#just wish my parents would love me aha rip

[foegs]

sometimes I really question why I came home

[bigteefsmallbrain]

SOULMATE AU HEADCANONS

So, Soulmate AU where when you talk out loud to yourself, your soulmate can hear you and vice versa, but actively trying to have a conversation with them doesn't work. I'm here, it's 8:43 in the afternoon as opposed to 3:29 AM when I first came up with this.

SOULMATE AU HEADCANONS FOR: Shoto Todoroki, Rin Okumura, and Sakura Haruno

Shoto Todoroki

Aha, good luck finding out you have a soulmate in the first place with this one

He literally does not speak out loud to himself

Not at first that is

He also is clueless about soulmates, like, as soon as he hears your voice he’s google searching “Why is there a voice in my head talking about how their family is disrespecting Ramen?”

When he does realize that it’s his soulmate, he won’t actively pursue speaking to himself or finding you

Actively being the key word here

He wants to believe he doesn’t care and that his soulmate, whoever they are, will just get in his way

But that doesn’t stop him from focusing solely on you when you talk

Or trying to reply to you sometimes

And it certainly doesn’t stop him from subconsciously starting to speak to himself

Which, by the way, scared the piss out of you the first time

You didn’t even know you had a soulmate till that point

so hearing a male voice in your head go “I can’t believe they only serve hot soba here”

Would understandably frighten you

He doesn’t even realize it at first until his father gets pissed at him for mumbling

And he’s just like “oh” and immediately stops, as soon as he realizes from then on

Like you’ll be going about your day, hear him start to speak, then cut himself off

Which is disappointing

His sudden radio silence changes drastically after his fight with Midoriya

Like after getting knocked out by Bakugo and being put into the infirmary, he decides to check over himself while mumbling or if Recovery Girl lists his injuries for him, he’ll repeat them under his breath

Which, scares you obviously, but you’re also glad he’s not dead or something

He starts rating cold soba that he has or has had in the past

Reviewing his day

Talking about Midoriya

Which worries you, does he have a crush? Are they just good friends? Is this ‘Midoriya’ going to steal your soulmate

I stg, Midoriya has become a love rival and the poor boy has no idea

You’re stalking him on the internet trying to find anything you can on him to make sure you can outdo anything he does

He can knit? Oh look, professional lessons and equipment

He does Yoga? Aha, you have never been more flexible in your life

Anything he’s done? You are now doing it better than he ever could

Todoroki doesn’t have this same fear, his parents weren’t soulmates, and he fully trusts you, you’re made for each other, literally

When you finally meet, it’s so unexpected, and he blue screens

Here? Now? Who? What’s yesterday?

He’s not functioning

Todoroki.exe has crashed

Person too pretty

You’re not any better though

Honestly, have you seen this man? He’s model material

Worth millions

You both stare at each other for a good while before Midoriya comes and breaks the silence

And Todoroki makes the mistake of going “Oh, hey Midoriya” and paying attention to him

The fire has been lit, RIP Midoriya Izuku, an innocent man

Rin Okumura

You have a collection of recipes

He talks A LOT when cooking, like, he’s a walking cookbook, going through each step and ingredient

Even for recipes of his own creation

Which he never writes down and frequently forgets

So when you meet, he’s convinced he died and went to heaven

All his beautifully crafted recipes and instructions, he may cry when you show them to him

He also reads out loud to himself, so prepare for that

All the Manga, any book he may read, some new recipe he found on the internet

He reads it out, and sometimes does different voices for other characters

Which is great and all, but since he’s a dropout, it’s literally at all the worst times

Doing a math quiz? He’s crying while reading a romance manga

Trying to study? Good luck with that, he’s dramatically reenacting a action manga panel

He watches Hell's Kitchen and other cooking shows

And RAMBLES

He’s talking about how this technique would be better

Or how he should try recreating that dish later

Critiquing how something turned out

Making a dish along with the show

Now, for him, every time he hears your voice, he freezes

Like, physically freezes

No thoughts, head empty, only soulmate

He will not respond until you’re done talking to yourself

And he commits whatever you say to memory

If you talk about a certain food, he is IMMEDIATELY in the kitchen either A) Learning the recipe for it, or B) Making sure he can still cook it

I can, nearly guarantee, that this man will invite you to his home for breakfast/lunch/dinner when you meet, and cook literally everything you’ve ever mentioned

And continue to cook for you after that

Like, he goes from “I wish to eliminate my birth father” to “The way of the house husband, Okumura style”

When you both meet, he pounces on you

No, I mean literally

He leaps on top of you

No hesitation

As soon as he hears your voice

It’s a immediate cuddle session on the floor

Or if you manage to stay upright, he’s clinging to you like a koala

No, you can’t escape or avoid

And if you DO stay upright, he will continue to lunge at you every time he is within jumping distance

Sakura Haruno

Yes, she may be seen as annoying or useless, but I like her, so I’m going to self indulge, and you can’t stop me

That doesn’t mean I'm gonna sugar coat this though

THIS GIRL GOES THROUGH ALL FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF IN THREE HOURS, AND MOST OF IT IS CRYING

She has spent who knows how long pursuing a toxic, probably Naruto-sexual, duck lookin emo DISASTER only to find out he’s NOT her soulmate?

“I went on this diet, and for what? Nothing”

“I bet it’s wrong, it has to be, right? Sasuke can’t NOT be my soulmate, RIGHT!?”

Yeah, she’s in a sad/denial state for about a week after that

And even after, she’s still salty

It’s not until Sasuke leaves, telling Sakura to go pursue HER soulmate instead of some stupid skin deep crush that she really begins to get OVER him and get INTO you

Except you’ve had enough of her Sasuke BS, so she not only needs to let go of her long time crush, but also make it up to her soulmate

The first time she says something about getting over Sasuke and wanting to be with her soulmate, you laugh, and she hears because you DON’T want to talk to her

“Does she really think one sentence is going to fix years of heartbreak?”

Now, when you put it like that, she cringes, and realizes that there's a lot of damage she caused

Honestly, when you two meet, you don’t recognize each other immediately, due to the fact that you don’t speak to her often or care to remember her voice

You probably found her with her head in her hands, probably eating away her woes at Ichirakus

You slide in, very smoothly, might I add, and ask what’s wrong while ordering yourself a bowl

She tells you the surface, that a friend ran from the village, which is true, but not what she’s sad about

You give her advice, chit chat a bit longer, getting to know each other, before paying for both her and your bowl and heading off

Never gave any names, just friendly conversation

You run into each other more frequently, growing closer with each talk, finally knowing each others names

Never mentioning meeting each other when talking to yourselves though

Eventually, using your advice when Sakura mentioned her soulmate was mad at her, you grew to forgive your soulmate

The two of you got such Deja Vu because of it too, since you were talking to each other and listening to the other ramble to themselves

Till one day, one of you mention the others name

And the other is like, “Oh my gosh [Y/N or Sakura] is my soulmate”

And then you both know

And the next time you see each other it’s a bit awkward, until Sakura says “So uh, I used your advice”

And you burst out laughing, conversation flowing as it would from there

You do hold a vendetta against Sasuke though, and after getting to know Sakura, it just gets 10 times worse

Like you’re ready to knock his teeth in if you ever see him

The pure, unadulterated rage you hold for him grows with every hate crime against Sakura he makes

Like, she tries to help him, now platonically, and he tries to kill her

There is no end to your rage

Everyone knows not to mention his name around you now

White boy better run and run fast if y’all ever meet

Yes, I do simp for pink haired characters, what are you gonna do about it?

If you’d like to see more headcanons, be that for this AU, or something else, feel free to submit an ask or comment! I hope you enjoyed these little headcanons!

[antchurch]

Hey can you please rec me your fave avatar fanfics?

i would be Honoured to

this is going to be a heavily zukka themed list as they recently became my top tagged ship on ao3 (im there @ jiminie if u want to see any more of my bookmarks) but i will endeavour to be more inclusive don't u worry !! these are all mostly pg - if there is sex it isn't the focus, mainly cause id feel weird rec’ing smut to a potential minor and also cause i don't need the judgement of my taste in porn but if u do want an 18+ rec lmk  the art of burning - zukka (eventually), canon divergence, ongoing - this might be one of my favourite fics ever, its a hadoka+ the watertribe come across zuko fic and i cannot recommend it enough have done some quality crying 2 this one xo what is living is burning - zukka, canon divergence, complete - BRO the canon divergence on this bad boy? so good - it had such a Mood, the tone is exquisite - - i cant say much without spoilers but trust me it goes Hard blue - zukka, canon divergence, complete - i may as well be recommending the bible here but i mean it when i say this has some of the best zuko character exploration that i’ve ever experienced it deserves all the love it gets!! the spirit stone - zukka, canon divergence, ongoing - zuko imprisoned by the fire nation? very cool ideas going on here, can’t wait to see where it goes!!! what you’re meant for - zukka, post-canon, complete - ambassador sokka saved the world! jk but like this is a really interestingly written fic, i love the epistolary style and its really satisfying to see a political system become unfucked. i wish i could be more articulate cause this fic rlly deserves that but im clow n

more below the cut cause it got long ;)

boy problems - zukka, post-canon, complete - this boy can fit so much angst in him!! this also has some excellent mailee content s/o to my lesbians xoxo swords of fate, pride of heart - zukka, alternate universe complete - zukka zoom uni au! did this fic hit entirely too hard for me as a uni student on zoom? why yes. do i also want to fall in love with a boy over zoom because of swords? also yes say you like your shirt soggy - zukka, alternate universe, complete - this is just good vibes aman falling in love n doing dishes its all we want - excellent hakoda content here !! very good if u desire better parental figures!! Flow Like Fire - canon divergence, ongoing - zuko is an airbender au that slaPs - also our first none zukka one look at me having range! but very very good its so clever in how zuko figures shit out i really enjoy the world building on this one blue's clues - zukka, alternate universe, complete - modern au where the blue spirit is a vigilante - its so fun to read and has sexy spiderman vibes big love 2 this one tell me a story - zukka, post-canon, complete - this will rip ur heart out!! izumi likes being read stories! tw major character death xox goodbye to fathers - canon compliant, complete - hakoda and zuko have a talk and ozai just sucks - good hakoda dad vibes and adults being responsible love it lighthouse beam - zukka, alternate universe, complete - uni au again!! very cute and disabled zuko rep!! love 2 see it  - so much pining my dude when the sun sets, and the moon follows - zukka, post canon, complete - this is an elderly gaang fic, so if ur constantly thinking abt grief like i am this is Right up ur street - tw major character death but so worth it.  Baby Hotline, please hold (me close to you) - zukka, alternate universe, complete - this shit is hilarious boys, fbi agent zuko and engineer sokka its a great time  Mass Times Acceleration - zukka, alternate universe, complete - this is a masterpiece, zukka roast trip au just very good painful feelings big fucking fan here man i would die 4 this fic survival will not be the hardest part - azula-centric, canon compliant, complete - beautiful azula character piece really rich and painful also lowkey sapphic Look How Far We've Come - zukka, alternate universe, complete - this whole series is insane!! daemons au!!! such good worldbuilding amazing character work fucking phenomenal man rain dance - aang-centric, canon compliant, complete - beautiful, beautiful aang piece about airbender culture and loss if u read any of these pls make it this one Intimate Counselors - zukka, post canon, complete - fucking hilarious zuko buys shit for sokka plot very good very fun honestly a joy 2 read might read it right now when im done with this list studying the blade - zukka, alternate universe, complete - social media au!! great gang dynamics n super fun!!!! kintsugi - toph+zuko bros 4 eva, canon divergence, complete? but only sorta cause the whole series isn't complete but its So good such a good reworking of the plot aaa it just goes hard man its the toph n zuko content u deserve spring comes to caldera - zukka, post canon, complete - ambassador sokka is back baybe and its so fucking good - great azula stuff here, really well developed pining, the full works figures 1-5: killing gods - zukka, canon divergence but only a lil, complete - a really lyrical and althetic exploration of zuko. feels like catharsis (do you take this jerk to be) your one and only - zukka, canon divergence, complete - hehehe proposal related hijinks love 2 see it yue is here n its great the art of charting the stars - zukka, post canon, complete - beautiful star gazing theme and gorgeous pining this is iconic i love it  speak ill - zukka, alternate universe, complete - sometimes u just need to call ozai a bastard. immaculate wow long list - sorry abt that!! but it really could have been easily twice as long aha

i hope i’ve managed to rec u something new and that u enjoy any of these and thank u so much for the ask~~~

[weasleypogues]

selfish (r.c.)

request: could you do an imagine where rafe has cheated on you at topper’s/kelce’s party and he justified it, when he was drunk or high, (when you caught him) as “I’m not sure if ever really loved you, I just knew you loved me and that fed my ego” x

sooooo, warning: this does not have a happy ending. i felt like there is no way someone can bounce back from this. but i really had fun writing it thought aha. 

masterlist.

the moment could not stop playing like a broken record in your mind. you saw her delicate hands run through his messy, gel-ed hair. she had her left leg wrapped around his waist as he had her pinned against the wall in some random room in topper’s house. you watched as his hand slid from her ass to fully support her leg that rested on him. that should’ve been you. 

you couldn’t even explain what you felt at that moment. everything went in slow motion yet at super speed. you knew your mouth was slightly parted but you couldn’t tell if what left your mouth was a slight sob out of sadness or a chuckle out of angry disbelief. 

you should’ve realized that after shotgunning a couple of beers, taking shots, and doing three lines, that it wasn’t going to end well. but you weren’t one to stop him. you knew how he got when someone tried to control what he did in his life. but there was still that side of you that wanted to help him because you loved him with every cell in your body.

but even though all those cells would take a bullet for him, they all felt like they were crumbling away and that you wouldn’t care what happened to him in this moment. you could vividly remember his glazed over eyes and sloppy grin as he looked over at you when pulling away from the mystery girl.

“go fuck yourself, rafe.” you somehow muttered even though the lump in your throat felt like it wouldn’t even allow oxygen to pass through, let alone words. you saw his eyes and mouth fall slightly and wondered if that was his way of regret or if he really was just too fucked up to even know how wrong this was. 

tears streamed out of your eyes, blurring your vision through the party. no one even paid attention to you and your feelings as you fought through gross make-outs and loud games of beer pong or lines being snorted left and right. suddenly you came to a halt after running into someone.

“woah woah woah, (y/n). leaving so soon?” topper questioned while laughing. his face dropped when he saw your red, puffy eyes. “fuck....what’d he do?”

“more like ‘who did he almost do’? i saw his tongue shoved down some random girls throat.” you somehow choked out, before pushing past him and ripping your wrist out of topper’s grasp. you ran further and further from the party and the loud music became quieter and quieter. 

it was way past 1 am so you were sure your parents would be asleep. you made your way inside and made a b-line to your bedroom. you were positive that your tears had washed away all your makeup and if there was some remaining, you didn’t have the energy or motivation to take it off. you checked your phone one last time before plugging it in, praying that rafe had sent you dozens of texts and phone calls apologizing, but he hadn’t.

