#like I lost all my school friends after I left the toxic group and was bullied and no one stood by me

[kitorin]

boyfriend headcanons ! itoshi rin

contents. how you met, how you got to know each other, when he realized he liked you, how you started dating, dates, all fluff

warning. rin backstory spoilers, i can't write kiss scenes either, written with all lowercase intended, it's word vomit bc school has screwed me up mentally and i can't think properly atp lmao

a/n. reo, rensuke and yoichi ver coming soon, was supposed to be all four of them but tumblr didn't save some stuff so i lost motivation and i probably wrote too much for rin anyways

how you met

you were invited to hang out with a group of friends, but ended up hating it since you were basically invisible, since everyone else were talking about a common interest you didn't have

you ended up walking away, finding somewhere actually interesting, and found a muji store (minimalist retailer that sells a lot of household items and more), and had your own fun, looking through stationary, skin care, nice clothes, and more.

you were having a great time until you heard someone from the hangout looking for you and calling

rin who notices your panic right next to him, questions what's wrong (not necessarily out of concern, honestly probably because he may have found it slightly irritating)

after you explain your situation briefly, he nods and finds you somewhere to hide, and goes to deal with your friend

he's got perfect control over his facial expressions, he'd easily lie and even if your friend was persistent, he'd still scare him away

"haven't seen them in here, they left a while ago and you better stop yelling,"

"are you sure-?"

"yes. now piss off and stop disturbing everyone here,"

once he's sure your friend's gone, he goes back to where he instructed you to hide, giving you the clear

"i hope that lukewarm asshole wasn't your ex."

you're slightly amused at the word 'lukewarm' it wasn't a typical description you'd hear often. "nope, i'd never date him. thank you so much though. i really appreciate it, please let me do a favor for you"

before he can object, you grab a sample pen, scrawling your number on his hand, "send me a text and i'll do my best to help you with anything okay?" you send him a smile as his eyes widen in shock, "bye kind stranger, have a great day," and before he could respond, you were gone, rushing out the store out of embarrassment for not being able to slip away from your friend uncaught.

how he got to know you

[unknown number] : i really don't need a favor you know?

i hated that idiot anyways, loud and annoying

[you] : don't careeee, i want to make it up to you somehow, please?

i'm y/n, you?

[unknown number] : rin, itoshi rin

after he gave in to your offer, you ended up tutoring him, he didn't care about grades but his high school had a rule of requiring a certain standard of grades to compete in tournaments

turns out he wasn't even a bad student, he's diligent and consistent, he only needed a little bit of guidance and advice, with math being the exception

in between sessions, during breaks and outside of your tuition you'd talk a lot, considering how rin has no friends ("neither do you, your toxic ass friends shouldn't count" he replies when you realize it) and you're patient enough to deal with his personality

even after he has his grades up you still hangout with each other, watching horror movies, playing horror games, reading horror novels / comics (you introduced him to junji ito), and he'd even teach you some soccer when you visit his training. he also tries out all your hobbies and favourite things to do and eat

you two spend so much time together, simply because one has no other friends and the other has no healthy friendships

how he knew he liked you

BRO WAS IN DENIAL. FOR. SO. FUCKING. LONG.

he thought he had a health problem or fever when he felt his face getting hot, or that odd sensation in his stomach, or his heart relentlessly pounding against his chest

he tries to research it, doesn't believe it when he sees all those love related posts, so he literally goes to a doctor

his doctor probably almost instantly realized, and had to deal with rin's denial

"you experience these 'symptoms' with a certain someone, don't you?" the doctor doesn't even bother with noting down anything, he's 100% sure and knows it's perfectly in character for rin to do something like this

"that's not possible- that doesn't make se-," he pauses, and recalls that he only felt that way when it came to you, "... yes," he's sort of bashful, slightly embarrassed but quickly composes himself again. 'i apologise for doubting you, please continue,"

"no worries," with a grin, his doctor prepared leave and meet his next patient, "i diagnose you with love sickness,"

when i tell you, this man fucking asked him what meds to take and what to do as self treatment

his poor doctor mentally face palmed himself, sat himself back down and had a (long) talk with this emotionally repressed boy

rin still insists it's something medically wrong, but he's soon shoo-ed out of the office, while hastily being told to make sure he's honest with his feelings, otherwise it never goes right

back at home, he's lying in bed, revising what his doctor said

"rin you need to learn how to acknowledge your emotions. i understand they're confusing and i'm not a therapist, but you can't keep denying it. it's just as unhealthy to neglect your emotions as it is to ignore an injury,"

...

denial huh?

he thinks of you and his heart once again can't calm down, his face burns and his stomach is doing somersaults. he buries his face in his palm, groaning. he hated anything unfamiliar, anything that he couldn't navigate with confidence, or fully comprehend.

"do you really despise it? or do you refuse to acknowledge your feelings because you've never experienced something like this,"

his doctor's advice comes back to him, and he thinks.

if he truly loathed how you made him feel, why is he still hanging out with you, why is he still investing his time into you, why do you make him so damn happy?

he passed out eventually completely lost in thought

how you ended up dating

some time passes and you finally have the courage to confess to him only to receive a cold "i don't feel the same way," a complete lie

accepting his emotions was one thing, accepting a relationship is another. he could immediately feel regret clawing at his stomach, he wanted to tell you. badly, how much he likes you, your patience, intelligence, your kindness, literally everything

yet nothing comes out. only his stoic and stupid facade's character

you walk away after mumbling out an apology for making things awkward, and rin's left there standing, finger nails digging crescents of frustration into his palm

he's overwhelmed with his thoughts, some insisting for him to give up and accept that he fucked up, others demanding him to move and fix things

what would be worse than losing you, anyways?

and that last thought was the final push, he's basically sprinting towards you, soon his arms are wrapped around you, releasing a gasp of surprise from you.

"ri-?"

"i lied," rin blurts, internally screaming at himself to just say it, "i lied, i know i shouldn't have and i'm sorry. but i like you too much, i can't express or understand my feelings, i don't know anything about relationships or love either, and i wanted to hide how i felt so i wouldn't get hurt,"

"rin-," he doesn't let you finish, ignoring your whisper.

"but i don't care, i like you so much that i'm willing to risk hurting myself, anything's worth it if i can be with you, spend time with you, and love you. if it's for you i'd overcome all my fears of love. i can't afford love, but if it's for you i don't care anymore,"

"you're perfect, you always have been," he concludes his speech, almost breathless from how rushed it was. scarlet was dusted all over his face, teal eyes wide open.

that fact rin, someone who's never been good at communication, went this far to express how he feels for you, warms your heart even more.

"rin?"

"yes?"

"may i kiss you?"

somehow, he blushes even more, and as he nods your lips press together.

dates + other headcanons

MOVIE NIGHTS !! not at cinemas though since he prefers the comfort and privacy of his room, and doesn't like how loud or dirty cinemas can get

doesn't want to force you into anything too scary, but he secretly enjoys it when you end up clinging onto him

since he struggles with articulating his emotions, he likes using playlists and songs to (die for you - weeknd, shinunoga iiwa - fujii kaze, love, maybe - melomance, sweet - cigarettes after sex, COME INSIDE OF MY HEART - IV SPADES SUITS HIM SO WELL)

he's not a fan of pda, yet he wants to show you off to everyone he knows

if you genuinely like soccer and have an interest in it (obviously doesn't want to force you to watch 90 minutes of a sport you don't like) he'd watch his favourite games with you, even books tickets for the both of you if there are any good teams competing nearby

also takes great interest in your sports !! reads a lot about them so he can discuss them with you, and if you also compete in sports he puts together a training routine for you and asks to go to the gym together (say yes dumbass)

SURFINGGGG !! since he grew up in kamakura, he loves the beach and went to swim and surf a lot as a kid and would love to do it again with you, even if he hasn't done it in ten years (same rin, same). same with hiking too (kamakura's also famous for it as well)

visits the store with you where he always bought ice blocks with sae, the same lady who worked there when sae and rin still got around is still there, congratulates him for getting a partner, is proud of him

he's a great listener too, he prefers it over speaking a lot and you can talk to him about anything, whether you're talking shit about someone (he'd join in and start swearing) and or you're hyperfixating on your interests

whenever he gets a question related to his love life he takes a moment to blush when he thinks of you, pauses to compose himself (keeps you a secret for your privacy from the media), then says with a straight face that soccer is a priority, but everyone knows he's lying

©kouyun : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate

[grampstaxidermy87]

Pretty boy

Part 2

Pairing: Poly!Lost boys x male!reader/ slight Michael x m!Reader

warning: 18+, heavy smut, oral, face sitting, blowjobs, anal, double penetration,manipulation, biting, blood consumption, group sex, turning, toxic obsession.

An:Hello my lovelies,so sorry for the hiatus! I have started a new semester in school and wanted to focus on that for a bit just to get a steady rhythm. As an apology I have written a nice smut for you all, if you’d like more of this storyline or another type then please feel free to request it!

“You want me to what?”

Michael sighed as he watched me dry my hair, his favorite scent of strawberry in the air as water dripped down onto the ripped t-shirt that I had stolen from him years ago, “My mom's busy and my bike doesn’t want to start, so I kind of need you to drive me to my friends place.” Tilting my head, I debated whether or not I should deny him.

Michael was my best friend, and I cared a lot about him. Probably more than my father would approve of…but lately he had been blowing me off to hang out with some biker gang. Plus, the fact that he’s overall been kind of douchey to me didn’t really make me want to help him, no matter how cute he looked right now with his leather jacket.

“I’m not sure Mikey, can’t your grandpa take you?” I said as I tried to fix up my hair, sighing when it still looked messy no matter what I did.

Michael stood up from where he was sitting on my bed, walking over he stopped once I was staring right at his chest. Forcing me to look up as he crowded my personal space, though that never mattered where either of us were concerned.

Michael grabbed my comb and hair gel from my vanity, Standing just out of view in the mirror.

My breath hitched when he reached up and began fixing my hair for me, I fought back the urge to melt when his cologne hit my nose. Breathing in I smiled slightly when I recognized it, He started wearing it after I mentioned liking it in passing. He didn’t know that I noticed…but I did.

I was so flustered the first time I noticed he used it...so the fact that he still did to this day made my heart soar.

Looking into my eyes I felt like I could die right then and there when his lips quirked into a smirk, giving me a wink that left me breathless.

“There, just the way I like it.” He said stepping back and allowing air to enter my lungs again.

Glancing in the reflection I smiled when I saw the finished product, the same style he’d always do when we hung out. No matter how many times I tried only Michael could get it to look this nice.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so flaky, and that I’ve been a complete ass to you. You didn’t deserve any of that.” His words stunned me, and I looked back at him to see he had his arms crossed with an embarrassed and ashamed expression as he stared at the carpet.

Speechless for what felt like hours I bit my lip and rubbed the back of my neck, while it did hurt Michael and I have known each other since diapers.

This guy knew things about me that no one else did, he was the only one I ever came out to. I loved him with every fiber of my being...and he didn't even know it.

Though I would rather die then tell him that, I wouldn’t risk so many years of friendship just to gross him out and make him hate me in the end.

“Please...don’t worry about it Mikey. I get it, you got new friends. So no hard feelings.” He shook his head as I tried to brush it off, ”I don’t want you to think I’m replacing you,(Y/n). No one could ever replace you, we have been through too much together. It’s just…a lot has been going on and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Softening I placed my hand on his arm, giving him a warm smile that he couldn’t help but to match. “Come on Man, you know me. It’ll take a lot to hurt me.”

He chuckled, "Yea I know, you always were the stronger one out of the two of us. In more ways than one.” He said teasingly taking my bicep in his hand and giving it a squeeze, eyes growing hazy when my heart skipped a beat...staring at my bare neck so intense that I thought he’d bite a chunk out.

Clearing my throat I turned my head away to hide my flustered face.

“S-So uh…should we stop to get drinks for your friends?” He forced a smile at my sudden change of subject and dropped his hand, clenching it at his side. “Sure (N/n).”

———

Hopping out of my truck I looked around with furrowed brows, “I thought you said we were meeting your friends here, this place looks abandoned.” I frowned as Michael merely laughed at my worry and grabbed the two cases of beer from the bed.

Walking around to join my side he nudged my arm with his,“We are, now come on scaredy cat.”

Sighing I tightened my grip on my keys and hurried after him, glancing around worriedly when I saw him climbing down the rotted stairs.

“Michael! Are you sure we should be going down here? There’s a bunch of no trespassing signs.” He stopped nearly causing me to crash into him, worried I looked up to see him lean down towards my face.

“Do you trust me?” He asked in a whisper, and I almost felt like I should say no just to tease him but the softness in his eyes made me falter. “Of course I do Mikey...I wouldn’t put up with you this long if I didn’t.” He chuckled and shook his head.

“Then trust me on this, nothing is going to hurt you while I'm around (Y/n). I promise.” With that he turned back and continued his descent. Taking a deep breath, I resisted the urge to turn around and run back to the truck.

“I am so gonna regret this…” I muttered to myself, following him into the wet cave.

“Boys I’m back!” Michael yelled out while I tried to carefully climb down the slippery rocks without falling on my ass in-front of Michaels friends.

Sadly, I was destined to be a complete fool. Just as I went to take that last big step my shoe slipped out from under me, Gasping I threw my hands out in an attempt to at least protect my face and waited for the incoming pain.

But it never came.

“Woah look guys! I caught a fallen Angel!” Strong arms held me securely as my face was pressed against a meshed fabric.

Looking up I felt my face burn up when I saw the handsome man who had caught me staring down with a devilish smirk, "How cute, you already fell for me babe." He winked making me gulp.

Standing up straight I immediately stepped out of his arms, confused as to why I felt a pull in my chest when he looked slightly disappointed.

"T-Thanks for catching me man." His frown was quickly replaced by a charming grin, "No problem, Angel. Couldn't let a pretty boy like you get hurt and ruin a face like that." The way he said that...entrancing eyes looking up and down my body. It should have made me self-conscious, but instead I kept thinking about the way his skin felt against mine.

"I appreciate it, I'm (Y/n). Michael's friend." He hummed, distracted by the way my lips moved. Taking my hand when I offered, he pulled me close and spoke lowly into my ear, "Names Paul, but you could just call me yours handsome."

Blushing I heard a throat clear pulling my attention away from the handsome blonde rocker.

Michael glared at Paul from his spot on the couch, a look I had never seen on him before covered his face. I could swear it looked like jealousy.

I felt guilty by how much that look affected me, as I shifted my jeans to try to ignore my drifting thoughts.

"(Y/n), come meet the others." He said and I began walking away from Paul, who licked his lips as he looked me up and down.

"Yeah Paul don't hog Mikey's friend, I want to meet the guy he’s been bragging about." A curly haired man with the face of a cherub approached me first, holding out his hand as he mimicked Paul's earlier actions. Blue eyes tracing over every curve before meeting mine.

"My names Marko, unlike twisted sister I am way cooler." Taking his hand I chuckled at his teasing remark, He shot the others a cocky look for having made me laugh first.

"It's nice to meet you Marko, I love your jacket by the way." His smile widened as he shifted the jacket, " Thanks man, I sewed it together myself!" Proudly showing off his hard work, he twirled around to allow me to look over all the patches and details.

"That's amazing! I wish I could make something that cool." He rubbed his neck as he suddenly became shy, "I could teach you sometime if you want?" I nodded enthusiastically, "I would love that." We stood there for a moment smiling at each other with comfortable silence.

A shadow loomed over as another presence stepped close between us, I tried to hide my shock at the mere presence of such a handsome man. With his bare chest and dark eyes staring into my very soul, I could feel my knees grow weak when he smiled, looking quite happy to finally have my attention on him.

"Been looking forward to Michael finally bringing you around, I'm Dwayne. If the terror twins make you uncomfortable, let me know." His words were spoken so genuinely but that deep voice of his sent shivers down my spine. Swallowing as my throat went dry, I nodded, "Thank you, I appreciate that...Dwayne."

It was hard to ignore the way his lips pulled into a devilish smirk when I spoke his name, tilting his head as he too looked over my shorter form.

I was the same height as Marko but shorter than the handsome giant, I wondered what it would feel like if he completely swallowed me up in his muscular arms. Just the thought of pressing up against that toned chest made me nearly drool.

I took in a sharp breath when a leather gloved hand grazed my hip,Having slipped through the slit of my muscle shirt. They stepped up close so that their chest was fit perfectly against my back. Was the person sniffing my hair?

For some reason I didn't find myself minding as much as I probably should.

"My turn Kitten, I'm David. I hear you’re the smart one out of your little duo, Has Michael told you about me?" My body melted at the compliment added by the delicious sound of his husky voice, I shivered when his breath hit my ear.

"Y-Yes..." I cursed myself for stuttering, but the way he chuckled made it hard to care. "Good things I hope." Gulping I tried not to melt as his other hand circled my waist until it hovered on my pelvis, toying with the button of my jeans as I turned my head to him. I almost regretted it when I was greeted with those intense blue eyes and mind melting smirk.

"Nothing bad, Promise." I said sparing a glance towards Michael who had stood up the moment he realized David approached me.

He glanced worriedly between us, and unlike with Paul it wasn't jealousy I saw in his eyes...it was fear.

I hand on my chin pulled my attention back to David, "Good, wouldn't want you to have the wrong impression of me." I shivered against his grip that tightened on my waist, staring at his lips that seemed to grow closer and closer to my own.

“David.” Michael said sternly,clenching his jaw tight as he watched us.

There was a collective growl from the others while David didn’t even spare the Emerson boy a glance,his attention solely on me.

“You like Chinese, kitten?” He asked suddenly, catching me off guard.

Raising my brows I tried to collect myself, “L-Love it.” He smiled in content,”Looks, brains, and enjoys our favorite food. You got the whole package,Think we found ourselves a keeper boys.”

Paul and Marko voiced their agreements while Dwayne merely raised a brow, watching me with a strange look in his eyes that made me shift as my pants grew tighter.

I could have died right then and there when his eyes closed,his hands clenching at his side as he took a deep breath. David smirked when he saw his friends reaction,time to get the ball moving.

“Marko,food.” Marko groaned at David’s command but knew better than to argue,sending me a wink before running off to the entrance of the cave.

“David,we need to talk.” Michael huffed walking over,David looked unimpressed but sighed. “Keep our guest company, I won’t be long Kitten.” David gave me a warm smile,slowly sliding his grip across my body.

Dragging his gloved hand agonizingly over my stomach as it slid under my shirt before stepping away completely. Once looking away from me a dangerous air surrounded him as he stalked towards the Emerson boy, leading Michael off through a hidden passage in the back.

Paul walked over and plopped down on the couch Michael previously claimed and patted the spot next to him, And as if someone was controlling me I walked over with no resistance and sat down beside him with enough space between us to be comfortable. But for Paul that simply wouldn’t do.

He shifted closer until our sides were pressed snuggly together,he looked to Dwayne who wasted no time in sitting on the other side. Successfully caging me in between as he put an arm around the back of the couch behind me,leaned in close as the stretched position made his jacket open wide and show off his bare chest.

It was painfully hard not to ogle at his muscles when they were right in my face, I had to look towards Paul just to try and avoid the temptation.

No matter how much I wanted to grope those beautiful pecs of his.

After a half hour of chatting I began to feel as if I had known these boys for years, it was so easy to talk to them and it actually seemed like they actually cared about what I was saying. Every story shared was met with playful quips, pity when needed, and overall more interaction than I was used to.

Dwayne had left a few minutes ago to check in on David and Michael, leaving me completely alone with the blonde rocker.

“So (Y/n), you gotta tell me. What’s a smokin hot guy like you doing with a square like Michael?” Paul asked suddenly after I had just finished a story about my first time surfing in Santa Carla when I accidentally caused a surf nazi to crash and therefore have been avoiding the boardwalk.

“Hm? Well Michael and I have been friends since diapers, our moms were really close so it was inevitable that we were as well. Being the same age and all.” I stated setting my now empty beer can on the ground with the other boys pile.

He hummed with a small smile on those enticing lips,the mixture of weed and alcohol along with his touchy nature was driving me crazy, “I get it,explains why he’s so protective of you.”

I shrugged,much too distracted by his hands massaging my legs that he had pulled onto his lap at some point. His hands were magical, tenderly working through every aching muscle,”Why else would he hide you from us…though now that i see how hot you are,it’s not hard to tell why.”

My eyes widened when he leaned close to my face, not even attempting to hide his growing lust as he bit his lip. “You’re so hot and yet adorable, if I were him I’d keep you all to myself too. He knew once we got a taste of a pretty boy like you we would never let you go.”

His hand squeezed my thigh and I couldn’t stop the moan that left my mouth,slapping a hand over it I looked away in shame.

“Oh come on baby, don’t be shy. I wanna hear more.” Paul’s hand moved higher up my leg,fingers now terrifyingly close to the growing bulge beneath my tight pants.

Gulping I grabbed his wrist before it could go any higher, shame filling my chest when I realized how horny I was getting having a guy who was a complete stranger to me an hour ago touching me like this. A really hot guy, but a stranger nonetheless.

It was wrong…so why did it feel so right?

“I-I should check on Mi-“ Looking up I gasped when the blonde swooped in and captured my lips, I was even more surprised when I didn’t even try to fight back.

Instead my hand tangled in his hair as he moved to between my legs and squeezed my hips,pressing me harder into the arm of the couch. Though i didn’t mind too much as I added tongue to the kiss,earning a happy hum in response.

Pulling away he tugged my shirt off and started his assault on my neck, kissing and nipping at any flesh he could reach.

It was mind numbing how good at this he was, hands groping me as if he’s done it a thousand times before as his hard bulge started grinding against my ass.

He knew my body before he even knew me.

And I loved it.

Moving down from my now hickey covered neck, Paul kissed my chest…then my stomach…then my waist…before laying on his front between my thighs as his cheek laid on one. He looked up at me with pleading eyes, “Please..let me taste you, I’ll make you feel so good baby! I promise.”

With the way he was begging how could I refuse him,the look I was giving him was all the consent needed as Paul flashed me a feral grin before pressing his lips against my bulge. Mouthing at it through the fabric without a care in the world,hands quick in the way they unbuckled and unzipped my pants and yanked them down along with my boxers. I let out a sigh of relief for having been freed,earning a chuckle from the blonde.

My thighs squeezed his head by reflex when his breath hit my now bare shaft,the tip was probably leaking with precum by now. But I couldn’t find it in me to care much when his nose pressed against it and took a deep breath in,”Oh fuck man,you smell fucking delicious..”

Yup, I was going to die in a wet cave with an insanely hot dude sucking my dick…honestly not a bad way to go.

When his tongue hit my shaft I accidentally squeezed his head again now keeping him trapped between my thighs.

“Fuck yea,suffocate me baby!” His loud voice against my sensitive dick made me moan out into the quiet cave,the strange sensation making me nearly cum then and there.

The blonde looked up and licked his lips when he saw the dazed and wanting expression I had as I stared down at him,it sent an almost painful wave of lust throughout his body.

“Bon appetite.” He pressed a kiss to the tip and listened to my moans before gently grabbing the base,giving it a stroke as he watched my reaction so he could memorize every expression. Licking his lips he gave it a test lick and almost lost control when he realized he was going to become addicted to my taste.

His mouth salavated when he wrapped his lips around the head,swallowing me down until the tip was hitting the back of his throat. “F-Fuck! Holy fuck! Do you not have a g-gag reflex?!” I moaned out in pleasure and shock as he hummed around my cock only causing me to shiver with ecstasy.

A small click of something opening hit my ears but before I could question it I felt a cold substance covered finger probe at my ring of muscle, his eyes squinted with a hint of his smile as he continued swelling me down like a starving beast.

Skilled fingers slid inside of me slowly making a guttural moan leave my body, god it had been too long since another person had down this that I had almost forgotten how good it felt.

“Oh god keep going!” I yelled grabbing two fistfuls of his fluffy mullet and thrusting my hips back and forth trying to get more friction,his nose pressing against my pelvis repeatedly as he allowed me to use him in a way that left him grinding his own Dick against the couch cushion.

Biting my lip I began panting as his hand thrusted harder and faster after adding another finger,further stretching me so deliciously.

Letting my head fall back onto the arm of the couch my eyes drifting off and freezing when I noticed Dwayne standing in the dark hallway he had disappeared into earlier, His arms were crossed over his chest and he silently watched,a smirk growing on those plump lips when he realized he had been spotted.

Sending me a wink he kept eye contact as one of his hands reached down and began palming himself through his tight jeans.

“Holy shit...”

Paul grew oddly jealous when he noticed my attention was no longer on him, releasing my cock with a pop he irgnored my whine as he also slipped his fingers out.

Confusion only lasted a second until I realized he was shedding off his clothes before sliding between my thighs again with nothing but his mesh shirt.

His cock was mouthwatering to look at, long with a slight curve. He was definitely bigger than the last guy I fucked and yet I didn’t feel scared,In fact I felt my own Dick twitch with anticipation at just the thought of it inside of me.

As if reading my mind he stared down at me with feverish eyes. “I’m gonna fuck you nice and hard baby, okay?”

Dumbly all I could do was nod causing him to grin,”Good boy.” Grabbing his shaft he lined it up with my hole,slowly pushing the head in as it began to stretch the muscle.

Once the head entered fully we both grunted at the tightness,pain and pleasure mixed beautifully together as I held onto his shoulders as he leaned over me and pressed our foreheads together.

Grabbing my hips I didn’t care that his nails were digging into his skin.“That’s it baby, devour my cock!” Paul purred grinding easily as more entered until his hips were settled against my asscheeks. His head fell back in pleasure biting his lips as he shamelessly moaned. “Oh fuck,you’re so tight. Fuck if only you could feel this right now Marko!” He huffed followed by my gasp when he pulled back the till only the tip was in and slammed his hips into me again.

I almost didn’t hear him but a looming shadow over me caught my attention,looking up I saw Marko grinning down at me.”I should be mad you got to him first but I have a better idea.”

My eyes widened in shock and I opened my mouth to speak only for him to straddle my chest,”Fuck you’re so hot,DollFace.” That lust from before came back in full as he undid his belt,pushing down both his paints and boxers to reveal his weeping cock. Where Paul’s was long and angular his was long and thick, his hand pumped it as he stared down at me with heavy lust.

“Been waiting for this since the second you entered the cave, couldn’t wait to stuff my cock down that tight throat of yours.” I panted at both his words and Paul’s Dick pummeling my ass me as he used me to his content,grabbing Marko’s waist the blonde nipped at the others ear. “Don’t hold back Marko, (Y/n) can take it.”

Marko’s grin was feral as he pressed the head against my lips,”Wasn’t planning on it.” Opening my mouth I sucked on the head making him throw his head back onto Paul’s shoulder with a loud moan,not caring who heard.

Grabbing his thighs to stabilize him I licked the underside before sucking him in more,enjoying his sweet taste as I tried to bob my head from the awkward position.

Realizing my struggle he leaned forward and out of Paul’s grasp, grabbing onto the arm of the couch which was a much better positing as he began thrusting into my mouth. Moving my hands to his ass i groped the plump flesh and smiled against his cock when the action earned a whimper that sent heat to my gut.

