#just had this sitting as a draft for months now so

[alvojake]

Don't Leave Me | P.SH

「pairing」 : bf!sunghoon x fem!reader 「word count」 : 1.3k

「synopsis」 : it was supposed to be a peaceful weekend, but after a huge bombshell is dropped on you, you have no idea what to think....

「genre」 : angst, fluff, comfort

「warnings」 : cussing, kissing, miscommunication, I think that's about it...

「notes」 : I am not a very big fan of this but bc my child (aka @pockettwinzz) wants it and I'll do just about everything for her I am going to go ahead and post it... it's actually been sitting in my draft for a few months now 💀

It was just supposed to be another normal weekend. You would go get coffee for you and Sunghoon at your favorite cafe. You would then laze around the house, neither of you having the energy after such a long week.

But…

As the universe would have it, not everything can always go without a hitch. The coffee cup almost slipped from your fingers when Jake’s words echoed in your ears.

“Have you and Hoon talked about him going abroad next week yet?” 

Jake knew the instant that your eyebrows scrunched together that you had no idea what he was talking about, knew that he had just royally screwed us. He knew that he should have kept his mouth shut when he saw the tears pooling in your eyes, and those words slipped from your lips.

“He’s leaving?” 

You knew the chances of Sunghoon going abroad were always high. His father always pushed him to improve his education, no matter where he went. Though you had enough confidence in your boyfriend that he would have told you, to find out from his best friend absolutely shattered your heart.

Jake wanted to tell you that Sunghoon had probably forgotten to say anything because he had been so busy with classes, but you were already out the door. Your coffee’s sitting on the table next to him, growing lukewarm.

~

Tears stung in the corner of your eyes as you opened the door to your and Sunghoon’s shared apartment. The male walked down the hall with a small smile on his lips, which only faded the moment he met your glossy eyes.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Worry laced his words as he took short strides to stand before you.

You could feel the anger starting to bubble in your chest as you looked up at him, eyebrows scrunched together. He was looking at you with so much concern and worry that you almost wanted to just forget about the whole thing, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t just ignore the fact that he was going abroad and didn’t tell you.

“When were you going to tell me?” Your voice cracked as you looked up at him, watching as confusion morphed onto his features.

Sunghoon looked at you in confusion, because what could you possibly be talking about. He tried to rack his brain for any possibility of what you could be referring to, but he came up blank. What happened exactly at the cafe for you to come rushing home like this?

You could tell that the confusion on his face was pure; had he really forgotten about it? Though you wouldn’t put it past your boyfriend, that was something you would have realized with a clear mind. Right now, though? Your mind was so clouded by hurt and anger that it didn’t even matter for a second.

Sunghoon reached out for your hand, but his eyes went wide when you pulled out of his reach. 

“Were you ever going to tell me? Or were you just going to leave?” The tears that you tried so hard to keep at bay were now spilling down your flushed cheeks.

“Baby, what are you talking about?” He didn’t have a clue what you were asking. Leave? When was he leaving? He wasn’t going… 

That’s when it finally dawned on him you had found out about his father's request for him to go abroad. You weren’t supposed to know unless it was a for-sure thing, which it wasn’t. He had managed to talk his dad out of it. So why did you know? Unless someone told you…

“When are you leaving?” The pain in your voice shattered his heart, more so because he knew that it was because of him. 

He tried to reach out to you again, but you only shied away from his touch, causing him to sigh. “I’m not leaving.”

“God dammit, Sunghoon!” You scoffed, tears streaming down your face, anger surging through your veins. Was he really trying to play dumb right now? As if his leaving wasn’t going to shatter your entire existence? You tried to wipe some of the tears off of your face, but they were quickly replaced with new ones, “I ran into Jake at the cafe, and he told me about you going abroad.”

Sunghoon couldn’t help but scoff. Of course, it was Jake, of all people, who said anything. All while you stood there in disbelief, was he really mad that you knew? Was he really going to just leave you without a word?

He could see the cogs turning in your head, so he quickly reached out, taking your face in his hands. You fought against his hold, trying to push him away, but he stayed put.

“Y/n, look at me.” His voice was soft, but his words meant he was serious. Slowly, you stopped trying to get out of his hold, your bloodshot eyes staring back at him. He wanted nothing more than to try and console you, but he knew you like the back of his hand. You weren’t going to just listen to him, not in this state. 

“Go wash up and come to bed, then we’ll talk about this, okay?” He pressed his forehead against yours, watching as your eyes fluttered shut. 

You nodded your head softly, wanting nothing more than to just beg him to stay with you, but you also knew that your emotions would get the better of you. The last thing you wanted was to start a screaming match with him. So you released yourself from his grip and slipped past him towards your shared bedroom.

~

Once you had calmed down a little bit and washed your face, scrubbing away the tear streaks, you walked back into the bedroom. Sunghoon was sitting on the edge of the bed, fingers intertwined together, lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed you until you stood right in front of him.

Looking up, he softly grabbed your hand, kissing the inside of your wrist. You bit your lip as more tears filled your eyes. You were scared that he would tell you that it was true, that he was leaving.

“My father wants me to go to Paris to study abroad for a few years,” His words were enough for a sob to leave your lips. Your legs give out under you, but Sunghoon is quick to grab you, pulling you into him. Your fingers dug into his arm as you sobbed into his chest. The sound broke Sunghoon as he tried his best to comfort you.

“Please don’t leave me.” You begged him to stay, begged him to tell his father no, begged him to choose you.

The feeling of his lips on your ceased your words, and your breath hitched, melting into his touch. He held onto your body as if you were made of glass, his lips soft on yours until you had to pull away for air.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby, I promise.” He whispered against your lips while you held onto him desperately. You so badly wanted to believe him, but you knew how his father was. He couldn’t just tell him no.

“Hoon…”

He pressed another soft kiss against your lips; he knew that you wouldn’t believe him, not right off the bat.

“I already talked to him. I told him that I either continue my studies here or I drop out.” You gasped at his words. Was he really willing to sacrifice his education for you? “He gave me a pretty heavy lecture, but I stayed firm. I’m not leaving you, my love. Not now, not ever.”

You wrapped your arms tightly around his body, relishing in his warmth. The earlier worry and anger were washing away with each stroke of his finger through your hair. His lips whispered reassurances as you slowly felt yourself falling asleep, not realizing how tired the whole ordeal had made you.

Sunghoon smiled softly when he heard the soft snores that were leaving your lips, pulling you closer to his body. He wasn’t going to let you go, not until he was in his grave.

@alvojake | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.

[madi-writes-things]

Making The Bed (Johnie Guilbert X Reader)

Summary:

Pushing away all the people that know me the best…

Word Count: 1,415

TW: Passing Out, ED, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Self Deprecation, Self Destructive Thoughts and Actions, Avoiding Foods, Parties, Drinking, Johnnie Being a Supportive and Good Boyfriend, platonic!Jake Webber

A/N: this has been in my drafts for like three months. Sorry if it seems rushed or anything, I fell asleep halfway through writing it and finished when I woke up. 🫶

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

I stand in the bathroom, obsessively typing the calories from the meal I just ate into the calorie counter that I promised I wouldn’t redownload. I didn’t mean for it to get like this again, but here I am. It just started as a few missed snacks, which turned into meals, and it all snowballed into daily weigh-ins and days with no food. I stop by the mirror for a moment, and I regret it immediately… the second I see myself, I feel my stomach churn.

