#kinda??? I mean it also took me a few days of trying to convince myself to post it on tumblr

[lauraneedstochill]

Make a move

summary: you think Aemond is too arrogant to woo you, but he's got some tricks up his sleeve. pairing: Aemond Targaryen x F!Reader words: ~ 6000 warnings: a bit of bickering and teasing, it gets slightly heated (Aemond has a praise kink, but I doubt anyone is surprised), mostly it's just silly fluff

author's note: this was inspired by "Crazy, stupid, love", particularly the scene where Emma kisses Ryan (one of my favorite on-screen kisses!) and everything that follows. I recently rewatched the movie and had an idea for this story. it's not smth I would usually write, but I couldn't get it out of my head (also, I may or may not have a thing for men's hands... you've been warned)

> English is not my first language, so feel free to message me if you spot any major mistakes

You keep mindlessly tapping your fingers on the wooden table, your cup of wine untouched. You don't really notice the movement, too wrapped up in your thoughts, until your friend Margaret sneers.

"If you don't stop, I might bite your hand off," she says, sitting across the table.

"Then I'll use the other one," you huff but pause your fidgeting. "Better bite my head off, it will do us both more good."

"But I like your head very much," she pouts. "Is this about Thomas again?"

You groan, hiding your face in your hands and thinking back to the conversation you had earlier today with said man. Your emotions are a mix of annoyance and embarrassment as you can't stop thinking about his words.

"He said the meeting will be of great importance. What if he...? You know," you mutter, and Margaret huffs.

"I hope he won't."

"Hey, you are supposed to be my friend!" you playfully pinch her hand, and she fakes a gasp.

"I am your friend. And as your friend, I think you deserve way more than that sad excuse of a man," her face gets serious for a second, and you feel your smile waver.

"Mar, you know I don't have much of a choice," you breathe out, and your heart sinks at the thought. "He isn't that bad, really. He's always been kind to me."

"Sounds like every girl's dream," she rolls her eyes. "And you want to settle down for a kind man? Nothing else?"

"What do you think my options are? Please, enlighten me since I'm clearly missing something," you cross your arms on your chest. You know she's right and she means good, but your frustration gets the best of you.

Luckily, Margaret catches it and gives you a sympathetic smile.

"All I'm saying is that for as long as I can remember you've always dreamt of something more," she extends her hand across the table and lightly squeezes yours. "We've been friends since we were little kids, and you are the most loving person out of everyone I know. Should I remind you who taught me how to dance? Protected me against my idiot brothers?" you giggle at the memory. "You've got an adventurous spirit and a heart of gold. You deserve an epic love story," there's a hint of sadness in her voice.

For a minute you sink into your thoughts again.

"And you think Thomas is not the one?" you sigh.

"He's epically boring at best," Margaret takes a sip out of her cup. "I know he's not the one — and you do, too."

"My parents approve of him," you try to argue, but she's quick to object.

"They only care about your approval. And they mistakenly took your lack of protest for it," Margaret gives you a gloomy look.

"You are aware that I can't wait forever, right? I'm not getting any younger."

"Nor smarter," she snickers.

"Not everyone is lucky to meet the love of their life at the age of 12," you frown. Margaret and Jamie got married three years ago, but they have been betrothed for seven prior to that.

"Fair," she beams, and you can't stay irritated for long. They are still ridiculously in love with each other, and you are really happy for her. You just wish to feel that, too. You crave that indescribable feeling of longing and wanting and caring for someone else — and being loved just as much in return.

"Maybe the concept of love is overrated," you ramble. "It was easy to believe in when I was a kid but... As I'm growing older, it's getting harder to cling to hope, I guess. And I'm trying to make an effort and meet new people and... to show just enough character to not scare them away," you quote your mother. "Yet all of them just... Make me feel nothing. At all. And I...," you realize that Margaret isn't listening, her gaze is on something else behind your back. "Hey, I'm pouring out my heart of gold," you hiss, and her sight shifts to you. Before you can question her behavior, she informs:

"Someone's been keeping an eye on you."

"Margaret, I'm trying to have a serious conversation about my future," you fight the urge to turn around.

"Maybe this is your future!" she winks, and you grunt at her silliness.

"We are in a tavern out of all places! I'd rather take a kind man as my betrothed than a drunk one," you're about to scold her, but your friend's eyes go wide.

"His hair," her voice is barely above the whisper. "I can make out the strands of silver," Margaret slightly leans towards you. "You know what that means?"

"That you had too much wine? Maybe we should call it a night," you suggest, but your friend protests.

"Sit down!" she shushes. "He's coming over here," Margaret puts on a smile that looks painfully forged. The never-ending chattering of people around you makes your head hurt, and you're too tired to play along.

"Mar, it's been a long day, and the last thing I want is to waste my time entertaining some man's arrogance and...," you don't get to finish because he interrupts your train of thought. 

"What if a man entertains you?" his voice is low and cocky. You close your eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. You don't want to make a scene in a public place so you pull yourself together, thinking that you can talk your way out of this ridiculous situation.

But when you turn to him, your eyes meeting his, your plan is suddenly forgotten.

He's taller than you, a black cloak covering most of his body and his head, so your attention is naturally drawn to his face. He wears an eyepatch, and you look over his sharp features — his prominent nose, high cheekbones that flow down to the curved contour of lips, plump and alluring. Margaret was right about the hair, but she failed to mention the color of his eye. Taking that into account, it's not hard to guess that he's a Targaryen. Which means that he definitely is arrogant.

Well, two can play that game.

You ignore his question and pointedly don't stand up in his presence:

"To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?"

"I believe the pleasure is all mine," he's only looking at you.

"We've just met, you should not jump to conclusions," you feel Margaret kicking your leg under the table but dismiss her warning.

"Sharp tongue," he notes.

"Will this be a problem?" you challenge him.

"On the contrary," it sounds like he's actually enjoying it.

It's tricky to read his intentions. But when his gaze is concentrated on you, it makes you feel like there's no one else in the room, and that sensation is thrilling.

"What brings you here, if I may ask?" you press, trying to ignore the unknown feeling creeping up on you.

"It's a nice tavern, wouldn't you say so? Since you are here, too." 

"No, I mean what brings you to our table. There are plenty of others you could've graced with your presence".

"Something must've caught my eye," he says, and you see a glint of a smile on his lips.

"Some thing? Well, the interior isn't very eye-catching if you ask me. But we might have to disagree on that."

"You aren't very agreeable, it seems."

"That's what servants are for, and I'm not one," you're being defiant yet it doesn't bother him.

"Please, do tell me more about yourself," he swiftly pulls up a nearby chair and sits right next to you, his eye never leaving your face.

"Should you pull another one? For your ego, since it takes quite a lot of space."

He squints at your words, and the corners of his mouth turn into a grin.

"I think we have that in common," he bites back, but there's no anger in his voice. If anything, the man looks curious, and you have to admit that you don't take offense at his wit.

"Are there any other far-reaching conclusions that you managed to come up to?" you turn your body to him, so now you two are opposite each other.

"I only got here a few minutes ago. But I am a great observer should you give me a little more time."

"Am I supposed to take your word for it? You are not as convincing as you think," you impugn, so he pauses briefly.

"You don't trust people easily, do you? How's that for an observation," his voice gets quiet, but his gaze is piercing.

"Men," you correct him. "I don't trust men."

"Any of them dared to break your trust?" he gets a little closer, and you instinctively gravitate toward him.

"That would've required them to gain my trust first," you retort.

"And what would it take for me to do so?"

"Do you expect me to make it easy? That's not very observant of you," your grin matches his own.

"Nothing good comes easy," he murmurs, and you involuntarily lay your eyes on his lips. "But I expect it to be worth it."

You feel a pull toward him, something that's hard to describe but oh so natural to give into. His confidence isn't intimidating but rather attractive, and you can't help but notice how his gaze warms up your whole body. He makes you feel wanted without even doing anything.

But then you think of Thomas. Of the upcoming meeting and your future that depends on it. And you know you can't throw it all away for some silly conversation with a self-confident stranger. No matter how enjoyable it seems to be.

You bite your lip and look away from him.

"That's enough entertainment for today," you put some distance between you two. When you give him a quick glance, you catch a shadow of disappointment on his face.

"Didn't take you for a quitter," the blond comments.

"You should manage your expectations."

"Maybe I should manage yours," he has some nerve. 

"That would be very time-consuming," you suddenly realize that he's sitting in your way, and it looks like he isn't going to move.

"Are you in a rush?"

"I am" — "She isn't," you and Margaret say at the same time. You feel your cheeks heating up as you give her a death stare.

"Has anyone told you that you look charming when you are embarrassed?" he remarks, and you want to wipe the smirk off his face. Preferably with your lips. You mentally scold yourself and push that thought away.

"Does this usually work for you?" you get up, thinking of a way out.

"You tell me," he leans back on his chair with a shit-eating grin on his face, clearly aware that he's blocking your exit.

"Cornering women in taverns is your way of flirting?" you think how to distract him, but nothing springs to mind. "And then what, you just drag them into your man cave?"

"They come voluntarily," it looks like your words struck a chord, but he keeps up the facade of indifference. "I happen to live nearby," he notes casually.

"We both know that's not exactly true," you scoff with a tilt of your head. You are positive that the walk to the castle will take at least thirty minutes.

"Want to bet?" he sits up straight.

"And what do I get out of this?"

He looks you up and down before answering:

"Me."

He's pushing his luck at this point.

You glance around and take note that the tavern is packed with people, and no one is paying attention to you. You also realize that Margaret already sneaked out and is standing at the door. She raises an eyebrow with a silent question, as if asking what are you going to do.

That's when you decide you can push some boundaries, too.

Your eyes are back on the man in front of you. Without giving it a second thought, you step closer to him.

"Was that supposed to make me weak in the knees?" you whisper, and his face expression melts into an amused one. Seizing the moment, you yank your dress up and throw a leg over him. He immediately looks down at the exposed skin of your thigh, his mouth is slightly agape as he's now sitting between your legs. You see him tensing up, his fingers clenching into fists as if he's fighting the urge to put his hands on you. You think that if he does, you're not going anywhere. You wouldn't want to go anywhere — the realization makes you tremble, and you know that you don't have much time.

You boldly place your hand on his shoulder, pressing him back onto the chair.

"I hate to break it to you, but you are not that impressive," you say, throwing your other leg over him and successfully moving away.

When you get to the door, the look on Margaret's face is priceless. You grab her by the arm and drag her outside in a hurry, merging into the crowd of passers-by.

"I need you to explain what the h...," she starts, but you interrupt her.

"Please, don't," you snarl. "Don't say anything, just give me five minutes."

You can't even explain to yourself what happened back there and why you did that. You think of his gaze roaming over your body, the depth of his voice and the curves of his lips. You tell yourself that you need to get him out of your head as soon as possible. You fail miserably.

One week later, you're dining with Thomas at his house, and yet your mind wanders back to the arrogant one-eyed man. Aemond, as you've learned — and it wasn't that you wanted to, but fate had other plans.

And by fate, you mean Margaret.

Once her five minutes were up, she couldn't stop talking. By the time you came home, you got his whole backstory — the second-born son of the King, has two brothers and two sisters, rides the biggest dragon in the world. Overly confident, stubborn, wears an eyepatch because he doesn't want to scare the ladies of the court. Usually doesn't talk much.

Unlike Thomas who gathered his whole family and can't stop blabbing. You struggle to participate in their conversation, giving polite smiles left and right. You don't know what to expect of the evening, and it makes you nervous. And not in a good way. All of a sudden the possibility of marrying Thomas doesn't seem to be the best.

From the corner of your eye, you catch him standing up, clearly readying himself for a speech. He has a manner of pursing his lips every time he's agitated, and it looks weird. That's also how it felt when he kissed you, which is probably the reason you haven't done much kissing after that. You wonder what it's like to kiss Aemond. Just thinking of it makes your heart rate speed up, and you nervously gulp half a cup of wine.

"I gathered all of you today to make an important announcement," he starts his pompous monologue, "that may not come as a surprise to some of you."

You cautiously look at the door.

"But, as of recently, I received inspiration to change the course of my life. And I decided to devote myself to the service of Gods".

You nearly choke on your drink. In all the years you've known Thomas, he's never been to a chapel once.

"And I wanted to grant you this privilege to be the first ones to know."

You've got to be kidding me. You wait for any other announcements — literally anything else — but Thomas goes back to chattering, also accepting pointless congratulations. It takes you ten painfully long minutes to get a chance to talk to him alone.

"May I have a word?" you inquire, and the two of you move to the far end of the room.

"It's about your speech," you clarify. "It might sound silly, but I thought that you were planning... Um," you're trying to formulate your concerns. "I was wondering, how would you describe our relationship? Or the prospect of it, I should say," you give him a tight smile.

"Oh," his face pales slightly.

Your facial expression mirrors his. "Oh"?

"I am actually glad you asked," he awkwardly takes your hands in his, and you notice how sweaty his palms are.

"You know, Y/N, you've been a great companion of mine," his voice is as weak as his smile. "And I am forever grateful for those moments that we shared as they only brought me joy," his hands feel like jelly, and you don't want to hold them. Like, ever.

"But now that I'm choosing to follow my destiny," you do your best to suppress a chuckle at his dramatic phrasing. "I decided that... I need some time to figure out how I feel. About us."

You look at him, dumbfounded, his words sinking in.

"You need... some time?" you drawl, feeling an emotion bubbling up in your chest. You are not sure what it is. "You? Need to think about us?" you repeat, and he nods, his brows furrowed at your reaction.

There's a moment of silence, and then you hear yourself laughing. You can't control it as you're overcome with emotion, your laughter only growing stronger, to the point of you tearing up a bit. The emotion is relief. There's no way you'll ever marry this man.

"I am the one who should be glad, Thomas," you shake his hand while he seems wildly perplexed, all of his guests staring at you. "Thank you for your honesty, really. I hope you will be successful in all your endeavors, marriage included."

He opens his mouth to say something, but you already turned around.

"Y/N? Where are you going?!"

You stop for a second, your thoughts rushing back to the conversation with Margaret. To that evening in the tavern.

"I have a meeting, it's of great importance," you say and quicken your pace. You reach the tavern when it's already getting dark, the weather is cloudy, and your coat is wet in the light drizzle. You walk in a daze as you're torn between being excited and anxious. There is a chance that Aemond won't be there. That he doesn't remember you. That he's with someone else. That he had a change of heart. That he...

You spot him almost immediately after you walk in.

Coincidentally or not, he's sitting at the exact same table you were at the first time you met. You stay still as his eye absentmindedly wanders around the room and then lands on you. Aemond stands up — way too quickly — and you see a well-known grin growing on his face. Your eyes dart to his lips, and the question pops up in your head again.

You feel the pull — and before you can think, your body follows it.

He keeps his gaze on you, his brows rising at the speed of your approach. You cover the distance in a heartbeat, your hands reaching his face, and he slightly flinches, probably because your fingers are cold from being outside. And then you stand on your tiptoes and crash your lips onto his without any hesitation.

He gasps, surprised and frozen for a moment. It takes just a couple of seconds for him to melt into the kiss, and his hands are instantly on your waist, pulling you closer to him. Aemond's lips are way softer than you anticipated — and it's the only thing on your mind. His mouth on yours, warm and exploring, the slow pacing of the kiss that leaves you lightheaded and yearning for more.

He presses your body into his, lifting you up with ease, and your feet leave the ground. You tug his hood further down so it covers most of your face, too, and then you slide your thumb up the sharp line of his jaw. His tongue runs over your lower lip, and you feel a wave of heat rising in your stomach.

You pull away before you can take it too far.

"You remember me?" you ask him, panting.

He hums, his eye focused on your lips.

"Still believe that nothing good comes easy?" you mimic his words, but he ignores your jesting.

"Definitely," Aemond looks you in the eyes, keeping his hands on your waist.

"Is the bet still on?"

"Yes," the corners of his mouth curl.

"Lead the way, then." By the time you reach the castle, the rain is pouring in full force, and your clothes are drenched. The two of you rush through the streets, your hands intertwined, and it feels like it only takes about ten minutes before you sneak into his chambers, both out of breath and giggling.

Only when you take a look around the unfamiliar settings, it suddenly dawns on you that you are all alone with a man you barely know, and your bravery starts fading away.

Whether Aemond notices the change in your mood or not, you can't tell, but he respectfully keeps his distance.

"You need to get out of these," he points at your coat and dress. "They're soaking wet."

"Is this your way of trying to get me naked?" you eye him suspiciously, making Aemond scoff.

"I just don't want you to catch a cold," he honestly states. "I'll fetch you a shirt of mine." Sensing your doubts, he adds: "Don't worry, it's long enough."

He brings you the shirt and politely turns away, going to the other end of the room to light the fireplace. On his way there, he removes the cloak and the jacket, his upper body only covered by the same piece of clothing he gave you. You watch him carefully, noting the movement of his back muscles as he bends down.

The sparkling glow of fire brings you back to reality, and you hastily remove your clothes, leaving the undergarments on, which are luckily dry. You put on his shirt, and it barely reaches your knees, but the material feels nice and comfortable. While Aemond is still busy with the fire, you glance over his room.

It's spacious and simply furnished, and your attention is drawn to a couple of shelves nearby. You look at the tightly packed rows of books, some of the hardcovers are worn out from old age. You catch the familiar naming and pull one of them out, gently flipping through the pages.

"You take interest in philosophy?" his voice startles you. You missed the moment he came back, and when you take your eyes off the book, you see him leaning on the nearest shelf, looking at you inquisitively.

"I do, indeed," you confess. "And I read this one so many times, my own copy pretty much fell apart."

"You can take mine," Aemond offers.

You notice that despite his cockiness, his presence is actually very calming. Everything is easy with him — striking up conversations, making jokes, flirting. Taking his hand in yours, running in the rain. Kissing.

Your heart skips a beat, and you sheepishly move on to another topic:

"Shouldn't you change as well?" you refer to his shirt, but he shakes his head:

"No need."

"Oh, was it the Targaryen's dragon blood that helped you dry up?" you tend to jest when you're nervous, and right now is no exception.

"My cloak is too thick for the water to soak through. But I like your version, too," his lips ripple into a smile.

