#like a bubblegum spin-off of

[titan-senpai]

What the hell?? Pt.2

A young lady who was a model lived on earth ended in a tragic way.. and ended up in hell somehow? While she cant hurt a fly.. Right?

Warning!!: Cursing, Smoking, Drinking.

Part 1.

" Welcome to the Vees my dear.." Vellvette said smiling, taking lipstick from her pocket. "Pucker up" I bent down to her height as she put that dark shade of lipstick on me " Now your ready." She smirked putting the lipstick away and grabbing a different phone from bag

"I never got your name" She typed away on the phone chewing bubblegum.

" It's Y/N.." she typed some more. " I made you a social media account" Throwing an object that looks like a phone at me. " It's the latest Hellphone.. enjoy it." She smiled. " Pose dear" She pulled out her phone pointing it at the mirror. As i leaned into her smiling.

" Posted!" She typed away. "Let's get you back to val and vox." I nodded following her to another room that looked like another office.

I felt my phone go off like crazy, opening an app called Sinstagram? opening my account Darling_Y/N? seeing 200K followers in a minute? Looking at the tagged post.

-Say Hello to our new play thing.. Y/N <3 @ Darling_Y/N

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"Good Afternoon, My name is Katie Killjoy." " And i'm Tom Trench"

"This afternoon we've got some SPICY gossip about the Overlords." Katie said, showing her spiky smile.

"but also tonight we will have a speech by Lucifer Himself! with the one and only Princess of Hell Charlie." Tom said putting some papers aside. "Stay tuned for more!" She smiled. The camera cutting off " Were done here Bitch." She cursed.

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"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE VEL?!" Vox yelled angrily, destroying a tv in the process.

" Chill Gramps." It's just a post." She laughed taking a seat patting the chair next to her. " A SMALL POST?! SHE'S GOING VIRAL IT'S BEEN 4 MINUTES!" he yelled more. " At Least She's trending." she said as i took a seat next to her.

"Have you figured out what your talent is?" Val Stood across me smoking some more. i nodded showing my hands as they lit up. Making a dress out of thin air. "That's quite interesting.." Val walked closer holding the object... Vox calmed down.

" Can you make lingerie?" Val smiled.

"i can try?" I made a white set with angel wings..

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"Hey Y/N you ready for the runway?" The staff said. Fixing my hair and the cast putting the finishing touches of my makeup. "Yes." I walked to the stage curtain in full confidence " You're on in 3..2..1!" As she said that, I walked to the stage of the Victoria's secret angels catwalk.

Walking around in full confidence smiling at the camera posing and giving the camera a kiss and a wave. walking back spinning around taking one last pose as I walked to the curtain behind screens.

staff helping me take off the heavy wings off as they slip a robe around me, walking to the lounge for the models grabbing a smoothie. as i heard more heels clank around me. " hey Y/N right?" A voice said behind me. Turning around revealing a gorgeous woman with brown wavy hair with full lips. " My name is Adriana" She smiled while grabbing a drink. She had amazing face, Body and posture. I wish i was more like her.

"I loved your walk by the way" She checked her phone. "Thank you! It's such an honor meeting you" I smiled mentally slapping myself for saying that. " No, it's my pleasure. I've been seeing you alot these days, you're going to be a great kid." She waved giving me an air kiss. I walked to my changing room putting my drink down hearing moans in the bathroom. "Honey?" I took off my heels slipping on fuzzy slippers. walking closer to the bathroom that wasn't locked leaning my ear on the door.

"What if we get caught.." A woman said "She won't. just focus on me" that voice.. I kicked the door open. " What's going on here?" I stood there shocked to see my boyfriend shirtless with a model. "how could you Kyara.." I pulled her by her hair away from him. " Ow ow owowow-" she yelled as I dragged her by her hair out of my changing room. " Just you wait.." I closed the door and locked it.

" Let me explain, dear.." He put his hands up. " No explanation. Leave.. were done." I yelled angrily. as heels clanked behind me. yelling at him. turning around to look at the sound as Kyara my best friend was holding a crowbar as my boyfriend held me still 

before i knew it i woke up in hell..

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[crushmeeren]

❆ Master List Link

♡ Everyone involved in this aged up/18+.

❆ Note; JUST a reminder that this work involves ⋆ * CONSENSUAL ⋆ * drunk sex, enjoy. [ FEM READER ]

It’s late Christmas Eve, although technically it’s really early Christmas morning. It’s close to 2:00 am when you and Megumi stumble in through your front door. You’re a bit too loud, a bit too clumsy, and you’re giggling at every single stupid joke that comes out of your boyfriend’s mouth.

It’s too fucking hot in your home and as soon as Megumi can get the front door shut and locked with his wobbly fingers, you peel off your coat. There’s a layer of chilly sweat covering your arms and you fling the jacket carelessly onto the back of your couch as you pass by. You brace a hand on the wall, letting it guide you as you attempt to shuffle one foot in front of the other just to get to your bed.

Your cheeks are practically little balls of flame and and sweat annoyingly beads on your forehead. A dull throbbing starts up behind your eyes. It’s like an ice pick to the temple, not to mention your limbs lag as if in a video game and you have to squint to see anything.

You vaguely make out the sound of Megumi tripping behind you and slamming his shoulder against the door frame on his way down the hall. He lets out a whiny “ow,” and you can’t help but giggle.

“Careful Gumi.” The words come out only slightly slurred as you flip the light on. He snickers in response and hums in agreement.

“Oops,” he whispers cutely, but you’re not sure why he is. The dark haired man was obnoxiously loud a mere 10 minutes ago.

Your mind refocuses on the singular task of shedding off your suffocating clothes right the fuck now. So you do, even slipping off your panties, because why the fuck do you feel like you’re boiling in a soup right now?

Either way, you manage to get completely nude and face plant into your soft sheets. Your head spins at the abrupt change in direction and you groan. You lift your head up slowly and begin inching your way to your beloved pillow and flop down on it ungraciously.

A soft sigh of relief spills out of you once you finally stay still and the cool air from the air conditioner dances over your back. You seem to remember you’re not alone and try not to feel nauseous as you twist your neck to look at Megumi, curious as to what he’s doing.

You watch him pop out from under his crew neck sweatshirt, only in his black boxer briefs now. All his pale skin is on display and the lean muscles of his stomach clench as he twists to get the shirt off.

A thick warmth swirls in your belly instantaneously and the only thoughts filling the space in your brain and pushing at your skull is how attracted to him you truly are.

“Megumi….c’mere, please,” you request, words muffled by the pillow. His eyes widen when he trails his eyes over your naked frame. Megumi stares at the curve of your ass for too long before his gaze flits back to yours.

His cheeks are dusted bubblegum pink, his eyes hazy, but he sends you a dopey smile and nods half heartedly. He barely remembers to turn the light off.

You can’t see where he’s at in the dark but then he’s slipping under the blanket and pulling you under until he can comfortably press his too warm frame to yours. His arms settle around your waist from behind and he shoves a leg between your thighs, digging his chilly toes under your outstretched calf.

Your pussy aches when you realize he’s lost his briefs and his half hard cock is pushing into your lower back.

He’s so soft and slender fingers tickle the skin of your ribs and you just really want him inside you right fucking now. Fire blazes through your belly and it’s not from the alcohol you consumed.

Your heart thunders against your rib cage and you tug on his wrist urgently.

“Megumi,” you murmur. “Want you so bad, can we have sex? Please?” Your thighs clench tight around the knee in between your legs. Megumi’s arm squeezes your waist, breath catching.

“You sure sweetheart?” He whispers, low voice husky in your ear. Still, he slides his hand down your stomach, through the patch of curly hair below your belly button and places two deft fingers on your clit. He circles it slowly, tight and precise as a shiver shakes down your spine.

“Yeah,” you breathe. “C’mon baby.”

You reach a hand down to hold his wrist, not stopping him but wanting to feel the way his bones shift as he teases your clit.

He doesn’t hesitate, he lays you out on your back and slides in between your legs, settling on his calves. His cock is hot and full when it drags over your thigh, precum slick on your skin.

You wrap your fingers around his shaft when he plants his hands by your head. You drag the warm tip through the lips of your pussy and you both moan desperately. Megumi apparently can’t help himself either, because all at once he’s shoving his cock inside you and wrenching a gasp from your chest.

“Fuck! Megumi!” The raw stretch is intense, setting your blood alight and you dig your nails into his shoulders from the slight ache in your pelvis.

“Baby,” Megumi whines, voice high pitched and breathy as hell. As if he needs more, as if he’s overwhelmed with the desire to fuck you into the mattress but he’s hanging on for your sake. He lowers his head and buries his face in your neck, snaking his arms under your back and over your shoulders to grip tightly.

“Go ahead Megumi, it’s okay,” you murmur, lacing your fingers into his pitch black hair and holding his face securely to your throat. He pulls his hips back shallowly before thrusting back in.

The whole world starts to move in slow motion with him, your brain turning to mush as Megumi rolls his hips and drags his cock in and out smoothly. Your thighs fall open so he can move easier and he digs his nails into your shoulders and presses plush lips to your neck.

Megumi moves fluidly, tilting his hips up so he can strike your g-spot with each thrust and you cry out his name like a chant.

Megumi huffs into your throat, warming your skin and you tug brutally on his hair until he hisses. He throws his weight into his thrusts, not any swifter, but enough to get you even more cock drunk than you were.

“Sweetheart,” Megumi pants. “You’ve gotta cum, you’re so tight and I-I’m going to cum,” he all but whines. You nod and then your eyes are rolling back in your head when he starts snapping his hips frantically.

The added sensation of your nipples sliding over his sweat slick chest pushes you to the edge. He whispers about how much he loves you, begging you to cum on his cock and you can’t take it.

Your pussy flutters, the ominous knot that had built up behind your pelvis shattering as you cum. Your mouth opens in a silent scream as your entire body goes taut and you turn your face into his cheek as he works you through it. Megumi moans throatily.

“Oh. Oh god. Oh my god, I’m gonna cum.”

Your muscles relax one by one as he babbles, becoming pliant underneath him as he continues to rock against you. Megumi whines and then he’s pressing into your pussy to the hilt while his cock jerks and he fills you with sticky warm cum.

You both lay there for several minutes, chests heaving in tandem to attempt and catch your breath. Megumi’s forehead digs at your sternum and you scratch at his scalp affectionately. Unfortunately your head is still fuzzy and you’re sure you’re about to pass out due to how content you feel.

You’re reminded how much you love Megumi when he tries to be somewhat coherent enough to turn you both on your sides so you face each other. Megumi pulls your soft blanket up to cover your waists and settles in on his pillow.

Neither of you make a move to clean up. Instead you lazily slip a leg over his waist and his warm palm meets your thigh instinctually. Megumi kisses your forehead and you hang on to consciousness long enough for the two of you to exchange I love you’s.

You’ll deal with the mess in the morning.

[despairots]

could you do a story where miles from earth-42 and our miles are twins and we cant decide which one we like better as we like both of them? you can write the story however you want to!

━━━━━━━━ if i were you, i’d do me.

earth1610! miles morales x gn! hacker! reader x earth42! miles morales. fluff and if you like squint really really hard you’ll find angst. 18 and above please dni, unless your my moot or something… i forgot to change my requests to open but u can send me requests (only abt atsv) just like be patient cuz im daydreaming and shit 🙏

pls ignore the title its nothing suggestive i was braindead and was listening to my saved audios on tiktok this was thw first one on my saved so el oh el 🤕 i gotta keep my writing grind up. keep in mind that earth 1610 miles will keep beinf spiderman and earth 42 will keep being prowler. if y dont know sliver wolf from hsr, switch her up cuz reader is heavily based off of her

this’ll be left on a cliffhanger cuz like idk i just dont wanna make another part and sometimes things are better off with cliffhangers since you guys have creative minds you can come up with your own scenarios

where in a dimension, earth42 and earth1610 miles morales are twins, may look the same but have completely different hairstyles and different personalities also another weird, interesting fact, you’re a sucker for twins, especially them.

interesting fact about you, specifically you, is that you almost got caught by the government when hacking into their system to steal some information.

and of course, them having connections to spiderman, told him to go after this hacker who causes a lot of trouble for the government.

miles morales obviously being under that mask and friends with this hacker who knew that you hated authority (yes, you’re an anarchist), didn’t bother doing anything, probably just telling you to stop messing with them.

on the other hand, his twin bother, myles morales, encourages this behaviour. polar opposites but two cuties, and you, who got roped into romance with them.

“[name], what’d i say about hacking the government?” miles scolded you as you chewed on bubblegum with your feet propped onto your desk, holographic screens in front of you.