The worst part of this is the lying to the people close to me… I don’t push them away on purpose, it just makes it easier. On days where I don’t see Johnnie much, I’m able to go the whole day without eating. I know that he’ll find out eventually, but I can’t let it be now.

In an ironic way I find it funny how people on the internet find out what you struggle with, and do their best to make it worse. The only reason that I started skipping snacks, was because people started commenting on my weight gain. It’s not the people who praise me for looking healthier, the issue is the people who spew my worst fears in the comments.

I know in the back of my head, that I will lose everything I’ve worked for if I don’t stay skinny. Johnnie won’t want me, Jake won’t chose me over him, Tara won’t want someone like me as a friend, my fans will get tired of me once I’m not interesting to look at, my family wo-

I hear Johnnie lightly knock on the bathroom door, pulling me from my doom spiral. “you okay in there babe?”

Shit.

I quickly wipe my face off, leaving no trace of the tears that were spilled. “Yeah! Be out in just a second.” Sometimes I wonder if he knows, and he’s happy that I’m losing weight. No. He’s not like that.

“”“”“”“”“”

I think Jake knows…

He stared me down after making me lunch. I think he was trying to see if I actually ate it. He made pasta, and I cried in the bathroom for thirty minutes after leaving the table. I saw him staring at me anytime we were in the same room after that.

Now I’m climbing into his car with Johnnie and Tara, headed to an influencer party. I’m wearing a cute Tank + Cropped Hoodie with skeleton hand’s bedazzled on the tits, and a pair of high waisted jeans. I knew that going out was a bad idea, but I have to stay under Jake’s radar… if he says anything to Johnnie, I’m done for.

I offer to be designated driver when we pull up, there’s no way I’m drinking tonight. One shot of vodka is nearly 100 calories, and vodka is the lowest calorie alcohol I’ve found. Everyone agrees pretty easily.

“”“”“”“”“”

The party has been going on for hours, and all of my friends were pretty tipsy at this point. I decided to go sit with Tara a little bit ago, and now we’re talking about her latest hookup. “He was literally so pretty… and his dick was huge!” She nearly falls over laughing at my reaction. I tell her I’m going to grab a water from the cooler, and find the guys so we can head out.

The second I stand up, everything goes blurry for a second. Shit. I don’t think I’ve had anything to eat since Jake made me, and that was like three days ago. I reach out and steady myself on Tara’s shoulder, as she asks if I’m okay. I mutter a quick yes, as I start walking away. It’s takes a second for my eyes to focus again, but most people just seem to assume I’m drunk.

Once I find the guys, we head out. My head is pounding, and all I want is to get home and go straight to bed. Once we finally get to our room, Johnnie holds me tight in his arms as we drift to sleep.

“”“”“”“”“”

The party was two days ago, and while I know I shouldn’t, I took advantage of everyone’s hangovers. I still haven’t eaten or drank anything other than water. Every morning I wake up lighter than the day before, and I’m not risking gaining any weight at this point.

Today is different, Jake and Johnnie are wide awake. The guys have been filming all morning, and they asked me if I wanted to join them in a video… I obviously agreed. I’ve missed my boyfriend, and I doubt he’d notice anything while we’re out at target.

“”“”“”“”“”

We stopped at three different targets before finding one that would let us film, totaling about an hour and a half of driving around. We’ve been walking around this target for a while, but the lights are too bright and I can’t seem to make my brain work hard enough to figure out how long.

I’m standing in the board game isle when it happens. I see Johnnie’s face fall when he sees me. “Babe, are you okay? You look really pa…” I don’t even hear the full sentence before everything turns to static.

“”“”“”“”“”

Johnnie’s POV

It all happens so fast. One second we’re laughing at something stupid, the next second Y/N has gone completely silent. “Babe, are you okay? You look really pale.” Then it happens. I watch as her eyes roll back into her skull.

Shit.

I barely move fast enough to stop her from hitting her head on the ground. “Jake! Go get some juice and a granola bar.” He practically drops the camera before breaking into a sprint across the store.

nononono… how long have I missed this? It all starts clicking into place… the long bathroom breaks after meals, the pulling away, the way she offered to not drink. Jake returns within 30 seconds, and Y/N starts to stir in my arms.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

Everything feels like static… I think my eyes are open, but I still can’t see anything. I reach up, and my hand graces something, it takes me a second to register that it’s my loving boyfriend. I mutter a quick apology, and I hear him talking to someone but it’s so muffled. I don’t know how long I lay there before I start to regain feeling in my body. I can’t tell if I’m shaking, but I feel like I’m having a seizure or something.

once I’m able to sit up on my own Johnnie hands me a juice box and a granola bar. I can see Jake sitting across the aisle, also sipping a juice box. They wait until I’m done with my snack before talking. “Baby, I need you to be honest… when is the last time you ate?”

Shitshitshitshit. “I had lunch with Jake.” I try to sound confident, but my voice is shaky. I see Johnnie look across the aisle at Jake, questioning whether I was telling the truth.

“Y/N… that was almost a week ago.” He looks at me with a nearly indecipherable expression, but I know it well. Pity. “Is that really the last time you ate?”

Seeing how worried my they are breaks me. I only allow myself to break down because we are in a fairly secluded area of the store. Johnnie pulls me into his arms, kissing the top of my head. We stay like that for a while before heading home.

“”“”“”“”“”

Three Months Later

That day was a massive wake up call. Johnnie let me take a nap when we got home, while I slept they assembled friends and family. When I woke up they held an intervention. They gave me the choice to Go to an inpatient treatment, or try to get better at home… I chose getting better at home, scared that nobody would wait for me.

That night we worked out a plan. Johnnie made me a meal plan full of foods that I felt safe eating, we threw out the bathroom scale, and we deleted the calorie counter. It wasn’t an overnight change, but I had amazing support from the people around me.

Johnnie is truly the man of my dreams. He never stops telling me how much he loves me, and reassuring me that he would never leave me. He is the reason I wake up in the morning, and I know that he will always be there.

“”“”“”“”“”

@unbruisable @bernardsbendystraws @sturniolo-fann @jnkvivi @stasiesturn

@h3arts4harry @slutforsturniolos

[teamfortraven]

Caine flusters you to death idk

^ The exact file name on my computer, by the way.

This is an SFW tickle fic! Don't read if you don't like it. Also shout out to the three different references to the TADC fan song "No Exit" that I put in here :]

2,571 words.

I paced angrily out of the main room in the tent, hands curled into fists at my sides as I left my fellow circus members behind. There were no words that could describe how frustrated I was, how confused, and, though I’d never admit it, how scared. My eye twitched at the familiar sound of a long coat flapping behind me.

