#let's see if i can manage how to backtrack to have both of them HAHA

[virsancte]

experimenting with the preset i'm using............ when does a splash of orange become too much orange? i am willing to push the limits

[lazyliars]

/rp

Before I get into it, I want to state that is EXPLICITLY an analysis of the Characters, and is not intended to touch on how the cc’s played them in a meta sense unless specifically stated otherwise.

Also, this is technically a part two to my other post, which took a more in depth look at Techno and Phil’s reactions to Tommy’s death. It’s not necessary when reading this post, but I don’t address their reactions here.

So. The question must be asked.

Are we [the Syndicate] the baddies?

Yes.

The End.

 Why are the Syndicate the baddies?

They got damn logo is a wither skull.

The End.

That's not how this works.

Yeah, yeah. You’re right.

The Syndicate's goals as an organization are not inherently bad. They seem to have good intentions behind them, and the focus on the freedom of it's individual group members is important to remember when talking about it; It is not a government. There is no hierarchical power system. No one is forced to do anything against their will, or surrender any of their rights or power to remain a member. It is not a government.

I also want to address Techno and Phil backing Ranboo into a corner – I see them getting a lot of flack for this, but I personally do not think it is relevant to the greater discussion, or necessarily representative of any contradictions within the organization. It was clearly played for laughs, and after they back off they clarify to Ranboo that they won't force him. Then later when Phil and Ranboo are alone, Ranboo feels safe enough to express that he felt like he was pressured into it, and Phil assures him he is allowed to leave whenever he wants; He is not being forced to do anything, and he is not being coerced or blackmailed.

None of the Syndicate members have done any wrongs against each other in the context of the Syndicate, OR gone against any of the Syndicate's core principles.

That, said, holy shit are they the baddies.

Listen, there's trying to telegraph a meaning or message to the audience and then there's having your logo be wither skulls on blackstone. That is straight out of the skit I keep referencing, seriously.

Okay, but, they laughed at it! It was played as a joke, just like the Ranboo thing!

The Ranboo thing was improv, the Syndicate's headquarters were planned – the artistic choices that they made reflect on what role they want the build and the organization inhabiting it to play in the future storylines.

Wither Skulls kind of have some CONNOTATIONS. Techno is an English major, I don't think he chose the most threatening imagery possible on accident, and then joked about the way people would interpret it just to stir the pot. This reads as hugely intentional.

And beyond that, the jokes they make during this part aren't “haha yeah, we look bad but we're actually good!” they're “you can tell by looking at these that we're the good guys wink wink, this is good guy stuff right here :)” It is a joke about how they are definitely not the good guys. This isn't even a case of unreliable narrators, this is one step down from flat out saying the meta intent.

But okay, I hear you, I'm talking about things that haven't happened yet. The Syndicate hasn't used any Withers, they could be an aesthetic choice.  Lets look at what they do in practice.

So, they barge into private property, assess Snowchester's right to continue existing based entirely on their own ideals of what Freedom is, and then only once Tubbo assures them that they have no standing leader do they grant the place their approval to, and I gotta stress this part, continue existing.

 In my Quackity meta, I already talked about how Government in the context of a M1necraft RP cannot be compared to IRL Governments on a one-to-one scale. They don't serve the same purposes or have the same type of power. What I didn't talk about was Agency in the context of m1necraft governments.

In an irl government, if you are born into one, you can't really leave without committing a massive overhaul on your life, which can be expensive and difficult, if not impossible for many people. Even in a “benevolent” government, the simple physicality of where you were born can prevent you from leaving it easily.

The same hurdles do not exist in the Dream SMP. People who join M1necraft governments choose to. They want to, either at the beginning when they form one, or later on when they join up. So far, no Government has just Sprung Up and forced the current residents of an area to become dependent on them, except maybe the Eggpire, who's status as a government is... shakey.

And even when people want to leave or separate from the government, they have been historically able to do so without any trouble or any effort from said governments to stop them. Jack Manifold emancipated from Manberg. Fundy and Quackity both left to start new nations. In all cases they were allowed to do so without any attempts on the part of the governments to stop them, either through force, or institutions preventing them from doing so.

The most anyone has lost when leaving a government is their house, which is still usually their property anyway, and is something that is easily rebuilt elsewhere and is inconvenient to move anyway.

The only exceptions to this might be Schlatt exiling Wilbur and Tommy - but even then, they weren’t trying to leave, they were trying to get back in, and of course the original L’manberg revolution, where Dream attempted to force L’manberg back into the Dream SMP, which wasn’t even a government at that point in time.

I don’t consider Phil’s house arrest an example of a government forcing someone to stay a citizen - that was treated less as a matter of a citizen wanting to leave the country and more as a threat to national security. Still pretty fucked up, but it’s a different issue.

What I'm saying is, If Tubbo wants to create a government out in the middle of nowhere, threatening no one, forcing no one to join either through force or desperation, and allowing people to join willingly because they want to, then he should be allowed to do that.

The Irony of the Syndicate, a group of people consisting of some of the richest, strongest people on the server, going around and enforcing 'Freedom' that entails no one person having more power than any other, is absurd. 

It shows an extreme lack of self-awareness and/or self-righteousness, as they seem to think that they deserve to be the ones who decide what constitutes a government.

Snowchester is a small independent nation - they shouldn’t have to live in fear of being obliterated if they don’t walk on eggshells to meet an arbitrary standard decided by people who’s only authority on the matter COMES FROM THEIR PERSONAL POWER. No one elected them! No one chose them! They were not “approved” by the server at large to enact this kind of law.

The Syndicate are not a government, but they are an unsupervised power structure exerting their ideals on a land that did not ask for them. Like, These people have invented an actual Authoritarian-Anarchist faction. How the hell did they manage this?????

Back on topic.

Tubbo shows them the crater left by his nukes. The reaction is oddly positive – the nukes are fine by the morals of the Syndicate, apparently. I'd argue that they come across as more impressed than anything else; they seem to respect Tubbo for having gotten ahold of “real” power.

(There's a few good memes out there about “We can excuse nuclear weaponry, but we draw the line at Government!”)

So. By the Syndicate's standards: A single person or group of acceptably equal persons with weapons of mass-destruction are only worth “keeping an eye on” because they might provoke other people.

Like, I consider Project Dreamcatcher to be one of, if not the most morally ambiguous thing Tubbo has ever done, largely because it was all on his own initiative. He holds some culpability for The Butcher Army and Phil's house arrest, but they weren't his ideas and he was mostly following Quackity at that point.

And Phil tells Tubbo, IMMEDIATELY AFTER SEEING THE NUCLEAR CRATER:

“Looks like you've reformed a little bit Tubbo, I'm proud.”

And it's fine. Crimes against nature? Fine. A sign of healing in fact!! Tubbo is having a sweeeelll time and he definitely didn't make these nukes specifically in fear of being attacked by these exact people! Tubbo is doing great. Tubbo is doing fine. Tubbo. is. FINE.

Anyway.

I don't think this presentation of the Syndicate was an accident. Looking at the greater lore of SMP right now, after the Egg is done, their list of enemies is slim, and considering that they seem solely invested in taking down governments, that leaves maybe Snowchester, Kinoko Kingdom, and Eret and the greater Dream SMP.

Snowchester has not been shown to be corrupt, evil, or have any intent to go down that route. The most ambiguous thing they've done is, again, is the nukes. Other than that, it's pretty much your average cottagecore snow village.

Kinoko is presented in an even more morally 'good' light, Karl having founded it specifically for his Time-travel library purposes, which are currently being treated by the narrative as a selfless act, if not downright heroic.

Eret is also a fairly 'good' aligned character atm. He's been on that redemption grind since the og betrayal, and doesn't seem keen on backtracking. He's actively tried to leverage his position as king to make things better, and hasn't been quiet about that. He was also 'validated' by Tommy*, a character who has been described both by his allies and enemies as “the hero,” so take that as you will.

What I'm getting at is, all of the current potential enemies for the Syndicate aside from the Egg, are currently being cast as 'good,' and if they were to be attacked, they would undoubtedly have the moral high-ground, unless something drastically changed.

The only potential shakeups I can think of is are a Dream escape and/or a Wilbur revival, both of which could draw the Syndicate's attention and ire, depending on how things go. That said, it's just as likely that either or both of them would join the Syndicate – Dream still has that favor, and Phil and Techno both seemed to think Wilbur would've agreed with their blowing up L'manberg.

Both of those characters are currently **villains – the fact that they're both prime candidates for the Syndicate is a huge indication of the direction it's going to go as the plot moves forward.

((*I know some people are gonna come at me for painting Tommy as the “deciding factor” of what is morally good, so lemme just stop you there. I'm not talking about Tommy somehow having the 'right' to decide who is and isn't good, and definitely not the right to decide who should and shouldn't be king. I'm saying that Tommy, a character who the narrative treats as, if not a good person, then a person who is trying to be good, was in support of Eret, a character who has also been trying to be good.

Eret doesn't gain the moral highground because Tommy said so, he gets it because a character who the narrative treats as trying to do better, acknowledged Eret's earnest attempts at doing the same.

**I'm referring to Wilbur here as a villain because Tommy seemed convinced he would be if he were to be brought back. There is always the possibility that he's wrong.))

So, to summarize this: I read the Syndicate as being intentionally positioned as future antagonists, if not outright villains of a future arc. They are NOT a Government but their goals are contradictory with their means, and it is important to keep in mind that they plan to enforce their own brand of freedom on people who did not grant them either the authority or permission to do so.

So, uh. Can you tell I loved these streams? They were seriously so good. I kept switching between Ranboo and Techno's POV's trying to keep up with everything. I still have to watch Niki's!

All in all, I'm super, super excited for whats coming next, egg stuff, Syndicate stuff, Tommy stuff, all of it.

[embrassemoi]

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 17

Pairings: Sirius B, Remus L, [F]Reader  Content: Language, possible errors A/N: slight head-hopping

Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 17: The Stalking Map 

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January 31st, 1976 | 11:30 pm

“Move your arse over!” Lily whispered. Moments after the lights went out, she crawled out of bed, her silky nightgown dragged across the floor as she walked over to Y/N. In one hand, she held a pillow, the other, Toulouse.

Y/N giggled, scooting over. “Can't get enough of me?”

“Hush! You know what I mean,” she blushed. Lily slipped in, the bed dipped as she wiggled around, making herself comfortable. But the small size didn’t help as they were slightly cramped together, leaving little space for either girl to move. Y/N made a note to herself to charm her bed so it’d be larger.

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February 2nd, 1976 | 12:23 am

“You really shouldn’t cram studying like this.”

A candle burned brightly inside their closed curtain drapes as Y/N continued to stress over an upcoming test.

“You’re smart — but you’re lucky if you manage a troll.”

“Be anymore encouraging, will you?” Y/N muttered out sarcastically.

Lily rolled her eyes, getting up from her pretzel seated position as her hand reached out, disappearing beyond the curtain drapes. Leaning over and supporting herself by gripping the bed frame, she grabbed a coffee pot and two teacups, pouring a steaming amount into each. She handed her one, Lily’s eyes squinted, her tongue poking out in thought before beginning. “So, five birds will be ejected from the wand with a blue light…”

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February 4th, 1976 | 1:12 am

They stared at each other for a moment before Lily’s mouth twitched upwards. The silence only lasted for a few beats before they both erupted into roaring laughter so strong that they had to lean into each other to prevent themselves from rolling off the bed.

“No. You. Didn’t!” Y/N exclaimed.

“What was I supposed to do? Not punch him?!” “Precisely!”

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February 5th, 1976 | 10:59 pm

Lily danced, jumping around on her bed. Her bright hair bounced around wildly whilst Y/N held her wand, pretending it was a microphone. One earbud was in Lily’s ear, the other in hers.

‘Yes, I’ve been brokenhearted!’ They mouthed to each other, despite there being a silencing spell around Lily’s bed.

‘Blue since the day we parted,

Why? Why? Did I ever let you go?

Mamma Mia now I really know!’

Y/N took her hands, pretending to play chords as if she were in front of an actual piano, mimicking the erratic backtrack. Lily shook with laughter before she slowly sank onto the bed as her hair sprawled out.

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February 9th, 1976 | 12:17 am

“Ginger —”

“I consider that harassment and bullying. Do you know how many detentions I can give you?”

“Haha — ginger.”

“Ten points from Gryff —” “No —” “TWENTY POINTS FROM —” “I’M SORRY!”

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February 11th, 1976 | 1:37 am

“What do you wanna know?” She whispered.

Speckles of starlight slipping through the cracks of their drapes. Lily, for whatever reason, seemed restless. It always seemed like whenever it was extremely early in the morning, there was a change in Lily’s demeanour.

Lily averted her gaze, biting her bottom lip, “Tell me a secret.”

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February 12th, 1976

After almost two weeks of their almost nightly rendezvous, they’d gotten closer than they have in the past six months and it seemed like Lily knew her better than she did at times.

Lily was practically bouncing off the walls. Every day, she seemed to become more radiant, happier, bubblier and Y/N couldn’t help but wonder what caused such a spike in her mood.

The redhead wove their way out of the bustling crowd, her arm linked with Y/N’s. She’d caught a few times, Lily looking at her every now and then before she seemed to stare for a little longer than what was considered polite. She’d forced a cough, fiddling with a strand of hair with her free hand; looking everywhere — or at anything, but her.

Sometimes Y/N felt and sounded like a broken record.

Repeating her thoughts over and over again, analyzing herself and the people around her; overthinking causing loads of unanswered questions… It was a problem that she didn’t know how to switch off.

Sometimes, it’d become too overwhelming, even to the point of tears in frustration and the constant overthinking. It would start with a flicker of interest, morphing into a spiral of questions, then irritation before spreading through her veins like a wildfire, spiking with anxiousness or fury. But recently, her over-thinking wasn’t necessarily overwhelming or maddening, this time it was purely curious. It was as if she blinked an eye; suddenly Lily would be acting fine — normal to becoming strange and skittish within mere seconds.

Perhaps it was stress?

February began and the workload for the OWLs was beginning to wear down on everyone. To be dramatic, every day became a blur, all merging into one blob: wake up, head down to the hall, class, lunch, class, study — then become too overwhelmed from studying and have the urge to cry or yell, dinner, study more, then sleep. With hardly any time to retain the information and the OWLs set to start late May, Y/N’s main goal was to memorize every bit of information rather than learn what it meant; that was for another time.

Whenever the fifth or seventh years weren’t in class, they were studying in the library, the hallways, even at dinner or lunch. It was so busy that the Marauders made it a point to swing by — even Mary and Marlene were becoming frequent visitors too. Mostly, they studied, but other times it ended with Lily constantly threatening James with detention (which he already received one and lost around forty house points after starting a small fire — which nobody knew how it even happened), Peter brought baked goods but ended up spilling a cup of tea over his notes and robes; Sirius and Marlene often mucked around while Y/N and Remus begun migrating to the common room after Pince threatened to throw them all out (and honestly, they were tired with everyone else’s shit).

And it had been taking a toll on Lily. She’d lost sleep and was slightly more agitated when it came to those around her and overall seemed to become quieter than usual.

Yeah, it was probably stress, but it didn’t answer her happy mood. Whatever it was, it looked good on her.

That day, they decided to eat lunch away from the Great Hall. They sat on a nearby window ledge, watching students idly as they passed back and forth, all having their own little lives. Y/N’s back was pressed against the window, her knees bunched together as Lily guessed the lives of people around them.

Young students, old students, some smiling, some frowning. Usually, Hogwarts was almost too overbearing. The swarm of bodies clung together like magnets, hard to separate, hard to pull yourself away from because soon enough, you’ll be roped into another set of magnets. While Hogwarts had been smaller in size and population compared to Ilvermorny, you could never catch a break here.

But, in times like these, they were able to come down from the high. It was fascinating and oddly calm; the noise, the chatter, it all became background noise.

And like a magician, Remus popped out, walking towards them. Lily waved Remus down, inviting him to sit with them. Although, Peter wasn’t that far behind as he came bouncing up behind. A few people waved to him, he’d even stopped a few times to catch up with a few students that passed.

Remus took the free seat next to Y/N, Peter next to Lily.

“Bloody cold here,” Peter said, rubbing his shoulder up and down, handing each girl a muffin before Remus, but he declined, waving around a small bag of blackberries.

Lily and Peter quickly fell into a conversation while she and Remus turned to talk. His leg brushed against hers before ripping away quickly. Even with just the slightest touch, Remus was a furnace. Y/N quickly looked up to him, their eyes meeting shortly. Her eyebrow curled up at him, wondering why he was so warm; had he been sick? He didn’t look bad…

She hadn’t been spending that much time with him as of late, aside from the study groups. But he smiles broadly. There was a weariness on his face that seemed to have chased away immediately. “Noon.”

“Noon! How have you been?”

His smile turns even brighter, so much as he could rival the stars. There’s a certain playfulness in his eyes, devilishly and sly. He looks too eerily like James, but it only tells her that he’d come up with another prank recently.

“Great,” there is amusement in his voice, so smug, so confident. “Came up with a new prank idea.”

Bloody knew it, as he’d would say.  

“Tell me about it.”

“Well, let’s just say that there’s going to be a lot of dungbombs, Polyjuice potions and probably explosions.”

“Explosions?!”

“You’ll see.” Again, sounding so confident and smug. It put a smile on her face. “So what about you?”

Her mind racks around for a while; nothing much has happened recently; she’s stumped.

He considers her for a moment with a soft gaze, completely understanding. “We’re planning to mix in Polyjuice potion with pumpkin juice on Valentine's day at dinner. When the person drinks it; they should turn into who they fancy.”

“So where do the explosions come in?”

Remus gives a deep chuckle, “Now I can’t give away all my secrets, can I?”

But before she could make a witty retort, perhaps even convincing him to spill his deets, Peter calls out to Remus, pointing discreetly to a girl looking at them directly from the other side of the corridor. They all recognized her from the study group, a fourth year that comes on Wednesdays. She waved over to them — well, actually just at Remus as her other hand grasped an item behind her back.

He waves over, hesitantly getting up, “I’ll be back.

This wasn’t unusual — since he ran most of the fifth year groups, Remus constantly had younger students approach him in the halls. Although, they were all starstruck; after all, he was tall, a bit scary and a part of the oh so intimidating Marauders.

Their eyes were glued to his back as they watched the interaction play out. The girl tipped back and forth on her feet, swaying as she shyly looked up to him. She went on to a small monologue before pulling out a heart-shaped box of chocolates and holding it in front of herself.

Lily sucked in a sharp breath, a hand flying to her mouth to prevent giggling to seep out and the young girl overhearing, but it was out of entertainment rather than any malicious intent. Remus, however, did not look too phased, however, gave a pitiful smile, thanking the girl for her confession but letting her down softly. Within a second, the girl’s face contorted, her eyes swelling up with thick tears as she threw the chocolate box at Remu’s chest — but missed, scattering to the ground, as she bolted down the corridor.

“Blimey,” Peter breathed out, “That’s the third one this week. He’s going to beat Sirius for Valentine’s day confessions at this rate.”

“Well this is awkward,” Remus said, coming back to the group. He had picked up the box, an uncomfortable grimace on his face as he turned it around. Y/N looked up at him; he was flustered, unsure what to do. So, she patted his shoulder, gaining his attention and slid the box out of his hands and cracked it open; they were all sorts of different chocolate, milk, white, dark, truffles, shavings, even some had coconut while others were biscuits covered in it. It was intended for Valentine's day judging by the intricate and soft velvety packaging but she assumed that poor girl simply couldn’t refrain.

Yeah, she definitely should’ve waited — or not have said anything, but at least she had nerve. It felt like Y/N lacked the so-called Gryffindor trait often, so if anything, she applauded that fourth year.

The group looked at her oddly as Y/N shrugged, plopping a piece into her mouth. “What? Expensive chocolate is still expensive chocolate.”

She took the box, stretching her hand out, offering it to the group.

“Nu-uh,” Lily blurted, her wands waved out in front of her, “There’s no way I’m eating that.”

“Why?”

“Don’t you feel bad?! And that must be bad mojo! You broke her heart; why did you take the box?”

“Surely you saw her throw it at me! You didn’t expect me to throw it back at her?”

Lily stopped her scold, suppressing another fit of giggles before letting out a very loud snort. Y/N and Peter howled together at careless, ‘improper’ lady laughs that Lily usually didn’t make. Y/N liked the change, she seemed freer.

“Well, do you fancy anyone then?” Lily retorted as she composed herself.

Remus snorted too, scooted over to Y/N as she offered him the box. He nodded, grabbing a small bite-sized chocolate piece. He rubbed at his collarbone in a sheepish manner, cracking it which made Y/N and Peter's face scrunch up. “What do you think?”

“You should go and date around. Honestly, you have all these women at your feet and you’ve never gone on one.” Peter added.

“Yes, yes!” Lily urged, “Listen to him!”

“You guys care more about this than I do.”

If James and Sirius were the most popular students, James being goofy while Sirius was a playboy, and Peter had the most friends, Remus was definitely the most well-liked Marauder and the one with the coolest reputation; something that James was certainly jealous of. But the fact that he seemed oblivious to it, Y/N found hilarious and humbling, very unlike his friends.

His head shook. “Well then, what about you two. Do you fancy anyone?”

They both went red immediately. Peter bit the inside of his cheek before Y/N shoved the tray of chocolates his way; he grabbed a handful, eating them in complete silence. Lily, well, she went completely still, almost as if Remus had shot a spell at her. She coughed, looking away uncomfortably as a nervous chuckle embedded its way out.

Y/N’s eyes widened and she and Remus immediately whipped their heads to look at each other. Their mouths gaped, closing and opening like goldfish. Both of their minds reeled, thinking about the same thing. Remus snapped his head back to Lily, his finger pointing at her. “Godric! You do!”

“I-I do not! I don’t fancy anyone!”

“Spill! What’s he like?” Remus asked. They kept probing her for questions, in hope of an answer but she wouldn’t budge.

“Is it Potter?!” Peter asked, his happy mood dimming but he forced a chipperly grin.

Remus was choking on air itself, “You’re taking the piss!”

They all looked at her in burning anticipation. If it was true, James was going to have a field day. Lily’s eyes widened, reaching over to grab the lid of the chocolate box and wacked Peter with it.

They were a mess of giggles, particularly Remus and Y/N who watched Lily berate Peter for the sheer mention of James. They basked in the safe feeling of the sunlight on their skin, the warmth spreading through them and rivalled the bitter chill.

As more laughter erupted, memories created, chocolate eaten, the bell eventually rang. Lily parted off with Marlene and Peter, both in the small class, as Y/N joined Remus.

“You think it’s Potter? Can’t be, can it?”

“I think he’d cry if it was.”

“Truly, he’d go mental.”

“Or maybe Lily’s gone mad.”

Remus shrugged, a smirk tugged at his lips, “Perfect match then.”

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Y/N slumped over her textbooks, watching as Bowie the Bowtruckle climbed into her hand. She hardly paid attention to what Kettleburn droned about.

“Alright! My pupils, listen up; next week, we’re starting a group project for the OWLs. But, I will be the one assigning the partners — oh don’t give me those faces! I have picked your partner based on grades and strengths. Ultimately you will both work together on hatching a Puffskein and care for it. It will be ongoing alongside the rest of your OWL studies and other projects I will assign.

“You will be graded on the overall health and happiness of your Puffskeins. We have gone over their care for a while and I think we’re ready to start. Remember to refer back to your books and do not hesitate to ask me. I have all your equipment ready to go next week.”

Kettleburn coughed, unfurling a piece of parchment with what the class assumed was a list of names.

“To start, Dorcas Meadowes and Lucinda Talkalot —”

Great.

Kettleburn continued to list name after name. Y/N brought a finger to Bowie, letting him touch her gently.

“ — Crabble and Evan Rosier.

“Amita Patil and Edmud Brown.

“Sirius Black and Y/N L/N.

“Susan Chang and Agnes —”

Wait.

Her eyes widened, sharply turning to Sirius who already stared back. Both of their mouths were agape. She hadn’t heard wrong.

“Now, don't ask me to change partners. I will do no such thing. We'll talk more about this next week. Class is dismissed — don’t forget about your paper due on Tuesday!”

Y/N watched as the class got up from their seats, her shoulders slumped dejectedly. Quickly, she stood, walking to the door and pushed the assignment quickly out of her head. But once reaching the door, a Slytherin knocked into her. His hands were pushed out, causing her books and notes to sprawl over the floor as he scoffed down.

“Sorry,” she groans out, “I didn’t mean —”

“Watch where you’re going, stupid Muggle.” With a sharp turn, Crabble walked away with a nasty smile.

Sirius had seen the entire ordeal go down, finding himself stuck at a crossroad; it took all the effort in the world to prevent himself from walking straight up to the boy, hexing him beyond belief, but casting a glance at her, struggling to process what just happened caused him to reassess his thoughts. Instead, he took a deep inhale, noting to himself to take care of that later, and strode towards her, dropping down as he picked up her books, shoving them neatly into her bag while collecting any loose sheet of parchment.

“You okay?” He asked with a voice so gentle it could have been mistaken for a whisper. He turned his head upwards to look at her.

Her eyes were foggy, a faraway look in them, completely in shock.

Sirius wasn’t sure what compelled him to, but his hand reached over, picking up her hand delicately in reassurance. His thumb stroked over her soft skin and helped to pull her to her feet.

The touch broke Y/N out of her daze; the physical contact caused both students to have a fuzzy, odd feeling settling at the pit of their stomachs. 

His touch was so soft, so gentle despite his eyes brimming with rage that almost seemed feral.