“i don’t know, me forgot.” you nonchalantly shrugged, spinning your chair to go back to your screens and swiping left to play the weeknd.

miles spinning you back and placing his arms on your arm rests, too close to your liking.

you smirked with a light scoff, “your brother likes it.” miles rolls his eyes at the mention of him, “i don’t care what he likes.” he snapped back, obviously lying.

miles leaned back with a sigh, “god, what am i gonna do with you?” “maybe get off my ass.” you muttered, not knowing if miles heard that, to which he did.

“i’m sorry, what?”

you jumped at that, quickly shooting your arms up and trying to find excuses, opening your mouth like a fish.

your voice’s overlapped eachother, unable to hear his twin brother opening the door to your room, mask off and everything.

he looked at you who kept stumbling on words.

miles spider sense went off and looked at the entrance, seeing the one guy who encourages your behaviour, “what - what did you tell them?” myles smirked and shrugged.

“i didn’t say anything, bro.” he placed his claws on your bed and sat down on it, “i am not your bro.” miles chuckled and sat down on your bean bag.

“um actually-“

“shut up.”

“cope.” you playfully stuck your tongue out at miles who smiled and rolled his eyes, god you loved his smile. i mean, what?

you don’t love them, boo, you hate them.

“dude, tell [name] that if i don’t catch the ‘hacker’ i’m gonna get my ass kicked.” miles and his brother made eye contact, “i hope you do.” myles replied with a playful tone.

miles threw his hands up, “you guys are actually evil.” you laughed at his comment, “we’re actually vigilantes.” myles pointed out, patting his brother’s shoulder (the bean bag literally beside your bed).

you smiled at the two with light pigment on your cheeks, “i really wanna kiss you guys—“ you paused your sentence with embarrassment, realizing you were saying your thoughts out loud.

the two paused and looked at you, blinking, “eso es adorable, amor—“ “get out.”

“¿qué dijiste, amor?”

“i hate you guys. kill yourselves. espero que te resbales y te caigas en tu próxima misión.” you rolled your eyes and buried your face into your hands as the two twins looked at eachother.

“you don’t mean that, amor.” you groaned at the nickname the two labelled you. it made you want to giggle, twirl your hair and kick your feet like a schoolgirl.

you blushed when you felt an arm sneak around your neck, hugging you against your chair with their head beside your ear, “te gustamos los dos, ¿verdad, amor?”

god, you couldn’t choose between the two.

[name] when they keep getting teased and literally cannot deal with it.

[2-dsimp]

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Yandere Spin-offs

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Introducing Icha the cult leader

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Yandere cult leader! Icha who holds rituals towards his god Eros to ensure that y’all’s souls are destined to be tied down together forever in the present and in each lifetime.

Yandere cult leader! Icha who’s usually snarky and foul mouthed on the outside. But is actually calm and pragmatic when he dawns his cult garbs and preaches to his followers how they had to pray to Eros in order to fulfill their pure hearted desires of claiming their soulmate as theirs.

Yandere cult Leader! Icha who resembles a prickly chihuahua whenever you’re not around for him to blatantly fawn over. He’ll snap at anyone and anything since he’s got a very short temperament and is prone to getting violent.

Yandere cult Leader! Icha that has a long history of anger management issues stemming from a ripe age. Where it was documented that he first punched a hole into the wall. Before ruthlessly assaulting a random boy who gave flowers to you before he even got the chance to.

Yandere cult Leader! Icha who’s a total homebody and looks as if he doesn’t work out much with his tall lanky limbs. Rest assured he’s got a sleeper build which helps him in taking care of his ritual sacrifices (His love rivals) in the name of obtaining your love under the jurisdiction of his god Eros.

Yandere cult Leader! Icha who’s such a gentleman whenever it comes to taking care of his darling. He’ll open the doors for you, send you flowers/favorite snacks, write love poems, and promise to never ever leave your side even in death. (Literally)

Yandere cult Leader! Icha that actively vandalizes your things. Drawing ritual like symbols in discreet spots upon your bags, hairbrushes, clothes, and even the back of your phone case. He swears he’s not trying to bully you, it’s just a simple incantation meant to attract you towards and ward off any potential suitors who dare to waste your time via unexplainable deaths.

Yandere cult Leader! Icha who speaks with a harsh stutter and acts like a love drunk fool in your proximity. He’s an awful klutz to the point where he’d always trip and fall over himself due to his eyes being so focused on over analyzing every bit your gorgeous figure.

Yandere cult Leader! Icha that collects anything belonging to you that you’ve thrown out. such as your trinkets, broken pens, used hair ties, clothes you thought to donate, your used empty body wash, and even bubblegum of which you chewed and spat out in the foil wrapper.

Yandere cult leader! Icha who’s so nasty thinking nothing of it when he opens the wrapper to chew the gum savoring the taste of your saliva. Even going as far as to roll the gum under his tongue and leave it there to marinate so he could fully relish in yalls indirect French kiss.

Yandere cult Leader! Icha who spends his time meditating manifestation spells. Trying to summon you out of thin air so he could trap you in his lap and coddle you like the precious babe you are. Making sure to spoil you rotten with his affectionate gestures of love.

Yandere cult Leader! Icha who worship his shrine of you alongside his god Eros. Always paying homage to how you made his heart palpitate with every glance and smile you threw his way. Even if you were just trying to be nice and hardly even knew of his existence.

Yandere cult Leader! Icha who’s not above thinking of kidnapping you and stowing you away within the confines of his basement should his god demand to see progress of his love for you bearing fruit (which is Him having a delulu monologue between him and his god basically encouraging him to act on his selfish desires and monopolize you whole in the name of his pure love for you, his sweet lamb.)

[imagineredwood]

1. Cake 🍰

Summary: Angel is more than happy to help you bake a Valentine's day cake. Eating cake is his favorite.

Pairing: Angel Reyes x female reader

Warnings: 18+ implied sexual content

Word count: 738

A/N: Are y’all gonna be pissed that I ended it here? Yes. Will I do it again? Also yes 💀

"Ok, now…uh…two cups of flour."

Angel nodded and grabbed the measuring cup, scooping the cup full and then leveling it off just like you had shown him. He dumped the first cup into the mixing bowl and then did it again, slowly so he wouldn't make a huge mess again. You had already wiped up the flour from both the counter and your shirt.

"Ok. That was the last step. Now we just wait until it's completely mixed and then we can dye it."

Angel beamed, childlike joy in his eyes as he snatched up the bottle of pink food coloring.

"Been waiting the whole time just for this part."

You smiled, agreeing wholeheartedly. Angel popped the lid and then leaned over, watching as the last of the flour mixed in with the wet ingredients.

"Now?"

You nodded, leaning forward with him to look into the bowl, ready to watch the pretty colors swirling yourself.

"Now."

Angel squeezed the bottle gently, a few drops plopping down onto the surface of the batter. You both stared into the bowl, watching as the mixer turned the batter into the lightest of pinks then brighter and brighter until it was the perfect shade of pink for your cake.

"Good eye."

Angel grinned, leaning over to kiss your cheek.

"Thank you."

You turned to face him with a smile, leaning closer to him and puckering your lips for another kiss. He was more than happy to indulge you, pressing his lips against yours and kissing you slowly. Once twice, then three times. He pulled away much to your disappointment and smirked at the sound of your whine.

"Aw, what's the matter? Poor baby needs more kisses?"

You fluttered your eyelashes, reaching to turn off the stand mixer before placing your hands flat on his chest.

"Yes. Yes, I do."

The Mayan chuckled and leaned down, his lips hovering mere centimeters from your lips. His breath was warm as it ghosted over your lips.

"Well, then we better hurry up and put this cake to bake."

Your pout was pronounced as you huffed, hands making quick work to unscrew the bowl from the stand and start pouring the batter into the heart-shaped cake pan. The bubblegum-colored batter rippled into the pan as it filled, Angel's hands coming to rest on your hips, tugging you back into him. He wasn't sure if the tiny hitch in your breath was from the feeling of him hard against you, or from the shock of his rings freezing the tiny sliver of skin peaking out right between your top and waistline.

His fingers held and kneaded the plush flesh beneath them, his pulse quickening. You hurriedly tapped the pan onto the countertop, pushing any bubbles to the top before turning around in Angel's arms.

"Just gotta get it in the oven."

You thanked your lucky stars that you had been proactive enough to actually preheat the over this time and just put it on and then have to wait. You opened the oven door and leaned forward, sliding the pan onto the rack carefully before standing back up and closing the door. You turned to face Angel then, arms reaching for his waist when he sucked his teeth at you.

"Forgetting something?"

You grumbled and pulled away, grabbing your phone and starting a timer for 30 minutes, eyes hungry as you looked back up at him.

"Anything else, your majesty?"

Angel laughed at your sarcasm, the sound husky.

"Nah. I prefer Sir though."

You swallowed and he stepped closer to you, hand coming up to cradle the side of your face, his calloused thumb running over the swell of your bottom lip.

"How long we got before that timer goes off?"

"Thirty."

Angel shrugged, hands coming to grip your waist, moving your body against the counter where he wanted you before spinning you around, his hand on the back of your neck pushing you to lay flat, bent over the counter. His hands made quick work of pulling your heart-covered pjs down over your ass until they pooled at your ankles, your red panties following. He dropped to his knees behind you and pressed a small kiss to your left cheek, also giving a quick nip at the skin. He grinned at your little squeak and used both hands to spread you open, his mouth watering as he looked at you.

"Even fuckin' prettier than the cake."

General taglist

@piccasoe @ateliefloresdaprimavera @gemini0410 @woahitslucyylu @my-rosegold-soul @that-chick212 @everyhowlmarksthedead @glimmerglittergirl  @fanaticfangurl21 @encounterthepast  @svintsandghosts @starrynite7114   @destynelseclipsa  @queenbeered @iamthegraham @emoengelfurleben  @otomefromtheheart @rosieposie0624 @papa-geralt-of-cirilla @beeroses @weirdosandhopelessromantics @kola95 @black-repunzel99 @xonickibaby @cruzwalters @myakai13 @mrsstevenbuchananstark @lyly00 @kaystacks17 @cole-winchester  @alexxavicry  @savagemickey03  @fanfic-n-tabulous   @gangstaliciou06

Mayans MC taglist

@dazzledamazon​  @abunnykisses​ @briana-mishell24​  @wrcn9fvlcver​  @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @krysiewithak​  @appropriate-writers-name​  @blessedboo​  @megapeacelovemusic-blog​ @emoengelfurleben​ @blowmymbackout​ @abby-splace​ @kola95​ @black-repunzel99​ @redpoodlern​  @myakai13​

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[baitsharklton]

Finn Mertens x F! Reader; Line Without A Hook

In honor of the new Fiona and Cake show dropping! This is probably really dumb and lame but, I can only try.

—

Y/n giggled profusely, her insides feeling set ablaze since Finn had grabbed her hand and took off into the treehouse the second he opened the door, pulling her body flush to his.

He lifted her, arms held to her gum sides as he started to spin her relishing in the sound of her laughter.

“Y/N!” He screamed, a smile on his face so wide, his face was sure to hurt. He couldn’t help it, after all, he hadn’t seen his friend in a week.

Y/n replied with a scream of his name, her giggling increasing, though deep down, she knew how this was going to go. It was always the same after all.

He’d call her over when no one else was there, they’d watch movies, cuddle, she’d play with his hair, sometimes if he was feeling ever so bold, he’d offer to rub her back and relieve the sore muscles.

It wasn’t hard to figure out why he was so keen to get close to her, she was Y/n Bubblegum, the sister of her crush’s crush.

Yet while Finn swears that he doesn’t simply want to be around her because it could make him closer to P.B, or that he cares about Y/n and isn’t simply relying on her for emotional comfort the blonde boy would sometimes grab her hand, or cuddle her when they’re alone, close his eyes and just for a moment, a simple second, imagine it was P.B, but that was all, according to him at least.

That’s not who he is, he’s Finn Mertens, he’s a hero.

Sure, sometimes there would be a pang of guilt in his chest, or a fire would flicker in his stomach when she gave him a sweet smile.

However, Y/n was his friend, and as cool as she is, she’s just not P.B.

Y/n quickly peaked around for Jake, assuring herself of what side of Finn she was seeing, before she continued her mild ministering of affection.

“So, Jake is at Lady’s?” She mused with a raised brow “Only asking for me with an empty tree, Mertens ? Do you need a cuddle sesh ?”

Finn rolled his eyes with, a now sarcastic, smile. “I was just away in a dungeon crawl for a week, am I not allowed a cuddle sesh ?”