Shutting my eyes at the sensory overload I felt a hand brush through my hair,peaking over I saw Dwayne knelt beside us with a smirk as he watched Marko rapidly thrust with no mercy. One glance down was all it took to notice he was hard too,thinking was hard right now but I soon came up with an idea.

Reaching over I put my hand over his bulge, his jaw clenched and he grunted when I squeezed.

“Fuck,are you sure..?” He asked and while I couldn’t nod I instead moved my hand to the waistband of his pants and he got the hint.

He smirked and got to work on undoing his pants and freeing himself just as Marko had,my eyes widened when I saw just how girthy he was. The man was packing a monster for sure, the sheer size dwarfed my hand when I wrapped it around the base and gave it a few strokes just to see how he’d react.

His eyes fluttered shut as he let out a sinful moan,one that would make even Lucifer blush. It was purely guttural mixed with a growl as he grabbed my wrist and used my hand as a flesh-light, I tightened my grip a bit and hummed in delight when I saw both him and Marko shiver.

Deciding to take a bit of control back I began thirsting up to meet Paul’s hips he cried out in pleasure and grabbed my hip and the back of the couch for support as i mercilessly fucked him.

Hallowing my cheeks Marko whimpered and took a hand full of my hair as Dwayne sat up a bit to kiss him,it was so hot to watch as the two fought for dominance.

Just as Marko was about to win I swallowed him down more until his tip hit the back of my throat,His mouth opened in a silent cry giving Dwayne the chance to take over. Biting Marko’s lip he grabbed his nipple through his ripped tank and pinched,resulting in Marko’s hips faltering.

My hand continued it’s pumping and soon enough all three made sounds that let me know they were close.

“Fuck guys…I-I can’t..” Marko pulled away from Dwayne and glanced back at Paul who was panting heavily as his hips thrusted at a quick pace,”Neither can I,he’s feels so good! Fuck he’s so tight he’s gonna milk me!”

Dwayne grunted in agreement,clenching his eyes shut tight when my pace got faster. “I’m gonna kill Michael for hiding him from us this long.”

While I should be upset at Dwayne for threatening My best friend I was on cloud nine right now,lightly I raked my teeth against Marko’s cock and that was all he needed.

“Ah! F-Fu..” he yelled as he finally came,cumming straight down my throat as I tried to swallow every last drop.

He pulled out his now flaccid dick and sat back on my chest,he turned to Dwayne and watched as he too reached his climax. Strings of white shooting up and hitting us both on the face and chest,Dwayne almost grew hard again when I lifted my hand up to my mouth and licked off his thick cum and moaned at the taste.

“Come on baby,I want you!” Marko slipped off my chest and they all were surprised when I shot up and tackled Paul back on the couch, straddling him as I bounced on his lap. Forcing him to thrust harder and harder as i wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Ah! Hah! Fuck guys…h-He..Ah..is amazing.” Paul moaned out before nipping and licking my ear. “Keep going baby,harder!” Grabbing my dick he pumped it to match the thrusts,so deep in my own pleasure I didn’t notice the way his eyes glowed and his mouth aimed for my shoulder.

Only for his teeth to sink into a wrist instead, his eyes widened and he saw David hovering behind me with a harsh glare.

Slipping his teeth back out he chuckled, “H-Hi Davey.” Far too drowned out in pleasure I merely glanced back at him causing his frown to melt into a smirk.

“Looks like the boys have been keeping you entertained,pretty boy.” He mused seeing me nod as I went back to fucking myself on Paul’s Dick as the blonde squealed with pleasure.

“Fuck…he’s so good David.” Marko said biting his thumb as they all watched,David hummed and began shedding his jackets and tossing the on the other side of the couch.

“Perhaps I’ll have to see for myself, Huh kitten?” Nodding I licked a stripe up Paul’s neck making him vibrate with shivers.

David grinned and made quick work of releasing his cock,settling on the couch behind me his leather gloves were cold against my skin when he grabbed my asscheeks and gave them a squeeze.

He laughed cruelly when I leaned back against his touch searching for more, “Now now (Y/n),patience. I’ll be fucking you dumb soon enough.” He said lowly in my ear as he wrapped himself around me and grinded against my ass,thrusting to meet Paul’s. And I felt myself wishing he would just slip it in as well…that thought surprised me but I had never felt this horny before.

“David…” I moaned reaching back and grabbing the back of his neck,turning my head towards him I tried to kiss him only for his lips to move out of reach. “Words Kitten,what do you want me to do to you?”

I playfully bit my lip,enjoying the way his eyes followed the action.

“Fuck me..kiss me…use me.” His beautiful blue orbs darkened and he grinned,”With pleasure.”

He surged forward and captured my lips in a heated kiss, unlike with Dwayne and Marko there was no fighting for dominance. David was on top and that was final, and I was more than okay with that.

He licked my lips as he pulled back when his fingers lapped up some of Dwayne's cum and used it as lube to lather his own cock,”Think you can handle both of us Kitten, wouldn’t want to break you.”

I couldn’t tell if he was taunting me or not,but honestly right now I couldn’t care less. I just knew I needed them both inside me,to feel the fullness of both of them pounding into me was all I wanted.

“Please~ I can h-Handle it!” His eyes darkened with lust as he shared a look with the others, “I knew he’d be perfect.” I heard Dwayne say as he stood hovering over Paul’s shoulder,leaning on the back of the couch as he closely watched.

“Alright then pretty boy, since you begged so nicely.” Mercilessly he forced himself past the ring of muscle,squeezing inside until he was pressed firmly alongside Paul. They both grunted at the sensation while I could only hold onto them with my jaw hanging open in pure bliss.

Never had I felt so full before, it was incredible to the point where I doubted I could ever feel satisfied masturbating again after this.

“F-Fuck..so tight.” David grunted pressing his face into the side of my neck as he gritted his teeth. “David…Ah…Harder.” A sadistic grin formed against my neck as a deep chuckle rumbled against my back, even Paul looked slightly tightened by whatever his leader was about to do. Seeing as how his poor dick would also be affected in the crossfire.

“Pretty boy likes it hard Huh? Well who am I to deny you.” With a tightening grip on my waist he began thrusting harder than before…much harder.

Paul gasped out just as I did, struggling to keep up with the platinum blonde despite his best efforts. He was too close to his orgasm, Moaning like a bitch in heat at both my tight warm cavity and David’s unrelenting pace against him.

“Holy shit…where have you boys been all my life?” Marko chuckled at my question, watching me yank Paul’s head back by his hair so I could lick and nibble at his throat. “We’ve been here doll, but don’t worry we have all the time in the world to catch up.”

If I had been in a better state of mind I might have noticed the dark meaning behind those pretty words, but pleasure racked my mind like a drug. All I wanted was for them to consume my mind body and soul until I was completely theirs.

Michael didn’t even cross my mind even as Paul finally succumbed to his pleasure, “Ah! Fuck baby!” He groaned dropping his head onto my chest as his cum poured into my hole, filling it until it was squelching out and onto his lap.

David however was far from done, and the second Paul pulled out He was falling back with me on his lap,back pressed against him as he continued to thrust up. “You’re ours now (Y/n), join us and you’ll feel this pleasure for the rest of eternity.” His hands were everywhere, my hips,my Dick,my throat. His hips stopped in their assault waiting for my answer, and being so blinded by my lust for them I couldn’t think of any other choice but to agree, “Yes! yes! Just please let me cum!”

His feral grin sent shivers down my spine as he motioned for Marko to grab something, I didn’t see what he and the others were doing as I buried my face into the side of David’s head. Moaning into his ear I could feel his dick twitch inside me as he grabbed my hair and pulled my head back, my brows furrowed when I saw a gold chalice being held to my lips.

“Drink this, be ours and I will let you cum (Y/n). You will never be left behind or forgotten, we will love you and cherish you. All you have to do is drink.” His words struck a chord deep inside of me,bringing tears that fell as his striking blue eyes softened.

“I want to be loved.” I said as I felt a hand brush the tears from my cheeks, looking up I saw Dwayne hovering over us as he cupped my face in his strong hands . “You will be, we take care of what’s ours. Don’t you want to be ours baby boy?” His face grew closer to mine as he and David caged me between them.

David’s lips whispered praising words into my ear while Dwayne placed gentle kisses along my collarbone as the chalice grazed my lips, they all knew they had won the second I shut my eyes and parted my lips.

“That’s my good boy.” David purred as he tipped the chalice and let the crimson liquid inside pour slowly into my mouth.

It tasted indescribable as my tongue tingled, it slid down my throat until I had drank every last drop. Only then did David pull it away and pass it to someone off to the side.

“You did so good baby boy, now the real fun begins.” The thrusting returned with it’s brutal pace, making me yelp and moan as I felt my lower stomach twist and beg for release.

“That’s it,scream for me kitten.” David grabbed my chin and forced it towards him as he captured my lips in a fiery kiss.

Our audience all watched with matching grins as we were so close to the end, parting with a gasp David licked my lips before switching positions.

My face was pressed down onto the couch as he draped over my back, “Come on baby boy, milk me dry!” He roared biting into my shoulder and making me gasp in ecstasy. It burned in the best way, finally pushing me over the edge as cum shot out and pooled on the cushions.

David wasn’t far behind as his teeth left my shoulder and he grunted, his cum mixing with Paul’s as he too came. Sliding out he motioned for someone to get something to clean me up.

Heavy breaths echoed in the quiet cave, a hand petting my hair as I came down from my high made me smile. Marko’s handsome face held a Cheshire grin while his fingers brushed over my scalp, “Welcome to the family Doll, we’re all gonna have so much fun together.”

Feeling my eyelids grow heavy I nodded in agreement, “W-What about Michael?” David turned my tired body onto my back and taking my chin he leaned down till our lips were a mere inch apart, “Forget about Michael, he had his chance but you belong to us now.” His lips grazed mine teasingly as he growled.

“Rest now, we have much to discuss tomorrow.” I didn’t have the energy to argue as I felt my consciousness leave me.

“Our sweet boy.”

———

“(Y/n)! Come on wake up!”

Michael frantically tried to wake me,but it seemed useless as I merely groaned with displeasure and further burrowed into the nest of blankets.

“We have to leave, I should have never brought you here! Wake up!” A dark chuckle met his panicked words making the brunette boy jump and whip around in fear.

“I thought I warned you to stay away Michael.” David was fully dressed again, a lit cigarette hanging loosely from his lips as he eyed the Emerson boy.

“I’m not leaving without him!” David couldn’t help but to laugh, pulling his cigarette away he stalked over tauntingly slow and blew the smoke into Michaels face.

Smirking as he winced before a frown formed, “You did your job by bringing him to us, now I have no use for you. (Y/n) belongs to us now, I suggest you forget about him and leave while I still have mercy on you.”

Tossing the cigarette onto the ground he stomped it out before pushing past the half and sat on the edge of the bed, brushing his knuckles over my cheek. Michael clenched his fists at his sides and turned to storm out of the hidden room they had stored me in, close to their den so they could always check on me without fear of the sunlight.

“He loved you too you know, how cruel you were leaving him in the dust. Not to worry,we’ll take good care of him.” Michael froze eyes wide before h shook his head,”This isn’t over David, I’ll be back for him and I wont stop until his is safe. Even if it means killing you.”

David looked amused by the threat, like Michael was just a mere child who was throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get his way. “Goodbye Michael.”

He listened as michaels footsteps disappeared from the cave entirely before standing again, peeling his jacket he tossed it on a chair before slipping into bed behind me. Wrapping an arm around my waist he pulled me into his chest with a content hum.

“David?” I mumbled, drowsy from sleep as David merely pulled me closer and looked over the his and the boys many bite marks that claimed me as theirs. “Go back to sleep kitten, I’ve got you.” He licked his and smirked as I shivered.

“There’ll be plenty of time for that tomorrow, rest now. You’ll need the energy.” With that promise in mind he watched as I finally fell back asleep safely wrapped in a monsters arms.

If only I knew what fate was laid before me when I woke up.

[fallingstarsandeagles]

I’m honestly completely freaking out because byler has been the main catalyst for sending me into a total sexuality crisis and I have no one in my real life I can vent to about this. I’m feeling kind of embarrassed to admit to all these details here, but the byler community has been so supportive and loving that I feel like I can trust you guys. Please do not feel compelled to read this as it would be self absorbed to believe everyone would be interested in my life. However if you are the least bit curious I would love to hear your feedback.

To give a bit of background I am a 22 year old girl who has always thought she was straight. I never really thought I felt attraction for woman but I honestly didn’t feel a super strong attraction to men either. I definitely got crushes on guys and kissed a few guys through my early teens. In junior year I had a boyfriend for like 4 months that I met through an organization, but we didn’t go to school together and neither of us had our licenses so we didn’t see each other that often. I lost interest very quickly and I slowly stopped talking to him until he broke up with me (actions I am horrified by now) the common denominator in all of these scenarios is I did not feel the a strong connection with any of these guys or even enjoyed spending time with them that much.

Often times it’s just much harder for me to be myself around guys compared to girls. There were also a couple scenarios where I was asked out by guys I had no interest in and I rejected them. This is a cliche to admit but I also made out with a few girls at my overnight camp under the guise of practicing kissing. It was an exciting experience but not what I viewed as life changing or that it gave me any realization moment. I honestly didn’t take anything from it. In tv and movies I mainly gravitated toward straight couple although they would often be less conventional ships that usually didn’t end up together.

I also feel I should add that I experienced some pretty serious bullying at my overnight camp in an experience that slowly escalated over the years from my best friends transforming into my bullies. Their behavior shifted so gradually and I so desperately wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening so I remained in denial and convinced myself that I was over exaggerating their behavior. When I confronted people about how they treated me much shittier than every one else they would say I was being dramatic or just refuse to respond to me. So I couldn’t be sure if what I was experiencing was real or if it was happening in my head. I greatly internalized the idea that I was just being dramatic and attention seeking.

These experiences have given me anxiety and depressing and left me with a very low self esteem and a deep distrust of my own social sensibilities and etiquette. I was left feeling deeply misunderstood by everyone around me and I clung to to these toxic friendships out of fear that I could never find anyone else. To give some examples of how I was treated in one instance one girl invited everyone in the group chat to a Halloween party she was hosting. About a week later she texted me individually saying she actually couldn’t host the party. I found out during Christmas that she actually made a separate group chat without me after that and only uninvited me. No one told me about this until I asked people about it around Christmas. In another instance a girl I have been best friends with since I was 4 who I convinced to start coming to this camp started dating that guy who was especially cruel in his behavior toward me. This is literally a girl I got poison ivy with, got my ears pierced with, and snuck out with. And she didn’t give a fuck about getting with a guy who treated her supposed best friend like shit. It was super hard to let go of these friendships. I remember feeling like a mistake and feeling like no one would understand me. It felt like I was always on the outside and their was a window between me and the rest of the world.

I eventually made about 2 really good friends that I can be myself around. That means I can be super passionate about things like books and tv shows without having to hold back. But I still have a lot of trauma from that time. Before byler their was Hizzie a w/w ship from an honestly terrible spinoff show legacies. But hizzie was the highlight for me even though it was never canon (despite 2 love confessions) The interesting thing was from this show I mostly clung to and related to the main character Lizzie Saltzman who was a complex character with bipolar disorder who often feels broken and has a codependent relationship with her sister. The narrative often frames her as narcissistic when in reality she can be very selfless. I strongly saw and felt comp het within her based on how she interacted with her male love interests and how it contrasted how she interacted with Hope. I felt indignant when I saw people call their bond sisterly. And I felt heartbroken when Lizzie ended up with a man that she was never that interested in. I honestly can’t tell if I want to be Lizzie or if I was in love with her.

And then there was Byler. I started watching stranger things after season 2 and I hadn’t really paid attention to byler. I thought they were cute but I also thought Mileven was cute although I didn’t actively ship them. Tbh the couple I shipped most upon first watch was jancy. And then when I watched season 3 I fell in love with Will’s character. His arc of feeling like he was falling behind the rest of his friends felt painfully familiar for me. I immediately saw his as queer though I honestly didn’t even really consider him being in love with Mike. Then I saw season 4 vol 1. About a week after vol 1 came out I found byler tumblr and it all spiraled from there. I’ve been obsessed. I check the tag everyday, I read basically ever byler fic, I watch tik tok analysis, im in a byler insta group chat. It makes me so giddy to think about them.

And I also start thinking more about internalized homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality. And it just got me thinking. I can’t think of a single instance in my entire life where I had a deep crush on a guy I actually knew beyond the surface especially after the age of 14. All I really had were random hookup or two that always felt awkward. I was heartbroken by vol 2 but now have hope for season 5. Then I just watched Do Revenge and wanted camilas and maya’s characters to make out the entire time even though their relationship was toxic af. And I’m just… confused. I’ve never really thought through the process of dating a girl. I’ve never processed that as an option. But now that I am it seems potentially more appealing than the other option. But I still don’t even know if I’m attracted to girls. I think girls are beautiful but how do I know if I’m attracted to them. And a part of me just thinks I’m being dramatic or doing this for attention. Or that I just feel lonely and I feel a kinship with the lgbtq+ community so I’m clinging to it. I don’t know what to do. I’m crying writing this post and feeling really alone. I doubt anyone made it this far but if you did please let me know what you think. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my long ramble.

Also I thought I should add that I was absolutely heartbroken and upset when my best girl friend from middle and high school said we would go to prom together and then she end up ditching me after a guy she didn’t even like asked her. I had absolutely no thoughts that I could possibly like her or be attracted to her at the time and I’m still not sure I see her that way because our relationship felt pretty platonic. That was another unbalanced friendship where I was giving way more than I was getting back yet I was so reluctant to let go of it.

[carmzzjk]

Second chance at love 🤍

Warnings: ☆smut ☆insecurities ☆bulling ☆manipulation ☆eating disorder ☆body shaming ☆depression ☆ toxic

- 🤍Pure fan fiction meaning not real. Original characters made by chenn. Hope you enjoy, follow and tell me your thoughts🤍

Chapter 1: ☆ It starts with a name ☆

🎧🎧🎧🎧

Walking around endlessly in a hall filled with tall figures and small whines of torture. Jane felt her self grow hopeless, why on earth was finding a classroom so difficult? Shouldn’t it be the easiest to do if everything was labeled? Then why couldn’t Jane find it, close to giving up she let her eyes wonder to the lines on the floor.

Counting the lines, letting herself relax and ignore the world around her. As nice as it felt, she didn’t realize it would cost her. Her body hit warmth and soon hit back down to freezing cold. Groaning as she allowed her brain to register the world once again, her eyes were met with a hand.

A long and a shade lighter then her own waited in the air. Tempted to feel the warmth once again she allowed her hand to reach. Grabbing a hold of the hand she felt her body receive such warmth she hadn’t felt in a while. It felt nice, but she couldn’t stand in silence like she so desperately wished.

“I’m so sorry!” She quickly apologized,  her voice sounding pitchy and unrecognizable. But she couldn’t seem to care after he heard his, “it’s okay.” His voice was nothing but absolutely perfect. A sweet like honey pitch but at the same time deep like the ocean.

But his voice wasn’t the only deep like factor. His eyes where something far more beautiful then she could ever imagine. A pretty dark blue that reminded her of the beaches down at her parents home town. But along with such beauty came a sense of familiarity. “Have I seen you before?” She couldn’t help but ask, his eyes bought such warmth it wasn’t possible this was the first she’s seen them.

“I’m not sure, I can’t recall ever seeing you before.” He simply answered but the warmth was still very present. Could he be a new warmth? All so soon?

“O-oh never mind then. I must’ve mistaken.” She felt embarrassed but she swear she’s seen him before. Why else would she feel that feeling after pushing it deep inside for so long?

“No worries, are you knew?” He asked kindly as he moved them both closer to the wall and not in the middle of the hallway.

“Yeah, I was just in a hurry since I couldn’t find my classroom.” The girl said offering a smile and her schedule, hoping he would help her.

Taking a look at it he smiled “it looks we have the same class. Maybe I can take you?”

“Oh yes please!” She spoke excitedly as she followed right behind him. It felt so right yet so wrong all at the same time.

They walked a peaceful trail and occasionally asked questions. Maybe he could be her friend. She was knew after all and lost. Maybe he could be her lead?

Reaching the classroom he left her and went to sit down. Going up to the teacher she asked softly for a seat. Getting to sit just across the boy she felt giddy. Maybe she could get closer to her new friend.

Class was obviously boring, what did you expect when taking college algebra? Luckily for her the boy next to her spoke to her kindly. He was handsome and had a sweet smile. Maybe this school wasn’t too bad. :)

Lunch rolled around and the girl could feel the loneliness seep into her. She made a few friends here and there but none she could converse outside of a lesson. Looking down at her locket she held it close and whispered. “Please help me do better.” With that said she threw her lunch away and walked out. Not wanting to witness the close nit friendships that parade their groups like they owned the very same cafeteria.

Walking around as music played in her ears she let her mind drift from many things, like her old school, old friends and lastly something different, something new…

Then suddenly the boy from earlier this morning stood in front of her. His soft lips moving but no sound was heard through the loudness in her ears. Quickly taking the one out “I’m so sorry what did you say?”

He chuckled at her but nonetheless repeated himself “I was wondering how your day has been going?.” Should she tell him honestly? That he entered her mind and hasn’t left soon or should she-

“You shouldn’t play the music so loud it could damage your ears.” He softly said using his hand to lower the volume of her headphone. Sweet was all she could think from his words. Displaying such kindness to a person he just meet made her awe in foundness. The people here were oh so kind to her, almost made her miss her old place. It felt nice to be cared for once again. “It’s going okay just a little lonely.” She never liked to share her true feelings, never wanting to feel like a burden but feeling herself feel that warmth once again let her spill. How would he react if he saw her spill so easily to another cup. Would he feel jealous? Or would he be proud?

“Oh I’m sorry, it’s a bit tough to make friends here. Everyone already knows people from the beginning. But I’m sure you’ll find a tight group to call your own. But if you’ll like maybe after school you can hang around me? Im not the most fun but if it eases your loneliness I’d love too.”

Without even thinking she couldn’t help but agree. Give a hurt animal some warmth and it will jump right in without a second thought. She wanted and craved such warmth that it didn’t matter. “Yeah I would love to hang out with you after school.” She answered honestly and let her heart feel at ease.

“Awsome. I’m Eliot by the way.” A soft smile that seemed so sweet and innocent, she felt herself mirrored it perfectly.

“I’m Jane.”

A introduction to a new life Jane hoped allowed her to stay. A life with no regrets or second thoughts. A life without “him”.

[wii-music-on-repeat]

Um so I've never really had a great time making friends in elementary and middle school...

So um in kindergarten I was friends with these two girls and one of them just kinda hung out with the other two of us, I don't think we ever really talked like friends or whatever, but the other girl told me I was a bully for reasons STILL UNKNOWN lets call that girl eve, so we all kinda broke apart

First and second grade was the only time I ever felt comfortable with all my friends, it was my best friend who I'd been friends with from young to this day and another girl. One moved cities and the other moved schools.

Third grade I became friends again with the Eve and another person let's call this person Jordan (who later became non-binary) long story short they left me out of their conversations and hated me but never actually said anything

Fourth grade still the same friends but now Jordan became mad at the slightest thing and avoided me like the plague dragging Eve with her. Few friends added, let's call them mayla and Maxine

Fifth grade were all friends again except for Eve whos being really toxic and controlling, mayla finds other friends and basically ditches us, no explanation

Sixth grade we become friends with a girl let's call her Kayla and me and Jordan are like besties, Eve is still toxic and controlling. Trying to leave me out and pulls Jordan away and tells them to stop being friends with me. Kayla and me hung out the most and she made me really insecure (even though she didn't say anything) but she also made me feel like I had a real friend so did Jordan without the insecurities. Kayla got kicked out and Jordan moved schools. I lost contact with both of them.

Seventh grade, big fight with Eve and were no longer friends. I get 3 new friends named uh... A, B, and C, because I don't feel like coming up with any more names. Me and A are besties at this point. We hang out with Maxine and B. Awesome! Separately I'm friends with C. There is a few others but I never really considered them in the friend group.

Eight grade, A has high school lunch so hers is after ours and we barely hang out anymore and C is also now a high schooler. B found new friends and hangs out with them. So did Maxine. I eventually started hanging out more with B's friends D and E (D is D because he likes dick) were all at least a little gay there. E is amazing and so nice and so is B. D on the other hand, I just want to punch his face. I constantly feel like I just don't belong

It gets better from there, and my hands are getting tired so bye👋

[punkpsychologist]

i have friends now!!!!!

i went to a university sponsored "music" night and I made a friend that I'm going to call P (assuming i havent used that letter yet)

P met B's friend, A and now those two are dating.

my friend group consists of me, B, B's friends G and K, and then there's A and P.

we also have now evolved into a dungeons and dragons group

P and I are both afab and have had that bond of the mutual understanding of the taught/socialized female experience together

its so fun

p and I have the same sense of humor and i think that it stressed B and A out a little bit lol

K has some issues with fetishizing sapphics much to my disdain but he's trying really hard to be liked, he's learning when he needs to shut the fuck up which literally all the rest of us appreciate

he's like an eighteen year old middle school boy from 2015

A is really cool, he's in a band which I cannot tell you the name of. He and B are both computer science majors and share classes together where they will both text me things and read eachothers messages

its quite the experience

G is exceptionally cool, he's highly charismatic and the first few times I met him he definitely seemed to be the person keeping groups on track and in a good mood

shocker shocker, he's our dm for dnd lol I had been really envious(in a I wish that were me kind of way) over one of my long time friends who was able to go to uni in new york state. mainly because they got to forget about home and that they had secured a solid group of friends called The Movie Night Group. The idea of friend groups is one that I have eternally romanticized. I have often found myself to be in trios of rejected individuals. I was one of three throughout elementary until I was 10, it ended in war and bloodshed. I had a friend group in middle school but that ended in lost memories and life altering trauma. High school happened and I had a new group with little cross over from middle school. That group was my everything. It was shattered last winter when a big fight broke out and for two months I spoke to no one. I had been in a bad ptsd episode and was afraid to talk to B and I only left my house twice a week for a singular class. So for two months I only really spoke to my mother. I crept out of my crypt and started talking to B again in march and thats when I started getting better. I love B. Over the phone I confessed everything that happened with my friends and I told him about my ptsd and grandfather's cancer. Basically I told him about all the dark things that hid in my brain and poisoned my body and heart without outing my feelings for him. He jokingly asked me to come to his university. It happened to be the closest and the cheapest. So that's what I did. I'm here and I'm nearly certain we're together. Last time he came over we cuddled and watched an entire season of breaking bad. He asked if he could put his head on my shoulder and I said god yes. It ended up being both of us lying on my bed with out backs against the long side of the wall and his head was half buried in the crook of my neck. I could have solved all my questions by kissing his forehead and searching his face for a reaction but alas I am not so brave. I don't know why I'm typing so dramatically tonight. I just feel like it lol. either way. getting back on track. friend group. last night all of us aside from A who is out of town got dinner together and talked dnd. after dinner we walked around campus together and there was this magic to it. maybe it was the abnormally cool texas fall temperatures or the neurochemicals, but seeing people i knew walking in front of me and being in a conversation brimming with contagious laughter with someone next to me. I felt like a real, live, person. I felt like 19 year old doing 19 year old things. The highest toxicity was an undefined romantic relationship and K's idea of humor. We weren't hiding secrets from each other or trying to socially dominate, we just existed as comrades. Maybe it was love? This feels good. This feels like something that could be permanent. I like these people. Our discord server is popping the fuck off. I feel like a living person who is being good and is healing. I love them and I feel like I love myself. I think I might also be loved which is a cool feeling.

edit: P came out as transmasc today so I feel it is of utmost importance to change his initial to a D

[goofyhoffy]

known stranger | jjk | Chapter 1

people say your bestfriend's rival is your rival too. But what if you fall for your rival.

