#jury still out on how useful the opinions he's getting actually are but

[franeridart]

The Housecat Philosophy - Ep 36

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[nyazhis-jsablr]

Battle of the Blixers - Finale Results

“Welcome to the final post of the Battle of the Blixers! I’m your host Step, and it was a very fun and intense competition thus far!”

“It was very fun seeing every submission, as well as how the contest played out! I will definitely miss doing this.

“But that aside, the end is now upon us, and with that, let’s see who won this entire thing!”

PLACEMENT POINTS

“So first off, we have the placement points! These points will be awarded to the competitors based on their placement on the podium at the end of C5!”

“And here they are!”

“Welp, it’s how it always was! Blixter & Eclipses in the top two, with everyone else fighting for 3rd, in this case, the other Blixter!” “In any case, let’s head to Category 2!”

ABSTRUSE DECIPHER POINTS

“This is the prize for guessing the song correctly!”

“Blixer Eclipses got the song correctly, so he’s getting 3 extra points!”

AUDIENCE VOTE

“Now, we have the audience vote! We already saw the outcome, with Blixter winning over the audience yet again! Let’s award everyone’s points now!”

JURY VOTE

“Now for the jury vote! The way this works is that the jury lists the entries from 1-3, their least favorite being 1 and most favorite being 3. Afterwards, I tally up the results and get the final number!”

“Before I reveal the points though, here’s a statement from the one and only Blixer Kunzite! literally hes the only one that voted during the voting period”

JSABAddict’s submission:

“What a very interesting fight! Didn’t expect such a…brute, to have skillful moves like that. I’d say this one caught my eye, sad that they weren’t able to kill their opponent but, oh well! As for the ‘begging’, as you put it, poor reasons. I believe them when they said they joined for fun and thrill but, c’mon! What about the glory and respect you would get from winning!? Ah, apologies for the yelling. Now then, I’d say they’re in between, not the worst nor the best.”

Zim-card’s submission:

“Quite an interesting yet odd ending, in my own opinion..but nonetheless, I think they did well! But..a bit disappointed AGAIN by the fact that another square wasn’t at least damaged, MORE disappointed it ended off in good terms. The reasons for winning are well put, I have been watching from afar how they had been handling every challenge well— expect for the cooking one. I’d say this is also in between! I’ll..have to think how I’ll rank these..”

Starwlf’s submission:

“As for this one..I LOVE IT! The fact that you managed to actually defeat the player while also giving good reasons! The first time being apart of this to gain some sort of ego boost through this and showing your strength! Wonderful! Very solid reasons, along with skillful moves— other than the fact they did managed to get hurt in the face, but they proved themselves worthy, to me.”

“Well that’s that! Can’t believe nobody else was available during voting… anyways… Here’s the results!”

COMPETITOR VOTE

“And now, here’s the competitor vote, where each of the competitors voted on each other!”

“Here’s what they each have to say!”

starwlf Blixter (told thru starwlf’s perspective):

My point goes to zim’s submission. Blixter enjoys watching a good fight. And man was it delivered. And seeing such a shift to a kinder tone gave him a reminder of his own loved one. A fight against a narrative is all too familiar for him.

Blixer Eclipses:

Probably starwlf (cause in the end zim's gonna win regardless so I figured to like. barely even it out, I dunno)

zim-card Blixter:

“I gotta send a vote to starwlf. I like his determination and confidence, I can understand his stance within this whole challenge as someone new to the ring. I also find it sweet that he's willing to split the prize when he wins... I'd do the same too, honestly. Sure, I'm off put at the successful murder so hm... ah, I can't exactly be the judge of morals when the challenge did ask for a duel. My vote still stands for the fella!”

“So we got 2 votes for starwlf’s Blixter, and a vote for zim’s Blixter! Let’s convert them to points!”

STEP’S EXTRA CREDIT

“Now it’s MY turn to judge!”

“For starwlf’s Blixter, I love the intensity! And actually succeeding in defeating, good job!”

“For Blixer Eclipses, although not much hits were dealt, you put up a good fight with that amazing dodging skills! I also find it pretty funny that he kept dodging the blasts when it’s usually the other way around… heh.”

“For zim-card’s Blixter, the fight was pretty cool! But at the same time you somehow made up with your Cyan and uhhhhhhhh”

“sorry youre going below the others”

“Anyways, let’s get to the points I’m giving out!”

“And the winner of the Battle of the Blixers is……”

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!!!BLIXTER!!!

Total Points:

@zim-card : 30

@jsabaddict : 29

@starwlf : 27

“Congratulations for winning, now here are your prizes!”

“Yeah, I figured that the runner-ups should receive consolation prizes, so me and Pulse just scrambled around the ‘tower’ and found these.”

“Anyways, that’s it!”

“Like I said, it was amazing holding this competition, and I hope me and everyone else had a fun time with it! Now we’re done, so so long! For the last time…

My name is Step, and this has been the Battle of the Blixers! Until then, see you!”

.

.

.

.

“So what now?”

“To be honest I have no clue. Probably gonna sleep and also watch these other universes I found. Speaking of, there’s this one cool universe I found, their Barracuda is a snake man who is extreme evil, and last I checked the you and me in it were working together!”

“Okay.”

“Oh, and their Lycanthropy was my brother? I think? Was it blood or found? I don’t remember.”

“Speaking of, I gazed into the Black Room again. I think I saw someone, but it might’ve just been me. Looked a lot like your descriptions of th……..

The two continued their talk, which if I will fill this ending segment with, Tumblr might actually crash lmfao

Anyways, sorry the ending post took so long, i suddenly got a small internship somewhere so it was a bit busy

Other than that, fun contest, yeah? It was really fun hosting it for me!! But if it wasnt fun for any of the competitors, i am genuinely really sorry and i wanna make it up to you if i can

Idk if ill do another contest, but if i will then idk when lol

I have an idea for this tho, maybe a talk-show like thing where step interviews jsab fancharacters?

BotB is gonna be my main au now cuz i gotten extremely attached to the botb gang (which is canonically only step & pulse, but the others are gonna join in if i introduce them in botb lore lol)

Sorry H*I & main au, i dont wanna play with you anymore /ref

Anyways have a good day!!!! Nyazhi out!!!!

[aquareegia]

Thought I'd share with everyone, who doesn't speak German. In yesterday's livestream with ESC Kompakt, LOTL shared some thoughts about the voting system and the impact of juries in Eurovision. I think they speak for a lot of us here, bc these are issues we point out every year.

Chris: "Generally I have an opinion about the ESC, specific things and the voting system. I don't say this because I'm searching for excuses or I want to say "yeah, but we were actually in sixteenth place in the televoting and blah blah blah". I'm not trying to sugarcoat the result but generally I think if I were responsible for the ESC and could make changes, I'd firstly get rid of the big 5. We realised it backstage at the semi finals, everyone was so happy, they fought hard, they did it and you walk along and... nobody gives you dirty looks but everyone is congratulating eachother and you're just there and feel bad because you're automatically in the final. That's the first thing.

Secondly that only the first ten get points. When 26 countries are competing, it would be nice if we could implement a system where everyone gets points. Maybe weighted differently but still get points. I think that would be nice.

And finally, sorry if I'm getting ahead of myself, I don't want to start arguing but I'm a big fan of the people's choice! I think it doesn't matter how good and professional a member of the jury is, we're all human and we all have different preferences. And maybe there's someone (in the jury) from country xy, like a great schlager singer that won the ESC in the 60's confronted with a guy like Käärijä. Maybe she doesn't understand why an entry like this is a smart, artistic, great entry in today's ESC world, and says "What's this trash? He doesn't even sing." You know what I mean? Those are three things I'd change."

Pi: "You have... how many was it? 136 from all countries? And you have millions of audience votes and the fact that this is weighted 50/50. A small handful of people have the same impact as millions of people, in direct comparison, they actually have more impact. I think it's always problematic when a small group of people have the most power. For example, without trashing the rich, but the billionaires of the world, as few as they are, have more influence than regular people. And that's... I think that's questionable."

Despite the criticism I really like how positive they are and say that they'd participate again anytime, just because of how much they enjoyed the general experience.

[4me2knowandyou2wonder]

As a fandom we have come to the conclusion that Graves has mommy issues. This got me thinking… So hi i'm here to talk about some of the southern parenting I’ve seen in the form of Graves’ mother head canons. Welcome!! (or at least I tried to do that jury is still out lol)

This post is dedicated to @captain-mj ! and is based on This poll where, we can all agree, the answer is Graves! LMAO

now, onto Mrs. Graves:

Phil's Mother is seen in her community as a kind and strong willed woman. People might describe her as ‘a joy to talk to,’ ‘always ready to offer a helping hand,’ and ‘a strong leader’ but there are also people in her community that refuse to describe her at all. ‘Oh do you know Mrs. Graves?’ these people may be asked. ‘We're not close,’ these people will reply, letting their tone carry the end of a topic.

This is because, to those who meet her in passing, she’s a wide smile, a southern drawl and sugary attitude—What they don’t see is this is all done because she is using kindness and charisma to craft a careful social narrative that is designed to keep criticism at bay, and people complacent. (Have you ever noticed that humans are more willing to let people who we consider ‘good’ get away with hurting others?) Mrs. Graves cannot handle anyone challenging her authority, and she is constantly fighting to make sure no one may question her.  

To those who spend more time with her, her personality becomes much more clear. She’s the woman who won’t hesitate to tell the farm hand what they’d done so wrong, the woman who will demand hard work and harder hours, the woman who is seemingly blind to the struggles of anyone who she deems under her. (Which is everyone except the people who will grant her social power btw.) 

Those who are unlucky enough to get closer to her have seen even more of the cracks in her mask. Mrs. Graves holds her power over the others heads, she will claim she deserves privileges beyond a reasonable expectation, she often uses the lord’s word as justification for unjustified opinions, and (in some cheap version of making herself look Better) Mrs. Graves complains about those she deems ‘under her social level’ to ‘peers.’

The largest crack in that ceramic smile, however—the one that reveals the raw flesh beneath—is how she treats her son. 

Her “mini me.”

Mrs. Graves enacted strict control over all activities Phil did. Privacy was a luxury not a right, and it was a luxury he didn’t have. “You shouldn’t have anything to hide,” was a common phrase uttered. Phil had limited and monitored access to any ideas outside of the christian ideals his mother wanted for him. Phil went to christian school, and any friends he was allowed to hang out with outside school hours were either from his church or approved by his mother. Phil didn’t fight this. He was a kid, this was his mother. She said she knew what was right for him, so she knew what was right for him. He liked it when his mother thought of him as a good son and letting her approve of all his friends would make her think that. 

Mrs. Graves used her husband’s authority for her own gain, using the “man of the house” as a tool to inflict her will. Mr. Graves’ parents did have a hand in his matrimony :/. They found him a nice christian woman for their good (read: bitter and emotionally closed) christian son. Mr. Graves shares the same perspective of gender roles as his wife… 

Actually I need to stop talking about Phil’s father, this is a post about mommy issues. 

Point is, if Phil did something wrong in Mrs. Graves eyes she would threaten Phil with his father’s wrath. And if Phil did something wrong in his father’s eyes his father would rage on his own. Phil hated disappointing his mother, but he feared making his father mad.

-

Phil’s mother of course forced him into community activities as much as she could, church groups, 4H, anything that had a community where her boy could make her look good. She would make him participate and do the best work he could even if he hated it, he had to win every paper boat race, every mini science fair. Sometimes she would do the work for him to make sure it was done ‘right.’ Mrs. Graves would berate Phil if he ever did anything that might make her look like a “bad parent” (Like losing the boat race … Ma’am please…)

Mrs. Graves also believes emotions are a weakness especially from women and believes emotions are simply not allowed for men either. Any Big feelings Phil showed as a kid were frowned upon and chastised. He was made to feel pathetic for fear, sadness, and even anger.

