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#just. i always find myself thinking why cant i have a relationship like that?
pizzapizzadickz · 2 years
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mellotronmkll · 1 month
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I need to stop having one weird reaction with someone and then letting the anxiety decide in my head that the friendship is doomed because I ruined it like it's my absolute worst trait and I just have to move past it but it's hard
#i have to operate under the assumption that if people have an issue they will tell me but unfortunately this isnt true .#and it has happened to me in the past that i thought everything was ok because people were giving signals i wasnt picking up on#due to the autism so now im paranoid and constantly looking for signs i did something wrong and people are mad#and then i find them where they arent there which perversely does more to ruin a friendship than almost anything else#like the constant Are you mad at me... so i try to force myself not to do that and just#try to again assume that people arent however. im so worried about being blindsided Also of course i naturally dont want to make people#upset so if i am doing something wrong i want to change my behavior. however the fact its nuanced like#where you have to only do that a little bit and then take people at their word most of the time#fucking sucks like you actually are required in relationships to read peoples unspoken signals but you cant do that Too much#and if you misinterpet them its bad... but you cant ask for feedback too much because thats bad too. IT DOES MY HEAD IN actually like#it makes it so hard for me to interact with people because im just worried All of the time . and i have to be constantly like#ok check the facts and adjust behavior. check the facts and adjust behavior. make sure the facts are facts and not jumping to conclusions.#ok how do i do that . ok when do i ask directly. also people dont always tell the truth when you Do ask directly .#and then this is why my whole life i have mostly kept to myself and im trying to stop doing that but its hard because talking to others is a#puzzle for me that stresses me out more than anything else. man this sucksssssss can i just BE NORMAL!!!!!!#i know like Everyone has this problem its a common issue with relationships Communication but it feels especislly difficult for me .i#like cant fathom how other people manage very large numbers of friendships like even being able to count my close friends#on one hand i feel like im barely managing everything and im letting everyone down constantly but again i think thatsnonly my perception/#worry and not even true. god
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blueslight · 2 years
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#I domt think I made it clear enough to my now ex girlfriend that I broke up with her because she is absolutely unbearably clingy#and now.i feel guilty that she didnt get it cuz like until she realizes that all her relationships are gonna fail cuz any normal guy would#lose his fucking mind at her and anyone who WOULDNT would probably use her depedence to abuse her and like. I know that and i feel.bad for#evidently not making it clear enough to her#cause like also even now shes still being clingy with me ....and i find myself unable to set proper boundaries cause I dont wanna be mean#and them im morally unhappy with myself. but like then again i DO set boundaries she just doesnt respect them . and then I lose my#composure and get mean and thats even worse cuz i dont wanna be mean to someome as fragile as her but like. Shes suffocated me so much im#in the mindset of a cornered injured animal . and they bite#and it frustrates me that i cant react organically to her cause i always have to keep quiet and not protest even when she really crosses#my boundarjes cuz i dont wanna upset her#and she even said herself that even now im the omly.person she wants to talk to and i told her several.times to go talk to our other#friends cuz how am i supposed to comfort her about her breakup WHEN I DID THE FUCKING BREAKING UP..#plus I dont want that like i dont want the sole responsiblity for her social interactioms and emotional support just because shes#got unhealthy attachment behavior and refuses to get therapy ..#and like now its like well i domt wanna be mean or hurt her even more but also I dont wanna comfort my ex ABOUT *OUR* FUCKIMG BREAKUP that#is 1. fucked up EVEN THO we are still friends like id.comfort her about other stuff but how does she not realize that this wont. help#and 2. it gives me fuckin war flashbacks to my last relationship which just activates my injured animal instinct even further#and Idk why i cant set boundaries w her cuz i can do it well with other people but she just paralyzes me somehow w this stuff EVEN THO WE#GET ALONG WELL WHEN WERE LIKE NORMALLY PLATONICALLY INTERACRING#idk man i just need a fucking breather like i understand breakups hurt and i was anticipating giving her space until we can properly be#friends again (which we agreed on wanting) but like#Its not gonna get any better for her if shes constantly interacting w me#and on god her attachmenr to me isnt entirely healthy AND I DOMR WANNA SUPPORT HER UNHEALTHY BEHAVIORS but i also dont wanna be constantly#like acting on a meta level thinking whats besr for HER instead of just acting on instinct ...
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rowanhoney · 9 months
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#idk why I got hooked watching the couples therapy documentary#and it’s so interesting#but now I’m so glad I never let anything get serious that has so far come my way#I’ve had involvements with people and I’ve had my heartbroken aplenty.#but I don’t actually think any of those were losses#and I’m glad I’m picky af#god Pluto rly working hard on my Venus#i don’t think I’ve ever experienced the approach to my birthday with such high self esteem#this time of year usually destroys me#but rn idk i feel like a person who does have so much love and others can actually see it now#I don’t feel so hidden or misunderstood as I used to#and that always brought me such a fear that I would never find the people I want around me#and that id always feel out of place#but I’m feeling good I’m feeling secure!!!#and im so glad I’m picky . I’ve dated too many people who tear me down in the hopes I’d feel too low to leave them#and I’ve had people who I adored or had a really great ongoing rapport with.#who may have understood me fundamentally. but our attitudes were so misaligned and I couldn’t sacrifice my values like that#and also that I tend to attract and be drawn to people with substance abuse struggles when that is my trauma and one thing I cant cope with#im glad I’m a deeply reflective person and i understand myself and my situations so well actually#thinking again how I’ve seen friends in either unhealthy or senseless relationships and i just#am so grateful for my own strengths fr fr
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#i dont think im made for love because i fall into devotion too quick#it becomes worship i exalt before i fall or whatever and i set myself up for failure every time#self fulfilling prophecy and all that the usual#but i cant bare to actually imagine love in a reciprocal way#i feel like thats why i find myself ending up heartbroken by the best people#because they are the best and i have to ruin it bc i cant stand to let myself be happy#or more than that i cant imagine fathom believe whatever that someone could actually want me#and i get it im in the same boat buddy#and tbh idk if i even want someone to like me rn or if im just starved for attention#bc ik i cant offer anything real or substantion rn probably ever#thats the thing about devotion right i was born into some beliefs i cant shake#and nobody deserves to be second on someones list only beaten by the most contentious relationships i have#number 1 will always be whoever makes me cry the most ive come to realise#i spent a minute contemplating using the american vs british spelling of realize#this is the kind of neuroticism that straddles the line between quirky and unpleasent#unfortunately i dont have the pretty privilege to get away with being a great value manic pixie dream girl#which whatever i feel like im too anxious and self aware to be that carefree#but that doesnt mean i dont want the noise to fade to a gentle static#the last time it was quiet in my head it was when i could see a veritable sea of stars#next year i might spend the day in the woods or a field far out on the other side of texas#ill find the right time to see the right stars ill try to come back to see the ones i saw before#the universe collapsing in on itself thats what it feels like to be alive#but when i look up and i see the twinkling lights it settles the restless creature within me#stops it from clawing at the walls of my heart#it nestles in the thicket of my aortas and ventricles#it settles and finds temporary solace looking up at the stars with me#the stardust in my veins the one i share with every living creature a byproduct of being a child of the universe#it sings a song to us matching amplification but in antiphase to leave us in silence#well i wouldnt call it silence because thats the vaccuum of space#maybe its serenity maybe we find equilibrium in contextualization
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thecapricunt1616 · 3 months
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Nutmeg (Richie Jerimovich one-shot)
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𝒮𝓃𝒾𝓅𝓅𝑒𝓉 (𝑀𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝐵𝒯𝒞!): “Good girl” he praised as you closed your lips around his fingers, watching him as you swirled your tongue around them and bobbed your head making his cock twitch in his pants. “Such a little whore. Creamin’ in y’panties all day thinkin’ about me coming home and fucking you” he took his fingers and spread your lower lips, spitting on your clit and watching as it dripped down to the swell of your ass and disappeared.
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♡ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Richie comes home after a long day at the beef & takes care of you! ♡ 𝐖/𝐂: 2.2K+ ♡ 𝐀/𝐍: I thought this was a request but either I already answered it & cant find it but this is Daddy!Kink with Richie I hope we all enjoy! ♡ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐁𝐓𝐂: D!Word (main kink in this fic!), Smut, Swearing, Spanking, Agegap!Relationship,The Beef!Richie, Not edited (we die like men here)
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♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐑𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞 𝐎𝐧𝐞-𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝐓𝐁&𝐇𝐇 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐏𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡
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You and Richie had been seeing eachother for a good 7 months now. He was a good 12 years older then you, but you always loved dating men that were a bit older. They usually had it much more together and knew what they wanted, and they also loved taking care of their girls which was a must for any of your relationships.
He had given you the keys to his apartment, because he found out pretty early on he very much enjoyed coming home to see you on his couch watching one of your desperate housewives or dateline shows while you sipped on a glass of wine or two, or three depending how pink your cheeks were by the time he got in the door. 
