#lightning-radish

[lightning-radish]

peepurrs

new artstyle test! ! !! !

[blueteller]

Halour, I'm kinda curious... What crimes have Cale done, exactly? I see a number of "crime list" videos about him but the wiki don't really confirm anything💀

— 🌄

...The Time Has Come. 😌

I have long promised this list, so perfect timing! Thank you very much for this question! Allow me to introduce you to:

Cale Henituse's Crime List

(Just for the fun of it, I tried to give a different example for every single one of these. Some events repeat, but not the crimes!)

1) Accessibility of Records for Tax Department

Cale looted significant amounts of money from the Magic Tower and many other places, without leaving any legal trace.

2) Affray

Multiple occasions, like pretty much everything that happened in the Molden Kingdom.

3) Aggravated Assault

Cale rarely gets physically involved in a fight, but I think suddenly strangling Prince Adin qualifies.

4) Aggravated Burglary

Every single time "Real Arm" is in business.

5) Allowing Dog or Cat To Be a Nuisance

How else would you call encouraging your animal shape-shifting kids to be involved in criminal activity? Also Fluffy the Puppy was under Cale's command even if he technically belonged to Princess Jopis, I say it totally counts.

6) Ammunition – Possessing, Acquiring or Carrying

Cale intentionally pocketed magic bombs from the Plaza Terror Incident and used them later on.

7) Animal Cruelty

...Does Cale subjecting On to his "nice act" in front of Litana counts? Oh it definitely counts. That poor child.

8) Armed Robbery

That time Cale & co. robbed the Mercenary Guilds in Leeb-An City, for instance.

9) Arson

Setting the Wind Island on fire.

10) Assaulting or Resisting Police

That time Cale & co. went to Sez Kingdom. Pretty sure the knights trying to stop them from kidnapping the king counts as "resisting law enforcement".

11) Being Disguised With Unlawful Intent

Priest Cale in a nutshell.

12) Blackmail

That time Cale talked to Antonio Gyerre.

13) Breaking and Entering

Cale coming to the Sekka Estate.

14) Careless Driving

Debatable since a fantasy world doesn't own cars – but. I count Cale breaking through walls of a maze on a mother-effing Stone Imugi as "irresponsible driving". Just think of what kind of example you're setting for the kids, Cale!

15) Carrying a Loaded Firearm in Public

Cale has Raon following him everywhere, so.....?

16) Carrying Out Plumbing Work Without License or Registration

Cale has an underground villa in the Forest of Darkness. I'm pretty sure whatever construction work they did there would count as illegal.

17) Carrying Out Work Without a Building Permit

Cale had Dragons teleport an entire castle into the Forest of Darkness. Yet again, involves a building with no legal paperwork.

18) Causing Injury Intentionally

Obviously. Like making fiery lightning bolt strike in the middle of an Elf Village attack. Or hitting a radish with a rock.

19) Collecting or Making Documents Likely to Facilitate Terrorist Acts

Everything involving Knight Rex after he became a terrorist.

20) Conspiracy

Cale and Alberu talking about anything.

21) Control of Body Armor

After reading it up, I decided that mana disruption device ABSOLUTELY falls into this category.

22) Control and Use of Dangerous Articles

Cale adopting pretty much everyone on his team.

23) Corrupting Benefits Received By Commonwealth Public Official

Cale using Alberu's golden plaque to trap the White Star with Embrace. I mean, if being infected with that clown doesn't count as corruption, I don't know what does.

24) Cultivation of Narcotic Plants

Cale letting Hong eat plants in the Forest of Darkness. It IS, in his own words, his own backyard.

25) Dangerous Non-Guard Dog Attacks or Bites a Person or Animal with Person in Control

Cale letting Choi Han beat up Adin. ...Well, Choi Han COULD be counted as a Guard Dog, but. They never formalized the paperwork? I say it counts since Choi Han isn't legally registered!

26) Dealing With Property Suspected of Being Proceeds of Crime

Cale renting a house from Odeus Flynn.

27) Dealing With Property Which Subsequently Becomes an Instrument of Crime

Cale buying the Magic Tower before he proceeds to kidnap Mueller.

28) Delaying the Entry of Police

Cale not letting the law enforcement know about the Plaza Terror Incident beforehand. Also, activating the mana disruption device, knowing it would hinder their efforts to stop terrorism. ...Yes Cale & co. prevented said terrorism better on their own but it still counts.

29) Deliberately Omitting Information

Cale making an Vow of Death to Choi Han claiming that he can't tell him anything.

30) Destroying, Damaging and/or Interfering with Any Works of a Water Corporation

Setting the Lake of God's Tears on fire.

31) Destroying or Damaging Property

Cale destroying houses in the Gyerre territory.

32) Destruction of Evidence

Cale and Raon blowing up Hais Island 5 to cover up Ron's infiltration.

33) Directing the Activities of a Terrorist Organization

Cale's entire career in a nutshell, really.

34) Discharge Missile to Endanger Person or Property

Cale blowing up the whirlpools in the Ubarr territory.

35) Dishonestly Cause a Loss

Cale tricking the White Star into the abandoned underground city.

36) Disturbing Religious Worship

Cale messing with the Sun God's Church for being mean to Mary.

37) Driving an Unregistered Vehicle

Cale & co. using Mary's bone Dragon.

38) Drunkards Behaving in Riotous or Disorderly Manner

Cale pretending to be drunk in the Gyerre territory.

39) Endangering Safety of Aircraft

Cale letting his allies abroad an airship during the Jungle battle.

40) Entering a Place Without Authority or Lawful Excuse

Cale rescuing Raon.

41) Extortion With Threats to Destroy Property

Cale threatening the slave traffickers in the Gyerre territory.

42) Failure to Notify the Authorities of Criminal Activity

Cale doesn't notify Alberu of crap, unless it's to make him clean-up the aftermath.

43) Failure to Register a Pet

Pretty sure Cale registered exactly none of his allies. ...Except maybe the Tiger Tribe that one time they moved into Harris Village with Deruth's permission. Everyone else? Not a chance.

44) Falsifying or Concealing Identity

Cale acting as Naru von Ejellan in Endable Kingdom.

45) Forgery of Documents

Cale and Taylor faking an ancient document to fool the White Star.

46) Fraud

Cale promising Plavin Singten benefits for siding with the new Sun Church.

47) Getting Funds To, From, or For a Terrorist Organization

Cale sponsoring his allies, like giving Rosalyn magic stones.

48) Going Equipped for Stealing

Cale making Real Arm uniform.

49) Handling Stolen Goods

Cale using Divine Items.

50) Identity Theft

Cale introducing himself as Bob.

51) Indecent Assault

Cale telling Choi Han to strip that one time. (Yes, it actually happened. ...Not the way shippers wished for, obviously.)

52) Inducement to Be Appointed Liquidator

Cale helping Princess Jopis overthrow her sister on the condition of benefits for the Roan Kingdom.

53) Insider Trading

Cale selling Alberu dead mana from a Dragon.

54) Intentionally or Recklessly Causing a Bushfire

Cale setting that bush monster on fire in Xiaolen.

55) Introduction of a Drug of Dependence Into the Body of Another Person

Cale letting Rosalyn drink coffee on Earth 3.

56) Kidnapping

Cale & co. capturing Venion Stan.

57) Leaving Children Without Supervision

Cale letting the kids look for Mueller.

58) Lighting of Fires in the Open Air

Cale using Fire of Destruction against Sky Attribute.

59) Loitering Near Schools

Cale & the kittens in the Sez Kingdom.

60) Loitering With Intent to Commit an Indictable Offence

Cale letting Clopeh Sekka spot him that first time.

61) Manslaughter

Cale letting Choi Han, Rosalyn and Lock go and destroy the Archduke's Estate.

62) Membership of a Terrorist Organization

Cale making up Real Arm.

63) Murder

Cale killing the White Star.

64) Negligent Manslaughter

Cale letting Ron go on a vacation.

65) Non-dangerous Dog Attacks

Cale letting Choi Han spar with Hilsman.

66) Obtaining Property By Deception

Litana giving Cale free stuff.

67) Offences Connected With Explosive Substances

Cale commissioning Eruhaben to create Dragon's Rage.

68) Other Acts Done in Preparation for, or Planning, Terrorist Acts

Every morning Cale drinks lemon tea.

69) Possessing More Fish Than the Catch Limit

Cale dealing with Whales. ...Whales are fish, what are you talking about?

70) Possessing Controlled Weapon, Housebreaking Implements, and Things Connected With Terrorist Attacks

Everything Cale owns in the Super Rock Villa.

71) Possession of Precursor Chemicals

Cale making Billos buy alchemy ingredients.

72) Prohibited Weapons

Cale utilizing the Dragon Bones in battle.

73) Providing or Receiving Training Connected With Terrorist Acts

Cale letting his people train in his backyard.

