#jesus christ theyre not even important in the ending

[mobs-99]

thinking about emotional neglect and repression wrt mob please help

[andromedasummer]

i ended up having a like. 30 minute conversation with some of those "freedom convoy" people. was at the bus stop. they were wearing trump hats. i ended up roped into the conversation because i was so taken aback at seeing one in public i was just. staring at it. ive never felt more depressed about someone elses life and beliefs than when i talked to them.

[bugintheruins]

[wackpedion]

atcually im sending more characters i wanna see u talk abt them tell me abt stan or fiddleford or bill for the ask game

OKOK I JUST ANSWERED FOR FIDDLEFORD OKOKOKOKOKOKOK im so excited i love them. okok ok OK OK ok so from this ask game:

STAN

favorite thing about them

How he loves the kids soso much ouhho vh oh o my ghod Not What He Seems tear my heart out rn. like theyre his world its so... ouhgkhjhbjh........ makes me ill. the way he loves his family as a whole is SO important to me like like like like he values his family so much theyre his world the way he spent 30 years getting ford back GOD dont remind me of of the portal incident i cant hhhrrrr

least favorite thing about them

I suppose how stubborn he is with Ford but like, idk i get it man. hes been thro alot and the two are on rocky ground up until the end so ofc hes gonna act like that and hes not gonna be all that emotionally mature about it.

favorite line

goddd he has so many good lines hes so funny. "Soos, would it be wrong to punch a child?"

brOTP

fiddleford mcgucket i need them to be friends u dont understand. i need this so badly

OTP

ermmm No One ? ive seen some stanbill which i find funny but im not all that invested in it

nOTP

pinecest 👍

random headcanon

As kids he and Ford would often do the twin switcharoo as a fun kid prank, they thought it was the funniest coolest thing but they were actually very easy to tell apart past a first glance because they weren't all that good at lying and pretending (yet)

unpopular opinion

ig its only loosely stan related but roadside attraction should NOT have been aa episode with focus on stan WHERE IS FORD. THE EPISODE BEFORE THE BIG ONE THAT KICKS OFF WEIRDMAGEDDON AND THERES NO FORD!?!?!? kmsing kmsing but you already know how ifeel about it i told you all about it I Miss Ford. I miss my wife tails.

song i associate with them

LUSH BY MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE "everything i touch falls apart and i am left with nothingg everything i touch it turns to total garbage and i cant with and i dont know whyyyy!!!!" like like his insecurity about being the total screwup of the family, his many many failed businesses, the fact he broke fords project and also ended up pushing him into the portal, juistghfhbvhjhbb

favorite picture of them

i like him with his sailing outfit esp the the beanie its cute :3 and EEEE THE BROTHERSSSS <333333

BILL

favorite thing about them

whatever the fuck he has going on ford jesus christ what the fuck who let them get away twith this hello. hello. i cant elaborate cuz id just end up talking about billford forever but fjesuffucking christ

least favorite thing about them

Honestly sock opera didn't make much sense, like he wanted to destroy the laptop and journal cuz dipper was getting "too close", but the journal was needed to operate the portal which was what he Needed and Wanted. my best guess as to why he did that is cuz he didn't want them to find and go off the warnings Ford wrote esp in invisible ink but i dunno. perhaps its that the journals (esp journal 3) wrote of a way to destroy him, im guessing, since ford tosses them to dipper in weirdmageddon saying theres a way to destroy bill, but still. odd. Still my favourite episode tho!!!!

favorite line

"Fordsy, nobody else really gets you, do they? Without me, you'll always feel unseen, surrounded by dolts who don't recognize your full potential. You've always felt alone in a crowd, haven't you? Who else will give you this feeling again? Even if you got rid of me, you'd miss me. Admit it, you'd miss me."

"Reality is an illusion the universe is a hologram buy gold BYEEEEE"

"BY THE WAY IM SENDING SOMEONE TO STEAL YOUR EYES. THATS NOT A JOKE. I HAVE A FRIEND WHO WILL STEAL YOUR EYES."

"I have some children I need to TURN INTO CORPSES"

also. just his "Yello!" gag in the dreamscaperers. its so sutpid i love it

honestly UGHH hes so quotable i love like every one of his lines everytime hes on screen its a joy. any episode is a good episode with bill. hes such a good villain

brOTP

None reaally? I guess I would've loved more antics with the henchmaniacs, like that one deleted scene, I found them pretty funny

OTP

BILLFORD DO UE VEN HAVE TO ASK HHHHHGHH

nOTP

None I think, i guess fiddleford and bill but i said that already and tbh im mostly indifferent to it

random headcanon

iii havent fully cvuaght up on all the code and lore cracking of TBOB but from what ive picked up he had to take medicine as a kid which affected his eyesight? so my hc is that he has some lasting damage with his vision from that

unpopular opinion

yes the book of bill gave us bill euclydia dimension lore but no that doesnt ruin his character sure his backstory is sad but like. its not his focal point. it gives him depth and an explanation its GOOD. hes still the villain whos evil because! who does whatever he wants! for fun! a sad backstory and a charming villain whos motivation is Fun can coexist its not the end of the world

also this is directed at like One thing i saw on twt but He Would Fucking Not listen to msi oh my god he canonically hates synthesized music i hate you

song i associate with them

GOD i have a few ermm.... theyre like billford related tho so. hope thats cool. the one ive been obsessed with is New Invention by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME its SO GFUCKING THEM DUDE ITS SO THEM LISTEN TO IT. NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! pls

favorite picture of them

every picture but ig if i had to choose him playing faggot piano for ford is up there

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time and what the hell. last night we watched ds9's "for the cause" and voy's "tuvix."

for the cause (ds9):

this one was fun bc the entire time i kept going no way is her ass smuggling for the maquis. its that cop guy setting her up. and then both turned out to be true LMAO

i am sooooo sad this happened to him. i hope they arent writing her out bc i like her so much. jake likes her! they bonded over baseball!!!

when sisko was like holding jake's hand and talking about how important their relationship was no matter what AAAAUGHGHG GOD

i just really genuinely thot she was innocent. i kept being like man dont accuse her. look at the woman you have. if you blow it you will never forgive yourself and then she willingly comes back to go to JAIL

b plot of garak was not too bad although it's always sad when we get him w/o bashir. for once i was convinced the actress for ziyal was different AND I WAS RIGHT! who's faceblind NOW (it's still me). deeply funny also whatever he had going on with quark when he was tailoring his pants

tuvix (voy):

WHAT. ON EARTH. WAS THIS

ok prior to this i had read on reddit that everyone hated janeway for killing tuvix. and i thought once i started that i had gotten the name wrong, that they hated her for killing tuVOK. then when i saw the title i thought they might be clones. imagine my surprise when tuvok wasn't even cloned or anything but he just straight up FUSES WITH NEELIX

they did a good job with tuvix. he was likable (until the end), he had mannerisms of both characters, it was really great. like, the ethical debate would not have worked if tuvix was just horrible and unsettling

