#just two people & at any time you could be endangered / attacked just kind of because. we could go well beyond 30 tags but like ofc as

[unproduciblesmackdown]

you always knew marble hornets is good b/c fr from 2010 on the Many fans &/or the particularly Enthused &/or Dedicated &/or Lasting fans was noticeably to us all like hmm tending to be many people who are big fans of aLex Guy from the tunnel rip Brian Tim Questions Investigations Answers....i presume it still skews that way. i.e. Tastehavers i.e. Marble Hornets Is Good b/c it can resonate with queer experiences unlike horror that straight people are like "Hell Yeah truly this is good" about, which is a waste of everything

[kaluxsims]

If things were better, I could be all "Happy Pride!" here, but Pride Month is tough this year. I'm not happy. I'm sad, scared, and angry. Right-wing American politicians are doing everything they can to endanger trans people. The main focus of their attacks is trans kids. There are all kinds of lies being spread about what it means for children to be transgender and what gender affirming care for them looks like. Like all children, trans kids are figuring themselves out. Supportive, compassionate parents understand this and let them dress how they want. That's what's at the heart of my first Pride Month post this year.

Today's download lets ALL children wear ALL EAxis children's clothes. I did this to go along with all of my child CC being CU from now on. (Well, from a month or two ago on.) I have more to say about real life trans kids, so please read on after the download.

It's very simple. All EAxis kids clothes are now unisex. Many of them should have been from the start. What's masculine about a dark red Western shirt? And why can't a boy wear pink if he likes it? All kids should be allowed to express themselves how they like.

There's no swatch here, so have some Body Shop previews:

There are similar mods out there, but mine doesn't require any special installation (just put it in Downloads) and there's an All-In-One option if you have UC or all EP's and SP's. I got so much help from @goingsimcrazy and @potentialfate-sims while I was working on this. Thanks again, both of you!!

Note: DO NOT USE THIS IF YOU USE DEFAULT REPLACEMENTS THAT CHANGE THE MESH. It works fine with replacements that only change the texture.

'Nother note: Several EP's don't add any children's clothes, so there isn't a package for those EP's in the pick-n-choose version. Nothing's missing except for the xmas elf costumes, because...I hate them. Sorry. They're mostly unisex already, I think. I have hiders for them in my game.

Download:

UC/All-In-One: SFS or MediaFire

Pick & Choose: SFS or MediaFire

So back to my rant about trans kids...

Anti-trans propaganda will try to tell you that evil queers are out to convert your kids. That's a lie. We don't want to make cis kids trans. We want trans kids to live to be trans adults. You can't make a cis kid trans any more than you can make a trans kid cis. Kids are who they are. I was once a femmy little boy in an AFAB body, roughhousing in a princess dress and happier playing with boys than girls most of the time. My parents, and everyone else, saw it and called me a tomboy...despite the princess dress. I'm very lucky to have had parents who let me express myself and didn't care if I ran around in the woods, as long as I took my tights off first. Trying to suppress or change kids just makes them miserable, and sometimes miserable kids die. It breaks my heart that there are parents who would rather have a dead child than a trans child.

If I could get one message to everyone this month, and have it sink in, it would be that NO ONE is doing gender confirming surgery on children. (Unless they're intersex and get mutilated without consent, in the name of conformity.) Even teens, who may be on puberty blockers or other hormones, don't have access to gender affirming surgeries. In America, it takes years and lots of money to have these surgeries. It's not something that's done lightly or on a whim.

That's an aspect of anti-trans rhetoric that bugs me deeply, "What if it's just a phase?" It almost never is. Gender affirming surgeries have some of the highest patient satisfaction ratings of any surgery. Higher than hip replacement and many other completely accepted surgeries.

Surgery is, again, beside the point when we're talking about trans kids. Say a nine year old realizes they're trans. All that changes is their clothes and hairstyle, and maybe their name. As they get a little older, they might be put on puberty blockers. Puberty blockers were developed for cisgender children who start puberty too soon. All these medications do is delay it. Once they're stopped, puberty starts back up. If the child changes their mind, it's as simple as not taking the blockers anymore.

A related truth is that trans people aren't the only ones who get gender affirming care. A cis woman who gets breast implants and a cis man taking testosterone for "low T" are both receiving gender affirming care. They don't face the stigma or roadblocks that a trans woman getting breast implants or a trans man taking testosterone face. I don't hear about American politicians trying to outlaw Viagra or Brazilian butt lifts or any of the other things cis people are allowed to do to feel "more like a woman" or "more like a man". Why should it be different for trans people?

I'll try not to go off on a tangent about how transitioning while young leads to "passing" (looking cisgender) more easily, but it does. And that can mean safety and acceptance. Passing shouldn't matter, but it often does. Forcing a young person, especially a trans girl, to go through puberty twice is cruel and potentially dangerous.

Going back to my personal experience for a moment, the idea of female puberty and "becoming a woman" horrified me as a kid. If I'd been offered the option of puberty blockers, I'd probably have taken them. I started developing breasts when I was nine and was forced to wear bras when I was ten. My adolescent and teen years were pretty horrible overall, and gender issues were part of that. I had the "not like the other girls" feeling, but knew by then that I wasn't 100% boy either. Maybe that would have been different if I hadn't gone through puberty with estrogen. I think sometimes about the man I might have been if I was younger and grew up in a world with more trans awareness. I had no idea about genders beyond the binary back then, but I recognized that there was something boy-ish about me. My friends, family, and other people saw it too. I was who I was, who I am. I'm so very lucky that my parents didn't try to force me to be girlier. Those years were hard enough.

Childhood is hard, and repressive, oppressive adults make it so much harder. I hope all the trans kids out there either have support at home or find it where they can. I wish we lived in a world where we could all just accept each other and live our lives. I want everyone to be safe and feel loved.

I could go on and on about various trans issues, but I think I've made my points about trans kids. Respect and protect them. They're valid and they deserve to grow up to be who they know they are.

[I have zero tolerance for transphobia. I will block and report anyone who replies to this with anything anti-trans.]

[justice4sasuke]

Before I get into this I wanted to say someone said on one of my posts about Naruto and One Piece that they didn't feel their was a point in comparing them and I wanted to say my intention isn't really to compare Naruto and One Piece. My point is that Naruto is a standard shounen with some good ideas and points but is overall not very good and has lots of writing issues. One Piece is a standard shounen that is very well written with fewer issues. And because all of my problems with people on here seem to stem from people wanting to read Naruto differently than intended to make it look better I want to use One Piece as an example of what something that is just good writing on its own merits looks like.

Anyway, Iruka says chapter one that he thinks Naruto's struggles have given him empathy and I think that is funny because to me Naruto has never been a character with any emotional intelligence or kindness to be seen in him. The only time he has interest in other's emotions or feelings is when he can relate them to his own experience and this is 1. never addressed as a problem Naruto has and 2. is a consistent theme throughout the manga. Not only that but he never seems to be able to do anything helpful when he finds people like that (which could be an interesting commentary on Naruto's inability with personal interactions but once again the manga doesn't make note of it). Think how he treats Inari, think encouraging Hinata to fight Neji even though it endangered her because it personally triggered him, think how he ends up fighting Gaara and saying he will fight Sasuke after saying he relates to them (not that I think he's wrong for fighting Gaara since...he's attacking the village just, Choices Kishimoto for doing that more than once).

Now let me show an example of the main character for one understanding someone else's feelings and for two, shock and awe, helping them. Generally Luffy isn't a character anyone would describe using the word "intelligence" for on first blush, but reading the manga you will see in a lot of situations Luffy is actually incredibly emotionally intelligent. And honestly I think it's kind of funny that Kishimoto bothers making Iruka specifically says Naruto has empathy when he doesn't show it at least in a helpful way meanwhile no one says anything about Luffy being kind yet...here we are...just being shown things instead of told.

Anyway, here's the example. This one is from early in the manga and I chose one that involves a whale instead of a person just to really drive the point home.

The crew meets (and gets eaten by...look it's a whole thing okay) a whale (Laboon) and the lighthouse watcher/former doctor/whale caretaker (once again...it's a whole thing), Crocus, tells them the story of how this whale was waiting for his friends, a different pirate crew, to sail around the world and return to him, but it's been 50 years and Crocus believes the crew has abandoned the whale and Laboon, disbelieving this, rams his head against the Red Line (it's a land mass that circles the entire world...listen I can't be explaining the intricacies of OP's world building just for this post), seriously injuring himself in his attempts to break through and find his friends. Luffy, for lack of anything else to do I guess (if he could just intuit the problem and do something about it without listening to a whole ass tale he would, trust), listens though as usual the energy he's giving is "no thoughts, head empty".

But the next thing you know! Luffy has broken of the ship's mast (for some reason...) and is running up the whale to stab the mast into Laboon's latest slamming-his-head-into-a-wall-of-earth wound (in case you can't tell I'm not showing all the panels thus all the explaining).

Laboon is in pain and attacks, but Luffy fights back.

Luffy stops the fight by declaring it a draw!

Well, it looks like their match isn't settled so they will have to fight some other time. Luffy declares that they are rivals and after they sail around the world (like Laboon's previous crew of pirate friends) they will come back and Luffy and Laboon can have a rematch.

Luffy even paints their...uh, his version of their Jolly Roger on Laboon's head where his scars are and says he can't ram his head against the Red Line because that will erase the contract. This gives something else for Laboon to look forward to rather than him needlessly waiting for his friends to return. And it works! Every time we see Laboon in little asides or cover stories after this he is happily waiting for the Straw Hats at the lighthouse with Crocus. (And in case anyone was wondering his pirate friends and the Straw Hats can't just bring him with them because he's a giant fucking whale and they are circling the entire globe through dangerous waters, also the sky, also the bottom of the ocean, also fighting the government, also getting flung across the globe, and various islands.)

And what really REALLY touches me about this exchange is that Luffy knows he can't replace Laboon's previous pirate crew of friends. He can't just say "I'll be your friend" to fix this. So instead he positions himself as Laboon's rival, not replacing the friends Laboon is still waiting for or belittling his bond with them (and trust me...it's a bond 😢). And in case you're wondering does this somehow connect to Luffy's sad past and that's why he's doing this??? No. His sad backstory isn't anything like this. He's just doing it because it's the kind thing to do and if you're trying to do something and Luffy likes you he will do everything he can to help you.

[a-small-tired-lonely-potato]

Hiiiii !!!

How are you? ^^

I just saw your post from a few months ago ( this one https://at.tumblr.com/a-small-tired-lonely-potato/hi-ive-seen-some-of-your-posts-about-mairuma-and/6c7a5uv63rvk) and since you said that we could ask you about your opinions of different characters I wanted to ask, what do you think of Balam ?

I only watch the anime so I'm not up to date with the manga but I really like him, he's adorable and seems like a really good teacher too !!!!

Balam Shichiro is my favorite Bird Teacher.

He is one of my favorite characters in the entire show! And I would adore sharing my thoughts on him.

(note, sorry to all for my absence, Christmas time was chaotic and my batteries were hella drained, even doing things I liked doing took waaay to much outta me, hopefully when I finish moving in my mojo will come back)

When Balam first showed up, like when we first meet him in class, I thought he'd only be a teacher with a couple odd quirks that the gremlin side of the fandom would froth at the mouth for.

I wasn't entirely wrong about that, but I was wrong about him being only that.

"I showed everyone your wings, not out of malice but it still probably sucked showing people something you might be embarrassed about, and I'm sorry, so you can see something I'm embarrassed about so we can call it even." I thought that was a very sweet gesture to give someone, because Iruma was worried about showing his back, not in the way Balam was thinking but still.

It was just such pure kindness, then we got Iruma's sudden confession after being shocked by that kindness and Balam's reaction just sealed my love for him immediately.

At first his excitement gets the best of him, I mean if I spent my whole life hearing that the study I was invested in wasn't even real and that I was crazy for spending so much time on it, only to have living, breathing, Talking Proof! I might get overexcited and almost pass out too.

And then he immediately turns on his teacher switch, realizing that Iruma was in incredible danger and had no way to defend himself if the truth came out to someone who shouldn't know and he should be keeping his humaness a SECRET and that Dumb Naive Boy just up and decided to out himself!!! For What??!? TEA!? KINDNESS!?!

And ends up chastising the boy for hours

And you know what? I'd do that too, That confession scene gave me a heart attack Iruma, what in Delkira's name were you thinking?! Thank God you stumbled upon the ONE demon who wouldn't immediately eat your dumbass.

And after that my love does nothing but grow every time we meet, he has such pure honest dad energy

I adore his vibes.

The first thing he does is make sure no one else knows so he can guarantee Iruma's safety, for no other reason then Iruma is his student and is an endangered precious species and he has a responsibility to keep the boy safe and help him grow.

He makes picture books for Iruma when he hears he's having problems with studying so he can make sure he has the knowledge to survive the demon realm, and from there on becomes Iruma's closest ally and confidant, at least in Bablys.

He can't tell any of his friends or his other teachers about him being a human, and while Grandpa Sully is sweet he can't always be there for Iruma, neither can Opera. So Balam becomes his de-facto guardian, and then also becomes someone he can talk to when he's unsure.

And while I loved him in the Walter Park Arc my favorite moment of him comes much later.

