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feudalconnection · 4 years

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Get Ready...!!

It’s the start of the 1st Quarter 2021 Inuyasha Fandom Awards!!

We hope everyone has had a wonderful holiday season as we kick off the new year! A huge shout-out to everyone who participated last quarter and made it such a huge success! We look forward to all the amazing new fanfiction and fanart to be nominated and shared with this beautiful community!

Before we get started, there have been a few changes that have been made during our brief hiatus.

We want to give a shout-out to @britonell for always being so generous with her time and talent with creating award banners. (If you have not yet received your award banner for last quarter, please reach out to one of the mods asap!)

There are also some changes coming to the categories that may effect you as nominators:

Considering we now have a storyline in regards to Yashahime, we are now allowing works to be nominated into Fanfiction categories. However, because the storyline is not fleshed out enough and a lot of large parts are missing still, we will NOT accept any Yashahime works into the Best Canon Fanfiction category until more has been revealed. If there are any questions on this, please feel free to reach out to the mod-team.

Our Roulette category for fanfiction this quarter will be Best Canon Divergence Fanfiction. This is defined as: Anything that walks outside of Takahashi’s original vision, but includes some key defining moments from the original canon universe. Anything that starts in the World created by Takahashi and is taken to a different outcome. For this quarter, we are splitting the Best AU/AR category. The new definition for Best AU/AR Fanfiction this quarter is: Anything that walks outside of Takahashi's vision. Anything that moves the characters outside of Takahashi's setting of Feudal Era Japan or Modern day Japan is AU/AR. Anything that changes the main characters beyond the basic core attributes Takahashi granted them. Anything that includes a separate world and series of events. If there are any questions regarding this, please don’t hesitate to reach out to the mod-team.

As a reminder, any work of fiction may include OC’s, but it must reflect 80% of the storyline revolving around the Inuyasha characters.

One major change is that we are now going to evolve the Winners into First, Second, and Third place Awards. This has happened in past IY awards and some fans were hoping that we would be able to bring this back. However, this change is going to be based solely on the level of participation by you guys!

For any category to receive up to three nominations, a First Place banner will be awarded to the winner.

For any category to receive up to five nominations, First and Second Place banners will be awarded to the winners.

For any category to receive up to seven nominations, First, Second, and Third Place banners will be awarded to the winners.

Basically, the more nominations we receive, the more likely the chance for several people to receive banners! If you have any questions regarding this, please don’t hesitate to reach out to the mod-team.

If it was not mentioned above, chances are it hasn’t changed. Please be aware that the moderators always take suggestions regarding how the awards are run and category changes into consideration, and each quarter may bring about new changes. You can read up on the most recent FAQs, Rules of Eligibility, and Categories for more information (these links are only available on desktop)

Also for this quarter, check out @inuparentsday, taking place on January 16th!

As nominators, please make sure that each quarter you take a peek at our list of creators who can’t be nominated to make sure you are staying current with who is eligible to be nominated.

The 1st Quarter 2021 nomination period will being January 1st and go until the end of the day January 15th. Please send your nominations through the submit button! If you have any questions or concerns, please don’t hesitate to send in an ask or reach out to one of the mods!

Mods: @sassybratt9791 @meggz0rz @umacaking @hinezumi @sssuperbartola @ruddcatha

Please reblog to spread the word of the start of the new quarter!

[Below the cut we’ve posted the mobile-friendly FAQs, Rules of Eligibility, and Categories]

FAQ’s

What is The Feudal Connection?

The Feudal Connection is a place where amazing fanart and fanfiction in the Inuyasha fandom is recognized, admired, and offered the chance to be nominated for an award! In addition, it also gives lesser known authors and artists an opportunity to have their work shared to a broader extent and receive the admiration and recognition they deserve!

How do I nominate?

You can send us a submission in one of our nomination formats. Your submission will not be posted and therefore remain anonymous, only to be seen by the moderators. You can send multiple nominations in one submission, as long as the nomination formats are used for each nomination. Please select your fiction nominations carefully; spelling and grammar are important parts of being an author. Anything deemed unacceptable by the moderator team will be disqualified. Once nominations are complete, we’ll post the list of accepted nominations so you can read and view them before voting.

Can I nominate my own art/fiction?

You cannot nominate yourself. Doing so will result in the nomination not being accepted and a warning from the award moderators.

How long do I have to nominate?

You will have 2 weeks from the start of the nominating quarter to send in nominations. These dates will be posted at the beginning of each quarter.

Can I nominate anonymously?

No. This is due to the fact that no one is allowed to nominate their own work. Also, if a nomination is disqualified, the moderators will be reaching out to the person who nominated to allow them another opportunity to nominate.

Can I promote my own works of fiction/art to be nominated for a quarter?

No. You are not allowed to self-promote your own work during the nomination. This includes not being allowed to request others to nominate your work in specific categories. However, you are allowed to promote the nomination period of the awards by stating something similar to “go nominate your favorites” or the like, as long as you don’t promote your own work to being nominated. Violation of this rule will result in a warning. If there is a second offense, your work will be banned from being nominated in any future quarters.

How many fanfics/fanarts can I nominate?

Only one fiction or artwork can be chosen for each category per person. Meaning, a story or artwork can only be nominated by one person per category. Therefore, any secondary nominations will be disregarded and the duplicate nominator will be allowed to submit another story or artwork in its place.

Is there a limit to how many works can be nominated per category?

Yes. Only 7 fictions or artworks can be nominated per category. Once that category has reached its nomination limit, no more nominations will be accepted into that category for the current quarter.

What fanfiction/fanart is eligible to be nominated?

Please see Rules of Eligibility.

What is the nominating format for fanfics? For fanart?

Nominating format for fanfiction:

Category: (List the name of the category you’ve chosen) Nominated by: (List YOUR screen name) Rating: (The fiction’s rating) Title: (Title of the fiction) Author: (List the name of the person who wrote the story) Website(s): (Add the link where the story can be seen)

(For Best “In-Character” list the character’s name): (For Best “Friendship” list the characters’ names):

Nominating format for fanart:

Category: (List the name of the category you’ve chosen) Nominated by: (List YOUR screen name) Title: (Title of the artwork) Artist: (List the name of the person that drew the piece) Website(s): (Add the link where the art can be seen)

Can I nominate a fanfic/fanart for more than one category?

Yes. The same story or artwork may be nominated by the same person in up to two different categories.

What are the categories?

The categories for both fanart and fanfiction can be found in the Categories link.

Can I nominate a fanart/fanfic that includes Original Characters or Crossover Characters?

Yes. For Fanfics, 80% of the story needs to be focused on Inuyasha characters and the development of the story. OC’s can be in a story, but the main focus needs to be on the Inuyasha characters. Artwork can contain Non-IY characters where specified, but NO art may contain only OC’s or Non-IY characters. (i.e. Artwork of Inuyasha and Kagome’s “OC children” are unacceptable without other genuine IY characters present in the piece)

I don’t want my fanart/fanfic nominated. Can I opt out? How?

Once a nomination has been approved by the moderators, the author/artist will be made aware of the nomination. Every author/artist retains the right to have their work be removed from the nomination list and can opt out of future nominations. Simply reach out to one of the moderators to let us know.

How many quarters are there?

There will be 4 quarters total per year. Each quarter will be broken down by dates prior to the quarter starting.

How long is each quarter?

Each quarter will be approximately 8 weeks.

How long is the voting period?

The voting period will last for 2 weeks.

How do I vote?

Once the voting period begins, the moderators will post a link to the voting form that will list all of the nominations and which categories they have been nominated for. You can click on the link to be taken to the voting poll, however, you must sign in as you will be allowed only one vote per category.

When are the winners announced?

At the end of each quarter.

What happens if my fanfic/fanart wins? Do I need to do anything?

You don’t need to do anything; you can kick back, relax, and enjoy the feeling of being recognized for your hard work! We will be contacting you in regards to your award within the next twenty-four hours.

I want to nominate an artist/author who has won in the past. Are they still eligible to be nominated?

There is a Winner Ban in place. Once any piece of artwork or fanfiction has won an award for a category, it automatically becomes ineligible and cannot be nominated again for that category. However, it can be nominated for other categories after three consecutive quarters have passed (ie: one year since that piece won) as long as it fits within that definition. We currently do not have a rule against nominating an author/artist back into the category they won for in the past, as long as it is a different piece of work that is being nominated.

I have a question that’s not listed.

Please feel free to send an ask or a direct message to one of our mods and we will get back to you as soon as possible! :)

Rules of Eligibility

Fiction and Fanart published on any public or free site can be submitted for an award provided they meet all of the requirement of the nominations. These sites include but are not limited to Tumblr, Fanfiction.net, AO3, Deviantart, ect. If the validity of a site is uncertain, reach out to a moderator.

Multi-chapter fics must have been updated within the past 3 years of the nomination quarter. Fanart must have been created within the past 3 years of the nomination quarter.

One-shots and drabbles must have been posted within the past 3 years of the nomination quarter.

If the work was posted onto several different locations, the earliest date and time stamp will be taken and checked against the quarter’s period of eligibility. Stamps posted within reviews can be used to date a work and/or its chapters. Also, authors and artists can be contacted to verify timeframes.

You cannot nominate yourself. Doing so will result in the nomination not being accepted and a warning from the award moderators.

You are only allowed to nominate one fic/fanart per category.

Each piece of Art or Fanfiction is allowed to be nominated into a maximum of two different categories per quarter. The nominations will be taken on a first come first serve basis, meaning that once a piece of Art or Fanfiction is nominated into two categories, it will not be allowed to be nominated into other categories, and each subsequent nomination will be rejected.

Each author/artist is allowed to be nominated twice per quarter. Meaning, an author/artist can only have a max of two of their creations be nominated per quarter. So be sure and pick your favorites carefully!

The work must be in compliance with the definition of the category into which it was nominated.

Both adult and non-adult artwork are acceptable for nominations.

Categories

*Please keep in mind that these are subject to change pending participation and suggestions.

There are 32 categories in all - 16 for Fanfiction and 16 for Fanart. Please adhere to each categories’ definition when nominating. If a nomination does not fit within the definition, it will be disqualified.

Fanfiction Categories

Best Action Fiction

Action: “actual engagement in fighting an enemy; military or naval combat” Adventure: “participation in exciting undertakings or enterprises.”

Does it make you sit on the edge of your seat? Do the characters battle adversity on a daily basis? Have the characters embarked on an epic quest?

Best Alternate Universe/Reality Fiction

Anything that walks outside of Takahashi's vision. Anything that moves the characters outside of Takahashi's setting of Feudal Era Japan or Modern day Japan is AU/AR. Anything that changes the main characters beyond the basic core attributes Takahashi granted them. Anything that includes a separate world and series of events.

Best Canon Fiction

“The works of an author that have been accepted as authentic.”

If the story is set in Takahashi’s universe (Modern Japan or Feudal Japan) and keeps the character origins, events, and motivations for character development that she created, then it is canon.

Best Angst Fiction

“Any situation or series of events having/giving a feeling of dread, anxiety, or anguish. An acute but nonspecific sense of anxiety or remorse.”

Stories that delve into the lives of the characters and pit them against odds that create angst.

Best Dark Fiction

Anything that brings the reader into a world of pain and suffering through abuse of the characters at the hands of the antagonist or internal strife. If it includes graphic rape, murder, abuse (mental or emotional), a character that is suicidal or possessed of depressing thoughts/outlook on life that colors the majority of the story in glum tones it can be considered a dark!fic. Can also be aimed to cause an overwhelming and painful feeling due to something frightfully shocking, terrifying, or revolting; fear. Aimed to frighten or ‘gross out’ the reader.

Best Drama Fiction

“Any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, or striking interest or results.”

Stories that delve into the lives of the characters and take the readers with them on a journey through the gambit of emotive expression.

Best Humor/Parody Fiction

Did it make you laugh? Did it deliberately spoof the anime/manga?

Best NSFW Fiction

Sexual content/smut with plot. Both oneshots and specific chapters from multi-chapter fics are accepted in this category. If coming from a multi-chapter fic, a link for that specific chapter is required. Must include content depicting an act of the sexual nature; i.e,. sex, masturbation, heavy petting/touching, ect.

Best Oneshot Fiction

Any fiction that spans the length of one chapter. This can also be a fiction that contains more than one chapter provided that each one was posted at the same time and specifically deemed a “oneshot” by the author.

Best Character Portrayal

Did the author create an in-depth characterization that, while it may diverge from Takahashi’s vision for them, managed to attract the reader?

*Nomination must include the specific character*

Best Romance Fiction

“Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love”

Stories that have developed a believable romance between two characters. “Believable” is subjective, and it is up to those nominating/voting to draw their own line on that quantifier and vote their “Best.”

Best Non-Canon Pairing

A story including two or more characters in a romantic relationship with each other that were not canonically together in the manga or anime (such as InuKag, MirSan, KogAya, InuParents, etc)

Best Serial Fiction

A collection of drabbles or oneshots or a combination of both that makes up one larger story.

Best Ficlet

For drabbles and poetry - of any genre or pairing - consisting of 1,000 words or less.

Best Canon Divergence Fiction

Anything that walks outside of Takahashi’s original vision, but includes some key defining moments from the original canon universe. Anything that starts in the World created by Takahashi and is taken to a different outcome.

Best Completed Fiction

A story with multiple chapters that will no longer be updated and should be listed as ‘complete.’

Fanart Categories

Best Action Artwork

Any fanart depicting adventures, engagement in fighting an enemy, or battles.

Best AU/AR Artwork

Any fanart depicting the characters in an alternate reality or universe setting.

Best Canon Artwork

Any art featuring the characters in a canon setting.

Best Angst Artwork

Any art depicting a scene having/giving a feeling of dread, anxiety or anguish.

Best Dark Artwork

Any art that brings the reader into a world of pain and suffering through abuse of the characters at the hands of the antagonist or internal strife. If it includes graphic rape, murder, abuse (mental or emotional), a character that is suicidal or possessed of depressing thoughts/outlook on life that colors the piece in glum tones can be considered a dark artwork. Can also be aimed to cause an overwhelming and painful feeling due to something frightfully shocking, terrifying, or revolting; fear. Aimed to frighten or ‘gross out’ the reader.

Best Humor/Parody Artwork

Any artwork which evokes a feeling of amusement in the viewer.

Best Kiss Artwork

Fanart depiction of the a kiss between two romantic characters.

