#just two boys desperately clinging onto two ghosts nothing to see here

[fruitydiaz]

I'm just...

[bullshxtvixen]

On Mute

Pairing: Kenma x Reader

Request: This is me making the request for sucking Kenma while he streams. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I NEED IT! - @queenktbigal​

Word count: 3.2k (oops)

Warnings: 18+, Softdom!Kenma, Bondage, Spanking, Finger fucking.

Song: Gravity by John Mayer

A/n: Thank you to @kiribakuho​ and @egghoe-waffle​ for reading this over for me, and to everyone in the karasuhoe discord server for thirsting over this idea with me, i hope i did it justice!!

You can find the sequel to this fic here

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

“Kenmaaaaa.” 

Standing in the doorway of your boyfriend's gaming room in nothing but one of his old volleyball shirts and a thin pair of underwear, you looked at the back of the brunette’s head with a pout. He’d spent the last 2 hours streaming with the boys and you were desperate for some attention.

Pulling his headset back slightly to free up an ear, he mumbled to the guys about hopping off for a second before he turned to you, a sheepish smile playing on his lips. You watched his eyes widen slightly as he took in your bare thighs and his old shirt loosely clinging to your form -even though he no longer played, he still got a thrill out of seeing you wearing his number. He shuffled in his seat, tempted to reach out and slip the shirt off of you.

His eyes lingered on your thighs a moment longer, his tongue darting out to coat his bottom lip before his golden eyes met yours. A smirk forms on your lips at the blush covering his cheeks.

“I-I’ll be done after this game, I promise, bunny.” He turned back to the game, repositioning his headset. He needed to finish the game but his mind was already distract by thought of his fingers running up and down the soft skin of your thighs.

Your smirk disappeared. 

You were well aware that ‘After this game’ could mean anywhere from another 20 minutes to an hour, and you were too needy for that. You needed to feel his hands on you.

 You watched him a moment longer before a thought occurred to you. Let’s see if he can concentrate after this. Peering over his shoulder, you checked to make sure that he was only streaming via audio before shimmying your underwear down your legs and kicking them to the side. His shirt fell just below your butt so you were still covered.

Without bringing too much attention to yourself, you crept over to the side of his gaming chair before sinking to your knees. He was so engrossed in the game and mumbling commands under his breath that he didn’t notice you until you began to slowly turn his chair towards you, and even then his eyes never left the monitor in front of him. It wasn’t unusual for you to climb into his lap when he was gaming so he didn’t think anything of it. 

However, his head did snap in your direction, when he felt your fingers tug on the waistband of his sweatpants, “what are y-oh” it was too late for his hand that was reaching out to stop you. His cock was already released from it’s confines with your hand wrapped firmly around it, gently stroking his shaft. He immediately became hard under your touch and knowing that you had that effect on him had desire pooling in your stomach. 

You subtly rubbed your thighs together to create some friction.

Covering his mic with one hand, his free hand shot out and wrapped around your wrist, halting your movements. “What are you doing, bunny?!” He hissed, though you felt his cock twitch in your hand. He was getting turned on just as much as you.

You shot him a wicked smile before stroking your thumb over the tip on his cock, a move you knew would drive him wild.

His reaction was immediate, his hips bucked up into your hand as he bit back the moan that was threatening to leave his throat. 

‘I want to suck your cock’ you mouthed before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to the head of his now leaking member.

Kenma knew he should’ve pushed you away, or at least quit the game and carried you to the bedroom so he could take you there, but the sight of you pulling back from his cock with his precum coating your lips as if it were lipgloss, had all sense of reason flying out of his brain.

If that’s how you wanted to play, then so be it. 

“Give me a sec, guys.” He mumbled into his mic as he uncovered it before hitting the mute button. Releasing your wrist from his grasp, he reached for your chin, his soft fingers tilting your head so you could meet his eyes. Desire swirled in them, causing your body to heat up under his gaze. 

His usual laid back demeanor had gone and was now replaced with hunger. He wanted you, and the look alone told you his was going to have you begging for him.

He leaned forward so that his face was hovering just above yours, forcing you to crane your neck to look up at him. His warm breath ghosted over your lips, sending another shiver down your spine as his scent wrapped around you.

“You want to suck my cock, bunny?” His thumb swiping across your bottom lip before giving it a gentle tug. You nodded, giving his cock a gentle squeeze to convey your need for him. He leant back, a small smirk falling on his lips.

“Then suck it,” he held up a finger before you could move an inch, “but I’m going to finish this game and unmute the mic while you do it.”

You tensed. While the thought of sucking him off when there was a risk of people overhearing turned you on, you couldn’t help but still be a little apprehensive about it. Looking at Kenma, you could see that he thought he’d won as a smug smile settled on his features. He didn’t think for a second you’d go through with it.

Reaching over his desk, you pressed the unmute button so that the light switched from red to green, meaning that the mic was back on. “Game on.” You whispered.

Then your hot tongue was on his cock, licking a slip up his thick shaft before taking the tip into your mouth. He had to bite down on his lip to stop himself from moaning as your tongue danced around his tip, licking up the precum that was still collecting there. God, he did he taste good. There was no way you’d ever get bored of the way he tasted.

Turning his head back to the game, he managed to keep his voice level as he let the other players know that he was back in.

That just wouldn’t do. You wanted to see him writhe under your touch. 

Hollowing your cheeks you began to take more of him into your mouth, sucking and swirling your tongue around him as you did. You loved how big his cock was, even as it hit the back of your throat and caused you to gag, you only continued to suck harder.

Your free hand gripped his thigh as your head continued to bob up and down his length, your hand working what you couldn’t fit passed your lips. Meeting his eyes, he mouthed ‘all of it.’ before giving a gentle thrust of his hips and turning back to the game. As he hit the back of your throat once again, you felt your throat protest. Pulling away for air, you felt his hand reach down to fist in the back of your hair, preventing you from taking his cock all the way out of your mouth.

You moaned around what was left between your lips, the vibrations almost causing him to spill into your mouth right there. Fuck, did you feel good, he should’ve known his third favourite hole of yours would be able to work him well enough to have him ready to cum in minutes. He wasn’t going to let you have that satisfaction though.

Even still, that mouth of yours knew exactly how to work his cock and he was having a hard time remembering how to breath properly, let alone concentrate on the game in front of him. 

“You good, Kenma?” Kuroo’s voice came through the headset.

“Y-yeah, just having some issues...with my controls.” He said, his voice higher than he’d meant it to be as your mouth made a sinful sound around him. 

“You sure, I thought I heard a weird noise…” 

“It’s nothing!” He said quickly, too quickly. He hoped they didn’t press any further. He held his breath for a few seconds, but if Kuroo and the rest of the party suspected anything, they didn’t voice it. He let out a shaky breath.

Good. He didn’t actually want them to hear the lewd sounds your mouth was making as you took his cock down your throat. Those sounds belonged to him and only him.

He loosened his grip on your hair but you continued to take him further as your throat relaxed around his length, your nose now hitting the spatter of dark pubic hairs at the base of his cock. When you hummed around him and brought your fingers up to gently massage his balls, his whole body seemed to convulse under your touch.

Shaking his head, he tried to focus back on the game, his grip on the mouse a little tighter. His eyes followed his player on the screen when he spotted movement in the corner of the screen.

“Sniper, to the r—” He heard Kuroo -or maybe it was Shoyo, he couldn’t tell anymore, his mind was hazy with lust- call out, but it was too late. It was game over.

Throwing his headset onto the desk, he turned to you, his eyes burning into yours. You felt your walls clench between your thighs, your arousal beginning to leak out of you.

“Up, now.” You didn’t need to be told twice. You stood up in front of him, waiting for him to make the first move.

“Bunny, that mouth of yours...it’s sinful.” His voice was low as his hand reached out to caress your inner thigh, his fingers leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. “I couldn’t even concentrate on the game, I just wanted to watch you taking me between those beautiful lips.” Up and up his fingers went, “but now, now I want to see myself disappearing into the ones between your hips.” His fingers reached the apex of your thighs and he groaned.

“You’re not wearing any underwear, Bunny. Did you plan this?” He already knew the answer. You could only moan as he slipped two fingers in you, his thumb beginning to make tight circles on your throbbing clit.

“You’re already dripping and i’ve hardly touched you,” his fingers picked up their pace inside you as the knot in your stomach began to tighten, “always so ready for me like the good girl you are. Even if I couldn’t feel how wet for me you are, I’d be able to tell from those sounds your pussy is making around my fingers.” 

You could only whimper at his words and grasp onto his shoulders as he curled and scissored his fingers, stretching your walls in the most intoxicating way. Your legs began to tremble as his other hand shot out and gave you a firm smack on your ass.

“Put your foot up here, bunny.” his fingers continued to work inside you as you placed your foot on his chair next to his leg. Your head fell back as he was now able to slide another finger inside you and reach even deeper than before, brushing against your sweet spot with every movement of his wrist. 

“Fu-, Kenma, fuck. Oh god.” Your words were failing you as he continued to pump his fingers inside of you, his palm now pressing against your clit as your fingers dug into his shoulders. He groaned at the feeling, dipping his head down to kiss your inner thigh. You were his and only he could ever make you feel this good, you both knew it.

“I want you to cum on my fingers, now.” Then his teeth were nipping at your inner thigh as he pressed his fingers against your g spot. Kenma watched as your orgasm consumed you, your hanging out the side of your mouth and your eyes closed as the ecstasy ran though your body. 

His cock was throbbing unbearably now, his hand reaching down to stroke himself as he felt your walls continue to clench around his fingers that were still moving inside you, prolonging your orgasm as much as he could. He wasn’t done with you just yet.

Before you had a chance to come down from your orgasm, he was removing his digits from your greedy cunt, your juices coating his hand. Your eyes were heavy as you watched him bring the hand to his mouth so that he could lap at your juices.

“You taste amazing, bunny,” he licked some more of your release off his fingers as you brought your foot back down to the ground, your legs unsteady, “no one else will ever get to taste you, you’re all mine.” You were his, you always had been, you both knew it.

“All yours, Kenma. Forever.” you whispered, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek. He leaned into it, pressing a kiss to your wrist. His heart swelled at your words, he’d never wanted you more than he did right now. 

“Turn around for me, hands behind your back.” You hesitated for a second, searching his eyes for any hint of what he had planned. Unable to find anything you turned and did as he said. You heard shuffling before you felt something being tied around your wrists, securing them in place behind your back.

“Wha-” 

Before you could ask what he’d used to tie your wrists, you were spun around and pulled into Kenma’s lap, a knee falling on either side of his thighs. His hands reached out to steady you as you were unable to use your hands to stop you from falling. 

His face was just inches from yours. You could see your breath moving the hairs that fell on his forehead, pushing them out of his eyes as they peered up at your disheveled state. His hand came up to brush some of your own hairs out of your face, tucking them behind your ear. He took your chin between his thumb and index finger, bringing you even closer to him.

“Do you have any idea how crazy you make me, Bunny?” then warm lips were on your throat as his hands slipped beneath his shirt you were wearing, trailing his fingers over your stomach and under your breasts before settling on your thighs. You shivered under his touch, your arousal beginning to coil in your stomach again. You whimpered as you pulled at your restraints -that you now realised must’ve been some kind of spare cord from his computer- wanting to touch him. 

You could feel his cock pressing against your entrance, your juices coating his tip so that he’d be able to slip inside you so easily.

“Please, Kenma. I-I need you.” You grind down onto him, needing him to fill you.

He let out a groan, his hips coming up to meet yours so that just the head of cock was inside you. He was teasing you, finally getting his own back for how you’d snuck up on him earlier. You tried desperately to sink down onto him but his grip on your hips stopped you. It was driving you mad.

Every nerve in your body felt like it was on fire, there was no one who could drive you crazy like him and he knew it.

Removing a hand from your hip, he reached around your back before grabbing a fist full of your hair and giving it yank, making your head fall back so that your throat was exposed to him. 

You yelped at the pain but it was quickly forgotten as Kenma used your vulnerable state to press a kiss to each of your collar bones, before licking a hot path up the hollow of your throat. You shivered at the feel of his tongue on your skin.

Then he was wrapping his free arm around your back and easing you down into his cock, your jaw hanging loose as he finally filled you in the most delicious way.

“Good girl, take it for me.” And you did. He didn’t give you anytime to get accused to his length before his hands were back on your hips and he was guiding you up and down on his hardened shaft.

The feel of him stretching you had your head swimming as you braced your forehead on his shoulder and began to match his pace. The grip he had on your hips was sure to leave marks, but you didn’t care, you craved his hands on you.

Your moans filled the room as you felt another orgasm building. His lips latched onto your neck as he angled his hips to a new position that allowed his cock to hit a spot inside you as stars danced across your vision.

“Kenma, I’m close, I’m so close, please.” 

He knew you were, he could feel your walls beginning to clamp around him, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer either. 

His thrusts became sloppy as a thin sheen of sweat coated the both of you. His hand grasped your chin and pulled your face to his, needing to feel your lips on his. Your breaths mingled as your stomach tightened once again.

“Cum for me, bunny. Cum on my cock like a good girl.” he whispered against your lips as his arms wrapped around your waist, stilling your movements. He picked up his pace, giving a few more hard thrust inside your sopping pussy, feeling your body seize up in his hold as another orgasm ripped through you.

“Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou.” was all you could say as you were lost to the ecstasy that flowed through your body. It had your eyes squeezing shut and your toes curling as you rode it out. 

Kenma followed not long after, his teeth latching onto your shoulder as his warm cum coated your walls. His breathing was heavy as you sank into his chest, his now limp cock falling out of you. 

You felt empty for a second before warm lips were placed on your forehead, his hand coming up to brush your hair from your sweaty forehead. He reached around and removed the makeshift restraint from your wrists, placing a soft kiss to the raw skin on each one.

“That was...” you started, unable to find the words.

“Mind blowing?” He muttered into your hair, his voice sleepy. He shifted you in his arms, picking you so he could carry you to the bedroom.

You peaked up at him through your lashes and he gave you one of his private smiles. It made your heart squeeze. He shared so much of himself with you that no one else got to see and it made you unbelievably happy.

Sighing with content, you looked over his shoulder at where he’d just fucked you and you froze in his grasp.

“Um, Kenma...”

He stopped in the doorway. “What is it, bunny?”

You could only nod your head towards the gaming set up and the bright green mute button that you knew should’ve been red if it was on mute.

He turned his head to see what you were referring to. When he realised what you meant, his whole body tensed.

“Oh fuck.”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

Yeah, so i got a little bit carried away with this request and i’m not sorry. I can’t even begin to describe how much fun i had writing this. I live for soft dom Kenma!! - Vixen

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Drive By ~ part 3

A/n: HELLO I FINALLY DID IT!! This part was hard until I finally rediscovered a few songs that FUELED this part (namely “Falling” by Harry Styles and “Far Away” by Nickelback) and then I managed to finish it! Hope you guys liked it :)

Warnings: Some depressive tendencies (distancing, slight disassociation, etc.). Internalized homophobia. Demonizing of soulmates. Bigoted opinions (Luke and Reggie make fun of them)

Word Count: 5800+

MASTERLIST

Luke and Reggie hadn't been the same since seeing Y/n again, but in very different ways.

Whatever Luke was on, it could only be described as overcompensating. His energy was higher than ever, and he could never quite sit still. His voice was louder, and he talked more. He never stopped talking. It stopped making sense after a while, but Julie and Alex were too worried to stop him. When they tried, his face went blank and his shoulders seemed to slouch and he stopped dead. It was like he'd been slapped... There was a sort of distance in the way he looked at everyone, and talked, and even engaged. He didn't even really process the whole shebang with Caleb, he just stuck very close to Reggie.

And then there was Reggie. He was already kind of off to begin with. He was smart, but he tended to zone out sometimes, and when he tuned back in he'd missed something important and was super lost as to what was happening. Or, someone would say something and he would get the wrong meaning, like the context of the situation had gone just over his head. It was adorable above anything else, and the boys loved to gently tease him about it... but now it wasn't something light hearted and funny. He did a lot of sitting and staring off into space and being silent, and it was very much not like him at all. Usually when he got upset all one had to do was talk to him about one of the things he really loved, but even that was a dead end conversation these days.

Julie, Flynn, and even Alex were all completely lost on what to do with either boy. They still responded when spoken to, and if they had to pitch in they did. Luke still wrote songs and Reggie still hung out with Ray and had Carlos' back and Luke still visited his parents and they both still performed. Luke still seemed to be there when Julie gave "Unsaid Emily" to Luke's parents. They were both still THERE when they were needed, it was just in the little hours. In the small moments, they were... far away. They looked through people and seemed to drift far too much. They were spiraling in a very hidden sort of way and no one knew how to even begin to help.

It was a relief at the end of the day that they could take comfort in each other. Neither had to talk about it, so still no one knew that Y/n and Reggie - and also maybe Luke and Reggie as well - were soulmates. It was written off as Reggie and Y/n being best friends. The two had always understood each other better than the others did. They had soft conversations and secret jokes that lead to exchanged looks no one could quite catch up on. Losing Y/n had been as much a weight on Reggie as it had on Luke. It had been the most clear in those last days. Luke could see the unsettled, unfinished business resting in Reggie's eyes. It had been the same look Luke had seen in his own eyes after the argument with his parents. Every day he hadn't gone back, and when Julie had called him from the dead and he'd gone home and felt it in his very bones. He saw that look, that feeling, in Reggie clearly. Which made sense, considering that Reggie and Y/n had ended in an argument the same way Luke and Y/n had. The pair had never really recovered after that last argument. Reggie had been the one to encourage Luke to let it go when Luke's tattoo had gone grey... and now it was all a mess.

Reggie understood the mix of joy and pain that Luke felt when he'd seen Y/n. Had realized that Y/n had died around when they did. That he was still their age, a ghost just like them, and within reach... theoretically. That's where the bitter came in.

It was nighttime that was the biggest relief.

Luke and Reggie spent most of it cuddling, clinging to each other like they did when they were kids. That night, both of them were having a hard time sleeping as was usual of recent. Ghosts didn't really have to sleep, but they did get physically exhausted every once in a while. Usually a good sit down with a side of relaxation would be enough, but sleeping lessened the overwhelming amount of down time the boys found themselves in, with no one else to talk to but Julie and nothing else to do but sit around and write music, and nothing else to think about than all the mistakes they'd made and the people they'd lost and the things they'd left behind. When one's mind ran that quickly, sleep would have been a relief. Except that a racing mind rarely if ever allowed one to rest, especially if it wasn't required.

So they stayed awake and they talked and they let the time pass as quickly as possible.

"Do you really think you could still fit in the kid swings?" Luke giggled, nose scrunched in that adorable way that always made Reggie's heart race.

"Oh absolutely," Reggie responded with a warm smile of his own. His insides always warmed in these moments, despite how cold he'd felt since seeing Y/n again. Luke seemed to make that connection Reggie lost feel... whole again. Like the thing that had broken in him since losing Y/n was just about fixed. Y/n really had meant a lot to Reggie, and as amazing as Alex and Flynn and Julie were and how important they all were to him, Luke was just different.

A soft breath escaped between Luke's lips then, and his large, green, sparkly eyes found Reggie's. "Thank you Reggie. I don't think I've really laughed since-" His smile faltered. "In a while." His forehead pressed to Reggie's shoulder. "You're my best friend, Reg. I hope you know."

Reggie hummed. "Yeah sure." He noticed the way Luke's eyes zoned out again, getting duller as they zoomed in on the freckles across Reggie's neck and arms. "You okay, Lu?"

For the first time since being asked that question multiple times every day by all of his other friends, Luke was honest. "No." His voice was suddenly very broken.

There was a mixed feeling about this whole thing. Reggie understood Luke perfectly, and how sideways this whole situation was. He knew nothing could make it better, or ease the pain. Nothing but time, if even that. This didn't stop Reggie from WANTING to help though. To ease that pain, and lessen it. To make Luke feel better. All he could do was offer himself, knowing how much it just wouldn't be enough.

"Come here." Reggie opened his arms and Luke rolled onto his side so their bodies were pressed together. Luke's shoulder nestled under one of Reggie's collar bones; Luke's head pressed into Reggie's neck. He didn't mean to, but Luke was warm and he wanted so desperately to say something that when his mouth opened... "I'm sorry I'm not him."

Luke's head moved back, his shoulder pressing more into Reggie's chest as their eyes locked. "What does that mean?" Luke's head tilted, eyebrows dipping in silent accusation. No, not accusation. Worry.

Reggie's eyes jerked to the side. "I just... I wish I could give you some closure. Or just talk to him. Or just have him back. I wish I could actually help, instead of just laying here every night and settling with just distracting you." He shrugged.

One of Luke's hand rose to hold the side of Reggie's face, maneuvering it so they were forced to look at each other again. "Reggie, you're enough. Just you. You've always been enough, you have to know that." His eyes were so sincere... They were so bright and honest and earnest.

What else was Reggie to do but believe him?

Suddenly there was a warmth where Luke's shoulder touched Reggie's chest. It was that moment both boys realized two things. First, it was the same shoulder that Y/n had touched the night the two boys had met. Second, Reggie's collar had fallen down, pushed aside in all the squirming around so the same spot Y/n had touched the night they'd had that special heart to heart was exposed, pressed to Luke's shoulders. What followed next was a completely new realization. Their soulmate marks were touching, skin to skin, and there was a distinct, familiar feeling because of it. A tingling. The same tingling both boys had felt anytime Y/n had touched their soulmate mark. The same feeling they'd gotten the night they'd received those special marks. The two nights that had become two of three nights that had changed everything. Just as it was all about to change again.

Reggie jerked away very suddenly. He scrambled to his feet and then suddenly disappeared. Luke was a second slower, just behind him. Too late to stop him. He scrambled after Reggie though, appearing on the floor rather than in the loft where they'd been before. Just in time to see Reggie tripping over himself to get to the mirror in the bathroom. Luke followed, just in time to see Reggie yank down his shirt to reveal-

Two roses, stems crossed over the other like an 'x'. Just black ink outline, like a coloring page before it's been colored in. The same exact rose that had been on Luke's shoulder and Reggie's neck, but two this time. The same roses that had been on Y/n's palm the night he'd given Reggie a soul mark as he had given Luke one.

Luke turned his body, showing his shoulder in the mirror as well.

The same two roses in the same exact fashion showed on his shoulder.

Reaching out, Luke pulled Reggie's shoulder so they were facing each other. "Reggie... what the hell?" He was even more nervous when Reggie looked back with eyes that had answers. Answers Luke was worried he might very much not want to know.

-

"What are you doing?"

The small boy looked up to see another small boy. Both of them had green eyes and brown hair - that was the first notice. "I'm playing guitar," the second small boy answered the first.

"No you're not," the first argued. "That's not a guitar. It's a- a- well, its a stick with string tied to it is what it is. And it has too many strings at that!"

The second boy hid the stick behind his back, his chubby face screwing up in anger. It was like a pouting puppy, and the first small boy had to admit it was... kind of adorable. "It IS a guitar," the adorable boy huffed. "What do you know about guitars anyway."

A smile adorned the face of the first boy. "My mom has one. She said I could have it one day."

The adorable boy tilted his head. "Well I guess you're lucky then."

The first boy laughed. "Would you like to play it some day?" The adorable looked shocked, and the first boy smiled even wider. "Thought so. What's your name?"

"Luke," the adorable boy answered. "Yours?"

"Reginald. I... don't like it though." Reginald scrunched his nose, shaking his head.

Luke nodded. "What about a sort of nickname then? Something you like more." Reginald sat next to Luke, and the not-guitar-actually-a-stick was abandoned in favor of the conversation. "There's all sort of odd, funny ones. Like um, Gin."

"That's even worse," Reginald complained.

Luke giggled. "Uh, how about Ginny?" Reginald only had to glare for Luke to rush out, "Okay okay okay, HUGE no on that then. I suppose... well you could be totally boring and go with Reggie."

"What's wrong about boring?" Reginald asked immediately. "You need a little bit of it to make everything else interesting." As Luke went to respond, Reginald continued, "Plus, look who's talking! Luke is the most normal name I've ever heard."

"It's short for Lukas," Luke defended.

"Even worse!" Reginald declared. "Why go with Luke? That's the most obvious nickname for Lucas!"

Luke nodded. "Yeah, but my name is spelled Lukas with a K. So it's cool."

After a second, Reginald nodded. "You can call me Ginny if I can call you Kas."

That made Luke bust up laughing. "You can call me Kas all you want. It's a fun nickname I think."

"I think I'll stick to Reggie though," Reggie decided.

Another nod from Luke. "That's fair." He hesitated a moment. "Wanna be friends?"

A grin like no other took Reggie's face, and Luke found his insides warm up and soften. "Absolutely."

-

Luke's mind was reeling.

Reggie was worrying. Exceedingly.

"Are you mad at me?" Reggie had never been known for holding his emotions in, and really neither had Luke.

Which is why it was no surprise when the guitarist suddenly looked up, eyes wide with surprise and expression open and honest. "Why would I be mad at you?"

