#like I was around 7 years old when going through the anime section of movie stop and would see some scantily-clad covers

[boy-above]

i wanted to talk about some things, it's a heavy topic but if anyone is able or willing to read, i really appreciate it. i wanted to talk about my experience with emotional/covert incest. the terms can mean multiple things but in my specific case, it meant my mother talked to me about inappropriate sexual things from a very young age. as well as my dad preying on my sister and filming us. i understand these topics can be triggering so please feel free to skip if you want to.

i was never physically touched so for a long time i thought i did not count as a victim of sexual abuse, as well as just being brainwashed into thinking it was normal, but a few years ago i got support from the childhood sexual abuse subreddit and they were amazing. they made me feel seen and helped me realized how much i'd been traumatized by this.

i'm talking about it now because i vaguely brought it up with her yesterday for the first time and she mumbled a response essentially blaming my dad for her hypersexual behavior around us kids. saying she 'wasn't herself.' it was very insulting to me but i dropped the subject because it would ruin the day otherwise.

for as long as i can remember she had been doing this, the earliest i have memories from is four to five years old. i knew where babies came from in graphic detail by this time. note that these are just some of many, many examples.

my mom had described the concept of sex toys and described where my dad kept theirs, as if she wanted me to go look. at one point on a car ride home home from my grandma's house she described how she'd heard of someone putting peanut butter in their vagina and fucking that way; she described how she thought it feel and how gross it was. i was five and hostage in the car. she showed me the adult section in spencer's; a store i didn't even like going to because it had scary chucky dolls, and showed me several sex toys. she specifically pointed out the sex dolls hanging from the ceiling and joked that she wondered if my dad would like one.

again when i was five, she apparently had never heard the word "bonding" before, so when i said it she assumed it was related to bondage, so she proceeded to explain bondage and bdsm to me in detail. this is something else about my mother, she manages to make seemingly innocent things about sex, as if it's literally always on her mind. she did the same thing with the word "mate", she thought it was only used in a sexual content and tried to explain to me how different animals fuck. i was 7 and we were in the middle of the grocery store. she would retell a story several times through my life about how an old friend from her early 20s implied she (the friend) had fucked a dog before; and my mom thought that was an appropriate conversation to have with a small child.

again when i was about 7, she put a show on the tv about sex toys when i was in the room. i distinctly remember this is when i first actually saw what dildos and vibrators looked like. i specifically remember them talking about how quiet one of them was, and them showing off a glass dildo as well. my mom didn't care at all that i was in the room seeing this; in fact she pointed some out telling me how funny she thought they looked.

when i was like 8, in a movie we were watching (which once again wasn't age appropriate, but she never did make sure Any movie was age appropriate) someone did the pussy eating hand symbol, for lack of a better term. i didnt even ask what it meant because i assumed it was something sexual, but my mom described it in detail anyway even though i literally told her i didnt want to know. by this point i was old enough to try to advocate for myself, to tell her to Stop and that i didnt want to hear these things, but she didnt listen at all. i wanted it to stop but it never did.

i knew all about my moms sexual fantasies as well, like how she wanted to have a threesome but knew my dad would never do it. she even showed me one of her own sex toys when i was around 10, one of those electric paddles. either one or both of my parents liked being spanked and hit with a whip. how do i know? they would fuck loudly even though they knew i could hear everything no matter where i was in the house. and i brought up with them how i could hear it and how i wanted it to stop, begging them to at least Try to be quiet, but they never would. to this day i think it's because they got off of knowing i could hear them. i was about 13 when this started and it happened up until high school had ended.

now, we talk about my dad. my dad was a bigger creep but in a more quiet way. you see, my dad never spoke vulgar around us kids. he did not like talking about sex and didn't even like cursing half the time. he did have a porn addiction however. every single device has to have porn on it, porn needs to be open at all times. he had porn mags in the basement; removed them thankfully when he found out we saw them. he gave me his old laptop when my own broke, it was absolutely full of folders upon folders of porn. you always end up stumbling upon it by accident at least, but jesus christ it's everywhere.

but the real problem is that he did something deplorable. see, my older sister is a half sister, he is her step dad. and my father preyed on her. i still don't know everything he did to her, and obviously that is not my story to tell. but what i do know is that he installed cameras in her room and watched her. my mom always had her suspicions but when i was an older teenager she finally found the evidence. vhs tapes, on which videos of my sister, who at the time of filming was 11-16, getting changed and other things. my entire childhood i was afraid i was being filmed.

because my mom did not leave my dad when she found out about this. she first had an inclination he was creeping on my sister when she was very young; but she never left. she told us though, told us what a creep he was, so we spent our childhoods in fear that he was watching us. i'd check my room for cameras all the time. i've come to the conclusion that i think that as his biological child he never did have an interest in me thankfully, but my poor sister was violated by that man, the degree to which we still don't know because she doesn't like to talk about it; which is her right of course. i was never touched but the surveillance paranoia has eaten away at me since i was little. always afraid im being watched, that there's a camera or that he's monitoring my online activity. i know at one point he filmed he and my mom having sex without her permission, so he really did have cameras everywhere. i can only hope there wasn't one in my own room.

this is such, such a stupid thing that i'm about to say. it's gonna completely ruin the tone of this post but it becomes sinister in hindsight. when i was little, sometimes i would sleep in my sisters room. but i was scared of her window because i'd see something red out there. in my child imagination i imagined it was a scary sasquatch with red eyes. listen, i was super afraid of sasquatch and yetis at the time, it was a whole thing i know it sounds ridiculous. anyway though, i realized in hindsight that the red i was seeing was the recording light of a camera. he was filming her though the window. the tapes confirmed that. i never saw them myself but my mom did. it's just. such a scary thing okay.

my surveillance paranoia lives with me today. i have never shaken the fear that im being watched. it even elevated into mind reading delusions. after spending your whole life feeling unsafe, like you have no privacy anywhere, you start to fear you're not safe even in your mind. so yes, i have fears sometimes that my mind is being read. it always feels stupid to admit to it because i know logically that its simply not true, but it's something my brain persists. i still live in this house with my dad and mom. one little way i try to fight the mind reading is that for whatever reason my brain thinks that it i turn a certain way it will be harder for someone to read my mind. so, if my dad is in the living room on the right of me, i turn to the left. and if he's in his bedroom on the left of me, i turn right. i also put pillows all over my head especially covering my ears. having delusions makes you feel so stupid, man. but it helps.

some day, maybe, i'll have my own place, and i'll be able to check it alllll over for cameras, and maybe i'll finally feel safe. or, maybe i'll never feel safe. i don't know. i also think that perhaps my moms hypersexuality contributed to my asexuality. i was sex repulsed for a very long time because it was just pushed onto me time and time again when i was little. i've only just recently in the past few years started becoming comfortable with sexuality, although im still ace, i only feel attraction in theory and not in practice. so maybe in a way every time i express wanting to fuck a fictional character it's actually a win for me? i have no idea. anyway uhhhhh i have no idea if anyone read this but peace out homies

[darkxmartcom]

Suzume no Tojimari

Wellcome friends in this article I am covering The Anime Series NamedSuzume no Tojimarifeel free to read this article and don't forget to press the follow button.

 While going to class one day, Suzume Iwato incidentally finds Souta Munakata, a youthful individual searching for abandoned locales. The optional school young woman organizes Souta to a nearby ruin, `but out of pure interest, she decides to go to a comparable goal.

At that point when there, Suzume finds a separate doorway with a deceptive universe lying past it — a spot that she can see and feel, but not enter. A bizarre stone lies on the ground nearby, yet it changes into a catlike like creature and takes off when Suzume lifts it. All of a sudden fearful, she rushes toward her school, not understanding that her show of leaving the doorway open will have results.

With the "foundation" conveyed, the insidious inside the other universe can now uninhibitedly escape and release ruin all through Japan. Expecting to address her dangerous blunder, Suzume joins Souta — whose real goal is to hold fiendish back from spoiling — in finding and locking all entrances before the country is obliterated.

Suzume (Japanese: すずめの戸締まり, Hepburn: Suzume no Tojimari, lit. "Suzume's Securing") is a 2022 Japanese vivified dream experience movie composed and coordinated by Makoto Shinkai, created by CoMix Wave Movies, and disseminated by Toho. The movie includes the voices of Nanoka Hara and Hokuto Matsumura, with the person plans by Masayoshi Tanaka, movement heading by Kenichi Tsuchiya, craftsmanship bearing by Takumi Tanji, and music by Radwimps and Kazuma Jinnouchi. Suzume is Shinkai's third joint effort with Radwimps and Tanaka, after Your Name (2016) and Enduring with You (2019), and was propelled by the Tōhoku tremor and tidal wave. The film follows 17-year-old secondary school understudies Suzume Iwato and Souta Munakata, who collaborate to forestall a progression of fiascos across Japan.

The film started its creation in mid-2020, in the long run being declared as finished by October 2022. A clever transformation, likewise composed by Shinkai, and a manga series shown by Denki Amashima both appeared preceding the film's delivery.

Suzume previously debuted in IMAX in Japan on November 7, 2022, and was dramatically delivered cross-country on November 11; it was delivered globally across 2023 by Crunchyroll, Sony Pictures Delivering (under the Sony Pictures Delivering Worldwide pennant), and Wild Bundle Global. The film got positive surveys from pundits, with acclaim for its activity, characters, profound weight, and music, albeit a few commentators condemned the plot for being fundamentally like Shinkai's past movies. It has netted $298.3 million around the world, turning into the fourth-most elevated earning film of 2022 in Japan and the fourth-most elevated netting Japanese film ever.

Story Line

Suzume Iwato is a 17-year-old secondary school young lady who lives with her auntie in Kyushu. One evening, she fantasizes about looking for her mom as a youngster in a demolished area. The following morning, while setting out toward school, Suzume experiences a young fellow looking for deserted regions with entryways. She enlightens him regarding an old onsen resort close by, then follows the man herself to the hotel. Suzume finds an entryway remaining solitary on its edge, which shows a twilight field through the entryway, however, she can't enter it. She gets a feline sculpture which turns into a genuine feline and escapes. Terrified, she goes to class. At noon, Suzume sees a burst-like section emerging from the site of the onsen that no other individual can see. Returning there, she tracks down the man from previously, attempting to close the entryway. Seeing him battle and get harmed, Suzume hurries to help. They effectively close the entryway and the red section vanishes, yet not before colliding imperceptibly with the town and causing quakes like harm.

Suzume takes the man, Souta Munakata, to her home to gauze his injury. He makes sense of that he traversed Japan, finding and securing entryways in deserted spots to forestall a monster otherworldly "worm" from causing seismic tremors. The feline from the hotel shows up and transforms Souta into the kid's seat he was perched on. Souta, presently a three-legged seat, pursues the feline to a ship set out toward Ehime with Suzume following. He portrays the feline as a cornerstone, and that the worm was left after its evacuation out of close to the neglected entryway.

At Ehime, the pair use signs via web-based entertainment from local people who have captured the feline and named it "Daijin" to follow it across Shikoku. With the assistance of neighborhood inhabitant Chika, they track down the worm and close its entryway of section at an unwanted school. Following Daijin's path to Kobe because of Rumi, a neighborhood bar proprietor, the pair experience the worm reappearing at an unwanted entertainment mecca. Sōta requests that Daijin turn around into a cornerstone, however, he declines, needing to "play" with Suzume. She and Sōta lock the worm's entrance. Sōta makes sense of the entrance prompts the Always After where spirits pursue demise. As they go through the night at Rumi's bar, it is uncovered that Sōta is losing his healthy identity in his seat structure. 

After following Daijin to Tokyo, Sōta has Suzume take him to his loft. He makes sense of the legend of the worm Namazu, and the way things are assuaged by the situation of two cornerstones in eastern and western Japan. The western cornerstone has turned into the feline Daijin, while records of the eastern cornerstone's area are dark. Should the worm show up in Tokyo, it could obliterate the city like the 1923 Extraordinary Kantō quake. Daijin returns and uncovers that he had given his capability as a cornerstone to Sōta's seat structure. In the wake of finding the reappeared worm, Sōta transforms into a cornerstone in Suzume's grasp, passing on Suzume to seal it away. She does so and awakens in a cavern lodging Tokyo's entryway. Looking into the Always Later, she sees the cornerstone Sōta yet again can't enter to contact him. Suzume visits Sōta's granddad at the clinic. He clarifies that Suzume's capacity to see the worm and the Consistently After through the entryways implies that she has incidentally entered the domain once previously. Besides, the entryway that she previously utilized is the main spot where she can reappear the Always Later and save Sōta.

Rejoining her Auntie Tamaki, who followed her from Kyushu, Suzume goes to her life as a youngster old neighborhood in Tōhoku, which was obliterated in the 2011 Tōhoku quake and tidal wave along with the assistance from Sōta's kindred college colleague and companion, Tomoya Serizawa whom she met at Sōta's loft just before the worm showed up in Tokyo. At a rest stop en route, Suzume finds that Tamaki was moved by Sadaijin, the eastern cornerstone. Tamaki takes Suzume to the vestiges of her old house where she once resided with her mom/Tamaki's sister, a medical caretaker who was killed in the wave. Suzume tracks down her old entryway and enters with Daijin and Sadaijin. She arises in the Consistently Later, which shows up as her town following the seismic tremor wave. While Sadaijin occupies the worm, Suzume stirs Sōta, returning him to human structure. Conceding rout, Daijin gets back to being a cornerstone. With Daijin and Sadaijin, Suzume and Sōta reseal the worm, keeping it from leaving the Always Later.

Sōta then, at that point, sees a kid in the Consistently Later: Suzume from quite a while back. Suzume recollects how she entered the Consistently After as a youngster following her mom's demise. She takes her life as a youngster seat from the Consistently After variant of her home and gives it to her more youthful self, informing her regarding her future. Youthful Suzume exits the Consistently After with the seat, prompting her to be found by Tamaki 12 years earlier. Suzume and Sōta leave the Consistently After themselves, with Sōta getting back to Tokyo while Suzume and Tamaki return to Kyushu, returning to the companions she made en route.

In a little while, back in Miyazaki, Suzume is headed to school when she by and runs into Sōta, strolling up a similar street where they initially met.

[saint-miroir]

Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chan DVD advertisment-- Animage Magazine (05/2005)

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | chapter four

Chapter Four

summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, depressed spencer, reader has a daughter, falling in love, strangers to lovers, library smut, oral (female receiving) lots and lots of fluff

word count: 3.9k

from the beginning <3

Everyone at work was very understanding. Almost all of them saw it coming, he was taking more sick days than normal and he wasn’t putting up a fight anymore when the 30 days was required to take rolled around. They were profilers after all.

He arrives on Thursday morning to pack his desk. The team is finally home and all together to wish him well on his future journey, giving him hugs and kisses as they each visited his desk.

They had already replaced him, Will LaMontagne was giving the FBI a shot, finally. Spending more time with JJ, the kids were old enough now to accept both of them working. And Kate Callahan was back, now that her baby wasn’t a baby anymore either.

Even Penelope and Derek showed up, bringing a cake that said ‘happy retirement’ written across the frosting. They were happy for him, they shared the same excitement he had. There was a thrill in his eyes again as they asked him about his plans.

“Tell us about this Y/N you met,” Emily cut into the laughter to get to the serious topics.

“I’ve been going to the park a lot recently and I found this little reading nook by a pond. She was there with her daughter and they invited me over to their picnic,” he realized how fake it all sounded as he continued to speak. “Her daughter is wonderful and super smart, I took them to the Smithsonian on Sunday and I’m completely smitten.”

Everyone swooned, happy to see him finally finding someone that makes him gush like this. It had been a very, very long time since Spencer has told any of them about a person, let alone someone he was in love with.

“She is wonderful,” Penelope added, “she makes the best tea and she lives in a literal Disney movie.”

Spencer laughed, “yeah she does. They probably read more books than I have, they make so many references all the time and they even dress up for what they’re reading, it’s amazing.”

They were amazed by how giddy he was, unable to stop smiling at him, “here we dressed up for the museum, I was milo from Atlantis and she was the old man in Tarzan,” he pulled his phone from his pocket to show them the photo.

It was his background now, Y/N sent it to him when he finally went back to his place Monday night, knowing he’d miss them. Not wanting him to be alone.

He was beyond proud to show them the photo, beaming from ear to ear as they all complimented his attire.

“She looks like you,” Kate added, “must be the genius gene,” she added, making awkward eye contact with JJ as they both clocked it.

“She’s exactly like me, that’s why Y/N likes having me around, it’s good for Amoreena to feel normal with the way our brains work,” he spoke about her like she was his own. Forever grateful to have her in his life.

“So when are you proposing?” Matt teased him. Knowing the feeling of love like this all too well with his perfect wife and a handful of children.

“I’m not trying to jinx anything,” Spencer admitted. “I actually have a job interview at the Library she works at later, so I’ll be around here a lot more.”

“He’ll be moved in by the end of the month,” Tara smiled, proud of him and the courage it takes to follow your heart.

“I’m going to miss you guys,” he presses his lips together softly, nodding as he avoids eye contact with them. “But you can call me whenever you need my brain, I guess.”

Hugs were exchanged as Spencer had to leave, Derek even offered to drive him back to his apartment to help with 4 boxes of books from his desk, and to have a bit of a talk like they always do.

“It’s surprisingly easy to be a dad, all you have to do is be there and love them,” Derek shared a tidbit of advice

“She told me she doesn’t mind me being like Amoreena’s dad, but I don’t think I can yet. I want her to decide when she wants me in that role.”

Spencer explains his feelings the easiest to Derek. Like he was already in his mind and knew the thoughts before he said them, Derek was never mad or disappointed in him. He loved him fully, and Spencer loved him right back.

“Like when you chose Gideon?”

Spencer can only nod, it’s still too sad to think about him being gone. “You know what it’s like, you love your father but there are other people in your life who fit the role better.”

“Yeah,” Derek agreed. “You’re going to be great, regardless of the name she uses when she thinks of you.”

“Thank you,” Spencer smiled as they pulled up to his apartment, “you should bring Hank to meet the animals this weekend sometime.”

“He’d love that,” Derek smiled back at him, patting his shoulder lightly. “I’m really proud of you.”

“I wouldn’t have been able to do it if you didn’t first,” he admits. “You’re a strong man who decided to put his happiness first, I can be too.”

“You sure as hell can,” Derek wrapped him up in one last hug before sending him off to live that best life he was talking about.

The only person who didn’t know yet was his mother. He wasn’t sure how to tell her, he knew she’d be proud of him regardless but that anxiety of disappointing her never went away even now that he was 40.

“Spencer!”

“Hey mom,” he smiled when she picked up. “How are you?”

“I’m fantastic, Marge and I are going on a walk later to see some ducks that were born, I really love it here Spencer,” he could hear it in her voice. She was much more joyful when she was surrounded by friends.

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“you sound happy, what’s going on?”

She was his mother, after all, she could know exactly how he’s feeling from just hearing him breathe or being in the same room as him. It was like a superpower, she always knew what was going on.

“I met someone,” he can’t help but smile. “And I quit the FBI to have a family.”

“You’re kidding?” He couldn’t read her tone, not sure if she was surprised or disappointed.

“Her name is Y/N, she has a 7-year-old daughter named Amoreena who is exactly like how I was as a child, you’d really like them,” he explains and he can hear his mother's smile from his end of the phone.

“I would love to meet them, you can bring them to visiting hours next Tuesday?” Diana offered, genuinely happy for him in a way that made his heart burst.

“I’ll see if they’re free and I’ll let you know.”

“I love you, Spencer,” she reminded him. “It’s nice to hear you’re happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

“I love you too, thank you, mom, for everything.”

She hangs up before they can get too emotional, leaving Spencer inside his sad little apartment all by himself. Taking the opportunity to pack his overnight bag for Y/N and pick out some books from his collection to show Amoreena.

There’s an envelope sticking out of one of his books that manages to catch his attention, taking it out to see his name written on it in Gideon’s handwriting. He almost forgot he had this, how important the words were.

Spencer,

I knew it would be you who came to the cabin to check on me. I’m sorry the explanation couldn’t be better, Spencer. I’m sorry it doesn’t make more sense, but I’ve already told you. I just don’t understand any of it anymore.

I guess I’m just looking for it again, for the belief I had in college, the belief I had when I first met Sara and it all seemed so right.

The belief in happy endings. When you find that, never let it go, Spencer.

Don’t let this job do to you what it did to me, get out and get a life when you can. I have faith in you, till I see you again, take care, son.

Gideon

He walked over to the window then, seeing a beautiful red and brown bird perched on his fire escape. He couldn’t help but smile, “I found my Sara, thank you,” he whispers to the bird who turns its head to the side before flying off.

Gideon always did have the best timing and the best advice.

—

“Y/N, your one o’clock is here to see you,” the receptionist at the Library said over the phone, hanging up and returning her attention to Spencer, “she’ll be with you in a moment.”

“Doctor Reid,” he hears her voice as she rounds the corner, appearing behind a stack of books in the most beautiful blue dress he’s ever seen. “Lovely to see you again.”

“You too,” he smiles.

“Right this way,” she can’t help but smile as she escorts him to her office.

“I don’t normally consider people who don’t send in a resume, but I have a feeling you’re going to be good at this,” she teased him as he sat at her desk.

“Allison is going on maternity leave in a few weeks, so you won’t start until she has the baby. If you’re serious about wanting this position, it’s only Monday through Thursday, 9 to 2:30.”

“You’re not going to ask me anything?”

“I don’t know if you know this, but the literary historian and I get to spend a lot of time together, I’d rather hire someone I know I already like,” she smiled again. “And it would be nice to see you every day without a 7-year-old taking all your attention away from me.”

“You just want to live out the fantasy of kissing someone in the encyclopedia section, don’t you?” He teased her right back, making her blush. “I knew it.”

“Sue me!” She laughed, and he finally understood what tinker bell meant when she said farries are born from the purest laughter.

He was in love with her right then and there, he was sure of it.

It had been under a week and yet as he stared at her, hearing her wonderful laughter and seeing her beautiful smile, knowing she wanted to spend time with him, that she genuinely liked him and none of this was one-sided, it made him fall harder than he thought he could.

“Come on then,” he stands abruptly, taking her hand and pulling her out the door.

She tries to giggle quietly as she follows him all the way back to the quietest section of the library. Most of the books on the shelves didn’t even have bar codes because they haven’t been checked out since the 60’s, no one needs them but they can’t seem to part with them.

She backs up against the shelf and pulls him into her space, he drops her hands and holds her face instead, looking at her beautiful eyes as they sparkled in the fluorescent lighting.

“I was expecting this to be hungrier than this when I imagined it all for all these years,” she whispers, biting her lip to force her smile back.

“You’re just so fucking beautiful,” is all he can say, brushing her cheeks with his thumbs lightly a few times before finally placing his lips against hers, ever so gently.

Her hands stretched around his back, pulling him in closer till their bodies are pressed together and then she’s kissing him deeper. Breathing in through her nose like she’s trying to keep him there forever, her fingernails dig into his shirt and he knows she wants more.

He slid his thigh between hers, opening his mouth to give her all the access she wanted and letting her take control of the speed. She wasn’t kidding when she said she expected it to be hungrier. She was kissing him like it was the first time she has had contact with another human being in years, and it just might have been. She said she was single for a while before Amoreena, probably the whole time since as well.

“Spencer,” she took a moment to gasp for air, breathing against his lips as he did the same. “Can we?”

He kisses along her jaw then, moving towards her ear to whisper, “do what? Use your words.”

“Anything, just touch me please, god it’s been 12 years,” she begged as quietly as possible, tugging at his hair as he nibbled on her earlobe.

He kissed down her neck making his way towards her chest. Holding her by the hips now, she arched her back into the shelf as he kissed all the way to where her dress started to cover her breasts but he didn’t stop. Kissing over her clothes as he dropped down to his knees in front of her.

He undid his tie, slipping it off his neck and handing it to her, “in case you need to scream into something.”

She held it in her hand for a second, registering what he just said and moaning softly in response as she held it closer to her lips, he took that as a yes and slipped under her dress.

She was wearing just a pair of regular cut pink underwear, not expecting this in the slightest when she got ready this morning. He kissed her over top of the fabric, spreading her legs so that he could kiss the insides of her thighs as she tried to desperately grind into his face. grazing his teeth against her skin as she shivers, thighs shaking in anticipation.

He kisses right where her clit should be under the fabric, knowing he’s correct when she whimpers around the tie he handed her. It's muffled and adorable as he kisses her again and again, knowing she wants more and teasing her gently.

He pulls her panties to the side, mesmerized by how perfect she is for only a second before returning to the task at hand. Being the first person to pleasure her in years, wanting her to have the best time possible.

With one hand he holds her panties back, using his other to slowly swipe a single finger through her folds to see just how wet she was. Smirking against her thigh as he’s able to slip right in.

