#and thankful that that’s something i really desire

[mariasont]

Hii! I saw this gif earlier today and I literally had a brain wave of an idea for fan fic!

Based off this gif below. S2!reid x reader. Reader has called off sick for a few days now and Spencer has been “looking after them” (ifyky) and one of bau members actually comes to help them with their “sickness” and sees Spencer leave like the gif below and he is like “hey.. wow” awkward! (Can be light smug or implied, up to you!!)

Looking After You - S.R

a/n: um i loved writing this one tehe, ur mind is amazing and i thank you for trusting me to make it come to life

masterlist

pairings: spencer reid x fem!reader

warnings: 18+ MDNI, smutsy, spencer giving head (i just know that man gives the best head i really can't think about it for long), reader is sick (kind of), morgan and garcia being nosy per usual

wc: 1k

His mouth was on you, head between your thighs as you pulled at his hair, whining his name between moans. He was a genius, yes of course in the literal sense, but you meant in bed. He was perfect and he ate you out like he was a man starving and this was his first meal in weeks.

You had been down with a cold for the past couple of days, finally seeing the end of the tunnel after some help from Spencer. You had been surprised when he showed up at your door with a plethora of home remedies and even more surprised when one of those remendies included his mouth being glued to your cunt.

Each breath you took, you could feel yourself getting closer—an electric tingle spreading from your toes to your fingers, the tight coiling of desire in your belly. That elusive peak was tantilizingly close, deliciously aching, but just out of reach.

Fate apparently had a twisted sense of humor and decided it would stay out of reach.

The knock on the door was like a cold splash of water causing you to jolt up, but Spencer's large palms clasped around your thighs as if to say, I'm not done with you yet.

The sharp intake of breath was involuntary, a reflex as you sunk back into the mattress. Whoever was at the door would get the message eventually. Right now, you were writhing against the sheets with hands forming fists in the curls of Spencer's hair, and that was all that mattered.

"Oh—yes, Spence, please." You weren't certain you were making sense.

He hummed against your clit, sending full body shockwaves through you as you finally released, like a taut rubber band finally being snapped. You were panting, mumbling something incoherent as your hands sought out Spencer's.

Another knock, more aggressive this time. You struggled to sit up, your mind still hazy, but Spencer's gentle touch coaxed you back down.

"I'll get it," he said, fingers tracing constellations from freckle to freckle on your ankle. "Do what you do best, sit and look pretty."

You laughed weakly, pressing your lips against his before you watched him disappear from the room.

Spencer moved to answer the door, his hand barely grazing over the handle before turning it, but as it swung open, the color drained from his cheeks, eyes widening at the people in front of him.

Garcia and Morgan.

He was suddenly aware of how he looked—hair strewn in every direction, glasses resting lopsidedly on his nose, mouth no doubt still covered in you. That thought prompted him to bring his sleeve up to his face, wiping the remnants away as he simultaneously ran a hand through his hair.

But it was too little too late, they had damning evidence against him now. His first instinct was to slam the door shut, but he hesitated, certain it would worsen the situation. So he remained still, opening and closing his mouth wordlessly, his eyes flickering to the soup and tissues they presented.

"Are we at the wrong apartment?" Penelope whispered, not-so-discreetly, to Morgan.

"Nope, this is definitely the right apartment." Morgan said, smirking as he clasped Spencer on the shoulder. "You've been taking care of her, huh, Reid?"

"Time out!" Penelope squealed, her hands jumping up, almost dropping the soup in the process. "You and—, and you guys are? You're lying. Oh my stars, wait, what were you two doing? Why do you look like you've been... oh, don't tell me!"

Spencer could feel the pink suffusing his face, fingers pinching his brow as he started to shut the door. He should know better than to check the peep hole before opening the door.

Morgan's hand stuck out, preventing the door from shutting any further.

"Hold your horses, pretty boy," Morgan teased, nudging Spencer aside without waiting for an invitation. His eyes darted around your living room as if he would find you. "At least let us do what we came here to do."

Penelope started to set her stuff on the coffee table, her face displaying her thrilled emotions like an open book.

"I can't wait for JJ to know about this, she's going to freak," Garcia says, clasping on to Morgan's arm.

Morgan laughed, patting her hand as he shook his head. "No one is going to tell anyone. Your secret is safe with us, pretty boy. We're a vault, aren't we, baby girl?"

"Yeah, okay, fine," Penelope started, lips pursing as she peered into the kitchen. "But just so we're clear, this is going to be like swallowing a live grenade of gossip.

Now it was Spencer's turn to laugh, head shaking as he pushed his glasses to the top of his nose.

"Thanks, guys. I'm sure she's going to appreciate this."

He nodded towards the items, disregarding their comments as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, walking them both to the door and hoping to the gods you would stay put.

"Alright, we'll let you get back to... whatever this is," Morgan conceded, hands shooting up in defense as he stepped out the door. "But hey, you make her cry, and I'll be using those spaghetti limbs of yours to mop the floor."

"Morgan!" Penelope said, slapping him on the shoulder.

"Unnecessary, but understood," Spencer said, waving towards the exit. "Now, if you wouldn't mind..."

He could feel the migraine coming on.

"Oh my god."

They were both looking behind him, he followed their gaze, seeing you standing there just outside the bedroom door, wearing his boxers and one of his Star Trek shirts.

He slammed the door shut.

taglist: @hotchhner @khxna @readergf @sarcasm-and-stiles @edencherries @aurorsworld @princess76179 @malindacath @freyy253 @broadwaytraaaaash @r-3dlips

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[monstersflashlight]

Commission for @vgilantee

A/N: Thank you so much for your commission! This was so fun to write, I hope you enjoy it! <3

Request: may i please get a big big werewolf and fem!reader fucking big nasty style 🫣🤭 feral, animalistic, and nasty. maybe after some predator/prey rp in the woods, but honestly free reign. go crazy ^^

“Don’t run”

Werewolf x fem!reader || size kink, predator/prey, chasing, biting, knotting, lowkey breeding

You had been living with your werewolf boyfriend for a couple weeks when the first full moon arrives. In the two years you’ve been together, he always made plans with his pack during the full moon, of that’s what he told you. Apparently he didn’t trust himself around you, so he barricaded himself in his basement and waited it out. He built a werewolf-proof cage and tied himself with some big metal chains to keep himself on check.

You are sure it wouldn’t be that bad, there’s no way he would hurt you, even with the full moon. Or maybe you were wrong.

Now, when he insists on you tying him up and leaving some of your clothes with him, you comply. He says your scent calms his beast, and that way it would be harder for him to escape. You two are so sure everything would be okay that you don’t double check the restrains. First mistake of the night.

You are lazily lying around upstairs when you hear the first crack. It sounds like thunder, but the night outside is clear, not a single cloud in the sky. You get down to the first floor and look around, nothing seems out of place, maybe some animal outside broke some tree or something. You don’t question it too deeply. Second mistake of the night.

When you heard another crack, this time a lot louder, you decide to go inspect the basement. You to the door at the same time as he does.

The door is on the floor, completely broken, and his face is the one of a predator. Adrenaline and fear fuel your body as you move slowly to the door, feeling like the prey you just became. You two were so sure everything was going to be alright that you didn’t talk what to do if this happened. You are on your own, and he’s a full transformed werewolf looking at you like you are his next meal.Oh fuck.

“Don’t run,” he says, his voice too gravely, too deep, more monster than human. You breathe hard, looking between the door and him. He growls, a warning. But you were never the one to take good choices.

You know it’s not a good idea. You know it’s probably the worst idea ever, but you are scared and your heart is beating too fast and too loud for you to listen to whatever your brain is saying. You shouldn’t run, but your fear is louder than reason. You look at him, completely transformed, and turn on your heels, bolting for the forest.

You know you aren’t supposed to run away from a predator, but you do it either way. Probably the third mistake of the night and the one that condemns you.

You hear his howl behind you as you start to run, your body forcing itself to exhaustion really fast. But you don’t stop, you keep pushing yourself faster, trying to look for a place to hide. You can’t find any, but you are plenty aware that it wouldn’t matter. Once he catches you, he will be completely mad, feral. He will be too animalistic to understand who you are.

You ran and ran, your breathing fast and labored, taking too much of your already low energy. You don’t know what to do, where to go, you are lost in the forest and there’s a predator on your heels.

You can hear him behind you, following you, but not catching you just yet. He’s playing with you, he could catch you easily, you aren’t that fast or see that well in the dark. But he doesn’t want the fun to end, he’s enjoying the smell of your fear, the taste of your desire under it. He’s toying with you. He’s toying with his prey. And that makes your adrenaline to spike and your pussy to tingle.

Maybe you are a bit fucked up in the head, maybe you are enjoying it more than you should. You never knew you liked it a bit rough until you knew him, it shouldn’t be a surprise that you love him chasing you. You feel like red riding hood and he’s the wolf out to catch you… And that excites you.

You keep running as your pussy gets wetter. The noises and howls he makes behind you adding to the fire burning inside of you until you feel you were going to melt completely.

And then there’s silence…

Nothing around you, not a single sound apart from your breathing and rabbit-fast heart. And then you see a shadow in the corner of your eye. He throws you to the ground, face down, and covers your body with his. He’s so big and so heavy your breath escapes your lungs. You scream as he bites down on the side of your neck, right over your mating bond. He holds you down with his teeth as you struggle under him, unable to move more than a few millimeters.

He growls in warning and starts tearing your clothes. The air is cold against your heated skin, and his claws feel too sharp, but you can’t ignore the edge of pleasure as he touches your body. He doesn’t wait long, he licks at the new mark on your neck as he touches your soaking wet pussy, humming in contentment. He pinches your clit between his claws and you moan loudly, embarrassed that you make that unholy sound.

He pushes your head down with his other paw as you feel the tip of his dick against your pussy. He’s there for just a second before he’s all the way inside of you. He doesn't let you breathe, he fucks you like a piston, his dick caressing every part inside of you, so big he’s hitting your cervix as you scream with every thrust. The edge of pain is adding to your pleasure to the point of insanity.