There are spoilers ahead so I'm gonna make a block in orange so you can skip if you dont wanna get spoiled for it.

~~~~~~~~DONT READ! HERE BE SPOILERS!~~~~~~~~~~

So after the HeartBreaker exam Balam calls Iruma to his office to give him a full check up (He's probably become his doctor since he's the closest thing the demon realm has to a human expert now that i think about it) and after checking up on him he drops some bitter truth on our boy.

He brings up the attack by one of the teachers, and that even though two other students were attacked with one being injured, the teacher was primarily searching for and targeting Iruma.

He brings up that the teacher more likely then not, has figured out that Iruma was a human, and he gives Iruma two options going forward. Either seek out the Border Patrol to send him back home to the human realm, or stay by Sulivan's side under lock and key for the rest of his lifespan.

Iruma, when faced with two options he doesn't like, does what he usually does, and makes his own option. He decides to devote himself to getting stronger so he can stay with his friends and be safe.

Balam then admits it was a test of Iruma's conviction, and to make sure he understood the danger he was in.

And it just melted my heart, because he truly cared about Iruma at that moment, and wanted him to be safe, but also wanted him to follow the path he wants.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END OF SPOILERS!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other then that, his relationship with Kalego as being each other Best Tolerants (I fully believe Kalego would die before he admits to caring) gives me life, and I love how different their relationships with Opera are!

The one problem I have with Balam isn't even with Balam himself, It's with Sullivan, Because Balam's Bloodline Magic is BUZZER, A lie Detector Magic. Didn't think maybe Iruma might've wanted a warning about the One Demon who could for SURE out him?!? No heads up on that??? Thanks For Nothing you useless Grandpa.

Balam's protective nature and kind demeanor coupled with his immense power and frighting appearance reminds me of my Father, Whom every single person we meet is terrified of because he's 6 feet of pure muscle and his resting face looks like death, but he's really just a big teddy bear! Anything that reminds me of Dad is great to see in manga because usually dads in anime and manga suck so Balam gets all the love points!!

Very Dad Behavior, well done.

I love his closeness with Sabnock and Azz-Azz when he becomes their personal tutor in the Forest arc, he really shows how much he cares about his students. He just wants the best for them.

And yeah! I just adore our Bird Teacher, he's the best and can do no wrong. We stan a King.

Thank you for the ask! I love blabbing about WTDSIK and am hoping to get back in the saddle on answers! Love that people are enjoying my incessant long ramblings!

Peace out Babes!

[musicboxghost]

I had a scare on a run that turned out very well thanks to some neighbors I didn't even know. ❤️

I'm staying with a friend while she's sick so I was running through an unfamiliar area tonight.

Out of nowhere, two big dogs charged me. They only stopped running up on me when I finally heard them through my headphones and faced them. I was just talking to them, not wanting to run and instigate thier chase instincts. But thier body language and the barking sounded like business.

And I have no idea where they came from. I was in an industrial district. Junkyards and mechanics. No place for pups without a nearby caretaker. (I say pups but these were big dogs and I had a healthy fear for the damage they could do if they attacked).

I had no idea what to do. The dogs weren't calming down and it just seemed like a matter of time before they decided to put some bite to their bark.

Then this white minivan comes careening around a corner, horn blaring relentlessly. Three more cars, also laying on their horns follow suit. It confuses and startles the dogs; they're caught between barking at/watching me and making little false start runs to zigzag away from all the blaring horns.

The minivan rolls down their window and because I'm a very anxious person, my first thought, even in this situation was "Oh no, they're mad at me". I tried to explain that I don't know where the dogs came from and I was just trying to get away. Then I thought they might be *their* dogs, and asked if they needed help wrangling them/getting them home. I was still trying to figure out who these women were and how I had upset them when they asked:

"Fuck no. Are *you* okay?"

When I assured them that I was fine, just rattled, they led the cacophonous chase, herding the dogs away with thier horns. I watched them drive for about a mile before they turned left after the dogs, out of my line of sight.

I had to run in that direction to get back so after shaking myself off, I got started again. I felt wearily hopeful that they had gotten the dogs far enough away that I could make it back without them circling around and catching me.

I couldn't have made it another half mile before the ladies in the minivan returned (sans dogs this time).

They rolled down the window again and parked the car in the middle of the road. They had circled back to make sure I was really all right and to let me know that they had gotten the dogs a few miles away. They said they would have run them over if they had seen any threat to my safety. I kept thanking them but they kept swatting my gratitud away, pouring out more righteous indignation on my behalf. Wondering who could endanger someone's safety by letting those dogs out.

All that, and I didn't know these women from Adam.

It was late. It was a busy street with a tough turnaround. They were emphatic, but they looked tired. They went so far out of their way to help a total stranger. And then they drove off.

There's no big moral to this story. It's just one of many frequent reminders that I cherish of community care. I love seeing neighbors show up for each other. I love helping my community where I can. I love feeling cared for by strangers. It rejuvenates me and my faith in people.

So thank you again, my knights in the white minivan. I hope the kindness you put out in the world comes back to you even more abundantly.

And if you read all of this, relatively uneventful story, thank you as well. I hope this snippet of community care ignites the same little spark in you as it did for me. ❤️

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

The ‘popular’ Larry bloggers simply can’t understand how anyone could be a fan of Louis without also automatically being a fan of Harry.

Even fans who arrived long after the demise of 1D are expected to embrace Harry, and by extension Larry. Should they not, then they are attacked and ostracised, just for existing with an exclusively Louis focus.

It’s this mindset that gives them away; they don’t see Louis as being worthy or valid in any way unless it’s adjacent and subordinate to Harry.

I want to scream every time one of those mindless morons posts insulting crap like ‘Louis would hate you for suggesting that he might not want to have Harry Styles songs screamed at him’ or similar examples.

What they mean is 'I hate you for suggesting Louis might not want to Harry Styles songs screamed at him, because you are probably right and written down it actually does look juvenile and obnoxious behaviour, but I'm fully immersed in this cult so I have to defend the indefensible and attack is always my go to behaviour'

The guilt-tripping of other fans…

The mildest criticism against Harry gets reflex venom from that crowd: “The hypocrisy of fans never hating on Louis,” etc.

Hate Louis for what? For his dynamic pricing? Hate Louis for breaking up a family to star in a movie? Hate Louis for endangering the crew on a movie set to publicize an affair? Hate Louis for making #blacklivesmatter an opportunity to datamine his fans? Hate Louis for holding onto tour money for two years without offering a refund? Hate Louis for working with people/ being in business with people who talk shit about his ex-bandmates? Hate Louis for a compulsory fee on tickets so he could make a tax-deductible “charity donation”?

Right. Louis never did those things. Harry did.

It reminds me of something I saw on Twitter, “Dunking is not praxis.”

Larries persecute other fans who do not want to stan Harry; it’s neither logical nor kind.

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Just went for a walk, time for episode 16

Aphmau is just hangin out in the forest now for A While w/ this wolf child so yknow. not ideal but she manages to comfort them a little and calm down herself

Idk what time of day it is at this point, if its night time we could maybe get a cool scene of Aphmau fighting some mobs or smth

After a while she realizes that she saved this kid just now bc John told her if she did it he would help, but now shes just in the forest and doesnt really know what to do, so she decides to sneak back to Brightport bc Time Is Of The Essence

So shes hangin out at the outskirts of town (with the wolf child still) and tries to figure out how to approach this, bc she cant exactly just walk in there again after everyone saw her but she needs to talk to John. For a while Aphmau is basically just pacing around, trying to think of way to sneak into a village thats on high alert because of werewolves with a wolf child in her arm

Once again, she starts getting more anxious and is just about to just go "fuck it, Im just gonna shoot my shot", trying to not think about what happens if she fails, when John comes crawlin out of the bushes or smth being all like "Oh man, thank god I found you! I heard that someone was running through the village with a wolf in their arms, did you get Lowell?!??"

Aphmau sets him down and the two kids have a cute reunion thingy, maybe John says smth about how his mom is gonna be really pissed at him but its totally worth it to save his friend

She then asks what to do next, and its to bring Lowleen back to his parents (not sure who gets the line of dialogue for that yet) that they can meet at the docks(?) idk that seems kinda weird to me and a bit too close to Brightport, I'll probably change the meeting place to somewhere else

They make their way to this meeting place, meanwhile Lowleen and John can have a cute lil convo as friends in the background until Aphmau realizes that she hasnt been given any information about the missing Lord and asks about that

He basically says what he says in the OG about Lowleens parents knowing more and Aphmau responds the same way, but this time both of the kids deny it and defend the werewolves obvs. I'll probably use the "Why does everyone think the werevolves are the bad guys here!" line, but change some of the other dialogue here

Aph doesnt have her interaction w/ Merida since she never return to talk to John, but I might make her be resentful of Aphmau for endangering her son later on, if she appears again after this

Im also cutting Aphmaus interaction with Azura

I'll need to insert the exposition from Azura here somewhere else though, particularly the stuff w/ Zenix bc that could be especially important

They arrive at the docks, maybe they could have talked some more on the way, maybe reveal a bit about the werewolves idk yet

(Aphmau also doesnt get that house in Brightport ofc)

They meet the wolf parents, Aphmau doesnt get attacked in this bc shes w/ John here, Im cutting all of the wolf's dialogue until we get to "Human, thank you for returning or pup, its not often we find people as kind as you", from then on the dialogue is the same as it is in the OG

Aphmau turn to John and tells him to hurry along and get back to his mom as soon as possible, before going to follow the werevolves

Mannnnnnn why does it take me so long to do these, I powered through 10 episodes the day I decided to do this

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Risk (Shadowmoth's Final Attack – Part 1)

Well, here we are. After a year of reviews, we've made it to the season finale. As such, I feel like I should reflect on this occasion. Now, was it a bold idea to start writing detailed reviews of the fourth season of Miraculous Ladybug? Yes. Have I regretted spending some of my free time sitting through some awful episodes of the same TV show? Yes. If I could, would I do it all over again? I'll... get back to you on that last one.

For now, let's get into the twenty-fifth (chronologically the twenty-fifth) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season, and the first part of the season finale: Risk

We start off after an Akuma attack, with Ladybug, Cat Noir, Carapace, Ryuko, Viperion, King Monkey, Pigella, and Purple Tigress meeting up to celebrate. Now, stop me if you've heard this before. The temp heroes' Miraculous all start to go off, Ladybug tells them to find a safe place to detransform so she can collect them, Cat Noir asks to come along, Ladybug says no, and Cat Noir whines about how he's important too.

(Because the universe hates me, yet again, I have to rely on/suffer through the English dub for these last two episodes, so sorry for the lack of screenshots)

Cat Noir: I know, I know. Only the Guardian knows the identities of the Miraculous holders, and Cat Noir, despite being the first and most amazing team member of all is now just a holder like any other.

Ladybug: Yeah, but you'll always be my favorite!

Believe me, I'll get to this later.

We see Rena Furtive keeping lookout on a building so all the temp heroes are alone, an interesting idea for her new support role. You know, it would have been nice to get more scenes like this instead of not showing her at all after her debut in “Rocketear��. After retrieving the Miraculous, Marinette and Alya meet up and decide to go to a movie, United Heroez: The Final End Fight. I'm guessing Majestia dies using the Endless Mitten to wipe out Tanhoss and his army.

We cut to Gabriel talking to Emilie's body yet again, saying how after four seasons, he's still failed to get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous, claiming that “He's not worthy of their love!”, because I'm guessing he assumes Emilie would be perfectly fine with all the lives he's endangered in her name. In his anger, Gabriel accidentally cracks the stasis pod containing Emilie, but it doesn't go anywhere. Nathalie (who is back in bed even though she was shown to be recovering in Kuro Neko) then talks with him about the stalemate they and Ladybug's team are currently in, and after mentioning that using the broken Peacock Miraculous was a risk she was willing to take, Gabriel gets an idea.

Gabriel transforms into Shadowmoth and searches for a new victim, showing that the process is kind of like an evil sonar that picks up on emotions across the city.

It's a pretty cool visual, and it makes a lot of sense. Shadowmoth doesn't choose the first person to get upset every day. He searches for candidates whose emotions he thinks would make strong Akumas with. Shadowmoth finds a kid named Froggy who wants to ride his bike without a helmet or training wheels, and akumatizes him into Risk.

Risk has a pretty cute design. I like the frog theme, and the bike looks nice. I like how Shadowmoth finally thought of creating an Akuma that isn't meant to attract attention. Like his name implies, his powers relate to forcing people to take risks, thanks to these little green orbs he creates while riding his bike across the city and giving them markings that compel them to do things they wouldn't normally do, and ask the serious questions like “Why ARE there so many songs about rainbows, and what's on the other side?”. Though admittedly, it's basically just Simpleman's powers all over again, so there's not much I can really say there, other than that it makes more sense here than it did in “Simpleman”.

Overnight, almost everyone in Paris is marked by Risk's song, including Marinette and Adrien. The next morning, Adrien wakes up, and is told by Nathalie to meet his father in his study to discuss a new ad campaign, where we see just how dangerous Risk is, because his powers actually made Adrien grow a pair.

Adrien: I've had it, Plagg! I'm tired of photos and ads! I don't wanna be a model for my father's brand anymore! I just wanna be a son, and be able to have breakfast with him just once! I'm gonna go talk to him.

Plagg: You do realize that your father will take this very badly, right?

Adrien: I'm willing to take that risk!

Because only an Akuma specifically designed to make people act more reckless is what gives Adrien the courage to stand up to his father. It's not like this could have been the pinnacle of a character arc where he starts to become more of his own person, right? And even then, just one order from Gabriel is enough to make him go back to cowering. It's not made clear if this is the result of Gabriel ordering him through the ring or not, but either way, I'm not sure how this affects Risk's influence on Adrien.

Much like with “Heroes' Day” and the New York Special, Gabriel comes up with a plan to keep Adrien safe by making sure he isn't anywhere near Paris. His cover is that Adrien and Lila will star in a new perfume commercial about a boy and girl who travel around the world searching for each other before meeting up on the Eiffel tower and melting together and becoming the perfume bottle, which is surprisingly tame for a French perfume ad. Gabriel wants this to be filmed in different locations as opposed to simply using green screens and special effects, meaning that Adrien will be forced to go around the world with Lila for at least several months. Bob's protests about how much of a financial nightmare this would be are ignored, and despite being under the influence of an Akuma that makes him take more risks, Adrien still doesn't stand up to his father.

The weirdest part is that Adrien and Lila are going to leave that afternoon. Gabriel literally just came up with his latest plan last night, yet he managed to plan an entire perfume ad, contacted people around the world, got the permission of Lila's mom, and booked plane tickets in just one night? I know this is an incredibly minor nitpick, but why did the writers have to do all this just to get Adrien out of Paris, and remind the audience Lila exists?

Marinette is naturally horrified that Adrien is going to spend time with Lila, and while everyone else is happy to see him go around the world, Tikki claims that the reason Marinette notices how miserable he looks is “Because she loves him”. Marinette goes to talk to Adrien, where he vents his true feelings to her thanks to Risk.

Adrien: If only you knew how sick I am of all of it, the photos, the film shoots, all these people fawning over me who don't even know me! These ads that don't make any sense? And now I'm expected to just leave my friends and travel to the end of the world for I don't know how long, with Lila?

Marinette: Why don't you tell them all that you don't wanna do this?

Adrien: No one would understand my complaining. They all think it's amazing what's happening to me.

Marinette: I understand you.

Adrien: Well, you're the only one.

Marinette: You've gotta talk to your father, Adrien.

Adrien: I've tried but I can't. I don't know why. He's my father, though, I love him! I know he loves me! It's all so... frustrating! Has there ever been something you wanted to tell someone but you just couldn't do it, as if some kind of invisible force was holding you back?

“See? SEE? Look at how made for each other these two are now that they’re actually having a conversation!”

And I think now's as good of a time as any to talk about my problem with this conflict, and the way Adrien has been written for the entire series.

Since day one, Adrien has always been portrayed as this timid rich guy who isn't able to stand up to his controlling father, so someone always has to fight his battles for him. Adrien can't have a birthday party? Nino has to be the one to try and convince Gabriel to let him have one (The Bubbler). Adrien is pulled out from school after being accused of taking an important book? Marinette has to risk her future in fashion by taking blame for stealing the book so Adrien can go back to school (The Collector). Adrien is visibly uncomfortable around people like Lila? Marinette has to try to stop Lila from violating Adrien's personal space on her own (Oni-Chan). Adrien feels he isn't getting enough credit as a superhero and decides to ditch his Miraculous? Plagg has to explain to Marinette why this is all her fault (Kuro Neko).

For one of the two characters the show is named after, Adrien barely has any agency in the plot. When he isn't complaining about how much his life sucks, other people need to help him stand up for himself or do things for him. Yes, you could argue that this is a more realistic depiction of a victim of emotional abuse, but other than the occasional line about how controlling Gabriel is, nobody ever acknowledges how much this could affect Adrien mentally and why it's so hard for him to stand up to his father. Instead, whenever Adrien talks about how so many parts of his life have been predetermined, he keeps trying to convince the audience that Gabriel loves him, as if we're just supposed to ignore what he did to his son in “Cat Blanc” and “Ephemeral”. Adrien never even thinks about standing up for himself in his civilian life, and after four seasons, what gives him the drive to try and be more vocal about how unhappy he is with his life? The support of all his friends? The extra confidence he's gained from his time as Cat Noir? An event like Gabriel's commercial pushing him too far? Nope! Instead, an Akuma with the power to magically force people to take risks is the sole reason why Adrien is only now starting to protest his father's demands.