But, she hardly noticed it as she nodded weakly, jaw clenched. Her mind reeled, attempting to process her emotions — completely baffled and shocked. It was so sudden she felt like she hadn’t had time to digest the situation. Muggle… the Slytherin used it in such a derogatory manner. A word meant to simply describe her sounded bitter — disgusting and low.

Sirius pulled back quickly, the hand flying straight up to his hair. A thought passed through his head, he wanted to reach out again, but he squashed it for more important manners.

“Are you okay?” He repeated.

“Why are you helping me?” She blurted out before she could stop herself. It was the only coherent thought she had at the moment. Sirius out of all people should be laughing at her, shouldn’t he? Being a Pureblood and all…

The comment and the way her eyes judged him quickly told him all he needed to know. A panged sigh went through him.

“Look,” Sirius grew stiff, “I —” he paused, “I may not particularly like you, but I don’t like blood purist arseholes who push women more.”

With another once over, Sirius checked for any scratches or injuries before calming down. “I can take you to the Hospital Wing. It was a nasty fall.”

She shook her head again. The last thing she wanted was for them to get along only out of pity. Sirius understood, handing over her bag and walked away. She watched as his hand clutched the straps of his bag; his grip was so tight that his knuckles were white. His other hand, the one that he touched her with, flexed several times before curling into a fist.

━━━━━━━━━༻☽༺━━━━━━━━━

Currently, she sat by the window ledge in the common room, writing a letter to her mother. Although, her mother hadn't responded to her letters since December. In fact, her mother had only responded to two of her letters throughout her stay; about six months. It made Y/N bitterly press her lips into a thin line. For once, it’d feel nice for her own mother to prioritize her, to make her feel more important than her work.

Blood-red silk curtains nearly swallowed her whole, letting in the little light from the stars outside. The fireplace and chandelier were lit and she could scarcely make out the familiar figure of messy hair, two tufts sticking out like always, swinging an arm over her shoulders. He whined, “Oi! Evans has been stealing you! I feel like I’ve hardly talked to you the past week!”

“Jealous much?”

“Of course,” he said sarcastically, “Anyway, I, the James Potter, your best friend —" "Right." "— am inviting you on a prank. In or out?”

“In,” she said without hesitation. After the Muggle situation, she would do anything to get it out of her head, even for just a few hours. She immediately got up from her seat, walking out the portrait hole. James threw his invisibility cloak over them.

“What are we doing? Is it Remus’ prank we’re doing now?”

James turned to her, his eyebrows deep in confusion. “He told you about that? He hardly tells us before the day of the execution. Anyway, anything you want.”

“Anything I want? What about your boy band?”

He looked over to her in confusion, sliding out a small bag filled with both of their favourite snacks, tossing it to her. “Not coming, just us. Although Remus is on patrol tonight and his mini-gift to you — or er — us, he’s making sure that the Gryffindor and Slytherin floors are cleared from teachers. Should go off without a hitch. So, I’ll ask you again, what do you have in mind?”

“Pranking the Slytherins,” she said without a pause which caused James to grin.

“Atta girl! Learning from the best!”

The prank itself was small in comparison to the prank she helped with on Halloween. Y/N decided on having the prank in the Great Hall for everyone to see. James produced about a dozen dungbombs from his bag, setting it under the Slytherin table and placing a timer on it, ready to be set off in the morning.

But she insisted on the one Slytherin from earlier. Crabble, was it? She asked James to help her give him a little bit more misery than the others. They placed a dozen hexes and jinxes on his usual seat: hair lost jinx, jelly legs, horn tongue hex, Engorgio, twitchy ears, bedazzling hex —

Right now was not the time for Y/N to forgive and forget — revenge was beautiful, fulfilling; she couldn’t wait.

But, their only downfall was that they weren’t on the floors Remus had cleared out for them. So when Mrs. Norris came up to them, only to dash out of the hall, it caused the two pranksters to finalize their escapade before James grabbed her hand and fled the scene.

They ran throughout the empty corridors as the clicking of their shoes echoed throughout the corridor. They were both laughing, smiling brightly. They ran past the Bloody Baron and Nearly Headless Nick, woke up most of the portraits before they heard the vague sound of Filch’s screaming.

“COME BACK HERE!”

“YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO CATCH US!” Y/N shouted, which had James snickering.

He whipped his head around and placed two hands around his mouth to make his statement louder, “YOU MUST BE LOOKING FOR A GALLEON, EH?! RENT BOY!”

After an abundance of sharp twists and turns, passing by countless hallways and secret tunnels, James seized a blank piece of parchment from his back pocket. He muttered a few words, opening it and ran down another set of corridors, through a tunnel and outside of the castle.

“What are you doing?!”

“Just trust me!”

There wasn’t even a moment’s hesitation: Y/N had grown to trust James a long time ago.

They ducked under an overhead from the castle, far away from Filch. Their ragged breaths filled the air before Y/N snatched the parchment from James’ grasp. “What is this?”

A panicked look flashes through James before he reaches over, trying to pry it from her grasp.

“Nu-uh!” She waved in front of her.

He sighed, realizing that he wasn’t going to get it back and that lying was the worst possible option. “You can’t tell anyone — my chaps will have my head if you do —”

“Who do you think I am?! Don’t you trust me?”

“Of course,” he rolled his eyes at her guilt tripping, “It’s a map we all created — er — Moony was the one to create it. He came up with it and did most of the work. Anyway, it tells us where everything and everyone is at every minute of the day.”

On the front, it read in maroon colours of the boy’s code names, Moony at the very front.

Moony — Remus… always a surprise.

James opened it, flicking it open as he pointed to a pair of animated footprints sprinted around the page hurriedly; Filch's name appearing overhead. His name travelled across the paper at a fast pace, running and zigzagging down the halls in the opposite direction. And by the looks of it, Peeves was following him. Above, they could see Remus’ name close to where they used to be, his name moving quickly in what both assumed was him trying to look for them. He must’ve heard the screaming.

It truly was amazing their little map. She marvelled at the classrooms, every hallway, every inch of ground that covered the surrounding area. Passageways, hallways, doors and abandoned classrooms were all there. Although, a few areas were missing. She noticed how the little nook underneath the tapestry nor a large plot of land close to the left-wing of the castle had yet to be mapped out.

“I proudly present the Marauder’s map.” James boasts.

Her face scrunched up, “You mean the stalking map — perv.”

James faked an offended expression, a hand came to clutch his heart. “I was raised to be a gentleman!”

“Sure thing.”

He was about to make another joke before his face slowly fell upon realization, “Wait, really? Is that why Lily doesn’t like me?” He tugged down on his hair in distress, his eyes looking as if they were to pop out any second. “Do women think I’m perving around?!”

Y/N chortled, prying the map from his hands and slipped back into the castle while having a panicked James follow, completely freaking out in the background, spurting out concern after concern.

She followed the map, walking over to Remus who stood underneath a large painting. He escorted them back to the common room to prevent them from getting any possible detentions and not needing the invisibility cloak. But James continued to babble on about his (alleged and false) creepy behaviour, his emotions spiking while Remus watched the two.

“Okay,” he sighed, observing James have a meltdown as he clung to Y/N’s arm, spewing apologies if he had ever crossed a line. “What did you do? You broke him.”

"Nothing.” 

He didn’t question it but his nostrils flared as he attempted to press his lips in a thin line, his face going as red as Lily’s hair.

[hypmicdaydreams]

Hellooo!! Congrats on 100 followers!! Honestly you deserve more. May i please request for jiro and ichiro helping saburo for his first ever date?? If thats ok with you. Hope you have a great day~~!

Sorry I forgot to add, I'm the one with the saburo date.

Headcanon, fluffy and its female. Sorry to leave 2 asks!!

Haha it's totally fine anon! This was an adorable request aww. I can totally see Saburo shyly asking them for advice after he realized that he has no idea what he's doing. Thank you sm for your kind words and request, and I hope you enjoy 💕

𝗦𝗮𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗼 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲 (𝗳𝘁. 𝗜𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗼 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗝𝗶𝗿𝗼)

-pairing: saburo yamada x f!reader

-genre: fluff, general

considering that this was his first ever date, saburo was rather nervous, though he wouldn’t let that slip through

he was generally confident about everything he did, but this time, he couldn’t help but have a few doubts

saburo seemed more conscious of every decision he made given that he really did like you, not wanting to lose you already. saburo himself didn’t really interact much with others or even care for it, but he was keen on getting along with you

now that you were his girlfriend, it seemed like that you were the only thing on his mind. saburo may be confident at times, but even he was shocked that he managed to land someone like you

he really did want to do his best to leave a good first impression

so he decided to go to the person he knew would give him the best advice: his older brother ichiro

he didn’t know the first thing about dates or what people even thought was a good one, so saburo decided that ichiro should be able to help given that he was older and therefore wiser

ichiro definitely was excited for saburo’s date, maybe even more than him to an extent. he wanted him to have the most fun imaginable, so ichiro tried his best to give suggestions (he most likely teared up at the thought of them growing up so fast)

ichiro hadn’t been on many dates given how busy he seemed to be as of late, so i can totally see him throw out ideas based on what he’s seen from his anime or light novels

none of them particularly interested saburo, however, since he wasn’t really a romantic, but he still listened rather intently and took mental notes. even if the ideas weren’t appealing to him personally, if that’s what was considered a ‘decent’ date then well...

a nice stroll through the park sounded nice or even a date at the nearest café. honestly, saburo preferred to keep it a bit lowkey, not wanting to be too over the top and startle you

and of course, when jiro saw him talking to ichiro, he just had to join in on the fun, though anything he suggested went in one ear and out the other for saburo

it kinda seemed like jiro and ichiro were at odds as to what saburo should plan for this date (jiro would always backtrack and agree with ichiro in the end however), so preparing with his two older brothers was disastrous to say the least

“you totally got to take her to the latest movie bro, take it from me. when it gets dark, you can hold her hand or even wrap your arm around her shoulder!”

“really? i think saburo should take her to the nearest park. the weather will be nice, and the flowers would be blooming”

“um, yeah, exactly what you said ichiro! the park would be way better than some boring ol’ movie”

at the end, saburo was left feeling more confused than before he had asked. should he take you to the park or a movie? should he dress casually? slight formal wear? should he act like himself? should he even talk about his interests or let you lead the convo? (all things both jiro and ichiro disagreed on)

dating was way too difficult

even if saburo didn’t show it, his brothers (aka ichiro)  could sense that he seemed more nervous now than before. it was honestly a bit adorable how saburo really did want to make this date special, not wanting to admit that it’d genuinely upset him if even anything minor went wrong

they’ve never seen saburo so invested in someone, and well, they did want to help him any way they can. he was still their little brother after all

at the end, the two did leave him some words of assurance:

“saburo, just be yourself and everything will come naturally.” ichiro’s hand on his shoulder sure did feel comforting, and his words seemed to have struck a chord within him

“yeah man. even if you are annoying at times, i’m sure you’ll do fine if you just do what you normally do”

wow, even jiro was being nice to him. saburo really must’ve been out of it

their words did mean a lot to him, however, and they definitely did calm him down right before his date. saburo really was thankful to have two older brothers to look towards for advice

(the two certainly did stalk both you and saburo, though saburo pretended not to notice just to satisfy them)

[hauntedbythefanficsofmypast]

When you need a Superfriend

By Nach0Ava

On Archive of Our Own

Tumblr user: @nach0ava

So I have not really watched Supergirl however when I read the first chapter I had to share this with you all! This is the first chapter by Nach0Ava. (Second chapter is on its way as well!) Marinette gets sent away by her parents to America! Please go read Nach0Ava's story!

Summary:

When Tom and Sabine believe Lila's lies, they send Marinette off to live with an old family friend in National City. When living with a government agent and a physiologist, how long is it until she gets figured out?

Chapter 1:

“I don’t understand! Why are you sending me away?”

Marinette looked up at her parents in disbelief. They had just told her that she was going to be sent to live with a family friend. In America! Sure, she could speak fairly good English, but it still didn’t make sense!

“Your recent behaviour has led us to think that the change could be good for you. Kelly and her girlfriend Alex are lovely people, and they might be better equipped to deal with you than we are.”

As her mother spoke, Marinette felt a bitterness rise in her. Of course. Lila. She had made good on her threat, managing to turn even her parents against her. Claiming that she was involved in a gang, she had an older boyfriend, she did drugs, the list went on. And when Tom and Sabine had caught Marinette out past curfew one too many times, they took it as the truth. She couldn’t tell them that she was Ladybug, so all she had was half-hearted excuses. Still, she needed a way to stay in Paris, as she couldn’t be Ladybug somewhere else, and if there was no Ladybug, there was no-one to catch the akuma, and no-one to cast the cure, never mind all her guardian duties…

She was getting off track. She had a goal and she needed to accomplish it. Just like taking down an akuma. Except she couldn’t hit this problem really hard for it to go away.

“Is there any way I could stay in Paris? I’ll switch schools, I’ll go live with grandpa Roland, I’ll do anything!”

Tom and Sabine exchanged a look. They didn’t want to believe it, but they had to make sure.

“Honey, calm down, aren’t you worried about an akuma?”

Marinette started pacing as she rambled, mostly to herself.

“Right, I’ll get upset, then you guys will get mad at me, and then one or both of you will be akumatised and then I’ll have that whole mess to deal with.”

Tom reached out a hand to her shoulder to stop her pacing.

“You aren’t worried about you getting akumatised?”

Marinette shook her head.

“No no, I’ll be fine.”

A slight push from her bag and the looks from her parents made her backtrack.

“I mean, I’m really good at calming down before they get to me, I mean, it’s worked so far right?”

She let out a nervous chuckle while her parents stared at her.

“Marinette… Are you working with Hawkmoth?”

Marinette looked for the start of a smile from her mum, the laughter in her dad’s eyes, anything to say they were joking. When the just kept staring she burst into laughter.

“Haha, you guys… You guys really thought… Haha, that’s hilarious!”

Her parents failed to see the humour and gave her thatlook.

“Remember all those times I’ve been attacked? Reflekta, Horificator, pretty much any akuma that clones or traps people I’ve gotten tangled up in.”

Not technically a lie, she never said she got hitspecifically, but she definitely got attacked.

“Well, maybe you should get out of Paris anyway. It’s clearly not safe here, and maybe it’s best for you to leave. You’ll like it in National City, they even have their own superheros!”

Great. A reminder of what I have to give up because of Lila. She was about to keep protesting, but she felt three quick pushed on her side by Tikki. We need to talk.Her argument died on her tongue and she sighed.

“When am I meant to leave?”

Her parents exchanged relived looks.

“The plane is booked for next Friday. That gives you about a week to pack up. We could mail over a box with all of your sewing things once you get settled, if Kelly and Alex are ok with it of course.”

Marinette fought the eyebrow that was threating to raise. A week? I was hoping for some more time to test and train a new guardian, and a new holder for Tikki. It would be a rush, and there weren’t many people she trusted anymore. Still, there was work to be done, so she had to get started.

“I guess I’ll go start packing then. Can I be un-grounded so I can spend my final week saying goodbye and sorting things out?”

Her parents nodded, glad she was taking this so well.

“Of course honey, just not tonight ok? It’s getting rather late.”

Marinette nodded and ran up to her room, shutting the trapdoor quickly. She went up onto her bed and starting crying into her pillow, feeling the weight of all the kwami comforting her. Eventually she rolled on to her back, drying her tears.

“I’m sorry Tikki, you said you wanted to talk?”

She looked at her expectantly. Marinette already knew what Tikki wanted. She needed to find a new wielder and Guardian, and she shouldn’t have been putting it off, but sometimes it felt good to cry. Tikki came to settle on her lap and patted her leg comfortingly.

“Marinette I know what you’re thinking, and you don’t have to give up being Ladybug or being Guardian. So you better stop that train of thought right now missy.”

Marinette sat up, blinking. How could she… Oh.

“I’m an idiot.”

Tikki giggled while she flew up and booped her nose, while Kaalki sniffed from the corner.

“I can’t believe you forgot about me Guardian. You’ve given me out before!”

Marinette giggled at the kwami’s haughty attitude.

“Sorry Kaalki, I got a bit too emotional to think clearly.”

Kaalki just grabbed a sugar cube with a huff and flew off. Marinette climbed off her bed and grabbed her bright pink suitcase.

“So who wants to help me pack?”

~~<3~~

Chloe, Kagami, Luka and Marinette were all sitting at a table at a café during their lunch break. Luka had graduated already, so he was usually free to hang out. Chloe had come up to Marinette not too long after Lila’s takeover with an apology. Marinette had been wary at first, but Chloe was actually really nice when she wasn’t putting up an act. She had soon proven herself and had been given another chance at being a hero, under the new name Honeybee. Kagami had approached her after Adrien had asked for advice on the Lila situation. She had hated his passive approach, and when she had tried to talk to him about it, he just refused her help, ignoring the fact that he had asked for her help. Kagami had come to offer her help, and they become friends soon after. She had re-claimed the dragon, under the new name Tempête. Luka had heard Lila’s heart song and immediately knew that was someone that he didn’t want to hang around. He had tried warning Juleka and the rest of Kitty Section, but Lila had told them that having an older singer wasn’t a good look. He had been kicked out, and Marinette had been there to comfort him with pastries and musicals. After she had introduced everyone to each other, they had become a tightly knit group. So, as one could imagine, they weren’t taking this well.

“They gave you a week? That’s ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!”

Kagami made a noise of displeasure as well.

“Sending you to America seems a bit extreme, what reason did they give again?”

Marinette scoffed.

“My ‘recent behaviour’ or something like that. Also known as, Lila. Oh, that’s not even the best part.”

Marinette gave out a dry chuckle and everyone looked on in interest.

“Apparently, I’m working with Hawkmoth.”

Luka plucked a string on his guitar, sending out a loud note. Chloe just stared in disbelief, and Kagami made for her foil.

“I’m going to run them through with my sword.”

Kagami gripped it tightly, ready to get up and make good on her threat, but Marinette grabbed it from her, unbothered by the fencer’s unimpressed glare.

“No-one is stabbing anyone. I don’t really have a choice, so I just have to suck it up and deal with it. Besides, it could be good to get away from Lila.”

Chloe was the first to get up to give her a hug, followed by Luka, and then by Kagami, who Marinette wasn’t completely sure that she wasn’t just trying to get her sword back.

“It’ll be ok guys, we can still video chat through Skype or something. I won’t be able to text, because I’ll be on an American phone plan, but we can figure something out!”

Chloe pulled away and took out her phone, tapping away immediately.

“I’m going to get you an amazing phone plan, with unlimited overseas. Same for the rest of you. That way, we can all talk and not worry about the fact that there’ll be an ocean dividing us.”

Marinette slowly took the phone and added it to her slowly growing pile, pointedly ignoring the glare Chloe shot her.

“I’m sure there are other, free, ways to contact each other. I think there’s an online service, what’s the name in English? Chaos or something like that?”

Luka strummed at his guitar in thought before pulling up an app on his phone.

“Is this the one you were thinking of?”

He had opened Discord, in dark mode of course, and had his profile open.

“Yeah, that’s the one! We can talk on there, and it has the bonus of being accessible from computers! So, no reason to go overboard, ok Chloe?”

Chloe humped and opened up the app store, downloading Discord. Kagami noticed what she was doing and mirrored her. They all took a few minutes to make accounts and become friends, before Luka, the one with the most experience, had set up a server for them all. Quickly choosing nicknames, Marinette pocketed her phone with a grin.

“Now that that’s done, anyone want to come help me pick some things to take?”

~~<3~~

It felt like the week passed quickly, lessons passing by in a blur. She didn’t pay much attention, just enough to keep Mrs Bustier satisfied. She didn’t bother alerting anyone in the class (outside of Chloe) that she was leaving, ignoring their taunts and insults. Chloe and Kagami had been big helps in learning how to ignore them, so now they rolled off her like water on a duck. She made sure not to bring anything valuable, most of her stuff was in a suitcase anyway. On her final day, she only had her schoolbooks, the school assigned tablet, and three neatly wrapped gifts. As she was packing up to go meet her friends for a final goodbye, she was stopped by Alya.

“I need you to make a dress for the upcoming school dance.”

Marinette briefly noted that this was a demand, rather than a request, but she just started her usual commission speech with a sigh.

“Depending on the materials used and the time it takes to make, the dress could cost anywhere from €300 to €500. There will also be shipping costs, plus the fact I’m not taking commissions right now, so it will probably be a few weeks before I might be able to get started on it.”

Alya was staring at Marinette like she had grown another head.

“€300, what are you talking about? I’m not paying youfor a dress, and you make mine every year, so what’s the problem? I can’t wait a few weeks, the dance is next weekend!”

Marinette sighed and pushed past the taller girl.

“The problem is that I don’t have time, materials are expensive, and I made you those dresses when we were friends. But we’re not now. So, leave me alone. Goodbye Alya.”

She walked out to meet her friends, leaving Alya behind, too stunned to talk. When she snapped out of it, she grumbled to herself.

“She’ll see reason on Monday. She has no right to refuse after all she’s done to Lila! Maybe if she makes Lila’s dress too, she’ll forgive her! Lila’s nice like that, Marinette will come around after making up for everything she’s done!”

Alya walked away, satisfied, planning her new dress in her mind.

Marinette ran up to her friends, engulfing them in hugs. They all hugged right back, sad to see her go. Marinette suddenly pulled away from the hug, and grabbed three parcels out of her bag. She handed them all out, urging them to open them. Luka opened his first, finding a beanie that perfectly matched his hair, with a teal snake pattern around the rim. Chloe went next, her patience not holding any longer. She got a headband with tiny bees embroidered all along it. Kagami received a red handkerchief, with an elemental dragon on one side, and a storm cloud on the other, a lightning strike going all the way across. They all started to thank her at once, with Marinette just blushing sheepishly.

“I just took note of all your favourite heroes, and added them to a design. It’s not that big of a deal.”

They all hugged again, before the clock chimed behind them, making Marinette jump.

“I have to go! I’ll send you all a message when I land, but you better not stay up for it if it’s late here!”

A chorus of “No promises!” filled her ears as she ran home, taking in the sights one more time. She burst into the bakery to find her mum still working the counter, and her dad busy baking. Not thinking much of it, she went up to her room to grab her belongings. After some quick cuddles from the kwami, she had everything she needed. Most flew into the suitcase, comfy in the hidden area Marinette had made, lined with a soft faux fur. Only Tikki and Kaalki flew into her jacket, ready to transform if need be. They had assured her they wouldn’t show up on the x-ray, so she was fine with having them in there. As she lifted her suitcase and went downstairs, her strength from being Ladybug shining through, she was surprised to see her parents still busy at work.

“Maman, Papa, I thought we were going to the airport now?”

Her parent’s exchanged looks before Tom stopped his baking and walked over.

“Honey, we can’t afford to come with you, we need to keep the bakery open. There’s an Uber outside for you, but you’ll have to go on your own. I’m sorry.”

He pulled her into a hug, one she half-heartedly returned. She walked over to hug her mum as well, and went outside with her suitcase.

This was it.

She was really being sent away.

All because of some dumb liar.

With a comforting press coming from inside her jacket, she got in the Uber, prepared to start her new life.

[tanoraqui]

Grave dirt baby... 🥺✨

me, procrastinating my actual fic? no... GRAVE DIRT BABY A-YUAN

HEY TUMBLR FUCKED UP ALL MY BULLET POINTS ON THIS THE SECOND I HIT POST BUT IT’S 4AM SO I’M LEAVING IT UP ANYWAY. STUPID GODDAMN WEBSITE.

Wei Wuxian has been in the Burial Mounds for like 2.5 months out of what he doesn’t yet know will be about 3. He’s not even sure he’s going to survive yet. But he has managed to manifest an evil sword - the evil sword - out of the aether/ambient resentful energy/an attunement set with an unwise touch in the belly of an evil turtle

and he does know that he’s not going to survive if he doesn’t get the power of the Burial Mounds under some sort of control

so he cuts his arm and with blood running down the blade, draws something adjacent to the first demon-summoning flag but as an array in the dirt. He stands in the middle and - keep in mind that he more or less hasn’t slept in 2.5 months - plunges the sword into the center, still coated in his blood, and draws in all the resentful energy of the Burial Mounds

was it supposed to go into the sword? Into himself? Into just the single 4ft diameter array area, a column of bound death? who knows, not Wei Wuxian! it’s pure gut instinct

u know what else works on gut instinct, thought? Fairy tales.

And in a fairy tale, why, clay of the earth plus iron enough for a blade plus still-warm blood to show the way...

There’s an implosion and Wei Wuxian is standing - somehow still standing - in a small crater where the array used to be, and his evil sword is plunged into the belly of a baby

He yanks it out in horrified reflex, and realizes a moment later that the baby seems unfazed by this. If there was even a wound, it closes before his eyes, and the glimpse he had showed something more bloody clay than flesh beneath the skin

the iron sword crumbles as he pulls it away, as though rusted a thousand years. the baby turns its head from the iron shavings that falls on it, but then reaches up for Wei Wuxian with a cheerfully demanding cry

he picks it up, of course. (he’d think he was hallucinating if he wasn’t absolutely and utterly aware that he’s not)

it is, as far as he can tell, with physical and spiritual resentful inspection, an absolutely normal baby

oh, except when he looks really closely. Then he can sense the neutron star–dense knot of resentful energy where a golden core might (but will definitely not have room to) form. Also, it can command the dead, and when he holds it, so can he. He’s not sure if it’s a proximity-based power share or if he’s passing his desires through the baby, but even Wei Wuxian, at about 3 months with no food save the rage of the dead and no rest save the promise of final release, has to stop investigating at some point. He has things to do!

specifically, he has Wens to kill

so instead of the iconic shot of the dark flautist in the moonlight, we get the dark, uh...man singing a very spooky lullaby to his baby in the moonlight. It is still deeply creepy. It’s a making-it-up-as-he-goes tune based on a Yunmengi lullaby that he certainly learned from neither of his foster parents, and the lyrics are along the lines of, “let them remember what they did, sweet little potato, let them remember why they’re dying”

yeah he’s been calling this child “Little Potato” for 2 weeks 

why

is that not how you name a child

sometimes when he’s more annoyed at it, he calls it “Little Radish”, or even less appetizing root vegetables

by the time he walks in, the baby is asleep in his arms and he’s not singing anymore, just letting the dead do his will. This is what Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji see. The subsequent conversation, Wen Chao and Wen Zhuliu at their feet, goes like this:

LWJ: Wei Ying. You have a baby.

