#like i am TRYING to watch the next episode but i CAN'T. why did they do this why did they make ezra lose another parent.

[rinhaler]

Thinking about plug! Sukuna saying "tell me you want this princess" and "say you fucking need me bitch" desperately when you don't respond :/

I can't write him anymore in this AU bc every time they fuck I want to tell him we love him but we CAN'TTTTTTT

warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, dubcon, smoking weed (implied), cheating, manhandling, size difference, slight pining, spanking, degradation, dry humping, vaginal sex, pet names (princess), hair pulling, he slaps u 🫶🏽 ++ squirting !

words: 1.5k

“What are you doing here?” you ask, attempting to close the door before he can come in. He smirks, managing to stick his foot between the door and the frame before you can shut it. “You can’t be here, Sukuna.”

He rolls his eyes, pushing his way inside and making himself at home. You lock the door quickly after him, standing with your arms folded as you watch him investigate your apartment. You can’t tell if he’s amused or disgusted, and it makes you wonder why he’s here at all.

“You really are a trust fund baby. Aren’t ya?” he smirks. “Here.”

Your eyes never leave him as he approaches your kitchen table, tossing a bag of weed down onto it. You stare, long enough for him to scoff as if insulted. And then you look at him, looking right back at you. There’s an expression of his face that you can’t quite read, and the silence between you builds and builds.

“What is this?” you ask.

“Weed. I thought you’d know that by now, you smoke enough of mine.” he says, it’s casual but not quite playful enough to be sincere. So you huff, folding your arms across your chest as you consider what to say next. “Don’t worry,” he starts.

“Well I am worried because you always want something from me when you give me weed.” you sigh. “Like a kiss or—”

“Heard you and Yuuji were arguing.” he interrupts you. “Thought you might need something to relax. I don’t have a motive… just trying to—”

“Trying to get your dick wet again, I’m not stupid.” you interrupt him right back. He looks at you, and this time you can read his expression clearly. There’s annoyance across his features plain as day, but you see traces of hurt, too.

Is it possible? Is it really possible for him to extend a kindness to you with no ulterior motive? It’s hard to believe. It’s hard to take seriously when you know the type of person he is. You don’t even really like each other. You’ve gone from hating each other to tolerating each other for Yuuji’s sake.

And still, you feel sorry for him.

He came all of this way, and you’ve hardly been a good host thus far. You sigh, sitting at the kitchen table. The weed must be his idea of a peace offering, so you shrug. He moves from leaning against the table to sitting on the seat opposite to you, watching you carefully as you decide what your next move is.

“I— I don’t even know how to roll.” you confess.

“… I can do it for you.”

Your laughter is infectious enough to make Sukuna laugh too. You’ve been watching old episodes of SpongeBob for an hour, and you can’t believe how long it’s been since you watched it. You always thought it was funny as a kid. But you hadn’t expected it to be even funnier as an adult.

But maybe you’re just high.

“Sukuna?” you say, it’s quiet in comparison to your laugh. But he hears it clear enough, looking down to where your head is rested in his lap. He nods to tell you to continue, but looking up at his harsh red eyes and chiselled jaw makes you nervous. “Why did you really come over?”

He clears his throat, taking a final drag of his blunt before stubbing it out in the nearby ashtray. His eyes can barely meet yours as he searches for the confidence to tell you the truth.

“I just wanted to see you.” he confesses.

You turn off the TV and sit upright. You’re sitting beside him, and now, he can’t take his eyes off you. A squeak leaves you as he dares to pull you closer to him, so close that you’re straddling him.

You hate yourself.

You want to kiss him.

He smirks at the little internal conflict that’s plastering itself across your face. His hands smooth up your sides, one travelling further to take a firm grasp of the back of your neck. His hold is strong, but not forceful. Just enough to keep you in place and maybe bring you closer to him and he leans in to kiss you.

And you let him.

Your lips lock and you moan as he helps you grind down onto his growing bulge. He smiles against your lips as your mouth opens just enough for him to slip you some tongue. A primal growl rips through him as he feels your warm, clothed cunt rub against him just right.

“Tell me you want this, princess.” he says quietly before kissing you again.

You don’t respond, focusing on kissing him back and getting yourself off like a horny teenager. Your hands cup his face, and you continue to roll your hips against him pathetically. Heavy breaths and wanton moans leave you as you proceed to chase the feeling and carry on giving Sukuna what he wants just as desperately.

You do want this.

Your pitiful display can attest to that.

His hands wander again to squeeze your ass, Sukuna’s own moaning at the mere feeling of your pussy soaking his sweats should be enough to make him feel ashamed. He doesn’t care, though. Not when your lips are on his and your entrance is just two layers of fabric away.

He rests his head on the back of the couch, allowing you the time to tell him. Really tell him how much you crave him.

But you don’t.

Not a single word.

His eyes grow darker, more impatient. Could he be wrong? The way you’re using him tells him otherwise, but he wants you to tell him. He needs you to. A hand spanks hard against your ass cheek before he moves it to slap you across the face.

And it shocks you.

His other hand wraps around your hair and forces you closer to him again. Noses almost touch as he looks at you like a meal to be devoured by an animal in the wild.

“Say you fucking need me, bitch.” he demands.

You can’t tell if you’re nodding on your own or if he’s doing it himself with your hair. But you crumble, for him. Spilling your desire and crumbling under his stare, admitting your deepest shame.

“I n-need you, Sukuna,” you bite your lip. “Please.”

He reaches under your skirt to move your panties aside. His patience is thin, he just wants to feel you. He quickly pulls his cock out from beneath his sweats, lining his thick tip up with your dripping hole.

“Fuck.” you gasp, eyes watering as he repeatedly dips in and out of you.

You screech as he forces you down on his length, and he grunts at the sensation of your cunt forcing itself to accommodate his girth. He’s loud, and he doesn’t care in the slightest. This is what he wanted all along.

This is always what he wants.

He helps you ride him, even fucking up into you shallowly to help hit the spongy spot deep inside that always makes you delirious. The spot only he can hit. Not some random guy. Not his little brother. Just him.

“That’s it, princess,” he praises you, noting by your pretty face and spasming cunt that you’re nearing your demise. He’s not much better, either, ready to coat your insides at any given second. He’s holding off, though. He needs you to cum first. “Let go, make a mess for daddy. Go on.”

“C-Can’t—” you tell him. The stretch is glorious and the feeling of his pretty tip battering your g-spot is perfection personified. But it’s too much. It’s too much to focus on and ground yourself to really enjoy and let yourself go. You’re struggling to take him. You can’t give him what he wants and—

He forces your little crop top up to rest beneath your collarbones, quickly sucking and kissing your nipples between his soft lips. His tongue laps at them. And God he’s wasted being a fucking drug dealer.

He should be a porn star.

He pulls away as you clamp around him, throwing your head back from the blissful feeling as your cunt soaks him. Your squirt all over him, turning light grey sweats dark as you almost scream through the feeling of your release.

The sight is more than enough to make him finish. His balls tighten and cum coats your insides as he finishes with you fully seated on his cock. Sukuna’s arms hug tightly around your waist, pulling you flush against him as he empties himself in your womb.

He slowly continues to make out with your tits when it’s over. His energy spent but still desperate to feel you, please you, hear you in any capacity. The overstimulation drives you wild, you do all you can do wriggle away but it’s hopeless.

Sukuna is stronger than you’ll ever be, and you’ve given him full control of your body.

© 2024 rinhaler

[skzhua]

Episode five.

MASTERLIST

pairing: XO, Kitty's Min Ho x Female Reader

genre: Fluff, angst, enemies-to-lovers, slow burn, coming-of-age.

word count: 3.8k

warnings: Swearing, mentions of divorce, mentions of deceased parents, some cringey asf moments.

summary: Transferring to KISS was the last thing you had asked for and, yet, a certain tall boy made it seem both worse and better than you expected.

note: Bold - Korean, Italic - Over the phone

a/n: I am beyond overwhelmed by the amount of love this series is receiving. It means so much to me, you have no idea. Thank you <3

(let me know by filling the form in my bio if you want to be added to the taglist!)

There were bad days, and then there were bad days. And Min Ho was clearly having the second one. After you slammed the door in his face, he dropped on the couch next to Q. He might have hoped a little that his friend was going to be of any moral support but he couldn't be any far from the truth. Q was still pissed at him. In fact, almost everyone he knew was.

Dae came back to the dorm after Q left to go to bed. Seeing Min Ho alone, he greeted him kindly.

"You're here. How was your day?"

"It sucked." Dae gave him a sad look as Min Ho let out a sigh. "It sucked."

He went to sit across him and gave him a sad smile. "What happened earlier, I'm sorry... Things are crazy these days."

"I know, that's why I'm trying to help you." he said in frustration. "Why are you keeping secrets from me? You didn't even tell me you were dating Yuri all summer... And why did you tell Kitty about Poopy Baby?"

Dae gulped, not saying anything back.

"Are you really my friend?"

He let himself fall back on the seat in defeat. "I'm such garbage."

"Well, at least you know that."

"Hey. You still have feelings for her, right?" he was replied with a hum. "If I can be honest, I saw something today. On the Internet. Randomly! Accidentally!"

There was a pause before Dae hopped on his chair as he suggested they play Overwatch. After agreeing to order hot wings and do face masks, Kitty walked in and rushed to go see Q in his room. Dae's stare lingered to the door and Min Ho snapped him out of it.

Overhearing it all, you heard them call Kitty out of the room to show her something. Curiosity got the best of you, so you joined the others and walked up behind Q to watch what was going on. The sight horrified you. Why would someone stream their roommate in their sleep?

"What? My roommate put me on some weird website as I was sleeping." Kitty scoffed.

"I don't see the appeal." Min Ho sighed.

"And yet you somehow found the site."

He looked at you as you grabbed his attention but only received a death stare from your part. You definitely needed to work on your weird dynamic.

"Kitty, you should move." Dae said, more like an command than a suggestion. "You can't live with this girl anymore."

Q nodded. "Yeah, I agree with Dae. This is kind of sketchy."

She huffed. "I tried but there is no other room."

"Uh, how about a hotel? My driver could take you right now." Min Ho offered although he was well aware this wasn't an option.

"I can't afford that for an entire semester."

"I'm sure Dae can hook you up with a discount at Han Hotels."

"Shut up, Min Ho." you said, growing more annoyed with him by the second.

He raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "Just trying to help."

"You helped enough today."

Before another argument broke, Q's face brightened as an idea popped in his mind. He offered to switch rooms with Dae for Kitty to come live with the rest of you again. In secret. Though unsure, she agreed because of how much she couldn't take her roommate anymore.

Chuseok used to be your favourite day of the year. You would have a delicious meal with your parents at home, free of worries and problems. Your mom's japchae was what truly kept the tradition living. Needless to say, their death definitely left its mark on you but it became easier with time. And tomorrow, you were going to enjoy it to the fullest. At least try to.

Kitty had spontaneously offered to organize a Chuseok for the expats of the school and begged you to help her out. You would have turned it down but her pleas were almost getting on your nerves that you gave in. She asked you about traditional meals you'd cook with your own family and you put together a list of ingredients she would need to buy. As the list only got longer, you opted to go grocery shopping together.

"Can you get soy sauce? I'll get the gochugaru."

You went to the end of the aisle as she called out for you to ask which kind of sauce she needed to get. Being already in front of the gochugaru, you assumed she could wait a second more for you to pick it up. You crouched down to get it off the shelf. Satisfied with the brand you chose, you got up and were greeted by Min Ho standing in front of you, a basket in hands. His shoulders dropped as you stared back at each other, you doing the same.

"You're seriously everywhere." he complained.

"It's not like I intend on seeing you everywhere."

Kitty came next to you with her cart, having picked out herself a random bottle of soy sauce. "Min Ho."

"And Kitty? You two are like my own sasaengs." he scoffed which Kitty seemed to not have understood.

"What's a sasaeng?" she asked, confirming your thoughts.

"Like a very obsessed fan." you explained. "But we're not."

"Yeah, sure." he smirked at you.

"What are you even doing in a grocery store?" Kitty asked.

"Yeah." you added. "Shouldn't you be on a yatch being rich and annoying?"

He faked a smile. "My dad is doing that with wife number three with her new fillers. I have decided to stay here as a favour to all women who want a piece of me this Chuseok."

He sent you a look before pulling a box of chocolates out of his basket. You could do nothing but roll your eyes at how pathetic it looked.

"Strawberries and chocolate? I'm going to be sick." Kitty said in a boring tone.

"I'm sure Lulu would appreciate it."

This caught your attention. "Lulu? The pop star? You got her to be one of your Min Hoes?"

He scoffed as his infamous smug look appeared. "That's cute, puppy. And she's only the fastest rising popstar in the country."

"And?" Kitty said, not sure what point he was trying to make.

He held up his phone to show you a picture of Lulu but you only frowned.

"We've been flirting since her trainee days." he justified.

"What a surprise." you said sarcastically.

Nonetheless, you couldn't ignore the feeling in the pit of your stomach. It felt like it was ripping apart and you only hoped it didn't mean what you thought it meant.

"She's on break from tour for the holiday. Even K-Pop stops for Chuseok." he continued.

"Okay." Kitty said, unimpressed.

Min Ho analyzed the content of your cart and frowned at you. Taking a pack that laid on top of the rest of your items, he showed it to you.

"Do you even know what to do with this?"

You snatched it back from him. "We're fine, thanks."

"I am admittedly entering new territory but with the help of TikTok, Y/N, and a positive attitude, I'll manage just fine." Kitty said and you facepalmed. "If not, I've won awards for my mashed potatoes."

She was about to push her cart forward and walk away but Min Ho stopped her. "No, no, no. As a Korean national, I cannot in good conscience let you desecrate my native cuisine like this."

"You do know I'll be doing most of the cooking, right?" you asked.

He acted as if he hadn't heard you and dropped his basket in your cart before removing Kitty from her spot to push it himself. "Do you want to poison your classmates or do you need my help?"

"Min Ho." you exhaled.

"This is me being kind right now."

Kitty sighed. "Fine. But I'm still making my mashed potatoes."

You and Min Ho groaned at her words and walked towards the next aisle. She followed behind in panic, telling you to not mess her system up.

While she was watching you two add products to the cart, you kept on bickering on anything really. Disagreeing on certains articles, disputing over a certain dish he wanted to cook, complaining about what you wanted to make...

You managed to go up to the cash register and he insisted on paying for it all. Having fought enough with him, you didn't protest and he helped you and Kitty with getting everything back to the dorm.

You got up from bed earlier than usual, wanting to focus on the side dishes you planned on making. It was going to take a while to get everything done so the sooner you started, the better.