For second, Reggie didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to explain the emotions in his chest that hurt so much. But then he looked into Luke's eyes, and the words came on their own. "I know things haven't been easy for you when it comes to mixing band members and romance. Or when it comes to soulmates." He shrugged. "It doesn't help that - I mean, we've changed a lot, and being with Julie has taught us so much. We've learned to accept a lot about ourselves, and we're lucky for that. But we were still born and raised in the 90's. And back then, soulmates were... bad."

Immediately, Luke sighed. Reggie realized it was in relief. "I feel like I'm behind. Like I didn't leave those fears behind when he got brought back. I still feel like... sometimes I still feel like loving Y/n is wrong. Like I need to keep it a secret and hide it away and push it down. I got so scared when Julie found about my soulmate mark - and then was so surprised when she was so casual about it. I still expect her to snap at me, or be secretly bitter that I'm asexual, or attracted to men. I don't know." he shook his head, sighing again. His shoulders sagged, and Reggie realized that he must feel so relieved to have lost whatever huge amount of stress he was carrying this entire time keeping that inside. "Does it make me a bad person? To flinch away from things like that? It's not that I hate it, I just-" He was obviously struggling.

Sitting down next to Luke, Reggie placed his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Luke you were conditioned from a kid to hate the things about yourself that are most important to you. Things that are ingrained in your coding." He chuckled, and Luke smiled. "Hell, I think even people who were born nowaday still struggle with it sometimes. It's programming. Subconscious. Your emotions don't make you - the way you react to them do."

At that, Luke finally completely relaxed, resting his head on Reggie's shoulder. "Do you ever realize that the only reason people back then demonized soulmates so much is just because it was one less thing they could control? Like, people back then really cared about power so much. Power over people specifically. Like I remember that week that our school did a campaign for fighting against soulmates-"

Reggie gasped. "Oh my god I remember that! They said it was brainwashing. Wasn't it like... like I remember it was so cool for a while, but then people of the same gender started to become soulmates and everyone lost their minds."

"Men and women balance each other out; same sex attraction is an easy way out and ultimately cheats people who deserve better," Luke mocked, his voice snapping and bitter. "This just proves that soulmates are of the devil!"

Reggie busted up laughing. "Don't remind me of Mrs. Kyde-" He snorted, leaning into Luke more, his face light up with a smile.

Luke shook his head. "People are so weird. Literally what does who anyone loves or marries or whatever have anything to do with anyone not involved in that relationship? You don't like the fact that I'm into men? Fine! Go be straight somewhere else." He rolled his eyes. "I hate thinking about how afraid I used to be. Of people finding out about Y/n and me. GOD we were so happy. And the way people treated him..." Suddenly the mood dropped, and Luke raised his hand to wipe away a tear. He scoffed softly. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry for feeling things, Luke," Reggie reassured, raising his arm to wrap around Luke's shoulders and pull both of their bodies closer together.

Turning his head to thank Reggie, Luke stopped short when he then realized how close they were. "You know," he said softly. "It's so weird to realize you're my soulmate too." He smiled though, so Reggie didn't panic as much as he would have normally. "I mean, you were really right there from the beginning. We met in middle school. I was like. Tiny." Reggie giggled and both of them were suddenly smiling again. "You were there for all my worst phases."

Reggie groaned. "God you were my sexual awakening."

"I wasn't," Luke gasped, eyes wide.

"You were." Reggie laughed again, shaking his head. "I was CRUSHED when you started dating Alex. And then you two were so happy, and I saw how hard it was. Saw you guys figure that out, and then kind of devolve into just being friends. And then we started the band, and I realized it was just so much easier to stay friends with you."

"We took ages to figure that out," Luke recalled. "I don't think we ever really figure out personal space again."

Reggie nodded. "And then Y/n came along and I figured I could just jam with being friends. I was so used to it at that point, and there were so many things to be distracted by. Our band was gaining traction and people were talking to us. To me. You two were so happy, and it was a little dangerous and fun and I was so relieved that I hadn't done anything, because I was watching soulmates interact properly and it was everything I ever wanted. I was glad I hadn't gotten between that." His smile faded. "And then..."

"And then you and Y/n," Luke offered. Reggie nodded. After a few seconds of silence, Luke asked, "So what do we do now?"

Shrugging, Reggie looked back at Luke. "What do you want to do?"

Luke thought about that for a second. "Well I know how happy I was with Y/n, and now the stupid things I was worried about before just won't be a problem. No one can see us unless we perform, and the person who can always sees us doesn't care. We don't have to worry like Y/n and I did. And maybe we'll see Y/n again. But we might not, and even if we do it won't mean things are going to go back to what they were. Do you... like him?" Reggie hesitated, then nodded. "Do you like me?" With less hesitation came another nod. "Can I... try something?" Yet another nod, this time with no hesitation.

His heart racing, Luke took a leap of faith. He knew himself at this point. Knew that there was only really one way to figure out his emotions. If he tried to figure it out via analysis, he'd eventually over think it until nothing made sense and he was just more confused. So he did something he knew would work. He softly grabbed Reggie's face and pulled his best friend to him until they were kissing.

When their lips touched, something seemed to unlock in Reggie. He shuddered and Luke leaned back immediately, eyes wide with nervousness. But then he saw the way that Reggie leaned in after him and he felt his heart swell and his insides warm. Reggie looked at him, unsure, but then seemingly at the same time they both grabbed each other, meeting for a passionate kiss that set them both on fire.

All either of them could think for a while was... Finally.

-

Luke was so happy to see Y/n getting along so well with his friends. They had met only an hour ago and Alex and Y/n had already bonded over being attracted to men. Bobby was standing back a bit, unsure how to approach Y/n and the situation implied between this new boy and Luke. Bobby didn't mind it, he knew about Alex after all. It had just surprised him because he didn't know about Luke. On top of that, he DID very much know about Y/n and his reputation, so he didn't know what to do with this person that seemed so different than the one Bobby had heard about, being seemingly romantically involved with a dude who Bobby had been sure was straight until today. Reggie and Y/n had distracted from Bobby's awkwardness by hitting it off right out of the gate with how comfortable they were with physical affection, as well as the fact that Y/n just seemed to be so quickly aware of and good with Reggie's little odd ways of doing things that were always so different than how most other people did them. Y/n was extremely insightful, and a fast learner and those two skills came in handy now.

In fact, Y/n and Reggie were getting along so well that Alex and Bobby had settled by Luke. A calm, warm air had settled in the room just like it always did when they were all together. The studio attached to Bobby's house had become like a second home for the three boys. Luke hoped that would carry to Y/n to.

After introductions, Y/n stayed for a little band practice, grinning from ear to ear as he clapped between songs. It seemed to fuel Luke, which only fueled the others. Luke's energy had always been contagious to his best friends, and now was no different. It only took one song for Bobby to warm up to the surprises he'd had tonight and this stranger he wasn't sure what exactly to do with. By the end of it, Y/n was shouting so loud Luke had to come over and gently remind him it was getting late and people might handle a band playing, but they definitely would refuse to tolerate straight up screaming. When the sun began to set, they all headed out to sit on Bobby's roof and watch the sun set as they talked about that day's practice just like they always did. Except, instead of the usual criticism and praises and general discussion, they turned to Y/n to get an third person opinion. Their mistake too, because Y/n grabbed the opportunity immediately to drown them all in praise, sparing no second or word to tell them how amazing they were and how much he loved their music.

"You play at all?" Bobby asked as Y/n began to calm down, blushing as he got self conscious at how long he'd been talking.

Thankful for Bobby sensing his rising awkwardness and distracting him from it, Y/n shot the rhythm guitarist a warm smile. "My older sister did." His smile faltered and the other boys exchanged looks before Reggie - who knew enough about siblings to recognize when someone mentioned something about them they didn't want pressed - shook his head in a firm no.

Luke took that to heart - he always trusted Reggie's instincts - and let it go. "So you've been around music a lot then. Anything you've especially taken to? Favorite band?"

Y/n smirked, but none of them were fast enough to stop him from saying, "You guys of course." The others groaned, but Luke's eyes only widened and he blushed. Y/n winked.

Eventually everyone had to go to bed. Alex, Luke, and Reggie had stayed here hundreds of times easy, but Y/n was hesitant to join them tonight. When Bobby encouraged it, finally he gave in and curled up with Luke on the couch. The first to fall asleep - to everyone's surprise - was Y/n. Bobby, who always slept in the studio when the boys stayed over, smiled at Luke. "So you found your soulmate."

That of course made Luke just beam with joy. "Yeah." Y/n had fallen asleep on Luke's chest and it was the most comfortable Luke had ever been in his light. He loved the weight of Y/n on him, reminding him every single second that this was real. "It's everything I thought it was going to be," he mused dreamily. "He just fits, like a puzzle piece. I totally thought I had everything figured out and then this person drops into the middle of my life and suddenly there's a whole other half of this picture I was sure I'd finished a long time ago..." He shook his head. "It's great."

Reggie chuckled. "So great you took, what, a month and a half to tell us about him?"

Luckily Y/n was a heavy sleeper, because if he hadn't been Luke would have woken him up with how hard he flinched. "I just didn't know how you guys would have reacted. Y/n kind of has a reputation, and I don't care obviously, but he's been through a lot of shit with people who do care and if you guys hadn't all gotten along it would have been the worst." Alex went to say something and Luke rushed to add, "And it's not that I thought you guys were dicks or anything. I just had this... fear, anyway. I mean, I've been standing by the fact that I don't really like anyone for a while and that's why most things like this haven't worked out, and it's still weird and complicated but Y/n is helping me a LOT to figure out that some attractions are different than others and..." He sighed, eyes purposefully looking away from Alex.

Sensing the core of Luke's worry, Alex reached over and touched Luke's shoulder, a genuine smile on his face. "Luke, I'm happy for you. I'm glad you figured out all the stuff you were struggling so much with back then and that you can be happy now." There was an unspoken, 'even if it's not with me' that he didn't have to say.

After that, the conversation died pretty quickly, and Bobby and Alex went to sleep too.

"Do you still think we'll be able to cuddle and stuff?" Reggie asked softly, looking up from where he lay.

Rolling his eyes, Luke answered, "Of course Reggie. The only thing that's going to change is that I might be a little less needy. I'll always be your Kas."

That made Reggie settle more, smiling to himself. There was something about thinking of Luke as HIS that made butterflies flutter in his stomach. "Good because I might've had to fight your boyfriend if that wasn't the case."

Luke chuckled. "Go to bed, Gee." After all those years, Luke had finally come up with his own, original nickname for Reggie that didn't sound stupid, and they both loved it.

Getting more comfortable, Reggie decided to do just that, right after one final, "Goodnight, Kas."

A sleepy, "Goodnight, Gee," came from Luke as they both finally drifted into sleep along with the others.

-

Things had been complicated, but that had been the case for far too long now, and Reggie and Luke had done everything in their power to make it as simple as possible. With the threat of being erased from existence completely looming over their heads, and no way to mend things between them and Y/n, now was as good a time as ever to let go of the past and hold on to the little time they had now. And they made it work. Despite the fear. Despite the pain. Despite once again losing all of the things that could have been and that they so wanted to be, what they did have was their soulmate mark, and that MEANT something. For now, they'd be fine with that.

Tonight was supposed to be it. They'd said their goodbyes and lined up the performance up so the boys could pass on. But they weren't showing up, and Julie Molina knew her boys well. Too well to think they'd left her again, so that meant two things. They were doubled over in pain somewhere, too incapacitated to play. Or... they were already gone. It had been too late and they'd been destroyed Julie had to do this performance completely by herself. Performing after Panic at the Disco, in one of the most sought after local gigs. In a packed auditorium.

In that moment, Julie did the only thing she knew how to. She went to her mom for help.

Rose Molina didn't show up, but someone did. A boy, maybe one or two years older than him. He was completely decked in white. Just jeans a t-shirt and everyday shoes, except he didn't have even a speck of dust or shirt on him. He was so clean that under the moonlight in the dark, dim alleyway, the boy seemed to glow. He smiled to her and extended his arm, and in his hand was a single flower.

A Dahlia.

She took it, her eyes welling with tears. She'd asked for a sign, and a boy as close to angelic as one could get without causing a scene had shown up to give her the flower that had always been her mother's favorite. He turned around and began to walk away but she rushed after him, reaching to catch his arm. She gasped when her hand went right through him. He turned as if he felt it, that soft, warm smile still on his face.

"Who are you?" She asked with a voice filled with awe.

He seemed to get sheepish. "I'm not an angel, if that's that you're thinking."

"Then what are you?" Julie asked, stepping closer.

For a second, he just thought. "A friend," is what he gave her. "When you need me most, I'll be there. I can promise that." And then he rose a single hand and waved at her before disappearing in a fashion that she had seen more than plenty of times with the boys.

After, when she tried to recall anything special about the boy other than his pristine, perfectly clean white clothes, she remembered few things. She'd been too caught up in the moment that was already packed with stress and heavy emotion and shock to think about anything else. It wasn't until after, when the boys were better and Luke had grabbed Reggie's face and kissed him in pure relief that she thought about the boy again. It wasn't much longer later - just later that night - but that had brought him into her mind was a surprise. For the first time in a long time, Julie was seeing Luke without sleeves, and as he turned to grasp his boyfriend in the heat of the moment, Julie saw his soulmate mark. Except now, it was a little different. It had two roses instead of one.

It was the exact sane mark that had been on the boy in the white clothes' hand as he waved goodbye to her.

She rushed to him touching his shoulder with wide eyes. "Luke, your soulmate mark..."

Reggie got excited, unbuttoning his shirt a little to show the matching one he had on his upper chest. "We're soulmates, Julie. Didn't we tell you that?"

"Well yeah," Julie dismissed, looking between the to marks that not only matched each others' but also the one from earlier that had been on the mystery boy's hand. "But... it changed."

Luke and Reggie looked at each other and decided silently in that moment that they couldn't handle it. Not right now. Not on top of everything else. They couldn't talk about Y/n. So Luke told a half truth. "It changed."

Immediately Julie glared at Luke. "This didn't change Luke, it doubled. Soulmate marks don't do that. They fade at best. There's been three cases total in all of the history of visible soulmate marks that completely disappeared - it's extremely rare for them to even make room for new marks, let alone create a whole new one that looks that similar to the last one you had there." Her face relaxed. "You guys are both soulmates with Y/n."

Reggie sighed, his happiness and relief melting for despair. "Yeah." He shook his head. "But can we please not talk about that? We just barely didn't completely die, and-"

"But I know where to find him," Julie rushed urgently. The two boys froze.

"What?" Luke choked out.

Julie took off, out of the room and returning back again with the Dahlia she'd received from who she now knew to be Y/n. She knew that the boys had seen him when they'd been at Bobby's house, but at the time she hadn't known who to look for and had missed him. She had gotten a description of him though here and there a few times, and from what she knew, this had to be him. If anything, the mark was enough. She didn't know why it hadn't hit her the second she'd seen the two roses, so very similar to Luke's one she'd seen before, right in the place that she knew Y/n's mark to be. Pushing that out of her mind now, she held up the flower to the boys. "When I thought you guys were gone, I went into the alley and I asked my mom to-" her voice got suddenly think with emotion and she cleared her throat, shaking her head. "I asked for a sign. Anything to let me know she was still here and watching me. That she was like you guys, or maybe somewhere else. Helping. And then Y/n showed up with THIS and told me he was a friend and that I could call on him anytime I needed him. That he would be there for me."

Luke ran a hand through his hair. "How did you know it was him?" His voice was strained, but the message still came across.

"He waved at me before he disappeared. He had the same roses on his palm, that you two do. We can find him! We can finally fix what happened all those years ago!" She grinned, her smile making the room brighter. "You guys can FINALLY go and get your man!"

Reggie and Luke looked at each other again, but this time their expressions were unreadable. When they turned back to look at Julie, she thought they were about to have a whole new purpose. Something GOOD that actually meant something. Not struggling for success, or running from life threatening danger, but something purely good that would finally help two of her four closest friends find peace with the one thing they regretted most about their lives before. Then Reggie spoke, only one word. One word that made less sense than anything Julie had heard in her entire life.

Reginald Peters opened his mouth and with complete conviction told her, "No."

[the28thofseptemberr]

for the past few months i’ve unfortunately been reading and writing less, so to try to motivate and push myself back into reading and writing fics i’m doing this fic rec & recap thingy!! i’ve seen a lot of people on my dash do something similar and i thought it would be fun, although sadly the list is quite short :/

here are the fics i’ve read (and loved) and the fics i’ve written this month!

read

•° — breakable heaven by @daggerandrose / amomentoflove  44.5k | E | hades/persephone au

“What do you think?” Louis gets captured by Harry’s green eyes, unable to look away or even take a breath.

“I think you’re the most magnificent creature I’ve ever met.”

“You must not have met many creatures then.”

Harry’s eyes glance downward to Louis’ lips and his tongue darts out to wet his own. “None like you.”

note: this one was AMAZING. it contained literally everything i want in a fic and was just so so good, i love dark harry who is a softie for louis and this ticked all the boxes for me, i couldn’t recommend this one more :)

•° — yesterday came suddenly by @falsegoodnight 48.4k | E | assassin au

They don’t talk about it. The way Harry deflects any and all questions about his past and Louis pretends he isn’t confused or hurt by it. The way Harry keeps a distance between them and Louis acts like he can’t see it creating a wall between them. The way Harry doesn’t always answer honestly and Louis goes along with it as if he can’t tell. They don’t talk about it.

Harry knows Louis feels like he doesn’t know him well enough, and it pains him. It pains him every time Louis gets that look on his face that’s a mixture of disappointment, frustration, and confusion. And sometimes, self-blame. It pains him because Louis is wrong.

Because even though there is a lot Louis doesn’t know about him, there is so much that he does. He knows what Harry is like at his most vulnerable: curled up on this bed with him in the dark where it’s safest. He knows Harry in a way no one else does.

-

Or the one where Harry, the deadliest member of the NYC assassins’ guild, is forced to face a seemingly impossible task in hopes of finally leaving the underground behind for good, but when ghosts from the past come back to haunt him, escaping the darkness becomes that much harder.

note: oh my god this was incredible, it was fluffy and angsty and action-packed in all the right places and a darker fic like this might not be for everyone but it was perfect for me (i love john wick so i was so excited to read this one!!)

•° — make my wish come true by @soldouthaz 2.8k | M | holiday fic

The taste of Christmas cookies fresh out of the oven and peppermint hot chocolate is still heavy on his tongue. Harry’s sweater provides some warmth and it still smells of him from before he left for his internship two weeks ago, but it’s nowhere near the feeling of his arms wrapped around him. Louis shivers despite the blankets.

+

part iii of holiday drabbles

note: ahh this one was adorable! just super super cute and sweet and made me feel so warm and happy <3

•° — things unsaid by @londonderrytea / ladylondonderry 4.4k | G | soulmates au

"That chunky oversized sweater is like a clown outfit made for winter."

It feels like time slows down.

Those words echo in his mind, familiar. Why are they familiar? The— the sweater he saw last week. The one with all the knit squares.

The train slows to a stop and Louis just— he doesn’t move. He feels frozen in place as people surge around him. Suddenly everyone is moving too fast and then just as suddenly the car is near empty, taking off again.

The man is gone.

His soulmate is gone.

Or, where you have a tattoo of the first thought your soulmate has when they see you.

note: this one was so cute and humorous and fun!! i smiled like an idiot the whole time i read this

•° — practice in pencil, seal it in pen by @loubellies 16.4k | E | friends to lovers

Prompt 174: AU where drunk Harry lifts Louis up after someone says “bottoms up”. Louis blushes at Harry’s antics, flustered that his best friend knew him more than he thought. Friends to lovers with a happy ending please

or Harry is in love with Louis but he doesn't know.

note: i am such a sucker for friends to lovers + oblivious harry and louis, plus jealous harry and we got to see both povs and see the mutual pining which is just perfection *chef kiss*

•° — (quiet like a fight) fingers laced together by @letthemkissyou / decadent 17.4k | M | hybrid!louis

It’s a thin hope, frail and as thin as the silver strands of a spider web, desperate in the way Louis keeps clinging onto it even when he’s already expecting and preparing for the worst. Maybe one day, he’ll have a home, a place where he can feel safe and sound, tucked away safely from the world that has the tendency to treat him horribly and then even worse, that maybe there will be someone in his life who cares for him, even if in the smallest of ways, and does not just use him for whatever they tend to need at the moment.

Or, the one where Harry is gifted a hybrid and it's a whole new world for the both of them.

note: this is beautifully written and just really stunning overall :)

re-read

•° — i'll do what it takes to make this fly by literato 4.3k | G | angst with happy ending

How could Harry be so... stupid? So passive and pretending like nothing’s wrong. Of course, something’s wrong. Everything’s wrong. It’s been going on for months since Harry got a promotion and Louis’ not sure if he can take this anymore.

or

an au inspired by Olly Murs' Up featuring Demi Lovato.

note: this is one of my comfort fics!! i’ve read it countless times and i love it, it’s heartbreaking but fluffy

•° — severed by jacinth 5k | M | abo

He would rather have Harry hate him and live, than love him and die.

note: another fic i’ve read many times - one of my go-to’s

my own fics

•° — in this damn world 6.2k | T | wisdom teeth au

louis gets his wisdom teeth removed and harry's there to take care of him through the loopiness of it all. ice cream, cuddles, and adorable goofiness ensues.

•° — chapter two of i’ll love you for a lifetime wip, 6.6k | G | highschool au

[sequel to love me, please?]

harry is the popular boy at school, loved by everyone and enjoying his life. louis is the quiet, shy but unbelievably gorgeous boy who makes a certain curly boy fall deeply in love with him. the only problem is, they've never talked before. so what happens when a frog crushes on a hedgehog?

only, this time the story is told through the eyes of the blue-eyed boy.

aka a larry stylinson high school au

[tmp-jatp]

we keep him alive

a response to this post by @thedeathdeelers

read on AO3

“You’ll have the sorts of abilities very few other ghosts get to have, very few indeed. The kind of abilities only I have the power to grant you. You’ll get to go and complete that unfinished business you left on this earth when you died. Tie up all the loose ends, and all that. And when you finish and your time is up, you’ll come back to me. Do we have a deal?”

“Wh-what’s the catch?” Reggie’s eyes practically glow in the dim light. They’re wide. His face never looks so young as it does whenever he’s scared.

“A clever one, you. In payment for me allowing you to complete that which you never got a chance to do in your time allotted, in payment for borrowed time, you shall serve my needs for a proportional amount of time. I’ll give you enough time to complete all it is you still need to do, don’t worry about that. You’ll just return to me at the end of it.”

“Service like what?” Alex prompts.

“Oh, nevermind that, that’s for later. What you need to consider now is whether this is worth it to you. Do you want to live your dreams? Find love? Find a true, complete family, a home? More than that measly ragtag band of brothers you three formed. Something real and more? Something alive? Is it worth it for you to have all you ever wanted and more, in return for a few short years of afterlife with me? Come on, boys, it’s an offer you can’t refuse.”

Luke, Reggie, and Alex exchange nervous glances. An entire conversation elapses in a moment through their eyes.

Then Luke takes the lead. He reaches his hand out to shake. He grasps it and they shake, solidifying their deal. After Luke, so do Alex and Reggie.

Their wrists sting, and they look down to see a stain across the skin on the inside of each of their wrists: Three equal lines, arranged in a formation where they reach out from the middle to the points of an equilateral triangle. The dark marks are clearly visible even in the lacking light, etched black against their pale and suddenly clammy skin.

“One more thing, boys. When the time comes, if you are touching anyone but each other, they will be brought back as well, to help pay your debt to me. It’s a way I can get my time returned to me at a quicker rate. Because you know, time is valuable.” He laughs. “You probably know that better now than you ever did while you were alive.

“And how will we know when the time comes?” Luke asks.

“You will know.”

“You know, you don’t seem so wise, for the Wise Man. You’re just a broker for the desperate.”

“Do you want to repeat that, Alexander?”

Alex gulps. His jaw stays clenched. All three of them, probably all four of them know that even though he may just be a ‘broker for the desperate’, they were nothing if not desperate.

