#just hate most of what he did to sam (I'm not being sarcastic)

[2sw]

it's a very long post about THAT scene in 7x03... (30 gifs)

and...

season 4 was one of the darkest periods of sam's life and his relationship with dean. but at the end of s5, in swan song, sam showed how strong he could be. he took control of lucifer and sacrificed himself to stop the apocalypse. sam could do that cause he wanted redemption. he was able to do that cause he loves his brother. dean was there with him the whole time and just decided to keep doing this shit? especially when sam is struggling with the hallucination of the devil?? sam took on hell memories so he could be there for his brother. and later in season 7, he lets hallucifer in because he's so desperate to save dean... Sam's devotion to his brother is always so quiet and sacrificial. give your baby brother some credit, dean!!!! no wonder why sam was so suicidal in s8.. wait why did I say that. now I'm officially sad anyway, I couldn't believe what dean did in this episode when I watched it for the first time and still can't so I'm posting this.

[daydreamingatnight209]

I’m not sure on how I feel about this one, but I’m posting it anways 😅🤞

Feedback is welcome - Hate is not ✨💕

“My Best Friend, My Girlfriend, My Everything”

Colson Baker x Female Reader

Warnings - Slight angst, fluffy ending 💕

Prompts used: Credit goes to all original owners -

1. "How drunk are you?" "V...Very." "Drunk enough not to remember tonight? "Hmm." "Good. I love you. And I'm tired of being just your best friend."

2. "He will never know that I like him." "Why?" "Because I'm just one of the million stars, and he's the moon.

3. I can’t believe it took me all these years to realise how I truly feel about you.

4. "Wow those bloodstained clothes really bring out your eyes... Of course I'm being sarcastic! Get over here and let me stitch you up!"

—————————————————————————

Most would think that traveling with an international superstar who also happened to be your lifelong best friend, would mean hitting the jackpot in life. But realistically after a month stuck surrounded by testosterone in such close quarters with a bunch of men who often act like overgrown toddlers , you can’t help but begin to feel like a glorified babysitter. You suppose it doesn’t help that you also happen to be ridiculously in love with said best friend.

After one particular show, you found yourself back on the tour bus while the others went out to celebrate another successful show.

Just because you were Colson’s friend, didn’t mean that you didn’t have your part to play. You liked to feel useful so you took up a part time role, sharing managerial duties with Ashley. This time you found yourself working with Sam to provide visual content for the fans and ensure that Colson’s schedule was running smoothly.

When the quietness you’d been experiencing over the last couple of hours suddenly ends, You couldn’t help but internally roll your eyes. climbing out of your bunk you go to see what all the commotion was about.

You enter the main sitting space and your mouth swings open in shock. In front of you Colson’s face was caked in blood and his clothes were stained with the same substance Rook was laughing hysterically at him and Slim had a smirk on his face, which he attempts to cover when he sees the look on your face.

“What in the actual hell happened here?!” You exclaim.

“Y/N helloooooo”

Colson rushes over to try and embrace you but you hold him at arms length, not wanting to get covered in his blood.

“Look at this, how cool does this look!” He says giddily, jumping around like an overgrown puppy, trying to show the jagged cut that seems to run down his forehead.

“Oh yeah really cool, those bloodstained clothes really bring out your eyes.”

Colson looks at you with glassy eyes and a slightly confused expression on his face and a pout on this face.

“Are you being sarcastic?”

“Yes, of course I am being sarcastic! Get in there and let me stitch you up!” You shout out in frustration and worry. You leave him alone for one night and this happens!

Grabbing his hand you force yourself and his tall frame into the tiny bathroom cubicle, with the first aid kit under the sink.

Colson collapses down onto the toilet seat as you begin to clean his face.

He winces softly as you clean around the wound and begin to apply the temporary stitches.

“How did this even happen anyways?” You ask him as he fiddles with the loose threads on your jumper.

“Rook said I couldn’t do parkour over a car, so obviously I had to prove him wrong” he mumbles, the amounts of alcohol he had consumed during the night finally catching up with him.

You couldn’t help but sport a small smile on your face, because of course it was something just so stupid.

Once you were satisfied with your work, you pack away the first aid kit and attempt to pull him up but Colson just pulls you down easily onto his lap and wraps his long arms around your frame.

“You are that best person I know Y/N. I’m so lucky to have you as my friend”

How drunk are you?" You whisper as you lean against his chest.

“V...Very."

"Drunk enough not to remember tonight?” You asked curious.

Normally Colson’s memory no matter what he drinks is top tier.

"Hmm yeah, probably” he answers, resting his head on your shoulder.

At that response and the fact that you didn’t want him falling asleep in the tiniest toilet possible you stand up and grab is hand once more. He doesn’t protest when you lead him to the back of the bus to where his bedroom is.

He throws his weight into the bed and watch him crawl under the covers.

“Night Kells” you whisper and go to exit the room to head back to your own bunk.

Before you can make it through the sliding door, your best friend speaks up, his voice raspy and slightly needy.

“Stay with me?”

You hesitate at first, not really knowing If you could handle being that close to him for the entire night. Your heart was already beating twice as fast as it should, but you aren’t really great at denying Colson. You never was. So when a cracked, “please” leaves his mouth, you cave and climb under the covers with him.

It doesn’t take long for sleep to claim him but the same doesn’t happen for you. You’ve lost count of how many times you and Colson have shared a bed over the years but where he sees friendship, recently you’ve been struggling to stop the lines from blurring.

Colson wraps you up in his arms subconsciously, like he’s done so many times before, yet this time you find yourself frozen as you stare softy at his peaceful sleeping face.

“I love you Colson Baker. I love you and I'm tired of being just your best friend."

A tear escapes your eye, letting it fall, you wait for what feels forever for sleep to fall over you.

———————————————————

The next morning you are up and out of Colson’s room before he awakens and do your best to avoid him and any awkward conversations that the day might entail. You weren’t exactly to ready to find out if he remembered his night.

No one really picks up on your behaviour and you think you made it through the day perfectly, before Ashley corners you backstage at soundcheck.

“You like him don’t you? In fact it’s more than that … you are in love with him”

Knowing that you can’t hide the truth from your friend, you look her in the eye and give her a sad smile.

“He can never know that I like him."

"Why?" Ash questions you.

"Because I'm just one of million stars, and he's the moon, he deserves so much better that me”

You slightly cruse the tears that begin falling once more and do your best to wipe them without ruining your make up.

Ash gives you a soft smile and shakes her head.

“I’ve seen the say that boy looks at you. You may think he’s the moon but he looks at you like you’re the one holding his entire world. Last night should have been enough evidence! It was you he wanted to patch him up, it was you he wanted attention from and it you he wanted to hold. It’s always you. It’s not about what you can give him or what he can give you, it’s simply about the love that you share and the happiness you provide each other. He doesn’t want to be Mr international superstar with you. He just wants to be Colson, your Colson.”

After her little speech, Ashley leaves you alone as you try and process her words. But you weren’t alone for long as a voice behind you startles you.

“She’s right you know.”

You gasp and turn to fave the voice you knew all too well.

“Colson! What the hell?!”

“She’s right” he repeats.

“Right about what exactly?”

“You might think I’m the moon, but you are my whole world. You are more than just a star, so, so much more.”

“Colson…” you close your eyes, unsure on if you want to have this conversation, but realistically you knew there was no escape.

Colson stalks forward, invading your personal space and holds your chin in his fingers so that you are holding direct eye contact with each other.

“I heard you last night… your confession. I wasn’t really asleep and frankly I’m surprised I remembered this morning. In all honesty i was going to pretend until you felt ready to have the conversation but after hearing what you said to Ashley, well I couldn’t pretend anymore. I can’t believe it took me all these years to realise how I truly feel about you. I can’t believe it took stupid dare inflicted injury and a single moment in a tour bus bathroom for everything to fall into place”

With shaky hands, your fingers touched the small wound on his head and caressed it lightly.

Not trusting your voice, you whisper out a quick response, “I’m so happy it did”.

Colson takes that as cue to plant a kiss on you, a moment you felt as if you could live in forever, before he pulls away to look at you.

“I’ll love, protect and cherish you, forever. My best friend, my girlfriend, my everything.”

[apocalypseornaw]

Wanna be Yours (Pt 5/5)

(A/N: I hate the scene this gif is from don't get me wrong but dayum is Sam gorgeous af in it)

Sam Winchester x Reader

Feelings are finally admitted and acted upon

@lacilou s idea that she graciously let me run with

NSFW things ahead

"Are we going to talk about whatever happened the other night when we were at the bar with Ronnie?" Dean cut his eyes up at Sam when he sat down across from him at the table and shrugged "Don't know what you mean?"

Sam leveled his brother with a look "I mean we were all getting along just fine, me and Ronnie were dancing then all of a sudden we needed to hit the road? And the twins never did show up" Dean shrugged again "Maybe they decided to stop off at a hotel, who knows with those two"

Sam shook his head, he wasn't ever going to get a straight answer out of Dean and since that night you would hardly be in the same room as him. He felt like he was being left out of a big secret and didn't like it. "I think there's more than that" Sam pushed and Dean let out a hard breath of air "You want the honest truth?" Sam nodded "Yeah, I do"

---------------

Dean glanced towards the hall then back at Sam "I see how you look at her Sammy. I've known you your entire life" Sam felt his eyes widen, so Dean knew. Shit, he hadn't ever wanted his older brother to know he had feelings for his girl.

"Dean, you got to know I never meant to develop feelings for her" he didn't miss the look of confusion that flashed across Dean's face "What do you mean never meant to.." but he cut him off "I know you and her are close and I wouldn't want to step on your toes with anything but she's just well she's her... she's beautiful and smart. She's as sarcastic as you are but the sweetest person you've ever wanted to meet at times. She's one of the most amazing hunters I've ever met, she'll stand toe to toe with a demon and not blink an eye but she'll tear up at some movie she's watched a thousand times or get into a book she's read a hundred times to the extent she'll throw it into the wall. She's a force of nature, she's got this pull to her.. I'm sorry man but yeah I've fallen for her. I hope you can forgive me"

Sam expected a lot in that moment. Yelling, Dean to walk out hell anything except for Dean to start laughing. "What?" He questioned and Dean shook his head, laughing harder "You've been thinking all these years that me and Y/N what exactly...keep quiet and mess around behind your back? You've seen me go home with women!"

Sam shrugged, feeling like he was missing out on a lot "I figured it may be an open relationship? I mean you two move on hunts like you share one mind. You have unspoken conversations, she likes a lot of the stuff you like and she's been a steady in your life since you were nineteen"

Dean shook his head again before wiping a hand down his face "Yeah, Sammy she's my best friend. She means a lot to me but we've never crossed any lines like that. Jesus I thought you two were smart"

Sam shrugged one shoulder "Yeah well...wait us two?" Dean's face was nearly comical when he caught his slip up "Shit she's gonna kill me. Don't tell her I said that ok?" A smile slipped onto Sam's face "Are you saying she feels the same?" Dean rolled his eyes at that "For fucks sake, you're a grown man she's a grown woman, go talk to her. I'm not getting in the middle of it"

Dean stood to walk out the kitchen leaving Sam to wonder what his next move should be.

You were standing in the laundry room, waiting for your load to get done when Dean popped his head into the door "Hey sweetheart, I'm headed to meet Donna and Garth. I'll be back in a few hours. You need anything?"

You shook your head "No i think im good. Might want to grab more detergent and dryer sheets. Is Sam going with you?" He held your gaze for a moment before saying "Nope. He'll be here" you rolled your eyes "Does Donna and Garth even need your help?" He simply grinned "I'll see you tonight" "Yeah. Be safe so I can kick your ass when you get back" he laughed "You got it"

You watched him walk out and shook your head. He was trying to force your hand, damn him. You felt a chill and regretted running around the bunker in just sleep shorts and a tshirt but most of your clothes had been dirty. You looked around and found a stack of folded shirts on a shelf, you grabbed a flannel out of the bunch and slipped it over your shoulders. You weren't surprised when it fell to your thighs considering how short you were compared to both Winchesters.

--------------

You waited until both of your loads were done and folded then grabbed your basket to head to your room and put them away.

You clicked your radio on to play music and started humming along to the song as you moved around the room, replacing what clothes went into drawers and repacking your go-bag.

The thought of Sam being somewhere in the bunker kept flicking through your mind. Dean was right, you needed to tell Sam. Neither of you were blushing virgins here. You shook your head and finished putting your laundry away.

Once you were done you turned the radio off then headed out of your room. The floor was cold under your bare feet but you were headed for Dean's tv room. The thought was to hide from Sam but you needed something to drink first.

You stepped into the kitchen and nearly ran back out when you spotted Sam pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge but froze when he looked up at you and smiled "Y/N"

---------------

Sam had gone on an early run then grabbed a shower after Dean left. He needed to clear his head and think about what to do.

He walked into the kitchen to grab some water and the moment he leaned into the fridge he heard a noise behind him and looked up to see you standing in the doorway. You were wearing black sleep shorts and one of Dean's old Led Zeppelin shirts but what struck out to him was the fact that you were wearing his flannel as well. The image of you only wearing his flannel flashed his mind and he cursed himself for it. He didn't even really know how you felt or what you wanted.

---------------

He felt a smile slip onto his face "Y/N" you smiled back at him "Hey Sam. Um pass me a bottle of water?" He held the one out that was in his hand "Here, I haven't opened it" you took it with a nod "Thanks"

You stood there for a moment then motioned towards the hall "Want to watch a movie?" He didn't hesitate to say yes. He grabbed another bottle of water and followed you down the hall.

--------------

You were acutely aware of Sam at your back as you walked down the hall trying to think of a good movie you could watch with him but all you could think about was how those black joggers fit him and how tight that shirt looked across his shoulders.

You walked into the TV room and flicked the string lights on instead of the overhead then grabbed the remote. You sat down on one side of the couch and Sam sat on the other. You finally decided on a slasher flic you and Dean had watched a thousand times.

---------------

You settled back into the cushions and tried to concentrate on the screen but you felt Sam's eyes on you. After a minute you paused the movie and turned to face him, tucking one leg under your body "Yes Samuel"

He grinned slightly "That's my flannel" you raised an eyebrow "Oh, I'm sorry. I can take it off" You moved to pull it off your shoulders but he grabbed your arms gently "Looks better on you" you were a bit too aware of how close the two of you were in that moment and he quickly dropped your arms muttering an apology.

You stared at each other for a moment before you both tried to speak. He smiled "Ladies first" you nodded moving a bit closer to him "Cards on the table here Winchester. I have feelings for you. It's developed over times and just gotten worse. It's awkward because you're my best friend's brother and younger than me but it happened"

--------------

He was silent for a moment and you were mentally kicking Dean's ass when Sam suddenly reached across pulling you into his lap. You gasped at the sudden movement, bracing your hands against his chest.

He smiled up at you and your breath caught "Thank God because if I had to go much longer without doing this I don't know what I'd do" you were about to question him when he pulled you down to him.

The moment your lips met his you melted against him. His lips moved against yours like he was a drowning man pulling in his last breath of air. Your hands found his hair, tangling in it and he groaned lightly as he tightened his grip on you, rolling his hips up to meet yours as his tongue flicked into your mouth.

-------------

When you were forced to pull away to catch your breath he rested his head in the bend of your neck, both of your chests were heaving slightly. You felt his lips teasing the skin of your neck and fought against the moan that wanted to escape you "Sam" He stilled his movements "I like you saying my name like that"

You smiled but pulled back further to force him to look at you "Are we both wanting the same thing?" He bought up one hand to push your hair back out of your face "I want you Y/N, not just for a couple hours or a couple days. I haven't felt like this about someone in a long time. It's been absolute torture thinking you were with Dean" you laughed at that "You thought me and Dean?" He groaned lightly "I did"

You shook your head "You beautiful, idiotic man. I've had eyes for you for so long it's kind of pathetic" he grinned "like having a crush on my brothers best friend isn't?" You shrugged then smiled at him "Where were we?"

---------------

He pulled you back into a kiss. He started at your lips then kissed down your jaw and when he made it to your neck you didn't try to stop the light moans that escaped you. You rolled your hips against his and he groaned again, grabbing your hips "Babygirl, tell me what you want here" you felt your stomach flip at his words and the way he said them "I want you to take me to your room and show me just how much you want me" "I can do that"

You stumbled into Sam's bedroom, lips never breaking fully from each other. Once the door was shut he pushed your back against it then leaned down to slip his hands under your thighs and lift you up. You gasped as you wrapped your legs around his waist, feeling how his body was reacting to you.

His hips rutted against yours as he swallowed every little sound he pulled from you. "Wanted you for so damn long....so fucking beautiful..." the praises falling from his lips for you had a fire growing in the pit of your stomach "Bed Sam. Please the bed" you mumbled against his lips and he nodded "I got you baby, I got you"

-------------

He carried you across the room to the bed and laid you down gently, holding himself up on his arms as he looked down at you. You couldn't help yourself, you reached up to let your fingertips trace the light stubble gracing his jawline "You are so fucking gorgeous Sam" the smile he gave you in return was warm enough to put the sun to shame "Y/N, you're everything"

His lips found yours again and you wrapped your legs around his waist pulling him down to you. His hips rolled down against yours and the feeling of his hard cock even through his joggers and your shorts was enough to make a moan of his name leave your lips "I want you Sam" He nodded "You got me"

You leaned up to shed the flannel and the shirt you were wearing and Sam pulled his shirt over his head as well tossing it behind him. The look in his eyes as he took in the sight of your bared chest had you clenching around nothing "So damn perfect" he whispered leaning down to catch one of your breasts between his lips.