WWX: Oh, uh...

PLAY DUMB!

WWX: What baby?

NOT THAT DUMB!

WWX: Oh, this baby! Haha yeah. I...found it.

JC: What the fuck

WWX: Yeah, weird, right? Right near the, uh...

LWJ: They said you were in the Burial Mounds

WWX: Yyyyup. Yes that is. I found this baby by the side of the road after I walked out of the Burial Mounds.

JC, briefly too morbidly fascinated to think about either the demonic cultivation they just watched or the fact that he wants to hug his brother like he’s never wanted to hug another being in his life: What did you name it?

WWX: ....

JC, desire to hug intensifying together with exasperation: oh my god

Sometime in the next couple days - after sleeping a bit, maybe - it occurs to Wei Wuxian that his raw instincts were right and things will go very badly for little A-Yuan (his siblings insisted he name it) if anyone finds out that he’s a not-yet-walking, not-yet-talking little neuron star of resentful energy. So he takes the iron shavings that are all that remain of the Stygian Turtle Sword and forges them into a Tiger-shaped Seal. He also carves a bamboo flute, like he’d been thinking about before the whole...baby thing. He loudly proclaims both to be dark and terrible weapons

(it really is helpful. The sword was...kind of A-Yuan’s other parent, after all, in addition to their third partner, the Burial Mounds. Chenqing gives him finer control of whatever stray resentful energy he chooses to pick up, and the Stygian Seal lets him channel A-Yuan’s power at need, even when not touching him. Which is good - a battlefield is no place for a baby)

even if that baby thinks ghosts and ghouls exist to pick him up and rock him or toss him around (babies like to be tossed)

Wei Wuxian puts so many goddamn spirit-repelling charms on that child, and lets it be marked down to the paranoia of a survivor

using whatever resentful energy he picks up is generally more effective, actually. Less strong, but it quickly becomes clear that the way this works does, in fact, involve Wei Wuxian communicating his desires through A-Yuan, or at least A-Yuan has to put up with the loan of power. There’s nothing quite like abruptly losing control of a field of corpses because the baby got abruptly uncooperative with anything that wasn’t barfing

the baby does eat, for the record. As far as Wei Wuxian can tell, he doesn’t actually need to, but once WWX fed him once, when they first left the Mounds, he wanted it all the time

he still takes A-Yuan with him when he can. That is the paranoia of a survivor. A-Yuan is...

“A battlefield is no place for a baby, A-Xian,” Jiang Yanli says gently, as he sets out from Carp Tower after another stolen visit, another failed attempt to convince Jin Guangshan off his ass. “And you are...so busy. LanlingJin takes in orphans, you know...”

“A-Yuan...he’s my blood,” Wei Wuxian says quietly. He’s never been good at lying to his shijie

Whatwherewhenhowwho, he’d see on her face if he was looking at it. But he isn’t. It’s not shame, though, she can see (it really never is, with Wei Wuxian). Fear of disappointing her, slight resignation...but mostly acceptance. Determination. Something almost like contentment.

(When Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangj first took him back to whatever resembled a base camp - somewhere in Qinghe, probably, or maybe Lanling - he had to let a trained healer look at A-Yuan, physical and spiritual examination, and he held his breath and calculated how many people he’d have to kill to get out of here, how fast he’d have to move to not hurt his brother or any particular friends; thought, oh, he’s mine, in a way he hadn’t before - as a child, a son, not just a very strange weapon - 

“He’s quite healthy,” said the doctor, mildly surprised, bouncing A-Yuan on one knee. A-Yuan gurgled happily. “About three months old?”

the longer Wei Wuxian took to answer, the more disapproving her stare got. But that did make sense)

Then all else can be dealt with later. “You should still leave him here,” Jiang Yanli says firmly. “You need to look after yourself and A-Cheng out there. I can look after A-Yuan.”

It takes a bit under two years to win back the lost and burnt territories, scour the Wens out of every crevice, corner Wen Ruohan in his precious Nightless City and bring it tumbling down. Nobody will know the timing but A-Yuan sleeps through the final battle, smiling at dreams that would make a grown man weep in horror. Somewhere, his father is playing a lullaby

About a week later, Jiang Cheng stalks into Wei Wuxian’s bedroom, which he shares with A-Yuan. One of the first rooms rebuilt in the new Lotus Pier. A-Yuan is there, too, playing with blocks while Wei Wuxian idly drafts talismans

“A-jie said the kid is yours,” he says, crossed arms. “Like, yours-yours. When the fuck did you do that?”

(Wei Wuxian has thought about this, by now; gone over the pros and cons of every possibility, the politics and potentials and maybe even the giddy possibility of telling something like the truth)

(the guiding principle is: he has no interest in drawing on the “Stygian Tiger Seal” ever again. The Sunshot Campaign is over. His loved ones are safe, and he sees no reason why they shouldn’t all live long, happy, normal lives)

(also/though, he will burn Jin Sect, Carp Tower, and all of Lanling to the ground before the new Chief Cultivator should touch his son)

“In Caiyi,” he lies. “Right before I got kicked out. I, uh, snuck out a lot more often than you noticed.”

His brother squints at him suspiciously. But Wei Wuxian can also watch him do the math in his head and reluctantly admit that it works.

“So are you claiming him or what?” he challenges. “’Wei Yuan’? You have a courtesy name - wait, no, you are not naming that kid again. You’re going to make his courtesy name be Carrothead or something.” 

“Should I let you pick it, oh wise and noble shidi - no, shushu?!” Wei Wuxian teases, as A-Yuan gets tired of his blocks and starts climbing up him like a jungle gym

Jiang Cheng sighs like the north wind - gusting long and hard, with just the faintest chill to suggest that the skies will be weeping, soon

But...

Despite some evidence to the contrary, Wei Wuxian is generally fully aware of when he’s about to cross a line that cannot be backtracked over. So he meets Wen Qing in the city, and before going to Lanling, he nips into Lotus Pier and picks up A-Yuan

He might leave A-Yuan with Wen Qing in the city when he goes to Glamour Hall, but Qiongqi Pass happens with a toddler watching silently from Wei Wuxian’s hip. Does Wei Wuxian tell him to look away, bury his face in baba’s shirt, or does he not bother, knowing the sort of song that makes up A-Yuan’s sweet dreams?

The Wens become the second through 51st or so people who learn what A-Yuan is. Wei Wuxian briefly considers trying to hide it, but, honestly, there are dead things everywhere on the Burial Mounds, and despite his genuine efforts, he cannot convince A-Yuan that a fierce corpse is anything but the ideal patty-cake companion. (They’ll play with him for hours! It’s a two-nearly-three-year-old’s dream!)

(he doesn’t want to convince him, not really. The last thing he wants to do ever is give A-Yuan anything to be scared of)

nor could he possibly wish that A-Yuan not be...obviously hale and hearty, running rosy-cheeked and strong around these hills of death that slowly seep the energy from any humans, animals, or even sturdy root crops

“So, uh, this is actually my demon baby,” said Wei Wuxian as they all settled in

“this day has been so weird already, this might as well goddamn happen”, said the Wens collectively

“You created a living child out of dead earth, so I’m going to take that as a yes that you can bring my brother back,” said Wen Qing specifically

“...fuck. I mean, yes. I mean - fuck,” said Wei Wuxian. “I- of course I will.”

(it doesn’t work like that, though)

The 52nd person to find out what A-Yuan is is Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian very much does not tell him. They have a pleasant toy-shopping trip and lunch in town, and then the alarm talisman goes off and Wei Wuxian grabs A-Yuan and Lan Wangji tugs them both onto Bichen and when they arrive, Wen Ning is roaring. Lan Wangji knows what’s important; he takes A-Yuan so Wei Wuxian’s hands are free and he doesn’t have to worry about his son

except Wen Ning, black-eyed with rage, throws Wei Wuxian into a tree hard enough to crack a rib, and even as Lan Wangji raises Bichen, A-Yuan shouts,

“Uncle Ning, stop!”

and Wen Ning stops

(as a rule, Wei Wuxian can’t take over with himself and Chenqing anything A-Yuan is controlling, unless A-Yuan lets him, and vice versa. To eliminate variables, Wei Wuxian had made sure that any reins on Wen Ning were his (Wei Wuxian’s) alone. But in that moment, before Wen Ning came fully back to himself, his reins were swinging free - and they were back within the bounds of the Burial Mounds, where A-Yuan was always strong)

and Lan Wangji puts several pieces together at once and prays to every single god in heaven and every ancestor he’s disappointing right now that this was a miracle of love and a very cute child piercing through a fierce corpse’s mindless rampage. That he simply...hallucinated the burst of resentful energy he just felt from the child in his arms

but he’s absolutely, utterly aware that he didn’t

Wei Wuxian explains, stilted and awkward at the bottom of the hill. Challenging and terrified. Holding on to A-Yuan. 

Lan Wangji promises to keep the secret. 

Wei Wuxian takes Hanguang-jun’s word

Remember, oh, remember, that Wei Wuxian walks A-Yuan back up the hill until A-Yuan gets tired and Wei Wuxian picks him up, on their one-and-a-half–man plank bridge through the dark. Remember remember remember that before he can finish speaking that line, there is light - the clearing is lit with lanterns and secret-keepers 2 through 51, and I suppose 53 now that Wen Ning is awake, are waiting with dinner and warmth and welcome. Reader, remember this.

But then...

Aunt Qing and Uncle Ning had gone, and then, with a terrible expression on his face, so had A-Yuan’s baba. Now his baba’s anger and sadness is so strong that the weight of it makes A-Yuan cry from hundreds of miles away, and he curls into Granny’s arms and sends his baba everything he can. Will everything be okay, then? Will everyone come home; will they be able to smile again?

(oh, A-Yuan...)

(No.)

A-Yuan - Wei Yuan, Little Potato (when he’s good for baba or bad for Aunt Qing) or Little Radish (inverse); one day to be Lan Yuan, Lan Sizhui - was born in the good old fairy tale way of earth and iron and blood. It’s a hard thing for any child to lose even a single parent - in one day, in one minute, A-Yuan loses two of three, as the father of his blood burns away in hand the last shreds of Stygian iron, and promptly loses control of his own resentful energy

(the Tiger Seal does nothing like explode, in this world. It was never more than a prop - but a vital one. the benefit of proving it destroyed would be worth the loss of a parent, if only a second didn’t follow on its heels)

A-Yuan has been a dead thing (or close enough) come to life all his life, and both dead and living have been his friends and family. But he’s never felt the transition the other way: from life to death

It’s no wonder, really, that he can’t remember it afterward. No wonder that even on the land that was the last part of him, he was feverish and barely conscious when Lan Wangji stumbled, bleeding, off of Bichen, and took in his arms. No wonder that he remembered very little at all, including the dead. 

But he would be okay. Under physical and spiritual inspection, he’s a perfectly normal boy. He may not be able to form a golden core (there's something in the way), but there are...workarounds. He’ll grow up in one of the most heavily spiritually warded enclaves in the world, safe and loved as he relearns (mostly in secret) what he can do

(For the sake of this story, and A-Yuan’s survival as something close to canon, let’s say there are some truly dark things in the forbidden section of the Lan Library, that could only be used for nefarious purposes - though, I suppose we already knew that. Let’s say there are talismans that will disguise the very nature of qi, so resentful energy may appear spiritual. Let’s say, Lan Xichen becomes the 53rd to know the truth, because his brother needs help - and it’s Wei Wuxian’s child, okay? It’s just Wei Wuxian’s child, quiet and unsure rather than laughing as he always was. If you were in the inner circle of leaders of the Sunshot Campaign, you have absolutely met this child, probably held him and bounced him on one knee)

(What keeps Lan Xichen up at night isn’t the concealing amulet he helped his brother make, which Lan Yuan wears at all times around his neck. It’s the silence he keeps every time he meets Jiang Wanyin’s eyes over a diplomatic table. If anyone had the right to know Wei Yuan survived... But Sandu Sengshou killed Wei Wuxian, everyone knows that, and now he hunts demonic cultivators - what might his pride drive him to do to his nephew, if he ever learned the truth? (Selfishly, Lan Xichen know that if Lan Wangji lost A-Yuan, even just to living at Lotus Pier, Lan Xichen might lose his brother. That fear ebbs with time passing, but the the longer he hasn’t spoken, the worse it would be to do so...))

They don’t restrict Lan Yuan to the Cloud Recesses, no more than any other novice. For memory of their mother, neither of them could bear that. Jiang Cheng does eventually see him at a conference, and stops dead. Years have passed, but that is an entire goddamn nephew, right there. But - how? No, it can’t be. That’s...everyone knows Lan Wangji hated Wei Wuxian. It’s just...and someone would have told him. The Lans value propriety above all, after all.

Anything that can be done with spiritual cultivation can be done with demonic cultivation, save heal. Lan Sizhui makes up for it with an encyclopedic knowledge of undead and monsters, and a prodigal talent for Inquiry

On their first night hunt, the young juniors face ghosts. Unfortunately, this is when Lan Jingyi learns that he’s terrified of ghosts. He’s hiding behind Lan Sizhui and panic is contagious, and the senior accompanying them is in a different room of the abandoned house, and Lan Sizhui forgets that he���s holding a sword and just shouts, “Stop! Go away!” 

the ghost, of course, obeys

Lan Jingyi peeks out form behind him. “Did- did you do that?”

“I don’t know,” Lan Sizhui admits (except that he’s absolutely sure he did)

There’s another flicker of movement, just the wind blowing ashes but Jingyi whips around with wild eyes. “Can you do it again?”

[friendship. my point is, he’s a demon baby but he has family and friends who love and accept him.]

And one day, some absolute fucking morons are going to bring him back home, where he can never be anything but strong, and threaten his friends and family? And the threat is an army of his old playmates, commanded by an attempt at recreating some combination of Chenqing and the Tiger Seal? He couldn’t manage it in Yi City, but now A-Yuan, Wei Yuan, Lan Sizhui stands on earth that has never stopped being part of him, or maybe he’s never stopped being part of it. If he closed his eyes he could feel every foot on it, living and restless dead. And they’re threatening his baba - who he remembers, as the earth remembers its old partner, even though the blood is changed - and his father Hanguang-jun, and his extended family and friends?

No.

[mysticm3ss]

a new home | jumin x fem!mc

words: 1.8k

warnings: references to covid-19. also inaccuracies probably, idk how south korea is handling the outbreak, i’m just using my own experiences bc that’s what i know and writing this was more of a therapy for me than anything else.

summary: you’re staying with jumin during the covid-19 quarantine. he’s down. you comfort him. that’s it folks

i never ever thought i’d be writing a jumin fic without a prompt but i had a dream last night and it made me hella soft for this man so i had to write about it! apologies if his characterisation feels off at all, i don’t normally write much for jumin.

__________

“Thank you so much for letting me stay, Jumin… with everything happening, I… I don’t think I can handle being totally alone when we go into lockdown. Are you absolutely sure I’m not imposing?” 

Jumin hums in amusement at your fretting, shaking his head. “I’m certain. I’d never wish for you to feel so lonely indefinitely, MC. You’re more than welcome to stay until all of this blows over, and for as long as you’d like afterwards. Besides,” he reasons, “it might be nice to have some company.”

“You’ll never know how much I appreciate it,” you sigh, tension draining from your shoulders as you set your suitcase at the foot of the spare bed. It’s covers are dark blue, sleek, not a hint of lint clinging to the soft fabric. 

“It’s nothing. Make yourself at home—you’re welcome to anything in the penthouse. We’ve plenty of food, though I’m afraid the chef won’t be able to cook for us until this situation is resolved. My apologies.”

“Oh, Jumin, I assure you, that’s fine. I like cooking, anyway.”

A smile tugs at the corner of Jumin’s lips. “Perhaps you’d allow me to try your cooking at some stage, MC. You’ve got me curious.”

You laugh, and Jumin’s responding smile has your stomach fluttering and your heart melting like warm honey. The amusement reaches his eyes, and their grey depths gleam silver in the soft glow of the bedroom light. You wonder if this is the first genuine smile of his you’ve seen, and you berate yourself for the burning of your cheeks. The mere curve of a mouth shouldn’t elicit such a response—he didn’t even show teeth, for God’s sake…

“I’m sure we’ll have plenty of opportunities for that.” You manage to suppress the tremor in your tone, and your fingers fiddle anxiously at your side, the pad of your thumb rubbing anxious circles against your forefinger.

Jumin chuckles. “I’m sure we will. I’ll allow you to settle—I’ll be in my office, should you need anything.”

As he leaves, you swear you can see the trace of a blush on his cheeks.

Ignoring the unreasonable stammer of your heart, you half-heartedly begin to unpack. Toiletries in the ensuite (is that really a marble bathtub?!), a few clothes in the closet, a sentimental soft toy by your pillow. Floor to ceiling windows look out to the sun dipping below the city, and you watch the few people who dared venture outside scramble to return home, their arms loaded with grocery bags stuffed with toilet paper and non-perishables as the fading light stains them blood red. You’ve never seen the city so quiet.

You jump as something brushes your leg, and you glance down to see Elizabeth the Third rubbing against your ankle. She headbutts your hand as you extend it to her, leaving stray white hairs clinging to your skin. They’re finer than silk, and just as soft.

“She’s lovely, isn’t she?”

Jumin’s voice drips with affection as he scoops up the cat in his arms and sits by your side, the bed dipping beneath his weight. Elizabeth settles into his lap, face buried in his Amarni suit as she purrs contentedly. He strokes her fur with long, slender fingers, and you look up to see his magnetic eyes searching yours for a response.

What was the question, again?

“R-right.”

Jumin smiles again, and it has your knees weak. There’s a reason it’s his face plastered across magazine covers, and not his father’s. 

“Let me cook for you tonight. What would you like?”

“Oh, anything is fine…” you’re quick to assure him. “Whatever you feel like making.”

Jumin considers for a moment, eyes flitting to the window as the last streaks of sunlight fade into darkness, broken by the glittering of city lights. He licks his lips in thought, tongue catching between his teeth. You swallow. Hard.

“I should call the chef and ask for recommendations,” he concludes, nodding to himself. “I’ll leave you be.”

The bed springs up as Jumin gets to his feet, immediately lamenting his absence as he walks to the door. Elizabeth, having moved a few moments ago, blinks slowly at you before stalking after her master, the tip of her tail flicking in contentment as she leaves.

You look back to the city, though your attention is stolen as your phone vibrates in your pocket. Dragging it out, you smile as you see a notification from the messenger, immediately opening it.

707: Hey hey! It’s MC!!

707: I heard from a little birdie that you’re living with Mr. CEO-In-Line!!!

ZEN: She’s what?!

ZEN: MC, you need to leave!! 

ZEN: We’re going into lockdown, you can’t be trapped alone with him and that furball!! 

ZEN: Quick!!

ZEN: Do you need me to come rescue you?!?!

MC: Haha it’s okay, Zen, I decided to stay here for a while. I’d get too lonely trapped in my apartment by myself, and there are some issues with rent…

707: Ooooh, Jumin and MC, sitting in a tree…!

ZEN: MC, you could’ve stayed with me!! I… don’t have much in the fridge, and… the spare room is only small, but…

MC: That’s very sweet of you, Zen, but I’m fine here. I promise.

ZEN: Okay… but if he does anything…

MC: I’ll let you know if I’m uncomfortable, okay? Thanks for looking out for me.

707: Soooo, now that that’s settled… are you sleeping in his room with him…?

You flush at Seven’s insinuation, shaking your head to yourself to clear the onslaught of inappropriate thoughts that had involuntarily clouded your mind.

MC: No!! I’m in a spare bedroom!!! We’re just friends!!

MC: I should go now, anyway. Jumin’s in the living room, I’ll go hang out.

ZEN: Okay… be careful!! Bye, MC!

[ZEN has left the chat room]

707: lol ok have fun lovebirds, get it on you two!!

[707 has left the chat room]

Shaking your head fondly, you set down your phone and get to your feet. Walking to the living room, you pause outside the door at the hard tone of Jumin’s voice.

“Yes, I realise what it looks like, but as I said, the tabloids are not my concern. She’s staying here, arrangements have already been made. As I see it, this is no more an issue to the company than your plethora of lovers. I wish you and your latest both luck in the quarantine.” 

Jumin’s cold tone falls into silence, and you hesitantly step into the room to see Jumin sitting at the edge of the couch, his eyes closed and head tilted down as he shakes it to himself. A heavy breath falls through his nose.

“Is… everything okay?”

He looks up immediately, clearing his throat as he straightens his posture. He smiles demurely, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Yes, of course. I was just speaking to my father… is everything to your liking?”

Chewing your lower lip, you hesitantly take the space next to Jumin. His body radiates warmth, the fresh scent of his cologne wafting in the space between you. From all of your interactions in the messenger, you’d sometimes forgotten that Jumin was a real, flesh and blood human being; warm skin despite the coolness of his tone, with feelings that brewed beneath it, under the expensive suits and shoulders burdened with inherited responsibility.

“Yeah, everything’s great… is everything alright with your father? You seem upset…”

Jumin’s jaw twitches, and his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. “I’m fine,” he replies coolly, an emotionless smile etched over his features. In this moment, he resembles more a mannequin, or perhaps an android, than a human. His face betrays no hint of feeling.

“I know you’re not.”

Jumin falters.

There it is again. That undeniable, profound humanity.

You see it in the tremble of his lip, the swift droop of his eyes, the shaky breath that he tries so hard to contain. The fist he rests on his knee clenches briefly, and you tentatively rest your hand over his.

He stiffens at the skin-to-skin contact, looking at you in vague disbelief as you offer a sympathetic smile. “Talk to me, honey.”

Jumin’s eyes widen at the endearment, and the reply that follows is so soft, so timid, that there’s a pang in your chest at the sound.

“...how?”

You squeeze his hand. “Just… tell me what’s going through your mind. Sometimes it helps to share.”

He hesitates. You backtrack.

“There’s no pressure if you don’t want to… just know that I’m here whenever you do.”

Jumin shakes his head. “It’s not that… I suppose I just… don’t know where to start. All of my thoughts are so… tangled, that… I’m not sure I can unravel them.”

His voice breaks, and so does your heart.

“Jumin… can I hug you?”

His eyes widen again, but eventually, he nods.

Your arms close around him, your grip loose at first, giving him room to pull away should he so choose. He doesn’t. Though his body is stiff at first, he finally sags against you, breathing ragged as his head falls into the crook of your neck, skin on skin, hot and soft. You run your fingers through his hair as you hear Jumin inhale sharply against your shoulder. You feel the heave of his chest, feel his eyes as they squeeze shut, feel his fingertips digging into the softness of your waist as he clings to you helplessly. Idly, you wonder how long it’s been since he’s been held, since he’s been soothed. Your heart aches at the likely answer. You don’t dwell on the thought.

“You’re okay,” you whisper against his temple. “I’m here. It’s okay.”

With another shaky breath, Jumin pulls away. His hair is messed, his suit disheveled, and his eyes alight with a vulnerability that seems so foreign and yet so normal—so painfully human. His breathing comes in soft exhales through his mouth, and his gaze is tender as he drinks in the sight of you, as though he were a parched man and you were fresh rain.

Jumin raises his hand to your cheek, his thumb smoothing over the skin, marveling in the softness and the blush that rises to your cheeks. He doesn’t say anything, simply leans in close. You feel his breath on your lips, and the hairs on your arms rise as his mouth meets yours.

The kiss is slow and a little clumsy; you can feel your heart slamming against your ribs as he draws you in closer, clutching you desperately as he breathes you in. Your hand slides around to lay against his neck, and he continues to cup your cheek, eyes closed as he melts into every movement of your mouth against his. 

When he pulls away, your cheeks are aflame, and his ears are scarlet. 

“My apologies, I shouldn’t have…”

“Don’t apologise.” Your words come as a whisper, though more eager than you’d intended. You’re met with a gentle smile that makes your heart glow, and again, he leans in to kiss you.

__________

thanks for reading! if you made it this far, why not reblog or reply letting me know what you thought? ❤

[shintorikhazumi]

I Have Two Sisters?! Chapter 2: The Eldest Sister, The Younger Sister, and The Youngest

A/N: This chapter is more on Diana and Claudine’s lives and backgrounds. I feel like most of the initial chap plans I have are. Weiss gets her background turn soon tho. She still has some thoughts from her point of view. Some observations. It’s kinda different for her since she’s actually been around Jacques as opposed to Claudine and Diana who have been away from the dude, practically not knowing him at all. Maybe around chapter 4-ish. Rubes, Akko, and Maya come in the next chapter, so I hope you all can hold out until then, haha.

I personally love this concept so much! Like really! I keep writing out plot lines and paragraphs ahead. This is clearly a self-indulgent fic, I apologize.

Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi

 I Have Two Sisters?! Chapter 2: The Eldest Sister, The Younger Sister, and The Youngest

For how shitty he was as a father- and a person in general, Jacques Schnee sure had the devil’s luck. It made perfect sense as he was basically a demon at this point with all that he’s probably done, both known and hidden from the light.