GOD. AND THEY ACTUALLY DID ACT, IS THE THING. like janeway confessing to kes how she struggles with grief and hopelessness, kes coming to janeway's office in tears, THIS WAS ACTED. you REALLY genuinely felt their pain it was great character stuff for them both. janeway was lost without tuvok to ask for guidance and kes was lost without neelix AND tuvok like GOD

personally i think the deciding factor was tuvix's decision to involve kes - it was unfair to come to her for help, and especially sad when they'd worked so well within her boundaries before

the other thing is of course that neelix and tuvok arent alive inside this guy as he argues, theyre essentially TRAPPED inside this guy. two lives > one life, unfortunately for him

the end scene was still fucked up though. like REALLY fucked up. i love that the doctor wouldn't even participate. like it was That fucked up. and did we get any resolution after? something from janeway about why she did this? reassurances from tuvok and neelix? NOPE. episode just ends and you have to think about tuvix's accusatory stare forever. jesus fucking christ

TONIGHT: ds9's "to the death" and voy's "resolutions"

[gayspock]

hmmm

obvioously ive got no idea whats about to happen. but sorry. im on tom zareks side in so much of this. kind of rolling my eyes a bit at the show itself in some senses. bc again. idk what happens. sigh. but its obvious that zareks being pitched, by the show, as someone to be "against" - not to be so reductive about it, but yeah.

bc frankly like... everything hes saying? no offence. i completely fucking agree with. am i being insane. am i. someone else soundboard me here. bc, like please- a terrorist, sure, they keep overstating that but... also one from saggitaron, an extremely exploited colony, and thats what he was fighting for in the first place

and not to mention that everything he's advocated for, thus far... i agree with. the prisoners being used, like slaves- dont "its a hard choice, but one we have to make" me, bc its still wrong to have to fucking earn your freedom, jesus christ. even if, yes, humanity is on the god damn line.

AND we never see the actual civillians in the damn show-and thats sth thats actually frustrated me, thus far. but hes ALSO right about them. is now maybe the best time for total change? arguable. but like- also sorry but im onboard with dismantling whatever fucking system is in-place, if that system is presumabaly analogous to our own. hes right. i mean im kind of fuckin confused, bc again theyre not showing us much- but theres no money?? and some people are still living "as wealthy" whilst some are still labouring? sorry??? but yeah- fuckin yeah that needs to be addressed

like it would ANYWAY. the inequality would ANYWAY ofc. but like if theyre seriously having to build a new livelihood here then fuckin... GOD i dont know i dont think its mad or irrational to be pushing for that

AND no matter the results... whilst i do kind of yield, and recognise in a time of crisis a strong leader is kind of important, and shes made good decisions, its STILL not crazy to want fucking elections. i dont know. call me crazy lol im in the uk and we havent had the chance to choose a damn leader for a hot second. but like laura wasnt... anywhere near qualified to be the president. she wasnt elected by anyone, for anything, and calling for a damn vote isnt some extremist madness.

and i guess you can say this is all naive- that hes only advocating for this, to be in power himself- but... so is laura? like shes holding onto her position so she can do what she thinks is right; so she can exercise power. fucking SHRUG. whats the damn difference there? and shes the one with the upperhand right now. and dont get me wrong- i like laura and the decisions shes made genereally speaking but again... a) not crazy to want an elected leader and b) not crazy to question how shes handling civilian side of things bc we barely see that at all

and i think thats where i am eyerolling HARD at this show bc again idk. i EXPECTED this. but again. being reductive, but also its hard not to be because like- zareks being depicted as the antagonistic force here, and laura as the rational one, as one of our protags and its like... i dont MIND a difference of opinion playing out in front of me, you know, nor do i need my own political inclinations to align wholly with a show BUT... my point is its kinda exhausting the way they do kind of act like what zarek is saying is crazy and the show itself isnt challenging laura herself on THESE issues in particular when its justified. like they do with other hard decisions shes made but with some of this really not so much

and another thing was like similarly... they narratively justified it, by having that guy get apprehended as an assassin in the end, but also like... lee was making me suck my teeth this episode and groan. like seriously. stepping in and strongarming civillians in full on cop mode. i dont fucking like it dude. like when those two ppl were having a disagreement, and he sided against one guy despite the fact they had exhibited the same level of aggression with each other, bc that guy aligned with his own beliefs, and then exercised his power to threaten the other guy- yeah sorry again to be that guy but like... be for realll lee. and again i wouldnt be MAD that hed do that, in terms of a character decision, but again its like- obviously its in framing, yeah?

and this whole thing yes- WELL IT IS ALL VERY SILLY OF ME TO GET TOO IRRITATED, I MEAN PLEASE. THEYRE THE FUCKING MILITARY. THE ENTIRE MAIN CAST IS THE MILITARY. im not going into this expecting my own opinions to always be resonant here - and i wouldnt wiht any show. thats as equally braindead to expect that. but nonetheless man. its still one of those things im gonna bitch and moan about when it grates me in a particularly annoying way LOL bc like again. shru

[dear-happypills]

me: what,should i

google the street, market price???

happypills: no, no. like how much am i worth???

me: well, jeez.. i dont know if you put it that way.. but, i mean, its not like happypills isnt exactly uncommon. theyre everywhere. and i dont only mean in a medicative way, but like, everyone has some “happypills”. you know? shopping, social media, gym fiends that only get off on themselves, etc... 

happypills: ..... so im not so unique is what youre saying.

me: lollll is that what this is about?? i guess... your ubiquity is your worth.

happypills: pwuh. ubiquity??? what are you like bitching me?? -_- and there are like, 6 billion of you, you bitch. i guess your ubiquity is your worth.

me: LOLOL. okay okay. jeez, i didnt know your value was so important to you. hahaha. well sorry to break it to you, but everyone is worthless.

happypills: you see. that. right there. thats your problem.

me: uhh what?

happypills: defacing humanity.

me: whahh??? defacing humanity??? wowww. never heard that one.

happypills: you doooo.

me: well,... im not the one beeeaching about my worth and shit.

happypills: well isnt your salary your worth? like isnt that how it works with people?

me: -_-; watcha trying to say -- jerk? and what then, how does it work with you pills?

happypills: well i thought i was worth the fucking experience, but now im meeting different subset of species that tell me otherwise.

me: species?

happypills: you know, like people, cats, vegans, and whatever have you.

me: oh wow. must be confusing.

happypills: ikr??? so i come here, to you, for this guidance... and you come and tell me im worthless?

me: PWAHAHHA. well, when you say it like that.... jeez. i just mean............

happypills: YEahh. mean what?? huh?

me: ... i just mean.... at the end of the day. like the last day in this world... when the lights dim, and the noise settles.  and when the blood that flows through you, whispers to you... “its done”

everything that happened, every moment of every second will just look like lights that have past by, as if as though we are slipping through the event horizon of a black hole...

i just think to myself. when im there...

what worth was there?... 

when i am now over here, on the other side...?

you know? if that experience i had, once i have crossed over, i cant ever go back to -- retrieve and live -- then,... like what is that worth?

happypills: maybe.... its about the things you leave behind?

me: ha... leave behind...

ill be leaving behind my sins...

happypills: no, no. i mean about the people youve touched and affected.

me: but thats not my worth... you know what i mean??? im talking about my worth as in how i feel, the things i think -- what my mind craves and senses hunger for -- my soul... the things ill carry with me when i cross over to the other side...

when i pass, and all is gone,

and in the void, there is only me, myself, and i....

im...   ... worth nothing... you know??

