#just to emotionally prepare idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thisanimal · 2 years

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holy moly i am not good

#ive been sick for like a week now. and i think ive been sick for so long because i had covid + work stress so im not recovering as fast #and i have a really big meeting at work tomorrow #that im supposed to be in charge of…….and i uhhhh do Not feel prepared #and i was supposed to do pre work this weekend……but i said f that and actually kinda relaxed on my holiday break #so now i have to scramble tomorrow lol. and hopefully run through it with my manager beforehand??#tough to really care at all when im already one foot out the door at this place lol #and i thiiiiiink my 15 year old dog is gonna get put down probably after the holidays #he has a big lump on his neck……no test results yet but it’s grown really fast so like. that cant be anything good #and idk i obviously know hes really old and his health has been declining and this winter will be really tough on him #but omg it does not make it easierrrrrr……..#ive had him since like 3rd grade. hes my baby :( my first dog #and i have a lot of guilt for not spending as much time with him since i went to college and started working #idk it just really sucks on top of everything else lol #genuinely think ill have a breakdown for at least a week when he actually passes #i might try to request the first week of jan off but i dont think work will like that #just to emotionally prepare idk #i need like a month off tbh #im leaning so hard towards quitting #or seeing a doc to get stress related leave of abscence #because my brain is breaking #i feel like ive been half a person for the last two years #personal

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labetalol · 2 years

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this scene in s1e3 when the team realizes dale is the most babygirl in the entire county

#cannot tell me they all aren't a little in love with coop. wym i'm projecting #anyway <3 yes i'm insane. i really genuineyl thought peaks'd be more popular on tumblr. where is my unhinged fanart and insanity #wuntrum doing the lords work <- love their peaks art #ok. tag time #dale cooper #<-implied #lucy moran #harry truman #andy brennan #deputy hawk #WHAT IS HISFULL NAME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#twin peaks #my art #how soon is too soon for re-watching the show. i did this instead of preparing for my osce 2mo yayyyyyyyy #i do love that scene. the way everyone leans in in their chair swuinting eyes like what the hell is he gonna do...#how he maintains such an air of professionalism despite literally talking about dream worlds + throwing bottles as a means to #determine who is guilty. bonking andy on the head... oh andy the bestie andy andy andy #i miss them... dream blunt rotation tbh . idk obviously fuck cops etc. but they are just some guys...#like small town cops idk. fwwm's sheriff & deputies sucked MAJORLY so like. we know it's literally just trumans dept like just them #they are the only good cops ever... sigh. girl help i'm getting emotionally attached to a tv show that aired before i was born

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hoziersredguitar · 2 months

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I miss old tumblr in the sense that i could complain about board exams and worrying about not getting enough to be eligible for my medical entrance test and i'd have summoned half the indian side of tumblr to sympathize

#im in sm stress #if i dont score above 75% im not eligible for my neet exam #which im planning to take a drop year for #and its gonne be both expensive and emotionally taxing #and i have to give THIS years neet exam too #for reasons #im not in the clear until may 20 #adulthood is a scam #And that is well BEFORE i even start preparing for neet #well before i even have to consider the possibility that i might not get in #im pretty much using this post to vent in tags #its like 4 am #and im stressed. scared. everything #its really difficult just existing w adhd and mental illness #much less studying #and neet is like highly competetive #the cutoff goes so high #i want to get out of this city #and be safe and actually be alive for once #a big part of me will shrivel up and die if i stay #and this is the first time i've actually wanted smth for real #tentatively and doubtfully #but wanting still #and idk if i'll make a good doctor or if i'll fuck up and have it all blow up in my fsce #overthinking basically #im worried im not. capable of doing this #anyways desi tumblrinas where are you😭😭😭😭

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myersesque · 4 months

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so like. what is the general consensus abt getting gale's orb tattooed on u. bc i relate to him n his backstory a fuckton and Really Want It (no promises i'll listen to the general consensus, i just wanna know what it is)

#like. am i good to go or am i signing myself up for eternal fandom discourse #for the record what it represents in the story is kinda WHY i want it #i am very aware of what it means #again i find him super relatable to the point i cried through his entire quest lmao. watching his cutscenes sometimes feels like watching-#-myself from an outsider pov.#i think i want it so bad bc it's like. a physical metaphorical manifestation of that very real trauma feeling that we share #and representative of surviving and getting past the specific flavour of abuse that we both experienced #and also. chronically ill gang lmao #idk. it means a lot to me and it's sorta a darkly hopeful sorta symbol in my brain #not bc of mystra or netheril or whatever. bc of GALE #but again. if i'm going to be yelled at and told i don't understand his character if i do end up getting it #i want to at least be emotionally prepared for that #no guarantee i will get it. no guarantee i won't #i'm just thinking abt it n want input #og #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #id