You are drooling on the forest floor as a beast growls and fucks you raw. You don’t know how much of your boyfriend is aware of what it’s happening, of what he’s doing… He’s just a big monster and you are a hot hole to fill. In and out, in and out, the pace so fast and so savage that your body moves with his thrusts, your hands and knees getting scratched against the dirt. And you love it.

It feels depraved to be feeling so good being treated so roughly. But deep down you know your boyfriend is somewhere inside of the beast, there’s a part of him behind you. And a big part of him hitting your G-spot with every thrust. You reach down and touch your clit, rubbing frantically as he keeps fucking you. Your face is against the floor and your tongue tastes like grass, but the delicious friction of your fingers against your pussy make you see stars.

You feel your orgasm approaching as some of your juices gush around his dick. He stills for a second and then you feel the big engorgement at the base of his dick pushing against your stretched hole. You cry out as he pushed it in, zero caress, zero worries for your well-being, only the need to be inside of you. To breed you. And you are loving every single second of his feral side ravaging you.

His knot finally slips inside, stretching you so wide that it brings tears to your eyes as you orgasm once again. He doesn’t care what is happening with you, he keeps grinding his knot against your G-spot, milking his own pleasure and accidentally making yours ascend to the next plane. You orgasm again as he howls to the moon and fills you with rope after rope of warm come.

You feel every little twitch of his dick inside you as he keeps coming, and coming, and coming. And you keep gushing around him, completely spent. Your eyes are heavy and your body is limp, at his mercy. The last thought you have before you pass out is how dying like that would be a good way to go.

You wake up on a comfy bed with your werewolf boyfriend next to you. He’s back to human form, and your body feels like a big bruise. You wince when you try to face him and he grunts. “I told you not to run,” he tells you, worry written all over his face.

“I know…” You whisper, looking at him intensely. The images and pleasure from last night come back to you in waves, making you dizzy as you tell him: “I would do it again.” He smirks at you and kisses you until you forget all about the soreness of your body.

Remember that you can also commission me, info here

[merbear25]

Zoro, Ace, and Shanks failing the pull-out game?😭 like they accidentally cum inside of you

Hello, hello! Oh boy, oh boy this is quite the scenario to consider. Thank you for giving me something to think about late at night. I hope you like what I’ve written for you. 💜💜

p.s. This is the first thing I’ve ever written for Shanks, so I hope it suits him.

CW: NSFW, MDNI, creampie, fem!reader in mind but nothing specific mentioned, headcanons/scenarios

When their pull-out game is weak (Zoro, Ace, Shanks)

Zoro

He was always careful and on point when it came to his timing, but the way you were writhing under him on top of those whimpers and moans brought his orgasm on more quickly than anticipated.

There was an attempt at focusing his thoughts on something else, though it was all in vain when he gazed down at your arched form and was graced with the pleasure soaked mewls dripping from your quivering lips. A sharp inhale coupled with a “Fuck!” snapped you out of the moment. With his face burning red, he pulled out and averted his gaze.

You took a moment to come to before consoling him, “Don’t worry about it. These things happen.” You placed soft pecks down his sun kissed chest while reveling in the way his chest rose and fell.

With each kiss, you further fanned the flames deep within him which was made apparent by the slight twitching of his cock. “You know, you never got to finish properly,” his voice was already heavy with newfound desire.

Smirking at him, you revealed the still trickling cum between your legs. “Are you going to double stuff me this time?” You teased before he roughly pulled you closer for round two.

Ace

One of the things both of you enjoyed most about your relationship was the spontaneity: finding little corners and rooms to bang a quicky out or having a disagreement turn into a lengthy, steamy session.

Typically you used condoms to avoid any accidental slip-ups, but this time around you were unprepared and desperate for each other. Hoisting you up on the counter in the bathroom, his kiss was searing. As he roughly tugged your underwear off and bit gently at your lower lip, you were begging for him to put it in.

After just the first few thrusts, you were unraveling on him—a complete and utter mess from the sensation of him pounding into you.

He tended to be pretty good at pacing himself, ensuring you had got your fill well before he followed suit, but the way your body tightened around him was testing his self-restraint. When he started pulling back to collect himself, your legs wrapped around him, which forced him deeper.

Your desperation for him, your nails raking down his back, and the way you squeezed him for everything he was worth: it was all too much for him. With one last buck of his hips and a guttural moan, he spilled every last drop of cum inside you. He murmured an apology against your neck before pulling out to witness the mess you two made.

Shanks

You both enjoyed taking your time when it came to the bedroom. Having that sensual build-up leading to the main event made everything feel that much more intense. With light touches and deep kisses, it was easy to get carried away every now and then.

He wasn’t really the best at timing—typically waiting until the last second to pull out. However, it didn’t bother you all that much because he still managed to shoot his load outside of you, preferably on your stomach or ass.

The real challenge for him was when you were on top. The hypnotic way you bounced up and down on him, the sensual groping of your own body, and those moans that trailed past your sweet lips: they were a recipe for disaster.

You really knew how to put on a show for him, putting every fiber of his being to the test with your tempting display. With his breaths becoming labored and his grip on your hip tightening, you could tell he was close, but you were still waiting for him to tell you when it was too much.

As you picked up the pace to focus on your own release, as well, you heard him groan, “Oh, shit!” before tossing you to the side. He gripped his cock to finish off his climax but had already leaked a fair amount into you first. He apologized and you both realized you may be better off sticking to condoms.

[dummy-daisy]

It was a day just like any other. I spend the morning getting fucked by two of my roommates until they had fully satisfied themselves. They both came inside my pussy more than once and they were totally drained by the time noon had struck. I ended up going on a hike with my third roommate and during the hike he brought something up.

He told me that one of his close friends was having a rough time with girls. He is 19 years old and I guess he is socially anxious or something because he has never had sex. He's a virgin. He told me that he has kissed a few girls, but never anything more then that. I was sympathetic, and I asked him "Why are you telling me all this?" He told me "I was hoping you could help".

He explained that he knows it's not technically part of our free use deal, but that he was hoping I would make an exception for his close friend. I was a bit hesitant, just because I don't even know the guy. But I could see that it really meant a lot to my roommate, so I agreed. My roommate was stoked and he pulled out his phone to text his friend and tell him to come over that night. I'm not sure what exactly he told him but nonetheless he was gonna be at our place.

That night I was in my room when my roommate came in and told me that his friend was on his way, and that he wanted me to be ready. He told me that he wanted me to be fully naked and blindfolded on my bed, just waiting with my ass facing the door. I was supposed to just be a hole for his friend. This was a new request and so I decided that I wanted something in return. I told him "Deal, but only on one condition.". "What is it?" he asked me. "I'll do whatever you want, but you have to eat me out after so I get to cum too". I told him.

He thought about it for a long second, before agreeing. "Honestly. I have always wanted to try that but I have kinda been to embarrassed to ask" he told me. I was kinda shocked by his admission because he has always been a really dominant guy when he fucks me. I was surprised he had such submissive desires.

He got me into position on the bed and tied the blindfold around my head. "Don't say anything or talk at all" he told me while blindfolding me. I was honestly starting to get pretty excited and wet. I didn't even know what this guy looked like. My roommate gave my pussy a quick kiss and a lick to get me ready for his friends cock. As he was licking me there was a knock on the front door. He was here.

My roommate went to go let him in and I heard him tell his friend that his "Surprise" was waiting for him in my room. When he opened the door he exclaimed "what the fuck is this!". My roommate replied "Its the girl I have been telling you about. Her pussy is yours tonight". At first his friend could hardly believe it, but when my bare pussy and ass are pointing directly at you, whats not to believe. Right? I was dead silent the entire time as requested. All I did was wiggle my ass at him, inviting him to fuck me.

He told my roommate to get out, and he closed the door. I guess he didn't want him to see his dick or something. He walked up behind me and gently touched my pussy. I was dead silent except for a slight moan. "Wow" I heard him say. He unzipped his pants and pressed against me. It was my turn to be surprised. He was fucking HUGE. Like the biggest I have had in a while, maybe even my life.

He started pressing against my pussy and I groaned as he slid his massive dick into me. Fuck it was gigantic. He started fucking me slowly at first, but then faster and faster as he gained more confidence. He fucked me for only like two minutes before I could tell he was going to cum. "Can I cum in you?" I heard him ask. I didn't say anything, I just nodded. He pulled me tight against him and he came inside of my pussy. I moaned along with him.

He pulled out and just said "Thank you". I moaned in response and he got the hint and left the room. My roommate came in right after him and I told him "Now it's time for your side of the agreement." He didn't say a word, he just closed the door so his friend wouldn't see what he was about to do. He spread my butt from behind and started licking me like a fucking pussy eating monster. I have never seen him so eager. Honestly his enthusiasm drove me wild. I was cumming in minutes and when I felt my pussy after I came I could hardly tell a guy had just cum in me. He had cleaned me up good. I felt pretty pleased with myself that night. I had done a good deed.

mm a group of guys letting me stay with them for free in exchange for free use of my holes 😍😍

[queensunshinee]

Time Of Our Lives || Part 17

Part 17:

The silence in Liana and Patrick's room had a static tint. Like hearing a sound from an old song over and over again but not knowing which song it is. A familiar but distant feeling. A repression that explodes in your face. Over and over and over again.

The knowledge that she was alone made it easier for her to release the tears, as if in this characterless room, in the fancy hotel, she could allow herself to be well…herself. And all she wanted right now was to lie on the bed in a fetal position and cry over the years she wasted. Over the time that won't come back. Over wrong choices. Over mistakes. Mistakes. Mistakes. So many mistakes. Why couldn't she be one of those people who shout "bingo" after exactly three rounds? Why does everything have to be complicated? Why does someone else always win?

Patrick came in late. As if he wasn’t even trying to hide what he did. Liana fell asleep easily, it was past midnight, and he expected her to be asleep. To his surprise, the light was on and Liana was packing a suitcase. "Lilo, what's going on?" He swallowed hard. He didn't see her face but his heart was racing, 'You know what's going on.' "Lilo," her voice was quiet, and sarcasm washed over her like the last of the cynics as she chuckled while repeating the nickname.

