#level 20 shenanigans goodness

[runeberry]

This is the longest I've been awake today, so time to elaborate on my 2am dnd post

So Phaedra and Co died after being sent back from the hells in last session, and were brought back because they weren't destined to die yet. Their strings of fate were also severed so they're no longer tied to their destinies

We came to in Syngorn, where the council had all been killed in a siege, leaving them leaderless. Vel is from the former royal family, and we convinced him to take up the name one more time and take command of the city, by extension crowning him king. And Vel took them moment to extend his hand to both Vale and Phaedra, and grant them the same powers...

So Syngorn has a newly crowned king, his queen, and his queen (gender neutral)(until we figure out their title).

I wasn't anticipating Phaedra getting married last night, nor becoming royalty, but uhhhhh here we are

[kelvingemstone]

a starstruck odyssey is for lovers

[workingwhileidream]

Okay Burrow's End had me thinking some thoughts... So here are my favorite Dimension 20 moments that rotate like a rotisserie chicken in my brain (in no particular order other than the order I thought if them).

- Riz goes into the butthole of the Corn Ooze Monster (Fantasy High). The first absolutely insane shenanigans move anyone makes on D20, setting the tone the show will have forever.

- Raphaniel kills Queen Pamelia (Ravening War). I think I saw Brennan's soul leave his body briefly when he got that How Do You Want To Do This from Matt. Time was an absolute flat circle that day.

- Hank convinces Brennan to let him role savvy instead of sneak (Mentopolis). Hank is one of the most famous content creators, having him on the show was phenomenal to begin with. Then right out of the gate, he pulls this move in his first episode. And it just works. Hilarious, instantly iconic.

- Jet Dies (A Crown of Candy). When Lapin dies, it is shocking but I wasn't attached to him as a character. Lapin was a bit antagonistic and his death happens early in the season. On the other hand, Jet is instantly likeable. Emily and Siobhan are amazing as siblings, their performances this campaign are some of my favorites. I have siblings and I am very close to them, so this hit me like a ton of bricks.

- The entire epilogue of Burrow's End. "Are you pitching and Air Bud ending?" is one of the instant hall of fame quotes from this show. I started crying I was laughing so hard.

- Ylfa's bottleneck and the TPK (Neverafter). There are so many close calls for total party kills in Dimension 20 history, but this is where it finally happens and it's only 3 episodes in. I was on edge, expecting another TPK at any turn, for the rest of the campaign.

- 3 nat one initiative rolls for the battle that literally opens the season (A Starstruck Odyssey). The beginning of a new season is always full of excitement. This season was extra special, having everyone back in the dome after the pandemic and the season being based off Brennan's Mom's comics. The zoom energy is still in the air and I still think about this season opener a lot.

- Mother Timothy Goose breaks Snow White's concentration with a cantrip (Neverafter). Only Ally Beardsley could and we all damn well know it. Still didn't stop me from being so far in disbelief that all I could do is laugh.

- Hob's "You will never know another lonely day" speech to Rue (A Court of Fey and Flowers). I will still cry about this if I think about it for too long. Rue and Hob's romance is the heart of this season to me. I won't be over it ever.

- Gertrude convinces Nyruth to give the Questing Queens very powerful boons after the Queens tried to rob them only a few hours earlier (Dungeons and Drag Queens). The fact that this season exists drives a level of serotonin into my brain that is unimaginable. This is the definition of a big swing and when Bob rolls well, Brennan has no other choice than to honor it. This is one of the moments I have made a meme of. I cannot wait for season 2.

- Wuuvy shows up to the duel and she did not come to play (A Court of Fey and Flowers). Aabria has talked about how Wuuvy is one of her favorite NPCs and I feel the same. Wuuvy and Rue's relationship has such a great arc and this moment is so pivotal.

- Fabian's no good very bad day (Fantasy High Sophomore Year). An iconic moment in D20 history that was truly wild to watch live. For everything to go so fantastically bad for Fabian and Lou was unprecedented. There is a reason why people still talk about this moment to this day.

- Amathar survives being pushed off the castle (A Crown of Candy). Brennan tried to kill Lou so many times in this campaign. I really thought Brennan had gotten him with this one, my stomach sunk. But Lou pulls it out and Amathar lives once again.

- Pib plays "Smoke on the Water" (Neverafter). "I stepped out to play 'Smoke on the Water' " is also a hall of fame quote to me. This list could be all Pib moments if I'm being honest, he's my favorite Zac character. And the fact that Zac doesn't roll well makes this moment funnier to me.

- Buddy Bear gets planted with the All Blossom (Dungeons and Drag Queens). Jujubee and Brennan owe me a therapy session for this one. I sobbed. My cat is my baby and I will be ruined the day she leaves me, so I get it. I really do.

- "Eat your dice, Brennan" (Fantasy High Sophomore Year). A great bit made physically possible by Siobhan. I hope Siobhan gives him gummy dice or something like that so that Brennan can continue to eat his dice for Junior Year.

- Orange Top Hat Fairy (Neverafter). It's a horror season and the cast is doing bits about how hot a mini is the entire finale and the Adventuring Party that followed. I felt the stress and off the walls energy through the screen. The Smooth Criminal pin was the first piece of Dimension 20 merch I bought.

- Viola's epic takedown of Phoebe (Burrow's End). Watching Rashawn absolutely crush it her first time in the dome was amazing. I loved Viola from the jump, her arc was so satisfying and fun to watch. Also the idea of a tiny stoat kicking a gun just the right way to get it to fire is hilarious. No notes other than please have Rashawn come back on every season she possibly can.

- Evan Kelmp warns the Rosemont student not to duel him (Misfits and Magic). Brennan's deadpan warning matched with the reactions of the other players and Aabria really make this scene. An underrated Brennan moment for sure.

- Stacey Fakename turns out to be real (Mentopolis). This was such a good reoccurring bit, so to have Stacey be real at the end of the story was too funny. In a season of bits, tropes, and puns - this one has the most payoff to me and is definitely my favorite.

[sleepyghostuwu]

Aventurine Headcanons: Working with him

(A/N) Just some goofy ahh headcanons I made for our goofy ahh gambler because I like him very much (I'm patiently waiting and saving up for his banner). These can be viewed from both a platonic and a romantic POV ;) Enjoy~!

Cw: Alcohol and gambling mentions, subtle spoilers to his backstory from HSR 2.1

First off, you're going to have one heck of a ride with this man

He's very snarky, so brace yourself for a hellish amount of attitude every time you interact with him for any purpose. It can and will get to the point that you actually start complaining about him at least once to your other friends and colleagues during breaks or even work itself.

Aeons forbid if aforementioned friends and colleagues counter your complaints with the argument that he's very handsome. As if being devilishly good-looking and charismatic is going to excuse his sass (Unfortunately, it does).

He can't help but chuckle whenever he finds out that you've been grumbling about him to pretty much the entire workplace. Not even the innocent janitors and cafe baristas are spared from your rants.

He also has a bad tendency to eavesdrop on your conversations whenever given the chance, solely for his entertainment.

He finds it amusing to "just so happen to pass by" when you're talking about anything (including your complaints about him messing with you), even more so when he decides to interject into the conversation when you finish talking, giving you a nasty surprise in the process.

"...I just can't stand having him around anymore!" Aventurine, who has been listening for the past 20 minutes: "Oh no, how awful of him." "SHUT UP, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!"

Even when his sass continues to show itself to you, once the both of you get used to working together and get more acquainted with each other, you may even end up getting along with him pretty well, much to the surprise of both of you. Before you know it, when the time comes, the both of you are now good friends with each other.

If you think simply working with him in the same workplace is bad enough of an experience, imagine earning his friendship and unlocking a newer level of shenanigans he's about to pull off before you while you're at it.

Being more open to your company, Aventurine will make it a habit to drag you to the casino and bar after working hours to spend time with you.

You initially protest against his seemingly unhealthy obsession with gambling and alcohol, and often question out loud how his life is still put together, much to his amusement. As time passed, your nagging ceased, but of course, you still express concern towards that aspect of him.

He eagerly teaches you how to gamble your fortunes skillfully whenever you join him at the casino, but he only allows you three tries when it comes to playing around with the the assortment of gambling machines there, claiming that you were not ready to push your luck as far as he did with his.

He treats you to lots of drinks too. Being a regular at the bar, sometimes he boasts about having you as his companion to the bartender and the other patrons, much to your initial embarrassment.

He also makes outrightly crude jokes about colleagues he has beef with, after which you either burst out in boisterous laughter from the drinks and the same sense of humour, or you stare at him in disbelief and horror as you wonder if the both of you would be sued for his reckless remarks in public.

Sometimes you have to make Aventurine aware of his own alcohol tolerance as he downs one drink after another, even having to request a simple cup of soda for him to help him stay alert.

There are also times where he gets so wasted that you practically had to drag him home with you (you did not have his address) and leave him in a spare room for him to stay the night until he sobered up, something that he silently appreciates you for. In return, he genuinely tries to make work easier for you and tones down his attitude just a teeny bit as a way of showing his gratitude.

Needless to say, having you look out for him is a big win, both for you and the man himself.

If you've managed to reach this part of your relations with Aventurine, congratulations. You've hit the jackpot.

As the both of you spend more time together, bantering during working hours and (almost) getting financially and physically wasted at the casino bar every now and then, Aventurine slowly displays a starkly contrasting side of his flamboyant self.

While your initial outings with him were merely restricted to the casino bar, he gradually begins bringing you around a variety of places, most of which were noticeably quieter than what you thought was his taste.

Heck, he even brought you to the library once to read together with you, and you had trouble figuring out whether this was actually Aventurine you were going out with and not some quiet impostor from work who decided to steal you away after work.

That being said, you eventually find out that Aventurine has a much softer side of him that he has been keeping in the dark, one that he finally decided that he felt safe sharing with you.

You also find out that he likes drawing as a hobby and is surprisingly good at it, though most of the time he makes Gepard-skill level of doodles of his colleagues and higher-ups out of spite.

You joke once about sending those doodles to their respective art subjects as gifts, and when an amused Aventurine agrees, you honestly can't tell if he was playing along or seriously considering your suggestion.

Having grown closer to him, you also can't help but suddenly feel more curious about who he is, not as the extravagant and sometimes obnoxious member of the Ten Stonehearts of the IPC, but rather as a person, whatever his real name may be.

You asked him about the barcode-like tattoo on his neck once, though from the way he tensed up at your question, you decided that this man (unsurprisingly) had some walls up, and for now, it was not yours to break through by force.

On the bright side, at least you know him a lot better compared to most people around him. For Aventurine, that will be more than enough...for now.

[mysterious-shelf]

all this new content and speculation and discourse has distracted me from equally important matters, namely the (platonic) eddietommy of it all … because the potential there is for their relationship this season??? so many possibilities and i’d eat up every one of them

eddietommy bonding over all things buck

eddietommy butting heads over who gets to spend time with buck

alternatively, eddietommy being sympathetic towards each other regarding buck time — tommy insists eddie spends more time with buck while eddie swears he’s fine (he’s not)

eddietommy, in the midst of the buck time drama, confessing that they miss hanging out with each other just as much; tommy was eddie’s friend first, after all!

this post because eddietommy should be able to exist independent of buck

tommy desperately trying to keep eddie from going down the same path he did 20 years ago and turning into a gerrard minion (this scenario has had me frothing at the mouth since the s7 finale. like you don’t understand i need tommy to beg)

veering into fic territory with this one, but tommy reassuring eddie that he is a good dad. bonus if he uses his own shitty dad as a contrast. bonus bonus if he’s angsty about it “do you even understand how lucky christopher is to have a dad who loves him like you do?”