What you didn't expect was to see Min Ho already standing in the kitchen as he dressed in a black tank top with a funny-looking apron over it. He didn't see you right away but he was quick to do so when you let a laugh slip out of your mouth.

"Well, well. Who's decided to be an early bird this morning?" he snickered, referring to your usual moody self when you wake up.

"Looks like we've had the same idea. I wanted to start cooking right away." you said as you went to stand next to him. "Need help?"

He shook his head. "I'm good. You can start on the budae jjigae, though."

Doing as told, you took the ingredients out of the refrigerator and Min Ho moved his own material to leave you space to work. It was silent but unlike normally, it felt nice. You almost dared to think that you liked being this comfortable with him.

"What's this?" you asked about the basket on the stool.

"My mom got it for me, my love language is gifts."

"I would have never guessed." you joked.

"She sent it from Los Angeles since she couldn't be here." He looked down. "We usually spend Chuseok together."

You smiled sadly. "It must suck, I get that. My parents and I never missed Chuseok together. Well, until... yeah."

"Right."

He cleared his throat to ease the tension and continued to chop his onions. You watched him go at it and were pleasantly surprised by his skills.

"I would have never guessed you knew how to cook. Nor would I have expected you to help Kitty. I suppose you can be nice."

He gave you a side eye. "I'm famously anti-Kitty, I'm only doing this to honour our traditional food properly."

"Try to convince me. You have a soft spot."

He chuckled while shaking his head. "Well, if you want me to be nice so badly, should I ask if you're okay?"

You cocked your head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"With your parents and all. I bet it's not easy."

You nodded. "Yeah, definitely a difficult holiday." you breathed out.

"I'm sorry but can I ask what happened?"

You looked at him and saw his eyes softened. "It's..." you hesitated. "They had a business trip and never came back." you kept it short

He rubbed your arm and you shivered at the contact. "That's awful. I'm sure they're looking after you. They must be proud."

Your breath hitched as you felt his head hover yours. You didn't dare to look up but you knew he was looking at you.

"Thank you, Min Ho."

You felt him breathe on the top of your head. It was unsteady and hot, you felt like you were about to melt.

"Good morning." Kitty yawned, coming to join the two of you.

You jumped away from each other and focused back on your tasks, attempting to forget what had just happened. "Hey, slept well?"

"I guess." she yawned again. "Oh, Pepero." she said excitedly and reached out to get it from Min Ho's gift from his mother.

He slapped her hand away. "Don't."

Hours of cooking went by and you were happy to have almost forgotten about your moment with Min Ho. Almost. Having finished with your budae jjigae, you sat at the stool and watched Kitty make her mashed potatoes. Growing bored, you connected your phone to the speakers and scrolled through your playlists to find something to add to the ambiance. After selecting one song, you heard a phone buzzing. Min Ho took his device out and smiled as he replied to a text.

"Confirmed Lulu will be at the premises at 8pm." he said with a smirk before putting his phone away.

Your stomach felt weird again.

"I'm sure she'll love the chocolate." Kitty smiled sarcastically.

"The chocolate was actually for," he began to say and moved his gaze to focus on you. "someone else."

Kitty eye-judged him as she kept mixing her potatoes.

"Hey, don't judge." he exclaimed. "Not all people need to be star-crossed lovers to be compatible. Like, hot people, for example." he pointed to himself. "We can, and want to play the field."

You mentally thanked him for saying that as it gave you a reminder that he was nothing but a jackass. That helped the weird tug in your belly go away.

"That's because you haven't found your perfect match." she looked at you for a second and you coughed in disapproval.

Min Ho grunted. "I've found many, many matches."

"I'm just saying, I've seen the magic when people find the one." she smiled to herself.

"That's sweet to think, Kitty." you said in a bored voice, not believing in what she was saying.

"Y/N's right. My parents both thought they found the one." Min Ho continued. "They were the 'it' couple. Beautiful, young starlet. Chaebol heir. The tabloids literally called them the perfect match. Look at them now."

Visibly, the divorce of his parents seemed to have impacted him more than he would admit. You kind of felt bad but, again, this was Min Ho. He didn't deserve your empathy.

"I'm sorry." you let yourself spill out unintentionally.

He shrugged. "Whatever."

Kitty coughed to clear the atmosphere and served him a bowl of her potatoes for him to taste. He took a spoonful of it and hummed as it was better than he thought.

"It must be weird to have people know all about your family." you continued on topic.

You were glad that he didn't mind keeping on telling you about it. "They think they know, they don't really. That's my point."

You nodded in agreement and he continued.

"There's really only one thing that matters at the end of the day."

"Which is what?" Kitty asked curiously.

"The truth." he responded as if it was obvious.

You helped Kitty with organizing the place. As more people came to her gathering, you welcomed everyone nicely by offering them drinks. You saw Q and Florian arrive and joined Kitty's side to say hello.

"Wow." Q breathed out in amazement. "People are calling this Chingu-seok."

"What?" Kitty asked and you were starting to wonder if she really was working on her Korean like she told you she was.

"It's a pun with chinggu, which means 'friends' and Chuseok." Florian explained. "You started a new tradition."

She was in awe but it was ruined when her eyes spotted Professor Lee. "Oh, no. Why is he here?"

"Because he's sad and lonely." Min Ho answered making you almost choke in your orange juice. "Mind helping me, Y/N?"

You followed him to the main table where you had placed the food dishes. He passed you a bowl of cold noodles and asked you to bring them to a table. As he was placing a plate himself, Madison appeared out of nowhere and waved at him.

"Min Ho, hi."

He shut his eyes closed, clearly not wanting to converse with her. "Hello, Madison."

"I wasn't expecting you to be here." she frowned but then noticed the plate he was holding. "Oh my God, you cooked."

"Yes, but I'm not staying long. Got a date tonight."

You had heard enough and moved to the entrance to invite people in. The weird knot in your belly came back and you absolutely hated it. You hated even more that Min Ho was seemingly the cause of it.

"Y/N!" he called out for you again.

With a lack of enthusiasm, you came to him and he asked you to put the plates away with him. Madison had left so you saw no problem in giving him a hand. Happy with the result, you went to Kitty's table together and stopped to look for which seat to take. You sat at the edge of the table, two seats away from your professor. Although awkward, Kitty was going to be in front of you anyway. Plus, you were only there to enjoy the food.

"Hey."

You raised an eyebrow at Min Ho. "You're sitting here? Willingly?"

He repositioned himself on the seat next to you and shook his head. "No. Yes? Just drop it."

"My bad."

Q insisted for Kitty to make a toast and she did a great job as she mentioned sweet thoughts such as gathering together and her mother. She ended her speech with a 'cheers' and you clang your drinks together. With Min Ho's first.

"Happy Chuseok, little pup." he nudged your shoulder. "Thank you for the food."

"Thank you to you too." you smiled.

You started to serve yourself and were, honestly, overwhelmed by how much food there was. You wanted to taste each one of them.

"Can you pass the japchae?" Min Ho asked Q.

Your head rose from the mention of this specific food. "You made japchae?"

He put it down in front of you two. "Yeah, first thing this morning. Didn't you see?"

You shook your head as a no. "I haven't eaten that in years."

Min Ho brought your plate closer and dumped some in it. "Dig in."

The last time you had actual good japchae was at your last Chuseok with your parents. None had own up to it so far and you were curious to see if his cooking skills were as good as he claimed them to be. You took a bite and chewed slowly. Your eyes grew bigger and you shook his shoulder.

"This tastes exactly like my mom's."

He chuckled. "Really? She might have sent you my way so you could taste it."

You rolled your eyes. "Don't ruin the moment."

He shrugged. "I'm just saying." he checked his phone quickly. "I'm off... to fulfill my destiny."

"Ah, Lulu?" you asked and he wiggled his eyebrows at you while getting up.

"Can't wait to read about it tomorrow." Q commented.

"Wait, you're leaving?" Kitty stopped him.

"Hello, hot date with popstar? Later, sasaeng." he tapped her head and walked away.

You felt disappointed he left. Of course, you would never admit it out loud. To suppress the annoying tingle that seemed to never go away from your chest, you focused on the japchae. Taking more and more bites of it, you reminisced your parents. You missed them terribly. But you were convinced they were watching you and you wanted to make them proud. Min Ho said they would be, after all.

And there it was again, Min Ho coming to your mind. You tried to shake it off but he simply wouldn't go away. And now you pictured him being with his date at this exact moment...

Ping.

You took out your phone from your pocket and read the messages you had just gotten.

Min Ho: Y/N!

Min Ho: Y/N, answer!

Min Ho: Help me!

Min Ho: I don't know who else to call, come help me!

He was definitely going to be the death of you. Putting your pride aside, you left the dinner to head to the school's entrance. You looked around but there was no one. You yelled out his name a few times but you were left unanswered. As you were about to give up and go back to the others, Min Ho's head popped out of the bushes.

"What the hell did Kitty put in those potatoes?"

You looked at him curiously. "What the- Weren't you going out just now?"

"Y/N, answer, please."

You shrugged. "Milk, cheese... I heard her mention it."

He squinted his eyes in shame. "Really, that little piece of-"

"Min Ho." you stopped him but he then groaned in pain and you heard his tummy rumble. "Awe, Poopy Baby. Are you okay? Do you need help with the potty?" you teased him.

"Real funny." he said while his face stayed still. "Lulu could come any minute now. You have to get rid of her. She can't see me like this. But keep her hooked on me."

You scoffed. "And why would I do that?"

"If her fans find out, I'm done for."

"Sounds like a you problem." you replied and started to walk away.

The sound of a car brought your attention back to where Min Ho was and you immediately connected that this was Lulu. Cursing at yourself, you turned back on your heels and greeted the idol with a forced smile.

"Hi." you bowed at her as she stepped out of the car. "Min Ho's running late."

"Who are you?" she asked in a bored voice.

"Min Ho's fanclub president, first in line for a date night with him."

You wanted to die just then and there. Fanclub president, what were you thinking?

"Uh?" she said, confused.

"My date with him just ended. I can't believe I even got to see him up close."

And more will to bury yourself ten thousand miles deep.

"That jerk double-booked me?"

You smiled, almost afraid of what you were going to say next. "He is the most handsome guy at school. I'm not going to lie, he ruined me for other guys. He's just so... well, you know."

"Intriguing... But I refuse to come second. You tell him I come back at 6pm tomorrow night. And that he better clear off the rest of his schedule."

"Oh." was all that you could say.

"When he has a night with me, he won't be seeing anyone else after."

She got back into the car, not leaving you time to say something back, and took off. Min Ho scoffed in disbelief.

"How did you do that?"

"Talent?" you answered, although it came out more like a question. "You owe me."

"I know, I know."

You stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do next. "Well, I'll go now."

"Y/N, wait."

Halting on your steps, you looked at him, confused, and waited for him to go on. He cleared his throat and looked anywhere but at you.

"The chocolate. It was for you. You can take them when you get home."

You froze. "For me?"

"Yeah." he affirmed and finally looked at you. "As an apology for the other day when I yelled."

You let out a small laugh. "Love language is gifts, uh?"

He rolled his eyes. "Say thank you and we move on?"

"Thank you, Min Ho." you smiled.

taglist: @nanaspalette | @schniti-is-in-the-house | @bakugou-katsukis-wife |@soobin-chois | @honeydewpie | @snoozeagustd | @justemalove | @n1ninunwo0 | @loislucky | @kuromomori | @lysira340 | @lenilla15 | @upsidedownjill | @woozarts | @aar0n3tte | @hy-eins | @olivetheoryx | @b1tch1macow | @dreaming-hope25 | @jiaant11 | @boba-tea1206 | @callsign-haze

Copyright © 2023 skzhua. All rights reserved.

[krisdreaming]

One Week

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsuro x f!reader

Summary: You and Kuroo decide to spend the week leading up to your wedding sleeping apart. After all, it will make your wedding night feel that much more special, right?

WC: 2.2k

A/N: Hopefully the text message format I used makes sense 😬 This is 100% inspired by an episode of How I Met Your Mother in which Marshall and Lily do this exact thing. Tbh it's my comfort show and this is like my 5th time watching it, and when the episode came around, the fic idea hit me like a truck. ALSO there is a small reference to one of my old past fics in here, and if you get it you're a real one.

By the time you get to your best friend and maid of honor's apartment, it's late. The whole day had been spent putting together all of the favors and décor for your wedding, now only one week away. You're so exhausted you feel like you could fall asleep on your feet right here in the entryway, but she pulls you the rest of the way inside, wrestling your bag through the door after you.

"Geez!" She huffs. "Why's this so heavy? You didn't pack Tetsurou in here, did you?"

You roll your eyes. "A week is a long time! I had to pack a lot of stuff. Besides, bringing him would kind of defeat the purpose, wouldn't it?" You raise an eyebrow. This had initially been your idea, after all. You thought that spending the week before your wedding away from each other would make the night of your wedding that much more special. Since you already live together, you figured some time apart would probably do you good, anyway.

"I suppose it would," She agrees, "But I know how you two are." You narrow your eyes at her, but before you can respond, she's already tugging you toward the living room.

"I've got the sofa bed all ready for you," She announces with a proud flourish, and you feel almost like you could collapse just at the sight of it. It's full of fluffy blankets and two giant pillows, and she's even generously loaned you one of her plushies.

"It looks like heaven," You groan, stifling a yawn. "I'm wiped."

"So am I," She agrees, fighting back a yawn of her own. "Guess we'll have to save the sleepover girl talk for tomorrow night," She shrugs. "It'll be just like middle school all over again!" She loops her arm through yours, and you can't help but giggle at the thought. The two of you sure did share some wild sleepovers back in the day. "Alright," She finally says, "I'll see you in the morning."

When you're finally ready for bed, you crawl under the covers happily. You snuggle into the pillows as you cocoon into the blankets, trying not to think about how strange it is to be lying in bed all alone for once. There's no warm body wrapped around yours, and not even your cat to curl up against you. "Guess it's you and me, Mr. Unicorn," You murmur as you tug the plush into your arms, giving in easily to the exhaustion pulling on you.

The next day is busy enough at work. You're only working for the first two days this week, having taken the rest of the week off to focus on the wedding prep. Between tying up all of your loose ends at work and the mental to-do list you keep adding tasks to, the day passes with very little thought of Tetsurou. It's not until you're laying in your sofa bed that night after a movie and snacks that it starts to hit you.

You hug the unicorn plush close again, but you're very aware of the absence of your fiancé. You're so used to his arms around you at night, his nose pressed into the nape of your neck.