“Leave me alone, Caine”, I snapped, continuing towards my room. The floating ring master was not so easily deterred and continued after me, however, keeping up with no effort.

“Come on, (Y/N), it was just one time! I know you don’t like the dark, but-“

“Correction.” I spun on my heels to face him, becoming even more annoyed with the way he loomed above me in superiority. “I hate the dark. There is nothing I hate more than the dark. And what did you do?” I crossed my arms and looked at him expectantly. He blinked as he stared at me, a few seconds passing, as if he had to process that I was actually demanding an answer from him.

“It was an adventure for everyone!” He immediately defended himself, still in that jovial tone he used to announce everything. “Not everyone is going to agree on what type of adventure they want to go on-“

“Anything! Anything else!” I threw my hands up in exasperation as he looked shocked that I had cut him off. “Anything but a power outage! I can’t even begin to tell you how horrifying that entire experience was!” I made drastic hand motions at him as I rambled angrily, his hands falling to his sides limply as if he was at a loss for words. “These adventures are supposed to be fun and distracting, Caine! You failed.” I pointed a finger at him accusingly, hoping to really drive the point home.

He gasped in exaggeration, putting a hand to his chest. “I… failed?” His eyes glanced around rapidly, his thoughts clearly racing. I nodded in affirmation; there wasn’t much I could do to show him how serious I was, but hurting his ego definitely helped me feel better.

“Yep, you failed — you had one job, Caine, and you couldn’t even do that right.” I began turning, throwing him a look over my shoulder as he continued to spiral. “So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to be in my room until I feel better.” I paused, giving him one last angry glare. “Which will probably be a very long time.” He locked eyes with me one more time before I turned and opened my door a few feet down the hall, making sure to slam it.

I sighed and fell backwards onto my bed once I had locked it, eyes squeezing shut. I hardly ever liked Caine’s adventures… some of the others seemed to genuinely enjoy them, but I did not. All they were to me were distractions; they were definitely something I appreciated and subconsciously looked forward to, given their quality of keeping our brains from actively melting into goop, but they were never fun for me, especially this time around. Running around in the dark for god knows how long trying to find a generator sounded like something straight out of a horror game, and he thought that would be fun?

“Stupid dentist model”, I muttered, eyes slowly opening.

“That’s a little rude, don’t you think?” I gasped and sat up in shock as I was met with his multicolored irises; he was floating right above me, and a little too close for comfort, at that.

“Caine, what the hell are you doing in here?” I demanded, slowly calming down from the unwelcome surprise. “I wanted to be alone, if I hadn’t made that clear!”

“Well…” He floated back a few feet, twiddling with his thumbs as he glanced away. He almost looked… nervous? “I felt bad for how I made you feel with the last adventure, so…” He looked back up at me, arms folding behind his back. “I figured I would come and fix the problem!”

“What…?” I paused, eyes narrowing at him. “Fix how?”

“By comforting you, of course!” He floated a little closer, his confidence seeming to return. I watched him nervously; ‘comfort’ could be practically anything in his book.

“You’re avoiding my question”, I said quickly, my eyes never leaving him as I withdrew my arms close to my chest. “What are you planning on doing?”

I merely blinked at him as he halted right where he was and put his arms out invitingly… oh.

“A… hug?” I scoffed without thinking about it, trying to collect my words as he looked taken aback by my reaction. “Look, Caine, I uhh, really appreciate the offer, but I’ll be fine. In fact, umm, I already am fine!” I forced a smile, eyebrows furrowed together regardless. I felt myself begin to sweat as he glanced me over; it was nerve-wracking knowing he was analyzing every single part of my body language.

“It would appear you’re lying, my dear; no need! I can surely have you feeling better in no time!” I sighed in defeat as he put his arms back out completely, nodding at me. It looked like he wasn’t going away until he was sure he had fixed what he had done. In all honesty, I had already forgiven him; he was strangely charming in his own goofy little way. I really couldn’t stay mad at him for long. Plus, I guess I wouldn’t mind a hug…

“Alright”, I finally muttered, putting my arms out in turn.

I squeaked in surprise as he suddenly picked me up, squeezing me and subsequently cradling me in his lap. I hesitantly looked up at him; sometimes I wished he blinked. I slowly wrapped my arms around him, hugging him back. It was… nice. But after only a brief moment, he pulled back, still keeping me in his arms, studying me.

“What are you doing?” I was more confused than anything, but the sentence still began with a stutter, which again appeared to ring alarm bells in his head.

“Hugging does not appear to be enough, so I’m just testing something to see if this method is an option”, he said blatantly. I jumped as he suddenly poked me in the side; I immediately covered the area on reflex, my other hand grasping his wrist. I realized my mistake too late as I looked up and saw him appear to smile.

“Ah! Perfect! Then I should have no trouble cheering you up at all!”

“Wait!” I said in panic as he suddenly positioned his hand in a clawing motion just above my stomach, struggling to get out of his grip as he held me against him.

“You’re confusing me a bit”, he said, cocking his head to the side. “You ask for me to stop, and yet you’re still smiling. Having some mixed emotions?”

I realized I was, in fact, smiling, which was apprehensive to the idea of what he was planning on doing, and also just from nervousness.

“I’m just… I…” I struggled to find words, too flustered to outright say anything.

“You’re just… what?” He paused before he started slowly wiggling his fingers just above me, to my horror. “Maybe this will help you speak your mind?”

“Wait, no, I just-“ I shrieked as he tapped my stomach a few times, hands flying to grasp his wrist once again. “I’m just embarrassed! This is just really embarrassing, okay?” I rushed the words as he showed no signs of stopping, holding back nervous giggles.

“You do appear to be embarrassed, yet also conflicted. Going to push my hand away or just stay posed like that?” He stared at me expectantly, his hand frozen against me. I glanced around, fingers twitching against his arm as I struggled to accept that that was true. It had been a very, very long time since anyone had ever given me affection like this before. What was worse, that didn’t even account for the affection I probably lacked before I joined the circus. Given how easily flustered I was, it was obvious this was all foreign to me. I forced myself to look him in the eyes, only curling in on myself even more as I could tell the bastard was still reading me like a book.

“I…” I swallowed nervously. “I just… I’ve never had…” I found myself unable to look at him, or even continue speaking. There was something buried that felt dangerously close to the surface that I just couldn’t remember – something painful. My smile left my face.

“Oh, sweetheart…” My eyes widened at the sudden nickname, head swiveling to look at him.

“You don’t have to admit it!” I hid my face in my hands as he began slowly dragging a single finger across the front of my body in lazy patterns. “It’s obvious this is a… sensitive subject for you.” I could’ve screamed when he made that stupid pun, only leaning further into him in an attempt to hide.

“If you tell anyone…” I started, muffled by my hands. I shrieked as he suddenly squeezed my side, interrupting me.

“Tell anyone what, my little possession?” The mocking tone of his voice took me by surprise.

“Tell anyone that I… e-enough with the nicknames!” I squeaked, kicking my legs in reflex as he traced across my ribs.