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chipjrwibignaturals · 11 months

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diversity loss! local autistic forced to deal with plans being suddenly changed

#I am going. to kill someone #like I get the cause of this was something out of anyone’s hands. it’s not my sisters fault things changed.#but we went from ‘I’ll come down Monday + Tuesday to help you move then drive to the lake for the rest of the week’#to ‘actually we’re moving tomorrow can you make it a day trip and then leave Saturday for the lake w everyone else’#and like. sure. arguably this is a ‘better’ set up but. I fucking HATE change like this #especially bc it’s so late like. okay then guess I’ll fuck myself.#I need to go unpack all my shit (bc I was being GOOD and doing shit EARLY for once!) and repack for the new plans #and like. fucking emotionally prepare for this new change bc I wasn’t THINKING this was gonna happen. im not READY yknow?#idk. fucking. slams autistic diagnostic ‘inflexible adherence to routines’#my ROUTINE has been CHANGED (on top of ALREADY being disturbed by this whole trip) and it’s causing DISTRESS #< like. dw I’m fine i just need to be a bitch about it for a bit

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hecksupremechips · 3 months

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Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩

#the klock keeps ticking #yttd #i wanna replay yttd so bad but i also like Gotta play other stuff with the time i have akskks #but yeah the brainrot this specific character has given me idk if I ever really talked about it but it was BAD #i like obsessively played the game in like 3 days and it was not a good idea lol but just like shin #i had to take like a week to recover from this guy cuz i couldnt stop thinking about him and how hes just like me fr #first off just the very inconsistent personality hes got going on that is very me he has these different personalities he wears to cope with #all the traumatic shit happening hes both so helpless its comical and so manipulative its terrifying #and idk its really interesting how like good and bad he is at being manipulative like hes very smart and can analyze weaknesses and lie so #good not even he knows the truth but hes also grasping at straws he doesnt think things through at all #like the second main game he just didnt prepare at all hes fumbling his way through everything its going so bad #he just wants to go home he wants to outdo the game makers but hes being used by them so bad he wants it to STOP #and its just the way that like. it hits so hard cuz you know hes really not a bad person not at all he doesnt want any of this hes just #being horribly manipulated and doing whatever he can to survive but its also really scary how #well hes able to lie and manipulate and claw his way through but hes also weaker than a grade schooler #and you never forget that either and as much as he cheated his way through he still failed it was all just a cheap trick in the end #and all of this hits very hard like his personality is eerily similar to mine and just the way he thinks and acts #cuz im the same like im weak and a dweeb who likes funny cats but im also emotionally detached and observant and selfish #but where it hits the hardest is his relationship with midori like oooof that one was too real just like #the first person who was ever his friend was horribly abusive and treated him like a child and didnt respect any boundaries #and he just got sick pleasure out of seeing shin be upset and he was like. a groomer #and shin was fucking relieved when he died but also kept his scarf and adopted his personality to survive #and still goes by sou after ch2 and the scene that gets me the most is when shin ai is asked about his relationship with midori #and you can just SEE how horrified shin is because his deepest shame his abuse is being shared to everyone without his consent #and hes reliving it all in that moment and literally seeing who he used to be experiencing the abuse #he just curls into himself and like covers his ears and pulls his hair thats literally what i do AAAAAA #im just so grateful for the direction they took this character kokichi ouma wishes he was shin tsukimi so bad #and yeah just like damn. its scary how similar i am to shin like damn i really am going through it huh oof #I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE HE DID ALL OF THAT STUFF YOUR HONOR BUT LISTENNNN #have you considered that hes cute and smart and weird and maybe just needs friends who arent assholes

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dollsome-does-tumblr · 1 year

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if anyone else finishes the nevers and feels Profoundly Emotionally Addled by hugo swann and frank mundi, please tell me about it and we can start a support group or something

#it's been like DAYS and i am still in WISTFUL AGONY!!!!!#idk why this relationship clobbered me so intensely in the very soul but it sure did #like i was prepared to be emotionally compromised by penance and amalia and so that went as planned #but i had honestly even forgotten frank and hugo's relationship existed until i did this rewatch!!!!!#(turned-into-first watch!!!)#and now ........ i am destroyed #it's so hard to really get into a ship with almost no internet presence i wouldn't wish it on anyone!#dollsome's deep thoughts #the nevers #the nevers spoilers #i know this post will get no notes but i just had to cast a net out into the sea .........#just in case anyone else out there ever winds up feeling the same!