And even then, despite Risk's powers literally forcing people to take more risks in their lives, Adrien still can't stand up to Gabriel, much less tell the friends he supposedly cares so much about how he feels, so Marinette has to convince everyone else how unhappy Adrien really is, because the plot wants to make it seem like Marinette is the only one who really gets Adrien.

And putting aside the problem this plotline represents, the idea to try and give both sides (in this case, Marinette and Nino/Alya in the next scene) a point in whether Adrien going around the world is a good thing or not doesn't work because A) We know Adrien isn't happy, and he's already tried protesting this arrangement, and B) Adrien can't leave Paris because he's Cat Noir, and earlier episodes (Ephemeral, Kuro Neko) have reminded the audience that Cat Noir, and by extension, the power of the Cat Miraculous, is very important, and can be crucial to defeating Akumas.

At least, that second point should be important, but even though a big part of the New York Special was how screwed Paris was because of Cat Noir's absence, Adrien's only gripe with this trip is just being forced to go around the world without his friends and only Lila to keep him company. And yes, that does suck, but Adrien doesn't stop to consider how this could affect Paris, and doesn't even try to explain this to Ladybug when Ladybug explained she was going away in the New York Special. Hell, for some reason, Tikki keeps protesting Marinette wanting to keep Adrien in Paris when she knows he's Cat Noir (The Dark Owl), and therefore, should make sure he should stay there to help Ladybug.

Before he leaves school to head on his trip, Marinette tries to talk to Adrien again, but thanks to  Chloe getting in the way as part of a plan she and Lila came up with, she can't do anything. I hoped you enjoyed those two lines of dialogue Chloe gets, because outside of a brief cameo towards the end of the next part, this is literally all she does in the finale. So once again, despite alluding to something in the penultimate episode of the season, a plotline that could have been interesting goes nowhere. Then again, at least they did something with Chloe unlike forgetting about Lila entirely at the end of Season 3.

Marinette tries to convince her friends that Adrien isn't happy, but Nino and Alya refuse to believe her, the former because he thinks it's good for Adrien, and the latter because she thinks Marinette is just jealous of Lila. You know, one of the things a lot of people were looking forward to when Alya found out Marinette's secret identity was how this would affect episodes with Lila, seeing how in her very first appearance, she lied about being best friends with Ladybug. Turns out the writers didn't care about that because how else could Alya blame Marinette for something? Sure, Marinette tried to reach out to Chloe and is now good friends with Kagami to the point where she tried to get her and Adrien back together, but to Alya, all she thinks is that Marinette is jealous of Lila. Good lord, this is going to inspire to many salt fics...

While Adrien starts packing for the trip, Felix suddenly arrives, wanting to help Adrien. Once again, Felix offers to take Adrien's place by dressing up as him so he can convince Gabriel to cancel the commercial. Oh my God, we get it, writers! Felix was the first draft for Adrien! You don't keep having to remind us whenever he's on screen! But, shock of all shocks, Felix's real plan was to investigate Gabriel again, finding out that he's Shadowmoth (he was previously thrown off in his last episode) before discovering Emilie's body.

Okay, why do the writers only use Felix for things that Adrien himself should be doing? In his first appearance, he confronted Gabriel and tried to get Adrien to stand up to him, in his next appearance, he suspects Gabriel of being a supervillain, and now, he's the one to find out about Emilie in an episode that doesn't get undone. It makes Felix feel less like a character, and more a way to progress the plot in ways that don't force Adrien to do anything, like learn Shadowmoth's identity, because that way, they can keep the status quo for the two leads the same as it's been since Season 1.

Gabriel, worrying his plan might go wrong, decides to give Nathalie his wedding ring before he goes into battle. Felix, still disguised as Adrien, tries to tell Gabriel he doesn't want to go on the trip, but while Gabriel orders him to listen to him, he remembers he doesn't have the ring... but then Nathalie gives an order, and Felix obeys, giving us even more evidence that both Felix and Adrien are Sentimonsters.

I've already gone over my problems with this idea in my “Ephemeral” review, but recently, I've realized that there are even more plotholes regarding this revelation and how this contradicts previous episodes.

First, when Gabriel suspected Adrien of being Cat Noir in “Gorizilla”, why couldn't he just order him to give him the ring or transform to prove his theory instead of the plan he went with instead?

Second, if Adrien is a Sentimonster, why wasn't he driven out of control when he was hit by a Cataclysm in “Miraculer”? The other Sentimonsters hit by Cataclysm were driven berserk (Reflekdoll, Truth, Queen Banana, Kuro Neko), so why not him?

Third, if Gabriel wanted Adrien to join his side in “Cat Blanc”, why did he struggle to control him while akumatizing him? When he akumatized Adrien into Ephemeral, a single order using the ring was enough to break his will, so why did Cat Blanc fight back and destroy the world when all Gabriel had to do was order him to obey him?

And fourth, if Felix is a Sentimonster, why couldn't Gabriel use the other ring to order Felix to give him Emilie's ring back? All he had to do was call Felix, give him the order, and Felix would have no choice but to comply.

Do you see why this single plot twist contradicts so much and raises so many problems with the show?

Back in Marinette's room, she follows up on that crap about Adrien being a helpless prince that was started in “Gabriel Agreste”, and despite Tikki's protests against using her powers for personal gain, Marinette transforms into Ladybug to save him. Pretty rich that the show wants to act like Ladybug can't do anything selfish when for the past four seasons, Adrien has viewed being Cat Noir as a way to get out of his responsibilities, when the most Marinette has really used her own powers for her own personal benefit was to get to a social gathering in “Timebreaker”, and to deliver Adrien's hat in “Cat Blanc”, and she was blamed for causing the apocalypse in the latter.

Meanwhile, Adrien, dressed as Felix, is waiting to get a phone call from his cousin about his progress, when he gets a call from Kagami.

Kagami: Adrien, I saw you on TV this morning, and I know that you don't want to leave. Once again, you let your father decide for you! How long are you going to remain his puppet, Adrien?

Adrien: But... my cousin is gonna talk to him, and...

Kagami: This just keeps getting better. You're letting your cousin do things for you now? Who's pulling the strings of your life? Your cousin? Your father? Me, when we were together? It's never YOU! You're only good at doing what people tell you to do! Dare to cut your strings, Adrien!*pauses for a moment and frowns* Forgive me if I hurt you.

I can't begin to describe the huge grin I had on my face watching this scene. After so many episodes where all Adrien does is complain about how hard his life is while needing other people to do the hard work for him as a civilian and as a superhero, hearing Kagami chew Adrien out for his indecisiveness is unironically the most satisfying thing I've seen all season.

Admittedly, once the ecstasy wore off, I did have some problems with the placement of this scene. Like Chloe, this is the only scene Kagami gets in either part of the finale, not counting her time as Ryuko, and it has no real foreshadowing. Maybe if there was an earlier scene where Kagami saw the news report, I'd find it to be more understandable, but here, it feels like it was only there because Kagami is the only character besides Plagg to tell Adrien to actually do stuff he wants to do. I think this would have worked more if this was the end result of a subplot where Kagami slowly started to rebuild her trust in Adrien, and her rant is meant to be a parallel to when Adrien couldn't be honest with Kagami in “Lies” to show Adrien has grown beyond his hesitance to express how he really feels about the situation with his father. In addition, it's not made clear if it's the result of Risk's powers or not, so we don't know how genuine Kagami's anger towards Adrien is here. But hey, either way, we finally have someone yelling at Adrien to stop being a pushover for once in his life, so I'll take it.

Adrien texts Felix to let him know he's on the way, but he deletes the message, presumably because he's still forced to follow Nathalie's orders. At the train station, Ladybug tries to convince “Adrien” not to leave, but he can't go through with it. Once the train leaves, Gabriel heads to the Eiffel Tower and transforms into Shadowmoth, sending out an Amok and through his cane, creates the Sentimonster, Strikeback.

Strikeback just looks plain awesome, what else can I say? The giant imposing look, the spikes and armor that make him look ready for combat, and the expressionless face that just highlight how inhuman it looks, and lacks the bright and colorful designs of the previous Sentimonsters. I also love how Shadowmoth finally decided to be smart and create a Sentimonster that he isn't controlling through a coffee cup. I'll talk more about Strikeback's powers next time, as he doesn't do much for now.

Marinette initially gives up trying to stop “Adrien” from going, but then plans to use the Horse Miraculous to teleport to the train. Meanwhile, Adrien, motivated to not do what others tell him to do after Kagami told him to stand up to Gabriel, goes to confront Gabriel, but after his Risk mark acts up, he finds the same high-tech monocle Felix used to figure out Shadowmoth's lair that he dropped earlier. Just as he picks it up and wonders what it can do, he feels a tremor in the earth and turns around, ending the first part.

I'll skip the analysis for now, and save it for the end of the next part, “Strikeback”.

LINK TO PART 2

[rosescries]

Heeyyy rose, I've got an angsty ask!

What if it was a mage teen!MC related to Taylor in this scenario? Say 13-17 yr old Mc gets kicked out of their house because the magic started manifesting at a later age and is homeless for a while- and shows up on the skeletons and Taylor's doorstep after starving for a long while with nowhere else to go out of desperation? Obviously Taylor wants to save face and takes them in, but spreads rumors about her being a druggie or mean or all the bad things normally associated with people that get kicked out- but MC is just sincere kid down on their luck and in an awful situation because of magic beyond their control, which manifests when their scared- sparks or flames or thorns and the like. Mc is sneaky and cagey and have the instincts of a survivalist from being the street for months- but are still kind and sweet at heart. Gasters too please :)

-wisp

Well, the Gasters don't take anything Taylor says as truth to begin with. So they're already on Mc's side, only added by the fact that she can see and interact with them. So she has them to help her. Whether that's with homework, avoiding Taylor or any of the skeletons, or anything else she may need. Plus just keeping her company.

Of course the Undertale, Underswap, and Horrortale are the better company, but the Underfell and Swapfell Gasters are great at helping her learn to understand and use her magic efficiently. Surprisingly great teachers when the others are there to keep them in check. Those two also respect her determination to keep going, something admirable they wouldn't have expected of her if they met earlier. Horrortale's Gaster is dead set on making sure she eats properly though.

The other skeletons aren't really outright hostile to a Teen!Mc, especially if she's a younger teen. But they are harder on her than if she was a child. Plus, all the skeletons have been homeless once in their life. While they were children even, so they're more understanding of her position. Black and Red especially, with their harsher timelines.

That doesn't mean they're nice exactly, especially with Taylor's crap in their earholes. But it does mean they're willing to hear Mc out more, and try to work through things with her. Plus get a doctor involved which will disprove the whole drug use thing, because that's a serious issue which could endanger her and they're not going to risk that problem becoming bigger.

They are a bit wary about her magic, though they'd be able to understand it better as time goes on. What triggers it, what it does, how to handle it. The fact that the whole intent of it is to protect Mc instead of just outright hostility helps a lot. If you're not trying to outright attack or harm Mc, you're pretty much in the clear as long as you keep your distance. And once Mc calms down, it's completely fine.

Black, Edge, Papyrus, and Blue definitely try to help her get a better control over her magic though. She can't be destroying parts of the house or the backyard every time she gets scared.

Black, Mutt, Red, and Edge would be able to see through any mean, tough girl act that Mc put on. And they would tell the others about it too. Those four come from harsh universes, they're easily able to see the masks that they themselves had to wear their whole lives. They get it, really. Mutt would become her biggest ally again, though Red would take pity on Mc a lot too and mostly ignore what Taylor said about her. Doesn't mean they just put up with the sneakiness though, but they're not going to be too hard on her for it. They want to make sure she understands it's not appreciated and that it's not needed while she's in their home.

Sans is mostly fine as long as she stays out of the basement. While he doesn't completely get Mc's attitude and everything, he does have some sympathy for her and her situation. Mage or not, horrible attitude or not, he's not going to kick her out and let her starve again. She's technically still a kid after all. He'll leave her in the Fells' hands, they seem to understand her better than he can and look like they've got it handled.

Papyrus and Blue nearly had a heart attack when they first saw how skinny she was. Blue has a bit more sympathy for her situation, being the big brother who had to deal with everything more, but Papyrus definitely feels bad for her too. They want to help her! Though they.. don't always know how to? The Fells are definitely better with this than they are, but they're patient and determined! They gone through something very similar with the Fells after all, so they just need to help her realize she's safe and things will start getting better.

Stretch definitely feels bad, but he mostly just stays out of the way. The Fells clearly got a better handle on this than he ever would and he doesn't know how to handle this ball of anxiety and distrust that is this human teenager. He does find some similarities in when the Fells first showed up, but he didn't do much with them either. Nor was that a whole lot of pleasant experiences. Plus, they're adults. This is a kid. He mainly just hangs out with her when they're in the same room doing separate things. Kind of just- You leave me alone, I'll leave you alone.

Grey and Lunar take one look at this starved, anxious, distrustful teenager and immediately just go: "Mine." They relate to her hard. Their AU got bad enough that they couldn't really trust anyone around them, not even what used to be friends. They also get having to do what you have to to survive. Magic also kind of went wild with everything that happen Underground and they had to relearn everything once they got to the Surface, another thing they can relate to her with. But at least they had their house they could hide in, Mc didn't even have that much. Plus they can also relate to her on Taylor's bullshit too. So they mother-hen Teen!Mc a lot and basically just kind of force themselves into her life. Both making sure she eats and has a safe place to hunker in if she comes over to their house.

Which as annoying as she can find them at times, she does. Just because they're so genuine in their attempts to care for her and they only really push when it comes to food. Plus, their house is quiet. It's a nice place to get away from the bustling of the lodge and all the crap that goes on there, plus she gets some reprieve from the sometimes overbearing skeletons there.

[darks-ink]

Spark

Prompt: How does being constantly exposed to high amounts of ectoplasm affect the citizens of Amity Park? Prompt by: @robotbeowulf Word count: 2,487

[AO3] [FFN] [more Phic Phight fics]

---

Danny shrugged, shifting his backpack to lie a little more comfortably on his shoulders, and pretended very hard to be a regular student. It wasn’t easy, but it hadn’t been easy for the last two years. The constant secret-keeping from everyone was wearing on him.

Not to mention the constant ghost attacks, of course. He was pretty sure all of Amity Park was covered in a thick film of ectoplasm by now, considering how much of it he and the other ghosts spilled and fired during the almost-constant battles. Sure, his parents said that the stuff evaporated and then returned to the Ghost Zone, but his parents also said that humans couldn’t have ghost powers, and Danny was the (mostly) living proof that that wasn’t true, either.

He was jerked from his thoughts—literally—by a fist, grabbing him by the shirt and slamming him against the lockers he had been walking by.

“Hi, Dash,” Danny muttered, trying to hide away his weariness with apathy. “Good morning to you too.”

“Fentonia,” Dash growled back, leaning in close to Danny’s face. A little too close, thank you, ever heard of personal space? “Finally.”

Danny bit back the automatic reply—aw, were you waiting for me?—and settled for grimacing at Dash.

Not that that went over well, of course, because Dash’s other hand found its way to Danny’s shirt as well. With Danny well in his grasp, Dash lifted him, slamming him against the lockers again, this time with his feet off of the ground—no easy way of getting out. Not without using his powers, at least.

“What’s wrong, Fenturd?” Dash asked, pressing Danny against the lockers even harder. “Ghost got your tongue?”

Ha ha, how creative. How funny. Danny was sure he’d come up with funnier jokes in his sleep. “Fuck off,” he grunted at Dash as his back was slammed against the hard metal behind him again.

“Ooh, he’s got bite today.” Dash leaned back a bit, a vicious grin on his face, then crowded Danny against the lockers again. “Oh, no, never mind. Looks like he’s all bark.”

Danny snarled back at Dash before he’d really thought about it—before he could stop himself, really. It wasn’t even words, really, just an animalistic snarl and the pulse of his core that meant his eyes were glowing.

Oh, fuck. And Dash was way too close to miss that.

“Hey, there you go!” Dash… cheered? The fists clenched in Danny’s shirt released, and his feet thumped down on the ground before he’d really caught on to what was happening. Dash was already turning away from him, nudging Kwan. “See, I told you Fenton could do it too!”

That… was not the reaction he’d expected to get to ghostly glowing eyes. What the fuck?

Kwan laughed audibly, and Danny wrenched his eyes away from Dash and towards the other boy. The… the laughing, visibly cheery boy.

Seriously. What was going on?

“So, uh… No bullying anymore today?” Danny asked, and then felt like he could kick himself. Absolute moron. Who asks that sort of thing?

Dash snorted, apparently amused (amused???) by Danny’s idiotic question, and waved a dismissive hand. “What’s the point? I got what I was after.”

Okay? Good? That explained absolutely nothing. If anything, Danny felt even more confused. Had Dash seriously been bullying him trying to get him to glow eyes his? To snarl at him?

What???

Apparently he vocalized that last thought, because Kwan’s eyes turned back to him, a hesitant grin on his face.

And then Kwan’s eyes flashed a bright, glowing, cyan.

Danny, still leaning against the lockers he’d been pressed to, froze up automatically. He knew what that meant. Had spent enough time combing through his parents’ research—and with his own experience—to know that briefly glowing eyes couldn’t be caused by ordinary ghostly causes. An overshadowing ghost altered the eye-color of their host, but that was constant.

And, if there had been a ghost, Danny would’ve felt them. He’d grown more than strong enough to sense ghosts even if they were hidden in a host.

“He’s had them for a while.” Dash spoke casually, like this wasn’t a big fucking deal. “We couldn’t find anybody else with that brand of ecto-contamination, y’know, so Kwan was feeling super down about that.”

“Dash,” Kwan groaned, sounding put-upon. As carefully as Danny listened, the only thing he could hear was the undercurrent of care Kwan held for Dash. For his friend.

“Shut up, man.” Dash nudged his friend, then picked up his explanation that didn’t explain anything. “See, but I knew I had seen you do them too. The glowy eyes, I mean.” Dash underlined the latter with a vague gesture at his own eyes. “So I just had to push you into doing them while Kwan could see, to prove that he wasn’t the only one.”

“Uh.” Danny blinked at them, feeling like he missed everything Dash had said after the words “ecto-contamination”. What?

No, seriously, he knew he’d uttered that word a lot these past five minutes—even if only in his head—but what?

“You had to get him angry, though,” Kwan muttered, bumping shoulders with Dash. “You know that’s not the only way to make them glow.”

“Yeah, but it was the easiest to push him into,” Dash easily admitted.

And then, while Danny was still reeling, feeling like he’d missed at least seven steps in this conversation, Kwan stepped in closer and shot him a bright smile. “Thanks, Fenton. I feel a ton better.”