---

you woke up to your phone buzzing on your nighttable next to you. something as small as a phone call snapped you right back to the memory of what happened last night. and if it wasn’t for the phone call to remind you, it was the feeling of your puffy eyes and throbbing headache. you reached for it and saw topper’s name on the screen. you felt relief but also a tear in your heart. you wanted it to be rafe because you wanted him, for once, to take responsibility for his actions and realize how much he fucked up. but you were slightly relieved it was topper because you didn’t even know if you could forms thoughts let alone words if it was rafe’s contact name on your screen.

you pressed decline and placed it back on your night table before rubbing your eyes and sighing. you couldn’t do much but think. when you next spoke to rafe, did you want to express feelings that you were sad. that you were angry. confused. a mix? the more and more it crossed your mind, you still felt heartbroken but anger rose in you at the sheer fact that he thinks he can pull something like this. you bit the inside of you lip and basically ran to your bathroom to freshen up.

you were determined to march your way into rafe’s house, whether you were invited in or not. you were going to give him a piece of your mind. you were going to explain how he fucked up so badly and that he doesn’t deserve you. you were definitely going to do all of this if it wasn’t for the fear that once you saw his rosy cheeks, blue eyes, and messy morning hair, you would break down and be at a loss for words. 

after getting on your shoes, grabbing your phone and keys, you sped to his house. this drive was one of those car rides where speed limits felt like a suggestion, there wasn’t any music playing, and to be honest you couldn’t remember if the traffic light back there was even green. 

you could see in the rear view mirror that your speed was throwing the sand and dirt from his drive way into the air and you came to a sudden halt. locking your car, you opened his front door without hesitation. marching towards his room, you swung open his door and saw him sound asleep, without a shirt on. 

at this point, you were fuming. you knew if you didn’t take the road where you were threatening, he wouldn’t be so intimidating and maybe you’d get your point across for once. but then again, you ran your eyes over his body. how he lied on his back and his right arm rested to out to the empty spot that you usually took. when you would wake up earlier than him, you would admire the fact that his lips were slightly parted, and you could hear him breathing a little heavier. his chest rose up and down slowly. or the way that for some reason, all guys twitched in their sleep? you would always have to hold back your giggle when that happened.

you bit the inside of your lip, now or never. you placed your keys loudly on his dresser, in hopes of waking him up. your heart was racing at the speed of light, afraid of how this would turn out. you watched rafe’s eyes fluttered open and his eyebrows furrowed together at the change of light from his deep sleep to his brightly lit room. he stretched and looked over, noticing you. it seemed in that moment that all memories came flooding back to him.

“fuck.” he muttered in a husky morning voice. usually that voice would practically make you swoon but not today. 

“fuck is right. care to fucking explain? because nothing whatsoever is crossing my mind at the fact that you can just easily throw what we have away.” you choked out, startled by your new found confidence to confront rafe. 

“i was so far gone, (y/n). i barely remember it.” rafe tried to defend himself, sitting at the edge of his bed and sluggishly running a hand through his hair.

“i could not give two shits if you were gone or sober. it happened either way, rafe. did you not think it fucking hurt me to see your hands all over some other girl?” you responded, tears brimming your eyes at the rememberance of it but you quickly brushed them away before they could fall. 

“it happened, okay? there’s nothing i can do about it. i’m sorry that it did. it was fucked up.” he answered, but you could tell by his posture that it was not sincere whatsoever. you shook your head, slightly biting the inside of your lips. deep down you prayed that he would feel remorse and practically be begging on his knees for your forgiveness. but this hurt so much fucking more.

“i loved you, rafe. i changed so much of myself for this relationship. even if you weren’t out partying or getting high, i still loved you for you. you told me you loved me, but if you actually loved me you wouldn’t want to hurt me like this.” you stated, finally letting the tear fall out at slight defeat. “what about all the times we would hang out at the beach. lay on your boat until 6 am talking about complete nonsense. we baked cookies for the sweet old lady down the block, for fucks sake. you were my first time, rafe. doesn’t that mean something?”

“(y/n), fuck. look.........i’m not really sure i ever loved you. i just knew you loved me. that fed my ego.” rafe responded. he was brutally honest and usually you admired that side of him because you sugar coated things, but this time you wished he had followed your lead for once. 

that same lump from last night formed in your throat and you felt your chest fall suddenly in shock. “burn in hell, rafe.” you spat out before making your way out of his room. 

“(y/n), wait. it-it’s not like that.” rafe tried to call out but in your mind, it was too late. you hopped in your car and sped away so fast you were sure his white house was covered in the sand and dirt from his driveway. 

there was no going back from this.

[unholy-renee]

Hey guys here’s a draft I forgot I had started a while ago. So here’s my uhm first opinions on Outlast 2! Btw spoilers for anyone who hasn’t played also I’m annoying so I somewhat suggest not reading this all unless you want really wanna sorry :(

:

So I’m stuck at this one point in Whistleblower so I decided to check out the very beginning of Outlast 2 (story mode), so far:

I both love and hate that we get to hear Blake’s voice! I would’ve preferred if they stuck with the silent main character that we’ve had so far, but I also already feel connected to Blake having heard his voice. Sadly, he doesn’t say much, why add lines at all if there’s only screaming, swearing and “I need to find Lynn” or other Lynn related lines. He can say stuff other than “what the fuck?” And “holy shit”, you realize that right? Maybe he could’ve been trying to hype himself up more or you could’ve put more in about his life and family like him saying stuff about missing them and hoping to see them again (like Waylon). I hope as I progress stuff gets better with the script.

Him grabbing Lynn to save her from falling out of the chopper 🥺 go Blake go!

Those guys walking backwards while mumbling and not taking their eyes off me? Not scary but unsettling and made me stop playing the game! It made the atmosphere go from almost a worried “omg we gotta find this guys wife” to a scared “screw that lady I gotta get outta here” vibe

The controls??? Uhm no don’t give me two games worth of the same control then switch some buttons up on me. I was crouching Trying to look around and I didn’t even realize I was crouching I thought he genuinely like hurt his leg or something 🙄. Although I am happy we have some new mechanics! Smashing square (PlayStation) to get the door of the chopper off is very reminiscent of moving the thumbstick back-and-forth to get out of the chair of the Dr. Trager puts you in, in the first game.

The fact that it’s like recording without me having to press a button to make it is cool, happy it’s automatic but it doesn’t tell you where to point the camera, so sometimes I’m moving the camera around the whole area trying to figure out if I need to record anything, missed a couple recording because of it. :(

I’m not playing anymore till I finish Whistleblower though.

:

Now that I’ve played more of the game I have almost the same opinion! Rip :(

1. His lines didn’t get better! I still haven’t finished though so again we still have hope and I’m purposely not watching anyone play the game past where I’m at so I don’t get spoilers. The complaint about the overuse of Lynn related lines has now double because they have Jessica now! Let’s only ever talk about these two women who are dead and currently kidnapped. It’s not like there are most likely a million other people you’d be thinking about to in this situation. Parents, Siblings, grandparents, cousins, aunts/uncles? Lol no. I’m probably being nit picky but whatever. I’d have liked hearing more about other aspects of his life than just his wife and one past trauma. Now I understand that both of these women are main plot points in the game and it makes sense that he’d focus on them but like there are a lot of other things people also think about in these situations. Like lots of people think about their family and how their going to deal with their death or whatever is happening to them. Or long lost friends they haven’t seen in years and thinking about them maybe never finding out about their death.

Sorry okay I’m done with that now please ignore my annoying ass.

2. Mechanics! Alright so then chasing you under the houses and shit? 😳. I like it :) it’s adventurous since the characters in the first two games couldn’t do anything even close to that, but I’m happy they decided to include it, it really feels like a mature step for the Outlast series and it wasn’t too out of left field that it didn’t fit. Warm welcome to these new antagonist moves!

3. Recording makes me even more mad now then before. JUST UGH tell me what to record! Am I the only one who is too stupid for this or something? “Record mutilated corpses” boom that easy! “Record Marta talking” aha bam! Again me being annoying!

4. Uhm I love Marta! She is the Chris of 2 in my opinion and some of my fellow Outlast playing friends. So far she just chases you saying religious stuff though which is kinda annoying because I’ve heard that she doesn’t like commuting the murders and is only doing it because she is close with Knoth? If that’s true I would like to hear about her doubting herself and doubting what Knoth is having her do, then maybe “snapping back” into going along with it because she trusts him. Not sure if that mad sense.

5. Nick and Laird needed more time. I loved them as antagonists and they were some of my favorite to “go up against”, I wish they had more game time and backstory but that’s okay.

6. Related to 4 and 5, there are too many characters in my opinion. No one really equal game time or backstory to me, although the length of the game is growing on me and the more I play the more the game proves itself to me as a somewhat acceptable “Outlast 2”!

As I slowly continue to finish the game I’ll probably keep making posts on it. Idk though

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #414

“mirror, mirror, tell me who you see  /  am i you or me?  /  i can never remember”

How many people have you kissed? Four. Ever kissed someone you weren’t dating at the time? No. Of the people you’ve kissed, how many do you regret kissing? Two. Ever been kissed by a legal adult when you were a minor (or vise-versa)? Yeah, with Jason, but it was only a two-year difference. Ever kissed someone on a dare/as part of a game? No. Where’s the most public place you’ve ever made out with someone? Nowhere public. I wouldn't do that. Can you snowboard? Never tried. Have you ever made a mixed cd for someone? No. Do you use recycle bins at your house? Yes. Do you own more than one bathing suit? No. Have you ever kissed someone who smokes weed? Jason did occasionally with his best friend, but he stopped for me. How are you right this second? I'm all right. Last night was pretty rough, so I'm just glad that's over. My body is just tired. Is there anything you disliked about your last birthday? Honestly, I barely remember what I did on my last birthday. I just remember it was fine. Oh wait, actually, on the way home from going out to eat, we had to call the cops while behind a car whose driver was obviously drunk or high OFF. HIS. ASS. He was swerving like crazy and almost hit SO many cars. I was having an absolute panic attack. I pray to God that guy was more than just found and fined. Do you keep a diary or journal (offline or online)? No, unless you count surveys, I guess. What were you like a year ago? I was the unhappily the same. Is someone on your mind right now? Fucking always. Having a warm dream about him last night didn't help. Who was the last person you sat next to? My mom. What do you currently hear right now? My screen is split so I can watch John Wolfe play some indie horror games. What’s something you need to go shopping for? I need to get new bras baaaadly because I'm tired of none fitting properly. What’s the last thing you ate? I had a donut 'cuz Mom stopped at Dunkin' for coffee. Do/did you do good in school? I did up to college. Then I just... sucked. Do you always get along with your siblings? I mean I don't see/talk to them every day or anything, not even very regularly even, but we generally get along fine now as adults. We disagree about shit for sure, but keep our mouths shut. Or probably talk to Mom about it while I'm not present. I don't even think they like me half of the time. Are you frustrated with anything? So much. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? There were/are a lot of factors. Just she as a person is phenomenal. What’s your younger sibling’s name? Nicole. Can you speak in a different language conversationally; if so, which language? A tiny bit of German. Do you ever fear of falling asleep? With my nightmares, I used to dread it. Now, thankfully, my APAP mask has prevented them from happening, mostly; I've only had two in the month that I've had it, and I ordinarily had them every single night. Do you have an idea of what kind of profession you’d like to have? I do, but I honestly doubt I'm going to succeed in even making it a part-time job by this damn point. Which beach would you say is your favorite? I don't have a favorite. I don't even like the beach very much. What kind of cookie is your favorite? Chocolate chip. Have you ever had a churro? Yes. Too crunchy and ridiculously sweet, not a fan. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? A good personality beats good looks any day. How is/was your chemistry class in high school? I actually didn't take chemistry; my graduating year, physical science was offered as the alternative, which I took. How does alcohol affect you? I get hot, and my face flushes badly. It'll make me more talkative. Have you ever tried lemon brownies? No, and I don't want to. I don't like lemon-flavored stuff like that. What was the last type of meat you ate? Beef. Have you taken any medication today? I have prescriptions I take every day. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? I've seen some of it at Sara's house. What is your favourite kind of pasta? Just spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs, really. I've been on a major chicken pesto kick lately, though. Have you set an alarm today? No. Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names: Literally just the chance to say "I'm sorry" would be fucking amazing. Just two fucking words. What if there were two of you? Would the world be in trouble? No. That'd be a waste of space, though. Not like I'm contributing much to society. Would you prefer an ice cream sundae or an ice cream cone? I dunno man, it depends on my mood and what I want in the moment. Do you watch movies with the subtitles on? No; I find it to be distracting. Is the last person you kissed yours? I hate this saying. She's her own person that belongs to nobody but herself. But to just go along with it and answer the question, no, we're not together. Do you think you will be married by the time you are 25? Welp, I'm halfway through 25, so. Do you have siblings over the age of 21? All of my siblings are. Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong? No. Especially as I've aged, I'd say I'm pretty quick to accept if I've fucked up. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? Jason will probably always have that power, even if he's not in my life. Would you ever be a stripper? God no, nobody wants to see that. What are your plans for tomorrow? Just get through the day, man. Do you owe anybody money? No. How would your parents describe you? Reserved, shy, a deep thinker, animal lover, uhhhh... What is the most you have ever weighed? Let's not. Would you ever work at McDonald's? No. I'm never working in food service. If you aren't already, would you go vegetarian or vegan? I want to be a vegetarian and being a vegan would be perfectly ideal for me, but I really don't think I can healthily accomplish either. I am FAR too picky to where I'd almost definitely become malnourished. To make it even worse I absolutely cannot "suck it up" if I don't like a food, so it's not like I could choke down stuff I don't like. Not to mention I'd be pretty sad without any yummy food to look forward to, aha. Coolest person you've ever met? Uhhhh I don't know. Do you wear boxers? No. Girls, how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon? I don't remember. Would you ever attend a gay pride parade or festival? I would absolutely love to. Did you see Paranormal Activity 2? I think I've seen all of the movies. I liked them, given paranormal horror films are probably my fave. What would you do if an old man grabbed your ass? Kick him in the fucking balls so goddamn fast and probably slap him across the face at the same time. Probably cry later from feeling violated and having my fear of men aggravated. Do you like moustaches? It depends on the person, but I'd say I generally prefer an attached beard and a mustache versus JUST a mustache. Could you hack into someone's computer if you tried hard enough? No. I have no idea how to do that. Have you ever smoked a cigar? No. Do you go out on Black Friday? Hell no. NOT worth fighting people for deals. Do you have curtains in your bedroom? No; I have those blinds that you can close upwards or downwards. Did you like the Spice Girls when you were little? Yeah, I did. Can you sing the entire Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song? I think I can. Do you get heartburn? I'm literally on an antacid prescription, or else I get insane heartburn every day. Are you scared of elevators? To a moderate degree, yes. I'm terrified of it getting stuck. Have you ever seen a dead body in person? Yes, at an open-casket wake. Have you ever seen The Goonies? I have. If you're white, do you ever wish you were black? Or vice versa? I'm fine being Caucasian, but ultimately don't care. Do you bake cookies all the time around Christmas? I don't bake. Do you like your hair pulled? Uhhh... I'm assuming you mean this in a suggestive context, in which case no. Never pull my hair, actually. What kind of jeans do you like? Ripped skinny jeans. What do you think is overrated? Who really cares. Let people enjoy what they enjoy. And what are your goals for the remainder of this year? Lose lots of weight, find a job, get back into old hobbies and develop new ones... Name a city that starts with A in your state/province etc. Asheboro. Name a landmark that starts with M in your state/province etc. I'm blanking right now. When was the last time you gave a horse a carrot? Been years. I think I've only done that once, and I can't even remember where it was. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. How many seasons is your favorite TV show in so far? MM was just revived for its fifth season! :') Where would you most like to go in your state, etc. that you haven’t been? NC actually has this really old Wizard of Oz theme park! It's on the other end of the state, though, and NC is one wiiiiiide state. What was the last bird you saw? A robin, I think. What color was the last thing you drank? Green. Has a wild animal ever been loose in your house? Besides insects, no. Well wait, scratch that, once or twice we had a small mice problem when we lived in the woods. What’s the name of the bookstores in your city? The only one I know off the top of my head is Books-a-Million. Where do your parents live? I live with my mom, and Dad lives in the same city as us. Have you ever seen or touched an iceberg? No, but that would be cool. What colour are your father’s eyes? Brown. If your ex turned up on your doorstep now, with nowhere else to go, would you let him/her stay? Well one, this isn't my house, so I can't make that decision. My mom being who she is though, she'd let pretty much anyone stay the night. If it was Sara, Mom would let her stay as long as she needed. The last time you cried, was it connected with someone of the opposite sex? Ugh, yes. My PTSD was BAD last night. Delicious warm brownies or a giant cookie? I'll take the brownie. Have you visited a haunted building or area before? No, but damn I'd love to. Have you been to North Carolina? Ayyyyeeeee that's my home.