74) Public Nuisance

Cale letting Choi Han act.

75) Reckless Conduct Endangering Life and/or Endangering Serious Injury

Cale every time he uses his Ancient Powers.

76) Recruiting for a Terrorist Organization

Cale adopting the Tiger Tribe.

77) Robbery

Stealing magic stones from the Alchemy Towers.

78) Sabotage

Cale going behind the Empire's back while he helps out the Whipper Kingdom.

79) Setting Traps to Kill

Cale Ghost Operation during the sea battle against the Indomitable Alliance.

80) Smuggling

Cale helping Cage and Taylor into capital.

81) Stalking

Cale entering Alberu's bedroom whenever he wants.

82) Stating False Name When Requested

Cale never letting anyone know about the transmigration and calling himself Cale Henituse.

83) Tax Evasion

Willful tax evasion for sudden wealth increase.

84) Terrorist Acts

Cale & co. detonating a bomb at Maple Castle.

85) Theft

Cale obtaining the blood drinking crown.

86) Threats to Inflict Serious Injury

Cale & co. threatening King Bakehe.

87) Threats to Kill

Cale cheerfully informing Adin he's going to personally kill him.

88) Torture and Interrogation

Cale ordering Beacrox to deal with the Magic Spearman.

89) Unauthorized Access to Restricted Data

Cale & co. coming to the Directory. ...Yes Bud was the Mercenary King so technically it was legal, except from the Mercenary Guild's perspective, it was break and entering.

80) Unlawful Assembly

Cale hanging out with Dragons.

81) Unlawful Oaths to Commit Treason

Cale promising to destroy the Alchemy Belltower to Rei Stecker.

82) Unlicensed Driving

Cale riding Dark Tiger Alberu.

83) Willful Damage

Cale employing Archie to destroy Duke Sekka's statues.

Any other crimes I forgot to list? Let me know!

***

BONUS CONTENT

With the help of others, we've expanded the original list of Cale's crimes!

84) Aiding and Hiding Fugitives

Cale helping out Hannah and Jack.

85) Aircraft Hijacking

Cale & co. taking over the Empire's airships.

86) Being an Accessory to Crimes

All Cale's deals with Billos in a nutshell.

87) Child Labor Law Violation

Cale making children work for their meals. Even if he's actually just adopting strays under the guise of formal work, said formal work is still illegal. Just admit you care, you weirdo.

88) Defamation

Cale spreading recordings of Adin being evil acros the Empire.

89) Deliberate Damage and/or Destruction of Currency

Cale happily throwing coins into lava.

90) Ecoterrorism

Wiping whole islands off the map counts as severe destruction of the environment.

91) Fly-tipping/Littering

Cale casually defenestrating Adin. Watch where you throw garbage, Cale. There are trash bins for a reason!

92) Harassment

Cale ordering Beacrox to beat up mountain bandits.

93) Illegal Detention/Imprisonment

Capturing prisoners of war, like the Dragon Half-Blood or the Flame Dwarves.

94) Illegal Goods Trade

Cale selling and buying items at the Caro Kingdom Auction.

95) Impersonation

Cale pretending to be different people in the Indignity Test.

96) Intentional Destruction of Cultural Heritage

Cale setting the Lake of God's Tears on Fire. Also, blowing up the Magic Tower.

97) Plunder of Public Property

Cale & co. destroying the walls of the capital of the Empire.

98) Trafficking Endangered Plants Accross Borders

Cale transporting the Fake World Tree in his badge.

99) Treason of the Crown

Cale treating his Hyung-nim with utter disrespect, such as comparing the Shining Sun of the Kingdom to a squirrel.

100) Trespassing

Cale in Endable Kingdom.

BONUS BONUS CONTENT

Not technically illegal, but:

101) Crime Against One's Well-Being

Cale abusing his health in such horrific ways even a regeneration power cannot keep up with him.

102) Crime Against Fashion

Cale preferring only black and plain clothes when he could look good in anything.

103) Crime of Self-Delusion

Cale thinking he still has a chance at slacker life.

104) Spreading Misinformation

Cale's track record of causing misunderstandings everywhere he goes is frankly terrifying.

105) THAT FACE

Cale's fabulous looks are a crime in of itself. It deserves a spot on the list.

[cottonlemonade]

Fake Dating [part 1]

word count: 1957 || avg. reading time: 8 mins.

pairing: post-time skip!Asahi x chubby!Reader

genre: fluff, slice of life, pining

warning: spoilers

request: fluffy-spicy, fake dating with crush

Asahi was barely listening to what his dad was talking about. In between bites of pork cutlet, he threw glances across the room to you, his eyes following almost in a trance as you weaved through the many tables without spilling a single crumb or drop from the plates and bowls balanced on your arms. With a perfectly practiced customer service smile, you engaged in polite small talk with the regulars of Miyagi before you were called back to the kitchen to pick up the next order.

Asahi pursed his lips in thought at the Tokyo Curry Bun shirt that bulged a little over the waistband of your jeans, wondering if this was simply a pick-up at a thrift store or if you could possibly live in the capital as well. From the way the locals bombarded you with questions, it didn’t seem like you were the usual waitress.

“Your food’s getting cold.”, his dad noted with a knowing smile, and lightning fast reflexes secured him an end piece of his son’s tonkatsu. Mrs Azumane, to their right, clicked her tongue in loving disapproval and placed half an egg in Asahi’s bowl in turn, joking, “Honey, don’t steal his food, he’s still growing.”

His dad jumped at the opportunity, “Any more and he’ll need a two-story home just to stand up straight.”

Both parents laughed. Asahi had heard that line a million times, so he just ignored it, choosing instead to carefully chew a piece of pickled radish while his gaze kept pulling in your direction.

“Why don’t you just ask her out, son?”

“What?”

“That waitress. It’s easy, I’ll show you.”

“Dad, what are you doing?”, Asahi asked, panic rising in his voice as his father lifted his hand and called, “Over here!”

You turned your head to scan the small room for who had tried to get your attention and put on a fresh smile when you made your way to them.

This wasn’t happening. Asahi saw his life flash before his eyes.

“Excuse me, Miss.”, Mr Azumane began good-naturedly, “My son had a question.”

He gestured to him with an expectant grin, and Asahi hoped his face wasn’t as red as it felt.

“Another glass of water, please.”, he said.

Looking a little perplexed, you nodded and were about to go back to the kitchen for his order when his father interjected.

“Wait, please.”, and under his breath, still plenty loud enough for you to hear, he said to his son, “Asahi. Come on. Just ask her out.”

“Quick and easy like taking off a bandaid.”, his mom added.

While the horror that both of his parents were actively pushing their fully grown adult son to ask out a girl in front of them made it impossible for him to speak, a middle-aged man came up behind you.

“Is everything alright here?”, he asked and looked from the patrons to you. He wiped his hands on the black apron wrapped around his middle, seemingly having just come out of the kitchen.

“More than alright.”, Mr Azumane boasted, “My son was just about to ask your waitress for her number.”

“Is that so?” The newcomer looked Asahi up and down as much as he could while he was sitting in front of him - although, even then, he was almost as tall as the chef.

“Well, sweetie, don’t be shy. Give it to him.”

“Dad.”, you sighed.

“What? He’s grown up handsome. And you know the Azumanes! They lent us their wheelbarrow when we redid the garden shed for your fifth birthday, remember?”

You bit back the remark on your tongue (you mean, two whole decades ago?).

“You know where he should take you?”, Mrs Azumane said excitedly, leaning over the table and tapping a finger on the plastic water bottle in the center, “There is this uhm - argh, what was it, honey? Like a- a Chinese-fusion restaurant that opened in Sendai.”

“Ah, good idea!”, Mr Azumane agreed, “And I think there is a park with a fountain nearby where you can take a walk after. And no need to hurry back, you two.”

At this point, you wore a blank expression, listening to the unbridled enthusiasm of the parents, searching for some kind of hidden camera that would explain this absurd exchange.

“If you’re still unsure,”, Mr Azumane said and turned his body to his son, but keeping eye contact with you, “look at this!” His hand went to grab Asahi’s upper arm, “Look how strong he is.”

“Give him your number.”, your father pushed gently as if you were a toddler too scared to ask a shop owner for ice cream, “If you don’t remember it, I can give it to him.”, then he muttered to himself while patting his pockets for his phone, “I think there were two fives in there.”

Luckily, saving you from any further comment on the helpfulness of that info, the next round of guests arrived, and you bowed to the Azumane family before hurrying over to greet the new customers.

You stepped outside into the cool evening breeze and took a deep breath. The small restaurant always became so stuffy after a while, the air thick with the smell of spilled beer and smoke clinging to people’s jackets from a quick cigarette break.