“Uh, yeah.” Danny blinked, watching the two of them wander off like nothing happened. “You’re welcome?”

“Man, what was all of that?” he muttered to himself, staring at the empty hallway for a moment before pushing himself away from the lockers. He desperately needed to talk to Sam and Tucker, see if they had any idea what all of that was about.

Somewhere, he kind of wished that Jazz was still in Amity. She would definitely know what the hell all of that was all about.

Seriously. Dash had just casually muttered the words ecto-contamination, and then suggested that it was common enough for there to be accepted variants of it.

How had Danny missed all of that?

!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

“There’s Val,” Sam whispered, leaning in closer. Danny followed her gaze and, indeed, there was the girl they’d been looking for all morning.

Well, it figured that they wouldn’t manage to pin her down until lunch, but it was frustrating nonetheless. Sam and Tucker hadn’t known what the stuff with Dash and Kwan had been about, either, so they had decided to ask the only person they could reasonably ask: Valerie Gray.

But that, in turn, meant that they had to just sit on the knowledge until lunch.

At least she had picked a distant enough seat that they could talk in private. Small blessings.

“Let’s hope she actually knows what’s going on,” Tucker muttered, before nudging Danny forward. “You go first, dude.”

So quick to sacrifice him to the ghost huntress. Danny shook his head but walked over, slipping into the seat opposite of Valerie. “Hey, Val.”

“Danny,” she greeted him back, raising an eyebrow at Sam and Tucker, who sat down on either side of him. “Well, this feels like an interrogation all of a sudden.”

He shot Sam a meaningful glance, but she just grinned back, pushing herself to sit more squarely on the seat. Rude.

“Danny had a weird interaction with Dash and Kwan this morning,” Tucker started explaining, breaking the tension before it could really go anywhere. “We were hoping you could offer… I dunno, some clarification, since you know them better than we do.”

She snorted, leaning back slightly. “They’re Dash and Kwan. Every interaction with them is weird.”

“Well, yeah, but they were…” Danny paused, briefly hesitant to mention it—what would Valerie think of ghost-powered humans?—before powering through. “They were talking about ecto-contamination, and known variants of it.”

The look they got in response was flat. Flat, and clearly confused.

After a long and exceedingly awkward moment of silence, Valerie cleared her throat and asked, clearly hesitant, “None of you noticed?”

“Noticed what?” Tucker frowned, glancing between the three of them and Valerie.

“That pretty much everyone in Amity Park has ghost-like traits?” She raised a questioning eyebrow at them. “Everyone, but especially the kids here at Casper High, has ecto-contamination so bad that we’re all, well. Becoming a little ghost-like.” She paused, shook her head, then asked. “None of you seriously noticed?”

Danny drew back, considering his words, but before he could really think about it, Sam had already flapped a dismissive hand. “The three of us spend so much time in and around Fentonworks that we’re already contaminated to hell and back,” she dryly explained. “And honestly, Valerie, how much time do we really spend with anyone outside our direct circle?”

“Fair enough,” Valerie allowed with a shrug. “Right, so, it mostly seems to be caused by the Portal and the constant ghost attacks. I mean, obviously, right?”

“Right,” Danny agreed, ignoring the way his stomach was turning. He’d tried so hard to keep everyone safe, but had the presence of ghosts been endangering them all along? Had the spilled ectoplasm really affected people, and so badly too?

“Now, what we started noticing pretty early on is that people generally only display a single ghost power, once they become contaminated enough to actually have a discernible ghost power. Some people consider them distinct variants: people with invisibility, with intangibility, flight, etcetera.”

Sam and Tucker both hummed, thoughtfully. Valerie raised her other eyebrow at that, then shook her head and continued on.

“Generally people don’t get contaminated enough to display more than those basic powers, but exceptions exist, I guess. And your contamination is probably way worse than anyone else’s, except maybe actual ghost hunters like the Fentons.” She made a face. “And that’s assuming their jumpsuits don’t protect them, which I doubt.”

“I’m pretty sure they do,” Danny mumbled, trying to inconspicuously watch both of his best friends from the corner of his eyes. The more Valerie explained about the ecto-contamination that apparently haunted all of Amity Park, the more their expressions twisted into something they usually called “suddenly understanding weird shit that had been happening”.

It was, unfortunately, a somewhat common expression these days. What with ghosts becoming a common thing, and all that.

“I… Some of the plants in my greenhouse grow unusually well whenever I’m near. Some even seem to react to my presence…” Sam admitted, her voice quiet, uncharacteristically reluctant. After a moment of hesitation, she tacked on, “And sometimes, when I really really don’t want to deal with my parents, they just… overlook me, like I’m not there at all.”

Like she was invisible, they all heard, despite the fact that Sam didn’t say the words.

Seemingly encouraged by Sam’s admission, Tucker added on, “I rarely, if ever, charge my tech. Their batteries just don’t seem to empty as long as I have them on me. And sometimes when I’m digging into code, it feels like… like I can alter it directly, like I’m tapping into some inner world that doesn’t—shouldn’t—exist.” Just like Sam, Tucker also paused for a moment. “When I’m running from a ghost or whatever, sometimes I run into an alley that I know has a dead end and never hit the wall.”

Like he was just phasing through it, going intangible before he hit it.

Danny swallowed through the clog he suddenly found in his throat, watching Valerie turn a meaningful look to him. She wanted him to tell her about his— his ghost powers. But he couldn’t just pretend all of his powers came from the contamination of living at Fentonworks, could he?

And he definitely couldn’t pick certain powers as acceptable and others as not.

“I… I guess weird shit has happened to me too, yeah,” he finally admitted, cautiously, hoping she guessed the source of his reluctance wrong. “But I never really thought about it, to be honest. Anything I could blame the ecto-contamination for could just as easily be caused by actual ghosts.” And in a way it was, of course. Anything caused by his ecto-contamination was caused by an actual ghost: Phantom.

“But,” he tacked on, knowing Valerie wouldn’t just let that lie. She was far too stubborn not to investigate. “Dash and Kwan apparently saw me with glowing eyes?”

Valerie hummed, then nodded. “That makes sense, I guess. I know Kwan has the glowing eyes variant as well, so that would explain why they’ve been targeting you.”

“It’s been around that long?” Sam asked, leaning forward, clearly curious despite herself. “I figured it would’ve taken longer than that to show up.”

“Oh, no, that was long after I got kicked out of the group,” Valerie said dismissively. “But Kwan saw me with a ghost scanner one day, and he begged me to scan him. I guess he was seriously worried that he had been overshadowed, even if overshadowing doesn’t work like that.”

“I don’t think he got rid of that fear, to be honest.” Danny shrugged, uneasy. “At least, he seemed pretty cheered-up when I, uh, glowed my eyes at him and Dash.”

Tucker snorted, and Danny could see Sam crack a grin as well, probably at his word choice. Well, fuck them. What did you call it, if not “glowing your eyes at them”?

“Anyway, I can’t help but notice that we all told you, but you haven’t said a word about what you can do,” Sam prodded, nudging Valerie. “Come on, Val.”

“Yeah, that does seem a little unfair.” Tucker leaned forward as well, an expression of genuine curiosity on his face.

And, honestly? Danny kind of wanted to know as well. Her ghost hunting suit probably hadn’t protected her, and her new suit definitely didn’t. If anything, the Technus-made suit probably had just worsened it.

“I…” Valerie visibly hesitated, then gave in. “I can fly, a little. It’s not really all that great, but at least I won’t break anything if I ever fall out of a tree or something.”

She said it with a light tone, like it was just a casual joke. All Danny could think of, however, was all the times he’d seen Valerie fall off of her hoverboard, especially at the start.

He carefully does not wince.

“That’s pretty neat,” he forced himself to say instead. “Less lame than glowing eyes, at least.”

Valerie grinned back at him, but before she could say anything the bell rung.

“Guess we’d better head to class,” Sam said with a grunt, pushing herself off of the bench.

“Yeah.” Tucker got up as well, then nodded at Valerie. “Thanks for the explanation, Valerie.”

Danny followed suit, shooting her a smile. “Same. Thanks, Val.”

She had given him a lot to think about.

[itsclydebitches]

Rewatching RWBY there's this chilling lack of empathy through the volumes that I used to just wave off. Yang has no empathy for Tai, Blake is just entirely about what Blake needs, Weiss almost kills a woman at a party and her takeaway is 'my dad is mean so I'm going to run away'. Qrow sinks hard into depression in vol. 6 and Ruby's reaction is to yell she's never needed him. No one has EVER helped a civilian. It's so prevelant. Knowing how 7&8 go really changes the earlier writing.

I think there was a great deal of well-written empathy in the early volumes — after all, this cast was designed as the kind, well-meaning heroes — but that care was expressed almost solely within the group itself. Ruby sits by Jaune in the hallway and says "Nope!" to his self doubt. Weiss offers Ruby a hand up after she fails to kill the death stalker. Yang seeks out Blake and gets her to open up about what's bothering her. Now, I want to emphasize that there's nothing inherently wrong with this. It actually makes perfect sense. These are our main characters and they're written as peers co-habiting the same space. Of course whatever emotional growth we get, which automatically includes moments of compassion, would be directed towards each other. Similarly, the dynamics originally introduced — that of teachers and parents — likewise (rightly) puts the burden on the adults to provide the comfort, not the other way around. Port snaps Weiss out of her arrogant mindset. Ozpin reassures Ruby about her leadership worries. Tai is there to support his daughter when she's recovering from a lost limb. That's the natural order of things, so to speak.

The problem, to my mind, begins to occur when the group exits those dynamics. They're no longer students, they're licensed huntsmen. They're no longer kids, but equals who never needed adults in the first place. They're no longer doing things for themselves and their friends on personal downtime, they're doing them for the community at large as a profession (to say nothing of the world-altering war they've insisted on shouldering responsibility for). That's what a huntsmen is meant to be, a defender of the people, not someone who uses that power for personal interests alone. All of this is a huge change from where we started out: cutesy kids going off on comparatively low-stakes adventures because one or more of their teammates are invested, only just beginning to realize that they're signing up for a job where their desires come second (that fireside conversation at Mountain Glenn).

This change invites — demands, really — that the audience read them differently too. Qrow's spiral in Volume 6 is a good example of this. If Ruby is demanding to be treated not just as an equal in terms of maturity and experience, but also as the primary leader of this group, then the viewer expects her to treat her uncle as an equal too, not dismiss his hardship. I've seen numerous fans defend that arc with some version of, "He's her uncle. He's supposed to take care of her. He's failing" but that, according to the show, is no longer the dynamic. Qrow is now just a member of Ruby's team, someone she's responsible for as their leader. It's easiest to see the problem if we switch out Qrow for any of the other members. If Blake developed a drinking problem, do we think Ruby would just shout at her until she magically got over it? If Jaune endangered the group, do we think they'd all be angry about it, rather than trying to figure out the source of what caused the mistake? We don't even need to think hypothetically for that one because we saw it on screen. Jaune attacked Oscar and drove him off, not just threatening him, but arguably endangering the whole team by requiring a search party. Fans have long insisted they had to steal that airship right then because being in Argus was too much of a risk, but if we buy that reading (which I personally don't, but), then that means Jaune made things exponentially worse by forcing them out into that super dangerous city, rather than allowing everyone to stay hidden inside. He made a massive mistake which, according to the logic of Qrow's arc, should be met with frustration, disdain, and eventual demands to get over his anger at Ozpin or ship out. But, of course, he received nothing but concern. Yang was worried about him, not Oscar. The search becomes about his grief for Pyrrha and his team's willingness (as well as Pyrrha's family member) to provide more comfort. Suddenly, the tendency to express care solely towards those within the group becomes a flaw the story won't acknowledge.

And then it spirals. The thing to remember is that no single act here is bad on its own, especially when we consider that yes, we want flawed characters. Rather, it's about the pattern. Ruby is allowed to get mad at Qrow for his behavior and chuck her scroll in frustration. She's human. I'd be crazy frustrated too. However, if Ruby is meant to be written as a caring, sympathetic character, she should not only respond to the situation with frustration, yelling, a refusal to listen, and demands that he follow her lead, no questions asked. We can, and should, acknowledge that Weiss was the victim during that party. Her father was hurting her, the woman was beyond insensitive, Weiss was triggered in regards to a horrific event, and her power acted on its own. However, if we want to write Weiss as a compassionate, mature huntress to-be, she should acknowledge that she nearly killed someone — even an asshole someone — and vow to work on her control because she's not willing to put someone in danger like that ever again. Both of these moments have a "They could have been handled better" response attached to them — the former more-so than the latter imo — but these moments are made far, far worse due to later events in the show, events where the characters are cruel without any justification attached. Weiss didn't mean to attack that woman, but she did mean to ignore Whitely and threaten him with her weapon. So once we see that, it informs our understanding of what came before it. "Oh. The fact that Weiss never reacted to nearly killing someone isn't just a bit of missed potential, it's an early indicator that she... doesn't seem to care. If she endangers people, threatens people... that's fine with her." The group has a right to be frustrated with Qrow. The group did not have the right to magically steal Ozpin's entire life story, assault him, and blame him for the world's problems until he felt his only course of action was to run from them. So when we see that it becomes, "Oh. The fact that the group treated Qrow so poorly isn't just a one-time mistake born of a stressful situation and young adults being out of their depth in regards to alcoholism. They really will just abandon anyone the moment they start making mistakes." Anyone outside of their group, that is.

To say nothing of how all of these moments interconnect. Yang's recovery isn't just about getting used to not having an arm, it's about getting used to having a new one. Weiss' party isn't just about nearly killing someone, it's about not committing manslaughter because someone else stepped in. The Volume 6 arc isn't just about trying to escape with the Relic, it's about trying to get it somewhere safe. Fans frustrated with Ironwood's treatment don't harp on these details out of some desperate attempt to make him look good post-murder spree, rather, they recognize that he's a character that's been around since nearly the beginning, originally written as a good guy, and thus has accumulated a number of key connections with the cast. So when none of those connections are acknowledged during an arc about trust... that makes the group look very uncaring. Yang doesn't care that he gave her the arm, Weiss doesn't care that he saved her from hurting/potentially killing someone, Qrow doesn't care that he's trusted Ironwood for years (in a rival-bros way) and that they've been heading towards him this whole time. And when Ironwood begins to spiral, they don't do anything to try and help him, let alone acknowledge that their own choices, that lack of trust and empathy, had a hand in getting them here. "But it's not their responsibility to fix him!" Isn't it? Even a little? Just as human beings seeing an ally struggling under horrific decisions and circumstances? Sure, they don't have to try... but that doesn't make them look very heroic to my mind. And we can't even shrug that off by simplifying things with, "Well, Ironwood is evil now so who cares about him." They simultaneously don't care about finding Qrow who is missing, then captured. They don't do anything to try and find their missing teammates, with the exception of sending May to do it instead. They don't help the army fight off the grimm. Don't try to make sure Pietro and Maria had portals to escape through. Barely hesitate when the newly resurrected characters goes, "Kill me. That's the easiest thing for everyone." And these are just a few of the big ticket moments. It doesn't even begin to cover all the details we get that paint a picture of, "Wow okay. They just really don't care about people outside the group, huh? I mean, they say they do, in a life-or-death way, but they're not putting forth effort to show it on a daily basis."

And if you pick up on all that, if you acknowledge how much the group has changed based on where they started out, you might wonder when in the world that started. Surely we didn't just flip a switch around Volume 6. So you re-watch early stuff and, sure enough, there are moments that feel like setup for what's to come later. Not intentional setup (quite obviously), but a lack of care towards details across the series that, once the dynamic changed, became far, far more pronounced. Characters should be at least somewhat recognizable from start to finish, especially characters who have only experienced about two years of in-world time, so if we now get to see Ruby blandly commenting on all the people who are dying, or Weiss using her weapon as a means of coercing her little brother into doing what she wants, or Yang and Jaune dismissing Ren until he gives in to their point of view... we're going to look for the beginnings of that behavior early on. As you say, we were able to wave all those little details off due to a number of important factors. Now though? Now they feel like they hold a lot more weight, simply by virtue of that early material proceeding what we have now.

[harryspet]

secret service | bucky barnes

[Warnings] secret service!bucky x reader, reader is vp’s daughter, bodyguard!bucky, agegap, noncon/dubcon sex, brat tamer bucky, dominant x submissive, rough sex (wear protection kids!!)

A/N: this is for @nsfwsebbie​ ‘s dream fic challenge. Happy b-day sab! this is @mypoisonedvine​ ‘s dream fic and the prompt was “I would love anything dark bucky, especially if he starts out all nice and stuff but then he's all manipulative and it gets worse and worse until we're in heavy dub con/non con territory”. hope you enjoy bb!

In which a political trip to London allows you to be reunited with your favorite secret service member, Bucky Barnes. 

taglist: @peterztinglez @lovelynerdytraveler @buckybarney @hollandsdream @micki-smiles @buckybarnesplumwhore @arts-ismything​ @saharzek​ @lovemassivelybeautifulbouquet​ @what-is-your-wish​ @marvelslut-musicalnerd​ @brattypeony​ @hermayone​ @buckysugar​ @mandiiblanche​ @cherienymphe​

word count: 3.9k 

main masterlist

“You’ll need to be on your best behavior this weekend. We can’t have an incident like last year.”

You didn’t meet your mother’s eyes as you looked out the window of the private plane. Surprising to most, this time you spent watching her read her millions of paperwork was the most time you spent with her. Your mother cared for you but she was not warm. You didn’t believe a warm person could make it so high in the government. Being the daughter of the Vice President, you saw the kinds of dirty, manipulative politics that went on behind the scene. 

You wanted little part of it but, here you were, about to land in London for an important public event. 

“Y/N? Are you listening?” She continued to talk despite your lack of an answer, “That means you tell your agents when you’re going somewhere. I don’t care if you’re only walking down the hall to the ice machine, you tell them. You’ve known this since you were a little girl, I don’t know why you always give me a hard time.”

“I’m already here alone, Mom. Must you torture me further by suffocating me?”

“I know you must think it’s fun to rendezvous with some foreign prince but I must ask you to keep your legs closed for this trip and listen to your security.”