Mrs. Graves is unafraid to use humiliation to punish her son, she will happily drag him aside and chew him out in front of his friends. Sometimes it's a show for Mrs. Graves' friends, other times no one is around and she is just angry at something he did. 

As an example of how Mrs. Graves handled parenting, A kid on the playground once shoved Phil to the ground and stole the toy dino he was playing with. Phil wanted to cry, but “Buck up” was one of his mother’s favorite phrases, and Phil hated to be told to Buck Up so instead he got angry. He rips the dino out of the other kid's hand and yells at the other kid that he hates them. I’ll spare you a whole play by play about what happened and give you the footnotes:

-Phil gets his toy back, but his anger didn’t go unnoticed by his mother

-His mother realizes that the other Kid’s mother has now seen Phil act up and can’t handle the perceived judgment.

-everything Phil does she takes as a direct reflection on HER so she is blinded by this hit to her ego

-she now must prove to the other mother that she is a Good Mom who has her kid Under Control

-She yells at Phil, grabs his ear, forces him to apologize and gives the dino back to the other kid (it's Phil’s toy) she tells him they’re going home.

-the other kid has realized their own mistake and quietly gives Phil back his toy. 

-Mrs. Graves doesn’t realize Phil has the dino back until they’re in the car.

-She grabs the dino, breaks it and throws it out the car window

wow… That hurt to write

Anyway~

It wasn’t always bad, When Phil did something good he was showered in praise and affection. If he was cute for a picture, If he complimented his mother in front of her friends, or won a school competition (remember this reflects well on her), that's when life was good. She’d get all sweet, maybe they’d get ice cream later, or maybe she’d even tell him that she loves him.

I hope you’re picking up what I'm putting down: that Love was inherently conditional for Phil. 

But you see, Phil has known no other type. He never knew unconditional love, this was just how life was. As long as he worshiped his mother, sung her praises, was successful, was good and listened to what she asked, he was loved. As a long-term consequence of this Phil is always looking for praise and reassurance, he has deep rooted self worth issues that he can’t see.

-

Phil’s mom has always been described to him as powerful, a woman to respect, (no one is going to insult someone's mother to their face. Though they probably should have, because now…) Phil has internalized these ideas, and he can’t see how flawed his mother truly is. Phil has idolized his mother, becoming blind to her faults in some twisted compensation for all the pain she has caused him. (Phil is the type of person to say “sometimes I just needed a good slap” and MEAN IT.)

His worship of his mother was of course more extreme when he was a naive child. So during his tween and teen years when he was a bit more of his own person ‘all the sudden’ a rift definitely started to develop between him and his mother. 

Phil’s mother has always made jokes about never wanting Phil to grow up, never wanting him to stop being her little boy. Once he was grown they just shifted to wishing he never had. Sometimes when she’s feeling affectionate towards her son, (normally after being particularly doted on by her adult child,) she’ll say ‘You’ll always be a little kid to me.’ Phil thinks its praise, thinks its love. He can’t see how toxic the narrative is. She’s expressing love for the young kid who worshiped her, and denouncing the teen or adult that is his own person in front of her. ‘I wish you were still that little kid, I wish you’d never gotten bigger.’ These are words that hurt, but cut in a way that isn’t felt on the surface. 

(sorry, the timeline ran away from me. We’re going back to roughly Phil’s teen years again, weeee!)  

Speaking of hurt that isn’t felt on the surface! While corporal punishment wasn’t uncommon in the Graves’ household, 

(sometimes in the classical sense when he was younger, but also as a teen in the sense of off-handed corporal corrections, like the quick hards knocks over the head if he talks back, the swift yank of taking something from his hands, and kick in the shin under the table if he talked too much to guests about something that interested him.)

There was also an undercurrent of causal aggressive physicality that Graves hasn’t identified as abusive to this day, because, well, these family interactions that were always spoken of positively. Why should reality be any different? These are all just loving family play? Right? 

The dig of nails into his side to jumpscare him around the kitchen counter, (only to be laughed out when he yelped). The trick that got him to picking up something hot when he should’ve ‘known better.’ The throw his favorite canned cranberry sauce into his shoulder hard, as a ‘gift’ 

Graves got mad at that one at first, telling his mother to not throw hard cans at him, as duh, it hurt?? She chewed him out for 15 minutes about how she’d done something nice and gotten him something he liked and his ungrateful ass was so selfish that he couldn’t even say thank you“Th-”“Do not interrupt me!”

She ‘didn’t hurt him’ and ‘he was being dramatic,’ ‘a real man could handle a light hit to the shoulder!’ 

Graves tried to show her the already forming bruise. She offered to give him a real one. 

That was her joking with him… right?

These are the interactions that Phil would never see as trauma inducing. These are positive memories starring playful family rough housing. 

He doesn’t give a second thought to why he remembers each one vividly. 

-

Okay, almost done!! Adult years! 

Once he was 18, Phil left to join the army and Serve His Country as the Good American he was, but even out from under her rein Mrs. Graves’ influence can be felt. 

Mrs. Graves always demanded respect, and like a good southern boy, Phil has always given it to her. Even now as an adult Phil loves his mother and tells everyone he couldn’t ask for a better mom. (He really could…) He has disregarded his own emotional well being in a desperate attempt to be a good son, and can’t even see it.

I mean, of course he did. Taking care of his mental well-being was frowned upon. If he wasn’t pushing himself to perform for his mother he wasn’t being a good son. But now the last time Graves cried was at 15 years old, and he’ll need to do a lot of healing before he’s able to again.

When he visits his mother she without fail tells him he doesn’t come home enough. All mothers think their kids should come home more, but Mrs. Graves makes it sound like a personal affront. When he’s home the light bullying hasn’t stopped. He can’t do much without being chastised. Even when he does something she can’t criticize like taking care of himself she can often find a way to make a remark. (like putting on sunscreen? ‘Scared of a little son, don’t want a thick skin?’)

[transmascutena]

finding a good reaction series for any anime is so hard, and then trying to find one for utena is like trying to find a needle in a very small haystack, i think i've only found like one or two??? that have actually been pretty enjoyable?? and by that i mean, like, where the reactors actually take the show seriously and try to analyze and understand all of the symbolism/meaning/commentaries on society instead of being just like 'woahhh that was weird ig, oh well' and just moving on. although one of the ones i enjoyed also completely missed that juri was in love with shiori in her first episode but honestly i found that more hilarious than frustrating considering how good they were at picking up other small details and how blatantly it was spelt out hfsiuacjk. suffice to say, they figured it out later.

but like when I found the other good reactor to utena it was SOOO nice. like. i don't need the reactor to be absolutely correct on everything and catch every single detail, i just need somebody WILLING to actually engage with the show, and have the ability to look deeper than surface level. i've watched this reactor regularly for a while and i figured utena was the type of weird symbolic stuff he would really enjoy, but when I was proven right and he loved the show and loved the characters and created well-reasoned theories and predictions it was SOOOO satsifying. and i can probably never recommend him to anyone in good faith because he can make some tasteless jokes that i've been pretty desensitized to over the years because he says them more as a bit, but it's still to the extent that I can't tell how other people would take it if they were to watch him for the first time. but when it came to the utena and akio stuff he immediately understood that the show was depicting grooming and abuse and treated it as such in his commentary even before episode 33. and i know like that's probably a low bar, but after seeing people think it was a legit romance, it was so gratifying to see the actions of akio being responded with immediate disgust. he said that utena was probably in his favorite shows of all time at the end of the series, and he was so excited at almost every twist of the plot, so altogether my favorite reactor.

anyways, all that's to say, do you have any reaction series recommendations for utena that you think were a good watch? thanks for your time and all of your great utena posting!

only utena reaction series i remember liking pretty much all the way through was the one by semblance of sanity. there were probably things they missed or whatever as there will always be on a first viewing, and some of the things they said about the final episode in particular were a bit odd (though i've forgotten what exactly it was), but generally it was very enjoyable to me. you could tell they liked the show a lot and wanted to understand it and i think it also helped that they were two people who could bounce ideas and theories off each other. most reactors do it alone which can in my opinion get a bit stale at times. it was really just one of those things where i was looking forward to the new episode from them every single week (maybe helped too that it was only my own second or third rewatch and i was looking for new stuff myself still). i even subscribed to their patreon for a month towards the end so i could view the full uncut reactions, meaning i effectively watched the whole thing twice, but i don't think that was the smartest use of my money or my time lol

[mikhailwrites]

Waiting for Connection 14 / Ghost x Soap

Ghost is retired and plays milsim videogame. Soap is still in the force and sometimes plays that same videogame...

Previous chapter | AO3

Ghost thanks Gaz and bids him good night before he rejoins the main voice channel. As expected, a rather wild discussion is underway. Clearly, the jury is out about whether or not they should’ve split.

“It was a sound idea, threw me off,” Ghost voices his opinion and announces himself at the same time. There’s a brief moment of silence.

“But it didn’t work in the end,” Roach quips, sounding a little bitter. Not overly so, thankfully, it’s just a game, after all. They all know the difference, intimately so.

“You got way closer to the extraction than I thought you would. I assume you wanted to either flush us out or create a diversion?”

“Yes to both, actually,” Alejandro says, “Soap thought that you will expect us sticking together or at the very least split into two pairs, covering each other. We were hoping to gain some upper hand. But I guess we underestimated your friend. Is he joining?”

“No, he’s… a very private person. But he enjoyed the game so I can extend his thanks. Told me that whoever he managed to jump in the lower part of the base was pretty solid. He was lucky to win that one.”

“That was me,” Roach replies, “I had a clumsy aim, it was a deserved death.”

“I’m sure you’re gonna walk all over me next time. You know the layout of the base and the terrain now, and the help I’ve got was a one-time thing.”

“But that wouldn’t really be a fair fight,” Rudy remarks.

At that moment, Ghost realises something. “Where’s Johnny?”

“Had to go, said he wasn’t feeling too good,” Roach explains.

“Ah, I see. Alright, I think I’ll call it a night as well. It was a good game, I’m looking forward to a rematch.”

“Yeah, sure, we’re gonna kick your ass, cabron,” Alejandro laughs.

Simon turns off the PC, puts the headset on a stand and reaches for his phone. He debates with himself for a little before he opens a new text message and types, “Thanks for the game; you were good. Hope you will feel better in the morning. S.” He hits the Send button without thinking too long about it. Otherwise, he would probably change his mind.

Soap’s phone buzzes on the nightstand just as its owner returns from the shower. Soap’s eyebrow quirks up momentarily as he sits on the bed and looks who’s messaging him so late; not many people have his number, and a substantial portion of them wouldn’t bother him at this hour unless it were urgent.

Flicking the lock screen away, he’s surprised to see the message is from Ghost. It’s short but considerate. A little sweet, really. Truth be told, Soap’s only has a minor headache, nothing that would warrant his quick retreat from the game. The real reason why he disconnected was this bitterness that swallowed him whole. Ghost has been ignoring him ever since John left Manchester, and then he shows up with this entirely impossible scenario and some unknown friend to boot? John is not jealous; that was probably the first thing he ruled out. He’s not a jealous man and never has been. But he is confused, and that confusion leads to frustration.

“Just a headache. Thanks for the game, it was interesting,” John types and sends the reply. He knows he could’ve ignored it and could pretend he was already asleep.

And since his phone starts to ring in the next second, he’s sorry he actually did reply. Well, no way around it now. With a sigh, he takes the call.

“Ghost,” John says in a way of greeting while he sheds the towel around his waist and gets in the bed.