Tonight was no different. Around 7:30 he called it quits and told Mikey goodnight, and when you heard his key in the door you were on the balls of your feet practically hopping to the door like a bunny. “Hey pretty girl” he said, dropping his keys on the hall table and wrapping his lean arms around you tightly, kissing your neck gently and giving you a loving squeeze. “How was y’day” he gives you a firm pat on the ass as he pulls away. 
“It was good. You smell like beef sandwiches” you teased, gently cupping the back of his head and pulling him in for a kiss. It was deep, and loving, and tasted like mint gum and cigarettes. He smoothed his palm up the small of your back 
“Mmhmm that’s why I need a shower” he said before pecking your lips one more time for good measure. You pouted a bit 
“No I didn’t say you smelt bad. Come snuggle stinky beef boy” you teased and he chuckled as you drag him by the hand over to the couch. 
“You know if I sit down you can’t get me back up unless it’s to bed so my stinky beef ass is gonna be all over you all night” he told you as you push him to sit and get settled comfy on his thighs, taking his chain out of his t’shirt and playing with it. 
“Who said I didn’t want that?” You rubbed your palm over his spiky short hair, kissing his forehead lovingly. “Did you have a good day?” You asked and he rested his head back on your hand, putting his hands over your ass and squeezing. 
“Same shit different day baby. I like these little shorts, mm? You should wear em’ more f’me when you come over” he plays with the glitter on the back of your ass where it read ‘PINK’ 
“Yeah?” You smiled a bit, gently tugging his chain. “I think you like anything so short it’s basically panties. That’s why I only wear em in the house” you joked and he hummed, reaching his hand under you and cupping your heat 
“You miss me today?” He asked in that quiet way that made your stomach flip and your heartbeat extend all the way down to your cunt. 
“I did. And I was sad when you told me you had no time for me this morning. Left me so wet. All day long. And I had work so I couldn’t even play with myself” you said and kiss just below his pulse point, he tuts, gently pressing down and rubbing back and forth over your clothed pussy. 
“I did that to my sweet girl? How rude is that mm? I should make it up to you, why don’t you lay down f’me princess” he said and you smiled as you did as he asked, lifting your hips so it was easier for him to slip your shorts and little cheeky panties off. The apartment was mostly dark, other then the glow of the TV and the light you always kept on above the stove- but neither of you could miss the dripping arousal. Just as he’d left you this morning, achingly wet and needy. 
You’d had a wet dream and by the time you woke up he was already in the shower for the day, and using your own fingers just made you more desperate. “Jesus - these are fuckin soaked babe, look at this” he scraped some of the creamy white arousal off of the fabric of your panties. “Open” he said and you did so, sticking your tongue out obediently. 
“Good girl” he praised as you closed your lips around his fingers, watching him as you swirled your tongue around them and bobbed your head making his cock twitch in his pants. “Such a little whore. Creamin’ in y’panties all day thinkin’ about me coming home and fucking you” he took his fingers and spread your lower lips, spitting on your clit and watching as it dripped down to the swell of your ass and disappeared. 
“Mhmm. Making a mess in my panties all day f’you daddy” you pull him to you, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him in for a kiss. “Are you gonna stretch me out with your big cock? Please daddy?” You asked in a sultry voice and he nearly groaned. Before he’d met you, he had no idea he had such a kink. But the first time it slipped out of your mouth he couldn’t stop himself from spilling inside of you within a few minutes. 
“So fuckin filthy” he pushed your hair back off your forehead in that gentle soft way that gave you chills, tucking it behind your ear and cupping your cheeks. “Get on y’knees. Wanna fuck your face a little first.” He said and you giggled in delight, getting on your knees in front of him and looking up at him with sparkly bedroom eyes. 
“I love sucking you, daddy” you said and stuck your nose in the fabric of his tented track pants, inhaling the heady scent of precum and a tinge of sweat from his long day in the kitchen. “Mm” you hum, eyes closing as you kiss his tip through the fabric 
“I can tell, practically droolin’ already hmm?” He took pulled himself out for you, tugging you back by your hair in his fist to look at him. “Open that pretty mouth” he said and you grinned, opening wide and sticking your tongue out, eyes closing. He took his cock and slapped your tongue a few times with it, brushing your cheekbone with his thumb as he thrusted into your mouth. You moaned at the taste of him, slightly salty and a tinge of sweet. 
“Dreamin’a’this fuckin mouth all day” he eases your head down inch by inch, relishing in the gagging and slurping noises you made when your nose brushed his pelvis, cock jammed nearly half down your throat. “Swallow-“ he pushed your head down further and you squeeze your eyes shut, swallowing around him best you could and he pulled you off by your hair so you could breathe for a moment, gagging and coughing as his cock is pulled from your throat and strings of saliva connecting the two of you for a moment. 
“That’s my good girl, so messy, such a good whore f’daddy aren’t you” he said as you looked up at him while jerking his cock over your face with watery eyes and a drooly chin. 
“Yes daddy- only yours- wan’more” you said and opened your mouth, pushing yourself down and resting your hands on his thighs as you shut your eyes and tried to force yourself down how he did but gagging and pulling yourself back “I need help” you pout adorably 
“Aw, You need help baby? Here let daddy help you” he said in a nearly mocking tone and eased your head down, gripping your hair when your nose brushed the curly dark patch of hair at the base of his cock and letting out a grunt. “So fuckin warm and perfect - god. Second best to your cunt. Best fuckin feeling in the world” his head drops back as he essentially uses your throat as a fucktoy by pushing and pulling you off of his cock by your hair tightly pulled back in a ponytail in his fist. 
Filthy salacious noises were pulled from your throat, spit dripping out of the corners of your mouth and down your chin as he was surely bruising your esophagus but any time you eat and drink over the next 3 days you’ll be sweetly reminded of being on your knees for your favorite man. He realizes one of your hands missing and slows his movements of your head that he was still controlling as he follows it down. “Are you fuckin touchin’ y’self? Holy shit.” He pulls you off his cock 
“Have you cum yet?” He demands and you quickly shake your head 
“Just touching- promise. I stopped when it felt too good I swear” you said, hoping he wasn’t too upset. 
“Get up” he ordered and with the help of the couch due to your wobbly knees you stood, looking up at him. “Y’r a fuckin mess. You know that?” He pats your cheek “bend over” he ordered and you smiled, happily bending yourself over the arm of the couch and resting your stomach so your legs wouldn’t have to do all the work. “Tryna fuckin take orders at work and all I can think about is how you look on your knees chokin and droolin’ on my cock” he said as he lined himself up, thrusting into you. 
You whined hotly, gripping the couch cushion while he gripped your hips with a bruising pressure, again, instead of thrusting himself- using his arms to slam you back onto his cock, the wet loud sound of your skin clapping together filling the room, that and your porn-like whining. “F-feels so good daddy. Missed you- ah! - Missed you so much!” You cry out when his tip ruts into that spongey yummy spot inside, gushing white cream around his cock. 
He spread your cheeks in awe, watching as his cock pumped in and out of you surrounded by pretty white sticky cream “y’make such a mess mm? Such a nasty little girl” he spanks you hard enough to leave a handprint and you yelp, biting down on your lip to deal with the sting, your walls clenching around him on impact. 
“S-sorry daddy- just feels so good- you make me feel so good can’t help it” you gasp as he forces your legs apart further and starts to rub your clit, alternating between slow and quick circles that matched the force of his thrusts and the mix of that was causing you to see stars and drool on the couch cushion you were leaning on due to the fact that you were so slack jawed your tongue was nearly falling out of your mouth. 
“Look at that- fucked you stupid already and I’ve barely gotten through with you huh? Who else can fuck you this good baby tell me” he spanks you for your attention and you whimper, your orgasm not far behind 
“You- you - only you daddy, no one else I swear!! Please- please fill me up- cum in my pussy pretty please daddy” you whine out and you felt his cock twitch inside of you. He groaned, leaning over you and wrapping his arms around your front, holding your tits steady as he starts to snap his hips faster 
“Yeah- that’s fuckin right I own this pussy- gonna fill you up princess don’t worry, I always fill up my favorite girl hmm?” He said against the shell of your ear, before giving a kiss to your temple. “You close Angel? I wanna feel you milking my cock when I fill up this tight fuckin pussy mm? Give you every last drop” he said and you felt your legs start to quiver, your toes curling into the carpet. 
Your thighs were painted with your white creamy arousal, neck was wet with saliva and spit. Every thrust was drawing a soft uh uh uh uh from your throat as he drilled you into the cushion of the couch, using one hand to play with a peaked nipple under one of his the beef shirts you stole from his laundry pile, and the other to rub your clit messily as he was so close to his own high. “C-cumming” you warn and within a few thrusts your walls were spasming around him, your eyes rolling back behind your lids and biting the pillow as you nearly scream ‘fuck’ 
“God- pussys fuckin suckin me in baby- shit-“ Richie breathes as he finishes inside of you, warmth filling your belly and core, a small smile filming on your lips. 