Maybe it's silly, but with all of the stress starting to weigh down on you, you find yourself missing the comfort of his presence much more than you'd anticipated. With a sigh, you roll onto your back and reach for your phone. Your thumbs only hover for a moment before you hit send.

I miss you

It isn't long before your screen lights up with a reply.

You literally saw me yesterday you weirdo

Is it bad that even that teasing sentence brings you some sort of strange comfort? You're just about to type a reply when another message comes through.

Which is why it's so ridiculous that I miss you too

You can't help the smile that steals across your face at that. For some reason, the knowledge that he's feeling the same things you're feeling lessens the ache a bit.

It's dumb

You feel confident in saying it, now that you have this thread of connection with him.

You said it, not me

Comes his cheeky reply, quickly followed with,

Mittens won't leave me alone. I think he thinks I murdered you and disposed of the body.

You almost chuckle aloud at that.

Poor guy, he misses me too 🥺 and honestly, his fears are valid

You curl up on your side, holding your phone close.

Uncalled for

And then

I'm about to fall sleep, so I'd better go. I'll see you later this week

You try your best to ignore the disappointment sinking in your gut.

Me too. Goodnight, I love you

His reply comes almost immediately.

I love you too. Night

It's enough to satiate you, anyway. On Friday, only four days away, you'll see him for the rehearsal. That's not really so far away. As you lay there clutching your phone, you can feel your eyes growing heavier.

The next day is just as crazy, as you give your coworkers instructions for your absence and make sure all of your projects have been submitted. After work, you go straight to dinner with your bridesmaids, and the whole evening is spent talking and laughing together.

By the time you make it back to the apartment, you should be so exhausted that you all asleep immediately. You definitely feel it, but from the moment you lay down, the hollow feeling slowly returns to your middle. You hesitate when the thought first occurs to you, but it seems reasonable enough. You'll feel better if you can just hear his voice for a few moments.

"Hey Baby," He answers after two rings.

"Did I wake you up?" You blurt out quickly, instantly feeling guilty and wishing you had just tried to fall asleep.

"Nah," He assures you, "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing's wrong," You sputter. "I just-"

"Missed me?" He finishes for you, and the teasing lilt in his voice is almost enough to make you hang upon him on the spot.

"Maybe," You respond petulantly instead, and he laughs. The sound of it, even through the phone, is enough to set you more at ease.

"Who knew you were so clingy," He muses. "Just can't get enough of me, huh?"

"Maybe I'll just hang up," You huff.

"Wait," He says a little too quickly, and you smile to yourself. Gotcha. "Mittens wants to say hi, too. You can let him know you're not dead." Suddenly, the phone line is filled with the rumble of your cat's purr.

"Hi baby boy," You croon into the phone, "Dad isn't being nasty to you, is he?"

"You're on speaker," Tetsurou warns as Mittens lets out a small meow, and you laugh. "Plus I'm not his dad," he reminds you as he always does.

"Sure, whatever you want to tell yourself," You laugh again. You're feeling so much lighter, in a good way. As your laughter dies down, you try to hold in a yawn.

"Sounds like you're ready to fall asleep. I know you've got to get up early tomorrow to meet the florist."

"Hm, yeah." You acknowledge begrudgingly.

"It'll be here before you know it," He says softly.

"I know." You hold the phone to your ear for a few moments in silence. "I can't wait."

"Me neither. I love you so much." You can tell he's getting tired because he's getting sappier.

"I love you too, Tetsu."

"Say it again," He says it so low that you almost don't catch it.

"I love you," You repeat. "Good night, Tetsu."

"Good night," He echoes. "Love you, Baby." Even after the line goes dead, you can still feel the smile on your face and the warmth in your middle. As you fall asleep, you set an ultimatum for yourself. For the next two days, you won't contact him at all, just like you'd intended. Piece of cake.

The next day, you hold to your promise. After a busy day spent running here and there, the sofa bed has never felt more comfortable. You resolutely set your phone face down on the end table and close your eyes tight. Tonight, you're not going to break. You're a strong, independent woman. You tell yourself that until the long day finally gets the better of you and you drift off to sleep.

Finally, it's Thursday. One day until the dress rehearsal and you see Tetsurou again. You're proud of yourself. Sure, you'd only made it one night without contacting him, but technically, you haven't seen each other at all. You're going to count that as a win.

You actually have some time to relax before bed, and you and your friend pull out all the stops. She's got an array of face masks, fancy lotions, and even a foot spa she'd pulled out from somewhere. You're just laying out the last of the snacks when your phone dings. It's a message from Tetsurou.

You didn't call yesterday

Very interesting.

Sorry, I didn't know we had an appointment

His reply comes almost immediately.

I'm outside. Come out for a minute?

It's all you can do not to laugh out loud. Still, he came all this way. You shouldn't let it be for nothing. You glance at your friend, mind working quickly to think of a valid reason you'd need to leave the apartment at this time of the evening.

"I'm going to get in the shower," She suddenly announces. You can't believe your luck. Your stint as her roommate proved that she is notorious for taking long showers. "Don't eat all of the Takis before I'm back or else."

"Would I do that?" You ask, hand splayed across your chest indignantly. She shoots you a glare and heads for the bathroom. The moment you hear the shower turn on, you slip on a pair of shoes and you're out the door.

You practically run into Tetsurou the moment you step outside. "Hi," he says sheepishly, with his familiar crooked smile. You launch yourself into his arms, and he immediately holds on tight.

"Hi," You breathe back, finally pulling back enough to look into his face again. "We failed," You say solemnly, before breaking into a grin.

"We did," He agrees, pressing a kiss to your lips. "Spectacularly."

"She's in the shower," You explain quickly, "So I shouldn't really stay too long."

"Alright," He says absently, thumbs tracing a pattern against your hips.

"You didn't bring Mittens, did you?" You crane your neck around him to check for the cat backpack you'd purchased on a whim a few years back.

"Don't be ridiculous," He says drily. You pout, and he kisses it away.

"I missed you," You sigh against his lips despite yourself, and you feel his lips curving into a smile.

"I missed you too." He admits. He pulls back again, and you silently drink him in. "We're getting married in two days," He says candidly.

"We are," You agree, grin threatening to burst off of your face.

"And I'll see you tomorrow at the dress rehearsal," He adds.

"Mmhmm," You nod. You glance at the time. "I should get back inside," You say reluctantly. In response, he pulls you in for one last kiss.

"Goodnight. I love you. So much."

"I love you too. So so much." Before he can one-up you, you pull away and turn back inside. "Goodnight!" You call over your shoulder.

The moment you step through the apartment door, you freeze. Your friend is standing there, arms crossed. "How was Tetsurou?" She asks coolly, a smile playing at the edges of her lips.

You open your mouth, then close it. "I was just getting some fresh air?" You finally say weakly.

"And I'm Albert Einstein." She replies, turning for the couch. "Come on," She pats the cushion next to her, beckoning you forward. "You two are disgusting," She adds as an afterthought. She's shaking her head, but she's smiling.

The next 48 hours are a whirlwind, but at the end of it you find yourself at your wedding reception, seated next to your husband. You'd made it here, and now you feel like you can finally draw a breath.

"Wait, so did you guys actually last the entire week without seeing each other?" Kenma suddenly asks skeptically, looking between the two of you. You glance at Tetsurou. Clearly, he hadn't shared the truth with his best man. Your maid of honor opens her mouth beside you, but you nudge her under the table with the sharp toe of your shoe. Since it is your wedding day, she stays silent.

"Sure did," Tetsurou says, grinning broadly as he slides his arm around your shoulders, brushing his fingers against your skin affectionately. "It was worth it," He adds, pressing a kiss to your temple. You lean into the press of his lips. Yes, it certainly was.

[l0ves1ckf0ol]

OUT OF MY LEAGUE | rowan x gn!reader

"rowan was sure he was going crazy, who was he to assume, you were out of his league. "

disclaimer: this is a rollercoster of emotions i just rlly am a simp for calum ross (hes so cute ibwanna cry)

rowan was no school jock, no teenage prodigy, nor did he have the best social skills. he was a nobody and below that and he was fine with that. the one who always got picked on, the one who no one bats an eye at, the one who's ignored. you, on the other hand- the complete opposite.

you weren't bianca level popular, you just knew a lot of people, and got along with everyone. you were also the one who started the glee club, bianca was the one who's in charge of all the choir activities. you were only interested in rocking away with your guitar.

you were in the library, chatting and gossiping with your friends, instead of studying for a test. rowan was reading a book he was given to by principal weems, he had another episode at the quad last week, since his powers tend to go out of hand when in distress, it was a book on how to maintain calm.

you noticed this as you had the same interest in rowan than you'd never admit. not that you were ashamed, you wanted to have a little slowburn with him after all.

both of you weren't interactive a lot, but you always sat next to him in thornhill's class because no one wouldn't, to him you were out of his league, he thought he sat next to you because you felt pity. your reason was far from it though, you couldn't care less about how smart he was in this class, people thought you only sat next to him because you needed to raise your grades, but no, in fact you couldn't care less for the class itself.

you could stare at him all day whilst he explains plant biology over and over again, with those pretty lips. the both of you had also noticed that you can't take your eyes off of each other. rowan was sure he was going crazy, who was he to assume, you were out of his league.

so once your friends left you hurried next to him, pretending to read a book, when really it was upside down and you didn't even notice cause you were busy peaking through his hair that pretty much covered the sideview if his eyes.

rowan's eyes flicked towards your direction so quickly you jumped in your seat, "your book is upside down." he says adjusting the rim of his glasses, closing the book and putting it down the table.

you chuckle nervously and placed the book beside his, "so i um..." you trail off, trying to air out the awkwardness, he stares at you blankly. "about outreach day, do you think there should be a choir or a live band at the town park?" you asked him, he pursed his lips and thought for a while. "i mean we did do choir last year, i haven't heard you sing live so live band sounds a lot cooler." he tells you, keeping his cool.

"cool, cool." you mumble out as you lay your head at the table, still looking at him, he's both confused and flustered. why were you looking at him like that, a gaze of longing and more so you didn't stare straight into his eyes. he noticed that you were eyeing his lips.

"what is it?" rowan chuckles nervously, feeling the blood rushing towards his cheeks.

"nothing. you're just nice to stare at." you winked at him, his cheeks turned to an even deeper crimson. "wh-what?"

you sat on the table and smirked at him, lifting his chin up towards you by your index finger. "i only personally invite people i like to my performances, i'd see you there right?" you told him, he widened his eyes and his breth hitched, eyes on you. "sure, y-yeah..." he fumbles. "yeah?" you test him, a glint in your eyes he can tell how much it meant.

"yes, of course y/n." rowan repeated and he was surprised that your arms flew around his neck, squeezing him tight. "thank you!" you lengthen the last letter as he hugs you back, rubbing your back whilst doing it. you pull away and smiled at him, hopping down from the table and about to go out the library, rowan only watched you still dazed from the interaction. once you reached the door, you turned around, "oh and just in case you didn't catch the hint- i've liked you ever since the start of the school!"

then you left, rowan's heart was quickening and the butterflies in his stomach, his red cheeks- it never left. how could you leave him like that? so flustered he could barely even move, frozen to the spot still cannot fathom those words. "I've liked you ever since the start of the school."

[pablitogavii]

Omg can we get gavi and reader watching the Barca new era documentary together!!! It would be so cute I feel like gavi would be so humble and flustered 🥹

Movie Night

"Do we have to amooor???" Pablo was whining while you were making some popcorn in the kitchen very much excited to watch the four new episodes of Barça Documentary.

"Yes, we do cariño! I can't wait to see it!" you say jumping on th couch with a bowl of popcorn in your lap and he pouted that you didn't sit on his lap and let him cuddle you. Pablo isn't much of a talker so he would never ask but you knew his love language is definitely physical touch.

"Do you want something cariño??" you tease him seeing his blushed cheeks as he looked away pretending to look at his phone but you saw right through his little tough act. He wanted to be cuddled and was too proud to admit it like always.

You chuckle leaning in and kissing his pouting lips before putting the bowl to the side and straddling his lap seeing the smile shine on his face.

"Did I guess right huh??" you ask feeling his hands let go off the phone immediately and go around you.

"Mhm.." was all he answered pulling you closer and smelling your hair before leaving sweet kisses on your shoulder and neck.

"You're such a cuddle bug Pablito" you giggle feeling his strong arms wrap around your body holding you tightly.

"Hm.." Pablo groaned wanting to move his kisses lower but you pulled back shaking your head and grabbing the remote from the table starting the first episode.

"Good try!" you smirk starting the first episode and he groaned laying his head on top of yours as you nuzzled your nose into his neck.

You were very much focused on the screen listening to everything while Pablo was braiding your hair, leaving kisses on your shoulder and a few pecks on your lips.

"Your little giggle is adorable Pablito" you say making Pablo flustered which was also one of the most adorable things to witness. Not many people can get him adorably shy like this and you were proud of be one of them.

"This is why I didn't want to watch it!!" he whines pretending to hate whenever you baby him but you both knew he was a big baby at heart. You moved off his lap since he wanted to lay on your chest and have you play with his hair as you played the next episode.

"I really love you in gold kit amor..so handsome" you say and he smirked looking up at meeting your eyes as you both smiled.

"I thought purple was your favorite one loquita?? I always dress you up in that one when we have our 'playtime'.." he smirked and you rolled your eyes knowing that one is definitely one of your main weaknesses. Now you were the flustered one and he was very much proud of himself!

"Sush amor! I wanna hear the interview!" you turn the volume up seeing Pablo speaking on the screen wanting to pay attention to every word feeling very proud of him in this moment.

"The kinds of accidents you had during these seasons were truly chilling. How does your family react to them? They surely get worried?" question asked

"When I'm on the pitch, I don't think about anything but the game. My family does get scared and so do I when I re-watch it but most of all, it's my girl that takes it extremely hard" he said and you were curious now to hear more blushing that he called you "mi nena" in front of everyone.

"She worries a lot about you?" question came and Pablo was smiling brightly into the camera.

"Yeah, she does. I hate to see her cry whenever I get injured but that's part of my job. She always begs me to be more careful and I try to play so sharp for her but sometimes there is no alternative you know..." Pablo answered and you smiled looking down and pecking his lips.

"Is it hard delegating between a relationship and professional athletic career?" was another question.

"I thought it would be which is why for awhile I was single but with her everything feels right. She's my biggest support system and I am so grateful for having found her." Pablo finished and you felt your eyes fill with tears as your heart melted. You didn't expect him to speak about you let alone in such a deep and sweet way knowing how shy he gets in front of camera.