...............

...

you see --  the issue isnt that i am sick.

its that i dont matter.

i guess when i put things in terms of, “oh, people are like that. theyre messed up. they only care about themselves. they think little about how small things, even words, can really hurt and fuck up others. how were corrupt, and greedy.” and yadiyadiyah....

im just projecting myself onto humanity... generalizing my sinful nature onto everyone else, as if it will reduce my worthelessness.

......... i....

....................

T-T...  fuck.

happypills:....... .................... ................. * pats my shoulder  oh bro,......         DONTeventrip dawwggg.  we gooAWWT this in the BAGGG.

. Jesus de CHRIST says you matter. :]

me: ............................................................ ................................................... .... WTF DO YOU KNOW, youre happypills.

*wipes tears.

happypills: *glares disapprovingly, but still continues to pat me

me: but yea,..  ahemm hmm,. seriously...  to this world, only money matters.

 according to the internet your worth is $96.75

happypills: -_-;; .......................wtf.

.....is that good???

- happypills

[dsmposting]

im posting the au b4 i watch any of the lore streems bc Jesus christ iwill NOT be normal. i bet

uuuhh so here is the,summary of it (also only going to b referring to c!dsmp members from here on)

it starts w tubbo acting kinda suspicious and purposefully avoiding talking abt or addressing his feelings (also literally anything about ranboo or michael. i hc that eret n phil usually step in n watch him 4 tubbo) as he walks around the smp kinda aimlessly until he sees tommy and they finally start talking again! and tommys been rlly worried abt tubbo bc they dont see each other as much n tubbo makes a rlly brief comment like "that wont be a problem for very long anyway" and toms assumes its just bc theyre reconnecting n plan on talking more often, but smthn about the way he says it feels wrong. he shrugs it off though

a couple days pass and tommy wakes up to find a note in his chest from tubbo!! and he says he has smthn rlly important and exciting to show him!! so toms takes a while to get ready and at some point stops bc he hears a huge fucking unnatural explosion sound waayyy off in the distance and he's like "oh thats bad. oh fuck wtf" and runs to the spot tubbo told him to meet up at to make sure tubbos okay and then . freezes in fear

bc the community house is blown up Again, but way worse than ever before. shit is on fire, the hole in the ground is way too steep and theres these weird snowy particles stuck in the air that make him feel funny when he touches them. the worst part is that tubbo is standing on a cobblestone tower in the middle of the crater and smiling at him like nothing happened.

tommy stares at him and asks why he looks so happy before tubs notices him and practically starts glowing w/ excitement. "oh my god hi!!! i didnt think youd show up already!! do u like what ive done w the place?? :D" and tommy just starts fucking shaking like "tubbo what did you do. why are you doing this" b4 tubbo does this big monologue abt how he finally finished developing a new weapon All on his Own and that now it could just be him and tommy again, but with no dream or sapnap or literally anyone else to get in the way this time!! and how he's so excited because now everything will make sense again and he doesn't have to think about things that ruin his psyche anymore and they never have to be apart again. at some point during the monologue tubbo starts staring at the sky, so tommy takes the opportunity to start tearing down the cobblestone tower while his best friend is distracted and forcibly interrupts his monologue to just fucking sit there and hug him. tubbo cries, probably for the first time in nearly a year, and tom tells him that he doesn't need to do all this crazy shit to keep them from splitting apart. hes still freaked the fuck out by everything that happened though and tubbo tells him that even if they repair the community house completely there will still be radiation in the area around it for, yknow, possible decades.

tommy realizes they could get caught for this and decides on the spot that the two of them are leaving. when tubbo asks what he means by that he starts spitballing a plan to say goodbye to phil and eret and everybody they still give a shit about and then run from the smp. tubbo takes a lot of convincing but eventually realizes it'd be safer for michael that way, and agrees to move away with him. tommy makes a point to say "if fuckin wilbur can do it, so can we." tubbo asks if they're just taking his orders out of habit again, and tommy reassures him that the decision they're making is their own because if he would never move to Fucking Utah; tubbo adds that he'd probably punch him in the dick if he ever saw him again anyway and tommy nearly cries laughing

they take Maybe a week doing what toms calls a "moving out speedrun" in which they start saying goodbye to the ppl they care about and this is p much where my idea ends. still have no idea how id tackle the ranboo situation at all but fuck it theres real lore now ig

[hopalongfairywren]

Sam Bucket Lore liveblogging

FUCK WE'RE LIVE

lore is starting in nine minutes ok. I can wait.

quackity inspires him omg. cc!Quackity really did raise the dsmp to new levels. It was already great but he made it fucking cinematic

tina shoutout! Everyone say thank you to cc!tina she is the reason

Sam bucket. I will never get tired of cc!sam saying saaam buuucket

wait its not over till its over... Huh. Damnit their goes my friday night

c!george cameo? They really are shoehorning in every lore deficient person into these finales huh.

creepy music ooh. I love the music its not spooky month yet but i feel like the music makes it come early.

jumpscares? Fuck. The things I do for minecraft lore

Bad, minecraft is fucking terrifying

Oh thank god the timeline is saved

STARTING

oh god it has a "disturbing content warning" and its crackling like a found footage thingy. Well dsmp fandom if I don't see a shit ton of halloween/horror projects after this imma be mad

recap! with creepy music!

god damn it im already on edge

c!sam thank you for having more reason than the average horror protagonist

YESS. WAIT KNIGHTS OF HOPE? WILL THEY JOIN? AU MATERIAL?

talk to foolish? At the same time as perhaps... the knights of hope... so interconecting lore and plotlines that compliment each other?

No one would come. Nobody trusts c!sam or c!bad because of their actions. Jesus christ. That's my angsty interpretation but it's probably everyone just going; "Well ghosts are real, you can revive the dead, their was a parasitic red egg that tried to kill us, but that..? That's ridiculous lol. Go take your meds."

c!sam is fucking terrified and trying to reassure himself that maybe this isn't real. I wouldn't exactly call it gaslighting (can we not water down the term gaslighting is actively malicious-)

Oh. He brought up being stuck in the egg. Get him c!Sam.