"Fuck Sam" you moaned and felt one of his hands on your left leg, trailing up under the shorts you wore. His fingers got just shy of where you wanted them "Take em off Sam. Please" he chuckled against your skin before moving to the other breast giving it the same attention he had the other one.

He moved back up to your lips and time his mouth met yours you felt one of his fingers teasing at your entrance. You gasped into his mouth when it slipped past your folds. He added another after a moment, curling them upwards until he found that spot that had your back arching off the bed "You're so wet baby. Is this for me?" He teased working at your clit with his thumb while his fingers worked that spot deep inside of you.

You could feel that knot in your lower stomach building and when Sam moved his fingers just slightly to change the angle you felt it burst. You came with a scream of his name as he continued to finger you through your orgasm. When you pushed his hand away he slipped his fingers into his mouth, holding your gaze as he sucked them cleaned. "Taste so damn sweet"

You moaned "Fuck me Sam. Please" he grinned "Damn where is that smart mouthed woman that's always putting me and Dean in our place?" He reached for the hem of your shorts and pulled them down your legs before tossing them behind him "Sam Winchester I swear.." you started but was cut off by him laughing "Teasing babygirl. Just teasing"

He stood up to slip his joggers off and you felt your mouth drop open slightly. He was thick and long "Y/N, you good?" He asked, fisting his hard cock as a smirk slipped onto his face "I'm perfect baby, now C'mere" he climbed onto the bed, holding his weight up off of you.

When he got up to your face you pulled him down into a kiss and felt him push into you. A moan escaped you both at the feeling. He stilled once he was inside of you completely to give you time to adjust. His eyes fluttered shut just for a moment before he opened them "Fuck you feel fucking amazing" you laughed lightly considering the stretch of him had given way to pleasure "Good, move then"

He rolled his hips down into yours and you moaned "Just like that Sam" He buried his face in your neck, nipping and kissing the skin there as he worked his hips into yours, every thrust he was hitting that spot inside of you that had you seeing stars.

You were so damn close to coming again and he must have realized it because one hand slid between your bodies to play with your clit while his movements never slowed. You felt that knot burst again and your vision went fuzzy around the edges as he fucked you through your orgasm.

His thrusts started to get sloppy and more erratic and you knew he was close so you started to roll your hips up to meet his. "Come for me Sam. Let me feel how much you want me....you're so damn gorgeous and strong and fucking perfect for me..."

Your words pushed him over the edge and he buried himself inside of you with one final thrust and you felt when he came, filling you up.

-------------

You could feel your legs shaking gently around him as he smiled down at you breathlessly "You are absolutely amazing you know that right?" You smiled "So my boyfriend tells me"

He gave you one of those heart stopping smiles again "Smart man, that boyfriend of yours" you nodded "He really is" He pulled out of you gently, apologizing when you whimpered a bit from the loss of contact.

---------------

He reached down and found his discarded shirt to wipe you up a bit before laying down next to you and pulling you over on his chest. He traced the antipossesion tattoo on your shoulder as you traced the one on his chest "Wanna grab another shower, with me this time?" You asked and he laughed "Never feel the need to ask me just say cmon we're gonna go shower"

You looked up at him with a laugh "I think I love you Sam Winchester" He smiled brightly "Good because I think I love you too"

@foxyjwls007

@lacilou

@nelachu2423

@nix-rose

[variousficss]

[Bucky Barnes] set of 2 - part 11

Summary: bridging the abyss at the most bridging moment that exists. 🎄

next

Absolutely shit.

Lost. Confused. Boring. Upset.

Bucky's state.

"Man, this is not how I imagined my Christmas night."

"You're free to go anytime, Sam. Nobody's keeping you here."

Stubborn. Moron. Stupid ass. Ugly ass blue eyes, man.

Sam's thoughts.

"Man, this is sad as fuck, c'mon. Look at you", Sam pointed to Bucky's tired face. "You look like a homeless guy, and my uncle was an actual homeless homie, and man, let me tell you: you look waay worse than him."

Bucky didn't say anything back, just drinking his beer.

"Bucky, man, we need to talk," Sam said, his tone both firm and friendly. He knew Bucky was struggling, but the soldier would die before being the first to bring up the conversation.

Bucky glanced at him, reluctance in his eyes. "Talk about what?"

Sam sat down beside him, choosing his words carefully. "About you and YN. Something's off, and I'm not buying the "I'm protecting-her' excuse anymore."

"It's not an excuse!" Bucky sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I can't make you understand how terrified I am of losing her. I can't do this to her, Sam."

Sam leaned back, studying Bucky's troubled expression. "You're not protecting her by shutting her out, Buck. You're just hurting YN. And yourself."

"I just... ", Bucky looked away. Sam was right. You were right, too. He just couldn't convince himself. That he wouldn't break you. "... after the mission, the soldier... the reminders of what I used to be. I can't let her get caught up in all that."

Sam nodded, understanding the deep-rooted fears that haunted Bucky. "Look, I get it. But YN cares about you. She wants to be there for you. You're shutting her out isn't doing either of you any favors. You don't seem better for being away from her, and maybe that's a sign." Bucky remained silent, the internal struggle evident in his eyes. Sam continued, "Maybe it's time to let her in. You don't have to face everything alone, Buck. You’re allowed to be happy, y’know? And she's strong, you know? Stronger than you give her credit for."

