#level of push back. idk. feels like entitlement to me.

[tineteenieworld3]

Okay I personally don’t love the ‘trope’? Or headcanon maybe? I don’t think it’s either of those things it’s just a thing. Again, this is completely my opinion and every one is entitled to theirs and everyone’s allowed to just have fun and do whatever they want because it’s seriously harmless, I always want to preface by saying that because the way I feel doesn’t mean the way others feel is wrong or anything. It’s just my thought process.

anyways sometimes I don’t love the treatment of Mike in comparison to Will. I don’t really enjoy when all the characters gang up on Mike, sometimes it happens in fics. Which again TOTALLY COOL there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that I still read. I think it’s more of us being so used to saying or hearing that Will deserves better, or that no one understands why Will would pick Mike or it’s always Mike just being less important or an ass while everyone cradles Will and his feelings.

Again, there’s nothing wrong with making stories like that or joking about it or anything this isn’t me saying that people who do that are dumb or ‘don’t know the characters’ because we’re all just here having fun and none of it is serious. Really, I just love talking about Mike and I think we need to do it more often especially since we’re waiting for season 5.

Mike isn’t less important than Will and Will doesn’t ‘deserve better’ or ‘can do better’. We said that so much after vol. 2 that it definitely ingrained itself into our heads and into the fandom which is understandable. But, I’ve said this before, Mike and Will are equals. The thing that makes them so interesting as a pairing is that they handle their problems without, usually, anyone knowing or outside input. They’re very much together in things and the same level, ya know? I’m not saying this great, but Mike isn’t some dick at all and he deserves as much attention and love as any other character.

He gets a lot of weight but on his shoulders and I think that perfectly represents his character. The expectations for him are much higher than the ones for El or Will or Max or really anyone (other than Nancy because people can’t handle a flawed woman) Mike just got lied to for a whole season straight. He messed up on one day throughout the entire season. Then he tried to fix it, he tried with El, he actually did apologize and fix his relationship with Will. That’s what’s confusing to me sometimes, Mike said the monologue and it was a mess, but he also wouldn’t have said shit if Will didn’t literally force him to. He pulled shit out his ass like any other kid in that situation would. And I think that’s what the writing represents is that Mike is saying stuff you’d hear in any cheesy rom com. But again, wouldn’t have happened if Will didn’t push him.

He really didn’t do anything wrong. Other than the first day in California, Mike was just being Mike but in more of a side character kind of way. El lied to him and then it was displayed to us as it being Mike’s fault. Mike gave Will a pretty great apology that I would die to get from anyone I cared about.

Idk maybe it just rubs me the wrong way because it’s kinda sad. Again, this is absolutely no hate to anyone who likes the trope or to write those stories I completely support you and the way you enjoy this fandom. This is just a personal opinion.

Anyways circling back to Will and Mike here. Their relationship is very mature they don’t have other people butting into it and giving their opinions because I think it would piss both of them off. These two have been friends since they were five and I think if Will heard anyone acting like he was a delicate Angel and Mike didn’t deserve him he’d be pissed off. Mike deserves love and respect, a shit ton of respect actually, just like any other character. Idk the character isn’t real so it really doesn’t matter at all and it’s all for fun of course, but Mike is just as important as Will and El. He’s a complete sweetheart that’s just trying his best.

Especially season 4. He acted out of wack and like a dick that one day and then basically never did again. His character is so interesting, but I love him and I personally believe he’s the best Will could ever do because it’s Mike and he’s not some unimportant character that deserves to be constantly under minded and treated like the villian.

Again this is all just my opinion and is absolutely no hate to fic writers who like this kind of story or anything like that at all, everyone can do whatever they want and I will never ever act like it’s dumb or something you shouldn’t do cause it really doesn’t matter and I support the drama it brings lmao. I just love talking about Mike Wheeler and I think since we all have a lot of downtime before season 5 it’ll be a good thing to do because we don’t explore him as much.

[coffinsister]

Jokes on you I literally love being invested in the drama of random YouTubers I don’t know - spill 👀👀👀

Anon you don't know what you just freaking unleashed onto the world

I gotta spill the freaking tea, but under read more, cuz this got hella long.

But okay, for context, this is about Minecraft Content Creators:: Dream and Tommyinnit mostly, but it's also about another Mexican YouTuber called Quackity

Basically, a super long time ago already actually, Dream announced he was making a new Minecraft server, after the DSMP tragically passed away o7 that was gonna be called the USMP (I'm pretty sure it standed for United SMP but no clue honestly.)

And the exciting new feature about this USMP was going to be this real time translator, so content creators from all over the world could play together (Side thought: I don't think the translations were actually that good either way lol they were machine translated lol)

But literally like that Same night, Quackity announced that actually he was making his own server, the QSMP that had that exact same feature

So they basically kinda fought back and forth over who actually had ownership over the idea or who ripped off who, and while the YouTubers themselves didn't really do much, beyond being way too public about it, but like honestly, what's the Minecraft sphere without incredibly levels of parasociality involved.)

The fanbase was completely deranged over it tho, because you know, Stans gotta be Stans.

A lot of people got doxed, and stalked, literally putting trackers on people's cars, a lot of racism (Hi, hello, that happened to me) just a shitshow overall.

I wanna say that even though I stopped liking Dream ages ago Dream Stans get the worst possible treatment from everybody, just idk, people feel very entitled to mistreating anybody with a ":)" on their bio.

At the end, it finally died down, and then, Tommyinnit, most annoying man on Earth.

Made an ohhh politically incorrect video that was just fake edgy and kinda boring, where at the end he called Dream, basically a crybaby manchild who was gonna get killed by Tommy's LARP Dad Philza Minecraft.

Dream found out, got passive aggressive on Twitter, Tommy doubled down, and then like a stream later, he was being whiny and sighing ,and apparently watching DNF edits of Dream's, new at the time, LP.

Which kinda gave off the message that he really sacrificed a years long friendship to try to get into an SMP that his bestie Tubbo made it into before him

And which he never will, because the QSMP is a very deeply controlled space, with almost no super young content creators, and Tommy's first DSMP video was him literally breaking the only rules of that the server had, so yeah, that's never happening.

(And then, his mom went online to defend him, like boy the way I'm immediately killing myself if that ever happens to me, plus the dream stans discussing with this woman over her son, literally most annoying people in the world.)

And today, Dream made a (In my opinion, super boring) stream just showing the USMP, and talking a bit about Tommy and Quackity.

He kinda implies that the reason the USMP will never see the light of day is because of that drama, but like, that man has never once pushed through on any of his proyects, that SMP was doomed to fail from the very beginning.

I must clarify tho, that my annoyance with Tommy isn't the fact that he dissed Dream. I just freaking don't like the guy, he literally built his entire career on being a mysoginistic lowkey lesbophobic annoying brat.

Kinda sucks that Tommy is the one making the biggest mcyt related videos at the current time, solely because he's got the resources and the connections for it, literally the best part of his channel is being a host for other content creators to be funny and shine.

I still love Quackity tho, he can hit it for free any day of the week, and that's on God

[seyaryminamoto]

Idk if u this is too spoilerly… but what’s Rei’s relationship with Hotaru, Shun, and Yuuna?

... Well.

I kind of answered that question in narrative form already (FF.net/AO3), but if you want me to talk about it directly...

Hotaru is their oldest sister, of course :D

I admit that, back when I started plotting things for the future and I started coming up with ideas for this family, Rei wasn't really in the picture all along because I wasn't even 100% committed to her character and role in the story yet. Hence, there's a lot of art that doesn't feature her with the Sokkla family since I didn't quiiiite know if I would find a role for Rei in the story after I started pondering to make her Zhao's illegitimate daughter. Of course, back then, Azula's Part 3 looked way bleaker than it has been (believe it or not...), precisely due to Rei's absence. I also didn't know for sure that I would find a way bring Song into play either, back then. So, once I finally realized the kind of role Rei could play, Azula's storyline became soooo much clearer and a lot more engaging than the non-stop miserable mess it was shaping up to be without Rei's presence, and Azula's bond with Rei has been one of the greatest highlights of her story so far.

Now then, the question about Rei's role in this family may be tricky to fully explain: Sokka, in particular, will do his best to give Rei space and respect her bond with Azula. He's had nothing to do with this bond and he doesn't want to push his way into Rei's life just because he's Azula's significant other. Once he gets to know Rei, he's going to be very proud of Azula for helping her as much as she did... even so, Sokka would never act entitled to having a parenting role in Rei's life just because Azula does, so their particular bond is one that will take longer to bloom into a full familial one, even if it ultimately will be positive too, but Sokka leaves it up to Rei to decide what kind of role she wants him to play in her life.

But you were asking about the kids rather than Sokka, sooooo...

Hotaru absolutely adores Rei. Rei will have been part of her life all along, looking after her and being a very loving big sister to her. Theirs is definitely a sweet bond, one where Rei is to determined to make sure this child has a safe place with her (tbh Hotaru has a lot of safe places, haha). Their natures are surprisingly similar, so, as much as Sokka and Azula may joke around and say that Hotaru surely takes after Kya since she's the nicest person in either of their families? Deep down I think they all know that Hotaru's nice and easygoing personality has been greatly influenced by Rei. Little Hotaru looks up to her big sister a lot, and she thrives in being with her as often as possible. Basically, they're wholesome beyond belief xD that's the way this relationship works.

Now, then, Shun... I wouldn't say they get along quite as well as Hotaru and Rei do, but Shun also looks up to Rei quite a bit and is often trying to impress her. Shun is a chaotic little one, admittedly, a born leader in many ways, has a certain effortless charisma... but that charm of his kind of doesn't work as well with his family? xD so he's a lot more careless, a sillier kid with his siblings and parents than he is with friends, as you may have noticed, particularly in Underneath Starlit Skies :'D his dynamics with Rei are definitely those of an older sister who can get him in line when he's being too chaotic. He really likes her and wants her approval whenever he's up to something, and he'll definitely beg her to check over his homework to make sure he's getting things right. He has other closer bonds than with Rei, but theirs is a healthy sibling relationship regardless :D

As for Yuuna, these two get along on a very particular level... that is, the scientific level! Yuuna's scientifically-inclined mind particularly vibes well with Rei's, and whatever crazy idea she gets, she knows she can bring it up to Rei whenever she feels the need to and she'll get a very rational answer from someone who will see the potential in Yuuna's ideas. Yuuna is very much comfortable with everyone in the family, which doesn't mean there's no conflict -- she particularly has a fair amount of conflict with Shun after all. But Rei is very talented at getting through to Yuuna and basically speaking her language, to put it in some way. She can give her challenges and ideas that will get Yuuna's wild brain running at full speed. They definitely operate on a similar intellectual level, these two, and that makes their relationship quite positive and unique.

In short, Rei will be the best big sister she can be, a very wholesome, supportive one who never fails to lift the spirits of her littler siblings. She finds them adorable, she cherishes them deeply, and she loves being part of their lives and family. Of course, as there's a big age gap, Rei can get busy and have certain things going on that stop her from being with her family all the time, but her place in the family is 100% cemented, as the story I linked above should give away. Girl is very happy to be the big sister to her three wild little siblings, and they love her very very much <3

[rhymaes]

I’m like. Saying this as a lesbian—sometimes you just have to realize that not every piece of media is going to be made for you.

[miizpah]

daddy | suna rintarou

anon asks : Idk if you are taking requests 🥺! But was thinking of a suna x reader fic where they try for kids. I think daddy suna would be so cute with kids 😭🤚🏼

post timeskip ‼️

tw. breeding kink.

authors note : 🥺 requests are always open 🥺 and not me in the middle of changing up my writing theme and style 😖 this is probably the tamest request i’ve gotten, and i’m actually excited for this. daddy suna? stop b4 i froth into orbital. idk if you’ve wanted this smutty, but i literally can’t just write fluff 😔 pls enjoy!

not me changing up my writing style, i’ve been practicing with actually adding in some details and imagery — can’t believe english was my best subject 🙄

If being honest, you had always loved kids. Their tiny little fists and small pudgy feet, and the way they would run to their loved ones in pure excitement. It always clenched at your heart, making you loose your breath and your head becoming lightheaded. You wanted that, to have your own kids running up to you in excitement, screaming your name and hugging your legs. It was wholesome, beautiful, and you were a sucker for wholesome things.

You’ve thought of bringing it up with Rintarou, your want for children. You had the space, living in a big house with multiple spare rooms and baths, big open space for the living room and an even bigger backyard for the children to play. You had it all mapped out, really, the rooms you would need to baby proof, the room that you would set up as their nursery. Hell, you've already picked out a unisex theme for your baby's room. But, despite all of that, you had no clue what Rintarou would say.

He was in his prime, a pro volleyball player for the Reijins, he spent more time practicing and traveling for games than he did stay at home. And, you were only mildly okay with that fact. You too had a demanding job, and while you didn't travel as much as Rintarou, you still traveled.

Which brought you to your next thought. Both of you were too busy to have children, his job was demanding, your job was demanding, the baby would be more demanding. This was the only clear reason you were holding back on asking Rintarou on how he felt about children. Well, that and you’re kind of scared of what he would say. You knew some men would run at the first sign of responsibility, your dad being one, and you really did not want to put your marriage on the -- 

You shook your head at that dumb thought. He married you, he wouldn’t have married you if he didn’t want the responsibility of possible children in the future. 

Sighing to yourself, you look at the clock in your home office, deciding that starting on dinner now would be much better than later. You submitted your response to your boss via email, powering down your desktop and exiting your office. 

Hmm, what should I cook? You thought absentmindedly. Wait, I should... You smirk.

Only thirty minutes later, dinner was finished and set on the table, and you began to execute your plan.

...