Past lorestream being mentioned in canon? consistency for lore/characters/timeline? Can this stream kiss me pls?

FUUUCK

why does the music sound like fnaf phone ringing stuff

aaand they split up. theyre totally dead

sam bucket

ok but imagine from an in universe perspective how terrifying this is. I'll make a detailed post later

fuck the worst thing is when its to dark you can't see the threat

is he gonna do the horror classic of sneaking into the monster?

YEP

EGG AINT GONE YET EGG MAINS STAY WINNING

jesus christ they took notes from classic horror movies didn't they

Oh god the og eggpire. This makes the current eggpire's actions even more horrifying. They knew they were wrong. they did it anyways.

And yet more proof that the dsmp has been inhabited long before c!dream and will be long after!

Sam bucket

Francis? FRAN?

Callahan? Dream? Slime? Who knows who started this take ur pick!

Oh god I was right. The eggpire people would have had a few momments of lucidity. Scp Slowburn sloth nightmarefuel shit right their

Oh he wanted his dog. Oh. :(

SAM BUCKET WAS WARNING THEM? OH? OH? (pls tell me this is the truth no sudden attack no jumpscare let sam bucket be good)

ok now i feel bad for what im gonna do with sam bucket in pitdd :(

Wait is this a trick? Oh fuck. FUCK.

Is he sacrificing himself or Bad?

Oh HIMSELF?

Now I REALLY feel bad for what I'm gonna do with sam bucket lore in pitdd. Ah well I wrote it back when sam bucket was new and its important

HE PULLED A SKEPPY REFRENCE WTF

OK that ending. I DID NOT SUSPECT THAT ENDING

So many questions. Is Sam bucket good? did he trick c!bad? Did he somehow escape after destroying the egg? did he kill c!bad after this or get him posessed? This doesn't end until cc!sam gets raided so I guess we have to find out....

Oh god back to the scary part no more whismical music

THE EGG IS FROM THE FUCKING NETHER?

Ok this left more questions then answers why did sam bucket show up outside after he blocked himself off. The implication of the Egg being from the nether. If this is the end I'll be confused.

oh wow this is late i forgot to publish it woops

[bonecouch]

the thing that really bothers me about the mcu (aside from all the problems other people have talked about) is that the branding of it as a “cinematic universe” is a marketing ploy to get people to accept how many movies theyre making. theres been like 30 fucking disney marvel movies since 2008. remember when there were so many sequels to jaws that back to the future 2 had a joke about “jaws 19″? you know how many jaws sequels there were? 3. there is no “cinematic universe”. all you have is a series of 30 fucking films. 30 of them. jesus fucking christ. theres been like 12 friday the 13ths and that seems like nothing compared to this marvel shit. if they marketed as all one series, people would have gotten sick of it years ago. “jeez theyre making another one?” but by calling it a “cinematic universe” you get people to stop questioning it. just pretend theyre separate series. the new black panther movie is not “black panther 2″, its “avengers 30″. the idea of a shared universe really just does not work with the format of movies. because it takes so long to make a movie, even when you pump them out as fast as you can like disneys doing, it all just ends up being one series. whereas with a serialized storytelling format like comic books or television, you can have multiple concurrent series that are distinct from one another while sharing a fictional universe. you can air star trek deep space nine alongside tng and voyager. you can publish spider-man and iron man and whatever else all at the same time. and maybe once in a while spider-man shows up in daredevil, or quark shows up on tng. but an important factor in these shared universes is that i can read spider-man comics and ignore iron man and daredevil and the avengers and the x-men etc etc etc and still understand whats going on. you can watch any star trek sequel/spin off series without ever watching tos. you cant just watch doctor strange and its sequel, because doctor strange in the multiverse of madness is not doctor strange 2. it is not simply a sequel to doctor strange. if i have to watch avengers infinity war and endgame and wandavision and whatever else in order to understand doctor strange 2, you cant keep pretending that theres a series of doctor strange movies and a series of black panther movies and a series of spider-man movies because it becomes clear that its all one series

[mackdizzy]

Things I know about the great comet of 1812 (from someone who knows a decent amount but not a lot about great comet)

[because my newsies post is blowing up again and i thought a part 2 would be cool]

—so first and foremost, let’s get one thing very straight; there’s a war going on out there somewhere and Andre isn’t here

—and because you have to look it up in your program and it’s a complicated Russian novel where everyone’s got nine different names, there are. A LOT. Of characters. I will try to recap them.

—Natasha is young. Sonya is her cousin. Helene is a slut (wtf misogyny). Anatole is hot. Dolokhov is not very important, which is straight up bullying. That’s not all of them but that’s all I’ve got

—and then theyre like what about Pierre? USELESS STUPID OLD UGLY FAT PIERRE I’m like Jesus Christ guys

—let’s get into plot. Ill try my best.

—Natasha lives with Sonya, her cousin, and Marya, who is Sonya’s mom and her aunt maybe?? Natasha is engaged to Andre, but remember Andre isn’t here because there’s a war going on out there somewhere

—Pierre is also here, but he’s very depressed and thinks we’re all gonna turn into dust or smthn

—there is also a very depressed girl named Mary and her BITCH ASS UNCLE but I don’t know how they are important AT ALL so I’m done talking about them now

—anyway. All is fine and dandy until Anatole shows up at this ball and sweeps Natasha off her feet, real Romeo and Juliet style.

—now okay this is a little weird because Anatole is married to Helene except I think Helene is also his sister and there’s some like inc/st thing going on there. which like personally I do not find that hot but Lucas Steele whatever whatever whatever

—so Helene is like yo Natasha you have to be charming if you want to steal my man slash brother

—but then like

—im realizing I really don’t know what happens in this musical

—people find out about Natasha and Anatole and they’re like not in MY HOUSE so anatole like. Takes Natasha and they run away and that’s MAYBE the end of act 1 and then they write letters

—and then Andre gets back and he has a duel with DOLOKHOV I think? He’s probably fighting for his boyfriends honor bc let me tell you there is something FRUITY going on between Anatole and dolokhov. Which idk guys dueling for ur Boyfs honor sounds pretty important to me 🤨

—anyway. Anatole and Natasha are running away, Andre and Dolokhov are living it up ten duel commandments style, and THEN THIS BITCH NAMED BALAGA POPS OUT WITH AN ACCORDION

—WHY? WHO FUCKING KNOWS.