[asexual-hugger]

Allison McQueen arrives on her parents’ front porch with her boss, Detective Ernest Sinclaire, in tow. Before the trip, Sinclaire had asked Allison what he was supposed to bring with him.

“Something lightweight and your own sweet self,” she had responded. “It’s a farm, so you won’t want to wear anything heavy. It can get hot out in the fields.”

“Am I expected to do any physical labor?” he’d asked. “Not that I wouldn’t be open to it, but I thought your mom wanted your help.”

“Don’t worry; she’s going to get it,” Allison had said. “When I mentioned getting hot out in the fields, I meant being outside. Our porch is fairly big, and we have some VERY comfortable lounge chairs set out on it. You and Kade are here to relax, and I’m here to be the farm girl I was raised as. If anything confuses you while I’m working, you can always ask Kade.”

Now the two of them stand on the large porch Allison had described, and Sinclaire’s eyes keep roving over the chairs and table with awe.

Not long after Allison rings the doorbell that the door opens, and the face of Lady Eleanor McQueen pokes through the crack.

“Allison! You came!” She swings the door open and wraps her only daughter in a huge hug.

“Yeah. I came. Hello, Mom.” Allison squirms slightly in her mother’s strong grip, forcing out the words.

“I didn’t think after our phone conversation the other day that you would make it.” Lady Eleanor releases her and Allison steps back, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear and looking flushed as she meets Detective Sinclaire’s gaze.

“Please. What kind of daughter would I be otherwise?” Allison asks. “Yes, I made it, and I, er, brought someone.” She nods behind her.

“Oh!” Lady Eleanor appears to notice the newcomer for the first time, and she lets out a low gasp. “Forgive me; I didn’t see you there!”

“No worries, Lady McQueen.” Sinclaire boldly steps forward and manages a proper bow. “Detective Ernest Sinclaire, Private Investigator. I’m your daughter’s employer at work.”

He holds out his hand to her, and when she takes it, he turns it over and kisses it in his gentlemanly fashion.

“Oh!” Lady Eleanor says again, only this time it’s almost girlish. “Why, aren’t you becoming! It is such a pleasure to meet you, Detective. I feel as if I know you already by the way Allison gushes about you all the time. I didn’t think you would be so young, let alone dashing! Come in, please, both of you!”

She holds the door open while the two of them pick up their suitcases.

“I’m very sorry to come by unannounced into your home, Lady McQueen,” Sinclaire says, his face flushing. “Allison invited me, and I couldn’t turn her down. I do hope it’s all right if I’m here.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Detective; of course it’s all right!” Lady Eleanor waves a hand at him dismissively. “I trust you have been taking very good care of my daughter. Any friend of hers is more than welcome into this household.” She nods over his shoulder at Allison, mouthing, ‘he’s CUTE!’

“I appreciate that.” Sinclaire hesitates and looks back at Allison as if waiting for her cue.

“Go ahead,” Allison urges. “I’ll catch up.”

“So Allison has been ‘gushing’ about me, has she?” Sinclaire looks at Lady Eleanor, and then back at Allison, with amusement. Allison looks at the ground, face hot and unable to meet their gazes.

“Oh, most definitely,” Lady Eleanor tells him, grinning slyly. “She sings your praises all the time. Until today, I never would’ve imagined such a handsome fellow. Her description of you certainly did not lie. Are you absolutely certain you are her employer? Because you don’t look a day older than she.”

“I can assure you, Lady McQueen, I am most definitely her employer,” Sinclaire explains. “And I do wish to hear more about what she has told you regarding myself. I hope she has said encouraging things?”

“Nothing but encouraging,” Lady Eleanor answers. “Every time we talk she raves about her job and how much she’s enjoying it. I take it you are keeping her busy?”

“As much as I can,” Sinclaire replies. “Allow me to state that she is the best assistant I’ve ever hired. You raised a good one, Lady McQueen. She’s dependable, reliable, punctual, and has an excellent attitude. Yes, we may not be all that far apart in age, but I built my detective agency from the ground up all on my own, and until Allison entered the picture, there wasn’t much joy in the business. Your daughter has that presence that fills a whole room with light.”

“I am thrilled to hear you say that, Detective,” Lady Eleanor beams. “Our Allison has always been the light in the darkness. After having two older boys, I begged for a girl, and somehow, after she was born, I just KNEW. I knew she was something special. She brought joy everywhere she went.”

“I have to agree with you on all accounts, Lady McQueen.” Sinclaire tosses glances at Allison as he speaks. “Thank you for being so accommodating.”

Allison grips her suitcase tightly and walks through the door, and he follows soon after. Lady Eleanor calls out into the living room the instant they’re inside.

“Sebastian! Kade! Guess who just arrived!” Her tinkling voice echoes through the house.

“Hey hey hey!” Allison’s father, Lord Sebastian, enters the room carrying a glass of wine. “Is that our little lady?”

“Hi, Dad.” Allison lets him place a fatherly peck on the cheek before he turns and spots her guest.

“Oh, hello. Allison didn’t say she was bringing company.” He seems to be examining Sinclaire from head to toe.

“Er, I’m very sorry, sir,” Sinclaire apologizes, his gentlemanly manners always making him even more adorable. He stammers at the sight of the large man. “Your daughter invited me to stay here while she helped you with the farm work. I hope you don’t mind. I’ll stay out of the way as much as possible. My name is Ernest Sinclaire. I’m a private investigator with Ledford Park Detective Agency. Allison is currently my assistant, and...”

“AHA!” Lord Sebastian utters the word so loudly that both Allison and Sinclaire jump. “So YOU are the famous Detective Sinclaire that my Allison can’t stop raving about! I should have known the second you set foot into this room!” He grins widely and holds out a beefy hand for the private eye to shake. “Welcome to House McQueen, my ever-loving detective friend!”

“Oh, er, yes, I’m that Detective Sinclaire.” Sinclaire shakes his hand. “As I was telling your wife just now, Allison is the best assistant I’ve ever had. She works hard and makes sure everything is done thoroughly...”

“Say no more!” Lord Sebastian downs the wine and thumps the glass on the coffee table. “I am Lord Sebastian McQueen, Allison’s father, and you’ve clearly already met my wife, her mother, Lady Eleanor McQueen. I am very sure my girl is working hard and well at her job. As the man of the house, I say: make yourself at home.”

“Thank you, Lord McQueen.” Sinclaire places his suitcase in the hall out of the way and seems to look less intimidated by Lord Sebastian’s large form.

Good god, he thinks. Allison’s father is a mountain man!

Allison certainly did not get her delicate, waif-like ballet dancer’s body from him. “Mum, where’s Kade?” Allison’s voice lifts Sinclaire from his thoughts.

“Oh, yes.” Lady Eleanor leads her to the family room, where the Hide-A-Bed is set out. “He’s in here. Come say hello.”

“Come on, Detective,” Allison urges, taking Sinclaire’s hand. “Come meet my brother.”

“Big sister!” The boy on the bed gives a joyful yelp when he sees Allison. He’s lying on the hideaway bed surrounded by blankets and pillows, and his foot is wrapped in a heavy cast.

“Hey, Kadeo.” Allison leans down and very gently wraps him in a hug. “Looks like you really took the spill this time, buddy.” She eyes his cast and cringes slightly. “That looks a lot worse than Mum described it.”

Kade McQueen shrugs. “It’s no different than last time,” he says indifferently. “Last time it was the stool in the stable. That was super freaky.” His eyes travel over her shoulder and his face brightens. “Oh, hey there! I’m Kade, Allison’s brother. Allison didn’t tell me she was seeing anyone!”

“Actually, this is my boss,” Allison corrects him quickly.

“Hello, Kade.” Detective Sinclaire approaches and smiles at the boy. “I’m Detective Ernest Sinclaire. I’m a private investigator currently working with your sister as my assistant. How’s the foot? Allison told me you fractured it?”

“Yeah, jacking up the plow,” Kade tells him. “It’s no big deal, really. I’ve had a lot worse than this. My family calls me Kade the Klutz. Which, of course, fits me to a T.” He grins widely at Sinclaire before giving him a good long look. “Are you absolutely CERTAIN you are my sister’s boss? Cause you look kinda young, almost like you could be her boyfriend.” He turns to Allison. “Don’t deny that you wanna eat him alive with your eyes right now. You look like you could rip each other’s clothes off any second.”

“KADE!” Allison gapes at her brother, horrified.

“What? I’m not judging!” Kade insists. “You two make a cute couple. If I had any say in this relationship, I’d vote Boyfriend-Girlfriend over Boss-Employee any day. The Titanic of Love has just set sail from the Southampton docks. Woo woo!” He makes a boat whistle noise and pumps his fist.

“Ughhhhh.” Allison covers her madly-flushing face with her hands and groans. “I am so sorry about that, Detective! He must be on some new medicine or something. There’s no way he would act like that if he weren’t high.”

“There’s no apology needed,” Sinclaire assures her. “I actually think it’s kind of cute. Your little brother apparently supports my being here just as much as the rest of your family. I’ve never felt more welcome or loved by anyone before. Do you think we make a cute couple, Miss McQueen?”

“Yes, of course I do,” Allison answers. “But you’re my boss. You even said it yourself. That kind of relationship is forbidden. Business first, personal second. I know you told me you didn’t have a girlfriend.”

“I don’t,” Sinclaire says. “Not at the moment, anyway, but that’s only because I haven’t found the right person yet. It’s not because I’m not ready to start dating. However, I do know the right person is out there, and she’s much closer than I ever would’ve imagined.”

He sneaks a glance at Kade over Allison’s shoulder, and when he’s sure Kade is watching, he winks at him.

“Titanic of Love, baby!” Kade swoons. “Titanic of LOVE!”

“Yeah, yeah, buddy, we all know how much I love the Titanic,” Allison says matter-of-factly.

[recordmcqueen]

👉👈 Every ship ask for the boboiboy fandom? please? thank you //sad cape whoosh

aha now we’re talkin

1. What was your first OTP? boifang- my sister had only about a thousand screenshots of them before she finally managed to drag me in so its not like i had a choice--

2. What is your current OTP? answered this already

3. Do you have any OT3/OT+ ships? What are your favorites? hmm the only ones i have rn are goboifang and manramen x kaizo x pirate soldier guy. oh but like lowkey ayu yu x kiki ta x ejo jo dont question me okay-

4. What is/are your favorite trope(s)? idk if its a trope but like i want some brotp in my otp yknow and monsta does that right i just hhh bless. but also like the whole yin-yang thing going on with fang and bbb is just ahhh im weak

5. What is/are your least favorite trope(s)? hmmm in the fandom its mostly the hetshipping like i have no hate on any ships but a lot of times it does feel like theyre shipping for the sake of straight than dynamic which is really. unfortunate.

6. Do you have a certain kind of ship you’re more attracted to? bros being homies okay im so weak for the idiot memelords who all share one singular braincell its wonderful.

7. Are most of your ships “pure” or “problematic”? uhh i think as far as this fandom goes none of my ships are actively being bashed on and theyve all got pretty wholesome dynamics sooo nah? but then like i go and angst them all up so idk if that makes them problematic lol--

8. Who is the most shippable person you can think of? ...fang. probably because i think about him the most and also cause he got one of the best character development arcs and that just gives him a really solid dynamic with other characters //now im just making excuses hes my favorite okay

9. Are there any fandoms you don’t have any ships for? kind of? im kinda neutral on ships like i dont Need them (esp not in canon i actually prefer canon to be shipless bLESS MONSTA) and i don’t bash on any for the most part i can See all ships. but i dont necessarily actively Ship ships all the time yknow? so ig the answer is no...

10. Do characters have to have canon interactions for you to ship them? lmao nope (see kiki ta x ayu yu and probs a dozen other ships that dont come to mind at the moment)

11. What makes a great ship in your own opinion? uhhh dynamic??

12. What drives you away from a ship? lack of dynamic-- shipping for aesthetic is nice but i just appreciate the good art without really connecting to the ship itself yknow

13. Is there anything you ship but refuse to interact with the community for? mm yes. idk i feel like the fanbase is polarized between “soft pure bean with no or few ships” and “thirsty simps 18+ only” and both categories scare me too much to chat ships with lol

14. Has a fanbase ever made you ship or not ship something? Why? yES but not the bbb fanbase thankfully cantsaythesameforthelastfandomuhm

15. Do you like/participate in ship wars? Why or why not? already answered this one

16. Are there any ships you just can’t/don’t understand? What are they? boya. also saifang, come to think of it (the latter is significantly less popular). in both cases i consider them as a familial bond and cant really see them any other way? like i see bbb and yaya as mlm wlw solidarity and sai as an older brother to fang more than anything else so yknow hshsh

17. Are there any popular ships that you just don’t like? What are they? i mean the collective fandom otp is boicest so yknow. not my jam uwu

18. What is your favorite unpopular ship? bruh my otp is unpopular ToT

19. Do you prefer fluff, angst, or smut for your ships? angstangstangst *cough* ill take a nice order of fluff please and thank you kindly uwu

20. Do you prefer bigger fanbases or smaller ones? big fanbase have more content and its easier to find ppl to talk about rarepairs with. small fandom already have so few people its near impossible to find anyone to talk about your toiny ship with and even harder to find fellow fans irl. big fandoms have more potential toxicity tho--

21. Have you ever received hate for a ship you liked? lmao yeah but not for this fandom //probs cause i rarely talk about bbb ships in public anyway lol

22. Do you have any ships that you ship, but would never want to see as canon? all of them. i praise monsta every day for making their content 100% gen and i would never want it any other way bLESS

23. Have you ever had a ship become canon, but you didn’t like how it was portrayed? not in bbb for obvious reasons lol but in another fandom i Guess? idk how canon is “canon”

24. What is your favorite canon ship? *sweats intensely* captain kaizo’s dragonfly ship looks badass wish they kept it instead of the new round thingy he has that looks like it could impale someone- okay but papa zola and mama zila are heckin wholesome i love them and im so glad pipi has good loving parents

25. What are your favorite ships from a dead fandom? i dont think any of my current fandoms are Dead per se..

26. What are your favorite shipping scenes? “the captain praised me, what of it?” “open the door to my heart!” but also mONSTA WHY WOULD YOU DELETE BBB INVITING FANG TO STAY OVER AT HIS HOUSE FROM BBBM2 OTL //at least it meant we got it released internationally early so i could enjoy that much from canada

27. What are your views on reader x canon ships? already answered

28. What is your best shipping advice? whats with all the ship hatin ToT even if yall heathens cant understand multishipping, surely “mind your own damn business” and “live and let live” are easy enough pills to swallow??