(now this is very much fic territory but i want the last two points to be combined and turned into a dramatic scene where they’re both yelling at each other but they’re not really fighting and they both just break down in front of each other because big men being sad is like crack to me)

eddietommy performing michaelbobby-level shenanigans

eddietommy bonding over their army experiences

this fucking post about eddie’s potential reaction to tommy’s helicopter crashing

eddie just having someone else who he can bro out with and also be vulnerable with. 7x04 sets thier friendship up as one that’s so unique and intriguing and if it isn’t explored in s8 i will be pressing charges

[spacedace]

So I have an idea for a dp x dc fic and I'm going to throw it here since i need to get it out of my head and i'm not sure i'll ever actually write it (and as always if anyone finds my rambles interesting any/all of it us up for grabs to run with):

Elle ends up crashing into the DC universe while exploring, but despite all the dimension/multivariate nonsense that always goes down (or maybe because of it) she can't actually get back, and the levels of ectoplasm are a lot lower than most dimensions which weakens her quite a bit.

There's enough for her to survive, and use her powers a little bit, but using them too much makes her get really weak/maybe even causes serious harm depending on how much she uses.

She finds this out when she tries to open a portal home and both fails to open the portal & passes out as a result of trying. Cut to Elle waking up in Cadmus and realizing "ah, fucked up unethical science, I am familiar with this fuckery" and escapes.

In the process of escaping she comes across Kon, who isn't "finished" yet. He's alive and aged up to a teenager, but isn't quite done with his programming/whatever (this idea came to me based entirely off what I've gleaned through fandom so I don't know the canon of Kon's whole time with Cadmus). Elle immediately realizes "Oh clone baby, that's not good" and breaks him out and takes him with her.

Kon in this doesn't know he's a clone of Superman, he doesn't know a lot of things considering how early into the clone info-dumling process he was in when Elle broke him out. He barely knows language and how to read. What he does know for sure though is that Cadmus is Bad and Getting the Fuck Out is Good so he's down to go with Elle

Queue them becoming friends and being on the run together, learning about this world/dimension together and coming to see each other as family. Eventually they end up in Gotham because it's one of the places that naturally has a higher ectopalsm level and because if you're in the right area no one cares if you have no legal ID (in some circles it's a plus).

Kon gets a lot of odd jobs before eventually ending up working at a strip club or burlesque bar or something (my idea is that it's years after escaping so he's in his early 20s at this point and not just a fresh baby clone anymore and he gets into it because he likes it and it's good money) while Elle uses her ghostly knowledge/what powers she can to work as like a psychic or something like that.

Meanwhile Justice League (with alive again Superman) have found out about the escaped Superman clone and, along with Cadmus, are desperately trying to track him down. The info they have is a bit murky, so they think it's actually *two* clones, one that had Martian dnd also thrown in to the mix based off a short clip they managed to find of Elle phasing through walls.

My idea is that it'd all finally come to a head when Constantine pulls Tim (and maybe also Damian) in on a JL Dark case that involves the Lazerus Pit and for reasons ends up having to hire Elle to help. I'm thinking it's a thing that Elle is a pretty respected name in certain magic circles due to her expert knowledge on the Infinite Realms, though she refuses to work for most people who seek her out - even though the money would be good - because usually it's only evil assholes that want to hire her.

She makes a deal with Jon to help (in exchange for something that would let her get a message to Danny letting him know what happened or something like that) and Kon joins in because there's no way he's trusting a dude Elle calls the "drunk soul slut" with his baby sister unattended, he doesn't *care* if she could handle herself it's not happening.

Anyway, Tim/Kon (and maybe some Damian/Elle) shenanigans during a Lazerus Pit/demon hunting road trip where eventually everyone figures out who Kon & Elle are, Elle manages to get a stable portal setup so she can go home and come back whenever she wants (Kon getting adopted by Danny? Kon getting adopted by Danny) and Kon joining Young Justice and having a good relationship with Clark (who had a lot more time to deal with things before meeting Kon and learned about him as a person before learning he was Clark's clone).

Anyway there would be a scene at the end where Kon would be in his superhero suit for the first time and just:

Clark: Did you choose a hero name yet?

Kon: Yeah, I figured I'd go with Supernova.

Clark, feeling touched: Yeah? Any particular reason?

Kon: It's cool, it has 'Super' in the name, and really it just seemed the easiest option, I'm used to responding to Nova, so *shrugs*

Clark: Yeah? Why's that? Nickname?

Kon: I guess kinda? It's my stage name at the strip club I work at

Clark: what

Tim, brain shut down by this revelation: ...do you do private shows?

Clark: w h a t

[thisisnotthenerd]

and now the best battles of the intrepid heroes go head to head

feel free to give reasoning/propaganda as you like!

the sidequest poll

quick episode descriptions:

arcade ambush: fighting biz in the arcade. the failed perception checks. getting sucked in and out of the games. riz in the palimpsest. beating a nat 20 in the box of doom. shooting off biz's fingers on the count of three.

broadway brawl: the show must go on. misty having the performance of a lifetime. queen titania. i may be little but i am fierce. esther in the rafters. don confetti. ricky, naked, bodyrolling on misty. stephen sondheim riding a bear. subduing titania with a waist trainer.

blast from the passed: after the trial for gorthalax. completely indecipherable battle. bill seacaster kills gilear. johnny spells can't get a word in edgewise. statistically i have just a good a chance at rolling good as any of you. toxic masculinity is dead, i dance now! riz is blasted off the ship into the iron city of dis.

boys' night (Roll20Con): just the lads, going to a party, where they are supremely uncool. extorting gilear for alcohol [uncle pappy's dag nasty rocket hooch] emergency poem for ragh and corey. stealth mode down the highway. chungledown bim is back. fabian falling under the car with the liquor. warping space time and going to the lan party.

deep bleu sea: peppermint batman is invisible in the darkness. primsy is attacked. jet sends stilton to the bottom of the ocean. shenanigan time. the boats sinking and shifting. cumulous appears. throwing the cheese marauders to induce a dexterity check. can i use swirlwarden to get back into the boat. annabelle in the yogurt

treachery at gramercy: fighting around the umbral engine. ricky's bat counterspell. pete surges twice. cody is a mounted combatant who read dante's inferno. tony simos is a crazy level 20 open hand monk. pete has subtle spell. ricky says tony get fucked and does 90 damage. kingston's spirits of the city. sofia stunning everyone. cody meets lucifer and makes a new contract. sofia pulls dale out of the past and into the present.

battle of the brands: the gang buys truly so much stuff. you are required to do a certain amount of drugs. barry is the angel of mercy. the sisters of the cosmic veil having a bikini party. taking kublacaine. we are the ball. barry taking brutus to the finals on a nat 20. nat 20 death save from aurora nebbins. margaret speaks to the plinth and then is down to 1 hit point. skip crits on the plinth. free teleportation shenanigans are not allowed. gunnie casts explosion. barry rapid shots the plinth and does product placement. operation slippery puppet. am i getting ocean's'd 11'd on my own fucking show? what the fuck is happening? a real son of a bitch is no more. sundry sidney has saved the dog!

terror on toy island: a soft little touch. mer-king's insect plague. no daddy. pib getting the little guys. i'm so fucking scared! the water surges around the mer-king. the terrible dogfish is here. daddy-meter is spinning. pinocchio crits to figure it out. pinocchio screaming to wake the dead. it has asthma! and another thing, with the eyes! you were about to instantly die. gerard is wearing full chain mail in the ocean.. rosamund & ylfa are swallowed. the sea witch shows up. murph causes a nat 20. call of destiny. rosamund gets the eye with a seven. i'm a lion in the water. pib's acrobatic crit. one v. one.

[lost-in-lamentation]

human world headcanons

a/n: i just know half of the brothers would break into the human world under the excuse of seeing their favourite human, only to be distracted 9 seconds later. and so; human world shenanigans.

═  ˎˊ˗

lucifer.

here's one that doesn't stray from his goal.

lucifer heads straight to your house (without warning).

but he forgets that you have work today; he also does not have the key to your front door.

your neighbours start to wonder if the strange man who has been sitting on your doorstep is lost.

one kind-hearted neighbour sends you a picture of the lonely demon on your porch, along with the message "he's been there for hours."

a fit of laughter and a 20 minute drive later, you embrace lucifer tightly.

"sorry, sorry," you manage to giggle out as he tries to scold you for not having your d.d.d. on you.

lucifer finally relents the harsh glare when you tell him you'll cook a special dinner for him.

═  ˎˊ˗

mammon.

he's distracted in all the right ways.

first, he grabs you a drink from your favourite human world café.

mammon will then head to the grocery store and look for your favourite snacks.

he's so focused on the task at hand that he doesn't notice you side eyeing him from two feet away.

when he finally does notice, he turns on his heel and ducks his head, trying to escape your gaze.

it's too late now, though; you've already got a hand on the edge of his jacket, yanking him towards you.

"mammon. does anyone know you're up here?"

"... you do."

"not good enough!"

═  ˎˊ˗

leviathan.

see, he really wishes he could be distracted.

after all, the human world has so many anime and manga goods stores that he wants to visit.

but being the shut-in he is, he'd rather wait inside your house until you have time to go out.

unlike a certain brother, he remembers the key to your door (mainly because he doesn't want to be stuck waiting outside).

he does also shoot you a quick text before he enters, just in case you're inside and he freaks you out, or in case you're out of the house.

you enjoy having levi over; he doesn't drag you back outside as soon as you've got one foot through the doorway.

but perhaps the real problem is getting him back out.

because, why leave when he can game without his brothers interrupting his boss level speed run?

═  ˎˊ˗

satan.

oh lawd he's NOT coming.

he saw a cat on the road; as far as you know, he's gone forever.

satan only stops when he sees a street library box, curiosity getting the better of him.

it's maybe a few hours later that he remembers to text you of his arrival in your realm.

you call him almost immediately, asking where he is, only for the blonde to respond "i'm not quite sure myself. i followed a cat here."

your eyebrow twitches, and you almost want to give satan a taste of his own wrathful medicine.

"if it helps, the cat was a tortoiseshell."

"how is that supposed to help?!"

═  ˎˊ˗

asmodeus.

luck is on his side today, as his walk to your place takes him right past the shopping district.

it may have also taken him inside a few stores.

meanwhile, you lounge around at home, blissfully unaware.

that is, until lucifer calls you with much urgency in his voice, saying "MC, please tell me asmodeus is with you."

your neighbours can hear you screaming from the inside of your car as you pull out of your driveway.

a part of you is grateful that it's asmodeus at the mall; although he spends, he's not quite as bad as his older brother.

when you finally find the demon in the shopping center, you grab hold of his scarf, dragging him and his bags towards your car.

"MC, wait! i haven't bought a good lip tint for you yet!"

═  ˎˊ˗

beelzebub.

unlike most of his brothers, beel makes it his priority to call you first thing upon arrival.

his second priority is to find the shop where that delicious smell is coming from.

"beel, do NOT move from where you are, or i swear i will call lucifer and have him drag you back to hell himself."

you're glad the shopping and food square is walking (sprinting) distance from your place.

in your panicked rush, you leave your front door wide open, leaving your neighbours to wonder what you're up to this time.

it's a good thing the avatar of gluttony is so tall; you find his orange head standing close to the decorative water fountain in the middle of the square.

"oh, MC. you must be hungry after running like that."

you can only plant your hands on your knees while catching your breath, and beel waits patiently for your approval to go grab a snack.

═  ˎˊ˗

belphegor.

does not call or text you when he heads up to the human world.

you're most likely to come home to him already knocked out cold on your couch.

belphie is a quiet sleeper, so it takes you a few minutes to actually realize that he's there.

when you do realize that he's there, you unwillingly release a yelp, waking up the sloth demon.

belphie's expression shifts from a glare to a smile when he remembers he's in your house and not the house of lamentation.

"welcome home," he mumbles sleepily, stretching his limbs out one by one.