"Aww preciosa..don't cry" he said getting up from your lap and holding your face while kissing away your tears as you hands went behind his neck playing with his hair while kissing his lips lovingly.

"I love you so much cariño!" you say and Pablo smiled into the kiss nodding his head and kissing your forehead before pulling you into a tight hug.

"I love you too mi nena..even when you make me watch myself on TV" he smirked after the last part and you both giggled before kissing each other passionately. For the rest of the night you binge watched the new season while cuddling on the couch and enjoying each other's company.

[respectthepetty]

Pit Babe Colors Ep. 12 The Black Parade Episode

I'm challenging myself with this show and seeing how good my color skills really are, so I'm doing my normal thing of watching it double-speed on mute, but now, the captions are off also. It's just colors and vibes here. Y'all done told be EVERYTHING, so I know the entire plot now.

THAT WAS A TEAR! KENTA IS CRYING!

I thought it wasn't just sweat last week but knowing he is actually crying as he thinks about their past did immediate damage to me, and now they are ALL standing there in the dark with Way and Pete highlighted by the blue, and, and, and . . . Kentana are you gonna die? You and Waymond are stressing me the fuck out!

Now that I know they are both enigmas, I can't see them the same. Are they using their superpowers on each other right now? Are they reading each other's minds? Are they trying to figure out how to get Kentana back, so they can make this poly?

Kentana, how many times are you going to have this man spit in your face before you realize that he ain't shit? Go to your room, turn on Billie Eilish's "Happier Than Ever" and really hear it. "Never told anyone anything bad cause that shit's embarrassing. You were my everything, and all that you did was make me fucking sad."

The blue keys in front of the red product placement is all I need to be reminded that this show refuses to allow me peace.

Shocking absolutely fucking nobody, Kentana did not listen to "Happier Than Ever"

And now someone is gonna die because there are only so many ways for you and Waymundo to redeem yourselves, and if you have Jeffrey in all black, I'm worried it's gonna be your funeral we will be planning next, Kentana.

There is one episode left and I am death gripping the one time Vegas' Hedgehog wore blue because I will never get it again. I hate them.

Real question: Is Barbie pregnant? I know he is sad Charles is "dead" *eye roll* but he is taking pills, getting fruit thrown at him, and staring out into space. I would love to believe he is going through his Edward-left-Bella-so-she-was-super-duper-sad era, but now that I know pregnancy is on the table, that's all I can see.

Oh, thank goodness! Someone actually has a tracker on his phone! But Kimberly has been kidnapped, caught up in human trafficking, and is now beating up children. Bro, what was your life before it all went to shit? Do you ever call your mom and tell her these are your friends now? Are you even still racing? Nevermind. Go catch those kids.

The problem with black is the shades. Waymond's jacket looks green. Peter's pants look blue. And yet it still feels like we are preparing for a funeral. A real one this time. Not fake like someone else's *cough* Charles *cough*

Kentana, are you betraying Jeffrey as Big Red watches? Or are you asking him how Peter's been? Has he been well, without you? Is he dating anyone? What is his status with Way? Well, Jeffrey wouldn't know, but Peter x Waymond could be poly if you get out of that fucking house and stop kidnapping people!

Going from Kentana in that House of Horrors to Pete looking like this makes me understand why Kentana is out there kidnapping people. I'd feel some type of way too if my childhood crush looked like this and was getting chummy with a dude who looked like Way Way. Damn.

What the hell is this?! The cover of a boy band album? A meeting to discuss poly? The Thai version of Barbie where Ken(tana) explains why he won't leave the Mojo Dojo Casa House? AND WHY ARE ALL OF YOU WEARING BLACK?! Someone is gonna die.

Did Big Red know Kentana went to see Barbie and the other Kens?! Was he sent there by Big Red?! Kentana is really breaking my heart on his knees hugging this man like this. I want to slap Kentana all the time, but I also want to hug him and tuck him into bed with a moon nightlight calmly lighting up the room.

Let's stick him in a video game, so he can learn to love himself.

Push him down the stairs, Kentana! Do it. PLEASE! Shoulder check his ass at least.

Oh Lord, NO! Waymond, do not take a fucking bullet for anyone. You canNOT die by Whiny Winifred's bullet. I refuse to let you go out like that. You finally used your powers for good, but this is not the time to die.

Y'ALL DIDN'T EVEN GRAB THE BAG!

This is Mission Kim Possible all over again! How do you not grab the damn bag?! Waymundo looks so damn good in his suit, so thank God he is still alive, but what the fuck guys?! One job! SECURE. THE. BAG.

I hate how good everyone looks in black because I keep swinging through emotions. I'm terrified for everyone yet very attracted to everyone. All the guys connected to Big Red have been in black this episode regardless if it was their color or not, so I'm hoping that means the funeral will be Big Red's.

A cult meeting, in this economy? Villains make the dumbest decisions.

Waymond has some white on . . . over black. Please Mary, mother of God, do not let him do something stupid.

Alan, did you just say "eff them kids"? No. Not my Alan. He'll be back for them. Right. Right?

Peter is gonna Regina George his way into this Halloween party that he was not invited to just to cause some havoc. Mad respect.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

How the hell did Charles get there?! Did Barbie's dad tell him to go to the cult meeting? Dressed like that though? Did his spidey sense go off? So many questions, but all I know is Kentana better let them go, so he doesn't have to die.

Whiny Winifred better not get better at aiming in the final episode because I still need both of these two to wear blue TOGETHER.

WAYMOND, NO!!!!!!!!!!

Good to know it only took being kidnapped twice and (possibly) someone dying for Jeffrey to finally commit to the blue.

My nerves are wrecked. There was too much black this episode. Someone is going to die, and as much as I want it to be Big Red, I just don't feel good that Kentana is still on his bullshit, and Waymond keeps jumping in front of guns. Peter needs both of his boyfriends to live.

Also, Barbara, I already know you are immediately going to hug Charles next week, instead of having a moment to be pissed all the way off at him like you should be, so I'm going to start meditating on that right now. I've been mad at Charles the entire season, so I'll hold this grudge for both of us in the finale.

[chiibinomonodamon]

WHO WANTS TO HEAR ME RAMBLE ABOUT GAY FURRY DEMON SEX? XD

(damn, there's a sentence I never thought I'd say....)

Okay...so I see some Stolitz confusion and bashing online and I need to type up a defense here because I won't be able to sleep otherwise lol

I consider myself to be a Ship Critic and someone who takes shipping rather seriously.

What I mean by this is, I like to analyze and break down romantic relationships between fictional characters because it's just interesting to write for me. I especially take delight in friendly debating with opinions that I strongly do *not* agree with.

Let me start off by saying I am NOT a "this ship is awesome because gay furry sex lol" type of girl.

FAR from it. I'm generally more passionate about hetero ships between human characters (because I can relate to them more) among other reasons. So if you wanna dismiss my defense as "shallow fangirlism", you can forget about that lame excuse.

I fell in love with Hazbin Hotel when it was finally released in February and suffered waiting for each new two-parts per week. During that time, I decided to watch Helluva Boss as well, after a friend showed me a particularly soul-crushing clip (Moxxie's childhood trauma about his mother).

Yes, I like funny sex jokes as much as the next goofy adult but scenes like this, scenes that carry a very heavy emotional weight are what really get me in the end, even moreso when VERY little dialogue is exchanged. I knew I had to watch the entire episode run after seeing that the creators had a talent for this.

I saw people asking:

"How did Stolas go from using Blitz as a sex toy to being painfully in love with him?"

Oh I can tell you. I can tell you the EXACT moment this is revealed. But it's not spoon-fed to you; it's quite subtle actually and this is why lots of people miss it.

See, one of the strongest talents Vivenne has shown me is that she REALLY knows how to get her characters to communicate their feelings to the viewers JUST from their expressions and body language. These can be 'blink-and-miss-it' teeny little scenes and it may require a couple rewatches.

But since people demand time stamps for all information others post here, I'll rewatch a few scenes from S1 E7 'Ozzie's' as I'm typing this.

'Ozzie's' remains to be not just my favorite episode of HB...but probably my favorite episode of any adult-targeted animated show outside of Japan (aside from S2 E7's Mid-Season Special)

It has this huge reveal for both Blitzo and Stolas.

We'll first address Blitzo's irrational, stalkerish behavior of Moxxie and Millie.

He's obsessed with them. He finds both of them very attractive, fantasizes about threesomes with them and is constantly inserting himself into their personal lives.

Why?

Because they have everything that he badly badly wants for himself.

They have the perfect marriage and he is trying to live THROUGH them.

This was hilarious to me at the beginnning of the show but it's slowly revealed that it's one of the most tragic and depressing things I've ever seen. And it's scarily realistic too.

But you know this already so let's move on...

Blitzo follows the couple to Ozzie's but he can't get in without a date. So he calls up Stolas and yes, this is very low but he doesn't realize how much this means to Stolas (hell, I'm not sure even Stolas realizes it himself!) but the owl man is giddy with joy, he rushes over and they enter Ozzie's.

When Ozzie and Fizz mock Moxxie for being so sappy towards his wife, this strikes a chord with Blitzo (because they're his IDEAL relationship) and he speaks up to defend them.

NOW PAY CLOSE ATTENTION; THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART:

Fizz, still holding onto his past grudge turns on Blitzo to humilate him:

"Some nerve you got commenting on a relationship"

Time Stamp: 11:37

As Fizz says "-ship", Blitzo VERY QUICKLY makes eye contact with Stolas who has a look of panic on his face. Blitzo is seeking VALIDATION from Stolas in this sharp, subtle second of screentime, as if to ask

"Well, ARE we in one?"

And then what happens next...Stolas remains silent, Blitzo's ex joins in to announce how selfish Blitzo was in bed with her, tearing him down further. Stolas stands up like he's going to put a stop to it but then Ozzie notices him and interrogates him about sleeping with Blitzo.

Blitzo looks incredibly ashamed and guilty as Stolas blushes with similar feelings...and hides his face behind his menu; HIS BIGGEST MISTAKE IN THE SERIES SO FAR.

Time Stamp: 12:24

The look on Blitzo's face as he grits his teeth and darts his eyes away basically says

"Yeah, I should have known...boy am I an idiot for trusting him to stand up for me".

(look how SHOCKED he is...wow, this hurts fr ;_;)

This is a silent betrayal on Stolas's part. Afterall, his reputation is on the line, so if he were to defend Blitzo, it confirms they are in fact, dating. He chose his pride over Blitzo and Blitzo is crushed by this betrayal.

Moxxie finishes his song and kisses his wife tenderly. Stolas watches this and also wants to have an affectionate moment with Blitzo (who is rightfully glaring daggers at him) and tries to reach for his hand.

Blitzo rejects his touch and suggests they leave. As they do, Blitzo still looks furious and hurt. Stolas is now realizing how badly he screwed up with a "What have I done?" face (13:41)

He even looks disappointed with himself.

After Blitzo drops Stolas off, he thanks him and tries to smooth over the awkwardness with sweet talk but Blitzo just rolls his eyes in disgust and pulls on his face like "I don't want to hear this bullshit".

He responds coldly and curtly, "Yeah." Stolas makes more suggestions to spend time with him, which just makes him even angrier and he snaps

"I'm not fucking you tonight, okay!

I'm really just..." (14:28)

he pauses to wipe a tear because at this point he can barely hold it together (top notch voice acting and animation directing btw)

"...not in the mood, Stolas."

Stolas still tries to talk him into doing couple things unrelated to sex.

Blitzo's face switches back to anger and frustration because Stolas isn't getting the message so he goes for the blunt tactic;

"Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but YOU wanting ME to fuck you, okay?"

(14:42)

"You make that really clear all the time."

(again his voice sounds like he's about to break down)

"But I-I just can't do it tonight, okay?"

(Finally meets his eye)

"...I'm sorry."

I believe this is code for "I'm sorry we're even in this situation and how your reputation got damaged. " Or, more painfully, "I'm sorry I'm such an embarrassment to you".

Stolas replies "Okay" and takes a deep breath to compose himself. They say goodnight and depart.

An important note here is that Stolas calls him "Blitzo" instead of "Blitzy" to show more respect.

As Blitzo zooms away coldly, Stolas looks up at the sky with tears in his eyes, surprised at how much it hurts.

He then sits down with his head in his hands in anguish...because he's getting that

"Oh...no. These feelings are real" epiphany.

And as if this wasn't enough angst, Blitzo collapses onto his couch at home, goes through the memories on his phone and starts sobbing.

I'm going to be real with you; this is the most heart-breaking shit I have ever seen in an adult show of this type. It's also the first time a show of this type got me to cry.

The last six minutes have revealed so much information without spoonfeeding it to the audience because the show RESPECTS its audience.

To recap:

*Blitzo takes Stolas on a first official date to use him

*Stolas is extremely happy about it

*Blitzo gets humilated and looks to Stolas for validation

*Stolas betrays him and breaks his heart

*Blitzo snaps that their relationship is nothing more than lust-driven sex

*Stolas realizes he's actually in love with Blitzo and it's a huge problem because (he believes) that it's unrequited.

*Blitzo breaks down because the ONE person whom he thought would protect him didn't do so.

So these two are convinced that neither one loves the other...while the irony is, it's quite the opposite.

Because if Blitzo REALLY didn't feel anything towards Stolas, he would not have gotten this emotional.

Yes, they are both lonely...but I really don't think that's all there is between them.

So..........we know WHEN they started falling...now the question is why;

I think the answer's quite simple; single-target affection.

It was mentioned in S2 that Stolas and Stella did sleep together ONE TIME...but Stolas didn't enjoy it at all. He is stuck with a wife who hates him so much that she put a HIT on him...and a daughter who thinks he's a loser. Blitzo is pretty much the one person in his life who is able to make him happy. That one small, bright spot. He enjoys the sex with him but he also simply enjoys his company, as shown in Ozzie's episode. He is thrilled to simply talk to him about his day...and do anything else that couples do. They're complete opposites. Stolas is an intellectual but naive and sheltered. Blitzo is poorly educated but cynical and street-smart. Opposites attract...though this is likely more from Stolas's POV than Blitzo's.

In other words, Stolas is into bad boys xD lmao

In Blitzo's case, Stolas is the only character who shows him physical affection which he desperately craves. He's pretty tsundere about it most of the time...but I think he actually does enjoy that attention...especially when he's always getting disrespected by Moxxie and Loona..and quite a lot of people around him. BUT he's too scared to get serious with anyone because of past trauma and he also believes that no one could possibly love him as a person. :(

Reasons I Think This Love is Real

Aside from what I pointed out in the Ozzie's episode...there's quite a lot of evidence, esp from Stolas's POV.