“Tell anyone that you like being tickled?” He said the word with such ease that I gasped, staring at him. He looked down at me for a moment and I could see the gears in his head turning as he read my expression. Then, appearing to smirk (as much as giant teeth can), he snapped his fingers.

“Oh! Embarrassed by the word, hmm?” I rapidly shook my head, to which he only continued to stare, obviously not buying it. “So you are!” He sounded delighted, and I groaned, hiding my face again.

“So don’t say it!” I muttered, my voice sharper than I meant for it to be. I became incredibly suspicious as he went silent, so I looked up at him again. That same blank gaze was returned to me, unmoving.

“Tickle.”

I blinked in surprise before I attempted to sternly tell him off. “H-Hey! What did I just-“

“Tickle, tickle, tickle!” I screeched as he suddenly dug his fingers into my ribs, his other hand that was supporting me scratching under my arm. I struggled to pry his hands from my body, finding that he wouldn’t move at all. I quickly fell into helpless laughter, legs kicking.

“C-Caihaine stahap!”

“Stop what?” He said nonchalantly, feigning ignorance.

“You know exAHACTLY WHAHAT-“ I nearly shrieked as he pinched between my side and hip, squirming in his lap.

“Oh! Is this a bad spot?” I nearly fell into hysterics as he repeated the action as fast as possible.

“Just not- NOT THEHERE-“ I struggled to finish a single sentence, especially when he started rapidly switching places, a loose yet determined grip on me to prevent me from moving very much.

“Where’s this loud voice when you’re performing, my little superstar?” If I could’ve cursed him out for the snide comments he continuously made, I would have.

“Quit it!” I struggled to annunciate through a stream of giggles and my flustered complexion, his hand trailing down to my stomach, drawing more bubbly noises from me.

“Oh, you circus members are always SO delightfully predictable”, he mused, his hand jumping around to a few different spots, gauging my reactions with robotic precision. “Always leaving your weak spots open!”

“Y-You’re so bahackhanded!” I squeaked before finding myself thrashing in his grip and practically snorting.

“Hmmm, I have to disagree there. I’m much more front handed when it comes to playing with my performers! Are you seeing my point of view here?” He suddenly stopped only to wiggle his fingers in front of my face, eliciting nervous giggles as I sank even further into his lap in a subconscious attempt to keep them away.

“No response? Well, at least I know how to make you smile, right?” He moved to squeeze both of my sides at once before spidering; I somehow seemed even more trapped now than I was before, so I opted instead to cover my heated face rather than attempt to escape.

“Careful not to blush too hard… your facial polygons are getting artifacts, dear.”

“Ahand whose fault is thahat?!” I exclaimed, squealing as his hands began traveling up and down, definitely feeling the artifacts forming now if I hadn’t before.

“I’m only cheering you up! You’re the one that chose to be this sensitive…”

“IT WASN’T A CHOICE!” I protested through laughter. It was more than embarrassing to know this AI was managing to tease me into oblivion, able to manipulate my reactions like a puppet on a string. Worst of all, he was cheering me up, and pretty soon I would have to genuinely ask for it to end before he got suspicious-

“So, having second thoughts? Is this method working? Five star review?” He continued reciting practical nonsense, his fingers not missing a beat on wiggling into any hyper-sensitive areas they could find.

I realized it was pointless trying to cover it up; he already knew I was enjoying it. I’d just be prolonging the amount of sarcastic questioning I’d experience, which he’d then accuse me of also liking. I struggled to think of words, any words, while he practically played me like an instrument.

“Okay, OKAYHAY! IT WOHORKED ALRIGHT? NOW STAHAP!” I was surprised when he did finally pause, drawing me just a bit closer, those grotesque eyes within his jaws studying me briefly before he scooped me up, setting me back on the bed and then zooming into the air in front of me.

“I’m just messing with you! Of course it worked! That method has yet to fail me!” I wondered how many other performers he had done this to when he accidentally upset them…

While I was lost in thought, he floated closer, and I came back to attention to find him staring inches from my face. I drew back a bit in surprise before he spoke.

“Still embarrassed by it? Don’t be!” He punctuated his exclamation with a fancy spin. “Just don’t think about the fact that I could hold this above your head forever and there’s nothing you can do about it – it’s that simple!”

I groaned and set my flustered face in my hands… At least the artifacts that formed seemed to have mended themselves. “Right, Caine, that simple…”

I felt a hand gingerly set on my shoulder and looked back up.

“That… was a joke. I won’t tell anyone, ringmaster’s promise!” He nodded to himself and I smiled slightly.

“...Thank you.”

“Anyways, now that you’re a blushy mess rather than a depressed one, I’ll be on my way! You know where to find me!” He glanced about a dozen different ways, which was concerning but not unexpected, before poofing out of my room with a small eruption of cartoonish smoke.

I laughed a bit to myself after he left, contemplating the whole experience. While he struggled to understand things that were inherently human, it was obvious that he was trying… and, at the very least, I wouldn’t complain if he tried cheering me up that way again. Just as long as the last adventure never repeated itself…

[eau-the-agony]

My favourite little thing in House of Leaves is when Zampanò makes an incorrect comment about a bible verse, which Johnny corrects with something which is also wrong, which is then further incorrected by the editor

[glimblshanks]

Actually I'm very tempted to write a one shot of Shaxs trying to help Mariner through her war trauma. Like we know the crews mental health is something he takes very seriously, and he's the only other character in the show that we know for certain has fought on the front lines of a war. It's actually kind of odd to me that they aren't a more common friendship/ mentor pairing

[crossedwiress]

living in the violet sounds

[abysswalkersknight]

Here's a practise paint for Malleus!

my aim was to practise lighting and try to get that nice eerie look. Hope I captured some semblance of it.

Also don't ask about scales I cannot do that for the life of me but I love the tail.

[kyluxtrashpit]

So I really want to get another cat. Thing is, there’s several reasons why it’d be a good idea (boy has a playmate, I think my ideal number of cats is 2, and give a kitty in need of a home a nice one) but also a lot of reasons I know it’s not a good idea *right now*

First reason is I’m not sure I’m fully ready for it. There’s still a part of my brain that hopes that this new new cat (I’m gonna need another system when I do get one lmao) would act more like old cat and I’ve had enough pets to know that’s a red flag that means you’re not ready yet. It just leads to disappointment when your new pet doesn’t behave like the old one when they were never going to, every animal is a unique individual and no two will give the same experience even when they are similar. And I know this. But the heart still wants

Also two cats, especially when one is brand new to the living situation and is still adjusting, is more work than one and for several reasons my energy lately has been pretty low. So. Am I up for that right now? I’m not sure. I’m sure I could rise the occasion if it’s needed, but like. Would it be a good idea to put myself into that situation at the moment? I’m not sure it would be. Even if I do miss having two cats a lot