"belphie, how many times do i have to tell you to text me before you come over?"

he shrugs in response, instead dragging you onto the couch for a well deserved nap with him.

a/n: praying that my demon bro bias does not glare anyone in the face with these headcanons. i'm soft for all of them, i swear.

[dailyadventureprompts]

What’s fasinating about the d&d movie is that it is all the fun of d&d removed from the rigid restraints of the the clunky game system: Thrills and laughs and hairbrained schemes minus the minutia of needless rolls or waiting for your turn in initiative to circle around. Part of this is idealization, but as someone who’s obsessed with making my favorite game system the most fun possible I can’t help but draw some comparisons.

Combat: Holga’s fight scenes were a highlight of the film for me, displaying a huge amount of kinetic creativity as she pinballed between different combatants swapping out weapons, bouncing off the surrounding terrain . This is a far, far cry from how being a fighter plays out at the table, as most martial characters are focused into doing just one type of attack as good as they can because it’s their only reliable contribution to combat. Try to model Holga’s fights in game and you’d be caught in a boring slog of dealing 1d4+STR damage to a bunch of guards whittling away at their hitpoint pools, a far cry from the lighting quick flury of smashing, bashing, and flips that make her the film’s action setpiece.  

What d&d needs is a system for combat that exists alongside the traditional damage/HP paradigm: an additional layer of complexity for martial characters that encourages tactical thinking and lets those who do their damage up close feel just as cool and as clutch as casters. My mind’s already whirling thinking up something that revolves around stuns, suckerpunches, and positioning, so expect it later this week. 

Powercreep: This might be subjective but I find it fascinating that the official stats put out for the party has them hovering around level 16, a point in character progression  a)that  most characters never get to b) by which the game’s difficulty systems have begun to break down. I suspect this was done in order to keep their on-screen abilities in line with how they are in the base rules, but I can’t help but feel like its odd for the “idedalized” dnd experiance to be playing around with toys that most groups will never get their hands on. 

In my experience d&d is on a sliding scale of stakes V Shenanigans, with the exact ballance evolving over the course of a campaign:  Your group starts out as a bunch of dumbfucks and at some point while you’re making  making absolute fools out of yourselves you become a found family just in time for the consequences of your actions to circle back around and threaten the realm. First the characters start caring about eachother, then they care about the world, then they have to save that world. Level 16 is, for me, distinctly in “save the world” territory, despite the fact that the HaT crew are clearly still figuring out who they are and what they care about.  It makes me wish D&D was more free with its shenanigan enabling magic/items/class features at lower levels to help fuel these kinds of antics.  

Attunement: Perhaps the best “ oh I’m totally going to steal this” moment came from Simon’s attempt to attune to the helm of disjunction. Turning what was otherwise a rote game mechanic into an oppertunity for character growth was genius on behalf of the writers, though one I’d only really employ with items that were as necessary for my plots as the helm was for the heist. Just like Simon’s major flaw was self doubt, I could easily see delicious storytelling potential in throwing up other emotional hurdles depending on the situation: A hero’s sword refusing to attune to the haunted survivor until they’ve come to terms with what they’ve done, an otherwise altruistic character being forced to admit their sin and self interest by an evil-aligned artifact. 

Over all, I really enjoyed the movie, though paradoxically It didn’t hook me as much because for me one of the biggest charms of fantasy is the feeling of discoverying a new world, and I’ve been living the d&d world for the past 20 years so it didn’t come of as wild and magical as it could have been, having hewn so close to established d&d material. 

[latelyanobsession]

Letter S on the nsfw alphabet for our baby billy ✊😔

I have no thoughts only billy back in cali

S - Security (How protective are they?)

Billy is very protective, but not to an extreme. He's more than happy to let you hold your own, but when someone's in your face and overwhelming you? Yeah. He's gonna puff his chest a bit, stand tall, and just maybe knock someone around if they really aren't getting the picture. Ultimately though, his level of protection gets set by the kind of partner you are.

If you're shivering like a fear-biting chihuahua, tucked into his side the entire time at the first big party you attend as an item. You can bet he's gonna ratchet up his attention. His protective vigilance over you a 20/10. A hand around you almost exclusively. Checking in with you the whole night. "Are you sure you're good? Do you want to leave?" Steering you away from the heavier and more crowded parts of the party that would overwhelm you. Making sure that you're comfortable and that you didn't just attend something solely to keep him happy.

If you're a partner who can hold your own. A person that would even go so far as to join in on drinking games or other shenanigans at such parties. Billy's protection will be at the most minimal. He'll swing past you every now and then. Check in and make sure that you're pacing yourself. "Are you drinking more water? Drink your water." And dump out your cup and refill it from the tap. He'd mainly watch you from a distance, and everyone once in a while stop by. Place a hand on the small of your back, and smile. "Ok?" And then proceed on his way.

If you're the kind of person who's in somewhere between, a partner who is comfortable really depending on the setting, your mood, the people there, etc. Billy might have a little bit more of a task reading you. And therefore he might lean towards being a bit more protective.

Overall Billy's intent is not to overwhelm or to overstep on a partner's autonomy. But he always wants to do what he can to help his partner feel safe, respected, and comfortable. And if any of those things get pushed by another person, Billy's ears perk up, and he watches and he waits. He lets his partner do everything they can themselves. If you for instance can't seem to get out of a conversation with someone you really don't like, one pleading look in Billy's direction and he's changing the subject for that person whether they like it or not.

S - Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Billy is a young guy in good shape (aside from the smoking, which we assume hasn't caught up with him yet). On any given session you are probably gonna need to set aside an hour to at least two. Excluding quickies, if we're talking unbroken, single-sessions you can count on a solid double round from this guy if not more. It depends on how long it's been since he last had his hands on you.

If you've been together recently you'll escape sooner, but if he hasn't had his paws on you in at least three weeks? Oh. Best leave your evening open. He's going to spend the entire time reminding you why you keep coming back to him. Time after time. Each round he wrings out of you is going to get harder and leave you increasingly exhausted. By the time he decides he's finished four rounds later, you may forget how your limbs work and have gone hoarse.

[intothedysphoria]

If most people were to be believed, nobody liked the poor fucks who peaked in high school. Unfortunately for Steve, he was one of that number.

Being rejected from college was embarrassing enough. Then there was losing his minimum wage job. Getting married too young. Rehab. Realising he was gay. Divorce. Rehab again. Only seeing the kids once a month. And of course finding out the morning before yet another job interview that there was more hair growing out his ass.

A too bitter coffee that tasted like laundry detergent didn’t help as he ran from the subway because his licence had been suspended. Neither did the bottom of the barrel cigarettes he’d had before walking into the building.

William Hargrove, head of a nation wide charity outreach programme for abused children. He needed some low level admin support and apparently Steve fit the bill perfectly. It was fine, Steve told himself. He’d just be another fat balding white guy who was only in it for the money. Steve knew his own generation well.

Billy was not like that. He was incredibly sweet and patient during the job interview, which apparently he always did himself, picked up on Steve’s dyslexia almost immediately and offered in office support and was unequivocally the most beautiful man Steve had ever seen.

Steve got hired. He started Monday. That would have been fantastic if not for the fact that Steve knew his only good suit had a tomato sauce stain on which refused to budge. Fuck his life.

Decades of porn had put Steve under the impression that crushes on a boss were fun, sexy affairs that led to coitus on the office table. Whoever came up with that fucking lie owed him a sincere handwritten apology. Crushes on a boss were not fun and were never reciprocated.

Billy was a very hands on boss. He’d go around to everyone’s desk, asking if they needed anything, organised staff basketball outings every week and was just genuinely the sweetest guy ever. Steve had read somewhere that Billy could have been a millionaire but refused to compromise on staff wages or any of his programmes. He tried not to get warm fuzzy feelings about that.

Shame smoking was not helping matters, especially not when Steve found out that a certain other person frequented his spot. He gave up smoking at work after that. Steve couldn’t come across as a complete disaster.

Miraculously, Steve was actually very good at his job. It was straightforward and repetitive and the special font on the computer meant that he could read it better. His co workers were all nice, well adjusted 20 somethings and they were surprisingly happy to involve a 58 year old in their shenanigans.

On the Billy front, Steve had finally managed to get out a full sentence without sounding like a teenage girl at a WHAM concert (the equivalent was One Direction now??????? Steve couldn’t keep up with teenagers) and generally Billy seemed to think he was competent. Not a particularly special employee but enough to talk about the game with over crappy office coffee.

Billy was also gay. Which was very cool and should not have given him as much completely unfounded hope as it would. It wasn’t the 80s anymore and they were very much not the only gays in the village. Practically every man who walked into his office started immediately drooling. Not that Steve could judge.

An official invitation to “basketball Fridays” was new. Steve had mostly waved it off in the past, because it would just be him against much younger men and his ego couldn’t handle that. Still, he decided to take it up. Just because Billy’s hair smelled like lavender.

It was just Billy when he got there. Basketball shorts were criminally good on his figure. Again, Steve couldn’t help but hope he’d suddenly be transported into a porn.

“Don’t mind a one on one game, just us old men?”

How could Steve pass that offer up? It was really too good to refuse.

One game turned into two into five and suddenly Steve was back to playing a game once a week. Sometimes it had practically the entire building, sometimes it was just the two of them. They’d exchanged numbers, just to discuss Steve’s love of Sixteen Candles. It was nice, having a friend who wasn’t Robin or Carol for once. Another guy. Another queer guy.

The next week Anthony told him to resign. He was kind of like a mini Jason Carver from back in high school, bar the religious trauma. Resign he’d said. For Billy’s sake. That had to be some sort of hr violation. Steve didn’t tell on him though. Billy cared too much about his employees for that.

Slowly, more and more people started saying it. Resign. For Billy. It felt like bordering on bullying. Some type of ageism. Still, Steve resolutely ignored it until it came from Gemma.

Gemma was Steve’s favourite. They had outrageously green hair, thrived off shitty horror movies and was the first person to not laugh at Steve for not knowing what Instagram was. They were a saint. But then they told him to resign too.

“Please Steve.” Their voice was as soft and gentle as ever, like waves cascading over the rocks. “You’ve got to quit. For Billy. Trust me.”

Bottom lip trembling but refusing to cry in front of anyone, Steve marched to Billy’s office and rapped sharply on the door. He stuck to the script, announced he was quitting “for Billy” and turned to walk out the door until Billy gently caught his hand.

“Steve”

Steve was going to miss hearing that voice every day.

“Do you even know why you’re resigning?”

This was even worse than the recurring nightmare of taking an exam naked.

“No?” He tried, voice sounding about as confident as a five year olds.

Billy cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Look I don’t know exactly what the team has been doing but I think why you’re resigning is because I can’t exactly ask you on a date as an employee?”

Ah. That was unexpected.

Thankfully Billy didn’t mind the stubborn tomato sauce stain when they got to the restaurant. Or Steve’s garlic breath when they kissed. And Steve found himself for the first time in a while, thinking that maybe being him wasn’t all that bad after all.

[wynought]

The Horror in Burrow's End

I have been having Thoughts (TM) about the horror aspect of Burrow's End for a while now, and I think I can put at least some of those Thoughts (TM) into words now. Spoilers for Burrow's End (up to, and including episode 8) and Neverafter below.

Many people have pointed out that Burrow's End has been more horrifying (or at least felt more horrifying) than Neverafter, Dimension 20's proclaimed Horror Season. There has been a lot of terrifying body horror and gruesome gore, and with the latest episode (episode 8, as of writing this) we've also seemingly risen to another level with the absolutely stunning Wenabocker tapes (kudos again to Carlos Luna, the acting and sound design were legitimately masterful).