✿ Pairing :  Jungkook × female reader, Jimin × best friend reader

✿ Genre : enemies to lovers, stranger au, personal assistant au, manager au, mutual au.

✿ Summary : always seen him around your mutual friend, but one day you  noticed the known face. Everyone find you so interesting that they always want to be your best friend, yet you never find anyone close to your heart. Jimin your so called bestfriend gone through the worse break up but instead of caring him you fall for his rival. You never thought of liking someone who would beat your bestfriend, but you fall for Jungkook there. Unfortunately, Jungkook became your personal assistant who hated you the most for supporting Jimin. What if Jungkook also wants you back?

✿ Warnings : fluff, strong languages, reader is a psychopath, angst, anxiety, anxiousness, double faced, bullying, overthinking, mean people, Jimin here is the meanest, ignoring, explicit, smut, fake friends, manager and personal assistant au, mutual friend, swearing, filled with flirty lines, rival, lovey dovey, break up, makeout, humiliation, oneshot, texting.

✿ Series : a drabble fanfiction of 3 sets

✿ Word Limit : 5 k+

MASTERLIST

✿ Author's note : wishing you many happy returns of the day, kook. I thought of making this fanfic a oneshot but my mind never cooperates with me. So, here I'm again with my drabble series. Read it and let me know if you liked it. To get add on taglist, send an ask.

(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)

"See, I changed your contact name to 'Bestie' , it's looking perfect dude." Jimin rejoiced. You just gladly looked at his phone screen with your two owl eyes. "Now, you also need to change my contact name in your phone to 'bestie'. Do it fast, I'm waiting, piggy."  Jimin said happily.

"Ya, I'll do it later some day." You weirdly smiled at him. It's always been like that. Jimin being too clingy, always said that you're his best friend, his own girl, whom he adores the most. But somewhere you never felt that. You never denied him of being your friend or you can say your best friend but you always hesitated to accept. You never called him sweetly, never even seen him like your bestfriend but something less than that. A vibe just didn't match with him. Yet, he was always the one who texted you, asked for hanging out, call you by pet names, always loved you, always treat you like his bestfriend. You never showed this emotions neither you did denied all that .

"You always do this things. You know, you're always first for me. First priority,____(y/n)." Jimin sighed.

"Ya, always first. But-" you got intreuppted by him.

This Areum gonna kill me one day. This girl already broke up with me but still cling to me." Jimin said while checking his phone. Few weeks ago, Jimin had a worst broke up. More likely, a betrayal kinda thing happened with him. Before that he was so happy, bright and always busy with his girlfriend. And never ever asked you how were you back then. There you got it, how really a toxic person he was. That's why, you never wanted to call him your special person. Cause after every break up he only comes to you. And during his relationship phase he never even asked you nor did he talk to you. A complete stranger basically.

" Why don't you just ignore her. Block her if she's distrubing you so much." You said.

"I did, but still. Well, she's only for fun. She also have fun making out with me and I do the same. So no problem." Jimin chuckled.

"Also fun when she calls his boyfriend and his friends to beat you up as you're assign of molesting her." You rolled your eyes.

"____, you clearly know that. You have seen that. She was the first who directed me to kiss her , touch her and everything. But later that bitch just called her bodyguard boyfriend to help her out. It's only a strategy for breaking up with me." Jimin sighed.

"Then, why did you do the same thing again Jimin? Just leave her. It really feel bad to see your friend suffering." You asked.

"Bestfriend not friend." Jimin corrected.

"Whatever. Do you want to have red stamps on your ass again?" You sighed.

"No, but I can't. That time I was so mad at Areum so I didn't do any harm to her boyfriend. Unless I would have kicked him in nuts." Jimin giggled.

"Everything is not a joke, Jimin." You rolled your eyes as you left for your daily shift.

◉

You got freahen up after a hectic day at your work. After taking good hot shower, you sat on your bed and checked your phone. You glared at how many messages Jimin had sent you to ask about your day, your mood, what's you're doing and stuff like that. You completely ignored it. Sometimes you feel that, the boy put so much of his time on you just to get some friendly love from you. But at the second thought, you imagine all those moments when he ignored you, your texts, your calls for hours and days just because he don't need you.

At last you saw the flooded messages at the new group chat you got added. You don't have enough patience to read what the group chat was about and who were the members. So, you directly called the one who added you.

It's Bora, who added you. Your long lost another best friend. Who also treated you like her best friend but you never like being her friend. But you felt so glad that someone still remembered you. You called her.

"Hello!"  You nervously chuckled.

"____, I missed you bub. Don't you missed me sweets?" Bora excitedly asked.

"Sure. I-I mean I did. A lot. Bora." You weirdly smiled

"Then you're definitely coming to the Mall? Don't you?" Bora asked.

"Mall? About what?" You asked.

"I added you to the gc dude. Checked that. Everyone is coming. Please you also need to come. I have many things to talk about you." Bora pleased.

"I saw that, that's why I called you. Cool idea! Definitely gonna come Bora." You said.

"Call me sunshine. Okayy, tomorrow at eight at evening near the south mall. Don't be late. We all will be there." Bora said happily.

"Sure sunshine. I'll be there promise. Good night. Meet you tomorrow." You said cheerfully.

You're kinda excited to meet your old goldies. Not to lie but you missed them so much. All the shit they talk, crazyness they do and everything about them is all you need right now. You missed Bora in real. Like, in days she was so toxic that gives you anxiety unnecessarily but still she missed you. You always love the person who mentioned you anywhere unless or untill it's Jimin.

At the Mall, you're already late to go their after your hectic schedule. But still you're not late as it's only nine and they asked you to be their till eight. But you always a late lateefa. More like a queen for whom everyone waits. You saw Bora, and ran cheerfully towards her.

"Sunshine!" You sang.

"_____, again late." Bora exclaimed arrogantly.

"Really sorry Bora. Tell me if I missed anything." You asked.

"Everything. Legit everything." Bora said.

"Why? I'll cry dude." You sighed

"Everyone already gone for movie. I'm just here to wait for you girl. Thank me." Bora rolled her eyes

"Then let's go for the movie. We can join the movie." You cheerfully smiled.

"Wait. I didn't call you here to hangout with you. I need to tell you many things." Bora said.

"Then whom we're waiting for. Let's have some goosip coffee, Sunshine." You chuckled as both of you just walked upto the near counter coffee shop. There you sat the same place you used to and have endless laughter.

She explained how she's going to marry the man of her dreams. Tells you everything about what happening in every one's life and their love life. During your old days to, Bora was the one who tells you all the goosip and love life of others. She was so much interested in other life than her own. Unfortunately you were always the one who used to hear all those boring goosips. You were never interested, neither you are now interested.

As the weather is getting happier the dark clouds surrounds the mood. You saw Areum and his Boyfriend Seokjin was also there at the mall. They're strolling down the Mall with grabbing eachother hands. They looked so happy. But you felt so bad for his boyfriend Seokjin. He never knew the actual face of Areum. You have seen after Jimin's break up also, she used to make out with him. Jimin share each and everything about that. How she bite his upper lip so much and how she was acting that everything was good and still were together. Jimin was an actual fool and you knew that. He didn't understand that, the thing which he was telling fun and gain is actually the entire opposite. Areum was all having fun with her new rich boyfriend and having a good physical life with Jimin. But here Jimin was always so sad because of her. She's an actual bitch  and act like an innocent fool.

"Bora, this is the girl I'm talking about." You pointed at Areum indirectly.

"She was Jimin's girlfriend? Ew. I always know he had a bad taste." Bora said.

"See the boy beside her, he's her new boyfriend. A total bitch." You fumed. As both of you sitting at the corner of the coffee cafe looking at them and goosiping.

"That's Seokjin. Lord." Bora yelled.

"You know him?" You asked.

"For sure. He's the friend of Jungkook. That boy is way too flirt." She giggled.

"Jungkook? You mean that boy?" You asked.

"Ya, remember during the high school party I invited him. You met him quite a few time, ____" she said.

"Wait. There's a  Long story about him also dude. Let me finish." You chuckled as you sipped your cold brew.

You explained her how during the break up of Jimin and Areum, she called her new boyfriend. With his new boyfriend there was Jungkook there to threaten Jimin. You had witnessed all the threatening Jungkook given. The way he said 'back off your little ass' , 'fuck another girlfriend, leave Areum' , 'seokjin is like my brother, if anything happens to her girl I won't leave you". All his aggression, confidence in his eyes and a way of firece. Not to mention you liked it.

All this years, you have seen Jungkook. You have seen him in the partis, malls and streets. But after he threatened your bestfriend, you kind of liked him. After that you noticed him in real. How he was flexing his arms while talking to Jimin, how he was rolling his eyes, how he was just standing there looking immensely handsome. With the white t-shirt on and cargo pants, he was looking handsome. That's the first time you actually noticed him.

You really felt bad for Jimin that all the boys get over him. But a certain part of your giggling to recalling all the moment of Jungkook. You never talked to him, neither he took an interest on you. You both were just a known stranger to each other. Known by the faces and stranger by the identity.

At the end of the meet and greet day, you were on your way to outside. Bora was with you. You both were laughing. You met with other old friends too after so long. You took some good memories photo and you felt so good at the end.

"Bora! Hey!" Someone shouted at Bora who was standing beside you at the exit of the mall. She looked back and realized it's Jungkook.

"Hey, Kook. You're here." She giggled.

"Come here with Seokjin. You too here?" Jungkook asked.

"Yeah, with _____(y/n). Meet my bestu." She pointed at you.

"I see." Jungkook just rolled his eyes on you. It's completely like ignoring you. You also completely just looked at your phone to cut off eye contact. It was like ignoring both of their conversation.

You know why he always looked so uninterested on you. After Jimin's broke up, you took Jimin's side and then all those so called cold war started. He absolutely hate you because you opposed him and supported your friend. But you know you were correct. But that never mean that you could not have a crush on him.

His dark hairs falling at his eyes with the little puppy eyes look immensely fierce. His everything is quite recognisable and you remembered each of the detailed about him. But always a guilt that you never spoke to him. You wanted to but his expression kills your inner whore.

"Then spend time with Seokjin. Meet me soon." Bora said.

"Cool. You also spend time with your bestu. I'll meet you soon." Jungkook greeted as he left both of you alone. He gave you a scary look before leaving which you clearly noticed but rolled your eyes.

◉

You entered at your work place. That day you had a lot of work to do. So, you piled up all the papers needed for the work. Basically, you were working as a manager in a hotel as you want to have enough money to publish your book. You work daily so hard to accomplish all your dreams to be a writer. Being a manager you saved enough for your book and have enough to spend the rest on your own. Your work was always way to comfortable for you.

"Good Morning,____." Your boss entered at your work place and greeted you.

"Good morning boss. Do you need something?" You asked.

"I want you to meet someone. Kook! Come in." He shouted to call someone. As he called, a guy entered in the room and it's none other than Jungkook itself.

"Meet Jungkook. From now onwards he will assist you. Your personal assistant." He said.

"Dad! I'm not anyone's assistant here. I'm not doing this thing." Jungkook barked angrily.

"You have to think about that before the car accident. To be more sincere, you have to work as an assistant until or unless I'm sure you can do something on your own." Your boss hissed. You never knew that Jung kook was son of your boss. Your boss looked quite young for a big boy like Jungkook. And never did Jungkook had been in this five star hotel you worked at. You were quite shocked while giggling inside that he had to assist you. That's mean proper supremacy.

"But dad -" Jungkook been cut off by him.

"Meet _____(y/n). I really want you to work with her. She's sincere as well as profound at her work. I think you will be a good Manager -  assistant thing." You boss said. As he mentioned your name , Jungkook looks at you. He was as stun as you.

"Thanks Boss. Hello Mr. Jeon Jungkook." You greeted and try to be as professional as you want to stop him from invading in your personal life.

"Now, you both can start your work. I'm leaving." You boss said as he left your work place leaving you and Jungkook alone.

For few minutes it was like a dread silence. Only your computer making the typing sound. You don't know how to start a conversation. The only thing you know was that you should be professional with him. No perosnal talks. Only see him as your assistant or more like your boss's son. Jungkook was there right behind you still astonished and don't know from where to start. He was already feeling so sad about being someone's assistant but it made worse after realising it's you. You were his manager. Internally he hated you, but you liked him. You know he hated so much. But neither you had talked to him nor he talked to you. It was an internal war of friendship. Because both of your mutual friends were rivals. So, you both also knew you have to be each other rivals too.

"You work here?" Jungkook smirked.

"Yes, Mr. Jeon. As you're my assistant now, I'll teach what you have to do." You weirdly smiled.

"I'm not your assistant first of all. It's for my dad sake. Or I would never have to work here." Jungkook arrogantly said.

"It's okay Mr. Jeon. But I have to abide by my boss rules." You said.

"What's with Mr. Jeon? Don't you know me?" Jungkook asked smirkingly.

"Do I?" You asked.

"Dude, you're Bora's as well as Jimin's bestfriend. I clearly have seen you hundreds of times. Don't deny that you never have seen me." Jungkook smirked.

"Sorry, Mr. Jeon. But I'm at my work place. No perosnal talks please." You hesitantly said. You felt like a large piece of stone got off from your heart. You never want to talk to him about your personal matters or it would go real wrong.

"Stop calling me Mr. Jeon for God sake. Call me Jungkook." He ranted.

"Okay, Mr. Jungkook. Anything you like." You said.

" God! You're so annoying dude. No more formalities please. Jungkook only." Jungkook yelled at you. You know how to annoy people. You were just testing his patience and as expected he was way more patienceless than you have thought.

"Okay Jungkook. Call me _____(y/n) then." You smirked.

"Whatever." Jungkook rolled his eyes as he sits at the table.

He was on his phone through out you were working. You thought of giving him some work. But the way he was sitting, getting annoyed by you and those priceless smiles across his face whenever he was playing in his phone. You can't deny but you want to admire him all day long. You and Jungkook was all alone in the room. No one was there. You were working on your files and peeping at him when he was not looking at you.

"Dude, give me some work or something. I'm getting bored." Jungkook sighed as he put his phone aside and looked at you.

"I thought you don't want to work! But sure, being your manager I'll give some work to do." You proudly said.

"Only for my dad. And also I'm bored so thought doing something with you." Jungkook said.

"Something with me?" You asked. Your sarcasm is way too knowledgeable to your friends. How you turn simple things to some random jokes.

"I-I mean some work with you." Jungkook stumbled.

You told him everything he have to do. All the rules and regulations he had to follow. But at all your words he just rolled his eyes. That kind of annoying to you and you want to beat the shit out of him. But you can be a bigger annoyance than him. And you decide to be one. As Jungkook would never find you interesting or beautiful but you would force him to do so.

After the work, when you finished all your daily work and wrote down all the things you have to do tomorrow on your diary. You were ready to go to your home and work in your book and have some delicious coffee.

"Jungkook now you're good to go. See you tomorrow." You greeted him with a smile.

"So, now what are you gonna do?" Jungkook asked.

"We did all the work today so early. So, now you can go home and so do I." You said.

"Go home! Don't you have anywhere to go? Hangout or parties?" Jungkook chuckled devilishly.

"I prefer home Jungkook. Meet you tomorrow." You said and you're on your way to exit.

"Wait ____. I'm trying to start a conversation. And you're only ignoring me." Jungkook yelled.

"I'm not ignoring. It's just I have pile of work to do." You laughed

"So, if your professional life ended can we talk about your personal life?" Jungkook asked jokingly.

"No. I don't want to." You said as you left the venue for your home. Jungkook was standing there all astonished that why you react like that. Thinks if he asked you something wrong.

As soon as you reached home, you got a text from an unknown number.

You're internally giggling and smirking that it was not you who texted first but it was him. You were happy that finally you got his number. But still you don't want to show that you liked him or anything. You just want to be professional with him so that he'll beg you to talk to him. You're way too annoying and you want to show that to him. You now just want to go tomorrow and annoy him more and more.

◉

"You did well today. You should be proud of yourself!" You smiled at him.

"I'm always proud of myself. Well, now home?" Jungkook asked.

"Yeah, let me just get my things and we'll be good to go." You said as you packed your bag up.

There Jungkook standing looking at you and your curves. He was really so rude to you at first but now he was cooperating with you. He does everything you told him and obediently he did that. As you were busy packing your things. He grabbed your diary across the table to hand over to you.

But before that he looked through the pages of the diary. First few pages, you marked all your day to day plan. Yet as he turn the pages over he looked the brief description you have pointed about everyone. This was something you do whenever you find someone interesting. You always note down their physical and behavioural characteristics about them. Because in a thought that maybe it'll help you in the near future on your books. You always make your books character with attachment of the real people existed. It's kind of a thing you really like.

"His deep ocean eyes when he looked at his rival. For me it his dark hairs which he glides with his veiny hands." Jungkook louldy sang. As you didn't noticed that Jungkook already have your diary and you're looking for it. But those lines he sang just clicked your mind.

"Jungkook! What the hell? Give me my diary." You shouted at him and punched his arms.

"Dude, I'm giving. Wait, let me read some more." Jungkook chuckled devilishly.

"Give me or I'll leave." You rolled your eyes. As he gave the diary back to you. You look at the pages he turn over and generously you looked at it. Properly examining if he fold any of the pages.

"It's okay. I didn't eat your pages." He rolled his eyes.

"I'll check that up." You arrogantly said as you pick your bag up and left for home.

The lines Jungkook read loudly was actually about him. You have written everything about him which you find interesting. You don't want to reveal your secret that you liked him. But you just wished that he didn't read his name there.

As soon as you went home, you got Jungkook's text. It's now kind of become a routine for you to get text from him at night. The whole day you just spend with him and at night we wished you 'sleep well' to end the day. You can't thank your boss enough for him. He's rude but kind. You're annoying but sweet.

"Today we don't have many work Jungkook. You can take a leave today. " You said as you pile up the papers.

"It's okay, I'll help you." Jungkook nonchantly said.

"Well, I also don't have work. So, I'm leaving already." You chuckled.

"It's only afternoon dude." Jungkook sighed

"So? You're so enthusiastic to work, huh?" You asked.

"For you." Jungkook sighed under his breath.

"Wait. You're free now? Any plans for evening?" He asked.

"No I guess. Will eat and watch something so far." You excitedly said.

"Let's hangout?" Jungkook smirked

"Huh? With whom?" You dumbly asked.

"With me of course dude. You and me. I never have talked to you in person. You always so professional." Jungkook giggled

"Umm... I might be - " you got intreuppted by him.

"Please don't say no. I also want to know why every one wants you be there bestfriend." Jungkook pleased. You really want to go at the first go but you want him to plead to you. And he did, and you accepted that.

"Okay then but home by night." You smiled. 

He accepted and asked you to wait for him till he take his car at the front. You waited for him at the main door. But you saw he forget his phone at the table. And repeatedly his phone just lights up as there were messages flooded on his phone. You decided to peep into it. Your inner detective rises as you checked his phone. You know it's wrong to check anyone's personal thing but he also did first with your diary. You looked at the top messages, it's filled with many flirty girls texts, some work related texts and lastly Seokjin text which popped up as soon as you open it.

Your inner self was burning right then. You thought Jungkook was not like that but you were wrong. He was like that, a total rude brat. But before you he acts like all sweet and flirty. Yet he was totally the different personality in real. He still thinks of you as a ugly and rival person. You can't process what did he mean by 'I'll fuck a pig than you'. You were keep repeating the lines in your head. The more you imagine it, the more your blood was boiling for him. He was traitor or a chameleon who only knows how to changes colour. You can guess how he thinks about you. He only thinks about you as a ugly, little and fatty bestfriend of his rival. You just want to see him and kick him so hard and want to know why he acts like he actually interested in you.

You were already been worse , you don't want anymore to get worst. You only need to go home and drift in your blanket and sleep till you forget that Jungkook is okay to fuck a pig but not you.

You left for your home without greeting Jungkook a bye. You don't want to hangout with him anymore. You now just want him to beg you to fuck him. You're a total psychopath for this. Your ego is far more bigger than anything in this world. Either he should beg you to fuck him or you never will see his face. You know your ways how to do that. As you think, Jungkook already called you to enquire why did you left after promising for hanging out. But you declined the call. He texted you over hundreds time to know what's wrong with you. But neither you did answer. You were completely ignoring him.

The past days you just ignored him, his texts and calls everything. Everytime he comes to talk to you at interval you just passed him. If comes to ask you something you directed him to the other managers. Even ones he asked you why you were acting so differently and ignoring him. But you straight up rolled your eyes on him. He got so annoyed by your actions. He only wants to know if he made some mistakes. But more than the mistakes you feel that it's a double game. He only wants to insult you and nothing else. You also know it's better to stay away from double faced people.

You were at your workplace constantly ignoring Jungkook. You never pick any personal calls during your work. But as it's lunch time and Jimin was calling you, being a good bestfriend you picked it up.

"Bestie! You're at work?" Jimin asked through the phone.

"Umm.. yeah. Anything?" You said.

"Today, I prepared dinner for you. Specially for you. Please come over at my place." Jimin said.

"Ahhh! Jimin! Tonight I can't. There's a lot of undone work." You ranted.

"You always say this things. Shut up, you have to. Else I will pick you up. Okay?" Jimin asked smiling.

"No need to come here. I'll come, it'll be late." You sighed.

"Great bae. Love you always." Jimin sang.

"Meet you tonight. Bye." You said.

"Say it back, piggy." Jimin shouted.

"Ahhhh love you Jimin! Bye." You also sang the same way he did and declined the call. You were already tired and again you have to go there.

Someone was there to noticed all the things you were doing, it's Jungkook. He heard all the talks with Jimin. Heard the way you have a plan tonight with Jimin, the way you sang love you to Jimin and the way you were giggling all the time talking to Jimin and not him. His inner spirit boiled to know you were again talking to that little brat who was his rival and he got jealous that you never hangout with him but you at once get ready to hangout with Jimin. He couldn't sit with his inner boiling ego. He need to ask you what happened, why did you hangout with Jimin and many other questions which a boyfriend need to ask his girlfriend. Time by time there was some sudden urge which keep him engaged with you. It  could be your personality, your way of showing emotions and everything you do. He also fall for you but still didn't know it.

Jungkook just entered the room where you were working and shut the door arrogantly. You were amazed what he just did but without caring much you did your work.

"Working, huh?" He asked. You just nodded a yes.

"Free tonight? Thinking of taking you to any restaurant." Jungkook smirked.

"Busy tonight. Hope you will understand." You rolled your eyes.

"Busy tonight with your boyfriend Jimin, huh?" Jungkook chuckled devilishly. Your eyes just burned to hear that. You frowned.

"Sry, my mistake. I mean your so called best friend Jimin." Jungkook rolled his eyes.

"Jungkook, mind your own business." You shouted. He walk up to you and stand straight right before your face.

"Now,I understand why Jimin broke up with Areum. Jimin got you." He said as he pinned you at the wall. He thoroughly looked into your eyes leaving no gap. His hot steamy breath could be sensed by your cold skin. Each word he spokes makes your heart pound. His wide chest touches your torso. He was furious and angry that time you could clearly guess. But more he come nearer to you. You felt like hugging him. Instead of asking him to leave you, you just glared into his eyes. Both of you were stolen in each other eyes. No one was taking back.

"Love you Jiminiee." Jungkook mimicked you.

"Jungkook, stop it"

"Tell me that you love Jimin and I'll leave."

"What if we stand like this forever." You winked.

"Don't play with me, ____(y/n)" Jungkook smirked as he come closer to your face.

"What if I kiss you now?" You smirkingly said.

"Then do that! Jimin again got a cheater girlfriend. Poor Jimin." Jungkook giggled.

"I'm glad that he didn't get a girlfriend like Areum." You frowned.

"Mind your business. Dare not to speak anything about them." Jungkook arrogantly said.

"Who started, huh? Who's now pinning me? Who's jealous about Jimin? Who wants to take me to dinner? Hear yourself, baby." You playfully winked as you punched him to get off from him. He took a back from you.

"Seokjin is right my taste is real bad. Live with your Jimin happily." Jungkook said.

"First of all he's right to say that. Having a friend like Seokjin shows your taste. Secondly, Jimin is not my boyfriend. Lastly, don't ever dare to talk to me and fuck off." You ranted as you leave the room.

(✿ ♡‿♡) (✿ ♡‿♡) (✿ ♡‿♡)

TAGS : @mellie1409 @pariyansha @alienatedkitten @chans-baby-girl @mwitsmejk @hello-stranger24 (sry the tags are not working)

[kohanayaki]

.:Time and Time Again:. (Marauders Era x Reader) Ch 4

Snape looks back on your days at Hogwarts, how your friendship came to be, and how it came to end.

LINKS:   CH 1   CH 2    CH 3   CH 4  CH 5   CH 6   CH 7   CH 8

___________________________________________________________

Ch 4  .:Budding Feelings and the Beginning of the End:.

Severus Snape had made a lot of mistakes in his life, and seeing you again after all these years was forcing him to relive every single one of them.

He stared blankly at the wall in front of him, shrouded in the darkness and grim silence of his empty house. He never thought he'd see you again, and certainly not under these circumstances. When he'd laid his eyes on you in the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld place he couldn't believe it. He, much like the rest of the Order (except for Molly, apparently) assumed you wouldn't be at these meetings any longer. After James and Lily were murdered and Sirius was thrown into Azkaban, you'd left London and headed to New York under the Ministry's alliance with MACUSA, hoping to help bridge the gap between muggle-borns and purebloods in America. He knew you had been back to meet Harry a handful of times, but he also knew that being in this city brought up painful memories for you, so he was as stunned as anyone else to see you standing there in the doorway, greeting them as if nothing were out of the ordinary.

He could see that traveling had been good for you. He'd heard through the Hogwarts circuit that you were back on auror duty across the world, taking special assignments from Dumbledore and the Minister for Magic himself. You seemed like you were doing better, but when you turned to smile at him he could see the hesitation and the sadness that brewed behind your eyes, likely his doing.

He desperately wanted things to go back to what they were before—

Before he'd ruined it. . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   1974  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright students,” Professor Slughorn said as everyone finished filing inside the room, “today we're going to be pairing off into new partners for the upcoming project.”

