#jimin's journey

[kimtaegis]

he’s everything

[jimin-my-sunshine]

It's already September 1st over in Korea, so that means today is your birthday.

I've been feeling rather conflicted and confused over these past few weeks, since I have found out what goes on when you are together with Taehyung.

No matter what people try to fill my head with through all of the hate I have been enduring- and no matter what I see-

None of that can change the reality of the matter and that's how I am one of your other halves.

Jungkook, I will never believe that you are a bad person, because I know that's not who you are and people can try to confuse me all they like- but I won't allow them to hold that kind of power over me.

You are our other half and Jimin loves you, so that means you are a kind and compassionate soul, who just loses his way sometimes.

We all do and we're barely even close enough to being perfect at the end of the day.

You're beautiful just the way you are and I will take all of your flaws, along with the good- because that's what it means when you truly love someone.

Twin flames are all about unconditional love, so I will love you through all of these hardships and wait for the day when I can hold you close and say that I have made it through the darkest nights.

You're with our other half on this blessed day and you're keeping each other safe, while you persevere through the hellish nightmare you are currently going through.

Stay strong Jungkook, because you'll be back before you know it, love ~

[seoul-bros]

Jikook Week 28 Complete ✔️(18/06 - 25/06/2024)

Their twenty eighth week in the military is now complete and time to celebrate this milestone with a look back at this week in 2020. This really was a jikook extravaganza week. I've never seen so many classic jikook moments all fitted in one week before.

BTS were in the lead up to the release of Map of the Soul 7 The Journey on the 14th July 2020. This was their fourth full length album in Japanese and their eighth studio album overall.

This week a series of photos to accompany the release including these two stunning pictures of Jimin and JK.

Stay Gold was released on 19/06 and this live version on the 22/06.

Also this week, BTS Music Journey Part 1 and Part 2 were released with them talking about their seven years since debut. When asked to say something about Jimin, Jungkook had the following response.

JK: "Jimin-ssi ...... are words necessary" JM: Yes, words are necessary"

JK: "I'm always watching you Jimin-ssi" JM: "I'll work harder"

The interaction itself and Namjoon's reactions in the background send me every time.

Twix Link

Finally on 21/06, it was the jikook - we are gimbap chefs live parts 1 and 2 and afterwards Jimin posted this photo on TwiX. It was the epitome of domesticity and ease and reflected how comfortable they are with each other. Part 1 was the dry run and Part 2 was when they put what they had learned in Part 1 into practice.

In Part 1, they laid out ingredients including Perilla leaves - yep the same Perilla leaves that caused a heated debate in the MBTI episode.

They fielded marriage proposals from ARMY which led Jungkook to swiftly change the subject. Egg gimbap anyone.

Then they got on with the serious business of cooking complete with dramatic soundtrack and sesame oil mishaps.

JK was teasing Jimin and dropping honorifics left, right, and centre...

..and couldn't contain his laughter at Jimin's gimbap slicing.

Not totally satisfied with their initial efforts they launched into Part 2 which went very well indeed.

Cr. to OP

So great to watch that again.

Post Date: 25/06/2024

[honeylemonteaasblog]

Loved You Once

summary: Our MC, Jia, moves back to Korea after living abroad and reconnects with the boys, including Jungkook, the boy who has been in love with her since they were kids.

pairing: Jungkook x Reader (Named MC)

genre: angst, some fluff, healing

word count: 6.3 k

warning (triggers— please read them): domestic abuse, emotional abuse and manipulation, implied physical abuse, trauma, depression, talk of mental health

note: I tried to portray mental health in a real way that represented trauma and abuse without romanticizing it. I understand that parts of this may be difficult to read, but I also firmly believe that we should talk about mental health, trauma, and abuse in an effort to create safe spaces for survivors’ stories. Please let me know if anyone has advice or concerns about writing about sensitive topics. I’d love to hear it.

“Did you hear? Jia’s back.” Jungkook’s head snapped to Hoseok. It looked like the rest of the boys were also surprised. Your family had moved to the states when you were still in high school. You all had maintained your friendship for a while through excessive texting and random facetimes, but the distance made it difficult. Then, life got really busy and you all fell out of touch. Well, you fell out of touch with them; they still talked with each other.

It was something that the boys would never forgive themselves for. They had each other, but they felt like they had abandoned you. Even if that wasn’t the case and you didn’t actually blame them. The boys felt bad that they were all friends still and didn’t even know how you were doing. They don’t check in anymore. They were supposed to be your best friends, but they had done a horrible job of maintaining that relationship. However, it was also something they would never admit to each other. Mostly because they didn’t want to say it out loud. None of them had talked to you in years.

“I overheard my mom talking to her mom.” Hoseok admits. They could see the frown on his face. And they could all relate. They wish that they didn’t need to resort to overhearing their parents’ conversation to hear about their best friend’s life. Well, the girl who used to be their best friend, now they aren’t sure where they stand anymore. It’s not like they had planned on growing apart. They still cared for you. Now, it’s just… hard.

Jungkook wasn’t sure how to make sense of his emotions. Of course, the 8 of you had been best friends, but he was in love with you. He thinks that he had always loved you, even before he had realized it. But you moved away before he was able to fully understand that you were the love of his life and he would never be able to love someone else like he loves you. He’s not trying to be dramatic, he had a few girlfriends. It’s just that he quickly realized that none of them were you. You were across the ocean. Then, he remembers seeing an instagram post about an anniversary and decided that he needed to move on. You looked happy in the photo and he decided that he couldn’t threaten that by claiming that you were the love of his life. He couldn’t just barge into your life after abandoning you. It’s just, that he couldn’t get over you. How was anyone supposed to get over you?

“Maybe she’ll come to the event on Friday?” Seokjin wondered aloud. Hoseok’s family and your family were close. So, if you were back in town it made sense that you would be at the Jung family’s charity event. Your parents would be there. They just didn’t know how to prepare for seeing you. Were they supposed to act like nothing happened? Were they supposed to beg for your forgiveness and apologize profusely? It’s not like you had made an effort to maintain your friendship either. It was just… that life got busy. They would never hold that against you though. Your entire life changed. They were the ones that were supposed to keep your life stable, but they didn’t.

“I guess we will see in a few days.”

You sat in front of your vanity for a while because you couldn’t bring yourself to get up. You had already finished getting ready but you didn’t want to go down stairs because then you would have to see all the people that you had left. Your family had moved while you were in high school, but your parents moved back to Korea when you went to university. You had gotten a scholarship and didn’t want to waste it, so you stayed. It was one of the hardest decisions you had ever made. You didn’t know if you could live in the states without your family. But you were also in love, which made the decision easier though you would deny it.

You lived in the states for four years as you finished college. You had a masters program lined up but then everything went to shit— well everything was already shit, you just hadn’t realized it yet. You hated yourself for dropping out of the masters program. It had been one of the most competitive programs in the country and you just… left it. Even though you know it’s not your fault (a fact that your therapist made sure to remind you over and over until you could remind yourself), it feels like your fault. It feels like you gave up.

You blink away the tears. You had spent way to long on your make up to ruin it now. “Let’s get this over with” You mutter to yourself. You are already tired just thinking about the small talk.

To be honest, you hadn’t thought about seeing the boys. Of course they were your best friends, but now they weren’t. Unlike the boys suspected, you didn’t blame them. You had drifted away from them and you knew that they were pursuing their dreams. You would never let your problems hold them back. But that means you also hadn’t thought about seeing them. Ever since getting back you had been struggling, so no offense to the boys, but they weren’t really the priority.

You allowed yourself one deep breath before pushing the door open. The event was being held down stairs so you knew that you wouldn’t have much time to steel yourself once you left the room. You had to be prepared before you left.

The room was beautiful. It was like an extravagant ballroom fit for a gala. Hoseok’s family had gone all out this year. The doors at the back opened into a garden. You could see a beautiful water fountain out in the garden. You knew that you would spend most of the evening outside, hiding away from everything else. It’s not that you didn’t want to see anyone, it’s just that you had only gotten back a little more than a week ago. That’s not a lot of time to adjust to life in Korea again. Let alone, prepare for the Jung Family’s charity event, which was always an impressive event.

You didn’t see the boys until the event was almost over. You had been successfully hiding in the garden for most of the night. But the fountain was really beautiful so you decided to sit on one of the benches. Yoongi had seen you sitting there for a little while and decided that he had to consult the rest of his friends to decide what they should do. To decide how to approach you. What to talk about and which questions were good questions. How not to overwhelm you. They knew all of them going over at once would probably be overwhelming, but none of them would wait. They didn’t even play rock paper scissors to decide; the stakes were too high and no one wanted to risk losing.

Besides, if some people were forced to stay back, they would most likely end up watching from the bushes and that would be even more awkward when you inevitably noticed.