After he realizes he's in love, he goes to Asomodeous for an ALTERNATIVE method for Blitzo to use so they will no longer sleep together. He wants to set Blitzo free. Which means he DOES truly love him because love is about being generous to the other person. He COULD be totally selfish about it but he isn't.

Asomodeous mentions how against love potions he is and Stolas agrees. He thinks that's out of the question.

'Look My Way' music video. Lol I don't have to say anything more.

In S2 E6 OOPS

This exchange at 16:57

Fizz: Seems your taste has gotten more 'regal', lately?

Blitz: Yeah, well unlike you, I fuck who I want WHEN I want. I'm not gonna be tied down to some big blue-blood asshole.

Fizz: You coulda fooled me the way Prince was cozying up to you at Ozzie's.

Blitz (gets very defensive) HEY! Stolas only cares about have a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress, okay!

It's nothing...(gets hesistant and looks away)...you know...

(Fizz gives him a 'bitch please' look xD)

"it's nothing else."

Fizz: Then why were you even there?

Blitz: OTHER very important reasons of course.

Fizz: Whatever. I don't actually care.

Blitz: Stolas is just a loud, thirsty BITCH!

(Fizz is rolling his eyes again)

Blitz: He loves feeling the thrill of getting dicked by the lower class.

It's a novelty to him.

Fizz: LITERALLY just said I don't care!

Blitz: And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was!

And he'll pretend to care about me and comment on my photos laugh at my jokes...

Fizz: (Smirking) OH! That's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit!

Blitz: I KNOW, RIGHT??

Fizz: (Making a 'What in idiot' expression, shaking his head)

Blitz: HE'S JUST A FAKE, PRIVELEDGED ASSHOLE...

Fizz: Sounds like you just hate him for being a prince!

No one (laughs) and I mean NO ONE pretends to care that much just for a cheap lay.

All right. IF ANYONE knows what real love is like, it's Fizzaroli...who is in a very HEALTHY relationship with Asomodeous. He recognizes the signs because he's IN that place. He sees it...and he's annoyed that Blitzo keeps denying it and brushing it off...yet clearly can NOT stop talking about Stolas (amusing irony)

To sum up (this freaking essay lol) 'Stolitz' ABSOLUTELY has the potential to be pure and true...these two just need to communicate...or Stolas has to PROVE to Blitzo that he's serious about his feelings in another way.

There is no doubt that this ship is 100% endgame and is a case of the 'Earn Your Happy Ending' Trope. I look forward to the rest of the journey. Ron is putting my feelings about Stolitz in a perfect phrase:

[lurkingshan]

10 Things I Love About Ossan's Love Returns

Y’all. Y'ALL. I am stunned right now. I am verklempt. I never thought I would end up here. But here I am.

I bounced hard off the original Ossan's Love. Like, hard. I DNF'd and immediately memory holed just about everything I knew about it. But people I trust (namely @isaksbestpillow and @twig-tea) said this new series was an improvement on the original, and that I didn't have to go back and try rewatching the first series to dive into this one. So of course I, a jbl devotee, had to give it the old college try.

AND TO MY SHOCK AND AWE, I LOVE IT. This show is excellent. This is Japanese media at its absolute best, showcasing the precision in writing, directing, editing, and acting that they can reach when they are firing on all cylinders. This is the kind of comedy only a Japanese production can get right, because it requires a mastery of all these elements that you just can't get in less mature filmmaking industries. This is the best example I have ever seen of this kind of broad comedic style grounded in real stakes.

So let me tell you why this show, which is available for the international audience on Gaga (and with subs coming from Sirii, as well!), is worth your time:

This is a story about an established relationship between adult characters. Y'all know how I feel about the dearth of this we get in drama! Maki and Haruta have been long distance for four years and are moving in together to start their married life as this show begins.

The writing is unbelievably strong. Everything that happens matters, the characters always make sense, and the jokes are genuinely so fucking funny.

Kurosawa, or Chief, as I refer to him, is one of the funniest characters of all time, in any drama. The way this man had me laughing out loud in every scene! I felt like I got a workout.

This show is a feat of editing. I have been watching a string of shows recently that are getting hamstrung by bad editing, so let me tell you, it was a true pleasure to watch a drama that executes editing tricks so deftly and with such an eye toward sharpening its story and enhancing its jokes.

It has excellent female side characters. We have Chizu, my favorite lady bestie who is here to whip Haruta into shape at all times, and Chuoko, an actual archer who also has her own little romance going, and Haruta's mom, an unbothered legend who just wants to eat her food and get to her dates with her boyfriend.

There's a mystery! Next door to Haruta and Maki are two creepy mfers (brothers?) who are Up To Something. Or not! I don't know but I’ll find out!

We are getting an actual dialogue about gay marriage. Haruta and Maki consider themselves married, but have no legally binding contract and have not yet had a wedding, and they talk about this and their feelings about it often as they are negotiating their lives together.

We may have some aroace rep happening?? This is still pending but my radar is pinging hard for Takegawa to join the incredibly shortlist of explicitly aro and/or ace characters in bl.

DID I MENTION THIS SHOW IS FUCKING HILARIOUS. I cannot overstate the number of times this drama had me straight cackling in three short episodes. I had to get up and do some laps to walk it off.

The show is extremely well paced and I trust it not to waste my time. No small thing in these bl streets! The odd episode order (9) and tight pacing of each of the first three episodes tells me the creators of this show know exactly what they are doing and how much time they need to execute their vision.

This show is airing live for the next six weeks and I strongly encourage you to watch it and come join the fun with us!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - There's so much airing even I'm struggling to keep up

That's why I'm late.

Aug 2023 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 6 of 8 - Oh no. I am totally in love with the escaped young master & his smitten bodyguard. How did that happen? (Be careful P’Thee the broken ones are the most tempting. Tin understands.) NO SINGING! Trust Thai BL to destroy any moment of sentiment I might have by picking up a damn guitar. And we finally get Charn’s Batman villain origin story. Good use of back hug! This is a GREAT show. Melodramatic as fuck, but GREAT. Gotta say this pair in NOT Thailand’s best kissers but not everyone can be Zee++. Still I think that + singing + a touch of overacting is likely to keep this out of the 10/10 club.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 1 of 12 - Rich /poor dynamic with characters & set up exactly as expected. Chimon is great. Perth is good too. A real rich-kid bully, Heirs level or Japanese F4 evil. All the teachers are also corrupt (that’s kinda a Thai thing, I think because they can't call out the government). I gotta say, Marc is doing a bang-up job as the jock friend, too. And the kiss twist was fun. All in all, this is good. And you know me, I love a high school BL.

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Sat YT) ep 1 of 12 - The time travel historical romance many of us have been waiting for. Adaption of y-novel by Violet Rain, from the producers of Lovely Writer. Heartbroken architect is transported to the 1930s. Nonkul (actor playing Jom) keeps reminding me of Cho Han Gyeol from Love Mate. It’s a bit slow to start but interesting when it hits its stride. The pacing feels like a Chinese historical (makes me wonder if this with be 4 or 6 act structure). Nonkul is a wonderful actor. They weren’t sharing the screen for long, but the leads seem good together. I’m in. 

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 2 of 10 - Well. It’s entertaining, I'll say that for it. Addiction. Manipulation. Queer as folk & all that jazz. (No jazz for you, Thailand. Oh no! I’m giving them ideas.) I would like it to turn out that Mew is actually manipulating everything. This is his revenge con on Top. Mew is, after all, supposed to be "the smart one." Gotta say, this is darn near perfect casting. But honestly? This show could just be about Ray & Sand. Their story (and them in it) is easily the most riveting. Sand better be careful, the wildly broken ones are always the best in bed, because they don’t care ao they have no shame and that's HOT.

Hidden Agenda (Sun GMMTV YouTube) ep 6 of 10 - I like how soft Joke’s version of seme flirting is. It’s mellow, like his voice gets with Zo. I also liked Zo casually chatting to his friends about how he feels about being flirted with. His friends gave good advice & were supportive. Oh no! A boy in a BL went into the rain ALONE. What ON EARTH will happen next? The argument was interesting, because it gave us insight into Zo’s maturity & ability to handle a relationship. I’ve been wondering why anyone would like him, and now I know. Joke & Nita’s backstory is fun. I like the gay boy protecting the straight girl reverse beard action. On a complete aside, I really like Dunk’s makeup in this series. It’s very Kdrama.

Low Frequency (Sat iQIYI) ep 7 of 8 - The house ghosts trying to help are cute. The plot is at least... a plot? I don’t know. Dias Ex Mafia is a new one on me. (COME ON THAT’S A GREAT PUN, PRAISE ME!) I’m ready for this show to be over. 

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 7 of 12 - Honestly, the whole time I’m watching this I’m just thinking I wish JaFirst got better scripts. Speaking of, I don’t object, but these characters sure moved into sex fast. I really don’t quite understand how Daddy & Hot Doc got together so fast either. It feels like their story was meant to be spread out into the other episodes but didn’t get cut in properly, so it ended up all in this one? Or is it just the pacing is particularly bad in this show?

Dinosaur Love (Sun iQIYI) ep 8 of 10 eps - I have no idea what is going on. What are all of Dino’s friends doing? What do they want? what’s their point in the story? I’m even annoyed by Peak, and love him. Sex scene which they tried to make sexy. Operative word being tried. Although, there was some interesting after sex discussion about mechanics. And there was a cute bathtub chat about pet names. But this show is a lotta work for very little pay out. 

Wedding Plan (Wed YT & iQIYI) ep 5 of 7 - I like the sunshine sides? PUNCH LOM 2023! Trash watch here!

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 1 of 10 - Pushy older bro is Earn from Love Sick, yay! And he’s the hyung of a side couple, which is "best friend’s older brother" trope! My favorite!!!! Have we seen this in BL before? I don't think so. Anyway, DOUBLE YAY! The main couple… eh. You know I loathe stalker characters. And I viscerally HATE this one. Almost as bad as SCOY, not sure I can take it, actually. The squealing of "Tammy!" is worse on my ear than any off-key guitar strumming. I may have to DNF or fast forward through all his parts… but he’s the lead. What to do? I do like the “Chinese” businessman actor. He very cute. (On an aside, I was just reading about commercial real estate as the loophole for foreign property investors in Thailand. Cool plot point.) I’m getting a Taming of the Shrew vibes from this. Just me? For now it's living at the bottom of the list for sheer unadulterated loathing of Phumjai. Not the actor, he was my favorite and only good thing about Our Days. But this character? NO.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thur Viki) ep 5 of 8 - This is basically the gay Boys Over Flowers of my heart. Or as close as I think we’ll get from BL. I like both of the 2nd leads, even though I suspect Simon of actually being into everyone’s fav hyung. Cute to see the Mr Heart boys back on my screen, oh so briefly. Such a Taiwan trick, reusing a beloved couple like that. Nice gimmie to the fans. Meanwhile, Choi Jun - boy sure knows his angles but his motives? Please don’t let this be another arranged marriage beard situation? I can’t take 2 in the same month. 

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 8 of 10 - The boyfriends ep! JC is biggest simp spoiling his baby EVER. Taiwan = the sappiest of saps. “Owning the same key” is such a cute way of putting it. Also I love the "knew all along" twist, made me happy. The angst is silly but that's normal in Taiwanese BL. 

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 3-4 of 10 - Pair 1: Lee Hyun is such a wide-open, bleeding, no-shame romantic. It’s kinda great. Boy has a poet’s soul & NO artifice. J-Min is startlingly good, very nuanced. I know I keep saying that, but I’m v surprised by his skillz. And… add in creepy stalker, goody. Pair 2: The "other student couple" I’m not into, also NO SINGING. Pair 3: The underwear gift was so fucking funny. “I’m going reap the boxers I sewed” is next level script excellence. These two are brilliant at gayest-of-gay flirt-negging, I'm INTO IT. One of my housemates said, in response to my audible cackling, "You seem to be enjoying your shows extra much tonight."  

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 2 of 8 - Oh I love love love them. It’s so old school yaoi and SO JBL. No other country could produce this kind of show. I love this little feminist aspect where the weatherman treats his boy like a 1950s housewife & said boy thinks that makes him an indentured servant. Clocks. But also, the way our weatherman LOOKS at his boy. He is so in love. (It looks like we skip next week for holiday reasons?) 

Sing My Crush (Korea Wed iQIYI) eps 5-6 of 8 - It remains enjoyable. 

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) ep 6 of 12 - At least we know Minato actually desires Shin, he just won’t do anything about it. Also, Minato chose the perfect person to come out to. That's nice for him. Finally, Shu & Asuka are glorious. Sides are winning these days.

Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) ep 3 of 5 - A proper faen fatal has entered one of our couples. She won too, since she ended up marrying the boy. Still not sure about this show (and it should have convinced me by now). I definitely like the tattoo couple better than the reunion couple. Still, not a lot happened in this episode and this is short series, they don’t have time to waste. It remains intriguing but not... erm... good.

In case you missed it

River Knows Fish Heart is leaving Gaga soon. It's a decent little bully romance Chinese BL (pulp) - yes, you read that right. Actual CBL. Not great, but if you're into the CBL stuff, especially the early stuff, this has some of that tenor only made in 2018 (I have a feeling it was shot in 2017 and skated through). Anygay, just staying. Catch it before it disappears because with CBL once they gone, often, they gone forever.

Friend. Boy Friend a new Thai BL pulp was supposed to start airing on Aug 19th. I can't find it. Neither can MDL.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Everything from Thailand seems to be dropping on Sat & Sun this month. It's a good thing I got quiet weekends for a while. Also the BL firehose is upon us, so much content.

Starting this week:

8/20 (tomorrow) My Universe series (Sun iQIYI) 24 eps - This is sampler pack BL, 12 pairs, each pair gets 2 eps, not sure on the order they’ll drop. Known couples include EarthBank from Destiny Seeker and KaownahTurbo from Love Stage!!!, fresh faces otherwise. Jane to direct.

8/22 Kisseki: Dear to Me formerly known as Miracle (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) 13 eps - From screenwriter Lin Pei Yu (We Best Love, H3: Trapped) features a student doctor forced to take care of a gangster. I love the premise and like the writer.  

8/23 Why R U? (Korean remake iQIYI) 8 eps - I find everything about this hilarious. I mean if Korea remakes it, we lose all the sexy and then... would we have a story at all? No we would not. Not even for 8 short eps. It’d be like one of those mesh shopping bags.

8/24 Man Suang (Thailand movie, domestic cinema release) - historical drama about Thai burlesque with KP’s MileApo. 

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Another show reviewing itself. (Dino Love)

Don't insult bastards, Lom. (Wedding trash)

I would like this adorable romcom GMMTV, please and thank you.

