#just feeling a lil wack lately

[earlysunshines]

in a moment you and i

kim minji x fem!reader ; angst, fluff

synopsis: minji has two side hustles, one of them is swinging around the city and saving people and the other is admiring you from afar. little does she know, you’re also admiring her -- not that you're aware of it.

warnings: minji is spiderwoman!! and really just a nerd under that suit ; a very pretty, oblivious, adorable nerd ; blood and violence ; pining, slowburn kinda ; ending is a lil rushed and pacing is wack imo (sooory) ; wtv else i didn’t mention

a/n: i think its funny how she's mj (minji) but spiderwoman in this anyways I kekeke lmao lol ijbol thinking ab her in those fuckass (adorable beautiful amazing lovely cute) black frames,,,

kim minji might just be one of the smartest students in her class — she’s also the sleepiest one these days.

she is two seconds away from falling asleep in class because some people can’t seem to go a second without breaking the law, and the only web-slinging person who can stop them is her.

why would anyone break into ador labs at two in the morning on a weekday? because of this, minji had to spring out of bed in the dead of night, battling a gang of thieves for nearly two exhausting hours. by the time she had webbed them to the wall, called the police, and swung back home, she only had three hours before she had to be up again.

she even got pestered by hanni for taking so long while she waited outside the house. the younger girl had to wait a few extra minutes because minji had woken up late, it’s not like she wanted to lose a few hours of sleep. when she explained to hanni why she had applied concealer on the walk to school (hanni had been the first to know about everything going on with her and why her hands were sticking to everything the day after her little spider incident), the younger girl nodded and relented.

minji’s eyelids grow heavier with each blink, and soon enough they don’t open again as she falls asleep on her palm. minji’s already caught up with this unit, it won’t hurt to sleep a bit anyway – just a few minutes.

a few minutes fades into twenty and her head falls to her forearm in the middle of her nap.

“right, that wraps up class for today everyone. chapter thirteen is your homework, we’ll have a small quiz next class on it.” mr. lee says right as the bell rings. he looks over to minji, sighing as everyone starts to pack their bags. “and someone please wake up minji.”

no one seems to hear him, no one but you.

you catch minji near the window in the second row from the front. her hair falls over her face and only her nose pokes out, but you can see a little bit of her eye from where you’re standing. the empty seat hints that danielle isn’t here today, usually she’d be the one to wake minji up.

“hey, i’ll catch up with you later, okay?” you say to jungwon, who smiles and nods before rushing out the class. 

mr. lee doesn’t seem to notice minji, too absorbed in something on his laptop and the papers scattered across his desk. you walk over and tap her once—no response. you try again, with the same result. finally, you lightly grip her shoulder and give her a gentle shake to wake her up.

"huh, what? danielle?" minji mumbles, sitting up and blinking slowly. she turns over, eyes still closed, and fixes her hair. when she finally opens her eyes again, she’s surprised to see you. her eyes widen slightly, and she feels a surge of nervousness. "oh, y/n."

“morning!” you grin, then point to the papers and folder on her desk. “you need help with those? the bell just rang.”

“did it?”

“yeah, a minute ago.”

minji sighs, fixing the black glasses she has on her face. you look at her, still, with a smile on your face and raised brows. 

“i don’t need help, you should get to class.”

“you sure? please, i insist.”

“i–” minji wonders if she’s still dreaming, the l/n y/n is offering her help and smiling at her – kim minji. 

ever since you two were first paired for a small project in eighth-grade science, she’s always felt giddy near you. in minji’s mind, you’re some angel from heaven. she has you on an imaginary pedestal that towers above the tallest buildings in the city. you’re on the tennis team, you volunteer, you’re smart, you’re in student government, and you’re so gorgeous that minji can’t think straight around you. 

unfortunately for her, half the school feels the same way, making you an unattainable fantasy. still, minji admires you from afar, blushing at the mere mention of your name and gushing about you to her friends, who never miss an opportunity to tease her about her obvious crush.

“um, yeah, thanks.” minji mutters, gulping as you begin to put her papers in a stack and place them in her folder neatly.

“danielle isn’t here today, is that right?”

“u-um, no.”

“aw, that’s a shame.”

minji tries her best to stay sane in your presence, putting all her attention on the psychology textbook that she’s shoving in her bag. “mhm.” 

you hand minji her blue folder adorned with various stickers she’s collected and she takes it nervously. you smile one more time, placing a hand on her shoulder and she think she might blow up. 

“you should get more sleep.”

“yeah, definitely.” 

“i’ll see you around, bye minji.” you wave your hand and turn to leave, minji’s lips part as she stays stuck in place, trying to regain her composure.

–

“dude, you have like– three classes with her. are you ever going to make a move or…?” 

hanni’s voice is small and faint as she looks at you from across the lobby. the bell has just rung, and everyone is free to leave, but hanni and minji always wait for their two underclassmen they’ve basically adopted to hang out after school.

“hm?”

the younger girl groans, “c’mon, we’re seniors! just stop thinking and go do something! you’ve liked her for years.”

“she’s probably not even gay! she’s always with jungwon…”

“they look like friends to me.” hanni crosses her arms and looks over at you. you’re in a little group with jimin, ningning, and wonyoung, conversing with them and giggling here and there. “she’s not even with jungwon right now.”

“that’s– oh my god, be real.” minji sighs, then turns away to look at hanni dead in the eye. “i unironically take pictures for the yearbook and am in the book club. i don’t know, i’m not eye catching or known or fucking drool worthy.”

“girl, change that then!”

hyein and haerin walk over to the upperclassmen to see them bickering again. hyein butts in, stepping into minji’s personal space. “what’s the argument this time?”

“minji’s lovergirl.”

“ahhh, i’ll pay you ten dollars if you ask her out.”

“i’m not taking your money hyein.” minji pinches the bridge of her nose, then starts to trudge away. “let’s go, it doesn’t matter. i’m hungry and i have less than an hour before i need to start editing the layout for the yearbook.”

the group starts to walk out the entrance, but not before minji gets teased and grilled again. little does minji know, you’re glancing at her the whole time. your eyes follow her as she rolls her eyes and playfully punches hanni in the shoulder. for some reason, the corners of your lips turn up in a smile.

–

a few days later, minji finds herself battling an idiot who decided to scale the side of the ador building. civilians are screaming, and some are injured, but minji swiftly moves them to safety. 

the culprits wield various weapons, forcing minji to dodge bricks left and right. pieces of debris fly at her, nearly hitting her limbs, and she ends up with a small cut on her cheekbone. 

she manages to fend off two of the three culprits, webbing them against a broken wall while dealing with the last one. this guy has good aim and manages to throw a huge piece of the building at her leg, making her wince in pain.

shit, that’s going to bruise. 

minji grunts as she catches the piece of the building that had hit her – mid air with her web – and flings it back at the man, hitting him right in the torso and knocking him out. 

she slings her web toward the building and leaps, sticking herself to the wall. she takes a few moments to recover, pressing a finger to her face and feeling the blood trickle from the small cut. minji sighs, wiping her face before webbing the criminals together in a way that will make the police's job easier.

(even if they’re not very fond with spiderwoman.)

minji has a sharp sense of awareness; her reflexes and attention to the smallest details give her a kind of sixth sense. still, she doesn’t notice you observing the whole scene from afar.

you had been in the building next door for tennis practice but immediately stopped when you heard the commotion. seeing the vigilante in blue made your jaw drop and your eyes shine with admiration. the way spiderwoman handled the situation left you more than just amazed. you found it incredibly intriguing how she could swing around and fight so fluidly.

“woah.” you say in awe, eyes following spiderwoman as she swings away.

“you’re obsessed with her,” jungwon sighs, “but holy shit that was crazy.”

“she’s so cool.”

“doesn’t your dad… hate her?” he questions, making you bite your lip.

your dad was one of the higher-ranking officers in the police force, so everything spiderwoman did reached you through him—just in a more negative light. he’d complain about the “messes” and “damage” she left behind, and you had to hold yourself back from defending her. you found spiderwoman endearing, considering she put her life on the line and was probably a normal person with responsibilities and things to do, yet she took the time to protect others.

of course, your father had the same goals: protecting the city, safeguarding the people, and creating a safer community. he did his best to achieve this, often catching criminals with his impressive skills, but his idea of fighting crime never really aligned with spiderwoman’s methods. you seemed to favor spiderwoman’s actions a little more, considering you’d put much more threatening people down and your dad was always holding some grudge. he’s just too stubborn to understand, really.

“it’s whatever, i mean, can he do that?”

“okay but he’s a cop y/n. spiderwoman is literally some unknown person with powers that could harm others if she decides to go rogue.”

“why do you always think about the bad?” you groan, then return to the court. you grab a tennis ball, bouncing it up and down before catching it. “she’s doing a lot, all she’s done is help the cops ever since she’s been public to the eye. it’s not her fault journalists are trying to shame her. you sound like my dad… gross.”

jungwon scoffs amusingly, “if your dad knew how you really felt… i’d love to watch that unfold.”

“shut up, why are you invested in my dad’s beef with spiderwoman and not getting a boyfriend.”

“and when are you going to stop fangirling over a masked woman that can shoot webs out her wrist.”

you throw the tennis ball in your hand up, then swing aggressively, catching jungwon off guard and making him jump to the side. he looks at you with a confused expression, you simply shake your head.

“let a girl do what she wants.”

-

minji shows up to school sore and there’s a bandage on her cheek from the night before. she groans as she sits next to hanni in their english class, leaning against her for support.

“dude, what the hell is up with you.”

“a piece of building and fighting for half an hour that’s what.”

“oh.” hanni hums, “sorry to hear.” 

“it’s your fault.”

“hey!” hanni frowns.

hanni is one to experiment, and a month ago her victim had been a spider. she had tested various methods of enhancing the spiders abilities and modifying its dna to create an adhesive for the science fair, and unfortunately for minji, the spider had escaped and bit her. minji simply wanted to find a few beakers for her own experiment, the last thing she expected was a spider biting her hand and the next day she didn’t need glasses, her body was toned, she could lift her bed up with a hand — and the worst surprise was her fingers were sticking to everything she picked up.

“well, if you had been more careful…”

“don’t turn this around.” minji sighs, closing her eyes and trying to rest a bit.

her eyes are still closed when she hears a familiar voice that makes her heart flutter, opening them when you start to converse with wonyoung.

“my mom works at ador, i can’t believe spiderwoman had saved her…” wonyoung says.

“really? she did?” you look at her, itching for more details.

“yeah, she almost fell to the ground and spiderwoman saved her.” she repeats.

“wow… im glad she’s okay! oh my gosh, your mom is so lucky, im glad spiderwoman was there.”

minji turns to look at you, fighting back a smile. she is?

“i’d love to be saved by spiderwoman, she seems so cool… like, imagine willingly saving people and whatnot. she must be such great person, right?”

you watch wonyoung shrug, then sit down at her desk. you sit down next to her and she starts to take her folder out her bag before adding, “i mean, probably. she saved my mom, she’s a hero in my eyes.”

“she’s so cool…” you sigh dreamily, minji can’t believe it. “the way she fights is like, oh my god, so sick. i can’t believe she’s real, she’s out of this world.”

you, y/n, are talking highly of spiderwoman. that basically means you’re gushing about her, right? minji blinks three times, fully waking up after the third, and smiles to herself. 

wonyoung snickers, “sounds like you have a crush on spiderwoman.”

“stop that! she’s just… ugh.” you roll your eyes and nudge wonyoung. “she’s so admirable, i wish more people would see her as a hero, you know? she’s only done good so far, all the damage and stuff like that only happened because of the people she fought.”

minji might die – her heart feels like it's about to burst. you're on the same wavelength as her, defending spiderwoman, and you admire her too. the way you smile while talking about her alter ego makes minji feel giddy inside. hanni notices, rolls her eyes, and sets her head down on the desk, trying to catch a few extra minutes of sleep while minji revels in the feeling of being in love. hanni might barf.

wonyoung smiles at you, raising her brows. “you’re a fan.”

“maybe.” you admit, looking at the board in front of you. “she’s so cool, that’s all.”

–

minji’s sat outside in the courtyard looking through the pictures she had taken for the archery team. there’s a variety of shots that capture their activities, highlighting their form and bullseyes, and there are a few group pictures in the mix as well.

her eyes are squinting as she looks through them, so focused on the photos that she doesn’t notice someone calling her name.

"hey, minji," you call out, but she’s still hunched over, intently focused on her camera. you walk over, and she doesn’t notice you, too absorbed in adjusting the settings. gently, you grab the front of her cap and turn it around, making it sit backward on her head. startled, she looks up from the camera in her hand to see you. "hi," you greet again, a smile spreading across your lips.

minji’s cheeks flush. “hi, hey. did you need something?”

“yeah, i just wanted to ask a favor.” 

“oh, of course, what was it?”

you sit down next to her and she feels herself stiffen up. you smile at her and lean against the table behind you. “well, i was wondering if you could help take pictures for the tennis team? we have a practice and game coming up so i figured they’d be good on the yearbook. also, jungwon wanted to ask you to help him promote a fundraiser he wants to set up.”

“he did?”

you nod, “jungwon’s been planning this for a while, we’re trying to set it up and do a bake sale of some sort.”

“i’m down, but i’m booked for this week. a lot of people have been asking around, and my friends have priority, you know.”

a giggle slips from your lips and you point to her camera. “well, who wouldn’t ask you? you’re the best photographer here, last years yearbook was amazing because they switched heeseung out for you.”

“you think?”

“i know.”

minji stops for a second, it feels like she’s being squeezed and the way you look at her makes her heart beat a little faster. 

“t-thanks.” minji hates the small stutter in her response and the way she avoids your gaze. “i can um, arrange something next wednesday for the tennis team. for jungwon’s fundraiser maybe the same week, what was it for anyway?”

"we’re trying to raise money to support others in places that don’t have equal care for the lgbtq+ community!" you explain excitedly. minji freezes up again. we? no, maybe you're just an ally; minji can’t just assume. you're really sweet, kind, and a great person, but that doesn’t mean you're gay just because you want to help others.

“that’s wonderful.” 

“mhm, and especially with so many people getting hurt these days, it worries me how people in my own community deal with unequal healthcare, you know?”

minji tilts her head, then says, “wait, your community?”

you look at her with confusion all over you. “yeah! mine. minji, you know im… a lesbian, right?”

fireworks explode, people are cheering, and minji smiles before quickly suppressing it. "oh," she says, then pauses, realizing how flat her response sounds. she nearly drops her camera as she raises a hand in defense, shaking it and stuttering, "i-i mean, it's not a bad thing! obviously, i mean, i'm gay, er—i'm a lesbian too. i think it's great that you care so much about this. it's great. yeah, i'll prioritize the shoot for you."

she looks adorable, cheeks flushed and her glasses sliding down her nose. you push them up with your finger and minji clenches her jaw. 

“great.” you say softly, then narrow your eyes at her. “well, i have to get going for practice. thanks again, you’re the best minji.”

she nods and grips the camera in her hand a little tighter, watching you walk away, then turn around for a brief moment to add,

“you look really good with your hat like that, by the way.” the way it slips off your tongue, the way you smile once more and walk away, leaves minji feeling like she’s near cardiac arrest.

–

minji’s at a mall on a weekend, not to shop or hangout with her friends, but because people think it’s a good idea to try and commit crimes in broad daylight.

they’re not just normal, stupid shoplifters either; they’re far from it – near villains. the men she’s fighting have weapons, and they’re raiding various tech stores, causing chaos as people run around screaming. the scene is a mess, with extensive property damage, and minji wonders how it will ever get fixed.

she fights four men in the apple store, they chuck phones at her in hopes of slowing her down, but really, it’s just putting good phones to waste. she jumps up on the ceiling, catching them by surprise, and takes them down one by one from where she is. they’re not difficult to fight, minji had alrieady figured from the whole phone throwing part, so thankfully there’s isn’t a single scratch on her.

a few more stores are terrorized and minji manages to capture at least ten more culprits, webbing them together or sticking them to a wall for the police to find red-handed. she’s left with a few bruises by then, but nothing too brutal.

minji catches sight of two men in the corner of her eye running toward the metro stop that connects to the mall. she quickly follows, weaving past civilians and using her webs to launch herself ahead, closing the distance faster. she watches as the two men jump the entrance gate to the station. not only did they destroy a decent part of the mall, but they didn’t even bother to pay for the metro. they could’ve at least bought a day pass, she thinks wryly.

by the time she gets passed the entrance (she didn’t pay either, but in her case it’s to stop crime) and finds herself at a rough stop.

there are three metro lines: red, blue, and yellow – after getting down the stairs there are three directions that they could’ve gone, and minji doesn’t have time to check every place considering the metro comes and goes.

she’s stuck, the only thing she can do is pick one and pray that she’ll find them.

that’s what she thinks at least, until she hears a woman screaming for help in the direction of the red line. minji swings towards it almost immediately, using her enhanced agility and power to get there as fast as she can. 

when she reaches the platform, her eyes widen.

the two men hold you, your arms are restricted and you’re desperately trying to squirm out their grasp. minji immediately feels anger bubbling up inside of her, watching the way the men smile at her.

“let her go.” minji warns, stepping closer.

"how about you relax, spiderwoman? put your hands up, and the girl will be perfectly fine," one of the men sneers, pulling out a dagger and holding it against your neck. your head tilts up, desperately trying to avoid the blade, and your breath shakes as you freeze in place. "wouldn't want to hurt such a pretty little thing, hm? she is one of the captain's daughters, isn't that right?" the man adds, smiling at you disgustingly.