You looked up when you heard the footsteps approaching. Your eyes widened comically and the boys thought that you were about to begin a long rant about how everything was there fault. They really should have kept in touch just to save themselves the scolding. But you didn’t. You simply took two long strides and threw yourself into Jungkook’s arms. Jungkook easily caught you. Like the rest of them, he was surprised, but he didn’t dare not catch you. You felt Jin pat your head, ruffling your hair. You turned to glare at him, but kept your arms wrapped around Jungkook.

“Jia, it’s been so long. We’re sorry we didn’t keep in touch.” You simply waved Namjoon off, much to the boys surprise. “Life got busy.” You reply. That was the understatement of the year.

“We have plenty of time to catch up.” You reassure them, still clinging to Jungkook. Though you reluctantly pull away and put some distance between the two of you so you can hug the rest of the boys. Jungkook thought he felt physical pain when he let you go.

You always knew that Jungkook had a crush on you, and you thought it was adorable. Mostly because you thought Jungkook was adorable. When you left you had a crush on him too. The secretly-writing-in-your-diary, middle-school-love, innocent kind of crush. The one that you would never act on because it was too pure for this world. The love that you would hold on to when other boys broke your heart to prove that love really did exist. But then you had been in the States and Jungkook was here. You couldn’t let yourself be stuck on him. Then, you fell in love with another man and dreamed of marrying him and your children and a happy ever after. You dreamed of experiencing the love that you felt for Jungkook with another man. You should have noticed that first mistake, to think that that love could be replicated. None of those dreams worked out, but despite all of it, you never didn’t love Jungkook. He was your first love. Deep down, you think you’ve only loved Jungkook, but you aren’t ready to think too much about that yet.

So the rest of the night you keep your distance from Jungkook and catch up with the boys on what you’ve missed. You fill them in on some of what they’ve missed, but you decide to keep most of the shit show that is your life to yourself. It’s not that you think the boys would judge you, but some things you aren’t ready to admit out loud to anyone, not even in your room by yourself with no one else home.

When you leave the boys at the end to the night you all decide to meet the next morning at one of your favorite cafes. You used to go there multiple times a week when you all were still in high school, before you left of course.

You knew that today was going to be a hard day as soon as you woke up. The past week you had been full of energy and happiness, most of which you attribute to seeing the boys again for the first time and having your schedule packed with cafe hopping and catching up with their lives. But here you were, lying in bed with the covers pulled over your head, crying for no real reason other than that today sucks. It was only 9 in the morning. You were supposed to meet up with Jungkook, Jin, and Yoongi for brunch, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move. You wanted to curl up and die.

Are you being dramatic right now, of course. But that’s also the reality of life. Some days are harder than others. And today is one of those. Once your life went to shit and you realized the love of your life was not in fact the love of your life, there were a lot of hard days. You tried to power through them through sheer determination and will power, but quickly realized that you were too exhausted. You had been fighting to stay afloat for so long as your life tried to drown you, that you didn’t even have any fight left once you realized that you were being drowned in the first place.

It took you a while to realize, and accept, that somedays were slow days. The days when you let your self roll around in bed and cry without needing to feel guilty. The days when you ate all the chocolate in your apartment and didn’t change out of your pajamas. Honestly, there were a lot of those days.

It is admittedly harder to allow yourself those slow days when your back in Seoul, and when you have brunch plans in a couple of hours. But you are also well aware that you aren’t going to be able to show up for brunch in a few hours. It’s simply not something you have the energy to do and that’s okay. The boys will understand. They have to. If they don’t, and they aren’t able to accept this new, broken version of yourself, then you aren’t sure how your friendship will work. And you can’t lose them all over again. So, they have to understand that sometimes there are hard days and you won’t be able to make it to brunch.

You reach over to your nightstand to text the new group chat, with you and the boys. You send out a text about not being able to make it to brunch, you aren’t completely sure what to tell them and you don’t want to lie. You decide to leave it ambiguous and hope that they don’t read into it. When you sit up in bed and assess your situation, you think that your therapist would be proud of you. Recognizing your emotions. Setting boundaries. Communication.

You realize that, despite everything, you are proud of yourself.

Today’s slow day will start with a bath, you decide. And ordering pastries and coffee from your favorite cafe.

The boys are all gathered in Namjoon’s office reading your text, again.

“I’m sorry I can’t make it to brunch today. I’d love to reschedule tho. Some time later this week work?”

They had called an emergency meeting as soon as they had seen the text this morning, despite some of the boys working. They rearranged their schedules for it. They didn’t want to seem overbearing. You had just gotten back from the States. And they have been making plans with you constantly for the past week. Now that they think about it, it might have been a little overbearing. Okay, definitely overbearing.

There was something formal about your text that they couldn’t figure out. Hence the impromptu meeting. You didn’t make an excuses or claim that you were tired. You just said that you weren’t coming. Honestly, it stumped them. It made them feel like something was wrong. But they weren’t sure how to ask if something was wrong without being even more overbearing than they already were.

Hoseok had asked your parents where you were staying, claiming that they wanted to deliver some food for you. But they also didn’t want to intrude on your space. And you clearly wanted some space. They just also wanted to check on you. They needed to check on you. Ultimately, that was the deciding factor. The guilt of the past years was consuming them whole and they couldn’t bare the idea of you hurting in your apartment alone as they continued on with everyday life.

They decided on Jungkook heading over to your apartment to check on you. If anyone was going to get through to you, it’d be Jungkook. And if anyone needed to see you and make sure you were okay, it’d be Jungkook.

Jungkook got to your apartment before you had time to order from the cafe which would have been bad because you really wanted coffee and a chocolate croissant. But Jungkook brought coffee and a chocolate croissant.

You still made him sit on the couch until you had drank half the coffee. And he was happy to wait, he thought that you looked like you needed the coffee. It made Jungkook happy that he was the one to bring you the coffee.

You looked exhausted. He could see bags under your eyes but he couldn’t tell if they were from last night or it was the first time he was seeing you without makeup since you had gotten back. You were wearing a sweatshirt and baggy sweatpants that seemed to be swallowing you whole. You looked really comfortable. And cute. Like really cute, but in a way that made Jungkook want to pull you into his arms and cuddle with you for the rest of eternity kind of way.

“Why did you come?” You didn’t bother asking how he knew where you lived, you knew your parents would’ve provided the information easily. They adored the seven boys who both protected and comforted you throughout your childhood. Jungkook watches you with careful eyes considering your reaction. He doesn’t see any anger.

“You look exhausted.” Jungkook didn’t really mean to say that, but he couldn’t help himself. “Are you sleeping okay?” He is suddenly overcome with guilt. The boys had wanted to make up for the past, they had wanted to learn about your life without them, and they had wanted to share their lives with you. Suddenly, Jungkook wasn’t sure if that was the right choice. They should’ve let you settle in and get adjusted to life in Seoul, rather than drag you around where they wanted to go. They shouldn’t have pushed so hard.

You laugh a little, breaking Jungkook out of his mental spiral. Guilt can do that to you, especially when it’s a little misplaced.

“I am, but that’s why I’m in Seoul. Right?” Your voice is firm, but vulnerable. Jungkook wants to push because he wants to understand what that means. Were you not sleeping well in the States? When he looks into your eyes he sees a vulnerability that tells him not to push you. So, he holds his tongue and instead reaches over and pulls you closer into his side.

“Then let’s rest.” Jungkook doesn’t leave room for your protests. But when he glances down at you, he doesn’t think you were ever going to. You simply burrow into the couch more and suggest that Jungkook turn a show on.

By the end of the first episode, you are asleep and Jungkook is smiling.

This is what the boys should have been doing, even well you were so far away. They should have found a way to comfort you, even when you didn’t ask for it. Especially when you didn’t ask for it. They should have showed up for you, both metaphorically but also literally. Why hadn’t they ever visited you?

The next few weeks are slower. You and the boys still go to brunch and try as many new cafes as you can. You still learn about each other’s lives and introduce each other to the new parts of yourself. You can tell that they care. It’s just like how they used to be: a perfect mix of protective and caring while creating space for you to be the person you want to be.

There are moments, mostly in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep, that you think about how they stopped reaching out after you went to the states. But even in those moments you scold yourself. Life was changing for all of you. You never wanted to blame them for your friendship falling apart.

More often than you would want to admit, you think about the man that you loved, the man who broke your heart and tore you apart. You wonder what the boys would have thought of you if they saw that. A part of you wanted them to rescue you. Another part of you was glad that they weren’t there. That they never saw how much power you gave to someone else and how he used it break everything you loved about yourself. He turned you against yourself.

You fell in love with a man who seems so perfect. It wasn’t until you had been dating for over a year and moved in together that you realized he wasn’t perfect. Rather he was an angry drunk. You knew that he was under a lot of stress with work and you liked to think that he loved you, but the more rational part of your brain also knew that you didn’t deserve to treated like that. No one did.