“So good- so good. Love you daddy feel so good” you ramble, completely fucked out.  “Love you babydoll, now I think we both smell like Italian sandwiches” he teased
Fin
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epiicaricacy-arts · 1 month
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without the sour the sweet wouldn’t taste
why are you as a man eating another man’s ear after you failed to make him eat his ex girlfriend. 🤨🏳️‍🌈⁉️
im allowed a bit of toxic yaoi. as a treat
process discussion utc ⬇️
for those familiar with my work you’ll know that i like trying a lot of new styles and experimenting in order to achieve a certain vibe. usually those are heavy painterly styles such as the sunday art inspired by Yuming Li, which is what i’m familiar and comfortable with, both traditionally and digitally
what im NOT familiar with is watercolour. i’ve never had a good time with it 🥲 i just cant seem to wrap my head around the process since its requires me to work backwards (light to dark vs dark to light)
for this piece i just couldn’t imagine myself rendering it in my usual style. i needed to do something new so that i’d stay invested enough in the piece considering that it has two people, meaning double the work. for some reason i thought it’d be fun to do double the work with a style i am completely uncomfortable with but oh well!! i managed to do it 🤷‍♀️ i was specifically looking at the works of Ko Byung Jun, an artist i’ve seen all over my pinterest feed
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while i didn’t end up really following the style super closely i still learned quite a lot just by looking at it while i drew. i tried my best to stick to watercolour brushes and an ink pen but as i was nearing the end i needed to make some alterations that i wasn’t bothered to try fixing with the watercolour brushes so i just went over it with my digital ones 🫡 i did my best that’s what matters!!!
i had to repaint rody a few times cause i just couldn’t get it right and the colours never ended up matching vincent. i painted them separately and i think i got possessed while painting vincent cause it happened in like. 40 minutes. and i couldn’t get it to happen again 😔 it didn’t really matter cause i ended up going ham with the curves tool as always but you know 🤷‍♀️
here’s the image without all the effects:
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i find lately it’s been more and more common for me to be sketching several iterations of a concept for days, even weeks before i land on something i like. i have an entire separate canvas that i’ve spent 5 hours just doing thumbnails trying to figure out how i wanted to pose these two in a way that would showcase the characteristics that mattered in the story of this piece.
that’s my process for coming up with drawings: i find inspiration somewhere, i figure out the key concepts/characteristics/symbols etc i want highlighted, and i work around those. sometimes i have a composition in mind or just a general vibe i want to portray. for this one i wanted to make sure the towel, rody’s injured finger and vincent’s face could all be clearly seen, while also portraying the fight scene and the vibe i get from the reference song. almost all of my work revolves around a specific lyric from the song which drives the story of the piece. here i interpreted the line “without the sour the sweet wouldn’t taste” as a connection to all the little actions vince takes with rody that can be seen as “sweet.” drying rody’s hair, bandaging rody’s cut. i then asked myself how i could take those actions and make them “sour” or show them in a different light, in which vince is biting the finger he bandaged and pulling rody closer, preventing his escape with the towel he used to dry his hair. what im trying to communicate in this illustration is the idea of “if it weren’t for how i’m treating you now, you wouldn’t understand how kind i was to you then” in an attempt to illustrate the complexities of the way vincent acts towards rody.
i’m truly in love with the story telling of this game. it’s hard to really say anything about how the characters acted during the story because it’s so complex in how it’s done. it’s very hard to summarize their relationship because there’s so much about it i can’t explain without just quoting the game directly. i think it’s such a beautiful portrayal of obsession and just being fucking weird about someone. i wanted to ensure the elements i mentioned in the above paragraph because i didn’t want to be portraying vincent as solely a villain and rody as a victim. i wanted the storytelling of this one illustration to live up to my impression of this beautiful game and i hope i did it justice.
thank you for reading this if you’ve made it this far. i love rambling on all my art posts cause i think it’s so valuable for artists to expand on their work outside of the result alone. i hope what im saying is at most helpful to someone and at the very least a good read. i’m probably gonna take a bit of an art break after this since it took a lot out of me, plus im on the last days of my trip. thank you again for reading!
here’s my dog
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baby enemies to lovers stories? i loveeee them, dont know whats wrong with me bestie
nothing is wrong with you babe, you just have taste!
I'm a sucker for a good enemies to lovers story too so dkjhjshdf I'm so happy for this! Anyway let's begin!
My forever and always favorite enemies to lovers story is "404" by my beloved @freedomfireflies When I say I need 404!harry, I couldn't mean it more! I had a dream about him for real 😭 It's so well written and you can literally feel the tension between the two characters. 404!harry is my baby and I want to put him in my pocket and have him there forever. It's everything you could ask for in a story with that trope. 🙌 😍 (personal fav: a-mazing and jealous - I was on my knees)
Also please do yourself a favor and read @harrys-titties "Harry's a dick and Y/N hates him for it". It's really amazing! The way she built their relationship was precious 🥰 And I loved that Harry's best friend was Sarah, it was a beautiful touch. When you will start reading it, you will find yourself unable to put it down. (um also I have the "y/n and harry hate each other, until they don't" in my "to read list" and I'm sure it will be amazing)
Additionally "grumpy h" by my favorite @cupid-styles is *chef's kiss* seriously. I really liked how their dynamic began to change and they were so soft for each other 😇 so cute 🥰 Oh and I almost forgot it! "You're my last shot" is an enemies to lovers story too and believe me it's so sweet, I loved it. I was reading the blurbs until 3 AM in the morning hehe 😇
Of course it's not a proper rec list for enemies to lovers stories if I don't mention "aster" by @moonchildstyles ! It is really good! Like reallyyy good😍 It's the cutest thing ever hdshgjghshjg Now I'm thinking about it, I will reread it 😍 I was obsessed with this the first time I read it.
Also "Ballerina Y/N and Ballerina Harry" by @jawllines ! Oh my God, it's so good! Actually I can't express how good it is, words aren't enough! I just love it. I started rereading it actually the other day and I couldn't stop myself. I have a soft spot for it 😇 Their chemistry is everything! 😍 The characters are amazing and Y/N is a queen! Also Ballerina!Harry is exactly my type so 😇
@be-with-me-so-happily has a great enemies to lovers story too! "Not what we bargained for" is freaking good 😍 Had a great time reading it!
Oh and of course "Harry is Y/N's producer & she doesn't like him" and "Y/N & Harry kind of hate each other but have to walk together in their friends' wedding party" by @0nlythrowharrybeaux ! Her stories are so addictive 😍 Her writting has an incredible flow 😍
One last thing: it's not actually a story but @justlemmeadoreyou ' headcanons are crazy and I guarantee you that the mean!friends with benefits!harry headcanons are so f*cking hot 😱check them out 😍 (also she's making a series based on them, part 1 is out and I'm telling you it's so good! Cant' wait for the next part! - it may be a friends with benefits trope but they started as enemies, they didn't like each other much so yeah that's why I put it here)
I'm 100% sure I'm forgetting many other stories I would love to include in this but I can't think of anything else right now sorry 😭 If something else comes up to my mind, I will add it ❤️ Enjoy ❤️
P.S always grateful to the authors 😊
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olderthannetfic · 4 months
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Have been having such a time lately trying to commit to this fic im writing because it's. Incredibly cathartic and is the start of me finally starting to explore the concepts im ashamed of being fascinated by.
Mpreg jokes have become so ubiquitous that it feels like people just roll their eyes or look at me like im a weirdo for trying to take the idea seriously? not just as a physical reality for the m getting pregged in question, but also as an Emotional reality for the character. Pregnancy and pregnant characters are still treated So fucking weirdly in General, and. i understand people having a trigger related to it, thats not what im talking about ofc, but at the same time its like. Its Pregnancy. Its how Life happens. And men irl Can and DO get pregnant. Even men that dont "look like" they would enjoy it. It's always "dont pigeon hole effeminate men as bottoms/omegas/subs!!" Until someone comes out and actually wants to see and read about The Most Stereotypical Guy to ever Dude experiencing 1.) what it means to be a vessel for life, and 2.) How that changes the way people will treat him.
Bc! as soon as i bring it up, no matter how tactfully and Chaste i try to be about it, the atmosphere in the conversation always Shifts, and there's this feeling that everyone just wants me to shut up and stop being a pervert because the mere premise makes them uncomfortable. Like im sorry thinking about men in fiction undergoing women's lived reality gives me a way to articulated an understanding of what it means to be capable of having a child (all the good, bad, and ugly parts of it) that is still not otherwise allowed in Polite Discussion irl, even in the closest of relationships??
Ill keep writing it for sure but like. The shame is rearing its head and im trying to fight it my getting Mad at the pervasive (and probably just perceived) puritanical judgements dished out my the rest of the world, instead.
Why is the idea of pregnancy never taken seriously. Why is it always shoved in a corner to be ignored till it Happens and its Forced into relevance. And then why is it treated as pointless or worse just straight up Bad if it isn't "done right"/arousingly/humorously while being relevant, either on the character's part Or the author's?
It's getting better more and more with time but im just. Wracking my brain about it today. I cant stop thinking about it, its all i want to talk about, but even In my nicest and most opem circles i can feel people pulling away, and all i can think is its because im doing it to the Wrong character (major macho man villian with a Lot of daddydom themed xreaders...) or something. and its so hard not to let myself get discouraged 👽
--
A lot of my fandom circles act like that, and it's because all pregnancy is somewhere between a massive squick and massively boring to them.
