#joke fic

[shygirl4991]

For the love of Dasani

so the discord im in we all saw the ep and got really silly about it Spoilers

since SMG4 got the water bottle body pillow i decide wouldn't it be funny to do a fic on SMGsani/ Dasani4 so enjoy this curse xD (Shay shouldnt write fics half asleep)

Four was never one for romance, after all he needed to focus on his channel one slip up and it was all over for him. He sighs feeling blocked on what to make, getting up he decides to head over to SMG3 coffee n bombs to get some coffee. Usually drinking coffee at his ex rival’s place gets his mind straight. He walks in the cafe and gives a wave to Three, given how Four basically lives in the cafe Three already knew what drink to get for him. Four takes a seat waiting for his drink when he notices someone walk in the doors. He blushes as he sees a handsome Disani bottle walk into the cafe,  the bottle walks up to the counter giving their order to Three. Once the bottle sits down Four gets up and dashes to Three “Heeey buddy, pal, chum, amigo!” Three blinks staring at the man “What do you want?” SMG4 gets close to Three and whispers “Who is the tall glass of water?”

Three’s eyes move to the Dasani bottle then back to Four “You mean Disani, they came into town recently. Wait…why do you want to know about Dasani?” he squints at his partner making the man break into a sweat. Giving Three an awkward smile he tries to get suspicion off him “I just know everyone here was surprised!” Three rolled his eyes and waves him off “I dont care just take your drink and if you want to make out with some strange fucking bottle be my guest.” he shoves the coffee into fours hand then pushes him away from the counter. Letting out a shaky breath he walks up to the bottle and smiles “Hey uh i'm SMG4 and you?”  Three watches in the background shaking his head. The bottle turns making splash sounds, Four’s face goes red in awe for how attractive this water bottle was. He points to the chair and smiles “Mind if I take this seat?” the bottle splashes letting him know it was fine. Four sits down and keeps talking with the bottle, he couldn't help giggling at every joke the bottle told.  Seeing how good things were Three decides to help by giving them dessert “On the house for the couple,” he leans close to four “dont fuck it up.” He nods watching Three leave, they both eat the cake getting close with the bottle. Dasani then stands up splashing to let Four know they had to go, Four frowns but then gives a soft smile at the bottle “It was nice knowing you!” the bottle turns surprising Four with a soft kiss on the lips before leaving the cafe. Three chuckles smacking Fours back “Damn you did it, never thought a loser like you could get Dasani  attention. Won't last long, I'm sure a loser like you will chase them away!” SMG4 glares at three before they both go into their usual agreement they do these days to show affection.

[positively-peachy-143]

Quick question chat. Who would read it if I made a really long unserious jokefic where the gang is transported forward in time (through fanfic logic trust) and meet a girl (2014 wattpad y/n) and she just like teaches them about the modern world in a series of very stupid very unrealistic scenarios and maybe even have a beach episode????

I will commit to this, be careful when giving notes to this post 🙏

[yokohamapound]

Myshka - Fyodor Dostoevsky x Reader

I can't believe this is my first Fyodor piece, but here we go... This is silly but the idea wouldn't leave my head for an April Fool's fic.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

He’s nothing but a silhouette. A wall of screens rises up before him, glaring like suns in the dim room. Information flickers across them in a constant, incomprehensible screed. You couldn’t read them even if you wanted to. 

He sits with his back to you, a ragged outline of darkness against the wall of brightness. A fur hat and fur-trimmed collar, only moving every now and then to look at this screen or that, his hands dancing across the keyboard like a concert pianist. You can’t see his face, but his hands are pale, long-fingered, moving almost with minds of their own, independent of each other. 

“I can feel your eyes on me.”

His voice is deeper than one would expect, from such a pretty face. Though he faces away from you now, you remember it well—sharp, delicate features, pale skin, shadowed violet eyes. The thought of being pinned under that stare again makes you shiver. 

You don’t know who he is, or what he wants with you. Just that he swept into your life, plucked you off the street, and here you are. 

Trapped, tense, waiting to discover your fate. Destiny hangs over you like the sword of Damocles. 

So far, all he seems to do is work, tapping away at his keyboard and humming to himself. Others come and go—a man in a black cloak, a jester in white who likes to poke at you and gibber nonsense—but no one seems to have a use for you yet. 