Groans and nervous chatter flooded the sound space immediately, no one very thrilled with having to work with someone new out of their control. You cast a glance over to Lily who looked equally displeased. You liked being her partner, you both excelled at the subject and worked really well together.

“Yes, yes, I know,” Slughorn said, waving the complaints off, “However, I am going to be giving you the luxury of choosing your own partners this time, but everyone—”

The energy in the room instantly shifted, everyone shoving around people to get to their friends.

“—keep in mind, if I see any slacking off or trouble brewing in these new partnerships I will not hesitate to rearrange them!”

Slughorns's words were completely lost among the commotion as people paired off before you could even get your bearings. Snape stalled as he stared at you from across the room; Lily had already been dragged away by Mary, and his brain was trying to work out how to ask you to be his partner.

Suddenly an arm was slung over your shoulder and you turned towards the new presence in surprise. You looked up to see Evan Rosier, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows and his Slytherin tie loose around his neck.

Oh, sod it, Snape cursed internally. He was too late.

“Wanna partner up?” Rosier asked, a crooked grin gracing his chiseled features, “It'd be my honor to have the smartest Potions partner in class, not to mention the most attractive.”

You rolled your eyes at the praise. Evan was your friend, and he was nice to look at, but if he thought that you would be willing to do all the work for the both of you in exchange for some cheap compliments, then he had another thing coming. You locked eyes with Snape from across the room

“It would be your honor,” you smirked up at Rosier, “but I already have a partner, sorry.”

It took Snape a few seconds to realize what you were doing, but once he snapped out of it he made his way towards you. You almost chuckled at how robotic he looked as he did, clearly shocked.

Rosier looked between the two of you and rolled his eyes.

“Suit yourself, sweetheart,” he said, letting you go and pushing you lightly in Snape's direction, “but if you change your mind, you know where to find me.” He sent a wink your way that left Snape's blood inexplicably boiling,

“Thanks for that,” you grinned, “and just so you know, I would have chosen you even if he didn't come up to me, so don't get all pouty about it, okay?”

Severus just looked at you blankly. Even after four years it was frightening how well you were able to read him; for a moment he was scared that he'd accidentally projected his thoughts to you, but he wasn't anywhere near that level of legillemency yet. He wanted to say something that had some semblance of gratitude but settled on:

“Whatever.”

To which you just laughed and dragged him to your now shared desk.

You really were something else.

“Now then,” Professor Slughorn addressed the room, “today we will be beginning the new unit on toxic concoctions, starting with the Draught of Living Death. If you would all turn to page ten of your books, we will get started presently.”

You turned open your book and Severus did the same. As he did, you noticed that nearly every page was covered in small notes littering the margins, with some of the instructions circled, crossed out, or modified. You were hardly surprised, Snape had been pouring over this book since last year when he'd stolen it from a fifth year Slytherin who'd been speaking poorly of you (that last part you were unaware of).

You turned your attention to the directions, reaching over to preheat the burner so your cauldron would be hot enough by the time you began. However, as soon as you lit the flame with the tip of your wand, your cauldron shot up into the air, hitting the ceiling with a loud BANG! before crashing down back onto your table, breaking several of the glass instruments that were settled there.

Your face burned embarrassment as everyone in the room turned to look at you in shock.

“Snape, (L/n),” Slughorn said, surprised, “whatever happened?”

“I. . .” you began, not knowing what to say, “I don't know, I'm sorry, Professor.”

“Quite all right,” he said uncertainly, restoring your table and equipment with a wave of his wand, “just be sure whatever that was doesn't happen again.”

“Of course,” you mumbled, trying to ignore the snickering around you. If you noticed the way that it stopped as soon as Snape sent a deathly glare at the culprits, you didn't show it. You reached down to grab your cauldron, noticing that the bottom was dusted in some sort of orange powder. As you turned it over, a note fell out of it.

You're welcome, (L/n). Sorry I couldn't be there for the fireworks~

J.P.

“That sneaky little, ugh,” you crumpled the note, growling in frustration.

“What is it?” Severus asked, peering over your shoulder to glance at the paper. However, as soon as you tried to show it to him it vanished in your hands in a wisp of glowing embers. You turned to look at Severus who was still staring at you expectantly.

“It was Potter,” you rolled your eyes.

Anger flashed in Severus' eyes before confusion replaced it momentarily.

“But that was your cauldron, not mine. Why would Potter want to mess with you?”

And now the anger was back again. Snape was used to Potter’s crew targeting him; bullying and suffering through minor hexes had become an everyday occurrence, but when he imagined them doing anything to you it was enough to make him see red.

“Ah, well. . .” you trailed off, deciding that telling him you'd yelled at the group of Gryffindors: 'if you jerks want to have a go at Severus you're gonna have to get through me first!' was a bad idea.

“I sort of, maybe, kind of. . . started it?” you said. Severus raised a brow at you. “Look, Potter was asking for it, okay? It was about time someone messed with him for a change. And besides, it was hilarious, even Lily got a kick out of watching that broom hit him in the head.”

Severus chuckled at that, a hint of pride welling in his chest at yours and Lily's shared distaste for the Potter boy.

“But that was the last straw,” you declared, grabbing a Sopophorus bean from the bowl in front of you and a knife to cut it as per the instructions, “I'm sick and tired of him acting like he's better than everyone else,” you said, stabbing down with your knife for emphasis. The Sopophorus bean jumped as you did, sliding out from under your blade and skidding across your cutting board. You huffed as you grabbed it again, placing it back down and holding it in place. “And he walks around with that little posse of his like he runs this school!” You brought your knife down again, moving your fingers at the last second, but the bean still managed to slip away, trying to bounce back into the bowl.

“This means war!” you seethed, grabbing the runaway legume again, now at your wit's end, and crushing it in your fist. It stopped jumping as the beet-red juice of the plant dripped down your arm, and Severus looked at you with a small smirk on his face.

“Well, that's one way to do it,” he said.

“Shove off,” you said playfully, throwing the bean in his direction. He dodged it easily, his smile growing.

“No, really,” he said, almost more to himself than you as he scribbled out the word 'cut' and replaced it with 'crush' in his notebook, “you might be better at this than you let on.”

You blushed at the unexpected compliment, backhanded as it was.

“Excuse you, I happen to be fantastic at Potions,” you said, grabbing another bean and avoiding his gaze.

“Right, that's why your cauldron exploded.”

“That was sabotage,” you shot back.

“I was talking about last week,” Severus said cheekily, taking in your flustered expression.

You both went back to your ingredients, eventually discovering that crushing the beans with the flat of a knife was the best way to extract the juice without them jumping. You watched Severus out of the corner of your eye as he measured out the African Sea water, adding it gradually as he stirred the mixture counter-clockwise. The elixir turned a bright blue color, shimmering as if light were being reflected off of it. He continued on with the formula, snapping off a few fluxweed sprigs before adding them and lowering the heat with his wand, hardly looking at the instructions at all.

You wondered where this newfound confidence had come from. Severus was usually so rigid and withdrawn, but right now he looked more at ease than you had ever seen him. A spark was present in his eyes as he worked that you rarely ever saw, and it made you smile despite yourself.

The rest of your potion making process went on without a hitch, and you silently applauded yourself as you watched the other students around you struggle to get their concoctions together. Even Lily seemed to be having trouble, though Mary wasn't really helping other than offering moral support.

You turned back to focus on your own potion, stirring it with the ladle and mesmerized by the way it began to turn a deep plum color. Meanwhile, Severus was cleaning up your shared station, looking over at the brew. His brows furrowed as he examined it.

“Just stir it a bit more,” he said, coming up behind you and placing his hand on top of yours, “the color is still off.”

Your face burned at the unexpected contact; Snape certainly wasn't a touchy person, so the act caught you completely off guard, though you'd be lying if you said you didn't like it. Severus nearly jumped backwards, absolutely mortified when he realized what he was doing. It was him micromanaging more than anything; he was so focused on getting the potion right he didn't even notice he was moving his own body as he gave you the instruction.

“Sorry,” he said, feeling quite possibly the lamest he'd ever felt in his life.

“It's okay,” you said, biting the inside of your lip nervously and continuing to stir like he said. Your light response allowed Snape to relax, his shoulders lowering a full three inches. He'd been certain you would have reacted to his mistake with disgust or repulsion, but you didn't. What did that mean? You were utterly confusing. Despite how well you could read him, Severus was unable to get a read on you at all. If he had been, he would have noticed the tiny smile on your face as you stirred, silently wishing his hand were back on yours.

You and Snape stood at attention as Slughorn peered down at your potion, looking mildly impressed. He reached into his robes, procuring an oak leaf from who knows where, and dropped it into your cauldron. The leaf floated on top of the liquid for just a moment before its edges began to burn. It furled from the unseen heat, folding in on itself and disappearing into the inky depths of the liquid. Slughorn's expression lit up, his impression no longer mild.

“Merlin's beard, it's perfect!” he exclaimed, “in all my years I've never seen a pair recreate this potion exactly as you two have done today.”

You beamed at the praise, your smile only widening as you saw your emotions mirrored in Severus' face, albeit more subtly.

Over the course of your fourth year, you and Snape continued to excel in Potions, receiving much praise from Professor Slughorn and a lot of glares from your fellow students. However, there was something else that continued that year, and that was your increasing interactions with James Potter.

“I just don't get why you even bother with him,” Snape had said to you one day while you were in Potions. Your prank war with James was at its peak, and you were sidetracked that day in class coming up with new ideas to get back at him.

“It's a full on battle now, Sev,” you said, “I can't back down! Now, for my next one I was thinking something along the lines of a callback to one of his earlier stunts. Maybe get him back for tampering with my cauldron at the beginning the year.”

“(Y/n)—”

“I've got a few friends in Gryffindor, and apparently he talks about his prank plans way too loudly in the common room, so I have a head start on this one. They mentioned something about my shampoo—“

“(Y/n),” Severus stressed, finally catching your attention. You looked up at him, embarrassed at you rambling. “Why do you keep doing this?” he asked, “he's just baiting you. You know that.”

“It keeps them from doing anything that targets you, right?” you questioned back.

Severus didn't know what to say at that. It was true, ever since you had declared war on James, he and his stupid friends hadn't really bothered with him at all. Were you doing this for him? He didn't know what to do with the thought.

You were, of course, but you thought it better not to mention that in the last few months this had been going on, you'd also begun to find the rivalry and banter between you and James fun.

“Gather 'round students, gather 'round!” Slughorn beckoned the class over, disrupting your train of thought and putting an end to your conversation, “now, would anyone like to identify the potion in this cauldron here?” He gestured to a shockingly pink liquid that seemed to swirl on its own. Plum and periwinkle smoke wafted through the air above it in delicate spirals.

“That's Amortentia,” Lily said, “it's a love potion that's supposed to smell different to everyone depending on what scents attract them.”

“Right you are, Miss Evans,” Slughorn said proudly, “would you like to tell us what you smell?”

“Cinnamon,” she started slowly, “warm spices, butterbeer, sandalwood. . .” her cheeks reddened significantly, as if she'd made some sort of realization. “Th-that's all.” You stared at her quizzically but she just shook her head. You'd have to ask her about this later. . .

“(L/n),” Slughorn said, “would you be so kind as to do the same?”

“Sure,” you said, stepping up to the cauldron. It was captivating, almost drawing you in physically. “Wild lavender,” you said, smiling, your mother had a garden full of them when you were growing up, “rain when it hits the pavement, and old leather books.” Scents you wouldn't realize until much later all correlated with a certain person.

“Very different scents for very different people,” Professor Slughorn said, “thank you for demonstrating, you two. Now, we will not be brewing this potion today for obvious reasons. It is incredibly dangerous, capable of creating not true love, but unhinged obsession. What we will be doing, however, is studying its effects. . .”

“Strongest love potion in the world, huh?” Evan suddenly appeared at your side, “funny, I could have sworn it smelled just like you, although you wouldn't need a potion to reign me in~”

“Put a sock in it, Rosier,” you said, shoving him away playfully.

“Aw, come on, just one date wouldn't hurt,” he said, “I'm pulling out all my best lines here!”

“That's the best you've got?”

“Ouch.”

Snape couldn't help but glare at the Slytherin boy, not liking how close he was to you. Nice as he seemed, Snape knew how he could really be. He didn't think you'd be such good friends with Rosier if you knew he was knee deep in the dark arts as soon as the sun set on the castle. Then again, Severus wasn't one to talk.

Over the course of the year he noticed that you only grew closer to James, something that bothered him immensely. He was grateful that you had gotten his bullying to stop, but he hated that the way you had gone about it was to turn Potter into a friend. . .

“Merlin, he keeps looking over at you, Lils,” you said.

Lily and Severus looked over to where James sat with Sirius, Remus, and Peter in their corner table as usual. Somehow they always managed to be at The Three Broomsticks at the exact same time as your trio, almost as if they knew you were there. James Potter was, in fact, looking towards your table, until your friends not-so-discreetly turned to look at him and he diverted his gaze elsewhere.

“Idiot,” you rolled your eyes as you took another sip of your butterbeer.

Lily looked between you and James' table for a moment before turning back to you.

“Actually, (Y/n), he's staring at you.”

You looked at her like she'd grown a second head but then began to laugh.

“Is he? Jeeze, what a creep,” you said, but with affection in your voice that wasn't missed by Severus, “it's probably because I saved his ass the other day and he's still reeling from it.”

“Oh,” she said, a hint of what you swore was relief in her tone until she realized what you said, “Wait, you what?”

“Sirius and I were talking in the forest and we got ambushed by Malfoy's motley crew,” you said, “and Potter showed up because of course he did. It was just a little duel, no big deal.”

“What?!” Lily said, concern written all over her face, “they fancy the dark arts, (Y/n), you could have been hurt!”

Severus stared into his drink, unable to look at either of you.

“I'm fine, Lils,” you insisted, “and trust me, I don't think Malfoy's going to be bothering anyone anymore. Just show him a picture of a squid and he'll probably screech like a banshee.”

Lily laughed along with you, partially in confusion, until the first part of your statement hit her with a slight delay.

“Hold on, you were in the forest with Black? And did you just call him Sirius?” she asked, her teasing making your face flush.

“We just. . . figured some stuff out. . . It was nothing like what you're thinking, so drop it,” you grumbled, taking another drink to hide your embarrassed face.

“Whatever you say, (Y/n),” Lily sang, taking a sip of her own drink.

Severus felt jealousy bubble up in him like a disease. He cast his gaze upwards, his eyes locking momentarily with James'. His arch rival rose a cocky brow at him, his gaze unmistakably shifting to you and Lily before staring Snape down again. Severus took a sharp breath to steel himself, that feeling in the pit of his stomach never really going away.

That was the beginning of the end.

Read chapter 5 here!

Taglist:  @sleep-i-ness, @blackpinkdolan, @parker-natasha, @ornella0910 @undertaker1827 @thatwierdo-koemi @nxstalgicnxbxdy

[floresmarique]

Ok y'all since i think you loved the first one shot i shared here, i'm gonna share another angsty one with you ♡

EX LOVERS (JOHNNY LAWRENCE X FEM!READER)

Plot; You and Johnny are ex lovers, yoi broke up with him because you couldn't stand the way he used his Karate Skills to hurt other people, but Johnny loves you too much to let you go...

WARNING: This one shot contains mentions of smut and violence.

Tags; angst, badass reader, jealous and possessive Johnny, violence and fluff at the end.

Enjoy!

Two months passed since (Y/N) and Johnny broke up.

They were the most powerful couple at their school and when the news of their break up started going viral, people were shocked about it. Everyone was sure that they would have married each other because they were always together and no one ever saw the leader of the Cobras so in love. Johnny first saw her one day in the school's courtyard, punching a guy in the face that was acting like a jerk with her and constantly squeezed her ass.

She was just Johnny's type; bold, badass, hot, smart and romantic without exaggerating.

After seeing that scene, the blonde boy couldn't stop thinking about her and asked her out without thinking about it twice. Johnny was flirty and a gentleman when he was around her. She was the only girl that ever saw that side of him because the others only saw his bad side.

But (Y/N) wasn't easy to conquer and, in fact, Johnny had to ask her to go on a date with him multiple times before she finally said yes. She was a very selective girl and liked to study the boys that asked her out, much to Johnny surprise, he was the only one that got the privilege to hang out with her. When she once saw him in the Cobra Kai dojo, her interest towards him raised even more. She was fascinated, also by the fact that a gentleman like him also practiced martial arts.

On their first date, Johnny first took her to a Karate lesson in the Cobra Kai dojo since she was curious to see the their practice. She found him quite hot with his gi on and with that determined expression on his perfect features. Johnny smirked in her direction many times, sending her winks that made her roll her eyes. All his group of friends knew that she was his girl and respected her like an equal, they for sure didn't want to mess with Johnny but envied him since they secretly thought that (Y/N) was beautiful.

They went on the beach soon after the end of the lesson and spent the night together, sharing their very first kiss there.

Since then, (Y/N) was officially Lawrence's girl. He made sure to mark his territory by giving her his Cobra Kai red leather jacket so that she could wear it at school. Everyone that saw her with his jacket, knew that it was better to not mess with her because it would have meant to mess with Johnny Lawrence too.

And Johnny swore to himself that he would have done anything to protect her and to keep her with him forever. He was sure that he would have lost his mind if (Y/N) decided to walk out from his life. Johnny never told her, but he always imagined a life and a family with her when they were dating. The things he felt with her were something he never experienced with any girl before and, even tho he never admitted it because of his ego, Johnny felt also protected by her.

Everytime she held him in her warm embrace, he felt safe. Johnny thought that she was the only good thing in his life, considering the troubled relationship he had with his father. She was the glue that kept him all together when he felt like falling and she was also the only person that saw him cry and knew his vulnerability. They both learned about each other's flaws and slowly accepted them, making their love grow even stronger.

They were the ying and the yang and needed each other to have a balance. (Y/N) always saved him from making bad decisions and, in fact while staying with her, Johnny always thought twice before doing something bad. Before her, he always tormented other boys with his Cobra Kai's friends, just for his own entertainment and fun but (Y/N) had a talk with him about that and since then, Johnny listened to her.

She was the only person that Johnny listened to, the only one he trusted and the first one he loved. He had various girls before (Y/N), including the well known Ali, that (Y/N) despised with all her heart even before she started dating Johnny, because she couldn't stand her bragging and her costant need for attention. (Y/N), unlike Johnny, wasn't the jealous type and knew her worth but Johnny was the opposite, always glaring at every guy that checked her out even from afar.

But that Halloween night changed everything.

When Daniel LaRusso first met (Y/N), he didn't know that she was the girlfriend of the Cobra Kai leader and when he saw her on the beach with some friends, the boy tried to talk to her. (Y/N), being the gentle and humble girl she was, smiled at him and had a little conversation with him. He told her he was new and she was just reassuring him about school when Johnny and his group arrived to the beach with their motorcycles. (Y/N) wasn't expecting to see him there since he had told her that he had to practice Karate a lot that day but the problem was the anger filling his blue eyes at the sight of his girl with that new kid.

"The hell are you doing with my girl, uh?" His voice was loud and rough, his fists clenched while he towered over Daniel's figure, that slightly flinched and backed off in a defensive way. (Y/N) grabbed Johnny's shoulder and softly spoke to him, but the blonde never left Daniel's face while she tried to explain to him that nothing was happening. His face was red for the anger and all his friends were behind him, watching the scene like they were at the cinema.

"Mate, i'm sorry, i didn't kno-"

"SHUT IT, PUNK!" Johnny yelled and kicked him straight in the stomach, making him fall on the sand. (Y/N) stood there feeling disappointed and then helped Daniel, that shoved her hand away while he rested his hand on his stomach.

"Don't fucking help him-" (Y/N) slapped him, hard. It was the first time she did something like that to him and Johnny stayed silent while he held his cheek, feeling his skin burn before rage took over him once again. "Why the fuck are you defending him, uh?"

"What is your problem? What the fuck is your problem, Johnny?" Despite being angry at him, her tone of voice was still calm.

"What is my problem? No, what is yours. I saw how close you were walking with that scumbag."

"Johnny we were talking, jesus, he wasn't even flirting with me!"

Johnny shook his head, not believing her. A flaw that (Y/N) learned to accept, was his incredible jealousy. She argued with him various times about it, saying that it was toxic in any relationship and she didn't want that. Johnny tried, he tried so hard to stop that unpleasant feeling in his chest and stomach, but he couldn't control it. He was scared to lose her because under all that cocky attitude, Johnny was insecure and knew that there was something wrong with him.

But he never told her that.

After the event on the beach, they both had a long talk and (Y/N) decided to not throw away the one year relationship with the boy she loved without giving him a second chance. They tried to forget about that and Johnny contained his jealousy towards Daniel, which (Y/N) was happy about. Daniel never talked to her again after the beach, probably afraid of Johnny, but that made the job of the blonde easier.

Until the Halloween party.

(Y/N) was dressed as Catwoman while Johnny and his friends were all dressed as skeletons. They were having a great night, so great that Johnny couldn't keep his hands off (Y/N). He hugged her from behind, whispering stuff in her ear that made (Y/N) giggle. Johnny was proud to have her on his side and liked to show her off despite his jealousy, because he knew he was lucky to have her.

"Johnny!" (Y/N) giggled. "Stop it, we are in public." But she didn't try to walk away when he spun her around so that he could give her a quick peck on the lips.

"You just look so hot dressed like this, baby..." He mumbled, caressing her shoulders covered by the tight leather suit. "I just need you."

"You are so clingy, Lawrence." (Y/N) chuckled, rolling her eyes. "But i must admit that i'd love to see what a skeleton can do..."

Johnny didn't need anymore words after those. They immediately ran in the boys bathroom, hand in hand while some giggles left (Y/N)'s mouth. Once they lost their virginity to each other, Johnny and (Y/N) started to experience a lot with their sexual life. It wasn't the first time they were leading to a bathroom to get carried away by their carnal insticts. The first time they did it in the school's bathroom, it was during the prom night. It was goofy and quite a funny experience, but still pleasant.

"God knows what i'd to you right now..." He mumbled in (Y/N)'s ear once they reached an empty cabin in the bathroom. She had her back against the wall while Johnny attacked her neck with needy kisses.

"Then show me..." She whispered in a seductive tone, making Johnny groan. He fumbled with the zip of her suit eagerly, knowing that he had to be quick. They, of course, preferred to take their time in bed but didn't want to give up on an exciting quickie in the bathroom.

And so they did it, between low moans and messy kisses in the tiny cabin. For Johnny having sex with her wasn't just a physical thing, it was mental. He knew that he would have never felt pleasure with another girl because the connection he had with (Y/N) was what made everything better for him. He loved to be inside of her and admired they way her eyes closed when the tip of his member slowly entered her hole, he loved to caress her flushed cheeks and to look at her deep in the eyes while doing so.

Johnny's level of passion was the same as his level of jealousy. (Y/N) adored how passionate he was, how he didn't only made love with her body but also with her mind. His ragged warm breath was like a melody for her and she loved the way his blue eyes never left her ones while pushing inside of her body. They touched each other's bodies with urgency, like it was the last time they would have made love.

And, sadly, it was.

"I love you so much..." Johnny breathed against her lips after they both reached their climax. (Y/N) instantly smiled and caressed his messy locks before giving him a sweet peck on the lips. She was sure she had some of his face paint on her mouth but she didn't care.

"I love you too, Johnny." She sweetly whispered. (Y/N) knew she had to get out of there quickly since it was the boys bathroom, so she opened the cabin and fixed her suit along with her hair and the smeared face paint on her chin. After she was done, she looked over at Johnny and noticed that he was already all fixed, rolling a joint while grinning at her."You're not coming?"

"Just give me 5 minutes, alright?"

"Okay, but careful with that...thing." She wasn't mad about him smoking, but she wasn't a fan of that either. However, Johnny only smoked joints during parties and not everyday, so she brushed that off. Once, he even tried to make her smoke one but she coughed at the first puff and completely gave up.

Johnny chuckled before nodding his head.

"Ok, mommy."

They shared one last loving glance before (Y/N) walked out of the bathroom, looking around to see if someone saw her getting out of the boys toilets. While walking in the big crowd, she noticed someone dressed as a literal box shower. She furrowed her brows before laughing, shaking her head.

"Hey, where's Johnny?" Dutch's voice made her turn around and the sight of the Cobra boys all dressed as skeletons was quite the show for her. "You sure do know where he is, am i right?"

Dutch knew where Johnny was. It wasn't something new, it happened almost at every party, but he still enjoyed to tease (Y/N) about their quickies.

"And i'm sure you know too, so why are you asking?" She smirked and took a drink, hearing the boys chuckle.

"You two fuck like horny rabbits, damn!" Dutch exclaimed, making his friends burst in a loud laugh.

"I think you're just jealous that he gets some pussy while you still don't." After her bitter remark, they all howled while Dutch scoffed and looked down, shaking his head.

"Okay, i gotta give you that one, high five?" He held his hand up, looking at (Y/N)'s eyes that were adorned by the black Catwoman's mask.

"High five!" She chuckled and slapped his hand with her one, taking a sip from her drink. They stayed there and chatted a bit, making jokes about the worst dressed people there. (Y/N) enyojed their company and was glad to have them as friends, thanks to Johnny. Minutes passed and she was still waiting for her boyfriend, till she heard loud shouts that she quickly recognized; Johnny.

She saw Daniel run as fast as he could before Johnny reached the spot where she and his friends were. His hair were completely wet and his face paint was melting thanks to the water.

"We need to get that fucking piece of shit!" He angrily stated and the boys didn't even hesitate, but (Y/N) wanted an explanation. She needed it and so she called his name before he could follow Daniel with the others.

But it was too late, because Johnny was full of rage.

The first thing that came up in (Y/N)'s mind was to follow him and she impulsively did. After getting out of the school, she noticed that a car incident happened and knew that it was because of them. She could kinda see them running from afar and followed their steps in the cold October weather, feeling her heart beat faster after every minute. She didn't want Johnny to do that again, she didn't want to fight with him or to see Daniel's beated up body laying on the ground.

She had to stop that.

She saw them stopping in a spot that she supposed was close to Daniel's home. The brunette boy tried to climb on the wire mesh but failed after getting surrounded by all the boys. Johnny grabbed Daniel from his collar, even under all the face paint (Y/N) could still see his expression full of anger.

"You had to push it, now you gotta pay!"

And that's when the first kick came.

(Y/N) walked closer to them with a ragged breath, her legs were weak after running so much and she reached for Johnny's body, trying to stop him. She called his name over and over again and cried while she saw Daniel getting completely destroyed by them. They acted like she wasn't there, till Bobby spoke.

"Johnny leave him now, he's had enough!"

"I'll decide when he's had enough!"

"No mercy!" Dutch exclaimed, keeping Daniel's weak body still.

"Johnny, please!" (Y/N) cried more and grabbed his arm, trying to move him away. Bobby finally noticed her and kept telling Johnny that he had to stop or else Daniel would have died.

And then the worst thing Johnny ever did happened; he punched (Y/N).