“fuck you.” you curse through gritted teeth. “ugly bitch.”

the man presses the flat side of the dagger against you, the frigid feeling of the material makes you gasp. 

you seemed to have been browsing around the mall, considering the casual outfit you have on, but now, you’re in danger. minji looks at you worried, unable to process much from just seeing you being held back like that. you look at her with upturned brows, scared out of your mind but also worrying just as much for spiderwoman.

minji sighs quickly, there’s others around as well, she can’t risk causing a scene in such a tight space with so much risk of making things worse. she puts her hands up slowly, you widen your eyes.

“fine, i won’t budge. just take that blade away from her, now.” minji says.

the man laughs, and so does his little partner in crime. “what, this blade?” he uses the dagger to tilt your head to the side to face him, then grins. “i wouldn’t do a thing to such a beauty.”

you fight back a retort, opting to shut yourself up for the time being. the man puts his hand down, taking away the blade from your throat.

“let her go.” minji orders, looking at you being held back. “she didn’t do anything.”

his partner snickers, then looks at you amusedly before looking back at minji. “you just stay there and we’ll see what happens to–”

before he can answer, you manage to kick him in the back of his knee, throwing him off balance and making him stumble. this gives you a quick opportunity to break free from one man's grip and swing your free hand at the other. you successfully land a blow on the man with the dagger, striking his jaw, but the impact hurts your knuckles, making you inhale sharply.

the men recover as you step away from them, eyeing you angrily.

“you little–”

before they can grab you again, you feel something sticking to your back. you’re being pulled backwards and feel an arm wraps around you. turning over, you see spiderwoman up close and in person. the eyes on her mask narrow as she looks at you, then asks, 

“are you okay?”

you gulp, then breathe hard. “yeah, yes.”

“good, stay put.” she says. 

you watch as she runs toward the man you had kicked, delivering a punch to his jaw and another to his stomach, making him fall back with a groan. he lays on the ground, clutching his belly, unable to get up after just two hits. the other man, now frightened, clutches his dagger. you watch as spider-woman slings a web at his chest, pulling him toward her, and then punches him right where you did.

you’re amazed, to say the least—until the man somehow manages to swing his dagger at spiderwoman’s upper forearm, leaving a deep cut. your eyes widen in horror as blood seeps out onto the floor.

she gasps in pain as the man attempts to swing at her shoulder, but she quickly throws him to the ground before he can and shoots a web at his hand, making the dagger fall in the process.

ignoring the pain for a moment, minji traps the men on the dirty platform floor by webbing their limbs to the ground. she kicks the man who had the dagger in the crotch for good measure. people cheer in amazement, applauding her efforts.

however, minji’s too distracted by the sharp pain from the cut, and that you’re watching.

she turns to see you appalled, walking over to look at her wound closer.

“you’re– spiderwoman, you’re hurt.”

“it’s not much,” she lies, shaking her head. “just a scratch.”

“no, no it’s not don’t lie to my face.” you grab her wrist without warning, and even though she’s spiderwoman at the moment – not kim minji, the girl who can barely make eye contact with you for more than five seconds – she’s momentarily distracted by the pain and blushing. “i– are you able to swing places?”

“um, i guess?” the confidence she’s built for this alter ego has completely washed away in your presence. “what are you–”

before she can finish, you fish for a handkerchief in your bag and tie it around the bleeding cut. minji doesn’t respond or say anything because a second later you’ve grabbed her hand and started running away from the red line platform. civillians watch, but none follow.

you turn to her for a split second as you speed through the corridors to ask, “do you know where hybe highschool is?”

“yes,” minji says breathily, “excuse me, y/–” she catches herself before exposing the fact that she knows you. “miss, what are you–”

“take me there, you can swing me, can’t you?”

the handkerchief does wonders, or maybe it’s just you. spiderwoman nods. “yeah, yes.”

in a rush of boldness, minji grabs your waist and holds onto you tight, shooting a web up at the ceiling to get the two of you up the big escalator in two seconds, then finds the nearest exit and has you two outside in no time.

“hold on tight, okay? it can be a little scary.”

“i like the thrill, it’s okay.” 

minji pauses, catching her breath. “you’re interesting,” she says, then shoots a web at the nearest building. she jumps up, swinging the two of you through the urban jungle, the city blurring around you as minji finds the quickest route to her school with you clinging onto her.

–

when the two of you reach the school, it’s closed and abandoned since it’s a saturday. why would anyone be on the campus during their off day? in this case, it’s because a pretty girl has led spiderwoman back for a reason she hasn’t even said yet.

minji needs to get a grip.

“follow me,” you say quickly, then grab her hand and run towards the south entrance where the main office and clinic are. ““if you’re ever hurt, just remember this.”

the doors aren’t open, but you pull out a keycard from under the mat that unlocks it. 

you lead her past the office and towards the clinic, which is empty. minji lets you sit her down – you’re too in your head to consider the fact that spiderwoman is sat down with no word uttered because she had simply let you do so – and watches you shuffle around the storage to find a first aid kit, cloth, a bucket, and a bottle of distilled water.

“what are you doing?”

“you have a really deep cut in your forearm, it’s not safe to just let it go.”

“i could’ve seen a doctor.”

you scoff, then sit down next to her. “they’d ring the police immediately, you know my dad is a captain? everyone there hates you.”

“oh.”

"yeah, oh." you grab her forearm, unwrapping the handkerchief and cringing at how much blood has soaked through. "jesus christ." you hold her forearm above a bucket, pouring water over the wound to rinse it off. then you grab a soft cloth with disinfectant to clean around the area. the sting makes minji groan. "sorry," you apologize.

"it’s fine," she says quietly, watching you clean around the wound with an alcohol wipe. minji bites back more sounds of pain—for your sake, of course.

the rest of the time you treat her, it's silent. thankfully, the cut isn’t severe enough to need stitches. you apply a thin layer of ointment to the wound, then cover it with gauze, wrapping it securely around her forearm to keep it in place. you rub your thumb over the gauze, then look up at spiderwoman.

“does it hurt less?”

“yeah,” she says, looking down at her treated cut. “thank you.”

“it’s nothing.”

“why did you do it?”

“why not?” you shrug, packing up the equipment you used. “you’re spiderwoman.”

“you just said the police hate me.”

“they do.”

“your dad is a cop.”

“you’re smart,” you grin at her teasingly as she points out the obvious. “he is.”

minji sighs, unable to read you at all. “you don’t hate me?”

“i don’t have any reason to. most of the time you do their job better, you help out with the more… serious crimes. if anything, i think you’re a hero.”

that manages to shut spiderwoman up, so you continue, putting the first aid kit away in the cabinet. then you grab the blood and water mixture and pour it down the sink. you rinse the bucket and place it on the ground before tossing the empty water bottle into the trash.

minji cannot believe any of this happened. you, the prettiest, sweetest girl in the school that she’s been head over heels for since grade eight, have managed to drag a vigilante five minutes away to your school and treat her.

“how are you so good with stuff like this?” minji questions, watching you wash your hands. 

“my aunt is a nurse.” you dry off your hands with a paper towel, then turn to look at her. “she taught me a fair amount.”

of course you know how to treat a wound, you’re good at everything, minji thinks.

“thank you…?”

“y/n,” minji already knows that, and you saying it is like choir bells ringing. “my name is y/n.”

“right, thank you y/n.”

“mhm.” she watches you fix your black t-shirt and jeans, then grab a small bandaid from the drawer nearby. you look in the mirror and lift your head up, turning to the side to place the bandaid on a small cut that minji didn’t notice before.

“he hurt you?”

“‘just a scratch,’” you mock her words from earlier. “he just grazed me, it’s bleeding a little now though.”

“you’re okay, right?”

“kind of traumatized but i’ll be fine.” you say, brushing it off like it’s nothing. minji is seriously attracted to everything about you. “i’m glad you’re okay.”

“i should be the one saying that.”

“i’m okay, spiderwoman. all because of you.”

minji tries to respond, but her throat dries up. she watches you smile at her, feeling her heart do a little flip in her chest. she wonders what she can do in return, then perks her head up as an idea forms in her mind.

“i can drop you back off at home, it’s getting late,” you offer, though it’s only five o’clock in the afternoon. despite the early hour, minji finds herself wanting to spend more time with you. behind the mask, she feels a bit more confident talking to you, knowing you think highly of her from what you’ve overheard. “you like the thrill, right?”

“you’re a good listener.”

“i guess so.”

“i’d love to get home via spiderwoman, uber’s are pricey these days.”

minji laughs softly and the pain in her arm fades away momentarily.

–

you’re bombarded the next day by your friends and some other people you’ve only talked to a few times in your (almost) four years of being in the school. they all question the same thing, everything is related to what happened between you and spiderwoman because of some pictures going around on the internet.

the people you don’t know all too well all question your experience, but your friends are asking if you’re okay or severely injured.

jungwon acts as a bodyguard, shooing away everyone who isn’t in your circle and tilting your head up to examine the bandaid on your neck.

“is your throat okay?”

“it’s nothing, just a little worse than a papercut,” you assure, but wonyoung makes a face.

“papercuts are terrible y/n,” she groans, “are you sure you’re fine?”

“it’s nothing. spiderwoman saved me before i could do anything, i’ll tell you more, let’s just get to class?”

“you’re sure you’re–” 

“wonyoung, it’s a scratch. it’s nothing.”

–

after school, you’re typically at tennis practice or helping out with student government activities. you usually get home around four or five, either sweaty from practice or burnt out from your responsibilities. normally, you arrive before your dad and aunt. your dad’s demanding schedule rarely allows him to rest, and your aunt’s schedule is worse considering she’s a nurse, so you’re usually home alone for a bit.

that’s not the case this time.

you close the door behind you, then turn to see your dad leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. your aunt looks at you, clearly tense.

“oh, you’re both home.” you set your jacket on the little hook in the door. “what’s up…?” the way your dad looks at you makes you stiff, his jaw tightens and he looks angry. he’s rarely ever angry at you, and your aunt seems worried. “did something happen?” you ask.

“how about you explain to me why i’m finding out today,” he steps away from the counter, walking towards you and continuing, “that my daughter crossed paths with that vigilante.”

“spiderwoman?”

“y/n, i thought you knew better.”

your shoulders sink and you sigh, “she’s not as bad as you paint her out to be.”

“she could be, she’s dangerous.”

“dad!” you scoff, shaking your head. “are you dense? if she hadn’t been there, my throat would’ve been sliced.”

“or maybe you wouldn’t have been in that situation at all. you realize those men used you to get spiderwoman to surrender? because of you i almost lost my only daughter.”

your aunt simply hums, then nods. “i’m sorry but… your dad has a point.”

“you’re agreeing with him too?” you groan, “dad, regardless of what could’ve happened, what did happen was that spiderwoman saved me. can’t you see that?”

“y/n, think about what could happen in the long run, listen to your dad. look, i know you’re frustrated, but your dad is also my older brother, he’s always known what’s best.”

“all that spiderwoman can bring is danger to you, don’t follow her antics.”

you stare at both of them, baffled and almost offended. you could’ve died, and they’re still ungrateful for spider-woman’s efforts. you bite the inside of your lip, struggling to hold back the urge to lash out. your dad sends you a small warning look, silently reminding you to keep your composure. scoffing, since it's the only outlet for your frustration, you storm down the hall to your room, deciding to avoid them for a while.

once you close the door, you flop down on your bed and close your eyes.

various emotions come rushing to you, only fuelign the fire of resent towards your dad in the moment.

he’s been so uptight since your mom passed when you were young, becoming increasingly protective and closed off. he pushes you to be better but restricts you from so many things. it’s as if he wants to hide you from the world, only exposing you to what he deems right. his selfishness and narrow-mindedness infuriate you. his biased views feel like chains holding you back and making you angrier.

your aunt has been with you for a while now, and she understands you the most. she gets your moods, motivations, and knows you like the back of her hand. despite everything, she sides with your dad – you feel some sort of betrayal.

your father isn’t a bad guy, but being mad at him makes you forget that for a bit.

“he doesn’t know shit,” you mutter, “spiderwoman isn’t danger.”

sitting up again, you stare at the floor as you recollect yourself.

you groan again, feeling cramped up in the room. your thoughts feel like a stormy cloud over your head and the thought of being in the same living space with your dad only frustrates you more. 

quickly, you grab your phone and keys, rushing out your room and down the hall. your aunt and dad stop conversing momentarily as they watch you unlock the door.

“what do you think you’re doing y/n?” your dad questions, watching you closely. you don’t respond, instead sending him a small look before opening the door, and he seems to lose it. “where the hell are you–”

his wrist is restrained and tugged at as you exit the apartment. your dad looks back to see your aunt – his sister – holding him back. she shakes her head and stops him, softly saying, “don’t, just let her.”

“i can’t just–”

“you’re so uptight, just let her be. she’s overstimulated and needs some time.”

he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose before looking back at the door. his body relaxes, almost going limp as he sits down next to your aunt. “i’m just worried for her.”

“she’ll be fine, just take it easy. i’m worried about her too.”

–

you’ve made it a few blocks away with no idea in mind. you don’t have your wallet or anything, just a heavy heart and clouded mind – and after hearing your stomach rumble, almost an empty stomach too.

it’s still busy during the late evening. people are making their way home after staying late at work, families of three or four linger together, and friends eat ice cream on the benches. you’re trying to find a place that brings you peace. the nearby bookstore, the same one you grew up visiting, pops into your head. it never fails to bring you relaxation, a sort of sanctuary to you.

one more block and you’ve turned to meet the entrance of the bookstore, it closes in less than an hour – that’s more than enough time to cruise around. stepping inside you’re met with the strangely nice smell of books, a small smile forms on your lips.

you make your way over to the graphic novels, sliding your fingers along the spines as you walk through. you’ve already read most of them, and tonight's mood doesn’t really call for this type of reading. the next section you visit is where your favorite poems and literature are found. you scan the shelves closely before picking out a small book filled with a collection of poems you haven’t seen before. flipping through it, you read every other page, admiring the works.

you grab another book before heading to your favorite spot, the little corner away from the shelves near the window. 

what you don’t expect to see is someone in your usual spot, slumped against the wall, sleeping with a book in their hand. you squint your eyes as you catch sight of the person, then look closer, realizing it isn’t just anyone: it’s minji.

minji’s always been alluring in your eyes, not just physically but her as a person drew you in a bit. she’d always stumble on her words and had this weird, adorable charm to her with every interaction. plus, she was smart and sweet, but you never had the chance to talk to her as much as you’d like to – even if you were to, you were always a little nervous yourself. seeing her now, she looks especially cute, reminding you of how she makes your heart beat slightly faster everytime you see her.

she’s in a black hoodie and jeans, breathing slowly with her head angled down and her lips slightly parted. her glasses are almost at the tip of her nose and her hair is tied up in a casual bun. you’ve always caught her sleeping in class at least twice a week from afar, you never realized how pretty she looked up close.

you hesitate, unsure whether to wake her or not. glancing down at your phone to check the time, you decide you’ll wake her before the store closes.

to pass the time, you continue to read, marvelled at certain pieces and snapping pictures here and there. this lasts twenty minutes, you almost forget about the time, but minji crosses your mind as you read a certain poem and it prompts you to check your phone and look back at the girl.

you shake her lightly, hearing her groan despite not budging. you squeeze her shoulder and she still doesn’t wake up, so you opt to pinch her cheeks, which stirs her awake.

“hm?” she mutters, blinking a couple times. 

“morning minji.”

“y/n, hi, what– how did you get here? what time is it…”

she hears you giggle before responding, “the place closes in ten minutes. i usually read in this space but when i came over i saw you sleeping, so i just stayed close until it got late.”

“you did?” you stayed by minji while she slept, how crazy is that? minji pushes her glasses up. “thank you for waking me up.”

“it’s nothing, but we should probably head out before they kick us out.”

“yeah, that sounds good.”

minji follows you towards the section where you got the book you were reading. she watches as you carefully put the book back in its place, and then you lead her out of the bookstore, saying goodnight to the staff sweetly and waving. minji can only smile and admire until you’re both outside.

you look both ways, then your stomach rumbles. your cheeks warm up and you embarrassingly mumble, “sorry, i haven’t eaten yet.”

“you haven’t?” minji questions.

“no. i’ll eat later, i don’t have my wallet on me.”

“but your stomach just rumbled, you should really eat.”

“it’s whatever.”

“no,” minji shakes her head, then looks at you seriously. “it’s not whatever, let me buy you something.” she says, a little shocked that she even had the confidence to say that. “you need to eat.”

“it’s fine, i–”

“come on, let’s go. the convenience store is at the end of the block.”

“i don’t have my wallet minji.”

“i’ll pay.”

“you’re not paying for me.”

“yes i am. do you want those pictures or…?” minji smirks slightly and you surrender because it makes you feel oddly nervous and warm inside.

“fine.” you respond, shoulders sinking as minji starts to walk in the direction of the convenience store. 

the two of you make your way inside, wandering around and browsing the cheaper options. minji grabs a packet of ramen and some green tea, while you find a chicken sandwich and peach tea. after being rung up by the cashier, you head towards the area to prepare minji’s ramen. as you glance at the food in your hands, you feel a pang of guilt, knowing she bought it for you.

minji’s pouring hot water into the bowl while you speak, “i’ll pay you back.”

“it’s nothing, don’t.”

“stop, i will.”

“don’t.” minji shrugs, then uses a chopstick to stir the noodles around. she puts a sauce packet in and mixes again, then looks at you with a small smile. “it’s nothing, seriously. i haven’t eaten dinner yet either, your company is enough.”