29. Do you like OCs (Original Characters)? already answered

30. What are some of your favorite shipping blogs? are there bbb shipping blogs? i know theres the ramenzo one.. i dont think boifang has any active ones and my other ships are too rare to be considered lol yeah im pretty sure the only fandom shipping blogs (if any) would be boicest rip

[txtdiaries]

extra elongated tag game O.o

tagged by the main bitch @gohyuck​ thanku ray ily

tagging: @hi-mishamigos​ @sweetsoobinie​ and @bffsoobin​

O N E

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

ummm I’ll go with three groups: txt, nct, and ateez. for txt the song was crown I think! nct (dream) was boom (even tho I stanned long before it was released, boom locked me in) and for ateez it was HALA HALA.

—

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

to be a millionaire by like,,, 30.

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

My heart says miss more days of school but my brain says hang out with friends more.

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

I always carry headphones around even if I never use them when I go out, just incase.

favourite type of plushies and why?

the long, super plush kind that mold to your touch.

favourite song right now?

selfish by madison beer (not my FAV but I’ve been listening to it a lot lately).

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

how to not be so irritated at everyone all the time lmao.

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

IM A CLOWN idk if I have any funny stories per say??? my whole life is just kinda tragic. the first story that popped into my head: once in high school my best friend and I snuck out of an assembly and hid in the bathrooms because we hated our school and everyone else in it (+ couldn't leave campus cause we couldn’t drive yet), so we stayed there for the rest of the hour just playing music and hanging out in the handicap stall. not funny but shows the kinda person I was in hs lol.

headphones or speakers? why?

headphones most of the time but speakers when I’m in my room writing at like 2 a.m.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

at all times I am craving chicken alfredo

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

I use Spotify!

ten questions (by raya, answered)

1. favorite item of clothing?

I really like a lot of my long trench coat jackets I have! I think they’re rly classy and pull an outfit together.

2. if you had to smell like one scent for the rest of your life what would it be?

Lavender OR the oatmeal and shea butter body wash I use bc it smells lovely.

3. favorite painter? why?

I don’t really have one.

4. what’s your favorite horror movie (and if you don’t like horror, why not?)?

Silent Hill just bc it was the first ever like, FUCKED horror movie I ever watched without my parents.

5. iphone or android?

Iphone.

6. favorite tiktok trend (and if you don’t like tiktok, you can talk about how much influencers suck)?

I don’t have tik tok nor do I like it but I REALLY like the one trend where people play i’m just a kid by simple plan in the background and recreate their kid pictures (only bc I’m a nostalgia enthusiast lmao).

7. if you could wake up with any new ability what would it be?

I’d want the ability to time travel / teleport.

8. favorite superhero/supervillain/antihero?

Peter Parker / Spiderman has been my favorite since I was a kid (Tom Holland is v cute and amazing, but my personal fav is Andrew Garfield just bc his Peter was so SOFT and patient and dorky).

9. if you could only dress in one color for the rest of your life which color would it be?

black.

10. who’s your ult and give me five reasons why.

my ult is na jaemin (he’s the literal sun, his smile is beautiful, he’s fkn weird, he’s patient, and he’s kind).

ten questions of my own:

what is your favorite movie of all time?

describe your childhood in three words?

favorite holiday?

favorite vacation spot?

what do you think of the education system? are u a fellow slave to the gpa?

what is your hair color?

what talent do you wish you had?

what is your major + why (if you’re in hs, what do you plan on majoring in)?

do you like kids or do you merely tolerate them?

any pets?

—

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

—

FOUR

the ultimate tag: answer whichever ones you want to because there are a lot and then tag a few blogs you’d like to get to know better!

PERSONAL

name: n/a (lol)

nickname: lana

birthday: April 19 2000

zodiac: aries bitches we ride at dawn

nationality: american (gag)

languages: English, Spanish, some Korean, some French

gender: female

sexuality: idk man. straight? I guess?? (im romantically attracted to males + females but not sexually attracted to females) god. who fkn knows.

height: 5'3 ish

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: idk! music I guess. it gives me lots of inspo

meaning behind my url: I wanted to represent my blog with something really intimate and chronologically laid out, and also personal. txt for Tomorrow X Together and diaries bc diaries are where you tell your deepest secrets and for me personally the first time I ever wrote stories of my own was in my diary when I was young.

blog established: may / june ish of 2019

followers: 987

FAVORITES

favourite animals: dogs, elephants

favourite books: I have a LOT idk I love a lot of the classics

favourite colour: sea foam greenish blue / sea blue / dark coral

favourite fictional characters: theodore finch (atbp), olly bright (everything, everything), four (divergent)

favourite flower: lavender 

favourite scent: lavender, shea butter + oatmeal (I have a body wash that smells like that and oof), and uhhh the smell of fresh laundry???

favourite season: autumn, winter

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 10 on a good day, 6 on a normal day.

cats or dogs: dogs

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee

current time: 9:46

dream trip: London or SK

dream job: I’d love to work with idols / entertainers in the music industry. I’d also love to be a fashion editor / designer. 

hobbies: writing, reading

hogwarts house: slytherin

last movie watched: wicker park (funny story actually, the airport scene from wicker park influenced the final airport scene in six twenty-four, aha)

last song listened to: the scientist by coldplay

no. of blankets you sleep with: one duvet and one fluffy blanket over the top of that

random fact(s): uhhh I make up the 1% of the population that has all of: the INFJ-T personality type, red hair, and green / hazel eyes.

—

F I V E

5 things i can’t stop listening to (was 10 but I can’t think or find 10 isjfsfk)

selfish - madison beer

not mine - day6

thanxx - ateez

inception - ateez

21 - gracie abrams

[fixing-yixing-imagines]

Baby Project - pt 1

What happens when Y/N, a girl who has a lot of friends and is friendly to everyone she meets and loves everyone and everything regardless of if they love her, is patterned with Jeon Jungkook, a guy who only has a close knit friend group, and are forced work together on a baby simulator project? 

Word Count - 1,805

---------

   Both you and Jungkook let out a simultaneous sigh while the rest of the girls in the class let out small gasps. Glares were shot your way by the girls in your class and you couldn’t blame them, you would have also been a tiny bit jealous of the girl that got to be partnered with him…if it wasn’t you. Out of the corner of your eye you could see Renjun send a small glare over Jungkooks way, he was a but protective over you (in a friendly way) and he knew that Jungkook wouldn’t have been the best partner for this project. However annoyed both of you may have been with your pairing you had to push your quarrels aside and work hard on this project together. 

  “I’m Y/N” you said shyly to him, it was the first time that you had ever spoken to him and you were a tad nervous, 

  “I know. I’m Jungkook.” He replied, which shocked you as you had no clue as to how he knew your name, you didn’t mix with the same people, neither did you ever have any classes together, that you knew of. 

  “How do you know my name?” 

  “Well first of all, the teacher read your name out as my partner and secondly you’re quite popular in this school, nearly everyone knows your name.” 

You shyly smiled to him as you felt embarrassed by his answer, of course he knew who you were after the teacher read your name out. 

  You were trying to pluck up the courage to ask him about how you guys should work on the project and what days each of you would have the ‘baby’, but your thoughts were cut short as your teacher placed your guys’ ‘baby’ on your desk. 

   “What should we name it?” He asked you while turning to look at you, and at that moment you were sure that you had never seen such a beautiful human being before, he looked so amazing and he was staring right at you, and as he was sitting right next to you, you could finally see all of his features up close and you were jealous of just how perfect his skin was, you follow a rigorous skin care routine every morning and night but your skin was never as perfect or blemish free as his. You didn’t realise that you had been staring at him until he waved his hand in front of your face, 

  “you ok there Y/N?” he said with a slight smirk, it seems that he already knew how powerful his looks are. 

  “Oh, um, yeah, uhhh, what did you say again?” You asked, you were sure that your whole face was red by now, you felt so stupid and embarrassed, 

he chuckled slightly “well, if you weren’t enamoured by my face, then you would remember that I asked what we should name our baby” 

  That comment shouldn’t have shot your heart in such a way,  “Ummmm, I don’t know” you replied, he let out a sigh to your response, “neither do I” he said back to you. 

    “We could look up some names on baby websites or parenting forums.” you said to him in hopes of getting somewhere with picking a name. 

  “yeah sure, but, uh, we should probably check as to what gender our baby is” 

You nodded in response and picked up the baby to see what the sex of the baby was. 

  “Boy” you said to him, he just nodded and got his phone out to check some baby name sites. You did the same, browsing through baby name sites wasn’t something that you thought you’d be doing until you were at least like 27 but here you were, at 18 browsing baby forums. 

You found some cute baby names but Jungkook kept rejecting them, saying they weren’t ‘special’ enough, 

“You do know that this isn’t a real baby right?” you questioned “It won’t care or even know that is even has a name, let alone knowing that it has a special name” 

He just shrugged his shoulders, letting you know that he wasn’t going to let up on the idea of having a ‘special’ name for the toy. 

Frustrated you started saying random baby names to him. hoping that at least of of them was special, 

 “How about Kwang-sun, it means ‘wide goodness’?” He just shook his head.

 “Kyu-bok? It means ‘one who has been blessed by God’.” Again, he just shook his head, “I’m not religious” he replied, meaning that it still wasn’t the perfect name for him. 

  As you were starting to give up you scrolled onto a name that you had liked for years and were certain that if you ever had a baby boy, you would name him that name meaning that you didn’t want to name your fake baby that, as you were about to scroll down, Jungkook snatched your phone out of your hand, “I like this name, Junghwan, it’s perfect and special” You shook your head,

   “We’re not naming the baby…” “our baby” he interjected, causing your heart to flutter slightly,   

   “ok, we’re not naming our baby that.” you told him 

   “what? Why?” “Umm, I don’t know, I just don’t like it I guess” you responded looking down, 

   “But why? Junghwan is the perfect name!” You shook your head 

   “nope, not happening, let’s keep looking.” You said a bit too quickly, whenever you lied you always spoke quickly, it was something that annoyed you as sometimes you wanted to tell small white lies to people but you couldn’t due to this train. He eyed you suspiciously, obviously not buying your lie, 

    “tell me the truth as to why you don’t want to pick this name, it’s the best we’ve seen all day and the meaning as well is really good ‘righteous, honest and beauty’ what’s not to like about it?” he questioned.

     You sighed in defeat “because,” you let out a small whine “it’s the name that I want to name my real baby in the future” You told him and he nodded in understanding, 

  “ok, I understand what your saying but it’s still the perfect name! Like I know that you want to use it for your future kid or whatever but like, I don’t really wanna have kids in the future and ‘Junghwan’ has a part of my name in it, so it may be the only time that I’ll name someone or something after me.” He said trying to guilt trip you with huge puppy dog eyes and his lips slightly pouting, “You can still call your kid that in the future and you can get, uhh, practice calling a baby that, and besides like you said, it’s only a toy, it won’t even know its name.” 

  You sighed in defeat, “ok fine, we’ll call it Junghwan” he nodded with a small smile etched on his face, 

   “Maybe now we should work on a schedule on who looks after the baby when” you said, he nodded in response getting his schedule out. 

 You guys agreed that you would have the baby today and he would then have the baby tomorrow and you would keep switching like that, but on weekends you guys had to look after the baby together,  you were each given a booklet about how to look after the baby and the supplies needed in looking after the baby. You were also given a rule sheet which explained how many days you and Jungkook had to spend together co-parenting the baby, which included needing pictures to prove the time spent together. 

  Just as you were finishing up on reading the booklet, the bell rang signifying the end of class, 

  “ok then, I guess I’ll see you around” he said, while handing you a sliver of paper “here’s my number incase you need anything or if anythings wrong or if you need to switch the schedule or anything” he then smirked “or even if you just wanna talk and hear my voice.” 

    You blushed slightly but shook your head “aha, as if, but thanks anyway” you ripped off a piece of paper from the rule sheet and wrote your number on it, 

    “Here’s my number too, call me if you’re stuck on anything or if you know, you want to talk and want to hear my voice” you joked, 

  He laughed along, and waved his goodbye, and as soon as he left Renjun rushed over to you, 

   “Omg, are you ok? Has he just dumped you with the baby? Is he even gonna help you at all with the baby? If he isn’t then I’m gonna go and kick his ass…” 

You quickly intervened, “omg calm down, yes I’m fine, no, he hasn’t just dumped me with the baby, and yes, he said that he will help with the baby.” You explained “Really I’m fine, ok?” 

He sighed at your response, but nodded anyway, “hmm, ok, I’m sorry for interrogating you like that, I just wanted to make sure you were alright” You smiled at what he said and brought him into a long hug, 

  “I know, and I love you for that but don’t worry ok? If after he looks after the baby tomorrow, he decides that it’s not for him, I’ll just look after it alone and then at least I can make sure I’ll get a good grade ok?” He chuckled at what you said, 

    “Ok, but I’ll still kick his ass if he does that.” He replied. You just responded with a quiet ‘ok’ 

   “Anyway how is it working with Wendy?” You questioned him, 

   “Yeah, she’s a good partner, she’s really enthusiastic about this project, but I really wish that it was you that I was partnered with on this project.” He pouted

  You nodded your head, “I wish that I was working on this project with you too, but hey we’ll get to make new friends and I’m not complaining about being able to get closer to Jungkook.” You said while wiggling your eyebrows, suggesting that you wanted to become more that friend with Jungkook but Renjun just frowned at your comment, 

   “yeah, maybe…” he replied “anyway, I better get going, next period is starting soon, I’ll see you at lunch ok?” He said while grabbing his baby and scurrying out of the door before you could even respond, you wondered why he left so quick after you had said that thing about Jungkook, it’s not like he didn’t know about your slight crush on him, so you were really confused as to why he responded like that. 

   You were soon brought back to your sense when you heard Junghwan let out a cry. This was going to be a long few months. 