Best Character Artwork

Any artwork that is a ‘still life’ of one or two characters. It may be bust only, bust and torso, or full body. The portrait should seem more ‘professional’ than a snapshot in its form and presentation, and should successfully convey a sense of the character’s canon personality to the viewer. Portraits should all be canon, and not AU/AR.

Best Duo/Pairing Artwork

Any art that features two characters be it a comic, doujinshi, painting, drawing, sketch, etc. If other characters are included in the picture it is only allowed as a background. The focus MUST be on the pairing. The art can reflect either a platonic relationship or a romantic relationship between the two characters.

Best Doujinshi Artwork

Fanbased and fan made manga based on Inuyasha; art and story combined in manga form.

Best NSFW Artwork

Any artwork portraying the characters of Inuyasha engaged in a sex scene or a scene hinting at a sexual relationship. Can be one character, male/female, male/male, or female/female.

Best Romance Artwork

Any romantic depiction of two of the characters of Inuyasha (excluding male/male or female/female)).

Best Non-Canon Pairing Artwork

An artwork depicting two or more characters in a romantic light with each other that were not canonically together in the manga or anime (such as InuKag, MirSan, KogAya, etc)

Best M/M & F/F Artwork

Any romantic depiction of two of the characters of Inuyasha including male/male or female/female pairings.

Best Group Depiction Artwork

This artwork must feature 3 or more of the Inuyasha cast to be eligible.

Best Overall Artwork

The quality, time, thought, and emotion that went into this piece is what would make it worthy of this nomination. Please take note: The general idea is not the “best of what’s nominated” or “best of show.” It is a category created specifically for art appreciation. That means that even if the characters are OOC, AU, or not drawn in anime style, etc., the ART itself is worthy of praise.

#feudalconnection #fcq12021 #fc nominations #fc start #mod team

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loquaciousquark · 5 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E63 (May 21, 2019)

Sorry it’s late, guys. @eponymous-rose has narrowly avoided being blown away by tornadoes and I’ve narrowly avoided drowning in equally dangerous paperwork, so here we are at the end of all things. Preroll is post-its of donors for Red Nose Day.

Tonight’s guests: Sam Riegel & Liam O’Brien.

Tonight’s announcements: We’re opened by Mark Hulmes instead of BWF. He dabs. No one blinks an eye. After the music open, we find out BWF’s neighbor’s kid stole his keys and then he lost his wallet. It hasn’t mattered, because he’s about to be Mr. Ashley Johnson & people just keep giving him what he needs. They’re still raising money for RedNoseDay. Thursday morning, the Colbert one-shot airs on the Critical Role Youtube. You can donate at critrole.com/rednoseday. Mark Hulmes joined Taliesin & BWF today for an episode available on the CR Twitch.

Episode 63: Intervention

CR Stats: Caleb cast his 700th spell, Gift of Alacrity, on Caduceus. Nott rolled her 40th natural 1 this episode to understand the local sewer system. This was Caduceus’s first HDYWTDT. Everyone mourns that someone stole the Golden Snitch from Matt’s bag.

It’s more stressful not knowing everyone’s motivations, both within the party and the game world. Sam talks about Yasha’s mysterious past and Beau’s dangerous ties to the Empire, especially given how much they understood in the first campaign about (at least) who the bad guys were. Sam feels like once they have a shred of information, he wants to jump on it ASAP and make big, bold decisions on them. He’s dealing with the discovery that this might be not as great an idea. He’s not experienced this kind of “trepidation, failure, uncertainty...I don’t like this game. I don’t like it at all!”

Caleb likes using the little bit of dunamantic magic as a taste of a drug--each little hit makes him want more and more and more.

Danimancy? Make a Carrcana check. Sigh, Sam.

Sam made two big mistakes in the last fight: he missed the gender of the dragonborn, so he thought that one of the other voices Matt was doing was actually the dragonborn giving orders (and therefore the one in charge, while the drow was the one taking orders). He also saw the dragonborn leaving and was worried that he was waiting on the party to give him (Nott) the go-ahead to kick things off. He recognizes he put Caleb in a terrible position both in a meta yes-and sense and in the Nott-Caleb team sense.

The world devolves into campaign slander and propaganda. Everyone’s in it, including BWF and Dani. #samforpresident

Caleb told the Brightqueen about his past because he feels like they’re on a very tight timeline, looking for very slight drips of information like gold. He thought it was worth the shot.

Sam desperately wants to know what the missing years in Yasha’s memory hold. BWF tells him to get what he can out of her while she’s here; her show’s been renewed for another season. He sounds genuinely bitter as he says it, but he notes at least it’s the last one. :(

They ask Mark Hulmes about what Charm does for people. He helpfully tells us it doesn’t say if they remember or not. Sam also points out Nott has blown up Caduceus before, so doing a few more points to Yasha is *wigglehands*.

Caleb did not mean to kill the horse on purpose. Sam tries to get him to confess that on camera, but instead Liam needles him about not cuddling Henry.

Cosplay of the Week: @andy_srivastava’s cosplay of Beau. Gorgeous!

Both Sam and Nott feel the fight’s outcome was his/her fault. He expects her to feel very guilty next week. Sam genuinely felt and still feels bad about it. He also prefers hashing out reactions the night things happen instead of having to wait a week for the next Thursday. He feels it’s more genuine.

Caleb is very worried about Jester’s mom and Astrid’s crew finding ways to use her mom as leverage. He’s also worried about the kid, but is glad Shakaste is going to get him. Liam also always imagined running into his old crew against the backdrop of the Empire, and is now very worried that if he runs into them soon he’ll have the added perception of being a traitor since they’re in the Dynasty.

Liam and Caleb both were surprised he was given hints of dunamancy so freely. He looks forward to learning more.

Liam totally understands how easy it is to miss things now. He’s constantly looking things up and reading in an attempt to understand his spells, and therefore missing parts of the battle. He greatly sympathizes with Marisha. Sam, on the other hand, is finding it hard to adapt to rogue life; he doesn’t like the necessary “out there, bold choice” nature of rogues in D&D and having the pressure of making big decisions very fast. He prefers Scanlan’s nature of sitting in the back, casting spells, and being more reactionary than instigatory. Liam always is afraid of picking the wrong spells, and finds it much harder than Vax. BWF: “Dagger dagger dagger...dagger dagger dagger dagger?” Liam: “I kept track of that fine, it’s everyone else that was wrong.”

Sam is shocked the D&D Beyond campaign bit has dragged on. BWF calls his rebuttal “bogusly weak,” and Sam looks genuinely aghast. It’s hilarious. “I don’t know how he got to you, Brian, but this feels like coming on Fox News! You’re a partisan hack! I won’t take it anymore, but I love attention, so I will stay.”

Nott is super interested in the dodeca’s ability to give people different bodies, but Caleb is still the clearest path to getting her body back. It’s complicated because the Dynasty souls are “chosen” and Nott’s not likely to be so.

Liam is very excited to see this magic system Matt has created in dunamancy. Did he create it in response to Liam or had he already thought about it? Sam tells us he’s always been thoughtful about fate and the subverting of it. Liam is so pumped because in campaign one, fate strings existed and were uncontrollable, but in campaign two we’ve “developed physicists, tinkering.”

In re: Essik, Nott’s just happy Caleb has found a friend. She wishes he’d bring him home more often.

Sam finally busses Henry’s cheek and affirms to us that he actually loves dogs. Everyone in his family is voting for a new dog except for his daughter, who wants a cat.

Liam doesn’t want everything to be cat-themed, but likes retouching a few spells here and there for flavor. He also wanted to differentiate it from Scanlan’s Bigby’s Hand. Sam thinks he should reskin more spells.

SPOILERS FOR C1 IN THIS QUESTION. Sam talks about rogue high-stakes moments as genuinely, surprisingly stressful. Liam says Vax was stressful but exhilarating, especially when it came to moments that conflated poor meta decisions vs roleplay decisions. He specifically mentions Raishan’s chase as a terrible in-game decision but one that was right for the character. He and Sam will always do what’s right for the character, even if it’s bad narratively in the moment. Sam says he got a lot of support from the group thread this past week, though. END SPOILERS FOR C1.

Fanart of the Week: a gorgeous Caduceus portrait by @larndraws.

Nott trusts Shakaste to get Luke traveling safely. Sam also drops a bombshell on the world by telling us Luc is spelled Luc. It’s just that no one’s ever asked. Heavens!

Caleb’s made an effort to tell people he cares for them, but he fears it at the same time. He’s afraid he’s going to be put in a position where he needs it too much. Brian asks if he believes he’s truly irredeemable: Liam says there’s a certain road where he could feel he atoned, and there’s a road that might lead to balance, but there’s never a brass ring that he could reach that could let him relax entirely. I don’t entirely understand the metaphor, but I get what he means.

Sam likes that the theme of this campaign seems to be “atonement and reconciliation” compared to the first campaign’s “finding family.” There’s a bit of that in this campaign too, but he likes how everyone has something in their past that they’re clinging to, and he’s interested to see who will be able to resolve it, who will be able to handle it, and who won’t be able to let it go.

Mark Hulmes come on to talk about the Stream of Descent, which happened last weekend. He’s the DM for High Rollers, which airs at 9am Pacific on Sundays.

BWF talks about how C1 had a lot of the Hero’s Journey in various forms, and C2 feels a lot like “what it means to be good.” He doesn’t feel they fit the “antihero” archetype very well.

Liam thinks that if Caleb were going to leave the campaign, he’d have done it already.

Part of Caleb’s generation was to create a character the world would shun, and seeing if he could find a way to find compassion for them. He mentions the poem written for the Boston marathon bomber a while ago. BWF talks about how it’s a really interesting character choice because it depends on the rest of the table being willing to stick around and seek out that redeemable quality in your character, even when you’re making decisions that are true to the character but bad for the table/the rest of the group. You can’t always expect that to work with every group you play with.

Mark talks about Calliana being the other end of the spectrum from Caleb, because she also has a history of having done very terrible things, but she was taken in by a family who helped her understand she’d been manipulated and it was not her fault. He’s desperate for his recently mentioned package to be picked up because she has some messages for Caleb in it. Now she tries to see the best in everyone she meets as a result of her history. He has a whole folder of fanart of Calliana on his wall. Awwww.

It’s still never gotten old for Liam or Sam either.

Mark endorses Sam for President. Good job, foreign fellow. Is it Thursday yet?

#talks machina #talks machina spoilers #critical role #critical role spoilers #long post for ts

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trixcuomo · 5 years

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4. Slay Dalaran City Clinic

((Part four of the craziest Kael’thas fangirl story I intend to write! Get ready for the ultimate Trixany-Gaga parody... 10 min read, 18+ for sexual themes.))

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When I look back on my life in Outland, it’s not that I don’t want to see things with Kael’thas exactly as they happened. It’s just that I prefer to see them in a happier way. And you know, the way that the new me, the carefree Kaja-Cola Girl I had to become might experience these things is more honest because my better self invented it.

Clinical psylosophy, if you ask that Forsaken guy near Durnholde Keep, tells us that trauma is the ultimate killer. My people faced extinction. We lost our king, our way of life was nearly obliterated. And in a mad attempt to recover it all on his own, we ultimately lost our beloved Prince Kael’thas.

And then the Void Elves… To me, it still feels we might lose ourselves forever.

It’s like my life in Quel’thalas, today, is this broken mirror. And as the owner of that mirror, I’ve tried to fit the pieces back together. Make it perfect, clear again. But I can still see the crack in that mother fucker’s reflection.

It’s not that, ‘Trixany, by becoming a Kaja-Cola Girl, and a parody singer—which sounds so spectacularly weird in a way—and then getting high in Pandaria with a succubus to re-live moments with Kael’thas, when you’re supposed to be a righteous Blood Knight and follower of the Light… you’ve been so dishonest.’

No. It’s just that Blood Knight Trixany Cuomo loathes her reality.

For example, the Dalaran nurses here at the clinic? To me, they all have these super short, fashionable skirts on, with their tops open to the navel. And every one of them looks like Kael’thas Sunstrider.

And Kael’s shoes?

I’ve always wanted him to show off those legs, so he’s in white platform stilettoes.

I know what kind of world this is, I don’t care. I’m not talkin’ bout the weapon.

I tipped all the Kael’thas nurses’ hats to the side, because I need this to feel like another delicious, dirty dream. Like the one in back Pandaria…

And also because that’s more romantic, better than being admitted to the Dalaran City Clinic by a Night Elf stranger who found me hallucinating alone in the woods.

I also think people making cute meme fanart of Kael’thas will be very big in the next expansion.

Check out that Kael’thas nurse on the right, the one opening the door for my stretcher to go through. He’s got a great ass.

…Bam.

The truth is, back in the Ghostlands, when I mistook that Night Elf Dannox for Kael’thas because Dannox was standing in a sunbeam, and then he groped me? I came out of it, at least I think that I did, then I mauled Dannox like a she-bear. Bit right into his arm with my teeth, like the civilized, highly-trained fighter for the Light that I am.

Oh, there Dannox is now. He’s following the team of Kael nurses as they wheel me into the intensive care ward. Poor baby, whatever I did to his arm, he’s got it in a sling now.

And that Kel’thas nurse on the left? I asked him to order me some fel crystals mixed into a tall, icy glass of Kaja-Cola a couple of hours ago.

They only gave me the Kaja-Cola.

I wish that, back at Tempest Keep, they’d only given Kael’thas the Kaja-Cola.

Oh, here’s the head nurse. Looks like I know him pretty well already.

“Hi again, Kael’thas. You look lovely in that. The gold phoenix stethoscope was a nice touch.”

“I know. I’m a little scared, but then again I do look damned good, don’t I?” I watched him look down over the hot little outfit, “I’m such a clotheshorse too, Trix. I can’t believe slutty women’s fashion is a new thing for me.”

“Mhrm. You should let me dress you in my hallucinations more often.”

“Well, in any case,” He very deliberately and professionally removed my hand from his leg, “Good morning, Bloodthistle princess. How are you feeling?”

“Pretty horny.” Well, that was far more deadpan and threatening than I intended.

“Uh-huh. And anything other than the obvious?” Nurse-daddy Kael’thas did let me reach up and play at twining his long blonde hair in my weakling fingers. He smiled pleasantly at my devoted effort to flirt, even now. Then he went on checking the equipment, magical meters and tubing by my bed. I enjoyed watching him bend over to do all this for me, “Everything went really well, Trixany. You survived the Ghostlands with that Night Elf. Then, you survived Tempest Keep with me.”