Another laugh slipped through her lips and the gum-girl fell back on the couch and pat her tummy, signaling for him to follow suit.

Finn fell onto her and cuddled against her, and she began to slowly caress his back to soothe him.

“Why am I never allowed to be affectionate with you when people are around?” Y/n hummed slowly, she wasn’t sure why she asked, she wasn’t even sure why she allowed herself to give in and show him this kind of affection.

She knew how he felt about her sister, was even there when he met and broke up with Flame Princess. Y/n remembered how she felt when they were younger and Bonnie herself had turned young.

Watching Finn fall further in love with her sister, and pull himself away from her. The way it felt to watch him fawn over Bonnie. The ripping burning pain in her chest as she sobbed, as it felt like her body could barely contain it.

The way she smiled and excused herself from playing her favorite video game on BMO in the treehouse, and barely made it halfway down the ladder before sobs began to try and escape.

She remembered taking off down the hill with bare feet, falling to her knees and finally letting it all out.

Jake had comforted her that day. He wrapped her in a squoze, and mumbled to her how wonderful she was, and that if Finn can’t see that he’s banana bonkers.



She remembered how hard it was to get over him, how she found solace in Braco, a suitor for her sister who took his father’s place in line when he passed.

Bonnie had called her into her lab and told her the situation, she asked Y/n to help him find joy in other things.

Y/n remembered the way they ran through the kindgdom, trying different food spots, how he made some small jokes when he was comfortable and made her laugh.

They ran throughout the kingdom even during the night, when she took him away to her favorite cliff, how they laid in the grass and watched the stars.

How he looked at her.

“Y/n,” he had mumbled “you’re very different from the princess.”

She had furrowed her brows in confusion “Is that bad? I’m sorry if I disappointed you.” She whispered, feeling ashamed momentarily, yet for the millionth time, less than her sister.

Branco’s face lit up in realization and he sat up on his elbow, looking at her in amazement “Are you serious? No! Y/n you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, your sister would have never even given me a chance, yet you came and showed me the kingdoms wonders, you never even gave up on me when I was being mega lame.”

Branco sat up, then helped Y/n sit up, taking her hands gingerly. “Y/n Bubblegum, you are absolutely wonderful, and if anyone can’t see that they are banana bonkers.”

Y/n couldn’t help it, she found this man absolute wonderful. Without a second thought, she had leaned forward and kissed him.

Later on, about two weeks later, he had left her.

For a clone of her sister.

It was Finn who had comforted her, who had told her she was wonderful. That was how they wound up in their current situation. He would allow her to be as affectionate as she wanted with him, only if they were alone.

Finn looked up at her, pulling off his hat and lightly scratching his scalp. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, Finn,” The way he was looking at her, it felt scrutinizing, it made her feel self conscious. She hated it.

She used her arms to slide herself back, she hugged her legs to herself, she tucked her face to her legs. “Ugh, I just,”

“What?” Finn was starting to feel confused, he just wanted a cuddle sesh.

“Finn do you know what it’s like for me when you leave ? When you were crying over PB? When you sang a song for her?” Y/n stood up now, hands raking through her hair, she couldn’t contain it anymore.

“Y/n?” He mumbled, he wasn’t sure where this was going, but his face felt flushed.

“Did you know I got melted for you? You were crying over Bonnie and fawning over your new love interest and I got melted because I wanted to protect you! Then I get over you and you just pull me back, then when you’re in love again you just forget me!” Y/n began to cry slightly “Then you leave and I’m alone again, hoping you’ll just notice me.”

Finn frowned “I didn’t know you felt this way, I’m sorry Y/n, you’re wonderful and all it’s just, I don’t know.” He ran his fingers through his hair again and furrowed his brows trying to think of the way to describe it. “You and Bonnie are just, I don’t know, different.”

Y/n froze, staring at him, her eyes locking on Finn for a moment. “What?”

Finn’s eyes went wide “But that’s not bad, it’s good, I don’t mean,”

“No, no. I get it. She’s smart, she’s pretty, she’s in control. I’m not, I’m just the little sister, right ?” Y/n smiled, wiping her eyes. Why cry? What was she expecting? A love confession? She’s not smart, but she’s smart enough to know better.

Finn stood up to stop her as she walked towards the ladder “No, Y/n that’s not what I meant, you’re not, not those things it’s just, I don’t know you’re just not enough of those things I guess?”

“Finn just, please, leave me alone. I get it, you never liked me, you just liked my affection, right?” Y/n mused, climbing down and brushing past him and taking off toward the door, stopping for a moment.

She felt like a burden, like someone who had told herself that he has to like her, right ? He was showing her this attention, but maybe she was overthinking it. She was just delusional. She was nothing like her sister, or like Phoebe, she wasn’t pretty, she wasn’t badass, sure she swung a mean hammer, but she was nothing at all compared to the two women.

But she also didn’t want to let go of Jake and BMO yet, as much as she wanted to push Finn away.

“I’ll see you around Mertens.”

That night Finn had a dream with the Cosmic Owl. He was with Y/n on a ship, they were laughing and talking at first.

Then he felt her hand on his face, gently tracing it, and she leaned in to kiss him.

He panicked and spouted out some nonsense he could barely understand, something along the lines of “You’re not Bubblegum, you’re nothing at all like her.”

His words turned into ropes, wrapping around Y/n, restraining her, finally he said “You’re just not enough.”

Then, with that, she fell into the ocean, drowning in the icy blue water.

Finn was stuck

I’m place, watching her form sink lower until it was out of sight, he tried to break free, to scream for her, but it was useless, and no words would come out.

The Cosmic Owl Perched on the side of the boat, staring at him.

Finn looked at him with pleading eyes, silently begging for help, any help, something so that he could pull Y/n from her fate, even if it wasn’t real.

But the Owl simply hummed a “Was it worth it ?” Before he flew away, leaving Finn stuck.

He hadn’t seen Y/n for weeks, but BMO and Jake visited her regularly, and would frequently talk about their hangouts.

It was killing him, to hear a joke she told and wish he could hear her laughing at her own joke, he wished he could be there to see the amazing trick with her hammer Jake would awe over, to watch the little dance she does when she beats a difficult level on BMO.

He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t eat, he couldn’t think, and his chest hurt painfully as he thought of the words he couldn’t take back, the words he didn’t mean.

Finn had been away from her before, and it never had hurt him so much.

“It’s because you always knew she was going to be waiting for you man. You gotta face it Finn, you bit this one pretty big. I mean, she was crazy about you bro.” Jake had hummed as he cooked, glancing back at Finn for a moment.

“If I were her, you’d have been six feet under.” BMO had hummed, crossing his arms at Finn with a firm, disappointed look.

“I know, I know, I donked it, I totally donked it. It’s just, ever since I said it, she’s all I think about, it’s like,” he pulled his face up from the table and leaned his head on his hand in thought “it’s like we’re magnets, and I can feel her pull, but we’re just enough out of reach to connect.”

Jake made a small sound of understanding “Sounds like you like her cause you don’t have her anymore.”

Finn groaned in disagreement “No, no. I just, I think I was taking her for granted, I mean, she was my best friend, and I mean, she’s beautiful, and she’s really math, and she’s sweet and,” he sighed again, letting his head fall back to the table “and I think I really like her and donked it.”

Jake snorted softly “Finn, I love you brother but you gotta sort this junk out before you talk to her, otherwise none of us will ever see her again.”

Finn made a sound of distaste “Jake, the more I think about it, the more I think I may like her, and I don’t think she wants that from me anymore.”

BMO pat his head empathetically, making a small sound “If you like her, you should go do a big confession, and give her a kiss. That is what happens in the movies.”

Jake rolled his eyes, placing the pancakes on the table “BMO, we don’t know if he likes her.”

“Well, how do you feel about Lady ?” Finn asked as he pulled a plate to him, cutting a bite with his fork.

Jake hummed, pouring himself syrup “Well, she makes my heart fast, she makes me smile, I like spending time with her. There’s all kinds of things I feel about Lady, and trust me I can go on forever about it.”

“Well, Y/n makes me feel different?” Finn mumbled ���She always smells good, and sometimes when I’m just sitting with her doing nothing it feels like the best place in the world, and it’s like she always knows when I need something or I want something, even before I do, or something for her will just pop in my brain, like we’re telepathically linked.” Finn tapped his forehead,

“Oh! It’s like when I’m with her, it doesn’t matter what we’re doing cause it’s always fun, even if I hate it with someone else.” He rambled on, about to open his mouth to continue, trying to sort out his feelings, not realizing the red in his cheeks or the smile on his face.

Jake looked to BMO with a knowing smile, while BMO grew annoyed.

“Oh my Glob, Finn, please just go tell her you like her so I don’t have to listen to anymore of your sulking.” BMO bit sassily.

Finn smiled widely “ I like her.” He laughed as he stood, looking at his brother and robot child in disbelief and glee, feeling like he finally cracked some ancient code. “Oh my Glob! I like Y/n!” He laughed and cheered as he ran out of the treehouse.

BMO rolled his eyes “He better not donk it up again.”

Jake made a sound in agreement.

Finn ran into the Candy Kingdom as fast as he could, yelling for Y/n the entire time.

Y/n had been in the ballroom, practicing a dance with her instructor, clad in an elegant gown so that she could get a feel for the way the dress would move with the steps.

When Finn saw her, he couldn’t pull his eyes away, she was truly a princess, every step she made was full of grace, elegance and poise. She was a royal lady, and what was he ? A boy, a hero boy, but still just a boy. One who made her feel less than everything he truly was.

He swore to himself in that moment, on his honor, on his life, on Jake’s life, that he would always, always appreciate her and remember who she truly is.

The most beautiful and awesome girl he’s ever met in his life.

He took one cautious step, the sound causing Y/n to freeze and look up, shock covering her features for a moment, then she regained composure and cleared her throat.

The unclad banana guard assisting her, stopped, glancing between her and Finn with worried eyes, then dipped his head down, whispering in her ear “My lady, is anything wrong? Do you want me to ask him to leave?”

Y/n smiled softly, gently taking his hand and patting it “No thank you, Jason, you’ve been exceedingly helpful and generous, you may take a break and leave us for a few moments, I will yell if I need your immediate assistance.”

As he stepped away, Finn immediately stepped closer, but Y/n kept a stern look “Do you need something?”

She couldn’t help the ache in her heart, begging her to immediately start crying and run away, but she still cared for him deeply, and couldn’t bring herself to turn him away if he needed help.

“Just to tell you how absolutely, monumentally stupid I am for ever telling you that you weren’t enough of anything.” Finn hummed, staring at her as if she’d disappear if he looked away.

“Well, I’m glad you feel that way.” Y/n couldn’t help the smile and giggle that passed through her lips.

Finn smiled, relishing in her wonderful giggle, excited in her presence. “Y/n I like you. I really, really like you.” He admitted.

Y/n tilted her head “Do you now?”

Finn nodded “Yeah and I get it, I really really messed everything up with you, and you have all the right in the world not to believe me, but I mean it, and I will regret those stupid words every day of my life even if you forgive me.”

Y/n let out a small hum, Finn taking her hands “I just want one more chance, and if I donk this one up you can put me in the dungeon if you want.”

The gum-girl couldn’t fight back her giggles as she shifted her hands to rest around his neck “Alright,alright, hero, you can kiss your princess now, if you’d like to that is?” Y/n smiled, tilting her head to look at him curiously.

Finn smiled, his face turning red as he leaned down, pressing a gentle, long kiss to her lips, noting that while his by far weren’t the softest, in fact rather chapped and dry, hers were soft and lightly glossed.

What he noticed the most, however, was how fast his heart was beating, how when he pulled her closer he could feel her heart going as fast of his.

Other than that, simply that it was the most perfect kiss, and when she pulled away to bump her nose against his affectionately, that he would have no problem keeping his personal promise, because he is going to marry her, the most perfect girl in Ooo.

[aloysiavirgata]

Fisher King prompt: dark crescendoing to light. Daniel Waterson and his baggage come back into her now-married life; maybe by way of the autopsy table. A dark case comes across Mulder’s desk. You pick. A happy surprise at the end to bring them both out of it?

Thanks, lady.

It is the dead nurse that catches his attention. Two days back from his honeymoon, attaboys and filthy jokes and cigars and a stack of manila folders on his dust-rimed desk.

Pendrell whistles when he sees Mulder, makes a predictable playing-doctor joke. He leers as though it obscures the soulful puppy wetness of his face. As though he hasn’t noticed Dana at crime scenes before, the autumn bonfire of her hair. Her tourmaline eyes.

Mulder thumbs the band on his left ring finger, spins it a little in the cool morning light. Flips them all off with good-natured grouchiness as he makes his way to the elevator. He thinks it might be fun to be an old man, to listen to the slap of his bedroom slippers on the grocery store linoleum.