“Nothing to say, myshka?” 

His voice floats over to you, taunting. He insists on speaking to you, even though you don’t—can’t—respond. What would you even say? If you opened your mouth, all that would come out is a frightened squeak. 

It isn’t all bad. You’re given food and drink, somewhere to sleep. Whatever your purpose in this man’s grand design, it doesn’t seem one of suffering. He will keep you alive for as long as he needs you. 

Your silence finally seems to get to him. He turns in his chair, the flickering screens painting his features with uncertain blue-white light. 

Frozen, huddled, you watch him as he regards you in turn. A smile tugs at his mouth, an amused noise bubbling up from in his throat. Oh, you do seem to amuse him. Why is beyond you. Nothing you’ve done is remotely funny. Perhaps he simply enjoys your helplessness. 

“Look at you,” he hums, rising to his feet. “Still so frightened of me?”

His footsteps seem to echo through the cavernous room as he approaches you, picking his way easily between the wires that trail everywhere like vines.  He bends down to get a better look at you, his locks of dark hair shifting around his face as he tilts his head. 

Long, pale fingers reach for you and you cringe backward. The man lets out a low sound, seeming almost…disappointed. But that cannot be right. You know he takes satisfaction in tormenting you. Otherwise, why would you be here?

“Do I not give you everything you need, myshka?” he asks. “Are you hungry? Is that it?”

Freedom! you want to scream. Release me from this cage—

Suddenly, a head of white hair pops around the door frame, long braid swinging. The jester wears a grin like a carnival mask, his eyes crinkled with sadistic amusement. 

“Are you still trying to play with that pet mouse of yours?” he scoffs. “Just give it a morsel of cheese.”

Fyodor looks down at the cage housing the little mouse he plucked off the streets on a whim. Beady black eyes glare at him through the bars, tiny pink paws curled into miniature fists.

And here he thought the creature was warming up to him.

:P

[mawofthemagnetar]

NPC Grian Gets A Job

You, a modern minimalist architect who has done nothing but produce sterile white hellscapes your entire life, arrive in the 96th circle of Hell.

To your shock, it is a lush and verdant place. Rows of quaint stone and wood houses line perfect picturesque streets. Colourful flowerbeds and gorgeous classical architecture surrounds you. Trees grow wild and untrimmed. The only metal is copper roofing and wrought iron door-knockers and fence gates.

And you hate it immensely.

As you set off down the lovely cobbled streets, you come to realize that this place never ends. It’s an endless sprawling labyrinth of quaint rustic homes, roads forking off each other in all directions, forever. Eventually you finally, FINALLY wander to the edge of “town” (is it truly a town if you haven’t seen a single soul?) and find…a construction site.

Eager to break up the monotony (and give yourself something to do) you rush to the blueprints left lovingly on a sawhorse and examine them. Another rustic house. You’ll fix this. Grabbing your trusty ballpoint, you click it and set about sketching up something nice. Clean lines. White walls. White concrete. Square. Colour? God forbid, it’s not the fashion! After a few minutes of redoing the design, you look up.

“HELLO,” a man(?) clad in a red sweater shouts at you, “DO YOU WANT TO BUILD A RUSTIC HOUSE WITH ME?”

You stare at the man.

“No. We’re building something nice here. Something new.” You say, gesturing at the page.

The man’s face darkens like an encroaching storm as he glances at your page. At once, the illusion of colour in his eyes fades away, and you find yourself staring into two blank steel balls with a glowing red pit in the centres.

“THIS IS MY REALM WHERE ALL THINGS ARE RUSTIC AND ALL THINGS ARE HOUSE. DO YOU WANT TO BUILD A RUSTIC HOUSE WITH ME?”

You swallow uncomfortably. Something tells you “no” is a bad response.

“YOU HAD TO THINK ABOUT IT. I THINK YOU NEED TO GO IN THE CLOSET. IF YOU CAN LAST TEN MINUTES IN THE CLOSET, I WILL ALLOW YOU TO BUILD THIS NOT RUSTIC HOUSE.”

You swallow and nod slowly. That…certainly sounds like a deal.

“DO YOU AGREE?”

“Sure.” You say nervously.

“GOOD. I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING THE RUSTIC HOUSES YOU WILL CREATE FOR ME.” The man says with a smile.