I find pregnancy more interesting now that I've experienced it, but I was definitely like "Why would anyone ever talk to me about this?" before, and it wasn't about picking the wrong character.
Some things are just unpopular with some audiences. Try not to get too discouraged.
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justastraymoa · 20 days
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ADVENTURES WITH CHEESE EXTENDED EDITION PT 10
Im lost. Hopelessly lost with a cat in a bag on my shoulder looking at me like I am the dumbest person on the planet. And honestly, I feel like I am right now.
How do I go out for a simple walk around the neighborhood with my cat and get lost for hours. And my phone is dying on top of it all!
There is no way I could call the boys. I would never live it down. And I mean never. Plus how were they supposed to help me if I didn’t even know where I was? I couldn’t even find a street sign to give me a hint of where I was.
And im tired, hungry, have no more water, and didn’t bring any money because it was supposed to be a short walk. Only I could get myself into situations like this.
If I use my phone to get a map up, I will kill the battery and I didn’t think to pull a map up earlier when I had more battery, because why would I do that? Why would I be smart enough to do that?
Honestly when I get back to the apartment, I am just never going to leave it again. It wasn’t worth it and I am apparently too dumb to go out on my own anyways. Maybe I could flag down a police officer or something if I see one. They may be able to at least put me in the right direction if they wouldn’t give me a courtesy ride because of Cheese.
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When I finally saw the boys, it was almost completely dark. The streetlights were already on and no one was walking around anymore. I was so relieved I felt my stupid eyes start to stupidly tear up. Stupid.
Binnie walked up to me and wrapped his arms around my head so I could hide my face in his chest while the emotions passed. I held onto him tightly. Someone tugged Cheese away from me at some point, most likely Lino. And there were several rubs and pats as we stood there.
“Lets get your dumb ass home.” Lino sighed. I just nodded, thankful yet again for all 4 of them. And for the terrible circumstances that lead me to meeting and befriending them in the first place.
Once at home I was deposited directly into a chair and a large glass of ice water was placed in front of me. I drank a few gulps before forcing myself to slow down so I didn’t get sick. That would be the perfect end to this perfect night. Praying over the porcelain bowl because I drank too much water too fast.
I was lucky enough to work from home most of the time. The occasional meeting forced me to go in and work trips, but 90% of the time I spent working from my bedroom or the living room couch or the dining table. Kind of wherever I felt like sitting and a lot of the times I sat at all places throughout the day, just for a change of scenery.
The boys worked from home occasionally, when they could. I always knew when one of them was home because Cheese would abandon me for someone else. Always excited to have someone new to cuddle and bug all day. Also, he knew the boys would give him treats. I was the strict parent in this relationship. But he was still a mama’s boy at heart, so I was okay with it.
Today it was Bin who was working from home. From the dining table by the sounds of it. I could hear him talking to both himself and Cheese. And could also hear the occasional thump of something falling as Cheese was a turd because Bin wasn’t paying enough attention to him. Spoiled child that he is.
I stayed at my desk, both relieved to not be bothered and distracted by Cheese and lonely because Cheese was not here cuddling and distracting me. It was an odd combination. I would probably join Bin at the dining table later just to not feel so lonely. However, for now I had 30 emails on a crisis that popped up overnight that needed attending to.
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I laughed out loud as I heard Bin go into Linos room and start to look around for the sling bag. He must be desperate enough to risk Linos wrath.
“I can lend you my makeshift sling. It works just fine!” I called.
“He cant just gatekeep all the good stuff and expect to get away with it! It’s the principle of the thing!” He called back. There was a crash as something was knocked over.
“He is going to kill you for going through his stuff!”
“He wouldn’t.”
I raised my eyebrows and waited for that to sink into Bins head.
“You will save me right. He is a softie for you.” I eventually heard him say.
I scoffed doubtful that Lino was a ‘softie’ for anyone. Except maybe his cats. He was soft for them. Humans though, me included, he was not soft for. “I will try.” I promised nothing more.
Later that night, hours after everyone had gone to bed for the night, there was a high pitched scream that tore me from my peace.
On instinct I ran from the room. Bins door was open and I could see Lino standing over his bed with a very creepy, very psychotic smile on his face in the dark room. The only light source from the hallway nightlight.
(A/N: I picture something like this look)
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“I see you went into my room.” Lino stated lowly, face not losing an inch of psychotic.
My body sagged as I realized what had happened. Lino was getting his revenge. In a very Lino way.
“Im sorry.” Bin said lowly.
Beside me Chan laughed quietly. “He spent all evening trying to figure out how to get back at him for tearing the room apart.”
Hyune didn’t even look like he woke up, let alone looked to see why Bin had screamed like a little girl in the middle of the night.
I rolled my eyes and went back to bed, pulling Cheese closer to rub my face on his soft fur and hear his purring as I drifted off.
A/N: And here we are with part 10. Honestly every time I do another one of these I have so much fun but I also wonder how the heck this even happened. How the heck did I turn a bunch of random pinterest cats into Cheese and create a whole ass cat. And all because I love black cats and have had several of my own that vie for the braincell of orange cats on occasion.
Anyways enjoy! See you next time
Skz + pets masterlist
Taglist: @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor
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reidmania · 10 months
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heyyy I saw your fanfic about the mental health and depression things and I would loveeee if you would write one about the reader self harming and Miguel finds out and comforts them🧡 I’ve struggled with self harm and depression and your fics help so much!
JUST HOLD ON
miguel o’hara
summary; miguel’s heart breaks when he finds out what you do to yourself
warnings; mentions of self harm, comfort, swearing, could be very poorly written and im so so so sorry if it is xx
an; thank you for requesting, i want to remind everyone that i am in NO WAY romanticising self harm or mental health problems, i wanted to make this series to help people who dont have somewhere to go or someone to talk to, these are purely just comfort fics
i also want to say, youre not alone, and i know self harm is a coping mechanism for many, myself included, but there is so many other healthy ways to cope and i want everyone to know that if you ever ever ever need anybody to talk to, im always here and i want to do my best to make sure youre all okay.
long sleeves, jumpers, scafs, bandaids, bracelets. you were always wearing one or the other. miguel never asked why, he thought maybe you just found it more comfortable.
the entire time you and miguel had been dating, and in a relationship, it had been the cold seasons of the year, and now with summer coming in quick, you were stressing.
miguel isn’t stupid, he would wonder why you’re wearing a jumper or a long sleeve in ridiculous heat, he would question it, and that set you off in a panic.
it was fine, during the day when miguel was at the HQ doing his spider business, but when he got home, your mind went crazy.
although, to you, you did a good job hiding it.
“im home!” miguel says, your eyes widen as you get off the couch quickly, “one sec!” you reply, running up to your bedroom to get a jumper, quickly throwing on the first one you can find, you go back to meet miguel.
you wrap your arms around him, he does the same, squeezing you tightly. “how was your day?” you ask, as you let go of him, walking to the kitchen to start with dinner.
“not bad.. newbies are always rough” miguel says softly, leaning against the wall in the kitchen. “baby” he says softly.
you hum in response, occupied by cutting vegetables. “why do you have the AC on, while wearing a jumper?” he wasn’t mad, he was genuinely just wondering.
regardless you freak, trying to come up with an explanation, “my top half was cold” you say, shrugging.
miguel laughs, “do you need some help?” he says, leaning off of the wall to come up next to you,
“yes, boil some water”
miguel wasn’t stupid. he knew you better then he knew himself, and he knew your top half was always hotter then your bottom half, you were always wearing pants and rubbing your sleeves over your legs.
so he was confused.
it had been like this for a while now, little things would concern miguel but he didn’t want to bring them up, incase they were nothing.
today was weird though, while you were still asleep, in bed, miguel had to get ready for the day, looking in the laundry for a pair of socks, he finds one of your tshirts.
he ignored it at first, before he saw the red stains along the sleeves, his mind first went to, ‘that time of the month’ but you don’t get that in your arm.
he frowns, confused. deciding to figure it out later.
“lyla, do you know whats up with y/n” he asks softly, trying to stay focused on his work, but concern filled his body.
“what do you mean” she asks back, miguel sighs. “tell a soul, and i will literally end your existence” he says, “okok! just say it”
“i don’t think ive ever seen y/n’s arms”
“you think she doesn’t have arms?”
“no- shut up. like shes always wearing long sleeves, or jumpers, or her wrists are covered in bracelets.”
“oh miguel” lyla frowns. “what- what does that mean”
“obviously i cant be 100% sure, i don’t know personally, but it very much could be her trying to hide something..” she says.
“what?” miguel asks, shaking his head “hide what?”