—sorry this show makes me a little bit angry sometimes

—anyway. Anatole like basically DUMPS Natasha and she’s so upset by it that she literally nearly dies of depression. like it gets super sad out of literally nowhere

—and then Pierre shows up and he’s like don’t be depressed, Natasha, marry me, even though we have never spoken in this entire show and they live happily ever after

—I think somewhere there is a comet

[readyandnot]

MILO GREER HBS 2022

reactions w/ the lovely @morgansplace <33

i’m r, morgan is m:

it’s a lot lol, we were excited

m- People's going wild

r- OOOOH HERE WE GO MILO I MISSED YOUUUU

r- i felt that unpacking thing rn Imao A BROKEN MAN

r- "fancy schmancy" milo ily

m- sacrilegious- SOCKS ARE SOCKS I'M USING FUCKING ELEPHANT ONES RIGHT NOW

r-HIS LAUGHHHH<33 YOU ARE MY MAN MILO

m- "Your man" GOOOOOOD HIS LAUGHHHHH

r- “you wanna repeat that shitstarter?" no-

m- No l don't-

m- WHAT THE FUCK MILO I LOVE YOU

r- HIS FUCKING CHANGE OF VOICE IM DEAD

r- “A WALKING TERROR I CALL A MATE" yeah sounds about right

m- HE'S SO FUCKING DRAMATIC

Yeah that's sweetheart

r- "i blame david" FOR YOUR DUMBASS LMAO

what if sweetheart is hiding them???

m- His laugh oh my fucking god

r- i'm just a simp for his laugh, that's saying

something

m-WE ARE, WE ARE

r-ASHER IS A LITTLE BASTARD BUT I LOVE

HIM OKAY

r-MAN WANTS HIS SOCKS

m-WE LOVE HUGS<333 OH MY GOD KISSES

r-THEYRE SUCH A MARRIED COUPLE

r-HE'S SO SOFTTT

"i wanna give you a kiss" MANNNN

m-YES THEY ARE

r-"hey there" HELLO HUSBAND, i mean milo-

*sweetheart reveals they’ve been hiding the socks*

r-I CALLED ITTTT

m- HAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

FUCKING SEER

m- he's so dramatic and that's hot

r-"i was about to have an aneurysm" that's me

on a normal basis Imao

HIS GROWLLLLS ALREADY???

m-I'M COLLAPSING

r- ILL PUT THEM ON FOR YOU i'm sorryyyyy

m- Oh I'm not

r- IT WAS FOR COMEDIC EFFECT MILO

r- aw only kisses?

m- “aw” FACTS

r- "i love you" MILO YOU HUSBAND MATERIAL

m-The whole channel is husband material

r- "piece of work" CALLBACK

"who i love more than life itself” ITS SO

SENTIMENTAL OMFG

“i’ll give you a spanking”

r-😳 do it-

m- please do, actually

r- “it's not like it'd be the first time"

AYOOOOOO

"or the last" i'm deceased

m- Oh My Fucking Satan

r- “damn sweetheart" DAMN MILO

WHEN DO YOU DRESS UP MILO GREER

his laugh jesus christ

m-Baby he could use a paper bag and I'll be like

OMG HOTTIE

I'm just

I'm just not here

r- “get you feeling some kinda way" OH IT

DOES

BUT YOU DO EVEN WITHOUT THE

CLOTHES-

m-OH MY GOD

r- omg his fucking dirty talk- his accent on “all omg”

m- HIS ACCENT IN GENERAL

r-“leather belts" yes please

i bet you like nice and slow-

IM NOT SORRY

r- “pull down with your teeth" oh FUCK

m-FUCKING SHIT

r- AND I THOUGHT ASH AND BABE WERE KINKY

m- LMAO THEY ALL ARE

DAVID AND ANGEL IN THE WOODS???

HELLO????

r- grinding yourself down on my fancy shoe"

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

r- behind your back with a soft silk tie"

OMGGGGG

m- THE SHOE LMAO

m- Oh my fucking god I'm screaming

r- “looking up at me with those pretty eyes"

FUCK-

m-PRETTY EYES:((<333

r- “naughty tongue" HES THE BEST AT DIRTY

TALK OMFG

m- OH MY FUCKING GOD-

m- YES HE IS Usually I don't like dirty talk But-

r- "you always know what to do" DAMN RIGHT I DO

m- MILO MOTHERFUCKING GREER

r-“lapping up every drop i give and you earn

every one of them" i'm dead

m- KISSES OMG

r- bury me in my grave HIS NOISES

m-we're done

r- WE’RE GONNA BE LATE BUT FUCK IT

m- DINNER IS NOT THIS IMPORTANT

Fuck it, they can have dinner another time okay.

r-"yeah you can touch" CONSENT <33HIS MOANS keep going" keep moaning damn

m-CONSENT IS THE SWEETEST AND SEXIEST

THING EVER

r- MILO.GREER. I LOVE YOUR BODY NOT LIKE LETS GET THAT STRAIGHT

m-I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD

r-HIS GASPS IM SO-

"give me a squeeze" YPU DONT HAVE TO

TELL ME TWICE

m- GIMME A SQUEEZE AYUDA

r-"just like that" “more" OH MY FUCING GOD

m- OH MY GOD

YOU WANT ME HOW??? YES SIR

r- "i wanna strip you outa these clothes i want

you naked in front of me" fuck me-

m-YES YOU'RE A FUCKING GIFT FROM

HEAVEN

m-fuck it they don’t need us

r- " got a different kind of hunger" yeah me too

but that's obvious HIS GROWLSSSS

m- OH MY FUCKING GOD

m-BREAK THE B-

I'm fucking done

r-cause i sure fucking am"

m-OH MY GOD

r- “i’m gonna have you calling out my name so

loud they'll hear you in dahlia"THE WHISPERS

m-IM FUCKING DONE

*video ends*

r- NOOOOOOOO

m- no no no no

r- PATREON HAVERS YOU LUCKY MFS

m- FACTS

m- Milo Greer,

you’re invited to-

FUCK ME

don’t be late!

r- FR DONT EVEN NEED AN INVITATION

r-morgan

sam is next

HOW ARE WE GONNA LIVE

m-SAM'S GOING TO FUCKING BREAK ME I

SWEAR TO GOD

[dendrosystem]

ok so heres the pre- 3.0 livestream post im making to gather all of my thoughts about what we’ve seen so far 

“A little experiment in blasphemy”

this little scene actually gave us ALOT !!!!!! of insight !

A1. our first look at the big burning tree of sumeru (more on this part later) A2. collei has prophetic dreams ! (proven that dottores little prank wasnt just collei’s bad dream in the 40 second animation) A3. tighnari is a fucking nerd

A3. tighnari (and possibly/probably cyno) is collei’s instructor/mentor !

A4. there are multiple Il Dottores. (jesus christ 😇) AND Il Dottore (collective) doesnt enjoy being called “young”

A5. Dottore Prime (the first) is the one burning the tree

A6. assuming the little conversation at the end of Winter Night’s Lazzo takes place while theyre still at the funeral, we can assume that the funeral takes place after the traveler gets to sumeru because like if the tree was already burning then uhhhhh i think there’d be more word about it around teyvat and also the traveler is shown standing there in the animated video so it cant have been burning for that long

“I’m just the moon. The real sun is long gone.”