But we've also had that with Neverafter; the opening scene with Rosamund waking up is a perfect example of body horror, the Stepmother is an advanced lesson in eldritch horror, there are powerful and unknowable antagonists all throughout the Neverafter. So why is it that so many (if not all of us) feel that Burrow's End is so much scarier than Neverafter? I think there's a multitude of factors at play here.

Of course, we have the difference in the cast - the Intrepid Heroes are a well-oiled machine of tight comedy at this point, they know each other, their strengths, their comedic timing, they know what they can get away with in terms of shenanigans. The Stupendous Stoats are all incredible performers and have obviously worked together before in various constellations. However, they don't have an Established Dynamic in the way the Intrepid Heroes do. It is also the first time that Aabria is DMing a full-on D&D game in the dome, with battlesets and minis, and everything that entails, and she has said herself that she usually does theatre of the mind - there's a good possibility she wasn't even aware herself, how exactly this would influence her own style and the atmosphere she would create. All of this contributes to a vastly different feel of Burrow's End compared to Neverafter.

Additionally, both players and their characters in Neverafter were genre savvy, as was the audience. Neverafter was marketed as a horror season. We knew the tone going in, the Intrepid Heroes knew it going in, their characters were conceived as being horror versions of commonly known fairy tale characters. The marketing for Burrow's End was different; sure, we all immediately made the connection to Watership Down and The Secret of NIMH, and those aren't exactly known for their easy and happy themes, but I don't think any of us from the audience, or even the players were expecting the bear. This also ties into the player characters themselves. The Intrepid Heroes' characters didn't know each other beforehand; they grow together and they have/develop familial vibes, but they aren't family with all the added baggage that entails. Rosamund and Gerard may be cousins, but they're 100 years apart in age and have never met before. Pib and Pinocchio are successfully running scams together and do care for each other, but they don't quite have that long-time sibling dynamic. Mother Goose and Ylfa are arguably the closest to each other before the events of Neverafter, with Goose taking on a parental role, but they are stuck in their own recent traumas and seem to have gravitated towards each other more out of the need to fill the respective holes in their lives than out of a genuine, pre-established bond. Destiny's Children do grow and go on to become important people in each others' lives, but there's a difference between bonds forged by danger and choice, and bonds forced by necessity. The Stupendous Stoats were conceived as a family. Viola is Ava's daughter, and also Tula's sister, and also Thorn's wife, and also the kids' aunt, and also the co-leader of a cult. She has so many roles to fulfill already that 'horror protagonist' isn't even on anybody's list, least of all her own - and that goes for all the player characters. Their established dynamics mean that, for a bit, they don't, no they can't even realise what kind of story they are in. Thorn is living in a story where he is the tragic hero destined to save his people, Tula lives in a story about grief and loss and acceptance, Viola lives in a story of political intrigue, the kids live in a YA adventure novel a la Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. Ava lives in Encanto (but don't tell her, she'd hate that). Then they encounter the bear and there's a slight record scratch, but, after having dealt with that mess, they go right back to their established roles. They react to the horror in a very, for lack of a better word, human way, they treat it as incidental to the reality they live in. They feel like a real family, slowly finding out just how scary their world truly is. The horror's impact on their lives is very different from the way Neverafter impacted the protagonists. We get to see the stoats' realisation that they're horror protagonists, but Destiny's Children had already gotten that message by the time they come together.

Another huge factor is the season length. Neverafter ran for 20 episodes, while Burrow's End is half as long. A lot of horror hinges on the audience and the protagonists being unaware of how exactly the antagonist/monster/spooky thing works. The audience usually knows on some level that there have to be some rules the horror has to abide by, the protagonists may or may not; but especially in something like an actual play TTRPG show there have to be some rules because this is a game, after all, and it would be incredibly unfun for the players, the DM, and the audience to have a fully unsolvable mystery. The problem with this is that the actual terror goes away once the rules are solved - sure, you can still do gore and disturbing stuff, and you can scare the protagonists, but your audience will expect an action-based story now, instead of a reaction-based story (e.g. the protagonist figures out that a silver bullet can hurt the werewolf, so now the audience expects them to stop running and make/find silver bullets in order to protect themselves, and either succeed in killing the monster or die trying). The longer your story is, the harder it is to keep up this level of suspense. You will either start to tread ground and the story will begin to feel stale, or you will reveal too much too early and lose that sweet sweet terror of the unknown. I think Neverafter was too long for an effective horror season; I don't think it is bad how many episodes we got, I enjoyed every single one of them. But I do believe that much of the horror aspect was lost around the halfway point - one of the worst things to happen to a D&D party, the TPK, happened in episode 2 and was "solved" (in the sense I talked about above) in episode 3. The Lines Between and the Authors were introduced in episode 8. The world's rules were established by then, and the Intrepid Heroes could start acting on them. Of course, there were still scary elements (the fact that Death itself had been imprisoned and was being tortured, the undead Dwarven army, Rapunzel's trickery and unsettling personality, etc. etc.), but to me this felt more like a very dark fantasy story, instead of a tale of horror. Burrow's End is so much shorter than Neverafter, and I think this works to its advantage as a horror story. The protagonist stoats' limited perspective on what is going on in the Blue Forest, in Last Bast, with the Blue in general, their general lack of knowledge on all things human make for so many different vectors of horror, and the abundance of mysteries means that even after 8 episodes there are still aspects of the world we are unaware of.

This neatly brings me to my last point: There is a unique dynamic at play in Burrow's End that contributes a lot to the uncanniness of the story. Namely, that the protagonists are stoats with no/minimal knowledge of humanity, while the players and the audience know so much more than the protagonists. TTRPGs oftentimes make it hard not to metagame, not to let your prior knowledge influence your character's decisions, and Burrow's End takes this to an extreme level. There is a difference between the "my husband was killed by the thunder on a cloudless day" kind of horror, and the "this stoat was shot by a gun, but his body wasn't collected immediately, meaning that probably wasn't a hunter, so why are people shooting stoats?" kind of horror; a difference between "humans are faceless monsters with hairless, yellow, smooth skin" kind of horror, and the "that's a person in a hazmat suit, why are they wearing hazmat suits?" kind of horror. The beauty of this is that we as the audience (and also the players, because the fun thing about TTRPGs is that you can be both audience and protagonist at the same time) get to experience double the horror. We can feel for the protagonists and their struggles in this dangerous, deadly world, where everything seems out to get them, and we get to understand things that they don't or even can't grasp. We get to put the clues together, painting by numbers in the negative space left by the stoats' explanations, while still reeling from trying to understand why the world works the way it does. We can piece the kind of environmental disaster together that caused the Blue, while being surprised by a horde of carnivorous chipmunks piloting a dying bear. We get to feel twice as afraid of this world by virtue of hearing the words "loss of coolant accident in reactor charlie" spoken by a human, but understood by stoats, and understanding what those words imply.

All in all, I am very happy with Burrow's End. I have previously stated that as a horror fan I was disappointed by Neverafter; I did enjoy it a lot, but it just didn't scratch that itch (not trying to badmouth Neverafter here, just stating my personal experience). Burrow's End is more than making up for that, especially since I didn't expect it going in. I am extremely impressed by Aabria's ability to first create, and then hand us the tools to unravel a mystery on this scale where every new piece of information makes the whole picture seem more terrifying, and her nerves of steel to not reveal too much information, even this late in the game (reminds me a lot of how long it took to figure out everything about Kalina in Fantasy High Sophomore Year, to the point of only fully understanding her in the finale episodes, while she had been a mystery for almost all of the season). It takes a lot to not spill all your very cool lore as soon as you get the chance, and the organic way things have been revealed to the stoats and to us is really something else. I'm just really looking forward to episodes 9 and 10 of Burrow's End, and also all of Aabria's future projects with D20. Thank you @quiddie for this beautiful season, I'm enjoying myself so much!

[shigayokagayama]

gender+random headcanon for tome? or tsubomi, whichever one you're feeling

why not both?

tome:

Sexuality Headcanon:

lesbian!!!

Gender Headcanon:

trans girl! ive actually thought about this one a lot but her whole arc of like. coming out of her mostly male friendgroup and trying to totally remake herself to fit into a girl friendgroup and make herself more palatable to girls her age before realizing that all her friends have weird hobbies too and you dont have to stifle all your interests to fit in with other girls fits the experience of a lot of trans girls i know

A ship I have with said character:

her and keiko from the reigen manga

GAY PEOPLE

A BROTP I have with said character:

her and mob's friendship is very special to me but her and the whole telepathy club ouuughhhhhhh alien arc my beloved... i miss when youd get like 20 posts a day of her and takenaka messing with each other with telepathy shenanigans they mean the world to me. i also think she and teru would get along really well theyd be terrible influences on each other.

A NOTP I have with said character:

i really cannot see her with mob i know this is punching down because theres maybe 1 person on the planet who ships this but theyre definitely a "mob-kun youre my best friend and i love you but i would never date you under any circumstances" sorta friendship. also not really a notp just a "?" but of the possible femslash ships i feel like her and tsubomi appeals to me the least. probably just because they never interact and we dont know enough about tsubomi's interests to know if theyd have anything in common. it gives "pair the spares but we dont like mezato" to me.

A random headcanon:

tome mentions in one of the semi canon anthologies that kijibayashi asked her out when they were first years and im incorporating that into my worldview. i also think she and takenaka had a like one week long middle school "relationship" that consisted primarily of them being too awkward to speak to each other or be in each other presence until they broke up over text just because it makes alien arc even funnier. also more of a reigen headcanon than a her headcanon but in the context of reigen manga i think it makes sense if reigen was very similar to her in middle school then when he was approaching highschool he was like "well i cant stay passionate about things forever" and dedicated himself solely to being a good student and good employee til he burned himself out.

General Opinion over said character:

she is solidly my second favorite mp100 character i love her so so much shes so special to me shes like. level of favorite character where i get excited handflaps seeing art of her. daughter of all time.

tsubomi:

Sexuality Headcanon:

aro lesbian is fun for her i think!

Gender Headcanon:

one of my friends really likes transmasc tsubomi and i respect the vision. boy fans be like "not yet"

A ship I have with said character:

mezato and tsubomi. listen. listen to me. of all the femslash ships it makes the most sense. every time we ever hear mezato talk about tsubomi it gives "dear dumb diary". that girl is one long psychoanalytical speech about this girl she's never even had a conversation with from realizing she's bisexual and i think tsubomi would find mezato a really interesting person to interact with. they'd study each other like bugs. it's perfect.

A BROTP I have with said character:

her and mob staying friends is really important to me i like them a lot </3

A NOTP I have with said character:

honestly none really, like i said with tsubomi i dont really get tsutome but i dont dislike it. i prefer her and mob as friends but i dont necessarily think them getting together like. years post canon really ruins the message of the show or anything bc the whole point of the confession arc is that he was chasing this fake image he'd built of her as this perfect person so them getting to know each other and dating in the future wouldnt really ruin that i dont think.