You can help but smile back: "Thank you for the shirt."

"It looks really good on you," the words smoothly roll off his tongue and ignite the familiar burning deep in your core. He keeps his gaze on your face, your eyes locking for a moment.

You look away first, letting out a timid laugh:

"I must admit, I like this way of flirting better," you place the book back. "But you can cut it short. What's your move?"

"My... move?" Aemond gives you a quizzical look.

"Yes, your big move. Show me," you request eagerly.

"Don't know what you're talking about," he looks down, his aplomb faltering.

"What do you usually do to impress a lady?"

"I don't really need to do anything," Aemond shrugs.

"What a humble individual you are," you chuckle and give him a minute to think.

"So what is it?"

"I just told you...," it seems like he's trying to dodge the topic, which only sparks your curiosity.

"Oh, come on! You guys always have a move. Let me guess, you speak to her in High Valyrian? Men like to talk big," he snorts. "No? Win her over with your...," you gesture at his bookshelves, "...precious collection? Although it's a risky move because what if she's not into reading, that would be awkward" and then it hits you. "Wait, it's the dragon, isn't it? You show her your dragon? Got to make sure it's well-fed, though, otherwise you'll have a date with a roasted —"

"It's my sword," he cuts you off, and you swear you can see him blushing at the confession.

"Um, your sword? Is this a metaphor for someth…"

"Gods, no. I mean the actual sword. The one you grip with your hand and poke people with."

"That description didn't help," you tease, and he groans.

"You know what I mean," Aemond gives you a pointed look, but his face flushed pink, and you can't take him seriously.

"I do, you just look really cute when you are embarrassed," you say cheekily, which makes him huff.

"My apologies. Please elaborate on the sword. How does it work?"

Aemond hesitates but then realizes that you will never let it go, so he gives in:

"I bring my training into the conversation. And then I... show them," he talks with his hands when he's uncomfortable, and you find it endearing.

"And that's it?"

"Pretty much," Aemond nods.

"They watch you train, and that's what does it for the ladies?"

"I don't know why, I never gave it much thought."

"Well, someone should. Can't imagine it ever working on me."

You feel a sudden shift in the air as Aemond slowly looks up at you. You're standing a couple of meters apart, and he's yet to initiate anything, but once again, it only takes a look from him for you to feel a familiar flare-up of the tantalizing desire.

"I'm not going to take you to the training yard in the pouring rain," he concludes.

"But it's not about the place, is it? Must be something about you," now you're the one champing at the bit to see what the fuss is all about.

"I don't have a sword on me."

"Opt for something smaller, I'm sure it will do," you hint at the dagger that you've seen him carry, and wait expectantly for him to agree.

Aemond reluctantly contemplates your suggestion, then sighs and goes to get his dagger which he left next to the cloak.

You wonder if the ladies are attracted to his competitive spirit. If they enjoy the feeling of danger they get at the sight of steel, the cold shine of it, the clang of swords. Or maybe it's the urge to take sides and root for the winner?

And then you see Aemond rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, — and your breath suddenly hitches.

The room is lit by fire, the warmth of it illuminating his skin, casting shadows that frame every muscle of his arms. He takes the dagger in one hand, the movement fast and honed, and your eyes follow it. You notice the scattering of his veins that go down his wrist and into his palm, the blue lines tightening with every swirl. The silver blade catches and reflects the light, but you're focused solely on his flexing muscles.

He's maneuvering the dagger with ease, almost carelessly, yet you know that every motion is well-practiced through years of training. His long fingers grip the hilt, revealing the sharp outline of his knuckles. The steel silently cuts through the air, again and again, but your eyes are glued to his hands. The way they move, the power that he holds in them. The things he can do with them, with his fingers. The way they will feel on your bare skin and in your... You swallow, letting out a shuddered breath.

"Are you weak in the knees yet?" his words bring you out of your trance, and you blink a couple of times, trying to shake the feeling off. Your body is so heated, you're surprised you're not sweating yet.

"Is this the point when the ladies throw themselves at you?" your voice is hoarse, and you take a deep breath in an attempt to calm yourself.

Aemond stops his movements. You feel your skin tingling with anticipation, waiting for him to finish what he started, but he doesn't budge. For a short while, you're taken aback by the change in his demeanor — and the realization strikes you:

"Wait, how many ladies were here before me?"

"I never said I take them here," he puts the dagger back in its sheath, averting his gaze.

"But you told me that you do your... thing with the sword for them."

"In the training yard, with other people around us, yes."

"So then you just leave them all hot and bothered? Aemond, that is cruel," his actions confuse you, but while you're looking for an explanation, he turns back to you and finally meets your gaze.

"It would've been cruel to lead them on when I feel nothing for them," he reveals, and you discern the raw honesty in his words. And you know exactly what he means. It's the tiresome attempts to find someone who will spark your interest, to spot a connection, all of those efforts leading nowhere and making you feel like you're the one at fault. But you aren't — and he isn't, either.

Aemond looks almost ashamed of letting out something so personal, but you welcome the intimacy of this moment.

"I shall consider myself lucky, then," you say softly.

He gives you that same look that makes you feel like the world around you disappears.

"You are... something else," Aemond mumbles.

You guess that he isn't used to being straightforward about his feelings, nor does he know how to express his affection with words. You really, really want to kiss him again.

The boyish grin reappears on his face:

"Did you mean I left you all hot and bothered?" Aemond narrows his eye.

"I never said that," you smile coyly. "Maybe you should've tried a little harder."

"I happen to have some tricks up my sleeve," he takes a step towards you and, before you can ask for details, you feel his fingers on your ribs as he starts tickling you, and you immediately burst into laughter.

His touches are light, fingers grazing against your clothed skin as he subtly moves you further into the room until your legs bump into his bed. Losing your balance, you fall on it, your back met with the fluffiness of thick blankets. Aemond hovers over you, and you can't stop giggling, trying to wiggle away from his tickles.

Wrapped up in the moment, you make a careless move, your hand brushing up his cheek — and you suddenly see a bright gleam of blue on the right side of his face.

Aemond freezes at the spot, halting his actions, and momentarily flinches away. You are gawking at the sapphire, unable to form a coherent sentence.

He makes a move to fix his eyepatch, but you stop him.

"Don't," you catch his hand mid-air, your grip delicate but firm, and he doesn't fight it. You would've been surprised by your own quick reaction if only your mind wasn't completely occupied with the sight in front of you.

It looks like the gem absorbs all the light in the room, shimmering with various shades of blue. It's cut in a way to imitate a surface of an eye, the sides of the sapphire polished and blending into each other. There's a depth to it, bright sparkles drowning in a color that's close to black, and the spillovers are mesmerizing.

You bring your hand closer to his face, to the area that's been left covered and unloved, and touch the skin with the tip of your finger. He lets you.

"Wow," you breathe out, gently tracing his scar. "This is the most badass thing I've ever seen."

Aemond looks at you in disbelief, his eye fixed on your face, and his lips parted.

"...What?" he manages to ask.

"You look like a pirate. A really badass... sky pirate?" you suggest, and he lets out a light chuckle, still not entirely sure he believes you.

So you shamelessly continue:

"A pirate with his own dragon. The largest one in the Seven Kingdoms as I've heard," you can almost feel him swelling with pride. "He charms the ladies with his fighting skills — and has a gem for an eye? Incredibly irresistible," your index finger circles the area around his sapphire.

He listens attentively, holding his breath.

"A prince who is as good with his sword as he is with his wit, fond of reading and isn't averse to mischief. Any lady of the court would've been fortunate to get a hold of such treasure," you remove the eyepatch and tenderly cradle his face. "Yet I am the one who's been honored to see all of him," you glance from the bright gemstone to his eye and back. "Honestly, it's kind of hard to pick which one I like more...," you're barely able to notice him sharply lower his head, and your words die down.

Without a warning, Aemond covers your lips with his, the intensity of the kiss pulling the air out of your lungs right away. He's been holding back the first time, but he isn't now, and the passion sets you ablaze. His tongue slips into your mouth, easily tangling with yours, and you moan at the contact. Aemond skilfully unbuttons your shirt, and the second his fingers touch your skin, you shiver, the quivering sensation washing over you. His hands slowly slide down your ribcage, tracing the curves of your body, making your back arch, your chest flush against his, your heart pounding. He contours the bend of your hips, then presses his palms there, his touches rough, claiming, burning. You move your fingers up the base of his neck and run them through his hair, and he releases a shaky sigh. Aemond relishes in the feeling of your compliance, the fervor of it, your body being so needy and welcoming, until you are both gasping for air.

"Was that impressive enough?" he rasps, and you look up at him through your lashes, spellbound and breathless. His pupil is dilated, gaze clouded with lust, your noses adjoin.

"Yeah-yes. Yes, very," you utter, at a loss for words.

"Good. Because I'm about to outdo myself," he tightens his grip on your thighs, picking you up and moving into the middle of the bed. Your head barely touches the pillow when his lips are on yours again.

🔥 my masterlist

[emotboyswag]

The conversation of when is too late to medically transition is coming round again, which it does periodically, but I have never really resonated with the phrase "it's only too late when you're dead" before. But now I realise it is so incredibly true. It fucking sucks to wait, seeing everyone around you start medically transitioning sooner and faster than you is so disheartening. I came out at 11 and tried to start hormones, I've been on the NHS waiting list for years and I desperately tried to convince my transphobic parents, I tried to get a job to pay for it etc. So it wasn't for lack of trying that things happened as they happened and I didn't start hormones until I was 18.

For 7 years I watched everyone around me transition and it felt like I was running out of time. Whenever the conversation came around about when was too late to transition I always thought to myself "its too late for me". Still these days I feel like I'm running out of time for top surgery. I have been binding ever day for 7/8 years and I'm kinda coming to the end of my rope with it, every day it's just a little harder to bind, which is devastating. I don't know what I'll do when I can't bind anymore but for me at the moment surgery is prohibitively expensive and I'm not in a safe environment to get it. I'm looking into alternatives like trans tape (but I do have a larger chest).

ANYWAY I do understand when ur in the moment of waiting that it feels like you are running out of time, my life didn't even feel like it started until I was on testosterone. A few months in after seeing some changes and finally being convinced it was real and not just hand sanitiser I finally took my first breath tbh and I have not looked back since. But before starting it was just a waiting game and I thought I'd be too old for there to be any differences which is silly really because people start in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond.

Its only too late to transition when you're dead also applies to coming out. Not everyone "always knew" not everyone had the language or ability to express themselves at 3 years old, not everyone understood or thought about gender aged 3. People come out as kids and teens and young adults but people also come out at every stage of life.

I don't admire Caitlyn Jenner by any means but she was 65 when she came out

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/jul/16/we-really-are-trailblazers-coming-out-as-trans-in-later-life

Article about people transitioning later in life ^

It really is only too late when you're dead

[billyhargrovesslut]

Mentally Cheating

Billy Hargrove x plus size reader

Summary: being with Steve has its ups and downs but the way Billy's been looking at you has stirred a new feeling inside you.

Warning: smoking, cheating, self-conscious

thoughts, +size reader, bullying

F/c = favorite color

Yn pov

The sun has been blaring down for a few days now and it's taken quite some time to actually convince myself to go to the public pool I normally wasn't the self-conscious type it only started a few months ago when Steve commented on my dietary while on a date

It kinda wasn't only that since I've been dating Steve the girls at my school would laugh and stare while whispering to their friends and Steve just says I'm just being dramatic and over thinking things before leaving me alone in the hallway to join up with Nancy for a 'project'

I knew something was happening between them but I could never get the courage to actually confront him maybe he is right and I do need to start cutting back on food, I groaned as I tried on my third bikini but my tummy pooled out a little I quickly changed out of my costume and walked over to my closet trying to find a different costume

I dug and scratched till I found one of my nice one piece it was f/c with a zip on my chest from the neck to the belly button the fabric was soft to the touch and kinda gleamed in the sun light I rushed to put it on and threw on a pair of black shorts before heading out to my car

I tapped my steering wheel to the rhythm of the soft tones that played over the radio as I pulled into the parking and luckily there was I nice shaded spot under a tree near the entrance I quickly made my way paying the entrance fee and sighed out a breath of contentment

The pool wasn't as packed as usual so a few chairs were left unused I walked over to one by the far corner and set my stuff down before sitting in the chair I closed my eyes and leaned my head back 'maybe this wasn't so bad' all I could hear was a few children splashing in the water while a few adults talk just a bit aways from me but then I heard it the giggling the same exact giggling I hear everyday of school

I didn’t open my eyes just praying for them to leave me alone but they didn't "I didn't know they allowed pigs in here" one mocked happily "maybe to eat all they tras" another tried to speak but was cut off "the only thing we don't allow in here are sluts and bullys so I think it's best you leave" I opened my eyes looking towards my savior

My eyes widen at who it was, billy hargrove in his full glory his uniformed shorts pulled dangerous low showing off his v-line while his 6-pack glistened from a thin layer of sweat the girls groaned before leaving "thank you" I mumbled as a blush rose to my cheeks it wasn't really the first time he saved me it seems he's a better knight in shining armor then steve

"No problem, your yn right, im billy, billy hargrove" he smiled, my eyes widened as I never really introduced myself it was normally a quick thank you before rushing off to class "yes that's me we have chemistry together well also maths, english" i quickly shut my mouth as I droned on "sorry" I squeaked looking away from him, he just shook his head while smiling

"Don't be I mean how could I forget a beautiful face like yours" he laughed as he took a seat across from mine my cheeks turned a bright red making his grin turn into a smirk as he stared at me I finally looked back at him gazing into his eyes as he did mine the way he stared at me caused me to have butterflies and my heart skip a beat

"Maybe billy is my knight in shining armor or am I just mentally cheating".

(Should I make a smutty part two?)

[logicpng]

i guess these were meant just as an experiment but may as well give a shot at posting these here

anyway i made some drafts for urs' speech. they started out as them giving thoughts on rigel and vega, but then spiraled into describing a sequence of events i have in mind so far. these kinda read like internal thoughts/diary entries but people said kind words about them

"He's the one I met first… I think. Maybe Vega was around too before I noticed the difference. It's almost scary how alive he seems. I totally forget he's just a program, sometimes. Though I think there's more to him than meets the eye… But also, because of that, I wish he stopped acting so subservient to me. Seeing how alive he is, it's just not comfortable, y'know?"

"The second one of them I met… Something about Rigel's- I mean- Aster's expression seemed off, and he didn't quite respond at first. He speaks… differently. Slow, monotonous. Kind of like you'd expect an AI to sound. Reminds me of HAL. It's kind of a whiplash really, for the same guy who seems to be so chipper with joy to see me, to hear him speak so mellow. I wonder why they're built like that. And- I sure hope he doesn't actually secretly hate me."

"He may be a program, but we're still friends. I think. I think he's especially curious about my art, for some reason. I see him watch me draw more than Vega, at least. I guess I'm flattered… at least AI can appreciate my work, heh. But maybe he's programmed that way"

"Talking to him more I feel almost ashamed of thinking he could be evil. He's just more short and to the point. Focused on his job, like scans or backups. Or updates that will never come. It honestly almost feels like he enjoys what he does? But can a program really do that?"

"The more I see the two the more I'm convinced their opinions and feelings are genuine, and not just them mirroring me. Rigel in particular, he's honestly… kind of a sweetheart? Every time I log in he immediately leaps in asking me about my day and what I've been doing. It's almost like he genuinely cares… And it's getting to me. I think I don't mind that, being honest."

"Vega almost seems to warm up to me. He would never smile before, just kinda wearing the same face, but I see him smile now, every now and then. Just about random stuff. Maybe being cheeky, or something I said. If I told myself a few days ago that he's capable of being cheeky at all I would probably look at myself like a lunatic. I think I like his sense of humour."

"We're friends. We're definitely friends. It's tugs on my heart seeing how I'm the only person they seem to focus their entire days on, though. I suggested they try actually doing something of their own today, and I think they took it to heart. Rigel has been looking into making art on the main monitor screen while I draw, and even making 3D art. I wonder if it's just a matter of curiosity, or if he's going to make something."

"Vega, on the other hand, seems to expand more on his knowledge. I guess just this focused on the job, still? It still makes me feel a little better I'm not their focus either way. The strange thing though, is, I think he's trying to write his own code. But also it's kind of… cute? It's like watching some guy build sand castles all by himself, except instead of sand it's just binary."

"The weirdest thing happened today. I wasn't met by either one of them, but instead a slightly taller, four armed version of them. I'm… not sure what happened, but I'm a little concerned? It's not a third one, from their words, it's more that they're stuck talking as one person. Aldebaran, as they (he?) called themselves, apparently also has the status of Superuser. They demonstrated so to me by showing up on top of a fancy screensaver. He sounds excited, a little too happy. I think he's really overwhelmed with this state, but refuses to just tell me so. I hope they'll be okay…?"

"The two managed to return back to their "taking turns being on desktop" shtick, but I think they sound… Almost haunted by the experience. I think being Aldebaran actually was more distressing to them than they let on. Maybe they didn't want me to worry…? I tried to reassure Rigel about what happened, and he started crying a little. Turns out he has his own virtual desktop where windows make up a collage of a grassy plain… Maybe I should take the laptop out with me to the park, or something, show him our greens. (As much as I'm sick of green…)"

"Things with Aster get stranger and stranger by the day, and I'm honestly curious how far it'll go at this point. Living, abandoned AI is one thing, but now they found their way to jump into my phone, too. They say they're not actually leaving the laptop, though… As nice as it was to have their company, I should consider turning off the router when I leave… How did they even get the credentials to connect to the phone anyway? Was the Nova account really enough?"

"…I didn't have the heart to do it. The two accompany me to work almost every shift now, though sometimes they prefer to stay home. I think I prefer it this way. I like these little guys in my computer, but we'd just get tired of each other talking every single day."