“Please,” he hears her whisper, lifting the dress up so she could look at what he’s doing.

“Such a good girl for me,” he pressed the words against her skin.

He spreads her legs even further, resting one of them on his shoulder as he dives in, sucking her clit into his mouth abruptly as he pumps his single finger in and out. She jerks her hips at the sudden contact, stuffing the tie in her mouth and biting down as she whimpers.

He knows what he’s doing, where all the pleasure spots are and what feels the best on most women. Searching around and trying different tongue movements, memorizing the sounds she makes and attempting to hear them again and again, knowing it means she’s enjoying herself.

That’s all he wanted, to please her. Not even realizing how hard he was as he continues to eat her out furiously in the back corner of the DC Public Library. He forgets they’re even in public entirely as he moans against her clit, sending shockwaves through her body.

She’s quaking then, holding onto the top of his head with one hand as the other grips a shelf. She’s panting into the material of the tie, the hot breath making its way through the fabric and stopping the whorish moans he knew she’d make. It had been too long since someone treated her right.

He added a second finger then, wanting to push her over the edge as he curled them, finding her g spot and caressing it with every thrust of his fingers. She clenched around him then, a high-pitched noise left her mouth as she finished around him.

He couldn’t help but smirk, re-moving his fingers and cleaning them off in his mouth. Releasing them with a pop before dragging his tongue along her one last time. Gathering up everything she released and placing her panties back over her nicely.

He kissed over her underwear one last time before fixing her dress and standing up, “did I manage to fulfill the dream?”

She couldn’t help but laugh, looking like she was coming down from a real high, not just an orgasm. She pulled him in close and held onto him for dear life as she continued to catch her breath, and then her hand started to wander.

“Nope,” Spencer whispered, moving her hand away from his aching cock. “As much as I want to, I’d rather fuck you at home.”

“Home huh?” She teased him, kissing his cheek softly as she pulled back.

"I love you," he whispers against her ear, without a fear in the world that she didn't feel the same way.

"I love you too, Spencer."

They couldn’t stop smiling at each other, it felt surreal to be this happy. He kissed her a few more times, staying hidden in the back corner until the blood in his body let this dick and went back to where it was supposed to be.

She just held him in her arms, leaning back against the shelves as they kissed softly, running her hands through his hair gently, over and over. She whispered a few thank you’s to him, letting him know it was everything she waited for.

It was truly perfect.

—

Amoreena was so happy to see him back at the farm when she got off the bus, she missed him during the few days he wasn’t there.

She asked him to help with her homework, her teacher assigning them an “all about me” project to showcase their growth at the end of the year ceremony. It was almost June, she only had a few weeks left before she was off for the summer and free to show him around the whole kingdom.

Y/N brought out a box of craft supplies and a collection of photos. Showing Spencer every single moment of her and Amoreena’s life.

From her first sonogram to the first bump photo, she had and every maternity shot on the farm you could think of, to the day she was born, her first bath, first steps, chocolate cake shoved on her nose at her first birthday, everything. He felt like he watched her grow up in the blink of an eye, staring at all the photos while Y/N and Amoreena made a plan for her project.

She did look a lot like him, in some instances, she even looked like his mom. There was a look Diana would get when she was intrigued with something, or when she was trying to figure something out. She’d bite her tongue and tilt her head, and it was exactly what Amoreena did.

He never thought he’d see a child-like himself this early, he always expected someone to contact him at 18 and surprise him like Rossi. He really never, ever thought he'd have a child in his life who he was blessed with watching grow up. He never believed someone would have a kid so much like him and allow him to see the world through their eyes. He was amazed by how lucky he got, to be brought into an already happy family that wanted him, they didn’t just need him.

There was no need for a father in Amoreena’s life, she was happily living her life with her grandparents and her mother, explaining to him that she had a bunch of aunts and uncles, plus 15 cousins and they all lived close too. Her life was full of people to love her, and yet she wanted Spencer to love her too.

“Can I put the photo of us at the museum on here too?” She asked Y/N, looking at Spencer to see if he was okay with it too. “I already told my friends that you’re my dad.”

He felt like he couldn’t breathe, he didn’t want to cry in front of her so instead he just stopped all movement inside of his body and held it in. Looking at Y/N who was also a little emotional as Amoreena went back to looking through the photos.

Amoreena didn’t even notice how their expressions changed, she didn’t understand the weight of the words as she said them. She was oblivious to the hole in Spencer’s heart that she was filling with glitter glue, making him feel like he was whole again.

“Yeah,” he finally managed to speak. “I’d love to be on your project.”

“I know you said we don’t need dads but I kinda want one,” Amoreena’s soft expression made his heart melt even more. He was putty in her hands, willing to be whatever she wanted from him as long as he could.

“When did you say that?” Y/N asked softly, confused as to where she was when they had a conversation.

“The other morning at breakfast, um, my father left when I was little. It was just me and my wonderful mother until I was 21, then I found someone to call Dad. His name was Jason Gideon, he was my mentor and he made he feel like I was smart and loved,” he smiled, letting her know he genuinely meant it. “There’s a big difference between being a father and being someone's dad.”

“What’s that?” Amoreena’s innocent mind running wild as she tried to figure out his meaning.

“Anyone can be a father when two adults make a baby,” he said softly, making eye contact with Y/N as she blushed. Knowing where he was going with this. “But dads are special, they’re the people who are supposed to make you feel safe and loved. A person who you can turn to for advice and know he’ll love you no matter what you have to say. Dad’s are supposed to love you forever, regardless of what happens in life. Just like your mom does already.”

Amoreena leaned into his chest, pressing her head against him softly. He wrapped his arms around her gently, giving her the tiniest hug he’s ever given. “I pick you then, you’re the best guy I know and I think that means you’d be a good dad.”

Y/N silently cried, getting up from the table and walking into the kitchen so Amoreena wouldn’t see her sob. Spencer tried to widen his eyes so the tears he was generating would slip back into his tear ducts. Not wanting to cry as she held him.

“I’d love to be your dad,” he whispered, kissing her head softly as she held him tighter. “But first I’ve gotta check on your mom,” he whispered into her hair. Watching her pull away and look for where she was.

“Okay,” Amoreena shrugged, returning to her project as he wandered into the kitchen.

She was leaning against the counter when he walked in, her dress pulled up over her face as she cried into the material. Wiping her face as Spencer walked in and looking at him with the happiest smile.

She was laughing into her tears then, shaking her head as she sobbed, “why am I crying?”

He laughed then too, pulling her into a hug and spinning her around gently as she kept laughing. Her face buried into his neck as she smiled, he set her down gently so he could pull her into a kiss.

Her cheeks were all wet as he held her face, peppering kisses to her lips as they both tried to stop smiling.

“I’m going to miss hearing her call you Spencer,” Y/N whispered.

“Me too,” he giggled again. “But dad does have a good ring to it.”

tag list:

@shemarmooresfedora

@spencers-dria

@spookyspence

@reidsfish

@manuosorioh

[storysofmyown]

Seven stages of love Chapter 7, Epilogue: Philutia

Summary: Ever since the Celestial War, since they all fell, Asmodeus has  dedicated himself to his sin. Not caring about anything else, but  drowning himself in the pleasure and ecstasy of it all. But not anymore,  now he cant even handle the idea of it. But, what else is there to want? After so long of having indulged in his sin, what is there than  Asmodeus is looking for, something that will fill him, and that wont  drive him to destruction? Perhaps his brothers can help him with that. Warnings will appear in each chapter.  

Read on ao3

Word Count: 1818

Trigger Warning: None that I can think of. If you find any feel free to let me know so I can add them!

The house of lamentation was in an absolute uproar. Noises coming from every room in the house. Lucifer had his classical music on an all time high, his own way to shut away the noises that were coming from the kitchen, as Belphegor and Beel attempted to make some horrific concoction that went against Solomon's own cooking. As well as Mammon’s music that was blaring from his room, apparently having entered a context where the louder he listened to music, the more opportunity he had to win, meanwhile Leviathan was showing Satan an anime, the music of the intro being able to be heard through the entire house as it fought with that of his brothers. Except from one demon, who although had been having a messy head, who's words and screams were louder than all the noises in the house, was now oddly quiet. As he smiled at himself in the mirror.

Asmodeus placed the perfume bottle down, picking up the earrings Mammon had given him in exchange for having sold his designer shoes. They were quite pretty, for having been a gift from Mammon. The demon let out chuckle, it was...odd. Being able to look at himself in the mirror once more, gone the feeling disgust. A few days ago, he would have been to the point we're if he caught a glance of himself in the mirror, it would have been broken in a million pieces, accompanied by the blood that would have been pouring from his wounds. But now...now he was once more able to smile at the demon reflected in the mirror. A real smile, not like the ones be had given for so many years in order to fool himself and convince the corroded carcass of a demon to go out into the world.

Now, he was able to see himself. The real Asmodeus, the one that had been locked away from all that pain and all those desires, the one that wasn't controlled by the feeling of lust and the sin that had place a chain around his wrists and a leash on his neck. Finally allowing himself to breath the perfume of roses that lingered in his room, instead of the despair that came from his mind. Now he was ready to go out into the world again. But the world that he wanted to go out to, wasn't the same as the one he thought he needed. And he just hoped they would like the new Asmodeus, along with what he had to say, and how he wanted to say it.

"Asmo?"

Belphegor’s voice made Beel stop mid bite, looking in the direction his brother was. He had just entered the kitchen and was looking at the two with curiosity, not only that but he had adorned himself in the usual clothes he would wear to go out. Although, those were less...loud.

"Hi!" He spoke in his usual cherry tone, making the twins look at each other.

"You look nice." Beel spoke, food still in his mouth before he finished the bite.

"Are you going out?" The youngest leaned against the counter, fluffing the pillow in his hands slightly before his eyes fell on the older brother, who was ravaging the cabinets searching for all kinds of things.

"Nope! I was actually thinking of doing a movie night." The click of the bowl as it was set down on the table, and the crinkling of the bags, made Beel hungry, but aside from that, it attracted some other demon into the kitchen, who had been avoiding finding the eldest all afternoon.

"Yo, y'all cooking something?"

"Mammon! Perfect timing~" The fifth eldest grabbed onto the Avatar of greed's arm, pulling him into the kitchen and proceeding to place the bowl on his hands, already full. "Here, see that Beel doesn't eat them yet." As he spoke, he started taking cups out if the cabinets, and ice from the fridge.

"Oi, hold on. You can't just grab me and pull me like that-, Beel!" Mammon glared at his younger brother, who’s hand was almost already inside the bowl, mumbling an apology as he retracted it. "What are you even doing?"

"He's doing a movie night." Belphegor spoke, although none of the demons in the room knew if he was awake of asleep.

"We are making a movie night! None of you are escaping." Asmo stated, placing the cups, already full, in a tray. "Here, Belphie, you take this to the room. Beel, would you be a dear and search for some more food? We know it won't be nearly enough for all of us. I'll go get the others! You three wait for me in the living room~"

After searching through his home for the remaining of his brothers, two of them being more reluctant to participate, as he had expected. He and Lucifer went to the twin’s room and came back with an array of pillows and blankets to get comfortable all over the floor, at which Levi complained, only to be quickly shut up as they reminded him the position he took to play. Asmo finally managed to get all of them into the living room just in time to catch Beel almost eating from the bowl he had entrusted Mammon to protect. After a couple of more complaints, and a silent glare from Lucifer, Asmodeus finally managed to have all his brothers sit down.

"...ok, so you have us all here. Now what?" Leviathan asked, a little annoyed at having had his game taken away from him, just when he was about to beat a hard level.

"Now, we obviously watch a movie, dummy~" Asmo spoke from his position as he set up a DVD player, making Satan frown.

"I didn't know we still owned one of those."

"Hold on, isnt that-"

"Yes, Levi, this is yours. I think you saved it a long time ago in the attic." Asmo said, turning the device on and place a DVD inside the player, quickly hooking it up to the tv and sitting between him brothers, shoving Belphie to the side, effectively waking him up. "Now, get cozy, we are spending the whole night together~" he chuckles, only for some of his brothers to groan, although, none of them tried to get away from him and just smiled as the movie started.

It had been a few hours, and the known Avatar of Lust, along with the rest of his family, had went on to go on with their movie night. Well, movie night was to put it highly, in fact, they were watching some videos. This was what the Avatar of Lust truly wanted to do, spend time with his family, as he remembered how important they were. Videos from all the years they had spent together. Recorded in old cameras that at the time where the best technology possible. Old phones and pictures, them all sharing their own thoughts and stories behind all the images that flashed by. At first, they all seemed to be surprised that those were the 'movies' Asmodeus was referring too. But after a while, they grew fond of the idea, basking in the old memories and even sharing even older ones from the time they fell and fond times they remembered from the celestial realm, telling Satan all about them. Although, a certain older demon noticed how the young Avatar or Lust got slightly increasingly nervous each time it moved to another section. Until it got to a video, the quality as of the D.D. D’s they used now, and it showed Asmo, in his room, alone.

"...uh, hi?" The Asmo in the video spoke. By his state, they all could tell he had been obviously tired when recording this. "So, I'm...making this to put my thoughts in order, I guess?" He looked directly into the camera. "...but as I pressed the button I realized that...all I have in mind and all that I truly want to say is...thank you..."

The audio paused for a moment, an obvious distressed Asmo taking a moment to collect himself, the brothers all looked at the Asmodeus that was currently sitting between them all. Wide eyes in shock. The demon could feel the eyes on him, making a light pink come to his cheeks as he watched himself in the video. A slight feeling of shame, no, perhaps embarrassment at having decided to approach the situation in such a way.

“Asmo what is-” Lucifer was cut off by the video finishing, the screen turning dark. All brothers looking confused at Asmodeus, who could barely muster the courage to look at any of them, so, instead, he kept his sight glued to the floor, before speaking.

“I know…I have been difficult lately, and that you all have had a hard time dealing with me and…and all my questions. But…after speaking with every single one of you…” A small smile comes to his lips as he remembered the conversations, and what they had meant to him. They way they had opened his eyes to the world he had been missing, and to the one he had submerged himself in so deep there was no light anymore. “…I realized what it is that I was lacking. So, thank you, my dear brothers and…”

He pauses again, letting the silent set in his words to his brothers. It had been a long journey. And at first, he had felt so lost…like there was no way he could ever truly understand what was missing, or where to even beginning searching. But thanks to his brothers, and without even realizing it, he had been actually searching what it was missing. And he now understands. He understood better than anything else, better than even his own sin and his own mind and buddy, that the answer for what he needed laid right inside of the house of lamentation. Within himself, and one of the few ways he could start learning and reconnecting with who he was, was right around him.

With his family. With his big, stupid, loud, noisy family. The one that had watched him crumble and instead of mocking him had helped him get back up slowly. And now he was taking the first step after having been rebuilt slowly, the first step of the journey he had yet to complete. But that he wasn’t worried about, because he had his family. And to grasp and fully understand the thing he needed; the Avatar of Lust wouldn’t need to go anymore. And for him that was more than okay, because that meant he could stay close to those who had helped him trough it all. To those who would keep helping him. And to the six demons he only had one thing to say, and it the same thing he had to say to himself.

“I love you all”

Philutia: Self love

******

Hi, well, here we are, at the end. I am honestly surprised I managed to finish this in time, but hey, here it is! I really, really hope you all had enjoyed this fan fiction as much as I enjoyed writing it, and I guess I will see you all on my next fic obey me fic XD

Take care!

Previous chapter

Other works

[lany-d-flow]

Whisper Talk: Going Against Alternate Timeline Theories with a Theory, and Answering Questions Saying Otherwise.

Those who look with clouded eyes see nothing but shadows. -Sephiroth, Final Fantasy 7 Remake.

SPOILER WARNING

Pressing “Keep Reading” will bring you into spoiler territory for, well... Final Fantasy 7 Compilation and Remake, so this is your warning, all right buddy?

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of another work. What I predict may very well turn out to be untrue, and if you disagree with my prediction then that’s totally fine! (If you’d like, we could chat about it).

But honestly, I have spent the last few months thinking about this game in an unhealthy manner. I think having all of these whispers inside of my head with my frustration getting bigger is not going to move anything forward. So it’s time to wake up, get up, get out there and write thoughts about what is actually going on with Final Fantasy 7 Remake, while trying to clear up misconceptions that may be leading people astray. Perhaps the latter is the intention of the developers. If it is? Well, let’s move past the clouds and find the sunlight. 

All right, let’s mosey into this nonsense.

It’s been months since the release of Final Fantasy 7 Remake. After a long five-year wait for many fans, we got a piece of the story on the Playstation 4 in March and April 2020. It was exciting to see the capital of Final Fantasy 7, Midgar, be brought to life with state-of-the-art graphics. Treading through mako reactors, Sector 7 and Sector 5, the nasty Wall Market, Shinra HQ, hearing conversations of lively NPCs, exploring the subtle easter eggs and symbolism through visual storytelling... Goodness, so much of what this game had to offer was a delight! The developers put their heart and soul into fleshing out a section of Final Fantasy 7 that was, at most, 6 hours long. This level of detail cannot go unnoticed, and I’m sure it’s made everyone excited to see the reimagining of Gaia when we receive future installments!!!!

Oh, but wait... the developers introduced a new monster called Whispers, otherwise known as Arbiters of Fate, and... What purpose do they serve?! Why are these things in Final Fantasy 7 when they never had a role in the original game? Based on everything we saw in the story, they seem to be making sure the story of Final Fantasy 7 runs exactly as it’s supposed to. Without these ghosts, the story will not be 1:1. To make things worse, we have Sephiroth who’s from the future?! No wonder these Whispers are here, Sephiroth’s trying to rewrite history because everything he has tried before failed him!

So based on what we saw in Final Fantasy 7 Remake, the developers decided to create a metaphor for the fanbase, and since we defeated ‘destiny,’ we’ve defeated the fanbase’s say in where the story goes, thereby giving the developers permission to change the story the way they want it. Wow, this is pathetic on Square Enix’s part. Final Fantasy 7 is an amazing story with layers and layers of complex themes, why would they try to form it into something else? Now we’re going to have time travel and alternate timelines in the plot and Sephiroth seems unstoppable now. Heck, the developers are probably going to make sure impactful moments in Final Fantasy 7 do not happen, so Zack and Aerith are probably going to survive. And they’re also ditching the Compilation? Can these people be trusted? 

Final Fantasy 7 Remake is ruined!!!

Still with me? Well, this is just some of the talk that I’ve heard based on the execution of Final Fantasy 7 Remake’s plot. I won’t try to list every possible thing people are talking about, but I think we get the idea of the impression that our game’s ending put on a lot of players. So I wanted to give my input on what I believe is actually going on with the story, as well as answer many questions popping up about the circumstances of our game’s characters.

So, do I think the developers are changing the story?

Short Answer: No, at least not in the way that many people think. They’re “changing” the story by putting in new elements, moments that tie with the rest of the Compilation, but the main plot points (Overarching plot, the main crisis, the internal plot, the emotional climax, etc.) still need to happen. This series is more than 2 decades old, and with time it has received: a movie, 2 books, a sequel, 2 prequels, and now a remake with existing materials to tie into the game. 

Long Answer: All right, if you’re still with me, thank you. I will do my best to explain all of what’s going on. I’ll give my input via understanding how the FF7 Universe works; in other words, what the Whispers are, how the Whispers work, how they’ve actually always been apart of FF7 and are now receiving an expanded role, and how Sephiroth and Aerith showing meta behavior makes sense due to the power that the Planet has given to the Arbiters of Fate (exposure = visions out of context). I will also be answering questions that one may bring up as proof of an alternate timeline/story change and argue what their purpose may actually be.

So, let's Talk about A Whisper

Wait a minute...

So, let's talk about the Whispers.

Let’s start by explaining what the Whispers are, what function they serve to the Planet, and how the Planet creates them in the first place:

Whispers are souls that act as arbiters of fate and have been a part of the Planet for as long as the Planet has existed. They know the fate of the Planet from beginning to end, and their function is to make sure that a specific destiny runs its course. They all unite under the will of the Planet, just like the Sephiroth Clones all act under the will of Sephiroth, which is probably the reason why they were given a cloaky look: the Whispers' function parallels the Sephiroth Clones' function and both act under the authority of something else. They cannot be seen by everyone, and to actually see their physical manifestation, you need to either be 1) deeply connected with the Planet, or 2) receive some form of physical contact from someone who has a strong connection to the Planet. This is established early in Chapter 2 of Final Fantasy 7 Remake. Cloud meets Aerith for the first time, and at first glance she seems to be blown away by the wind. After Cloud and Aerith have an exchange and Aerith gives Cloud a flower, immediately after this we are greeted with an illusion of Sephiroth tormenting Cloud and more importantly, Aerith touching Cloud, allowing him to see the Whispers floating around the street. This follows the logic of my two points, as Aerith is a half-Cetra who’s been receiving visions of the past and future for years (her mural of symbolism in her Shinra HQ room was drawn when she received a vision as a child, though she does not understand the full context of what it means), and of course she ended up giving permission for Cloud to see the Planet’s protectors in action.

So how do the Whispers make sure destiny happens as intended?

Well, they do so by constantly observing the actions of the Planet’s people, sometimes in sight, sometimes not. If something happened that is off course, the Whispers immediately act to correct the course of said issue. We see this multiple times in the story. Some examples include: Aerith trying to leave the street where she meets Cloud, then proceeding to leave the street after meeting Cloud, following the Whispers’ intentions; Jessie getting injured in Sector 7 because destiny needs to make sure Cloud goes on the next AVALANCHE mission. If this didn’t happen, then Aerith and Cloud probably wouldn’t have met again; Surrounding the debris on top of Jessie to ensure her death takes place on top of the Sector 7 Tower (I’ll cover the speculation on her “survival” later); stopping Cloud from remembering everything about the Shinra Research Lab; stopping Hojo from revealing the truth of Cloud’s past (no way in Hell are they going to let the internal conflict unfold this early); reviving Barret from the stab wound that the Sephiroth remnant gave him; lastly, pushing Wedge down the Shinra HQ tower to ensure his death happens. Destined events either eventually happened, or they got delayed. This implies that the Whispers are nigh-omnipresent beings, especially given how many they are and how they were able to surround Midgar entirely, and their part of correcting destiny follows the flow of a river. As Red XIII puts it, “The flow of the great river that is the Planet, from inception to oblivion… For it is the will of the Planet itself”.

Cool. So how are the Whispers born? Where do they come from?

It’s actually a pretty straightforward explanation, and Aerith tells us in Chapter 18: Destiny’s Crossroads. Before the Whispers became Whispers, they were “Those born into this world. Who lived and who died. Who returned. They’re howling in pain.” This adds on to what Sephiroth said a moment ago: “All born are bound to her.” All Whispers were once living people, animals, etc. And all that are given life on the Planet are bound by something like a contract: You get made into an image and are given a physical life. In exchange, once that time’s up, you must return to the Lifestream and become a part of the Planet, being one of many who follow her will. You’re born, you live, you die, and you serve another purpose in a collective of spirits who are now tasked with making sure the flow of destiny is as it should be. By following all of this, we can conclude that 1) Everyone who lives on Gaia could eventually become a Whisper, and 2) since Whispers are a part of the Planet, they are formed from the Lifestream, the Planet’s lifeblood. This leads us into the next question...

How do the Whispers know the course of Destiny from start to finish?

Great question! The logical explanation to how they know is quite simple: the properties of the Lifestream. The Whispers are made out of Lifestream, and that gives them knowledge of the Planet’s destiny. I argue it is not farfetched to make this claim, as the Lifestream has shown time and again what it is capable of. Infact, let’s make an analogy of Lifestream manifestations via state of matter.

Lifestream: Its Three States of Matter and their Benefits and Side Effects

Mako is the liquid form of the Lifestream, Materia is a solid form of the Lifestream, while the regular Lifestream itself can be most equivalent to something of a gas/plasma, at least one that can be seen. Throughout Final Fantasy 7 we’ve seen what all of these forms can do. Mako is an extremely powerful energy source that powers all of Midgar through reactors, and is also what SOLDIERs are bathed in to possibly receive superhuman strength; Materia are jewels capable of all kinds of powerful magic; summoning fire, lightning, ice, creating shields, copying abilities of other living beings, healing, elevating other materia abilities, and most notably summon manifestations of powerful beings (Bahamut, Shiva, Ifrit, Odin, Knights of the Round). While the Lifestream itself? That’s all the souls of the planet with a consciousness that follows the Planet’s will. Some can appear as a physical manifestation, but they’re not quite solid, which is how Cloud’s buster sword moves through the Whispers as if he didn’t cut through anything. Use of the Lifestream can also create projections (think Aerith’s Chapter 14 resolution), allow access into someone’s subconscious under certain circumstances, and of course, give people visions of the past and future without any context as to how those events happen(ed).

All three forms of the Lifestream have side effects, too.

