#my kids are doing their best given how dumb i made all of them

[franeridart]

The Housecat Philosophy - Ep 36

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[darnell-la]

can we get some nsfw of logan heavily infantilizing reader? i know he's a mean mean man and i want him to make us cry 🥺 just wanna be doted on but also fucked like a beast

note: Logan is a very nasty individual in this story. He’s degrading, calls the reader out of her name many times, fucks rough, is manipulative, possessive, and more…

having Logan Howlett claim you are one of the best-given things that could happen.

———

How do you guys feel about a x men story with reader? Logan being rude Logan at first, then slowly shows small affection towards the reader. Jealousy and things of that sort. They soon hit it off, and after Logan starts acting rude again, because he’s scared of the love he grew for her. It’ll be a long story, but something to read at night. ALL ON WATTPAD! Comment below, please!

———

“You’re so fuckin’ childish, y/n, do you know that!? So fuckin’ childish!” Logan shouted at the girl as he placed her into his passenger seat. The man slammed the door in her face before walking around to the car.

Y/m scoffed as she crossed her arms, knowing she was wrong for what she’d done tonight, but at least she had fun.

Logan treats y/n like she has no idea what the world is like. Wade speaks to him, telling him he should take it easy because is his friend. Not Logan’s.

“Well, if I’m gonna stay in an apartment with two kids, I expect them to have manners and respect. If not, then I’m out of here,” Logan threatened a few months ago when he first got here.

Y/n had come home drunk out of her mind at three in the morning after Logan and Wade had been worried all night.

Her phone had died. She explained that to them, and Wade understood, but when she came through that door smiling, laughing, and giggling with the friend who dropped her off, it triggered Logan.

“I know pay the bills, and the apartment is his, but I’ll kick you the fuck out, kid,” Logan threatened as he got into the car and started it up, ready to get home and rest without stressing about y/n.

“I’m a grown woman, Logan. If I wanna go out and get drunk with my friends, I can!” Y/n turned towards the man just to yell before turning back towards the door, looking out of the window.

“What kinda fun is that, y/n? You’re a college student, you’ve got classes in the afternoon, you need to study, but instead, you’re out almost every weekend, pissy drunk and begging for a man to touch you,”

“What!? I don’t even go out with men! I reject them all,” y/n said, confused about why he even cared about her getting with anyone.

“Sure you don’t. Every time I pick you up or you walk through that door, you’re dressed sluttier. Every fucking time!” Logan yelled, hands groping the wheel as he drove through the city to head home.

“At this point, you’re just stressing yourself out. Let me live my life like I let you, okay? Fuck!” Y/n complained.

“So slutting around is living life now? God, you kids are fucking dumb,” Logan shook his head. “I don’t slut around!” Y/n basically screamed at the man.

“Lower your fucking tone when you talk to me, young lady!” Logan looked her way. The anger in his voice made her back up, trying to keep a straight face, but it was hard.

“Always fuckin’ yellin'. Can you ever shut the fuck up for once? Just do better in life and shut the fuck up — Grow up! Because you’re a-fucking-nnoying,” the man got out.

Y/n looked out of the window in silence, holding back her tears as the man continued.

“Be a fuckin’ lady, and respect yourself for once. For once!” He hit the wheel, making the girl jump. “Respect me!” The man hit the wheel again, but harder.

Y/n wiped a tear from her cheek quickly so he wouldn’t notice, but he did. Once he did, the man laughed to himself. “Unbelievable,” the man shook his head, disappointed in her.

“You can yell at me, but when I start yellin’ and tellin’ you what you look like, you start carrying. Fucking pathetic. Seriously!”

Logan didn’t mean to hurt the girl's feelings. He was just angry. He hated seeing her out and doing things he didn’t want her to do. Why can’t she just listen to him? Why does she need other people to make her happy when she has Wade and him at home.

The rest of the car ride was silent. Y/n wouldn’t sniff here and there, but low so she wouldn’t start Logan up again. She was embarrassed and disappointed in herself.

Right as Logan parked the car, y/n pulled on the handle to get out, but he had locked the door before she could.

“Looks y/n-“ Logan went to say, but y/n cut him off. “Let me out,” y/n said with a stern voice. “Y/n, just hear me out-“ he tried to say again. “Let me out!” She yelled, not even looking at the man.

“Hey!” Logan reached for her arm and grabbed it tightly. Y/n tried yanking herself away, but he was stronger. “Let me go!” Y/n yelled, only angering the man further. He had become obvious to the strength he had.

“Ow, Logan!” Y/n shouted at the man, but all he did was grip harder. “Stay still, y/n!” Logan demanded. “You're hurting me!” She finally said as tears streamed from her eyes.

The way she looked at the man in pain, not just from his grip, but more so from his words. Looking into his eyes, he realized he had gone too far.

“Y/n,” Logan said low as she fought the man, slapping his hand, but he wouldn’t let go. He only loosened his grip. “Let me go!” She could barely yell, only cry.

Logan shifted his body and lifted his other hand to cup her cheek. When he did, she tried shaking her head to get him off, but it wouldn’t leave.

“Please!” She cried, but Logan didn’t let her leave. All he did was let her arm go, only to push her seat back and hover over her quickly, the other hand still on her cheek.

“Baby, don’t cry,” Logan said, but she couldn’t stop. She sobbed as she weakly slapped Logan’s body, telling him to leave her alone, but that was the last thing he was going to do.

“Baby, look at him — It’s okay, just look at me,” Logan said as he placed the other hand on her other cheek, forcing her to look at him.

“I’m sorry, y/n, okay? I’m sorry,” Logan spoke. That was when y/n cried harder with no words. “Aw, baby,” Logan said, trying to wipe her tears away, but they kept rolling.

“All I wanted was for you to be safe, baby. That it. It’s dangerous out here. You can’t just be goin’ out every night, looking the way you do. You just can’t,” Logan said.

“If you wanna drink, we got it at the house. You know that. No more goin’ out, and you won’t look like this anymore,” he said, hoping to manipulate her into staying in the house, and in his sight.

“Hey, hey, calm down,” Logan said and kept repeating until she ducked in her cries. It took her a while, but she managed.

“Please understand that I want you safe, y/n. Do you understand that?” Logan asked. Y/n slowly nodded her head with a sniff, making him smile slightly.

“That’s it, baby. All I want is for my baby to be safe — No more goin’ out after tonight. Maybe with me, but I have to be by your side. It’s too dangerous,” he said.

“B-But my friends,” y/n sniffed. “They’ll be fine, baby. They love you and will understand. You want me to trust you and not be stressed out, right? You want me to be? I’m gettin’ old, and ion needa be stressin’ about my girl,” Logan said.

Y/n nodded her head, halfway understanding what he wanted, but not fully. She didn’t ask though. She just knew by the way he always acted that he wanted her in sight and safe with no funny business.

“Good, baby, good,” Logan said, looking into the girl's eyes as she looked back up at him, eyes bloody and eyelashes batting.

“You’re too pretty to be seen without me, baby, and you know that, don’t you? Don’t you, baby?” Logan asked, making her nod again.

“That's right, and you're sorry for disobeying me, right?” He asked. The way he spoke to her, made her feel like she’s actually done something wrong.

“S-Sorry,” she said low. A groan slipped past the man’s lips at her words and voice. She was too sweet to believe she was real.

“Ah huh, and are you gonna show me just how sorry you are?” He asked. Y/n surprisingly nodded quickly, wanting him to know that she meant nothing personal by the way she lived.

“Good girl — Now turn around for me,” Logan said. Her mind wasn’t honking straight, but she did as told, apologizing for her body rubbing on his as she did so. “It’s okay, baby - You’re all good,”

“I’m just a little angry, and you understand that, right? It’s acceptable to why I am, right, baby?” He asked her, making her him with a nod.

“Ah huh, and you’re gonna help me relax, right, baby?” He asked and she repeated what she had done before, but more shaky. “That right,”

Logan began unbuckling his belt, watching the girl underneath him shiver from how drunk she was, the cold air coming through the cracked window, her crying session, and the confusion of this situation.

“Never listenin’ to me, baby. I don’t like that,” Logan said before giving y/n a hard slap on her ass that was covered in her tight thin dress. A whine had slipped from her mouth, only making the man groan.

“Yeah, and I’m gonna bring all this anger right out on and into you, baby,” Logan said as he pulled himself out. “And guess what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna lay here, and take it like the disrespectful little slut you are,”

Y/n whined at his words, feeling shitty for not being respectful towards the older man, but she’ll soon understand to listen.

“Every time I pick you up or watch you walk through those doors, you’re fuckin’ soaked. I just know you’re out and about, waiting for some random man to offer his cock,”

“I know you’re whore enough to take it too, now ain’t you?” Logan asked. “N-No,” y/n shook her head with a whine as he pulled her dress up, revealing her dark wet patch.

“Sure you’re not, baby. You know the drunk sluts always say that, right? Until they’re caught being stuffed and fucked in some bar bathroom,”

Y/n whined again at his comment about what he thought of her as his fingers hooked around her pants. The man pulled his fingers back, causing the panties to rip perfectly.

“You wanna be treated like some dirty slut at the bar?” Logan asked as he put his cock in his hand. “No,” y/n truly spoke, but he didn’t believe her.

The man grabbed a handful of her hair and then pushed her head into the seat. “Are you sure, baby? Because you’re gonna spreading in my passenger seat just like them club whores,”

Before y/n could say anything, the man laughed into her, forcing his huge length through her walls, knowing she would barely be able to take him.

“Logan!” Y/n cried out loud, voice crazy as she gripped and clawed at the seats. “Nah uh, you shut the fuck up!” Logan spat through his teeth as he leaned over and into the girl's ear.

“Pussy’s so fuckin’ wet, I know you want this. You always do. Comin’ back from the fuckin’ bar all soaked and full of attitude. I just know you rub that shit in my face,”

“I fuckin’ know you come through those doors wanting me to fuck your drunk ass through my mattress,” the man snapped his hips hard.

“Oh yeah? Can't take it?” Logan asked as the young girl cried in pain and pleasure. “S-Sorry, sorry,” she quickly whined as she back arched.

“No, you’re fucking not. You’re only sayin’ it now because I’m fucking this cunt dumb,” Logan growled in the girl's ear as he tugged on her hair.

“Slutty fuckin’ cunt - Grippin’ me like she ain’t been fucked in the club already,” Logan said, making the girl shake her head.

“N-No,” she managed to say. “Oh yeah? You’re tellin’ me no man has been in this cunt at the club? Fuckin’ you silly in the bathroom as you pass out from the liquor?” Logan asked.

He had already known the answer, but he was angry. He wanted to get everything out. If he could smell how wet she was every weekend, he could smell a man on her, and thankfully for her, he never has.

“N-No,” y/n whined as she came around him without warning. He hadn’t cared that she soaked his leather seats. All he cared about was how could he could fuck he’d. Maybe if he fucked he’d be good enough, she wouldn’t dare leave the apartment again.

“That’s what I fuckin’ thought. You don’t let another man touch you. Never!” He pounded, knowing the wind out of her with every thrust.

“I swear, if you do, baby, ima kill him. Ima fuckin’ kill him then lock your ass in my room,” Logan threatened, only making y/n moan.

“My fuckin’ cunt — Mine! All fuckin’ mine and you know it. You’ve been known it, Bub, and because you wanted to play games, I’m gonna teach you what the fuck happens when you do,”

Logan took the seatbelt to the car and tied it around her wrist after pulling them man. The man soon continued his anger by slamming into her until she cried, begging him to stop.

He was rough, but y/n knew deep down that she deserved it. She was disrespectful and didn’t listen to him. He should get what he wants.

“You're mine, right, baby? All mine to use like those I want at the bar and club?” Logan asked as y/n could barely keep herself conscious. “Y-Yes,” was all she could get out.

“That’s my girl,”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Don't Speak 49

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, stalking, manipulation, reclusive behaviour, disordered eating, dissociation, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader is a reclusive loner who ventures down to the library on a simple mission. Her task is complicated by the man she meets there. (f!short!reader)

Character: librarian!Andy Barber, Steve Kemp

Note: mondays are for pain.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me 

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

“What’s wrong with her?” Ann’s sharp tone is dulled behind the dim blur all around you. 

“She... she’ll be fine. She’s... adjusting,” Steve explains hesitantly. 

A heavy sigh makes your shiver, an echo of another monster. You sink further down into the bed, eyes shut, body locked up. You couldn’t move if you tried. 

“You had to get her? She’s stupid. Maria wasn’t--” 

“Shut up about Maria,” Steve barks at Ann. “She’s gone. You want a kid, this is what we do.” 

“Should we... should we talk about this here?” She asks. 

“You’re the one who brought it up, Ann,” he retorts. “Besides, she’s dissociating. She probably thinks she’s at home. It’s better she’s like this. Easier.” 

“It won’t be when--” 

“Shut up,” he snarls again. “Go.” 

Silence. Tense and thick. Finally, a set of footfalls depart and another come closer. You don’t react as the figure sits on the edge of the bed, not even as they touch your shoulder through the layers of blankets. 

“Sweetie, how are you doing?” Steve coos. “You wanna get up? You must be hungry.” 

You don’t answer him. You can’t. You’re embarrassed. He’s right about you. Ann is right about you. You’re broken. That fact doesn’t hurt as much as another epiphany; he chose you because of that. You’re not special, you’re not pretty, he doesn’t want you. They want what you can give them. Just like Andy. 

“Can I bring you some food? You have to eat, sweetie,” rubs your shoulder. “Not just for you.” 

You want to scream. Just the very thought of having a baby makes your skins crawl. Your muscles constrict to the point of agony every time you try to imagine it. To you, the very idea is a like a parasite invading your body. 

Just like they did. 

Andy. Ann. Steve. 

She’s right. You are stupid. You made the same mistake twice. Worse, you betrayed and abandoned the only person who every cared about you. The person who would never violate you or call you dumb and useless. You left Amber behind but you think it’s better that you did. Better for her. 

You have no where to go. You’re trapped. This is how it’s going to be. You’re going to keep letting them use you and then you’re going to have a baby. A baby! A baby? No, no, no. 

“Sweetie,” Steve pulls down the blanket to caress your face, “you wanna come to the office today? We can talk. Maybe after, we can go shopping. We’ll need to start getting stuff for the nursery.” You shudder as he strokes along your cheek, “you know, me and Ann, we never thought we could have another. You’re... you’re giving us an amazing gift. You’re making our dreams come true.” 

You stay as you are. He takes a deep breath and spreads his hand over your head. He bends over you and brushes his lips along your temple and to your ear. 