He snaps his fingers.

You blink.

When you open your eyes again, you’re inside of a small, cramped, dark closet. The walls are wood and it smells of must and mothballs.

It’s…boring, but safe enough?

“YOUR TEN MINUTES BEGINS NOW.” The man announces from outside.

And as the walls begin to drip like white paint around your fingers, you realize that it wasn’t a deal at all.

Nine minutes later, you are sketching out a design for a wonderfully quaint rustic house.

[hymn-of-muse]

A change in the schedule.

have not seen the movie but actually kinda do like the ship (dynamic) so here's a little bowigi fic for you guys. is it a crackship/joke fic? probably, but its still something.

A plan he'd been working on for some time, he was more than sure would go just as he planned. Bowser was sure Princess Peach would be all his by the end of things. In fact he was so confident that kidnapping the princess and singing a song would work he even went ahead and started planning their wedding. 

He's king Bowser, why wouldn't she fall for him? She's a princess of the mushroom Kingdom ruling all by herself and he's a strong, responsible big guy who's awesome at running his kingdom, they're totally the perfect match, right? She'll see it soon enough.

He was even getting his subjects to collect guests for their wedding from both their kingdoms. Toads and other creatures from the land resided in his dungeons to wait for the wedding.

Soon he would have princess peach and everything would fall into place. Untill..

Bowser was snapped out of his thoughts while looking at options for the wedding decor when a koopa interrupted him. 

"Um..lord Bowser, sir?" They spoke up a bit nervously to get his attention. He glanced down at them with an impatient frown and motioned for them to continue with a simple wave of his hand. "We uh...caught someone who doesn't seem to be from around her but he showed up in our-y-your kingdom and well...we don't know what he is and-"

The koopa was cut off from their rambling by Bowser's loud voice, words filling with an annoyed tone. "Just bring him here and I'll figure it out! It can't be that hard!"

Right away the koopa scurried off before returning, leading two more guards into the throne room who ushered a person dressed in green and blue with them.

"Hey, you can stop pushing, I'm walking!" The little green man spoke. He seemed to be the same kind of creature princess peach was, at least at first glance. And he was kinda...cute...in a tiny person kind of way.

"You. What's your name little guy?" Bowser demanded, towering over the guy as he stood up from his throne and stepped closer to inspect the cowering person.

"L...Luigi...sir" Luigi fumbled over his words as Bowser easily intimidated him. "I don't mean to trespass or anything, see I just got separated from my brother and I'm trying to find him-"

He stopped when Bowser placed a claw gently under his chin and lifted his face to meet his gaze as he looked him over. Bowser then spoke up with a smug look and a confident tone to match.

"Fellas" he spoke to his subjects without taking his eyes of Luigi. "There's been a slight change in the schedule" 

reblogs are appreciated!

feel free to request more angst, fluff or whatever comes to mind!

be sure to check my pinned post!

[the-tiktok-rogue]

entry 86 but Alex accepts Tims offer (joke fic)

“Alex it doesn’t have to be like this, I know what it’s like, I can help you, i’ve had to live with this my entire life, but i’ve learned how to block it out” Tim bargained

“yeah alright” Alex suddenly said calmly

“R-Really, you’ll let me help?” Tim asked, surprised that actually worked

“fuck it why not. Killing people clearly isn’t working, let’s be best buds Timmy Tims!”

“fuck yeah!” Tim shouted in joy, they hugged and high fived.

The Operator looked disappointed and teleported away.

Months passed as Alex went to the clinic he levelled out, him and Tim were room mates now.

“Still bummed out about jays death though…”

“yeah sorry about that dude, I was like totally in my killing phase back then, so cringe honestly”

Alex said as they played video games

“dudes rock” Tim said

“Dudes rock” Alex agreed.

[emma-is-swaggy-and-epic]

Haven't written in a while and i stg some of you aren't prepared for the fuckin danganronpa x ben shapiro yaoi among us AU fanfic i'm writing this shits gonna be fuckin nuclear

[it-came-from-mount-ebott]

So I’m reading this joke fic about random characters in a a danganronpa scenario, and just look at this lineup

Completely insane. I love it.

Here’s the link btw https://archiveofourown.org/works/22604029

Please no spoilers I just finished chapter one.