“Johnny… how are you?” the deep timbre of Simon’s voice is pleasant. Soothing, almost.

John frowns, remembering he forgot to open the window a bit to let some fresh air in. “Fine. Tired, have a headache, nothing a good night’s sleep won’t solve.”

Simon hums in contemplation, Soap uses the break to get from the bed and open the window. The moment he does, cold air hits him hard. He’s still a bit damp on the back. A low hiss catches Simon’s attention. “You sure you’re alright?”

“Aye, ‘s just bloody cold outside. My balls almost froze the moment I opened the window,” John admits.

Simon chuckles into the phone, and John pauses. He sounds different than in the game. It makes sense, of course; a phone call has a different quality to it. “Do you build a blanket nest on the base as you did at my place?” There’s a hint of teasing lightness to his voice.

“I might, got a problem with it?” John challenges, but there’s no bite.

“Why should I? It’s just…,” Simon trails off, as if unsure how he wanted to finish the sentence.

“Aye?” John presses on, seeking the warmth of his blanket once more. It’s nice to be snuggled in bed with Simon in his ear. Suddenly, all the bitterness and frustration from earlier simply fizzles off. He never had any real reason to be angry, anyway. It’s not like Simon owed him anything, and he didn’t ghost (or Ghost?) him, either. Every time John asked, Simon simply politely declined, never left him hanging.

“It’s a little unusual,” Simon finally finishes the sentence from earlier.

Now it’s Soap’s turn to chuckle. “I bet you’ve seen a ton of weirder shit when you served.”

“I did, but I always appreciated a nice quirk. So long as it wasn’t dangerous.”

“The opposite, actually. It’s a camouflage technique, really handy behind enemy lines,” Soap says, pretending to be dead serious. In moments like this, he feels like he’s known Simon for years: the banter, easy conversations, jokes.

“Right. I guess the field manual changed since I got out,” Simon plays along immaculately.

“Nah, it didn’t; this is our very own Scottish thing; you wouldnae ken about it.”

“That explains it. Speaking of, I was meaning to ask… why SAS?” That’s a good question. Usually, people assume it’s just a prestige thing. However, someone who’s ex-SAS would know better.

“Didnae wanna be a cog in the regular army, knew I had what it takes to make the selection, and I wanted to do shit that actually matters,” John answers truthfully. Only a handful of people know his reasons; the rest got the usual bullshit of serving the country and being the best. “Why did you do it?”

There’s a moment of silence. John actually expects an outright refusal, but he’s at an advantage: Ghost asked him first and got the truth. It would be a dick move to bail now. “I was never a great team player,” Ghost starts and pauses, thinking about what he’s just said before continuing. “Well, that’s not exactly true… I was never a great babysitter. I worked best alone and I was so good at it, that my CO had no choice but to ship me out to the selection. Told me it’s the best he can do for me and that I would thank him later.”

“Did you?”

“I did. Eventually. I didn’t enlist because of some ideals, I joined because I had nowhere else to go, never aimed to prove something to some wankers I’ve never seen.”

“Did you ever regret it? Enlisting, I mean.”

“No. Never. I’m not really religious, but I guess it was my calling. Something I was meant to do. Otherwise, I couldn’t have been so damn efficient at it. It all came easy to me. Not all, but things that mattered. Stuff that helped me survive and complete my missions.”

Soap stays silent, feeling Simon’s words sink under his skin, heavy and tinged with darkness. Before he can think of anything to say to that, Simon continues. “Sorry, that turned a bit dark I guess. We should probably hit the bed, especially you, Sergeant.”

“I can handle an early start and shitty sleep, Ghost, don’t you worry,”

“Yeah, but I can’t. Remember, I’m an old man now,” Simon’s voice carries a lightness of smile.

“I see. Well then, out of respect to my elders, I’ll let you go then. Good night, Si,” John uses the nickname. He’s been very careful with it so far, unsure if Simon likes it or not.

“Good night, Johnny,” Simon repays him in kind.

I tried Ghost Recon Breakpoint since I dropped it soon after it released. Ubisoft actually kinda fixed it! I still like Wildlands more, but it ain't bad. Created a totally-not-OG-Soap, too.

[storiesofsvu]

Okay I do live reactions for svu so I should do them for evolution too, right? Lol

TO the newcomers: my live watch thoughts are always rather disjointed, unhinged and might not make sense without context, my opinions/thoughts might change on a second glance/second watch through (which i'll do once it's on disney this weekend). anything in my askbox related to this i will wait a few days to reply to to avoid spoilers for others!

Starting off strong with the vic they dressed similar to jj to make us all panic, so that’s out of the way.

Kinda lowkey hate how this is a follow up from last season but starting with shit we have no major connection to HOWEVER, I do like that that’s how the og eps would start so that’s a step in the right direction, right?

“SSA emily prentiss”??!! has she been demoted or was that just an easier way to introduce herself?

OKAY, em not being at garcia’s bday makes a little more sense now if she’s off working a different case, she hasn’t been kidnapped …yet…

“we should eat some cake” tara being the realest here. Where’s my cake? I still haven’t gotten my birthday treat, this is a crime. Someone remind me to pick up cake on Friday before work.

“you’re hot”(screaming cause jj sees what we see) “a hot mess…” yup.. tara is still the realest. Also “mr or mrs right” confirmed pan queen

Jfc Emily looks SO FUCKING GOOD

OH FUCK ME the SMOKING IS IN THE FIRST EPISODE?! Fuck

BOTH OF THEM ARE SMOKING OHHHMY FUCKING GOODDD. It’s a crime that we didn’t get to see either of them actually smoking though, like they were half offscreen, we all know paget knows how to inhale LOL.

It’s voit she’s consulting with, right?

“good book I hope” LOL. Omg luke

And we have our first fuck of the season!

Voit showing off just exactly how good he is and how he would absolutely win over a jury is such a good play and im here for it.

Second fuck of the season.

Also like…yeah.. they’ve got zero concrete proof that voit was/is sicarius. That’s the thing with criminal minds, they NEVER follow past the point of arrest. 90% of their unsubs would end up in mental health facilities or be able to plead not guilty by reason of mental defect. That’s why the show worked so well prior to evolution, we didn’t deal with that much of the political side of it, the team went home and we all just imagined the unsubs went to prison (if they weren’t killed). There would be no way voit would end up charged with this shit unless they had a TON more of evidence.

LOVE rossi & prentiss’ little tiff that’s really just them watching out for each other and making sure they know the other person still has their back.

On the other side, I’m still not sure whether I’m leaning toward Rebecca or tara’s side. I love them both and will forever be made about the killing the gays trope holding up so we’ll see how the season goes..

I am loving how heavy prentiss of an ep this is

JFC. The two with the most heavy trauma lingering from the last season REALLY had to go through THAT???

OKAY THAT WAS JUST LAZY WRITING!!! I KNOW that Emily only said the “didn’t call 911, walked 3 miles…” thing to rossi earlier but to repeat it that quickly in the same episode is…ugh..

“HE” compromised an investigation… uh… that was half Penelope my guy

Ok but now that that whole investigation is no longer a thing and no longer a case whatsoever that was just the easy way of making it not a conflict of interest and now we’re stuck with this awkward love triangle that shouldn’t be a triangle, right? Like, last season it was a little off imo of Garcia, but we’re what? Halfway through episode one and I don’t EVER remember seeing Penelope like this, she keeps saying “I broke up with him” GURL, you WERE NEVER TOGETHER. You kissed twice, you helped him through a public drunk/hangover, you banged and Emily went “dude wtf call it off” and you ended it. She’s acting like a love drunk highschooler who’s been pining after this guy for months…

Rebecca is SO SMOL

Tyler green’s actor reminds me of ryan Reynolds… like… voice and mannerisms? He’s Canadian.. are they like, distantly related?

“he tried to kill me” “but he didn’t” wtf bruh

LOOOL the way rossi stepped in before Emily could end up all “yeah fuck authority, fuck this, fuck you, and fuck your mom. Here’s my badge”

YESSSS EMILY’S FIRST FUCK

Also can we talk about the fact that we’re into like.. day 3? I think and these babes have not slept…. (day 3 for at least em, tara & pen..)

“I’ll post it on youtube myself” dave… there is no way in hell you know how to use youtube…

Okay. Episode one down. Onto episode two.

 Goddammit there’s no subtitles on ep 2 lol

Tbh. I love clark Gregg, I think he’s a great addition to the cast.

I can’t stop thinking about the thirst tweets and Zach being all “you guys think serial killers are cute? Uwu” LOL

Penelope comparing her like, week long hook up with tyler to tara’s entire relationship?? (yeah I know we don’t know exactly how long they were together but if they were talking about moving it we can assume it was a decent amount of time?). I HATE what they’re doing to Penelope… like..i could turn a blind eye last season and say it was a fluke but not anymore.

FUCK Emily is so goddamn hot

I repeat my last statement oh my fucking god.

Rossi hallucinating is not okay, like…I know a lot of it is ptsd or whatever but like.. man needs to retire

I am REALLY liking getting to see this much prentiss and rossi in the first 2 eps, I saw a tweet or something bout how paget really got to shine in the first 2 eps and that’s so true. HOWEVER, that makes me stressed that she’s got a ton of screen time in the first couple of eps cause of whatever happens to her later on and her being kidnapped/going rogue or whatever happens that has her nearly blown up/injured in the promo shots we’ve seen.

Also okay, listen, Paget’s incredible. She’s been doing this same role for… let’s say 12 years, she’s stepped away to other jobs and come back to CM, the show’s been cancelled and then renewed and she’s still managing to play it perfectly, keep the character the same, her line delivery, her body language, she just slips right back into it and her acting never deviates (unlike some other actors in similar situations). Her talking to that kid was PURE Emily from earlier seasons.

Omg this entire ex gf bickering in front of tyler is HILARIOUS and I am tyler…like, get me out of the car PLEASE lol.

Okay wow… tara that was a little deep cut my girl.

A HOTCH REFERENCE?!?! Also yeesss Emily calling rossi out to say he’d never do it to him. It’s gotta be that awkward situation of being his boss when he’s older, he’s a man, he “should have been the UC before her”, maybe there was a time when he outranked her. trust me, as someone who’s had to navigate that kinda shit in a bar world, that’s awkward enough, props to em for calling him out. Please continue to call men on their crap.

  YES ANOTHER FUCK omg.

I wanna say thank you to whatever director had Rebecca behind the drivers seat and tara in the passenger seat and the camera angles filming them diagonally rather then Rebecca sitting in the middle for no reason other than angles.

Emily’s hair is going to get progressively more straight/unstyled as the season goes on cause she’s more unhinged/out of control/losing it, isn’t it?

The fact that they really listened and put Emily in blue and red in her first two eps…thank you .. lol

“it used to be hard to get someone to take a life. But now, it’s easy. All you’ve gotta do is go on the internet.. tell em a lie.. a big lie..” the TRUTH to that statement is actually fucking terrifying…

Hate voit calling jj “Jennifer” BUT I also know in previous seasons she’s been  all “my friends call me jj, you can call me Jennifer” it’s just weird to hear lol.

Okay,,, is em hyper fixating and she fucked up by mentioning gold star or are we meant to believe that rn? Like obvi she’s gonna be focused on that cause of bailey’s death and her denial of working with voit and wanting to solve that case but… still.. yup… no gold star.. not totally surprised. HOWEVER would NOT be surprised that the same trope comes out later in the season, that they’re working something else and Emily is second guessing herself/dave gives her a look and she’s all “yeah you’re right, I was wrong last time.” And doesn’t believe herself and BAM it actually is gold star and maybe that’s what draws her into the field on her own or whatever.

Okay… im assuming we weren’t supposed to hear what voit said to luke? Or am I just deaf without my subtitles LOL.