"Where were you, Patrick?" She turned to him, and he swallowed hard. She was swollen and red from crying and anger, and like always, all her emotions were displayed on her face like a billboard. He had seen her contempt for him before, but not like this. Not with such determination.

"Liana," he closed his eyes and tried to regulate his breathing. "Be a man and say it," she said, not moving, continuing to look vaguely at him, past him. He was silent. "Pussy," she rolled her eyes and went back to the suitcase. She sounded like Tashi for a moment, and Patrick wanted to die. Sweet, gentle Liana. The one who thinks eight times before saying something, sounded like Tashi. "Liana, look at me for a second. Wait a minute." He wanted to throw up. He didn’t know how to stop her anger. How to minimize the damage. How to make sure she stayed where she was. How to make sure she would let him get close to her again. "If you touch me, I'll stab you in the eye." She said with feigned indifference when she heard his steps approaching her. "Please look at me." He begged. "Liana." His voice was more authoritative, knowing she wouldn’t withstand it. That her desire to feel needed and good was usually greater than her anger. "It won't work. Not this time. Not when it comes to Tashi Duncan." She said, as if knowing in advance what his strategy would be. What he would try to do.

"Let me explain. Please." He would get on his knees if he had to. She couldn't leave this room without knowing that he loved her. That he would leave his entire life for her. As he had done once before.

"Thank God I don’t have your baby. God, what a mess would that be." She muttered to herself as she closed the suitcase. Patrick took a few steps back. "What are you talking about?" He also had tears in his eyes, and he felt like he couldn't breathe. "What the hell are you talking about? Hey, look at me!" He approached her, raising his voice with every word he spoke.

"Do you really think I would have kept your baby, Patrick? As if this whole life isn’t a mistake anyway," she shook her head from side to side, saying the most venomous and painful things she could think of. "What baby?" His voice returned to being quiet. Like a child who was promised a puppy and then told he hadn't behaved well enough. "Ask Tashi." She scoffed and walked past him towards the door.

Patrick didn't stop her.

Art couldn't look at Tashi. They were supposed to go over videos of his competitor and do a short practice before today’s game, but he couldn’t look at her, and he couldn’t hide it either. "Did you tell her?" she asked after 20 minutes of awkward silences and business as usual. "Huh?" he didn’t understand. "Liana, did you tell her?" she asked more slowly. Sometimes it took Art a moment to understand. "What did I tell her?" His heart started to race. "Oh my God, Art, you saw me and Patrick yesterday. Don’t tell me you didn’t tell her." She reacted as if it was obvious. "You saw me?" he asked. "Of course I saw you. You wore green and stood out like a traffic light." She rolled her eyes. "And you still went with Patrick." He didn’t understand.

"Oh my God, Art. Just answer me, did you tell Liana or not?" She was starting to lose patience completely. "Yes..." he turned red and couldn’t look at her, "I’m sorry, I couldn’t hide it from her, Tash-" he started a monologue, hoping it wouldn’t cost him his friendship with Tashi. He had gotten used to her presence more than he was willing to admit, and she really did make him a better player. "Good, did you seal the deal?" she asked, and he blinked at her, not understanding anything anymore.

"Tashi, what?" he asked, feeling like they were having a conversation between a deaf person and a mute one, at this point. "Art, God help me, did you fuck her?" she asked directly for a change, reaching the conclusion that she couldn’t hint at anything with him. "What? No!" he was startled by her accusation. He would've jumped out of the couch if he hadn’t been more concerned about his composure in front of her.

"Why the hell not?" she asked in disbelief. "I don’t understand this conversation." He voiced his thoughts aloud. He was maroon-colored at this point. "I made it so easy for you, Arthur, what else needs to happen for you to claim what is yours?" She looked him in the eyes and saw him swallow hard.

"Liana is not mine." He said. Loser. "She’s not Patrick’s anymore. That’s for sure." She replied. Tashi really and truly didn’t understand what was holding him back. For a year she had seen him fumbling in the dark with the girl he looked at with hearts in his eyes. A year. Who doesn’t give up after a year?! Maybe someone who carries the key to her room for five years like a pathetic fool while she’s in a relationship with his best friend. But Tashi knew more than Art. Tashi saw Liana up close as a woman sees another woman. She saw the dark circles around her eyes and the despair. She saw so much despair.

And Patrick has this ability, Tashi thinks. To be the best and the worst at the same time. Like an electric current throughout the body, there are places where it feels good and places where it burns. Patrick mostly burns. And Tashi saw Liana six months ago, almost completely burnt out. Almost begging for a lifeline.

So she gave a push. She gave a little shove in hopes that everything would sort itself out. If Art had enough balls, everything would have been sorted out yesterday, but in the meantime, everyone keeps suffering and paying for his mistakes from five years ago.

"Okay," she sighed. "Let’s go back to the video and leave this until we get back from Atlanta, alright?" she asked. "But Tash-" he tried to resist. There were so many questions on the tip of his tongue. "Art. You are going to win this tournament. You are going to be the winner of this week, do you understand me?" she asked in the most authoritative and serious voice she could find. Art had no choice but to nod.

Hey, can we talk? -Patrick-

Liana -P- Hey, not sure if you saw, but I won the Atlanta Open, wish you were here. How are you? -Art- Hey girl, you haven’t answered your phone for a few days, should I be worried? -Melissa- Liana, if you don’t answer me, I’m coming to America and staying in your shitty apartment until I grow old. -M- Patrick and I broke up. -L- Do you want me to come? -M- Always. -L- I miss you. -P- Liana. we need to talk, we can’t leave things like this. -P- Just tell me you're okay. -P- You weren’t at the construction site today, can I call you? -A- I packed all your things, when can you pick them up? -L- Liana, can we talk like adults? Please. -P- Lilo, I’m begging you. -P- Okay, tomorrow at 8 PM, is that okay? -P- Leave the key in the closet outside when you’re done. -L- You won’t be at the apartment? -P- Hey, can I come over tomorrow around 8 PM? -L- Of course. Here’s the address. -A-

Liana heard a knock on the door at two in the afternoon and got annoyed. She didn’t want to see Patrick, and they had agreed that he would come to get his things at eight in the evening. Why couldn’t he just do one thing properly for once?!

“We agreed you’d come at eight, so what the fuck is this?!” she asked as she opened the door, seeing Tashi standing there. “I decided to come early,” Tashi replied sarcastically. “Can I come in?” she asked and entered without waiting for an invitation.

Liana was dressed in an oversized T-shirt and shorts. If Tashi had to guess, and she didn’t really want to, the shirt probably belonged to Patrick. Her hair was greasy, and she looked like she hadn’t slept since Tashi last saw her briefly in Atlanta, three weeks ago.

“You don’t have a couch in your living room,” Tashi said. The small space that could barely be called a living room looked empty, filled with boxes that Tashi assumed were Patrick’s, but the absence of the couch was noticeable. “I paid the neighbor $150 to get rid of it or burn it. I don’t know. Why are you here?” Liana asked, looking at her with complete disinterest.

“You and I, we’re not friends, you remember that, right?” Tashi said. “You came to my house to tell me we’re not friends? You slept with my boyfriend, I figured out we’re not friends on my own.” Liana rolled her eyes. Indifference was the only thing evident in her voice. Maybe also exhaustion. “I just remember you sitting across from me in a café, me asking if you wanted to be friends, and you saying something like ‘God no’. We were both there, right?” Tashi reminded her of their conversation when Liana had asked her to accompany her to the clinic.

“Well done, Tashi, you did a good deed for a complete stranger, and now what? You won’t rest until we all remember that you’re actually a bitch?” Liana asked, looking at her. “Look at you, how much character you’ve developed in these weeks,” Tashi replied and chuckled. “What the fuck do you want? I’m busy.” Liana said, turning her back to her. “With Self-pity?” Tashi asked. “Do you need something? Did you come to gloat? What’s the purpose of your visit? How do we finish this faster?” Liana ignored her question.

The truth was, Liana pitied herself a lot. She had ended a relationship with someone she really loved, who had hurt her so much there was nothing left. And she probably still loved him. And she probably always would. And what did it say about her if she was willing to love someone who treated her like gum stuck to the sole of his shoe? But Tashi didn’t need to know all that.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry if you got hurt.” Tashi sighed, and Liana turned to her, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t think you’re supposed to get hurt, but I’m sorry if you did,” she added quickly. “I’m not supposed to get hurt by the fact that my boyfriend of the last four years slept with someone I trusted enough to ask for help when I had no one else to ask?” Liana asked in response. Her leg started to shake uncontrollably.

“You’re not in a relationship with me, I don’t owe you anything.” Tashi shrugged. “Do you want to hear what I think, Liana?” she asked.

“No, not really.” “I think you chose wrong. I think one of them thrives when you’re with him, and one of them withers when you’re with him. You chose wrong. And now you’re dealing with your choices. Because we both know Art worships you, and when you stand next to him, he’s the best he can be. He proves to you he’s the best he can be. He’ll be the best for you because you’re there, next to him. Watching.” She paused to catch her breath but looked at Liana with a gaze that made it clear she wasn’t finished.

“Patrick, on the other hand. He’s at his best when he needs to prove to you that he deserves your attention. The moment he got it, he lost it. He lost interest. He lost the reason to prove himself. He stopped striving higher. He wilts. You think he’s draining your will to live? Just by agreeing to be his, you took away his reason to live. It’s too comfortable for him now. He doesn’t need to impress you anymore, and who is Patrick Zweig when he doesn’t need to impress Liana Levy? A shadow of the person he was. You chose wrong, and you know it.” She finished, examining Liana, who just looked at her with tear-filled doe eyes.

“Buy a couch, Liana, or better yet, leave this shithole. It smells like mold here. Art’s apartment is nice, and I think he’d be happy to have you as a roommate.” Tashi applied what looked like hand sanitizer, patted Liana’s shoulder twice, and left the apartment.