How could someone acquire so much fortune? Riches, intelligence and cunning brought about by his insane amounts of greed, looks (Weiss gagged so hard thinking about it, though it was relatively true), charm that deceived women… or deceit masked as charm? Anyway. He had it all.

Plus, he had three gorgeous daughters to boot.

Had he exchanged his soul for this amount of good karma?

Well, it didn’t matter.

If the angel of death wanted nothing to do with him, then it probably wouldn’t mind if three angel-looking ladies took care of the job instead… right?

They were certainly angry enough to kill.

Or at least Weiss was.

Weiss had been brandishing her sword for the better half of the last two hours as she remained seated on the couch next to an equally fuming Claudine, exchanging opinions about their insufferable… sperm donor, or whatever.

Diana lay peacefully unaware, head on the golden-blonde’s lap, still unconscious since fainting at their front door. The other two…sisters- gosh, it was so weird thinking about it- didn’t quite know what to do with her, so they simply moved her over so she could rest more comfortably.

At first, they had planned on moving to the kitchen area to talk things out, and leave their other sibling to the peace of a quiet room, however, as if sensing the lack of presence, Diana had begun to toss and turn restlessly, hands and arms seeking out something. Upon grasping the edge of Claudine’s shirt, it seemed as though she had no plans of letting go, and thus, they ended up in the position they were in now, all squeezing together on their decently-sized couch.

“-And so, he told me I wasn’t old enough to live on my own, and I was wondering what he meant, because I am most certainly over eighteen! And then he implied something about Japan and that-! That was how I found out about being sent here and… we’re here now.” Weiss had just finished telling her side of this ridiculous story, pissed off being an understatement as to how she felt.

She didn’t want to be a criminal, but Jacques Schnee had a neck that just looked so perfect to slice in half.

Claudine would have laughed at how red Weiss’ face had become, but she refrained, breathing in, readying the words to her own tale. They had broached the topic of how they got here while talking about the house and their first meeting, and so they backtracked a bit to their own backgrounds and history prior to their father’s decision of sending them all to this place in Japan.

“I used to study here, actually. It’s only been a little over two years since I left.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. I studied at a music and arts academy and mainly dabbled in theatre.”

“You say, “dabbled”, but I wonder if it’s really just that.” Weiss chuckled, secretly studying her companion’s features. Something in the back of her mind told her that the name, ‘Claudine’ was one she’d heard of before, especially since it had involved music. But maybe she could look into it later. “Sorry, go on.” Weiss encouraged after realizing she had interrupted her sister’s story.

“I was offered a chance at an exchange program in the school that basically “made” my mother’s previous career. It was in Paris and…” Claudine looked like she had loved and regretted at the same time every inch of that experience.

“I get it.” Weiss whispered, not meeting the actress’ gaze. “The biggest opportunity of your life. It could change everything.” Weiss turned back to meet rose-red eyes in understanding. “But that change isn’t always the best.” Claudine nodded. “It’s kind of like that meme, the one that goes ‘but at what cost’.” They shared a light laugh at that, but it seemed as though their chatter was enough to rouse the bundle of British girl on Claudine’s lap.

“Hrrngghnmm… where…?” Rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands, Diana blinked slowly, rising up to sit on the couch properly. She took in her surroundings, the unfamiliar interior, and the two people she could barely remember. She would have panicked and created as much distance between herself and the strangers, thinking she might have been kidnapped, but it was like she didn’t even have enough energy for that.

“Good morning to you as well.” Claudine jested, patting stray tufts of curly hair into place. “I hope you slept well, because we have a lot to talk about.”

Diana was still in the middle of processing everything in her drowsy state, so she could only nod in minimal understanding.

“Great. So Diana,” Weiss stole her attention.

“How did you-“

“Well, as you failed to introduce yourself to us right before fainting,” Diana visibly winced, and Claudine had chided Weiss on being a bit mean. The white-haired heiress rolled her eyes, but apologized anyway before continuing. “-we took the liberty of checking your pockets for any identification. Don’t worry, we didn’t take anything, and we didn’t snoop around important things that weren’t your ID. Rest assured. At least we respect privacy… unlike certain assholes…” She whispered the last part to herself.

A nod.

“Good, so. Now that introductions are out of the way,” Weiss stood up in front of the pair, hands on her hips. “It’s now time for some very important questions.”

“…such as?” Diana required some elaboration.

“Such as… whatever this thing is.” She stated, spinning her finger about in the air, gesturing to the three of them. “Between us.”

“But I thought…” Diana trailed off, instinctively looking to Claudine for support. The latter got the message.

“Aren’t we siblings? Sisters? Well… half-sisters, but,” she scratched the back of her head, feeling a little shy. “Sisters nonetheless.” Diana nodded in agreement, feeling a little warm deep down.

“Fine. So we’re sisters.” Weiss crossed her arms over her chest. “But there are certain things we have to agree on. After all, we don’t even know each other. Like, at all. How do we know who’s in charge in this house? Money concerns, I’m sure we all have individual banks and means. But things like property and document processes, who gives the rules and all that jazz… Or do we all just go on with our lives, each to their own.” She finished, awaiting the pair’s reply.

“I-…” Diana found herself lost for words once more. She couldn’t admit that she actually fancied the idea of having two new sisters, having wanted a family because she never really had one apart from her mother who had already long since passed. After that event, she had always been alone. She had been an only child, after all. She had always wondered what it would have been like had she had siblings, like her twin cousins. Her mother never married again, nor did she have the chance to as fate was so cruel. She was Diana’s only memory of family, along with a few of their servants who were loyal to them to the core.

But really, it was different when it was family that shared the same blood in their veins. Though quite a number would argue that some friends stuck closer than brothers, there were still instances where blood would prove to be thicker than water.

Even if it was diluted by half-built relationships.

Claudine noticed her distress. It was as though she always did. Placing a hand over Diana’s, she squeezed comfortingly before turning to Weiss.

“After speaking with you earlier, I’m sure we all need family of some sort. I don’t mind acting-“ Claudine caught herself, proceeding to shake her head. “-No, being sisters with you both. I think I’d actually like it. I’ve never had siblings as I was an only child. But then I did stay in a dorm in high school, and being around same-aged peers was truly a beneficial experience, living alongside people I grew to know and trust.”

Diana gave her a relieved smile, and the French responded in kind.

“I believe we could be the same if we tried.”

Weiss sighed, but she was smiling deep down. She had an older sister back home, and a younger brother as well, though they weren’t as close as she was with the eldest. Still, she knew they were all just struggling in their father’s grasp, forced to obey his whims. The two older sisters had managed to wriggle out one way or another, but Weiss sometimes regretted not helping Whitley be able to do the same. Maybe one day, she could introduce him to two sisters who looked like they had so much care and experience to share. Maybe they could all be a family together. Even if they all just consisted of siblings.

“I suppose I can be the eldest then.” It was neither proposition nor suggestion. Weiss was attempting to establish it as fact.

“Why you?” Claudine questioned with a brow raised.

Diana didn’t care who was in charge, she was happy enough to feel the inclusion in a family.

“Well, seeing as I’m the legitimate child here-“ It was like everything froze. There was a cut of silence in the air, kind of like those disc scratches you would hear often in videos when someone made a mistake, or a fumble and everyone realized. Yes, Weiss had suddenly realized what she had just said, and immediately regretted it.

And her string of apologies ensued.

“I’m… I’m so sorry. Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” Her eyes were panicked, flickering quickly between Diana and Claudine’s shocked ones, a bit too shaken to come up with a comment or response. “I’m so sorry. I really am. I apologize. I deeply apologize.” Weiss throat ran dry, it was like she was choking. Tears pricked at the edges of her eyes in her state of adrenaline with all the heightened emotions she had endured throughout the day.

She knew she had just crossed a horrible, horrible line. She bowed before them deeply, a perfect ninety degrees, not knowing what to do to salvage this situation. She didn’t know much of Diana’s story, but from what she’d gotten from Claudine’s side, as well as observing Diana through their interactions, she was fairly sure that they had been through so many bad things.

So many.

“I’m so sorry. Di-Diana… Claudine, I’m… I’m sorry.” She coughed out. “I can’t believe it… I’m just like… I’m just like that man.” She felt a tear slip out of her eyes, but before more could, a handkerchief was held out to her by a hand that slightly tremored.

“No. You’re not. You’re not like him.” Claudine was someone who was quite good at comforting others, Diana and Weiss realized. “We all aren’t.” All this time since they met, she had been the one to offer it. They had to be sure to thank her and express their appreciation later. They had all the time to. “We’ll do our best to reject his blood that runs through our veins.” She said with a conviction that the two could only agree to. But there was just something about that last bit,

“Pfft-“ Diana ended up cracking first. “I don’t think that’s possible,” She looked to Claudine, mirth in her gaze, something different from the clouds that had shrouded them this whole time. “but… we can at least deny his existence, if you’d like.”

The two blinked, Diana saying her first complete sentence, smooth sentence catching them unaware. It only took them a second to adjust to it however as they giggled along.

“Oh, I’d definitely like that.”

 //-//-//-//-//

 They ended up deciding who would be the “eldest” by asking each other’s ages and birthdates, something they should have done earlier, they now realized, sharing another laugh at their silliness.

They were all currently nineteen years of age, and about to enter their first year of university. At this revelation, they wondered why it was that their ages were so close to one another, particularly Diana and Weiss.

While the former was born in April, the latter’s birthday landed on the fifteenth of May. Claudine had the slightest gap from them, being born a few months later in august.

They tried to reason it out, Weiss trying to share bits and pieces of information she had uncovered after snooping around in her father’s office, as well as things she had heard during her mother’s many lamentations.

Over dinner, their talk led them to the deduction that on the particular year when they had been conceived, Jacques Schnee had a world-wide business operation going on, travelling from place to place constantly, checking on his various corporation branches almost monthly, staying for days to weeks on end in some countries.

Through the magical powers of the internet, they were able to dig up hidden articles that spoke of their biological parent’s notoriety for sleeping around in the many places he visited, and by the universe’s cruel plot, got the other two mothers pregnant around the time his wife was. Weiss had probably been conceived when he came back home from his visit to England which might explain why Diana was now the eldest.

“We should have him castrated.” Weiss proposed, and the other two only laughed nervously, knowing she was dead serious.

Despite this infuriating truth, they were somehow thankful that it allowed them to find each other. It was a mutual feeling that they believed they’d get along nicely.

Their dinner ended with them cleaning up the dishes and kitchen together before wishing one another a goodnight, separating into their individual rooms to unpack and get cleaned up to catch their repose from this stressful day.

Diana had finished quickly, now fresh from a warm bath and changed into comfortable sleeping attire. She fell onto the soft mattress that was a little too big for her taste. It was like the one back at home. Simply large and comfortable, but never comforting. Always so cold because Diana could never warm it all up. Or maybe that was just in her heart.

The peaceful rest she had wanted to attain did not come to her. Instead, she was plagued with nightmares of abuse. The abuse she had had to sustain while in the Cavendish manor, while in the branch house, everywhere that had the family’s eyes on her.

Cold blue eyes, freezing, burning. Yells and screams, screeches, insults, the pressured gazes, the false smiles of the peers and fans that surrounded her. The scrutiny and judgment. The rumors.

The emotional pains, the mental torture, the spiritual crushing, the social stress…

The whip that beat down on her legs, on her back, on her arms, and on her face at time.

And then-

Diana screamed.

In agony, in pain. A deep red gash on her hand never ceased in its bleeding. Her nerves stung, her eyes did too. The pain was searing, she couldn’t take it, it hurt so much. Her hands shook, they quivered, her body wretched and writhed, but still that unforgiving hand still raised the bloody tool for one more-

“I BEG YOU, PLEASE STOP-!”

“DIANA!” Claudine and Weiss had barged through the door, having heard the tormented cries of their housemate and had made a mad dash for her room.

“Diana?! Are you okay?” The said girl remained writhing, needily gasping for air. Claudine attempted to shake her awake. “Diana! Wake up!”

Eyelids flew open, revealing pained ceruleans, hazy from the dream and unfocused. Diana continued her sobbing, but now quieter as she slowly ran out of tears. Her sisters waited for her, understood that she was unable to speak, possibly for moments, possibly for the entire night.

They tried to get her back into bed, hoping she could get more rest at the very least. She must have been exhausted with whatever war she had in her dreams.

But Diana didn’t want to go back to sleep, clinging onto Claudine strongly. To her, it felt as though she was walking right back into the lion’s den, returning to torture’s waiting arms; but Claudine’s arms, she much more preferred. It felt of a motherly presence. When she realized this, Diana felt the embarrassment sinking in at the knowledge that Claudine was the youngest sister and she was the eldest.

And yet, here they are.

Still, she didn’t like being in the bed, she didn’t like how unfamiliar it was.

The girls agreed to move to the living room. While Claudine layed out a few extra foams and blankets for them to settle down into, Weiss prepared some warm, tea to help calm Diana down.

She wasn’t as good at Claudine when it came to dealing with people’s anxieties, Weiss admitted. But she wasn’t bad at it. So, offering Diana a cup gently, she tried to reassure her with a smile and a soft tone.

“It’s p-peppermint.” Damn stutters.

They sat in front of one another on a pile of warm blankets, no words, just the sounds of sipping and blowing of tea.

Claudine was fine with backrubs and handholds, and the like. But anything more than that felt like crossing a line, especially with strangers. Even if those strangers happened to be your family. Huh. This is what it was like to have awkward moments of being a family with strangers. She thought it was such a rare thing, usually portrayed only in books and television or in the plays she did.

But now it she was literally living that odd trope.

Huh.

And the silence continued. And continued. And continued… and still would have painfully continued, if Weiss could take the atmosphere still.

She couldn’t.

So what better way to break the ice than to talk about their horrible shared father?

“Ahh… My dad lied to me about a lot of things.” She began, stretching her arms up into the air, hand still holding her empty cup. That caught her siblings’ attention as they were taken into another conversation. “This place too. He said he had gotten me an apartment. I thought he was being pretty considerate to give me a place to live on my own- ah, not that I dislike staying with you both I just… didn’t foresee this development.”

“I doubt any of us did.” Claudine followed-up.

“This house… even if it’s smaller than the mansion where I grew up… It’s kinda big for just three girls, huh.” Weiss murmured, suddenly feeling the urge to apologize at mentioning wealth when she hadn’t a clue of the living situations her “sisters” had had to endure before this point.

They shook their heads, as if they read her thoughts, knowing.

Diana began murmuring coldly. “My mother’s family is very well-known.” Her younger sisters perked up at this, finally having the chance to hear the eldest’s background pre-incident. “We… were kicked out of the main house in England after, well… after me.” She hung her head low, as if she were shaed of her own existence. And she very likely was.

Diana jumped at the two warm touches on each of her hand, Claudine and Weiss taking one each, squeezing encouragingly.

Diana continued. “We lived in a traditional Japanese manor after moving to this country. A branch of our family used to live there, but at that time, it was unoccupied. It was fancy and large. Certainly made for the luxurious life. Though I never felt rich regardless.” The girls nodded in understanding, and Diana ended her piece.

Claudine then explained that while she understood their sentiments, she was rather satisfied with her life. She had everything she needed. Her adoptive father bought them a larger than average house, and they were a happy family together. Then she stopped.

This time, it was her who received the squeezes of comfort, Weiss now taking her free hand as they sat in this odd circle of angsty reminiscing.

“When he died, we sold the house, not solely for monetary need, but because maman couldn’t take the pain of being reminded of him.” Claudine finished. Weiss just had to comment, though.

“Maman…”

“M-mother!”

Everyone chuckled at that.

“Mothers. Fathers. Family, huh…” Diana tested the foreign words on her tongue. “I… I had my mother for a time, but after that…” She trailed off, a forlorn expression taking place on her features once more.                “I’ve never had a family.”

“…”

“If you’ve never had a family, then we’ll be you family.” Weiss, ever the breaker of silence, declared.

“We will be your sisters, your mothers, your friends, and your fathers. We will be everything for you.” Claudine added, wanting to share these feelings, just like how her mom had made her feel when it was just the two of them remaining.

Those words were too good to be true. Too kind. Too rewarding a promise. Diana searched their eyes. She searched their body languages, their words, and their souls.

She searched and found their loyalty, sincerity, and truthfulness.

And she cried.

 //-//-//-//-//

 They woke up late the following morning, opting to have some toast with jam and hot milk. An easy fix from the things they found in their already stacked cupboards. While cleaning up after a filling meal, they heard a phone go off in one of the rooms.

Identifying it as hers, Claudine goes off to retrieve it, her sisters waving her off as they continued cleaning up.

A few quiet minutes passed, and then the actress came bounding down the hall. frantic in her running about. Once she reached her worried companions, she cries a heart-wrenching sob. The two elders asked what was wrong, and when Claudine says that she had received a call from the hospital, the two are willing to accompany her with no questions asked.

They soon learn of what Claudine had been unable to tell them the day before. Her mother who had been admitted in the hospital for a while, and had been the primary reason for the actress to return to Japan, had a critical attack that morning, and upon their arrival at the hospital, she now rested unconscious.

Diana and Weiss did not know how to comfort Claudine the way she did for them. When they met her, she was feisty, determined, willful, independent and strong. Able to stand on her own two feet, so to speak.

But now they realized she was only able to stand because she had someone behind her, supporting her always. Unconditionally.

And that support was now laying motionless on a hospital bed, the beeps of a machine eerily looming around their atmosphere, rousing such scary prospects.

Claudine sobbed hours upon hours straight, and the pair could only helplessly watch her do so.

They could do nothing, not while the girl’s mother was in such a critical state, no one knowing if she’d ever wake up again.

---

She woke up.

It was late in the afternoon, and Claudine had fallen asleep from all the crying, head rested on her arms on her mom’s bedside.

The woman blinked the sleep away, eyes scanning the room and landing on two strangers, two women who awkwardly bowed their introductions, trying to explain why they were in the room of someone they had just met today. “Hello, um.” They bowed slightly. “We are… well… we are S-Saijou-no… Claudine’s sisters.” One with streaks of mint in her blonde locks tried, scared of the older woman’s reaction to this news.

“I know.”

“What?!” Shocked, they listened to the giggling mother explain why.

She began to express her regrets with the man known as Jacques. It was a mistake. Everything involving him was.

It was a corporation party for a show she had performed in. And the man was one of the sponsors. She had been forced to drink, coerced, probably slipped something strange, and when she woke up…

Weiss face was contorted in disgusted anger. “That man should just get arrested already.” She seethed. They knew it would take a little more effort than just reporting it to police, however. Especially since it had been nineteen years ago. But hey, he had so many faults, couldn’t they just… get him for any of those?

And then she remembered why Diana and Claudine were claimed as his children in the first place. He always tried to look for loopholes out of prison. He just had so much undeserved power. Weiss hoped it would bite him in the ass one day.

They swapped stories until the orange sky turned dark blue, and visiting hours were almost coming to a close. Claudine was breathing softly, eyes puffy, body relaxed. Her mother petted through golden mane, leaning down to plant a kiss on the crown of her head. She then turned to her daughter’s sisters, rose-red eyes, making a life-time request, plea to them.

“Please… take care of her.” They saw her fist tighten for a moment, before relaxing again. “She is the love of my life.” If Weiss used to think that that title could only be applied to romantic partners, her perception was given a fresh wash.

Love of your life. To be able to call someone that, such a pure unadulterated love towards another human being... it was something special. And probably something she herself had yet to experience. Her younger sister truly was blessed, as she claimed. It was clear why she grew up, able to be satisfied with her family life. Claudine surely felt the same for her mother.

Maybe someday, they too…

They stayed a few more minutes, simply waiting until Claudine would wake up. She soon did, and they pushed her to spend the remaining time with her mom right until the last minute before visiting hours would officially be over.

They thought they would have to pry Claudine away from her mother as she had spent almost the entire time hugging her, speaking from time to time, but mostly just holding her wordlessly.

But the girl really was a mature, grounded lass. It was amazing, inspiring, and… a bit sad, they’d admit. What else had she been through to grow this resilient?

They walked home a slow pace. No one had said any word.

The nighttime breeze hit them coldly and they shivered. Then, each sister awkwardly took a hand, at the same time, as if they shared some form of telepathy. It made them feel warmer.

And so they continued their walk home together-

There was a collective growl of stomachs, along wlith blushing and chuckling.

And so they continued their walk to the nearest convenience store instead, grabbing a few chicken nuggets and hotdog buns, some juice, and a few chocolates. Then they went on home.

They learned a lot about each other today. However, it appeared as though there was even more to learn. There always was when it came to getting to know other people. And along with becoming familiar with each other, they’d discover many more of each other’s struggles and troubles.

They’d encounter their own as a family together as well.

But it really didn’t matter anymore, did it?

They could conquer anything. They really did believe they could conquer anything.

Together, they could.

 A/N: It’s 2:15am and my brain is fried. I have to re-enroll for my second semester classes and make my mom’s modules haha. Anyway, The picture I have for this AU’s Diana is actually still reserved, but the soft kind around her sisters. She’ll be cold around other people tho. Kind of meek, in a sense, but that has to do with how bad she’s had it growing up. And although Claud is the youngest, she acts like the mother. Weiss, I can definitely see as the middle child haha. Weiss’ tsundere aspects and Claudine’s slightly prideful self make for a wonderful dynamic in interactions. I love it. Diana is like the regulator of their passionate bickering. It’s like icecream on a hot cookiebrowny. I think.

Comments, kudos, reblogs, let’s go? Please? I’m desperate for feedback haha.

~Shintori Khazumi

[daydreamer11587]

*Dusts off blog*

Well, earlier I didn't think I'd ever write paragraphs for Hospital Playlist as I am already too jaded with the writer and director duo's evil game of stringing the viewers along, making them invested and feeling lulled with their feelings and ships only to break them later. But tonight... yeah I have this urge to write paragraphs of things because at episode 10, I think they have made things more clearer and obvious so I just want to document my finding, lol. So yeah, excuse me. *insert Marge Simpson embarrassed gif*

(Caution: these are purely my own observation and personal interpretations. They are of course prone to be wrong and may be interpreted so differently than others)

HOSPITAL PLAYLIST EPISODE 10 THEME: ONE SIDED LOVES AND CONFESSIONS.

Seeing how the episode panned out and the song they performed - Confession is Not Flashy, I think the theme of the episode is one sided loves and confessions.

The writer director duo has regarded the song "Confession is Not Flashy" as a one-sided love song, based on their usage of the song in Reply 1994, episode 8 when the lights was out because of the rain and the kids were listening to the radio at the living room. The DJ narrated:

"Everyone, this is your chance. If by chance the person you love is next to you and if you are in a one-sided love, you should take advantage of this darkness and stare at the person you love as much as you can. I'll play a song for you. So until the electricity comes back, feel free to imagine being in a relationship with that person. Does it even matter? It's a one-sided love after all. That person doesn't know about it. Although you are in a one-sided love relationship, I hope you'll have a happy date during the 3 minutes of this song. This is a gift for those who are in a one-sided relationship and those who are lonely yet happy. It's 'Confession is Not Flashy' by Lee Seung Hwan. Everyone, end your one-sided love today. When the rain stops tomorrow, confess your love like said in the song. You never know, that person might be in love with you too."

I know this drama and Reply 1994 are totally different dramas, but I believe the writer-director's view on the songs they have chosen must still be the same. So when they use the same song in Hospital Playlist, their view on the song and what they represent should still be the same.

And true to their view about the song, this episode really is filled with one-sided loves and confessions (directly or indirectly) :

1. Chi Hong's one sided love towards Song Hwa, and his indirect confession despite her earlier rejection.

He was enjoying the few minutes alone time with Song Hwa during the NS lunch date and a little bit displeased when Dr. Yong turned up on time, lol. From picking up the strand of hair on her shoulder (which made her uncomfortable), to saying "I'll stay right by your side, Professor".

2. Min Ha's one-sided love towards Seok Hyeong and her direct confession in his car.

Girl got some gusto I like their scene so much I was squealing the whole time ajdjfjf. Her confession and what she said after to him was so cool, my heart fluttered!

3. Gyeo Wool's one-sided love towards Jeong Won and her indirect confession to him via her manager, Ik Jun. Haha.

Ik Jun is campaigning for Jeong Won to accept Gyeo Wool so hard. Why? Not really because of Jeong Won, but because of Gyeo Wool. He adores her as a doctor and as a person that he wants her to be happy and he said this himself. He knows that the thing that would make Gyeo Wool happy is by being with the person she likes, Jeong Won. As how it is, Jeong Won denied Ik Jun's assumption that he likes Gyeo Wool. As Jeong Won was looking at Ik Jun bemusedly for his suggestion, he was probably recalling his conversation with Jun Wan about Ik Jun being a nutcase and how he and Ik Jun are not seeing eye to eye (the Korean phrase can also be translated as "not like minded") and he can't figure Ik Jun's mind at all sometimes.

4. Ik Jun's one-sided love towards Song Hwa and his very smooth indirect confession.

The reason why I see it as one-sided from was because Song Hwa doesn't seem to view him romantically. Most of the time, the affection from her towards him seems to be purely platonic. She always hit him, threatening to punch him and chided him for behaving like a kid. She even refused skinship(?) from his end by kicking him when his feet were touching hers under the cafeteria table. The scene where they look domesticated at his house really is heart fluttering, but when he (so smoothly) indirectly confessed to her, she was startled and looked away. She seems wanting to avoid it, turned her face away, pretending to look outside and then change the subject, asking him to continue eating. It doesn't look like a positive reaction after a confession. But I might be wrong though.