A couple of moths fluttered around the warm lightbulb above the entrance, and besides the occasional laughter or call for another drink, nothing disturbed the peacefulness of the countryside. Coming back after spending years in Tokyo, the silence of Miyagi was almost eerie. There was always noise in Tokyo, morning, noon, and night, all hours of the day. Hectic, loud, urgent noise, but here time seemed at a standstill. Since the restaurant was at the edge of town, you could look out into complete darkness that was sparsely dotted with occasionally flickering street lamps. Crickets chirped nearby, a cat sauntered down the sidewalk, quiet as a shadow, and after a while, a lonely truck traveled along the dirt road on the other side of the rice paddies. The sweet smell of wild wisteria that wafted over mixed with the residual smoke from the overfilled ashtray by the door and spelled nostalgia. It reminded you of the many afternoons helping your parents after school and during time off from university.

You closed your eyes for a moment.

Only a few more days before you had to go back to the city, and, while you couldn't wait to see your friends again, the quick Miyagi detox always did wonders for your creativity. It was amazing how many panels you got done this week.

“Hey.”, a calm voice said behind you, but it made you jump a little nonetheless, “Sorry!”

When you turned around, it was the guy from before, the one your parents were practically planning a wedding for already.

“Nono, all good.”

He had his jacket bundled in his hand and his long brown hair, previously falling quite majestically over his shoulders, was now tied to a neat bun.

You felt his eyes studying you before he said, “Sorry about earlier.”

“Don’t worry about it.”, you said genuinely and then gave a low sigh before shrugging, “Parents.”

You figured his mother and father were still finishing up inside, probably falling into the typical small-town small talk that could last anywhere between five minutes and three hours.

To fill the silence that followed, you asked, “Hey, you went to Karasuno, right? And played Volleyball?”

He nodded, surprised.

“I saw your game where you crushed Oikawa’s team.”

“Oh, you went to Aoba Johsai?”

This time it was on you to nod, “I went with a friend to cheer on her little brother. Takahiro?”

“Ahh, Hanamaki. The second ace, right?”

You raised your hands in defense and grinned apologetically, “If you say that, I’ll believe you. I have no idea about Volleyball.”

He smiled and turned to look at the night sky as he said, “Man, that game was what - six years ago?”

His wistful expression led to your next question, “Do you still play?”

“Oh, no. That was my last year, actually. Volleyball is great and all, and I love it, but I was never as passionate about it as the other players.”

“Then- what do you do now?”

You had meant it in terms of hobbies, but he replied, with a hint of pride, “I’m a fashion designer.”

“Oh wow! - And here I am still trying to figure things out.”

“What do you do?”

“Nothing nearly as cool as fashion design. After uni, I took a job at a publishing company to help me get a leg up in the industry and, well, I’m still there.”

“What do you want to do?”

You folded your hands behind your back and leaned against the railing separating the sidewalk from the road, facing the entrance of the restaurant where he stood. The metal with the chipped paint was still a little warm for the day’s earlier sunshine.

As you looked at the guy, wondering if you should really just tell your life’s dream to a total stranger, your mouth was already way ahead of you.

“I’d love to have a little bookstore. Somewhere people can come after work or studies to relax. A manga café would be ideal, honestly. I’d have ramen and snacks and cakes on the menu, and cozy reading nooks you can crawl into with a whole bunch of pillows. I could even sell my own comics, and maybe once a month I could have a movie night there for the customers.”, you met his eyes again and straightened, slightly concerned about yourself just spilling the beans to anyone who’d ask. To save what little was left of your mystique, you added, “Or something like that. I haven’t really thought about it that much.”

“Clearly.”, he said as a small smirk came to his lips.

With a lazy kick, you sent a pebble rolling into the small gap between two planters next to the door.

He really did seem like a sweet guy.

“Hey, so… did my dad ever give you my number?”

“Oh, yeah, uhm.”, he put a hand in his pocket to produce a neatly folded napkin.

“But I was gonna throw it out.”

You grinned teasingly, “Why? You don't want my number anymore? We could grab some coffee once we’re back in Tokyo.”

His eyes widened, and his lips parted in shock, and he was apparently at a loss for words. You waited, but he didn’t say anything. A quick pull of disappointment you hadn’t expected yanked at something in your stomach.

You must have misunderstood, you thought, and swerved, “As friends, I mean. And if you want, we can just tell our parents that we’re dating so they stop trying to set us up with random strangers.” You laughed kind of awkwardly, while he still just gaped like an admittedly adorable fish.

To downplay your nerves at having so spectacularly failed at flirting, you said brightly, “Text me, okay?”

Even in the dim light, you saw his cheeks blushing - probably in secondhand embarrassment - as he nodded and then, before he could say anything else, he was pushed out of the way by the opening door behind him.

“Ah, there you are! You ready to- oh! Did we interrupt something?” It took his dad exactly 3 seconds to get back to his matchmaking ways.

“Nope, nothing at all. Let’s go.” The guy ushered his parents down the sidewalk towards their car.

You watched as he opened the doors for his tipsy mom and even tipsier dad before getting into the driver’s seat himself - not before he paused for a moment and gave you a small dorky wave that had you giggle to yourself.

a/n: request for @sillytoya

the biggest thank you to @haikyu-mp4 for lending her brain to figure this one out

[part 2]

[frenchkisstheabyss]

| Pairing | husband!felix x chubby!fem!reader

| Genre | fluff & smut but make it apocalyptic

| Summary | A rouge planet's headed into our solar system, charting a course toward Earth with an 80% chance of collision. As the end grows near you indulge in a few final precious moments of intimacy with your husband.

| Word Count | 1.1kish

| Warnings | unprotected sex but, like, honey it's the apocalypse. a possibility of utter extinction...maybe. the ending is ambiguous because I'm a softie, sue me.

| A/N | I happen to be a retro sci-fi flick nerd, a K-pop nerd, and a hopeless romantic so this is how it manifested. As always, I hope you guys enjoy it 🖤

Extending your arm straight out in front of you, you flex the muscles in your hand. Wiggle your fingers in the ultraviolet wisps that drift through the air and make your wedding ring look like a tiny galaxy, a precious diamond sprinkled with stardust. The Earth is tinted a weathered blue and so are you.

So are the flowers that hug your bare feet as you stand in the back garden of your summer cabin. So are the tomatoes. The radishes. The carrots. The peppers. You can’t help but wonder if this is how the fish at the aquarium feel. Trapped in a blue gradient prison with nowhere to run, haunted by the knowledge that, no matter where things began, this is where it ends.

Your husband quietly approaches your side, twirling a daisy plucked from a nearby field between his fingers. He brings his arm around your waist, gently caressing the plush of your side. You exhale the breath that’s been trapped inside your chest, your body soothed by his touch even on the brink of the apocalypse. Felix tucks the flower behind your ear. It’s blue too. Like him. Like you.

Only it seems to glow and so does he but that’s the way it’s always been. Long before a rogue planet, starless and orphaned, came hurling into our solar system Felix glowed and everything he touched did too. Including you. “How much time left?” you ask, losing yourself in the longing of his gaze. The tips of his fingers delight in the softness of your skin as he cradles your cheek, “With you? Never enough.” 

Felix smiles, oh, that smile, and the corners of your mouth curve to mirror his. A moment of serenity, of normalcy, precious but fleeting. In the distance lightning strikes like you’ve never seen it before. Chased by a fierce rumbling in the clouds, it makes the tiny hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Felix clasps your face, grounding you as he kisses you with every bit of love within him.

If this is it, the last moment that he gets with the woman at the very center of his universe, he has to spend it with his lips pressed to yours. His tongue swirls around yours, penning every love letter not yet written on the inside of your cheeks. Lightning strikes again but this time you don’t see that sharp white light crackle through the sky. You don't hear the foreboding rumbling of the sky. Falling deeper under his spell, you’re numb to everything but him.

“Felix” you whisper, your breath chilling the thin layer of moisture on his bottom lip, “Could you do something for me?” “Anything,” he says, meaning it more than you know. “Make love to me…here…like the first time. I just…” He pulls you back into the kiss, cutting your explanation short. There’s no need to explain or to appeal to him. He remembers, exactly as you do, the first weekend he brought you here. How special it was.

You’d been together for a month then, not even official. Felix never invited anyone out to the cabin with him. Tucked away in the heart of a picturesque forest with no neighbors for miles, this was his quiet place but it never felt utopian until you came. The garden had been your idea and it was here, together beneath the rising sun, that you made love for the first time. How serendipitous that it should be your last. 

By the time your body’s nestled in the lush grass, you’ve plucked each other’s clothes away like the petals of a flower, leaving them sprinkled around the garden. Seeing you stare up at him, your gloriously curved body bare for him, has him reciting quiet prayers that he has enough time to indulge in every bit of you. For Felix, it’s not about the end. Not about chasing some high or crossing a finish line.