It’s a shame that it’s really hard to leave a relationship with someone who tells you that they love you. It’s really hard to leave a relationship with someone when you live with them and the rest of your family is an ocean away. And it’s really hard to leave a relationship when they apologize every time that they hurt you and promise that they will never do it again.

The longer you stayed, the harder it became. You started to think about how everyone would be disappointed that you hadn’t left the first time he put his hands on you. You started to think about how this is all your fault, and that you should have know better.

It wasn’t until you called a crisis text line in the middle of the night when he was on a work trip that you started to realize how wrong he was. You were under the blankets like someone was going to hear you. You didn’t tell them what was going on because you didn’t want it to be real, but it was the first time in years— since the boys— that someone just listened to you. That someone wanted to hear how you were doing and what they could do to help make life, even a little bit, easier.

After that call you started online therapy. It took a little bit until you found the right therapist for you, but when you did, you both just clicked. Within a few sessions you had spilled your story to her and despite all of your worries she didn’t blame you. She told you how strong you are. She told you that you were never the one to blame. She told you that he is the one at fault. Over the course of the following weeks she helped you move out and build a new foundation. She helped you reframed your thoughts so you weren’t blaming yourself for things that weren’t your fault and could recognize that no one should treat someone so horribly. That he is responsible for his actions. And possibly the hardest thing to recognize, that no matter what he told you what he felt for you wasn’t love. It was in those dark moments that you thought about Jungkook. You clung to those feelings and promised yourself that that was what love felt like.

And slowly, so slowly, you rebuilt your life. Then you moved back to Seoul because you couldn’t bear to be in the same city as that man. You never pursued any legal action, you were too exhausted. But you also knew that you’d likely be fighting a losing battle. You could tell your therapist wanted to hurt the man and see him in jail, but didn’t voice her opinions because ultimately they didn’t matter. Only your opinions mattered. You were the one who got to make decisions about your life.

Now back with the boys and in a city that you once loved, you are starting to feel better. You aren’t naive enough to think that your healed, in fact you think that you are broken, but you are no longer blaming yourself for being broken. There is something beautiful in being broken. At least that what you try to convince yourself.

You rush around your apartment, shoving things into closets and preparing for the boys who are coming in a few minutes. It will be the first time that all of the boys are coming over to your apartment together. You decided that you would host a dinner. It had been a month since you had gotten back to Seoul and you wanted to thank them for being there for you— even if they didn’t realize how much it meant to you.

When the door bell rings, you hesitate. You know it’s not true, but you can’t help but think that they will find something missing or think that you’re inadequate. You think that there will always be that little voice in your head that sounds like him. You shake your head and go to the door. You’d rather hear their voices.

Jungkook is standing there holding a bottle of wine. But Taehyung shoves the man out of the way at the last minute to pull you into a hug. Jungkook scowls and starts muttering threats. Hoseok slaps him on the shoulder before pulling you in for a hug, which makes you giggle. The boys immediately shut up and watch.

They love it when you laugh.

The dinner had been perfect and you were all sitting in front of the tv for a mario cart tournament when your phone rang. You didn’t think about it when you answered. That was your first mistake. You had gotten so used to the boys calling you. And if it wasn’t them it was probably your parents. They loved having you back in Seoul. They had missed you so much after they moved back to Seoul from the States.

“Jia.” His voice cut through the phone and it made you still. When you think back to this moment you won’t be able to help being a little disappointed in yourself. You had put so much work into getting better and into becoming stronger. Yet, all it took was one word to send you right back into that old version of yourself. The version that thought that what he felt for you was love. That’s what trauma does to you. No matter how much healing you do, you often can’t help some things from triggering you. You can’t always stop something having power over you. One day you will make sure that this man never holds any power over you, but until then you’ll always be scared of him.

The boys are so caught up in the race that they don’t realize. They will blame themselves for not realizing sooner, but how were they supposed to look out for something that they didn’t know was a threat.

You didn’t say anything, not to the boys and certainly not to him. Instead you stood up and shot the boys a little smile and walked to the balcony. You closed the door behind you and sunk into a chair. The boys that had seen the smile began to worry, it was their first warning, but they weren’t sure what to make of it. They weren’t sure how to help you.

“You left.” The anger in his voice startles you. It shouldn’t have. “You didn’t even say goodbye. I came home and you were gone. How could you do this to me!” You knew he didn’t actually want you to answer the question so you stayed quiet. You kept reminding yourself everything that your therapist had told you. You kept reminding yourself of everything that you told yourself in the mirror at night when the nightmares were particularly bad.

He was talking, but you weren’t listening. You hung up the phone. Even if you weren’t listening to him, you didn’t want to hear his voice anymore. There was a moment of panic after the line went dead that you were worried about what you had done. That you worried about what he would do to you. Then you looked around to remind yourself that you weren’t in the states anymore. You were in Seoul. He couldn’t hurt you anymore. You wouldn’t let him.

You started to laugh. It was a broken laugh that portrayed just how much that phone call had hurt you. The kind of laugh that screamed pain and trauma. But it felt so good. He had called you, ranting about who knows what, and you had just hung up. You hadn’t said a single word to the man and truthfully, he didn’t deserve anything. Despite all of the pain and knowing that the next few days were going to be hard days, you felt like you had taken back a little piece of your power. You had stripped him of his voice, just like he had taken yours. You had silenced him.

When the laughing stopped, the crying began. But this time it felt different. It didn’t feel like the world was ending, it felt like you were being reborn. You were mourning over something that had happened, rather than crying over something that was happening to you.

The boys sat there watching you cry. They had never felt so lost, so helpless. They wanted to fix it, but they didn’t know what happened or where to start. So they just stood there. Some of them were crying out of frustration and helplessness. Others had a heartbreaking, blank look to mask everything that they were feeling.

Yoongi turned to Jungkook. “Help her. Tell her that you love her and support her through whatever just happened.” Then he turned to the others and told them to get out. You didn’t need an audience. Besides, Jungkook would be able to help you.

If nothing else, Yoongi was sure of that. Jungkook would do anything you needed.

The boys shuffled out of the apartment, tossing worried looks in your direction, but when Yoongi leveled them with a glare they started moving. Some of them looked like they wanted to argue, but Yoongi again just glared at them and they accepted defeat. Yoongi is a difficult man to argue with.

Jungkook didn’t ask what was wrong. He wrapped you in his arms and took you inside. Then, he held you close until you stopped crying. By that time you were asleep and his shirt was wet. He held you close as you slept, afraid that if he let go you might start crying again. He held you close even after he fell asleep, his body intuitively knew that he never wanted to let go ever again.

When he woke up again, you were still asleep so he continued to hold you in his arms.

And when you woke up, you snuggled deeper into his chest. You felt him laugh which made you laugh too. “Are you okay?” His voice was deep, like he had just woken up and it made you want to look up and see what his hair looked like in the morning. But you stayed snuggled into his chest instead, not wanting to meet his eyes.

You nodded, but apparently that want enough for him because he pulled you up so he could see and asked again.

“Yeah, I’m feeling better.”You hesitated, but Jungkook could tell you wanted to say something so he stayed quiet and let you think. “I know that you want to know what happened, but I’m not ready to talk about it.”

“Okay.” He didn’t look mad and that made you relax a little. “But whenever you’re ready. Any of us would be privileged to hear. We’re all here for you.”

“Why do you care?” It’s not that you didn’t know. You know that Jungkook loves you. You know that you love Jungkook, but there was that part of you that would never believe him until he said it out loud. And despite everything that you had gone through you wanted to believe it.

You had mourned the girl who lost everything in the states. You had mourned the girl that believed love was apologies and flowers to make up for missing your anniversary rather than for your anniversary. So, you were ready to move on and experience everything that love actually was. Doesn’t mean it didn’t terrify you though.

“I love you.” Jungkook’s voice was strong. A true declaration. “And I know that you love me too.”

“I can’t Jungkook.” God, it was everything you wanted to hear, but it also hurt to hear it. Because you were selfish. You wanted Jungkook to love you because you wanted to experience that love. Yet you also weren’t sure if you could say it back despite how you felt. The last time you told a man that you loved him, he explained that you loved too much. That it felt suffocating and you needed to be less. When you had cried he kissed you softly and apologized for being too harsh, stating that he had forgotten how soft you were. It had been a sugarcoated insult, and one you hadn’t noticed at the time because you were so desperate for affection. You had wanted him to love you so much that you missed the toxicity underneath his false apologies.

Jungkook makes a distressed noise and holds you tighter as he watches you spiral. “I can’t.” Your voice cracked, but neither of you moved. You couldn’t bring yourself to move and Jungkook didn’t want to move until he understood what you were telling him, but his heart was breaking because of how broken you sounded.