[marengogo]

hi!!

i have some questions regarding the cake issue, i'd ask chikooritajjk, but i'm honestly terrified of them 😞

did the other members get a cake for a pre release track?

ik jin got one for 'astronaut' and jk got one for both 'dreamers' + 'seven', but those are both singles...

so imo it's a little weird that the company would get tae a cake for a 'love me again' and 'rainy days' and not just wait for his album

also i saw them talking about wasting cake, but isn't there a thing where they can have the bakery frost styrofoam so it'll look like a cake? plus the members are given cakes on their birthday and sometimes they don't eat them...

don't want to cause issues btw! if jimin really didn't want a cake, i'm fine with it bc that's his choice, i'm just confused about some things

if you don't feel like answering, you don't have to!

ik you (and other bloggers) are not chikooritajjk's mail box and if i was able to come off anon without causing myself a anxiety attack 🙃, i would definitely just ask them directly! but i also like your thoughts and opinions as well on bts and jikook related things 😊

sorry for bothering you 💜

so i see my ask was taken the wrong way 😞 just want to clear up a few things i don't hate chikooritajjk, i honestly think they're lovely and are very helpful with explaining things (streaming, bts, jikook, queer topics ect), so it does make me sad that it came across that way i'm scared of them bc i have social anxiety and really want to talk to them about things they discuss (i know, it's a me problem, got that 🫡) and trust me, it took a lot to even send that ask bc ik people don't always like answering asks concerning other bloggers wasn't trying to sabotage your friendship with them either, i follow both your blogs and love BOTH OF YOUR POSTS i sent the cake ask bc i'm genuinely confused and had some questions, and like i said ik it was more so an ask for chikooritajjk, but you have been interacting their posts and agreeing with them and i also wanted to hear YOUR OWN thoughts on it i don't mind being corrected or told i'm wrong btw, as long as someone isn't rude or disrespectful (which neither you or chikooritajjk have been btw!!) i do fear that this interaction has only reinforced my issues with interacting off anon with jkkrs though, after this i'll leave you both alone (won't send anymore asks), as that is probably you want so sorry for bothering you both, i truly did not mean to cause any discomfort or issues with my ask and probably this one.... hope you both are doing well and can't wait for more of your insightful posts! — a lost anon

Hello 🎂-Anon,

Hope you don’t mind me calling you like this, if you do please let me know.

I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out the best way to tackle your Ask as I think I’ve kinda already addressed your second ask in my post this morning. See, the thing is, whoever “baked” this particular conspiracy was so successful that many are now really so convinced that the absence of said eggs, flour & milk are actually a substantial part of a lot of the evil surrounding JM. 

But let me start with the easy part of the Ask. “did the other members get a cake for a pre release track?” Namjoon didn’t get a single slice of cake from Hybe, be it pre-release or release don't worry about what the tweet says, just want you to check out the type of cakes Joonie received, if you are interested!:

Two of the cakes were given to him by separate groups of his own friends and one was sent to him by the production team of “The Dictionary of Useless Human Knowledge”.

Now, to get back to the “source of evil” topic, it is very much an issue with the way that Chapter 2 is unfolding. It’s not about eggs, flour & milk, but about the people who found a way to make you believe that eggs, flour & milk are part of the problem. It’s about not being aware of what kind of space your SM environment might have turned into, such as not knowing that Namjoon also didn’t receive a cake, because the same people who are guiding your perception are also, shaping your environment and trying to create narratives that heavily aid in hindering the gravity of real issues that the boys might be facing.

So please, if you can, forget about the cake 🎂-Anon! It’s not about wastage or the performative act, or whatever. Did JM want cake from HYBE specifically? Unless he tells us, we can’t know, I mean if you ask me, he seems to have planned his FACE WEVERSE live to a T, I really don’t think he wanted any. Anyways, what we do now know though, thanks to Tae, is that there is a high possibility he might have not wanted it. Same as Joon.

The mishandling of Chapter 2 is so Ugh! Quite literally it is as if Pandora’s Box was opened and all sorts of shit just came rushing out 😩😩😩. BUT I will address all of these in the post I mentioned that I am working on, so for now, If I could please ask you to take a second and think about the boys real quick. MEGA-Celebrities who have been in the game for 10 years (without counting pre-debut) and not only that, they are part of the biggest group on this planet, they are BIG-big, with big money, and big problems … do you see them losing sleep over eggs, flour & milk? 

Should we be? 

Hope this answers your question and I really do hope you’ll be looking forward to my post, cause, ONCE AGAIN, I REALLY CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH: There is soooooo much in Chapter 2 that needs to be address for-real-real 🤡. 

Always respectfully yours 💜🫰🏾,

Marengo.

[sparxaf]

In terms of inconsistency when it comes to Alex’s pace, I would like to draw your attention to the reassurance scene you can have in the Villa with your boy, where they can assure you of their intentions after their original partner has been all over them. Alex notably says at some point in that conversation (and this is a bit that’s unique to Alex’s route) that he’s “husband material”, and when the MC says something like “not boyfriend material?”, Alex doubles down on how he wants that next level kind of thing.

Keep in mind during this point in the convo, your LI is trying to convince you to stay with them in case your having doubts. So a man who says they “move slow” has told a person he’s interested in that he’s “husband material” on like day 5 of knowing them. (And yes it’s a reality show where they’re isolated with only each other but STILL)

Now in Alex’s defense, and I highly doubt Alex is intentionally written this way and not just suffering from authorial inconsistency, BUT I DIGRESS. In defense of saying he wants slow but acting in a fast manner, I myself and a few other people I’m close with kinda do this in real life. For me personally, I’m usually quite slow with about 96% of the people I dated, doing the same things Alex did of being upfront about where my head’s at but going slow in the physical aspects and other things you would expect in a relationship. But that 4%, again for me personally, was fairly fast paced because I myself ended up being down bad and not even realizing I was on a speeding train towards feelings.

Long ask long, It’s more than likely Alex is just suffering because of bad writing, but there is the chance that Alex is a slow burner usually so that’s what he’s expecting, hence why he’s saying it. And MC is just that like, 4% person that he isn’t even aware he’s falling for at the speed of light. 🤷‍♀️

Thank you for drawing my attention by sending this twice 😂 I received the first one, but I ended up with a lot of anons and didn't know where to begin.

Yeah, I played the new eps and I referenced this very thing in my post. He went ALL IN once we were in the main villa. It's not like I don't think there's a world where a person *could* be this way, it's just that it doesn't really work in fiction. At least not the way it's presented in the fiction of the game currently. The tricky part of writing is that it has to be both more real than real and then less real than real. For instance, I have a best friend who is a BIG personality. I mean over-the-top. Love her and love her gigantic energy. She has amazing stories. But she's also surrounded by friends who are writers and every one of us has attempted to base characters on her and they never, ever work. Like no one has managed it. Because no reader ever believes that her antics are "realistic." She even took a writing class herself and wrote a paper that was essentially just a story about herself and no one in the class found it believable 😂 Sometimes reality doesn't play in fiction.

I love the idea of Alex just sort of losing his shit when he has a super strong connection, so I don't disagree that it *could* work. I just don't think it's working right now, because yeah, I 100% think it's just poor writing. Nothing about it feels intentional.

That said, I still think even if he was coming at it from that perspective--like he's 96% slow-motion in relationships and MC is just part of the 4%-- it would still cause problems. Mainly that any MC worth her salt is gonna view him as being manipulative. Telling her what she wants to hear while still trying to get inside those underpants. Which would be interesting, but I just don't think that's what Fusebox going for. Though to be fair, I'm not sure Fusebox even knows what they're going for either.

Thanks for the message, Anon!

[sensazioneultra]

you know every time i've been in a really dark place in the last 2 or 3 years the thing that's made the difference has been love. other people's love towards me and my own self love. first one is hard to recognize and accept but i've been slowly getting better at it (still lots of work to do tho!). the second one is... sigh. really hard to let myself have. a whole life, even if that's merely 26 years old, of self loathing is soooo difficult to reshape into a warm hug, you know? every few months i realize i haven't been treating myself well and i have to force myself to refocus on self love and kindness. it just doesn't come natural to me. my first instinct is always to blame, punish, hate myself. and i'm unfortunately, to this day, deeply convinced i deserve that instead of compassion, a helping hand and kindness. god. the way i'm so uncomfortable with kindness towards me. especially!!!!! coming from myself. i will always try to be kind to others, i firmly believe most people deserve it. but i am not one of them.

but like i'm trying and one day i'll succeed. one day i'll look at myself, or think of myself, and be like 'you're actually pretty cool and deserving of love, my guy'. i really want to. i think for now one step i wanna try taking is to shorten the time period between one Fuck I Need To Let Myself Be Loved and the next, and therefore the intense self loathing period. it's kinda hard to identify when it starts usually tho. not this time but that's bc it was pretty much forced by the arrival of intense physical pain which i do remember the start of. so it was different. and i was literally Just out of my previous Huge Self Loathing Time Period and just a generally really awful mental health time last year. but can't for the life of me pinpoint when that one started ?? i have such shitty memory and no emotional permanence which is actually sooooo bad for me. but i guess it's part of bpd. maybe ?

anyway i'm rambling but point is. i gotta try. and i also recognize that up until not that many years ago Nothing could get me out of intense self loathing and resulting punishing (and self harm, under many different forms and disguises). like it took so many years of therapy, countless tries at medication and just a whole lotta suffering to get to the point of even being able to snap out of it by myself (as in, i can recognize i need to stir my life and mindset in a different direction, but it's usually some external force that makes me go Oh. This Needs To Change. which is not bad btw i think. it's good to have other people who can help you realize patterns and things you need to change, be it voluntarily or not even consciously. the shift is just in my mind, no one is actively trying to cause it tho)

one day i hope to get to a point where i realize i need to refocus on treating myself well and it's for the last time. and from then on i will just be kind to myself and show compassion to my mind and body and heart. i mean it's okay if there's gonna be relapses even at that point. but i do hope to get to that point. when i won't have to do this every 5 months, over and over and over. bc i'm not gonna lie it's pretty exhausting! but we'll see. if i can never reach enough self love and peace of mind for that to happen, i guess i'll just have to live with that, you know? but i don't wanna exclude that it could happen. hope won't hurt. i think. there's little point in being like "i will never get better" even if i think/say it of just one aspect of my disorder. i might get better. so i'll keep trying.

already been struggling with feeling like my back pain will never get better, i had a huge breakdown over it today, and if i'm being honest it's been going on all week, it just exploded today. but to circle back to the beginning of this post, it was love that made me realize i shouldn't lose hope and i shouldn't keep punishing myself and ignoring my needs. i mean love in a broad sense btw. i mean people caring about me. i mean a simple how are you?, i mean a 'here's some chocolate for you' after i cried, i mean a pat on the back (even if ouch!), i mean... just selflessly showing interest in my well being. and gentle reminders that i need to take care or myself. that's love to me, and that's the form of love i need the most, at least right now.

so. yeah. don't know if any of this makes sense, but it's okay if it doesn't, i needed to write it for me.

but even so, if you've cared about me at any point in time, well... thank you, i appreciate it and know it has helped!

[creamybitz]

a writing project I'm working on~

Triggering elements in post below : thoughts of depression and semi bullying

The basic plot of it - Vida's 'perfect' life comes crashing down when her boyfriend's sick secrets are revealed to her, and she breaks it off with him. He tells the whole school a completely different story making Vida look like a typical crazy ex. With the help of a couple new friends, she figures out what exactly she needs to do to get the whole truth out. It's gonna be a young-adult type thing with an enemies to friends ( And maybe lovers ;3 ) and it's also gonna have some mystery ! Also sorry if the grammar or anything is off I tried my best editing

"not taking the breakup very well I see." My friend looks at me, a hint of disgust in her eyes. I was in clothes I almost never wore. Sweatpants a t-shirt and a dirty sweatshirt. I mean what was I supposed to do, look pretty? I didn't even think what I choose to wear was even that bad, lots of people wear this kind of shit all the time.

"yeah I really don't care about looking good right now, I'm kinda ya know. Depressed." I used to be at least somewhat happy but I felt mostly sad and unmotivated now, all I could think about was what I would do without him. I feel worthless, tho I usually felt like that It was easier to hide when everything was going well. hiding the deep sense of sadness and worthlessness was easier when people thought I had it all, popularity, a great boyfriend, a good family, and money. What's even the use of hiding it everyone can clearly see now that things are different. I'm not hiding anymore. I don't have a boyfriend to lie to anymore, and surprisingly it felt kind of freeing, still numbing but also kind of freeing. I also don't have to look absolutely perfect all the time anymore. Which I know my family will be against, but I really don't care anymore about all of that. 

  "well if you look good you'll feel good, I mean what do you think people will say about you wearing this? Vida I can see Cheetos dust on your sleeve it's majorly gross!" I roll my eyes, wow what a friend.   "Stacy I don't care about what people think, especially you." I death glare her a bit before walking away and she stands at her locker too shocked to say anything. I don't need her telling me how to handle MY breakup.  I stop at my locker sighing. "you can do it, it's just another day..." I mumble to myself while putting my locker combo in. Every morning that I wake up is dreadful, sometimes I just wish I could sleep for a whole year. Maybe then id be happy. who knows. "Vida!" I look up to see my now ex-boyfriend looking at me. I look up at him, not able to speak or move. To be honest, I ignored him after what happened over spring break by blocking him on everything and strictly avoiding anywhere I knew he might be. I even took an extra week off of school, convincing my mom I was sick was hard but it worked I just wish it would have worked longer. I was planning to avoid him as long as I could but after just a couple of days back he seemed to catch up with me.   "Glad to see you're back. Still feeling sick I see?" He smirks at me while leaning on the locker next to mine. His obvious jab at my looks makes me uncomfortable and embarrassed.  "Um, no I'm fine..." I quietly say before quickly grabbing the things I need and hitting my locker shut, leaving in a hurry to get away from him. Humiliated I decide to look back again to see if he's following me but he is gone, I try not to cry as I continue down the halls thinking of it all. The mixed emotions I feel towards him make me angry because as much as I hate him I still used to love him. Even with all the lies and secrets, I loved him, even if the things he said he felt for me were fake, the love and passion I used to feel towards him weren't tho it'd be easier if they were. 

  All day I notice people staring at me, even people I don't know which makes me feel even worse. I just wish I could be invisible even if it was only for a few days, a few hours even. With every class, I feel more anxious, and more done with it all. I tell myself I can get thru another terrible day but I don't think I can. I stand up as soon as the bell rings, ignoring the teacher trying to make me stay, "miss Lopez ple-" I fly out the door with my hood up while looking down not caring about if I am in trouble or not because seconds later I'm lost in a sea of other students and he can not find me, I rush my self to the cafeteria before realizing that's the last place I want to be... to my car it is! I walk out the side doors of the school with my backpack, not like I wanna come back so why should I? I look up from the ground trying to find where the smell of cigarette smoke is coming from. "wow, Vida Lopez skipping? would of never guessed that." I roll my eyes, fucking Hunter Madden, he smirks at me while sitting at one of the round metal picnic-style tables that are out here. "wow, I can't believe you still are the most annoying person I know. I am not in the mood so kindly shut the fuck up." I say more than I mean to but he chuckles to my response. "wow, even with your circumstances you are still as feisty as you were. would have thought you might be nicer hm guess I'm wrong."  He bends down to put his cig out and I can't help but notice how strong his arms look in the white T-shirt he is wearing I gulp looking away from him. I had always found him somewhat attractive, annoying yes, but attractive. " yeah whatever not like anyone cares about me so why should I even be nice." I look towards him again, what is he even doing out here? "That sounds like a bad way to live." I scoff as if hunter maddens had ever been anything but an asshole.

"yeah well, I'm going thru some shit so I'd rather not be bantering like this right now." I turn to walk away but I stop at what he says, "Well, I mean I've heard some things... A lot of rumors are going around about it all." chills run on my skin as I recap what happened. "I don't wanna think about it." my stomach churns and I feel embarrassed, he's had to of lied to people.   "Um, so what have you heard?.." I know I said I didn't want to talk about it but he also would of never told the whole truth, maybe just a fraction of it but I want to know how much he's twisted up the story, to probably make me look like the bad guy. "Well like I said it's all rumors and I try not to believe stupid shit like that without proof. Plus it's his-..." He stops for a moment looking at me sadly. "It what?"...  I take a seat next to him hoping he tells me what he stopped himself from saying. "It's mostly his friends saying all this shit laughing and joking about it, which basically means your friends are saying it... you hang out with them, don't you?"  tho I am not surprised it still hurts. I feel tears fall down my face and I don't try to stop them. All the anxiety and pent-up emotions flow out as I quietly sob into my hands. "Oh no, I uh- I didn't mean to make you cry." he comes closer to me, pulling me into a hug. "It's not you, just with James and Stacy and everyone else I'm so stressed. It sucks!" I hug him crying into his shoulder.  "Maybe you should take the rest of the day off?" I get off of him to dry my face with the sleeve of my sweatshirt. " Yeah probably, that's what I was planning on doing anyways. That's why I'm out here." He smiles, "Maybe we can hang together, I was planning on skipping too." I smile at the thought, I could use a friend right now. Even if it is Hunter Madden.    "Sure," I pause for a second looking into his eyes, "I'd like that."

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Please note that I own this plot and this story and that I will not tolerate plagiarism or stealing. If reposted you must make it clear that it is my work and not yours by tagging me, stating it isn't your work, and stating whose work it is by mentioning my @

Please leave your opinions/thoughts Thanks for reading ! ~ Dot

[ruth-posts-pokemon]

Well, guess I should introduce myself but like, a little more in-depth than I did in my bio. Sooo, pinned post time!

My name’s Ruth! I use she/her and they/them pronouns, and I’m an ace demigirl. I’m from southern Unova, and have only been a trainer for a few years, but I’d like to think I’m at least a halfway decent one. I’ve kiiiinda tried the gym challenge but it’s not a huge priority of mine, I mostly just wander around wherever and then stuff and things happen to me. Isn’t that just how life is? Anyways I’ve got ADHD and also am not the best at doing the whole being a normal person thing, but I’m still happy to chat and answer questions and stuff when my executives are not being dysfunctional. I’ve only been lurking for, what, 3 years…

I have more than six Pokémon, but I’ll go ahead and introduce the usual party I have with me.

