#know and whether that was sexist somehow

[eddie4bat-president]

I'm not a writer but i had this thought so- bear with me, yeah?

For months Eddie hears all about how cool and badass Steve Harrington is, yeah, but you know what he also hears about? How Steve and Robin are made for each other and how cool and pretty Robin is and how stupid it is that they're not a couple for some dumb reason, like Steve not wanting to be with a band geek and still clinging to high school hierarchy. And in all of the things Dustin says about Steeeve Harrington, that last part is the only thing that fits into the Munson Doctrine, so obviously everything else Henderson is saying is what's skewed in his little shrimp world view.

Steve Harrington thinks he's better than a band geek and that's why we won't look twice at a girl that would be perfect for him (according to Dustin Henderson, so... still questionably trustworthy information). Eddie probably assumes Dustin is talking up how close Steve and Robin actually are, just how he's exaggerating how close Dustin himself is to Harrington (like that would impress Eddie and the rest of Hellfire??? He really doesn't know how to get through to the little sheep that his worship of Hawkins' most notorious square is a detriment to his character and not something Eddie would find impressive. If it was real. Which it obviously isn't. Anyway-)

Turns out? Steve Harrington? Actually a cool dude. Not cool as in popular but cool as in "holy shit did he just bite that thing's head off???? Oh and he's not even gonna brag about that, it's just nbd, yeah sure, cool cool cool be fucking cool Eddie, oh god he's talking to me why is he talking to me" and just, chill to hang out with. After the whole shit show went down. Who would have fucking thought, huh? (except for Dustin Henderson, yeah yeah yeah, shut up)

So now Eddie has to reevaluate some other assumptions he made. Maybe Dustin was right and Steve actually is cool and badass, and he and Buckley actually are as close as he had said (and they really fucking are! He has seen them give Keith eerily matching bitchy looks for trying to schedule them on opposing shifts and basically bully the guy into changing the schedule around so they can spend as much time as possible in each other's presence. It's enough to make a guy question his own friendships when sometimes a few hours of band practice are enough to make him want to never see any of those chucklefucks again. Of course, that feeling abates but seriously, how are those two never sick of each other??)

So if they're as close as advertised but not a couple (and after meeting everyone Steve cares about and they're basically all nerds so the "Harrington thinks he's too good for a band geek" thing can't actually hold true-) what is the hold-up? Why aren't they a couple? And somehow, somehow Eddie comes to the conclusion that Steve is in love with Robin. Steve is a serial romantic (emphasis on romantic) and while his love life isn't the talk of the town post-earthquakes as it would have been before, people do still talk about the fact that he hasn't taken out a girl since it happened.

Which brings us to a day in summer, maybe fall, after Eddie has seen Steve look wistfully at a young couple with a baby, that he shows up at Robin's door step.

"Eddie? Hey what's up?"

"Good, good, how are you? Uhh can I... can I come in?" There's a nervous energy around him that is immediately infectious and she leads him to the living room where he immediately starts walking back and forth in front of the couch. She watches him for a moment, hands fluttering through different motions trying to find one that might calm him down before giving up on that. Instead Robin swerves around him, clambering onto the couch and wrapping her arms around her right leg, putting her head on her knee. She follows Eddie's path with her eyes and decides to wait before quickly realizing that she can't, actually.

"As riveting as it is watching you walk a groove into my parents' rug, do you maybe want to say something? I mean I can definitely talk enough for the both if us if that's what you want it's just that I have the slight suspicion you've got something you need to get off your chest" Eddie stopped walking halfway through her monologue and starts nodding.

"Yeah. Yeah yeah yes you're right it's just- I haven't a hundred percent made up my mind about saying something", Eddie has one arm wrapped around himself and uses the other to alternately play with his hair and gesticulate at her, "because on the one hand it's a little bit driving me crazy, maybe, but on the other hand this is none of my fucking business" And Robin who was worried at first just because Eddie is nervous, then for a second because she was scared he was going to confess to a very ill-advised crush on her, is stumped. What the fuck is this about and why did it bring him to her of all people?

"Just say it you weirdo", is what decides to comes out of her mouth but it doesn't even matter because half of her sentence is layered with his "Are you aware Steve is in love with you?"

[here we're facing the issue of me not actually being a writer and pretty much running out of steam but we also haven't reached the part that sparked this whole thing yet, which is wild - let's just pretend I wrote a very funny dialogue between those two in which Eddie confronts Robin for stringing poor Steve along ]

There's a moment when they're both silent and there's a moment when they're both talking and then there are steps coming down the stairs. They make a smirk grow on Robin's face that is starting to worry Eddie when not a parental figure but Steve Harrington steps through the doorway. He's wearing sweatpants and a shirt that might be Robin's and there's a headband pushing his hair away from his face.

"Don't yell at me for coming downstairs, you took forever and the first layer... is... dry....", he stops in his tracks the moment he looks up from his bare toes and sees Eddie. Then he very quickly rips off the headband and slings it somewhere to his right into the unknown of the hallway.

"Hi Eddie. What's... up" Eddie is going to sink into the floor and never come up for air again.

In the meantime Robin stood up on the couch to sit cross-legged on the back of it for a better vantage point and is steepling her fingers in front of her face. Eddie is getting the distinct impression he's missing some crucial information here.

"Stevie, babe, platonic love of my life-", Steve nods for her to go on, "you know how we decided I get a veto on your romantic life because we realized droves of suboptimal dates actually make you miserable so we're going for quality over quanity for the first time in your small-town Casanova life?" Steve has that cute little crease between his eyebrows while he's looking back and forth between Eddie and Robin, trying to figure out what's going on but he rolls his eyes at the end of her sentence, back in familiar territory. "Yes, Robin-"

She interrupts: "And you know how I also reserved the right to give a shovel slash molotov cocktail talk to anyone we deemed worthy of being a potential future partner?" Steve's face somehow shows an emotion that can only be encapsulated by "?!" as he glances to Eddie before shifting back to Robin with just the "?" remaining.

"First I have to say I'm personally very pro, I loved this experience; Eddie here really made a fool of himself, very worried for your delicate sensibilities and how I'm breaking your sweet little heart." "...what...?"

"So: what's the verdict on a potential future partner giving me the shovel talk?"

[tramontane-fire]

I have got to stop reading liberal publications because lately the slant they all take is The South (Especially Texas) is a horrible evil cesspit of fascism, and then you've got the Comments Section which I know you should never read chiming in about how yeah there are good people in Texas much the same way there were good people in Germany in 1933, or that you should just move to, and I quote, New York, Los Angeles, or San Francisco. You know, those famously affordable cities.

So I move every few months for work, but I always come back to Texas because it's the closest thing I have to home. I love it here. I've lived in a couple different parts of the state and not only is it affordable (most places), you can find acceptance where you least expect it.

I was thinking today I would trashtalk these so called blue states and cities the way their highfalutin intellectuals and journalists see fit to trashtalk my home. Here goes:

Chicago, the Windy City, where the smell of hotdogs from street vendors outside Wrigley Field is accompanied by the dulcet tones of a guy with an Eastern European accent talking into a portable mic about how marriage is a sacrament between a man and a woman, and homosexuality is a sin. Behind him, posters tacked to telephone poles proclaim, Chicago doesn't have a gun problem, it has a black problem! in bold, racist lettering.

New York City, hub of arts, music, culture, fine food and wine, where a studio apartment in a bad part of town is a mere $2000/month, utilities not included. It's fine; just get a roommate! A man handing out leaflets on the corner bodyblocks a teenager from crossing the street, saying he will not let her cross until she smiles. Beneath the ever-present scaffolding, young people wearing shirts that say Bible Crusade hand out religious literature.

The Bay Area, where a gentle breeze blows off the water and missing the Grand Avenue exit and getting on the Bay Bridge by accident is only a $7 mistake. That's okay; if you don't want to drive, you can take AC transit in the East Bay, where bus drivers snap and yell at you if you try to ask them a question. Honey, this ain't the south. Scan the QR code and shut up. Oh, and your rent is $2000/month with utilities and you have to share a bathroom. People without $2000 to spare live in tents and broken-down RVs in a bad part of town. Let's go brandon! yells a sticker on a light pole.

True stories all. I have seen your exalted liberal cities and they are shit. You trashtalk the south from your cushy, overpriced apartment in a coastal city and yet you've clearly never been there.

This has been a rant.

[hazel2468]

Can I just say that like.

Yes, obviously (or not obviously, based on some of y'alls behavior), the idea that "Women dating men is TORTURE for the woman we should pity women who date men!" is like. Radfem juice to the extreme and yet somehow the most basic level of radfem bullshit and it's stupid and just CRUEL to men.

But speaking as someone who spent most of my life as a cis woman (about 25 years solidly there and two years wondering) and who is sometimes still woman-ish in my gender and someone who is constantly read as being a woman by the world...

It's also REALLY fucking irritating that these radfem fucks come along like "Oh, you poor sad woman FORCED to date these men, FORCED by the patriarchy to be attracted to men, if only you could be FREE to be the lesbian we know you are!" and like...

Fuck you. I love men. I love how men love. I think men are hot and sexy and cute and desirable as all fuck. I love men's bodies. I do not think that a male or masculine body is "disgusting" or "unclean" because it belongs to a man. No one is fucking holding me at gunpoint and forcing me to like men- I just fucking like men.

And it's the same way I feel about the whole "Oh, you poor woman FORCED to partake in kink!" argument like. NO! I fucking like kink! I am kinky! I WANT to be kinky! I want to have that kind of sex with people- including with men.