5. Song Hwa's one-sided love(?) towards Jeong Won and her proposal as an indirect confession

(This one is actually so weak and I don't really think it's feasible but somehow there seems to be something, especially from Song Hwa's end that leaves some nagging feeling and suspicions)

Song Hwa doesn't come off as someone who would freely intiate affectionate and excessive skinships with the boys. She would just give them either some friendly touches on their arms, friendly or consolation pats (to Seok Hyeong and Jun Wan) or hitting and kicking them (to Ik Jun). But with Jeong Won, she seems to take the opportunity(?) to lean on his shoulder when he put his arms around her when supporting her purchase decision. But, this could also mean that they're so close that there's no personal boundaries between them. However, both of them were not portrayed to have that kind of dynamic. Song Hwa is a lot closer to the other 3 boys than Jeong Won but she was never shown to initiate such an intimate skinship with them.

After witnessing Jeong Won being so lovable with the little boy (look at how she looks at him) and enthusiastically talking about him and his brother, she proposed to him "Jeong Won, let's get married / marry me" (the right literal translation). He was startled, looking directly at her in surprise and then she backtracked(?), telling him to find a great woman and make babies as she imagined how cute it would be if he has his own children. Her random "proposal" might be brushed off as a joke, but Song Hwa doesn't seem like a person who would freely joke on such a matter either. If her proposal actually wasn't a joke as how she covered it to be, then it can be regarded as a type of confession too, no?

6. Jeong Won's non-romantic one-sided intention towards Song Hwa and his direct confession and proposal.

Jeong Won has one-sidedly intended for Song Hwa to take over his Daddy Long Legs project since spring. He confessed to her than he is in fact Daddy Long Legs (Grandpa Long Legs to her, lol). He proposed for her to take it over, and she accepted it.

Now,

I know Hospital Playlist is not the same as the Reply series as there is no 'who is the husband game' mystery. And it actually has a more similar vibe to Prison Playbook imo. But at the same time, Hospital Playlist is made to share the same formula as the Reply series: apart from the heartwarming small daily stories, the writer and director duo also deliberately hide and witheld certain POVs, make them opague and opening them up for interpretations which leads to people starting guessing games. Then they filled the show with small details and nuances to corroborate the interpretations and fuelling the guessing game.

It is the same as the Reply series where people were made to guess whom did the female lead like, whom would the female lead choose and ends up with.

But this time, the persons whose POV were hidden and making people keep on guessing are not only the female lead Song Hwa, but also Jeong Won. Will he really quit and becomes a priest? Does he like Gyeo Wool or not? Will he end up with Gyeo Wool or not? As for Song Hwa, it's the question of whom does she like? Does she have feelings for Ik Jun or not? Will she change her mind and consider Chi Hong or not?

Those sort of mysteries are established because both Jeong Won's and Song Hwa's insights were deliberately witheld and made to be opague. We have insight to Ik Jun's, Jun Wan's and Seok Hyeong's feelings. But not the other two. This witholding of POVs and insights to their feelings made things open for different interpretations, sparked the guessing games and established ships, just like the Reply series.

[itsy-bitsy-spider-fan]

Hi! Thank you for the ask! Thought I'd shoot one back:) Maybe 46. With tickles and irondad? Maybe a lil bit of Parkner or whatever you wanna sprinkle in?

Dialogue Prompts

46. "What happens if I do this?" 

Peter sets his phone down with a sigh that walks the line between airy and completely smitten, grinning madly and hoping that his face isn't as red as it is hot. Somehow, Harley manages to do that to him. Even through a phone call. The Tennesean has always had that effect on Peter --- that take-your-breath-away, sweep-you-off-your-feet effect.

I guess we both have superpowers, Peter thinks.

"Are you done ignoring me?"

Peter looks up with a start that wipes all evidence of love sickness of his face. He raises an eyebrow at Tony, who's leaning against the wide doorway connecting the living room and the kitchen. With his arms crossed petulantly and his face downturned into a mock pout, Peter can't take him seriously.

"Really, Tony?" A conspiratory grin plays on Peter's lips. "Hold up… are you jealous?"

Tony shrugs noncommittally, though he's unable to conceal a grin. "With Pep and Morgan gone for the weekend who am I supposed to hang out with when you walk out on me?"

Peter squints at him in disbelief. "I took one phone call, Mr. Stark."

"One phone call for too long," jokes Tony, and Peter is instantly suspicious of the gleam in Tony's eye as the mechanic trots closer.

"Tony, what are you---" Peter cuts off when Tony all but leaps over the couch and onto him, knocking both of them and Peter's phone to the ground. 

Peter groans when Tony clocks him in the face with a nearby throw pillow. "Really? A pillow? And jumping on me? I thought you had a bad back."

"And I thought I had a loyal intern--"

"Hey, you introduced--- wait. What are you doing?"

Peter resists the urge to drop-kick Tony across the room when he feels fingertips brushing against his (very ticklish) side.

"What happens if I do this?" Tony taunts, and Peter's eyes widen.

"You wouldn't," Peter breathes, reaching for the throw pillow and holding between them like a shield. "Also, I can quite literally throw you across the room."

Tony stops, an eyebrow raised. "But would you?"

Peter pauses. "Probably not."

"That's what I thought."

Peter lets out an inhuman burst of laughter when Tony digs his fingers into Peter's side. 

"Wait--- stop---" he breathes through bouts of laughter that he can't contain.

Tony's face is etched with determination too serious for the action of tickling (read: torturing) his intern. "Sorry, Pete. You asked for it."

Peter half-heartedly shoves Tony, but the man remains unfazed, resuming the torture with only a hint of a grin. "Please, Mr. Stark, don't---"

Looking back, he swears up and down that what happened next was completely accidental.

One second, Peter is humoring Tony and resigning himself to (faux) jealousy-induced tickling, and in the next, his fist pops up ("A reflex; it was just a reflex Mr. Stark I swear!") and Mr. Stark goes down with a surprised shout.

Peter jacknifes upright in horror as Tony lands on his back. Already, a million apologies are bubbling in his throat but the tidal wave of guilt is halted by the sound of Tony laughing dryly.

"You know, I probably deserved that," Tony half-groans, propping himself up on one elbow and rubbing at his tender (soon to be black) eye.

Peter opens and closes his mouth a few times, like a fish out of water. Finally, the apologies come rushing out.

"Oh my God, Mr. Stark, I am so, so sorry I totally did not mean to---"

Tony holds up a hand and Peter's mouth snaps closed, but he's on his feet the instant he sees Tony start to get up.

"Let me---"

"Nope," Tony insists, and Peter is relieved to see that he doesn't seem mad. Only very amused and a little pained. "I'm an Avenger, kid, remember? I can get up on my own."

Peter nods complacently, and probably too much, before following Tony into the kitchen.

Five minutes later, they're sitting at the marble-topped island. Peter is fidgeting restlessly in his stool. Tony is pressing a bag of frozen peas to his eye. Peter wants to ask why there aren't any real ice packs in the freezer considering that they both spend a substantial amount of time fighting crime and getting busted up, but he doesn't.

"Can't say I didn't tell you so," Peter says meekly instead, after an awkward silence, and Tony looks up with narrowed eyes. Peter backtracks. "You know because I'm not a kid and who tickles, like, grown adults anyways---"

Tony shakes his head with a laugh, and Peter decides he better stop there. "First of all, you brought that on yourself.

"And second, you're still sixteen, which means you are still a kid and even if you were a 'grown adult,' you would still be my kid, which gives me the right to tickle you whenever I want."

Peter's brain gets kind of tripped up on the whole "my kid" thing, but he mostly manages to stop his face from turning crimson. Or his heart from exploding.

Tony doesn't seem to realize what he said, or at least, doesn't realize how much it meant to Peter. And it meant, like, a lot.

So when Tony says, "Just for hitting me though, you owe me another weekend in the workshop," Peter says with a grin, "You know, I think I'm okay with that."

***

Thanks for the ask! I'm still kind of new to Tumblr so I know next to nothing about formatting but we'll just ignore that haha. Also I'm on my phone until my laptop comes in but 🤷‍♀️ Hope you liked it. :)

[thesaltyoceanwaves]

Nice Guy Adrien the Musical Outline: ACT I

Please note that I’m going to using the word “show”, but if it were up to me, the way that this would be structured would be over the course of a few episodes, probably closer to the finale. Admittedly, it’d be kind of weird to change up the show to suddenly start including musical numbers, but this is an AU, so I can do what I want. :P

*”World According to Chris” was originally planned to be a Chloe number but an anon suggested that it be a Lila number instead. Since she already had “Bop to the Top” in this act, and Lila needed a “haha I’m dating Adrien now” number, I decided to give it to her.

@lenoreofraven​

The show opens with Marinette scrambling to get to school It’s going to be a rather busy day, and it’s off to a not-so promising start. First, she slept through her alarm, again, after spending most of her night fighting an akuma and then having to finish a major assignment for class that day. Then, she barely remembered the meeting meant for student reps later that day about the school dance and the catering that had to be hired. As she runs over to her class, she just barely manages to give a passing wave to Kagami and Felix, heading to their own classroom, and Luka, who is walking over to his own school, not too far from Francois-Dupont. When she enters the class, Lila is of course the center of attention again, while everyone eyes Marinette warily. The story of Il Malocchio has been told by this point, and with the number of unfortunate incidents happening to her, people are starting to put some stock in the idea that Marinette is actually cursed. With that in mind, Lila decides today is the day to strike. She sets up the tone of a conversation that involves Marinette and various other members of the class, that allows her to naturally mention Marinette’s crush on Adrien, just as he enters the class. Marinette finds it difficult to backtrack and has to come clean. Later, during lunch, he pulls her aside and turns her down. The rest of the day isn’t much easier. She’s barely able to focus during student rep activities, even with Alya at her side, and just as she’s about to head home, an akuma attacks. It’s evening when we find Dragonbug going after an akumatized Mirielle Cauquet. (Going Through the Motions)

Back at the Agreste Mansion, Adrien laments his lack of freedom and loneliness, as his father once again bails on dinner plans, after telling him that he’s expected for another big modelling shoot, and then a major dinner party for a charity event. He also gives himself a moment or two to lament how he had to turn down his friend at school. All of that is forgotten when he sees Dragonbug flying across town, fighting an akuma. Ecstatic, he transforms into Chat Noir and announces how he can’t wait for a night of mischief and romance. (Macavity Part 1)

Just as Chat Noir arrives, Dragonbug manages to defeat the akuma. After helping Mirielle out, Dragonbug retreats somewhere to transform back, and Chat pursues her, finally finding out her identity. There’s an awkward silence as it begins to hit Marinette. On top of everything else she’s had to deal with, she’s now had her identity compromised. Realizing it’s not fair to her, Chat drops his transformation and suggests that now that everything has been revealed, they can start dating. Marinette is dumbfounded. He just turned her down this morning, but now he wants to date? Oh. She realizes it’s because she’s Ladybug. Adrien asks her what the problem is, and soon, all sorts of things start spilling from Marinette’s mouth. How he’s disrespected her saying no in the past. How he’s made Chloe and Lila more of a priority over her. How he’s flirted with other girls. Just because they have feelings for each other doesn’t mean that they’re right for each other or would make a good couple. She insists that they should remain friends for now. (FRIENDS)

Adrien, of course, doesn’t like this answer. After she leaves and goes home to get some rest, he starts sending her texts. “Can’t we talk it out?” “Are you sure it’s not just cuz you had a bad day?” etc, etc. He also texts Alya about the situation, and she’s immediately on board to get Adrinette to happen. The next day at school, Alya drags Marinette away toward the girl group and asks her why she turned Adrien down when they were this close to becoming a couple. Marinette, trying to keep the details vague, says that she learned something about Adrien that made her think that they’d be better off staying friends. Alya is under the impression that Marinette is just scared to take the next step. The other members of the girl group chime in and give their opinions on the matter. However, Marinette is not swayed and goes to class. Alya lets Adrien know that she’s failed to convince Marinette. “Don’t worry” he texts her “I’ll think of something.” (Marry the Mole)

Marinette decides to go home for lunch and escape all of the drama. She waves hello and goodbye to Luka, Kagami and Felix, all gathered in the courtyard to go to lunch. They are confused as she walks away, shoulders hunched and clearly looking down. While Luka texts her, Felix and Kagami point out how stressed out Marinette has been lately, and how it feels like she’s pushing them away. Someone needs to talk to her and see how things are going. Felix admits it’s not his forte, so it’s between Luka and Kagami. (How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?) 

We cut to Chloe and Sabrina eating lunch at the hotel. A perfectly well-balanced meal has been prepared for the bee heroine. Chloe has been working very hard in every aspect of her civilian life to prepare herself to take action as Queen Bee again, and that includes her diet. And generally staying out of drama, like the stuff happening with Dupain-Cheng, Rossi and Adrikins. “How ridiculous,” she retorts as she takes a sip of her tea. She has to admit, it’s somewhat fascinating, but Queen Bee can’t go around provoking more akumas by sticking her nose into other people’s business. Sabrina and Jean both praise Chloe for being so considerate, and say that Ladybug would be so proud. However, it’s not enough for Chloe, so she makes sure she has Jean prepare her obstacle course for later. After all, a hero has to stay in tip-top shape. (Bop to the Top) 

Marinette comes back from lunch, contemplating something she learned from her mother, when she sees the attention has settled back on Lila. This time, she reveals that she and Adrien are officially dating. Marinette doesn’t believe it, but everyone else says it’s the truth, and that she really shouldn’t be jealous. As they all go back to class, Lila manages to get Marinette alone and breaks it to her that her “goody two-shoes act” wasn’t enough to win over Adrien, and now she has no one else left. The real world favors people like Lila, who do whatever it takes to get what they want, especially if it’s mean and nasty. Even Adrien couldn’t help but be won over by her. (World According to Chris) 

The rest of the day passes by in a blur, as Marinette can’t help but try to escape and have her meltdown somewhere private. It feels like some plot Hawkmoth has cooked up to get her akumatized. What if he’s figured out who she is? Tikki tries her hardest to calm Marinette down, but it’s only thanks to intervention from Luka, Kagami and Felix that she manages to avoid getting akumatized. Luka deduces that something really bad is going on, and plays a little something to calm her down. Kagami gently asks Marinette why she decided to skip out on lunch. Marinette, without giving away too much, reveals some of the stuff regarding Adrien and Lila. With break coming up, and a possible trip to China, she’s hoping that things will look up, but she’s not even sure if she can go. With some convincing, the trio get her to consider going. However, she has to make a stop to Fu and make some arrangements. (Are You Satisfied?) 

Chat arrives at the location for patrol, expecting to meet Ladybug and get her reaction to him dating Lila. However, he comes face to face with Ryuko instead. She explains that she will be filling in for Ladybug while she takes something of a break. Chat pouts. Why hadn’t he been told about this sooner? Ryuko reveals that she just found out about it today. Chat makes some sort of comment to raise Ryuko’s suspicions. Chat continues to make comments to put Ryuko off, and she has just as many venomous retorts in kind. Optionally, Viperion might also appear to play peacekeeper and keep the two from going completely at each other’s throats. (I Don’t Like You) 

Returning home from patrol, Adrien sighs, and looks out over the city. For the entirety of break, Marinette is going to be out of the city, and in an entirely different timezone! As he laments how much he already misses her, we cut to Kagami also looking out over the city. The longer she stares out, the quicker she is to come to a realization - Adrien and Chat Noir are the same! Is it possible then that Marinette is actually Ladybug? That would explain a lot, especially as to why she’s been so stressed lately. However, Kagami can’t risk letting anyone knowing this information, lest Hawkmoth figure it out and target friends and loved ones. Furthermore, she’ll have to monitor the situation much more closely when Marinette returns home from China and Ladybug reclaims her earrings. (Think of Me)

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

The 25,913 Times Aspik Couldn’t Save Ladybug - chapter two

Time loops 4-9, read it on AO3!

I did the maths and if I want to finish writing this fic in under 5 years, I’ll have to average writing at least 15 loops per day. Yeah, that’s not happening. So I guess this fic is gonna take me like 50 years to write, and to be honest, I’m fine with that.

iv.

 This time, Adrien was more cautious. He couldn’t let himself become distracted and forget to protect Ladybug. They were a team, after all! They had to look out for each other. If he was too busy cuddling up with her to defend against Desperada, well, that was his fault then. He was determined not to let it happen again.

Ladybug was speaking to him, but he barely listened. He’d heard it all before already. Not even waiting for her to finish, he took her hand and began walking down the tunnel, turning a different way at the end to what they had done last time. A new path was their best bet at staying safe.

“Adrien?” Ladybug was saying, surprised. “What happened? Shouldn’t we wait for Chat Noir?”

Aw, she still wanted him to be with them. Well, other him. But he shook his head. “This is the fourth time, Ladybug. He didn’t show up the other times so there’s no point waiting.”

“You mean you already went back in time four times?”

“Three, technically...”

“What happened?”

He could barely turn his head back to look her in the eye, guilt creeping up his insides. “I couldn’t protect you. You got hit by Desperada.”

Her eyes widened.

“But I won’t let it happen this time,” he said quickly. “I won’t be so careless. We’ll defeat her this time, you’ll see.”

She smiled. “You’re right Adrien...”

“Call me Aspik.”

“Oh! Aspik – that’s a nice superhero name!”

He willed himself not to blush, and looked forward again to look for any sign of exit. Surely they must be far enough away from Desperada now.

There! Another ladder to an exit. A much safer route, hopefully.

 -

 Out on the surface again, Adrien kept a close eye out for Desperada. Ladybug seemed to sense it, and she too behaved a little more cautiously – keeping low to the ground, eyes darting from side to side, light tread.

It was all for nothing.

As they passed under an archway, Desperada was waiting for them on the other side and shot Ladybug.

Oh for goodness’ sake!

Adrien hid back behind the arch as quick as he could. “Not again!!”

How had that even happened? They were being careful that time! And yet somehow Desperada had managed to catch them unawares!

No, that time had been bad luck. It was neither of their faults. There had been no silly flirting, no getting distracted, no flowers, no hugs. Just the two of them carefully creeping around, the way Adrien often did with her as Chat Noir.

So how unlucky could they have been for this to happen?

It was just so fast. It had happened before he could even react. Not even time to blink.

This whole thing, really, so fast paced – why couldn’t the bracelet have a 10 minute limit, instead of 5? That would make things a lot easier, or at least give him a moment to rest.

But as it was, he had no time to rest at all. Desperada was right round the corner from him, and he was probably next up on her hit list. He couldn’t stay here.

Flicking the bracelet, he went back in time.

 -

 v.

 Back to the beginning once more.

“We now have five minutes–”

“I know, and this is the fifth time,” he said.

“What?”

“This is the fifth time I'm trying this. We already failed the last four times.”

Ladybug covered her mouth in surprise. “We failed? What happened?”

“You... you kept getting hit by Desperada,” Adrien admitted, as painful as it was to say. “I couldn't prevent it.”

“So you must have been fighting non-stop for almost 15 minutes now...” She smiled and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Don't worry though. Every time you reset, so do your energy levels. From what I know about it, you could keep resetting for days and not even need to eat or sleep!”

Adrien involuntarily recoiled in shock. Ladybug quickly backtracked and laughed it off.

“Not that you'll be stuck resetting for days, of course! Haha, no way... We'll do it this time. You must have learnt from what we did last time that failed, right? Now we can do it properly. Just lead the way!”

Adrien glanced down at the bracelet. The two of them had already been talking for a fair amount of time, standing here for longer than they had done in the other loops. There wasn't all that much time left. But then again, rushing into things wasn't the best course of action – and they couldn't rely on blind luck either, or Desperada would get them every time.

“Maybe it's better to think things through and form a plan,” he suggested. “Like you always do.”

She beamed at him. “Are you a fan of me?”

“Of course I am! Who isn't?”

“Aw Adrien, that's so sweet...”

“Call me Aspik.”

He had said it a few times already by now, and he hadn't yet tired of seeing the look of delight on her face. No matter how many times he had to reset, he was pretty sure he would be sticking with this name.

There were footsteps from behind them. Adrien tensed up, wondering how Desperada could possibly have got down here so quick – until he heard a familiar voice, and one that definitely wasn't Desperada.

“Ladybug?”

They both turned to see that it was none other than Luka Couffaine, who Adrien had put safely inside a locker ages ago.

Well no, not ages ago – barely five minutes ago. But having gone through four resets already, it had certainly felt like ages. Anyway, what was this boy doing wandering around during an akuma attack?!

“It's dangerous to be here, you should go hide somewhere!” Adrien said.

“I came out to look for Adrien,” Luka said, walking up to him and Ladybug. “I thought he was hiding with me but I don't know where he went... Did you find him, Ladybug?”

Adrien already knew what it felt like to be standing right in front of someone who didn't recognize him – it happened all the time with Chat Noir. But it was surreal to experience it as Aspik too.

“Don't worry about that,” Ladybug said quickly. “Aspik is right – you should hide. It may not be safe here.”

For a few seconds Luka just stared at Adrien – well, “Aspik" – almost frowning slightly. Then his mouth dropped open. “Adrien? Is that you?”

Wait, what?!

“Of course not!” he gabbled. “I’m Aspik, and I - I've never heard of Adrien Agreste in my life–”

Luka was not looking even remotely convinced. But come on! It was so easy to hide his identity as Chat Noir! Why was he so bad at doing it as Aspik?

And how the hell had Luka worked it out?!

“I won't tell anyone,” Luka promised. “It's just that Ladybug was looking for Adrien, and now you're here, and you sound kind of like him, and... I'll keep it a secret, I won't tell...”

“Oh, you won't get a chance to tell,” Ladybug said, hands on her hips inannoyance. “Aspik, reset the loop.”

Adrien looked at her. “What, now? We haven't tried to defeat Desperada yet!”

“There's no point. Your identity has to stay a secret. Reset the loop, and next time don't talk to Luka!”

Right, right, made sense...

“What time loop?” Luka asked.

Hey, he was going to forget it in a few seconds, no point keeping it from him. “I can reset back to the time I first activated my power,” Adrien explained, holding up his wrist to show Luka the bracelet. “You won't remember any of it. And neither will Ladybug.”

Ladybug nodded. “That's right. Next time, perhaps we should leave this tunnel sooner so that we don't bump into Luka. How about that way?” She pointed up at the ladder beside her, but Adrien shook his head.

“Desperada's waiting up there with a sniper weapon. She'll spot us, and you'll get hit again. We've already tried some of the other tunnel exits too. I guess we'll have to just keep looking for new exits and hoping that one's our lucky break...”

“Well you have a better idea than me, so use it to your advantage. Next time we'll do it right!”

Luka looked as if he wanted to say something, but he kept his mouth shut as he often did. That guy always seemed to know when was the right time to speak up and when to be quiet. Right now, with not much time left on the bracelet, talking much more wasn't going to accomplish anything.

Adrien gave the two of then a quick nod, then flicked the bracelet.

 -

 vi.

 Materializing in front of Ladybug again, Adrien didn't waste any time. He took her arm and began running down the tunnel. “We have to get away from here before Luka shows up, or he'll figure out my identity!”

Ladybug immediately worked out what was going on. “Is that what happened last time?”

“Yep. And we need to find an exit we haven't used before. Desperada has a scope on her weapon and can see a huge distance away, plus she's up on the Eiffel Tower. We have to find somewhere she won't see us. Just follow me.”

“Of course, Adrien...”

“And call me Aspik!”

He couldn't help grinning. How many times by now had he told her to call him Aspik? Hopefully he'd never tire of it.

But even as he turned his attention back to the matter at hand, his mind began to wander. After all, it had been 20 minutes or so, and staying focused for so long was starting to take a toll on his brain, even if his “energy levels" did reset along with the timeline.

How did Ladybug know all of that about the snake, anyway? The Guardian had probably told her. He seemed to tell her a lot of things. But then again, how would anyone know about the energy levels resetting, unless... unless someone had physically experienced it before?

Adrien shuddered. To think that someone, at some point in history, had used these powers and failed over and over, so many times that it lasted longer than an entire day for them, and they didn't even need to eat or sleep, they just had to keep endlessly trying until they succeeded in their task...

That sounded like the worst kind of torture.

Heck, even five resets was getting tedious enough. Adrien very much hoped that this would be over soon. He did not want to have to go through an entire day of this. He already knew how to be a superhero so surely there was no way it could take anywhere near that long.

Right?

 -

 They clambered out of a new exit this time, Adrien making sure that they were out of sight of the Eiffel Tower first. It seemed to be deserted for now – good.

As they hid behind a car, Ladybug seemed to be moving in to lean against him again, like she had done a few loops ago behind the bus. Reluctantly, Adrien moved away. As much as he would just love to hold her that close again, he couldn't let himself be distracted. And he couldn't let Ladybug be distracted either!

“Did Desperada always attack from the Eiffel Tower?” Ladybug whispered.

“No, sometimes she's been down here on the street.”

“So... she could be anywhere?”

Adrien nodded. Ladybug stepped forward and stood in front of him, yoyo spinning round in preparation.

“I'll protect you, don't worry,” she said, her voice filled with determination.

“But it's supposed to be me protecting you! You're the one who's been hit every time...”

“That's a good thing! If I get hit, you can always reset everything and try again. But what would I do if you got hit? That would be the end of things! It's good that she keeps going for me first. It always gives you a chance to escape.”

Huh... she was right. And that intense look she was giving him, it was enough to melt him on the spot...

“Don't worry about a thing, Aspik. I will always protec–”

She didn't get to finish. From up on the roof of the building, Desperada shot her.

Adrien leapt right back down the hole into the sewer tunnel, barely stopping to think.

Come on... again??? This was ridiculous!

“Having fun there?”

