#jim from hr

[uniasus]

Jim drove until he couldn't. He pulled over to the side, jerking Barbara awake.

"My turn?" She mumbled.

"I'll drive."

Jim twisted to look at Jazz. She looked tired, but not newly awake.

"You two must have driven without stopping to get to us so fast. I'm more rested, and can follow a GPS."

Jim shared a look with his daughter, who shrugged. It would be a faster switch, and Jazz was right. They had driven through the night to hit Amity Park in the morning, and this was their second night in the car. They'd reach Gotham a little after dawn at this point.

"Okay."

Jim switched with Jazz. He watched her untangling herself from expertly packed go bags, lifting Danny's head from her lap. When Jim took her position, he also turned himself into a pillow.

It was hard to see the full extent of the bandages wrapped around Danny's torso in the 2am light, but he had watched Jazz dress what looked like a ray gun injury in the rear view mirror.

He had a lot of questions, but they could be for after he spent a night on a bed.

Jazz pulled the car back onto the road, softly talking with Barbara.

"I'm usually up late anyway," Barbara said, opening her laptop and quickly lowering the glow. It's a miracle car work doesn't give her motion sickness or a migraine. It's a different type of miracle he doesn't want to think about knowing she's had undisturbed network on a road trip.

"Danny too, though this is about his bed time," Jazz whispered back.

Jim placed one hand on Danny's chest to feel his chest rise, slower than he'd like, and the other on Danny's hair, soft but thin.

He was so, so glad he'd gotten them out of Amity Park. So glad he knew something had happened. He expected a call tomorrow night from Batman. Maybe a visit. But tonight, as he drifted off to the sound of his daughter and niece chatted, he dreamt of how they could modify the guest room. Maybe block off part of the basement.

Danny and Jazz weren't going back. They could handle the legal stuff later.

Jazz's parents have gotten worse, their passion has turned into an obsession. Her parents don't even know that they are hunting their son every day. Jazz makes a tough call and rings up her uncle-in-law whom she has not had contact with in years.

Commissioner Gordon was not expecting to get a phone call at three in the morning; especially not from an estranged niece that he had seen a handful of times. The last time he seen that side of the family was before his wife had died.

Now he's driving halfway across the country with a confused daughter to meet up with the said estranged family.

[sporesmoldandfungi]

The List - Jim Halpert x F!Reader Smut

A/N : This is an AU where Pam marries Roy and leaves Scranton. Reader takes over her position as receptionist. This is loosely inspired off the PDA episode from Season 7. I pictured S2-S3 Jim when I wrote this.

Working a dead end office job had its perks. Very few, but there were some to name. Being able to sneakily play solitaire throughout the day. The fun albeit ridiculous parties thrown by Michael. But by far the best thing about working in reception at Dundler Mifflin was Jim Halpert.

His desk being merely a few feet away from yours gave you every opportunity to sneak glances at the handsome salesman. Out of all the hobbies you had, sneakily eye fucking Jim Halpert was your favorite one. You loved the way his arms flexed whenever he leaned back in his chair. The way his head gently tilted back, revealing his neck and small stubble. The way his floppy brown hair swooped over his forehead, perfectly framing his face. But he was Jim, and you were you.

You and Jim were complete opposites. He was a natural leader, taking charge of the office whenever Michael was out. He was charming, friendly, funny, kind, you could go on and on. He was so much, so much and you felt little in comparison.

You’d only been working at Dunder Mifflin for a few months, taking over once the previous receptionist tied the knot with a certain warehouse worker. You had kept to yourself mostly, still trying to get a read on everyone. When you first started, you’d sworn Jim was stealing glances at you, making you all the more hopeful he would come to his senses and be with you. After that, you two had become inseparable. Being partners in crime, confidantes, friends. You prayed it would turn in to something more. It was only when Phylis revealed that Jim used to harbor a crush on the previous receptionist and was mostly likely staring at you out of habit, did your hopes crush.

After that, you two rarely spoke, only when about work related things. You didn’t sit together in conference meetings anymore, silently laughing to each other at Michael’s ridiculousness. You didn’t eat lunch together anymore, letting Jim pick off your plate while he let you sip on his grape soda. It was almost like you were strangers.

So, when Michael called another needless conference meeting, you thought nothing of it. You filed into the room, following the long train of people. The seats quickly filled, leaving only one open next to him, next to Jim. You swallowed hard and quietly sat next to you, smoothing out the material of your black skirt. He offered you a polite smile.

That bastard. You thought to yourself.

You gave one back, a litter faker than his but still with nice undertones. You both looked ahead as Michael began rambling about PDA in the office. This caused Dwight to read aloud a list of everyone who had in some way done PDA in the office. He went down the long list of people, the only two names he didn’t list were yours and Jim’s.

Jim nudged your shoulder, making you turn away from the unfolding scene. He gave you a look of disbelief and shook his head in amazement, a quiet chuckle leaving his lips. You involuntarily smiled back, shaking your head along with him. So easily, you fell back into your usual rhythm with him.

He leaned over, speaking in a voice only you could hear. “Are you seeing this? Or am I dreaming?”

“Not a dream, Halpert. Unless you want me to pinch you.” you joked, moving your fingers in a pinching motion in front of his face.

He laughed and pushed your hands away gently. “Man, out of all the inappropriate things that has happened in this room, this meeting takes the cake.”

“I wouldn’t be to sure about that. From the sound of it, everyone else has done it in here already.” You joked, earning a disgusted looking face out of him.

You laughed at his stupid expression. Damn it, why is it so easy to like Jim Halpert? Why can’t he be more of a jerk?

Toby quickly ended the meeting before any more HR violations could be made. The rest of the office quickly left the room and went back to their desks. Michael and Dwight went into his office, no doubt trying to hatch some plan to fight back against PDA.

You rose from your seat next to Jim’s and smiled at him. He stood next to you, practically towering over you. He returned your smile and looked down at you softly. “I’ve missed you, Y/N. Where’ve you been?”

You felt the guilt rush into your system at the vulnerability in his face. You shrugged and honestly said to him, “I don’t know.”

He nudged your shoulder softly and gave you a more friendly smile. “Well, don’t do it again. As your superior, that’s an order.” He said, waving his finger in front of your face with fake authority.

“Aye, aye captain.” you responded, fake saluting him.

You shared a quiet laugh before following the train of people out the door, both of you returning to your respective desks.

The rest of the day was somewhat normal compared to previous. You and Jim ate together at lunch again. You didn’t realize how much you missed the taste of grape soda until you snuck a few sips from his can again. He frequently came up to reception, snacking on the candies as you two caught up with each other.

It was nearing four o’clock when he came back up to your desk. Leaning down, popping a M&M in his mouth, watching you type a memo for Michael.

“I still can’t believe it.” he said, breaking the silence.

You paused your typing and looked up into his hazel eyes. “Believe what?”

“That everyone has been getting it on in here. It’s disgusting!” He joked, popping another candy into his mouth.

You shrugged, “I don’t know, I kinda get it.”

He looked shocked and shook his head. “What do you mean? Why would anyone wanna hook up in the office?”

“Well, it’s kinda erotic. Sitting at a desk, knowing that no one else knows what you’ve done it. Well, except for you and him. I get the appeal.” you said, a blush creeping up to your cheeks.

Jim smirked and looked at you in disbelief, “Man, I didn’t know you had such a dirty side to you, Y/N.”

You leaned forward, close enough to him that you could smell his cologne fan off his skin. Newfound confidence and boldness grew in you as you spoke, “Well, there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Halpert.”

His smirk faltered for a moment, surprised at the sudden shift in the conversation. He regained it quickly, moving in closer, his lips hovering inches above yours. “You’ll have to show me sometime.”

And with that, he popped another candy in his mouth, stuck his hands in the front pockets of his slacks and walked back to his desk.

You sat there in shock for a brief moment. What the hell was that? Where did that sudden confidence come from? And was Jim seriously flirting back? Maybe you were the one dreaming. You tried shaking it off, returning to typing the memo.

Before you could get two words in, you see an IM pop up on your screen. It was from Jim. You looked over your desk to see that he looked normal, drumming his fingers against his desk as he worked. You took a breath before opening it.

Jim : You look a little red over there, something on your mind?

Your eyes reread the passage over and over, still sneaking glances at him when you could. He still sat in his chair, looking as bored as ever. Not at all like he was flirting with you over IM. You took a deep breath before replying.

Y/N : I’d bet you’d like to know.

You watched as Jim leaned forward, obviously reading the message. He looked over to you, catching you in the act of staring at him. He smirked when he saw the pink flutter back up your cheeks. You watched as he quickly typed a response, the message appearing on your desktop within seconds.

Jim : Pretend there’s something wrong with your computer.

You looked confused. What the hell does that have to do with anything? You looked over at him and he just nodded, leaning back in his chair slightly. You took a deep breath and groaned loud enough to get the attention of a couple of people.

“Damn it!” You mumbled, pretending to struggle with a loose wire behind the monitor.

Jim stood up, casually walking over. “What’s up?” He said, loud enough for others to hear.

Once they saw he was helping with whatever problem your computer was having, anyone who saw the interaction went back their work, leaving you two in silence.

“I-“ you said, trying to think of a lie.

He leaned close down and whispered a fake lie for you to say in your ear. You repeated it loudly, playing along with whatever game he was playing.

“Well, I could probably fix that for you. But I’ll need to check under your desk. Mind if I poke around down there?” He asked.