B1. my personal belief is that this metaphor is very subtly hinting to what i like to call a “Solar Eclipse” dynamic that will become more apparent later on in the story. solar eclipses are very large events in which the moon covers up the sun, so my theory is that Kusanali took the place of (covered up for) the old dendro archon in some big event.

B2. my other ideas about this line are that the culture of sumeru has changed a bit in terms of how they regard their archon since the change happened. Kusanali is widely reffered to as “Lesser Lord’. this is even how Yae reffers to her at the end of inazuma’s archon quest, so its pretty widely known that Kusanali isnt the original archon i guess ? so my guess is that the moon and real sun thing could also imply that sumeruan culture used to be “we revolve around our archon” like the earth revolves around the sun, but now its “the archon revolves around us” like the moon revolves around the earth. this is to say that kusanali may be more of a servant to the people, whereas the old archon was more of a traditional religious figure. 

ok this one is wayyy more loose than the rest but. 

what the fuck is the little ball of light that Kusanali is handling in that video ? 

C1. well, its a little ball of light ! my immediate thought was, “could this signify the sun ?” it doesnt seem too far off since thats literally what shes talking about in that part. i know she says “the real sun is long gone” but the glowing ball could be a metaphor for her “handling the original archon”. as for what this could mean ? no fucking clue. 

SUMERU’S BIG FIRE EXTRAVAGANZA

D1. here is my absolute favorite theory about whats going on in that goddamned tree. (not my theory but i agree with it, i forgot where i got it from tho) you know how you can set dendro slimes on fire to lure them out of the ground ? yeahhhh uhhh. what if the real dendro archon is inside that tree and dottore is trying to get them out ? 

D2. no matter what the point of setting the tree on fire is for, its definitely something important because Dottore Prime is out there doing it so like. you go girlie !!

okay thats just about it, please tell me if i missed anything or made any mistakes and i am more than happy to have discussions about anything on here <3 

[dromaeo-sauridae]

Sorry for spam liking half of your promethea tag SHFJKSKFK but I saw one of your posts come up bc I follow the spec evo tag, and I’m intrigued!! I have no clue what’s going on over there, I didn’t see a summary in as far as I scrolled — what’s the story with that world?

AEIFHUJA youre all good i was sleeping anyway! i dont mind spam liking !!

oh god yeah i never have posted a summary of wtf is going on have i. i just draw random shit LOL. ok lemme try to say all this without taking forever. um before i start i want to mention that im making the story with my friend who isnt on tumblr! i do most of the worldbuilding for promethea itself (and the creature design for all of cassandra) and they are in charge of another group of people who are pretty important lol. theres a LOT going on, so im just gonna focus on the main thing for now but if you want to know EVERYTHING then i can go over it all lmao

the story focuses on dawn (friend's character) who used to be a part of a group of sun god worshippers that were in charge of guarding the prison of a dragon named cinder. dawn was going to be the next warden/priest and in charge of keeping the prison secure, but a follower of cinder broke in and killed almost everyone there when dawn was a young child. they escaped when a wolf named theo led them to safety. afterwards, they were found and taken in by the king of promethea, jack. after a while, dawn realizes that something is wrong with him. hes being possessed, and its by the god of death. no one else is aware of this, since its been going on since he was a child and hes "himself" most of the time. however, as time goes on, its getting worse and worse and dawn starts looking for a way to help him. during their search, they find a woman named anuba, who strangely enough is looking for the same thing. well pretty quickly they realize that they both know jack, him and anuba being partners when they went to school together. so they start working together. unfortunately this sort of thing doesnt really. happen. ever. and they keep coming up with dead ends.

eventually one of them (not sure who yet, this bitch of a story is still a work in progress <3) comes up with the idea of calling on the sun god for help. the important thing here is that this god isnt the god of the sun, shes the god of damn everything. shes represented by the sun because of how powerful she is. the problem with her is since she's so huge and powerful, getting her attention is nearly impossible, even for someone like dawn who came from a group of her worshippers. anuba suggests letting the dragon whos locked up, cinder, out, since this god was the one who locked cinder up. dawn doesnt like the idea since cinder was locked up after she attempted to destroy all of cassandra, but they dont have many other options. anuba, who's desperate for literally any solution at this point, gets frustrated and goes off on her own to let cinder out anyway.

cinder is free.

now, there are two pieces of information that have been hidden from everyone up until this point. one, cinder is not just a dragon, she is a god, and she is the god who created cassandra. and two, cinder and the god that has been possessing jack are working together, and have been since the beginning. and jack is the one who killed the sun worshippers.

at this point, jack is beyond saving. hes too far gone and basically dead. his body is being used by the death god and when dawn returns, it attempts to kill them and theyre forced to finally kill him. dawn and anuba end up working together again, this time to kill cinder.

and yeah thats it. the ending is a bit rough cuz like i said its still a work in progress and jesus H christ this is so goddamn long already i need to fucking stop i hope this makes sense sorry for taking literally all day to answer its bc im atrocious at writing and it kept getting confusing LOL. theres a bunch of important shit ive left out bc of. the length. so if you have questions pls ask them

[alfredolover119]

I looooove your zukka rec lists! I recently became Avatar-obsessed, never got a chance to watch it as a kid and only just got through it all! I was wondering if you'd consider doing a specifically angst rec list? I love fluffy zukka everything, but sometimes you just gotta have your heart ripped out of your chest and put back in after being thoroughly blended.

thank you! i relate heavily to “recently became Avatar-obsessed” haha. as for the angst list, i sure can try! warning: all of these have happy endings because im a crybaby who can’t read unhappy endings. also, p much all of the fics in the completed section were featured on my other lists but this is specifically the ANGSTY ones >:^)

angsty zukka wips

first, most obviously, feels like we only go backwards by @oldpotatoe

-currently at 102k with 19/27 chapters posted; rated teen

-the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. you know. i haven’t actually read it yet because, as previously mentioned, i’m a crybaby and am waiting for it to finish up but, from my understanding, this fic will murder you in a dark alleyway with no remorse. if u like zukka angst, you’ve probably already read this, but just in case!

An injury leaves Sokka with amnesia. His last memory is of the failed invasion, of leaving his father behind in enemy territory on the Day of Black Sun. Of hopelessness. Rage. // But then he wakes up, and the war is over. Suddenly, he must come to terms with the fact that years have passed, and that he's somehow the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador to the Fire Nation. He is also supposedly friends with banished-Prince-turned-Fire-Lord Zuko, of all people. Close friends.

Yeah, nah.

and i’ll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) by @goldrushzukka

-currently 38k with 6/8 chapters posted; rated mature

-holy shit. holy SHIT. modern au based on the “my cat likes my fuckbuddy and i am falling in love” trope(?). maybe it’s just because of how the last chapter ended, but oh my god. this one made me cry. made me want to commit violence. when it’s not angsty as hell, it’s pretty funny, but holy shit. ao3 user nebulastucky please.