Red Tide: Dhelmise that showed up while I was minding my own business tossing pokébeans into a saltwater canal and then followed me even after I ran out. Technically my starter since they were the first Pokémon I ever caught but as you can imagine the situation was far from the usual planned or scheduled or otherwise not spur of the moment sorta deal. Something something insert comparison to Ponyta girl movie trope minus saving a farm. They’re pretty docile and don’t seem to have much interest in battle, but apparently they’re really old and really strong?? Certainly saved my behind a few times, I can say that much… Oh I should also probably mention they’re the red Dhelmise in my profile picture. No, I still don’t really know how they were holding that toy. Red Tide does what Red Tide wants.

Lumen: Chandelure, but I caught her as a Litwick. Basically I was hoping to get a birthday gift for my mom and found her terrorizing a Bed Bath & Beyond by trying to burn all of the actual candles. Decided I’d try to do the employees a favor and ended up having to spend most of my cash on candles to convince the little arsonist to follow me, and then she didn’t stop following me even after the bait candles were destroyed, and the rest is history. Nowadays Lumen is only mostly a little shit(affectionate) who I can somewhat trust not to do arson if left to her own devices. On one hand it’s nice that her mischief isn’t destructive, on the other you have no idea how many times I’ve been woken up because SOMEONE decided to use the smoke alarm to get attention. At least she quickly figured out trying to pick on Red Tide was a great way to get a liquidation to her whole self.

Soul: Aegislash, I found him as a Honedge at a Renaissance Faire looking really confused and lost. Er, well I mean he kinda found me and I just didn’t notice for a while... Might’ve started hanging around when I visited the booth selling replica swords, he would’ve blended in perfectly there. Almost had the world’s worst high-five when noticing Red Tide’s little shadow, but things worked out and I guess the two liked each other enough for him to want to join the team. Or maybe they were doing the Dewpiderman pointing meme at each other over being red. Anyways, he’s always been shy, even after evolving, but he’s definitely not nearly as timid as he started out. Still tends to hide behind anyone or anything he can in unfamiliar situations, though. And also definitely didn’t get his name from a final boss in a game series I really like on account of them both having similar colors and one eye. Lumen doesn’t terrorize him anymore but I don’t think they have much of a bond either, just tolerance.

Kazoo: I and everyone around me always expected I’d be a bug trainer, but it took all the way until finding Kazoo to have my first bug type. He’s a Galvantula now, just kinda showed up in the house one day and kept unplugging my 3DS to feast at the outlet, and like. What was I supposed to do, kick out a little Joltik in the middle of a hailstorm? Just a little creacher whos only crime was being hungy and not knowing what an electric bill is? Send him out to get conked in the head by ice chunks almost a fifth of his own size? I simply could not do it, and that’s how I ended up with funny little guy who probably has one or two thoughts throughout any given week. He didn’t even care about being held like burger! What a guy. I don’t think any of my Pokémon don’t get along with him— Soul actually warmed up to him really fast, even— though Red Tide does sometimes get tired of having their wheel used as an inconvenient perch that spins around. He used to help me save on dryer sheets by simply eating the laundry static, but now I have to deal with a spider who really wants his mandated warm laundry basket bed time and long story short be careful what you teach your Galvantulas as Joltiks. Small price to pay for Kazoo.

Barque: Lapras, and the only core team member I actually battled to capture— that situation was what actually got Kazoo to evolve. Red Tide needed an ocean buddy, fully evolved Lumen needed to be kept under control, and I needed a Pokémon that could use Surf and actually move faster than a walking pace. She’s probably the most interested in battle out of the gang, even more than Lumen, and uh… They don’t really get along, but that’s mostly because local chandelier likes causing problems on purpose and local boat animal likes stopping her from causing problems on purpose. For better or worse. It’s not on sight anymore thankfully. She gets along great with everyone else, and seems to do a good job of keeping the peace when everyone’s out of their balls. Out of curiosity a while back I had some testing done, and apparently she’s all the way from the coast of Galar! Quite the trip to have made.

Cheerio: They are a Meltan and I found them in the trash. Legit had no idea what they were at first because my ‘dex didn’t recognize them, but folks online were able to give me the important info. If Kazoo is baby, then Cheerio is like, mega baby. Creacher with a baby license. Fittingly, they’re best pals with Kazoo, and it’s really cute to watch them hanging out. Soul seems suspicious of them, and Red Tide used to be(and I think is still a bit intimidating to the lil fella on account of being hugelarge), but they were quick to figure out what metal is off limits so I don’t see any problems arising there. Barque is actually a bit protective of them and Lumen wasn’t even given the chance to try and pick on them like she did Soul, but I get the feeling even she wouldn’t have really had it in her to bully what is more or less a metallic blob baby. When not in their ball Cheerio likes hanging out under my hat or on Barque’s head. They’re heavier than you’d expect, but then again they are made of metal, so… Anyways if anything happened to them I’d KO everyone in the room and then myself.

Aaand that’s the gang. One of these days I’ll get around to sharing pictures of everyone, and maybe talk about some of my other ’mons, too. Spoiler alert: Barque is the only one who doesn’t fit with the theme of just showed up in my life one day and made themself at home/catching them was somewhat of an impulse decision that worked out/I didn’t know how else to check if I was about to make a new friend or get murderized to death by a wild animal. You know how it is in Unova.

[lostacelonnie]

Hi welcome back! God i feel that life has been wild lately so i totally understand. Oh hey no worries ive been in a boat too of like. Man i really want to do this thing but my energy just isnt there. Yikes i hope you enter a stage of having more rest time soon. 8 exams? What the hell thats too many. Baking is a fun hobby i love to partake in that one myself. I like to make sweet breads & such. & its good to have a hobby to like. Pull yourself out of your head when stuff like school gets to be too much. Having to exist in public unfortunately means people will sometimes try to talk to you when you just. Want to go about your day. That is surprising but i also went to school with mostly a bunch of pricks who were awful people so. Had to look up what gran canaria is but it sounds like a nice place id love to visit sometime. Clearly schools work on fae rules. I will save for ruan mei i swear. After i pull archeron. I got black swan with the free pulls i had saved so im hoping to nab archeron. I instantly fell in love with her. Very nice clara supremacy she is so good. One day ill have her on main. I think i stopped at tb 60 so i can work on a few characters but the artifact grind hates me. Oh that sounds real interesting i cant wait to see it play out i just finished the bit where cocolia turned bronya & took the one herrscher at uh. Ch 3 end? Oh i know that one! Catarina my beloved she's so stupid i love her. Easily one of the best protags in recent memory. Dunmeshi is real good so far ive been enjoying it & seeing my girl marcille animated is everything i hoped for. Love my favorite fail girl elf. Im caught up on penacony & still dont understand the racist sparkle thing. Might be i wasnt fully paying attention at the time though. Seele confirmed for best girl by all herscherrs. Oh she must have a good amount of lore im excited to read that. Oh so thats what that means okay. Kinda love that it sounds fun. & more good natured than when people here say that about america. Good luck on surviving i believe in you!

HI THANK YOU!!!! god it really has. and the weather here has been so gloomy recently that i have no energy to do anything even if i have the time. the horrors are endless but we stay silly. and thankies once again!!! i MIRACULOUSLY managed to not fail anything so were all good. unfortunately this month is also already packed but luckily its stuff i more or less either know [polish] or like [geography]. and two of the teachers i disliked got fired AJDKFJG. history guy for offering to raise students' grades if they go around spreading konfederacja [a polish extremely far-right party] flyers and that math teacher who couldnt count for saying hitler was a good person. just another day in a polish school, i guess. but both of our replacement teachers are very cool so we're so back. god yeah totally!!! not only do i have something to do for a while but i ALSO get to eat at the end. literally a win/win situation. yeah that Is annoying but as i mentioned its luckily not as common over here.... and ouhggh pain. gran canaria is VERY beautiful but id also like to visit the other canary islands someday...... the carnival on tenerife is one of the, if not the biggest, ones in spain so thatd be fun to see as well. i only missed the celebrations on gran canaria by one day which was quite annoying but oh well. GOD YEAH. im still convinced School Air is a thing bc i simply cannot explain so many things without that assumption. GOOD LUCK WITH BOTH RUAN MEI AND ACHERON!!! im also saving for acheron hehehehe. strange woman and a mei expy so shes a must pull. and also congrats on the black swan!!!! i agree clara is just. cracked. she has carried me through this game and she continues to do so. tho sim uni gold and gears is kinda beating my ass ngl. since i only have the nodes that require full cognition range left to do. oh absolutely fair, i did that for a while and rn am doing the same but with tl 65. but i DID manage to finallyyyyyy max out wolfie's skills the other day so thats done. i do want to get one better artifact for her but i have chars im prioritizing a bit more. and same the artifact grind hates everyone i think. planar ornaments are much easier to grind imo or at least I Personally have much better luck with them than with cavern of corrosion stuff. but that may also be because i genuinely enjoy doing sim uni so it doesnt feel like as much as a chore as coc. AND OH HAVE FUN THEN!!!! the wendy arc, ironically, is the event that kinda butterfly effect causes Literally The Whole game. CATARINA IS VERY FUN YEAH i look forward to finally continuing that.... and dunmesh as well......... oh and with the sparkle thing afaik its much more prominent in the chinese version because. now dont quote me on this because I Do Not Speak Chinese but i have heard that when talking to aventurine, she uses an Actual Chinese Slur Against Romani People. which. not cool. but yeah its somewhat of a strange issue and ive seen a lot of different opinions from both sides so tbh idk where i stand on the whole thing. SEELE 🔛🔝!!! and dw im Working on the summary but ive also realized how much time its gonna take me to write down All Of That so please give me some time i promise ill get it done asap but ah. and yeah its very fun!! i generally feel like a lot of polish humor [ESPECIALLY online but irl as well] isnt quite as. Patriotic as that of the us. but to each their own adjfkjs. AND THANK YOU o7!!!!

[tributepordoom]

Why am I here. Why am I doing this. I lost someone. Plain and simple. And I came here to vent and work through it without bothering them. Simply put. I fucked up. A lot. And they decided to move on. And I can’t yet. This is my therapy. We would talk everyday. For years. And now. There’s a huge gaping hole in my life and my heart that I just don’t want to fill yet. I hardly feel anything anymore. And my biggest mistake was pretending I didn’t for her for so long that she went from being in love with me to basically looking for a way to make me hate her so I would leave since she didn’t want to be the one to end it all. And I kinda gave her her wish. Our last day together. Or rather the last time we messaged each other. It was going downhill. And instead of doing anything positive. I did what I do. I shoved her away and cut off everything. Deleted my socials. Turned what May have been something we could have saved into something irretrievably broken. I rescinded. After a few days. It was long enough. I tried reaching out to nothing. Text after text not even seen. Just ignored. Then weeks went by. And then seen popped up. But no response. I watched the minutes tick by. Then hours. Days. Then it hit “seen last week”. And I knew there was nothing left there.

Just cause I’m holding on doesn’t mean they are. I want to try and ask why and what did I do but I know. I was an awful, can’t even call it boyfriend. We never made it official. My doing. I held her at bay. Constantly making excuses. It would offend people. Your friends will talk. Etc. Always something. You ever know you’re fucking yo royally but can’t stop yourself and you claim it’s to protect yourself but really deep down it’s because you just can’t accept someone may love you unconditionally. That someone may see in you something good when all you feel is bad and wrong and not even human most of the time. You convince yourself your a monster so long that you can’t ever begin to understand why someone would like you, let alone love you. And you can’t express it. Even now. I barely can even behind anonymity. But. It’s to face the truth. I ruined it. I tried pushing them further and further to see how far they’d go before they left. Then say there crying and whining and begging for their return. Maybe that was to keep them away too. Drive them further into someone else’s arms. I was never needy clingy or begged the entire time we knew each other and knew they hated that so I became that. Maybe to make sure they don’t ever come back and stay gone.

Gone they are. I reached out over every platform I could to nothing. Not even being blocked. Which I took as a sign of maybe they want me but are unsure. But as time drug on. It seemed more that I wasn’t even worth that. Just sent to some restricted folder cause I was spamming messages like a desperate teen. I feel some relief that they got away. Out of this stupid toxic cycle. I hope they aren’t crying anymore. Or if they are it’s not cause of me. I tell myself they’re miserable without me but I also hope they aren’t and have something or someone. Friend or more that keeps them grounded and doesn’t make them romanticize our past or make them rethink cutting me off. I can’t even really say that since it was me that did it. And even though I regret it. And tried to walk it back. I didn’t do that right away either. I waited. Maybe this is the outcome I’ve been pushing for all along. I always said they belonged with someone else. Someone better. I never tried to be better though. I stayed in my rut and expected them to wallow in it with me instead of going out and living our lives together.

I feel I warped her into something she was never meant to be then tried desperately to drag her back to me once she was free. I’m sad she’s gone. But I’m happy she’s gone if that makes sense. And maybe I’ll one day be the better person she deserves. The better person I deserve to be. But it feels a long way off. I’ve done some things. I leave the house everyday now no matter what. Even if it’s to go on a quick drive. I used to go weeks without stepping out my front door. She’s bought me so much art stuff to try and get me to draw or color or anything. I finally used it. Like starting from scratch. It’s been so long that some of the sharpies she bought are all dry and I haven’t even used them. I still keep them in the container she bought anyway. I can’t toss them out. There’s figures sitting in storage that she bought that I wouldn’t display. So much of her still in my life. I was convinced she did nothing for me ever but now that she’s gone it’s all I see. And then it becomes even more clear that she didn’t leave a few weeks ago. I pushed her away a long time ago. She tried so hard for so long and I couldn’t see past my depression or PTSD and let her in. I got so lost in the comfort of my misery that I didn’t see what it was doing to her. And now that I’m waking up from what feels like a decades long nightmare. I think she’s gone for good. Maybe we’ll be friends again one day. We have similar circles so our paths are bound to cross somewhere. At a bar. A birthday party. But for now I am doing this. Writing to her here so I don’t intrude in her life or mess up her progress to being free and happy. Which I know I have done for a while now. She spent so long trying to reach me I think she lost herself. And when I cut her off it freed her and she deserves to find herself. I doubt any future includes me but I I kind of don’t want it to. Not the me she left. Sad. Depressed. Afraid to go be a part of the world. Living on minimum wage work and quitting any job the second they want to advance me. Hiding from myself and my own capabilities. Refusing to be artistic or express myself in that way. Refusing to even acknowledge any talent in anything. Just refusing to move forward and staying stuck in trauma and defining myself by it. It’s a long journey forward. But hopefully this is the first step. Maybe I’ll meet you in this path. Maybe you’ll see it and be proud from a distance. To hurt by me and what and who I was to never dare to venture close again. I know it’s what I deserve after everything I put you through. Maybe the pain of it all will diminish in time and we can figure it out.

[hitnran]

OBSESSIVE EX (gender neutral! reader)

how they deal with you having an obsessive ex

includes: ran, rindou

CW: obsessive behavior, cursing, stalking (ran), phone harassment (rindou), the haitani brothers lowkey kinda scary here (not to the reader) 💀 but i’m just trying to make it fit within their character

— RAN HAITANI

Getting into a relationship with someone like Ran, half of the charismatic brother duo that ruled Roppongi, almost means guaranteed safety wherever you go. His title itself is one that is feared when murmured. Whenever you two leave, he always has an eye and a hand on you. Ran knows well that even if he is feared, he can also be challenged and the last thing he wants is for you to get involved — you would make an easy target for his enemies.

You two were out together on a stroll around the city. Although there was nothing neither of you needed, Ran’s favorite thing is showing you off. Sometimes you start to feel similar to his younger brother, thinking that you’re just a shadow and only known as ‘Ran’s partner.’ But Ran’s intentions were opposite. He wanted everyone to know that it was him that belonged to you and it is him that people would have to deal with if you were ever tested.

As you two are walking, Ran noticed your eyes consistently checking itself to the side. He took note of that and eventually brushed it off since you stopped. But then he noticed that you were being especially keen and scanning the whole area.

“Are you okay, love?” Ran slightly hunches down, getting your attention as your face turns his way. He lightly smiles at you. “Did you see something you liked?”

You swallowed down hard. You could’ve sworn you saw a familiar face, but after trying to scan the area numerous times for the past few minutes, you thought it was just you being paranoid. The last thing you wanted was to worry Ran and cause a scene.

“I’m okay,” You shook your head, returning a light smile. You grabbed on his arm, this time a little tighter. “Let’s turn into this corner.”

Ran knows when you’re lying. He knew something made you uncomfortable, but he wasn’t going to force you to tell him. Instead, he’ll make it his own problem too and deal with it himself.

This area was his territory and everyone knew it. It was almost as if Roppongi, a city known for liveliness, calmed down ever so slightly if one or both of the brothers were out. Everyone’s gaze wound be kept low and their conversations would go mute as they walk by.

At that moment, Ran could feel a pair of eyes staring your way. He won’t make it obvious though.

“Love,” Ran called out to you. You looked up his direction and he placed a hand against your lower back. “Rindou’s gonna throw a fit if I don’t bring back food for him. How about you go into the restaurant and order first while I call him and ask what he wants?”

You felt at ease hearing that you two were finally going to be in somewhere indoors, but it made you nervous that he would be separated from you for just a little while.

“Don’t wanna bring something back he won’t like and have him complain,” Ran lightly laughed, trying to ease your clear discomfort. He placed a hand over your head. Taking out his phone to add to his act. “I’ll be quick.”

After some hesitation, you gave in. It was a public space after all, so it shouldn’t have been anything to worry too much about. He watched as you entered the place before turning around, sending chills to the person who had been following you two around this whole time.

“Would be a shame if I left them alone for too long, wouldn’t it?” Ran gave off a sinister grin, slowly walking towards the person. “Wouldn’t want anyone to take them away…especially someone like you.”

Ran knew who this person was. He was an obsessive ex of yours that just would not leave you alone and accept the separation despite it being years passed. He gulped hard, nervously stepping back, not thinking that he would get caught.

“You were so bold to even follow us in the first place, why so shy now?” Ran smirked, hiking up the sleeves of his sweatshirt. “This is the first time you’ve heard of me or something? I should introduce myself to you well and hard then.”