Oh, and Plagg was here too, watching all that. Adrien had almost forgotten about him, having not seen him for a few loops in a row now.

“I got unlucky, I just need more time,” he replied.

“How many times will you get unlucky?”

“None. I'll do it next time.”

Plagg yawned. “If you say so...”

Conscious that Desperada might follow him down here at any moment, Adrien flicked the bracelet.

 -

 vii.

 “We now have five minutes–”

Adrien ignored her and pulled her down the tunnels again, trying to remember which direction he had gone in last time so that he could try somewhere else now. If only he had done this consistently from the start! Had he gone left here, or right? It was starting to blur together a bit in his memory.

As they ran, he decided it might be worth explaining a few things. “Ladybug, Desperada is excellent at tracking us down and keeps hitting you before I can do anything about it. Chat Noir never shows up. If Luka sees me, he'll recognize me as Adrien. But you can call me Aspik.”

“Aspik... that's a lovely name!”

The blood rushed up to his cheeks before he could stop it, and he almost didn't care. The most important thing for now was finding a way to defeat Desperada, not hiding his huge crush on Ladybug!

“Desperada aims for you, not me,” he continued. “That's why I keep surviving.”

“Well that's a good thing! And it's because she needs my earrings, to give them to Hawk Moth, whereas she doesn't know who you are...”

That much was true. No matter what else happened, Adrien could count on the fact that Desperada would always attack Ladybug first. After all, she had no idea that Adrien could reset it whenever he wanted. So she would leave him alone and go for Ladybug, meaning he would always be able to escape...

It was honestly so weird being the survivor for once. He couldn't even count how many times he had sacrificed himself for Ladybug back as Chat Noir – those times, it was Ladybug who needed to stay in action at all costs. He was usually the “expendable" one. Having it be the other way round now, well... it didn't feel good.

And watching Ladybug being hit over and over didn't feel good either...

He had made his promise, though, his promise to keep trying until he could get it right. No matter what it took. He had vowed to protect Ladybug, and he wouldn't break that vow for anything.

 -

 Up on the surface, they were in a much smaller alleyway to the side of the main road now. Thank goodness. There was way more cover here, they were far less likely to be ambushed.

“Now what?” Ladybug asked. “Any plans on how to defeat Desperada?”

Adrien held up his weapon. “Well I have this lyre thing, I could throw it like a boomerang at her...”

Ladybug chuckled. “Good idea! Have you tried it yet?”

“No, I haven't had a chance, since Desperada keeps finding us before we can find her...”

“Hmm. We need to think of a way to track her down. That way it's us who’ll have the element of surprise!”

“Yeah!”

He suddenly noticed with alarm that their voices had been creeping up in volume, emboldened by their hiding spot undercover. It was only the fact that his words were echoing around between the walls that warned him how loud they were being – and once again, it was too late.

As soon as Adrien spotted Desperada at the end of the alleyway, he didn't even watch as Ladybug was vaporized. He simply rolled his eyes and flicked the bracelet.

 -

 viii.

 No paying attention, as usual he grabbed Ladybug's arm and ran. There was no time for anything else.

Which way was it again? This way? That way? He had been here just a few minutes ago, but all these tunnels looked the same!

“Eighth time,” he muttered to Ladybug.

“You've reset eight times already?!”

“Seven times, technically.”

For several seconds she was stunned into silence, before finally thinking of something to say. “Well, uh, eight's a lucky number, right?”

“So is seven and we still failed that one...”

She didn't ask him any further questions, opting to just quietly follow him. Did he sound frustrated? Yeah, he probably did. He was frustrated! But he hoped that she realized that he wasn't frustrated at her, no, far from it. If anything, it was himself he was mad at. For failing so much. He was mad at Desperada too, for winning every time so far.

And most of all, he was mad at Hawk Moth for putting them into this stupid situation in the first place!

 -

 Up on the surface, instead of staying in one place and hiding, they ran down the street as fast as they could. At least this way they wouldn't be sitting ducks.

“So what happened the first seven times?” Ladybug asked him as they ran, seeming genuinely curious.

Where to even begin? “Desperada killed you a bunch, Luka found out my identity, the–”

“Wait wait wait – I DIED?!”

“Well no, she didn't actually kill you! She hit you and you got trapped in her – her – her thing that she's trapping everyone in...”

What was the word? His brain... oh god, his brain was getting sluggish, he had been on-edge for far too long. He tried to do the mental calculation in his head to figure out how long it had been. Come on, 7 × 5, it wasn't that hard...

“35!” he said in triumph.

“Uh... what?”

“35 minutes so far I've spent in the loops. Assuming about 5 minutes per loop, that is. Though some of them maybe took less time than that.”

“Um... right.”

Ladybug was still frowning at him as if he was slightly crazy, and to be honest, yelling out random numbers in the middle of the street probably did give off that effect. But hey, his head was starting to buzz from being stuck in this stressful situation for over half an hour now. Some maths was just what he needed to keep his wits sharp.

And clearly his wits were currently very blunt, because he didn't even notice Desperada aiming a shot at Ladybug until it was too late.

No! Not again!

He darted behind a nearby car, temper rising. He really thought they'd get away this time, or at least have some time to actually think and make a plan together! But no...

Ugh. Desperada was going to haunt his dreams tonight, he was sure of it.

Before Plagg could pop up and start making snide comments again, Adrien flicked the bracelet.

 -

 ix.

 “I know, I know, we now have five minutes,” Adrien huffed. Ladybug clapped her hands with glee.

“You can read my mind!”

“No, it's just that this is the ninth time I'm hearing you say it.”

Her face fell. “So we've already failed several times?”

“Yep.”

Her eyes were downcast. “Was it... was it my fault?”

“What? No! No way, of course not!” He tried to smile at her, as much of a bad mood as he was in. “Sorry if I sound annoyed, I'm just... I'm not mad at you, I promise.”

“Just frustrated at failing a lot?”

“Heh, seems like you're the one who can read my mind.”

She returned his smile. “Well we'll try to do better this time, Adrien.”

“Call me Aspik.”

“Aspik? Oh, that's a wonderful name for a superhero!”

He grinned for real this time. Then he looked down at the bracelet ticking away on his wrist – Luka would probably show up shortly, and he couldn't have that! He grabbed Ladybug's arm and ran with her through the tunnels.

Along the way, he tried to do some mental maths to keep himself occupied, since these drab sewer walls weren’t doing anything to keep him entertained. How many resets in an hour? A day? A week? A month?

 -

 They were out on the surface again before he triumphantly yelled out the answers.

“12! 288! About 2,000! About 9,000!”

“Shhh!” Ladybug pulled him behind a nearby van. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m bored,” he admitted. “I worked out that 12 resets takes me about an hour, 288 resets takes me a day–”

“Shhh,” she said again, though more gently this time, putting a finger to his lips. “It won’t take us that long. Okay?”

As much as his brain hadn’t been fully functioning before, it certainly wasn’t fully functioning right now, when she was doing that to him... Did she know what an effect it had?

Reluctantly, he pushed her hand away. This was no time for distractions. “Ladybug, if I keep this up I think I might go nuts...”

“You won’t need to! We’ll defeat Desperada this time!”

There was a maniacal cackle from somewhere behind them. “OH WILL YOU?”

Adrien turned just in time to see Ladybug shot right through the heart yet again.

Desperada’s laughter was ringing in his ears. He didn’t even move, he simply flicked the bracelet once more, cursing her under his breath.

Well, if this was going to keep happening, he was going to get extremely bored extremely fast. If he wanted to actually defeat Desperada then he needed new ideas.

He needed to get creative.

Closing his eyes as time rewound around him, he allowed himself a little smile.

From here on, anything went. No need to be sensible or professional about it. After all, if they failed then no one would remember it, right? And if they didn’t fail then, well, Ladybug would be proud of him for coming up with something crazy that actually worked.

Yeah. Now things were gonna get interesting.

[journeysintowebcomics]

Stand Still Stay Silent Liveblog #86

UPDATE 86: Gone

Last time the ghosts had managed to move on, all thanks to a pastor who stayed behind to help those unfortunate stray souls. This was an action of cataclysmic proportions in this church, and now it’s time for them to go outside and find out what happened. Are they safe? They certainly are, at least from ghosts. Let’s continue.

You know, it’s nice that despite the pile of terrible events and consequences in the last couple hundred pages, there’s still space for something nice happening. I’m very glad about it.

The three crewmembers and the cat step out, to the church. Sigrun is walking in front, rifle at the ready, in case anything came during the night. There’s nothing! The church is in ruins now, but there are no hostile creatures anywhere. Or...even friendly ones.

Hm...I for one am glad the pastor’s troll form is dead. I was somewhat unsure if anything would happen to it, if maybe once her consciousness moved on to heaven her troll body would take over and be hostile, but nope. Maybe by design because it wasn’t holding the church anymore, or maybe because of luck, that beam crushed its head...I think. It crushed something, regardless!

Sigrun is pleased with Reynir, glad the civilian that butted into the mission by hiding in a food crate turned out to be real useful. If he hadn’t been around to talk with the pastor or even know what to do about the ghosts, I’m pretty sure the crew would have been dead by now. And this is when he’s a beginner! If he gets some training, I’m sure he can be quite the force to be reckoned! Way to go, Reynir!

Regardless, it’s time to move on, and continue the trip towards the picking-up point. Now that they have no ghosts tailing them, there’s one thing less to worry about. Now they only have to be wary of the mutant huge creatures trying to kill them horribly and painfully! Jolly!

Once Reynir confirms there’s nothing else to worry about, Mikkel reminds him to not stray far. He says he won’t, because there’s no reason anymore.

Reynir done good. He can be proud. It’s great when characters go through the wringer and come out better than before. Heh, maybe his family won’t be so upset with him for escaping if he tells them he learned magic!

And so, they walk away from the church, with their spirits lifted high – no pun intended – and a spring to their step. They’re doing well, they have succeeded at something, and it’s only matter of time before they arrive to their meeting point. Happy day!

On the other hand, there’s the other half of the crew, not having a fun time at all. Emil’s staring at the screen like he wants help right now. Hang tight, Emil, there are around seventy pages left. Help should come at some point!

Contrary to what you may expect, Emil and Lalli don’t appear right away. We’re still with Sigrun, Mikkel and Reynir, who finally arrived to the meeting point. Looks like a pretty safe place to me, the only thing to be worried about is any whale trolls that may come to attack, but what are the odds that’ll happen?

Too high given this is a fictional story and therefore trouble is bound to happen, but I’m crossing my fingers and hoping they’ll be fine.

The cat indicates everything is just fine, no trolls hiding anywhere. They’ll get to settle down and make sure the books they gathered will be safe and sound. Personally I’m rather nervous about the amount of water around here. It’s not impossible that wheelbarrow of books will fall into the sea. That’d be a terrible move, because it’d mean the whole trip – and Tuuri’s death – gets no results. Here’s to hope no such thing happens!

Mikkel will go try to make some food with whatever little provisions they have left. Or perhaps not, because he stumbles upon a pile of food. Oh hey Reynir, look at that, all the fish cans you threw out somehow got all the way over here, haha! Or not, because Mikkel says it’s a decade old. Whatever these are I’m sure is surstromming by now, what with having fermented here for a decade. Reynir seems to like it because it’s not made by Mikkel, though. Hey, Sigrun, eat fish.

Well she’s not wrong, even if she doesn’t know that. It may be intuition! Or faith that Lalli and Emil wouldn’t roll over and die. Perhaps even both. The point is that Sigrun has a feeling they’re still out there, fighting to survive, and they left them behind.

Now, I’m not saying there weren’t any reasons to believe something awful had happened to them, but I don’t remember anything in particular that indicated they had died. They found troll remains, they found that huge unfrozen lake/sea/whatever it was, and got to the conclusion they perished in a fight with a troll. True, a troll that size wouldn’t randomly die and crash into frozen water, but...it doesn’t seem to me that they have considered at all their missing crewmembers may have taken a different route. I mean, it’s pretty obvious they didn’t cross the frozen expanse before it broke, because they didn’t stumble upon them when they backtracked, but it’s not like the road they were on is the only road in existence in that direction.

Then again, Tuuri had just died, less than a day before. I can understand they immediately thought tragedy had struck again. It is now that they had time to process the situation and rest somewhat at least one of them is considering things may not be as bleak as they seemed. Pretty unlikely they’ll go out there to search for their missing crewmembers, though. That’d be just too dangerous, especially since all they have is a hunch Sigrun admits is born from sentimentality.

Also, Mikkel is skeptical as always. Pshaw, Sigrun, what do you mean you feel it in your heart? Harrumph!

Reynir is thinking of their missing partners too, thinking to himself how he hopes they’re alive, but Lalli isn’t anywhere in his dream turf. Hmmmm...what happens to their dream terrain when a mage dies? Does it wilt, or does it fade away? If so, then the fact it’s still present and intact should be a good hint Lalli is alive! Not that Reynir would know, really. He’s not aware of the intricacies of magic, and the one guy who could explain doesn’t want to see him.

Without a sign Lalli and Emil are fine, Reynir thinks to himself he needs to accept they’re deceased and gone. This is when the scene changes to Emil, currently exhausted from another day of dragging Lalli around. Hopefully this time he won’t get any migraines when he encounters the trolls, what happened last time was terrifying.

But that’ll have to be for next time.

Next time: in six updates

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Sixteen: Renovate ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

“Well...here we are.” Turning the key, Sasuke lets the engine come to a standstill, the hum of the car now quiet. Dark eyes gaze through the windshield at the imposing building before them.

It almost seems to stare back.

“...this is it…?”

“Mhm. It’s been…” How long has it been…? “...well, a long time. Too long. But after they died...we moved into the city with our aunt and cousin. So this place sat empty from then on.”

The pair sit in silence for a moment before Sasuke unbuckles his seatbelt. “Well...should we get out and look around…?”

Hinata nods, doing the same. Doors click to open and then shut as they leave the vehicle behind. “So this is where you grew up…?”

“Partially. I was seven when our parents died. Almost eight. I have quite a few memories here, but just as many - if not more - with my aunt and her son.”

She gives a thoughtful hum, staring up at the old house with pale, inquisitive eyes. “...so why now?”

“Huh?”

“Why come back here now? Did...something happen?”

“Not really. It’s just been on my mind lately.”

“Your brother doesn’t want it…?”

“Nah, he’s happy where he’s at. Besides, he has a steady job where they’re living now. And with two kids already, he’s not fond of the idea of packing everybody up and moving.”

“Ah, that’s a good point. This place is so big...do you really need that much room…?”

“Well...we might need this much room.”

Her gaze snaps to him. “...I…?”

“C’mon, Hinata.” Sasuke manages a soft yet teasing smile. “It’s gonna happen one of these days, right? We’ve been dating almost four years now...think it might be time to move in together?”

“But this place is...is huge! And -!”

“I’m not moving in tomorrow - it’s gonna need a lot of work before anyone can live in it. It’s been sitting empty for over a decade now. Think of it more like...my eventual forever home. Work on it bit by bit, and by the time I’m ready to settle down...it’ll be here. All spruced up and ready to be lived in again.”

Hinata stares at him, clearly a bit taken aback. “I...I g-guess that makes sense…” Her gaze then averts, flushing a light pink. “And you...you really see me here with you…? When that happens?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, true: we’re each the other’s first long-term relationship, but...doesn’t that kinda hint that maybe we made good choices?”

“...I guess so. It just seems, um...far in the future.”

“...do you not want -?”

“N-no! That’s - that’s not what I mean!” Hinata quickly backtracks, waving desperate hands. “I just…! I guess I...just haven’t thought that far ahead…”

“Well one of us has to,” he rebukes, but not without a grin as she pouts at him. “C’mon, I’ll give you a tour.”

Taking out a keyring his aunt gave him, Sasuke unlocks the front door. The inside is bare: any and all furniture was sold after his aunt moved them out. Flicking a light switch does nothing, which...he honestly predicted. “Guess we’ll have to settle with opening curtains, huh?”

The house is old, modeled after styles of a bygone era. Paper screens and sliding doors, tatami mats and big beams. And rooms upon rooms upon rooms.  Many of the screens are discolored, a few torn...doors askew from their tracks, and a few tatami mats have holes in them. Whether rotten or mouse-chewed, he’s not sure. Note one: hire an exterminator, just in case.

“Watch your step.”

As they walk, Sasuke can’t help but see ghosts on memories play out: furniture reappears in his mind’s eye, his brother and parents walking around as though part of a shaky film reel. Warm Summer light makes the walls shine gold and the air smell sweet.

For a moment, he finds himself immersed in the past.

“...Sasuke…?”

A blink, and it’s gone. “...sorry. Just, uh...remembering.”

They continue on, Sasuke pointing out the purpose of each room. “This one was mine.” A door opens to a small, quaint bedroom. “Kinda undersized now though, huh?”

“A little, yes,” she can’t help but agree with a light laugh.

The back door opens into an overgrown, Winter-sleeping garden. Ice clings to the banks of an ornamental stream.

“This place is amazing...and yet so sad…”

“Yeah...it’s been in the family for generations.” A hand gestures. “Think you could work your magic out here, miss botanist?”

Hinata gives him a look, stepping out into the gravel. “...I can see it was once very beautiful.”

“Both my mom and her sister were avid gardeners. Whenever she’d come visit, this is where they’d be without fail. Even in the Winter. Itachi, Shisui and I played out here all the time.”

More flickering visions of times long past bring the gardens back to life. Green and full, they were the perfect places to play hide and seek, or make believe of any kind. They were little samurai and ninja back then, fighting epic battles with paper shuriken and bamboo rod swords. Mikoto and Manami were the empresses in needing of defending. It was so long ago, and yet he can still see it all so clearly…

Kāsan…

“Oh, look!”

Snapping back to attention, Sasuke follows to where Hinata’s dug into a thicket of weeds. “See that? It’s a lily! A type that blooms in the Winter! Poor thing’s being choked out…” She starts pulling at the overgrowth, mouth set in a determined line.

“Guess I’ll leave renovating the gardens to you, huh?”

“I certainly wouldn’t mind. My mother loved flowers, too...her name even referred to them. I think that’s where I got it from.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it.”

Eventually, the short Winter day begins to darken, and Sasuke takes them back inside. “Think we better button things up.” A flashlight on his keyring clicks on.

“At least no vandals have found it.”

“Yeah, lucky. Then again it’s so off the main road, it’s a bit easy to miss.”

“Hopefully no one see us leAHH!”

Spinning around, Sasuke startles as Hinata cries out. Her foot’s gone straight through a tatami mat.

“H-help!” she laughs, holding out a hand.

“How did that not happen the first time?!”

“I don’t know!”

It’s an easy lift to free her, the pair moving closer to the walls until they reach the front door. “Okay…! I...I think that’s enough adventure for one day…!”

“You didn’t twist your ankle, did you?”

“No, no - I’m fine. It just...scared me! I w-wasn’t expecting it!”

Sasuke still looks to her critically, waiting for a stumble as an excuse to just haul her to the car himself. But they make it out without further incident, locking the door and gate back up before retreating to the vehicle.

“...well…?”

“It’s...definitely in need of some work. But I can see all the old charm to it...and the home it used to be.”

“Think you could stand to live there for the rest of your life when the time comes?”

“So long as I don’t go sinking through any more floors,” she replies with a laugh.

“...are you sure…?”

Hinata slowly sobers. “...yes. Why are you so...adamant about it…?”

Well, this isn’t exactly how he planned to do this, but… Sasuke reaches into a pocket, fiddling for a moment before pulling out a box.

Hinata’s eyes go round as the moon.

“...because I want it - and everything else in my life - to be yours, too. Including me. For all time.” There’s a small click as he opens the ring box. “Hyūga Hinata...will you marry me…?”

Staring at the piece of jewelry for a long moment, Hinata then launches across the car to embrace him as best she can in the confined space. “Yes! Y-yes, a thousand times yet!”

Dark eyes pinch shut, taking a moment to reel in the full feeling in his chest.

“...then we better get started.”

     PHEW, this is a little on the late side, but I had a long day in town today, and then things to take care of this evening! But it's not midnight yet here, so...yay!      I love love love this idea, and it came really easily to me, thankfully. Some prompts aren't that kind, haha! I want to see Sasuke reclaim his childhood home, and fill it back up with lots of SasuHina babies, heh heh~      Anywho, I've got lots still to write tonight so I'll leave it there - thanks so much for reading!

[islareeveswriting]

World of Our Own| Harry Styles Uni Au | Chapter 9

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STORY PAGE HERE

LISTEN TO Keeping Your Head Up Birdy Everyone keeps a darker place To lose control, you're not alone And when you come looking for embrace I know your soul; I'll be your home Til you can breathe on your own

Harry couldn’t remember the outgoing little boy his mum described when they were looking at old family photos. Harry couldn’t remember ever being anyone but the boy who shut himself away because of nerves and anxiety, in fear of what could potentially go wrong. He knew he did it, but knowing that didn’t make it any easier to stop it. Harry often felt like he had a steam train coming straight for him, but he was powerless to slow it down let alone cease it’s journey.

If Harry stopped to think about it, he knew there were plenty of negative outcomes that could result from the photoshoot with Rae. At best he might embarrass himself or the photos might not work. At worst she could decide to mention the kiss that both of them seemed to have silently agreed to leave in New York.

Three weeks had passed since their trip and they’d continued their friendship as if nothing had happened. It wasn’t that Harry hadn’t wanted to talk about it, he had. At the time he just kept talking himself down from it, telling himself, if Rae wanted to, she’d bring it up. Of course he didn’t know she was telling herself the same thing, not wanting to make him feel awkward or freak him out. But now they’d let three weeks pass, and aside from their own personal reasons for not bringing it up, it felt like too long had passed to do so.

Despite it all, somehow, despite even himself, that morning he’d managed to push it all to the back of his mind. Front and centre was having a great day with Rae, watching her doing what she loved, and revelling in the feeling of being chosen by her to be photographed for her project. It felt great. It was the second best feeling he knew.

Harry was typically early as he took his long legged, even strides towards the studio building Rae had told him about. He couldn’t help himself. Even when Rae had told him to meet her there, she had things to set up. Even when she assured him that she’d be fine on her own, he found himself eager to make sure he was there before he was needed. It was like the airport all over again, despite everything else, he found he wanted to put himself out there more for her than anyone else he knew.

With two coffees in his hand, he was glad the door had been left open. Inside the studio was a complete parallel to how it appeared outside. Outside it was cloaked in old red brick, slightly crumbling at the edges, flaking black paint on the doors and no windows. Indoors however, was bright white, somehow clinical. Large, heavy lights hung from the ceiling casting an almost neon-esque glow. Rae had her studio lights encircled near the centre of the room, a tripod already set up with her Canon camera, wired up to her laptop set up on a table beside the camera. Harry was a little taken back by how professional it all looked.

Rae stood from where she was crouched on the floor fiddling with leads at the sound of Harry’s feet on the polished concrete floor. She smiled up at him as she sunk her hands into the pockets of her baggy black trousers, the loose jumper tucked in at the front. She looked comfy and relaxed, as she always seemed to. It astounded Harry sometimes, that she just seemed to fit no matter the backdrop she found herself in.

‘Hey, I brought you coffee.’ Harry started, handing Rae one of the cardboard cups, full of coffee. Flat white, extra hot, the way Harry knew she liked it ordered.

‘Oh thanks,’ Rae grinned taking the cup from Harry. ‘I brought you - no wait, I didn’t bring you anything, I don’t know why I said that.’ Rae backtracked quickly, creasing her brow at herself and shaking her head. Harry hummed a quiet chuckle of endearment. At the back of his mind though was the message he had, had from her sister the previous night.

‘You ok?’ Harry asked, trying to be blase, even with the message circling around inside his head.

It was on his phone when he’d gone up to bed. It was on his bedside table charging and when he’d crawled in under the duvet, his book on his lap, he’d grabbed it to have a quick scroll before getting stuck into his latest read.

@essieobrien has sent you a private message

Harry frowned at his screen. He and Rae’s sister had been liking photos on each others Instagram feeds since Christmas. Harry had done it first by accident, liking a photo Elsie posted of Rae at the airport. Since then Elsie had gone on to like anything Harry posted and so Harry had returned the favour. He swiped it open, waiting for the message to load, a little impatiently.

Hey sorry to message, hope you’re good? I just know Rae won’t have said anything but basically its Jonah’s anniversary tomorrow and I don’t like the thought of her being on her own, cause that hasn’t happened before haha. Maybe don’t say anything unless she does, I dunno, but thought you should know and maybe you could just keep an eye on her? Xx

Hi, thanks for letting me know. Yeah I’ll definitely make sure she’s ok, don’t worry. Thanks again xx

‘Yeah, are you?’ Rae asked with furrowed, concerned eyes that didn’t match how Harry knew she might be feeling inside, knowing what he knew. Harry wondered if she was ever selfish.

‘I’m fine.’ Harry smiled with a nod before taking a sip from his coffee. ‘What’s the-’

‘Hiya, I’m here, sorry I’m late.’ The, somewhat, shrill, northern voice rang through the hollow building, echoing off the bare walls and cutting Harry’s question short. Harry watched as Rae glanced past his shoulder to where the voice was coming. A shy smile crept onto her face, her eyes flicking back to Harry for barely a second.

‘Hi Lou, how are you?’ Rae moved past Harry, Harry turning to look towards the visitor. It was clear to Harry, she wasn’t a first year student, but she wasn’t much older than them. Her hair was almost silver and her skin golden. She had a grey vest on that could have done with an iron and a pair of baggy, ripped jeans, flip flops on her feet. She looked friendly, a bright beaming smile the only real thing that caught Harry’s eye.