All Liana could do was sit on the floor, crying. She didn’t have a couch to hold on to for the remnants of her self-respect.

heyyy :) kinda shorter chapter but I felt like it was a needed one. also, once again, we have more Tashi 🤭 as always, talk to me, the askbox is very open <3

taglist: @soberbabes @nina357 @lamoursansfin @marley1773 @ruyaas-world @apolloscastellan @primlovesdilfs @fangirl-kimora @serenadingtigers @imbabycowboy @do-it-for-kicks @izzywags478 @4deline08 @igotmajordaddyissues @jackierose902109 @ganana @yoitsme-04 @swetearss

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Do you think the kidnapping was the last straw for age gap!reader and that’s why she decided to become a housewife??

Not quite.

When you did faint, for real instead of pretending, Clark is not surprised. Your heart had started racing again and you were trying very hard to stay composed and sweet.

He was just glad he was there to catch you and keep you from cracking your head on the pavement when the rookie cop closest to you was too busy being start struck to realize you were about to collapse. EMT's were called and you were taken by ambulance to the nearest hospital.

He only hoped Bruce had a plan. And a damn good one. Because, as he looked at the sad little cell the would be kidnapper planned to keep you in his stomach turned. If it hadn't been for the tracker to put in your sneaker, they might never have been able to find you.

__________________

"Sweetheart," Bruce said, rushing into the room, "My god, I'm so sorry! I came as soon as I got your call."

The nurse taking your vitals again glanced up and sighed internally. She'd HAVE to tell the desk to pay attention. Your Agent, some co stars, managers- jesus a parade of people had traipsed through this room. Even a particularly intrepid tabloid journalist. But- At least this was one visitor that you didn't seem to mind.

"I'm okay, I think," you tell him. "I- nothing really had time to happen. I just have some bruises and a concussion."

"Do you need anything?" he asked, crossing the floor, smiling briefly at the nurse before kissing your forehead. "Are they keeping you or-"

"The doctor is just waiting on some x-rays," the nurse told you when you looked at her questioningly. "Once we have all our tests back you should be good to go."

"Thank you, Nancy," you tell her, "Could I have some more water when you get a second?"

"Absolutely," she answered. Mollified somewhat when Bruce set himself to fussing over you in that endearing, clueless way that men had. Uselessly fluffing pillows and petting your hair.

"What were they x-raying?" Bruce asked, perching on the end of your bed. Between you and the door.

"My abdomen. I had stomach pain and they wanted to make sure I wasn't bleeding or something- I don't know if it was a knee of a foot but-"

"I should have hit him harder," Bruce growled.

"Bruce-"

"I'm taking you back to Gotham tonight," he murmured. "And Alfred is working on your security as we speak."

You blink for a second and bite your lip, "I have work and contracts-"

"Not to stay," Bruce hummed. "But I pointed out that you would need a couple days of rest to recover. And pointed out that making you work would be "a bad look" once the story broke. They agreed. And decided to shoot things you weren't in for a couple days."

You look at him confused and Bruce smiles a little, "I'm having the security revamped in your Apartment while you're with me. And being a little selfish- I missed you."

"Brucie, you don't have to do all that."

"I do though," he murmured. "It scared me, that phone call. And I don't like being scared."

_______________________

That night, in his bed. Finally feeling safe enough to let go, you let Bruce take you. It was tender and sweet- even while both of you were desperate.

Cleaving to each other for comfort. Craving the sense of belonging that you felt joined together. No secrets, no lies, only met desires and realized longings.

Bruce smudged soft kisses on every bruise and nuzzled every sore spot. Lavishing attention on your sore stomach. Careful to read your body language. If you pulled away, he would stop. But you clung onto him. Worldless pleading. Telling him. Don't leave me.

"I'm here, Princess," he breathed. "are you okay?"

You nod and lean up to kiss him, "How do you do it?"

"Do what, beautiful?" he hummed, sliding his cock along your entrance before sliding inside you.

"Make me feel so safe, all the time."

"Is that how you feel now, sweet girl?" he hummed, "Safe? Loved?"

You nod, wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him closer to you.

He smiled and rubbed his nose against yours as he bracketed himself above you, "Marry me?" he blurted, "Let me make you feel that way forever."

"You- Bruce- I-"

"I mean it," he breathed. "Marry me? Let me keep you safe, Sweetheart. Make me the happiest I've ever been?"

"How could I say no to that?" you ask, stroking his cheek as you kissed him.

[knight-of-flowerss]

cregan stark headcannons for crushing or a blurb pls ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hii!! I sadly haven’t watched season 2 yet so these are js going off fanon and stuff 😭

Also I’m sorry if this isn’t the best I haven’t wrote properly in a good few months 😭

HOTD Masterlist

CREGAN STARK HEAD CANONS || SFW ||

🃃 Cregan Stark is a stoic man. A Stark man. A full beard at such a young age (ik that in the show he don’t have a beard or summin but these are my head canons and he’s a Stark so-).

🃟 He’s the Winterfell darling basically. It was a running ‘joke’ that every girl wants him and every man wants to be him. And it was 100% true.

🃃 And this is how you ended up here. Staring at the young lord with adoration infecting your eyes.

🃟 Your young heart couldn’t contain the crush that had bubbled over. You had known of this man barely a few months and thanks to your brother, you saw him pretty much everyday.

🃃 Preparing for war wasn’t easy for anyone. But with Cregan’s dashing smile reassuring your family during this crisis, how could you not swoon?

🃟 His eyes, his hair, his beard, his smile. Everything about this man was perfect, you melted whenever you saw him.

🃃 Every time your mother was called into a meeting with Cregan, your brother and your step-father, you jumped at the opportunity to accompany her, claiming that “We’re family mother, we should stick by eachother.”.

🃟 Yes you just lied to your dear mother to get closer to your little crush, do you give a fuck? Fuck no. I mean have y’all seen the Starks? They’re literal sex gods.

🃃 In these meetings, you sat down near the vast table they often bickered at over battle tactics while you started in awe at them all, admiration of your mother, respect for your brother, intimidation of your step-father and desire for Cregan.

🃟 While sat in these meetings you’ll take sneaky glances over at Cregan and for a while, he didn’t even glance your way, give you a passing thought. But after a while you noticed his eyes… lingering.

🃃 One day you were walking around Dragonstone with Joffrey, admiring the sheer beauty of your home when all of a sudden, long dark locks catch your attention.

🃟 At first glance you thought it was Jace, he grew his hair out and really started to become your father more and more with each passing day.

🃃 You look down and see expensive furs trailing the floor as the cape the figure was wearing sweeped up any un-seen muck from the floor.

🃟 You trailed your eyes up and met with frosty-grey eyes peering back at you.

🃃 A sly smirk adorns his rough face, his eyes burning holes into yours.

🃟 Your cheeks flush as your lips part, plump and soft, your front teeth peeking through.

🃃 His large frame stalks towards you, boots beating on the stone floors, striding with a cunty confidence.

🃟 The seven had surely blessed this man. He was sent from the Maiden herself.

🃃 A shadow casts over you, the sun immediately cowering from your soft features. Your doe eyes peer up, looking past your dark decorated hair to trail up to his face.

🃟 After a lengthy few seconds of sexually charged silence, Joffrey speaks up.

🃃 “When are we going to the library sister?”

🃟 You blinked out of your trance. Your head moving towards your baby brother while your eyes stay on Cregan’s, but eventually your eyes drift away from him and set upon your brother.

🃃 “Uh- oh yes uhm, we’ll go now brother.”, your head moves to Cregan, “It’s nice to see you again Lord Stark, I hope it won’t be the last time we all see each other on this visit of yours.”

🃟 Cregan nods, once curved lips, that formed a smirk, fall into a flat line as he agrees, “Of course your grace, I’ll see you both in the hall for the feast.”

🃃 The next time you see the rugged man, it’s the feast in the hall a few hours later.

🃟 You were sat with Joffrey on your left and your other little brother Viserys. Your baby brother had smacked his food out of the maids hands so you offered to feed him something while she cleaned the very large mess.

🃃 Your hand dips the spoon into the oats to lift a hefty amount onto the cutlery, heading towards your huffy brothers opened mouth, little did you know his hand would fly up and smack the spoon into your face.

🃟 A shocked gasp left your mouth as you stared at Viserys, his face lighting up and giggling, you couldn’t help the soft smile that graced your oat-y features.

🃃 You quickly got up and went to clean up before anyone noticed and you didn’t want the attention on you due to your appearance.

🃟 But as you hurried through the doors to clean up, eyes followed your body across the hall. Cregan’s mouth curved into a smile and a small chuckle left his lips.

🃃 But, when you came back you saw something that angered you, more than any amount of oats poured on you could.

🃟 A young woman, a daughter of some Lord that was supporting your mother, was throwing herself all over Cregan.

🃃 And he was enjoying it.

🃟 ‘I shouldn’t be jealous,

you aren’t even mine.’

Tags: @thethreeeyed-raven @lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom

[b1ravenclaw]

Hey, I saw your requests are open. I was wondering if you’d consider writing some breeding kink smut for Cassian x AFAB reader from ACOTAR? Or Poly bat boys x AFAB reader?

I was thinking about the fae cycles the other day and wondered if female high fae only have their cycle a couple of times a year, do they have a time when they’re more fertile, and would male fae be able to sense that?

And then my brain went down the smut path of Cassian or the bat boys sensing that the reader/their mate is in that time of their cycle and being super possessive or fighting with each other over who gets to have her and get her pregnant.

If you do write something, can I ask that there is no daddy kink please. I just don’t see Cassian or the bat boys being into that with all their own father issues.

Thanks!!! 🦇🤎

Here it is!!! I loved your request. I chose to do it with only Cassian, buuuut I really want to write a poly bat boys in the future!

Summary: You are ovulating and your mate knows it.

Warnings: pure smut, no plot, breeding kink?

“General…” I said while sitting right on my mate’s lap.

“Y/n.” He groaned, his hand finding my waist and settling me further onto him.  “What have I told you about calling me that?” 

“To only say it on very necessary formal occasions… or when it’s just the two of us in our room.”

“Good girl,” he whispered in my ear, his big hands stroking my thighs, my waist, and the little pouch I have on my lower belly (his personal favorite to caress). “And are we in our room?”

“No, but we are all alone.” I countered, grinding a little onto his lap. “General”

“Yeah.” He groaned again, his hands holding my hips firmly so as to stop me from moving anymore. “But anyone could walk right in.”  