“Isn’t that… somehow out of order?”

“Look at you. I remember back when they first assigned you to be my body guard at Tempest Keep. And you saluted me.”

I suddenly felt like screaming at him. Small miracle that I didn’t. I felt like I was out of my body already, with rage, with pain. I was losing control of even sweet this…

“And do you remember what you said to me back then? Trixany?”

“My life for my prince… Except my prince was supposed to be a great man. Back then, I thought my zealotry was warranted.”

“I did what I had to do. You were a Sunfury, you knew that.”

“Kael’thas, you lied to all of us.” Then, in a spark of anger, I don’t know how, I finally found the strength to lunge at him. But two more duplicates of Nurse Kael’thas held me, slammed me down. He then gestured, and a fourth blonde princely nurse strutted up with a syringe. All sharing his wicked, wonderful crooked grin. I kicked out, kicked over a silver tray by my cot. Dannox staggered back, cradling his arm. Twisted silver implements I’d never seen in Silvermoon, nor in all my life fell to the floor, scattered.

But Nurse Kael’thas came in and injected something clear blue into my arm. I slowed. I eased off.

I heard Kael’thas speak with Dannox, while the fifth clone of this crazed, resurrected Bloodmage had a clipboard, taking notes. A dull magical hum swelled in the room.

“Her heart rate is a little low. But that’s Miss Cuomo coming off the Bloodthistle…” Dannox nodded as if this was totally usual, for Kael’thas in heels, a slinky miniskirt, buff chest exposed and accented by a hanging gold stethoscope to be providing medical advice. “She’s just dehydrated now. A few more hours of rest here in the clinic should help.”

Dannox seemed sincerely worried. I assumed he’d dragged me way out to Dalaran out of guilt, or for fear of a bunch of angry Farstriders hunting him down. At least then, he could say he tried and he’d be in neutral territory. “Thank you, nurse. And thank Elune that Trixany didn’t—”

I spoke over them both, “I’m… I’m going to make it?”

Kael’thas smiled handsomely, and he had a dimple just there on his cheek, “Plenty of fluids. And no more Bloodthistle.”

Dannox asked Kael’thas more questions. A part of my brain waited for Dannox to reach around and grope Kael’thas too, while the Blood Elf prince was distracted. I mean, that’s what Dannox did to me, it’s what started this damn mess. But Dannox was trying to negotiate getting me out of there sooner, something about me being a big name, and discretion.

I couldn’t stand it. A part of me had dwindled away, I think. My voice raised like a little kid, who doesn’t know how loud they’re being, because they’re so panicked, because what’s in their imagination is far more important than what the big adults think. “I’m going to be a star, Kael’thas. Do you know why?”

He gave me a tender, patient look. As if he’d never slaughtered thousands and turned to the Burning Legion, or had ever ordered me to collude with him and other Sunfury soldiers to do the same.

“…Because after what they did to our people, Kael’thas. I have nothing left.”

“Aww, Punkin. That’s so nice.” Hair flip there, that put him back to being as callous as I remembered, “Do you need anything else?”

My breathing slowed against my will. Whatever they gave me was kicking in, surely. “I… I want my real life back? I want you back, Kael’thas.”

As always, in nearly everything, which was tragic—Kael’thas proved astute. “Is that why you sing?”

No. I think it was Dannox who asked, this time. Suddenly, it was just the big Night Elf standing by my cot. The nurses had departed to assist other patients in the large ward.

I confided, voice gravelly, “Either that or I’d be crying all the time.” My head lolled to the side, so that I could only see the wall, not him, not anyone else in the gray, gray clinic, “But I see tears as so last season.”

Dannox sat down in the metal chair beside my bed. He was heavy and strong. The metal screeched on the floor when his athletic body budged it. I peeked back his way. Dannox spread his feet on the floor and leaned elbows on his knees. I watched Dannox feel his hurt arm in the sling. Then he weaved his fingers together and squeezed his hands anxiously. He was wiped out. Me and my antics had done all this to him.

I have some goofy instincts, I guess. I presumed getting him to crack a smile might make up for all he endured on my behalf. “Everyone in here looks like Kael’thas in a miniskirt, Dannox.”

His abrupt laugh stirred a few people in the beds around us. “Well, that’s alright. Coming to the Dal City Clinic is always pretty fun for me too, in an um... similar way.”

I think we were both checking out the nurses before I drifted back to sleep.

-fin-

((Please. I please have a request for the Kael’thas stans and the art community on Tumblr here please. Please! Someone draw me a sexy Kael’thas in a female nurse’s outfit. I wanted one for this post but could not find please.

And when you do, please tag it with #slay trixany so we can all bask in its glory. Thx!))

#kael'thas sunstrider #lady gaga #warcraft #slay trixany

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rin-the-shadow · 5 years

Photo

So this is a drawing I did around five years ago now. I don’t recall exactly what happened to spark the Ninja Turtles interest back into overdrive and lead to me hopping all over my favorite storylines of the first season, (really, it could be as simple as hearing the word “bushido” or something like, “I heard a character who sounded like Michael Sinterniklaas”) but here’s what I wrote back when I originally uploaded the picture to my DeviantArt:

I'd read an article on a fansite that said it's never really been explicitly confirmed why Raphael has such a temper in basically every series he appears in. Which is true, but at the same time, I don't think characters with tempers usually get a backstory on it; it's usually just accepted as a part of their personality as they're written. But as I read that, I thought about the fact that, in the 2003 series at least, Donnie's the one who spends the least amount of time on the receiving end of that temper, with Leo and Mikey on the receiving end for different reasons at different times. And of course, there may be lots of different reasons why Raph has a temper, ranging from frustration at not being able to do as well as he'd like, to being more of a fighter and not always having an outlet for that, or any number of other reasons. But the thing that caught my interest is that Donnie seems to be the one he loses his temper with least. And of course, I'm a little rusty on the series; it's been a few months since I really sat down and watched whole story arcs, but it seems like Donnie's the one he can communicate with the easiest. There's not that youngest-sibling-egg-you-on thing, or the rivalry element. So I was wondering if maybe part of Raph's temper could be because he isn't good at expressing himself in words. I'm mostly going off of season one, from "The Shredder Strikes" to just before "Return to New York." But I guess I got the idea since he's usually the one beating the bad guys away from the others when they're preoccupied. The way he shows he cares is by helping out with a project (like remaking Leo's katana) or beating the monsters back (The Shredder Strikes, Notes from the Underground, etc.). So I wondered if part of it is frustration at not being able or, in some cases, not being willing to express things as they are, like in "Tales of Leo," when he first gets mad that his brother won't wake up, and then winds up telling a story of when they were young, finishing with, "I don't even know why I told that story," and turning away as Splinter confirms Leo understood, since he doesn't want the others to see him tear up.

But in any event, that’s a headcanon I’ve had for awhile about 2003 Raph, that he isn’t particularly good at expressing himself in words, and so he has to find other ways to communicate with his siblings. I kind of want to rewatch the first season now, because some of the stuff that happens in early episodes like “Meet Casey Jones” is stuff that I don’t recall happening in later ones. I’m not sure if this is because it gets easier for him to express himself, or because there are more bad guys to beat off of his brothers....which I guess serves the same function, now that I think about it.

Because of a post by @brightlotusmoon, I’ve also been thinking about updating this picture, not only because I’d just like to draw more Ninja Turtles fanart, but also because that post made me realize I didn’t really include Mikey in the “how Raph shows affection” aspect of the picture. I have one of him kicking Shredder away from Donnie, and blocking his strike, I have him helping Leo reforge his swords as well as expressing concern when he was attacked by the Shredder’s henchmen, and on the flip side, I have him snapping at him during “Tales of Leo,” when he lashes out because he’s afraid he won’t wake up. For Mikey, I kind of have the moment from “The Shredder Strikes” when he pretended to be mortally injured, prompting Raph to express concern for him, and then revealed he was messing with him, which prompted the response, “I’ll turn yer lights out for real, wise guy!” but his are confined mostly to text as part of the graffiti wall.

And I do think part of that was because my marathon was fairly restricted to being from “The Shredder Strikes” up to “Return to New York,” where a lot of the focus was on the Shredder conflict, as well as Leo’s recovery from being attacked. But I’d like to have Mikey as a greater part of this piece, when I update it.

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2003 #2003 raphael #rin does fanart #rin overanalyzes stuff #colored pencil #ah undergrad me you did so love your colored pencils #character analysis #longish post #cw attack mention #the shredder strikes #the shredder strikes back #tales of leo #the monster hunter

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kid-crashed · 6 years

Text

Catch Me If You Can (Part 1)

This is a DamiJon College AU based off of some fantastic fanart by @une1st that you can find right here. Part 2 coming soon!

A shrill whistle rang over the practice field, easily being heard over the sound of rock music blasting from a set of speakers.

“Come on boys! Let me see that hustle!” The coach would have been easily identifiable, even without the booming voice. He was a giant man, easily six foot five, maybe more, with muscles straining against muted gray sweats. He was the only one standing on the sidelines, while the Metropolis City University football team practiced. “You best wake up and get your asses in gear or you’ll be running laps for the rest of the day!”

“Yes Coach!” The call came unanimously from the team as they worked through a series of warm up drills. Practice had only just started; earlier than normal, but they had their big Homecoming game tonight. This was their last chance to get a little extra training in.

The team finished their warm up, the coach stepping into the center of the field.

“Alright boy, take a knee.” The herd of college kids formed a semicircle around theman. His eyes surveyed his team before landing on one member in particular. “Kent. Get your butt up here.”

“Sir, yes sir.” The guy in question stood up from amongst the team with a cocky grin on his face: Jon Kent. At twenty years old, he wasn’t the youngest person to ever make team captain, but he was still only a junior; a fact which had originally left a bad taste in the mouths of some of the seniors. Still, no one could deny that he’d earned this title, captain was elected by majority vote after all. But it was early in the season. This was his first big game to prove himself in.

He was tall by most standards, short by football’s, at six foot one. But more importantly, he was built almost entirely of lean muscle. His shoulders were broad, half inherited from his father, half the result of doing farm work his whole life. Unlike a lot of the members of the team, who looked like they snorted protein powder and skipped leg day regularly, Jon’s muscle mass was evenly distributed, giving him a conventionally fit, and attractive build.

He wiped the sweat on his hairline with the sleeve of his practice jersey. A clip board was handed over to him. It contained notes about each player on their team, as well as on their opponents.

“Alright folks,” He cleared his throat. “As you know, we’re going against Gotham tonight. Coach Stone can’t be trusted to call the shots ‘cause it’s his alma mater, so I’ll be taking over instead.” There was some collective snickering amongst the team. It was a running joke to five their coach a hard time for having gone to their biggest rival school. “So, here’s how it’s going to go.”

Jon started listing off the positions for roughly half of the team, mostly upperclassmen who were guaranteed a little spotlight in the homecoming game. There was a promise to all the new freshies and returning sophomores that if they proved themselves during training, they could get a little action too.

“Alright boys.” Coach Stone piped back in once Jon was done. “Take five for water, then we’re back to it.”

The members of the team split off back to their bags. Jon had left his over on the one long metal bench that stood at the bottom of the hill leading that lead to the field. As he walked up to it, he was able to look around and notice the small crowd of people interspured all over the knoll.

It wasn’t uncommon for other MU students to sit around and watch various athletic teams work out below. It was a nice place to hang out; sunny, but with a few trees for shade, and easy walking distance to one dining hall, the main gym, two libraries, and some of the larger academic buildings.

Seeing all these other students out here brought a smile to his face. He liked feeling like he was part of a community.

“Yo Kent, think fast!”

Jon’s head snapped up just in time to see a football being launched right at his head. God dammit. He ran back a few steps, thanking every fiber of his body that his reaction time was pretty high quality. Jon was able to cover enough distance that rather than being smacked in the head, the ball slammed his right in the chest. Jon wrapped his hands around the ball, pulling it in and keeping it close with his forearms. Nice. Ball: Caught. Receive: Perfect… Except… As he let his body follow the momentum, Jon felt the back of his ankle knock against something, and he toppled backwards.

“And down I go.” The exclamation was involuntary as he hit the ground with a thud. His recovery period was quick. The man sat up just in time to see one of his teammates cackling at Jon’s expense. “What the hell Batson?”

“Sorry man.” That boy was not sorry. Billy had been a close friend of Jon’s for years, but he could be a bit of a joker. “Also, uh, sorry!”

Jon scrunched his eyebrows at the second apology, noting that it definitely wasn’t for him. That was about when Jon became aware of the weird lump under his leg.

A backpack.

Shit.

“I’m so sorry.” Jon scrambled to his feet, brushing any grass or dirt off his sweatpants. He was careful for the disrupt the bag anymore than he already had.

“You should be.” The lower register voice made Jon unintentionally wince -- Please don’t start a fight right now -- He look at the person belonging to the backpack.

A guy sat on top of jacket, as if he were using it as a picnic blanket of sorts. He wore a rather comfortable looking green sweater, despite it being a nice, seventy six degree day. As Jon’s eyes traced over the figure under the sweater, taking note of how naturally tanned the guy’s skin was, leading up to the mans face and -- Oh… Oh that was a death glare if he’d ever seen one.

It was then that Jon realized he was also stepping on something, well, somethings to be exact. He took a step back and kneeled to pick up an assortment of what he was pretty sure were charcoal pencils. “Um… here.” He handed them to the guy.

This guy stared at Jon for a moment before reaching out with one color-covered hand, palm out flat. Jon dropped the pencils in the hand, being careful not to get any of whatever that ink was on his own hands. He watched as the individual organized the charcoal next to a box of what looked like oil pastels. Well, that explained the color.

“Sorry again.” Jon felt kinda sheepish. “It won’t happen again. I’ll yell at the guy who threw the ball, and uh… yell at myself for falling.”

The fellow sighed. “I didn’t think I’d be in the way when I sat here.”

“You’re not! I promise this was a one time fluke.”

Hazel eyes seemed to study Jon’s face to see if he was really sincere or not. “I’ll take your word for it.” The man then picked up a sketch book that had been resting on the grass next to him, and leaned it carefully against his knees.

Suddenly, something clicked in Jon’s head. “Oh! You’re that dude who’s always drawing here!”

“Excuse me?” The guy rose an eyebrow, and for some reason Jon suddenly felt a bit flustered.

“No I mean,” He took a step back, trying to actually think before he spoke. “I just see you here a lot. Like, during practice I’ll look and and it’s like, boom, you’re there.”