You were. You are. Stronger than him, for sure. The way you look at him, making him feel like he's the only one you see in the room, the way you feel at ease about joking with him and sharing mundane things—all that made Bucky fall in love. Despite his efforts to keep you away, you refused to do so. You refused to let him alone. The walls he had erected to protect you were, in fact, isolating both of you. He was alone. Worse: he left you alone, too. If you needed Bucky just a little as much as he wanted you, Bucky couldn't express how much he had screwed up. What if you needed him too? What if you wanted him just like he wanted you? If you wanted him, why was he denying you that? He wanted you just as badly.

~~~~~ the other day ~~~~~~

Bucky didn't pay much attention when he first heard the sound of the cafe door opening and closing, nor did he pay much attention when he heard someone walking towards him. It was only when you pulled out the chair in front of his and sat down that he finally started to notice.

Startled and perplexed by the person's bold actions, Bucky looked up from his laptop screen, a frown already forming as he prepared to reprimand the stranger, only to freeze in shock when he realized who was sitting in front of him. Instantly, his heart began to pound and he shakily closed the book, leaning back in his chair as he took a sip of his refreshing drink, trying to shake off his growing nervousness. How did you know where he was? He was going to a different cafe since he decided to get away from you, going to the cafe you hated: Starbucks.

Realizing he wasn't going to speak, you frowned, just like Bucky did when he was frustrated about something but too tired to argue.

“One would almost think you were avoiding me...” You finally spoke, your tone painfully sarcastic.

Despite the nonchalant way you said, Bucky could feel the pain behind your words, the realization making him shift guiltily in response.

“Why?” Bucky realized you were trying hard not to sound angry and accusatory with your words, but instead they just sounded heartbroken and lost, something that was much more painful for him to hear. “You always hide when you're in pain and I haven’t said anything and I haven't been looking for you in the last few days because I believe in privacy and I know you’re struggling..."

Bucky didn't know what to say.

"Why don’t you talk to me anymore? We used to talk all the time, Buck.", you confessed and you fought not to fill your eyes with tears. "I just want my friend back."

"I never said we were friends", the soldier mumbled, unable to look you in the eyes.

"Why are you acting like this? I know you’re going through a tough time, but so am I. I hate this, Bucky. Have I done something to get us here?", Bucky shook his head, but you kept going. "Tell me what I’ve done and I’ll fix it."

And there it was: Bucky hurting you again. Even when he tried to keep his distance. He hurt you even when he wasn't around and continued to do so when he was.

“You haven’t done anything, Doll. It's me, I'm the one that's fucked up. If you keep me around you think is gonna get better? That people will stop looking at you like they do?! Even at your job, you think they'd want to have a coworker that's friends with the Winter Soldier?!", he cringed at the way he sounded. "it won't stop, Doll. You know it won't."

"I don't care."

"Yeah? You don't? Do you want to keep getting beaten? "

"No, I don't want any of that, Bucky. You never lifted your hands to me, but I’m your punching bag all the same."

And now he felt like the one who got punched. You were right.

"I know I'm not much, but I really enjoy having you around, James.", you confessed as you looked away from his deep blue eyes.

"What did you say?", Bucky was confused.

"Come on, Bucky. You and I know very well that I am the most ordinary person in thi fucking world. I don't save the world and I'm not even the best worker in my company. I don't have thousands of followers on Facebook and I don't even have many friends. There's nothing special about me. I know this and I know you do too. I like being with you because you know that and it doesn't bother you. I can be ordinary with you because you are exactly the opposite. You have this bunch of things going on for you and you can deal with them. You have been harmed in unimaginable ways, yet you still care about whether I ate or slept well. By the way, leaving food on my apartment door is a bit stalkerish. What kind of Sugar Daddy will people think I have?"

Wow. Lots of information. In those days when you were apart, Bucky missed how you could talk about several topics in a single breath. He could feel the sincerity in your words, the genuine concern and care you had for him. For a moment he was speechless, overwhelmed by the depth of his feelings.

"You're not ordinary to me," he finally repeated, his voice a low murmur. "I admire you because you’re funny and snarky, sarcastic as all hell, but you don’t know. That’s why you don’t understand. You don’t know what I used to be like. You don’t know what it was like in my head. I lived in a really dark place,” he says to you. “I wasn’t safe in my own mind. I woke up every morning hoping to die and then spent the rest of the day wondering if maybe I was already dead because I couldn’t even tell the difference. I created a routine, to protect myself.", he confessed. "If I do the same things every day then nothing changes. But with you? something new happens everyday."

"With me? Bucky, you literally fight again every single day, how your days changes because of me?"

"Because I'm used to fighting, Doll. I'm used to getting punched and stabbed and all of that shit. I'm good at it. But with you? Your hearts beats differently everytime I see you and I don't know what it means. You look at me differently and you support me even when I fucked up. I don't know what to do when you do these stuff."

"So what? Do you want me to stop?", you ask more sharply than you meant to.

"I enjoyed not needing anyone. I didn’t need anyone else to make me feel safe. I was getting good again because I didnt care, but with you? I care. I care a lot and it’s as if I’m relying on everyone else", Bucky didnt know if he was talking to himself of to you anymore, but his words felt so honest. Brutally honest. "I hate it. I don’t want my entire world to depend on anyone else but me." he piercied his eyes deep into yours.

You nod in agreement. If that was the problem, than you knew how to fix it.

"You don’t need anyone but yourself, but you can have me anyway, Buck.", you stated simply.

Bucky sighed, his internal struggles evident in his eyes. He looked at you, searching for any sign of doubt or hesitation. Yet, all he found was sincerity and a kind of understanding only you showed him.

"You're offering something I don't deserve, doll" he admitted, his gaze shifting to the tabletop.

"Deserve? Who decides what we deserve, Bucky?" you replied, your voice steady and resolute. "Life doesn't work that way. Sometimes, you just find someone who makes the journey a little less lonely. I'm not here to fix you. I'm here because I want to be."

Bucky's eyes softened, and for a moment, the weight on his shoulders seemed to lift, if only slightly.

"I'm a mess, Y/N. I'm not good company," he warned.

"I don't care," you reassured him, leaning forward and passing the item that was wrapped in your hand to his . A bracelet. "I made this for you.", you showed him the bracelet, without time to wrap it you just put it in your bag hoping he wouldn't mind. It said 'White Wolf', the name he had been given in Wakanda after everything was over and he was finally free. Bucky had told you this at the very beginning of your friendship with him. How that name had a special meaning for him. White Wolf signified Bucky's rebirth and redemption. A new beginning, a new identity and a chance to find purpose and peace. And he found it. He was finding it. And you were more part of it than you knew.

He didn't move as you placed the small item on his arm. It was cute.

You watched as Bucky examined the bracelet, his fingers tracing the engraved words. He looked at the bracelet, and for the first time since you sat down, a genuine smile touched his lips. "I... I don't know what to say," he admitted, his eyes meeting yours.

"You don't have to say anything," you replied, pushing your chair back and getting up. "I gotta go now."

"Wait, what?," the soldier asked confused. "You're leaving?"

You turned to face him, one eyebrow raised in question. "Hell, yeah. It's Christmas and I have a couple of movies to marathon. My friend bailed out on me", you smiled, but the smile didnt quite reach your eyes.

“So you just came here to scold me?", he asked confused.

“Pretty much. And besides, friends don't let friends wallow in self-pity. So, get it together, Barnes.", you offered him a bigger smile this time. "I miss my friend, Buck." You grabbed the coffee Bucky was drinking and took it with you as you left.

"You're relentless, you know that?"

"It's a special skill," you replied, almost by the door. "See you around, Bucky."

next

Tag list: @almosttoopizza @creat0r-cat @aesthetic0cherryblossom  @cjand10 @sapphirebarnes @nouk1998 @unaxv @rain-lavender-rain @winterslove1917 @marvel-wifey-86

[stuckyfingers]

I'm just thinking about autistic Steve...

(I'm not as well educated about autism as I'd like to be so do correct me if I'm wrong)

Like, he's always been 'weird' even apart from his physical disabilities. He's felt a kind of self hatred over how sensitive he is to little things that are wrong but he can't explain why.

He hated talking but also loved talking about one specific thing that noone had any idea why he liked. (If someone can headcanon his hyperfixation, that'd be great). Either way, it didn't make him very popular among his peers. As a child he'd get bullied for just about anything because of how many faux pas-es he made.

He'd try to get home as soon as possible from school and shut himself into his plywood cabin of a room and cry. Bucky theorized that he was a vampire because of how much he liked fabric lined dark places.

He never guessed it wasn't normal to hate wearing clothes, so he continued living in constant discomfort and caution. Sarah had caught on to the specificities of how he needed his food and tried her best to get his safe foods on the table despite being poor. (Yes, she even called it that.)

Did I mention he also starts crying when he can't predict his day. And when things get more and more uncertain with the Depression swinging in, he gets so stressed that his heart problems worsen.

But having Bucky as a friend helps them both survive the times. Bucky was the only person who seemed unconcerned and unjudgmental about Steve's 'moodiness' and 'fidgeting'. He tried to understand when Steve described sensory overloads to him, and though he couldn't relate he accommodated Steve as much as he could.

Steve was frighteningly smart and picked up on every social cue he found, organizing them into a mental flowchart, assuming that this was what everyone did. But for most of his childhood he saw himself as less smart because Bucky seemed to be able to tell him things that he somehow still missed.

"Well how the fuck am I supposed to know that if they don't give any indication of being sarcastic?"

"Because it's not sarcasm, Steve... It's just- talking shop. A fake nice word, just because."

"How am I supposed to tell the difference?"

"Well, you just do. I don't know how you could... consciously do it."

By the miracle of God (and Bucky) he pushes through Eugenics era until 1943.

The Serum brings color to his eyes and more sound to his bad ear.

And he hates it.

But what's new is how much more physical energy he has to mask it.

It feels comparatively better to be able to mask without getting exhausted so fast, so he assumes his 'weirdness' has been cured and goes to war. In his line of work, however, he never gets a day's rest for his brain that craved routine, and because of how he's now able to push the feeling deep down and cover it up, Bucky can hardly recognize him.

And when he's out of the ice, his brain is turned to mush at having to learn new cues along with being autistic but anyone in that situation would have found it as difficult, so he passes it off.

One day he sees one of the people at Sam's VA talked about how their autism shaped their experience of PTSD differently, and Steve did the customary google search to learn more about it.

It said 'can't make eye contact'. But he knew the correct ratio of eye contact / looking away and what part of the eye he could look at so that it wouldn't drive him mad.

It said 'sensory issues' and he felt bad for those who actually had it because that must be horrible.

'Black and White thinking' okay but that doesn't mean- but see, he did know that illegal things weren't necessarily bad, right? He was ready to accept the criminality of something if it was a means to a moral end. And maybe there were some things that he could not see any nuance in but there were so many things he could. He couldn't have believed in Bucky if his thinking was Black and White right?

'Lack of empathy' No. Steve didn't understand people's feelings immediately, but he always logically guessed when they needed help. He kept note of the things that people found comforting so that he could be of comfort when they were down. He was empathetic, right?

He knew he wasn't autistic. (spoiler alert, he's just reading the symptoms from an outside perspective)

It's when he starts following more and more autistic creators that he felt less wrong for those weird things he did as a kid. He chuckles nervously scrolling through the tiktoks like "Ha ha why are ya'll so relatable"

He's not immune to the stigma but comes to terms with it. It feels a lot like how he came to terms with being queer. He's even surprised when he realizes that he was also wrongly assuming that it was gone because of the serum when it just became more manageable (for others) when he did.

Bucky listens like he always did when Steve explains things to him. And after a long while of living his truth with Bucky, Steve gets more comfortable describing himself as autistic to other people as well.

He starts experimenting with stimming, which already feels MILES better than forcing himself into a 'calm' and steady Captain's body language. Once he retires after Endgame, he surrounds himself with comfort and accommodations in his apartment and builds a routine he can finally be at peace with.

[monsterritory]

What are some of your feelings about awamdream? Any writing about it or drabbles? The ppl need food

Ask and I shall feed you. Also you are so in luck I was literally just thinking about them.

Every Dream ship has a very specific dynamic in my head, and I think AwesamDream is the most versatile of them. Because depending on your mood, you could either have Sam hating Dream so much that he loves him, or loving him so much that he hates him. I see him as generally obsessed with Dream. It was probably just an innocent, platonic lil crush before the prison. 

But Pandora's Vault introduced Sam to the concept of Dream beaten up and crying under him, and something inside of him switched when he felt like he was in control of somebody else. Ironically this is what Dream feels towards Tommy, which Sam despises him for. How dare Dream obsess over another man? Only Sam is allowed to do that. When Dream stalks and daydreams about hurting Tommy - it's wrong and obsessive, but when Sam does it to Dream - he's not doing anything wrong because he is a good guy and therefore incapable of being wrong. 

More under the cut.

Sidenote. The Drunz dynamic in my head is unwavering trust and loyalty. They can trust each other like nobody else. They have killed and revived each other for science, and for kinks. They feel confident putting their lives into each other's claws and being at each other's mercy. But at the same time they have a very healthy amount of life outside of each other, making them a perfect match, spare for the fact that they don't live together. 

But let’s say for the sake of this AU I’m crafting here that they do. 

Dream moves in with Punz after he escapes. Not into Punz’s house - into a new base far away from the Mainland. Dream is very traumatized, and Punz wants nothing more than to help him. They don’t even have to try hard - they just treat Dream with human decency again, and it slowly starts to remind Dream that he’s a person with a right to be loved. 

(Another sidenote. My Dream is an impala hybrid, Punz is a coyote hybrid, and Sam is a creeper/mantis hybrid). 

It takes a few months and Dream realizes that he’s doing so much better than he did before. That is until he comes downstairs to find Punz arguing with Sam. God knows how he tracked them down, but the matter of fact is he is here, and Punz is yelling at him to leave before they kill him. 

Dream stays hidden by the doorway, listening to what they’re saying. 

“You got some balls showing up here without any armour. You know I could just take your last life, right here, right now?” 

“I know, I know. I'm not here to fight or harm anyone. Punz, I just need to see Dream. I need him back.” 

“Sure, let me go get him.” Punz jokes, sarcastically, “Do you really think he’s gonna go back to the prison just because you’ll ask him to?” 

“This isn’t about the prison!” Desperation is apparent in Sam’s voice. “It’s about me. I realized… I need him.” 

Punz continues telling Sam to leave, but then Dream interrupts the conversation, saying that he’s actually willing to give Sam a chance. It’s just that… 

“I’m not the same guy that escaped that cell.” Dream says to Sam. “I learned what I’m worth now. If you want to be with me - it’s Punz you’ll be competing with for a right to even be around me. And Sam, I promise to you, there will be many hoops to jump through, and there will be rules and expectations you haven’t even dreamt of.” 

Sam nods his head enthusiastically. He’ll do anything. He thinks he’ll die if he doesn’t get to touch Dream again. 

His desire to hurt Dream has grown into a desire to protect him over the course of the months that they spent apart. To hold him in his arms, and maybe it’s the Warden side of him that has merged in a tango with the side of him that’s obsessed with Dream. He wants to be the right kind of Warden this time. 

During the same scene I imagine Sam tries to touch Dream - not with any malicious intent. He just misses him so much. Maybe Dream walks past him, but trips over something on the floor, and Sam catches him before he falls, gripping his hand by the wrist. Dream ends up pushing him off, startled, then suddenly yells for him to leave, now, right now, immediately. Punz stands between them, emphasizing how important it is that Sam leaves now. 

Sam doesn’t get it. Until he hears ragged breathing come from Dream. He’s having a panic attack, from something as small as having Sam grip his hand so that he doesn’t fall over. 

He may know better now, but some traumatic events are still too freshly engraved in his brain. 

Sam can’t help but feel hurt. He’s finally seeing just how deeply he fucked up the man he just realized he loves with all of his soul. 

His path to earning Dream’s trust again would take at least a 300k hurt/comfort slowburn. But this is all you’re getting from me tonight.

[catgirl-catboy]

choose violence 3 6 7 8 9 10 16 22 and 25 for total drama (and i’ve just realized that’s a lot a lot so obvi if u don’t wanna answer all of them that’s all good)

No worries! I'm happy to scream about Total Drama! Worst case scenario, I get tired and simply finish the rest later.

3.) screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

Shipping Raj x Wayne is somehow homophobic because Raj is in a canon gay relationship. Polyamory is a thing, and somehow I don't think homophobes would enjoy the idea of a fanon m/m ship somehow.

Honestly, any time people expect canon queer couples to be given special treatment in fandom it annoys the shit out of me. Someone will dislike the vibes of the ship. Its inevitable. Honestly, I'm surprised that someone wasn't me this time, since happy relationships like Rajbow aren't usually my jam.

6.) which ship fans are the most annoying?

Can I bash the shippers for my favorite TD ship (of Duncney) for a second?

Shut up about the love triangle. Shut up about Courtney's character derailment. Literally every ship was wronged by canon, we aren't fucking special. A vast majority of the ship tag shouldn't be bitching about canon.

7.) what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

...honestly, thats a hard one. I feel like hate is a strong word, but I don't understand the hype for Noah. (and any Noah ship that isn't Nowen or Noah x Emma.)

Like, sure. He's sarcastic. So what. That makes him a 5/10 at best. He never does anything but be sarcastic and then be mindlessly in love.

I don't hate him though.

8.) common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

lean in. come closer, I don't want anyone else hearing this.

Dramarama is good. and funny. and I like it. Why is it despised?

9.) worst part of canon

The fart jokes are low hanging fruit, so I won't pick them.

I hate how everyone in gen 1 had to be coupled up. What relevance Izzy/Owen have on the season as a whole? Or Geoff/Bridgette? (I like them but point still stands.)

If you introduce a canon couple and get me invested in the romance, it has to actually go somewhere. Lyler was a plot device to get you to hate Heather. Duncney went through an entire arc. Gwent was amazing.

Why do no other ships bring that energy?

I love Samkota, but Sam was just a trophy husband for Dakota after her mutation. He's a passive participant in his own romance arc.

Gens 3 and 4 improve on this I think, but it still annoys me.

10.) worst part of fanon

this is incredibly petty and personal, but WHY IS CODY EVERYWHERE? He squicks me. So much. (honestly, the fact that he reminds me of a past experience when most creep characters don't proves that he feels like a real person. but no.) Why is half the fandom Cody. Can it not be?

16.) you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

I answered this before and I said Lesbian Emma. Now, I'm going to go with Gwortney. These two could barely sell and interesting friendship, and somehow you expect them to carry an entire romance plotline? Its the most bland of bland ships. If you want a Sapphic way to resolve the despised love triangle, Gweather is right there. They actually have chemistry.

It feels like they took all of Duncan's hard work of getting Courtney to relax and enjoy life, and made Gwen have the same effect on her when it doesn't make sense with the characterization. If anything, Courtney making Gwen be more serious makes sense.

(that being said, I'm glad you are having fun, and will reblog cute art.)

22.) your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

The episode recaps. I want Chris to recap my day. I love them.

25.) common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

Other than the love triangle?

Heather's plot armor.

Owen had just as much, if not more plot armor. He makes the group sleep in the woods? Fuck it, Katie and Sadie get lost.

Single-handedly blows the cooking challenge? Uh... (Total Drama writers thinking up Bullshit) Beth and the Statue pisses everyone off more, somehow!

He betrays the guys alliance? This has no concequences for him.

At least Heather's plot armor didn't cause her to win a season.

[shadow3142]

hello. 👊🙉(parker), 💥👪🪤(sev), 🌙👑(general), 📣🔪🌪️(adam) (or pick and choose lol)

Long one so under the read more it goes

👊Are they quick to violence? (Parker)

Not in the slightest. While Parker is often sarcastic and snarky, he's not a very violent person. He's the Splatoon's medic for a reason

🙉What is the worst thing your OC could hear from someone? (Parker)

I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say any sort of Ad Hominem would do it. Parker has very low self confidence to start with so attacks on his person are near guaranteed to fuck him up. Worst over all though? I couldn't tell you.

(I'm still very much working on Sam's character so these next 3 are shots in the dark)

💥What emotions do they have trouble dealing with? (Sev/Sam)

Affection and/or positive feelings for others. Sam is a bit of a stoic and was raised in a very unfriendly environment, so when people like Adam and Cassie come along and show her that life isn't a constant uphill battle it's a very new thing to deal with for her. Well, not new, but unfamiliar.

👪 What is their family like? What is your ocs relationship to them? Does your oc have any siblings? (Sev/Sam)

Sev's relationship with their family is . . . quiet. In truth, they ran away from home at some point in their lives and hasn't looked back, so they haven't seen or heard from their family in a very, very long time. I'm not sure if they had any siblings or not, but even if they did their contact with them is long dry.

🪤What will always lure them into certain danger? A loved one in danger? A promise of something they are always searching for? (Sev/Sam)

Both of those, actually! Though more so the latter. Sev's story is likley going to largely revolve around her looking for some sort of purpose in life, and she'd do anything to find where she belongs. On the other hand, I can see her picking up a bit of Adam's fierce loyalty to others, so say someone like Cassie finds themselves in danger, she'd run headlong into danger to save her.

🌙 What is your oc’s greatest wish? How far are they willing to go for it? (General)

All General wants in life is to see his family happy, especially his brother. He'd do anything to give them the lives they deserve.

👑 What does your oc want to be remembered as? Why? (General)

I don't think General really cares for legacy. He's already remembered as a fantastic turf war player, but that doesn't entirely matter to him. What does matter is how those around him remember him, whether it be the people he meets along the way or those stuck to him like glue. To them, he wants to be remembered for who he is, a friend, a protector, and a brother.

📣 How loud are they? What do they speak like? Got a voice claim? (Adam)

Adam can vary from being very soft spoken to the loudest bitch in the room, though most of the time he speaks at a very moderate level. His voice is surprisingly soft for someone in his line of work, and he speaks with a mild southwestern accent that really comes out when emotions are high. Voice claim wise, he's a cross between Matt Lanter and Pedro Pascal. I Flip between the two a lot.

🔪 how do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? do they put themselves at blame? (Adam)

Adam will lose his fucking mind. He hates seeing his loved ones in pain, and will automatically think It should've been me. He'll panic, he'll want to do everything in his power to help them. He'll stay with them day and night until he's sure they're okay. I mentioned it before, but Adam is fiercely loyal, and his greatest strength is the very same thing that can send him spiraling out of control.

🌪️ what is the biggest change you’ve ever made to them? how have they changed from their original version? (Adam)

The serious answer is Adam's soft side. He didn't have than initially and was just a jackass through and through. It really wasn't until I put him next to Jessie that I began fiddling with the idea of Adam's anger and pissy personality just being a facade, and he wasn't always like that. The actual answer is I gave him melanin.

[viky2318]

THIS TURNED OUT TO BE A LONG. LAST. CHAPTER.

As the cat got through the portal, the void she just stepped in shifted. It suddenly was a lightly illuminated street of New Home, and the only visible being (other than Muffet, the smiling man and Flowey) was Sam. The human was laying on a wall, looking at them with a careful look. Maddy immediately summoned their staff but didn’t attack them immediately. She felt the man next to her almost telling her not to move for now, even if he was silent. The second the human met gaze with the tall man next to Maddy, they frowned a little in concern and their body tensed slightly. "... So… it has been a pretty long time, hasn't it? Where is the other you? I honestly was expecting to see him", Sam commented. The smiling man shook his head, smiling quietly. "Sam, young one, why would I ever trust you to speak with him? You would just shatter him, like the last time. Now, could you please be a good child and stop playing with your toys? We have to go home". The human almost chuckled at his words, disappearing under everyone's eyes as if they were never there. Muffet tensed, her upper pair of hands turning into spikes. "You know… it had been a funny game", the human started, their voice coming from an indefinite direction. "I've learned a lot of things through it! Like the fact that the stories in this world have really rigid rules. The protagonist always wins no matter what, for example. They might look like they lost, but they'll get up and fight. If they die, they either weren't the real protagonist or died as a hero. Another rule? The villain has three options: having an eternal fight against everyone, becoming good, or losing. And you know what? To keep respecting those rules, creators make such absurd things! The villain could die in the most stupid, unoriginal, annoying way just because they were about to succeed. The protagonist could win in the most absurd ways, even accidentally, because that's just how the multiverse works". Sam reappeared in front of Maddy with a wide grin, before immediately moving away as she tried to strike a hit.

"I don't wanna "go home" now. Not because I really don't want to, but because in the end I will be forced to. Because I'm the villain, and so I have to lose".

In all this the tall man kept his cool perfectly, still quietly smiling and looking at the human as if he was looking at a pouting child. "... As expected. You're as stubborn as always", he commented quietly, his voice having a slight hue of something similar to sadness. Flowey, who remained silent until then, disappeared under the ground. Maddy almost felt the man’s gaze telling her she could go and act, and she didn’t think twice. She reached the human’s throat with a single quick movement and almost instantly grabbed them by the throat, her grip firm. The human tried to edit something as they did last time Maddy almost killed them, but nothing happened. Their frown deepened a little. “Oh? What’s this new trick, Maddy? You messed around with my keyboard, didn’t you?” they asked with a slight irony, probably meant to hide their subtle fear. The cat didn't reply and some thick, spiky vines sprouted all of the sudden under the human's feet, quickly wrapping around them and immobilizing them. Flowey sprouted next to Maddy, a wide amused grin on his face. "Huh. So I can't move and I can't edit codes. Now what? We could just glare at each other until one of us dies, but that sounds boring" Sam commented sarcastically, their eyes moving to the old man. The man shook his head, his smile widening a bit. "No, not really. We are just waiting for… a friend, we could say. I'm sure you remember Flowey's beloved mother…". The eyes of the human widened in fear at the mention of this person, whoever she was. "W-wait what? Nah, I don't believe you. Raehel hates your guts. she would never help you with anything". "I'm aware of it", the man replied. "But she'll surely help one of her children and a pair of kind souls". Sam frowned more in concern, probably trying to elaborate a way out of there. “Ok… so what’s Muffet here for? You never bring around extra people if not necessary”, they then commented quietly. The man chuckled. “Oh, I know. But When a story comes to an end, everyone tends to get to the same place. And who knows, maybe there is a good reason why she’s here. I’m not the one telling this tale, and neither are any of us”. Maddy huffed in annoyance. “Could you quit speaking weirdly? It’s frustrating”. The cat glanced at her friend. Muffet seemed uneasy. Maddy couldn’t blame her, of course. She had no freaking idea of what to do now, and everything seemed to start reaching an end. The spider was just standing there, glancing at the other four people in the small street from time to time with a slight wrinkle of worry in her face. Maddy then moved her attention to the miserable in her grasp. The human almost immediately moved their gaze on her, apparently thoughtful in their evident fear of what might come. She was barely keeping herself from choking them. She didn’t know why she was holding back at all. Maybe it was because there were other people, and so her homicidal temptation was limited by what they could think of her. Maybe it was because she didn’t value the human worth of effort. Maybe they still had some control over her actions. It surely wasn’t a sudden act of mercy though. Sam didn’t deserve anything. Not even the smallest glimpse of pity. … What was going to happen to them? Who was the lady the old man mentioned? He said she was Flowey’s mother, so probably it was a Toriel. Muffet mentioned her back when she found her in the Anti-Void and Sam seemed terrified of her. Why did everybody seem to know her??

A tall, smiling man approached her. The other old man was completely gone. “And who are you now?” the cat asked the newcomer, but he didn’t listen. The human looked at the man with an almost sour smile. “Oh well, that’s surprising. Why, of all times, you decided to show up now? Why would the other let you get out at such a moment?” Sam questioned. Flowey looked at the man with a frown, but remained silent. Muffet spoke up (finally). “W-wait! You’re the old man I kept seeing around!”. Great. Someone else that everyone knew but Maddy. “... we had a small chat. I’m not here to let my sentimentalism destroy our work”, the man told Sam. The newcomer seemed tired, sorrow almost shining in his eyes, as if he had some sort of terrible burden in his soul. “Then why are you here? You two aren’t the kind of entity to risk too much”. The old man nodded quietly. “Of course, of course. I just wanted to see my child one last time, you know? Your abilities will be taken away and you’ll be closed in a corner of the multiverse, far away from everything and everyone in order to make sure you cannot bring any harm anymore. The other would have liked to see you gone, but I couldn’t really stand it”. The words of the man made the human only more concerned and scared. Not only that, but they took Maddy completely off guard. There was a way to completely take away Sam’s code abilities?!?!?! Did this mean no one would have suffered like her ever again? No more LV messy things? No more piles of innocents’ dust? No more…

The noise of a portal opening was heard, but Maddy didn’t turn around immediately. Some light and slow steps walked close to the cat, and she felt a terribly powerful soul next to her. Clearly more than a Toriel. There was too much magic in this soul to be just a normal Toriel. She must have absorbed some human souls or something like that. Those scary goat ladies… “Sam. Gaster. Seam. It had been a while”, a deep, stern voice commented. Maddy finally turned to see how the goat lady actually looked, and honestly didn’t expect to see her not only taller than the normal Toriel’s and with a pair of fancy Asriel-style horns, but also surrounded by small human ghosts. The cat felt the human tensing under her grasp, and she saw their eyes widening in worry. The old man was gone, and Seam was back in the exact spot where the other was before. How did the two swap places so quickly?! The old lady turned to Flowey and lowered a fluffy paw next to him. “Asriel, sweetie, why didn’t you call me sooner? If I knew you were going to do something so dangerous, I would have come with you! What if you got hurt?” she asked the flower, her voice suddenly sounding more warm and soft, kinda like a freshly made apple pie. Flowey gave a last glare to the human, then released them and climbed up the goat’s arm. “Don’t worry mother, I know how to protect myself”. The lady then glanced at Maddy and Muffet (who in the meanwhile got next to the cat), giving the two a quiet smile. “Young soul, could you kindly release Sam? I can take them from here”, she asked Maddy. Maddy looked at the lady for a moment, clearly hesitant to release the human, but then slowly left them go. That goat had some sort of aura, that sort of wisdom and kindness, that firm look and yet that soft voice… stuff only a mother- no, only a Toriel can do. A small, human, light gray soul jumped out of Sam’s chest, and he got lifted by a few centimeters from the floor as a thin yet close to unbreakable magic bubble surrounded them whole. The old lady moved her gaze back on the human, glaring at them sternly. “Sam. for what you did to these poor, innocent souls and to the many others that went helplessly missing due to your foolish choices and actions, I am forced to make sure you won’t be able to harm anymore”, the lady declared. She raised her hand in front of them, the small children fading away as the souls on her body started shining brightly…

“Wait a second, miss. The human here owes me and Maddy a friend”.

Muffet stepped between the goat and the human. Maddy’s eyes widened in surprise, but then she couldn’t help smiling a little.

Flowey made a shocked expression. “You’re joking, right? Now??” he exclaimed almost angrily. The goat lady furrowed, but didn’t say anything. Muffet kept speaking. “Sam caused too much damage to everyone, so much that probably there is no way to fix everything, but they must at least bring back Grillby”. The spider couldn’t sound more serious. Raehel remained silent for a moment, seemingly thoughtful, then smiled quietly. “... yes, you are perfectly right. If they are able to do it, then they have to fix their wrongs”. The goat laid her eyes on the human, and in the instant she did, Sam shivered. The human somehow managed to speak up (in her whole life Maddy never saw such a scared human). “... I, uhm- yes, I-I can do that! I j-just need a second, I-I… ” they stuttered out. The bubble that was trapping them disappeared and the human fell back on the ground, but their soul remained visible. They quickly got up, standing straight and without taking their eyes off the old lady. Maddy tensed as she saw them free, but before she could summon her staff the goat lady gently laid a hand on her shoulder. “Do not fret, dear. They cannot escape, nor can they lay a finger on anyone. I’ll make sure they do what they have to, and nothing more”, she explained with a warm smile.

“... W-well… I think I actually might be able to do a little more?” the human said quietly. Maddy and Muffet looked at them with suspicion. “Oh yeah? Why all of the sudden? Trying to get away?” Flowey asked sternly. Sam huffed in annoyance, but continued. “N-no, of course not. It’s not like I can do that right now. But… The moment this story ends, multiple other stories will start getting developed. And if the ones I made you kill remain dead… I’m pretty sure those won’t be happy stories”. The smiling man, who until then remained silent and watched, smiled widely. The goat lady raised a brow. “So you’re saying you’re gonna revive hundreds of souls all over the multiverse? By yourself?” she asked, a hint of skepticism in her voice but also… something like a little hope. The human rolled their eyes. “I just don’t want hundreds of people hunting down for me… But yeah, sort of. You see, to make sure a soul doesn’t come back at the next reset when they get killed, I start this little program where the files of the character gets moved outside of the universe files and get in a folder of this timeline’s data. I can of course run that protocol only when the soul gets killed by someone I control. Long story short, I think I can move the files back to the original universes…”. Rahel didn’t speak for a good minute, staring at the human’s small eyes silently with a look that seemed like it could almost tear people apart… then huffed, a little smoke coming out from her nostrils. “... It can be done. This doesn’t mean that after that you won’t be deprived of your powers and locked in your world” she stated. Sam seemed to tense again, probably because they were hoping for their punishment to get lighter. “... of course”, they simply said.

They raised their hand and the street faded away, changing into Sam’s house. They opened various Windows and text boxes, all over the living room and around the small group, then they started working with them. Slowly, the house started disappearing. One small chunk after the other, the walls and the furniture and the ceiling disappeared as if they never existed. After a few minutes, it was all gone. The text boxes and Windows disappeared, leaving only one small portal open. It was big enough to see through it, but maybe only Flowey could somehow fit in it. Looking in it, you could see the echo flowers of Waterfall. The human moved their hand again, and time seemed to move backwards on the other side of the portal. For a half second Maddy saw Grillby standing next to her, a confused expression in his usually plain face. But maybe she imagined it. Sam closed the portal, then took a deep breath. “... I finished here. Everyone should be back to their universe and Grillby is alive again. I… couldn’t restore his memory from after I took him from the timeline, so… yeah. He doesn’t have any memory of what happened”. Maddy for a moment felt a little anger building up in her soul. Sam’s words felt a little like losing Grillby a second time. But then she took a deep breath and kept her cool. She couldn’t ask for miracles. Surely she wouldn’t trust asking them to Sam after they already did a lot more than normal. The human faced the goat lady, still tense. The lady raised her hand again, Sam getting closed again in the magic bubble a few centimeters from the ground, and finally she casted her spell. A rainbow fire surrounded the human, so bright that it blinded Maddy for a half second, small glitches suddenly starting to flicker violently all around the human and the goat lady.

Almost as quickly as it started, it all finished. A human with short, brown-ish hair and honey skin fell back on the ground, breathing slowly and a little heavily. The human almost immediately noticed their colors, their small black eyes widening in confusion and surprise. Sam didn’t move for almost a minute, trying to get back in control of themselves. Their small, light blue soul went back in their chest as they slowly got up. The goat lady opened a portal and gestured to the old man, Muffet and Maddy, to follow her. The three walked through the portal, silent. “Farewell, Sam the human. I hope you’ll think about what you’ve done and you’ll understand your mistakes”, she told the human before walking in the portal as well and closing it.

START PREVIOUS EPILOGUE

[codenamebooks]

Stand Off Book Review

(Winger #2) by Andrew Smith | ⭑⭑⭑.2 stars | Goodreads | CW: grief, anxiety | Duology and Novel Spoilers

After the loss of his best friend, Ryan Dean takes on his senior year of high school with the impending doom of NATE (Next Absolutely Terrible Experience). Forced to take the next 12-year-old freshman, Sam Abernathy, under his wing, Ryan Dean stumbles through new and old friendships, anxiety, his girlfriend, and maturing.

I want to commend this book for finally reaching the spot of maturity for Ryan Dean West that was promised to us in the synopsis for the first novel. While bringing back the comics! I believe it shows that author either: 1) is very good at his craft in creating a long form narrative or 2) (and the more likely conclusion) that he also matured before sitting down with this second book. I feel like this is a great book for young boys because it can teach them about trusting and caring friendships and anxiety without being overwhelmingly serious.

Full review below the cut!

To talk about the characters, since they're what I find to be most important, I want to make it clear that I loved Sam Abernathy from the start. He is so adorable. His contribution to Ryan Dean's maturity journey is significant and so very important. It was a bit spot on that Sam's situation was the exact same as Ryan Dean's, but it was significant.

Another huge friendship to this plot is with Nico Cosentino. I appreciated Nico's honesty, but there was no way they were going to connect so well and not walk away friends. We can't talk about Nico without talking about Joey, and I'll be honest, I don't know how I feel about Joey being in love with Ryan Dean. It almost furthers a narrative that gay men are in love with their friends (similar to why we hate JP Tureau). Joey had no other good friends, so why couldn't he have this one close friend? I almost want to reread some scenes from the first book because it feels like this could have been added to spice up the plot. I don't remember questioning if Joey was more than a good big brother to Ryan Dean. It wasn't a terrible addition, by any means, but I wasn't blown away by it because I could tell that's where it was headed. And a quick side note; I find it a bit weird that so many people are in love with this kid three or four years younger than them.

I loved Spotted John's entrance into the narrative. He's my bi king, I'll say it. I enjoy the way he actually made Ryan Dean confront ideas about sexuality that he's had. The lack of homophobic jokes was very necessary to my enjoyment of this second book as it was one of the main reasons that I almost didn't continue the duology. But maybe he shouldn't be showing 12-year-olds his birthmark.

A huge part of the plot is Annie and Ryan Dean's relationship. It flourishes even more than past the supportive nature. Just like Ryan Dean, this relationship matured physically and mentally. I will say, I did not love Annie getting mad at Ryan Dean for not wanting to talk about his mental health after they just had (non-penatrative) sex by a creek. Given that she's the daughter of a psychologist, I find it odd that she would give him the cold shoulder for not wanting to do anything about his depression when he's depressed. Luckily, it didn't last long but it's important to mention that it wasn't the healthiest route.

Lastly, I want to say quickly that I love Seanie. His sarcastic and weird nature is so fun to me. I was a bit distraught at his new found relationship (although I'm happy that he's happy) because... I want him to be mine ): I didn't appreciate him enough in high school when I first read Winger.

One thing that I disliked from the first book that continued in this one is the repetitive, supposedly humorous, writing style. The jokes aren't funny enough to continue to call back to them as many times as they are. They very clearly create Ryan Dean as a character but they're so hard to read at times when I'm trying to focus on the plot.

Speaking of the plot, this book was way too long. The plot did not need to be stretched over as many pages as it is. We move very slowly through Ryan Dean's every day and sometimes down to the hour. It could have moved ten times faster and landed in the same spot, a place that I appreciate a lot. Granted, I'm glad that this wasn't climaxed by some terrible things happening, but the plot was very linear.

If you love mental health journeys centering young men, read this book! If you like stories about unlikely friendships, read this book! If you enjoy humor in spite of hard times, read this book!

[rachaelswrites]

Fatws: Rewrite

New World Order

Bucky Barnes x Daughter!reader, Sam Wilson x teen!reader

The sound of the TV playing was slowly starting to lull you to sleep. Despite not doing anything most days, you were still always tired. You and your dad were sitting on the small couch in the apartment, watching whatever trashy show was on that you found remotely interesting. 

“Is this what people watch nowadays? I don’t even get this,” Bucky huffed. 

You nodded and mumbled an, “I guess so.”

Bucky looked over at you with a frown, but smiled a bit seeing you starting to drift off. You were starting to lean onto his shoulder, “Go to sleep doll. It’s getting late,” he said. He knew you were tired when you didn’t return his earlier comment about the TV with a comment about his old age. 

“I'm not tired dad. One more episode,” you said sitting up straighter. 

“Yes you are. I can tell,” he argued back. 

“Fine,” you stood up from the couch to move to the small bed area on the floor but Bucky stopped you. 

“What are you doing?” he asked. 

“Going to bed. You can have the couch so you can still watch TV. I’m fine on the floor,” you explained. 

“No. You stay here,” he pulled you back to the couch and tossed a blanket to you, “I get the floor.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, “Well maybe I want the floor.”

“Well you don’t get the floor. I’m your dad so I get to decide,” he stood up and kissed the top of your head before you could protest even more, “Don’t even think about trying to argue with me,” he grabbed his own blanket and laid down on the floor mat, “Cause it won’t work.”

You propped yourself up on your elbows and peered over the edge of the couch, “You sure about that?”

“Wanna give it a go?” he asked. 

You just smirked and laid back down, pulling the blanket over your head. Bucky sighed, wishing you hadn’t inherited his sarcastic nature and rolled onto his side so he could still watch the TV and keep an eye on you. Despite there being no threat of violence for months, he still kept his protective ways. Soon enough, the sounds from the TV made him fall asleep shortly after you did. 