“I don’t want to love anyone again. I’ve always gotten hurt. And…” You hesitated because it was painfully to recall the words that had been thrown in your face. “My love is a burden. I am a burden.” You tore your eyes away from Jungkook, finding the floor because you were too humiliated to look at him. So, you didn’t see the devastation that crossed his face. You didn’t see the tears that welled up in Jungkook’s eyes when he realized what you were saying. He could tell that a part of you believed it and that was utterly devastating to Jungkook, it felt like he had just gotten punched in the gut.

You tried to get out of Jungkook’s arm, but he just held you closer. You started to feel like you were drowning in your own selfishness. You wanted to hear this and yet now you can’t face it. You had practically begged him to say it. You’ve never hated yourself more.

Just moments earlier you thought that you were ready, but now that the moments come you don’t feel ready at all. It’s cruel, but its true. Everyone feels prepared until you’re faced with it. It’s easier to feel ready compared to actually being ready.

“You aren’t a burden.” Jungkook tilted your face up so that he could see your eyes. He wanted to make sure that you were hearing him. You had this unbelievably annoying tendency to avoid all reassurance because self doubt was easier. That’s something many people may not realize. Some people have struggled for so long that they have normalized all their negative thoughts and that they are too scared to deviate from their normal, even for reassurance.

It was one of the main things that you were working on with your therapist before you left to Seoul.

You search Jungkook’s eyes for doubt or malice or literally anything that will reaffirm your own belief that while the world is a cruel place, people are even crueler. Deep down you know that you wouldn’t find any, not with Jungkook. But a part of you wants to be able to see that Jungkook is lying because then you could make yourself walk away and protect your heart, even though it may be from love. But instead you are stuck here looking at him. You find that you are wanting to believe him. You want him to be telling the truth because you don’t want to feel sad anymore.

That scares you more than anything else.

“You aren’t a burden.” Jungkook repeats his words because he can tell that your mind is beginning to get distracted and he really wants you to hear him. His hands cradle your face, softly rubbing your cheeks as you look up at him. It’s like he think that if he touches you with enough softness it may weaken your defenses enough to see how to fix everything. Even though deep down, he knows that this isn’t something that he can simply fix for you. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to.

You don’t know what to say to him. You’ve never heard someone tell you that you aren’t a burden. You aren’t sure what is expected of you. But then again, you think that is what he is trying to tell you. That there aren’t any expectations. There is no right way to respond. All of your possible responses are right. So you take the leap of faith.

You press your lips to his, trying to say everything that you don’t know how to vocalize. You don’t know how to say what you are thinking. You don’t even know what you are thinking, but you trust that Jungkook will be able to get the message. And he does because one hand slips to your waist, holding you even closer. You hadn’t thought that was possible.

You break away first, a shy smile on your lips and flushed cheek. He loves how close you both are. He loves that he can see the vulnerability in your eyes. It’s the first time since you were children that you are letting him in.

“I love you.” Your voice is soft, but it holds this sharpness to it that lets him know how serious you are. You never thought you’d ever be able to say that again. It isn’t just a declaration to Jungkook, but it’s also your own little act of defiance to your past self who thought that you would never recover. It’s defiance to the last man to hold your heart. The man who no longer owns any part of your heart.

“I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.” You murmur, unable to prevent yourself from apologizing. Jungkook understands, so he simply kisses the apology away. “I love you.”

“I love you so much.”

[our-red-string-of-fate-jm]

You have already given me everything that I could possibly need and I know fully well how your heart is being kept safe just for me.

No one can tell me any different, because there are things I know without really understanding why and yet they reach way down- deep inside of me, like they have been a part of me this entire time.

This is one of those things and I will never doubt you again, because you have spoken very openly and plainly- making it very obvious that you want 'the one' to know how you feel.

You may not know my identity yet, but you've damn well explained every single experience I have had over the past several years in this new album of yours...

You've explained our sacred space in the astral realm and everything that takes place there and that's how I know the 'call' you sent out is for me- because this album has me sobbing like a child every time I listen to it and your music has never affected me in such a deep and compelling manner.

You've belonged to me since the beginning of time itself and you always will, for you are a part of me and that is what makes me so emotional. I have recognized myself in you all of this time, but suddenly everything becomes so much more clearer now that you have spoken your true feelings.

Your words soothed my heart and confirmed everything I was waiting to hear for years now...

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

This day....

I'm having whiplash going from JK's lives to the mv teaser.

[serendipetite]

jimin’s growth from “people will think i’m strange if i call jungkook cute” to “i used to have an idea of what it meant to be a man but now i know i can just be me” ; and “guys don’t kiss” to “what the heck is men?!” ; and tearing up looking at an old photo of himself saying “you tried so hard....my heart breaks for you” just makes me want to wrap him in the softest blanket and keep him safe and tucked in my heart for always

[bts-polls]

Please let me know if I missed any of the named shows. There's just so much content and only so much memory in my lil brain!

[bangtanpurplearchive]

2020 BTS comebacks 

Map of the Soul 7, 

Map of the Soul: The Journey,

 Dynamite,

 BE, 

Solos and Collabs

200106-'WINTER FLOWER (Feat.RM)' by Younha has been released.

Twitter:  RM.

200306-'WHO by Lauv (feat. BTS)' has been released.  BTS x Lauv video messages: 1, 2, 3, 4.

200313-'V (BTS) - Sweet Night OST' has been released.

200708-Article - BTS’s V Sets New Record For Most No. 1s On iTunes With Self-Composed “Sweet Night” OST.

 200506-'IU _ eight (Prod.&Feat. SUGA of BTS)' has been released.

200709-BTS' video message for 'Your Eyes Tell'.

200916 -MAX's 'Blueberry Eyes (feat. Suga)' has been released.

200928 - BTS' TikTok post ('Savage Love Remix' with BTS announcement). Jason Derulo and Jawash658 instagram update

201002-'BTS 'Savage Love' (Laxed – Siren Beat) BTS Remix Lyric Video'.

201012 'Savage Love (BTS Remix)’ debuts at #1 on the Billboard Hot100 chart! 

 201012-Article - BTS Makes History As “Savage Love” And “Dynamite” Rule At No. 1 And No. 2 On Billboard’s Hot 100.

201024 -BTS' video message for the 'Your Eyes Tell movie premiere'.

201204- Jin released Abyss Soundcloud. Youtube. 

201224-'Christmas Love by Jimin'.

201225 'Snow Flower (feat. Peakboy) by V'.

Map of the Soul: 7 4th  studio album by BTS. 200221 - 4 versions

Tracklist

Intro: Persona (solo by RM)

작은 것들을 위한 시 (Boy With Luv) (feat. Halsey)

Make It Right

Jamais Vu (song by Jin, j-hope and Jung Kook)

Dionysus

Interlude: Shadow (solo by SUGA)

Black Swan Pre-release and Follow-up

Filter (solo by Jimin)

시차 (My Time) (solo by Jung Kook)

Louder than bombs

ON Title

욱 (UGH!) (song by RM, SUGA and j-hope)

00:00 (Zero O'Clock) (song by Jin, Jimin, V and Jung Kook)

Inner Child (solo by V)

친구 (Friends) (song by Jimin and V)

Moon (solo by Jin)

Respect (song by RM and SUGA)

We are Bulletproof: the Eternal

Outro: Ego (solo by j-hope)

ON (feat. Sia) (Digital Version only)

 200108 Article - BTS Announces Release Date For “Map Of The Soul: 7” (Release: February 21st).

200109-'BTS MAP OF THE SOUL : 7 COMEBACK MAP'.

Twitter: JHope (trans). JIMIN 1.(link to Yoongi’s comeback trailer) moment 1. 

200110-'BTS MAP OF THE SOUL : 7 'Interlude : Shadow' Comeback Trailer'. Photo Sketch'.

200111-'[EPISODE] BTS ‘Interlude : Shadow’ Comeback Trailer Shooting'.

200111-Article - BTS’s Comeback Trailer “Interlude: Shadow” By Suga Achieves Massive 24-Hour YouTube Debut.

200114-'CONNECT, BTS' website is now live (more details, docent videos, pics). Interview with Jakob Kudsk Steensen @ London'.

200115-'[CONNECT, BTS] Interview with Stephanie Rosenthal @ Berlin'

200117-'BTS 'Black Swan' Art Film performed by MN Dance Company'.

200117-Article - BTS To Perform “Black Swan” For 1st Time On “The Late Late Show With James Corden”.

200118 Article - BTS Breaks Record As “Black Swan” Soars To Top Of iTunes Charts All Over The World (94 no.1's).

Instagram: Big Hit.  photos of BTS rehearsing 'Black Swan' in LA.