“this isn’t my place to tell, just talk to her”
when miguel came home that evening, he was even more confused and concerned then he was when he left in the morning. he called out, but didn’t get a response, he hums.
he finds you in the living room, asleep on the couch, he smiles softly before he notices your arm.
no long sleeve, no jumper, no bracelets.
his eyes widen as he looks at the blood stains on your arm, the tissue in your other hand, covered in blood. if it was just one miguel would just assume it was an accident.
but he sees it, all of it, the numerous scas, fresh and old cuts, he can feel his stomach drop. next to the paper he finds a small razor, he picks it up quickly, throwing it out before he comes back, taking a deep breath.
“y/n” he says softly, you were a light sleeper, “mm?” you reply, until something must of clicked in your brain.
you sit up quickly, pulling you arm to your chest, youre pale like you have seen a ghost, miguel is heartbroken.
“come with me” he says softly, you pause for a minute as he starts walking, but when he turns around to you, you stand up and follow him.
into your bedroom, he tells you to sit on the bed, before he goes into the bathroom for a moment. “miguel- im sorry” you finally say.
he doesn’t reply, coming out with a first aid kit, kneeling on the ground in front of you. wiping your arm, so damn gently.
he continues to clean and bandage your arm, without saying anything before he sits next to you on the bed.
you have tears in your ears, and a yuck feeling in your stomach, “come here” miguel says, lifting you onto his lap, facing him, he wraps his arms around you.
“im sorry, miggy”
“don’t apologise baby, you don’t have to feel bad about this okay? you have done nothing wrong”
“i-“
“i want you to know, im here, im going to be here regardless of what happens, okay? this isn’t healthy, baby. but i know its a coping mechanism for you, we just gotta find a healthier one, together yeah?”
“yeah” you say softly, buried in his neck.
“i hate knowing you’ve been hurting yourself baby, someone is hurting my special girl, and i had no idea” he says, looking at you as he moves your hair behind your ear.
you frown, as you look up at him. “no more” you say.
“no more” he agrees.
“i want you to promise me, that if you need me or ever think about doing it again, you will get me straight away, i don’t care whats happening or what im doing, youre my priority, always”
“i love you miggy, i promise”
“i love you too, cmon, lets get you changed then watch allll the rom coms you want” he says, kissing your face.
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saintobio · 4 months
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HELLOOO FINALLY GOT TO SEND AN ASK!!!
first of allllll…. i think the time momjo sending the child guardian paper (?) that satoru typed out of anger is a hint…. and then satoru telling yn that sachiro called akemi mama… this honestly hurts alot more, imahine carrying your baby for 9 months, taking care of baby sachiro for 3 years alone, all the sleepless nights… and sachiro just ugh u dumbass small brain toddler (literally). anyways, satoru looking at akemi during suguru and shoko’s wedding, his hand rubbing akemi’s stomach at the cabin when she was in pain. honestly this part was akemi faking her pain or…? cuz there was a line that said after satoru asked if she wanted to go home her face didnt show anymore pain ? lololll idk. i dislike (hate) gojokemi but i think theyre gonna be endgame with all these theories coming up oh godddd. and the way yn threw the necklace into the lake, satoru went to search for it but did he manage to find it ? no. but during sn yn (well, suguru) found gojos wedding band. so in sy, yn threw away satoru’s “heart”, and it was never found again, thats a hint (?) bruhhh i hate thissss (i love this so much actually it made me feel so much i love u saint) i also recall the first time satoru and akemi first did it together he said smthg like i could learn to love u ? if i remember correctly. and the morning at the cabin after yn and gojo did it, yn was crying bcs they had a heartfelt talk ? and u mentioned they both felt guilty. the guilt is…. yeah.
BUT ALSO, satoru once said that yn has always been the one, sera when she saw gojo after forever told sukuna that he looks different when hes being with akemi, like hes not being himself? but that was when they first got together so idk about now. him not calling gojokemi exclusive. oh how they were happy and loving when yn got pregnant 🥹 but well it lasted until… yeah. also u said something about gojo gonna be on his knees again, since yn is now depressed and suicidal, i think for her heart disease shes gonna sign a DNR, then satoru on his knees maybe begging the doctors idk gawd idk someone mentioned dnr and i just… 🙂 its not that she wanna leave sachiro either, but i think shes telling herself everything will be better if she dies since sachiro, still very young, doesnt even really remember yn (just why sachiro) and called akemi mama… also why the hell didnt gojo use protection when fucking akemi oh gawd pls hate u satoru if she gets preggo.
anyways, i cant wait for gen to be back. i love u gen and ian.
oooh i also remember that you said there was a scene that inspired the birth of sn/sy, was it in chapter 11 ? or we’re not there yet…
honestly why dont yn just join shoko and suguru and be in a happy poly relationship ever looollll just kidding. my heart hurts, im still all in for gojoyn endgame but it doesnt seem realistic. ive been cursing gojo and akemi ever since the chapter came out loolll gotta give myself credit for being able to do my exams while still thinking bout this. 💀
omg there’s a lot to unfold here idk where to start 😭 but i just wanna say, it’s amazing how you’re so thorough in remembering those details in sn/sy bcos i honesty don’t have enough attention span to do that !!! sdjsj now while i can’t answer everything you mentioned, i can say a few things:
- akemi isn’t faking her pain, she’s truly struggling from it
- gojo doesn’t want kids outside of marriage (or should i say if not with yn), so he’s definitely careful with it.
- yes, it is indeed sy11 that birthed the sequel :’) i had that scene in mind before sn was even finished
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cloudysarts · 1 year
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All right I take the bait. Why do you believe Manel should have accompanied Pacifica at the party
AHHH THANK YOU IM SO EXCITED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF (in reference to this post)
ok. northwest mansion mystery is a great episode obviously. but HERES why i think the episode would've been even better if mabel was in dippers spot!!!!!! its kinda a lot so i put it under a read more
so this episode is sort of the middle-ish of season 2 i think, right before the ford reveal!! its not a super long show anyway so theres not a ton of pacifica appearances, anyway. BUT in EVERY SINGLE OTHER PACIFICA EPISODE, her energy has been bouncing off of mabel!!! from their meeting in double dipper, to irrational treasure, to golf war; they have been established as the main dynamic here. golf war is especially important here, because this is the very first step in pacfica's redemption arc! mabel saves her in this episode, the pines give her a ride home, and it seems like pacifica is going to start being a little more understanding of mabel because she had misjudged her, hence why she was treating her so poorly. it looks like theyre gonna establish a friendship between them!
and then. they dont. they basically never interact again. because the next time we see pacifica, she goes straight to dipper in northwest manor mystery. the cold open implies that the northwests wanted dipper specifically because of his knowlege of how to deal with the supernatural but IN MY OPINION that DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE because we NEVER see dipper fighting these monsters on his own? hes ALWAYS with mabel. at the very least, i think it shouldve been BOTH of them??? we see a brief shot of a newspaper clipping where dipper is fighting a vampire bat or something and i just. when did this happen. where is mabel
that would be a fine argument for it being both of them instead of just mabel so heres one of my bigger points thats gonna come back a lot in this breakdown: dipper. does not like pacifica. he STRAIGHT UP HATES HER. every single interaction theyve had has been negative!!! its even massively negative at the beginning of this ep!!!! though mabel often dislikes pacifica, she TRIES REALLY HARD TO LIKE HER. mabel has a lot of love in her heart, and if she could, shed want to be her friend!!! its always been pacifica whos been rejecting those advances!!! golf war was the start of pacifica understanding that about mabel, and it nmm wouldve been the PERFECT time to wrap up that arc, rather than leaving it!!!