Your mouth parted. She thought of you as some whore but the truth was that you were far from the persona she forced upon you, “You don’t know me at all. And Alden isn’t a prince, his father is a prince. He’s just a duke,” You faked a smile and she scowled at you. 

You weren’t expecting her next words, “I have a surprise for you when we land.”

You paused for a moment, trying to read her face. She was perfect at disguising her true emotions and, as her daughter, the thought that you didn’t really know your mother was saddening, “A surprise? I thought you were lecturing me.”

“You won’t listen unless I bribe you, Y/N,” Just as the words left her mouth, the pilot spoke on the intercom. The plane was beginning its descent and in a moment you’d be landing. One of your mother's assistants had to approve all your outfits for this trip. After some discourse, you decided on a light pink dress for your arrival look. It hugged your curves the way you liked but it reached down to your knees modestly as your mother preferred. 

When you were finally stepping down the stairs to the plane, watching your mother wave to the press, and the diplomats ready to greet her, you realized what your surprise was. Two sleek, black cars waited at the end of the red carpet and the sight of the man standing in front of the second one made your heart race. 

It took everything in you not to run to him. His dark hair was styled neatly, his arms folded over his nicely pressed black suit and a soft look of happiness was displayed on his strong face. He was just like you remembered him, the earpiece in his ear and the gold pin on his lapel reminded you of his position. 

“This is my surprise?” Your mother turned to you with a grin. 

“I know how much you like Agent Barnes, maybe you’ll actually listen to him. You’re going straight to your hotel room, I will see you later tonight.”

“Of course, my beloved mother.  Like all teenagers, I love sitting in my hotel room and doing nothing while I’m on a trip.”

You watched your mother walk away from you, going to the first car while you approached the second car. Your speed picked up as you neared him. He opened the door for you, winking, “Girl Scout is in the Stage Coach. I repeat, Girl Scout is in the Stage Coach.”

Everyone the secret service protected had a codename. You’d been a proud girl scout for most of elementary school and then middle school when your mother went from Senator to Vice President. The name stuck and you thought it was annoying now that you’d grown out of that phase but you liked the name on his lips. 

As you carefully slipped inside the car, you were beaming and, as Bucky slipped in beside you, you had to wait to pounce. You attacked him with a hug as soon as the doors closed and none of the crowd could see you through the tinted windows. You felt his hand against your back, hugging you tightly and it was then that you realized how touch starved you had been. 

Everyone you came in contact had to go through your guards and that was often an intimidating process for most guys. Even though you had started college, you decided to avoid boys altogether because of this. 

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Your eyes were wide even as you pulled away from him, “How?”

Bucky gave you a soft smile, “Well I can’t tell you all the details since they’re top secret but, let’s say, my mission didn’t take as long as predicted.”

Your eyes narrowed at him in curiosity, “So you killed the bad guys and they let you come back to play babysitter?”

Bucky shook his head, giving you an amused look, “So crass. I see nothing has changed,” He leaned over and, for the briefest second, you thought his face was leaning into yours. Instead, he had reached over to grab your seatbelt as he safely secured it around your waist. Your cheeks heated up and you found yourself looking into the rearview mirror where you could see the two agents sitting in the front seat, “I apologize for being gone so long.”

“You didn’t miss much,” You said to console him, “Just senior year which was nothing special.”

Seeing him now made you think about meeting him those six years ago. He was so young then, just having served in the Army, but somehow aging had made him look even better. You had a feeling he was just as king and loyal as before. You were just a middle schooler at the time, hormonal, and constantly fighting with your parents about your lack of freedom. Maybe you hadn’t changed much either. 

You watched him fasten his own seatbelt as the car began to take off, “Nothing special, hmm?” He cocked his eyebrow, “What about prom? Graduation?”

“Oh, it was effectively ruined by my arch-nemesis. He stole my spot as Salutatorian, my prom date wouldn’t stop talking to him about nanotech for the entire evening, and guess who got into Stanford for early admission just like yours truly?”

“Little Peter Parker?” Bucky chuckled. 

“He’s not so little anymore,” You crossed your arms, pouting, “He’s only jealous that my mother was chosen as Vice President and his uncle was chosen for the lousy Secretary of Labor position.”

“Seems he must like you a lot to follow you to Stanford. To move all the way across the country,” You gave him an incredulous look, “C’mon, princess, don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

“Of course I’ve noticed,” You rushed out your words, trying to ignore that feeling you got when he called you princess. If anyone else had said that, you’d probably feel disgusted but … you couldn’t help but think that term of endearment had changed its meaning. The truth was that you never thought Peter liked you and now you were worrying that your lack of social awareness had caused you to ignore the warning signs, “The last person I want to talk about is Peter Parker, Bucky.”

“Fine,” He folded his hands in front of him, sighing. 

“Besides,” You side-eyed him mischievously, “I have someone far more important who feigns for my attention.”

“Oh yeah?” Bucky leaned in. 

“A duke,” You finished.

Bucky’s face seemed to fall, “I can’t imagine you as a duchess,” You couldn’t imagine yourself as one either but you liked the excitement that Alden brought you, “And your mother informed me of what happened last year. I’ll probably lose my job if something like that occurs again.”

“You’d tattle on me? I thought we were friends, Bucky.”

“That was when you were a harmless little girl. Now, you’re …” His eyes seemed to roam over your face then they fell to your neck but they moved back to your eyes before they could travel any lower, “You’re going to make this hard on me, aren’t you?”

You reached out to tap his cheek playfully and smirked, “I missed you.”

+

You weren’t sure exactly what holier-than-thou charity that these rich people had gathered in ball gowns to donate to. It was probably a minuscule fraction of their wealth and they most likely were only here to keep up appearances. Still, you enjoyed a chance to dress up. 

You moved through the historical museum in a red ball gown, admiring all the expensive artifacts, as Bucky escorted you. You expected your mother to be with you during the event she’d forced you to attend but it seemed that she was once again too busy. You would’ve felt lonely if Bucky hadn’t been there. The other agents kept their distance, wearing tuxedos to blend into the rest of the crowd as they watched you from a distance. 

Every now and then your conversation with Bucky would be interrupted by a message coming through his squiggly earpiece. 

He looked quite handsome tonight and by the outline of his biceps against the fabric of his tuxedo jacket, you could tell he had bulked up over the last year. 

“Madam Vice President had a run-in with the Prime Minister's wife. Turns out they’ve been dying to talk. She’ll meet you once the auction begins.”

“Oh, an auction, is that what this is? What endangered species are we saving tonight?”

“Funny,” Bucky added sarcastically, “... I don’t see your prince around. Perhaps he found another famous daughter to entertain for the night.”

You gave him a venomous look, “That cannot be possible when I look like this,” You emphasized your glamorous look that had taken nearly five hours to get on, “Now, would you please escort me to my table? I’m sure he’ll come and find me once you’re not standing beside me like a big tree.”

The truth was that you had no idea if Alden even remembered you from last year. He did make out with you but who knows how many famous daughters he had tried to entertain before. You hated how right Bucky seemed. 

Bucky didn’t add anything to your harsh words as he escorted you into a large ballroom. It was so elegantly decorated that the room smelled like money. Blue stripes of light wavered through the room making it feel like you were in the middle of the ocean. You couldn’t help that the feeling of drowning that she experienced was a bad touch on the organizer's part. 

Of course, your mother’s table was right near the front of the room. As Bucky pulled back the white chair, you took a seat, not meeting his eyes, “You’re dismissed, Mr. Barnes,” You spoke over your shoulder. 

To your surprise, he leaned down to whisper into your ear, “You cause any problems tonight, princess, and you deal with me.”

Your mouth pinched into a thin line as you were left speechless. When you looked back, he was already walking away, taking his position by the far wall. You looked away quickly, mentally cursing. So much for having the upper-hand. You slouched in your seat, looking around the hall which was now flooding with people. 

A few people you vaguely remembered having a conversation with approached you to talk. Hollywood celebrities, European politicians, and even famous designers hoping to get you to wear some of their designs. Lately, the paparazzi loved to follow you as you walked to class and gossip sites loved to talk about what you wore. 

Everyone was so busy trying to get your attention that you hadn’t noticed someone slip in the seat beside you, “You look like you need something to drink,” You were a bit startled but you immediately recognized his voice. It seemed a year had made him more handsome as well. With one hand he grabbed yours and kissed it and with the other he handed you a glass of champagne. 

“Your grace,” You greeted him, accepting the glass. You had almost forgotten that you could legally drink here. Despite that, you knew it would be improper to your mother. That’s why you took a sip, “Thank you so much-” You winced at the bitter taste but continued to sip. 

The young duke was tall and red-headed, his face peppered with adorable freckles. His royal get-up was even more attractive. 

You looked back at Bucky who was staring intently, “Is a night of fun in the cards for us?” You turned back to the Prince. 

“I’m not supposed to rendezvous with royalty anymore. My Mom was not happy with me.”

He leaned back casually in his chair, his leisurely nature was surprising to you, “Is she usually happy with you?”

“Touche,” You took another painful sip, “Still, I’m not supposed to leave this table and I’m supposed to go straight back to my hotel room. No funny business.”

“No shenanigans whatsoever?” He frowned and you wondered why the British accent was so heavenly, “You must, at the very least, keep me entertained through whatever ceremony this is-”

“An auction, your grace.”

“What endangered species are we trying to save this time? It won’t be enough money anyways since they decorated this place with literal diamonds,” You smiled as you saw him reach into his jacket pocket and pulled out a flask, “Something stronger, perhaps?”

+

Bucky tapped his foot, starting to tune out the voice in his ear. 

The room was now full of socialites, Madam Vice President had been escorted to her seat, and now the auction was beginning. The Vice President hadn’t so much as hugged her daughter so Bucky doubted she had noticed you were drinking yet. The young Duke would refill your glass with a clear liquid every time it ran low. 

You were now giggling and laughing with him as a serious speech was given. You had to be at least six shots in. You played with his hand in your lap, leaning over to whisper in his ear, as you had the time of your life. 

Bucky didn’t panic, only made a quick decision, “Girl Scout is in need of some rescuing. Clear the exit.” 

Bucky scanned the room and his men began to follow his orders, as he approached your table. Before you could take another sip of your drink, his hand was on your shoulder. Your mother flashed him a concerned look but Bucky gave her a look to tell her not to worry. Luckily, she hadn’t noticed yet that you were about to go off the rails. 

“Want some?” You smiled lazily as you lifted your glass. Bucky took it from you, setting back on the table. 

“I think you need to use the bathroom, Miss Y/L/N,” You gave him a confused look. You wondered why he was being so stern with you. 

“Nooo, I think you have the wrong woman, officer,” Bucky grabbed onto your hand, urging you up from your seat, “Let me deal with this rude man, your grace, I’ll be back soon.”

It seemed the Duke was in a similar, drunk state and simply replied with, “Return soon, my darling. I shall wait for your return-” You couldn’t respond because Bucky was trying to pull you away. Luckily, Bucky hadn’t managed to cause a scene but he knew you’d end up getting blackout drunk and embarrassing your mother if you continued. 

Agents flocked around the two of you as you were guided out of the room. You almost tripped on the long skirt of your dress though Bucky easily caught you. You held onto him, giggling, “You couldn’t make it one night, could you?” You walked through a long hallway, staff carrying large plates of food passed and stared. 

He brought you to the bathroom which was ginormous in itself, chandeliers hanging across the length of it, and completely empty, “I don’t think you’re supposed to be in here, officer.”

He leaned against the wall, “Walk around. Splash water on your face. Sober up.”

You rolled your eyes, leaning against the sink counter, as you stared at your makeup. As if you would ruin your makeup to “sober up”. 

You pouted, staring at him through the mirror, “I didn’t mean to make you mad, Bucky. Only my mother.”

“Your mother is my boss. When you upset her, she’s upset with me,” Bucky was terse, and you wondered where that soft side was starting to disappear to, “You shouldn’t be drinking anyway.”

You huffed, hating that this conversation was starting to ruin your buzz, “I’m not a child. Don’t tell me you never had a sip of alcohol before you were twenty-one.”

“You think you’re more mature than you actually are,” You couldn’t help the scowl that formed on your face, “You’re not drinking for fun. You’re drinking to spite your mother.” 

He moved closer, his hands behind his back as he sunk his words into you like a knife. You turned to him, taking a challenging step toward him. He towered over you but you clung to that anger and turned it to what you thought was confidence. 

You grinned up at him, reaching out to play with the buttons of his jacket, “I thought you knew me better, Bucky,” You looked up at him with longing eyes, “I’m not a little girl anymore and you know that. You look at me differently. Your eyes linger on places you shouldn’t even be watching.”

Bucky grabbed your wrist tightly, suddenly, “Stop,” You knew you had touched a nerve. 

“See, I know these things now,” You teased, “You like it when you can swoop me up and save me.”

“It’s my job, Y/N,” He spoke sternly. He was still holding you despite his words. 

“What is it that you really want from me?” You pressed yourself closer to him, “A kiss maybe? Or something more forbidden?”

His eyes were dark with lust and you watched them linger on your lips at the mention of a kiss. What exactly did you want from him and what hole had you just dug for yourself? The alcohol was giving you courage but you weren’t actually sure how to finish what you started. 

Bucky decided for you. He turned your body quickly, pressing your back into him, as a hand tightened around your throat. He faced you toward the mirror and the two of you were illuminated with bright lights. Your eyes widened as you watched him lean into your ear, “You’re such a brat ….”

Maybe part of him wanted you to mess up. Maybe he wanted a reason to get you alone with him and away from the royal douche that you were talking to. Maybe he let you get to this point ... 

“Bucky, what are you-” His hand tightened around your throat and you felt your knees go weak. 

He shushed you, “You asked what I really wanted. I want to punish you, princess,” Shivers went through your body as his warm breath tickled your ear, “I want to fuck you speechless so you can’t talk back with that smart little mouth of yours anymore.”

You started to struggle against you but you felt his fingers tighten around the sides of your throat. His hands were so big that they wrapped perfectly around your neck, “Hands on the counter,” He loosened his grip but only so he could push you forward. Like instinct, your hands held the sink counter. You turned your head to look back at him but he grabbed your hair, forcing your face forward, “Look forward, I want you to be able to see your pretty face while I fuck you.”

“Bucky, I’m sorry,” You forced out shakily as you felt the back of your dress being slowly unzipped. Through the mirror, you watched as he carefully took in the view of your body, “Please don’t hurt me-”

“Have I ever hurt you before?” He interrupted you, his hands traveling over your bareback, “I’ll always protect you, princess. I just think, if I’m going to keep doing my job, we need some new rules.”

The straps of your dress fell down your shoulder, exposing your breast. Again, as you tried to look away, he forced your face towards the mirror again, “Don’t be shy now,” He pulled down your panties, slapping your now exposed bottom, sending a stinging pain through your skin. 

There was aching between your legs and part of you feared what he’d discover when he took a closer look. As you watched him undo his belt, a dark look in his eyes, you knew that he was going to push you all the way. He slapped your ass again, watching your body convulse as you tried to run from the pain. Surprisingly, his intimate touch only made that aching grow. 

Upon closer examination, Bucky did discover the wetness between your legs. You bit down on your lip as his fingers roamed over your sweet spot, rubbing your sensitive bulb. You bent over further, allowing him more access which caused Bucky to smirk. 

Something switched in him once again because suddenly he was pouncing again, positioning himself behind you as he pushed you further against the counter. He wanted you to see his face as he entered you, roughly grabbing your hair as he teased you entrance with his hard, throbbing cock. 

“Please…” 

“Please what? You want me to fuck you?” You closed your eyes, unwilling to answer, only to receive another smack to your bottom, “Don’t worry about what you want, princess, I’m making the decisions here.”

He stretched you as he slowly entered you and you tightly wrapped around his member, “Fuck, Y/N,” He cursed, moving deeper inside of you. At that moment, he was all that could feel, and all that consumed your thoughts. He moved torturously slow in and out of you and you gasped every time he sunk his entire length within you. 

“Bucky!” You cried out, your mouth wide as you gripped the counter for dear life, “Ah, t-t-too big … p-please. Ah!”

He moved faster now, reaching around to grab ahold of your breast as he thrust inside of you. You called his name again and that only made him speed up his pace. He was torturing with his ferocity and now you wished he’d go back to taking it easy on you. You watched in the mirror as he split you apart, taking whatever innocence you had left within you, “Good girl, princess,” He praised you, “Taking my cock. So. Good.”

He was moving too fast now. With each thrust, he was hitting the right spot and sending pleasure in cascading waves through your body. You couldn’t take it, already tightening around his cock as you orgasm. You tried to run from it, trying to pull your body forward but he grabbed your arms, forcing you back onto his cock. Tears stung your eyes as he went even deeper. 

When he finally came, he grunted hard, his moaning deep and heavy. You were defeated, conquered, though you didn’t understand why being violated could feel so good. 

You leaned against the counter as you tried to catch your breath. Bucky ran his fingers through his hair, breathing heavily, before pulling up his pants and tightening his belt again. He adjusted his earpiece before looking at you over again. Shaking, you were pulling up the straps of your dress.

“Sober now?” He asked, a wicked smile on his face. “Let’s try yes sir and no sir from now on. Understand?”

“Yes… Sir.”

+

i love the whole secret service concept so i hope you enjoyed it too!

[caesthetix]

SAY A LITTLE PRAYER — Pt. 1 Blind Belief

↪Eren Yeager mini-series

↪content; major character death, canon universe, heavy angst, established relationship, spoiler for season 4

Tick tock. Tick tock.

Usually, if you and the rest of your friends were together, the room would never be this quiet. The second you guys walked into a private space together, someone would let out a joke or harmless snide, followed by laughter and a half-assed reply.

But not now, not when someone was missing from this circle of friendship.

Everything was still so vivid in your mind, in all of your minds. How you cheered after the attack in Marley could be considered a success, your arms wrapped around Sasha and teased her that she would be back to eat Niccolo's food — and then seeing him again, now with brown hair reaching his shoulders and a thin facial hair adorning his face.

There was an urge to tackle him with affection, you even let out a sob the second you laid your eyes on him in Marley. Though Jean assured you that there would be time for that. And with how your lover had his hands restrained within handcuffs and chains, you knew that now was not even the right time.

