#learning to trust again
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Remus sighed. “I was up late the other night and went to make some tea and discovered Harry awake reading.”
“The rebel.” Sirius said sarcastically.
“Indeed, just like his father.” Remus chuckled. “No, that's not what I'm worried about. When he saw me in the doorway, he was frightened. He didn’t know what my reaction was going to be so he frantically apologized. I quickly quelled his fears and we had tea and we talked about other things, but I didn’t like to see him so scared. Then at breakfast the other day, before I entered the room, I heard you two interacting, and he did the same thing. He burned the flapjack and panicked.”
“Yeah, I remember.” Sirius had concern in his voice as he spoke. “This is all so new to him. We don’t know the full extent of how the Dursleys treated him, but from these reactions, the way he always picks up the dirty dishes and washes them without complaint, the way he’s so quiet around the house. He’s walking on eggshells. I just wish there was something we could do to show him we aren’t going to hurt him.”
“I think part of it is just time. He'll eventually see that there’s nothing he can do that will cause us to lift a finger against him.” Remus replied. “The other part of it might be setting some proper boundaries and rules.”
“Ugh, yuck.” Sirius made a disgusted sound.
Remus chuckled. “I know! It’s terrible, but I think it’s the best way. If he knows what we expect from him, and knows that all that will happen if he ‘breaks a rule’ is he can’t fly on his broomstick the next day, he might not be so afraid to breathe.”
“I think you might be underestimating how attached he is to his broomstick.” Sirius replied.
****
Dignity be Damned, chapter 35: September First, excerpt (4)
Chapters 1-35 are available on Ao3 now!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/50555698/chapters/133299727
#wolfstar#wolfstar raising harry#remus lupin/sirius black#fanfic#harry potter#found family#cannon divergence#learning to trust again#chronic pain in fanfic#whump#marauders#dignity be damned
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i keep telling myself to stay grounded.
don’t float. don’t dream. don’t start building castles in the clouds with someone who might not be planning to stay. because i’ve done that before—handed over my heart just to watch someone drop it like it wasn’t something i spent years carefully holding together.
And yet… here they are.
with soft words and steady hands.
with patience where others had pressure.
with this quiet, gentle energy that makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, i’m not too much to carry.
i don’t trust easily anymore. love feels like a burned-down house i still smell smoke from. but they… they feel like rain after the fire. they make me want to peek out from behind the walls i’ve built. they make me want to believe in good mornings, in late night talks, in not being left.
i’m scared. but i’m also curious.
what if this time, it’s different?
what if this time, i get to keep the soft?
#spilled thoughts#love#new relationship#trying again#romantic vulnerability#healing in progress#lesbian love#lesbian yearning#long distance#lesbian kiss#healing#learning to trust again
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11/20
#big day for doomed yaoi enjoyers#(me)#i’m never ever doing this again i was screaming every minute coloring this i literally cannot do hard light#biggest case of “trust the process” i’ve ever experienced in my life#also i was gonna originally do a gun instead of knife to keep it canon but i quickly learned i can’t in fact draw guns#a knife is more symbolic anyway. stabbed in the back. yk#(trying to comfort myself that i can’t draw firearms even after eight years of art)#i remember playing this scene for the first time and actually breaking down at 2am bc that betrayal STUNG#i actually had no remorse for akechi after that 😭😭 i actually felt like a sadist for enjoying beating his ass in shidos palace#akechi as a character was specifically designed to make me go through all five stages of grief within a matter of minutes#absolute rollercoaster of emotions#ANYWAY IM FINALLY FREE TIME TO NOT DO ART FOR THE NEXT FOUR MONTHS 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼#persona 5 royal#persona 5#p5#p5r#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#goro akechi#akechi goro#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
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you can't keep them all caged, they will fight and run away
#wattzart#hunter the parenting#digital#htp marckus#htp#hunter: the parenting#marckus#ahaha...ha.... eu#i remember seeing someone in the htp tag say something abt how harpy hare was a good match for this arc of htp and honestly! agree!!#this ones for you....whoever you were i cant find the post again#also this took me so long but i loooooove drawing i love learning im such a learnerpilled thinkmaster supreme#that doesnt make any sense but trust. ok trust
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First kisses can be complicated
#art tag#doodles#ivy laidir#lucanis dellamorte#rookanis#siren au#take it now before i do irreversible damage#and again sorry for the weird cropping <3 it will happen again as always#this au is so fun so far… like i am at my best when i am silly and free#need it to be known that ivy ran away immediately after this. never ran so fast in their human form before they were so embarrassed#originally it was just out of no where end of a date nothing but vibes and they still havent learned to control that killer instinct enough#to trust themselves but the idea that they were almost going to kiss…. tensions in the air as they closed in and then they just fucking#panic and smack his mouth is way more funnier and a genuine possibility. so thats canon now#left lucanis standing there stumped didnt even have time to react like Oh!#theyre both so so silly in this… theyre allowed to be considering the actual fic itself has a lot of murder going on#anyways <3 im going to draw more . muwah#MY GOD I FORGOT TO MENTION MY FAVORITE PART OF RHIS IS THEIR SCARF BEING ISABELAS… MOTHER 😭😭!!!!
