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#like god I'm enjoying lord of the rings but if I have to see one more person saying stuff lik
shiro-luvs-victor · 3 days
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Ikemen Men In Ikemen Series
(Ikepri, Ikevil, Ikegen)
Businessmen
Sueharu: "I love women."
Silvio: "Women are bitches."
Jude: "Women should be respected!"
The Kings
Gilbert: "I'm a King."
Akihito: "Me too."
William and Elbert: "So are we"
Poster bois
Leon: "Ofc that's me."
Yoritomo: "Originally it's me, but my brother gets more spotlight from fans."
William: "I'm a poster boi as well."
Leon and Yoritomo: (Why does he have white hair?)
Tsun Tsun bois
Yves: "Want some cake?"
Shigehira: *Ahem* "Not like I'm dying to eat it or anything. But since you asked, as a decent person I'll have some.......Mm....Ahhh, it's so delicious"*starry eyed*
Yves: *blushes* "Hey! Stop making that face! As if you're enjoying my cooking!"
The ZzzzzzZ
Luke: ".....zzz....Honey...."
Yoichi: "....zzz..Young..zzz...master..."
Harrison: ".....zzz....Liam...."
That guy
Nokto: "Hey, how is that girl!?"
Jin: "Yeah. She's cute but the boobs aren't big enough."
Sueharu: (At least I'm decent than these two-----Ah! Yoshino's boobs!)
Best big brothers
Luke: "I'm younger than Emma but I still treat her like my younger sister."
Harrison: "I'm not even a big brother type. I simply got added here because Kate thinks I am one.
Morinaga: "I want to see Yoshino as my little sister but I can't help it. I get these indecent thoughts about her sometimes."
Luke and Harrison: "You need help."
The most beautiful ones
Azel: "Hah. I'm a god. Of course I'm the most beautiful."
Tamamo: *flips his hair* "Hmph. Well I lived here for more than 800 years. I'm the most beautiful one."
Elbert: "..............................."
Alfons: "Lord Elbert. No." <- not included in this category, just came here to avoid potential murder.
The babies
Luke: "Believe it or not, I'm the youngest prince."
Ellis: "Nice to meet you guys too. I'm the youngest villain."
Shigehira: (Wow...they are so tall and...those muscles...)
Someone from the audience: "Don't worry Shigehira, Yoshino still loves you."
Shigehira: *blushes* "Shut up!"
The unreasonable brats
Kurama: *points his fan* "Hey! Give me everything you're wearing right now. Yes, those shiny necklaces, bracelet, rings and also the shiny items in this room. Actually, give me your whole palace. Give it all."
Silvio: "Huh!? Who the hell are you? A thief?"
Kurama: "How dare you call me a thief. Do you wanna die you bling bling covered sleazeball?"
Silvio: "Who the fuck told you that name!!?"
Kurama: "Hm? A girl looking like a brown rabbit."
Silvio: "That bitch! I'm gonna kill her for sure!"
The most loved ones
Yoshitsune: "I don't know why everyone loves me. They say I have a very innocent personality but I don't understand."*cutely tilts his head*
Jude: "I'm most popular because everyone here likes to be choked for some reason." *rests his head on his fists looking bored*
Gilbert: "Well, I'm here because I'm so handsome and everyone falls down on their knees as soon as they see me."
Yoshitsune: "Why is that?"
Jude: "Obviously because-----forget it. I was paid by a blonde guy to not taint your mind."
Chevalier: *ignoring all of them because he's listening to an audiobook*
The villains
Ibuki: "I heard you love manipulating people for fun."
Gilbert: "I heard that about you too. Looks like we're...."
Ibuki and Gilbert: "Kindred spirits" *fist bumps*
Ibuki: "I have a kid."
Gilbert: "I have raised a kid too."
Ibuki: "I have tried manipulating the evil fox princess to break her heart."
Gilbert: "I too have tried tainting little rabbit's heart."
Ibuki and Gilbert: "But I failed."
Ibuki and Gilbert: "........!"
Ibuki and Gilbert: "Hahahahaha!"
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Note
Hi! If youre still doing requests, i have kind of an odd ask , but maybe some of the upper moons' reactions to meeting Muzan's wife (reader). I also really like whipped!Muzan so maybe the other demons' reactions to seeing the demon king doting on his wife. Thank you very much :)
Hi Anon! (^○^.) I actually love this request, so thank you for sliding it into my askbox ♥
Honestly I love a powerful man - especially a powerful villain - who's just absolutely in love with their wife (♥ω♥.) and would do anything for them, it just brings me joy.
Anyway! I'm rambling abit, but here is your request! I hope I've done it justice (^ω^.) Please enjoy!
Come again to request whenever you want cause I'm always open.
Muzan Kibutsuji being whipped for his wife + Upper Moons Reactions - Headcannons:
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You know those types of men that are just unmovable pillars of stone - who look like they were carved from the finest marble by the hands of angels - who are always impeccably dressed with a voice of icy poison and just command your attention?
Who turn to the softest love-struck mush when with their wife
yeah, that's Muzan Kibutsuji with his wife (aka. you)
The finest meals, clothes and jewelry are yours with a click of his fingers - all done to make you happy, to see you smile
Anything that you mention briefly - doesn't matter if it''s a book or a holiday - its yours by the end of the day
Just one smile and a fluttering of your eyelashes has muzan on his knees - a singular pout of your lips has his mind running wild
You just have to breathe and Muzan's heart squeezes, breath stuttering in his chest as he looks at you in adoration
You could ask for the world and he'd give it too you on a platter
Muzan worships you
Each touch from you is a blessing to his skin
Each kiss sealed into him
Each word of love that falls from your lips make him drunk to hear, each sentence thick with a love that leaves hearts in his eyes and his heart thumping wildly
He wants to wear you like a brand - each mark you leave on him (bite marks and all) are worn with pride - and you (and only you) get to touch and mark his skin in such sensual ways
Under his wedding ring, his finger holds your bite mark, something that he begs you to do each day - with love-struck tears pricking his eyes - and it always makes him feel like he's properly yours
"My Love," He purrs with a voice a think velvet "My wonderful wife, my moon and stars, I love you for ever and always" and he kisses you so softly
Sometimes you have to stop this man from wearing matching clothes with you - "But Beloved,"he whimpers with a face liked a kicked puppy "I want us to match" - because he will absolutely wear a matching couples outfit
Other days he just likes sharing the same colour palette
When you worship him by placing soft kisses to his skin - his wrists, knuckles and faces - Muzan feels like he's on cloud nine
Upper Moons Reactions:
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When the upper moons first met you, it was by accident - pure accident -they'd been summoned and it just so happened that it was when muzan was just in the midst of kissing you and bathing you with compliments
Kokushibou doesn't even blink and just stands in position like a trained guard, this sight has been something he's accidentally stumbled upon a couple of times before and honestly it makes him miss his wife
Because this isn't the first time he's met you but rather the fifth, the first actually time he met you, you were incredibly respectful of him and actually treat him nicely - you became tea drinking buddies - so he quickly came to like you
Douma/Doma genuinely shrieks - like an honest to god scream - before quickly going to make fun (not a good idea) about how loving Muzan is and, "Why don't you treat us this way Muzan-sama~ You're breaking my heart~"
Akaza looks away from such an intimate scene with respect since it felt wrong to look upon his lord loving his wife - although his heart does ache for some reason when looking at such a perfect loving scene
Hantengu starts sobbing while apologizing anxiously - actually very jealous at how loving the scene is, he wants a wife and to dote on someone
Gyokko simply proclaims it as artful and simply leaves it as such
Daki Blushes a deep crimson - it makes her want a husband to dote on her so much
While Gyutaro simply sighs before looking away - much like kokushibou and akaza in respect - with jealous crawling up his ribs at such love, he wants somebody to dote on and love him so romantically
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inkskinned · 1 year
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sometimes we just need someone to pay enough attention.
for the longest time i had been trying to read The Lord of The Rings. everyone had sung the praises for it, over and over. i'd seen clips of the movie and it seemed like it could be fun, but actually reading it was fucking horrible.
my parents had the omnibus - all the books squished into one big tome - and in the 4th grade i started sort of an annual tradition: i would start trying to read TLR and get frustrated after about a month and put it back down. at first i figured i was just too young for it, and that it would eventually make sense.
but every time i came back to it, i would find myself having the exact same experience: it was confusing, weird, and dry as a fucking bone. i couldn't figure it out. how had everyone else on earth read this book and enjoyed it? how had they made movies out of this thing? it was, like, barely coherent. i would see it on "classics" list and on every fantasy/sci-fi list and everyone said i should read it; but i figured that it was like my opinion of great expectations - just because it's a classic doesn't mean i'm going to like experiencing it.
at 20, i began the process of forcing myself through it. if i had to treat the experience like a self-inflicted textbook, i would - but i was going to read it.
my mom came across me taking notes at our kitchen table. i was on the last few pages of the first book in the omnibus, and i was dreading moving on to the next. she smiled down at me. only you would take notes on creative writing. then she sat down and her brow wrinkled. wait. why are you taking notes on this?
i said the thing i always said - it's boring, and i forget what's happening in it because it's so weird, and dense. and strange.
she nodded a little, and started to stand up. and then sat back down and said - wait, will you show me the book?
i was happy to hand it over, annoyed with the fact i'd barely made a dent in the monster of a thing. she pulled it to herself, pushing her glasses up so she could read the tiny writing. for a moment, she was silent, and then she let out a cackle. she wouldn't stop laughing. oh my god. i cannot wait to tell your father.
i was immediately defensive. okay, maybe i'm stupid but i've been trying to read this since the 4th grade and -
she shook her head. raquel, this is the Silmarillion. you've been reading the Silmarillion, not the lord of the rings.
anyway, it turns out that the hobbit and lord of the rings series are all super good and i understand why they're recommended reading. but good lord (of the rings), i wish somebody had just asked - wait. this kind of thing is right up your alley. you love fantasy. it sounds like something might be wrong. why do you think it's so boring?
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appocalipse · 22 days
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summary: you were way too drunk last night and said some funny things...so, of course, steve had no other option but take you to his place to take care of you. :)
read part 1 here
˚ ༘✶ ⋆。˚ ⁀➷
Your head hurts.
Everything feels a little weird, in fact, but especially your head, spinning and throbbing and, when you try to pry your eyes open, the sudden harsh light streaming into the room feels like it's physically boring straight through your brain.
"Fuck," you whimper pitifully, eyes squeezing shut once more. Your ears are ringing, there's a coppery film lining the inside of your mouth and, for a terrible second, your stomach churns dangerously. "Fuck."
Someone hums somewhere near your right ear. A low, gravelly, vaguely amused sort of hum. There is absolutely nothing and no one alive on this green earth that would hum in that particular fashion except your best friend.
You peel your eyelids apart with great difficulty. When you tilt your head to the right, you see Steve sitting on the edge of the bed, gazing down at you with a soft look on his face.
Naturally, you proceed to freak the fuck out.
"Jesus Christ," you cry, scrambling backwards until you feel the back of your head slam against the headboard with a resounding thud. The dull throb in the back of your skull intensifies, and you have to fight back the urge to throw up. "Ow! Shit, I—What—what happened? Why are you in my—"
Hold on a second...this is not your room.
You cast an anxious, furtive glance around the unfamiliar setting of Steve Harrington's guest room. Panic floods your veins and has your heart hammering in your chest when you notice that you're clad in only one of his shirts and sweatpants that definitely don't belong to you.
Oh, Dear Lord.
Did something happen last night that you can't remember? Did something — oh, God, no.
Steve raises his eyebrows at you as though he can read your mind. "Relax. Nothing happened, relax, come back down," he coos gently, placing a placating hand on your arm. "And I...I didn't see anything, if that's what you're worried about. Nancy and Robin, uh...they helped you shower and get changed last night. Not me."
You cover your face with both hands, letting out a muffled groan as your memories come trickling back in. You don't remember every little detail from the previous night, but what you do remember is already more than enough to fill you with mortification and regret.
"...you said some pretty interesting things while you were drunk, though."
"Shut up," you mumble, peeking up at him through splayed fingers, "go away."
"Really, though," Steve continues, the teasing glint in his eyes a sure sign that he is very much enjoying your suffering, "who knew you found me so attractive?"
"Oh, Jesus," you mutter, groaning as you slide down to hide underneath the comforter, "where are my clothes? I want to leave now."
Steve snickers but makes no move to get up from his perch on the bed. You can hear the rustling of fabric, like he's adjusting his position as he waits for you to come out from under the blanket. "Clothes are in the wash, sorry," he says, sounding very much not sorry at all. "You, um, thought it was a good idea to lie down on the grass last night."
"Kill me now."
"Nope," he chirps, quite cheerfully so, "can't do that, because then who would watch Back to the Future with me tonight?"
You part the comforter just enough to peer up at him from beneath the thick layer of blanket.
"'Back to the Future'?" you echo, trying to ignore the fact that you feel a little lightheaded when Steve smiles down at you.
He looks nice. He always does, but even more so now for some reason — you're guessing it has something to do with the fact that you just woke up and haven't had the time to mentally prepare yourself for seeing him up close yet.
"Mmhmm. You up for it?"
"I'm pretty sure that my head is literally going to explode any time now." 
It's really not that bad anymore, but Steve doesn't need to know that, does he?
He nods seriously in agreement. "Right, because you drank way more than you should've last night. Might have mentioned something about rules and...mhmm, what was it? Oh, yes, dying if I didn't let you touch my hair…?"
"No, I didn't."
"You really did," he tells you, leaning back on the heels of his palms, "but don't worry, it was cute."
"I am very much worried," you say miserably.
Steve lets out a quiet sigh and leans forward again, hands reaching out to tug the blanket down far enough to uncover your face completely. "Come on," he says, "do you need anything? Aspirin, maybe? Food? Water?"
You consider his offer, taking the time to mull it over while you avoid his gaze. 
"Why did you bring me home with you?" you ask, curious despite yourself. "Why didn't you just take me home?"
"You, uh...really didn't want me to. Pretty much refused to let go of me all night."
"Steve."
"No, really!" he insists, holding both hands up in surrender. "It was like trying to pry a koala off a tree. You even asked—"
You let out a helpless moan of protest and turn away from him as much as you can, hiding your face in the pillow. Steve laughs, clearly delighted by the fact that he's managed to thoroughly embarrass you in less than ten minutes.
"You asked me if I—"
"I don't wanna know!"
"—would sleep in your bed with you."
"Nope," you whisper, your voice coming out a little garbled due to the way you've pressed your face into the pillows, "don't wanna hear it. Shut up, Steve, oh my God. Please."
"It was very adorable."
"I was drunk."
"Still. Cute."
You prop your head up on your elbow so that you can see him a little better, keeping the blanket held tightly around your shoulders as you do. "Sorry I called you. I don't even remember doing it, Tina just told me to and…sorry."
Steve looks down at his lap, shifting a little uncomfortably on the bed.
"I don't mind," he says, lifting his gaze up to meet yours briefly. "You said you missed me. At the party."
A dry, humorless chuckle leaves you and you cringe when the sudden motion sends a sharp pain lancing through your forehead. "Ow. Of course you would remember that," you say, cheeks heating up.
"Do you...remember everything?"
You blink, momentarily confused by the sudden change in conversation. "Everything?" you ask, more to buy yourself some time than anything else.
"You, um..." Steve trails off, clearly unsure of how to broach the topic with you, "you said I made you feel…stuff inside. That you felt stuff. Or something like that. Do you...remember saying that?"
You can practically feel all the color draining out of your face, leaving behind a blank canvas that hides none of your inner panic. 
"Uh...no, no, I don't. Do you have a...I need to, um, use your bathroom, like, right now, if you don't mind."
Steve blinks. "Oh, okay. Sure. I bought you a toothbrush earlier, by the way. It's in the medicine cabinet if...if you want."
"Yep," you say, climbing out from under the blanket with as much dignity as you can muster (which is very little), "yep, okay, thanks. I'm...gonna go do that. Now. Okay, bye."
You spend a good five minutes inside the bathroom splashing water in your face while silently wishing for death to come claim you sooner rather than later. Then, you brush your teeth with the toothbrush Steve left out for you — which is totally not cute, it's not cute, why did he do that, ugh, damn him — before venturing out into the hall.
"Steve?"