“They won’t.” I counter trying to move but to no avail, he was always physically stronger than me, but I knew his mental resolve would soon crumble.

“But they could. What has gotten into you sweetheart, huh? Can you not behave? Have I not taught you good manners?” 

“You have Cass, but please…” With his hands firmly holding my hips my legs were free to do as I pleased, and upon opening them he finally got a good sense, or rather a good sniff, of how much I needed him. 

“Cauldron.” He cursed lowly, I could feel his briefs straining under me, his grip becoming deathly only arousing me furthermore. “Is that what it is about then?”

“Is it a crime to be needy for my mate?” He hummed kissing down my neck, one hand stroking my side. I was hot and so was he, our bodies fuming with desire. 

“But you are especially needy today, normally you behave so well…” He opened my legs more, his touch was almost of a ghost, dancing dangerously close to where I wanted it. To where I needed it.

“Don’t know General, just know I need it.” Taking the opportunity of his loosened grip I grinded more onto him, feeling almost the full extent of his desire. “And I think you need it too.”

“Hmm, I want it. But I don’t think I need it nearly as badly as you.” I was dizzy, his touch alone enough to make me go mad, but his kisses were what made every coherent thought leave my head. 

“What do you mean?” I almost whined, the thought that he didn’t need me as much as I needed him clouding my judgment.

“You are ovulating, sweetheart. Can’t you feel it?” He pressed my back more onto him, grinding up to meet my ass. His other hand pressing down on where my womb would be. “The dying need to fuck.” He whispered. “To breed. To be full of your mates cum, to lay down and get utterly fucked, not by my fingers or even my mouth. But by my cock.” A desperate sound left me, and he stood up abruptly, taking my hand in his and leading a slow tortuous path to our shared bedchambers. 

“Not true.” I tried to say, embarrassed by the whole ordeal. 

“No? Then why are you so desperately wet.”

“You have not touched me there yet, you can not tell.”

“Oh sweetheart, I can practically hear your pretty cunt, she has been talking this whole time.” I was as red as his siphons, glad that the house was suspiciously empty. He opened the door to let us inside and closed it behind me, his body never leaving mine, and as soon as I heard the door click I was on him. Grabbing at his leaders, touching him anywhere and everywhere. He was right, I was desperate, the only thing in my mind was his glorious cock and how it fit me so well. How we fit so well. 

Damn fae senses, damn the mating bond, damn him for knowing me so well. But it was exactly what I wanted, him to fuck me full and stuffed of his cum. 

“General.” I said again, my voice dripping of lust, and I saw it in his eyes the moment his resolve broke. I willed our clothes to vanish and soon we were both naked on the bed, our bodies grinding together.

Moans filled the room as he laid me gently on my back, his calloused fingers leaving goosebumps on its search for my body. His fingers stopped at my breasts, teasing my peaked nipples. 

“I love when you are like this, all spread out for me.” His eyes were darkened with desire, but what I felt down the bond was pure love and adoration. I couldn’t wait for him to worship me nearly as much as I could not wait to sink down on his delicious cock. His hand trailed down my body, finding the pearl between my thighs, gently he stroked my clit and as my moans got louder I could feel his need growing stronger.

“I think what they say is true, y/n.”

“What, Cass?”

“That when a female is ovulating the hormones drive a male crazy.” His fingers sank into my cunt, curling and hitting just the right spot, but not quite. Not like his cock could. “Cause it’s driving me crazy not to fuck you deep and hard right now.”

“Why don’t you?” He chuckled as I whined.

“You were so whiny and needy, I wanted to be romantic.” “Don’t be.” I breathed, his fingers working me closer and closer to my peak.

“You sure sweetheart?”

“Yes, General, please.”  

I knew he wasn’t going to fuck me without preping me first, so I wasn’t surprised when he leaned down and licked at my cunt so my orgasm came stronger. Harder. And so it did, he was quick to sink into me and the moans that left both of us were purely sinful. His strong arms holding me close as he thrusted harder each time, the mushroom tip of his cock doing wonders for my pleasure. Cassian looked like a God on top of me, wings spread out wide, his beautiful face shining with sweat and the remains of my arousal. I could not help it as the pleasure came crashing down on me, I clenched hard around him, milking him hard. His moans turned into whimpers and as he came, as I felt his cum coat my walls, my need was reborn. Turning us around so as he was sitting down on the bed I started riding him harder, faster. I could feel him deeper in this position and it was all that I needed. 

After a while I did not know anymore when my pleasure started and where his ended, my only thought being of feeling warm and full. 

“Cass,” with a final whimper our limbs untangled, as I layed down trying to regain my surroundings I felt him shifting and getting out of bed. “Don’t leave.”

“I won’t.” He kissed my brow and quickly returned with a wet cloth to clean me up. 

“I love you darling, you did so well.” The praise went straight to my heart, and I sent gratitude down the bond, after cleaning me up we both lay on the bed in each other's arms. His scent engulfed me, being all I needed, slowly putting me to sleep. 

“I love you too Cass, more than anything.” 

[cero-sleep]

EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS

Hi all! I'm gonna be taking emergency commissions to support my gf! Please consider commissioning either of us if you can! We would really appreciate it if y'all could reblog as well! Thank you!

Here are her commissions!

Digital (Normal)

These are fully colored with soft shading and either a one color or gradient background

Max 2 characters per drawing with the additional character being +50% of the price

Headshot $10

Half body $15

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These are fully colored with soft shading and either a one color or gradient background

Max 2 characters per drawing with the additional character being +50% of the price

Headshot $5

Half body $10

Full body $15

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These have flat colors and a one colored background

Max 1 character per painting

If so desired the painting can be shipped to you with the additional cost of shipping

Headshot $20

Some things to keep in mind:

Additionally, my art can't be used for AI or NFTs (Non-Fungible Tokens)

Payment is upfront through kofi and I'll have a week to complete the commission!

If you don't see something you want here message me! I don't bite!

[thegoldencontracts]

I know you’re doing the mountain lovers club anyways, but can I request a scene where the reader very tenderly adjusts Jade’s Bennie as if he is the most precious creature in the entire world 🥺?

AGHHH THID IS SO CUTE NONNIE YOU DELIVER WHOO 🎉

Precious

Summary: Jade is intimidating, yes. But to you, he's the most precious thing in the world.

Notes: Ahhh flustered Jade, so precious aghhhh... Tyy nonnsie once again

Jade was rather used to being intimidating. He didn't mind it, really, he didn't. Intimidation was quite the useful tactic in matters of business and amusement alike.

He didn't mind being intimidating. That was a simple, indisputable fact. He cared not for being fawned over like some child.

So why was it that he looked on with such an odd, traitorous desire whenever he saw acts of care between couples? Why did he long for someone to care for him in such a manner? Was it not the height of peculiarity, terribly irrational behavior befitting only of guppies?

Jade had long chalked the matter up to mete teenage hormones. Yes, this was a side effect of being a human teenager. Nothing more. His brain was above such a childish longing.

It was a childish longing that was currently being terribly bolstered by none other than you.

"Well, I do suppose you're a tad frightened now," Jade said with a laugh. "Really, it's rather impressive how long you've made it without so much as a flinch. I ought to bid you farewell."

"No, no, keep going," you said, with an oddly dopey grin upon your face.

"Well then-" You were staring at him scrutinizingly. Jade sighed, attempting to keep his expression neutral. If you were to be scared off so easily, did you truly have to give him that false hope? "Is something the matter, dearest?"

You just continued scrutinizing him for a bit. Then, your face fell into a lovestruck grin.

Before Jade could inquire as to what exactly you were thinking, you adjusted his beanie, with that look on your face. That look of admiration.

As if you thought he was the most precious thing you'd ever laid eyes upon.

"Your beanie was covering your eyes a bit," you said sheepishly. "I was kinda torn between adjusting it and just taking in how cute you looked like that, not gonna lie."

You were so- caring. As if you thought he was someone worthy of your adoration, your care.

Jade's eyes widened.

"I- er- thank you," he said, hastily turning to the fungi in order to avoid your gaze. You smirked.

"Are you blushing?" You asked, startling him with a poke to the side.

He hastily shook his head.

"Let us move on," he said.

"Don't deny it-"

"Let us move on," he said, more pointedly this time.

So, this was the other side of your affection. The teasing.

Oddly enough, he didn't quite mind.

[vegaseatsass]

The Sol-tuation is a lot more nuanced than that!!

Who knew I, an absolutely feral Mingjoe shipper, would end up making so many posts about the secondary love interest who never stood a chance with our protagonist, but I truly think they're doing some fascinating things with this character and it hurts a little to see so so so many fandom reactions that take what's happening on the surface as the full story with no interest in peeling back those appearances.

I will say before I start: huge credit to @zhouxiangs for so many of these opinions, she shared a few insights about Sol with me today that completely reshaped my interpretation of the character, so thank you x 2389234, this post is not exclusively My thoughts. (Also SolYim as a ship is galaxy brain and the only thing I now want for Sol's future. Thank you for that TOO)

So I very much understand why what it appears Sol is doing - ignoring Joe's clear lack of interest in him to pursue him, taking every opportunity to touch him, and working overtime to prevent Joe from seeing the truth about Ming and his obvious devotion, so he can still "win" Joe instead - is rubbing a lot of people the wrong way. Straight up, situations where people I'm not romantically interested in have pursued me despite my clear and direct (and often hard-fought because I used to be a huge people pleaser) "no" are something I hope to avoid for the rest of my natural life. Relentless pursuit can be a sexy fantasy if you want someone back, as Joe does Ming, but for most of us, it's emotionally pressuring nightmare fuel if you don't.