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pov you just pissed off the most dangerous husbands in japan
#this took so long but i am so proud of it#kats learns how to do digital art. finally#it was so much fun#i feel like i should aim for more semi-realism in the future#it was really interesting to try and keigo is so hot to me sry#kats art#:D guys look i did itttt#now i will never be able to do this again. probably#dabihawks#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#touya todoroki#keigo takami#married dabihawks#you can’t see the ring because i always manage to cover it up#but trust they’re wearing rings#don’t ask where this takes place. i just genuinely cannot draw touya with a shirt on idk why#highly possible they’re abt to take some photos or smth#gay of them#anyway. thanks for indulging me#i just wanted something fun and silly and cool#i’m proud of this#kats rambles#thanks pink also for encouraging me through this by finding keigo hot#helped#hotwings#dabihawks fanart#mha fanart
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Yall i dont think im gonna be able to stop thinking about usha and g13, actually.
Ushas an old old woman, clueless with tech. Lived long enough to develop various bonds with a LOT of people and relies on them a lot for help. In turn, shes VERY loyal to her close conpanions (a great example would be how she tends to back paula up a LOT, the way she sets up russel and paula to 'fake date' wink and all). She's very warm and very emotionally intelligent even if she's a bit clueless sometimes. Her logic is borderline incomprehensible, but it has heart.
G13 on the other hand, is a hacking prodigy. Hes young, hes sought after for his skills for better and for worse. But in turn, he's essentially lost himself in the process. He may be able to scrape nuke codes, but he'll never make a friend. He lacks any loyalty for anyone and anything except for himself and his interests, and if they dont satisfy those two points, then its worth nothing to him. His logic may be sound, but its cold.
#val rambles#nsbu spoilers#never stop blowing up#dimension 20#usha rao#g13#okay ill black out and maybe think more about it again oops#anyway the conclution is that HE will be learning about the importance of la familia (threat)#i could make an addition to this. something about how despite these differences both of them have a level of percived lonliness.#something g13 is. VERY slowly starting to realize when he first sees doug#anyway following the idea that the cards favorite movies signify a degree of. what character arc ends up being#i genuinely think they WILL show him the power of la familia he isnout here trying ti takenover and suddenly BOOM familia beam (threat)#i love adding to the tags and NOT rebloging but. something something about how they push others away#where for usha it comes off as not wanting to burden others she trusts while for g13 its bc he flat out trusts no one#also episode 2 notes that usha also has a set of trust issues due to her reliance on people she DOES trust.
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trying to doodle but i have a cold right now and iwnt to rip my nose off my face
#ninjago#llotion#parcaeive#:3#jusr... a doodle.. but trust im cooking up a human motion design and drawing them tgt again soon TRUST#LEARNING HOW TO DRAW DRAGONS... PLEASE BE KIND TO ME...