“is it?”

she finds herself blushing a little. “um, yeah, yes.”

“oh.” your lips start to turn up. “yours is great too.”

minji turns back to the bowl of ramen because she’s a little embarrassed, but also because her dinner is finished. 

the two of you sit at the counters inside the store and start to eat. it’s silent for a while, but there’s nothing wrong with that. you feel happy just being next to her, and the sandwich tastes better than usual.

“why didn’t you eat before?” minji asks you while you’re still chewing. 

you take a moment to swallow before answering, “i kind of… ran away for a bit.”

“you snuck out?”

“no, my dad saw me leave. i think my aunt held him back.”

“oh.” minji looks away from you and out the window. “did something happen?” she starts, but stops herself soon after. “i mean you don’t have to tell me of course, i was just curious.”

“it’s fine, my dad and i got into a little disagreement, that’s all.” you see, a little bothered by it in minji’s eyes, but she doesn’t push further. you take a sip of your tea and turn to look at minji. “how long were you at the bookstore?”

“oh, um.” she laughs nervously. “i was reading for half an hour, then fell asleep. you woke me up a few hours after.”

“you were asleep for hours there?”

“only two!” she quickly defends, making you giggle. “i’m just… tired these days.”

you scoff playfully. “doing what?” 

minji pauses, trying to formulate an answer. “sleep problems?” it comes out unsure and more like she’s questioning herself. she coughs and says again, firmly, “sleep problems.”

“aw, maybe buy melatonin?”

“my mom isn’t fond of that, she thinks it’ll mess with my health.”

“yeah, my dad thinks that too.” 

minji chuckles before slurping up a few more noodles, and you take another bite out of your sandwich.

a few minutes later, you two finish your food and start walking with no destination in mind. the evening chill sets in, and the breeze makes you tense up and shiver. minji notices you clutch your phone tighter as the wind blows against you. you're wearing a baby t-shirt and linen pants, clearly not enough to keep warm in this weather.

“are you cold?”

you shake your head and lie, “no, just a breeze.”

“you look cold. here, i have a long-sleeved shirt under this anyway,” minji says quietly, slipping off her hoodie. she pauses and you do too, then hands it to you. you tilt your head, staring at the piece of clothing, then look back at her. she moves it towards you again, urging you to take it. “i’m warm, you’re not.”

“i am.”

“i didn’t know you could be such a liar, y/n.”

“what?”

“i’m kidding,” she says, then pulls you closer by your wrist. you let her put the hoodie on you, it fits a little large since it’s also oversized on her. “better?”

she looks at you with care in her eyes, you almost stop breathing. the sunset’s glow highlights the curve of her nose and lights up her gaze. all you can think is wow, because wow.

“woah,” you’re a little starstruck. “you’re… gorgeous.”

“i– what? no, where did that come from?”

“sorry, um, i didn’t mean to… it was just in the moment, you know? yeah…” you swallow lightly, and laugh to push away the awkwardness. “thank you. this is much better, i’m warm.”

“that’s good.”

“yeah.”

the two of you continue to walk, with you filling the silence and talking about your classes. minji’s easy to talk to, she’s a great listener and hums at everything before adding her own input. everything she responds with is interesting too, but maybe that’s because she’s minji.

both of you had turned halfway through to start walking in the other direction since you live the same way. minji points at certain stores and spots, sharing short stories and little remarks about memories from each place. her voice is soft and nostalgic, painting vivid pictures of her past experiences as you stroll along together. 

you could listen to her all day, or at least a long while. that’s what you realize the more she speaks.

you two reach a point where you need to part ways. minji lives on the right side and you live left, so you two stand at the croner before the crosswalk, looking at each other.

minji pauses you as you start to take off her hoodie, “you can give it back to me tomorrow.”

“what? no way, it’s cold.”

“my home is only five minutes down, it’s fine.”

“you sure?”

“i’m sure.” she adds.

silence follows again for a few seconds, you take the time to scan minji’s face again.

“what happened to your cheek?” you point at the bandage on her cheekbone.

“oh,” minji’s not going to tell you that some idiot decided to throw a piece of building at her and scratch her skin. “um, knife?” she clears her throat. “knife.”

“how did the knife get up there?”

minji tries hard to conjure a response, looking down before her eyes light up after a lie forms.

“i had it in my hand while trying to scratch an itch.”

“mhm, okay.” you say squinting your eyes at her and giggling. 

minji looks at the bandage on your neck, remembering how, where, and why you had hurt yourself there. it’s odd that you look at her with the same admiration even when she’s out of teh suit – when she’s just minji and not some ‘hero’ in your eyes.

“what happened to your neck?”

“some guy.” you play it off like you didn’t almost get your throat sliced. “you probably heard the story.”

“i didn’t.” she didn’t need to, minji had been part of the story.

“oh,” your fingers raise and brush against the bandage as you recall, “spiderwoman saved me, but this guy managed to graze me.”

minji hums and nods, then steps closer, reaching her hand out to gently put her finger on it. you stiffen. 

“were you scared?” minji asks, finger sliding down the bandage in a way that makes you tingle. “it must’ve been scary.”

you shake your head. “spiderwoman was there, i knew she’d come through.”

“right.” minji says lowly, then takes her finger off of you. she stares at you for a good five seconds before smiling softly. “i’ll um, i’ll see you.”

“yeah, thanks.”

“get home safe, text me when you get– oh, wait.” she furrows her brows before pulling out her phone. “i don’t have your um…” her voice quiets down to something close to a whisper, “--your number.”

“you can have it, if that’s what you’re trying to ask.” 

“yeah, um, i just wanted to make sure you got home safe.” minji says, because if anything were to happen to you she’d do more than just web some dumbass down. they’d probably be left with a little bruise or two, maybe even left upside down against a wall or tree. minji continues, “if that’s alright with you.”

“that’s perfect.” you type in your number and smile at her once more before finally adding, “thank you for the hoodie, good night minji.”

“goodnight y/n.”

with that, you two depart, and you look back once to see her walking in the other direction. when you turn back, putting your hands in the pocket of minji’s hoodie, you realize: minji’s wonderful. 

the image of her smiling and puffing her lips out when you tease her makes you grin to yourself. you can’t tell if it’s because of her hoodie or her; you’re warm inside and out.

–

minji waits for you at the entrance of the school instead of meeting her friends at their usual spot (if the little corridor by the gym counts as a meetup spot anyway). she looks around, you had texted her that you were almost at school.

she feels a little stupid standing there by herself, especially since your friends are nearby and stealing glances at her, making her shrink in her place a little.

all her worries wash away when you walk through the entrance and scan the room, meeting her eyes and lighting up. you make your way towards her with her hoodie in your arms, then hand it to her.

“thanks again.”

“it’s no problem.”

“i owe you, and for the shoot later today.”

“you don’t owe me anything.” minji smiles at you assuringly. “i’ll um, get going. your friends are all here…” she rubs her neck awkwardly and looks down at the hoodie in her hand.

“oh! i was actually wondering…” she watches you look down at the ground. “do you want to walk around together? we have first block together so… if you don’t mind. i enjoyed being around you last night.”

“you did?” minji looks surprised, she sounds surprised. “i mean, yes. yeah, i’m down, let me text my friends.”

“great.”

“yeah.”

minji can’t fight back the smile that forms on her face and neither can you – you like the sight of it. her gums show a little and you think it’s the most endearing thing in the world.

“by the way, are you and your dad okay? after the argument.. you know?”

“oh, yeah.” you mumble. you and your dad agreed to disagree. “it doesn’t really matter, i’m just grateful you were there to help me feel better.”

“i did?”

“how could you not?”

-

minji’s adjusting the settings of her camera, eyes squinty as she looks close at the small screen. from afar, you take a few glances throughout your conversation with jungwon and wonyoung.

you watch as minji’s lips pout a little, she has a poker face that would make her seem intimidating and serious if you didn’t know her. 

“hello?” jungwon waves a hand in front of your face. you glance away from minji and your attention is back on him, catching the look he shares with wonyoung. 

“why are you guys looking at each other like that.” 

wonyoung raises her eyebrows, the smirks. “the real question is why are you looking at minji so much?”

“i’m just… you know… she’s– she’s taking long to set up her stuff.”

“it’s been less than three minutes y/n,” jungwon clicks his tongue. “you even ditched us to walk with her, what’s up with that?”

crossing your arms, you respond, “what’s wrong with that? are you jealous?”

“oh not at all, i don’t care y/n. just curious, that’s all.”

“you looked a little too happy in my eyes.” wonyoung teases, smiling knowingly. 

“shut up, she’s just really nice, you know…” 

“uh huh.” jungwon hums, smiling wider.

before you can scold him, you catch minji looking up and making eye contact with you. today, she’s wearing a flannel over a white tank top, paired with dark jeans to complete the outfit. she looks a little dorky, but you’re into that – she pulls it off effortlessly. 

as she starts to walk towards you, jungwon, and wonyoung, you smile wider, waving at her and beckoning her over with your hand. minji greets the others warmly, then glances down at the ground before looking back up at you nervously.

“hi, are you all ready?”

“yeah, i’ll gather the rest.”

“great, you all can just go on with practice and i’ll try to get the best shots i can.”

“that sounds great! thank you again minji, i owe you so much.”

she chuckles, putting a hand on your shoulder and rubbing it lightly. “it’s nothing.” she says, but what’s something is the familiar tingly sensation making you lose balance. jungwon notices the blush on your cheeks, as well at your thrown off composure, fighting back a laugh.

first, you and jungwon have a warm-up match together. minji snaps a few pictures before wonyoung and heeseung join in for a doubles match. after capturing your group, she moves on to the rest of the team, snapping pictures of them in action. her shots capture the players mid-swing, rackets in hand, their faces set with determination. the light filters through the trees, casting a perfect glow over the court, making each photo dynamic and full of energy.

you sit on the side, watching your teammates and minji (mostly minji) at work. 

“i’ve never seen you with hearts in your eyes until now.” wonyoung teases, shoving her shoulder against yours.

“shut up,” you groan, putting your hand on her face and pushing her away. “minji’s so sweet, and cute…”

“i knew it!” wonyoung gasps, “you never look at anyone like that. half the school looks at you like that, but you’ve never returned the gesture.”

“there’s no one in the school to look at like that wony.”

“well, now there is.”

you sigh, leaning into your best friend and pouting. minji looks really, really good on the court, the sun hitting her, and all focused on doing what she does best.

“i never realized how gorgeous she was.” you admit, staring harder. “and she’s so nice, like, danielle – the one in student government – she’s mentioned her a few times and only good things have come out her mouth. she’s not lying.”

“what, did you hangout with her or something? like a date?”

“no! no.” you shake your head, then frown slightly. “i mean, i got into a fight again with my dad and ran out the house and then to the bookstore and–”

“slow down.”

“sorry. i don’t know, i ran into her and just being with her made me feel better. it’s crazy because we’ve barely talked before this.”

“hmm…” wonyoung starts to ponder, narrowing her eyes at minji as she shoots a thumbs up in the air. she turns to face you and your best friend, smiling and walking over. “well, seems like you’re fond of her. i guess we’ll have to let time do the work.” she says before minji’s in a range where she can hear the two of you.

minji stands in front of you and wonyoung, grinning as she explains, “i’ve gotten the last shots i think, now a group picture?” 

“yes, that would be great.”

“great, if you could get everyone in the middle of the court that would be great.”

you nod, then grab wonyoung eagerly by the wrist and motion for everyone to gather around, just like minji said.

she instructs you all to have the tallest in the back, with you and jungwon in the front together since you two are the captains. minji sets the camera on the tripod, squinting her eyes as she fixes certain things. then, she gives a small thumbs up and says, “smile!”

the whole team says “cheese!” in unison, making minji smile herself. she snaps a few pictures, then urges you all to do something a little sillier. you make a face and stand on your tip toes to wrap and arm around jungwon, making him groan and laugh simultaneously. it’s candid in a way, with everyone being themselves and enjoying the moment.

minji giggles, then raises her hand up to give one last final thumbs up.

the smile on your face fades into something near shock, because minji’s sleeve falls down to just above her elbow, revealing a covered-up patch of skin – goosebumps trail up your spine because that’s the exact same gauze and placement. everything is identical to what you patched up two days ago, your brows furrow upon seeing it.

minji doesn’t seem to notice, instead taking the camera off the tripod and clicking through the photos. the tennis team starts to converse again, but you’re caught up with the injury on minji’s forearm.

you don’t want to jump to conclusions – but you’re kind of doing that.

what doesn’t help minjis case is the fact that she reacts so quickly when a tennis ball flies toward her head. it’s almost unhuman how she manages to dodge it, then catch it right after. 

she walks back towards you, then says, “the pictures look great from the little screen, i’ll take a look at them on the laptop and email them to you, yeah?”

you don’t respond for a moment, your eyes on her exposed forearm. you squint harder, thinking of when you patched up spiderwoman, and nothing shakes you from teh fact that that’s the same fucking bandage.

“y/n?”

“oh, yeah, that sounds good.”

“yeah…” minji realizes what you’re staring at, then panics and quickly rolls down her sleeve again. “i um, i just uh, hurt myself.”

“how?” you look up at her, making eye contact. “what happened?”

“brick.” she says quietly, “i tripped and my arm hit the um, the edge of a brick.”

“right, okay.” you still look at her now covered forearm, squinting again. “i hope it feels better.”

“thanks.”

“yeah.”

–

there isn’t a single person you can confide in about your suspicion that minji might be spiderwoman. jungwon would laugh and brush you off, thinking it’s just a wild fantasy. wonyoung would probably call you delusional, yeah, probably. 

left with no one to share your thoughts, you resort to lying in bed, eyes wide open, pondering the possibility. the moonlight filters through your window, casting shadows on the ceiling as you replay every clue and coincidence in your mind, trying to make sense of it all.

you grab your phone, searching up “superwoman” to see a very recent article in the first result that comes up titled: spiderwoman caught in a recent face-off with seoul’s most dangerous gang.

you click on a video beneath the headline, watching the scene unfold. spiderwoman performs a series of flips and maneuvers that seem almost unreal. the person filming is either too nervous or simply bad at their job; the footage is shaky, making it hard to follow. you squint at the screen, trying to make out the details, feeling a mix of awe and frustration as spiderwoman's incredible agility and skill are partially obscured by the unsteady camera work.

what you do catch is a dagger being thrown at spiderwoman’s rib, slicing her suit and watching blood seep out as she clutches the wound. you wince from just watching.

spiderwoman fights off the gang members with ease, knocking out three at once by letting them charge her, then jumping up to make them crash to the ground without her laying a finger on them. the last man stares at her in fear, stumbling backward as she steps closer and webs his mouth shut.

the video ends with spiderwoman webbing all the culprits against the city square as the police arrive. there’s sirens and commotion before she turns to see cops with guns pointed at her before swinging off, leaving them frustrated. your dad appears in the frame, cursing under his breath. the civilians around watch in shock and awe, clapping as she swings away.

she swings west, you take note of that.

after clicking out the video realizing that the article had been posted only five minutes ago, you hurriedly grab a hoodie and rush out your room. your aunt isn’t home yet, so no one would notice that you’re out and about.

you rush out the door and and lock your apartment clumsily, missing the keyhole at least twice before getting it. you run towards the elevator, then out of it once you reach the lobby and speed towards your school.

the school you patched spiderwoman up in, the school you and minji attend, is west of the city square. there’s a chance that spiderwoman won’t be there, but after she’s been shown how to get in after hours, there’s also a chance that the wound on her side needs to be patched up there specifically. besides, you’ve given her the secret to getting in.

you get there after running at your fastest pace for five minutes straight, and now you’re breathing heavily outside the entrance of the school. you’re inside in no time (perks of having a keycard from student government) and tiredly rushing towards the nurses office, then heading inside.

minji, however, is at least three steps ahead of you. after being bit by a genetically modified spider, her senses have been enhanced, so she had heard you as soon as you made it past the entrance – without knowing it was you.

when you step inside, there’s no one. 

the only thing you can see are bandages messily spread out on the counter and blood on the floor. you let out a breath at the sight of it.

“it’s me, y/n.”

there’s silence for a few seconds before you hear someone landing on the ground behind you, making you yelp from surprise.

“y/n? what are you doing here?”

“i saw your fight in an article.” you start, turning around to face the masked hero. you’re still not one hundred percent sure if it’s minji, but something tells you it’s her. you can’t really explain it. “you’re hurt.”

“a little.”

“that’s a big scratch you have there.” you point out, making minji laugh despite the sharp pain she feels.

“‘you’re smart’.” now it’s her turn to mock your words. you roll your eyes, stepping closer to press your fingers against it, her blood staining your fingers a bit. 

“sit down.”

“i don’t need your help.”

“you’re going to end up with a soaked bandaid, spiderwoman. i know what i’m doing, and i’m already here.”

minji inhales sharply when you press against the cut. “fine.” she croaks out.

she sits down on the counter, legs hanging off as you clean around the wound, blood soaking the small towel. you add some disinfectant, hearing her wince lowly and grip the counter not-so-subtly, so you grab her hand, squeezing comfortingly.

“it’s okay, i’m here.” you mumble, looking up at her. 

minji feels her heart tighten.

“thank you.”

you hum.

you bandage the wound carefully, relieved it’s not deep enough to require stitches. spiderwoman glances at her rib area, gently sliding her fingers over your handiwork. she looks back at you, a soft smile playing under her mask.

she watches you look back, frowning.