Those emerald eyes darkened when they fell on you, as if he was so disgusted by your mere presence. The excitement and longing that you felt was gone in an instant as you tensed up from his cold upbringing.

He was not hostile to anyone, anyone else but you.

With a heavy heart, you decided to just get back to the rest of your friends, letting Armin and Mikasa handle whatever would happen next. You could feel his emerald eyes weighing your body for every footstep that you took. But you never turned your face to him, afraid to see such emotion twirled inside his orbs.

What happened next felt like time passed in slow motion.

You closed the metal door, leaning your back as you took a deep breath. Connie was waving his hand toward you, laughter and cheers filled the room, and you could not help but smile, letting the joy of winning this attack seep into your heart instead of swallowing in worry of why your lover looked at you like that.

And then you saw it, little hands crawling up inside the airship. You saw it, when two familiar kids that you knew as warrior candidates infiltrated the place you were in. And you saw it too — the long rifle on her tiny hands, one eye closed as she aimed it at anyone, would be good if it was an important person.

You could not process what happened next after that.

Your feet brought you fast to your friends, ignoring how some of the soldiers looked at you with a question mark on top of their heads. You could not breathe, you were almost there, you just needed to push them all away and they would be saved.

Bang!

You gasped as you could feel the bullet grazing your hip. The pain was excruciating even for you, you felt it once leaving a hole in your arms back then inside Reiss Chapel, and now you felt it again. But thinking about your own injury was not your priority right now.

Your priority was to open your eyes and scan the faces of your friends. Connie was looking in your direction with jaw hanging slack. Jean had his pupils widened at the sight of you — and how your arms wrapped around Sasha's neck.

It was warm, suddenly you could feel a warm liquid seeping through your uniform at a rapid pace. A second later and crimson was now splattered upon your face as your friend choked out blood.

The next, her body went limp. The next, your vision was blinded with tears.

You pushed Jean away as he screamed at you to snap out of it, one hand gently touched your wound that you could not feel as your heart was ripped apart, even way more painful than the physical pain.

The night was not supposed to end like this, with the death of your comrade, with the death of your best friend. Meat, that's what she said. That was the last word that slipped from her lips.

It suited her. When you let the word roll down your tongue, it was so Sasha.

To remember someone as gluttonous as her even thinking about sharing the precious food all those years ago, you could only let out a bitter laugh.

Your fingers slipped in between her damped strands of hair, full of battle sweat. She loved it, saying that it made her feel secure, but only if you were the one who did that. No one else but you, not even the handsome chef.

You were supposed to do that with her head laying on your thigh, both of you rambling about what food Niccolo would cook for everyone once the airship touchdown safely in the Island of Paradis, home.

But it was not possible as the light in her eyes was forever gone, soon followed with pitch-black flooding your vision.

You let out a sigh to stop yourself from recalling the night even more. Your head was gently resting on Jean's shoulder, opposite you was Armin and Mikasa, both quiet as they were busy with their own thoughts.

"How is your wound?" Jean whispered as he knew how quiet it was in the room, didn't want to bother the others with the chit-chat. His question made your hand move subconsciously from your thigh to touch the bandaged side of your hip. "Is it still hurting?"

You chuckled softly at his question, which earned you a raised eyebrow from your friends as they were now focused on your direction. Not wanting to worry them, you raised one of your hands to dismiss their concern aside.

"I am fine, it was nothing." Clearing your throat, you tried to sound as sure as possible. "You guys knew I felt worse than this before."

Slipping a laugh from your lips, your friends were all having a thin smile on their faces. You were always the positive one, a naive — if they decided to go with what people said about you. Someone so pure and caring to everyone that she loved, yet if something endangered her loved one, she could turn into a monster.

"He didn't even say anything."

But the warm atmosphere only lasted for a few seconds.

"He knew that you were injured, that you lost so much blood too." Connie's eyes never left the windows in front of him, he was the only one who didn't smile at your attempt to loosen up. "But what?" You glanced at him, seeing how his hand balled into a fist. "That bastard Eren didn't even blink or care for you."

"Connie!"

Mikasa hissed at the truth that was being thrown in the air. She didn't know what angered herself more at this point. It was either how Connie insulted Eren for being apathetic, or his words that she knew too well left a sting of pain in your heart.

"Mikasa, it's al—" You stood up abruptly in an attempt to calm her down, but the pain jolted on your hips, making you gasp as you felt the wound stretch a little. She ignored Connie, and in an instance was striding beside you as her hand rested on your back, easing you to sit down again beside Jean.

"Don't rush. You are still healing."

The ravenette had her hands going up and down to distract you from the pain, Connie was silent for a while as he felt guilty for lashing out like that. You couldn't blame him, he lost half of his soul once Sasha took her last breath. You knew the pain, you were just better at hiding it.

Silence engulfed the room once again as your friends focused on making you feel better. You didn't want to worry them, and you could only curse at yourself for hissing out of pain like that before.

Connie was distressed, no. Everyone was distressed at this point for losing a dear friend. You knew at the back of their minds, they would think that this grief they felt right now would never exist if only Eren did not try to infiltrate Marley with the rest of the Survey Corps.

Well, that was true, but you felt like there was more to it. There must be a reason why your lover wanted to show up this night. Either it was just because he wanted to get revenge as fast as he could (a reason that you thought was enough to remember how emotional he used to be), or maybe it was just a start of a longtime plan, but you just believed that there would be a good reason for his doing.

"I am going to talk to him."

You voiced out your thoughts, and that even made Connie whip his face toward you. "He must have felt so lonely down there." With your head hanging low, fingers fiddling around the promise ring that was given by Eren after all of you reclaimed Shiganshina, you were making up your mind. "Maybe I could get him to talk, any kind of information would be important, right?"

Your friends looked at you as if you were crazy. Everyone could see how much he had changed. From a suicidal maniac, to now an empty, emotionless human. They even wondered if he was still human or not with how eerie his aura could be from time to time.

"Don't be stupid, he didn't even say anything when Captain Levi asked him." Jean scoffed as he straightened his back, perhaps wanting to intimidate you.

"Jean is right, with how unstable Eren is right now, we know if he wanted to, he would do something drastic." The soft voice that belonged to Armin filled the room, the gear inside his brain never stopped spinning to think of all the possibilities that might come if you decided to confront the long-haired brunette.

Mikasa stayed silent, while Connie felt like he needed to say something. But as his eyes landed on your pained expression, he decided to shut his mouth for now. He wouldn't say anything, at least not when you were around, not with how much you loved Eren and his words might make you sad even more.

"But I need to." You said out loud sternly, in the process, are demanding everyone to agree. "He loves you, all of you. But his love for me was not just a friendship or brotherhood bond." You squint your eyes a little as your words felt like you were trying to convince yourself. "It's romantic love." And it was stronger.

They gulped when they heard your statement. Even Armin could not argue that you might be the only one who could make Eren open up. You never pitied him, you were there to support, to cheer, to believe that he would be alright, even on the battlefield that was supposed to worry you with how low the chances of survival was.

And with how you treated him, the blonde knew that his best friend appreciated you even more than Mikasa. Because you treated him like a man, because you believed in his ability to manage a life and death situation, because even though you mourn with him while he was thinking about his mother, you were there to provide comfort, not to gaze at him with orbs full of pity.

"Even though we all agree to that," Armin paused, thinking for the right words. "How are you going to visit him? No one was allowed to go down there."

There was a smug smile tugged on your lips as you stood up, palms dusting your wrinkled clothes before walking toward the door. Your aura was reeking with confidence as if you had everything planned out. The blonde should have known by now. Whatever happened, nothing could actually separate you from Eren.

"Well, Armin, you knew that Hange had a soft spot for me, right?" You wiggled your eyebrows playfully, earning a little chuckle from your friend. "If only you guys showed interest too when they talked about titan, which is actually interesting despite their non-stop excitement, you all might get some extra privilege!"

Jean shook his head in amusement when he thought about it, you were the only one (except maybe Moblit — oh, Moblit, you missed that man) that could listen to Hange rambling about how magnificent titan was.

Mikasa and Armin only showed soft smiles for seeing your antics, while Connie just stayed silent and scratched his now (slightly) longer hair.

"Alright you suicidal girlfriend, go on then." Jean playfully insulted you, making you snort for it had been months since the last time you heard that nickname. "Just don't move around too much, walk like a proper lady."

"Bruh, even Historia walked like she stomped the ground anywhere she went." You rolled your eyes before settling your hand on the door's handle. "And she is the queen."

Jean snickered from your words before laying his back on the soft cushion. Somehow feeling at ease that the tension from before was now slowly replaced with a relaxed atmosphere. You hummed softly before opening up the door, now ready to search for Hange.

Hopefully, this plan will work out. Hopefully, he could open up to you.

"Alright, see you—"

"Be careful, okay?"

You jolted, slightly taken aback when Connie cut you off. Something was lingering there as he spoke, as if he knew something that you didn't know. It was like a warning, telling you not to let your guard down.

"My, my, Connie." You let out a soft chuckle and take a peek from your shoulder to look at your friends once more. "This is just Eren, he wouldn't do anything to me." Assurance, always tried to make everyone around you felt better. And you could see from the corner of your eyes that Connie's shoulders started to relax.

Gripping the handle a little bit tighter, you sighed before dazzling them with a wide smile. "Okay, see you guys later. Love you all!"

Your ears didn't find any answers from them. But the snort that you heard, and the little chuckle and a visible smile on their faces were enough for you to close the door behind with a soft click. Now you were ready.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ༶•┈┈⛧┈〄┈⛧┈┈•༶ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Once you left, the room was once again engulfed with silence. An impatient sigh slipped from Jean as he peered at the clock wall once again. It had been around an hour after you left. With how long you have been out, they were all sure that somehow you could get a yes from Commander Hange.

Though, he could not remember how it came to this. At first, they were all just talking about the war, the infiltration in Marley, or what Commander Pyxis thought about the plan. They were all sharing what they thought, everything was civil.

Until Connie asked, with terror in his eyes, whether Eren who was now locked behind the bar, was the same person that they all used to know. Jean knew that he should have kept his mouth shut, he should not have argued back to Mikasa.

But he was desperate, he wanted her to see the truth.

"That must be because he trusts us!"

Yet he knew, no matter how much Eren would stray into the darkness, even though sometimes there were times when she doubted, she would follow that man.

Just like you, sadly, just like you.

But you were so much more in another level of faith.

Both you and Mikasa put Eren on a pedestal. You were like his worshipper, giving your heart completely to the man with emerald eyes as if he was God. Praises would be sung, and no matter how your mind was a lot more rational than the ravenette woman, you would still believe him as the most devoted follower.

And Mikasa saw him as a saviour, extending his hand to her so she could keep on living. She believed that without him, she would have died a long time ago. To know that a man like Eren Yeager had not one but two powerful people who would gladly do anything for him, made Jean's blood boil.

"Mikasa," Connie whispered out, finally turning to face them all again. Even though Jean currently had his head hanging low, somehow he could see the terror in his friend's eyes. "What do you think Eren did when Sasha died? What do you think he did when he saw (Y/n)'s unconscious body with blood all over her torso?"

Mikasa was lost, it was as if she wanted to plug her ears so she could not hear what came next. "Do you think he cried? Do you think he was frustrated?" His voice was stable, yet everyone could hear the sorrow coated in his words. "He didn't even panic when he saw his goddamn lover with a weak pulse!"

"Connie, stop it."

"That bastard laugh, Mikasa! That bastard you called family dared to laugh when Sasha died!" And now the dam has broken. "I wonder what he found so funny. Which part of Sasha's death?" The water had flooded their mind, the truth once again made them question their comrades.

Connie did not want to break you even more, holding back his question before when you were there. And on top of that, he knew that somehow you could make them believe in Eren with how smooth you were with words.

He could see how you would stand up and hug him, he could hear your whisper of how Eren's laugh was something out of grief, maybe because that man remembering something beautiful from the past that made him mad at the universe. He knew that you would do anything to make sure they all still believed in Eren without force. Just by your words.

Maybe that was the reason why Connie spoke up now. Because he knew that Mikasa could never answer his question, so he could have someone to blame, so his selfish mind could at least unleash his frustration on someone else.

"Tell me, Mikasa." He continued, needing to release his sadness away by anger. "You know everything about Eren, right?" An answer would never slip from the woman, so he pushed, again and again. "Why did he laugh over Sasha's death? Why was he not even afraid that his girlfriend could be dead too?!"

Knock knock.

Connie gasped for air.

He leaned his back to the window, hands slowly went up to his head, nails scratching on his scalp as he tried to compose himself. No one knew who that was. And they immediately straightened up their posture as they waited for their guest to come in.

If it was you, you would just open up the door with a bang, as childish as you could get. They would see a smile and excitement beaming from you as you gushed at how glad you were to have a chance to talk with your lover. Your friends could see it all, knowing how predictable you were sometimes, especially when it came to Eren Yeager.

But they surely did not expect Commander Hange themselves to be the one behind the door. Jean, Mikasa, and Armin immediately stood up. Connie walked toward Jean before they were altogether given the surprisingly quiet commander a perfect salute.

"At ease."

This was scary. They all just got back from a traumatic infiltration with how their closest comrades died in the battle. The Commanders themselves gave them some time to relax, telling them that the report and meeting would be held tomorrow instead of right after their return.

So now, they were all questioning the same thing.

Why would Commander Hange have an expression that they would only show when the situation was deadly serious?

Armin's brain never stopped working, he tried to understand the situation by scrutinizing every detail that he could find from the veteran scout. Hange's body was still, lips shaped into a thin line as their eyes fell into the air. They didn't look at any of them, eyes empty as if they were trying to drain any kind of emotion out from their heart.

"This would be hard for all of you."

That was the first sentence that they said after a long pause. Breathe in, breathe out, blue eyes that belonged to Armin now could see the sweat and the tremble on Hange's hand. He could only swallow a huge lump as he waited for further information. "I shouldn't have let—"

The commander cleared their throat when realisation dawned upon them that they almost broke down in front of those who deserved to know the truth. Fast.

Everyone was now alarmed with how vulnerable their commander was standing in front of them. Hange that was never let anyone control their fear and emotion, now completely ruined with whatever guilt that seeping inside their mind. Everyone thought the same thing. "I am sorry."

They were broken.

Mikasa was now agitated. She wanted to push them for just spitting out the information. All she ever wanted was just rest, and with how the commander had something that they needed to share, somehow she doubted that she could get any rest soon.

"(Y/n)'s dead."

And now, she was sure that she could not even get any rest at all.

"I found her body already slumped on the ground."

She was screaming, a massive headache struck her as if it would split her head into two. Armin tried to calm her down, but it was no use with how panic his voice sounded right now, not even including the hiccup and sob that followed after as he finally processed the information.

Connie laughed like a maniac, thinking it was a joke. Now maybe he knew why Eren laughed when he heard Sasha's death. This was too painful to understand, too much to be taken in one night after everything that happened just a few hours ago.

And then there was Jean, who only had his legs wobbled a little.

"Where?"

Jean was the only one who dared to ask, who was still collected enough to push all the truth on the table. "Commander Hange, with all due respect. I needed to know. We needed to know." Even in between all the sobs and agonizing screams, the two scouts stared at each other with an unreadable expression on both of their faces.

"Commander Hange," He called out again, "Where did you find her?"

Silence.

Four pairs of eyes immediately flee toward the brown-haired scout.

They all indeed — needed to know.

"Eren's cell."

Everyone gasped, simultaneously. And they thought about the same thing, they were sure that someone tried to kill Eren and you were caught in between. They already had their eyes blazing with fire, ready to hunt down whoever dared to steal your life away.

Maybe a Marleyan, yes, or maybe some random soldier who had seen so many deaths on the infiltration that made them mad.

But the world was just as cruel as it was already.

They could only wish it were that simple.

"And there was no sign of someone breaking in."

↪Back to Wall Maria

↪Send an ask if you want to be a citizen of Paradis (taglist)!

[mandoalorian]

Pain Is For The Living [Javier Peña x F!Reader] - Chapter 2 (SMUT)

Summary: Sex work in the heat of 1980’s Colombia was never going to be a walk in the park. Especially not when you had a crush on your number one client, agent Javier Peña. You’d been warned about him and his reputation, but after one very specific incident that would change your life forever, you find yourself attached to him like never before and you’d do anything to make him yours. Even if it means endangering your own life.

Warnings: 18+ SMUT (protected p in v), allusions to sex, reader works in a brothel, PTSD, anxiety, panic attack, mention of drugs, guns, character death, typical Narcos themes.

Word count: 4000>

Pain Is For The Living Masterlist

*reblogs appreciated! Ko-Fi in bio if you want to support me!

The office was dead, like it had been for the last three weeks. No new leads. Nothing. The days dragged and honestly, it felt like the case was growing colder and colder. Escobar had gone completely off the grid, hiding out in La Catedral, his very own self-built prison in the depths of Medellín. But the DEA didn’t know that yet. So, they made an attempt to shift focus, at least just for now. After all, any narco they captured would be a win. They’d been tracing Juan Diego Diaz, otherwise known as La Quica, believing that the sicario would eventually lead them to Escobar himself. But La Quica was just as cunning as any other narco and following him was not an easy challenge. If it wasn’t for Steve Murphy, the DEA would’ve most likely shifted focus again - but Murphy and La Qucia went way back. In 1981, just a few years ago, La Quica shot dead Kevin Brady, Steve’s old partner back from Miami, and so to say that Steve had a personal feud against La Quica was an understatement.