“I’m home,” the tired voice of Rintarou came from the foyer. He stepped out of his training shoes clumsily, slipping into his house slippers before dragging himself inside the house fully. His hand clutched the straps of his gym bag loosely, eyes more hooded than usual.

He searched around for his pretty wife, looking into the living room, only finding your phone and the tv on playing some western movie with a... clown? He searched the kitchen and dining room, finding the dining table set and hot food steaming from dishes. It smelt delicious, and almost restored his energy, almost.

On the way to your room, he dropped his gym bag in the wash room, before dragging himself up the stairs. “Y/N?” He called.

“Rin?” Your voice was muffled, but could easily be detected. “I’m in our room!”

The room door was pushed open, revealing his pretty wife, in the middle of sliding on a black satin night gown. Rintarou paused in the doorway, seemingly seeing his energy levels rise up quickly. You noticed, grinning slyly to yourself before turning around.

“Welcome home, Rin,” you smile coyly. “How was was practice?” The night gown you wore was on the shorter side, allowing your supple thighs to be seen. Underneath the gown, you wore a red lingerie, with thigh straps connecting to the thong. You knew how much he loved seeing you in red.

“It was... It was fine,” Rintarou struggled a bit, eyes never leaving the way your breasts seemed to just sit there. His mouth watered. “What’s all this?”

“Hmm?” You hummed, looking down at your attire. “Oh, this? It’s nothing, really. Get showered, Rin, dinner won’t be hot for long.” With a kiss on his cold cheek, you sashayed away. 

I could bring it up during dinner. You thought with a firm nod.

Rintarou’s eyes were hot on your skin, never once looking down as he ate his food. His hair was damp from his shower, and he had forgo putting on a shirt, which he knew would make you go slightly feral. It wasn’t your fault that you liked to admire your husband’s hard work, via his abs.

“So,” you started, sipping from your glass. “What all did you do at practice today?” You ask, sitting the glass down and finally meeting his narrowed eyes. You could practically see the desire rolling off of him.

“Serving,” he humored you, bringing his chopsticks to his mouth and eating the meat and rice. He chewed exaggeratingly slow, eyes locked onto yours, finally he swallowed. “A bit of blocking, I’m working on a new technique.” 

“Oh? And, will I see this new technique?” You sit your chin on your palm, sitting your chopsticks down and giving him your full attention.

“You will,” he nodded, smirking slightly. “At the game on Sunday.”

“Hey, no fair,” you whined, lips pouting slightly. “I want to be the first of your fans to see the new technique.” You were joking, trying to lighten the suffocating mood.

Rintarou rolled his eyes, waving you off. “Number one fan behavior.” You giggle at that, leaning back in your seat. “And, you? How was your day?”

“I had to finish my project today,” you answer. “Not to be overly cocky, but it was perfect if I do say so myself. Boss will just have to give me that promotion.”

“It was that good?” He finished off the last of his food, nursing his glass of wine.

“It wasn’t just good, baby.” You said, a smirk on your lips and pride in your eyes. You were passionate about your job, and with that promotion, you would become director of your own branch. “It was perfect.”

If you became director, you wouldn’t have to travel anymore, you could even work from home. It was perfect. You had to get that promotion.

Before long, both of you had finished off your drinks, washed and put away the dishes, and found yourself lounging in the living room. It was quiet, the only sound being the tv playing a western reality show, Americans were crazily entertaining.

Rintarou was rubbing slow circles with his thumb on your smooth, hairless leg, which hadn’t been hairless early. His eyes were trained on his phone. This was the perfect opportunity.

“Hey,” you said, quietly but enough to get his attention. He only hummed, eyes not leaving his phone. “What do you think about kids?”

Rintarou looked over to you almost instantly, a look in his eyes that you’ve never seen before. He almost looked feral. “Right now? Is this a new way for asking for sex?”

“What?” A laugh startled out of you. “No! I’m saying I want to have your babies.”

“But that entitles sex? Just say you want sex.”

“Oh my God... I want to have kids, little fucking people running around our house calling us mommy and daddy.”

“...I heard you the first time,” Rintarou looked away. “But we have to have sex for that.”

You take in a deep breath, eyes rolling. “Listen, Rin. I know we have to have sex, but I am asking you do you want kids?” You explain simply.

“With you, I want lots of kids.” He looked back to you, eyes wide and honest.

Your heart clenched, painfully. A breathtaking smile appearing on your lips. “Really?”

“Yes, really. Now come ‘ere, we need to do the sex.”

“Wait,”

“What?”

“What’s the best position to get pregnant in?”

“I-”

“You know what, who gives a fuck? I’ll just plug your hole or something.”

“I’m- What the hell goes through your mind?”

Laid against the cotton sheets, you look downward as Rintarou slides his hands against your thighs, tugging on the thigh straps harshly and causing them to snap back. A soft moan escape your lips, the small twinge of pain being the start of what was next to come.

“So pretty, baby, got all dressed up for me, hm?” His words are hot against your lower stomach, placing a teasing kiss above your pelvis. “Silly little wife, tempting her husband all night.”

You whimper, legs spreading a bit wider as he settled himself between your thighs. His fingers hooking underneath your garter belt, easily unbelting it and throwing it away. His kisses trail down further, pressing a soft kiss against your clothed heat. “You smell so good, angel.”

“I need you, Rin...” You whine, faintly wiggling your hips.

“Patience, silly wife.” His hands grip your thighs, spreading them as he sat on his knees. “You’re soaking through your panties, baby.” A hand comes down, lightly slapping your clothed cunt. You whimper, bringing a hand down and gripping his wrist. “Fuck,” he groaned.

“Please, Rin. Just fuck me already!” You whine loudly, moving your hips against his palm.

“Shit, okay,” he pulled his hand away, using both to pull your panties and thigh straps off. His eyes fluttered once your sopping cunt was revealed, messy and dripping, and just for him.

You can only hum in appreciate at the stretch in your thighs as Rintarou pushed them to your chest, folding you into a mating press. Within seconds, he’s pushing into your cunt, stretching you wide. You could only lay there and take it, your gummy walls tight around his cock.

Head falling back against the pillows, you moan as you feel him still sinking into you. The position was new to both of you, and was hitting spots that you’ve never felt before. Your hands were gripping his biceps tightly, eyes fluttering close and mouth falling open as more moans spilled.

“D-deep,” you muttered breathlessly, opening your eyes and locking eyes with his. “So good, Rin~”

He smirked before leaning down and slotting your mouths together, swallowing each other noises as he finally sheathed deeply inside of you, kissing your cervix softly. Your tongues tangled together, causing your salvias to mix and dribbling between you both.

Steadily, he pulled back, cock dragging against your tight walls. Lips still locked, he pushed back in, swallowing your cries of pleasure. You pulled away then, licking your lips and taking a deep breath.

Head bowed, and eyes locked on your drooling cunt, he started to thrust at a slow pace, seemingly fascinated at seeing his cock sink into you at a new angle. One of your hands came up and tangled into his dark locks, head falling back against the pillows as you slowly fell deeper and deeper into a delirious state.

“Fucking sexy the way your messy cunt take my cock,” he looked up then, your hand falling from his hair. “My messy wife, hm?”

“Rin, faster-” Was all you could say, the slow drag of his cock fucking you into a state of dumbness.

He smirked then, liking the state you were in. His hips pulled back, and with a sharp thrust, he was fully sheathed again.

Breath warm against your cheek, he began to fuck into you like a man possessed, his hands enclosing around your wrists and pressing them against the bed. Your moans mixing with the lewd sounds emitting from your cunt, creating a symphony that only proved to make you both feral.

“Going pump you full, angel, shit.” Rintarou whispered breathlessly against your ear, sending jolts of pleasure down your spine, moans growing louder. “Fill you to the brim with my cum, going to feel it for days.”

“Yes,” you keen, gummy walls fluttering around his cock. “Pump me full, Rin. Want your cum so bad.”

“Shitshitshitshit,” he groaned, leaning back and pulling out. Easily, he turned your body around, dragging you to your hands and knees, and entering your cunt in all the same second.

You didn’t have enough time to register before he’s hammering into you, causing you cry out loudly, hands gripping the sheets tightly. “Fuck, fuck!” His hands bruised against your hips, holding them tightly as he used them as leverage to pistol into you.

“Gonna fuck so many babies into you,” he spat, slapping your ass cheek harshly. “Gonna look so beautiful swole with my child, fuck!”

You whine loudly, pushing your hips back to meet his thrusts. “Please, Rin, I wanna cum!”

He seemed to easily find your spot, the one spot that never fails to have your body shaking, muscles tensing up, and you screaming his name.

“Ah, ah, fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! Rin!” Your fluttering walls tighten around his cock, body tensing as you cum. Your hands gripping the sheets so tightly, head bowed against the bed and back arched down.

“Damn, you’re so sexy, angel.” He groaned, spilling deep within your cunt. Both of you left breathless. “Don’t move, and you better not spill an inch of my cum.” He said, slowly pulling his cock free.

You sat there, catching your breath, and clenching your walls as tight as you could without relaxing. You flinch when you feel a cold metal rub against your sensitive clit. “Relax,” Rin muttered as he pushed the plug against your hole, you did as told, and slowly he pushed the plug inside to the hilt.

“Shower,” you groan, standing with the help of Rintarou.

“Shower sex?”

“Rin, you just plugged me.”

“You have another two holes.”

“I will kill you.”

“So... no head?”

note — not me tryna to reference a vine at the end, lmaooooo. i hope anon liked this, :)!! i’m not the best at breeding kinks. 😔 not edited 😔

[the-bjd-community-confess]

So, fam, you're gonna have to come back and explain this BS because jury's verdict is in: This made no sense fam. Because I feel this is bait, but I also know enough people irl who'd say this kinda dumb shit, so let me make a list, since I like lists.

1) Did you mean androgynous? Because non-binary isn't a body type. Even if the artist used NB instead of androgynous, Non-binary isn't a physical-genetic presentation, it's a neurologically-rooted gender identity. Androgynous is about physical appearance, it's not tied to a specific gender identity, and can cover facial features and/or body type. (Excluding genitalia). Intersex is focused on the internal and external genitalia, and can be masc, femme, and of course andro presenting.

2) Enbys don't owe anyone the use of neutral they/them pronouns. Many enbys still use gendered pronouns, either because it's easier both personally, socially or professionally, or because they use a various pronouns, or because "none of your business" that's why. If the artist actually intended to create an Enby character with their doll, they might have just created an Enby character for their doll, who uses a gendered pronouns.

3) With what right do you try to correct someone about THEIR OWN! creation? " my every gentle correction over many correspondences " What kinda snick snack double fack level of entitlement even is that? Especially to claim the CREATOR of the doll is "aggressively genders their doll". (I am just imagining how the artist is "aggressively gendering" the doll, and all I come up with is them writing the pronoun in full caps lock and at least three exclamation points. SHE!!!" Honestly, these two sentences really made me convinced this is a troll, because the way it's written is like someone tries to show how reasonable heroic saviour they are, while the other person is a mean poopy-head bigoted villain, and we should definitely be rooting for the heroic one.)

4) Maybe the artist was just confused why you'd be constantly contacting them, and keep up prolonged communication, constantly trying to passive aggressively correct them (probably more aggressive than passive, judging by the writing style of OP), then the the doll arrived and could make any character you want with the doll, create the NB character you were constantly pushing at the Artist, you just kinda throw it out because you're being petulant you didn't like how the artist handled their own creation. (Idk, but if someone kept sending me messages about my book, and tried passive aggressively to correct me on my own work, and the moment they received my book in the mail, without even reading, decided to toss it out. Tbh, I'd also be incredibly confused what the fucking point was. Like, don't waste my time, there are people out there who actually respect my time, and the works I create.)

~Anonymous

[castieltrash1]

dangerous territory → clint b.

gif credit (x)

summary → clint stays behind during a mission, leaving you alone with him in the avengers building. seeing him sprawled out on the comfy lounge room couch gives you some naughty ideas -- only adding to the tension your relationship already has.

word count → 6.7k (literally wtf)

warnings → i ignore the entirety of iw/endgame except for clint’s makeover, extreme sexual tension, smut; switch!fem!reader, switch!clint, couch sex, oral (both recieving), fingering, slight overstimulation, dirty talk, praise

a/n → literally idk if i should be ashamed or not but im Horny 4 Hawkeye!!! oopsie !! also there are like .3 smut fics for him on here and im determined to fix that

---

Quiet was not a word you’d use to describe the Avengers Facility.

In fact, with Steve’s loud orders, Bruce’s lab explosions, and Sam’s boisterous laughter -- not to mention the never-ending petty arguments that managed to revert the Avengers to 11th graders in their first debate club -- it was the farthest thing from quiet.

But, now, with zero disagreements and zero distractions, you’d been able to enjoy the building all to yourself. Almost. Of course, the one time you got to avoid a mission, you ended up falling into an even worse situation.

You’d covered for Wanda last mission, and she’d insisted on paying you back for the newest one. It wasn’t high stakes by any means, but the work itself had countless components and everyone who was nearby -- or at least on the planet -- had been called in to fill some role.  

Everyone, of course, except you. And Clint.

Suddenly the idea of being stuck in the Quinjet with everyone’s post-mission moodiness sounded very appealing. You could feel a headache growing as you wandered around the kitchen, doing anything and everything in your power to avoid him. He was not supposed to be here. Hell, he didn’t even like stepping foot in the place unless the world was in immediate danger.

Of course, you weren’t the only one to notice his odd attitude. Natasha gave him a confused look when he mentioned staying behind, but decidedly hadn’t commented, almost like she’d already pieced together the reason for Clint’s actions. Knowing her, she probably had. But, even Wanda shot a glance that worried you -- though you seemed to be the only one to catch her squinted green gaze before it disappeared. You weren’t sure you wanted to know what she saw in his mind.