She fell on the ground, holding her bloody nose with her hand, her eyes were full of tears and he didn't even notice. He kept kicking Daniel in the stomach, (Y/N)'s sight was blurred for the tears but she felt like she would never forget Johnny's pleasant expression while hurting someone else, someone weaker than him.

That could be me. She thought to herself, crying while the warm blood touched her shaking lips. Bobby kneeled down, shocked about the fact that his dear friend punched his girl, the one he always tried to protect from everyone else and was now bleeding because of him.

"(Y/N)!" Bobby called her name, breathing heavily. "Are you okay?"

Before something else could happen, an old short man showed up and all (Y/N) could see was how he made all the boys, Johnny included, fall to the ground with moves she never saw before. Bobby tried to defend his friends but ended up on the ground with them with a painful groan. (Y/N) met the old man's gaze and he gave her almost a compassionate smile before taking Daniel's passed out body with him, away from that spot.

Before standing up, she saw Johnny opening his eyes slowly, but he soon regained energy when he finally realized what he did to her. (Y/N) quickly stood up and cleaned the blood with the sleeve of her suit, walking away with trembling legs.

"(Y/N)!" Johnny called out her name and tried to stand up, failing. "(Y/N), please, come back!"

But (Y/N)'s silhouette became more and more blurred out as she walked away from him.

And after that night, they broke up.

Johnny tried, he tried so hard to talk to her everytime he could but (Y/N) always avoided him, which then led him to knock on her door at 2:00 am on a cold night after a week from their break up. He was knocking on the door furiously with his fist, crying and shouting desperately at it, so hard that a vein was becoming more and more prominent on his neck.

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR (Y/N)!" He tugged at his own hair and at the skin of his face while kicking the door. He looked like he was out of his mind, but he knew it would have happened if she would have walked out of his life. The situation, however, was even worse because she left him for something he did. It was all his fault and it made him lose sleep and hunger, devoured by his own thoughts. "Please- baby, open the door-"

His fist was now only tapping slowly on the door, his body was collapsing while he rested his cheek against it, eyes squeezed shut and tears covered his cheeks. Johnny Lawrence wasn't the same anymore and even his friends noticed it, they couldn't handle him anymore. After (Y/N) left him, he became worst than before, venting all his negative emotions over other people, and one day it even happened on his best friend, Bobby

All the poor boy did was waving at (Y/N) when he saw her at school but Johnny was vulnerable, too vulnerable and out of his mind to brush off that little gesture. He beated Bobby up, infront of everyone at school, included his beloved (Y/N). His friends tried to stop him but Johnny was a beast, with a strenght that couldn't be appeased.

Johnny remained completely alone after that and when the school called his parents to tell them about Johnny's actions, he had an heated discussion with his father that Johnny ended with a punch in his dad's face, without even feeling guilty after.

"YOU FUCKING DESERVED IT!" Johnny yelled, his mother crying in the corner at the sight of her son that she didn't recognize anymore.

Johnny's life was falling apart and it was all his fault.

"I WISH I NEVER FUCKING MET YOU!" He breathed heavily against (Y/N)'s door, rage was building up inside of him again. He started knocking harshly on the door one more time till (Y/N)'s father opened it and immediately grabbed Johnny by the collar of his shirt. They were at the center of the entrance, the lights were all turned off and for a moment he inhaled the air of the house; it reminded him of her and of all the good times they had there, like the first night she made him meet her parents and had dinner together. The man that was looking down at him with gritted teeth and was holding him by his collar, was the same man that trusted him completely and wanted him to marry his daughter. Trust that Johnny broke when he saw his daughter with a bloody nose and with tears sliding down her face.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGTHER YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" (Y/N)'s father yelled in Johnny's face while his wife watched everything from afar with a sad expression. She liked Johnny too and, even though he made a big mistake, she still felt compassion for him but knew that he needed to stay away from (Y/N).

"(Y/N)!" Johnny called her desperately, not caring about her father's grip becoming tighter. He knew he could have easily punched the man in the face, but it was the father of the girl he loved with all his heart, he knew that she would have completely cancelled him from her life if he even tried to hit her father. "I just wanna talk to her- please!"

"SHE DOESN'T WANNA TALK TO YOU, WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE!" The father kept yelling "YOU BROKE OUR TRUST AND HER HEART, YOU'RE NOT WELCOMED HERE ANYMORE!"

And then he saw her.

Johnny saw his girl, standing barefoot with a light pink nightgown on the stairs. Her arms were crossed on her chest, her fingertips were caressing her elbows, almost like she was trying to comfort herself. Her hair were messy and her eyes watery but he still found her stunning. He always did. A small sincere smile formed on Johnny's mouth at the eye contact they had and he couldn't help but to cry.

"Tell him you want me, (Y/N), please tell him!" Johnny hoped to hear her say those words but nothing came out from her trembling mouth.

"Can't you see? She doesn't want you anymore. Now go away before i punch your stupid face, your karate shit won't save you."

"I'm not going anywhere-" Johnny stated "-not if she wants me here."

"STOP!" (Y/N) yelled, fully crying. "Will you just s-stop this?"

Her mom walked towards her, hugging her tightly to her chest while caressing her head to calm her down.

"(Y/N)..." Johnny's voice broke, his stomach turned at the sight of her crying like that. Her father glanced at her and loosened his grip on Johnny's shirt, pushing him away.

"Don't come here again." The man said, more calmly than before. "Or i will call the police."

The last thing Johnny saw before her father slammed the door shut, was the way (Y/N)'s wet eyes looked at him, with so much delusion and sadness that completely destroyed him since he was used to see her eyes full of joy and confidence.

He ruined everything.

And after two months of (Y/N) not wanting to hear from him ever again, Johnny decided to use a new card; jealousy.

He knew it would have been difficult with her since she wasn't the jealous type even when they were dating but he had to try everything to get her back. He would have tried even after 30 years, he didn't care, he just wanted her back.

It was a windy friday night of January when (Y/N) and her group of friends decided to spend the night in a new local in California. It had music and also some games inside, it was mostly filled by teenagers or very young adults. (Y/N) was sat at a table next to some of her friends while the others were dancing and she was enjoying a pizza, chatting with them.

"I really like this new place!" Her friend Mia said, stealing a slice of pizza from (Y/N)'s plate. She just chuckled and nodded her head, agreeing to her ftiend's affirmation. After she finished eating, (Y/N) stood up to walk towards the dance floor and started to sway her hips to the beat of 'Fresh'. Colorful lights covered her body and she laughed with her friends, commenting on some weird dance moves people made.

She wasn't having real fun like that since her and Johnny split up so she made sure to enjoy it, leaving her mind empty from the negative thoughts that reminded her of her blonde ex.

That was till she saw the subject of all her worries on the other side of the dance floor with a tall brunette, dressed with a short and skimpy blue dress. Johnny whispered something in her ear that made her giggle while he rested one hand on her hip, dancing to the song. He looked up just to meet the only eyes he always dreamed at night, staring at him with an emotionless expression.

Johnny felt disgusted at himself for even thinking someone like (Y/N) could be jealous of the girl he was dancing with. He looked at (Y/N)'s body and immediately inhaled at the sight of her black tight skirt hugging her perfect thighs so well. Her red lips were curved up in a sly smile while she kept dancing with her friends, still checking on him sometimes. He still felt warmth in his chest at the sight of her and lust filling his blue eyes but he had to work on his plan anyway so he got closer to the girl infront of him and grabbed her waist, moving his hips against her ones to the beat of the song. Her giggles made him want to scream but he was too determined to tell that girl to fuck off.

He needed to get his true girl back.

While dancing with the brunette, he kept his eyes on (Y/N)'s figure and his breath got caught in his throat when she slowly raised her arms to touch her hair seductively, making some boys turn their heads towards her. Johnny counted all the people that were eyeing her and his blood started to boil, especially because she wasn't his anymore.

Johnny perfectly knew what she was doing; she was acting like she didn't care, making him understand that she could never be jealous of the girl he was holding.

And it was working perfectly.

Johnny needed a reaction from her, he needed to see her snap, needed to see if she still cared. The blonde inhaled before cupping the girl's face in his hands, closing his eyes and kissing her harshly. The brunette didn't hesitate and even tried to deepen the kiss but Johnny didn't let her do that, he just wanted (Y/N) to see it, to notice it.

And she did, stopping her dance moves suddenly as she stared at the scene with flushed cheeks. She felt like everything around her disappeared, leaving the scene to his ex boyfriend kissing another girl after two months since their break up. Her nostrils were flaring and she felt a tickle in her eyes but didn't let not even a tear slide down her face because she didn't want to make him win. When her friends started to call her name, she snapped out of her thoughts.

"Hey, are you okay? It looks like you've seen a gho-" Mia started but stopped when she noticed Johnny on the other side of the dance floor, snogging another girl. "That's even worse than a ghost."

"I need some fresh air." (Y/N) simply said, her tone was cold.

"(Y/N), he's not worth-"

"Who said it's because of him?"

Before her friends could say something else, she walked towards their table and reached for her coat, putting it on quickly. Once she did, she finally went out of the local and immediately felt wind brush her heated cheeks, her hands were drowned in the large pockets of her black coat while she slowly walked on the sidewalk.

As soon as Johnny saw (Y/N) walking out of the place, he grinned and pushed away the girl that pouted and tried to grab his wrist but Johnny completely ignored her.

"I don't even know your name!" She screamed, crossing her arms to her chest.

"You will not need it!" He shouted back but, before he could reach the handle of the door to follow (Y/N), her friends stopped him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing." One of them said and Johnny couldn't even remember all of their names. When him and (Y/N) were dating, both the Cobras and the girls started to hang out together but Johnny didn't really care about them, (Y/N) was his only concern.

"Seriously, Lawrence, leave her alone." Mia added, making Johnny roll his eyes.

"I think your friend is old enough to take her own decisions so your words are pretty irrelevant if you wanna know my opinion."

And just like that he left the local, seeing the angry faces of (Y/N)'s friends watching him through the glass window. He also saw (Y/N) walking infront of him, her back was turned but her scent and her beautiful locks of hair flying in the wind were the only things Johnny needed to know it was her.

"(Y/N)!" He called out and she stopped in her tracks before shaking her head and walking faster but Johnny, thanks to his long legs, was faster than her and quickly reached her side. Cold smoke was coming out from their mouths while (Y/N) kept ignoring him, looking forward. "Even if you ignore me i still exist, you know that, right?"

"That's the main problem." She sternly said, making Johnny chuckle. Her sassy and defensive attitude reminded him of the first time he asked her out.

"Can you just listen to me?" Johnny deeply sighed, admiring her beautiful features under the streets lamps.

"And why would i?" She scoffed "You were making out with someone else 10 minutes ago."

Johnny felt a little victorious after he realized his plan worked and she still cared about him but tried to contain his smirk.

"I did it just to get your attention." Johnny spoke and, when she tried to walk faster, he gripped both of her wrists and blocked her between him and the wall, holding up her wrists at the sides of her head. He noticed how she slightly flinched when he touched her and his heart broke at the realization that she was scared of him. He loosened the grip but still not enough to let her go. "You always avoided me, fuck- this was the only way!"

"A pureblood horse can't be jealous of a pony, Johnny."

Her comeback made Johnny smirk, he missed her savage remarks since they were also one of the thousands reasons why he loved her.

"I know." He nodded "You think i don't? No one compares to you."

They looked at each other's eyes and gulped, Johnny was already feeling his heart beat faster and his eyes get watery.

"But why did you leave the local then?" He asked, noticing how she tried to avoid eye contact with him. He obviously knew the answer but only wanted her to stop ignoring her feelings. "You still want me, (Y/N), and i-"

"I'm scared of you, Johnny!" Her voice broke while she stared at his eyes again, a single tear sliding down her cheek. "Seeing you do that- i thought that someday, the one getting beaten up like that would have been me."

The pain Johnny was feeling in his chest was even worse than the one he felt after (Y/N) left him. He couldn't bare with the feeling of her thinking he could hurt her, even if he did that by mistake.

"You're not serious- you can't be serious right now." Johnny refused to believe that, shaking his head from side to side. His eyes were full of tears and his palms were sweating. (Y/N) only looked down, nodding her head.

"I am serious." She coldly affirmed. "Can you leave my fucking wrists now?"

"Will you try to walk away?"

"Depends on you."

Johnny slowly left her wrists but still stood close to her, towering over her figure. She drowned her hands in her pockets again and looked at the boy, waiting for him so say something.

"It's funny that you think this of me when the first time i ever saw you, you fucking punched a guy in the face." Johnny scoffed, shaking his head and (Y/N) widened her eyes in disbelief.

"Are you really gonna use that card, Johnny?" She shook her head in disappointment, crossing her arms to her chest. "I punched that guy because he was harassing me and you know that. It's completely different, don't even try to compare the two things."

She was right and he knew that but he still couldn't believe that she thought those things about him.

"You fucking punched me Johnny, can-" She burst into tears while she spoke and Johnny did too, acknowledging all her worries and the reason she left his side.

"I'm so sorry, (Y/N), i'm so sorry-" His voice was shaking and he tried to caress her cheek but she moved her head away. "I'm so stupid, i just- i just felt so jealous towards that dumbass because the image of you and him on the beach never left my mind-"

He paused and sighed before speaking again.

"I know nothing happened but i'm scared, i'm scared to lose you forever because i know that something is wrong with me- but i lost you anyway thanks to all my sick thoughts. I was blinded by the rage of that same image repeating in my head, i didn't even realize it was you, i-"

Johnny completely fell apart, crying like he never did before. (Y/N)'s heart broke at the sight as she cried with him and looked down, biting her bottom lip to calm herself down.

Johnny raised his head and closed his eyes, inhaling some fresh air.

"I just-" He stared at her wet eyes when she looked up again after hearing his voice. "I just need you to put me back in my place when i'm about to do something wrong, need you to call me dumb everytime i make a stupid joke, need to feel your fingertips playing with my hair before falling asleep- i need you (Y/N), i need you in my life now and forever because i'm lost without you, all i see is a miserable future. I can't forget you, i will never do and the thought of you not being with me is gonna devour me for the rest of my life, i- i can't ever hurt you, fuck, i can't, i love you-"

"Johnny..." (Y/N) whispered, crying even more at his words. The blonde stopped talking when he heard her call him and stared at her for some seconds before he suddenly kissed her, holding her face in his big hands. (Y/N) kissed him back with the same desperation as she gripped his arms, tugging at his jacket. They both cried at the taste of their lips after so long and only separated their mouths to smile softly while looking into each other's eyes.

"I love you so much, baby, so much-" Johnny mumbled against her lips and caressed her smooth cheeks, placing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I love you too..." (Y/N) sniffed and gave a little peck on his knuckles.

Johnny hugged her tightly to his chest, never wanting to let her go again. He felt happy at the sensation of her body between his arms and kissed the top of her head, his nostrils were full of her scent that he so much missed.

"Are you my girl again?" He asked, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"Yes." She nodded before jumping in his arms again, kissing his cold lips once more. Johnny surrounded her waist with his arms and lifted her from the ground without leaving her lips. Warmth expanded in his body while feeling her against him again and he mentally told himself to become better for her. Johnny felt lucky, exactly like he felt when she accepted to hang out with him the first time since she alway refused the other boys.

He swore to himself that he would have never lost her again while he spun her around on the sidewalk.

They were back, even stronger than before.

[maiyasuniverse]

A Call Away

Pairing: Loki x Black Reader

Warnings: violence, sexual assault. Toxic Friends

Summary:

"Come on girl you're making us late." Alexis said taping her fingers against the wall. You took a deep breath and continued fixing your hair.

"You guys can go without me I think I want to stay home. My camps are making me feel like shit. I'd be no fun." Natalie rolled her eyes.

"You're never any fun but you're our way in. The guy throwing the party likes you. You're coming end of story." You had been friends with them since middle school but things were changing and this just goes to show things aren't changing for the better.

"Well you could just take your ass home too and we all have a good nights rest." You rolled your eyes before standing up. "Get your shit and come on. I'm not staying long." You wrote Loki a note saying that you would be back later on tonight and that he should wait up for you if he gets there first.

The party wasn't far since your apartment was still on campus. Walking up you could hear the loud music and rowdy crowd on the other side of the door.

Walking up you hear them laughing among themselves about some bet. They probably had something dumb planned for the night. The man watching the door nodded his head and said something about Nate being happy you were there.

As soon as you walk through the threshold your group of three turns into two. A pang of hurt finds itself luring in your stomach. You make your way to the kitchen to find Nate making drinks.

"Y/N I didn't think you'd come." He poured something in a cup and held it out to me. "It's Tequila." Then held the liquor bottle up for you to see. "Only the best for you." He smirked.

You pushed the unsettling feeling to the back of your mind and thanked him for the cup. Telling him that you two would never be more than friends would be useless because you've said it so many times before.

After your first few sips your sight became hazy and your body tired.

"Woah Y/N if I knew you couldn't handle your liquorI wouldn't have made it so strong. Let me help you upstairs." You tried to push his hands away and decline his offer but he still pulled you up the stairs.

"Let me help you into the bed. I hope I didn't give you too much." You giggled now fully sedated my the roofie he'd slipped in your drink.

"Thank you Nate, I really don't feel too hot. I have a hot date tonight and this is totally going to kill it. Will you pass me my phone so I can call him?" You couldn't hear Nates response over the cold breeze that swept over your tight and stomach. You tried to feel for the fabric so you could pull it down but it was cut.

"Nate there's something wrong." You pushed yourself to sit up but was quickly pushed back down. "Please." You found yourself begging. You could feel yourself coming to again.

"Shhh be quiet. Wouldn't want anyone to catch us. You know I always thought you fat bitches were disgusting but you're so soft," He feather kisses across your stomach and exposed chest making you sick.

"Please stop." You found yourself thinking to a certain god who you were supposed to watch Disney movies with tonight. Before you could think about it you whispered "Loki help me please." Tears were rolling down your cheeks.

"This is-"

"What exactly is this." Loki ripped the man from your body. "It looks to me as if you're abusing my woman."

Nate stood at the corner of the room half naked and lost for words.

"Five seconds and I will seriously freeze you." Loki waved his hand and looked back to you.

"Oh my sweet girl." He pulled you up and sat you at the edge of the bed. He sat his hand on top of your head and the dazed feeling instantly left your body. "Let's get you back dressed." He waved his hand over your cut open bra and dressed and fixed them instantly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to miss our date. Alexis and Natalie asked me to get them in and then he gave me a drink. Nate was my friend and he tried to rape me. I thought he was my friend. What if they set me up." Loki grabbed your hands and kneeled down.

"Breathe and close your eyes. Deep breath in." He did the breathing exercises with you until you saw yourself getting dressed and Loki was standing to your right. "Before we walk through this I want to know that you're up for it. I know that you're not going to be okay no matter how many times you say you are. I also want you to understand that whom ever was involved in this is going to get what they gave."

"I'm ready."

TBC....

[angelmavmurdock]

Our Little Secret: Part One - A.R.

Word count: 1541  Summary: y/n moves from New York to New Coal Creek and meets a girl that would change her life forever.

-

Reader POV

The drive to New Coal Creek, West Virginia was a long ride. I had no idea what house my parents had bought and had no idea what this little town was like. My family and I were coming from New York. My daddy was in real estate and he owned a lot of places in the city. But after having a really bad illness for a while, he had to stop taking on too much stress. So, they decided to move - 'they' being my parents. I had to go with them whether I liked it or not. I left my friends, my boyfriend and my school behind.

I was popular in New York; the captain of the cheerleading team with a boyfriend who was captain of the football team. Him and I had sworn we were going to get married. But he broke up with me as soon as I announced I was leaving, which I couldn't blame him for. So maybe leaving the city was good for me.

Ma reached behind from the passenger seat in the car and rubbed my knee to awaken me.

"y/n, we're nearly there." She spoke softly.

Ma was from Ohio, brought up with 3 brothers and two rich parents but she moved when she was in her twenties to New York. Daddy was also from New York and he was much the same: 2 brothers, 1 sister and two rich parents. They hadn't faced many troubles in their life and now I was just the same: an only child with two rich parents. I loved my life, but sometimes I wish you wasn't in the toxic popular group...but now, in this town, things could be different.

I sat up, rubbing my eyes as you readjusted in the leather seat of the car.

"Coal Creek, West Virginia." I read out loud on the old, rusted sign by the road.

"Are you excited?" Ma asked with a beaming smile.

She didn't live in Coal Creek when she was younger but she was happy to be back in a Southern state. Mostly because she wouldn't feel out of place by her soft Southern accent which I had inherited instead of the harsh New York dialect daddy and my peers had.

"Yeah...hopefully they have a cheerleading team I could join." I smiled weakly, looking out the window.

It was an odd place, the cars on the road weren't top end and the roads weren't either. Buildings and houses looked more like barns and cottages than huge brick fancy buildings.

"We're not livin' in one of those are we?" I asked, raising a brow as we passed through a neighbourhood which was clearly poor.

"No, we're living up state." Daddy said with a smile.

"Is the house nice?" I asked, leaning forward to rest my chin on daddy's seat.

"It's gorgeous. You'll love it." He smiled.

We continued driving through the village and we soon came to an up-winding road that was wide and smooth. You could already tell the difference between this tarmac and the pot-holed sheet on the regular streets. The car wound up the road, it felt like we were in the middle of a forest as tall trees lined the sides of the road lusciously. Soon we slowed down and we drove through two pillars which once had a gate. Then we turned a corner and the house was revealed.

It was a beautifully painted white mansion. There were four pillars at the front of the house, supporting the balcony that wrapped around the outside of the upper level. The door was painted deep blue along with the shutters covering the windows.

I gasped as the car came to a stop. We all got out and stood in front of the car, just admiring it.

"It's beautiful!" I exclaimed.

Ma smiled next to me, rubbing my back.

"Right, take your bags upstairs and start unpacking, I need to lie down after that." Daddy sighed, stretching.

I felt a pang of sadness course through me as he grabbed some bags from the trunk and began taking them inside.

Ma and I shared a look of guilt before taking our stuff inside.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The week quickly went by and we were adjusting nicely to the new town. It was very different from New York but it was quaint and the people were nice. I felt at home, strangely. I think it was because I had the same accent as everyone and Ma felt more at ease. She didn't like New York much, but she loved Ohio.

It hit Monday and it was the first day of school for me. It was the middle of March but I had to continue school until July if I wanted to graduate this year. And I really wanted to. I had the grades; I was a straight A student. But I didn't know what Ohio schooling was like or what the people were like.

I contemplated wearing a cheer outfit but I decided against it. Instead, I wore a baby pink dress that ended just above my knee. It was an A-line dress so it complimented my figure nicely. The neckline ended just at my neck and it had short sleeves. I wore patent black shoes with little heels and my hair was in a low-ponytail, wrapped in a pink silk ribbon.

I had packed my bag with pencils and pens and notebooks and I came down the stairs, excited to start school.

"Look at you! You look gorgeous, darlin'." Ma kissed my cheek and Daddy did after.

"Remember to ask about cheerleadin'!" Ma called after me as I headed for the front door.

"I will! Bye!" I waved with a smile and left the house.

The walk from our house to anywhere in town was relatively long but I liked walking, it calmed me.

I had been to town in the car so I knew where to go, but I realised very quickly as I walked through, I was different.

Everyone stared at me like some kind of movie. I just kept a smile on my face and walked to school. School was even weirder.

As I walked nervously around the school grounds, heading for the door, I noticed boys in denim staring hungrily with toothpicks in their mouths and girls looking on in judgement.

"I wonder where she came from dressed like that." One girl sniggered.

"Daddy bought her a new dress, I think." A guy commented.

I swallowed and entered the school, ignoring everyone around me.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

People got to know me quickly in school. I was the talk of the town. Everyone knew I lived up-state, everyone knew I was from New York, everyone knew how my parents were rich and everyone knew I was powerful. Well, they thought I was. I didn't feel powerful. I felt out of place. I was thrown into the popular group once again but they got me into the cheer team without any audition which was good.

By my third week of school, I was lunching in the dining hall with the popular group. It was established that I was the 'innocent' one of the lot. I was the only one with straight A's and I was the only one who knew how to play piano and speak French...everyone was taught these things in New York, especially in the private schools. But everyone in that group had lost their virginity...I was still to have that experience. The boys made fun of me which was expected but it was all fun and games, none of them tried anything.

It was Thursday and I was studying in the library during my free time. There was no one else here apart from the old librarian who slept at her desk. But the doors to the library swung open, awakening Mrs Peters and startling me.

"I am so sorry." The girl whispered, mortified at the level of noise she just made in a library.

I smiled at her, I felt bad. She smiled back. She was pretty and she looked smart, holding multiple books in her arms as she walked towards me. She sat the books down opposite me on the table.

"Can I sit here?" She asked in a whisper.

"Of course." I smiled, moving some of my books out the way.

"Thank you so much...hey,"

I looked up at her.

"You're that new girl aren't cha'?" She asked quietly, accent panging through.

"Yes I am." I smiled.

She grinned, "Shouldn't you be hanging out with your friends?"

I sighed, "I'd rather graduate than party."

Her smile grew even wider. She seemed so kind.

She presented her hand in front of me, "I'm Lenora."

I shook it, "I'm y/n."

"Nice to meet you, y/n." She smiled.

Lenora and I ended up ditching studying all together and hung out in town until we both had to go home. We were so alike and we clicked just like that. We exchanged addresses so if we ever came over we would know where to go to. She was already my best friend and I immediately felt at ease.

A/N: This is the start of a new mini series! i hope you guys enjoy it <3

[notbleachtea]

Favorite Shirt

Okay time to post again. Slight warnings, mention of death, toxic relationship, slight emotional abuse.

Word count ~2.9k

"Tch, I guess it’s about time I clean my desk. I can't work with all of this crap on it." Jotaro annoyedly says.

While cleaning off the countless stacks of paper he pauses. All desire to clean is quickly knocked out of him. He sits back down in his desk chair holding the group picture you all took in Egypt. He glances over each face in the image, some happy memories, some not so much. He would give anything to go back in time to change the way things played out. So many stupid mistakes. His eyes immediately halt when he gets to yours. His face expressed sorrow and longing.

His favorite memories of the two of you start to come rushing back to his head, and for a moment, he smiles. The constant flirting that always occured between the two of you. The silent stares you each felt from one another. No matter how much the others teased you two, you still weren't sure if admitting your feelings was the best idea. You each had your own reasons for keeping distant. The mission was much more important anyway, and so was your friendship.

He recalls one of his favorite memories with you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a long week of tiresome stand battles, the closer you got to Egypt, the more intense they became. He noticed this was taking quite the toll on you and made the gang find a hotel that night so you could get some much needed rest. In the meantime he suggested that you use him as a pillow in the car on the way there.

Honestly, you took him up on the offer. You took everything you could at the time knowing that it would never go any further no matter how bad you wanted it to. Your head rested on his large chest, which was surprisingly soft for how tough he was. Every now and then he'd tug on his hat to cover his face when in fact he was just trying to steal a few glances at your peaceful, resting figure.

"Alright, we're here, group up and we'll get going into our rooms," Joseph states.