---------

We hope that you guys like it! If there are any mistakes please let us know! Also if you have any feedback then please feel free to tell us! I’m sorry that this has taken a while, my sister was in hospital last week and I couldn’t find time to write anything but she’s better now and I have time to write! Also, random, but as a sims player I’m literally always browsing baby name sites as those randomised names just don't hit right lol anyway, I’m not sure when the next part will be up but hopefully it won't be too long <3 

[fernwehbookworm]

Knight of Kandor- Chapter 8

"You added a new guard to Lena's protection?" The queen sits on a platform above me.

"Yes, your highness."

"Who is this man?"

"My former squire, John Jones. Sir James took over training him since we arrived here at court. He has now completed his training."

"I see. Are you being cautious with all these new people in the city?"

"Yes, your highness."

"Excellent. Dismissed." I bow and leave, trying to shake off the chills that I usually get when faced with the Queen.

My stomach growls. The Queen had summoned me then made me wait for hours before seeing me. She claimed it was other meetings running long but I doubted it. She used her power to make me wait before asking me tow questions. I head to my room and dress for the third night of festivities.

Again Lena steals my breath away. Her hair flows in waves over her shoulders. Her dress is free of any embroidery that distracts the eye. The blood-red silk matches the rouge of her lips and hugs every curve of her figure just right. The white of my tunic made her dress all the bolder. Lena takes my arm without a word. Some small voice in my mind spoke the truth, she continued to steal my breath because she had already stolen my heart.  I could hear my fathers voice though, shouting the whisper down, shouting down the feelings.

"Where is Lady Jessica?" I ask when I realize what felt a little off as we walked through the corridors.

"I believe being escorted to the feast by Donovan."

"Well, they are spending a lot of time together lately."

"Yes, and Jessica is absolutely giddy about it." We lapse into silence at the unspoken words between us.

The food tastes bland at the feast. I know I should enjoy it more but most my plates go untouched. I need to say something, anything, but there are too many listening ears. I do not know what I would say but I know I feel Lena pulling away and I know I do not want that. How could she trust me when I admitted to secrets that she could hang me for?

"May I have this dance?" I ask Lena.

She looks a little surprised at the abrupt question but nods. The dance floor may be crowded but there are so many people and so much noise that words do not drift too far. She is close again, too close.

"Lena..." I hesitate, looking for the right words.

"Kal, it is okay. I trust you. Why else would I be here?"

"Lena, I just wish I could tell you, but if I did you will despise me. Or send me away. My parents and I always feared what would happen if the secret was known. Now I am alone in that fear. I just..."

"Your parents?" I wince, I could not stop rambling around her.

"Never mind. I have said too much." I look away from her searching eyes.

"Kal, I do not think I could ever hate you." I look back at her and smile, trying to convince myself it was really true.

A glint of light off metal catches the corner of my eye. Suddenly time slows down. I shove Lena behind me and catch the hand holding the knife with my own. I meet the eyes of a man dressed in servants clothing. The cold confidence in his eyes though says otherwise. This was a man not just sent to kill, but trained to. I pull my fist back to aim a punch at the face staring at me with determination. Pain explodes in my side as a second knife in the man's other hand grazes my side.

I recover quickly and jab the man in his throat. The man wheels backward, I follow with a punch to the stomach, then face again. He topples unconscious to the floor. I see guards converging on us as people scatter away. I grab Lena's hand and pull her from the hall. I race through the corridors and back to her rooms, tugging her behind the whole way.

"Every single one of you is to be in the corridor immediately." I bark to the men on duty, not bothering to see who it was.

"No one gets passed you." One of them takes off to gather the others.

I pull Lena into her chambers, I think she had been protesting the whole way but I did not hear it. I check every corner of her room. Under the bed, behind curtains, the balcony, even the privy and small office.

"Kal! Please stop. Look at me." Lena finally breaks through my internal panic. I look at her standing in the middle of the floor. Concern drips from her and finally makes me walk over to her.

"Are you okay?" I ask

"Me? Kal, look at yourself. You are bleeding."

I look down. Red blooms across my white tunic, soaking it through. The sight shocks me. Suddenly my head begins to pound, my legs feel too weak to support me. My knees give out and the floor rises up to meet me.

"Kal!" I hear Lena call my name but darkness descends before I can respond.

(Winn)

Suddenly the music stopped and I jerked my head up. The nameless girl I was pretending to flirt with was immediately forgotten. People surged back from the middle of the room, screams were scattered throughout the crowd. I jumped onto the table to see what was happening, Kal stood over a man on the floor. His once white tunic now had a tear in the side and blood poured out. he grabbed Queen-in-waiting Lena's hand and pulled her out the door behind the high tables.

The gash makes me panic. Kal would not be able to see a normal healer. I begin to force my way through the surging bodies. As so as I reach the now cleared dance floor, I begin sprinting after them. Corridors rush by. At one intersection I have to stop and catch my breath. I look down and see blood splattered on the wood floor. I know they are headed to Queen-in-waiting Lena's rooms and I just hope I catch them before that. I round the hallway just in time to see one of the guards take off. the other draws his sword and drops into a fighting stance. I try to stop but my feet slide on the polished wood floor. I almost face plant on the floor at the man's feet.

"Leave! Now!" I peer under the helmet.

"Conner, buddy! It's me! Winn?" The sword points lowers to my chest.

"No one enters."

"Conner, please. Kal is hurt. He will need help." I see the panic in Conner's eyes but he is trained too well, the sword does not waver.

"Stand down!" comes a deep voice behind me.

John, Kal's former squire, approaches behind me. Conner does not move except to shift his glare to the man towering above me. Conner slowly sheaths his sword and steps aside. John rests a hand on my shoulder and steers me through the opening.

"Hey, hey, hey. Watch the tunic. It's new."

"Do you know?" he ignores my protests and I swallow hard.

"Know what?" my voice raises an octave and I curse my inability to lie.

"I will take that as a yes. He needs us before the Queen-in-waiting finds out."

"Kal!" A harsh cry comes from behind the heavy doors.

John rushes in and pulls my arm roughly behind him. Queen-in-waiting Lena kneels over Kal's unconscious form. His tunic was more red then white at this point. I stand frozen in the doorway. John rushes to flip Kal over.

"Winn, grab his feet." John's words spring me to action.

"Wait! Where are you taking him?" Queen-in-waiting Lena's voice is filled with panic.

"My lady, we have to stop the bleeding and he has supplies in his room." John tries to quell her panic.

"So go get them." She tries to force command into her voice. I take her shoulders and look deep into her eyes.

"My lady, if you trust Kal, if you want to protect him, please let us take him from here." Tears are moments from spilling out of her eyes when she nods.

Quickly I scoop up Kal's feet. John lifts his shoulders and takes most of the weight before we back through the open door.  We set Kal back down outside his own door. John pulls slightly bloodied keys from one of Kal's pockets and quickly unlocks the door. Just as swiftly John lifts Kal again and I follow him into the room. We gently set Kal on the bed and John practically dives under it. He comes up with two small chests. He opens them both. One looks to hold cloths and the other a mix of herb and plants.

"Lock the door," he commands as he moves to dig through the chest at the foot of the bed.

When the bolt is securely in place I turn back to see John searching through the wardrobe.

"Dammit, Kal. Where did you put it?"

"What are you looking for?" I ask.

"A book on herbs Kal had. I know there is one that stops bleeding but I am not sure which one.

"Oh, I know this! He gave me the book. Hold on." I look into the box of herbs, trying to remember the page. I have to peer closely in the dim light. Finally, I find it.

"Aha! Now we need to grind it with water to form a paste."

John had been pressing some of the cloths to Kal's side and nods for me to take over. Again he begins to search through Kal's belongings and finds a stone pestle and mortar. He begins with the small leaves I found, then adds in a little water from the flask on the bedside table.

"Okay, that should be good. Take off his tunic and I'll spread it on the wound. It should stop the bleeding so we can wrap Kal's chest." John hands over the pestle.

John actually just rips open the fabric instead of lifting it over Kal's head like a normal person. I scoop the green paste into my hand and use a cloth to wipe away as much blood as possible before spreading it on. My stomach turns at how wide the gap is in the skin. Once the seal is in place John lifts Kal's shoulders and I quickly remove the ruined warp and replace it. I knew Kal wrapped his chest and the extra fabric just may have saved his life.

"What now?" I ask John.

"Now we wait." John begins to put away the boxes and grinding tools. We both sink to the floor, no other seating was available in Kal's sparse possessions.

"How did you know?" I ask John.

"I was his err... her squire. I had my suspicions. Then one day I was sent to get Kal for an emergency. She was bathing in the river, deep in the woods. I backed away and began calling out to give Kal time to dress. I never told him, her, because Kal was the best. She deserved everything she earned. Plus, despite the few words and even fewer emotions, I grew to love her. Not in any romantic way, but like family. She taught me everything."

"Him, just use him. Kal told me about his secret. He may be shocked that you know."

"Well, hopefully, he lives to be shocked."

Banging on the door makes us both jump to our feet. The door shakes again with the force of it. John grabs a fresh tunic from Kal's wardrobe and tosses it to me. I struggle briefly to pull it over his head before finally getting him back into a laying position. When Kal is settled John opens the door. A furious Jessica stands in front of an almost distraught Queen-in-waiting.

"What is happening?" Lady Jessica demands.

"We think we stopped the bleeding. Now we have to see if he will wake up. Please, my lady, do not come in. If you respect Kal at all, then go wait in your own chambers."

"Just let me see him. See him breathe." Lena says in a small voice. I pull the covers up over Kal just before John lets the door swing wide.

Lena comes just far enough to see Kal's short labored breaths. Her hands fly to her mouth and she turns into Jessica's shoulder. John guides them both gently back to the  Queen-in-waiting's chambers. I slump to the floor and rest my back against the wall by Kal's head.

"Come on Kal. You cannot go out like this. I am so close to finding a way for you to be you."

[sufferthesea]

Can you do some headcanons for Kakashi, Iruka, and Gai and if they started getting love notes from a secret admirer?

asdfghjkl you’re like the sweetest person ever!!! I love you!! 🍓 Also this is so me, you have no idea. 

Hey guess who can’t write short stuff? It me. These always turn into headcanon-scenarios. But it’s not going under the cut, sorry! Please forgive misspellings and errors. I started watching Death Note on a whim while editing this. 

KAKASHI, IRUKA AND GAI GETTING LOVE NOTES FROM AN ADMIRER 

KAKASHI

I feel like Kakashi isn’t a stranger to randos fawning over him. Either they’re in awe because “it’s Kakashi, the Copy Ninja!”, or they somehow sneak a peek at him maskless, or they spend 30 seconds around him (let’s face it, he’s that cool) but he doesn’t think about it much because it’s all very shallow to him. He doesn’t like the attention and most people don’t know the “real Kakashi”, so he feels that most people’s idea of him is very false and inaccurate. His mindset is, “They love me for who they’ve made me out to be, but they would hate me for who I actually am.” 

When Kakashi first finds a love note from a secret admirer, he’s not sure what to do about it. He’s gotten confessions of love before but he’s always ignored them because - as stated - they’re seemingly shallow and only confess to loving the person everyone thinks he is. But this letter seems different - it doesn’t gush about his abilities, or how sexy he is because of the air of mystery around him, or simply fangirl because he’s Kakashi of the Sharingan. The letter doesn’t try to explain away his issues (”I know you’re like this because of what happened, but …”) and it doesn’t come across as someone with a savior complex (”I know that if you let me, I can heal you with my love!”) so he’s pretty intrigued. Who is this person? How do they know him, and how have they managed to cut through all the nonsense the village praises him for? 

It kind of scares him if this person seems to know a truer version of Kakashi. He’s afraid of being found out, afraid of people seeing he’s scared and weak and royally messed up. But he’s also drawn to this mysterious writer - how did they manage to see right through him? Does he know them? And he’s really curious depending on where he finds the letter. If it’s delivered to him through the post, he’ll figure it’s just someone who’s seen him on his walk home/has known him for a while and knows where he lives. If it’s given to him via a teammate or by the Hokage during a meeting, he’ll be kind of suspicious. (”How do they know who I’m working with? Is it … one of them?” Then he’ll study all the people he’s working with or that passes in and out of the Hokage building and see if any of their eyes linger a bit too long on him.) If he finds it in his book or his gear, he’ll be bound and determined to find out who it is because how the heck did they get into his stuff without him noticing?! 

After a couple of notes (and failed attempts to figure out who it is), Kakashi has 2 tactics he goes for. The first is to enlist Pakkun and the rest of his ninken into sniffing out the culprit. He’ll give them the letters to pick up the scent and then send them off into the village. The ninken try to pick up clues in the note (if there is any perfume or lotions, or certain smells that’d only be present at a particular shop or area of Konoha - such as ramen or varnish or flowers). (But I imagine the letter writer is too scared about being discovered, so each and every letter smells different and the ninken can’t figure out who it is for the life of them. How many different perfumes and lotions does this person own? Do they write these at restaurants and cafes? “LISTEN KAKASHI, FIVE PEOPLE HAVE HANDLED THIS LETTER BEFORE YOU GOT IT, OKAY? THE ORIGINAL SCENT IS GONE. SO UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO CHASE DOWN THE MAILMAN LIKE SOME KIND OF COMMON DOG, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO FIGURE THIS OUT.”) 

His other tactic is to leave his own notes where he’s found the love letters. If they’re in his stuff, he figures that the person will find his notes when they go to hide theirs. He’ll tuck some into his scroll pouches, pockets, in the pages of Icha Icha, wherever he found them. (But he’s kind of nervous about it and doesn’t want the person to miss his letter - so he’ll leave another piece of paper that says something like “Check front left pocket” or “Go to page 138”, asdghjkl Kakashi that defeats the purpose of “finding” the letter on your own!!) 

If it’s delivered through the post, he’ll hand over his own letter to the mailman and say, “Give this to the person who sends me these notes.” (But that’s super vague and Kakashi gets a lot of mail from people - even though he hardly reads it, and it sits in a pile on his table - so the mailman is like “??? Sure??” and there’s a 100% chance it ends up going to someone like Kotetsu or Gai or even Tsunade and everyone is really confused and Kakashi is horrified because they’ve just read his love letter?!?!? It happened like once, and Kakashi is now so paranoid and embarrassed that he either stops this idea altogether or gives the mailman the most serious, deadpan look and says, “GIVE THIS TO THE PERSON WHO SENDS ME THESE *flips love note*, OKAY?”) 

(Or he’ll write a note and give it to Lady Tsunade and just say, “This … goes to whoever’s been leaving me notes …” And she’s like, “Uh-huh … You know, you’d think with all of your capabilities, you’d have found out who it is by now.” And he’s like, “?? Wait, do YOU know?” And she’s like, “Hello? I give you these letters all the time; I sit in this office all day and see who comes in and out of the building from that window. For a guy who can copy every jutsu with his Sharingan, you sure aren’t all that observant. Maybe if you uncovered that half of your face for a while you’d be able to see who it is. But it’s none of my business …”) 

Kakashi is basically just a huge dork and tries to play it cool but inside he’s freaking out because there’s somebody out there in the village who is leaving him love notes and it’s driving him insane because he DOESN’T KNOW WHO IT IS. He knows he tells a lot of people to “let things go”, but this is something he needs to know and he probably won’t stop until he finds his secret admirer. (And when he FINALLY finds them, he’s so flippin’ nervous he’ll mess things up and that once they spend time around him they’ll realize he’s a loser and give up, so he almost wishes he hadn’t figured it out.)