Sure, you had a couple of ideas as to why he would choose to isolate himself with you, but you tried to not let those thoughts consume you. The others wouldn’t be back till midday tomorrow -- if all went well -- and you were not about to spend the next 36 hours soaking your panties with stupid fantasies.

Unfortunately, even when ignoring Clint, your mind was still focused on him. When you passed by the gym or shooting range, antsy to get your daily work in, one quick thought of seeing Clint’s arms -- tensed as he loaded his bow, muscles straining and eyes focused on his target -- was enough to have you quickly walking in the opposite direction.

But, now, as you make your way into the lounge to relax, you can’t find it in yourself to care. You have just as much of a right as Clint does to walk around whenever and wherever you please. In all honesty, you feel even more entitled considering you’re the one actually living in the tower (at least most of the time.)

He’s exactly where you expect him to be -- he may be fast and quiet on his feet, but you’ve been keeping tabs on him, for your own sake.

It’s a bit odd seeing a book instead of a bow in his hands, but you’re not entirely sure you should be focused on how his fingers wrap around the thin pages, thumbing the corners so gently--

“Done avoiding me, are you?”

Well, shit.

His gaze remains on his book -- though the very few pages he’s turned assures you he’s not paying attention to whatever riveting story Tony has stocked his shelves with.

“What are you talking about?” you ask. There’s a moment of temptation to take a seat next to him on the couch, as close as possible. To feel his strong arms around you, smell the raw masculine cologne he always wears a bit too much of -- heavy on his neck and sharp jaw that you know your lips could curl around so perfectly if given the chance.

You swallow heavily and take a seat in the chair across from him, sinking into the expensive fabric.

“Tony picks good furniture, right?” Clint sighs, book closing without so much as a dog-ear mark as he leans back.

It’s silent for a second, and you’re entirely sure you’ve missed a part of the conversation during your mini black-out, but Clint doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest, waiting patiently for your answer. You consider it a small win and accept the change in topic with an awkward laugh.

“Yeah. Didn’t think price made such a big difference.” There’s a firmness to the chair that keeps you from sinking, and mentally, you consider if it’d be strong enough for other activities. “How much you wanna bet he spent on each of these chairs?” you question, genuinely curious. “I gotta guess at least two grand.”

Clint’s cool eyes glint playfully. “Three,” he challenges with a smirk that sends a shiver down your spine. “Though, you should really try this couch. Definitely my favorite thing here.”

There’s just a hint of suggestion in his tone -- the kind that you’d miss if you weren’t trained in reading people. It’s not unexpected, though. You’d have to be a fool to not recognize the exact same longing stares, the same lingering touches that Clint offers you. But, that’s what makes it all more intimidating. It’s an unspoken thing, and at this point, that’s what feels most convenient -- even if your lonely nights spent moaning his name are growing far too common for comfort.

Still, you can’t exactly ignore him, and his eyes follow you closely as you make your way to the couch, falling into the comfy cushions with a huff.

“Wow.” You laugh. “No wonder you’ve been spending so much time down here.”

Clint raises an eyebrow. “So you have been paying me some attention. Interesting.”

If he notices you shift as far to the other end of the couch as possible, he doesn’t mention it.

“Don’t take it personally, Barton,” you huff. “I’m used to keeping an eye on everyone around here.” It’s not entirely a lie, but he manages to see right through the half-truth regardless.

“So you avoid everyone, then?” There’s no hurt or misunderstanding in his voice, not even confusion. He knows what you’re doing, knows why you can’t bear to look him in the eyes for more than a few seconds.

“Still don’t know what you’re talking about,” you deflect, closing your eyes and letting your head fall back onto the couch.

He just chuckles, a low sound that makes your stomach clench unconsciously. You expect him to keep pressing you, work you up until you spill your guts, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t even say a word as you hear the rustling of paper and feel the couch move slightly as he shifts.

You turn your head towards him and open one eye, then both as they go wide. Clint has taken on a whole new level of comfortable, feet perched on the coffee table and one arm resting on the back of the couch while his free hand flips through the same first few pages as before.

In all honesty, you suddenly find yourself happy that Steve and Tony are gone -- otherwise they’d be scolding Clint for his manners, and most definitely not ogling his firm legs in those tight, black jeans.

You drag your gaze back up his body, stopping near the hem of his shirt, where his new position has allowed for the fabric to ride up his stomach. It’s just a sliver of skin but the image is enough to make your heart race. There’s a faint dip in the muscled hip line leading to his jeans, and if you stare extra hard, you can see the light trail of thin hairs disappearing under the fabric.

Swallowing heavily, you quickly look back at Clint’s face, holding back a gasp as he stares back at you.

“So,” you fill the silence before he can, mentally thanking Natasha for her training on keeping your composure. “How’s that book of yours?”

Clint just grins for a second -- you both know he’s caught you. “It’s alright. Not the most interesting thing in the building right now, though.”

You gulp. “Yeah… The place is big. Lots to explore. I don’t think I’ve even seen every room--”

“I have a feeling you know that’s not what I mean,” Clint cuts you off with a chuckle, and you send him a challenging glare.

“I don’t know what you mean,” you scoff.

He hums, before his tongue peeks out to swipe across his bottom lip. “You’re sounding awfully like a broken record today.” His icy, pale eyes return to his book, and you watch as he lifts his thumb to his wet lips, tongue darting out the lick the tip. You can practically feel the action, and almost whine in disappointment when his hand returns to flip the page.

Clint is downright grinning at this point, and you know he’s taking in every breath, shift, and blink of yours. “But, I know you’re not actually confused,” he continues. “In fact, I’d argue you like this game of ours a bit more than you should.”

You know if you brush it off again, he’ll drop it. He’s too nice to make you uncomfortable, and his statement hangs in the air with a heavy weight.

“You know, Barton?” you shift from your spot on the couch, eliminating a good chunk of the space between you and him. “I think you’re smarter than most people give you credit for.” He raises a brow, and you would believe his undisturbed look if you didn’t see his fingers twitch against the spine of the forgotten book.

“Tell Nat that,” he jokes, and you grin. Seeing that little crack in his facade, the way he fills the conversation with a joke, the discreet but heavy swallow he tries to hide -- it’s all enough to power you to move closer, until there are mere centimeters between you two.

“Hmmm, I don’t think I’ll be telling Natasha anything from this conversation of ours.” Keeping your attention on the slight tense of his jaw, you push the book from his hands, and he immediately drops his feet from the table to discard it in their place.

You pause for a second, glancing at Clint’s lap then back at him, and he doesn’t hesitate to reach out and grab your hip.

“Get over here already,” he groans, both arms wrapping around your waist to situate you in his lap. His hands are warm and firm and everything you could have ever imagined, and you automatically roll your hips down onto him. There’s a pleased moan from you both, and his own hips jolt in a way that sends you even closer to him, until your chests are touching.

He immediately dives for your neck, scruff tickling the sensitive skin as he breathes you in deeply. “I gotta admit,” he murmurs, letting his lips graze the bottom of your jaw in the most sinful way, “you look so much better sitting here than standing around in the kitchen.”

You drag your fingers through the long hair on the back of his head, tugging it playfully. “You’ve been watching me, Barton?”

He hums, squeezing you just as teasingly. “I do a lot of staring when it comes to you, babe.”

You pull him from your neck by his hair, and he looks up at you with the most mischievous glint in his eyes. The nickname makes you undeniably flustered, but you force the embarrassment away.

“I don’t know about you, but I think that’s what you call creepy,” you mumble, leaning down so Clint can feel your words against his own lips. He immediately darts forward, but you pull back with a sly grin, watching his eyes darken at the action.

“I think,” he growls, catching you off guard as he pushes you back onto the couch, making you jostle as you try not to fall off the edge. He steadies you with a large hand, and you only jolt again when he uses his free hand to spread your legs, caging you in as his hips drop between your parted thighs. “You’d be a hypocrite for saying that.” He drops back to your neck, and you can feel his smile before his teeth sink into your skin lightly -- just enough to make you gasp.

He continues to litter your neck with kisses, and you watch in awe as his toned arm tenses by the side of your head -- the thick black lines of ink rolling as his muscles flex.

“And what are you gonna do about it?” you taunt, back arching as his tongue darts out to lick a stripe up to right below your chin. “You gonna fuck me?”

Clint bites the edge of your jaw in retaliation to your words, before he pulls back just enough to stare at you with a lustful gaze.

“Not yet, baby. Not that easily.” One of his hands trails up the front of your thigh, before it busies itself with the hem of your shirt. You try to hide your disappointment, but Clint notices it, of course, and just shakes his head. “Don’t worry, I don’t plan on letting you leave this couch anytime soon. You’ve made me wait long enough for this… I’m gonna take my time with you.”

He finally presses his lips to yours, and you hungrily reach and tug until he’s as close as possible -- until you can feel the denim of his jeans scraping deliciously against your thighs as you tug his bottom lip between your teeth. It’s messy and entirely uncalculated, and your nails catch in the wrinkles of the back of his shirt while his own fingers tug impatiently at the bottom of yours.

You part from him for a second, and his own greedy mouth follows yours, only managing to press against the side of your lips. “You act like you’ve made this easy for me,” you retort, and his chest rumbles against yours as he chuckles.

“Oh honey, I think I’ve made it quite obvious I’ve wanted to fuck you since the day you walked in here.”

“Clearly, not obvious enough.”

Clint huffs, warm breath hitting your cheek. “What’d you want me to do? Huh?” He shifts so his words make their way directly to your ear, each syllable accentuated with a puff of hot air. With him this close, neck just below your nose, you can take in the heavy smell of that sharp cologne you love so much.

His calloused fingers dip beneath your shirt, but instead of the obvious trail up, his hand trails down to play with the hem of your shorts. “Tug these little things off in front of everyone? Show them all how worked up you get me wearing these? Is that what you want?”

Your hips lift in a silent plea, and you groan. “They’re comfortable.”

“Maybe for you, but I find myself very uncomfortable when you wear them.” He snickers, and if you weren’t so turned on, you’re sure you’d roll your eyes. Only Clint Barton could make a joke about untimely hard-ons during a time like this.

“Then why don’t you take them off?” you groan, and he shakes his head while muttering something about you being bossy.

Still, his words betray him as he tugs the fabric down your legs, as slowly as possible while his eyes drink in the new area of exposed skin. “What part about taking my time with you did you not understand?” The corner of his lips tug in that mischievous way of his, and you have a sneaking feeling his patience is as fleeting as your own.

Proving your point, Clint tosses your shorts over the back of the couch with a grin, then pushes you further up the cushions. You’re almost sitting, shoulder blades knocking the arm of the sofa while your legs bend at the knee to accompany Clint, who scoots back. It’s the perfect and most disastrous angle to be at as you have to both feel and watch his deft fingers trail up from your knee.

You’re a hundred percent sure the effects of your arousal are extremely obvious, but he doesn’t comment on the wet patch of your panties -- though you see his eyes focus on the area between your legs for a second too long before his gaze flickers back to your thighs.

His calloused fingers trail the edge of fabric around your legs, rough skin providing a type of friction you can’t begin to explain. His touch is fleeting and he changes the amount of pressure with every swipe of his thumb, always pushing just enough to let you know he’s holding you down. That you can’t escape him -- as if you’d even think of trying to do so.

“Your legs are so sexy, you know that?”

You let out some type of pleased whine, a sound that Clint relishes as he tightens his grip on your thighs. “Make the prettiest sounds, too,” he continues, and then his fingers are right there. One hand holds your left leg down, while the other covers your panty-covered core. His thumb rubs into your desperate, throbbing clit, and you use your little amount of freedom to push your hips up, wanting, needing more.

Clint immediately presses you back down, and you watch his tattoos shift just slightly as he adds more weight to his hand on your thigh.

“Please, please.” You revert to begging at your lack of movement, losing all shame in regard to your desire. It’s obvious you need Clint -- any excuses or lies from before long forgotten. You need his movements to speed up, the slow circles of his thumb providing barely enough friction.

He just chuckles, but relents a little and you downright purr as the thin fabric of your underwear drags against your tingling nerve endings. It’s impossible to move under Clint’s weight, but all the muscles in your lower half flex and twitch as they desperately search for release and relief.

“How about…” Clint trails off, fingers moving upward to grab the waistline of your panties, “we get these off?”

You’re sure if you nod any faster you might make yourself dizzy, and Clint just smirks in that knowing way. That way that lets you know he has you right where he wants you. Right where he’s been waiting to have you.

The article of clothing is soon flung behind his shoulder just like your forgotten shorts -- and you can only faintly remind yourself to make sure you grab everything before the others return. Though, at this point, you think anyone could walk in on Clint between your legs and you’d still be begging him to make you cum -- audience or not.

“Fucking Christ,” Clint groans, palms sliding between your thighs to spread them, giving him a full view of your glistening core. “I swear, you’re gonna kill me.” Seeing his flushed cheeks, mussed hair, and greedy fingers, you’re not sure you can reject that statement.

He removes his hands for just a second, but you don’t dare close your legs, and he has the audacity to wink. Before your mind can even process the action, though, he’s pulling his shirt off, arms crossing over his chest as they show off in their full glory. Hips, stomach, chest, arms -- they’re all exposed so quickly and your eyes drink in the features as fast as they can. Clint throws the shirt to the side -- you have a feeling he’s utilizing his perfect aim to create a clothing pile -- but you just stare at his shoulder, where the ink spreads to areas you’ve never had the chance to see before. The olive green accents contrast against his tanned skin, which has gained a light sheen from the sweat of his arousal.