"Kitchen," he calls out from somewhere at the bottom of the stairs, "you want pancakes?"
You hesitate.
The idea of staying to have breakfast alone with Steve Harrington seems oddly intimate after last night, a dangerous prospect that will undoubtedly lead to awkward small talk and more teasing. However, he did go out of his way to buy you a toothbrush this morning...
You swallow down the nervousness you feel and pad barefoot down the staircase into the foyer, following the sounds of clinking utensils and soft humming to the kitchen.
Steve looks up from his place at the stove when you appear in the doorway.
"Hey," he greets, giving you a quick once over. "How's your head?"
"Feels like there's a little person in there hitting it repeatedly with a little hammer," you admit, grimacing a little as you come further into the room and sit down at the island. "Thanks, by the way. For helping me out last night. And today. I really am sorry for...um, you know, that."
"'That'?"
You purse your lips and Steve grins.
"Yes, that," you mutter, swiveling your seat from left to right while you watch him attempt to read a recipe on the back of a box of pancake mix. "Drunk me is like, twice as embarrassing as sober me."
"Embarrassing isn't the word I'd use."
"Please," you scoff, "I was pathetic. I could barely walk by myself."
Steve glances back at you. "I didn't think you were pathetic."
You raise an eyebrow at him skeptically.
"Okay, maybe a little pathetic," he concedes with a little snort, "but mostly just…sweet."
"Sweet?"
"Yeah, sweet. Don't know if anyone's ever told you that before."
"Sweet," you say again, the headache suddenly no more than an afterthought. "That's how you'd describe me?"
Steve, apparently having given up on making sense out of the instructions on the back of the box, turns around to lean against the counter behind him and studies you with his arms folded loosely over his chest.
"Yes," he says, tilting his head to the side a little. "Not the word you expected me to say?"
There's something about the way he's looking at you. It's warm and piercing all at once, like he can see right through you. It makes it hard for you to breathe all of a sudden, hard for you to do anything but gape at him like a goldfish that's been pulled out of water.
"Uh, I'm...confused."
"Me too," he admits with a little huff of laughter. "I was thinking about what you said."
"About your hair?"
"No, well, yeah, but—" Steve pauses, dragging a hand down his face with a weary sigh. "Look, what you said to me yesterday, about the things I make you feel, I—"
"I said I'm sorry—"
"Don't apologize," Steve interrupts, shooting you an unamused look, "I'm trying to say something here, come on, give me a sec."
"Right. Sorry. Go on."
"You're not supposed to apologize for apologizing."
"I'm s—okay, right. Mouth shut."
Steve purses his lips to stifle his amusement at your antics. You fold your arms in front of your chest and keep your gaze fixed firmly on the marble countertop as you wait for him to continue.
"I, uh," he says, pushing himself away from the counter so that he can wander over to the other side of the kitchen, where you sit, "I feel things too, you know. With you."
"Oh."
"Yeah," Steve chuckles, scrubbing a hand across the back of his neck as he stops beside you, "'Oh'. Weird, right?"
You'd like to, but can't think of anything clever to say that would serve as a suitable response. You don't think Steve's looking for one, anyway, because he reaches out to tap his fingers lightly on the back of your hand, taking a seat on the stool next to yours.
"S'weird, 'cause I don't know if you meant what you said when you were drunk, or if it was just the alcohol talking, or what."
You shake your head quickly, and then wince because of the way the headache thuds behind your right eye.
"Robin says I'm an idiot and should stop being such a chicken," he continues, with a slight roll of his eyes. "And Eddie says if I don't 'shut up and tell you how I feel soon', he'll do it for me."
You nod, smiling despite your hangover. "Eddie's, uh, got a point, no?"
"Maybe," Steve allows, rubbing absently at the side of his neck.
He lets his hands slide down to the legs of your stool, fingers curling around the metal of each side. You don't quite understand what he's doing until he gives them a light tug, jerking you closer to him without warning.
You let out a little shriek of surprise as you reach up to clutch onto the first solid thing your hands find — his forearms. 
"Ah! What—Steve!"
He's got an amused smile on his face, but his eyes are bright and nervous all at once. Steve pushes your stool even closer to him, until your knees knock against his own and he's forced to lean down to keep his eyes on you.
You hold his gaze steadily as he edges closer. "What are you doing?" you murmur, watching his eyes flit downward to track the movement of your tongue as it peeks out to wet your dry lips.
"Not sure yet," Steve hesitates when your lips are a hairsbreadth apart. He watches, half-dazed, half-entranced by the way you stare back at him, unblinking. "But I've got a theory."
"A theory?"
He lowers his head toward yours. You press your hands flat against the hard plane of his chest to steady yourself, fingers splaying over the soft material of his t-shirt as you curl them around the fabric. Steve exhales, and you can feel his breath on your skin, a soft tickle that raises the goosebumps all over your skin.
"Wanna hear it?"
You nod slowly, aware of the way his eyes darken as they trace your face. He's so close that you can make out the fine dusting of freckles and moles that litter his skin, the long fan of his lashes as they flutter to a close. If you moved even slightly, your lips would brush against his.
"What's your…your theory?" you whisper.
You can feel his heartbeat thudding in his chest as he releases his hold on your stool, lifts both hands up to cradle your face instead. He slides the tips of his fingers along the side of your neck, lets his thumb trace your jaw.
"I think," Steve says, and you can tell he's struggling to string two coherent words together when you feel his thumb quiver against your cheekbone. "I think that, uh, you're—Christ, I—"
His nose brushes against yours and you tilt your chin up instinctively, chasing the brief contact. You smirk. "Christ, you...?"
"Shut up," Steve huffs out a breathless laugh. "I'm getting to it."
"Are you?" you tease, wrapping your fingers around his wrist, your turn to pull him towards you gently.
Steve goes easily, moving his hand from your face to brace the back of your neck. "I think," he starts, eyes crinkling at the corners, "that I might be in love with you."
It's such an unforeseen, unexpected confession that your heart almost gives out in your chest. 
You gape up at him, at his crooked grin, at his rosy cheeks. "You think?"
He blinks and then squints down at you like he can't decide whether he wants to be annoyed at your antics or kiss you. You hope for the latter, but he says, "What're you, a parrot?"
Shrugging, you're unable to keep your lips from quirking into a grin of your own. "Rude."
Steve's head falls forward and he rests his forehead against yours. You can feel his pulse thundering wildly against the hand you've pressed flat against his chest, and it makes you feel a little better about your own pounding heart.
"M'sorry."
You smooth a hand over his shirt and hook a finger under the neckline. "Forgiven," you tell him.
"Good," Steve says, nudging his nose against yours playfully.
You want to say something else, maybe tease him about his hair or something equally as inconsequential, but he doesn't let you. Instead, he leans down and closes the distance between you with a slow, tentative press of his lips to yours.
Now, Steve's mouth is soft and warm, and he kisses you like he's got all the time in the world. You shiver when he drags his fingers up the back of your neck, tangling them in your hair so that he can pull you closer yet.
You only pull back when the need to breathe becomes too urgent, giggling at the little noise of protest he lets out as you do. But Steve is nothing if not persistent, and he pulls you back in almost immediately, the movement so abrupt that you nearly topple backwards off the stool.
"Steve—I..." you manage to say, between your giggles and the heated press of his lips against yours. "I still...need to breathe, mister."
He huffs out a little laugh against the side of your neck, nips at the sensitive skin in retaliation. You squeal in delight and jab him playfully in the stomach, laughing as he recoils in mock agony.
"Stop laughing," Steve complains, the warmth of his own laughter tickling the underside of your chin when he nuzzles his nose into your neck once more, "come on, you're ruining the moment."
"Wait," you breathe, right before his lips meet yours again, "so...no pancakes, then?"
He drops his forehead against your shoulder and shakes with quiet laughter."You," Steve mumbles into the side of your neck, "are something else, you know that?"
You grin. "Apparently, you like that. Love that...no?"
You can feel him smile, the stretch of his lips curving against the skin of your shoulder.
"Apparently...yeah, I do. I do."
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barefoot-joker · 2 months
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Destined for Heaven, Stolen by the Devil~ Yandere!Lucifer X Reader
Hey, guys and welcome to another Lucifer story. I'm sorry I write for him a lot. I just find to him be a very relatable character and I love him so much! Anyway, this fic deals with heavy Christianity themes, so I did my best to research. If something is wrong, please tell me and I'll do my best to fix it. I was very inspired by the song 'The Plagues' from "The Prince of Egypt". As always, I hope you enjoy and have a great day/night!
Words: 2899
Warnings: Heavy Christianity Themes/Beliefs, Swearing, Christianity Mocking, Slight Possessive Tendencies, Reader's Aunt likes crystals, Reader Dies, Kidnapping?
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I sighed as my mother pulled a light blue cardigan over my shoulders. She dusted off my dress and fixed my hair so that I looked presentable. Today was Sunday so that meant we had to go to church. I wasn’t too fond of going and I would have rather been playing in the backyard as a twelve year old does. However, my mom made it her duty to take me and make me a good Christian girl. “Why do we have to go, mom? It’s soooo boring!”
I stuck out my tongue at her. She gently pushed it back in. “You know I want our family to have a good relationship with the Lord. It’s our Christian duty. Besides, going to church is in your blood. After all-”
“Yeah, yeah. God told you that I was destined to be a wife for Adam. How can you believe that? It came to you in a dream.”
“Y/n M/n L/n! You do not question God’s ways! You know better! Now come on, we don’t want to be late.”
Dragging me by the hand, she ushered me into the family Cadillac and sped off. I sighed heavily. There were so many things I’d rather be doing than go to church. I could be with my friends, heck I could be at my cool Aunt’s house. “Hey, mom?”
“Yes, dear?”
“When are we going to visit Aunt Hailey? When she called you said we’d be seeing her soon.”
“I only said that to get her off my back. You know how I feel about her.”
I grunted and crossed my arms. Aunt Hailey was seen as the black sheep in the family all because she was wealthy. A lot of our relatives (my mother included) thought she sold her soul to the Devil in order to be immensely rich and refused to interact with her. I, however, thought she was so cool. When she used to come over she’d regale to me hundreds of stories about her travels around the world. She even showed me her cool crystal collection when we went over to her house a few times. “Now don’t be like that. It’s not ladylike.”
I grunted again and slid down in the tan leather seat. A few minutes later the car was parked in the church parking lot and I was being dragged inside. Sometimes I wish I had siblings so I wasn’t the only one to feel mom’s wrath. She seated us near the front and handed me the heavy white Bible from the pew. I robotically turned to the page with the Lord’s prayer and stood when Pastor Bob entered. We began reciting the Lord’s prayer and sang a hymn before we sat. I didn’t pay much attention as our Priest told us his sermon for the day but I didn’t dare to look around the room. I had to look the part after all. Fidgety, I played with my ring finger. Glancing down, I took in the birthmark that oddly looked like an apple. I remember it showing up after I stayed at Aunt Hailey’s house one day. I never told my mother about it though. I was often reminded of the tale of Eve and the apple and I don’t know what she would do if ever saw the fruit insignia. After the sermon and another hymn, it was time for communion. We all stood in line and when it was my turn I took the small Ritz cracker and ate it. I coughed lightly and then took a sip from the golden chalice. My mom and I returned to our seats and when everyone was done, we recited the Lord’s prayer one final time. Thank goodness it was over. 
As we walked out, I was forced to shake hands with our elderly Pastor. “How is my favorite little disciple doing today?”
I cringed at that. Ever since my mother told the church of her insane dream I was treated like some goddess. “Good.”
“That’s great to hear. I look forward to our weekly blessing.”
“Of course, Pastor Bob,” my mom butted in, “we wouldn’t miss it.”
He smiled and bid us both ado. We walked back to the car and drove home. As we passed by houses in our neighborhood, I looked longingly at the kids playing. Besides church, Sunday was dedicated to my education of becoming a housewife so when I did die and go to Heaven I was prepared. Parking the car, we went inside. I slipped off my Mary Janes and put them by the door. The rest of the day was spent cleaning, doing embroidery work and cooking. Just as I was getting ready for bed, the phone rang. I went into the kitchen and picked up the landline. “Hello?”
“Is my dear Y/n there?”
“This is her.”
“It’s your Aunt Hailey.”
“Auntie! Hi! How are you?”
She chuckled. “I am good, my darling. And you? Surviving another day in that stuffy house?”
I giggled at her commentary. “I’ve been okay. What can I do for you?”
“I was wondering when you can come over. I was talking with a friend the other day and he would like to meet you properly. I believe he saw you at my house when you were five.”
“I’d love to come over! Let me ask mom real quick.”
I walked into the living room and pressed the phone to my chest. “Hey, mom. Aunt Hailey’s on the phone. She wants to know when I can come over.”
She looked up from her book and glared at the phone. “You know my answer.”
“Come on, mom! It’ll just be for a day!”
“I don’t know.”
“Please! I promise when I get back I’ll focus on my wifely duties! Please!”
I gave her puppy dog eyes and slightly whimpered. She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Alright. You can go tomorrow, but I expect you to stay true to your promise. You know how God would feel if you went back on your word.”
“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!”
I lifted the phone up to my ear and quickly ran into the kitchen. “She said I can come tomorrow.”
“Wonderful! I’ll see you then, my dear.”
“Bye, Auntie!”
“Goodbye for now, darling.”
I ended the call and put the phone back on the receiver. I returned to the living room where mom and I did our nightly prayer. When we finished, she gave my forehead a kiss and sent me to bed. 
The next morning I dressed in a plaid dress shirt, brown capri pants and black oxfords. I bounced in the passenger seat giddily as my mother parked the car in my Aunt’s gravel driveway. “Now remember to behave. I don’t need any calls about your disobedience.”
“I’ll be good, I will.”
“That’s my girl. And you have your cross necklace?”
“Yes, mom. Can I go now?”
She kissed my forehead and I got out of the car. “Be safe! Call me if something happens and I’ll be back around dinner to pick you up!”
“Okay mom, bye!”
I waved and she drove off. I turned towards my relative’s mansion and walked up the stone steps. I grabbed the handle from the golden lion’s head and gave three loud knocks on the large oak door. The door opened to reveal Timothy, my Hailey’s middle aged butler. “Ah Miss Y/n, we were expecting you. Please come in.”
He stood to the side and allowed me inside. Closing the door, he led me across the marble floor to one of the drawing rooms near the back. I could hear muffled voices talking as we entered, Timothy clearing his throat. “Your niece is here, madam.”
“Thank you, Timothy. That will be all.”
He bowed and exited the room. My Auntie smiled and gestured for me to come over. I ran to her and gave her a big hug. Her navy silk and lace dress clung to me. “It’s so good to see you, darling! I’ve missed you so!”
“I’ve missed you too!”
I pulled away and she motioned to the gold and floral print armchair next to her. I sat and looked at her guest on the chaise lounge. He seemed quite the esteemed gentleman. He had slicked back blonde hair, pale skin and red eyes. I found them quite odd but didn’t judge. Mother said it was bad to judge based upon appearances. He wore a white suit with a red dress shirt, a black tie with black flower detailing, black leather gloves and shiny black dress shoes. He was on the shorter side as well. “Y/n, I’d like you to meet my friend Luci. He’s the one to thank for my wealth.”
The man stood and bowed to me. He took my hand and kissed my apple birthmark. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, my little apple. Your Aunt has told me so much about you.”
“It’s good to meet you too, sir.”
“So polite. Your mother is raising you right.”
“Except for the amount of gospel she puts in my poor baby’s head. I swear all because of her fucking dream, she’s gone total Bible thumper.”
Luci titled his head to the side. “Oh you’ll have to tell me over tea. Speaking of which, I think Timothy has finished setting up the garden for us.”
“Splendid!”
We all stood and the blonde offered me his arm. I gladly took it and we walked outside to Hailey’s marble floored porch. A metal table sat in the middle overlooking her large flower garden, a lacy white tablecloth set on top. Luci pulled out my chair and after I sat, pushed it in. He sat next to me and began pouring tea for all of us. Today Timothy had picked out the clear glass kettle so we could see the yellow liquid inside and the pastel teacups. I thanked Auntie’s friend when he poured into my cup and marveled at the small pink flower floating. “I see we’re having chrysanthemum tea. You know it’s your Auntie’s favorite.”