“who’s infected now?”  oooohh kay…. Way to end an episode.

Alright, there we are. ep 1 was better? I’ll likely rewatch when they drop on Disney plus tomorrow/Friday after work, but those are my thoughts so far.

[catierambles]

Feral Instincts Ch.31

Pairing: The Rogue’s Gallery (Geralt, Syverson, Mike, August Walker, Walter Marshall) x Stephanie Daniels (OFC)

WC 1415

Warnings: Mentions of injury/torture

There were dark circles under her eyes when they walked into the hospital the next day, Stephanie wearing one of Walter’s jumpers that swamped her. August had pulled at her wolf, helping her heal, her injuries now more an annoyance than an actual concern.

She burst into tears when she saw Mike, running over to him, holding him tightly as his fingers wove through her hair, his lips moving over hers as he kissed her deeply. Albert was still unconscious, but scans showed healthy brain activity and he was breathing on his own. Spreading out next to him on the narrow hospital bed, she laid her hand over his heart, reaching out with her wolf and finding his. It was scared, curled in on itself, licking its wounds, but she felt as it felt hers and she gently coaxed it out of hiding, keeping it just below the surface. He breathed in deep, his heart rate spiking, and his eyes opened. They immediately settled on her and he began to sob, the smell of his fear sharp in her nose.

“He kept trying to get me to call you. To ask you to come back.” He said, “He would hit me, or cut me, when I refused. He ordered me over and over again, hurt me over and over again when I told him no.”

“It’s okay, sweety. I’m so proud of you. My strong Omega.” She said, pressing her forehead against his. “He’s not going to hurt you again. He’s not going to hurt anyone ever again.”

“Is he dead?” She just nodded and that made him sob harder, but out of relief.

Later, she stared at the Council rep from across the table at one of their local offices. They had called her in, ordered her, really. Sy and August wanted her to tell them to piss off, but she wanted to get it over and done with. They were standing behind her, arms folded over their chests, a male Alpha wall of protection. Even Napoleon was there, off to the side, having met them outside the building.

“We wanted him alive, Ms. Daniels.”

“Fuck you.” She said simply and he blinked at her in surprise. “He deserved to die.”

“A bit hypocritical, don’t you think? Based on your opinion of the Cleaners?”

“If Albert had died, if Mike had died,” Walter started, “And Jordan had been taken into police custody. He would have been charged with two counts of first degree murder while in the process of a felony, namely grievous bodily injury with the ultimate goal of kidnapping Stephanie. With the aggravating factors, i.e. his history of abuse, he would have been eligible for the death penalty. All the Prosecutor would have had to do was show pictures of the victims, how they were found, as well as Stephanie’s previous wounds and there wouldn’t have been a jury in this world who wouldn’t have decided to put a needle in his arm. The fact that Albert is a child, legally, would have only strengthened it. So don’t you dare call her a hypocrite.” Napoleon’s phone went off in his pocket and he answered it, still staring at the Council rep.

“Solo.” He listened for a bit. “Thank you.” He hung up, sliding his phone back into his inner breast pocket. “I had them run the Feral’s DNA through ViCAP in coordination with federal law enforcement.”

“Why would you do that?” Sy asked.

“Call it a gut feeling.” He said, shrugging, “It popped on about a half dozen unsolved murders across the country, his DNA found under the female victim’s fingernails. There were about a dozen more with a similar MO but no DNA. Guy liked knives and playing with his victims. Only one survivor.”

“Let me guess.” Stephanie said, “A wolf.”

“Good guess.” Napoleon said.

“She survived the attack, but in the process of her fighting him off, he got infected.” Stephanie said and he made an acknowledging sound with a nod. “Makes sense why he was able to hide his Feral status so well. He was used to wearing masks.”

“And he was batshit before becoming a wolf,” Sy said, “Not because of it.”

“In my professional opinion,” Walter said, “He probably targeted Stephanie as his next victim, but he felt what we all did and his wolf claimed her as a Mate, although she wasn’t a wolf yet. Deluded, but par for the course with Ferals. So instead of killing her, he dated her, but he couldn’t hide all the time, so he wasn’t exactly boyfriend of the year. She tried to leave him, so he infected her, probably thinking she’d be exactly like him and they’d be a bloodier Bonnie and Clyde. Cutting a swathe through the country until they were finally hunted and put down by a Tracker, possibly even by Geralt.”

“But he couldn’t control her.” Geralt said, “She ran away after he infected her, found Sy, and asked him for help.”

“And here we are.” Sy said, “Eighteen dead women, that we know of, and one attempted. Death penalty, Walt?”

“Many, many, times over. There would have been a fight over who got to do it.”

“I wonder,” Stephanie said, “How many victims there were after the DNA started coming back as wolf. Seeing as the Council likes to maintain their squeaky clean image. Wouldn’t shock me if they “took over” the investigations and swept it under the rug. No serial killer wolves here, no Sir. He didn’t stay in one spot, have one hunting ground, so you can't send a Tracker if you don’t know where to send the Tracker to.”

“Never heard anything about it.” Geralt said, shaking his head.

“Leon, what’s the technical term for it if it were to get out that the Pack Council was concealing the existence of a serial killer that turned furry? Not just from the public, but from the organizations that could have stopped him?” She asked.

“A shit storm, Stephanie, it’s called a shit storm.” He said.

“You wouldn’t.” The rep said.

“Fuckin’ try me.” She said, “Shit has to change. We’re not hiding anymore, we can’t act like we still are. I wonder how many women would still be alive if the Pack Council had worked with the Feds in tracking him down?”

“I’m putting Stephanie’s name forward as a candidate for Councilor.” Napoleon said, “There are a few wolves that are…past their prime that should have stepped down years ago. They have the majority vote. Replacing even one of them would swing the vote in favor of reform and cooperation. No more Cleaners, no more cover-ups.”

“What happened to me being naive?”

“I would call you more of an idealist.” Napoleon said and she snorted.

“Why would they step down?” Sy asked, “Old dudes in power like to stay in power.”

“I would very politely, and respectfully, let them know that stepping down is in their best interest.” Leon said.

“You’d blackmail a Councilor?” The rep asked.

“Absolutely not. Wouldn’t dream of it.” Leon said, “I would simply say that stepping down in the interest of reform is what’s best for everyone. Times are changing, and we need to change with them. If they stepped down in order to further advance relationships and partnerships with the human government and governmental entities, it would look best for them. Putting the interests of all wolves ahead of their own. What would be your first order, Steph? Hypothetically speaking.”

“Repurpose the Cleaners as Trackers.” She said, “After extensive psychological evaluations. Starting with this one.” She jutted her thumb over her shoulder at August and he scowled at her. “I’m joking. About you, anyway.”

“After that?” Leon asked.

“Meet with the heads of the Alphabet Mafia, lay everything out on the table. Full disclosure. Trust is a two-way street.”

“I like it.” Leon said, “Show them our hand and encourage them to show theirs in the spirit of cooperation. Anything else?”

“Ask me again when that’s done.” She said and he nodded.

“Also, if any of the Council tries to block her,” August said, “Or do some shady bullshit to take her out of the picture, we’re returning whoever is involved back in pieces.” His head tilted to the side slightly, “Starting with you.” The representative paled and Stephanie rolled her eyes.

“August, he’s just a lackey.” She said, “Don’t be a dick.”

“Just looking out for you, Princess.”

“Testosterone disaster.” She mumbled and Walter snorted.

[the-phantom-author]

Hasan Piker Lawyer S/O

Long time comming, dedicated to @gaytoadwithapopsicle and that one anon from a while ago. So, thank you for your paitence and much love.

Request are open, reblogs always welcomed

Hasan’s controversially younger girlfriend, and by that i mean you're like 25-26 years old, so like 6-7 years younger than him. And meet while you 're finishing Law School.

While you were in school he’s so helpful, he;s constantly making sure that when you're studying, you're eating and drinking enough, and that you’re not keeping yourself cooped up too much.

Hasan is a master of scheduling things, if you ever feel like you need help figuring out how to balance your work/life relationship don’t be afraid to ask him. When/if you do ask him, he also adjusts his schedule to make sure that there is time for the two of you to hang out one-on-one, and spend time together without either of you worrying about work.

Once you do work in an office and are out of school, he starts having a day where he just doesn’t stream. Mostly to make sure that the two of you have time together, but also because it helps him make sure that the both of you have a good place to be able to relax in.

If you ever have a case that is bothering you that you can’t really talk about, Hasan is trying everything that he can to help de-stress you.

Also Hasan is like, super interested in the research you do for your cases. If you ever want to ramble for a while about the different subsets of laws and how they apply in different scenarios, he is so invested. He’s asking any and all questions that he can think of.

Even when you’re not actively explaining things, if he ever thinks of a law related question he immediately goes to you, he just puts so much trust in you. I can imagine him totally just messaging you in the middle of streams questions that he has while going through an article with chat. When you respond, he’s always going on and on about how much you know and how impressive you are before he actually talk about the information you gave him.

On stream is a bit different. There is a lot of comments about the age difference, but neither of you let it get anywhere. Hasan sees the most of it, but he also just takes the punches, very “Both of us are grown adults and you’re weird for implying that she’s incapable of making choices about whose appropriate for her to date.” while you are the one who will go on tangents about “You're such a fucking idiot. I'm a full grown adult, I'm not a social media personality, I'm not going into politics. Me being with Hasan brings me absolutely no social or career gain.” or  “I’ve been working on my career longer than I’ve been with him and no one in a damn court room cares who im dating. I could be dating Barack Obama and that doesn’t affect my ability to fight a case or argue a point. The fact that you equate a woman’s success to a man she didn’t gain that success from is disgusting. The fact that you think Hasan would do that is disgusting. The fact that your opinion as a jury member could be swayed by who a lawyer is dating, is disgusting. And since you wanna treat me like I’m still in highschool I’ll have you know I was 10 times more mature in freshman year then you will ever be.”

Those few chats that fo get through and you see, usually just result in you ingorign them or lecturing them, however if their ever is one that actually gets to you, to the point of you leaving the room completely. It’s not good. X X

[sercezgazety]

For all the times he thought about fucking Herbert West, Dan never imagined there would be a press coverage.

The pictures they draw in the courtroom are kinda hilarious. Herbert looks like a feral child, even shorter than in real life, unnaturally pink lips curled in a permanent snarl, and eyes ridiculously large. “The artist must have really wanted to be a gothic novel illustrator,” Herbert snorted back when they were still talking to each other. The way he said artist didn’t suggest irony, just distaste. Dan wasn’t spared from this kind of creative exaggeration either, by the way, his cheeks so hollow and circles around his eyes so dark, he looked like a skeleton in the first pictures. That was before he started stress-eating, that is, though the dark circles never go away. By the end of the trial, Dan from courtroom sketches resembles a very sad panda bear.

The moment Cornell took care of the bail — huge, but also ridiculously small, considering Herbert’s capabilities of causing harm — he apparently decided Herbert needed a makeover. He wasn’t stupid, he never told Herbert to smile for the cameras; there’s no world in which that could end well. It’s impossible to make Herbert with his speech patterns and his stare appear likeable, but Cornell did have his client memorize some lines that made him sound almost reasonable. Nothing too grand: not a word about defying God, no personal opinions on the value of an individual life in the great scheme of things. A scientific breakthrough, yes, and the methods were perhaps a bit unorthodox, but if we were to wait for the bureaucrats to find the right stamps in their desk drawers, the society would never get anywhere. The system’s rigged. Huge pharmaceutical companies have the proper resources to deal with all that paperwork and red tape, they have the money to send entire ethics committees on “scientific conferences” (the quotation marks are not performed with fingers but with a disdained grimace). Those are luxury cruises, actually, did you know? Glorified bribes. In this day and age, the little guy can do next to nothing. There’s no way for an independent researcher to act by the book and get any results. Just imagine how many breakthroughs we’ve all been robbed of by this system. And why? Because of ethical standards, as the industry would have you believe? Oh no. You see, they don’t care about progress, they don’t care about helping people or curing diseases the way the little guys do. They don’t care about us, Herbert recites, smoothly asserting himself as one of human beings. They want money. He holds his head high, and there’s fire in his eyes, the kind Dan’s grown to be wary of. One newspaper calls him charismatic.