and i would argue that could STILL LEAD INTO A DIPCIFICA ARC, if thats what the showrunners/fans wanted? most of why dipper hates pacifica to begin with is because shes so terrible to mabel. he only agrees to go to the party in canon because MABEL wants to!!! imo, i think the lead in to them being a couple would be a million times better if that massive problem in their relationship was solved first
i dont PERSONALLY like dipcifica but im trying to stay unbiased about this if you cant tell
i would also argue that like. dipper just seems really out of character. the reason i picked some of the scenes i did for my redraws, was because they were scenes that i think his behavior would fit mabel a lot better. examples:
why do the northwests have a suit in dippers size anyway. he literally doesnt even like wearing it sjkfhkj in a potential re-write of this ep, i considered that mabel would come in wearing her super extravagent home made dress, and it would 'violate dress code', so she would be forced to wear one of pacificas we could still have that cute dress-up expo scene that we do AND have some fun commentary/symbolism about pacifica being nervous about having her in the dress because its NICE and TOO GOOD FOR HER and she looked FINE BEFORE ANYWAY
mabels empathy is a recurring theme in the show. shed WANT to give pacifica the benefit of the doubt, and would be VERY betrayed when finding out her and her family already knew about the ghosts and knew what he wanted. i understand that dipper was so upset because it seemed like pacifica was changing for the better just to find out that she wasnt, but i think this fits so much better with mabel, because shes always WANTED to believe that shes secretly a good person. she would be glad to see her turn a corner, and would be upset when finding out she was 'wrong', and that she really was mean deep down. whcih would obviously lead to her comforting her later/finding out the truth about her etc etc. on the other hand, dipper literally never believed she had good in her. from the first interaction we see of them, he thinks shes as terrible as her family. he ISNT as interested in giving her the benefit of the doubt and if it wasnt a life or death situation i dont think he wouldve forgiven her. IDK i just think its more in character for her
the dancing scene!!! honestly this works fine as is (i can see both dipper and mabel being excited to make a mess on a fancy carptet) but idk i just think it carries so much more weight if its these two girls. silly moments for mabel!!!! pacifica getting to really be a kid and not just a sparkly prop!!!!!!! pacifica finally indulging in her sillyness that she mocked in irrational treasure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok moving on. one of the bigger things that bother me about it being dipper here instead of mabel is one teeny tiny (honestly really irrational) scene at the party. in it, dipper is confronted by fiddleford, who tells him he has big news about the author/the laptop and the towns in danger and its vitally important and dipper just. shrugs him off???!!?!?!?! i cannot even IMAGINE. in alex hirschs words "the first season is about dipper being in love with wendy, and the second is about him being in love with the author" meaning that. those are the TWO things that dipper is completely and totally obsessed with. hes clearly not over wendy (as we see in later episodes) and this is not long after sock opera/society of the blind eye so youd THINK hed be more depserate for answers than ever!??!?! this child was willing to sell out his great uncle and raise the dead and stay up for several nights in a row for answers, and the second he is offered some (from a man who WORKED WITH THE AUTHOR btw) hes like like 'whatevr'?!?!?! it is so out of character and it drives me fucking nuts every time. i know hes starting to like pacifica now but as we see in the comics (if you chose to think those are canon) HE DOESNT EVEN SEEM TO LIKE HER THAT MUCH!??!?! hes STILL convinced shes vain, and mean, and selfish!!!! he DOES start to have a little arc with her but jksdfjksf IDK i just cant in a million years see him passing up the chance for answers to the biggest mystery in gravity falls to hang out with a girl he tolerates
but yknow who i CAN see doing that? MABEL!!!!!!!! mabel would be concerned when mcgucket comes up to her, and starts talking like this!!!! i can totally see her suggesting that he relax for a little while and enjoy the party like dipper did, and then forgetting to come back to talk/not running into him later!!!! ESPECIALLY since i can see mabel WANTING to spend time with pacifica where dipper just. really doesnt seem to want to MOST of the time
ok ill admit that this last one is sort of a personal opinion. but i just. i really dont like the B plot of this episode with mabel and the girls. IDK its just so annoying and pointless to me to have a plot where its just a bunch of girls turning against each other over a guy. im not gonna say its mysoginistic bc i know little girls can be boy crazy but i just. dont see why there was a need to make them fight/turn against grenda briefly??? even when they rekindled and it was all ok in the end its just. in comparison to the A plot its so. Nothing.
in my head i have a rewrite of this episode and how it goes is that pacifica approaches dipper and asks for help and he turns it down (like he does in canon). mabel suggests that they do it anyway, but he refuses, as he wants nothing to do with her. when dippers gone, mabel agrees to help (and pacifica begrudgingly accepts bc it seems like the only option) and so she steals the journal when dippers not looking. she goes to the party, and events go pretty much the same?? only major difference i can think of is that the B plot is replaced by one where dipper realizes mabel and the journal are missing, so he sneaks into the manor/sneaks around the house trying to find he rand get it back (and its so massive he has no luck). the reason i think THAT works is because we can even still have the scene where dipper turns to wood like shifty prophesied!!!! and i would even argue it makes more sense this way because wasnt shiftys warning that "if you keep digging so deep into the secrets of gravity falls, this will be the last form youll ever take" ?
OK IM SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG im probably forgetting points too so i might edit it later but THANKS FOR ASKING
tldr: pacifica and mabels friendship plotline was left on a total cliffhanger after golf war and if mabel replaced dipper in nmm it would've been a good resolution to it
edit: check the reblogs if youre still interested! i added another list of reasons i think this (mostly in response to people disagreeing)
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nnnneeev · 1 year
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sleeping with solomon (headcanons with a dash of scenarios, sfw)
notes: gender-neutral, established relationship, just fluff and kissy stuff. why did i write this? i also want to ask that to myself (jk, i just want to get this out of my brain)
sleeping with solomon is pretty much what you'd expect him to be like
this man works late at night and you have you give your best pouty-face to convince him to join you in bed
once he lays down beside you, he'll ramble about the progress of his research. let him talk
it always starts as a normal couple moment
your head on his chest and one hand on his stomach, his arm wrapped around your shoulder
but then mischief comes when he starts to poke your sides intentionally
ofc you cant let this slide so you start to poke his armpits as revenge
and so the tickle war begins. chasing each other around until both of you pass out
on other occasions, he'll read a book while he plays with your hair. he will join you once he felt that you've fallen asleep
when you wake up, you always find yourself caged around his arms, his leg on top of yours; you're trapped
almost as if he doesn't want to let you go
he wont budge no matter how much you try to wiggle
you have two options. accept your fate and wait until he loosens his grip or wake him up
but waking him up is also difficult. he sleeps like a log
try calling his name? no reaction
how about kissing him? you press your lips on his forehead and wait for his reaction
no..? you kiss him again but this time on his nose. you swear you saw his eyebrow twitch, but you're not so sure so you kiss him again on his cheek
it's now evident that he's trying to pretend to be asleep by the slight curve on his lips. 'this man, i swear to god' you tell yourself
so you finally kiss him on the lips, and when you pulled back he's looking at you lovingly with a stupid grin on his face
"good morning, MC. I was hoping to get more wake up kisses from you but it seems like you saw right through me"
"how long have you been awake?" "hmm probably when I felt your lips on my forehead"
if he wakes up before you, he will stare at your sleeping face and think about how lucky he is to end and start his day with you on his side for a couple of minutes before kissing your head
then he gets up and prepare some coffee or hot chocolate for the both of you
will read his daily newspaper (like the old man he is) while he waits for you to wake up so you could both prepare breakfast together
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jaemified · 1 year
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through the window (21 days) - lee chan
“waiting 21 days isnt so bad if itll always end like this.”
pairing ; lee chan x fem!reader
genre ; fluff but pretty cheesy fluff, strangers to lovers, neighbors to lovers, not a smau but twt profiles are showed
warnings ; swearing, floods, isolation, separation, chans flirty (thats a warning in itself), reader has zero relationship experience
wordcount ; 2.7k
synopsis ; after a long series of floods, youre finally able to meet the boy across the street who had caught your eye throughout the long few weeks.
note - chan isnt an idol but minnie/soyeon are
note 2 - idk what chan is looking at in that pic
read below the cut !
DECEMBER 8, 2023
winter, also known as flood season.
the town where you lived in was already at a low altitude, so the bridge built to cross over the river to the other side of the street always had submerged during this time of year.
the thing that sucked the most about all this, was you were pretty much rained in for however long it takes for the water to drain with absolutely no way out.
so naturally, you all had came prepared.
your roommates minnie and soyeon never minded all the rain as they hated going in to work at the crack of dawn, yet you however, loved what you did. tutoring a kids after school program wasnt half as bad as the average person might think.
but, of course seeing as they were all a bunch of middle school kids, they could be a handful. you decided to listen to your friends and use these next few weeks to relax.
or, what you thought relaxing was.
“come on y/n! dont you wanna make strawberry shortcake with us?” minnie yelled at you over soyeons loud music while you studied over the next lesson plan for your kids.
“maybe later- i really wanna get a head start on these lessons.”
“seriously y/n?” soyeon murmured in slight disgust, “i seriously doubt the first thing those kids want to be thinking about is what they’re gonna do with their math tutor after a free half month.”
you shrugged and took a sip of your coffee before typing in the highlighted notes from the handbook into your computer.
“come on. youre not spending our one free break of the year like this again!” soyeon exclaimed as she snatched the book out of your hands, then closing your laptop before putting them both away in the cabinet under the tv.
“you know i can just get that myself right?”
“no, because i won’t let you.” she replied, locking the door and putting the key in her pocket.
“come on! im passionate about what i do, i dont mind it at all!”
“me and minnie are passionate about writing songs too, but even we know when its good enough to take a break.”
“okay i know i don’t work half as hard as idols do but i still have bills to come by! besides, corporate management demands i have the next lesson plan finalized before the end of the week!”
“corporates a bitch, they gotta be more mindful of how they treat their employees. like how do you be top tutoring company in the country and you still cant manage your employees the way they deserve?” minnie shouted in frustration.
“and dont worry about bills for now, we got it.” soyeon whispered to you.
“minnie- you realize cube is the same way to you guys right? and you work way harder then i do despite not getting the income you deserve.”
“yeah but we manage. we have a contract anyway. i know we’re passionate about what we do but we most certainly are not passionate about who we work for.” soyeon replied for minnie as she couldn’t hear over the sound of the blender (why was she using a blender again?)
you sigh soaking in how much pressure your friends are under at work, realizing you don’t even have it half as bad despite having a pretty shitty boss.
“how bout you find someone worth crossing an ocean for? itll be half as fun for us as itd be for you, since it’s in our contract we aren’t allowed to date.” minnie spoke after the whirring of the kitchen appliances died down.