I giggled and picked up my cup. Blowing a little, I took a sip and smiled at the sweet taste. “So you were talking about Y/n’s mother?”
“Ah yes. She’s always been a Christian woman, believing in the power above. Then one night she had a dream, a vision she calls it, that Y/n is to be the third wife of the first man Adam. Ever since then she’s been obsessively devoted and is dragging my poor niece with her.”
“I see.”
Luci seemed to become stiff at the mention of Heaven and God. Perhaps it was a touchy subject?
“So God came to her and said this, hm?”
“Sure as shit supposedly.”
The three of us sipped our tea in silence. “So has school been going, my dear?”
“Good, Auntie. We learned how to do cursive in English the other day so now I can write my name all fancy!”
“That’s great, darling. Anything else?”
“I’ve been feeling kind of left out lately.”
Both adults turned to me in curiosity. “How so?”
“Well none of the other kids my age are really learning wifely duties, at least not as much as me. When I want to go outside and play mom forces me to do my skills.”
“Wifely duties? Pray do tell,” Luci cocked an eyebrow.
“I learned how to clean the house from top to bottom, cook all three meals, sew, embroider, and do laundry. Basically anything my mom deems necessary to please this angelic husband of mine.”
“I can assure you it will come in handy. Especially with how much of pigish brute he is.”
“How do you know?”
“I just got that impression when I’ve read his passages in the Bible, sweetie.”
“Oh.”
“If you had a real man I can be sure you wouldn’t need those skills, darling,” Auntie piped up, sipping her tea.
“A real man? Like who?”
“Like Luci for example!”
I turned to the blonde and he smiled. His eyes glinted with what looked like adoration. He gently grabbed my hand and held it, his hands quite warm through his gloves. He brought it to his lips and kissed the back of my hand. “It’s true. If you were my wife you wouldn’t want for nothing. Every day would be spent in marital bliss.”
“Sounds gross!”
He chuckled and kissed my hand again. “When you’re older you’ll come to love it.”
‘If you say so.”
“I know so.”
The rest of the afternoon was spent listening to Luci’s tales from his travels while drinking our tea. They were quite intriguing and full of adventure. The people he met, the places he went were all so fascinating. It soon became dinner time and true to her word my mom sat in the driveway. Luci walked me to the door and gave a little bow. “It was a pleasure to chat with you, Y/n. I have a feeling we will see each other more in the future.”
“I hope so. You’re so cool, Luci!”
He smirked and patted my head. “Farewell, little lady.”
“Goodbye, Luci!”
I gave him a quick hug before running to the car.
Sure enough as I grew up I ran into the short blonde more often than not. From trips to the grocery store to when I was allowed at Aunt Hailey’s house, we would bump into each other. We’d always exchange a few words and always those red eyes sparkled bright around me. 
That was eleven years ago. Now I lay in a hospital bed, feeling like I was on the brink of death. A few years after meeting Luci I had gotten terribly ill. I was feverish, pale and felt nauseous. My mother was worried and took me to the clinic. I was just diagnosed with the flu. I took my medicine and stayed in bed as best as possible but the final straw was when I fainted in the backyard while gardening. Since then, I had been in and out of hospital with different doctors viewing me like prize cattle. I was poked, prodded and dug at only to be told no one had a clue as to why I was sick. It was like it had just fallen upon me. My mother became even more obsessive in her Christian ways. I was blessed every weekend and prayed upon every day to try and heal my mysterious illness. I was forced to drink holy water at every opportunity and had to wear my cross necklace with two rosaries. 
Currently, I was coughing so hard I felt like I dislocated my lungs. My mother sat next to me holding my hand, a rosary wrapping around us. As I continued to cough she pushed some hair out of my face. “You’re going to be alright, honey. Just stay strong.”
After my coughing fit, I laid back and tried to catch my breath. “I feel like I’m dying.”
Her hand tightened around mine and I could feel her body shake with sobs. “Maybe this is God’s way of letting us know Adam needs you. As much as I’d hate to see my baby go, you’d finally fulfill your purpose.”
“Mom, please. Not now.”
“I’m sorry.”
A knock at the door made us both look over. There in the entryway stood Luci, his white hat with the dark red band hanging tightly in his hands. “Come in.”
He stepped forward and gave a small smile. “Hey, how are you feeling?”
“Like shit.”
“Y/n! Language!”
“Sorry.”
He chuckled and came to my side, putting a hand on my shoulder. “May I have a moment alone, please?”
My mom looked at me and I gave a curt nod. She sighed and stood. “I’ll go get something to eat. I’ll be back later, honey.”
She gave my forehead a kiss and walked out, shutting the door behind her. Luci took her place in the chair next to my bed. “What can I do for you, handsome?”
“I wanted to come see you. Hailey told me how you were faring and I knew I needed to come immediately.”
“I appreciate that. Especially since I feel like this may be the last time you see me.”
“Nonsense. We will always find each other, even in death.”
He brought his hand up and caressed my cheek. I smiled and then began coughing. I turned away and hacked into my arm, only turning back when I was done. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
His hand wrapped around mine and squoze tightly. “You know, I could end your suffering right now.”
“Yeah right.”
“I’m not lying to you, my dear. One small kiss and you’d go peacefully.”
“Luci-”
“And then we can be together forever. Adam, not even Heaven will keep you from me.”
“What are you talking about?” “Just kiss me.”
What could go wrong? I was already suffering so much.
“...Alright.”
He leaned forward and connected our lips. He tasted sweet like caramel apples and I just melted. My soul felt like it was being sucked out of my body and when he pulled away I couldn’t breathe. “You’re mine, little apple. Forever and always.”
He caressed my hand and my eyes closed.
The beeping of the heart monitor slowed and then faded to silence all together.
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daydreaming-nerd · 16 days
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Young Love and Old Money (Cassian x Female! Reader) Part 9
Young Love and Old Money Masterlist
AN: Okay remember when I said there would be a lot more angst? Well here we are. We have arrived at angst station, everybody off the train. This part is so dramatic I really laid it on thick here. Regardless I hope you enjoy and I will try to get part 10 up ASAP!!!
Summary: She was the most beautiful woman in Prythian, sister to the High Lord of Night, and now she is the soon-to-be wife of Eris Vanserra. Despite her many titles and her aura of unattainability, Cassian can't help but fall deeply in love with the princess of the Night Court. But will it be enough to stop her impending wedding to a man who is sure to destroy her from the inside out?
Warnings: Sexism, super heavy angst, this got really dark, violence, blood, implied rape (but not described), did I mention violence?, (I'm sorry you guys.)
Word Count: 6,333
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The next morning I wake up in my own bed and I don’t move for hours. 
Thankfully, after about an hour of crying by the Sidra, Azriel found me and took me back to the House of Wind.  Apparently Cassian had sent him, which gave me a little bit  of hope. That is until I went to his door and found his room empty. According to Azriel he left for Windhaven after returning home to pack a bag.  I didn’t need to interrogate further to know that Cassian wouldn’t be back before the wedding. 
I spent the entire day before the wedding in bed, staring at the sliver of light on the floor that the curtains let into the darkened room. Everytime I close my eyes I could hear Cassian and I’s laughter, which made me unable to fall asleep. When I wasn’t reminiscing over memories of Cassian I was listening intently to the sounds of the house, hoping I would hear his heavy boots thudding back to his room. I just wanted to see him one last time. 
However, those footsteps never came, and I found myself staring at the wall until my body gave up on me, from either exhaustion or hunger and I fell asleep.
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Cassian’s pov: 
The second I landed in Windhaven I cracked open a bottle of whiskey and downed a glass praying it would allow me to sleep. Of course I was wrong. 
The entire night I saw images of y/n holding that little girl in her arms. God I had practically melted right then and there, thinking about what she would look like holding our own children. How adorable they would be with their tiny wings. 
My sleepless night had carried over with me the next day, everything and everyone putting me on edge. A young Illyrian had dropped their sword while sparring and I blew up at him. Devlon tried to argue that the females shouldn’t be training and I nearly slammed his head into a wall.
I was aggressively sharpening my swords on the edge of the sparring ring when Azriel found me, my brother simply  nodded his head towards the center as if to say “blow off some steam big fella.” I couldn’t turn him down, as he was the only one who could give me a run for my money, and today he sure did. 
“You fight like shit and you look like shit too brother,” Azriel barked after beating me again. He tossed his sword to the ground seemingly calling it quits for the day. 
“Yeah well my mate is about to marry another male in the next 12 hours so how did you expect to find me?” I gripe at him taking my seat on a weathered rock. 
“I suppose I wouldn’t know what to do in your situation either,” he admitted, taking a seat next to me. 
“Seems about right for me. Grew up a bastard and lived in the mud till you and Rhys’ sorry asses came along. Lost my mother and never even got to bury her, fought for 500 years, and then became mated to the princess, who is marrying another male.”  I scoff, shaking my head at the ridiculousness. “I’ll give the mother one thing, at least she’s consistent.”
Azriel was quiet for a moment, as if taking in what I had said before clapping a hand on my back, “The pain, it will go away Cass. It will take time, but I will be there with you every step of the way.” he assured me, and for a moment I felt a little lighter. 
“Get wasted with me tomorrow?” I ask more seriously than I should.
“You know I will,” he said, offering me a slight smile. 
I hoped that Rhys had gotten some more whiskey since the last time I raided his cabinet, because I don’t think any amount of drink could make me forget the way she looked at me the first morning we woke up together. The way she would laugh when I kissed her cheeks, the feeling of her delicate hands running soap over my wings. How she would say “you need a bath!” when I would give her a sweaty hug after training. The face she made when I distracted her from one of her romance novels by tickling her feet that rested in my lap.  
By the cauldron, I was a dead man. 
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y/n's pov:
Stepping into the Autumn Court felt like I was walking to my own execution. Instead of Eris being at the end of that aisle there would be a guillotine. I almost wished for that instead. Any comment made by Rhys about how I seemed tired I chalked up to pre-wedding nerves and thankfully he didn’t push after that. 
The entire morning had been spent poking and prodding at my skin, my hair and my eyes.  If I thought that Nuala and Cerridwen were meticulous I was sorely mistaken. The ladies of the Autumn Court didn’t mess around and if this was my life going forward (which sadly it was), cauldron boil me. 
The ladies in wait primped me up until a half an hour before I walked down the aisle. I had to literally commande them out of my suite in order to have a moment alone. I sat staring at myself in the floor length mirror. For what it was worth, I looked beautiful. I half expected the dress that was chosen for me to be  awful and gaudy, however it was elegant. The lace along the neckline mimicking the flames associated with Eris’ power. Had I been walking down the aisle to a different groom, I might venture to say that I was excited to be married. However as I stared at myself in my white wedding dress I couldn’t help but feel a tear slide down my face. 
A tentative knock reverberated through the room, nearly making me jump out of my skin. I took a deep breath and wiped away a stray tear. 
“Come in,” I said with shaky words looking at the double oak doors through the mirror before me.
The door opened slowly, whoever it was looking around the room before entering. A large figure finally popped it’s head in, eyes finding me immediately. I would know that jet black hair anywhere. 
Cassian. 
I whirled around to meet his gaze as he shut the door, taking slow and tentative steps towards me. His eyes searched my face for any hint of anger or resentment. 
“Cass,” I breathed, as if to assure myself he was really there. 
“You look beautiful,” he smiled looking me up and down, but I could see the veiled sadness on his face. He was putting on a front, and a bad one at that.
“Thank you,” I say, taking a tentative step towards him. “How did you get in here?”
“They don’t have you that well guarded,” he chuckled, stepping closer till he stood before me. Neither of us reached for one another, unsure of where we both stood. It felt wrong not to instantly wrap my arms around him. “I don’t like where we left things,” he continued.
“Neither do I,”   
“I wanted to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I yelled at you that night. I’m sorry about the things I said,” he starts again. His hands reach for mine but pull back as if afraid to touch me. “I wanted to say that I understand now. And that I think you are incredibly brave to be doing this for Velaris. I’ll never be happy that you’re marrying Eris, and I’ll always wish it was me. But I understand now, and I respect the love you have for your people, and the lengths you’re willing to go to to keep them safe. Will you forgive me?” 
I feel the stray tear pricking my eye once more, “There was never anything to forgive Cass. I was more upset with myself for giving you false hope. For going along and loving you and acting like things were going to be alright when I couldn’t guarantee it.” I sigh, casting my head down, unable to face him.
I feel his gentle calloused hand tip my chin up to meet his gaze. His eyes, that beautiful hazel, glassed over. Despite it all, despite what I put him through, there is still so much love in them, and I know I’ll never really deserve it.
“Loving you was the greatest gift I’ve ever known, and ever will know,” he smiles as if he’s remembering the short time we did have together. “I’ll be here waiting if you should ever change your mind or in case something ever happens.” 
“Cass,” I start to protest but he stops me.
“I’ve loved you for so many years y/n. There can be no one else but you. If I don’t get to have you until we are both old and gray so be it. I’ve waited this long,” he assures me cupping my cheek.  
I don’t even have words to reply to his confession. Boundaries be damned. I threw myself around him pulling him as close as possible. His arms tighten around me like he had been waiting for me to make a move. In the embrace there’s an understanding, an unsaid agreement.
I back away to see those hazel eyes once more, my own eyes raking over his body. I notice he’s not dressed in a fine suit jacket, or even his fighting leathers. Instead, he’s donning a loose fitted shirt, something completely unfit for a royal wedding. 
“You’re not staying are you?” I ask, pressing a hand to his stubbled cheek that tells me he didn’t shave this morning.
“No, I just had to see you one last time,”  he answers, taking my hand from his cheek so he could hold both of them. 
The weight of his words shoot right through me, and as I look at him, I let them sink in. I watched as a tear slid down his own cheek, it was the only time I had ever seen the general cry. 
“One last time,” I repeated, letting the words consume me. 
His eyes glanced down at my lips, a silent plea to taste them again,
“Can I?” he whispered. 
“Gods yes,” I sigh. 
A hand drifted up cupping my cheek and pulling me into a kiss. The last kiss we might ever share. I poured every ounce of love into it trying to give him something to remember me by, trying to savor every moment of it for when my days ahead were darkest. My chest heaved as if being pulled forward and then…
Snap.
It was as if a piece of me was returned, one I never knew I lost. I pulled back to meet his gaze and by the way he looked at me I could tell he knew, had known. I felt like I was truly seeing him for the first time as that shimmering golden bond glowed between us.
“You’re my-” I started but I jumped at the bang sounding throughout the room. 
My eyes met the fiery auburn of Eris’ as he entered the room, at least twenty autumn court soldiers behind him. I didn’t have time to step away as he winnowed to me pulling me away from Cassian. 
“You!” he seethed at my general who was already assessing the situation. “I had my suspicions but never the proof and you fell into my trap so easily.” he boasted.  
My thoughts scrambled to what Cassian had said earlier…”They don’t have you that well guarded.”
“Restrain the bastard!” Eris ordered his grip on my arm tightening at the command. 
“No!” I screamed lurching for Cassian but Eris hauled me back to him. 
The soldiers were on him in an instant all of them falling like dominos before The Lord of Bloodshed. Cassian’s eyes blazed with a fury by the likes of which I had never seen before, he wasn’t a general protecting his princess. He was a male protecting his mate. 
Eris’ body tensed behind mine as soldier after soldier fell. In an act of desperation I felt him unsheathe the dagger at his thigh, pressing the blade to my throat. 
“Oh general,” Eris sang. 
It was enough to catch Cassian’s attention for a split second, his eyes widening as he saw the position I was in. A  rogue soldier used the small window of time to pull his dagger and stab it through Cassian’s side. 
“NO!” I screamed as Cassian hissed, his knees hitting the floor. Immediately the rest of the soldiers were on him, restraining him and binding his wings. His siphons tried to come to light but sputtered out.
“Bloodbane,” Eris smiles, lowering the dagger from my throat. “Stings like a bitch doesn’t it?” 
“Eris please, don’t do this. He’s my mate, I didn’t know until now and-” 
“I would choose your next words very carefully, pet,” he cuts me off. “Right now your ‘mate’ has been stabbed with a dagger laced in bloodbane, which means that even if your dear brother did know he was here he couldn't communicate with him. As for Rhysand, he now sits in a wedding chapel completely unaware and unarmed with a bloodbane arrow aimed for his fucking throat. And last time I checked the only asset you had was a magic cunt.” 