There’s also the matter of living situation. Last year I was hoping to move, as I’m getting to the point in my life where it is time to Purchase a living space instead of rent. Which is terrifying tbh lmao, but it is a thing none the less. Plus I just really want a bit more space at this point, and certain conveniences (oh how I long for my own laundry devices) that I don’t currently have. But with old cat, that just didn’t end up being in the cards cause my babies are always my priority above all else (the financial hit also didn’t help - I’m only just recovering from it now). I was simply not going to move while she was old and fragile and dying of cancer

However, my province also sucks! And it recently decided it’s gonna suck even more! Not as much as most of the US, at least not yet, but. It’s not promising. And the long term prospects are also Not Great (both in terms of social things and economically as well like, things are probably going to get worse long before they get better, if they ever do get better). And my city isn’t *the worst* but it’s more expensive than ideal. So it’s like. Do I want to buy a place here? I don’t know. But do I want to move out of this province? I also don’t know

Cause moving adds a lot of factors, even if I stay in the same province but look at a cheaper city. And leaving the province, okay, which to go to? This one’s nice but expensive and has weather I don’t like, and that ones cheap but also there’s a decent risk things will get worse there politically. And then there’s a risk the whole country will get fucked politically next year but I am doing my utmost to not worry about it until it is actually an immediate problem

And then there’s factors like, all the people I know are here (even if I’m bad at seeing them a lot). Familiar grocery stores and restaurants, other amenities, hell, my internet company is not fully national last I checked - will I have to switch providers? Work isn’t an issue as I work from home and we have people in multiple provinces, but like. Literally everything else is. I’ve lived here my entire life. I don’t know what it would be like to move that far. I’ve never done it

(And there’s also like. A sort of political responsibility. I read a lot after the shitty thing was announced and like. Some people are leaving. Some are staying because fuck you, bigots will not drive me from me home, I will fight back. Some are staying because they can’t afford to leave. And some are staying because if everyone who can leave does leave, then who’s left to at least try to fight this shit for those at risk who can’t get out? Especially as while I’m not in the demographic currently at risk, I’m in an adjacent one so it’s like. No, I’m not at risk yet but it’s possible I will be some day, but I also do feel some level of responsibility to try to help those who are currently at risk because I’m not)

And my dad is planning to leave (though unclear how firm that plan is right now and unclear exactly where) and is like ‘well come with me’ and I’m gonna be honest I. Don’t really want to like. I’m in my 30s. There is a part of me that feels like it’s time to get a bit more space from my family. My mom moved already for other reasons, so I don’t physically see her often, but technology is a thing so. Quite frankly my parents are both really bad at having friends so being literally the only person one of them knows in an entire city is kind of a nightmare scenario for me lmao. I need my space. I get annoyed when I get texted too often, I am NOT going to be your sole social contact. And I know that’s what would happen if we both moved to the same place with no one else. And even without all that, we have differences of opinions in “ideal place to live” so. I know they’re (dad goes by they/them) going to try to pressure me but if I’m sure of anything, it’s that I don’t want that

And, to circle this all back, there is also my kitty boy: he does NOT travel well. At all. He has panic attacks in the car that leave him panting and screaming within about 1 minute of being in there. We are trying to work on it, given transport is important for vet visits, but progress is slow. I was thinking he might have to get the old gaba just for me to be able to move within the city. He’s an anxious little guy. It’s gonna be tough for him, both the general realities of moving and the driving to the new place part. And I originally wasn’t really thinking of moving anywhere out of a 20 min or so radius of where I currently live partly for that reason

So to move to another province (and please remember Canada is Huge, like, this would be several hours or even multiple days of driving), I don’t know if I can even do that in a way that’s safe for him. Drugs are an option, but depending on where, it could be an unfeasibly long drive to do that with. And god, planes, I can only imagine how much worse he would be on a plane (even though I’d NEVER let him ride in the cargo, I’d buy an extra seat if I had to). He could have a stress-induced heart attack and die and if this is in transit, I’d be powerless to save him and I’d have to live the rest of my life knowing I killed him

And so with all of that, I’m like. I really can’t get another cat until I know wtf I’m doing and implement that because it would be awful for the new kitty if I got them and then immediately moved somewhere, either close or far. I can’t do that, it would be cruel. So like. Idk, I just don’t know what to do

I’m also aware that like. There are two problems in this ramble and the one I opened with is not really the larger one lmao but like. Genuinely I do not know what to do and that’s scary so I’m just kinda frozen here thinking how nice it would be to have a second floof gallivanting around the apartment but also knowing I can’t really have that right now (unless the cat distribution system decides to give me no choice in the matter lmao but I’m not expecting that to happen)

[artlyloser]

this is a wip but i felt like posting something

[homeless202]

EY & HJ stealing parallels

EY | HJ | Details

We’ve seen Eunyung get wrongfully accused of stealing twice:

The first time, his dad leaned down and directly told him to apologize, not even asking if he really did do it. When EY insisted he was innocent, his dad did not believe him. Instead, he shamed EY into apologizing for sth he didn’t do. His dad leaning down was a manipulation tactic.

The second time, HJ leaned down to ask him if he did it, EY said no, and HJ believed him no questions asked. Bc that's how his mom had reacted to him stealing. HJ leaning down was to show EY he wasn't alone and that he had someone who trusted and supported him.

(^^ HJ's reaction really surprised him compared to what his past experience with his dad looked like. EY didn't expect anyone to believe him, he's not used to that. Then guilt and dread kicked in when HJ said he trusted him bc he had intended to steal sth but ultimately didn't and held himself back ->)

When there was concrete proof EY didn’t do it, he even stood up for him. HJ asked the shop owner to apologize to EY the way his mom had asked for an apology for him when he was little.

But their reactions to said request were different: HJ thought his mom was really cool for standing up for him like that.

Whereas EY thought HJ asking for an apology was extremely embarrassing. He didn't even give the guy the chance to apologize before walking away (<- he probably felt he didn't deserve it bc he had almost stolen sth).

HJ did what he learned from his mom, and it almost worked. Unfortunately, EY isn’t used to basic human decency and apologies, so he rather removed himself from the situation to avoid another confrontation and further humiliation.

[aelswiths]

For @kingslionheart

[abyssembraced]

Kind of a random thing, but I have to say that I do Not like the Slime Creature interpretation of Rouxls. I get why people headcanon that, I do! He's got that thing going on with his mouth that looks like it could be. Melting. Or some shit. But I Do Not Like It dgsgsfsh

If you've happened to see my art of him, you'd know I personally give him a galaxy pattern across his full body! (If you want an example, here's a semi-old doodle page of him)

I guess it doesn't make The Most sense for him to be galaxy themed, given that he's. A playing card, but. Pretty :) dgdgshf

It does sort of fit, though. As the rules card, he's connected to the universe through his ability to change its laws, if only slightly. Thus, he looks as though he is the universe.

The galaxy pattern continues fluidly across his body. Like, his coat and his pants don't have separate patterns or anything. It's all just one big galaxy. It's constantly moving and shifting, too, albeit slowly--you probably wouldn't notice it unless you were actively watching him.

He's... Mystical. As though he doesn't belong in his world (just as his sprite is different from Every Other One in the game with its white outlines). Looking at him is like looking into a portal, and if you reached out to touch him, it would almost be surprising to meet a solid body and not actually grasp the galaxies within.