“You’ve already made your deal with me. Now it’s time for me to fill my part of it, before you fill yours.”

~~~

The time is coming. Luke can feel it. His mark, his stamp, tattoo, brand, whatever, has been pulsing for months, throbbing for weeks, aching for days, searing for hours. At regular intervals, the pain comes over him for an instant. He’s dealt with it the entire time he’s been here, like a second slower heartbeat in his wrist. A constant reminder that every minute they spent here was borrowed. He grimaces and grips his wrist tightly with his opposite hand. Elsewhere, Reggie and Alex surely hiss through their teeth in tandem with Luke.

Julie is there. Julie is always there. As soon as Luke’s muscles aren’t tensed anymore, he digs his nose even deeper into the skin of her neck and they hold each other tight. Neither wants to ever let go, even though they both know a goodbye is inevitable – and fast approaching.

They’re in the studio, because where else would they ever be? It’s a far cry from how it looked six years ago when they first arrived. The walls are plastered with posters advertising Julie and the Phantoms playing at various venues all across America. The plants have been changed out multiple times in the years Luke has “lived” here. Yet some things also always stayed the same: the pink dahlia curtains on the windows and the knitted throw blanket on the couch. This is home.

The others are spending their final moments with those they found during their second chance. They’ll have forever with each other, but only now with these. Willie. Ray. Carlos. Luke doesn’t blame them for spending every last second with those they’ve come to love most. Isn’t that exactly what he’s doing too?

Except-

The others don’t know yet, what Luke did.

“Please, let me take it from them. You said debts can transfer onto others, so they can transfer onto me. I’ll serve triple the time. I’ll do it.”

Luke winces again but he tries to hide it. Julie notices. Julie always notices. She squeezes her arms around his torso once and starts rubbing her hands up and down his back. She would whisper sweet nothings in his ear if only they could trick themselves into believing nothing was something.

He hears her sniffle. Luke leans back, loosening his arms around her waist. Her hair is a mess but his is even worse. Her eyes are shining but she’s doing her best to keep herself together for Luke. As if, if only she were strong enough, she could bear the weight of both their pain. He swipes away a stray tear on her cheek with the pad of his thumb.

They’re grieving prematurely, because they know there’ll be no opportunity after.

Luke’s mark pulses twice, quickly.

A warning.

Time’s almost up.

Luke pulls away from Julie, and she tries to cling to him.

“Please, Luke-”

“It’s time, Julie. I can’t- You know what’ll happen, if- if we stay like this. I can’t.”

She clings harder. “It’s worth it. To me. It’s worth it.” She’s pleading with him, and his heart shatters. She should never have to plead with anyone. She’s Julie Molina. This shouldn’t be happening to her.

“Not to me, it isn’t. I couldn’t live with myself if you came too.”

Three pulses.

“I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t.” Her voice breaks and her lips are curling outwards.

He takes a deep breath in and can feel his own eyes threatening to overflow. At once they pull back together in the center of the room. She digs her face into his chest and he envelopes her in his arms. They hold each other tighter than ever before, and Luke can’t bear the thought of trying to let go again.

Four pulses.

Luke buries his face in the hair on the top of her head and presses his lips to her scalp. She turns her head so her cheek is pressed against him and he squeezes his eyes shut.

“Julie, I need you to listen to me,” Luke murmurs against her head. His voice is muffled, but amid only the sounds of their two hearts beating, it’s impossible to miss. “It’s going to be okay after I leave. You’re going to be okay.”

She shakes her head – whether that’s a denial that he’ll leave or a denial that she’ll be okay, he can’t tell.

Three pulses. It’s a countdown now.

“Yes, you will,” he insists. “I’ll still be here, in you. Just like your mom, Julie. She’s alive in you.”

“That’s different, Luke.”

“It’s no different at all.”

He reaches around behind his back for her hands and finds them, clutching to the fabric of his shirt. Gently he eases her fingers free and grips her hands in his. He brings them back around to be held between them, forcing space to open up between the two.

Two pulses.

“Luke, please,” she pleads again. “Please, no.”

Luke rubs his thumbs over the back of Julie’s knuckles. They’re white with how hard she’s trying to hold to him. She’s always been his anchor, but today she can’t be anymore. He won’t let it happen.

She brings him in one final time and this time they meet at their lips, in a kiss that doesn’t say nearly everything that is left to be said. Luke knows she’s trying to keep him there long enough that the deadline will pass with them together as one. He keeps one hand intertwined with hers down at their waists, but he draws her other hand up so she can caress his face one more time, the way she always liked to do. His own hand rests on top of hers there.

One pulse.

Now or never.

Luke breaks off the kiss and once again Julie has tears escaping her eyes. “Luke, no,” she makes one last bid to stop him or change his mind. “Let me come, too.”

Luke uses their joined hands to push her away as he feels heat begin to build in his wrist. She stumbles and falls backwards onto the sofa, and he takes three large steps backwards.

He meets her eyes just after she swipes at them with her sleeve. “Keep me alive, yeah?”

“Luke!” Julie calls his name in an anguished cry that haunts him from the moment he hears it. It’s worth it to keep her safe.

The heat rises and rises in his wrist, from a searing red to a white-hot all-consuming pain coursing through his every vein. A scream rips from his throat. He keeps moving away even as his vision begins tunneling, anything to keep her from reaching him before he goes.

The fire burns him up from the inside out, feeling like a constant electrocution of the highest current going through every single pore. His vision tunnels more and more, until everything is black.

And then the pain is gone, and it takes a moment for his cry to melt away, too. He opens his eyes – he didn’t know they’d been squeezed shut tight – and sees that dim dark room he hasn’t seen for six years.

“Welcome back.”

~~

The doors to the studio slam open and Julie startles from her stupor trance. Her eyes widen when they land on Reggie and Alex.

“How are you still here?”

“Where is he?” Alex demands.

Julie shakes her head. She wants the anguish back. She wants the grief back. This numbness is too much. “He- he’s gone. He left. I- I thought you two did too.”

Alex storms through the small space, checking behind large furniture and pounding the bathroom door open as if to make sure Julie wasn’t lying.

“We thought we’d be gone, too,” Reggie explains. “We don’t know what happened.”

Alex returns. “He’s not here,” he growls. “We were supposed to go back, it was supposed to be all three of us. Damn bastard took our place!” Alex slams his fist against the wall.

Julie gapes. “He could do that?”

Alex throws his hands up and paces back along the floor. With Alex’s back to them, Reggie answers.

“Maybe? We think so? I don’t know, it wasn’t really clear.”

“So is he just...gone?” Julie doesn’t like how small her voice sounds. Reggie’s face and Alex’s body say everything. Yes.

“So what are we supposed to do now?” Alex poses to the room.

Julie takes a shaky breath. “We keep him alive.”

taglist: @futurearchaeologyprof @beethovensbitxh @ace-bookworm @queenmolina @molinashimbos @star-astro @sunset-sweeerve @bluefirewrites @reggieshamster @blush-and-books @smolfangirl​ @thedeathdeelers @williexmercer @thesunsetcurvephantom @russsianspy @fanfics-she-wrote @pink-flame @angelofarts @chickwiththepurpleguitar @hey-there-juliet @tonightthestarsalign

[tsarisfanfiction]

Needy/Vulnerable Dialogue Prompts:

Please don’t go...

Jeff & Scott

Past and Present

Fandom: Thunderbirds Rating: Teen Genre: Family/Hurt/Comfort Characters: Jeff, Scott

Well ouch, this hurts. I had two muses pipe up for this one, so I ended up combining them because why not?

Needy/Vulnerable Dialogue Prompts

“Please don’t go.”

Once upon a time, large blue eyes, far too big for their face, had welled with tears as his two-and-a-half-year-old son had tugged on his sleeve desperately. Jeff, all packed and ready for a mission in space, but already reluctant to leave when Lucille was due with their second child any day now, had fought an internal battle as he’d knelt down and put a hand in the brown mop of hair Scott sported.

“I have to, Scotty,” he’d said, dragging a grin onto his face and hoping the toddler couldn’t pick up on his inner turmoil. “A man should never give up on his dreams.”

“But… but…” The lower lip quiver was a lethal weapon, and tearful blue eyes had shined bright with moisture that wasn’t yet falling, but threatened it was only a matter of time. “I need you, Daddy.”

“It’s only for a few months,” Jeff had promised. “I need you to be brave for me, okay?”

Scott had sniffled in response, the first tears starting to fall.

“Listen to me, Scotty.” There had been a lump in his throat, and Jeff had swallowed around it. “Very soon, you’re going to be a big brother.”

His son had been told that before; Scott had always been so excited to have a little sibling whenever it was brought up – and indeed was often the one to bring it up. Under Jeff’s hand, Scott’s head had ducked in an acknowledging nod.

“That means you have to be big and brave for them while I’m gone, okay?” he’d coaxed. “Mommy will need your help to look after your little brother or sister when they arrive.”

“I know,” Scott had replied, a little sulkily. “But do you have to go?”

“Yes,” Jeff had sighed, even though big blue eyes still shone with tears and that lower lip was still quivering lethally. “Yes, Scotty, I do.”

When he’d come home, eight months later, baby John was old enough to sit up and watch the world with curious eyes, just as bright as his brother’s but starting to contain just a hint of green inside the baby-blue, and Scott was the most doting big brother Jeff had ever seen.

It had been a bittersweet sight.

He’d left many times since then, sometimes to space, sometimes just mentally, leaving his boys with a husk of a father as his soul tried to patch itself up after being torn in two, but by far the worst had been the sudden, heart-stopping launch of the Zero-X.

Eight years until he’d finally stepped on Earth again, with five grown up sons who didn’t need him anymore. Not after eight years of thinking him dead, adjusting their lives to compensate and, for all intents and purposes, cutting out the parent-shaped holes in their lives and patching them back together with a mix of brothers and friends.

Jeff watched, an outsider in his own family, and mourned for what had been, knowing that the days of small boys with equally small hands but big eyes who needed Dad were long, long gone.

There was nothing to tell him otherwise, after all.

Nothing until Scott came back from a rescue gone wrong, battered and bruised and held together by bandages and the determination of his brothers. A young man or not, a man who needed his father or not, it was Jeff who needed to be there, by his son’s bedside, as his own mother and middle son put Scott back together again. Pain and anaesthetic combined hazed his eldest boy’s eyes, half-lidded at best and more or less unaware of his surroundings.

“He needs rest,” Mom told him, nudging a reluctant Virgil out of the room once they were done and Scott was held together with the security of sutures and hospital grade bandages. “He’ll be out of it for hours, yet.”

There was a pain in her eyes that Jeff knew was reflected in his. After all, grandparent or parent, the pain of seeing the young man in such an awful state twisted a knife in their own hearts. She was right, too, that they should take their own time to rest and recover before Scott was aware enough to need them.

“I’ll be out in a minute,” he promised, cradling limp fingers in his left hand while his bright brushed tufted hair where it stuck up awkwardly from the bandaging around Scott’s head. “I just need a minute more.”

She nodded before trailing out of the room after her middle grandson, leaving Jeff alone with his son.

He didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay by Scott’s side until he was sure he was okay, awake and complaining about being grounded, and every inch the young commander he was. No matter how much it hurt to see his child in such a terrible state.

“Rest up, Scotty,” he murmured, brushing the little tuft of brown hair a few more times. “I’ll see you in a little while.”

His fingers slipped away from the strands, and he reluctantly stood up, lowering the limp fingers to settle on the bed.

They tightened as he tried to pull away, barely a fraction of Scott’s strength, but enough to make Jeff’s heart hitch regardless.

“Please.” Scott’s voice was hoarse and rasping, awful in the same way as nails on a chalkboard. “Don’t go…”

His eyes were more closed than open, their vibrant blue hidden behind too-pale eyelids, but they were looking straight at Jeff through the haze of a man clinging desperately to consciousness as his body slipped further and further away.

“Dad.” The word was split into two syllables, his son not strong enough to say it all at once. “I… need… you…”

Jeff’s hands shook. He’d thought the time of being needed by his sons, especially the eldest ones with the responsibility of the world on their shoulders, was past, but here was Scott, begging for his Dad to stay in the same way he’d done all those years ago as a toddler.

Back then, Jeff had gone anyway, leaving Scott with what at the time had seemed like a reasonable enough request to make of a two-year-old, but had since morphed into something almost unrecognisably self-destructive.

It was John he’d been injured saving.

There was no way, no matter what his mother might have to say on the matter, that Jeff was leaving Scott now. He perched on the edge of the bed once more, cradling the still-limp fingers between his palms and trying not to get too melancholy about how big they were, now.

“I’m here, Scotty,” he promised, stroking long fingers gently. “I’ll stay right here.”

Scott’s lips, swollen and cracked and painful-looking, twitched into a ghost of a smile, and his eyes slid shut.

Jeff stayed exactly where he was, where he should be, holding a vigil over his recovering son.

[insufferablelust]

ok, i know i just requested but i LOVE your writing. spencer is the dominant one, but one night you ask him if you can be in charge. to your surprise he said yes, so you maybe tie him to the bed and blindfold him. you edge him and make him beg. you give him after care, make she he is alright. maybe it ends in some fluff, him saying how you are cute when you take charge.

I swear i always got so excited when i get a request from this special princess right here, anways thank you for requesting ma’am! here’s some sub!spencer for all of us needy babies. As always excuse any errors thank you❤️

WARNINGS : OKAY SMUT- JUST FILTHY PORN OF Sub!Spencer x Dom!Reader, they’re actually both switch, Bondage, Slight Exhibitionism, the use of ‘Miss’, Edging, Short Ice play, Penetrative sex by riding, creampie, um what else.. oh! degradation a bit, and condensation from the reader too :) just some good ole FILTH okay + Cute Spencer :)

It started out as a suggestion you made at the beginning of your relationship, knowing the nature of your relationship, Spencer always had the upper hand when it comes to sexual things even during domestic days where you needed to be disciplined for being a stuck up brat, it’s your speciality after all.

What you suggested was that you would love to take control once in a while, you know one of the only things that you love about being dominated is to relinquish any control and let go, to be taken care of and Spencer is the epitome of the perfect dom.

But because of that very reason, you also want him to feel relaxed and relinquish control, just— to let go for a while, letting you to just take the wheel and dominate him in every way possible. You’ve made that suggestion long time ago, but it keeps circling back to your mind lately, one because Spencer has been taking care of you after an accident on a case, two you can see how frustrated he is with his work— even though you work together, he’s the type that clings onto specific cases like the one he kept talking about, and lastly, it’s just because... You just want to dominate him, to hear him beg, to see him so helpless and needy, to tease him, to edge him, and the list goes on and on that you are convinced that you will get him to submit to you, tonight.

Wrapping your arms around his shoulder from the back of his chair, you pressed a soft kiss on the side of his face as he chuckled softly and tilt his head to see you.

“Hi there, Agent Y/n,” his voice sounded scratchy and deeper today that you can’t help but to imagine how it would sound when he’s begging you to let him cum. Fuck, you cursed yourself for deciding to wear a bright colored pants today.

You rolled your eyes as an answer to his greeting before setting yourself on his lap sideways, thumb still trying to smoothen over the worry lines on his forehead but that doesn’t last long because he reached out to grip your wrist and whispered “Don’t dare roll your eyes at me, you know the damn rules Y/n”

Oh how you love a challenge but this time its going to be your rules not his. You placed your other hand on his before detaching his arms, and leaned down to whisper on his ear, lips barely brushing against the skin. “It’s my rules tonight, we will play by my game my rules and i’m in control.”

The shocked look on his face thats followed with a seductive whimper is enough to give you the affirmation you need to keep going. You tug on his tie, as you look around smiling at the sight of an almost empty office (everyone is grabbing lunch), before pressing your lips against his in a bruising manner.

Usually, he would’ve won the battle, but nothing about today or tonight is going to just be the ‘usually’ so you tug on his tie tighter that caught him off guard, which allowed you to slip your tongue past his sinful lips and devour his sweet sweet warm mouth. Your hips doesn’t miss the party either, grinding down right on his bulge as you pull back— watching his flustered cheeks and teary eyes.

“Aww Look at you, i’ve barely done anything and you’re ruined already. God i’ll have so much fun playing with you.” Your smiles scream mischievous, usually he would bend you over by now and spank you til your ass is every shades of blue and purple. But today— today he only whined as his hips bucks up against you.

“Do something.. baby please” Oh how sweet is this, his voice all raspy and desperation dripping out of it like fucking honey. You can’t help but to press down on his bulge, palm it slowly as you shake your head “Nuh uh, Good boys wait Doctor, you know that.” Your fake sympathetic pouts are what nearly sent him over the edge,

“You’ll p-pay fuck!- for this, Little one.” He let his dominant self shown for awhile before you wrap your fingers around his throat and clicking your tongue “That can wait until later but now, you’re my needy little thing now, so don’t get mouthy or i swear to god i’ll shove my dildo up those fuckable throat of yours.” Just as he was about to answer, you heard the ‘ding’ of the elevator, causing you to stand up before patting his bulge twice “Be a good boy, and maybe your punishment won’t be that hard.” you whispered before walking away to your desk.

————————

When Spencer arrived home, he wasn’t sure what to expect from you, he was excited of course, his raging hard on is still prominent- the reminiscent of your voice kept playing in his mind and that alone could make him burst then and there.

He walked to the bedroom you both shared, mouth agape at the sight of you wearing your black lingerie and he also sees your wand on top of the bed, smiling nervously as he approached you.

“Don’t just stare, Doctor. Come take a closer look at what you’ll be wearing.. or playing with tonight.” You grinned as you let him inspect the objects— sex toys. On top of the bed you’ve prepared were ropes, blindfold, your wand, and also some ice cubes on the metal bucket.

“M-miss you’ll use all of this on me?” His timid demeanor is so different from how he usually gets when he’s horny and the thought of blurring the line of submission and dominance is making you clench your thighs. You’re each other equal, with each of your own submissiveness and dominance. It’s all balanced and hearing it almost feels like an orgasmic experience.

“Yes, baby. But if at some point during our play time you feel the slightest bit comfortable you have to color out okay? coloring out doesn’t mean that you’re a disappointment but its to know your limits, okay?” He gladly nodded as his lips curled into a smile “I know miss.”

“I know you know, but you rarely becomes submissive and it can get pretty overwhelming especially if you have me as your dom, i hope you aren’t expecting orgasms soon.” With that and a loud whine from him, you stand up before ordering him to lay down on the bed right after you’ve places the blindfold on top of his eyes.

“Okay, baby. I’m going to tie you up now, if its too tight then tell me, communicate is key Spencer” You sternly said, earning a small “Yes, miss” from him. You picked the rope before tying both of his wrists onto the headboard and move down to tie each ankles to the bed post.

“How does it feel, Doctor? Too tight?”

“N-no miss, Just perfect..”

“Good, get ready for me to ruin you.”

——————

You’ve barely even touch him, ghosting your fingers on top of his neck, against his nipples and down to where his cock is hard against his tummy.

“You’re pathetic, look at you, making such a mess on yourself.” You scoffed, bending down to lick the very tip of his cock that rested against his stomach, causing him to jolt at the sensation and buck upwards. You gathered enough pre cum on your lips before pressing it onto his— kissing him in a soft manner this time, letting him savor his own taste from your mouth.

“mmh! miss please!” He whines, trying to gain some friction by bucking his hips upwards against the air which earned him a slap on his thighs, “This is my body, mine to use whenever i please so think again before you start begging.” You harshly whispered, as you bring the ice you’ve been holding and place it in between your mouth.

The cold sensation that trailed down his skin is almost unbearably pleasurable, the way it tickles his skin causing goosebumps to his wake and makes him squirm like a bitch in heat. Your lips trail down his tummy before the tip of your ice cube pressed tightly against the tip of his sensitive ruddy red cock— and you were shocked when you heard the loudest string of moans Spencer ever let out, biting your lip as you feel yourself soaking your own thighs.

“Ahh! fuck please miss! make me cum please!” His voice is strained and scratchy evidence that you teased him so good he lose his voice. The only answer you give him is “Quiet.” before leaving the ice cube to melt down against the tip of his cock, pulsing with need.

As the ice cube melts, you grab your wand before turning it on, setting the speed to the lowest level, and placing it on the veiny sides of his cock. He jumped suddenly as the vibrations ran through his body— he feels like every system inside him is exposed and raw.

“Oh fuck oh fuck! miss! Fuck M-may i cum?” Y/n contemplate as to let him cum or no, the sweet torture is too precious to give but you also know that you need to finish too somehow.

So without warning, you pulled the wand away, as spencer let out a frustrated whine, he was going to cum! “Don’t be fucking greedy or i swear to god i’ll tie you up right here, strap the wand on your messy cock and leave you to cum and cum again and again until you pass out.” you warned, as he took a deep breath and apologize, voice shaky. “Y-yes miss i’m so sorry.. I love you.” That’s a sign that he’s breaking into subspace and you definitely have to let him cum soon so he wouldnt far too deep.

“I love you baby, you’ve been so good for me, just a bit more okay? and then i’ll let you cum inside me hm?”

“Fuck! yes please miss!” His voice is needy and desperate as i slowly align the tip against my slit, before sinking down on his length— causing both of us to gasps and moan out loud. “Spencer Fuck! You’re so fucking big” You moaned as you threw your head back and start to bounce up and down his cock, making sure to fasten the pace with each thrust.

“Yes yes! your cunt feels so good miss!” He lets out noises that sounded so beautiful, almost like music to your ears, that fueled you to keep on bouncing on his cock, tightening your walls around him as you feel like you’re getting close.

“Baby! fuck yes yes! mmm i’m going to cum sweetheart” You laughed as he struggled to breath, your fingers pressing down on your throat as you roll your hips down. “Tell me.. tell me my genius doctor, do you want to breathe—“ “or cum?”

Spencer squirmed as he heard the question, biting his lips and moans suddenly as i keep on bouncing on his cock “fuck i’m going to cum- answer me now or you won’t get both.” You threatened quickly earning an answer from the poor boy,

“Cum, miss please let me cum inside of you- please i need it!”

At that you cum all over his cock, rolling your hips to ride out your high, you were shaky and feeling floaty but you regained yourself quickly as you hear Spencer begged.

“M-miss please—“

“Cum, now. Cum, baby boy. that’s it let it out.. oh good boy, I’m so proud of you.” You whimpered out the last bit as you feel him coat your walls with his cum, before pulling out, untie him from each 4 restraint and loosen the blindfold.

You smiled as you sees his face, grabbing the water bottle you had on the night stand and ordering him to take few gulps before taking some your own. You grabbed the wet cloth as you wiped the both of you.

“How was that baby.. do you like it?” There’s uncertainty in your voice, as fuzzy as his mind might be. “I loved every single bit of it, sweetheart” Spencer said pulling her close as they cuddled after wiping each other off.

“mmm i’m glad then”

“Just wait until its my turn again, you will wish you hadn’t even try to dominate me. Cause you’re cute, when you take charge.”

“Shh, lets sleep Doctor”

“Just so you know i haven’t forget about any of this, and your eye roll. Hope you know that you’ll regret it.”

———————

Blurb ideas are always welcomed as well as constructive criticisms and feedback!

Thank you for reading! I love you❤️

[fuckingqueenofjunk]

Lost and Found

Lost

Time flowed differently as the wind. At first, she was lost. She had no control of her elemental form. The wind was everywhere, and so was she. Simultaneously she was rushing through valleys, wisping up snow in tundras, blowing tumbleweeds across desert lands, and delivering the breath of life to a newborn. Over time she gained back the memories of who she was. 

She was Kagura of the Wind, born of Naraku, and died as the free wind.

I want to see him. She hated that her first thought after regaining herself was of a man. However, Sesshomaru’s image filled her mind and she yearned for just a glance of his silver locks. She knew exactly where to look.

The first place she stopped was the village where Inuyasha lived. It turned out to be more bittersweet than she was expecting.

Seeing Kohaku was a welcome surprise. Saving him was the catalyst that was ultimately her demise, so seeing him alive and well made the loss a little easier. Rin had grown significantly too. The little girl who once cowered in fear of her was learning to be a midwife from Kaede. Kagura overheard the town’s people as they praised her bravery as she delivered Hisui in Kaede’s stead. The monk and demon slayer survived. And were breeding like rabbits, already siring twin girls and a son. Even Kagome who just recently returned from “her world”, as Inuyasha called it, was adapting well to her new life. 

Life moved on without her. She knew it would, but she couldn’t help but feel envious of everything she could never have. It left her bitter.

She did not return to the village for months after that.

Spring turned into Summer, which rolled into Autumn, and the itch to return to the village became overwhelming. It became so powerful that she no longer avoided scratching. 

And like a drug, once she got a taste, she could not stop. It became a daily occurrence to swing by and see if she could catch a glimpse of him. 

Which was ridiculous, the entire world was her domain, and she was determined to see every part of it. The whole point of her freedom was that she could no longer be held down. But here she was, clinging to a hope of a glance at her lost love.

Kagura was furious at herself for allowing herself to be so desperate, but it had been months since she regained her consciousness. Not once since she returned had she caught a glance of the mysterious Lord. It wasn’t until one day that she eavesdropped onto a conversation between Rin and Kagome, she found out that he visits Rin on the day of the full moon. To her excitement, it was just a week away.

For the first time since being the wind, she counted her days. 

The dawn of the full moon, Kagura rushed in with the sun. She was not sure what she was expecting, but just the thought of his molten gold eyes makes her weak. Anxiously she awaited his arrival as self doubt bombarded her mind, making her want to flee. 

Hardening herself, she paced around Kaede’s hut where Rin was sleeping. She tried to keep herself busy by blowing off cobwebs and pushing loose dirt from the roof. That was short lived, so she did every hut in the village. And soon she found herself swirling around, impatiently waiting for her chance to catch a glimpse of silver hair. 