IRUKA

Iruka has had his fair share of women flirting with him. Usually single moms, aunts, or grannies of the kids in his class that show up during Parent-Teacher Conferences/school events (like graduation), but that’s about it. He is pretty oblivious with most of the flirting tactics the women employ, but a few of the more bolder ones make him a little nervous so he tries his best to brush them off. (”Dinner? Oh, aha ha ha … I’m sorry but I’m incredibly busy grading homework tonight … and for the rest of the week. But I’ll see you at the next Parent-Teacher Conference!”) What a dork. (He hates this memory, but half of his coworkers will randomly bring up the time a drunk obaasan was having a good time at one of the village’s summer festivals and followed him around all night, pinching his face, grabbing his butt, and playing with his ponytail. Genma volunteered him to “walk the poor woman home” at the end of the night and Iruka was horrified to find out how strong such a small and old woman was, because he had to basically fight her off when she tried to drag him inside. RIP.) 

When Iruka first gets a love note from a secret admirer, his first thought is, “Oh, please don’t let it be a student.” He’s very likable and personable and more than one student has developed a crush on him. It’s always a little awkward for him but he does his best to discourage them and let them down gently. So when he reads the note and sees that the handwriting and the level of skill the writing took, he gives a huge sigh of relief because oh my gosh, it’s not a student, thank goodness. But now he has a new question - who IS it from? Another teacher? A parent? (Urck, he’s not sure how he feels about dating a student’s mom tbh.) Someone else? His list of suspects narrows depending on where he found it - in his desk drawer, hidden between a stack of ungraded homework assignments, or delivered to his classroom by a teacher’s aide. 

The note makes him quite flustered, ngl. Whether it’s super articulate and poetic, or just a short and blunt note, he’s blushing like mad because someone out there took the time to write it and leave it for him to find. (For a moment he thinks it’s a mistake and it’s meant for another teacher but - nope! His name is on the front, it’s definitely for him. He also wonders if it’s a prank by his co-workers since they know how he feels about women flirting with him but something about this seems genuine.) He hides his note somewhere close - either on his person or in his bag - and thinks about it for the rest of the day until he can do some investigative work. 

Iruka is, like, 10000x more per perceptive now and he pays attention to everything and everyone. He needs to know if his admirer left the note themselves, or if they had someone else drop it off. He’s almost suspicious of anyone who comes by his classroom and even briefly thinks that one of the kids was employed by their parent to hide the note in his desk. He has so many wild conspiracies running through his head, and he seems a bit like a madman. (Like … imagine the Pepe Silvia scene from It’s Always Sunny.) So anyway, he mostly watches intently and keeps track of who comes into his classroom, who has access to his papers, and who seems to be acting strange. (It drives him absolutely bonkers if he finds ANOTHER love note and didn’t even see anyone leave it!! How could he miss it?!) 

People at the Academy notice how weird he’s acting and he finally breaks down and confesses to one or two close friends that he’s been trying to figure out who’s leaving him notes (he may or may not leave out the “love” part). They agree to help him figure it out, but they think this is really funny because of how stressed and flattered he is. Mostly they’re not much help because they end up delivering a few love letters to Iruka hidden between copies of assignments, shrug and say, “Oh I don’t know, I got this from so-and-so in the break room. Must’ve been stuck in there earlier.” They have their own suspicions but don’t say anything because it’s more fun to let him figure it out. 

Finally Iruka is near his breaking point, so he ends up stalking around the Academy, practically harassing everyone there as he watches their every move. He hangs around the break room and copy room, watching with eagle eyes to see anyone shuffling love letters into his mailbox or papers. 90% of the teachers have no idea what’s going on, and the people who do know think it’s hilarious and terrifying. 

Lord help the person Iruka catches hiding the love notes in his papers. He runs over to them, grabs the note, shoves it in their face, laughing hysterically as he says, “I CAUGHT YOU! FINALLY! IT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME!” If the person he caught is only the delivery person for the secret admirer, they’d probably quit right then. (”Are you sure you like this guy? He’s so weird. You should’ve seen him when he saw me with your letter! I’m never doing that again!!”) They’d also straight up tell him, “Yeah, I left them for you but I didn’t write them. And I took a vow of silence so I can’t tell you who they’re from.” And after a lot of confusion and begging on Iruka’s part, the delivery person would give up and say, “OKAY. I can’t tell you who it is but if you write a letter, I can get it to them …” (Cue the fastest letter writing in the history of the world and Iruka frantically saying, “Here! Take it! Let me know what they say!”) 

If it IS the secret admirer he’s caught, they’re probably horrified - especially since Iruka wasn’t very subtle and there were other people in the room with them … and now they’re all staring … and now they all know they were writing love notes … to Iruka … It’s so embarrassing omg. But once he’s calmed down, he’s blushing again because this is the person who was writing love notes to him oh my gosh they’re so cute !!! and he gets enough sense in him to talk to them in private and ask about the letters, and about themselves, and he’s still so confused why they like him but he’s happy he found them - and everyone else is happy too because HE FINALLY STOPPED FOLLOWING THEM AROUND AND WATCHING THEIR EVERY MOVE, THEY’RE FINALLY FREE!!! Iruka gets a little overzealous sometimes …

MAITO GAI

First reaction: crying about how youthful it is to receive love notes. Second reaction: a hearty chuckle of success because he realizes no one can resist the Green Beast of Konoha. Third reaction: he shoves the letter into Kakashi’s face and asks, “Did YOU receive such a youthful and lovely letter, filled to the brim with kind words and compliments, signed anonymously - too shy to reveal their true selves?! There is something so wonderful about the unsure confession of love by a secret admirer.” Everyone is in shock that not only does someone like Gai, but they’re actually writing him love notes. 

Gai is probably the type to make an assumption about who wrote the letter, find himself around them, give a “knowing” laugh when they say/do something contradictory to liking him, wink, give a thumbs up and say, “Don’t worry about it … We both know the truth. There’s no need to be shy!” And they ?? have no idea ?? what he’s talking about ?? (Tenten looks on in secondhand embarrassment, trying to gingerly break the news, “Gai-sensei … I don’t think it was them …” Gai is confused because, no - he’s sure it’s them. Right? It’s obvious. They’re just shy! Gai they’re not shy, they’re wondering why the Green Beast of Konoha is trying to make the moves on them when they have done absolutely nothing to indicate that they’re interested.) 

Rock Lee is just as invested in this as Gai because he thinks it’s so lovely; Neji is wondering who in the world would send a love note to his teacher; Tenten very surprised but also intrigued; they all end up helping Gai find his secret admirer because they’re all curious (and Gai definitely sees this as an opportunity to turn it into a training exercise in information gathering, stealth tactics, and teamwork - as well as trying to one-up Kakashi by proving that he too has hoards of fangirls). (”Gai-sensei, it was ONE note …”) 

Gai’s secret admirer would have to be pretty creative and sneaky to get the notes to him if they didn’t want to get caught, especially now that he’s looking for them. They probably do something ridiculous like tie the note to a bird, set the bird off towards the training fields, train the bird to steal something/pester the genin or Gai until they can’t take it anymore so they’ll grab the bird and find the note (all the while the secret admirer watches from a distance as Gai reads the letter). Or they tack love letters on the trees all along the path Gai takes when he jogs in the morning, so that only he can find them. He is both in awe by their dedication, and really impressed because only he and Rock Lee get up that early to train - so this person knows his schedule pretty well. (Is it really a crush if you haven’t stalked them a little bit?) 

Gai respects boundaries and he understands some people are more reserved about their feelings (he’s been friends with Kakashi since forever), so he won’t try to do anything to embarrass or publicly out his secret admirer. As stated above, he may get a little ahead of himself and start hinting towards someone that he knows it’s them - even if it’s not. But as soon as he understands that’s not the person, he backs off and apologizes, saying, “I’m sorry - I thought you were the person I’d been corresponding with.” (He doesn’t want so many other people to know this person has a crush on him - it’s not his secret to tell, so he tells little lies like that they’re a penpal or something.) 

He isn’t super perturbed if he can’t immediately find this secret admirer. There are some moments when he clenches his fist in frustration because he just wants to meet them - but he also enjoys the surprise of finding a new letter for him on the training field, waiting for him at the counter of a weapons shop, or even slipped under the door of his apartment. (He cried once when he got a poem instead of a letter, and it compared his green jumpsuit to the “comforting forests outside the village”, his hair to “the blackest of starless skies, still aglow with the halo of a new moon” and his smile to “the most radiant beam of sunshine to warm the hearts” of those around him.) He saves all of these and keeps them where he can read them every day. The poems he tacks to his fridge door, and the very first one he received he keeps in his vest pocket. 

Since this secret admirer knows Gai’s schedule pretty well, they’ve been watching him to make sure he doesn’t catch them leaving notes - and they’ve seen him mistakenly think a few other shinobi/civilians were writing the love notes. They can see that he isn’t turned off or weirded out by it all, so they gain some confidence and decide to reveal themselves. They show up to the training grounds at 4am (when Gai shows up to start his morning routine) and Gai is there alone, already training. He notices them right away but doesn’t say anything so he won’t scare them off. When they get close enough, he stops his training and looks at them, giving them a gentle smile. Nervously, they approach and shove a final letter at him. He reads it and then grins at them, “So it’s you. I’ve been waiting for you to show up. Would you like to take a walk?”

Gai totally walks them down the same path he jogs every day and he points at every tree that used to have a love note attached to it, recounts which note it was, and he’ll tell them his favorite part about the note, and when they get to the end of the walk he’ll pull out the very first letter he got so they could see he kept it “close to my heart, where it belongs!” And then, in a final act (with his genin watching from the bushes), Gai pulls out another piece of paper, unfolds it, and proudly starts reading a poem that HE wrote for his secret admirer. Rock Lee cries, Neji shakes his head seemingly in resignation (but he’s secretly happy for his teacher), and Tenten is honestly surprised at how talented Gai is (”Who knew he would write like that? Do you think he ever did a writing competition with Kakashi-sensei?” Don’t give him any ideas, Tenten). Of course, after all of this Gai would ask his secret admirer if they were okay with other people knowing who wrote the letters. If yes, then he’d proudly tell everyone so he could brag about their talent and their kindness. If not, then he’d quietly keep the letters to himself and when people asked about it, he’d just say he hadn’t figured it out yet but he would eventually. (Way too sweet, 10/10 best person ever.)

[swanqueeneverafter]

05. That Still Small Voice, Pt.1

The Enchanted Forest. Past. (A crowd has gathered to watch a puppet show.) Princess Puppet: “I wish, I wish, but nothing changes. I wish I was better at wishing! Alas, will no one slay this fearsome dragon and win my hand in marriage?” (a young boy weaves through the crowd, pick-pocketing.) Prince Puppet: “Aha! I will slay the fearsome dragon, milady, or die trying!” Princess Puppet: “Goodbye, dear prince. It was nice knowing you!” (The princess puppet is removed, and a dragon puppet is brought in in its place.) Dragon Puppet: “Who dares disturb my sleep?” Prince Puppet: “Uh, he went that way!” Dragon Puppet: “Then I will go that way!” Prince Puppet: “Very good idea. You go that way and I'll...” (Dialogue fades out.) The Enchanted Forest. Past. (In the woods after the puppet show, the puppeteers Myrna and Martin and their son Jiminy are examining their earnings.) Martin: “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Careful, careful.” Myrna: “Don't let those coins roll away.” Martin: “No, they might disappear. (He performs a sleight of hand trick, making the coin disappear and "reappear" behind Myrna's ear:) Whoop, whoop, ha! Look at that.” Jiminy: (Pulling a cricket in a cage out of a bag:) “Oh, a cricket! I love crickets.” Myrna: “Crickets are trouble. Noisy bugs.” Jiminy: “But they get to do whatever they want, hopping from place to place. They're free.” Myrna: “You're free.” Martin: “To do what we want.” Myrna: “To be who you are.” Martin: “And you are who you are.” Jiminy: “Well maybe I want to be something else. Maybe I don't wanna steal. Maybe I wanna be good.” Martin: “All that from a cricket.” Myrna: “Told ya. Trouble.” Martin: “ ‘Good’ is another word for ‘weak’.” Myrna: “Let us do the thinking for you.” Martin: “That's what parents are for.” Myrna: “To help you.” Martin: “You are who you are, and there's no changing it Jiminy. Right?” Jiminy: “Right.” Martin: “Right. Problem solved.” Storybrooke. Present day. Dr. Archie Hopper's office. (Dr. Hopper is writing during a session with Henry Mills.) Henry: “You weren't always a cricket.” Archie: “I wasn't al... Oh right, because um... because you think I'm Jiminy Cricket. Why... Why do you... Why do you think that Henry?” Henry: “It's just because of who you are.” Archie: “And who am I?” Henry: “You're a conscience. You help people see right from wrong.” Archie: “So all of the crickets in Storybrooke, they were once people too?” Henry: “There aren't any crickets here. Listen.” (He goes to the window and listens. An owl is heard hooting, but no crickets are heard.) Archie: “Maybe it isn't late enough.” Henry: “There's never been crickets here. You've just never noticed.” Archie: “So you think that's proof that there's a curse?” Henry: “Yes, but I know it's not enough. I'm looking for more.” Archie: “So Henry, look, I asked you this once before and you said you'd think about it. Why do you think it is so important that this is real?” Henry: “It... It just is.” Archie: “Alright, well... Keep thinking about that answer Henry, 'cause I think there's something buried there.”

Storybrooke. Storybrooke Sheriff Department. (Emma Swan and Sheriff Graham discuss her uniform and her new position as deputy sheriff.) Emma: (Holds up shirt:) “A tie? You know you don't have to dress a woman as a man to give her authority.“ Graham: “So you think you can get people to do what you want in that red coat?” Emma: “I'm getting you to do what I want right now.” (She throws the shirt down.) Graham: “Well, at least wear the badge. Go on. Take it. If you really want to be a part of this community, you have to make it official.” (She clips the badge to her belt, and a loud tremor shakes the office briefly. Car alarms are heard going off outside and all of the telephones begin to ring. Emma looks down at the badge on her belt in wonderment.) Storybrooke. Entrance to the Mines. (A crowd gathers around what appears to be a mine collapse. The Mayor, Regina Mills, exits her car and approaches the crowd as a police cruiser arrives.) Regina: “Everyone step back please.” Ruby: “Is that a crater?” Marco: “No. There were tunnels, uh, old mines, something collapsed.” Regina: “Be careful, step back. (Sheriff Graham and Emma approach:) Sheriff, set up a police perimeter. Marco, why don't you help with the fire department? Miss Swan, this is now official town business. You're free to go.” Emma: “Well, actually I work for the town now.” (Regina gives Graham a look.) Graham: “She's my new deputy.” Regina: “They say the mayor's always last to know.” Graham: “It's in my budget.” Emma: (To Regina, simply:) “Roots.” Regina: “Indeed. (She gives Graham another look, then addresses Emma:) Deputy, why don't you make yourself useful and help with crowd control? (Speaking to crowd:) People of Storybrooke, don't be alarmed. We've always known this area was honeycombed with old mining tunnels, but fear not. I'm going to undertake a project to make this area safe, to rehabilitate it to city use. We will bulldoze it, collapse it, pave it.” (As she speaks, Henry and Dr. Hopper arrive.) Henry: “Pave it? What if there's something down there?” Regina:(Whispering:) “Henry, what are you doing here?” Henry: (Whispering:) “What's down there?” Regina: “Nothing. Now step back. (To the crowd at large:) In fact everyone please, please step back. Thank you. Let's go boys.” (Regina picks up a piece of glass with a worried look and Henry notices.) Henry: (to Emma:) “What was that?” Regina: “Henry, enough. Listen, this is a safety issue now wait in the car. (To Emma and Graham:) Deputy Swan, Sheriff, cordon off the area.”