You reluctantly nodded, still having no idea what he was up to. You watched as he smirked, walking around the desk and meeting your side. He slowly sunk on the ground, his body now covered by the large desk. You looked down and watched as he settled in between your legs, no where near the computer he claimed to be fixing. You opened your mouth to ask him what the hell he was doing, but was cut off with a gasp at the feeling of his hands slowly traveling up your legs.

You quickly covered up the sound with a cough, averting any attention it may have gotten. Once you finished, you leaned down, ducking your head low so you could talk to Jim without anyone hearing.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” you whispered at him.

“Well, I’m simply fulfilling a request. You were the one who said having sex in the office was hot. I’m simply following orders, Y/N.” He said, smirking. The feeling of his hands traveling closer and closer to your thighs burned into your skin. You clenched them, refusing him entrance. He looked up at you and shook his head in disapproval. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way, Y/N. It’s your call.”

You weighed your options, looking down at the image of Jim, smirking between your legs. On one hand, you had dreamed of this day the second you laid eyes on him. On the other, this was not the place you imagined it happening. The idea of him eating you out with everyone around, with anyone being able to spot it, made your stomach twist with delight. You looked down, seeing the impatient look on his face. You took a deep breath and parted your legs slowly for him.

“Good girl.” he whispered, his voice low and dripping with sex.

You almost let out a moan at the sound, but you bit your lip to suppress it. You sunk in your chair, hiding your face behind your monitor trying to relish the feeling of his hands going up your skirt. Your eyes fluttered close as you felt his index finger trace the outline of your panties. You were almost certain he could see the damp spot forming on them, getting wetter with each touch. His finger just about went under the waistband, but the phone rang, interrupting it. You looked down at him with wide eyes, silently asking him what to do.

“Answer it.” he ordered, looking up at you with hooded eyes.

You nodded and breathed a sigh of relief when you felt his hand leave the threshold of your panties.

“Dunder Mifflin, this is-“

Your words cut off in your throat as you feel Jim’s lips place a chaste kiss to your clothed pussy. You jerked in your seat, your knees hitting the desk as you reacted to the feeling. You feel him smirk against your panties as you try to find the words again.

You clear your throat before speaking, “Dunder Mifflin, this is Y/N.”

The sound of the person on the other line merely go in ear and out the other. Your mind is only focused on the feeling of Jim’s tongue, licking a long stripe up your clothed heat. You try your hardest to focus on the words going in your ear, and push back the feelings of pleasure Jim was giving you. You were almost succeeding until you feel his index finger slide under the side of your panties and tease your hole, covering itself in your arousal. If that wasn’t enough, his words made it impossible to hear a single word coming from the phone.

“Jesus, you’re fucking soaked. I haven’t even done anything yet.” he said.

You let out a small whine at his words. Quickly trying to salvage the noise as it leaves your lips, you cough loudly. Apologizing the to person on the phone, you continue speaking, your voice wavering as Jim continues teasing you, his finger just covering itself in your dripping pussy.

As the man on the phone starts to ramble about prices, you have to bite your hand to repel the moan that’s about to leave your mouth as you feel Jim shove his fingers into your tight hole, curling upward as he does.

As you make ‘mhm’s and ‘uhuh’s at the man’s words, you squeeze around Jim’s fingers. You take a quick glance down, locking eyes with Jim as he pumps his fingers in and out of you at an agonizing pace. You pout your bottom lip, silently begging him to speed up. He smirks and mimics your pout, enjoying the needy look on your face.

“So, do you think you guys can cut me a deal?” the man on the phone asks.

You open your mouth speak and cry out as you feel Jim increase his speed immensely, his thumb toying with your swollen clit as he does.

“Yes!” you moan into the phone, earning to strange glances from your coworkers. You struggle to compose yourself, fighting urge to scream your head off in pleasure. “Y-Yes. We can.”

“You’re so fucking tight, I can feel you gripping my fucking fingers.” Jim say quietly, kissing your thigh.

The man on the phone asks to be transferred to sales, surprisingly sold on purchasing paper from you, despite the strange phone call. You frantically type in someone’s extension, saying a quick goodbye before hanging up the phone. Using your free hand, you use it to grip Jim’s hair, your fingers tangling themselves in his brown locks. You hear him moan at the feeling, his lips sending vibrations against your thigh. You feel the coil in your stomach tighten more and more, threatening to snap at any second. Your hand digs into Jim’s hair tighter, feeling like if you let go of him, you’ll lose this feeling.

“Jesus, are you already gonna cum?” He groans, looking up at you from your thighs.

You sneak a glance at him and nod fervently, afraid to answer him without moaning.

He groans quietly in response, ducking his head down once more. His fingers increase in speed and go deeper if that was even possible. You feel them graze against your g-spot, making your head roll back in response, your eyes screwing shut.

You chase the feeling of your climax, feeling it approaching closer and closer. As if he can read your mind, Jim pulls aside your panties more, granting his mouth access to your pussy. He removes his thumb on your clit and replaces it with his mouth, licking and sucking on the swollen nub. You don’t even have to warn him, you feel yourself cumming before you know it. Your pussy squeezes around his fingers as he helps you ride out your orgasm. It washes over you like a tidal wave. It takes all your strength and willpower to not let out the almost pornographic moan threatening to leave your lips.

You sit in your chair, breathless and dripping. You feel his fingers leave your entrance, whining quietly at the feeling. He takes a long lick up your pussy, licking up the mess you made. He gently fixes your panties and skirt before rising. Your cum glistening on his chin, dripping down his jaw. He sits up, wiping his mouth before casually saying, “Should be working a lot better now.”

You watch in disbelief as he walks back to his desk. It takes you a few moments to compose yourself, but once you do, you only have one thought on your mind.

You’re now determined to return the favor.

[linkcharacter]

I feel like many people are too focused on what Curly could've 'done' instead of what he 'thought' about it, how he saw and processed it in his head. As I see it, the point isn't that he did nothing, it's that he keeps shoving away and downplaying Jimmy's bullshit in his perception, which would then lead to inaction from Curly's side. That if he could've, we don't know if he would've. Action is very much needed in cases like Anya's, though it wouldn't make things better in the Tulpar situation, BUT that's just the horror of it and it doesn't remove Curly's faults outside of that. The point is that Curly is human and isn't exempt from trying to avoid the issue at hand in his head because of who he is as a person and the environment they're in, the condition Curly's in. He knows it's BAD with Jimmy, yet due to either or both, prolonged conditioning of their toxic friendship and Curly's stunted mental state, it doesn't click in his head properly.

If Anya didn't end up pregnant, if Jimmy didn't crash the ship, would Curly have seriously contemplated about Jimmy or rethought their friendship after finding out he's a rapist? Would anything have changed between them? I would imagine if Curly want half-delirious half-conscious and not going through an existential crisis, then I would give it a very stretched "maybe", and it still would've taken time to detach yourself from a close friend (with possible emotional abuse benefits). But we don't know what COULD'VE been, we just know he DIDN'T. And that is behavior of an enabler, not ill-willed or inconsiderate, but it's human to be afraid of change and be attached. Still ended in upkeeping his friend's harmful behaviors, not due to lack of wanting him to change but that's just how things are. It's realistic, there's no inherent 'morality' attached to Curly's actions, they were simply actions, what matters is the result. Good intentions don't mean much in face of a horrific outcome.

Would Curly keep attempting to give Jimmy help to be better, in vain like he was suggested to have done before? Very possible. "We said tomorrow will be different. Today would be the last day."

Would Curly report Jimmy to the authorities if he could? We don't know (I'm leaning towards a no though). It's not a bad thing to want your friends to be better and believe in them, nor do I think cutting them off is always the best course of action. Rehabilitation is a good thing (though we don't know exactly how Curly tried to help Jim) and having a support system as friends can make it more effective especially if it's a person struggling financially and mentally in life like Jimmy. Yet Jimmy still has to take accountability and be handled in a proper manner for what he did, not just be let go off the hook, only hoping he will improve like Curly does. At some point Curly had to stop making Jimmy's actions his responsibility but never did, until the end.

The conditions of the Tulpar themselves are very lackluster, the system is unfair and harsh with what we know about Mouthwashing's world. The companies are uncaring and scummy as they are in real life, Pony Express especially being cheap and has no regard for the safety and well being of their employees. It all creates a systematic environment for the worst human traits to fester in unchecked, no one single individual could've "fixed it".

So realistically I don't see much that could've been done in the environment they were in and no matter what Curly did, the outcome would never be good. In any course of action Curly could've gone with, the situation isn't changing, Anya was assaulted, Jimmy is the Co-pilot, the duration of the flight is more than the pregnancy term, conflict within the crew will be punished financially by the HR, they were fired. It's horrible and irreparable no matter what. That is the situation.

But

Curly still downplayed it, that's the point. It's not about the potential actions we imagine he could've taken, it's about all the things he didn't take into account and lacked proper judgement towards his friend, which ended up festering a destructive parasite called Jimmy.

Not to mention that Mouthwashing is such a multifaceted game in terms of its themes, it cannot be defined by ONLY this one Curly idea. There's so much more to the story.

[robinonawire]

First kiss (again)

Wilson: You kissed me.

House: Correct. Keep going, this is fun.

Wilson: You kissed me, in your office, mid-argument, during work hours—

House: Look at you, listing off all the ways it was perfect.

Wilson: You kissed me like it was a punctuation mark!

House: An em dash. Dramatic. Unexpected. Linguistically sexy.

Wilson: I—I don’t even like you right now!

House: That’s never stopped you before.

Wilson: I'm in a relationship!

House: Not a good one.