“Get the fuck up.” 

His voice makes you squeak and recoil. As you try to pull away, he catches the back of your head and keeps you there. Your eyes flick open and you gape up at him. He makes you sit up as he grips your skull between his large hands. 

“You’re not going to do this. Not to my baby,” he snarls, “so get up, get dressed, and be a good girl, dove.” 

You pout and your eyes wet, “Steve, please--” 

“You keep this up, and I’ll have to go see how your sister’s doing...” he intones. “Living all alone, she must miss you.” 

“What?” You croak. 

“Someone has to keep an eye on her,” he says. 

“What do you mean?” You whine. 

“You really want me to say it?” He snarls. 

“No, why? Why? You know—I t-t-told you—Andy--” 

He shoves you back down, so hard your neck snaps back and you bite your tongue, “don’t say his fucking name to me. Don't even breathe him in the same sentence as me. I’m not like him and you know that, sweetie. Look how much I’ve helped you. How much I’ve actually helped you.”

He stands and kicks the bed. “I’m giving you a purpose. Something you never had before.” He scoffs and paces around as you rub your neck, “you were nothing before. No one wanted you, no one needed you.” 

“Stop, please. That’s mean--” 

“The truth hurts, baby,” he growls. “So let’s get the fuck up and go.” 

You sniffle and shakily push yourself up. Your heart races and the rampant beat pounds in your ears. You push yourself to the edge of the bed and the blankets slip away from your body. As you stand, his eyes flash at you. 

You’re still naked. They just leave you like that when they’re done. You cross the room but don’t make it to the dresser. He catches you by your arm and drags you back. 

“Not so fast,” he shoves you towards the bed. “Just to make sure,” he forces you onto the bed. “Open up, baby,” he climbs over you, pinning you as his hand creeps between your legs. 

You close your eyes again. You recede back into the shell hewn form years of self-hatred and fear. The cocoon that never let you free. You would never fly free and be a butterfly. You would only ever be this. A burden. Nothing. 

He ruts into you but you don’t feel it. You can’t. His intrusion doesn’t hurt anywhere as bad as the truth. And you can’t blame anyone but yourself. You chose this. 

🕊️

It happens all at once. One moment, you’re sitting there, watching Avery and Harper run in circles around the front room, and the next, you’re keeled over, hurling onto the carpet. You don’t think much of it. Most days, you feel sick. You don’t have an appetite but they make you eat. You still have scratches around your lips from Ann’s manicure. 

You stay bent over the carpet, panting. Avery squeals, “Moooom!” and Harper snickers and adds a draw out, “ewwwwwwwww”. 

You’re pushed back against the couch. You’re breathless and dizzy. You gulp down the bile and watch Ann grimace down at the puddle between your feet. She puts her hands on her hips. 

“Steve,” she rings out. 

Another shadow appears. The adults are quiet as the kids loom behind, “is she sick?” Avery asks. 

“Go. Take your brother to his room.” Ann snips. 

The girl retreats as if away from a lash. You stare up at them. Steve bends and picks you up off the couch. You refuse to set your feet so he carries you away. 

“I’m not cleaning this up,” Ann snarls. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve says, “did you check the calendar?” 

Footsteps follow him as you hang limp in his arms. He takes you into the bedroom, the dark cell where you languish between their grabbing hands, where you wallow in despair and defeat. He lays you down. 

“Makes sense,” Ann drones. “She’s about on track.” 

He hums and nods. “I’ll clean up. We need to be sure.” 

“I’ll need help,” she sniffs. “Just look at her.” 

You stare at the ceiling. The world fades behind the ring of light in your vision as the light bulbs sears into your retina. You close your eyes and everything moves around you as you stay still. 

It’s quiet when you rise from the depths. Out of the void of your own mind and the prison of your body. The lamp next to the bed is on and you’re wearing a shirt you’ve never seen before. There’s a faint scent of urine in the air. You’re all alone. 

Your stomach turns, mulching in on itself, but you ignore it. You just can’t be bothered. The swell of sickness chokes you and you just wallow it back down. Your body spasms with the effort. 

You roll onto your stomach and close your eyes. When you open them again, you’re spewing puke down the bed spread, watching it pool on the hardwood. You wipe your mouth with the back of your head and groan. 

An inch away is the bin from the bathroom. If you’d been awake, you might have been able to reach it. You stretch out your arm and drag it closer. There's a rattle in the bottom. 

You stare down at the white and blue plastic stick. Without fear, you grab it and bring it up to read the little window. Pregnant. That’s it. That's the end. You drop the test into your own puke and roll onto your other side. You dive back into the despondency of sleep. 

You’re woken again by an angry voice. Then a swat on the back of your head, “disgusting, aren’t you?” Ann chides.  

You can hear her scrubbing the floor as the smell of puke hangs in the air. Puke and piss. Filthy, like you. 

When the room is silent and still, you lay on your back. You’re still nauseous. Weak and tired. Everything is so much more intense than it’s ever been. 

The door opens. You don’t react. Steve calls your name and you still don’t answer. He drags you up the bed and makes you sit against the pillows, placed against the headboard. Then he puts the little folding table over your lap. The scent of food makes you grumble. 

“You have to eat,” he says. “It’s not just about you anymore, dove.” 

His timbre is harsh, hateful almost. He holds up the spoon and you stare it down. You keep your lips sealed. 

“Open your damn mouth or I’ll do it for you.” 

You wince and obey. You don’t understand why he changed. He used to be nice. He used to be patient and gentle. He said he was going to fix you. You take the mouthful of porridge and swallow without tasting. 

“You’re... a doctor,” you squeak. 

“Hmm?” He scoops up more of the oats. 

“You’re a doctor... you’re supposed to help me--” 

“I have helped,” he rams the spoon in your mouth again. “You think it would be any different with him? He wouldn’t want you the minute you got knocked up.” He stirs the bowl as he speaks, “but if you give us a healthy baby, we’ll keep you.” 

If. 

You open your mouth again. You stay quiet. You don’t like talking to him. Not anymore. It's always about the baby. It’s always spiteful. He hates you. 

“You get it?” He sneers. “You are carrying our child, that means you have to take care of yourself,” he grabs your hand and wraps it around the spoon, “you need to grow up.” He guides the spoon into the bowl with a clink. “Because if you don’t start taking care of my baby, then I will make sure you fucking suffer. I’ve lost too much already.” 

You whimper and he lets you go. You raise the spoon and lean forward to put the heap of steaming oats between your lips. His eyes are as icy as his words. You’re scared. You’re even more terrified of him than you ever were of Andy. 

“Good girl,” he says but it doesn’t make you feel good. Not anymore. 

You finish the whole bowl, and the fruit on the side, and the orange juice. He gathers up the tray and leaves you. You slump against the pillows and rub your stomach, trying to calm the storm inside. 

It’s more than the latent tide of nausea that makes you restless. You’re head pounds. You can’t even close your eyes. If you sleep any longer, your skull might just split. Your body is achy and your heart feels as if its always racing. You sit up and look around the room. 

Nine months. You know that’s how long it takes. You’ll have less than that by now. You’re not sure how long it would be. 

You turn and shimmy to the edge of the bed. You slide open the night table drawer and take out your journal. You search through the pages. Steve told you to right down your cycle... 

Hm, you can’t figure it out. Probably two months? Maybe less? It doesn't feel like that long.

You put the journal back and your knuckles brush on the smooth cover of your tablet. You pause and lean forward to look into the drawer. You stopped using it because you didn’t want to be reminded of Andy. You couldn’t draw because your hand wouldn’t listen to your brain. 

You glance at the door then take out the tablet. You push back into bed and put your knees up, draping the blankets over them so if anyone walks in, you can hide the screen. You press the button on the side. It takes a moment but it lights up. 

You wait until the homescreen appears. Thirty percent. You can’t remember where the charger went. 

You pull down the notifications. There are a lot. Automatic alerts from the camera at Andy’s house, messages from a strange account that can only be him, and several app updates. 

You swipe them all away. You flick over the menu, back and forth, back and forth. You tap on Insta and wait for it to load. Your last post was a year ago; a drawing of a dove... 

You go to your followers. You don’t have many but you’re only looking for one. You tap Amber’s picture. Her profile opens and your fingers twitch in surprise. Your fingertip taps the little heart and it blooms red. You quickly press again to undo the like. 

Her last post is from a week ago. It’s her and a man. He doesn’t seem to want to be on camera as she kisses his cheek. Oh. You can’t bother her. She’s moved on. She’s happy and you’re going to ruin her life all over again. You’re not her responsibility. 

Your eyes fill with tears as you stare at her picture. A red dot appears at the bottom over the chat icon. It blinks as several messages flow in. It's Amber. 

‘Hey!’ 

‘Are u there?’ 

‘Says ur online. Pls answer me.’ 

You watch her messages pop up. Your lip trembles. What can you do? What can you say? You wipe your tears and snivel. Hey, sis, got myself knocked up and now I’m scared. No, that’s not it. 

You hover your hands over the keyboard and steady them. You blow out between your lips and sort out the words in your head. You tap the letters slowly, taking your time. 

‘I just want to say goodbye. I’m sorry for all the pain I caused. I’m glad to see that you’re happy. Love you.’ 

You read and reread. Over and over. Then you make yourself send it. You don’t wait for her response. What she says, doesn’t matter. She’s free from you. She doesn’t need to worry. You’re not worried either. This is just how it is.  

[hijinxinprogress]

Young Justice spends all of their time violating the Geneva conventions or mocking their mentors bc they’re traumatized theater kids without any capacity for a verbal filter which is also why they’re not allowed to watch movies at the tower

YJ is watching some hero movie and a character with a gruff voice sternly says “we don’t kill…we’re better than that” so Tim gives the most dramatic sigh and goes “this is giving me back the migraine from our last lecture from the league” which leads to YJ doing their best to dramatically reenact disappointed justice league lectures

Cissie, offhandedly: Most superheroes having that dumbass code that’s some variation of “we don’t kill, we’re better than that…” make me fucking nauseous because who’s we? I’ll have you know my mother assures me that I’m a piece of shit everyday so no I’m not better than this.

Greta, in a mocking disappointed tone: Cissie! I’m very surprised at your behavior, we’ve taught you better than that! We’re here to protect people not to hurt them

Kon, in his best angry Cissie impression: Well, who’s gonna protect my sleep schedule? You woke me up at 3am to stop some idiot that wanted to steal kryptonite? Are you serious?They’re not going to jail they’re going to the nearest cemetery that I can promise you

Anita, in a dramatic hero pose: I’m not like you…you made me realize something, I have friends and people that love me so I’m not going to-

Bart, doing an excellent mimicry of Anita’s unimpressed face: He killed your family wdym you’re better than that, that’s dumb as hell you even look at anyone I know with the tiniest hint of malice you’re leaving in a bodybag

Kon, turning to Bart and making his voice echo the way Greta’s does when she’s annoyed: what is this nonsense I wouldn’t let anyone get away with doing that to you guys I promise they’d suffer immensely

Cassie, hovering in the air doing a terrible impression of disappointed superman: We can’t kill because then we’re no better than they are

Anita, glaring at Cassie with her best Kon impression: I’m okay with that…let’s not pretend you don’t expect this from me, am I supposed to care? They deserve to suffer, why should I be the only one that has to suffer?

Anita, pretending to storm off dramatically while Cassie tries to look disapproving:

Cissie, doing her angry Bart impression: You’re not gonna waste people I actually like then get to chill in jail and breakout in a couple days

Tim, in a dramatic ‘I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed’ tone: I’m not sure how you did things in the future but you can’t do things like this, do you understand?

Cissie, snorting and crossing her arms in the agitated way Bart does: I understand that our first fight will be our last because we’re not doing this shit again I’m not superman

Greta, in a gruff Batman voice: People can change if you give them a chance

Cassie, in a sarcastic Tim impression: I’ll start a timer I’ll even give him five minutes why are you playing with me rn Batman

Bart, sighing disappointedly: You're so angry and I wish you’d find an appropriate outlet for all this aggression. You don’t know what taking a life will do to you, what it’ll take from you….

Tim, in an irritated Kon impression: why not? we can find out let’s do an experiment and find out I like science I’m game hbu??

Cassie, who does the second best Batman voice: Neither of you can even begin to understand-! How do you know you won’t end up ending low tier criminals like pickpocketers? We can’t play judge, jury, and executioner… what happens when you’re wrong? What’s going to stop you?

Greta, fiddling with a phone and shrugging before giving Cassie Tim’s patented ‘I can ruin your life and you’ve just given me a reason’ look while doing her impression of the way Tim stands when he’s pissed and rolling her eyes: Self control? Common sense? When have my hunches ever been wrong? Don’t play with my intelligence, it will not work out for you

Bart, doing his best to copy the way Cassie stands and messes with their hair when they’re pissed: I’m just saying, if you blow up a city block you lose air privileges I have debris in my shoes rn for what?

[JL was meeting with a bunch of reporters in the tower and later had to do a lot of damage control after the press released a statement about the JL failing to rehabilitate young villains]

[marymary-diva17]

My treasures

zuko,azula and mom reader

The duty you had for the fire nation and your royal in laws, so to keep the family strong and also have children who are fire benders like their father. Those duties had been fulfilled when you had zuko and azula two gifted fire benders, that you love so much and care deeply for as well. Azula and zuko had both become your prizes treasures in your life within in the palace, as you had given up your old life to welcome a new life that had been made. The kids love and care for you as you love and care for them as well.

y/n " ........" you are sitting in the garden and looking at fountain, and you thought it was going to be a peaceful day. As the kids seem to be busy with some other matters and you had not been given, any royal duties to deal with today.