As he leans back down, Ronin’s portrait stares you dead in the eyes -- quite literally. If you didn’t know the deeper meaning, you’re sure you could mistake the skull as a danger warning to the man pressing a kiss against the inside of your knee.

Short hairs chafe your legs as Clint makes himself comfortable, pressing his jaw against you. When his hot breath dances over your center you almost squeeze your thighs together, but he’s there to push them apart with a chuckle.

“No, no…” He pulls away barely, and you take in a deep breath to calm yourself. “You’re gonna give me what I want, ok?” His fingers are gentle, and so are his eyes when he glances up to you. He’s hopeful, pleading almost, but stays respectful. “If that’s ok, of course.”

You almost want to cry, because how could he think any differently, but you just nod. “Please Clint, touch me.”

He sends you a lopsided grin, and then he’s right there, pressing a kiss against your clit. The feeling is completely different from before, lips slick and soft unlike his rough thumb. All the air in your lungs leaves your body as you let out a sigh of relief, body finally relaxing as it gets the touch it needs.

You reach down and your nails scratch his scalp lightly before you grip his hair in a tight hold. He nuzzles against your hand and groans against you, and the feeling of control makes your blood run hot through your veins. One of the most powerful men on Earth is between your legs, sucking softly on your clit like it's the only thing he could ever want.

He traces circles on your thighs with his coarse fingers as he warms you up with gentle licks and the occasional curl of his lips around your most sensitive area. You let him have the satisfaction of your spread thighs, but you periodically tug on his tousled locks to remind him that he’s the one between your legs. It’s the perfect balance of dominance -- the type that makes your head spin and your eyes roll back into your head.

Clint presses another kiss to your clit before traveling lower and the intimacy of the action makes your skin flush. You can tell he’s not going to be holding back for much longer though, if the desperation of his descent is any indication. His fingers join his attack as he spreads your folds, tongue dragging the entirety of your core.

“So good, baby. So fucking good,” he mutters, mouth impatient as he covers as much skin as he can at once. It’s fast and downright dirty as he presses his tongue into you, eliciting a groan from your parted, panting lips. You’re dripping at this point, and he laps up the mix of saliva and arousal with a yearning thirst.

It’s all so overwhelming. His fingers are digging into your skin -- likely to leave faint marks -- and the scruff framing his jaw scrapes and leaves your skin burning, while the softer locks between your fingers are a comfort to steady you.

The heat building in your body is entirely unbelievable, and your back digs into the couch as you arch into Clint, desperate for all he’ll be willing to give you. You press him closer, and he moans at the power in your hands -- the control you have despite him hovering over you. It’s a mental trip for you both, your stomach and pelvic muscles clenching as they react to his generous, eager giving.

“God, Clint, gonna cum.” The words barely feel like they’re coming from your own body, jaw slack as you tremble in his hold. His index finger presses into you slowly, while his thumb replaces his tongue on your clit. The change of stimulation has you reeling, your grip on Clint loosening as you feel his warm words against you.

“Kinda the point, sweetheart.” Your eyes are squeezed shut, but you know Clint is smirking -- you can practically hear it in his voice.

His finger curls to press against your front wall, and he rubs it gently once, twice, before he lets the digit drag out, sinking in again even slower. The leisurely thrusts continue as his tongue returns to circle your clit, his cocky words from before silenced as he puts his mouth to work. Your breath grows heavier, heart rate increasing with every second. His middle finger joins the first with a steady push, and you clench desperately as they curl and press and rub and reduce you to nothing but putty.

You’re right there and Clint knows it -- somehow he knows it. His fingers move faster, harder, and his lips wrap around your clit with even greater determination. There’s a shift, fingertips grazing the perfect spot as he sucks desperately and it’s over. You’re crying out his name, thighs shaking and you clench and flutter around his never-ceasing fingers. There’s a moment where all senses leave you and all you can feel is Clint, and the spread of warmth between your legs. Your ears ring and your own moans become faint background sounds.

And then, you’re pulling his head back, his tongue still trying to work your sensitive clit. He fights your tug on his hair but you must be begging because he finally relents with a huff. You can hear his breathing, and you feel his shift as he leans back over you, fingers still working you through your high.

“Look at me,” he demands, and his free hand drags down your cheek. “C’mon, open your eyes.” He forcefully grabs your chin, and your eyes open too quickly for your mind to process. It’s all so bright and you have to blink away the splotches of color coating your vision. Clint takes up the entirety of your view, lips wet and eyes dark. “There you go, baby.” He’s grinning and panting and his fingers are still fucking moving.

You whimper and glance down -- as much as his grip on your jaw will allow -- and the view of his tattooed arm between your thighs, veins pulsing as he fingers you is imprinted in your mind permanently. It’s a never-ending high that goes on for a second too long before Clint finally, finally eases his fingers from you. They’re practically dripping with your release, and he wastes no time bringing them to his glossy mouth.

It’s hypnotic to watch as his lips close around his fingers, nostrils flaring as he sucks them eagerly. They come out clean, and his chest rumbles with a groan. “Can’t get enough of your taste. Fuck.”

It takes a second for you to catch your breath, chest heaving and shirt clinging to sweaty skin. But, there’s finally a moment where your legs feel somewhat solid, and you take advantage of the opportunity, bending your leg to put the bottom of your foot on Clint’s bare chest.

He shoots you a confused but intrigued look, and you respond with a lopsided grin as you push him backward, until he’s the one stumbling to find a spot against the arm of the couch. Faintly, you consider the move would be much sexier with a pair of heels digging into his skin, but this will have to suffice for now. Maybe next time -- if there is a next time, of course.

“Now, what are you up to, baby girl?” Clint is practically vibrating with excitement as you gather the strength to push yourself off the couch, ignoring the slight twitch of your exerted thighs.

“Take your pants off,” you say, with little shame. “Now.”

You’re not sure you’ve ever seen someone get undressed so quickly and the hastiness of Clint’s actions leave him with very little coordination. It takes him three tries to get his belt undone, and he pokes himself with the metal prong when his eyes return to glance at you.

Raising a brow, you put your hands on your hips, and he speeds up. The button and zipper take him twice as long, but the sound when he finally tosses his belt and jeans off to the side is well worth the wait.

He licks his lips, looking up at you -- waiting, watching. Your earlier thoughts regarding his legs are heightened tenfold as you take in his toned thighs and hard cock in-between. He’s thick, the bulge pressing against his boxer-briefs making your heart skip a beat. The mere idea of him stretching you open has you growing too impatient for what you have planned.

“Keep going.” You swallow and hope your voice doesn’t sound too shaky.

Clint’s quick fingers make work of the fabric, and you focus on finishing yourself off. You pull your shirt off and let it drop to your feet before your hands move to unhook your bra. You’re barely sliding the straps down your arms when you hear Clint huff, and you look back to him.

“I wanted to do that,” he almost whines, chest puffing.

You roll your eyes but laugh, and toss your bra to him. He catches it with a wink, before throwing it behind him. Immediately, his gaze drags over your chest, excruciatingly slow. You know he’s taking in every inch, every natural mark that decorates your torso. Normally, you’d feel odd being examined so closely while still being at a decent distance -- but Clint is observant and his eyes are hungry.

Finally, his dark eyes reconnect with yours. “You gonna come sit or should I just grab you?” His tone is playful and daring, but you hear the hint of arousal that suggests he wouldn’t be opposed to tugging you into his arms. You don’t have time for games anymore, though, so you stand between Clint’s legs, and he pats his thigh playfully.

“Hmm…” You bite your lip and shake your head, eyes glistening with mischief. “Not yet…”

You make your descent to your knees perfectly paced, fluttering your lashes as you look up to Clint from between his thighs. He cusses and his arms fall limply to his side as he resigns himself to the torture he knows you’ll be sure to deliver.

“I thought you wanted to take your time,” you tease, fingers sliding up his thigh. Your nails against his skin have him tensing, muscles quivering.

He groans, and tosses his head back. “That was before I made you cum. Just wanna fuck you now -- make you shake again.”

You pinch him. “Sweet-talking will get you nowhere, Barton. You should know that.” But, you still let your palm graze over his hard cock, twitching at your touch. He’s firm and warm, and when your fingers wrap around his length, you realize how deliciously thick he is, filling your grasp fully. The length is there too, just enough to not be intimidating, but the girth has your core throbbing.

“Fuck, Clint,” you groan, giving a slow jerk of your wrist. “You’ve been holding out on me.”

He’s pulsing in your hand, skin flushed and precum beginning to drip from the head of his cock. It coats your hand on the second stroke, easing the drag. Soon enough, he’s practically glistening, and your mouth waters. You have to taste him.

He calls your name, voice trembling, as your tongue darts out to flatten against his tip. “Oh God, please.” He’s flushed, from his cheeks to his tensing thighs, and you’d grin if you weren’t taking him deeper into your mouth. Another part of the burning, fervid desire deep in your veins lights up as your lips wrap around him -- tongue greedy for more as it laps everything it can reach. A growl reverberates through his entire body, and the sound makes your thighs clench.

You spare him a glance, and he looks destroyed. Sweat gathers on his forehead and the veins in his arm pulse as he grips the cushions to stay steady. Sane. Calm.

His knuckles are white and you relieve them by grabbing his left hand in your own, thumb rubbing over the back of his palm. He’s squeezing you like you’re his lifeline, and you reward him with your free hand around his base.

“Fuck fuck, I’ll cum too fast with you doing that,” Clint grunts, and you watch his chest heave as he tries to steady his breathing.

You pull off him with a line of spit, breaking it with your hand as you use the saliva to glide your fingers. He’s still throbbing, and you trace his underside vein with your wet thumb. “I thought that was the point, right?” You repeat his words from earlier with a grin, pressing a kiss against his thigh as your hand speeds up. He’s so close and he needs it so badly, but he finally pulls his hand from yours to grab your moving wrist.

“Not until I fuck you.” He pants, and begrudgingly removes your hold from his cock. “And a couple times, at the very least.”

Your heart races at the mere thought of as many rounds as you can handle, with Clint making you cum again and again. Still, you stand slowly, silently hoping he’ll push you back to your knees and cum down your throat.

But he doesn’t. He watches closely as you straighten out, and you quickly move to straddle him. “Fine, but you’ll let me ride you, understood?” Your thighs brush over him with the lightest touch, and with just one solid movement, you could have him sinking into you. But, you wait. You watch as he swallows heavily, eyes hooded.

Clint gives you a lopsided smile. “No complaints here, babe.” And with that, you reach down to hold his length, pressing the tip against your clenching, wet, core. He gasps, but you shift just slightly, until he bumps your clit. It’s too much and too little all at once, and you let out a soft cry as he jerks upward, precum coating the swollen nub. You reward yourself with one more drag down from your clit before letting the head of his cock push into you.

You’re immediately clenching around his length, and Clint’s calloused fingertips dig into your hips as he helps steady you. It only takes a couple breaths and a slow spread of your thighs to take him fully, arousal coating his cock quickly. He barely holds himself back from rutting into you right away, but you rock your hips and grip his shoulders regardless.

“Fuck,” he half-groans, half-whimpers. “You’re so fucking wet.”

Your nails dig into his skin as you roll again, letting out an incoherent babble of his name as your clit gains friction from his own warm body. You can feel your own wetness dripping down your thigh onto his, and it has you shuddering. It’s so dirty and your fingers move to Clint’s hair, desperately clinging at the long strands. His forehead presses to yours, and he smells like the most dangerous concoction of sweat, cologne, and mint toothpaste you’ve ever had the honor of inhaling.

You join in an almost-kiss that’s all teeth, but he brushes his tongue against your cupid’s bow in a much gentler way, and you know he can feel the shiver that runs down your spine in reaction. He squeezes your hip gently in reassurance, and then his grip on you tightens. It doesn’t hurt, but you can feel the years of arm workouts, and you know there’s no way to escape -- as if you’d ever want to.

Clint’s knee jerks and then he’s thrusting up into you with such force it leaves you breathless. He holds you down and all you can do is gasp and hold him tighter as he pushes into you harder and faster. Every shift provides a new angle and friction as his tip stimulates your sensitive walls.

Your thighs shake desperately and you can hear the wet slap each of his movements provide as you coat his cock in warm slick. He grins at the sight, one hand drifting from your hip until it reaches your throbbing clit.

“Look at you,” he coos and punctuates the words with a rough circle of his thumb.

Your chest heaves as you gasp, but the lack of Clint’s hold gives you a second to grind against him. He grunts as you do, and you chuckle breathlessly against his parted lips.

“And look at you.”

He retorts by way of another rub against your clit, and your laughter quickly turns to a drawn-out moan.

“You look so pretty when you’re about to cum.” He pants between every word, but he’s determined to deliver the compliment that makes your face too warm. You’re not sure how he knows you’re so close -- it must be way more embarrassingly obvious than you thought -- but you can’t find it in yourself to care. Not when he’s letting his cock drag inside you slowly, with a hard thrust every few seconds. Not when the pressure on your clit is changing so rapidly you can’t breathe.

When you do cum, with a broken cry and shaking torso, Clint doesn’t let up. He goes faster, harder. It’s a never-ending high that turns your brain to mush, and your body into even less. Your thighs burn and your toes curl but all you can feel is the delicious length buried deep inside you.

It’s only during the beginning of the cool down that you tug a little harder on Clint’s hair, and roll your hips a little more. “C’mon, Clint, please. Please fill me up.” His chest rumbles against yours with a throaty growl, and you continue to ride out your orgasm as he fucks into you with a few more desperate, shaky thrusts.

He cums in you thick and warm, with a groan of your name. It tumbles from his lips sinfully, and you commit the sound to memory. The rasp of his tone and the sight of his wet, swollen lips.