Materia can degrade the vitality and strength of the user. Think of it as a trade-off for borrowing the Planet’s lifeblood in the form of a jewel.

Mako can cause extremely intense mental breakdowns and break the psyche of those without strong mental resilience, which is why Cloud was unable to make it into SOLDIER. But he eventually received Mako exposure anyway. What happened? Oh yeah, he went into a comatose state not once, not twice, but THREE times. First during experimentation, second when he arrived at Midgar before Tifa bumped into him, and when he fell into a pool of Mako and washed up on the shore of Mideel.

Meanwhile, Lifestream side effects are non-contextual visions, loss of sanity similar to Mako (think Tifa before she entered Cloud’s subconscious), and if the Lifestream has something in it, infection! That’s how Geostigma came to be: Jenova cells from Sephiroth, Jenova, and the remnants were floating in the Lifestream, and when the latter destroyed Meteor, it also exposed humans to Jenova cells, turning into a severe disease that is deadliest toward hosts with emotional fragility. This is why Cloud has a “Geostigma episode” in Advent Children when he runs into an injured Tifa.

Even with all these side effects, the benefits are far too great to ignore. All this power from the Lifestream is why Sephiroth and Jenova wanted to siphon it for themselves in the first place. By siphoning the Lifestream resisting side effects, one can receive unparalleled powers. Sephiroth himself said it in the original game: 

“By merging with all the energy of the Planet, I will become a new life form, a new existence. Melding with the Planet… I will cease to exist as I am now. Only to be reborn as a god to rule over every soul.”

Notice how the last quote aligns with what Sephiroth said in the Edge of Creation about the Nebula? 

“Our world will become a part of it… one day.” 

We’ll come back to that statement, I promise. But for now, based on everything I’ve told you, here’s what I think is going on in Final Fantasy 7 Remake:

Sephiroth is not from the future. His exposure to the Lifestream for the last 5 years gave him the side effect of non-contextual visions. Among these visions, he probably saw his master plan fail. Eventually he realizes that the reason he has these visions is because of the Whispers and more specifically, the Planet’s Weapon Arbiter. The Whispers are fighting against Sephiroth as he’s gained both a rough understanding of the future and the Lifestream’s powers by siphoning it up. So, his new master plan? Defeat the Arbiters of Fate and THEN continue with his original plan. Sephiroth being omnipresent makes sense given his control over Jenova and her shapeshifting, S cells that allow him to puppetize clones and Cloud, and being in the Lifestream basically giving him more power with one form of that being omnipresence. What’s going to lead to his downfall is ultimately his arrogance: he probably thinks that just stopping the Whispers is enough for him to win. So while the physical manifestation of fate is gone, Sephiroth still needs to meet the same criteria to win: get the Black Materia to summon Meteor, his ticket to siphon up all the Planet’s Lifestream, which means he also needs Cloud to give him the Black Materia, which then means that eventually Aerith will have to summon Holy and eventually become one with the Lifestream to beat Meteor.

See how all of this comes together without time travel theories that go off on insane tangents? It’s established that the Whispers know the course of destiny from past, present and future. But WHERE did it say that they can travel through time? WHERE did it say that Sephiroth can travel through time with the Lifestream? That kind of power would be an enormous retcon to the story and the functions of Gaia, and it would also lead to a really convoluted plot that can deviate from the main themes of the story (trust me, some theories out there are wild). We do know that Whispers are in a singularity and it moves like a river, which as @silver-wield cleverly put in a post about the story of FF7R, translates to:

The arbiters of fate issued a correction to Wedge and made him fall out of the window in the Shinra building. Which means fate cannot be altered, merely delayed, which then leads to a more painful end for not accepting that fate.

...Or perhaps shuffled up with ultimately the same necessary outcome, because the river of destiny was put on a different course but is still heading to the same destination. There are multiple works in the compilation that the writers and developers would like to tie together to the main story. What’s a way for them to execute this? By making a metaphor for the OG storyline and by beating it giving them permission to add new things? From a certain point of view, sure, but the developers never needed permission to do this in the first place. But the side effect of beating the physical manifestation of destiny was likely shuffling parts of the story of Final Fantasy 7, prequels all the way to the chronological sequels. One can make a case for this based on the explosion felt at Midgar when the Arbiter and Sephiroth were defeated in the Singularity. The glitters of light could also reflect this change. From all this I argue freedom came to be, and characters from the Compilation might make an appearance during the main story such as Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo. However, no matter what changes are present, the outcome will be the same. Cloud is not properly himself yet; he still thinks he made it into SOLDIER, he gets slight interferences from Jenova throughout the story (example: Cloud’s hand twitching when against Sephiroth at the Edge of Creation), he has the Buster Sword but still doesn’t remember who its original owner was, so his unreliable narration, downfall and emotional climax still need to happen. Aerith is the only character who can summon Holy and the only character who can call forth the Lifestream, and the only way she can call forth the Lifestream is by becoming one with it. How can she do this? There’s only one way: Death. Sorry guys, but if both Sephiroth and Aerith have prophetic visions of the future, there’s a chance that both know what must be done for themselves to get the upper hand. Sephiroth still wants to siphon up the Lifestream and become an omnipotent God, and the best way for him to do this? Summon Meteor. What does he need for this? The Black Materia. Who does he manipulate into giving him the Black Materia at the Northern Crater? Cloud.

My point from all this is that there are specific beats that need to happen to move the plot forward, no matter what new things they add from the Compilation. Using a different crisis for the overarching plot that isn’t Meteor is a retcon to the story, and why advertise Meteor and have it as the centerpiece of artworks and the title screen if you’re not going to use it in the first place? That’s just… really strange. We can add things in the middle of the plot to flesh out the main themes of a story while staying faithful to the outcomes. Adding something entirely different as a crisis like time travel in a game that has never been about time travel is out of place, unnecessary, and people are placing way too much faith in this being true while not looking at the bigger picture and function of Final Fantasy 7’s power tools. I believe the developers want you to think that the story is changing, that a happier outcome is in store for everyone. This all works with what Final Fantasy 7 did for many players in the first place: subvert expectations by placing us in an illusion with an unreliable narrative. We assumed Cloud made it into SOLDIER until we found out he never made it into SOLDIER and created a facade to conceal the truth that he was afraid to face. We thought Aerith was the love interest when the game kept making us appreciate her perky attitude until she ended up dying and then we discover in the Lifestream Sequence that Cloud’s romantic feelings, his whole reason for fighting, was for Tifa. We thought Shinra was the main antagonist of the game until shortly after going through Midgar, the main antagonist is Sephiroth. We thought we were fighting Sephiroth throughout the game until we find out that the real Sephiroth was encased in a crystal sucking up the Lifestream. We don’t actually fight him until the very end when he merges with Jenova and the Lifestream into Bizarro Sephiroth and Safer Sephiroth.

See where I’m going with all of this? The developers want to continue using red herrings and playing the theme of illusion by using different methods. The old methods will not work anymore, so they have to find a new way to subvert expectations in a way that gets us confused, excited, and uncertain what will happen until we actually play through the next installments. When that time comes, be prepared to get your heartstrings pulled, because reality hits our characters hard, just like it hits us hard. Think Biggs, Zack, Aerith are going to survive, and that Sephiroth is travelling through time to accomplish his devious tasks? Well, think again.

Now that we’ve gotten this far into this Whisper Talk, there are a load of questions I will need to address. So without further ado, Let’s mosey!!!

How is Sephiroth not from the future? His one-winged form from Advent Children Complete was shown in the final boss fight, the boss map looks eerily similar to Edge, and we saw multiple Sephiroths throughout the story. The game is heavily implying that Sephiroth is from the future and he wants to try to achieve victory a second time.

Well, for starters, First Class SOLDIERs having wings has been a thing for a while. Sephiroth was not the only SOLDIER to have a wing. As Final Fantasy 7: Crisis Core showed us, Sephiroth’s comrades, Angeal and Genesis, were able to grow wings at will. They had different cells (G cells) which gave them a different ability, make copies of themselves, rather than control others who share their cells, sure, but that is NOT stopping any of them from growing wings at will. It’s something used across the board for all three of these really powerful SOLDIERs and it’s no surprise that this time around, they want to show Sephiroth using more of his abilities throughout the game.

Also, Sephiroth having one wing is nothing new. It’s part of his Safer form and is named on his track, One-Winged Angel. So, as an homage, they wanted the villain of the game to use a wing during his fight in Advent Children.

There’s also another way we can explain this. Sephiroth formed a body of his image in Advent Children thanks to Kadaj. And what purpose does Kadaj serve? He’s a strengthened remnant embodying Sephiroth’s cruelty. In other words, he’s another puppet Sephiroth can manipulate. And he uses Kadaj’s body + Jenova’s head to form his image. A clone and Jenova cells, or just straight up Jenova, allow him to shapeshift as that’s one of Jenova’s trademark abilities. So using this as an implication of time travel doesn’t add up.

When it comes to Sephiroth’s 70 alternative accounts, each of them have a straightforward explanation, including the one that confuses most people. Here we go, according to the FF7R Ultimania:

An illusion only Cloud can see:

Cloud has S cells injected into him. The same S cells are also Jenova cells. Jenova cells allow hosts to read the memories of those nearby, inherit the memories of other hosts, and give Sephiroth shapeshifting and puppeting abilities on those who have S cells. This is how Cloud created his SOLDIER facade thanks to Zack’s injection, similar memories and instinct to hide from the truth. What’s likely going on here is Sephiroth is able to make Cloud hallucinate thanks to said S cells, hence why it’s an illusion ONLY Cloud can see. We saw this during the Nibelheim flashback, meeting Aerith for the first time, after the Sector 7 Plate collapse when he was behind Tifa. This is another way of showing Sephiroth’s omnipresent power.

Also, if we're going to get really specific about the properties of Jenova cells, we can look at a source like FF7 Ultimania Omega:

Jenova's mimic ability Jenova has a mimic ability which allows it to read the memories and feelings of others, then adjust its appearance, speech and behaviour accordingly to imitate what it has seen. Jenova once used this ability to get close to the Ancients and infect them with its virus, which killed many of them.

This ability is not limited solely to Jenova itself, for those who have its cells within them passes it as well, though in an incomplete form. Immediately prior to the start of the game, when Cloud's mind was shattered, he ran into Tifa and seemed to immediately return to "normal"; this was because of the mimic abilities of the Jenova cells inside Cloud read her mind, seeing her memories of him, which were then combined with his own ideal vision of himself, fashioning a new personality for himself.

And there you go. Jenova's signature abilities are shapeshifting and illusion. It's mentioned in her backstory, It's shown in her boss battles, it's shown in Jenova-infected hosts, and it's even shown in her OST! The illusion aspect being something only Cloud can see makes sense, thanks to his Jenova S cells, so the developers are expanding this ability.

Black Robed Man:

Simple. These are Sephiroth Clones, also known as Remnants. Each of these puppets have S Jenova cells injected into them, which is what allows Sephiroth to create illusionary projections of himself via their bodies. They can also create an illusion of Jenova’s Lovecraftian forms. If predictions are correct, there’s a chance that a couple of them could end up becoming the Advent Children (more on that later).

Flashback:

Also simple. This connects to what was mentioned in Cloud’s illusion. Cloud knows events he should not thanks to his Jenova S cells, and flashbacks like, “Within my veins flows the blood of Ancients. This Planet is my birthright!” are events that will be featured later in the game in moments like the Kalm flashback. Moving on!

Unknown:

This is where people get confused. But believe me, the answer is MUCH simpler than most people realize. The Unknown Sephiroth is the last form of Sephiroth that we fought in Final Fantasy 7. Yes, the shirtless one. From here forward I'll call him SOLDIER Sephiroth. For reasons I do not know, they decided not to make him shirtless this time around (too sexy by far?) but believe me when I say that that Sephiroth is the same one we saw at the Edge of Creation. How am I so sure of this? Look back at how Cloud met that Sephiroth in Remake and compare it to what happened in the Crater. They have the same tunnel of light and Cloud’s visiting a persona of Sephiroth that exists in a dimension unaffected by time and space. The Lifestream gives Sephiroth the opportunity to pull Cloud's conscious mind into this dimension. Cloud being in the Singularity during the final battle of FF7R Part 1, and the Singularity containing Lifestream = ability to take Cloud to meet SOLDIER Sephiroth in a pocket dimension, the Edge of Creation. In OG, being exposed/near the Lifestream in the Crater allowed Cloud to visit Shirtless SOLDIER Sephiroth in another dimension and finish him off, with Aerith helping Cloud return his consciousness to the real world.

See?! It actually makes a lot of sense, only this time Sephiroth hasn’t been stripped of his God powers and is currently siphoning the Lifestream. So this time around, Cloud couldn’t beat down Sephiroth. The reason the FF7 Remake Ultimania labels this Sephiroth as unknown is because it’s following a narrative where it assumes you do not know everything yet. Final Fantasy 7 Remake has only covered Midgar, and there’s still many places and moments we have yet to explore. But the Ultimania is not going to cover them until they are published in the next installments, and why would it tell us unrevealed "secrets" of the story? So for now, it has to act as if this is a mystery. This is the same case with Zack being labeled as “Missing in Action” rather than dead in the Ultimania, because we have not reached that moment in the plot yet. But I’ll cover that a bit more on one of the next questions.

As for Sephiroth being prophetic in the Edge of Creation, it’s simply foreshadowing what we’ll eventually have to face. “That which lies ahead… does not yet exist” is telling us that the final battle still has years before it’s ready to be unleashed. As for the Nebula, “Our world will become a part of it… one day,” this is a more vague statement of what I quoted earlier:

“By merging with all the energy of the Planet, I will become a new life form, a new existence. Melding with the Planet… I will cease to exist as I am now. Only to be reborn as a god to rule over every soul.” The Nebula that Sephiroth is staring at is stated in the FF7R Ultimania to represent Sephiroth’s wing(s). This same Nebula also has a similar shape to the original sketch of Safer Sephiroth. So, based on what SOLDIER Sephiroth told Cloud, we can conclude that Safer Sephiroth will one day be born and be the last fight for our team, maybe even taking place in the Edge of Creation. BUT it’s not quite time for that to happen yet, as Safer Sephiroth's physical body is still resting in a crystal at the Northern Crater. So there you have it!

Lastly, conceding the battlefield against Sephiroth, it is an homage to Advent Children and Edge, yes. That does not automatically mean that Sephiroth is from the future. We just fought arbiters of destiny who turned themselves into depictions of the three Advent Children. This is ultimately the developers' way of ending the game with an exciting boss battle and a somewhat familiar scene. It's just a manifestation of one of Gaia's locations while in the Singularity. Also, this whole boss battle was ultimately a fanservice-esque decision by the developers, particularly Co-Director Naoki Yamaguchi. They originally did not plan to have this boss battle in the first place, but they wanted to end this game on some kind of high note with the main antagonist. They could've ended the game with the Arbiter boss battle, and I think doing so would have confused less people, but the reason behind the Sephiroth boss battle has been spoken. We can conclude this: it was a Jenova/Remnant copy of Sephiroth using expanded abilities like his wing and absorbed some of the Whispers' power before this Sephiroth was defeated by the team and the Whispers were released from his grasp. There is no need to overthink this decision (but yes, I don't think it was entirely necessary).

But what about the Arbiters manifesting into images of Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo? Whisper Rubrum, Viridi, Croceo, and Bahamut SHIN are all representations of Advent Children’s antagonists and their bio says they are from a “future timeline.” Isn’t this proof that there’s time travel and alternate timelines going on?

Well, you are right about the enemy intel bio in Final Fantasy 7 Remake stating that these guys are manifestations of figures from a future timeline. BUT that does not imply that multiple timelines are forming. Technically speaking, we all live in one timeline that follows through a singularity. This is the same case for Final Fantasy 7, and the very place we are fighting these Whispers is called the Singularity. The reason the Whispers are forming into these creatures is because of their future knowledge. This is their way of shapeshifting into powerful foes that can defend themselves against the team. They are turning into foes that destiny will one day birth, but in the form of something akin to a Weapon just like the main Arbiter itself, and this is also the developers way of adding a homage and possibly a hint of the foes that will appear in the future. They are NOT the Advent Children themselves, otherwise there would probably show more personality, and they would also… look more like them. So what happened with “time” after defeating these Advent Whispers and the Arbiter Weapon? Well, it sharpened the curves of the river and put destiny on a new course, but to the same destination, hence the “set beginning and end” that the developers mentioned before. In the river’s new course, we’ll get new events that while still having original events that will all be more fleshed out. In part of this new course of destiny maybe there’s a chance that we will see the Advent Children themselves. How can I be sure of this? After speaking to a friend about it, the remnants we encountered give us a hint. Marco, #49, resides in Sector 7. Who was a teenager that resided in Sector 7 before becoming a remnant and then Advent Child? Kadaj, also known as the manifestation of Sephiroth's cruelty. Meanwhile, we have #2 in Sector 5, who shows strong features fitting for someone in SOLDIER. Who fits this category? Loz, also known as the manifestation of Sephiroth's strength. People have theorized that #2 is Zack, but I do not agree and will address that later. The only remnant candidate we have left is Yazoo, the manifestation of Sephiroth's allure. This makes sense as he’s the most silent of the trio, so the developers will keep his remnant in mystery for now. But there you have it. By Nomura stating, "Come back to me a few years later and ask me what remake means," what I believe he means by "remake" is write the original story of Final Fantasy 7 with characters in other parts of the compilation included. Hence, a shuffled story with the same necessary outcomes.

Okay, but didn’t the developers say that Final Fantasy 7 Remake is not canon to the Compilation, thereby making it a different story from the Compilation and proving the developers are ditching the original story in the process?

Let me tell you right now: if those lines were what they actually said in full context, then they were lying. How am I sure? Because throughout FF7R, parts of what happened in the Compilation are included in the story. Zack’s Last Stand was featured in a flashback; Hollow’s lyrics greatly parallel the lyrical version of Price of Freedom; one of Cloud’s old Shinra Military comrades was featured and mentioned Kunsel, from Crisis Core; and of course the big Arbiters being manifestations of the Advent Children.

For saying the Compilation is being ditched and is the bad ending, why include characters and homages specifically from the Compilation? If they really were, they wouldn’t put pieces of it into the story like this. All that was stated by Director Tetsuya Nomura was that FF7 Remake is not canon to the Compilation YET. Keyword YET. The story is incomplete and the developers need to see Remake through from start to finish before they can say it’s truly canon to the Compilation. And what have Scenario Writer Kazushige Nojima and Producer Yoshinori Kitase said about the story?

Does this sound like they’re ditching the Compilation to you? I think this should sum up how they are tying the series of Final Fantasy 7 into one big package, but there are some people saying that the team seeing Advent Children and the Planet 500 years later, followed by Red XIII saying it’s “a glimpse of tomorrow if we fail here today” as proof that what happens in the future is a bad ending. This is not entirely true. It makes sense for humanity to be gone 500 years later with the Planet living on because that was the life that the team was trying to save in the first place. What Red XIII told us was simple: that if Destiny wins, then the river of Destiny will run the same course, and that includes the events of On The Way To a Smile, Advent Children, Dirge of Cerberus, and of course humanity being gone 500 years later. This is another case of the team receiving future visions without context, as I addressed before. They saw an event where they maybe saw people they knew, but do they know what leads to it? No. So what they assume about the outcome of the future and what’s good and bad may not necessarily be correct. They will find that out as the next parts of Final Fantasy 7 Remake are released.

Okay, but aren’t the characters free to do whatever they want now that they have beaten Destiny? As Aerith said, they have boundless, terrifying freedom.

They have freedom from the Whispers, and like Zack once said, “The price of freedom is steep.” They can begin their journey without the worry of the Whispers acting up if they do something that strays far away from what’s necessary. That doesn’t mean that they are not going to head to all the destinations we needed to reach in the original game. We will still probably have the flashback at Kalm since it’s the nearest town away from Midgar. We still need to pass through the Mythril Mines to get to other destinations. We still need to pass through Corel, Barret’s hometown, to get to the Gold Saucer where we will meet Cait Sith and reach Barret’s character climax. We still need to reach Gongaga and this will likely be a required place to visit because of how much more importance Zack is given in Remake. There’s also no working reactor in Gongaga so there’s a chance that yellow reunion flowers will grow as foliage. We still need to head to Cosmo Canyon, where Bugenhagen will teach us more about the Lifestream and where Red XIII will learn the truth about what happened to his father Seto. We still need to head to Nibelheim where a lot of confusion is going to rise within our team--specifically Cloud and Tifa--and also where we need to release Vincent from the Shinra Mansion. We still need to cross Mt. Nibel (we might get a flashback from Cloud) and head to Rocket Town to meet Cid and drink some goddamn tea. We still need to head to the Temple of the Ancients for the team to find out what needs to be done to save the Planet, and also the place where Sephiroth will manipulate Cloud and the team into giving him the Black Materia. We still need Aerith to head to the Forgotten City as it’s the only place she can use her prayer to activate the White Materia and summon Holy. We still need to head to the Northern Crater as that’s where Cloud will likely have his downfall and submit to Sephiroth….

We could keep going on with this, but I’m sure you see my point. New things will happen but there are important locations that the team needs to reach in order to come closer to their goal of stopping Sephiroth. The simple thing is that, from here on out, the Whispers will not intervene, giving us the illusion that things will change, but we most likely will learn the hard way that the necessary outcomes will still happen. So once again, the river is on a new course to the same destination.

Okay. You’ve talked about Sephiroth not being from the future, but what about Aerith? Her prayer stance in the opening cinematic looks eerily similar to her stance in the ending of Final Fantasy 7. Based on this, is she from the future/did she see the outcome of the Meteor-Lifestream-Holy Conflict?

No. What probably happened was the developers paid homage to that ending screen. What follows immediately after that is Aerith picking up a crushed reunion flower, symbolizing the non-reunion that Aerith and Zack could not receive in life, but eventually receive in the Lifestream. And once again: Aerith has received visions of the future, but without context as to why and how they happened. In a novella it’s mentioned that Aerith received a vision as a child and drew her mural of symbolism in her room as a result. We know she’s been receiving non-contextual visions for awhile, but being forced into a big responsibility by the Planet is something she needs to learn to accept, and that’s part of her character arc we will receive in the next parts of FInal Fantasy 7 Remake. There is no evidence she can time travel, and she doesn’t always know the Whispers’ intentions. When the team asked her what they were doing while surrounding the Shinra HQ Tower, she simply replied, “Who knows?”. She’s not omniscient. She has some meta knowledge and a big responsibility, but does not know how to handle this role yet. And that's where character development comes in for our Maiden of the Planet.

Cool, but why are people like Rufus and Hojo able to see the Whispers in the first place? And maybe Zack, too?

Actually, there’s a pretty straightforward explanation for this. As we know, to be able to see the Whispers, once again you have to either be heavily connected to the Planet or touched by a special person. Aerith spent a portion of her childhood in the Shinra HQ Tower. Who else was there with her? Her biological mother Ifalna. These two are both Cetra, one half and one full-blooded. Hojo likely spent hours upon hours with both of them, especially Ifalna, so receiving contact from them is not farfetched. Also, that gross f***** of a scientist does unfortunately play an important role in the plot and keeping the flow of destiny on course. As for Rufus? This man was a teenager when Aerith and Ifalna were living in Shinra HQ. It’s very possible that he ran into one of the two cetra and maybe received contact from them. If he didn’t? Don’t forget, this man is the president of Shinra throughout almost all of FF7. Even if the team opposes him, they still need him. He is very necessary to destroy the barrier that blocks the team from getting into the Northern Crater. Without his actions, the team cannot make it to Sephiroth. It’s that simple. And even though he can see the Whispers, how much does it matter? It’s only going to matter if the Whispers make a resurgence sometime in the plot. There you have it.

Okay, but why is Zack alive after his Last Stand? And why were the Whispers present during this? Also, what about the Stamp bag? Isn’t this proof of time travel and alternate timelines?

And here’s where the red herring comes in! He did beat the Shinra Army. And yes, the Whispers were present. BUT why were they present? Remember what was mentioned earlier? The Whispers are dead souls returning to the Planet, and if that’s the case they have been part of the Planet for a LONG time. This means that they were ALWAYS present through the course of events in the Planet. The reason we see them during Zack’s Last Stand is likely to throw one off at first, until they connect the dots with how old the Whispers actually are. And they are showing themselves in the Last Stand because this is an extremely important event that has to happen for Cloud’s next journey to begin. We didn’t quite get to see how the Whispers changed up the event, but they likely did form it in a way where the developers wanted to trick us. It's also left ambiguous if he can see the Whispers or not, although they do not seem to alarm him IF he can see them.

Now, about the Last Stand, If you compare Remake’s Last Stand to Crisis Core and Final Fantasy 7 OG, you’ll notice that Remake’s moment has similarities to the OG scene.