A random headcanon:

i think she's a music person!!! one of her fanbook interviews mentioned that she likes to scream as loud as she can in empty piano rooms and it kind of put the idea of her going into music theory or smth when she's older into my head

General Opinion over said character:

i really really like her and find her narrative role interesting and i both wish we got more of her but also understand that knowing tsubomi would kind of ruin the plot of the show. seeing her only as glimpses and trying to extrapolate who she is through that is unfortunately the point </3

[kijosakka]

Thoughts. okay so the total drama drama drama drama island special is interesting mainly bc of team e-scope but im going to take a moment here to ramble about his dynamic with other people here,,

(oh and i didn't have anywhere really to slot it into the other post or segue into it here but dodgebrawl as a Moment demonstrates how [this AU] noah can play the social game, just in a very very different way than how it's normally seen.

he knows what he's doing is going to bother his team and incentivize them to vote, i'd say in this au he even plays up the cockiness and makes veiled personal slights against specific people

(mainly those who would be annoyed enough to vote him off, see: heather, justin, leshawna, cody/trent to some extent if he said smth about gwen? < and gwen herself in that scenario. and to another extent beth, since hes playing up his outright mean traits, which would make lindsay vote with her. i dont think he would do anything specific to/with owen or izzy, since he may see izzy as too volatile and owen too genuine)

in the opposite way of whats expected, sure, but it is a social play. he can pick apart what these people are and what they show and push at it to achieve his own ends (and maybe its even some sort of way for him to regain control in this fundamentally uncontrollable situation he's found himself in; he can be the punishment in foucalt's imagining, to a much smaller degree))

so his teammates,,, do not like him tbh. his flagrant display during dodgeball and everyone being pissed at him after the fact is true in this AU, just coming with different motivations. even after the fact when the frustration of everyone fizzles out, hes still majorly offputting because of his detachedness, and deliberately makes his shown traits very unpalatable to experience in person combined with that.

the only two exceptions are izzy and owen respectively: owens mostly coming from a place of genuineness and im going to say while he wouldnt be able to verbalize it, in some manner owen would clock noahs behavior as a defense mechanism. maybe in the sense of 'hes just scared to open up to people!!' or something similar, but he definitely has a lot more faith that noah really isnt that cold and flat.

[*]izzy feels much the same -- except maybe it comes off more to her as strategic. izzy can act, and might recognize that in noah. if you wanted to you could write this in as to why she was eager to swap teams in the first episode, but it wouldnt change that he does get eliminated and thats all she sees of him until the special -- which, her intrigue in his lacking and the fact that it apparently wasnt strategic to get him further in the game, could help explain why she picks him in the team-up.

[*i have soooo much to say about izzy in this au actually. but ill save it for a diff post]

and speaking of the team-up: team e-scope!!!! :0

my au my rules eva and izzy became really good friends on the playa; izzy isn't afraid of eva (and curbing her anger before it reaches a boiling point) and eva is physically adept enough to restrain izzy from Shenanigans that might be a little Much. but eva doesnt really?? know anything about noah?? but izzy insists on teaming with him for the special (and unbeknownst to her noah wasnt even planning to participate initially) so he must be some level of Not Too Bad if izzy wants anything to do with him that doesnt seem to be related to tormenting the guy

and she thinks hes Fine. apathetic and detached and unpalatable (but then again, everyone in their little trio really is to some degree), but can kind of understand izzys intrigue: hes still A Guy, hes just hidden behind 20 layers of non-substance that are so offputting from the first meeting it makes people steer clear of him.

now with tddddi comes two other pertinent details: the justin line, and the Thing With Duncan.

i personally thing noahs 'he's the anti-me' line is really funny in the context of canon but if you squint it kinda works here? wherein justin is non-speaking yet flaunts himself to be the center of attention and clearly shows intent and capacity to scheme (underdeveloped or no, see: awakeathon), whereas noah speaks a lot yet lets himself fade into the background, showing vague hints of the capacity to scheme but no intention or palpable ambition behind it.

^ am i reaching? maybe. the other option here is noah somehow has seen him in-person before on a modeling or red carpet kind of gig and dislikes him on principle because of it/its a jab at it (smth smth they are both opposite ends of the same industry? justin is the face of it in a manner where noah stays behind the scenes and out of sight)

and the thing with duncan,, hear me out here okay noah does his whole song and dance, goes up to him and patronizes him, and duncan retaliates. however, he curses like a sailor and in noah's head has ruined the footage, therefore instead of further retaliating and potentially invoking actual physical harm he just. doesnt react. at all. duncan looks up at him and hes just dead-eyed staring down at him -- and then he leaves.

^ the scene has been ruined, and everyone else is doing so much that theres no reason to play it up any more. duncan and him arent plot important like how heather and lindsay were, theres no reason for the crew to painstakingly edit his swearing out. they just wont let it reach the final cut. duncan is understandably very confused by this, but at that point noah was already gone to find eva and izzy again (< this is when the cast having a running bet that noahs and android becomes Not a Joke)

but life goes on!!! and in the worlds worst comedy of errors (for noah), izzy ends up dragging him along into the lake, thereby leaving him as a confirmed member of the next season.

^ noah is so angry at this. popping blood vessels. he argues with chris endlessly, straight frothing at the mouth at only having two days of real reprieve before he has to deal with the Same Shit again. and chris gets this, to some degree, but also knows that if theres no explanation for noahs non-appearance to hand the producers, theyll be pissed (since all things considered, noahs pretty damn popular among the fans)

luckily for him, courtney just filed a lawsuit against the show!! and since chris is busy running said show, the producers do not want to deal with it and are willing to hand off the case to anyone else -- hence, chris officially signs noah on as his PA, and noah takes over the court settlements and whatnot.

< though i do imagine the producers would see it as a 'get out of the show' scheme, and thereby push way harder for his involvement in WT as a result

but noah does get a break!!! for now, at least.

[brucebocchi]

Ranking every new anime I watched in 2023, Pt. 2: #20-11

hey, i just started a ko-fi for my writing and possible other creative outlets. this post will also be available there, so please check it out and consider tipping/donating as i'm currently between jobs. the tumblr version of part 1 can be found here.

Let's get right into it.

20. Helck

I watched Helck’s first season for its entire half-year run, and I'm honestly still not sure how I feel about it. I’d heard amazing things from people who’d read the manga, and it had a hot start, but the pacing slowed to such a crawl after a while that it kind of felt like they stretched out the story just so they could make another season.

Helck, an enormous and impossibly jolly human warrior, enters a tournament to decide the successor to the throne of the recently-slain Demon King. Demons and humans had been at war for some time, so Vermilio, an adorably fiery elite lord of the castle, is naturally wary of him. Helck is naturally powerful, talented, and affable, so he easily breezes his way through the tournament in hilarious fashion, despite Vermilio’s best efforts at sabotage. Before the finals can take place, though, an immortal army sent by the human forces arrive to attack the demon realm, and Helck and Vermilio are teleported to the far edge of the realm.

The season largely covers Helck and Vermilio’s trek back to the demon kingdom, as well as the demons’ struggles against the mysterious warriors as they attempt to figure out just what the hell the humans are plotting.  Vermilio remains leery of Helck, regardless of all he’s done for her, but it becomes further evident that Helck is harboring a very dark past, and eventually we get a lengthy arc where he sits down and explains it to Vermilio in flashback. There is, as you’d expect, plenty of tragedy there, and you’d like to see it resolved, but things just seem to keep getting worse.

There are powerful messages in there about toxic positivity and fighting the urge to shoulder one’s burdens alone, but they don’t become fully apparent until late in the season. Everything until then, at least after the teleportation, is… fine. I had higher hopes for this one, but it just feels like it’s missing something, and I can’t put my finger on what. It looks fine, the voice acting is good (the GOAT Katsuyuki Konishi is typically very good as Helck), the action is decent, it’s all… fine. The pacing just feels glacial at times, to the point where if I hadn’t been watching it weekly I might have bounced off of it.

Of course, the season ended with what appears to be the endgame on the horizon, so for all I know there’s still a lot more to come, but the story beats feel so familiar that I get the feeling it could be resolved with, like, a movie. I hope I’m wrong, because there are clearly some major emotional payoffs yet to come, and I’m still curious to see how it gets there. I may have to pick up the manga to find out if it’ll be worth any more of my time.

19. Urusei Yatsura (2022), second cour

Fresh off of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure’s possible series finale, David Production’s modern take on Rumiko Takahashi’s legendary comedy manga hummed along nicely into 2023. The cast continues to expand as the new version introduces characters like Ten, Ryunosuke, and Tobimaro to further raise the level of shenanigans inherent to Urusei Yatsura.

Lum Invader has been a sex symbol for pretty much as long as anime has had sex symbols, but the reboot’s second cour focuses a bit more on the side of her personality that makes her so iconic, and which I consider essential to several of my favorite female anime characters: Lum’s kind of a psychotic asshole. Her schemes to wring more attention and affection out of Ataru border on sociopathic at times, and she’s honestly so real for that. Her mortal frenemy, Ran, was introduced close to the end of the first cour, and there is still no shortage of sabotage attempts in the second, but we quickly come to learn that Ran’s undying vendetta is mostly because Lum has been a selfish, lying piece of shit since they were kids. God bless her.

Ataru continues to not be much better, serial philanderer that he is, as he continues to be surrounded by other hot crazy ladies who aren’t his not-fiancee. Mendo’s younger sister, Ryoko, is a real highlight in the 2023 run as a result of her escalating penchant for Looney Tunes-esque slapstick violence. The settings of Ataru’s and Lum’s respective worlds take more focus as well, between Ataru’s high school hijinks and Ten’s galactic mail-order mishaps, and the two often collide in hilarious fashion.

I still adore the look of this one. Character models have been cleaned up and simplified to a sort of retro-modern look while still being instantly recognizable to anyone already familiar with them. Everything is awash in an eye-popping Day-Glo color palette. Backgrounds and pop-in gags are often adorned with Ben Day dots to maintain the retro comic look. This doesn’t quite look like the manga, nor does it resemble the original 80s anime, but this is unmistakably a Rumiko Takahashi product. It almost looks like it could have come out at any point in time.

I’m only holding this back in the rankings because it’s the weaker half of a season that straddled the end of 2022 and the start of 2023, but the season as a whole is excellent. It is an essential watch for fans of comedy anime, especially considering so many tried-and-true anime gags effectively originated with Urusei Yatsura (it’s worth mentioning that Lum is largely considered the first-ever tsundere in anime and manga). Season 2 is imminent and I cannot fucking wait. Maybe I’ll even read the manga.

18. Tomo-chan is a Girl!

This is basically Monthly Girls’ No-jock-i-kun. Very simple premise: Tomboyish high schooler gets the hots for her childhood friend who is dense as fuck and forgets most of the time that she’s even a girl. Hilarity ensues and romance progresses glacially.

The voice performances are what really carry this one. Rie Takahashi is golden as the titular Tomo Aizawa, and this was the first entry in an MVP-caliber resume for her in 2023 that was so stacked that I still haven’t gotten to her best role yet. Rina Hidaka nails the conniving, misanthropic nature of Misuzu Gundo in a far cry from her turn as Emul the bunny in Shangri-La Frontier later in the year. The American-born idol Sally Amaki is a revelation as the airheaded gaijin Carol Olston, whom she also voices in the English dub. Even Carol’s mom speaks broken Japanese with a noticeable American accent, which is one of my favorite gags in the whole show.

Outside of the voice acting, nothing is particularly special about this show. Which is fine! There's nothing wrong with a solid 7/10 romcom; junk food is still food. It’s cute, it’s funny, it hits all the right beats, but nothing particularly stands out. Misuzu and eventually Carol give Tomo advice to try to woo her bestie Jun, while Misuzu is usually also playing Jun against that same advice so that it usually works and backfires at the same time. It’s all a game, and she plays both sides so she can always come out on top.

If I have a complaint about this show, it’s that it just… ends. I went back and read the manga, and unfortunately that issue is not the anime’s fault. If anything, it did a phenomenal job of fitting eight volumes of a 4-koma into a single season, and that’s always how it was supposed to go. I watched and read a ton of slice-of-life romance anime and manga this year, as it turns out, and the ones that really hit for me are usually the ones that take their time with the central relationship once it actually starts, rather than treat that big event as the climax, or worse, the finale of the story. Stuff like Kaguya-sama, Horimiya, Sweat and Soap, and even Wotakoi (though I have my own problems with that one) treat their central relationships as a step, not the goal.  At the same time, for plenty of others, the fun is in the chase, and they just run out of time, and Tomo-chan is the latter. We got what we wanted, and we had fun getting there. Sometimes that’s all you need.

Also good god, Tomo’s mom. The second those genes kicked in for Tomo, Jun was doomed.