[mythicalmagical-monkeyman]

Video Fic

Synopsis: Jiutian Xuannu and Yellow Robe Demon apologize on the celestial realms behalf, they may or may not be joking.

(Jiutian Xuannu is red and Yellow Robe Demon is yellow. If you're color blind they alternate).

(enjoy)

*sound of a camera clicking on*

*The visuals turn on. On screen are two gods. A woman with a white button up shirt and black hair. And a man with gray hair and a yellow hawaiian shirt*  

Hello mortals. I am Jiutian Xuannu goddess of war and sex 

And I’m Kui Mulang though you may know me as the Yellow Robe Demon.

We are here to apologize on behalf of all the gods for all the bad things that have happened to you mortals due to the fact that we were too prideful to help you. 

This apology needs to be said because we let a lot of stuff happen. 

And while there’s no justifying what we’ve done and you may not be able to forgive us we hope this apology will give you some semblance of peace    

Alright here we go…

We’re sorry for letting all those wars happen

And all those famines

We are sorry for all those evil emperors we let reign 

And the colonists. 

We are sorry for that one time we flooded the world and all those people died

We’re sorry for letting part of heaven break and come crashing down on Earth   

We’re also sorry for all the plagues

*YRD smirks*      

I’m sorry for making all those people dance to death in France. Yes it was my fault, but in my defense I was drunk. 

*Jiutian Xuannu smiles too*

I’m sorry for giving Genghis Khan the idea to conquer everybody. How was I supposed to know that telling him to just kill the people he doesn’t like would lead to his conquest.  

I’m sorry for causing the Krakatoa eruption, not my fault my party was just that lit.  

I’m sorry for causing the Teiping Rebellion. … I-I don’t really have an excuse for this one.

*YRD stares for a hot second then shrugs*

I’m sorry for kidnapping Tripataka that one time, in my defense everyone was doing it.

And I’m sorry for leaving you on read in the prayer messenger app, they all blur together after a while

I’m sorry your pants are weird, but it’s your fault for buying them 

I’m sorry you had to deal with Erlang two months ago when I blamed you for stealing his spear. That was my bad, I’m the klepto here not you  

I’m sorry for that time I made people believe Bigfoot was real, he's not. It was just me. 

I’m sorry about that time I went down on your mom, but damn is she ever smokin’ hot

*YRD snorts*

 I’m sorry I stole the Holy grail and have been using it as a bedside piss jar when I’m too lazy to get out of bed when I have to pee.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! That was you!? OH my us! You know people have been looking for that thing for years right? Oh, oh shit. That’s hilarious.

You’ve been to my house, how have you not noticed it?

I don’t know, but now you have to show me.

*visuals and sound cuts out*

[basichextechml]

For the gut wrenching, soul crushing, banging-your-head-against-the-wall angst requests, how about Viktor dropping his taco like in that vine. major character death tag.

You know what? I embrace this.

It's not going on the masterlist tho

TW // Major Character Death (Taco), Angst

---

Life, in all it's moral quandaries and epic adventures, had one rule that always seemed to prevail.

The rule of give and take.

Like the tides, constantly flowing in and out, life would bathe you in warm comfort before ripping it away, exposing your nerves to the chill air as you lamented what you had once known.

Viktor had forgotten this rule, as he was so used to giving with no return. He'd given himself to the Undercity, developing technology to help him home that never spared an ounce of acceptance. The rule of life having turned it's back on Viktor. He gave himself to Piltover, in hopes of receiving recognition, something he could use to better his home. But again, the rule of life failed.

Viktor had given so much, and his hands were empty at the end of the day because of it. He was convinced that, despite his atheistic ideologies, that even if there were someone in the Universe out there, they weren't looking after him the way people preached they were.

Viktor was sure of that fact, now, as he lay on the ground, crumpled beneath his own weight. An uneven crack of pavement kissing the tips of his shoes as it mocked his plight.

But even the scrapes on his palms and the sure-to-form bruises on his knees meant nothing compared to the sight in front of him.

His tacos smushed against the pavement.