200119 BTS 'Black Swan' Art Film Reaction -

200121- '[CONNECT, BTS] Interview with Tomás Saraceno @ Buenos Aires'.

Instagram: -BigHit posted photos of BTS rehearsing 'Black Swan' in LA.

200121- '[CONNECT, BTS] Interview with Tomás Saraceno @ Buenos Aires'.

Instagram:  BigHit posted photos of BTS rehearsing 'Black Swan' in LA. 

200122-'BTS MAP OF THE SOUL TOUR SEOUL SPOT'.

200122-BigHit has announced the 'BTS MAP OF THE SOUL TOUR' dates.

200123 Instagram: - BigHit posted photos of BTS rehearsing 'Black Swan' in LA.

200124 Instagram: BigHit posted photos of BTS rehearsing 'Black Swan' in LA. Weibo: trans 

200128-'[CONNECT, BTS] Interview with Ann Veronica Janssens @ Seoul'.

200128-BTS' video message for the 'CONNECT, BTS' Press Conference.

200128- Article - BTS’s Pre-Release Single “Black Swan” Enters Billboard’s Hot 100 (#.57).

200131-BigHit posted clips of BTS. Black Swan Practice. 

200201-  BigHit posted a video of BTS rehearsing 'Black Swan'.

200202-BigHit posted a video of BTS rehearsing 'Black Swan'.

200202-[CONNECT, BTS] All info + videos.

200203-'BTS MAP OF THE SOUL : 7 'Outro : Ego' Comeback Trailer'. Photo Sketch'. facebook

200203-BigHit posted a video of BTS rehearsing 'Black Swan'.

200204-BigHit posted a video of BTS rehearsing 'Black Swan'.

200204-'[CONNECT, BTS] Press conference @ London'.

200204 [EPISODE] BTS  BE- Outro EGO comeback video shooting 

200205-'[CONNECT, BTS] Interview with Antony Gormley @ New York'

200205-BigHit posted a video of BTS rehearsing 'Black Swan'.

200206-BigHit posted a video of BTS rehearsing 'Black Swan'

200207-'[CHOREOGRAPHY] BTS 'Black Swan' Dance Practice'.

200210-'BTS MAP OF THE SOUL 7 Concept Photo # 1: 1, 2.

200211-'BTS MAP OF THE SOUL 7 Concept Photo version 2: 1, 2.

200212-'BTS MAP OF THE SOUL 7 Concept Photo # 3: 1, 2.

200213-'BTS MAP OF THE SOUL 7 Concept Photo # 4: 1, 2.

200213-BigHit posted more details for 'BTS MAP OF THE SOUL 7'.

200213  Article - BTS will premiere a new song on 'The Tonight Show' and go on a tour of NYC].

200214 BTS' tweets: 1, 2.

200214-'BTS MAP OF THE SOUL 7 Concept Photo Sketch 1'.

200216- '[CONNECT, BTS] All Docent Videos'.

200217-BigHit posted the 'MAP OF THE SOUL 7 Tracklist'.

200217-Article - BTS Surpasses 4 Million Stock Pre-Orders For Upcoming Album “Map Of The Soul: 7”.

200219-'BTS MAP OF THE SOUL : 7 Concept Photo Sketch 2'.

200220-'[EPISODE] BTS 'MAP OF THE SOUL : 7' Jacket shooting sketch' 

200220-BigHit posted photos of BTS.

Twitter BigHit's today show  tweet. -BigHit's Fresh out tweet.

200221-BTS Live. (let’s do a viewable purple radio)

200221-BTS' 'MAP OF THE SOUL: 7' has been released (listen here). BTS' video message before the release of the MV.

200221-'BTS 'ON' Kinetic Manifesto Film : Come Prima'.

200221-BTS' video messages for the release of 'MAP OF THE SOUL 7': TikTok, Spotify (1, 2, 3), Melon, Deezer, Amazon Music (1, 2), Anghami, NetEase, Apple Music. Spotify.

200221- BTS on 'TODAY Show': Pre-Interview:  Interview. Post-Interview. Al Rocker posted a photo. 

200221- BTS Interviews: Billboard, ENTERCOM (1, 2), Variety, Access, ET, EW, Enews, Extra TV, MTV News, Spotify, Grammys.  'MTV Fresh Out'. Zane Lowe.   iHeartRadio Takeover.

200221-Article - BTS Breaks Record As “Map Of The Soul: 7” Sweeps iTunes Charts Across The Globe.

200222 BTS VLIVE  comeback special 

200222-'BTS 'ON' Commentary Film : Dialogue' 

200222-'BANGTAN BOMB] 'ON' Kinetic Manifesto Film (BTS focus)'

200222-BTS visiting 'CONNECT, BTS' in New York.

200222-Article - BTS Sets New Hanteo Records With Amazing First Day Sales For “Map Of The Soul: 7”.

200223-BigHit posted clips of BTS visiting New York's 'CONNECT, BTS' and behind the scenes of BTS' VLive Comeback Special.

200223-'BTS MAP OF THE SOUL : 7 Concept Photo Sketch 3'.

200224 BTS' Global Press Conference for 'MAP OF THE SOUL 7'. -Photos.

200226-'[CHOREOGRAPHY] BTS ‘ON’ Dance Practice' 

   200226-BTS' video messages for 'MAP OF THE SOUL TOUR' North America & Europe.

200226-'BTS 'ON' Kinetic Manifesto Film : Come Prima Photo Sketch'.

200227-Article - BTS Breaks Gaon Chart Record For 1st-Week Sales With “Map Of The Soul: 7”.

200228- 'BTS 'ON' Official MV' has been released.

200228 BTS MAP OF THE SOUL TOUR - SEOUL Concert Cancellation Notice. 

  200228 Article - BTS’s “ON” MV Shatters Record As It Hits 10 Million Views. “ON” MV Makes Impressive 24-Hour YouTube Debut. ON” Kinetic Manifesto Film Surpasses 100 Million Views.

200228 Article - BTS Smashes Their Own Record For Highest 1st-Week Sales In Hanteo History With “Map Of The Soul: 7”.

200228 Article - BTS’s “Map Of The Soul: 7” Makes History As It Tops Album Charts In Germany, UK, France, And More.

200229-'[BANGTAN BOMB] Preparing for CONNECT, BTS'

200301 Article - BTS Tops Billboard 200 With “Map Of The Soul: 7” After Achieving Biggest Week Of Any Group In The Past 4 Years.

200302-'[EPISODE] BTS 'ON' MV Shooting Sketch'. ‘ Photo Sketch'.

200302 NAVER x Dispatch - CONNECT, BTS: New York Clearing [HD] 

200302 Article - BTS Makes Record-Breaking Debut On Billboard’s Hot 100 As “ON” Takes No. 4 (+ "My Time" & "Filter" takes No. 84 & No. 87)!

200304-'[BANGTAN BOMB] Jin's selfie time'. ‘ BTS at CONNECT, BTS in Seoul'.

200304 BTS' Album Review. 

200304 Article - YouTube Announces Official View Count For BTS’s “ON” MV 24-Hour Debut.

200305-'BTS 'Black Swan' Official MV' has been released.

200306-'[BANGTAN BOMB] BTS ‘ON’ MV reaction'.

200309-Article - BTS’s “Map Of The Soul: 7” Scores Top 3 Spot In 2nd Week On Billboard 200.

200310-RM was live. ‘Namjun’s 7 behind’

200310-'[EPISODE] BTS 'Black Swan' MV Shooting Sketch'.

200310- Article - BTS Ranks High On Billboard’s Artist 100 (3), Hot 100 (68), And More In Second Week For “Map Of The Soul: 7”.

200312-'[BANGTAN BOMB] 3J Unit Photo Shooting behind' .

200312- Article - BTS Takes Just 9 Days To Break Records For Highest Yearly + Monthly Album Sales In Gaon Chart History (BTS' 'PERSONA' held the record before).

200314-'[CHOREOGRAPHY] BTS ‘ON’ Dance Practice (Fix ver.)' .

200316-Article - BTS’s “Map Of The Soul: 7” Spends 3rd Week In Top 10 Of Billboard 200 (8).

200317-'[BANGTAN BOMB] BTS ‘Black Swan’ MV reaction'.

200318-'[BANGTAN BOMB] BTS at the CONNECT, BTS exhibition in New York'.

 200324 BTS MAP OF THE SOUL TOUR Update Announcement. 

   200327 Notice The BTS MAP OF THE SOUL TOUR – NORTH AMERICA.  

200221-Article - BTS’s “Boy With Luv” Becomes Fastest Korean Boy Group MV To Hit 700 Million Views.

200507- [CONNECT, BTS]   Interview with Jakob Kudsk Steensen @ London . Stephanie Rosenthal @ Berlin. Tomás Saraceno @ Buenos Aires. Antony Gormley @ New York. Ann Veronica Janssens @ Seoul 

200706-Article - BTS’s “Black Swan” Beats 5-Year iTunes Record Held By Adele.