The scientific rigor was upheld at all times during his research, Herbert tells the press, and Dan just knows he’s physically refraining from following rigor with mortis. Cornell decides that looking like an undertaker is not doing his client any favors, and finds a well-cut checkered suit in a reasonable shade of gray. Concessions need to be made. It’s wrong, it’s wrong, it’s wrong, and with the azure tie, Herbert looks so ridiculous, he might as well be wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a tramp stamp peeking out from underneath it.

“Do you know this man?” the prosecution asks Dan, pointing to this all-new, normal and respectable doctor, and Dan wants to say, no. That’s not Herbert, that’s someone else entirely. But he just nods. There’s a lump in his throat whenever he looks in the other defendant’s direction. Herbert’s doing his best not to show his discomfort with the bright colors and alien textures, but Dan knows him well enough to be aware he’s this close to tearing the clothes off.

Dan, on the other hand, doesn’t get any specific instructions on what to wear, except for ditching shirts that Ms. Rhiannon — Miss, she insists — proclaimed Byronic. There are women on the jury, she explains, but there are also husbands who don’t like their wives swooning over defendants. But besides that, be yourself.

When he puts on a sweater vest and a corduroy jacket, his lawyer claps her hands in delight. Perfect, she decrees. The ideal boy next door, no longer a paperback romance hero, oh no. Calm, friendly, reliable, one you’d want to grab a beer or a coffee with. She bats her eyelashes at that last part, though maybe Dan’s just imagining things. By the time the trial’s over, there’s no batting eyelashes at him anyway, just thirty extra pounds, gray hairs that suddenly got there despite the weird bald patches, and the humiliation of crying in front of a camera and not having any tissue. It takes him over a year to get back in shape, but it seems the liver spots are there to stay.

for angst, doomed middle aged men yaoi, and courtroom bathrooms continue reading here

(each chapter can work as a standalone, I think)

[hydrajones]

As promised to no one but myself, here's a quick rundown of my mom's epic Utena theories/reactions as of the end of the Student Council Saga (and ep 13 b/c recap)

-I don't remember anything specific for the first 3 episodes, other than general anger at Saionji and deciding Nanami was a brat. My bad-

-*at start of show* "Okay, mom, pay attention to the opening since it has clues" "Okay!" *episode 4* "Wait, is that the bratty sister in the opening?" "...you just noticed that?" "Oh hush, you know I never pay attention to openings"

-I don't remember exactly what she said, but she quickly realized that Miki REALLY wants to get reconnected with his sister and his 1st crush is getting all mixed in it

-also she officially finds Nanami funny, says she "acts more like a 10 year old" then a 12 year old

-spent the entire Tsuwabuki into episode absolutely funny/shocking. Spent the whole time laughing and gasping

-figures out the lesbian Juri plot twist immediately

-also spent the entire curry episode laughing and lightly concerned over how determind the elephants were

-*about Touga* "He is so not her prince!" <- repeated with more frustration everytime Utena thinks that

-*in episode 9* "I almost feel bad for Saionji..." *he slaps Anthy again* "Nevermind"

-"Well, the girl is Utena but Touga isn't the prince from the opening..?" "Yeah, Saionji just doesn't know about that, and the show is trying to confuse us" "I knew it!"

-*episode 10* "Did... did she kill the cat?" "Yeah" "...WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER?!?" "Lots of things"

-*after episode 11* "Just because Anthy HAD to agree with everything Utena said doesn't mean she would have disagreed with her. While Anthy is never truely herself, I think she could be as close to "herself" as possible when she was with Utena, even if she didn't mean to"

-*episode 12 opening sequence* "Okay, so that's Utena's real prince opening his eyes. He's connected to the weird upside down castle and Anthy somehow. The whole "crack the world's shell" thing is probably actually about waking him up, but does the student council know that?" "...maybe!" "You've seen this twice" "I'm trying not to spoil anything!"

-Spent all of episode 12 agreeing with Wakaba

-*when Juri gives Utena the sword* "oh I know her! She's the girl duelist who was in love with the girl" "Yep, and they had that whole love triangle" "Which could have been solved if she just communicated with her crush" "none of the characters communicate" "I KNOW! It's very frustrating!"

-"Just because Touga has the sword of Dios doesn't mean he has Dio's power. Dio's might just give his power to Utena anyways" *later in the duel* "called it! Also is he like... a ghost??"

-"Okay mom, this is the recap episode, but it does have important lore" *after the first flashback* "I think this might be a recap!" (teasing me)

-"So I was right about the prince needing to be reawakened, but they aren't explaing anything else. Also who's the suspicious man talking to him?"

-*in the next episode preview* "...Why does Anthy's brother have the same silhouette as the suspicious man??"

Overall, she's getting the main duelist down pretty good. She's still the most confused about Nanami and Touga. She's technically right about her "Dios" theories, but also technically wrong because AKIO. Also completely unaware of the Anthy twist, but having pretty good opinions about her so far.

Please note she does not know anyone's names besides Anthy and Utena. I paraphrased so it would be easy to tell what she's talking about. She consistantly refers to chacers as "(personality trait/design characteristic) (gender)" (ie. "Bratty sister" or "green hair boy").

We did get to episode 14, but imma put all that into a different post. Hopefully I'll remember to update my drafts every week next time so I don't forget as much!

[demethinkstoomuch]

How Would The Locked Tomb Cast Do At Survivor?

Yes, it is time for my highly-researched opinions about how my current hyperfixation’s cast would do at my favorite reality game show!

I went through big chunks of the cast and sorted them into groups by playstyle/likely outcome/role in the season.  A few characters are not easily sorted into a group, so they’re on their own. This mostly assumes the cast is isolated, though I may assume “someone like so and so” as options for tribemates; if I have a Blood vs Water thought, how they’d do with their loved one, I’ll bring it up. I will be ranking the groups on their likeliest boot orders, with a bit of wiggle-room, because after a certain point, that stops being super meaningful. I should have just done a Brant-Steele, I wouldn’t have to organize that.

Away we go under the cut!

...Survivor? That’s still on?

Let me give anyone unfamiliar with a 22-year old show a quick rundown: Game starts with everyone divided into usually 2-3 tribes of 6-10 people each. At this phase, immunity from tribal council earned in challenges is tribal, and the losing tribe goes to tribal council and they vote someone out. The tribes might swap players or change considerations, Survivor hates consistent formatting; somewhere in the 13-10-ish range, the tribes merge and immunity from the vote at tribal council becomes individual. People voted out join the Jury, who watch tribal council; at the end, the final 3 face the jury for Q&A or speeches, and the jury votes for the winner. You can get 1-use immunity from a vote by finding a hidden immunity idol. I am treating Final 4 as a point where no one meaningfully controls who goes home, because the current mechanic kind of works that way. I hate it, and am ignoring its existence.

Now, please note that Survivor is a very, very swing-y game. The things that win you the game one season might not in another, so there’s only some cases where I’m very sure how they would do, and some cases where I think there’s a range -- if you’re in theory capable of making it to the final 7 or so, and capable of doing it without screwing yourself out of victory, there might be a universe where you can win... or you could just miss your shot, who knows.

The Total Disasters (Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Silas, Judith, Mercymorn, Honesty, Crux, probably Pash, maybe Ortus  but maybe not)

Look, some people are not destined to win Survivor. That’s most people, honestly. But some people are very, very clearly destined to be voted out immediately. These are people who cannot disguise any part of themselves to get along, who cannot chill, who need to have things their way or the highway, who eschew social bonds in favor of their own machinations and standards. Survivor is a game of connection, and it’s a game of connecting to people who are nothing like you. You can see why everyone on this listing might be total, unmitigated disasters. 

Judith is the most likely person in the universe to force the entire tribe to just sit there in the shelter, we have no need for duplicity or sneaking off for private strategy talks, we will just eliminate the weakest link, It is very straightforward! No one likes that. It never goes well. 

Harrow and Honesty are both very likely to get in trouble for immediately scouting for idols -- and not being subtle enough about it. Harrow is at least reasonably likely to find one, though.  Honesty probably just applied when he heard about the time a cellophane-wrapped block of cocaine washed up on the beach during filming. It could happen again, on a different beach. Maybe production won’t take this one away. It could happen! Silas is most likely to interpret the immunity idol as a form of idolatry and be pissed about it. Both of these stories actually happened, though one never made it to the show.  (Also, no one would want to see Silas after he’s gotten dirty. It’d just be sad.)

For some reason, undefinable for me, Mercymorn feels like she’d last a round or two, she just has big “third boot” vibes. I think she can maybe be functional enough in her hate to stick around. Ortus can stay out of this group if he does not quote too much poetry, and is not too big a downer. Pash can if she does not get into too many fights.

Precious Cinnamon Role Too Good for this Game, Too Pure (Nona)

Nona lives in her own category. She probably would be a form of disaster, but a very different one.  Nona’s social skills honestly would preserve her from Harrow’s fate of immediate vote-out. That said, her inability to lie and her general softness would combine to make her a major problem as an ally: you could not tell her anything. She would be very uncomfortable about votes. I think she probably would not get very deep in before her unease at voting people out would make her too unreliable an ally to keep. I’m picturing Marquesas’ Gabriel Cade as I say this, and that was pre-merge. Cinnamon roll too good for this game, too pure.

On the other hand... I feel like there is an incredibly unlikely chance, if the stars align, that Nona could win. It would be a disaster season -- and probably very funny. This would require everyone else to be missing at least one of the following Survivor skills: Surviving to the End, Being Likeable, Removing Threats. Nona would have to be the only person whose two remaining skills are Being Likeable and Surviving to the End. If that happens, maybe everyone else would all self-destruct on each other while Nona has a fun adventure with all the blase innocence of a Cartoon Baby in a Cartoon Construction Site, and people like her more than the other members of the Final 3. This has happened before, so let’s call this Fabio upside.

Sit-Out Bench Gracers (Cytherea the First, Dulcinea Septimus)

These two have more or less identical early games, and only slight divergences in the late game. In the early game, they’re massively endangered due to, you know, being  dying. Their hopes are twofold: #1, That the rest of their tribe can pull their weight, and they can be queen of the Sit-Out Bench; #2, that their social games are enough to protect them on likeability and they can shift the targets over. If that happens -- if they make it through the early game -- then they have a good shot at a deep run. They’re both likeable and cut-throat, a good combo... But then, do you want to go up against the inspirationally dying girl? Do you? You don’t, right? You cut that. I think Cytherea has a better survival rating than Dulcie, because being underestimated is Cytherea’s biggest skill, I think.

But let’s say they make it to the end-game: then, Cytherea’s ability to be under-estimated becomes a detriment. You have to be able to sell your game. You have to be able to sell your game and be respected for it, and the person who gets in close with personal reliance and deep intimacy, and then slits your throat callously? The jury tends not to like that. That tends to piss them off. In that regard, Dulcie, who’s just more edgy and less likely to play it personal, has a better rate of winning. But these differences would play out only in the rather unlikely endgame. I’d rather see Dulcie, though; she’d give an amazing confessional. I get big Courtney Yates energy from her, a tiny skinny girl, 0 physical presence, but hell of a sass on her. (She’d probably be less mean than Courtney, but I’m just saying.)