He had been starving, only realizing at the eleventh hour that he hadn't eaten anything that day, and the new medication he was on only amplifying up the hunger pains. Hauling himself off his chair and shutting the lab, he had walked briskly to the elevator, already categorizing what restaurants would be open. A small taco shop, on the corner of a busy pavilion seemed to be his only option, though he was in no way complaining. The street tacos were simple, carne asada on corn tortillas with minced onions and a bit of cilantro with lime. Delicious, and something easy to eat quickly as he walked over to a bench.

Now, with his food in front of him, the tortilla's facing the sky, Viktor wondered with tears in his eyes-

How much more must I give before I receive?

[terribletaletime]

An unexpected gift

•

It was our wedding night. The ceremony itself had been amazing, we said our vows right in front of a massive waterfall and then danced the night away in a dining hall fit for royalty. That time was up, though. I now stood in front of our hotel room in my itchy wedding gown hand in hand with my new husband. This was the start of a new life, it was almost scary. He smiled at me and squeezed my hand.

"You okay, babe?" Alvin could tell something was wrong, he somehow always knew me better than I even knew myself. 

"This is all so new, I'm so nervous."

"About what?"

"I don't know... our new life together, I guess? There's so much we haven't done, we haven't experienced. What if I mess it all up? What if I get you to hate me?"

Alvin just gave me a blank, almost shocked look. I thought for a moment I had made my anxieties true, I thought I had made him hate me somehow. That was until his solid expression shattered into smiles and laughter.

"Nothing you could do could ever make me hate you! You're stuck with me until the end of time, my dear. No matter what happens in life, we're bound together."

We kissed and he swooped me up into his arms, carrying me to our bed. We had been abstaining for years now, and now it was finally our time. I was Mrs. Chipmunk, and I couldn't be happier to finally be with my husband. He was the man who grounded me at my worst, he was the man who made me laugh till I cried, he was the man who knew exactly what I needed when I needed it, and he was the man who I could come to with anything without ever fearing judgement. There was no man on earth I would rather give myself to fully.

Our lips locked in passionate joy, his hands softly travelled down my body. He slowly undid my dress, pulling apart the ribbon holding together the bodice. Once I was fully revealed to him, he threw apart his own tux and threw it to the floor. Finally, after years of desperate and true love we had fully joined as one.

It had been six weeks since the wedding, and life had hit a rather, er, rough... patch.

"Alvin, are you alright?" I said to my now vomiting husband, this now marked the eighth puke of the week. He had been experiencing nausea in the morning along with bad heartburn. Not only that, but he'd been moody like crazy and has been having these awful cramps. It was all so weird.

"Obviously not." He snapped, agitated. Ugh, another one of his mood swings. I rolled my eyes. This wasn't like my typically light-hearted love. It was time for a change, we couldn't carry on like this. 

"Alright," I said grabbing his arm. "Time to go to the vet."

The waiting room was silent and smelled like wet dog. I hated the vets, all the poor sick animals that had to be put down made my stomach churn. Every time I heard the distraught screams of someone getting the distressing news that the animal they loved was to soon die, I couldn't help but think of Alvin and every "what if" possible. I could tell he felt the same, his leg was thumping and he threw himself into his phone. He scrolled mindlessly on social media, any time I attempted a conversation he would just give empty replies, not even hearing my words as he was too deep in thought.

"Alvin?" The nurse called out.

"That's us!" I said in the most cheery voice I could, trying to put a light mood to the awful situation. I hoped that maybe Alvin would calm down if he thought I was somehow calm. We walked into the cold room and was met with an man with a withered and wrinkled face. A smile was stretched wide on his face as he tapped the pen to his clipboard.

"Mister Alvin, I've read your chart. It seems we need to do an ultrasound to see what's goin on in those guts of yours, a lot of puking and pain I hear? Don't worry, we'll get ya feeling nice with any hope real soon." He gave a wry laugh as Alvin got onto the large metal table and lied down.

"This'll be cold." The old man said as he put the gel onto my husband's abdomen. He moved the stick around before gasping.

"How... no that can't be right." We started to get worried now. He shouldn't be saying that. Was he sick or dying? Did he have cancer or some fatal disease? Alvin grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight. This was the first time in weeks that he initiated any form of physical touch. 

"Doc, please, what's going on?"

"It appears, ma'am, that your husband is... pregnant." Shock filled my body. How the fuck is this possible? He's a man, a biological man! This shouldn't be possible. I was reeling. How... how could this be? It was then that I heard light sobbing sounds coming from Alvin. I was so trapped in my own feelings that I hadn't even considered how he was feeling. After all, he was the one who was pregnant.