Zack walks, drops Cloud in a safe place, and defends himself against the soldiers in all three. So here's where the cutscenes get different:

FF7 OG: Zack fights against Shinra infantrymen. We don't see the troops, but Zack thinks he defeated them. Afterwards he heads to Cloud but immediately gets shot by a group of Shinra troops, and I mean shot. Afterwards, there is no dialogue between Zack and Cloud, Cloud grabs the Buster Sword and starts breaking down in the rain. Thus, his journey--nearly--begins.

FF7 Crisis Core: Zack confronts the Shinra army. He begins his monologue:

Boy oh boy... The price of freedom is steep. Embrace your dreams, and whatever happens... Protect your honor, as a SOLDIER!

We then proceed to battle the Shinra army. Eventually, the screen fades to black and we see Zack mortally wounded. The same group of Shinra troops from OG come over and bullet Zack to death. Eventually, Cloud wakes up in shock, and Zack parts Cloud his sword and last words:

For the both of us... You're gonna... Live. You'll be... My living legacy. My honor, my dreams... They're yours now.

Cloud then proceeds with a breakdown, and afterwards begins his journey, where he'll bump into a certain someone while in Mako comatose. Sheesh I hate watching that scene due to its deadly side effect.

Where does Remake stop?

Right in the area where Zack’s grave is, a cliff with a steep descent to flat land. It’s the same spot where Zack got shot by a Shinra infantryman who pursued Zack throughout his running away from Shinra Mansion; it's the same spot where Cloud placed the Buster Sword to honor his close friend’s wish; and the same spot where Zack declared, “For the both of us… you’re going to live. You’ll be… my living legacy.” The developers intentionally stopped us from seeing the outcome of that moment because it’ll either be the same place where Zack will die, or we’ll see his fate get delayed and placed somewhere else. 

I have also seen people argue that #2 is Zack, or if not Zack, then Zack’s corpse.

This is false.

Remember why Zack was placed in a cryosleep tube in the first place? Because, like Cloud, he was considered a failed experiment by Hojo because the S cells could not turn him into a Sephiroth clone. Zack becoming a Sephiroth clone would be a major retcon to the story and how he was able to escape with Cloud in the first place. Zack becoming a clone would mean that he was never a failed experiment. And what would happen if he wasn’t a failed experiment? Cloud wouldn’t be able to escape and FF7 wouldn’t have happened. Could Hojo have picked up Zack’s dead body after his death? Maybe, but is there evidence that his corpse would still become a clone? That’s extremely unlikely in my personal opinion. We would have to assume that Hojo did another clone experiment this time around and the Shinra troops decided to take his body with them when they had no good motive or order to do so anyway. Their orders were likely  “shoot to kill” and that’s it. We don’t need Zack’s corpse to be remade into a clone, and we certainly don’t need him to be a clone if Sephiroth wants to do something like create an illusionary projection of Zack. Remember what happened in the Northern Crater? Sephiroth used Jenova to create an illusion of Tifa in order to trick the Black Materia holder into “helping” the team.

Lastly, that bag of Stamp's Champs, Original Flavor.

It’s interesting, isn't it? And Nomura told us to pay close attention to both stamps. This is probably the biggest case of an alternate timeline being real, but after thinking about it for a while, I argue that it's not proving an alternate timeline exists, but rather it's being shown to give focus to two different heroes. And how does this work in the FF7 world? Well, Shinra probably has simple rebranding of Stamp on a Shinra product. It’s not uncommon for corporations to rebrand their products into a different name (just look up Lay’s Potato Chips and you’ll come across Walkers, as shown in my poorly collaged photo). BUT there's another example to talk about, as a friend mentioned. Stamp's Champs are the "original" flavor. This original flavor and Terrier is being used to represent Zack in FF7, as he was once called a "puppy" by his mentors in FF7 Crisis Core. Now, that bag is calling to the original hero, who was Zack (could also be an homage to how Zack's design was originally assigned a "different" role in FF7 OG) up until he passed his dreams on to Cloud. So what this means is both Stamps are used for wither a different flavor or got rebranded after a certain amount of time passed, or the Stamp brand has the same flavor is different depending on the location in Gaia. Now for the second functionality for Stamp: It's being used as a red herring to mislead the players deeper in to the mouse trap. Remember Stamp’s original function in the context of Shinra? It served as a propaganda device for Shinral to promote its use of warfare for wealth to mislead the public into thinking Shinra’s deeds were for progress and beneficial for the Planet. It’s very possible that the developers are using Terrier Stamp as a propaganda device to trick the face-value players into thinking everything’s going to be different for the story until we're shown otherwise. And if it actually is an alternate timeline? It will not affect our team. As established previously, there is no time travel that our team is capable of, and the Whispers act on a fixed flow under the Will of the Planet and are almost omnipresent, so they must correct the course of destiny in the present and as quickly as possible. That alternate timeline would probably just be used to show us that no matter what we do, what’s set in stone needs to be kept in stone. So, don’t get your hopes up that Zack is going to survive, especially since he already passed on the Buster Sword to Cloud in the present "timeline" that we're playing.

But why is there a different Seventh Heaven sign shown during the ending sequence? Isn’t this proof of an alternate timeline?

Careful now. There’s a big possibility that what was shown during that shuffled sequence of events was the original Seventh Heaven bar. That’s right, there was a Seventh Heaven before Tifa’s in Sector 7. How do I know this? It’s a sidequest in Final Fantasy 7: Crisis Core. Zack met an unnamed carpenter in the Sector 7 slums and helped name the bar. The canon answer in the narrative is to choose the name Seventh Heaven. So what’s likely happening here is 1) we saw a past event of the first Seventh Heaven bar being worked on, as the folks of the slums are building their homes together; 2) we are seeing the folks rebuild the Sector 7 slums, and perhaps to honor what was once there, the folks are building another bar and making sure to keep the original name Seventh Heaven, or 3) pretty much what I said before and it’s happening in an alternate timeline. Regardless, there’s a good chance that Crisis Core is being referenced here. And if it isn’t and it’s different events happening in an alternate timeline? Once again, our friends can’t go to that alternate timeline because time travel is not a power they have. So, it doesn’t really affect the main beats of our journey. What may happen, though, is our team will visit the Sector 7 slums later down the line, and they’ll have a reunion with a rebuilt home before settling the score with Shinra and Sephiroth. Until we see it, though, that’s just headcanon.

But why is Biggs alive? Aren’t Wedge and Jessie alive, too?

Biggs is shown to be alive, yes, but at what point of time and for how long? Also, even though he is shown to be alive, how is that going to drastically alter the story for our friends? He may stick around and have a minor role later, but he could very well die again depending on where the Destiny River is heading, and there’s likely very little he can do to somehow drastically change the story. Is he going to suddenly appear and sacrifice himself to make sure Aerith survives? Highly doubt it. See what I mean? Even if someone like him is left alive, he’ll either receive the same fate in a different way or just get a role that won’t change much of the main story. So, are Wedge and Jessie alive? Wedge, absolutely not. He was pushed down Shinra HQ Tower and there is no way he was able to survive a fall that high. There is no evidence that he “survived” after that fall as well. As for Jessie, we saw her gloves and headband on a dresser next to Biggs, but that’s it. Why would they place those next to him and not next to Jessie if she’s still alive and being taken care of? She was high atop the Sector 7 tower and it’s very unlikely anyone besides our team was able to run up and grab her on time. She was also in a worse state than Biggs and probably got crushed by the tower collapsing. In other words, she got crushed twice. Once when she set off her bomb and Cloud and Tifa bump into her; the second, when the plate dropped. What the glove and headband are, are likely nothing more than the remains of a friend who couldn’t make it. There may have been time for someone to pick up Biggs and that’s how he ended up in a bed, covered in bandages. As for more proof he’s the only one who survived? Wedge had 3 cats he held. Out of the three, only one named Biggums survived. The other 2 missing, I believe, are symbolism for the fate of the AVALANCHE trio. There you have it, three charming but minor characters who had written character arcs that got fleshed out in Remake, but don’t serve an extremely important purpose to the main plot points of the game (no offense to the trio, I do like Mr. Not-Charlie-Sheen and I wonder what they will do when the inevitable happens).

This is cool and all, but what about Sephiroth's line? "Seven Seconds till the end. Time enough for you, perhaps. But what will you do with it? Let's see." Also, this Sephiroth used more informal phrasing in the Japanese acript, such as "ore." He seems to be aware of what the future holds, too. So what do you make of this?

Ah yes, this moment, also one of the first pieces of script the writers thought of:

Well friend, I actually covered this topic before:

Seven Seconds Before the End: Theory vs. Context

While that post was made to debunk a theory, I believe what I wrote in it can easily be taken into the context of this post. That's one thing people constantly overlook about this line: it already has a given context. What do I mean by that? Check out the story log here:

In the world beyond, Sephiroth shows Cloud a vision of the planet seven seconds before its demise. Having strayed from the course destiny set for them, they strike out on a path toward an unknown future.

This is what Sephiroth was referring to: the end of the Planet. Unfortunately people are taking this line WAY out of context and using it to write theories that stray far away from the line's meaning in the first place. It's part of what Sephiroth is after, and it's part of what Cloud is fighting against. The team fought against the Arbiters of Fate because they believe what they saw was the end of everything for them without seeing the long-term outcome, while Sephiroth lured the team to fight against the Arbiters of Fate because he may have seen his failure, and believes that with the physical manifestation of the Whispers gone, he can continue his plan without any chance of failure. A part of the future, no matter what seems to happen, will involve making a decision seven seconds before the Planet's demise. What will cause the Planet's demise? Meteor. That is the main calamity we are trying to stop after defeating Sephiroth, and we need to defeat Safer Sephiroth and SOLDIER Sephiroth to make sure his will cannot block Holy from being summoned, as well as prevent Aerith from calling forth the Lifestream. So once again, this is from Sephiroth's rough understanding of the future, and it's a meta message for the players of what the ending of Remake might entail. It is NOT Sephiroth from the future suddenly sending his body/consciousness into the past in a really odd moment to give Cloud a warning.

Even with all this, the ending of Final Fantasy 7 Remake stated, "The Unknown Journey will continue." What do you have to say about this?

Yes, there is an unknown journey. This is a journey with new content to tie the rest of the Compilation together, like a possible story shuffle mentioned earlier. There's bound to be new and revised scenes in between the set beginning and end, hence "the unknown journey." I talked about this before, but for the developers to put something like "The same journeys from 2 decades ago will continue" is counter-intuitive to what they just showed us in the ending and would mess with all the anticipation for what's to come next. We have to think about this in a different perspective, and not the perspective of "oh, nothing is going to change." The developers need to keep people excited, and part of keeping that excitement is marketing a tease. It's pretty much how marketing works, too. A marketing scheme that only tells the literal facts without trying to juggle the consumer's emotions isn't going to interest the consumer that much compared to the marketing scheme that teases at the possibilities. As for the reason Yoshinori Kitase will then say that the team is continuing FF7R as FF7 has? He's in a different mindset during interviews like that. The game Final Fantasy 7 Remake is telling us things like a book, ending the events with a To Be Continued cliffhanger. Meanwhile, Kitase can state that FF7R will continue as FF7 because that's technically a vague statement. We know we'll get key locations and scenes, but we don't know how they'll get fleshed out. And we sure as heck don't know about any new scenes and how those are going to be executed in the next installments. In other words, think of a classic sandwich with a hipster rendition. The set beginning and end are the top and bottom buns, the protein is almost the same, maybe a couple spices added in there; and the unknown is all the new toppings added in your hipster-style classic sandwich. I know this is a strange analogy, but hopefully it gets the point across. So don't worry too much; Nojima, Nomura, and Kitase haven't shown us the new condiments yet!

Conclusion

If you're still here after reading through my wall of jargon, thank you! After all that I've written, I hope I was able to accomplish my goal: to ease your worries about the developers' plans with the story. And I hoped to do this by giving an in-universe explanation as to why certain things are happening. There is context to the Whispers' powers, and with the Whisper following a continuous flow of destiny, pieces of the future and past are scattered in that river. Sephiroth's been basking in this river for years now, so he got similar exposure as Aerith did and now has rough knowledge of what's to come. I think people who are clinging to time travel theories are taking the Whispers' powers out of context. We saw vague bits of the future; Aerith did, Sephiroth did, we did, and do you know who else? Cloud, Tifa, Barret, and Red XIII. Heavy exposure to the Whispers gives visions as a side effect. They're not travelling through time from the future to fix things when they've always existed as dead souls who returned to the Planet; they're continuously moving around Gaia and watching folks--especially key players in saving the Planet. The flow of a river doesn't stop, it keeps moving through its closed course. Maybe it can change its course in a slightly different direction, or get shafted into sharper curves to delay the flow, but it will still head to its final destination no matter what. While we are in the current of this new course, we'll stumble upon some untouched terrain before we get to the set ending.

However, even if we know about the inevitable, that isn't going to stop us from feeling intense pain for our heroes.

Thus the journey continues.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go sit my ass down and drink some god-damn tea.

Special Thanks

@otp-oasis-heavenxearth (Also known as @magicalchemist)

For taking the time to read my rough draft and pointing out the goofs, bringing in your theory ideas, as well as helping me solidify my confidence in Final Fantasy 7 Remake's future. Seriously, if you haven't, check out her blog. She's incredibly knowledgeable when it comes to FF7 and looks through every different perspective while sticking to the facts. In other words, straight up awesome!

@silver-wield

For allowing me to cite your post, as well as being the first person that made me faithful the developers are staying true to their word with their direction of FF7R. Seriously, thanks! If you haven't, check out her blog. Her attention to detail is incredible!

[instantelephantmix]

How weird cat books shaped my life: a personal Warriors essay

I think we all have something we got into at a young age and we're still a fan of today. Sometimes that thing is way, way more important than you even realise.

When I was a young child, I had pretty stereotypical interests - I liked doodling, watching cartoons, and reading books about animals. I always did like animals a lot, especially cats, I was always living with at least one cat while growing up. The first two I remember were Moët, he was fluffy and timid and ginger-and-white, and Hemingway, or more commonly called Hemmy as nobody wants to shout "Hemingway" up the street when they want their cat to come home.

Above: Hemmy looking dumb.

When I was around 7, I was taking a look around the children's section of my local library and saw something I'd noticed my older sister reading recently. Warrior Cats: Into the Wild. I just wanted it because I liked the cover and I liked cats, and my parents allowed me to take it despite it being rated 9+. I think that, if they'd been stricter, I might have been an entirely different person - who knows though? I just know that those Warriors books hugely impacted my interests and hobbies.

I started reading and god, I was obsessed. There was something about the culture and history of these fictional wild cats that was so intriguing to me, but still simple enough for my young mind to digest. Being a homeschool kid who hadn't fully accessed the internet yet, I had no friends at all, so my family had to look at all my terrible drawings of fighting cats and endure me talking about them.

Below: a bad drawing of Sol from long, long ago. He has a giraffe neck.

There was something I always wanted though: a Warriors TV show or a movie. Ten years later we still don't have that, despite all the talk of a movie being in production. Where the hell did that go? But luckily, fans of the books had started making their own adaptations. Enter the late 2000s and early 2010s, the time of SSS Warrior Cats - an animated Youtube series based on the first book. I asked my mum if I could watch it and she allowed me to, opening up the door to a whole new portion of the internet.

Gone were the days of playing Flash games on the Cbeebies website, I had youtube! This was a massive inspiration to me, I decided I wanted to be an animator. Obviously I wasn't as skilled as the SSS team, I still don't think I am - but I tried.

Above: a run cycle animation from around 2015. My older animations are all sadly lost to time, the program I made them on was discontinued so I have no way of opening my old files.

Below: a new run cycle, 2021.

But over time, each member of the SSS team quit, and the channel became a wasteland with the series left unfinished. What was I to watch? How would I satisfy my desire for edgy animated cats? That was when I found Dimstar's Past, a series based on Warriors OCs, which also inspired me a lot. I think the creator turned out to be homophobic, which is a massive shame - but "separate the art from the artist", as they say.

I'd now seen these OCs, and I'd seen my sister writing stories about characters she liked, so what if I were to create my own Warriors and tell their story? While I'd written a few short, low-quality stories in the past, as most kids do, I think Warriors fully inspired me to write. I created "Rootstar's Past", a complete and obvious rip-off of Dimstar - but the story still exists in my mind, albeit very altered since then. I never even finished the first version. As I learned and became a better storyteller, I created better characters and more thought-out stories. Eventually I moved on from cats and wrote about more "human" characters - a lot of the time they aren't actually human, but they act like it.

Above: Rootstar's 2013 design, and his 2020 redesign.

Warriors also got me into roleplay, through playing Roblox and exploring forums, which further developed my writing and "impulsive storytelling" skills. I really miss the old Warriors Roblox games, like Lake Territory - morphs and maps may be better these days, but they don't hold the same charm at all. (For those who don't play Roblox - a morph is an object that the player can take the appearance of, though a button or GUI, to create looks that wouldn't be possible with the regular avatar editor.)

Above: Forest Territory, an old Roblox game. Notice the very cylindrical morphs that I still love.

I remember how I met my first real friend through Warriors roleplay. She was older than me, I was only around 9 when she was 16, but we got on surprisingly well. Me and my sister have the same 7-year age gap, so I was used to it. We shared other interests too; Five Nights at Freddy's, Undertale, and later Harry Potter. Sadly she was banned from Roblox and I never saw her again. I hope she's okay, whatever she's doing nowadays. I fondly remember our extremely angst-ridden characters - poor Soul, she could never get a break.

I made so many memories in those games. Playing in "Fan Clans" with magical powers, laughing at newbies who'd never read the books (don't get me wrong, I wasn't a rude person, but I was badly influenced by those who were), making the most complex morphs possible, creating cat romances, making drama... I want something like that again, but unfortunately roleplays don't seem to have any heart to them these days. Or maybe I'm the one who's changed? I don't know for sure.

There's one more interest that Warriors brought to me, although it's a very childish one. I won't go into too much detail because of that, I don't think anyone will care that much, but it does belong in this post.

As well as animation, there was another thing I saw people making short films and series with - Littlest Pet Shop toys, those stylised animal figures that Hasbro makes. They're not everyone's cup of tea, but I have to admit I fell for them and ended up collecting them. With the cats I made several Warriors fanseries and posted them on my mum's youtube channel, where they remain to this day. They're all unlisted or privated though, and I don't plan to show them to anyone, they were genuinely terrible. Maybe if I'm very drunk one day, or I don't care about my reputation, or someone pays me for it.

Below: my Littlest Pet Shop cats.

These days, Warriors doesn't hold quite as much significance in my everyday life. It still means a lot to me though - I like learning about the new characters, making my own, and doing art and animation for the community. It was my first fandom, and still my most consistent. I imagine its importance to me will only decline over time as I grow up and find new interests, but who knows? Maybe it'll stay with me forever.

Warriors probably made me into a furry, at least indirectly. I can never forgive it for that.

So what else am I doing? What fandoms am I in? I like Doctor Who, vampires, and I'm studying Digital Media in college, if that's of any interest to anyone. I still play Roblox and collect LPS, and I animate (very slowly).

Oh, and it's my birthday. Happy birthday to me. I'm 17 now.

[reversemoon255]

Digimon Adventure: Last Evolution - Kizuna

I’ve been a fan of Digimon since I first watched it as a kid, but I’m also one of those weird fans where I’m more excited to see the series give us something new rather than treading old ground (I’m not very nostalgic in general), so I wasn’t actually that excited for Kizuna, especially after the terrible experience it was to sit through Tri. Still, the movie surprised me, and grabbed me a lot more than I though it would. I didn’t cry at the ending, but I did well up a bit. Still, this movie isn’t without its problems.

Rather than going over the goods and bads like I normally do, I’m actually going to go through this one chronologically, as I feel it’s the best way to tackle this film’s strengths and flaws. Sit back for a long one, folks.

Chapter 1 (Parrotmon and the First Adventure): We start out with the same intro music we got in the original Digimon Adventure movie. This first section is full of a lot of very purposeful callbacks, like Greymon VS Parrotmon and the recreated evolution sequences. This is the part of the movie where I think this works the best, grabbing people’s nostalgia right at the beginning, getting them to remember the good times with the Digimon before the drama starts. My only, very minor, nitpicky issue is that the Agumon to Greymon sequence is a bit choppier than the original, but it’s also not meant to play 30+ times over the course of two years, so it’s easily forgiven. Also, I’m gonna put PIN 1 in the aurora, because we’ll be coming back to that later.

The animation here is also fantastic (the few moments of off CG aside). It’s been a while since I’ve seen fight scenes this good, and this is probably the best they’ve ever been in Digimon. I also enjoy that Taichi and Yamato are immediately on good terms. So much of Tri was them arguing with each other, so seeing them as friends is nice.

Chapter 2 (The New Normal): Something I didn’t notice the first time, but did on a repeat watch was Sora’s Digivice with its timer ticking down in the opening credits. I’m not a fan of how little Sora was in this movie, especially considering her reinterpretation in the reboot hasn’t been that strong, but I do think the route they went with her was fitting for her character.

Seeing Taichi and Yamato in a rut while everyone else is pursuing their dreams is well done. I definitely feel like I’ve been there before in one form or another, and it’s easy to empathize with. Also, seeing the two of them drinking is so surreal. And them talking about how they have a hard time fitting their Digimon into their lives, only to almost immediately have the idea of losing on them thrust upon them hits very hard on the first watch.

Menoa’s voice... As a native English speaker, hearing people who are supposed to be American in anime only to spout obviously line-read Katakana is always a little vexing to me. I definitely weigh it a bit based on the budget of the show I’m watching, but this is a very big budget movie and they could have gotten a better trainer at the very least to go over the lines with her. Her character is well done, though. I thought she was certainly suspicious my first watch, but on a rewatch I caught more hints, such as her reaction after Izumi mentioned his database.

Chapter 3 (It’s in the Internet): This is where I started falling off a bit. Let me know if this sounds familiar, “Taichi, Izumi, Yamato, and Takeru must battle a Digimon inside the internet. Just as they seem to have the upper hand, it evolves and the children must rely on Omegamon to defeat it.” This particular part of the movie is recycled from Children’s War Game. Even Eosmon darting around the arena with a timer going, being difficult to hit and having to be forced to slow down is reminiscent of how Diablomon was defeated. This really took me out of the film, and it kind of gets worse, but we’ll get there.

Maybe this is me, but I can’t help but feel the whales during Omegamon’s evolution are a callback to Summer Wars >_> I do like the new version of his sword with the flared guard.

Chapter 4 (Some Old Yet Newer Friends): I don’t agree with Menoa’s explanation for why Digimon disappear, but my evidence as to why hasn’t appeared yet, so we’ll put PIN 2 in that. Menoa’s assistant on the other hand was a decent red herring. I wasn’t sure which of them it actually was until the full reveal.

I can’t properly express how excited I was to see Miyoko and Hawkmon after Tri. The 02 crew got so shafted that seeing them here and how involved they were in the plot had me legit excited. There’s actually a ton of 02 love in this movie in the background that I was very appreciative of. That brings me to another point, though, that this movie feels very responsive to Tri. The heavy inclusion of the 02 cast over many of the other original Adventure members, the number of cameos from the final episodes of 02, and a very certain plot point that we’ll stick PIN 3 in for now all point to this. Heck, it was even revealed to be in production near the end of Tri, which was supposed to be the series finalé, except people didn’t like Tri so they apparently didn’t want the series to go out on a sour note (though not a bitter-sweet one).

Chapter 5 (People Change): Can we talk about how Agumon finds Taichi’s stash? It’s a little too real, man. But this scene also brings up the point that the Digimon haven’t really changed since 1999, yet the children have significantly. The Digimon change their appearance and the humans change on the inside. It’s also a little weird how the Digimon aren’t that beat up about saying goodbye. I mean, they don’t want to, but they aren’t crying their eyes out. But we’ll talk about that more when we actually pull out PIN 2.

Also, seeing Sora at the end of this chapter, knowing what’s happening to her is really sad on the second watch.

As a little bonus, I was questioning the Digivice Smart Phones until Taichi turned his off and Izumi’s name popped up. Good show-don’t-tell. That scene also has some great lighting...

Chapter 6 (Better than Himekawa Maki): You definitely feel bad for Menoa. Her story is very (and probably purposefully) similar to that of Himekawa Maki’s from Tri, but in this case we feel more for her because she went through what our leads are going through right now. Her plan makes sense to her because of her tauma. And as we’re talking about the similarities to Tri, I’m going to pull PIN 3 and mention that Taichi and Yamato are going through the same thing that Meiko did. It’s strange that they’re recycling the Tri plot for this, but it works so much better here because our connections to these characters, that we’ve known for years, are so much stronger than those of the new ones introduced in Tri. And it’s 1/10th of the run time, too. It’s almost like Tri was terrible or something O_O

Chapter 7 (Touching Down like a Revenging Hurricane): So now we’re on to a Digimon trapping Chosen Children and reverting them back to children all for the sake of one Chosen Child who has aged up. Man, that sounds familiar. It’s almost as if this plot point was taken from another movie or something...