Cassain growled from the other side of the room at Eris’ vulgar words. My eyes flitted to where he was pulling against the restraints. 
“However, I consider myself a merciful ruler,” Eris taunted, grabbing my face to meet his stare. “I’ll give you a choice. You either walk down that aisle, be a good little wife, and pop out a couple of heirs as promised, or you call off the wedding and I’ll gut your precious general where he kneels.” 
“y/n, no!” Cassian gritted through bared teeth. 
I watched my mate struggle to break free, the bloodbane in his system beginning to take over. I looked to Eris who stared at me with hungry eyes. I tried to think of some way out of this, but Eris was right. We had fallen right into this trap, and my hands were tied.
My gaze met Cassian who could read my face like a book, “I’m sorry Cassian, but I once told you that I could never live with myself if something happened to you and I had the power to stop it.” I turn to face Eris and his shit eating grin. “If you promise not to hurt him, or my brother, I will go with you.” 
“You will submit to me fully?” Eris asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes,” I nod, my mind flashing back to when Rhys was in the same position. 
Eris steps closer to me, tilting my head up in an act of dominance, his mouth too close to mine for comfort. I could hear Cassian’s grunts as he continued to try and break free. 
“And you’ll warm my cock whenever I please?” he muses, clearly loving the control he has over me. 
“Yes,” I grit. 
He smiled triumphantly, releasing my chin as he turned to his guards, “Take him away and lock him in the dungeons.” 
“You said-”
“When you walk down that aisle and say ‘I do’ then I shall send him back to the Night Court, Jewel of Prythian. I won’t be taking any chances.” Eris growls in my face before turning to Cassian who had now been brought to his feet. “If I ever see you in my court, or anywhere near my wife again Prince of Bastards, I will make sure that she pays the price.” 
“You fucking bastard!” Cassian roars, body nearly limp from the bloodbane as he’s hauled off by the guards. 
“Wait, let me say goodbye!” I cry running to him, but I’m yanked back by my arm so roughly it nearly pops out of its socket.
“Your obedience begins now!” Eris grits but I pay him no mind thrashing about in his grasp trying to touch my mate once last time as he disappears behind the oak doors. 
“Cassian!” I scream for him, tears waterfalling over my eyes.
“y/n!” he shouts back. 
But it’s too late. The doors close with a definite slam and I’m left weeping in Eris’ grasp as I hear the sounds of Cassian struggling down the hall. 
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Cassian’s pov: 
Eris was right, the bloodbane hurt like a bitch. Even an hour later as I sat on the cold, wet floor of the Autumn Court cell, the toxin still made me feel lethargic. As if I had taken the world's strongest sleeping tonic. 
The worst part of it all was that I could hear everything. The organ playing signaling that y/n was walking down the aisle and the cheers of the people as they finally said their vows. The worst and loudest of them all were the bells. 
They rang with such clarity, and joy. The happy little melody could be heard from everyone in the Autumn Court, announcing that the Eris and y/n were finally wed.  The ringing made me double over with grief, their sound a reminder that I was the only male in Prythian who could not protect his mate. A shame greater than being a bastard, and one I would carry with me until the end of my days. 
Metal on metal screeched from somewhere in the dungeon as a light poured in. The jingling of keys and stomping of boots stopped at the door to my cell and I didn’t even bother to look up. Nothing mattered anymore anyways. 
“Come on ‘Prince of Bastards’, time for you to go back to your own court,” the guard grumbled, like hauling me home was a huge inconvenience to him. 
I rose to my feet and stepped languidly out of the door. The restraints on my wrists and wings  were removed, the skin on my wrists rubbed raw from the blue stone shackles. I was led up the stairs to where the wards ended and was immediately winnowed to the border of the Autumn and Winter Court. The cold blizzards of winter whipping around us and chilling my wings. 
“Prince Eris has asked me to remind you that you are now banished from this court. He also says that should you choose to seek out his wife once more you know what the consequences will be.” the guard relayed. 
Before I could even think about punching the asshole square in his jaw he disappeared into thin air, no doubt going back to his post in the basement of the palace.
I was left with nothing but the sound of my own thoughts, and the feelings of my own guilt as I flew home towards the House of Wind where I knew Azriel was waiting. The flight was the longest one I had ever been on, as normally I took this route with y/n in my arms.
 I had never been so happy to touch down on solid ground once more. Azriel tentatively walked out onto the balcony, two glasses of whiskey in hand. His shadows told him that something was very wrong. 
“What the hell happened?” He asked, an alarm ringing in his voice. 
The lump in my throat returns as I remember how it all went down.  “The bond snapped for her, and she changed her mind. Eris found us, said he had set the whole thing up. I was stabbed with a bloodbane dagger,” I say, lifting my arm to assess the blood leaking from my side. “He told her that if she didn’t marry him he would gut me and Rhys.” 
The next words teeter on my lips as I feel my eyes brimming with tears. It felt like pieces of me were being ripped out as I finally confessed to my failure. 
“I couldn’t save her,” I choked out, voice cracking halfway through. 
The words being uttered into the world was enough to have my  knees crashing to the ground. The impact radiating through my body to the open wound on my side that still hadn’t healed.  I was sure that Azriel had said something as I heard the glasses of whiskey clatter to the ground. But the roaring in my ears was so loud, so unbearable, that the only thing that assured me he was still there was the arm he slung around my back as he knelt next to me.  
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y/n’s pov:
The wedding was uneventful and to be honest the only part of it I remembered was when the priestess said, “If there is anyone present who can show just cause why these two may not be joined in matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.” 
The silence that had fallen upon the crowd was so deafening I nearly shuddered. I was stupid to hope that he would come charging in like some fairytale I had read as a child.  The smug look on Eris' face as the priestess continued with the nuptials made my blood go cold. 
The reception was even worse. I had spent the entire time sipping wine with a bland expression on my face. It seemed as though Eris’ new favorite word was ‘wife’ considering he found a way to use it in every sentence.  While most would think it a term of endearment I knew it was just to show his ownership.
“Prince Eris, congratulations on stealing ‘The Jewel’ from us all,” a voice said, cutting across the sea of chatter. I looked up from my lap to find the High Lord of Spring, standing before our table. 
“Thank you Tamlin, she is quite the prize,” Eris crooned, placing a kiss to the back of my hand. 
“That she is,” Tamlin nodded, his eyes raking me from head to toe. “Almost makes me regret crossing her brother, I would’ve liked to have been in the race for her hand.” 
“All in the past now,” Eris smiles, kissing the palm of my hand.  “Right wife?” 
“Right,” I nod to him before turning to Tamlin. “High Lord, where is the Cursebreaker tonight? I would’ve liked to make my acquaintance.” I ask secretly hoping that my brother might catch a glimpse of his mate tonight. 
“Feyre is,” he averts his gaze from mine as if trying to decide what to say. “She is safe at home. Busily planning for the wedding.” 
“The wedding?” I inquired further, wondering if Rhys knew.
“Yes we are to be wed soon,” Tamlin beamed with pride. “I’m sure we will see you both present?” 
“Of course Tamlin, of course,” Eris assured the High Lord of Spring. 
Surely if Feyre was getting married to Tamlin my brother knew. I hoped I would get the chance to tell him. The last thing our court, well I suppose his court now, needed was another separation of mates. 
The rest of the night passed on quite slowly. At one point I was able to feel the bond between Cassian and I. It was faint, but it was there, and I almost swore that I felt him tug on it at one point. It wasn’t until people started making their excuses to go home that Eris finally said the words I had been dreading. 
“Shall we go to bed, wife?” he mused his lips brushing the shell of my ear. 
“After I say goodbye to my brother,” I nod standing up to find Rhys, wherever he was. 
“You’ll see your brother soon enough, my pet. For now let us retire to our chambers,” he growled, grasping my arm and winnowing away to what I assumed was his room.
He watched intently from behind me as I took in my surroundings. 
The bed was large, draped in furs and crisp white sheets. Wood paneling surrounded the four walls, giving the place an ornate look. The fireplace was a glow, casting a warm light upon the room. If it had been anyone else’s room it would’ve been cozy, maybe even romantic. 
The air filled with tension as I waited for Eris to do something, or say something, as I refused to turn and meet his gaze. The only sound heard was the crackling of the fire. 
“I’ve waited for this moment for quite a long time,” Eris mused from where I knew he was leaning against the door. 
“You’ve made that abundantly clear throughout our courtship,” I say straight, unable to meet his predatory stare.  
“How should I have acted when you are so tempting? So innocent, so pure, and now so completely mine,” he purred and I could hear his feet shuffle as he pushed off the wall. “And now that you’ve promised me your submission? Well,” he chuckled. “I’m going to have a great deal of fun with you.” 
The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I knew what was coming and I knew he wouldn’t be gentle and loving like Cassian. I knew that once again my hands were tied.  
“Tell me you belong to me,” Eris uttered, taking a step closer to where I stood rigid. 
I sucked down the lump in my throat, “I belong to you,” I whispered.
“Tell me you want me to touch you,” he went on, taking another step forward, his presence looming. 
“I-I want you to touch me,” I repeated back, a tear slipping down my cheek.
Eris hummed in approval behind me. He took one, two more steps until I felt his warmth at my back. Finger tips danced up and down the backs of my arms causing my breath to lurch in fear. His breath was hot on my neck as his presence sucked out every bit of air from the room. 
“Tell me you love me,” he purred. 
My heart stopped cold. There were many things I would have to do or say to please Eris in the millennium that I would be tied to him. But these three words? He would never hear them from my lips. Maybe towards our children, but never to him. 
“You know it wouldn't be true,” I whisper, feeling the tension radiating from his body. 
His hands grip my hips like a brand, ripping my body around until I am face to face with his seething eyes. 
“Then I will make it fucking true!” he growls hauling my mouth to his. 
Eris had kissed me a thousand times before, not one of those times did I ever enjoy the experience. But this time? This had to be the worst. All of it felt so wrong.  Knowing I had a mate. Knowing he was somewhere in this world right now. It made me sick. It was rough, all teeth and tongues. He didn’t want to kiss me, he wanted to devour me.  
“Say it!” Eris demanded, breaking apart our so-called kiss.
“I will love your hounds and your mother, I may love your brothers and one day our children, but I will never love you, Eris Vanserra,” I seethed, unable to take much more. 
I expected him to growl, or curse or hit me. I expected a thorough lashing for what I had said, but he didn’t even so much as flinch. What scared me more? His mouth curled up in a smirk. 
“You forget that you are also a Vanserra now and speaking of heirs, I think it’s time I put one in you right now,” he mused and my stomach bottomed out. “What do you say ‘Jewel of Prythian’ think I can get you knocked up on the first try?” he smiled, backing me to his bed.
There were no words for the terror I felt. No handbook to prepare me for what came next. All I could do was shut down every emotion I had and do my best to become a ghost. A shell of myself. 
No matter how hard I tried, it didn’t subdue the pain. 
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Azriel’s pov: 
I thought that getting Cass drunk might help distract him from the feelings floating down the bond tonight, but boy was I fucking wrong. 
I had seen my brother lose soldiers and whole infantries. Had seen him lose his first love, the valkyrie, Tanwyn. I was there the day Rhys and y/n went under the mountain and we thought we lost them for good. 
None of that compared to the screams of agony that emanated from the male before me. 
“He’s fucking hurting her!” Cassian bemoaned, gripping the nearly empty bottle of whiskey. 
It didn’t take much to figure out that he could feel everything y/n was feeling through the bond. And at this late hour? It wasn’t hard to guess what Eris was doing to her, and Cassian had to feel every moment of it down the bond.
“Shh calm down Cass you have to try and block her out,” I pleaded with him, gripping his hand in mine. 
His eyes were glassed over, his hair tangled from him nearly ripping it out at the roots. He had been like this for well over an hour now, and I almost wished the whiskey would do its job and make him fall asleep simply so he would be unconscious. 
“I can’t Az I’ve tried,” he yells at me, nearly slumping to the side from where he sat on the floor leaning against the wall. 
Earlier Rhys had spoken into my mind and asked if everything was alright. I had lied of course, telling him everything was fine, not wanting to insert myself in my brother and the princess’ business. Now I wished I had told him to come if only for him to break into Cass’ head and make him sleep. Watching him feel everything his mate was feeling while she was being… well there weren’t words for it. 
“Breathe Cass, breathe,” I soothed, trying to get him to catch his breath long enough to breathe in and out fully. 
“I-I can’t,” he cried. “My mate.” 
His voice resonated with hopelessness and brokenness, reminiscent of the tragedies depicted in literature. This situation felt nothing short of hellish. For centuries, I longed for a mate—a bond that every fae yearned for. But witnessing how it tormented Rhysand, and observing its impact on Cassian, made me question if I truly desired a mate. In my 500 years of life, I had never seen a male stripped down to his core as profoundly as this.
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y/n’s pov:
The next morning I woke up late in the day, the atrocities of last night lasting well into the early hours of the morning. It took me a moment to get my bearings. I wasn’t in the House of Wind, I was in Eris’ room. It wasn’t Cassian’s arms around me in a possessive grasp, it was Eris’.
I slowed my heartrate down enough to assess the room around me. Behind me, Eris was fast asleep, which meant I had a few moments to collect myself before he woke. I looked around the room for a second space and found a door ajar that appeared to lead to a bathroom. I saw my opportunity and took it, carefully wiggling out of Eris’ grasp. 
My body ached all over, especially between my legs, but I pushed through until I stood from the bed. I tiptoed over to the bathroom, shutting the door as quietly as possible.  Thankfully there were two robes hung on the door. The one for Eris made up of thick cotton, and the one for me made of a cream colored silk. 
I reached for the silk robe and slipped it over my bare body, noting every large bruise and handprint that littered my skin. A problem for a later time, I told myself. 
I must’ve spent fifteen minutes in the bathroom collecting myself. Constantly repeating my new found mantra. 
I will not cry.
I will not cry.
I will not cry.
I spent so long taking deep breaths that I thought I was prepared for whatever came next. But the second I opened the door and saw Eris standing, staring down at the white sheets of the bed expectantly I knew I was sorely mistaken.
“You didn’t bleed,” Eris stated, tossing the bedsheets aside, stalking towards me. 
“What do you mean?” I replied feigning innocence like I didn’t know what he meant. 
My heart began to beat out of my chest as Eris stalked closer and closer to me. How could I have been so stupid? To overlook the one thing that meant the most to him in this entire facade.  
“Virgins are supposed to bleed the first time they are taken by a male, yet you didn’t,” he growled, stepping into my bubble as my back hit the wall. Never in my life had I felt so small.  “Which means you weren’t pure when you married me, or when you came to my bed.” 
Every nerve in my body froze over as I watched him put together the pieces. There was no telling what happened next, and the only thing I could do was beg for mercy from whatever plans Eris had for a soiled female. 
“Eris I-” 
“Did you let that Illyrian bastard deflower you?” he gritted out, a rough hand came to grip my  throat, slamming my head against the wall. 
Tears pricked my eyes. Even if I had wanted to answer, the hand on my neck wouldn’t allow me. I could only shake in terror and anticipation of what would become of me. 
“You useless, pathetic fucking whore.” he gritted, hand squeezing tighter with every insult. “Our marriage is now null and void by the traditions of my court, which means you no longer have the protection of being called my wife.” 
His hand releases my throat and I have mere seconds to suck down a breath before a harsh slap falls across my cheek, knocking the air from my lungs once again. The next thing I know I’m kneeling on the floor, clutching my face. Eris reaches out a hand to yank me up by my hair. 
“Let me show you what we do to ran through sluts in my court,” Eris spits in my face. 
His hand doesn’t relinquish its grip from my hair. Instead it begins to drag me out of the room and down the hall. My scalp is burning from the tug on my hair. He takes a back corridor reserved for servants and my bare knees bump, slice and break on the rough stone stairs leading down to wherever he’s taking me.
My hands try to find purchase on the walls around me so that I can ground myself and fight back but it’s impossible. 
“ERIS PLEASE!” I scream, but my pleas fall on deaf ears. 
We reach a basement room that drops in temperature and he finally releases me. I try to catch my breath as I watch him scribble something on a piece of paper, picking up a hammer and nail. I instantly go to cower in a corner as he walks towards me. The autumn prince pulls me out of my fetal position by my  ankles pinning me to the ground beneath his weight. 