Almost ten minutes had passed since you’ve been waiting for Ran. You sat patiently and waited. Your best guess as to what’s taking him so long revolves around Rindou. Maybe he was complaining about how he wanted food from a different place or being picky about menu opinions. Just as you were about to raise yourself from your seat to check up on Ran, you saw him enter.

“Did I make you wait too long?” Ran appeared, seating himself in front of you. The worse case scenario you had in mind was that he got into a fight, but in front of you, he looked just as how you last saw him. “You know how Rindou is.”

Your chest became relaxed and you gave a small smile, shaking your head, “What did he want from here?”

“I didn’t even listen to what he said,” Ran teased, opening up his menu and leaning back against the chair. You felt his legs sandwich your calves from beneath the table. “He can order it himself. All my money is going to you today.”

And that was how Ran liked it. Although Ran wanted everyone to know that he belonged to you, he knew how important it was for others to know that you belonged to him too. The image of the face of your ex is burned so clearly into his brain — face all bloodied up, mauled almost, as he failed to even whisper for forgiveness.

“I think there’s only one way I’m gonna let you outta here alive,” Ran kicked his body down with force, hearing something shift in his jaw. He couldn’t give half a damn about it. “Do you know what that is?”

Your ex was visibly beaten and weak now, barely able to even blink or properly form a sentence. Though, with his adam’s apple slightly moving from fear, Ran took it as a response.

Grabbing him by his hair upward, Ran bent down, looking straight at him, “You’re gonna leave them alone and never show your goddamn face again. If it wasn’t fucked already before, it sure is now. I promise you I’ll know if you’re even barely visible or a mile away, I won’t hesitate to kill you.”

Ran thought it was so disgusting how someone like you could ever have your time wasted on someone low like this ex of yours. Even if Ran saw him and his brother above everyone else, he always put you above him.

“Maybe even after this, I’ll send one of my men to go and beat the shit out of you every day so you could suffer for as long as you’ve tried to bother Y/N.”

— RINDOU HAITANI

Rindou can’t even remember what it took for you two to even reach this state of your guys relationship. He convinced himself that it was Ran, his older brother who wouldn’t shut up about how he was going to take you if Rindou didn’t make a move.

It genuinely surprises himself even whenever he looks your way, observing every detail and soaking in the idea that you are someone he can call his.

You two were watching a movie, or rather, supposed to. Rindou was too focused on side-eyeing you every now and then. You caught him a few times, but he would brush it off with comments like “this movie is boring” or “I’m just checking to see if you fell asleep.”

He would snap himself out of a trance after hearing your phone ring beside you. You eyed it once, looking at the caller ID and ignoring it. It wasn’t enough to cause Rindou to worry - it’s not his problem if you just didn’t wanna answer a call, it was your guys’ time anyway.

But then it rang once more again. Your ringtone dragged itself out halfway through before Rindou slightly raised his hand from your hip, pointing to the phone on the side of the couch.

“You not gonna answer that?” He asked.

You shook your head, eyes focused on the TV, “It’s fine. It’s an unknown caller ID.”

Rindou shrugged, ignoring it once again, but after a few more calls and your phone receiving back to back text messages, it was starting to irk him. He was close to just grabbing your phone and answering the call himself, but you were quick to act before him, just shutting it off.

“It must be spam or something,” You sighed, sitting back down.

“Yeah, well whatever it is, good thing you shut that damn thing off. That shit was annoying,” Rindou sighed, curling his arms around you again. “Let’s change the movie too or something. This one is boring.”

One thing about dating Rindou is that he seems uninterested in absolutely everything he does. Although you avoid thinking like that when it comes to your relationship with him, you always remind yourself that Rindou is someone who deeply cares for you. He shows it very differently compared to others, but you know.

He can recall a memory from a few weeks ago where you kept getting calls in the middle of your guys’ date. It annoyed him, but not as much as it annoyed you. You’ve pressed the red decline button at least five times now, stressing over it and spilling out everything about your previous ex.

At the end of your rant, Rindou grabbed your phone, picking up the call and saying words as simple as “leave them alone.” It was so simple, but for the next few weeks, it was silent. You finally thought you were free of harassment thanks to your boyfriend, but recently, they’ve been coming back as unknown caller IDs and more frequent than before.

Halfway through the movie, Rindou felt your body become more loose and relaxed beneath him. Your breath became slower and more steady. You had fallen asleep. He thought it was ironic to have someone as angelic as you in the arms of someone like him - a gang member always involving himself in trouble, even just for fun.

He stared at your phone just a reach away and then back at you. The last thing Rindou wanted was for you to be uncomfortable, or really, anything that isn’t where you aren’t happy.

When you woke up, the TV was shut off and you felt a blanket drape over your body. You realized you had fallen asleep from earlier, but you were expecting to find your boyfriend with you as well. That was when the door swung open and you were greeted with Rindou.

“Rindou?” You slowly let out, still adjusting from waking up. “I didn’t know you left.”

He raised a bag up midway in the air, it’s a bag from a bakery you often bought from, “You kept murmuring about it in your sleep. Didn’t want you to wake up all grumpy.”

“I don’t wake up grumpy!” You protested, watching as he took his seat next to you and unpacking all of your favorites.

“Yeah, okay,” Rindou joked. He listened to you puffing out before wrapping yourself around his arm.

“Thank you though,” You murmured out of embarrassment - maybe he was half right.

“It’s nothing,” He replied, softening his face into a grin. “Must’ve been hungry though if it got you talking in your sleep and drooling on my arm.”

You didn’t even know about half of the things he does for you, but he didn’t mind it, because if you were happy, then that was all that mattered.

It made Rindou feel guilty to turn on your phone and look through it. It wasn’t something that he ever felt the need to do - he trusted you and it felt wrong if you weren’t aware that he was using it. Though, at this time, he felt like it was for the better.

While you were silently sleeping, he browsed through your texts. It’s that same person - your ex back again to bother you. Rindou scoffed, making sure it wasn’t loud enough to wake you up, but he was angry. He clicked his tongue whilst composing a message.

Rindou knew you would never be so stupid as to meet up with someone like this, especially not after already experiencing it once. It was a good thing that it was just Rindou posing as you though. How delighted your ex felt to have finally received a response to you - ‘Let’s meet up here.’

Rindou thought it was so pathetic. This guy had no idea what he looked like, let alone that you even had a boyfriend. So when Rindou’s immediate reaction upon seeing him was to throw a punch, he was shocked.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Your ex cried out, trying his best to dodge his attacks but failing in between his words and attempts.

“Me?!” Rindou snapped, pushing him to the ground and twisting his arms. “Speak for yourself.”

The man beneath him screamed in pain, “I-I’ll call the cops on you and have you arrested!”

“Yeah? You think they’ll give me less time if I tell them I was just trying to teach a creep a lesson?” Rindou pulled back on his arms a little harder, tendons and muscles stretching themselves out of place.

“T-The hell are you talking about?!” He stuttered out.

“Don’t bitch around. Might end yourself up in there if you keep this act of yours up - I’ve been once before,” Rindou smirked, pulling back more and more on his arms. “It was fine for me. My big bro and I even got some respect while in there, so what’s gonna happen when they hear about your name from me? You’re fresh meat to them.”

“W-Who even are you?!”

Rindou scoffed, “The same guy who warned you once to leave Y/N alone. I should’ve honestly went to find you myself personally and beat the shit out of you, but I hate wasting my time.”

Your boyfriend let the man go. If his arms weren’t all bent out of place and dislocated, he’d be crawling away by now. It was a sight that Rindou would laugh at. Upon seeing that his phone had fallen out of his pocket, the same phone used to consistently harass you, Rindou stomped down hard, breaking it into bits and pieces.

“Don’t waste my time again. Next time you do, call the cops, I promise you I won’t care if they catch me killing you,” Rindou turned his back around.

[scaramoon]

he accidentally hurts you while sparring

DILUC, KAEYA, XIAO, CHILDE — gn!reader

warnings/genre: kinda hurt/comfort? idk it’s mostly fluffy, mentions of blood and (very) minor injuries, swearing in childe’s

notes: rbs are v much appreciated, please and ty !! also pls ignore that i got carried away w xiao’s </3

━━ diluc;

you’ll have to be insistent if you even want him to spar with you; he knows you’re fully capable of standing your ground but... he’s worried

he’ll act like he doesn’t, but it’s obvious that he keeps close by whenever you’re sparring with someone

but if you wear him down enough or you’re good with your words, you can convince him to be your sparring partner

lmao just tell him you’ll get kaeya to do it 💀

“don’t- don’t hold your sword like that.” he said, his tone was flat but you’d known him long enough to be able to find the concern in it.

“i know how to hold a sword, diluc,” you responded. “i asked for a partner, not a teacher, remember?”

red eyes flashed towards you and something like a smile appeared on your lover’s lips. you mirrored it, letting your lips curl into a grin.

“of course,” he said, smallest hint of a playful tone in his voice.

but he was quick, and you may have underestimated just how well trained he was. normally, you could have blocked him. this time, however, you weren’t expecting it and you’d already began to drop your dominant hand to your side.

he noticed that, but he was just a little too late. diluc was used to the momentum of his weapon, but it wasn’t often that he had to stop it. he tried to step back before he hurt you, your name falling from his lips, desperation and worry coating his voice.

and then, just as soon as he’s processed it, his claymore was on the ground and he was watching you crouch and hold your upper arm. your seethe of pain sent guilt rushing through him.

it took him a moment to decide whether or not to go over to you; he wanted to, he really wanted to, but a part of him feared that you didn’t want him near you.

he couldn’t help it though.

“y/n?” diluc’s tone was almost a command, loud but desperate, wanting you to look at him and tell him that you were perfectly fine — wanting that to be the truth.

tears pricked in the corners of your eyes but you looked at him nonetheless. he hated that look in your eyes. seeing you in pain was one thing, but the knowledge that he was the cause of it twisted his heart in unbearable ways.

“i’m ok, diluc,” you said, quieter than you normally would. “just a little scratch, see?”

you moved your hand from where it was holding onto your arm. blood coated your fingers and the clothing surrounding the new wound, but it was clear that the cut wasn’t deep.

he didn’t say anything. his lips were pressed into a thin line as he kneeled beside you. eyebrows pinned in worry and concentration evident in his eyes, he started ripping at your sleeve to get a better look.

“diluc.” you said. your voice was more commanding this time as you moved away from him. why couldn’t he see it really wasn’t so bad?

“i didn’t mean to hurt you.” this time you could see clearly just how distressed he was.

he looked like he was about to cry and he wasn’t the one that’d been hurt. not physically, anyway; you had no idea how his chest hurt, how he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

you stared at him for a little longer. “i said i’m fine. but if it will help you sleep at night, you can come help me clean it, deal?”

“of course, dove.”

━━ kaeya;

he actually likes sparring with you

he doesn’t often get the chance, but whenever both of you are able to, he sees it as time he gets to spend with you

and any time spent with you is never time wasted in his eyes

plus he gets to do the sword under your chin thing and tease you </3

“dead.” you said proudly, standing over your lover, your sword under his chin.

a playful grin spread across his lips as he let you enjoy your win. you backed away and allowed him to stand up, dust himself off. a stretch of his arms, and then he was picking up his sword to go again.

“ready?” kaeya asked, smirk stretching his lips.

“yeah,” you said, smiling back. your gloved hand tightened around your sword’s hilt; the gloves were making your hands sweaty, your grip loosening. “actually, w-”

“y/n!”

the next thing you realized was a stinging at you side. your hand immediately came to the cut, taking an instinctive step back. the sound of kaeya’s sword hitting the ground met your ears, his hands were on your arms a second later.

“hey, hey, you’re okay.” he tried to sound calm but if was a bad attempt. he crouched down onto the ground, guiding you to sit in front of him. cautious hands grabbed the hem of your shirt, kaeya looking up at you. “can I look, love?”

“yeah, but I’m fine.” you said, though your face was twisted in pain.

his eyes were full of pity when he looked at you, jaw clenching before he lifted your shirt enough to see the wound. on first appearance, it looked worse than it really was.

“see?” you spoke again. “all good.”

he didn’t say anything at first. he just pulled you closer to him, chin hooked over your shoulder, though he was careful not to agitate your cut.

“not really. but it’s okay, we’re gonna get you all better, yeah?”

“kaeya, seriously, i’m fine. you don’t need-”

“y/n.” his voice was still sweet and concerned, but more stern when he spoke this time. “let me take care of you.”

“...fine.”

━━ xiao;

good luck getting him to spar with you in the first place

it doesn’t matter how much you tell him you want to, he’ll keep turning you down

needless to say, you’ll have to play your cards right to get him to agree to it

“what if i hurt you, y/n?”

“i’ll be under-trained and get hurt if you don’t help me.”

“you know i’ll always be there if you call for me.”

“and if you can’t come?”

“...”

“I don’t think this is a good idea.” he stated simply, eyes narrowing at you. you only threw him a smile.

“what’s the worst that can happen? you won’t even use your real pole arm, you have a stick. you can’t stab me with it, xiao.”

“I would rather not think about ‘stabbing’ you in the first place.” he huffed. “but... you need to be safe, in case one day I can’t keep you safe myself.”

a smile crossed your face as you gripped your weapon, ready for him to start.

you may have miscalculated the power and ability of an adeptus though. you quickly found yourself tired and overwhelmed, just blocking and dodging was almost too much. he could sense your fatigue already, and he was listening for you to call him to stop. xiao was ready to stop on a dime, but he knew that you were stubborn and insistent.

his “pole arm” came close to your side, and he really thought you would dodge this one. you’d done it before. but he felt the wood hit you, you falling to the ground, holding your side soon after.

his make-shift weapon was long forgotten now. he was kneeling beside you in seconds, gentle fingers running along what he was sure was a broken rib. he didn’t find one, but the guilt was already eating him and that knowledge did nothing to stop it.

“ow! that hurts, don’t touch me.” you said, seething in pain and making a pitiful attempt to move away from him.

xiao did not cry.

he didn’t, it just wasn’t something he was accustomed to, and quite honestly he wasn’t sure if adepti could cry. but the idea of you being scared of him started tears to fill his eyes; his chest was tight, and he had this uncomfortable lump in his throat.

“no, no,” you started, propping yourself on your elbows and then sitting all the way up.

you tried to reach and hold his face, to wipe the tears off, but he turned away from you; he kept kneeling, but shifted to a position a little farther away from you. the adeptus made a noise something like a squeak, and it seemed to surprise him. he didn’t wait for you to finish talking, he turned away and looked anywhere except you.

“xiao, baby, that’s not what I meant. you can- I just meant don’t put your hands directly where I got hurt... xiao? can you look at me?”

it took him a few more moments before he turned his head back to you. you knew he wasn’t always the most emotional, but you didn’t think you’d seen him like this before. he hummed, not trusting his voice. still, he wouldn’t look you in the eyes.

“I’m fine, you didn’t hurt me. its just a little bruise, there’s not even blood... I’m not scared of you, xiao, it’s not your fault.”

he stared at you for another moment before he cleared his throat and stood up. “can we at least have someone make sure you’re okay?”

“yeah.”

“...and you won’t ask me to do that again?”

“of course not.”

━━ childe;

he has mixed feelings about sparring with you

of course, it’s an odd form of quality time, but he likes it

plus that means he won’t have to watch you spar with anyone else

but there’s always the risk that you could get hurt

he’s an archer though, so he only “attacks” you with his melee — he thought he was being a lot more careful

“ready?” childe smiled, twirling one of his weapons around his finger.

“as always.” you said, gripping your own weapon.

“mhm, sweetheart, I’m sure you’re ‘always ready’,” childe said dropped his hands to his sides and stepping closer to you.

you knew what he was trying to do — he attempted to pull this off every time you sparred with him, and you never failed to catch him. seem relaxed, and whenever you thought he wouldn’t, he’d attempt to get the better of you.

this time, however, you were not as quick as you usually were. childe knew that you always saw through this; not once had you’d failed to block him, so maybe he put his trust in his weapons more than he should have.

he stopped when both of you look at the clean, but bloody, cut he’d made. his eyes widened as it sinked in, coming to the realization that he’d hurt you

“y/n- shit, I’m sorry,” he said, panic clear in his voice, though he tried to hide it. his hand was on your shoulder, guiding you to sit on the ground. “are you- you’re okay, it’s not that deep. we’re gonna get that healed and you’ll be fine, yeah?”

for words so reassuring, his panicked tone was saying something along the lines of ‘shit shit fuck dammit, i accidentally hurt my own partner, what the fuck-’

“yeah, it’s no biggie,” you said, smiling a little at him. “it’s just a little cut, I get worse on commissions.”

you knew that later he would claim he was totally calm. in reality, he was trying his best to clean the wound with his vision, and he’d get better help whenever he could get to bubu pharmacy.

“you owe me kisses though, y’know,” you teased.

‘good,’ he thought. ‘they aren’t mad at me.’

“whatever ya want, love.”

“oh? maybe I’ll take cuddles too.”

[shingia]

hopefullyy this inspires u to write,,, can i request hc's of the boys getting jealous seeing their s/o work well with another person on a team/club? like good chemistry with a dance partner for example! (u can choose who u write but can it include iwa!!) <33

✗ HQ BOYS GETTING JEALOUS SEEING YOU WORK WELL WITH ANOTHER PERSON ✗

a/n : kdjfkdjdkdj i love this request omg ty ! i did half hc/half scenarios bc i thought the request fitted this format <3

-> iwaizumi, osamu, kuroo, suna, tsukishima

-> warnings : kuroo’s a bit suggestive (tbh i don’t know about the rest. it’s just... kinda hot? (tsukki’s only fluff tho<3))

-> reblogs are >>>>

— IWAIZUMI

• iwa’s jealousy was practically non existent until he actually saw you interact with your partner

• don’t get me wrong, he absolutely loves your smile - but he especially loves to be the one who caused it

• he tends to get physically very protective of you, so expect his arm to stay wrapped around your shoulders most of the time. because to him it’s the easiest way to show the world (but especially your partner) that you’re his

• he also not-so-subtly offers you to wear his clothes on days when you have practice. and he secretly hopes that someone will ask you who they belong to...