It’s supposed to be a one night stand. Pick up some guy at a bar, barely remember his name and never learn anything real about him, send him packing in the morning with a thanks for the ride and a cup of coffee to-go. That’s how it’s supposed to go. // But then it’s the best sex Sokka has ever had, and he thinks he’ll hate himself if he never gets to have it again.

Violet Blossoms and Celestial Objects by @hollypunkers

-currently 15k with 2/? posted. rated teen.

-this is the sequel to blue (an angsty, zukka rewrite of book 2-- go read it if u havent!)! !! this is a book 3 rewrite. only two chapters in and mrs hollypunkers is really abusing the miscommunication tag, as zukka writers seem to enjoy doing. im excited to see how the world and story develops with the changes to the story! you should be too!! its very good! obviously spoilers for blue lmao

Having sided with the Avatar in Ba Sing Se, Zuko not only must navigate his new relationship with Sokka but returning to the Fire Nation as a banished enemy. His own journey of self discovery and personal growth must now coexist alongside the personal struggles of every other member of the Gaang as together they blaze a treacherous path toward an unsure victory against Zuko's own father and nation.

breakable heaven by @fruitysokka

-currently 71k with 9/11 chapters posted. rated teen

-swt ambassador zuko! soon to be chief sokka! fake dating ur best friend to get out of an arranged marriage! what could go wrong!!! i also haven’t read this one ((see: i’m a crybaby who is being hurt by too many zukka wips already)), but it has been hanging out in my marked for later for months. from what i understand, this fic has: angst.

With his twenty-first birthday looming just around the corner, the Southern Water Tribe Elders have decided that Sokka, next in line to be Chief, needs to get married. Sokka does not want that, but he does need to get them off his back until he can figure his way out of it. What better way to do that than to pretend to date his best friend (and newly minted Ambassador to the Southern Water Tribe) Zuko? // Seriously, this is a foolproof plan. Maybe one of Sokka's best. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.

angsty zukka fics (completed!)

(i’ll put these in wc order)

lighthouse beam by @incorrectzukka

-7k, rated g

-a modern college au!! zuko’s inner-monologue is very angsty in this fic. typical zuko. also per usual, theyre both fucking dorks. they sort themselves out in the end, but not before The Angst. zuko is semi-deaf in this fic and also he has a bit of internalized homophobia.

Sokka’s breathtakingly beautiful and he’s smart and makes other people laugh. Zuko has a half-burnt face and a deaf ear. It’s not rocket science. // Or, Zuko falls in love with the boy in his Philosophy class.

This Isn’t My Idea of Fun by @khaleeseas

-9k, explicit

-moon spirit/nwt prince!sokka, no war to be found here! admittedly this isnt THAT angsty but like. the angst IS present. zuko is still the prince. a lovely childhood friends (though they hated each other for a minute haha) to lovers story. 

If you asked Zuko, he and Azula saw far too much of Chief Hakoda of the Northern Water Tribe’s children growing up. It wasn’t until they were older, and Azula pointed out that - duh - their families were trying to set them all up, that he realized why. // He was told by his mother to be polite. These people were their friends and allies, and though their nations were as different as they came, harmony between nations was the most important thing. // It wasn’t his fault the Chief’s children were so annoying.

put your lips close to mine (as long as they don’t touch) by @celestialceci

-9k, teen

-modern au! zuko and sokka are college roommates. zuko goes to spend the summer with sokka. again,, not really that angsty but-- its there!! the detail and feeling of Home in this story make me happy. zuko is insecure as hell here too. if ur into that. 

Zuko hates his home. He likes college alright, but he likes Sokka even better, his assigned roommate turned best friend. Spending the summer with Sokka will be fun, a welcome change of pace he desperately wants. It probably won't awaken anything in him... right?

the thing about dancing by anodymalion

-9k, teen

-yes. this one right here officer. it makes my heart ache. also trans sokka! which is cool. but the zuko angst in this one. hurts me. not so much relationship angst as it is zuko learning he deserves happiness angst. i’m sure u know The Type.

The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

i could (never) give you peace by @zukkababey

-10k, mature

-OUCH. OUCH OUCH OUCH. boys please learn to communicate im begging u. also zuko.. zuko, dude. as the tags of the fic say, hes “really going through it” in this one. YOUCH. post-canon.

Zuko almost said it. He almost said the words I think I’m in love with you, but he choked them back down at the last second. // Zuko would never be able to be what Sokka wanted. They might have needed each other during the summer, when two boys with too much weight on their shoulders found comfort in each other in the only way they knew how. // But now Zuko was Fire Lord, and Sokka was leaving.

this love burns so yellow (becoming orange and in its time, exploding) by @meliebee 

-18k, teen, major character death 

-i lied. THIS is the one, officer. found family.. good mai and zuko and toph friendships.. . ozai escapes prison and tries to overthrow zuko. OBVIOUSLY angst ensues. poor boy. he Does heal in this but it gets worse before it gets better. angst angst angst angst.

Ten months after Zuko is crowned at seventeen, he faces his first coup.

Anything for You by beersforqueers

-23k, explicit

-istg. this is probably one of my favorite zukka fics. its PAINFUL. modern au where theyre broken up but sokka hasnt told his family yet so zuko goes home with him for kataang wedding. a bit smutty, but the plot oh my god ohgm y fuvk. made me cry the first time i read it. (see: crybaby!me) insert that one picture of the horse with the caption PAIN. 

In which Sokka and Zuko have broken up but Sokka hasn't told his family yet. So when Katara and Aang's wedding weekend rolls around and he doesn't want to break Gran-Gran's heart, he asks Zuko to pretend to be his boyfriend for one last weekend. // Things don't go as planned.

Moving Mountains by @thefangirlingdead

-64k, mature

-so. when i read this the first time it was in one sitting. soulmate au set within canon era / the comics, to an extent. soulmates can hear each others thoughts. i will happily say this is slowburn, jesus christ. champagne without the cham. 

Soulmates are chosen by the spirits and can hear each other’s thoughts. Sokka thinks it’s cheesy and dumb. Zuko thinks it’s poetic justice that he doesn’t have one because he doesn’t deserve it. Cruel irony is finding out that the prince of the Fire Nation (and the person currently hunting you) is your soulmate.

In the Soft Light by @voidcenturyscholar and @romancedawning

-83k, teen, graphic depictions of violence

-moon spirit!sokka living in the northern water tribe. zuko is sent to the northern water tribe as a cultural liaison. iroh is the fire lord but while he is away taking care of lu ten after his injury ozai steps up. i cannot express how many emotions this fic made me feel. background yuetara. i would almost say found family?? but. anyway. plenty of angst to spare here with a healthy dose of enemies to friends to lovers.