Smart Mom and Mom-Adjacent People (Abigail Pent, Juno Zeta, Commander We Suffer, The Angel)

So, there’s some good long-term potential, very little win chance, and very, very good Early Boot chances here. This is where Mercymorn would fit if Mercymorn were capable of Chilling. Let’s get to explaining that mess of a set-up. There are two driving factors: We’re dealing primarily in this group with “older” (Survivor “old” runs from early 30s to anything else; the show skews young, on average) women or women-adjacent people who are very smart and not capable of disguising it. On average, they’re not very physically tough, which becomes a problem in the early game -- they just might not be enough in challenges early on. On the second level, being undisguisably smart and no-bullshit can become...A little bit threatening. A lot of smart older ladies smell the rats early -- and the rats freak out and take them out. Which is more or less what happened to Abigail Pent in canon, so that seems a likely fate for her in Survivor.

But lately, that type has done a lot better, which is fun and exciting, so let’s talk about the final danger: If they last to the end, people might not like it when “Mom” betrays them. They very well might undervalue her strategic chops if she stays in deep. Even if they did not come here to be “Mom,” they don’t want it, stop that. But how you are perceived in Survivor is more relevant to how the game plays out than who you are or what you do. Survivor is not a fair game, and the double wombo-combo of agism and sexism is ruthless. But man, when this type does really well, they are a delight: they can be chaotic, ruthless, canny, and just really gratifying to watch. We Suffer probably does the best on the grounds of not being a necromancer, and therefore, being physically the toughest -- she has the most Chaos Kass or Chrissy upside (both of whom were delightful, think that this trend is BULLHONKEY, and nevertheless failed to escape it.)

Slow Down, You Crazy Child (Isaac Tetteres)

Isaac is a funny one. He’s pretty OK, but I think the odds of him melting down in a paranoid and self-destructive spiral are very high. This could begin at any time, but ultimately means that when Isaac spots a big threat, or starts to feel like someone is coming for him, he will come at them so hard that it destroys anything he’s built. Which is a shame: he could build stuff. Observation is a valuable Survivor skill, and I think he’s not actively repellant, so he’d probably make some decent alliances early on. But if you act like everyone is out to get you, you’ll make people out to get to. And if you show your chops too early, you might just take out your target...And then get taken out yourself. This quality is one that makes him one of the types of players Nona needs a whole season of to win: he’d be one of that season’s better players, too. It’s just that the best that sort of disaster comedy season has is juuuust sharp enough to cut themselves.

There’s some sort of connecting thread between himself, Augustine, Naberius, and Ianthe, but their over-all outcomes become so different that it becomes hard to lump them together. But if I did, that type would be: Too Schemey. How good they are at the socializing, how likeable they can be, how concealing of their cunning, determines their fate.

The Meatshields (Gideon Nav, G1deon, Marta, Pro, Colum, Aiglamine if she’s not too old for it, Jeannemarie if she doesn’t get into too many fights, Ortus if he can get his act together.)

This is, of course, an enormous group. The basic thing prognosis is this: If you are physically strong, you will be valued in the early game, and viewed as possibly threatening as a challenge threat in the middle of the game around the top of the merge. Even though, basically, if what you’re primarily delivering on is raw strength, the challenges really stop being geared that way. Survivor individual challenges are a lot more endurance, balance, and puzzle-based. People will still target those they perceive as threatening...And most of the people in this group do not have the ability to avoid that, so they’d probably all go in the early to mid merge. This bundle are not strategically very dynamic, though some of them -- Gideon, I mean Gideon -- are at least socially engaging. But the rest of them, except Jeanne, really wish this was about surviving, and not about people. It’s not, though!

Gideon has the upside of being very likeable, but you have to be way more clued-in, and willing to use those clues, to fare really well. But she gives a FANTASTIC confessional, which makes her a delight to have. She’d get asked back, but Survivor still resents you skipping Leg Day. Her namesake, not so much -- but if Gideon Nav improbably makes it to the end, she could win. Her namesake, though...  if he’s lucky, someone picks him up as a loyal #2, and he gets voted out to weaken them or dragged to the end as a dead fish, setting his leader up for an easy win. 0% chance of winning. The rest would be loyal enough to be good allies, except Jeanne-Marie, who might be loyal, but could be a bit too much of a firecracker (though that makes her a good person to take to the end) ...But they’re all too honorable to wriggle out of trouble, and not strategic enough to take out bigger threats, so win odds are low.

The Godfathers (Commander Wake, Hot Sauce)

I think that they both operate on Having a Gang. If they have a Gang that they can be absolute ruler of -- and, given people, they will seek to become absolute ruler of -- and can dominate its comings and goings, it will become a thing of iron, and if it has the numerical superiority, they will march the Gang to the End and crush the other alliance/tribe/whatever. What if Boston Rob really, really hated necromancers? What if Boston Rob were a 14-year old girl?

Forced into a situation where her numbers are inferior or her tribemates resent the idea of being controlled, Wake has far and away the better odds compared to Hot Sauce, but she’s still more likely to go scorched earth and hopes to ride the chaos. Which...rarely works, honestly. I think Hot Sauce would have a harder time, being younger and all. They both have an incredible charisma and force of will which will hopefully get them their Gang, but Wake’s edges are harsher, while Hot Sauce is more withdrawn. Both are under considerable threat, playstyle-wise, of the whole premise of The Gang just not working with the cast around them. Like, most people don’t really like the idea that they are not allowed to have independent strategies in a strategy game. Their approach is more or less a high-risk, high-reward one. It fails at inflection points: the start of the game, the swaps, the merges, where they’re capable of being outnumbered or outgunned or overthrown. Wake probably has a better sense of who to take to the End Game than Hot Sauce, but that’s down to not being 14.

The Dads (Magnus Quinn, John Gaius)

These two technically have very different fates, but I thought their superficial approach would be alike enough. Both are reasonably physically competent mature men who are approachable, sociable, and not obvious about taking charge. They’re charming, reliable, and competent without being overwhelmingly so, which gives them good odds. But Magnus isn’t cutthroat, isn’t deceptive. This makes me think he’d go through the tribal stage, and he’d do well -- but when the time comes for his alliance to cannibalize itself, he won’t be long left, so he’s in The Zone, but loosely, 12-5 or so. Magnus is a great guy to have in your alliance, though, and a really great guy to have in your cast. He’d get an invite back and he’d do exactly the same, but we were expecting him to be delightful, not successful. He probably makes the DVD cover, so good for him!

John is deceptive, and he’s never as sentimental as he looks. His best-case scenario is that he activates his manipulation skills, plays innocent, finds someone worse to stand beside, and he is the coolest man on the ice. His worst-case scenario is that he makes a plan, over-reaches, and bungles it, perhaps melting down in a “who voted for me???!!” paranoid spiral, and does not understand why people do not want him to win. I’m not sure which I find more likely, but either could happen, and at just about any time. Winning is possible for John Gaius, unfortunately. 

The Grand Vizier Probably Eats Brunch (Augustine the First)

I think Augustine maybe could win. I think it’s not a sure bet, but sometimes, you just have to be just charming enough, just good enough at pretending you care, just clever enough, without being any of those things too much. I think Augustine is good enough at playing second fiddle who turns around and tries to murder you that it will serve him well. That’s a winning role in Survivor. I could also see him on the losing side of the post-merge dynamics -- in which case, he’d go somewhere in the 10-7 zone, but outside of that scenario, I think you can pencil Augustine in for any point between Final 8 and Victory, Inclusive. 

Too Dangerous To Live (Coronabeth Tridentarius, Palamedes Sextus, Camilla Hect)

All of these are people who I think could do very well at Survivor, except for the part where there is really no disguising how well they could do at Survivor. They will probably be valued members of their tribes and alliances, in the hub of things, making moves and doing great! Until everyone looks towards the end-game, and what do they see? This is the longest write-up, because each of them is a different picture of a great Survivor player in their field.

They see that Palamedes is crazy smart and has about 35 million scenarios for the endgame planned out. He can probably solve any puzzle put in front of him in, like, 3 seconds. He’s quite likeable most of the time, a good dude, and undeniably respectable as a strategic force in the game. He’d murder a final tribal speech.  He runs the slight risk of being the sort of high-strung nerd who goes home early, but I think he can avoid it. He’s less likely to avoid being a high-strung nerd who gets voted out late.  He’s a season’s fallen angel, the person who played brilliantly but fell short. Unless a miracle happened, but I think he’s in the Christian Hubicki slot; everyone’s gonna love this nerd, which is part of his problem. Some of the fandom will absolutely love him. They will be right, and not joyless reddit husks.  

They see that Camilla is, for all she’s a little quiet and anti-social, a formidable challenge beast. She can do everything a Survivor individual challenge is likely to expect of you: she could throw beanbags at things, she could walk on balance-beams, she could endure in weird postures, she can solve a puzzle at the end. And she’s got a very strong strategic sense and understanding of the game rules, fully capable of recognizing who the threats are and who’s working against her and so on. She can find idols like she’s pulling them out of a pocket. I think she’d be the worst of this bunch at selling her game at the end, and the worst at convincing people to not target her now, but there’s a chance it works for itself.

They’d see Coronabeth. Who is Coronabeth, and is almost, very nearly, the perfect Survivor player: endlessly charming, endlessly charming, percieved as fantastic by all who survey her. Every move gets credited to her, even the ones she had nothing to do with. But she probably has a lot to do with a lot of them, because she is also rather cunning in the way a social-strategy game like Survivor is concerned with. And she is physically capable enough to win some immunities. Coronabeth could win Survivor by just standing there.

And the entire rest of the cast would go, “Huh, that’s a problem for me, because I would like to win Survivor.  That is what Survivor is about, winning Survivor. And they could definitely stop literally all of us from winning Survivor.” And then the threat singularity would begin, and everyone’s mission would be to Get Out The Biggest Threat. Now, any of these people could go a few rounds on immunities or idols or stupid tribemates -- Corona gets the most out of stupid tribemates and the least out of idols because she’s less good at those -- but it’d be risky. They’d be sprinting through fire, scrambling from tribal council to tribal council like they’re walking on a tight-rope. Which makes a great show for the jury, which makes them more likely to win, which makes them more threatening, lather, rinse, repeat. The luck is, more likely than not, going to run out at some point. It will most likely run out somewhere between the final 7 and the Final 4, with 5 as a very likely point: last call before it’s too late to stop them, oh god, somebody, please stop them!

Funnily enough, I think a Blood Vs Water with Palamedes and Camilla dampens both of their chances, because they can’t protect them both. A Blood vs Water with a Redemption Island twist, where someone who can do well at challenges can come back, though... Then he and Camilla would absolutely wreck shop if she gets voted out early, hiding his threat level a bit, and then she wins her way back at the final hour, and then they are an Unstoppable Survivor Machine. Let’s call this the Paul Scenario.

Almost Perfect, Except For the Glaring Part Where She’s Ianthe (Ianthe Tridentarius)

Ianthe is almost a great Survivor player, if only she weren’t...Ianthe about it. She seems to be aware enough that you have to charm people to at least make an attempt. And she’s clever and cutthroat. But...Would it be enough to overcome... Ianthe? And, if so, then what? Could someone willingly vote for Ianthe to win a million dollars? Could someone Ianthe has backstabbed turn around and applaud her? I think Ianthe would gloat too much, honestly, and that would end up making people turn away from respecting her game. She is her own worst enemy. I think she makes it pretty far, though -- and either gets taken out for being too schemey, or she stays and is a 0 vote finalist... But maybe, just maybe, she’d have a shot.