Harry watched on from a distance as Rae and the new girl greeted one another with a hug. Harry hadn’t seen her before, even around and he knew he’d recognise her if he had. Even so, for some reason he didn’t feel particularly nervous, not by his standards anyway.  At the pit of his stomach was something that resembled anxiety, but it wasn’t half as pointed as the anxiety Harry knew, and although it rose its head at the arrival of this new person, it quickly settled back down to being simply down to the day ahead when he saw Rae greet the stranger so happily and easily. There was serenity in her ease.

‘Harry, this is Lou, she’s here for hair and makeup.’ Rae explained with a smile that Harry could tell was nervous and he was sure he knew why.

‘Hi, nice to meet you.’ Harry extended his hand politely as he spoke, looking Lou in the eye as confidently as he could.

‘You too, I’ve heard so much about you from Rae, nice to put a face to the name.’ She grinned, something endearingly warm about her. Harry chuckled and looked to Rae who he could have sworn was blushing. ‘I’ll be with you in a sec, just gotta go to the loo.’ Lou excused herself and trotted away from Harry and Rae.

‘You coulda told me it wasn’t just the two of us, would have picked up another coffee.’ Harry pointed out nodding towards the cup in Rae’s hand that she took a tentative sip from as he spoke.

‘Sorry, I didn’t want you to get nervous before we’d even begun.’ Rae explained cautiously, spinning the cup around in her fingers and trying to look Harry in the eye but he could see she was looking just shy of them, more at his left temple than anything.

‘Don’t do that.’ Harry urged, taking a step forward, closing the unnecessary gap between them.

‘What?’ Rae questioned, with drawn in eyebrows, finally finding Harry’s eyes as her shadow of guilt turned to something like confusion. She knew she should have just told him, she realised that when she saw the way he looked at her as Lou left the room. However, she hadn’t anticipated how guilty she’d feel when he looked at her like she’d done the only thing he hoped she’d never do and walk on eggshells for his benefit.

‘Treat me like a baby bird,’ Harry all but sighed, the eye roll implicit even if it wasn’t actually there. ‘I’m a big boy.’ Harry stressed with a sarcastic smile to try ease any tension that might be there, even though Rae wasn’t feeling any.

‘But you-’

‘No, I can deal with it,’ Harry cut in, snapping slightly and immediately regretting. Harry took a sign, and fought the urge to reach out for her hand, he wasn’t sure if they did that anymore. That hadn’t been any physical connection since New York, and even though Harry missed it he’d never be the one to rekindle it, so until Rae decided to grab his hand or put her arm around him, or even kiss him again, he’d resigned to learning to go without it. ‘Just don’t please?’ Harry begged.

‘Ok, sorry.’ Rae offered genuinely with a lopsided, half smile. Harry just shook his head and chuckled, as if he could even be close to mad at her.

‘So what’s the plan?’ Harry asked, moving the conversation on before either of them could dwell on what had gone before, long enough to overthink it, even though he already knew he probably would be doing exactly that in his bed that night. Rae bobbed her head and turned on her heel towards where her lights and camera were set up, taking a sip of her coffee as she turned. Harry followed her towards the crux of the setup, virtually on her heels as he walked after her. ‘A bathtub?’ Rae chuckled and nodded.

‘Yeah, don’t panic, no nakedness required.’ Rae assured before Harry’s mind could wander. Harry was admittedly relieved with that information and tried not to sign with it. ‘You bought some old jeans right?’ Harry nodded motioning to the satchel still hanging from his shoulder. ‘Good, so if you don’t mind it’ll be shirt off job.’ Rae winced, cocking her head towards Harry as she told him about the idea for the first time.

‘You’re doing it again.’ Harry told her, raising one eyebrow as if warning a child not to touch the expensive ornament again. ‘Not a baby bird.’ He reminded her. Rae just nodded and looked back at the bath tub.

‘Lou’s gonna make you look wet, you’re gonna get in the bath, shirt off and I’m gonna take some photos kay?’ Rae listed, quickly the way she always did. Rae hadn’t done many shoots like the one she had planned with Harry, as in one with a model, but she’d found, with the few she had done, the less the model knew the better the photos came out. It was as if they weren’t trying to play a part they felt she wanted or needed, and therefore they came across as very natural and relaxed in the photos.

‘Kay.’ Harry beamed, causing Rae to chuckle.

‘Harry, you ready?’ It was that jovial, northern voice that drew them from one another. Harry looked up to Lou and nodded at her, wandering away from Rae towards Lou and begging the anxiety in him to remain subdued the way it had done so far. ‘Do you want to take a sit and pop your shirt off.’ Lou instructed motioning at the chair. Harry did as he was told dropping his bag to the floor by his feet, with his t-shirt and spare jeans, trying not to spare a thought to the fact he was half naked in front of someone he didn’t know, and Rae for the first time. Lou had her things set up on a table that looked like something Harry might have normally found in a primary school. Her set up was such a contrast to how professional it all looked as Harry walked in, it served as a reminder they were just uni kids, doing uni work.

‘So Rae, says you’re an art student.’ Lou began, picking up a brush and pushing it through Harry’s hair. Harry nodded not sure what to say at first. His anxiety had a way of convincing him he wasn’t good at social interaction even though when it came down to it, and he got over the hill of it, he coped fine and could maintain good conversation.

‘Yeah, second year.’ Harry told her. At the back of his mind he was telling himself not to focus on the initial few minutes. Harry knew the first moments were the worst for him, and he was learning to ignore them and not think about them, but just get through them to the part where it felt comfortable. For those first minutes he had to just let be what would happen and not let himself get too far into his head.

‘How’s it going?’ She asked, kindly. Harry had to wonder if Rae had warned her he wasn’t great with new people. If she didn’t know she was obviously good at reading people, if she did, she was doing well to be both sympathetic to him, but not appearing to feel sorry for him.

‘Not so bad, more stressful than first year.’ Harry laughed closing his eyes as something was sprayed into his hair. Harry wasn’t sure why Lou was working on him so efficiently. Surely if Rae needed Harry to look wet he could just dip himself under the bath water, but Harry was aware Lou and Rae definitely knew better than him. ‘Are you at uni?’

‘Yeah, third year though.’ Lou explained beginning to work on Harry’s face. He closed his eyes as she did so, tilting his chin to move his face towards the light a bit. ‘And at the make up school.’ Lou added with a little laugh.

The pair continued to chat as Lou finished up with Harry. Harry felt mentally more relaxed, physically he’d been making sure he looked as relaxed as possible from the moment he sat down. Slowly, though, the urge to find his ring or tug on sleeves he wasn’t wearing, dispersed. He found himself laughing naturally with Lou and not using it as a shield to hide anxiety, because it wasn’t there.

Harry was subconsciously aware that that he didn’t normally feel so calm so quickly around new people. For a while he’d been aware he felt different, he didn’t feel so on edge all the time. Although nerves and anxiety was still a battle for him, there were more mornings than normal when he woke and his heart wasn’t already racing inside his chest for no apparent reason. Less Sunday nights were spent chewing his nails until they were raw, not really focusing on his politics show at all.

Before Harry could even get to thinking about what had happened to cause the change, Lou was humming in satisfaction and smiling happily at him, her eyes scanning over his hair and face. He knew that look, he was sure it was how he looked when he finished a page in his sketchbook that he was happy with.

‘We’re done Rae, wanna come check.’ Lou called still admiring her masterpiece. Harry looked over to Rae though, watched her push herself up from where she was crouched on the floor fiddling with wires, and wander over to Lou and himself. Rae stood next to Lou, looking like the antithesis of the blonde haired, slight, woman. A gentle smile crept onto her face as she looked over Harry, and Harry tried not to blush reminding himself it was Lou’s work that was making her smile. ‘Ok?’

‘Yes, it’s perfect, thank you.’ Rae grinned looking to her friend for a second, but quickly looking back to Harry still grinning flicking her eyes over his hair that Lou had made look wet, styling it in such a way that he looked like he’d got out of the bath. She hadn’t done much to his face, but it looked glossy and damp, the sheen visible in the light. Rae caught his eye quickly though, her smile only getting bigger when she did so. ‘Do you wanna go and put those old jeans on, there’s a toilet through there.’ Rae told Harry, still smiling as always, and pointing towards the back of the room.

Harry nodded and walked towards the door Rae had pointed to. As the door of the single toilet closed behind him, he felt nerves erupt inside his stomach. They rose up from the pit of his tummy like flames from embers that had been smouldering away. They’d been there the whole time, simmering, but now he was alone with only his mind and without Rae to focus on, they boiled over and made him feel like he was teetering on the edge of something he should fear.

With hands threatening to shake, he undid the belt of his everyday, black jeans and pushed them down his legs. Harry stood in front of the mirror over the small sink, staring at himself. He was focused so hard on reasoning with himself and rationalising the day ahead, that he didn’t even really notice the small pink petals dotted in his hair. The sink took his weight as he leant on it, gripping at the cold porcelain until his knuckles turned white. He breathed in until his lungs were so full they felt like they might burst through his ribcage, and his throat ached with the need to release the air. He let it through his slightly parted lips, painfully slowly, counting down from ten as he did so.

He was going to be ok. I’m going to be ok. It’s going to be ok. Harry reassured himself silently in his head, staring into his own eyes in the mirror and not flinching away from the confident words repeating in his mind, in his voice.

Harry took one more of the painstakingly even, deep breaths he’d trained himself into doing. When he felt completely out of control of everything, when he was in a situation that put him on edge, it helped him to feel completely in control of his breath and how far he could push his body. What made him feel worse was when he felt people could sense his anxiety and it was making them uncomfortable. Therefore it was important for him, to at worst keep it hidden behind smiles and laughter, but at best to have it so under control it was hard for him to notice let alone someone else looking on.

Once he’d pulled on the old blue jeans that had been stuffed to the back of his underwear drawer, kept for any occasion that might mean he got dirty, Harry left the toilet. Lou and Rae were around the laptop, Rae stood up and Lou sat beside her on the long legged stool. Rae was talking, Lou looking up to her with a twisted neck, looking a little concerned as she nodded at Rae’s words. Harry couldn’t hear a word of what they were saying, but the way they fell silent and quickly looked to him when they heard his footsteps made him think they might have been talking about him.

Without him wanting it, his mind fell to New York and their kiss. He hadn’t told anyone, and suddenly his heart was beating with the fear that she’d just told Lou. Despite their smiles, he couldn’t help but feel under a spotlight he knew only he could see. It made him want to tell Niall, but he knew that was very different to Rae telling Lou, even if she had, and at the back of his mind he knew she probably hadn’t. Rae wasn’t like that. Even so, Harry felt suddenly isolated. Who could he talk to about what was going on inside him when he saw her smile, saw her name flash on his phone or was in her proximity, when his best friend was her best friend?

Harry didn’t let himself dwell, he self-regulated his thoughts they way he so often did, pulling himself in and away from the feelings rolling around inside. He pushed a smile on and reminded himself of the calm feeling he’d managed to find in the bathroom, the bliss of the deep breaths and the relief of letting the air out of his lungs and his own pace. Slowly he talked himself down from the hyper aware state he felt like he was in. The anxiety that was always just around the corner for him, would not ruin this for Rae, and for once he wouldn’t let it ruin it for him either, he was determined of that.

‘Ok?’ Rae asked moving away from the laptop and delving her hands into her pockets again. Harry nodded as he chucked his jeans to the floor where his bag and t-shirt lie next to the makeup chair.  ‘Great, well hop in and we’ll get started.’ Rae instructed with a smile. Harry was acutely aware of Lou’s presence as he stepped into the bath. The water inside was pink and a floral display was floating inside it, the leaves and petals shifting abruptly as Harry moved the water and sunk into it, glad the water was warm. ‘Is that warm enough?’ Rae called from behind him.

‘Yeah it’s good.’ Harry assured, getting himself comfortable.

‘Ok, good, shout if you start to get cold though and we’ll break and warm it back up.’ Harry nodded as Rae reached his side again, camera in hand. Harry was curious about the colour of the water but chose not to ask, instead focusing wholly on on being exactly and whatever Rae needed him to be.

‘Just relax, just going to do a few test shots, completely chill yeah?’ Rae reassured kneeling beside the bath, getting comfortable on her knees whilst she held Harry’s eyes. He nodded again, relaxing, not letting the nerves inside him (whatever was causing them) distract from what Rae was saying or her comforting tone of voice.

Harry was looking down at his legs and was distantly aware of the camera shutter sound in the background as Rae moved around in his peripheral vision. The more times the camera clicked the more the butterflies wound up inside him. Harry saw Rae stand up from how she was crouched, his eyes followed after her, scanning her from behind, not being able to stop himself from swallowing down on nothing as he watched her hips swing. He was fully aware the stirring inside of him was moving on from more than just a crush, but he was more than fully aware sat in the bath then was not the time to think about it.

As Rae stood at the laptop, her fingers flicking against the trackpad, Harry saw the smile lift the corners of her lips. Nervous anticipation had kept him on edge all morning, not knowing how the photo shoot would go played right into his anxiety’s hands. However, as he saw the content smile on Rae’s face, a smile he was getting to know very well, he felt more relaxed than when he’d stood in front of the mirror taking long, deep, even breaths.

‘They look great Harry.’ Rae beamed, looking up from the screen to meet Harry’s gaze the way she so often did. Harry smiled and let his eyes linger on her unashamedly, the way he regularly caught her doing with him, as she walked back towards him.

‘Are your necklaces gonna be ok?’ Rae asked motioning towards the silver chains that were always around his neck.

‘Yeah they’ll be fine don’t worry.’ Harry told her looking back down at the water now she was next to him.

‘Ok, well just in case.’ Rae murmured, picking up the necklaces and twisting them around his neck so they lay across his back. Harry shivered at the soft brush of her fingertips, but Rae was too focused on the pendants to notice. She’d never been close enough to really see them. Of course she’d noticed the cross that never seemed to come off, but now she also saw the lotus flower engraved into the square piece of silver that hung from the longer necklace. Harry rolled his shoulders and the cross fell back over his shoulders but the lotus stayed facing her and Rae tilted her head at it, deciding to leave the jewellery be.

‘If you just put your head forward,’ Rae directed, moving his head gently with her hand. ‘I’m gonna pour some water over you, ok?’ Harry nodded and closed his eyes as he heard a surge of water from behind him and then began to feel water crashing over his head and pouring over him. Harry could hear the camera shutter clicking incessantly, but was sure his eyes closed wasn’t the look Rae was going for. Harry lifted his hands to his eyes, rubbing the water out of them with his long fingers. Rae was stood to the front of him rather than behind, when he looked up mouth slightly agape, for some reason a little breathless.

‘Look at the water,’ Rae smiled, crouching again. ‘Sink down a bit.’ Harry heard the camera click. Suddenly he was feeling on edge but he had no idea why. The camera clicked and butterflies erupted inside him, each time more ferocious than the first. He should have known it couldn’t last long. ‘Relax.’ Rae breathed, reaching out for his arm and gripping his bicep loosely. Harry looked up to catch her eyes and she had that gentle, somewhat homely smile on her face. Rae tilted her head at Harry and everything inside him calmed back down. Rae let go of Harry’s arm and he looked back down at the water. The camera clicked again, but this time no butterflies.

‘I want one of just his eye, but I don’t want that water to get in his eye, can you do something?’ Rae asked turning to Lou, and it made Harry wonder, yet again, how the water was pink.

‘Sure.’ Harry could hear Lou busying herself from behind him, but he didn’t look to her instead looked Rae up and down as she sunk down onto her bum and crossed her legs. Rae, as always, was already looking at him and smiling sweetly up to him. ‘Ok?’ She asked silently and Harry just gave her a reassuring nod and smile, because he was now.

‘Close your eyes for me hun.’ Lou asked kneeling in front of Harry. He did as he was told and felt single droplets fall onto the skin under his eye. ‘Open.’ Harry did so. ‘Ok just relax.’ Harry tried, but winced quickly at the sight of a mascara stick coming towards his eye. Harry heard Rae chuckle and threw her an offended look.

‘Hey, don’t laugh.’ Harry pouted.

‘Just relax Harry, it’s not going in your eye.’ Rae laughed moving closer to him and Lou. It didn’t matter how many times it happened, Harry could never get his head around how she made him feel so on edge with something but simultaneously so easy.

‘I’d hope not.’ Harry exclaimed causing both Lou and Rae to laugh as Lou reached out to hold Harry’s head still so she could brush the clear mascara onto his lashes without him jolting back again.

‘Good?’ Lou asks reclining back a little.

‘Perfect, thanks.’ Lou smiled happily and grabbed her things wandering away as Rae turned her attention back to Harry. ‘Just look right at the lens,’ Harry swallowed and looked straight down the barrel of Rae’s lens. Despite the huge piece of technology between them, Harry was sure he could see her dark brown, hot chocolate on a winter's night, eyes. They made him feel warm even when he couldn’t see them in front of his own eyes, they were fairly well etched into his mind. ‘Blink.’ Rae instructed and as Harry opened his eyes the camera clicked again. ‘One more time, blink again.’ Harry did the same again and so did Rae. She smiled down at her camera and stood up. ‘Ok, just a couple more, put this on.’ Rae chucked Harry a patterned piece of fabric that Harry quickly unfolded.  

‘Where’d you get this?’ Harry asked looking at the black, but red and green floral patterned shirt that fell out of itself as he lifted it up.

‘Charity shop.’ Rae told him waiting patiently for him to put the shirt on.

‘What? I love it.’ Harry’s voice was mumbled as he pulled the top over his head pushing it down into the water around his stomach. Even so Rae laughed, rather than sighed as he covered up the artwork on his body that she could have stared at all day long.

‘You can have it if you want.’ Rae told him, tilting her head and chewing at her bottom lip as she contemplated what was before her. ‘Ok, hm.’ Rae sighed, tilting her head to the other side. ‘What do you think?’

‘About what?’ Harry queried, creasing his forehead at her.

‘What do you think would look cool?’ Rae explained motioning to him sat in the bath clad in a lairy shirt, his hair letting go of water droplets that fell down his face and tickled the back of his neck. Rae hadn’t expected to feel so flustered by him, half naked and soaking wet in front of her camera. It had definitely done the job of taking her mind of what else that day might mean to her.

‘I dunno it’s your shoot.’ Harry pointed out matter of factly, Rae smirking at him and taking steps closer.  

‘You’re meant to be an artist are you not?’ Harry chuckled and shook his head. Looking down at the water, he pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and thought what he might do if it was his project. He let his mind wander the way he let it wander when he was thinking of a concept for a new project. Harry didn’t know why, but Millais’ Ophelia came to mind. Slowly he lowered himself into the water, until the back of his head was under it, his ears brushing the surface but slowly submerging.

‘Careful of your eyes.’ Rae warned as Harry twisted his head, but then she saw it and her eyes went wide. ‘Ah ok, this is great stay there.’ Rae all but ran towards the bath and Harry could just about hear her fidgeting around through the water. Next thing he knew Rae was standing in the bath over him, her culottes rolled up nearly to her knees. Rae smiled down at him, a halo of flowers around his head. She lifted the camera to her eye and began taking photos, moving herself around him to get the shot she could see in her mind. ‘That looks awesome, nice.’ Rae beamed as she looked at the screen on the camera and stepped out off the tub. ‘You can sit up now,’ She laughed as she walked away from him, looking back to see Harry still laying in the water. ‘Just stay there a sec.’

Rae did the same as she had done earlier, scrolling on her laptop as the photos uploaded from her camera. The same pleased smile drew onto her face and Harry couldn’t have been happier to see it. He twisted further watching as Rae continued to look over the photos, waiting patiently for her to say something.

‘These look so good Harry.’ Rae glowed, finally looking to him again and putting her camera down. ‘Do you wanna take those wet clothes off?’ Rae suggested, pacing back to him with a towel and empty plastic bag. Harry pushed himself up in the bath, Rae noticing his triceps twitch and wishing she’d never suggested him putting a shirt on as she imagined the rippling muscles in his back. She half got her wish though as he pulled the shirt over his head. Her eyes wandered, without her really even meaning to let them, down his body, his broad chest and shoulders stretching even wider and his tight abdomen making her own flutter.

Rae took the shirt off him and put in the bag, trying with all her might not to blush as he unbuttoned his jeans and stepped out of the bath before pushing them down his legs. They swapped jeans for towel and Harry wrapped the towel around waist as Rae stuffed his jeans into the bag and he wandered to the bathroom, grabbing his dry clothes as he went, missing the wink Lou gave Rae as Rae turned back to her, cheeks scarlet and a little lost for words.

Harry couldn’t wipe the smile of his face as he towelled himself dry and got into his dry clothes. All along he knew it couldn’t really go as bad as his brain was telling him it could, but even so he felt relieved that Rae had been so happy with the photos. For once he didn’t doubt himself either. Rae had told him they looked good, so he was happy and content that they looked good.

Harry didn’t hang around getting himself dressed again. He roughly tousled his hair with the towel to get the majority of the water out, but just left it in a wet, half curly mess as he left the bathroom. When he got out, Rae was packing her things away, no sign of Lou anywhere. Rae turned to the sound of his feet, spinning on her heels and rising to her feet as she did so.

‘I coulda helped you tidy.’ Harry pointed out, tossing the towel over his forearm as he walked towards his bag to sling it on his shoulder.

‘Models don’t help tidy darling.’ Rae mocked, sounding more like Patsy from Ab Fab than Charlene from Neighbours for, what Harry hoped would be, the first and only time.

‘What are you doing this evening?’ Harry asked stopping just short of her, Rae pushing her hands into the pockets of her jeans comfortably.

‘Nothing.’ Rae shrugged, her mouth moving to one side as she looked up at Harry, almost through her thick dark lashes.

‘Home then?’ Harry suggested, and Rae nodded, smiling happily up at Harry.

++

Over the years, Rae had managed to figure out the best way to carry all of her equipment un aided. Even so, it was nice to have Harry’s help getting her things from his car to the house and up the stairs to her room. Harry left her to sort everything out though, putting all her things back in the place she kept them. It didn’t take her long, it was a well perfected dance by that point.

With everything back in its home Rae trotted down the stairs, phone in hand, to find Harry. The house was quiet when they got in. There were no lights on, no sounds, and a lack of shoes to block passing traffic in the hallway. There was rarely a time when no one was in, but Rae found that evening, she quite liked the stillness of the house. It rested easily on her and the invitation to join her other three housemates down the pub was one she could have easily ignored had she not had Harry to mention it to also.

‘Everyone’s down at The Ship, if you fancy it?’ Rae didn’t mean to make it clear that she didn’t fancy it, but Harry could see it written all over her, traipsing down to the pub on the corner of the high street, ten minute walk away, was the last thing she fancied doing. If he was honest, he wasn’t really up for it either. Especially when the other option was some time alone with Rae, something he’d been missing since their change in schedules meant they no longer got Wednesday afternoons alone together.

‘Or we could just have dinner and watch a movie?’ Harry suggested, half tentatively. The part of his brain that made him think the worst, twinged like a twisted muscle with too much pressure on it, making him think how she would laugh in his face at the idea. Not for the first time though, the other part of his brain that was normally just a twinge, but seemed to be becoming stronger now, laughed that pessimism away and reminded Harry that Rae wasn’t like that.

‘That sounds better,’ Rae smiled gratefully. ‘What do you fancy?’ She asked turning to the cupboards and pulling them open to look at what was inside. There wasn’t a lot, the last time they’d done a big shop of sorts was nearly a month ago and supplies were running thin.

‘Why don’t you let me cook for a change?’ Harry countered, pushing the cupboard closed from out of her hands. Rae looked up to him a little hurt, but also a little surprised.

‘No don’t be silly, let me, as a thank you for today considering you won’t take anything else off me.’ Rae pushed rolling her eyes as she remembered how he’d refused money, and a coffee, and food or a drink on the way home.

‘No, I wanted to do today and I want to cook for you, so you put the kettle on, make us a cuppa and sit down, for five minutes, please.’ Harry all but begged, holding the cupboard shut so Rae couldn’t pull it open again no matter how much she tried. She eventually realised Harry was adamant on cooking, so gave an exaggerated sigh, making sure Harry could hear it, before turning to fill the kettle up not giving him another word or another glance and therefore, missing the humoured grin Harry was wearing as he watched her begin to fill the kettle.

As Rae set about making two mugs of tea, Harry began gathering ingredients for one of the only dishes he was confident he could remember exactly. Marmite chicken. Harry’s sister had made it for him one night when his mum was out, on a date, and Harry had thought it had sounded gross, but he was wrong. It was delicious and he knew he had to have the recipe. He’d been cooking it ever since, but hadn’t done in a while after Rae’s arrival and her domination of the kitchen. Not that him or any of the other boys were complaining. There was no denying she could cook and none of them had resorted to pot noodles or buttered toast for all three meals of the day since she’d been living with them.

‘Oh shit, please don’t tell me someone's finished my marmite.’ Harry groaned as he searched the fridge in case some fool had decided that marmite needed refrigerating.

‘Well it wasn’t me, vegemite for life.’ Rae quipped taking a sip of her tea and widening her eyes as she did so. Harry had to suppress a chuckle as he glared at her, one hand on his hip. ‘You can use it instead if you want?’

‘Is it the same?’ Harry queried, clearly not convinced by the alternative option.

‘No it’s vastly superior but it can only make the meal better right?’ Rae jested, tilting her head as she did so. Harry smirked. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t find it endearing how she dipped her neck to one side when she was joking with people, sarcasm dripping from her voice like honey.

‘I dunno about that.’ Harry doubted with one cocked eyebrow.  ‘One way to find out.’ He shrugged in defeat, reaching up for Rae’s cupboard and pulling down the jar of vegemite. It wasn’t the one with her name on it that he’d bought her for Christmas, that was long gone, she was at least three jars down since then. Even so the memory of how ecstatic she’d been with the gift bought a smile to his face.