"Alvin..."

He ripped his hand away from  mine and huddled up into a ball. The vet looked at us and excused himself, giving us time to talk in private.

"I'm sorry," all he could say over and over was that he was sorry.

"What for?"

"This, this... cursed thing! I've ruined us, how could you ever love me when I'm like this?"

For a moment, I was left speechless. I just stared at him, he was so miserable, but I wasn't. I was happy, I was so happy. The idea that we may be starting a family, no matter how we got there. He was still my husband, no matter how moody. I had to make this right, but I didn't know how. All I could think of was how much I loved him, how much he meant to me. That's when our wedding night came to mind. I smiled and took his hand back.

"Nothing you could do could ever make me hate you! You're stuck with me until the end of time, my dear. No matter what happens in life, we're bound together. You said those words to me on our wedding night, you promised me a future together. What makes you think I'd ever feel differently?"

He looked up at me and smiled. Together, we laughed and kissed. This was the start of a new life; this was the start of a life where the two, or rather three, of us truly lived together in bliss.

[seshen]

I have the strongest urge to do a joke fic. Like one of those one direction, i've sold you to the kaibas type of fic. Might do it for April fools tbh.

[iam-busydoingnothing]

Another World

Ao3 link

Y/n woke up in a strange world. "Is this real life? or is this just fantasy?" They thought as they stood up from the grass, suddenly they were caught in a landslide.

"No escape from reality, I'm gonna die." Y/n closed their eyes as they felt their body falling.

•

•

•

"Open your eyes," A voice says. Y/n woke up to the blinding light and then suddenly realized. "I'm alive??" Y/n asks bewildered, "Look up to the skies and see if you are." "Huh," Y/n says as they look up. "I'm just a poor boy anyways. I need no sympathy,"

The short man sits there bewildered. "Need no sympathy? Bitch, you fell off a fucking a hill?" Y/n laughs. "Because I'm easy come, easy go. You know, Little high, little low," "You could have died?!?" The strange man shouts as he massaged his head.

"Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me," Y/n says nonchalantly. "Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter?" He questions.

"Yep!" Y/n says, "To me at least."

•

"Mamaaa, Just killed a man," Y/n cried after drinking too much booze. The man, though unsure, comforted Y/n. "Mamaaa, life had just begun, But now I've gone and thrown it all away because of me magically appearing here." Y/n cried some more.

"Mama?" the man laughed ever so worried. "Oooh," Y/n suddenly cried her eyes out.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry." The man comforted Y/n. Who was now suddenly silent. He shook the figure only to find that they had fallen asleep. "Ah fuck."

•

Still drunk, Y/n opened their eyes to see the man, tucking them into bed. The guy took a note of this and said. "If I'm not back again this time tomorrow in the inn, talk to the owner downstairs. Got it?"

"Got it! Carry on." Y/n drunkenly says. "Carry on as if nothing really matters."

The man sighed. "It's too late for this. My time has come. I've got to go. I'll be back." He said as he left the room.

•

Y/n felt shivers send down their spine. body aching and all. "What happened?"They groaned. "The time? What's the time? Wait... Where am I?" They finally saw that they were in an unknown place. Y/n immediately ran downstairs to the lobby to see people and a dog in clothes drinking tea.

"Well, goodbye, everybody! I've got to go!" They said before running away. "Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth that I am in an unknown place!"

While running, Y/n cried in their head, "Mama, oh, I don't want to die." "Where even am I?" They grew tired with each step, looking at the ground while running. "I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all." Tears suddenly dripped down their tears. "Help me."

They turned their head upwards to see a little silhouetto of a man, but it was too late.

The two crashed. Y/n recognized this man. "You're the guy that saved me!!" They said with tears in their eyes.

"Are you okay?!" The guy said, confused and worried. "What happened?!" "I-" Y/n hiccuped, "What do I call you first?"

"My name's Scaramouche," He said. "Scaramouche?" "Yes," Scaramouche said. "Will-"Y/n stammered "What?" The short man asked. "Will you do the Fandango!?" Y/n exclaimed

"What?"