“In case I did get you pregnant on the first try,” he seethes before I feel a sharp pain to my lower abdomen. 
I don’t look down, I can’t look down. Afraid of what I might see there when I do. My eyes roll to the back of my head as Eris grasps my arm and a cloud of darkness washes over us. 
When the shadow withdraws my bare skin is whipped and flayed by blistering cold winds. The ground beneath me is soft, but ice cold. I open my eyes long enough to see white as far as the eye can see. 
The Winter Court. 
“And just  in case you get any ideas about utilizing that so-called mating bond,” Eris speaks again before another sharp sting plunges into my side. 
White hot pain spreads from the intrusion and spreads like acid moving through my veins. I feel like the blood beneath my skin is on fire, and I almost wish it was in order to combat the blizzard around me. Only one thing could disable me like this, bloodbane. The very same used on Cassian.
“You’ve brought this upon yourself, ‘Jewel of Prythian’. I hope that bastard general was worth your life and your court. Because when Hybern comes to call it won’t be Autumn Court armies that come to your aid.” Eris says, the disgust in his voice evident. 
I can’t speak, can’t even think about anything but the agony I feel. The throb from my lower abdomen and from my side. The bite of the wind and snow on my bare skin. I can barely register the cloud of darkness as Eris winnows himself away, leaving me with nothing but a silk robe for warmth. 
I reached down with a cold hand to rip the dagger from my side. I hoped if I could stop the bloodbane from spreading that I might be able to use the bond to call Cassian. The second I discard the dagger blood stains the white snow surrounding me, and I realize my mistake. My hand grasps at the open wound, attempting to apply pressure. As I sat there, bleeding and freezing to death I thought of one thing. 
It was all for nothing.
All the pain, all the suffering. Hurting Cassian, hurting myself. It had all been for nothing. I was dying and alone, fingers and toes already losing feeling and I still had no army for my people. Cassian nowhere in sight to save my body and my soul. And I would die here knowing that it was all for nothing. 
Because time was of the essence, and no one was coming.
Part 10
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whumpofalltime · 8 months
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friends, enemies, lurkers, we've made it to the
Whump Of All Time Finals!
What's the whumpiest whump of all time? Help us decide!
Find links and propaganda under the cut. Quarterfinalist and later match-ups are untagged, so your votes and reblogs matter! Make sure you click through to the main blog to find the run-off poll to crown third place, as well!
ROTK:
(spider attack, rescue)
"The Lord of The Rings, when Frodo gets bitten by a giant spider and left for dead by Sam at the end of The Two Towers, and then when Sam finds him in The Return of the King being held prisoner and whipped by an orc."
The Young Blood Chronicles (Save Rock and Roll's music videos, Fall Out Boy):
(link)
"Everyone gets bloodied, bruised, beaten up, tortured, rescued, limbs are amputated - it's brutal. Alone Together is particularly strong."
sorry for being late, but you want YBC propaganda? then you're getting YBC propaganda. I know you're a FOB fan, but I will be writing this for the benefit of those who don't know what YBC is, for better propaganda purposes! and yeah this is gonna be LONG. sorry.
So! The Youngblood Chronicles (shortened to YBC) is a series of 11 music videos made by the band Fall Out Boy, for their album Save Rock And Roll (you know this album, it's the one with My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark on it). The whole thing is quite short, less than fifty minutes long (even shorter if you don't count the uncut version's credits!!), and every single music video has some element of whump in it. This propaganda is gonna break down each individual music vid, and at i'll also talk a little bit about the irl context the album was written in, and why even THAT can be a little bit whumpy if you're insane like me!
(note: i'm going in the original release order over the uncut order, hence why i'm starting with MSKWYDITD instead of The Phoenix)
My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark: Arguably the least whump-y out of all of them, but man, seeing all of Fall Out Boy's discography and memorabilia be burnt while people are dancing around the destruction? Man, when you know the real life stuff (the reception the band had in 2009, leading to them to take a three year hiatus)... and at the end, you see four guys bound in the back of a van!! And that van is getting burnt!! Burn everything you love and burn the... ashes.
The Phoenix: NOW here's the first of MANY whump tastes you'll get. Patrick Stump, the singer/cutie of the band, gets kidnapped, tied to a chair, has his hand CHOPPED OFF and mailed to his bandmate/best friend Pete Wentz, then gets tied down and utterly tortured by women who are laughing at his misery the entire time, getting prodded and stabbed by tools for... well, you'll see. By the end of the video, Pete and the other two members of FOB (Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley) have been kidnapped by these mysterious women too, with Pete specifically getting kidnapped by the blonde woman he was in bed with when Patrick's hand got delivered to him. If you enjoy cute boys getting tied down, covered in blood, and writhing around like worms while getting tortured... well you'll enjoy all of YBC but specifically you'll enjoy this!! I did :D! The war is won, before it's begun, release the doves, surrender love...
Young Volcanoes: Good news, FOB has been reunited! Bad news, by the women who dismembered Patrick! And now all the band members are tied to chairs, hooked up to IVs full of god knows what types of drugs, and blindfolded (all except Patrick). They are then forced to drink, snort hard drugs, and are force fed Patrick's organs! Yep, all four of them are forced to eat their lead singer's guts, and are so fucking drugged up they don't even realize what's happening (and now you know what the women were doing to him in the last mv, and you even get a nice little shot of the hack job of stitching him back up)!! Patrick hallucinates everyone having fun, but of course, at the end, all of them are knocked out because of the drugs. Americana, exotica, do you wanna feel a little beautiful baby?
Alone Together: This is the song the OG propaganda mentioned, and for good reason. All four of them are shipped off into little personalized torture rooms, and, well, tortured! Pete is able to break out and even steals the hook from the girl who was torturing him, but little does he know that'll be his own undoing... also, in general, this song has some whumpy elements, specifically the line "my heart is like a stallion/they love it more when it's broke-in"... but notice how easy it is to hear "broke-in" as "broken"! At the end of the video, Pete is at least able to find Patrick (Joe and Andy have NOT been having a good time, either!! But sadly, they aren't found by Pete, but Pete DOES find Big Sean), and is even able to attach the hook to the stump (ha!) where his hand used to be. But something is clearly wrong with Patrick now. His eyes are yellow, and as the song ends, we hold on him, sneering and twitching. This is the road to ruin - and we're started at the end...
The Mighty Fall: First off if you say this is the worst song off of SRAR I will hunt you for sport. OKAY ANYWAYS, chronologically this comes after MSKWYDITD, and yeah, the four guys are the members of FOB. Pete is able to free himself with Patrick's new hook hand, and is able to get the other three out while Pete is hacking up a lung from the fire they just barely escaped. But they're not done getting their shit rocked yet. A gang of children show up (the leader being the kid Patrick waved at right before he was kidnapped back in the Phoenix MV), and proceed to separate them and beat the living shit out of them. The leader kid who's chasing Patrick plays something on a boombox... which triggers Patrick to go yellow-eyed again (from here on out i'll call it "going Youngblood" or "Youngblood self"). It was confirmed in the commentary track that ANY music would cause him to go Youngblood. And knowing Patrick IRL fucking loves to create/compose music... yeah! Take something he loves and turn it into something that drives him insane!! I'm normal!! And also the irl parallel you could draw to his solo career doing the same thing to him (on a less uh Dramatic level but you know)!!! Ouch!!!! Big Sean is able to save Patrick, but at the cost of his own life (and a killer rap verse... HELL YEAH I'M A DICK GIRL, ADDICTED TO YOU). Oh, how the mighty fall in love...
Just One Yesterday: The last vestiges of comfort you're gonna get for a WHILE. The four are separated, getting even more beaten up, Pete vomits up a snake, Andy gets his shit rocked by a homeless guy, Joe has to use white sheets as a makeshift tourniquet bc his leg got fucked up in The Mighty Fall MV, and Patrick is picked up by a kind stranger (hi Foxes! you have a very pretty voice! PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE STEERING WHEEL!). And finally, finally we get a hope spot. Fall Out Boy is reunited (the part where Andy just grabs onto Patrick's arm, in disbelief they're both alive... augh!!! AUGH!!!!), and for a moment, it seems they've been delivered to a hospital... before Foxes' eyes go completely black, looking at Patrick... and turns on the radio. She's able to trigger the Youngblood. And now Patrick is gone. The other three scramble into the hospital, Patrick not far behind, determined to kill them to stop the noise in his head. If Heaven's grief brings Hell's reign, then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday...
Where Did The Party Go: Patrick, now fully consumed by the Youngblood brainwashing, is now stalking his bandmates in a hospital. Patrick is seeing visions of the hospital as an abandoned party, Andy has to painfully disinfect the wounds he's gotten, Pete is able to call for the police, and Joe... oh, poor Joe. He barricades himself into a room, but not well enough. Patrick finds him, and kills him, slitting his throat with the hook hand, showing no remorse at all... until Andy and Pete find them. The Youngblood wears off, and Patrick looks to what he's done, and is horrified at what he's done to his friend. And, bad news for him, the police are here, ready to arrest the murderer. All Andy and Pete can do is watch as tears roll down Patrick's eyes. And for the extra IRL context, this was the first song written for the album that made Pete and Patrick realize they had to get FOB back together... so lets match that with a music video where the member who helped get the band together in the first place dies. By the hands of the kid he found. Let's fade away together, one dream at a time...
Death Valley: Joe gets... uh, a little comfort? I mean, he thinks he's getting sent to heaven but goes to hell, buuuuut I think doing drugs in rock and roll hell with Tommy Lee is actually a pretty sweet deal, better than the deal the other three got! Pete and Andy are being interrogated while Patrick is in a jail cell. We find out that the cult that kidnapped them, Silence the Noise, is lead by Pete's girlfriend from WAAAAY back in the Phoenix MV, Courtney Love. And at the end of the MV... Patrick is bailed out of jail by Silence the Noise. They have him again. And this time, they're not gonna let him walk out until he's fully under their control. 'Cause tonight it's just fire alarms and losing you...
Rat a Tat: Silence the Noise has Patrick, and they utterly brainwash him, A Clockwork Orange style, with electroshock stimulation to keep him from looking away or closing his eyes, until there is nothing left. Patrick Stump does not exist anymore. Only the Youngblood, pliant under the control of Silence the Noise, tasked to destroy what he once loved; music. Andy dies at the hands of the cult, and now Pete has to protect a briefcase, the thing that got them into this mess, and keep it away from Silence the Noise, all while his best friend hunts him down. Are you ready for another bad poem?
Miss Missing You: THE WHUMPIEST OF THE WHUMP. What if we were best friends but you've been driven insane and I know the only way to stop you is to kill you and it was my fault you got into this mess and I was the one who gave you the weapon that will be my own undoing. What if we both died at the same time. What if we died, both of us failing the mission we had before us. What if that was a reference to one of their first music videos. What if this song was originally written for Patrick's solo album but he realized it was more of a Fall Out Boy song so it was scrapped until now. What if there's a legit argument to be made that half the lyrics for this song was written by Patrick. What if we were both boys. Grips walls, yeha i'm normal. If you don't watch ANY other music vid, watch Miss Missing You. Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger. The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger.
Save Rock And Roll: And our final track gives us a final bit of comfort. Patrick is able to overcome the Youngblood, and gets into heaven, where all of FOB is finally, finally reunited. God (aka Elton John) gives them new instruments and brings them back to earth, so they can do what they love; play music together. Which just so happens to release people from the control of Silence the Noise! But, because we can't have nice things, a cult within Silence the Noise got a hold of the briefcase, and summoned a spirit that starts to kill everyone. FOB stands together, and blasts the evil spirit, the blood coming up to the gates of heaven and covering Elton John in it. And... that's how it ends. No true resolution. Just Elton John covered in blood, as the song fades out. Oh, no! Wherever I go, go! Trouble seems to follow! I only plugged in to save rock and roll!
UH. AGAIN I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTH. but i really wanted to express just how much WHUMP they manage to fit into less than fifty minutes, all backed by an amazing album colored by the three years they were apart. colored by how they grew, colored by how bad the hiatus was for Patrick specifically, colored by how Confessions of a Pariah got Pete to reach out to help him, and this album came out of it, Fall Out Boy came back out of it, and now here we are, ten years later, with the title track being performed every night for their concert, with all the band singing the final lines together, and the line you are what you love, not who loves you hitting every single night.
SORRY. LISTEN TO FALL OUT BOY. thanks for letting me rant.
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pastel-peach-writes · 9 months
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CAITVI X YOU IN A BAND PLEASE OH MY LORD !!?? BONUS IF UR SINGING EITHER A LOVE SONG OR A SPICY ONE N THEY R JUST LOOKING AT EACHOTHER N THEN U ?!!!
Comin' up!
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Hot Rocker | CaitVi x Reader
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╰┈➤ PLOT: Caitlyn and Vi have a partner in a band and holy crap, they can't get enough of them.
╰┈➤ WARNINGS: Suggestive Themes, Lowkey The Dirtiest Thing I've Written As A PG-13 Writer, Musician/Singer Reader(separately and together), Mentions Of Overly Touchy Groupies
⍣ ೋ Enjoy!⍣ ೋ
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– First off, Caitlyn and Vi absolutely love that you're in a band.
– They can't keep their eyes off of you every time you perform.
– They love how the lights compliment your complexion, and how your hair/body moves as you play and/or sing. Not to mention the cool ass outfits
– Vi loves you with multiple rings, ripped pants, and wild hair. Maybe even an open button-down. Basically, she loves the rocker masc look on you. She says its badass
– Caitlyn loves that look too, obviously. But she mainly loves the look on your face rather than the outfits.
– Yes, she's into fashion and loves what you wear, but when your face softens as you play a romantic ballad or how your face scrunched as you concentrate on your instrument
– speaking of instruments, if you play any handheld string instrument or the piano, Vi will never stop asking you what those hands do.
– it made your face heat up the first few times, but the later times, vi received eye-rolls, smiles, and sometimes a wink.
– even if you play the fucking drums, Vi would always ask because you often twirl the sticks between your fingers.
– If you're not much of a player, but more of a singer, Vi would ask why aren't you that vocal when she goes down on you.
– WELP.
– vocal or not during spicy times, she would always comment on it and Caitlyn will always flick her ear.
– okay, before we get into you singing a spicy song on them or furthermore on how they act while you perform, let's talk about them and your groupies.
– It's not like they don't love them! They do and they're your fans.
– If you like them, they love them
– but some of the groupies don't understand boundaries and/or talk about you in a certain way they don't like.
– it's not gross. it's the normal, "omg they're so hot!" "did you see how they acted during the finale? ohhh my god, I'm on my knees" "they could run me over with a bus and not only will i apologize for getting in the way, I'd say thank you.
– Okay, that last line makes Vi chuckle as she overhears it. Caitlyn is more concerned, but you say similar lines to her and Vi, so it's not like it was foreign behavior to her.
– anyways!
– they don't like when your groupies get handsy or visibly make you uncomfortable when you're all backstage.
– some of your fans/groupies are so wrapped up in your stardom, they forget you're human.
– God, don't let your bodyguards fail at their job.
– Vi is the first one screaming that the show's over, the guards aren't doing their fucking job, and some of your fans need to learn some respect.
– Caitltyn immediately apologizes for Vi's profanity, but not for her actions of shutting things down. She glares at the guards and some of the problematic fans while ushering everyone out
– she also looks at the kind fans apologetically and hopes they get home safe.
– OKAY FINALLY. SHOWTIME (literally)
– you don't sing or play your spicy songs until near the end of the concert.
– the mood is calmer, the fans are fully engrossed in the music. and the lighting is a perfect purple/red.
– usually, the spicy songs are covers, but the moment you show up performing a BRAND NEW UNRELEASED song about the two of them? ohhh god
– first off, cait and vi are blushing. it's intense and they're so flustered but since they're in the front row and surrounded by people, they have to keep it cool.
– the moment you mention the contrast of calloused and soft hands, they glance at each other like "is this fucking play about us?!"
– yeah, babes. it is.