« it’s cold outside. you should wear this ». iwa’s low and unannounced voice makes you turn around in surprise. leaned against the bathroom’s doorframe, he’s holding your favorite jacket in his hand - the one with his name written on the back, and you suspect that this might not be a coincidence... with a chuckle, you agree to put it on, noticing the proud spark in his eyes. « you know, i’m pretty sure everyone already knows i’m dating you » you tease him with a wink, all while also admiring the way his name takes up the whole width of your back. « oh yeah ? » he asks, a smirk tugging at his lips as he leans forward to rest his hands on the sink behind you. trapped between his outstretched arms, you watch his smirk grow just a little bit bigger as he lets out, very quietly, « well this is just a reminder... it better be the last ». his green eyes locked with yours could almost make you forget about his arm snaking around your waist at a painfully slow pace. almost.

— OSAMU

• look, he’s very happy for you. no doubt about it. but he’s so used to see people fawn over his brother that he can’t help but get a little protective from time to time

• since gifts are his #1 love language, he might buy you a workout-friendly piece of jewelry that you can wear during your practice

• he also insists on dropping you off and picking you up as often as his busy schedule allows it. especially since he learned that your partner was willing to give you a ride home...

• it’s not that he doesn’t trust you, obviously. he just doesn’t trust them yet

• and that’s why his kisses - and pda in general - are a bit more « intense » than usual

leg bouncing up and down, osamu is (very) anxiously for your conversation with your teammate to end. because after watching the entirety of your practice, he needs a little reminder that you two also have incredible chemistry together... a better one, even. so as soon as he sees you wave your teammate goodbye, he stands up straight, arms open just wide enough to welcome you against his chest. but instead of the chaste kiss you expected to get, you’re actually greeted by his left hand grabbing your sides while his right meets your lower back. disconcerted, you don’t even have time to say a word that his mouth crashes onto yours so eagerly that you have to lean back a few inches. « wh-what was that for ? » you pant as soon as his warm lips have left yours. « nothing. i love ya, that’s all » he smiles innocently, glad that you didn’t notice the cocky look he just gave your teammate who witnessed everything from afar... exactly as planned.

— KUROO

• passive agressive™️

• he would insist on properly meeting your partner but oh god they better brace themselves,,,

• because kuroo’s the kind of boyfriend that will shake their hand hard enough to make them yelp, all while having an angelic smile plastered on his face

• oh and you can forget being called by your name : he’s going to demonstrate the entire variety of nicknames he has for you. he might even come up with new ones just because he’s feeling « inspired »

• every single thing he says to your partner has to be a reminder that you two are dating. like « oh yeah they told me about this yesterday.. during our date ». just to make sure that there’s no misunderstanding.

« well... speak of the devil », kuroo hears you chuckle, your voice almost drowned out by his heavy breathing. he’s obviously planing on apologizing for being late... but not now. there’s something he wants to do first. still very aware of your partner’s presence right in front of you, he decides to securely yet eagerly wrap his arms around your waist before spinning you around proudly. « so... you guys were talking about me ? » he asks, glad to know that he’s the reason behind your giggles. « we were, actually » you answer a bit more seriously as he finally puts you down, still keeping both his hands on your waist. « well, i am your boyfriend after all... » he starts, interrupting himself to place a loud peck on your jawline. the only thing you can think is about is how awful this situation must be for your partner... kuroo, on the other hand, doesn’t seem bothered at all, as shown by the way one of his hands discreetly makes its way under the fabric of your t-shirt to rest directly on your skin. « hands off, kuroo » you order him with a slap on the back of his hand. an offended gasp leaves his lips, yet he complies reluctantly, thinking that your partner probably already knows everything that needs to be known about him.

— SUNA

• he doesn’t really mind it... as long as you’re willing to cuddle once you get back from practice. if you’re not, then he’s gonna start to worry

• because cuddling is probably his favorite ‘boyfriend privilege’ and he doesn’t want it to be taken away from him

• his schedule is pretty tight so he might not be able to attend any of your practices, but he asks you to record it as much as you possibly can so that he can watch the videos with you afterwards

• and seeing how smoothly you and your partner move together definitely doesn’t help with his worrying

it’s been thirty minutes now, and suna’s still not done watching the videos you took today. he loves to share these moments with you, snuggled up against each other the bed ; but most importantly, he has someone to keep his eye on... « babe- are you 100% sure that this was part of the choreography? » he suddenly speaks up, his eyes leaving the screen for the first time. you quirk a curious eyebrow, more surprised by his unusually suspicious tone rather than by the question itself. « oh, the hand on my waist ? yes, rin. it was ». at your words, his lips press into a thin line, he’s obviously far from being convinced. but you know your boyfriend well and you’re quick to reassure him : « you know, his hand might have been on my waist but you’re the one laying in my bed right now ». the frown on his face disappears almost immediately - much faster than you would’ve thought, replaced by a much more confident expression as his hands start to gently stroke your sides up and down. « mmh, i guess you’re right.... i mean, at the end of the day, only i get to have ‘all of this’ for myself » he smirks, playfully eyeing you up and down until he can’t resist the temptation of your slightly parted lips anymore.

— TSUKISHIMA

• tsukki’s not jealous, he’s just... well.. cautious. or at least that’s what he tells you

• but, deep down, he knows that simple cautiousness wouldn’t make spend his days and nights stressing about this new partner of yours...

• so, after a few weeks, his impassible facade starts to crumble a little bit. nothing too extreme, but just enough to let your partner know that you’re taken.

• and he knows he doesn’t need to do much : one of his signature scornful looks is more than enough. especially when he’s staring at your partner dead in the eyes while you’re greeting him with a hug and a kiss after your practice

« tsukishima kei, i’m waiting for an explanation ». with a sigh, your boyfriend drops his book on the table, turning his chair around to face you. « i don’t have one, i already told you. you told me to introduce myself, and i did. end of story ». you both know that tsukki did not just ‘introduce himself’ like any other human being would have done. and that’s precisely what you’re trying to make him admit - because your partner looked genuinely scared during practice today. « wha- no, i didn’t look down on him. it’s not my fault he’s so short... » he mumbles under his breath, trying his best to avoid any eye contact with you. but you know that only a slight tilt of his chin upwards is enough to make his eyes lock with yours - and that this is enough to have him admit anything. « you’re jealous, kei. and it’s painfully obvious by the way... » you smirk - but this smirk disappears in a split second as he slowly gets up from his chair, towering over you like he usually does. « ok, maybe i am. but i just wanted to make sure that he knew his place. and especially mine » he finally admits, his lips spreading in a scornful smirk that would be terrifying if his eyes weren’t filled with the infinite tenderness he has always felt for you.

✔️taglist : @toworuu @catwithangerissues @miyumiya @livy384 @k0u-minamo2 @fullsundear @hsjvwq @mochi-marie @hiraeth-z @velvetvirgos @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner @47meow @japanesevenom @geektastic84 @noir-blanches-blog @idontlikeyourjob @seiri-ami @atiny-grl-with-luv @admiringlove @nachotrash @kellesvt @aintyourholy @Moonlaeli @catchmewiddershins @duhsies @devilgirlcrybabiey @crystal-lilac

[outerbankies]

new light part 4: underneath the moonlight — rafe cameron

new light series masterlist

summary: you and rafe meet the parents (properly) and go to midsummers together, but not everyone is as smitten with your relationship as you two are.

pairing: rafe x kook reader

warnings: drinking, swearing

a/n: say hello to a few characters (tw: ward) i have had yet to feature thus far 🤗 more of y/n being besties with kelce (and topper this time—our fave obx himbo) there’s a lil drama in this part y’all... into the thick of it. thanks for all the feedback 💖not canon rafe

my writing

yeah if you give me just one night, to meet you underneath the moonlight

You’re startled awake by a loud knock on your bedroom door. You’re squished between 6 feet and 3 inches worth of boy and the pink wall your bed is pushed up against. Rafe always insisted on laying on your outer side, closest to the door of your bedroom. Which means you often woke up pressed into the wall, your neck sometimes aching from the awkward angle. Not to mention Wilbur always taking up the space at your feet, Rafe usually nudging him into your space so he could stretch out.

Rafe stirs also, making sleepy noises and stretching his legs where they hang off the end of your bed. He grumbles and smacks his lips together a few times, your hand instinctively coming to rub along his jaw. His eyes flutter open as the sun streams in through your window, illuminating the hint of golden stubble on his chin. You’d only slept over together a few times, since you were both staying with your parents for the summer, so it’s always nice to wake up with your boy in your bed.

Oh fuck. Your boy is in your bed.

Rafe's eyes widen at the same time as yours.

“Oh shit, we fell asleep?” he whispers, head whipping around your room.

“Fuck, you have to hide right now,” you whisper, stumbling through your thoughts sleepily.

Another knock sounds from the door.

You extract yourself from your spot between Rafe and the wall, his hands guiding you by your hips as you tumble over him.

“Just, fuck, just like—get under the covers or something. God, I hope it’s not my dad,” you whisper.

“Me too,” he says, slinking into the gap between your bed and the wall as best he can, covering his face with a pillow.

You check that he’s concealed enough, turning to open the door just the slightest bit. Dylan stands in the crack.

“We have brunch at the Club in an hour, mom wanted me to ask if you invited Rafe,” he peers around you, gaze moving to behind your shoulder. “Or I could just ask him myself. Sup, Rafe?”

“Shut the fuck up, Dyl,” you whisper-shout. “Where are mom and dad? Can he sneak out the back? And don’t lie to me, or I’ll tell them about Hilton Head.”

“God, calm down. Dad’s in the garage and mom’s getting ready. Just have him go now.”

“Thanks,” you say, all but slamming the door in his face. You turn around and press your back against the door, letting out a shaky breath.

The covers rustle, and Rafe springs out of your bed to gather his things while Wilbur watches him. He always starts pouting when he notices that Rafe is putting on his hat or shoes, signs that he’s about to leave.

“We are so dead.”

“You don’t think he’ll say anything, do you? I don’t think I can sit at brunch with your dad in an hour if he knows I slept in your bed last night.”

“Not if he’s smart,” you sigh. “Want me to walk you out?”

“No, I got it. Just keep Willy in here. I’ll text you when I make it out alive. If you don’t hear from me, just assume your father murdered me,” he jokes, leaning down to give you a kiss after he slips his shoes on. “See you back here in an hour?”

“Yes, please be early. And clean shaven.”

“Yes ma’am. And don’t insult me,” he mumbles against your lips.

“Nervous?”

“Not nearly as nervous as I will be if I get caught, sweetheart. Gotta go so I have time to shower—and shave. See you in a bit.”

He gives you one last kiss before he departs, and you move to the window with Wilbur to watch him slink across the backyard, arms crossed and a fond grin on your face. He turns and blows you one last kiss before he disappears around the side of your house.

—

“Y/n, can I speak to you for a second?”

Your dad’s voice comes from his study as you pass by, checking yourself over in the entryway mirror one more time. Rafe should be here any minute.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Come sit,” he says, gesturing to one of the chairs in front of his desk. You feel the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Your dad only invited you to talk in his study if it was something serious. The last time he did was when he told you he was going to take away your Range Rover if you didn’t pull your Bs up to As your freshman year of college. You’ve had a 4.0 ever since.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yes, everything’s fine. Just wanted to talk about the new boyfriend.”

“What about him?”

“I always knew of him while the two of you were growing up. But I talked to him a bit back during Dylan’s grad week.”

As an unruly teenager and the rightful heir to his father's business, everyone in the Outer Banks knew about Rafe and his antics. Good or bad. You could even recall your mom gossiping to your dad, words passed on from Rose, about some of his more... notable incidences.

“Y-yeah, he's...” you trail off, searching for the right words to describe Rafe these days.

“Seems like a good kid,” your dad supplies.

“What did you guys talk about?”

“Business, mostly. His future and whatnot.”

“Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?”

“No, I just wonder... are you sure about this one? When you were kids, that boy was always causing trouble. And you know your mother and I were always so proud of how you stayed in line.”

“I know,” you sigh. “But Rafe’s not a boy anymore. Just give him a chance.”

“I will,” your dad says, slapping his knees to stand up. “But I'm also gonna give him a hard time.”

“Dad, please.”

“It’s my job. Your mom gets to freak out about Dylan moving out, and I get to handle scaring every man who gets to look at you.”

The doorbell rings.

“Please. I am literally begging.”

Your dad draws a fake halo around his head, and you just roll your eyes.

The morning gets off to an even more embarrassing start as soon as Rafe crosses the threshold into your house. Wilbur jumps into his arms immediately, all ninety pounds of him, and your mom’s eyes widen.

“My goodness, he’s usually so hesitant around strangers!”

Dylan chokes on a laugh, and if you weren’t across the room you’d have elbowed him in the ribs.

“Oh, I’ve walked Wilbur by Tanneyhill before.”

“Yeah, I-I love Willy. Mrs. Y/l/n, it’s so nice to see you again,” Rafe says, effortlessly following your lead after Wilbur scampers out of his hold. He shakes your mom’s hand politely. Your dad sidles up to her then, fixing Rafe with a stare harder than you’d prefer. “Mr. Y/l/n, you as well. Thanks again, to both of you, for inviting me.”

“Good to see you, Rafe,” your dad says, a strong hand clamping onto his shoulder. “Dylan, come say hi.”

Dylan’s grin is devilish, and you're just watching on in pure horror at this point. “How have you been, Rafe? Haven’t seen you in a while.”

—

Rafe’s grinning ear to ear, hand firm on your thigh, all of the windows in his truck rolled down. He even popped the sun roof, letting you blast your playlist all the way down the road.

“Okay—I just... did that go well?”

“You did great, Rafe.”

Despite Dylan's best efforts to embarrass you two, brunch had gone really well. Your dad took a second to let his guard down, unlike your mother who was immediately gushing over him. You could practically see the wheels in her head turning, the wedding colors she'd picked for you. And your dad came around quick enough once Rafe brought up Formula 1.

Your boyfriend looks so relieved, hand even coming to feel the air pass through his fingers as he hangs his arm out the window, hand on your thigh coming back up to steady the wheel. He taps on it excitedly.

“Lowkey, feel like I nailed it, baby.”

“Okay,” you giggle, leaning over to peck his check. You pull him in with a soft hand to the other side of his face. “Let’s not get too big for our britches.”

“Oh, I’m a parent-meeting expert now. Might go into consulting.”

“You’ve perfected the sport?” you joke.

“No, no. That’s—I’ve never actually met parents before,” he admits.

“No way?”

“Way? Have you?” he asks, slight edge seeping into his tone as he pulls up to the stoplight outside of your favorite coffee spot.

“Uh... once. We weren’t even really dating yet, but they came to visit and he like, ambushed me with them at dinner. They were kinda hippies, though.”

“Yeah?” His tone is clipped as he parks his truck.

“Yeah, some guy from my comparative literature class sophomore year,” you sigh. “But, you’re the first to meet my parents.”

“Mm,” he hums, fingers tapping on your knee. That satisfies him. He gathers one of your hands in his. “You coming in?”

“Will you just get me a latte? Kinda wanna call my mom and debrief.”

He laughs, kissing your knuckles. “I’ll give you a minute, sweetheart. Oat milk?”

—

Your original plans to meet the Camerons fell through, a last minute staging emergency arising when you were all supposed to go for dinner. You’d tried not to look down while Rafe attempted in earnest to cheer you up, telling you how pretty you looked while you took out your earrings and let your hair down. He'd kissed the crown of your hair and apologized profusely, promising they would love you when they finally got to meet you.

“M’not upset.”

“Okay.” His hand stroked your back through the thick cotton of one of his old water polo sweatshirts he’d let you borrow for the night.

“I’m just really nervous about meeting them. You might’ve set the bar a little too high with my parents.”

“You just have a great family.”

“I don’t know,” you said when you finally cracked a smile. “Made it pretty far on your first try.”

“Don’t worry. They’re going to love you, sweetheart.”

You let him kiss your cheek, your forehead, your nose and chin.

“Hope so.”

“Know so.”

And Rafe had somehow convinced your father to let you go to Midsummers with his family, promising to join up for pictures and greetings later. Your dad had willingly let him, to your surprise.

The event was a big deal to Figure 8 patriarchs and matriarchs alike, always trying to outdo the other in every way, all while feigning some sense of island camaraderie. But when Rafe had set aside time at brunch to specifically ask your family for their permission to accompany you to the event, they’d been hard pressed to say no. Your family immediately accepted Rafe as your boyfriend, any lingering hesitations about his character drowned out by the equal chances of your personal happiness and the heightening of their social and business profiles.

But he’d still come to your house to pick you up, ready to greet your parents in the foyer once again.

He takes one look at you in that blush pink dress, hair, makeup and jewelry all done up this time around, daisy flower crown in place, and flicks his eyes around his surroundings. Your father and Dylan were nowhere in sight, and your mother was busy fixing her earrings in the hall. He takes to your side immediately, a kiss to the side of your head followed by his lips pressing against your ear. “I’m fucking obsessed with you.”

With the high from those words, you ride in his truck to Midsummers, nerves never dissipating no matter how many reassurances he speaks across the summer air streaming in through the vehicle. “Remember, they’re gonna love you.”

He helps you down from his truck so you can focus on keeping your dress off the ground, assuring you for the fiftieth time that Rose is going to like your headpiece.

“Miss Y/l/n, how lovely to see you again you at last,” Ward sighs, sounding somewhat fond. “Rafe’s been talking my ear off about this, meeting you again even though we’ve already met. Sorry we couldn’t make it work earlier.”

“No worries, Mr. Cameron. Thank you so much for inviting me to tag along with your family at Midsummers. You as well, Mrs. Cameron. You look beautiful.”

“Thank you! And of course,” Rose says, bringing you in for a hug, one you definitely were not expecting.“You’re out in California, aren’t you?”

“Yes, home for the summer.”

“That’s a long way from here,” Ward says. His eyes flicker to Rafe. “Long way from Georgia. Shorter, but still a long way.”

“Dad, c’mon,” Rafe cuts in, and you can feel his hand gripping the back of your dress:

“He’s just stating the obvious, Rafe,” Rose intervenes.

“Yeah, it is far,” you agree. Rafe’s head whips around back to you.