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“Did my parents know?” Harry asked.
Remus struggled to find context to the abrupt question. “Know what?”
“That you and Sirius were together?” Harry asked sheepishly.
“Yes, they did.” Remus smiled. “James was completely oblivious to the whole thing for the longest time. We finally told him in the seventh year. Once he finally knew, he was a consummate ally. I think he did a lot behind our backs to make sure our other classmates were supportive. Lily, on the other hand, figured it out herself. And by ‘figured it out’ I mean walked in on us—" Remus cut off as he realized what he was saying and who he was saying it to. He coughed before continuing. “—on a chaste walk holding hands.”
Harry laughed.
****
Dignity be Damned, chapter 34: Rest, More or Less, excerpt (4)
Completed fic is available on Ao3 now!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/50555698/chapters/133261858
#wolfstar#fanfic#remus lupin/sirius black#harry potter#marauders#found family#cannon divergence#learning to trust again#chronic pain in fanfic#whump#wolfstar raising harry#dignity be damned
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some people may see this cassian/bix content as an obstacle for rebelcaptain... but as a rebelcaptain truther i only see more jyncass material to work with 😌
#andor series#andor spoilers#rogue one#rebelcaptain#they gonna break up again alsdkjf#or if they don't it literally won't last sorry#but the contrast of how little he trusts her to do things on her own/ be healthy and stable enough for work#with how he never has to really worry about jyn at all#not necessarily bc jyn is more competent but more like. he has grown and learned how to have Faith™#her faith carried him with her etc etc#idk i'm not very articulate rn#and otherwise we get to see what it's like to date rebel spy cas 😌#and i get to cherry pick 😌
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Will never get over how Starscream and Skyfire's relationship is always doomed. There's never an iteration of them where they both stay on the same side at the end. They always end up being against each other, tearing each other apart (whether intentionally or not). They always end up losing each other, be it by a snowstorm, by the war, or by death itself. They never receive a happy ending together, one if not both of them is doomed to suffer.
Skyfire is doomed to be an Autobot, by forces out of his control. Starscream is doomed to be an Decepticon, by his own self destructive tendencies. They are both doomed, because of who they are. They always try to save the other, in their own way. But it never works. They are doomed to fail, whether they stay together or not.
#Starscream and skyfire are parallels of optimus and Megatron. do you understand me.#believing in someone when no one else did. seeing something worth supporting when no one else did. being the one person they trust.#they both ended up being torn apart by the war and their own ideals. losing each other because of their conflicting views.#one became an autobot and the other became a decepticon. one of them must fall.#i have lots of feelings about them yknow.#doomed yaoi shit going on here#will never get over how much g1 starscream cared about skyfire. like. he kept trying to have skyfire stay by his side#he was still a shitty guy and treated skyfire like shit but there was genuine care and emotion under it all. he still cared#i need a universe where they get to reconcile. where they get to be happy. pull an earthspark and let them be friends again#i need a skyfire who learns to love and accept post-war Starscream. i need a Starscream who despite everything still want skyfire with him.#i need them not to be doomed but rather learn and grow. accept the flaws and faults of the past and learn to move on#can you tell i love skystar#can you tell i love them#skyfire#jetfire#starscream#transformers#transformers g1#g1 transformers#the fire burns#skystar
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smoke break
#this was lying around in my drafts for three months and i colored it just now so sry if the art style looks kinda 💀#teen skk is so special to bc they’re just idiot kids forced to get along and that’s what makes them hilarious#when will the unreleased seventeen light novel come out omfgggggg slamming my head into a brick wall#i need to see them in their peak years. their double black years. the years where they finally learned to trust and grow fond of each other#i am never painting again i cried every second doing this#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#nakahara chuuya#chuuya nakahara#sokouku#skk#lotus draws
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The musical episode.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangyao#nie mingjue#Remember jin guangyao: If you do any treachery you will face the wrath of five horses.#When are the horses going to come into play? You'll see.#s2.ep8 had beautiful music... I listened to it on loop while drawing!#Good music to chill out to before you fly into a rage.#This episode really cements how JGY's mind works - It is a matter of long-term outcomes at the sake of nearly everything else.#Morals do not matter to him if the outcome is more favourable.#and at the center of it all - he has learned that the only person he can truly trust is himself.#In turn - the only person his actions benefit are himself.#He will do anything and everything it takes to reach a position of power - not just for the power. But because it means safety.#Because it was something he was denied and the idea of not having control in his life again is unforgivable.#'Happiness' isn't a goal. We are looking at someone still stuck at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.#Everything and everyone is a piece in a game. Bonds and friendships are assets. People are dispensable.#He wants to climb for the sake of climbing. He wants praise and recognition because he feels it is deserved. It's all so hollow.#We could go deeper into his psyche on this.#But these are also tags under a comic in which 'evil penis music' is the punchline.