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digyoman · 6 months

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today is the three-year anniversary of the day that i watched the stand (2020) for the first time!

#which means it’s been exactly three years since the revival of this hyperfixation!#‘why do you remember the exact date’ because i’m weird? idk.#i love taking random days and turning them into incredibly specific personal holidays. :)#so today we celebrate the 2020 miniseries!#i have many issues with it ( as you are all aware ) but i HAVE to give it credit for bringing me back into the stand.#and as much as i will rant about how awful it is… i really don’t hate it.#i’m emotionally attached.#it has flaws. but i love it anyway. <3 #also! for those of you still reading: tomorrow is lloyd’s birthday. :)#( not in canon… just another day i made up lmao )#do i have any plans? not really.#but prepare for me to be annoying this week!!!

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james-stark-the-writer · 2 months

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reading Letters to a Writer of Color edited by Deepa Anappara and Taymour Soomro, a collection of essays from writers of color about their experiences writing and how they've navigated spaces dominated by people unlike them to improve their craft and tell their stories their way, and it's fucking great so far, a little too relatable, especially the sections and anecdotes in this first essay, of being queer in one place, and desi in another because of The Family, but this section on page 14 just fucking killed me. like, yeah, that's honestly kind of what i think my experience with Being Gendered for the first time (consciously) was.

gendering is largely a process external to me, that's honestly why i've started describing myself as "genderfree". idrc about gender the way Some People do, and i particularly hate when they project those expectations onto me but like. this just really hit hard.

#james talks #letters to a writer of color #on writing #my professor is so sjfhsdhszhdhshdsh for assigning this to us to read.#like i'm sure the other people in the class need this but damn. this just didn't need to hit this hard for me rn.#just wasn't Emotionally Prepared for this and idk why #James reads stuff

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gregmarriage · 9 months

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truly my last relationship taught me so much. it also instilled in me some things i’m still unlearning. like, how most people won’t get mad if you accidentally fall asleep without saying goodnight (and not replying to messages, because i’m literally asleep), or freak out if you stop replying for like five minutes. like, i couldn’t do anything i enjoyed bc she’d be like ‘um, what fuck are you doing? why aren’t you answering me?!!!’ like relax, i’m literally just showering. it was truly a case of sitting still unless i wanted to upset her. and then i STILL somehow upset her and i never really knew why. but, hey, that relationship ended a long time ago, i should be fine now, right? 😐

#it’s literally been like five years and i still wake up sometimes like ‘oh god i didn’t say goodnight! oh god i didn’t reply back to that #person’s message!’ when said person doesn’t care one bit #it’s just cause that relationship was so crazy that it made ME crazy and i’m beginning to realise that yeah i still carry some shit from it #literally that relationship is the entire reason i’ve been single all this time and why i’m trying to be emotionally mature etc #bc that relationship ending gave me a smack around the head that said something needs to change’#bc the way i was before is the reason i was in that relationship and in that situation in the first place #and that relationship ending and trauma and shit separate from that made me get really romance repulsed for a while #still am sometimes tbh #pretty much permanently in a state of ‘yeah i need look after myself’ for the last five years #and idk when that would open up to me being in a new relationship #idk i really just need to not rush anything with anyone and just take things slow and see where they go #have fun in the meantime #bc my past few relationships have been really intense #especially the last one as i said #and i fully don’t have the time or energy for anything hardcore currently #so if there’s anyone at some point they must be prepared to wait for em and court me like we’re victorian lovers #you must wait three years untill we kiss for the first time bc i truly don’t know the timeframe for when i’d wanna do anything i’ll be #honest imaooooo #but yeah romance is a complicated subject for me #i’m literally a hopeless romantic but the thought of romance lately truly just makes me feel gross #like in theory yeah i wanna kiss someone but in actual practice i’m like get away from me!#idk i’m on the road to bulilding healthy relationships #romantic especially bc i really can’t go back to how i used to be #sorry to disappoint anyone imaoooo #but nah anyways people who want to get close to me and be my friend has to be cool with my boundaries i set up #and sometimes forget about even tho they’re my own boundaries bc i’m silly like that #could do casual stuff but i really don’t think i’m the type for that imao #and even that sets off the same alarms in my head so idk 🤷🏻‍♀️#gwen rambles #gwenposting

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khlur · 1 year

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i must look like a game of among us, the way ppl keep venting to me with no warning

#like i'll gladly listen to u lekin a little bit of warning so i'm prepared to meet u where u are emotionally #please. PLEASE #esp if it's people idk that well #like I'm glad u feel comfy talking to me but also 😭 i just woke up....