????? " mom" you had soon heard the voice of your kids as you soon got up, and turned towards them.

y/n " hello my children now tell me what has gotten you in such an energetic mood"

azula " well mom I was show Zuzu that I can out race him to you and I won"

zuko " stop calling me that azula"

azula " never and you can't make me dumb dumb"

zuko " azula"

y/n " no fight with each other you both know that"

zuko and azula " yes mom"

y/n “ now tell me how your lessons went”

zuko “ the lessons went well today mom and you can ask the teachers”

y/n “ I will young man”

azula “ we also practice our fire bending as well, our mentors are saying we are doing great … well they said that about me not Zuzu”

zuko “ azula”

y/n “ be nice Azula your brother is getting there”

azula “ yes mom hey mom you can fire bender as well “

y/n “ yes but my fire bender is not for fighting that much, more like performance and other stuff as well” the kids looked amazed at you as you had stated fire bender and made a bride of fire soon having it fly around.

azula " wow mom that amazing"

y/n " thank you"

zuko " did you use to do fire bender before you married father"

????? " oh so your mother is showing you two her fire bending is she" the trio had soon looked and saw ozai coming their way.

zuko and azula " hello father"

y/n " hello my husband"

ozia " hello my wife and children I heard you all talking, and came to see what was the matter"

azula " mom was telling us the fire bending she can do"

ozai " oh I can see that your mother using her skills in beautiful way, that is something I learned about her and that I love"

zuko " wow that amazing"

y/n " it seems like we are blessed with very gifted benders my husband, in no time our kids will be doing well with the element of fire"

ozai " yes they will be doing well and in time they will be helping the nation, gain more power and land"

y/n " yes you are right my dear" you still didn't like the idea of your kids become benders that will use their skills, for evil and you knew that ozai will make them follow his family path in life.

azula " mother"

y/n " yes my dear"

azula " i was wondering if you can show us some of your skills"

y/n " sure I will love to my daughter"

ozai " yes that sounds like a good idea you two will need to know, all the skins to be the best fire benders like all the rest that came before you two"

the kids " yes dad"

ozai " good"

ozai " children I will love to have some words with your mother alone"

zuko and azula " yes father" the kids soon bowed before they walked away. You are soon left alone in the royal gardens with you husband he soon looked at you.

ozai " I will allow you to teach them fire bending that you learned while, growing up but I don't wish for the kids to learn anything else from your past"

y/n " I know my husband I know"

ozai " good you have been a good wife and mother stay by my side and with the royal after all these years"

y/n " thank you my love and you have been a good husband and father as well"

ozai " I know you long for your past but those times and life is over, you are lady of the nation no longer that village young lady I meet many years ago"

y/n " yes I know ozai but I can still think about my past"

ozai " yes you can but sometime it the best if you give up the past, for everyone sake"

'y/n " yes my husband"

ozai " here you can tell those stoires and anything else to the children's if they makes you happy, but I wish for them to not have that much of connection"

y/n " thank you this make me happy"

ozai " sure I will leave you here now I have a meeting with my father" you had nodded your head as ozai kissed your hand before he soon walked off, you were now once again left alone with your thoughts. Sitting on the stone beach and thinking about the past and present, there was also worry about what the future will hold as well.

[evilminji]

Pondering Doors Again >.>

Thinking about a concept I saw in a Manhwa. "Dungeons feed of the death that occurs within them" and how the Protagonist went "alright, Bet. A stable and prosperous society for outcasts has a LOT of Death! What with the need to eat food and people growing old and thus, inevitably, at least SOMEONE dying every day".

Because FARMING is and always has been a slower but more profitable way to accumulate food then Hunting. More reliable too.

And? What better way too feed your hunger(HungryHungryHUNGRYItHurtSIMSO-) then by BECOMING a Trap Door? Not every ghost looks human. Not every ghost WANTS too.

Maybe you want to Live. Yes, you are fighting, fighting, fighting. Not even Death can take you. But given half a chance? Given the infinite freedom of the Zone and all of Time stretched out before you? Do you? WANT to think anymore? WANT to keep fighting FOREVER for every scrap of food to fill your endless NEED for food? Your obsession with being full?

You can stop.

Like meditation.

Instead of MAKING a Lair... become one. You could always change your mind, if you felt like it. Souls rarely if ever DO, but you COULD. Then? You wait.

There are house ghosts. Dwellings that die. You blend right in. Are you angry? Vengeful? Do you blame the world? Perhaps you'll call them in. Like Hansel and Gretel. Look upon my house made of candy, children. Isn't it tempting? Isn't it sweet? Come closer. Listen to my siren song.

Chomp.

But, maybe you are tired. Hungry. Old bones and cold, barren soil. Barely the strength to paint gaudy veneers over straining, decaying wood. Like long abandoned circuses. You try for the appearance of cheer, but your tattered visage. betrays you. Yet, just like them, while you may not be able to entice those you truely wish to come? Vermin find safety and comfort in your walls.

And is that not how nature heals? First the weeds? The insects and vermin? Little things that build to great forests over time? Blobs hide within in you. Safely out from underfoot. What do they care, if you can not provide them scenery? You are safe. And they? They feed you in turn.

Like little worker bees. Drifting out, gorging on ectoplasm, and returning. Nesting safely inside you, they radiate that Ectoplasm and leech it into the Lair around them. You feed. And Feed. And FEED.

You make more places to hide for them. Bushes. Trees. You only half remember them now, so the colors are off and the forms shakey at best. The blobs do not care. More flock to you in response. You grow stronger. Make more trees.

You finally, FINALLY attract a curious and skittish ghost. They linger by the entrance. Watching. Uncertain. They know traps and hunters hide out here. Who would leave a perfectly good Lair up for grabs? This is a trick. A nasty little trap. Right? It has to be! Their luck can not be this good.

But it is. Because bottom feeders find each other all the time. Lairs that have little to offer and Ghosts who couldn't possibly defend anything worth keeping. All the Zone is stronger then them, why not be weakling together?

And they always take the chance. Because hope is eternal.

Inching forward in a cautious float, ready to dash away, they eventually realize the Lair really IS up for grabs. It really CAN be theirs. Which of course... means they have to fix it up of course! They are THRILLED. Look at all this ROOM! Why, these trees are LOVELY. A good start! They just gotta tweak THIS and then THAT aaand... there we go! Oooh, now over THERE would be a great place for a- *excited muttering*

And a proper ghost? MUCH better at bringing in Ectoplasm then a blob. Then dive in and out, fetching plants to transplant, decorations, building supplies. They invite their friend to crash with them. Become roommates. Their roommate gets a partner. They meet someone. Eventually somebody has a kid. And so on and so on.

All the while, they are feeding their Lair. Do they know it's not a NORMAL Lair? Yeah. They aren't dumb. Blobs disappear sometimes, if no one leaves for too long. House ghosts don't do that (or so they're told). But? They aren't powerful ghosts. They are weak ones. They CAN'T defend one of the nice spots from jerks who want to take it.

But a Lair that can defend ITSELF? And doesn't seem to want to eat them? Meh. Whatever works, man.

And you know what happens? Eventually, you reach a sustainable mass tipping point. Enough ghosts, set up in houses and cabins and castles and caves. All within a single Trap Lair. That they radiate enough ectoplasm to sustain the Lair itself. Enough that it can FINALLY pull the infamous and legendary "never leave" trick.

What is that trick?

Simple! You are a ghost. You'd kinda like an apple. You get up to leave you Lair to go get one. Oh, hey, an apple tree! That's new. Oh, these are really good! You sit back down. You never leave. Why would you leave? You are happy and have everything here. Your friends and family are here. Have another cake. Sit back down.

That is the trick.

The Trap of the sort of Trap Door.

They are known as Honey Traps. Heaven's Gates. Dream Doors. And they build slow to become quite dangerous. Entire cities exsist inside them. Ghosts go in and never come out. The take the energy you produce, small kernel that it is, and feed it back to you. And Ghosts? Efficient generators that they are, produce far more then they are given. Little into more. Little into greater. Building and building.

Until it has the strength to weave dreams.

Trap and entice. Blind and numb you. Bread and circuses for the masses, pay no attention to the bars that keep you here. You LOVE the comfort of your cage! You can leave whenever you want! You just never want too.

The Lair makes certain of that.

@the-witchhunter @hypewinter @hdgnj @mutable-manifestation

[blingblong55]

Are you there? - 141

Reader goes missing on a mission.

This is based on a request

F!Reader, Angst?(idk anymore)

The team and you were in a high profile mission. Laswell thought you'd be perfect bait for this one. However it was a deal/plan between you and her. You would get the men out and give yourself up so they could return back to base. All is going well so far.

"Price?"

''R/n, you and Gaz take left, meet us at extraction point.'' he commanded and you obeyed. Gaz was hit in the head by some gravel. You pushed him out and dragged him to extraction. You ran back and made the enemy chase you. Soap and Ghost ran towards him as soon as they noticed he was unconscious. Price looked around, but no sight of you.

''Fuck, where are you kid.'' he said under his breath.

''This is Bravo six, how copy?''

''What is the matter?'' Laswell responds.

''We've lost the kid, she's nowhere to be seen.''

At that moment Laswell knew the plan you two had made worked, ''did you all make it to extraction?''

''yes, but we have to go back for her-''

''negative, you and the others get on that helicopter and leave, no need to fight.''

''we lost the kid, what do you mean negative?''

''get on that heli Price, thats an order.''

----------

The ride on the helicopter was...confusing, to say the least. Soap would look out the window and to the ground, he'd ask too many questions. Ghost was looking for any smoke signal, but nothing. Gaz, although injured fought the medics and tried at many occasions to jump out and go search for you. Price was quiet.

It was odd for Laswell to just tell him to leave you behind, knowing well that you and him had grown a daughter-father relationship.

After the medics tranquilized Gaz, Price turned to his men. ''You two meet me at my office.''

Soap and Ghost nod and continue doing their own thing.

------------

At base, the three men sat there, plotting their next move. Soap tried not to think of what could've happened to you. What if you were looking for him in all that smokey mess? What if the enemy saw you and knocked you down?

All he kept doing was touch the small bracelet you had given him not long ago. It was regret, maybe if Ghost would've gone with you and Gaz you'd be annoying him with your stupid jokes by now.

''She's going to be okay.'' Price tried to say with confidence. Ghost took out a picture of you and the rest of the team. You and Soap doing some funny pose whilst he flexed his arms. It was a good day that day.

---------

There you were, hanging from your arms at some old base. You had been beaten up over the course of 13 hours. Your own blood soaking your uniform. The matching bracelet holding onto your wrist as a reminder there are people waiting for your return.

Gaz was the first one you thought of. How hard he must be on himself for losing sight of you. And then you thought of Price, no one to hear his stupid corny dad jokes. Ghost probably reliving some stress from his past because now you weren't there like his own family. And then the one you tried to not think of the most, your best friend in all, Soap.

How much he would be arguing with Laswell over the decision. The dumb bracelet you got him after you over heard it was meant for a forever kind of friendship.

As your own blood dripped down your weak limbs, it was them who you thought of. The one family no one would ever take from you. The one thing this cruel world would'nt dare understand.

--------------------

''R/N!'' a muffled voice called for you.

''Are you there?'' another deeper voice ushered.

Your vision blurry as you tried to keep your eyes open, but you knew it was time to let go.

''...go Home'' the sweet voice said, you felt warmth, a sense of familiarity.

You soon met darkness.

A/N: this one is short I know...but hey..its something am I right?

Tags: @ghostslittlegf

(hope this is angsty enough for ya)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

[oddballwriter]

MoonDads doing "dad things"

Warnings: Not really any other than the mention that Jake does the thing where dads will hold their kids funny for fun 

Author’s Snip: Listen I just wanted to write MoonDads again and certain "dad things" they would do.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

Steven Grant

You know how some dads will make up little songs/ditties for their kids?

Like Coraline's dad when he's serving dinner where he goes "Oh, my twitchy witchy girl, I think you are so nice. I give you bowls of porridge and I give you bowls of ice cream."

Steven does that. He made up a goofy little jingle for your kid to laugh at

Steven also makes up goofy and cute little nicknames for you kid too

Like Starlight to go with MoonKnight.

And maybe it's a thing they do back and thus creates a new nickname. So maybe you kid calls him POPSicle and so he calls them Ice Cream Scoop or something

Just something dumb and cute that makes them smile

Marc Spector

I know for a fact that he's the type of dad that falls asleep with the baby on his chest while he lays on the couch but that's beside the point. That's a given I think all three can do that, he just holds that energy more

Anyways

Marc would be the dad that goes "When I was your age-", minus mentioning the obvious, all the time

He just says it as like a bonding thing to be like "did you know" but he will sometimes do it to be playfully annoying and will change it to "Back in my day-"

Also. For whatever reason he's the most determined to teach your kid how to ride a bike

It doesn't even matter if your kid wants or needs a bike. Marc saved up money to buy them a bike and helmet and teaches them how to ride a bike

Accomplishing that is just something that would scratch the fatherly itch he has in his brain just right. To him that's one of the best things he's accomplished.

To him, that is peak dad achievement

Jake Lockley

You ever had your dad and or father figure pick you up and carry you like a bag of bread as a kid? Like tucked under their arm and you're just hanging there?

That has such Jake energy. Jake does that.

I mean he'll carry your child normally and more securely too but like... dads do that with their kids a lot

Just holding them weird

Steven and Marc always scold and yell at him not to do that but he's always like "They're fine! Look! They like it!"

[fvck-the-rest]

Helping Hand

Gojo x female? reader (reader is like a motherly figure)

word count: 1277

\warnings\ none, really just fluff, reader just wants to help Gojo out, this is so dumb

“There has to be SOMETHING that i can do to help you out Gojo, you don't even know the first thing about raising a kid!”, at this point, should have given up and gone home. But he was so stubborn- to stubborn- and claimed he knew everything there was to know about raising a kid. 

“Please, I'm THE strongest, I can handle a couple of kids, beside its my responsibility to care for them now anyway, I don't see our name anywhere in this.” He was getting on your nerves, wanting nothing more than to help these two kids have a motherly figure in their life and not be bright up to be just like Gojo- this was for the sake of the world. 

“Gojo look-” he put his hand over your face, preventing anything else that you had to say be lost into his palm. 

“Ah-ah, now you see y/n I don't need help, my responsibility, not yours, I'm the one who killed their father and I was the one who took it on myself to take them from being sold.”. He was so calm about taking them in, like it was nothing- he made it seem like he has done it a million times in his life. But, you knew he needed help , you say that he was tired and stressed. He had just lost his best friend, failed a mission and just killed a murder. But he was THE strongest so of course no one else would step in and help him or see that he was tired- beside he also wore sunglasses or something that covered his eyes. 

By now he had turned around and was walking back to his place to greet the kids. Following him in silence, he knew that you were there and that you were just trying to help but the last thing he wanted to do was cause you any sort of discomfort or stress. He didn't turn around to stop you and even left the door open for you when he got to the place. He walked into the kitchen and turned to look at you. 

“Look, if you really want to help,  when they get home they usually have a small snack while they start on homework. You can help them out and then I don't want to help anymore. “ Gojo took off his sunglasses and put them on the counter behind him before going to get the snacks that he gave them after school. 

Without a word you took it from him- not to his surprise though and brought it to the table in the next room. The white harried man follows you with drinks for all four of you. About to say that you can do more than help with some homework, you heard the sound of the door opening.  