Wilson: You don’t know that!

House: She calls you "Jim." That’s not love. That’s HR-approved detachment.

Wilson:

Wilson: I need air. I need—I need like eight years of therapy in reverse.

House: I can book us a couples’ retreat. How do you feel about goat yoga and emotional hostage-taking?

Wilson: You are a plague in human form.

House: A kissable plague.

*Cuddy walks in.*

Cuddy: House, why are there twenty medical students loitering in the hallway—

Cuddy:

Cuddy: Why is Wilson hyperventilating?

House: Science.

Wilson: I have to go. I have to—I don’t know—jump into a lake or something.

House: Wear a white shirt when you do. For science.

Cuddy: What did you do?

House: Nothing illegal. This time. Probably.

Cuddy: I swear to God—

House: He kissed me back!

Wilson, from down the hall: STOP TELLING PEOPLE!

[cubbihue]

Do Sanderson and Timmy have a similar office relationship to Jim and Dwight from The Office?

Pretty much! Timmy likes pranking Sanderson on occasion, and seeing how far he can push Sanderson until HR gets involved. Sanderson is pretty tolerate all things considering... Although there is a limit until he shoots back with his own form of torture (HP lectures).

Timmy tries his best not to cross that line.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[wandascosmic]

standing by (6)

wanda maximoff x fem!reader

part six of 'you belong with me' series

summary: basically a wanda series inspired by jim and pam from the office

word count: 4292

tags: best friends to lovers, very very special and cute friendship, reader pining after wanda, oblivious wanda it's almost laughable, believed to be unrequited love, toxic vision (unsurprisingly), honestly might be my favorite part i've written so far, also maybe perhaps some jealous wanda >: ), and the pranks are back!!

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9

“Tony,” Wanda knocks on Tony’s office door. “There’s a girl outside who wants to sell handbags.” 

“Kick her out,” Tony responds, barely looking up from his magazine. “No vendors in the office.” 

“Okay, but I told her you’d talk to her at least–” 

“No, Wanda. I’m busy,” Tony cuts her off, putting his feet up on his desk. “Just tell her to go away.” 

Wanda nods, starting to head out the door. 

Once Wanda exits the room, curiosity gets the better of Tony, and he decides to try and see what the person looks like through the window. His mouth parts once he sees that she’s actually rather beautiful. 

“Why didn’t she tell me she was hot,” Tony mutters as he gets up to go and talk to the vendor girl. 

***

You watch in suspicion as Tony smooths his hair back, accompanied by the noticeable bright grin on his face. You follow his gaze all the way to the new girl who came in a few minutes ago, and your mouth forms an ‘o’ shape in realization. 

“Hi, there,” Tony says, making the purse girl turn around and face him. “I’m Tony.” He holds out his hand for her to shake. 

“Valkyrie,” she introduces herself back with a smile. 

“Wow, look at you,” Tony guffaws, clearly checking her out. “You’re, uh, you’re like the new and improved Wanda.” 

Your eyes widen in shock as you and Wanda make eye contact with each other. 

“Um, thank you?” Valkyrie questions. 

“You’re welcome.” Tony grins. “So listen, I usually don’t allow solicitors in the office, but for you, I think we’ll make an exception.” 

Tony was awful at flirting, you quickly realized. 

“Well, thank you very much.” Valkyrie nods politely. 

“Don’t worry about it. But hey, maybe you can make it up to me later with dinner and a movie maybe?” he suggests with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

You snort at his forwardness. 

“Uh–” 

“Anyways, think about it.” He pats her on the shoulder. “So, Valkyrie, you can use the conference room for the day.” He points in the direction of the aforementioned room. “And, I’ll check up on you in an hour or so to make sure you’re settling in. Sound good?” 

“Yes, that would be great, thank you,” Valkyrie responds. 

“Alright, let’s get you settled in then.” He grins, leading her in the right direction. 

Once they’re both out of sight, you go up to talk to Wanda. 

“Ten bucks he ignores all his work for the day to go and flirt with her,” you bet the receptionist, popping a candy from the dish on her desk into your mouth and leaning onto your elbows. 

“Ten bucks he moves the HR staff who are supposed to have a meeting in there into the hallway,” she responds with a smile. 

“Oh, you’re so on, Maximoff.” 

***

“So, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask,” Tony tells Valkyrie, helping her put her bags in place. 

“Well, I guess a cup of coffee would be nice,” Valkyrie answers back politely. 

“Oh! I knew it! I knew I should’ve spotted another addict.” Tony laughs. 

Valkyrie’s brows furrow in confusion. “I’m sorry?” 

“You know, those Dunkin’ Donuts coffee addicts? Man, gotta love it,” he sighs. 

“Regular coffee is fine, honestly,” Valkyrie assures, feeling awkward.

No, no, it’s not,” Tony shakes his head. “Damn it, too bad we don’t have the good stuff here.” 

“No, really, it is,” Valkyrie says. 

“Are you sure?” Tony asks. “‘Cause, you know I could go out to get some for you it’s only like a 30-minute drive–” 

“Really, it’s alright,” Valkyrie cuts off with a small laugh.

“Alright, great!” Tony says, about to head out the door. “I’ll just head on over to the coffee machine in the kitchen, then. Hey, do you want high test or unleaded?” 

“Um, high test?”  

“All right!” Tony says with a grin as he leaves her alone. 

Valkyrie sighs in relief once Tony’s gone. 

***

“So, are you jealous ‘cause there’s another girl around?” Thor asks Wanda as he staples his documents together behind her. 

“No, not really,” Wanda responds absentmindedly, typing on her computer. 

“Are you sure?” ‘Cause she’s prettier than you,” Thor replies with a shrug. 

Wanda pauses. “That’s a very rude thing to say, Thor,” she says slowly. 

You almost laugh at the idea that anyone could ever come near Wanda’s beauty. 

Thor purses his lips and nods, leaving Wanda alone. 

You figure that now is a good time to give Wanda the banana bread you had gotten her this morning after Thor’s comment. Grabbing the dessert from your bag, you walk up to her desk with a small smile on your face.  

“So, what did Thor want?” you ask, knowing the answer already since Thor was anything but soft-spoken. Plus, your desk was only a couple of feet away from hers. 

Wanda scoffs. “Apparently I should be jealous of the purse girl because she spices up the office more than I do.” 

“And are you jealous?” 

“What? No! Of course not.” 

You laugh. “Yeah right, Maximoff. I can see the crinkle you get when you’re upset about something.” 

“I do not have a crinkle.” Wanda leans back and crosses her arms with a pout. 

Your eyes soften at how cute she looks. 

“Fine,” you back down. “But anyways, if you are upset, I did get you something.”

Wanda’s head perks up in curiosity. “What did you get me?” 

You place the white paper bag on her desk. “I may have stopped by that cafe you like this morning and gotten you your favorite dessert.” 

Wanda sits up slightly, peeking into the bag. Once she sees the delectable banana bread she loves so much, a wide smile breaks out on her face. 

“Thank you,” she says softly. 

“Anytime,” you respond, giving her a small wink as you turn around to walk back to your desk. “And by the way.” You stop to look back at her. “No one could ever match how beautiful you are.” You give her a comforting smile before heading back. 

Wanda bites her lip slightly as she watches you get back to work. 

***

“Hey, I’ve got an idea.” Tony knocks on the conference room door to get Valkyrie’s attention. 

“What’s that?” Valkyrie asks, reorganizing the purses slightly on the table. 

“Why don’t I introduce you around? You know, you can kind of get your foot in the door, meet potential clients, stuff like that? Come on.” Tony grabs Valkyrie’s hand as he starts to lead her out of the room. 

“Um, I would love to, but I really shouldn’t leave my purses alone-” 

“Oh! No problem, we can get Peter to watch them. Peter!” Tony calls for the intern. 

“Yes, Mr. Stark?” Peter calls back from the kitchen. 

“Will you watch the purses in the conference room please?” Tony says. 

“Oh, yeah, yeah, of course, no problem!” Peter replies, already sprinting out of the kitchen to go watch the purses. 

“Good kid,” Tony says to Valkyrie who nods in response. “You know, you should sell a lot here.” He says as he leads her through the various areas of the office. “This branch actually made over a million dollars last year.” 

“Wow, that’s impressive,” Valkyrie answers, waving at the people the two of them pass by. 

“Yeah, I know,” Tony brags. “Not that we’re all millionaires though, you know. I’m probably the closest so.” He chuckles.  

“Oh, cool,” Valkyrie replies, feeling slightly uncomfortable. 

“Yup, that’s what we do here at Shield Industries. Oh, here’s Bruce!” Tony introduces a brown-haired man who’s on a call in the break room. “What’s up, Bruce?” Tony punches Bruce’s arm playfully. 

“Tony, I’m on a phone call,” Bruce replies, putting the phone to his shoulder. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, man,” Tony responds, leading Valkyrie to another section of the office. 

***

“So, Y/N, what do you think of the purse girl?” Vision asks you, chewing a bit of his pizza. 

Wanda had invited you to eat lunch with her and Vision, and while you would rather do anything other than have a meal with the girl you were in love with and her fiance, you couldn’t say no to her no matter how hard you tried. 

“Cute, sure, yeah,” you responded, taking a bite of your sandwich. You had told Wanda about your sexuality two years after you had met her, and you assume that the word got out to Vision somehow. 

Little did you know it was because Tony overheard your confession in the break room and despite his lackluster demeanor 90% of the time, he was awful at keeping secrets. 

“Why don’t you get on that?” Vision suggests. 