Because of the whole "galaxy pattern running uninterrupted across his entire body regardless of clothing" thing, I like to think that Rouxls has some sort of reverse chameleon effect on his clothes. No matter what he wears, everything changes colour to match that same galaxy pattern (aside from white, which remains the same). If he were to take off his coat and someone else wore it, it would just be black or something.

[gravitywonagain]

Can't Cheat Death While You're Digging Your Own Grave; Part 2

[Part 1] I didn't abandon it, look! Now with [Part 3]

What if Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian were closer? Sworn brothers, even? What if NHS visited WWX in Yiling?

Prompt from the wonderful @shiranai-atsune

[T (for now?), implied Wangxian, 3.5k, 2/?]

~

Nie Huaisang:

The solution was obvious. So obvious that Nie Huaisang was a little annoyed that he seemed to be the only one who saw it. 

In fairness to everybody else, there was a lot going on and not everybody even knew there was a problem that required a solution. But Nie Huaisang didn’t feel like being fair to anyone when his brother was dying. And not only was he dying, but he wouldn’t admit he was dying. He wouldn’t change a single thing even though they both knew that his saber was slowly killing him. 

To make matters worse, the entire cultivation world had somehow conspired against the only hope for his survival and stranded the two of them on a mountain of corpses in the middle of fucking nowhere. Okay, technically it was in the outskirts of Yunmeng, but the point remained. 

Nie Huaisang, however, was nothing if not proactive. Don’t ask anyone to corroborate that, but he was. Da-ge knew of his competence, and that was what mattered. 

There were, after all, multiple reasons he was left in charge of the Unclean Realm’s resources during the Sunshot Campaign. Reasons that had little to do with his refusal to pick up his saber. Reasons that resulted in a very effective hospital, if he did say so himself. 

His brother was very aware of his covert brand of brilliance. Which was good. Because he really needed his brother to hear him out. And he would definitely not want to hear him out about this. 

Da-ge was sweaty and smiling when Nie Huaisang found him, Baxia laid gently across his lap as he tended to her edge with all of his attention. He was relaxed in the way he only was after losing all his breath and working himself into near exhaustion. Training always made Da-ge feel powerful and centered. It was the cleanest exercise he got -- at least outside of visits from Er-ge and San-ge. 

Which was why Nie Huaisang waited to search him out until the early afternoon. He wanted Da-ge to be calm and happily exerted, which could be a detriment to one of Nie Huaisang’s arguments, but would leave him in the best state of mind to hear out Nie Huaisang’s plan. 

“Da-ge!”

“Sang’er.”

There’s a warmth to Da-ge’s voice when he’s happy. It’s a good sound. A sound like fresh soil for planting flowers. 

Nie Huaisang skipped his way over to his brother and sat himself down on the stone stair next to him. 

He smiled and said, “You look relaxed.”

Da-ge raised an eyebrow and replied, “You look calculating.”

Nie Huaisang huffed at that. This was the danger of being known, of course. This is the reason Nie Huaisang pretends to be an idiot in front of other people. When people don’t know that you’re clever enough to be calculating, they never accuse you of it! 

He pouted at Da-ge, but it was no use. 

Hands still moving in long, confident strokes, Da-ge looked up and dismissed the rest of the disciples in the training yard. 

The disciples moved at once, not wanting to get involved in an argument between the brothers. Nie Zonghui set a hand on Nie Huaisang’s shoulder as he passed by, leaving swiftly after a comforting squeeze. 

“What do you want, Sang’er?” 

Da-ge’s eyes returned to Baxia, but Nie Huaisang had no doubt he had his brother’s attention. 

“I have a solution to our problems,” he said, a simple kind of delight affecting his tone. 

“What problems?”

“See,” Nie Huaisang flapped his fan lightly, “I knew you would say that, because you always say that whenever I try to bring this up.”

“Huaisang.” It was almost a groan. Nie Huaisang hated when his name was a groan. 

He deflected, “But your cultivation is only one of the problems I’m about to solve for us.”

“And the other?”

He couldn’t help himself, quirking his head to the side like a magpie, “So you admit it’s a problem?”

“Sang’er.” Another groan. This time edged with chastisement, which was even worse. 

Nie Huaisang rolled his eyes, but pressed on. “The other is Wei Wuxian.”

At this, Da-ge froze. His hands stilled, whetstone hovering a paper’s width over Baxia’s blade. Then, slow as a mountain, Da-ge turned to face Nie Huaisang with narrowed eyes and furrowed brow. 

“You have a way to kill him?” he asked. 

“Da-ge! No!” Honestly, Nie Huaisang shouldn’t have been surprised. And he wasn’t, not really. But he had forgotten -- briefly -- in all of his scheming that Wei Wuxian was on that stupid mountain of corpses because people wanted to kill him. Apparently those people included Da-ge, which was something Nie Huaisang, again, knew, but had, momentarily, forgotten. 

He brightened his smile and said, “I have a way to save him.”

Confusion spilled over Da-ge’s features. “Save him?” he asked. “From what?”

Nie Huaisang sighed, “Himself, mostly,” and got a chuckle out of Da-ge. 

“You’re a bit late for that.”

“Maybe, but maybe not,” he shrugged. “I want to bring him here.”

Anger came next. This Nie Huaisang was expecting. This he was quite prepared for. So when Da-ge began to shout, “You want to--” Nie Huaisang was quick to cut him off before he could work himself into a frenzy. 

“Him and the refugees he’s protecting,” he said, channeling as much certainty into the words as he could and backing them with his own brand of Nie stubbornness. 

“The Wens he’s protecting,” Da-ge shot back. 

But Nie Huaisang didn’t budge. “Yes.” 

“Why?” 

Good. Good; leave it to his brother to know that there was a reason. That this wasn’t just some frivolous idea. This, Nie Huaisang would acknowledge, is why you do show some people how clever and capable you are. 

“Wei Wuxian,” he starts, leaving behind all pretense of flightiness in his voice and in his body language, “is the world’s foremost expert on resentful energy and Wen Qing is a medical genius who treated Wen Ruohan for years.” He did not stop as his brother’s eyes narrowed further at the mention of Wen Qing and her uncle. He continued, “They are wasted living in the Burial Mounds, farming radishes in soil fertilized by human corpses.” 

“Wasted?” Da-ge’s voice quivered with suppressed rage. “They should both be dead!” Barely suppressed. 

“He’s the hero of the Sunshot Campaign!” Nie Huaisang really didn’t understand why people kept forgetting that. 

Sure, he knew that some forgot it conveniently as they used his friend’s villainization toward their own grasps for power, but Da-ge was there. Da-ge saw Wei Wuxian in the aftermath of that final battle, drained and pale after having wrested control of Wen Ruohan’s puppets and turned them against their former master. 

“Meng Yao--”

“Do you really want to bring up San-ge right now, Da-ge?”