They took off their shoes and came into the room you stood in, “Hello!” they both said to you, running over to hug.

“Hi kiddos, how were your days at school?” squatting down to b e eye level with them, hugging them back.  

“It was good, but my teacher gave me a lot of homework to do today.”Tsumiki said with a slight whine in her voice.

“My day was okay, but I have just a little bit of homework to do,” Megumi said on the other side of his sister, already getting his papers out and putting them at the table. 

“Okay, then we can get all your homework down and then maybe we can watch a movie together and maybe have Gojo get some snacks for all of us to share. How does that sound?”, standing to help Megumi and Tsumiki get all their papers out and settle at the table to do their homework. 

“Now let's started shall we, the sooner you get it down the sooner we can watch a movie.”, with that they were ready to start doing their homework while Gojo watched from the kitchen wondering how you got them both to do it without any word of complaint. At this point he would still be arguing with Megumi with who knows what.

After about an hour they were both down with their work and ready to watch a movie with you. But first you needed a snack for the movie first. 

“GOJO! COME ON WE GOTTA GET SNACKS FOR THE MOVIE” yelling out to try and figure out where the white haired man went. Not hearing anything from him you went looking, first to the bedroom. 

Laying on the bed passed out, there he was. He really was tired, deciding to leave him to sleep ,walking back to the front door.

“Gojo’s not coming with us, he has something to deal with right now. Come on, let's go before it gets too dark out”, opening the front door and holding their hands you walked to the store to get all the snacks and drinks that you would need for the night, then walking back just before it got dark. 

Asking them to pick out a movie, you went to go and check on Gojo again, who was -not to your surprise- was still fast asleep on his bed. 

Coming back, you put in the movie they picked and sat in the middle of them, opening things here and there. Soon enough switching on another movie, but this time they had both fallen asleep on the couch before finishing this one. 

Doing your best to not wake them up, you stand and pick up Tsumiki and bring her to bed then do the same for her brother. Once they were both in bed, making their way back to Gojo. 

He was starting to stir before mumbling to you, “What time is it”, just before burying his head into his pillow.

“It’s bedtime for you, and everyone else. Do you want me to stay the night? I can sleep on the couch so you don’t have to get up.” in a soft voice you tried to get him to lift his head from the pillow so you could hear him clearly. 

“I always want you to stay the night, y/n. I don't like when you leave, I get scared that you won’t come back. You can sleep in bed with me, just please don't leave."He was so tired, probably didn't even know what he was really saying or to whom he was saying this too. Yet he sounded so sincere and sad, but still leaving a blush on your face. There was no way that you could leave him in this state. 

“I’m not going anywhere Gojo, I'll stay the night here if you want me too. But I shouldn’t sleep in the same bed as you.” letting out a small giggle before being grabbed and falling onto the bed. Landing next to Gojo , wrapped in his arms facing him.

“You’re sleeping here tonight, so I know that you won’t leave.” lifting your head to look at him, landing a small kiss on your forehead “Also, stop gaping my ‘Gojo’, we're close enough, you can call Saturo from now on, besides you're about to sleep in my bed, that should make us more than friends now. Of course if that's okay with you”

Letting out just a small nod, you let him wrap around you and pull the blanket over you both. Steading your breathing oto match his and the back rubbing he was giving you, it did not take long for you to fall asleep.Soon to be woken up by a loud bang of the little ones trying to make breakfast for you two.

[shaisuki]

THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU FLIRT WITH MY GIRL (various)

ᝰ.ᐟ think twice before you flirt with a sweet looking thing. you will never know what kind of disaster is coming for you.

SAY MY NAME (various)

ᝰ.ᐟ falling asleep is nothing but when you say their name while asleep things change.

HIDDEN INTENTIONS (nanami kento)

ᝰ.ᐟ nobody knew what's going on inside his head.

THE STRONGEST: A SERIES (gojo satoru)

ᝰ.ᐟ a compilation of drabbles featuring the great gojo satoru. ranging from steamy scenes to teeth-rotting fluff to the most angsty scenes.

IS THIS WHAT LOVE FEELS LIKE? (various)

ᝰ.ᐟ ahh, young love it is.

HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE: A SERIES (toji fushiguro)

ᝰ.ᐟ a short series of drabbles featuring toji and his chubby wife and baby megumi.

ME, SATORU AND OUR ADOPTED KIDS: A SERIES (gojo satoru)

ᝰ.ᐟ a compilation of drabbles featuring gojo and the fushiguro siblings as they make way of their new and chaotic ways of living.

MY HUSBAND'S BEST FRIEND (geto suguru)

ᝰ.ᐟ a happy life with your husband suguru and with your twins, what could you wished for, not until your husband's best friend took the form of the green-eyed monster.

WHAT DO YOU NEED, BABY? (gojo satoru)

ᝰ.ᐟ your husband is more than willing to provide what you need.

SSSH, DON'T CRY (itadori & gojo)

ᝰ.ᐟ they always unintentionally made you cry.

GODSEND TO HIM, A SIN FOR THE OTHER (geto suguru)

ᝰ.ᐟ for every mistake, punishment takes place.

PIECE BY PIECE (geto suguru)

ᝰ.ᐟ it may took too long but suguru is determined you will never experience the same pain again.

BLOOD FOR BLOOD (choso kamo)

ᝰ.ᐟ as revenge choso decided to kill you but what happens when the scent of your blood does something inevitable to him?

NOT YOUR FAULT (various)

ᝰ.ᐟ after a terrible feeling of guilt, they just know how to comfort you.

WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE ME, DARLING? (various)

ᝰ.ᐟ they have given more what you needed and provided for you and yet, it's not enough. why would you dare leave them when all they had is the "love" they have for you.

GREAT PRETENDER (itadori yuuji)

ᝰ.ᐟ you should have never played fire if you can't face the repurcussions.

GETTING COMFY, ARE WE? (various)

ᝰ.ᐟ you could be so affectionate with them if you want, it would be adorable if you would just forget what they did to you.

POSITIVE TEST RESULTS (various)

ᝰ.ᐟ a baby! the excitement and the incomprehensible joy they felt when they are expecting from you. a blessing or a curse? anyways, no matter what it is to keep you in place with them.

BRUISES AND DEAD BODIES (various)

ᝰ.ᐟ there's lines that cannot be crossed with them and involving you is a dumb way to die.

SON, YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS CUTE. MIND IF I HAVE A TASTE? (toji fushiguro)

ᝰ.ᐟ in which toji couldn't help but to steal a taste of his son's girlfriend. hope he doesn't find out. poor megumi.

[nohoney]

no bc i’m actually obsessed with your Hunger Games AU with Keigo and Katsuki. would you be willing to expand on it??

oooh yes, i’m very willing (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

hawks / bakugou

“I think I’ll die.”

Bakugou listens quietly from behind the door of his room, opened just a small crack as he strains his ears to listen to you speak. He’s supposed to be resting since it’s less than 48 hours for the games to begin. All that stupid parading, those annoying interviews, the scoring of all the tributes skills, all of it has lead up to games.

“Don’t say that, you’re smarter than you look. Let them underestimate you, survive out there for yourself and slip under the radar.” Hawks is trying to comfort you, standing out in the hallway where all the bedrooms are located in the lavish apartment. “You remember everything I taught you?”

He assumes that you nodded your head, he can see it in his head along with the meek little hum you gave. You’re going to live, Bakugou is going to make sure of it. You’re going to make it home and pick those flowers from the bushes you love so much, drizzle honey into your tea after trading a month’s worth of rations for just a little bit of decadence, and you’ll outlive him.

You sob a little and Hawks is shushing you. “It’s okay, cry it out now.”

“And Bakugou? What about him?” you ask quietly, “He’s my friend…”

Sadness rises in his chest and he clenches his fist. It’s swallowed down but Bakugou can’t help his heart twisting at the thought of you being sad over him. He’s always been there for you, letting you piggyback off him when you were too tired to walk through the forest, punching your bullies when they made you cry, and he always walked beside you every year when you walked towards the reaping.

“… do you know why he volunteered? He won’t tell me.”

If Hawks says anything, Bakugou is going to murder him.

“It’s best that you get rest tonight,” Hawks chooses to go around the question, “did you need something to help you sleep? I know how restless you’ve been since you’ve come here.”

There’s a little hum from you again, this one being disagreeing. “Do you remember when we used to go to the lake and play in the water with the other kids? And then we’d all nap together under the trees? You used to pet my head until I fell asleep. You remember right?” You ask quietly.

“I do.”

Bakugou does too, making a small spark of jealousy rise up in his chest. It was all innocent back then, just young kids playing and tiring themselves out. But he was always jealous too, seething silently when you paid attention to someone else but secretly happy when you stuck to his side.

“Can you do that for me please? I just… I’m sorry. That was dumb.” You try to backpedal but Hawks assured you that he’s okay with it, the softness of his voice such a dead giveaway for the obvious feelings he has for you.

It makes Bakugou want to bash his head against the wall, thinking of you and Hawks together. You’re supposed to be with him. He was supposed to have given you your favorite flowers and asked your parents for their permission to go steady at this point.

“Let’s go on the couch, I’ll grab the blanket from your room.”

Good. If Hawks had suggested your room or his own, Bakugou would have blown a fuse.

When Bakugou comes out his room in the morning, you’re sleeping alone on the couch with the blanket tucked comfortably around you. You look peaceful and he stands to admire you for a bit. His eyes look around first, glancing to be sure that Hawks isn’t around. Then he reaches down to pet the top of your head, feeling how soft your hair is from the luxurious shower products that he hopes you will get to bathe in again when this is all over.

“Mmf… Bakugou?” You mutter, your voice still heavy with sleep as you start to rouse. “Good morning.”

“Hey.” he simply greets, “You want some tea?”

You nod your head as you slowly sit up from your spot. You stretch your limbs and yawn. Although you managed to sleep, he sees that you are not rested. “I’m scared.” You quietly admit, “I’m really scared.”

He knows.

“I’m scared that-“ you start to speak but then Hawks emerges from the hallway. You keep your head down and shrink into yourself, unable to look at Hawks or Bakugou.

━━━━✧

Hawks watches with bated breath, everyone quiet as they watch the scene unfold in front of them. You fell sick, running with a high fever and delirious, barely able to stay conscious. Bakugou tucked you away in a cave to keep you safe, trying to keep you fed and alive. Everyone could see that he was upset to see you so unwell and unable to fend for yourself.

The two of you fell asleep together just a few hours ago with Bakugou’s arms wrapped protectively around you despite you complaining that it was too hot. You needed to break the fever and he was making sure of that even when you cried over how uncomfortable you felt. But the cameras were on you, recording everything when you slipped out of Bakugou’s hold and slowly peeled off the layers of clothes from your body.

If only Hawks could tell the cameras to turn away, to pan to the other tributes but he knows they won’t.

This is good television for them after all.

“Bakugou… Bakugou… it’s hot.” You slightly rock him back and forth, sweat sticking to your forehead and looking so sad. “Wake up… wake up!”

He startled awake, his eyes immediately of course drawn to your nudity and he hisses for you to put your clothes back on. You weakly fight him, shaking your head and whining in a way that reminds Hawks of when you used to throw a tantrum when you were a child. He used to pick you up and hold you until you calmed down. Now he watches how Bakugou is struggling to keep his composure around you in this vulnerable state.

“(Name)! (Name)! Stop, put your damn clothes on!” Bakugou is trying to push the thermals over your head and dress you while also trying to keep his head turned away. The stupid hosts comment how chivalrous Bakugou is, admiring with a cooing ‘awww’ that makes Hawks sick to his stomach.

This isn’t meant to be cute; you’re indecent and sick and it’s all being recorded.

“I can’t do it…” you murmur, “Can’t…”

“Yea, you can.” Bakugou sighs in frustration, “just put your head through-“

“I can’t go home without you.” You admit to him, still pushing off the clothing he’s trying to put you in.

Everyone watching the scene holds their breath.

Bakugou freezes, his face looked pained but unsure what he should say to you.

“Please, we have to go home together.” You plead quietly with tears beginning to prick the corners of your eyes, “We need to go home.”

Bakugou remains silent before putting his hand over your forehead. “Your fever is getting worse, you need to lay down and rest more.”

Hawks breaks out of his trance and looks around. He needs to do his part as your mentor, try to get you some aid from his end in any way he can. So even though he’s sick to his stomach that your nudity was televised and such an intimate moment between you and Bakugou was captured, he sets it aside to schmooze up the elites. He tells them precious little stories of you and Bakugou as children, now using the intimate confession to spin a story of sweet childhood friends with secret harboring feelings for one another.

The very thing that Bakugou never wanted in the first place.

The elites eat it up and a little parachute of medicine sails slowly in the air towards Bakugou. He snatches it and practically rips the shell open, his body deflating in relief when he finds medicine inside.

Hawks just knows that if he were to tell Bakugou how he was able to get that medicine for you, he’d be dead.

[misaldragon]

The mercs (and others) red flags.

Saw someone else do a post like this, hated it, decided to give it a try at it. Please keep in mind this is my personal list so if you don’t agree with something that’s a-okay. I welcome constructive criticism and questions.

Scout: Talks to people who aren’t there (See the comic where Zhanna tried to bed scout), major ego (to be fair he is god's favorite but still), will pick a fight with someone for you (If you have social anxiety like i do you’ll want to shrivel up and disappear), kills people (this is just going to be a given with all the mercs), and dates might be cheap due to him spending all his money on Tom Jones merch (Scout may set aside money for dates with you if you say you want to go somewhere else though but man cannot buy a house for the two of you).

Soldier: Man is as dumb as a bag of rocks (he drank led water cut him some slack… Also dumb enough to fall for just about any scam), like scout he will also fight someone for you but be much louder and bombastic about it (please i just was to not exist, no, don’t fight the dad in front of his kids), VERY proud american (as an american, this country sucks), and will yell at you, other people, anyone, that baby in the stroller? Getting yelled at! (Generally very loud person and doesn’t care who you are… Also kills people).

Pyro: Do you collect bones? You do now (Due to Pyro vision bones are probably candy or flowers or something to Pyro… They have good intentions but my god is it scary/creepy if you don’t know about Pyro vision), bones might be animal or human bones and also general body parts (Pyro vision again), will not shower around you.. Do they shower (they don’t want to be seen without their suit on but will let you clean the suit with them in it), and will probably steal your lighters (this is going off a hunch but also stealing is not something i like… Also kills people).