“Mm, she’s not really my type,” you say, shaking your head and taking a sip of your water. 

“What, you’re not gay anymore?” 

“Vision!” Wanda slaps his arm in shock. “Sorry, Y/N,” she apologizes to you on his behalf. 

“It’s fine, Wanda,” you assure. “I don’t think so, no,” you respond to Vision’s question. 

“Well, what is your type then?” Thor asks from behind you, who had come in to grab his lunch from the fridge. 

You ponder for a moment. “Uh, moms…primarily. Soccer moms, single moms, NASCAR moms. Any type of mom, really.” 

“That’s disgusting,” Vision scoffs. 

“Stay away from my mom,” Thor says as he starts to leave the kitchen.

“Too late, Thor,” you respond, taking another sip of your water. 

Suddenly, you all hear the clack of heels approach, and the three of you turn your head to see Valkyrie walk past you all. 

Vision’s mouth parts slightly as he watches her exit the room. “Man, I would be all over that if I wasn’t dating Wanda,” he tells you, pointing at the doorway where Valkyrie just left. 

Wanda’s stomach drops. 

“Vision,” she states angrily, making him glance down at her. “We’re not dating, we’re engaged.” 

“Engaged, yeah,” he replies nonchalantly with a shrug. 

Wanda scoffs as she drops her fork into her food and storms out of the kitchen, slamming the door shut with a thud. 

Vision rolls his eyes as he takes another bite of his pizza. 

***

“She’d be perfect for you,” you tell Sam, the two of you observing Valkyrie through the conference room window. Truthfully, you didn’t believe an ounce of what you were feeding him. Wanda was still upset after what Vision had said earlier, so you were setting up a prank against Sam in hopes of making her feel better. 

“Mm, she’s been talking to Tony a lot,” Sam says bitterly as he crosses his arms together. 

“So what?” you say as you face him. “You’re assistant regional manager.” 

“Assistant to the regional manager,” Sam corrects you with a frown. 

“Well, you know what, Sam? Sometimes, you’ve just got to go for it. And by the way, Tony’s just your work boss, ok? He is not your relationship boss.” 

“That’s true,” Sam nods. 

“Plus, you have so much more in common with this girl than Tony does. You’re both, um, salesmen,” you point out. “I mean that’s something to talk about right there.” 

“True,” Sam’s eyes widen in realization. “Plus, I could talk to her about the origins of my last name!”

“It’s all gold,” you say, emphasizing your point with a wave of your hand. “But here’s the thing.” You beckon Sam closer with a finger. “Even if it goes horribly wrong, you just keep talking to her, alright? If you hit a stall, you have a perfect fallback.” 

“What’s that?” he asks. 

“You buy a purse,” you instruct. 

“I don’t want a purse, purses are for girls,” Sam says, recoiling slightly. 

“Sam, that’s not necessarily true.” You shake your head. 

Sam scoffs. 

“Do you read GQ?” you ask. 

“No,” he mutters, looking away. 

“That’s fine, I do. They’re like mini briefcases, alright? Lots of guys have ‘em.” 

“Really?” he asks incredulously. “Like those?” He points to the purses through the window. 

“Yes!” you confirm. 

“I don’t know..” 

“Listen,” you get his attention. “You are spending way too much time talking to me when you could be talking to her.” You point to Valkyrie over your shoulder. 

“Okay, fine,” Sam agrees, starting to stand up. “I’m just gonna use the bathroom then-” 

“No, you don’t need the bathroom, alright?” you cut him off, standing up as well. “You’ve got this, Sam. Go for it.” You shove him gently in the direction of the conference room. 

You watch him go in until he can no longer see you, and you smile as you run in the direction of Wanda’s desk. 

“Okay, shh, stop.” You run around Wanda’s desk, gently pulling the phone away from her ear and hanging up the call she’s on. Wanda looks up at you curiously. “Stop whatever you’re doing ‘cause this is gonna be good,” you say as you stand behind Wanda’s chair and swivel it around so she has a clear view of the conference room. 

“What did you do?” Wanda asks suspiciously, a smile starting to appear on her face. 

“You’ll see,” you whisper. 

Once you see Sam start to talk, you begin your imitation. “Hi, my name is Sam Wilson and I would like to buy a purse from you,” you mock in a high-pitched voice. “Good Lord, look at these purses! This is something special.” Wanda giggles. “Oh my God, is this Salvatore Daccini Pa….sta,” you say as you see Sam pick up a random purse. 

“Oh, definitely, definitely step in and out of it like that,” Wanda imitates Valkyrie as you both see Sam step in and out of the purse’s strap. 

“Yes, well I want to stress test it,” you continue your impression. “You know, in case anything happens.” 

Wanda smiles widely as she looks at you. 

“Oh!” you both remark, the two of you struggling to hold in your laughter as you see Sam smack the purse against the table. 

“That was really- this is necessary to do to really give it a good workout,” you say in your high-pitched voice. “This is the– ooh. This is the prettiest one of them all,” you mimic as you see Sam pick up another purse. “I’m gonna be the prettiest girl in the ball. Oh, how much?” you break as you finally start to laugh. 

“Oh, god, it’s sad, it’s so sad,” Wanda remarks with a shake of her head. 

“Yeah,” you say through your laughter. “Oh, here he comes,” you inform her as you see Sam slowly start to walk out of the conference room. 

He turns to give you a thumbs up and you give him one in response as well as mouthe some encouraging words. Sam smirks confidently as he struts back to his desk, the strap of his brand-new hung nicely over his shoulder. 

“He did pick a good one,” you tell Wanda with a smile as you look over to observe Sam’s new handbag. 

“You’re horrible,” Wanda giggles as she looks up at you. 

***

“So, how was that coffee from earlier?” Tony asks Valkyrie as he enters the conference room once more. 

“It was good,” she responds with a small smile. 

“Ah, I knew it,” Tony smirks. “I make the best coffee. Hey, can I show you something?” 

Valkyrie nods. 

“Great, I know you are gonna like this.” He starts to lead her towards his office. “Picked it up today for 1000 big ones.” 

He opens the door for her to enter. 

Valkyrie’s eyes widen as she sees the huge coffee machine set on Tony’s desk. “Um, Tony, you spent 1000 dollars on a new coffee machine just today?” 

“Yep,” he brags with a large grin. “They call it a Digital Barista. It’s the absolute best of the best of the espresso maker variety.” 

Valkyrie laughs awkwardly. “Wow, is that for the office?” 

“Oh, I know what you’re thinking.” Tony points a finger at her. “You’re not prying this out of my hands,” he jokes. “But hey, give it a shot and maybe I’ll give it to you.” 

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it,” Valkyrie answers with a shake of her head. Suddenly, she feels her phone buzz with a new message. Opening it, her brows furrow as she sees the content of the message that was sent. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” Tony asks, seeing her expression. 

Valkyrie looks up. “Oh, nothing, just, my ride bailed on me,” she says. 

“Oh, god! I’m so sorry,” Tony says rather passionately. “That sucks. Um, where you going? Nearby? Because I could give you a ride, you know?” 

“No, no, that’s ok, I don’t wanna inconvenience you and I can just take a Taxi–” 

“No, no, no, it’s not an inconvenience at all!” Tony cuts Valkyrie off. “I mean, I’m out of here at 5:00 sharp, and plus, I am the boss,” he says with his hand at the side of his mouth as if he were telling a secret. “I can go even earlier! Like, whatever, out of here…slaves.” He laughs. 

“Well, I guess that would be ok,” Valkyrie accepts unsurely. 

“Really?” Tony grins. “Well, awesome! 5:00 sharp, I will give you and your purses a ride home, sound good?” 

“Yeah, sounds great,” Valkyrie says as she leaves Tony’s office, grimacing slightly on her way out. 

***

“So did we get any mail?” Tony asks Wanda who sits across from him at his desk. 

“Yeah, I gave it to you,” she responds with a nod of her head. 

“Right, just checking. Just double checking,” Tony says. 

“So can I–” Wanda points to the door over her shoulder. 

“Oh, yeah,” Tony responds, letting her go. “Oh, wait, Wanda, one more thing,” he says as Wanda starts to get up out of her chair. 

Wanda pauses to hear his question. 

“How do girls your age feel about futons?” 

***

“A futon?” you ask Wanda who laughs as she leans against your desk. “Oh my god, he’s a grown man.” 

“That’s what he said,” she says, trying to stifle her laughter.

“That’s sad. That’s so sad,” you say, shaking your head and Wanda giggles. “Or it’s innovative. You know, the futon is a bed and couch all rolled into one.” You twirl your index fingers around each other to imitate a rolling motion. 

Unfortunately, your moment with the receptionist is soon interrupted as you look up to see Vision on his way to talk to Wanda. You sit up sharply, starting to type on your computer as you get back to work. 

“What’s up?” he greets her with his hands in his jacket pockets. 

“Hi,” she replies, keeping her eyes on the ground. 

“Are you still mad at me?” he asks wearily. 

“Vision…” she sighs. 

“Come on,” he says as he starts to tickle her abdomen. 

You bite the inside of your cheek.  

Wanda turns her upper body away slightly. “Cut it out,” she says. 

“Come on, are you mad at me?” he continues, starting to make Wanda jerk in various directions. 

“Stop it,” she responds, but giving in slightly as her voice becomes less stern. 

“Are you still mad at me?” he says in a loving voice. 

“Cut it out,” she replies, though a smile is beginning to appear on her face. 

“Are you mad at me now?” he teases, grinning as she starts to laugh fully. 