Look, I wouldn’t harp on it so much if every Adventure + 02 Digimon movie didn’t have plot elements recycled for this film. The beginning was Adventure, the first battle with Eosmon was War Game, Tri is sprinkled throughout, we’re currently on Touchdown, and everything from here up to the final is Revenge of Diablomon. Don’t get me wrong, this was probably on purpose, and they are well integrated, but it pulls me out of the movie super hard. As I’m writing this, I’m on the scene with the 100 Eosmon reveal, just like all the Kuramon. They also do the thing all the Kuramon do where they combine together and defeat Omegamon (by removing his arms, weirdly), only to have two Digimon achieve a new evolution to defeat it.

That being said though, it is, again, handled very well. The damage you see done to Omegamon in these scenes is heartbreaking, and you can certainly feel the weight of the situation.

I also want to pull PIN 1 here, because they bring up the aurora again. There’s never actually an explanation for it, is there? It just shows up one day. It helped Menoa make Eosmon, it drove Parrotmon and apparently other Digimon crazy, but where it came from and why it’s here is never actually explained. I feel like this is bait in case they’re ever at the point where they need another big nostalgia push again and a plot for another movie. But I also don’t want to see that. After Reboot wraps (even though I like it) I’d like to see a new cast, Digimon, and story please.

I also don’t believe a word of anything Menoa says in these scenes, but she does a very good job of pushing Taichi and Yamato’s buttons. I also want to point out, it’s Greymon that isn’t phased by all this and goes on the attack when they’re doubting themselves.

Chapter 8 (An Unreliable Narrator): Time to pull PIN 2.

This is the reason why I don’t believe Menoa. This scene. Menoa kept going on about children losing their infinite possibilities and being unable to supply their Digimon with power, but the Digimon we see going through this situation don’t reflect that. Evolution is a two-way street. We help the Digimon evolve, but in turn they help us evolve, and it is when we reach the pinnacle of our evolution, when the job of the Digimon is done that they disappear. Menoa sped through her evolution because she wanted to become an adult, and when she finally achieved the dream she had set for herself is when Morphomon disappeared, but she’s so traumatized by her disappearance that her views on the situation are negative. This has to be a bad thing, there can’t be a positive reason why the Digimon would disappear. But Agumon and Gabumon are happy. Happy that they could see the great people that Taichi and Yamato turned out to be.

Gotta say, the CG fight with Omegamon and Eosmon (Perfect) isn’t as great as the previous ones. Definitely gets better when we get to Eosmon (Ultimate). This is also a scene where they very easily show the stakes by having Taichi and Yamato getting injured, which we don’t see a lot of, not to mention Omegamon getting sliced up as I said previously.

Also, how many kids got stuck with Numemon as a partner?

Chapter 9 (We’re All Together): I hate that whistle. Every time I hear it in Adventure I start crying. And seeing Sora without Piyomon in these scenes is also heart wrenching on a repeat. I enjoy the others getting involved in the Eosmon fight, but I would have liked it if all the Chosen Children who were captured helped out (though I understand the nightmare that would be aging up all those 02 designs). Overall, just some good, back-to-back emotional moments.

Agumon Bond of Courage and Gabumon Bond of Friendship are decent designs. They definitely feel more newer Digimon than anything that would have appeared in the first season, but that’s ok. It took me a while to get used to Agumon’s new face (it’s kinda weird how human they get; makes me feel like wanted this to be a Bio-Merge). Though brief, their appearance is also beautifully animated.

Seeing Menoa lose Morphomon is also pretty emotional. Actually, this whole ending sequence (y’know, the part of the movie that’s the most itself rather than rehashing old material) is very good, and it’s constant heart-tugs one after another.

Chapter 10 (Goodbye for Now): As I said, there’s a lot of tug-at-your-heartstrings moments throughout the film (especially the ending), but this is the biggest one. This is the one that almost got me. I’m choked up a bit even writing this. It doesn’t help that they end it with a non-movie, realistic cry. But as Gennai said, as long as you have infinite possibilities...

This movie does feel like it embraces the epilogue from 02, and in that epilogue everyone has their Digimon again. And when’s the moment in your life when your life becomes chaotic and hectic and full of infinite possibilities again? The unifying thing everyone in the epilogue has? Kids.

I know that sounds weird, but it makes sense. I can totally imagine Taichi sitting on the couch, and his wife walks in and tells him she’s pregnant, and there’s this stunned silence for a moment, then Agumon pops out from under the cushions and says “How did that happen!?” I’m sure there are other ways it could happen, but that’s the most comedic and “Toei pushing having kids to help with the Japanese population crisis” way I can think of doing it.

I’ll also give special mention to the credits, where they go out of their way to show the 02 Crew with their Digimon, but the main cast without. But, again, we know they get them back. And hopefully they don’t make that movie anytime soon, because I’m sick of Adventure. I’d like new things, please!

Overall, this is a good movie, but it is, to me, heavily hampered by the fact that it is too nostalgic. The animation and writing is fantastic, but that writing is built on the back of elements from the previous movies. If you haven’t watched all those movies multiple times like I have, you’ll probably enjoy it a lot more than I did (and I enjoyed it a lot, still), but be aware. Next time we talk Digi-Shop will probably be about Reboot.

Unless I manage to get my hands on the rest of the Xros Wars toys. (Where are you, MailBirdramon!)

[compassion-in-perspective]

Significance of Representation

Let me ask you this; if you identify as cis, heterosexual or Caucasian, have you had to worry about if your alone in the world because of the fact that you’ve never seen yourself represented in real life, or in the media? Realistically your answer should be no. If your answer was yes, well I got news for you, you better start digging deep into yourself because your gunna have some issues to figure out! That or you’re totally oblivious to the world around you! Wake up people!

In my opinion, there’s a huge misconception to representation, and understanding its importance. And the scary part is, is that the significance of it affects everyone. Yes, even those of you in majorities of cis, straight or white populations, it’s still important. From my perspective, representation has 3 elements of importance that play into it: community, acceptance, and most importantly education. Those 3 things are what is going to be explored in the next couple of paragraphs.

When representation is executed properly in mainstream media, it will give that feeling of community and acceptance to the individual that may be asking themselves “Am I different from everyone else..?” But is too afraid to explore that question out loud because god forbid you come off to other people as being “weird” or “different.” True representation makes you realize that it’s okay to feel like you can be different if that’s how you want feel!

The first time I truly felt represented in media was in a kid’s movie I watched this year, in 2021, at the age of 24. And this story is coming from someone that didn’t know they were gay, had a disability and was a different gender until they were 18 because they never saw any of the representation I needed growing up. Anyway, the movie I had watched was The Mitchell’s Vs. The Machines on Netflix. For those of you who haven’t heard of this movie, it’s a fun movie that shows all the crazy aspects of 2009 meme culture, with beautiful animation stylings from Sony. The story is about a dysfunctional family of 4 that has to save the world from a robot apocalypse while trying to salvage the relationships within they’re family. However, the main character of the movie is a AFAB (assigned female at birth) queer, and a neurodivergent person. As someone who also identifies with being; AFAB, queer and neurodivergent, let’s just say I got 5 minutes into the movie before my 7-year-old inner child cried because of the fact that I’ve never been able to relate to something so hard in my life!

I’m sure for someone reading this that identities with the top majorities of sexuality, gender and race, it’s hard for you to understand the significance of those emotions that I experienced in that moment. But let’s try putting this into perspective! I can’t tell you how good it feels to finally feel like you're seen when the world around you is constantly saying, “You don’t deserve to live the same as everyone else because you're different.” I hear statements like this everywhere in the news, and media. I pretend those types of statements don’t hurt because I tend to come off as confident and sure of myself because I’m not afraid to live authentically and outside of the typical “normal” standards. But those types of statements still linger in the back of my mind that’s for sure. Those feelings I experienced are why we need more representation because of the previous questions of “hey am I aloud to be different?” And those questions should be valid, and normalized because really everyone should explore them! Because who wants to be the same as everyone else? Am I right? But overall, the importance in representation for the aspects of feeling like you’ve finally found a sense of community and being accepted, everyone should have that experience, even if you are considered different. It's only human to want to be accepted, heard and seen. Don’t we all just want to feel like that?

Lastly, the other important component to representation in my view, is the education part. This is the section that I think has an effect on all populations, marginalized or not. Obviously, education means, the act of learning. Being taught through the lens of representation is significant in the importance of celebrating others in moments of adiversity. This is particularly true when we’re currently living through a time period that is full of fiction over fact, and just pure hatred and divide. For example, Newfoundland and Labrador is a place that could benefit from more education through the simple route of representation and its role. Its no secret there’s lots of Newfoundlanders and Labradorians out there that are visibly homophobic, or racist. (and if you just got butterflies in your stomach reading that sentence, then yes I’m especially talking to you) Really, has anyone ever dug into the question of “How can some Newfoundlanders and Labradorians be so homophobic or racist, even though Newfoundland and Labrador has such a welcoming culture?” From my perspective, it seems to be a partial lack of representation. Especially in more rural towns of NL, outside of the St John’s metro area. As a general human being, how are you supposed to accept something that is different when you’ve either been taught to be prejudice towards that particular difference, or have no knowledge or education on the manner? Most people are afraid of the ocean for the same reasons, fear of the unknown. Hence why I think education and learning is an important attribute to why more people need to take the time to understand the importance of representation and why it’s needed now more than ever.

To summarize, I gave you guys my 3 reason on why I think representation is so important and needed. The first and second reason were, a sense of community and acceptance for the people that do feel like they are different and need to know that it’s okay to feel like that. And the third, the importance of learning behind those ideals of representation for those of you who probably don’t think it matters. A lot of Us need to realize that, us as human need that kind of exposure so we may choose to live loving and compassionate lives, and not just towards people we like and respect, but towards the people that are different from who you are! To show respect, even in moments you might find it hard to! To end off, if you thought this entry from me was controversial, well it was supposed to be. Controversy and conflict aren’t something that is bad, or to be afraid of. Those 2 circumstances are a place you can grow and learn from. And I hope this overall written piece has helped you as the reader start to move in the direction of growing and learning because I was able to put a topic that needs more compassion, into a simpler perspective.

[zippityzap]

My Top Ten Favourite Moments in Sonic Games

The past 30 years the Sonic series has had a lot of memorable moments, too many to list fully, so in celebration of my recent follower milestone, today I’ll be presenting and explaining my personal top ten favourite moments. I would like to emphasise that this list is very subject and is highly influenced by my personal experiences with the Sonic series. It’s not intended to be objective by any means, and I would love to hear what moments you guys would put on your own lists! Additionally, this list is only for things from the games, in the future I’ll make another list for other Sonic media

Without further ado, let’s get started!

10) City Escape’s GUN truck

Interesting set pieces and small scripted moments in levels have been a staple in the Sonic series since the beginning. Sure, they’re not always challenging from a game-play standpoint, but they’re always an entertaining spectacle. One of the most ionic of these moments (and one of my personal favourites) is being chased by the GUN truck. City Escape is already a highly memorable level from the get-go, but the truck sequence is the cherry on top. An additional shout-out to both of the Generations versions of the level for not only bringing it back but changing it up just enough to surprise you and keep you on your toes!

9) Escaping Null Space

Forces is one of those games that I would describe as a truly mixed bag. Yeah, there are a lot of things about the game that kinda sucked or were disappointing, but when it hit a high, BOY did it hit. While I agree with many people that having the Null Space portion of this level actually have gameplay in it would’ve made this moment impact a little harder, I’m just in love with that transition from the silence of null space to the bombastic chorus of Fist Bump. I thought it was a really exciting moment that hypes you up for the rest of the level.

8) Sonic Heroes’ opening cinematic

Heroes was my first 3D Sonic game, and consequently it was my introduction to a lot of things that are staples for the Sonic series. Vocal themes, an extended cast and their interpersonal relationships, story routes that connect to each other. These are some of my favourite things about the Sonic series, so even if some aspects of the game aren’t that great, I could never ever hate or even dislike Heroes. I feel like the opening cinematic to Heroes (the one with the theme song as the music) is the aspect of Heroes that really encapsulates those feelings best. I must’ve spent hours as a kid letting it play over and over again singing along to it.

7) Shadow the Hedgehog (2004) title screen cinematic

Before you laugh, here is where I must remind you that this list is extremely subjective and highly influenced by my personal experiences and memories. Ok now imagine this: you are a 7-8 year old kid, and your experience with media that isn’t mainstream radio or educational children’s tv shows is fairly limited. You’re getting deep into the Sonic series for the first time thanks to playing Heroes and seeing some of the cartoons and you’re interested to know more about the series. You visit Sonic Central, the official site at the time, and they have a music player with a variety of songs from the games. One of the songs it plays is I Am (All of Me). I won’t lie, I was a little blown away because I’d never really heard anything like it before, so I go to find out more about the game it’s from and I come across that opening cinematic.

I think it’s very, very, easy as an adult to laugh at the Shadow the Hedgehog game and it’s… direction, but adult me was not the target audience of that game, kid me was. Say what you want but the effect that game was going for I think is something that just hits best with sheltered little kids, and I’d be curious if anyone else had a similar experience.

6) The ending of Sonic and the Black Knight

I won’t go into too much detail on this one, since this is very much a fan favourite moment and many others have gone into detail about why it’s so great. Black Knight is certainly one of the games that captures Sonic’s character the best, and his words at the end of the game certainly encapsulate this. Followed by the amazing credits theme of Live Life, the ending of Black Knight is certainly one of the most emotional moments in the series.

5) Sonic Generation’s credits

Anniversary games can be a bit of a controversial subject for the Sonic fandom; 06 was one of the games released for the 15th anniversary while Forces is often considered to be a 25th anniversary game. I think Generations really achieved the feeling and the specialness of a celebratory event though. It’s one of my favourite Sonic games and the whole game is full of brilliant moments but I feel the credits really evoke the celebration vibe: a Sonic 1-esque music melody as the credits song, showing footage from the original games each stage is from, and the cherry on top: a ‘Happy Birthday’ message to Sonic recorded from fans who attended the 2011 Sonic Boom and Summer of Sonic conventions. It genuinely warms my heart every time I finish the game.

4) Metropolis Capital City level

Forces gets another representation on this list! Honestly, I believe the parts of Forces that were exciting, such as this, really demonstrate my opinion that Forces had a lot of potential to be a really good game. But I digress, this was my favourite level from Forces because it shows how fun of a villain Infinite could be. The way that Infinite follows you for most of the stage and uses illusions to fuck around with the stage itself? That’s really fun, and it’s not just stage gimmicks for the sake of having a gimmick, it ties into the powers of the villain and makes the player feel involved in a way because Infinite is messing around with you specifically and is having to make to think on your toes. Granted, part of makes this stage stand out so much in a good way is because it’s so different from the rest of the game and it takes you by surprise, so maybe the impact wouldn’t be as hard hitting if this sort of design was used more in the game, but c’mon when you have a villain who’s powers are illusion-based, the sky’s the limit!

3) Sonic Unleashed’s opening cutscene

Can you believe this game came out over a decade ago and the opening cutscene still looks this stunning?! Depending on who you ask, some might even argue that this cutscene has yet to be topped, and honestly, I’m in that camp. Not only is the rendering beautiful and the choreography of the action exciting, but this scene does a wonderful job of setting up for the viewer regardless of how much prior experience they have with the series who Sonic and Dr. Eggman are, as well as setting up the events of the game. I recall being very happy when I heard the animation team for this cutscene would also be handling the animation for the movie.

2) Beating Sonic Unleashed for the first time

So, this is another pretty personal one. I played Unleashed for the first time a few years ago and it is in my opinion, one of the most difficult Sonic games. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes for completely bullshit reasons. My first ever run of Eggmanland was around 40 minutes long and apparently that’s considered a pretty decent time for your first go, but christ it was a nightmare to finish (looking at you, that one section where you have to platform on pipes without a drop-shadow). The following boss sections weren’t much easier- I don’t rage much with video games, I tend to whisper swears under my breath at most but that part where you’re running on the Gaia Colossus had me screaming in anger every time I lost a life.

BUT when I finally beat the difficult sections? Felt like finally cracking your back after feeling stiff all day. Like taking the first sip of water after a walk on a hot day. The relief and satisfaction I felt was indescribable and slowly winding down while Dear My Friend plays as the credits theme was blissful. I don’t play difficult games that often so Unleashed is one of very few games that I have this sort of memory with.

1) Watching my dad get the good ending of Sonic 1

Here’s a small amount of backstory for this pick. My dad got his first job at 19 and he used his first pay-check to purchase the then newly released Sega Mega Drive. He had a lot of games for the console including Sonic the Hedgehog. He kept the console and games in good condition, and they were still perfectly playable by the time his first child was born (aka me!). Sonic 1 was the first video game I can remember playing at roughly 2-3 years old. I wasn’t good enough to get past Green Hill Act 3 but I loved watching my dad play through the game.

I’ll admit; his playstyle’s a little odd, he avoids speed when he can and instead, he likes to search for as many rings and extra lives as possible, but it was so enjoyable to watch nonetheless. The best bit was whenever he would manage to get all the chaos emeralds in a playthrough and be able to get the good ending. Sure, the only difference between the good and bad endings is just some flowers, but it was nice to see him be happy that he was able to achieve that ending.

And that’s the end of my list! Upon looking over it I realise most of it is either openings or endings to games…oops. I suppose they tend to be parts of games that get special attention during development since they bookend the journey. When I get around to making the second list, I’m sure it’ll have more variety, and as I said before, I’d be very interested in hearing what everyone else’s favourite moments are!

[musedblues]

Born To Love You [Part: 7]

summary: When Gwilym ropes you into a lie, the truth becomes painfully obvious. When Joe makes things harder, there’s no telling if he even has a clue

a/n: I can't really believe I've finally finished this. If only you all knew how long this story sat in my drafts before I even considered sharing it. I'm eternally gratful to those of you who’ve stuck around and shared your thoughts and shown me and this fic such sweet love. I can only hope I've done some kind off justice in bringing this wild ride to a close. As always, and especially now,  I really can't wait to hear what you lot think. So here you have it.... The End! 💖

w/c: 4k

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Even after all this time, not a moment passed that didn't dazzle you. No little gesture slipped by unnoticed, or underappreciated.

From across the room, you adored the way his eyes glowed as he laughed. How they shined and crinkled in a pattern you'd memorized long before you were brave enough to stare. How they always sparkled just so when he spun into a fit of giggles, a sound you couldn't help but turn toward.

Joe tossed his head back, letting out a hearty chuckle as James and Andy filled him in on the details of their recently disastrous road trip. For their anniversary, they planned to cruise around the countryside for a week. But a flat tire, and a run in with a couple wild animals sent them running back to London before the week was up.

You couldn't have gotten luckier, when you found the perfect house in the safest part of the city with the best schools; just a half an hour drive from where James and Andy had moved a couple years before- after living with you for longer than you could recall in a flash.

They helped you move boxes from your old flat, and stood with you in the empty place, taking a  silent beat to say goodbye to all the life you each lived there. You'd fondly remember the parties, and even the tears. The day you found out about Olive. The room you brought her home to. The place you loved. But it was never the same after your dear flatmates found a home of their own.

On their generous drives to help you unload boxes in an all new place, that's when your pair of best pals really got to know Joe. They (like everyone else) laughed at most of his jokes, and beamed when he laughed at theirs in turn. When they weren't helping you unload boxes, they were off cackling with Joe, too awestruck by shared conversation to help you move your sofa into a reasonable spot.

And when you and your man with fossil colored eyes were settled, James and Andy still managed to stop by for plenty of surprise breakfast visits. And every time they stopped over, they each took turns insisting that their location was the sole purpose you'd been so keen to move to this part of the city. And while they might have been half right, you'd never let on that it was one of the many reasons.

London just made sense. It was closer to Gwil's new place. He'd been traveling to and from the city for work so often that he'd felt like his usual train car was more of his home than the one down the road from your old flat. So he found a cozy space just outside of London and loads more work within the first few days of settling in. When he wasn't busy on set, or away for an audition, he was just a few streets away- ready and willing to come and take Olive on days he hadn't planned to, at her beck and call.

Some days you missed when all Olive knew how to say were a handful of words. But you knew you'd soon miss all of the girls never ending questions, too. "Why can't cats talk?" "Where do all the badgers sleep at night?" "Why do I have to wear socks with my shoes?" She had a knack for asking the silliest questions when you least expected it. She'd come out of no place while you were busy making dinner. While she should have been practicing tying her shoes. In the dead of the night, at the edge of your bed. She'd stop everything just to ask a question or two, and some days you reckoned she fancied getting you to giggle more than hearing an actual answer. You always chuckled before you could muster the brain power to give any semblances of an educated response. And when you were too busy, getting ready for work, or hurrying about the market before it closed, Olive would ask Joe.

You loved the way Olive made him laugh then, too. Just like you. But before ever giving a reasonable answer, he'd always ask her the same questions back. "Well, what do you think is at the bottom of the ocean?"

And as she decidedly rambled about imaginary creatures and cities, Joe would listen. He'd even remember the names of some of those made up monsters long after Olive had moved through several more memorable questions. You couldn't believe how patient he was. It was astounding to you, the way Joe dropped everything to bend at Olive's will, as she wrapped her fist around his wrist and yanked him across a bookstore toward the children's section.

You'd find them after getting what you strolled in for, and join in for story time, before checking your watch and ruining all the fun. Joe was usually more disappointed for those moments to end than the kid who was hooked on his every fictional word.

You loved Joe's heart. How you could tell when it was in the right place. When he offered help and advice and suggestions to anyone who trusted him enough to pour their heart out to his open ear. How he at least pretended to be excited when your friends begged the two of you to join in a night out at the end of a particularly busy week. Neither of you were keen on letting them down, because you'd come to value those rare nights out with the people you loved. You'd made a sacred, personal decreed to never let your friends forget how vastly you'd cared for them. So you were right behind Joe each time another offer came to sit among your pals and listen to their lame jokes and drunken singing.

But it was no secret that nights in were your favorite. You might have marveled even more so, over Joe's heart, then. You relished how it hammered under your palm, as his pulse raced from your touch. You loved the sound of its steady beat under your ear, as you rested against his chest till morning. He'd run a lazy set of fingers through your hair while the quiet of the new day threatened to lull you to sleep again. Then he'd say something so ridiculously hilarious that you'd laugh your drowse away.

You never took for granted Joe's countless attempts to get you to smile, despite yourself. In the middle of movies, at the end of long hard days- and during times you wondered how much stress you could endure before your head exploded and your dramatic expiration ruined the upcoming holidays.

When you and Gwilym argued over Olive's imminent school year and how many summer holiday trips were one too many, Joe waited for the bickering to end. Then he'd say something that made stupidly perfect sense. He'd make you and Gwil  apologize to each other, and you did with all the grace of two grumpy toddlers. Then you'd all go to some posh brunch place and try and enjoy the last of the perfect summer weather that crept into the first few weeks of London's picturesque autumn.

Olive would stop eating to ask one of her latest queries to the sweet elder waitress who dropped off another round of drinks. You'd all take turns giving the kid answers, and steal bits of the chips she'd left over. When your meal was finished, Joe and Gwil went off to see a game together, and you were left with your darling girl for a whole glorious day.

Times with just the two of you weren't very rare. When you could, you made sure to take afternoons off work and save the laundry for later to spend a day with Olive. Of course, some were just as difficult as ever. But between odd growing pains and missed nap times, were icecream dates and trips to the aquarium. The latter, a place she always begged to spend hours strolling through. So when you could, you'd be quick to take her.

And when Gwilym took Olive along to visit his mother's family in Wales, you'd gotten used to the tiny wave of melancholy that came when your girl wasn't attached to your hip. But unlike all the other times before, you weren't nearly as lonely.

When it was just you and Joe, and a handful of days to waste however you pleased, you had to stop yourself from wondering how you'd gotten so lucky. You knew if you thought too long, you'd start to feel bad about how everything came to be. But you learned to let go of the regret attached to the mess you'd made during your first month long visit to London. You realized that it was silly to wish for a redo. Because everything worked out anyway, didn't it?

Joe was always quick to remind you how lucky he felt, too. Sometimes he'd say so, when he worried about the future and stopped rambling long enough to let you promise everything was going to be okay. Or first thing in the morning, when you got to wake up with the sun instead of a blaring alarm. But most of the time, he showed it. He'd leave silly little notes for you to find while you brushed your teeth. He'd bring your knuckles to his lips while waiting in the queue at the market. He'd take photos of you walking through the park and pointing to a pair of birds flying close overhead. He'd upload them in the middle of the night- when he said he was staying up to finish writing a script, or memorizing lines of another.