[mawofthemagnetar]

The anticipation was the hardest part. It always was- huddled around trees, leaning against rocks, every member hunched over their communicator.

Waiting.

Waiting for their fate.

Grian had blown the starting whistle not ten minutes earlier and they’d scattered like cockroaches in sunlight. Scurrying away to hide and wait for the divvying of lives that would decide everything.

Bdubs leaned against his stone axe, confident he’d found a good hiding spot. Just for a moment, while he waited.

His communicator buzzed, and he held his breath.

You have…

Bdubs bit his lip. Come on. Six. Six. Six. Please.

4,378.2333333333333333333333333 lives.

“What.” Bdubs blurted out. Through the forest, similar cries of confusion and fear echoed.

And then…

<Grian> uh.

<Grian> I. May have. Made a small coding mistake. Um. Have…fun?

[trans-kevin-juice]

Meteorteeth Fanfic - MADE BY AI

This fic is not intended to be taken seriously in the slightest. It was made by Dreamily.ai, and I only wrote the beginning and fixed grammar errors. It's probably meant to be fluff, but was turned into probably the funniest fanfic i've ever read. Anyways, please do enjoy this dumpster fire!!

Notes: Friday Night Funkin', Vs. Void, RM Void Au, Fluff (Intention), Comedy (How it turned out), Meteorteeth (Monster X Void), Kissing, Romance, Cursing, Not a serious fic at all, Suggestive (i guess??)

Monster was in his room, trying out different dresses. Why? Just for fun. The one he was currently wearing was a black silk dress with a very faint maroon fade out. It had white glitter on it that glistened with every movement Monster made. He smiled in the mirror. Monster thought he looked very pretty and was doing silly little poses. That was quickly interrupted by Void, his boyfriend, walking in on him.

"You look like an idiot," said Void.

"Oh hush. It looks good on me." Monster replied.

Void shook his head in exasperation.

"How long are you gonna be like this?" said Void.

"Until you admit I look good." replied Monster.

"I'm not admitting anything until you put on something else," said Void.

"Okay. Okay! Fine!" said Monster, getting up to get dressed. He changed into another outfit before coming back to the main floor of the apartment.

"You're still looking bad." noted Void.

"So what? You love me anyway." Monster smirked.

Void rolled his eyes.

"Yeah whatever." Void replied.

"So how do I look?" asked Monster again.

"Better than before." replied Void, giving Monster a small peck on the cheek.

"Thanks." said Monster, giving Void a quick kiss.

They were interrupted by their roommate, AiKotoba, coming through the front door. "...What are you guys doing?" AiKotoba asked.

Monster and Void looked at each other, both blushing and avoiding eye contact.

"...Nothing." replied Monster.

"We just decided we should watch a movie together, that's all." said Void.

"And you didn't invite me over?!" exclaimed AiKotoba.

"Sorry. I forgot." Replied Monster.

"We're just making out." added Void.

"That's gay." commented AiKotoba.

"And?" snapped Monster.

AiKotoba held their hands up in mock surrender and said, "Alright fine. Whatever floats your boat."

AiKotoba went into their room and shut the door.

"Wow..." muttered Monster. "That escalated faster than expected."

Void just chuckled, and then gave Monster a quick kiss on the lips.

Monster grinned and returned the kiss. Their kissing session continued for a while longer. They finally pulled away when they heard the bedroom door open and AiKotoba came out.

"I hate you two." they mumbled, heading down the stairs.

Monster and Void burst out laughing.

"Hey! Don't laugh at me!" shouted AiKotoba.

"Sorry, sorry," replied Monster, calming down. "It's just... you're really funny!"

AiKotoba glared at Monster.

"Whatever." they huffed. Then they left.

As soon as the front door closed, Monster sighed dramatically, leaning against the wall. "Man, I love them but can you imagine how much s**t they'd give us if we started dating?"

"Agreed." said Void, walking over to Monster. He gently put his arm around Monster.

"But it'd be funny to watch." Monster finished.

Void nodded in agreement.

Suddenly, Monster grabbed Void and threw him onto the couch. Monster sat down right next to him.

"What the-" began Void.

Then suddenly Monster leaned down and kissed Void passionately. Void wrapped his arms tightly around Monster's waist.

The two remained locked together for some time. Eventually, Monster broke off, panting slightly.