Radfem rhetoric rests on two things (well it rests on a lot of things but IMO these two things are like the MAIN pillars, or some of the main pillars). The MAIN main thing is the idea of the man, the masculine, as the inherent oppressor, the evil, the All Bad Things in the World Come from Men. But the other thing it leans on, ironically?

Is the idea that women cannot possibly know what they really want. That women who are attracted to men, women who are kinky, women who aren't women and who are actually men- do not actually know what they want. They have all been TRICKED, you see, these poor, vulnerable, impressionable, prey-like women, and the radfems are here to SAVE THEM from all these things that they THINK they want, but oh no, no The Devil I MEAN the Patriarchy has just convinced you that you want these things, you don't REALLY want any of that, you don't KNOW better!

Do I NEED to fucking explain how infantilizing and gross and downright fucking SEXIST it is. To insist that women do not know what they want and must be steered in the right direction? The idea that women need to be guided because we (because I am a woman sometimes, although whether radfems see me as a weak-willed, easily swayed uwu woman or a traitor rapist man depends on the day, it seems) cannot POSSIBLY know what we REALLY want...

Come on. I mean we know they're in bed with sexist Conservatives but do radfems REALLY need to go so hard on driving that point home?

[ifiwere-idbe]

Yaz’s Representation Was Kind of Amazing

There’s a common assumption among non-queer folks that I’ve seen that queer people should essentially always know what their sexuality is/if you were ever unsure, your identity is somehow a little less valid. But that’s just not true. Whether you realized you were gay when you were 9 or 90, your identity is valid.

The debate over whether Yaz was always written to be queer is something only the writers can answer. But is it an answer we really need? What we know is that Yaz was incredibly focused on tackling sexist and racist barriers in her career - a career she pursued to help others fight back against their bullies. Romance was not a priority for her (something refreshing to see), so I would guess she also wasn’t fretting too much about WHO she wanted to be romantic with. 

Now, writers can sometimes fall into a trap when they write women who aren’t focused on love: they write cold, closed off women who refuse to be emotionally vulnerable. This is my favorite thing about Yaz - she LOVED. She was vulnerable, and compassionate, and affectionate. It was just that romance was never forced on her.

A sexuality was never forced on her either.

Some folks interpreted her mom asking if Yaz and Thirteen were seeing each other as a nosey parent, or a joke from the writers. I heard that line - followed later by Yaz’s mom asking the same thing about Ryan - as a beautiful normalization of NOT assuming heterosexuality. Each time her mom asked, Yaz responded with “We’re friends,” not “I’m not [gay, straight, whatever]!” This not only left her sexuality open for exploration, it also drove home the point that this wasn’t something she was caring about.

Throughout series 11 and 12 (some of 13) Mandip captured all of this beautifully. From my deep-dives, there seems to be confusion about when Thasmin was planned/when Mandip knew. I kind of like that. And I kind of like that it didn’t seem to matter to Mandip. She just played to that genuine love. So when her admission with Dan finally came, I thought it was a lovely moment of acknowledgement. Some people don’t know, or don’t think about romance/sexuality/gender until it comes along. And that moment can be shocking, and scary, and absolutely beautiful. I thought Mandip depicted that really well.

All this to say, I’m not mad that Yaz wasn’t rocking a lesbian pride shirt from day one. I’m not frustrated that Mandip says she didn’t really know how Yaz felt until she read it on the page. I love that Yaz loved Thirteen. I love that Yaz never had to defend her sexuality to anyone, including her mom. I love that Yaz was just - Yaz... focused, affectionate, open-hearted, WOC(!!!!) Yaz.

I say all of this as a lesbian hungry for good representation. 

I’m totally open to dialogue on this perspective so long as it is kind and respectful.

[radmista]

you fuckin idiot, there are more hermaphroditic members of snails, coral reefs, bugs, and even lions from the savannah, can trans their gender.

Lions cannot "trans their gender" because lions do not have the human concept of gender nor transition.

I know exactly what you're referring to and it's the FEMALE lions that have grown manes despite being female. This is explicitly a FEMALE lion with a hormonal imbalance, likely naturally increased testosterone, that has caused the abnormal growth of a mane.

"Molecular testing aimed at examining chromosomes – the genetic material which determines sex – has revealed that Mmamoriri is genetically a female, despite her masculine features."

(Mmamoriri hunting with her pride, using her extra strength to secure kills.)

Whatever reasons there are behind these lionesses growing manes and having larger builds, whether it's a genetic cause, an exposure to androgens in utero, etc, it doesn't make them anything other than female. They are not "nonbinary" or "transmasc" lions. They are female lions who have grown manes and occasionally have bigger builds. It's similar to women who are naturally bigger or naturally have more body/facial hair (or even women who have PCOS). Having these variations does not change that they are female. If anything, the closest approximation these lionesses have to something in our culture would be butch lesbians (Mmamoriri and others like her have been seen humping other female lionesses). Not a direct 1:1, but if you want to compare these lionesses to something it would be butch or gnc women.

Once again you guys show how fucking regressive and sexist you are by claiming that a masculine female lion is somehow a "trans" lion. Seeing a stronger bigger female and saying that she has "trans vibes" bc she isnt "womanly" enough is conservative level sexism. Both of you love gender roles and gender presentation and can't function without it. You just differ in what boxes you try to shove gnc people in.

I won't touch on the stupidity of you bringing up snails, coral fucking reefs (seriously), and bugs because they aren't fucking mammals. And other people have already talked about such comparisons (clown fish, etc) at length in other posts. When I find them I will edit and link back.

Edit, found it: Sex Binary and Intersex Masterpost by @woman-for-women

[nrilliree]

Hey! I have to say that I truly enjoy all of your posts and as a fellow TB supporter I wanted to share with you one of my most recent debates with a TG and see what you think about it.

We were talking about something else when suddenly the topic changed to HOTD. Now, this is not the first time I hear this nonsense but they began by saying that they are TG because “Rhaenyra is an entitled b*tch” (as if a chosen heir wasn’t entitled to their inheritance). And I couldn’t help but think that TG comes up with a lot of BS to try to diminish Rhaenyra’s rightful claim to her inheritance and justify the usurpation of her throne.

What’s funny is that their entire speech revolved around “Rhaenyra should’ve done so much more to deserve the throne” or “She didn’t prepare to rule” (which she actually did but they were definitely not ready for that conversation).

The point is they think that Rhaenyra is unsuited to rule but, what is their option? Aegon? Pfff! They think Rhaenyra is unsuited for the throne and their option is Aegon? What a joke! Now, the real question is: what did Aegon even do to deserve the throne? Whenever I ask this to a TG, they always evade this question. They always change the subject to something that’s completely irrelevant to the topic of discussion. But they never answer the question. Why? Because they don’t have an appropriate answer for this.

I proceeded to ask this question to that person from TG and insisted on getting an answer and do you know what they answered? That whether Aegon was suited to rule or not was irrelevant and not the point. Like, they were trying to justify Aegon usurping Rhaenyra’s throne and they still think that whether or not he was suited to rule was irrelevant? I mean, that is the whole point. If you don’t think that the ruler from the opposite team is fit to rule, then at the very least, you should consider the one you support to be better for the role.

But no, according to them, Rhaenyra is not a good option to rule the Seven Kingdoms, but it doesn’t matter if Aegon is a good option or not.

Thank you, that's nice to hear :)

While going through all these discussions, I noticed the arguments that were always repeated: Rhaenyra did not deserve to be the heir; Rhaenyra has not shown herself worthy of the Throne; Rhaenyra fled to Dragonstone and abandoned Viserys; it doesn't matter that Rhaenyra is the heir because she's boring; Rhaenyra shouldn't rule because she's not a true feminist; it doesn't matter that Rhaenyra is a woman, only that she is a stupid woman; it doesn't matter that Aegon is not suitable either, because he will have good advisors (Alicent and Otto...)

It all comes down to what Otto said - it doesn't matter that Rhaenyra would even be Jaehaerys reborn, she won't take the throne. Because she is a woman. And all the repeated accusations above boil down to the fact that she is a woman and Aegon is not, even if people pretend that it is not about misogyny at all.

Rhaenyra was a cupbearer from an early age. She participated in Small Council meetings and presented sensible solutions to matters. As heir to the throne and Princess of Dragonstone, she moved to Dragonstone to learn to rule on her own. She was familiar with the affairs of the capital. She did what every heir to the throne did. But somehow, she was the only one expected to PROVE that she DESERVED the throne. Hmm... I wonder why... It certainly wasn't related to the fact that she was a woman. After all, then people who say so would be openly sexists, right...?

TG stans try to explain themselves by saying that if the Greens had not stolen the throne, Rhaenyra would have murdered them and the kingdom would have rebelled. When Rhaenyra and Daemon wanted to negotiate at the beginning, and Otto had a plan to murder her entire family. If Rhaenyra had not returned to Dragonstone with her family and stayed as Alicent insisted, she would have been murdered. And if the throne were not stolen, who would rebel? More than 2/3 of the kingdom supported Rhaenyra, 53 houses vs 25 + the bribed Triarchy.

If someone prefers a drunken rapist without a shred of knowledge or preparation to a prepared heir, and only because the heir is a woman, he is simply a sexist who tries to hide it under a "but"

Additionally, they forget that although they claim that Viserys's peaceful rule is only thanks to Otto and Alicent,... Otto was released for over 10 years. For over 10 years, the Hand was Lyonel Strong, who, with his advice and approach, proved that he was worth more to the kingdom than Otto and Alicent combined.