A couple hours after dawn, Rin emerged from the hut. A huge grin was plastered on her face as she happily rushed to the town’s center. Kagura followed, right on her heels. Eager as Rin was to see the Lord of the West. However, to Kagura's disappointment, Rin was just meeting Kagome to start her daily chores. Begrudgingly, Kagura followed them to fields where they harvested different herbs. 

Kagura paced nervously beside the humans. It was almost mid afternoon and there was still no sign of Sesshomaru. Rin also had said nothing of it, and she worried she picked the wrong day. She was beginning to lose hope, until Kagome's word's shocked her to her core.

“I hope it’s not so windy when Sesshomaru shows up, I would hate for it to ruin your day.” Kagome said, holding down her woven hat tightly to her scalp. 

Kagura freezes at Kagome’s words, like she is holding her breath. The thought of her element distributing Sesshomaru and Rin’s quality time had never crossed her mind. However, once it was there, it burned into her. Disgust and self-loathing coursed through her. Even now, she was going to be a burden to Sesshomaru.

Preparing to save-face and leave, Rins words stopped her in her tracks.

“Don’t be silly, Lord Sesshomaru loves the wind.” Rin says easily with a laugh, and Kagura releases the breath she was holding as a gust of wind. Kagome’s hat got caught in the burst, and went flying into the sky. 

“Well, right now, I don't.” Kagome sighed, watching her hat fly off into the distance. Kagura wished the priestess could feel her presence right now. If she could, she would know that Kagura was not one bit sorry. In fact, she felt pretty smug about it. 

She didn’t get much time to think about what Rin had said, as a thick demonic aura was quickly coming down on them. Kagura was the first one to notice as Sesshomaru approached on the back of his two headed dragon. His powerful energy electrified and disturbed the air around him.

Panic course through her. For months she thought about seeing him again, and now that he was here, she was terrified. Instinctually, she fled from the humans side. Inwardly she cursed her cowardice, as she watched from the tree line as Rin excitedly greeted her Lord. However, she could not help but admit that it was a cute scene. The little girl jumped and waved her arms, like a child greeting their parents after a long day. 

From a distance, she watched Sesshomaru land and greet his ward and Kagome. Slowly she crept back in, still keeping away from the group. Close enough where she could still hear them, but far enough where she could escape unnoticed. Rin was eagerly recounting something, and the two adults listened quietly. After a moment, Kagome turned to Sesshomaru.

“You’re lucky, it’s been really windy today. It just died down.” Kagome tucked her messy hair behind her ear, not hiding her annoyance. 

Sesshomaru’s eye widened a millisecond before they scanned the field around them. His eyes seemed to hone in where Kagura approximately was. A small smirk flirted with his lips as his glance turned back to Kagome. “Is that so?”

“Yea, it took my favorite hat.” Kagome huffed. 

“It would look better on her anyway.” Rin laughed, earning a confused look from the priestess. There was no further explanation, as she led the way back to the town. “Come on, let’s go dry these.” 

Kagome followed, continuing her education about proper herb blending. Sesshomaru stayed, eyes still lingering where Kagura was hiding. For a moment, she was wondering if she should approach, but he turned and followed his ward before she could make a decision. 

All evening she kept her distance. Not like she had much of a choice. She was locked out when they all retired to Kaede’s hut, and the wind didn’t belong indoors.

Rude. She thought to herself as she waited outside. What was said behind closed doors was a mystery to Kagura. A mystery she couldn't solve as they spoke quietly to themselves for a couple hours. She wanted to knock down the hut so she could hear them.

What was she missing out on? Were they talking about her? Did he ever talk about her?

Well, she could know. The only thing standing in her way was four thin walls. With just a little push... There would be no more mystery.

But alas, she restrains herself and returns to her musings.

It was at dusk, Inuyasha returned from his patrol to gather Kagome. She had no problem hearing Inuyasha shout at his older brother, or the very firm “Sit Boy.” from Kagome. 

Kagome pulled Inuyasha out of the hut by the ear, all while apologizing sweetly to her in-law. They bickered playfully all the way back to the hut they called their home. It was sweet that they still had the same fire they had all those years ago. 

It wasn’t much longer until Sesshomaru emerged from the hut, and Kagura flew back. She watched as Rin tried not to cry as she said her farewells, Kaede patting the girl’s shoulders to calm her down. He tossed her hair before saying his only and final farewell, leaving a brave faced Rin who returned with Kaede back to her hut. 

Kagura watched in the distance as her moment slipped by. Gracefully he walked to the meadow where he had left his steed. However she could not find the courage to approach. She knew he was leaving, and that she would not get the chance again for another month, but the thought didn’t bother her. She had gotten to see him again, and she was content. As the wind another month meant nothing. There would be another chance.

However, she couldn’t help feeling an overwhelming amount of disappointment in herself. Even now she was too afraid to stand up for what she wanted. 

She watched sadly as he packed his belongings on the beast. She was about to leave, but instead of mounting his dragon, he continued to walk deeper into the meadow. Curious, she followed him. Excited and anxious energy coursed through her as she watched Sesshomaru sit in the middle of the field. Chin tilted skyward, his eyes lazily stared at the stars above. 

Recognizing her moment, she cautiously approached. He made no movement, or sign of acknowledgement that he was aware of her presence. Deep in his thoughts, his eyes searched the sky for answers. She blew gently from the grass, before raising to face his sad eyes. 

Just a touch. Kagura ghosts a caress over his face. Softly, her winds breeze over his stripes and through his bangs. He froze for a moment, eyes widening, before relaxing.

“Kagura.” He sighed, closing his eyes and leaning into her embrace. 

She pulled back instantly, an absent heart pounds wildly within her. His eyes open half way, and she takes in the beautiful molten gold orbs. They searched the air for someone that was not there. Wondering if maybe he had just imagined it. 

Hesitantly, she caressed his cheek again. This time feathering over his stripes, and through a lock of hair that was on the wrong side. A small throaty growl escaped, obviously liking what she did. His eyes remained half open, fixated on the spot he thought she was. Boldening her, she ran herself through his hair and mokomoko, sending strands flying. 

“I knew it was you.” Sesshomaru said softly. The very same words he said back then, stirring old painful emotions. 

There were so many things she wished she could say to him. Things that she regretted not saying when she was still alive. If she could do it all over again, she would have been honest with her feelings. Naraku be damned. 

Now she would never have the chance.

Gently she returned to face him, blowing back some of the stray locks of hair. His clawed fingers push back the wind-teased tresses, and a ghost of a smirk adornes his lips. She stirred the grass at his fingertips, embracing them in the blades. 

They sat in silence, enjoying the peace, and in the quiet, she danced for him. Bringing in leaves, feathers, and petals, she twirled them along the grass as she moved around Sesshomaru. Flirting with danger, she would graze close to his body. However, she was especially careful not to have anything actually touch him as it was part of her performance. He would watch her show in awe as she glided across the soft grass. Her winds telling their story in the blades. Captivated, he watched her every move. The perfect audience. 

She kept up the dance before settling beside him. They enjoyed each other’s company in silence before Sesshomaru started speaking. He told her what happened after Naraku, and how he earned Bakusaiga. Never before had he spoken so much, but as he continued his tale, she would do her best to respond with her element. When there was nothing left to say or if it just felt right, he would stop talking, and they would sit in comfortable silence. It continued all night, until they ended up watching the sunrise together. 

There was no telling how long they could have enjoyed each other’s company, but it was disturbed by a very tired half demon.

“Sesshomaru?” Inuyasha asked with a yawn, making Sesshomaru jump. He must have been starting his patrol for the day, as sleep still clung to him. “Who are you talking to?”

Sesshomaru stood slowly, not used to being caught off guard. Using the opportunity, Kagura said her farewell by running through his hair and flying high above into the clouds. 

With a small smirk, he turned away from his younger half brother. “To the wind.” 

______

Found

Kagura gasped as air filled her newly formed lungs. Her eyes shot open to gather her bearings. Absentmindedly, her hand clutched her chest; and what she expected to be empty, pound wildly in her chest. The heart she died for, now raged against her ribs. A grin broke out as she fought back tears. 

She felt him lower himself to her level. Glancing up, her eyes met Sesshomaru’s. All worries of her previous life melted away as she smiled. 

His eyes held a deeper intensity. Behind his golden orbs swirled sadness, regret, and longing. But mostly, uncertainty. As if she would just disappear into the wind again. His palm hesitantly reached out, and carefully caressed her cheek. Once that small contact, his facial features softened as he stared into his eyes. 

“It's you.” Kagura whispered softly leaning into his palm. Reaching out, her fingertips dragged gently against his chest.

Her words stirred something in him, and his eyes softened in a way she would never thought possible. 

“Kagura.” His voice was pained as his stare bore into her, but she shushed his words with her lips. As they embraced, the wind stirred on it’s own violation, blowing loose white and yellow petals into the sky. 

Everything was right, now.

Now that she was found.

------

In memory of Squish and Lucas, and to all those who were lost to the pandemic. My heart and thoughts are with you. 

Please note I did both of these pieces 100% on my phone, so don't look too closely. Reblogs appreciated ❤️❤️❤️

[bowieandqueen11]

Hello, and Goodbye / Klaus Hargreeves Imagine

Request: How good was season 2 of umbrella academy! Can I request a Klaus x reader where he meets a young woman in the 60s and they fall in love. Only to have a heartfelt goodbye when Klaus has to travel back to 2019? 

Noooo @billhaderstrashbag​ I’m so EMOTIONAL RN <3

Warning, some strong language!

Comments and reblogs are really really appreciated!

Klaus always forgot how uncomfortable the ground was, until he was being shoved down onto it.

In his mind, when he rushed out of that muddy, dirty alleyway and straight into 1960s Dallas, everything would like a clean slate. The diner he had randomly chosen to run into, where no one knew who he was, and no one knew he had helped bring about the end of the world, he thought, would be vibrant, buzzing with young people so familiar and yet so different from him, and rock n roll would be playing on some crappy jukebox in the back. The servers would be in bright uniforms, likely on roller skates. Everything would be classic, refurbished and perfect. If only, he ended up thinking when he landed on the pavement, he had paid more attention during Reginald’s history lessons.

On bursting through the double doors his smile faded. The place was dingy, cluttered and smelt of old frying oil, the seat covers in the bays were faded red and ripped, and the servers had sneered at him almost immediately when he had slid into one of the booths.

‘You smell, and you’re chasing away all my customers pretty boy, so stay out!’

Landing in a dirty puddle, Klaus blows drops of water off his lips and watch them angrily fall back to the floor with a contemptuous shake of his head. He hated being wet, and he hated, more than anything, being left to fend for himself again.

‘Fine!’, he shouts resigned to the floor. He ignores Ben’s shaking head as he grimaces, rubbing his elbow as he pulls himself up to a sitting position. ‘Your food smells shit anyway, you couldn’t pay me to eat it!’

‘We’ve been here, what, twenty minutes and you’ve already pissed someone off. Nice going, dumbass.’

‘Oh shut your pie hole Ben, I’ve already been abandoned by enough family members today.’

‘Well hello there, stranger. You’re looking awfully crumpled down there. Need a hand?’

Klaus glanced up from where he was sitting on the floor, noticing first not the hand that had fallen down, outstretched to him in the first kind gesture he had received in, well, months, but the jewel on your finger instead. In the golden Dallas sunlight, it glittered like the sun-kissed ocean lapping the sands, and so he grabbed onto your hand, gently pulling it off your finger and snapping it shut in his palm as you graciously pulled him up.

The second thing, Klaus Hargreeves noticed, was how beautiful you were. He felt almost bad for stealing your jewellery, but as you smiled at him, all worries melted from his head and instead he found himself giving you a dopey, love sick grin in return. Ben, already seeing where this was going, only rolled his eyes and turned to walk off down the street.’

‘What would your name be, young man?’

‘Uh...Klaus! I’m Klaus, and I am delighted to meet you. Enchante.’ He wiggles his eyebrows as he kisses the back of your hand.

‘Hello there Klaus. It’s very wonderful, if a little odd, to meet you.’

~

The morning had broken like the sweet melody of a blackbird, full of promise, freshness and newness to come when you had woken up in Klaus’ arms this morning. Now it sat like a cold cup of coffee waiting to be drained away.

As soon as you stepped back into your home, and dropped the groceries off by the front table in the hallway, you knew something was wrong.

None of the lights were on, was the first clue, despite how late in the afternoon it was. Klaus had told you long ago about the number of times he was left to fend for himself in the darkness of his dad Mausoleum, and from then on at least one light was always left on in the mansion. 

Yet there he was, standing in the half-light of the living room, almost looking like the shadows he’d spent his whole life trying to avoid. Hunched over, you could already see his shoulders were trembling underneath his black trench coat, and you already knew, although you tried to shake the thought out of your mind as you stepped towards him, that your time was up. 

Pausing by the doorway for a moment, you let your eyes roam over him before he noticed you were there. You’d have to go in eventually, you know you did, but at least this way, before you placed your hand against his shoulder and broke him out of his nightmare, you had a few moments to prepare.

He shattered underneath your touch like fragments of stardust, lips quivering as he turns to you. Trying to put on airs, he fails to smile at you, his lips only slightly twitching in his usual half smirk. You can see it in his eyes, the ones that bore so desperately into your own, as he turns to grab onto your fingers, that he’s thinking of pleading, of begging, of getting down onto his knees and asking the universe why it won’t allow him to keep one good thing, anybody in his life that he loves more than himself.

Instead, you speak first, not allowing him the chance to crumble.

‘You have to go, don’t you.’

He doesn’t say anything, can’t find any of the right words to say to someone he loves this much. Instead he just allows his heart to ache in that familiar way it had since he was a child, that intimate knowledge and feeling of loneliness and heartbreak as he keeps scanning your face, trying to find anyway out of it this time. He wanted nothing from his life, nothing, no fame, no drugs, hell he would even take the ghosts, if he could just spend one more day in your company.

Eventually he lets go of your hands, biting his lower lip as he reaches into the back pocket of his black bell bottom jeans, pulling something easily out.

‘I was going to ask you to marry me, but I’m not sure we have time for that riggght now.’

His tone is a false cheery you can see right through, but what he couldn’t stop were the shaking of his hands as he holds the diamond out in front of you. The same one, you realise with a gasp, he had stolen from you the first day you had met. You had always thought, as you were pulled along in the tidal wave of this troubled young man, unknowable but all encompassing, that he had pawned it in order to find a better life for himself, for the two of you. The truth, in fact, hurt more.

Trying to collect your thoughts, you only cup his hand, letting the ring fall back into his palm, before gently cupping his fingers closed and just allowing him to tremble in your touch.

‘I would have loved to marry you. Keep it, but do me a favour? Don’t let me know when you’re going. This is the last memory I want to have of us - a happy one.’

‘But I don’t want to leave.’

His bright green eyes locked onto yours, and you could see then all the torment he had faced in his life, as if some ravaging storm had been encased within his soul. He opened his mouth as if to speak again, but only blubbered, trying to fight back his tears. Eventually, so uncharacteristically for him, he quietly managed to whisper, ‘please don’t leave me.’

Then the storm was let loose - the ocean started to leak, little water droplets streaming down Klaus’ rosy cheeks, burning so hotly against his skin in a way they hadn’t since he was ten years old, during Reginald’s first experiment.

‘Please don’t leave me alone again. I don’t want to go.’

‘Well I’m telling you that you have to. You trust me, right? Well I’m telling you, Klaus, my love, that I am not more important than the end of the world.’

Klaus bit his lip, eyes roaming over every piece of furniture in the living room to make sure they don’t connect with yours again. His body squirms against your touch as you pull his hands towards you and encase him in a hug, melting into your arms. His hand desperately clings onto your shoulder, the other pulling away to cup your cheek.

‘...What if you are to me.’

Slowly, and inevitably, you stand up onto your tippy toes and press your lips against Klaus’. It’s soft, and gentle, and familiar, but it’s filled with so much warmth, so much knowledge that you two were always meant to find each other, no matter when or where you were, that you belonged together, if only for a short while. It filled him with warmth, and calmness, tenderness spilling from his heart and rushing to every corner of his body, each inch of him saturated with a love that, yes, he may lose, but he was so glad he had even managed to find in the first place.

Eventually, you pull away and press your forehead against his for a moment, before pushing against his chest and letting him out of your grasp.

‘Goodbye, Klaus.’

[idontmeantosoundrudebut]

This is Home (stupid Eretlout oneshot)

Oh hello it is currently 4 am and I've just finished this impulse one-shot about Modern Eretlout haha lol bruh! It's set in Britain by the way, because I'm British and I love my British culture lol! This hasn't been edited by the way so... yeah, it's really bad in my opinion but I need to post some writing because yeah! I'm actually currently working on a long Eretlout fic but I have no idea when/if it'll be finished so haha lol bruh awkward! Oh yeah, warning of abuse and past child abuse and only slightly steamy content, really its just making out and all that!!! haha lol bruh enjoy

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Blood fills his mouth. It drips from his chin, pours from his head, spills from his nostrils.

He opens his red-speckled fist and a tooth lies in the scarlet pool gathered in his palm, it almost looks like gold beneath the glow of the streetlamp that slants into his car. His upper jaw throbs from where he'd yanked out the already loose tooth and he can make out the rivulets of gum-flesh still clinging onto the roots. He stares at it with an unbothered and tired expression.

"Couldn't even punch my tooth outright," He mumbles to himself, opening the glove box and chucking the tooth inside, "Had to yank it out myself,"

It makes a high-pitched clanging sound as it bounces off a half-finished bottle of Captain Morgan and then, silently, it disappears behind the several cigarette cartons that lay piled unceremoniously within (Marlboro Reds, Marlboro Golds, Caramel Blues, Regal Kingsizes, even the odd Mayfair for when he gets desperately low). He reaches a hand inside and rummages through the collection, most of them are empty at this point, he needs to restock and clean out his car, it's been a solid few months since he did that. He shakes a Caramel carton, empty. Another Caramel? Empty. Marlboro Red? Empty. Regal? Ah, lucky day, only half-empty.

A great sigh forces its way through his clogged nostrils and, with the abruptness of a cut artery, blood spatters all over his shirt and along his forearms. His hand freezes mid-air, fingers tight around the bending carton as he blinks slowly, anger simmering beneath his skin because really? Really?! He looks down at his shirt, it was ruined anyway. He'll never get the red out that white, looks like someone's just slit his throat from all the blood that's been pouring down his neck. That table-corner got him good in the head and cut a deep gash just above his eyebrow, the entire right side of his face is crimson with blood and it shimmers in the flickering lamplight.

He bites into the end of the cigarette and lights it with a silver zippo, the flame casting writhing shadows across his blood-spattered hand. The first drag is the best, the first hit to the back of his throat, the first exhale of smoke. Each heartbeat hurts a little less with a little more smoke, a little more tar, a little more death in his lungs.

Snotlout starts the car and drives away. He watches his childhood home disappear around the corner and it feels like goodbye. He can't kind it in himself to be sad about it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He parks outside of Eret's house on the edge of the path, walking up to the red door with a tidy black seven nailed on it.

"Oh Snotlout, love, you alright?" Comes a familiar voice and he looks over to see Chantel from next door, wrapped in her dressing gown with a black bin bag clutched in her hands.

Eret's house is tucked in the centre of a row of brick houses, it's the kind of street where everyone knows everyone and everyone knows everything, whether you like it or not. In the last year, Snotlout has gotten to know a lot of people (and a lot of rumours) who live along this here street.

"I'm alright, Chan," He says honestly (because he is alright, it's just a bit of blood and few bruises) and stamps the butt-end of his fifth cigarette in thirty minutes into the cracked path.

"You 'aven't been fighten' again, 'ave you? With those Trapper boys?" Chantel asks severely, a mother of four, she's very intuned to her maternal instincts and even the slightest sign of distress has them flaring up, "It better not be with those Grimborn brothers! I'm telllen' you Snotlout, those two are shady bastards and its best to stay clear of 'em-"

Snotlout lights another smoke, this one from a full carton of Marlboro Red, and spits blood and phlegm onto the grass, tongue prodding the empty socket in his jaw.

"I haven't been fighting, Chan, promise," He reassures her, and that's also true because he didn't fight back at all, it was more of a beat down, "Just a disagreement with my old man, you know how it is,"

Chantel's back straightens like she's been in the army her whole life and she crosses her arms over her chest, red hair wet and shining like blood in the moonlight. Only four of the streetlamps work and they're further down the road, so the road and paths are alight only from the horseshoe moon that hovers amongst the star-filled sky, the black-asphalt gleaming silver. They've been complaints to the council to get them all fixed, but they won't do anything, they never do, they just leave the poor to rot.

She looks like she's about to say something about it, but he shakes his head at her. Instead of telling him to call the police, she says;

"You're bleedin' like a stuck pig all over the place, Lout, people'll gonna be thinkin' that Jack the Ripper is back from the fuckin' dead," He laughs at that and he offers a straight to her, as a thanks for not making a big fuss over finding him bloodied like a murdered boy in the middle of the night, but she shakes her head.

"You're grand, love, I got a pouch this mornin', save 'em for desperate times," Chantel looks him up and down, black eyes near white in the moonlight, "You look like you're in one now,"

Snotlout agrees with her. He waves a hand to bid her goodnight and goes inside. He closes and he turns on the hallway light. The marrow-deep tension in his bones slips away, causing a breath that comes from the very bottom of his tar-clogged lungs to fall from his lips, and his hurting heart finally stops beating against his ribs like a jackhammer as he leans against the front door.

He's safe, he's home. Because this small, shoddy house with its water-stained ceilings and peeling wallpaper and creaking floorboards is home. It's simple and a little broken, but it's home.

"Snotlout?" Eret calls from upstairs, he can see the bedroom light glow up the hallway at the top of the stairs, "That you?"

"Yeah," He takes a generous drag, then exhales slowly, "It's me, sorry I'm late... Went to see my dad, after work,"

Footsteps ring across the house and Eret appears at the top of the stairs, dressed in nothing but a ratty pair of grey jogging bottoms, his terribly handsome torso bare for Snotlout and Snotlout alone to see. He grins proudly around his cigarette at the sight of those hard abbs, those firm pecs, those faint scars, those old gang tattoos. Oh, what a handsome devil he is and Snotlout caught him all on his own.

"Fuckin' Hell, Snotlout!" Eret comes charging down the stairs like a mad horse and Snotlout barely blinks when he comes over to him, large hands gracing over his oozing temple and along his bruising jaw. The touch is very much welcomed.

"What happened? Were you jumped?"

"No, I wasn't fucking jumped-"

"You've lost a tooth!"

"It's in the car, in the glove box, I'll get Gobber to stick it back on,"

"I don't think that's how it works, darlin',"

Eret drags him into the living and posts him on the black vinyl couch. Hookfang, his German Shepherd, immediately bounds over to him and rests his snout on top of Snotlout's knees, wet nose twitching and throat moving with unfurling whines and whimpers. He pets him affectionally between his ears, humming lowly to Hookfang to help ease the old war-vet. Eret goes to snatch the half-smoked cigarette from his fingers, but Snotlout's reflexes are too fast.

"Hey! I'm not done, asshole,"

"Not smokin' in the house is your rule, not mine, I'm just helpin' you out,"

"Fuck that rule, just for tonight, fuck it,"

With a rich laugh, Eret saunters into the kitchen to get the med-kit. But Snotlout saw the concern and anxiety in those dark, earthy eyes and he heard it too in that laugh, it was a little shaky at the end. Hookfang barks at him.

"Easy Hookfang, I'm okay," He barks again, louder, black eyes glistening with fear, "I know pal, there's a lot of blood, but it's okay, I'm okay, soldier," He ruffles the War-dog's neck lovingly, trying to ease Hookfang's unnerved mood and distract him from the blood. It probably brings back bad memories for him.

Eret comes back with the med-kit tucked beneath his armpit and a large bowl of water cradled in his hands. He set it on the coffee table and politely nudges Hookfang out of the way, the Shepherd in turn leaps onto the couch and curls dutifully at Snotlout's side. Such a loyal friend, Snotlout doesn't deserve something as honourable as Hookfang's fidelity.

"Look like a stuck pig," Eret whisper, running a wet dishtowel along the drying river of blood that pours down his face and throat.

"Ha, Chantel said the exact same thing," He chuckles lowly, watching rivulets of watery blood travel down Eret's powerful forearms as he sponges at the blood along his cheek.

"Chantel?" He queries, eyes briefly flickering to meet his.

"Yeah, caught outside just as I was coming in," Snotlout closes his eyes as he lifts his chin so Eret can easily swipe the already stained towel down his throat. It leaves a funny tightness in his gut and a nice shiver ghosts up his spine at the vulnerable display.

"Well, expect the whole street to know by lunchtime tomorrow," Eret replies, then adds, "I mean, I love Chantel to pieces, but by God, she gossips like there is no tomorrow,"

Snotlout nods in agreement, smoking his cigarette and tapping the ash into an ashtray that's always kept on the coffee table, despite his own rule of no smoking in the house. But he's never been good at keeping to the rules, even his own ones. Eret wipes away the twin-tracks of maroon streaking from his nose and begins to wrap the gash above his eyebrow up.

"We'll go to the doctor tomorrow mornin', yeah? Think you might need stitches,"

"Cool," Is his reply, tired and uninterested.

All the blood is finally cleared from his skin. The towel is scarlet. The bowl on the table is no longer a bowl of water, but a bowl of blood. A swathe of bandages is wrapped around his head like a bandana, but there hasn't been any bleed through for a few minutes so Eret looks satisfied (and rather proud) at his nursing work.

After a moment, Snotlout flicks his finished fag into the ashtray and stares into Eret's dark eyes; he's very tired.