~~~~~

A few hours after you two fell asleep, a sudden noise made you open your eyes. You had been trained to not make sudden moves if there was an intruder. You knew it would be better to pretend to be asleep than show you were awake and not a threat.

You slowly opened your eyes, hoping to sneak a peak of whatever was happening around you. Through your half open eyes, you saw your dad sitting up and breathing heavily. You knew the signs all too well, a nightmare. You watched as Bucky glanced over to you and you quickly shut your eyes again. You knew he would feel bad if he saw you were woken up by his nightmare. Bucky looked at you shifting in your sleep and was grateful he didn’t wake you. Most nights you at least would sit up and ask him if he was okay. He hated you worrying over him and waking up because of him. He should be the one comforting you about nightmares, not the other way around. 

The two of you would consider you lucky. While under HYDRA, you were used as a spy. You weren’t around death as much as Bucky was and since you were younger and still impressionable, you weren’t tortured nearly as much as he was. Your nightmares were rare now, only happening once every few weeks but the last one was about a year ago. It was worse right after the Blip but Steve was there to help you through them. He taught you how to cope with everything. You remembered how he helped you and used those strategies for yourself. You had them under control.

~~~~~

The next morning Bucky was grouchy. It was the day of his court mandated therapy and he hated it. You had to go through it also, more on a voluntary basis than him, but you enjoyed your sessions much more. On top of his sarcasm, you also inherited your dad’s stubbornness. It wasn’t as bad as his, but it did cause some problems with your therapist. 

~~~~~

You walked into Dr. Kingston’s office and sat down on the couch. He smiled at you and pulled out his notes from the last session. You liked Dr. Kingston. He didn’t push too much from you and after a few sessions, he learned how to tell when you had too much. This was one of the only opportunities you had to talk about everything. You didn’t bring it up around your dad and you had no one else to talk to. You didn’t have friends and you didn’t go to school. You didn’t mind having just your dad and your therapist though. 

“How are you doing Y/n?” he asked. 

“I’m okay,” you responded. 

“Just okay? Did something happen since last week?”

“Not really,” you said, “Dad had a nightmare last night but it didn’t really bug me.”

“But it woke you up? Does he know you know?”

You bit your lip and didn’t answer. You didn’t want him to know because he would tell Bucky’s therapist and she would tell Bucky. 

“Y/n,” he said again, in a more serious tone, “You know I don’t tell anyone what happens here. How many times have I told you that?”

“Almost every single week,” you mumbled, “But I’ve read that if the patient is a minor, parents can have access to their medical information, including therapy stuff. If I tell you, you write it down and my dad can look at it and he’ll know. I don’t want him to know.”

“Okay two things,” he said, “First, where did you hear that from?”

“I read it online,” you said. 

“Where online? Cause there is more to it than that. I wasn’t even sure you knew what the internet was.”

“I do know what the internet is thank you very much and I don’t know where it was. Just some website,” you shrugged. 

“For an ex-HYDRA soldier, you really don’t pay attention to close details.” 

“HYDRA spy actually,” you corrected, “I was a spy not a soldier. I only had basic self-defense training, not the fancy stuff everyone else did.”

“Right,” he said, writing something down, “Spy. Not soldier.”

“You should really know that. I’ve been seeing you for months and you got that wrong. Good job doc,” you said sarcastically. 

“Point aside. My second thing is, why don’t you want him to know? You two are close, considering everything. Why don’t you want him to know you know about his nightmares?”

You shrugged again, “I don’t want him to feel bad. He’s done so much for me and sacrificed a whole lot. You know,” you leaned a little closer to Dr. Kingston, “If he still wants to have me in his life, he has to do this. I know he hates this but he does it for me. I feel bad.”

“Why?”

You groaned, “I don’t know. That’s your job to figure out my feelings for me.”

“My job is to help you through everything that has happened to you. I can’t do my job if you don’t do yours,” Dr. Kingston explained. 

“What’s my job then?”

“Tell me what you want. I can’t help you if I don’t know what you want to do. All this time and you haven't once mentioned anything about a goal.”

You stayed silent for a while. Your stubbornness was setting in and you didn’t want to answer him. 

“Give me something Y/n,” he said, “Anything. It can be short-term or long-term. You remember those right?”

You did but you didn’t even nod your head. You ignored him. You checked the clock on the wall not so secretly and he followed your gaze. 

“You have thirty seconds to answer or I have to put you down for another session this week. I don’t think your dad would want to sit in this building for another hour more than he has to.”

“Fine,” you said harshly, “I want to be normal. I want to wake up tomorrow morning and be normal. Not an ex-HYDRA spy and not the daughter of the Winter Soldier. Normal.”

“Well that’s impossible,” Dr. Kingston said. 

You threw your hands up in frustration, “What the hell? You asked for my goal and I told you. Now you’re saying it’s impossible. That’s not right,” you went to stand up but he held his hand up. 

“Sit down Y/n. Let me explain,” he waited for you to sit down before he explained, “You will never be normal and you need to start accepting that. You will never be like those girls at the school I know you’re registered for, but you’re not going to. You have a past that will follow you forever. I can help you find a new normal but you won’t be “normal,” normal. You understand?”

You nodded. 

“And, even if you could be normal, change doesn’t happen overnight.”