“what’s wrong?” minji asks.

“you’re bleeding.”

“you patched me up.”

shaking your head, you do something that makes minji short-circuit. your hand falls to her jawline, your thumb grazing the edge near her chin before pressing down. minji feels a sharp pain she hadn't noticed before. when you pull your thumb away, you stare at the smear of blood on it, holding it up to show her.

“it wasn’t just your abdomen.” you explain, then the worry fills your eyes again. “you’re bleeding through your mask.”

“oh,”

“can i? i won’t do it all the way, just past your lip to treat the wound.”

minji hesitates, then nods. “yeah, that’s okay. no more than that.”

“of course.”

you tremble a little as you roll up her mask tantalizingly. your fingers meet her skin just barely, but she still hears her breath hitching and her throat drying up.

you’re looking at her exposed lips before you even pay attention to the cut on her jawline. they’re plump and parted before you, catching your eye effortlessly. after gazing for a few seconds longer, you cradle her face in one hand to keep her in place as you dab an alcohol wipe over the cut – she winces.

“sorry.”

“it’s fine.”

a few seconds later and there’s a bandaid on her jawline now, courtesy of you.

she softly rubs the bandaid, then brings her mask back down. she clears her throat,

“thank you.”

“it’s nothing.”

“you didn’t have to.”

“i want to.” your expression is hard to read, a mix of worry and pity, but also admiration. “you’re a hero, you should be treated like one.”

“i just have responsibilities.”

“well, you should be someone’s responsibility too.”

“why yours?”

“because i care – a lot.”

minji stays silent for a while, staring at you through the mask. she feels beyond lucky, a little emotional too. her chest tightens slightly, urging her to look away from you and scoot away. 

you frown again.

–

the next day minji shows up next to you nervously with hanni by her side. you’re with jungwon at your locker, conversing with him until you feel a tap on your shoulder. when you turn around, you’re more than happy to see minji.

she has a small cut on her jawline in the same area and with the same bandage. there’s no denying that spiderwoman stands before you, but you’ll let her know a different way.

jungwon watches her hand you a flashdrive, her other hand clutching the strap of her bag. 

“um, these are the pictures.” her lips move the same way as spiderwomans, and they’re just as alluring. “ ihave the edited and original versions of each, just tell me which one you like the most.”

without warning, you reach over and hug her. she widens her eyes, and so do hanni and jungwon as they watch everything unfold. you purposely slide your hand over the wound on her rib area, pressing on it slightly and hearing her sharply exhale in your ear.

it’s her, it’s definitely her – you couldn’t be any happier that it’s her. minji’s sweet, caring, and very attentive, her personality fits her alter ego perfectly.

you pull away from her and smile, your hands gently resting on her forearm, holding her in place. minji feels a rush of warmth hit her cheeks like a summer heatwave, her heart pounding in her chest. 

“you’re literally the best, thank you minji.” 

“y-yeah, it’s no problem.” 

hanni looks dumbfounded watching the exchange. she turns to minji after you walk away with jungwon, and her best friend is smiling like an idiot. hanni almost gags.

–

a week passes by, you and minji have spent more mornings before class together, even conversing after school time to time. 

minji seems to have healed, the bandage on her cheekbone is gone and there’s a faint line that indicates a former cut on her face, but it’s not noticeable under her concealer. you’re happy to see that she’s getting better physically – much faster than the normal person, you might add.

(because she’s spiderwoman, you know she’s spiderwoman.)

you’ve spent more time admiring minji, your crush on her growing deeper and it almost makes you forget that she has a whole other persona. you can’t remember a single thing about the arachnid while staring at her brown eyes and pretty pink lips.

–

there’s not much crime for a little while, not until two weeks after the night you had patched up spiderwoman (kim minji, the prettiest girl in the school). 

a video on instagram reaches four thousand views in three minutes, the video showing spiderwoman leaping off a building and knocking down some lunatic with legs made of metal. some scientists really need to stay thinking inside the box, because giving yourself additional limbs to steal from organizations is just insane.

you watch as spiderwoman gets tackled to the ground at ador labs, grappling with manmade tentacle arms using her enhanced strength. sitting on the edge of your bed, you bite the inside of your lip when you see her shoulder get cut by the edge of a mechanical hand.

thankfully, the police arrive just in time to assist. they shoot at the villain, whose face bears an uncanny resemblance to the ceo of jyp manufacturing, distracting him long enough for spiderwoman to kick him off and shoot webs at his goggles.

the person recording has a steadier hand than the last, capturing the way spiderwoman uses her webs to launch herself at the man and kick him in the chest. she quickly rips off two of the tentacles, causing the remaining ones to shut down.

she collapses to the ground, clearly exhausted, but scrambles back up and onto her feet as the police start to close in on her. she’s swift and smart, easily fleeing the scene in no time.

you had left your apartment the moment the video ended, and now you find yourself back at school, catching your breath and processing everything you just witnessed as yourush towards the nurses office.

opening the door, you catch spiderwoman sitting on the floor and leaned against the counter tiredly, clutching her shoulder. 

“my god,”

“you came.” she says, practically a breath. 

“of course i did, i saw the video.”

“i’m so tired.”

“and you’re hurt.”

“it’s not that bad actually, this one’s actually a scratch.”

“bullshit.” you mumble, quickly rushing over to tend to her wound. 

the routine unfolds without much change: you gently clean away the blood, carefully applying disinfectant. minji fights to suppress her cries of pain, but the discomfort is clear in the way her body tenses and reacts. you offer her comfort, your hand resting reassuringly over hers. through the mask, minji gazes at you with a mixture of awe and gratitude, feeling like she’s witnessed rain after a drought.

“thank you.”

“it’s nothing.” you’ve said it countless times, minji’s said it back to you when she was just minji and not someone under a suit that could swing webs, save the day, and get hurt for you to take care of her. “i mean it.”

you sit beside her, your arms pressing comfortably against each other, and lean your head against the cabinet door beneath the counter. 

minji—spiderwoman—is the first to turn her head and look at you. she visibly relaxes as her gaze settles on your side profile. you turn to meet her eyes, offering a soft sigh, feeling a shared calm in the quiet space between you.

“can i,” your voice quiets down to something near a hum. “can i kiss you?”

“w-what?” minji feels her throat go dry and blood rushing to her cheeks, it’s so sudden, you must be more exhausted than her. “i, um, i don’t know if you’d like that. you barely know me.”

“sure i would, spiderwoman.”

minji doesn’t stop you when you reach over to the bottom of her mask, rolling it up. she could stop you, but she’s stuck in place, unable to move despite how risky it is for you to find out who she really is.

there’s no chance you’d stick with her if you knew who she really was, she’s been too comfortable hiding behind this “spiderwoman” persona, hiding who she really is.

you roll the mask up less than halfway, the bottom half of her face exposed to you. the wind hits her skin and she shivers.

minji feels transparent. “i, um–”

“pretty,” you stare hard at her lops, then lean closer. “you’re so pretty.”

“you haven’t seen my whole face.”

“and yet you’re still kissable.”

“y/n, i—“ she cuts herself off, words stopping at her throat as you tilt your head and place a hand where her jaw meets her neck. she begins again, unknowingly leaning closer. “i don’t think you’d be happy with the person under the suit.” she mutters quietly.

“sure i would,” you murmur, then press your lips against hers softly. you feel her kiss back and smile into her. you part just barely, your lips ghosting hers, “kim minji.”

minji hums surprisingly when you kiss her again, still reciprocating but quickly pulling away with a gasp.

“w-what? how did—“ she clears her throat, “who’s kim minji?”

you don’t respond to her question, instead, reaching for the edge of her partially rolled-up mask and laughing softly.

“can i?”

“um,” minji folds when you look at her like that, eyes pleading and face pretty as the moon shines through the window and highlights your features. “yeah…”

you smile at her, removing the mask off her head fully to see your classmate and crush under it. she’s battered up and her hair is messy because of the mask, plus, she looks fatigued. despite this, she just looks cuter in your eyes.

without warning, you lean in again, pressing your lips against hers. minjis eyes widen momentarily before she sinks into your touch, placing a hand on your cheek and melting into you. 

when you two pull away again, you grin at the way the moon shines on her, exposing the deep blush on her cheeks and the nervousness in her features.

“why wouldn’t i want to kiss you?”

“how did you— how’d you find out?”

you shrug. “i’ve liked you for a while now, i didn’t even know it until the night you gave me your hoodie. i mean, i always thought you were cute. i paid more attention to you and all the bruises and scars added up, and i could recognize those lips from a mile away.”

she blushes intensely, the manages to breathe out a small “oh.”

“mhm.” you hum once more before hastily pecking her lips. “you’re so cute.”

“wait, you actually… do you really like me?”

“of course i do minji.”

“it’s not becuase im spiderwoman, right?” 

“no,” you grin at her dumb expression. “i like spiderwoman because she’s you, minji.”

“seriously?”

you groan, looking at her with a stupid ‘are you serious’ expression painted on your face. “do i need to kiss you again?”

“um,” minji starts, but stops herself from being so dense. “yeah, please.”

“okay.” you respond happily, cupping her cheek and closing the distance again. 

you smell like vanilla and feel like snowflakes in the spring. as you cradle her jaw and kiss her softly, minji tries to figure out if she’s dreaming. your arms wrap around her neck, pulling her closer. minji's lips gently hold your top lip, while you play with the ends of her hair, twirling it between your fingers.

“hey, minji?” you pull away to softly mumble against her lips, then minji hums in response. “let’s go out sometime, is that okay?”

“of course, yeah, please.” she sighs lovingly.

yeah, it’s not a dream.

it can’t be because you pull away and look at her like she’s the prettiest flower in a field of nothing. you smile at her, holding her face in your hands like she’s everything you’ve ever wanted and more.

[the-burd-lord]

Actually proud of the background for this one. Haven’t tried to do any complicated backgrounds in JS Paint yet. Granted I just color picked and kinda traced over the original screenshot, but I still like it.

Based after this screenshot from the 8th episode.

This is one of those things where I feel like no matter what kind of fanart I make it’s not gonna describe how cool this series is. So everything I make feels inadequate or inaccurate. It’s a major bummer.

Highly recommend watching this series such a cool arg! Absolutely nails the surreal yet comforting vibe from so many Valve games, and utilizes it’s horror elements super effectively.

Here’s a link to the first episode if you’re interested-

Also some lil bonus doots:

“Make crebture marketable”

Lil sketch I’m gonna make in JS Paint. Gotta screenshot some images for it. Kinda hoping it’ll look the way I think it’s going to look, and not end up lookin stupid.

Some args/analog horror series that have been on my mind lately. Just wanted to make a silly thing with em, don’t know why I made Bon look like that.

It looks like some wack family portrait.

Look a this dude. Look at the creature. This silly lil guy.

I’m so tired :p

[mudandmire]