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One thing about Gortash that keeps bugging me is his desire to share power.
Because obviously, that's a great deal right? That's something special right? A tyrannical fascist geniunely wanting to share power with an old companion? Of all people? An old companion who fell from grace, yet Gort's still devoted to them? Isn't this, moral depravity aside, a great testament to their kinship and all that?
I mean that's certainly one way to read it right? But there's something else about that proposition, somethings leaving a bit of a sour aftertaste here, namely the near impossible level of power imbalance going on.
Gortash knows Durge intimately well. He flaunts that fact immediately and does not care about the repercussions his old companion may face due to the dirty laundry being aired publicly (if he's not looking forward to them outright, that may be their own version of flirting though tbf). Anyway, he knows their name, skills, past, and presumed motivations; they were incredibly close before the incident, and yet he hardly talks about that, brushes it off by saying "I missed you—anyway heres the issues I'm facing rn". He teases that he knows them enough to draw intrigue, but he never follows up, holding that knowledge and the answers Durge wants above their head. He uses their oath as an excuse, that they promised each other not to get involved into each other's messes, that he couldn't do shit, and then immediately asks them to get involved in his mess and sort it out for him cuz all of a sudden the oath not to get involved apparently doesn't apply anymore.
Like, yes, it seems like a "good deal" and something positive at first glance, and yes, he's not lying through his teeth but he's still withholding a shit ton of information on purpose and twisting the narrative to suit him more than anyone else. Instead of truly welcoming back someone who's been missing for months and helping them out a bit, that mf dispatches them to do his dirty work for him and promises shared reign alongside something as mundane as the chance to gain knowledge about themselves as a reward, yk the thing Durge really would like rn. AND considering Durge's notes and depending on what choices you make, sharing power would be more so Durge being merciful than smth Gortash can actually decide or propose (the balls he has for still trying though—sees a murderous demigod that can't remember they liked him once and decides to be a cocky bitch anyway).
Eitherway, he wants to share power. He might even mean it, but he's not willing to actually divulge information concerning anything 'Durge' and instead dangles the fact that he knows them above their head. He wants to share power, but only if Durge is blindly loyal to him and does not question his approach. After all sending the amnesiac gore baby to find their sister in a city and temple they can't remember whatsoever all by themselves isn't particularly efficient or smart but a damn suicide mission. And then he doesn't even provide any aid. He's willing to share power only if he gets to keep his control over the situation and Durge, and one way to confirm that is by sending the Bhaalspawn after their own family with no help nor information (either they come back and he'll be sure they still do as demanded or they'll die down there and thats that, Gortash probably). And only then is he actually willing to share power. Handily also without revealing any further information whatsoever, he's just using platitudes and buttering up to the bloody Bhaalspawn, never actually sharing any information regarding their shared past or what Durge was up to.
In conclusion, Gortash wants to share power the same way a king let's a dagger dangle from his belt while he sits on his throne. He doesn't actually want an equal right now. If he did he would not be doing everything to tip the scales in his favour and blatantly change the topic and refuse to disclose more information than necessary, information regarding the person he "missed so dearly". What he says sounds nice but what he's actually doing is trying to control Durge. This ain't rly about a shared reign or the likes, this is more so getting Durge to blindly tag along while concealing their past for reasons one can only speculate (did they fight, did someone betray the other, why is Gortash so unwilling to share any solid information?).