“Yes it does,” you argued, “My whole life, change has happened overnight.”

“Give me some examples then,” he said, He had his pen and paper at the ready. 

“Okay, Let’s see. In nineteen forty-two, my dad joined the army and one night he was here, the next he was gone. Then, he was alive one day and dead the next. Then, a few years later, he was alive again, and then dead. Then I got taken and I was turned into a monster. And every single time I woke up from cryo, the world was different. It would be twenty years later but for me, it was a single night’s sleep. For eighty freaking years, I went to cryo in one decade and woke up two later. For me, change happens overnight,” you ranted. 

“You know you’re not a monster right? You did what you had to and what you were forced to do. No one thinks you’re a monster, Y/n.”

“That’s not the point. The point is, I’m not used to change taking so long and it’s driving me crazy. Each time we meet and I’m not my normal, I go crazy. I’m not used to this,” you said. 

“I know that. And I know that it will take time for you to re-adjust to more slower changes. Change does take time and you will come out of it better.”

“How do you know that? Last time I changed, I was, you know.”

“I know you Y/n. I have faith that if you just listen to what I say and hold in there, you’ll be fine.”

You glanced at the clock and saw your time was up now, “Great chat doc. I’ll definitely give that whole “normal” thing a try,” you said as you rolled your eyes. You stood from the couch and stormed out of the room. You wiped the tears that were brimming in your eyes and before you reached your dad in the waiting room, cleared all signs of anger from your body. 

~~~~~

It was a habit that both you and Bucky enjoyed. You two took time out of your day to walk the streets of the city. The last time the two of you were there at the same time, it was the forties and you were only five. The world was much different to you back then and it was different to Bucky also. New technology and new buildings overwhelmed him the first time he was back. During the Blip, you had gotten used to the more modern and urban setting but you experienced the world differently than you did when you were younger. When the Blip happened, you were ten and now you were fifteen. You had five years to learn and explore whereas Bucky didn’t. He relied upon you for help sometimes. 

“They did what?” Bucky exclaimed, “And they were just allowed to?”

“Yup!” you said absentmindedly. You were looking up at the clouds that littered the sky and didn’t notice the person you almost ran into. Bucky had to pull you by the arm to get you out of the way. 

“You need to pay more attention, doll,” he teased. 

“And you need to-” you were cut off by Bucky’s hand in front of your face, telling you to be quiet. He heard a small argument in an alley nearby and walked over to it, you following behind. 

It was Yori and some other person. You followed Bucky into the alley as he stepped between the two men, “Hey, Hey. What’s going on, Yori? I thought we were getting lunch.”

“Unique is putting his trash in my can,” Yori said. 

“Trash is trash,” the other man, who you assumed was Unique, said. 

Yori raised his hand, “And now it’s time for me to smack-” he was cut off by Bucky, who grabbed his hand and pulled it down. Unique stepped back and out of the way and into you. 

“Watch it,” you mumbled under your breath. Bucky shot you a “be nice” look before taking Yori a few feet away, leaving you alone with Unique. 

He stuck his hand out for you to shake but you ignored it, “I’m Unique by the way. Kinda like Monique but with a U. To be unique you know.”

“I don’t care,” you said. You ignored him until Bucky came back with a much calmer Yori. Bucky walked alongside Yori and made sure you were following before heading towards the Izzy’s for lunch. 

~~~~~

You, your dad and Yori sat at the bar table in the restaurant, eating what you had ordered for lunch. You were minding your own business, letting the two adults talk about whatever they wanted until a particular phrase caught your attention. 

“You should ask her out,” Yori said to your dad. 

Bucky’s eyes went wide and he shook his head, “Mmm mnn. No.”

“C’mon. It’ll be fun,” you said. 

“Stay out of this Y/n. You’re too young to have an opinion about dating,” he said back. 

“Eighty is too young? Really?” you said. Bucky playfully smacked your arm. Before he could respond, Yori got the attention of the waitress. 

“Excuse me. He would like to take you out on a date. Maybe bingo or pinochle.”

You tried your best to suppress your giggles, ignoring the evil glare your dad was giving you. 

“I’m really sorry about him,” he said, motioning to the man next to you. In your efforts to suppress your laughter, you choked on your drink and spilled it on the counter, “And her,” he motioned towards you next. 

“Why are you sorry?” she asked, handing you a rag to clean your mess up, “I’m game.”

“Really?” you asked in shock. 

“Wow,” Bucky said. 

“Tonight then?” Yori asked. 

“Tonight is great,” she said, “Although maybe not pinochle.”

“Why? What’s wrong with pinochle?” Buck asked sarcastically. 

“What even is pinochle?” you asked. 

“Another time doll,” Bucky whispered to you. 

“I have a shift,” the waitress said, “But if you want to come back here I should be done around ten.” she walked away, leaving the three of you alone again. 

Bucky smiled at her awkwardly before looking at you two, “I can’t believe you did that.”

“Hey! I didn’t do anything dad. It was all him,” you said pointing at Yori. 

“There’s a dance to these things. You gotta warm up. I haven't danced since nineteen forty-three. At least it feels like that,” your dad said. 

Yori didn’t respond and was instead spacing out. Your dad took a sip of his drink before you nudged him and motioned in his direction. He was looking at the food on a plate nearby. 

“Yori, what’s wrong?” you asked him. 

He started speaking in Japanese. It wasn't your strongest language but from some words and his body language, you could tell he was talking about his son. It was a very sore topic for him and you and your dad knew why. He was killed and no one knew why or by who. Except you and Bucky. 

When Bucky first met Yori, you were asking him all these questions about why him and why not someone closer to his own age. He told you what happened and his plans to make amends to everyone whose lives he ruined as the Winter Soldier. 

You watched as the more Yori spoke, the more your dad’s face fell. His smile turned into a frown and his eyes grew softer. You knew it hurt him hearing how his actions as Winter Soldier affected other people. 

Yori didn’t know you both knew about his son so he explained that he was working abroad and was killed. Bucky stared straight ahead while you watched him. You grabbed his hand from under the table and held it. Even though it was the metal one, he could still sense your presence. He squeezed your hand lightly, not wanting to hurt you but wanting you to know he appreciates what you’re doing. 

~~~~~

After lunch, you parted ways with Yori and headed back to the apartment while he was off to run errands. Bucky was walking by your side, his arm slung around your shoulder. It was busier than it was before and he didn’t want to lose you in the crowds of people. 

“Are you okay?” you asked him, looking up to face him. 

He was staring straight ahead, helping to maneuver you through the people, “I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Because of what happened?”

“Because I’m going on a date? No I’m fine with that,” he responded. 

“You know what I mean, dad. That whole situation,” you said, emphasizing the word “that.” 

Bucky stopped and pulled you over to the side, near the wall of a building. He crouched down in front of you and moved some of the loose strands of hair from your face, “Y/n, I know you are such a sweet kid but I don’t need you to worry over me. I’m fine. Let me worry over you,” he said. 

“But I can’t help it. I’ve spent my whole life worrying about you, Dad. Dr. Kingston says that change takes time so if you want me to stop, you have to give me time,” you said with a smug look on your face, “Cause I can totally do that if you want me to. You’re always telling me to listen to what he says.”

“Are you using your therapist's words in an argument against me?” he asked. 

“Maybe,” you said, “I just want to make sure you’re okay. Cause if you’re not, they might take me away from you. They like rubbing that in our faces, you know.”

“I know that and I won’t let that happen Y/n. I promise,” he said, taking your shoulders in his hands, “If I’m not okay, I will tell you and you can find some way to cheer me up then. How about that?”

“Deal,” you shook him off of you and grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the apartment, “You have a date I have to get you ready for. 

~~~~~

“I think she’s going to like it,” you said as Bucky walked into the living room with flowers. He wasn’t sure if she would like them or not. 

“You think so? Not too old fashioned?” he asked. 

“I mean, if a boy gave me flowers on the first date, I’d propose to him right then and there.” you said. 

“Hey, remember what I said earlier? You’re too young,” he set the flowers down and started to put on his coat. It was almost ten and it was quicker if he were to walk over there rather than the subway. 

“Right sorry,” you stood up from the couch and walked over to him, “But if it were to come up, is it up for debate?”

“Maybe,” he kissed the top of your head as he pulled you into a hug. He headed for the door, opening in it and stepping into the hallway, “Actually no. Not up for debate,” he closed the door before you could respond. 