It’s not until he eases out of you slowly, and you feel the drip down your thigh that you’re grounded and reminded of exactly where you are. On a multi-thousand dollar couch. Owned by Tony Stark.

“Oh my god, Clint.”

His eyes are closed and you’re sure he’s about three seconds from sleeping for eighteen hours, but he manages a tired smirk. “I know. That was good.”

“No! I mean yes. But that’s not what I’m talking about.”

He half-opens one eye. “What?”

“I think we stained the couch.” A quick glance between Clint’s thighs all but confirms it, and you’re not sure whether to be proud or embarrassed by the very large wet spot staining the blended fabric.

“I can’t believe that’s what you’re thinking about right now. After everything that just happened.”

You playfully slap his shoulder as you roll onto the cushion next to him with a huff. He nudges you back with his arm before clearing his throat, and letting out a butchered impression of your voice. “Oh Clint! Your dick was just so amazing!-”

“Oh my god!” You cover your face but nothing stops the laughter that rumbles through your chest -- even if he’s got your tone completely wrong. He just chuckles and wraps his arm around you, pulling you into his side with a sigh.

“How much do you think we’ll owe Tony by the end of the day?” He looks down at you with a playful glint in his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

He rolls his eyes, but presses a chaste kiss to your hair. “C’mon, you don’t think I haven’t planned out every surface we still need to fuck on before they get back?”

“Clint!”

“See, you keep screaming my name but for all the wrong reasons.” Now you can feel his grin against the top of your head, and it comes into view as he stands with you still in his grasp. You’re not sure how he maneuvers it, but he’s got you in his arms before you can even blink, and the look he sends you tells you not to complain or even question it. He’s not even out of breath -- all things considered -- and when you glance in the direction he’s heading, your eyes widen.

“You have got to be joking…” You squirm in his arms as he sets you down on the table used for almost every meeting, and the mere thought of defiling it forever makes you squeeze your legs together shyly.

But, Clint is quick to spread them, all with a cocky grin and a far too confident tone.

“I don’t know about you…” He begins, as his fingers trail up your thigh. “But I think we could reach ten thousand by midnight.”

If you distantly hear FRIDAY warn adamantly against it -- neither of you mention it.

“Better get started then, Barton.”

---

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Given that fandom has decided to be aggressively negative this season, I figured I’d carve out a little corner of positivity for myself, so. Here we are. Stuff I liked about Supergirl ep. 6x02 “A Few Good Women”

Spoilers!

I’m not really a fan of vampires but you know what I am a fan of? Deep comics cuts! The planet of Transilvane and its vampiric inhabitants were introduced in Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen #142-143, written by Jack Kirby!

I like the effect they’re using on Kara’s eyes in the Phantom Zone. It’s both creepy and cool.

Personally, I thought the way they set up the courtroom was a really nice work-around for Covid restrictions. 

As always, I am forced to admit that I enjoy seeing Lex and Lillian snark and yell at each other.

But also yes. I am...ready to be done with the Luthors.

All three of them honestly.

And then we got PAPA ZOR-EL.

He is a space dad, but not a Space Dad. 

In addition to Nu!Zor (Now with more facial hair!) we got a little bit of...I think it’s “You Will Do Extraordinary Things” and of course, everyone’s fav, “Harnessing Anger”. Love that good score.

(I’ll get to Kara in a sec, I wanna have space to ramble.)

Mmmm, some other good stuff...

Oh, of course. ACTUAL SPACE DAD!

AND M’GANN!

I love that M’gann has stuck around at the outset of this season. IDK if she’s set to appear beyond this initial stretch, but man, I wish she would.

Like yes, it’s a whole other character they have to serve in an already large ensemble cast, but she brings such a nice energy to the group, and plays well off of J’onn. 

I diiiiiiig it. 

Also, she knows the Super Friends well, in that she correctly assessed that they needed pizza after their defeat.

BUT BRAINY JUST RUINED THAT PIZZA BY HOISTING THE BOX VERTICALLY BOY WHAT ARE YOU DOING????

And J’onn. DEAR J’ONN. CELESTIAL FATHER. DEEPLY CONCERNED FOR THE SAFETY OF HIS KIDDO.

*through the tears* We love to see it. 

Okay, backtracking a little...

It’s not intentional, but I kinda chuckled, because after everyone being like, ‘The Phantom Zone is hell!!!’ all throughout the episode, it was funny that Nia dreamt of a giant ‘Midvale High School’ sign while trying to find Kara in the simulation. Like, yes, actually, High School is Hell.

Again, not what they were going for, but. Still. Funny.

Oh! Also! Brainy’s pep talk with Nia was very nice! 

“She’s more than just Supergirl. She’s Kara. She’s our beacon through the darkness.”

*with quiet reverence* Yeah.

Also loved the reminder that the Legion is inspired not by Superboy, but by Supergirl in this universe. 

We didn’t have a ton of Will content but I like what we got! 

Okay, time to talk about Kara.

OUR POOR KID.

But also yes, yes, what a beautiful statement on Kara as a character, and what motivates her. What pushes her forward.

Kara fights. Kara is not content to sit around and...how does she phrase it. ‘Exist for the sake of it.’ She does not allow the difficulties she’s faced in life to stop her. 

The fandom always wants her to dwell on her anger and sadness but that’s just not WHO SHE IS as a character. She told J’onn, waaaaaaay back in season one, AND I QUOTE:

“I lost everything. It makes a hole in your heart, but you can’t fall into it. You have to fill it. You have to fight.”

So I’m sorry, fandom, but your cries of OOC and whatnot are just. Incorrect.

And then there’s the Phantom showdown which is fine (we get a nice pep talk from Alex) and SPEAKING OF, towards the end of the episode, we get...

ALEX’S FEEEEEEEELINGS

She’s feeling them and they hurt.

Like. A lot.

Also, saddest pile of potstickers.

(Thinking about Alex chucking the takeout container reminded me of the previous scene where Brainy also physically reacts and delivers the excellent line: These 21st century keyboards SUCK!)

(Yeah man, get a mechanical keyboard with cherry MX switches, none of that low profile membrane nonsense.)   

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode. It had more of that, ‘fresh’, new season feeling, and still maintained the Good Character Content. I’m wondering if maybe budget constraints due to Covid stuff will make for less action set pieces and more character stuff overall? That would be kind of nice! I guess we’ll see, going forward.

Just a few negatives, IMO: the dialogue kinda felt hit-or-miss. Like, there were some really wonderful, solid bits, but then you’d get some weird stuff that didn’t quite land right. Like, I watched this episode twice just to be sure I was catching everything/not missing something because I was tired and...IDK there was just some clunky stuff.

And I will admit that I agree with fandom on one thing: I did kinda want to see Alex tell Kelly. 

But, okay, having said that, I do not think it ruins the show, or that it’s disrespectful, or whatever other complaints fandom is inventing and screaming at the people running the social media accounts.

(The level of entitlement whilst we’re still in the MIDST OF A PANDEMIC is gross.) 

(Also their solution of, ‘just take time from this one character and give it to my fav!’ is obnoxious.) 

To loop it around back to something nice! I hope they continue to develop something with Kara and William. Even if it’s just as friends. (Which would be a cowardly cop-out! But I refuse to get my hopes up, given what happened with James.)

EITHER WAY, it would be really lovely to have a nice, chill situation where Kara could reveal her identity to someone because she wants to tell them.

SO ANYWAYS

Yeah! Good ep! I liked it! 

Do we think Sad Dad is the Real Deal? OR a nefarious Phantom fabricating a friendly, familiar, familial face? I guess we’ll see!

Next week: GET IN LOSERS, WE’RE GOING PHANTOM HUNTING. 

[bitchesgetriches]

Noble citizens of the aspirationally decadent Conglomerated Nation of Bitches Get Riches: let’s have a lil’ chat, shall we? It’s been a while since we chatted about our favorite topic: ourselves!

We hope you’ve enjoyed season two of the Bitches Get Riches podcast. Recording it was a bright spot for us during this dumpster fire of a year, so thank you all for listening.

As we wrap up another season, we had a few notes to share with you. Including some more personal reflections about how we’re doing, where we’re at, and what the future holds.

Let’s get into it!

Merch is back online

If you visited our Etsy shop in the last few months, you might’ve noticed the physical merch—tee shirts and coffee mugs and tote bags and such—wasn’t listed anymore. Basically, when lockdowns started, it caused a lot of disruption and delays on orders. Not wanting people to be stuck waiting for stuff, we decided to take it all offline, and only offer digital merch.

As of today, we’ve reactivated everything! But please keep in mind that there may still be delays, depending on what’s happening in the world! We appreciate your patience, if patience is indeed called for.

Visit Our Etsy Shop

Season one transcripts

Next, we wanted to let you guys know that we now have transcripts available for season one of the Bitches Get Riches podcast!

We’re committed to making BGR as accessible as we possibly can. We know that some people can’t hear, or struggle to absorb information aurally, so transcripts were something we’ve always wanted to offer.

… But, you know, at the end of the day, we’re just two people! Transcribing and editing audio is time- and labor-intensive work, and there just aren’t enough hours in the day for us to do it along with the fifteen million other things we have to do.

We were able to offer season one transcripts thanks entirely to A Purple Life, a peerlessly talented and wonderful fellow blogger who selflessly made it happen. (If you don’t already read her stuff, you’ve already disobeyed us, as we commanded you to in 10 Rad Black Money Experts to Follow Right the Hell Now. And for that, we’re strongly considering smiting you.)

We’re incredibly thankful to Purple for her hard work on this. But we also feel strongly that this DESERVES to be paid work! So the release of season two transcripts is dependent on getting more Patreon donors to offset funding it.

Season 1, Episode 1: “Should I Tell My Boss I’m Looking for Another Job?”

Season 1, Episode 2: “How Should I Behave on My First Day at Work?”

Season 1, Episode 3: “My Parents Have Bad Credit. Should I Help by Co-signing Their Mortgage?”

Season 1, Episode 4: “Capitalism Is Working for Me. So How Could I Hate It?”

Season 1, Episode 5: “I Don’t Love My Job, but It Pays Well. Should I Quit—or Tough It Out?”

Season 1, Episode 6: “I Lent My Boyfriend Money. He Took It to a Casino.”

Season 1, Episode 7: “I’m Terrible at Budgeting. Do I Suck It Up—Or Is There Another Way?”

Season 1, Episode 8: “My Mother Demands Information About My One-Night Stands.”

Season 1, Episode 9: “I’ve Given up on My Dream Career. Where Do I Go From Here?”

Season 1, Episode 10: “I Want a Pedigreed Dog. She Wants a Rescue Mutt. It Turned into a Fight… and the Fight Got Ugly.”

Season 1, Episode 11: “I Feel Cornered by a Friend Who Keeps Asking to Borrow Money.”

Season 1, Episode 12: “Should I Believe the Fear-Mongering about Another Recession?”

Bonus Episode: Merry Bitchmas! The 2019 Star-Studded Holiday Spectacular

For transcripts, scroll to the bottom of each episode and click “episode transcript.” Or read them directly in the podcast player of your choice!

Podcast reviews

We also super wanted to thank all the people who’ve etched their names in blood upon the dusty pages of our dark grimoire written reviews for the show on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, and other places!

We are beyond flattered by the kind things you guys have said about us. Like MoonPetalLily, who described us as “the snarky older sisters [they] wish [they] had.”

FunshineKelly said our “advice helped [them] land a $20k raise and a signing bonus without crying even a little bit.” GOOD! We don’t support tears in the workplace! Not even in the sanctity of your car parked way in the corner of the parking lot. Keep it together!

And God bless MelHubbs, who said, and I quote:

They’re prepared, and still relaxed; informative, and still light-hearted; comforting, and still sexual. It’s everything you could ever want in a podcast, in an internet personality, in your sisters-in-arms against the terrible war between capitalism and what humans actually need to survive & thrive. One of my favorite things about them is that they don’t have any corporate sponsors or ads, so you know what they’re saying is what they mean, not what their advertisers want them to say. If you’re able, support them on Patreon! If you’re not, listen to their podcast, take their advice to heart, reflect on your options, make your moves, then, with your newfound financial independence, become a patreon!

MelHubbs, you joyful sonnet!

Your review is so good that it reads suspiciously like something we paid you to write! But we’re too cheap for that—IT REAL!

Bitches Get Riches at the crossroads

All right. Time to level with you guys.

In keeping with 2020’s overarching theme (“everything is pure shit”), this year has become a real “shit or get off the pot” moment for the two of us.

Although I’m comfortable and doing fine, Piggy is still unemployed. And last week she received the last unemployment check she’s entitled to. It sucks. And it’s scary.

Being a partnership is awesome in almost every way. But one way that it sucks is that we have to earn double the amount of money to be truly profitable! (And no, before you ask, it’s not possible for us to only pay Piggy. Believe me, that was our original plan—but it turns out that’s not allowed in a 50/50 legal partnership. We must pay ourselves equally, or Uncle Sam will spank us. And he doesn’t do it in the sexy way—only the traumatic way!)

Piggy is doing okay for now. She has freelancing work, and an intact emergency fund. But understandably, anxiety and worry take their toll. She’s pushing through it, but it’s hard. Creativity and passion can’t thrive for long without some measure of safety and stability.

During these scary times, our Patreon community has been a lifeline. As more and more of you have joined us, it’s slowly crept up from grocery money to grocery and utility bill money! So thank you, thank you, from the bottom of our hearts thank you to those who’ve stepped up and joined.

But we’re kind of at a crossroads. Because of Piggy’s situation, we really need it to become “paying the mortgage” money. And it’s gotta get there pretty fast. Otherwise, it’s just not fair to ask Piggy to invest so much of her time in Bitches Get Riches, when she could be taking on higher paying freelancing work to keep herself afloat.