[piglet26]

Alright, Is the Star Wars Fandom Sexist?

As you probably know Daisy Ridley signed onto do another Star Wars film. I welcomed this..... mostly. If they don't reunited the Dyad I'm very curious as to what would be the point (more on that later.) Well, I saw this quote from a recent interview of hers, "I think my take is things get blown out of proportion and the interactions I've ever had with people have been nothing but wonderful and supportive," Ridley said. "I've only ever been embraced. And I think we're going to make a great film."

Now whether or not Ms. Ridley actually feels this way.......she's intelligent enough to say just this. Undeniably, all of the men who have talked shit about her for the past 7,8 odd years will now have softened to her for simply not holding them accountable. Hey, that's the biz kids. Don't make enemies out of your audience. No man wants to be called a sexist even if he actually is one.

Is there sexism in Star Wars? Yes and no. It has never been a straight answer. Now if you ask a lot of men in the Star Wars fandom if they are sexist..... they'll say no. Why? Princess Leia of course! Padme! Strong women who directed men, issued orders and politically led. They did and do support these women. In fact, if you had asked me if the fandom was sexist prior to The Sequel Trilogy I would've said that the SWF is one of the most progressive fandoms for women and has been since the 70s!

Where did it all go wrong?

Well, maybe this

Or, this

Maybe just good ole fashion paranoia. Personally, I think it's a combination of all three. The minute Disney bought Star Wars the fandom was primed to distrust it. Change, for better or worse, was on the horizon. Hell, even worse, corporate change. It's Rage against the Machine raging FOR the machine. Least we forget how Star Wars started...... as a "fuck you" to corporatized assembly-line movie production.

However, we are not her to discuss whether The Sequel Trilogy was good. Debatable..... with the exception of Reylo. That's just iconic. We are here to discuss how on earth Daisy Ridley ending up bearing the majority of the responsibility for its failures. Maybe even more importantly the "Feminization" of Star Wars.

A sane person could tell that. The same people screaming "Star Wars is Dead" for the last seven years are still saying the eulogy. Still going on whining and complaining about it. There is a general rule when franchise start to go off the track - you ignore it was ever made. Godfather 3? Tokyo Drift? Never happened.

If you don't like what Star Wars has become then the first person on your shit list should be it's creator. George Lucas. George could've signed over Star Wars under the guarantee that whatever outline he produced for The Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Disney HAD to stick to - he didn't. He could've signed on a producer - he didn't. He could've picked someone else except Kathleen Kennedy to replace him - he didn't. Somehow George Lucas has escaped any responsibility in what his life's work has become. Maybe the fandom got it out of their system after the Prequel Road Rage.

News that George Lucas's treatments were thrown out and the extended universe being cancelled didn't exactly calm down the public.

Maybe the next person should JJ Abrams and Kathleen Kennedy for for thinking that there was something wrong with Star Wars. Star Wars already was diverse. It already HAD strong females. Yet, there they went finding problems that didn't exist. Why? Money. Disney has a powerful female/family demographic. Star Wars a strong male demographic. Disney sought to combine the best of all worlds in one franchise and they were the company to do it. Look at what they accomplished with Marvel!

Then the announcement came that there would be a female protagonist. A female Jedi to be exact. I thought this was different and interesting. The men did not. What they saw in there head was THE FORCE IS FEMALE in flashing bright lights. This was it. Confirmation. Star Wars was about to get pussyfied. From the get-go Daisy Ridley's Rey was to be a focus, a target, for the mistrust, uneasiness and rage from the men.

Let's me be clear men are ok girls liking their stuff. As long as girls are not in a position to influence whatever it is they like, or rather "ruin it." Can you blame them? If a bunch of straight dudes came in and started writing Sex and the City I'm telling you- they'd ruin it.

The Force Awakens finally arrives and curiosity was able to lure in even the most salty man. Not to mention the possible joy of seeing Han, Luke and Leia on screen together again. TFA is a perfectly decent film. There were two glaring choices in this film. One, Han is killed. Two, Rey beats Kylo Ren at the end. All things considered we should not have been surprised what the internet had to say. Rey was a Mary Sue. Men who didn't even know what a Mary Sue was were even saying this.

The term “Mary Sue” was first coined in 1973. A young main character, usually a woman, who was portrayed as unreasonably gifted across every discipline: intellect, combat, the arts, etc. This character would often become respected (and maybe even loved) by main characters and would end the story by saving the day in heroic fashion.

You don't have to like Rey. You don't have to love her. Rey isn't even the greatest character ever developed, but come on! I wonderer if the people criticizing her even watched the movie. I heard criticism that Rey was too likable! Well, she's the protagonist. She's too pretty! That's a bad thing? She's too nice! She comes off really brash and naive actually. She's the greatest pilot ever! She flew once and not that well. Most of the criticism around Rey was disingenuous and petty as hell.

Many critics have taken the lazy route of she has no character arc or character, but that’s not a very observant take. Her yearning for family and her desperation for her parents to return, while understandable, made her vulnerable to Kylo Ren. Her loneliness made her ultimately vulnerable to anyone who would be nice to her. Now I understand there was no consequences for her faults. However, there can't be both criticism. She either doesn't have a personality, or, she has one, but doesn't suffer consequences for it.

“How could she fly the Millennium Falcon so well?” “How could she beat Kylo Ren when she’d never used a lightsaber before?” “How could she resist Kylo Ren’s interrogation?” The film answered most of these questions. Ironically, no one questioned the 8 year old Anakin Skywalker or the farm boy Luke Skywalker for being amazing or great at anything because of The Force.

She grew up defending herself in melee combat. Her quarterstaff is not a lightsaber, of course, but it was established early on that she has the instincts and the reflexes to hold her own in a fight. While I don't agree with Rey beating Kylo Ren I understand how it was accomplished. Pure, dumb luck. It was luck that Ren was physically and spiritually crippled during their confrontation. Not to mention he had the hots for you. Finn was able to hold him off mostly because Kylo was toying with him, but when he grew bored Finn ended up face first in the snow. No one questioned how Finn the janitor could wield a lightsaber.

Let's talk about Finn, or rather John Boyega. All things considered pretty lucky guy. He got a likable that he played well and got paid well. You wouldn't know it by listening to him. He complained bitterly. He attacked the fans. He attacked Disney. He attacked America. He got off Scott free with fandom. Most remember him with nothing but fondness. Maybe because he is black people feel slightly uncomfortable going after him. But, the women? No problem. Even when fans hate male characters, they talk about what they hate with nuance.

Daisy Ridley did her job and she went home. She carried on beautifully and respectfully with what she was given by the production team. That is all any actor can do. The same would apply to the girl who played Rose Tico. Yet, criticism of what was happening on screen started to bleed onto the actresses in real life.

Mark Hamill shit talked the Sequel Trilogy - fair, enough. But why did you sign on? It he because he needed a job? Hondo wasn't a great leader. I agree. But, countless people ended up losing their lives due to Poe because he refused to listen to the female authority around him. Where was the fandom with their logic bitterness scorecard? The majority of the criticism I heard (Literally several videos on Youtube) was criticism towards Hondo for not telling a newly demoted soldier all of her plans.

Anywho Rey has this new movie coming out...........okay. Not sure who wants to come back for it other than her. After TROS and the fans most co-stars seem good doing other things. OG characters are killed off. There is one person with stunning jet black hair, 6'3, plush naturally red lips, a big dick, freckles and a heroic run that she's in a dyad with that would make this whole movie worth it. Do I faith they'll do the right thing and pay Adam Driver whatever they need to to bring him back? No. Cause there is a little bit of an agenda. For some reason love in the Star Wars universe doesn't do very well, but for the woman it's none existent. The concept that a strong woman doesn't have to die alone seems odd to the very people that want equality for women. For example I saw this comment, "Rey Skywalker is her own character and her continuing story doesn’t have to revolve around Ben Solo. Daisy Ridley’s return shouldn’t be overshadowed by fan expectation over Adam Driver returning."

Yes, it does. This film needs to work. I cannot stress that enough. You know people want to see this film fail. Reylo isn't purely for sentimental reasons (I WOULD SEE MY DYAD REUNITED FOUR TIMES IN THEATRES) Reylo is the biggest marketing advantage Disney Star Wars has..... you knew that when Solo flopped. Do the smart thing, put these people on mute and give us a iconic fight fuck scene.

Rey also wear clothes appropriate with her environment and match the physical needs of what she needs to accomplish like her male peers. Logical and refreshing. I hear the men mostly complain about the lack of hot women in their fantasy.

We could also talk about the sexism Carrie Fisher faced from the not only the studio, but the fandom for the crime of getting older and gaining weight. Her in a metal bikini is already in the spank bank - she contributed enough.

Again, neither Carrie Fisher nor Daisy Ridley in a smart world could ever really own that. Anymore than the Rose Tico actress could. Worse, they could never really tell the Fanboys what they really think of them. I love me some Fanboys, I do, but they aren't a perfect group of people. They just criticism everyone's work like they are. We're suppose to ignore the giant dump they take on anything and everything that comes out. I genuinely think the people beyond The Star Wars Sequel Trilogy sought out to create a great story. To honor what came before. In many respect they did. They aren't George Lucas though.

There is legitimate criticism towards Disney for how it has handled the Star Wars franchise. Currently it can't exactly be be described as quality over quantity. The writers seem like they are writing for early 00s Disney Channel rather a complex space political fairytale. Characterization has not been wonderful. Again, it's not simple. While Disney has not steered the ship perfectly. I would argue there was an audience sitting in ill will and waiting to be disappointment.