Heavy: Works very closely to Medic a lot of the time (and Medic is… A lot), VERY happy to do his job (and since his job is killing people this can be concerning), maybe a bit too attentive to his guns (can certainly be off putting to see a minigun in a small bed next to a larger one), and he was out of touch with his family (as shown in the comics when he's worried about his family only to find out they have been defending themselves just fine).

Engineer: Probably a workaholic so he may forget dates (note, he’ll also do his best to make it up to you if he does and start setting up reminders for himself he’s just not used to being in a relationship because of his job), makes southern sweet tea (as someone who lives in the south i know how sweet our tea is, if you don’t want cavities from looking at a drink don’t let him make sweet tea for you), probably shot at you before (mans paranoid because of spies, don’t sneak up on him), and would pressure you to ride a bull (mechanical or not but he’d prefer it to be mechanical and one he made to make sure it’s not to much, still won't take no for an answer when it comes to this only… Also kills people).

Demoman: Substance abuse (alcohol, congrats to the original you got one right), probably mommy/daddy issues (his mom seems to be an angry elderly woman, dad is dead so it seems there's something there but that could just be me), believes in monsters/ghosts (i don’t but given how the world of TF2 works this is more a IRL issue), has probably blown himself up at least once (possible that he might blow you up if he's REALLY drunk… Also kills people).

Medic: This man is a walking red flag, made a deal with the devil more than once, stole his pet doves, stole a wedding van, puts animal organs in people, manipulative (mostly seen with the tfc team when he had to manipulate them to put animal organs in them), stole a man's skeleton, medical malpractice, probably not mentally well, will take your organs, and kills people… Probably not all of it either.

Sniper: Can skin any animal or even person flawlessly and tell you how too (creepy, and i don’t want to know), very good stalker and hunter (he does this with you because he wants to surprise you with something you like but conversation is his weak point so this is the next best thing in his mind), Pyro isn’t the only one that’ll bring you animal bones (at least he’s a bit more tactful about it, making it into actual stuff like alligator teeth necklaces, deer antler coat hanger, and snake bone coasters for a few examples), probably doesn’t shower as much as he needs to (at least he brushes his teeth… Also kills people)

Spy: Will eventually leave you like he did all his other partners (which we can see with Scout's mother since he didn’t help raise Scout), is french (must i explain?), secret past (will keep as much of his past a secret as he can but also find out everything about you he can), and he never fully trusts you (he’s a spy, it’s understandable but sad.. Also kills people).

Miss pauling: Does not have time for you (unless you join her on missions but that is a large order), doesn’t fully trust you (this is from vibes), cannot fully devote herself to you or the relationship (her loyalty is to the administrator), can kill you without anyone noticing (its just scary to think about).

Saxton hale!: Can and will fight people for you even if the person just looked at you funny ( the police have been called several times), will fight a hippy just because they are a hippy (He really likes fighting), willingly and knowingly sells weapons to mercs (man can kill and condones it), will jump out of a plane with you… you have no choice.

[hellishere7980]

Whatever It Takes (CH-8)

“Come on guys think!” Dick, encouraging everyone, and while he did nothing. “We need to look at cameras, witnesses, and everything in between!”

“Hey Dickie, why don’t you make yourself useful and get us something?” Jason said, shaking his head at his older brother. “Or are you just going to act like a coach and a cheerleader at the same time?”

“Coach and cheerleader… I know it! COACHLEADER!” Dick said doing a cartwheel.

“If you’re gonna make horrible names, at least pick one, which is the least horrible.” Tim said, while his eyes were glued to the screen. “How about Cheerch?”

“Ceerch?” Damian asked. “Seriously, that’s the best you could come up with?”

“I’ve been running on—“

“Yeah, what have you been running on Replacement? Let’s tell the mother hen present. That’s exactly what you want to happen don’t you? Getting tranquilised and then dragged to bed?”

“Come on guys, don’t fight!” Dick said, jumping around

“Oh yeah, Mr. Controller.”

“How much head away have you made?” Bruce as he entered the bat cave.

“not much, I’m afraid father because these morons insist on wasting the time doing stupid shenanigans.” Damian said, rolling on his chair to face his father.

“Oh yeah, and what’s the deal with her anyway?” Jason asked, looking at him. “ If she doesn’t want to be found, why find her? She’s not in a cult. Is she?”

“I don’t know, dude.” Tim said, scrolling up. “50-50 chance, I think.”

“Don’t you dare think such a thing, she's too smart.” Damian said, jumping to his sister's defense.

“I don’t even know what she looks like? How am I supposed to ask around the Crime Alley to see if anyone saw her?” Jason asked.

“Here.” Bruce said, handing him a photograph.

“Wait a minute, she looks familiar.” Jason said, squinting at the photograph.

“I hardly think so.” Damian said. “You were too low the food chain to ever meet her—“ “SAPPHIRE?!” Jason said his thumb, covering the face of the girl in question in the photograph.

“Yes, that was her code name.” Damien said, rolling his eyes.

“Am I the only one in the dark, here? Why would she have a code name?” Dick tilted his head while he hung upside down from the trapeze bar. “Aren’t you guys interested in blood relations and all?”

“Grandfather was.” Damian said. “As long as it was related to males. Mother was accepted out in the open, simply because he couldn’t hide her. Mariam on the other hand, well. Everything about her was planned, including the fact that she would not be simply given privileges based on her birth. Would have to earn them.” Distaste was clear in Damian’s voice.

“Are you sure this is her?” Jason asked, looking Bruce in the eye.

“You know her from the league.” Bruce didn’t question it. He simply stated it.

“She was my handler, and she got me out.”

“WHAT?!” Everyone shouted (Bruce loudly growled).

“Her name was Sapphire. She always wore a mask, but I recognise those eyes anyway. She was one of the best.” Jason said, looking up at them.

Bruce gave out a long sigh. “I’ll call Talia.”

In Paris.

“Are you sure you're allowed to teach me this sort of stuff? Isn't there a sort of NDA that you have to sign? You can't just go around giving out these secrets for free.” Mariam said as food taught her the guardian language.

“As I have stated previously, the Guardians have all died and I'm the last remaining one. It is essential for me to pass on the knowledge.” Fu said, looking at her superiorly.

“Yeah, just think, if they had been alive, you would have been sued by now.” Mariam said, slightly smirking at him.

“Can we please focus on the task at hand?” Fu asked, looking up at her in frustration.

“How about no? The kwamis have already taught me this. Did you really think they didn't understand the language which the Guardians had been using in front of them for thousands of years? Kids learn language this way. And you are talking about celestial beings. I can't decide if you are this dumb or was your whole society this dumb.” Mariam said, getting up. “What do you want for dinner?”

“Just can't say things like that and expect everything to be NORMAL!” Fu said, looking up at her in agitation.

“I can and I will. Who treats beings in such a manner? Locking them up in a box. You realize such treatment was given to the worst traitors in the league.”

“WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO THEM?” Fu said as he stood up. “Ohh wait.” He said mockingly. “Maybe it's because you KILLED THEIR LEADER.”

“At least I didn't do it UNINTENTIONALLY! At least I knew what I was doing! I had the guts to say what was wrong while you just listened. You know there's a word for people like you, though you might not know it. It's called being an ENABLER.”

“DON'T YOU DARE TALK LIKE THAT WHILE YOU STAY UNDER MY ROOF.” Fu growled at her.

“I didn't beg to be here. The only reason I stayed here was to protect those beings from people like you. They are not objects.” Mariam gritted back. “Don't forget you were the one that said ‘I can make use of you.’ we both know i'm just a way for you to preserve your… CULT!”

“SILENCE!” Fu shouted at her.

“OR WHAT?! YOU'RE GONNA LOCK ME UP? KILL ME? WELL, GETTING THE LINE BUDDY.” Saying that she walked out.

I'll give you a short summary of what happened. When Marianne finally took Mariam to meet Fu, Marianne was appalled at the treatment Fu gave to the miraculous beings. Though he didn't see it, it was clearly imprisonment. Because those beings felt like they deserved it. Marion did not plan to stay in any place. She knew that she constantly had to be on the move to avoid HIM. But she had just helped people escape from that type of treatment in the league. Killing Ra’s Al-Ghul had freed many lives. Slaves. Prisoners. Killer squad teams. Her family. Seems like she had gotten a feeling for doing such things. Who knew how much toll it would take on her? Everyone thinks they can handle it before the water tips over the edge.

[booktomoviebrawl]

We are not judging how bad the movie is, we are judging which adapted the book the worst. There are good movies that are bad adaptions.

Propaganda below the cut (spoilers may apply)

Persuasion:

They massacred my girl!! That is not Anne Elliot!! The whole point is that she's beaten down and thinks she's missed her chance at happiness and is bullied by her family, not making mean and snarky nods to the camera :( They completely missed the whole point of the dynamic and it's SICKENING! They also cut Mrs Smith who is arguably one of the most important characters as she highlights Anne's lack of focus on title and rank and her family's comparative obsession with it + it's only through her that Anne learns about Mr Elliot's true nasty nature. Also they cut the 'I am half agony, half hope' line from Wentworth's letter at the end so what's even the POINT of adapting it if you don't have that!! Oh my god!! My poor favourite Austen novel :( (I do want to make it very very clear that my issues with the movie come from the writing and adaptation and not in any way from the race blind casting. The casting is superb and I'm genuinely so disappointed that they got such a bad adaptation bc so many of the cast are literally perfect)

Where do I even start? They tried to 'modernize' both the protagonist and the love story and managed to take out everything that made it good in the first place. Anne Elliot in the novel is quiet and good and helpful, full of regret. In the movie, she constantly turns to the audience to mock everyone around her, feeling so much better than everyone, to the point where nobody understands why Captain Wentworth would still be in love with her, or have fallen in love with her in the first place. Eight years before the plot starts, she broker her engagement to him because she was persuaded by a family friend that it was a bad idea. No way would movie!Anne have let herself be persuaded. They just tried to do a Fleabag/Emma type of thing without understanding what made either the novel or those two things work and thereby ruined it completely

Whoever made this didn't understand the point of the novel at all. They completely screwed up the character of Anne Elliot (the protagonist), which in turn screws the rest of the movie, as the original story only works because Anne is the way she is. Also, it's a period piece but the characters are talking in modern slang the entire time. And not in a clever way but in a very cringey one. If Jane Austen knew, she'd probably turn in her grave, and rightfully so.

Maximum Ride:

The storyline makes absolutely no sense, and the movie is nothing like the book. You could've given the movie an entirely different name and and keep the plot I wouldn't bat an eye

the movie's just bad mate

Horrendous low budget netflix movie with effects so bad they make me feel physically ill and acting so wooden the cast is in danger of being attacked by lumberjacks. The story already wasn't the best and the film somehow made it worst. I came in with nostalgia for my dear kids with bird wings and left never to be the same again.

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children:

While Miss Peregrine was one of my favorite books as a kid and incredibly unique in the way the story is written (The author basically took a box of weird antique photographs and created an underlying story behind a handful of them) the movie is incredibly boring. Like seriously I can't remember a single goddamn thing about the movie besides my extreme disappointment with it after leaving the theatres. It's probably because the original is a trilogy but they didn't want to make it a trilogy for the movie so they just scrapped the ending of the first book and rewrote a shitty climax where they threw snowballs at the nightmare child eating creatures or something. I remember THAT scene perfectly because it was so, so dumb. It was so stupid oh my God- ALSO, thank God I have a copy of the book from before the film came out because new copies don't have one of the photographs that the actual book uses as a base anymore and instead have the shitty movie poster! We truly do live in a society.

Changed way too much so it doesn't feel like the same thing. The main characters are these kids with different abilities (called peculiarities) and the movie switches around their powers and changes almost everyone's age. Emma and Olive switch powers so that Emma now floats (they also added that she can kind of control air to some extent) when she's supposed to have fire powers to match her fiery personality. Olive can make fire now and she's also aged up from an eight year old to a teenager and put her in this weird romance with Enoch. Enoch is also aged up from a grumpy thirteen year old to around the same age as Olive. Bronwyn, one of the older kids in the book and sort of a motherly figure to the younger kids, is now one of the youngest kids. Hugh and Fiona are aged down and basically have no interaction at all in the movie, even when their book counterparts had such a good relationship. The only one they didn't really change was Horace and Jacob. They also added these gorgon twins that do like two things. The antagonist in the movie is Mr. Barron who honestly isn't super memorable and isn't in the books whatsoever. The ending of the movie is weird too because they manage to turn back time somehow so Jacob's grandfather isn't dead and then he hops through loops so he can be with Emma and the other peculiars. I guess the problem of wights and hollowgasts is magically eliminated and we do not have to deal with the consequences. It took six books to fix everything. I appreciate that the movie engaged me enough to read the series but once I did, I could not believe they did my kids that dirty.

Yikes where to start. The 3 girl characters are all mixed up. There are 2 teens, one who's super strong and has a brother (I'll get back to him) and one who controls fire and is the love interest named Emma. The third girl is a child called Olive who floats. She's lighter than air.

In the movie, strong girl is the child, olive is now the fire girl and is for some reason super introverted, and Emma the love interest floats and gets given a super breath??? Power?? Like she rises a sunken ship by blowing in and keeps a man blown against a wall by blowing air at him. He makes a remark that she'll run out of breath eventually, which happens here because plot convenience, but not when she's blowing in the sunken ship.

The enemies in the book are terrifying Hollows. Creatures who have lost themselves and devour souls of those with powers... The movie decides they eat eyes now. And turn human again. And get busted up in a fair for the final act of the movie. Ugh.

The movie also decides randomly that time travelling through the loops is a thing; a loop being a pocket of time that replays the same day over and over. But apparently this means Main Character can travel back in time and stop his grandfather dying??? What?? His grandfathers death is the whole start of the movie and motivation for the character.

The movie undermines many of things that made the book amazing and even decides it's not a trilogy anymore!! Fuck the other 2 books, right?!

Tldr; it is terribly hollywood-ised and t tim Burton ruined a franchise by trying too hard to make it quirky and fun when the books already had a brilliant sombre and interesting tone to them.

[elacular-kink]

Poly-techhic 1

So, this is the first (and currently only) entry in a non-fanfic universe for hiccup fiction. It's about four polyamorous women in college who are all dating each other, all complete disasters, and one of whom has a hiccup fetish. This story does have some hiccups in it, but it's mostly dedicated to introducing the four main characters and their dynamics.

TW: Anxiety, Self-deprecation, big autism energy, accidental misgendering, religious trauma

Kinks: Honestly, mainly just hiccups. And not the most hiccups ever. Also Teasing I guess.

"*HIUK!* Oof! Oh fuck, I–*HUK* fuck, that was waaaa–*UCK*–aaaay spicer than I *HUK-UP!* thought it'd be!"