This escalated but you get my gist.
#bg3#enver gortash#durgetash#bg3 gortash#bg3 durge#lord gortash#once again reminded of Isaacs saying to trust him only as much or as far as you could throw him#which isn't much#anyway still on my mission to make Gortash a worse more fleshed out person and a better antagonist#cuz this man is smart and he knows to manipulate people#he learned how from a fucking devil#so the fact that he is NOT exploiting a past close relationship and the attached emotions is in itself sketchy as shit#he shames durge and then blames it all on Orin while painting himself as some sorta saviour#but he handily forgets all about the heist the throne and all the other stuff that durge WILLINGLY did for him#why are you doing that little lordling?#did you do something to piss off the Bhaalspawn so now you avoid it for fear it could trigger something?#why do you suddenly need to confirm that they'll follow you blindly under the worst circumstance when all your other plans are reckless?#why be extra cautious with this one (except for game design reasons)?
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I have a tsc3 theory I can't get off my mind, and I'm a bit scared.
I absolutely loved the scene of Jean kissing Cat's temple before the game. But I think the media could spin it against Jean if he slips and gets a bit violent on court.
Headlines about how a Raven in gold is still a Raven, how he's "back to his old ways" and then someone finds a picture of the kiss (it happened on the team benches, and I'm pretty sure that's in view of the whole court) and, with his address having been leaked, dots are connected to reveal he's living with Cat and Laila and suddenly he's sleeping his way through the team again.
#i'm not 100% convinced but it could happen and i really don't want it to#no more damage to jean or his image ever again#even less now that he's learning to give and receive affection#can you tell i hate the media? first kathy ferdinand and now hannah bailey#i do not trust them to not turn against jean the second he slips up#tsc3 theories#jean-yves moreau#jean & cat#tgr#the golden raven#aftg#all for the game#tgr spoiler#tgr spoilers
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hi Emma! Who do you consider your friends do you have a crush on anybody?
" For crushes... "
#ITS SO SO FUNNY HOW MUCH PAIRINGS FIT MELLY? i felt like i needed to draw her as the greed talked about in the bible#AND MELLY POTENTIALLY KNOWING WENDY FOOTE BEFORE THE MANOR? omg... im so excited to see their lore#2022 me would be so sad emmamelly is not bros otp no more#NOT THAT EMMAMELLY IS BAD AND GONE heh.#swaytura on the mind though u feel#idv#identity v#emma woods#identity v gardener#survivor ask blog#idv gardener#ask emma woods#identity v ask blog#mentions:#melly plinius#wendy foote#give her like 20 seconds before she crushes again trust#a moment to talk about ships:#I dont got a defined crush/relationship for Emma! I love all her ships ^^ it's so silly to see other peoples portrayals and hcs#I started off shipping Emma and Melly because of garden scenarios and how they'd share a mutual bond through their nature expertise#Tracy and Emma are one of my OG ships too! super cute! From gears to plants they both have their own parallels to learn from eachother#when I first started this blog I used to talk to this Mun and they started sending me Emma and Naib artworks!#my goodness their excitement was contagious ^^! I hope theyre doing alright.#To that one Kurt/Servais and Emma shipper I see you! the pairings are super calming and I think itd be interesting to explore their past!#Someone posted Lucky x Emma here too and heh.. I totally get you. theyd get into such shenanigans together and they seem sweet!#Then I've been seeing alot of Norton and Emma recently on tiktok! Theres this one artist that draws them in such silly scenarios#But everytime I think about shipping them I get flashbacks to a minecraft server with nortnaib and i feel like damn... betrayal </3#how could i do that to my nortnaib besties#Then when playing with my friend on IDV I noticed they had Mary and Emma room pictures and yknow what? go queen#hcs are very much appreciated :) maybe when i open asks again i'd love to hear everyones thoughts.
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