17. The Eminence in Shadow, second cour and season 2

The Eminence in Shadow is the smartest piece of stupid media I've seen in a minute. It so perfectly skewers dime-a-dozen chuunibyo isekai trash while still cannonballing into a McDuckian swimming pool of the stuff. It nearly overwhelms you with lore; the series abounds with rich backstories, centuries-old power struggles, palace intrigue, shadowy conspiracies, the artificially accelerated march of progress, long-simmering revenge plots, looming economic catastrophe, and love dodecahedrons. And the most compelling thing about all of it is that none of it fucking matters.

Cid Kagenou spent his teenage years in modern Japan trying to become the coolest badass dark antihero who ever lived, but he quickly reaches his limits in our boring normal world so he rides the isekai truck into a world with actual, like, magic and shit. He spends his new childhood leveling up and rescuing elf girls, all the while regaling them with his “wisdom” in the form of a bunch of horseshit he made up based on all the light novels he used to read. Turns out that he’s entirely too genre savvy; this new world is apparently so contrived that every single thing he told them ended up entirely true.

So now Cid’s a teenager by day and shadowy vigilante by night (under the apt moniker “Shadow”), with an underground legion of hot deadly babes at his disinterested beck and call. All he genuinely cares about is looking and acting like the coolest motherfucker a socially inept 12 year old boy can think of, and in his downtime actively trying to be a forgettable mob character. And I do mean that that is all he cares about; when I say none of the wheels within wheels happening in the background actually matter, I mean that Cid is completely and totally unaware of any of it. 

Anything he does or says to drive the plot is either incidental or accidental. He spouts off some nonsense he heard in a video game once, and his cadre of elf baddies and beastgirls takes it as gospel en route to exposing a millennium-old conspiracy. He parrots a really cool line he heard ten minutes ago and a beautiful woman he just saved takes it as inspiration to turn her life around. It’s kind of like in Mashle, funnily enough; where Mash will go “I don’t know what’s going on, but you were being mean to my friend so I’m gonna beat the shit out of you,” Cid is more like “No clue what this is about, but that’s a really badass looking villain, so I’m gonna say some epic shit and do a big explosion.” And then he fucks off to go eat a burger or something, not knowing or caring that he just unraveled a prophesied master plot to destroy the global power balance.

The episodes that aired in 2023 largely revolve around the lovely Princess Rose, smitten with both Cid and Shadow (not knowing they’re the same guy), pledging fealty to Shadow Garden after failing to foil a coup d’etat. At the same time as her training, Cid is busy with a vampire something-or-other and then tries to make some coin for himself by teaming up with an assassin hellbent on revenge to create a credit crisis. The conspiracy later drags Rose back into the palace, where Cid sees a new opportunity. Every single one of these things has very specific reasons for happening, and everyone involved has a rich backstory and clear motivations to carry out their parts of the ever-evolving plots.

But that’s not why you’re here. You’re here to watch a bunch of hot ladies and a guy in a black cloak with one glowing red eye do some sick action stunts to bad guys with silly names, and this show delivers that in spades. This feels like a throwback in the best and worst ways. The Eminence in Shadow is stupid, and it is brilliant.

16. Mushoku Tensei: Jobless Reincarnation, season 2

Mushoku Tensei is a tough anime to talk about. On one hand, it is one of the most gorgeous anime series ever put on television: Almost consistently movie-quality sakuga, lush background art, and a breathtaking score come together to form an immersive world unlike many I’ve seen in any medium. On the other, it forces some very unpleasant conversations about reincarnation in anime, particularly ones like this where a grown man is reincarnated as a child while retaining his mental age and is surrounded by potential love interests closer in age to his new body. What doesn’t help is that in his previous life in our world, the man who would reincarnate as Rudeus Greyrat was a socially isolated hentai addict, and much of his journey centers around him unlearning those proclivities in unfortunate and often damaging ways. If you can handle that, Mushoku Tensei is a rewarding watch, but if that’s beyond the pale to you, I don't blame you in the slightest.

However, even if you’ve been able to stomach all of the questionable shit in the first season, I'm sorry to say that the second season’s first cour doesn’t do much for the “bro I promise he gets better bro” crowd. The first cour covers the Quagmire and Academy arcs, which follow Rudeus’ struggle with being effectively abandoned by the only person to show him any physical affection in either life. The knock-on effect sees him retreating into an antisocial shell and developing, and I am deadly serious here, a seemingly incurable case of erectile dysfunction.

The first few episodes surround Rudeus growing into a young man, making a name for himself as a wandering adventurer in hopes that talk of his name will spread to his missing family and friends. At the urging of the god with a direct line to him (still unexplained), he enrolls in a magic university to investigate the calamity that flung his loved ones to the corners of the realm. There he finds an old friend in the figure-obsessed young prince who saved his life in the previous season, a girl from his previous world who seems to have also been transported to this one, and most crucially, his old childhood friend Sylphiette, hiding in plain sight with new hair and a sick pair of shades as a retainer to a scheming princess enrolled in the school.

Mushoku Tensei's initial season was at its best in its quieter moments, and those abound in season 2’s first cour. It's really lovely seeing him connect once again with Sylphie purely for who she is, even though for all Rudy knows he’s talking to a twinky dude named Fitz who makes him feel weird things. We get our amazing action animation early on, and things settle down quite a bit from there as Rudeus navigates all of these interpersonal relationships, old and (seemingly) new.

And while, yes, this version of Rudeus is a far cry from the drooling, grinning pervert he was in his first ten years of reincarnation, his improvement as a human being is not a straight line. He unfortunately takes more steps backwards than forward. The things he says in a drunken rage about his party member Sara (who inadvertently revealed his ED) are awful and undeserved, he literally ties up and gropes a pair of beast girls from his class (he has apparent reasons for both of those things, but come on), and he “frees” a young dwarven slave to take on as an apprentice. That last one seems admirable on its face, but uh. He went with the flow in a god damned slave market and still paid a slaver.  

I'm not excusing those things, nor absolving Rudeus as a character; I'm simply saying they happen this season. Mushoku Tensei, for better or for worse, depicts gnarly subject matter as it is while neither glorifying it nor moralizing about it. It trusts you to make your own judgments, and if your verdict is “I can’t watch this show,” that is perfectly valid. If you can stomach watching through its worst moments and compartmentalize the uncomfortable aspects of it, Mushoku Tensei remains one of the best-looking and -sounding pieces of animation out there, and the part of its second season that aired in 2023 has an exceptional emotional payoff. Otherwise, I'll be talking about Frieren much later.

15. Spy x Family, season 2

The most succinct praise I can give season 2 is also the most backhanded: Well, it’s more Spy x Family.

I want to be clear that there is no shade inherent to that comment; the first season of Spy x Family was excellent! It was a stylish, beautifully animated, appropriately hilarious adaptation of a fantastic manga that did it justice in almost every regard; the second season didn’t need to move heaven and earth to try to one-up it. It wasn’t broken, so Wit and CloverWorks didn’t fix it. It’s still the blend of domestic slice-of-life hijinks, tense cold-war intrigue, and heart-pounding action it’s always been. Even the production music is largely the same, and that’s not a complaint, because SxF’s production music fuckin' slaps.

A lot of anime-onlys rightfully complained that Yor’s plot relevance seemed to fall off a cliff in the back half of season 1, so they have been eating GOOD this time out, as season 2’s (ostensible) first cour puts her directly in the spotlight. The Yor Cour, if you will. The season opened on a hilariously spot-on adaptation of my favorite Yor-centric chapter of the manga (the “bullet in the ass” one) and quickly moved on to a nearly perfect interpretation of the cruise arc that sees her protecting a government asset from a legion of assassins. 

If you wanted to see more of Yor in her second life as the contract killer, Thorn Princess, this season was a meal and a half for you. Having her beset on all sides by an eccentric rogues’ gallery, with Anya fully aware and trying her damnedest to keep Loid from finding out what’s actually going on, is Spy x Family at its best. The tension constantly ramps up as the ship approaches its target, and Anya’s attempts at distracting Loid usually go sideways because, well, she’s Anya. Blood splatters, laughs are had, and Loid continues to struggle with both fatherhood and acting like his growing affection for his ragtag “fake” family is just “for the mission.” 

Outside of the cruise, season 2 maintains the series’ usual episodic pace, which can be a little jarring before and after the cruise arc, but that’s SxF for you. Shit can pop off at unexpected moments, and having read ahead in the manga, I’m excited to see the next time that happens. For now, though, things can feel kinda static from time to time, but the Forger family and the extended cast are always pleasant to just hang out with for a while.

And now to wait for the movie to come out in the west.

14. Undead Unluck

Up until this past Winter season, I primed myself on a lot of the more-hyped anime by reading the manga ahead of time. I knew that Undead Unluck is one of the bigger Shonen Jump manga out there, but this debut kind of crept up on me. I went in blind, got drawn in by the premise, and then got quickly overwhelmed with a wild amount of lore.

Fuuko, a young woman seemingly afflicted with a curse, is saddled with a brash, enormous man who cannot die after he foils her suicide attempt and is then himself grievously injured. Don’t worry, he got better. It turns out that he’s roughly 200 years old and has a completely cracked healing factor, while she brings terrible misfortune to anyone who touches her skin. They are both Negators, people with the ability to reverse or ignore the laws of nature: Fuuko’s ability is Unluck, causing tragedy for those close to her, while the man is Undead, exactly what it says on the tin. The man, who cannot remember his own name, believes their meeting to be kismet: If she can bring death to her loved ones, he vows to woo her so she can deliver the death he’s sought for so long. I promise this is a comedy.

Fuuko and Andy (whom she named as shorthand for the Japanese pronunciation of “undead”) foil a series of assassination attempts by other Negators, and take their spots as part of the Union eliminating threats to the universe. They team with an eclectic group, whom we’re still getting to know as of the end of the first cour, as they trot the globe to complete quests given to them by a mysterious (and seemingly nefarious) talking book lest the universe incur penalties for their failure.

The power system among Negators is one of the most inventive I've seen, with each one able to cancel out a specific element of the natural order of the world, and it’s a blast learning how each new one works. Andy in particular is wild; because he can regenerate himself so quickly, his weapon of specialty is his own body, never hesitating to use his own fingertips as bullets and his own gushing blood as a propulsion mechanism. He also has no compunction towards taking on the worst of Fuuko’s Unluck ability, often sacrificing himself to get hit by lightning or falling debris to deal damage to an enemy. Every new Negator power introduced adds a new wrinkle to the way this world works and the different shapes its action can take. Others can freeze matter into suspended animation, force people to act opposite their own intentions, or even subvert someone’s entire belief system. I cannot wait to see what else is in store.

The first cour’s pacing is a little off, and Andy's behavior towards Fuuko in the first couple episodes is nothing short of gross (I promise that eases up), but you can see the show finding its footing as it goes on. Shonen Jump series don’t last for nearly 200 chapters and counting by accident, and I'm excited to see where this goes.

13. NieR: Automata Ver. 1.1a

Those of us who played Yoko Taro’s 2017 masterpiece approached the announcement of an anime adaptation with some trepidation: So much of what made Nier Automata so outstanding and so beloved is that much of the delivery of its narrative is inherent to the fact that it’s a video game. How can a video game known for pushing against the fourth wall of the unique elements of its very medium be faithfully adapted as an anime?

The choice of studio was also concerning: Though A-1 has produced a ridiculous number of excellent series (and some aggressively mid ones that were nonetheless very successful), its track record with video game adaptations has been far less than stellar. The latter three films in the Persona 3 adaptations were solid if uneven, and the Valkyria Chronicles anime seems to have been well-received, but the same can’t be said of A-1’s takes on Ace Attorney, Persona 4 Golden, or Persona 5. Regardless, Yoko himself was heavily involved in the anime’s production, so if they could keep on budget and schedule, Nier Automata would have a fighting chance.