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Maya, I should have thought of that! Do you need water?"

"Nah, na–*UCK*–ah, I'm good! *HUK-ULP* Oof, I got my soda."

"And also it's not your fault," I managed to force a few words out of my mouth. Across the table from me, my girlfriend Maya was currently gulping down her soda at a truly horrifying speed while her date, Kiran, fretted over her, flapping her hands anxiously. "You tried to warn her it was too hot, but her dumb ass decided to eat it anyway."

"Oh fu–*UCK* fuck you, dude! *HIC-OLP–urp!* Fuck, 'scuse me–*HEEP*. You know that Li–*HIP* Liv's, like, ninety per–*UCK*–percent of my imp–*HUP*–pulse control!" Maya thumped her chest and let out a larger burp, which didn't help her hiccups, because of course it didn't. She knew perfectly well that it wouldn't. "And you're su–*HUP*–pposed to be the oth–*URK* ten percent, Su–*HOOP* Susie! *HIC–bwoorp* So really this is y–*HURP* your fault! *eeuuurrp* fuck, 'scuse me again. *HULP!* Shit, I think I re–*HEEP* really got the hiccups. *HIUP!* Oof!"

"No fucking kidding." I hoped that I could keep my voice as flat and unimpressed as possible. I also hoped that I would spontaneously develop telepathy so that I could yell at Maya from across the table just by glaring at her, but the world sadly continued being free of superpowers for now. Even if it had worked, I doubted it'd make the grin she kept sneaking me any less shit-eating.

Maya Heffernan was a beautiful fucking nightmare of a human being. She was five foot four with a mane of curly red hair that would have gone all the way down to her ass if she straightened it, which she never did. Her skin was more orange-brown freckles than it was its shockingly pale base, and she was built like a tank, her thighs, arms, and trunk all visibly loaded with muscle and fat. Her bright blue eyes looked even bigger than they actually were through the magnification of her glasses, and the rare times she was seen without a smile were only marginally more terrifying than the common times she did wear one.

Right next to her, currently still not getting that this wasn't in any way her fault, was Kiran Mandal, an over six-foot goddess of a trans woman with a soft, fat, feminine body, dark skin, long black hair, and brown eyes that were always desperately, worriedly flickering around. Her hands would flap in response to most strong emotions, no matter how hard she tried to stop them from doing so. It was really fucking cute.

And across the table there was me. Susanna Butler. Four foot ten. Adopted from China. Tannish skin and short, straight black hair. Swathed in a black hoodie and desperately trying to prevent my stupid girlfriend from eating this poor woman alive while she was actively in the process of torturing me.

Absent from this shitshow was my best friend Olivia, who would have made it so that there were two girlfriends to keep a leash on Maya instead of just one. Without her, this whole operation was basically fucked. And it was particularly fucked now that Maya had given herself the hiccups, because that meant that I was gonna have to continue refereeing this date with a large part of my brain turned off. Or turned on, as the case may be.

Perhaps this required some explaining.

Olivia and I had met Maya last year when she barged into our freshman dorm and demanded we join her for Women's Rugby practice. Olivia decided to go and dragged me along with her, where we found out that Maya was, in fact, just a sophomore and not one of the higher-ranking members of this team. Despite this, she'd managed to bring in the most freshman prospects by far, the vast majority of whom lasted less than a single practice. Those who remained mostly did so because they were already athletes, but a few stayed because they discovered that Maya was actually fucking half of the team.

"Solo Poly". That was what Maya said she was. Granted, this was after she used the more widely understood label of "the classic slutty pansexual polyamorous stereotype." While I still didn't really get it, the gist of what that meant to her seemed to be that Maya was sort of open to making out with and/or fucking just about anyone while still maintaining a bubble of personal autonomy. However, she was also open to having closer, more consistent connections (albeit without any expectations of monogamy or enforced cohabitation on anyone's part), which is what she ended up developing with Olivia and me.

And so now, a year later, I was somehow still on the Women's Rugby team despite consistently getting my shit wrecked, Olivia and Maya were still there because they were actually good at it, and this poor freshman goddess Kiran had been wrenched into a managerial position because Maya noticed that I had a crush on her and decided the correct way to "help" me with that was by starting to date Kiran herself and then dragging me into it too.

It seemed she'd also decided that it wasn't too soon for her to start getting my stupid fucking hiccup fetish involved. Olivia's blunt, autistic ass and Maya's drunken flirtations had resulted in her finding out about it within months of meeting me. Weirdly, I think it was part of what ended up attracting her to Olivia and me as more serious partners. I was honestly really grateful for that, even if I wasn't good at showing it. But I was also unbelievably fucking screwed every single goddamn day because she was not afraid to torment me, and apparently not afraid to do so when on a date with another person either.

"But se–*HEEK*–seriously Kiki," Maya just had to give everyone she was interested in (which was most people) a stupid fucking nickname, and Kiran clearly still wasn't used to hers. "Susie's right. *HMK!* It's super not y–*HUP* your fault that I'm *HLP* a total dumbass."

"Yeah, don't try and take responsibility for the shit she does. You'll be cleaning up her messes forever." Maya stuck her tongue out at me and I flipped her off. Kiran looked worriedly between the two of us, though she'd at least stopped flapping.

"I sti–*IC!* still really liked it though! *HIULP!*" Maya was grinning and I braced myself for whatever the fuck would come out of her mouth next. "Totally wo–*URK* worth getting the hi–*ICCUP*–s for! Even tho–*UCK*–ough they're bouncing my gut and my b–*HOOP* boobs all over the pl---place. Thank god for sp–*HUP* sports bras, am I right? *HICCULP!*" Aaand there it was. Maya deliberately leaned back away from the table, giving me (and Kiran, presumably) a much better view of the rounded belly and boobs compressed under her rugby shirt. Despite their compression, all those round parts were, in fact, bouncing all over the place. I took a deep breath through my nose and thought as hard as I could about baseball. "But see? This–*IC!* is why I just brou–*UCK* brought you to the *HUP* cafeteria for this date. *HMK!* I'd need, like, a–*UCK* all the adderall to *HMK* be on my best be–*HUK*–havior in an act---tual restaurant."

"Don't let her lie to you," I grumbled. "...I mean, she's right, she can't behave like a grown-ass adult, but we're mainly here for my cheap, scruffy-looking ass."

"I-I don't mind!" Kiran had understandably been distracted by whatever the fuck Maya was doing, but the little smile that she got on her face when she said that made my heart just fucking burst. Even though she was visibly still anxious, I couldn't doubt that she meant that when she said it. "I-it's very rare for me to have been in establishments like this, and I've been a bit too nervous to try many times on my own, so this is...this is nice."

We didn't exactly know each other very well yet, since we were only a month or two into the school year, but Kiran was obviously from a super wealthy family. I didn't know quite what tax bracket they were in, but I was positive that it was infinitely higher than mine. The fact that she sincerely wanted to experience things like a college cafeteria was ridiculously endearing to me.

...of course, that also begged the question of what the hell she was doing at this school instead of some Ivy League place, especially considering she was studying some kind of supercomputer-type shit, but hey, if that meant I got to meet her, I couldn't complain.

"You're g–*OCK*–goddamn right this is *ICCUP* nice, Kiki," Maya sat back up and slung an arm over her shoulder. Even if I had the bravery to try something like that with Kiran, I doubted I actually could, given our height differences. Which was a shame, because, from the way she was blushing and wriggling, it seemed like she liked it. "I got a cu–*HOOP* cute girl here, I g---got Susie out of h–*URK*–her dorm room...what e–*ULK*–else could a lady poss–*HIP*–bly need?"

"A psychiatric intervention?" Maya pulled down her eyelid and stuck her tongue out at me, and I couldn't help but snort.

"Um, maybe some water?" Kiran said gently? "I think it could help with your case of the hiccups."

God was I glad I kept my hood up all the fucking time. It'd be suspicious as fuck to hide in it in response to that. Since it was already on, my face was already shadowed, so hopefully no one would notice how the H-word made me blush. Fuckin' Maya.

Fuckin' Maya continued to be fuckin' Maya when she sat up straighter and snapped her fingers. "Right! *HIP!* Good idea!" Kiran started to get up, but Maya pushed her back down. "Nonono–*HOP*–nonono, you stay he–*EEK*–ere. I'm a big gal, I'll g–*UP*–get my own water." There was no way she was actually gonna drink any water. No fucking way. And now my introverted ass was stuck alone with the beautiful girl while half my brain was still trying to listen for hiccups. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"I...I hope that this isn't awkward or anything." Well, now I wanted to slap myself. Of course Kiran thought it was her fault. And from the look on her face, she wanted to slap herself too just for saying that. "I mean, I—I-I know that you and Maya are sort of...dating? But I've also gone on a date with her, and I'm still kind of on a date with her but she brought you here too and—"

"Hey, it's fine, dude." I realized what just came out of my mouth and actually slapped myself this time. "Fuck, sorry. I call everyone dude." Kiran looked away and didn't say anything. I sighed and continued. "It's fine, Kiran. I don't really get how Maya works either most of the time. But I don't mind her being with other people, and I don't mind being around her while she does that. It's honestly kind of cute."

Kiran looked uncertainly down at me. "Cute?" I briefly considered the benefits of sewing my mouth shut. 

Rather than vocalizing those thoughts, I sighed and leaned on one hand, wondering how stupid the massively oversized sleeves of my hoodie made that look. "Yeah. Maya's the kind of person to get stuff out of people. She brings things out that nobody expects. Puts 'em off their guard. It's kinda fun seeing people get all vulnerable with her." Kiran went back to avoiding eye contact in the normal way she did rather than in an anxious way. I folded my arms and slumped down into them, then blew my bangs out of my face. "Not so fucking fun when she does it to me, but I guess that's the price you gotta pay. Can't go out with a chaos agent and not expect some chaos."

"You are so–*HOK*–oooo right, Sus–*EEP!*" I turned to glare at Maya as she jogged back over, an empty cup in her hand. "Sorry, water did–*NKT*–n't work. Still got a se–*HEEK*–irous case of the *HIC-CUPS* here." That motherfucker. She did that on purpose. She did every bit of that on purpose.

"N-no need to be sorry, Maya." Kiran continued to be impossibly sweet. "It's not your fault that you have a case of the hiccups."

"Yes it is," I grumbled from where I was hiding my face in my arms.

"I mean yea–*UCK*, she's right, it kinda–*HUP* is." Well, at least she'd admit it. "Spicy and sod---da togeth–*HURK* are a hiccup nu–*HOOP*–uke for me. *HEEKUP!* You got an–*HEEP*–nything like that, Kik–*HEEK!*? Something that ma–*UCK* makes you hic-hic hi–*ILK*–cup as bad as *HMP* me?" Despite my years of churchgoing, God utterly failed to answer my prayers and smite Maya dead with a lightning bolt.

Kiran pursed her lips. She was genuinely thinking about that stupid question. God, she was so fucking cute. "I don't think so. Not off the top of my head." She looked at me before avoiding eye contact again, but that was normal for her. "What about you, Susan? Do you have any foods that trigger hiccups?"

"Nah." Thank fucking god for all of those theater summer camps and oration extracurriculars my mom forced me to do. "I've got Olivia. She does all my hiccuping for me." And thank fucking god that I'd retained enough from them to even get through the fucking word without stuttering. I'd definitely avoid it moving forward, though, no matter how awkwardly I'd have to phrase shit. I didn't trust myself to get through it twice.

"Oh yeah. *HMK* Liv gets the hiccups a-a–*UCK*–aaalllll the fucking time. *HIUP!* I'm pretty s---sure that Susie put some voo–*HOOP*–doo curse on her and a–*UC*–ctually transferred her hi–*IC*–cups over." Maya giggled and grinned like the fucking supervillain she was. "Somewh---where hidden away Su–*HOOP*–sie has a doll that l---looks just like Liv, and whenev–*URK*–er Susie'd get the–*HUP* the hiccups that doll starts bou–*UP*–b-bouncing and squeaking and stuff. *HMP!* Oof. That was a big one." Motherfucker.

"You want me to make a voodoo doll of your ass too, Maya?" I said. "You shed enough hair, I could definitely do it."

Maya laughed. "God, you're fucking ad---dorable, Susie." She reached over the table to muss my hair under my hood and I took a snap at her, trying to bite off her finger. Sadly, she continued to be some sort of sports demon while I continued to be short and angry, so she pulled away just fine. "Aren't I right Ki–*HEEK* Kiki? Isn't Susie fu–*UCK*–ing adorable?"

"A-aah!" Kiran sat bolt upright, and I could see her brown cheeks get even darker. "I—I, um! I just—"

"Chill, Kiran. I know there's no right answer here." I sat up and grabbed a bread roll from my half-eaten dinner and threw it at Maya's head. "And fuck you, Maya. Don't put people on the spot like that."

"Ugh," Maya rolled her eyes as she started eating the bread I'd pelted her with. "If I don't pu–*UK* put some people on the spot then---they'll never get up ont---to the spot themse–*UCK*–elves. Like you."

"Fuck the spot. I hate spots. Fuck all locations and every dog ever named 'Spot.'" Maya snorted and laughed, then half-choked on her bread. Good. Fuck her.

I just barely noticed that Kiran giggled too. That...that was way better than Maya getting her comeuppance. Way way better.

Kiran caught me looking at her. Fuck. She looked away rapidly. Fucking fuck. "I...I think I'll get up and get myself another drink." Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck. She walked off quickly and disappeared into the crowd. God fucking dammit.

"You're fu–*UCK*–ing welcome, Susi–*EEK*." I turned my glare towards Maya who was scowling performatively at me. "You are so---o lucky that you've got oo–*HOOP*–oodles of bad-boy charisma, or you'd nev–*URK* never get any girls."

"Have I ever told you you're going directly to hell?"

Her grin came back. "Awesome, I'll se–*HEEK* I'll see all my friends the–*URK*–ere! Especially yo–*HOUP*."

"Mmf. Got me on that one." I sighed and leaned against my hand again. "'Bad boy charisma' though? Don't bullshit me, Maya. I'm creeping her out. And I'm especially creeping her out thanks to you and your goddamn soda."

"Damn, what's it like *HUP* to be super wrong about everything? *HUKULP* Why do you thi–*IC*–ink you radiate this pe–*HUP*–ervy energy all the time? *HIULP* You don't. Is this some kind of we---eird catholic thing? 'Cause Li–*HUP* 'cause Liv isn't like this, she's norm–*MMP*–mal."