[mechadria]

I'm watching Todd in the Shadow's evisceration of James Somerton and - I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to slightly disagree with a general sentiment.

I know a lot of Somerton's audience is apparently young, and a lot of them took it all at face value. HOWEVER. After seeing some more clips from Somerton, I'm disinclined to agree with the sentiment that it's really not viewers' fault and they couldn't have known. (And it's fine if you disagree, but I swear I'm going somewhere with this).

Some claims in these videos are too shocking for /anyone/ to just take them in, shrug and move on with their lives. Hbomberguy's video had quite a few clips, but from the way it was edited, it wasn't quite as glaring as it is to me now, with Todd's video, how little Somerton includes any quotes or evidence of any of his really wild claims.

I'm sorry, did I somehow miss a period in history where you stopped learning at school that sources are a thing? Did teachers stop being jerks about using Wikipedia as a source despite its lengthy citations and the fact that we know it's pretty accurate nowadays??? Anyone who makes so many fact-based videos (those aren't opinion pieces in the slightest) should be quoting left and right and providing sources by the truckload. If you fell for it, I'm sorry - it has to feel terrible, but you have to take a long, hard look at yourself and consider how exactly you consume information and how you deem a source reliable. That's something that's learned, and you have to make the effort - otherwise you'll be very vulnerable to propaganda, and most likely harm people along the way.

And that's without even mentioning the /content/ of the claims Somerton makes. I'm sorry, you heard a guy say pirates were leftist philanthropists who built schools and just accepted it? When that goes against pretty much anything you might have heard about pirates, even in sources that severely deviate from "the norm"?

And finally- how could you listen to a gay man call AIDS CRISIS SURVIVORS "boring" and not stop in your tracks in shock and disgust? How could you listen to that man talk about the AIDS crisis and subsequent queer efforts for marriage equality and just accept the vitriol he was vomiting??? How could you listen to his sexist rants, badly disguised as complaints against "white" or "straight" women and not start to maybe, i don't know, think for yourself and doubt whether he was a credible source??

There's a time where we have to stop, look at ourselves and wonder what information we consume, how we consume it, and how thoughtless consumption might be harmful to both us and others. No matter what excerpt of Somerton's I see, I see blatant lies, shocking bigotry and a hard-on for literal Nazis. If you need someone else to tell you that it's bad and not trustworthy, then you need to stop consuming so much media, and start learning a little more about media literacy, media consumption and fact checking.

If you fell for it and you felt bad reading this, I'm sorry, but it doesn't change the fact that the lies and bigotry were poorly hidden at best, and that simply feeling sorry for yourself is neither going to stop you from falling for another James Somerton, or stop other James Somertons from gaining an audience. Mistakes, and even ignorance, aren't some lifelong sentence with moral currency that you can never change and have to carry all of your life - but you have to put in the work yourself if you want to change that.

[merp-blerp]

So I haven't seen Disney's Wish myself (I'm waiting for it to assumedly go to Disney+, theaters are a lot of money to spend too often), so I can't speak on the film from my own point of view yet, but I have seen the reaction to it so far and I wanted to share my thoughts on why I think some of these reactions are happening, based on my own experience of watching and listening to the Disney fandom's critiques over the many years I've done so. These are just my observations based on my experiences and it's okay to disagree, just be cordial.

Opinions below the cut ↓

I feel like a part of why Wish is the way it allegedly is has to do with something that has been plaguing Disney for a while: trying to prove bad-faith criticisms wrong instead of knowing their strengths.

I'm sure they still happen, but especially in the early and mid-2010s Disney had a lot of half-baked criticisms directed at their stories and characters. Wish might be another one of many attempts to quell these critiques. For example, I remember a common piece of writing advice would be to make villains complex all the time, with villains who are evil for evil's sake being seen as less well done (this was towards media in general, but it applied to Disney too), so Disney began the surprise villain and/or the sympathetic villain trend in their films. Now people have seen that shtick so much they want traditional villains back (me too). It's now overdone and no longer shocking or subversive in their movies anymore. [And as a little add-on, I understand why people want King Magnifico's design to be more "traditionally villainous" but I'm actually happy he isn't, as it's really hard to design a villain like that without perpetuating some kind of bigoted stereotype that a lot of traditional villains have. Even Mother Gothel, one of the last, if not the last of the classic villains Disney has attempted, had a lot of antisemitism baked into not only her design but also her actions. Disney's done that a lot, which is likely accidental, but still bad. I'd much prefer him to look and act like some guy over an awful Jewish stereotype or something similar.] People also called princesses with the temperaments of, say, Aurora, Belle, or Cinderella "boring", or hell, "sexist" in their characterization, so the heroines were made more relatably quirky, as that type of humor towards/by girls and women were very popular in the 2010s. Asha is allegedly somehow both socially inept and socially competent, which arguably isn't a flaw at all, just contradictory. (My neuro-spicy brain wants to somewhat lean towards neurodivergence when I hear that, but I haven't seen the film, so what do I know?) Now people are souring to that too, understandably, as that humor's kind of dated and overdone with Disney's heroines. These traits aren't bad on girls automatically, especially if they make sense for the environment they grew up in like Anna or Rapunzel, but they've just been done to death with Disney. Ironically, now when I see people suggest alternative traits for Asha they propose a more "sophisticated", "mature", or "self-assured" type of personality, aka, what the "sexist" traditional heroines had a lot of the time.

The newer tropes Disney tried to do in place of their old ones don't have as much staying power as the old. Once they're done so much they get stale. If they're based on trends in media rather than being actually captivating in writing, they become timely. People can digest characters like Cinderella, who are interesting and aren't overly worried about upholding trends in their characterization, for centuries whether they realize it or not. But characters like what Asha is allegedly like are based on trendy, shallow politics that aren't as deep as they sound, maybe sometimes even circling right back into the bigotry it was trying to combat (like the girl-boss stuff), and become overdone and/or dated if they aren't done well or in a new way. I feel like because of the poorly made assessments that people used to make towards Disney, Disney is almost embarrassed by their past films when they really shouldn't be. This is why the recent remakes tend to over-correct the originals. In the original Beauty and the Beast, it was not a flaw that Adam was eleven when he was made to look like a beast in my opinion, it just made it more interesting, but some reviews saw it as a bad thing, so they changed the line in "Be Our Guest" that implied his age. It was seen as a flaw that the original Cinderella didn't have a clear reason to stay with her abusive family, even though that's how familial abuse works often and it's really rude to victims to ask "Why don't you just leave?" or something like that; so Disney gave Ella the explanation that she stays because it was her father's home in the 2015 remake, which only added more flaws when you remember that she does leave the house in the end anyway. What was the point in saying that? People wanted strong female characters, so Mulan in her remake is a flawless, emotionless girl-boss. It was seen as sexist when female characters wanted romantic love because "girls don't need a man, so romance is sexist", so Disney stopped telling love stories and focused more on issues of the self, which isn't bad, but now people want Disney to tell love stories again and are disappointed that Asha didn't have a romance with the mostly cut "Star-Boy" character in Wish (again, me too, I love Disney's love stories). All of these are overcorrections to things that were never flaws to begin with, just nit-picks from bad observations of their films. There are too many examples. It's like Disney is insecure.

If Disney understood that these things weren't bad in essence, Wish would be more liked by its critics; if Disney wasn't afraid to let their female characters have actual flaws, not see romantic love as something dated, not continue to listen to these types of shitty judgments, or just take more risks again because that's what shaped the company—taking risks against the odds, Wish would be better (I assume all of the former based on what I've heard, again I haven't seen Wish myself). The pseudo-feminism and CinemaSins type of critiquing from the 2010s has mostly died out. The culture's changed. The tropes people once condemned are now being begged to be brought back. What goes around comes back around. It showcases what was truly timeless and what was just a trend in media.

In my opinion, old bad-faith "fan" responses are partially to blame for these themes in recent films, but of course, Disney is ultimately at fault because they make their own choices. There could also be plenty of other reasons why Wish feels half-done to some, like the alleged poor treatment of employees behind the scenes.

By the way, if you were a Disney fan who had these types of opinions in the past, you shouldn't be hard on yourself about it, especially if you were just a kid listening to and trying to appeal to the adults that were around you or influenced you. The latter is the boat I was in once, and now I've grown up past that. Needlessly cynical film takes and pseudo-feminism were all the rage for a while and many have had that phase of being really into those mindsets. You're not bad if you've been in it at any time in the past as long as you are learning and growing.