200901 Denicheur posted photos of BTS.

Agust D2

200522-Agust D 'D-2' MIXTAPE has been released (listen here).

200522-'Agust D 'DAECHWITA' MV' .

200522-Suga's video messages for Spotify & Apple Music.

200522-TIME, Billboard  interview  with Suga.

200522 BigHit posted photos of Suga.

200522  MAX posted a photo with Suga.

200523- BigHit posted photos of Suga.

200524-'[EPISODE] Agust D 'DAECHWITA' MV Shooting Sketch'.

200525-BigHit posted photos of Suga.

200526-BigHit posted photos of Suga. 1, 2

200527- 'Agust D 'D-2' Mixtape Interview'.

200603- Article - BTS’ Suga Debuts On Billboard’s Hot 100 With “Daechwita”.

 Map of the Soul: The journey

200508 MAP OF THE SOUL : 7 ~ THE JOURNEY to be released on July 15

200508-BTS on NTV 'Oha!4 News'.

200522  BTS JAPAN OFFICIAL posted a photo of BTS.

200528-'BTS 'MAP OF THE SOUL: 7 ~ THE JOURNEY' Album covers'.

200605-'MOTS: The Journey - BTS Music Journey Preview'.

200613-BTS JAPAN OFFICIAL posted photos of RM.

200614-BTS JAPAN OFFICIAL posted photos of Suga.

200615-BTS JAPAN OFFICIAL posted photos of Jin.

200616-BTS JAPAN OFFICIAL posted photos of J-Hope.

200617-BTS JAPAN OFFICIAL posted photos of Jimin.

200618-BTS JAPAN OFFICIAL posted photos of V.

200619-BTS' Japanese single 'STAY GOLD'.

200619-BTS' video messages for the release of 'Stay Gold': 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.

200619-BTS JAPAN OFFICIAL posted photos of Jungkook.

200620-'Special Movie BTS MUSIC JOURNEY'.

200622- BTS on 'CDTV Live! Live': Performance: 'Stay Gold'.

200622-BTS on 'CDTV Live! Live': Performance: 'Stay Gold'.

200626-'BTS 'Stay Gold' Official MV' has been released.

200705-'BTS JOURNEY Journey of 7'.

200715 BTS' 'MAP OF THE SOUL : 7 - THE JOURNEY' has been released (listen here, watch here).

200715-BTS' video messages for 'MAP OF THE SOUL : 7 - THE JOURNEY'.

200715-  BTS interview on TBS' 'Good Luck!'

200715-Article - BTS’s “Map Of The Soul: 7 -The Journey-” Reigns At No. 1 On Oricon’s Daily Album Chart.

200801 BTS 4th Japan Album – Map Of The Soul: 7 ‘The Journey’ Online Talk Event (JAPAN FANCLUB ONLY) (filmed 200718)

201117- Article - BTS Makes History As “Map Of The Soul: 7” Becomes Their 2nd Album To Go Platinum In The United States.

Smeraldo Blog 2020

200706-Smeraldo blog:Fans began noticing the blog posts had all been deleted again.

200710-Smeraldo Blog First story reuploaded. Date still reads August, and the conference is still named “Annual Flower Conference.”

200712-: Second story reuploaded. Flower shop opening is still set for August.

200715-Smerado Blog: Third story reuploaded. Difference: Uploaded on a different date, with completely different content. The florist visits the shop and sees a young man outside in the rain.

200717-: Smeraldo blog Fourth story reuploaded. Difference: This version is the same as the third story from the 2017/2018 versions of the blog.

200720-: Smeraldo blog Fifth story reuploaded. Difference: This version is the same as the fourth story from the 2017/2018 versions of the blog.

200726-: Smeraldo blog Sixth story reuploaded. Difference: This version is the same as the fifth story from the 2017/2018 versions of the blog.

200731: Smeraldo blog. Seventh story reuploaded. Difference: This version is the same as the sixth story from the 2017/2018 versions of the blog.

200803 Smeraldo Blog:  Eighth story reuploaded: Difference: This version is the same as the seventh story from the 2017/2018 versions of the blog.

200812-Smeraldo Blog : Ninth story posted. Difference: This story is completely different from the previous versions.

200822-:Smeraldo Blog:  Tenth story posted. Difference: The story is completely different than previous versions. See post in translations archive here.

210903: Smeraldo Blog Eleventh story (closing post) posted.

 Dynamite

200802  DYNAMITE ANNOUNCED. 

200803-BigHit posted a teaser photo revealing the title of BTS' new single being released on August 21st.

200805 - BigHit BTS Dynamite Promotion Schedule'.

200805- Article release of Dynamite

200807- BTS 'DYNAMITE Instagram filter'.

200809-MCA Music posted a video of BTS.

200811-BigHit posted 'BTS 'DYNAMITE' Teaser Photos'.

200813-BigHit posted 'BTS 'DYNAMITE' Group Teaser Photo 1'.

200816-BigHit posted 'BTS 'DYNAMITE' Group Teaser Photo 2'.

200819-'BTS 'Dynamite' Official Teaser'.

200820-BTS at the 'Dynamite' Online Global Press Conference (pics 1, 2). 3. 

200820-USA TODAY's interview with BTS. 

200820 - Video messages:  FNS. YouTubeMusic. MCA Music Inc.

200820 audio messages for HOThits1005, 106.1 BLI, Z104.3 BALTIMORE, 96.5 KISS FM, 93.3 FLZ.

200821-'BTS 'Dynamite' Official MV' has been released.

200821-'BTS Live: 'Dynamite' MV Commentary'. BTS leaving after finishing the 'Dynamite' MV Commentary live.

200821-'MelOn - BTS Introduces 'Dynamite''.

200821-Comp of BTS' video messages for 'Dynamite': Melon, Apple Music, Amazon Music, AWA, Line Music JPN, Rakuten JPN, Recochoku JPN, Youtube JPN.

 200821 YouTube live. 

200821 interviews:  Zane Lowe.  Zack Sang. E News. Access Hollywood . Entertainment tonight. SiriusXM. MTV Fresh out. 

200821-Comp of interviews with BTS for 'Dynamite' (alt).

200821 - Interview  (written) GRAMMYS. 

200821- Photos: Melon . NetEase.

200822-BTS' 'Dance 'Dynamite' with me' videos on TikTok: 1, 2.

200822-BigHit posted 'BTS 'Dynamite' Official MV Photo Sketch'.

200822-BigHit posted 'DYNAMITE Remix Teaser Photos'.

200822-Articles  - BTS’s “Dynamite” Gains Record Breaking Number Of Views In First 24 Hours (98M). “Dynamite” As It Becomes Their 26th Group MV To Reach 100 Million Views (in 24.5hrs).

200822-Article - BTS Overtakes Taylor Swift For Biggest Spotify Debut Of 2020 As “Dynamite” Debuts At No. 1 On Global Top 50.

200823-'BTS Sing 'Dynamite' with me'.

200824-'Dynamite (EDM Remix)' and 'Dynamite (Acoustic Remix)'

200824-'BTS Sing 'Dynamite' with me - RM'.

200825 'BTS 'Dynamite' Official MV (B-side)' has been released.

200825-'BTS Sing 'Dynamite' with me - Jimin'.

200825-BigHit posted photos of BTS.

200826-'[EPISODE] BTS 'Dynamite' MV Shooting Sketch'.

200826  interview:   MTV. NME 

200826-'BTS Sing 'Dynamite' with me - Jin'.

200826-Article - BTS’s “Dynamite” MV Smashes Record As It Reaches 200 Million Views.

200827 -BTS' video message for 'Dynamite' 'Time Synced Lyrics' on 'Apple Music'.  'Good Morning Britain'.

200827-'[BANGTAN BOMB] 'Dynamite' MV Reaction'.

200827-'BTS Sing 'Dynamite' with me - V'.

200827-Article - BTS Scores Perfect All-Kill With English-Language Single “Dynamite”.

200828-'BTS Sing 'Dynamite' with me - J-Hope'.

200828- Interview: MTV News'. ‘Ryan Seacrest’. 'iHeartCountdown (audio)': 1, 2, 3. ’OfficialCharts' (written).

  200828-BigHit posted photos of BTS.

200829-'BTS Sing 'Dynamite' with me - Suga' .

200829-BigHit posted photos of BTS.

200830 Big Hit instagram posts stories

200830'BTS Sing 'Dynamite' with me - Jungkook'.

200830 Article - BTS’s “Dynamite” MV Breaks Record As It Hits 250 Million Views.

200831 'Dynamite' debuts on Billboard Hot 100 at #1!

200831-BigHit posted photos of BTS.