The other male let out a sigh, turning his attention away from the moronic quarterback, and back to his artwork. “I suppose I’m here often.”

“You are.” Yeah that sounds about right Kent. Tell the guy exactly how often he’s here. That’s just a fantastic idea. “I mean, well, I notice that you are.” There was an awkward bit of silence, where this other student was probably just trying to ignore Jon’s presence on that hill. Rightfully so. He was definitely just bothering the guy. “So… Do you always draw the team?”

“No.” The answer was short and simple, but one glance upward must have allowed the man to see just how painfully curious Jon was. “Sometimes I draw what’s in front of me, sometimes I draw based on assignments, sometimes I just draw whatever comes to mind first.”

“That’s so cool.” He peaked over the edge of the sketchbook once more to get a look at the work in progress. “You’re really good.”

“Thank you.”

Jon was about to open his big mouth all over again, probably to make another dumb comment, when his coach’s voice suddenly boomed over the whole field. “Kent! Stop flirting and get back over here!”

“Yes Coach!” Jon called back over his shoulder. “Uh… I’ll catch you later?”

“Perhaps.” The artist shrugged. “Goodbye, Kent.”

For some reason, that just brought a grin to the junior’s face. “It’s Jon, actually. Kent’s my last name.”

“Alright then. Goodbye, Jon.”

“Can’t I get your name first?”

The man looked up from his work with a sigh, making eye contact with the football player once more. “Damian.”

Practice ended rather uneventfully, with the usual post-training pre-game huddle Coach Stone always made them do. Supposedly it boasted moral until the more official motivational speech in the locker room, but Jon didn’t know enough about psychology to say one way or another. The members of the team started branching off, each going back to their bags to collect their things and head out. As Jon was heading back to his own bag, he looked up and noticed that the artist from before was starting to pack up his things as well.

“Hey!” Jon ran over to Damian, before the other was fully packed up. “Wait a sec.”

Damian didn’t slow as he put placed a piece of wax paper between the pages in his sketchbook, and closed it. “What do you want?”

“Are you going to the game tonight?” Jon awkwardly adjusted the strap of his gym bag over his shoulder.

Damian looked him over, then, he carefully put the sketchbook in his messenger bag. “I doubt it.”

There was a very good change that Jon looked like a kicked puppy. A pout grew on his face. Childish? Maybe. But if it works, it works. “Why not?”

The art student shrugged. “I never purchased a ticket. Besides, I’m not so interested in sports events.”

“I can get you a ticket.” H flashed a grin. “And you could just come and draw or something?”

That got a puzzled look in response. “You want me to come to your game, and not watch it?”

The quarterback shifted, rocking back onto his heels, then to his toes. “Why not? Can’t a guy want to see a pretty face in the crowd?” He studied the expression on Damian’s face, noticing the change from confusion, to what he dared to call fluster.

“How--” Damian coughed into his hand. “How will I get the ticket?”

The smile on Jon’s face would have split his head in two. “I’ll leave it at Will Call for you.”

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svartalfhild · 6 years

Text

2018, I Won’t Miss You

A.k.a. I call out this year for all the ways it fucked me over and reflect on a few good experiences.

This year was the first year I’ve ever had a smart phone, which ended up being pretty damn useful, even essential at some points. However, the counterbalance was that I had to go through finding out how to live in a post-school existence, and that was not pretty, because it put me at all new levels of social isolation and uncertainty. I stressed super hard about finding a new job. I ultimately didn’t get one and lost hours at my current job because I thought I was going to be transitioning to a better job at a toy store, but they laid me off only a few weeks after hiring me to replace me with someone with better availability. They said I could stay on as a “seasonal worker” but it’s past Christmas and I haven’t been asked to fill a single shift since they benched me in September, so saying I still work there is kind of a joke at this point.

The good news is, despite the stress of failing to get a better job, I’ve added art as an occasional source of extra income, starting with doing the cover illustration for a short story my mother published earlier this year and later with opening commissions to the online community.

My mental health didn’t have a super great year, though, especially in the first half. On top of the job bullshit and the dealing with not knowing how to live life without school, I was feeling intensely bleak about my existence. I was in an excruciating amount of emotional pain because of things I couldn’t control, and it festered because I had the free time to ruminate about how lonely and dejected I felt. I hadn’t felt quite that bad in several years, actually. It’s hard to compete with the shit I was going through in middle school, but this came alarmingly close.

I think my biggest mistake was trying to force myself to be fine again as soon as possible when it took me a couple years to get past the shit that plagued me when I was 12. I honestly think, though, that there was a little while there from about July to late September when I was coping pretty well. I don’t know what happened in late spring to make that happen, but I was in a state of higher functioning for a bit in the summer.

The sad thing is that here at the end of the year, I am once again struggling with the same shit; I’m just a whole lot better with how that affects my behaviour towards other people now. I do feel like I’ve learned how to better interact with people and shield those I love from the worst of my mental health nonsense. In turn, I think that has greatly improved my relationships and made me less prone to beating myself up over the things I say. Progress.

And hey! I did manage to do some pretty rad things this year, despite all the crap my physical and mental health were hefting onto me. I got on a plane for the first time and traveled by myself to Oregon to be with some of my closest friends, who I’d only ever known through the internet before. We went to a convention together and had a really awesome time getting our asses kicked at AtlA themed dodgeball dressed as our DnD characters. I went through a haunted house for the first time and found out that I’m too rational to be scared by a lot of that sort of stuff (but it was still fun). I got to go to huge bookstore and see a first American edition of Fellowship of the Ring. I think the best part of that whole trip, though, was just living with friends and getting a taste of what life without my family’s control could be like. For once in my life, I trusted that everyone and everything was going to be okay, and for a few days, I was really happy. Because of that, though, I spent a lot of the day that I left crying or trying not to cry. Having so much of what you want and then having to leave it is...really upsetting, as it turns out.

But anyway. I also managed to complete an application to grad school, so even though my whole Find A Good Job plan didn’t work, I still took a step towards some kind of life goal and I don’t have to have a total existential crisis just yet. I don’t have high expectations about being accepted, but I do have some hopes and that’s something I can hold onto going into next year.

A lot changed with my family this past year. Dealing with the wake of my grandfather’s sudden death was a major issue all year that seemed almost handled until my grandmother died just a couple months ago, which threw everything back into chaos and despair. Death and loss have been an awful theme for me this year in general. On top of my grandparents’ deaths, my dad’s best friend committed suicide, and a friend of mine, who I know to have been suicidal in the past, completely disappeared from the internet when I wasn’t looking, and I was unable to track her down to find out if she was okay. Other friends lost people who were dear to them as well. The world was ravaged by increasingly terrible disasters on top of that. Needless to say, my empathy circuits are fucking fried.

Thankfully, life handed me some pretty great distractions from its bullshit, like an awesome DnD campaign and lots of time with assorted other TTRPGs, or numerous video games like Pillars of Eternity II: Deadire, Fallout 4, and Overwatch. Netflix brought me countless hours of enjoyment, and my brother got me to watch all of Stargate SG1 with him, which I wasn’t super into at first, but it grew on me. I started knitting again for the first time in years, because I love knitting scarves for people. I did a lot of fic writing, but it wasn’t really fanfiction so much as additional content for my tabletop games. Same goes for art.

It’s been over a year now since I’ve posted any proper fanfic or fanart, which feels weird, but I think I’ve become so exhausted with the politics of being a fan content creator that I haven’t had the motivation for it. It’s much easier to keep your passion for something going when you don’t hope to attract the attention of thousands of people, and instead you’re making things for a story you made up with your closest friends. The only people whose attention you need to care about then are a handful of people who are already inherently invested.

Of course, that’s not to say that I don’t get sad about my work sometimes anyway, regardless of what I’m creating and for whom. Depression is and has been a real dick this year, and it made me procrastinate on my grad app manuscript to the point where I had to stress years off my life cramming the creation of a 10k word original short story into a single month just before the deadline. I managed it, though, and that’s the important thing.

I don’t know what to expect from 2019 except more nonsense, because there’s always copious amounts of nonsense. Having high expectations, given what the past few years have been like, seems rather silly at this point. I suppose what the new year shapes up to be will largely hinge on whether I get accepted to grad school in March or not. If I do, then it’ll be a year of big change in my life, going away to live on my own in a different state. If I don’t, then it’ll just be More Of Same, still living with my parents, working part-time at a shit food service job, looking for a new job, and tearing my hair out trying to get everything together for more grad school applications.

One way or the other, though, I intend to try to finally get treatment for my mental illness. I am tired of being like this and I’m tired of having my memory and focus abilities steadily destroyed by this shit. If anything goes right next year, let it be that.

#personal

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softnorwegians · 7 years

Note

Hi Top, how nice to have you back with us! Has your apartment situation improved? I just wanted to ask your opinion on something- I saw your old post about the first Isak Even scene in season 4 and how happy we all were to see the change in Isak. But then I read a discussion on Twitter where everyone was talking about Isak being ooc in season 4. And in my opinion, he is not?! He is just in a much better place, and that can do a lot to a persons character. The only (part 1)

action I could agree seems a bit occ is the fight, but I could even see that happening along the line of Michael approaching Even, Even reacting badly/scared, not wanting to talk, Isak being full of adrenaline after the karaoke pushing him away hard, Elias reacting impulsively, and presto, a bloody nose. It’s like those Twitter people don’t take into account character development. (Part 2)

Wow, thank you for remembering my personal drama, I’m sorry I’ve made all the people just wanting to talk Skam follow along, ajshfjkdfh! But yes, how could you tell things were going better! 😄 I really did think that maybe I had skammed for the last time but one photo of them in-character and I’m on quite a kick again~

Hmmm, yeah, that’s such a good question and one I’ve asked myself about season four too. I think it’s tough to answer because what’s the line between ‘ooc’ and ‘character development’? Basically, if you don’t buy something new based on what you’ve seen of a character, that’s going to be what you feel is ‘ooc’ and if you do buy it, great, the character has been expanded. That really is subjective. For me personally, it kind of goes:

Okay, I can definitely get behind Isak and Even living together because home and belonging are both long-standing themes with him. I can definitely believe he’s a lot happier and therefore more chill about things and I think it makes sense for him to be snarkier again because that weight is off of him now. So yeah, I agree that I think people don’t allow for how much his personality was altered and smothered by his circumstances (and his insomnia, possibly his own mood disorders) when we knew him in s3.

The problem is that when Even’s plotline in season four starts to go off the rails, it brings Isak’s characterization with it. Because they set up this whole thread of Isak wondering about Even’s past and Even being scared of him finding out… and then never emotionally resolved it. It’s the worst because of the climax of that ends up being the fight and ajkshkjdh! The fight is just unforgivably bad writing because they never do what you just did, they never explain and justify what happened. We’re left instead with “I got jealous” which, for me, is straight up character assassination because way to throw Isak’s character under the bus?? As well as Elias, by letting Sana think it could have been motivated by homophobia this whole time?? Listen, they never even bothered to sell us a story about the fight, so no wonder I just do not buy it. It wound up being there for the shock value. They skip straight from “this fight just happened!!” to “oh yeah, it was for this vague reason, I guess, let’s forget it my bad”. It’s not like they couldn’t have sold me on something like you said, something where Isak got super in someone’s face because he perceived them as pushing in on a vulnerable Even. That could have fit in with the protective role Isak took up in the last ep of s3 and even continued the thread left open that he might have trouble navigating those boundaries. I could have bought it. But they didn’t use it to develop any of the characters, other than putting this so called “jealous to the point of violence” on Isak and imho, that’s the most egregious thing they did to him. If anything, we did have evidence in canon that Isak doesn’t like physical confrontational from him standing in the back yelling during the whole Yakuza thing so like… we needed to be sold on how this diverged. Instead we get ‘jealous’ hammered on not once but twice and this odd assertion that Isak has anger issues lingering and reinforced by the last clip with them.

And then I haaaated the conversation with Sana on the bench but that’s a case where maybe I might hate it but still buy it? Because ultimately Isak is a young white guy in a country that prides itself as being very progressive (and therefore above issues sometimes, imho), so… it’s a believable thing for him to fuck up and whitesplain racism. I mean, I still find it a bit of a disappointing choice for his character because a big part of his growth in s3 was him saying something and needing to be educated (with Eskild in ‘Pride’ and with his statement in ‘Pause’ and general attitude towards mental illness having huuuge consequences with Even) so it kind of felt like it might have been a nice progression to see him having learned from that and not stick his foot in his mouth this time! But yeah, I don’t think that necessarily means he wouldn’t have done it, my main issue with that scene is that the show itself clearly thinks he’s in the right. It just sucks we already had one unbelievable negative trait just added to his character and now the unfortunate-but-believable one just really sends the bus rolling over you again and… ouch.

My only other thing is that, personally, I found some things this season a little too fanservice-y and therefore ooc. Like, I’m not a huge fan of ‘gul gardiner’ as the wifi password or putting so many fanart references. It just added to the feeling of unreality, that they didn’t break out enough and paint Isak/Even in their own colors. I don’t have a huge issue with it (I like a lot of it, those two things are the only ones that are really too far for me) but I could see how that would contribute to the niggling feeling of ooc. Plus that terrible party at the end of ep 8, lol

But, yeah, ultimately I think we’re mostly on the same page? I don’t think that Isak is ooc throughout the season, I just really cannot accept the rationale for the fight at all. And then there’s other patches where I’m ehhhhhh on the choices made for him or a little put off by the fanservice but I can kind of skate past them. But when you stop trusting the writing, like what happened with s4 and a lot of the Skam fandom, you stop trusting them to be the characters you know. And that was a problem with more than just Isak for me. It kind of felt like I had locked blades with Julie Andem sometimes and there was all this grinding tension as she tried to get me to see things as she did within the show. Which makes it a little easy to label things as ‘ooc’ and want to split off the character from themselves-as-you-later-know-them.

#anon #replies #skam #isak valtersen #criticism #okay I stayed up too late writing this and am going to SLEEP #hopefully people won't hate me in the morning lol #as I queue this to post #who knew I even still had this much to say about this show!!#it's because I usually hold back on my negative opinions in the moment and am only honest about them later #s4 7.10 part 6 #s4 5.10 part 5 #s4 6.10 part 5

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chleprice · 7 years

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I’m not really sure how I’m going to put how much Orphan Black means me in to words. This is probably going to be all over the place. I’m sorry for that. I just feel the need to attempt to put my thoughts down.