The air in his office smells like cardboard boxes, like ghosts of lo mein and forgotten pizza. Copier toner. Pencil shavings.

His wife says, “Honestly, Mulder,” and makes chicken sandwiches from dinner leftovers, makes him salads with salmon and almonds and avocados and says he needs to gain eight pounds. He’s taken to her demands like a stray cat adjusting to life indoors. He’s growing glossy and sleek, full of essential amino acids.

Full of life.

***

There is no congestion in any of the organs. No petechiae in her eyes, no blood clots in the fragile slices of brain. Lips, mouth, esophagus free of corrosion, not an aneurysm the size of a poppy seed. The bruises and claw marks on her gray throat are her own doing. There are over a dozen witnesses.

Her nails are clotted with her own crumpled skin.

Dana pokes her finger into the aorta, sniffs the dead, butcher-shop air of Ludovica’s mouth. She prods at the lungs and hunts for lesions and surfactant. The nurse’s stomach contains a half-digested bagel and tuna salad. The muscular walls are in the very pink of health. She has lungs like freshly chewed bubblegum.

Dana huffs a strand of hair off her lip. She does not want to call him.

***

“What killed her?” Mulder asks, around a mouthful leftover quiche. God it’s good. She caramelized the onions, used two semesters of organic chemistry on the pastry and can declaim on the Maillard Reaction in a voice fit for Showtime.

“I’m working on it,” his wife says, brisk. “Thus far it seems to be nothing, which is a bit of a problem, medically speaking.”

“How embarrassing,” Mulder says, hunting around for another chunk of broccoli. “To die of nothing. You talk to this Waterston chappie yet?

Silence.

“Dr. Scully?”

A sigh.

Mulder’s brow furrows. “Dana Katherine, what gives?”

She sighs again. “You remember that med school professor I told you about? Funny story…”

***

He gazes at her the way tourists gawp at the Mona Lisa; not with a particular appreciation, just a bit awed that they can check it off their bucket lists.

Twice, for Daniel. A certain chumminess. A hint of inside jokes and favorite restaurants and that-lovely-inn-we-stayed-at. Of possessiveness. Territoriality.

Mulder shakes his head, just a twitch. Just enough to clear Daniel’s smug carnal knowledge of his wife away. Mulder’s fucked people’s daughters as well. People’s wives. There was one at Oxford, Honora, her husband a full professor and he -

Mulder doesn’t say this. He doesn’t say anything as Daniel stares at his Rossetti wife, undoubtedly thinks about the determined twitch of her twenty-one year old ponytail and her scuffed Keds and her slipshod Navy brat graces and her body like Artemis bathing by moonlight.

But Daniel’s alone and Mulder isn’t.

Dana isn’t alone either because, against all reason and karma, she’s married him, married Fox Mulder, like it was an absolutely sane thing to do, and her family simply went along with it.

“Tell me what you saw,” says Mulder, with the gentle absolution of a priest. “No judgement here,” he lies. She was hardly more than a girl, she was an innocent, she trusted you, you fucking asshole, you predator, you-

Daniel looks at Dana. Looks down at his surgeon’s hands. No ring on any of his fingers.

Daniel closes his eyes and looks at nothing.

“We began a midline sternotomy, absolutely routine, Suddenly Ludovica - Nurse Giordano - grabbed her throat and said she couldn’t breathe. She…she screamed Diavola! Said there was sulfur, said it was mustard gas, but none of the rest of us smelled a damn thing. But she was thrashing on the floor of the OR and our patient was-“

He looks around then, catches Dana’s eye, shyness in his expression. Shyness in his fatherly face. Dana had looked up at it for approval, no doubt. In what she probably thought was passion. Maybe even love.

Dana nods encouragingly and Mulder feels it then, the weight of years. He understands in that moment that time really is the fourth dimension; that it has a hot, heavy plasticity into which you can sink. He understands the realness of an event horizon, that they are all being pulled towards the unfinished thing between Daniel and his wife, Ludovica Giordano’s corpse included.

His wife was a physics major, his wife rewrote Einstein with the ebullient narcissism of the young.

He understands that his wife and Daniel speak the same primal, arcane language of science. He is a lowly psychologist, the major you pick when you can’t get into dental school but still want to Help Others.

Kepler’s Third Law tells us that intensity equals the inverse of the square of the distance from the source.

And he’s brought Daniel back into her orbit.

***

“I can’t believe you fucked him,” Mulder gasps into her tender seashell ear. An inch from her extraordinary brain.

“I was a child,” she hisses back. “Essentially. Don’t stop, Christ, don’t - I was a child, I-“

She was, she was, she was Eos newly born, she was radiant and young, she was Persephone to Daniel’s Hades, she was fresh milk at Ostara, and a sunrise over the Atlantic.

“Did you love him?”

Her thighs so taut and pale and quivering. Her wedding dress, her misty veil. Her palimpsest skin, on which he can rewrite himself.

“I thought I did but but it wasn’t this, it was never this, it was never you, I-“

Mulder comes in her, groaning, feels the tiniest sting of shame at how good it is to reclaim her from this other man.

***

“Dana,” Daniel says, heavy-tongued for Mulder’s consecrated, Catholic wife. He is hard; he shifts in the uncomfortable chair.

Mulder knows and Dana knows and the air is thick with this knowledge but strangely not unpleasant. The air is July just before a thunderstorm. The air is dense and verging. Primal, fecund, cataclysmic.

Hot.

Green.

Alive.

The air tastes like a 9-volt battery. He wants to put a baby into his wife.

“You were there,” Mulder says, his buckskin hands woven and laced. “What did you see?”

Daniel looks at Dana, Daniel is here for Dana, because he believes she is cold and lonely and alone in the way of the outer planets. He still thinks only he can warm her.

(He doesn’t know, Daniel, not really, that there is a solid core beneath the icy mist.)

She’s too distant and abstruse and Daniel doesn’t know.

***

Daniel smirks at Mulder, this old man who felt briefly alive in the hot juncture of his wife’s thighs; smirks as though he’s done anything real at all. They view the human heart so differently, he and Daniel.

Dana - Dr. Scully - rests her palms against her sharp tweed knee. She only wants to know what stops any human heart from beating. What shuts the brain down, from prefrontal cortex in a cascade to the lowly lizard stem.

“What did you see, Daniel?” She is poised and tensed. She is waiting. She is untouchable.

Mulder - Fox - is disarmed by the chill of her haughty face. Her Plutonian eyes are so very, very cold . So very, very far.

Ice could never be so warm.

***

“‘Maggie,” he breathes, into her amber light. Into her aura, in her husband’s office, after Mulder went out for their lunch order.

“No,” Dana says. “I don’t care. Tell me about the nurse.”

Daniel huffs. “I don’t know, it was nothing, Dana, Maggie said-“

“I don’t care,” Dana says, crisp. “I don’t care about your daughter. You certainly didn’t, when you brought me to your bed.

Daniel is appalled. “Dana, you were-“

“I know what I was,” she replies. “I knew what I was doing and I don’t regret it, not really. But I didn’t understand what you were, not then. And you should regret me, Daniel.”

He looks at her, his brows drawn.

He looks away, back through the years. Dana, all sharpened Ticonderogas and her mouth an unplucked apricot. Skin like fresh-churned butter.

“She was…she was gasping,” he says to the wall of of clippings. To the Flatwoods Monster and wendigos and little lost girls and stills from the Zapruder Footage. “She was clawing at her throat, she…diavola.”

Diavola.

Daniel looks at the ceiling. “She clawed her throat to ribbons,” he says. “She said our patient was full of demons, she said…” He shakes his head and looks at Dana again.

Dana knows. Dana has seen. Has read and wondered and wondered, considered the Gerasene demoniac in the synoptic gospels. Tooms at her belly on the chilly tile of her bathroom…

It will do no good. Whatever her husband says, the truth is not always a panacea. The patient has lived and Ludovica has died and all anyone wants is official paper with Dana’s name at the bottom.

A reckoning, now. A choice.

“Anaphylaxis?” Dana murmurs, in the perfume and cashmere of a different rich man’s wife. She puts a little throatiness in her voice now, like she did after Dr. Waterston spoke to her in private about Starling’s Law. She can give him this. She can give Ludovica’s family this.

Diavola.

Mulder is right, Mulder is almost always right. But Mulder is right in his own time and Ludovica’s family needs her home.

Daniel catches the lifeline she throws, grateful.

Humbled.

Daniel, when his gaze returns, is a bit smaller in her eyes. “Yes,” he says. “It must have been.”

***

They’re eating dinner at the Peruvian chicken place on the corner because Dana is hollow and Mulder has moderately weaponized his own culinary incompetence.

“Ansel died today,” she says, poking at her rice.

Mulder nearly chokes on a mouthful of black beans. “What?!”

“Died. Massive coronary at his desk. Dead within seconds.”

Mulder gapes. Ansel Jordan, Chief Medical Examiner in DC; the alpha and omega of the unexpectedly dead in the District. “He ran marathons.”

Dana nods into the middle distance. “He ran marathons. He had a treadmill in his office. He was 57 and he was my boss and I split his chest apart with a Stryker before his body had even cooled this morning. My god, I forgot what warm tissue feels like.”

She looks up with her wide, delphinium eyes. “They asked me, Mulder.”

They asked? He is appalled. “They asked you to autopsy him? That’s really fu-“

She shakes her head. “No, nobody asked me that. No one would ever. I volunteered, it was the right thing to do, for my colleagues. For Ansel. We were hardly close but I had tremendous respect for the man.”

Ansel was a runner. He ate well and drank in moderation. He cared for his body like a classic car; starting to slow down but with lots of miles left.

The human body is strange and unpredictable.

“Are you okay?” How do you cut open a man you know? He cannot believe she didn’t call this morning but also of course she didn’t call this morning. She is an eternal riddle, a beautiful enigma.

“I’m surprisingly fine,” she says. “I mean, it’s horrible and pointless and tragic. But the process of an autopsy…it soothed me. I knew what to do and there was a…a checklist.”

He smiles, soft. “You’re always a doctor first.”

Dana shrugs, fluid and dismissive. “I guess.”

He realizes then, awed. Adoring. “They want you to… to step in, to be Chief. Dana, that’s incredible, that’s a huge honor. I’m sorry it’s come at the cost of Ansel, but Christ. It’s tremendous.”

He will never achieve this in his own career and is delighted that she can.

Dana nods slowly, a blush creeping up her fine, pale cheeks. She spears a plantain and examines it on the end of her fork. “It’s obviously not a formal offer yet, my god, he’s only just been released to the family, but yes. It’s tremendous.” She bites into the plantain.

He thinks back to that feeling of wanting a baby, wanting her to have it, and knows that the new Chief Medical Examiner of DC will have other pressures, other concerns.

She’s expressed interest in babies in a vague sort of way, but doesn’t want them like he does. Dana grew up with hand-me-downs and home haircuts and spaghetti the last week of every month. She knows that babies grow into scraped-kneed children who need lunch money and trombones and French tutors and football uniforms.

He’s rich enough for it all, for night nurses and nannies, but he knows her body is not a rental property. He wants a baby, he does, but he also doesn’t care if it means this for her. He doesn’t care if her star can rise.

“I love you,” he says, raising his plastic cup of horchata. “And I’m so goddamn sorry about Ansel.”

She lifts hers back, his wife, her old-master face and her slapdash smile. “Thank you,” she says, still pained. “And slaínte.”

“L’chaim,” he replies. To life.