“Stop!” she says through her laughs. 

“Huh? Come on,” he continues, tickling her harder and making her giggle even more. “Come on, Wands,” he prompts playfully as she keeps laughing uncontrollably. 

“Stop, I can’t breathe!” Wanda musters out, still jerking around. 

You sigh as you get up from your chair, deciding it’s probably best to leave the couple alone. 

“I was just kidding! You know I didn’t mean it,” you hear him say with a smile. 

You put your hands in your pockets as Wanda continues to laugh with her fiance. 

***

You tap your foot anxiously on the floor, bored out of your mind since Wanda went out with Vision on her break. Swiveling around in your chair, you pause as you see Valkyrie on her own in the conference room. 

Maybe you should go and talk to her? 

You bite your lip slightly, deciding maybe it was time for you to make a new friend in the office. 

But no one could ever beat Wanda. 

Against your better judgement, you decide it might be fun to go and talk to her. Taking a deep breath, you stand up from your chair and head in her direction. 

You knock on the door, making Valkyrie look up at you. 

“Hi,” you say, entering the room with a smile. 

“Hi,” Valkyrie responds, matching your tone. 

“I’m Y/N, by the way,” you hold out your hand for her to shake. 

“I’m Valkyrie,” she nods, shaking your outstretched hand. 

“Hi, Valkyrie, nice to meet you,” you say in a friendly manner. 

“Yeah, you too. You sit out there don’t you?” Valkyrie points to your desk through the window. 

“Yes, I do. That’s what I’m best known for,” you joke slightly, making her let out a small laugh. “Alright, let’s talk about purses then.” You drum your fingers on the table in front of you. 

“Okay, um..” She starts to point at the purses on the table. 

“Oh, wait, Valkyrie, but you know what?” you interrupt, causing her to look up at you. “Don’t try to sell me one. Okay, seriously? ‘Cause I’m just here to learn,” you say earnestly before a small smirk breaks out on your face.

“Okay,” Valkyrie nods with a laugh. 

“So, I know about most of these, but..” 

***

“What’s up?” you ask Wanda who leans against your desk. 

“I’m bored,” Wanda responds, giving you a grin. 

“Thank you for choosing me,” you reply amusingly as she laughs. 

“No, I’m kidding,” Wanda says. “So, have you got any plans this weekend?” 

“Uh, well, I think I’m gonna see Valkyrie,” you respond, shrugging your shoulders. 

Wanda’s smile falters slightly. 

“Really?” she asks. 

“Yeah,” you confirm. 

“What are you guys gonna do?” 

“Oh, man, I don’t know,” you sigh. “Uh, dinner, drinks, movie, matching tattoos…” you say the last one with a cheeky smile. 

Wanda chuckles at your joke. 

“Well, that’s great,” she nods, unsure of what the uncomfortable feeling in her chest might be. 

“Yeah, big stuff,” you agree, swiveling around slightly in your chair and pausing for a moment. “What are you up to this weekend?” 

“Oh, um,” Wanda ponders a bit. “I think we’re gonna help Vis’ cousin move.” 

“Okay,” you nod. 

“‘Cause Vis has a truck,” she finishes. 

“That’s cool, that’s really cool, Wanda,” you tell her. 

“Uh-huh. Yes,” Wanda says, suddenly feeling very awkward. 

“But I’ll see you Monday, though, right?” you ask, drumming your fingers at your side. 

“Yeah, uh, you know what? I think I’m gonna head back now,” Wanda says as she stands up, pointing to her desk over her shoulder. 

“Oh, okay. No problem,” you respond with a small smile. 

Wanda nods, turning around and heading back to her workplace. 

Sitting back down, she sighs as she tries to decipher what the uneasy feeling within her might be. 

***

 “Good night, Y/N,” Tony says as he walks next to you and Valkyrie in the parking lot. 

“Good night Tony,” you reply, tossing your car keys up and down. 

“Where you headed?” he asks you. 

“I don’t know, probably grab a drink, I think,” you answer, pointing towards you and Valkyrie. 

“With us?” Tony inquires, stopping in his place as his brows furrow in confusion. 

“Oh shoot, I, um, I probably should have told you. But I don’t need a ride now ‘cause Y/N can take me home after,” Valkyrie tells Tony with an apologetic look.  

“Oh, okay, great,” Tony replies, but you can tell that he feels a bit dejected. 

“Yeah, um, I’m sorry, Tony,” you apologize. 

“No, no worries.” He shakes his head. “Hope you have fun, you two,” he says trying to hide his disappointment. 

Tony starts to turn away, and you frown as you watch his dejected posture. 

“Have a good night, Tony!” you call out, checking to make sure he’s ok. 

“Yeah, you too!” he calls back, though you hear a hint of frustration in his voice.  

“Do you think he’ll be alright?” Valkyrie asks at your side. 

“Yeah, I hope so. If he’s still sad by Monday, I’ll bake him some cupcakes or something,” you respond, grabbing her bags and nodding your head in the direction of your car. 

You start to lead the two of you to your vehicle. “Wow, a baker, huh?” Valkyrie inquires with a smile as she follows your step. 

“Well, I got a lot of free time on my hands,” you respond, opening up your trunk and placing her bags in after moving a couple of your things. 

You don’t notice Vision’s car pull up behind you with Wanda in the passenger seat, immediately sitting up straight as she watches you curiously through the window. 

“All right, I’m gonna warn you. Don’t freak out, okay?” you say to the girl next to you as you shut the trunk. 

“Why?” Valkyrie inquires with a tilt of her head. 

“Well, this is a really nice car,” you say as you walk backward, leading Valkyrie toward the passenger side of your sedan. “In case you haven’t noticed, this is a Corolla, okay?” 

“It’s a very nice car,” Valkyrie compliments with a small laugh. 

Wanda’s sure she wants to slap Valkyrie across the face. 

“So you’re not gonna freak out?” you ask, opening the door for Valkyrie to enter. 

Valkyrie shakes her head with a smile as she sits down in your red vehicle. 

Vision starts to drive away, and Wanda continues to watch the two of you until you disappear from her sight. 

part 7

[riddlesrizzler]

Copy That, Cupcake

summary: "WizQuill this is..." characters: jim halpert! mattheo. pam beesley! reader. dwight schrute! draco. warnings: none! word count: 723

The morning sunlight spilled through the dusty windows of WizQuill, catching on the floating dust motes that danced lazily through the stagnant air of the office. The front desk, your throne and prison, was cluttered with scribbled memos, ink bottles that never stayed full, and a slowly dying cactus you’d named Frank. You sat slouched in your chair, idly doodling a dragon in a party hat on the edge of a memo about quarterly parchment sales.

The door creaked open - same time every day, same lazy saunter - and you didn’t bother looking up.

“You’re late,” you called, twirling your quill between your fingers.

Mattheo Riddle’s familiar voice echoed with faux shock. “Late? Never. Time simply waits for me.”

You looked up then, already fighting a smile. He was leaning against the edge of your desk, hair tousled in a way that definitely wasn't accidental, a coffee cup held out like a peace offering. His eyes —-warm brown with just a hint of mischief - scanned your face for a reaction.

You took the cup and sniffed it suspiciously. “This is from Cups & Beans. The Muggle café?”

He gave a one-shouldered shrug. “I have my sources. You like the caramel one, right? With extra foam?”

Your cheeks warmed slightly as you sipped. “You're playing a dangerous game, Riddle. If Draco catches you bringing Muggle drinks into the office again, he might combust.”

As if summoned by name, Draco Malfoy came storming out of the copy room, clutching two scrolls and a half-eaten protein bar. His platinum hair was slightly askew - a sure sign something had gone terribly wrong.

“Riddle,” he barked. “Did you-” He paused, eyes narrowing. “Did you hex the filing cabinet to scream every time I opened it?”

Mattheo blinked. “Scream? No. Maybe sing a little. A cheerful jingle.”

You snorted into your coffee as Draco turned an alarming shade of pink. “Fix it. Now. Or I’m filing an official complaint with HR.”

“We are HR,” Mattheo said calmly.

Draco blinked. “…I’ll go over your head.”

“To who? The owls?”

Before Draco could retort, a distant wail echoed from the copy room. He spun on his heel and disappeared back down the corridor, cape billowing dramatically behind him.

Mattheo turned to you, smirk firmly in place. “He didn’t even see the glitter hex in the ink pot yet.”

You chuckled, trying to hide the way your heart fluttered around him. “He’ll find it. He always does. And he always thinks it's cursed.”

Mattheo leaned in, his voice low and conspiratorial. “That’s why this is your best idea yet.”

You reached under the desk and handed him a neatly rolled scroll. “Phase two.”

He unrolled it and laughed under his breath - a warm, rich sound that made your stomach flip.

Inside was a forged memo printed in official WizQuill font, complete with magical watermark, declaring Draco Malfoy the newly promoted Regional Auror Liaison for Magical Quill Security - a title you invented while half-asleep yesterday, fueled by coffee and boredom.

“He has to test every quill in the building for curses now,” you said, lips twitching. “It’s in the memo.”

Mattheo clutched his chest like he’d been hit with a stunning spell. “This... is art.”

He turned the parchment in his hands, admiring your work. “You’re wasted behind a desk.”

You looked at him - really looked. His messy curls, the way his tie was always a little too loose, like he couldn’t quite conform to the office dress code. The soft scruff on his jaw he never quite remembered to shave. He was always a little chaotic, a little off-center - but with you, he was golden.

“You say that like you're not stuck here too,” you teased.