Javier Peña didn’t realise he was about to gain a whole vendetta against him too.

Within a second, every phone in the damn embassy began to ring. Javier and his partner, Steve Murphy exchanged a glance, and their eyes trailed up to Horacio Carrillo who answered the call. “Colonel Carrillo,” he introduced himself. Javier and Steve watched as their colleague took in the information on the other end of the line. Carillo erratically gestured for a notepad and pen, and Steve quickly threw him one his way. “Wait, wait… are you sure? Are you sure you saw him? How many eyes? With another man? Who? Who?” Carillo pressed pencil to paper and began to scribble the details down. “How many dead?... Shit, okay. We’re on our way now.”

Carrillo slammed the phone down on the hook and took a deep breath, rubbing his hands over his face in dismay. “We got eyes on La Quica,” he announced, and Steve immediately grabbed the handgun from his desk drawer and shoved it into his jeans. The whole office cheered, apart from Javier and Steve. This was good news considering the DEA had no lead whatsoever for the past three weeks, but if Carrillo’s demeanor over the phone was anything to go by, Javier and Steve knew they shouldn’t be celebrating just yet. “No. No,” Carrillo chanted, raising his voice in order to silence the rest of the department. “Three hookers. Dead. Shot.”

Javier froze up completely as he processed the words.

“By La Quica?” Steve beckoned, his voice dripping with venom.

“We don’t know. But we have eyes on him. He was seen.”

“Where?” Javier asked finally, his face expression stone cold.

Carrillo eyed Javier up and down, swallowing a nervous lump in his throat. He knew it was the brothel that Javier frequented...and Javier Peña was quite unpredictable. So, after taking a brief moment to prepare for Javier’s reaction, Carrillo finally gave the name of the location. “Desiderio.”

Desiderio. It was the brothel where you worked. His eyes flicked over to the wallclock before his gaze met back with Carrillo’s dark eyes. He had literally been there, with you, two hours ago. If he had just gone two hours later… he could’ve put a stop to the attack. Hell, he could’ve been the one to find an arrest La Quica. But Javier’s hero complex was short lived when all he could think about was you.

“Do we have names?” Javier asked. “Who was killed?”

What if it had been you? What would Javier do then? You were younger than the other girls, polite and bright eyed. You were brand new to Colombia, and Javier swore you were too good for the dangerous life you had managed to get yourself caught up in. Being a sex worker in 1980’s Bogotá? It was only a matter of time something happened to you. 

“No names,” Carrillo confirmed. “Peña, with all due respect, I ask that you go in and investigate the scene. You know the girls better than anyone else in the department. Maybe you could identify some of the bodies.”

It was like time was frozen, and Javier felt sick to his core. Javier was used to death and bloodshed; this was a war on drugs - however, it hit different when it was close to home. When it was a place he had been, or it was people who he knew.

Javier Peña was a complicated man. He didn’t talk about himself or his feelings. Truth be told, he didn’t even let himself feel. But right now, as anger swirled in his stomach, he decided he wasn’t going to waste anytime at all. He paced back over his desk and grabbed his handgun before bolting to the car that was already waiting outside for him. All eyes followed Javier’s movements but no one dared to make a comment. Apart from Bill Stechner, of course.

“Not everyday you see the department of drug enforcement’s noted womanizer get worked up over a whorehouse shooting,” Bill commented, a smug grin playing on his lips. “Didn’t think agent Peña had it in him.”

“Shut the fuck up Bill.” Steve rolled his eyes, not even bothering to humour the CIA agent’s out-of-pocket remark. Everyone in the district knew about Javier Peña’s reputation with the ladies. But of course, you were new.

“The Search Bloc and I will go after La Quica. Steve, you stay on the down low with agent Peña and investigate the crime scene. We’ll have guards protecting you from outside the brothel.”

“I want to go after La Quica.” Steve argued but Carrillo pointed a finger.

“No. You stay with Javi. Partners,” Carrillo reminded the blonde haired man. “Besides, you’re the DEA’s best photographer.” Carrillo smirked, thrusting a Polaroid camera into Steve’s chest. Steve let out a low grumble in response, before shaking his head and following Javier out of the office. Partners. And right now, Steve saw the primal glint in Javier’s eye. Agent Peña was seeing red.

As both Javier and Steve were being transported to Desiderio, Javier made an attempt to dial a number on the carphone multiple times. Your number. Of course it was a dead line. And that only worked up Javier more. The never ending ringing sound signified that you weren’t there, and Javier’s heart was pounding against his chest. It was the same kind of adrenaline as when he found Helena tortured by Gacha’s men in Medellín. Steve knew better than to ask his friend who he was so desperately trying to call, but it was the last of his instincts to assume it was one of the sex workers from the brothel. Because renowned womanizer Javier Peña didn’t form attachments, especially not to women, right?

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

At some point or another, you had passed out. Maybe you’d cried yourself to the point of exhaustion. Maybe the reality of what you had seen had hit you like a ton of bricks and you had fainted. How could you possibly know? But when Javier and Steve stormed the lobby of your workplace, you were laying on top of Rosa’s body, as still as could be. And that’s when Javier’s heart sank.

You weren’t moving, and his mind shot to the worst possible outcome. He raced over to you and fell on his knees, dragging your body off Rosa and cradling you in his arms. You were absolutely saturated in your best friends blood, and by holding you, now Javier was too. He briefly glanced down at Rosa and placed a hand on her forehead, trying to feel for any sign of warmth -  any sign of life. Javi sighed and ran his hand through his dark locks of hair before bringing it back down to you. He cooed your name a few times, desperate to earn some sort of reaction. Thankfully, on the third calling, you stirred a little, indicating that you were in fact alive.

Your perfect eyes fluttered open and in that moment, Javi swore his heart stopped. Thank God you were breathing. “You’re safe now,” Javier whispered. “I’ve got you.”

“Javi?” you asked in disbelief. Surely not. The way he was holding you was the most affectionate he’d ever been with you, and it felt like a dream. Maybe it was a dream. Maybe you were dead and this was your journey to the afterlife. God was finally giving you a chance with the one you loved so much. You said his name again, raising a shaky hand to cup his cheek. You brushed your thumb over his jaw and along his mustache, and when you smelt his familiar musky cologne, you knew you were somehow going to be okay.

Javier picked you up and carried you back to the car. “We have a survivor!”

Steve replied but to you it was just a haze. You could hardly keep your eyes open and when you did, everything was a blur. Your clothes were stuck to your skin, due to the mixture of blood, sweat and tears. You knew the second you were outside because the orange setting son burned against your skin. You stirred and mumbled, but Javier smoothed out your hair and hushed you. He opened the back seat of the DEA car and lay you down.

“Hey, hey listen, I’m DEA,” Javier whispered. “I don’t talk about it, but I’m here to help you. I need to head back inside now and help my partner out, but I won’t be long. I promise.” As Javier turned to leave, you grabbed his hand and he looked back at you.

“Please don’t go.” you sniffed, tears free falling down your cheeks.

And normally, Javier would’ve shrugged it off. He had a job to do, and he couldn’t just stick around you because you felt unsafe. They had counsellor’s back at the embassy for that. All he had to do was use the carphone and call them out. It wouldn’t take him two minutes. The only problem was, Javier didn’t want to do that. He didn’t want anyone else to hold you and comfort you. He wanted it to be him.

So, he swallowed the nervous lump in his throat and slid into the back seat next to you. He maneuvered your body so your head was resting against his jean clad lap, and he continued to smooth out your hair. Despite your red puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks, you were still so beautiful.

“Hermosa, what happened back there?” he asked quietly after a moment. Between you and Javier, there was never an uncomfortable silence. It was his job to find out, but asking you straight up when you were so clearly traumatized, felt insensitive. Nevertheless, what else was there to say? He had to do it sooner rather than later.

“I’m sorry.” Javier mused, closing his dark brown eyes as he mourned.

“They killed Rosa,” you whispered shakily, doing your absolute best to remain composed and not fall back into an abundance of tears. Javier looked out the car window and held back a sigh. Well, he knew they killed Rosa already. “And Juliet and Martzia.”

Javier didn’t know who Juliet and Martzia were, but his heart sank at the revelation. Three deaths that could’ve been stopped.

“La Quica,” you croaked, and Javier’s head snapped to face you. “Was his name. But there were two, I think.”

La Quica… that was the name Carrillo had come up with. It was who the DEA had spent so much time looking for. But two? That was the first he’d heard of it. Carrillo and the cop department only had eyes on La Quica.

“Do you know the name of the other man? Or what he looked like?”

You did. At one point, his name rang like bells in your ears. He was friends with Rosa, or so you had thought. You knew his name… you knew his face until suddenly you didn’t. You couldn’t make sense of it or understand it, but it was like everything that happened back there had just become a fuzzy blur. It still hurt so much but… you couldn’t match actions to faces, or names to bodies. All you could see was Rosa and her sacrifice. All you could see was the way her body fell to the ground, crumpled up in a pool of her own blood. And then the screams and cries.

“Are you okay?” Javier asked due to the delay in communication. Your mouth felt dry and your fingers felt numb. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Listen, I can take you home, but the embassy is gonna want to interview you at some point in the near future. La Quica is dangerous, and I don’t know who this other guy is but I wouldn’t feel good about bringing you back to your apartment and leaving you there. I can send over additional security measures but, listen. I know you. And,” Javier took a deep breath not sure if he was about to regret the proposal. “If you’d prefer, you can come back to my place. Stay there for a few days. High security and you’ll be with me. Someone you know. I know that, if I was you, I wouldn’t wanna be alone right now.”

And for the very first time, your pretty plush lips curled into a smile. “You’d really do that for me?” You whimpered, nuzzling your face into his shirt.

“Of course.” Javier hummed, pressing a soft kiss into your forehead.

Was it unprofessional, inviting you over to live with him for the foreseeable future, the moment you had become an essential asset to the case? Yes. Fuck yes. But Javier Peña was not someone who played by the rules. He’d done this plenty of times before, when he shouldn’t have… but it was truly the right thing to do. Besides, you weren’t like any other informants. He knew you. He cared about you, more so than he’d like to admit.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You were very sleepy, and you couldn’t bring yourself to talk all that much. Javier understood better than anyone. He helped you out the car, carried you through the embassy apartment complex, unlocked his door (albeit with great difficulty), threw his keys haphazardly on the kitchen counter and gently plopped you down on the brown leather couch. Pulled out a crocheted blanket, he wrapped it over you, ensuring your warmth. He padded into the kitchen and filled you a glass of tepid water before looking in the refrigerator. Empty. Javier didn’t cook. In fact, he rarely even ate. When he did eat, it was take-out or fast food. Something quick and easy that he didn’t have to bother with. But now he had company. He sighed, and closed the fridge, glancing back at your sleeping body. He figured he’d have to go grocery shopping.

He picked up the phone and dialled Steve’s number, but his wife, Connie was the one who picked up. “Hey Con, Steve there?”

“Yeah. But he’s pissed with you Javi.” Connie sighed on the other end of the line. Javier scowled. He understood. It seemed like he pissed off people quite easily.

“Could you put him on?”

Connie didn’t reply but judging from the scuffling, Javier assumed she was handing the phone to her husband.

“Javi,” (“Steve,”)

“What’s up?” (“I need to ask you a favour,”)

“After today’s stunt? Not a chance.” (“Y/N was a mess, Steve. One of her best friends died in the shoot-out. I wasn’t just going to leave her,”)

“Javier Peña. Ever the hero. What do you need?” (Groceries. She’s gonna be staying with me for a few days. I can use the time I spend with her to gain her trust. Try and work out what exactly went on,”)

“Javi, she’s vulnerable. She’ll need therapy. You really want to use her as an informant?” (We’ll get her therapy from the embassy. Steve, I don’t think we have any other choice.”)

“I just think it’s a bad idea, but, it’s your call Peña.” (“I’m going to head to the market before it closes. Can you or Connie come over to watch her? She’s asleep so she won’t be much trouble.”)

“We have Olivia.” (“So bring her. Or don’t. I don’t care. Steve, please.”)

Javier waited patiently through a silence followed by a long sigh. “Okay Jav, but you owe us. We’ll be over in five minutes.”

“Thanks Steve, I’ll see you soon.”

Javier put the phone down on the hook quietly and padded back over to the sofa where you slept, crouching down and taking your hand. You didn’t deserve this. You were so soft and full of life, and everytime Javier saw you at the brothel you were always beaming. You were too good for this life. He knew you’d get hurt, one of these days, but that didn’t mean it was right. And suddenly, Javier was filled with vengeance. He couldn’t bear to think how the shoot-out would come to affect you, but he knew, in that moment, he would seek justice. Too many deaths, too close to home. Javier whispered your name, his breath fanning over your ear. You were somewhere in between consciousness. You could feel his presence but everything felt so dream-like. “If you can hear me, I’m going to head to the store. Buy us some food, okay? I won’t be long, and I have friends who will be watching over you. You’ll be safe, I promise.” Javier said before pressing another kiss to your forehead. He just couldn’t resist it. You stirred upon feeling the bristle of his mustache graze your skin and he drew his face away, not wanting to wake you completely.

“Hi Liv,” Javi cooed, leaning down to Steve and Connie’s little girl and pulling a face.

“So that’s her?” Connie asked, putting Olivia down.

“Yeah,” Javier sighed, and began to introduce you.

“Why do I get the feeling that you know her?” Steve quirked an eyebrow and Javier felt his cheeks flush with heat. “Are you one of her regulars?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but yeah, I suppose I am,” Javier retorted, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Con, if I’m gonna cook her dinner, what would you recommend?”

Connie stifled a laugh before turning to Steve. “Steve, you hungry? Javier’s offering to cook.”

“Hey that’s not what I meant--”

“He does owe us…” Steve smirked. “Paella sounds good.”

Fucking paella. 

“I could just bring her Taco Bell,” Javier considered out loud.

“I like paella.” Steve reiterated.

“Me too,” Connie agreed. “Paella is delicious.”

“Everyone likes paella.” Steve commented.

“Oh my god would you shut the fuck up about paella?” Javier groaned, causing Connie and Steve to laugh in unison. 

“Make her paella and bring us the leftovers,” Steve grinned, patting his friend on the shoulder. “And be quick about it.”

“Whatever, Murph.” Javier sighed, rolling his eyes before grabbing his wallet and car keys.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Seeing Nina working as the supermarket cashier was the last thing Javier expected.

“Javi?” she smiled that familiar gorgeous smile, her eyes sparkling as she scanned through the items of food. “It’s so good to see you. Been a while.” she commented, her gaze not leaving the agent’s once. 

And for the first time in a long while, Javier smiled. The stress of the stake-out and investigating the brothel, and taking you home had been a lot on him, but seeing his ex-girlfriend helped bring him back down to earth. If Nina could even be called ‘ex-girlfriend’. It wasn’t ever official, but he and Nina had been fucking on and off for around 6 months last summer and Javier was actually committed to Nina during that time. She came into his life unexpectedly, to say the least.

“How long have you worked here?” Javier charmed as he bagged the groceries.

“Two months, it’s been good to get out of the house,” Nina grinned. “You're still working for the DEA I assume?”

“Yeah.” Javier hummed, quickly reminding himself of you and the way you were sleeping on his sofa. He looked back up from the bag of rice and at Nina. Come to think of it, she resembled you quite a bit. Same hair colour, eye colour, skin tone… only she wasn’t as distinct. She didn’t have that flare about her, like you did. Maybe Javier had a type after all. 

“I get off work now,” Nina announced, flicking her wrist upright and checking the time on her watch. “Are you busy or? I was thinking… it would be nice to catch up, maybe, if you wanted.” Nina ducked her head down awkwardly.

Javier didn’t forget about you once. He didn’t forget about the fact he had a traumatized sex worker sleeping on his couch, or how he’d invited his partner and his partner’s family over to watch over you while he got ‘groceries’. But catching up with Nina would be nice. The right thing to do would be to reject Nina, and perhaps make plans to see her when Javier wasn’t so swamped with work commitments (if he could even call you that). But this was Javier Peña. He supposed Steve and Connie could wait just a little while longer, besides, they’d never find out. Javier was a good liar. He could make up some excuse about having to travel to a different grocery store or something. So, he agreed.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Nina’s apartment had barely changed since she and Javier had ended things. Still quaint, decorated with plants in every corner and full bookshelves. It was a clash of tongues and teeth as Nina navigated inside of her home, not pulling away from Javier once. She moaned against his lips and he grabbed onto her back, pinning her against the wall and knocking a few things off the coffee table.

“Missed this,” Javier confessed, nudging his nose against Nina. In the moment, he’d forgotten why he’d ended things in the first place. Nina wrapped her hands in Javi’s dark hair and tugged on the locks at the nape of his neck. Javier groaned wantonly and reattached his lips to hers as she let her hands maneuver down his body, unbuttoning his shirt and working at the zipper of his jeans. “Fuck Ni.”

She pulled off him and began to discard her clothes. “Bedroom Javi, I have condoms.” she hummed, taking Javier’s hand and guiding him through her apartment as if he didn’t already know the way. He’d never forgotten, really. 

This was wrong. On so many levels, this was wrong. He should be back home, with you. If anyone was to find out about this… well, Steve would be furious, for a start. But Javier genuinely couldn’t stop thinking about you. He didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing, because if he wanted to be with you so bad he could easily just go back to his place and sit with you on the couch. The idea of that wasn’t the worst in the world. But also, he was about to get laid by Nina who looked so much like you… he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

He was whipped. Thinking about your lips on his… your hands caressing his muscles. She might have resembled you, but she tasted different, her voice was different, and her attitude. She just wasn’t you. 

Once Javi was all wrapped up, he pushed into Nina, and settled deep, his movements rough and fast. He grabbed onto her tits and gave them a squeeze, but they just didn’t feel like yours. They’d do though, for now. His grunts and her moans filled the room as she chanted his name, and he could feel himself nearing orgasm. He dipped his head in the crook of her neck, biting down on her skin that just wasn’t as soft as yours, and as his dick throbbed inside of Nina, and when he reached his climax, he made the biggest mistake of all.

He gasped your name like it was the sweetest prayer to leave his lips. He was fucking Nina but shit, he said your name.

Javier Peña said your name.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

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[magnhild]

Nora Valkyrie, Identity, and Purpose

Hey everyone, Blaire here, and almost exactly a year ago, I made this mess of a post where I laid out all of my thoughts on Nora and what I thought the show could have in store for her.

And honestly, most of my ideas were way off, and not at all correct. Also, the post kind of flopped.

Thankfully, Volume 8 has given me a chance to redeem myself, and write another, more coherent, essay about my favourite RWBY character; where this Volume seems to be taking her character, and what it means to me, personally.