But I would argue that's really not what's happening. An extremely essential missing piece of context to Sol's behavior is that Joe died because of his relationship with Ming, and Sol spent years grieving him. In episode 9 in particular, they're all face-to-face with the cold hard truth of that grief, and I don't think Sol is any exception, even if he knows Joe is back now. In episode 8, Sol confirmed Joe was back, and he was so euphorically happy, but he was not pushing and shoving Joe to hop into a relationship with him, was he? He was just delighted Joe was alive. But this episode, he's suddenly faced with the very real prospect that Ming and Joe still have feelings for each other. That Joe may return to the man who got him killed. Who Sol, in his own eyes, failed to protect Joe from in his first life, even though Sol so badly wanted to pay back Joe's sincerity to him. And I think the threat of losing Joe again is making Sol (who ran back to Korea instead of processing his grief and guilt over his death) a little insane.

I mean, let's talk about Sol in Joe's first life. After Joe told him he couldn't return his feelings, did we see any inkling of this frantic episode 9 pushiness? Sure, there was the moment where he tried to convince Joe that he and Ming were incompatible, after watching Ming need to hide Joe from his family in what I'm sure read as shame to Sol. I can give Sol some grace for this knowing he struggled with coming to terms with his own sexuality (see: the first time he ran away to Korea), and is now trying to overcompensate for who he was in the past, but you don't have to give him this grace if you don't want to. I can admit his desire to support Joe as a friend is compromised by the tumultuousness of his longing for Joe. Like there's also the fight with Ming on the staircase where Joe gets knocked down and Sol and Ming just keep fighting. Sol is not a saintly unselfish being who keeps his feelings and his desire to protect and support Joe perfectly separate, by any means. (To me this is part of why he's interesting and human, but I get that we all have different character preferences.)

But dinner with Ming's family aside, when first life Joe tells Sol he doesn't want to be with him, Sol lets it go and is happy living in the friend zone. When Joe tells him not to come over and intervene when he's trying to break up with Ming, Sol listens. Sol believes that Joe can handle himself and he respects the boundaries that Joe sets, regardless of what he wants or hopes in the privacy of his own heart.

And what happens without Sol's intervention? Without anyone's intervention? Joe dies. Joe is chained up in a basement - Joe was not safe with Ming, Joe was not able to clear the situation up using just his words - and blacklisted from the industry, driven to desperate financial straits and killed.

So my read of Sol is that he's scrambling to make himself a shield. He thought he was already in a role where he could support Joe, this time around, but this episode raised the threat of Joe going back to Ming and dying again, and now he's frantically trying to change himself into something that can actually keep Joe from doing that. If Joe suddenly decided he wanted to be with Sol and not Ming, would Sol be happy on his own behalf? Of course, I'm not denying that. But I really think so much of the desperation to offer himself as a romantic choice is to try to show Joe he has options that aren't Ming, to try to intervene in ways he didn't in Joe's first life, at any cost.

You can't force someone not to return to an abusive partner, the same way you can't force someone not to commit suicide, or make any other choice where they could get hurt or disappear from your life forever. It's a necessary journey for everyone, to realize you have to respect your loved ones' agency even when they're making choices that terrify you to your core. Sol has not learned that yet, and I'm not defending how pushy and out of pocket he was being this episode. But I'm really, really sympathetic to the absolutely frantic terror that I think was underlying it. If you've never had a suicidal loved one or a loved one trapped in a destructive cycle, it's easy enough to expect Sol to do the right things (the actually HELPFUL and supportive things), instead of the toxic, selfish things. For me he's a far richer and more human character for making the wrong choices, though. For being selfish, but not about wanting to possess Joe and force his feelings Sol's way. About wanting to keep Joe alive and unharmed by force, instead of trusting Joe to make his own choices. Again: you have to let people decide these things for themselves. You have to! If you don't support your loved ones' agency, any other support you think you're offering them is useless and suffocating and will genuinely compound whatever they're dealing with, make it much harder for them to heal, leave, etc - whatever the "healthy" choice is, they can't make it with you forcing them into it. They can't make it without you surrendering to the possibility of them making the "unhealthy" choice; without you accepting that it is their choice. But for a fictional character to go from "genuinely supportive friend" to "publicly announcing you're in a branded relationship a day after your own funeral" because he sees you slipping from his grasp - not emotionally, but potentially literally, metaphysically, permanently, AGAIN - well, to me, that's juicy and compelling.

I'm also more sympathetic to Sol than to Wut when it comes to telling Joe that Ming loves him, frankly. I think Joe needs an impartial friend (Yim!!!) that he can process all his Ming issues with openly, because it is never helpful to feel like because your friends know that your abuser/ex/etc harmed you, you can never go to them to process the moments of kindness and love. Joe needs to be able to look at the full picture of who Ming is and what Ming feels and decide for himself, he doesn't need Sol strongarming him out of accepting that Ming is capable of both great cruelty and great love. But Wut always takes the path of least resistance and it absolutely maddens me. To just say, with no qualification, "The man I and only I know knocked you out and kept you locked in a basement loves you, actually" is absolutely insane and irresponsible. I do not for a second believe Wut was ready to express nuance, to say, like, "I think Ming loves you in his own way, but that love is dangerous and possessive and I hope you stay away." If we see anything in the text that demonstrates otherwise I'm happy to be wrong about this, and then I would be in the "Let Wut speak!" camp. But for now, I do think he was going to play the role of an enabler, just because he finds it easier to let Ming handle Joe's estate and be in Joe's life than to fight it. Lol it still doesn't make Sol right to try to keep Joe from seeing the full picture, but I'm sympathetic to him going wtf, Wut? Do you really think Ming loves him? knowing what Wut knows.

Anyway this is sooooo long so I will try to wrap it up, but I wanted to also talk about Sol and Joe and physical touch. Like I said at the beginning, I totally understand seeing how often Sol hugs Joe or grabs him and feeling uncomfortable imagining yourself in Joe's shoes. But as uncomfortable as EYE would be with Sol's affections, I want to try to analyze how Joe the character feels about all this. Now one of the things I most love about this series is the opaqueness of all the characters' choices, how there is always ambiguity and room for more than one interpretation. So if you watch the scenes where Sol puts his hands on Joe and think Joe looks trapped or unhappy, that is your prerogative! I noticed that the two times he shook Sol's touch off in the episode were when he thought Sol was going to stop him from breaking into his loft, and when he thought Sol was going to cause a scandal with Ming at the press party. Otherwise, from where I sit (my interpretation only!), Joe does not appear to experience Sol's touch as something unwanted or unsafe. I would actually make the argument that having someone he's known for years sharing a bed with him, hugging him, holding his hand, etc, could be offering Joe essential tactile comfort he's not getting from anyone else while he's in the midst of grieving his past life. For all we know, the level of physical intimacy between them is something that completely predates Sol acknowledging his feelings. This could be a normal level of touchiness between them, and not an example of Sol "taking liberties" or trying to force his way into Joe's heart.

To me the upshot of everything is that Joe, to my eyes, seems to feel completely safe with Sol and his professed feelings. When Sol brings his feelings up again when they're getting their makeup done, Joe's response ("how did the conversation turn to this?") pinged me as playful, affectionate, not uncomfortable and pressured. Joe is absolutely terrified of Ming's feelings for him and, significantly, what they would do to Joe's feelings for Ming - he is keeping himself away from Ming by the power of "You don't love me and never did" and when that crumbles so will most of his ability to resist him, I think - but Sol's feelings can't do anything to Joe. They can't make him want things he doesn't want, and they can't make him want things he doesn't want to want. I would argue that Sol is a friend that Joe feels safe around, and his open crush on Joe causes a bit of awkwardness, to be sure, but it doesn't make Joe feel pressured to do anything but be himself. When he's with Sol, he's not afraid of Sol, Sol's feelings, or Joe's feelings. I think that's important to acknowledge! The same way that Sol needs to accept that Joe is allowed to make the choice to go back to Ming and it's never been in Sol's hands, imo fandom needs to accept that if Joe is comfortable with Sol and his affections, we can't argue that he is being pressured by them, or in danger, or anything else.

But that's just my interpretation! I am happy to be disagreed with, haha. I just think Sol is as rich and interesting a character as Ming, but many of us as viewers have more trouble with flawed and selfish kindness (Sol) than we do with complex cruelty (Ming). But I love flawed and selfish kindness. I love characters who are trying so hard to be good and to take care of people they love, and fucking it up and not seeing the ways their wants and fears are getting in the way. So I love Sol. And obviously have a lot to say about him lol.

[thefooljester]

Can I request brian/hoodie x reader where reader is dating brian but he disappeared, causing her to be really stressed out about it. Since she used to be apart of the marble hornets student film, jay found her and pulled her in into his tape shit (along with tim), and at some point reader is either cornered by alex or the operator but hoodie saves her and while she didn’t recomzige it at first, she knows the boogie he’s wearing is brian’s. Hope this is okay!!

i had so much fun with this :33 it's alittle long and angsty but oh well. thanks for the request (i hope i fulfilled your expectations, anon!!)

- - - - - -

brian/hoodie protecting his old flame

features: brian t. [hoodie]

reader: female

warnings: canon-typical violence [mildly graphic], mental health crises [multiple people], implied character death

…

brian/hoodie protecting his old flame

Getting roped into Marble Hornets:

Initially, you didn’t want to take part in any of this. You weren’t a film student nor were you interested in new media… you chose a different path, but… as a journalism major, you had to find a good story to report on for your own assignments… and you frequently saw the film students asking your faculty for better equipment. That is how you got into it.

You were just printing out a report when two guys, presumably not a day older than 20, came in and inquired you about the audio equipment next to you. When you replied that you’d been recording an exclusive interview with a political science professor and had just finished wrapping up (implying that they could steal the microphone and the recorder if they so desired), they shared a wondrous look and promptly asked you which subjected you majored in.

Before you could even finish uttering the word “journalism”, one of the men already pushed forward with an outstretched hand…

“Hello! I’m Alex Kralie and I’m the director of ‘Marble Hornets’.”

You just stared at his hand, completely clueless. Doe-eyed, you tilted your head with a questioning glance thrown at his companion.

The other guy, Jay “the camera guy”, as you learned quickly, chuckled and explained that they were looking for someone who could… help with script-writing since Jay claimed that Alex’s vision lacked quality – and that the plot didn’t need to be so thin since ‘the others’ were, apparently, talented actors and actresses. For some reason, the director almost seemed like he was about to have an outburst at that, but swallowed it down.