He glanced down, suddenly more serious. “Maybe I like being stuck here.”

You blinked. “Why?”

His voice softened. “Because you’re here.”

The moment hung in the air, delicate and unspoken, until-

“WHO HEXED MY INKWELL?” Draco’s shriek echoed from down the hall.

Mattheo grinned, but his eyes stayed on you. “We should probably run.”

You laughed and grabbed your coffee. “Meet me in the breakroom. I’ve got a decoy memo and an emergency stash of chocolate frogs.”

He saluted. “Copy that, cupcake.”

And just like that, he was gone - but your heart was still racing, and you were pretty sure he knew exactly what he was doing.

[lexirosewrites]

Part 4 of ?

Party dynamics r as follows: A!Hopper, B!Joyce, A!Nancy, B!Jonathan, O!Steve, A!Robin, A!Argyle, B!Eleven, A!Mike, O!Will, B!Dustin, A!Lucas, O!Max, & A!Eddie... B!Murray is present somewhere in Hawkins probably doing his best to clue the cool parents in on what's been happening since 1983 but who knows

...

Everyone was talking all at once, asking questions at the same time, and Hopper felt like his ears were ringing. He is the oldest alpha in their little makeshift pack. Therefore he is The Alpha of their pack. Jim Hopper took in the pandemonium around him and promptly stepped outside whilst everyone else devolved into arguments & demands for El to now find Robin, Nancy quickly joined him.

Steve was the oldest of three omegas in the pack & after the events in '84 he'd become The Omega of their pack. More than tht, Steve was a kid Jim had known for nearly over a decade. He was a son to Hopper in the ways tht mattered. He didn't blame Robin for her reaction or her foiled attempt to rip at him w her own alpha fangs, no. He hadn't even tried commanding her back. Because he would've done the same if he could, because he blamed himself just as much.

She'd calmed down once Dustin shoved a yellow sweatshirt over her head, one tht belonged to Steve. Then after a half hr of silently watching them all theorize then plan uselessly she'd stepped outside & Hopper had given her space. But now Robin is gone.

Lucas joined them.

"She's been gone awhile." The older alpha spoke aloud while the younger two scented the air.

"Her scent is faint, you're right." Nancy conceded after a moment, but Lucas kept his nose up. The injury caused by Jason Carver making his sense of smell just a touch duller while his nose healed.

"I think I can pick up on a vague direction." The youngest alpha supplied to their stilted conversation before pointing. At this Nancy suddenly chirped as the light of a deduction entered her eyes.

"She's trying to track Steve." The eldest of the 3 alphas said before Nancy could.

"Robin was wearing Steve's favorite sweatshirt, Steve's scent has got to b practically baked into it." Nancy deduced.

"There would've been no better item to use as a tracking token." Lucas chirped before grimacing as he said. "Aside from used underwear but almost all of Steve's laundry is intermingled w Robin's & the parts of the nest he said he was going to wash."

"Robin's laundry might b the key words there kid. Get Will & Dustin going thru Steve's laundry baskets looking for at least 4 items tht smell strongly of either of them. Get Mike & tht Argyle guy out here." Hopper started planning aloud, because now there was a target they might b able to hit. Nancy & Lucas nodded seemingly already thinking along the same lines. Hopper said it aloud anyway.

"We're gonna try to follow Robin's example, we're gonna track them."

MEANWHILE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A GATE...

Robin climbed thru the gate slightly weary from her run & how the membrane did not break like other gates would. Instead it felt like she walked through a raging waterfall, like she was upright on land yet water pounded away around her & on her. When she stepped thru completely she stumbled, caught her breath as best she could, & startled at the environment around her.

Because this was not the upside down they had left behind when their plan partially succeeded. There was a breeze & no dark motes tht reminded her of spores, even the smell was slightly different. The barren trees now had buds of little leaves everywhere she looked. There was no roiling constant thunder storm overhead but a bright full moon tht burned red.

Behind her she heard a breaking of wood & turned to see the gate closing. She'd have to figure out how to get out again but tht came after she found Steve.

The alpha took a deep inhale of the scrap of fabric in her hand then of the sweat shirt she was wearing. Her sweat from running had started to mingle w Steve's scent but baked apples still dominated her cloves & cedar.

Robin closed her eyes to focus. Then soon took off again, much more cautiously, into the changed upside down.

MEANWHILE AT A CABIN IN THE SAME DIMENSION...

Steve watched w bated breath as the creature's throat swallowed & clicked a few times before it spoke in a halting voice ragged w disuse.

"Me... Eddie... Alpha to... Steve"

The omega chirped in joy & heedless of claws or fangs or wings pulled Eddie, HIS Eddie, into the nest & his embrace. His alpha was always gentle w him though & Eddie caught himself before he could tumble his full weight onto Steve. The changed alpha rolled to Steve's side tht was most exposed to the rooms open door. Eddie crooned then nosed along Steve's jaw till he found his gland. A deep inhale then the alpha both relaxed & tensed his muscles as if ready to move at a moments notice.

"Can you smell it Eddie? I'm-- I'm pregnant with our puppy." Steve teared up w joy & sadness. He held his Alpha closer & guided his hand to his stomach as the omega started to purr.

"Puppy... our... puppy" Eddie began purring in return. A loud rumbling sound not unlike the engine in his uncles van.

"Yes, our puppy." Steve chirped as a tear escaped.

"One... of six" his Alpha smiled around the fangs protruding from his mouth, apparently Eddie might have limited speech but he was still able to tease. Steve laughed & pulled Eddie further up the nest so he could have a turn scenting at the alphas neck.

Roasted cardamom seed & cedar filled his senses. At last, Steve felt the weariness of what the doctor's diagnosed as chronic rejection sickness begin to fade.

There were many questions to ask & it seemed Eddie was limited in his answers. Steve decided to not care at the moment because he was in a nest being held by his Alpha again. Quickly Steve felt himself sink into a sleep he already knew would actually ease his exhaustion.

[Now there shall b an intermission I think! As much as this could turn into a full on fic (which it might do not despair) I am kind of currently treating slick sunday as a sort of rough draft outlet 😅 Part 5 next week! It shall b the intermission in the form of flashback 🤭 till next time!]

one of six!!!👏👏👏

[star-lights-up]

okay but hear me out: cherik the office au.

No, they're not pam and jim..... they're holly and michael.

Sorta.

Erik is the super strict, terrifying, robotic boss of dunder mifflin's scranton branch. he's lonely, has no family, begrudgingly loves his branch but would never admit it (but puts up with their antics). Only a core group has really managed to stay on, but that's because anyone who's not used to him usually ends up quitting or getting fired because he's so scary and inhuman. But corporate keeps the branch open because SOMEHOW they're the most productive branch despite erik likely being some kind of killer robot or shark-human hybrid and the entire office getting into crazy shenanigans (one time Sean, one of their accounts, got pushed off the roof into a bouncy house. he was mostly fine).

Erik HATES the HR attendant, Logan. HATES HIM hates him. So when Logan goes on paternity leave after discovering he's got a daughter, Erik expects to hate the new HR guy just as much.

Instead, he's this funny, sexy british guy who laughs at Erik's lame attempts to be funny around him (he never tries to be funny, he's not sure what's come over him) and is always kind and understanding and pretty damn good at getting office spats to fizzle out. He looks great in a suit and has a big smile and big blue eyes and damn it if erik isn't down bad the moment they first talk to each other.

With some gradual prompting from his subordinates, Erik eventually asks him out. Charles smirks, saying he was wondering when Erik was going to finally do so, and they plan on dinner that night.

then the next night, too. and the night after that, and that, until every moment they're not together is just... well... agony.

Erik's a lot happier after they start dating. The office is a lighter space. he even makes jokes sometimes. Everyone's amazed -- and wondering why the actual fuck someone as charming and handsome as charles would want to date erik (the answer to this question, asked, at one point, by Hank, was a smirk and "have you SEEN him?" which wasn't really the answer anyone was looking for -- though when erik wasn't frowning and wasn't smiling that creepy shark smile of his, he could maybe be considered attractive. Maybe. Charles sure seemed to think so, if the blatant, borderline disgusting PDA was any indication.)

Eventually, however, it is time for logan to return, and Charles is relocated. Erik becomes insufferable again, the long distance weighing on his heart. Everyone pretty much thinks that's going to be the end of the relationship, whether now or in a few week's time, but then Emma catches Erik sitting on the floor in the corner of his office having a pretty serious mental breakdown over hoping Charles will still love him even though they're so far away, and it's clear that something has to be done. He's fucking depressed.

Something of an intervention is staged. It's very unwelcome on erik's part, the man yelling at them at first, but then eventually he's somber (nearly on the verge of TEARS. AGAIN. the office members quietly question their sanity, wondering if the universe has actually come to an end for Erik Lehnsherr to be acting like this, while carrying on trying to convince him that he needs to focus on his own happiness.) He's worked at this company for so long. He's been alone for so long. He's got savings.

It wouldn't kill him to make a leap for love and move to be with Charles. It may actually save him.

Eventually he actually ends up doing it. Erik Lehnsherr quits his job and moves away to be with the love of his life. Charles writes a thank-you note to the office. He seems ecstatic to have Erik back. the office feels a little bit emptier, strangely, as everyone realizes they might just miss their old boss. But Emma's good at what she does, good in Erik's position.

They all get wedding invites a year and a half later. They see Erik Lehnsherr cry again, in his ceremony, right before he says "i do." And after that, he's not so alone anymore.