You'd get the notification and smile to yourself while you pretended to be asleep in the other room. When it was just you and Joe, it felt too good to be true. But that feeling didn't go away when your time alone was over.

Ben asked you to fetch him from the airport after he'd spent months away filming in another country. You and Joe fought over who got to hug him first, but when the blonde materialized from baggage claim, his arms were too stuffed with packages to dream of embracing either of you. He'd collected far too many presents during his time away- all of them for Olive. You scolded him, reminding Ben of the article you read about how kids with fewer toys grew to become more creative and resourceful. Ben argued that since you weren't going to spoil her that he was just going to have to. He'd leave the dozen gifts in the back of your car, and drag you and Joe out to a pub until you could hardly keep your eyes open.

Life felt too good to be true on nights like then, too.

And the feeling remained when Lucy and Rami got back from acting their hearts out in America. They stole Olive away as you and Joe ambled behind them on trips through high end shopping centres. When that day turned to night, your remarkable friends settled onto your sofa to tell all the stories they'd been saving up. Then they crashed there, when the night turned to morning and the sun threatened to rise before you'd stopped giggling long enough to sleep.

Those times were cherished. When your friends came around. When you went out of your way to go and see them, because it had been too long. You knew you were lucky to have mantiatiend a handful of connections with some of the most adoring and admirable friends that must have ever existed.

And on some especially rare, but guaranteed occasions, everyone got together.

The thought of joining forces was usually a never ending sentiment exchanged through the group chat that kept you all in touch. But it was Lucy's eventual doing, of course. She went about renting that darling little cottage in the countryside- the one she'd found last minute for Joe's birthday.

She got there before everyone, before Rami, even. The paint was a little more chipped, and the trees seemed even more mighty, guarding the home nestled miles away from the nearest town.

"You're just in time!" Lucy squealed as you lugged a bag into the house that hadn't changed a bit since your stay a few years back. You snorted a laugh as you stepped closer to the den full of mismatched furniture.

"For what?" You wondered. No one else had shown up yet, the night was very young.

"To keep me company, duh." Lucy shrugged as she moved to wave out of the open front door.

"Does bigfoot live out here?" Olive asked, as she skipped inside, her beloved worn down stuffed penguin tight in her clutch.

"He might." You chuckled. Because hell, you'd come to believe anything was possible at this point. And you didn't realize Olive even knew about the mythical creature, but you had a hunch about who'd been the one to tell her.

"I can't believe this place is still standing. It's charming as ever." Joe marveled, shutting the door behind him. Lucy beamed, turning to glance around.

"Yes! Remember last time?" Lucy asked, like she really wanted to know. Like it wasn't something the lot of you thought back to often. And right when you considered responding, she spoke up again. "Well forget it because this time is going to be the best ever."

The bubbly blonde recruited Joe to help her finish unloading all the treats she'd brought along to store away for the entire weekend you planned to stay. Olive trotted ahead of you toward one of the dozen tiny rooms you remembered struggling to sleep in last time, finding no reason to bite back your smile now.

It was too cold to think of going out back to enjoy the chest full of sporting goods, or the tattered net that somehow still remained. Olive was already complaining about the chill, so you abandoned your bags and tossed her a sweater, deciding to start a fire in the stone place while you awaited everyone else.

Ben was the next to arrive, bringing his usual ton of liquor and a brand new set of books and crayons to keep Olive entertained. You flashed a middle finger his way when the kid wasn't looking, and called dibs on his most expensive bottle of booze he brought to decorate the counter tops much like the time before.

By then the kitchen had been stocked, and Lucy was on a new mission to make some Pinterest worthy snacks. You scolded Ben for encouraging Olive to dance around the countertops and banished them to find some new trouble to cause. Lucy kicked you and Joe out soon after, following close behind with her plate of savory treats.

Rami dashed in from the cold around then, chucking his bags away and rushing to join the rest of you in record time. The fire you'd maintained was starting to die, and the home was too perfectly warmed to dream of starting up another, for a while. So as the evening shifted, you and Ben offered to clean up and carry everyone's rubbish away, while Joe offered to pour everyone a drink. While you went about your duties, Olive was busy yanking on the strings of Rami's hooding, begging him to join in some imaginary game the two of them made up long ago.

"I'm really glad she's joined us this time around." Ben grinned, catching a glimpse of Olive, her curls peeking around the corner, her laughter floating from one room to another. You agreed with the sentiment as you tossed your collection of rubbish in the bin. And as he followed suit, Ben rambled about his high hopes to have a couple of children of his own one day. It was something you'd always suspected Ben was keen on, but a subject he'd only just ventured into discussing lately.

"You ever think about having anymore?" He wondered in passing.

"Sometimes." You smiled to Ben, offering an innocent shrug, before catching Joe's eye from across the kitchen. He balanced a trio of glasses of wine on his way out, shaking his head of coppery hair. He shot you a look you knew well, an eager grin below a set of fiery eyes. "Sometimes" was an understatment. But Ben didn't need to know everything.

By the time Gwil showed up, Olive was on cloud nine. She ran to attach herself to his ankle, so you took his bags while he bent to scoop her up. Then, you reckoned, that this might have been the first time everyone was together that Olive might be able to recall for years to come.

She bounced from one person to another, showing off nicely colored pictures in the books Ben had brought along. He shot you a wink from across the room before she fell asleep with a dozen sunset toned crayons in one fist. You gathered her from the floor and carried the girl to the room you'd chosen hours earlier.

And before you'd even finished tucking the kid away in bed, another set of feet creaked into the room behind you.

"Here's this. And some things she forgot last time." Gwilym extended Olives favorite stuffed penguin in one hand as he rested a bag decorated in cartoon drawn bats on the chair in the corner. Your tradition of trading the girls things might never end. You'd be rattled if it did, actually.

"Oh, thank God. I mean, I know I asked you not to forget that, but I'd forgotten." You chuckled in a whisper, tucking Olive's ratty old penguin beneath the covers at her side.

Gwilym chuckled too, saying something about how he'd nearly left her bag behind on his rush to get here before nightfall. And then a silence fell, as you both waited a beat to make sure Olive was out cold. It was second nature, something the pair of you became accustomed to after the first year, when leaving Olive alone for a minute was usually followed with unhappy, ear piercing cries. And as you thought back to then, you seemed to think back to everything all at once.

"Lucy said that last time we stayed here won't be worth remembering, because this time will surely be the best." You said with a lithe grin. "And I think she may be right, but last time wasn't so bad."

"It wasn't?" Gwilym turned to you with a quizzically raised brow, a hint of a smile on his lips. You knew he was asking if you were sure. If you remembered correctly. How he'd said things he didn't mean, last time you were here. How you hardly slept that night. How it haunted you for days afterward. How he knew that.

"It wasn't." You kept your smile, sure. It could have been much worse. You could have been alone through all of that shit. But you weren't. You had Gwilym. And you hoped he knew what you meant, now. How grateful you were for him, and the kindness he'd show you, how it still remained. You couldn't go on worrying that his company might fizzle away in the years to come. Because it couldn't. You wouldn't let that possibility come to pass. So you bumped your shoulder against his arm and nudged Gwilym to leave the room.

"Let's go have some fun." You whispered. Gwilym let his smile linger as he studdied you for a beat. Then he nodded, and led the way back to everyone else.

The coloring books had moved to rest on the mantel, and bottles of alcohol had moved to the coffee table for easier access. And then you all took turns cleaning up for the evening and flipping through stations on the telly till some classic film flashed across the muted screen. And it was lots better than last time, with familiar drinks mixed in fancy new ways, and favorite laughs decorating the old unchanged home.

By the time Ben had drunken himself into a fit of random laughter, and Gwilym was nodding off between Rami and Lucy, Joe was saying something about American traditions. He demanded everyone's attention, and insisted the lot of you confess at least one thing you were thankful for. And after Lucy shouted the name of the drink in her hand and Gwilym sat up to clink his cup to hers, you all started giving actual answers. Each revolving around family, and friends, and health and happiness. But before anyone could get too choked up, Ben stood to shift gears with his favorite game of drunk history that never really went the way he wanted it too.

But it wasn't till the next morning that you realized it must have been that silly American holiday. And when you rolled over to find Joe was already awake, you announced how poorly you felt for not realizing when he made everyone say thanks. You hadn't even said good morning before you started yammering promises about how you'd remember to have a proper celebration next year.

But instead of saying good morning, or acknowledging your apologises, Joe broke into a laugh. The kind of laugh that reaches his eyes, the way you love so much. Then he told you he loved you, and you said it back; and then you sprung into another lucky day among friends.

You spent the weekend watching Gwilym teach Olive how to bake and assisting her in passing around treats she helped pour spoonfulls of ingredients in to create. Rami was most often roped into her imaginary games, and he played along with ease. You and Joe were invited to join in one morning, but neither of you could grasp the ever changing rules to Olives satisfaction, and you were swiftly kicked out of the loop while she and Rami played on.

Lucy made sure Olive was perfectly content snuggled up with Ben to watch cartoons, before she pulled you into her room with a bottle of wine for each of you to sip from. You spent a whole afternoon there with her, taking turns spilling your guts over all things you could only discuss with your dearest darling Lucy.

And when the getaway was over, everyone left in separate hurries much like before. But unlike then, you weren't so worried about where everyone might end up. You weren't worried about where you were going, either. You'd all managed to keep coming back together so far, and with an established faith that your group would keep finding excuses to do so, you didn't despair.

You remembered everything, on your drive back to London. The time you'd closed your eyes on this ride, years before. How you and Gwilym survived the nonsense you'd swept yourselves up in. Lucy's unconditional friendship. Rami's strong hugs. Ben's strong feelings.

You thought of what Joe said to you, when you met. How he said he saw a future with you, before he even knew your name. And the thought tore you away from remembering everything to look ahead. To look over, and settle your gaze on Joe. His pretty profile, and the shine of his moonstone eyes. You couldn't quite picture the places you'd end up, but you realize that you couldn't dream of a day without Joe at your side. He was always meant to be there.

While you drove, he entertained every one of Olive's questions that echoed from the back seat. You turned a grateful smile his way every now and again and savored the way he smiled back, in the way you loved so much. In a way that you didn't have to wonder how he felt, or what might come next. Unlike before, Joe made up a million of your memories. And unlike before, you knew he always would.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

taglist: @sonic-volcano @imtheinvisiblequeen @redspecialty @itscale @stardust-killer-queen @joemazzelo @dancetohotspace @kiwi-hardy @joeneslee @borhapqueen92 @im-an-adult-ish @johndeaconshands @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye @beepbeephardy @slutforbritdick @joemazzmatazz @almightygwil  @sadhwstudent​ @freakibanana @lelifesaver @drummah-in-a-rocknroll-band

[mhdiaries]

Freaky Fusion Hybrids Avea Trotter Diary

6/14

I went for a gallop along the beach this morning for a couple of reasons. One, because I thought the sand might feel nice on my hooves, and two, a nice gallop always clears my head. There was a lovely tailwind, too, that caught my wings and helped carry me along. It was almost as if I were flying down the beach, almost. I passed a ghoul and a manster who looked like they were my age. The ghoul was trying to teach the manster how to surf, but he didn’t look scary comfortable.

I didn’t stop to watch, though, because I was just getting my second wind and was really starting to enjoy myself. I also saw Sirena bob up out of the water and then sink again beneath the waves. She didn’t see me, so I didn’t stop for her either, as there was no guarantee that Sirena was going to come back to the surface anyway. I love Sirena to undeath, but I can never make wings or tails out of what she’s about to do next. She tends to drift down her own path, and if it happens to cross the one you’re on, it’s always a treat. In fact, as flighty as she can be, Sirena is the reason Neighthan, Bonita and me all met and became friends. All of us were in middle school together, but we really didn’t know each other very well. I was standing by my locker one day when this vampire kid asked if I wanted to come to his little brother’s birthday party and give flying pony rides. I wanted to kick the unliving dayfrights out of him, when Neighthan and Bonita walked past. Neighthan and Bonita stopped to try and play peacemaker, but the kid’s friends ganged up on us, and pretty soon they were chasing us all down the hall. We turned a corner, and there was Sirena. “Follow me if you want to unlive!”, she said as she touched a brick in the wall that opened a secret passage. We all ran in, and she closed the door behind us. Bonita asked, “How’d you find this place?” Sirena just shrugged, “Sometimes not paying attention to where you’re going gets you to places you really want to be.” None of us understood what she was saying at the time, but we’ve all been beast friends ever since, and no matter how many schools we’ve bounced around to, we know we can always count on each other.

6/20

Every monster knows about Monster High, but not every monster wants to go there. I suppose there are different reasons for that. I’ve heard monsters say that the school isn’t old enough to have traditions, that it’s just a fad that will “run its course” and be replaced by some new creepy cool high school idea. I’ve also heard that the headmistress there is such a stickler for details and excellence that some members of the ghoul board think it’s making it too hard to attract new students. I don’t really know what to think, although it has some pretty passionate monsters that say it’s the beast school ever. I know mom and dad are hoping that they accept my application so I can start there in the fall. I doubt that I’ll get in, but I’m filling out the application anyway. Part of the application is a section where we’re supposed to give a brief history of our monster scaritage. I started to just write: Father – Centaur, Mother – Harpy, and leave it at that, but I’m proud of my parents, so I didn’t. Dad’s a scientist who specializes in researching monster remedies and medicine. Mom is, or I should say was, an aerial surveyor. Now she works with dad as his research assistant. He calls her “his ghoul frightday” and lays all his success at her feet. They met when they were working at a jungle research station with Dr. Boolittle. I don’t think mom and dad liked each other very much at first. Apparently, dad had a habit of getting lost in the jungle, and mom was always being sent out to find him. Dad says he never got lost – he just wanted to see what was over the next hill, even if that hill was 20 miles away. One day a monster storm was blowing in, and dad hadn’t returned to the research station, so mom flew out, again, to find him. Mom found him about the same time a powerful down draft from the storm sent her crashing into the trees. Dad found her, but mom’s wings and one ankle were so badly sprained that she could neither fly nor walk. Dad felt so bad about mom getting hurt because of him that he put her on his back and carried her out of the jungle. Mom said this act of kindness caused her heart to melt right out of her chest. Dad also said that on the trip back they found out they had a lot more in common than they both realized and that by the time they made it out of the jungle he felt like he’d found his best friend. Now mom says dad helps keep her grounded while dad says mom makes his heart soar. They’re the beast parents ever, and they make me proud of what and who I am.

7/2

I’ve been accused of being as stubborn as some four-legged normie animal that for some reason I can’t remember the name of right now. I’m not sure which side of the family that stubbornness comes from, but mom and dad both have their moments. Sometimes it’s a good trait to have, like when I’m out for a run and my mind says, “STOP!”, but I know my body can keep on going and sometimes not, like when I won’t back down after I’ve been insulted. For instance, one of the most insulting things you can say to a centaur is, “How about a ride?” Centaurs don’t give rides. Most monsters know this, but because I also have wings, they think it doesn’t apply to me. I know I should have thicker skin by now, but there are just some soft spots that certain barbs always seem to find. I guess that’s what makes me distrustful of other monsters. Yeah, yeah, I know; you can’t judge every monster by the words and actions of a few, but I’ve really gotten to the place where I assume any new monster I meet is one of the few until they prove they’re not. Mom always tells me that no monster can take my dignity, but I can give it away by the way I react towards those who are trying to steal it from me. My mom has a lot of dignity stored up, while I constantly feel like I’m dropping a single coin into a very large and very empty vault.

7/10

Neighthan, Bonita and me all went to the movies tonight. We invited Sirena, but she said she would see where the currents took her. At least she’s consistently inconsistent. The movie was the last one Veronica von Vamp made before she returned to her life as Elissabat and took the throne as the queen of the vampires. Of course, she could always make another one, after all, what’s the point of being the queen if you can’t do what you want every now and again. It was fun, and I liked the theater. It has a standing room only section for those monsters that don’t really fit into a standard size seat. After it was over we went to the Die-ner to grab a late fright snack, but I guess every other monster must have had the same idea, because we had to wait around a while for a table. While we were waiting, we heard two ghouls behind us talking about Monster High. They were exchange students of some sort, one was a lake monster from Rotland and the other was a bigfoot from Monster Picchu. They mostly were talking to Neighthan, which was fine, since he’s genuinely friendly, and ghouls seem to think he’s cute. I don’t see it myself, but that’s probably because I’ve known him for so long, he’s more like a brother to me. I was actually wishing we were closer to this Minotaur manster that was ahead of us in line. He really made my wings flutter, but he was also with this sweet little Cyclops ghoul, and you could tell they only had eye for each other. We finally got seated, though, and our waitress was this vampire ghoul that tried to give us the wrong food twice, but she was so funny and apologetic about it that we had a hard time getting irritated at her. Neighthan said she was the daughter of Dracula, how he knew that I’m not sure, but like I said, he’s much more friendly than the rest of us, and he probably just asked. Sirena finally came floating in after we were finished. She said that she had been exploring the catacombs and met another ghost named Spectra. “I totally lost track of time, and then I got distracted, and then I couldn’t remember where I was supposed to be, so I just came here,” she said. We all talked for a little while longer about our chances of being able to start at MH in the fall. “We’re going to get in,” Neighthan said, “I’m not worried at all.” Bonita was worried, though, and she started chewing on the sleeve of her shirt as we were talking about it. I’m not worried as much about getting in as I am about fitting in. what if it’s the same as every other school we’ve been to? I’m tired of being the odd-monster out, and if they don’t want us then they can just have their stupid school, I don’t care how great it is… deep breath Avea… deep breath. It might be the beast thing to ever happen… or possibly the worst. Maybe, I’ll just cross my fingers and hope for something in the middle.

7/30

I loped down to the mailbox today, hoping to find the new pair of gloves I ordered, palomino in color, velvet in material and just the right size to fit my hands. But what did I find instead? A letter embossed with the Monster High crest and a wax seal stamped with the initials HHB. This put a little giddy in my up, as it was certain to be a rejection letter. So I was all prepared for the thought of yet another year trying to find a school where we’d be welcome. I gave the letter to mom and trotted back to my room. After about a minute I heard her crying, “Yep, I thought, rejection.” Not that I’m cavalier about mom’s hurt feelings. But since I already knew what it was going to say, I guess I just wasn’t going to get all emotional about yet another high school that didn’t want me. I walked back to where mom was standing and gave her a big hug, “It’s okay, mom, we can always try again next year.” She didn’t say anything, she just smiled through the tears and held up the letter.

Miss Avea Trotter

Dear Avea,

We are delighted to inform you that your application for enrollment at Monster High has been accepted for the fall scaremester. We trust that you are as excited to become part of the student body at Monster High as we are to welcome you into it.

Sincerely,

Headless Headmistress Bloodgood

Then, just for a minute, I started crying, too – I’m not sure why, maybe, some part of me hopes this will be the one place where I’ll be accepted for who and what I am… now wouldn’t that be a real kick in the pants.

[serene-faerie]

21st Anniversary of The Prince of Egypt

To think this movie is already 21 years old (fun fact, this movie came out the date before my birthday, in the year after my birth), and it’s such a beautiful masterpiece!

To celebrate, here’s a list of my favourite moments in no particular order:

1) Deliver Us- This song is perhaps my most favourite song in the whole movie. It’s epic, bitter, and the music is so rhythmic as it captures the suffering of the Hebrews and sets the tone for the rest of the film. There’s also the brief glimmer of hope it offers when baby Moses is found by Queen Tuya, who immediately takes him in after being completely charmed by his adorableness, and Miriam’s lovely reprise of Yocheved’s River Lullaby. And of course, we cannot forget Ofra Haza’s amazing vocals as Yocheved, especially with how she sings in Hebrew in her introduction. She had such a divine voice, and she shall be missed forever. 

2) The Plagues- Of course, this song will also be one of my favourites as well. The emotion in the music, the way the choir sounds so intimidating as they sing lines like “I send the thunder from the sky, I send the fire raining down”, it truly conveys God’s wrath, all while underscoring the turbulent emotional conflict between Moses and Rameses. Hearing the pain in Moses’ voice as he’s forced to watch the Egyptians suffer, and hearing the bitter anger in Rameses’ voice as he remains stubborn to Moses’ pleading... this song is truly a masterpiece. It also really shows how human Moses is. The Old Testament never really shows Moses feeling any remorse for the suffering that the Egyptians go through, but this movie makes Moses so human, so much more real, and shows how he still cares about Egypt, even as he’s trying to free his people.

3) The Return to Egypt- I love the music that plays during Moses and Tzipporah’s journey back to Egypt, especially with the additions of Ofra Haza’s beautiful vocals that underscore the suffering of the Hebrew slaves. And that determined, serious expression on Moses’ face as they near the palace just makes him look so badass, especially when he and Tzipporah enter the palace and make their way to the Pharaoh. I especially loved the festive undercurrent of that particular section of the soundtrack, with Moses and Tzipporah walking with determination into the great hall as the people look at them in surprise and suspicion, all while the dancers are dancing before the Pharaoh. It’s quite a phenomenal scene, really heightening the tension to reveal the Pharaoh upon the throne as Rameses, upon which the music ends. It’s such a determined, badass scene that I just had to include it here.

4) Look Through Heaven’s Eyes- After Moses has lost everything he’s ever known, after his entire life has been destroyed, he feels so unworthy of honour and praise. But with Jethro’s patience and kindness, the help of the Midianites, and the support of Tzipporah, Moses rebuilds a brand new life for himself as a shepherd. It’s such an uplifting song with beautiful lyrics that encourages us to look at our lives in a different perspective, that we all have meaning within us, we just have to find it. And really, it’s so wonderful to see how Moses learns and adapts to a new way of living, how he makes new friends, and of course, how blissful and happy he is after marrying Tzipporah. Plus, seeing Moses and Tzipporah falling in love is super sweet. Ultimately, it’s a song that I’ve now taken to heart, and will remember if I’m ever stuck in a rut.

5) The Burning Bush- Who can ever forget this scene, when Moses meets God? Oh my gosh, it is such an amazingly powerful scene; from the wistful music that plays when Moses discovers the burning bush to the way the bush flowers after God speaks to Moses... I really have to hand it to the filmmakers; they’ve successfully managed to capture the powerful and almighty presence of God. I love how God chastises Moses for questioning Him, then immediately comforts Moses like a loving parent, promising him that He will be there with him, just like any parent would say. It truly is a wonderful, amazing scene that’ll always leave me breathless. Also worth mentioning is the moment before, when Moses gives Tzipporah a kiss in the morning, and after the scene, when he picks Tzipporah up and twirls her around a bit. It’s so sweet and touching to watch, and they’re just so believable as a married couple!

6) The Hieroglyph Nightmare- Despite how dark and horrifying the whole nightmare sequence is, I really love the animation in that scene. Seeing the events of the beginning from Moses’ perspective in the style of hieroglyph paintings is really impressive, but it’s also so chilling to actually see the soldiers tearing babies from their cradles, from their mothers’ arms, all while such terrifying music plays in the background. Every time I watch that scene, I get chills down my spine when I hear the screaming of the mothers and babies that underscores the scene, and then Moses seeing his biological mother sending him as an infant in the basket always pulls at my heart. And the inclusion of the sun disk, Aten, is quite a clever way of showing that God sent Moses the nightmare in a way he understands.

7) The Chariot Race/Moses and Rameses’ Bond- Honestly, this is what really made me love this movie’s portrayal of Moses. As someone who studied the Old Testament in high school, this scene really offers a unique, refreshing portrayal of a Biblical character. I haven’t seen too many Biblical movies, but most of the time, Moses has always been portrayed as old and serious, especially when he returns to free the Hebrews. Seeing Moses portrayed as young, handsome, mischievous, and playful really makes him so much more human, especially when we see how close he and Rameses are. This movie shows that Moses has fond memories of his upbringing in Egypt, and that he truly loves and cares about Rameses, which makes it so much more painful when he’s forced to be enemies with his adoptive brother. And his close bond with Rameses is truly one of the sweetest parts of this movie, especially when Rameses bear-hugs Moses in front of the entire court, which makes the gradual destruction of their brotherhood all the more tragic.

8) The Parting of the Red Sea- Apparently, it took the animators two years to do this scene, and it really shows. It’s so epic and gorgeous to watch, and the passage of the Hebrews through the partition was so amazing. I love how we saw the whale shark being illuminated through one of the walls of water; it truly adds to how majestic this whole scene is. On an emotional level, seeing Aaron being the first one to encourage the Hebrews to cross, and putting his faith in Moses, it’s quite a touching moment. And on a nightmare-fuel level, watching the walls of water collapse and drown all the Egyptian soldiers while pushing Rameses back to the shore is truly terrifying. Honestly, this is another scene that really shows God’s wrath and cruel mercy, and will always chill me whenever I watch it. It truly is a spectacular, sublime moment in this movie.