And even though you wanted to decline, repeatedly stating that you were a journalism major and didn’t have extensive creative writing classes, you paused mid sentence, remembering that you… had to hand in something truly unique as one of the assignments. Something culturally relevant. Now, you don’t know about that, but this was as good as it was going to get.

You didn’t expect to be handed a copy of the script immediately though.

“Yeah, we kind of… like your blog and knew you’d do a better job than any of us, so thanks?” Jay sheepishly admitted, causing you to blush… that stupid student’s blog was just a course requirement… it’s not like it was your best work…

Meeting Brian:

It took you less than two days to get through the script for a complete rework and retrospectively, you were… in awe at how bad it was. This was the most boring piece of media you’ve ever read.

Today would be the first day with you on board and… you were going to mess with production so bad, honestly… yikes.

“Who’s Brian?”, you asked, holding another version of the script that you’d improved as if your own life and grades depended on it.

“Hi?”, said the guy across from you, blinking owlishly at you. He was informed about the writing assistant, but you… weren’t even a film student. He’d know, he would have seen you around, honestly. You carried yourself with class, but that flush of color of your cheeks revealed yourself quickly – you were a cutie. For you, he’d even pretend that he didn’t see you awkwardly psych yourself up from afar…

“Here’s your new script. Who’s Tim? Here’s yours. Now who-”

He was handed another manuscript and was astonished at how heavy it was compared to Alex’s rough outline of a story… he briefly flipped through the first half of the content, skimming the pages and… your dialogue was incredibly well written, much better than what their director had come up with. He whistled lowly, absolutely shocked by your talents and effort.

Now your (mild) eye bags made sense – you were working day and night for some people you didn’t even know. That’s impressive. Brian wouldn’t claim to be so kind. It was endearing… and reassuring to have someone rework the script for them… Lord knows that Tim and Jay should be focused on other things than writing when they’re socially incompetent.

From that day onward, you were a vital member of the production team.

Getting closer:

The more time Brian spent with you, the more he could see you for who you really are – someone naturally curious but cautious at the same time, someone who thought deeply and often, but who didn’t want to burden others, someone who was compassionate… and sweet… and nice… and funny!

He really likes you, okay? Looks are just a bonus, and he did think that you were cute, but your willingness to help was just so enchanting that he found himself bewitched by you. And you were around so often that he got to know you on a casual level, but he wanted more… he wasn’t yet in love but certainly interested – and that’s pretty unusual for him already.

But he hit the jackpot when you two accidentally forgot that Alex had canceled that day’s plans for filming because he apparently wasn’t feeling well and Jay stayed behind, too. Thus, neither the director nor the main cameraman had shown up. Neither did any of the others, for that matter… just you two awkwardly staring at each other, impatiently looking at the time until it dawned on you both: no filming today.

Oops. He invited you to lunch as a compensation for “catering to his acting skills”, at which you only scoffed at, saying that he was a good actor and that you loved watching him in front of the camera… that he brought your lines to life and that you appreciated good showmanship.

His heart might have skipped a beat because you were so honest when you said it. He wasn’t used to such sincere compliments… he just shook his head with a gummy smile.

One day, he asked you why you chose… journalism. That’s not something people like you usually go for, you know?

…Of course you liked books and fanfiction. You couldn’t get any cuter, could you?

“Don’t worry. Movies got me into acting, too.” He smiled.

...

You quickly began dating after that, as it was getting glaringly obvious that you two were quite smitten by each other…

And then, months into filming, Marble Hornets was canceled. You understood… Alex was getting so uncooperative… and behaving in strange ways. Tim, too, was falling apart at the seams, but you don’t know whether that had something to do with Alex or whether they struggled independent from each other. Either way, it didn’t matter to you. You were sad to see your friends suffer, which prompted you and Brian to hang around Tim more often. Jay and Sarah mostly tended to Alex whenever they could.

For months, you didn’t know what was going on – neither did your boyfriend. He insisted on taking his best friend outside, but Timothy would only look around in absolute fear… and he seemed to have developed a phobia concerning particularly tall trees.

And while Brian and you were growing closer together with every moment, him and Tim would drift further apart – and that hurt to see, especially because your partner would chase him like a kicked puppy and try to lift him back up… only to come to you after every failed attempt and tell you all about it as you fingered his short hair and scratched his scalp to sooth him while some random episodes of The Office were blaring from the TV in the background.

And you think you haven’t seen Alex in two months. You really hope that he was doing better…

One day, Jay came to you specifically. It’d been a year since Marble Hornets was officially canceled and yet nobody knew why… but Jay promised answers.

You turned around, eyeing your sleeping boyfriend resting on your sofa, eyes closed and breathing steady…

“Don’t tell him. He’ll flip out!” Jay shushed before dragging you outside your dorm.

You yelped, quickly grabbing your keys and a jacket and followed him outside. He had multiple tapes stashed away in his backpack.

“Where did you get these?” you asked, but only received a shrug. He didn’t know… which was odd… there was no lie or malice in his words though, which made you trust him.

“You’ve breezed through investigative journalism and aced every class, didn’t you? I just want you to help me with this, please… I think… Alex has been going through it.”

“Tim, too…” You added in a whisper.

“Tim, too? I haven’t even watched all of them yet… and I think Alex is still filming. Or some other guy is… Don’t know that yet, I only backed all these video files up on a Youtube account. Want to help me get to the bottom of this?”

...How could you refuse?

It took you and Jay at least two months to put the tapes into a logical, chronological order… they weren’t dated or anything and his uploads were wildly mismatched with your guys’ looks, but after you two had figured out a vague timeline and saw Alex’s descend into madness unfold in front of your very eyes, the tapes changed from your director being the subject of the films to… someone else.

And as you progressed with your research, Jay drastically changed. Seemed dazed. Was bruised everywhere – wouldn’t tell you who or what hurt him so bad.

That… as sad as it sounded, wasn’t your priority. Brian was spiraling and you were desperate to keep him afloat.

“Brian… you need to eat, please… I made you your favorite… please?”

“Brian, hey! HEY! Listen to me! Don’t faint! ….Yeah, it’s me. I thought you were gone for a second there. Your eyes rolled back… that was so scary. Please, you need to see a doctor…”

It escalated on one day when he, completely enraged, picked you up and let you dangle in the air like a wet sack (when did he become so freakishly strong?) and screamed at you to answer what pills you were taking… after you’d just washed down your birth control with a glass of water.

He was really… different. And his grip hurt. You weakly tried pushing him away, but this was basically a stranger.

“What pills are you talking about? This… this is the pill, Brian. You know, so I don’t get fucking pregnant? What the fuck is wrong with you?” You didn’t even care that you snarled at him and banged your fist against his chest. “You’re hurting me!”

Brian let go of you as if your touch burned him and then closed the blinds that let daylight into the room. He was so pale that he might as well have seen a ghost.

“I’m so sorry…” he muttered, shame in his voice.

Who was this guy?

One day, he just vanished into thin air. Jay did, too. You saw Tim around, but he was acting highly suspicious when you spotted him – he literally ran away. You tried asking around for Brian, but nobody knew what had been happening recently. Sarah hasn’t seen Alex in six months, didn’t keep in touch with Tim at all… What was happening?!

You called his parents, but didn’t get a response.

One day missing turned into a week. Then you filed a report on his disappearance, but the cops didn’t help you one bit because Brian was an adult and you were just casually boyfriend and girlfriend, insinuating that you had no business in asking about his whereabouts. They probably thought you were a stalker or something. Useless!

You contacted various newspapers and wrote a little piece asking the public for help, but nobody called.

A week turned into two weeks.

That’s when you noticed… someone was… repeatedly letting himself in into your dorm. You had a sick feeling that you knew your secretive visitor… after all, who in their right mind would grab food and Brian’s clothes and not the money you left out on the coffee table after feeling like you were being watched one night?

After all, who would kiss you sweetly, muttering a goodbye – not knowing that you couldn’t even sleep these days.

Two weeks turned into three weeks.

...Brian broke into your dorm again. You heard him. You weren’t going crazy.

You were about to stop pretending you were asleep and confront him… until…

“You know, you can’t keep switching these pills forever. You need them, too! Look at what “he’s” done to you. Besides, how will you get her to take them if she decides to stop taking birth control?”…Tim?

“Hello? Who’s there?!” You shouted, hearing more ruckus erupt from your bathroom.

“Shit!”

Nobody was there… but you swore that… you could swear that…

You booked an appointment with a psychologist the next day. And you threw your entire medicine cabinet away.

Big mistake.

Three weeks turned into three months and you weren’t doing well. You had to put your studies on hold because you were dealing with so many health complications that no doctor was able to figure out…

You were getting photophobic, your head was pounding, it felt as if you were constantly having mini heart attacks… and you couldn’t remember what you did as soon as you stopped doing it.

And these nightmares just wouldn’t stop. Alex shooting Jay, Tim almost burning to death… but no Brian. Was your subconscious telling you that he was already dead? That there was no point in looking for any of them anymore…?

You remembered Jay’s YouTube account… but… why were there so many clips uploaded? The last time you checked, you went through all of Alex’s stash… but… creepy. Who was this masked guy? And… was the tall man always in the background of these shots? Huh… you never noticed, to be honest.

Despite your sickness, you spent the entire night watching all of the new videos… and you didn’t understand anything. They had no cohesiveness, seemed to be filmed by multiple people… and you swear that one of them was… no, no it can’t be.

“Brian?” You whispered to yourself, but immediately passed out when you wanted to call the police.

Three months turned into four months missing.

You were seeing things. Someone was constantly in your head… no… yes? You were getting weaker… you might actually be dying. Soon you will have your breaking point… maybe you need to institutionalize yourself…

Then… someone called your name. Brian?! He’s home!

“No. It’s me.”…Alex?

“You’re alive?”

“Unfortunately.” He replied coldly. “Don’t take it personally.”

…?

You can’t really remember much… just the faint feeling of Alex’s hands around your neck, squeezing until your face turned blue. You didn’t even stand a chance… you were too weak to live, let alone fight someone of his stature.

Until you could breathe again!