Contact

Azris Week - Day Three: Contact

~~~ So how about...fluff. @azrisweek day three is here! And we continue on the excitement with this prompt which I waffled on not gonna lie. But ultimately this is what I ended up with; a lil treat from the canon lore (universe/place??), which I don't often do so this is wack. Thank you to everyone posting this week and also those reading and liking - you all make my day and literally my heart feels light when I see you little guys in my phone <3. Alright, enough, enjoy!! :D ~~~

“Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another.” — The Iliad.

Far Too Honest

Eris learns quickly in his and Azriels growing partnership; the Shadowsinger has no patience for his vast, vapid verbiage.

That is to say: Azriel cuts through his bullshit with the skill and delicate precision he wields with his daggers.

Eris sit's at his desk with it's guttering candlelight. Silver streams through the patterned canopy and slips across the deep mahogany floors. The shadows stretch long, their edges wavering at the corner of Eris’s eyes. It could, of course, be strain from how long he’s been staring at this written proposition from the representative of Agriculture in his fathers council. The words are small, skittering in the dim candlelight, but that doesn’t explain the disquiet sense of knowing that crests along the nape of his neck and down the slope of his spine.

He straightens in his chair, the proposition all but forgotten as his breathing goes shallow: waiting, listening carefully for the softest whisper of sound behind him. The shadows in the corner of his room, the places he’d never think darkness could fit to accommodate, deepen like ink spilled in a pool, and then—

“It’s late, Shadowsinger.” Eris croons, slumping back in his seat, the very picture of nonchalance.

Azriel melts out of the very fabric of the wall Eris had been staring at—darkness tangible and material pours over his shoulders, shrouding the shine of his cobalt syphons. It seeps down the contours of his armored body before falling to the rug and dissipating. There’s wisps of shadow that still cling to him when he steps away from the wall, but Eris had only ever found him after he’d mysteriously appeared; never has he seen the process. A strange, tangled birth from the creeping darkness of his room.

“You’re not asleep.” Azriel says, his voice low. It’s not a question, Eris thinks most likely he already knew he wouldn’t be asleep.

“Would you prefer it if I was? Would certainly make this torturous confrontation less so.” He waves a careless hand to the tossed and creased emerald sheets and quilt of his bed.

Azriel tilts his head, enough that Eris can catch it in the weak light of his chamber. Quiet falls, yet Azriel doesn’t hasten to break it, instead studying Eris with those bright, hazel eyes. Listening into an invisible, untouchable voice—probably telling him about the dark, half-moon bruises under his eyes, the sluggish bleeding of his picked at cuticles.

“I think you would prefer if I wasn’t here at all.” His arms cross over his chest, a single dark brow arched even as his mouth creases in a frown.

“Now what would make you think I don’t absolutely adore your company, Shadowsinger? You’re a complete delight at all hours.”

Azriel takes a couple steps closer, his features carved into harsh lines. “Would you like me to come back in the morning?”

Eris falters, just for a heartbeat, before a scoff slips from his lips and his hands fold together under the safety of his desk. Free to rub and pick to his hearts content. “I didn’t think my comfort mattered to you so much, I'm touched.”

“It doesn’t,” he turns briefly toward the bed and the mess Eris had left behind with all his tossing and turning. “But I don’t want to deal with you when your tired and talking around the conversation even more than when you’re well rested.”

“‘Well-rested,’” he hums, “not sure I’m familiar.”

Azriel sighs deeply, walking closer to the desk with a pensive look in his eyes. “That’s what I’m talking about.”

“Relax, Shadowsinger.” Eris huffs, his knee bouncing under the desk, an itch in his calves and thighs he can’t seem to get rid of no matter how he twists his legs. It’s what dragged him out of bed in the first place—like the constant jump of his mind from problem to problem to problem accidently side-tracked down his body and stored in the bones of his legs. “I am at my best at all times of day.”

“Not night, then.” He replies shortly.

“Oh, so the bat can be clever? Not just boringly blunt.” Eris sneers.

Azriel narrows his eyes down at him. “I’m still waiting for an answer, Lordling.”

"You’re no fun.”

Azriel remains unmoved, his lips pressed together so tight the color leaches from them entirely.

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to repeat the question.” He gives Azriel a bland smile, mocking as he looks up at the lit features of his face. He’s closer than he realized, shifting nearer while Eris remained distracted by his own mind games—the pick of his nails at the raw skin around his fingers, the agitated bounce of his knee.

It’s a complete surprise when Azriel—in a movement so swift Eris blinks and misses it—reaches over and tugs his chair out from the desk. The legs screech against the floor, and Eris feels his hackles raise, mouth fallen open in shock as he’s physically tugged up and out of his seat by his wrists.

“Are you mad—” he hisses, anger and no small amount of caution flaring in his golden eyes as they flicker around the room, landing on his double doors with a stiffness drawing up his spine.

Azriel ignores his squirming, locking his fingers around his wrists where he can feel the rabbiting of his pulse against the thin skin. “I want you to look me in the eyes and answer the question, Eris.”

He goes still, a light flaring in his gaze at the sound of his name. His tongue, pink and wet flicks out to his lips. “You’ll get me caught, arrogant bastard.”

“I’ll let you get back to your habits if you answer my question.” With a quirk of his lips, his eyes fall briefly to Eris’s fingers where his hands are still locked in Azriel's grip. It’s not punishing, and if Eris pulled hard enough he could dislodge himself free—yet he keeps his hands there, swallows against his dry throat, and avoids Azriel’s piercing gaze.

Heat steals across the bridge of his nose, burns against the tips of his ears. “I told you; you have to repeat the question, Shadowsinger.”

“Hm.” Azriel hums softly, head tilting again. The fingers around his wrist pulse, just once, so softly Eris would take it for his own heartbeat. Understanding floods him. Eris knows what he’s listening to. His heart lurches, pressing hard against his ribcage and Eris wonders if he would see the imprint of it on the fabric of his tunic if he looked down. “I know, for a fact, you don’t.”

Eris opens his mouth, a defense mechanism at this point, melting from the inside out from a combination of Azriel’s grip and his bright, hazel eyes that have starred in too many dreams to be considered a blip.

Azriel’s fingers press down, and Eris’s mouth snaps shut as his head lowers, drawing closer to him. Enough that a single breath separates their mouths—and Eris shouldn’t be focusing on it, but it’s all he can see, his head a white water rush of his racing pulse—

“Eris.” Azriel says, his low voice sharp. “If this partnership is going to work—a partnership you made a deal for—I will not tolerate this kind of complex, verbal avoidance. It’s bullshit. Tell me what you think, you’ve never hesitated before.”

“I…” He swallows hard, a tendon feathering in his jaw. Simple, useless words like bile fill his mouth and he works against it. “I don’t—”

“Do you want me to come back tomorrow?” Azriel asks again. He doesn’t need to, and it breaks the seal against Eris’s lips.

“No,” he almost shouts, surprising himself and flinching back at the echo of his own voice—louder than it’s been in a while. “I don’t want to—I’m fine to conduct business, now.” He’s embarrassingly breathless, molten in the Shadowsinger’s hold.

At the though, he squirms against it slightly, Azriel tightening his grip in warning. “You don’t want to what?”

“Why do you act like you care?” Eris's mouth twists, bearing a dismissive scowl. There's a wild gleam in his eyes as his nostrils flare and for the first time the scent of cedar and the faintest hint of something smokey, like fyre whiskey, greets him.

Azriel breathes in deep, head rearing back slightly as if realizing how close they had grown in the undiluted heat of their conversation. “I don’t work with beings who say one thing, but mean another. Bad for business.” He grumbles, gaze cast to this side.

Blinking, Eris grits his teeth against the wave of despair that rises with a vengeful force in his chest. “Of course, wouldn’t want my serpents tongue meddling with your saintly High Lord’s schemes.”

“I said that wrong—”

“I’m really, quite sure you didn’t.”

“Eris,” The air shudders out of his lungs, a full body thing, and suddenly Eris watches as his features grow closer when he rests the bridge of his forehead against his. “For some, unexplainable reason, I want you to tell me things. True things.”

His mouth shuts with a click, swallowing the knot in his throat as he closes his eyes. Eris near melts into the line of his frame, feeling their noses brush against each other. There’s a part of him, try as he might to drown and subdue it, that longs for this. The breadth of Azriel's shoulders and the sweet sincereity of his mouth. He's already taken up by so many, and so much, but if Azriel asked—if he let him—Eris would carve a small spot in his chest that he could settle on like a bird on it's perch.

The longing of it, how soft he melts in the continuing heat of Azriel's presence, makes his mouth unguarded, his tongue dangerous. His heart is most especially vulnerable to the small, infinitesimal spark of hope lighting in his chest.

He wets his lips. “I don’t want to be alone. Not tonight; I couldn’t sleep.” The secret is dragged from the depths of him with the same finesse as lobbing a stone into a still lake. It falls in-between the space of his and Azriel’s bodies—but Azriel doesn’t miss it.

“Nightmare?”

“It—ever since Koschei.” Is all he manages to say until his throat clicks and he chokes off.

There’s the slightest increase in pressure when Azriel presses his forehead closer.

“I have them, too. Koschei.”

“Oh.” Eris breathes, relaxing more into Azriel’s hold.

“Somehow, always of you.” He confesses.

Eris can feel the words, they’re so close. The room has completely melted away—every sound and scent. The dripping wax of the candles, the worn leather of his chair. Even the faint smell of damp, churned earth, falls away. Eris is entirely held on an axis point by the vehemence in Azriel’s shadowed eyes.

The chest against his heaves, sudden and sharp. “We should…” Azriel trails off, his voice soft, gaze settling on his eyes, ears, nose, and then falling so lightly it’s barely a moment to his lips.

Eris only has a second to mark the heavy thump of Azriels pulse through his fingers before he’s rearing back. “This isn’t—” his eyes are wild, “we can’t.”

It takes a moment for feeling to rush back into Eris’s body—for sound and sight to come crawling back like admonished hounds. His hands are still aloft, held by invisible clutches because Azriel had removed his touch like it burned him straight to bone.

He clears his throat, casting his gaze down to the brown and maroon patterned carpet and wondering if his legs were shaking or if that was his vision.

“Uh—” his tongue stumbles and it sets his cheeks aflame. “Yes, right, of course that was…silly of me, forget it.” The plea is quiet, supposed to be left more to himself than to Azriel but it seems the sight of him, the very feeling of his nearness, makes his filter faulty.

“No, it was my fault, I shouldn’t have…” Azriel gestures uselessly to Eris’s own hands, then sighs deeply and cards his fingers through the raven strands of his hair.

Quiet falls among them. A silence much like the ones that haunt the Forest House; every empty, echoing hallway, the spaces between the books in the library, the very haloed edge of light the torches cast. All of it is pulsing, threatened and vulnerable.

Eris has never felt so stripped. Down to bone, raw as his bruised eyes and picked cuticles. He tugs at the embroidered hem of his waistcoat, restricting him as if it grew belts and strapped itself around and around and around—

“I don't regret it. I’m not saying I shouldn’t have asked for the truth, I wanted that. I shouldn’t have held you hostage, though. I’m sorry.” Azriel’s got his own hands clasped behind his back as if in penance.

He’s looking at Eris through the sooty spread of his lashes and Eris needs him out. He needs him far, far away so he can upturn his floorboards with his broken fingernails and bury himself away to rot.

The rabbiting thump of his pulse and the tremor running through his hands suggests that he still hasn’t recovered from his proximity.

He tries anyway. “It’s fine.” He whispers, shifting on his feet that have grown spines and thorns and dig into the muscle of his calves with vengeance. He hides the dull prick of pain in the clench of his jaw.

“You can tell me if it’s not—if I crossed a line.” His voice is so soft, quilted and woven as if to draw Eris into it’s bed of comfort and strangle him there.

He should tell him he crossed a line, crossed every line. Should twist his forked tongue and bare his teeth and shove him out the arched window. It would be the wise choice, the most sensible option to keep Eris from let himself wade into even deeper waters.

Yet, Eris can still feel the heat of Azriel's hands around his wrists like a band—the soothing warmth of another body, another soul, pressed to his. The most delicate, tender spot where his heart pounds loud and obnoxious: every lie a jolt, every truth a river. It is his secret, everything that gives him away, Azriel has held with a gentility Eris didn’t know was possible.

Mother strike him down, but he wants it again. The vulnerability. The most pleasant prick of needles in his skin, a fire built log by log in his belly—he wants the touch. Even if it burns.

Eris is the one to step closer. “Everything you did, I wanted you to do.” His heart is racing, sweat collecting on his palms. He has one horrible, stomach churning thought of ‘that was far too honest’ before a gentle touch, hesitant and questioning, brushes against the jut of bone on his wrist.

His head snaps up, Azriel is already looking at him. “Good,” he says, “I wanted to—I want to.” The words are near breathless, a pinch forming in between his dark brows.

His pointer finger and thumb circle his wrist, head tilted in a silent question.

All Eris feels is the rain-soaked rush of relief that floods him. The itch, insufferable and unreachable in his legs disappears. His chest loosens, and for the first time that night exhaustion sweeps over him in a blanketed haze of slow blinking and slumped shoulders.

“Maybe we can continue this delightful—” he cuts himself off with a yawn, startling him almost as much as Azriel.

“Tomorrow—right, yes, I completely forgot how late it was.” The words fall one on top of the other he’s talking so fast, still low, as if afraid to break the careful quiet around them.

Eris stops his spiraling, though it’s hard to tell from the outside, Azriel had gone completely rigid. A sudden swarm of lengthening shadows and stretches of darkness folding over his shoulders and arms. He holds Azriel’s wrist, thumbing over the ridges and caps of his scars.

“I meant, maybe you could stay?” It’s not as scary voicing it as he thought it would be, not after everything tonight. Or, perhaps the Mother has granted him a rare gift and is letting his fatigue untie his reserves.

Azriel’s hazel eyes widen, absorbing the dark of his Illyrian leathers, the sepia tinge to his room. Sooty lashes flutter, and Eris watches with rapt attention.

“You’d be okay with that?” He glances over his shoulder at the spread of Eris’s tousled bed; the emerald quilt and strewn, goose feather pillows.

Eris swallows thickly. Not in fear, not this time, but in pure, undiluted want. “I’ve never slept with anyone,” he whispers, “not like this.”

Azriel doesn’t say anything else, his gaze scans the room and its dim light. He turns with Eris’s wrist still in his hand, and walks toward the bed. It’s not weird—it should be weird, but all Eris can think of as he unbuttons his waistcoat and the restrictive, lavish layers of his ensemble is how comfortable he feels in the dark with him.

“You need trousers.” Eris says, already digging through his armoire for a folded pair of worn trousers he thinks might fit Azriel.

Azriel glances over at Eris with a quirked brow, he’s got one hand on the buttons on the front of his abdomen, undoing them with a practiced ease that comes from a lifetime of repetition. He shrugs the top off behind his back, where it slips in the space between his wings and falls to the floor. Eris watches with slightly parted lips as those great, membranous wings shudder like a hound shaking off its coat. They move in mesmerizing, miniscule ways; how Eris’s fingers would fidget and twitch, his knee bounce—he finds Azriel’s wings mimic those same involuntary patterns of being.

He shakes his head, handing Azriel the pair of trousers. “These should fit.”

“Thanks,” Azriel says, working them up his legs and then grunting when the hem of the legs come up to his calves. “Should?” He asks with a wry smirk.

“Shut up, those are old.” Eris fluffs out the quilt, resettling the pillows against the headboard and straightening the sheets.

Azriel is quiet as he helps fold the quilt over so he can slip into bed. “I’m sure.” He mocks gently, and gets a heavy goose down pillow to the face for it.

His face falls in affront, and no small amount of shock as he freezes half-way onto the mattress. “What—” his voice pitches up, and Eris claps a hand over his mouth where he’s sitting up against the headboard.

“Just get in, Azriel.” A huff comes from behind his palm, breath warming his skin, and he can feel how his lips pull down in a frown.

There’s only the quiet shuffle of fabric and skin. The growing, shifting darkness that cools when Eris blows out the candle when Azriel settles enough. Eris remains on his back, a stiffness solidifying against his spine the longer he lays in the dark with another body, another heartbeat and set of lungs right next to him.

The mattress bounces as Azriel moves again, a sigh falling from his mouth.

“Give me your hand.” He says.

Eris startles, eyes wide in the dark where he can feel his pulse in his sockets. “Why?”

“Give me your hand, Eris.”

Begrudgingly, Eris turns to his side, awkwardly holding his arm out into the dusk. The room only lit by the the silver strands of moonlight through the canopy outside his window.

Azriel’s touch is gentle, searching, he finds the tops of his fingers and starts a path down—it leaves Eris entirely breathless. Working against the burn in his chest and the clinging scent of cedar to breathe in deep.

Eris already knows what Azriel wants, but his heart still lurches up to his throat when his scarred hand circles his wrist.

“Tell me a truth, Eris.” It’s the second time he’s said his name in as many minutes. Eris needs him to say his name always, forever.

He inhales, filling his lungs till there’s a pinch and the releases it, letting his muscles and all the tension built in his bones melt into the mattress. The down pillow moulds to his head, and it feels like he’s sinking somewhere darkness won’t even reach.

He can’t tell if his eyes are closed or if the moon disappeared, but he says anyway to the shroud of shadows—to Azriel.

“Don’t be gone when I wake up.”

Sleep calls to him, a lullaby he hasn’t heard in full for so long. He barely feels Azriel’s fingers tighten around his wrist. He is, however, sent off to rest with the deep, ocean tide pull of his voice from the other side of the bed.

“I’ll be here.”

All there is in this endless sea of pillows and the soft cotton of his quilt is the heat of Azriel's knee that brushes against his, the clasp of his scarred fingers around his wrist. The rest, if there’s more, is null.

~~///~~///~~///~~

hey. hey look listen h ey maybe I just wanted my boys to be soft and say to hell with logic. is that so bad? no. I possess a physical inability to write anything lighthearted without the emotional weight - it haunts me. ALSO I have beef with Illyrian clothing and leathers bc what do you MEAN the buttons are down the back on the sides??? I'm sorry??? Behind big ass wings???? Why not have a wrap sort of style and then buttons or ties in the front panels, like on the sides of the abdomen. I digress, I hope you liked it I've got...things brewing for day four and it's. hm. we'll see ;]

[owliellder]

Handle with Care

Leon Kennedy x afab Demon! Reader

MDNI 18+

Description: Still brand new to working as a STRATCOM agent, Leon and another young agent are sent to investigate similar reports of a strange creature roaming a small town. (Taking place a year after RE2)

Warnings: Porn with plot, slight dub-con, no use of y/n, minor violence, guns, knives, a lil sprinkle of angst, swearing, manipulation, mentions of blood, non-detailed description of animal death.

Tags: Significant size difference, Dominant! reader, Submissive! Leon, enemies to lovers, unprotected p in v (wrap it up pls), semi-public sex, dirty talk, praise + degradation kink, neck biting, hickeys, begging, possessive behavior, spit kink, light choking, oral sex (cunnilingus and a slobbery blowjob), multiple orgasms, creampie, slight aftercare

this is my first fic, I have zero idea what I'm doing. I just needed some crazy self indulgence. pacing is probably super weird cause i'm really tired. kinda did this to stay awake at work. also this is not proofread, so if you see a super random word just know i'm sleep deprived and autocorrect is wack

It was late when Leon and another agent around his age, Trevor, were sent out to a small town neighboring Omaha, having been briefed on their task a couple days beforehand.

~

"...an easy task. I trust it won't take you two long to have it under control" an older man grumbled out, looking at the two young men sitting across from him at his desk as they looked over the vague information handed to them moments prior. The man leaned back in his office chair, letting out a low sigh at their worried looks. "You're not made to handle it yourselves, just have to follow protocol; call it in, keep the area secure, and the subject contained to the best of your abilities while you wait for us. Got it?"