Here is what her shot looks like: She needs a Coronabeth. She needs someone who is attention-drawing that she can pair up with and hide her threat level behind. Unlike actually playing with Coronabeth, though, she’d need to get that person to about the 5-6 remaining point and then take her out... after lining up a collection of saps who absolutely could not get more than a few anti-Ianthe votes, and those guys take her to the final 3. Like, say, Babs. Everyone hates voting for Ianthe, but they just can’t vote for those other guys, because in some way, they are worse. That’s what an Ianthe win looks like. Missing any of those elements means that Ianthe probably falls just short of a win.

Mr 0 Votes (Naberius Tern)

Oh, hey. It’s the guy Ianthe needs to take to the end. He is his own special sort of disaster: he’s the perfect goat, his own worst enemy. No one’s going to vote for Naberius to win. In general, he strikes me as the exact sort of player that could lead to a Nona win if there were enough of him in a season: he’s smart enough to know how to strategize, but not so smart and not so charming that he wouldn’t overplay, and not nearly subtle enough. He thinks he’s a strategic mastermind, he probably has a confessional or three about how he’s the one controlling this game. He isn’t. He could really go at any point in the game, honestly. If he goes early, it’s because he’s a slimy, whiny twerp who overplayed his hand and overestimated himself; if he goes at top of the merge, it’s because he’s a big physical threat. After that, though... He probably doesn’t go home in the 8-4 zone, not if anyone can help it. He’s the perfect losing finalist,  you want to take him to the end no matter who you are. Unless he’s not your sacrificial goat, or unless there’s no better targets vulnerable. Then he goes. No one’s sad about it.

THE WINNER, GENTLEFOLK! (Pyrrha Dve) 

Bow down before your new Survivor God. Pyrrha is really, really, really good at Survivor. She is probably the single best Survivor player of the cast, prove me wrong. A huge part of that is that she’s capable of lying low, in addition to being charming, a great liar, cut-throat, cunning, and physically capable. I think she is capable of taking a season of Survivor and ruling it in a way which is so low-key and so complete that she makes a really boring Survivor season, because she’d crush all the life out of it. They might want to take her out every week, but they can’t -- but next week! But no, not this week, either. And so on. Pyrrha’s said all these things, but really, she’s in with them, right? They need her. They can’t get rid of her now. And the chance slips away... Things could break badly for her, but she would need some bad luck to not charm her way, subtle and powerful, to the win.

[eurovision-revisited]

Dublin 1997

Here we are again, back in the cosy Point Theatre, Dublin for Eurovision, and hang on, everything's gone a bit industrial. There're monitors hanging everywhere. It may be the third time in four years we've been here but it feels a bit more urban. A little more like the railway depot on the quayside that it was originally.

All the CRTs dangling from the set aren't the only thing that's changed. There's televoting for a start! After the several trials (and errors) in the national finals, five countries are ready to take the big plunge so the results for Austria, Switzerland, Germany, Sweden and the UK were from 100% televotes - untainted by any jury interference. Pure undiluted public opinion. It's all bit a scary, isn't it.

Also there's a new relegation system that requires a spreadsheet to work out. All potential entrants have their points averaged over the previous four Eurovisions to find the best countries in that period. The hosts get in automatically as well as any new countries, but in this case the top 25 got in. And then Bosnia in 26th did too because Israel withdrew when it became apparent the final was being held on Holocaust Memorial Day.

Slovakia, Romania, Finland, Belgium, North Macedonia (who've only entered once) too bad, must try harder! It doesn't matter if you have the most interesting and fun national finals, come back in 1998.

After Gina G's PCs on stage last year, finally countries can use a full instrumental backing track with no instruments on stage. There's still a full orchestra, but there's no requirement for them to be used by the acts. Modernity is here! And even though Eurovision has always been gay, it's now actually out. There's an openly gay man competing this year for the first time and for some reason he's last in the running order - I wonder why that is - oh my!

It's a good reminder of how conservative Europe can be that it took until 1997 for anyone to be out and on stage in Eurovision.

After Morten Harket's hosting success last year, Ireland are having to bring in some of their own big guns and well, and if it isn't Ronan Keating of Boyzone hosting with Carrie Crowley off the radio. We might see the rest of the band later too.

How are this year's changes going to work after last year's mixed bag?

[refinedbuffoonery]

Looking Through A Window (19)

macriley married undercover au

masterlist.

Last night, Mac dreamt he was lost wandering a dark world with an endless array of identical puddles, and this morning that is a near-reality. Yesterday’s downpour hasn’t quite soaked in yet, turning every patch of dirt and grass into thick, squelching mud that sucks at Mac’s boots as he takes Harley outside for their morning bathroom ritual. 

Not the ideal environment for setting off a bomb, but he’s done it in worse conditions.

His stomach still churns with anticipation, and despite spending most of the night in his new favorite place—under Riley—Mac feels like shit.

He shouldn’t feel like this anymore. He’s literally done this hundreds of times.

Yet.

The morning air is cool on his face, clouds stubbornly blocking the warmth of the Texas sun. When it’s out, the sun seems to consume the whole sky here, bright and hot and bound to make a person sweat no matter the season. They say everything’s bigger in Texas, and that doesn’t just apply to the sun, or big hair and Big Oil. It also applies to the fact that the Texas state capitol building is the largest in the country, and that Mac’s anxiety over tearing it down feels just as tall and loud and overwhelming.

It’s easy to destroy something when it belongs to someone Other. It’s meaningless to him, thus he sees no loss in its destruction. But regardless of his opinions on some of the people working inside the Texas capitol, it’s still an important piece of his government, and blowing it up means attacking his own.

It’s domestic terrorism; that’s what he’ll be charged with if caught.

He sinks into a low crouch, careful not to let his knees hit the muddy grass as he sits back on his heels. Harley shoves her way between his legs to lick his face.

“Your mom and I are going to do something really stupid tonight,” Mac whispers. It feels good to tell her, even though she can’t understand him. “Matty assured us that no one will get hurt, but that’s not something she can actually guarantee. Sure the building might be evacuated, but what’s to stop some random passerby from walking down the sidewalk at exactly the wrong moment?”

Harley licks his face again. Mac chooses to find the gesture reassuring rather than gross.

“We have to leave you behind for this one. We’ll be gone all night, so I need you to be on your best behavior.”

Harley leaves his side to pee on the post holding up the mailboxes.

There’s nothing reassuring about that.

*****

It takes two and a half hours to drive from Houston to Austin. They arrive a little before two a.m.

Despite Matty’s insistence that the Phoenix would shoulder the responsibility of blocking all of the security footage, Riley double-checks it all herself. The last thing either of them want is to be documented planting a bomb on government property.

They rarely talk about it, but Mac’s not too ignorant to gloss over how much worse it would be for Riley than him were they to get caught. In court, all it would take is the prosecutor bringing up his EOD training for the jury to know he masterminded this, but all it would take is one racist judge seeing a Black convicted felon for Riley’s sentence to be worse.

Mac would do anything to prevent her from enduring prison again.

“Hey,” he says, “I know what you’re risking by doing this.” He tries to convey the specifics with his eyes; ambushing Riley with words about prison—her time in prison—will rattle her, and he doesn’t want to do that.

She somehow catches his meaning, like always, and replies with a look of her own. “We both risk too much. I don’t know if that makes us brave, stupid, or both.”

Depends on the day, Mac supposes.

Before exiting the car, Riley connects their comms to one of Phoenix’s secure channels. They haven’t used them for this whole op, but the task at hand is dangerous enough that everyone feels more comfortable with Mac and Riley having a direct line into the War Room.

They’re both dressed head-to-toe in black, masked and gloved. Mac has committed many crimes over the years, but he’s never felt like a criminal more than he does now. Everything about this feels wrong. Pretending to be a terrorist. Blowing up a building where hundreds of people go to work every day. What’s going to happen to all those people when this is over? What will happen to their jobs? Elected officials and other powerful people will keep theirs, of course, but what about the janitors and assistants and maintenance? Somewhere there’s a woman making barely more than minimum wage who whispers sweet nothings to a stubborn dinosaur of a copy machine in order to keep it working. What happens to her when all that’s left of that copier is a heap of melted plastic?

Mac imagines crumpling that thought up like a piece of paper—did it come from that copier?—and throwing it out of his mind. He can’t afford any distractions.

Because of transport issues, Mac couldn’t fully assemble the bombs in advance. He built separate components that will need to be linked together before being attached to an explosive substance. To Riley’s horror, he brought several types to choose from. 

The plan is to rig the inside first, then the grounds. Theoretically that’s to give them time to run in case something goes wrong, but realistically a system like this isn’t designed for someone to be able to outrun the blast.

He tries not to think about that part.

Using the building schematics Riley brought, they plant the first bomb inside, where it will do the most structural damage. Mac insists on carrying the explosives himself, giving Riley the wiring. Surprisingly, she doesn’t argue.

They work in the darkness, only turning their headlamps on when necessary. He murmurs quiet directions that Riley follows without question or hesitation. Mac arms the first bomb, setting the timer for four hours from now.

He remembers their conversation yesterday about Riley’s recent insecurity in the field and quietly says, “Thank you for your help.”

She holds his hand as they return to the car for the second bomb.

They’re halfway there when Riley suddenly shoves him into a bush. Before Mac can even get his bearings, she’s on top of him, tucking his legs in so they’re both fully hidden. From what, he doesn’t know. 

“Cop,” she whispers.

Mac checks his watch. It’s two-thirty a.m. Why the hell is there a cop patrolling so late?

Through the small gaps in the leaves and branches, Mac can just make out the headlights of a police car. It’s moving much too slowly to be casually driving by, which can only mean one thing. The cop is looking at something.

They parked the SUV in the least obvious spot they could, but it’s still visible from the road. They’re counting on the lack of middle-of-the-night passersby, and for those who do see it to assume it belongs to building security.

He’s about to ask Riley what she wants to do about it, but she’s already hissing into their comms. “Matty, I need you to spoof a dispatch call to this cop right now.”

On the other end, Matty snaps at whichever poor analyst is sitting behind her in the war room. Mac imagines his boss like a shark in a fish pond, weaving between rows of desks until she finds her prey. And by prey he means someone to play Riley’s stand-in.

Based on the whispers he’s heard over the years, it’s simultaneously the most coveted job among the analysts and the most terrifying.

Riley’s body is painfully tense above him as they wait. Possibilities run through Mac’s head—all the ways this could go wrong. The dispatch call doesn’t come (unlikely). The dispatch call does come but the cop ignores it in favor of checking out their SUV (more likely). Either way, as soon as the cop finds the bomb parts Mac didn’t bother to hide, the whole place will be swarming with law enforcement.

Like goddamn piranhas, Jack once called them after losing custody of a crime scene because he couldn’t explain who he worked for (and couldn’t call Matty because his phone was in pieces, a part Mac conveniently leaves out when he tells this story).

Entirely too much time passes before the cop leaves, called somewhere far away. Riley could’ve gotten rid of them in half the time. They thank Matty and the analyst anyway.

Mac can’t shake the added layer of urgency as they set the rest of the inside bombs.

There are four remaining bombs to place around the grounds. Honestly, they’re unnecessary. The three inside will blast a massive hole in the building on their own. The outside ones are simply there to ensure it gets leveled.

Maybe Mac wants to show off a little. Not that he’d ever admit it.

They need to hurry, and after Riley’s assurance that she can set one up on her own, they agree to split up. Two each, covering all four corners of the building.

“I’ll be right baaaaack,” Riley taunts, knowing full well how Mac feels about the stupid things people say in horror movies.

“Don’t say that,” Mac warns, but she’s already gone.

Alone in the dark, Mac finds himself looking over his shoulder much more frequently now. An unexpected breeze tickles the back of his neck, and he realizes just how much he’s been taking Riley watching his back for granted.

So maybe he’s a little codependent. Just a little.