[viktoriaashleyyx]

Why do some of us not *hate* Tamlin?

I am pro-tamlin, not pro feylin. I would prefer Tamlin to never have to deal with the NC ever again. If SJM never types his name out again I will be happy.

Tw: light mentions to DV, SA, and Divorce.

Feyre is written in a way that makes it feel like she is intentionally manipulating us against Tamlin to justify her leaving him the way she did, and to put Rhysand up on a pedestal.

The abrupt and sloppy way SJM handled Tamlins' character assassination induced my fight or flight. Let me explain:

My parents divorced when I was 4, and I had to learn, quickly, how to interpret people's true intentions and empathize with where they are coming from vs just blindly listening to someones account of what happened. My father got custody of us and would use the same elements against my mom that Feyre uses against Tamlin. I HAVE to read between the lines or I would fall to the intentional manipulation.

"She left me so she probably cheated" "he trapped me in the house" "she has a new boyfriend so she doesn't care about you anymore" "he hit me [when I was actively TRYING to get him to hit me to sway public opinion of him]"

Everytime Feyre left for the NC, she did so kicking and screaming. Every indication Tamlin could see was that she did NOT want to go with Rhys, until he gets a letter from her saying to not come looking for her that she doesn't want to be with him. Tamlin didn't know she could read or write. Had that been my love I would assume it was a ransom note too, written by someone else. Had she actually spent 1 hr winnowing to Tamlin, tell him face to face, then winnow back (with an escort) he MIGHT have gotten the hint.

A tithe was a weird thing to use to show how cruel Tamlin is, considering how 2/3 of the night court live in constant fear, children's bones are broken for misbehaving, the CoN are trapped there. SJM really showed us that she has no political knowledge what so ever. I barely started ACOFAS and when Feyres talking about the unnatural sum of her money, my first thought is "You don't amass that level of wealth without oppressing someone." Lucien said that Tamlin would be expected to hunt down those not able to pay the tithe, but when we get to Tamlins actual actions he just said "get it together in 3 days or pay double next time". In my initial reading, I interpreted it as another mask (like how Rhysand acts). Tamlin does this due to tradition, he is expected to act a certain way, but *I felt* he had no intention of acting out what he said. It was just a line he was expected to say to send the wraith away without others expecting the same.

Feyre and Tamlin were not right for eachother because they were not eachothers mates. People can exist fine separately, and be incredibly toxic together. From page 1 we see Feyres inherent inability to empathize with anyone, she has it bad, she has to hunt, therefore her sisters don't do anything. But she also can't cook, so who was preparing the meat she brought home? It gave me "housework isn't real work" vibes. Feyre also doesn't communicate very well, which would explain why a literal mind reader was able to help her better than Tamlin was. I saw Tamlin trying but not being able to help her because he couldn't read her mind.

Feyre didn't want to be trapped in a manor for a few hours while she was displaying manic behavior, but she condoned her sisters be trapped in the HOW for 6 weeks immediately after losing their lives. She condones the treatment of the people in Hewn city and supports the literal Jim Crow laws placed against them in Velaris when all they wanted was to leave. She condones and supports trapping Nesta in HoW after the war just to force Cassain on her so Feyre can play matchmaker.

Feyre is an inherently self centered sociopath. She can read minds and still can't develop a shred of empathy.

Just leave Tamlin alone. Damn.

[affixjoy]

Here’s a list of all my Star Trek fics!

Spirk

Wanna be the one that you want to see aka the Spirk sex tropes one. My most popular Trek fic on ao3 and one I’m particularly proud of!

Spectacles painted with my shaking hand aka the one with the oranges and sexy oil

I thought I saw you smile aka the snw body swap fic

We need disposable towels in the gym aka my funniest fic, the one where the Enterprise HR has to deal with ALL the sex happening on board.

Risks and Rewards aka the one with the unstoppable spontaneous orgasms

And Stars May Collide aka my very self indulgent fic where Spirk lives through the movie Moulin Rouge due to alien dream bullshit

Spock vs the IT guy aka Spock feuds with the IT guy and finally hooks up with Kirk

The Upside of Rumors aka the one where the crew makes spreadsheets and bets over where Spock and Kirk are together

And with one heart I reached for you aka the one where Sam’s ghost checks in on Spirk

Star Trek Drabbles aka 100 word warm up of Spirk

Strange New Dicks aka the one where Spock’s dick changes every chapter for Vulcan bonding purposes

McKirk

We both had a hand in it (you and me both kid) aka the one where Jim leaves a vibrator in Bones’ bed.

Hunt me down, catch in my throat, make me pray aka not even the hint of plot, this is only porn.

Spones

Nothing that shouldn’t have happened long ago aka what I think happened between Spock and Bones after the TOS episode All Our Yesterdays

Handle Me With Care aka the one where Bones has to remove his own appendix aka the one that was in the nsfw Sponeszine

McSpirk

A Most Fascinating Experience aka McSpirk pwp with a lot of dirty talk from Bones.

Sometimes a feeling is all we have to go on aka the one where Bones can’t come.

and yes I said yes I will Yes aka that time I decided to bring together mcspirk, Pon Farr, and that sexy capital Y from Molly Bloom’s soliloquy

Keep our minds on the sun of each other aka my aos McSpirk featuring some fun made up Vulcan meditation rituals for Spock to use to romance Bones.

A heart should always go one step too far aka voyeur Bones, possibly my steamiest fic?

Leap beyond logic aka the end of the TMP divorce era

Take me places I’ve never known aka snw era getting together, the one where Jim gets confused about what Spock’s genital situation is

You know we’ll have a good time then aka the one where Kirk and Spock get Joanna’s age VERY wrong

Spuhotty

Spock The Liar aka the one where Snw Spock hooks up with Uhura and Scotty, pure pwp

Amanda/Sarek

Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time aka Amanda and Sarek getting together fic, wip but will hopefully be done soon

[bingbopboombam]

There are 3 forces that were bound to come after Smoke, Stack, Sammie and whoever hung around them it just depended on who'd win the race

1. The KKK sold the twins a killing floor/slaughterhouse. Stack noticed the stains on the floor and then we learn later on that Hogswood was planning a lynch mob on the juke joint in the morning

2. Implied that the Irish and Italian gangs of Chicago would figure out and follow the trail the twins left behind after stealing their beer n wine. Mississippi is a straight shot down the highway from Chicago, about a 9 hr drive. Nice detail in that Remmick is Irish so technically the Irish side by proxy of the main villain and vampire caught up to the twins 1st (devil at the juke joint's door)

3. And lastly Remmick is ofc the biggest threat of the twins and Sammie because of his supernatural powers over commonplace Southern Jim Crow racism

[maeberzatto]

Ooo hiii! Can I please request a Carmy x fem!reader where he proposes to her on Valentine’s Day? Ooo and maybe this is the au where she’s his assistant, and has been for years, and the staff is heavily involved in the proposal hehe

Also Richie making some joke about how this is some promotion she’s getting lmao

hope this is okay my love! i honestly had no idea i had an au where she's an assistant lmao! i also changed it a little bit, hope that's okay ♡ - wc: 1.02k | nav post - request guidelines | cw: fem!reader, mention of reader wearing a dress

"You're not seriously proposing, are you?" Richie asks Carmen as the two prepare the Beef for it's opening. Carmen lets out a sigh as he ties his apron behind his back. "And who the hell told you?" Carmen questions in return.

"Sugar did. You proposin' or what?" Richie repeats, as Carmen rolls his eyes. "Cousin, you are not to say a word about this to anyone, okay?" He lets out a long exhale. "I am. Tonight." Carmen confirms as Richie stares at him. "Oh my gosh, you're gonna marry your assistant. If only we had an HR that could have a field day with you."

"I'm basically HR, cousin." Carmy reminds as he walks over to Marcus. "Chef, how's it going?" He asks as he rubs his hands together. "I have got our Valentine's day treats prepped, and I even have a cake prepared for when you propose to your girl." Marcus grins as Carmen rolls his eyes. "Maybe Sugar is the one I should tell to shut up." He mumbles before he walks over to his station.

"So, any big plans for tonight?" He overhears Syd ask you as you and her handle cleaning one of the other stations. "None at all. Why is everyone asking me that today?" You laugh, a sound that he can't help but smile at, as you walk over to Marcus with the clipboard he assigned to you three years ago when you began working as his assistant.

It was Sugar really who gave him the idea of getting an assistant. She told him, "you're busy. You can't handle your own schedule or meetings, so hire someone to do it for you." She was the one to pick you out from a list of candidates, and from the moment he met you, he was in love with you.

But, in usual Carmen fashion, he took forever to get with you. Convincing himself you wouldn't feel the same way, that you wouldn't even want to be with him. Until you told him first that you loved him and had been in love with him. From there you two were kind of like the Jim and Pam of the Beef, at least that's what Sydney referred to you too as.

"Hi Marcus. Oh, cute treats." You greet with a smile as you lean against the wall by his station, clipboard resting face-up against your front. "What's with that cake?" You ask, looking at the clipboard for any orders that may have been placed.

"Uh, I asked him to make it. Pete and I's anniversary is coming up and we didn't save any of our wedding cake so I asked Marcus to recreate it." Nat swoops in, smiling at you. You nod slowly. "Right.. well, congrats on your anniversary, Sug." You say before you turn and walk over to Carmen.

"Hey you. Clear your calendar because I am setting up a date night for us." Carmen says as he leans on the counter, standing in front of you. "Mm. Can I ask what we're doing on this date night or is it a total surprise?" You ask.