– if you're a singer, you look at them as you sing. you don't stare at them all the time. (you can't let the fans know this song is explicitly ab them even though they have a good hunch)
– you're holding onto the mic stand, swaying your hips to the music with your eyes closed. but then when you talk about their kisses and maybe even how they act during the act, you look at them with a little smirk
– vi smirks back, but its very faint. she's thinking, "oh this little fucker. you're not going to get away with this"
– meanwhile, Caitlyn is freaking.
– she's not really open w her "adult" life like that and even though the details are vague and you're not saying her name, she can't help but get embarrassed
– now people know her dirtiest and deepest fantasies! (aka pretty lingerie and whispers smh. you'll be okay cait)
– if you're not much of a singer, but a music player, you watch them the entire time you play.
– you added some lyrics to the song, so when the line you wrote about them comes up, you make eye contact. A sneaky smile spreads across your face and your tongue pokes at your cheek
– if the song is more upbeat, think Chase Atlantic, you headbang to some of the music.
– if the song is slower, lana del ray type shit, you sway your music and chew on your lip
– whatever you do, Caitlyn and Vi love it
– they're weak at the knees, resisting the urge to jump on stage and kiss you until your lips turn purple
– god, they think you're such a tease but they love it.
– after the show Vi walks up to you like, "well, that was some song"
– and you're "innocently" like "oh, what song? can you remind me?"
– even Caitlyn's a little smug with a tensed jaw and her tongue running along her upper teeth. she crosses her arms, Vi mimics the stance, and she tilts her head to the side. in a low, sultry whisper she goes "you know what song."
– WHEWWWWW
– butterflies, shivers, ETC. EVERYTHING YOU COULD FEEL YOU'RE FEELING
– later that night at the hotel is interesting, but I'll leave that to your imagination.
WC: 1,000
192 notes · View notes
bloodlust-1 · 15 days
Text
The Consort ₊⁺જ⁀➴
NSWF | Explicit 18+ | Angst | Blood | Ascended Astarion | Spawn Tav | Dark | Smut | Trauma | Stockholm Syndrome | Violence
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Ascended Astarion x fem Tav
Chapter: 9 | The Break of Dawn
Summary: In a tumultuous tale of love, power, and betrayal, Tav finds herself entangled in a complex relationship with Astarion, a heartless vampire lord who will stop at nothing to maintain control over his newfound spawn. As Tav witnesses Astarion’s transformation and descent into darkness, their love is put to the ultimate test amidst love triangles, drama, and the pursuit of world domination. Redemption seems like an elusive goal while Tav grapples with the realization of who her lover has truly become.
Notes: hi hi!!! I wanted to give a short update about my life rn! Recently I got an internship (congrats to me :D) So I'm not sure if I'll be able to necessarily update every Monday, but I'll try to keep it on a weekly update, just can't say a specific day. ^^ That's all, Enjoy ~ Unedited atm
AO3 LINK | MASTER LIST
Lovely photo by @astarionposting
"....For fucks sake!"
~
Astarion hastily wrapped a towel around his waist, grabbing an extra one and dashing threw the palace corridors. He followed the trail of wet footprints left on the carpet.
Holy hells she is SO impulsive.
There she was.
Completely naked, water still glistening on her skin.
Arm stretched out, her silhouette illuminated the glow of the sun's rays. Her face was lost in the streaks of sun. She hesitantly extended her hand towards its warmth...If she could just...touch it.
The light’s warm embrace tickled Tav's skin. There were no burns. No pain. Just the soft touch of warmth as her fingers dance in the shadows.
Nature is - beautiful.
There was a ringing in her ear, and in that moment she felt alone - in her own wonder of something so simplistic.
....
...
..
..
.
“Tav! You’ll flash the entire city!”
Astarion spat out, hurrying swiftly to shield her from prying eyes. Embarrassment, annoyance, and amusement read clearly on his face. He darted towards Tav, protectively wrapping his arms around her shoulders. The towel covered her breasts before whisking her away from the revealing view.
Astarion practically dragged Tav before shielding her in the nearest room. And when he did, Astarion cracked into a chuckle, although he was still very much annoyed.
“I forgot how reckless you can be when given the slightest chance,” he remarked unamused, giving her body a tight squeeze before peering down at her face.
Tav, still caught in complete disbelief, whispered in awe, “I can see my reflection…I can touch the light…” Her childlike wonder tugged at Astarion’s heart, reminding him of old times. How her reckless choices used to always keep him on his toes.
And they still do.
How he loved her so deeply.
With a sway of his shoulders, “Gods, I hope no one saw what I can only see,” he sighed, grateful she didn't make it past the front doors.
Tav snuggled into her towel, a slight sadness crinkled her eyes, "So that's how you felt when you could feel the sun again."
Astarion stiffened at her words. An uncomfortable feeling washed over him at the thought of his spawn days. But there was a strange comfort in understanding how he must've felt.
He shook his head like he was drowning out the statement, quickly changing the subject with a mischievous look on his face.
"How about we stroll the city, hm?" He tilted his head with smirked lips.
Tav gasped, "Yes!"
~
Excitedly shaking her head while stuffing her face with a smile, cheeks full of food, she indulged in grilled pork strips. They were on a long wooden stick being sold at a small vendor in the city, and Tav had a handful of them like it was lollipops.
“I knew you were excited but darling, is this really necessary?” Astarion teased as he watched her enjoy the street food.
“Duh, this was the best grill I’ve ever tasted!” she exclaimed between bites, savoring the pork
“You and Karlach have horrible taste,” he remarked playfully, clearly enjoying their banter by the sway of his shoulders.
“If having good taste means agreeing with you, then I’ll happily stick to being tasteless,” she retorted with a mischievous grin before taking another huge bite of the delicious pork strips.
Tav knew eating would never give the real strength she needed, but Gods who cares when it tastes this good.
“I’m sooo hurt,” he joked back. “You little devil, I didn’t think you had it in you, really.”
Suddenly, Tav playfully waved the savory pork stick under Astarion’s nose, a fangy grin tugging at the corners of her lips.
She teased him, “Come on, Astarion ~ just a bite won’t hurt.”
Astarion jumped back, shaking his head continuously with a gross expression on his face, "By the gods, no!"
Tav giggled at Astarion’s dramatics and simply shrugged, "Suit yourself."
I feel more confident.
Free.
I love the outside world.
How contradictory it was, but really, she couldn’t be more happier with her favorite food and lover by her side in this bustling city.
No one can take this away from me.
Astarion leaned in to plant a gentle kiss on Tav's forehead, his lips barely grazing the skin before Tav darted off, leaving Astarion momentarily stunned.
"Always one step ahead, aren't you?" Astarion mumbled to himself, admiring the sway of Tav's hips in the distance.
Tav weaved through the bustling marketplace, a sharp voice pierced the air, "Hey! You ought to pay for that, thief!" The hafling man pointed directly at Tav.
Astarion's gaze snapped toward the commotion, his eyes narrowing dangerously.
Tch.
The vendor's voice rang out again, more insistent this time. Without missing a beat, Astarion sternly intervened, stepping forward with quiet authority. His piercing red gaze locked onto the cowering halfling vendor, who visibly wilted under Astarion's intimidation.
"Don't ever point those grubby fingers at her again."
Astarion pulled a small pouch of gold from his pocket, dropping it down at the man's feet before glaring at him a moment more in deathly silence. The halfling thanked Astarion profusely, and Astarion left to follow Tav.
~
The sound of bells filled the air, accompanied by loud cheering. Astarion frantically scanned the area, searching for Tav amidst the crowd until his eyes landed on a nearby sanctuary where a wedding ceremony was being held.
Pushing his way through the swarm of guests, he finally spotted Tav standing at a distance, her gaze fixed on the couple exchanging wistful smiles in their best suits.
As Astarion approached her, he noticed the somber expression on Tav's face. Standing side by side, he discreetly peeked over at her, curious about her thoughts.
What's the long face for?
Tav tilted her head slightly, her eyes distant, and let out a dreamy sigh. "I always wished to be in their position as a little girl," she confessed softly.
Astarion raised an eyebrow in surprise, his tone teasing yet affectionate. "Darling, really? I didn't know you still cared for mortal activities like that," he remarked with a click of his tongue.
With a thoughtful expression, Tav replied, "Hmm... I always thought it was sweet."
Astarion quickly averted his head away from her, a slight blush of insecurity burning his cheeks.
Fuck.
Am I doing something wrong?
Astartion peeked back at Tav's fingers. Noticing the absence of a ring. He bit down at his inner cheek, guilt gnawing at his stomach. Tav clutched her hands together, her eyes lost at the ceremony.
The sun perfectly kissed her skin so radiantly.
Astarion calls Tav his consort all the time, yet he never really popped the question per-say. The "will you be my wife," kind of question.
Shit, maybe I am doing something wrong.
To officially call Tav my wife? Just the thought made his darkest desires flutter deep in his chest.
Astarion reached out to catch Tav's hands in his, and he pulled her close. A kiss pressing against the softness of her knuckles made her giggle at his affection, "S-Star~..ahah...are you okay?"
"Just fine, love." He smiled against the cervice of her knuckles.
Tav's heart skipped, a softness in his eyes as they stared at her.
Maybe it was just love in the air.
Tav’s heart was pounding like crazy, feeling this sudden urge to just leap into Astarion’s arms. The air was so joyous, and before she even knew what she was doing, Tav found herself closing the gap between them.
Without even thinking, she pulled Astarion into a searing kiss in a fiery moment that made sparks fly.
Astarion was caught off guard by the unexpected move, stumbling back a bit, but his hands naturally found their place around Tav’s waist.
Tav wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in closer and deepening the kiss with a passion that felt like a thousand blazing suns.
Everything else around them seemed to fade away, locked in this moment of pure love. The only thing they could hear was the sound of their breathing mixing together, drowning out all other noise until all that mattered was the symphony of their racing hearts.
I love you, Tav.
The distant echoes of wedding bells rang in their ears, Tav and Astarion were lost in each other, bound by a force stronger than fate itself.
-
With bags full of treasures and clothing from their shopping spree, Astarion brought Tav back to their home. The exhaustion from the day weighed heavily on Tav as she sank into the plush carpet of their room, the soft fibers cradling her body.
All she wanted to do was sunbathe in the days of dwindling light.
The only sound breaking the stillness was the gentle sound of Tav’s snores, painting a picture of pure bliss.
Astarion walked into the room, his eyes falling on the soft rise and fall of her body. He chuckled for a brief moment before hesitating.
ASTARION'S POV
In his hand, he clutched onto a velvet box, the feelings of all kinds mixing deep into the pit of his stomach.
When Tav was practically running out of Astarion's sight, he managed to sneak off himself. And what he was able to easily snatch from the jewelers, made his lips crinkle into a smile.
It's just perfect.
That smile soon faded away when he pulled the velvet box out of his pocket. Opening it up to reveal two gold bands with an incrusted filigree.
He felt a shiver run down his spine as he gazed at the jewelry before turning his attention to Tav’s sleeping figure.
Deep breaths.
This is no biggie
just -
ask the question....
Astarion dramatically puffed his cheeks, while his hands were a nervous jumble, clutching tightly as he ran them frustratingly through his hair. With a deep, exhilarated sigh, Astarion tried to shake off the tension that gripped him.
"Gods!" He whispered with a growl in his throat.
Astarion paced back and forth, his fingers anxiously kneading into his hair. With a hand firmly planted on his hip, he clutched onto the small box.
By everything powerful, I never saw this day coming.
Cowering like a weakling over a question!?
This is more interesting than the time I found out Gale's mother, pet, and Whithers all hang out together...
A shudder cringed Astarion's face - Hells it still weirds me out today. Like...Why?
Astarion was just about to wake Tav up when his hand stopped mid-gesture.
No.
She might like something else better.
Astarion rubbed his chin before scanning the room. And an idea popped into his head. Astarion stuffed the velvet box into his pocket before retreating to a storage closet.
He swiftly grabbed a soft blanket and two plush pillows, tucking them securely under his arms as he made his way to the backyard of the palace. Placing the blanket and pillows neatly on the soft green blades.
Oh!
He also brought wine, of course.
Astarion was so critical of everything, but this must be perfect. Nothing more, nothing less.
This is giving me flashbacks when I met Tav in that forest. I wanted to pick the perfect tree to devour her on.
The sky fell dark and the stars twinkled in a blanket of crystals. Astarion wanted nothing more than to watch the stars until dawn broke with Tav.
She would like that.
Astarion hung his head back and let the wine flow down with a quick gulp. When he pulled away he signed out with nerves tingling his skin.
By image, Astarion was an all-powerful Ascendant. Behind closed doors, he was a regular elf with real-life emotions for his beloved.
Astarion wanted to fix something in their relationship. To take it that much further and devote himself, to giving something no one else could have.
A weakness he knew all too well himself. It bothered him, of course.
But love was hard to understand. He only knew he felt it.
END POV
~
Astarion went to go wake Tav, but he found Tav sitting with her legs crossed, staring out of the large window.
Softly, "They look better outside of a window." Astarion peeked behind her silence.
Tav turned towards him, their eyes locking in a silent exchange. Her lips parted slightly, and her piercing pearl eyes seemed to pierce Astarion like daggers.
"The stars I mean." Astarion reached out his hand towards Tav, who responded with a gentle smile as she grasped it. With a graceful pull, he lifted her onto her feet.
“Come with me,” he whispered softly. Their bodies illuminated by the moon's glow. "I want to show you something."
Tav simply nodded her head, her eyes still heavy with sleepiness, as he gently guided her through the courtyard, leading her down a winded path to a meticulous picnic set-up.
The nerves stirred in Astarion again, and he fell quiet while Tav giggled under her breath, "Woow...Well done, my 'dark lord'." Tav nudged her head at him with a cheeky smile, "This is beautiful."
Astarion let out a soft, amused chuckle and sat down with Tav on the plush blanket. He instantly grabbed two glass cups and filled them with wine. "For you, my love," he murmured.
With a simple, "Thank you." Tav took a sip.
Astarion on the other hand was watching her every move. His eyes followed her gestures closely, capturing each smile and noting every direction her eyes wandered towards. 
With a clear of his throat, he spoke up confidently, "Let us stay together, till the stars fade and daylight graces us once more."
Tav playfully quipped with a slight tilt of her head, “How romantic.” She tenderly placed her hand on his cheek and let out a soft giggle, "Of course, I'll stay here with you."
“It feels correct, sharing this moment with someone as stunning as you,” he whispered softly, his eyes full of admiration. With a gentle clink, their glasses met.
The stars littered the sky, and they basked in it, their laughter filling the air. They were in high spirits, fueled by wine and the joy of each other’s company.
They playfully teased and bantered, their voices mingled with the gentle rustle of leaves in the breeze. Wrapped in each other’s arms.
Astarion gently pulled Tav close to him, wrapping his arms around her, smoothing down the locs of hair cascading down her back, "Your hair has gotten longer."
"You think? I haven't noticed ever since i lost my reflection."
"You should grow yours out." Tav twirled one of his white curls around her finger. In a sultry voice, "You'd look so handsome."
“Hah - of course I would. I’m beautiful,” Astarion flashed a playful grin.
Tav rolled her eyes at his teasing remark, “Yeah, yeah, before I take it back.” Tav, with a mischievous glint in her eyes, leaned in and playfully nipped the tip of his nose. Astarion let out a surprised giggle as he shook his head in chuckles.
As the giggles died down, Tav averted her gaze. A look of worry crossed her face and Astarion narrowed his eyes. She was still on edge about what had happened just earlier.
It was a lot to sink in.
"What's on your mind?"
Tav anxiously bit down on her inner cheek, shrugging her shoulders, "You...and what had happened earlier..."
She paused for a moment before speaking, "That was - scary. Astarion we should really talk about it. Why would you see a hallucination?"
In a moment of complete and utter vulnerability and honesty, Astarion closed his eyes and spoke. He was too prideful to admit, but she was right. It was a conversation worth discussing.
With a single sigh, "Cazador has taken everything from me. And the only thing I've ever had is you. By letting Cazador's influence take over me, I felt you slipping away."
His arms tightened around Tav's waist. She could physically feel Astarion's muscles stiffen under her. "As for the hallucination...I don't know."
Tav nodded to his every word, gently tracing the veins in his arms for comfort. Her eyes glossed over as he poured his most vulnerable feelings, "He's gone. It's just you and me now. It will be for a very long time."