He sets the next bomb in a shadowed first-floor windowsill, turning it to conceal the light from the timer. The last thing they need is for the tell-tale blinking red light to be picked up by the security cameras once they’re turned back to live footage instead of a loop. This is by far the most exposed bomb of the set, but then again it’ll only be there for a few hours.

Texas air is balmy, even at night, and in no time Mac is breaking a sweat. His all black, full-coverage outfit certainly isn’t doing him any favors. He feels it dripping down his back and chest, the fabric of his long sleeve shirt sticking to his skin. But what’s worse is the sweat accumulating beneath his ski mask and making it uncomfortably damp. 

There’s no one here. It’ll be fine.

Mac takes off his mask and tucks it into the back of his pants. 

Because nothing can ever be easy, midway through setting his second bomb, Mac hears the beep of a radio. Seconds later, the beam of a flashlight sweeps just feet away from him. 

Heart racing, he has just enough time to finish and duck into the bushes before the light lands exactly where he'd been standing.

It's the cop from before.

The spoofed call clearly didn't hold up, and now he's scouring the property with the kind of precision that makes Mac think he's ex-military, especially compounded with the fact that if not for the radio beep, Mac wouldn’t have noticed him until it was too late.

Shit. 

At least all of the bomb materials are out of the car. Now it's just a matter of not getting caught.

They cannot get caught. Mac won’t allow it.

He doesn't dare say anything into his comms. Not until the light moves on. 

The irony writes itself. By warning Riley, he'd get himself caught. 

So he waits. 

And waits.

It feels like an eternity passes before the cop turns away, mercifully heading away from both Mac's current position and where Riley should be.

Confident he won't be overheard, Mac hisses her name into their comms.

No response.

The cop's radio beeps again, but this time it's accompanied by a crackled voice. “East side’s clear. You got anything?”

Fuck. He has a partner.

“Not yet,” the cop replies. “The SUV was clean.”

“Moving to the north side.”

That’s where Riley is. Worry floods Mac's body, drowning out the rest of the cops’ radio chatter and making it difficult to sit still. He hisses at her again, warning her of the incoming company.

When she doesn't answer right away, Matty barks at her too.

Still nothing.

It takes everything in him not to assume the worst has already occurred.

“Damnit, Riley,” he mutters. Splitting up was a bad idea. It always is.

He has to find her.

Slowly, Mac circles the building, hopefully still going in the opposite direction of the cops. He has to reach Riley first. He keeps close to the wall, ducking below and between bushes to stay out of sight. At least when they cut the security cameras, they turned off most of the exterior lights too.

He takes a deep breath, then another, trying to slow his heart rate and make a plan like this is no different than any other op. 

Except this one is different. There’s more to lose than before. If they get caught—provided they aren’t killed on sight—he won’t just lose the life he has. He’ll lose the life he could have if only they make it home in one piece.

He loves her, and right now that thought is absolutely terrifying.

Mac makes it to the north side of the building. The other cop is already there, but mercifully he’s facing the opposite direction. There’s a shadowed alcove up ahead, dark enough that he can’t clearly see in, and he’s willing to bet that’s where Riley is. He warns her, “Coming to you, Riles.”

He finds her pressed flush against the wall, head angled so she can monitor the cop while keeping most of her body hidden. At least she’s empty-handed; she already set both bombs. 

Also keeping an eye on the cop, Mac whispers, “Let’s get out of here.” But Riley shakes her head. She points to something a few feet away—the bomb—and it’s so well hidden that it takes Mac a couple moments to find it in the dark. Shit, maybe he is getting old. Maybe he needs glasses. Maybe—

Wait.

There’s no blinking red light.

The relief Mac felt at finding her vanishes just as quickly as it set in. There is no blinking light. Riley didn’t set the timer. One of them needs to crawl back out there and finish it.

That cop is getting closer, and it’s only a matter of time before the other one joins him.

If the way Riley clings to the wall is any indication, she already thought this situation through. . . and didn’t like the answer. They’ll be seen the second they step out of the alcove. The bushes here are sparse, leaving little room to hide.

Riley must be even stupider than he is, because she wants to go for it anyway. “I can get it,” she says. “Watch my back.” Mac grabs her arms to hold her in place.

He expects this level of recklessness from himself. He expects it from Desi. Hell, he even expected it from Jack. But Riley? She’s supposed to be the responsible one.

He shakes his head. “No. I can do it faster.”

“I’m smaller,” she argues. “And no offense, but your pale face will light up like the moon if one of those flashlights lands on you.” Paranoia kicking in, Mac checks to ensure the mask is still securely tucked into his pants. It is. He pulls it back over his face.

Before he can stop her a second time, Riley is on her hands and knees crawling toward the bomb.

She’s insane. He fucking loves her.

There’s nothing to do but hold his breath as he watches her.

She’s there, in plain damn view for every law enforcement officer in the world to see, deft fingers twisting wires and fidgeting with the timer until red light shines beneath her hands. She sets the timer face down so the light won't show.

Relief washes over Mac once she’s back in the alcove, pressed back into the shadows.

“Now let’s get out of here,” she hisses.

They slip back to the car, driving off the property with the lights off, not daring to turn them on until they're on the street and turning a corner.

Neither speak on the drive home, aside from Mac confirming to Matty, “It’s set.”

On the open highway between cities, the eastern sky is a hazy lavender, the precursor to the soft golden light that will spill from the sun as it crests the horizon.

Today that golden light will be blocked by ash and smoke, turning the Austin sky a muddy orange.

The bombs will go off at dawn.

.

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[lifezvictory]

My Opinion Of Ruin DLC

So Ruin is finally out, and I’ve watched a couple let’s plays of it, and here is my opinion. (Note: there are spoilers in my thoughts below, so don’t click read more until you’ve watched/played the game.)

This is kind of a rare, and possibly even controversial take, but I didn’t really like Ruin overall as much as I did the main game of Security Breach. A lot of people are saying they like it more because it’s scarier, and I get that, but for me I just feel like the tone is way too different to the main game and it’s giving me emotional whiplash. It just feels like there’s just not as much story/dialogue than there was in the main game, and it was kind of short. I understand it was a DLC and all that, and I have no idea how long making a game actually takes. Plus, I can totally tell that the devs put a lot of effort into it. But, it just feels like I waited two years only for something that only lasts about two hours, most if not all the endings are kind of bummer/lackluster, and the community has already torn apart in a matter of hours, finding everything there is to find.

Not everything about it was negative, though. I’ve gotta say, I like Cassie a lot more than I do Gregory. Gregory always came across as a bit of a selfish jerk, though given his implied circumstances I can’t entirely blame him for that. But it doesn’t change the fact that Cassie is just a more likable character in my opinion, who is much easier to route for as a protagonist. She has a similar sass/sarcasm thing going on to Gregory, but she balances it out with clear signs of sympathy towards the people [and animatronics] around her. It’s to the point where I kinda wish the kids roles were swapped: Cassie being the protagonist of Security Breach while Gregory’s the protagonist of Ruin. That could make a cool fanfic. I’d definitely be a lot more okay with Gregory being killed by the Mimic than Cassie (if that even was the real Gregory talking to her in the end, jury’s still out on that one.)

I also like how Eclipse made an appearance, although like most things about Ruin it was far too short. I like how he was actually a nice guy. But I wish Kellen Goff put a bit more difference between Eclipse and Sun’s voice, like tried to make him sound more like a combination of Sun and Moon. Because in the game, Eclipse just sounds like Sun if he spoke calmly, where as the difference between Sun and moon’s voices are, well, like night and day. 😆

[If you don’t watch Sun and Moon Show feel free to skip this paragraph:] I like what SaMS did with Eclipse’s voice. There, he sounds like a totally different character and you can clearly tell whether it’s him or Sun talking without looking (I know this because I’m blind and watch SaMS without looking.)

Overall I didn’t hate the Ruin DLC, but I didn’t love it either. I think I’d give it a solid 4.5/10. Loved the characters, but the execution could use some work IMO.

[otometrashqueen]

So in keeping with my Doctor Strange, Batch obsession, I decided to start watching Sherlock

Aaaaaaaannnd, I have many thoughts, I just finished season 2, sorry this will be a long one, be warned there are probably some unpopular opinions below 👇

I really WANT to like this show, it’s super popular, and maybe Batch in all his British voice glory really makes the whole thing, but I find that what I dislike about the show outweighs what I like thus far…

I just can’t get over the fact that thus far in the show there isn’t a single likable female character, except for Mrs. Hudson and even she is characterized as the ‘crazy little old land lady’ ( but I do love her to pieces don’t get me wrong)

It seems the show goes out of its way to make the females the villains or weak, Sherlock has an antagonistic relationship with every single female that he comes across

Molly for example, she deserves so much better, Sherlock constantly steam rolls her and berates her, he apologizes sometimes, but it doesn’t ever really feel genuine bc he continues to do it, her uses her for her access to the morgue and the lab! She had to make him say thank you for it but that wasn’t genuine either, he like didn’t understand

Molly really should have slapped him that one time he embarrassed her at Christmas and then Kissed her cheek! The nerve of the man, like that made everything ok

Molly and Sherlock had a little moment at the season two finale that I thought was promising but she essentially said ‘ I know you don’t love me and you love John but I would still do anything for you,’ gag, but I also understand that sentiment, having experienced unrequited love a few times myself and then he ended up asking for her help! which still seemed like manipulation more than genuine interest in her friendship :/

Also it broke my heart that after that whole exchange with Molly and asking for her help, she wasn’t listed as one of his friends to Moriarty, only John, Lestrade, and Mrs. Hudson :/

Irene Adler, who I loved the idea of , still ended up having to get saved by Sherlock, she sold him out to Moriarty, and then he ignored her texts bc he likes her or something?! I didn’t get that

You can also talk about the female Sargent Donovan, has had it out for Sherlock day 1 and she was the one to suggest that Sherlock was a fraud to Lestrade

In the season 2 finale they focus on the female jury member when Jim explains how he threatened all the jurors

Then when they were tracking the kidnapped kids it was the BOY that loved spy novels and painted his shoes in black light paint, the BoY was the clever one, not the girl

The girl screamed at Sherlock making Donovan think Sherlock had something to do with it when that was probably Moriartys set up 🙄

That female reporter from that crooked newspaper in the finale also antagonized Sherlock and stupidly bought Moriartys story 🙄

Sherlock even berates all of John’s girlfriends and dates whether out of jealousy or just shit writing it was kind of funny at first and by now to me is a tired cycle, yes we get you want his d and your jealous as shit

I’m sure there are probably more examples, but its TIRING to me, all the negativity toward women and it makes me not want to continue watching

And it’s disappointing bc I saw Moffat was a cocreator and I really liked some of the women that he created in Doctor Who, it’s just really surprises me that THIS is what he helped make?!

I know it was back in 2010 and I’m not mad about the gay subtext, I love it! I’m a bisexual person, bring on all the gay drama. Actually I find it frustrating that Sherlock and John just don’t accept their feelings and get it on already! You can do a slow burn gay love story and not women hate or shit on women in the process :/

Honestly if they had kept Sherlock asexual I think that would have made it more interesting and hilarious, but he is obviously in love with John and even has his flirtation with Moriarty all good stuff but again I flinch when a new female comes on screen bc it’s like ‘ what bad thing is she going to do now’ 🙄 what nasty thing is Sherlock going to say to her or ‘deduce’ about her, it makes me cringe

I’ve heard season 3 and 4 aren’t much better and I’d really like to finish the series and I probably will but I’ll probably be ranting about it on here again 😆

Honestly, it other people’s fanfics on here that are saving this show for me, so thank you fan creators 🥺🙏🏻

I’m really only in it for HIM 👀