Da-ge flinched and deflated a little. Paused, looking down at the massive saber in his hands. “No,” he said after a moment. “But that doesn’t explain why you want to bring an army of demonic cultivators--”

“They’re not an army,” Nie Huaisang said, waving his fan as if he could dismiss the thought from the collective consciousness like fanning smoke from the air. “They’re too old and weak. Common people caught in the conflict.” 

To his credit, Da-ge doesn’t ask how Nie Huaisang knows that. He says instead, “They are Wens.” 

“They are villagers. Not even in the tenth degree of kinship to Wen Ruohan.” 

“The doctor and her brother are his cousins.” 

“They did not take part--”

“And you think that absolves them?” Da-ge stands, Baxia in his grip but flung out wide as he spreads his arms with frustration. “Did you not just say she treated our father’s murderer for years? Why does she deserve our protection?” 

“She helped the Jiang siblings--” 

Anger begins building up in Da-ge’s body. Nie Huaisang can see it like a physical thing. 

“Then let Yunmeng Jiang take her in!” Baxia flares red. “Let them deal with their supposed saviors and their heretic defector!” He swings her back and forth in a small arc as she splutters with their combined power. 

Nie Huaisang needs to calm him down. He needs to separate him from Baxia, but first, he needs to bring his brother back. 

He leans back on one hand, fan fluttering gracefully. He keeps his own voice light, perfectly non-combative, and says, “Jiang Cheng doesn’t have the resources.” Flippant, “Or the balls.” 

The joke lands. Da-ge doesn’t laugh or even smile, but his shoulders relax. He loosens his hold on Baxia’s hilt. Seems to notice her in his hand for the first time. Before there might have been something like worry in his eyes as he looks at her, or an apology on his lips as he looks back to Nie Huaisang. But they are past that now. It is not good, but it is known and they do not waste breath on performative promises that mean nothing. 

Instead, Da-ge sets Baxia down gently and steps away from her; sits on the other side of Nie Huaisang, resting his elbows on his knees. 

“And his lack of balls is my problem somehow?”

Nie Huaisang snaps his fan closed, the closest thing to an acknowledgement either of them will make. 

“Not your problem, no, but it could be our gain.”

His pulse settles out and slips back down into his chest from where he’d felt it lodged in his throat. 

“Gain?” Da-ge asks, incredulous. “What do we stand to gain?” 

Nie Huaisang simply nods, “Wei Wuxian.”

“The demonic cultivator.” 

Now he wants to groan. Is that all his friend is to anyone anymore? “The former first disciple of Yunmeng Jiang,” he says, insistent. “The champion archer. The talismanic genius. Remember all his potential? He was the fourth ranked young master of my generation.” 

“I’d wager that ranking has changed. And it’s not like we can put him back on the Sword Path, Sang’er.” 

“He can’t return to the Sword Path, anyway.” The words leave his mouth almost flippantly and it’s less than a second before he notices but the regret is instantaneous. 

Of course, Da-ge picks up on it immediately. “What do you mean ‘he can’t?’” 

The thing is, he’s not actually sure of this bit. It’s just-- Well, he notices things. But because this isn’t a fact that he knows, it wasn’t one he was going to bring up in this conversation. 

He likes to have confidence in the things he tells Da-ge. It helps maintain his credibility, or whatever. And also doesn’t give Da-ge false information that may put him in a sticky situation if he bases a decision off of it. 

Because of that, he also knows that if he were to tell his brother to let it go, that the information is not reliable yet, that Da-ge would. He would leave it. He would wait. 

But, the other thing is, Nie Huaisang is almost sure of this bit. He would give it ninety percent odds of being true. Higher if his source in Yunmeng isn’t blowing smoke; which she never has yet. 

It’s enough, he decides. 

“Da-ge, he doesn’t have a core.”

“He-- what?!” Da-ge’s eyes go wide as archery targets. His full body turns to face Nie Huaisang, legs shifting, as he fixes Nie Huaisang with the narrowest of narrow-eyed stares he’s ever seen and asks, “How could you possibly know that?”

“I don’t!” Nie Huaisang says, and this time he means it, “I don’t. But the rumors during the war-- You remember, I told you. Rumors of Jiang Wanyin falling to Wen Zhuliu during the massacre of Lotus Pier. Rumors of Wen Chao dropping Wei Wuxian into the Burial Mounds. If Wen Qing, the accomplished doctor that she is, sheltered them…” he remembers the haunted look in his friend’s eyes after he returned, the way he flinched away from touch, the way he avoided Lan Wangji of all people. “The pieces fit and think about it, Da-ge. Why else would he give up his sword?”

Da-ge doesn’t look convinced, yet. His voice is calm as he says, “Men do all kinds of things for great power.” 

Nie Huaisang can’t help himself; he shouts, “He had great power! You’ve seen him! He was Yunmeng Jiang’s head disciple. He went strike for strike with Wangji-xiong. He and Wangji-xiong, alone and injured, defeated the beast under Muxi Mountain!”

Da-ge only shakes his head, “All of that pales in comparison to what he did at Nightless City, Sang’er.” 

“Which he did for us! And we all let him! We encouraged him. We used him!”

“You’re right.” Still so calm. He reaches out an places a hand on Nie Huaisang’s shoulder, just like he used to when they were young and one of Nie Huaisang’s birds had died. “We should never have allowed him to live,” his eyes are dissonantly kind, “but war is a desperate time.”

“And he’s desperate now!” Nie Huaisang feels strangely like the conversation is slipping from his grasp. It sits heavy and awkward in his chest, his emotion welling up and distracting him from the task at hand. So he calms it. He closes his eyes, forces it into a ball, and shoves it down, burning it off inside his golden core, or imagining that he does. 

When he looks back into his brother’s eyes, he is steady. “He helped us then,” he says, voice strong and clear, “and we can help him now.” 

Da-ge looks back, just as steady. “By bringing a demonic cultivator and a bunch of Wens onto our land, Sang’er? No. Absolutely not.”

“They’re farmers, Da-ge. Farmers.”

“Farmers and whatever Wen Qionglin is.”

That is so not the point! “Aiyo, Da-ge! He could save you!”

“Save me? Huaisang, I’m not dying.”

And back into the same old argument they go. Nie Huaisang is beyond tired of it. He refuses to allow his brother to lie to him about this any more. Every time the subject comes up, Nie Mingjue avoids or distracts or prevaricates. They’ve never talked about how Nie Huaisang figured it out; they’ve never talked about what is actually going on; and Nie Huaisang will not let pride or stubbornness kill his brother. Not when he’s finally figured out how to save him. 

“Yes you are.” He allows no room in his words for uncertainty. 

“I’m--”

“You’re going to qi deviate. Like your mother. Like Father.”

“Wen Ruohan--”

“Took a shortcut. We both know Father would have died soon enough anyway.”

Da-ge looks at him with his jaw set. He doesn’t deny it. He can’t deny it, not honestly, and Nie Huaisang will always know if he’s lying -- mostly because he’s exceedingly bad at it. But it’s not like he looks ready to give up, either. 

“And what exactly do you think Wei Wuxian can do about it?” He asks it like a question, but it’s difficult to tell whether or not he actually cares to hear the answer. 