Henry: (Gets out of his mother's car and motions to Archie:) “Hey, Archie. Over here. (Both Archie and Emma approach:) This requires all of Operation Cobra... both of you.” Archie: “I didn't realize I was in Operation Cobra.” Henry: “Of course you are, you know everything. We can't let her do this. What if there's something down there?” Emma: “They're just some old tunnels.” Henry: “That just happen to collapse right after you get here? You're changing things. You're weakening the Curse.” Emma: “That's not what's happening.” Henry: “Yes it is. Did you do anything different today? 'Cause something made this happen.” (Emma touches her badge.) Regina: “Henry, I told you to wait in the car. Deputy, do your job. (Archie starts walking away:) Dr. Hopper a word please? (He approaches Regina:) Okay, we're done with this.” Archie: “Uh, excuse me?” Regina: “My son. We need a new treatment plan. Everything I do he thinks is part of some horrible plot. I can't cover up a safety hazard without him thinking I'm hiding something. How am I hiding something terrible in an old mine? How is any of this logical to him?” Archie: “He's got an amazing imagination.” Regina: “Yes, that you let run rampant.” Archie: “Well I think it would be wrong to rip away the world he's constructed. I'd rather use it to try and get--” Regina: “Sometimes I think you've forgotten. You work for me. You're an employee, and I can fire you. This is my town. You will lose your office, lose your house. I can cut you down to size until you're a tiny, shrunken little creature, and this (Holds up his umbrella:) will be the only roof over your damn head.” Archie: “What would you have me do?” Regina: “You take that delusion out of my son's head, and you crush it.”

[allissonn]

2008 vs 2016 vs 2019

Do you still talk to the first person you fell the hardest for?

2008 - Everyday :) 2016 – All the time 2019 - It’s all I want to do.

2. Have you ever seen your best friend naked? 2008 - Haha, no. And no thanks either. 2016 – You’d think so but nah 2019 - I consider Russel one of my best friends, the best of the best, so yes. 

3. Are you obsessed with someone? 2008 - Other than Edward Cullen? Nope. HAHAA! 2016 – Ew ^ 2019 - Hella ew to both answers.

5. Do you like more than one person right now? 2008 - Nope. 2016 – Nah, I’ve never been so committed 2019 - Yes, ninety nine percent of the people in my life right now. Surround yourself w good people.

6. Name something that you would love to eat right now? 2008 - A poutine from New York Fries. Lol. 2016 – Pho from THDang. Best I’ve ever had and this cold is killing me right now 2019 - THDANG FOREVER.

7. Did you get any compliments today? 2008 - Mhmm. 2016 – Russel constantly reminds me how much he loves me everyday, if that counts 2019 - Russ called me beautiful otw to work this morning. He also told me he loves me, my favorite compliment of all.

8. Last Person you talked to on msn? 2008 - Laika.. Hol. 2016 – RIP MSN 2019 - Lowkey miss the MSN days.

9. Who was the last two people to call you? 2008 - In person? Or on the phone? 2016 – My mom, to check up on my sick ass and Jeffrey asking what my Tim’s order was 2019 - My cousin Leslie, but I missed it.

10. If you could pick the temperature of the outdoors for the rest of your life would you? 2008 - No doubt. 2016 – Hell yes. Fuck this -35 bull happening right now 2019 - Absolutely, global warming is real and it’s terrifying.

11. If you could have one super power what would it be? 2008 - To be able to read your mind :) 2016 – The power to heal any injured living thing would be nice 2019 - I’m honestly shocked that my answer in 2016 was so mature. I’m sticking w it.

12. Are you happy? 2008 - Not at the moment. 2016 – Happiest I’ve been in a ridiculously long time 2019 - Could be happier.

13. What’s your favorite smell? 2008 - Vanilla :) 2016 – Still vanilla. It’s nice to know some things just don’t change 2019 - Russel’s natural scent mixed w some D&G Light Blue.

14. Are you moody? 2008 - I don’t think so :S 2016 – Yeah, but I’m not going to apologize for it 2019 - Constantly. Right now even.

15. Last person you hung out with? 2008 - Whoever was there afterschool. 2016 – Does Russel count if we live together? If not, his cousins at their annual Christmas party 2019 - Went to Activate w the Espiritu’s last weekend. Otherwise it’s been work and straight home since. Adulting sucks.

16. Have you ever tried to NOT fall for someone? 2008 - Sadly, yes. Whompwhomp. 2016 – Apparently ^ 2019 - Every single person I’ve fallen for tbh.

17. Have you ever toilet papered someone’s house? 2008 - I wish, ahaha 2016 – Still on my bucket list unfortunately 2019 - Haven’t done it, but no longer on my bucket list. Think green, you know?

18. Have you ever liked someone but never told them? 2008 - Hello Jr. High. Haa.. 2016 – Story time, I actually had a thing for Russ in high school but didn’t tell him until we were officially together five years later. Lol 2019 - I just realized I was already dating Russ in 2016 and holy shit that year felt like a lifetime ago.

19. Have you ever gone camping? 2008 - Yes. And I absolutely hate it. 2016 – Yes, and I still hate it 2019 - Yes. I’m also willing to give it another try. The growth is real.

20. Are you a liar? 2008 - According to Roxanne I suck. Lol. 2016 – I’d be lying if I said no, so no 2019 - Yes, but terrible at it.

21. Have you ever gone to a nude beach? 2008 - No. 2016 – Nah, that’s not a priority of any sort 2019 - Still a solid no.

29. Have you ever had a stalker? 2008 - In a way, yeah :/ 2016 – Story time part two: Yes, and the only way to get him to stop talking to me was to constantly remind him that my boyfriend was in jail. Which wasn’t a lie, not entirely at least 2019 - Wow, completely forgot I had a stalker at one point too. 

22. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? 2008 - No. 2016 – Still a no 2019 - This is definitely still on my bucket list.

23. Listening to music? What are you listening to? 2008 - Yes. Read the title of this note. 2016 – Starboy by The Weeknd 2019 - My 4.LT playlist on spotify for my emotional ass. Don’t Wanna Be Your Girl by WET.

24. Have you ever been betrayed by your best friend(s)? 2008 - Mhmm. 2016 - LOL 2019 - The number of times this has come up today alone compared to the last year is insane.

25. Have you ever lied to your parents? 2008 - Yes :/ 2016 - Unfortunately 2019 - Wish I never did,

26. Have you ever worn your best friend’s clothes? 2008 - Yeap. 2016 – If we’re talking about Russ, I’m wearing his shirt right now 2019 - Still wearing his shirt tbh.

27. Have you ever thrown up from working out? 2008 - Nope. 2016 – Thankfully not, although that makes me think I’m not working hard enough 2019 - Again, probably not pushing myself hard enough.

28. Have you had a bad haircut? 2008 - Tons -_-“ 2016 - Girl 2019 - Girlllllllllll.

29. Where are your siblings right now? 2008 - One is upstairs? The other is who knows where. 2016 – I honestly don’t know. I haven’t seen either of them in weeks. Horrible 2019 - Living their own/best lives.

30. Last place you cried? 2008 - In the car. Ha. 2016 – In my room, probably over some tv show for sure 2019 - Literally in this exact spot, minutes before I decided to do this to change the mood. Sheesh.

31. Name three things you did today? 2008 - That stupid english essay, ran around in the rain, and survived the day. Booya. 2016 – I tell you three things I didn’t do today: Sleep, go to work and get some fresh air 2019 - Work. Eat. Sleep.

32. Last person you text messaged? 2008 - Jodianne. 2016 – Jodianne again. Crazy 2019 -  My groupchat w Pacifico and Michelle

33. Future kids names? 2008 - Lol. Yeah, I’m gonna name my kid Lol. NAT. 2016 – I’m really feeling “Riley” because it’s unisex 2019 - Still into unisex names. Possibly something in connection w my grandparents’ names.

34. What are you doing tomorrow? 2008 - My eng exam :/ 2016 – Waking up at 530 just to pick up my work equipment even though my two week vacation already started. Shitty 2019 - Working. Eating. Sleeping. Repeating. Adulting.

35. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid? 2008 - Of course! 2016 – Anything Britney Spears was my shit 2019 - I miss the days when Allan and I would blast the radio in the living room at the Banning house. Running around and jumping on/over furniture. Singing at the top of our lungs. 

36. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? 2008 - Nope, sorray. 2016 – Over and over again 2019 - Until the end of time.

37. Are you allergic to anything? 2008 - None what so ever. 2016 – Hair dye 2019 - Hair dye and AHA’s.

38. What is your mood? 2008 - I feel so giddy, yet tired. 2016 – I feel like crap rn 2019 - Shitty as fuck.

39. Is anyone jealous of you? 2008 - How should I know? 2016 - ^ 2019 - If they are, they shouldn’t be.

40. When is the last time you got into a fight? 2008 - Yesterday. Not physically tho. 2016 – Got into a dumbass fight over being “the captain” with Russ a few hours ago. Lasted not even ten minutes 2019 - A few months ago Russ and I gave each other the silent treatment for almost three entire days. It was extremely difficult considering how entwined our lives are.

41. Where were you 2 hours ago? 2008 - Finishing my essay. Yay. 2016 – Exactly where I am rn 2019 - I haven’t moved in three hours.

42. Where were you 6 hours ago? 2008 - In eng class talking to Arlyn :) 2016 – Is it sad that I haven’t really moved all day 2019 - At work earning this comfy lifestyle. 

43. What does your hair look like right now? 2008 - It’s in a ponytail. 2016 – It’s in a messy bun 2019 - If I’m home, my hair is in a bun.

44.Has anyone ever told you that they like you more than as a friend? 2008 - Yeah. 2016 – I remember exactly what Russel said when he admitted he was into me haha 2019 - I remember every single time someone has told me.

45. What have you eaten today? 2008 - Food. 2016 – Pancit, eggs, pizza bites, sinigang, and yet I’m so hungry right now 2019 - For breakfast I had a shitty Beyond Meat breakfast sandwhich and a coffee from Tim’s. I had a bagel w honey ham, mixed greens and sriracha mayo sandwich for lunch. For dinner, I picked up Tocilog and Sisilog from Mar’s Sisig for Russ and I.

46. Is your hair naturally curly, straight, or nappy? 2008 - Wavy? Wth is nappy? 2016 – Dang I was so uncultured ^ It’s naturally wavy 2019 - Wavy. Also, something worth mentioning, I haven’t blow dried OR straightened my hair all summer. Again, the growth is real.

47. Who was the last friend you were in the car with? 2008 - Laika.. Hol. :D Hehee. 2016 – Pacifico most likely 2019 - Ashana drove me to Selkirk the other weekend, but she’s more family than friend tbh.

48. What are you looking forward to? 2008 - Tomorrow, I guess :( 2016 – it’s the most wonderful time of the year! 2019 - I need something to look forward to. How depressing.

49. What do you think about marriage? 2008 - Too young to even think about it. 2016 – I ain’t stressing it 2019 - Should it happen, it happens. But honestly, starting a family is more of a priority to me right now.

50. Any of your friends getting married? 2008 - Not that I know of. 2016 – I’m at that age where everyone I know is either engaged, married and/or having children 2019 - This^. Stil.

[kimnamjelly-blog]

Thicker Than the Water of the Womb

Write a self para about your character of at least 1800 {total is 2684} words about their love life and/or their wished for love life.  {a day late but i’m not trying to qualify so eh}

Peaches irreparably reminded him of Ares—from that first day he spoke to him, the first time he dipped down to touch lips and tasted traces of homemade peach ice cream left from it, falling asleep during his lessons under the peach trees... There was a tendency for the three of them to compare Ares to an angel. In some ways it was a joke, because no people knew better than them what Ares could be like, but it was also hopelessly genuine. Peaches and angelic smiles. That full-body laughter that made Namjoon’s heart ache like it’s too small to hold so much warmth. Those looks Ares gave him sometimes, like he was the whole world in some ways, and Namjoon was sure, absolutely sure, that he would die for him. Maybe die because of him.

Jazz was a king, the gentlest man, the youngest, silently still, soft stars. He was more than skin and scars and tattoos could contain. Meeting him was a fluke, and inarguably a brilliant blip in time. Those deviations persisted until he could feel harmonies singing under his blood. Jazz was his strength in ways he could never imagine, given that he saw him a few days a week past midnight like the universe’s most beautiful, captured dream. He imagined his fingers interlocked with his when he hadn’t quite learned for himself what steady hands were, and Jazz’s were the steadiest. There were fences he didn’t realize he could climb until Jazz was on the other side, asking him whether he had the strength to come along. He did, he found out, and wanted that love that didn’t leave him gripping the edge of the sink and sobbing. That love that was tucked into the soft smile Jazz got, that forgave him for things Namjoon hadn’t even gotten to yet, that asked him questions and sought answers he hadn’t realized were worth giving. Where Ares was still yet an unreachable seraphim, Jazz was tangible and more than enough. More than enough to realize his perspective on support and smiles was completely wrong. Love wasn’t a fluke like first meetings could be, it wasn’t an act of providence, it wasn’t just in passerby or just the local angel. It was close by and steady as a rock, even when its cracks showed.

There were laws in order that suggested when paths intertwined too many times without meaning, the world would conspire to make them meet. Burned cheeks under layers and layers of sunscreen, hands awash in painted rainbows like a gay pride parade, and the distinct memory of laughter caught under his tongue and an earnestness to know. There was a humor to Hazel that was aglow in the boniness of his arms, defiance and strength met head-on that had seen things Namjoon simply hadn’t yet. In so many ways, Namjoon yearned to be loved. He asked it of Hazel, and somewhere, somehow, he’d given it over because he was gentler than Jazz and sweeter than Ares under his bruised, grumbling eyes. He could have met him amongst honey bees, or under Jongup’s steady hands and ink, but he met him alone, surrounded by sunlight and brick and an almost-toppled glass of water. For a time, he was most afraid of failing him, of being less than Hazel had imagined him to be—especially when he had a moat, a cave, a whole decrepit childhood castle of worthlessness and injury—but somewhere, somehow, he realized he’d failed to see Hazel as so, so, so human. And that’s when he fell in love, sitting at the apartment table across the room and doing nothing. Nothing of import.

They’d snuck into his heart like he’d never had walls there in the first place, and he was pretty sure he’d let them. If there had been a fight, they bore no bruises. No stretch marks (no, he’d been to slow for that). Just him trying to remember when, exactly, he’d given them the key to the front gate one by one, and how they managed to see him broken and bleeding and bruised and sobbing and still wanted him.