Four years ago, I stumbled across a scene from Orphan Black. I remember this had been a show everyone was talking about on Tumblr.

I was curious and decided to watch the scene to see if it was worth the hype. At that point, the only characters I knew of where Kira, Sarah, Siobhan, and Felix. I was clueless to the amazing and wonderful trip I was getting myself into.

I watched the first season within one or two days and joined the hype for season two.

I wasn’t aware I’d discovered a show that would develop into my favorite show of all time. This is one of the rare shows that I can watch over and over again, and not tire of it. I’ve marathoned the show several times in preparation for new seasons. I also got my sister hooked on the show. It’s given me something that my sister and I have bonded over the past few years.

The Clone Club is unlike any other fandom I’ve ever been in. I’ve never felt a closeness with a group of people like did with this fandom. Thanks to the Clone Club, I’ve finally found somewhere I feel like I belong. A place where I don’t have to hide who I am because “my sexuality is not the most interesting thing about me”. I went through a time where I felt that because I my sexuality, I was sick or my thinking was wrong. I was told by people that I didn’t like girls… and that the right guy just hadn’t come along yet. For almost 6 years, I felt the need to punish myself, by self-harming, over something that I couldn’t change.

It’s amazing to have finally found a place where I don’t feel like I’m wrong or stupid because of my sexuality. Seeing a cast that is so supportive of the LGBT+ fans that are watching their show is really amazing and so important to me.

Everyone I’ve encountered in the Clone Club, so far, has been so generous and supportive. We reblog/like each other’s head canons, fanfics, fanart, edits… etc… and we’re even lucky enough to have an official Orphan Black tumblr, that interacts and reblogs the Clone Club’s posts.

I remember being worried about how "I’d survive the show being off" but, Clone Club has made it a little less painful.

I’m just so thankful to have found such an amazing female driven show with wonderful characters. Character’s that have depth and aren’t just used a side-kicks.

I’m thankful for the actors and actresses, the writers, the crew, and anyone else involved that made this profound show possible. I’m also thankful for the amazing fandom.

I’m thankful to have finally found a place where I feel safe to express my thoughts. I’m thankful that I get to be in a fandom who isn’t judgmental of my sexuality and I’m thankful that I’m not based on who I am because of my sexuality.

I’m just very thankful to have found a place where like I belong. Thank you, Clone Club, Orphan Black, and the cast, crew and writers of Orphan Black for giving me this.

Thank you Clone Club, for giving me a place where I felt I belonged. Thank you for giving me somewhere to call home.

#Orphan Black #FarewellOrphanBlack #Farewell Orphan Black #personal #mine #long pst //#ah does this even make sense???

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nickireadstfc · 7 years

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The Foxhole Court, Chapter 11 – Orange Sportsball Gets The Fuck Real

In which the Foxes play their first match of the season, I have questions about American college sports, my Percy Jackson obsession has a brief cameo, and I’m sadly less excited about Actual Sportsball Games than I should be.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Foxhole Court.

Thursday’s excitement had nothing on Friday’s. The whole school got decked out overnight with vibrant orange and white streamers. Ribbons and banners hung off every sidewalk lamp. Live student bands took over the amphitheater for short concerts and the student newspaper released that morning gave details for the afternoon parade.

Is that, like…………. Normal behavior on game days?? Actual American high school/college students, please confirm. Is this an actual thing???

I mean, I know y’all are big on sports and school spirit, but this big??

Please understand my confusion: At my school, no one fucking gave a shit about the sports teams. I didn’t even know when anyone had games/competitions unless we got told afterwards who won what brilliant award now, and even then like 5% of us cared. And I can’t speak for my uni yet, but I’m pretty sure it’s the same there as well. Do German unis even have sports teams?

I always liked to make fun of High School Musical 3 for having those giant ass banners displaying the athletes hanging in the halls. I am now starting to realize that might be perfectly normal for American schools.

What the fuck.

Also, Neil officially came out now – as a member of the Foxes, that is, of course.

Neil wanted to cut class and hide at Fox Tower until game time, but athletes weren’t allowed to call out without a legitimate medical excuse. Someone from the athletics committee went around all day counting heads through classroom windows, and Wymack would be the first to hear Neil was absent.

They seriously stalk their students all day in fear they might be skipping class? And these students are in college, they are grown adults, not 14-year-olds. Again, is this a thing, what the fuck??

Then again, we’re talking about the country who invented hall passes. This is probably not the craziest thing around.

Fortunately, the Foxes decide to display their first sign of group solidarity in these trying times and guide Neil from class to class. This is a really small detail, but I love it.

I’m imagining Neil as a lil baby duck who obediently follows a big spikey-haired Matt duck, a small white-pastel-y Renee duck or a glamorous blonde Allison duck, wagging behind them in a tiny duck-sized jersey.

Although, when you think about it, they’re all just lil baby ducks following a big Wymack momma duck.

(Someone draw me fanart, I’m BEGGING YOU.)

I’m getting off track. Back to the plot.

Andrew hadn’t lied to Neil back in May. In almost every article that talked of Neil’s pathetic experience Kevin was quoted as having high hopes for him. Kevin really had said that Neil would one day be Court.

Because this is the second time this has come up: What exactly does “being Court” mean?? Like, being Captain? Being MVP? Also, is this a regular sports expression or is is Exy-exclusive? Exyclusive?? Help.

A small silver lining of future hilariousness appears on the horizon: An Exy kickoff banquet is going to happen sometime in the next few chapter, and I am HYPED. This chaotic mess of a team + all their rivals + dates + drinks can only equal a Massive Fun Time™.

Fun for us, not for them, might I add. I am dying to see this.

“[Renee] hasn’t asked [Andrew] yet, but it’s inevitable. (…) Money’s on the table as to whether or not he says yes. Pot’s getting pretty big, so get your bet in fast.”

The only thing the Foxes had in common besides Exy and hardship was their strange obsession with betting on the stupidest things. Neil had figured that out only two weeks into practice. A week didn’t go by when there wasn’t money on something or another.

A team after my own heart <3 Can I join? I can never find anyone to bet on dumb things in my own circle of friends.

Will I throw this piece of paper in the bin on my first shot? Will the bus be late? Will Friend A and B hook up tonight? Will I lose my (nonexistent) emotional sanity to this series before the last book is over?

I don’t know about the others, but the last one is 100% happening.

“There’s something we haven’t told you yet,” Dan said. (…) “So Andrew’s technically legally required to take his medication, right? (…) He struck a bargain of his own with Coach. The only reason he signed with us is because Coach agreed to let him come off his drugs for game nights.”

Is this supposed to come as a big plot twist? Because I kind of saw that coming. 10 bucks says Andrew comes off his meds for all Important Moments.

*insert yet another rant about the negative portrayal of mental health meds as barbaric mind-numbing, mania-inducing ~happy pills~ here*

Anyways, back to game day!! Our beloved foxy nutcases are playing against the Breckenridge Jackals, which is shaping up to be a Fun Time™ as they are apparently the biggest bullies around (second only to the Edgar Allan Murder Mob Clique, of course).

However, when faced with his impending wipe-out on the court, our favourite Sassmaster McSavage reaches new levels of Hell Fuckin Yeah:

“[Gorilla] will break every bone in your body if you give him the chance.”

“Don’t worry, though,” Matt said. “He’ll probably be too busy killing Kevin and Seth to notice you.”

“This is my reassured face,” Neil said, pointing up at his blank expression.

SAVAGE.

I actually laughed so hard at that. This is some Percy Jackson level of sass right there.

Come to think about it, I want the entire AFTG series narrated by Percy Jackson, especially the chapter titles.

“I Am Offered A Foxy Deal”

“My Troubled Past Comes Back To Haunt My Ass”

“I Get Dragged Into Some Gay Shit”

“We Kick Serious Jackal Butt, Sort Of”

Remind me to make a full post of that once I’ve finished the series.

Off topic again. Sorry.

Before we finally begin the actual match (and wow, it’s 1.1k words already), Nicky seems to finally get the mental slaps I’ve been sending him since a few chapters ago:

Nicky looked at Neil. “Hey,” he said, sounding uncharacteristically hesitant. “We haven’t really had a chance to talk after… Well. I wanted to say sorry, but I kept chickening out. Are we okay?”

“I don’t know yet,” Neil said.

Nicky weighed that for a minute, then sighed and said, “Fair enough.”

Deep sigh. Who are we kidding, I can never resist a self-aware comic relief, Nicky, you’re still one of my faves. At least he knows he fucked up.

And now, finally: It’s Orange Sportsball time!!

Time for fast-paced sports action, balls flying, racquets hitting, body-checks left and right, a flurry of energy and emotion… that I simply can’t get behind.

I’m sorry, you guys, but I found myself having to double- and triple-read passages here in order to keep up with who is standing where, who is passing to whom and just generally what exactly is going on. Maybe it has to do with my own lack of interest for any sports involving balls (or actually any sports that isn’t dance, cheer, or anything involving performance), but I’m not really excited about this whole game part, to put it mildly.

Don’t get me wrong: I am loving the emotions attached to it. Solidarity, passion, group dynamics and character development shown on the field, give me all that good shit. I just couldn’t care less about who’s passing to who. Forgive me.

Did someone say passion and group dynamics?

Neil’d watched his teammates fall apart to in-fighting all summer long, but now he finally saw them as a whole. As much as the Foxes disliked each other at times, they disliked their opponents more. They were still too fractured to be truly great, but they were good enough to give him chills.

This is shaping up to be good, you guys.

I can only imagine the sheer gloriousness in the upcoming books when Kandreil finally get their shit together and play on the field as a beautiful unstoppable three-way killing machine. I WILL DIE.

Twenty minutes into the game, Seth is crushed against a wall by three hundred pounds of pure douchebaggery – and I actually do feel sorry for him, not gonna lie – which means it’s time for the moment we’ve all been waiting for:

“Going on for Seth Gordon is freshman Neil Josten, number ten, of Millport, Arizona.”

Neil wondered if casket lids sounded like court doors being shut.

Ah yes, thank you for reminding me, even in the face of impending doom, how incredibly extra our boy Josten is.

“A national champion and an amateur? South Carolina’s gotten even crazier than usual.”

“An amateur and a cripple, you mean,” the dealer said.

Andrew slammed his racquet against the goal, making several athletes jump and drawing more than a few wary looks his way.

This is such a small detail but it’s the /best/. Nobody insults my boyfriends in front of me, fuckface.

Bla bla bla more sports bla bla, I’m putting everything remotely interesting that’s happening in a bullet list because let’s be honest, it’s not fucking much.

Neil scores! Twice! Good boy.

Matt takes a card for the team by punching the fuck out of Gorilla, what a babe.

Also, his mom is a professional boxer? When can we meet her. I’m always a sucker for strong women who could kick my ass.

Gorilla has been hitting Kevin’s hand on purpose all the time, which is not cool, yet not surprising, ain’t no honour in Exy injuries, apparently.

That is it, my dudes.

Writing the next chapter on a coach (yet again) as I’ll be visiting some friends in NRW, so I’ll be coming to you live from my Prime Flixbus Office Space, let’s see how that works out. Till next time, ily all. <3

#tfc #the foxhole court #the raven king #the kings men #nora sakavic #nicki reads tfc #would you look at that!!! I'm on time!!!!#amazing #don't get used to it

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movietvtechgeeks · 7 years

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Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/misha-collins-gives-classic-supernatural-interview/