Astartion's lips chuckled softly at Tav’s heartfelt testament. The sound of his laughter was like a melody to Tav. His laughs were like a pool of lifetimes spent searching, yearning, and hoping for this very moment.
And I'm happy it was me.
As he gazed into Tav’s eyes, Astarion felt a surge of warmth in his dead heart. The kind that makes you question the simplicities of life - how rewarding it can really be.
“I have waited lifetimes to find you...” Astarion whispered, his voice soft yet brimming with sincerity.
Each word he spoke carried the weight of all the years he had spent praying of this moment, of this perfect hold he had around her.
How I prayed to every god for someone like her. Yet it was chaos that brought her to me.
“In every universe you are mine,” he continued, his gaze unwavering.
Astarion reached out a hand, trembling slightly with emotion, and gently brushed Tav’s cheek with his fingertips. She noitced him swallow hard.
Astarion was being truthful.
The pad of his thumb grazed over Tav’s bite marks on her neck, “For eternity.”
"Well, I'm glad to share this with you. Everything." Tav gave a fangy grin with her eyes crinkled and nose all scrunched up.
She cuddled into his arms, both feeling relaxed apart from Astarion with nervous jitters here and there. He traced small circles into her back dimples to edge off the nerves.
When should I ask?
Is now a good time?
What the fuck - how do people even do these kinds of things.
Mortals. ~Eye roll~
~
As the night sky stretched endlessly above them, Astarion and Tav found themselves nestled in each other’s arms. They lay side by side, fingers intertwined, gazing up at the twinkling stars that peppered the sky. Time seemed to stand still in this moment.
Hours slipped by unnoticed, their whispered conversations fading into a comfortable silence as they simply enjoyed each other’s company.
Astarion's ears perked up when he noticed the first hints of dawn began to paint the horizon in soft hues of orange and pink, "Tav!" Astarion softly shook Tav from her drifting off.
A soft glow of colors started to cast on them. Tav felt her cheeks flush with fever at the sight of Astarion’s eyes reflecting the light.
The sun on his face looked so handsome.
She turned away momentarily, staring up at the sky. Tav was looking waay too long because her eyes started to gloss over. But she couldn't look away, not when she was this excited to see the sun once again.
When she turned back to him, her breath caught in her throat at the sight before her.
Astarion was on one knee, a purple velvet box cradled delicately in his hand. The lid opened to reveal a golden ring that sparkled in the early morning light.
His face flushed a deep red in his cheeks and she had never seen him so nervous.
“Will you be my wife?”
Next part here
Any thoughts? Comment 👇🏼 I love to engage!
“I have waited lifetimes to find you. In every universe you are mine.” No matter the player and their looks, when romancing Astarion they will always be his love :] I thought it was sweet. BUT YES ASTARION. MAKE IT OFFICIAAALLL! i love soft Astarion
v-v to a fault.
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51 notes · View notes
resowrites · 1 year
Text
On Hold - oneshot.
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Summary: Phone sex between Henry and his girlfriend goes awry…
Pairings: AU!Henry Cavill x Girlfriend!OC
Warnings: NSFW 18+ only, light smut (mention of f masturbation)/innuendo, dialogue heavy, banter/British humour, fluff, language, pet names, nondescript OC body type/appearance, hastily written/lightly proofread.
WC: 1170
My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Likes, follows, reblogs and comments are thoroughly welcome and appreciated! Gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting!
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On Hold - oneshot.
"Oh, yes, good evening. Er, before we get started, can I just check the rates per minute?" She laughed.
"For the third time this week, you’ve got the wrong number. Now, piss off."
"Wait! This was the number advertised!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. In a phone box about twenty minutes from here." Henry could practically hear her pursing her lips, annoyed.
"Well try ringing from there cos you’re blocked on this number."
"Wait, I don't need long, just tell me what you’re wearing…" She grinned into her screen.
"Hang on… are you that knobhead who plays Superman? Can’t you find some actresses to bring back to your hotel?"
"Nah, they think I’m too old."
"Aww, have you told them how much you're worth?" He roared with laughter.
"Are you gunna touch yourself for me or what?"
"You’re an hour late darling, sorry."
"What d'ya mean? Did I wake you? I thought you sounded sleepy."
"No, I'm just laying in bed."
"At 9 pm? What you been up to?"
"Oh I didn’t tell you did I… got a new wand delivered. Great fun. Submersible too." There was a slight pause.
"Well, careful… don’t electrocute yourself." She smirked.
"Don’t worry, it’s rechargeable."
"Wow, and it lasted that long?"
"Longer than you." Henry snickered.
"Well you haven’t broken up with me yet, so it can’t be that good…"
"I was waiting till I got my strength back," he scoffed, "I’m not joking, I still can’t move my legs."
"Hang on, let me lie back for this," she giggled, "well you can hardly blame me! It’s been days since I’ve seen my beloved. She won’t even send me any pictures…" She rolled her eyes.
"Does she know you’re calling me right now?"
"Oh stop it, one bloody woman’s enough. Now take ‘em off."
"Take what off?"
"You know fine well."
"I really don’t."
"Yes you do. Off, now. Or are they still on the bathroom floor?"
"Says the man who probably took his off in the lift." Henry scoffed again.
"Christ, I’ve never known a woman make me work this hard for it from hundreds of miles away," she yawned followed by a long pause, "hello?"
"Sorry, if the line goes dead again it means I’ve fallen asleep." He giggled.
"That’s it, I wanna speak to someone else."
"What, like a manager?"
"D'ya know what I’ll just hang up and dial again shall I?! I might get through to someone nicer!"
"Sorry, it’s only me and Big Sandy tonight."
"And is she busy?"
"Well she’s only got two hands." Henry snorted.
"Fucking hell, why me Lord?"
"Oh darling, are you having trouble? You might wanna take something…"
"Well it'd be bloody wasted on you!"
"You’re telling me, fuck that wand is good."
"… How many times?"
"Six." He frowned.
"Yeah, right."
"What? That’s only six more than you’ve given me."
"Well it’s not my fault I can't vibrate! What do I do? Stick a battery up my arse?!"
"Tsk, typical man, always putting his needs first." Henry cackled.
"Did you even think of me at all?"
"No more than usual."
"Oh, I see. Still got the hots for the new weatherman on channel five then?"
"You mean the one who looks like you ten years ago but with a straighter nose?" He harrumphed.
"You know you're lucky I'm not there right now, you’d be getting a smacked arse."
"You wish."
"I do! You’re going over my knee the minute I get back."
"Only if you make it past the porch…" Henry smiled fondly.
"Christ I remember that time, how long had I been away?"
"Six weeks. You even tripped over a parcel." He laughed.
"… God I miss you."
"You’ve only got one more week, soppy bollocks."
"Way too long… please come visit me. You’re missing out big time on the food here."
"Darling you know how busy I am with work. How are the interviews going?"
"Awful, thanks."
"You poor sod, I know how much you hate talking about yourself…" Henry smirked.
"Oh fuck off, there’s only so many times you can answer: ‘so what’s the hardest thing about playing Sherlock Holmes?’”
"And what do you say? The accent?" He almost choked on the drink he'd been sipping.
"You know, all things considered… you're not in a very good mood."
"Can’t smile wide enough, thanks. I’m just knackered."
"Oh sorry darling. Do you want me to let you go?"
"No, it’s alright… gotta wait for it to recharge anyway."
"Oh, well then you better rest up for tomorrow."
"Hmm, think I’ll aim for ten." Henry sniffed sharply.
"Yeah well, enjoy it while you can cos the thing's going out the bloody window when I get back."
"Well there’s no rush…"
"Oh yes there is. I'm gunna drown you in how much I've missed you."
"Right, I'm hanging up. At least I don’t have to talk to the wand."
"Wait!"
"What?"
"What position you lying in?" There was a short pause.
"On my side, why?"
"… Which tit’s pressed into the mattress?"
"You’re a perv."
"Tell me!"
"Hang on, let me check…" He laughed, exasperated.
"For fuck's sake, why can’t we just have phone sex like a normal couple?"
"Cos you’re a pillock." Henry smiled.
"You love me though."
"Eh… you’re alright."
"Say it!"
"Ugh, don’t make me."
"Say it, or I’ll call you every hour on the hour until you do," she gave a heavy sigh, "oooh."
"What?"
"… Make that noise again." She tutted.
"Definitely not."
"Oh go on, you know I need you."
"Why, what happened to your hand?" He bellowed with laughter for what felt like the hundredth time since the call began.
"I love you darling."
"Me too. Seven times, in fact." Henry's eyebrows shot up.
"I thought it was only six?"
"It was but then my phone rang and it startled me." He started laughing so hard she could hear his headboard shaking.
"It wasn’t the weatherman by any chance?"
"I wish. Oh wait a minute, you work in entertainment. Try and get his number for me."
"If I do it’ll be to warn him."
"Mmmm you should have seen him today, talk about a warm southern front." Henry sighed.
"Why aren’t you like this when I’m around?" She bit back a laugh.
"I dunno, it’s like some terrible weight’s been lifted."
"Right well then I’ll bid you goodnight, shall I?! Tuck yourself up warm okay? And kiss our boy for me."
"Will do. Oh and be sure to rinse that shower floor, wouldn’t want you slipping tomorrow morning." She could almost hear him grinning.
"I mean it, I love you darling." There was another brief pause.
"Love you too."
"See! that wasn’t so hard, was it?"
"Either way, I’m disappointed in myself." Henry chuckled.
"Night-night wagon."
"Night, buggerlugs."
It was just as she hung up that a thought crossed her mind. He meanwhile sighed and switched on the tv. A few minutes later his phone pinged and he beamed once he opened the message.
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veliseraptor · 5 months
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November Reading Recap
Banewreaker and Godslayer by Jacqueline Carey. Absolutely fascinating series, I want to dig into it with a shovel. Can't recommend it.
For one thing it contains one of the possibly most differently, weirdly racist depictions of brown people that I've read in a fantasy book recently (somewhat reminiscent of Aboriginal Australian stereotypes who exist because their ancestors were "burnt" that color as collateral damage in a battle of gods); it's decent in terms of writing quality but nothing terribly exceptional, and it's riffing as nakedly on Lord of the Rings and The Silmarillion as Escape From the Bloodkeep was. Which is what makes it so fascinating to me - the way that it's looking at the same story (more or less) from the perspective of the god designated evil and his minions, and what it's doing with that - but again, while I want to excavate it and pick it apart, I wouldn't tell anybody to read it unless they were morbidly curious about it.
Silver Nitrate by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. I saw a lot of raving about this book and was really excited about it, but ended up feeling kind of...not let down, it was a solid three star book, but I didn't like it as much as I hoped. Part of that is probably because I was in it for horror and it ended up feeling pretty light on the horror - heavier on the film history, which is fine, but Siren Queen did that part better. It was fine, I wouldn't not recommend it to someone who expressed interest in it, but I wouldn't particularly include it in my stand outs of the year either.
Remnants of Filth vol. 2 by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou. Meatbun knows how to do (a) suffering and (b) fucked up relationships, and while this book's relationship isn't fucked up in quite the same "tailored perfectly to my interests" ways that 2ha was, it's pretty damn good. Very excited to see where this one goes.
Evidence of Things Seen: True Crime in an Era of Reckoning edited by Sarah Weinman. I was hoping for a little more from this than I got. It's pretty much just a collection of essays previously published online that come at true crime sometimes from a little more cautious/critical lens, but not in the way that I was hoping they would. I guess I was hoping for something that would be a more meta-examination of the genre and the issues it has, a little more introspective, but ultimately most of the essays were relatively straightforward true crime essays, just a little more thoughtful and with an eye toward a broader spectrum of stories than the "traditional" true crime stories. Not a bad collection, just not what I was hoping for/looking to read.
Was extremely funny to run into a surprise Michael Hobbes article that was very familiar from an episode of You're Wrong About, though.
The Haunting of Ashburn House by Darcy Coates. I enjoyed this one a bit less than the other Darcy Coates books I've read, but that's less its fault as a whole as it is "made use of loaded psychiatric language that I've grown increasingly uncomfortable with in reference to its villain" and I was just not totally on board with that. So I think as far as Darcy Coates books go it's probably my third favorite of three, but I still wouldn't not recommend it as a whole. It was certainly scary, and kept me reading the way that all her books have so far because I needed to know what was going to happen.
Our Share of Night by Mariana Enriquez. Sometimes I read a book and I'm like "I'm not sure I can say 'I liked this' but it sure did something to my brain and I think the something was positive, I want someone else to read this so I can talk to them about it" and that's why I'm giving this book to one of my sisters, because hopefully she will read it and then we can talk about it.
It was definitely a good book! It was a very good book. But saying "I liked it" feels sort of anodyne and quaint as a way of describing how I feel about it. It sort of reminds me of House of Leaves that way, which I guess is a recommendation in and of itself.
If anybody else reads this book please tell me what you think, I would like to discuss it with someone.
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I'm currently reading Children of Memory by Adrian Tchaikovsky (so far a winner, as everything of his I've read has been), but I'm looking forward to trying to dip my toes back into some nonfiction with The Underworld by Susan Casey and Robert E. Lee and Me: A Southerner's Reckoning with the Myth of the Lost Cause. Also need to read He, She, and It by Marge Piercy for my sci-fi book club. Other than that, I have a pretty open mind for what December's going to look like; since I'm going to my parents' house at the end of it I'll probably pick up something long-gone-unread from my old shelves there, which is always fun.
But I'm also considering making this the month I do my The Last Unicorn reread. We'll see how things play out.
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saltygilmores · 10 months
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Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls-Season 2 Episode 15-"Lost And Found" Aka Rory Loses Dean's Shitty Bracelet That She Didn't Even Care She Lost , Aka BraceletGate, Aka QuarterOnAStringGate, Part 3
Now for the contiuation of Gilmore Girls 7-10 MInutes At A Time Because That's All I Can Tolerate of Lorelai Gilmore. Or Until I Reach My Max Number of Screen Shots (30).
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Where we last left off, we were witnessing the complete miscarriage of justice wrought by AmyShermanPalladino wherein Dean The Butt Forrester is taking Rory to a town wide book sale and sulking like a little bitch while Jess Mariano is stuck slopping some bitch's gutters (and not sulking like a little bitch about it, I might add), some bitch being Lorelai Gilmore. This scenario has to violate some international treaty against war crimes. R: You sure you don't want to look around? DTBF: I did. R: For five minutes. DTBF: It was 20 minutes. Then I stopped. And you continued for another two hours. R: It has not been that long. DTBF: *shows Rory his watch* R: Oh, sorry. Thank you for mansplaining the concept of time to us, Dean The Butt Forrester. Speaking of time, I think it's time for your weekly ButtScout meeting, better get going.
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Judging by the four identical BOOKS BOOKS AND MORE BOOKS fliers affixed to the same door, I'd venture to guess there is a book sale going on. Maybe I'm wrong. Dean:
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EVERY GOD DAMN TIME. DEAN "WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME" FORRESTER! AND LORD OF THE RINGS IS LIKE FOUR HOURS LONG. THIS DOES NOT SEEM LIKE AN EVEN EXCHANGE, DEAN THE BUTT. WHY AM I SHOUTING. I JUST HATE DEAN THE BUTT FORRESTER SO MUCH. Well, if it means Dean shuts up for four hours (if he doesn't talk through the entire movie) maybe it would be a welcome relief for Rory. Crossroads with Brtiney Spears came out the week before this episode aired. This movie is 1 hour and 34 minutes long. Rory, follow my instructions very closely: open one of those books, place DTBF's hand in between the pages, and slam down. Enjoy his screams of agony. You're welcome. Rory, struggling to juggle an armload of books that DTBF isn't offering to help her carry, goes into Don't Make Dean Angry/ Don't Drop The Books mode and agrees to go. But the tone of her "Ok" wasn't pleasing to DTB and he snaps back with a WHAT? I thought you liked Lord of the Rings.
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No, I think you misheard the girl. What she actually said was "I want to see your genitals crushed with a lawnmower 100 times so you can never reproduce or have sex with Lorelai again" Oh, that was me, sorry.
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Love Rory in this moment. Here's your crown, your majesty 👑
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.......
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Who could have ever predicted the answer to that question, huh. Dean is a sub-humanoid butt astronaut. Jess Mariano would NEVER just sit back and watch as Rory walked around struggling to carry things.