"Thanks for patching me up, babe," Snotlout says quietly, not because he doesn't mean it but because he is full of such a sudden exhaustion that it feels well overdue. His head, his brain, needs a good rest or else he's going to start screaming.

"No problem," Eret soothes his large hands up and down Snotlout's thighs, "Now, are you going to tell me what happened?"

Snotlout sighs, big and heavy, hand settling on the nape of Hookfang's neck and running through the dense fur. His heart shudders, his lung quiver, his blood boils, his body doesn't like any of this. Just get it over with, as he did with his dad.

"I told my dad about us. About me... you know, liking guys and all-"

"And he did this to you?" Eret's voice goes low, like a growl of an animal with its teeth bared. Snotlout would be lying if he said it didn't turn him on a bit. Thick fingers curl protectively around his thighs.

"Eret, don't get yourself all riled up about it, okay? It's done. I knew he'd react like this, it's not the first time he's punched me around and called me a faggot, just this time, he actually had a reason to call me one,"

"Yeah, well, it may not have been his first time but it sure as fuck is his last, do you understand?" Eret snarls vehemently, hands moving from his thighs to his hips and sides, Snotlout doesn't even flinch when he accidentally brushes against a forming bruise, "You are never going near him again, Lout, I won't let you be hurt by scum like that,"

Eret's eyes burn. Dark soil and spitting embers in furrowed sockets. The firm frown on his face and the clenching muscles in his jaw, grinding teeth that thirst for a hating man's blood. It's making Snotlout's throat go dry.

"You're hot when you're angry, have I told you that before?" He says lowly and Eret looks at him, vengefulness fading as he takes note of the wanton look in those pale eyes.

"You may have mentioned it once or twice,"

They breathe on each other's lips, tempting, waiting for the first one to move. Hookfang books it upstairs, sensing the heady change in the air.

Eret pushes Snotlout back onto the couch and crawls carefully over him, their lips immediately locking in a wet and obscene kiss that stretches on and on forever. Snotlout moans as Eret forces his tongue down his throat, golden hands skimming beneath his shirt and touching the tender flesh beneath in a skilled and teasing way that drives him mad. They make out for a while, dominating each other's mouths with vigour and gusto till their breathless and sweating.

The bloodied shirt is pulled over his head and Eret stills above him when he sees the black and blue bruises that bloom along his ribs and chest and stomach, even Snotlout gazes at them with morbid curiously. Fuck, his dad got him more than he realised. Not that it matters.

"I'll kill him, Snotlout, I'll kill him," Eret promises in a snarling growl and Snotlout wraps his arms around his shoulders, drawing him down so he can mumble against his lips;

"I know, but fuck me first,"

Of course, Eret complies.

Later, tangled in a mass of sweaty limbs and exhausted desires, Snotlout knows that he'll be okay. With his head on Eret's chest, he closes his eyes and sleeps because he's home, home has always been in those dark eyes, in those large hands, in those warm arms. Home has always been here.

Eret, a wanderer for most of his life, a lost man at sea who was bound for dirty work, has finally found a place to set loose his anchor. Snotlout is home, is the harbour he'll always be homebound to. He'll protect his Snotlout because who is he but a wanderer without his home.

[tainted-wine]

Past Due

Reader X Giran, Dabi, and Mr. Compress (NSFW)

(OOF, This little bastard of a fic has been fighting me every step of the way. It took so long because I was second guessing every single sentence I wrote. Finally, here’s the darkest shit I’ve written so far.)

(This is pre-Overhaul arc, so the bois Giran and Compress are still whole)

Words: 7.8k

Heed These Warnings: Murder, Kidnapping, Noncon/Dubcon, Giran being a dangerous dude, Knives, Forced Oral and Anal, Voyeurism, Humiliation, and the Protagonist just being a total dumbass

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For as long as you have lived, luck has been by your side like a bipolar twin attached to your hip. It was thanks to luck that you were born into a quirkless family in the trashiest of neighborhoods, your penniless parents separating and leaving you to fend for yourself. The streets had no use for you; no quirk, no charisma, no money, you were just another parasite desperately clinging onto the city’s rotten underbelly.

But it was also thanks to luck that you survived this long. The average person can remember each and every brush with death in their life clearly, but you—you’ve lost count of how many times this cruel world has tried to pick you off. So far, you have dodged every bullet, knife, and blast of quirk-based power aimed in your direction. How do you keep slipping past all of these dangerous criminals? Your reckless ass has no idea. Luck was simply a sadistic douchebag that enjoyed dangling you over the jaws of death, only to yank you back up and repeat the process like a sad little yo-yo.

As you drove to your place in a panic, you wonder if luck has ever fucked you this hard before.

———

Things had gotten somewhat organized, and by that you mean that you finally had some sort of plan instead of gravitating toward the nearest opportunity that didn’t look ready to tear you apart and throw your remains in an alley. You’ve even made an accomplice, a woman not quite as powerless as you, but an unfortunate soul with less experience in this…line of work. To make things even better, you managed to strike a deal with a prominent broker. Giran was a name known all throughout Japan’s black market, and to think that he’d see potential in a quirkless broad whose notable trait was simply not dying—it was your lucky day. He supplied you with weapons that will make surviving in this hellhole much easier, telling you to pay him within the next five days.

Your partner in crime asked if this was a good idea, that you didn’t seem capable of gathering that amount of money in the span of time you were given. There was no reason for her to worry; with the heat the two of you were packing now, you now had the ability to rob more than distracted civilians wandering the streets.

But before you could even enjoy your brand new firepower, luck decided to be a total asshole again. It was only the second day when you both were ambushed by a group of ruffians. Their quirks were pretty damn impressive, honestly. One of them levitated your gun right out of your hands before you could even fire, instantly leaving you helpless so that the other dudes could close in and beat the snot out of you.

The two of you woke up, bruised, bloodied, and stripped of Giran’s weapons. Damn, you don’t remember a deal ever going south this quickly. Must be a new record.

Alright, so your weapons were gone and you only have a fraction of the money so far. You can figure this out. Your partner was fuckin’ hysterical and you have to smack her before she gives herself a heart attack. The money was barely coming in, and before you knew it, the fifth day had arrived.

Yeah, you weren’t ready to face him yet.

Look, you weren’t exactly running away from him, you were just making sure to give yourself some space while you got your shit back together. That’s why you immediately moved to another part of town and now made sure to never drive down the same route twice. No, you weren’t gathering money for yourself and completely brushing off Giran, like your partner was suspecting. She has no idea what she’s talking about so she needs to shut up already and help you sell this jewelry that you worked so hard in stealing.

Okay, maybe Giran has been trying to call you for the past couple of days and you were officially ghosting him, but she didn’t need that knowledge to add to her stress. You probably weren’t even in any danger. The deal didn’t cost that much, and he didn’t seem like the type of guy to get truly pissed over some petty crook like you, right?

It’s been a week since the due date, and you both were still safe and sound. It was time to get your paranoid little buddy and discuss your next course of action.

When you reached her shoddy rented room, the door was already cracked open. Strange, and very careless; she should know better. You pushed it the remainder of the way and strutted inside. “Don’t leave your door open, dumbass. Anyway, I gotta—”

Your partner was sprawled out on the bed, open eyes still showing hints of the terror that she most definitely felt before her body became riddled with bullets. The smell of smoke and blood finally reached your nose when the shock of the scene before you wore off. The poor gal probably didn’t deserve such a gruesome fate.

“Oh…nevermind.” You close the door and briskly walk through the hall and out of that dangerous building.

------

This all led up to you speeding to your own run-down apartment.

‘Don’t jump to conclusions, now. This might have nothing to do with Giran. Maybe she pissed off some guys behind my back, or maybe I pissed them off and they found her before they found me. I keep forgetting just how many shit-lists probably have my name on them.’

Whatever it was, that instinctive twist in your gut was telling you that it was no longer safe around these parts. You had overstayed your welcome, anyway.

You glanced in every direction as you entered the building. At what time was your partner killed? If they’re after you too, do they already know where you live? There was no time to waste.

Checking to see that you weren't being followed, you entered your room and went straight to packing. You were basically a drifter, so you had few long-term possessions, so few that they could all fit into one bag. You packed your clothes, essential groceries, and your knickknacks that were ripe for selling. You’re loaded up and ready to go, and you don’t even need to go through the trouble of contacting an accomplice anymore. It’s those paper-thin silver linings that keep you going through this endless shitstorm of a life. With a silent goodbye to your short-lived home, you made your way to the door…

And a series of knocks freezes you in your tracks.

The sudden quickening of your heartbeat was dizzying. Shit. Shit shit shit. Whoever is on the other side can’t be friendly, but you had checked! You made sure no one was tailing you!

You backed away while your eyes darted around, deciding if you should defend yourself or find an alternate route to escape. Your only line of defense was a switchblade, so fighting was probably as bad of an idea as it usually was. You looked back to the single window in the room. ‘The fire escape.’

Several harder knocks spurred you into action. You unlocked and pulled at the old window, the worn frame almost breaking off as it opened. The damn ladder and stairs were one room across, but you can jump across the sills if you were careful enough.

There were more knocks, this time followed by a male voice. “Why the hell are we knocking? She’s not gonna answer.”

Another man responded. Shit, there’s more than one? “True. I just like to give the peaceful route a try.”

Something happened to the door that your fear-addled mind couldn’t comprehend. In the span of a second, the wooden door’s shape was warped and shrunken down into a small sphere. You didn’t spend any time to observe the two men at the entrance—you were already scrambling out of the window. The small ledge was difficult to balance on. If you could just get enough leverage for a jump…

“Oi!”

Fuck, you had to take the leap now, but before you could, a pair of hands took hold of you. In a blind panic, you drew your small blade and swung wildly at your attacker, doing your best not to lose your footing. One hand drew back and you heard a hiss of something like “little bitch”, and you thought this was your chance to break free and get away, but the hand still gripping the waist band of your pants got hot, so hot that it reached your skin and had you yelling in pain from the intense heat. With a powerful yank, you were falling back into the room and being pinned to the floor.

‘No no come on, Lady Luck. You’re always here to save my ass, right? I could use your help right fucking now.”

You thrashed and screamed, but then you saw the face of your captor and ew, that shit made you scream even louder. At least make the last face you see more appealing and less…burnt.

The burned man just looked annoyed while holding you down. “Just compress her already.”

Compress? What? Were they about to crush you? That sounds like a really shitty way to go. A gloved hand was pressed to your head, and everything began to distort at a rate too fast for your mind.

It was dark…you felt like you were floating…are you dead? Did it happen that fast? At least it was painless. There was a voice echoing somewhere, but all you saw was blackness. It sounded like it was coming from above. “God?” He’s real, after all?

God sounded very similar to the burnt asshole that attacked you. “That was easy. Why did he need us for this?”

The other voice that you still couldn’t attach a face to answered. “Giran does a lot for the League. It’s only fair that we do him the occasional favor, isn’t it? Her partner has already been taken care of.”

Well shit. Not only were you still alive, but you had been captured in some way to be delivered to him. You wanted to believe that you were in no serious danger, but no one sends two guys to break into your place and abduct you unless they had something sadistic in mind. Maybe your late partner was onto something this whole time.

The talking continued, but the sound was so faint. It’s like you were wearing a thick pair of earmuffs. This entire void, or whatever it is, was uncomfortable—the darkness seemed vast, yet it felt claustrophobic and heavy, like a powerful gravity preventing you from moving. What kind of quirk was this?

The mystery man was talking again. “Your arm is bleeding.”

“Oh right, she caught me with that little blade.” The burnt one said calmly. “It’s not that bad. My arms can’t feel much.”

“It’s not the pain I’m worried about; find something to wrap it up!” There was a sound that was difficult to discern, possibly a long sigh. “She made quite a scene at the window. I hope she didn’t bring any attention to us.”

You heard a grunt from the burnt one and could picture him shrugging. “If anyone asks, we’ll just say that she was a jumper and we stopped her.”

“…Who in the world tries to jump from only three stories?”

“A dumbass, and I’m pretty sure that’s what she is.”

The burnt guy can kiss your ass.

Their conversations were the only indication of time passing. Maybe you heard a few noises from whatever area they were currently in, such as a car passing by or a dog barking, but it was all too muffled to know for sure.

You hope you won’t be stuck in this prison for too long. The emptiness of it all was going to drive you insane. The abyss apparently sensed your distressed, shaping lights and colors all around and lifting the phantom weight off of you so quickly that you had to hold down a rush of bile in your throat.

It’s still fairly dark…a dimly lit room, no furniture, your knees on a hardwood floor, a figure sitting in front of you…

“Good morning.”

A greeting has never filled you with so much dread, uttered by a voice you haven’t heard in nearly two weeks.

The big-time broker himself was seated before you in a simple metal chair. When you met him in the bar to do business together, he had such a nonchalant aura around him, friendly yet detached. The smirk on his face seemed permanent, wearing it even now as he stared down at you, the little rat that has been hiding in the cracks of the city to avoid his sight. You didn’t feel threatened at all when you spoke in the bar; part of you knew that this man was in no way harmless, but he didn’t go out of his way to intimidate.

But now, even with the same relaxed posture and the same informal tone, his presence was sending strong chills down your spine with your brain screaming DANGER.

Giran leaned in, elbows resting on his thighs and a lit cigarette tucked between his fingers. The hanging bulbs illuminated only parts of his face, leaving the rest in a menacing shadow. “How have you been?”

You had no idea how to answer that. “F-fine?”

He gave a satisfied hum, as if he cared about your wellbeing. “That’s good to know. You’ve been hard to contact lately, so I had no idea.”

You swallowed, or at least you tried, but your throat was forgetting how to work properly. “I…” A cough escaped you. “I’ve been busy.”

His gruff chuckle unsettled you. “Of course. We’re all so busy these days, aren’t we? I’m not the type to stick my nose in others’ business, but may I ask what you’ve been so busy with? Hopefully something that involved gathering my money?” There it was.

Creating some more distance between your potential killer might help you think a little more clearly through the loud beating in your head, so you crawl backwards on shaky limbs like a drunk crab. “Y-yes! I’ve been doing my best, it’s just that I ran into a little problem an—” You bumped into something, turning your head to see a man looming over you. His attire was sharp, like that of a showman—even had a damn top hat. However, the mask he wore was rather ominous, the strange pattern resembling an abstract face. He didn’t budge when you had backed into his leg, only looking down at you as if you were a scared kitten.

In the corner of your vision you noticed the burnt one leaning back against the wall, watching you with disinterest. If it weren’t for the cold stare and the peril that he’s already put you through, you’d dare to admit that the greenish-blue hue of his eyes were kind of pretty.

“Don’t mind them,” Giran said with a lazy wave. “Those two are being kind enough to stick around in case I need them again. So, you were saying?”

You tried to recall where you were in your improvised excuse, and decided that you couldn’t risk having such a lie backfire. “I-I’m working on it. I have most of it so far. I just need a little more time.”

Giran’s face didn’t change. “And how much do you have?”

“Um…I…” What the hell do you say? Are you just digging yourself deeper? Is it possible to go any deeper? “Maybe I don’t have most, but I will soon so—”

“How much do you have?” It was firmer this time, making you shrink back. Dancing around his question wasn’t a good idea.

With a shaky breath, you answered quietly, “A hundred thousand yen.”

Giran placed the cigarette between his lips and took a long drag before blowing out a small cloud of toxic fumes. “A hundred thousand…of my three hundred thousand yen.”

Fuck, when he says it like that, maybe that is a lot of money to be missing out on.

You honestly wished he would show some sort of anger; his unwavering calmness was making you more anxious than any kind of rage.

“Can you tell me what you didn’t understand?” He asked.

“Huh? What…do you mean?” You couldn’t hold back the tremble in your voice.

“When we talked, I thought I made my measures clear. I give you the weapons, you pay me within the next five days. For every late day, I add more to what you already owe me. And if you take way too long, I’ll have to personally show you why you shouldn’t make deals where you can’t hold up your end.” He took another drag. You’re getting a feeling that the shrinking roll of tobacco is playing a big role in maintaining his leveled head. “Well, that all sounds clear to me, but there must be something in that explanation that didn’t get through to you, because you just ignored all of it.” Those final words were topped with a humorless laugh.

Just like that, every foolish decision you’ve made during the past week slams down on you. You were like a child that was confident they could escape whatever punishments were planned for them, now that they were finally caught, they just wanted to blubber endless apologies in hopes of being forgiven, and that’s exactly what you do. “Please, please just give me more time. I’m sorry. I just need another chance.”

Giran simply rests his head in one of his hands while pondering. “You know, this normally wouldn’t bother me. I consider myself an even-tempered guy. But you just had to go and run, avoiding my calls and hiding away for an entire week. If there’s anything that steams me up,” his brows furrowed, the first physical sign of anger that he’s shown. “It’s when an uncooperative client runs from me. Sorry about your friend, but I had to make sure I got my point across. Now it’s your turn.”

He reached into his violet jacket and pulled out a knife. Most of it was a large bulky handle, topped with a short but efficiently thin and curved blade. A wood carving knife.

As he rose from his chair and approached, you were suppressing the urge to just laugh at your own distress, a habit of yours that has caused more than one misunderstanding in the past.

“Compress, if you will.” Giran’s hand beckoned you upwards.

The man still behind you, apparently named Compress, locked both of your wrists at your back before pulling you up on your feet. “Hey-I-Wha-Wait a minute! We can talk! I can fix this!” You stuttered in pure desperation. Giran was poking at the tip of the knife and testing its sharpness, paying no attention to your pleas.

“It’s a shame, really. I happen to have one major weakness,” he admitted while inspecting his pricked finger. “Women. I’m always going easy on them—giving them more chances than they deserve. I can’t help it.” He grips your cheeks roughly, making you squeak. “And it really breaks my heart that I have to ruin such a pretty lady.”

“You don’t have to.” Your squished puckered lips sputter out, making you look and sound ridiculous. “Maybe I cou—"

The knife hovering so close to your face silences you. “Where should I start?” He wondered. You hold as still as possible while the sharp metal lingers dangerously close to your eye. “Maybe I should take out an eye? Maybe both?” His grip on your face prevents you from turning away, so you shut your eyes instead, accidentally releasing the tears that have been gathering in the corners. You feel his hand lower to hold your chin so that he can press the blade against the side of your face, so close to breaking skin. “Or maybe I’ll carve out your cheeks?” A thumb brushes against your lips and pushes past them. “You are quite a talker. Maybe I ought to go in there and remove that tongue.”

Your eyes remain closed, trying to focus on something else. The full-body tremors that you couldn’t stop, the press of Compress’s body against your back as he held onto your wrists, anything but the deadly blade trailing across your flesh. Every time the cruel man applied pressure, you braced yourself for the pain of cold steel cutting into you like fresh produce, but he would always pull back. It was pure torture and he hasn’t even harmed you yet.

“Hmm, you really are a cute one,” you heard him murmur as the knife trailed down your neck and across your collar. “Do I really want to carve such pretty skin?”

There was a loud groan, prompting your eyes to open and look to the burnt one who left his post at the wall. “For fuck’s sake, old man. How about I handle this so you don’t have to play mental tug-o-war with yourself?”

Giran didn’t seem fazed by the crude way he was addressed. “Oh? What did you have in mind, Dabi?”

Dabi gave an evil smirk of his own as he walked over. “I wonder how badly I can burn a person without killing them.” A scarred hand was placed on your shoulder and you squirmed at the rising heat. “Maybe we can find out together. How about it, girlie?”

You felt the other man behind you shake with a soft laugh. “So cruel, Dabi. I’m a gentleman myself. I could help, but taking a limb or two from such a beauty would be an unforgivable crime.” The implication of what he could do with his quirk made you fear for your arms that were still in his grasp.

“Great. Chivalry isn’t dead in the world of villains.” Dabi rolled his eyes. “You’re not wrong, though. She doesn’t look bad.”

There were too many hands on you. A rough aged hand caressed your throat and jaw, a gloved hand was tenderly running through your hair, and burned ones were shamelessly groping your chest and squishing your breasts. “Stop! What do you think you’re doing?”

“Shut it.” Dabi snapped, not letting up his assault. “Burning you might be a waste. Maybe I should just fuck you instead.”

Your stomach twisted in disgust at the very thought. The other two men pulled back and stilled at the suggestion. This nasty motherfucker wishes he’d get some. At least there were more reasonable voices in the room to keep the sicko away.

“Well now, that’s not a bad idea.” Giran declared with a nod of approval.

‘Ex-fucking-scuse me?’

Compress gave your shoulder a suggestive squeeze. “A vulgar way of putting it, but it’s an idea I can get behind.”

“Then it looks like we’ve all come to a new agreement.” The sleazebag exhaled smoke right into your face, stinging your already watery eyes and forcing several coughs out of you. “I hope you’re alright with that, darling.”

You shook your head fast enough to disorient yourself. “No! This is sick! Get your hands off me!”

“No good, huh? You think I should stick to the original plan?” Dabi dared you with a dazzling blue flame appearing in his palm. The memory of his scorching touch had you freezing up. “I’m just kidding, I don’t give a shit if you want this or not. This ain’t a friendly hookup.”

Compress leaned into your ear, voice sounding horribly close even with the mask protecting you from his lips. “I’m going to let you go now, and you’re going to cooperate with us, right? Surely you know how outmatched you are.”

Yes, you knew, yet there’s a little voice strongly urging you to fight and attempt an escape anyway. But you knew that will only end in pain and possibly death, and even though you were dreading what they had planned for you, the pitiful survivor in you is willing to sacrifice your dignity to stay alive. And so, you nodded.

“Very good,” you heard the smile in his praise. Your tender wrists were released so that he could take the hem of your shirt and slowly begin to pull it up. Your arms remained stiffly at your sides, the oppressive air around the three dangerous villains suffocating and leaving you light-headed.

“Cooperation, remember?” Compress reminded you.

With a hitched breath, you raised your arms, allowing him to peel the shirt off and throw it aside. Dabi wasted no time in exploring your newly revealed skin, while the gloved hands moved on to work at your bra and Giran undid your pants. You try to keep your breathing steady as you’re stripped, even when your pants fall down to your ankles. The second your bra is unclasped, you move to cover your freed breasts, only for the scarred bastard to slap your arms away.

“Quit it, I’m trying to feel you up,” He wasn’t very gentle in handling you, and his texture was so strange, wrinkled skin and the staples keeping him together scraping across your mounds. While he ventured lower, the other two men took their turn with your feminine assets.

Giran was fondling you slowly, but he seemed to be paying much more attention to your face, the face that you were having a very hard time keeping blank while Compress was massaging your other breast way too tenderly. It would help to shut your eyes once again, but that only enhances their touches, sparking goosebumps all over and threatening to pull a moan from your throat. You chose to look to the side and hide away from the broker’s dull gaze, but there was no avoiding Dabi’s hand palming your clothed sex, making you yelp. “AH! Don’t! You can’t just—”

He squeezed you down there, sending a foreign buzz through your abdomen. “What the hell did I just say?” He scolded. “I think I know how to shut you up.”

Giran made an amused hum. “Well Dabi, given you were the one who suggested this, I’ll grant you the honor of teaching her a lesson first.”

Your stomach dropped at the rough lips parting into a toothy grin. “You’re too kind.”

“Just don’t ruin her too quickly, alright?” Compress urged him before patting your back and stepping away. Giran also turned away and returned to his chair, leaning back with one leg crossing over the other.

The only one holding you now was the fiery villain; it had you sweating profusely even without the use of his quirk.

“Now, on your knees,” he ordered and pushed down onto your shoulders, forcing you to kneel. Your chest was tightening painfully when he unbuckled his belt to draw his half-hard cock. It wasn’t exactly any comfort, but it was wholly intact unlike the rest of him. “Start sucking.”

You kept your lips sealed and shook your head, only to have your hair grabbed and yanked back. Your pained cry was all he needed to shove his meat into your mouth. Your shout changed into a gag from the fleshy intrusion.

“Sweetheart,” the pet name was uttered with a mocking venom. “I’m trying to give you the benefit of a doubt and believe that you don’t have the memory of a dead goldfish, but in case you do, let me remind you that we brought you here to hurt you.” That dreaded heat was back, his hand threatening to call those blue flames and set your hair ablaze. “So which would you rather deal with: being carved and burned into a bloody mess, or having to please a couple of dicks? Doesn’t the latter sound more bearable?”

You couldn’t pull back to answer, his hold on your head tight and unyielding, so you nodded.

But for some reason, that didn’t satisfy him. “I need you say it. Come on, you can do it.”

‘No I can’t, you overcooked motherfucker! What do you want from me?’ Having no idea what to do but also not wanting to try his patience any further, you worked your voice around the thick rod and managed a choked and barely comprehensible “mmyeff.”

The sloshed word made Dabi laugh and you felt him twitch on your tongue. “Cute. That’s good enough. Now put that mouth to work so I won’t have to turn your head into a torch.”

Admitting defeat, you moved your head to take in more of his growing erection, wriggling your tongue in a poor attempt to get away from his salty taste, only to stimulate him in the process. You feel him respond with shaky breaths, but the fact that you’re servicing this terrible man doesn’t make you want to try any harder.