In and out, in and out – deep breath in, deep breath out – in, out, in, out…

You slowly regained your vision, your throat burning so much that you couldn’t speak.

One of your windows shattered… you dragged yourself out of bed and looked outside.

Alex and… no, no! No, it can’t be.

Why was he wearing a mask?

“Stop! You’re… you’re killing him, Brian. He’s our friend. Alex is a friend…” You slurred, cutting your arms as you accidentally hit the sharp glass. You hissed at the injury.

The masked man wearing uncannily familiar clothing didn’t respond.

He did run away though.

Leaving Alex to die…

“No…” You whined, “Alex… was a friend…”

You went outside. It was night. You hadn’t even noticed…

You gave Alex CPR… and he started breathing again… but you felt a tap on your shoulder when you cried into your would-be murderer’s chest, relieved that he lived. Your mind didn’t even process what he’d tried to do to you…

You turned around and… there was this masked man again. You couldn’t see his face… but you knew. You just knew.

“I love you, Brian. You know that, don’t you? Please don’t go. We can figure this out. It was self defense! And you both live… that’s good… you won’t go to jail, just come back, please.”

The masked man just handed you another bottle of unlabeled pills before running off into the night, not saying a single word.

[wanderingaldecaldo]

In the neverending chain of tags, I was tagged by:

@streetkid-named-desire @ouroboros-hideout @aggravateddurian @luvwich

@ghostoffuturespast @sofia-in-nc @gloryride

Retagging everyone above and also:

@corpo-cunt-couture @breezypunk @rosapexa @olath124 @theviridianbunny

@medtech-mara @fereldanwench @thelonestrider @togepies

Modding

Jeans & Chaps

You might have already seen my latest WIP: VG's bulge highlighted by chaps. I am very invested in Rat's vaquero AU for VG (I don't feel the need to bully him there, what?) and getting garment support working meant I needed to go back to the player jeans and update them with GS.

Tony showing off Ms. Flowers's Valentino jeans with the chaps

Last night I spent time learning how to use the Bulge Detector with Dynamic AXL and I got it working! I also learned something really cool about GS while I was doing it, and I haven't seen it mentioned elsewhere.

Clockwise from top left: the "no-bulge" mesh I added for testing showing without GS; both bulge and no-bulge rendering with GS; the "no-bulge" mesh with GS; the bulge mesh with GS.

I want to write up a tutorial on using the bulge detector with Dynamic AXL because it's very different from the existing tutorial, but also Dynamic just makes life easier. I plan on adding a bulge to the flat chest version of the swimsuit I'm working on, so I will write something up then. (WIP list just doesn't get shorter, does it?)

Retro Bathing Suit

Breezy's/@breezypunk summer props got me in the mood for a cute bathing suit, and I found this mesh for a whopping $2! Refits are in progress!

Modding & VP: Pride Edition

Why so blue, Carol? Thanks to Heather/@togepies for the cute pride tee logo!!

I've been wanting to give Carol some custom clothes so she and Hilary can go on dates, but this lady has got some BOOBS. Everything has to be refit for her because she doesn't have a separate chest component that I can hide, just one giant uniboob/upper body submesh. Oh Carol, I know your pain.

Expect to see her (and everyone else) rocking Pride wear soon!

What about you? What are you working on?

Even if I didn't tag you, you can tag me! I love to see what everyone's up to!

[cinamun]

There is a pop-psychology concept called the relationship escalator that represents how we are socialised to view how intimate relationships should go, dating to engagement to marriage to kids etc. And while it is fine and even comfortable for some (the majority, even?) to follow the script, it is very much not one size fits all.

But social pressure exists to follow the script, and anyone who deviates is harshly scrutinised and will be covertly (and frankly overtly - sometimes violently) pressured to conform. Often the strictest enforcers are people who on an individual level would have chosen another option had they known one was available, or those who deluded themselves into believing conforming would lead to an easier life even if it isn't what they really wanted aka misery loves company.

I’ll get to my point - though this story is fictional, there is an established path to happiness that reminiscent of the Relationship Escalator. Characters date, fall in love, fuck, get married and then have kids who will continue the cycle. Sometimes they even do it in the order they're supposed to😅

Even the arguably most subversive character in the story, my beloved Jerri, has hopped on the escalator and ultimately found happiness on it. But that doesn’t and shouldn’t mean that following that path is the only way to live a happy life (in fiction or in reality).

One thing about the way that Dira comes across is that she has always been herself, and she does things her way when she wants to, and not a moment sooner. So who’s to say she even wants to ‘settle down’ - ever? Does she need a reason for not wanting a long term relationship beyond the fact that she just doesn’t want one?

Now is it possible that Dira is a Lesbian or on the Aromantic spectrum? Of course anything is possible and I for one would love to see it as there is no reason to assume everyone is straight by default. But I can also appreciate the depiction of a (presumed) straight young woman living life on her own terms, and not allowing herself to be pressured into a committed monogamous (🤫) relationship just because it’s what she “should” do.

And maybe her desire to be non-committal is rooted in trauma. Maybe she does have some unpacking and healing to do before she is ‘ready’ to settle down with that firecracker from next door. I’m stirring, I do like Charlie, he seems like a good egg. Mostly. But to return to my point, trauma doesn't mean her autonomy should be dismissed.

Speaking of Chuck, there is a whole other conversation to be had about the line between being lead on and personal accountability but this ask is already an essay 😜

I’ll wrap this up by thanking you as always for giving me and everyone else something to think about with this story.

Thank you for leading with what you led with AND acknowledging that Dira and what she wants can be absolutely normal without being rooted in anything other than her desires. I think anyone who asserts Dira _MUST_ be lying to herself or that somehow how I've written her in a _FICTIONAL_ story is somehow wrong and immoral.

Because that's super frustrating but I mean, I get it. Anytime I write women in roles other than happy homemakers this happens.

And you're welcome! Its important dialogue to have and a reminder that if anyone is looking for the happy love story here you're not ever going to get it. You didn't get it with Indya, you didn't get it with Hope and you're not getting it with Dira (you in the general sense like how I say y'all lmfao just so we're clear!)

ANYWAY *gulps coffee* this is a refreshing take an old idea about how women should behave. I hope you get an unexpected settlement check from a class action you never knew you were apart of today.

[commsroom]

happy birthday! ive been meaning to ask for a while if you have any spare minkowski thoughts, just in general. if not, are there any other characters in w359 that you see as trans or queer?

thank you!! sorry for not getting to this one on my birthday; i've been trying to come up with some minkowski thoughts for you, but i'm not sure if they'll be new!! one of my favorite things about minkowski is how much she really, truly has "guilty pleasures" in the most typical sense. when emma sherr-ziarko said the track name "minkowski watching 50 shades of gray with a tub of ice cream and enjoying it nonironically" informed her perception of the character, etc. i love that. all of the best characters are self-contradicting in very real and human ways, and minkowski has a ton of that. her love of musical theater gives us such insight into her interior world; she treats so much of her life like these separate, practiced "roles" to play, as if there can be clear divisions between them.

minkowski is a great leader, but she's not a natural leader, and - in fact - everything that does ultimately make her a person worth following is completely at odds with how she tries to lead, or how she thinks it's supposed to be done. i think she was in a dozen different clubs in high school, but didn't really have friends. i think she could get really into historical reenactment (and i would love for eiffel, hera, and minkowski to go to a ren faire - i think they'd all enjoy that, but for very different reasons.) i think minkowski earnestly believes in the concept of a "cheat day" and marks when she allows herself to eat a whole bunch of ice cream on her calendar - this is horrifying to eiffel, but she finds it sincerely motivating. i think minkowski's interior decorating sense is at least 30% more "live, laugh, love" than anyone else around her would be able to take seriously. she's the kind of person who needs everything in her house properly labelled and put away in the same place every time. eiffel is the kind of person who leaves everything out, all over the place, and forgets it exists if someone puts it away. making them live together is hilarious. i think minkowski likes romcoms and hallmark christmas movies; she's easily moved by very sappy media, and very defensive / embarrassed about that. she's used to being mocked for her taste, and for how it goes against her image as a career military woman. i do not think hera would share her taste in movies at all, but minkowski + hera girls' night is very important to me.

what else... oh!! i've talked to my friend @hephaestuscrew a lot about minkowski's parents, and i agree with the assessment that they are probably... pretty laid back? like, the kind of people who encouraged her to be whatever she wanted to be - the pressure she puts on herself to make something of herself is the kind of person she is, and a message she got from the world at large more than her parents, i think. her dad's first name has an anglicized spelling as well, so i think there's something kind of... well, there's something that rings true about minkowski trying to hold onto these parts of her heritage that her parents aren't as concerned about. koudelka's a czech name; we don't know anything about him, but i wonder if maybe she made that connection with him at least partially because they were both american children of (at least one) eastern european parent(s) in paris. and her mother is french, she learned french before she learned english, but we don't really know if she spent time in france before that. there's a sense of displacement to that.

(as for the other part, well... i'm not sure! obviously jacobi is gay, and i would generally agree lovelace and maxwell are as well. i think eiffel is technically bi, but he's straight culture bi. i think it would be difficult to get minkowski to really examine her sexuality. whatever kepler's sexuality is, i think he's done his best to close himself off from any sincere desire. my thoughts on hera's sexuality would require a whole other post, but obviously i read her as trans. there isn't really anyone else i think of as trans, but that's not to say it's impossible - they're mostly military or military-adjacent people born in the 70s and 80s; by and large i think they're coming to these topics of identity from a different perspective from those of us on tumblr dot com. but i think doug eiffel is one of the most cis characters i can imagine.)

[corneater3000]

so humbled and honored to walk through this threshold into a deathworker and to deepen and expand my carework.

making the most difficult moments in life a little easier. being there for people. studying their wisdom. doing the hard work. the scary work. the painful work. bearing witness, holding space. this is sacred work. this is holy work. there is much to be done in this world. there is so much to learn in the process.

the greatest mystery as the greatest teacher. this body, this mind, this heart a forever student. i am so small and humbled in the midst of all of this. i don’t know who i will be on the other side of this apprenticeship. i don’t know who i will be years down the line having sat at the feet of death so very many times in gratitude. in grief.