And trust me, you do not want a BGR that’s too Kitty-heavy. I am longwinded af, slowly losing my abilities to think and spell, and take every possible detour to inject disgusting sexual comments wherever they are least germane (although idk maybe you’re here for that).

Our new goal for ourselves, and you

With all of that in mind, we have a new goal: to produce season three of our podcast, we need 500 total Patreon donors.

Today we have… 294. So that’s, uhhhhh… a really ambitious goal!

It’s probably too ambitious. We’re probably gonna fail. Who cares, it’s 2020! The planet is on fire and god is already dead, so we have no reason not to give it our all!

We are leaving this in your hands. We—Piggy and I—believe that the world would be a better place if people could hear reliable, relatable financial wisdom funded by regular people, untainted by corporate sponsors with deep pockets who want us to push their capitalist crap upon you. And 294 of you have already demonstrated that you believe that too. Thank you, thank you, infinity thank yous to all of you who are already a part of our Patreon community. You are shining stars that smell faintly of vanilla.

For the rest of you: if you like what we do and you want us to keep doing it, please show us that you believe in it too. You can do that by joining us at the Bitches Get Riches Patreon.

We hope to be back soon for a third season. Until then, stay safe, stay sane, wear your masks, triple-check that you’re registered to vote, and save room for dessert. (What’s for dessert? So glad you asked—it’s the rich!)

For now, Bitches OUUUTTTTT!

Join the Bitches on Patreon

Join the Bitches on Patreon

[sirenalpha]

1, 11, 19 (:

1. what's the fic youre most proud of?

The Only Thing You Let Hold You it's my longest fic, I think it has the best character arc I've ever written, and I like legit leveled up from writing, pretty much everything I do for writing long fic I'm serious about now comes from how I wrote that fic

11. Has a fic you’ve written ever caused issues/controversy?

🙄 several unfortunately, nothing in the style of like bnf causing a ruckus over social media but there have been fics I've written that have gotten negative reviews/comments

like idk what problem people have with Character but on both ffnet and ao3 going all the way back to 2013 when I started posting it, it's received by far the most criticism of any I've ever written, like enough for me to stop writing it for like 5 years and I don't ever go back to read the early reviews

Piece By Piece got shit for having a gender bend even though there are a good number of fem!Stiles fics and like I'd written gender bended characters before this fic tho they're deleted now and they never got flack

people got weirdly entitled when I stopped writing Stories Lived like lack of engagement wasn't reason enough to stop writing and that I should tag it discontinued even though I gave it an outline ending which no one had a problem with for Double Trouble

I knowingly courted trouble with In the Spaces Between by saying Missouri is not Midwestern in the a/n because I'd seen people say it IN THE TEXT OF THEIR FIC from the pov of a GERMAN living in CANADA who in all probability has no way to know or give a shit about whether Missori is Midwestern so I had to say it because I see that as a characterization issue beyond it just being a nonsensical view in my opinion but I still think it's rude to comment on an author's note and say nothing about the fic itself which is what people were doing so I had to freeze a thread for the first time

and then sometimes people just think the comment sections on my fics are reddit and ignore my fic to talk about historical events, like please, just find my tumblr if you really want to argue about royal succession, you'll lose but you can do it

most of the comments I get on my fic are good but these are all annoying enough to stick out

19. If you could write an ideal fic, what would it include?

idk I feel like I've got character arcs handled so better world building, maybe more profound themes than just like personal self improvement cuz I feel like a lot of my fic lately could be boiled down to it's worth the effort to improve yourself and I'm not saying it's a bad message

but idk I think I should be pushing myself to have deeper meanings than just that

[normal-thoughts-official]

magnus is this notorious pirate famous in the caribbean with everyone talking about him because of how successful he is. his quartermaster is definitely raphael (his care for his clan and how he cares for others solidifies this thought process) and their ship has some corny name that raphael pretends to hate but definitely loves. europe thinks that magnus and his crew are demons(racists fucks) meanwhile theyre out here being nerds who enjoys navigating the seas and ruining racists job prospects+

+cat and ragnor live on nassau with magnus bringing back supplies they sell(we love the blackmarket here). the lightwoods are brought into this world bc their parents send them off to nassau to try and expand the family's business and gain profit off of this lawless place which refuses to be governed by anyone. malec meets at like the local inn where maia works at also where izzy meets her and by association The Polycule)and is just attracted to each other right then and there with bad flirting. once they become settled in, alec and izzy becomes like disillusioned with following what their parents expect of them and start to actually do what they wish. because he's dramatic, alec probably asks ragnor who settled down from pirating for more lessons in sword fighting (hes not unexperienced but theres a difference from fighting on land and on water)

eventually magnus hears about this cue them dramatically learning how to fight on like this cliff top with their swords connecting (we love euphemisms for sex) and them bonding over magnus' book collection he has and them no longer doing what their parents expect of them (im imagining asmodeus as this well traveled trader or something who only cares about money rather than having humanity) and even though magnus is this pirate which is a profession that the "civilized world" looks down on, he's like the epitome of actually having morals and caring about people (pirates were known to drastically impact the slave trade as they often freed slaves and let them join their crew or they worked directly with maroons and indigenous people). 

i imagine their first kiss to be when theyre training and someone has a sword pressed against the others neck because theyre horny bastards and they accept only the dramatics. their proposal/matelot is potc levels of dramatic with them fighting an enemy crew alongside The Polycule(the most badass and queer crew out there) and like halfway through alec is just like marry me and then next thing they know it raphael is officiating their marriage around dead people before they go on to have a better and more planned out wedding on shore (had to get some of this out now before i went too deep, The Poycule is definitely something i paid attention to most considering how big and complex the group is)

ugh not to add to an already huge post but

you are totally right about raphael being his quartermaster! raphael is a great leader and he cares so much for his people and he is one of the few people magnus obviously trusts, even as they have their differences. only other person i could imagine as magnus' quartermaster would be cat but like! raphael is perfect for the job! also i love the idea that he pretends to hate the corny name, he has to pretend to hate magnus' puns and jokes on principle but really he loves it

also "meanwhile they are all nerds" accurate, the whole ship is just a whole mess of people having fun and being family we love that for them

and ok not to slut for the polycule but i'm slutting for the polycule i just. aaa want to know so much more about them. i know you said they were already with maia but idk i can see many of them being part of magnus' crew? especially meliorn and tbh clary lmao she seems the type who would love adventure like that (i'm going with fanon clary here mostly) and i can see simon in both but i can also definitely see simon being in the inn with maia (god i have a half baked au that includes that) because being in the sea all day? no thank you. and they are just this nice local couple that helps all the pirates because fuck the racist law

also it's hilarious because they are so warm and welcoming and the lightwoods get there and simon is like "oh-oh. incoming" and maia is all like "what the fUCK do you want"

which lowkey backfires because izzy is just like "oh she's so fierce, i love her" and is already like, halfway in love doing the head tilt and huge grin thing (she's not creepy about it, just like, she likes it, you know? especially because in this AU izzy was raised as a Rich Girl so she's expected to be all that fragile useless white woman ideal and yada yada and she's not here for that so she's attracted to the idea of women like clary and maia)

and just like ghhgggghhh not to slut but i love the idea that they are in the inn and meliorn raphael and possibly clary are always in the sea so like! sweet reunions! not that they are usually going super far lmao mostly just stopping the slave trade and protecting the caribbean and shit, but that's a few months in between visits and i picture that at some point when they are getting to nassau raphael is just like, vibrating (you know, as much as he allows himself to) and magnus just smiles knowingly, happy that his boy has found people he's so happy with

and raphael getting into the inn and being like "simon! maia!" and simon and maia being like "raphael! meliorn!" and just crashing into this big group hug and it's all laughs and meliorn twirls maia and she giggles and simon kisses raphael's cheek and is all worried about them both (plus clary) because god what the fuck kind of shit did they get into this time, are they hurt? if he's broken another leg he's gonna- and raphael laughs and says "no, cariño, i promise all i have with me are gifts" because he's not gonna travel the caribbean and not bring stuff for his partners. so it's him and meliorn showering maia and simon in gifts and pretty and maybe stolen things (maia in particular takes such great joy in learning that her pretty new bracelet belonged to some racist bitch) like spoils you know? lmao, and looking at them it's like they haven't seen each other in years or something but no it's been like a month and it's always like that

and alec and izzy are just watching that, mouths slack, shocked, but highkey yearning for something as free as that, that loving family and that open love and meliorn's genderfuckery and just everything about them! and alec "conceal don't feel" lightwood is kind of frowning and goes "are they always like that?" to which magnus, behind him, answers "yes" and then he turns around and they stare at each other and magnus quickly goes from "happy for my boys" to "hello tall person" in a matter of seconds and is suddenly all seductive and flirty and alec is having the time of his life? especially since here away from the lightwoods he can allow himself just a little bit, and letting a guy flirt with him can't hurt, right? he knows izzy won't tell their parents. so he engages

cue terribly bad flirting, izzy smiling widely as she watches the polycule dynamics, highkey wanting something like that for herself, especially seeing the way that clary talks to maia all like "look at this SWORD" and all the adventures. and maia still doesn't trust her but apparently magnus has already hit it off with her brother so what the hell, they might as well stay

and just!! yes getting to know each other shenanigans. i picture that like the army gets there and tries to get magnus and his crew and alec and izzy are like running to them to warn them (alec not knowing quite why, he shouldn't be taking that big of a risk, he shouldn't be getting attached to a pirate - of whom he's only heard terrible things so far, thinks they are Evil basically - just because something about him is alluring and represents the freedom he doesn't allow himself to want, but... he is getting attached) and the whole gang is all like *very calmly heading to the secret hideout in their room* oh don't worry about that lmao they do this every week

and idk i just want a moment where they are almost found and alec and izzy lowkey save their ass (i mean they would have managed but they make it easier, maybe use the Privilege Card lmao). maybe the guards were closer than they thought so alec ends up just shoving magnus into the hideout and when the guards come in he's all like "WHO is interrupting our sleep" and acts like an entitled brat and they don't even search the room lmao and then alec runs to the hideout all "sorry that i pushed you, are you okay?" and magnus is all like "i'm fine" but a little touched about the care. just to establish that trust, you know? both between them and between izzy and the rest of the polycule

so after that it all kind of flows smoothly because they know they can genuinely trust the lightwoods and so it grows into something more. magnus and alec can bond over having Terrible Parents With Terrible Morals and they open up about their respective traumas with abuse, and alec confesses to magnus for the first time ever that he doesn't want to be like his parents, that he thought if maybe he earned their respect, he could change things from the inside. and magnus looks at him all soft and touched and is like "there's no changing things from the inside" and alec is like "i'm starting to realize that" you know

and yeah alec gets to see how much that crew cares for each other, way more than his "traditional family" ever could (except for him and izzy who are just as devoted to each other as the crew is, but like, it's honestly less the "blood relations" and more how they've always been there for each other as they handled their parents' shittiness) and again he's just yearning because he always believed he wouldn't get something like that. and magnus in particular is just so caring and just wants to make the world a better place, you know? and he admires that and they bond over that, too

and just jdhdaodshad god i love this. and meanwhile izzy is flirting with maia clary and meliorn like crazy and soon they are like this huge messy group with all those dynamics... and i just aaa and alec and izzy end up joining the crew and daiodsaiodjsaio RAPHAEL OFFICIATING THEIR WEDDING i'm genuinely all for that fucking shit, magnus wants his boy to do it for them and aaaaa! also i DEMAND raphael&meliorn fighting sequences because i bet they would make a bomb ass duo fighting back to back and shit, you know? bonus points if they are defending simon and maia who are behind them and just making sure no one touches them?? i live for this shit 

in short i love this and you said “get some out of your chest" so if there's more, then fuck, i can't wait to see it dahsdaijas i'm sorry for talking so much i get too excited

[mochuelovelli]

Lilith for the character ask?

Oh boy, a controversial character! Gotta say, I stan James Charles /J

How do I feel about this character?:

On a real note, I do like Lilith as a character. When we first meet her, she's pompous and proud. Oozing with entitlement, she's easy to route against and you like to see her get worked up and "brought down" to Eda's level as the wild which so eloquently put it. Later on, but not too much later that it feels disingenuous, we really get to see her show that she cares for her sister. One might believe it is *Eda* being ridiculous, as far as the audience is aware, Lilith's offer holds little downsides. Eda would be cured and be afforded the luxuries of the upper class AND keep her magic. All she had to do was be the Emperor's soldier.

As to not get off track by talking about Eda, (im sure Lilith herself would loathe that lol) Lilith's reveal to have cursed her sister over a spot in the emperor's coven was...controversial to say the least. I don't think it's unpopular to voice that, yeah. It could've been communicated better to the audience since I saw plenty of commentators and regular fans themselves either thought Lilith cursing her sister was *needlessly* petty and not at all thought out (which yeah it kinda was).

From where I stand on that issue is, yeah, Lilith's whole reason to curse her sister could've been avoided by just talking to her sister and asking her to let her have this. BUT, I think a lot of people forget that the Emperor's coven would want to limit the number of powerful witches in their coven. Sure, Belos would want to be protected by a bunch of loyal soldiers, but he wouldn't want too much of the population to ever have a much power as him. So limiting the number of members in not just his coven but possible in the other major covens, would aid in controlling that population.

This might be pure hogwash but like, there are a ton of other "lesser" covens. So in my mind, it's more likely that the general population of witches gets sorted into one of the various miscellaneous. If you think limiting yourself to only practicing Illusion magic sucks, imagine only practicing whatever the fuck the "swag coven" does.