See what I mean? Trixy.

Thanks boys. (All Only Friends)

(Last week) 

[neeterloveschenford]

Thoughts on Tim Bradford

I was thinking about some of the things we've seen about Tim over the years and boy, is it now making so much more sense. I know a lot of this has already been meta'd and have been very eloquently said. But I just needed to put my two cents in.

Let's start with what Isabelle said to Tim in 1x12. She never felt like she measured up to Tim because he saw things so black and white. Tim had no idea that she felt that way and never thought that about her. And I've always thought she was wrong and was just projecting her own sense of failure onto him. But now I'm re-thinking that stance. We know from 4x19 and 4x20 that Tim was involved in black ops when he was in Afghanistan. His whole "Reaper" persona is obviously from that time in his service. We know from so many things that have come out in the last couple of decades that those involved in those types of operations often blurred the lines of legal and moral. I think that once he returned stateside that his rigid moral code was part of how he dealt with his PTSD. He probably didn't even realize he was going that far. Think about it, he went from black ops to being "Eagle-eye", the cop that took every order literally and got his shop tagged while standing there. Someone who was involved in off book missions wouldn't naturally be that rigid. I think it was easy to fall back into that type of mindset because of his childhood. I'm sure he needed to have every duck in a row when he was younger to make sure he never did anything to set his dad off. But having seen and done some bad things in the midst of war, Tim had to default back to this to be able to integrate back into society. He's often scorned psychology over the years. So I imagine he dealt with the trauma of war on his own by becoming that black and white guy that Isabelle was talking about. It was only after Lucy entered his life and started challenging him to be a better man that he started to see those shades of grey that life is all about. Remember in 5x17 when he showed mercy to the Make a Dream kid's dad? Season 1 Tim would never. He even admitted that Lucy was a good influence. Chances are he would have mellowed over time, but I believe he still would have had a certain amount of rigidity. That's why he told Isabelle in 5x20 that Lucy was different. She showed him that he had to readjust his mindset to be a better man.

Another thing that struck me is how he is basically treating Lucy like his boot or aide right now. If it was Angela that knew something was up I could totally see it. He could possibly blow up her life and it wouldn't be worth it. She is his best friend, but not his life partner. I could even see it if this had happened circa 5x6 or 5x7 when Chenford was trying to find their way back to friendship. But things have changed. I know that "fierce protector" Tim will do anything to protect the people he loves. I mean he offered to take the fall for falsifying those after action reports so that his friend with a family wouldn't be affected. But Lucy is not a friend, not an old Army buddy or his boot or aide. She is the most important person in his life. The reason he has begun to heal from all of the trauma he has had to face. He can't hide this from her. I am hoping that he realizes that next episode. Cause as juicy as this angst is, I'm ready for it to be over.

One last thing, as hard as it is to watch them fighting, it's what Chenford needs. I think this is going to bring so much to the surface that they need to face. Now Lucy is getting a taste of what being the person left at home feels like when their partner is UC. I think Lucy is going to take Tim to task for the whole going behind her back with Grey thing. And they both are going to have to deal with their communication issues. I feel like they are only going to come out of this stronger.

[starlight-bread-blog]

I Watched The First Two Episodes of Hazbin Hotel

Overall I wasn't bored. It's a fun show from the little I've seen. I have thoughts and notes I'd like to give so here's how this is gonna go:

🔵 Is for things I liked/would like to be expanded upon in the show's future.

🔴 Is for things I disliked ranging from nitpicks and just general critisisms.

Whenever something about Angel Dust's trauma I will come up, I'll mark "————" at the beginning & ending so you can avoid the topic if you'd like.

So let's dive right in!<3

🔴 I am so confused. This is narrarated by Charlie. And her goal is to redeem sinners so they can enter Heaven to save their lives. But she also knows that Heaven doesn't kill sinners to stop over-population, it's just plain evil. So, what are we doing here again?

🔴 This is the first time her relationship with her father is mentioned in the show. And it's done though a joke made by Alastor in a commercial he made. (Also, how would he know about Charlie's "daddy issues"? This isn't common knowledge as far as I know).

————

🔴 WHAT THE FUCK? I'M SORRY. WHAT THE FUCK? I hate being this negative in the beginning but WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I don't want to discuss this line any more than the shock I felt while hearing it. Next.

————

🔴 Everyone already talked about how the camera work is crap and I agree. But here's an idea: If they wanted to make something grandiose, why not make a classic musical number that's completely unrealistic, and then make the reality of Hell clash with it?

🔴 This scene could be cut off mostly entirely. The point here is to show how awful Adam is, and the second the talking's over, we get a better song that does just that.

🔵 At first I was gonna make this a critisism, but all it did was making me ask questions, which is good in a first episode. This has me wondering about the characterization of Heaven and how it came to be. I can accept them being a shitty bureaucracy who only appear good, but this is some Saturday Morning Cartoon villian stuff. I'm very curious about this.

🔵 Niffty couldn't say her lines and just stared at the camera and was completely unaware of the fact that she did a shitty job. How come? I wonder what they'll do with it.

🔴 This is edited. The scene didn't go like this. We cut from the hotel to the Vees before we see Alastor's counter-attack. They cut to a really long section of the episode, in the middle of something that could be dealt with in a second. I wasn't as invested as I could have been in the introduction of the Vees, because I kept waiting to come back to Alastor.

🔵 I'd like to know why Charlie is so naive. Optimistic? Yeah, makes sense. But naive? Now that's interesting to know. She clearly goes outside and sees how sinners aren't the safest people (ie Happy Day in Hell), so you think that spending eternity with them would get her acquainted with the culture and make her adjust her behaviors. But she's still looking at the guy who just tried to kill her and goes "Oh, hello again". I'm dying to know why she's like that.

————

🔵 I see where this is going<3 Despite it all, Angel Dust clearly still loves acting. So when he'll escape Val, he'll show his theatrical side by improvising and acting for Charlie<3

🔵 Despite Angel Dust not adoring the hotel, it's very much a safe place for him. A safe the Vees, from Valentino. Now, someone who worked for them just a second before getting discovered, is in. Can't wait to see more of this.

————

🔵 I liked the rivalry of Alastor and Vox. I liked how Vox is this perfect big shot, yet crumbles about Alastor when he's barely trying. Definitely a highlight.

To Summarize...

🔴 6 negatives 🔵 6 positives

I enjoyed myself a fair bit. Most of the negatives are either nitpicks or won't matter in five eps. It had some flaws but it's a start.

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Could we get a Frankie Morales fluff or smut (whichever you're feeling, or both?) with

35. "Better than I ever imagined."

👀👀🥺🥺💚

Find You.

35. "Better than I ever imagined."

Author's Note - this is a drabble written as part of my 500 Followers Celebration!! find that post here if you're interested in sending a request!! i love writing for any pedro characters. those big brown eyes get me everytime :(

Pairing - Frankie Morales x Neighbour!Female Reader

Warnings - mild cursing. smooching <3

Word Count - 811

Masterlist. 500 Follower Celebration Masterlist.

Your episode of TV is interrupted by a knock at your front door.

"Sweetheart? It's me. It's Frankie."

Sighing with relief, you make your way to the door, opening it to be met with none other than your next door neighbour, Frankie Morales.

"Hey!" you greet, probably a little too chirpy. Your crush on this man is monumental, and you often find you have to remind yourself to play it cool around him.

"Hey, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"Ever the gentleman. No, you're not. Just watching TV. What do you need?"

It's not uncommon for you and Frankie to show up at each others doors unannounced. Sometimes, he'll come to borrow sugar, or you'll pop over to ask for help fixing your faucet. You make good neighbours, always helping one another out in whatever way you can.

"I have a weird request," he explains, stepping inside and shutting the door behind him.

"Hit me with it, Morales."

"Can I use your shower?"

Oh. Suddenly, your mind is flooded with images of Frankie, dripping wet, towel hanging low on his hips, hair messy...

"You with me, honey?" he asks, slight smirk on his lips.

"Yeah, sorry. Daydreaming," you recover. "Any reason you can't use your own?"

"Something's wrong with it. I've tried to fix it, but I think I made it worse. I've been at work all day, and the plumber can't come until tomorrow," he explains.

"Well, you know where the bathroom is. I'll get you a clean towel," you begin to walk towards your cupboard when a strong arm grabs your wrist and pulls you back.

"Thank you, so much. You're an angel, you know that right?" he winks at you, and you throw your head back in a laugh. The melody of it makes him smile.

He makes his way to your bathroom, you following shortly after with his towel. You retreat back to the living room, resuming your episode and trying not to think about the currently naked Frankie Morales in your apartment.

"Sweetheart?" he speaks from the doorway, startling you.

"Shit, Frankie! You move like a Prius!"

"Sorry," he laughs, clearly amused.

You look at him carefully. He's still dry.

"I'm totally interrupting something, aren't I?" he asks.

You raise your eyebrows in confusion. He continues.

"There's a pretty dress hanging up in the bathroom, and your makeup is all over the counter. Were you going out? Am I totally ruining your plans right now?"

Shit. You'd forgotten you'd hung your dress up to try and get the creases out, and totally forgot to put all your makeup away. You'd scrubbed your face with a makeup wipe haphazardly and made yourself cosy on the couch, paying no mind to the mess you'd left behind.

"No, no," you explain. "I was supposed to be going out, but the plans changed."

You're hoping he doesn't notice the slight wobble in your voice. He does.

"Hey, hey, are you okay?" he frets, coming to sit next to you. "Did something happen? You can talk to me."

"It's nothing. Seriously. It's stupid."

"It's not stupid if it's upset you."

He's looking at you so intently with those warm chocolate eyes, you're struggling not to burst into tears.

"I was meant to be going on a date. I was kind of excited, actually. But he cancelled last minute with some bullshit excuse."

"Oh, honey."

"It seems to happen to me a lot. Do I repel love, or something? Why can everyone find it but me?"

Frankie grabs your hands in his, warm palms calming you down.

"You're too good for men like that," he says firmly. "They don't deserve you."

You smile half-heartedly at him, and sit in the silence for a while, fingers still intertwined. Frankie's voice breaks through the quiet gently.

"Maybe you need to stop looking for love. Maybe it'll find you." Then, a bit quieter, "Maybe it already has."

Your eyes widen at his confession, searching his face for any traces of humour. Instead, you're met with Frankie looking at you carefully, no hints of amusement on his features. He's deadly serious.

"I'm so glad that idiot cancelled on you," he admits. "Because it means I get to do this."

He surges forward and captures your lips in a searing kiss. His hands move to cradle your face, and yours move to tangle in his chocolate curls.

The kiss is electric, alive with excitement. It's passionate and loving and heated and well worth the wait.

You pull away, gasping for air. He rests his forehead on yours, breathing each other in.

"Better than I ever imagined," he whispers against your lips.

"Yeah?" you smile.

"Yeah," he confirms, grinning from ear to ear.

Suddenly, Frankie stands up from the couch, pulling you by the hand. He's smirking, mischief rife in his eyes.

"Now, how about that shower?"

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Non BL Fan watches Only Friends - Part III (Part I) (Part II)

So Neely finished Only Friends. To say they didn't enjoy it would be a massive understatement. So much so, that I ended up feeling guilty for persuading them to watch it. Which is silly of course, as they kept reminding me, but I can't help it. If anyone manages to read all of this you'll understand. They did enjoy writing about it though, specially in a more casual tone than they're used to. They wrote as soon as they finished so it's kinda raw and personal because of their own personal feelings. i always check with them before I post to make sure they're okay with everything, and they were. There's a freedom about writing from a personal place when you don't know who's gonna read it, that even though this space is anonymous always gives me pause and stopped me from writing about this show. They didn't have such concerns.

Because this is the last one, it's the longest one, so just skip to the conclusion for a broader view on the show as a whole.

Neely's final thoughts on Only Friends

I think it’s worth to preface whatever is coming next here by saying I think I am in general, and specifically at the moment, for personal reasons, particularly sensitive to coupledom and the social pressures to belonging in one. This feels relevant to preface, because it has been the main thing that kept reverting back to me during my time watching the series. It felt almost like it was punishing me as I watched it. This was the thing that, despite not really connecting so deeply with any of the characters, made me shed a tear at the end of the last episode, as everyone celebrated their built Hostel, and the scorned-slut doesn’t even deserve a passing mention. Boston was erased, made completely invisible, he left no mark, he was the rock that fell in the centre of the lake and there were no ripples, because he refused to assimilate.

And, just like him, I didn’t belong either, no part of the moral and main journey of this story was for me. It made it very clear why, and how, they thought I deserved to be excluded. It wasn’t like the world was there but I didn’t quite find my place, wasn’t like I couldn’t connect but I was welcome to try to, it wasn’t awkward in that way; it was more like I was very purposefully being denied access to it. It wasn’t the awkwardness of being in a new place and not quite fitting in, it was a fairly explicit violence of “we do not want you here”. And I know Boston was a horrible character, the villain, there was pretty much nothing he did right over the course of this, and with that, he did deserve some sort of punishment, we could argue he did deserve to be fully left out. But I’m more concerned with who created and wrote him, who also created and wrote the other characters, and why this is where we end up, why it was decided that Boston was the one person that did not deserve to exist and repent in this Universe. He was incurable. The cruelty of the hostel they’ve built together, and the series itself, being called Only Friends, and ending with this really pointed exclusion - it floored me. He’s not a friend, because he’s a slut. It’s such a harsh, morally-superior ending; I felt stepped and spat on. But I have to say, it did not surprise me in the slightest, as this is the world they’ve carefully built throughout the 12 episodes. The cherry on top being that Jennie and her partner have been made part of the group. The slut is cleansed and a new couple enters. Could we be more obvious, writers? And this, not to get all political, is honestly one of the most unqueer messages a show could wrap itself in.

Boston: I will start here since I mentioned him, but I don’t really know what to say. But also just typing this first sentence, I know it’s gonna be the longest section. I think it’s careless, problematic, deeply biased, I wanna even say dangerous, to write a character in this way. To explicitly say: this is the one person in our world that deserves no redemption, that will have no opportunity to repent, that deserves no future.

It wasn’t enough that he went after Top from the start, when that story line was exhausted and culminated, what do we do with him? How could we make him get even worse? How can we punish him even further for his ways? - Oh, make him have sex with a friend’s younger brother.