Leon was the first to nod, which prompted Trevor to do the same, albeit less confidently. "Understood, Commander..." Leon responded, his voice wavering ever so slightly as the situation slowly dawned on him.

He hadn't dealt with anything like this since Raccoon City, which was still fresh in his mind. The screams, the blood, the bodies-

"I'm putting a lot of faith in the two of you." The commander's voice cut through Leon's thoughts, pulling him out of his small trance long enough to respond quickly. "Thank you for trusting us with this, Commander. We'll act accordingly."

~

Trevor was busy tapping his fingers against the steering wheel of the unmarked black SUV they were in, slowly driving around the empty streets of the town in search of their target. They had to remain vigilant, which meant no music. Talking, however, was allowed as long as they didn't discuss sensitive information.

"It's probably just some fucked up dog." Trevor said, keeping his focus on the road with an irritated look on his face. "I was talking with some of the others before we left and they all said these types of sightings always end up being nothing..."

Leon moved his gaze from the passenger window to his partner, his eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly. "Better to check it out than to leave it." he stated simply, his voice hushed. Don't get Leon wrong, he didn't want to be here either. It was already 1:20am and all he wanted to do was lay in his bed. He didn't feel ready enough for this, back out working to protect the people, but as an agent instead of a cop. He signed up to fight criminals, not horrors beyond his comprehension.

Trevor groaned, the car coming to a creeping halt in the middle of the two lane road as he dramatically slammed his forehead against the steering wheel. "I don't know, dude," he turned his head to look over at Leon, his lips pulled back in a thin line. "I just feel like we're being sent out on a wild goose chase. They have us training to handle the weirdest shit, yet they want us out here because 'we've had some sightings'?" Trevor sighed, lifting his head up slightly to throw the car into park before leaning back in the seat, his shoulders slumped. Leon nodded silently while giving the dramatic man an awkward look, slowly turning his head to look out the window again.

The SUV sat parked in the deserted street for over an hour before Leon spotted something out of the corner of his eye, lifting his head up from where it rested in his hand. He nudged Trevor, who was busy messing around with the pocket button on his shirt, before silently pointing his index finger towards the windshield.

"What? You see something?" Trevor asked, voice raspy from exhaustion. He squinted as he leaned forward, trying to focus on what Leon had pointed at. "I'm-.. I'm not seeing anything." Leon wiped under his left eye with an annoyed sigh at that, closing his eyes for a brief moment to collect himself. "In that parking garage across the block-" he leaned more towards Trevor, helping his gaze follow where he was pointing, "there's something moving up there. I can see light."

Trevor cocked an eyebrow as he finally spotted what Leon had been looking at, turning away to look at him questioningly. "....so?"

"So?! Are you serious?! Did you even read the file? This town has a curfew!"

"It's probably just some random homeless dude looking for a spot to set up."

"Even if it's just some random homeless dude, we're supposed to check out any activity we see tonight." Leon whispered harshly while he gestured for Trevor to start driving, which he did with an attitude.

The two drove over to the parking garage, Leon proudly noting the toll booth and the hours for the structure posted on a sign next to the barrier gate once they pulled up across the street. The other agent seemed less than impressed, shaking his head slightly as he parked the car, turned it off, and slipped out along with Leon.

They gave each other a quick once over, making sure they both had their proper equipment before stalking across the street and into the parking garage. Both flashlights now on, they cautiously looked around the empty parking garage, walking up the steep platform to the second level.

"I think I saw it on the third level, but they could've moved.." Leon whispered, his gun drawn in his right hand while the left sat over the right, holding the flashlight. Trevor nodded silently in acknowledgement, walking behind and slightly to the right of the Leon

The two men grew ever anxious as they made their way around the parking garage, slowing down their already cautious walk once the faint glow of a light could be seen hitting against the wall that held a single elevator and a door to a staircase. They paused briefly to give each other a quick glance before continuing on upwards, slowly rounding the corner while trying to remain as silent as possible.

Leon was the first to make it around the corner, if only by a second, before he quickly threw his hand back against Trevor's chest. He pushed the man back while stepping back himself, both hidden just around the corner by a large concrete support. Trevor gave him an incredulous look, though he made sure not to make any noise.

"There's something standing at the top." Leon whispered, clicking his flashlight off as he furrowed his eyebrows. The other agent followed suit, turning his flashlight off with a now very confused expression. "It was big. Looked like it was ducking underneath the beams.." Leon continued, his voice quieting even further.

Trevor leaned in so he could at least understand his partner, tilting his body to the right slightly to try and catch a glimpse of whatever he saw. "Okay, I'll uh-... let me head back down to the car so I can radio this in. Don't want the sound alerting whatever it is." he whispered back before nodding to himself.

"Yeah-..yeah, okay. I'll make sure it doesn't make a run for it." Leon responded, tucking the flashlight into its designated loop on his tactical belt as Trevor quietly shuffled back down the levels of the parking garage.

With his gun at the ready, Leon slowly peaked his head from the concrete support, trying to catalogue the details of the creature in his head as best as he could;

Over 8 feet tall, dark grey horns on its head.. those look like goat ears. what? ...muscular, broad shoulders... claws? Fur starting below the knees, cloven hooves, and is that a tail? Okay... is it not wearing clothes- what the hell am I looking at?

Leon's expression gradually turned more into a more baffled look as he took in the creature's features. He could only tell so much, considering its back was facing him. The fuck is it doing?

The young man figured his partner didn't want to radio him to tell him he alerted the higher ups, seeing as the sound might give away his position, so he remained in position.

...

He swore he only looked away for a second, but the creature had vanished, the faint sound of its hooves striking the pavement echoing through the parking garage. Assuming the creature was continuing to walk upwards, he quickly moved from his hiding spot to shuffle upwards, remaining slightly crouched down as he positioned his gun in front of him. Noticing the dead deer sitting near the corner of the lot, he grimaced. The poor thing was torn to shreds. Leon shook his head, focusing back on the task at hand as be pressed his back against the next concrete column that stood where the next corner was, taking a moment to breathe before cautiously peaking his head around it.

"Boo."

A face meeting his startled him backwards, almost losing the grip he had on his gun. He could hear a breathy laugh as he attempted to quickly reorient himself.

"You know I could hear you down there." You spoke with a smirk, standing upright fully so you were towering over Leon, looking down at him. "Im not deaf."

Leon shakily held his gun out towards you, taking quick steps back to add distance. "Stay-.. Stay right there! Don't move any closer or I'll-"

"You'll what? You'll shoot me? Gonna call for your friend?" Cutting him off with a low chuckle, you stared down at him with lidded eyes, smirk growing at his obvious fear. When he didn't respond, you took a large step closer to him which caused him to scramble back, almost tripping over himself.

You crouched down again, smirk slowly turning to a frown as you glared at him. "Thaaat's right. I didn't think so." There was a brief moment of silence before you took a couple quick steps forward, smacking the gun out of his hands with a snarl. It fell to the ground with a loud clatter, sliding numerous feet away.

Leon only had his knife left, but he was frozen with fear. Grabbing the front of his shirt, you yanked him upwards slightly as you tilted your head down to breathe him in, closing your eyes all the while. A low purr rumbled from your chest as you took in his scent, further burying your face into his neck before slowly pulling back to lick your lips.

He was stuck watching your obscenely long and pointy tongue poke out from your mouth, your sharp teeth and large canines on full display as you grinned at his scared expression. "You reek of fear. Not built for whatever job has you out here watching me."

With that, you let go of him. He fell to the floor with a pained gasp, his knees having buckled the moment you grabbed him.

You stood back up fully once more, staring down at Leon with an almost curious expression as he looked back up at you. He was on the verge of tears. He knew he wasn't ready to fight the infected again, but he wasn't expecting whatever you are to be so... different...

"What's the matter, sweet boy? Demon got your tongue?" You smirked again, hooves scraping against the pavement as you crept towards where he laid. He let out a small whimper, tears beginning to fall from his eyes as he watched you move closer. Once your hooves sat where his feet were, you let out a sigh, expression softening.

You hunched over, carefully unclipping his tactical belt from his waist before tossing it in the general direction his gun went minutes ago. Leon closed his eyes with a soft sob, expecting the worst as you now stood right over the top of him. Instead, he felt your large hand gently caress his cheek, wiping away the tears that fell.

Looking up at you through watery eyes, he sniffled, bottom lip trembling as he gave you a confused look. "I know I should just kill you now, but god, you're probably the most adorable human I've seen." You hummed, shifting slightly so your knee sat between his legs when you crouched down. "Got that cute pouty lip, pretty eyes..." your voice trailed off slightly as you complimented the frightened agent laying underneath you.

Leon was even more confused now, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as you continued to stroke his cheek. He didn't try to move out from underneath you, but he wanted to.

"I can tell you're just a fragile one." You spoke, your voice falling to a low growl. "Shouldn't be working with things like me. You'll get hurt..." Leon let out a gasp as you suddenly grabbed the tops of his clothed thighs, pulling him closer to you. "W-wait! Wait! Wait!" He yelled, finally willing his hands to move so he could try and pull yours from his legs. "D-don't-!"

You shushed him softly, hunching over him so your face was right above his. Your sharp claws dug into his thighs as you tightened your grip, not enough to break skin but enough to be uncomfortable. "I won't hurt you, sweet thing. Just wanna get a better look at you..."

As you began to run your hands up from Leon's thighs to his waist, he couldn't help but look down towards your hands, his brain suddenly processing the fact that your naked and very human-like! Despite the demonic features, of course. Your breasts were fully in view to him, and though your crotch was also in view, it was covered in a thick patch of fur.

"H-hey, don't- what are you doing...?" Leon spoke, his voice shaky and hushed. Growing awkward with the strange situation, he began to squirm a bit under your touch, the flush on his cheeks from his crying quickly deepening with embarrassment.

"Stop moving.." You growled into his ear, voice low and commanding. You watched your hands trail around his body, claws snagging quite a few times on the fabric of his clothes. You took the opportunity to bury your face into his neck again, breathing in his sweet musk.

Leon had no idea what was going on. Obviously this was better than being mauled to death, but he wasn't trained for *this*. Aggressive monsters he could handle, what was he suppose to do with the ones that apparently want to seduce him? He was hoping Trevor would come back soon, but he probably decided to wait outside the parking garage to make sure this beast didn't make a run for it.

"C-can I just-?" "No." You were quick to cut him off, face still buried in his neck while you felt him up.

He'd be lying if he said the attention wasn't making him hard, even if the situation was weirding him out. He hadn't touched himself in over a year since all he felt was shame and guilt every time he tried, the trauma Raccoon City caused really did a number on his psyche.

Your hands were warm, large, Leon didn't know how he felt about it. He was only a couple inches away from being 6 feet, but there was something about having a beast that was so much bigger touch him this way. It was freeing.

The sound of Leon's static filled radio echoing from across the pavement caused you to turn your head to look over at it, those goat ears of yours perking up as you listened. Kinda cute for a demon. "Looks like your friend is calling for you.." you whispered, slowly standing up while bringing him up with you by the collar of his shirt.

You dragged him over to the radio, yanking it from the belt before holding it up to mouth. "Go on. Why don't you tell him you've got it under control?" your voice was so sultry now. It made him shiver.

Leon did as he was told, watching you press the button so he could tell Trevor that he lost track of you and that he was going to survey the rest of the parking garage's levels before coming back down. You listened with a smirk as Trevor quickly responded back, acknowledging his decision.

You let the radio fall once it went silent, what sounded like a purr rumbling from your throat as you wrapped your arms loosely around his chest, hands pressed flat against his pecs with clawed fingers splayed out. "Good boy, Leon..." you cooed into his ear, having heard his name when Trevor responded through the radio.

Leon swallowed dryly at your praise, his blush immediately returning before looking down at your hands, watching as you began to unbutton his shirt. "Come on now... Let me take care of you.."

Something must be laced with your voice cause it was really starting to fog his mind. He should be scared, fighting for his life, shouting for help, anything, but he couldn't. He was too focused on the way your hands felt against his now exposed skin, helping you as you gently pulled his shirt off his shoulders and out from where it was tucked into his pants.

The agent let you guide him back down to the ground, watching as you unbuttoned his pants, sitting propped up on his elbows. The hook on your claw grabbed the hole in his zipper, pulling it down slowly. You instructed him to lift his hips, and from there, both his pants and boxers were swiftly tugged down and tossed aside.

It was a warmer night, thank god, so he didn't have to worry about freezing to death. Gave him room to worry about those claws as your hand wrapped around his dick. He groaned weakly at your grip, eyes closing partially as his blush spread down to his exposed chest.

"Such a pretty cock, but I wouldn't expect anything else from a pretty boy like you." You chuckled lowly, your breath hot against his dick as you languidly stroked it. Before he knew it, your tongue had come back out of your mouth to take the place of your hand, wrapping it around his shaft.

It was such an intense feeling; the way the tip of his cock sat against your tongue in your mouth, how it wriggled around every inch of his thick sex, the amount of drool that oozed from your mouth, running down your tongue so it absolutely coated him. The wet sound it made was so obscene.

Leon covered his mouth with his left hand while the right weakly gripped one of your horns, wanting to muffle his whimpers and moans so they wouldn't echo and alert the other agent just outside. He still babbled on quietly; "F-fuck..ple-ase, thatfeelssogood-.. fuck! oooh god... pleasepleaseplease-..!"

You chuckled softly, moving your head down to wrap your mouth fully around his cock, continuing to work your tongue around it as you sucked simultaneously. You repeated the process a few times, pulling your head back to stroke him with your tongue before sucking again. His noises were so pathetic, it was adorable.

Eventually, you pulled your head away fully, tongue slowly unraveling from his cock with a breathy laugh. Leon whined loudly, looking absolutely spent, his face fully flushed pink and his eyes closed, now fully laying back against the rough pavement. You hadn't let him finish, he was so close.

"You taste as sweet as you look..." You hummed, licking your lips to savor the taste of the man. It was easy to manhandle to sit up on his knees, watching in a trance as you turned around, laying your chest flat against the ground as you kept your ass lifted up. "Come on, baby boy. Let's put that mouth of yours to good use.."

Your tail, long and thick, snaked around Leon's neck, squeezing ever so gently as you used it to pull his face down into your crotch. He groaned, bringing his shaking hands up to part the fur covering your cunt before quickly starting to lap at your folds, whimpering at the taste.

You smiled, letting out a soft sigh as he moved his hand underneath to circle your clit with his thumb. You made sure to keep your tail wrapped around his neck, keeping his face firmly pressed into your pussy. He was good with his mouth, whimpering and moaning into you every time you praised him;

"Good boy..."

"Doing such a good job for me.."

"That's right, use that pretty mouth."

"Bet you look adorable, all messy and pussydrunk.."

Leon felt so good, weakly stroking his cock with one hand while he kept your pussy parted with the other, his lips and chin wet with your slick as he continued to eat you out sloppily. He was soaking up your words like a sponge, it's been so long since he'd been taken care of like this. Who knew all he needed was a bit of some domineering attention? Doesn't really matter if it's coming from a demon or not, apparently.

His dick was still fully covered in your saliva, making it all the more nicer to stroke it while he tended to you. The feeling of your tail wrapped around his neck, your sultry voice speaking words of encouragement, the taste and smell of your cunt, and the way his hand thrusted lazily over his cock caused his orgasm to quickly build up, whispering rambled nonsense as he spurted cum across the floor underneath you with weak moans and shuddering breaths.

You cooed, moving your tail from around his neck down to his waist, pulling him up so he was standing on his knees and not sitting back on his haunches anymore. He moved his hands up to stabilize himself, holding tightly onto your hips with a dazed expression.

"Felt good, didn't it, handsome?" You whispered, prompting him to nod lazily as he stared down at your ass, moving his right hand to grab at the base of your tail. Wonder how that works..

You chuckled, furry ears tilting back to listen in on him easier. "Well don't leave me hanging, baby. I can feel you pressing against my leg.." You pulled him closer with your tail, causing his dick to grind against the inside of your thigh.

Leon groaned at that, so sensitive from his orgasm barely a minute ago. He was already rock solid again, letting his hands feel around your ass for a moment before standing up a bit so he could position himself at your leaking hole. He steadied his hands, gripping your hips tightly as he pushed himself into you slowly.

Despite being vastly bigger than him, you were still so tight, wrapping around his cock so good, all warm and soft inside. He let out a long and drawn out whine, throwing his head back as he clenched his teeth. "I-oh god you're so soft-..f-fuck! So wet.. hghh~.. shitshitshit-" He trembled as he began to thrust, drooling onto your lower back a bit as he worked himself in and out.

Leon's pace rapidly sped up, the sound of wet skin slapping and your moans echoing quietly as he was brought closer to another orgasm. He was still reeling from the first one, moving his right hand up to tightly grab the base of your tail again to use as leverage for his fast and sloppy thrusts.

He came again with a strangled cry, feeling your silky walls milk him dry. It had been so long since he'd even cum once. His body continuing to tremble as he carefully slipped his overly sensitive cock out of your entrance, whimpering quietly with every ragged breath he let out. You let your tail slowly slip from around him so he could lay back against the concrete column, standing up with a satisfied hum as his cum dribbled out of you.

Seconds later, you began to collect his abandoned clothing, giving him the few moments to calm down and recollect himself a bit. Once you had gathered all of his items, you helped him redress, even buttoning up and tucking his shirt into his pants for him. All he could do was stare at your hands as they fixed him up, dazed and tired.

"There we go. Back to looking all professional." You giggled, bending down a bit to nip at Leon's neck. His hands immediately flew into your hair, moaning as you licked and sucked at his adam's apple. You pulled away soon after to admire your work as the hickeys already began to show, a few red indents left from your sharp teeth.

"If anyone asks, you won the fight. Okay, baby boy?"

[zesaladz]

GHOULS GHOULS GHOULS GH-

I just felt the need to doodle this mask again bc god it just looks so cool i love it, i didn’t have a specific ghoul in mind here so maybe it’s phantom- we can go w that :PP (if u saw this before when i posted it on accident NO U DIDNT)

ALSO IMPORTANT THINGS ABT ME DOWN THERE ⬇️

ok i’m just gunna talk abt myself really quick so first off i APOLOGIZE FOR NOT HAVING LOTS OF ART/JUST BAD QUAL ART- a lil fact about me is i have to do chemo treatments every month for some wack stuffs i have goings on