[begaycommittreason]

dick settles things with eenie meenie miney moe

jason uses rock paper scissors

cass does bubblegum bubblegum

steph tries challenging them to dance offs

tim does the rolling a die trick that excludes himself like that one community episode, alternate universe explanations included

duke covers his eyes, spins around, and points at someone

damian just does it himself

[slashers-and-rats]

rivalry

afab!reader x billy lenz | plushophilia | nsfw

rat chat : wrote this as a warm up, thought y’all might like it. definitely an acquired taste. but if you wanna see billy get jealous of a stuffie and then fuck it, your prayers have been answered. i hope you enjoy!

billy didn’t know how he had gotten into a rivalry with stuffed animals of all things, but, to be fair, he didn’t know a lot of things. what he did know was that it all started with his animosity towards that one stupid, fluffy, sickly sweet pink thing.

truly, he blamed you. you had brought it home one day from a night out with your friends, excited to show off the prize you had won from a crane game at the arcade. you had to spend a bit of time explaining to him why it was such a feat, and at first, he was very proud. using a fake arm to get a treat out of a box? seemed difficult. he knew with his shaky fingers and twitchy muscles he would’ve wasted every penny trying to even brush against it. but you? you had grabbed one of the biggest stuffed animals there; it was a large, bubblegum coloured elephant, just over half the size of your torso. apparently it was a big deal for everyone involved. you boasted that the managers looked mighty angry when you pulled it from the slot of the machine, and you bragged that there was even a bit of dust on it from how long it had probably sat untouched. he just sat and listened, fiddling with the fluff of its fur (he was pretty sure elephants didn’t even have that), and watching the way you cradled it close to your chest.

the first night you had it home, you insisted on washing it. “i gotta make sure it’s clean, i don’t really know where it’s been,” you explained, placing it in the wash with care. he stood near you, watching closely. the laundry was something he took interest in. after all, that’s where the smell of your clothes came from, and he liked that. sometimes, when you would be gone at work, he’d sit in front of the dryer and wait for the little tune to play, and then pull out the warm clothes and lay in them, imagining it was you he was rolling around in. often times, it would end with him having to slip some of the clothes back into the hamper, having made them sticky with his “activities”.

billy had slept in his usual place that night. he nuzzled his way into your arms, and you wrapped around him tight, stroking his hair and letting him ramble as you drifted off. bedtime was his favourite part of the day. that’s when he got you all to himself, no interruptions. he was a selfish man; he didn’t like that you had to give other things attention. during these moments, when you were stuck to him, he’d take every chance he’d get to indulge himself in you. his hands would slide up and down your hips and the back of your thighs, and his fingers would dip under your shirt and press into that warm, soft flesh just above your butt. his lips always found somewhere to latch onto. drool would dribble out and down your skin, and you’d giggle every time he’d graze his teeth over the sensitive, tickly spots on your neck and collarbone. he’d tangle his legs in yours, making sure he was as close as possible. he didn’t care if it was summer, he couldn’t sleep without trying to merge your two bodies together like some funky little homunculi.

during this time, he’d usually be whispering all the things he had been thinking about that day. “m-missed you… missed my pretty girl… missed your body- missed you against me…” that soft, pathetic little tone would leak out between wet, sloppy sucks of your flesh, and you’d pat his head gently and reassure him that you missed him too. he knew you weren’t lying. he’d feel that heat between your legs, the kind that made you squeeze them tighter around him and press even closer to his thigh, and it would make his head spin. “piggy wants me? tell me. tell me my piggy wants me- tell me. i w-want it, tell me- billy wants to hear you squeeeaaaaal~” there was something about that uneven grin and big eyes that he’d stare up at you with that would melt you, and you two would end up staying up a bit later to have quality time together.

that was the routine. it was perfect. why did it have to change just because of some stupid elephant?

the next day, you had woken up early to go to work. you peeled off of him, and padded your way to the bathroom, careful to be quiet. billy would usually still be asleep, sprawled out in the sheets. he found that when he had a proper bed, and not just some dingy mattress and blankets in an attic, he was quite the squirmy sleeper. you once theorized it was because he finally had the space to actually be comfortable, but he didn’t really care why, he was just happy to not feel sore in his bones like he used to.

on the way back from the bathroom, you threw your stuffie into the dryer. you got dressed, kissed your messy man on the forehead, and left for your shift.

the day had been uneventful. billy had woken up an hour or so later, and did the routine you had showed him to do. he took a shower, rinsed his hair out, and made sure to wash in all the important spots. after the night before, he couldn’t help but lean his back against the cold tile of the shower, and let the warm water burn him up while he pressed his nose against your bottle of soap. he couldn’t help but inch his hand down around his shaft, feeling it ache at the smell of you. he had learned from past mistakes that holding the bottle against his face was enough. no licking, no tasting- just breathing in your scent and rubbing over himself was enough to make him spill down the drain in minutes. after that, he’d step out of the shower, wrap himself up in a towel, and brush his teeth in front of the mirror. this was something you insisted upon him doing. for a long time, his face was something he didn’t recognize. he’d stare at his own reflection, and wonder who that stranger was, and why they kept frowning at him. but now, after a year or so of normality (or, the closest he could get to it), the face he saw felt like more of an old friend than anything.

shower done, teeth brushed, he’d get dressed and make breakfast. after breakfast, it was getting his chores done, and after chores, he would sit in the garden in the backyard and look at all the bugs and odd weeds. he’d draw the ones he wanted you to see. he had learned quickly that bringing them into the house wasn’t something you were always super excited for, especially the bugs, but you always made sure to keep his drawings.

in the afternoon, you came home, and he ran to the door to greet you as he always did. he followed you around as you unpacked your things. he wouldn’t talk much, just listening to you as you set your work clothes aside, and talked about your day, and all the things you had to deal with. this time, as you went to the bedroom to change out of your uniform, you stopped by the dryer and pulled out that pink beast again. billy watched you cradle it close to your chest, and for just a moment, he felt a twinge of something in his stomach. at that moment, he couldn’t tell what it was, but hindsight made it very clear that it was the bubblings of jealousy.

you set it down on your bed, and began switching into your pyjamas. he sat down beside it, stealing glances at it while he watched you free yourself from the confines of your bra. he even pushed it over so it wouldn’t get a look. this was his, after all. he didn’t plan on sharing the show with anyone.

he had gotten better at keeping his hands to himself, at least while you were trying to get things done. but the second you bent over to pull your pants up, his hands shot out and grabbed at your thighs, pulling you back into his lap. you let out a small shriek, landing on top of him, and laughing. “hey, not in front of pinky!” you exclaimed, batting at the hands running up your shirt.

billy paused, tilting his head to the side. “p-pinky…?” his voice was light and raspy, curious, as he looked around the room.

“yeah, i thought it would be a cute name for our new friend,” you explained, patting the head of that abomination next to you. billy looked over, feeling that same bubbling from before rising again in his stomach. he glared at the elephant, before shoving it off the bed, and pushing you down onto the spot where it once was. you giggled, wriggling around as he climbed on top of you, sliding between your legs like he had many times before, and pressing his erection flush up against your warmth. his head dipped down, burying into your chest, and he took a deep breath. you burned up his senses. he let his tongue lull out, cooling the quickly heating flesh with his saliva. it felt like licking an element. he hoped it would leave a burn, so that you’d have to care for him, and stay with him, and pamper him.

your hands slid up his back, stopping so your palm could massage his shoulder blades, before continuing on to weave your fingers into his hair. he groaned softly, pulling his head up so he could glance at you. you were giving him that soft smile, the one that showed contentedness and comfort. it made him feel like melting wax, and he settled down against your body, resting his cheek against one of your breasts so he could listen to the gentle thump of your heart beat.

“you just wanna cuddle for a bit?” you asked, propping yourself up on an elbow. he nodded, his arms wrapping around your torso.

“warm… piggy feels warm and i-i wanna… wanna use you like a heater,” he grumbled. “b-burn billy.”

you hummed, twirling a strand around your finger. “i don’t think i can burn you with just my skin, unfortunately.”

“y-you can try.” his voice was deep and determined, and it brought back the fire that had been building in his stomach. he wiggled his way back up your body, boxing you in with his arms so he could press his weight down on top of you. he tried to cover you with as much of him as possible, wanting to mix with your own being and melt into you.

you two stayed like that for awhile; billy pressing his hips into you every once in awhile and rutting against you. you’d feel his erection prodding against your pussy through your underwear, and you’d push it up into him to provide him some extra relief. he’d take this willingly, and hump you like you were nothing more than a pillow. but you knew he didn’t see you as just an object. you were so much more.

after the fun, a shower was had and dinner was made, and the cool air of summer rolled in through the windows. you settled into bed with a book, and that pink thing was off the floor and on the pillow beside you. billy couldn’t keep his eyes off of it. it felt like it was looking right back at him, and he didn’t like it. he pulled his own pyjamas on, and climbed into bed.

“you ready to turn out the lights?” you asked, closing up the novel with a satisfying snap. he nodded, and as he wiggled under the blanket, and turned towards you to take up his usual place, he noticed you weren’t facing towards him.

this made him immediately worried. he leaned over you, investigating your change in position, and immediately found the culprit. that stupid, ugly thing was taking up his place in your arms. you were nuzzling your face against its head, squeezing it close to you. you looked comfortable, and while he was always happy to see you happy, he couldn’t help but frown.

“p-piggy?” he pushed you gently with his hand, and you wiggled a bit.

“mhm? you gonna come cuddle?” you purred, as if what you were doing wasn’t abnormal.

“b-billy… billy can’t, you’re not-“ he paused, trying to find the words, but they were getting clogged up with frustration. how dare that thing take his spot? it should’ve known its place. he almost had half the mind to rip it out of your hands and tear the stuffing out with his teeth.

“of course you can, what’re you talking about? just be big spoon tonight, silly.” you wiggled your butt a bit, as if inviting him to slide up against you. you couldn’t see it, but his brows were furrowing, and he was wringing his fingers out. somehow, it felt like he was losing. it seemed silly to feel that way. he knew it was just a stuffed animal, he knew it had no intention of taking his place, and yet…

he shook the thoughts from his head. he cozied up behind you, wrapping his arms as tightly around you as possible, and nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

this position felt different. it felt… wrong. he couldn’t see you. he couldn’t kiss your face, or bite at your collarbone, or suck on that ticklish flesh on your throat. he couldn’t smother his face with your breasts. the way you had bunched yourself up against this doll made it so that he really couldn’t reach much of you at all. every time he went to dip his hands into your shirt and up towards your chest, he was met with the feeling of that plush stopping his passage, like a tunnel that had a cave in. what was even worse was that you didn’t see the problem. you just laid there, falling asleep quickly, without the usual before bedtime play.

billy couldn’t sleep, though. he stayed up for awhile, festering, and mumbling into the back of your neck. he knew it wouldn’t wake you, you had become quite used to his rants during the night, but he almost wished you would hear him. he was grumpy. how could something like that take his place? how could you let it? the only reassurance he had was that it wouldn’t last. it would just be tonight, and then by tomorrow you’d have lost interest, and it would be discarded to the pile of the other stuffed animals you decorated the room with.

but, obviously, that didn’t happen.

the next night rolled around, and he was met with your back again. and the night after. and the night after that. this continued for a week, with the disgust he felt towards that bubblegum catastrophe mounting. there were times where he almost told you, and confessed that he despised that eyesore, but he’d see the way you held it close, and smiled so sweetly when you slept with it, that he couldn’t bring himself to.

it all came to a head when one day, in the early morning, as you were getting ready for work and doing your usual routine, you walked over to the bed thinking billy was asleep. truthfully, he thought he was asleep too. he was in and out of a dream state, going between watching you through hooded eyes, to imagining all the fun you’d get up to later when you got home. you grabbed your phone off the bedside table, gave a quick kiss to billy’s forehead, and then… you gave one to the stuffed animal.

it nearly made billy jump out of bed. you hadn’t seen, turning around and walking out the door without a second thought, but his eyes had widened in what felt like betrayal. that was his kiss. that was his special treat, that was his promise that you would be home soon, that was his- you were his. he refused to share, even with some stuffed abomination.

he waited until he heard the front door close, and then sat up. before he knew it, he had wrapped his hand around the things neck, and held it out in front of him in inspection. it must’ve been playing mind tricks. how else had it made you fall in love with it so fast? it wasn’t that cute, it wasn’t that interesting- in billy’s opinion, it was quite hard to even look at. the bright colours made his eyes ache, and the stupid expression it wore looked shifty and untrustworthy. what did you see in this thing?

his fingers squeezed the fur of the plushie, his nails digging into it and against the fabric underneath. he didn’t like it. he didn’t want you to like it. he needed it gone. he needed it ruined. he needed to ruin it. this was revenge. it should’ve known better. today was the day he got rid of that thing.

billy did what he did best. he pushed the stuffed animal up into his face, opening his mouth wide and biting down hard on the fluffy “flesh” of the doll, before beginning to pull at it with his teeth. the fabric began to tear, releasing little hairs and fluff into his mouth. it made him sputter and spit, and he pulled away, wiping his tongue off on his arm. it was fighting back now? how dare it? he squeezed it again in his hands, bringing it up for another bite, sinking his teeth into the torso and ripping some of the seams undone. he listened to the sound, satisfied. it made him feel good, like he was succeeding over it somehow. sure it was inanimate, but it should’ve known better than to get in between him and his precious piggy.

the thought of you made his veins run warm. he couldn’t put the blame on you. this thing must’ve put you under a spell, you just needed to be released from it. you needed to be reminded that it was billy you wanted. billy was the best cuddle, he was the one you should hold and snuggle, and he was surely the only one you should be kissing.