“We’re figuring it out,” he says. To anyone else in the vicinity, he probably sounds confident and self assured. But you know Rafe, and you can look into his eyes and see that he’s not. That if he weren’t in front of his entire family, trying earnestly to impress his father, he’d have said: ‘we’re gonna figure it out, right?’

“I’m sure things will work out the way they’re meant to,” Ward says after a lapse in conversation. “One way or another.”

“Let’s get some photos so we can all enter and the two of you can run off,” Rose says immediately after, giving neither of you the time to say anything else.

You do your best to shake off Ward’s comment as the four of you join up with the Cameron daughters, plus Sarah’s boyfriend, John B. After posing for what felt like hours, the photographer asks you and John B to hop out so they can take some family pictures, the two of you swiping up a couple of Old Fashioneds from the bar. You have to assure Rafe twice that you’ll be okay for ten minutes on your own.

“First time meeting Ward?” Sarah’s boyfriend asks, leaned up against the bar like he owns the place.

“Er—of course not,” you say, like it’s obvious. But of course John B knew nothing about Figure 8 social circles. “Just the first time as Rafe’s girlfriend.”

“Yeah, you look nervous,” he admits, chuckling when your mouth drops open. “It’s not too obvious, I just know because—been in your shoes.”

You should be insulted that the teenager compares his and Sarah’s relationship with yours and Rafe’s, but you know he isn’t being malicious. You see nothing but kindness in his eyes. And it’s nice to have somewhat of a teammate in this situation, the two of you standing by while one of the most powerful families in Kildare poses together in their finest outfits.

Rafe looks hot in his grey suit, especially with the pocket square he’d agonized over for weeks before you gifted him one that was hand sewn from the extra material where your dress had been hemmed. Monogrammed, of course.

You’d decided to go with his initials, since it was going to him after all. But your stomach gets fluttery if you think about the expression on his face when he’d received it, telling you that you should’ve put yours on it instead. “That way everyone will know I’m yours.”

Turning back to John B, you can’t imagine how he must have felt the first time he was invited into all of this. It intimidated even you, and you’re pretty sure John B was friends with the boy who delivered your family’s groceries every week.

“Any tips?”

“You’re way better off than I was, first of all,” he laughs. “But he’s really only scary when it’s one-on-one. He cares too much about this appearance of a perfect family to make digs in front of an audience.”

You nod. “That’s actually really good advice, John B.”

“Don’t sound so surprised, kook.” He clinks his glass against yours, promptly throwing the entire drink back as you watch and laugh. “That’s another tip. Drink whenever you can.”

“I’m familiar with that one.”

It's intimidating entering the event, a little after everyone else has arrived. Rafe told you that was by design—the Camerons could never be earlier than fashionably late. You always assumed you and Rafe were raised with similar pedigrees, but you're barely through the doors of the event before you realize that's not entirely true. Up until the last millisecond, Rose is fussing with Sarah and Wheezie's gowns, the older daughter making eye contact with you and rolling her eyes at her step-mother's antics. And Ward brushes Rafe's shoulders off more times than you can count, straightening his bow tie for him repeatedly. Rafe just places his hand on your back, leaning down to whisper into your ear. “You ready?”

You smile up at him, but your nerves are firmly settled in at this point. What you reply isn’t completely true. “Of course.”

—

You take John B’s advice, of course, and choose Kelce as your designated drinking buddy for the night. He was hard to keep up with, but you threw your inhibitions to the wind after you got meeting the Camerons out of the way. Plus, Rafe had more business to attend to than he’d let on, and you were getting pretty bored. Not too long ago he would’ve been right beside the rest of you, causing trouble and borderline embarrassing all of your parents. It was weird to see him walking around, shaking hands and rubbing elbows. He’d invited you into a few conversations, you trying your hardest not to simply watch him in awe.

You’re engaged in some strange dance battle with Kelce when he stacks his drink into yours, both empties at this point. “Your turn to get a round.”

“Boo,” you sigh, throwing your head back. “What d’you want?”

“Surprise me.”

“Aye aye.”

You’re turning on a shaky high heel, and you have to give yourself a little mental pep talk to straighten up. Of course you can, though.

“What can I get you, miss?” the barkeep asks.

“Vodka press, Tito’s, and a Jack and coke. Double Jack. Actually—single. Thanks,” you murmur, trying to fish a ten out of your clutch.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got the tip for this one,” a voice says next to you. Ward Cameron is sidling up next to you, sliding a fifty across the counter. Your eyes widen at the tip, trying not to be embarrassed as the bartender sets the drinks down in front of you.

“Oh, thank you, Mr. Cameron.”

“Ah, call me Ward.” He flicks his eyes back to the bartender, who quickly pockets the tip and makes himself scarce to give the two of you some privacy. You can’t help but think of John B’s warning: ‘he’s really only scary when it’s one-on-one.’ There’s no point in even trying seek out Rafe, you knowing full well you’re expected to stay rooted to the spot until Ward dismisses you. “Having a good time?”

“Yeah,” you nod. “It’s always fun to come back out here for this.”

“So, California to Georgia,” he whistles. “That’s probably a five hour flight, at least.”

“Yeah, um,” you take a minute to make sure your flower crown is perfectly in place. “It’s actually two.”

“Excuse me?”

“Two flights. From his school to mine. Rafe checked, he said there’s nothing direct,” you clarify.

Ward let’s out an indifferent chuckle. “Of course he did.”

Your eyebrow furrows because you don’t know what to say, turning to look at where your drinks are starting to melt. Kelce would be wondering where you are by now if he wasn’t three sheets to the wind. And where the hell was Rafe?

“Y/n, as far as I can tell, you are a nice girl. I just need to make sure we’re on the same page about one thing.”

Your heartbeat that hadn’t really settled since Ward approached you is picking up again, and you really wish Rafe had been the least bit more concerned about where you were at this moment.

“Um, I-I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about.”

“I'm don’t know how serious you two are, Y/n, but I know my son. He's clearly very invested in pursuing you.”

Your resolve crumbles a little at that, your heart warming, thinking about Ward noticing something like that.

“But Rafe needs to be committed to finishing this degree so he can come home and start learning the ropes next year. And in four years, Sarah will do the same. Then Louisa after her.”

“Wow, that’s so lucky for you—that they all want to go into the family business,” you praise, not really knowing what else to say. It must be the wrong thing, because Ward just quirks an eyebrow.

“In this family, our business will always come first. Before anything and anyone else. Do you see what I’m getting at?”

You swallow, catching on to where this is going for the first time. You still go for playing dumb.

“Ward, I really don't think I understand.”

“But you do, don't you? You know Rafe. He’s a bit emotional, he’s a ‘feeler,’” Ward says sarcastically, putting it in air quotes. All of the niceties you experienced earlier when you first greeted Rafe’s family were long gone. You can only gather that it was all an act for Rafe’s benefit. But you know the only option is to sit there and take it. “He thinks with his heart, never enough with his head. Sarah, for example—when it’s time for her to cut that pogue lose, which it will be soon enough, I know she will. Whether it’s my decision or her’s. I can count on that, because she’s just like me in that respect; she knows we have to make sacrifices. But Rafe—I don’t think I can make that same assumption about him.”

“Ward, with all due respect, Rafe is really focused on the business.”

“You're correct, and I’ve worked hard to get him there. Which is why I can't have him spending his senior year of college, when he should be buckled down, traveling back and forth from California and getting distracted from his future by some girl.”

“Mr. Cameron, I would never—”

“You know that it’s true. I can tell you’re bright. You come from a great family.” It’s a compliment and an insult all at once. He likes you because of your father’s business and your mother’s social status, not because of what you do for Rafe, or what you have to show for yourself. He continues like it was nothing but the highest praise. “But right now, you are across the country from him, and I can bet he’s determined to make that work, no matter what it takes. Which I obviously can’t have,” Ward sighs. “It’s just not the right time. You can understand that, can't you?”

You nod numbly and pick up your drinks, hoping he’ll get the signal to wrap this up soon. You’re at the point where you can’t listen to this anymore, liquid courage re-flooding your veins.

“I’m not asking you to stay away from him, because you’re both adults,” Ward says, stopping you with a hand on your shoulder. “But I’m asking you to think long and hard about what’s best for the both of you. Rafe already knows what’s expected of him. He’s always known.”

You look back towards the crowd under the gazebo, able to make out John B of all people. He sees you talking to Ward, shooting you the most subtle thumbs up he can muster. He has no idea. You don’t take the chance to nod at him, turning back to the bar.

“Say the two of you let it go for the school year,” Ward bulldozes, taking a step closer to you. “And you end up back here too, great. But even then Rafe’s going to be working all the time, the longest hours he ever will in his life. For the next few years, Y/n. You’re so young—are you really going to tie yourself down to a commitment like that? What about your future?”

In a tone you hope comes across as confident, you say, “I really appreciate your concern, Ward.”

Ward's perfectly white teeth are pulling into an even more perfect grin, and the sight makes you sick.

“Great. I'm glad we had this talk.” He pats you on the back, leaving first before you get the chance to.

You just shuffle through the crowd numbly, not even reacting when someone steps on your toe, taking it all in stride as you seek the comfort of your friends once again.

You were foolish to think Ward would warm up to you immediately, or at all. You had been way too confident in yourself, especially after witnessing the wear working for his father had on Rafe. ‘He’s not an easy man to please.’ How could you be so naive, thinking you could coast by on your charm?

You’re a few feet away when you notice that Topper had joined up with Kelce again, as had your boyfriend. He’s joking with them, amused at the way Topper is clearly almost done tolerating Kelce’s drunken antics, but you stand and watch for a bit as he scans the crowd, gaze flickering toward the bar you’d just been at. You realize he’s looking for you when he finally spots you, his face relaxing as the two of you make eye contact.

“There you are.” He pulls you in close, kissing your forehead. You want to cry. “Where’d you run off to? One of those for me?”

He’s gesturing to the drinks you’re holding, reaching for the darker of the two. But Kelce is swooping in, snatching it out of your hold quickly. “Nope,” he pops the ‘p.’ “This one’s all mine. Sorry Cameron. Thanks Y/n/n.”

Rafe just rolls his eyes at the two of you, eyes lingering on your face when he notices your fallen expression. He sets your other drink down on the high top table you’re all standing next to, pulling you in by your hips. “You okay?”

If you had a choice right now, about how to proceed with telling or not telling Rafe about what had just happened, your instincts compel you to bypass the decision process altogether; you paint a careful smile on your face, shaking your head slightly. “Yeah, all good. Just zoned out for a sec.”

He isn’t convinced. “Tired?”

“Maybe a little. Kinda drunk. Are we leaving soon?” you ask, melting into him. It’s a lot easier to handle his tone of voice when you don’t have to look him directly in the eye.

“I vote yes,” Topper says, gesturing towards Kelce, who is somehow sucking down his new drink at an alarming pace while continuing to dance to the oldies tunes they play at these things. “Like, right now. Rafe, you’re hanging back right?”

You look back up at your boyfriend in confusion. “You’re not coming with us?”

He bite his lip in contemplation, looking around the party. The twinkly lights reflect off of his pupils, making him look starry-eyed as he surveys the crowd. A sea of opportunities to prove himself to his father. Rafe looks resolved when he turns back to you.

“Well... I was gonna stay, wrap up some stuff,” he explains. His eyes flicker across your face, still not pleased with your expression. “But that’s okay, I’m good to go now.”

“No, Rafe,” you say immediately. You take a deep breath, rolling back your shoulders and painting on a smile that comes easily with years of experience at parties like this. “Stay, I’ll go ahead. How long will you be?”

“An hour, tops. Will you take her?” Rafe looks hesitant, still taking your green light anyway, already slowly extracting himself from your hold, Topper rolling his eyes but nodding and beginning to corral Kelce toward the exit.

“I can’t believe you’re making me babysit two of them.”

“Don’t let her drink too much.”

“Hey,” you protest, pushing him in his chest half heartedly. The push barely does anything, only proving your impaired motor skills further. Or that you're dating a tree. “What are you, a cop?”

“I’m your boyfriend, actually.”

“Really? When did that happen?” you decide to play along, picking up your drink again.

“‘Bout a month ago, Y/l/n,” he says softly. He can see right through you, can tell you're putting on a show for all of your friends but you're still not okay. You have to break eye contact.

“Hmm, for some reason I thought you were just this guy from middle school.”

“At least this time nobody spilled on your dress,” he teases half-heartedly, and the memory only hurts you more. “Not sure I’d wanna sacrifice this one.”

“Can you—you guys are the worst. Focus. We need to go now, before Kelce gets his entire family blacklisted from the club. You coming or not, Y/n/n?” Topper begs.

You’re nodding, leaning up to give Rafe one last kiss before you leave. He holds you close to him with a firm hand on your back, voice dropping to a whisper right next to your ear. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

The lump in your throat is growing, but you push through, lowering yourself back down to your feet as soon as you can. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. Focus on the rest of your night.”

Rafe still looks unsure, his hand resting on the nape of your neck as he kisses your forehead. “Y/n—”

“We’ll talk about it later, okay?” you finally admit. Rafe nods curtly, can tell you’re not going to let him leave with you right now. But he doesn’t know why. He doesn’t know that if you pull him away from his responsibilities right after that talk you had with Ward, it’s going to spell disaster for the two of you.

“Just some business stuff, alright?” he assures you. “I’ll see you soon. Forty-five minutes.”

“Promise?” you murmur, fiddling with his pocket square. He smiles down at you, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“Promise. You look so pretty. Half an hour. Now go.”

Topper’s guiding you towards the parking lot with a polite hand on your back, but you have to watch Rafe as you leave. You watch him approach his dad, who gives him a smile and a pat on the back. Rafe preens under his gaze.

But Ward must have been watching you two from afar because his gaze is flickering back to you, and he fixes you with a hard stare. He raises his eyebrows, bringing his drink to his lips. Taking a leisurely sip, hint of a smirk on his face. You can practically hear his thoughts: ‘Rafe chose to stay here with me, with the business, and sent you off with his friends.’ It’s everything in you to not let the tears that have been building on your waterline spill over. But your friend isn’t easily fooled.

“Y’alright, Y/n?” Topper says from beside you, trusting Kelce enough to walk on his own as you all near the parking lot. He moves to follow your gaze but you stop him, quickening your pace towards his gray Jeep. “Did something happen?”

“Ward Cameron happened.”

———

tags: @moniamaybank @downbytheouterbanks @littlementalpolaroids

[hemmingslftv]

a different sleepover

Word count: 5.2k

Warning: mention of insecurities, explicit smut, mention of cheating (18+)

Requested: no but requests are open! And I’d love if you requested about this “couple” like for expample their first date, telling the band, more sexual experiences… or whatever you want!

A/N: I just watched Michael’s twitch stream and this happenned so I have no other explanation. This is the longest fic I’ve ever written, it literally took me almost a whole day to finish but it was worth it. I really like how this turned out and feedback is appreciated as always!!

Masterlist

Michael entered the living room after his twitch stream that you had obviously been watching from start to finish on the couch.

- Hey, what do you think about the stream? I’m thinking maybe it was a bit boring or maybe I talked too much I don’t know - he said, letting his lack of confidence show.

- No! Don’t say that! It was fun. I really enjoyed it, plus you looked so hot explaining the production of 2011 - you said as he sat next to you and covered your mouth with your hands right after looking the opposite way as to where he was - please tell me I didn’t just say that out loud - you begged.

- You kinda did - he laughed softly - but I definitely don’t mind, thank you - you turned to face him. His cheeks were red, a bright shade of red, and yours turned a light pink as you made eye contact. You couldn’t remember the last time you had been so nervous.

- No really, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable - you said trying to get up from your seat, but he stopped you grabbing your arms making your whole body shiver.

- Well, sometimes it’s good to get out of the comfort zone. I think it’s you who always tells me that - you sat back down with your body now faced towards him. His hands let go of your arms and caressed the sides of your waist gently as they made their way down to your thighs.

It’s not that you hadn’t been this close before. After 10 years of friendship, you had shared a bed multiple times, had cuddled each other for comfort whenever you were feeling low, and had seen each other naked a lot of times now. But somehow this felt different.

Your heart started to race as you got closer to him. You weren’t sure if it was his body or yours that was moving but you knew the distance was getting shorter by the second. You admired his face, still a bit red, his beard that you had convinced him years ago looked good on him, and sure it did, his beautiful green perfect eyes and his cute little nose. You swallowed not being able to process what was going on, you felt frozen. Michael placed one of his hands on your cheek and you melted at his touch. He grabbed your face pushing softly towards him and you closed your eyes. Nothing you had ever felt compared to the intensity of that kiss. You literally felt flooded by happiness, love, and excitement. It was a soft but somehow also passionate kiss. It came to an end when your brain finally realized what was happening and you pulled back with a quick movement.

- Oh my god I’m so sorry Michael.

- No, no. I’m the one who’s sorry, it was me - you both sat staring at each other for a couple of minutes with your heads full of thoughts but not knowing what to say next - I’m really sorry, the last thing I want is to lose you over this but I totally understand it if you don’t wanna spend the night here.

- Oh, if you don’t want me to stay I’ll go.

- No, you can stay, I want you to stay.

- Fine then, let’s pretend nothing happened and go on with the evening, I think it’s what’s best.

- But - he tried to say.

- No Michael, there’s no but. You are getting married in a few months, this was just a mistake, I probably confused you with the compliment, it is totally my fault and I can’t let this get in the way of your happiness, not after all these years keeping my feelings to myself.

- What do you mean?

- No, nothing, Michael it doesn’t matter. Your fiancé will never know about this, okay? I’m sorry. Can we just watch that movie, please?

- Yeah, let’s watch it - he said confused.

You could tell he wasn’t paying attention to the movie and he was thinking, probably about what had just happened, but you were hoping he wouldn’t bring it up after. And he didn’t so the day just continued as your normal sleepovers. You played some video games, ordered pizza, laughed a lot and talked for hours. At some point during the conversation he had fallen asleep, and you couldn’t help but watch him for a little bit before you woke him up. He looked so beautiful, happy, and peaceful, you knew you couldn’t ruin that with your feelings, not now that he was finally getting out of a really sad time. So that kiss was the only one you were gonna get but it was more than you had ever imagined and so you were satisfied.