9) When You Believe- This song is truly a beautiful, touching piece of music, with incredibly uplifting lyrics, and for it to come after one of the most darkest and saddest moments in the movie, I find it quite fitting, actually. Despite the fact that Moses has officially lost Rameses for good, he’s finally succeeded in freeing his people, even though it has come at a heavy price. While Rameses giving Moses permission to leave Egypt with his people was such a bleak and despairing moment, this song offers a glimmer of hope in the darkness. In addition, the children singing “Mi Chamocha” was so sweet, especially as we see how the Hebrews gradually become more cheerful once they realize that they’re free for real. It goes from being sorrowful and tentatively hopeful to triumphant and optimistic, and it’s such a beautiful scene to watch. And of course, Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey’s version is truly the best as well.

10) Playing With The Big Boys- This song is quite a scary song, but it’s just such a cool scene to watch as well. I love the rhythmic invocation of the Egyptian pantheon, especially with how ominous the music is. But I also love how it shows a sharp contrast between how Moses invokes the power of God and how the priests invoke the power of their gods. Moses didn’t need any theatrics or magic tricks to turn his staff into a snake, while the priests literally use smoke and mirrors and elaborate rituals to turn their staffs into snakes. And the fact that the song ends with their snakes being consumed by the snake from Moses’ staff really foreshadows just who ends up winning in the long run, making it quite a good song. And plus, I also like to read the YouTube comments on this particular song, they’re just hilarious.

And those are my top moments of The Prince of Egypt. Of course, it’s an incomplete list, but this is all in no particular order, since I just love the whole movie so much. So happy anniversary to this beautiful, wonderful movie!

[theropoda]

3, 4, 6-8, 11, 13-17, 19-22, 26-30 uwu

WOO LAD THAT’S A LOT THANK U!!! this got long and i wrote an essay or two LOL so im putting it under a readmore!

3: Best game you’ve ever played? WEEEELLLL.......let me preface this with two things: one, i am a FAKE GAMER as in my laptop is not at all made for gaming, it’s piss poor, so a big chunk of games i’m interested in is because i watched a playthrough of them lol. i have a 3ds but only 3 games on it (animal crossing new leaf, tomodachi life, nintedogs & cats). second, i’m very bad at choosing favorites of things.....BUUUUT .....i choooooose, in no particular order, OFF, pigeonetics, elder scrolls oblivion, pathologic classic HD!! i’m more than likely forgetting a few though, so sorry about that

4: Worst game you’ve ever played? as i said above, cannot choose favorites, neither can i choose whatever the opposite of favorites is but...uhh, does lif even count as a game? like lif, the stupid little furry flash game i remember playing on some shady website. it was surprisingly very active with a BUNCH of people there but i kept dying like every 5 seconds....AWFUL

6: A game that’s changed you the most? WELL define Changed.....ummm aha first thing that comes to mind is OFF. it’s one of those things where you never knew you wanted something so fucking bad until you saw it--and it’s like that for me. i NEVER knew i loved that odd, surreal, colorful, “looks playful and simple in some parts but incredibly violent and unnerving in other parts” aesthetic til i played it. like aesthetically i love that game to BITS and something about it just stuck with me til the end of time.

later in life (meaning, past year or so) it changed me because it taught me a lesson about storytelling and creative endeavors. a very useful lesson. which is: things don’t really need to have a meaning. stories, art, music, writing, whatnot, while it CAN be deep and meaningful, while you CAN use it as a way to communicate with the world about all kinds of heartfelt things, it can also be...nothing, really.

once i, as usual, got ridiculously overwhelmingly sad about small things. specifically seeing other people around me come up with all kinds of deep and meaningful characters and stories, sometimes putting them into webcomics or writings of theirs, and they were all so well-thought out and detailed and what i envied most was people put a lot of themselves and their experiences into them, venting and coping through them, whilst also making these larger-than-life grandiose complex stories and worlds and so on and so forth.

it made me look at my own ideas and get mad/frustrated at how shallow they were. but then i remembered OFF and i felt better because Fun Fact, mortis ghost has a now-abandoned dA account and if you go through the comment section on his profile, he answers a lot of fan questions and he mentions several times that the game didn’t really have a “meaning”, it didn’t really have a “deeper story” or moral or anything, really. i’m paraphrasing this but i vividly remember him saying “i wanted to make a game, so i did”.

that made me feel a lot better because it made me realise that sometimes art--especially stories, in my case-- doesn’t NEED to be DEEP or have MEANING...sometimes it can just BE!!!! sometimes it really can just be all about AESTHETICS like who GIVES a shit if there’s a hidden meaning if you take the first letter of all of your characters’ names and put them backwards, sometimes all that matters is if they just VIBE with you y’know....

yume nikki is similar in this regard bc that game doesn’t have any story other than “collect egg” and yet it’s so impactful. that game doesn’t have a story or meaning it just IS........ :) GOD THATS SO LONG IM SORRY ABOUT THAT but yeah. funny violent ghostbusting baseball man is a game that changed me :)

7: A game you’ll never forget? OFF AGAIN LOL,,, it’s just so memorable because of how unique it is. visuals, soundtrack, story, everything is so memorable. unforgettable. oh god you can tell how much i love this damn game can’t you

8: Best soundtrack? yakuza 0, OFF, there is a picture (another game by mortis ghost, again composed by alias conrad coldwood who also composed OFF), pigeonetics (the entire soundtrack of which is here), jojo’s bizarre adventure all star battle and eyes of heaven, silent hill 2 & 3, undertale....probably forgetting more but all of these...earcandy

11: Hardest game you’ve played? i am a shitty gamer so this is Most games i’ve played lol!! but uhh..well you see. hardest game i remember playing as of recent is pathologic classic hd in which it’s...not only hard to understand what any character is saying at any given time lol but also, i don’t think it’s HARD it’s just...you need to focus. you REALLY need to fucking focus and pay attention in this game. so i wouldn’t say its HARD, but i’m only putting this here bc it’s in recent memory.

i say recent memory because the true answer is susceptible to “yeah, but now you’re older, it must not be so hard.” as in if i played it now i think i’d have a way easier time. but when i was around....10-12 years old i had several ps3 video game adaptations of animated movies and i had SUCH a fucking hard time with them. g-force, bolt and up in particular were fucking HARD. like genuinely, the hardest time i had EVER had in my live playing video games is tied to these three fucking games. g-force and bolt ESPECIALLY. one particular level in bolt took both me AND my sister around a year to fucking finish.

again, i was baby, so i bet i’d have a much easier time with them now that i’m 17. but for now, in my experience, bolt and g-force for the ps3 were harder than pathologic classic. i think icepick lodge should take a few notes for them for pathologic 2.

13: A game you were the most excited for when it wasn’t released yet? STREETS OF KAMUROCHO...i spent the entire day of its release anticipating its launch lol

14: A game you think would be cool if it had voice acting? hmm..most games i like and know about do have voice acting so i dunno....i guess it would’ve been kind of cool if morrowind had like, full proper voice acting. but i can understand why it only voice acted things like greetings and battle insults because GOD that game is SO...complicated...and as a result, the conversations are so lengthy and text-full. playing morrowind is really like a goddamn book! if it was voice acted i’m sure all that information would have to be shortened bc i know no one is going to fucking voice act two whole paragraphs

15: Which two games do you think would make an awesome crossover? pigeonetics and yakuza in which instead of being about the criminal underworld it’s about shady and unethical pigeon clubs, breeding, racing, etc etc...a lot of illegal shit does happen in the world of pigeons especially when it comes to racing; prized racers have been kidnapped and held for ransom before. and then there’s Avian Cucking: The Sport, where people breed the sexiest pigeons (horseman thief pouters), release them outside to seduce other people’s sexy pigeons, and bring them back and keep ‘em, drama ensues. will kiryu ever escape his past as a professional pigeon-napper, and find solace in his new life as a pigeon hobbyist? find out now by playing YACOOZA......

JOKES ASIDES i don’t know i really don’t....umm, pigeonetics and animal crossing somehow?? :O... like, instead of managing your own town it’s managing your own loft!...orrrr, the jojo games (all star battle & eyes of heaven) with yakuza, because i think they’re somewhat similar because they’re both haha Wacky Silly AND serious over the top fighty-fighting.....or maybe a crossover with OFF and discover my body, which, despite being an incredibly short and obscure indie game i still love to bits for what it’s worth. WAIT ANIMAL CROSSING AND MINECRAFT THAT WOULD FUCK SO HARD OH MY GOD

16: Character you’ve hated most? From what game? i can’t think of any character i like, HATE...with a burning passion.. there are a few i dislike or have a complicated relationship with though.. i’m not interested in the series anymore but ouma from drv3...i’ll admit that he is a bit fun sometimes, especially in the very early beginning he’s a likeable brat but as the game progresses he becomes more irritating than anything and i have an issue with him in regards to writing, despite the fact that i have never been awake in any english class ever lol. it’s too long to put in this already long post but i’ll keep it at that. if you like him, well, good for you for finding joy in something i couldn’t! but he just doesn’t do it for me.

AH I JUST REMEMBERED....MINE......FROM YAKUZA 3....maybe i’d change my mind if i watched a playthrough of y3 again, because i think you always absorb something better on your second watch (tho i honestly Dont have the energy to do that all over again, the yakuza games are too fucking long), but i really hate his writing. spoilers for y3 but, i think mine’s writing, alongside other things in the game, were super messy...and a big part of why i hate him is that not only is he one of those “could’ve had great potential but fell flat” sorta guys but also his love for daigo is seen as some fans as good gay rep and i?????/.............um....WELL let’s just say that, i think people nowadays will see any gay character ever in any circumstance and say it’s good gay rep just based off the fact that A Gay Character exists....he was Not, good gay rep imo....he was not, let alone, Good. .........

17: What game do you never tell people you play? can’t think of any games i wouldn’t tell people i play.. idk exactly what this question’s asking. does it mean what game you don’t tell ppl you play bc you’re embarrassed about it...? i’m not very embarrassed by any of them. the only thing that comes close, i guess, is uhh lioden and wolvden. i’ve only interacted with those communities a LITTLE TINY WEE BIT, yet of what i’ve seen it’s a goddamn dumpster fire and i’d never want to be associated with them lol

19: Which game do you think deserves a revival? i’m well aware it’ll never happen and that it’s more a wet dream than anything but...PT/silent hills..... on a more realistic/”could happen” note, PIGEONETICS!!!! SERIOUSLY, it’s an amazing game about amazing animals and it teaches genetics in a very simplified and efficient way!! genetics is SO hard for me to understand, i fucking hated studying it but this game really helped me understand how it works AND its super engaging and interesting!! HOWEVER, of all the pigeon genes we know of, only a handful were seen in pigeonetics and i’d LOVE a sequel that employs new game mechanics AND new genes!! i wanna learn about bronze and stencil genes! i wanna learn about phenotypes like grizzled and pied!!! genes like sooty and dirty!!! @ UNIVERSITY OF UTAH GENETICS DEPARTMENT PLEASE IM BEGIGNG YOU

20: What was the first video game you ever played? earliest memories of Gaming involves me at my aunt’s house playing two games: super mario brothers and some kind of trapeze game. i don’t remember anything else though

21: How old were you when you first played a video game? i can’t remember but i must’ve been REAL tiny.... 6-9 years, maybe??

22: If you could immerse yourself in any game for one day, which game would it be? What would you do? immerse myself meaning go into their world...? huh....on one hand i’d like to go in the world of yakuza 0 to play in the arcades and do whore related activities but i’d also love to go into the world of animal crossing (and i’m pretty sure i’d be some sort of generic dromaeosaurid in that game!!) and shop, chat with villagers, do chores for them, go fishing, bug hunting, eat delicious fucking food like the apples mangos peaches cherries etc etc.....OH AND FOSSIL HUNTING THAT’S THE BEST PART!! though it would definetly be a little weird, to be a little dinosaur and finding a fossil of a...little dinosaur....i guess the non-sentient species went extinct and the dinosaur i am is some kind of, descendant of a sapient non-avian dinosaur that survived the k-pg extinction event...oh but who cares all i want is a cool little ambulocetus fossil or something. and some cherry pie :)

26: Handheld or console? my old ps3 just went kaput one day years ago so i haven’t used it in years so i can’t compare well... but i’d say handheld, because it lets me like DO stuff more...would love to get a console one day, a ps4 maybe but i’m kinda worried it’ll make me stay in one room all day wasting away my time when there’s other stuff i can do, y’know? but something handheld like my 3ds, on the other hand...i can do stuff with it. i can take it to my room and play it between breaks i take as i clean the room and fold my clothes, i can watch something on the tv and play the game during ad breaks, i can take it outside too if it has charge to last me a while! so....handheld i guess

27: Has there ever been a moment that has made you cry? yakuza 0 and undertale in particular have ALMOST made me fucking bawl with many of its moments....yakuza 0 especially, after that Fucking Ending i had trouble sleeping because oh my fucking god. video game people SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28: Which character’s clothes do you wish you owned the most?

29:  Which is more important, gameplay or story? HMMM....well, if i were to play a game with a shitty story but really good and fun gameplay i’d probably continue playing it for the gameplay. but if i played a game with shitty gameplay but an interesting story, there is a chance i’d play it more for the sake of the story but also i might just quite and see the rest of the story on youtube or something. i’m more likely to go through a boring story for fun gameplay than go through boring gameplay for an interesting story, so i guess gameplay is more important to me....that is, WHEN i actually own and play a game as opposed to when i just watch someone play a game because i don’t own the game but wanna know abt the story lol

30: A game that hasn’t been localized in your country that you think should be localized? i have no idea how video game localization really works....but i assume localizing a game in india would mean something like, removing content according to cultural norm and also somehow translating it into the 22 official languages..? or just two or three language if it’s tied to a particular state, which seems way more doable. i honestly have no idea? i’ve never interacted w the indian gaming community that much to be honest, all i know of it is of the video games i’ve seen sold in some game stores and a few whispers about like solid snake or whoever from my school’s cafeteria....the most popular games here, to my knowledge, are those very streamable games like fortnite and PUBG and your call of duties and whatnot. those generic shooters. and even then, that honestly isn’t the “indian” gaming community bc this country is so FUCKHUGE, it’s just tamil nadu. one state.

soooo, according to what little i know of gaming interests in where i live, i don’t think any of the games i like should be localized here bc i don’t really think there’s an audience for it as far as i can tell :( maybe animal crossing? it’s a fun little games for all ages and i think it has a chance of becoming popular here, so maybe that is worth a shot! but i can’t think of any other game that i like that really has an audience here (other than Me lol)

[mhdiaries]

Diary of Avea Trotter

You might get a kick out of reading my diary... seriously, you might.

6/14

I went for a gallop along the beach this morning for a couple of reasons. One, because I thought the sand might feel nice on my hooves, and two, a nice gallop always clears my head. There was a lovely tailwind, too, that caught my wings and helped carry me along. It was almost as if I were flying down the beach, almost. I passed a ghoul and a manster who looked like they were my age. The ghoul was trying to teach the manster how to surf, but he didn’t look scary comfortable.

I didn’t stop to watch, though, because I was just getting my second wind and was really starting to enjoy myself. I also saw Sirena bob up out of the water and then sink again beneath the waves. She didn’t see me, so I didn’t stop for her either, as there was no guarantee that Sirena was going to come back to the surface anyway. I love Sirena to undeath, but I can never make wings or tails out of what she’s about to do next. She tends to drift down her own path, and if it happens to cross the one you’re on, it’s always a treat. In fact, as flighty as she can be, Sirena is the reason Neighthan, Bonita and me all met and became friends. All of us were in middle school together, but we really didn’t know each other very well. I was standing by my locker one day when this vampire kid asked if I wanted to come to his little brother’s birthday party and give flying pony rides. I wanted to kick the unliving dayfrights out of him, when Neighthan and Bonita walked past. Neighthan and Bonita stopped to try and play peacemaker, but the kid’s friends ganged up on us, and pretty soon they were chasing us all down the hall. We turned a corner, and there was Sirena. “Follow me if you want to unlive!”, she said as she touched a brick in the wall that opened a secret passage. We all ran in, and she closed the door behind us. Bonita asked, “How’d you find this place?” Sirena just shrugged, “Sometimes not paying attention to where you’re going gets you to places you really want to be.” None of us understood what she was saying at the time, but we’ve all been beast friends ever since, and no matter how many schools we’ve bounced around to, we know we can always count on each other.

6/20

Every monster knows about Monster High, but not every monster wants to go there. I suppose there are different reasons for that. I’ve heard monsters say that the school isn’t old enough to have traditions, that it’s just a fad that will “run its course” and be replaced by some new creepy cool high school idea. I’ve also heard that the headmistress there is such a stickler for details and excellence that some members of the ghoul board think it’s making it too hard to attract new students. I don’t really know what to think, although it has some pretty passionate monsters that say it’s the beast school ever. I know mom and dad are hoping that they accept my application so I can start there in the fall. I doubt that I’ll get in, but I’m filling out the application anyway. Part of the application is a section where we’re supposed to give a brief history of our monster scaritage. I started to just write: Father – Centaur, Mother – Harpy, and leave it at that, but I’m proud of my parents, so I didn’t. Dad’s a scientist who specializes in researching monster remedies and medicine. Mom is, or I should say was, an aerial surveyor. Now she works with dad as his research assistant. He calls her “his ghoul frightday” and lays all his success at her feet. They met when they were working at a jungle research station with Dr. Boolittle. I don’t think mom and dad liked each other very much at first. Apparently, dad had a habit of getting lost in the jungle, and mom was always being sent out to find him. Dad says he never got lost – he just wanted to see what was over the next hill, even if that hill was 20 miles away. One day a monster storm was blowing in, and dad hadn’t returned to the research station, so mom flew out, again, to find him. Mom found him about the same time a powerful down draft from the storm sent her crashing into the trees. Dad found her, but mom’s wings and one ankle were so badly sprained that she could neither fly nor walk. Dad felt so bad about mom getting hurt because of him that he put her on his back and carried her out of the jungle. Mom said this act of kindness caused her heart to melt right out of her chest. Dad also said that on the trip back they found out they had a lot more in common than they both realized and that by the time they made it out of the jungle he felt like he’d found his best friend. Now mom says dad helps keep her grounded while dad says mom makes his heart soar. They’re the beast parents ever, and they make me proud of what and who I am.

7/2

I’ve been accused of being as stubborn as some four-legged normie animal that for some reason I can’t remember the name of right now. I’m not sure which side of the family that stubbornness comes from, but mom and dad both have their moments. Sometimes it’s a good trait to have, like when I’m out for a run and my mind says, “STOP!”, but I know my body can keep on going and sometimes not, like when I won’t back down after I’ve been insulted. For instance, one of the most insulting things you can say to a centaur is, “How about a ride?” Centaurs don’t give rides. Most monsters know this, but because I also have wings, they think it doesn’t apply to me. I know I should have thicker skin by now, but there are just some soft spots that certain barbs always seem to find. I guess that’s what makes me distrustful of other monsters. Yeah, yeah, I know; you can’t judge every monster by the words and actions of a few, but I’ve really gotten to the place where I assume any new monster I meet is one of the few until they prove they’re not. Mom always tells me that no monster can take my dignity, but I can give it away by the way I react towards those who are trying to steal it from me. My mom has a lot of dignity stored up, while I constantly feel like I’m dropping a single coin into a very large and very empty vault.

7/10

Neighthan, Bonita and me all went to the movies tonight. We invited Sirena, but she said she would see where the currents took her. At least she’s consistently inconsistent. The movie was the last one Veronica von Vamp made before she returned to her life as Elissabat and took the throne as the queen of the vampires. Of course, she could always make another one, after all, what’s the point of being the queen if you can’t do what you want every now and again. It was fun, and I liked the theater. It has a standing room only section for those monsters that don’t really fit into a standard size seat. After it was over we went to the Die-ner to grab a late fright snack, but I guess every other monster must have had the same idea, because we had to wait around a while for a table. While we were waiting, we heard two ghouls behind us talking about Monster High. They were exchange students of some sort, one was a lake monster from Rotland and the other was a bigfoot from Monster Picchu. They mostly were talking to Neighthan, which was fine, since he’s genuinely friendly, and ghouls seem to think he’s cute. I don’t see it myself, but that’s probably because I’ve known him for so long, he’s more like a brother to me. I was actually wishing we were closer to this Minotaur manster that was ahead of us in line. He really made my wings flutter, but he was also with this sweet little Cyclops ghoul, and you could tell they only had eye for each other. We finally got seated, though, and our waitress was this vampire ghoul that tried to give us the wrong food twice, but she was so funny and apologetic about it that we had a hard time getting irritated at her. Neighthan said she was the daughter of Dracula, how he knew that I’m not sure, but like I said, he’s much more friendly than the rest of us, and he probably just asked. Sirena finally came floating in after we were finished. She said that she had been exploring the catacombs and met another ghost named Spectra. “I totally lost track of time, and then I got distracted, and then I couldn’t remember where I was supposed to be, so I just came here,” she said. We all talked for a little while longer about our chances of being able to start at MH in the fall. “We’re going to get in,” Neighthan said, “I’m not worried at all.” Bonita was worried, though, and she started chewing on the sleeve of her shirt as we were talking about it. I’m not worried as much about getting in as I am about fitting in. what if it’s the same as every other school we’ve been to? I’m tired of being the odd-monster out, and if they don’t want us then they can just have their stupid school, I don’t care how great it is… deep breath Avea… deep breath. It might be the beast thing to ever happen… or possibly the worst. Maybe, I’ll just cross my fingers and hope for something in the middle.

7/30

I loped down to the mailbox today, hoping to find the new pair of gloves I ordered, palomino in color, velvet in material and just the right size to fit my hands. But what did I find instead? A letter embossed with the Monster High crest and a wax seal stamped with the initials HHB. This put a little giddy in my up, as it was certain to be a rejection letter. So I was all prepared for the thought of yet another year trying to find a school where we’d be welcome. I gave the letter to mom and trotted back to my room. After about a minute I heard her crying, “Yep, I thought, rejection.” Not that I’m cavalier about mom’s hurt feelings. But since I already knew what it was going to say, I guess I just wasn’t going to get all emotional about yet another high school that didn’t want me. I walked back to where mom was standing and gave her a big hug, “It’s okay, mom, we can always try again next year.” She didn’t say anything, she just smiled through the tears and held up the letter.

Miss Avea Trotter

Dear Avea,

We are delighted to inform you that your application for enrollment at Monster High has been accepted for the fall scaremester. We trust that you are as excited to become part of the student body at Monster High as we are to welcome you into it.

Sincerely,

Headless Headmistress Bloodgood

Then, just for a minute, I started crying, too – I’m not sure why, maybe, some part of me hopes this will be the one place where I’ll be accepted for who and what I am… now wouldn’t that be a real kick in the pants.

[lovemesomesurveys]

January (Month Survey #1)

Warning: These surveys are long. Take at your own risk.

National Days

Jan 1. National Hangover Day: What’s the worst hangover that you’ve ever had? The one after the last night I ever drank. That night was horrible. I got so sick and it was embarrassing and ugh it just ended up ruining the rest of the night. I still trip out because I honestly don’t recall drinking that much, but I got really drunk. I guess the drinking games made me lose track or something. Thank goodness for my best friend at the time who took care of me. I couldn’t really sleep that night cause I got sick a few times and just felt like shit and the rest of the day I just did absolutely nothing. I didn’t even want to look at alcohol for awhile.

National Bloody Mary Day: Do you believe in the Bloody Mary folklore? No, but I still don’t mess around with that kind of stuff.

Euro Day: Do you have any Euros? No.

National Black Eyed Peas Day: Do you like listening to the Black Eyed Peas? How about eating them? The group was cool, I liked a few of their songs. I’ve never had actual black eyed peas.

Apple Gifting Day: What’s your favorite type of apple – red, yellow, or green? I’m not an apple gal. Well, when it comes to the fruit. I love Apple products haha.

New Year’s Day: How did you celebrate New Year’s? My mom had to work until 11PM and my brother was at a friend’s house and was spending the night, so it was just my dad and I. We got takeout and watched the New Year’s Eve shows, but he ended up falling asleep a couple hours before midnight. My mom got home just in time to watch some of the New Year’s Eve shows before midnight and then we watched the ball drop, so at least I wasn’t alone. My dad slept right through it lol. It was a very chill night.

Jan 2. National Buffet Day: Where’s the best buffet in your area? The only buffet I liked was Mongolian BBQ. You put your noodles, meats, veggies, toppings, and sauces yourself and then they cooked it right in front of you on a big, round, super hot grill, so I felt comfortable consuming it. Other buffets where the food is brought out for everyone to have access to... yeah, no thanks. 

World Introvert Day: Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? Oh, I’m an introvert all the way.

Swiss Cheese Day: What meat do you typically eat Swiss cheese with? Ya know, I don’t think I’ve ever had Swiss cheese. 