Misha Collins gives a classic 'Supernatural' interview

As I’m about to have a new book about Supernatural released on May 9 (Family Don’t End With Blood: Cast and Fans on How Supernatural Has Changed Lives which you can get here), I’m reflecting back on some of my many conversations with the Supernatural cast over the past decade. Getting to know this special group of actors, as well as the extraordinary group of people that is the Supernatural fandom, is what gave me the idea for the new book. I knew that fans had powerful stories about how the show had changed (or even saved) their lives; from chatting with the actors over the years, I knew that they did too. So I thought I’d share some of those interviews here – take a trip down memory lane, as it were. First up, Misha Collins! Misha wrote a special essay for Family Don’t End With Blood, but it isn’t the first time he’s contributed to our books. He wrote a powerful (and amusing) chapter in our last book, Fan Phenomena: Supernatural, too. And he contributed to Fangasm: Supernatural Fangirls. In fact, he had the last word in that book, which made him happy. Way back in 2012, we posted some excerpts from our first meeting with Misha. We didn’t know him at all then, so let’s just say he was full of surprises—and that we had a very good time indeed. Check out when we interviewed Lynn on her own Supernatural experiences. Check out exclusive excerpts from Lynn's upcoming book! So, here's Misha Collins in all his glory speaking straight from the heart. We first sat down with Collins shortly after he joined the cast, and before he had any clue what “fandom” was all about – or even that Supernatural had so many passionate fans! We had spent the day on the Supernatural set, doing interviews for some articles in Supernatural Magazine, so by the time we returned to our hotel at Vancouver’s lovely Sutton Place, it was already late – not too late though, we hoped with some trepidation, for our scheduled interview with Collins. We’d been seriously impressed by Castiel’s dramatic introduction to the show, and his already powerful connection with Dean, and couldn’t wait to chat with the actor who portrayed him. Our set van pulled up to Sutton Place behind the one transporting Misha, and when he jumped out, we were completely caught off guard by how much the actor didn’t look like the character. Obviously the lack of trenchcoat was instrumental, but frankly, we just didn’t expect Collins to be so — well, attractive! Dressed in faded vintage flare jeans and a gauzy shirt, he looked like he’d just stepped out of the 70s, which was a very good look on him indeed. Add to that a beaming smile instead of Castiel’s uber stern verging-on-constipated expression, and damn, who knew! An hour later, we joined Collins in Sutton Place’s cozy bar, Gerard’s, for a drink and what was scheduled to be a half hour interview. Misha had just been booked for his first Supernatural convention, so he kicked off the interview by asking us what to expect, since no one had prepared him. Which seemed odd to us, since he certainly had a few convention experts at his disposal. Lynn: No? Did you ask Jared and Jensen — because they’ve been to a million. Misha: Yes, but I didn’t get a clear picture. Maybe they didn’t want to scare me. It’s an unusual phenomenon? In your opinions? Kathy: There have been other shows popular enough for conventions, of course, but Supernatural seems different. The dedication and also the level of involvement really is what impresses us. Not just watching the show, but writing meta-analysis of the show, fabulous fanfiction, screencap by screencap analysis of scenes…. We just came from an interview with (propmaster) Chris Cooper, and talking with him about the little tiny things fans pick up on. They know that you have to find the exact same thing you used in season 1 and bring it back in season 4 because fans screencap it and say hey, it’s not the same. (Not us, alas. We’re oblivious. You could probably replace the Impala with a hybrid and we wouldn’t notice. JUST KIDDING! But seriously, our friend Mary once realized that a scene of Sam and Dean burning bones at a graveyard was footage from a previous episode. And she was RIGHT!) Misha: It is amazing the level of creative input, not just the nitpicking continuity questions, but the creative input. Now that we were five minutes into our allotted thirty and had not yet managed to ask one measly question from our handy dandy prepared notes, Misha hijacked the interview once again to ask another. This constantly happens to us in interviews, which we used to think was due to the fact that we’re an English professor and a psychologist, not journalists, and thus we fail at journalistic rigor. Luckily their questions are as interesting as ours anyway at least half the time. Misha: Can I ask one more question, then you can ask your questions? Us: Oh, sure, no problem, of course. (Really, who would say no to those blue eyes??) Misha: From a psychological vantage point, what needs is this fulfilling? Leave it to Misha to ask a question that took us an entire BOOK to answer. He’s now got it all in one handy dandy place in Fandom At The Crossroads. At the time, we were only beginning our research for that book, but we laid out our theories about the supportive, normalizing, validating role that the fan community plays, and the ways in which creative expression like fanfiction, vidding, and fanart can be for play, celebration and fun – and for exploring identity, self expression, even working through trauma, with the fan community a kind of group therapy experience. Collins, we have to say, listened much more intently than most of our students. Alas. Misha: That’s very interesting. Kathy: Most fans kind of get into fandom because it’s a way to be accepted. So if you’re passionate about a television show, most people outside of that community will look at you and say “Get a life”. Within that community, it’s a conversation about people and places. That’s where we started and just really wanted to be. Lynn: The other weird thing about this fandom is, the more we’ve researched it, the more we realize that it’s a very reciprocal fandom. The creative side — the actors, writers, production office, directors, the art department –they interact with the fans directly and in a very respectful way. This is a smart, educated, older fandom. It’s not 10 year old kids who don’t know what their boundaries should be. So they’ve really built up this really reciprocal, active relationship. Misha: That’s very interesting. At this point, we realized we were now halfway through our allotted time, and Misha had mostly fixed us with those puppy eyes and kept us talking with “that’s very interesting” interjections. Damn!! We started to wonder if we’d been compelled-by-an-angel. Breaking eye contact with difficulty, we attempted to change the interview back to US interviewing HIM. Lynn: You must have had some interactions with the Supernatural fans. Misha: You know, I’ve received fan mail and it’s actually, I don’t know why, but previously my fan mail was coming from the US prison systems. Inmates were writing me. Lynn: (at the time utterly clueless about Misha’s propensity for teasing with a completely straight face….) Wait, what? Was that because you were on ‘24’ or what? Yes, those are Lynn’s incredible powers of hypothesizing. Misha: (still with that totally serious face, ensuring that Lynn would continue to look like a moron….) Honestly, I don’t know. I assume it must have been 24. Lynn: (continues to look like…..yeah yeah, whatever.) Misha: (realizing we’re going to, sadly, remain clueless….) Well this will be different because it seems like actual letters from people who really have a personal investment in getting a response, which gives it a different tenor to the writing than someone trying to collect a random collection of autographs that have no sort of personal meaning. Other than that, I’ve been approached on the street, there’s no way for me to tell if they’ve been avid fans or people who just watch the show. They were very respectful and positive. Kathy: This is an interesting fandom, because they don’t always take well to new characters in the show, they pretty much want the show to be about the boys. Your character is an exception, almost immediately the fandom took to this new character. We’ve never seen this before. Misha: (deadpans) You’ve hated the character. Lynn (beginning to get with the program): Did we say that?! Misha: (grinning) I think part of that has to do with the build up, being receptive to Castiel. It was such an inherent piece of the story. The character is a super character, a super cool character, it was a super cool introduction to the character. Lynn: Talk about drama! And it doesn’t hurt that there is a great deal of chemistry between Castiel and Dean. Misha: The scenes that we’ve had together, there’s something that clicks and they’re easy, the way we interact with each other. Lynn: There is, yes, in Castiel’s interactions with Dean. I always wonder how much of it you can feel in the moment. Could you tell if it’s going to be good, how it will play out on the screen? Misha: No, never. I’m not very good at telling. I think they’re really right on. I think the things that are horrible actually turn out to be the best. Lynn (deadpans): Luckily you’re not doing the editing. Misha: (who can take it as well as he can give it) Right. I don’t know why, but there’s always a certain intensity, like a quiet intensity that seems to organically comes out when we’re (Cas and Dean) doing scenes. We pointed out that for some reason, the Cas and Dean scenes, especially early on, were set up in a very intimate way, with lots of whispered conversation and emotion-packed stares and glares. Fandom, predictably, was almost immediately captivated by the character and his relationship with Dean. Kathy: The first online community devoted to Castiel (and Dean) was created within 42 minutes of the character’s introduction. Misha: (deadpan) Why do you think it took so long? Maybe the servers were down or something. We took a break when food and drink arrived, and somehow Misha once again took up question-asking instead of question-answering. Misha: So is that stuff mostly on Live Journal? What is Live Journal? How gigantic is it? How many people in the domestic US belong to these communities, about 10,000 people, or 100,000 people? As you can see, Misha is an excellent interviewer. It took us about ten minutes to realize we were once again being interviewed instead of interviewing, and to determinedly turn the tables back. Did he have any idea, when he auditioned for Supernatural, how passionate the fandom was? Misha: I had no idea what I was walking into. I had no idea when I went into audition. Lynn (grabbing the chance to ask one of our many still-unasked questions): Oh hey, that’s one of our questions! What made you audition for this role? Misha: The desire for a job. I think I didn’t even realize until after the audition what it was for, I thought it was a guest star. My manager told me, but I wasn’t paying attention. It was a demon that I was auditioning for. Kripke didn’t want it to get out to fandom (that Castiel was an angel). He gave me a little direction, after I did the demon version once, he gave me a little direction to change it to be an angel, and he told me they hadn’t been down on earth for two thousand years so there would be a quality of just looking at humans as though they were strange alien beings. Lynn: You do that so well. Psychologists are always trying to read people’s non-verbals. And there’s this subtle sort of little twist you do, regarding people a little too long and sort of speaking a little more slowly, because you’re not sure of your footing. It’s very subtle, but it’s very there. Misha: Cool. It’s fun to play with that. Lynn: Castiel is a complicated character and I think fans like that too because he’s not — you can’t really peg him. Is he good? Is he not good? He’s a sympathetic character but he can be a bastard. Does he like Dean, does he hate Dean, does he want to take Dean apart? Misha: (deadpans) Does he want to take Dean to bed? Lynn: (nearly spits her drink all over her interview notes). Excellent question! Both of us (silently): Everyone wants to take Dean to bed….. Kathy: (recovering from the take-Dean-to-bed visuals first) So, has anyone told you anything about what the conventions are like? Misha: No. I’ve never been to one. Kathy: Well, there will be thousands of people. And as soon as you walk out onto the stage there will be clapping and cheering. Misha: Sounds like a fantasy. Kathy: It does, doesn’t it? Then you’ll have to answer their questions on the spot. Misha: I have a friend who was on the last Star Trek series and he was telling me about his conventions a few years ago, and I was thinking, wow, I hope my career never comes to that. Then I got the first call and I was like, WHAT???? FANTASTIC, I can handle this, sign me up! At the time, Misha had just filmed his acrobatic guest spot on Nip/Tuck, and there was a clip on Youtube which the SPN fandom was loving. For obvious reasons. Misha: My barber found it and when I went in for my hair cut, he said your Nip/ Tuck clip had like more than 30,000 hits — oh, and it’s airing next week. I didn’t know it. I said, how the hell did you know that? It was a pretty weird role. When I shot it, before I was shooting this, I thought it would be under the radar. Famous last thoughts. Lynn: That’s pretty funny. And even after having been on things like 24, because that’s a pretty popular show, it doesn’t have the sort of concentrated fan base that this show has. This is something different for you. Misha: Totally different. Interesting, because something like 24, there’s more people watching me, but no one interviewing me. Lynn: No, exactly. Not watching you in the same way. I mean, I don’t want to make you paranoid…. Misha: You are! Lynn (evil grin): Am I doing a good job? Yes, that’s what we do. Misha: I think it makes me take it a little more seriously. It sort of makes it feel like a bit more of a responsibility. It’s just not some junk that people are half watching. There’s a bit more devotion on the receiving end. This may be totally out of line, but it feels like Jared and Jensen sort of feel that way with the cast and crew. Just the sense that they’re being watched. I haven’t got that kind of attention myself, so that’s good so far. Kathy: You will at the convention. The Supernatural conventions are like a self-contained universe, and it’s a different universe. There within that universe, you’re a celebrity. Misha: That’s funny how when they send the contracts they mention security, and I thought, I’m certainly not going to need that! At this point in the interview (of which we’ve only included excerpts), you may be thinking that surely our allotted thirty minutes had long past. You would be right. This didn’t occur to either us or Collins as we sat in Gerard’s trading interviewer duties, however. It was Misha’s turn again. Misha: Let me just go back to that last point, being scrutinized by the fans. The other thing is, seeing how nasty they are to the people they don’t like, it makes you conscious of that, it’s just not sort of the carrot on the stick. Just the accolades you get that are going to your head and skewing how you think. There’s a little bit of fear for me, being new. What if they turn on me? It would be devastating, it would be like a divorce. I don’t want to go through that. Lynn: Don’t worry, they’re not tired of you. Misha: (deadpans) You haven’t seen the stuff that we shot already, it’s pretty embarrassing. Collins’ zinging sense of humor was apparently nurtured in a remarkably pop culture-free childhood environment. I was raised fairly isolated from the popular culture in general. We didn’t have a TV. We didn’t have any money. We moved around a lot. I was in 15 different schools by the time I was a freshman in high school. I was often an outsider at the school and I never really had a tight network where I would get involved. I was wearing the Michael Jackson glove when everyone else was already on to Prince….I do get into things but I’ve never had a devotion to any popular culture and I’m always not understood at all. Lynn: So you grew up not really a fan and not watching TV — how did you decide to become an actor? Misha: Good question. Lynn: (silently) Finally! Misha: My mom was a professional storyteller when we were growing up, which meant that she would go and tell a story to a school assembly here and there. She did community theater and I was in a couple of her plays. Nothing serious. Then I did a couple of plays in high school. My mother would come to whatever school I was in, and direct the play. I don’t know how, but I would end up getting cast as the lead. As I looked back I was horrified at the nepotism that went into that. I think that the teacher should have said absolutely not, you’re not casting your son as the lead. So I have that background. But I was going to go to law school, I went to the University of Chicago. Then I got out of school and didn’t know what to do with myself right away. I took a little time off and I started a software company. I was just sort of floundering around. At this point, Collins must have realized that the interviewer/interviewee roles had been flipped again, suddenly exclaiming, “Wow, I haven’t given such a long-winded answer in a long time.” We assured him that was fine, and so he went on. Except, abruptly and inexplicably, he was now speaking with an unidentifiable but definitely non-American accent! Misha: I was going into character for some reason when I was in college. Lynn: (silently) Apparently that has continued into the present. Misha: I was a Russian foreign exchange student, Lynn (silently): Ohhhh, so that’s what this is! Misha: And these lasted for a long time, like six to nine months and it was fun and everyone laughed until they got really sick of it. So a couple friends said you should really try acting. Basically I got a head shot taken and took one class when I was living in DC when I interned at the White House. My first audition was for Barry Levinson for Liberty Heights. I didn’t even know what an audition was. I had no idea what I was doing. I got the part and worked on it for about six weeks. Then there was another movie casting locally, which was Girl Interrupted. I thought, this is easy! I’ll be a movie star for a little while. Then I moved out to LA, got an agent and went to my first LA audition and I saw 30 guys there. Auditioning in Baltimore and DC there would be me — the same old me and a black woman and a 4 year old child. Then moving to LA, there were 30 guys that looked like Mike Doppleganger. It took me nine months auditioning five days a week to get a guest star on Charmed. That was my first role in LA. That’s a long-winded story for ya. It was. So long winded that Misha was chastised by The Powers That Be for being late for some phone interviews and we were chastised for making him late. Hey, we were the ones BEING interviewed half the time, it wasn’t our fault! Anyone who has had the pleasure of seeing Misha at a convention knows that he took on the experience with the same intellectual curiosity he brought to our first interview. Sometimes his Q & As are so hysterical that we’re crying from laughing so hard. He broke the rules early and often (huge surprise there….) and in the process changed the norms for cons, and for the ways in which the creative side interacts with fans. He treated fans like fellow adults, asking as many questions as he sorta-kinda-maybe answered (a dynamic with which we were already intimately familiar), tossed out the no-cursing norm, and generally engaged in witty banter that some fans matched him step for step and others just quirked an eyebrow. We will continue through the launch of Lynn's book with some of her best Supernatural interviews. Check out Misha’s chapter – along with many other cast and fan chapters – in Family Don’t End With Blood. You can pre-order it here.