"Don't say that to her face, she'd be really offended." I squinted. "Also, aren't your ancestors Irish? Shouldn't you know if it's a catholic thing or not?"

"Bruh you think an---nyone was dumb enough to try and pu–*HUT* my ass in a church?"

"...got me there too."

"Look, your myst---sterious vibes are sexy, dude. Pe–*HEEP*–ople wonder where you a–*URK*–are whenever you're not around. Nobody kno–*HUK*–ows that you just play Mari–*OUP* Kart all day."

"You do and you're still fucking me."

"I mean yeah, but I'm spe–*UCK* special like that."

I huffed out a laugh. "Won't argue with you on that one. You are truly one of a kind, Heffernan. Thank god."

"Yeah, the wo–*URK*–orld couldn't handle two of me."

"Um, h-hello, girls. I'm back." I was surprised I hadn't seen or heard Kiran approaching us. For as gorgeously tall and fat as she was, she could be weirdly stealthy sometimes. She put two glasses of water down on the table, then held out a bread roll to me. "I, um, noticed you...lost your first one."

I snorted. "That's one way to put it. Thanks, Kiran. That's really sweet." She nodded rapidly and I started eating the roll that she'd got me. "You thirsty there?"

"Well, yes, but I also thought that maybe Maya could try drinking water again. It seems kind of dangerous, eating around all those hiccups."

God, she really was fucking sweet. What an angel. And just like an angel, she was also saving my ass. I smirked at Maya. "Well, May-May?" She glared at me, and I knew she hated that. "You're not gonna deny this water of life, are you? Haven't you watched that video about that one Robert Heinlein book with the sex cult? This is a sacred bond you're setting up here."

Maya glared more and huffed, and Kiran started flapping her hands nervously. "Um, you don't have to drink if you don't want to—"

"Nah, that'd be silly. *HMP* Not drinking a thing that a re---ally cute girl brought me? *HIUP* Fuck no." Maya took a first sip of water and I immediately knew I was saved. All it took was a little water and she and her goddamn hiccups would fuck the fuck off. "...shit, it worked this time!" She was good at acting like that was actually a surprise. If my legs could reach, I would have kicked her shins under the table. "Damn! Cute girl water really has some power! Thanks, Kiki!"

Maya hopped to her feet, and before Kiran knew what was happening, she'd stood on her toes and pressed a wet kiss to her cheek. A split-second later, Kiran squealed and hid her face in her hands. "Fuck, that's cute," I said, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Right, dude?" Maya smooched the hands Kiran was blocking her face with, getting another squeak out of her. "She's super blushy and shy! Kiki cured my hiccups, but I can't cure all those blushes she's got in her cheeks."

I rolled my eyes and used the opportunity of Kiran having her eyes covered to give Maya the finger. Maya returned one in kind. "Let the girl live, Heffernan. Sit down so she can recover." Despite the grouchy noises she made, Maya complied and sunk back into her seat. Kiran carefully, shakily returned to her own seat, folding her hands in her lap when she saw she was flapping them. "There you go, Kiran. Take a break from Hurricane Maya. You can chill for a minute." After a long moment of squirming and nervous noises, Kiran anxiously tilted to the side, then pressed a kiss as quickly as she could to Maya's cheek before pulling away. "Atta girl."

"Hell yeah, Kiki! Kiss the girl points!" Maya slapped her back and I wondered if I had imagined the popping vertebrae I heard. The noise Kiran made sounded more surprised than pained, so I wasn't too worried. "We'll graduate you to kissing girls' lips in no time, cutie!"

"Eh, what's the rush?" I said. "She may be some kind of genius, but she's still a freshman. She's got four years."

"I don't got four years, Susie! I only got two! And I wanna kiss this girl a lot!"

"You wanna kiss everyone a lot."

"I mean yeah, but her especially!" Maya pulled Kiran's hands away from her face. From the angle, I couldn't see Kiran's expression, but I could see Maya's. It was her other smile. Her soft one. Her warm one. The one she wore for me when we first got together. Damn. She really did want to kiss her especially. Not that I blamed her. "My emo-ass girlfriend is right though." I rolled my eyes, but with how soft her voice was, it felt pretty performative. "You've got time. You've got all the time in the world, Kiki. So kiss whatever girls wherever and whenever you like. I'd love it if one of them was me and one of the places was my lips. And I'd especially love it if the time was soon. But that's up to you." She pressed a kiss to the tip of Kiran's nose, then another to her forehead before letting her hands go and sitting down again. "God knows you'll be good at it, though. You've got super kissable lips." Kiran groaned and covered her face again.

The rest of dinner was relatively incident-free, as much as any meal with Maya could be. But I had a feeling she was planning some bullshit, and at the very end, I realized what it was. "Oh, shit! Just remembered I wanted to go to the gym today! Sorry, Kiki! Sorry, Susie! I gotta go pump my lats or some other muscles, I dunno what they're called." I didn't even get a chance to respond before she leaned down and kissed me on the lips, then popped up and smooched Kiran's cheek. "Bye, cuties!" And she was gone.

"...Somehow I keep forgetting how fast that bitch can move." I stared out into the mid-October dark that'd fallen. "You'd think I'd remember it better with how many times she's tackled me. Guess all those micro concussions are adding up." Kiran didn't say anything, and when I looked up at her, I saw that she was playing with her fingers. She was playing with her fingers in the desperate, uncomfortable way that told me she was doing everything she could not to flap. I'd gotten pretty good at reading autistic people thanks to Olivia. It wasn't one-to-one, but I'd noticed some commonalities, and I also thought I could make an educated guess as to what she was anxious about. "Hey. Kiran." She looked down at me, eyes wide, having flinched slightly at my voice. "Your off-campus place is a little way out from here, yeah?" She nodded. "You want me to walk with you there?"

"I—!" Her back straightened and she started actually flapping, not seeming to realize she was doing it. "I-I wouldn't want to impose or—"

"I'm offering 'cause I'm offering. And you can say no if you want." I shrugged. Hopefully she actually believed me when I said that. I realized after starting on this that I could come across as a creepy stalker.

"...no." Yeah, that made sense. She surprised me by grabbing my sleeve when I started to leave though. "N-no, I mean...I don't want to say no. I'd really appreciate it. If you walked with me."

God dammit. I was smiling like a fucking moron. I just knew I was. And now I'd have to thank Maya for ditching us. Fucking devious. "Alright. Let's get going then. I'll let you lead the way." As we started walking along the campus sidewalks (and Kiran studiously avoided unpaved desire paths carved into the grass), I noticed that she was rapidly rubbing her arms. Her short-sleeved dress had seemed a little off for the weather, now that I thought about it. "Hey. You okay?"

"O-oh, yes, I'm fine!" She tried to smile down at me. I could see goosebumps on her skin though. "I, um, I should have checked the weather report before leaving. That's absolutely my fault. I really need to—" Her voice stopped as I held out my hoodie to her. "...um?"

"It's zippable. It probably wouldn't be able to close over your chest, but you can wear it like a cape and keep your arms warm at least." She stared down at me and my hoodie and I sighed. "Come on, Kiran. Don't make me admit that I'm too short to put it on your shoulders."

"It's...it's yours though," she said softly.

"So? Why do you think I wear clothes two sizes too big? It's exactly for shit like this." As a matter of fact, it was actually because I insisted on not shopping in the kids' section and had to suffer the consequences, but it also happened to help with shit like this. And saying it that way sounded a lot cooler.

"Won't you be cold?"

"Nah." The wind was biting a little, but I shrugged. "I'm wearing jeans, so at least my ankles are toasty. You keep your upper half warm. I've got my lower half."

"Th...thank you, Susan." Kiran slowly took my jacket off of my arm and threw it over her shoulders. She definitely wouldn't be able to zip it, I'd been right about that, but having the dense, black fabric draped over her arms clearly helped. I smiled at her, then motioned for her to lead the way.

The first part of the walk was blessedly silent. Or awkwardly silent. I wasn't sure which. It wasn't raining right now, but it had previously, so the leaves were damp and pasted to the sidewalks. I tried to figure out in my head if I'd be able to catch and stabilize Kiran if she slipped on one of them, despite the answer obviously being "no". While I was trying to make the math math on that, though, my train of thought abruptly derailed with a "*HEEK!*" I turned way too fast and stared way too hard at Kiran, who had both hands over her mouth. She looked down at me and quickly closed her eyes. "I-I'm sorry, excuse me!"

"...'sfine." I just barely stopped myself from automatically adding "dude" to sound casual. "It's just a single."

"A single?" Fuck.

She'd pulled her hands away from her mouth and started walking again, so I kept walking with her, but I could feel her eyes on me. I kept my face turned away, pretty sure my cheeks were bright red, and I shrugged. "Like, just one. When you're friends with someone who h-hiccups like Olivia—" fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck "—you start having to classify shit. Get some fucking...phylums or something for them."

I heard her stifle a giggle, and my brain started being slightly less on fire. It still desperately drooled for one of those giggles to set off another hiccup though. God dammit. "Phyla. I see. That makes sense. Hiccup taxonomy." We kept walking and I kept thanking god for the cold because that was the only thing keeping my head from exploding. "You've been Olivia's friend for a long time, right?"

"Eh, yes and no. I mean yes, we were friends all through high school."

When I glanced back at her, she tilted her head. "I thought she said at some point that you met in preschool."

"We did, yeah. But then she went to public school and I stayed in catholic school. Fuck those little skirts, by the way. Never wearing a fucking skirt again. Not if I can help it. But, uh, I think that she thinks all those years in between didn't count or something, 'cause she just tried to pick right back up where we left off when I met her again. It was kinda awkward, but Olivia's super perceptive, and she was able to tell I actually did want to be friends." She was able to tell a lot of complicated things. I owed a whole lot to her and her ability to hear the words people weren't saying. And her openness. And her bluntness. And her everything. Goddamn, I owed her so much.

"...I'm a bit envious of her for that." I looked up and she met my eyes, then darted away and started flapping anxiously. "F-for her ability to understand people like that! N-not for her knowing you in high school or preschool. Um, n-not that I would have minded, of course! B-but it's probably not an appropriate thing to—"

"Chill, Kiran. Take a breath. You're fine." I took a deep breath to demonstrate, and after a second she nodded and followed along. "I get it. I'm jealous too. I dunno if I'm as perceptive as she is, but I definitely can't just...say shit the way she can."

"You can't?" She sounded surprised. "But you're so ru—...uh!"

I laughed. "Rude? Ruthless? Ruminating openly on ways to kill Maya? I mean, yeah, I can say all that mean shit. And I can tell people exactly what they can go and do with themselves. I'm really good at that. But saying stuff I actually want to say? Nah. Not unless I wrap it in seven or eight layers of irony first."

Kiran looked away in a different way from her normal avoiding eye contact. "...is there a way that I can tell?"

"Hm?"

"A way I can tell. When you're saying something ironically."

I frowned. "I dunno. I guess you could ask me...if you feel comfortable doing that." The way she shrunk in on herself told me she didn't. "...I'm not walking you home ironically, just for the record. Don't even know how I could do that. But I'm doing it 'cause I want to." I bit the inside of my lip and tried to force words out of my fucking face. "I'm doing it 'cause I...know that it sucks when Maya leaves you in the lurch." Dammit dammit dammit!

"Ah." She sounded...disappointed. God fucking dammit.

"...and 'cause I have fun talking to you." Fuck. Okay. Apparently, that was emotionally neutral enough for me to fucking say it. I still felt like I was going to explode though.

The feeling got worse when I felt her eyes weighing down on me. "You do? I..." she laughed softly, and when I sensed her turn away, I looked up and saw a sad smile on her face as she picked at her nails. "I've been told that I'm not much of a conversationalist. I either say too little or I monopolize everyone's time."

Oof. Yeah. I'd heard Olivia talk about struggling with that before too. That gave me a little knowledge of what to do though. "Well, I don't mind not talking. And it's not like I use any of my time wisely. So whichever way it swings, I'm fine with it."

"You are?" 

She was looking somewhere to my left, but I knew I was in her peripheral. So I smiled. "Yeah. And if I'm ever not, I'll let you know. You've seen me with Maya, you know that if someone's annoying me I'm gonna tell 'em about it. 'Cause I'm not much of a conversationalist either. I use words like a serial killer uses upholstering equipment: incorrectly and with malice." Kiran let out a shocked laugh, then quickly covered her mouth. I chuckled.

God, she was so fucking cute.

We'd reached the house that she was staying at. I wondered why she was staying off-campus as a freshman. Was it for privacy? She was openly trans, but having a roommate might have still been awkward. I didn't get much more time to think about it as Kiran surprised me by draping my hoodie back over my shoulders. It was so much warmer from her. "Um, th...thank you for walking me home, Susan. I..." Her hands were flapping again. "I enjoy talking with you too, goodnight!" She spat all the words out in less than a second, then ducked through the door and slammed it behind her.

I just barely managed to keep myself from laughing. Laughing at that would be such a dickhead move, but...fuck. Instead, I zipped my hoodie back up, basking in how warm the body of it felt as I pulled out my phone and started walking back to the campus.

Susie Q(ueer): Date's done. Think I'll stop by the music hall before I head back though.

Olivia E. Jones: Mind if I join you? I'm at a 4 right now.

Susie Q(ueer): Pff. After what Maya did to me a four's fucking nothing.

Olivia E. Jones: I don't think that's how your thing actually works.

Susie Q(ueer): I think I'd know better than you about my own fetish.

Olivia E. Jones: Are we actually using the words now?

Susie Q(ueer): Fuck!

I quickly edited the message above, replacing "fetish" with "brain".

Susie Q(ueer): No! No, we are definitely not using the words now! Fuck, thanks for catching that.

Olivia E. Jones: I still think this is stupid.

Susie Q(ueer): I know. And I still owe you for doing it anyway.

Olivia E. Jones: Maya's going to break you down at some point. And then we can finally use words that actually mean what words mean instead of inventing some kind of dumb thieves' cant for only two people.

Susie Q(ueer): The terrifying thing is that you might be right.

Olivia E. Jones: I'm always right. I'll bring your guitar.

Susie Q(ueer): Thanks.

When I reached the music hall, Olivia was already there waiting for me. She was noodling with my guitar, and I was very happy to hear that she hadn't tried to tune or detune it and was just playing random notes instead. Olivia was tall and thin with very dark skin, and she kept her tightly coiled black hair just a little too long to be called a buzz cut. She glanced up at me when I walked in, her reading glasses hanging from a chain around her neck like she was some kind of librarian. Even after three years of her having them, I still wasn't used to it. "Hey Su---sanna. You look happy. *mmp*."