It’s about the gasp you just took when he kissed your neck, nibbling at it with just the right amount of pressure. It’s about the way you grip his hair at the root when his tongue traces your collarbone, massaging his scalp as his mouth meets your pillowy breasts, his tongue twining around your delicate buds. “I love you” he repeats, his professions muffled by hungry mouthfuls of your breasts. But you hear him. You feel him.

Kneading the squish of your belly. Parting your thighs. Swiping his fingers between the silky lips of your pussy. Rolling your clit beneath his thumb. You feel all of it. “I love you too. I love you. Ah…” you whine, something shifting in the air as two fingers ease into you, twisting and curling in response to every faint quivering of your walls. Craving the taste of you, he dips his head between your thighs, drinking the nectar that trickles from you like a stream, making him salivate as the flavor awakens his taste buds.

The rush of euphoria that washes over your body is unyielding, intensifying with each flick of his tongue and bend of his wrist. The world around you is quieter than before, the angelic sounds spilling from your lips the only thing Felix can hear. The only thing he cares to hear. A particularly desperate whine signals to him that the tension within you is ready to snap. “Mmm, not yet” he hums, licking his way up your body, leaving a trail of your juices behind.

Just enough remains that when your mouth parts to welcome him, you can still taste yourself on his tongue. “Felix!” you cry out, the nearly undetectable vibration of the ground coinciding with his length thrusting into you. For a moment, he doesn’t move, he just stays still, basking in the moment, throbbing as you squirm around him.

One of the starry ultraviolet wisps floats into your line of vision. You watch it pass with a strange sense of wonder. “I guess it’s like you always said,” Felix says, his hips rocking back and forth, driving you further and further toward your high with maddening intensity, “You and me to the end of the world.” You nod, the calmness of his voice bringing a certain peace to your mind, “To the end of the world.”

An 80% chance of collision. What that’d do to the human psyche no one could’ve predicted. Somewhere out there cities are crumbling. Lovers are becoming enemies and enemies are becoming lovers. People are bargaining with their gods or cursing them. The world is unraveling. And you?

Well, in your own way, you are too, your back arching and your eyes falling closed as you’re pushed beyond your limits, endorphins flooding your bloodstream. “To the end” he whispers, his arms around you once more, your face buried in his chest. 

To the end…

The end…

The End?

[tsuiioku]

hi muse! could you possibly write a dazai oneshot where he takes care of the reader after a hard day? lots of angst please. thank you! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖊, 𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖐 𝖆𝖙 𝖒𝖊 「𝔬𝔰𝔞𝔪𝔲 𝔡𝔞𝔷𝔞𝔦」 ༉‧₊˚

content. gn!reader. hurt no comfort, death of a child (not your child), ambiguous unhappy ending, mourning. not proofread.

author's note. i highly suggest reading this with laufey in the background. i accidentally made myself cry a bit.

would you like to see more? fill out the taglist or comment under this post.

The buzz of infectious energy that normally surrounded the agency had abandoned the hearts of each individual, leaving in its wake a trail of mindless typing and mournful sighs. An unrelenting clock ticked onward. It had started as an average morning, with some agents assigned to a simplistic mission regarding another dangerous ability user. The same old routine. However, something was different — something had gone awry.

In the events of the morning, a child had been killed in the crossfire.

You couldn't help but remember the expression of the parents, watching sorrowfully from the windows above as Kunikida broke the news. Your trembling fingers closed the window and pushed the others away as the mother's hollered cries echoed across the street, wailing for a life that had been lost too soon. 

The rest of the hours had been a complete blur, your numb mind forcing you to follow the routine as it hazed in synchrony with the pouring rain above. You wanted to embrace that rain, to feel the water slick the hair against your neck as it chilled your skin. To feel your brain blank as lightning scattered in the sky, to lay in the puddles as you succumbed to the storm. But there was no time to grieve a life that had barely intertwined with yours, one that had crossed paths with your own by sheer coincidence. 

Still, you couldn't help the occasional quiver of your lips, biting back the urge to scream into that same storm but not having the strength to even try. And so you carried on, your body working mechanically as your mind strayed far away. It needed to be a normal day — if you just pretended it was, then it would be. The hours ticked by, blurred footsteps blending together until you found yourself inside the kitchen you shared with Dazai — the young detective stood and watched carefully from the entrance of your apartment.

"I'm gonna start dinner. Do you want crab or-"

"Stop."

You paused as you were rustling through the ingredients, his stern tone rattling your already cracking foundation.

"(Name), look at me."

An invisible hand squeezed at your throat, any words that you tried to muster failing to leave your lips as your eyes scrambled to find something to save you from looking at him. You wouldn't look at him; you couldn't. It would break you.

"I don't - I don't think we have enough radishes left. I'll have to - have to go to the store." You pivoted on your heel, the door feeling too far as your footsteps pounded heavily against the floor. You refused to look at him. "I'll be back home in a bit."

"(Name)." A bandaged hand caught your own.

"Stop pretending you're okay."

You struggled to swallow down your shattered heart, the jagged edges painfully scraping against your throat as it clung to the air. Hands gathered your own — warm hands that kneaded and pressed circles into your cold, shaking ones. You trembled at his gentle touch, your heart yearning to succumb to his comfort as your mind prayed that he would slap you out of your emotional stupor. But he would never do that. Not now. Not to you.

"Baby," his voice shook ever-so-slightly. "Look at me."

A soft touch brushed against your chin, slowly tilting your head so that your matching pairs of somber eyes could meet. Your lashes fluttered stubbornly, but you were unable to hold back anymore as your heart leaked from inside your chest. You leaned into him, hiding your face from the rain.

"It's not fair," you croaked.

He brought you in further by the waist, nestling his nose against the crook of your neck as he held you tight. He kissed your shoulder with firm protectiveness, but even you could feel the way his lips trembled against your skin. The dreary weather worsened out the window, enveloping you both in a reality neither of you wanted to accept. And in that sorrow, you stayed, knowing that there was nothing you could do.

"I know."

© MUSAMORA 2023 — do not repost or modify my works for any reason. do not steal graphics w/o explicit permission. reblogs are appreciated.

[michamo]

Sowing seeds in January

In January, many gardeners start sowing their seeds indoors on the windowsill.

Sowing seeds indoors has many advantages: First of all, sun-loving vegetables such as chillis, tomatoes, peppers or eggplants tend to grow more slowly than other vegetables such as lettuce, radishes, carrots etc.

You can therefore start the sowing in the first month of the year so that you can plant them out in time for the summer season.

In addition, earlier sowing can lead to an earlier harvest, which in turn leads to better yields at harvest.

However, sowing indoors can be a major challenge. Some plants need more soil then others when sowing, and there are plants, that require certain temperatures and lighting to grow as a plant. Otherwise they will grow weak and cannot survive outdoors.

You will need following materials for successful sowing:

- good sowing soil

- planting tops materials like empty toilet rolls, old vegetable container with holes or quick pots

- heating mat for sun-loving vegetables like chillis, tomatoes etc.

- good lightning at the windowsill or plant lamps (optional)

[bluecottenswab]

Ororon x N!by/n

Warnings⚠️

None

Btw Ororon is around his early twenties to mid twenties.

—————————————————————————

This was rushed and is very short. This is the worst oneshots I've done. Ngl don't read. I was trying to get it done because I have 3 projects due tomorrow😭😭😭

__________________________________

YOUR POV

Rain hit the windows outside of my house, thunder clapped near by. Staring at the lightning, my parents spoke of monster that would appear every storm, beautiful monsters. Ones made out of clouds. Tears ran down my face, my puffy eyes turning red. Today had been one of my worst days. It felt like the gods were punishing me. My husband was with Granny Itztli. It was 23:10 pm (11:10 pm) and the fatigue was growing on me. Knowing he wouldn't be back for a little, I ran out of the house. I walked down to a near by pond near our house. I stare at the fish. I let the rain soak my clothes. Calm wash's over me, the moon shining a dim glow through the clouds. The temperature around me starts to turn cold. Looking up I see that rain has stopped. 

"Hrmh"

Huh? I look over and see Ororon's pet flying squirrel rubbing against my leg. 

"Oh buddy, why you out here in the rain?"

Wrapping the squirrel in my jacket and take it inside. 

"For some reason you are making my day a lot better"

I giggle. Laying back on the bed, I let the squirrel get comfortable on my pillow. Pulling out a book and lighting some incense, I get comfortable in bed. I finally start to feel tired. The night of Natlan putting me to bed.

HOUR LATER 

NO ONE POV

Ororon steps into the garden, checking on how the radishes are doing. The stars shining a dim light on the world. Ororon enters the house, greeted by the smell of incense. Ororon moved quietly, not wanting Y/n to get mad at him for being late. Walking into the bedroom, he is met with Y/n wrapped in a fluffy blanket, with his squirrel next to her head.  Setting down the books Citlali had given him. Changing into his night wear, Ororon gets into bed. Y/n stirred, eyes opening.

"Ororon?"

"Sorry I came home late"

"You're okay, just glad you're back."