Buckle up.

To the vast majority of people in the RWBY fandom, Nora is the least-developed character, and the one most lacking in dimension. Most of her character seems to be defined by two things; her energy and love for fighting, and her relationship on Ren.

Volume 8 took note of these conceptions, and addressed them head-on.

Of course, any keen-eyed viewer will have noted Nora’s hidden depths even before this volume, which I noticed in last year’s post. She is perhaps the most perceptive of the main cast, at least, when it comes to people’s feelings and relaionships. She was the only one to really comment on Pyrrha’s crush on jaune, and the first to bring up Blake and Yang’s growing relationship. It was also her level-headedness that resolved RNJR’s argument in Volume 4, Chapter 9.

Volume 7 also showed us her innate desire to protect the weak, and her disdain to those who have the power to help, but refuse. I personally get the feeling that this was her driving motivation in becoming a Huntress; to protect people who cannot protect themselves, perhaps because she doesn’t want anyone to have to grow up as she did. Nora’s fury at Ironwood in V7C7 is esepcially signifigant, because it’s the angriest we’ve ever seen her before, even more so in that this anger is directed at someone with much more authority than her.

But these little details were only the tip of the iceberg. These were traits she already had, and while they help to add layers to her character, they’ve done very little in terms of her actual development. 

This is where Volume 8 came in stronger than any other.

Volume 7 hinted to us that Ren and Nora’s relationship was beginning to get more complicated, between their bickering, Ren’s dismissiveness at Nora, and their kiss in V7C6. By the end of the volume, it was clear that they were still struggling, despite their clear love for each other. Volume 8 carried this thread along, having them split into different parties, and Nora giving Ren a bit of attitude we’ve not really seen her direct at him before. 

She’s frustrated with him, and disappointed that he can’t see what she sees. But despite her tough front, V8C2 then hints that she’s sadder about the split than she’s letting on, after May brings up Nora’s ‘friends’. C3 then brings this to a head, where we get a conversation that sees Nora opening up to Blake and Yang, and revealing a deeply sad truth about herself- that she has no idea who she is without Ren, because she’s spent so much of her life with him and him alone, and her feelings for him have shaped so much of who she thinks she is. We’ve never seen her so hopeless and lost, especially after she reveals that, as far as she’s concerned, all she’s good for is hitting stuff.

Right in these few minutes, the show takes how the audience percieves Nora, and reveals to us that those two core traits are the gateways to a far deeper insight of her character. She’s known for her relationship with Ren, but wait- what about when he’s not there with her? She’s known for hitting stuff, but wait- that’s all she thinks she’s good for. 

It’s revealed to us that, not only is this how most of the audience percievs Nora, but it’s how she percieves herself. And for all her energy and upbeat attitude, deep down, she thinks incredibely lowly of herself. For all her confidence in her fighting abilities, she lacks confidence in herself as a person. 

Surprisingly enough, the ‘who am I?’ character arc is one that was hardly explored at all up until this point, despite it being one of the most common and signifgant character arcs in fictional media. And I don’t think many of us at all could have imagined that Nora would be the one to get that arc, when she’s always seemed so self-assured on the surface.

And then, when Penny is in need of help, Nora takes Weiss’ advice to heart, and does the one thing she believes she’s capable of- being strong, and hitting stuff.

Nora overcharging her Semblance to take down the wall is seen by a lot of the fandom as some kind of win for Nora; as her ‘big moment’. But while it’s certainly a really cool and badass scene, it was far from a triumph for her.

This was Nora at perhaps her lowest point so far in the series. This was Nora figuring ‘well, if this is all I’m good for, I’ll do it to the extreme’. This was Nora thinking her only purpose was to greatly endanger herself for the sake of others, because she figured she was the only one who could. And she almsot got herself killed for it. 

While certainly a defining moment, it was far from triumphant. It wasn’t a win. It was a self-destrcutive act that reflected how little she thinks of herself; that she’s not worth anything unless she’s pushing herself to the limit doing the one thing she thinks she’s good at.

And to drive the knife in harder, it backfires horribly. 

Because now she’s bedridden and critically injured, with scars that are probably permanent; a reminder of her lowest point, forever marked on her body. She can’t fight now, can’t help at all, and Salem has launched her attack on Atlas.

And in her half-unconsious state in V8C7, she realizes this, delivering an absolutely heartbreaking line:

As far as she’s concerned, her last attempt at doing what she thinks only she can do- what she thinks is all she can do- has prevented her from doing anything of worth at all. She lost one half of herself when she split from Ren, and now she’s lost the other half too. The two things that she defines herself by are gone. And the worst part is, we don’t know if she’s awar of the fact Salem has begun her attack. We could very well see her fully wake up, only to realize that the world has begun ending while she was unconsious, and she can’t do anything about it.

Now, this scene, and Nora’s struggle in this Volume as a whole, hit home for me in particular.

If you follow me on Twitter, you’re probably aware that Nora is only of my hightest- and only- kins. And I’ve only been able to relate to her more and more after what we’ve got of her in this Volume.

I am chronically disabled. I have a connective tissue disorder known as Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which fucks up my body in a multitude of different ways, but signifigantly affects the joints. For me, it hits worst in my back, ankles, and my fingers. The fingers are my main problem. To make matters worse, I’ve also been victim to intense pains in my shoulder, which came out of nowhere a couple of months ago and have only gotten worse since. The slightest movement aggrevates it. As any follower of mine would know, I am both an artist and a writer. I create both for fun, and I’ve studied writing as a profession. It is these things I’m known for being good at, and not much else. 

Thanks to my disability and my shoulder though, I have to do these things less. Even on perscription pain medication, it still hurts. It hurts to write this even now; my shoulder feels like it’s burning up from the inside. It will only get worse over time.

So, I’m finding myself in Nora’s position. I can’t do what I’m good at anymore, and I don’t know what to do with myself as a result. Not doing these things makes me feel lazy and unproductive, and makes me feel that the people around me will abandon me so long as i can’t keep providing them content. And I’ve gotta say, it hurts a lot, and I don’t just mean physically. 

Because of what I’m going through, it’s especially important to see my favourite RWBY character just so happening to be dealing with the same problem; the same loss of idenity and purpose. We don’t know who we are or what we’re good for without the things we think define us.

While I’m unsure of my own future though, I find comfort in knowing that Nora’s problem will be tackled and addressed; that her friends will help her to rediscover herself and find her true worth. And while we’ve got a while to go until we’ll be able to see the Volume continue, I’m incredibely excited to see where Nora’s arc goes, especially if we can get some backstory along the way. I find myself wondering if her life before Ren is part of why she thinks so little of herself without him- was it the way she was raised to think? Is this the fault of her childood circumstances? Or is this just something she developed on her own, after becoming too dependant on Ren for comfort?

Whatever answers we get, I have faith that Nora’s story will be told well, and I’m very sure that it’s only just beginning. Even if she finds her worth before the end of the volume, her story won’t be over yet, not when we’ve still likely got at least four more volumes to go after this one.

In just seven episodes, Nora Valkyrie has gone from one of the least developed characters, to one of the most interesting and relatable, at least, in my eyes. There is so much more depth to her character than having a crush on Ren, and being the strong girl who hits stuff. There’s a layer of tragedy to her character that we’re touching upon now, and I’m excited to dive into it.

Thank you all for reading!

[xenia-cenia]

Kaeya x Fem!Reader - To Heal

A/N-part 4... god razor and albedos are gonna kill me i FEEL it also wtf his backstory is so SAD.... enemies to lovers.... but only one sees them as an enemy..... god the brainrot is so good today 

Trigger/Content Warnings: Spoilers for Kaeyas backstory, minor character death, light swearing, PTSD/nightmares, blood, kidnapping

I promise it’s only half as angsty as it sounds

Word Count: 2,267

Request: No

Summary: You hated him. He loved you. It’s every romcom but this time, there’s trauma.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kaeya Alberich had the world beneath his fingertips. 

Very few people could resist his charms, good looks, or smile. Especially not healers who hung towards the back of the party and saved every life he put in danger. 

Kaeya Alberich was a genius. People would willingly divulge secrets that would ruin their lives to his kind gaze and warm smile. He was manipulative, he was a liar, he was a traitor.

No person in Mondstadt hated Kaeya Alberich more than Kaeya Alberich himself. Though, you were a close second.

“Captain!” You barged into his office as he tied his hair up into a ponytail, “You can’t keep endangering people like this!”

He turned to you with a confused smile, “Like what? They’re Knights, aren’t they?”

“It doesn’t matter! Eventually, my healing won’t be enough!” You marched over to him and slammed your hands down on his desk, “You are selfish! You disgust me.” He shot you a big smirk which caused you to spin on your heels and leave the room, your anger nearly tangible.

Kaeya leaned back in his chair and sighed, a goofy smile lingering on his face.

No person in Mondstadt loved you more than the soldiers who you saved. 

Though, Kaeya Alberich was a close second. 

He didn’t know why he loved you so much. By all accounts, he should hate you. He should despise the way you brought comfort into everyone's eyes, the way you always arrived just in time to save countless lives, how your power in battle nearly outmatched his own. 

He should be jealous. He should be angry. He should not be head-over-heels in love with you. He should not be trying to plan more carefully so your healing workload is lightened, and it shouldn’t even cross his mind to leave his door open so you don’t hurt your hands as you barged in here with your justified rage.

Kaeya melted into his chair as he tried to contain the thoughts that ceaselessly ran through his mind. He wanted nothing more than to hold you in his arms, sweat dripping off his face as he saved your life. And you’d smile at him, a shy and genuine smile, as you thanked him profusely. 

But he was no fool. He knew how deep your hatred ran. And he couldn’t blame you, by all accounts he was selfish. He was disgusting. He risked lives for his enjoyment, he loved seeing the fear in recruits as they ran from danger.

Did that make him a bad person? Yes. Yes, absolutely. He slept every night trying to forget their screams as they called for help. No. Not called for help - begged him for help. 

You seethed as you walked out of Kaeyas office. Too many lives were senselessly taken every day, too many people's blood-stained your hands. 

Just like... no.

“Stop it, (Y/N). You can’t think like that.” You shook the thoughts out of your head as you mumbled to yourself. You looked to your side and caught sight of your reflection in a window. You stared for a moment, a blank expression on your face before it fell into a glare. 

Kaeya Alberich brought anger into your heart. Kaeya Alberich made memories you’d rather die creep up to the surface and hit you with guilt. You hated Kaeya Alberich because he was...

“Dammit.” You slapped your cheek, “Cut it out.”

You walked back to your home and thought over what you’d do for the rest of the evening. Maybe a warm bath and tea? However, you did like the idea of belting songs from the privacy of your home... the possibilities were near endless! But, as usual, you would wash your hands first.

It didn’t matter if you hadn’t touched anything. It didn’t matter if they were already clean. You would wash them every time you had the chance. 

When you finally arrived home, scrubbed your hands, you decided to put the relaxing bath off for a different night. You collapsed onto your warm bed, happily covering yourself in your heavy sheets as sleep overtook you.

If you had any regrets in your life, learning how to fight would be your top one. As the only fighter in your small town, you were relied on for everything. (Y/N) go hunting, (Y/N) take out these slimes, (Y/N) head to Mondstadt, and purchase goods.

And you were there. You were there when the small army attacked. Why were they attacking? You weren’t sure. 

Families, friends, enemies. They all blurred together as you raised your weapon. In the end, you were the only one left. You weren’t out of breath nor saddened by the deaths.

Instead, you looked around the corpses that littered the ground and tried to hide your exhilaration. 

For the first time, you had to fight like your life depended on it. For the first time in your life, you could let your frustration out. And there, covered in blood, was a small icy ball. You leaned over and picked it up, wiping the blood off with your hands. A Vision.

And for the first night in years, you found you couldn’t sleep. Every time your eyes would shut, you would see their bodies. Every time you plugged your ears you could hear them call your name. Every time you breathed you’d remember that they never would again.

You spent years atoning for that day and dedicated yourself to saving lives. You mastered healing, it took the same precision as killing you quickly realized, and went to Mondstadt hoping that the City of Freedom could free you from these deeds.

It couldn’t.

Nothing could. 

Eventually, you found yourself working for the Knights of Favonius. As long as you didn’t swing a weapon, you were fine. You were just saving lives. You were keeping your promise.

So, why did it feel so good when their lives all depended on your choice? Why did you feel so powerful knowing you were essentially the God of these men? 

Did you only join the Knights because you knew violence and bloodshed would always be a part of you? 

You did everything you can to suppress these feelings. You swore off fighting, ignoring people's begging to duel you one-on-one. You’d lie and say holding weapons scared you, but it was always Kaeya who saw through your facade.

And that’s why you hated him. He was as bloodthirsty, evil, and selfish as you. He saw through each lie you spent years carefully crafting.

You hated him because he was you. 

One week later, it was time for another raid. 

As long as you were on the field, none of your allies would die. The raid started fine enough, you all charged into a Domain under Kaeyas orders. He froze falling rocks or spare enemies that could have killed his troops, as you stayed in the back and healed every scraped knee and minor wound.

Stay in the back. They had said. It’s safer in the back. Kaeya is smart. He’ll never lead us into a trap.

And you hated him. You truly hated him. But, damn, you trusted his plans. Even if it meant you had to work harder to keep everyone alive, you knew that the job would get done. Together, you were unstoppable. 

Maybe you put too much confidence in him. You couldn’t muster a thought as a bubble of water enveloped you. You tried to break it, but all you did was force your oxygen to run out sooner. 

With one last hint of desperation, you threw your vision onto the floor. And then, you fell unconscious.

Kaeya was no idiot. He saw the number of his troops dwindling and knew what happened. He ordered the stragglers to retreat, take the wounded and try their best to not die without him holding their hands.

When they were out of his sight, he immediately started to retrace his steps. 

He didn’t need to come very far to notice the Vision that was kicked around and sitting on the floor. Kaeya walked over to it and picked it up, rubbing his finger over the outside. 

“Cyro Vision...” He tossed it into the air, grabbed it, and continued walking. Once again, he noticed a trail of water that was slowly beginning to dry.

After not even 5 minutes of walking, he saw what he needed. A slightly askew rock. Kaeya chuckled to himself as he pressed his on it, the rocks pushed themselves aside and revealed a staircase heading down.

“Well, here goes.” He muttered under his breath as he went down the staircase.

The Abyss Mages had taken you out of the bubble and tied you to a table. You were waking up, groggy and confused, but when you remembered felt anger bubble in your stomach.

“What the hell!” You yelled at the two Abyss Mages who captured you. They both jumped and turned to face you, “Why am I here! I swear if any of my men died...”

“You’re awake.” One of them chirped.

“You’re awake-” you mocked, “did you think I was sleep talking or something?! Let me out of this!”

“We know about your true power.” The other one chimed in, “We know what happened that night. It was our allies who you killed. You must face punishment.”

You stared blankly before breaking out into laughter, “Wait - that was you guys? God, you’re pathetic! Can’t believe I was relying on someone to save me.” You began to struggle against the ropes.

“The ropes are sealed, they can only be undone with the work of a Vision. We know you are Visionless - none of the Archons would grant something as lowly as you power.”

“Oh,” you bit your lip, “that might be a problem.”

“So you accept your fate!” 

“Let our justice reign down-”

Kaeya, who was standing on the staircase watching this all happen, let a laugh slip out.

“-who was that?!”

He walked down the rest of the stairs and clapped his hands, “Great show you two have put on here.”

“K-Kaeya!” You yelled. “Did you grab it?”

He threw your vision to you, and just being near to it made the ropes fall to the ground. 

“I-Impossible!” 

You stretched, stood, and smiled widely at your kidnappers, “I hope I’m not rusty.”

Within seconds, the Abyss Mages were dead. Ice bit at your skin, and, once again, there was blood on your hands.

You looked at your hands and felt your body start to shake. Kaeya walked over to you but stopped when he saw the tears in your eyes.

“Don’t... don’t look at me.” You turned away from him, “I’m... I’m no better than them.”

His heart snapped in two, “(Y/N)...”

“You heard what they said. I’m a killer. I killed everyone I cared about and after everything, after every promise I made... I just... I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please, don’t look at me.”

“If you’re bad then I’m the worst.” He stepped over the corpses, “I didn’t cry when my Father died. I put everyone in danger for fun. I left... well, I can’t call him my brother now, can I?”

You slowly turned to him, “Kaeya, I-”

He kept his gaze on the ground, “I tried to make them happy. And I did- I do- really love him. Even if I’m not his brother, he’s still mine. I didn’t mean to hurt him. That’s all I ever seem to do... I hurt you. I hurt them. And I’ll do it again. I... I know all of their names. You probably don’t believe me, I wouldn’t blame you. I am a bad person.”

In a few steps, you reached him. He looked up at you and felt his eyes widen as his hand hovered above his cheek. You hit him. No, you slapped him.

“Stop talking about yourself like that.”

“Why? You think like this too.”

“Because you’re me.” You stiffened, “Everything you do is something I’ve considered. Every plan you make is one I dream of. Every life you put into my hands is one I know I can leave.”

“But you still...”

You kneeled next to him and grabbed his hands, “Because I am more than these thoughts. I know how much it’d hurt if I let them die, how much their families would cry. I see it, Kaeya. I see the ways you care for people. You can’t tell me it’s all an act.”

“What if I did?”

“I wouldn’t believe you. I don’t believe someone who hates his people would spend time listening to Glory or look into medicines for Anna. You do it even when you think nobodies looking and I...” you took a deep breath, “I’m sorry.”

“What?”

“My anger for you was directed at myself. I do think you need to change the way you plan things, have more care for people's lives.” You smiled at him and wiped the tears from his eyes, “I’m also really sorry for hitting you.”

“It’s fine, I deserved it.” He chuckled lowly.

“No, you don’t. You did like... a month ago. But not tonight.”

“So, what now?” He looked at you with small tears still in his eyes.

“Well, I think first we get out of here. Next, we should spend some time and work on ourselves. And finally...”

“Finally?”

You blushed, “Let me buy you dinner.”

The two of you left the Domain, and for a reason, no person in Mondstadt could explain, you and Kaeya became inseparable. His plans suddenly became more conscious of his men. 

And together, you began to heal.