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Oh god, it's all down hill from here people. The bracelet has escaped. I repeat, the bracelet has escaped.
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DTBF: Where's your bracelet? You're not wearing your bracelet. Where is it? R: I took it off. DTBF: Why? R: Because I got a rash. Well, that's what happens when you wear a bracelet made out of a quarter on a string. Who knows what sorts of bacteria were lurking in the payphone that Dean fished it out of?
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Simpsons and Gilmore Girls are such a winning combination. Rory looks terrified at how Dean might potentially react to her losing some cheap ass gumball machine bracelet. How would he react if she actually lost a gift worth more than 25 cents? (irrelevant, he would never gift her anything worth more than that). Joke's on her, it's going to be her Mom who really loses her shit about the cereal box bracelet.
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Oh this does not sound good. "You go browse the astronomy section, we'll see Lord of the Rings and then watch Autumn in New York later and mock it all afternoon." Lord Of The Rings, Fellowship of the Rings: 2hr 58 minutes Autumn in New York: 1hr 43 minutes Browsing the Astronomy Section, Possibly To Research What Distant Black Hole Her Boyfriend Emerged From: 5-10 minutes probably. In the Dean the Butt universe, everything benefits him in the end. Me, me, me. Sure he was married, but I'll say this about Rory, still kinda proud of her that she makes him wait over four years until she finally put out. If he was a little nicer maybe Rory would at least give him a handy or even two during the 3 hour movie. (ps, where did they go to watch AINY if Lorelai was at home with Jess? Did poor Rory get stuck spending the afternoon in the Forrester living room, with Clara interrupting and Dean's parents in the next room audibly discussing with one another how their son was an unfortunate accident that should have been left at the local Safe Haven unwanted infant drop off, and now Rory can't even hear the movie?) Rory agrees to this "deal" just to shut Dean up, a deal which benefits her in no way whatsoever.
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A double dose of nightmare fuel for ya'll so you can suffer alongside me. When you have to say "I'm not bored" to convince someone you're not bored... Moments ago Kirk was haggling with Gypsy over saving a nickel on a used book for charity and Kirk still comes out looking like a shrewder bargainer than Dean.
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You know, it's a good thing they serve nutritious lunches at Chilton (even if Rory only chooses to eat two slices of white bread most of the time) and that there are restaurants nearby who cater to the Gilmores even though they never pay for their food, because otherwise Lorelai's child would be subsisting on a diet of Ragu sauce, salsa, Triscuit, and Coke (with lemon). I guess it's marginally better than what Jess would find when he opened Liz's fridge as a child. Roaches and empty promises. Now you're sad. I'm taking you all down with me on this sinking ship of an episode, damn it. My will to live watching another one of these DALA (Dean And Lorelai Affair/Dean And Lorelai are Assholes/ Dean And Lorelai are having Anal sex with each other) episodes is kind of like the Titan submersible. Quickly imploded after a short descent. Nothing remaining. Mere atoms scattered into vast nothingness. Gone. It's so much worse when you've seen the show multiple times and already know that Lorelai's "goodwill" towards Jess in the next scene goes down as quickly as Lorelai goes down on Dean after he helps her change her water dispenser. We see Lor looking around and listening suspiciously, as Lorelais do when Jesses are in their house. Not hearing any sounds of gutter-slopping, she slips outside.
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This whole god damn episode exists because this smol infant just had to pick up that fucking quarter on a string. Why didn't you leave it on the bridge or return it Rory?! Why Jesstopher, why? I hate you right now. Your actions have consequences! People (me) are in pain. Don't you even care? Lorelai: Jess? Jess to Lorelai who treats him like shit: I'm sorry, was I being too loud? Stop being so nice. Ugh. Lorelai offers Jess some cold crappy leftovers. Figuring she probably put arsenic in his take out container, he politely declines, but then a second later he changes his mind, probably figuring death by eggroll sounds more peaceful than continuing to slop this bitch's gutters all afternoon.
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Do you ever just want to get inside Jess Mariano's mind? I desperately want to know what he's thinking here after Lorelai says she and Rory ordered every chicken item on the Chinese restaurant menu in one night. I'm just saying, that "ambitious" is loaded.
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Lorelai gets out the special plates reserved for special Poisoning occasions.
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I'm probably the only person who gets a small chuckle every time Jess is offered meat (see also: a hot dog) knowing Milo Ventimiglia is a lifelong vegetarian, so I like to pretend Jess is a vegetarian as well.
L: "We have Garlic chicken, kung pao chicken, Szechuan chicken, chicken in brown sauce." All those poor chickens gave their lives just to end up feeding Lorelai Gilmore, isn't that a pity. (PETA, pay me for your new slogan). L to J: This chicken has these hot peppers in them, if you eat them, you'll die.
But enough about your fantasies again, Lorelai. Jess politely accepts some food, offers to wash his hands before eating, gently chides Lorelai about how the Gilmores neglect their basic nutrition and home repairs, suggests he found a bumper sticker from the 1950's in her gutter, all in good fun, proceeds to have a perfectly nice if awkward conversation with this bitch who doesn't deserve it. We know Lorelai is going to erase the memory of this impeccably polite behavior from her mind in a few moments after Braceletgate gets underway. Sorry Jess, you can't win. You try to be nice, she tries to poison your food, and failing that screams at you for taking her daughter's quarter on a string given to her by a Butt named Dean. 14 years later she's married into your family and still saying someone should throw a football at your face. Not even worth trying to curry her favor. Just be yourself, hunny.
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Just admiring his gigantic watch. #AdmireTheBaby #ThePeppersAreTainted
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#AdmireTheBaby Lorelai plays "Geting to know Jess" and we find out some obvious things. School is "still there" and he's not involved in any after school activities and he would like to throw a ball at an athlete's head. Well, of course he has no extra cirriculars. He spends all of his free time being underpaid by his uncle to work in the diner. What extra cirriculars do you think Jess might enjoy? Let me know in the replies.
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It's okay, my little socially anxious baby, we still love you. I won't ever make a "Wow this thing knows how to talk" Lorelai-style remark. I can promise you that. I've been on the end of those comments and they hurt. I love seeing Milo eat with his crooked lip. Yes, I feel bad for him, after he said half his mouth is scar tissue from biting his lip so much while trying to eat, and he doesn't even feel it anymore. That being said, I still love him eating food vertically like he's gonna deep throat it. Egg rolls, hot dogs, popsicles and string cheese. The Milo is about to feast. Let's watch.
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Beautiful end to this part of my recap. CHOMP! To be continued.
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trek-tracks · 1 year
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What generic wisdom and/or life advice do you have? Here's an acorn for your trouble: 🌰
Oh, goodness! Talk about an intimidating ask.
When I think about existence, two quotations always come to my mind from authors who have been important to me at various stages of my life.
The first, from Kurt Vonnegut's God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater:
Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies — "God damn it, you've got to be kind."
The second, the last line from Robertson Davies' final novel, The Cunning Man:
“This is the Great Theatre of Life. Admission is free, but the taxation is mortal. You come when you can, and leave when you must. The show is continuous. Goodnight.”
These are two thoughts by which I've tried to lead my life.
The first lesson is kindness.
As an educator and person in a certain position of power over people's learning journeys, I'd like to say that kindness costs me nothing. That's not true. Kindness costs me late nights, extra review sessions, letting people hand in assignments in ways that are detrimental to my own time and stress. Connecting with so many people on a daily basis can be emotionally exhausting.
If there's one thing I have worked on more and more in my life (and need to continue to work on), it's walking the fine line between being kind and being taken advantage of.
However, I operate from the following perspective:
Everyone is having a difficult time, and there are things in other people's lives that are not "dreamt of in my philosophy," so to speak.
This perspective makes my life richer. I have never understood people who rigidly stick to a "one size fits all" mindset. I listen to people. I prioritize the person over the dropbox deadline. I say nice things to my family, my friends, my colleagues, my students, when I can. I practice grace in most things.
This also means that, when I do draw a boundary (for example, in my work as a professor, I do not tolerate plagiarism once I have very clearly taught what it entails), people can see that there is a clear difference between my usual practice of grace, and my ethical framework. It also means that people are more likely to extend me grace in return. I need it. We all do.
The second lesson is passion.
This is the Great Theatre of Life. We don't get to choose much about it, but we do get to shape the show.
I was talking to a former student the other evening, after I came across him in the lobby after my Lord of the Rings performance. He said to me that I was one of the few faculty he'd had that wasn't cynical or jaded yet, which is why he'd enjoyed my class.
The funny thing is, that's not entirely true.
In many ways, I'm very cynical. A fellow faculty member once said of me, in an approving tone, that I was "impressively jaded for one so young." Look. I'm Jewish. I'm bi. I'm disabled (in the chronic often invisible illness way). I know what the world can dish out, and I can kvetch with the best of them. But that's mostly because I want to believe we can do better. In any case, I can only control myself. I can do better.
First, I want everyone I teach to know that reading, writing, critical thinking, loving language, loving literature and theatre, are all things they can do, even if those gates have seemed barred. Opening these gates together can help them. I like to break things down as clearly and succinctly as possible. I don't expect people to show enthusiasm for something if I'm not showing it myself. Do I sometimes get super-mega-frustrated with the results I'm getting? Of course. There are parts of my job and my life that suck. Do I throw myself into things head-first with enthusiasm anyway? Always.
I do the things I love. I see tons of theatre. I make theatre. I sing (even if you "can't" sing, find time to do it anyway). I tell stories. I spend time with friends. If I have a choice to go to the thing or stay home, I go to the thing. I support my friends. I make people LAUGH, because I love that more than anything. I curl these things around me like a warm cat on a lap. And I try not to get jaded by the offerings around me, no matter how many shows I go to or how many papers I read. (I don't always succeed.) Can you imagine, though, how amazing it is to have a life where you're in danger of getting jaded simply by the sheer amount of art on offer?
Four years ago, a student came to me after the second week of my rhetorical analysis class. She told me that she had dropped the course with other faculty twice because she was intimidated by it. We were talking about one of the course readings for the week, which was a 35-year-old essay by a now-dead white man (everything she was not) with very strong opinions on the need to properly state your ideas in exactly the correct words to prove you were thinking.
She said, about the reading, “I didn’t understand it when I read it and thought I was stupid. But then, when you said it might not have been written with me in mind, I felt better. And then, when you broke it down and I understood it, I liked how much I liked that feeling.” Then she said something that made me cry in my office: “Things happen for a reason. I had to drop that class twice so I could meet you.”
She came to office hour after office hour. We spent time working on her writing and discussing what her particular frame of reference brought to her understanding of each week's readings.
She had dropped the course twice because she "couldn't do it."
She left with an A.
She left with a new sense of agency over her own experience of the wonder of the world.
What does it cost to be kind, and to love things?
What do we gain?
This is the Great Theatre of Life. All we can do is put on a show of kindness, watching with wonder before we depart.
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bigredsweetiepie · 18 days
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Thoughts about a certain someone🦷pt.1
Unfortunately for Mr. Glenn Jacobs, I think about Isaac Yankem frequently. Like, he is definitely one of my hyper fixations. 😅
I consider myself a scholar of this character and I honestly enjoy the design of Yankem. Due to the way that 90s wrestling and specifically the WWF was doing in '95, its really no surprise that the character tanked in a year. It's sad that he wasn't around for long, but it just wasn't reasonable for him to stick around too much longer after the Jerry Lawler -Brett Hart rivalry. He was a fun addition during that time, and it was camp!
Poor Glenn himself has said it was camp (not in a good way- and I don't blame him). If I was trying to support my family with my passion, and I had to portray a dentist with horrible teeth in the mid 90s, I would be understandably upset as well. I can't help but feel that the WWF was "playing in his face" because why would they put such a horrible gimmick to such a talented BIG man?
However, since his career took off afterwards eventually with Kane, I don't feel like a complete and total jerk liking IY. ( I think it would be a different story if his career died after portraying Yankem, but thankfully Jacobs is hard-working, resilient, and passionate to the point where he gracefully managed the hand he was dealt and succeeded!)
Now, let's talk character design and what I like about him.
Bc I'm a young adult on a Kane-posting tumblr you could imagine that my tastes are not......standard issue. I like deranged characters! Kane is a great, vanilla (ish) version of that. I also can't help but like the crazed doctor trope, something about it is always chef's kiss.
So years ago when I first found Kane and professional wrestling, I was absolutely giddy when I discovered that the man who portrayed him also played a deranged dentist?! Please lord. It was like a two for one special (but I also enjoyed Doomsday, Unabom , and Diesel II so it was like a coupon book).
His entrance music leaves less to be desired, I do enjoy that Jim Johnston included calming elevator music with the drill, but ya know, it is what it is.
Speaking of his entrance, oh my god ? The Yankem grillz on the screen? I think about those frequently . I really can't imagine that in the year '95 that it was edited on, so I imagine that it was a real pair of grillz that WWF made for Jacobs. I can't find anything on them, but they crack me up every time I see them.
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Also when IY walks out to the ring he'll say some phrases that are in character. There are two I can make out with my very poor lip reading skills and close listening.
It's time for an extraction.
(Care for your teeth ) you only get one set.
God that is perfect.
Continuing with the entrance themes, when he takes off his dentist smock? help?! He does it so aggressively.😅
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I love his attire anyways, especially how he has those long boots under his baggy pants, which were special because most wrestlers had tights on, so the fact he had baggier pants that hid long ass boots underneath is a great surprise ( see when he was tied up by Bret Hart on the turnbuckle). I somehow always expect smaller shoes, but the boots keep going up.🤣I somehow always see them as patent leather dress shoes.
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(I kinda want to make an entire post based on his attire bc I love it, so more on that later)
The way he moves in the ring is fantastic. I personally can't tell what Glenn was talking about when he said his matches were horrible. To a non-professional it looks fine. Maybe he was referring to this in a technical manner? I really have no idea. However, one thing I think he excelled whether on purpose or accident was how he moved in the ring. He moved stiff and rushed and rather chaotic, which I think fit a wrestling dentist (No offense Britt Baker!!). In theory if you were a crazed dentist, you wouldn't be graceful, fluid, or pleasing to look at while you were dissecting your patient opponent.
Anyways, I will probably make a part 2 bc that is a lot of dumping....
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obsoleteozymandias · 5 months
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hello, can i please get a romantic matchup for lotr? i go by she/her and i'd prefer to be shipped with a guy. i'm 19, and when it comes to my appearance i have like an olive skin tone kinda??? and i have brown, poofy curly hair, kinda like slash from guns n' roses if i had to compare. i have brown eyes and i stand at 5'6. im puerto rican and i speak a mixture of english and spanish, which sometimes confuses people. i'm currently in university studying physics and i also train at a krav maga dojo twice a week, in which i have a first degree blackbelt and specialize in kali (stick fighting). i also love music, specifically rock and metal. some of my favorite bands are the beatles, motley crue, and metallica and oh my god i cannot shut up about them. i'd say my music taste very much influences the way i dress, and has encouraged me to play electric guitar since i was 13, in which i play in a band now with 3 other close friends. when it comes to my personality i'd say when you first meet me i'm kinda quiet, i tend to observe people before i really talk to them, but once i warm up to you, i cannot shut up. i'm very sarcastic, and i have sort of a dry witty humor, and i'm also a very teasing person, which sometimes has not worked out in my favor. all in all i'm a pretty chill person. sorry if i wrote too much i've never like done one of these before, but anyways, i hope you have a wonderful day 🫶
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== The Lord of the Rings ==>
I match you up with…
Peregrin “Pippin” Took
Pippin is smitten with you from day one. He sees you: this tough woman who kicks ass and dresses like a badass, and he’s immediately giddy and flirty with you. 
He’s all over you. He wants to impress you so badly that he looks like even more of a fool than usual, but it’s…endearing. 
When he gets below your hard exterior, though, he finds a friend (and lover) for life. He’s always cracking jokes with you, and soon you’re snapping back with sarcastic comments that have him rolling with laughter. 
He enjoys being around you during the journey, especially since the tension often runs high, and you keep him down on earth. 
When he gets kidnapped, thogh? He can’t stop thinking of you. All he knows is that he misses you dearly, and he needs to tell you how much he needs you in his life when he sees you next. 
And when he does? He kisses you silly and is suddenly eons more mature than before. 
Well, as mature as Pippin gets. 
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