Climbing under the covers, Ororon embraces Y/n. The bad day does away. The three cuddle. Ororon, Y/n, and the squirrel.

[fantasyfan20]

HEYOOO HAPPY FRIDAYYY!!! I hope everyone has had a good week! Here’s da next part of my Little Prince series! This one is quite sad, but also thought provoking. I hope I’m able to do it justice.

The Prince and His Rose

The Little Prince sat in the garden of Starlight Desert, thinking about his friend the Rose. He’d been spending so much time with his new friends over the past few weeks, he’d forgotten to make time for her. He felt terrible.

He didn’t want to be like the grown-ups who neglected their friends. His new friends were a welcome change, but he needed to remember to spend time with the Rose too. He furrowed his brow, frustrated that he had treated his best friend this way. Before he could spend another minute berating himself, the Prince decided to focus on something else. Plants of darkness had started to grow around the garden, making it seem a little dismal. He knew his friends would be able to make them go away, though. Everything would be alright. The darkness would leave his lovely garden, and he would spend more time with the Rose. There was no need to worry!

He looked up at the mountain once again, watching as it crackled with lightning. It seemed such a fearsome place, he thought. And yet the Children of this world had the courage to go there and get to the other side. He wondered what was on the other side of the mountain. A happy, peaceful place like Daylight Prairie? Or was it a more lifeless version of the Wasteland, if such a thing was possible? This world held so many mysteries, hiding just beyond his reach. But they were not his to discover. That was a job for the Children of this world.

The Little Prince sat up and looked at the stars. Today, they were twinkling with sadness, trying to bring comfort to the lonely flower on the hill and the boy in the garden. The Prince appreciated their concern, as well as that of the Children. Just then, he heard a soft pitter-patter on the sand ahead of him. One of his friends came running up, seemingly concerned for him. This one was tall, wearing a navy blue cape and white pants, and his hair was rather unruly. He had always seemed a little standoff-ish to the Prince, but he still tried to make the most of his time with him.

The Little Prince stood up and held out his hand as his friend approached.

“Something curious stirs over there,” he said. His friend looked curious as he took the Prince’s hand. They walked through the garden to the gazebo. The Little Prince looked around at the flowers as they passed by.

“These flowers are short of air!” he told his friend. A look of concern passed over the other boy’s face, then he stopped when he saw the plant of darkness in front of him. The Little Prince watched as a strange look of fascination appeared on his face. This boy is full of mysteries, he thought. He walked closer as the boy started to burn the darkness away with his candle. Once he was finished, the Prince took his hand again.

“There are good seeds and bad seeds,” he said to his friend. He felt it was important for all of the Children to understand the nature of the world. They already knew that because of the eternal fight between Darkness and Light in their kingdom, but he wanted them to hear it from him too. To them, he was different from the Elders and other adults. He could understand their journey, their struggle.

“Bad seeds like baobabs can become a disaster if not tended early,” the Little Prince explained. His friend gave him a curious look as he continued to burn away the Darkness. He seemed almost unsure of what he should make of the Prince’s words.

“If it is a radish or a rose, one would let it grow wherever it might wish.”

The Little Prince wanted to impart his own wisdom, however small it may be, on his new friends. They deserved a fresh perspective. It would help to have one from someone outside of the kingdom. They walked around the garden a while longer as the Prince’s friend continued to burn the Darkness plants. The Prince looked at the flowers swaying in the breeze.

“These flowers remind me of my rose afar,” he said to his friend. The other boy glanced down at the flowers as if he had just noticed they were there.

“Flowers are tender,” the Little Prince explained. “Sometimes you need to shelter them from the wind.”

His friend glanced in the direction of the Rose. He fidgeted, curious as to what the Prince would say next.

“I listened to my rose when she grumbled, or boasted…or even sometimes when she said nothing.”

The Little Prince smiled at the memory of his Rose telling a vivid tale of one of the Fox’s many shenanigans.

“The time you spend watering your rose…is why they become so important.”

The Prince’s friend glanced at him as he burned another plant, curious yet also confused as to why he was imparting wisdom about a plant. He finished burning the last of the Darkness, then he and the Prince walked over to the gazebo to find the roses on the columns blooming! The Prince walked over to a column to admire them.

“These roses are beautiful,” he observed. “But they are empty.”

His friend stared in wonderment but kept listening as the Little Prince spoke.

“My rose is unique in all the world,” he said proudly. His friend nodded.

The Prince looked up at the stars. They were now twinkling with mirth and curiosity.

“My rose perfumed all my planet…”

He thought again of the rose and all she had done for him. She’d listened to him when he wanted to talk, talked when all he wanted to do was listen, and sat in silence in the moments where that was all they needed. She’d even come to another kingdom with him! The Prince reminded himself of all this as he looked back at his friend.

“My fox once told me…one sees clearly only with the heart,” he told his friend. The boy looked thoughtful as he took in the Prince’s words.

“Anything essential is invisible to the eyes,” the Prince added. He looked up at the stars once more, and the bright beam shooting into the sky like a beacon of light.

“The stars are beautiful because of a flower you don’t see…”

And with that, he left his friend to ponder his words. He felt confident that the boy would visit again soon. In the meantime, he would spend time with his best friend, the Rose.

That’s the end of this one! I love this quest, I feel like it adds another layer of depth to the Little Prince as a character. I’ve added a few of my OCs as the children the Prince has interacted with, it’s really fun!! I hope you enjoyed this one! I may do the next one this weekend, I’m impatient to get to the Eden quest, hehe

[bioerin]

4, 5, 20 pls if you're still doing the ask game :)

Hii!! 🌌

4. Whats your favorite feeling?

I think the feeling of finding a solution to a particularly difficult problem, just seeing everything slot in place mmm yeah that's a wonderful feeling.

5. How do you like to take care of yourself?

This is a difficult question. I don't really know. I keep living in a self-made system that keeps me maintained as a human being. I even include rest and relaxation as a part of that maintenance system.

But I think overall I enjoy creative activities, they tend to bring me a sense of calm. I guess this counts.

20. Tell us about a memory you keep close to your heart.

Ah, I do love the memory of my childhood home. It's not really a single event, but a very wonderful place, and the only things I have left of it are my memories, pictures, and a pebble from the nearby road there.

I am going to put a read more because I did go a little overboard talking about it, so see it under the cut.

(ask game)

I did live there up until I had to start school, and I did spend most, if not all, my school breaks there up until 10th grade. I played a lot outside, and there was always something to do.

In winter, I had my little plastic sleighs that I used to slide down a small hill. Sometimes, I just rolled down without them. If it was sunny, it was wonderful to see the glistening of the snow. It really did glitter all the way your eyes could see, and there was this absolute quiet all around. Snow angels were a wonderful activity, too. If it was warmer and the snow was wet, it was snowman time! Also, breaking off icicles and playing with them. If it was cold enough and the pond had frozen over, it was skating time! (With skates too big for me, but hey! It was cool!) (Tasting the snow and icicles was part of everything though). They also let me light fire in the wood stove (idk if this is the proper English term)!

Spring was another deal. In spring, I went outside to look for the first snowdrops and to spot the first butterflies. I also liked to watch the little stream come to life and bubble away!

Summers were amazing. When it was warm enough, I was allowed to set up a tent outside, and I loved to sleep there, right beside the house. It was also the time to monitor the development of frog babies in the pond and to hold the little tadpoles in hand to see them move. It was a whole event when the whole ground seemed to be full of tiny little frogs when they were finally ready to go their merry way. It was also a time to look for lizards! When it got hot enough, I could swim in the pond, but over time, the plant population in the pond expanded, and we decided to swim in inflatable pools or to bike to a nearby lake. Also, harvesting fruits and vegetables was cool. Strawberries, radishes, carrots, dill, blackcurrant, cherries, cucumbers... oof. And eating it fresh. If it rained, I sometimes went outside to jump in the puddles. It's a wonderful feeling to be soaking wet in the rain and then deciding to just jump in the pond to swim 100/10 experience. Thunderstorms were my favourite. Holed up in a house, grandma insisted on turning off all the electronics, and I was just sitting there with my cousins, counting seconds after lightning strikes before the thunder could be heard.

Autumn was cool, too. I used to rake leaves and jump in the piles. I was also allowed to set fire to the piles.

The house itself was very old, and all of the cousins, me included, believed my grandma when she said the ghost of our grandfather also lives there and watches over us. There were a lot of ghost stories going around, and walking around alone, the house was often creepy, even in daylight. Some of the rooms were especially scary. It was a whole event to wake your cousin up to accompany you to the bathroom during the night and to jump at every tiny little sound.

Overall, it was a wonderful time there, and I am so grateful for it.

[delightingintragedy]

Mars Correspondences

From Christian Astrology by William Lilly

(It is mostly word for word. I tried to format it to fit into a nice correspondence list, but the information itself is untouched.)