Dabi realizes your slow pace isn’t changing and his grumpiness quickly returns. “Oh come on, put a little more energy into it. A quirkless bitch living in the worst part of town, this can’t be the first time you’ve had to suck dick to save your life.” You look up and glare at him, which didn’t do much to intimidate when you were blowing him at the same time. He only smirked. “If you don’t pick up the pace, then I’ll have to take charge, and I don’t think you’d want that.”

You push yourself to put in more effort, taking in more of his now fully swollen cock and gagging pathetically. Despite what the singed shithead had guessed, you weren’t experienced with this. Your sex life boils down to a couple of hookups. This hectic existence with its cast of untrustworty characters wasn’t suitable for any kind of serious relationship, and sexual favors were something you tried to avoid as much as possible. Those rare nights with a partner were nothing like this, and you sure as hell would never ask for a fucking audience. A wisp of smoke nearby reminded you of Giran’s presence.

The sick broker was just sitting and watching with interest, his smirk still present. He seemed satisfied with just watching you in this humiliating state. Compress stood out of sight, but he was most likely doing the same. It made you just want to curl up and hide from these hungry eyes.

You heard a tired sigh over you as Dabi adjusted his grip and was now holding both sides of your face.There was no warning when he thrusted forward to jam himself into the back of your throat, the sting making your eyes well up.

“Sorry, but I think I’ve given you enough chances,” Dabi panted while reveling in the feel of your mouth all around him. His cock slid back and allowed you to breathe for just a second or two before plunging back in.

Breathing through your nose was the only option as he pumped in and out of your throat with little restraint. You gurgled helplessly and tried to push at his thighs to keep him from going so deep, but that only made him chuckle and fuck your mouth more roughly. He was in complete control now, so all you could do was take it as best as you could. Saliva gathered as your throat was violated, some of it oozing past your lips and running down your chin.

“Look at you, turning into a drooling mess for my cock. You like having your mouth fucked just like a pussy?” Demeaning words were spoken between his grunts, commenting on the depraved state of your face—you could only imagine how you looked at the moment with your extra lubricated mouth allowing him to move in and out more easily.

The erratic slams of his hips against your face signaled that this torture will be ending soon, as long as you could endure the assault on your windpipe that was making you dizzy. Any cry of distress or plea to slow down was reduced to wet gurgles and more spit bubbling from your mouth. With a teeth-clenched growl, Dabi presses your face flush against his pelvis, engulfed by his musky scent as cum shoots straight down your throat. Black spots were appearing in your vision with both your nose and throat blocked. ‘Can’t breathe…can’t…’

“Hang in there, just need to make sure you swallow every last drop.” He keeps your head locked in place so that you could feel every spasm as he feeds you his seed. Finally, he releases you and steps back, allowing oxygen to rush into your lungs as you coughed and wheezed.

“Whoops, maybe I went a little overboard,” Dabi joked at your shaking form that was hunched over hacking up a mixture of saliva and semen. That fucking bastard…

“You think?” A sarcastic remark sounded from an approaching presence behind you. Compress kneels beside you, placing a hand on your back as your coughing fit slowly died down. “That’s not my ideal way of punishing a lady. Wouldn’t you agree, Giran?”

You didn’t have the strength to look at said man and the amused expression that he was undoubtedly wearing. “I’m not picky myself. It was a good show,” you heard him say. You can physically feel your dignity leaving you.

“Well, I can give you a better one.” The phony gentleman grabbed and straightened you up. You noticed that he had removed his hat, his head concealed by what may be a ski mask. It was strangely symbolic—beneath all of that pizzazz was just another unforgiving criminal. “Dabi certainly did a number on you, didn’t he?” He observed, fingers tracing over your chest and the drying drool that had trailed down. You heard a “damn right” from Dabi who had returned to his spot at the wall. “Don’t worry, darling. I won’t leave you so roughed up.”

His words did nothing to alleviate the growing fear as his hand wandered down to your panties, fingers pressing against the damp cloth. “Oh my…and here I was thinking he was being too hard on you. Looks like you didn’t hate it as much as I thought.”

You shuddered at the small chorus of laughter from all three men. Dabi took the opportunity to taunt you again. “I had a feeling she was the type that loves being treated like a hole. The bitch probably would have gotten off if I went a little longer, not that she deserves to.”

“Ah, but I think she does. In fact,” Compress pulled the underwear to the side and touched your slick directly, making you gasp. “I’d say she deserves more than she can handle.”

“N…St…op…” Your voice was hoarse from the abuse your throat had gone through. His fingers began soft strokes against your glistening folds, a feeling that wasn’t unpleasant, but you held back your whimpers to avoid both the vocal strain and giving him any gratification.

The gloved digits moved skillfully across your sensitive lips, kindling a hot desire deep inside of you. No, you really didn’t want to be feeling that from him. Your own hands curl into fists when you feel him prod at your opening, just barely penetrating you and making you bite your lip in a painful effort to suppress a moan.

He looks right at you; you can only guess what face he was making. “Trying not to make any noise, are you?” His free hand removed the patterned mask, revealing chocolate eyes and a smile that wasn’t at all sweet. “I sure do love a challenge. Then again, I already know that I’ll win.”

Any retort you had prepared died on your lips when two fingers slipped into your heat, unable to hold back your whimper even with your mouth closed. “There it is,” he purred close to your face. “But I think we can do better.”

Your cunt throbbed with each brush against your walls. He couldn’t go too deep in your current position, but that didn’t deter him as he pistoned in and out, flexing his fingers every which way until he found that forbidden spot that made you wail. The white hot heat was threatening to smother you completely. You found yourself grasping his arm and weakly pushing at it, silently begging to make it stop before you burst.

‘Don’t look ahead…Giran is watching…don’t look ahead…’ The mantra repeated in your head, echoing loudly to distract you from the unstable knot in your core. The inner chant was to no avail—several hard presses against your nerves had you crumbling beneath the searing heat of your climax. With no restraint remaining, your broken whines rushed out of your convulsing body and echoed through the room. A thumb circles your clit and prolongs the all-powerful sensation.

“Try to bear it, darling.” Compress says to you, but his voice sounds so far away, drowned out by the vibrations starting from your pussy and spreading all over, engulfing you. Even after your orgasm passes, the assault on your sensitive womanhood doesn’t stop, the sensations becoming painful. You would have fallen over if Compress wasn’t holding you, his arm wrapped around you in an insultingly affectionate embrace as he continued to overstimulate you. The words falling from your lips were weak and incoherent, the occasional ‘no’ and ‘too much’ being heard.

Sobbing in the villain’s shoulders, you can make out the blurred violet figure in your foggy vision, still lounging and taking silent delight in your struggles. You just barely noticed the slight curve of his lips as Compress forced you to cum again, pitting your muscles against another wave of excruciating spasms. This time he did let you collapse, your body sprawled out on the floor as your walls continued to clench.

“Hmmph, not bad.” Dabi can be heard, and his voice alone makes your throat burn again.

Compress was still close, curiously squishing your juices between his fingers. “I could have gone for longer, but she still needs energy for the main act.”

You hear a dark laugh from Giran. “So generous of you Compress. What would I do without you gentlemen? Just do me one more favor and remove the rest of your clothes.”

“Of course,” the showman moved over to fully strip you. You stayed limp as he pulled your drenched panties down along with your pants that were still hanging at your feet, then moving on to remove your shoes. You were now completely bare, body shivering despite the warm still air of the room.

“Alright, miss. That’s enough rest. Time to get up and come over here.” Giran orders coolly. There was no urgency in his voice, but you knew you shouldn’t keep him waiting. If only your entire lower body wasn’t screaming. Compress sensed your plight and took hold of your waist, prepared to pull you up.

“No no,” Giran held up a hand while stomping out his cigarette. “She’s a big girl and can stand on her own.”

Compress simply shrugged and retreated, leaving you to force your aching arms and legs to move and lift you up.

Even after being violated, you still couldn’t resist covering your chest and mound as you slowly approached the man that you deeply regret ever getting involved with. You tried to ignore how gross your body felt—the salty fleshy taste lingering on your tongue, the wetness that continued to run down your  legs, your bare feet shuffling across the old dusty floor. There was a prominent bulge in his pants, revealing just how much this was all exciting him.

“Sit down and have a ride on me.” It was said so casually that you needed a moment to comprehend.

Dabi barked impatiently. “Hey, don’t just stand there like a modest statue.”

Realizing that Giran isn’t going to take out his erection himself, you lean in to open up his pants, fighting every urge to pull your hands away as they work at the buttons and zipper, pulling down his underwear to watch his cock spring out. He didn’t seem to react, only watching your face like he has been since you’ve been tossed into this damned place. You stare at his waiting dick until you accept that you have to get closer, standing over his legs before lowering yourself down onto his lap. You have to grab the soft yet firm organ to keep it in place as it touches your opening.

He was so close, smoke-scented breath hitting your skin. There was no way to avoid his gaze at this proximity. He was free to see all of the shameful details on your tear-stained face.

It pains you to admit that Compress’s fingers made the stretch more bearable as Giran’s head pushes into your cavern that was still sensitive from the previous man’s onslaught. You had to place your hands on his shoulders to balance yourself as your hips sunk down on him, breaths shallow throughout your poor attempt to stay relaxed and not tighten up. Several inches later, you had him fully sheathed inside you.

“Good. Very good.” His voice was low and rugged, eyes closing briefly so that he can take in your surrounding heat. “Now start moving. I didn’t bring you over just to keep me warm.”

You didn’t have enough pride left to protest, so you did as instructed, slowly lifting your hips before bringing them back down, ignoring the strain put on your thighs. Giran placed a hand on your ass, the contact making your pace falter for just a second. He looked so at ease as you bounced on him that you wondered, if it was just the two of you, perhaps you could have taken this as an opportunity to attack. But in the current situation, it would only lead to certain death. The thought leaves your mind as quickly as it came.

“Three days.” The two words cut through your weary breaths and the squelch of your pussy. You give Giran a look of confusion before he specifies. “I’m giving you three more days to collect the money.”

The news surprises you enough to halt your hips, an action he doesn’t approve of.

“I didn’t say stop.” The warning in his tone had you instantly moving again. He lightened at your compliance; he sure knew how to flip his friendly mode on and off like a damn light switch. “Very good. I’m trying to show you some more mercy here. Don’t ruin it for yourself. Anyway, you need to hurry and do whatever you can to get that money. Steal, call some old friends, maybe sell your body? I don’t think you’d be half-bad at that.” He gave your rear a light smack, making your walls squeeze him in shock. “If you don’t have enough by the time we meet again, your lovely body won’t stop me from peeling your skin off a second time. Are we clear, sweetheart?”

The fear from his threat grips your chest as you keep trying to please him, moving in a way that keeps his dick away from your g-spot. “Yes,” you whimper through your pants.

Giran caught on to what you were doing. “I’m not convinced.” Both of his hands take hold of your hips and push you down, forcing stimulation on your hypersensitive bundle of nerves. A scream rips through your burning throat. “I’ll say it again: Are we clear?”

“Yes!” Your voice cracks and tears are flowing down your face once again.

“You won’t run from me again?”

“No! I swear I won’t!”

“Good girl.” He was the one setting the pace at this point, forcing you up and down in pursuit of his release. There was another agonizing orgasm growing in your abdomen, but the hands controlling your movements weren’t giving you a chance to escape the inevitable storm.

The final slam collides his throbbing cock with your cervix, and the pained pleasure has you quivering in his hold, crinkling his shirt with your white-knuckled grip as you cried out from every foul spurt into your womb. His soft groans were heated against your neck.

His pats of approval on your back are enough to push your worn figure into his chest. He chuckles and rubs you like a lover that didn’t just force you into the most disgraceful moment of your life. “I’m glad we could come to an agreement.”

Despite your limbs feeling like pure lead, you wanted to get off this man as soon as possible. “Please just let me go.”

His smile filled you with a fresh wave of dread. “Soon, darling. But I need to make sure I’ve made my point. I think the other two gentlemen would appreciate a turn.”

You heard the quick footsteps before he even finished, scarred hands grabbing and pulling you off of Giran’s softening cock. Fuck, the two had been so quiet for the past moment that you forgot about their presence.

You jolt at the feel of Dabi’s revived hard-on pressing against your back while Compress stops right in front of you, his own length bobbing freely. You flinched at the damp gloves caressing your chin and lips.  “Are you ready to return the favor? Don’t worry, I won’t treat your mouth as badly as Dabi did.”

“Sadly,” The crueler man behind you added before pressing down and bending you forward, your head now leveled with Compress’s waiting dick.

“Open up for me,” he orders with a hand resting in your hair. Your jaw still ached from the last cock in your mouth; you hoped that he truly was going to at least be more gentle as you parted your lips and took him in.

Dabi rubbed up and down your spine as he watched. “Well look at you, such an obedient little bitch now.” He began to knead your ass cheeks before spreading them, your body tensing in fear as a finger toyed with your back entrance.

“I’m not a fan of sloppy seconds, guess I’ll have to take another hole.” It was the only warning he gave before his thickness was pushing forcefully into your unprepared ass. The searing pain was as intense as his quirk, your muffled shrieks vibrating against Compress and making him moan. Dabi smiled at your suffering. “Can’t complain, ‘cause this sounds a lot better. Hope I don’t do too much damage in there.”

He fucked you as hard and fast as your tight passage would allow, pushing the other villain’s dick further into your throat with each thrust.

Soon, they will switch places. And then they will take you separately. And Giran will stay seated, taking pleasure in watching you break.

Your mind eventually wanders to what will happen afterwards, if there is any possible way to right the biggest wrong you’ve ever committed…or if you simply had three days left to live.

It feels like luck is done saving you.

--------------------------------------------

tagging @mothwithteeth​ because their thirst for Giran inspired me. Go check them and their awesome work out!

[hauntlikeaghost0]

drowning | d.m

summary: you are draco’s lifline.

warnings: little bit angsty but in a fluffy way

a/n: wrote this on my phone so ignore weird spacing but i think i really like it?? idk hehe

༒༒༒

draco’s life was falling apart. slipping and tumbling, crashing down around him faster and faster as time went by; and there was nothing he could do but watch. watch as the rubble buried all his friendships, all his confidence and innocence, all his happiness. and all he could do was prey and beg and just hope that people will forgive him when it was all over. hope and beg and prey that despite seeing his face on the opposite side, despite seeing him next to the people that tore down their home, they won’t see him as the enemy. they won’t see him as evil. but just the battered and broken boy that didn’t have a choice. the battered and broken boy that couldn’t lose anymore.

as he looks out over hogwarts from his place in the astronomy tower, he mulls this over. no, not mulls, he grapples, he obsesses. mind racing repeatedly over how hopelessly fucked his life is about to become. he wonders desperately how he could have possibly let it get this far, he wonders what would have happened if he’d had just said no. surely his parents would be dead now, possibly himself, maybe even you.

now, himself and his father, he could deal with, he could accept. karma’s a bitch and boy did the malfoy men know how to anger her. but his mother, she was the only person to ever make him believe in love, in care, in hope. she would do anything for him, despite him knowing he could live a hundred lives and never deserve that. and you, oh god you. the only person to ever make draco feel as though he was lovable, not worthy of love, as he is convinced he never will be, but somehow, by some sort of miracle, you loved him. you were stubborn as hell and drove him insane but, praise merlin, did you care for that boy so fiercely and so passionately that he almost believed you when you told him he was a gift. he had some bumps and bruises, some scars that would take time to heal but he was precious and beautiful. irreplaceable.

the school grounds were bathed in darkness, stars littering the deep navy sky, reflecting off the black lake as though it were a mirror and dancing around before draco’s eyes. despite the late hours, a few lights still remained, glowing warmly from scattered windows around the castle, inviting the boy to dive into their saftey. an invitation he ignored. although his entire life was constantly casted in shadows, draco still finds a strange comfort in the darkness. the idea of going unseen but still being able to see it all, and, he supposes, it’s just all he’s ever known. he finds darkness at home, darkness at school, darkness in his mind, even some darkness in you, as no one can truly avoid it.

he drags his cold hands over his face, pressing them into his eyelids and watching as patterns appear and swirl beneath the pressure. the only thing that calls his attention away is the familiar sound of your pattering footsteps, climbing the old creaking stairs behind him.

“draco?” you call out as you reach the final step, catching a glimpse of the instantly recognisable platinum hair, only made harder to ignore in the silvery moonlight.

“over here.” he replies, not moving from his position of gripping the metal railing. you instantly recognise the tension in his shoulders and the stiffness of his neck. his mind is elsewhere, lost in what if’s and worst case scenarios.

you take a deep breath, heart already breaking for the boy infront of you, begging yourself to keep it together for him. to be the solid shoulder for him to lean on while everything feels so unstable. “i see you” you breathe out and make your way closer.

you arrive at his side but his eyes stay fixated right ahead, so many emotions swirling in his icy blues that you wonder whether there’s anyone there at all. his hands still grasp the bar infront of him so tightly his knuckles are white and all you can think to do in that moment is lay your, slightly smaller, hopefully warmer, hand atop his.

“you are the best thing that ever happened to me.” you speak out, mirroring his position and fixing your eyes upon the silhouettes of two birds dancing and twirling across the ever darkening skyline. “you know that right?”

you feel him turn his attention towards you, vision locking intently on the side of your face as though trying to discern something so impossibly complicated.

meeting his eyes, you raise your brows. not in a teasing way, but almost so as to open up more of your face to him, to put on display all of your emotions for him to read, desperate for him to find complete sincerity. he only shakes his head.

“i don’t deserve you.” is all he says, eyes glassy but the ghost of a smile appearing on his lips.

rolling your eyes, you reply: “do you think i give a fuck about what people deserve?” there’s a playful tint in your voice, only barely disguising the complete seriousness. draco lets out a short laugh at this, turning to lean his elbow against the railing, finally allowing some lightness to return to his features.

“draco fucking malfoy,” you jab a finger into his chest, “if i could, i would hand you the world with three tiny finger holes in the top and let you use it a fucking bowling ball, me being each one of the ten pins. i would let you repeatedly crush me with the world, which you hold in your hands, because i feel that’s what you deserve.”

“now, i feel that’s a bit rash.” he says, gaze softening even further and a more solid grin making its way upon his face. there’s humor in his voice and it adds a warmth to the night.

“it’s not up for debate.” you snap back, keeping up your serious facade for another two beats until draco rolls his eyes, chuckling to himself quietly.

the sound of his laughter and the beautifully curved grin on his lips brings a sort of joy to you that you can’t quite understand. a sense of pride, not at the fact you managed to make him smile, but at the fact he still can, after all he’s been through. when that beautiful, damaged boys face lights up in the way it just had, everything feels right in the world, nothing can go wrong, nothing can harm you, because draco is happy, draco is happy. it may only be for a moment, a brief second in a lifetime, but it gives you hope, it makes you warm. and you did mean it when you said that boy deserves the world, he truly, truly does.

a silence settles between the two of you and your attention shifts back to those same two birds, now sat comfortably atop one of hogwarts many spires, pressed up against eachother, keeping eachother warm.

“can i have a hug?” a timid voice speaks up from beside you. it’s such a weak and frail sound from someone who appears so casually strong that your heart clenches in your chest, turning your attention towards the delicate boy to your left. you smile up at him as warmly as you possibly can and slowly place a hand on his pale cheek, dusting your thumb lightly over the soft skin and relishing in how it heats slightly beneath you touch.

you only nod in response, dropping both your hands over his shoulders and drawing him into you, so closely and so tightly, he wonders if you’ll ever let him go. he decided he definitely hopes not. instantly, draco is wrapping his arms around your waist, holding you just as securely and somehow managing to bring your body impossibly closer to his, hips and chests flush together. you feel the butterflies fly wildly in your stomach, a sensation not uncommon when being around draco, as he nuzzles his head into your neck, inhaling deeply and making goosebumps shoot up across your body at the feeling of his soft breath against your skin.

“you deserve the world, draco malfoy.” you breathe out softly, sincerity laced thickly in your words, begging for the damaged boy to hear it and willing for him to finally believe it.

draco only grips you tighter, no words escaping his lips but an almost silent sniffle coming from his place snuggled into your shoulder. again you feel your heart in your throat and, in order to fight back your own set of tears that are balancing so dangerously close to falling, you begin to move from side to side, swaying oh so gently like branches in the wind. you cling onto draco and he to you, realising what you’re doing and moving just the same. you place a hand softly on the back of his head, sliding your fingers into his hair and drawing a hum out from the back of his throat that makes your knees buckle slightly.

you continue to sway for a few more moments, draco grasping you like the lifeline he saw you as and you holding him tenderly, savouring the feeling of his closeness as though it were the last drop of oxygen you’d ever receive. he begins to sway you in a circle, turning the pair of you around until your back was against the cold metal railing. you flinch slightly at the feel of the icy iron through your thin bed shirt, followed by the loss of draco’s weight against your neck, however the coldness is soon replaced by a flooding warmth when your eyes lock on his. the amount of emotion seeping from them brings a lump to your throat. there’s still the ghost of the hopelessness that always resides in his steely blues but right now, as he stares and you so intensely, all that can be seen is love. suffocating and overwhelming, soft and beautiful, completely overflowing, powerful love.

it takes everything in you not to scream, yell from the astronomy tower that you could never be more happy because he fucking loves you and you fucking love him and everything’s shit but you’re both in love. so intensely and passionately, in love.

and then he opens his mouth and the words spill like silk from his lips, curving around your heart and tying a beautiful bow atop it. a name tag hanging from the ribbon reads his name and you are sure it will never say any other for as long as the pair of you live, and even then after:

“i don’t want the world, dear, i only want you.”

then the tears spill and his lips meet yours. there’s fire and passion behind the kiss that has him pinning you to the balcony, hands tights against your waist. fire and passion that has you curving into him, hands lost in his hair. but the tears dancing between both your hot lips brings a sorrow to the kiss that makes your heart clench, a neediness that comes only from a broken boy, clinging to you with lust and simultaneously hopeless desperation. draco nips on your bottom lip lightly causing you to gasp softly which he takes as permission to begin the dance between your tongue and his own. each time you go in for more he treats it as receiving another breath of life, the love you’re presenting him with, filling his lungs and quenching his thirst better than anything else ever could.

finally, you pull back, gasping for air and running your tongue over your lips, weirdly addicted to the taste of draco mingled with both of your bitter, salty tears. he does the same, signature smirk adorning his features before he gently leans his forehead against yours, dropping a kiss to your nose that makes you’re heart swell.

“i love you, (Y/N), endlessly.” he breathes out, hand coming up to run his index finger delicately along your bottom lip.

“i love you too draco, endlessly.”

and in that moment, draco smiles. really, truly earnestly, smiles.

his world may be crumbling around him, he may be drowning in the darkness that spills from every person and every crevice of his mind; but, right now, on this balcony, with you in his arms and him in yours, it’s not the moon or the stars that’s keeping the astronomy tower alight. it’s you. it’s you and the love that you allow him to feel, the love that, when he’s with you, seeps from his very bones, pouring out of him and drowning the both of you.

and what a beautiful way to die.

𝐹𝑖𝑛

[jordanstrophe]

This One is Mine, part 2

F L U F F

Previous              Next

CW: Whump, Pet whump, Whole lotta fluff

Charles kept a tight, but gentle grip on the man’s shoulders as he guided him to the exit. There were small chairs stacked against the wall, he sat the man down next to him. He wasn’t sure if he was going to try and bolt for the exit, so he kept a heavy hand on both his shoulder, and forced the man to face him. 

He was silent, with tears staining his face. His expressions were both empty, yet dazed, as he was too nervous to make eye contact. 

“Look at me please, this is very important.” Charles said, tilting his head up with two fingers. His eyes took their time finding him, as he made his best effort to control his breathing.

“There you are.” He smiled, placing a gentle hand on his cheek, thumbing away a tear.  “My name is Charles, do you have a name?” He asked. The man only took a shuttered breath, before his eyes darted around the room behind him.

“Look at me.” He gently reminded, as the man tensed, and immediately returned eye contact. “No one is going to hurt you, okay? Please try and talk to me, because I’m not taking you out of here unless you want me too. I need you to communicate with me here.” He said. The man closed his eyes and took a shaky deep breath.

“M-Michael.” He muttered under his breath, squeezing his eyes tighter, bracing himself. 

“Hi Michael.” Charles smiled. He opened his eyes and looked up at him, eyes glossed over, as he tried to comprehend if he was in trouble or not. “Listen Michael, this is kind of a last second call, and I’m not really prepared for this, but I can take you out of here. I can take you home with me, and I promise I won’t hurt you, and I’ll do my best to make sure you’re taken care of.” He said. He tried to keep his tone hushed and soothing, like calming a scared animal. 