I'm choosing to be optimistic about Disney. Somehow I still am. They have been in a creative rut for what seems like a while now. Disney-creative doesn't seem to be allowed to tell the stories they want to tell, instead being made to cater to the wrong people. The people who like to insult Disney more than they like watching their films. They should make movies for the fans of all ages who love them. But I believe Disney can bounce back from this. Disney has been through rough patches before, but these rough patches in the past have led to eras like the Disney Renaissance. I'm hoping the backlash from Wish will lead to Disney making changes once more. They've done that repeatedly in their complex 100 years of establishment. Gone are the times when the Disney remakes were panned by fans but still made tons of money that justified their continued production. And long gone are the days when fans were actually excited about the prospects of Disney recreating their movies (because yes people felt that way once upon a time). Now the remakes aren't making as much as Disney wants and sometimes even flopping. Gone are the days when their animated films were their critical lifeline, Wish proves that they are not immune to being received poorly. It's time for something new. Or old done new. Just something different. It would be one thing if this were just another bad movie, but this was their 100th-year celebration, you think they'd be more careful to not muck it up. But apparently, all it did was reflect all the flaws that have been in Disney's storytelling as of late. That's why the backlash is so great. It feels like the last straw. Once time goes on past the 100th-anniversary era, I think the hate for Wish will die down, but that wouldn't make it less potentially flawed. When I first caught wind of this film, way before we had a trailer even, I was very excited that it seemed like a return to form for Disney, but apparently, it might not be, and that's got a lot of people disappointed, especially since this movie was meant to be a celebration. I've loved Disney for as long as I can remember and I know a lot of people are the same way. People wouldn't be so disappointed in the state of the company if they didn't care deeply about Disney and believed that they could do better. I still think Disney could be great. I still believe in them. They just need to believe in themselves again.

If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! ♥

[sunlightandsuffering]

Mikasa omits telling their mothers the part where she always gives in to the asshole who texts at 2 in the morning because the dick is just that good🤭

“So Mikasa,” Her mom begins tentatively, curious now that Eren isn’t here to witness the conversation, having been dragged off by his dad to help unload something from the car.

Mikasa glances up over the rim of her tea cup, “Yes Mom?”

Carla is practically bouncing in her seat, vibrating with excitement before she answers the question for her mom, “Tell us the truth, any boyfriends? You said the boy you were seeing wasn’t being that nice, but that still means you’re seeing someone!”

Mikasa winces, shit she gave too much away trying to shade Eren, damn it!

“It’s nothing, he’s just some asshole in one of my courses.”

“Oh Mikasa, you say that now darling but you know I met Grisha in college, and that’s when your mom and I became friends, university is an important time.”

“He could be the love of your life,” Her mother tells her dramatically, “I bet he’s handsome too, what does he look like?”

“Umm,” Mikasa trails off nervously, because what is she supposed to say, how is she supposed to tell them it’s literally Eren and he’s handsome because he inherited his mother’s genes and somehow made them more attractive on a boy.

“He’s no one, we’re not, we don’t—“ Mikasa struggles for words, and Eren as usual chooses the greatest possible time to interrupt, appearing in the archway of the dining room, “Sorry Ma, Mrs. Ackerman, unloading Dad’s new gear took longer than I thought.”

Mikasa’s mom’s eyes practically light up at the sight of her arch nemesis, a bright smile overtaking her face, the sun rises and sets with Eren Yeager to her.

“Nonsense, you’re not a problem at all.”

“Of course darling don’t worry, we waited to pour your tea so it wouldn’t get cold,” Carla tells him with a smile, gesturing for him to take the seat next to Mikasa again.

“Actually, Eren, maybe you could help us out, do you know Mikasa’s mystery man? The one she was discussing earlier, she won’t tell us any more!”

At this, Eren turns to her, that irritatingly handsome smile on his face, dripping with smugness, all teeth as he looks her over.

“Oh really, so Mika is afraid to tell you about her man?”

“Her man!” Her mother gasps in indignation, “They’re dating?”

“No!” Mikasa denies but Eren’s voice cuts over hers, “Well they might as well be, she’s over at his place so often,” he glances at her, jades eyes filled with mirth.

Now her mother looks as if she’s going to have a heart attack, her delicate values overtaken by Eren’s admission, “And she’s always wearing these pretty little outfits for him,” He fingers at the hem of her dress, a flowy white sundress that swishes around her thighs, “I’d say it’s love, never seen her get so dressed up for another boy before.”

Mikas fumes as their mother’s rejoice, because Eren isn’t wrong, has hit the nail on the head, noticed all the extra time and effort she puts in to look nice for him.

And it pisses her off because she’d gone to special effort to make sure it was decidedly NOT noticeable but also noticeable enough that he noticed, god fucking damn it she hates men, fucking Eren Yeager.

Mikasa smacks his arm, “I am not! Did you hear what I said earlier mom, he’s a raging sexist asshole, and he’s constantly texting me for booty calls at 2 am, what kind of boy would do that? One who doesn’t respect women that’s who! I can never be with him, it would undermine everything I stand for, women’s rights, what was it all for? What did the suffragettes protest for, were their sacrifices in vein, what was—“

Eren slaps a hand over her mouth, his other tapping at the edge of his now full tea cup, evil smile on his face as he turns to face their moms, checkmating her, “I think the better question Miki, is whether or not you answer those 2 am texts, hmmm? I’ve seen her an awful lot around the frat house at late hours Mrs. A, why just last night she was there at—“

Mikasa lunges at him, tea be damned and the afternoon ends in spilled tea, a lot of yelling and Mikasa threatening bodily harm.

All in all, not the worst ending for their visit, at least they hadn’t cracked her mom’s new tea pot this time.

And the end of the day ends like it always does, with that same sexist frat bro texting her at 2 am on the dot.

At the very least Eren lets her ride him in his car, telling her with a wicked smile as he looks up at her, a hand placed firmly on her hip, the other cupping the full curve of her ass, “I’ll let you ride me tonight Mika, you’ve earned that, women’s rights and all.”

She’ll fucking kill him.

[epickiya722]

Of all "hot takes" some people have about BakuDeku, whether from an anti or a BkDk shipper, the one I hate the most is the "bully actually likes girl who he pulls her pigtails".

It's stupid and to me it doesn't fit for them.

Bakugou and Midoriya don't seem like the type to always have been in love with each other since kids. They seem like the type who would fall in love much later in life. Why? Well, they have goals to become heroes and by canon, neither has expressed being interested in romance at this time or in their past. I just see them falling in love at the youngest being eighteen to early twenties when they have their shit together.

But during their middle school years?

I doubt either would have been like "Oh I've always been in love with you since middle school".

Bakugou already expressed why he bullied Midoriya. Simply put, he misunderstood how Midoriya saw him and has his own insecurities. He had people enable his behavior also. Sometimes, I wonder if the other characters are invisible to the audience because the way people like to just bring up Bakugou and not others whom mistreated Midoriya makes me think so. There were whole adults who bullied Midoriya.

From Midoriya’s side, it wasn't like he wanted Bakugou to bully him. He was aware he was being bullied and it was wrong. He couldn't say anything because who would believe the quirkless kid? And I'm sure he didn't say anything to his mom because he didn't want her to worry. Midoriya is the type who hides things out of the sake of not wanting to bother others. (Trust me, I know the feeling all too well.)

I feel like antis pull the "pigtail pulling bully" card just make BakuDeku seem even worse as a ship than what it is. Yeah, their relationship isn’t the best, but jeez. When you pull that card, even if don't like romantic BakuDeku, you are implying it is romantic somehow in some way. You're admitting that Bakugou has feelings for Midoriya and vice versa. In a way, you're shipping it without shipping it.

And with shippers, it may be because they like the idea of Bakugou and Midoriya being in love since forever, the "childhood romance" trope. The "those feelings have always been there, I was just stupid at the time" trope. It's cute, a guilty pleasure. But BkDks, you're not making the ship look any better if you're using that card. You're playing right into the antis' hands.

Now, if that's how you feel about BakuDeku, the "bully pulls girl's pigtails because he likes her" take, alright. I don't care.

But to me? I just don't see it. I don't.

That "bully likes girl" thing from my knowledge was something our parents told us to make us "feel better" about being bullied and that it stems from sexist views that men are dominant and women are submissive. That a girl should just accept that kind of attention because at least she is getting some attention, unwanted or not. That boys will be boys, they can get away with it. When the victim and bully are the same gender, that's when "honey, it's wrong" and "they're probably going through something or have issues they are unaware of yet".

That's the time people want to show concern.

So to apply it to a ship with two characters of the same sex and where it was clear as to why one of them was a bully and the reasons are nonromantic, it just... it's just strange to me. It doesn't make sense.

If we all know that bullies in real life most of the time bully someone because they have their own issues to work or their home life sucks in some way, why apply it to BakuDeku when we have the reasons why Bakugou is a bully?

What, Bakugou can't have his reasons be nonromantic? He can't have issues and faults and admit to them because he knows he was wrong?

And for Midoriya, why put him in more of the "submissive" role like that? Make him see naive than what he really is in canon?

I don't care to hear answers, these questions are rhetorical.

Just expressing a take that I hate and annoy me.

[firendgold]

Ok so bc anything i do in this fandon is specifically to piss that woman off, i gotta ask:

Do you have any ideas for fic scenarios for trans!albus and/or trans!Harry? (time travel harrydore or not, you pick)

so funny story anon, my instinctual answer for this question was "no, I've never thought about it, sorry"—but as I was writing that reply a while back, I actually started getting ideas. It was wild. (That's also why this took so long to get out, sorry!)

trans!Albus is easier for me to imagine for some reason. I had this idea where his entire early life could be rewritten just to do a deep dive into the Dumbledore family dynamics when the firstborn prodigy half-blood son is AFAB instead. How that might change Percival's actions on Ariana's behalf (or not), if he doesn't have any thoughts in the back of his mind about leaving his family in his "eldest son's" hands. How that could change the rivalry between Albus and Aberforth, who might not be super tolerant of an uppity older sister who's also queer. We still don't know much about Kendra somehow, after 1 billion years of Pottermore, but whether or not she's accepting of Albus' gender identity and sexuality could be their own spin-off fanfics, they're that fascinating. Her own Native history could then be touched on as well.