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mebiselfandi · 11 months

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#I’ve been like *gestures vaguely* wallowing and what not cause I have to go on a trip with my parents #now my mums saying we problem won’t go and idk what to do anymore #*probably #I’ve been like emotionally preparing and building up now I’m just #🧍‍♀️#things would be better if I had a hug rn

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marimayscarlett · 8 months

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#i started reading literally three (3) really interesting books #have numerous lovely fanfics waiting in my bookmarks #and what do i do?#going back to that one german fanfic which emotionally broke me into tiny pieces #and it took 3 days to recover from that #and it's not even some super innovative fanfic with some insane plot #it's just some love story fanfic (with reader insert which i normally DON'T EVEN READ) with my favourite german rapper #but the emotions the angs the feels in this are so heart wrenching #idk why i keep doing this to myself #preparing to cry again for three days straight #love my destructive brain #late night crying

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spiinsparks · 2 years

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||. it’s 3am and all i can freakin think about is that any person who wants to romance this idiot is gonna have to deal with whatever the equivalent of an emotional one-night-stand is (we’re not here for the actual thing in this house) bc he’s a dumb teenager who’s too independent to consider yknow maybe a proper commitment to someone doesn’t actually mean ... getting shackled down

#(it'd be so messy at first)#(like on the one hand you'll never find someone as loyal)#(he'd fight for u)#(....oft times quite literally)#(but on the other hand .... the concept of tying himself to (1) person is so foreign to him)#(and there's such a different commitment level that comes into romance vs. like. idk being a kid-parent to a kitsune)#(or a pal. or a hero/adventurer like there's EMOTIONAL STAKES)#(i mean that's not even getting into if you like him and he falls for you back it's gonna take him forever to notice)#(MUCH LESS actually come to terms with the feeling and what it m e a n s)#(but then it's like his lifestyle is so come and go... you'd have to be so mentally/emotionally prepared for that)#(like yes he'll make it up to you in spades and he'll always run right back bc i mean look at him constantly crashing at tails' place)#(but geez i can imagine that would make things so complicated for uh... certain... people)#(i think of amy in particular she seems to thrive off of connection/quality time)#(they have the same vibe just 2 completely different ways of going about it im going feral)#(like still using them as an example if /she/ wants commitment but /he/ wants .... not 'freedom' in the sense of her but like)#(//gestures//)#(he wants to go do things ok he's not settlin down that's not in his vocab)#(but like where's the compromise yknow? i think they''d find it real easy cos they both care about each other but where's the line)#(and yeah that question of 'what's the compromise/where's the line')#(idk that's interesting for sonic's romantic relationships but tbh also some of his more strong platonic ones too)#(admittedly like all of his relationships are platonic but still)#(like i just think =w=)#(i'm rambling imma delete this in the morning i thing but hh)#⸨ * OOC ⸩ — he was never actually called a rodent in the games but yknow .

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cobaltfluff · 1 year

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minding my own business on tweeter then this comes up

i sure hope this is a coincidence and the two terms have nothing to do with each other :) or else :))) i will lose my mind on sunday :)))))

#dust bunny #jjk spoilers #idk what's actually going on i dont want to click #also smh at manga leaks #now i'll just live in fear until sunday #i assume they're not related #but it sure was a slap in the face when i opened the website #tbf i would not be surprised if most of the cast die #some part of me is mentally prepared #but i will NEVER be emotionally prepared

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castieltrash1 · 1 year

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if ur upset dont worry s7 exists..... it's called 86 years by jmcgools on ao3 and its genuinely so well written it could be professionally canon.... so don't cry

i have that bookmarked already to read!!! tysm for sending this tho :') like i get the ending (especially the more i think about it) and it's not like i have any criticism for it but i think i went into bcs Not expecting a painful romance, if that makes sense! i knew it would flash forward to post brba but i rlly thought it was just gonna be a crazy wild prequel abt saul goodman so now im like. WOAH

anyway idk why it's impacting me so much but i literally made myself dehydrated from crying LMFADSOFJDSO i need to get a grip

#idk if this makes sense sorry #i think i would've just emotionally prepared myself more if i had a better idea of what i was going into #something something tragedy something something #answered #aminta #tati watches better call saul

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