Calling it a miracle wouldn’t do them justice.

Eventually, they’d find and ask about the journal he’d forgotten about, with entries so old his handwriting was not only chicken scratch but almost completely illegible. But they wouldn’t know about its companion for some time, and Namjoon kind of preferred it that way. It wasn’t that it was filled with horrors and nightmares. It was, in fact, the first’s exact opposite. Writing out all the bad things to make sense of them was nice in theory, but once the pages started being filled deep into the latter half of a hundred, the negativity was overwhelming. So he’d been given a second journal where the first twenty-three pages were in smudged lilac pen and the rest would make do in varying shades of purple. Most of the lilac pages were crowded with Kijung, sometimes Kitae or Jiha, and he’d memorized the pages where his parents had made it in so he never had to read them until he was ready.

But around when the magenta fountain pen had started being used, and what was Korean turned into shaky English, there were mentions of Ares. Right when the violet pen started running out came Jazz, and with the pinky-lavender was Hazel. He had a vague idea of what he was doing when he wrote about them, harboring a suspicion that if he looked back on these things he’d want to hide this journal both from himself and somewhere deep where no else one could find it either.

So he usually wrote with as much maturity as he could muster for the sake of whatever future self decided to self-inflict embarrassment, but still things like, “He’s so cute I’m going to vomit” made it in there. Luckily, given most contexts, he couldn’t really blame himself. It was still relatable and applicable and probably always would be.

2011/8/8

Didn’t mean to not write for so long. Hyunja locked me out of our room. The roof is better than sleeping next to him, anyway. There are some really bright stars even with all the street lamps on. Maybe I can sneak out to visit the library? To look up constellation names or something. Kinda need sleep, though, and the shingles aren’t exactly God’s best mattress. Work was gross today (temperature was in the high thirties and I wanted to peel my skin off), but the peaches are really pretty. They get this kinda reddish color. I expected them to be lighter for some reason. More pinkish. I met Park Jimin yesterday. He’s younger than me, I think? I was really embarrassing, but he made me smile. Some guy was being dumb and Jimin-ah punched him. I’d let him punch me, too. If he wanted. Forcing me to take credit for the peaches he picked was as close as I’ll get, though, probably. Equally as humbling. I was kind of thinking of his ears the whole time because I said some stupid things (I didn’t really expect him to speak Korean, actually, which I guess was pretty stupid of me) but he also has nice ears. If he blushes they go more pink than the peaches. The whole of him is really nice though. And I mean whole. He punched someone but I would have, too, if I were him, and he’s really nice. About as nice as his parents, so I guess it runs in families, huh? Gotta wonder about me, then. But if Jimin-ah liked me okay, I must be nice enough, too. (Consensus: “nice” is the word of the day) Remember when I said I thought maybe I could be gay? He was really cute. I wonder if he’s okay being called that? It’s probably not better to call him pretty, but. Yeah. It’ll be nice to have someone to talk to if I see him again.

2011/8/9

On a scale of petty, where would I lie for locking Hyunja out of our room? Just hypothetically, really. I don’t feel like getting scalped today. Or ever. Update: Jimin-ah’s laugh just about killed me today. He still hasn’t punched me, but I’m waiting. It’s an open (unspoken) invitation. For the record, he did laugh that first day but I was kinda distracted by how embarrassed I was to be me. Existence is a real struggle. I’m fully prepared for this crush. But he’s not too distracting, which is nice. I mean, he’s distracting if he can be distracting, but I’m still getting plenty of work done. Accidentally broke some shit today and was ignored, which is better than literally any realistic alternative.

[...]

2011/9/3

Hey, America? English sucks. Kim Namjoon Kim Namjoon Kim Namjoon Kim Namjoon Park Jimin Park Jimin Park Jimin. He has good p a handriting. That looks wrong. I didn’t He’s really, really nice. I think noona would have liked him? I miss It was cooler out today because it rained last night. Grass grows really fast. There’s already some green everywhere, so I hope it rains again (even if I can’t go out at night). I miss the flowers.

[...]

2011/12/20

Somehow no one has noticed I d have my ears pierced. It has been more than two weeks. Eiht Eighteen days. They said six to eight weeks, so I will listen to them. My ears feel okay, though. It will be worth the money to buy earrings. Small circles? Hoops. If Hyunja sees them, I think he will rip them out, but I have been sleeping out on the roof again. I forgot the word, sorry. I was right. Jimin looks nice. I do not know how to describe him. Not in English, but I promised I would practice. Verb tenses are worst. Writing this has taken a long time. He looks at me sometimes and I do not think it. I freeze up and want to cry kind of. I have to leave this job soon, though, and I do not want to. I will miss the peaches. Jimin goes to the same high school as me. I will not miss him as much. Because of him I am far in my English classes even though it is not my language, but it still takes time to read assignments. I do not have a lot of time. The CHSPE does not need good grades before though. I will do my best.

[...]

10/21/2012

I still think America writes their dates... stupidly. I just took the CHSPE and I’m sending Jimin kisses for all he’s done for me (like I’ll ever kiss him aha). And my English teachers, of course. The test didn’t go so bad, but it’s hard to tell until we get the results back. I have to wait for those and pretend like someone’s not going to have my hide if I end up failing. The math was easiest, but I feel an okay sort of confident. It still sucks not having any classes with Jimin, but I never have. Also, Halloween still makes me laugh. If Hyunja goes to answer the door this year I’ll hit him with a frying pan. He can keep his gross hands off of the children dressed like Darth Vader and stuff. They’re so little every year oh my god. I mean I have my nieces and nephews but it’s different. Plus mine don’t dress up like Snow White, you know?

[...]

2/28/2013

okay okay okay okay I’m so gay it hurts. I’m okay.

So I met someone on one of my midnight things. It was the frozens section and I was embarrassing as usual but oh my god he had the cutest smile and I’m still hurting. His name is Moon Jongup, which I’m writing down so I don’t make a fool of myself when I see him again. I had to show him something so I asked him to find me on the street off of where I went when I was avoiding the dead body in our room. Which is morbid I guess but the place is really pretty, and it’s not like I’m going to tell him why I went there? I hope he likes it. It’s far enough from home that we should be okay. I wasn’t really thinking when I asked and now I’m really nervous. But what’s done is done and I’ll meet him. Bring a book, maybe, just in case he doesn’t show up. Which would make sense. I’m reading a really good book right now. I’ve been reading it for ages, though, so it’ll be nice to have an excuse to maybe get past chapter seven. I haven’t seen Jimin a lot lately, but sometimes he’ll drag me to sit with him at lunch if he finds me cleaning. Someone should tell him he’s beautiful since I’m in too deep to properly do it. He might hear it all the time, actually, but telling someone their appearance is beautiful is different than telling someone their personality is beautiful, you know? I’m usually really tired by lunchtime because I don’t know what sleep means, but he brightens my day if he’s there.

3/3/2013

So I had another gay awakening with Jongup, right? But that’s kind of whatever, because he’s just really easy to talk to. And that’s better than any gay awakening. We have to keep agreeing to meet each other because he doesn’t have a phone (he’s younger than me, which like wow. Where does he get off looking like that at 15? That feels really young, by the way, but only when I realize I’m 16, which still doesn’t feel real). He told me about constellations. We didn’t end up waiting for sunrise because the sky was cloudless and those sunrises are kind of boring, but it was a really nice night to look at the stars, and he seems really passionate about those. It suits his family name really well. Also, he has a few tattoos already and I know not to ask about them, but he’s kind of amazing. For making decisions like that already, and they’re really good looking. They’re just these small details, and I obviously can’t know if the ones I’ve seen are all he has visible because it’s cold as balls at night still and long sleeves are a survival measure, but yeah. They look good on him.

[...]

8/19/2014

I told Jongup about the artist who’s painting the side of the restaurant, and even if I didn’t make the artist laugh, I made Jongup laugh. So I’ll settle. Which yeah by the way, there’s an artist painting the side of the restaurant. Because I think there was some miscommunication about lunch, I ended up giving him some of mine. I don’t know the details, but it was super gross outside, so I figured he’d want something. Water and stuff. His art is really beautiful. He was painting this lily when I went out to talk to him first and... I guess I wouldn’t peg him as someone who paints flowers, but it’s really beautiful so far. I can’t wait to see it finished. Also, I hope he doesn’t get heatstroke. If I had a standup umbrella or something I’d bring it for him. Think I can make him smile? It’s gonna be a feat when it looks like he’s been running on two hours of sleep and has been sitting out in the sun for hours on end, but I kind of want to see it.

[...]

13/19/2014

GUESS WHO MADE HIM SMILE. It took fucking forever and he’s just about done with his mural but hey guess what. It’s really cute. Turns out grumpy artists paint the best flowers and have the best smiles. I gotta go but I had to make that announcement at least. Bye!

[hyucksbf]

92 statements !

aaaaaaa so i’m finally getting around to doing all the tag games ive been tagged in so yeeeee,, thank u @nakamottoyuta and @thenctscenarios for tagging me !!! someone else might have but i dont remember akksdhkkh

LAST

1. drink: milk

2. phone call: uhh ?? i think my private teacher ??

3. text message: to one of my music camp friends !!

4. song you listened to: 태양처럼 by day6, specifically this live bc it’s better than the actual studio recording tbfh

5. time you cried: i cried at music camp bc i was having an internal crisis w myself aha :)

HAVE YOU EVER...

6. dated someone twice: never dated anyone oops

7. kissed someone and regretted it: i was almost kissed at music camp but thank god i avoided it bc i definitely would of regretted it since i didnt even kno the dude lmao like pls u dont just get to take my first kiss like that thanks

8. been cheated on: again,, never dated whoops

9. lost someone special: yea :(

10. been depressed: yep

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: jsjdh nope and i never will bc alcohol is just so unappealing to me

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12, 13, 14: pink, orange, and purple

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. made new friends: yes many !!! i love u all !!

16. fallen out of love: no...?

17. laughed until you cried: *music camp flashbacks*

18. found out someone was talking about you: yes but in a good way

19. met someone who changed you: yes many !!!

20. find out who your real friends are: yea kinda ://

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: dont own a facebook u nerds

GENERAL:

22. how many of your facebook tumblr friends do you know in real life: changed it bc its more fun this way but !! shoutout to my irl friends who happen to be nerdy enough to also own a tumblr: @iwriteblogpostsnotsongs @graciasysaludo

23. do you have any pets: yes sjsjhj i have my best friend davidson the cat i love him then i have another cat whos really old shes like 17 but shes a sweetheart and then we also have two doggos (three if u include my grandparents dog who lives downstairs i love him the most aaaaa) and then two guinea pigs

24. do you want to change your name: sometimes i think of other names but i think ive created a name for myself with this one so i cant really leave it

25. what did you do for your last birthday: hsjhj i dont rememeber probably a small party or smth like that ???

26. what time did you wake up: uhh i think around 10:30 ?

27. what were you thinking at midnight last night: “why the fuck am i not asleep already”

28. name something you can’t wait for: districts next year aaaaaa !!!!

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: an hour ago ??

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: have be people be more open minded and nice

31. what are you listening to right now: first time by day6 bc day6 is the Shit i love

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: probably ??

33. something that is getting on your nerves: nothing really rn,, i’m pretty content

34. most visited website: u kno what it is lmao

35. elementary: if u have not completed elementary school yet pls leave tumblr pls

36. high school: gonna be a junior next year aaaaa im Excited !!!

37. college: hopefully ?? or a conservatory would be nice hsjdjdj

38. hair color: my natural color is ugli brown ew gross,, but i’m gonna be dying it a rose gold at the end of the summer !! its basically pink tho who am i fooling

39. long or short hair: i have short hair sjssj but its so long rn i can put it up in a little ponytail if i wanted to oml

40. do you have a crush on someone: do i ?? do i not ??? i confuse myself too much

41. what do you like about yourself: i like how confident ive gotten in myself this past year,, like i can actually be myself nowadays and not feel like i have to act a certain way or live up to other people’s expectations

42. piercings: aha no last ones i had got infected so never again :::)

43. blood type: i ?? have no clue ??

44. nickname: hunter with weird accented vowels,, hoonter, dad don’t ask it happened at midnight on the band bus,,, husband also band bus antics

45. relationship status: im in love w my clarinets

46. zodiac: leoooo yeeeeeeeee

47. pronouns: he + him !!

48. favorite tv show: hskkhhd theres too many pls,, but agents of shield has been a long time fave

49. tattoos: AAAA i want so many i have a List,, i want a giant lion on my shoulder bc im a leo,, then i want a music note behind my ear (i want that to be my first tattoo) then stars and planets on my collarbones bc space man,, also wings on my back, my birthday as a barcode somewhere ?? havent decided where yet + a heart on the inside of one of my fingers

50. righty or lefty: righty !

FIRST...

51. surgery: havent had any yet but i will at some point

52. piercings: i had some in my ears but they became infected and gross and yea no piercings for me thank

53. sport: my parents tried to make me play soccer lmao

54. vacation: the first one i remembered was going to the outerbanks,, but supposedly we went to maine when i was a lil kid but i dont remember rip

55. best friend: we met in kindergarten and are still best friends today aaaaa

56. pair of sneakers: sketchers lmaoooo rip me

MORE GENERAL:

57. eating: i’m chewing gum ?? does this count ??

58. drinking: water

59. i’m about to: go write some angsty markhyuck ::)

60. listening to: colors by day6 um Emo

61. waiting for: something great to happen !!

62. want: everyone to get along ::(

63. get married: nahhh

64. career: something in music !!

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. hugs or kisses: both are cute aaaa

66. lips or eyes: both are v pretty aaaaa why

67. shorter or taller: i’ll probably be shorter than everyone anyways with my 5′ 3 ass

68. older or younger: doesnt matter to me !!

70. nice arms or nice stomach: one, both or neither wouldn’t matter to me

71. sensitive or loud: loud !!! but also sensitive ??

72. hookup or relationship: relationship shakjdsk

73. troublemaker or hesitant: a good balance between the two would be nice lmao

HAVE YOU EVER...

74. kissed a stranger: thank god i didnt wowie

75. drank hard liquor: i dont drink so,,

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: i lost my fake glasses lmao

77. turned someone down: many times yes

78. sex on the first date: uh no

79. broken someone’s heart: i really hope not ??

80. had your heart broken: nah

81. been arrested: nope nope

82. cried when someone died: i cried when my cat died ?

83. fallen for a friend: no.. ??

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...

84. yourself: yes !!

85: miracles: the concept is nice but idk

86. love at first sight: i believe that u can like the idea of someone at first sight,, but you cant love them at as a person since you don’t know them yet

87. santa claus: nah

88. kiss on the first date: i mean i guess ?? idk

89. angels: nope

OTHER

90. current best friend’s name: i have too many to just name one

91. eye color: brown yeee

92. favorite movie: either pacific rim or sunshine both golden

now to tag: @softptg @omgnille1010 @featureless-spy @makkeuga @iwriteblogpostsnotsongs @peurodyuseu @haechance @hyukhyuck