as the thoughts of you swam through his head, he breathed in deep. his eyes widened a bit when he realized how much this thing smelled of you. part of him was immediately soothed. any reminder of you made him feel safe, and took away those pesky, buzzing thoughts. but, another, larger part of him felt enraged. how dare this thing steal your scent? how dare it flaunt the fact it’s been so close to you that it even smells like you? the audacity.

he pressed it closer, feeling a damp spot forming on part of the fabric. he was beginning to drool. he couldn’t help it. every time he thought of you, and thought of burying his face in you, and holding you, he salivated. if he could keep you on his tongue like a mint he would. he wanted to taste you. it had been days since you’d played with him. you’d say you were busy, or you’d have your nose in your new book, or you’d be curled up with this stuffie. he had gotten better about not prying, and not insisting that you let him use you- but, he was sure you must’ve noticed the way he pawed at your thighs and rutted himself against your ass. right…?

he pulled his face away, panting softly. he had nearly smothered himself. he wanted to suck all of your smell off of this thing. it didn’t deserve it. he deserved it.

he stared down at the plushie, this thing you adored so much. two large holes were now in its body, with stuffing spilling out. it looked almost gorey. he glanced towards the door of the bedroom, almost expecting you to come back in and chastise him, like some dog that ripped up the carpet. but you didn’t come. it was just him and this thing…

before billy even realized, he was peeling the comforter off of his body and yanking down his pyjamas pants. he sat up on his knees, pushing the stuffie down in front of him. he shifted from leg to leg, feeling something fluttering in his stomach. he shouldn’t be doing this. this was something you had been proud to bring home. this is something you had held so carefully. this is something that had taken his spot. as that thought flew by his head, the rest of his consciousness pushed aside to make way for his skewed logic. if this thing had the gaul to take his spot in your arms, it obviously didn’t know its place. it was just a dumb toy, and billy loved dumb toys.

billy reached his hand down, squeezing it around his shaft. he let out a soft breath through his nose, biting down on his bottom lip while he stroked himself to an erection. the knowledge that what he was doing was wrong only fuelled the ache in his cock. he could imagine your face when you’d seen what he’d done. you’d thank him for freeing you from the throes of whatever curse this thing had put on you. you’d throw it in the trash immediately, and hold billy again like he was your favourite doll. he was. he knew he was, this thing had just tricked you.

once he was hard, he pressed his dick up against the surface of the plushie. the fluff of the fur rubbed smoothly up against him. if he wasn’t so angry, he might’ve admitted that it felt nice. but, instead, he just glared down at the thing, squeezing his hands around its head. he began rutting his hips, pushing himself up and down the torso of the stuffie. he bit down hard on his lip, focused on his task of ruining this rival of his.

with every movement of his hips, he let out a small grunt of pleasure. that fluttering feeling had turned into a tornado. it tore up his stomach, and created such a satisfying ache in his balls. this felt so dirty. he felt like a stupid mutt tearing up its master’s slippers, but even then it was so much more than that. he was a gallant knight, protecting his princess from falling under an evil spell. this was chivalrous. he repeated this in his head while he humped the toy, reassuring himself that he was being considerate, not selfish. he was doing this for you. you needed to see how ugly this thing really was.

billy gasped, pulling away from the fur of the doll and looking down at the mess he’d made so far. there were small, sticky beads of precum caught within the fluff. he reached down, rubbing it into the fabric. he wrapped a hand around his cock, squeezing out another few beads of precum, before wiping it onto the beady eyes of the doll as well. he didn’t want it seeing him. it didn’t deserve to see what was rightfully yours, and the fact it even thought it could get away with it reminded billy of his goal.

he found the hole he had made in the torso, using his fingers to pull the rip apart. the doll had been tightly packed, the stuffing bursting out. he pressed his fingers into it, feeling how tight it was inside. he could make it work. this would teach it.

he held the stuffie up to his face, gathering all the saliva that had pooled in his mouth and spitting it into the open hole. he once again stuck his digits inside, making sure to spread the fluid around onto the nearby stuffing, before pushing it back down onto the bed. he lifted himself up, positioning the head of his dick right at the opening. for a moment, he hesitated. did he really want to destroy something of yours like this? did he really think this would make you happy, or was he doing it for himself? he shook the thoughts from his head. this thing was even beginning to play mind tricks on him, the bastard.

he pushed his cock into the tear. he breathed heavy out of his nose, feeling the tightness of the stuffing around him. it was wet, but not wet enough that it didn’t tickle him a little to move. it felt silly. he wondered what you’d think if you saw him like this. would you be disappointed? you’d walked in on him humping your pillow before. you had looked at him with a flame in your eyes, and that night you had made him ride it until he spilled all over himself, and then made him lick up the mess. he had to do the laundry after, as well, but that was a fine price to pay for the fun he had. maybe you’d do the same here. you’d be proud of him for taking initiative, and destroying such an ugly thing. maybe it was all a test. maybe you were watching him now, so happy that he was so loyal that he’d destroy something that even dared be near you, whether alive or not.

he groaned thinking about it. the idea of you peeking through the door, watching him defile this innocent little plush- he throbbed. he didn’t dare ruin his fantasy, keeping his eyes away from the bedroom door while he began thrusting into the doll. he used his hands to squeeze the torso around him, making it tight to his shaft. a moan slipped passed his lips, and his head fell forward so he could stare down at his enemy. he watched how with every push of his cock inside of it, stuffing fell out, further ruining this eyesore. precum leaked inside of it, making the inner fluff sticky and slick. it became easier and easier to move. soon, he barely remembered that this was some ugly plush elephant, and he was imagining it was you. he thought about the way you’d squirm under him, and squeeze your legs around his waist, and pull him deeper into you. you’d moan his name like it was a chant to god. he wasn’t much of a religious man, but he worshipped you like you were his creator. sometimes he thought that the only reason he was alive was to fuck you.

he let out another deep moan, shifting his weight so he could fuck harder into the plushie. it felt so warm, so soft… he was starting to shake. he trembled with the intensity of a nearing orgasm. he couldn’t believe he was going to cum from this. he felt dirty, but it felt so good.

he pulled himself out of the doll, wrapping his hand around his cock quickly and beginning to stroke. he didn’t want to grace this abomination with his cum inside of it. you wouldn’t see it then. he wanted you to see the mess he made, he wanted you to know how much he despised it.

with every pump of his hand, he moaned your name. this was for you. it was all for you. he reached down, quickly ripping an arm from the doll, and pushing it into his face. it smelled of you and him now. it made him shudder, and he breathed deep, before releasing thick, sticky ropes over the body and face of the plushie. he relaxed, his head lolling forward.

he admired his work. the stuffed animal was torn to pieces, with bits of fluff spilling out over the sheets, and a mess of cum drying into the fabric. he felt proud of himself. he stood up, leaving the remnants of the doll on the bed, before going to start his own daily routine.

he had nearly forgotten about it.

that was, until you got home, and he followed you around as he usually did. you had been talking about your boss, and how they were throwing your team a little party at the arcade for how well you all had been doing. as you walked into the bedroom to get changed into your comfy clothes, you saw the crime scene on the bed. billy stopped in his tracks, nearly turning around to run.

he watched you walk over to it, and run your hands over the fuzz, feeling the dried mess he had left. he didn’t expect you to laugh, looking back at him with a smile. “did you fuck pinky?” you asked, amazed. he shook his head at first, but then you raised an eyebrow, and it made him hesitate. “so, someone just broke in and fucked my stuffed animal? that’s what you’re saying?” he looked away from you, biting his lip. this was the moment he had been waiting for. why wasn’t he taking credit for his work…?

“i-i… maybe… b-billy couldn’t help it-“

you looked back at the stuffie and chuckled. “wow! i didn’t think you liked it THAT much. you really tore this thing up.”

billy’s eyes widened. “w-what?”

“well, you did a number on pinky. but don’t worry, i’ll get you a new one when i head back to the arcade. this time, it’ll be even bigger! and hopefully not so easy to tear up.” you picked up the remnants, and walked passed billy into the hallway, kissing him on the way out.

this was the beginning of a long running war. billy was sure that somehow, somewhere, that elephant knew it had won.

[pictureinme]

i can i request kitten x bimbo!reader going shopping together? maybe even doing each others makeup? i’m so in love with her

thank u so much for such a cute request ;-; i focused on the shopping here, but makeup sesh is def in the works... >:)

bubblegum

patricia ‘kitten’ braden x f!bimbo!reader word count: ~1k tags: established relationship, suggestive themes, flirting, overdescribing of clothing as per usual

(ao3)

The clacking of heels on pavement, accompanied by continuous giggling, was like music to you and Kitten’s ears. You two walk side by side on the Downtown thoroughfare, ogling at whatever individual strikes your shared fancies.

“Did you see the way he looked at you, darling?” Kitten covers her mouth with a manicured hand, smiling. “He definitely liked what he saw.”

“Oh, you might be right! However,” you lean close to her ear, breath hot, “That fellow that just walked by us was thinking something just awful about you, Kitten dear.”

“Is that so?” She looks at you coyly, hips swaying just a little bit more exaggerated than usual, “I didn’t know you were a mind-reader! What am I thinking now, then?”

You pout your lips, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, “You’re thinking… about how badly you want to buy that Pucci scarf!”

Pointing towards the shop window beside you both, the two of you laugh.

“By God, you’re right, (Y/N)! We simply must go in, it’s fate, no?”

Nodding quickly, you walk in together, being met with stares from cashiers and shoppers alike. You’re dressed in a simple light pink jumpsuit, zipped down ever so slightly to reveal a hint of your chest, and your height is practically doubled by your deeper pink platforms. Kitten was dressed just as lovely as you, if not more understated comparatively: flared denim overalls, with a white peasant top underneath.

“Love, do you think they’ll notice if we nick anything?” Kitten whispers to you, her smirking obvious.

“You have really got to get used to having money, dear,” You strut through the store and pick up a houndstooth pencil skirt, “No more of that talk, now how does this look on me?”

She smiles widely, barely holding back a laugh, “Absolutely horrid, let me see that.”

After a quick back and forth about who rocked it better, the two of you eventually find your arms full of clothing to try on. Making your way to the dressing rooms, you both enter the same one, which didn’t come as a surprise. You both needed immediate opinions on the items you chose.

Kitten quickly undoes her overall clasps, and you bite your lip as you see her cute little knickers, “God, you never fail to amaze me, Kitty.”

“Call me ‘Kitty’ again, I’ll kick you,” she pulls on a plaid miniskirt, “And trust me, I know.”

You unzip your jumpsuit fully, revealing that you’re wearing not a thing underneath. Her eyes practically bulge out of her skull, but she quickly shakes the truly dirty thoughts from her head. Acting as if nothing is amiss, you turn around to pull on some rather tight leather pants, maneuvering your hips in a rather hypnotic way toward Kitten.

“Good Lord, (Y/N)...”

Smirking as you finally fit the buttons together, you spin around, “Something catch your eye, dear?”

“Maybe,” Kitten’s hands trace your curves, leaving goosebumps in her wake on your chest, “You’ll see when we get home.”

You perk up at her words, debating whether or not you should eat her out right then, “Little tease!”

“Says you!”

Kitten pulls away, her touch still lingering on your bare skin. You stick your tongue out and reach down to try on the Hermès sweater with a cutout in the chest that had been tantalizing you for weeks now. It was baggy, but coupled with the leather bootcuts, you felt unstoppable.

Turning around, you see Kitten smoothing down a Pucci dress, with billowing sleeves and patterned with green-blue swirls, typical of the brand. She looked like she stepped right off the runway, and your heart fluttered.

“We certainly shifted towards different styles, hm?” Kitten spins around in her dress, showing just how flowy the garment was. She looks you up and down, under the guise of reviewing your outfit, “That hugs your body just right, (Y/N). I adore it.”

“And I love our ever-changing aesthetics,” you watch her smile grow as she looks at herself in the mirror, “You look amazing, darling. If you don’t buy that, I will!”

Kitten pulls you towards her by your belt loops, biting her lip and staring down your shared reflection. “Look at us, (Y/N). Aren’t we so perfect together?”

“I have to agree, pretty kitty,” grabbing her ass rather harshly, you both laugh, “I think we have to be the hottest couple in this country.”

Nipping at your neck softly, she hums, “There’s no way around it, we have to buy all of these clothes, don’t we?”

“Oh, absolutely,” you kiss the top of her head, hand still on her behind, “We have to show everybody just how good we look together.”

Even as quickly as you two tried on every article you brought in, it still took an hour in the changing room. Multiple times, a clerk knocked rather sharply to inform you of the time, but they couldn’t exactly pull you out in such states of undress.