"I ca-"

"She's staying with me. There's no discussing it." Jotaro then picks you up and carries you to your room.

You started to wake up from the movements and the background noise going on in the hotel, and the first thing you saw was Jotaro's face when you opened your

eyes.

"Clearly I must be dreaming," you thought.

"Look who decided to wake up." he scoffed at you. "Really left it up to me to carry you all the way up here."

"I'm so sorry! I won't let it-"

"That's enough. I was just kidding anyway. You fought really hard today, it's the least I could do."

You smiled back at him as he set you down on the bed. That was honestly all the thanks he needed.

"Anyway, I'm going to go get something to eat, I'll bring something back for you if you want, but you should probably get some real rest soon."

You began to crawl up into the bed in your dirty and torn clothes from the day you just had.

"Good grief, what do you think you're doing? You're really going to sleep in a nice clean bed in your dirty clothes??"

"Well, I don't really have any clean clothes left right now, so, unless you have a better ide-"

You were quickly cut off with a soft hit to the face. Jotaro threw one of his clean shirts at you.

"Here. You can use this. It'll be more comfortable anyway."

Jotaro had left to go pick up some food and when he came back he was greeted with his favorite shirt filled with his favorite person. Wearing only that shirt made you look much smaller than you actually were, it practically went down to your knees.

"Thanks Jotaro! I promise I'll get it back to you as soon as I can."

"Keep it. It looks better on you anyway." He cooly tried to say as he pulled his hat down over his eyes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After everything that had happened in Egypt, you just wanted to get away from it all for a while. Go out on your own to a new place with no reminder of the loved ones you lost and all the feelings you never acted on. As a thank you for your hard work, the SpeedWagon Foundation offered to pay for everything of whatever you decided to do. You thought maybe you'd try going to school in America for a while. It was great, you had all the experiences you grew up seeing in movies and on TV. You made plenty of new friends there and even dipped your toes in the dating pool.

Right after you finished school, you and your boyfriend got married. You thought that's what you ought to do, you've been with him for so long. Everyone thought you were the perfect couple. He always took you out on extravagant dates and bought you expensive jewelry. Every girl wanted to be you. But that was only because they didn't know what happened behind closed doors. He never physically hurt you, not many people could, I mean you could hold your

own in Egypt, you're pretty tough, but mentally, he knew you were weak. You would confide in him in the beginning of your relationship about all your friends back home that you missed. He never let you call home or talk to them either. The ones you could never see again. Everytime he wanted you to hurt he would just remind you that they were dead because you weren't there for them, you weren't strong enough to save them. Countless letters came in from your friends and family and he'd throw them away before you could see them. He would even tell you that no one was writing to you anymore.

Every now and then you manage to chat with Jotaro. He'd call you on your lunch break at work from time to time just to play catch up. Asking things like 'how's life?' and 'are you doing okay?' and the sort of thing. Everytime you told him you were doing great. You love your husband and you even try to brag about how well he treats you by describing all the luxurious gifts he's been buying you. Everytime Jotaro ended the call saying he was happy for you and then a

quick update on his life.

To be honest, Jotaro wasn't falling for your phone calls. He knew something was wrong, but he never knew how bad it really was. He thought it was strange that you never wrote to him or called him outside of your work hours. It was also strange how you never really went into depth about your personal life either.

One fateful day, you're having a routine call with Jotaro when your husband decided to stop by to take you out to lunch. He asked the secretary why your door was closed to which she simply responded, "Oh, she's talking to her childhood friend Jotaro! He usually calls about this time every week."

He walks into your office catching you off guard while you're still on the phone. The shock alone causes you to drop the phone with a quiet screech.

"Y/n, are you there?" Jotaro stays on the line worried about what he just heard.

Your husband shuts your office door leaving just the two of you in there and is yelling just loud enough to where your coworkers can't hear him.

"I thought I told you no one wanted to talk to you anymore? They're all fed up with you, can't believe you let your friends die back in Egypt. They'll never

forgive you for that."

"You're right I'm sorry just please don't do this here."

"What makes you think you can tell *me* what to do? That's not how this works. And who gave you permission to talk to other guys? There's going to be some serious consequences for this when you come home." He walks out of your office smiling at all of your coworkers like nothing had just happened, followed by a shut of your office door and your muffled cries.

"Y/n?? Are you still there? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"Wh- what did you hear?" You managed to squeak out, choking back tears.

"I heard enough y/n, he's not a good guy. I knew something was wrong. We have to get you out of there."

"No. This is my life now. I don't need your help, I told you I'm perfectly fine."

"Y/n I'm not kidding, you have to get out of there *now* and I won't take no for an answer."

"I can't, okay! I have nowhere to go. No one would believe me if I said the things he's done to me. Anyone who I try to run to just rats me out to him and the situation gets worse."

"Y/n, go pack your most essential things while he's out of the house. I'm buying you a ticket home for tonight. You'll be safe here this time tomorrow."

The instant care Jotaro had just shown you only causes you to cry more. How could you let yourself get like this? You really weren't okay. You were just too headstrong to admit anything was wrong.

"Thank you." You were able to muster through even more tears.

After picking yourself up off the floor and drying your face, you left your office, no intention to come back. You rushed home to grab only your essential items while your husband was finishing his day at work. You grabbed a few sets of clothing, your toothbrush, hair and makeup accessories, a few pairs of shoes, and your folder of important documents. Everything else was replaceable and or retrievable at a later date.

You take a deep breath and get the courage to call a ride to the airport.

Free from your husband's control, you weren't scared to text or call Jotaro on your own phone now. You called him letting him know that you were on your way.

One short plane ride across the ocean later and Jotaro was waiting there for you to take you home. You're not sure how long he was there for but you're convinced he was waiting there since before you even took off.

"Y/n, over here." He waves you over.

You walk over shyly and ashamed of what he had witnessed just the day before. You couldn't even pick your head up enough to look him in the eyes.

"Y/n it's okay now. You're here with me, he can't get to you right now."

"Ye- yeah I guess you're right. So where do I go now?"

"C'mon, I'll take you back to my place."

"We're stopping there before the hotel?"

"I'm not letting you stay alone right now. You're staying with me at my house. The only reason I let you fly alone was because it got you out of there faster."

Jotaro takes your bag and you both head to the taxi.

"C'mon short stuff, get those legs movin' faster."

"Hey! Not everyone can be freakishly tall."

Jotaro raises one eyebrow, "So I'm a freak, aye?"

"Sorr-"

"Don't apologize, you're already more vocal when you're free around here. I like it."

The taxi drops you two off at his house. The drive felt like an eternity when in reality it was only a few short minutes. You stared out the car door window in awe.

*So this is what he's been up to this whole time*

"Well c'mon now, let's get inside."

You quickly follow after him like a lost puppy.

"There's a spare bedroom upstairs and down the hall, why don't you take this time to relax and freshen up while I make us something to eat?"

"You really don't have to do this for me Jotaro, but I appreciate it."

You head upstairs with your bag. It really was a long flight. You decide to take a quick shower and put on some clean clothes.

About an hour goes by when Jotaro comes by your room to collect you.

"Dinners ready y/n."

"Okay, I'll be right out, I just have to put some makeup on first."

"Uhh, what for? We're not going out anywhere."

"I don't know. I just always do. He always made me wear makeup, even at the house, I guess I'm just used to it."

Jotaro quickly turns around and starts heading towards the kitchen, but not without leaving a remark, "well don't. You look better without it anyway."

You follow soon after him with a fresh blank face. The table has already been set beautifully and you can already smell your favorite dish. He brings over two plates of food followed by a new bottle of wine.

"Why don't we catch up for real this time?" He asks.

Hours go by at the dinner table along with a few bottles of wine. The two of you bickering just like the old days. You missed this. You needed this.

You finally caught a glimpse of the time and stood up to help clean up the table.

"You don't need to help clean this up y/n. We can even clean it up tomorrow. Why don't we go talk in the living room for a bit longer?"

You move forward as an attempt to get to the couch, finally realizing how much you actually drank, you're quite tipsy in fact. Jotaro moves over to the couch to join you. Sitting side by side he grabs your hand with a guilty look on his face.

"Y/n, I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's all my fault."

Clearly he's a bit tipsy too if he's actually trying to admit being at fault right now.

"None of this is your fault Jotaro, what are you going on about?"

"If I was just straight with you when we were younger. If I actually had the courage to say something to you. Maybe you would have stayed. Maybe you would've ended up with me instead. Instead I thought you were too good for me."

Your eyes start to swell up. "Don't say that. Ever. I'm the one that's not good enough for you. Why would you ever want someone like me?"

"Well, you're you, that's why. You're strong, you held your own in the desert, you tried your hardest for us and you made it out. I've never met anyone as strong as you, and to know that someone took advantage of you? And I wasn't there to protect you? I'm so sorry for all of it."

Now full on ugly crying again, Jotaro wraps his arms around you and pulls you in for a hug.

"I'm so sorry Jotaro. Can you forgive me?"

He lifts up your crying head by your chin and brushes all your loose pieces of hair out of your face. He holds you here until you return the look into his deep aqua eyes. He moves forward, crashing his lips into yours. There was no hesitation on your end, you kissed him back just as hungrily. Neither of you needed words to figure out what the other one was thinking. You could feel the admittance of your love for each other from just that embrace. Jotaro pulls back and pushes your head into his chest so he can hold you once again. He pats your head.

"It's all okay now, I'm sorry it took this long," and he leaves a kiss on the top of your head.

The moment is only ended by your yawning since you've been up for lord knows how long. Jotaro picks you up and carries you in his arms to his room. He notices the slight confusion in your face.

"I was thinking maybe you sleep in here with me tonight, kinda like old times?"

"Okay, just let me go change into my pajamas. I don't want to get in the nice clean bed in my dirty clothes.".

You walk back into his room in just his old t-shirt you kept from the desert.

"You really kept that old thing?" He spouted.

"I really did. It's how I kept you close that whole time I was gone." You said with an embarrassed smile.

"It really does look better on you ya know?" He says through a full face of blush. Just seeing you again in that shirt made him think of all the things he wanted to do to you now and then.

You moved to go lay down alongside Jotaro in his massive bed. He always wanted to know what it'd be like to hold you in his arms in his own bed.

Jotaro pulls you into his chest to hold you tight, with no intention of letting you go. He places a delicate kiss on your cheek. You squeeze his hand as a subtle sign of acceptance and nuzzle into his broad figure.

“Goodnight y/n. Sleep tight.”

[jjaeong]

And If I Still Have Feelings, Will You Accept It This Time? (Triple Threat Confessions).

Series:  KPOP Girl Group: 이달의 소녀 (LOONA).

Pairing: Kim Hyunjin & High School Student/Idol Female Reader.

Summary: Y/L/N Y/N was never the center of attention when she was a student, she was never really recognized by her peers because she blended in so well in the academy—until news broke out after their graduation that she was debuting as a soloist under a big company. With that, Y/N’s name grew into the entertainment scene, her songs topping the charts—even having enough credit to be called in to guest MC for a KCON event, which the idol did not even think twice about accepting. As rumors of Y/N being assigned to the Global Girl Group LOONA’s event, both artists’ fans were thrilled with the interaction. Well, you could say other than Y/N and LOONA’s second member Kim Hyunjin—who blatantly had confessed to having feelings for the soloist before they she had debuted.

“You’re looking again, Y/N-ah? Really? You do know about the dating rumors between her and Jeon Heejin.. Right?”

Your eyes stayed glued on the view outside the window, chin resting on the palm of your hand as you continued to watch the Track team jog down the field—particularly on the laughing brunette who won’t stop smiling to herself while she pushed a few of her teammates, teasing her for some reason you could only wonder about. The girl made a turn around the track so your view of her flushed features were blocked, giving you the opportunity to scan the field for the figure that usually lingers somewhere around the area. And there she was, impossible to miss—stunning visuals even from your view through the window of the fourth floor, Jeon Heejin, on her phone as she talked to her friends and a few followers flocking around her.

She didn’t seem to be paying attention to her best friend at all, almost as if she just decided to drop by and talk to the Track Athlete—who also doubled as the second member of the idol’s recently debuted girl group—before leaving and continuing about her day, coming back after classes to walk home with the girl.

“Seriously, if I was Kim Hyunjin I would be worried that you’re my Sasaeng or something..”

“Will you cut it out? She’s just watching—God, you act like Y/N is obsessed with her. Everyone’s acting like they’re obsessed with Kim Hyunjin and Jeon Heejin!”

They were right about one thing though, about everyone being obsessed over those two, you couldn’t entirely understand it but you had guessed that everyone suddenly wanted to be friends with the two because they were idols. But through your eyes, they were just like you—just two girls finishing their last year in High School, and excluding the fact that none of your schoolmates knew that you had already signed a contract that locked you into the idol life after you’ve graduated. But some of your closest friends knew, and the said close “friends” being ITZY’s Shin Ryujin—who was actually the one that told you about being friends with the two, and endlessly raved about them as you mentioned that you were schoolmates.

All of this happening while these girls around you, these "friends" of yours who knew nothing about how you’d cover it up to them that your late night expeditions were just cram school but in reality—it was actually practice. 

Though watching this was insane to you, the sudden spike in recognition—people they’ve never talked to acting like they’ve been friends forever, being pulled to the side for a picture, all the attention they’ve never had suddenly there because.. They became a figure. You could say that you were watching the two not because you were in awe, but rather—taking notes, what to do and what not to do, and you were learning a lot. And with the information you gathered, you’ve concluded that Kim Hyunjin and Jeon Heejin really are good people, but for now at least—you didn’t want to be associated with them. 

Just for the entire potential pre-debut drama that might come with it after you’ve debuted.

“They’re really pretty.” you commented, just to entice whatever reason it was for your classmates trying to converse with you for. They were never really your friends, and definitely are not after the continuous spiteful remarks they’d pitch in whenever they’d hear about the two idols.

It wasn’t that you hated these girls, but you just can’t be friends with people that are overpowered by envy.

“Of course they are, they’re idols, Y/N. Ugh, whatever—I’m going back to my seat.” you didn’t even bother to check if they actually had left, but you just kept your eyes locked on Kim Hyunjin who was now sitting on the field. You continued to observe until your teacher entered the room, which made you tear your eyes away from the scene to stand up to greet her along with your classmates.

Completely missing Kim Hyunjin’s piercing gaze directed on your figure through the window from the field.

“Come on! Aren’t you the least bit excited? You’re debuting in three days!” 

You had stayed in school for a bit longer after being called into the faculty, your adviser reminding you about the award that would be given to you in the ceremony for your debut date—asking you if you were still going to go for it, and congratulating you along the way. And just as you were slipping your shoes on, Ryujin called to suddenly bombard you with congratulatory messages—all while you can hear the speakers behind her blasting ITZY’s songs which had meant that the girl was currently practicing, but decided to call you through her break.

As if you weren’t going to get Tteokbokki later once she’s finished, something about it being an advanced celebration for both of you graduating and your own debut day—because you would both be too busy on the said date.

“I’m too hungry to think about that right now, you know how I’ve been on diet since last week's photoshoot—this is the only time my manager said it’s okay to eat whatever I want..”

“He’s scared of me, as he should be. I’ll beat him up if you pass out in the practice room again..”

“Seriously, Ryujin you are—”

“Kim Hyunjin!” you stopped just before the entrance of the building, tentative steps pulling you closer to the side of the building. The back of an unfamiliar schoolmate of yours was the first image that had greeted you as you peeked—making you clamp a hand on your mouth, stepping away from their view once you saw the dark look casted on the face of the track-suit wearing idol who looked down at the girl with the yellow letter in hand.

“Please accept my feelings, Kim Hyunjin!”

Your heart hammered heavily in your chest, quickly tapping the red button on the screen of your phone—something that you can only apologize to Ryujin for later, but that isn’t important right now. As of the moment, you knew you weren’t supposed to be lingering—you should be willing yourself further to leave the area because this was something private, it was a situation that can only be resolved by the two people involved, but all you could think of was that..

You wouldn’t know how to deal with this either, this was a girl and—it wasn’t entirely wrong for idols to have same sex relationships because even the opposite would be considered a scandal. If Kim Hyunjin were to accept this.. If she were to even consider this.. Right now just when she had just debuted..

“Why?” Hyunjin’s cold voice pierced through the silence, the tone even making your own heart drop but your mind quickly raced to find an explanation you would use if you were in the idol’s place.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to sound so harsh—I just can’t be in a relationship right now, I’ve just started my career..”

“I—well, you’re cool! And you’re pretty! You like the things I like—”

“I’m really sorry, maybe we could at least be friends?”

“No! There’s more! There’s..” the girl pulled her phone out to show Hyunjin something, making the idol lean a bit closer to stare at whatever it was and from the way her lips pulled into a frown—it was something that had made her even more upset, somehow, “I went to your first fan signing event, and look—even the 1/3 one too! Look, if you would just give me a chance—”

“And that’s enough for you to say you love me?” your fingers clenched around your phone at the dry laugh Hyunjin let out, your patience wearing thin as the idol continued to push the poor girl. The girl stammered for a moment, making you slightly peek to find a look of disbelief on Hyunjin’s face—not at all seeming to be mocking the girl but actual concern, as if she wanted to actually get into the root of why she had confessed in the first place.

For a moment, once you heard her dry laugh—you thought that the girl had really lost it, with her idol mask dropped. But how she had carefully stared at the girl, how her fingers seemed to dig themselves into the hem of her jacket.. She was worried.

“You only love me.. Because I’m an idol?”

“Stop—I didn’t say that! You’re putting words into my mouth—why are you being such a bitch!?” Hyunjin visibly flinched at the sharp tone of the girl who fumed at her statement, making you also tense up in your spot.

This.. This isn’t supposed to be how it’s supposed to go. The unknown girl was just supposed to walk away crying, something along those lines but not hate on the girl—she says she loves her but.. This isn’t..

“Your name is Yoon Jiyeon, right?” the idol asked, inhaling deeply as the toxic girl stayed silent—giving Hyunjin enough time to straighten herself and give her a polite smile, “Jiyeon-ah, thank you for being my fan. But I think you should consider how you treat people first, be kinder to them—because if you end up actually liking someone, and this is exactly how you treat them.. Jiyeon-ah, you’ll end up alone.” you could feel the blood draining from your face at Hyunjin’s unfiltered words, knowing that it was enough to put the final nail in her career’s coffin if it ever got out. 

And with the sharp sound of the girl’s hand connecting with Hyunjin’s cheek, your phone dropped in your hand and the sound made Hyunjin’s vacant eyes snap to yours, which quickly widened as she realized that it was you.

“I got that all on voice record—I knew this would happen, say goodbye to your career Kim Hyunjin!” the girl sneered at Hyunjin before turning to leave, which made her face you—the annoyed look on her face flashing into shock for a moment, until it snapped back to annoyance once more.

“What are you looking at, loser? Get lost!” she hissed as she walked closer to you, aiming to walk past you as your eyes stayed locked on the phone she shakily held in her hand.

What were you thinking?

“Yah! Give it back!”

You should’ve just minded your own business.

“No—How dare you humiliate me! You bitch!”

You just wanted to watch, like the usual.

“Run!” you felt a hand grab yours, dragging you away from the girl and the crushed phone by the side of the wall as your feet did it’s best to keep up with the speed of the girl that pulled you past the school gate—with the girl that you both had just left screaming as she practically pulled her hair out. The burning in your thighs didn’t cease, your head turning to face the image of the girl you had always watched from the fourth floor window—smooth dark brown strands of hair lightening just as the sun setting in front of you two caressed them, the cold evening slowly creeping in but that didn’t matter at the moment.

You just ran, wherever the girl was leading you through the side-walk with her laughter in the background—you just followed.

“..I can’t believe that just happened!”

She’s even more prettier up close.

“I really thought I was done for—you’re crazy, Y/N!”

Her voice.. How is it so soothing?

“I need to get a new phone..”

“Ah—give me a second,” you looked back at Kim Hyunjin who was now sitting next to you on the bench outside of the ice cream store, both of you holding onto a popsicle that was her treat as she fished something out of her pocket, reaching over to grab your free hand and place your phone which now had a cracked screen on it. You frowned at the sight which made Hyunjin laugh, leaning back on her seat as she looked across the street and to the view of the sun setting over the river—her eyes moving back to your figure as you sighed in relief when the device seemed to still be working, opening a series of spammed messages which you quickly replied to.

Hyunjin wondered who the contact name Ryujin was.

“I’ll get you a new phone on my next paycheck.” your alarmed eyes quickly snapped to Hyunjin’s unbothered ones, making you shake your head as the sides of her lips almost pulled into an amused smile—but she had stopped herself.

“That’s not necessary—I was actually on my way out when I decided to snoop around, It’d make me feel bad if you’d think this is your fault..”

“So? Feel bad then.” you gaped at the bluntness that came from the idol, not expecting that she wasn’t all cookie cutter—even with how she handled the girl from earlier, she didn’t have to act like this with everyone.. Or can she?

“Y/N-ah, you’re from class 1B right?” Hyunjin asked nonchalantly, as if you didn’t really have to reply because she knew everything already. Though it almost felt that way, you can never be too sure so you just nodded—looking at the scene in front of the both of you. 

She didn’t really need more people staring at her at this point.

“This might sound stupid, since Heejin and I’s name’s are practically always mentioned during every assembly but—I’m Kim Hyunjin. Nice to finally meet you.”

Finally?

“How did you know my name? Hyunjin?” Hyunjin didn’t reply for a moment, so you turned to check up on her—apparently, she was just caught up staring at you before she blinked, forming an ‘o’ shape with her mouth. Furrowing her brows and looking as if she was trying to remember where exactly she had heard your name from, and when she had finally recalled it—she smiled at you.

“I was checking out clubs when we first transferred, you were the only one in the music room and a member approached me before I could talk to you. There weren’t any meetings that day apparently, they told me your name.” you knitted your brows in confusion, not being able to recall a memory of her—other than when you started watching them from your window of course—but this was oddly surprising, that she had known you way before you knew her apparently.

“Did they tell you, or did you ask?” you bit a piece off of your popsicle, not really seeing the question as a serious one—just a simple way of getting to talk with her more, but since Hyunjin didn’t respond you decided to apologize and tell her it was a stupid question to ask. But before you could even speak, Hyunjin laughed—more to herself than at your question, making you look at the grin plastered on the girl’s face.

“This can’t be real..”

“What can’t be real?” Hyunjin looked at you, something meaning to be said deep behind her eyes which made her laugh again and rise from the seat, glancing down at her melting yellow popsicle as she stood in front you—the sunlight casting an orange glow at the gentle eyes that had directed themselves at your curious ones.

“What?” you pressed further, making Hyunjin lean over to get in eye level with you as you did your best not to slightly move back because the position somehow made you a bit uneasy.

“I asked,” Hyunjin answered, making you release a barely audible hum in reply—counting down the seconds until she could finally give you some space to think, but as Hyunjin’s grin got bigger when you avoided her gaze she decided to give you what you want. Leaning back to her height and staring at the road behind her, “because I thought you were pretty.” she shrugged, making you almost drop your popsicle in your hand.

“But then I started to look for you everywhere, you know—not just in school, but mostly in school. You’re really hard to look for, do you know that, Y/N?” you gripped the wooden stick in your hands as you tried to think of what to reply but Hyunjin got back down to your level, hands resting on her knees as she eyed your popsicle stick and her own before trying to get you to look at her.

“You’re always in your classroom, in lunch you barely stay in the cafeteria with your friends—I see you in the library, in the courtyard, but after a few minutes you’re moving to another place. Y/N, the year is already over and you’re still all over the place, around this time you should already be home—”

“I was in the faculty, my adviser said she needed to talk to me.” you mumbled, which made her raise her brow and sigh as she looked at you—who continued to refuse to meet her eyes. How was it that the girl you've been watching from afar since her debut—was actually watching you at the same time? Even before you had been watching?

“..right, but you do know what this means right?” you turned to look at the expectant gaze of the idol, an inquisitive look on her features as you stared back with an contemplative expression.

“You’re confessing to me?”

“Yup, I know it sounds weird but—I just feel it, and I don’t even know you that well so.. There has to be a reason, right? I was planning to confess in graduation too!” you sighed, looking away from the girl as she stood back up on the soles of her feet to finish up the remains of her half-melted popsicle as she waited for your reply.

“Is it.. Because I’m cool? I’m pretty? Because I like the things you like..?”

“Hey! That’s not fair—” Hyunjin’s heart fluttered at the sight of your lips pulled up into a grin, followed by a laugh at the recollection of what had just happened and how that was practically the most odd thing that had ever happened to you—other than being scouted to be a soloist for one of the biggest idol companies in the entertainment industry.

Which reminded you..

“I’m sorry,” the idol tensed in her spot, the light feeling in her chest slowly disappearing as your smile turned into a somber one, “You don’t deserve to have your career hurt for liking a person of the same sex as you are.” you stood up from your seat, eyeing the darkened sky before meeting the look of disbelief on Hyunjin’s face.

“Is it because you’re.. Straight?”

“What? No—it’s because you’re an idol—”

“So? You’re not, is it because I’m—"

“Hyunjin, please listen,” you had placed a hand on her shoulder which made the girl’s wry smile quickly wiped from her face at the sight of the look of frustration on your features, inhaling deeply before shaking her slightly, “it’s not that I don’t feel anything for you—but this is not the right time to be thinking about yourself. There are literal lives on the line if you let yourself have this—it’s not just you, not just your members.. But your team, your employees, your fans that only wish the best for you until you reach the top.”

“I have feelings for you, Y/N. Can’t you see that—”

“I can see that you do, Hyunjin. But,” you stared at your hand on her shoulder, trying to find the right words to say as she continued to stare at you in anticipation—no matter how much it had pained her, she had seemed to need to hear it from you unless she wanted to carry it with her until her last breath. Taking your hand off her shoulder and staring at her with a determined look on your face, meeting the clear dejection in her eyes, “not right now, this can’t be about us—because we’re almost there. We’re so close to reaching our dreams and.. We’d just both get in the way of that, you need to let this go.”

Hyunjin just stood there, staring at you as you reached for your bag on the ground—taking in a deep breath before meeting her eyes for the last time, thinking if you should say any more to the girl that stared at you with a blank expression on her face.

“You’ll achieve great things, Kim Hyunjin. I’ll see you around.” 

You stared down at the cue cards in your hand, biting the inside of your cheek before looking away from it to look through the windows and find your fans and LOONA’s fans excitedly waving at you—it was heartwarming to see, both of you and the group’s fans in such good terms under such bad weather conditions yet they still looked thrilled to be watching this unfold. The main MC stood next to you on the stage for an opening speech about the group as you plastered a small smile on your lips as she did so, completely clueless about the whirlwind of thoughts you were currently having at the memory that had played nonstop in your mind since your team had mentioned which group you were assigned to.

Ryujin’s cackles echoed through the memory as well, remembering how you had met her in the Tteokbokki place with distraught features—looking absolutely stunned as you sat there in front of her and told her what had just happened. And once it was publicly announced that you had gotten LOONA.. Maybe you shouldn’t have picked up that phone call from your best friend that had her laughing through most of your conversation, and she even called you earlier to wish you the best of luck—but to also laugh into the receiver as well.