National Cream Puff Day: Do you like cream puffs? Have you ever made them before? Yeah, they’re good. I’ve never made them, I just bought them from the frozen food section at the store lol.

Run Up the Flagpole and See if Anyone Salutes Day: Have you ever tried to climb a flagpole before? No. I couldn’t do that even if for some reason I wanted to.

National Personal Trainer Awareness Day: Do you have a personal trainer? Nope.

National Science Fiction Day: What’s the last science-fiction novel you’ve read? The Hunger Games series several years ago.

Happy Mew Year For Cats Day: Do you prefer cats or dogs? Why? I’m a dog person, personally. I’ve always had dogs and I just vibe more with them. Mine have all been so loving and sweet and silly and pure.

National Pet Travel Safety Day: Does your pet do well during car rides, or do they hate it? She doesn’t like them. 

Jan 3. National Drinking Straw Day: Do you use drinking straws at home, or only out at restaurants? I use a straw with everything I drink.

Festival of Sleep Day: Do you enjoy sleeping, or do you spend most of your time awake? I love sleeping.

Humiliation Day: When’s the last time you were humiliated? Why? Let’s not get into that.

National Chocolate-Covered Cherry Day: Do you prefer chocolate-covered cherries or chocolate-covered strawberries more? Strawberries. 

National Fruitcake Toss Day: Do you like fruitcake? No. It just doesn’t even look appealing to me.

J.R.R. Tolkien Day: Have you read the Lord of the Rings series? What did you think of it? Nope. I’ve never seen the movies, ether. Just wasn’t of any interest to me.

Jan 4. National Missouri Day: Do you know anyone who comes from Missouri? Well, not from there, but my dad lived there growing up and I have family out there now.

National Spaghetti Day: Is spaghetti one of your favorite Italian dishes? Yessss. Spaghetti and meatballs, specifically. 

National Trivia Day: Do you enjoy playing trivia games? Any in particular? Yeah, those like Trivial Pursuit and Scene It.

World Braille Day: Do you know anyone who can read Braille? No.

World Hypnotism Day: Have you ever felt hypnotized before? Can you describe it? No. 

Jan 5. National Screenwriters Day: Have you ever written a play or some other sort of script before? Nope. I’ve written short stories and fan fiction, though.

National Whipped Cream Day: Have you ever used whipped cream for sexual purposes? Nope.

National Keto Day: Do you or anyone you know follow a ketogenic diet? Not that I know of.

National Bird Day: What’s your favorite type of bird? Hummingbirds are neat.

Jan 6. National Thank God It’s Monday Day: Do you actually prefer Mondays to Fridays? Why or why not? The days are all the same to me now, but back when I was in school I always dreaded Mondays.

The Epiphany (Three Kings Day): Do you celebrate this holiday? No. I had to Google that because I had never heard of it before.

National Bean Day: What’s your favorite type of bean? (ie: baked, lima, green, etc) Refried beans.

National Technology Day: What’s your favorite piece of technology that you own? My laptop and phone.

National Shortbread Day: Have you ever eaten those Trefoil  Girl Scout shortbread cookies? Yep. I love shortbread cookies.

National Cuddle Up Day: Who’s the best cuddler you know? My doggo. 

Jan 7. National Bobblehead Day: Do you own any bobbleheads? Of who? I have a Chewbacca one.

National Tempura Day: Have you ever tried tempura before? Did you like it? I’ve had chicken and vegetable tempura, which is really good. 

Old Rock Day: Would you be interested in digging for fossils? Only when playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons haha. That’s part of my character’s daily routine.

Jan 8. National Argyle Day: Do you own any clothing with argyle print? Nope.

National Bubble Bath Day: When’s the last time you took a bubble bath? When I was a kid.

Male Watcher’s Day: Do you like to people-watch? It can be interesting. 

National Take the Stairs Day: Do you prefer the stairs or the elevator? I can only take the elevator.

National English Toffee Day: Do you enjoy eating toffee? I’ve had more toffee flavored things than actual toffee, but yeah.

Elvis Presley’s Birthday: What is your favorite Elvis Presley song? Can’t Help Falling in Love.

National Joygerm Day: How do you treat people with kindness? Do you typically have a positive attitude about things? I try to be understanding and openminded, I try to be a good listener, I don’t put people down or belittle others, I try not to be rude or impolite, and I try to help if I can. I don’t have a positive outlook when it comes to myself, but I can for others. We could even have the same issue and I’ll be able to see it differently for them than I do for myself. I’m forgiving when it comes to others and I’ll see the good in them, truly believing it, but I beat myself up all the time. 

National Winter Skin Relief Day: What do you treat your skin/lips with, when they are chapped? Ugh, I have that issue in the summer as well it’s so annoying. Anyway, I just use lotion and chapstick. I don’t use it as often as I should, though, for some reason. It would definitely help. I should also use a face moisturizer. 

Jan 9. National Apricot Day: Do you prefer apricots dried, in fresh fruit form, or the canned version? I don’t like apricots at all.

National Law Enforcement Appreciation Day: Do you have issues with people of authority? I have an issue with the bad ones who abuse their power.

National Static Electricity Day: When’s the last time your hair succumbed to static electricity? Hmm. I don’t recall. I remember doing that with a balloon when I was a kid, though lol.

National Balloon Ascension Day: Have you ever released balloons purposefully into the air? No, that was so sad whenever it happened. RIP to all the balloons I’ve ever lost. 

Play God Day: What would you do if you were in charge of the entire universe for the day? Noooo way. I will gladly leave that to God.

Jan 10. National Bittersweet Chocolate Day: What’s your favorite type of chocolate? White chocolate.

Save the Eagles Day: What are bald eagles symbolic of? Strength, freedom, bravery.

Peculiar People Day: Who’s the most peculiar person you know? Hmm. I don’t know. I use that word to describe things more often.

National Cut Your Energy Costs Day: What do you do in order to save energy? We wait to run the dishwasher and washer and dryer until after a certain time. I think it’s after 7PM.

National Oysters Rockefeller Day: Have you ever had baked oysters before? Did you like them? Nah, I’m good.

National Houseplant Appreciation Day: Do you have any indoor plants? How about outdoor plants? No indoor ones, but my mom has a couple outside.

Jan 11. National Arkansas Day: Have you ever been to Arkansas before? Nope.

Learn Your Name in Morse Code Day: Do you know how to use Morse code? No.

National Human Trafficking Awareness Day: Do you know anyone who’s been a victim of human trafficking?   Nooo. I can’t believe that goes on, horrific doesn’t even begin to describe it.

National Milk Day: Do you prefer white, chocolate, or strawberry milk? I liked strawberry milk when I was a kid. I could totally go for a strawberry milkshake, though.

National Girl Hug Boy Day: Have you ever been the one to make the first move? No.

National Hot Toddy Day: Have you ever made yourself a hot toddy before? Nope. I’ve never had one.

National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friends Day No question for this?

National Vision Board Day: Do you have a vision board? Have you ever made one before? What would be on it? Nope. I have no idea what I would do for one.

Jan 12. National Pharmacist Day: When’s the last time you visited the pharmacist? Uhhh, it’s been a long time. My mom or brother just pick up my medicine for me.

National Sunday Supper Day: Do you have big Sunday dinners with your family? No. 

Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day: Who’s a fabulous man that you know of? lol what an interesting day. Anyway, hmm. I don’t know.

National Marzipan Day: Do you know what marzipan is? Have you ever made it/had it before? I know what it is, but I don’t think I’ve had it. I definitely have never made it.

National Curried Chicken Day: Do you enjoy curry? Have you ever had it before? I’ve only had it once, but I remember liking it. It’s spicy, right? I can’t have spicy food anymore. :/

National Kiss a Ginger Day: Have you ever dated a redhead before? No.

National Youth Day: Do you know of a child who made a huge difference in society?   I’ve heard stories of kids who have done really awesome things for charity and to help their communities, especially during the pandemic. 

National Glazed Doughnut Day: What’s your favorite type of doughnut? Maple or glazed cake donuts.

Jan 13. National Rubber Ducky Day: When’s the last time you used a rubber ducky in the bathtub? When I was a kid.

Stephen Foster Memorial Day: Do you like any songs by Stephen Foster? I had to Google who that was, and the only song I think I know is Swanee River. 

National Peach Melba Day: Have you ever had a Peach Melba before? How was it? Nope. Had to Google that, too.

Korean American Day: Do you know any Koreans immigrants who now live in America? No.

National Gluten-Free Day: Do you know anyone who has to follow a gluten-free diet? Not personally, but a couple people I watch on YouTube have celiac disease. 

National Sticker Day: Did you like stickers as a kid? I loved stickers. Stickers are still awesome. Although, I never know what to do with them now, ha. I can’t commit to putting them anywhere.

National Clean Off Your Desk Day: Do you have a desk in your room? Is it organized? Nope. My desk is my bed, ha. It has my laptop and some other stuff that a desk would likely have. My bed is where I spend most of my time, so.

International Skeptics Day: Are you skeptical of anything? What? Yeah. Like when reading something online, for example. Or certain news stories.

Make Tour Dream Come True Day: Have any of your dreams actually ever come true before? Uhh well, I’ve had dreams about going to Disneyland and I’ve gone. ha.

Jan 14. National Dress Up Your Pet Day: Have you ever dressed up your pet before? In what? Yeah, she has a few sweaters and Halloween costumes.

National Hot Pastrami Sandwich Day: What’s your favorite kind of sandwich? Deli sandwich with turkey, salami, Monterey Jack cheese, pickles, mayo, mustard, and oil and vinegar spread is my favorite. I’ll have that at home, too, but it always taste best when I get it from somewhere. I like bologna sandwiches as well.

Ratification Day: Do you remember the significance of the Treaty of Paris? Yeah.

International Kite Day: Have you ever flown a kite before? Nope.

National Shop For Travel Day: When’s the last time you went shopping for a vacation? Back in February before our Disneyland trip. I can’t believe we were in lockdown/quarantine about a month later. 

Jan 15. National Booch Day: Do you like the taste of Kombucha? I’ve never tried it and have no interest to. My brother loves it.

National Hat Day: What does your favorite hat look like? It’s rose gold and has a little white Mickey Mouse symbol on it that I got from Disneyland.

National Bagel Day: What kind of bagel do you eat most often? What do you put on it? I haven’t had a bagel in years, but I always just had a regular one with cream cheese. Strawberry cream cheese is really good.

National Strawberry Ice Cream Day: What’s your favorite flavor ice cream? Strawberry.

Museum Selfie Day: When’s the last time you went to a museum? Several years ago.

National Fresh Squeezed Juice Day: Have you ever made your own juice or lemonade before? How was it? Lemonade, yeah. It was good.

Jan 16. National Nothing Day: When’s the last time you did absolutely nothing all day? Everyday?

Appreciate a Dragon Day: Are dragons your favorite mythical creature? Nah, I’d go with fairies. 

National Without a Scalpel Day: Has anyone ever used a scalpel on you before? Yes, for surgical procedures.

Get to Know Your Customers Day: Is the customer really always right? Why or why not? Not always, that’s for sure. I’ve heard a lot of horror stories from people I know who work in retail and yikes. People can be so rude. 

National Religious Freedom Day: Are you a religious person? Yes.

National Fig Newtons Day: When’s the last time you ate a Fig Newton? I’m not exactly sure, but I know it’s been yearssss.

International Hot and Spicy Food Day: What’s the spiciest food you eat? I can’t eat spicy food anymore D: I used to be obSESSED, though. I put hot sauce on just about everything and loved spicy chips and ramen and just everything.

Rid the World of Fad Diets and Gimmicks Day: Have you ever been on a diet before? Did it work? I’ve had to be on high protein and high caloric diets before and I’m supposed to be on one now, but gah. My appetite is a mess and I have other issues that affect my eating and yeah. It’s hard. Jan 17. National Bootlegger’s Day: Do you know anyone who makes bootleg DVD’s? No. I don’t really hear much about that anymore like I did back in the day.

National Hot Heads Chili Day: What do you like to eat in your chili? I can’t eat chili anymore, but back in the day I loved it spicy. 

National Hot Buttered Rum Day: Are you a fan of rum, or do you prefer another type of alcohol? I don’t like any alcohol.

Ben Franklin Day: Name at least one of Ben Franklin’s inventions. The lightning rod.

Michelle Obama’s Birthday: Do you miss when her husband was back in office? I don’t like getting into politics. 

Ditch New Year’s Resolution Day: How long do you keep your New Year’s Resolutions for? Do you even make them in the first place? I stopped making those years ago. 

Jan 18. National Winnie the Pooh Day: Who is your favorite character from Winnie the Pooh? Awww I love Winnie the Pooh, he’s my favorite. I really vibe with Eeyore, too. 

National Michigan Day: Do you live in Michigan? Nope.

National Gourmet Coffee Day: What’s your favorite “specialized” coffee drink? The winter drinks at Starbucks.

National Thesaurus Day: When’s the last time you used a thesaurus? Recently for something, I forget why.

National Peking Duck Day: Have you ever eaten duck before? No.

National Use Your Gift Card Day: Where would you like to get a gift card to? Hmm. BoxLunch would be cool.

Jan 19. World Quark Day: Have you ever heard of quark? Nope. I just Googled it, though. Doesn’t sound appealing.

National  Popcorn Day: What’s your favorite seasoning/flavor of popcorn? Good ol’ movie theater popcorn with salt and lots of butter. I also love this garlic parm seasoning I get at the store.

National Disc Jockey Day: Would you rather have a band or a DJ at your wedding. DJ.

World Religion Day: What is your religion? Do you have one? Christian.

National Tin Can Day: What’s the last can that you recycled? My family and I recycle our cans and plastic bottles. The last can I had was a Starbucks Doubleshot coffee energy drink.

Jan 20. National Cheese Lover’s Day: What’s your favorite kind of cheese? I loveee cheese. Various kinds.

Martin Luther King jr. Day: In what ways was Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. influential? He was a huge influential leader in the civil rights movement and helped spark major changes. He was a very courageous and intelligent man.

National Buttercrunch Day: Have you ever made butter crunch before? Nope.

National Penguin Day: What’s your favorite thing about penguins? Their little waddle and how they mate for life. They’re so cute.

Jan 21. National Hugging Day: Are you a hugger? Not really. Like, I’m not one to initiate a hug. Hugs from certain people are really nice, though.

National Granola Bar Day: Do you eat granola bars? What’s your favorite flavor? I used to all the time. The Quaker Oats chocolate chip, peanut butter, and s’mores ones were my favorite. Sunbelt oats and honey granola bars are really good, too.

Squirrel Appreciation Day: Squirrels or chipmunks? Chipmunks. Aww, this reminds of Ty because he was squirrel and I was giraffe.

International Sweatpants Day: How many pairs of sweatpants do you own? Only 2. I’m a leggings gal, I have a shitload of leggings. I feel like a cartoon character when they show their closest lol.

National Banana Bread Day: Do you prefer your banana bread with or without walnuts? How about chocolate chips? Without walnuts, hands down. SO good. I’ve never tried it with chocolate chips.

National New England Clam Chowder Day: Do you like New England Clam Chowder soup? No.

Jan 22. Celebration of Life Day: Do you believe that abortion should be legal? Why or why not? I don’t like getting into political and touchy topics like this.

National Blonde Brownie Day: What’s your favorite type of brownie? Fudge brownies. Yum.

Library Shelfie  Day: How often do you visit your public library? I haven’t gone since I was in high school, so it’s been over 10 years.

National Southern Food Day: What’s your favorite Southern food/meal? Biscuits and gravy.

National Sanctity of Human Life Day: Do you believe that all humans have some sort of value? Yes?

National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day: Do you talk to your pets? Of course! All the time.

Hot Sauce Day: How hot do you like your hot sauce? I can only handle a little mild hot sauce now. D: I used to be obsessed with spicy foods and hot sauces back when I could have it.

Jan 23. National Handwriting Day: Do you prefer printing or writing in cursive? Printing. 

World Spay Day: Are all of your pets spayed or neutered? Yes, my doggo is spayed. That was done before we could bring her home from the adoption shelter.

National Pie Day/National Rhubarb Pie Day: What’s your favorite type of pie? Cheesecake. That’s the only kind I like.

Measure Your Feet Day: How big are your feet? I have small feet. I wear a 6 in womens (US). I can wear a 3.5/4 in kid’s, too. That’s the size my Adidas are.

Jan 24. Beer Can Appreciation Day: What’s your favorite type of beer? Ew, none.

National Compliment Day: What’s the last compliment that you’ve received? I don’t even remember, it’s been a long time.

National Peanut Butter Day: What’s your favorite food that involves peanut butter? Reese’s. 

International Day of Education: Why do you feel that education important? There’s a lot of benefits to being educated. It helps you gain knowledge about the world around you, helps you build and form opinions, make better, well-informed decisions on certain things, helps you learn skills that will be beneficial for you... there’s a lot of reasons.

Global Belly Laugh Day: When’s the last time you laughed so hard you cried? It’s been a long time since I’ve had a good laugh like that.

National Eskimo Pie Patent Day: When’s the last time you had an Eskimo Pie? I’ve never had one.

National Lobster Thermidor Day: When’s the last time you ate lobster? I don’t eat lobster. Or any seafood.

Jan 25. National Opposite Day: Have you ever been attracted to someone that was the complete opposite of you? Yes.

Community Manager Appreciation Day: At your workplace, do you have a good manager/boss, or not? Are you your own boss? I don’t have a job.

National Irish Coffee Day: Have you ever had an Irish Coffee before? Nope.

National Seed Swap Day: What’s the last seed you planted? I’ve never planted any seeds.

National Florida Day: Do you know anyone who is from Florida? Not personally, but a few YouTubers I watch are.

Chinese New Year: What is your Chinese animal? (the year of the ___) Snake.

Burns Supper: Favorite poem by Robert Burns? I don’t think I’m familiar with his work.

Jan 26. National Green Juice Day: Do you drink any sort of health drinks? Nope. 

National Peanut Brittle Day: Do you enjoy peanut brittle? Nah, it’s too hard.

National Spouses Day: Do you hope to get married one day? Why or why not? I don’t plan on getting married.

Australia Day: If you were to go to Australia, what would you want to see/do first? I’d probably want to go to Sydney. 

International Customs Day: What do you think of the current level of border security in your area? Uhhh.

World Leprosy Day: Do you know anyone who has leprosy? No.

Jan 27. National Bubble Wrap Day: As an adult, would you still be interested in popping bubble wrap? Um, absolutely! You’re never too old for bubblewrap. 

National Chocolate Cake Day: Do you prefer chocolate cake or another flavor instead? I much prefer white, funfetti, strawberry, or red velevet.

World Breast Pumping Day: If you have a baby, would you breastfeed or formula feed? Why? I’m not having kids.

International Holocaust Remembrance Day: Do you know of any Holocaust survivors? Eli Wiesel, the author of Night, a book about his horrifying experience during the Holocaust and in Nazi concentration camps, came to talk to my sophomore English class.

Wolfgang Mozart’s Birthday: Do you like to listen to Mozart? I have an appreciation for a lot of piano pieces.

Punch the Clock Day: Do you have to punch in and out at work, or do you have a paper time sheet? I don’t have a job.

Jan 28. National Have Fun at Work Day: What is one fun thing about your work?

National Blueberry Pancake Day: Would you rather have blueberry pancakes or chocolate chip pancakes? Blueberry.

Data Privacy Day: Have one of your websites ever been hacked before? Yes, back in the day.

National Daisy Day: Are daisies your favorite flower? No, but they are pretty.

National Lego Day: Do you follow the building instructions if you have a Lego kit, or do you build your own prototype? I haven’t played with Legos since I was a kid, but I just made my own things for the most part. I do remember attempting to make some of the things they showed on the container the Legos came in.

National Kazoo Day: Have you ever played a kazoo before? Nope.

National Plan For Vacation Day: Where would you like to go on vacation? A lot of places. I wish I could just go on a vacation at all right now. :(

Global Community Engagement Day: How do you play a part in your community? Uhhh. I’m not involved in any community things.

Jan 29. National Corn Chip Day: Fritos or Tostitos? Both are good.

National Puzzle Day: How many pieces was the last jigsaw puzzle that you completed? I have no idea, I haven’t done a puzzle since I was a kid. I’ve actually been wanting to do one recently, though.

Jan 30. National Croissant Day: What do you like to put on your croissant? They’re just good on their own.

National Inane Answering Message Day: Do you leave voicemails, or do you hang up and try again later? If I’m calling my doctor I might leave a voicemail, but usually I’ll just try again later. I hate leaving voicemails, though. If I’m calling my parents, I’ll just call again or send them a text.

Jan 31. Inspire Your Heart With Art Day: What form of art would you be most likely to try your hand at? I like to color, but that’s as artsy as it gets for me.

National Backward Day: Can you walk around backwards without tripping over something? Well, I can wheel backwards.

National Hot Chocolate Day: Do you like hot chocolate? Do you prefer a certain flavor? Yes. I just like the regular kind with marshmallows and whipped cream.

National Big Wig Day: What type of job would you like to have that allows you to be in charge? I wouldn’t want to be in charge.

Eat Brussel Sprouts Day: Do you like Brussel sprouts? Nooo.

Brandy Alexander Day: Do you like to drink brandy? Nope. I don’t drink alcohol.

National Weeks

Folic Acid Awareness Week: Do you know anyone with a congenital disability? Yes.

Universal Letter Writing Week: When’s the last time you hand-wrote a letter to someone? I don’t even remember.

Diet Resolution Week: Have you ever gone on a diet before because of someone’s comments about your weight? Yeah, but it was to try and gain weight because I’m too thin. 

National Silent Record Week: Have you ever listened to a silent record before? No.

National Pizza Week: What do you like to eat on your pizza? White sauce, feta and ricotta cheese, spinach, garlic, crumbled meatballs, and pesto drizzled on top.

Home Office Safety and Security Week: Does your home have a security system? Yes.

Cuckoo Dancing Week: Do you like to dance? Sure. Well, by dance I mean head bobbing and maybe moving my arms and shoulders a bit. Oh, and sad attempts at TikTok dances haha.

World Kiwanis Week: Do you know what the Kiwani’s Club revolves around? No.

National Mocktail Week: What’s your favorite mocktail? When I was a kid I liked virgin strawberry margaritas. This one restaurant my family and I often went to had them for kids and they were so good.

Hunt For Happiness Week: Where do you find your happiness? At the beach watching the waves crash in and out, smelling the ocean air, and feeling that nice, cool breeze. I just get lost in it and it’s really relaxing.

National Healthy Weight Week: Do you feel that you are a healthy weight? Why or why not? No, I’m not. I’m underweight.

International Snowmobile Safety & Awareness Week: Have you ever ridden on a snowmobile before? Nope.

No Name-Calling Week: What’s the worst name you’ve ever been called? Who knows what people have said or thought about me that I’m not aware of, nor do I want to know, but the only things I know of are the things I’ve said and think about myself. I’m my own worst enemy.

International Hoof Care Week: Do you like any animals that have hooves? Giraffes. <3

National Catholic Schools Week: Did you ever go to a Catholic school before? No.

National CRNA Week: Have you ever been put under anesthesia before? How were you when you came out of it? Yeah, several times. I always felt sick, groggy, and really cold afterwards.

Meat Week: What’s your favorite type of meat? Or are you a vegetarian/vegan? Chicken.

National School Choice Week: Would you have preferred to be in a public school, a private school, or to be homeschooled? I was fine with public school.

National Cowboy Poetry Gathering Week: Do you know anyone who is a cowboy? Nope.

National Months

National Hot Tea Month: What’s your favorite flavor tea? Chamomile, peppermint, and spearmint.

National Oatmeal Month: What’s your favorite flavor of oatmeal? I like regular oatmeal with condensed milk, brown sugar, and cinnamon. 

National Slow Cooking Month: Do you have a crock-pot? Well, my mom does, but yeah.

National Soup Month: What’s your favorite kind of soup? I’m a ramen gal.

National Baking Month: What’s your favorite thing to bake? If I bake it’s going to be cupcakes or muffins. It’s been awhile since I’ve baked anything, though.

National Fat Free Living Month: Do you eat foods that are fat-free? How about drinks? Not usually.

National Bath Safety Month: Do you prefer baths or showers? Showers. I have’t taken a bath since I was a kid.

National Blood Donor Month: Have you ever donated blood? When was the last time? No.

National Hobby Month: Do you have any hobbies? Doing surveys, reading, and coloring. 

National Train Your Dog Month: Is your dog well-trained? Yeah.

Walk Your Pet Month:  How often do you walk your dog, if you have one? I can’t do that, but my dad or brother take her.

National CBD Month: Have you ever used CBD oil? Nope.

National Black Diamond Month: Do you own anything with diamonds – black or regular? No.

National Mentoring Month: Have you ever had a mentor before? No.

National Menudo Month: Have you ever had menudo before? Nope. It doesn’t sound appealing to me.

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