Movie TV Tech Geeks News

#Featured #Interviews #Jared Padalecki #Jensen Ackles #Misha Collins #Supernatural

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safyresky · 8 years

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For the send me a fandom thing..... Danny Phantom? (I am prepared to sit and read this all day I know you've got a quite a bit about this one hehe)

MELLO YOU HAVE UNLEASHED A HUGE CAN OF GHOST WORMS HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHEUHEU THANK YOU

How I entered/learned about the said game/show/movie/etc of that fandom

I started watching Danny Phantom around 12 as well!! I saw it advertised all over YTV, and it gave Saturday mornings on what use to be called the Vortex?? Which was like a segment, for lack of a better word, in which all the Saturday morning cartoons gave. Anyway, I always watched the Vortex so I managed to catch the premiere and I LOVED it

Anyway I ended up finding the fanfiction archive for it and the Danny Phantom ff archive is constantly BOUNCING or as kids say nowadays, lit?? And there were SO MANY GOOD WRITERS!!! So I mostly partook in that, and read some of the message boards on YTV’s website too. Then the show ended and I was dissatisfied with the mess that was Phantom Planet (as is the whole Fandom) and ironically enough, I can’t remember how (probably via dA. I even had a shitty insert yourself half-ghost OC man I was in DEEP and have not yet emmerged) I stumbled upon the HUGE phandom presence on ye old tumblr trash site and ended up joining BECAUSE of the Phandom and I have not left since they’re just so great and the parts of the Phandom I follow are such a good community and the ANGST and the FANART and the Discourse and the trash ships (DannyxPink Pants anyone?) and the “it’s not gay if he’s dead” and fucking WES WESTON that trash cryptid child like

The Phandom is SUCH A GOOD

Fave character

Wes isn’t even a canon character but he’s a fave! Honestly though, Danny was always my favourite character what a dork. What a wonderful, half-dead, angst filled pun freak DORK. Honestly re-watching Danny Phantom I’m like “well now I know where the love of puns came from”. They could’ve done SO MUCH with this troubled kid??? I loved it loved loved loved it and love him like what a GOOD

To be honest there’s soo many characters I like. Like Valerie is gr8, she’s also SUCH A GOOD and Jack Fenton is just hilarious, Maddie Fenton is so badass?????? WHAT A GOOD And Tucker, man just TF for Too Fine inDEED

Here’s a fun one, I use to HATE Dani Phantom because everyone at school watched Danny Phantom and when that episode aired everyone called me clone for at least a year it was VERY ANNOYING but now I’m just like whATEVER IDGAF SURE WHY NOT THE POWERS JUST HAVEN’T KICKED IN YET I GUESS (tbh hopefully they do soon). She’s a really gr8 character too!

I could go on but honestly I’m really, really lazy

Least fave character

Paulina sorta bothered me, probably b/c of the stereotype/trope of popular mean girl that was thrown at her. Sam could be cringey at times too. I cannot STAND Poindexter like hecker fuck he was sO ANNOYING and Walker is a punk ass bitch and I would fight him if I could (yeah yeah it’s against the rules I don’t give a fuck, I’ll punch him right in his square ghost face)

Lancer was also occasionally super unfair though “Teacher of the Year” definitely gave me a soft spot for him

OTP(s)

Danny and Sam, which is commonly known as Amethyst Ocean I believe b/c eye colours?? I think they have another ship name too that’s a lot less poetic ish but I can’t remember that discourse

And also Vengeful Babes which is Valerie and Dani okay like the moment I found that pairing EXISTED I was g o n e I really like the dynamic they could have???? I’d watch them beat of Vlad every day for the rest of my life and then go home together to eat shit and watch shitty movies. I just love them SO MUCH

Pairing that everyone likes but I don’t get

Okay I don’t know if everyone likes these two pairings?? I think their followings are SMALL but it’s Danny FentonxDanny Phantom which I just can’t get behind I am not a fan of the self ship it’s…idk it definitely is a squick that’s for sure (I think it’s ship name is Pitch Pearl, I can’t remember)

SAME WITH VLAD AND DANNY LIKE WHY??? WHY! I can’t stand that ship I really can’t it also squicks me I just don’t like it it makes me all cringey. Like I’m all for the mentor and student angle, if Vlad wasn’t such a vengeful fruit loop, but the ship ship like no please keep that 70 feet away from me, thanks.

Also I can’t recall if I’m using the term “squick” properly, but it sounds like icky and those ships make me feel icky soooooo

Fave thing about the fandom

EVERYTHING??

They’re so collaborative, it’s wonderful! The whole entire Fandom basically created Wes’ backstory and such together! The theories! The angst! The fanfiction! How we all come together to complain about the creator when he comes around like HEY WHADDUP HERE’S HOW EVERYHTING IS STOP BEING CREATIVE!!

THERE’S SOO MUCH MORE AND I KNOW I’M FORGETTING HALF OF IT BUT MAN THE PHANDOM IS SO WONDERFUL I LOVE THEM

The most despised thing

When Butch Hartman emerges on the internet-sphere with a double edged sword consisting of new content on one edge and killing all our fun on the other edge

Like honestly I don’t think there’s ever been a fandom that dislikes the show creator as much as the Phandom does. It’s beautiful how everyone comes together to bash him when he ruins our fave theories and general fun. It’s very heart warming.

If there is something I would change from said game/show/movie/etc., what would it be.

I would retcon a good chunk of season 3 okay and fix it up like the episode where the Fentons become rich and are totally ooc??? Yeah I’d absolutely retcon that and I’ve seen some REALLY GOOD POSTS lost DEEP in my TAG about how they would retcon it (tey being various phans)

And I would erase Phantom Planet completely. How, you ask? WELL.

I WOULD INCEPTION THE FUCK OUT OF PHANTOM PLANET. LIKE DANNY WAKES UP IN PAHNTOM PLANET OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND JUST TEARS IT APART LIKE “VLAD WOULD NEVER DO THAT” OR “TUCKER, MAYOR? REALLY?” OR “DISASTEROID? I MEAN, I LOVE PUNS BUT THAT’S GOING OVERKILL” because how fun would it be to see Danny tear apart his own finale? Very fun, that’s how

And how inception can I go?? HOw many times can Danny wake up before he wakes up, a helmet explodes off his head, and fucking Nocturn appears like “haaaay”

AND THAT’S HOW I’D START SEASON 4 PALS.

#DANNY PHANTOM #ASK BOX SHENANIGANS #whoops capps #ANYWAY THERE YA GO #fandom ask box game #like honestly I have been thinking very hard about how I would destroy phantom planet if I could write a season 4 #and I WOULD write it but I don;t trust myself to keep everyone in character #dani's many amigas #mellomadness #long post

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pan-magi · 8 years

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1st Obsession Here: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic

I feel drained. I just wrote a too long introduction for this blog, and now I have no idea how lengthy this will be (note: still probably lengthy). I don’t recommend reading that first post; it’s me going on about random thought process on this blog in a ramble fashion, which worries no one will care for this spew of information from my psyche, and at the same time hopes no one does because… that’s creepy?

ANYWAY! Time for my first obsession (in terms of this blog): Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic (or Kingdom of Magic for the second season of the anime). That means I’m going to be on a Japanese interpreted, Arabian Nights kick for… I have no idea. Even if this obsession dies out for me in the next week, I still have thoughts that will last for at the very least a month. Almost daily, if not daily/multiple times a day.

No specific thoughts on the series, manga or anime, to share right now. Let’s start with a story. The story of how I even ended up in this fandom. Short answer: No idea. I won’t cut it off like the original Scheherazade because that’s a dick move.

Basic Disclaimer: Although mentioning the original 1001 Arabian Nights above, I actually have not read all of it. Rather, Magi was one of the interpretations I came across starting from around high school. I just graduated from college, in case you are wondering.

On that note, that is the ultimate reason I first picked up the manga… idk… a few years ago? It caught my eye as I love different cultural interpretations of classic pieces of literature, fairy tales, etc. I want to say I read the majority of the first volume- that sounds accurate- put the manga back of the shelf and thought “Yeah that was all right.”

Cut to about a month ago. I idly flipped through my recommendations on Hulu and saw the name pop up. I was curious and checked to see if it was complete. It was along with the recommended second season. My thoughts now were: “Sure, I need something to binge watch while I’m trying to figure out what to do with my life.”

Let me say something straight. My obsessions sneak up on me. I don’t know what random show or book I will rave over next. It was the same thing here. I have now read the manga online, as well as waiting for the last batch of English released volumes to arrive to my doorstep (there volumes in the late teens). That should be on Friday.

That’s it. Not very exciting, but it’s the truth is it? yes, it is. The one thing I don’t know about? The fandom itself. Anyone reading this also a fan of Magi (all of you? Since that’s what I put the tags for, and this blog has no followers to attract oldcomers), you terrify me. The unknown is scary. I have little idea how active the fandom is. The mainline anime ended a few years ago, and has decent ratings on all the sites I saw, and on the other hand Sinbad no Bouken is newer. I see some of the manga, online and in stores, featured prominently and/or listed as popular when they come out. That leads me to think… Magi has a decent following and still retains parts of it? *shrug* On the fandom side, seen some AMVs, browsed through some fanart, and read comments on episodes. That’s it. This first obsession of this blog is my initial big jump into the fan side of things.

Thus… Hi guys. I’m new and kinda obsessed.

#magi #magi: the labyrinth of magic #magi labyrinth of magic #yes this did turn out to be lengthy #this also likely has typos in it #update post

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recentanimenews · 5 years

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THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL RE:ZERO REWATCH Endures Heartbreak In Episodes 11-15

Hi people! I'm your host for this week's GREAT CRUNCHYROLL Re:ZERO REWATCH, Carolyn Burke! Time has been really flying by during this particular rewatch venture as we zero in on the last two weeks the Re:ZERO rewatch! Last week's episodes 6-10, we saw the revelation of Rem's demonic nature and Emilia and Subaru grew a little closer as he sought emotional comfort in his friend... and all of that is about to come crumbling down in this week's episodes 10-15. Let's just say we're about to build on commenter Pure6Evil's disdain for Subaru. Ready or not, let's go!

Before starting this rewatch we heard a lot of things about Rem being Worst Girl. For a while there, it wasn't too hard to see why. But this block of episodes has shown a gentle, very loyal side of Rem. How are we all feeling about her at this point?

David: I have to disagree with this premise. The season this show aired, she was essentially the most popular character of the season, if not the whole year. One of my personal Discord servers has a whole channel dedicated to posting Rem fanart. To properly answer the question though, yeah, I like Rem.

Joshua: People were saying Rem is worst girl? Just who's been spreading these lies and slander? Why, I oughtta give em a piece of my mind!

Rem's sweet, adorable, and her willingness to stand by Subaru no matter how much he degrades himself is admirable, but she's also a truly tragic figure. She has no sense of self-worth and cannot see the qualities in her that I described, because shes always comparing herself to Ram, and shouldering the blame for what happened. I know how hard it can be to watch talented siblings succeed while you flounder, so I can empathize with Rem. I like her and want her to be happy, but falling for a guy with his heart so set on another, also makes me feel sorry for her.

Paul: I don't want to see Rem end up as Subaru's doormat. Their relationship is deeply unhealthy, imbalanced, and rooted firmly in Rem's internalized sense of worthlessness. Much as Subaru fixates on Emilia and frames his own selfish behavior as self-sacrifice, so too does Rem fixate on Subaru, and I don't see much good coming of that.

Jared: I'd always assumed she was the popular one of the twins. I think she has a good deal of complexity of growing up and feeling inferior to Ram, which was something I wasn't expecting. Nothing about her seems offensive. Although, like Paul says, I don't like the way the relationship between her and Subaru is heading. You can do so much better than him Rem!

Rene: As much as I would love this to be a reality, Rem really is far away from being categorized as Worst Girl (except by people like me who dunk on her for fun). I do strongly agree with Paul on her unhealthy relationship to Subaru and have always had a problem with how her entire backstory was basically shoved into one flashback episode as almost every other character gets a much more natural development. And while she does get one of the most beautiful scenes in the show later on (if viewed in a vacuum), my main point of contention with her is that she feels somewhat artificial and too much of a wish-fulfillment in a show that otherwise revels in denying exactly those positive feelings to its protagonist and the viewer. While I did find her intriguing in the beginning, but she devolves too much into idealistic waifu exhibit A for me. Maybe if she weren't so heavily defined by Subaru, I would find her far more interesting and likable.

Noelle: People really say Rem is worst girl? Really? Why? I think Rem has her flaws, but those flaws are part of her character, and honestly make her more interesting. She isn't my favorite type of character, but I think if they explore her co-dependency with Subaru and her internalized poor self-image, she could be really interesting? She has a lot of potential.

Kevin: Ever since the first time I got to this point in the show, I was definitely a Rem fan. I can see Emilia's appeal, but I realized over time that her and Subarus relationship brings out the worst in each other, and is largely based on making up excuses to disobey the other. Meanwhile, Rem and Subaru's relationship is generally built on mutual trust and tends to bring out the best in both of them. Also, Rem can kick ass on her own, while Emilia needs a spirit whos only awake during business hours.

Kara: I mean, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't calling Rem Worst Girl just because she is the fave, but I wasn't impressed with her early on. While Ram is still my fave, the show really has redeemed Rem for me and now I think she deserves better than Subaru to be honest.

Austin: Worst girl is news to me. I honestly like her a lot, even if I do like a lot of the other girls more. I think her admiration towards Subaru is cute and touching in a lot of ways even if it does get to be a bit much at times.

Danni: I think that was kind of just us goofing on her being by far the most popular. After this batch of episodes, though, I think it might actually be the case. Now that she's in love with Subaru she's basically affirming Subarus actions as the show is trying to discourage them.

There's a lot of contention (and prejudice) around this royal selection. Who would you choose and why?

David: Crusch. She seems like the most level-headed candidate, the one that would be able to deal things out fairly. Everyone else has some inherent biases I wouldn't trust.

Joshua: I'd swear my loyalty to Beatrice, but as she isn't a candidate, I'm also Team Crusch. She has an air of maturity around her that the other candidates appear to lack, and she's already shown not just humility, but how committed she is to her word. Not only did she take in Subaru, an ally of her political rival, but she gave him counsel, and upheld her contract even after Emilia had left. She definitely strikes me as someone who could be trusted to lead a country. I like Anastasia's design and dialect, but she strikes me as a bit of a warmonger!

Paul: I don't know what the royal election really is, and I don't trust the information that's been provided so far, so I can't in good faith pick a candidate. When I realized that every contender is female, and that they were referred to as dragon priestesses, it set off every dramatic irony alarm bell in my brain. Why did the original royal family go into hiding? What hold does the dragon exert over the nation of Lugunica? The whole thing smells like a set up for human sacrifice, like the lottery in the 1981 movie Dragonslayer, and if this were my Dungeons & Dragons campaign, that's how I would script it for the big mid-story twist.

Jared: Felt, because hell yeah let's tear down the idea of nobility and commoners and cause absolute chaos.

Rene: The thing I love about the royal selection is how it doesn't have a right answer. While my allegiance obviously belongs to Team Emilia. if you look at it from the outside, everyone has their up- and downsides. Emilia has idealistic views in abolishing goals in abolishing racism and while she has a sense for what is appropriate to do in royal politics (as Subaru contrasts beautifully) but she can push that to the point of naivete. Krusch is certainly the most level-headed but seems to not have as strong a humane side to her. She's far from cruel but give off too strong of a military vibe. Anastasia has a similar aura around her, just that she is more focused on monetary concerns instead of the military. Felt doesn't want to rule and doesn't have the experience to do so but you could argue that not egotistically striving for power is a good quality of a leader in itself. The only real contender that seems to be exclusively on the negative side is Priscilla - but she has the fact going for her that there seems to be some reason why Al is such a loyal servant of hers. It is a mystery that makes her far more interesting than she should be. Its really great how each contestant is balanced out in a way that you don't automatically expect Emilia as the main girl to win because logically speaking, every one could rule the country in their own way and still work as a ruler that doesn't result into pure awfulness.