The man’s eyes went wider, but he didn’t move. He didn’t say anything. Charles let go of his shoulders, and gently slid his hand under his to hold it. Michael immediately squeezed it as he began to tremble.  

“Hey.” Charles soothed, placing his hand back on his shoulder. He hoped he wouldn’t have a panic attack here, as he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. “It’s okay if you don’t want to. I won’t do anything you don’t want to do.” Charles reminded. 

“I’m scared!” Michael cried out, hunching over and burying his face with his hand. “It’s alright.” He whispered, he placed an arm around his neck as Michael fell forwards onto his chest. His heart broke for the kid, he’s clearly been through too much if he’s questioning someone offering a safe place. This system was so messed up and twisted, but there was nothing he could do to end it, but maybe, he could save this one.

 Charles wrapped his arms around him and cradled him as he cried, and gave him as much time as he needed. After a moment, he pulled himself out of Charles' grasp. “I’m s-sorry.” He muttered, wiping away his tears.

“You’re okay, just say yes, or no, and it will be done. But you have to make a decision now.” He said. “Yes!” He whimpered out, already immediately back to tears.

“P-please... I don’t know y-you... But a-anywhere is better then h-here. I-I’ll do my best to behave... Please, I p-promise I’ll behave, just t-take me away! please...” He stuttered out in a sob, holding himself defensively. 

All Charles needed was the first word. He stood up and coaxed him onto his feet and over to a woman seated at the desk, who pretended she wasn’t just eavesdropping. He grabbed a tissue off the desk, and handed it to Michael, who was behind him clinging onto the back of his shirt. “Thank you...” He muttered.

“Give me the papers for this one.” He said to the women, who bowed her head before rooting through some files in the back. 

After the papers were signed, the door slammed open, and in walked Malcolm, sweating, nervously clutching his arms with wide eyes.

“CHARLES! Please... Old friend! Any one of them! You can take any of them! We have the most gorgeous obedient ones! Absolutely stunning! Beautiful! Take two! TAKE THREE! But please! Don’t take that one!” He cried. Miles walked in behind him, looking quite confused. Or concerned? Both, probably.

“He’s.. He’s my favorite! I only get favorites like... Once a month! I’ve trained him! Kind of.. We were working on it, okay!? Just don’t take my baby!” He practically cried with a stomp, almost ripping what’s left of his greased hair out. Charles only responded by holding up the signed piece of paper. Malcolm shrieked in frustration, sounding like a gurgling animal. 

“I’ll.. I’ll make you a deal! A business partnership! I’ll cut you a check! Anything!” He cried. 

 “I’ll make you this offer.” Charles signed, folding up the paper, and handing it to Miles. “You let me walk away with this kid without trouble, and I’ll give you a glowing review of this tour I took. No criticism, no shade, no mentioning you going back on your word over a Pet you didn’t even have personal ownership to. And I won't mention that deal you cut with Nimrah three months ago.” Charles smirked. 

Malcolm’s face went white as a ghost.  “How.. How do you know about that. Er, what deal? I don’t know who Nimrah is.. I-” He stuttered, then cleared his throat.  Charles chuckled “I run a blackmail business, what do you think?” He beamed, clapping a hand on the man’s shoulder.  “Cheer up friend! Remember? The takeaway is a glowing review!” He smiled. Michael made no attempt to follow Charles any closer to Malcolm. 

“F-fine! I’ll take the review! I’ll just have to find a new favorite now...” He hissed, crossing his arms. He glanced over to Michael, he was still doing his best at remaining unnoticed. “Baby, don’t forget me!” He cried, doing his arm stretch towards him, that could be longing, or threatening. No one knows. Michael pretended not to hear, as he held himself uncomfortably. 

“Charles! Dinner tomorrow, your place, at 5!” Malcolm hollered, as Charles pulled his coat off the rack. 

“Busy tomorrow.” He responded. 

“Dinner at 6, tomorrow!” He continued. 

“Still Busy!”

DINNER AT 7?!” He shrieked.  “Malcolm this isn’t going anywhere!” Charles exclaimed. He took his coat and draped it over Michael’s shoulders. He was shorter, about shoulder length, so the coat hung down to his knees. “Lets go sweetheart.” Charles muttered, steering Michael to face away from Malcolm, who was still trying to come up with an excuse. 

Miles grabbed Charles shoulder and leaned in, whispering “What do you want me to do if the kid runs for it?”  Charles took a moment to think about it, before looking down at Michael, who seemed quite content inside the coat, with his long bruised fingers clutching it around him.

“Do what it takes to get him back.” Charles muttered with a sad sigh. Part of him wanted to let the boy go, but he knew better. Letting him go would doom the entire business if word got out about their operation. 

 Miles struggled a bit to push the heavy door open for them, as Charles wrapped his arms around Michael’s shoulders. He tried his best to make it feel comforting, rather restricting. Michael was probably just as unsure how to feel, if he should run or not.

In an instant, the air was filled with a soft comforting warmth, warmer than it was inside. Michael gasped as he felt the warm sun touching his face. He squinted up at it as best he could. He didn’t remember when he saw the sun last, or felt it’s warm embrace. It was pretty. Even prettier than the glass chandeliers that haunted in what felt like his prison. 

The parking lot was dreary, but was surrounded by several trees outlining it. He let out a desperate whimpering noise when he noticed them. He held onto the coat with one hand, and tugged Charles' sleeve with the other.  “Look.” He muttered. “Mm? Charles motioned, leaning forward so he was level with him. “Trees.” He whispered, staring at them with sparkling eyes. “Yep, trees.” Charles chuckled, gently rubbing his shoulder. Michael’s direction began to change, as he was pulling at Charles trying to get closer to the lush green plants. 

“Oop, easy there.” Charles beckoned, pulling him closer. He let out an embarrassed yelp, as he hunched his head down, and pressed his weight back onto Charles. “You want to go see?” He asked. He looked up at him nervously with the most pitiful expression as Charles nodded. He let Michael take the lead, as he picked which one he wanted to see. He wandered toward a dogwood tree that had small white flowers beginning to grow. He got more anxious the closer they got. Miles chuckled, as Charles tossed him the keys, as he left to start the car. 

He gently held out his hand, and slowly touched a flower petal with his fingertips. He was afraid it was unreal, like it would disappear as soon as he got close, or some twisted trick of an illusion. He got more comfortable, as he held onto a delicate white flower with both hands. 

For the first time, let himself give off a small, sweet smile. Charles got a glance of it, and couldn’t help but to let off a grin for himself. He knew at that moment, despite what all his morals told him, he did the right thing.

“I love it.” Michael whispered. 

[plunnies-n-shit]

Foreigner’s God

Bleach -- UraGrimmIchi -- Post-Canon

Ichigo gets trapped alone in the Soul Kings Palace after Yhwach is defeated.

Kisuke, injured and exhaused, still works tirelessly to open a way back. It only takes a couple of days, but. Time travels differently in the soul kings palace than it does in the other worlds.

By the time they get to ichigo, ichigo has been trapped alone for a full year

The ichigo they find is practically feral. Scared, half-hollified from desperation, weak from starving himself/not taking care of himself, but it still takes grimmjow hours to get ichigo subdued because hollow instincts are p much the only thing ichigo recognizes as not a delusion

It takes even longer to convince ichigo that any of his other friends standing there are real too. And even longer for ichigo to start healing.

He clings to grimmjow pretty hard because his hollow instincts tell him that grimmjow is real and even when the Soul Kings Palace was filled with ghosts and hallucinations Ichigos hollow instincts have never lied to him.

Most of ichigos madness is just from the isolation. Prolonged complete isolation does horrible things to people.

at some point ichigo scored huge gashes into his arms and thighs that healed ugly and even Orihime cant heal them completely. (Or. He doesnt let orihime close enough to heal them.) 

(His throat is torn up from screaming, so his voice is a low painful rasp. Hes so badly oversensitive to everything: touch, taste, noises, smells)

(Yuzu teaches grimmjow how to make jok bc thats all ichigo used to be able to keep down the few times she can remember him being sick)

Grimmjow fucks up every pot and ichigo still eats every bite bc its not food the Palace created for him, the Palace food is almost uncomfortably perfect and grimmjows food is flawed and kinda gross sometimes But its better than the Palace food.

They eventually realize that ichigo cant leave the soul kings palace. But because of the time transition it can sometimes be months if not years between visits from Ichigo's perspective. Grimmjow and kisuke are the only ones who stay with ichigo fulltime.

(Eventual grimmuraichi? Maybe >:3c )

(Benihime can reconstruct anything she touches so kisuke devotes hundreds of hours to learning how to deconstruct the stone of the palace and reconstruct it into plants trees and flowers.)

(Also. Transichi transurahara. Theres only one dick between the 3 of them)

(Well. Trans Enby Urahara. His gender is Science)

("You cant possibly want to stay here."

That perfectly-cheerful facade falters for just a moment as Kisuke freezes. "Whatever gave you that impression, Jaegerjaquez-kun?"

"Lemme see," Grimmjow starts counting on his fingers. "Cat-bitch, little demon boy, little demon girl, mr tall dark and kido-happy, your shop, your deal with the shinigami, all your experiments.... am i missing any?" 

Kisuke very slowly shoves the box he was unpacking aside so he can boost himself up onto the table and face Grimmjow. "There is no experiment that i cannot run here," he soothes. "And.... I have lived a long time, Grimmjow. You two are fairly young in the grand sceme of things, and if my predictions are correct you will live much longer than any soul or shinigami could hope to live. But--" his smile turns wry; the second honest expression Grimmjow's ever seen on that face, though Grimmjow would love to forget the first. "-- this old man would love nothing more than to spend the rest of his days at your side, and Ichigo's. If... if you two will have me, of course.")

(Grimmjow pulls Kisuke into a kiss, the slow, languid kind that makes onlookers feel like voyuers. "Youre not that old yet, geta-boshi")

(Kisuke turns himself into a vizard so ichigos instincts can recognize him)

(Grimmjow's like "...... ok thats kinda hot")

(Especially since grimm has to give urahara the post-hollification beatdown. Its not ichigos raw strength, but theres something about uraharas sharp-as-knives cunning that gets grimmjow a little hot n bothered.)

(Ichigo is their king long before he ever finally takes the Soul Kings throne)

(mostly to make sure Kisuke gets reincarnated somewhere good)

(And when grimmjow passes the final stage of hollow evolution and back into the cycle, and Ichigo finally allows himself to give up the throne, theres a boy with snow-white hair and a persistent cough waiting patiently at the gates.)

[halothenthehorns]

TLTNL- FIGHT AND FLIGHT

Remus wasn't fooled, he'd been watching over Harry's shoulder for just this. His eyes burned with every word that wasn't the fatal blow of Sirius' death, and still was just as much relieved they had another few moments to cling to that hope. He snapped forward and pried the book away from Harry, even as he tried to cling to it in protest.

"No, you guys shouldn't-"

"And you think you should?" Remus demanded as he matched Harry's glare. It felt like they were playing a real life version of Snape's task from so many days ago. Which was the deadly part of this? Who would it be, forced to say the words of what truly did their family in? Letting Harry get through it all by himself though would not be tolerated by a single one, and now surrounded on all sides as they all were, it would be the only chance they had to live through it.

Harry very reluctantly handed it over, and at once began pressing a trembling hand to his scar. Now he had nothing to occupy his hands, but knew their torturous pain of only having to listen as at any moment, the vision could overtake Harry again...

Harry had no clue if Hermione even had a plan as he followed just behind her and in front of Umbridge's wand. He didn't even dare ask her, for Umbridge was literally breathing on their necks.

Sirius still wished someone would offer speculation, a joke, anything! He kept hoping that somehow, any moment now, he'd drop in front of Harry with the magical story of his escape, he'd been the one to put Voldemort back in his place.

Hermione led them down past the Great Hall where the din of voices were chatting over dinner,

James made a little squeak noise. He could feel the time pressing into them in here, turning them more petrified by the second as they were forced to listen to this, and it had been even longer in Harry's time, how much longer did Sirius have!?

  it seemed incredible to him there were people twenty feet away just laughing about the exams being over without a real care in the world.

Lily had been shaking nonstop for quite some time, but that caused yet another tremor for a wholly other reason. If only her sacrifice had meant something more. She felt as if she'd only bought her son a spare few years, but he just kept suffering a life that no one should ever have to live through.

Hermione was walking swiftly out onto the grounds. Umbridge asked if it was in Hagrid's place?

Hermione scathingly said he'd have accidentally set it off.

"Play to her own idiocies," Remus muttered absently, his mind really not at all on this as he felt they were only getting further away from the help Sirius so needed. Hermione should have led her down to Snape's office, maybe he'd have done something useful for once in his life and stunned this troll bogie for them and then explained the plan of how to help Sirius!

Umbridge agreed at once, the half-breed oaf, then she laughed.

Harry had the urge to turn around and seize her by the throat, but resisted.

"I don't know how," Sirius said honestly.

His scar was still paining him through all this, but it did not yet burn white-hot as he knew it would for a kill.

Sirius wanted to shake off their concern again, but it was getting harder by the moment as his own chest restricted painfully. What he would give for Harry to never have known that pain, but he didn't seem able to find that hope as easily as his friends Harry would find some way out of this for him. After all, when Voldemort wanted you dead...and even James hadn't been able to fight him off...

Umbridge impatiently asked where it was, a touch of uncertainty in her for the first time as Hermione kept walking right towards the Forbidden Forest.

"Does she only just now wonder if she's being played?" Sirius tried desperately for that chipper tone at her idiocy, but it still came out more chilling as Harry shivered, he could still hear Sirius' screams of pain.

Hermione gestured in here of course, where students couldn't come across it. Umbridge was clearly more apprehensive now, but insisted they stay ahead of her.

Harry asked could they at least have her wand if they were going first.

"If she were that stupid, killing her would hold almost no fun," James said deadpan.

Umbridge said no at once, the Ministry put a higher value on her life than his.

"Which really goes to show the Ministry's priorities, oh, no wait, we already knew they respected dung more than anything," Lily muttered.

Harry tried to catch Hermione's eye again, trying to convey waltzing into the Forest unarmed may be the stupidest thing they'd done yet.

Remus suddenly had their attention far more than anything yet. The Marauders couldn't help it, if they'd been concocting some kind of plan, they'd have initiated it somewhere in here too, an area they honestly claimed to know better than even the castle. The intrigue finally brought them off of Sirius for even a second, what was Hermione up to?

She however took no notice of him, ploughing through the thickest bushes without care, and Umbridge's shorter legs were having trouble keeping pace.

Lily honestly wondered if that could be the plan, Umbridge certainly didn't know her way well enough, she could get lost.

After ripping her robes in bramble she demanded how far in it was.

Hermione said very, with confidence that Harry didn't have. Hermione wasn't on the path leading them to Grawp,

James lost any train of thought he might have cobbled together. If Hermione did have any idea in mind, it may well have been just that, in hopes Grawp would take care of their splinter and they could get back the real problem. Either she was lost or- he couldn't think past anything but wishing more than ever this future would never come.

but the one he followed three years ago to the lair of Aragog.

"Uhoh," Remus muttered, now convinced whatever plan she may have was now nonexistent and she was scrambling as desperately as them for a way out of this.

Harry tried to warn her of this, asking if she was sure they were going the right way, but she gave him the same steely answer and ignored him as she stepped with wholly unnecessary amounts of noise while Umbridge tripped right over a tree and fell. Neither of them paused to help her up.

"There's no way I'd consider you a person if you did," James stated.

Harry instead took her moment of distraction to hiss at Hermione to keep it down, but Hermione said she wanted to be heard.

That caught them all off guard, Harry blinking slowly as he tried to get his eyes to adjust to this. He still felt more than anything that feeling for what Sirius was going through, it was impossible to erase, but he could distantly recognize something new trying to trump that, some new fear coupled with something long overdue...

They kept going until the canopy overhead took away all light, and Harry had that feeling he was being watched by unseen eyes.

The boys had felt that way many times in the forest, and though it wasn't always a bad thing, it certainly wasn't something they wanted Harry to be experiencing right now! It was only another delay, another few lines they'd have to hear of Sirius not being safe.

The next time Umbridge demanded how much farther, she was cut off by an arrow thudding into a tree just above her head.

Lily startled so bad her wand was pointed at Remus before she'd even recognized the motion. Between Sirius a breath away from not having a future in that thing and now Harry being drug around the most dangerous place for him to be wandless, she was far past her wits end with anything else to do but curse the next thing that came too close.

Remus only paused for a moment to watch her before going back to reading, unable to concentrate long enough to even check if she stowed it away. Normally the sight would have terrified him from someone so genuinely formidable, especially her in this situation, but if she wanted to take this from him when he didn't have his answer for Sirius yet she'd have to try harder than that.

They were not alone, out of nowhere the sound of hooves surrounded them on all sides, and Umbridge kept Harry in front of her as if a human shield.

Sirius' face twisted in disgust, his hands still itching to crack her head in. His godson was trying to risk his life for him, and that soiled cat litter was using him to cover her own disgusting flesh!

Harry watched the binding in Remus' hands crack dangerously, they all flashed with murder again and he worried it would be far too long before they passed off of that. As pent up and stressed as they were for Sirius and now him, it seemed a miracle if Umbridge didn't enact another break away from this place more every line. Yet that same detached part of him pleasantly informed, while giving him another sock to his temple he had no need for with the rest of his pain, that hopefully something was going to come of this. Not good, that emotion was impossible to grasp right now, but something not bad.

He got himself free of her grasp just as the fifty centaurs came into view, bows drawn and all pointed at the three of them.

James made that noise again, and Sirius desperately put his arm around his best mate. It was the only thing holding him together now, realizing that Harry and Sirius truly were both in life threatening situations, and he couldn't do anything for either of them! This all somehow grew successively worse every single day, he was literally being torn in two for his family. There was no sign of his ghost coming back this time to offer anyone anything!

They remained very still as they were surrounded, Harry ignoring Umbridge's little whimpers of terror and instead spotting Hermione's triumphant smile.

"This was her plan!" Lily shrieked, and Remus actually did recoil in fear from her now, from this life somehow Harry survived and honestly none of them had a clue how at this point. "To make the centaurs angry!"

"I, can actually see this one, a bit," Sirius whispered, his eyes still too wide but certainly there was something in his voice now holding to that. "She knows exactly how Umbridge is going to treat these guys, and they're going to go ballistic, maybe kill her if we're lucky. Yet those two are still young, innocent the centaurs have said themselves, so if they play this right, they'll walk right back out of there without her."

"I, well yes but she-" Lily still failed to truly put her heart into this even if she could see the logic. She was sick with worry for one of her boys already, but in all fairness it's not like she'd come up with an alternative, she was still reeling from what was going on with Sirius. Hermione's level headedness may be their saving grace as she tried to wave Remus on without full blown panicking.

Magorian stepped forward, and Umbridge pointed her trembling wand at him.

Remus scoffed low in his throat in disgust, easily imagining such a pathetic response from something able to fight back against her. A braver person than her would have cowed in front of a herd of angry centaurs, but after all she'd done to Harry and too many innocent children, whatever happened to her next because of this would be so sweetly deserved even Umbridge's voice couldn't manage it.

Umbridge declared herself as Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic, Headmistress, and High Inquisitor of Hogwarts.

"She is no such thing!" Sirius vowed, he'd never view her as anything more than a lower life form than the mice Mrs. Norris spat out for not being edible enough.

Magorian was not impressed by her Ministry status.

Umbridge was though, trying to steady her voice as she recited their laws that under the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, an attack by half-breeds such as them on a human-

"Now she's done it," James said distantly, though he'd never been less invested in Umbridge in his life. If this had been going on any other time than when Sirius needed him...

Hermione told her not to call them that, but it went unheard as many centaurs around them roared in outrage for the slur.

"Trying to distance herself, a very good idea right now," Remus muttered, his fingers tapping restlessly against the book as he still recognized how dangerous this was for Harry. Just being a human in her presence right now was a danger, no matter their age.

Umbridge cared nothing, still going on loudly that they fell under the category of near- human intelligence-

"That's right, keep insulting them," Sirius never thought he would be encouraging Umbridge to do anything, but this was a better distraction from his own problem than he ever would have hoped to ask for. "I've always wanted to hear of dismemberment by centaurs."

but even her voice failed as Magorian shouted they considered that a great insult, their intelligence far outsripped hers!

A grey centaur demanded what she was doing in their Forest?

Umbridge was now shaking with as much fright as indignation.

"I never would have thought she could really be this dense," Lily hissed. As foul as they'd all found her, they never would have thought she'd be this stupid. Even the lowest life form must realize by now who was the dominant one in this environment.

She reminded them they only lived here because the Ministry permitted it.

"Dead." James said flatly, every single part of him praying that was the only death of this one.

An arrow flew so close to her it caught a few strands of her hair before again leveling out in a tree, now with a wild neigh echoing from all sides that left Harry unnerved.

"Now I know where your mind still is if unnerving is all you're getting from this," Remus shifted uneasily, still all to fearful Harry and Hermione would be caught in the crossfire any second, and yet hardly wanting to flip back any moment and hear of what Voldemort was doing to Sirius. This was a true torture in itself.

Umbridge shrieked at them, then shot the spell Incarcerous at the nearest one.

"Oh no, I was wrong," James conceded. "Now she's dead."

"And here we are, not even able to enjoy it," Remus muttered, his hand always on the next page, never wanting to keep going until the precious words arrived Sirius had escaped.

Ropes flew from her wand and encircled him, she'd gone too far. The centaurs rushed her in a rage, Harry recognizing Bane to be the one to lift her right off the ground with one arm and lear at her. Umbridge's wand fell, and Harry's heart gave a tiny leap of hope as he reached for it, but a hoof smashed it in half.

"Honestly I don't think it was worth it," Sirius grumbled in disgust. Harry would get his wand back, no need to degrade himself into using that tarnished wood once used by a frog thicker than any pondscum.

She was dragged away kicking and screaming, her pleas meaning nothing as she vanished into the distant forest.

Remus vaguely recalled a few myths he'd heard of what centaurus did when they really wanted you dead, and honestly if even a portion of them were true he'd have felt genuine fear under any other circumstances, but now he was just wishing this had all been done in the beginning to her.

Harry rubbed at his scar, not on his forehead, but the back of his hand, his eyes actually burning hatefully for someone other than Voldemort or himself for just a moment. Umbridge's screams and pleas for help had meant nothing to him then or now.

"Was she really begging you to actually help her?" James honestly couldn't believe that one, even the Dursley's wouldn't really be so stupid!

"Yes," Harry said, his right hand clenched into a hard fist, "but I didn't bother of course, after all, I must not tell lies."*

Sirius grinned crazily at Harry, patting his knee with far too much enthusiasm for this. It all fit together rather well in his mind, he'd take on Voldemort all over again if he could get these set of circumstances to happen to Umbridge any day, they couldn't have set up a better revenge if they'd tried!

The others did not agree, but none could deny either they weren't just a bit grimly pleased something had been worth it in all this mayhem and heartbreak, though it would mean nothing if the one most important to them didn't make it through.

Screaming non-stop, her voice grew fainter and fainter until it could no longer be heard over the trampling of hooves still surrounding them.

"Not good," Lily hissed, chanting that under her breath now as she removed her nails from James and let them dig into her own palm instead, the fear twisting her innards relieving nothing. She couldn't erase the idea Harry was still in the middle of all this.

James reached over and put her hands right back inside his, the only thing stilling the shaking, he didn't care the little pinpricks of her fear pushing into him instead, it was yet another reminder, a way to distance himself from seeing this happening to Harry on one level and still seeing Sirius just beyond that in a position he'd die before allowing himself to stay in at Voldemort's feet.

Harry was yanked by another centaur grabbing the back of his neck, the centaurs now demanding what should be done with them.

One pointed out they did not hurt foals, but another reminded they'd been the ones to bring her here.

"Shit!" Lily yelped, startling in place all over again. The centaurs had been watching the whole time, they knew Hermione's hadn't been a complete ruse!

"This could still work in their favor," Remus tried desperately to placate. "She had them at wand point this whole time, if they play this right they could pin it all on Umbridge forcing them to go in there."

The one holding Harry even pointed out they weren't so young, this one was nearing manhood with a hard shake to Harry.

"There's a compliment somewhere in there," James managed softly as he watched his son, his own age, that sting always present in the back of his mind he'd never truly seen him grow up, that these centaurs had seen his son at more stages of his life than he had.

Hermione pleaded they were nothing like her, they didn't care for the Ministry, they'd only come in here so they could drive her off.

"Gah, she was doing so good for a moment!" Remus found a new shade of pale all his own in fear for that line.

"How did she manage to say the worst possible thing," Sirius groaned miserably, now realizing their earlier fears had been preemptive, Hermione may have earned herself a death sentence along with Umbridge for that one alone.

Harry at once knew she'd said the wrong thing, as the one holding her stamped his feet in fury, telling Ronan they were no better than the rest of their kind with their arrogance!