Why was that storyline even there, aside from just hammering even more into the audience that slut=bad? Brother didn’t even matter beforehand, he was written fully into the show to come and tell us how bad Boston is. Yes, Brother lied, and we get a mild relief that we are not going to go with Boston as a criminal, but to follow fucking your friends Boyfriend with fucking your friends younger brother, consensually or not, is a bad bad move. And the show is telling us: bad bad slut, sluts are bad bad. And the show does this without ever giving us a context for why he is so careless, why he keeps fucking up - because that doesn’t matter in this world.

In this universe, in Boston’s case alone, past trauma or situations don’t matter, his biggest sin is being a slut (which as I said about the 4 past episodes, isn’t even a good word to describe him). Top get’s a more or less fleshed out fire trauma, Ray gets a consistent referring back to dead mother and complicated family; Boston we know is in the closet to his family, and is stressed about protecting his dad’s campaign, but never does the show try to use this to justify his behaviour like it does with the other characters traumas and backgrounds. For the show, it’s enough that Boston is a slut; for that fact alone, he deserves being written as culprit into almost every single horrible act contained in this series. After all of this, and after being completely shunned by his friend group and ending completely alone, he gets 20minutes of being shown to us as a person with feelings, with emotions, with struggles and remorse (BUT ONLY WITHIN A ROMANTIC PAIR, cause this is the sole context in this universe where one can truly exist); but not for long, don’t forget he is a slut - and what are sluts? BAD BAD - of course he will lie to Nick and literally hook up with someone (i refuse to acknowledge that ridiculous characters existence) DURING their date. I just found this disgusting, kinda revolting, and it’s genuinely been a while that I’ve felt so upset at a media portrayal. My hopes for media portrayals of queerness isn’t very high, but Boston - wow. It is heartbreaking to think that even queer creators think of us in this way. There were very faint moments I found endearing in the short stint of his relationship with Nick. Such as their conversation in the bench, after Boston cheats with Boeing (don’t get me started on this lazy-ass-writing-slutty-exboyfriend-deus-exmachina insert…….) it hinted ever so slightly at who Boston is - that he has opened himself to romance but potentially wants an open relationship; and I think Nick’s reaction wasn’t judgemental, but just well practiced boundaries, which the character needed. “it’s cool this is who you are, but this is not who I am”. We could’ve had that earlier, as part of a wider Boston redemption plot, but again.. slut=bad, no redemption possible. But they kinda closed their connection okay, I guess. With the friends, he is not even fully given a shot at apologizing. We get a really crushing goodbye scene where he is allowed in one last time, but where very clearly he is left out socially and emotionally. The single one in the group, whereas the others have found their final destination in coupledom. Their memories as friends don’t matter to shit, their whole lives together until that moment don’t matter to shit. Boston doesn’t belong anymore, he’s been deleted and made invisible already - and the reason he doesn’t isn’t due what he did: Top was given time and space to repent, Chueam has forgiven Boston for the brother situation, Ray has been absolved, even Sand has forgiven Top, everyone that has now paired-up deserves forgiving. But Boston, nope. Boston is not being judged and put aside based on his betrayals and mistakes. As it is reminded to us, by showing Boston messaging Nick, Boston doesn’t belong because he has refused to partner up. Everyone has moved-on, ascended, to their coupled-up states, and Boston, the selfish, egocentric, with no feelings or care for anyone, has refused to: so he has to go. Once again, romance is given all the avenues to repent itself, to reinvent itself, to flourish and last in the face of all mistakes; but friendship is disposable. A whole life of friendship that doesn’t even deserve an honest conversation in an attempt at forgiveness (Boston) VS a few weeks or months of dating that deserved all the space to repent itself (Top).

As I watched this scene, I just kept thinking how, had Boston accepted monogamy with Nick, this whole group dynamic would be different. They would’ve been laughing all together, Boston wouldn’t have been left out awkwardly checking his phone. I am almost sure even that Mew would’ve accepted Boston’s apology, and given him time to re-gain his trust. Because if tamed by a relationship with Nick, Boston could be trusted to not jump on Top. But single, and slutty, he is a danger to be controlled and never trusted. slut=bad, never forget. So, closing on Boston, I just really hope he is happy in NYC, and hope he has managed to escape the totalitarian puritan prison the writers have set this universe in.

Nick: shortly…I wasn’t a fan of him going back to Boston for that period, but I do think generally he had a good character growth. Probably the most meaningful character growth for me, due to ending up alone, and having set such good boundaries with Boston which was his biggest weakness. All the other character growths are very weirdly edged into promises to their loved ones, and they generally feel less honest and less long lasting to me, but Nick felt like he really grew and learned for himself. And I was happy for him. He deserved that. (side-note: what happened to the older boss he was boyfriends with for a moment? It was weird how he just disappeared. I’m happy they gave Nick time to be single and think about his needs and wants as a solo person. I really didn’t expect that from the show, I thought they would clump him into some happy half-arsed relationship with this boss. But this said, Nick did basically take two boyfriends at once, we weren’t given a scene in which he talks to the other guy, so I would like to know what happened, did Nick just ghost this guy after saying they’re together?) AND THE SHOW SHOULD’VE HAD SO MUCH MORE SCENES LIKE NICK AND SAND CAMPING!! Honestly these two were the only friendship shown on screen, they were so endearing, and every small moment we got of them interacting as friends was when the show felt genuine and loving. Of course the show had to interrupt this with the unexpected and unboundaried arrival of RayMANCE.

Sand & Ray: Listen I’ve gotta stan them because otherwise I will just hate everything. I think they are sweet together, they are the only chemistry I could genuinely feel, the way they communicate is amazing, and Sand is the cutest. They’re the couple goals for me in this series.

But I’m not happy with these last 4 episodes, or should I say 8. So much unnecessary back and fourth drama to then end us at a place where they were already close to being at the start of their relationship. Yea, Ray is aware of his drinking and trying to stop, because abracadabra magic of romance or whatever, but so what? I think it’s a disservice to Ray that Mew had to be the one breaking up with him; he deserved to have agency over his own healing from trauma, and his own moving on. And Mew deserved to be rejected, and not having everyone eating from his hand, for once in this series. Even if they had to have this weird awkward bad fling moment, I wish Ray had been the one telling Mew at the hospital that he picked Sand. Sand deserved to be picked, as much as Ray deserved to undo himself of his own insecurity that Mew was so tied into. It weakens the Sand Ray connection for me, that Mew kinda gave the first push to make Ray pick Sand.

But overall, I’m happy with Sandray’s reunion, and I think the ending gave us some good friend moments between Mew and Ray that I was glad to see too, I guess.

I also think Ray’s conclusion is a huge disservice to a story line about addiction, and again borderline dangerous. Tying sobriety and a rehab process to someone else, going sober for someone else, is literally 101 no no rules of AA and most recovery processes. And I know there’s like two lines in Sand and Ray’s convo about this, where Sand mentions he has to do it for himself, but that’s not what happens in any way. To wedge your well being on someone being with you, to put this weight on the relationship itself, and also put your health balanced on it back, it is incredibly precarious, unfair on the other person, and dangerous to you and others.

And it's more than studied that the chances of relapse when people attempt to stop addictions in this way, is much higher than when they are led to a path of loving themselves first, and sobering up for themselves first. So in my head, Ray didn’t repent, heal or grow; I thought he genuinely would with the therapy scene and everything but, I don’t trust it. He will go back to drinking as soon as him and Sand have an argument or disagreement; just like he did when “the-one-i-will-not-mention”, Sand AND Top’s ex, shows up. But again, this show shits on everything that isn’t a couple. This show never cared about Ray or his health or happiness, it cares about SandRay; just like it never cared individually about any other character, it cared about them WITH their "other-halves”.

Not much to say about Sand himself. I love him, he’s my show crush, and he did pull me through the worst moments, and there were many, as I watched this imho badly conceived mess of a show with a depressing message.

He is consistent, he is a good friend, a loving partner, he communicates well, he fucks up but owns up to it, he apologises, he cares. I was too done with the show antics to care about the whole Ray’s dad paying him or not paying him to force Ray into rehab, I thought that was stupid and unnecessary to add to their plot. So many better ways to explore their class dynamics, which they’d already kinda done to varying levels of success throughout the series.

And I feel similarly with Sand’s ex, that I shall not be mentioning. Just weird filler stories that took up screen time when we could’ve tied ends better, shown more general character growth overall, or idk, wild, but giving the designated shameful slut of this series, Boston, some more episode time to really repent and heal. I think there was a nice potential parallel in Sand and Ray’s differing relationships with their dads, that could’ve also been explored sweetly and used to grow their connection and maybe cause drama even, that I was interested in; but it wasn’t really pursued properly or given a closure. But, that’s all. They win, especially Sand, but in the context of this series that’s not something I’d be bragging about if I was them.

Top & Mew:

I feel like you’ll want me to talk about them and contrarily to this show I like my friends and wanna make an effort for you. But genuinely I couldn’t care less about them, which is also what complicated me watching the show as they were very clearly the main characters. I don’t know, they have no chemistry for me as a couple, I could never convince myself into believing they were together, or that they loved each other, or found each other desirable. I don’t think this is about the acting, but just the way they were written, and the specific troupe they represent which I find so common in gay media: the virgin, or the straight-edge, who melts the heart of, and drastically changes, the player.

I think everything about their storyline was textbook. I’m terrible with remembering names of things but so many times I’ve sat through this over and over again, in very very similar ways, and all of them have this air of judgement. I think, as I said before, the virgin insert, the pure insert, the straight-edge insert, is a plot point to allow judgement on queerness, and that’s the role that Mew takes, and consequently, Top too, once he gets assimilated enough to be accepted into being a couple.

Mew is just kinda there for the whole time, being pure and pristine, being naive, young, untouched, virgin, and things happen to him, at the hand of these horrible, vicious, drunk, sex-driven, cock-hungry gays. I felt so consistently like I was being told to go “oh no, poor Mew”; but I just wanted to go “fuck you you entitled little b—-“. There was for me a consistent taint of manipulation and coercion in his interactions with others, this weaponisation of holding, this overt playing the victim, that I just could not take. I think this is seen with Ray for most of their connection, with Top, and with how he gets revenge on Boston.

There is a small moment of acknowledgement with Ray when they decide to be just friends, at the hospital, but still… I guess there’s also a little hint that Mew fucked up when he plots with the one I won’t mention, the toy-airplane gifter, the ex of everyone and their dog, that appeared magically our of nowhere to create plots I did not need. But I don’t think this was enough. The whole thing read too much to me like we should see Mew as a victim, but I couldn’t do that; he annoyed me quite a bit most of the time, and I just kinda was counting down the minutes for him not to be on screen. I think Top didn’t really have a redemption arc, but I can see why in the context of the show it’s understood as that by all the other characters. I guess he showed his love or commitment to Mew alone and that’s all that matters apparently, but I think his main issues are more into his controlling tendencies in relationships, monogamous and committed or not, and none of that was addressed. He continues to be weird and jealous about Ray for lord knows why, he has this weird macho ew reaction to being kissed by Sand during Truth or Dare at the end that also just shows me he is a creep; he does this huge manipulation plot to get Mew to move in with him, by bringing it up several times when Mew wanted to think, and even re-planning the house and making sad pup face and voice when confronted with Mew saying he isn’t sure. And then he wants to be the sugar daddy, or own his coffee shop, insert himself into all aspects of Mew life, but always holding the power side. Their power dynamics are just problematic for me here, and I kept getting the kind of ick feeling about him, and the relationship. To me, Mew still feels more like a trophy to Top, something he wants to own, as this amulet that proves he is not a slut anymore, a player anymore; it doesn’t seem to me like a genuine connection, and definitely not a loving one.

Even the fire scene at the end, which I felt should’ve been this emotional tying together moment, this metaphor that now Top isn’t alone anymore, felt kind of weird and off to me, especially as Top then has to go check on the staff and Mew is left alone, there, waiting, like.. an object left on the shelf? Maybe I’m being harsh, and maybe I forgot core parts of their relationship and storyline because they really did just bore me, I felt nothing, and I zoomed out at times and only in their scenes because I found them bland and I couldn’t take the predictability of their fates.

Chueam: I’m mostly adding this section as a protest and a wish that I’d been given more to say about her. I stand by all I said in what I sent you about the last episodes. I think she plays the classic woman insert in a gay male series, the balance, the good friend and stable partnered, the moral compass, the mother figure of the group. She doesn’t have anything aside from her relationship to the men, or family, or partner we barely hear from. Even the last scene before the men go to watch the fireworks and the women stay at home, it feels so parent-kids coded: the way April and Chueam are at the door, waving their kids goodbye somehow. IDK. it had very strong semiotics of parents waving their kids bye to prom. I wish we had seen more of them, I wish something had happened for them that wasn’t related to the messy gays. She was fun, and attentive, she worked hard, she cared for family and friends consistently, and it seemed like she had a healthy relationship with kinda funny quarrels between them (like her not liking Aprils films is funny to explore no?!). I would’ve loved to be allowed to witness them more. I wanna know what she allowed herself to dream of. She deserved so much more. I’d trade out the unnecessary brother-fucking storyline for something about her. I’d trade out Sand getting offered money to take Ray to rehab for something more about her. I’d trade out Top and Mew still broken up but playing family with Mew’s mums for something more about her. (even tho I liked the older generation lesbian representation. A dinner party between Chueam and them??? I’d fund that spin-off.) I’d trade out the whole ex of the world, deus ex-machina, sudden drama insert for no reason, airplane model named character, every single appearance and storyline for something more about her. I’d honestly probably trade out both Top and Mew as a whole to a focused storyline on Chueam and April. Well… maybe Boston should’ve just never existed if he was gonna be trashed unfairly like he was from this Universe unrepented, and we could’ve just had more Chueam from the start.

(aaaand yes I wasn’t gonna talk about Boeing because I think adding him was just lazy writing and unnecessary and I basically ignored any kinda plot he created because it added nothing to the story in the end aside from being episode filler. I already don’t like when series bring a random ex without motivations just to cause drama, so I really eye-rolled at him being the ex of two character and not only causing drama on both sides, but also coming to stick the last knife on our already tortured scorn-slut lol. But oh well, I enjoyed having him shirtless on my screen though.)

Anyway, I finished and I am done: This show left me angry and terribly sad and feeling a bit like I was being hated on for absolutely no reason. I am not emotional about it aside from my couple of tears at the ending, cause I ultimately have more to do than care about this guy’s opinion on the world and of me I guess, but eye-roll.