"Total surprise. I'll pick you up at your place." He kisses you on the cheek before walking off. You laugh before going back to your clipboard filled with Carmen's list of activites and meetings for the day. ────

You sat on your sofa, the dress you first met Carmen in on you. You figured with it being Valentine's Day, the nostalgia of the first time you met him would be nice for the date night Carmy had planned.

A small knock from the front door, and you stood from your spot and walked over to answer it. Fixing your hair as you stood in front of the door for a second, you opened it, expecting to meet Carmen's eyes. Instead, you found him on one knee in front of you, one hand behind his back.

"I was going to do this at a restaraunt. Or on the sidewalk, or literally any-fucking-where else." He admits with a breathy laugh following. "But, I couldn't wait. I couldn't imagine myself doing this anywhere else and of course it's like me to do this at your front door on your welcome mat."

"I love you. I've loved you since I met you, and each day that passes I find myself falling more and more in love with you. You're my everything, you're my moon and stars- no, you're my fucking universe." He shakes his head, tears in his eyes. "And I can't imagine a world or my life without you there. I want you and I to build a life together. To have a family with you if that's what we find ourselves wanting." He smiles. "Will you make me the happiest man, even though you already have, make me an even happier man and marry me?"

As soon as he pulls the ring out you're already saying yes, practically dragging him up off the ground so you can kiss him. He slides the ring onto your finger before kissing you again. You pull away, laughing as you place a hand on his cheek. "Carm, I love you so much- was everyone else in on this!?" You ask through a laugh.

"They were. Sugar kept telling everyone, I'm shocked no one spilled." He laughs as well, wrapping his arms around you to hug you, burying his face in your neck. "Okay, seriously no Valentine's day will ever top this." You say.

────

It doesn't shock anyone when you show up to work the next day with the ring on your finger, and the story of him proposing on your doorstep doesn't shock anyone either. "Is this her getting a promotion?" Richie asks with a grin as you roll your eyes. "If we had an HR department I swear I'd file a report against you."

"You're technically marrying the HR department." Carmen says softly as you grin. "Hell yes I am." You place a kiss on his cheek. "Hey, now as your assistant I get to schedule your wedding." You note as he smiles, pressing his forehead against yours.

"Can't wait for it."

˙ ✩°˖🌸 ⋆｡˚꩜

thank you for reading! please feel free to engage with this post by reblogging, commenting or sliding into my inbox to leave feedback! i appreciate all of you! check out my nav post here for more fanfics!

- mae:)

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚.🎀༘⋆

mae’s loves:

@wabi-sabi1090

@harrysmatcha

@kpopgirlbtssvt

@urdreamgirl12

@readingwithsass

@angelicflower2020

@wadupppp

to join my taglist please reply to this post asking to be added!

[moonempire]

AOT The Office AU

So I've been rewatching the office for probably the 4th time (it's too good) and I just keep thinking of the AOT cast in a similar scenario. Of course since Jean is my obvious favourite he'd be the jim-esque character, Levi and Stanley have similar personalities (maybe Angela too). Hange and Meredith. Erwin is so Michael Scott coded and Floch maybe some Andy vibes. I mean it kind of wouldn't fit perfectly but I want to give my vison ago:

So here we go Sales associate Jean x receptionist reader + overall

Headcanons: .Okie so obviously he finds random reasons to come up to your desk .doesn't say a word when he gets there just stares at you until you give him attention .shares a desk clump with Marco and Floch .used to be with Connie and Sasha too but those two had to get separated. Floch used to work down at the warehouse but levelled up and now Sasha sit with Historia and Ymir who keep her in check good cop bad cop style. Respectively. And Connie sits all by himself like the bad kid in a classroom. .Levi personally set up a desk for him, but its only caused Connie to wonder about from time to time .another desk clump is Reiner, Berthold and Annie, most of the noise coming from there is Reiner. Unfortunately it's sometimes weeping because a deadline is coming up and he's still got loads to do .sometimes Berthold has panic attacks when documents go missing .Poor Annie is basically a caretaker for both of them, to the point Erwin official made her the middle manager of their little department and gave her a raise .Down at the warehouse is Zeke (who Eren denied relation too for a long time) Porco, Marcel, Yelena (who Erwin thought was a really lanky guy for the first two weeks of her employment)and Colt whose still fairly new. Miche is in charge and does not give a shit and cause him and Erwin go way back when, so, he gets away with it. . Miche and Zeke do not get along at all, onetime they were both sent home for having a fight on the parking lot. Bets were placed, popcorn was made and there were tears. .They constantly have to kick Hange out, whose always doing dodge stuff down there. Nobody really knows what but they always emerge from the nook they've made for themselves with mysterious stains Hange Levi and Erwin are all Heads of department. Accounting, HR, and Sales respectively. Erwin and Levi share an office for god knows what reason and Hange likes to switch up desks every now and then. .Levi and Erwin did NOT get along at the start, sometimes they still don't.

Little Jean Scenario: so like I said Jean has a fat crush on you (the still fairly new receptionist). So it's one of those days where he comes up to your desk and just stares at you but you're actually busy proof reading a bunch of documents for Levi cause he didn't have time to do them himself. You look up at Jean with an exasperated look and sigh "What do you want now?" in a rather unamused tone, which he's not used to at all and mutters "Nothing" with a little pout and goes back to his desk. Unfortunately for him, Eren was going to make some copies at the exact moment and Connie was having one of his wonders about so both of his "biggest fans" had seen the awkward encounter. The pair circle behind him to his desk with massive grins on their faces, which Floch can't help but miss so pulls his face out of his screen

"Trouble in paradise?" Connie teases first, to which Jean grimaces at putting his glasses on and looking at his screen at nothing in particular. He would have been able to handle your tone no problem; the three Cheshire cats stood and sat around him are making it it impossible. "Oh look at him he's sulking." Eren adds "Did you get kicked out the bedroom Jean" Floch snorts which earns him three glares that scream "no one invited you". "Aww Jean come on now don't ignore us" Connie says poking the back of Jeans head. All this teasing is unbeknownst to you since you're having a hard time on the documents and Levi keeps poking his head out of his office to see if your done yet. In fact you hadn't even clocked the slight harshness in your tone when addressing Jean. Around half an hour later you knock on Levi and Erwin's office to return the proof read paper. Levi takes them from your hands then looks up at you.

"Can you check on Kirschtein for me" he asked in a stoic tone then mutters "Before he has another tantrum" before rolling his eyes and returning to his office. Levi had noticed Jean's sulky mood for the last half hour but didn't have time to tell him to "pull his socks up" like he normally does. So he unknowingly sent you to go resolve the little spat (as Jean's mind has now blown it up to be) with the now very moody salesman. So you do as you your told and go check on him "I'm fine" he replies not hiding the huff that escaped his throat then adjusting his glasses. "I never noticed you wore glasses." you say to him with an intrigued smile bring your face to align with his for a better look. His narrowed eyes catch your curious wide ones and he can't help but match. "I ran out of contacts, need to reorder." he says in the same tone but this time minus the huff. "They suit you, you should wear them more often" you tell him with sincerity or so he hears. The truth is most of the time when you speak to him it's how co workers (that perhaps like each other) talk to each other. But Jean's ears can't help but pick up every letter, every work, sentence and amplify the slight emotion behind it. "Good to know." he answers with a very small smile God, how could he have been so upset, he thinks to himself. You probably had no idea that you'd used that tone with him, you clearly didn't mean it he realises with the gentle conversation occurring. All his moodiness washes away and he sits up straight. "I don't think I've worn glasses since high school." he tells you feeling alot better. "Oh my god really, I have to see a picture." you giggle at the stroy he begins to tell. You lean on his desk for once while he's the one sitting looking up at you. You stay there until Levi pops out his offcie with more documents to proof read.

Ahh i love the office sm!!!! Also i don't think this is exactlyh what i wrote last time but hopefully its better :))

[bag-full-of-bricks]

me using a blade launcher to kill members of a heavily militarized cult while stuck in a underground bunker with jim from accounting whos wearing a bunch of magazines and barbara from HR whos cooking ice cream and wheat soup because some guy left the evil creature container unlocked

[aloneandforsakenbyfateandbyman]

Why is corporate culture so cult-like?? I always feel guilty to quit. Like a Jim Jones or Charles Manson suicide cult victim escaping the compound.

I think about making a LinkedIn, doing a course, going back to uni, coping that somehow there’s a job out there that isn’t soul sucking etc. Convincing myself to stay in my current job to “build my resume.” Awaiting that proverbial pat on the back, a good performance review, a raise, a positive reference, all those asinine wagecuck benchmarks. While still being permanently broke.

When I work, I’m different than the relaxed hippie I am while unemployed. Now, I’m once again addicted to grandiose purchases and shallow consumerism.

I fantasize about saving up for a rhinoplasty, botox, an electric car, lip injections, designer bags, jewelry, apple products, and so on. I end up spending $10 on bubble tea, then go home and sleep for 20 hrs after watching softcore p*rn movies from the 70s while living in my parents’ house at nearly 30.

Working ourselves to death to buy bimbo products, funding exotic escapist trips bc we’re unable to pay rent in any western metropolis, and unable to move to a bumpkin hick city bc there’s no jobs there and it’s too lame. Boomers judge us, but what option do we really have?

When I work, I feel like a programmed Heaven’s Gate cult member! I’m performing capitalism through my bodily movements. I’m part of the system until I quit once again and stop paying taxes. I guess it’s just the effects of the 5G and fluoride which are preventing us from releasing our inner Kaczynski!