And while there indeed ended up being massive and likely unpredictable production delays, I'd say they’ve done almost as good of a job as they could have so far. While the first cour mainly covers Automata’s A and B routes, it does much more than just play that part of the story straight; it also takes the time to incorporate other elements of the Nier canon. A surprising amount of time is dedicated to the canon introduced in the YoRHa stage play (and by extension the Pearl Harbor Descent Record manga); Lily and the android resistance are woven directly into the narrative far beyond the vague overtures the game makes in their direction. Ver 1.1a also ties the history of the original Nier into the story at unexpected and intriguing (and in my case, tear inducing) moments. 

Unfortunately, it’s still too soon to assess this series in its entirety. While too many people who played Nier Automata stopped after route A or B, there is still much more of this story to come. There was some very sloppy CGI integration in the first episode when it aired, but far from enough to put me off the series. For now, it’s a treat for Nier fans, but I’m not sure whether I can recommend it yet to people who are unfamiliar with the source material.

Until the anime is completed, go play Nier Automata. It’s one of my favorite games of all time.

12. Kaguya-sama: Love is War -The First Kiss That Never Ends-

This was a late 2022 theatrical release, but it didn’t see western release until this year and was split into a four-episode mini-season for streaming, so I'm counting it for this year. You can deal with it.

I got completely obsessed with Kaguya-sama early this year, and in record time. I binged the anime and the manga in the span of a couple weeks and irreversibly fell in love. I say with no reservation that it is the best romantic comedy, in any medium, of the 21st century. It nails both the romance and the comedy in equal measure; the characters are perfectly realized right down to the supporting cast, the dynamics between them are carefully considered and consistent with their personalities regardless of circumstance, and every emotional and comedic beat hits exactly as it’s meant to. There is a constant momentum moving the greater plot along, even in the smaller moments, and seismic shifts take over before you’ve even noticed they’re happening.

It’s rare for romcom manga adaptations to stay on the air long enough to actually reach the romantic payoff, and Kaguya-sama fucking nailed it in season 3. Well, we’re pretty sure it did; the central conceit of the psycho-romantic warfare between Kaguya Shinomiya and Miyuki Shirogane is that they’re both chronic overthinkers and won’t accept any romantic undertones or overtures in any form but an explicit confession. So while the finish to season 3 is everything we wanted as an audience, these two dorks still sense a margin for error. Regardless, that would have been a perfectly acceptable place to end the anime.

HOWEVER, the Ice Queen Kaguya arc that follows in the manga is iconic, and A-1 was absolutely right to adapt it. Although Shirogane is ready to move forward with the relationship that (he’s pretty sure) they’ve both wanted for a long time, Kaguya has a crisis of personality and inadvertently reverts to the dead-eyed, emotionally walled-off version of herself he’d initially met, well before either of them had realized they’d fallen in love with one another. The interstitial omake preceding this arc in the manga has Aka Akasaka warning the reader that in order to counteract the massive emotional payoff that just happened, the ensuing chapters would get very, very silly.

And of course, hijinks do indeed ensue; this is Kaguya-sama, after all. But before you realize it, the story is neck deep in Jungian psychology as self-doubt begins to plague Kaguya and Miyuki and they struggle with the faces they think they need to put on for the other and whether their “real” selves even deserve to be loved by the person they idolize. It gets heavy! I cried every time I watched it! And that first time was in a damn movie theater!

I’m much more comfortable appraising First Kiss as a mini-season than as a movie, because frankly, it doesn’t work as a movie. The animation, while maintaining the series’ standard of excellence, isn’t a single degree better than what aired on television, which can be disappointing upon a visit to the theater. The pacing is also off for a feature film; the common knock upon theatrical release was that it felt like four episodes stitched together (it even has the omake-style interludes between scenes, like the show). The arc also focuses very heavily on Kaguya and Miyuki specifically, so the ensemble cast I mentioned earlier does have to take a backseat. Splitting this up for streaming and televised release was the right move here.

Season 3 would have been a very good ending for this series if it never got picked up for the movie. If it doesn’t get picked up for a proper fourth season, this is the perfect place for it to end. The manga has now been adapted up to just past the halfway point, and the next best stopping point would have to wait until a possible, like, fifth season. And that arc in question, while it does have some iconic moments, is very uneven. If this is all we’re getting, we’ve gotten plenty already, and I am satisfied.

If you've watched the first three seasons of Kaguya-sama, you owe it to yourself to watch The First Kiss That Never Ends. It is nearly everything you could ask for. Also, read the manga if you haven’t already. It’s genuinely one of my favorite things I've ever read.

11. The Apothecary Diaries

This one is basically House M.D. set in the Ming Dynasty, and it fucks.

Maomao, an apothecary raised in a pleasure district near the palace of a fictional East Asian empire, is shanghaied (pun intended) into menial work in said palace. She hears tell of a supposed curse plaguing the emperor’s newborn children and the concubines that birthed them, quickly deduces that it may be poisoning, and discreetly leaves a message for the ailing new mothers. She’s found out by an impossibly beautiful young administrator named Jinshi, who quickly deduces that she’s one of the few literate peons in the rear palace, and he puts her to work in the pavilion of the concubine that heeded her advice.

With her knowledge of, resistance to, and slightly masochistic infatuation with various poisons, Maomao slots right in as an attendant and poison tester to one of the emperor’s embattled concubines. Often at Jinshi’s urging (even though she immediately gets the ick at his habitual flirting), Maomao finds herself investigating deaths, mysterious ailments, and strange behaviors, on top of the foreign world of palace politics. Though she’s a deeply jaded person who only seems to care for her special interests, Maomao is incredibly perceptive and often able to suss out the finer details others miss.

Surprisingly, this one is a really breezy watch, and much funnier than you might expect. For all its lush environs, slowly-mounting intrigue, and often stunning cinematography, The Apothecary Diaries isn’t afraid to get a little silly with it. The dialogue is snappy, quick gags abound in a familiar single-panel chibi style you wouldn’t expect in a setting like this, and Komi-esque cat ears spontaneously pop up from Maomao's head whenever her interest is piqued. Interactions between Maomao and Jinshi are always a hoot, and you can pretty quickly figure out where it’s going, although Maomao can’t because she’s still pretty sure Jinshi is a eunuch.

As she does in virtually every role in her dozen-plus years as a seiyuu, Aoi Yuuki crushes it in the starring role. She really nails the disaffected cynicism that animates most of Maomao’s internal monologue and sarcastic dialogue, as well as her hair-trigger glee when presented with her personal interests in food and drink, medicinal herbs, and of course, poison. Yuuki is an indispensable element in ensemble casts like One Punch Man, Persona 5, Nier Automata, Wotakoi, and the aforementioned KamiKatsu (as well as others I don’t plan on watching like My Hero Academia, Rent-a-Girlfriend, and The Seven Deadly Sins), so it’s especially nice to hear her in a spotlight role outside of the odd Madoka Magica, spider isekai, or Cyberpunk Edgerunners.

There are a handful of anime on this list that will be continuing or returning in January, and second only to my #1 anime this year, this is the one I’m most excited to see more of. At time of writing, the show appears to be shifting in a new direction, and I’m hoping to see it take less of an episodic pace.

Part 3 is on the way! I'm going to split my top ten into two more posts, because I ended up writing... a lot more than I'd expected.

[kenobicoffee]

Lavender Haze (by @kenobicoffee) a josh x reader fic (18+ MDNI)

A/N: It’s taken forever, but it’s here! Yay! Lemme know what I can do to get better, and leave a comment if you liked it!

Word Count: 3k, ~20 min read

Outline: You and Josh are getting high and watching music videos when you both get a little bit too turned on. Passionate making out leads to Josh asking very politely to eat you out while sitting on the couch as he jerks himself off to completion.

Trigger Tags: cussing, drug use (weed), period sex, oral - f receiving, masturbation, praise kink, sub Josh if you squint

Vibe Tags: romantic, eye contact, the FLUFFiest of smut, goofy ahh shenanigans, heavy musician vibes, lots of foreplay (patience is a virtue) theatrekid!Josh, poetry💕

————

“This is officially worse than the blankets,” you said as the soft Tennessee rain pattered away while the last track of an LP faded with a click. Josh sat up from his reclined position on the couch next to you, the warm glow of a lamp forming a halo around his sepia curls.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” he retorted, his buzz accentuating the midwestern drawl. He took another lazy drag of the joint you two had been sharing for the evening, and you shifted to look at him. Your gaze fell on the curve of his profile, and as he exhaled, you wondered for the millionth time what angelic painting he’d fallen out of to bring him here. Just seeing him lie there in the light of the evening made that pit in your stomach travel lower and lower, and you had to look away before your mind wandered too far where it shouldn’t go.

“Oh nothing,” you teased, arms crossed, “Just that I’m always cold at two a.m. when I wake up to find Puck has stolen all my blankets.”

It was this kind of banter that made him feel like home to you, like all of human history and art encapsulated his smile.

“How dare you besmirch the name of Mr. Goodfellow?” His voice had a regal air that might have sounded Shakespearian had his eyes not been half shut. “In this house? Blasphemy!”

“Joshua Michael, you are hogging that joint, and you know it.”

You stretched out your hand as he took one last dramatic pull, making sure to look extra innocent as he exhaled.

“I’m sorry mama,” he grinned, murmuring apologetically. “I’ll be good now, I promise. You want me to put another record on?”

“Absolutely not,” you said, “You’ll scratch it like you did the Bon Iver EP.”

He shrugged amiably and reached for the tv remote, “Guess we’ll do it the old fashioned way then.”

After several slow-motion clicks, he managed to open the Youtube app and a lyric visualizer for a psychedelic pop group began to play. You closed your eyes and breathed in deep, your nervous system beginning to level out for the first time in a week. With a heavy exhale, you started to melt into the cushions.

An arm pushed behind your back and around your midsection, and before you could register, Josh had nestled himself under your arm with his head on your chest. Instinctually you played with his curls, running your nails up the nape of his neck to just below his t-shirt collar. He hummed in approval of your light touch.

Soon, a down-tempo r&b tune was playing, and you felt him pick his head up slightly to look at the screen, “Oh shit, I forgot how incredible this music video is.” Your eyes fluttered open, nearly bothered by the interruption of your meditative state.

Colors and bodies flashed in and out of frame, and the characters leaned closer and closer till they were nearly on top of each other. They swayed and clung to each other's waists while a breathy vocalist sang of a need for touch, a desire to be felt. It was the kind of softcore thing you couldn’t quite pull away from, and you could see he was watching intently too.

“I love your algorithms–they don’t make any fucking sense,” you chimed in, hoping your nonchalant tone would hide how much you secretly enjoyed the mood shift.

Without breaking his focus from the screen, he began to run his fingers on your stomach, mirroring your scratches to his head and neck. “I can’t be defined, babydoll,” he responded, his delivery maddeningly vague. “You know the same production team worked on the video for…”

You lent an ear while he spiraled off on a tangent, seemingly unaware of the amount of lust that was building in you simply from hearing him speak. He was intoxicating, and even as blurry as you were, you couldn’t deny how welcome his touch felt. With every pass of his palm further up your torso, you hoped he’d overreach and graze your breast. And why not? You thought to yourself, What’s so different about tonight?

You surreptitiously shifted your body lower beneath him, the devil on your shoulders’ voice becoming almost unbearable. By the third or fourth song your pulse had quickened not insignificantly, and thoughts of him running his hand underneath your shirt to find your hardening nipples there had replaced all fuzzy exhaustion.

You tried to recall why a nagging feeling in the back of your mind kept steering you away, but it was all turning up blank in the thick cloud of dopamine. Still, you knew it couldn’t be nothing, and decided on compromise: One little kiss, that’s all. He’s not even paying attention. And so you brushed the curls away from his forehand and laid a deep kiss there. He was so warm against your lips it felt nearly impossible to break away, but as you did he quickly lifted his gaze to meet yours.