"Do I?" I touched my face. My mouth didn't feel like it was smiling.

"You look hap---py to me."

"Yeah, well you're psychic, so that doesn't count." I walked over and stole my guitar back, tuning it.

...that left her stomach covered by nothing but her long-sleeved turtleneck. It jolted out hard, and I was close enough to hear the thump in her chest. I blushed. That was okay though. Around Olivia, it was okay to blush.

I still tried not to stare though. "Anyway, you got any requests?"

"Something by Ta---Taylor Swift."

I groaned. "Ugh, why is my best friend such a basic bitch?"

"We can't all be c---cool enough to listen to ban---nds with names like...*hmp* Phallic Cymbal or...*hmp* Üümläüt."

"Love how you waited to make sure you didn't interrupt the names." I glanced at her. "Hey, you don't need to hold those in if you don't want to."

"I'm not, they're juh---just like this tod---day."

"Okay. Cool. Now let me figure out a song that's not about young love or new relationships or some heterosexual bullshit like that."

"Don't pre---pretend that you don't know ho---ow to play them already."

I sighed and put my guitar down, moving over to the piano bench instead. "Yeah yeah, call my bluff, why don't you. Here. Have a sad song about people who suck at relationships."

"Isn't that---also heteros---sexual bullshit?"

"Yeah, but at least it'll make you feel bad." I lifted my hands over the keyboard, then gawked as Olivia hopped up onto the instrument's closed lid. "Hey. Darla Dimple. Wanna get your butt off my piano?"

"It's not y---your piano." She pulled her legs up.

"Oh come the fu—at least don't put your shoes on it, christ." She paused and removed her sneakers, dropping them beside the piano before crossing her legs in just socks. "...yeah, walked into that one, I guess. Seriously, what the hell are you doing?"

Olivia maneuvered herself until she was facing me. She sat mostly straight, so I could see the way each hiccup made her belly punch out, her chest jump, her shoulders rock, and her head snap back. "You ne---need to get better at be---ing distracted while you play."

"Oh fuck off," I glared at her.

She shrugged. "You can't m---make me."

After a long moment, I sighed and started playing the goddamn Taylor Swift song. "Yeah. I can't. Lots of stuff I can't get rid of lately." Olivia, Maya...

But somehow I found myself hoping I'd get even more.

[rorywritesjunk]

Down in the dark where the waves won't go, I'm bound to find my way.

Sunny and Buggy disagree over the next steps of their life together leading to them spending time apart.

Rating: PG-13 to be safe for swearing and arguing. Warning: Each chapter will have a specific warning. This chapter focuses on Sunny and Buggy with bonus Shanks and Rayleigh. Sunny ends up gushing a bit about her husband, kid Buggy gets upset, and Shanks eats his weight in beignets. Word Count: 2,588 A/N: The direct sequel to "No locked upon land...", the fic that started it all. I do not use "You" in this as now that Sunny is an established OC I decided not to go that route. This will be several chapters. Originally (lol) it was just two parts but... but I had to expand but I don't expect it to go much longer than the original fic. It's a few chapters longer than the original fic.

Title comes from "Sailing Song" by S.J. Tucker

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 + Chapter 10 + Epilogue Taglist: @hey-august @lostfirefly @ane5e

Chapter 6

Rayleigh was amazed how Sunny managed to handle directing both Buggy and Shanks in the kitchen. She made him and Roger wait for breakfast as the boys wanted to cook up a feast for the two of them with Sunny's help and well, she was managing to do it while favoring one foot. 

She put Shanks in charge of the eggs and bacon while Buggy handled coffee and toast. Sunny stood between the two to prevent arguments as she already explained to them how important it was to be safe in the kitchen. If they even began to bicker then both of them would be dismissed and she would make breakfast herself without help.

Neither of them wanted that so they were on their Best Behavior for Sunny.

Rayleigh wondered if they could recruit her for the ship. He'd never seen the boys go so long without arguing before.

She checked the eggs and bacon that Shanks was watching before giving him the next instructions. Once Buggy had the coffee poured and toast ready, she put him to task with pancakes. It was kind of nice not having to do a single thing but watch the two. They seemed eager to spend time with her and she was okay with that. The two of them were sweet.

Once everything was ready, she helped the boys plate the foot before directing them to the table. She limped after them before taking a seat at the table.

“Enjoy! The boys worked very hard on this meal for us.” She said with a smile as the boys beamed at the praise. “Once we're done we'll clean up as well, and later today maybe make some beignets for fun.”

The boys had no idea what beignets were, but if Sunny thought it would be fun then they'd want to help. 

~

The jacket wasn't ready yet. An apprentice came to the ship to break the news. Sunny recognized the girl as someone who had been finishing up her apprenticeship when Sunny joined, but she didn't say anything. She shouldn't really go around saying she was from the future, but it was hard when Buggy made it clear who she was when they all first met the day before.

Instead she was made to sit back and rest while the boys did their chores. She was given a seat on the deck so she could be outside while she propped her foot up. There was a bruise and it was uncomfortable to walk, but she would be fine. Buggy kept coming to check on her to make sure she was okay, but after a member of the crew teased him about it he didn't come around for a bit.

If Rayleigh didn't show up when he did to bark orders at the man, Sunny was pretty sure her fists would have needed icing. 

“Do they all really tease the boys like that?” She asked him as he stood beside her. “I just… don't get it.”

“It's just the way it is on here.” Rayleigh shrugged. “They don't mean any harm, but Buggy just takes it far too personally sometimes which creates a bigger issue.”

“Maybe they need to stop and think before making their dumb jokes.” Sunny sighed. “I've known my husband for over 10 years and he still is sensitive to that sort of thing. It sticks with you, you know?”

“I have to say, when Buggy announced who you were, it was surprising.” Rayleigh told her. She looked up at him and frowned. “I know he's young now, but he isn't someone I thought would want to get married.”

“Well, it was all him.” She replied. “It happened so fast. He was a customer of mine at a shop I worked at, we became friends, but he's kind of that… love at first sight type. He was very… Buggy about everything, from dating me to proposing, it was very sweet.” She smiled softly as she leaned back in her seat. “He gets so passionate about things and has a blind stubbornness about him when he knows what he wants. I cared about him but I wasn't really in love with him until he was doing little things to show me he cared, and I saw someone who needed to be taken care of and he let me, so that's kind of why I fell for him.” She paused and looked up at Rayleigh, her cheeks pink as she realized she rambled on. “I shouldn't be saying all of this.”

“No, no, it's sweet.” Rayleigh chuckled. “Buggy deserves someone like you in his life.”

She went quiet, watching the two boys sweep and clean up the deck. They had yet to argue once this morning which Sunny was pleased by, though she knew it could still happen. Buggy kept glancing over in her direction and she smiled at him which seemed to help his mood a bit. He looked rather grumpy from being teased, but since Sunny wasn't doing anything other than look over at him, it seemed to help him relax.

~

The boys brought lunch out to her outside. It was kind of nice to be waited on. Usually she was the one bringing food to her husband but the boys insisted on bringing it to her. Buggy carried a plate of food while Shanks had a drink for her.

“I could get used to this.” She chuckled as she took the items from them. “Thank you, boys.”

“See? You should stay and then we can do this all the time.” Buggy told her with a smug look. “I'd take good care of you.”

“I know, honey.” She smiled. “But you still got pirating to do before anything else, okay, so we aren't changing your path. I'm only here for a little bit, remember?”

He huffed softly, looking a bit defeated. “I know.”

“Can we still make bennies today?” Shanks asked. Sunny took a moment to figure out what he was asking.

“Oh! Yes, if you two are done with your chores for now, we can make beignets.” Sunny told them. “Can both of you check with the cook to make sure we have all of the ingredients first?”

~

Sunny had to warn them again about not arguing while they were in the kitchen for everyone's safety and she was pleased they listened for a second time around. For a little bit.

Dealing with oil to fry up the beignets was the most dangerous part and even after explaining the best way to put the flat pieces of dough in the hot pan, the two argued about who was doing it wrong and Sunny immediately kicked them out of the kitchen.

Shanks wasn't too bothered but Buggy was upset. While the red haired boy waited outside the kitchen hoping to at least eat a beignet, Buggy went elsewhere on the ship to sulk. She opened the door to the kitchen when she was done, expecting to find the two boys, but she was surprised to just see Shanks.

“Where's Buggy?” She asked as she held a plate of the powdered treats. The boy shrugged and took two for himself.

“He went off somewhere.” He replied as he started to eat. “Don't know where.”

She sighed and wondered if she needed to go looking for him. She needed to get off her feet for a little bit but she was worried for him. She gave Shanks another treat before she went to go find Buggy.

It only took her fifteen minutes. He was down in the crew’s quarters on his cot, glaring up at the ceiling with tears in his eyes. 

“There you are! You need to eat these while they're fresh.” She told him as she went over to him. He turned over so his back was to her. She wasn't too bothered by that. “C’mon, Shanks already had three.”

“Aren’t you mad at me?” He mumbled as she sat on the edge of the cot and helped herself to a treat. “You said not to argue in the kitchen and I did.”

“Yea, well, you made a mistake knowing the consequences.” She told him. “I told you both what would happen if you started arguing in the kitchen around me, and since the two of you decided to do so, I had made you both leave. It’s all about safety, you know, the kitchen isn’t always safe.” She finished off the beignet, licking the powdered sugar off her fingers. “I’m not mad at you, Buggy. A little disappointed, yes, but I’m not mad.”

He rolled back over to look at her with tears in his eyes. “You’re disappointed?!”

“Wha- I mean, not now? Earlier, yes, for a few moments, but I was disappointed in the two of you, not just you.” She told him. She shouldn’t have been surprised by his reaction but it caught her off guard. “It’s okay, Buggy, because even as an adult it will happen. It’s a very normal thing to do, it doesn’t change anything.”

“But-But I tried to be good, but it’s-it’s hard because I want to be the best but then Shanks or someone says I’m doing it wrong when I’m not and I don’t want you disappointed in me!” He sobbed as Sunny helped herself to another beignet before holding one out to him. He took it from her, sniffling loudly as he held it in his hands, not ready to eat just yet. “I’m so-sorry, I don’t want you to be mad at me!”

“Buggy, honey, I’m not mad.” She assured him as she set the plate down and scooted closer to him, being mindful not to leave sugary fingerprints everywhere. “I promise I’m not mad. Like I said, I was a little disappointed but I was never mad at the two of you.”

“I don’t want you to hate me!” He cried. Oof, this was a little too close to home. There were times when Buggy would have too much to drink and get sad-drunk, sobbing in her arms about the littlest things and how he didn’t want her to hate him because he forgot to wash a plate properly or he didn’t make the bed like she asked that morning. He would beg her not to hate him for messing up and he didn’t want her leaving him for some other better looking pirate.

She rubbed his back as he clung to her, crying in her arms as she tried to think of what to say. Maybe she’d just let him cry it out to get it out of his system, maybe just use gentle reassurance that she did care for the boy and that she didn’t hate him, but for now she just let him cry. The plate of beignets was forgotten about.

~

Buggy calmed down after a while. He asked to hold Sunny’s hand as they returned to the deck and she allowed him. A few of the men started to tease Buggy but he chose to ignore them, scowling as he led Sunny back to the kitchen to help Shanks clean up. He had Sunny sit down and wait while he and Shanks finished off the beignets and cleaned up. She wondered if either of them would want dinner later after stuffing themselves with sugar.

Thankfully the boys got along while cleaning and she didn’t have to kick either of them out. Rayleigh came to check on the boys later, pleased to see them getting along once more. He looked over at Sunny as she sat back with her foot propped up once more while she sipped a cup of tea.

“What’s your secret?” He asked. “To keeping them quiet for longer than fifteen minutes?”

Sunny shrugged. “Buggy just doesn’t want me to be disappointed in him, that’s all. Shanks just goes along with whatever I ask but Buggy is the one who wants to be good.”

“Huh.” 

“Yep.”

~

When bedtime rolled around, Sunny was back on the cot in the captain’s room. He wasn’t there yet, doing nightly rounds to check on the crew and the ship. This was one of the few times Sunny had been by herself all day. If Buggy and Shanks weren’t with her, then Rayleigh or Roger were checking in on their guest. Some of the crew came to check her out, literally, asking if she wanted a proper tour of the ship to see some of the more secretive places. She turned them down, thankful as well that Rayleigh was nearby to hear some of that. She never saw grown men scatter so fast. 

Spending time with the boys was… tiring for her, but in a good way. Sunny was finding herself starting to miss her husband at times whenever she’d have to comfort Buggy. It was no different than comforting him as an adult, just less alcohol was involved. One part of her was relieved to have distance from her husband. She… she felt it was needed. She was still thinking things over, such as still wanting kids but at what cost? Her husband was stubborn. If he didn’t want to do something then he wouldn’t do it, so if he really did not want kids…

She wiped the tears forming in the corner of her eyes and cleared her throat. No, no, she wasn’t going to start crying. It just was hard. She found herself wanting to be a mom finally and she really wanted Buggy to be a dad. In her mind she thought he’d be wonderful at it. He had always been good with her little cousins whenever they’d visit her family, and often he’d be the first to end up with a baby being shoved in his arms even without asking. He didn’t usually freak out too much, just accepted he’d be carrying around a baby while entertaining the younger kids with his Chop Chop abilities. 

She sniffed and rubbed her eyes. Was she being unfair dropping this request on him? It wasn’t anything they really talked about much lately, but the fact he did mention it a few weeks ago in passing sparked something in her. She couldn’t help but feel warm and fuzzy when she thought of her husband holding their child, one she hoped would look just like him, from the hair to his nose to matching scowls. 

Maybe they just needed to revisit it and talk it out. 

“Sunny?”

She hastily wiped her eyes and cleared her throat before sitting up. Buggy was in the doorway in his pajamas, looking at her with concern. She smiled at the boy, hoping he didn’t hear her.

“Hey, honey, are you okay?” She asked. He shrugged a bit and she opened her arms for him. He hurried over to her, crawling into her lap as she wrapped her arms around him. “Have you been asleep yet?”

Buggy shook his head as he leaned into her. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Honey, I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” She insisted. 

“You seem sad.” He told her. She forced herself to laugh and smile.

“I’m fine, really, don’t worry, okay?” She assured him as she hugged him. 

He frowned at her. He didn’t believe her but he didn’t want her to get mad if he kept pressing the issue. He just leaned into her and closed his eyes, wondering if she’d let him stay with her again for the night. He found he slept a little better when she was around.