As the newly appointed cultural liaison to Northern Water Tribe, Zuko is the first Fire Nation Citizen to step foot inside the city's walls in nearly a century. He's determined to prove himself—to the Fire Lord and to his father—even if the Water Tribe's spirit-touched prince seems to want nothing to do with him.

That Midnight Sky by @zukkababey

-103k, teen

-now now now. tms... modern college au where sokka agrees to tutor zuko in physics because zuko has to maintain straight a’s and physics is just not doing it for him. so. thats cool but THEN azula moves in, randomly, with zuko. to hide the fact that sokka is tutoring zuko, they fake date! what could go wrong!! the mutual pining in here combined with the angst... wonderful, tasty. everyone read it rn. also SLOWBURN 

In Zuko’s strict family, needing a tutor is just about the worst thing you could do. Failing a class, however, is even worse. The only rational solution? Take up Aang on his offer to find him a physics tutor and have Sokka—beautiful, smart, handsome Sokka—tutor him in secret. // When Azula’s arrival threatens to reveal Zuko’s secret, it’s up to Sokka to convince her this definitely isn’t what it looks like. See, he’s actually… Zuko’s… boyfriend? // Hmm. There’s no way this could get complicated, right?

[nagdabbit]

MY GIRLFRIEND'S COMMENTARY WHILE WATCHING HER FIRST AEW PPV

"my entire fitness goal is hook's shoulder-waist ratio, but with taz's extremely dense neck."

"the funniest thing about wrestling is that this fucking company is trying to make something called a stadium stampede sound both cool, AND serious."

gf: "if you cry listening to a crowd sing judas again, im divorcing you." me: "so that means youre gonna marry me." gf: "i've been bamboozled."

about brian cage: "this man is a huge dork. like, literally, i could fit me in him."

"i dunno what it is, but i would die to protect mr. hangman. he hunk, but he also baby."

thoughtfully, "i bet i could just catch you out of the air like that. i mean, i can squat you, i could probably even curl you like that, too."

because she is deeply in wrestling twitter now: "HOOK! babe, look, its hook! hook hive, rise up!"

"what i love about this feud is that all these men are fuckin' idiots. no brain cells, just shoes and fwiendship."

"what do you mean their tag team isn't just the wild boys, wtf? missed opportunity."

"those kicks are ugly, but i would steal them, too, honestly." *thirty seconds of silence layer* "for you, babe. i'd steal them for you, i mean."

"jon, no, the germs, jon, jesus christ, please dont drink that jon you dumbass."

"i love eddie, but i'm pretty sure we should never hang out. too much extremely new york energy, we would get arrested in like ten minutes. possibly less."

"diorsday device is the funniest shit ive ever fucking heard, how goddamn sad is that."

"max caster is gonna get murdered, but i love him."

"i wish bowens and his extremely attractive boyfriend the best in life."

"colt cabana and tay conti are tied for best smile in wrestling, but tay wins because i dont want colt to kick me in the face."

"penta is the only joker i formally recognize."

"today i found out that some people don't like stu and uno, and to them i say get entirely fucked."

after rush came out and i lost my entire shit: "i don't fully understand yet, but i support you." *one minute later* "oooooooooooohh. okay, yeah."

gf: "i enjoy that cody is pushing ogogo by being a dumb bitch with this america schtick." me: "you gonna say that when cody wins?" gf: "...fuck."

"ogogo got that guy ritchie movie ass music you love to see it."

"you were right about cody and i fuckin' hate it."

"aw yeah, its big boi season."

about miro: "i'm very gay, but the thing is, men with extremely jacked traps just do something to me."

"lance changed changed the color of his extensions and i appreciate that." *thirty seconds later* "are those... three crosses? tattooed on his back? jesus doesnt like murder, i don't think he likes murderhawks, either."

"britt baker is the only dentist i want in my mouth. no, wait, don't type that one!"

"oh, fuck, shidas getting teary i'm gonna fuckin cry, oh fuck, i get it now, i'm so sorry i made fun of you, i love her."

"oh fuck, shida knee me directly in the face."

"britt scares me. like the blood drip details on her gear are really cool, but i would legit believe its real blood from her."

"are you really crying about britt and the nice announcer man hugging?"

"hey, quick question, just real quick while ive got you here... why is the emo twink... like this?"

"darby's dad looks like my dad, and i'll never be okay with that."

"i like that darby just yeets himself around like that. he came in like a wrecking ball. a tiny, tiny wrecking ball."

"sting just tossing his son around the ring like that is very good, but, sir, that's bad parenting."

"the thing about sky and page is that these are the suburb guys i beat up at the beach on summer vacation. they have big "i robbed these guys at the pier" energy."

"damn, darby just feels his emotion with his entire face, doesnt he."

"okay explain the gambling thing and WHY it's a thing."

"orange rolling into the ring is so fucking good, that man is national treasure."

after me showing her the video of younger orange cassidy shitfaced and holding a fish for no reason: "i am shocked and appalled that you're only showing me this now."

after explaining the history of the jansport: "the range of this dumbass."

"i get that kenny is good and all, but his hair really fucks me up. it's upsettingly bad and i hope he knows that."

"pac is just. so much muscle. flippy beef man. a meateor." she did specify how to spell it for the joke because it was important.

"that man is a weeb, isnt he."

"something about a man breaking a hold by putting his hands in his pockets really gets me hype."

"fuck just murder omega and be done i hate this, put it on the beef man or the juicey boy already."

"babe, ill be right back i gotta murder this callis bitch."

screaming, "THAT'S MY FAVORITE REF, YOU UGLY FUCK!"

after kenny won: "i fucking hate wrestling, this is bullshit."

"holy fuck, babe, i forgot mark henry was a wrestle boy! i know him from the olympics!"

"hey, is mark henry bigger than large paul?"

"mjf is a dumb bitch and i love him."

"hey, quick question, who thought repelling down the stadium would look cool, they're so far away."

"there's wardlow, my sweet boy. this is cool now."

she laughed for a solid two minutes at tony schiavone saying, "here comes the little guy."

"i fuckin hate hager. kill him wardlow, kill that crispy maga ass bitch."

"okay what's with the chairs." *after a brief explanation of the chairshot heard round the world* "and, like, he can't just pick a new gimmick? it's been two years, bro. move on, shes not coming back."

"okay, i admit that this is great and i love it, kill that old man on the dancefloor."

upon learning this is technically the main event: "you mean it's over after this? theyre ending the show on THIS? not the triple threat match, this?"

"i just noticed mjf's bedazzled jeans, i'm not angry anymore, this is perfect."

"no, more wardlow. gimme the beef."

"christ, sammy guevara is kinda incredible and i'm fuckin angry about it. why cant inner circle be just sammy and santana and ortiz, fuck the other two."

"no, shut up! i refuse to sing along to this! whats wrong with you?! this is a bad song!"