You both strut out, leaving no garments behind, and leaving surrounding customers stunned at how exactly you could afford such a plethora of items. Kitten seemed more nervous than you were, but money can do all the talking, so neither of you have to.

The cashier cleared her throat as you two placed your items on the counter, “You going to pay for all that then?”

Kitten steps behind you as you roll your eyes, “Duh. You think we’re like… destitute or something?”

Fancy words, accompanied by your attire, always gave them pause. You hand her your credit card, and she hesitantly puts it in the machine. Acting as if you were the most annoyed person on the planet, the transaction goes fairly fast, and without issue.

“Thank you for shopping with us, ladies.”

The two of you haul your various shopping bags out of the store, laughing all the while.

“How much even was all that, (Y/N)?” Kitten leans against the telephone pole, lighting a cigarette.

“I have no idea, and I don’t want to know until my statement comes in, or the company tears down our door!”

After taking a drag, she passes you the now-lit cigarette, “Now how exactly are we gonna haul this 10 blocks back to our flat?”

[eustassslut]

I LOVE YOUR HEAT HEADCANNONS SO MUCH😭I love the idea of the crew gathering around him with random objects as he juggles seeing how many they can toss at him to catch and add to the juggle before it becomes too much (who would’ve known that someone can’t juggle 500 things plus a cannonball *shrug*)

This is the funniest addition ever, actually can't stop laughing at the image of people just throwing objects at him with no context.

It would be discovered that Heat can juggle a couple of months into joining Kid on the Victoria Punk because he has a tendency to subconsciously juggle anything that he's holding if he's bored, zoned out or just feeling stressed. Juggling reminds him of his family back home and his happy memories from the circus before his childhood probably went to shit so it definitely relaxes him a lot. However, just because it relaxes him and he enjoys doing it doesn't make it any less terrifying the first few times he does it in front of the other Kid Pirates.

For example, the first time Heat gets caught juggling would involve knives. It's a few weeks into sailing with the Kid Pirates and even though he's known the founding members most of his life, they haven't really spent a lot of time together in close proximity until getting on the Victoria Punk so they all don't know each other's quirks or habits yet. (Like how Wire pats doorframes before entering a room and that Killer wears fluffy bear slippers in the morning until he's finished breakfast). So Heat would be sitting in the kitchen with the others when Killer asks him to help peal some potatoes for lunch because he's too busy to multitask for once; and Heat who is incredibly reliable does it very quickly. Now he's just sat there with knives and he's a little bit bored so he starts juggling them whilst leaning over to read the newspaper over Wire's shoulder. But poor Wire looks over to talk to his friend and instead is greeted by four knives spinning a few inches from his face, so he does the nature thing and lets out a very high scream.

This happens several other times with various sharp objects and items Heat really should not be touching when he could potentially drop them (namely, the ship's log pose) before an intervention is staged and he's banned from juggling certain objects in certain spaces out of fear. He is allowed to juggle whatever he wants if he's safely off the Victoria Punk and not near any animal or child (namely Dive) he could injure. He's also allowed to juggle weapons in fights as Kid has learnt a 7ft+ tall man twirling flaming batons and guns usually unnerves most opponents and encourages them to run away.

The Kid Pirates all trust him though and having eventually during their journeys together heard stories of Heat's circus days, delighting in throwing various 'safe' objects for him to juggle and playing games to see how much he can actually juggle on drunk party nights. They also love just bringing him random objects and weirdly shaped things they find to see if he'll be able to juggle it without issues. The answer to this is always yes. Except for the time Bubblegum silently handed him two dildos with no explanation and Heat didn't realise what he was holding at first then got startled, throwing one of them at Kid's head by accident. Despite all of this, they have given up counting how many different things he can juggle at once because they always loose track.

Heat does enjoy that they all see the fun and humour in his juggling, as well as his trapeze and tightrope walking skills, it reminds him of why he loved growing up in the circus. It especially reminds him of his family whenever Dive comes up to him with random gifts when she's bored or lonely, quietly asking if he'll juggle for her or teach her some of his skills.

Heat's circus skills just bring endless hours of fun to the crew and allow them all to bond, when he's not twirling knives and sticks he's lit on fire. It also lets him practise so he couldn't be happier to entertain the Kid Pirates with his skills.

[bad268]

Hi! if you want to or if you feel like it can you write anything about droid pezzy grizzy or puffer any of them you absolutely don't have to and if you want to can you write smth related to this

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpFzEIjINj9/?igshid=MjljNjAzYmU=

Bubblegum Bitch (Big Puffer X Streamer! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Miscellaneous

Requested: Clearly (Took me a minute, I was tossing up different ideas for this I hope you like it!)

Warnings: Language ig

Pronouns: You/your

W.C. 1159

Summary: A broken promise leads to revenge.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Screenshot from sleep stream vid/can't remember which)

Chat was being a pain today. Well, they were always a pain, but it seemed more than usual. After your 3 month hiatus from streaming and social media, the chat was bound to be hectic. Add to the fact that it was a sleep stream. Yeah, it should've been expected that chat would have a field day.

"I get it, guys," you started off as you started setting up media share, "I haven't been active in forever. Y'all are just crazy, and I needed a break." You glanced over at the messages, most of it is just random letters and emotes. Some of it was welcoming you back to streaming, some asking if you're going to have a regular streaming schedule again, and some complaining that media share is not working. "Hold your horses, guys. I'm still setting it up, takes time."

You ended up putting on some elevator music to fill the silence as you continued to set up media share. At one point, someone sent a donation, and apparently, the sound was already connected to the speakers, so it nearly blew your eardrums out.

"Is Puffer joining you?" It said.

"Jesus, fuck, no," you laughed. "Ain't no way I could convince Puffer to join me for a sleep stream. Actually, maybe..." you trailed off, pulling your phone off the charger to text our chat. "Okay, we'll see what he says. In the meantime, feel free to blast him on Twitter or something. Blow up his notifications, so he'll have to join. I think he's streaming now, too, so feel free to leave while I set up media share."

Meanwhile, Puffer was streaming a you laugh, you spin the wheel, and his own chat had convinced him to add "sleep stream" to the list. Just as he spun the wheel, the last time for his stream, his chat starts blowing more so than usual. Instead of paying attention to the wheel, he focuses on what the chat is talking about. Most of them begging the wheel to land on the sleep stream or asking him to join his significant other.

"Did (twitch user) send you? I already told them I'm not joining," he laughed before beginning to dial your number but immediately stopped once he saw what the wheel landed on: sleep stream. "Oh fuck off. Really?" His attention flips to be solely focused on the wheel, making sure it actually landed on the sleep stream. "What if I just go join (twitch user)? Will that make you happy? Will that count?" Seeing the chat fill with yeses and happy emotes, he started setting up for a raid to his significant other with a sigh. "Fine, head over there. I'll be over there in a minute."

In your room, you finally got media share to work, and all of your viewers (plus Puffer's from the raid you didn't know you had) witnessed you get jumpscared by the Buzz Lightyear commercial. "There's gotta be a minimum for that. I can see why Puffer does $50 minimum for it."

"Puffer is coming" A donation read through the speakers, scaring you once again.

"Oh, how did y'all convince him? I'm curious," You asked chat, looking through the messages in hopes of seeing anyone answer my question.

"Unluck of the wheel and opportunity," Puffer answered as he walked into your office in a comfier outfit than what he was streaming in with a pillow and blanked. "The wheel landed on sleep stream, so I'm just going to join you."

The stream was hell, to put it lightly. With Puffer's audience excited for the sleep stream and your chat finally happy to see some content, there were no silence moments the entire night.

"I am never doing a sleep stream again," Puffer groaned as he hid his face in your neck while you checked the chat on your phone.

"On the bright side, it's gonna be over soon," You laughed, setting your phone down as you played with his hair. "Mods just told me that someone just sent in the last video of the night. Should be playing soon."

Looking up at the screen when you hear a song playing, it's Bubblegum Bitch by MARINA. Your eyes grew wide as you registered that it was the video you made over the break, teasing Puffer. The same video that you swore not to post.

"What the fuck is that..." Puffer trailed off, seeing you and him in the video. Then it gets to the chorus, and the video shows you grabbing him by the shirt, pulling him in like you were going to kiss him before pushing him away again. Immediately, he remembers when that happened. "You said you weren't going to post that!"

"I put it in the member's discord," You defended, "It was a challenge they asked me to do anyway, so one of them is a little snitch."

"On that note, we are done. I am done. I am never doing a sleep stream again," He exaggerated as he jumped out of the bed, leaving the room. "And I am never trusting you again!"

"Look at what you guys did," I lectured chat as I moved to end the stream. "Just for that, no stream for the rest of the week. See you guys next week! Think about what you've done. Bye!"

~~

Two days later, Puffer was still salty. You promised not to post that video, yet there it was on the internet. He was going to get back at you, and he knew exactly what he needed to do.

It was a chill day. One where you were cuddling into Puffer’s side as a movie played in the background, and you both scrolled through your phones. You put yours to the side as you got hit with a wave of exhaustion, pulling the blanket that was across your laps up to your shoulders.

This was his chance, he thought. You were nearly asleep, so you would not question his actions. He made sure his headphones were connected before setting up his phone to record your reaction. He gently shook you away during the lead-up of the song, your face filled with confusion, as he moved his hand to rest on the back of your neck to pull you in for a kiss, but he stopped just short. 

“I’ll chew you up and,” He whispered against your lips before pushing you back, “I’ll spit you out.” Your face dropped in shock as you realized what he was doing. “Cause that’s what young love is all about.”

“So pull me closer,” You whispered back, overcoming the shock, as you grabbed his chin to pull him in, “and kiss me hard.”

“I’m gonna pop your bubblegum heart,” You both whispered together while jokingly glaring at each other. 

“I’m gonna post this,” Puffer said after a minute of just staring into your eyes. “I think that’s fair.”

“All is fair in love and war.”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2023. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[cheesecakeislazy]

More BEN headcanons because fuck my life

1. He loves milk boba tea (extra sugar and caffeine)

2. He references vines and memes all the time

3. Due to being made out of supernatural techno bullshit- his voice can perfectly replicate anything. He uses this power only for memes.

4. BEN actually likes board games- but he doesn’t play them often because everyone destroys them

5. BEN is insanely good at hacking so everyone always calls him a cheater when he beats them.

6. He never cheats in video games, he believes in hard work and dedication and training

7. BEN loves all video games he doesn’t discriminate :D

8. He lowkey loves Fnaf world the most out of every Fnaf game

9. He speed runs in his past times (no he isn’t competitive he just thinks it’s fun)

10. He never removes funko pops out of the box. They stay in the box on the shelf.

11. His room has posters all over the walls for every fandom he loves (there are 3 Hatsune Miku ones)

12. BEN fucking loves vocaloids

13. He cosplays

14. His teeth are extra sharp for no reason

15. His favorite Pokémon is Mimikyu

16. He knows the Vaporeon copypasta by heart (did you know that in terms of-)

17. He’s played every single Pokémon game (including the spin offs)

18. Anime hoodies. That’s the headcanon.

19. He chews bubblegum pretty often- he likes watermelon

20. He likes cats, his FYP is filled with cats

21. He thinks reptiles are cool as shit and wants a lizard

22. He has body pillows in his room. He doesn’t use them for anything. They just sit there as decor.

23. He likes to make brownies at 4 am. It’s 50/50 if they’re weed brownies. It’s also 50/50 if they come out perfect or burnt

24. Ben is fully aware of his fangirls and is lowkey jealous than Toby and Jeff have more than him

25. He has like 5 whole Nintendo switches

26. He still plays animal crossing his favorite villagers are Sasha and Stitches

27. He likes to paint his nails and usually lets Sally do it for him and then fixes up any mistakes she makes afterwards.