Zodiac: Aries is his Day-house, Scorpio is his Night-house. Exhaulted in Capricorn, Depressed in Cancer, Detriment in Libra and Taurus.

Nature: Masculine, Nocturnal Planet, in nature hot and dry, choleric and fiery, the lesser Infortune, author of Quarrels, Strifes, and Contentions.

Profession: Princes Ruling by Tyranny and Oppression, or Tyrants, Usurpers, new Conquerors. Generals in Armies, Colonels, Captains, or any Soldiers having command in Armies, all manner of Soldiers, Physicians, Apothecaries, Surgeons, Alchemists, Gunners, Butchers, Marshals, Sergeants, Bailiffs, Hangmen, Thieves, Smiths, Bakers, Armourers, Watchmakers, Botchers, Tailors, Cutlers of Swords and Knives, Barbers, Dyers, Cooks, Carpenters, Gamesters, Bear-wards, Tanners, Curriers.

Diseases: The Gall, the left Ear, tertian Fevers, pestilent burning Fevers, Migraines in the Head, Carbuncles, the Plague and all Plague-sores, Burnings, Ringworm, Blisters, Frenzies, mad sudden distempers in the Head, Yellow-jaundice, Bloodyflux, Fistulas, all Wounds and Diseases in men's Genitals, the Stone both in Reins and Bladder, Scars or small Pox in the Face, all hurts by Iron, the Shingles, and such other Diseases as arise by abundance of too much Choler, Anger or Passion.

Colour: Red colour, or Yellow, fiery and shining like Saffron.

Savour: Those which are bitter, sharp and burn the Tongue.

Herbs: The Herbs which we attribute to Mars are such as come near to redness, whose leaves are pointed and sharp, whose taste is caustic and burning, love to grow on dry places, are corrosive, and penetrating the Flesh and Bone with a most subtle heat: They are as follows: The Nettle, all manner of Thistles, Restharrow or Cammock, Devils-milk or Petty spurge, the white and red Brambles, the white called vulgarly by the Herbalists Ramme, Lingwort, Onions, Scammony, Garlic, Mustard-seed, Pepper, Ginger, Leeks, Dittander, Horehound, Hemlock, red Sanders, Tamarinds, all Herbs attracting or drawing choler by Sympathy, Radish, Castoreum, Aresmart, Assarum, Carduus Benedictus, Cantharides.

Trees: All Trees which are prickly, as a Thorn, Chestnut.

Beasts: Panther, Tiger, Mastiff, Vulture, Fox; of living creatures, those that are Warlike, Ravenous and Bold, the Castor, Horse, Mule, Ostrich, the Goat, the Wolf, the Leopard, the wild Ass, the Gnats, Flies, Lapwing, Cockatrice, the Griffin, Bear.

Fishes, etc: The Pike, the Shark, the Barbel, the Fork-fish, all stinking Worms, Scorpions.

Birds, etc: The Hawk, the Vulture, the Kite or Glead, (all ravenous Fowl), the Raven, Cormorant, the Owl, (some say the Eagle), the Crow, the Pye.

Places: Smith's Shops, Furnaces, Slaughterhouses, places where Bricks or Charcoal are burned or have been burned, Chimneys, Forges.

Minerals: Iron, Antimony, Arsenic, Brimstone, Ochre.

Stones: Adamant, Loadstone, Bloodstone, Jasper, the many coloured Amethyst, the Touchstone, red Lead or Vermilion.

Weather: Red Clouds, Thunder, Lightning, Fiery impressions, and pestilent Airs, which usually appear after a long time of dryness and fair Weather, by improper and unwholesome Mists.

Winds: Western Winds

Angel: Samael

Planetary Alliances: His Friends are only Venus; Enemies all the other planets.

Week Day: Tuesday

Correspondence posts for the other planets: [Sun] [Moon] [Mercury] [Venus] [Jupiter] [Saturn]

[jensownzoo]

Went ahead and harvested the two fennel that had bulbed up at all. I think there are six left in the raised bed behind the fence trellis. The fronds on these guys are HUGE. I'll use some of them and freeze the stems to flavor broths, but I think the chickens are going to have to devour the rest.

Also got two 3" beets and another harvest of snow/snap peas. The peas will get blanched for the freezer and the beets will get roasted and eaten in the next few days.

The lone sweet corn plant that sized up (the rest are working on it) has an ear forming. Here's hoping that it pollinated itself sufficiently. I may let it go to collect seed for next year.

The Chires Baby corn is doing very well in the containers with the DIY ollas (and the top from a guinea pig cage to keep critters from digging). The nasturtium are also liking it.

And these nasturtium are going nuts! This is one of the containers of ginger, which you can kinda see towards the back.

My flower hedge along the sidewalk this year containing bolted radish, borage, cornflower, and calendula (newly blooming). Also dill and cosmos that should be blooming by next week. In addition to all the bees that keep this patch constantly buzzing, there are also a lot of tiny wasps, ladybug larvae, lightning bugs, and much more hanging out. I think once the cosmos starts blooming I'll pull most of the radishes so the tomatoes behind this hedge can get more sun.

I must have used my old purchased calendula seed for the hedge because some of the flowers are orange like this one. All of my saved seed has turned out yellow. I'm going to mark these stems with tape so I can be sure to save seed from the orange blossoms. Just in case it breeds true (not familiar with calendula color genetics).

The yellow marigolds grown from seed saved from plants I got in the fall from the green waste dumpster backed by a mum that I also saved from the green waste dumpster (overwintered it by planting it in my raised bed and covering with straw). Between the marigolds and the liriope are some Russian wallflower transplants that I grew from seed I got at the library seed swap. It still needs to grow up. Free materials + time and labor = free plants Woo-hoo!

And speaking of free plants, the monstera that I pulled out of the green waste dumpster as stems-with-roots and repotted is starting to send up new leaves. So it looks like it will recover. Once it has fully leafed out, I'll probably move it indoors to be a houseplant again.

Otherwise in seed starting news, all three varieties of cucumbers are emerging now as well as the San Marzano tomatoes and I think the Thai lemon basil. I got the second part of the seed shipment from the seed library, so I'll be starting a few more things this week, including some zucchini.

But tomorrow I'm really going to have to do something about putting doors on the exclusion cage of my raised beds in back. Two of the developing poblano peppers were chewed and spit out last night. It sprinkled most of the day today, but tomorrow is supposed to be clear (thus good for power tools) so I'll have to chance another night.

[alelelesimz]

tips for making combat as easy as possible in the switch zelda games? i get so nervous with every single monster and can barely play the game 🫣

oh babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy thank you for letting me yap about zelda this is my favorite thing to do!!!!!

i'm gonna talk about totk bc that's what i'm playing rn but if you're playing botw and something here doesn't really work, let me know and i'll help you out! i had strategies for every monster too. i'm also not talking about actual bosses so if you need help with any of those also let me know, they're all very easy once you understand their mechanics :)

if you're not good with flurry rush or parrying or any of those things, don't worry neither am i! so here's a list on how i brute force everything as efficient as i can!

careful, long ass post below :D

some little tips:

every monster has a mechanic, you just need to learn their patterns and repeat them a bunch

you can always pause to change your armor or weapon or heal and your inventory is huge so you can have a bunch of food that will help you

if all else fails, you can teleport yourself somewhere else and come back when you feel ready!

if there's a specific enemy that scares you too much, there's no shame in checking a map online to mark them in your game to avoid them

read what npcs tell you about monsters, they give you a ton of hints on how to fight many of them

if you're playing botw, stasis is an amazing tool! once you upgrade it you can freeze creatures for a bit which is very useful. also great to detect if a decayed guardian is still alive or if a big rock is actually a talus

if you're on totk, you can also detect monsters like taluses and evermeans with the camera!

other tips: if you know all of this skip to where i start talking about monsters

FOOD: very important! what makes zelda so easy is that you can literally pause at any moment and fill your hearts. and you don't really need to be a chef you just need to know what ingredients do. if you add five of the same ingredient it will give you a better effect. here's an example of stuff i use often:

hylian tomatoes: a bunch of hearts

hearty truffles/radishes: max hearts + extra hearts

sundelions: restores gloom damage

mighty bananas: attack power

ironshrooms: defense

(in botw durians were the best fucking thing in the game bc they were so easy to farm. i miss them sm!!!)

etc. you can google this if you wanna learn more but basically always have some of these in your inventory for when you're going to attack monsters

ARMOR: in this playthrough i just maxed my champion's leathers, hylian hood and hylian trousers. they were easy (just time consuming) to upgrade and it's not bad for when you're getting hit.

other than that i'm trying to upgrade as much as i can the snowquill set so i don't get frozen, the flamebreaker set so i don't get cooked in the volcano, the desert voe set so i don't melt in the desert and the depths set so gloom doesn't destroy me. for electric attacks i just use the lightning helm and in another universe i would also upgrade the barbarian set bc of the attack but i will NOT be fighting a bunch of lynels absolutely fucking not.

remember to use the correct set when you're fighting elemental monsters btw! many times the elemental attacks literally won't hurt you at all if you have the set bonuses

other than that i don't really bother upgrading almost anything else bc it's annoying and not worth it! this is the only completionist thing i don't care about

WEAPONS (kinda useless for botw): FUSE 👏 YOUR 👏 WEAPONS 👏 monster horns are good for fusing, fusing weapons with other weapons is good too (especially the gloom ones so they don't hurt you!). i'm killing a bunch of talusses and flux constructs, the thing they drop is always good to fuse. go crazy with fusing! remember you can also fuse stuff to the master sword!!!

also remember to fuse stuff to your arrows!

bomb flowers: your absolute best friend (rip auto bombs)

eyes: hits monsters right on their weak points

chuchu jellies or elemental fruits: amazing for elemental monsters

puffshrooms: monsters have a harder time noticing you

gibdo bones: easy to get in the desert and add A TON of strength to your arrows (bad for melee weapons tho)

another thing is shields! i barely use them bc i'm bad at this game, so i have most of my shields fused to rockets!!! since revali's gale is gone (rip) this is what i use now to get out of a tricky situation or to avoid climbing a lot.

