#like i can exhale

[corneater3000]

so humbled and honored to walk through this threshold into a deathworker and to deepen and expand my carework.

making the most difficult moments in life a little easier. being there for people. studying their wisdom. doing the hard work. the scary work. the painful work. bearing witness, holding space. this is sacred work. this is holy work. there is much to be done in this world. there is so much to learn in the process.

the greatest mystery as the greatest teacher. this body, this mind, this heart a forever student. i am so small and humbled in the midst of all of this. i don’t know who i will be on the other side of this apprenticeship. i don’t know who i will be years down the line having sat at the feet of death so very many times in gratitude. in grief.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

thinkin' about Bardaby and his illusion smoke...

[caeslxys]

I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)

As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)

He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.

(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)

It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.

(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)

[royalarchivist]

Fit: Pac– this isn't you, you're just– I know you're all happy and stuff, and this medicine is making you feel good, but it's not reality. It's not reality.

Pac: [Shouting] And what is reality, Fit?! What is reality?! The reality that we have is like, just wait until the Eggs show up, or just wait for something to happen! I'm cool with my medicine, you know? I'm cool with Cucurucho helping me! It's making me feel way more better! So that's the reality for me, you know. Reality is the thing that you accept, so I'm accepting this as my reality. [He sighs, then says in a quieter voice] Sorry, Fit. Sorry, I just– sorry. I didn't mean to scream at you, sorry.

Fit: No, listen Pac– you need help. I know you– do you even remember why you took this medicine in the first place?

Pac: [In a quiet voice] 'Cuz I didn't have any other choice, you know. I was hopeless. It was my only choice, to use the medicine. That's all. [In a quieter voice, starting to mumble] That's why I'm gonna- I'm gonna still- gonna use it.

Fit: Look Pac–

Pac: –until I forget what happened, and that's it! That's what I'm going to do.

Fit: I know you're still in there somewhere, Pac. I know you still remember everything. I need you to remember.

Pac: [Mumbled] ...I will remember– I won't– I don't want to, I don't want to. I just want to- to build my home alone, ok Fit? I'm- I'm sorry.

[piningpercussionist]

Neil! (+ Lainey bc I Think She's Neat)

I'm gonna be inserting Lainey back into things because I feel she was a missed opportunity, honestly; not certain which design I want to go with, though- or if I wanna Frankenstein a Lainey together from the three. Input appreciated!

[trancegnder]

new ocs. guess who they're based off of & get shoved in a locker

[zetterbabe]

on the bench (10.18.23)

[shalpilot]

tanking and healing in bardam's makes me feel like i could be shattered into ten billion pieces by a slight breeze why are the first few pulls THAT beefy. i grinded it for a glam piece i ended up not using and it literally never got easier so i know i am not the problem here 🫵

[fisheito]

-i should really get started on that intimacy room top 10 -let's see what we have so far -wait let me unlock midnight pursuit blade -wait let me unlock frosted virtue oli -wait let me unlock infernal trea-

[solradguy]

I taught myself how to growl and it's really easy to do and now I do it all the time without meaning to. It's funny but it sucks but it's great. What's funnier though is when I do it (usually without realizing) and then someone tries to imitate it but they've never growled from their throat before so it always sounds super ridiculous and makes us both laugh

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Ok since you said that Fantasy! Barnaby's tobacco smoke will change color depending on his mood, so like what colors mean witch emotion? Im very curious

oh, very general emotions, it's not very Specific i'd think. cool colors correlate with cool emotions - like a frosty blue would mean he's feeling frigid, yk yk

[fearandhatred]

my friend and i were discussing That One Aziraphale Gif and how aziraphale is somehow not human, not gay in the sense of the word, and naturally sexless, but he's also simultaneously the horniest bastard on television

[cliveguy]

tried to use the tv tropes snippets to triangulate the identity of redacted but my investigative skills were lacking… i must be patient

my blog is literally just performance art of this tumblr post rn

[dutybcrne]

HSR verse Kaeya ideas:

Path of Nihility, Element Ice

Fell in stride with that path due to his depression after his conflict with Diluc and belief his fate due to his family's ties to the Abyss Order may be to bring his new homeworld's doom ( in part because of his Father's final words to him ), maintained in growing to find amusement in the impossible and working towards it regardless of the fact

Has every intention to try and defy his so-called fate even still, even knowing all that effort may be for naught in the end. But at least he would like to say he tried

Tends to help people on a whim, without desiring credit for his actions or if it may help them in the long run

His abilities sap the vitality of his enemies, but consume his own when he uses his strongest ability

Due to his family's contract with the Abyss Order, his lifespan is longer than most humanoids, spanning centuries. Though not quite that of a Xianzhou native, like them, his people do still face a terrible curse to become monsters after a time, like many of the Abyss Order.

He is glad his loved ones will never live to see him succumb to it. One way or another.

Though he also secretly harbors the strongest desire to force the Abyss's immortality on them to ensure they can stay with him, and face the same fate. He has to wonder if the slumbering monster in him is to blame for that, or his own attachments

[purbiworl]

Problems with my jaw shouldn't be allowed to affect my hearing, that should be illegal

[syn4k]

yeah no i don't have the time to write a fix-it fic for that. Whatever. It's whatever. We all knew that Joel wasn't taking his lore seriously this series. He literally joked about it from the start. It's fine. That was a perfectly satisfying and normal conclusion to him having an ENTIRE ASS CHILD that he cared for and literally knew that the entire fandom would defend with its lives. I am capable of being normal about media, <- in the "anger" stage of the five stages of grief