You huffed and turned to go back to the couch. You put on some random show to pass the time until he came home. You had fully intended to hear all about it when he came home. 

~~~~~

You were expecting him to be gone for at least three hours but he came home in about half that time. He seemed visibly shaken and that was scary for you. He hardly ever showed when he was shaken. You stood up and took a step towards him, ‘Dad?” you asked. 

“What?” he asked. It came out a bit too harsh and he realized it, “Sorry,” he muttered. 

“Was it that bad?”

Bucky ran his hand down his face and sighed, “No. The date itself wasn’t bad,” he walked over to the couch and sat, motioning for you to follow. You sat down next to him and leaned your head on his shoulder, “Yori and his son came up.”

“Oh,” you sat back up and looked at him, “I understand. You don’t have to tell me anything else if you don’t want to,” you reached over and hugged him, burying your face in his neck. He wrapped his arms around you and hugged you back. 

“Thank you doll,” he kissed the top of your head and patted your back, “I love you so much. I’m so glad you’re here with me.”

“I'm glad you’re here with me too dad. I love you.” You pulled away, but curled into his side and turned to the TV “Did she like the flowers?” you asked.  

Bucky shifted his focus from the TV to you, “She thought they were old fashioned. But she liked them,” he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. 

“Told you she would,” you rested your head on his shoulder and his head was resting on the top of yours. The two of you fell asleep like that within minutes.

Taglist

@sbsbrr14 @bonkybarnes107 @sapphireplums​ @xbuckyspetx

[mypoisonedvine]

The Perfect Fit | Bucky Barnes x reader (part 2)

(part 1)

summary: after getting fitted by you, bucky’s going to try on the custom-made suits he’s bought.  unless he makes his move now, he may not get to see you again, and he can’t let that happen.

word count: 6.5k

warnings: smut!!, fingering, oral (m and f receiving), a little d/s energy, mirror kink, stomach bulge kink, slight pain kink?, creampie kink, pussy spanking, light bondage, bucky being jealous

Bucky had a bone to pick with Tony, which was usually true but this wasn’t work-related for once.  It wasn’t hard to find him in the same place he’d seen him last— eating his lunch in the kitchen, with Sam nearby chowing down on lo mein with a spring roll.

“Hey lefty, what’s cracking?” Tony greeted, mouth full but talking loudly anyways.  

"I went down to that tailor you recommended—" Bucky began, but Tony was quick to interrupt.

"You went there?  Dude, it's a really nice place, you can just call and she'll come to you instead, way more convenient."

"So now you say 'she'?"

Realization dawned on Tony’s expression.  "Ahh, I get it.  You're not used to a female tailor.  Adds a little spice to getting fitted, huh?" he grinned, elbowing Bucky playfully.

Bucky’s throat felt a little dry when he heard that.  "Don't tell me that's why you use her…"

"Hey now, I'm not a creep, I use her cause she's the best, and those house calls are great for discretion— you know, being a celebrity and all.  The eye candy part is just gravy."

"Gravy candy sounds disgusting," Sam chimed in, missing the point entirely.

"Yeah, well, she mentioned some stuff that sure made you sound like a creep."

"Okay, well, you can't blame me for getting caught staring when I'm surrounded by fucking mirrors.  Makes it hard to be stealthy."

"You could try not staring,” Bucky suggested flatly.

"Is that what you did?"

Tony smirked when Bucky failed to reply immediately.  "Okay, so it's easier said than done,” Bucky admitted with a frown, “but still, I hope these house calls were strictly professional."

“What’s it to you, man?  I think somebody’s jealous,” Tony purred.  

“What?  No, it’s not that,” Bucky denied.

“You love her,” Tony sing-songed, completely ignoring Bucky.  “You looooooove her!”

"You are so immature," Bucky rolled his eyes, even though his heart was racing and he was pretty sure he was blushing.  

"No, it's good for you!  She's a catch, you're all brooding and stuff— maybe she can melt the Winter Soldier's frozen heart, hm?"

Sam laughed heartily.  "Stark, you read too many comic books."

"You're saying you don't wanna see Icy Hot here shoot his shot with my tailor?" Tony asked, turning his attention towards Sam.

Sam pondered that, much to Bucky's dismay.  "Depends.  How hot is she?"

"Mega," Tony smirked confidently.  "Legs for miles, and she wears these skirts that make her ass look—"

"I think I've heard enough," Bucky groaned.  "I'm leaving.  And don't ask when I'm going to see her again," he instructed, interrupting Tony just as he'd opened his mouth to speak, "because I won’t tell you.”

As Bucky left, he could hear Tony calling out into the hall: “But I’d be such a great wingman!”

//

Truth be told, Bucky had put off mastering the use of his smartphone.  It wasn’t just that new technology made him feel old, but that he knew nobody would be calling or messaging him anyways; if the phone didn’t work, he would spare himself the embarrassment of waiting up for nothing.

But once he knew you were going to call?  Suddenly, he was motivated to figure the sucker out.

A few hours later and now all he had to do was stare at it to make sure he wouldn’t miss you.  Luckily, you didn’t make him wait too long.  He recognized the number and decided to let it ring a few times before picking up, so it would seem like he had other things to do besides talk to you.

“Hello?” Bucky asked when he answered, so it would seem like he had other people calling him besides you.

You introduced yourself so formally that he was a little afraid that all that fun energy between you two would be gone.  Thankfully, once he asked what you were calling about, you were back to being cheery and casual again.

“I was just calling to schedule when I could come by with your new suits!” you explained, sounding chipper.

His fingertips were a little tingly just from hearing you talk, nervousness making him antsy (in a weirdly good way).  “I know you said it’s a one-person operation,” he responded smarmily, “but I figured you would outsource delivery.”

You scoffed, though it sounded more amused than irritated.  “It’s not just delivery, I have to check the fit and make sure everything’s exactly to your liking.”

“Oh, well, I’m free all day tomorrow— and I think you already know my address.”  Was it too forward?  Too obvious?  And why did Bucky spend half the time when he was talking to you second-guessing himself?

“Yes, Stark Tower is a relatively common destination for me.  If he doesn’t mind us using it, Tony has a dressing room with plenty of mirrors so you can get a good look.  But, I’d be happy to just go up to your quarters if that’s easier.”

He was not at all ready for you to see his room.  No way he could clean it enough in the next twelve hours; and even then, lots of the team had made fun of how empty and plain it was, so he knew it would just make you think he was boring.

“I’m sure Tony won’t mind you using his dressing room, but he might mind me using it,” Bucky chuckled.

“Well, if he makes a fuss I’ll be sure to set him straight,” you decided confidently.  Somehow, imagining you cursing out Tony was almost hotter than imagining you doing anything else.  “Be sure to bring down your dress shoes so you get the full look and everything.”

“Uhhh…” he trailed off as he scratched the back of his head, trying to remember if he owned anything other than combat boots.  “Not sure I still have those, to be honest.”

"Okay, you'll need shoes too,” you noted aloud, your voice a little distant; he figured you were writing things down, which was why you sounded distracted.  “What size are you?"

"Thirteen."

"I'll bring a selection tomorrow,” you announced firmly.  “And socks, of course.  And some watches, maybe?  And pocket squares."

"Is that it?" he asked sarcastically.

“Oh right, I’m bringing the ties you picked out, too.  I’ll throw in some alternates in case your original choices don’t match the way you were hoping.”

“You really are full-service,” he chuckled.

“I get that a lot,” you replied, a hint of coyness to your tone.

There it was again; that jealousy.  He hated it because he knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t stop it either.  As much as his mind was completely aware that you were an independent, modern woman capable of handling herself, his heart was equally determined to protect you, and spoil you, and do whatever was necessary to make sure you were safe.  

Worse, his gut was less innocent.  Mine, it demanded, all mine.  Nobody else’s.

He pushed it down and just tried to get through the rest of the call without saying something he’d regret.  You confirmed the date and time with him, and he tried not to be too aggressive when he said he was looking forward to it.  

He hung up his phone and sighed, staring off into space.  Now all that was left to do was wait, and be overwhelmed with anxiety.  Thankfully, he was good at the second thing.

//

"So, what do you think?" 

I think you look so damn good from every angle.  I think I might spend all my money on suits just to be sure I can see you again.  I think you need somebody to love you the way you deserve.  I think you’d look like an angel waking up in my bed.  

You waved your hand in front of his face for a moment, calling his attention back to reality.  “Helloooo?”

Drawn out of his trance, Bucky finally looked in the menagerie of mirrors surrounding him and admired his reflection, amazed by the perfect fit of his first suit.  The difference in quality between this and something off the rack was beyond apparent.  Most of all, your talent was undeniable.  "I think it's beautiful."

You smiled proudly.  "Of course it is, but do you like how you look in it?"

"Honestly?  I feel a bit… out of place.  I'm obviously not classy enough for a suit like this."

"Oh, nonsense," you dismissed.  

He frowned, convinced this was all flattery.  "No, seriously, this is… maybe I should just wear tactical gear to every event."

"Well, you'd still look good, but you're not always a soldier.  Sometimes you're only a man.  And every man should own a fine suit."

It was much too profound of a thing to say while you casually straightened his jacket, only to pop out from behind his reflection to smile at him in the mirror.

“Let’s get the next one on you,” you decided, helping him lose the jacket but having him move into a private dressing room to switch trousers and shirts.  “I put a turtleneck in there instead of just a regular button-up,” you explained through the door as he changed, “in case you wanted to see it that way.”

Once he’d put it on, he stepped back out and you were looking at him so proudly— well, you were looking at your handiwork with pride, really, but he could pretend it was for him and hope actually impress you that much one day.

“I went with a shawl lapel on this one, as opposed to the last one which was notched,” you explained as you traced the line with your finger.  “Spoiler: the next one has a peak lapel.  But enough about that one: what do you think of this one?”

“This looks like something my friend Sam would wear,” Bucky decided as he looked at himself in the cranberry suit and black turtleneck.  The shoes you’d had him try on with this were intricate as well, with subtle stitching in the leather and a shine so immaculate he could almost see a reflection in them.  

“Well, is your friend Sam stylish?” you asked.  

“He would certainly say so,” he smirked.

“I’m inclined to agree, because you—” you gave him a thorough glance up and down, so thorough in fact that he felt a bit exposed under your gaze, “—look marvelous.”

“Not pretentious?” 

“No, no, it works on you,” you assured, “you’ve got the looks for it.”

“And what looks are those?”

“Um… good?  Good looks?” 

He definitely remembered a time when that seemed like the obvious answer, because he had relied on being good-looking for a lot of things in life, but that felt very far away now.  Maybe it was just that people who didn’t know what he’d done could still think he was good looking, but everyone else saw the evil within beginning to leak out the way that he did.  

But you knew what he’d done, didn’t you?  You had to.  You knew Tony, you were here at the Tower… unless you were intentionally not up-to-date on current events, you must have heard of the Winter Soldier.

“Don’t act so surprised,” you huffed, “as if it’s a big secret or something.  You’re obviously very attractive.”

Bucky cleared his throat nervously.  “Uh, thanks.”  He wanted to return the compliment, but thought it might be inappropriate or rude somehow.  You broke the silence quickly as you held up two pocket squares in front of him.

“Which of these do you prefer?” you prompted.  He selected the solid gold one, making you smile.  “I knew you’d pick that one.”

“How?”

“I dunno, just fits you,” you shrugged as you folded it and gently placed it in his pocket.  Even through so many layers, your touch on his chest made his heart flutter.  Your fingers brushing over his as you slipped a watch onto his wrist was enough to cause palpitations.

He looked better in this ensemble than he expected.  This version of himself looked much more likely to be invited to parties than any other version.  If only he actually wanted to go to parties.

You put him in the pinstripe suit last, after putting a few pins in the cranberry suit to indicate minor changes you would make later, and stepped back to ponder your work.

"Hm, unbutton those top two buttons for me?" you requested with a raised eyebrow.

I will if you do, he thought to himself, but silently unbuttoned his own shirt anyway.

"I mean, it definitely works like this, but I wanna see you in a tie.  And I've got juuuuust the one," you smiled.  Soon you were approaching him with a red paisley tie, and helping him button up his shirt and tying the tie for him— you explained something about how it was a unique knot he likely couldn't do himself, but he was too lost in having you so close to notice.  It would be so easy to just reach up and grab your waist, pull you into a kiss, finally tell you how bad he wants you.

Well, it would be physically easy, but it would be very scary.  Just imagining it had his heart racing.

“I heard from Tony this morning,” you informed him suddenly, slipping the tie around his neck and popping his collar up for him.

“Really?  Is he in need of a wardrobe update?”

“Yes, but he hasn’t realized that yet so that wasn’t what he called about.”

He laughed a little at the jab, though it also made him a little worried what secret opinions you held about his own style (or lack thereof).

“We talked about you, actually,” you added.

“O-oh,” Bucky stammered, “uh, he’s not exactly my biggest fan.  So whatever he said probably isn’t true.”

“He said that you have a crush on me,” you replied nonchalantly, not even looking up from your work on his tie.

Bucky gulped, and he knew you saw the bob of his Adam’s apple because you were staring right at his neck.

“Like I said, Tony isn’t a very reliable source,” Bucky replied, but his voice cracked in the middle and he cringed internally.

“I’ll write it off as another one of Tony’s off-color jokes then,” you dismissed, perfecting the knot of his tie and stepping back to observe him.  He always felt nervous when you looked at him like that, like he couldn’t hide anything from you.

“What… what did you say, when he told you that?” Bucky asked nervously.

“I asked him what he was smoking and if I could have some,” you laughed.  “I thought it was totally impossible— and don’t worry, I didn’t tell him that you got hard when I did your inseam.”

Bucky’s throat became dry at the same moment that his palms got clammy.

“I— um, I was just—”

“Oh, it’s fine,” you dismissed quickly, still talking about this all so casually which only made him even more confused, “you’re not the first, it happens.”

“I’m not the first?!” 

“Yeah, if anything you were one of the few who didn’t say something creepy about it, which is always appreciated.  It’s just a bodily reaction, you can’t control it.”

“Did Tony ever say something creepy?” Bucky pressed, his hands involuntarily tightening into fists— another bodily reaction he couldn’t control.

“You know, Tony said you were really worried that he had been inappropriate with me, or even that he and I had a fling or something,” you added as you stepped back, giving him a quizzical look, “and now it’s sort of sounding like he was right.”

“No, no, it’s not that, I just—”

“Was he right about anything else?” you pressed, raising an eyebrow.

“I was being nosy, I’m sorry,” he sighed, “it’s just that… and I know it’s none of my business, but the idea of him and you… it isn’t a pleasant mental image.”

You laughed a little, in a way that made him feel kind of small.  “Why not?  You know how he is.  Definitely has a wandering eye… and occasionally a wandering hand.”

Bucky winced.  “I swear, if he ever put his hands on you, I’ll go find him right now and beat him senseless.”

“What if I wanted him to?”

He nearly saw red, but he knew he had no right to be angry.  You were a grown adult and he had no ownership over you… he just sort of wished that he did.

“So it’s true then?  You and him…?”

“No, Bucky,” you laughed, “it’s not.  Nothing’s ever happened between us.  I generally don’t get involved with clients like that.”

“Generally?  Is there an exception?”

You chewed your lip, seemingly a little thrown off by his question.  “Uh, I mean, no— I’ve never been involved with a client, no, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Why would you say ‘generally’ then?”

“Uh, I guess I just… I wouldn’t want to rule anything out, that’s all.  Never say never.”

And for a moment he almost wondered if you were flirting with him.  Certainly not, with him having come across as both a jealous hot-head and a bumbling dweeb who pops a boner faster than a randy teenager, but just for a second the way you looked at him was… questionable.

“I mean, who knows,” you continued, “what if, hypothetically, some gorgeous guy walked into my store one night— a sensitive guy, who made me laugh and put up with me rambling about ties for the better part of an hour— and I was supposed to dress him up when all I wanted to do was undress him?”

Your finger started to trail down his chest lightly, tickling his skin through the dress shirt. 

“I wouldn’t want to think he was off-limits just because he’s a customer… right?” you asked quietly, looking up at him and biting your lip.

He was afraid to make the wrong move, but he really really hoped this was flirting.

“I don’t think anyone would object to being dressed or undressed by you,” Bucky responded, hoping he could stay neutral until he was sure what you were talking about.

You chewed your lip, looking away as if you were thinking about something. 

"I know I certainly haven't.  And wouldn't," he added, feeling the need to say something.

You nodded, placing his tie inside his jacket and seeming happy with your work.

“You know, the fit looks great," you announced, "but I’m a little worried that one of the measurements was wrong.  Mind if I do your inseam again?”

His throat was dry all of a sudden, but he responded quickly anyways.  "Uh, go ahead…"

You looked up at him as you started to sink to your knees, very slowly.  That little move looked real good in the mirror behind you.  “Last time I did this, there was something getting in the way, made it difficult to know if I was doing it right…”

"M-my apologies," he whispered.

"Oh no, I'm not complaining," you purred as you slowly began to run your fingers up the side of his leg, keeping searing eye contact until his knees felt a little weak.

When your hand reached the top of his inner thigh, the back of it brushed against his balls and he shivered.  Delicately, and so excruciatingly slowly, your hand moved higher and gently rubbed his erection through the fabric.  

“Fuck,” he whispered under his breath.

It must have been all the anticipation that made it so intense, made shivers run up his spine every time your hand moved over his length, made his toes curl inside the ridiculously fancy shoes you’d put him in.

“I’m gonna take it out now, okay?  I promise I won’t measure you here,” you winked.

"You can if you want," he shrugged, deciding now was the time for feigned confidence if there ever was one.  “I mean, if you’re worried about fit…”

You bit your lip, and he was proud to see the effect his words had on you.  “I’ll be honest, I am a little worried it won’t fit…”  You were quick with his belt, but slow with his button and fly, apparently having more fun teasing him.  “Fuck, Bucky,” you groaned softly as you took his cock out.

“Don’t look so excited, doll, you’ll give me an ego,” he purred.

“Can’t help it,” you sighed, “looks delicious.”

You licked a long wet stripe up from the bottom all the way to the tip, making a show of licking up the bead of pre-cum before taking his head into your mouth, and Bucky blinked a few times to be sure that this was actually happening.

"Been wanting to do that since I first saw you," you admitted, grinning as you stroked him right beside your face, which only helped to illustrate how big he was compared to you.

"Dirty girl," he praised with a smirk.  

Flirting, he wasn’t so good at.  Conversation in any form typically stressed him out.  But this?  This he was still pretty good at.  And he’d never wanted it so bad before.

When you took him in your mouth again, you didn’t stop until you started to gag; he couldn’t stop himself from moaning through his teeth when you did it.

"Look up at me, princess," he instructed softly, grinning when you obeyed quickly.  "Now look over there at that mirror.  Look how good you look on your knees for me, choking on my cock."

You moaned around him when you made eye contact with your own reflection, and it felt so fucking good he almost lost it right then and there. He held your jaw, almost too tightly, and guided you as your head bobbed on his length.  Your mouth was so warm he thought he would burn up— and it only got warmer the deeper he managed to get.  God, he was so ready to pump his load right into your throat, but he wanted to do so much more to you first.  

In one quick motion, he pushed you off of his cock, pulled you up to face him, and flipped you around, holding you to his chest with the metal arm and letting the flesh one start rubbing your thigh.  This way, both of you were looking at the mirror in front of you, and he loved watching you gasp and moan as you felt and watched his fingers move higher and higher.

“I think it’s time to find out if you really are ‘full-service’,” he purred right against your ear, making searing eye contact with you in the reflection.  “You’ve seen so much of me, but I haven’t seen nearly enough of you yet.  Been daydreaming about what you could be hiding under these tight little skirts.”

As he pulled up the plaid-patterned fabric, he saw that you were wearing white, lacy panties and he groaned deeply.  

“What are you wearing these for?” he teased, rubbing along the edge but never getting where you wanted— and he knew you were getting desperate, because your hips were starting to buck up into his hand.  “Were you expecting something would happen today, sweetheart?”

“I— I was hopeful,” you stammered; instantly, he slapped you right on your barely-covered pussy, just hard enough to make you yelp and squirm in his grasp.  

“You’re so shameless,” he chuckled darkly, “and I love it.  I just hope this isn’t your usual routine— acting all innocent and batting your eyes so your clients will fuck you.”