Though you and Hyunjin had never spoken to each other since her confession, it didn’t stop you from giving her group your support. It wasn’t hard at all, they were great and you actually were into their concept accompanied by the lore—you even went out of your way on one of your lives to converse with your fans about their theories, and of course this had reached the members.

And with the members hearing about you, singing a few of your songs—Heejin mentioned that you did indeed come from the same school, that you were in the class directly in front of theirs. There were numerous questions directed at Hyunjin in that live as well but you were quick to leave the clip, not wanting to see if she had actually ended up hating you or whatnot. But as you went about your days, your fans hadn’t mentioned anything so you had guessed that the girl didn’t really speak much of you—which was great, that means that what happened that evening was just between the two of you and had involved no one else.

Though it did have you wondering if this was her purposely brushing the encounter off, if she had done this because she knew this would hurt both of your reputations—or she had really saw you in a different light, the opposite of how she had seen you back then. It didn’t matter now, really—idols have disputes, it happens, but in truth it would sting if it’s between you and Hyunjin. You were only looking out for the girl, you were more concerned about how she had seen her career than you had wanted to keep yours clean—you saw the surprised look on her face once you were crowded by paparazzi in the ceremony, she should’ve known your intentions were clear by then.

But if she ended up hating you for it, there wasn’t really anything you can do.

“Im Yeojin!” the MC announced as the nine other members stood on the sides, the Maknae waving in a formal manner to everyone and even going out of her way to walk over to you and shake your hand—which had you laughing in no time, shaking your head as the girl threw a heart sign at the camera before it was your turn to announce the next member.

Of course, it had to be you.

“Kim Hyunjin.” you couldn’t meet her eyes so you settled on looking down at the cue cards, hoping that both of your fans hadn’t caught up on your aversion by going through the words written in them just before the woman next to you announced Heejin’s name. You looked up from the cards in your hand, expecting to find Heejin already in place—only to directly look into Hyunjin’s eyes, making the both of you quickly look away from one another, with Hyunjin almost tripping on her own feet as she scrambled to stand next to a concerned Yeojin.

“Unnie, are you okay? You look pale.”

“Be quiet.” Hyunjin shushed the member, the mic catching the nervousness in her tone that echoed through the feedback of everyone’s earpieces—making her members glance at the girl just as they did their usual greeting before looking at the main MC who continued introducing the girls as you smiled at the camera.

“So how are you feeling right now Y/N? With this being the first time you’re guest hosting?”

“I’m a bit nervous, actually—it’s the cue cards that I’m afraid to mess up, I’ve always been a fan of LOONA so..” Chuu squealed from her spot while Yves grabbed onto Olivia Hye’s arm to start dramatically singing your most recent song, the intimidating girl making you flustered when she returned the girl’s energy. The members ended up trying to one-up one another for your attention—except for a silent Kim Hyunjin who had a small smile on her lips as she just nodded—so the main MC quickly asked them to take their seats before it got too much about you than the group. The event had passed faster than you’d expect it to, even though you and Hyunjin barely had any interaction—her members were too soft to ignore, they made your first hosting experience go smoother than you could have ever imagined it.

But if you thought you could easily slip out of the girls’ hold that fast, you should think again—because just before they were supposed to make their way to the dressing room to get ready for their performance, they were quick to engage a conversation with you which almost felt as if it would never end until their staff called for them. So you took this as your cue to leave, bowing before turning to head to the stage when you felt fingers wrap around your wrist—making you turn in your heels as you were dragged into a less crowded area in the set.

“What—”

“I still have feelings for you.” you choked when you met Hyunjin’s glare, your eyes locked on the idol who looked almost as if she sprinted from the dressing room the second she was done getting changed—because she had donned her stage outfit, contrasting her members that just lingered to talk with you.

“This isn’t the right time to be talking about this—”

“You told me to forget about it, right? But how can I do that if I see you everywhere, hear you everywhere—do you hate me this much? Y/L/N Y/N!?” Hyunjin’s grip tightened around your wrist but you didn’t wince, the image of the girl’s eyes slowly brimming with tears made you glance at the staff who passed by yet didn’t seem to see you two at all—so you made a move to shift the distraught girl even further out of view so you stood in a way that blocked her from being seen by anyone. Placing your hand on her own that were on your wrist to give her a calculated look.

“Don’t cry here.”

“It's still about them? After all these years you still don't think about yourself? Y/N—"

"I was watching you, before—the same way you did with me," you carefully told her, watching her angered expression slowly turn into a look of confusion as you felt her fingers loosen around your wrist. A small smile on your lips as you scanned her features, "after that evening, I found myself doing the same thing you did—with looking for you everywhere."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hyunjin grumbled, sniffling as you melted at the sight, even though it was a painful scene to watch. Reaching over to tilt her head up so her tears don't smear her makeup, she looked even more confused but still let you place your fingers on her chin.

"I guess you can say that your confession made me realize that I wasn't only watching you because I wanted to prepare myself for when I become an idol," you swallowed sharply, trying your best not to lose your train of thought at the sight of Hyunjin continuing to stare at you, "I think it's just funny how the first thing that came to my mind after I debuted was that I needed to talk with you. You know, after I told you to forget about it."

"Is this.. You confessing that you like me?" Hyunjin took your hand off her chin, holding it firmly as she squinted her eyes at you as if trying to see if you were kidding or not.

"Why? Does it sound like a setup? I'm trying to tell you I like you back, it took some time to think—"

"But you still won't date me?" you opened your mouth to reply as Hyunjin raised her brow, swiftly grabbing ahold of your neck to pull you closer to her and making you yelp, almost actually falling into her hold—but Hyunjin was strong enough to hold you both in place, the closeness of your faces making your mind flash back to that evening but also fully recognize how mature her face has gotten.

"But you still can't kiss me?"

"H-hey, I told you—I've just come into terms with liking you, you're pushing your luck, Kim Hyunjin—"

"You're the one pushing your luck, I've liked you for years and you think I'd just let you get away with acting like this?"

"Yah! Kim Hyunjin! Where did that girl run off to.." you had reflexively pushed Hyunjin off of you, making her stumble back as you turned to face a clueless Haseul who had her brows knitted—but as soon as she saw you her eyes lit up and a warm smile eased your flustered state.

"Y/N! Have you seen Hyunjin anywhere? She left the dressing room earlier looking a bit under the weather, but Vivi and Gowon are almost done.. If you see her can you—"

"I'm here, I'll catch up later." you felt your heart stop once Haseul's eyes moved from you to her member, to then move back to you—making her smile turn into a smirk before she nodded.

"Right.. Later." Haseul snorted before waving at you and meeting Heejin down the hallway who was complaining about Yeojin bothering her—the sight looking almost like a sibling fight.

"So.. Where were we?"

"Goodbye, Kim Hyunjin."

"What? No! You can't do this to me—I want my payback! Y/N!"

Long time no see, long time no see~

A week passed by too quickly, I thought I posted a few days ago—turns out it’s been a week and three days? But I’ve been very busy this week so it was honestly weird how I went in and out of the writing mood when I had so much on my plate, I wanted to write to relieve some stress but I guess it just frustrated me even more—it’s funny lmao.

New template! Do you guys like the inverted borders or.. Through my screen it looks better than the first one—maybe more cleaner? And I like it better because of that? Oddly enough when I changed it to the new one it reminded me of this version of Lightning Mcqueen.

 (Did I ruin the OS for you guys? Yes? Ok, sorry then—Lighting’s staying though lmao.)

Also, new template because I got into photoshop, and now there is no way you’ll ever see the gifs in non-high definition form no longer—I’ve also learnt how to color change objects in videos for my gifs, (and when I tell you guys that I’ve thought of another Jinsoul OS that I thought would be a cool concept.. I keep Jinsoul-baiting I’m so sorry, she just has the greatest ideas from me, she’s not even my bias but her power.) and I’ve also learned how to change the header colors in the actual color hex of the members. All that while I’m balancing my irl life in a span of a week! Still can’t believe that even on my free time—I’m still pushing myself to be productive.

Also! By the way—we’ve reached 100 you guys! And with that—a blog that I’ve binge read obsessively before I made this blog is part of you guys. I’m too shy to tag so if you’re reading this.. 

IreallyloveyourworkandIhopeyouwritemoreaboutloonabecauseIlovethemsomuchandIwentanononyourblogtorequestonceanditwasablackpinkonesoI’msureitgotthroughbecauseitwaswaybackwhenyouhadroséinblackpinkhouseasyourpfpthankyouforyourserviceIcan’tbelieveyouactuallyfollowedthisblog.

How about you guys, what have you been up to? Did the week pass by smoothly with you guys too? I really feel like something shifted in this week for some reason, but maybe that’s just me you know? But damn, you guys really grow fast don’t you? I remember feeling so shy when we just had around 10 but—you guys..! :(

I want to keep writing more for this blog, I have so many ideas yet it’s as if only time will tell when I’ll write it exactly the way I want it to.. Because fics like this was done in one seating and—I want to put more thought into it so it would be clearer! More expressions! But for now.. We can settle for this, yeah? At least we know she’s still writing, that’s a place to always start.

Laters (hopefully for not more than a week again),

JJ.

>ovc: loonatheworld (170329)

https://youtu.be/o25-mCo2RkM

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[heywardsarchive]

If You Loved Me (Sirius Black)

Summary: sirius and y/n were the power couple, until they were not. Their loving relationship turned toxic. Will they be able to save it? Read to find out;)

Warnings: toxic relationship, kinda cheating but not really, injuries (nothing to graphic), angst, alcohol, I think that's it?

Word count: almost 4k

Pairing: Sirius Black x female! Reader

This is the request by fangirl_3004 on wattpad Hi I wanted to request a sirius one-shot where they are like 20 and have been working for the order and have been dating for a few years but he keeps flirting with other girls. So the reader and sirius get into a nasty fight and he says a bunch of mean things to her and they breakup but the reader gets badly injured in an order mission and the next day sirius realises how much he loves her and they make up.

a/n: a big thankyou to @iwritesiriusly​ and @tragically-here​/ @tragedy-of-sorts​ for proofreading this ❤

*****

All schools whether magical or not have that one couple who everyone thought would last forever, in Hogwarts, that couple was Sirius Black and y/n l/n.

Sirius Black had all the girls of the school wrapped around his finger but when y/n came along, Sirius was whipped, he was wrapped around her finger. They didn't start dating immediately no, Sirius had to prove himself before he managed to get a first date. And boy was he over the moon!

Their first date was simple, a picnic near the black lake (where the rest of the marauders were definitely spying on them) the skipped rocks on the water and just basked in each other's company, by the end of the date Sirius was convinced that he had found the woman he was going to marry one day.

He lay in his bed in the dormitory and gushed about the date to James, Remus and Peter. They pretended to fake gag and passed comments like , "oh no we've lost our pads to the other side, abort mission abort mission!" But they were truly happy that their friend had found someone who he loved and only hoped that she would give him the love that he doesn't get at home.

Soon they finished their seventh year at Hogwarts, it was bittersweet going home in the scarlet train for the last time in seven years, they would miss their school but their life had just begun. Sirius and y/n had been dating for about two years then and they decided to move in together, it was only fitting since they were utterly and truly in love and besides, sirius had inherited one of his uncle alphard's homes in London which was conveniently near where Lily and James were going to live.

Everything went swimmingly for a few years and in 1979 Lily and James got married in an intimate but beautiful ceremony. Everyone tried to stay happy in a time where things were dark. The dark lord called voldemort was rising and gaining support, it was only a matter of time before a war broke out.

Lily, James, Remus, Peter, Sirius and y/n had joined the order of the pheonix, an organisation started to by Dumbledore in order to stop the growth of the dark lord.

But like they say not everyday is the same, sirius and y/n started growing apart, unnoticed by them too. Their weekly date nights started becoming monthly date nights, work commitments and other such things came in the way. Still everyone believed that they were meant to be.

"Sirius, I will be away for a week." Y/n told Sirius one night, she had been called for a rescue mission by the order, her medical skills were required. "Don't worry love, I'll be fine." He reassured her with a pat on the cheek.

Early the next morning, y/n had her things packed and she was ready to go. She kissed Sirius goodbye and apparated to Scotland.

That evening Sirius sat down on the sofa, and opened his work file. He tried to get his work done but his mind kept wandering. He sighed and shut his file and closed his eyes. It was pointless just sitting around and he thought he may as well enjoy his Friday night. All his friends were wrapped up in their own business and he didn't want to disturb them.

He put on his leather jacket, the one y/n had got for him on his seventeenth birthday, and headed out of the door. He walked the streets of London and wandered into a bar. A few drinks wouldn't hurt. He sat down at the bar table and drank a few shots. He looked around the room, it was crowded and reeked of alcohol. Couples stood there making out in the back and others danced in the middle with their sweaty bodies pressed against each other due to the lack of space.

As Sirius watched the scene, a pretty brunette girl with electric blue eyes walked up to him. "Care for a dance?" She looked him up and down and asked. Sirius was about to decline but then decided to go for it. What did he have to lose anyway? It wasn't like he was cheating or anything, it was just one dance right?

He allowed the girl to pull him to the dancefloor. There he drank a few more shots and danced like there was no tomorrow. Soon it was midnight, sirius decided it was time to leave. As he was about to head out, the girl who's name sirius did not know decided to kiss him. Sirius almost kissed back but then y/n's face flashed in his mind and he pulled away quickly. "I can't do this." He said almost hesitantly and rushed out of the club.

He sat down on the sidewalk and put his hand on his head. Sirius couldn't understand why he almost kissed back when he absolutely in love with y/n. He shook his head, stood up and apparated home. His head couldn't handle it along with the alcohol.

He spent the next week buried in work, trying to distract his mind from thoughts he wished he didn't have.

It was on Friday night when y/n finally returned. A distinct pop sound echoed through the room. Sirius rushed out to greet her. He was dressed messily, his hair tousled from laying on the bed and his shirt wrinkled. "Hello love, you're back." He smiled wrapping his arms around her in a hug. As he took in her familiar scent, he realised that what happened at tha bar was a mistake and there was nothing wrong with his love for the girl in his arms.

He pulled away to take in her appearance. She had a few cuts and bruises littering her arms and face, otherwise she looked fine. "How was the mission?" Sirius asked, his grey eyes brewing with concern.

"It was fine." Y/n shrugged. "Managed to get hold of a few death eaters and interrogate them." She pulled Sirius info another embrace and sighed. "it's good to be home." A simple statement such as that made sirius feel extremely guilty. He had to tell her what happened. Not then, soon. He would tell her.

Sirius spent many a sleepless night with the guilt eating him from inside. He decided that it was time he came clean.

He woke up before y/n the next morning and drank his coffee, and made her a cup too. Soon y/n came down the stairs rubbing her eyes tiredly. "You're up early." She pressed a kiss to his cheek before drinking a glass of water and eyeing him carefully. "What's wrong?"

Sirius looked up as though he had been snapped out of a trance. "Uh with me? Nothing. Why do you ask?" He stuttered nervously.

"Don't lie to me siri, I can read you like a book." She spoke with such tenderness in her eyes that sirius wanted to slap himself for being so stupid and almost kissing the blond girl back in the bar. Well, he had to tell her. It was now or never.

"Actually something is bothering me. Remember when you left for the mission a few weeks back?" Y/n nodded. "Well that night I went to a bar, because I was unable to concentrate and-"

"You're guilty because you went out to drink without me? Oh sirius that's nothing to worry about!" Y/n cut him off.

"No, that's not it. Let me continue. So I drank a few shots and got a bit tipsy and soon I ended up on the dance floor. Now, before you hear this I want you to know that I'm very guilty about what happened." At these words y/n's brows furrowed and she looked at sirius intently.

"I was about to leave when a blond girl who was dancing in the group I was in kissed me. I didn't kiss her back though-" Sirius defended himself.

A series of expressions flashed through y/n's face. First sadness, hurt and betrayal. "Did you think about kissing back?" She gripped the counter top hard, her knuckled turned white.

"I- I didn't kiss her back! Please understand y/n! I love you I would never hurt you this way." He tried to defend himself reaching out to hold her hand.

"No! Answer my question. Did you think of kissing back? Be honest." She looked firm and sirius knew he couldn't lie to her.

"I- ok yes I did. But I didn't. Your face flashed in my head and I couldn't bear to do anything more. So I pushed her away and left that instant." He said honestly. Sirius looked at y/n hoping that she'll forgive him, now that he was honest. But all he was met with was her steely gaze eyeing him sharply.

"I thank you for your honesty. I really do appreciate it. But the fact that you almost kissed her back speaks volumes. I think it's better that you give me some space to think." She spoke calmly. The calm before the storm. Sirius wished she yelled at him, and eventually forgave him but alas, that didn't happen.

**** July 1980

Lily and James were blessed with a beautiful baby boy whom they named Harry. He had his mother's stunning green eyes and his father's dark hair. He was the light that lit up a dark room, or in the case of the marauders and lily and y/n, their dark lives.

Things were not looking up for sirius and y/n's relationship. After y/n asked for space, she pondered over whether the relationship she had with Sirius was worth fighting for or not. She loved the man, ofcourse she did not know if he would stay faithful to her forever, that was just one incident. Who knows how many would occur? But eventually she gave in and decided to mend their broken relationship.

January 1981

The happiness of sirius and y/n's mending relationship didn't last long. In the order, Sirius was obviously the attraction of many single women, they all flirted with him hoping to catch his eye. He ignored their attempts at first, but after a fight with y/n over a trivial matter he decided to flirt back just to spite her.

Their relationship was getting toxic. Everyone could see it. Sirius and y/n would fight over small things and in retaliation, sirius would flirt with other girls. It became so bad after a point that the two of them wouldn't even look at each other for weeks at an end.

James, Remus and Lily were worried about their friends. Everyone thought that their fights would stop but it only got worse.

One day Lily and y/n had a girls day in (with Harry ofcourse, y/n loved her godson) and she voiced her concerns to the (h/c). "Im worried about you, love. All you and Sirius do is fight. And when you fight he goes out and flirts with other girls. Don't you think it's time you break things off with him? Or try fix your differences?" She reasoned placing a hand on her knee.

Y/n sighed and placed her head on top of Harry's, who was sitting on her lap. "I have thought about it ofcourse, but I still love him." "Even after everything I love him. And besides, if we break up what will happen to our friend group? I love you and James and Remus and Peter, it's just that I may never see you again if we separate." "And if I'm being honest, I still have a small bit of hope that the old sirius will return, the one I fell in love with."

Lily pulled the girl into a hug. She was sobbing at this point and Lily wanted nothing more than to end her hurting. "Talk to him. Make him understand, if you can't leave him, try to get him to understand." She said still holding y/n in a hug.

She sniffed. "You're right. I'll talk to him."

*******

June 1981

Y/n never did get around to talking to Sirius. She kept putting it off and avoiding the topic as much as she could. Everytime she would meet Lily, she would tell her the same thing and y/n gave the same reply. "I will, eventually."

Disaster fell upon the group when the dark lord decided that Harry was the baby who was destined to kill him. Since he was on the lookout for James and Lily, they had to go into hiding. Peter was made the secret keepers, the world belived it was sirius but no one knew of the real secret keeper.

The order was on high alert and most of the members were killed or in hiding. The last few remaining were Remus, y/n, Peter and Sirius among others. Due to this, sirius and y/n didn't have much time to fight with each other which was a nice change to their lives.

It all came crashing down once again when Dumbledore approached y/n to go on a mission, a dangerous one to find out who the traitor in the order was. She agreed, anything to figure out who the awful human was who decided to give information about lily and James and pose a threat to their safety. She graciously agreed.

Sirius was furious when he got to know that she agreed to such a dangerous mission. "Are you insane?!" He slammed the door shut. He was running his fingers angrily through his dark hair. "What do you mean?" Y/n asked him.

"You took the mission bloody well knowing it was a suicide mission. You won't survive this!" He slammed his fist on the table.

"Oh so now you care about me?" Y/n slammed her book shut and stood up and jabbed her finger in his chest. "After so long! Did you not care about me earlier? When you flirting with all those girls!" She screamed, equally fumed.

"STOP CHANGING THE TOPIC!" Sirius yelled.

"All we do is fight Sirius, I can't take it anymore." Y/n replied in a small voice.

"What?" Sirius asked, his anger melting away. "What do you mean?"

"I think it's better if we just end it. Right here. Right now. It's best for both of us." Her voice broke.

"No you can't, you can't just walk away!" Sirius cried out. But y/n didn't reply. She shook her head and apparated away. It was then when Sirius allowed him to think about all the months they spent fighting and it hit him of how bad a boyfriend he had been.

*****

October 1981

Four months. That's how long it had been since y/n walked away from sirius that day. Three months since she went on the mission to find out who the traitor was. Sirius was broken without her. He couldn't meet his best friend, and so the only person left was Remus who was probably tired of hearing Sirius repent for his mistakes.

Sirius regretted everything he had said to y/n everyday since she left. He barely left his house, he had become the shell of the man he once was and it was all his fault. He wondered if she was as hurt as he was, but another part of him hoped she was doing okay, he never wanted to break her heart which he swore to himself he would keep forever. He kept an eye out for letters from Dumbledore, or anyone for that matter hoping to get a shred of information of where y/n was and if she was safe, well as sage as she could be.

As for y/n, she apparated to her parents house after she left sirius in their house. She cried herself to sleep for a week but once she had no tears left to cry, she decided that it wasn't worth crying over someone who didn't appriciate her worth. She started preparing for her mission and spending as much time as she could with her parents because there was a chance she would not return in one piece from the mission.

******

Finally a few days later on October 27 1981, he recieved a letter from Dumbledore telling him that it was urgent and that Sirius had to arrive at the location with Remus that very instant.

The two of them arrived at the order safe house a few minutes later and rushed in. "What's the matter professor? Is everything alright?" Remus questioned but sirius' eyes were fixed on the bed in one of the bed rooms where he could see y/n's figure resting on the bed.

"What happened to her?" Sirius questioned urgently interrupting whatever conversation was going on between Remus and Dumbledore. "Ah. I knew you would ask. Well, y/n figured out who the traitor was but unfortunately she was cornered and attacked in an isolated alley, there were no eyewitness and so there is no way to know who did it to her."

Sirius' eyes widened and he was about to go rushing to y/n's side, but Dumbledore stopped him by placing a hand on his wrist. "Don't you want to know who the traitor was?" Dumbledore asked. Sirius and Remus nodded. "Peter." Dumbledore looked disappointed.

"Peter!" Remus cried out in disbelief. "How could he do such a thing? We trusted him with our life!"

"Im going to kill him. Look what he did to her!" Sirius said angrily.

"You don't have to." Dumbledore started. "Y/n already took care of him. When she found out what he did, she cursed him and he's now in ministry authority."

With that Dumbledore left. Sirius and Remus stood there staring holes into the ground. "Do you think, she'll forgive me?" Sirius asked Remus sadly. "I think I realised how much I love her after she left me." He gulped. "You dug yourself in this hole, now you get yourself out." Remus clapped his shoulder and entered the room where she lay, unconscious.

Sirius stood outside for a while before he decided to enter the room. There was healer with her who kept an eye on her heart rate. "Whats happening madam?" He asked the woman. She sighed and rubbed a hand against her forehead. "Hard to say, she was attacked pretty badly. She may remain in this comatose state for a week, a month, she may not even make it."

The words died in sirius' throat. Not make it? She couldn't just die? Y/n was the strongest woman he knew. He couldn't live with himself if the last conversation they had was them fighting. He swallowed the lump in his throat and sat down beside her bed. He held her hand and observed her face. The sunlight fell on her face and highlighted her features. He pushed away a bit of hair from her face and took in his peaceful y/n looked albeit she was covered in cuts and bruises.

*****

December 1981

It had been two months since Peter had been outed as a traitor and in those two months. Y/n was still unconscious and Sirius spent most of his waking hours by her bedside. With the help of veratuserum, Peter had confessed the names of all other death eaters and voldemort's plans. Dumbledore and the aurors were able to figure out a way to kill him and succeeded.

Once it was safe, Lily and James along with Harry came to visit y/n. "You look terrible mate." James said pulling his best friend into a hug. It had been almost a year since the two saw each other last. "Yeah well, I certainly feel terrible." He said honestly. James gave him a sympathetic glance before joining Lily who was sitting at sirius' spot beside y/n. She looked devastated at seeing her best friend in such a state. James smiled at her sadly while Harry babbled happily to himself.

"Are you all family?" Rushed in the healer who had been treating y/n.

"Yes, why?" James asked curiously.

"We have bad news. We have checked miss y/l/n's reports and if she doesn't wake up soon, she may not make it. " She said sadly.

Tears welled up in the eyes of everyone present there. It was hard to see y/n who was always so happy and bubbly lie there on a bed unconscious and almost dead. Sirius knelt before her. "I know we fought before you left, but please wake up. I can't live without you, I realised how much I loved you only after you left. Come back to me, to us I swear I'll be better. Please y/n/n." He kissed her hand that was slightly cold.

Call it dramatic, but a few moments after that y/n's eyes fluttered open. "Sirius?" She said softly. She looked pale and her eyes didn't have the shine they used to.

"Where am I? Did they catch Peter?" She asked confused. Lily reached forward and hugged her friend tightly. "You're in the order safe house, you've been here since the past two months. You're okay now, and they caught Peter. Soon all this will be over." She smiled happily.

Y/n sighed happily. Her gaze fell on everyone in the room but when it landed on Sirius, her smile fell a bit. "I think we should talk about what happened earlier." Y/n said to him. "No! You've just woken up, you're still weak." He protested. "I think it's better we get this over with." She said firmly. Sirius sighed and walked over to her. Everyone else left the room.

"Im sorry about the way I acted, I was scared for you." Sirius started. "I shouldn't have acted the way I did. Im sorry I hurt you so bad, it wasn't my intention. I promise I will never ever hurt you again." He finished earnestly.

"How do I know I can trust you again? You promised you loved me the first time and yet you did it again and again. We were toxic for each other Sirius, I don't think we're good for each other." Y/n told him.

"I understand how you feel but if you give me a chance to prove myself, I swear I'll be better." He grabbed her hand.

She sighed and sirius started to lose hope. "This is the final chance I'll give you. I want to be friends first, and take it from there. I don't promise you anything." A small smile played on her lips.

Sirius wanted nothing more than to be loved by her, as a friend or as a lover. That evening, all five friends sat together talking like they were back in Hogwarts and nothing was wrong.

Maybe everything would be fine.