"Did you just...?" gasped Void.

"Maybe." Monster smirked, kissing Void again.

They eventually calmed down, and the pair cuddled on the couch.

This lasted about three hours before someone knocked on the door.

"Can you please answer that?" asked Void.

"Sure thing." said Monster, hopping off the couch and going to open the door. Once it opened, Monster saw none other than AiKotoba on the other side, holding a bag filled to the brim with groceries.

"Is it even possible for you two to make out without me finding out?" asked AiKotoba.

"Nope!" Monster answered immediately, giving Void a quick kiss.

AiKotoba looked from Monster to Void, raising an eyebrow. "So... what were you two doing?" they questioned.

"Well..." began Monster.

He and Void glanced at each other and smirked, deciding to tell AiKotoba. They proceeded to tell AiKotoba everything. They told their friend what happened during their makeout session, which led to laughter from AiKotoba.

"I'm surprised you didn't notice sooner." stated AiKotoba.

"Really?!?" asked Monster.

"I mean, considering the fact that I live here, I've seen a lot more intimate acts between my roommate and your roommate. And since it was only three weeks ago that you two first tried this whole 'kiss' thing, it would make sense."

After a few moments of silence, Monster spoke up. "Wait... how did you know?"

"I'm not sure. But I have my suspicions. You two aren't subtle. Besides," said AiKotoba, "the only person who could've possibly given you two the idea was Kaeya. When you guys were watching some dumb show on Netflix last week, you talked about wanting to make out. So naturally, I figured you two were thinking about something like this."

"You're so smart." praised Monster.

"Thank you." responded AiKotoba, blush forming on their face.

"I'll let you two get back to what you were doing now." said AiKotoba, turning around and leaving.

Once AiKotoba closed the door behind them, Monster and Void both turned towards each other and giggled.

"You got lucky." teased Void.

"Yep." Monster confirmed, giving him a smirk.

"Hey, don't you dare." warned Void.

"Make me." laughed Monster.

Void groaned and rolled his eyes.

"You know, I just thought about something," Monster said. Void turned his head to face Monster. "Hmm? What is it?" Void asked.

"Kaeya hasn't come home yet. Then again, he might just be working overtime again." Monster stated.

"That does happen sometimes. Maybe you're right." replied Void.

The pair fell silent again, both lost in thought. After sometime they heard their door open.

"Hello boys." said Kaeya. "I brought pizza rolls." he said, setting the bags on the kitchen table.

"Pizza rolls?!?" shrieked Monster.

"Don't act so shocked. I thought you loved those things." said Kaeya.

"Of course I love them! They're delicious." answered Monster.

"Cool." Kaeya said. "Geez, I'm exhausted after today. I think I'm gonna go take a nap." Kaeya then walked out of the room to his own room.

Once Kaeya had gone, Monster and Void shared a look.

"Do you think he suspects something?" whispered Monster.

"Probably. He usually does." said Void. "Though that doesn't necessarily mean anything bad," he added.

"True," said Monster. He then yawned, stretching.

"You tired already?" asked Void.

"Well yeah. It's been a long day." admitted Monster.

"Me too." said Void. He stretched himself and sighed happily. "It felt great to be able to relax for once."

Monster smiled and looked at his boyfriend. Then he leaned forward and lightly kissed him.

Void closed his eyes and melted into the kiss.

"I guess we can go to sleep now," said Monster.

"Sounds good." replied Void.

Both men laid down on the couch, with Monster on top of Void.

"Love you." whispered Monster.

Void chuckled. "I love you too."

The couple spent the rest of the night cuddling together, with Monster occasionally putting his hand on Void's face or on his chest.

As they drifted off to sleep, they felt nothing but happiness. Nothing could break that happiness.

[goldenonigiri]

O-Onceler x Morbius,.,.? 🥺👉👈

i honestly cant tell if this is spooky or not but at the risk of opposing the overlords ill write it.

Onceler looked into Morbius' reflective red eyes.. Morbius morbed, "I-I wuvies you.." and handed him a bouquet of crimson roses. "O-oh.." The onceler blushed, scratching his neck. "I brought you a thneed to tell you how much i love you..!" He finished, thrusting the thneed into the others' arms.

"B-baka!!" Morbius morbed before running away, as red as a tomato.