28. He loves trolling everybody in the mansion. Pranks are a daily guarantee

29. He has a sword and shield that he can summon whenever he wants- he just normally doesn’t because he thinks stabbing people is overrated

30. He’s so lazy that 85% of the time he’s hovering 2 inches above ground instead of walking

31. He never does his chores unless someone actually manages to threaten him

32. Ben rarely ever feels threatened, you can’t die twice

33. Ben is immortal. He tried killing himself (not suicidal) a few times just to see what happens. Turns out he’s fire proof

34. He usually has tea party duty with Sally and Jeff. Ben wears the pink tutu and an overabundance of hot pink makeup done by Sally

35. One time Slender turned the Wi-fi off to see what happened, BEN screeched in high pitched sound waves that would pierce your ears until Slender turned it back on

36. That happens whenever BeN has a temper tantrum, don’t worry- it’s rare. Just don’t eat his brownies unless you made sure he has enough to eat later

[violetpixiedust]

thinking about soft!boyfriend steve. who grabs whatever inanimate object is closest to him and sings a silly little song into it whenever you’re sad just to see you break into a smile. who bundles you up in the coziest scarf he owns at the slightest inclination that you’re cold, he keeps it in the trunk of his car for you just in case. steve, who cuts off your self deprecating speech with a head spinning spearmint flavoured kiss because he adores you so incredibly much, and he knows that no words he could ever say would speak louder at that particular moment. steve, who reaches up wordlessly with a veiny hand to grab anything off the top shelf before you can even lean onto your tip toes. steve, who’s crafted from stardust, donning constellations made up of moles and freckles, scattered across his sun kissed complexion for you to trace, kiss, and memorize. steve is the act of selflessly switching ice creams or even sandwiches with you when you end up not liking yours. a rosy flush never fails to adorn his cheeks the day after, when you sweetly drop off coffee and baked goods at family video for him and robin to share as a thank you. steve is the colour of sunshine. paisley, warm and illuminating. steve is the epitome of lovesick when you laugh a bit too loud, knowing that you learned to shed your fear of doing so after you told him an ex of yours loathed it. he would give anything to hear you laugh like that every time. steve is the type of boyfriend who twirls you with his arms wrapped tightly around your waistline after spending fifteen minutes apart from you. who goes helplessly weak in the knees when you kiss him, because every time feels like the first time with you. who fiddles with the hem of your clothing, a lock of your hair, your dainty jewellery, anything to be closer to you while you speak to him. who reads with you from behind your shoulder, and quietly kisses the crook of your neck to let you know that you can turn the page. who promptly kneels onto the floor in front of you no matter where you are before fixing your shoelace or heel strap when he notices it’s come undone, much to your appreciative embarrassment. who lifts you up onto the nearest surface before he protectively bandages your wounds no matter how small, even if it was just a little scrape from when you clumsily banged into one of the cupboards, placing a tender kiss to the area after he ensures the edges of the plaster are smooth, wiping away your tears if any. steve, who feels the garden of his chest bloom with fresh wildflowers every time you say you love him, because he knows that you mean it, he can feel it, also because you’re so endearingly bad at telling even the whitest of lies. he drifts off to sleep whenever you play with his silky hair at the end of a long day, your manicured fingers gently scratching his scalp as he leans into the safety of being taken care of. steve is sticky lipgloss coated kisses on the cheek, intertwined fingers, dusky almond toned eyes brimmed with infatuation, fresh linen scented lullabies, bottled springtime, bouquets of your favourite flowers at any hour, stray flowers picked by you innocently placed behind his ears or braided through his hair. unbeknownst to the both of you, you’ve each started your own flower pressing journals, preserving every single petal that you’ve ever received from the other. steve is confidently mispronounced words that have you rolling in giggles and falling for him impossibly harder. he’s rose water scented love letters, time capsule polaroids of you in every nook of his burgundy bmw despite max saying that it looks like a shrine, slow dancing tipsily as dinner cooks on the stove, teary eyes at animal shelter commercials between bubblegum dramas, stolen kisses in broad daylight, absentmindedly humming along to the radio on the drive to lovers lake, fleeting confessions in the purple dawn. finally, steve is the schoolgirl type of love that has you twirling and daydreaming airily before opening your window for him when he sneaks into your childhood bedroom. lovestruck forever.

*soft!boyfriend stevie owns my ♡*

[guardianspirits13]

I have never seen a single episode of Adventure Time or Fionna and Cake.

This is what I have picked up from tumblr:

-Ice King was a dilf, before he became old. He also dies in a lot of timelines

-There’s like a candyland where the wonderful Princess Bubblegum lives and i think she was fascist for a bit but got better?

-bubbeline is canon, i know that

-I think (?) that this new series takes place in the future but it might just be like an alternate timeline??

-Finn lost an arm at some point??

-also. what’s with the gender-swapping. for the longest time i thought it was just a popular au but i think it’s kind of maybe canon? maybe there was a spin-off episode?? idk??

-i could not begin to tell you the premise of this show or the actual plot.

-i will continue to say “adventure time” whenever someone asks what time it is. i also know that finn has the same va as lance from voltron

-BMO is a cutie

-that’s about it lmao

[gunterfan1992]

Episode Review: “The Star”/“Jerry”

(Fionna & Cake, Eps. 7–8)

Airdate: September 22, 2023

Story by: Anthony Burch, Adam Muto, Hanna K. Nyström, Jack Pendarvis, Kate Tsang

Storyboarded by: Iggy Craig, Graham Falk, Jacob Winkler, & Sonja von Marensdorff

Directed by: Ryann Shannon (supervising), Hans Tseng (art)

It is hard to believe that we are already privy to the penultimate episodes of the Fionna & Cake miniseries. So far, this series has been hit after hit. So do "The Star" and "Jerry" live up to what has come before them? Read on for more...

The plot to "The Star" is deceptively simple: Fionna, Cake, and Simon are transported into a universe where Simon was killed by vampires, which led to Marceline being abducted the ice crown-wielding Vampire King (once again played by the wonderfully sonorous Billy Brown) and turned into his protege, known as "The Star." While the world has been almost entirely overrun by vampires, a Mad Max-esque version of Princess Bubblegum is still putting up a hell of a fight (Mad Max Bubblegum is aided in this task by Peppermint Butler-as-a-Tank, a human[?] version of Huntress Wizard, and a non-psychopathic version of Martin). Cake's shapeshifting impresses Mad Max Bubblegum, and so she decides to enlist Fionna, Cake, and Simon's help in defeating the Vampire King and his evil 'daughter.' Alas, as goes the best-laid plans of mice and men... The episode ends on a purposeful anti-climax: Fionna, recognizing that all is effectively lost, forcibly teleports herself, Cake, and Simon away from Vampire World while Mad Max Bubblegum and The Star struggle in the sky, with neither wanting to land a killing blow. The fate of Vampire World is thus left unresolved.

As a major fan of Stakes, I was delighted to be transported back into the world of vampires in "The Star." And this time, the show does a very solid job showing just how powerful and scary these monsters actually are (despite their Kermit the Frog-meets-Nosferatu appearance). And let us not forget Evil Marceline (oh, where to start)! I quite like that Ooo's Marceline is a heroic anti-anti-Christ, but even I found the titular antagonist of "The Star" to be a terrifying delight. It has been a good long while since Marceline has rightly pranked someone, and while I don't know if killing people or sucking souls count as pranks, it was nonetheless wonderful to see her ornery side return—only this time, turned up to 11. You can tell that Olivia Olson had a lot of fun recording her lines for this episode; her performance is energetic, her tone mocking. When I heard The Star taunt Mad Max Bubblegum and Co., it took me back to when I first heard Olson's voice acting in "Evicted!"

It was a clever move having The Star and Mad Max Bubblegum be sworn enemies, as it allowed the series to explore their dynamic as a couple without focusing on their past or present relationship. In the Vampire World, we learn that the two have never been in a relationship together. But despite this, still found themselves pulled toward one another in an almost preternatural way. Who knows… Just as the souls of Finn and Jake seem to be destined to always find one another, perhaps Marceline and Bubblegum are "soul mates" in a similarly metaphysical sense? Regardless, the hesitancy to kill one another that both characters show at the end of the episode speaks volumes as to how they feel about one another, even in a universe where they are sworn enemies. (Man, I really hope we get a Bubbline spin-off one of these days…)

Ah, I feel like I could talk about the Star for days, but there is more to consider, so let me move on to…

Airdate: September 22, 2023

Story by: Anthony Burch, Adam Muto, Hanna K. Nyström, Jack Pendarvis, Kate Tsang

Storyboarded by: Hanna K. Nyström, Anna Syvertsson, Jim Campbell, & Jackie Files

Directed by: Steve Wolfhard (supervising), Hans Tseng (art)

"Jerry" begins with Fionna, Cake, and Simon finding themselves in a dead and desolate world—humorously dubbed "Crapworld" by Cake—that we later learn was created by the Lich's wish in the season five premiere "Finn the Human." (As a mythological aside, when the Lich made his initial wish, it seems that Prismo did not simply wipe out all life in the Oooniverse; instead, he effectively created a copy of the Oooniverse within the Oooniverse. After killing off all life in this bubble dimension, Prismo then transported the Lich to his new wish-altered reality. Really, it is turtles all the way down…) While searching for the Crapworld ice crown, Simon tries to cheer up an increasingly despondent Fionna by telling him the story of how he and Betty met.

Eventually, our heroes run into Crapworld BMO, who upon learning that Prismo's remote is out of juice, attempts to recharge it with his robot heart. This does not go as planned (it actually results in Crapworld BMO spectacularly exploding, which is somehow both horrifying and funny), and Simon, Fionna, and Cake decide to track down Crapworld BMO's oft-mentioned friend "Jerry" and tell him that BMO has passed. Upon finding Jerry, however, the trio discover that he is actually the Lich… albeit a depressed Lich; it seems that after fulfilling his mission of ending all life, the Lich lost a sense of purpose. (I've been there, dude...) Simon sees this as an opportunity, and using the Crapworld ice crown and the Lich himself as a conduits, he manages to summon GOLB just as Scarab materializes to deliver divine punishment.

To be continued!

"Jerry" is a decidedly bleak episode that more than anything radiates the creative sensibilities of its supervising director, Steve Wolfhard. For those out of loop, Wolfhard was a storyboard artist on the original Adventure Time series, and he helped write some of the show's strongest outings (e.g., "Puhoy," "Lemonhope," "Escape from the Citadel," "Graybles 1000+"). Wolfhard has a unique approach to writing, often using humor/cuteness to paste over more existential horrors, and while he did not storyboard "Jerry," the episode nevertheless feels like the apogee of his "voice," brimming as it does with a darkness that is only lightly covered with a veneer of humor. Indeed, many of the episode's funniest moments (e.g., the scene in which BMO cheerfully, stupidly kills itself, the reveal that the Lich has depression) cannot be described as anything other than gallows humor. Wolfhard often joked in interviews that many of the episodes he pitched involved main characters dying. With "Jerry," he finally got his chance.

Ultimately, what prevents "Jerry" from becoming a bummer-fest is the way the episode is interspersed with flashbacks that tell the story of how Simon and Betty fell in love. Despite their being the emotional heart of the episode, I do not have much to say about these scenes other than they are sweet. They largely expand upon details that we already knew, but in doing so, they enliven those details, infusing them with a sense of affect that exposition or background detailing could never convey. There's a couple easter eggs thrown in for die-hard fans (e.g., several relics from the main series are name-dropped, we see when a photograph of Simon from "I Remember You" was taken), and its all tied-up nicely with a new HALF SHY song, "Everything in You." All in all, these scenes are the sweet, sweet eye bleach we need, given the tone of the episode's other half.

My biggest gripe with these episodes is that they both lean too far into Fionna's failures while somehow not leaning in far enough. The former issue is most noticeable in "The Star," the beginning of which sees Fionna follow up her candy genocide by making a series of increasingly bone-headed decisions, one of which leads to the direct death of a character (although, Mad Max Bubblegum was also quite bone-headed for letting Random New Girl put everyone in danger immediately after introducing them to her few crew members). Put simply, I feel the episode excessively plays up Fionna as a gullible girlfail, which seems a bit much. Paradoxically, in "Jerry," the show did not have Fionna properly, fully, believably consider the ramifications of the mistakes she had made; instead, the episode focuses much of its emotional energy on the story of Simon and Betty's relationship. Yes, Fionna does have a realistic breakdown in the middle of the episode, but almost immediately, the show decides to have Simon distract her with more of his own love story. None of this sinks the episodes, but it does make them less than perfect.

For some, the episodes' bleakness might also be a defect: indeed in both "The Star" and "Jerry," lots of characters die, and the fridge horror is off the charts. But while I have criticized the show for such cruelty in the past (e.g., my review of "Wizard City"), the bleakness in these episodes is not meaningless. Instead, it arguably serves to underscore that without Simon Petrikov existing and doing all that he has in the Ooo Prime universe, the world (any world) quickly goes to hell. (This is perhaps most noticeable in "The Star," given that the big twist of that universe is that Simon was killed by vampires, presumably before he placed the ice crown on his head, thus resulting in Marceline's capture and indoctrination by the Vampire King.) Even in his crazed "Ice King" state, Simon is something like a cosmic lynchpin holding together reality! Considering how much Simon/the Ice King is a woobie in the original series, it is nice to see Fionna & Cake accentuate just how important he actually is.

Final “The Star” Grade: A-

Final “Jerry” Grade: A-