“how.. we are entirely stranded until however long it takes for this stupid flood to drain.”
“do some stalking on insta. let’s find you like uh.. celebrity crush or ulzzang you can fan girl over or something.”
you scoffed in annoyance and slight disgust with your friends knowing you never really cared for any of that.
you decided to sit down at the bay window by the front door, scrolling through your phone before something outside caught your eye.
there you saw a guy across the way, sitting in his bay window just like you, he who seemingly just finished receiving a lecture from his friends.
you watched as he ran a hand through his fluffy dark brown hair, before he turned your way, your eyes locking.
immediately, it was part of your instinct to nervously turn away.
before slowly looking back, that is.
there you found the beautiful brown haired boy, still looking at you, with a golden smile.
your heart melted (but you thought you were having palpitations) when you saw him look at you so fondly.
what is this feeling?
you slowly raise a hand, and wave to him shyly.
he waved back, before forming a heart with his arms he held over his head.
you laughed quiet enough so your friends couldn’t hear you, but your facial expressions were bright enough so he could be aware he was able to make you laugh.
the boy laughed in response before he seemed to mouth something, but you weren’t the best at reading lips.
you tilted your head in confusion before he jokingly rolled his eyes, and saying it again, but slower.
“cu-tie.” you realized he said, or attempted to say.
“cu-tie?” you sounded out, making sure you understood right.
he nodded before pointing at you, his finger tapping against the glass, “cutie.”
he absolutely reveled in the way you smiled so brightly, the way your cheeks flushed pink and your eyes sparkled with excitement.
you didnt even realize how you were falling for his charms.
before you were even able to say anything back, his friend came up from behind him, attempting to drag him away, yet the guy was still persistent.
you watched how his friend started to get angry, so the guy rolled his eyes and stood up, walking away with his friend down the hall.
but not before waving back at you, blowing a kiss.
you got up from your seat before wrapping your arms around minnie, resting your head on her shoulder while you spared a small glance at whatever soyeon was watching in the living room.
“hmm? what do you need now my child?” she dramatically questioned, as she knew you only got clingy when you needed something.
“whos that guy that lives across the.. on the other side of the bridge? in that dark brown house with the black roof?”
“oh? house 133 right? thats seokmin, minghao, and.. what’s the other ones name? I always forget.. chan! yeah, chan.”
soyeon jumped up in surprise, pausing her show after hearing you pique your interest at a guy for the first time.
“why? you like one of them? which one? minghao? he was pretty well liked for a foreigner. he was in the same exchange program as minnie. ” she excitedly asked.
“w-what? no! i was just asking cause i saw one of them out there earlier.” you unconvincingly lied.
“oh she totally likes minghao.” “not even!”
“sweetheart, we aren’t as dumb as you think we are.” minnie pouted at you while she pulled away to put the cake in the oven.
you huffed in disbelief before going to take a bag of chips from the pantry, walking down to your room to finish the lesson plan. (on the laptop your boss lent you since soyeon took your personal one).
meanwhile, there you left chan, day dreaming about you all day long. he was so curious about you, yet he felt so stupid for crushing on some girl he’d never spoken to before.
not like he even could at this point, you were stuck in the middle of a flood, anyway.
“whats on your mind channie? you seem out of it.” seokmin asked while he blindly stirred the tteokbokki, turning to face the younger boy behind him, sitting at the kitchen island.
“its chan. whens he not out of it?” minghao chuckled, throwing a chip at his cheek, sliding to sit over at the stool next to him as he emerged from his bedroom.
“who lives in that white house on the other side of the bridge? isnt that where soyeon lives? we went to high school together.” chan half-mindedly queried, zoning out as he stared into the marble counters.
“yeah, why?” minghao responded.
“did she move out or something? there was another girl there and it wasnt soyeon or minnie.”
“oh, you mean y/n? she graduated a year before you or something, but at another school. we used to work at the same tea house before she left for that tutoring agency.”
“y/n? sounds vaguely familiar. i think i remember seungkwan mention her being in his class.”
“why are you mentioning her all of a sudden? you never cared for girls.” seokmin teased with a wide smile.
“oh come on. you know he’s quite the flirt.” minghao playfully cooed at chan, dramatically waving his hand back at seokmin.
“you two are insufferable.” he groaned, banging his head against the counter.
you found yourself up at night, scrolling through twitter before you decided to search for the guy you ‘met’ today. minghao, was it?
‘xu minghao’ was what you had entered into the search bar, clicking on the top result.
‘myunghoez’
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‘huh.’ you thought to yourself. so it couldnt be him, but seokmin didnt seem to have an account as you searched for his name.
you looked up chans name next, thinking maybe,, that there could be a chance it’s him. his profile picture was technically him, but not, him. but in your defense, how could you tell who was who if chans profile picture was a baby picture?
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though you knew youd never hear the end of it from her, you decided to ask soyeon.
“do you have a picture of chan?”
“yeah hold on. its just an old screenshot from an old tweet though.” she mumbled before pulling up her phone to show you.
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‘wow.’ you thought to yourself, ‘so this really was the guy i met today.’
before soyeon could ask any questions, you quickly thanked her and ran back to your room before posting a small something in reference to what minnie had said to you earlier.
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days, weeks, went by of you and chan interacting through the window despite never seeing each other up close, or ever hearing the others voice.
but despite being isolated from separately, you still had fallen for one another nonetheless.
you loved the way you would feel butterflies in your stomach whenever he made a heart with his hands for you, and he absolutely adored the way you in the end would just make a big sign telling him what you wanted to say when you gave up on trying to get him to read your lips.
of course the flood had its downside, i mean being stuck with the same 2 other people for almost a month definitely takes a toll on you, isolation definitely can get depressing with no way out.
but in the end, it had its upside as well. you were able to meet a great guy despite never technically talking face to face, having only lip reading to communicate (why didn’t you think of social media?). not to mention you were able to put more time into a forgotten passion after all of your energy being used up as a tutor.
marine animals.
you and chan had technically discussed the idea of possibly having a first date when you get out of here, yet you still hadn’t decided where you’d go or what you’d do seeing as you both were pretty passionate about different things.
chan had always loved the stars, you had always loved marine life. but, you decided you would finalize a date night once you both get to meet face to face.
DECEMBER 29
after a long 21 days of disappointment, spending christmas without your family, 3 going on 4 weeks of crazed loneliness, you finally woke up one morning to find the overflowing river, drained, and to its regular level.
you were able to see the bridge once more and though the wood might be rotting, you just couldnt wait to cross it.
you immediately ran down the hall, dressing however best you could, fixing your hair to be as best as it would go, being sure to brush your teeth and pop in a mint before running straight out the door. (and ignoring all of soyeons questions as well as minnies protests)
as you stepped out the front door, you saw chan just leaving his house looking as beautiful as ever.
you ran straight for the bridge, chan catching you before you could slip on a puddle before he picked you up into a big hug.
“you’re just as gorgeous up close as you were through a window.” he whispered as he pulled you close, his hand cradling the back of your head, pulling it to rest against his chest.
“and you’re still just as much of a flirt arent you?” you chuckled before slightly cringing at your attempt to reciprocate the excitement.
you were excited, believe me, just couldn’t express it as well as he could.
“i cant believe it took 21 days to finally be with you.”
“it was worth the wait wasnt it?”
“you’ll always be worth the wait.” chan mumbled against your skin as he pressed a soft kiss into your cheek.
“cant believe you’re real..” you mumbled, leaning further into his touch.
“cant believe i got someone like you to fall for someone like me.”
“chan you’re so cheesy.”
“only for you.” he replied with that stupid grin you grew to love so much.
the two of you later took the time to talk more about life, each other, finally exchange numbers, then eventually decide what you’d do for your first date night.
“see you tomorrow at 12?”
“tomorrow at 12.”
DECEMBER 30
you practically couldn’t sleep as you bubbled in excitement. you picked out a pretty black dress that went nicely with a random pair of white sneakers before heading out on your way while your roommates were out at work.
“lookin as pretty as always.” chan smiled while he opened his car door for you.
“still as handsome as ever arent you?” you jokingly rolled your eyes as he backed out the parking lot.
you two had many common interests, yet what you were most passionate about definitely was pretty parallel to one another.
chan loved the stars, you loved the sea. so, you decided to go to an aquarium (that also included solar system exhibits), grab some food from a cafe you found out you both loved, go for a late drive to the beach, watch the sunset, then stargaze.
call it cliche but it was perfect for you both.
chan wrapped an arm around you as you both stared into the night sky, all the stars displayed beautifully.
he would point at a random star and say it reminded him of you, because it stood out from the rest, distinct, but perfect in his eyes.
he was the sweetest guy ever, perfectly fitting the standard for what’s considered boyfriend material, almost unrealistic, even.
“youre a person worth crossing an ocean for.” you told him more then truthfully, bringing a hand up to softly stroke his cheek.
“out of all the stars in the sky, youre the only one id pick.” he cringed realizing how corny it was. “too cheesy?”