SAGES (also useless for botw): hot take but i actually like having them around, i only dismiss them when they get annoying but they're actually quite useful. they usually take down small monsters like keeses and octorocks before i even realize i'm being attacked and when fighting a big monster or a horde of monsters they help you take them down faster! mineru is the only one i never use

okay i can't think of anything else so here's my strategy for every overworld monster (not actual bosses like ganondorf)

MONSTERS!!

(if you're on botw you don't need to worry about frox, gleeok, constructs or gloom spawns btw, also remember stasis is your friend here and the champions abilities are amazing, especially urbosa's)

HINOX: [weak point: the eye] easiest monster to kill. just throw an arrow with an eye and you will hit it right in the eye lol. once it's down get a double handed weapon and long press the Y button to do that spin attack or do the fast attack with a spear weapon, that works too.

STONE TALUS: [weak point: ore on top or back] get underneath it and use ascent to get on top, then use a double handed weapon with a rock fused or something to make a hammer and hit it with the spin attack on the ore thing. for taluses with the ore on the back just spam arrows with bombs (not in the ones in the volcano caves tho they will explode in your face!!!!) for frost talus just throw a fire fruit at it to stun it fast and same for igneo talus with ice fruits. for battle taluses try to kill the bokoblins first if you can bc they're a nuisance, then ascend on the platform and hit it. oh and i just learned that if they throw their arm at you you can throw it back with Recall omg!!!!

MOLDUGA: [weak point: the belly] these bitches were so much easier in botw with auto bombs but worry not they're still pretty easy. they can't see you but they can hear your steps in the sand so all you have to do is get on top of any rock or building and throw something at the sand like an apple or something you won't miss. it will hear whatever you throw and come out of the sand to attack it, this is when you throw an arrow with a bomb at them to stun them. now just get close and hit it on the belly and that's it just get back on top of a rock when it goes into the sand again.

FLUX CONSTRUCTS: [weak point: the one different cube that moves around] for these guys Recall and Ultrahand are the tools you need. use Ultrahand to grab the weak point cube, if you miss it just keep removing any block you can grab. once you grab the correct one you will take apart the whole thing so just find the weak one and smack it as much as you can. for the one attack where it throws a bunch of cubes at you just run to the side so they don't hit you and then get on top of one and use Recall on it, it will bring you right to the weak point.

FROX: [weak point: the eye] for froxes you can do the same thing that you do with hinox where you throw an arrow at the eye but i find it easier to wait for it to inhale you kirby style and this is when you throw a bomb at it. it will stun it quickly and you have enough time to get on top of it and destroy the ores it has on its back. if it charges at you just fucking run to the side so it doesn't eat you.

GLEEOKS: [weak point: the three eyes] the scariest one so far but not that bad after you fight it. as always just throw an arrow with an eye at it but this time throw three as fast as you can! if you have a lynel bow that does x3 arrows that would be better but if not just spam eye arrows. like with any other elemental, fire against ice and ice against fire, but any eye is fine so don't worry if you don't have enough. once it's down hit it on one of the heads. if you can manage to kill it fast then yay you don't get to the hardest part but if not! it will fly up high and charge at you some elemental attacks:

frost gleeoks will throw some icicles at you, you can see where they fall so avoid them, then get on top of one and use Recall to go up high. also it's better if you don't have any flame weapons equipped at this moment cause they will melt the icicles!

flame gleeoks throw a big fireball, get the hell out of there so the impact doesn't hit you. this will create an updraft that will take you close to it

thunder gleeoks throw lightning at you, but before they hit you, you'll see some beams of light on the floor. avoid them and after they hit they also create an updraft that will get you up there

once near the gleeok just do the eye arrows thing again and it will fall down. they take fall damage so i usually just have to do this whole thing once!

LYNELS: not a boss thank god but probably harder. my strategy: avoid them :) but if you have to fight them: throw a puffshroom so it can't see you, once you're closer throw an arrow with an eye to stun it, then run to the back of it and mount it, once on top you can hit it five times so get the strongest fucking weapon you have! then repeat the whole thing until it's dead 🙏 it's better to fight them from up close cause they have pretty hard attacks when you're far away

GLOOM HANDS: RUN!!! jk (kinda) they can't climb anything so get on top of a platform or something and spam bombs at all the hands. don't wait too much tho cause the hands will reappear if you don't kill them all. then there's phantom ganon but i don't find it that hard? just hit him a lot and have some good food on you cause it does hit hard. i avoid these fuckers as much as i can bc they're too scary lol and not that worth it. the worst part is that they appear out of fucking nowhere so i always mark their location on the map and get the hell out of there.

people will tell you that phantom ganon and lynels give the best weapons which is true but i find them not that worth it considering how much i hate fighting them! so don't feel like you need to fight them if you don't want to

THAT'S IT I THINK??????? don't be scared remember that they all have very specific mechanics so just repeat the patterns and you will get rid of all of them super fast!!! if you need help with literally any other monster let me know! i actually love combat in these games cause it's pretty easy and many times very silly

[blues-of-randomness]

Hoppy Hopscotch headcanons

⚡ Familial relationship: Picky Piggy

⚡ Rival: KickenChicken

⚡ Autistic and ADHD

⚡ Her friends nicknamed her "the energizer bunny"

⚡ While being playful most of the time, Hoppy and Kickin can get so riled up fighting with each other that they actually throw hands. Luckily they walk away with just bruises and scrapes, the usual boo boos

⚡ secretly loves to cuddle

⚡ enjoys eating fruits and veggies (her favorite being apples and radishes)

⚡ All the critters have candy heart sown into their chests, her heart says "Go girl!"

⚡ Her necklace represents her seemingly endless energy and her electric personality. It might also represnt her just popping out of nowhere much like Lightning tends to do or how she can get her friends excited when she really wants to do something or lend her friends some of that energy when they're tired. pretty cut and dry with her necklace

⚡ she has three twin siblings named "Lucky", "Shamrock", "Thumpy"

⚡ She basically took care of her siblings while her parents were dealing with their own problems

⚡ a bit childish but it really only ever shows when she's playing or fighting with Kicken chicken

[tenjin-no-shinja]

Chapter 20: Three Rites for Ending and Beginning the Year

Susu Harae: December 29

When I ask what kind of impurities might possibly be lurking the shadowy corners of the upper rafters, I am told that since the priests are human and since many guests and worshipers have passed through in the course of a year, the harmful, selfish, or lustful thoughts towards others, the physical and mental illnesses, and the mistakes and sufferings and frailties might all have left a little "something" behind here in the shrine. And that is why, at the end of the year, it doesn't hurt to physically dislodge them. "But if you're going to knock them out of their corners," I ask, "what happens then? Aren't you worried that they will fall on you?" Senior Priest Ureshino just smiles. "That is why I have this hat on! And even if they do, we have the ritual of Great Purification two days later to take care of EVERYTHING." As the Japanese are fond of saying, Naru hodo! (Oh, so that's the way it is!)

—Page 200

Nanakusa (The Seven Herbs): January 7

"The drink of seven herbs will prevent a thousand illnesses." One by one the herbs are dropped into the cauldron: dropwort (seri), shepherd's purse (nazuna), cottonweed (gogyo), chickweed (hakobe), henbit (hotoke no za), turnip greens (suzuna), and radish greens (suzushiro). A Shinto-style rendering of a folk tradition (or is the folk tradition derived from religious practices?), the gruel serves as a sedative against the overindulgence of the New Year's feasting, drinking, and inactivity... "we have to serve it to the Kami first, and if it is deemed acceptable, then we'll pass it around."... And since the earth does not shake nor do the heavens send lightning or a flock of crows into the shrine grounds, the seven-herb drink is pronounced efficacious for all.