i am 4 weeks late on my infusion and i am feeling it BADDDDD!!!!! and i should be going to the hospital tomorrow for my treatment, but once you miss it then it feels like restarting from the very beginning so plz bare w me as i’m going to be p sick for the next couple of days :(((

take this apology of me on my knees:

ITS THE LEAST I CAN OFFER RN, so gn everyone, all ur comments and replies and asks make me so happy i love reading them u all are so nice, HAVE GOOD DAYS ILY 🤟

[risingsuntarot]

1--2

3

What are you currently not seeing ?

My lord I'm so sorry I've been gone for so long I kinda jus felt so unmotivated and kinda went hermit mode for quite a while so I apologize for my absence!! Anyways I wanted to make a come back with a reading regarding being trapped, blinded or stuck on something that is unfortunately, hindering your process ;+(

Also * will indicate a reversal from here on out also only three piles because I wanted to get this out ASAP !!

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Pile 1

---Cards pulled---

5 of Coins/4 of Wands*/The magician

3 of coins*/The Moon

---Clarification---

9 of coins/9 of Swords/The hierophant

Ace of wands/3 of wands

There is most likely a financial or material issue happening, I heard "just enough to get by"

It looks like you lack in what you currently need as well? But despite this you are content or try to come off that way

Maybe you just moved into your own apartment recently? Or now have to pay rent or something along those lines

A new responsibility within your family/home life too

There's a lack of confidence here especially within self and home life

Something or someone in your home isn't making you feel quite safe? Or you get nightmares about them (if this is the case please seek help!!) that might be a very specific message BUT Could also be ready as you may be dealing with flashbacks at this time due to financial or material loss !! Maybe you grew up in poverty or an unstable home? Or your parents/caregivers weren't able to provide necessities?

It looks like with the magician and the hierophant there is a gift on the horizon or a very promising belief or like system? Maybe a change in routine or spending habits and thinking will help tremendously

I see that on your end for some your guides are frustrated with your lack of effort and motivation to make your thousands of ideas a reality

They absolutely love your creativity tho don't get me wrong

Maybe you have a hard time focusing right now and have many great ideas to put into place but lack motivation or resources as well so this leads to lack of movement or commitment

Sadness, restless emotions and late sleepless nights are prominent here, someone may deal with insomnia here but y'all sleep schedule is wack (same tho)

Feeling blocked and frustrated >:+(

---ORACLE/ADVICE---

Summer - "Bask in Joy and Light"

"Rise up, open your wings and shine. Bring your projects and plans into into the light, into manifestation" as soon as I opened the guidebook lil

DEADASS do that's just that, start off easy with a lobes hobby, draw something new or listen to a new genre, learn that new music sheet that has been challenging you or even get into a new type of skill to re motivate you !!

This also indicates summer may be your time of change!! New opportunities, new memories maybe even knew people

I feel like this is the perfect time to go outside, bask in sunlight and enjoy a nearby park or go on a nature hike, try meeting new people at libraries, bars or events even book clubs?

I'm getting a message to connect more with water so swimming or maybe even kayaking?

The big message here is try something n e w but I'm also being told to "loosen up" I'm tensing up a lot with this reading

Bumble bees maybe significant to someone :+) or honeycombs cereal? Lmao honey and bee related things here

---Channeled Songs---

Ego brain - SOAD

"You see my pain is real

Watch my world dissolve

And pretend that none of us see the fall

As I turned to sand

You took me by the hand

And declared, that love prevails over all"

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Pile 2

---Cards pulled---

Temperance/9 of Wands/Ace of cups*

Knight of Coins/6 of Wands

---Clarification---

5 of Coins/The Lovers*/8 of Coins

The Moon/Queen of Wands

Okay so there's a sense for reluctance from this pile tbh like to fully acknowledge the truth

I keep wanting to say what happened so you may be being asked this question a lot

For one there is guilt over either healing and moving on or from not healing and moving on from a difficult situation but for most it's a romantic connection

I feel like voices were silenced, and you were constantly fighting for you right to be heard, seen or acknowledged fairly

It was a toxic dynamic that you still look back on to this day but almost feel indifferent but it seems it's just suppressed emotions and memories that you have yet to actually acknowledge

You seem to be a BIT too logical with what happened, like everything was supposed to be this way even this you didn't at all anticipate it if that makes sense

Like you knew what it was exactly, no bs and people tried convincing you otherwise

It looks like someone may come to you to talk about what happened although you may be reluctant to actually open up and speak on your side or even acknowledge that it hurts

It's like you go on about your day with a heavy rain cloud over your head and this person can see :+(

it maybe a friend to help you through this for some possibly offering you a type of hype sesh or even help you glow up a bit even if it's confidence lol

---ORACLE/ADVICE---

Wolf- "Take care of your needs"

I feel like you definitely need rest here, this card says "Do everything you need to do to be at your best, Then move beyond your fears and limitations"

it feels like a state of I can FINALLY get some rest from running and running and running

You've been in survival mode for so long or you just genuinely feel exhausted from the expectations around you or the trauma in your past

Know that's it's okay to just chill out and it's okay to be on your own for a while it's all part of the process, in fact I believe your guides are asking you to spend time with yourself more

Self care and YouTube days are recommend :+))

---Channeled Songs---

Around the fur - Deftones

"Please don't fuck around and die like this

'Cause I love her"

Brand new numb - Motionless in white

"All of my flaws, I wear 'em with honor

A purple heartbreak for all we've suffered"

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Pile 3

---Cards pulled---

The Hierophant*/King of cups/4 of Swords

Wheel of fortune/5 of wands*

---Clarification---

Ace of Swords*/5 of Swords/Queen of Coins

The Hermit*/Queen of Cups

This may be a more masculine in terms of energy for this pile but I'll still read the same

So it seems there was a hypocrisy or an act that went against your morals and you were quick to act and deliver your opinion... "sharply"

You stood your ground and what you believed in in your heart despite the haters lol, and despite the arguments or how many people you had to leave behind something about conflict here

Although the way you did this was quite nonchalantly and someone was not a fan I'm picking up on black hair and green for the description for some reason

This person tends to be the center of attention? Or is very attractive, or maybe even a bit out of place almost ? But you not caring is pissing them off

I see there's gonna be change to the situation but someone may have to trail off onto their own path :+( a bit shunned almost but it's a high probability it's this other person

It's possible someone with the same morals and values as you is helping the conflict "die out" but not caring or almost standing in solidarity

---ORACLE/ADVICE---

High Priest - "Intend and Create"

"Recognize you have the power to change you life. Face your fear and align with the light"

Kind of a plain message but with this card I am getting that you can literally move anyway you want with this and just move on

It seems your intentions were nothing but pure in the end so no Karma was ever delivered to you

How unfortunate for the other person :+pp

It also seems some may follow in your path a bit here but spirits asking you to reach out to someone like a teacher for further guidance if you feel stuck

---Channeled Songs---

Riptide - Grandson

"I've tried getting better, did all of the twelve steps

Whoever would'a thought? Whoever could've guessed?"

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

[creative-creatures]

I, for one, would love to hear any MLP Total Drama headcanons you want to share!

Cool! Sorry I'm so late to respond! College is wack...

if anyone is curious: This is the OG post BTW!

I guess a few to start with would be team escope + owen.

I feel Owen would be besties with Pinkie Pie, y'know? Like they would bake together and sing funny lil songs together. Bro would stop by everyday (with a disgruntled Noah in tow) and by one of everything. He might even become the SugarCubes Corner number 1 fanboy! All that aside I think he would also be a pegasus who sometimes bonds with Fluttershy. I feel he’d mostly stick with Pinkie and Cheese but you never know. I think Rarity won't entirely like his manors though. Honestly out of the main cast I think he’d get along with everypony well besides Rarity, and maybe sometimes a jealous Rainbow. His cutie mark would be a stack of pancakes with a heart shaped butter piece on top.

As for Izzy, yeah… she's going anywhere Owen goes. She’d likely get along well with Rainbow too. I feel she would prank the entirety of Ponyville endlessly. I don't believe she would be very popular, maybe sometimes being seen as a villain, due to that. She’d get along with Discord though. Out of the main cast I feel her strongest relationships would be with Rainbow and Pinkie… Flutters might fear her and Applejack might be suspicious of her. I feel she may also just start chaos at random points to see what happens (Ex: blowing up a cottage or smth). I do feel she would drag Eva along as well. She would also be a pegasus with a TNT surrounded with swirls cutie mark.  

Eva is probably also gonna be seen as a bit of a bad guy. Ponies, to my knowledge, are a lot more fragile than the folks of Total drama… and if Eva makes those lads uncomfortable I can only feel remorse for the ponies. Still love Eva though. I think she, along with Noah, would be the only one working so she pays for half of the rent. I believe she would insist on having the groups house on the outskirts of town, something Noah and eventually Izzy would agree to. She would commonly be found near ponies who work out or do anger therapy. Out of the main cast I believe her most stable relationships would be with Applejack, Fluttershy and Starlight. She and Shy could work on therapeutic methods together, She would probably offer to help the Apples often and she would bond with Starlight over their tendencies to lash out. I don't think she’d get along very well with any of the rest besides possibly Twilight and Pinkie. Pinkie is a given since she likes everyone (Except Noah since she cant get him to smile) and Twilight might be intrigued by Eva. The alicorn might attempt to help her reach out and get more comfortable as herself. She would probably work at a gym, as a personal trainer like Iron Will or as a guard. She’d be an earth pony with 3 dumbbells popping out of a bag as a cutie mark. 

Noah being the only other one of the gang to be working would probably spend most of his time doing just that, albeit half-assed. I like to think that he’d work at a library, antique shop, cafe or as a detective. He would spend most of his time to himself, unless dragged out by Izzy or Owen, which might worry Twilight. I feel he and Twilight would have a frienemies relationship with their love of books but different outlooks on life. He would most definitely be seen as a villain by the townsfolk, or at least a untrustworthy guy, which would lead to him and sometimes his friends being outcasted. I think he would shoulder a lot of guilt for that but not try to get better in the belief that he simply can't. I don't think any of the main cast would be patient enough to deal with him besides Applejack. He’d have a small friend group of mostly wackos and bond with the apple farmer over that.  I feel Discord would take an interest in him though…

Tell me if you wanna hear more MLP x TD headcannons!

[lupins-hehim-pussy]

Hi i have sigewinne thoughts id like to hear your takes on

It is established that sigewinne is in the fortress wayyyy before wrio because she was also incarcerated for something right (or maybe she just has weird lingo that makes it SOUND like she committed a crime idk). And its still unclear exactly when she went from being an inmate to a working nurse (could be the same as wrio or she was also one of the people who chose to stay in meropide after her sentence is over who knows).

But like the warden before wrio is horrible iirc. And idk man horrible warden would equal unhappy, starving, desperate, and violent (and most importantly DEAD!) prisoners right?

I know melusines has this higher being-esque distant way of how they view humanity. They talk about humans being adorable like how humans would describe pets and animals. Im not saying its in a deragotory way, but theyre... a lil bit tone deaf because of it ya know. Like they KNOW they should do good for good sake but not exactly comprehend that good would make humans feel good (sedene literally went 'ah yes i remember that when humans are sad, you feed them, then theyre not sad!)

Do you think sigewinne would just... people watch? Would help humans that approach her yeah but she just... is aware that the humans around her are the sad and the hungry. And they are just less so when the warden changed? I doubt ANYONE would stay in meropide after their sentence during the previous warden era, but her staying solely to people watch and keep them healthy isnt.... that... farfetched.

And i love sigewinne, would probably need that level of distance to be a tiny nurse in a fortress of criminals. I just wonder how she is during the previous warden era because i dont really see her getting along with them either (or the warden kept her around for free labour who knows)

Sorry for the late reply, my social spoon has been low. The yap machine broke LOL

ANYWAY the melusines. I do honestly think Genshin Often write themselves into a hole with how they want to keep things "light" while still ... doing ... dark crazy shit. Putting a Melusine in Jail. Why. And also genshin's writer team is just... not good. But we have been through that I've rambled At Length about what I think there so.

Here's specific thoughts about Sigewinne.

Firstly............ what? I haven't touched new content since Fontaine MSQ finished, disclaimer, so I'm just taking your word for it. Secondly, making Sigewinne an ex convict is just so immensely Dumb of Mihoyo because that meant. Neuvillette had to sentence her. Right?? And how is That not more prominent to his story than him having to sentence Vautrin or even Wriothesley for that matter, given how he canonically feels about the Melusines and their safety. Sending one of them to Prison, where all of the Bad Guys who Hates Him and would kill the Melusines to get back at him. would ... have to fuck him up. Like he reacted so severely to just Hate Mail. How was Sigewinne's story Not At All impactful to his?

This is almost surely a Teams Not Communicating and/or Mihoyo Haven't Released Her So Everything About Her is Under Wraps thing. Which also makes no sense because.................. Wriothesley's sentence was literally referenced by that file on Neuvillette's desk. Which by the way is insane like sir it has been years. Put it away. But did they do anything like that for Sigewinne? I dunno. Haven't played in ages. The fact that she works down there At All is kinda wack if you consider how protective Neuvillette is.

So........ like... were the Melusines around even Before he was Iudex? He only brought them out of the water and into Fontaine but it's not stated that they're actually younger than him... or younger than 500 years right....... Was she sentenced by the Previous Archon? How can MHY tell a story that says so much and yet answers nothing.

Anyway, about Sigewinne and the Melusines' inaction specifically, I don't actually mind too much. They are so extremely different from humans in terms of how they age and what their maturity looks like, and that it's not too hard for me to grasp that they're just gonna act in ways that make them seem................... so out of touch. This layer actually adds so much to them in my mind in terms of how their immortality works compared to say, the Adepti, and how their emotions and memory function. I once had a thought that because they are so unaffected by loss and death all around them that they might... literally... be one of the only immortal species on Teyvat that is immune to corrosion lol. Or at least, the emotional anguish kind. In the sense they're almost like slimes. Where they just:

1. Don't recall their history with much intensity at all (that one melusine literally forgot Carole died. Or maybe it wasn't made clear to her that one of them just vanished. Maybe a lot more Melusines have died than we thought).

2. Don't care. #Live in the moment.

3. Don't ruminate (I literally said this in my fic funnily enough AHAHAHA).

Like if anyone in Fontaine is truly seriously impartial to humans, its them. Their ability to be so detached to suffering looks Frightening to outsiders (layering on their history with discrimination here lmao) but in actuality, if you consider that they're legitimately another species with a different brain, you'd be able to see their behaviour through less of a moral lense. It's literally as if they don't fully comprehend life and death— even Carole doesn't seem to fully understand death itself. And they forget things (Elynas, their 'father') which is arguably Not Erosion (forgetting small stuff is normal, and if you live as long as they do, yeah, you're better off forgetting things from 298274 years ago). Even if they remember it's probably like. Oh, that was sad! Anyway, what was I doing?

They just don't. Ruminate. They aren't built like that.

And I don't think that means that they don't care. They're just genuinely very different from humans in how they think and feel. And I refrain from saying "they're autistic" or "emotionally stunted" because these are human conditions and human terms, even if I very much frame my understanding of them through my understanding of these other human conditions. Which is why Neuvillette isn't exactly autistic either. But it's very Hard to say in his case because there's not exactly. Other Water Dragons for us to compare to and see if his cognitive/emotional abilities are Different from them (Unless it's modern au. In which yeah, he is lmao). But all the Melusines have this sort of detachment as if like, emotionally, they don't have... the trauma function basically. Or at least not one that's comprehensible to us.

So in my head, I do think Sigewinne tries her best, but she just simply isn't as emotionally charged by her experiences as, say, Wriothesley. She worked in Meropide while Wriothesley was sentenced there, so she did work under the previous warden as well, and I'm sure she did her job Well and she had her own way of caring for people but if they drop dead... genuinely, I think she'd just be like. "Aw, how sad. Anyway, I have other people to treat." Which, arguably, makes her a much more efficient nurse LMAO.

And it may seem so cruel to people do view her through a humanistic lense, but if you see it as like, if she's reached the level of enlightenment that Buddhist practitioners could only Dream of, and she's able to literally let these heavy events wash over her without letting it affect her, all while still being a caring being, this all would hopefully feel less uncomfortable. I do genuinely think she cares, but her emotional range and cognition just reaches. This point. Which is fine and doesn't make her inherently a bad character or person, I think.

I do literally think she can sit down with someone grieving and be like, "I understand that you are going through a process, and I will let you process things at your own rate, while I administer care as well as I can."

And they can be like, "Why don't you give a shit that they died?!!"

And she'd be like, "Would me feeling worse bring them back?"

Then, depends on how they react, she would continue like. "Unfortunately I do not feel things the same way that you do, and I do understand that humans often want their conversation partners to be able to relate to them, to feel as though they aren't alone in their feelings. Perhaps if you attend the memorial later, you'd be able to find those who can grieve with you. But if you feel any pain, or need any medicine, I will be here to help you!"

Yknow like. She's not Unkind. But she's very much... not gonna feel the same way about death as her patients. If anything this might make her the Best Suited person to be in charge of care in Meropide, and she might have already figured that out herself, and was like, "Monsieur Neuvillette, only I can do this without going insane. Please let me do this."

And he's like............... (shaking with fear for her) "Alright."

[lagncx]

Lord HEISEINBERG head canon

Neil newbon bless him and the amazing work he’s done. Says he leaves his characters open for us to make head canons well here’s mine!

——-

So like the little simp I am I go and get karls bonus figure and I also get the mutated one cause I think it’s cool. I’m over here like mmmm he’s so sexy “oh he’s so hawt” he listens to asmr with people hitting frequency metal bowls >///<

But nothing could take me from the reality that his mutation form (I would still impregnate him idc) is huge and hideous (nuh uh) and he literally has a dislocated jaw and a wire mustache that’s a crazy rebellion weapon but anyways! Rip to the metal army btw when we run from strum and fall in that trash chute I feel in my heart and my belly! He sleeps there In mutated form and if you were his significant other he’d probably be like “I uh- made this room for you” and for weeks you’d wake up with him gone late at night but you were just cuddling so you go looking and strum the lil guy just kinda stomps towards the chute and waves his little nubs down there cause you ordered to know where your iron giant was and there he was in…all…ALL his glory snoring and you weren’t sure if this was moldy metal or a being but then you saw the face and the mustache/beard(?) gave it away and you kissed strum’s engine hopping down and falling on luckily a flat board making him shake and the sound of metal groaning as he got up and his head snaked it’s way over to look at you your face was looking at him like