The room fell silent of their voices as Harry cooked, the only sound the hissing and spitting of the wok as Harry added an array of ingredients. It wasn’t normal for Rae to sit in silence, she always found something to talk about. Harry was aware the quiet was full of all the thoughts in her head that were surely making her mind noisy. As he looked over his shoulder his suspicions were confirmed. Rae was staring down into her mug that was still mostly full, the liquid inside almost definitely stone cold by now. Harry could tell she was chewing on the inside of her cheek, the way she did when she was lost in thought or concentrating on something.

There had always been a part of Harry that wanted those in his life to feel loved and accepted and comfortable. It made him feel better in the same way seeing people uncomfortable at the thought he might be feeling anxious made him feel worse. With Rae the urge was stronger, it always had been. It was what made him arrive far too early at the airport at Christmas, what had made him share his journal with her, what had made him suggest getting her guitar sent over. There was a stirring in the bottom of his stomach, aware by trying to make her comfortable now, he could make her uncomfortable, but he couldn’t say nothing.

‘Ok love?’ Rae looked up quickly to Harry’s question and flashed a fake smile at Harry, nodding just as unconvincingly. Harry shook his head, skirting the table to pull the chair out next to her and sit down. ‘You’re a rubbish liar.’

‘I’m not lying.’ Rae exaggerated with a false chuckle.

‘You are, you’re clearly not ok.’ Harry pointed out. Rae just looked down at the tea she’d taken two sips of, not really sure what to say to Harry.  ‘It is ok to not be a ball of sunshine all the time y’know?’ Harry implored, silently begging her to open up to him, but also knowing better than most not to push too hard.

‘Just hate being negative.’ Rae murmured reaching for the mug, wishing it was still warm when her icy fingers clasped it.

‘You’re not being negative Rae.’ Harry sighed, Rae shrugging, her bottom lip pouting a little. ‘Stop it, you’re fine, you feel sad, you’re a human, you’re allowed.’ Harry stressed finally reaching for her hand, taking it off the mug and holding it tight, frozen cold as always.

‘It’s Jonah’s anniversary.’ Rae admitted quietly. Out of the corner of her eye she looked up to Harry, trying to gauge his reaction. She hated how out of sorts it could make people feel saying something like that, and he hated having no choice but to say it. There was no way she could sit and lie to Harry, not when he could see straight through her. He didn’t recoil though, and his eyes didn’t flicker as his mind raced to find the right words. He just started back at her, the only change his nostrils flaring so slightly if she’d have been any further away she might not have seen. ‘Essie already told you didn’t she?’ Harry just nodded slowly, feeling guilty, like he shouldn’t know.

‘Do you mind?’ Harry questioned, quietly, nervous that she would mind and she’d get mad at him.

‘Not particularly.’ Rae mumbled. She didn’t, not really, although she did a bit. Of course she understood why Essie had done it, but she would have preferred to be the one to tell Harry. Entering her mind then, was the knowledge he’d known all day, but she couldn’t see how he’d treated her any differently, walked on eggshells around her because of it, the way she knew he should have done according to past experiences. And then she didn’t mind at all. Harry never handled her like she was a china doll in spite of anything she ever told him, he couldn’t possibly understand how grateful Rae was for that.

‘Sorry I should have told you I knew.’ Harry fretted as moments of silence passed that felt too long for him.

‘It’s ok, it’s fine.’ Rae reassured with a smile that Harry knew meant she was being genuine.  

‘Will you tell me about him?’ Harry asked before he could stop himself. He didn’t know where it came from or why he said it, but now it was out there he supposed he should continue.  ‘About Jonah, I want to know about him.’ Harry informed her and it wasn’t a lie. Ever since the first time Rae had told Harry about Jonah, all he’d wanted was to hear all about her big brother. It was clear from the way she spoke about him, even if it was minimal, that he was instrumental to the person she’d become and was still turning into, and not just because of what happened to him.

Rae took a deep breath and thought about it for a second. Where to start mainly. She hadn’t spoken about Jonah properly in so long that it almost felt foreign to be doing so again. She hadn’t forgotten about any part of him, but it took a second to find it and bring it through the brambles of her mind that kept the part reserved for him slightly shadowed. When she started though, she found she couldn’t stop. So much of her formative years involved Jonah. He was always there, when she looked back, at every checkpoint and although it made her sad that he wouldn’t be there with his goofy grin and soft amber, brown eyes for the upcoming checkpoints it filled her with a warmth reminiscent of the first summer day to be talking about him again.

‘He had these golden bits in his eyes, me and Essie didn’t get them,’ Rae rolled her eyes as Harry thought how much he loved her pure, espresso coloured eyes, ‘He used to bag on us all the time, saying he was the golden child because of it.’ Rae chuckled and Harry smiled as she clearly filled with joy as more memories came to her mind. ‘Sorry I’m talking too much.’ Rae blushed looking down at her lap.

‘No I like it.’ Harry grinned squeezing the hand he was still holding onto. ‘It’s nice to hear.’

‘You should probably finish dinner though.’ Rae reminded Harry nodding towards the pan that Harry had turned down to a low simmer before he’d begun their conversation.

‘It’s ok, I don’t mind if you want to carry on talking.’ Harry offered, but Rae shook her head.

‘My tummy’s starting to growl at me, so maybe we should eat.’ She jested. Harry chuckled, standing and wandering over to the food.

Harry dished up the food into two bowls, handing one to Rae. They agreed they’d eat on the sofa in front of a movie, Rae’s choice as long as it wasn’t Cars again, Harry bargained because he really couldn’t watch it for a tenth time in two weeks. Rae opted for Ghost, one of her favourites and potentially the only movie of that genre Harry hadn’t seen.

They sat on the sofa, closer than they normally would and finished their dinner to the soundtrack of Unchained Melody, Rae quite happy she could use the excuse of scraping up the last few noodles to be looking away. She didn’t know why she felt hot under the collar as the movie got a little steamy, she was definitely not a prude, but with Harry sat next to her she felt like a teenage girl sitting on the couch with her high school crush after being invited round for tea for the first time. It gave her the same excited butterflies, and made her feel just as light and fuzzy.

Harry took her empty plate from her, placing them on the floor beside the sofa before relaxing back and unashamedly sliding his hips a little closer to Rae. Fuck it Rae thought to herself doing the same and letting her upper body lean into Harry’s. She didn’t feel him freeze or recoil from her, so she leant in further, until her head found a place on his chest, the broad muscles solid underneath her.

It didn’t take long for Harry to give in to his urges too and wrap his arm around her pulling her as close as she could. It didn’t take much longer for him to shift Rae so he could put his legs up and they could lay on the couch together. Rae tucked into him, pushing her back into his front as his arm gripped her securely to prevent her from falling of the sloppy sofa cushions.

The film hadn’t even really started when Rae’s body got slowly more limp by Harry’s. She squirmed in front of him, wiggling against him and groaning sleepily before turning herself over to face Harry. Her eyes were closed as Harry looked down at her, her face completely relaxed as she made her head comfortable on his arm. Harry couldn’t help but sigh contentment and give in to pressing a soft, but long kiss against her forehead. Rae didn’t seem to feel it, she didn’t make a sound or a movement, but with her asleep in his arms, Harry found himself sleeping into an equally blissful state.

++

Harry stirred, slowly. He groaned quietly as consciousness came back to him. Light was pouring into the room and it took him a few seconds, and lots of blinking his vision back, for him to realise he was still on the sofa, Rae still pushed into his body but facing the room rather than him. He could feel it. He could feel her against it, and really he should have known it would happen. Too many mornings he’d woken with the image of her soaking standing on her bed, or with a towel around her in the kitchen doorway, that he should have foreseen it being too much for his body to have her that close and not react.

Rae squirmed against him, her backside rubbing him enough that he had to bite his lips together to keep from groaning as the sensations roared through him. This can’t be happening. He cursed himself and his male urges as he peeled away from Rae. There was no way she could wake to him in this state, that’s if she wasn’t already awake and knew what was happening. Of course she knows. Harry convinced himself before he hopped from the sofa as carefully as he could not wanting to wake Rae.

His bag was by the door, he didn’t know what was in it, he didn’t care. Harry grabbed the bag, pushed his feet into his boots and rushed out of the door. He’d be spending the day at the library whether there was work he could do in his bag or not, he’d find something, let Rae get her laughter at his expense out of his system. She’s not like that Harry. It didn’t matter how much he knew it to be true, he couldn’t face her now.

A/N Thank you to @huninthesun for letting me know this was missing. Apparently it had been taken down, anybodys guess as to why, but here it is for those who were tryna find it. Hope you like it!

[ohalemalia]

Daily Dose - Part. 7 (S.M. Imagine)

Pairing: Scott McCall x Reader

Warnings: fighting

A\N: I’m thinking no more summaries bc #spoilers. I’ve got new writings in the works. Expect a Theo imagine, a multipart Derek fic and a Malia imagine soon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I edited this as i could if there are errors i am sorry i am a bit tired haha

Word Count: 3735

Have you ever had those stress dreams after lying in your bed at night during a bout of insomnia? The ones that make no sense whatsoever. The ones that if you tell your therapist or a psychic about it, they’ll tell you that they’re your subconscious telling you what it really wants?

It’s a good thing I don’t go to therapists or psychics, because I would not want to hear that.

So, I guess I should break it down. Basically late last night I was wide awake in bed, stressing about the fact that I was going to be officially starting school the next morning. Eventually, I managed to fall asleep. I dreamt that I was walking into school the first time, books in hand, backpack on my back and a heavy feeling in my chest. People were walking past me, but every time they did, they would stare at me. And stare. And stare. It got to a point when I was standing in the middle of the entire Beacon Hills High student body circled around me. I looked around but there was nowhere to get out and everyone was staring at me. I opened my mouth to say something, to ask why they were all doing this but no sound came out.

Then they started marching toward me. The circle started getting tighter and tighter. I spun around, trying to find a way out, trying to get them to leave me alone, telling them I was going to be late to my first period.

Then, through the crowd burst the one and only Scott McCall. He shoved people out of the way.Once he got through the crowd we made eye contact.

“Scott,” Was the only word I was able to say.

He heard me and came rushing towards me. My feet were basically hard wired to go right towards him. His hands went on my cheeks and he KISSED ME.

RIGHT ON MY MOUTH.

SCOTT MCCALL KISSED ME (in my dream) BUT HE KISSED ME.

The worst part? It felt like I was meant to kiss him my entire life. All the other (well, they weren’t a lot, let me not kid myself) but all the other kisses were just training for kissing Scott and ugh admitting that just makes me want to--

Well, I’m not sure what I want to do but it’s not good.

Besides, it was just a dream and it probably means nothing, so there’s no reason to blow it out of proportion. The thing I should really be worried about was jumping into the lion’s den that wasa new high school.

I emptied my concoction of pills and vitamins into the palm of my hand, tossed them into my mouth and downed them with some water. They were hard to swallow (much like the truth) and left a bitter taste in my mouth (also similar to the truth) but I had to take them. They didn’t completely make my lupus go away (obviously), but they helped everything feel a little bit better.

I rubbed my shoulder and tried to soothe the pain in the socket as I walked over to the closet to decide what to wear today. As the weeks went by, I can slowly started moving more and more of my things into the McCall’s house. I insisted on going home so I wouldn’t be in their way, but Melissa and Scott really wanted me around and my parents felt safer if I wasn’t alone given my current conditions. The other option was to have my Aunt Liv come live with me or to go live with her. I really didn’t want to be uprooted from the one place I was starting to feel comfortable. Aunt Liv felt the same way since she just moved to Seattle to pursue her art career. Besides, my parents just bought the house, there was no way they were selling it already.

In the middle of picking my outfit, there was a soft knock at my door.

“Come in,” I called out as I picked a purple top out of the closet and held it up in front of me.

The door opened and in popped Scott’s head, “Hey.”

My heart hammered in my chest. I knew he couldn’t possibly have known about my dream, but it still didn’t make things feel less weird, even if they weren’t real.

“Hey,” I hung the purple shirt back up and grabbed a black one.

“So,” Scott walked into my room and plopped himself down on the bed, “How are you feeling? You excited?”

“If by excited you mean going to throw up, then yes. Super excited,” I slipped the shirt off the hanger and threw the shirt on the bed next to him.

“It won’t be that bad,”  Scott assured me, “And you’ve been to school before, right?”

“Yeah,” I grabbed a pair of jeans with a frown on my face, “But this is a new one. I don’t know anyone.”

“You know me,” Scott sat up straighter, “And Stiles, Lydia, Liam, Mason, Malia, Kira.”

The mention of Kira’s name made my slightly uncomfortable, “Yeah...but what if I don’t have any of you in my classes?”

“Then I will switch every one of my classes to be with you if it makes you feel better,” Scott smiled so earnestly and I believed him. Then I thought about the dream and my stomach did a somersault. Not the good kind.

I abruptly broke away from his gaze and folded my jeans over my arm, “I didn’t mean just you, the others too.”

Speaking of the others, I needed to know something, “Like Kira. What do you think of her?”

“Kira?” Scott leaned back on the bed to think about my oddly specific mention of her, “Yeah, I mean Kira’s great.”

“Yeah, I bet,” I placed my shirt on top of the jeans, “I mean she’s really sweet and really pretty.”

Scott sat up straight on the bed, his eyes narrowed at me in confusion, “Are you...do you...are you trying to get me to set you up with Kira?”

I spun around to look at him with my eyes wide, “What?!”

“I mean, that’s totally fine! I didn’t mean to offend you. That’s totally fine! Kira’s like great, I think you two would be good toge--”

“Scott! God! No! I’m not--that wasn’t the point. I do not like Kira.”

Scott gave me a look and I started to backtrack.

“I mean, I like her and all, but not like that. She’s--” I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to collect my thoughts. When I had figured out how delicately I was going to put this, I looked up at Scott, “Did you and Kira have a thing?”

Now it was Scott’s turn to be flabbergasted, “What? No? Why would you ask that?”

I raised my eyebrows and looked down at the ground, “Well from the looks of it, I think she has a thing for you.”

Scott watched me as I crossed the room to get to the bathroom, “Kira? Are we talking about the same person?”

“Kira, cute Asian girl, a bit mousy and awkward but otherwise very much into you,” I clarified, “And you’d have to be blind to not see the way she looked at us the entire time at my party after my parents called.”

Scott must have temporarily lost his vision that night because he definitely did not know what I was talking about, “But...we’re just friends.”

“You and me?” I turned to look at him, “Or you and her?”

I continued my walk to the bathroom. Scott got up and followed me, “I don’t know, both?”

“All I’m saying is it wouldn’t hurt you to go on a date with her. Just to test it out, you know? See if there’s that spark.”

Scott chuckled, “Y/N, I have no idea what you’re talking about. And I’m pretty sure Kira doesn’t like me like that.”

I smiled as I got on my tiptoes to lean close to his face, “And I’m pretty sure you’re wrong.”

I had meant to quickly turn around and shut the door in his face to get the last word, but I hadn’t counted how close I would actually be in his face.  And I hadn’t counted on noticing how his eyes had reddish undertones and a slight sparkle of gol

ABORT.

ABORT.

ABORT.

The dream started playing in hyperspeed through my brain again. In a panic, I went inside the bathroom and shut the door, leaving Scott even more confused on the other side.

------

“Scott! I can’t believe you have her riding on the back of that thing!”

As we pulled up to the school on the back of Scott’s motorcycle, Lydia was heading towards us with a frown on her face. Kira, Malia and Stiles were also standing there, behind them a very cute blue jeep.

“My mom has the car,” Scott explained as I took my helmet off and handed it to him, “How else are we supposed to get here?’

“You could call me for a ride, or walk, or run for all that matters,” Lydia crossed her arms. While Lydia and Scott went back and forth about how safe or unsafe the motorcycle was, out of morbid curiosity, my eyes drifted over to Kira. Her eyes were cast down and Malia was muttering something to her, while looking over at me every couple of seconds. I frowned. I really didn’t want to cause any problems or have girls hating me over a guy. I glanced over at Scott to see if he could see what was going on too and that I wasn’t just imagining things, but he was still talking to Lydia. With a sigh, I decided it was time to break this up.

“Guys,” No one listened. “Guys!”

Lydia stopped mid sentence, her red lips still opened and looked over at me. Scott did the same, minus the red lips stick, of course.

“We got here in one piece. And I appreciate your concern but it’s totally okay,” I smiled, “Let’s just get to class.”

They reluctantly agreed to drop the subject and we headed into the monster house that was high school. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know what would happen. I just hoped I made it out in one piece.

------

So I only have classes with Kira and we’re partners for every single project for the rest of the year.

Kidding!

In all of my classes I have at least one person that I know, which is really comforting. No one gave my pity because I’m sick, which is great. And the school day is over, which is fantastic.

As I walked out of the classroom, I pulled my phone out to text Scott and ask him where I should meet him.

“Whoa, whoa, watch out!”

I looked up too late and collided with someone carrying a huge canvas. We both fell back on our asses with grunts of pain. My phone skidded across the tile floor and my elbow got banged up pretty badly. My joints were already weak but the added impact of being knocked on the floor felt like someone had just slammed my arm in a car door.

“I’m so sorry!” The other student scrambled to their feet. Someone grabbed my phone and tried to hand it to me, but all  I could focus on was the burning pain in my arm and the static ringing in my head.

“Are you okay? Are you okay?”

I was fine. I was fine. I was going to be fine. I opened my eyes and looked down at myself. There was paint all over my clothes. Great.

I started to pull myself up to my feet. I felt someone place their hand under my elbow so that they could help me up. I shooed them off, “I got it, I got it.”

“I’m so sorry, I couldn’t see you,” The kid started to explain to me. I shook my head and cradled my elbow to my chest. I felt a lot worse for the kid, his painting was probably ruined at this point.

“I’m okay,” I smiled sympathetically, “I’m really sorry about your painting.”

The kid looked at his painting on the floor and frowned, “I failed the assignment anyway. Again, I’m super sorry. Please don’t hate me.”

“I don’t, don’t worry. It’s fine.”

The kid picked up his canvas and scurried off, a group of students parting to let him through. I sighed, well now I really wanted to go home. My phone chimed with a message. I looked down at it.

Scotty

Hey, i have lacrosse practice after school do you mind staying?

Well, never mind. As I started to reply, I almost bumped into another person. You would think that I

would learn my lesson by now.  I looked up to see Scott grinning down at me, “Hey!”

“Hi, I was just about to--”

“What’s that all over your shirt?”

“Paint.”

“You know the paint’s supposed to go on the paper,” Scott teased, “Not your shirt.”

I rolled my eyes, “Haha, always the comedian. Some kid bumped into me so now this shirt is probably ruined.”

Scott opened his bag, “I’ve got an extra one if you want it.”

Wearing Scott’s shirt?

“Uh, that’s--”

But Scott was already pulling an extra folded up shirt out of his backpack, “My mom just washed it, so it’s totally clean.”

I took the maroon colored shirt from him, “Thanks...I’ll just go and change then.”

“Yeah, totally. Practice is on the field. If you get lost, just listen for Coach yelling at us and saying we’re disappointments to him.”

I raised my eyebrows and nodded, “Will do.”

------

 Oh this was bad. This was totally and absolutely bad. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and realised what Scott had given me.

It was his jersey.

It had Beacon Hills with a number 11 on the front but oh no, that wasn’t the icing on the cake. On the back there was the same #11 but right on top of that was “MCCALL” written in big white letters.

Was I overthinking this?

It was one thing to wear your friend’s clothing, a jacket maybe, but it was an entire different ball game entirely to wear a guy’s jersey, much less one with his name on it. It almost signified that you belonged to him or that something was more than it wasn’t. It was something you gave to your girlfriend.

I groaned out loud to myself. I really didn’t want this to be more than it needed to be. I liked having Scott around and I didn’t want to ruin this or him with, well, me.

But I had no choice. I had already thrown my shirt in the sink and soaked it with water to try to get the paint off. I had nothing else to wear at the point. With a sigh, I grabbed my backpack and headed out of the bathroom. The hallways were empty since classes were well over.

Around the corner came Kira and since I had already been bumped into twice today I was ready to move out of the way.

“Oh, I’m sorry!”

“No, it’s fine, I’ve gotten a lot of practice avoiding people at this point.”

“Yeah I heard from Scott,” We shared a laugh together. Kira’s smile faded away as she looked down and noticed my shirt.

“Is that?”

I looked down as if I forgot what I was wearing and covered my arms across my torso, “Uh, yeah, I just needed something to wear since I got paint all over my clothes. It’s not a big deal, really.”

But Kira’s shoulders deflated and I could tell that to her, it was a very big deal, “Yeah. Right. Totally not a big deal, it was nice of Scott to let you wear it. I can tell you guys are close.”

“Not that close,” I tried to make her feel better, “I mean, you’ve known him longer than me.”

“Not that long.”Kira gave me a tight lipped smile and jutted her thumb down the hallway, “I should go.”

She didn’t give me a chance to say goodbye before she spun around and headed down the hall. The last thing I wanted was for Kira to end up crying alone in her car because of me and a stupid jersey. I jogged to catch up to her, “Kira, wait.”

I reached up to put my hand on her shoulder. As soon as my hand made contact with her shoulder, she spun around, her eyes glowing an unnatural orange color. She growled something at me in Japanese and suddenly I was flying across the room.

I skidded across the room and hit a row of lockers with a hard thud. If I thought that getting knocked over earlier had hurt, this was excruciating. Where the hell did Kira get that inhuman strength? Why were her eyes glowing? What the hell was going on?

I opened my eyes and blinked, trying to focus on the real world again. Across the room from me was Kira, standing there but something was very, very off. Around her was an orange glowing aura that almost looked like…

Like a fox.

I tried to scramble to my feet but my body ached. Then Kira started moving towards me.

“Ki-Kira, Kira what are you--”

She growled something else at me, except it didn’t sound like her voice at all. It was distorted at a lower pitch and was plain evil. Then she started moving faster. I couldn’t scoot far enough away she was getting too close.

And she looked like she wanted to kill me.

I grabbed onto the handle of the locker and grabbed myself up to stand. I turned around with a scream and threw myself to the right, narrowly avoiding a kick from Kira. But she showed no signs of letting up.

“Kira! If this is about Scott--”

She shouted something else at me and from the sounds of it she didn’t want to listen to anything I had to say. But I couldn’t process what was going on. Why did Kira look like that? Were demonic possessions real? Why did she want me dead so bad.

Kira swung again and somehow I managed to dodge out of the way. She swiped her leg out from under me and I toppled down to the floor screaming. She jumped on top of me, her eyes burning like fire and her teeth bared at me. The fox aura thing was still around her and I couldn’t understand how my imagination could keep this image up for so long.

Unless...it wasn’t my imagination and this was very real and Kira was going to kill me.

“Kira, please!”

She raised her hand high to gather enough momentum to strike me.

“Kira, don’t, please!”

As Kira went to strike me, a growl rippled through the hallway that sounded vaguely like Kira’s name. I tilted my head back to see a figure standing there. I was I could call it a man, or even human but it wasn’t. It’s face was oddly sharp at the strangest places. It’s eyebrows were low, covering it glowing red eyes. There was hair on it’s cheeks and it’s ears were pointed. I could see it’s sharp teeth as it opened its mouth to growl at Kira again.

I almost passed out right there.

Kira’s eyes softened and returned to their doe like innocence. The orange fox around her dissipated. She looked down at the me in confusion and then in absolute horror.

“Y/N?” She sounded as if she was going to cry, “Y/N, I am so sorry. I am so sorry.”

She got off of me and I scrambled as quick as I could to my feet and away from her. She looked over at the creature standing in the hallway, “Sc-Scott, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I don’t know what happened, I just lost control.”

Scott?

I looked over at the creature which was now heading over to us. As it got closer I could see it’s inhuman features melting away until…

It was Scott.

He immediately went to me, “Y/N, are you okay?”

As he reached for me, I drew myself back, “Am I--am I okay? No! No I’m not okay! Wh--what? How could I be okay? What hell--is this some kind of prank?”

Kira shot an alarmed look at Scott, “She doesn’t know…”

“Know what?!” I demanded.

Scott hung his head down, a curl of his hair falling down in his face.

“Why did you--and you--” I couldn’t even begin to ask a question. How could I when I wasn’t even sure what I was dealing with?

“What’s going on, Scott? What’s going on with you?”

“I’m a werewolf, Y/N.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but what the hell was I supposed to say to that?

I shook my head with a bitter laugh, “That’s not funny, Scott.”

“It’s not a joke, Y/N,” Scott insisted.

“No! No it is, this whole--I just--” I was starting to hyperventilate. Werewolves didn’t exist. This wasn’t funny and I wasn’t laughing. In fact, I was starting cry, “I’m freaking out here! Kira just tried to kill me and I--I--”

“Y/N,” Scott grabbed my hands in his, “I’m telling you the truth. I swear, I’m telling you the truth.”

I shook my head, “Werewolves aren’t real, they aren’t, they’re just stories. Bad movies.”

“They’re not, Y/N.”

I shook my head and pulled my hands away from his, “I need to go.”

“Y/N, please,” Scott mirrored my movements as I stood up, “Please don’t go.”

I held a hand out to keep him at a distance. I couldn’t process all of this. Not right now. Not with Scott, “Just stay away from me right now, please.”

Walking away from Scott and seeing him standing there absolutely crushed gave a whole new meaning to the sad puppy vibe I was getting. Twenty four  hours ago, if you had asked me if I would leave Scott’s side I’d probably tell you no. But now?

I wasn’t sure if I was coming back.

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