      200901- article. BTS' 'Dynamite' Blasts in at No. 1 on Billboard Hot 100!

200902-'BTS 'Dynamite' ONLINE GLOBAL MEDIA DAY' (pics: 1, 2).

200902-'[CHOREOGRAPHY] BTS 'Dynamite' Dance Practice' 

200902-BigHit posted 'Dynamite Promotion Schedule - September'.

200903-I BTS (방탄소년단) Sing 'Dynamite' with me (feat. ARMY) I

200904-'Recording AcademyXBTS: “Dynamite” (Live) - Press Play'.  video message. 

200904 - BigHit posted a video of BTS.

200904 -'BTS Sing 'Dynamite' with me (feat. ARMY)'.

200908-BTS' 'Dynamite' No. 1 on Billboard Hot 100 for Second Week!

200928- Billboard Hot 100 3rd week #1

200920 -'[BTS 'Dynamite' ('70s remix) MV'.

200926 -'BTS 'Dynamite' Official MV (Choreography ver.)'.

200928- Billboard Hot 100 3rd week #1

201006-Article - BTS' “Dynamite” Takes No. 2 In 6th Week On Billboard’s Hot 100, Becomes Their 1st Top 40 Radio Songs Hit.

201019-Article - BTS’s “Dynamite” Continues Amazing Run On Billboard’s Hot 100 With No. 5 Spot In 8th Week.

201026- Article - BTS Spends 9th Week In Top 10 of Billboard Hot 100 (No.7).

201103- Article - BTS’s “Dynamite” Earns 10th Week In Top 20 Of Billboard’s Hot 100 (No.12).

201110-Article - BTS’s “Dynamite” Makes History On Billboard’s Hot 100 And Pop Songs Radio Airplay Chart.

201117 Article - BTS’s “Dynamite” Sets New Record On Billboard’s Pop Songs Radio Airplay Chart, Spends 12th Week In -Top 20 Of Hot 100.

201207- Article - BTS’s “Dynamite” Makes History On Billboard’s Radio Songs Chart And Takes Top 10 Spot On Hot 100 In Its 15th Week.

201222  Article - BTS’s “Dynamite” Soars Back To Top 10 Of Billboard’s Hot 100 In Its 17th Week On Chart (No.9).

BE

200928 -BigHit announced BTS' upcoming new album 'BE'.

201020-BigHit posted a concept photo for BTS' upcoming album 'BE'.

201024-  BigHit posted a photo of V & Jimin.

201025-BigHit posted a photo of RM & Jungkook.

201026-BigHit posted a photo of Jin & Suga.

201027-BigHit posted a photo of J-Hope.

201028-BigHit posted letters from RM, Jimin, & V.

201029-BigHit posted letters from Jin & Jungkook.

201030 - BigHit posted letters from Suga & J-Hope.

201031-BigHit posted a teaser photo for BTS' new upcoming song 'Life Goes On'.

201101-'BTS BE Concept Clip (Reflection ver.), (Mirror ver.)'.

Instagram: Big Hit Tae update facebook Tae concept pic and video

201102-'BTS BE Concept Photo - V: 1, 2' (audio message).

201103-Big Hit Instagram update Jimin.  Facebook Jimin concept pic

201104-Big Hit Instagram update RM. facebook rm concept pic. 

201104 'BTS BE Concept Photo - RM: 1, 2' (audio message).

201105 Weverse: RM 1. (trans). 2. 

201105 Big Hit Instagram update JK. facebook. JK concept pic

201105- 'BTS BE Concept Photo - Jungkook: 1, 2' (audio message).

201106 Big Hit Instagram update Jin.  facebook Jin concept pic

201106-'BTS BE Concept Photo - Jin: 1, 2' (audio message).

201107-Big Hit Instagram update Yoongi.  Facebook  yoongi concept pic

201107-'BTS BE Concept Photo - Suga: 1, 2' (audio message).

201108 Big Hit Instagram update JHope. Facebook JHope concept pic

201108-'BTS BE Concept Photo - Jhope: 1, 2' (audio message).

201109-BigHit posted 'BTS BE Concept Clip (Room ver.)'. Facebook ot7 concept vid

201111- BigHit posted the tracklist for 'BE'.

201118- 'BTS 'Life Goes On' Official Teaser 1' has been released.

201118- BigHit posted photos of BTS.

201119 Instagram: Big Hit

201119 'BTS 'Life Goes On' Official Teaser 2' 

201120-'BTS Global Press Conference 'BE': pt.1, pt.2 (pics).

201120-BTS' album 'BE' has been released.

201120-'BTS 'Life Goes On' Official MV' has been released.

201120 'Melon Music - BTS Introduce Their New Album BE'.

201120BTS' 'BE' promo video messages: 'Spotify (1, 2)', 'Amazon Music', 'TIDAL', 'Melon', 'NetEase', 'Deezer', 'JioSaavn', 'FLO', 'Youtube Music'.

201120 BTS' video messages for 'BE' release Japanese promo.

201120  Melon posted photos of BTS.

201121- BigHit posted a video of BTS.+ a video of Jin.

201121- 'BTS BE Concept Photo Sketch'.

201122 - Twitter: BigHit: 1, 2.  Tae: 1, 2, 3. Instagram Big Hit. Jin.  Tik Tok:  RM 

201122 - '[EPISODE] BTS ���BE’ Jacket Shooting Sketch’.

201122-'BTS ‘Life Goes On’ Official MV : on my pillow'.

201122- Article - BTS’s “Life Goes On” MV Makes Impressive 24-Hour YouTube Debut. Their 27th Full Group MV To Reach 100 Million Views.

201123- Interviews: AMAs(extra). ITV News' (extra). Access - 'BTS Hopes New Album 'Be' Will Help Fans During Covid-19'.

201123 - ExtraTV - 'BTS Talks New Album ‘Be’ and Single ‘Life Goes On’'.  -E! - 'BTS Talks "Life Goes On" Single on New "BE" Album Out Now'.

201123- Esquire - 'BTS Reacts to BTS on the Internet' (esquire pics). (Filmed same day as NDTV interview aired 201131) Esquire's interview with BTS (written).

2011126-'BTS 'Life Goes On' Official MV : in the forest'.

201127-'[BANGTAN BOMB] SUGA's "BE" Album Review'.

201127-Article - BTS Achieves Impressive 1st-Week Sales With “BE”.

201128-''Life Goes On' Official MV Photo Sketch'. Facebook media set. 

201129-'[EPISODE] BTS 'Life Goes On' MV Shooting Sketch'.

201129-BTS earns fifth No. 1 album on Billboard 200 chart with 'BE'!

201130-'BTS 'Life Goes On' Official MV : like an arrow'.

201130 Billboard BTS #1 Life Goes On. 

201130- article BTS’s “Life Goes On” scores historic No. 1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 + all songs from “BE” chart as well!

201201-Billboard tweet. 

201208-'[BANGTAN BOMB] "BE" Album Review Part.2 (3X3 Unit ver.)'.

BigHit posted photos of BTS.

201213-'BTS BE-hind Story'.

201215-'Genius - BTS "Life Goes On" Official Lyrics and Meaning'.

[curryshesus]

jeon jungkook fics that had me going feral

hi guys, here's a part 2 to my favorite jjk fics on tumblr! note that many of these fics contain 18+ content. you are responsible for the content you consume! as always, if you enjoyed any of these fics as much as i did, please take a moment to send some love to the authors! part 1 | other bts members

➺ cold nights & blurred lines - by @awrkive

summary: jungkook and you have been in a sexual relationship with each other for four months now, and it’s casual for the most part. but as time passes, you can’t help but feel that some of the lines suddenly got blurred in the process. is it a cliché to blur the lines with your fuck buddy? it definitely is. will you do something about it? both of your emotional constipation have a hard time saying yes.

➺ night crawlers - by @alphabetboyluvr

summary: jungkook’s always been good at running. track, field, red lights, shit outta luck. drugs, now, too. but he doesn’t expect to run into you. in your shared lecture halls, sure. maybe. but not down the back alleys of daerim at ass o’clock in the morning. there are only three types of women he ever sees in daerim: hookers, sugar-babies and addicts. you aren't any of those; you're a trust-fund baby who can get percocet on private repeat prescription, if you really want it. he's sure of it. so it then further begs the question: why the fuck are you here?

➺ this is how you fall in love - by @jeonqkooks

summary: after years of drinking and clubbing most days of the week and leaving every gig with a different girl on his arm, jungkook feels what it’s like to want someone with his entire being.

➺ the dilf installments - by @mercurygguk

summary: this series follows jungkook’s life as a divorced father. but wait, how exactly does one balance being a father, a boyfriend, a friend, and a respectable boss at the same time? read the installments below to find out!