So he thought you were disgusted and I know he can use his words but imma say he can’t and can only groan so he kinda just hides away cause in my mind he can’t change back so quickly but poor baby was showing his true self this monster he didn’t even CHOOSE TO BE!!! FUCKING MIRANDA HURTING MH FUCKING BABY HIM AND SALVATORE AND ALCINA AND DONNA FUCKING DONNA THAT BITCH! AND ETHAN! (Sorry.) so you kinda just climb over this hazard space cutting yourself a few times but you’re no bitch and your right next to his face (I’m literally looking at his form as we speak on my tv) and you hesitantly give it a small kiss and for you it’s like a weird gooey taste but for Karl he tastes love! Woo! You’re not afraid of him !!! And for him that meant so much he knew he’d marry you, give you kids. HAVE YOUR KIDS anything! Open a jar of pickles…have you open the jar of pickles. Both of you not being able to so you both decide to just break it and eat pickles picking off any small shards of glass and kiss after with hot pickle breath. But this damn hazard place was freezing so you kinda looked around shaking and your face was like

So Karl kinda has this fuckass engine that heats him up so you kinda scoot closer that nasty ass goo (if you look closely at the figure the cadou…cado…fuck it. It’s moving. So after like an hour of silence and many questions you stick your hand in his separated jaw and for some fucking reason there’s a fuck ass spinning blades thing like a blender and you scream cause you get knicked but he kinda shakes in a way that he’s laughing. And you roll your eyes. Did you sleep down there? HE HE HELL NAH! But you didn’t like sleeping alone so you did cause you brought the mattress down (by yourself! Ducking soldats only got up for threats they kinda just watch you struggle.) and you laid on that wack mattress with a tiny blanket and you forgot the fucking pillow but it ok cause Karl kept breathing on you so that engine output had to come out somewhere SO YEA HES A HEATER TOO! erm…this is so silly and stupid. Karl when you like his form (you never said you liked it but hey you don’t hate it):

A song that fits this….hm. Oh yea swv use your heart

-Use your heart, and not your EYES- you gotta use your heart to love this man I mean his human form looks a little dirty but he is truly beautiful. In mutation and out

[graviconscientia]

fashionably late as ever. but addie outfit and notes about hashtag maryam party beach

forgive me for wack ass proportions and shit. one day i'll be Good. anyway. teal and red and her lil details for her loves. big ass scrunchie (my new favourite thing) and the trollenciaga shades (lie)

things of note!

actual chess with @gho2ty, chess barbies with @err505 which are both the right ways to play. (stalemate with g2 but HORSE KISSING TIME with lux)

flirting and making out in some sort of foliage with @ocnkng no i am not joking that is SOOOOO FUNNY TO ME rizzglare strikes again

a lot of hanging out with kanaya's kids because they're cool and also she misses her own kids SO BAD.

she absolutely hugged everyone who was okay with that kind of greeting, especially the people she's never seen in person before. (looking at you @yifftwiceplz straight up squishin dave for a long time. respectfully nodding at dirk tho. not as boa constrictor-esque of a hug if he wanted it.)

if u think you saw her steal away with equius? you did. but no you didn't.

if you think you saw her flirting with gram? yeah u absolutely did

she didn't bring anything for food (INSANE I KNOW she was very upset about it too) but she did bring a solid amount of rum for everyone. and then her own lil flask in her bag. just in case.

she did talk to all of the hosts...

there was a lil swimming very close to the shore, a lil bit of watching volleyball, helping on the grill if asked, sitting at the bonfire at the end of the night, flitting around where there was space for her. she left feeling very funky and kind of sad, but like. that's what happens after parties sometimes. :(

if there was something specific you wanted our characters to do, let me know! it was a long day so lots of things could have happened. and she's very social so. Anything Could Have Happened.

also shout out to @terminallycapricious i loved your gram notes so i hope you don't mind me taking inspo from them! i thought the things you noted were great! so. i did the same!!

[angelpuns]

Alr! RA has done a little googling and reading and so far what I've found is it probably isn't time blindness, but general time distortion. So according to this psychology website I found generally time awareness and such are, as most things are, connected to dopamine and we all know certain things (adhd, ptsd, autism, really most mental illnesses/disabilities) mess up your dopamine levels (it's also connected to norepinephrine which is basically adrenalin), so the main thing I saw that messed with your perception of time is waiting for something that gives you a boost of those. Generally it's a pretty common experience for it to feel like getting what you want is taking forever, but because with most of the previously listed disabilities/illnesses, a person would tend to get hyperfocused on what they want and it'll also feel like it's taking forever. It could also happen at random because again, with those, your dopamine levels especially are all out of wack and when that's messed up, everything controlled by it is messed up too, hence the time distortion. That's just what I found, I'm taking a psychology course this year in highschool so I'll ask if we can talk about that a bit too! :3 hope that helps a little.

Ahhh that makes sense. I've been like this since I had a big thing happen back in October ( thankfully it also coincided with me getting into tmnt so yay ) so it makes sense that waiting for something good to happen is messing with my funny lil head :)

It really does feel like things are passing me by sometimes even though some of them happen say of and I just??forget :///

Oh well, it is what it is. Hopefully when I get my own space again my mental health will start being a bit better.

Thank you RA!!! I usually look into this stuff myself, but I've got a lot less spoons lately than I usually do ;-;

I hope you enjoy your class!!!! Tyyyy

[cornflowershade]

thanks for tagging me @distant-screaming <333

Current time: 12:18pm

Current activity: Making some tea 🫖

Currently thinking about: ...how I don't want to go to work today lol. I love what I do but today I feel yicky (hence the tea) so I'm not looking forward to leaving my house. Especially since I have to be there for an extra hour bc of a staff meeting.

Current favourite song: c'mon I don't do favorites 😭 I've been liking Ordinary by Tilly Birds a lot though! :D

Currently reading: Wish I had something interesting to put here but uh. I'm not currently reading anything.

Currently watching: The Shipper! This show is WACK. And I love it. It's just. So wild, and funny. Also, First's acting is literally SO good. The way he sells the body swap I just. AGH. Also cute lil Ohm is there. And Jennie. It's a good time and I appreciate how unpredictable it is. It's been my little happy evening watch lately.

Current favourite character: I think this was my answer last time I got tagged in one of these but. Ray from Only Friends. He's just so!! <3

Current WIP: I have a few fanvids in progress. Not gonna say they're still going at a promising pace but, I want them to be done so bad! I have a really fancy fun edit going to New Rules for SandRay & NickBoston. I also have a Buffy Summers edit going.

Aside from that I have a few fics but—while I certainly haven't given up on them—I'm not sure I'd call them WIPs considering the amount of time it's been since I last touched them.

Other things I've been working on include writing down Thai words I know on flashcards, which has been a fun if time-consuming process! It's a personal goal of mine to work on learning Thai. I've actually never learned a second language but have always wanted to, so it's rather special to me! I don't know a ton yet but I'm proud that I haven't given up on it. And it's honestly so satisfying when I'm watching something or listening to music and realize I understood something small without having to read subs, or understand a teeny tiny joke that wouldn't come across in English.

Besides that, I was doing a giant WIP in October which I didn't get that far on, but that's making the floofy Wednesday Addams dress. I've at least finished drafting a really nice fitted undershirt and making most of the detailed leather belt with a thick pleather material I had—it just needs to be assembled but I didn't do that bit yet bc my sewing machine was having issues for a while there (anyway I cut out 110 little shapes for the belt by hand with an xacto knife bless my SOUL). Hopefully I'll get back to the project when I'm feeling more energetic again!

Alright, tagging some lovely mutuals :D @lamonnaie @softpran @celestial-sapphicss @justafriend-ql @firstkanaphans @khaofirsts

[neonstatic]

i'm having a tough time w physical touch lately. well, i don't like hugs as much anymore. to the point that sometimes, i'll go for a hug and realise that, well, i was better off without it. it might be bc i'm full of upset feelings and i'm thinking abt them more than i am feeling them, so now i'm just all out of wack. i, who normally welcome hugs from anyone and am known for giving great hugs, am now repulsed by it. i don't mind holding hands or a touch on the shoulder or a peck on th cheek or even a rigorous head rub, but i don't want arms wrapped around me. like my ladyfriend's told me, it seems i prefer embraces on my own terms. i give the hug but i don't get hugged. it's starting to feel a lot like that lately. i even spent last week dodging hugs from ppl i usually love hugging cus it just doesn't feel right. i hugged my nephew goodbye and tbh the discomfort still sits w me days later. i'm abt ready to give up on hugs altogether.

why am i thinking abt hugs so damn much? well, i'm an overthinker. but it's bc at work, my fave coworker (who happens to also be my friend) is a touchy woman and she always greets me w a hug. we hugged in front of a coworker, a middle aged man who is chummy with us both. he joked that he was feeling like an orphan bc he got no hugs and my friend gave him one. i just stood on the side bc, well, i didn't even rly like hugging her at that moment, and i didn't want to hug someone again so soon. he looked at me expectantly. i just giggled (i was nervous!) and went back to working.

we had a lil back and forth joke abt him having to fill out a form to officialise our hug contract but a bit later, he asked more srsly: do you not like hugs? do you only hug girls? and well, no! my best guy mates, i give em sweet hugs too. so then i said, "well, ykno, there's a certain level of... friendship..." and then i think he got real sad cus he gave me his back and "said yeah yeah i get it" and now i feel terrible

and i've been thinking it over since 3pm like omg it bothers me! and one hand, i don't like the man that much. we're on friendly terms but. he's kind to me and he does his job well and he's a great coworker to have but idk that i like him as a person, so i don't want to hug him! he reminds me of my dad: he's the very religious, socially conservative, preachy type of man and it Repulses me! i feel that he's already v lucky to have my politeness and friendliness......

[sonhosdeneymar]

Rules : 🎶 when you get this, list 5 songs you’ve been listening to & tag 5-10 people.

tagged by the lovely @seedlessmuffins

1. First Love/Late Spring by Mitski

I am a masochist. This song fills me with so much yearning and melancholy and it's definitely bad for my mental health but I genuinely have an attachment to it. So much emotion packed into less than 5 minutes.

2. La Romana by Bad Bunny & El Alfa

My hype song. This song makes me feel like I'm at an insanely lit party and going to wake up with a headache that I won't regret. Phenomenal vibes. Great for dancing to also. (Also I don't speak Spanish so the only thing I understand is the fire part.)

3. Let It Happen by Tame Impala

It reminds me of Neymar and 2020. My love for it is almost meditative. I can close my eyes and fall into a world where I let go. Also someone made a fire Neymar comp to it.

4. Married to the Music by SHINee

Reminds me of better times. Extremely nostalgic and injects me with happiness when I need it.

5. Love Me by Lil Wayne, Drake and Future

Something about rap songs about being a rich playboy is just so gender affirming. And also the Kylian edit that's branded into my brain. Like yeah I will be fine as long my bitches love me.

Tagging people: @mavieesttriste16 @mrs-bellingham @mebiselfandi @kevjrr @tres-wack

[fandom-sheep]

MCC Pink Parrots

Wilbur POV 23 JUL 22 Part 1/1

My streamer was so late someone help him

I also forgot to type my thoughts

Anyway now he’s stuck in a hot air balloon

Dogs!!! My favorite thing! At least when watching Wilbur stream.

I want to pet the dogs. My little statistics loving brain wants to devise the most efficient method of petting the dogs in relation to click speed and several other factors.

Oh the people who broke the elevator swapped skins.

Wilbur and Shubble staying in the same skins because they prioritized dogs, as they should.

ACE RACE!!! Time for new AceRaceXWilbur Lore.

Ace Race got a facelift.

Turtle Run? Tortles?

I want to make cosplays of the different MCC games. But only closet cosplays with stuff I already got in my closet and cosplay hoard.

Aimsey comforting Wilbur after a new girl moves into his high school crushes house after their family moves away.

Only reason I don’t like turtle run, it’s keeping us from listening to Wilbur do the little music dude thing.

“How do you lose a girl?” “You forget to cherish her.” Y’all remember that quote? Seems fitting.

Oh Wilbur is falling for Sands of Time now. Can’t wait to hear this saga.

Summary of Ace Race Lore: Wilbur doesn’t like turtle run, misses ace race, gets over ace race slowly, now likes “dogging” and sands of time.

Hey! Not Last!

Also the streamer is quietly singing and is huffing a kazoo (?)

Doggies!!!!!

Oh he’s puffing aerosol. Aerosol something.

Not Noxcrew approved. Language “Dogging”

We’re in 6th not that bad. 9th. 9th. 10th. 10th. 9th. 10th. 9th. 9th and Not Last!!!

Oh Wilbur’s flying off the map again. He’s going to find something he shouldn’t find again.

It’s interesting seeing all the scores pop up there.

Wilbur knows one thing and it’s zoom through gaps.

Doggy! Doggy! Pet! Pet!

Now the high heck did we do that? I was distracted trying to get everything set up for school.

Yes we are noble shrews.

Oh poor Aimsey. Burrow away lil mole.

Well that was a round.

Go little burrowers! You’ve got this!

It’s hard to hide when you are bright pink.

Ranboo was dropped.

Bridge. Boarder! Run for it! You know what sure split up. Harder to kill the whole team at once.

Sapnaps there! Go Wilbur! Nooo. Good try.

Wilbur eating a cucumber didn’t even register in my brain. Streamer just does random stuff like that.

Dog time! Or you know potty break.

Now dogs!

Oh look there’s tumblr’s favorite Goodtimewithscar

Audience vote! I didn’t vote I watched my streamer pet dogs.

Oh I swapped the quality of my stream and I was so behind.

Them just saying hey to random people. Glad I just lurk and don’t really speak in chat.

The Sneeg got the Ranboo! The Sneeg got the Blushi! The Sneeg got the Wilbur! We got the nobody.

Ranboo singing random ditties while he hunts.

The Ranboo spin? Oh Hamster Dance!

10 seconds. Good try Wilbur.

Go Wilbur! You’ve got this! Come on Will you’ve got it! Hooray!

We won that round!?! Good job Ranboo! Mans just entered Gamer Mode.

Wilbur feeling stubby towards Phil.

Good job Will! I love watching hunter POV because it’s so cool seeing them in the zone.

Ranboo! 10/10 hunter!

8th! We’ll take it!

Dogs! Oh yeah I can check the MCC live website!

We’re 10th overall but we’re making our way to not last.

It’s nice seeing my streamer on my main leaderboard on the site for his animal petting accomplishments.

MELTDOWN! I haven’t gotten to see it played yet.

Or you know Rocket Spleef.

Ok I’m back now that rocket spleen is done. I’m never invested in that one.

Dog pets!!!

Wack a mole!

Now for Phil to beat everyone this round of the game.

Ooo not a bad round. And the background noise of them talking about… whatever this is… is perfect.

Ranboo “Mom!”

Aww. Wil and his mama trying to stay aware of where each other are.

Wilbur how have you not hit one! How did you miss all of those!

My poor streamer. The treadmill hamster is sleepy.

Streamer has escaped.

Is Ranboo alone? Did we all abandon him?

Wilbur returns with the American Anthem just before game time.

My streamer is laying on his mic.

Wilbur don’t you hate buildmart? Why are you pouting over meltdown?

No sands for you sad boy.

Really Wilbur switched from Ace Race to Sands that quick.

Oh we’re struggling. We did really good.

Wilbur flying through random gaps.

Go team go! Don’t get frozen this early.

Well we did significantly not as good that time but you know it wasn’t horrible.

Now to fly through gaps and cause problems.

Go Fox!

You guys got this! Get your coins!

Wilbur Hmming while frozen and wishing he could place the ice. Understandable.

Doggies! And getting 11 channel points back on the 10 I bet. Woo 1 more point.

Go Tommy!!!

Hello Philza

Oh yeah red did have someone sub in.

Come on Red. I believe in you!

Oh no red isn’t going to make it.

Oh well maybe not! One on One!

Go Red!

I love Eret and would love for her to win. But go Tommy!

Please Red. Please. Shubble.

I’ll be happy no,after which team wins but.

Good job orange! I’ll have to go back and find a clip of Eret realizing their team won!

Ah the Brothers.

Pet the dogs? Dog rank?

That was a horrible to get to the other side round. He should have been able to win that one.

Wilbur with his dogging rank. Good for him.

Bye Bye Wilbur!

Ooo Raiding Dream. Let’s get those raid points.

Oh dream left. Alright off to Ranboo.

Did Ranboo f-ing end at that exact same time?

Fine off to Eret.

Anyway see y’all! Have a good rest of your MCC.

I’m going to see HannahKate’s day 500.

[cluelesslesbian]

alright tumblrinas prepare yourselves for me using my blog as my own diary for a lil bit uwu

i gotta hand in the proposal for my senior research project by tmrw night and gUESS WHO HASN'T STARTED ANYTHINGGGG

me. it's me. i'm so unmotivated and oddly tired lately?? like fr slept for most of my reading week and I'm so confused how???? i was so excited to start researching n drawing stuff in my free time?? wack. i blame depression- that evil bastard swirling my poor innocent noodle brain around on it's demonic pitchfork... idek what I'm saying alright NEXT SUBJECT---

im working w a local medical aesthetician who wants to create a guideline/course for medical professionals and beauty technicians to take in order to improve their bedside manners (aka how u talk and interact w clients/patients, the extra jazz on top of your scheduled appointment stuff ykno??) and ANYWAYYSSS I'm so down to help her bc!! i totally agree that some ppl are so casually insensitive when handling patients? and she was telling me about how heartbreaking it was that some of her clients were so surprised by her?? just being a decent human & doing her job??? like,,, yall I'm talking if a trans woman wants a brazillian wax?? like I personally don't like touching other ppl but like?? there's nothing wrong with that at all????? but apparently some places will deny that kinda service bc of their [prejudice OR lack of training in waxing diff genitalia... it's easy to say it's just a transphobic professional but sometimes,, there's just no resources for ppl to access and they don't want to hurt ppl in the process ykno?? its complicated but ethics b like that lol] and anyways ugh ok now I'm remembering how she hesitated telling me the details of waxing someone who's faced fatphobia and BRUH- I'm a twig, I can admit that but?? HOW would u not know or be comfortable asking someone to hold up their stomach or arm while u did ur job???? like I get it- some ppl might say it too harshly and that's a subjective tonal issue.. but?? like it's not rocket science to just BE POLITE- and anyways idek but yeah..

so ok im getting excited one again yay this was a good idea- imma start researching what ethical considerations are directly mentioned in physician training, how medial education is formatted, and bedside manner things... then I'll start compiling a report about what SHOULD be done and how it can be taught instead... (me and the nice lady r thinking of starting by creating awareness on insta via infographics and fun stuff before creating an online course... she wanted to do like a community college typa course but I recommended an etextbook course bc?? i mean I've done plenty of university courses primarily using an online textbook site soo it's def worth a shot and can be mass-distributed & can b formatted to allow for accessibility ..things.. wait whats the word.. uhh OH- ACCOMODATIONS yeeeee im so smort

....ok thats it. probs. this was neat. 10/10 brain feels more on track now omg..

OH yo i gotta remember to declare in my research intro that I'm a cis woman... wait or not... depends on if I focus more on soft-skills vs. hard-skills in my research.. no wait i still need to bc yeah i get diff treatment as a woman who fits the stereotypical "girly" standard than others might.... hmm ugh i don't wanna do a survey but now I'm wondering if i should get ethics clearance to (anonymously) question lgbt+ folks in my area about their experiences since it'll def be more reliable than some paper in a fancy-schmancy medical journal .... but that's so much woooorkkkk nooo 😭

okokokokoK one thing at a time.

gonna start summarizing some medical research to start a lit review.

then identify if there are gaps in existing research (specifically around patient mental health when it comes to demographic characteristics)

then summarize some marketing research to make informed predictions/recommendations on how tooooo... like productively change your habits or at least identify them? yeah? hmm marketing for how to present that info but psych & epidemiology research to get the content of the info probably....

OK BET YEET