His lips parted softly as if to say something, then all at once they were on yours, moving with grace and hunger as you tugged gently on each other. He sat up straighter, lips never leaving yours as he balanced his weight on top of you. Your hands pressed firmly into his lower back, willing his pelvis to roll against yours, and you felt that same heat starting to build beneath his boxer briefs too.

You wanted to feel him, to hold his slight waist close to yours and run your fingers down his back till his whole body was covered in chills and desire. He broke temporarily from your lips and sighed as you ran your fingers from the nape of his neck all the way down to his tailbone. His chest pressed against yours and anchored you to the moment—two souls sharing a singular fluttering heartbeat.

His solid hands held your back and you reached to hang your arms around his neck. The movement forced him to burrow his nose into the crook of his neck, and he wasted no time peppering the delicate skin there with the same hungry kisses. You could feel the pressure leaving red welts that you’d have to attend to in the morning. Tonight though, they only served as proof of the affection he felt for you too.

He could’ve stayed content to hold you like that forever, but the building heat between you two was so saccharine, you felt you owed it to whatever hedonistic god to indulge yourself. Without hesitating, you slipped the neck of his t-shirt up over his curls and discarded it to the side.

The smile that met you was nothing short of a sunbeam. You could tell he hadn’t been sure what tonight held either, but every time you took initiative like this he knew it gave him permission to worship you like the goddess he always claimed you were.

He pulled himself to a seated position on the ground in front of you. You followed him forward while he settled on his knees, hands running up and down your body. They found the hem of your t-shirt and slipped seamlessly beneath to find your breasts. He held you steady as he rubbed your nipples in small, gentle circles.

You felt your back start to arch slightly at the pressure, and just as your kisses were gaining speed he reached a hand up to your chin and held you there, the other continuing its rhythm on your breast.

“God, you’re perfect in this light,” his words were breathy and sincere, and you wished with everything in you to swallow them whole and feel the light rush out through your pores. He set his lips to your jaw, inching further down your throat till he was nearly below your neckline.

“Help me out?” he breathed between quick kisses, never one to let clothing keep him at bay. You acquiesced immediately, pulling the edge of your t-shirt up over your head and out of mind.

Goosebumps covered your naked form, and you shivered. Noticing them, he paused his procession to run his palms up and down your arms. You grinned at him, jaw trembling slightly, “Sssee? Always making me cold.”

“You’re like poetry.” His voice was deeper now, deeper than you’d heard it in a while. His hazy eyes followed an invisible trail he mapped along your sternum, and the goosebumps multiplied. You saw the notch in his brow furrow as he began searching for something to say.

“I would not paint — a picture —

I'd rather be the One

It's bright impossibility

To dwell — delicious — on —”

Fuck.

“And wonder how the fingers feel

Whose rare — celestial — stir —

Evokes so sweet a torment —

Such sumptuous — Despair —”

“Oh Joshua,” was all you could breathe out in response, your chin jutting forward, crease on your forehead betraying how desperately you needed him. Your cheeks burned as he crashed back into you for a full and hungry kiss, his tongue reaching for more. Feeling your reaction, his hand traveled back down to your waistband.

Finally, like a ghost in the mirror, you recalled why you’d been so hesitant earlier. A millisecond to spare, you shot your hand down and caught his wrist. You could see a dart of panic in his eyes–he was afraid he’d upset you.

“Is this ok?”

“Yeah, yes, It’s just—” more color returned to your cheeks, and the words started to bubble over, “If you take off my pants it’ll get messy: it’s like, day four of my cycle. I totally spaced, baby, I’m sorry.” Your words were exasperated as you mentally kicked yourself for letting your brain fog this badly.

He pulled back to look you in the eye, faux sternness furrowing his brow, “Hey love?” You raised an eyebrow in answer to his sudden shift, “Full transparency: I couldn’t care less if you’re on your period, let alone what day.”

“Are you… are you sure?” Now your own brow was knit, skeptical of his sincerity. It wasn’t that you doubted him, simply that you needed confirmation. Your pulse quickened slightly and you focused your waning attention into his velvet brown eyes, searching for any apprehension he might have hidden for your sake. To your great surprise and relief, you could find none.

“I mean, god knows I’ve come face to face with a bodily fluid or two,” he flashed a devilish grin that spanned his entire face.

You quirked a small grin back, trying to feign indifference even while your heart was beating out of your chest, “Well, sure. I mean… really?”

“Really,” he continued, batting his eyelashes,“Maroon makes my eyes pop.”

“You’re a mess,” you said with a giggle.

“I will be.” He gave your waist a reassuring squeeze as he shifted his weight off his knees. “I’ll wear it like a badge of honor, '' he promised solemnly.

You thought about protesting once more just to check, but before you had a chance, his palms had slipped behind your lower back and he was pulling you towards himself. Your body shifted till you hung just barely off the edge of the couch, his hands effortlessly tugging your sweats and underwear off in a single tug.

“Theeeeere she is,” he exclaimed softly, a low hum building in his tone. With the shift in your weight came an equal one in mentality, and you felt your anxieties start to lift. It had been a while since you’d let him take full control, and the pure indulgence of it all was bringing a fire to your core the likes of which you hadn’t felt in months.

Slow and methodical, he parted your knees, gracing them with the backs of his fingers first, then tenderly running his hands along your thighs as he hummed softly, mostly to himself.

“Mmmm, it's like–what’s the new Hozier song?” He searched his hazy brain for the lyrics while he continued to run his hands along your skin, seemingly unaware of the tizzy he’d put you in. “I’d tell them put me back in, coach! Yeah, that’s the one…”

He tittered on as if speaking from an entirely different point of view, his words seemingly unaware of his thumb which was rubbing itself up and down your inner thigh. He swooped ever closer to your clit until he graciously pressed there in gentle circles.

“Take me to church!” He crooned, a lopsided grin washing over his face before bending to land soft kisses on each thigh. With a final glance up at you and the ghost of smirk that suggested he might be more coherent than he was letting on, his lips graciously smoothed over your sensitive clit. His tongue licked up your vulva to encompass all of you in smooth, wet pleasure.

“Oh god,'' you tried not to shout, although the work he’d done up to this point made you feel nearly ready to burst in record-time.

“Mhmm” he murmured into you. You could feel his lips smiling: he loved talking you through your pleasure. The rumblings always went straight through your center like electricity and gave you the deepest orgasms, which in turn fueled his.

He continued his sucking and tonguing, sometimes soft and light, then all at once more firm and deliberate. His lips were like waves crashing again and again to a steady unheard beat. As you found a common tempo your breath deepened with every exhale, and you released a sigh of your own. The melody, though quiet at first, shortly matched his in pitch and intensity.

He’d hum and you’d moan an echo to him, signaling your bliss in an ebb and flow of sounds shared between you; a language only you two could understand. His murmuring became groans and gasps as he came up for air, the temperature difference shocking your soaking cunt and exciting you even more. With each wave you ran your fingers through his curls, guiding his nose to press into you at the perfect angle, eliciting delicious moans which spurred the two of you on even more.

He clung to your hips as you began to roll yours into him, and he pressed his tongue greedily inside you, sending you dangerously close to the edge. “Baby, you’re doing so, so good, it might be soon,” you warned as you cupped his cheek in one hand, the other still pressing behind his neck to hold him in place.

He groaned and broke away with a smack, eyes half shut with the pleasureful haze filling both of your minds. “Hold on mama, I’ll get you there, I promise. Just gotta get these off,” he said, running his right palm down your calf to his boxer briefs. He hooked his thumb under the band at his waist while the other hand stayed anchored firmly on your knee.

The brief pause had pulled your mind temporarily out of the clouds, and you looked down to see that the arc of his cock was indeed reaching a fever pitch too strong to be ignored any longer.

“Oh god, baby I- I’m sorry I wasn’t even thinking, let m–” but as you went to sit forward the hand planted on your knee jumped up to your abdomen, pressing you back into the couch with a soft thud.

“Why are you saying sorry?” He stared directly into your eyes and continued pulling his boxer briefs off slow and deliberately. The question was as much a command to relax as it was an invitation to watch.

“If I needed your help, believe me baby, I’d ask.” His hand was on his cock now, already wet with so much precum, and the stare he was attempting faltered slightly as his fingers graced the tip.

“I’m not above begging–you know that,” he said, his voice gruff, erring a half step lower every time he reached the base of his cock. You felt your breath hitch, eyes flitting between his beautiful stare and his hand that continued stroking up and down.

“I bet you’d like that a lot, wouldn’t you?” His tone was darker, fueled by the eye contact, when suddenly—“Sicko!” he cried, his character voice nearly making you choke. You both erupted into bubbling laughter, and you shook your head slightly, brushing a rogue curl out of his eyes–He lets the intrusive thoughts win every time.

“Oh my god. Babe, you’re literally eating me out on my period,” you responded, dropping your hand firmly on the scruff of his neck again. He jumped slightly with the force of your grasp, and you could see his cock twitch the slightest bit more. You leaned in to match his energy, and with the darkest voice you could muster, confessed, “the sicko is you, darling.”

“Oh, right,” he said, a hazy smile floating back onto his face. His eyes closed as he lowered back down, “Right… fair point.”

His lips returned to your cunt, the promise of sweet release spurring him on to the finale. His movement was steady but desperate, and the smooth and consistent wake of your hips was shortly replaced by a more sporadic, forceful tide that pushed into him with vigor. He took it in stride, moaning as his own wake of pleasure began building in him.

You could tell he was moving his own hips at a quicken pace, as if imagining his cock was pushing deep inside you while he lapped at your drenched center. He spread his knees further apart, arching his back in order to bring himself closer to orgasm. His body was practically writhing underneath you, just the taste of you bringing him closer and closer.

The image of him completely at your mercy made every neuron in your brain fire simultaneously, and you moaned with a finality that let him know it was time.

Without warning his lips moved to encircle only your clit, and the focused sucking there sent you so dangerously close you nearly sobbed as you cried out, “Baby, come with me–on me, please.”

With a final cry you felt him oblige you, and he let out a long moan as you found yourself crashing into your orgasm. The release sent fireworks to your psyche, and he let you take over with your fingers the way you liked in the midst of it. He stood and watched you writhing with all the pleasure he’d given you, and with a final groan he joined you in ecstasy.

His head thrown back, he pumped himself onto your pussy, his mess joining your own and adding to the pleasure you were currently riding yourself through. Placing his free hand to your side, he knelt down closer and rubbed the sensitive head of his dripping cock in the folds of your vulva, spreading around his cum till both your sensitivities had become nearly too much to handle. Even then, he continued rubbing the shaft of his cock on your throbbing cunt till you gasped slightly from over stimulation.

His forehead met yours wordlessly, and you stayed there for a moment, breathing heavy from exertion. He sighed as he let his body flop down next to you, temples still touching. You ran your fingers up and down his arms, body still stuttering in the afterglow. The exhaustion was setting in, and you had to force yourself to open your eyelids to look at him–you needed to kiss him one more time before you fell asleep. He too had his eyes closed, a bleary smile playing across his face as if he were replaying pictures of you in his mind. You kissed him softly on his nose, still slightly wet and rosy, and his eyes fluttered open. As your pulses returned to their normal pace, he grabbed a blanket to clean you both up.

“We can wash it,” he said reassuringly, noticing your slightly reluctant side eye. Blanket in tow, he cupped his hand gently around your pussy and worked softly to make you feel as clean as possible. Once he was satisfied with his work, he tossed the blanket away to pull you in closer.

“You are entirely too good to me,” you whispered, the siren song of sleep finally taking its toll.

“You are entirely too good, momma,” he whispered back, and you both slipped away as the rain sang you into the deep blue.