Nie Huaisang gives him one anyway. “It’s inside him, Da-ge, like it’s inside you.”

“The Saber Path is not the Ghost Path, Sang’er.” 

“Ghosts, beasts, what’s the difference?” 

“Do I need to send you back to Lan Qiren a fourth time?” 

He flaps his fan dismissively. “It’s resentment. It’s harmful. It’s not spiritual energy. It might as well be the same thing. And if he can contain it, if Wen Qing-daifu can help him, maybe they can help us.”

The clench of Da-ge’s jaw tightens. He huffs through his nose. “That’s a lot to risk on a maybe.” 

“What risk?” Nie Huaisang asks honestly. “Your life, the lives of every Saber Path cultivator, could be saved!” 

“By an unstable man with wicked cultivation?” 

“He’s unstable because he’s desperate. They’re barely surviving on that mountain.” Nie Huaisang laughs, “He scraped together a cultivation method that defeated Wen Ruohan and ended the war with a few months and no golden core. Imagine what he could do if we gave him time. Shelter. A library. Food.”

“Sang’er--” Da-ge starts, but there’s a weakness in it. Not quite conciliatory, but close. Close enough to press. 

“I will bring him here,” says Nie Huaisang, forcing all of his conviction into each syllable. “I’d marry him into the sect if he wasn’t so in love with Wangji-xiong.”

Da-ge sighs, “You don’t need to--” 

“You’re right! Because there’s another option!”

Da-ge’s eyes widen as he realizes, “Huaisang, no.” 

Nie Huaisang grins, “He just has to agree to it.”

“Huaisang.”

“It’ll be perfect!”

“Huaisang!”

Nie Huaisang stands tall, raising his fan high, and cries out, “We’ll bow before Heaven and Earth and the entire cultivation world as sworn brothers!”

Da-ge stands to match him, “You will not.” 

He’s tall, so much taller than Nie Huaisang, so Nie Huaisang goes two steps up the stairs, saying, “We will. In Lanling. At his nephew’s Full Moon celebration.” 

Da-ge doesn’t chase him. He looks up, now, to his younger brother. A mixture of defeat and something else -- maybe hope? -- in his steely, grey eyes. 

“You think you can arrange that?” he asks, but it’s not a question. It’s a yielding. An acquiescence. Permission. 

Nie Huaisang smiles down at his older brother and nods. “Jin Guangshan will be so pleased to have Wei-xiong close enough to touch.”

“Close enough to trap.”

“Yes, we’ll have to be careful.” He taps his folded fan against his chin, “But if Qinghe Nie offers him protection, I bet Wei-xiong will be willing to give up that stupid seal that has everyone frothing at the mouth like rabid dogs.” 

Da-ge’s eyebrows climb his forehead. “He’d give up his power? Just like that?”

Nie Huaisang steps back down the stairs, putting him on equal footing with his brother, his sect leader, again. Now that he’s won, now that they’re talking strategy, he sits back down on the stone stairs, pleased when Da-ge does the same. He picks up the whetstone that Da-ge had discarded in his earlier rage and hands it to him. 

“Wei-xiong doesn’t want power for power, Da-ge. He wants it for purpose. He needs it to keep people safe and if we take on that burden for him, he won’t need that power anymore.”

Da-ge hums and nods, turning the stone over in his hands, thumbs gliding over the smooth edges of it. 

“If we take in a few dozen farmers --” he continues, but Da-ge cuts in. 

“And the Wen siblings.”

“Yes,” Nie Huaisang rolls his eyes, “and the Wen siblings, who will be very grateful to not have to scrounge out a living on a mountain of death anymore,” he reminds his stubborn brother, “then Wei Wuxian will give up the Seal. He’ll come here. We will protect him and those he has claimed. And he will fix--” Da-ge cuts a glare at him from the side, and Nie Huaisang amends, “adjust our cultivation so that it stops killing our most powerful practitioners.” 

“It is not bad to have a defined upper limit on power,” says the man who is always pushing up against that limit with his own two shoulders. 

But Nie Huaisang doesn’t need to bring that up. “So you’ve said,” he nods. “It is also not bad for our sect leaders to have an expected lifespan longer than forty years.” Really, it doesn’t seem like he’s asking too much here. 

Da-ge grins. “You just don’t want to be a sect leader.” 

“This is true,” says Nie Huaisang, because it very much is. “And you will need all the time I can give you to find a wife who can stand you--” he dodges Da-ge’s hand as it flashes out to catch his arm, giggling when the fingertips connect with his sleeve anyway “--long enough to make you a tiny little heir!” Da-ge lunges again. 

For a moment, they’re just brothers again. Before titles and wars and death molded them into what they are now, they were just two brothers. Two brothers who loved each other and who protected each other. 

Nie Huaisang supposes they haven’t changed too much, in the grand scheme of things. They love each other. And they will protect each other. 

“This will work?” Da-ge asks, and Nie Huaisang swallows past the fear in his throat. 

“Da-ge, it is the only chance we have.” 

Da-ge hums again, passing the whetstone from hand to hand until handing it to Nie Huaisang. “You will pick up a saber?”

Nie Huaisang hesitates, fingers barely grazing the now-warm stone. “That was not part of this deal.” 

“What if it was?”

He can’t tell, he honestly can’t tell if Da-ge would back out over this or not. It’s an amazing bluff if it is one, but if it’s not -- Nie Huaisang can’t afford to give up now. Besides, he’s only ever had one truly major complaint against the Saber Path. 

“If he fixes it-- Don’t give me that look. If he fixes it,” he takes a deep breath and accepts the whetstone from his brother, “I’ll pick up my saber.” 

“Deal.” Da-ge stands, smiling, and Nie Huaisang just can’t help himself. 

He snaps open his fan and says, “But I’ll put it back down as soon as I start sweating.” 

“Sang’er!” Da-ge starts to stomp after him. 

He runs. “It’s so gross, Da-ge!”

[bookshelf-in-progress]

Fun fact: The fairy tale flash fiction has now passed 4,000 words.

[ranger-kellyn]

you know like. in hindsight. the biggest evidence of me being gay and on the aro spectrum was like. in elementary school when all the other girls were starting to go through the whole "celebrity crush" thing with like...dylan and cole sprouse and zac efron and like. idk. jesse mccartney. i just remember always internally being like "what the heck are any of you even tALKING ABOUT" and then actually seeing them on tv or something and being like????? i still don't??? get it??????????????? and i remember just picking someone just to have an answer bc it was asked an annoying amount of times and not because i genuinely had any sort of crush on them and like.......

[sonic-adventure-3]

FUCK. THE SONIC SPLATOON POST. I FORGOT ABOUT IT. my brain sucks so bad i got hung up on a minor logical inconsistency that i couldn’t resolve without compromising my vision so i just stopped making progress and my 3 day time limit was up so my interest drifted to. playing splatoon. and watching people play splatoon. which you’d think would make me more interested in talking about splatoon but it didn’t. and now i’ve got other things to spend my time on. whoopsies