Noelle: Crusch, absolutely. A leader who is able to take advice from their subordinates, but also has the ability to apologize when they genuinely make mistakes and work on assumptions is very important. Although, I find her the most inspiring leader from the group; the others definitely have their moments and things worth bringing to the table. Social change, economics, and criticism of the class structure are all issues and challenges that the general populace would face, and having goals oriented in that direction is important. The only one I can't really see ruling is Priscilla, but that's more because she seems to be a reflection of the current aristocracy. Her aim, if I'm reading this correctly, feels like keeping the norm, and that in itself is a position to take.

Kevin: At this point, I don't think we really have enough information to be able to choose a side. We've followed Emilia, but have almost no idea what she wants to do when in charge (the most specific we know is that she wants everyone to be equal, and her sponsor wants to kill the dragon), and Felt doesn't even want to be there. The other three, we have even less to go on. So for now, I abstain from picking, but let's revisit this in a week or two.

Kara: Give it to Anastasia, she sounds like she knows how to party.

Austin: Felt! Emilia may be my favorite girl in the show but I desperately want to see how far her running mad with power would go, as bad as that may sound.

Danni: Team Felt all the way. Burn it all down! I could also be swayed towards backing Crusch, if only because Felix is now my husband.

Subaru and Emilia's relationship came into focus a bit more during this arc and he seems to have messed things up pretty badly with Emilia. Do you agree with her choice to walk away or do you understand where he's coming from? Do you think hell set things right in his next life or move on with Rem?

David: Ignoring the questions about the future, nothing Emilia said or did was wrong. Subaru has gotten a lot in his head and needed to be metaphorically clocked at this point.

Joshua: The worst thing Subaru did was double down when he should have back-pedaled. I cringed as he raved about how everything worked out because he was there, which was the breaking point for Emilia too. He shouldn't have disobeyed her orders in leaving the inn, and he shouldn't have made a fool of himself at the Royal Selection, but if he had owned up to his mistakes and apologized to Emilia, he could have saved himself.

I get why Subaru was so incensed though. One of the rulers of the land went on an unchallenged, racist rant aimed at the woman he loves. I'd probably have made a fool of myself in the heat of the moment too, but I agree with Emilia that his reason for not following her orders, was his own selfishness.

Paul: Subaru screwed up big time. He betrayed Emilia's trust at every opportunity, and he exhibits a really shitty sense of entitlement over her that has ballooned from troubling to downright unhealthy. She was right to cut him loose, just as everyone he clashed with was right when they told Subaru (in various ways) that he was way out of line. I don't want to see him run away with Rem, which I know they do in a set of alternate reality spin-off novels, because Subaru needs to fix himself first before he can even begin to consider pursuing a healthy, romantic relationship.

Jared: Emilia has every right to walk away from Subaru at this point. His delusions of grandeur, self-entitlement, and arrogance causes him to break her trust by not listening to her and then embarrassing her at the royal selection. Plus, with how he acts afterward, he's the epitome of toxicity. So, I hope he doesn't try to just run off with Rem or anything like that. I think where we leave things in this set of episodes makes it so it's going to be extremely hard for him to try and set things right, but at the same time, I'm at the point where I'm rooting for none of the girls to have anything to do with him.

Rene: This is the scene that made me completely fall in love with this show and ascended it to the next level for me. Its a fantastic payoff after 13 episodes of buildup. Subarus repeated failures/deaths and him being saved by Reinhardt, Rem & Roswaal may have laid the ground that this isn't a regular Isekai show in which the protagonist is the all-mighty superhero but this scene really cements that the world does not, in fact, revolve around him - which is something so many Isekai anime don't get right.

What I love about this scene is the revelation of how Emilia cant understand what he has (seemingly) done for her. It should be obvious if you think about it for one second yet many Isekai have primed us to think that the protagonist obviously has the ultimate viewpoint - but how could Emilia possibly understand it? She does not know of the time-loop and from her point of view, Subaru just randomly showed up in her life one day, helped her find her crest (after which he had to be rescued by Reinhardt) and then forced his way into her life by becoming her butler, all while lauding her as an angel despite her never having done anything that would make it understandable to get this attention.

And now this guy, after having seriously jeopardized her chance for the throne, expects her to be grateful! How could she possibly do that? If someone showed up in your life and ruined something you have been working YEARS for, anyone would react that way. The fact that she entertained him for so long really underlines her patience and willingness to get along with anyone.

But while Subaru is a jackass who needed to be put down a notch, we can also see where he is coming from as we went through all the loops at his side. This makes the scene so powerful and recontextualizes the unhealthy wish-fulfillment fantasy that Isekai can really be if not written or executed well; Subaru even declared his joy about becoming the protagonist of such a story right after his arrival in Lugunica. So while I won't theorize about the future, as I have already seen the show, its really great to see the main character of a genre that can be notorious for only delivering simple power fantasies being put down for seeking exactly that and neglecting the perspectives and emotions of the people around him.

Noelle: I adored this scene, because it's been a long, long, LONG time coming. Emilia was 100% correct, and that she still wasn't extremely harsh on Subaru is a testament to her heart. Emilia's part in the royal selection is a way to prove herself in a public setting to the military and the nobility. It's her chance to prove the strength of her ideals, to show what she has been planning and what she wants for the new government shed create under her rule. It's her chance to shine, not anyone else's. Subaru, in wanting to save her in the royal selection, is actually just putting a spotlight on himself. It's not helping her out at all, it's proving his loyalty and tenacity, but it doesn't show anything about Emilia's qualifications as a ruler. Subaru doesn't treat her like someone to serve, he shows that shes someone that he thinks should be coddled. In both putting himself in the forefront and not even supporting her that well, all he's doing is undermining what Emilia has been working for.

Subaru has never once seen Emilia as a person. He has seen her as a prize to be won, one that he deserves because he is the protagonist. He's pretty frank in it this episode, and I love how he's finally honest about what he actually wants-- that the girl he's crushing on should feel grateful to him because he put all this work in for her. He did these nice things for her and so he should get rewarded with her love. He does things, so she should fall for him. Its what he deserves as the protagonist, naturally, because heroes should be rewarded with girls at the end. All Emilia wants is to be treated humanely, like a person, not as something to be feared or as a candidate, but for who she is. And Subaru sure is completely against ever seeing her as an individual and not as a trope, as a prize, as a heroine. You do deserve to get kicked to the curb, Subaru.

Kevin: I think part of the reason the scene resonates so well is because we understand Subaru due to seeing his viewpoint for so long, but I don't think we're supposed to agree with him. He's basically saying that he deserves to be with Emilia because of how many times he's died trying to protect her, and that's not the basis of a healthy relationship. You never deserve a person, so I totally agree with Emilia leaving. As for how things will go in the next life and with the choice between Emilia or Rem... Begins laughing in spoiler-ese.

Kara: She was completely right. I get that Subaru's circumstances are unimaginable. I really do. I can't imagine having to survive watching people you care about die over and over. But if he really loves her, then the number one thing he should be able to do is keep a promise to her. He doesn't even have the excuse of having gone through a loop where the meeting went badly without him. Subaru needs to check himself, and then check himself again... At least this explains the cagey reader comments. Up until now.

Austin: Emilia is 110% in the right for walking away. As much sympathy as I have for Subaru, he took one step too far and started seeing himself as a bit too much of a hero that even death couldn't conquer and screwed up big time. I don't take back any previous comments of feeling bad for him whenever he dies horribly or breaks down under the stress of everything, but that doesn't mean that I don't think he needs to do a little self-reflection. That all said, when I first watched this I really hoped there would be a chance for Subaru to make things right with Emilia in a way that didn't undo the importance of the scene where she leaves him.

Danni: DUMP! HIM! She was totally in the right without question. There's no interpretation of that scene that doesn't make it clear that he's in the wrong. I've been rooting for Subaru, which made that scene harder to watch than any of the gruesome scenes that followed it. It is refreshing to see his selfishness in self-sacrifice punished after I was just complaining about it last week. That also happened to be before his latest save point, so there's no way he can ever make things right. That doesn't mean he can't regain her trust, though, and I truly hope he reflects on it next week and they're able to patch things up.

As always, what are our highs and lows for this week?

David: The ENTIRE scene where they introduce the candidates, culminating in Felt simultaneously being introduced, rejecting the idea, and accepting the concept all at essentially the same time. That's some lore-as-plot being used at its height. While I don't dislike anything here, my low would be how abysmally Subaru treats himself and everyone he loves after the Emilia moment. It's very important to his character arc, but it really, really hurts to watch.

Joshua: I really appreciate the first episode of this batch, where we learn of Rem and Ram's past. Watching Rem's insecurities manifest as twisted visages of her parents was hard to watch, but it was fascinating to see how even innocuous pleasantries made over the dinner table can, unfortunately, have the opposite effect. Her conversation with Subaru at his bedside was also really touching, with Rem's smile feeling so sincerely peaceful. If only Subaru had acted that cool in all of this week's episodes.

Subaru's first return to the Roswaal mansion is also a great example of why less can be better than more. Seeing only the trail of blood and trinkets like Emilia's pin on the floor makes me wonder what exactly happened to her, what she had to experience, and what went through her mind. This uncertainty is worse than actually seeing it play out, which I think only added to our understanding of Subarus pain, because of the blame he carries.

I do worry if the impact of deaths is being lessened by their repetition, though? While the series is doing a great job of showing their impact on Subaru, we've only just cleared the first half and Rems already died three times. How many more will it before I just think "Oh, not again"? Also, Beatrice didn't appear at all! What's up with that?

Paul: This set of episodes was full of emotional highs, but if I were to pick my favorite moment, it'd be when Subaru after getting the crap kicked out of him by Julius in a fight that Subaru started lets the mask drop and essentially admits without realizing it that his affection for Emilia is one-sided and warped. It's rare that you see the ostensible hero for an anime be so reprehensible and so drunk on his own ego, and I appreciate that degree of candor. My low point would be the latest plot wrinkle with the witch cult. All of these threats are coming so fast and so furious that I don't really have a chance to digest them.

Jared: The introduction of Felt into the Royal Selection, while I inadvertently spoiled myself on that earlier, was still fun and interesting with how much she was not having it. I've been also pleasantly surprised with how the show has tackled issues with prejudice and racism with regards to Emilia, as while we've heard rumblings about that, they really ramped up with this set of episodes. Low points were the witches' cult stuff which just felt hokey to an extent. Plus it is starting to seem like the numerous times we see someone die is becoming normalized. I'm curious how the series will try to introduce any sort of finality given that wed expect at this point that it'd just get rewritten and not matter.

Rene: As I already wrote an entire essay above, I'll keep it short and concise: My High was (obviously) Emilia's breakup with Subaru while my low was the way Rem's backstory was handled. If she had forgotten a more fleshed out arc over the entirety of the show, maybe I would've ended up in a better place with her ...

Noelle: My absolute high of this entire show so far was Emilia cutting Subaru off and his tantrum about it. I'm honestly glad that the show is shining a light on just how entitled this sort of attitude is. Watching that scene felt so, so satisfying. I think it's my favorite moment of the show overall so far? Also, seeing the candidates for the royal selection, and what each wants to bring to the table. That was pretty cool.

Low point is the witch cult, because while it could have a lot of potential, it feels more like they came out of nowhere?

Kevin: High - Can I just say the entire last episode? Every moment wasn't necessarily the highest point, but everything coming together and leading up to Subaru carrying Rem out of the cave is one of the first things I recall when I think back on Re:ZERO. Low - Really hard to pick something I didn't like this week, especially with how strongly it ended. Maybe Rem struggling off of Rams back to save Subaru? I'm not sure if they ran out of animation budget or it was just a bad perspective, but it never looks like she really struggles, more like Ram just falls over.

Kara: Gotta agree that my High Point was Emilia just having enough. Good on her. I'm not sure I have a low point, but my WTF Point is that credit roll at the end of episode 15. That entire sequence is now my sleep paralysis demon, complete with the intense orchestral music.

Austin: The scene that introduces Betelgeuse is excellent. From how easily it paints how absolutely nuts he is to the complete emotional turn around that Subaru made it extremely unforgettable, even with it a bit hard to watch after Rem gets mutilated by the unseen hand. It also seconds as a great display of how powerful the Witchs Cult is in a way Subaru can understand and makes them as an antagonizing force a lot more interesting than just the reason Rem and Ram work for Roswall. As for lows, it's difficult to pick something, but I must say I wish Rem had a bit more self-worth since its a bit sad to see such a cute muffin sacrifice herself so much.

Danni: My high and low points are pretty much all the same scenes this week. All the gruesome scenes and the sequences of Subaru selfishly centering himself were both hard to watch and important for the point that Re:ZERO is trying to make. All that being said, at this point, it's bordering on becoming simple torture porn, like when the camera and art make sure to emphasize Rems bloody, injured breasts. On a lighter note, they introduced a lot of great characters this week. Even Betelgeuse made me laugh out loud while being incredibly disgusted at everything going on. No Beatrice this week, though, so that alone means my entire week is shot. Thanks for nothing, Re:ZERO.

COUNTERS:

Week: Barusu - 5 Subaru Deaths - 2 Methods of Death - Freezing, Beheading

Overall: Barusu - 24 Subaru Deaths - 9 How Subaru Died - Disembowelment, Disembowelment, Stabbing, Curse, Combination (Curse+Dismemberment), Slit Throat / Torture, Suicide, Freezing, Beheading

Wow, what a heavy week! If you're dying to find out what's in store for Subaru and his friends, join us next week for episodes 16-20. If you're new, feel free to catch up on Re:ZERO and join us!

Here's our upcoming schedule!

-Next week, on October 11th, David hosts our penultimate week with episodes 16-20

-On October 18th, Danni will finish out with the final episodes 21-25

CATCH UP ON THE REWATCH:

Episodes 6-10: From Apples To Demons

Episodes 1-5: Starting Life in Another Rewatch

Re:ZERO Introduction Questions

What are your answers to the above questions? Were you spooked by the creature at the end of episode 15? Let us know in the comments!

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Carolyn also writes for Bunny Ears and Cracked. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.

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