➺ ultimatum - by @parkmuse

summary: your pervy, idiotic boyfriend just so happens to also be your friendly neighborhood Spider-man (in bed).

➺ a hero's journey - by @hansolmates

summary: jungkook and jisoo are the mightiest power couple. however, one drunken confession and that whole facade fades in an instant. you realize that maybe you need to break from your unvaried life for a bit and be the hero of your own love story

➺ tempest - by @kooktrash

summary: you’ve always considered your life to be more mundane than you would like to admit. it was a constant cycle of the same things over and over again that when you meet jeon jungkook at a bar, of all places, you didn’t expect to see just how much he would change your life and those around you. he’s got an air of mystery around him with his charming good looks and a violent past that you slowly begun to unravel when it feels like everything is going perfect.

➺ by its cover - by @gimmesumsuga

summary: the one where Jungkook makes a horrifically bad first impression.

➺ slow dancing - by @yoonia

summary: when your countdown appeared on your wrist right in the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you had thought that perhaps the universe was on your side, especially since the final seconds were already ticking so soon. You just never expected to have your first meeting with your soulmate to be the day when you had to let him go. But hope was not lost when you still found love without the bond, and Jungkook showed you that it was possible to find happiness beyond the system that was written for you. Except that the universe doesn’t seem to have enough of its game, when your past sacrifice comes back hitting you straight in the face, just when you had believed that you had written off the perfect ending to your bittersweet tale.

➺ e s p r e s s o - by @joonberriess

➺ hold me closer - by @ahundredtimesover

summary: when you're asked to look after your parents' house and meet them before they go on vacation, you, Jimin, and Jungkook take the trip to your hometown of Busan and relive memories of your youth. While your new relationship has you feeling like a lovesick teenager with all the affection that Jungkook shows you, you're still you - a professional trying to make it in the corporate world, and an eldest child trying not to disappoint her parents. And that turns out to be your undoing, as a little blunder causes a rift between you and Jungkook, resulting in a trip that you might as well have messed up… Not if your brother can help it, though.

[niveditaabaidya]

BTS Member Suga Initiates Military Enlistment Process. 😀 #shorts #youtub...

[jimin-my-sunshine]

They ARE twins and I'm so lucky to be apart of their beautiful union as their other half ♡

"You are me and I am you..."

[seoul-bros]

KCON France - BTS in Paris, June 2016

I have been ARMY for just enough time to start to connect the dots on the things I have read and watched. Earlier this year @jikookerie posted a Tik Tok of BTS performing a pop version of the Korean folk song Arirang Arirang Arariyo at the opening of KCON Paris in 2016. I watched it on repeat that week and since it still makes me smile, I'm taking a closer look at what was going on around those dates.

BTS left Korea for France on the 1st June with Jimin arriving much later than the other members. Both Jimin and Tae tweeted as they waited to board the plane.

On the same day, BTS released their third anniversary gift to ARMY, the RM and JK duo "I Know". It's a song written by RM which stands out for the lyrics alternating between girl and boy in the line "Know you love me". It is often used as an example of BTS's inclusiveness and support for the LBGTQ+ community.

There are fan cams of BTS's arrival in Paris, but the next official SM came from Tae when he tweeted from their dressing room on the 2nd June wishing everyone a good night.

Before BTS went on stage on 03/06, Jimin and Taehyung did a short and chaotic Vlive. Each member (except Yoongi who was said to be in the can) made their initial appearance like this before coming to the other side of the camera.

The talk was of their third anniversary and the release of I Know and here is where dots started getting connected. Part of my introduction to BTS included Jikook timeline videos and they often include the following cut. Look at JM's expression, admiration, yes, but also something more perhaps. Are you nervous Jimin?

This Vlive gives a great insight into the BTS dynamic three years after their debut.

The stage itself is a total bop. Jimin biases talk about having a Jimin praise kink. If that's your thing listen to the audience roar when Jimin steps up for his part in Arirang Arirang Arariyo at 1.55 min.

After the opening set, their individual set included Fire, RM singing What am I to You, Dope and I Need You. Great performances all round here.

If you look at the BTS Bomb of the rehearsal and concert you begin to realize how compressed the timeline for their participation in KCON France was. For the rehearsal, BTS are wearing the same clothes they wore at the airport in Korea which suggests either that they came straight from the plane to the venue to practice on 02/06 or they packed very very light. Their 2016 schedule was intense.

They were back in Korea on the 4th still wearing the same clothes. Not much time for Tae to look round Paris as he had wanted to do. But I guess he has made up for that since then. I mean as far as I know he is still there right now.

Post Date: 19/11/2022

[honeylemonteaasblog]

Loved You Once (WIP)

summary: Our MC, Jia, moves back to Korea after living abroad and reconnects with the boys, including Jungkook, the boy who has been in love with her since they were kids.

pairing: Jungkook x Reader (Named MC)

genre: angst, some fluff, healing

warning: (triggers -- please read them) domestic abuse, emotional abuse and manipulation, implied physical abuse, trauma, depression, talk of mental health

"You always knew that Jungkook had a crush on you, and you thought it was adorable. Mostly because you thought Jungkook was adorable. When you left you had a crush on him too. The secretly-writing-in-your-diary, middle-school-love, innocent kind of crush. The one that you would never act on because it was too pure for this world. The love that you would hold on to when other boys broke your heart to prove that love really did exist."

[our-red-string-of-fate-jm]

You were born for me, in the same way that I was born for you and I will never allow anyone to tell me anything different.

Your album confirmed several things for me and the biggest one, being how you have consciously been made aware of a few things from our past life.

Every time I listen to it, I am plagued by terrible emotional pain, and I sob like a child as I listen to the words that mean so much to me.

I have never had such a reaction with your music before- as I do with three songs on there...

Everything I have needed to hear and everything I have been waiting on for the past several years- all bottled up into three extraordinarily beautiful ballads that speak to my soul itself.

You are exactly who I thought you were this entire time and I am so glad that I never listened to those haters, nor the other people that constantly tried to tell me I was wrong.

We will be reunited once again and pick up where we left off, because this is our destiny and our fate.

"You are me and I am you..."

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I love Jimin's cover picture for the photobook too. Him dancing with open wings. It's about freedom. That's what he wants. To be free, to be himself without needing to conform to social and cultural norms. Wings mean freedom, escape and aspirations for greater accomplishments.

The old century outfit and setting, him stuck in a room - his inner self seems to feel stuck/locked, needing to conform with outdated/archaic social and cultural thinking/practises. All the mannequins there, same type, all made the same, they have no unique personality, now broken and damaged and useless. He doesnt want to be like them, not live in a box others created for him. Pressures to abide, weighing him down. Some make themselves prisoners of societies' paradigms/beliefs/systems. As an idol it's even more difficult.

He has Artemis tattoed on him in those pictures. Don't know his thoughts behind that. But Artemis (among other things) again is about freedom. Huntress, dancer, goddess of wilderness. She was free of entanglements, not confined by any bonds, untrammelled, wild. Same way, he doesn't want his self to be restricted, bond, he wouldn't want to sacrifice his inner light and live a mannequin like life. He wants the freedom to live and love freely, be wild, follow his dreams, have no regrets etc. His inner self identifies with Artemis in that sense.

I know a some people will immediately say, oh he wants to be openly gay. But it isn't just about that, (I think). He and other members too, maybe, have had to make lots of sacrifices, put their personal aspirations aside for the group, have had to always play the ot7 part, always present themselves to fans a certain way, fulfilling obligations cause the label needed to make money etc. They can now be free to express/pursue their true interests/aspirations. I remember a clip where Jimin suggested he'll do a solo dance piece and others said No (some one among them said "oh you're trying to get more screen time"). Ot7 agenda must have been restricting. Chapter 2 must be more freeing.

I'll stop. That's what I think, but I could be so so wrong. Sorry for the long message. I didn't realize it was long.

Oh anon, I really love and appreciate this interpretation and how you did a breakdown of the symbols and metaphors. It just shows not only the concept's complexity, but it speaks to Jimin's as well. I think this way of looking at it sits perfectly well with other interpretations, more focused on gender and sexual identity. They can easily coexist, as restrictions and freedom are more universal themes that do seem to permeate whatever ideas Jimin wanted to share with the world.

Being an idol is restrictive in itself and it shows in various aspects of someone's public/private life. From being assigned a persona, always stored in certain boxes, always perfect and without any mistakes, having to look a certain way and maintain that, on top of the actual work of doing music and performances. It's bound to become a weight, as much as it's a rewarding path. It comes with (dis)advantages. From what I can see, Jimin always struggled with some aspects of it (still does) and has tried to reinvent himself, or show a version of it that is as close to that of the self that he's comfortable sharing with the world, whatever that entails. The photo-folio may as well be about that.

P.S. Don't apologize for writing a long message. The content of it is always more important than the length.