In all honesty and without wanting to cancel anyone, I think this is a deeply irresponsible piece of media, queer nonetheless. It comes across queer phobic to me, this type of queer support that is waged on queers assimilating to how heteronormative society has lived and predominantly lives. It discriminates not about who you love or want to have sex with, but how you want to relate to people and how you want to claim agency over your sexuality and life. I just don’t understand why this is what you would choose to put out into the world, but i guess this was made to shock. And maybe that’s the start of the problem. Its the equivalent to the point of view where “it’s okay if you’re gay, as long as you’re seeking a husband” kind of rhetoric. The wide-plethora of queer identities and relationship styles are burned at the fire. And I’m not asking for the almost circus superficial tick-list of representational politics that western media is on the verge of becoming, and I’m really trying to hold on to some sensitivity that cultural context is very different. But I think what they’ve done is shitty and damaging beyond that. I am not saying I needed a liberated slut Boston on a 6 people polycule, or that I needed an open relationship or anything. You could have most people end up in couples and others end up alone but happy, in a way that didn’t need to include the absolute and nearly consecutive and relentless shaming of hook-ups, of any sort of personal desire that doesn’t include 1-1 romantic coupledom, the relentless punishing of every character that dreams a little different, and the consistent disregard and deprioritising of any connection and interaction that isn’t romantic. It’s just a bit lazy and shitty to me.

Chocomilk, the other BL you showed me a while ago, also was intensely focused on romance, as I guess BL is in general, but friendships were there, other non-romantic interactions were there without being judged or outshone. And I think this is true to most media right, the romantic love often takes centre stage. I really think and hope I’m taking this in consideration when complaining about this show - I don’t think its the only show to blame of course, but it felt more intense here, more pointed and much much more judgemental. Maybe because there really was such little care to every other relationship and interaction aside from romance, because every redemption (or lack of), every character improvement was ultimately based on the fact that they were now romantically involved with one significant other; but also of course, Boston’s ending and general storyline, which has been the most direct and relentless attack on a choice of living and relating to others sexually, that I’ve seen on TV in a long long time. This I have to say, I found really shamefully irresponsible. Ultimately I think the writing in this is lazy and shock based, I think they supported themselves on having famous actors and put them in situations that would shock and cause commotion to an audience that already knows and likes those people. It wasn’t about character building or journey cause we got little of that. From my perspective, and my little context, it was about putting famous BL faces doing things that aren’t usually very BL for the simple point of being shocking and different, rather than for good narrative and story purposes.

So we are left with a story that makes little sense, and to me just feels like a messy manifesto against sexual freedom.

The End

Well that's over. If you've made it to the end, thanks for reading.💜

I'll tag some people that left comments last time or reblogged. @doyou000me @summerfullofsnow @o-nao-lugar @lurkingshan @italianpersonwithashippersheart @mygwenchan however don't feel any obligation to read or comment

[xecutivecucumber]

Executive Cucumber's Thoughts on the Bad Batch Season 3, Episode 5, The Return!

(And I'm doing this instead of sleeping)

Spoilers after the break

Notes may not be in order

At first I was a little disappointed that we didn't start immediately after the end of the last episode, but I think I prefer it. We can have the reunion any way we want now. It's possible that the writers thought that they would all just awkwardly and quietly get on the Marauder and fly off and they knew we would be disappointed by that. So they left it to us to imagine what happened next. I think that's also why they didn't show Crosshair finding out about Tech. For them, Crosshair might just stay silent, or disassociate or something and we wouldn't be satisfied. But now we get to imagine all kinds of angst for when that happened.

Oh, the contrast between Omega waking up on Pabu and on Tantiss. SHE DESERVES THIS SO MUCH.

Aww AZ really loves Omega.

Okay, but how did Crosshair accept the fruit? Did he say thank you? I NEED TO SEE CROSSHAIR BE AWKWARD AROUND NORMAL PEOPLE.

I honestly think Crosshair wants to train Omega as his replacement if he can't get over his hands.

Wrecker and Hunter just blatantly watching them is amazing.

MOM'S HOME

Crosshair's sass is everything to me in this episode.

I honestly think that Echo is the only one who really talks about Tech out loud because he's the only one of them who has experienced loss before. He knows how to handle it. The others...do not.

STOP MAKING CROSSHAIR GO TO COLD PLACES, ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT COLD PLACE TRAUMATIZED HIM

'Little brother' oh my gosh they are my everything.

I expected Crosshair to love Omega, but he ADORES her and I am here for it. I'm also here for the fury for when she is inevitably captured again.

Hunter, you are a butt. I still love you.

HIS ARMOR. YES. YES. YES.

'It still fits' it might not have because he was so skinny and that is devastating.

Oh my gosh Hunter and Crosshair's arguing is everything I could have wanted.

'Kill each other later' Echo I love you.

I love that Batcher is just a member of the Batch now. Also, Hunter, get your senses in order the dog is doing your job.

THE HELMETS. AAAAAAAAAGH.

Hunter: sees Crosshair tenderly arranging helmets

Also Hunter: this is unreasonably suspicious

TOOTHPICKS YES

HIS TREMBLING HAAAANDS

Ugh I love Crosshair and Hunter's fight so much. Crosshair isn't just pushing Hunter's buttons, he's legitimately angry that Hunter let Omega get captured and go through what she did. And then there's the beautiful subtext of 'you let Tech die.'

Crosshair and Batcher are best duo.

THE SNOW IS SO GORGEOUS

CROSSHAIR SOUNDS SO MUCH LIKE TECH HE EVEN SAYS 'OMEGA' THE SAME WAY.

This is their get-along-worm.

Wrecker hugging Crosshair and Hunter may be one of my favorite things ever.

'There's no blood.' I am requesting all fic writers to provide me with a plethora of fics featuring Hunter and Crosshair fighting to bloodshed, ranging from angst to the stupidest argument ever.

CROSSHAIR YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON YOU OPENED UP.

Okay after Hunter said he did things he regretted too I'm now convinced that he has committed so many war crimes in trying to find Omega. Wrecker has nightmares about it.

I can't remember where, but Crosshair's theme was played in the major key!!! LET HIM BE HAPPY

Crosshair is such a joy to watch this episode. This is who he is and it really contrasts with chipped Crosshair.

I miss Tech so much. I want to see him in this dynamic. I also want to see Crosshair and Phee's dynamic.

I mean this in the most complimentary way possible: this episode felt like a fanfiction. The focus on their interactions and emotions feels like something we'd get from a fic rather than Canon. And I love every moment of it.

I adore seasons 1 and 2, but there were definitely episodes I preferred over another. This season has been 10/10 for me so far. And once more I have to wait a FREAKING week for more.

[ninchen1909]

Jealousy I

 Hey,

this ist he first time I’m wirting for Erling Haaland or any football player, so here goes nothing. Also English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for possible mistakes.

Have a great day!

 Pairing: Erling Haaland x reader

Warnings: Cursing, accused cheating

Word Count: ~1.400

  Angrily, you slam the front door behind you and look at your boyfriend's broadly built back in front of you.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"What do you mean? I don't have a problem."

Nonchalantly, he shrugs before making his way to the kitchen, leaving you standing in the hallway. Stunned, you throw your hands in the air before following him with quick steps. The evening actually started out quite nicely, you were out to dinner with Erling and a few of his former teammates from Borussia Dortmund, all of you were having a good time, laughing, talking, joking. Just spending quality time with people close to you. But the further the evening progressed, the more dismissive Erling became and on the drive home he literally nipped every attempt of yours to start a conversation in the bud.

To each of your questions, he only answers with a curt "I don’t know.”

Every time you try to touch him, he moves his body further away from you and dedicates his attention to someone else.

  When you arrive in the kitchen, you watch as your giant of a boyfriend grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and lets the door slam shut loudly shortly after.

"Oh so you don't have a problem! Then why aren't you talking to me? I mean you're not even really looking at me."

"I am talking to you"

Erling takes a big gulp from his water bottle while looking at you demonstratively. An annoyed sigh escapes you.

"Yes passive-aggressive."

He just rolls his eyes at you comment.

"Just leave it alone, (y/n).

With these words he pushes past you, a few seconds later you can already hear the voices from the television. Anger and despair rise in you, as you take in his behavior.  Again and again you go over the events of the evening, hoping to find anything that could explain the way he’s acting now, but you can't think of anything that could be the trigger for his sudden change of heart. Angrily, you enter the living room and build yourself up in front of the TV screen, trying to get your his attention at all.

The latter lies on the couch and watches you with raised eyebrows.

"Erling, tell me what the hell is going on now. What did I do to make you so dismissive of me now?"

Your arms cross in front of your chest and you look at your lover with a pleading look. You really didn't think the evening would end like this. Erling straightens up on the sofa and gets himself into a sitting position.

"(y/n)...for the last time it's nothing."

"Are all Norwegians this stubborn or are you the exception? Tell me what the hell is going on now, because there is something going on, that’s for sure. But I can't change anything if I don't know why you're in such a mood..."

Slowly but surely, anger leaves you and despair takes over. You just want to put the argument behind you and then snuggle up on the sofa with your usually gentle and accommodating boyfriend, while watching an episode of your new favourite show. With slow steps you walk up to him and taking a sit next to his massive form.  You reach over to him, only to connect your hand with his, tenderly letting your thumb slide across the back of his hand.

"So please be honest with me, we need to talk about it and not just keep silent."

For a few seconds, he just looks you in the face, his otherwise warm blue eyes, now look at you with a harshness and coldness that you have never seen before in them.

"It's really sad that I really have to tell you the reason."

With a jerk, he withdraws his hand from you and puts as much distance as possible between you. He must have read the aberration about his words in your face, for a contemptuous snort leaves your lips.

"Oh come on (y/n), don't act stupid now. You know, other women at least have the decency not to flirt with other guys in front of their boyfriend, but you don't seem to care. But it seemed like Jude enjoyed it too..."

Stunned, you interrupt him.

"I have what now?"

"Oh come on, everyone saw you and Jude flirting with each other."

"Ok, now you seem to be completely crazy Haaland. I talked to Jude because I happen to think he's really nice and funny. I certainly didn't flirt with him, why should I flirt with other men at all, I have you?!"

Apparently uninterested, he shrugs his shoulders.

"Maybe one man isn't enough for you, I don’t know."

His words hit you hard and the tears you've been trying to hold back all this time start to make their way down your cheeks. Whether out of anger at him or out of sadness because of his accusation, you can't really tell yourself. As calmly as you can, you get up from the coach before looking him dead  in the eye. When he notices your tears, the tenderness you usually know from him returns in his eyes, but you don’t care about that in the moment. The pain over his words is far too deep.

"You're an asshole Haaland, do you know that? When in our entire relationship have I ever made you feel like you couldn't trust me, huh? All the time..."

You notice how he wants to say something, but you prevent him from doing so.

"Let me fucking speak first."

Suddenly, he closes his mouth and sinks back a little further into the sofa cushions, you acknowledge that he now regrets his words. But you can't tolerate him thinking about you like that, at that moment you just can't and won't give in.

"All the time when you're away, whether it's because of  Champions League, away games or training camps. I was always at home waiting for you. I supported you at every game, whether in the stadium or at home in front of the TV. I left my life at home just so I could move to England with you. And now you're sitting here accusing me of having an affair with one of your best friends just because I get along well with him? You are truly incredible."

"(y/n).. Baby.. I’m sor..."

"Don't say you're sorry, the accusation against me really hurts and I really don't want to hear an apology from you right now."

The air in the room is oppressive and you have the feeling that you can't get enough air for a short moment.

"I need some fresh air..."

You quickly grab your shoes and jacket to put them on, heavy footsteps approach the hallway you are in.

"Babe please stay here, it's already dark, if you need distance I understand that, I'll go, but please stay in the house."

You shake your head abruptly.

"No, I need some fresh air, it's all too much for me right now, I have my phone with me. I love you, but right now I need some distance."

No matter how angry you are with him at the moment, at the very beginning of your relationship, you have made the agreement that you will never leave the house without these words, simply because you never know when you would hear it last.

"Darling, please..."

A sharp look from your side makes him fall silent instantly, he knows it's better not to interrupt you in your current mood. Which is why he admits defeat with a slight nod. You open the front door and let the cold air enter the entrance area of your house.

"Please stay close to the house and leave your cell on, please."

A quick nod is your only answer and just as you close the door you hear a soft, sad

"I love you, please be…" from Erling, but the last part of his words is already drowned out by the slamming door.

Lost in thought, you stroll along the well-lit sidewalks around your house. Again and again, the headlights of the passing cars dazzle you, which is why you stubbornly keep your gaze directed towards the ground. You stop in front of a zebra crossing and wait for the traffic light to symbolize that you can cross the street. 

After what feels like an eternity, you can cross the road, with a deep sigh you start to walk again. You are about halfway across the road, as the loud sound of a roaring engine enters your ears. Frightened, you raise your head to see, what the noise is all about, only to see two bright headlights moving towards you at you in a fast speed. Shortly thereafter, everything around you turns black and a soundless silence embraces you.

[elliespuns]

I got to thinking about the debate about Bella being too young looking to play Part 2 Ellie - and watching some of the episodes vs some of their appearances on the red carpet - there was definitely make up used to make them look younger in season 1. Bella’s features are actually more mature than Ellie’s - their cheekbones are sharper, more defined, and Ellie seems softer, younger (like she hasn’t matured yet).

Much like they used make up to age Pedro, why do you think we’re not talking about the possibility of make up for Bella to make them look older/younger. (Just to clarify, I hate all the negative comments about Bella’s Ellie - I think they did great with the show version of Ellie, and will do great in season 2!)

I am sure they'll do their best with the make-up to match Ellie's age in the show. What is funny (and sweet at the same time) is that Bella is short and won't be growing up as much as Ellie was in the game. It will be adorable to see 19-year-old show Ellie still the same height as 14-year-old. I kind of like it; it's cute, but it's definitely something they can't adjust.

I loved to see Ellie grow up and get higher with each passing year. It was so refreshing that the creators paid so much attention to the little details. I've always loved this poster, where you can see her height changing year by year. So freaking adorable.

But when it comes to Bella, I am sure they are gonna nail it. The height is going to be a cute cherry on top for me, though, because as someone who doesn't mind this (like, naturally, there's nothing anyone can do about it), I am going to enjoy watching short, but adult Ellie. I am trying to imagine her standing next to Dina, who's also short in the show. They both are the same height (5'1 - 1.56m). I guess they may have chosen Dina's actress on purpose, so people would not notice the height difference. 

Anyway, I think that no matter how old show Ellie is, Bella's face is okay as it is. Unless we think about her at the end of the game, where you can see she has aged a lot. I think they will put some makeup on her young face to make it look more 'worn out'. Ellie's face in the game looks a lot older than it probably should be at 22, but it's all the grief and sorrow taking a toll on her. Poor thing.

Funny fact: I am the exact same height as Bella Ramsey, and I am 30, exactly the same height!