“No, I swear, it’s just you, Bucky,” you whimpered, “there’s nobody else, please…”

“Please what?  Tell me what you want.”

“I want you to… to touch me more,” you whispered, as if it was a secret and not patently obvious.

He slipped two fingers underneath the thin fabric, finding your clit right away (not difficult at all with how swollen it was) and rubbing it in gentle circles.

“Oh god,” you sighed, “Bucky��”

WIth his hand on your hips, it wasn’t hard at all to push you back into him so he could rub his aching cock against you.  

"What material is this skirt made of?" 

"It's a silk blend," you answered breathlessly, "about 30% cotton."

"It's soft," he purred before yanking your skirt up higher and pressing his cock against your ass instead, "but not as soft as you."

Next to go was your blouse, which he tore open to the sound of buttons flying every direction and bouncing off of the mirrors and floors.

"Bucky!" you yelped, but he could see your nipples harden through the lacy white bra.  If there was any doubt that you had intended to seduce him today, the matching undergarments dispelled it.

After teasing your nipples between his fingers for a moment, he reached back down between your legs— and when his fingers slipped through your folds and moved down to your opening, he actually moaned just from how wet you are.

"Fucking hell," he growled, "you are drenched, princess.  You liked sucking me off that much?"

"Not just that," you clarified, "you look really good in my suits."

He gave you a toothy smile in the mirror, using it to nibble on your ear a bit.  "You deserve most of the credit for that," he purred.

"No, no, I don't," you whined, "you'd look sexy in a paper bag, honestly… you turn me on so much, Bucky."

“Did you… think about me?  After I left your shop the other night?” he asked playfully, already foreseeing your answer from the way your thighs clenched and your lips let out the subtlest gasp.

“Yes,” you whimpered.

“You’re smart enough to know I want you to be more specific than that,” he chuckled.

“I thought about you that night… after I got into bed…” you elaborated slowly, clearly distracted by the way he was moving his fingers: delicately, but with obvious intentionality.  “I thought about what it would’ve been like if you had grabbed me and kissed me, shoved me against the wall, fucked me right there on my desk… in front of the glass wall, where anyone could’ve walked by and seen you claim me…”

His cock was throbbing, and he wasn’t sure if it was from the image itself or from the knowledge that you’d been fantasizing about it.  “Were you touching yourself?” he growled.

“Yes,” you sighed, your thighs starting to visibly shake, your knees bending towards each other in the mirror.

“Show me how,” he demanded.  “Show me exactly how you were playing with your needy little pussy while you thought about me.”

Your hand found its place on top of his, your fingers starting to move his to the specific place, guiding his movements to be faster and rougher.

“Oh, I see,” he grinned, “you don’t like to tease yourself, do you?  You like to jump right into it, come as many times as you can and rub yourself raw in the process?”

You nodded feverishly, panting and whining and writhing in his grasp.

“You’re so desperate, honey… such a shameless cockwhore for me.”

“For you,” you repeated through your trance, “Bucky, ‘m close… keep touching me, please…”

He kept his thumb on your clit but gently slid one finger inside you, both of you gasping at the sensation (if for different reasons).

“So tight,” he hissed, already pulling it back out, “fuck, and just for one finger…”

“More, please,” you begged mindlessly.

“More?  Sure you can take it?”

You bit down on your lip as you nodded, and he pushed a second finger in beside his first.  He felt you struggling with it, both in your walls and in the way you winced a little, but you softly begged him to keep going so of course he couldn’t stop.  You adjusted quickly, your wetness starting to run down his hand.  

“Fuck me,” you whimpered, “now, please, can’t wait anymore.”

“Yes you can,” he encouraged, “and you will, cause I need to taste you first.”

Pulling his fingers out of you, he flipped you around again, finally kissing you the way he’d been dreaming of since he first saw you.  It was intense but not too dominating— in spite of everything.  It was a romantic sort of kiss, maybe too romantic for the situation (that being his cock out and hard and pressed against you, and his fingers covered in your arousal) but perfect nonetheless.

“That’s not what I thought you meant when you said you wanted to taste me,” you giggled when he pulled away.

“No, I meant it the other way,” he smiled, “I just wanted to do that first.”  

He picked you up suddenly, making you gasp a bit, but knelt down to lay you on the floor pretty soon after.  You looked up at him with wide eyes as he lifted your leg and kissed his way up.  He could smell your need, and he worried it would drive him wild before he reached his destination.

Pulling your soaked panties aside, he realized he could probably come just from looking at you.  “Such a gorgeous pussy,” he growled his praise, leaning down to plant a few more teasing kisses over the inside of your thighs.  Finally, he started with one long lick, just like you had with him, but you weren’t so patient to tolerate it.  Nearly instantly your fingers pulled his hair, clearly trying to guide him to tease you less, but he couldn’t be swayed to go easy on you.

“I hope you’re not forgetting who’s in charge,” he smiled hungrily.

“And what if I am?” you returned, clearly looking to get on his nerves so he’d get rough with you.  He was happy to oblige.

Bucky sat up and loosened his tie, slipping it off of his neck with a smirk.  "Now, this is 100% Venetian silk, so it should feel nice around your wrists," he cooed.  You offered your hands willingly, and he got a chance to show off a few complex knots of his own.  "Now be a good girl and keep those hands above your head, alright?"

You did as he asked, freeing him to hold your legs open as he devoured you, alternating between teasing your bud with the tip of his tongue, and fucking you with it.  

"You taste like heaven, doll," he growled when he came up quickly, "and the way you moan when my tongue's inside you?  I swear I could die happy right now."

"I wish you wouldn't though," you whimpered.

He laughed a bit before he got back to it, letting his tongue focus on your clit while he filled you with his fingers again.  Your walls clenched down on him occasionally, and when it became more frequent just as your moans became louder, he knew you were close.

"Stop, stop," you sighed suddenly, pushing him away.

"Are you alright?" he asked, nervous he'd done something wrong.  

"No I'm fine, I just… I don't want to come yet.  I want you inside me first."

"And what about what I want, hm?  What if I want to watch you come just from my tongue?" he offered instead, though he was definitely still very persuadable in this regard.

"I know you wanna fuck me, Bucky, don't make me wait any longer,” you moaned, your back arching up a little from the floor.

Not needing to be told twice, he flipped you onto your elbows and knees, making sure you could support yourself with bound wrists before letting you go.  His hands running over your exposed ass and thighs made you shiver, and he smiled down at you.  At this point, he was probably more desperate than you were, but he was doing a much better job of hiding it, even taking the time to reach up and undo a few of the buttons of his shirt, because wow suits are warm and not meant for his level of physical activity.

Still, he figured he had waited long enough— he needed to fuck you while he still had at least a shred of patience left.  He was going to need it if he was going to give you time to adjust to him.

Holding his cock and rubbing it through your folds, he chuckled when you whined and dropped your head down in a pout.  He loved watching your expression shift into a gasp as he pushed in.

He went slow, but he didn't stop either.  He wanted to test you just a little.  He wanted to stretch you open.

"Fuck," you cried, "god, you're so… you feel so…"

"Look in the mirror," he instructed coldly, although the coldness was just a front for the way he was holding himself back as your body swallowed him so beautifully.

You moaned again, higher-pitched and weak, just as he finally got all the way in.  He waited until he felt your body relax a bit before he asked if it was okay for him to move yet.  You answered with a quick nod, a breathy "please," and he didn't need any more encouragement.

It was probably too fast to start off with, but god, he'd been waiting so long to fuck you like this.

"Baby," he whispered, "you're so perfect."

He held you steady and thrusted deep, so deep that it made you gasp each time.  You looked incredible, and you felt incredible, but the way you sounded was just… divine.  He could never have imagined the beautiful way you would sound when he was bringing you pleasure like this.  Having heard it, he wanted to make you sound like this as often as possible from now on.  Technically he couldn’t even be sure he’d get another chance to, but surely sounds this perfect meant you had to be having a good time, right?  Ideally a good enough time to call him again?

He was snapped back to focus when he saw your eyes flutter shut with pleasure.

"Don't look away from that mirror, honey," he growled, "don't close your eyes.  Look how pretty you look like this."

He could tell you loved it from the way your channel fluttered and flexed.

"You like watching yourself get fucked, princess?"

"Yes," you sobbed as he grabbed your hips harder, hoping to leave a bruise, "it feels so good, Bucky, please don't stop!"

"I won't stop, pretty girl.  Not until you cream on my cock," he grunted. 

"Fuck, I'm close," you whined, "Bucky, I'm gonna come— oh god right there!"

And he was sure it couldn’t be fake from the way your body tightened and released so many times, the way you quivered and your breathing seemed to stop for a moment.  Even though he could barely take it, he kept fucking you through it until you were shaking so violently that he worried about your health.

“You feel so goddamn good when you come, princess,” he moaned softly.  “Tryin’ to milk my cock for all it’s worth, aren’t you?”

You laughed a little, sounding exhausted, but as he kept fucking you he could feel how sensitive you had become.  When he reached down to push your skirt back up to your waist after it had started to fall down a bit, he felt his own movements in your gut and it took so much not to lose his cool in that moment.  Instead, he pulled your upper body into his so that you could see in the mirror the way your lower stomach was bulging a bit each time he pushed in all the way.

"F-fuck, Bucky," you whimpered.

"Anybody ever been that deep inside you before?"

"No, not even close," you moaned.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked gently, kissing up and down your neck slowly to match his lazy, teasing thrusts.

"A little," you admitted, "but it feels good.  Don't stop."

He wasn’t so brutal with his thrusts, still deep but with a patient, measured pace.  It staved off his orgasm a bit longer, and it made you moan all slow and throaty which was not better or worse than the needy, high-pitched moans, but enjoyably different.  You didn’t sound as desperate anymore (probably because you’d already come), instead seeming relaxed and calm— if still arching your back and biting your lip nonetheless.

"I wanna come inside you," he whispered right against your ear; he could feel the way you shivered as a result.

"Please," you whimpered.

"Is that what you want?  Wanna be full of my come?"

"Yes," you sobbed, "yes, please Bucky I need it so bad!"

"Fuck, gonna fill you up so good, doll," he promised gruffly.  "Want me to make you mine, beautiful?"

He knew it was a risky thing to say, but his risks had paid off so far, and he wasn't in his most cautious mood.

"Already yours, Bucky," you sighed, "I'm yours, please come in me…"

It hit him suddenly when you said that, and harder than he expected.  He hadn't come like that in… he hadn't come like that ever.  He preferred not to think about the sudden, wavering moan he let out in that moment because he wondered if it sounded unsexy, but thankfully his mind was distracted by the overwhelming sensation of his softening, sensitive cock still within you.

He managed to maneuver you in the way he needed as he pulled out, leaning you back into him and holding your legs open to the mirror in front of you.

"Look in the mirror, sweetheart,” he instructed, his whisper a little labored as he was still catching his breath, “watch my come leak outta your pussy."

You seemed to be in awe of it, despite it being the obvious outcome of what had just happened.  To be fair, he was in awe of it in a sense, too; a thick, slow stream of sticky white come dripping down from your swollen hole and onto the floor… it was mesmerizing.

Your body was limp in his arms as he finally allowed you to rest, your eyes falling shut as you melted into his embrace.  He took a moment to untie your wrists, tossing the garment aside with an exhausted sigh.  “Bucky…” you mumbled sleepily, apparently just to say his name.

“Was that… sort of what you were hoping for today?” he asked softly, kissing your temple.

“And more,” you giggled.  “Oh my god, I… I don’t even know how to describe that… you’re so… fuck, I don’t know, my brain is totally jelly right now.”

“In a good way?”

“In the best way.”

He smiled, admiring your vacant-yet-pleased expression and feeling satisfied with his work.  You turned over to lay your head on his chest, and he gladly draped his arms around you in response.  Holding you like this felt so purely right, in a way so few things did to him.  Funny enough, even just having fucked you on the floor and already holding you afterwards right now, he felt nervous again that he would say something wrong.  You were a modern woman, after all, and maybe this was this ‘hook-up culture’ he kept hearing about.

“Was that true what you said, doll?” he asked gently, feeling you stir a little and slide a leg up to rest over his.  “Did you mean it when you said that you were mine?  Or was it just, you know, the heat of the moment…?”

You smiled a little, looking kind of embarrassed.  “Um, yeah, I meant that… I’m yours, if you want me to be.”

He didn’t feel as guilty for feeling so possessive over you now.  Clearly it was appreciated, in the right context.  And he was now at least 75% sure that this wasn’t a hook-up.  “Well, I’m yours, too,” he replied with a soft laugh, “whether you want me or not.”

“I want you,” you confirmed.

You laid in silence together for some unknowable amount of time, but it was a purely unawkward silence.  A peaceful silence, and one filled with possibilities, but not uncomfortable.  Maybe it was uncomfortable in the sense that the carpet, while still being very plushy and expensive, was still the floor and not as forgiving as a bed… but it was completely worth it.

Part of him feared to ruin the moment by speaking, but much more of him feared that you would slip out of his grasp if he didn’t say something.  "This may be the wrong time to ask this— or maybe just the wrong order to do this stuff in— but I wanted to ask if you'd like to join me for dinner sometime."

You laughed, but cuddled deeper into his chest.  "Um, yeah, that would be nice."

"I just hope I'll find something nice to wear," he grinned.

[im-in-love-with-pizza-bites]

Hello, I loved you’re Holland!sister wedding post and was wondering if you could do one where the family goes on Holliday like skiing of something like that and maybe Holland!sister falls or something like that on the slope and she really hurts herself and the family and Harrison are comforting her while she is in pain I don’t mind what happens next. I hope that this follows you’re guidelines and that you fell ok with writing it. Thank you so much for you’re hard work to make you blog amazing.

Slopes

Holland Family X Sister!Reader, Harrison Osterfeild X Platonic!Holland!Reader

Summary: On vacation you get hurt, Harrison comforts you while waiting for your brothers.

Warnings: Injuries due to skiing, sprained ankle, fluff, siblings. (It's a warning in it's self. They are the kind of chaotic energy and fights everyone needs in their lives but if you have it you don't want it.)

Reader's age: 15

A/n: hiya Anon! Thank you so much for the request! I hope you like this fic! Thank you! It did follow my my guidelines.

Your family took a little trip to the slopes to go skiing. You loved skiing you've gone a few times before with a friend and their family. You were riding up the ski lift with Tom and Harrison. Paddy, Harry, and Sam were on the seat behind you three and your parents were relaxing in the suite while all six of you were out enjoying the mountain.

"So you gonna show off everything you learned last time you went skiing?" Harrison asked you joking.

"Maybe I am what are you scared I'm going to make you two seem lame?" You teased having known Harrison most of your life he was like the fifth brother you didn't want. You were happy to have him around though. Other than when he joined your older brothers in scaring boys away, then you hated having him around, as well as your brothers.

"I have so much dirt on you Tom you don't want to challenge me." You said laughing.

"I'm spiderman you can't make me seem lame." Tom said confidently.

"Oh really?" Tom asked.

"Yeah." You smiled hopping off the ski lift as it was at the top of the mountain.

"Princess I dare you to do it then." Tom teased, using the nickname your brothers had for you. You are after all the only sister after all you were the princess and they were your knights. It was just a family joke.

"I would but I left my phone with mum and dad." You stated as you three waited for your other brothers.

"What are you fighting about this time?" Sam asked once they got off the lift. You and Tom have a bit of rivalry nothing harmful but you can't be left alone or someone gets hurt.

"Nothing." The two of you stated.

"Believable." Paddy said sarcastically.

"I know right okay bye now." You put your skis on before heading down the mountain.

"Did she really just ditch us?" Harry asked.

"Yeah I'm going to go catch up with her." Tom said before following you down the slopes on his snowboard.

"Not trusting that." Sam said following you three. After while most of your brothers called it quits as they were getting pretty cold and wanted to check in with your parents so eventually it was just you and Harrison who stayed out since you weren't allowed to be on the slopes without an adult being a minor and all. Harrison offered to stay with you for a few more before you both would go inside for hot cocoa.

"Mate wait up." Haz exclaimed following you to the ski lift. "Last time."

"Okay." You smiled at the man. You two got on the lift and talked a little bit while you waited to get up there. It was rarely awkward despite him just being your brother's friend.

"So do you know any tricks?" Harrison asked once at the top.

"Yeah!" You nodded. Harrison smiled.

"Okay mate do it." He encouraged. You smiled before going down the mountain, he was following behind. There's was a small hill and the mountain to do tricks off of. So you rode up it and jumped off but you didn't land it properly landing on your leg wrong you fell. Harrison quickly stop and made his way to you.

"You okay?" He leaned down next to you to help you.

"My leg hurts." You cried out.

"Can you stand?" Harrison asked.

"I don't know." You whimpered at the pain. He sighed before looking around seeing plenty of people rode by without noticing either of you. Haz stood back up and grabbed the ski poles, in one hand before putting his hand out.

"Let's try." He gently helped you up so you were leaning against against him.

"How are we gonna get down?" You asked looking down at your skis and his snowboard.

"I didn't get that far mate." Harrison said thinking for a second.

"Why don't you just get off the snow board and carry it while I carry my skis and ski poles." You asked him as though it was obvious.

"Good idea." He helped you sit down before taking a seat next to you and taking his snowboard off before you took your skis off carefully. Before he finally stood up his snowboard in one hand using his free hand he helps you up. You hold your skis and ski poles in one hand as the two of you make your way down the mountain careful to stay out of the way of the other skiers and snowboarders.

Soon you were back down at the lodge, he left you sitting on a coach in the lobby while he went to get help. It wasn't long until your brothers were surrounding you, with the up most worry.

"I'm not dying!" You exclaimed as they were getting on your last nerve.

"Okay back up." Your mom came to your rescue getting them back away and quiet down from their worrying.

"Will she be okay mum?" Tom asked.

"Yeah."

"Tommy? Can you get me a hot chocolate?" You asked sweetly. Oh you are going to be taking advantage of this injury. Your brothers especially Tom will be very eager to help you out.

"Okay princess." Tom nodded going to get it. Paddy immediately noticed you cheeky grin. He knew what you were doing. He was the only one that didn't fall for you tricks whenever you got hurt.

"It's probably just a sprain ankle you're okay." Nikki assured you smiling at you.

"Thank you, mum." You said sitting up.

"Your welcome. But you can't ski anymore this week"

"But mu-" You tried to argue, but she gave you a look. "On second thought skiing is overrated I much rather stay in the room watching movies." You backtracked. Your mom shook her head before leaving to get ice for your ankle.

"You're stuck in the hotel room during our holiday." Paddy teased. Naturally even when your injured the youngest of your brothers will still be prone to teasing you.

"Here you go." Tom smiled walking in with a cup of cocoa.

"Thank you Tommy!" You smiled taking it from him.

"Your welcome."

"She can't ride the slopes any more this week!" Paddy said laughing. You reached out trying to slap your youngest brother but he backed up. "Ha! Missed me." He stuck his tongue out laughing at you.

"Sammy?" You asked sweetly. "Can you smack his for me?" You smirked. Sam shrugged slapping his brother on the arm. "Ha! I win!" You laughed.

"That's cheating!" Paddy said pouting.

"Don't hate the player hate the game." You joked laughing. Haz walked back into the room seeing your brother surrounding them selves around you just as when he left the room earlier.

"Are you dying?" He asked walking over.

"A little why?" You asked the man smiling.

"How do you die a little?" Harry asked. You shrugged.

"Okay then." Sam mumbled.

"Don't ask questions!" You exclaimed. Your brothers laughed.

"Sorry your highness." Sam joked faking a bow.

"It's okay peasant." You said feigning an accent

"Glad to know the injury didn't change your attitude." Harrison joked.

"Okay. Let's stop that. Y/n I looked for other stuff you can still do there's an arcade." Tom interjected.

"Okay.. But tonight I'm just going to rest." You mumbled taking a sip of your hot chocolate.

"What movie are we watching?" Harry asked taking a seat next to you on the couch after your brothers and Harrison looked at each other and back to you.

"I don't... Maybe we bought a zoo?" You asked.

"Anything you want," Sam said following suit of his twin and sitting down followed by the other men.

"Mum! Dad! Do you want to watch a movie with us!" Tom shouted.

"Sure coming!" They responded.