Lol gonna add a page break this shit is getting too long

Romantic Ships for this character?:

Hm, it's only s1 and we haven't seen her interact w/ many characters outside of her fam/Belos/actual children. I kinda jokingly ship here with Steve lol. Kikimora and her also have a funny dynamic but in all actuality, I don't ship her w/ anyone rn.

Non-Romantic Ships for this character?:

Her and Hooty lol. I mean Eda is an obvious answer but like, Hooty fucking with Lilith is too funny to not want to see. Her and King would be great too, probably get some good B plots out of it. It would be a good contrast since they both can be petty but in different ways and I think that would help flesh out their characters a bit more and maybe cause some introspection (at least on Lilith’s end lol)

Unpopular opinion about this character?:

Lol. I feel like she is such a divisive character in general that most opinions about her aren’t too out of the main stream. I guess a more meta take is that when she’s portrayed in fanworks, usually fanfic but not exclusively, very...one note lol. She’s usually a pretty flat, boring character in an attempt to highlight the contrast between her and Eda. She’s the straight-laced, “responsible” sibling who has a chip on her shoulder. In fanon, that equates to her characterization to either be like, completely and utterly apologetic to the point where it becomes unbelievable for any person to do. Her apologizing or making amends is usually quickly forgiven by Luz/and or Eda. Sure, Luz is very forgiving person naturally but like?? She’s wasn’t mad in canon too much about THEIR well being (almost getting impaled), she was specifically pissed about Lilith betraying Eda. 

So, if Lilith is a big part of your story (and it’s working in the realm of canon), then this should be a problem which doesn’t get resolved by just ONE big action. I also feel like her being on better terms with Eda would come BEFORE Luz since Eda’s main gripe with her would be about her being annoyed by Lilith’s controlling nature and the fact that she didn’t trust her enough to talk about her feelings back when she was first cursed (also her using Luz against her but I feel like that would probably be a hurdle that wouldn’t really be over come until Lilith in turn would be willing to sacrifice herself for Luz while also making an effort to care for Luz as a person not just see her as a “pet”). Hhhh this section is so long and its kinda bleeding over in the next question so-

Something I wish will happen or would have wanted to happen in canon?:

yall if you are still reading I am so sorry sksk

I want Lilith in general, not to be forgiven by either Luz or Eda. Eda probably early on stating about how she is unsure if she could EVER forgive her sister for what she has done. BUT, critically, Eda would see that Lilith is trying and she is willing to work with her (with a unhelpful dose of teasing) because at the end of the day she still loves her sister. For the relationship they had before everything with south, for knowing her side of the story even though she believes it doesn’t justify her actions. She understands and sympathizes, she’s grown a bit softer thanks to Luz, which is very funny since I want Luz to be the one who is the hardest to convince Lilith actually had a change of heart but more on that later. 

Before I move on to what I want her path towards forgiveness with Luz looks like, I want to bring up a parallel that I haven’t seen many people make. Fans always talk about the parallel between the Clawthornes and Luz/Amity, and rightly so because there is a lot to extrapolate there, but I think another interesting dynamic that might be interesting to see in s2 would be an episode that focuses on lost friendship/sisterhood with the Clawthornes and Amity and Willow. It’s kinda funny that Amity and Willow’s friendship was ruined because Willow was too “weak” while Eda was too “powerful”. In a potential episode, it can show the progression both Eda/Lilith and Willow/Amity are making in rekindling their relationship with each other. For Eda and Lilith this would be a lot more rough around the edges since it both be either the first or one of the first attempts at doing so while Willow/Amity would maybe be further along yet still have some major/minor hang ups with one another. With Willow/Amity, their relationship would either be rounding the bend of fully moving past the “idk how to feel about you stage” or it is stated outright that Willow forgives Amity, (and by forgive, I mean in the “we both know what you did, you’ve actually changed. we won’t have the same relationship that we once had but I’m okay with trying again”). In contrast, Lilith and Eda would reach a understanding and come up with some ground rules on how to handle each other (Eda’s main take away from this “episode” would be what I previously stated in the last question), ones that will be more like guidelines cuz its Eda lol. Also what separates the Clawthornes conflict from the Willow/Amity one (besides the obvious) is that the Clawthornes both know how the other works. Which buttons to push and all that so both of them are going to have to learn to resist doing that, at least a bit, in order to actually progress. 

ANYWAYS, I also want Luz to be the one to regard Lilith the coldest. Luz refusing to let Lilith teach her anything despite probably having more practical/book smarts knowledge on magic theory than Eda because she doesn’t trust her. If they are gonna use that masked dude as a spy, I want Luz to assume Lilith is somehow a coconspirator. This plot thread doesn’t have to be going at 100% the whole time, (in fact I would want it to be a temp thing maybe lasting a couple eps at most or like, just something that is hinted at but not dived deeply until the second half of the season). Really, Lilith has a hard time because Luz straight up doesn’t give her the opportunity to really express her regret/remorse. Lilith probably won’t at first give her a ton of reasons to forgive her as she usually attempts at coming back at Luz’s snide remarks with her own quippy comebacks. Sksk a really angsty end to an attempt could include Lilith saying something to Luz after going on a small talk with her (where yeah Lilith has improved but still needs noticeable work) that she “reminds her a lot of Eda” and Luz bites back with something like “Oh yeah? You going to curse me too? You want another person you can force to do what YOU want?”. 

Hell maybe “parental problems” could have Lilith poke at, either on purpose or accidentally, Luz’s feelings about going back to the human world and Camila. Lilith reminding her, maybe unknowingly, reminds her a lot of her mom and that causes her to blow up on her. Luz would hate that comparison, thinking about how similar her mom and Lilith are to one another. That because she still has such a strong dislike of Lilith, it bleeds over into how Luz views Camila and vice versa. In that, both Camila and Lilith value respect, an adherence to the rules, have a great sense of wisdom (arguably for Lilith lol /hj), and (eventually for Lilith once she gets to know Luz better) a genuine want for Luz to succeed and belief in her even though they are critical of her actions at times. Sure Eda reminds her of that more, motherly protective kind of love, in which she would do anything for her to be happy and healthy. Lilith can be the other side of that, the worry and slight doubt. That familiar way they each go about trying to understand and get close to Luz yet not quite getting it yet would still do whatever she’d ask for her sake. Luz at first would take Lilith being disappointed in her actions as an accomplishment. As they grow closer and the more Lilith reminds her of her mom, it becomes scary. The disappointment hurts and in an effort not to feel like that again and to not want to think about the comparison between Lilith and her mother she will snap back at her. Eventually Lilith would then have to change again and reassure her that she cares and by extent, her mother cares to. It is here Lilith is willing to let go of being so constantly controlling and learns to encourage first (or do some form of the compliment sandwich) and Luz comes to peace with her feelings about her mother and understands her position better. To be able to love herself even if she knows that she will always try to do her best. 

oh my fucking god you made it im so sorry i guess i had a lot of thoughts. fffffff

[jyndor]

I swear, WHY are these people harassing MINORS. The atla fandom is mostly adults at this point, that they're SEARCHING KIDS OUT is just so absolutely disgusting. Those kids got to miss the initial ship wars, let them go through 2020 in peace.

Anon I feel you. Full disclosure, I have had a bottle of wine and spent four hours talking to my family on zoom so I’m heated. Okay, here we go. Let me say this. I am 29 and neurodivergent/ADHD so I prefer explicitly-stated social rules of engagement. Like I don’t always pick up on social cues and that has gotten me into interpersonal conflicts in the past with my peers.

BUT. I am 29 so I also understand that I am in a different place than I was when I was 15 or 12 or 17. I have different needs, different expectations, from those who interact with me than I did when I was a kid. Fuck, I know how it might have felt back 15 years ago to hear adults say “she’s a kid, she doesn’t know what she needs, her brain isn’t fully developed and she can’t legally consent” yeah that pissed me off and in some ways it wasn’t true but with regard to consent it was. Of course it was. But what I’m hearing from these minors, these teenagers who I don’t know if they’re 12 or 17, but they’re not asking to be treated like adults - they’re asking to be treated with respect.

Now all of what I am about to say is not me excusing this behavior, but analyzing why it happens. And yes, I am about to say that all of these anons are white I can smell the entitlement in the air.

I know why these fools are targeting minors and poc zutara shippers. I know why. You know why. We all know. They are EASY fucking targets. It’s sick, picking on kids. Absolutely sick. Harassment, predatory. And they are also acting in bad faith - if they were working in good faith, they would come off anon and say, “hey x I truly believe that zutara is harmful and I am confused as to why a poc would be cool with something that other poc say is harmful to them, can we have a discourse?” now granted, this is fucked up and essentialist garbage, and no one is entitled to discourse~ with random people on social media.

Now I want to make something clear before I get to my next bit: the zutara fandom is not the r*ylo fandom. First off, the zutara fandom has experienced hateful shit from TPTB since early on in fandom; we don’t have a lot of support from the creators. In fact, the creators have been outwardly misogynistic and hostile to us. Okay, Dante Basco and some of the writers MIGHT ship zutara but that’s like, not institutional support. And also there is a history of SOME fan creations being really fucking racist. That shit, the “dark enemies hate sex” shit that zutara is stereotyped as being about, is almost completely purged from fandom. Not that it doesn’t exist still. And not that it shouldn’t be corrected and that we shouldn’t try to grow as a fandom. Have I seen shitty politics from zutara shippers? Yes. And I cringe every time, but like I don’t expect every person to agree with my politics. We have grown so much as a fandom - and you can tell by the fan creations. Fanworks are not about non-consensual domination anymore (like they often were in the early days of atla), they are about respect and reconciliation. And they have been for YEARS, like I’m talking s2 onward, when zutara took off. *sips wine*

‘cause here’s the thing. Fandoms are groups of people. People, as a result of centuries-old imperialist/racist constructs, are racist. We have to actively unlearn so fucking much. And any fandom is going to have its shitty elements. This is not something non-zutara shippers are exempt from. Actually, the zutara fandom has done a lot of work to make the fandom safe for poc and minors over the years and I am so proud of it. I have never seen that in a fandom. Ever. It’s not to say it’s perfect, of course not.

We did that on our own. Not because kataangers or sokka/zuko shippers were like WTF RACIST lol no because poc in the fandom were like, HEYYY before you write capture fic please learn about x, y and z, and the white parts of fandom were like, oh shit let’s get educated, this ship is about reconciliation and growth, let’s live up to that. I mean honestly from what I’ve seen from the larger atla fandom, which has a hard time dealing with the criticisms about why atla is racist (lol shocking that bryke appropriating cultures for their financial benefit would be considered racist but /s) could learn from the zutara fandom. js.

Honestly I assume most of these anons are just fuckin white asshole anti-zutara trolls who have never actually interacted with the zutara fandom. As a white person I do think that we white people have a certain level of entitlement to spaces that are not ours. Like, I don’t see poc who have had to be in more collectivist or communal settings as a result of colonialism and white supremacy invading spaces they don’t belong to in the same way that white people do. This is a LEARNED behavior, not an essence or in our DNA. Like, many white people get pissy about not being allowed by social contract to say certain slurs, but like... A) it’s not a legally enforced LAW lmfao and B) those white people only get annoyed when they realize they aren’t allowed to say it. That’s an extreme example, but I think it’s emblematic of a larger problem - because of colonialist ideology, white people feel entitled to ALL spaces and ALL things. We get annoyed when things don’t work how we feel they should. I grew up expecting things to change when my social class put pressure on those things, so it is always going to be somewhat jarring for me to know that that isn’t the case for marginalized communities.

I know some of my friends who are black have said things like, “lol cait why are you so shocked and appalled that x is the way it is, that’s how it always has been.” Not always, and not all of my friends, but like it happens. In those instances it’s like, I see something happen that is racist or fucked up, and they’re like... yeah. Obviously. But for someone who is not exposed to something, they might find it hard to swallow. When it comes to fascists and capitalists, I don’t have any sympathy left to offer - just get fucking educated or have a fist to the nose. But ships are not at that level. And like people work with political bubbles, where they often get isolated to what discourse is happening in other bubbles, fandoms and subfandoms (like ship fandoms) also exist in bubbles. (I am not saying that fascists/capitalists are soul searching in their bubbles, but they do exist in clear bubbles on and offline and that is terrifying to me; their discourse cannot be GOOD and I hate not knowing what they are plotting).

Example. I don’t interact with r*ylo unless it interacts with ME, and what I see, I don’t like. (let me be clear, I am not comparing zutara with r*ylo because they are NOT equivalent; I would not be a zutara shipper if I thought they were similar). But I don’t go into shipper tags and harass children who support r*ylo. I hate it, I really do it fucking sends me up a wall, but I only ever interact with anti-r*ylo content. and in that way, I don’t know what discourse the r*ylo fandom is doing to correct its horseshit. I only know what I see, and I see r*ylo shippers being toxic and racist.

So I hate fucking r*ylo but you don’t see me going out of my way to interact with r*ylos about their ship. I can’t begin to tell you how much I am ANTI-r*ylo. It is antithetical to everything I believe. But again, I am not going into the tags, searching for r*ylos to harass. Maybe the r*ylo fandom is working on its toxic shit, maybe it isn’t. I have no idea, and I am not going to harass r*ylos about it in their inboxes unless they come into my inbox and harass me. And by the way, even then I am not going to have private conversations with shitty people - that’s all gonna be public, bitch.

Wow... IDK if this is coherent because like I said, wine. At best, these anons are racist white people who think that they are helping the anti-racist cause by attacking people who they think are pushing racist narratives... but are not challenging their implicit biases and so are picking on the most vulnerable people, who because of essentialist garbage, they feel like are traitors of the Cause or whatever, and also are minors so they assume are incapable of fighting back.

It’s racism, my friend. I’m drunk, but it’s racism. Hopefully I don’t have much to edit in this tomorrow morning lmfao. Please tell me if anything doesn’t make sense.