—Pages 210-211

[imexperiencinggrowthgetoverit]

List of all SDV and SDV:E (Stardew Valley: Expanded) Giftable Items

Horseradish

Daffodil

Leek

Dandelion

Parsnip

Cave Carrot

Coconut

Cactus

Banana

Sap

Large Egg

Egg

Milk

Large Milk

Green Bean

Cauliflower

Potato

Garlic

Kale

Rhubarb

Melon

Tomato

Morsel

Blueberry

Fiddlehead Fern

Hot Pepper

Wheat

Radish

Red Cabbage

Starfruit

Corn

Rice

Eggplant

Artichoke

Pumpkin

Bokchoy

Yam

Chanterelle

Cranberry

Holly

Beets

Ostrich Egg

Salmonberry

Amouranth

Pale Ale

Hops

Void Egg

Mayonnaise

Duck Mayonnaise

Void Mayonnaise

Clay

Copper Bar

Silver Bar

Gold Bar

Iridium Bar

Refined Quartz

Honey

Pickles

Jam

Beer

Wine

Juice

Clam

Poppy

Copper Ore

Silver Ore

Coal

Gold Ore

Iridium Ore

Wood

Stone

Nautilus Shell

Coral

Summer Shell

Spice Berry

Sea Urchin

Grape

Spring Onion

Strawberry

Sweet Pea

Common Mushroom

Wild Plum

Hazelnut

Blackberry

Winter Root

Crystal Fruit

Snow Yam

Sweet Gem Berry

Crocus

Red Mushroom

Sunflower

Purple Mushroom

Cheese

Goat Cheese

Cloth

Truffle

Truffle Oil

Coffee Bean

Goat Milk

Large Goat Milk

Wool

Duck Egg

Duck Feather

Caviar

Lucky Rabbit’s Foot

Aged Roe

Ancient Fruit

Mead

Tulip

Summer Spangle

Fairy Rose

Blue Jazz

Apple

Green Tea

Apricot

Orange

Peach

Pomegranate

Cherry

Bug Meat

Hardwood

Maple Syrup

Oak Resin

Pine Tar

Slime

Bat Wing

Rusty Blade

Swirl Stone

Solar Essence

Void Essence

Void Pebble

Void Shard

Void Soul

Fiber

Battery

Dinosaur Mayonnaise

Roe

Squid Ink

Tea Leaves

Ginger

Taro Root

Pineapple

Mango

Cinder Shard

Magma Cap

Bone Fragment

Radioactive Ore

Radioactive Bar

Ancient Fiber

Bearberry

Conch

Dried Sand Dollar

Ferngill Primrose

Golden Ocean Flower

Goldenrod

Green Mushroom

Four-Leaf Clover

Monster Fruit

Monster Mushroom

Mushroom Colony

Poison Mushroom

Red Baneberry

Salal Berry

Slime Berry

Rafflesia

Sports Drink

Stamina Capsule

Thistle

Void Root

Winter Star Ross

Dewdrop Berry

Aged Blue Moon Wine

Blue Moon Wine

Aegis Elixir

Armor Elixir

Barbarian Elixir

Gravity Elixir

Haste Exilir

Hero Elixir

Lightning Elixir

Pufferfish

Anchovy

Tuna

Sardine

Bream

Largemouth Bass

Smallmouth Bass

Rainbow Trout

Salmon

Walleye

Perch

Carp

Catfish

Pike

Sunfish

Red Snapper

Herring

Eel

Octopus

Red Mullet

Squid

Seaweed

Green Algae

Seacucumber

Super Seacucumber

Ghost Carp

White Algae

Stone Fish

Crimsonfish

Angler

Icepip

Lava Eel

Legend

Sandfish

Scorpion Carp

Flounder

Midnight Carp

Mutant Carp

Sturgeon

Tiger Trout

Bullhead

Tilapia

Chub

Dorado

Albacore

Shad

Lingcod

Halibut

Lobster

Crayfish

Crab

Cockle

Mussel

Shrimp

Snail

Periwinkle

Oyster

Woodskip

Glacierfish

Void Salmon

Slimejack

Midnight Squid

Spookfish

Blobfish

Stingray

Lionfish

Blue Discus

Baby Lunaloo

Bonefish

Bull Trout

Butterfish

Clownfish

Daggerfish

Dulse Seaweed

Frog

Gemfish

Goldenfish

Grass Carp

King Salmon

Kittyfish

Lunaloo

Meteor Carp

Minnow

Puppyfish

Radioactive Bass

Razor Trout

Seahorse

Sea Sponge

Shiny Lunaloo

Snatcher Worm

Starfish

Torpedo Trout

Undeadfish

Void Eel

Water Grub

Dwarf Scroll 1

Dwarf Scroll 2

Dwarf Scroll 3

Dwarf Scroll 4

Chipped Amphora

Arrowhead

Ancient Doll

Elvish Jewelry

Chewing Stick

Ornamental Fan

Dinosaur Egg

Rare Disc

Ancient Sword

Rusty Spoon

Rusty Spur

Rusty Cog

Chicken Statue

Ancient Seed

Prehistoric Tool

Dried Starfish

Anchor

Glass Shards

Bone Flute

Prehistoric Handaxe

Dwarvish Helm

Dwarf Gadget

Ancient Drum

Golden Mask

Golden Relic

Strange Doll

Strange Doll

Prehistoric Scapula

Prehistoric Tibia

Prehistoric Skull

Skeletal Hand

Prehistoric Rib

Prehistoric Vertebrae

Skeletal Tail

Nautilus Shell

Amphibian Fossil

Palm Fossil

Trilobite

Emerald

Aquamarine

Ruby

Amethyst

Topaz

Jade

Diamond

Prismatic Shard

Quartz

Fire Quartz

Frozen Tear

Earth Crystal

Alamite

Bixite

Baryite

Aerinite

Calcite

Dolomite

Esperite

Fluorapatite

Geminite

Helvite

Jamborite

Jagoite

Kyanite

Lunarite

Malachite

Nepunite

Lemon Stone

Nekoite

Orpiment

Petrified Slime

Thunder Egg

Pyrite

Ocean Stone

Ghost Crystal

Tiger’s Eye

Jasper

Opal

Fire Opal

Celestine

Marble

Sandstone

Granite

Basalt

Limestone

Soapstone

Hematite

Mudstone

Obsidian

Slate

Fairy Stone

Star Shards

Fried Egg

Omelet

Salad

Cheese Cauliflower

Baked Fish

Parsnip Soup

Vegetable Medley

Complete Breakfast

Fried Calimari

Strange Bun

Lucky Lunch

Fried Mushrooms

Pizza

Bean Hotpot

Glazed Yams

Carp Surprise

Hashbrowns

Pancakes

Salmon Dinner

Fish Taco

Crispy Bass

Pepper Poppers

Bread

Tom Kha Soup

Trout Soup

Chocolate Cake

Pink Cake

Rhubarb Pie

Cookies

Spaghetti

Spicy Eel

Sashimi

Maki Roll

Tortilla

Red Plate

Eggplant Parmesan

Rice Pudding

Ice Cream

Bluberry Tart

Autumn’s Bounty

Pumpkin Soup

Super Meal

Cranberry Sauce

Stuffing

Farmer’s Lunch

Survival Burger

Dish’O’The Sea

Miner’s Treat

Roots Platter

Triple Shot Espresso

Seafoam Pudding

Algae Soup

Pale Broth

Plum Pudding

Artichoke Dip

Stir Fry

Roasted Hazelnuts

Pumpkin Pie

Radish Salad

Fruit Salad

Blackberry Cobbler

Cranberry Candy

Bruschetta

Coleslaw

Fiddlehead Risotto

Poppyseed Muffin

Chowder

Fish Stew

Escargot

Lobster Bisque

Maple Bar

Crab Cakes

Shrimp Cocktail

Ginger Ale

Banana Pudding

Mango Sticky Rice

Poi

Tropical Curry

Squid Ink Ravioli

Mushroom Berry Rice

Big Bark Burger

Flower Cookie

Frog Legs

Glazed Butterfish

Grampleton Orange Chicken

Mixed Berry Pie

Baked Berry Oatmeal

Void Delight

Void Salmon Sushi

[archer-antiope]

got to pull one of my favorite bits this weekend. i was telling my friend intricate plot details of why a certain character matched a certain taylor swift song (we both love taylor swift, but only i love d20) so she was nodding along and asking clarifying questions as i was explaining why the lyrics "Thought I caught lightning in a bottle/Oh, but it's gone again/And it was written/I got cursed like Eve got bitten/Oh, was it punishment?" and why this character was struggling so hard to find answers and where he fit in the world and she was like "wow, i'm really unfamiliar with this, but it sounds like it fits"

and then i got to reveal that the character in question was a radish