That holiday didn't turn out exactly how you imagined but it was still really fun. You spent all of it in the arcade and at the lounge a different family member joining you for a little while each day.

[vdlest]

He won't allow it

Characters:

TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary:

Just when Zemo is about to use you as a pawn to your next plan for your mission in Prague, Bucky decided to remind him that he won't allow anyone to use you. An unexpected confession came after.

Warning:

Swearing

You are with Sam and Bucky in Prague for their mission that has to do with the flag smashers. You and Sam were against Bucky's plan of freeing and using Zemo, but you had no choice but to give it a chance. After all, Bucky is right. Zemo is the person who can be an expert to things that has to do with Hydra.

After Bucky's show last night as a winter soldier, Zemo wants to take it to the next level — he wants to use you to know who the Power Broker is, but the only way to do it is to be dress as a sexy pawn and catch the eye of the men who knows about the whereabouts and information of the Power Broker.

"Let me get this straight," you stared at Zemo who is standing not so far from you, "You want me to flirt with those scumbags and put myself into their lair?" you asked unbelievably.

You, Sam, and Zemo are the ones discussing this matter, while Bucky is still outside "for a walk."

Last night was already a high risk, but you entering the world of one of the most dangerous organization in the world would be higher risk. It's not that you're afraid or scared, you know you can do it, you can pull it off. But one wrong move can put your life in the line, as well as your friends' lives, which is the very last thing you want to happen.

"You used Bucky last night and we all know how it ended," Sam pointed out as he sat down beside you. "We cannot afford to take another risk and fail. The flag smashers are already too much ahead of us and if we continue to let them be ahead of us, a lot of lives will be in danger." he added.

"But if we pulled this off, we will definitely know how to stop the flag smashers," Zemo countered.

You and Sam exchanged glances as Zemo continue to explain his proposition.

"This may be a higher risk than what we did last night, but knowing you, y/n," as Zemo mentioned your name, you take a look at him, "Knowing how you work, you'll definitely pull this off. When I came up with this plan, I immediately thought of you. Steve won't choose you if you are not good."

You immediately stop him, "Don't use Steve to convince me about your questionable plan, Zemo," you glared at him.

But at the back of your mind, you know that you can pull Zemo's plan off. You know in your mind that you can actually help the group to finally put an end to this mission.

"All you have to do is approach this guy," Zemo showed you a printed photo of a guy, "This guy is a regular visitor of the power broker. Once you caught his eye, you made him believe that you're into him, and that he finally showed you information about the power broker, just put this powder..." he took a plastic of unknown powder from his pocket, "...in his drink and he'll fell asleep in no time and that's when we'll enter the picture."

You stared at the photo of the guy and the powder that Zemo handed you. You're very sure that you can do it, but a little part of you is worried about you being alone with a guy that you don't know — a complete stranger.

"That's still a risk, Zemo," Sam said while sitting on the couch behind you, "You want to use y/n as a pawn, which is a very dangerous job. What if this guy do something immoral to her? What action should we take? You're gonna risk her life and most of all, you want him to flirt with a guy he doesn't know at all."

"What?!"

You, Sam, and Zemo turned around and saw Bucky walking towards the three of you. His eyes are mad, staring straight to Zemo. He just came back from his "walk" but you knew that he didn't came from a walk, he actually fixed something and you'll find it out later.

"Enlighten me," Bucky commanded Zemo, "What are you planning this time, huh?"

Zemo explained his plan, but he wasn't finish with his explanation when Bucky grabbed the glass from his hand and threw it on the wall, shattering the glasses into pieces on the floor.

"Bucky!" you exclaimed when you saw what he did.

You're about to go near him, but Sam gave you a tap on your shoulder meaning he'll be the one to go near Bucky and calm him down.

"No, don't go near me, Sam. Don't you ever and dare to stop me," he glared at Sam before he turned his attention back to Zemo, "I agreed to your schemes last night — playing as the winter soldier that I was before. It almost killed me! I hated what I felt last night, remembering the times that I was a killer! But I had no choice because I know it will give us a lead. But I am not and I won't ever gonna allow you to use y/n in your dirty schemes! I won't allow you to use her to enter the lair of demons!" Bucky yelled at Zemo, which surprised you and Sam.

Zemo raised his two hands, surrendering his idea and his plan.

You and Sam exchanged glances but your eyes immediately traveled to Bucky when you felt his eyes staring at you.

You saw in his eyes his deep concern for you, something you've been feeling for quite some time now. You don't understand why he is extra protective of you. You wanted to go near him and tell him that you can do it, but there's a part of you stopping you to do so. You were afraid that he might scold you if you try to convince him that Zemo's plan could be a big help to your mission.

When Sam spoke, you broke your staring contest with Bucky.

"I'll go grab some dinner for us," Sam said then he walked towards Zemo and literally grabbed his collar, "I'll also take this unbelievable guy with me." he said as they make their way out of the room.

As soon as you and Bucky are left in the place you are staying in Prague, he went to the kitchen not so far from where you two are standing.

"What was that?" you asked as you followed him in the kitchen.

He removed his leather jacket and harshly placed it on top of the counter, he just ignored your question, "Want some tea?" he casually asked you as if nothing happened.

You scoffed, "Seriously, Bucky? You're just gonna pretend nothing happened? That you didn't exploded like a time-bomb in front of me, Sam, and especially Zemo?" you asked him.

He continued making a tea as if he's not hearing you.

"You know that I can do it. I can actually pull Zemo's plan off, right?" you asked him then you walked towards him but he is still not minding you, "I can actually flirt with the guy that can actually lead us to the power broker, and after that, we'll get what we want. Mission accomplished!"

"It's not that fucking simple, y/n!" he slammed on the countertop making you jumped in surprise. He turned to face you and you saw how furious he is, "You want me to allow you flirt with that scumbag? You want me to allow that guy to lay his hands and dirty fingers on you? I won't allow it, as long as I am alive, I won't allow it!" he turned around and walked away from you.

But you decided to follow him.

"You won't allow it, why? You know me, Bucky. You know I can do it!" you taunted him.

"Well, I can't fucking watch any guy making a move on you!" he yelled as he face you again, making you stop from following him, "I know you can do it, I believe in you! But I don't have to courage to just sit down and watch any guy touching you!"

You closed your eyes for a second then when you opened it, you asked him again, "Can't you just tell me why?"

"Because I like you!"

He what?

"I like you and I wasn't planning to feel that way for you! But God damn it, I like you!" he snapped.

You slowly understand why he's being so protective of you the whole time you're in this mission, why he wanted to put you out of this mission at the first place. He knew this mission is complicated and can put your life in danger, but since you insisted to be part of it, he had to take every extra precautions he can take just to make you safe. You finally understand why he didn't want to make Zemo's plan to life.

"I'm sorry," he apologized as soon as he realized all the things he said to you, "I'll just go inside the room."

He was about to turn his back on you when you stopped him, "And just like that you're gonna turn your back on me?" you asked him. He stopped from moving as if he's frozen from where he is standing, "You won't even ask me how I feel after your outburst?"

"Y/n, don't make yourself obligated to like me back," he said, almost in a sad tone.

"How can I be obligated to like you back when I already like you the first time I saw you?" you asked him.

He chuckled sarcastically, "How can you like me the first time we saw each other? I was in deep mess back then when we first met. I was inside a killer's body," he was referring to the time when he was still being interrogated by authorities as the winter soldier, "How can you like a killer?"

"I didn't like the killer. I like the person I saw in your heart, the person Steve saw in you, the person I believed in," you sincerely said. You slowly walked towards him and touched his vibranium arm, "But even if you were the killer you were saying, I won't change anything about how I feel for you."

You did not wait for him to say anything, you just pulled him towards you and gave him a hug.

"Thank you for telling me how you really feel for me, Bucky," you said as you put your arms around him.

You soon felt his arms around you, hugging you back.

"They can take everything from me, but not you. I won't allow it," he said, tightening the hug you guys are sharing.

-v.dl

[thedepthsoffandomminds]

FLIES THE HAWK pt 24

Master list

Over the next few days you spend a lot of time watching the Miaygi-do and Eagle fang kids sparing together with both Sensie's. You even started to enjoy it. At some point the two men decided that they should learn each others style of karate and so everyone had a few days off of training.

You had spent the day with everyone at Sam's house in her pool, though you had elected not to swim and stayed in your long sleeved top on. Eli had gone for a swim but spent most of his time beside you. He had dyed his mohawk purple.

"You like it?" He asked with a big grin.

"I do," you giggle.

"It matches yours." He said running your hair through his fingers.

"I noticed." your put your hand in his and he pressed a kiss to your knuckles.

It had been nice to spend time with the group, you even spent some time getting to know the others a bit more. As evening started to fall Eli drove you both home. He stopped outside your house.

"I need to grab some bits from mine. Do you want to come with me?"

You think for a moment.

"I'll be okay, just don't be too long." You say before getting out of the car and walking up to your house. The front door was open and you felt nerves clenching at your throat.

"Hello?" you call in.

"Hi." Robby's voice was stern and it ran you cold.

"What are you-?"

"I came to talk to you. I saw Sam the other day and I realised Tory was wrong, but I see it doesn't matter." he gestured to the window.

"Eli is just helping to look after me, you know your Cobra Kai friends broke in here and tried to attack me?" You had found confidence from somewhere.

"They did what?" He moved closer to you, "I didn't know."

"Oh really? How could you not know?" You started to raise your voice.

"Y/n, look I do care about you, I just need Kreese right now. With the way my dad has been I just need him." Robby tried to explain.

"No you need to be with your friends. you'd have all of us if you just stopped being so blinde."

"I can't leave yet, there is a kid; I was at juvy with his brother, he needs my help." Robby looked conflicted.

"You could help him at Miyagi-do."

He shakes his head.

"Its complicated. Just, I can't handle someone else hating me. Please don't." His voice was quiet.

"I don't hate you, Robby. It's just Cobra kai frightens me. You should go. Eli will be back soon." You say moving away from him.

"You love him don't you?" He asked.

You huffed.

"God you boys are jealous all the time."

Robby looked down, nodded and left the house through the back door. It wasn't long before Eli was knocking at the front.

"Hey, every thing okay?" He asked walking over to you. You nod.

"Yeah I think I just wanna go to bed." You say walking toward the stairs.

"Sure okay, I'll um, I'll just set up down here." He patted the pile of blankets your friends had been using. You say goodnight and go up stairs, washing your face and getting into a set of pyjama shorts and a strap top. You kept thinking about Eli down stairs. You had liked him for so long, and he was definitely trying to be a good person now. You weren't sure, but part of you wanted to go down to him, to let him kiss you and hold you. It had felt so good waking up in his arms.

Sitting on your bed you opened instagram going through his photos, until you fell asleep.

There is spicey spice coming but how hot do you want it???

🌶 = just a little but not too far

🌶🌶= I wanna see it like looking through the key whole

🌶🌶🌶= whooe, I'm gunna need a cold shower let me know in the comments.

Pt25

@peppamultifanimagines @shaybot12 @it-was-never-meant-to-be-boys @caelum-the-part-time-nihilist @filmfvckers @morganaah @lulubutton34 @carliim @buckysdemonsimp @space-helicopter @slytherinroyalty16 @shotosgirl @hannyhoe @torynichcls @hurricanerex666 @sabrinablack1 @haruuww @sarcastically-defensive17 @1-fuzzy-squirrels

[alirhi]

This is oddly fun lol

Let's see how many of these I can churn out before I get distracted or need a break! (pff. like I need an excuse to watch the show again. Despite its flaws, I really, really love TFATWS, guys)

Without further ado, let's get down to it!

Episode 2: The Star-Spangled Man

I'm pretty sure I'm on record when it comes to my undying hate for John Walker, yes? So obviously, Bucky's grumpiness 100% stays 😂

I'm not really a fan of how much emphasis they put on the shield. I can see it as a catalyst for Bucky to go confront Sam, yes, but he wouldn't keep going "shield shield shield" like a broken record. Bucky has consistently been shown to be an empathetic man. I can't believe for a second that he'd be barking at Sam about having no right to give up the shield; he'd ask why. Sam's got shit to do, so he'd get impatient and not answer.

"Why'd you give up so easily? If you were overwhelmed, I could've helped you-" "You've been ignoring me. Like now, how you're ignoring me walking away from you." "Well, you weren't texting me about this." "You think I needed your permission?!" "No, but I was right there with Steve while he was learning what it meant to be Cap. I wouldn't mind helping you get used to-" "Then go teach him." A vague gesture toward the "Cap is back" posters. Bucky makes a face. "Steve passed the mantle to you. You fought with him. You earned it. That little shit didn't." "What do you want me to do about it?" "Just tell me why, Sam. I mean it. I just wanna understand." "Not now, Buck. I've got shit to do. You see me heading for a plane right now, right?" "This is important!" "So is this." Sam tells him about the Flag Smashers, we get our silly Big Three/Gandalf conversation.

I'm sorry, but that whole jumping from the plane scene is funny as hell, and I love all the nods they added in to jokes from the press tours that brought us this show in the first place (like ripping the sleeve off his jacket lol). I don't think I'd change a single thing from the Big Three convo to Bucky joining Sam in the warehouse.

"You're doing the staring thing again." "You're staring at your watch," Bucky points out. He knows it's linked to Redwing, he's just pointing out how dumb that line is in that situation. They're there for recon lol. They're meant to be looking around.

I don't...particularly care about the other common gripe here? Meaning, "Bucky's a civilian, so why is he allowed to randomly jump in on a military mission?" Bucky's also known in this universe as an Avenger, just like Sam, so I don't think anyone would really bat an eye at him joining. Also, I have my own agenda related to Bucky's apparent freedom to walk in and out of military/government things.

What does bug me (as funny as it is) is Bucky's animosity toward Redwing. Again... Bucky is a certified nerd. Always has been. If anything, he'd be fascinated by Redwing and Sam would constantly have to slap him away because he's leaning in too close trying to see the tiny watch monitor. "I don't trust Redwing" is just old man griping "I don't trust your newfangled technology" and that... that's not Bucky.

And that "we're not assassins" dig, and then laughing when Bucky gets upset? That's not Sam. Both of these men have shown a remarkable amount of empathy, and Sam has a background in helping traumatized vets. If he cared enough about Bucky to be texting him after Steve left, he'd care enough not to make callous jokes about his time as The Winter Soldier, whether he knows the full story or not.

The fight on top of moving trucks looks cool, but makes no logical sense. I keep trying to think of a way to explain this from a story perspective, rather than a lazy "it looks cool!" filmmaking one, and I'm coming up blank. Anyone with half a brain would have pulled over, had the fight, and then taken off. It was a fun sequence, though... Eh. I'll leave it.

When Karli breaks Redwing, Bucky doesn't say "I always wanted to do that." Again, it's funny - I love the jabs about that stupid robo bird XD - but not Bucky. In my version, he smirks and says "You're so gonna regret that."

"You were kinda getting your asses kicked before we got there." Is immediately followed by Bucky staring him down and asking, "And... how did that fight end for you?" Sam adds, "I don't see them in custody. Are-are they following in a van?" He looks around, sarcastically searching for another vehicle. Walker and Hoskins grimace at each other, grudgingly conceding that point.

credit to @dailycelebs

Seeing Walker, and having to listen to his stupid pro-government rhetoric, makes Bucky think about Steve. When we cut from the Flag Smashers back to Bucky and Sam and the closeup of Bucky's pensive face, we hear 1940s Steve angrily telling 1940s Bucky about how the higher ups in the army had already written off the POWs and were going to leave them to die. "I love our country, Buck," he laments, "but what do I do when I'm not too sure anymore about the people who run it?"

"What you always do," is young Bucky's answer, "stand for what's right, not who's in power."

Perfect lead-in to the conversation about handling things themselves.

When Sam meets Isaiah, and hears his story, not only is he horrified and heartsick for him, but he also begins to see Bucky in a new light. He's seeing Bucky's face, the way he tries to hide his emotions and not make this conversation about him, and he's putting things together. He's still upset at being out of the loop, but he's seeing more of the situation than just "omg black super soldier". When Bucky says "he'd already been through enough," Sam asks quietly, "like you?"

The racist cop comes back before Bucky can answer, to arrest him for missing his appointment with Raynor.

ngl guys, I was so moved by the difference in how that cop treated Sam (before knowing he's Important) vs how he treated Bucky (knowing that the government views him as a violent, if pardoned, criminal). He approaches Sam with his hand on his gun, eager to defend Bucky; "is this guy bothering you?" Just because they're having a heated conversation. Then, when he sees that there's a warrant for Bucky, he approaches timidly, apologizes, treats him gently and politely. By "moved," btw, I don't mean "it was so sweet." I mean "this is fucking sick, and very, very realistic." White cops see a white guy and treat him with respect regardless of his actual criminal record, while being openly hostile towards an innocent black man without even knowing who he is, just because he's black. Moments like this made me applaud Spellman.

"You, too, Sam - That wasn't a request" is Sam's first sign that there's something off about Raynor.

Look, again... The couples therapy banter is funny because Sebastian and Anthony are funny, but that scene, from a storytelling and a mental health standpoint, is atrocious. Without some underlying reason behind her actions, Raynor is just a pointlessly terrible therapist.

Rather than insulting Bucky from the outset, Sam is angry with Raynor for violating Bucky's privacy by not only introducing herself as his therapist, but forcing a "couples" session without her patient's consent. With his background pre-Avenging, he knows this shit shouldn't fly. He immediately points out how unprofessional she's being.

Raynor doesn't bother listening - the fuck does she care, really? She shrugs and casually admits it's "slightly unprofessional" but proceeds anyway.

"Whatever's eating at him?" Sam scoffs. "Did you really just say that to a WWII veteran and the world's longest-serving POW with complex PTSD? Did I hear that right? I've had, maybe, like five conversations with this man since we met, and even I know he's been through some shit and-" "Sam," Bucky tries to interrupt, looking uncomfortable. With his crushing guilt, he has an easier time dealing with insults than someone coming to his defense. "No," Sam snaps. "If the HIPAA Slayer over here wants to drag me into this, she's damn well gonna hear what I have to say!" He turns back to Raynor and demands, "Is this how you've been treating him this whole time? Downplaying what he's been through and making a grown-ass man sound like a sulking teenager?" Raynor keeps her cool, but barely. Visibly frustrated and annoyed, she ignores Sam's tirade and tries to force the conversation back onto the track she wants it on. Bucky's embarrassed and doesn't know how to react to any of this, so he still makes that little "he would talk less" jab. Sam, seeing that he's not going to get anywhere with him until they're away from this bitch, glowers and plays along. We get our silly/angry banter.

After their argument with Walker, Sam finally confronts Bucky about what really happened to him.

"He meant HYDRA; HYDRA used to be my people." "Were they?" Sam asks, stopping him and looking him in the eye, not letting him look away or deflect. "Steve was under the impression that they were your captors. I was under the impression that the Wakandans spent two years deprogramming you so no one could use you the way HYDRA did ever again." "I-" Startled, not expecting that, Bucky stutters a little and admits, "Yeah, I... That's true, I guess." "You guess?" "Does it matter? Sam rolls his eyes. "I dunno, does it matter that you were a slave for most of the 20th century?" "I doubt it matters much to my victims." "HYDRA's victims," Sam corrects firmly. "Just like you." Bucky fidgets; he doesn't know what to do or say. No one since Steve has even so much as insinuated that Bucky wasn't 100% culpable for what he did while under HYDRA control. "Look," Sam sighs, "I don't particularly like you. I don't hate you, but I'm not your biggest fan." "...Thanks?" "I just need you to know where I stand-" "Yeah, got it-" "-So you know I'm not biased like Steve when I say you had no choice. I don't know your story, but I know no one flips on a dime from docile and plagued with guilt to an unstoppable killing machine and back without some serious psychological damage behind that. I'm not saying you're an innocent little bunny, but I don't think you're a monster." "Thanks," Bucky croaks, more sincerely this time, and a bit choked up. He clears his throat and looks distinctly uncomfortable as he grumbles, "but to catch these guys, we may need to talk to a monster." Sam cringes. "I was afraid you'd say that."