[spaceskam]

What do you think about this. I know it’s infuriating for me: Guerin having the time of his life, all loved up with DeLuca, not sparing one single thought for Alex or seeming conflicted about his feelings, while Alex is not allowed to move on completely, being with Forrest but still pining for someone who never thinks about him😡

Ehhhh idk if "loved up" is the word. Maybe I watch with malex goggles, but to me it always seems like Guerin is trying REALLY HARD to make it believable. I'm sure he actually does like her, but it definitely feels like he's overshooting it so that everyone buys it.

That being said, not excusing him completely not even taking into consideration Alex's feelings. I think on some deep level he does it because he knows he can because Alex has always come back and he thinks he can push and push and Alex will come and, if he doesn't, then he was right anyway. Which is bullshit but Guerin, as much I love him and relate to him, has a bit of a victim complex. Forever salty about him telling Max "you're the only one who never gave up" as if Isobel wasn't right there and was the ACTUAL one who never gave up. Season 2 Guerin has skewed feelings and that's just Bad Writing.

Then tbh I kinda want Michael to be jealous/entitled if only so it pushes Alex to yell at him. I want Michael to realize that he genuinely cant get away from people being tied up in his past and he wants Alex more and he tries to get him and Alex tells him no, even if he wants to say yes. I want him to work for Alex. Will we see that? Probably not. But that's what I want.

I don't think it's a "Michael is allowed to move on, Alex isn't" situation as much as it's an "Alex thinks he's horrible so he will support anything that makes Michael happy while Michael is understandably selfish when it comes to this one human and can't process any other emotion other than angst" situation.

I wrote a story yesterday where Alex tells Michael he's not just there to be apart of his story. I think the writers of the show should realize that.

[sadboydayzz]

Episode 11 of Rainbow High rant

ok so I know I haven’t really talked about rainbow high here, but episode 11 has made me feel inspired, so here we are. I just wanna take a deep look into this video, especially since I’ve seen a few people pick sides. Not saying anyone is wrong, everyone is entitled to their opinion, I just wanna put everything out there.

So at the start of the episode we see Bella calling Jade to tell her how Vi has posted a video of Bella being expelled from Rainbow High and how it has almost a million views. Thats a lot of people who now know and saw Bella at a low point and getting kicked out of presumably an extremely hard school to get into. Thats humiliating and can crush anyones self esteem. Of course, Jade is angry and when she confronts Vi about the video, Vi seemingly only cares about the views at that point.

Vi, up until later in the episode, definitely has the “influencer” archetype. Wanting to film and share everything in her life, which is fine in my opinion, there are thousands of irl influencers who do the same thing. But of course, this was a private and serious moment, something that shouldn’t be shared.

Ruby and Jade decide to teach Vi a lesson by posting something embarrassing of Vi online. Now, we know they are roommates, classmates, and most likely friends. I think this action was not necessary, they could have done an intervention at most, but Vi does seem to not care about what happens to others until it happens to her mindset, so possibly, having an embarrassing moment posted online was the only way she would understood Bella’s pain.

Even though I would not consider having a video of you dancing and goofing off in private going viral as bad as having a video of you getting kicked out of your dream school, hysterically crying, and having very little time to say goodbye to your friends to be on the same level. But we can see that Vi was mocked and even (I would say) bullied by everyone in the school. Her roommate, who she trusted enough to bring into her close circle and see her just being herself, now posted a video behind her back to make fun of her, that hurts.

Now of course we dont know what’s happening to Bella outside of rainbow high, should could also be being bullied or looked down at from her family, but what we do know, she is very distressed about the whole video.

And though Vi learned her lesson, she was mocked in her face by the A’s, the popular kids at school and a group of people she looks up to.

I was bullied as a kid by a group of people I thought were my friends, so I could be taking this to a personal level, but I can see were Vi messed up but the hell she had to go through just to learn a lesson, yikes. But we all do learn through experience.

To sum up, this was a weird episode, and even though Ruby and Jade felt bad and decided to look like fools in front of the school together to make Vi feel better was a weird ending, but hey, this is for kids. I think no one should be necessarily mad at Vi, she was blinded by views and wanted that perfect image of an influencer, but she was willing to take the video down after realizing and Bella seemed to forgive her by liking the video at the end. But what Ruby and Jade did was down right wrong. They pushed revenge in order to feel like they were helping Bella and being the bigger people, but really the went low to take their friends trust and allowed her to be made fun of at school.

Also wouldnt Jade and Ruby be breaking the “cant publish student work” since technically Vi didnt sign a permission slip for them to film and upload the video? idk that whole plot point was weird too.

anyways thats my rant, if u want to follow me on insta for doll content its @druzydoll , gm/gn everyone and remember to drink water and eat something :)

[bigskydreaming]

(Last Anon) I write a lot of dark shit. I’ll openly admit it helps me cope with the shit Ive been through. It was advised to me by a therapist, and reading and writing it makes me feel better. The tagging system helps me avoid the things that WOULDNT make me feel better. It’s up to me to make that distinction. What level of tagging would actually make you comfortable? Do you want to stop people from writing anything noncon all together? (Idk if this sounds attacky, I don’t mean it that way)

I answered before I saw this second question, so I’ll try to make this briefer...

I’m gonna be blunt here: I’m.....not exactly side-eyeing that therapist, because its not like I’ve talked to or worked with every therapist out there lol, and I don’t know their reasoning on this subject, but I DO question whether or not there’s room in your dialogue with your therapist to expand on this and explore if there’s any kind of miscommunication or misinterpretation of WHY they suggested it might make you feel better....as well as whether or not they meant just in writing it for yourself vs writing it to share with other people online.

I say that last part because those can be very distinct things.....because ALL forms of writing, are at their core inherently just....communicating ideas. Even to ourselves.

Its why journaling is so effective for a lot of people. Its literally just us using writing to express our own ideas to ourselves, to communicate what we’re already thinking or feeling to ourselves in more...digestible ways we can more easily internalize even if we’re the only intended audience for what we write there.

And I also say this because there’s a difference between exploration and validation....and the intended results and receptions to both these things.

Like.....tbh, I’ve spent a lot of my life asking WHY, in terms of why certain of my victimizers might have done the things to me that they did. Its been a large, central question at times.....the mystery of it being something that’s bothered me to large degrees.

So in that vein, there is a certain logic to writing various dark shit in an effort to reach SOME kind of understanding, even just in my own mind. Trying to understand what they were even thinking, the WHY of it, in order to at least transform the unknown of it into something real or tangible that I could more easily refute or push back against. 

But all of that can be done in the form of writing just to myself. The second I share that writing with a wider public, many of them unknown to me, however.....it takes on a whole new dimension.

Because now I’m not just communicating my thoughts on this matter to myself.....I’m communicating it to an audience of people all with their own thoughts, priorities, lived experiences, etc. And there is ZERO guarantee, or even really a realistic expectation, that this wider audience is receiving what I’m communicating or interpreting it or whatever.....in the same vein, and for the same reasons, that I’m writing it in the first place.

So not only do I now have to factor in that while say, exploring my victimizers’ mindsets in order to make them more real and thus more realistically refuted, like....that might be my motivation for writing it to myself, and MY understanding of what I’ve written and why......but to people out there in that wider audience....I have NO idea what they’re getting out of it. People who actually ALREADY think this way could see it as validation, proof that the predatory thoughts they had were more normal and acceptable than society otherwise wanted them to think.....or other victims of similar kinds of events could accidentally use it to negatively reinforce ideas they had about THEIR victimizers’ being valid in thinking the way they did, and for doing the things they did to them.

But then I also have to now factor in the ADDITIONAL angle that is....feedback. And especially, ESPECIALLY in a fandom environment which simply does not allow for or condone negative reception to this kind of content, and will default to defending the author and any readers of the author, REGARDLESS of their motivations or intentions....over a reader who is genuinely distressed by how they received the content.

Because feedback IS validating. Plain and simple. Positive reception IS affirming, in WHATEVER we do.

So....now there’s the problem that I can’t honestly say for sure at this point if what’s making me feel better about writing this dark shit is just the writing of it itself, communicating whatever it communicates to me when I put it to paper....OR if maybe what’s making me feel better is the external validation I’m getting from readers who for their own reasons, whatever they might be, are telling me this is fantastic, I’m great at this, they want more.

And that can very easily become a trap, see....because whereas initially my writing this stuff for myself might have had some benefit....if the how and why of me doing this goes somewhere it wasn’t ever intended and becomes something else entirely....that can eventually like....overtake and REPLACE my original motivations completely.

And instead of this being something I do for a FINITE period of time, for as long as I need to in order to work through this stuff....it can become something I kinda just...dwell in, and never move past.....because the validation I’m getting from writing this specific content and how that VALIDATION makes me feel, specifically.....gives me reason enough not to...ever actually move past this stuff no matter how else it might be effecting my life or my mindsets about things.

And I’m not saying that’s what’s going on with you or going to happen with you or anything of the sort, because I flat out DO NOT KNOW your situation or your therapist or what they recommended or why.

I’m just saying....the problem with using ‘coping mechanisms’ as a catch-all defense without ever delving into the specifics of WHY this specific coping mechanism and what specifically its meant to accomplish....is there is nothing inherent in a coping mechanism that’s like.....good.

Because coping is the bare minimum, frankly.

It should never be upheld as the IDEAL.

So for instance, as a survivor of physical abuse and in terms of how that often made me feel weak or powerless....I could, feasibly, say getting into physical fights is a coping mechanism for me, as long as I win them, because they make me feel strong or powerful. I could genuinely say, despite how it sounds, punching someone on some level DOES make me feel better.

But could I actually argue this is any way ideal, healthy or sustainable in the longterm? Let alone ignore the effect is has on the people I fight, for what are essentially entirely self-serving reasons?

I’m just saying....coping isn’t always the be all and end all....and it can get away from us very quickly if we lose sight of WHY we’re doing it and to what end.

And to answer the rest of your questions.....all of this is what I want. All of the above conversation is the POINT of my frequent rants.

Because these kinds of conversations are ESSENTIAL to what fandom CLAIMS are the point of these kinds of fics and content and readerships.

These are not things that can just be assumed, or things that are one size fits all and the same for every writer and reader regardless of personal situation.

But can you honestly say that fandoms, as they exist now, are remotely open or conducive to HAVING these kinds of conversations regularly? To making the asking of THESE specific kinds of questions something people regularly do, or check in with, or consider before or during the creation or consuming of dark content.....as opposed to just taking for granted that its fine and its GOOD because fandom has been doing it this way all along and everyone who’s been a guiding influence to you in fandom has previously assured you this is fine and works and doesn’t need fixing or adjusting?

Because I don’t think they are, and THAT’S my issue, and THAT’S what I want, in answer to your other question.

Do I really want people to just stop writing dark shit altogether? At least the fetishistic kind, the kind that exploits real peoples’ real traumas for entertainment rather than be respectful of the inherent power and weight it comes with just by virtue of being what it is?

I mean, on the one hand, yes, sure. I’m not going to lie. That would be ideal.

But part of why I object so strongly to accusations of purity policing and censorship is because I DON’T view the world in terms of black and white, binary thinking.

And so on the other hand, no, this isn’t what I want, because it isn’t something I spend any time actually WANTING....because that would be a waste of time and effort, because I UNDERSTAND that that’s just not a realistic want. I’m not likely to ever see like, just a full scale abandonment of the consumer culture fad of rape culture.....and I don’t want to actually censor it because I fully believe censorship is just a band-aid slapped on a gaping chest wound....banning content does nothing to address the WANT of a type of content, and as long as that want persists, people will find a way to feed it.

So realistically, ACTIONABLY.....all I really want is this. More of these kinds of conversations, engagements. Open, frank, directness about what’s ACTUALLY going on with a lot of this content and being communicated with it, the risks inherent in it....acknowledgment of the negative impact that goes hand in hand with the positive impact you get from readers saying they like this, they enjoyed it.

And yeah, I fully admit and hope that along the way, it DOES lead to more people just stopping writing this type of content altogether.....BUT the WHY of that is important.

Because I believe this would only happen or come about because in the act of actually ASKING these questions of themselves and their work, ACTUALLY acknowledging the full scale of impact, the bad as well as the good, actually LISTENING to people who complain or criticize it instead of just dismissing them as entitled or whiny or puritans....I do think that this would inevitably lead to some people abandoning this type of content altogether.....because its just flat out not really enjoyable to them when they consider it in the context of its negative impact AS WELL as the positive.

But the thing is......THAT, yeah, I’m okay with. Because I don’t believe anyone is entitled to LIE to themselves or hide from the negative impact of their own actions or actions of those around them, just in order to preserve the entertainment value of ONE aspect of ONE personal hobby.

That, I have no shame about potentially having an influence on people in regards to, because there is literally NOTHING WRONG with asking people to be more aware of themselves and their place and impact among others, and to interact honestly and directly with their own actions, likes, and interests.

Like, there’s just not.

And I fully believe everyone really already knows that, and that’s WHY this conversation so frequently gets twisted and derailed into being about things its just not about...censorship, purity policing, fiction not being the same as reality....

None of those are the point. THIS is the point. Has always been MY point, at the very least.

Bottom line, fandom as is, expects people whose lives are directly reflective of specific types of content to make THEMSELVES smaller in fandom spaces, in order to make room and make way for the content a lot of people like.

And I fully and unapologetically believe that’s backwards.

Fic should not take priority over people. Fictional interests should not be more important to a fandom COMMUNITY than lived experiences.

Nobody has any right to ask or expect other fans to make room, object less, isolate more.....just so that other people can enjoy certain fictional content without having to do any serious examination of it and how that makes them feel.