******

A/n: ngl i was planning to tweak the request and kill off the reader but I felt nice and decided against it, you're welcome 😌

taglist (strikethroughv means tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you): @emilianamanson @itsarandomsparkle​

[theoreticslut]

When Wizards and Muggles Meet

pairing: fred weasley x reader

 requested: yes ( @sarcasticallywitty15 )

word count: 4k

warnings: none, maybe a bit angsty but not really

A/N: Hi, Thank you so much for this request! I am so sorry it’s taken a bit to get it done and posted. I’ve been swamped with work & stress for classes and I just hadn’t been writing a lot for a few days. Anyways, I hope this is interesting and what you were hoping for! To anyone wondering, I am still taking requests (I have a prompt list you can check out if you want)! I don’t plan on closing my requests anytime soon so send them in!! Also, don’t forget that I’m still doing a 300 follower sleepover in thanks to every one of you that has followed me and continues to support my work/me. It really means the world to me and I just can’t say thank you enough. Lastly, I finally got a masterlist made and posted so check that out to see a full collection of my works as of right now, as well as in the future! Xx

Taglist: @justmesadgirl @xuckduck @yikesyikesyikes95 @filipi-yes @aestheticwh0r3 @siredkai @matsuno-nadeshiko @msmarklee1213 @immajustreadwritereblog @msmimimerton @lauren2408 @mischievous-queen @bunnyboo7 @grandeoptimist @kaitlynw011 @daddystevee @slytherinxhunter @streetfighterrichie @softlyqoos  @sarcasticallywitty15 @isthereanymorejello 

^let me know if you’d like to be added/removed! Xx

You frown watching your younger brother bully your guys’ cousin. Harry has never done anything wrong, yet Dudley and your parents are absolutely atrocious to him.

“Dudley, knock it off.” You hiss, making your way over to the two.

“Why should I? You’re not mum or dad, y/n.”

“I’m still older than you, Dudley. Knock it off.”

“I’m just playing.” He whines, going to start terrorizing your cousin again.

“C’mon, Harry. Let’s go outside. We can go down to the park?” You suggest, holding your hand out for your younger cousin.

“I’m telling mum that you’re not letting me have any fun!” Dudley pouts as you lead Harry outside.

“Go ahead, brat face. I’m not scared.”

Once you and Harry have gotten to the park you let out a sigh. Everyone in your family drives you absolutely crazy. Well, everyone besides Harry. In all honesty, you and Harry were closest to each other than anyone else.

Sure you were only two when Dudley was born and then Harry showed up on your doorstep, but you felt responsible for your younger cousin.

Maybe it was because you could relate with him not having his parents. Technically you still had your parents, but in all actuality you were just as alone as him. They didn’t care for you even though you’re their oldest. They routinely pushed you aside as they did with Harry in order to please their little baby Dudley.

“Y/n, you’re going to get in trouble for this you know....” Harry trails off.

“I don’t care, Harry. There’s no reason for Dudley to be so mean to you and I’d rather take whatever my parents dish out than see you miserable.”

“But you don’t deserve it.”

“I can take it, Harry.” You smile, starting to swing beside him.

~.~

It’s hard to imagine that that was only 9 years ago. Honestly, it felt like a completely different life. You suppose it could be since shortly after that Harry had left for Hogwarts and you moved in with your best friend.

With Harry gone and having found a safe home with a friend, you didn’t see the need to stay with your parents and endure their abuse. A few short years later you emancipated yourself and changed your last name. You didn’t want any association with your birth family, and they didn’t mind one bit.

Since leaving you’ve been having a great life. Sure you had the same ups and downs as everyone; drama with friends, stress over school and grades, problems with boyfriends and dating, but it was still a lot better than having to deal with it on top of your parents toxic environment.

You hadn’t heard much from Harry since he left, which upset you a bit, but you figured he had probably found a better life too. You had gotten a few letters the first few months he was away, but they soon dwindled down to nothing. In all honesty you hadn’t heard a word from him in just about 8 1/2 years.

You were sure he had graduated by now and you only hoped he was doing well. You hope he found a job and had kept his friendships, maybe has found a girlfriend. You truly only ever wanted the best for him, but you weren’t going to lie and say that it didn’t bother you not hearing from him.

You often wondered if he had truly cut you off that easily, if maybe he grouped you in with your family even though you had always fought them. You knew that you weren’t anywhere near as interesting as whatever witches or wizards he met at school, but you had been a main part of his life before he left. You had been his friend. You hoped he hadn’t just blocked you out of his mind, but it was always in the back of your thoughts.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You exclaim as you run face-first into somebody, both of you stumbling backwards, but you’re the only one to lose your balance. You feel a hand reach out and grab your arm as another reaches around to catch your back.

“Why are you apologizing when you’re the one falling down?” You hear the person ask, amused as they chuckle at you. You recognize the voice as male, which only furthers your embarrassment.

You’ve never been good at interacting with guys. You always get far too flustered and awkward, which is probably why you’ve only had a few boyfriends to this day.

“Are you alright, love?” The man asks as he steadies you back on your feet. You nod, straightening out your clothes before looking up at whoever you had run into.

You have to remind yourself not to drop your jaw when you see him. The first thing you noticed about him was his height, he had to be a good foot taller than you. No wonder you lost your balance; you had practically run into a wall.

Secondly, you noticed how fiery his hair was. Sure you’ve seen ginger-haired people before, but you swear his was the brightest. It was honestly quite mesmerizing and you had to force yourself not to stare.

On top of that he was just extraordinarily attractive. His eyes were a gorgeous shade of brown, almost looking like pools of maple syrup. Even though you could see mischievousness inside them, his eyes were also surprisingly caring and comforting. And then his smile was so bright and sweet. You felt intoxicated by the man which is why you couldn’t help but flush when he smiles at you, quirking an eyebrow at your lack of response.

“You sure you’re alright?”

“Positive. I, uh, well. Thank you, I guess, and I am sorry for running into you. I guess I wasn’t really paying attention to where I was going.” You stutter, chuckling a bit at the end to try to play off the fact that your heart is racing a million miles a minute and your palms are starting to sweat.

“No worries, darling. In all honesty, I wasn't really paying attention either.” The man chuckles, smiling at you. “Maybe I could make up for it over lunch? That is if you haven’t got anywhere to be?”

You smile, chewing on your bottom lip as you nod.

“S-sure. I haven’t got anywhere I need to be right away.”

“Perfect. Well, let’s go then, yeah? I’m Fred, by the way.”

You nod, smiling as you chuckle at how excited this guy seems to be over the smallest things. He was so collected and confident, you honestly wonder why he would even bother offering you to lunch, but you weren’t going to complain.

“Y/n. It’s nice to meet you, Fred.”

~.~

You sigh, attempting to swallow your nerves. You and Fred have been dating for about four months now, and you’re finally going to be properly introduced to his family. You’ve met his twin brother, George, and you’ve heard more than enough to feel like you know his parents and other siblings, but you haven’t ever met them.

You were honestly surprised when he mentioned he’d like you to meet his family. For a few weeks you had been suspecting that he was hiding something, but you had no idea what. Sure you had plenty of possibilities cross your mind, but you hadn’t ever asked about any of them, not wanting to come off as insecure or bossy.

However, it had been getting harder and harder to ignore when he’d start talking about something and then would abruptly stop as if he was going to say something incriminating. Not to mention the fact he’d use words that you had never heard of and couldn’t find in any dictionary. Add all of that to how confused he seemed at the simplest of things, you were honestly starting to wonder what he could possibly be hiding.

You hear a knock on the door before you hear the click as the doorknob is turned. You smile, knowing it’s Fred.

“Hello, princess. How are you today?” He asks, walking into your bedroom and smiling at you.

“I’m...alright. I’m a bit nervous in all honesty.” You chuckle, turning around to look at your boyfriend.

“No need to be, love. I just know they’re going to love you. You’re honestly the sweetest person I know. Not to mention how gorgeous, kind, and smart you are. You tolerate my personality, but you also compliment it to no end, which my mum will adore. I promise you, hun, you have no reason to be worried.”

You smile, rolling your eyes at him as you blush. He always knew exactly what to say to comfort you and to make you flush in a matter of seconds. It’s one of his favourite things to do. He loved seeing your cheeks flush a light pink when you get embarrassed.

“You’re too sweet for your own good, Freddie.” You chuckle, moving to put in your earrings.

“That’s why you love me, though, right princess?”

“One of the reasons.” You smile, blowing him a kiss in the mirror.

He watches as you finish getting ready, only really needing to put on your jewelry and grabbing your jacket. Before long he’s leading you out to his car, ready to drive you over to meet his family.

Sure there was no reason for you to be nervous, but he had every reason to be. He hadn’t told you anything about him being a wizard, afraid you’d get too freaked out and leave. He was way too in love with you to risk you leaving him.

That's part of the reason he suggested you meet his family. He can tell you've been getting suspicious of something and he doesn't want you to think he's cheating. He thought maybe if you met his family, you'd feel a little better about what he actually is hiding.

Having you meet his family brought on a whole different wave of worries, however. He had asked them to pretend to be muggle just for the night, but he knew it would be hard seeing as he finds it hard to keep pretending.

"Freddie, love. You look worried." you point out as he drives, after a good few minutes of no conversation.

"Worried? No. Tonight will be really nice. I'm excited for you to meet everyone."

"You can be excited and worried at the same time, hun. Are you afraid I'll embarrass you? Or that I'll embarrass myself?"

You gasp as he swerves a bit, taken aback by your question. Why would he ever be embarrassed by you? As he's said, you are the sweetest person he knows and he would love to be able to show you off, its just he's more worried about his friends and family embarrassing him.

"Princess, I could never be embarrassed by you. I love you more than anything. No, I'm actually afraid that my family will embarrass me." he confesses, sighing.

You smile, squeezing his knee with your hand.

"That's what family is for, Freddie. I couldn't imagine introducing you to my family because I know they'd be more than embarrassing. Not to mention how much it'd ruin my mental health to be near them."

"You know, you've never really said much about your family. Why is that?" he asks, looking over at you in curiosity.

"Well, because it's really complicated. See, I left my actual parents and younger brother when I was fourteen. They, to put it lightly, were the worst people I've ever encountered in my life. I ended up emancipating myself and changed my last name. You've met my sister before, yeah?"

You watch as Freddie nods and you smile. He could be a really great listener when he needed to be, which is one thing you absolutely loved about him. It was really nice to cuddle up with him after a long week and tell him about what's happened.

"Well, I call her my sister, but in reality we have no relation to each other. I moved in with her and her family after I left mine, and her parents were kind enough to let me change my last name to theirs when I emancipated myself. They never adopted me or anything though, so I guess when you look at it, I don't really have a family. Just one I've made for myself."

"I never would have guessed that, princess. It makes sense now that you've never talked about them."

You nod, shrugging. It's nothing you were embarrassed or ashamed to admit, but it certainly wasn't something you would share with just anyone.

~.~

You sigh as Fred pulls into the driveway of his house. You smile at the cute, odd-shaped home and only hope that his family will like you.

He's mentioned how his family is a little odd, but how sweet they are. You can tell by the way he talks about them that he's really proud of them and it warms your heart. You figured that if you love Fred, then you'd love his family, but that didn't do anything to calm your nerves.

"You ready, princess? I just know they're going to love you. Besides, you already know George so it's not like you're not going to know anyone else."

"I know. I'm ready." you smile as he takes your hand. He places a kiss to your knuckles before opening the door and leading you inside.

You're immediately enveloped in warmth and the smell of baking and cooking. You realized this is exactly what you picture home smelling and feeling like, even though you've never had any experience with it before.

"Fred, dear, Is that you?"

"Yeah, mum. Y/N is here with me."

"Oh, perfect! dinner is just about done!" You hear the woman reply as she comes into view. Just like Fred, she sports fiery red hair as well. You smile and blush a bit as she greets you, wrapping you up in a hug right off.

"It's so nice to meet you, dear. Fred has told me so much about you, but he lacked in informing me of just how beautiful you are. No wonder he fancies you so." she chuckles.

You look over to Fred who has a light blush starting on his cheeks and you smile, hugging his mum back.

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley. It's wonderful to meet you too."

"Oh, call me Molly, dear. There's no need to be so formal. Come sit while I call everyone else down."

You smile, happily following her into the kitchen as Fred follows you, wrapping his arm around your waist.

You look around to see family pictures and homey knick-knacks all around. You wondered if this is what a family home is supposed to feel like. You remember your mum having pictures around, but they were mainly of her, your dad, and younger brother...if your parents even got in on the pictures. Normally there were pictures of Dudley everywhere.

"How are you feeling, love?" Fred asks, leaning over to you and resting his head on your shoulder.

"Good." You smile, bringing a hand up to run through his hair. He smiles, letting out a small sigh as you play with his ginger locks.

"I love the atmosphere here, Freddie. You can tell you guys are really close and share a lot of love for one another."

"Yeah? I've always liked it here. I'm glad I get to share it with you." he smiles, kissing your cheeks just as his mum comes back into the kitchen.

"It's so nice to see you so happy, dear. I mean, you were happy about opening up the shop, but it's really nice seeing you share life with someone." Molly smiles, watching the two of you happily.

"Thanks, mum. I'm really lucky to have met Y/N. I don't think anyone else could keep up with my antics as well as she does." he jokes to which you roll your eyes at.

"Y/N?"

You turn at the call of your name, wondering who would be calling you. The only other person you knew that would be here is George.

You nearly gasp when you realize it's your cousin. There's no way to stop the dropping of your jaw, which is why Fred turns around to look at harry confused.

"Harry? What are you doing here?"

"I, uh, well, I'm dating Ginny." he sputters, just as shocked as you are.

"How do you two know each other?" Fred asks, looking between the two of you. You turn your attention to your boyfriend who looks thoroughly confused.

"Harry's my cousin...from my family, not my best friend's." you state, clarifying the relation.

"So, you're parents are?"

"Harry's Aunt and Uncle." you finish for him.

Fred still looks completely confused, but he seems to understand how you're connected. You can see his mind slowly connecting the dots and filling in the blanks.

Harry continues to look at you surprised, as you do to him. You honestly never thought you'd see him again, not after he cut you off when leaving to be a wizard. It wasn't his proudest decision, but it was his decision nonetheless and he had to acknowledge that.

"Freddie!" you gasp, your mind finally making an important connection.

He jumps as you turn to him, surprise covering your face.

"What, love?"

"You're a wizard, too?!"

you watch as he opens and closes his mouth, trying to figure out the right way to say this. He never would have guessed you knew anything about wizards and magic, but you must have seeing as you're related to Harry. That still doesn't give him the answer of if you're cool with it or not.

"How would you react if I said yes?"

"What do you mean? I'm not going to run off, if that's what you're worried about. I just, I never would have guessed."

Fred lets out the breath he's been holding, feeling the weight on his shoulder from the worry melt away to nothing.

"Uhm, well, I am. Surprise, princess."

"Well, that's lovely to have out in the air. I know it's been worrying you to no end, dear." Molly states, attempting to move things along.

"Dinner's done, if we're ready to eat."

~.~

You smile as Fred's siblings talk about their day, enjoying that they don't have to lie about what they do now. You have finished dinner awhile ago and have been sitting around the table just talking. Your head is still buzzing at the newfound information, but really all your focused on at the moment is how seeing Harry again has made you feel.

At first it was a total shock and you were a bit excited, but now as the night has progressed you've only been spiraling into a pit. Harry hasn't said much directly to you, and it makes you wonder what you could have done. Have you done anything, or has he really just ignored the fact that you're related?

"You're not saying much, princess. Is everything alright?" fred asks, leaning closer to you so only you can hear him.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good, freddie. Just still surprised is all." you smile, trying to convince him.

He frowns, looking over your face as you almost immediately seem to fall back into your thoughts. Something is bothering you and he needs to know what.

He's aware of how much of a shock it is to find out your significant other is a wizard, but he's hoping it isn't too much of a shock that you decide you can't handle it.

"Let's go sit in the living room for a bit, yeah? I think we need to talk."

You shrug, nodding slightly as he stands up, holding his hand out to help you up. You smile at everyone as they look to the two of you.

"Keep talking. Y/n and I just need to talk privately real quick."

the rest of his family nods, including harry and ron's girlfriend Hermione, who you found out is a friend of Harry's from school.

You follow Fred into the livingroom and smile when he pulls you onto his lap as he sits on the couch. He wraps his arms around you tightly, burying his face in your neck. You press a kiss to his temple as you rest your head against his.

"What are you thinking about, love? Honestly." he asks once he looks up at you.

You frown, trying to figure out what to say. There's so much going through your head right now and you're not sure what you should mention first.

"How do you feel about me being a wizard? It's not...upsetting is it?" he asks, hinting at his biggest fear.

You shake your head, smiling at him.

"No. No, it's not upsetting at all, hun. I just, never thought I'd meet another one, much less be dating one. I'm not upset about it at all, though. In fact, it explains why our relationship has always felt so magical to me." you chuckle, causing your boyfriend to roll your eyes. He knew you had a love for bad puns.

"You're such a bloody idiot sometimes. I love you more than anything, though." he smiles, kissing you as you smile.

"I love you too, freddie."

"Well, if it's not about us being wizards, what's got you thinking so much, princess?"

You sigh, frowning slightly as you look over at his family...well, more like your family.

"Honestly? Its about Harry. I haven't seen him, or even heard from him for about nine years now. It's just really odd to see him after all this time, especially since he's so different now being a wizard and just grown up and everything. I mean, I grew up with him, freddie, and I feel like I barely know him."

Fred nods, realizing now why you've been so distracted. He can't imagine what it's like to find out your cousin, that you haven't seen or heard from in years, is friends with your boyfriend.

"And i don't know, I guess I'm a little upset about it all too." you confess.

"Upset about what, love?"

"Well, Harry and I used to be really close. I'd protect him from my parents and my brother, usually getting the wrath of it myself, but it didn't matter. At least I'd done something to upset my parents to receive their abuse. I couldn't stand to see Harry being treated so terribly for just, existing."

"So I protected him, and I always thought we were really close. Then he went off to school and just...forgot about me. Or so it seems, anyways. I got a few letters the first few months after he left, but then he just stopped sending me anything. I always wondered why. Did he just not care for me anymore? Did he want to forget me along with my family, even though I had never been like them?" you ask, finishing your thought to Fred.

He frowns, tucking some hair behind your ear as he gets you to look at him. He hates seeing you worry over such things. He could understand how upsetting it could be, but you shouldn't have to worry yourself out over it.

"Princess, I know it's confusing, but I'm sure Harry had his reasons. I doubt it had anything to do with you being related to your parents though. He probably just got busy with classes, and when he had the time, he probably just didn't know what to say."

"Yeah. I don't know. I've just, I've worried about it for years and just ignored it. It's really hard to ignore it when he's sitting at the same table as us, you know?" you chuckle, trying to seem like you're okay.

"I know, princess. Maybe you could try asking him? I know I'd sure love to know why he's never mentioned you. Maybe I would have run into you sooner if I knew there was a sweet and beautiful muggle out there."

You roll your eyes, smiling and shaking your head at the dork you have for a boyfriend as he chuckles, pulling you into a hug as he presses a kiss to your lips.

"I love you, princess."

"I love you too, freddie."

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

On Family

An excerpt from Memoirs of a Flesh Eater, never published

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One question that I see asked in the news a lot is why there are still any ghouls left. We have a distinctive, high-impact feeding habit that requires us to stay within human society, where we are both outnumbered and outgunned. This has essentially been the case since the development of automatic firearms, and you’ve continued to develop more and more effective methods of killing us since then. How are we not extinct?

The talking heads always have lurid theories to propose. My personal favorite one, which comes up every couple of years or so, is that the government is secretly breeding us so that they have an excuse to send secret police out into the general populace for nefarious purposes pretending to be exterminators. As if they’d need the excuse {Editing Note: I’ve gotta keep my political views out of this except where they directly pertain to ghouls. No unnecessarily alienating people}. The most commonly accepted one seems to be that we just have a lot of children to compensate for our high mortality rate. Spatha calls that an R strategy, I think. Scarlet calls it the Rabbit Theory. Whatever you call it, it’s wrong. Our species has survived off the strength and compassion of our families.

Contrary to popular impressions, our “nuclear” families are pretty small. My understanding is that 1-4 children is the typical range. I’m the only confirmed only child in my friend group. Scarlet’s the youngest of three, Scorpio’s a middle child, Spatha avoids talking about her home life, and Kestrel doesn’t know her biological parents. There’s a couple of pressures that keep our family sizes small. First, it’s challenging to feed too many ghouls at once, especially ghoul children, who we don’t want worrying about where they’re going to get their meals. Second, the majority of ghoul parents are going to end up as single parents before their kids are fully grown. Either one of them is going to get killed, or they’re going to have to separate to go on the run from the exterminators; and, of course, we do still break up and get divorced sometimes.

These pressures are exaggerated by our general lack of an extended family. It’s not that all of our aunts and uncles get hunted down - even if they did, we’d still have cousins - but it’s not safe for us to have traceable extended families. When exterminators identify a ghoul, the first thing they do is put out a bulletin for all known blood relatives. The most common tactic to avoid this is, when multiple siblings make it to adulthood, at least one of them changes their identity and moves away. This isn’t always done, but it’s done often enough that document forging is a widespread and well-respected profession in the Society. It’s useful for dodging exterminators in other circumstances too. My mom and I changed our names and moved cities after exterminators killed my dad when I was 4.

Between that and the sheer number of out-and-out orphans in our Society, it should come as no surprise that we’ve developed a new family structure to fill in the gaps. The terminology we use for this structure is variable, but the term I’ve always used is “household”. A household is a sort of adopted extended family, typically formed by and centered around one particularly resourceful ghoul called a patron. The patron takes whichever ghouls they choose under their wing, introduces them to each other, and helps them coordinate their talents and resources so that they all have everything they need. Most obviously, this means making sure they all have a supply of flesh, but there are numerous other kinds of support a household can provide. I doubt I need to emphasize again how valuable a reliable source of companionship and safety is, but patrons typically have access to connections and contacts that can help the other members of the household accomplish their goals.

My household, for example, was founded by our patron Yaga. It consists of her, her adopted daughter Kestrel, my mom and I, my friends Scarlet and Scorpio and their immediate families, and four other older ghouls. There’s also Spatha, who has been reluctant to fully join the household but acts like a member in most contexts. Three of our members have reliable flesh sources, and Yaga coordinates with other ghouls to find supplementary sources to ensure that she always has a surplus on hand. This keeps all of us well-fed and lets her distribute the rest to those in need in exchange for favors and cachet that the rest of us can use for our own advancement. In turn, the rest of us pitch in for odd jobs here and there, mostly on flesh-gathering jobs of one kind or another, and we look out for each other. I’ve done a bit of babysitting with Kestrel, for example, and Yaga was able to get me and Scarlet summer jobs to save up for college.

Babysitting, by the way, is one of the most valuable services a household can provide to a ghoul parent. Given our mortality rate, it probably isn’t a surprise that there’s a good bit of cultural pressure to have children, and have them quick. Ghoul children are… a lot. When we’re newborn, we’re pretty much like human babies. Ghoul babies can nurse from ghoul mothers for awhile, which is a relief. They need to switch to flesh before their teeth come in, though, so that means flesh slurry, which is more complicated to make than you might think. For best results, you want a mix of blood, muscle tissue, organ tissue, and bone, especially marrow. We get better at pulling all our nutrients from just flesh as we mature, but babies aren’t as developed. Getting those varied tissues is a little more complicated than just getting flesh. Bone especially is challenging - more mature ghouls have no need for it, and it’s honestly kinda gross. You just have to hope that whoever you’re getting flesh from can start holding some bones for you. Not every source has easy access to bones. 

{Editing Note: I think I wrote bone too many times - it looks fake now. Bone. Bone.}

We get our ghoul teeth at the same time as our baby teeth. Our ghoul teeth fall out and are replaced too, but we keep growing new ones our whole lives, kinda like sharks. Funnily enough, I don’t think we grow extra human teeth, which seems like a strange way for evolution to take us, but what do I know, I’m not a biologist. At that point we can start eating regular flesh, and parents have the unenviable task of explaining to toddlers that they can’t just slide their teeth out whenever they want. Our other features come in a bit later - claws between 4 and 6, eyes with puberty. Let me tell you, the claws hurt coming in. I couldn’t hold a pencil for a month. My mom told the elementary school that I was deathly sick so she could keep me home, but I think Scarlet just pretended he’d broken both his hands and went in splints. I don’t envy him - stretching my claws did a lot to relieve the pain.

I’ll admit freely that, by our standards, I had a pretty charmed childhood. I fit into human society pretty easily, I had a mom who loved me and could provide for me, a patron and household to help pick up the slack, and ghoul friends my own age. I had the discipline to keep my true nature hidden from my human peers, and I don’t think I was even particularly traumatized by the pressure of performing humanity that much. I can safely attribute that to the fact that I had safe spaces throughout my life to let the charade drop. Most ghouls at least have that. Most, but not all.

Our integration into human society also means that we inevitably become entangled in human society. We become invested in the lives of our human peers, we befriend them, care about them. Sometimes we fall in love with them. Eating people seems like kind of a big secret to keep from a potential romantic partner - I certainly couldn’t manage it - but some ghouls form romantic relationships with humans nonetheless. Maybe some of these human partners eventually discover the truth and are willing to overlook it for the person they love, but I doubt it happens often. I’ve certainly never heard of it. I’ve heard of it going the other way, though, a human partner discovering the truth and reacting poorly. Someone always dies when that happens. I personally know a few ghouls who’ve dated humans, or are seriously involved with them. Frankly, it scares the hell out of me. I get that the heart wants what it wants, but some wants aren’t worth the risk.

{Editing Note: That last line feels… tense. Emotionally charged. Why? And should I change it?}

In my opinion, the gravest of these risks is what happens when a human and a ghoul decide they want to build a life together, but kids are already in the equation. The human-ghoul mixed family is probably the most toxic environment that a ghoul child could be raised in and conceivably survive. All that pressure of hiding your true nature from your peers as you grow up? That feeling of isolation that follows you everywhere you go among humans? All of the most crushing emotional turmoil I’ve described in this book so far? Imagine if there was no relief for that even at home with your family. I frankly have no idea how ghoul parents manage to feed themselves and their children without being caught, or how they manage to perform humanity so flawlessly and constantly that their literal immediate family never catches on. I don’t know how those children manage to survive to adulthood, but I imagine they have some seriously fucked up mental health problems by the time they do. Factor in the suspicion that they would inevitably face from our Society when they finally are able to join it properly - after all, who more likely to become a Judas or be Lost than a ghoul raised by humans? - and I’d be willing to bet most of them don’t make it out of their twenties.

Before we move on entirely from families in general and mixed families in particular, I’d like to take a quick aside to talk about “half-ghouls”. You hear about them in horror media fairly often, the biological child of a human and a ghoul. Authors love to ascribe all sorts of traits to these hypothetical creatures - greater and more monstrous than the sum of their parts, supernaturally strong and vicious, impossible to detect within human society, sometimes with traits that are blatantly impossible, like telepathy or mind control or just plain magic. All of that is obviously untrue, but it’s something of a point of contention as to whether or not a “half-ghoul” is even possible. None of the ghouls I’ve talked to seem to agree about whether it can happen, and a search of human medical literature was similarly inconclusive. Humans, at least, seem to think that it might be theoretically possible, but have never been able to verify it by observation or by medical experiment. Of the ghouls I know that have been romantically involved with humans, none of them have ever gotten a kid out of it. It’s one of those things where we just don’t know. If it were possible, I’m not even sure what the implications would be.