All these things together could be a point of personal conflict for Albus, who's already a living embodiment of a taboo Native/European union and might have to wrestle with what's accepted from him as a Good and Proper Woman of English society re: marriage and carrying on some (other) pureblood's line, along with protecting Ariana's secret and "making up" for his father's crimes.

I don't know if Albus' sexuality changes. If it doesn't, I can see him being briefly confused about What Elphias Is To Him when he gets older, and Elphias is getting his own messages from home about How Much Time He's Spending With That Dumbledore Girl. I imagine there would be a lot of conversations between Albus and Kendra, and Albus and other peers, about who he was going to marry and what his "prospects" were since his father's a known criminal. And Albus, beyond not identifying as a girl at all, would find all this discussion about such trivial sexist matters frustrating as hell.

Unfortunately, I see everyone at Hogwarts misgendering Albus while he's a student, or pretty much everyone. Like, he eventually tells Elphias who accepts right away (and is confused about What That Means for Him in private), and maybe a few other students, but none of his professors are Getting It. His stellar academic record probably keeps him from being bullied as much, but doesn't entirely protect him from rampant transmisogyny and slurs when he outperforms people.

But regardless, assuming the "major beats" of history play out the same way, I can see Albus being a lot more proactive re: marginalized rights than he already was in canon, and perhaps moving the overall British Society Needle way further to the left, because it's one thing to talk shit about the powerful, progressive, weird old man that no one really knows is gay but can kick your arse without breathing hard, but another thing entirely to talk shit about your trans, out and proud, progressive Supreme Mugwump who has already freed all the elves, speaks all the magical creature/Being languages, is raising your kids at school better than you are at home, AND is still gay and can still kick your arse without breathing hard.

This is all, of course, imagining that Albus is AFAB and identifies as male. If it's the other way around and Albus is AMAB and identifies as female... I can't even imagine. I'm not cool enough ig

As for Harry, it's weird but I don't have any trans headcanons for him during his Hogwarts years. It's kind of similar to how I don't read many genderbent!Harry fics unless I adore the author, because even though I'm a girl I can't imagine Harry IDing as one for some reason. (I'm very limited, I know.) BUT. For some reason this changes when you bring in time travel harrydore.

With the ship as the parameter, I can imagine an AFAB Harry who's spent his whole life chafing at the clothes Aunt Petunia gets him—because 'unfortunately' (for her), even pre-puberty, she can't just give Harry Dudley's cast-offs unless she wants The Neighbors to start lifting eyebrows and asking questions—because they're girl clothes and along with just not fitting in to the Pristine Pretentious Family with her messy hair and tight clothes and taped-up glasses, Harry has never felt like a girl. He insisted on having people call him 'Harry' as soon as he could talk and get away with it, and only has to hear his deadname from his teachers and with the Dursleys.

This all of course changes once McGonagall is reading names on the Sorting List in 1991 and just barely doesn't stumble over Harry's preferred name being on the list instead. (She is surprised only because Harry is famous. By the time Harry goes to school, there have been many other out trans students in this headcanon. But probably very few under her eye have been quite this famous.)

I've always personally headcanoned Harry as bisexual, but I don't know if that would be the case in this particular headcanon. I can still see him going after Cho, and perhaps even Ginny. I can see him having the same confusion about What Are Ron and I To Each Other that a trans!Albus had about Elphias a century ago, without ever living his Hogwarts life as a girl to anyone but his enemies (and having a lot of friction with canon!Hermione and/or Lavender as a result). I can see Draco hating Harry even more, because he always kept "her" in the back of his mind as a Dark Lady he could serve under in all ways, only to have this... boy being his rival and Quidditch better and wanting absolutely nothing to do with the Malfoys or purebloods or knowing her place.

A thought that sticks in the back of my mind is that JKR (otherwise known by me as That Woman (derogatory)) specifically wrote Harry as a boy for a lot of reasons, and the main one being that she always planned for him to live and pass on his line in the "traditional" way, and having her titular character be a girlboss would've derailed that status quo. In a universe where Harry is AFAB, I can imagine a lot of related conversations with and around Harry about this. How "she" is "the last Potter" that there will ever be, because naturally she'll marry into one of the families and the name will be lost forever. I can see this being a real bone of contention with Harry and radicalizing him, along with Voldemort and the discrimination against werewolves and house-elves and centaurs and veela (which I doubt even one dedicated Dumbledore would be able to get rid of), making him take his place as the next generation leftist magical powerhouse.

And so how does all that change his relationship with Dumbledore? I... don't really see it changing much. If both characters are trans, that's another point of connection for them that bonds them through all the mess the government and society puts them through. It makes Albus a figure for Harry to admire as a young boy ("look, the most powerful wizard in the world is just like me!") and to still anguish about as a young man ("all the choices he made that I don't agree with, all the secrets he kept from me, how do I know I won't make the same mistakes or make no better progress than he did?"). Their relationship could be all the more painful or distant if one of them is out and one is in the closet, like an Albus who never came out or transitioned and is seeing in Harry the upright boy he could have been, or if Harry is resentful of Albus living his truth because he, a knobbly-kneed adolescent girl, doesn't have the power, freedom, or influence to be who he truly wants to be.

But focus! I'm focusing! Time travel Harrydore. The specific scenario I was imagining was one where AFAB Harry never comes out to the general public. His loved ones who are his peers know, but all the adults in his life (yes, including Remus and Sirius) never get to meet him properly. They die thinking of him as "James' daughter". And after defeating Voldemort, Harry just can't take the idea of spending any more time not being the person he wants to be. He's done being the Girl-Who-Lived so he writes goodbye letters to Ron and Hermione and does some ancient ritual without anyone knowing, and instead of changing him at the molecular level it flings him back to the past.

And so unlike a lot of time travel fics (including mine lol) where Harry is grieving his true time and desperate to get back home, this Harry misses his friends terribly, but it doesn't take long for him to see being an unknown in a different time as a golden opportunity. Sure, it would have been better if he'd been flung into the future instead and maybe had more tolerant people instead of less, but no one knows who he's "supposed" to be here. So he can grow into the man he truly is!

And so while Harry is setting up his new life for himself (maybe as some personal tutor, or a backup Quidditch player, or something that keeps him out of the limelight for once?), he runs into trans!Albus who doesn't have many friends and not much else going on for him (depending on who or where Grindelwald is right then), and Harry's nervous but they hit it off and become close friends, and one thing leads to another, and...

*cackles*

Also also, and sorry for sticking this all the way at the end lol, but MUCH RESPECT for hanging around in HPF just to stick in the craw of That Woman. I think I'm adopting your philosophy for the future. ^^

[arhddhg]

stan + kyle + kenny for the character ask game!! :)

Oooooh, this is going to be a long one.. I always thought that my view of the South Park characters were pretty boring so here are my first impressions:

Kyle broflovski

Sexuality Headcanon: I personally think he’s straight, I feel like I’ll get a lot of shame because of this but I never really saw him as a bisexual man let alone a gay man😭 I’m so sorry. But on one hand I do kind of see him being a Demisexual? I don’t know if there is really that much evidence to it but I feel like him being Demisexual. I can also see Asexual Kyle too? I think he’s straight but definitely not allo.

Gender Headcanon: I think he’s a cis man, but trans boy Kyle sounds like a good headcanon? It mostly rooted from Cartman’s sexist jokes but it sounds pretty cool, I’m down for more trans rep! Even if it’s from canonically cis characters..

A ship I have with said character: Kybecca is so fuckwg cute !!!!!!! The way Kyle guides her into relationships was adorable. I also like the dynamic of a shy awkward inexperienced-in-relationships girl and a nice (a genuinely nice) guy who helps her out when it comes to relationships!!! Fucking blorbos.. I want to hold them around like 2 little kittens :( I also really see the potential in Kychole and I wish it got more recognition, it would’ve been an actually great chance for him to get a girlfriend, fuck you Cartman, like honestly.

A BROTP I have with said character: It’s probably going to be Style, of course. Their friendship is honestly very cute to watch, but it can also get a bit sad at times (ex: assburgers). I also like Tokyle, Kyutters, and Kybe as a brotp. Tolkien and Kyle being mom best friends, looking over at their insane children fighting like little chihuahuas, while talking about mom things.. hwoedhsj. And also Kyle and Bebe being best friends gossiping to each other and spilling the tea (this wasn’t my idea though). I’m a bit stuck towards Kyutters though, cause I only thought of it just now.

A NOTP I have with said character: I used to like this ship A LOT, but now I have to say it’s Kyman. I can still see the potential in One sided Kyman and I always saw it being a thing somehow, but that’s as far as I’ll go for this ship nowadays. Kyman just feels weird, and all it took was a couple of callout posts for me to eventually lose interest in it.

A random headcanon: Kyle is the most simplest guy EVER. His music taste isn’t a specific genre and it all goes down to “well I like music as long as it sounds good”. He doesn’t like a specific type of food and is just like “I like any food as long as it’s good”. He’s the least fashionable and most distasteful guy in town, and his friends (the main 4 ofc) attempted to try and get him into fashion and introduce him to different kinds of genres (whether it be music, movies, or whatever) to see which one he’d consider to be his favorite. But it NEVER worked out, he’s just that boring. (Yeah, I’m projecting onto him, what about it)?

General Opinion over said character: He’s honestly such a well developed character, he’s not exactly my fave but I can definitely understand his popularity and place in this fandom! He’s just a lil guy :)

Stanley marsh

Sexuality headcanon: I think he’s either straight or bisexual, but all I know is that he definitely went through a bicurious phase. Remember how confused he was when Wendy turned out to be trans? He was also confused about Tweek and Craig’s whole relationship! He doesn’t know where he stands on the LGBT spec but he’s still trying to figure it out.