“just enough.” you reassured, before sealing both yours and his lips into a warm and comforting kiss. chan had never felt safer in another’s embrace.
“waiting 21 days isnt so bad if itll always end like this.”
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dilfhos · 1 year
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sooo this is gonna be a messy rant on the observations ive made between different writer communities, blog interactions and overall “status”. just silly little things I’ve noticed in my 4+ years being on tumblr btwn 2 diff blogs. and this is about no one specific, a very generalized post so if you find urself offended i honestly dont know what to tell you?? :o do better ig. & if you relate, i feel for you. TLDR @/end.
i dont like interacting/ building connections with people but not for the reasons ppl think. im not stuck up or pretentious or weird or anything. just another anime-enjoyer who loves to write in her free time. nobody special by a longshot!! i enjoy writing, always have since before i was a teen. (wasn’t always ff tho!).
but over the years ive just noticed fandom writing has its gritty sides that no one talks about often and its no mystery why so many prolific/ popular writers deactivated, me included. i had some shitty experiences and have seen friends go bc of it.
firstly, I’ve noticed, once you start interacting and building friendships with people, it’s easier to see the bigger perspective of where ppl stand and the blatant hierarchy of friendships and groups. same applies to that outside. like its literally just me n’ my bsf then my acquaintances bc mfs be weirddd omg its like cults or something. like thats why initially I didn’t interact w/anyone starting on my new blog. that n’ fear of drama following from my last blog ugh. ‘Cept the few i’ve met on my old blog (like my wifey)
not to mention i have bad anxiety. and sometimes im cue-deaf. i dont always pick up what people put down and vice versa and it makes me conscious in a lot of my interactions. so a part of me doesn’t want to interact at all to avoid all awkwardness and possible miscommunications. that’s not to say i don’t notice subtle changes in interactions after one situation / conversation or so forth, that in myself or witnessed between other ppl. (im perceptive, just not that good conversationalist lol. like i really have to try.)
but then…if you don’t interact with people on here, your chances of building an audience or a reader base is slim to none. the likelihood of developing relationships is zip. because you’re already perceived and pegged as just another tumblr writer. pause. to clarify, a writer who doesn’t want any recognition or interactions from mutuals or new friends. or just a lonely writer? a introverted, lonely writer. which leads to little to none interactions (anons, reblogs, moots —exposure.)
so then its like you’re kinda placed btwn a rock n a hard place. and there’s absolutely no problem with that! in fact this is the best part—meeting friends and like-minded people! people that make being online all the more worth it right? thirsting over fictional characters and sharing in each other’s works!
but you have to be in specific circles it seems. but then you can’t imply that you want to be in those circles bc then you’re desperate.
but well, then you cant purposefully want to be independent or be on your own or else you’re a hater, hypocrite or stuck up. not to mention, no one will reblog your stuff lol. no one will interact fr, and you’re friendless essentially. and god forbid if you disagree on something as if opinions don’t exist btw! then you’re being ganged up on. (like omg grow up!)
but then if you reach out you’re seen as trying to wedge in or kiss ass? you interact and follow and you’re ignored or left hanging? (bc im gonna touch your hand when i say this—it never gave fan, your majesty of horny nerds) and this is about ALL the writing communities and fandoms—spicy content, black content and dark content. ALL.
yet no one wants to talk about the pregnant elephant in the room—bias. and favoritism. also people seem to have a hard time being direct with how they’re feeling toward/about someone ( in a good or bad way) which in turn leads to a lot of miscommunication and subliminal attacks. (not to mention hate anons? one of my moots just had her inbox flooded w/them recently, ew.)
you can lead a horse to water AND you can write a 500-word essay on the observations made on tumblr writers as a whole. (a long ass post on the truth on behalf of those feeling this too)
also, slapping a HEY LOOK AT ME! IM A WRITER WHO WANTS INTERACTION AND FRIENDS! on a blog is frankly embarrassing. it shouldn’t even take all that seeing how easy it is for others wanting the same thing.
or doing less to achieve the same result.
not to mention, yall shit on ppl who essentially feel this way altogether bc you peg them as sb who doesn’t “try” or just jealous when their own works are phenomenally written themselves. ive seen it. and ive lived it. never gave jealousy baby.
at the end of the day, we’re all writers— either longterm or hobbyists. (personally, im longterm) self-indulgent or not! and its absolutely amazing when people are being fair in how they spread love and feedback to their writers.
Secondly, its not news that people have to want to reblog your fics so that their followers can reblog, so they can reblog, and their followers can reblog and so forth. but ppl honestly dont care atp bc once they’ve already read it, they owe you nothing. and apparently asking for reblogs is crass and bold. (imma do it anyway) but putting your very all into a story just to turn and see a half-thought out hc soaring 3k in 2hrs and 5k in a day — you have to stfu, open your ass and take it. keep it cute!
you’re getting fucked after all!!
because if you complain—you’re just jealous and lazy and uncreative!! and i hate that to seem like a writer worth a damn, you have to change up your writing style every two weeks to fit in with trending waves.
“no more poetic long fics, nobody’s into that! short, snappy slutty shots are all the rage!” “ppl are only into these specific tropes but you can’t exceed 2k words!” “only add trending characters to these hcs! ppl love them only!” “don’t write too much about a specific character or else ill unfollow you!” its exhausting.
i am well within my right as a literary artist to desire more feedback and interaction on anything i put out. period. and you are too! 🫵
God, im tired of that stupid, ‘you have to enjoy your writing for yourself and not worry about notes’ line. i do love my writing! don’t get me wrong there’s nobody id rather write like if not myself fr. not to mention the inspiration i draw from famous literary authors. however, i would love feedback and the same energy that i see with others in my same caliber.
and when i see others that didn’t even try fr—its a slap in the face to put it bluntly.
i can want silly little comments and notes about something i cherish and put out for that reason and yall aren’t gonna make me feel bad about it. sorry! like yall really be making people feel shitty for wanting the same type of interactions you get! especially when its harmless, bye asf. nb want to recipe to ur peach cobbler b!
the only one giving push back are those appointed popular /top blogs n’ cliques tho. now personally, i honestly dgaf if you have 20 followers or 25k, writing is writing and if its good you should want to support it regardless of following count/interaction right?
unfortunately, and quite unsurprisingly its not the case for the rest of this hellhole lol. there’s always gonna be some “big blog” in any part of tumblr or any social media for that matter.
but when the sole purpose being on a site like tumblr to write is mainly exposure, then it just makes it ten times worse especially if it seems that these blogs are steady at the top of every. single. tag. and listen, i know how initially stupid that sounds but when you’ve picked up on patterns for as long as i have, well iykyk.
so imma be real bc no one else will, half of the posts that yall see with 25k notes have alr been done. just different characters, different words, different dialogue. And 8/10 its been done by sb who only received 100 notes. Thats the evil part. whats more is that it lacks the creativity the one post with 100-300 notes is filled with completely.
POP QUIZ! what post would readers be more inclined to read? — one that says 10k (ohhh that must be popular!) or the one with only 150 (oh i guess nb really liked that one) that no one is even willing to reblog for MORE. and BOOM. now yall wonder why so many great writers LEAVE, its a fucking joke.
so unfortunately its no longer only about or only on readers anymore. its about who you know and who you know is willing to support your fr. who is willing to REBLOG your fics for their friends and followers, so that their friends and followers can reblog. to fit in you actually have to get in these days and it makes it all less enjoyable. makes it a chore and if you aren’t ‘doing it right’ ultimately it makes you feel shitty about your writing. (Please don’t, you are doing amazing. its the platform.)
it makes people not want to jump into writing. it pushes away those who actually want to join writing communities and meet people without feeling like they have to jump thru hoops to thrive or worse—live in other ppls shadows. and then it deters those from speaking up in fear of being shut down by bigger groups. ive seen it happen time and time again.
lastly, and this is the juiciest part! you absolutely cannot say anything about any of this bc you’re complaining and a fisher just looking for attention and not someone who just want things to be fair all over. play the game, right? ( wrong. and if this is your logic, you suck! )
its no longer about making flashy banners and pretty themes. its no longer about how many clever directory links you add or how many games you initiate on your blog or whether or not you’ve reblogged your fic three times already. its about your “friends”, other mutuals, and blogs willing to support you too. not just the audience. audience gonna do what they want regardless. reblog, don’t reblog, whatever. “at least ive read it right?” but everyone knows this. duh! but it’s obvious who doesn’t care as long as they’re on top of that tag! its admirable in a way but it sucks for those wanting to break out and build some kind of readerbase and/or make friends.
TLDR; people need to stop being bias and be fair and open lol. stop picking favorites and share the love all around. you see another person writing your favorite character or trope, give them a fucking chance and reblog, regardless if they’re in your ‘circle’ / radar or not. regardless if you know them or not. hell, let them put you on to a new fandom. bc writing is writing and making new moots and finding new fics seem to be what everyone loves to showcase until its time to actually do it. no wonder people get discouraged to make friends and write, yall treat it like some kind of secret society when its supposed to be fun💀 not a competition. (yall need to dead this clique-y shit. )
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