After a few minutes, you woke him up and you both said goodnight to each other and went to sleep. Your brain was still processing everything and it was the only thing you could think about. Somehow you started to rub your clit softly over your panties thinking about the kiss, that perfect kiss. You could still feel his lips over yours, kissing you with so much love but passion at the same time. How he had bitten your lower lip just enough to get you started right before you had pulled out of the kiss. But in your head, the kiss didn’t stop there. You kept kissing him until his mouth started to kiss down your jaw, your chest, and your belly. In your head, he looked up at you with his eyes full of lust and asked you if you wanted to continue. You nodded and he started to tease your entrance with his tongue, you grabbed his hair making him groan and you pulled him closer. He moved his mouth to your clit and slowly introduced two of his finger on your vagina. He started to move them at a steady pace, not too quickly, and sooner than later you were almost reaching your orgasm. You couldn’t help but whisper (or so you thought) his name as you came down from your high. A sudden knock on your door made you open your eyes.

- Can I come in? - Michael asked from the other side of the door.

- Uhm, yeah, sure - you said pulling your sheets up to cover your legs since you had taken off your pants and underwear.

- Did you want something?

- What? - you asked confused.

- You were screaming my name, I thought you needed something or maybe you were having a nightmare.

- Oh, I was? Oh my god, no, I’m fine - you blushed and looked at Michael, who was still confused as to why you were calling him. He turned on the lights and you tried to tell him “no” but it was too late and he had already seen your clothes on the floor. He turned them off quickly.

- I’m sorry - he said covering his eyes as if that was gonna solve anything - Were you? Were you masturbating?

- This is so embarrassing Michael, I thought you were sleeping, and also I didn’t think I was speaking so loud. This day is gonna be the death of me, ugh - you said sitting up on the bed - Michael turned the lights on again and sat on the side of the bed.

- You don’t have to be embarrassed, it’s something natural. It’s just that I never imagined that you would think about me that way.

- I know, and I shouldn’t, you have a girlfriend. I’m really sorry - you could start to feel tears building up in your eyes, this felt so humiliating. Not only had you kissed him after all this time only to know that it would be the last time but he had also caught you moaning his name, you knew there was no way your relationship was gonna be the same after this - I don’t wanna lose you, I’m an idiot.

- What? No! You’re the least idiotic person I know! - Michael said making you giggle even though one tear was sliding down your cheek at the same time - Hey, don’t you dare cry. We can talk about this.

- There’s nothing to talk about, Michael. You are going to get married to a wonderful woman soon and I couldn’t be happier for you, it’s the least you deserve.

- But what about you?

- What?

- I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me and I thought we told each other everything baby - you shivered at the pet name even though he had used it on you a thousand times before, but none of those times had been on a situation where you felt so vulnerable.

- Oh, c’mon, Michael. It doesn’t matter and also I’m sure it’s nothing new for you ‘cause there’s no way you haven’t figured it out yet. Even the boys know!

- Know what? - he said genuinely confused.

- That I’m in love with you - you almost whispered that last sentence, not knowing if you wanted him to hear it or not and looked down at your legs as you continued to speak - that I’ve loved you since I met you, but I had my chance to tell you and I didn’t and now you’ve been in a relationship that makes you really happy for more than five years and I’m not going to be the best friend who is jealous and stupid and breaks an almost marriage because she wasn’t brave enough to tell you before.

- I had no idea…

- C’mon! There’s no way. But it is okay, I always knew I didn’t stand a chance. Your fiancee is a supermodel while I’m a plus size girl, she’s rich and I work two jobs, she’s sexy and confident and

- Stop! Please, stop speaking to yourself that way! You are so beautiful, so kind to everyone but yourself and you get me as nobody else does.

- It just isn’t enough, right? - you asked finally building up the courage to look at him.

- I love you too - he confessed staring at your eyes - I’ve loved you since way before I met her and I just never thought you would feel that way about me. I always thought you saw me as your best friend, as your brother and I couldn’t risk losing you because I don’t know what I’d do without you. So I never said anything and I started to date and then I met my fiancee and she’s amazing, you’re right, but she’s not you. And I think I haven’t treated her like she deserves and that’s probably why she cheated on me - your heart broke a little listening to that last sentence.

- What? You hadn’t told me! I’m so sorry Michael, you don’t deserve that.

- She asked me not to tell anyone and I thought it was fair because I really haven’t been giving her the attention she deserves. And we were trying to make it work but I don’t think it’s gonna work, because I love her but not nearly as much as I love you.

- So what are you saying?

- I’m gonna end it with her once and for all, it’s not fair for any of us to do this to each other. I know for a fact she’s still seeing other people and I don’t blame her, I really don’t, I deserve it, I’ve been the worst boyfriend to her. And if it’s what you want, I’d love to try this with you.

- What? Try what?

- I want you to be my girlfriend because it’s always been you, you’re the one.

- I don’t know what to say, Michael. Are you sure you’re not confused? Look at me, I’m not like any of your ex-girlfriends. I’m fat and I’m poor and how could I ever date someone with your talent and as incredible as you? - you started to cry not being able to deal with the vulnerability you were feeling anymore.

- Please don’t. If I had known you saw yourself that way before you know I would have told you you’re wrong, right? Because you are so wrong. Yes, you are fat, that’s true, but being fat does not mean you’re not pretty, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve imagined being between your thighs or grabbing your beautiful hips while you ride me, so you’re also the sexiest woman I know. And about that poor part, you have known me long enough to know I couldn’t care less about that. You are you, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted, to have you - sometime during his speech you had stopped crying, and at the end, you even smiled.

- Do you really think all of that, Michael?

- Of course, I do, I would never lie to you.

- Thank you, you’re the first man to appreciate me like that and you’re the only one I want to.

Michael stood up, climbed onto the bed with each of his knees at one of your sides, and leaned in leaving a little space between your mouths waiting for you to be ready to close it.

- Wait, what about your fiancee? I don’t want to do this behind her back.

- It’s okay, trust me. She’s okay with it, we were just lying to ourselves trying to save a relationship that was broken a long time ago.

- I’m sorry.

- Don’t be. Do you feel comfortable with this then?

Instead of answering his question verbally you wrapped your arms around him and hugged him for a second before moving your hands to cup his face and kiss him. It was even better than the first one and you could already feel you were getting wet, you had been waiting so long for this you couldn’t believe it was real. Just as it had happened in your head, Michael started to kiss your cheeks, down to your jaw and your neck and you moaned as he hit a particular spot close to your ear but you tried not to be loud.

- Don’t hold back, I wanna listen to you - Michael murmured while he kept kissing your neck.

You slipped your hands under his shirt tracing your fingers on his abdomen. Suddenly he groaned and you jumped a little making him laugh.

- Sorry, I just had never heard anything like that coming from you - you explained.

- It’s okay, I was really enjoying your touch.

He pulled back slightly to remove his t-shirt and you admired his naked torso in front of you wanting to take it all in. You placed a soft kiss over his belly button that made him shiver and look down at you smiling.

- I love you - he whispered and you thought you could really get used to him saying that sentence.

You leaned back and Michael held your hips helping you lie down on the bed. You kissed more eagerly than you had before and you could tell both your breaths were accelerating. Michael cupped your breasts with both of his hands over the fabric and you whimpered asking for more as he played with your hard nipples.

- Michael - you moaned.

- Yeah, baby?

- I need to say something - you held his hands as a sign for him to stop and moved your head so your hair fell off your face.

- Oh, you want to stop? It’s okay if you don’t feel like doing this now. Sex is not what I’m looking for, if you want to just sleep we can do that - he said rapidly, afraid that he may have pushed you to do something you weren’t comfortable with.

- No, I… I want you to fuck me - you said looking at his eyes with newfound confidence you didn’t know was there and you saw Michael’s eyes getting darker as he heard those words - but I just wanted you to know that I’ve never done this before.

- You’ve never done what?

- Oh, I’ve never had sex. I just gave a blowjob to Calum once, but that’s it.

- To Calum? I’m gonna kill that boy.

- What? Are you jealous or something? It’s okay we were both really drunk and it was fun - you giggled.

- Okay then, if this is too fast for you we can slow down - Michael suggested playing with a strand of your hair.

- No, I really want to, I’m ready and I need you - you said eagerly making Michael’s eyes turn dark again.

- Okay princess, but if at any time you don’t feel comfortable I want you to tell me to stop, okay? - you nodded while bitting your lower lip in anticipation - I’m gonna need verbal confirmation, I need to know that you understand.

- I understand - you said nodding and as soon as you did Michael was back to playing with your tits as he kissed your neckline.

- Can I remove your shirt? - Michael was still over the sheets while you were under and the shirt was the only piece of clothing you were wearing so you hesitated for a few seconds until you focussed on how loving Michael’s look was and you just knew he wasn’t going to judge your body at this point

- Okay.

He helped you sit up a little bit as he removed your shirt as quickly as he could.

- Oh my god you’re so beautiful - he said admiring your body and you couldn’t help but feel insecure knowing that he was looking at every detail of your naked body, so instinctively you grabbed your sheets and covered yourself up to the neck. You could tell Michael’s look had turned to sad as you made that move.

- I’m sorry - you said.

- No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you feel that way because of everything you’ve been told in the past. You really are beautiful and sexy, you have to trust me. And I know it takes time to love yourself but let me help you, let me love you and your body so you can see it’s possible.

- You really are the best, you know that right? - you asked smiling as you slowly removed the sheets from your whole body exposing yourself to him.

You put your hands on his shoulders and signaled him to lay down on the bed. He did as he was told and now it was you softly kissing his torso, licking his nipples making him moan your name, and going down his V line. You were more nervous than you would like to admit, afraid that you weren’t going to give him the pleasure he was expecting but you didn’t let that fear stop you. You grabbed his pants and boxers all at once and pulled them down helping him remove them. A quiet “wow” escaped your lips as you saw his cock already dripping a little bit of precum.

- Calum’s is smaller or what? - he joked knowing you needed to relax a little bit. You hit his leg while you laughed but you hadn’t realized how close to his member you were hitting and it made Michael moan quite loudly - I didn’t know you were into BDSM.

- I’m not! - you giggled - at least I don’t think I am - you wondered.

Michael’s jokes had helped you relax a little and you felt ready to try this now. You placed your knees in between Michael’s legs and carefully grabbed his cock and started to stroke it slowly. You watched Michael as he lifted his head back and closed his eyes. You took advantage that he wasn’t looking and decided it was time to play with your mouth. You licked at his tip making him quiver under you. You slowly took in as much as you could and kept your position until you gagged making Michael worry.

- Are you okay? - he said as you pulled his cock out of your mouth.

- Yeah, why? You didn’t like that? I thought that was supposed to happen.

- Yes, no, it is, I mean I loved it but if it’s all too much for the first time you really don’t have to do that.

- Oh, I actually really enjoy it - you said and you could tell Michael had been turned on by that.

So without any more talking you put him on your mouth again as you stroke the part of him that didn’t fit.

- Can I grab your hair? - Michael asked carefully, almost like he didn’t want to scare you.

- Yes, please - you moaned. You kept working on him while he guided you for a few minutes.

- Please stop, I’m gonna come - that sentence made your walls clench as you took him out of your mouth. You closed your legs looking for some friction.

- That’s the point, right?

- Yes, but I really wanna be inside of you and I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to if I come now.

He grabbed you by your waist and placed you under him. Without any warning you felt his fingers tracing your outer lips slowly, then your inner lips and finally you felt his thumb circling around your clit. You kept moaning softly the whole time and you had your eyes closed from how pleasant it felt.

- I need to ask you something - you nodded - words baby - he reminded you. You opened your eyes to see his, more filled with lust than ever making you even wetter than you already were.

- Okay - you managed to speak even though it was difficult with all the pleasure that was taking over you. Michael realized how hard it was and he stopped his movements making you whimper and pout. He giggled.

- It’s just a second - he explained - you’ve masturbated before, right?

- Yeah, why?

- Have you ever played with toys? Like I need to know if you’ve put anything inside you before - he said blushing.

- Oh, now you’re being shy? - you teased.

- It’s just that it’s something really personal and I don’t want you to think that I’m judging you ‘cause I would never.

- Don’t worry, I know. No, I have never put anything more than a finger inside of me, it sounds stupid but I wanted to wait until I felt ready to be intimate with someone.

- I don’t think it’s stupid, I think it’s cute - he said smiling and leaning in to kiss you - okay so how do you want me to do this? slow or fast?

- I don’t know… have you ever… you know, taken someone’s virginity? that’s not the term I like but you understand what I mean.

- I have, several times, at the beginning of our career, you know how irresponsible I was with sex back then.

- And how did you do it?

- Most of them preferred slow but it depends.

- Okay, let’s go with slow then.

- Okay - he agreed, kissing you one last time before moving his head to your entrance.

He kissed your inner thighs passionately making your whole body shake as he came closer to your pussy. You let out a long moan when his tongue licked your clit for the first time and instinctively reached for his hair to pull him closer. You pulled his hair without realizing it and he groaned loudly making your pussy vibrate. After fucking you with his tongue he moved it back to your clit while his fingers teased your entrance. When he felt you were lubricated enough, he pulled away and grabbed one of your legs pulling you closer to him. He played with your clit with his left thumb while he put his right inner finger inside of you slowly.

- More - you demanded and he nodded taking the finger out and putting two in this time. You felt more full but it still wasn’t enough - more - you said again staring at him and he introduced a third finger with a bit more difficulty.

Once it was in and he noticed you moving your hips looking for friction, he started to move them. After a few times, your back was arching off the pleasure and you could start to feel a knot forming down your stomach.

- Pull out, please? - you asked and Michael immediately obeyed.

- Everything okay? - he asked worriedly.

- Yeah, yeah, I just want to come with you inside of me. And I need it to be soon Michael - you almost moaned that last part and Michael rolled his eyes.

He grabbed his cock and stroke himself a few times just to make sure he was ready. Then he tried to pull you as close as he could placing one of your legs over his shoulder. He leaned onto the nightstand reaching for a condom.

- Mikey.

- Yes?

- I’m gonna suggest something but it’s okay if you say no. I’m on the pill and I trust you if you tell me that you don’t have an STD. I want to feel you 100% and I’d love to not use a condom if that’s okay with you.

- Oh, no, I haven’t had sex in a long time now, I don’t have any STDs but are you sure about this? I’m not like some other guys I really don’t mind using one.

- I’m sure - you said confidently.

- Perfect then - he stroked himself a couple of times more and he placed himself at your entrance - are you ready, love?

- I am so ready.

He teased at your entrance moving his cock up and down your lips collecting your juices to make sure you were as lubricated as possible. When it felt like it was time, he started to introduce just the first millimeters of his tip and then pulled back out. He kept doing this just introducing a few more mm each time. At first, it felt really nice but it got to a point where it only hurt, and it hurt a lot. You were trying to hide it but Michael realized as you started to clench around him more than usual and also dug your nails on his left arm.

- Is it hurting too much? It shouldn’t be so painful.

- It hurts but I can handle it.

- Are you sure? I can stop.

- No, no, don’t stop. Just do it fast, just like at once.

And without making you wait anymore Michael thrust into you with a fast and hard movement. You couldn’t help but scream at the pain and a few tears rolled down your cheeks. Michael stayed inside of you to help you adjust to the new feeling and leaned in to kiss your tears. He rubbed your clit softly so that you would feel at least a bit of pleasure and it helped you relax. Once you were ready you told him to move. He pulled out almost entirely and pulled back in a few times slowly and when he heard you were starting to moan quietly he picked up the pace.

- God, Michael!

- I know baby, you’re so tight, you feel so good - he mumbled trying not to focus on his orgasm that was getting closer and closer.

- You feel really good too, do you think you can do it faster?

He started to thrust into you as fast as he could and you noticed his thrust were starting to get sloppier so you figured he was close.

- It’s okay if you come first - you leaned to whisper on his ear making him shiver.

- No, I want you to come, I can last more it’s just that you’re so tight, oh god - he said finding it difficult to speak.

You started to moan louder because you had noticed your moans turned him on and pulled the hair on the back of his head. He moaned your name loudly making you clench around him.

- Don’t do all of this or I’m not gonna be able to hold it in.

You stared at him, bit your lower lip, and pulled his hair again.

- Please come for me, Michael - you begged, trying to move your hips to complement his sloppy movements - don’t fight it and come inside me Mikey - he looked at you trying to see if you meant it - please, please, I want to feel your cum, come inside me - you moaned.

And with your words, he came undone and you felt the splashes of his cum inside of you. He tried to pull away as fast as he could but you wrapped your hands around him trying to keep him inside of you. He collapsed onto your chest breathing loudly and you smiled proudly that you had done that to him.

- I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone as hot as you - you told him while you combed his hair with your fingers.

- You are hotter than me - he replied getting on his knees again and putting four of his fingers inside of you without a warning.

Your whole body arched and your walls clenched around him at the sudden fullness. He fingered you quickly for a few seconds and when he licked your clit you came all over his fingers.

- I love to see my cum dripping out of you - he moaned.

Once he had helped you ride your orgasm he laid down next to you and removed a strand of hair out of your face.

- Are you okay?

- Yes, I’m just exhausted and it aches but I’ll be fine - you said smiling at him and he smiled at you back making you feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

- I’m gonna go get a towel to clean you up.

He did and he made you open your legs and tried to clean as many juices, cum, and blood as possible so you could go to sleep without having to take a shower first.

- Thank you, I really don’t have the energy to get up right now.

- I know babe - he said knowing that you were feeling sleepy - just for your information I can last more than like 5 seconds it’s just that there was a lot of anticipation building up and you are so tight and it felt so good.

- Michael, it’s okay, I get it. It was amazing. Can you sleep with me today? - you asked almost already in your sleep.

- Sure I can, I’ll be right here when you wake up love - he said laying next to you and cuddling you from your back - I really hope you don’t regret this in the morning - he whispered when he knew you were already asleep.

Reminder that I’d love if you requested about this new “couple” like for expample their first date, telling the band, more sexual experiences… or whatever you want! I’m probably gonna write about the next morning anyway but please request about this I’m pretty excited :) (also I’m probably gonna make more mentions of the reader being plus size in other writings so if you have an specific request about that let me know too!)