Gender headcanon: I only thought of this just now but demiboy Stan. I also like to think he’s experimenting with his gender, and it goes down to the examples I listed trying to describe his sexuality from my perspective. He’s open to people using any pronouns on him, and I love that for him :)

A ship I have with said character: Stendy, I remember drawing Stendy A LOT over here. I still love their relationship but not as much as I used to. Although, I have to say that I still yearn for their good ol’ girlboss and malewife dynamic.. I would also consider Stolkien because their current relationship reminds me of a forbidden romance, it’s honestly interesting to look at it that way. I like to think he tries to get together with Tolkien in an attempt to open more doors for relationships, relating to his whole bicurious and gender questioning thing.

A BROTP I have with said character: Just like the brotp I have for Kyle, it’s Style. I also really like Stary as a friendship. I honestly hope that Gary might make a comeback and Stan would spend more time with him, while the rest of the main 4 gets absolutely mad they are hanging out with such a “wuss” and not with them instead >:( but unfortunately Gary is just a one and off character.

A NOTP I have with said character: I honestly don’t know what notp I have for him, I don’t seem to have any Stan ship that I actually loathe. I’m pretty sure I stated before that I LOVE ships featuring stan despite him not being my fave. Which is a bit weird to think about, but I’ll just leave it as a mere coincidence for now.

A random headcanon: Despite the fact that Stan’s goth phase was supposed to happen because of the fact Wendy broke up with him, he actually developed an interest in the goth style and still (secretly) hangs out with the goth kids. The goth kids don’t seem to mind being around him and they’re nice enough to actually guide him through the goth style! Stan REALLY enjoyed getting into it and the goth kids developed a soft spot for him, they’re a bunch of softies on the inside :( Stan would also wear a bunch of edgy black t shirts under his jacket because he just got soooooo into it. And his friends still don’t know about it, his interest in goth culture is still a secret, mostly out of fear of being ripped on.

General Opinion over said character: I honestly like him because he slightly reminds me of myself? We aren’t ENTIRELY similar but I can see myself in him. I also find a lot of his ships tasteful.

Kenny McCormick

Sexuality headcanon: I used to think he was a straight aromantic but now I can see him being pansexual, like I’m pretty sure he would love ANYTHING with titties. Him being a closeted pansexual aro is honestly very swaggy in my book. I say closeted because he literally lives in a family of rednecks, I think he’ll have to deal with a lot of internalized homophobia here. And I think it’s interesting to explore that in him! (The internalized homophobia idea was again not mine).

Gender headcanon: he’s a cis GNC man, he’s perfectly fine with identifying as a man but he loves dressing up as a princess, and he still does it from time to time!

A ship I have with said character: I don’t think I have any ship with him aside from Kenman. Their dynamic works very well and the way they laugh at each other’s jokes is so fuckeng adorable. I think their friendship should be explored more often, both in the actual show and in the fandom. There is a lot to unpack there. And also the way they carry a BFF necklace, adorable.

A BROTP I have with said character: Kenman again (I like it both romantically and platonically). I’m not used to ships with Kenny in them so I’m sorry if this is EXTREMELY bland.

A NOTP I have with said character: I’m sorry to say this but I never really found Bunny interesting.. that’s all I have to say, I’m sorry if that disappoints any of you.

Random headcanon: speaking of Kenny loving to dress as a princess, he sometimes roleplays as princesses with his little sister Karen, they come up with the most dramatic storylines ever and Kevin gets so annoyed by it sometimes and tells them to shut up. This one time Kenny and Karen stayed up all night playing dress up and they talked so loudly, that everyone woke up by the stupid annoying sounds they made. They never stopped doing it, and it was hell on earth for everyone else aside from these 2 mfs >:) I think there was also a point where all the other people around them heard it, but it was rather faint, so it took a while for everyone else to notice the loudness of it all.

General Opinion over said character: I never really thought about him, so my impression of him is a bit boring. But I’m hoping to dig more into his character if that’s what you guys want!

__________

Thank you so much for the question, it honestly got me to think more about the character’s personalities! :)

[not-a-space-alien]

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

I'm not sure what prompted this but sexual orientation, like sex and gender identity, operates on fuzzy categories such that there is no way to rigidly define parts of it in a way that includes all of X and excludes all of Y 100% of the time. You can't walk up a gay man and demand he explains what exact criteria determines whether or not he's attracted to someone in a way that excludes everyone he's not attracted to because that's not how attraction works. I'm attracted to men with long hair but it's not like if I find out a man with long hair is actually a woman that somehow invalidates that attraction or means I'm not actually attracted to men with long hair. It's also not like a gay man is attracted to every single man and not attracted at all to every single woman, because again that's not how it works. People can find certain features that appear predominantly in one sex or another attractive such as body hair or big muscles or broad stature and because they're mostly attracted to men because of that and then identify as gay doesn't mean they're making an equivocal statement about sex and gender for everyone else. Please don't treat orientation like a science where there are objective, clearly defined categories that human beings can be objectively sorted into. Labels are only meaningful in social contexts and are broad strokes to define a huge variety of experiences. The idea that because something is "cultural" means it can't be driving attraction, as though attraction is a static, innate biological trait, is a fallacy and not true. I find effeminate men and masculine women attractive and that's probably been informed by the cultural context I grew up in where these things were rare. That doesn't make my attraction fake or less meaningful. If I identified as an identity only attracted to men but I was still only attracted to feminine men that wouldn't mean I'm saying men I'm not attracted to aren't men, that's just me having a type. Like there are factors other than gender, sex, and orientation that determine attraction and it's borderline homophobic to suggest having an orientation that isn't bi/pan is somehow fake or less meaningful. I think maybe you need to reevaluate how you view orientation because you have proposed a weird false dichotomy between identities as cultural performance vs identities as some immutable, inborn trait as though basically everything humans do isn't some nebulous mix of cultural performance and genetic predisposition. Identity and cultural performance are integral to the human experience even in tons of areas outside the concept of gender and orientation and not somehow meaningless.

The entire premise of this question is flawed. I try to say this gently because it's possible you're just some baby gay who doesn't know anything about anything and is genuinely curious and this isn't bad to ask at all but if this was asked in bad faith please know I'm extremely aware of how bad actors can use this train of thought to purposefully force people into a debate where they back into terf or homophobic talking points as a "gotcha"

[xian1na]

buncha words 'bout some spring animes #3

Still here, still watching, still writing. Can't believe it's May already. I remember having this weird feeling last time I was watching seasonal anime - that I can't wait for the next episode to come out but once it does, I realise how time flies. It's almost scary! Many of the series that have only just come out are already at the halfway point. ...But let's not think about the inevitablility of time passing and instad talk about them animes. Enjoy!

Hell's Paradise (ep. 5) - After episode 4 I was a bit wary of where Sagiri's plot was going but episode 5 assuaged my worries somewhat. I used to get very annoyed whenever an action show would introduce A Sexist character. Why aren't the female characters just allowed to be badass without anyone putting them down, I was thinking to myself. Why can't I just have a nice escapist fantasy? But somehow I don't mind it here. I'm not sure why - whether it's because I changed or because (so far) Jigokuraku handled this subject better, or at least differently than other series I've watched. We'll see what comes next. As for the rest of the episode, I feel like the series is still at the phase of setting things up and I really hope the plot moves forward next time. Nurugai is Very Good.

Oshi No Ko (ep. 4) - I won't be a stinker this time, I quite liked this episode. We got to see Aqua acting and I got this great idea for battle-shounen like manga about acting, where the main character has to analyse their surroundings and gather data about their fellow actors to know how to rile them in front of the camera, so that they act well. (I'm going to pitch this to President of Anime whenever I get the chance.) I'm curious how will that reality TV show that Aqua got hired to act in go. As for the school plot... I don't watch many idol shows but I recall 'school of idols' is a recurring theme. Will Oshi No Ko subvert it somehow or play it straight? No idea. I'd assume the former if not for plethora of colour-coded female characters we've met already. I appreciate this series' commentary on show-business harsh truths a lot but it somehow doesn't feel grounded in reality because of the visuals, particularly character designs. And I REALLY hope there'll be more male characters in the main cast, although judging by the opening, that might not be the case.

Tengoku-Daimakyou (ep. 5) - We focus more on Maru and Kiruko this time, which is good because They Are Great. By the way, I've been reading a little about this series' production and I was surprised to learn that it's really speeding through the manga - but does it so well that it doesn't feel rushed or anything like that. It doesn't happen often in anime, I think. I'll probably read the manga once the series ends just to see how does the story unfold there (and to see all the quality K&M content that's been cut from anime). Also I absolutely need to cite one sentence from ANN's weekly review of T-D because it was simultaneously the best and the worst sentence I've read in a review in a while: "And while Maru's boner gets in the way of their hug, we can see that it's not getting in the way of their friendship." Absolute perfection.

Skip and Loafer (ep. 5) - I've already written how I appreciate what they do with Egashira in this series and episode 5 fleshes her out even more. I think my favourite moment was after Egashira's and Mitsumi's clash with the third-years in the gym - how Egashira made sure to remember the names of the students who were rude to them, while Mitsumi remembered the name of the one who helped them. It's a very telling character moment for them both. Skip and Loafer is really growing on me, it might even end up as my favourite series of this season. I'm literally feeling happier after watching every episode, it's that powerful.