"Don't ever let them meet Sirius or they'll know that's true." Lily tried to say that in her normal voice she always spoke to him with, it was easier on her heart for just a second to look him in the eyes and as always give a poke at him.

Sirius responded as always, flashing her a grin, but it was still lost on the others, as Lily only managed to remind them they'd give anything for Sirius to be in this with Harry rather than where he was.

Demanding of her she just expected them to do their work like obedient ponies?

Hermione pleaded she'd only been hoping they'd help, but she was going from bad to worse.

"I fear we've reached past the point where words help," James managed to get out, no longer able to support his own weight and would have long since fallen over if he wasn't already down. He could feel he was about to be reduced to tears any moment now, because even looking at Harry and knowing he made it out alive, he still hadn't stopped rubbing his scar this whole time. This still wasn't the biggest fear of his night, and there was only one thing worse than fearing for Hermione's life right now.

The centaur holding Harry reared up in outrage, actually taking Harry's feet off the ground for a moment as he shouted in anger they would not permit these ones to leave, boasting about the centaurs doing their bidding!

Sirius hadn't thought it possible to be more frightened for Harry than he was moments ago, still knowing his pup could slip back into Voldemort's mind any moment when this fight between them ended, but somehow he'd certainly found a way to go past that into another level of fear. What did those centaurs do to him before someone came along to the rescue!

It seemed decided they'd join the woman!

Lily retched, one hand finally leaving her husbands now to tangle with Harry's as well, fingers twisted so tight nothing could have pulled them from her.

Centaurs were an ancient race who would not let this stand, they were superior, they-

Whatever else they were went unheard.

James spluttered something that might have been relief for this finally being cut off, though this only meant his worry for Sirius went right back up to the top now that Harry was free. 

Suddenly the two were dropped, all hands back on weapons as a new rumbling shook the forest.

"A proper warrior," Remus muttered without surprise, the centaurs were clearly trained to recognize threat over arrogance, something Umbridge was now being taught.

Harry hurried so he was crouched over Hermione protectively as Grawp poked his face in.

"You said what now?" Sirius squeaked.

"I-" Remus' voice failed as he couldn't repeat that one. According to Harry they hadn't been anywhere near where Grawp was tied up, so how was he, why...

Harry grew impatient with their surprise even as he felt his own pitiful relief for the save he didn't feel he deserved. He was almost angry for the rescue, like he knew he'd deserved to stay in that forest and the centaurs punishment would still be better than the rest of this memory. He couldn't just let himself sit around with that or he'd explode, but Harry's trying to keep going only spurred Remus back into fully grasping this. He certainly hadn't forgotten as his knee stayed tight pressed to Sirius, that stupid annoying voice of his always near the back of his ear, and he filed whatever emotions he had for anything else away for later.

He gazed down, unimpressed at the herd as his dull eyes traveled over them as if searching for something he'd dropped, there were broken ropes trailing his ankles.

Sirius was still making some noise with his throat like he was trying to attempt speech. They'd hardly forgotten about Grawp, but this never would have crossed anyone's mind! How had he even gotten loose? A giant was actually walking freely around their forest! He could no longer decide if it was fear, or indignation keeping him listening.

Clearly not finding what he was looking for, he said Hagger.

Remus couldn't help but falter from surprise again. He didn't know any words in Giant, but he honestly didn't feel that's what Grawp wanted either, that didn't exactly sound like he was asking for directions back to his mountain now he'd gotten himself free.

The centaurs remained tight in their fighting stance as Grawp repeated this with insistence.

Lily covered her mouth in surprise, wondering at that all of a sudden, and how he hadn't been able to say Hermione's name quite right either, but surely he wouldn't...

Grawp stooped, looking more closely than ever, still saying Hagger.

Hermione gasped as she whispered to Harry he was trying to say Hagrid.

"But, why would he?" James demanded, feeling woozy from too many things going on, and now he could add his son being crushed by a giant again to that list even if it was by accident.

"I think he actually grew to care for Hagrid," Lily hummed, so constantly near tears of late from her eyes constantly flickering to Sirius this almost set her off again.

"I, wow, I did not see that coming," Remus muttered, though admittedly touched for Hagrid, imagining the big guys face if he'd seen his brother now.

Grawp spotted them among the sea of colors, and rumbled Hermy in recognition.

"Now we know Hermione was right," Sirius blinked spastically, though a laugh was still too far gone for him.

"Bless Hagrid," Lily said with a hard catch in her throat, she couldn't imagine what would have happened to her Hare Bear if their game keeper wasn't the way he was.

Hermione shook in surprise as Grawp demanded where Hagger was.

"We all want Hagrid back," Harry muttered, he'd actually stopped rubbing at his head for a moment to gaze at the book with longing before turning wretched eyes to Sirius. There were a lot of things in his life he wished he'd had back, Grawp should consider himself lucky Hagrid really was just, inconvenienced right now.

Unsatisfied with her lack of answer, Grawp's hand reached out for Hermione, and Harry tensed ready for a fight, prepared to bite, kick or do anything he could to keep him off of her.

They all twitched with unease, that fight or flight instinct wanting to kick in here more every moment, none were crazy enough to think they could fight off a giant. Even with the confidence now Grawp wouldn't really do them harm, it was not a pleasant thing to be thinking of Harry so casually tossed over Group's shoulders when he realized he'd caught the wrong person.

He didn't get that far, he'd shoved a centaur right off it's feet and batted him away trying to reach for her, and this was what they'd been waiting on, as fifty arrows were shot right into Grawps face.

Lily gasped, the urge to vomit becoming more every moment. Now she could easily imagine this horrific scene, and both sides so furious, and their son still caught in the middle of it all.

Grawp roared, bringing his hands up to take the shafts out, but only digging the points in deeper. He began thundering around chasing the centaurs, who all scattered and fled.

Harry and Hermione were left, shaking with fright as Hermione whispered if he'd kill them all.

Harry said he wouldn't be too fussed if so.

"I, can not, believe that just happened," Sirius shook his head slowly. How did Harry's life keep getting crazier by the hour!? They still hadn't even gotten to the part where Harry was going to go kamikaze up to the Ministry for him!

He was not paying attention to anything around him anymore, as his scar gave another twinge of pain and a thrill of terror possessed him as he realized how much time they'd wasted.

James wasn't sure how many times his heart could stop beating before he keeled over, but he was sure he was close by now. He could feel that time too, like Sirius' heartbeats were even now being numbered!

They were even further than before from rescuing Sirius, and Harry turned with fury on Hermione for this, demanding what now?

"Ah Harry, don't take it out on her," Sirius said. He felt so faint, getting a first hand account of his own death, not able to tell Harry for one moment what he was doing was wrong for trying to stop it, but at the same time there was almost a relief, a calmness in him Harry had never put himself in danger for his sake, again.

"Thought that was my line," Harry muttered, his eyes still holding a dead look that continued to horrify them more than anything, as if nothing he'd yet done had even made a difference, Sirius' fate was already sealed. They couldn't believe that though, they wouldn't!

Hermione reminded they'd go back to the castle, and Harry shouted at her by the time they managed that Sirius would already be dead, kicking at a tree in temper.

Remus felt a hollow laugh, watching that reaction alone, afraid to look at Harry and see his eyes again. If that was the worst reaction Harry had, this whole ordeal really could be bearable, please let that be the worst thing Harry do!

Hermione insisted it was the only thing, they couldn't do anything without their wands and they still didn't have a way to get to the Ministry.

A voice behind them agreed they'd just been wondering that. They turned to find their friends they'd left in Umbridge's office coming towards them, all looking worse for wear as if having been in a fight, but also looking quite pleased with themselves.

"Well, at least someone's been productive," Harry seethed hatefully, never having felt more useless in his life than he did in this moment, still wishing he'd chased Grawp down or those centaurs. He couldn't understand where his mind was coming from with this, it just couldn't be true there really was no out for Sirius, he must be misunderstanding something!

Harry asked how they'd gotten away, and Ron explained they'd all let off some stunners at once, a disarming charm on one, and Neville did quite the Impedimenta jinx. Ginny's was the best, she did a Bat Bogey Hex on Malfoy, he was still covered with the things when they'd left.

There was some long lost part of James he couldn't find right now where he and his friends should have been laughing at that, congratulating little Ginny and how far she'd come.

"I think Harry more meant how'd they got their wands back," Sirius said, clearly finding this the most interesting thing to think about right now no matter how much anyone else disagreed.

"I'm wondering if it was Luna," Lily offered, still fighting off the urge to keep screaming now that the kids were back to just trying to figure out what to do, at least before they'd felt the movement! "Her complacency, could have caused a sneak attack, got their wands away to start this."

"Prongs, I really can see why you fell for such a devious woman, concocting that idea. I'm sorry I didn't appreciate that more in school." Sirius told him pleasantly.

James shook his head from side to side with that tight feeling still restricting his heart from truly smiling back, but Sirius could always drag him back to this world no matter how lost in thought he'd get. "Guess I should be rather glad, don't need you pining after her as well, she had enough blokes doing that."

Lily swatted them both good naturedly while Sirius rolled his eyes.

Ron concluded they'd seen them heading into the Forest from the office so they'd followed.

"And they just managed to find them in that great big-"

"Shh," Lily shushed Sirius before he could interrupt again, she was going to go ballistic if she didn't hear of Harry on the move soon, they could feel now more than ever Sirius was running out of whatever time he had.

Ron asked what they'd done with Umbridge, and Harry briefly explained the centaurs and Grawp. Luna asked who Grawp was, and Ron informed Hagrid's little brother.

"Great, now we're all caught up!" James said through gritted teeth, this had been the longest hour of his life, and he never would have thought anything could trump the moment Peter had betrayed him, and he'd never hoped something else would!

Harry testily cut in Sirius was still alive for now, but they had to come up with a solution before that changed. They all fell silent, all clearly growing scared of this insurmountable problem.

"Go back to the school!" Remus seemed aghast that wasn't Harry's first thought. "Make damn sure Snape got the message! Hell, Umbridge's fireplace is open now! Go back and use that!" He stopped quickly though, as his practically shouting these things was doing nothing but making Harry more miserable by the second. They could all feel how much he was blaming himself for this, and Remus would never want to feel as if he were making that worse. He honestly believed he wouldn't have been any more clear headed in the moment, more than likely standing around and panicking just like Harry in trying to understand what he could do to help, so he just kept himself going, any answer would be better than watching the poor kid beat himself up over this.

Luna said they'd fly as if that were the most obvious thing in the world.

'Oh yes, running off to get brooms is the most logical thing,' Remus couldn't help that mocking thought which he firmly kept to himself as it was no more helpful than last time, he just wanted to be on the move already even with his Padfoot right here by his side.

Harry irritably said that was no help, Ron was the only one who had a broom that wasn't being guarded. Ginny pointed out she had one-

Harry corrected that wasn't the point, she was too-

Ginny said fiercely she was three years older than him when he'd first faced Voldemort.

"She's got you there though," Sirius managed a real chuckle.

"She's going to get herself killed!" Harry hissed, somehow his panic climbing even worse than before and he hadn't thought that was possible, but now the reality his friends were in danger  really was pushing him farther than ever. His temple gave an extra hard throb, he could feel that pain and panic climbing every second, soon he wouldn't be able to tell past from present and he'd go darting out of this place himself to go rescue a Sirius right next to him.

Neville jumped in to remind they'd been in the DA to fight Voldemort, or had that all been some game?

"I think Neville really deserves something there," Lily said softly as she watched Harry bury his face in his hands with resignation. "He has the least understanding of what's going on, he doesn't even know who Sirius is. Even if he has put the name to the one in the papers, that makes this all the more unbelievable of the lad."

"Yeah, great, he's a bloody saint," Harry got out around a tight throat, pushing his glasses off his face for a moment to rub at bloodshot eyes, but quickly fixing that so he would never have to stop looking at Sirius for a moment longer than he had to. His mother was right, they all were, he was more grateful and longing in his life for the worst moment in his life just for those friends he no longer had at his side even with his family he had now.

Harry exchanged a look with Ron, both thinking the same. If they'd been able to pick members from the DA, it would not have been these three.

"Who would you have picked?" Sirius scrutinized that one oddly. "Cho? Zacharia? Collin? I never heard better options than the ones you've got."

"They're the ones asking to be there," James agreed, blinking fast to try and push that cursed vision from Harry's mind out of his for just one moment, it wasn't working.

Harry was still trembling worse than ever, wanting to go and save Sirius already, but now feeling as if he understood that anger at himself, if any of his friends got hurt because they'd gone with him...

Harry said through gritted teeth none of this mattered as they still didn't have a way to get there, though Luna cut in to simply again remind they were going to fly.

"She can keep saying that all she likes, it doesn't mean an Occarumpent is going to appear!" Remus ground out.

He hardly noticed the odd looks he was being given and jerked his head back up to glare at Sirius as he interrupted to ask what that even was.

"An occamy and an erumpent, keep up Sirius."

Sirius raised his hands in surrender, he hadn't been expecting Moony to be mocking Luna's weird creature ideas right now.

Ron said it must be nice if she could sprout wings at will, but none of them did!

Luna reminded there were other ways to fly, and Ron demanded if she was going to summon a Kacky Snorgle to her?

Luna corrected Crumple-Horned Snorkacks couldn't fly,

"Yes, because that was the part she caught on," Remus rolled his eyes heavily, feeling the pressure more than anyone he'd wasted all of his breath on things that weren't getting Sirius away from danger.

but they could, and Hagrid had said they were very good at finding places.

Harry turned to see Luna gesturing at two Thestrals looking on at them curiously from the shadows.

"Oh," they all muttered in genuine surprise. Only one of their members had been able to see those things in their day, and for the first time they wondered how often he'd seen those in the Forest without even mentioning it to them. This still held nothing to their honest thought this was the most ridiculous and long winded way Harry could use to get there! Yet berating him over it would do nothing but make them all feel even worse, they just wished someone other than Luna had offered up an idea, which was more than likely where Moony's ire with her currently was.

Harry went towards them at once with glee, and he watched them toss their reptilian heads wondering how he'd ever found them ugly.

"You can still find things ugly and useful," Lily said primly with a sideways look at Sirius, who openly ignored that one, there were some things even he wouldn't joke about, and now wasn't the time for those kinds of jokes on her part.

Ron was looking slightly to the left of where the Thestral now was, confirming it was those mad horse things you couldn't see unless you'd seen someone snuff it.

"Lest Ron's as lovely as ever," Lily muttered, more for herself that time as Sirius' eyes did brighten with humor at that one.

Hermione asked how many there were, and when he said two, she said they needed at least three.

"She could just ride on the back of one of the boys, they're tough things," James grumped, if this was how they were going to travel, he wanted this to be done with!

Luna corrected six, and Harry snapped fine, but unless they found more Thestrals this was still-

Ginny pointed out more would come, squinting more above where the Thestral was,

"Credit for trying?" Remus said snippily, well aware he was clutching the last page of his chapter and only more problems had been added to this already paralyzing situation!

as Harry and Hermione were still covered in droplets of Grawp's blood from when he'd been shot in the face, the two reeked of it and that's probably what had drawn these here in the first place.

"Why does Ginny know that?" Sirius muttered in surprise, she wouldn't have had this lesson yet.

"Luna clearly knows a lot about them, maybe she's had a chat with Hagrid about them and told Ginny about them," James forced himself to look Sirius in the face as the two sat around and just discussed something for a moment, even though both faces were more sickly pale than any full moon had ever done to them. They should have had the most practice worrying about their friends, and yet nothing could prepare them for what this all felt like.

Harry tried to seize the idea he and Ron would go ahead then, and Hermione could stay back to attract more- but Hermione protested this at once, and Luna said it wasn't necessary as she spotted six more arriving, noting they must really stink.

"No more picking on her either Moony, I like her," Sirius muttered, an actual smile trying to twist away his grimace for his situation for the girls bluntness.

"Well that seems to leave only you, I'm sure I'll have plenty more to complain of," Remus huffed.

Harry snapped fine, time to get on then.

Remus gave a tense sigh, somehow his hands fisting harder than ever as he eyed Lily who was now watching him expectantly. Another one down, and it hadn't happened yet. Maybe, if they just kept getting through more of these, it wouldn't at all...

HPHPHPHP

*No one should deny movie Harry's zinger really was brilliant and I regret nothing putting it in here.

[fullmetalscullyy]

an angsty prompt that i think could work for roy OR riza, if you want it!! (a drink glass slammed) "I am a WAR HERO—" (clenched fists) "You were a CHILD—barely an adult—clinging to naive ideals about how the world works, and you're a fool if you think that you can change a damn thing." (a sigh. fists loosen)

hi anon!! your mind btw... this was a good one!! thank you so much!!

not me tentatively posting this in the hopes i did such a good prompt justice and that it sounds all right

please heed the warnings before reading

rated: m | words: 1774 | warnings: adult themes, allusions to suicide, alcohol abuse, unhealthy coping mechanisms 

“Sir, that’s enough to drink.”

Hawkeye reached across to grab his glass, but Roy moved it out of reach instantly, affronted she would even dare to try. He should have gone to the bar. At least there she wouldn’t have tried such a thing. In his own home, with no one else about, was another matter.

“Excuse me?”

“That’s enough –”

“Hawkeye.” He barked at her, anger replacing his irritation.

“Sir, this is not the way to do this.”

“Just one, then I’ll get to work,” Roy deflected, turning his shoulders so that the glass was shielded from her wanting hands. He was also ignoring the fact that it was past midnight, and he should be asleep instead of turning to a bottle of whisky.

“What work are you going to get done in a drunken state?”

“I’ll get it done,” Roy snapped. “I have a plan,” he lied. He had nothing left. “It will change everything –”

“You won’t,” Hawkeye fired back, hands clenching into fists. “Not like this,” she shook her head. “Nothing will change while acting like this, burying yourself inside a bottle like a coward.”

“Coward?” He echoed her claim, disbelief and outrage flooding him. He slammed his tumbler onto the table, spinning to face her. “I am a war hero,” Roy growled, cutting Hawkeye off. He’d survived that hell and come back home. He at least deserved to drink to forget –

“You were a child – barely an adult – clinging to naïve ideals about how the world works, and you're a fool if you think that you can change a damn thing.”

Breathing heavily, Hawkeye continued to glare while Roy’s face slackened in his shock. Her words cut into her chest painfully, each a dagger inside his heart. His true feelings were being laid bare, ripped unwillingly from his mind. It was all correct, he just didn’t want to admit it. He couldn’t. If he did, he would break completely.

Both war-weary soldiers were frozen in a stalemate, glaring at one another.

Roy had set out to achieve greatness and do something good in the world… And it had all burned around him. How could he accept that his dreams, ideals, and views of the world had been painfully twisted into reality? It had not been gentle or forgiving. That innocent, optimistic, young man had been turned into a mass murderer with the snap of two fingers. Everything had been ripped from him. He’d failed. It was of catastrophic proportions, and Roy didn’t want to admit that just yet. His mental state was fragile, so could only handle so much at one time. Drinking was the only coping mechanism he had. He didn’t deserve anything else.

However, she’d been just as bad as him over there, thinking she could change the world… Only for it to come crashing down and turn to ash horrifically before her very eyes.

And who prompted that decision from her? Roy’s inner voice hissed inside his mind, as unforgiving as the truths that were being laid bare tonight.

Finally, a sigh passed through Roy’s lips, the air dragging itself from his lungs. His gaze dropped, hiding from the heat of Hawkeye’s stare. The side of Roy’s palm tingled from its contact with the table below. The sensation dragged him back to the present. The grip on the glass loosened, blood returning slowly to the tips of his fingers.

“We were both children,” Hawkeye corrected herself, voice softer and apologetic.

“We were. We still are.”

“Sorry, that was harsh and over the line –”

Roy shook his head. “No, you are correct. You’ve never held back before either, Hawkeye. Why stop now?” As a reflex, he lifted the glass to his lips and took a large swig. The time when it returned to the varnished wood, the contact was gentle. The fight had left him.

“So, not a war hero.” Roy’s eyes never lifted from the tumbler. “What would you call us then?”

“War criminals.” Hawkeye’s reply was sharp yet simple. There was no hesitation in her reply and no shying away from her truth. It was spoken with such conviction that it made Roy pause for a second.

“War criminals…” His fingers circled the rim of the glass. That was correct. They were. There was no hiding from it and there wouldn’t be for the rest of their lives. The question was, what to do now?

“Of course. That was no war. It was an extermination.”

The bile that had been roiling inside his stomach continued to do so, every so often jumping up into his throat. It was like a game to see how much it could torment him before it removed itself from his stomach completely.

Roy pushed the tumbler still half full of whisky away from him, moving it out of reach.

He knew his goals, knew his destination, but in his stupor Roy was like a lost little boy, just like Hawkeye had said. In that exact moment he was floundering, desperately trying to cling to life while at the same time thinking it would be so much easier and better for everyone if he gave up that fight. In his current emotional and mental state, he had no idea where to go now. He’d ask Hawkeye for help however he’d brought this down on them both. He couldn’t take anymore from her.

“Where do we go from here?” It wouldn’t hurt to get a second opinion.

“Up, Sir,” Hawkeye replied without hesitation. “There’s no other direction to go.”

“Do we deserve to live after the atrocities we caused?” His heavy lids blinked slowly as he glanced up at his old friend. That question had been weighing on his mind heavily for days and the outcome he’d arrived at was not pleasant.

“We must.” Hawkeye was determined but her voice was a whisper, unable to rise any higher. “We have to keep going so this never happens again. We will make a change.”

“Sacrifice ourselves for the greater good?”

“We will bear it, so they don’t have to.”

It terrified Roy to think about the journey to come. Sleep was already non-existent for him. It wasn’t worth it because the nightmares would come. How much longer could he cope? How much longer could he ride this out?

“Sir?” Hawkeye called to him, dragging himself from the depths of his dark mind once more. She was concerned. A tiny step forward was taken, moving closer, before coming to a stop. “Roy?”

“Yes?” His voice was rough, trembling as it passed through his throat. Clearing the lump there, he met her eyes while moisture swelled within his. He was so tired. He needed direction, purpose, something. Anything that would tear him away from his thoughts and his memories would be Roy’s saving grace that night. He was a desperate man, on his knees, begging.

“We’ll get through this. Together.”

Looking in her eyes, he saw the determination in them. Another hesitant step was taken forward and Hawkeye gently slid her fingers atop his. Her touch was ghost-like, barely there but held enough pressure to make him shiver. Roy was frozen, lips parted in his shock, but unable to look away from Hawkeye. His old friend. His saviour on more than one occasion.

Hawkeye’s eyes were on their hands instead. Her digits looped around his, the opposite to her soothing touch from before. They clung on tightly. “Together.” Roy had to strain to hear her whisper.

Surging up from the chair he wrapped his arms around her in an embrace. Coming together at once, their kisses were feverish and desperate. Hawkeye – no, Riza – was equally as frantic as him. Her hands shoved at his military jacket as she whimpered, trying to remove it from his shoulders while his fingers loosened hers, revealing the crisp white shirt underneath.

“Don’t leave me,” he pleaded in a whisper against her lips.

“Never.” Her reply was immediate, claiming his lips with her once more.

A sob escape Roy as a tear fell down his cheek. “I – I mean it, I –” Roy pulled away, gripping her upper arms tightly. She was pulled back from him as Roy bowed his head, averting his eyes. His lids were squeezed closed tightly. He knew this was wrong. Roy couldn’t and shouldn’t be asking anything from her after what he’d done. He shouldn’t be doing this either –

A gentle hand on his cheek guided his face back up. His jaw unclenched as he looked at Riza, feeling desolate in every way. She didn’t deserve this kind of behaviour from him.

“Never,” she stressed. “Not tonight, not ever. We –” She swallowed thickly. “We have too much work to do,” Riza added in a quiet whisper, as if afraid speaking it too loud would break him there and then. “And we’ll see it through together. But…” Her hand dropped as she bit her lip. Quickly, her eyes moved away from Roy’s, looking off to the side in shame.

“What?” His prompt was gentle even with his hoarse voice. Roy was still blinking away tears as he listened intently to her, hanging onto every word.

“I need you.” She was anguished, ashamed to admit it, just like him. Roy could sympathise completely. “I know I shouldn’t – we shouldn’t – but I can’t –” Her eyelids fluttered closed, expression pained, as Riza took a moment to collect herself.

“I need you too,” Roy admitted quietly. He hated to do it, but it was the truth. He was at rock bottom anyway, how much further could he fall now? This self-destructive behaviour of theirs was mutual but maybe…

Just maybe, Roy thought, it would keep them both alive for another night.

“I need you as much as you need me.”

Riza stepped forward into his embrace once again, cupping his face tightly in her hands.

This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. This wasn’t healthy. It was better for his physical health than the alcohol, but it was still wrong. His actions didn’t warrant him getting to hold her, cherish her, and love her. He wasn’t in the best frame of mind either, but neither was she. It was bad.

All Roy knew was Riza. All he wanted was Riza. And it was enough to get him through the night, to forget for a moment, and to live another day.