My Love Story with Yamada-kun ar Lv999! (ep. 5-6) - As I thought, the matter with Runa is solved pretty quickly and she's already Akane's bestie in episode 6. That's pretty good in my opinion. Even if Runa's change of heart may be a bit sudden, I don't think she'd make a compelling long-term antagonist. That 'gamer guy' from episode 5 gave me massive creeps and there was some great direction in that scene in the toilet. I like that even though ultimately nothing bad happened, the guys from the guild immediately went to the rescue because they knew the potential danger. Then episode 6 is back to usual shenanigans and I thought it was very funny. And one important note: Kouki Uchiyama's acting when Yamada was talking to Eita right after waking up was Extremely Good.

And in the backlog section:

The Witch from Mercury (season 1, ep. 7-9) - You know guys... maybe it's because the Internet was screaming about Prospera lately (I didn't catch any spoilers, thankfully) but I'm starting to get a feeling she might be a bad guy! On a serious note, it's very interesting how Prospera is contrasted with Delling and papa Jeturk (whatever his name is, I don't even care). All three of them are shitty parents but whereas Delling and Jeturk are very openly shitty in how demanding, strict and cold they are towards their children, the way Prospera treats Suletta is just chilling. Only three episodes left in season 1, I have no idea what might happen in the finale but I'm definitely looking forward to find out.

Spy x Family (ep. 6-7) - As I knew that The Face was coming, I actually appreciated The Punch more - that was a real good piece of animation. Damian's developing crush on Anya (including the special romanticised version of her in his eyes) and Loid suspecting that Becky obviously must be plotting a political sabotage or something because he just doesn't get kids were hilarious. Also, I totally forgot about Yor's and Anya's time together (or maybe it wasn't in the manga, though I think it was). It was great! I'm not going to be original by saying that Yor often feels a bit secondary in this family, so it was real nice seeing her getting more screentime. Next episode Yuri will show up - I think his visit was the last thing I've read in the manga, so I have no idea what happens next.

Aaand that'd be the end of this week's musings and ramblings. I start a new job on Monday but I think I should be able to keep up with all the shows. At least I must find some time for more Skip and Loafer. Hope you enjoyed reading and see ya!

[septembersghost]

Before I begin I must say I am a swiftie.

I love Taylor. Her music means a lot to me. It literally helped me in a lot of ways. But her recent actions have actually genuinely is upsetting to me(not saying she has to live the way I want her to but I feel really sad). Its just........he is a very disgusting person. He is someone who was literally m@********* in public and made misogynistic comments.

My biggest fury with him was when he called harry a queerbaiter. It was extra hard for me because harry's acceptance was what made me feel peace about my sexuality. I am still figuring out my sexuality and it's mostly fluctuating. He was the first person I saw say 'you dont have to tick every box'. He said that when I was questioning myself for the 100th time. Because if you want to come out to everyone you need a label right! He made me realise it's okay to not know everything and it felt like a warm hug from a friend. And watching M@** ***** call that person a 'queerbaiter' angered me to extreme and 'almost' destroyed my self esteem wondering whether everyone around me thought I was faking for attention too. I know him and Taylor have been friends for a long time but her being romantically linked with someone like that and being so carefree about it while he has been linked to 100th warranted controversy makes me feel sick in the stomach. It makes me wonder if she's like 'I know the things he said/did but I don't care ' and it hurts me so much to even think she feels that way. I know she is a good person and all that but.....the Taylor who made me feel accepted about being the odd kid in the school or the one who understood about my fear of growing up seems so far away. I feel so hurt by the fact that I am feeling this. I think I need to take a distance from her and her art and I don't know how long will that be.

Sorry if I bothered you with such a long paragraph but I feel you can understand this better than anyone here

hi love, i apologize it took me all day to answer this! so i'm going to be honest, i've been thinking about this specific situation ever since the first rumor surfaced, but i didn't address it since i know it sounds like fan-based bias, even though to me it's a larger issue than that.

let me digress for a moment - i've seen a lot of his fans try to defend the n*zi salute as "satire," and that it wasn't meant to be antisemitic, but as a jewish person, i find this deeply troubling, because, even as edgy ~performance art~, using such a direct symbol of hate is never okay (in conjunction with a lyric referencing someone who's been virulently antisemitic in public - and yes, the lyric itself is satirical criticism, but the combination of the two is unsettling, to say the least). it's concerning and it's hurtful and it's inappropriate, full stop. his non-apologies for his grossly racist and sexist comments are as well.

his antics onstage (i have to laugh at the raw steak thing somehow being a criticism of "toxic masculinity"...bro. what?) also cross a line from being performance art to being. ick. (UGH i'd forgotten that other incident you mentioned because it's gross and i blocked it from my memory. just. WHY!!!)

in truth, i had no idea who he was and had never even heard his name (though i was aware of the 1975, i never listened to them) until their album came out last year and suddenly he was spouting off everywhere and doing things and fans began to speak about the old rumors of he and taylor (which i dismissed out of hand, but now. idk). everything i've learned since has been against my will tbh.

which brings us to that awful queerbaiting comment. if you've followed me for any length of time, you know this is a particular hot button issue of mine, i just get incensed at the way that term is misused and weaponized against real people, and harry gets it in a particularly disgusting way because certain sections of the internet seem to feel a superiority complex in tearing him down for existing. never once has harry claimed to be a bastion of queerness or a trailblazer of fashion, and yet he's criticized for...what exactly? being himself? dressing however one chooses without being boxed in by gender expectations is exactly what we're meant to be aiming for, isn't it? not demanding someone's label and identity is supposed to be part of championing the community, isn't it? his choice to remain unlabeled matters. not only because it's no one's business but his own, but also because BEING an unlabeled/mspec person IS itself a whole identity. what matty said about this was appalling and WAY over the line, and particularly disrespectful since they're supposedly friendly. he had no right to make the comments that he did. he should've received more criticism for it than he did (and had he attacked anyone but harry, he probably would have).

(i wish what adam lambert said in response had gotten more traction. Automatically labeling looks and performances that aren’t cisheteronormative as queerbait is “almost underestimating the intelligence of gay people.”)

you feeling enraged and hurt by that is understandable, and you have every right to feel that way. it touches my heart to read that harry has helped you feel more at peace with your sexuality. i've mentioned before that i've grappled with what exactly mine is too and where i fall on whatever spectrum, and just the idea that we don't even HAVE to put a concrete definition on that, or that it's allowed to be fluid, is a relief. i also feel like there's a huge amount of bias where people forget that just because you haven't been in a relationship with someone of ___ identity/gender doesn't mean your own identity isn't real! you DON'T have to tick every box, and you ARE allowed to expand or change along the way, and you're still you and still valid! nobody has to have one set label forever, and nobody else is owed that explanation from you!

He made me realise it's okay to not know everything and it felt like a warm hug from a friend. 🥺💕💕💕 this is so sweet and i feel confident he would be touched by it too.

i am SO sorry that what matty said hurt you the way that it did, it was a reckless, thoughtless thing of him to say, and you and every other person who is working out their identity or who feels confident remaining unlabeled deserves better than him cruelly running his mouth. (which i also think had a level of jealousy in it, because, let's be honest here - he's never going to be harry, success-wise, and he also admitted harry declined to perform at his show, so). matty has frustrated and upset me on multiple occasions since i became aware of his behavior, and you're allowed to feel that way.

regarding taylor, as i said earlier, of course we have no control nor input over what she does or who she associates with, and much as we may love her, she is just a flawed human being too and she has made mistaken choices, and has overlooked behavior from others that perhaps she shouldn't have, or that we wouldn't ourselves, but only she can make those decisions for her life. i've seen a lot of disgust and concern over this on my dash, and i'm with everyone on all of that, but at the same time i think it's a bit of a wake-up call that she is her own autonomous woman whom we do not know personally, and we have to find our own ways to approach that boundary. if that means ignoring this until it blows over, if that means taking space away from her for a while, if that means making silly jokes. i think as long as we're not harassing others (which you would never! <3 but the uptick in cruel anons/death threats that have happened this past month make me sad and i wish everyone could take a breath and...not do that!), however we choose to deal with it is the best we can do. i tend to suspect she's been going through it, and maybe this won't last long, but that doesn't make it a great look nor is it unconcerning. regardless, you should do what's best for yourself and look out for your well-being. if that means detaching for a while, i promise it doesn't make you a bad fan, even though i know that hurts ("the Taylor who made me feel accepted about being the odd kid in the school or the one who understood about my fear of growing up seems so far away." though i'm older than you, this happened to me in my own sense during my 1989 disconnect. i really do get it, and seeing a similar pattern here is a bit painful). i also want to say that i think, knowing what we do know about her and her character and kindness, she'd still want you to feel accepted and loved, and wouldn't align with the trashy things he's said and done, but i understand why willingness to overlook it hurts as well.

thank you for confiding in me and letting this out, i know it's hard to talk about and feeling distanced from an artist with such meaning to you is a specific ache. the only advice i can give you is to step back however you need to, for however long you need to. whether you feel comfortable still holding onto her music but separating from her personally (and/or from tour), or whether you need space from all of it for a while, remember that it's always going to be there, and you can always come back. in the meantime, you can also turn to places and artists that are continuing to give you comfort (like harry, and i'm so glad he is that for you).

for what it's worth, i love you and i know your identity is worthwhile, and YOU are worthwhile, and you deserve to feel safe and embraced and seen. anywhere you go, you don't need a reason. 💛💛💛