#//Will edit as I go/come up with new ideas

[natsukishinomiyaswife]

𝓒𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓓𝓲𝓪𝓶𝓸𝓷𝓭: 𝓝𝓸𝓽 𝓐 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰

I originally wrote this for my OC, based on this video my friend Mah (@midnightmah07) sent me! I decided to make it a x Reader, so that everyone can enjoy it (and because I love this fic lol) but if you want to read the original, you can find it here! ♡ Enjoy! ♡

⋆ The Pop Music Club was sitting in their club room, eating snacks as they talked. They had a show coming up in a few weeks, and were debating on what to perform. There were certain songs they would always play, but this time they wanted to do something different, to really make the show stand out. Lilia suggested they try a new genre, while Kalim suggested they incorporate a new instrument. Cater didn’t really have any suggestions, scrolling through Magicam for inspiration. While scrolling he comes across a new post from you, a smile coming to his face as he likes it.

⋆ As he continues scrolling he comes across fan edits, dancing videos, comedy skits, memes. He was about to switch apps when he comes across a post, a girl gushing about how her partner wrote a song for her, as a surprise for her birthday. The post includes a short clip of them singing to her, the girl standing there in shock for a moment before looking like she could cry. In the comments everyone talked about how romantic it was, some saying how they wished they had a partner like that.

⋆ A sudden thought occurs to him, looking up from his phone and turning towards the others as he suggests, “Why don’t we try writing our own songs?” Kalim and Lilia look to each other for a moment before agreeing, the two of them excited at the idea of writing their own song. After eating a few more snacks and talking for a little bit longer, they go their separate ways, each of them needing to have a song written for their next club meeting.

⋆ Cater stretched in his desk chair, sighing. He had been staring at his computer for a few hours now, a blank word document in front of him. He kept thinking and trying yet a song just wouldn’t come to him, getting up from his chair. He grabs his phone and earbuds before moving to lay on his bed, needing a break. He scrolls through Magicam as he listens to music, liking and sharing certain posts. He sees a post from the bakery in the village near Night Raven, announcing new items they would be adding to their menu soon. One of the items is a dessert that seems to be trending right now, everyone talking about how good it is.

⋆ He smiles as his mind immediately goes to you, knowing how much you like sweets. Without thinking he shares the post with you, sending another message right after that asking if you’d like to go with him when the bakery debuts their new desserts. It takes a few minutes before you respond, but your reaction was what he expected, telling him you would love to go with him and how excited you were to try the desserts. Your message had a mix of heart emojis throughout it, something you always did. Their was one particular heart emoji you seemed to use more than the others, Cater putting it next to your name in his phone. He did it because the heart emoji reminded him of you, that’s all. There was no other reason. (At least, that’s what he keeps telling himself)

⋆ It’s a few days later when the bakery debuts their new desserts, Cater waking up early knowing how busy they will be. You were already waiting for him outside campus, standing at the entrance gates. You were dressed more casually than usual, no longer wearing the uniform he was used to. He couldn’t help but stare, thinking how good you looked. You ran over to him as soon as you noticed him, thanking him again for inviting you. Cater wasn’t paying attention as you continued to talk, eyes focused on your mouth. There was just something about that lip balm you wore that he was drawn to, tempting him. It makes him want to…

⋆ He shakes his head, stopping himself from continuing that thought. You made your way to the bakery, talking and laughing as you walked. As you pass by a house Cater catches a glimpse of your reflection in the window, the sight almost making him stop. He never thought about how you held hands whenever you go somewhere, enjoying having you close. But seeing your reflection, your hands linked together as you talked, he couldn’t help but think…

We look like a couple

⋆ It doesn’t help that others would mistake you as such, strangers calling you his partner or his dorm mates telling him to enjoy his “date”. Trey had even complimented his appearance that morning, asking him what he was dressed up for. They’re wrong, Cater thinks. We’re just friends. Yet, the idea of you being “just friends” hurt, Cater choosing not to linger on it.

⋆ There was already a line when you got to the bakery, having to wait around fifteen minutes before you could enter. Cater’s attention was drawn to the dessert that was trending, ordering it to take a picture for his Magicam. You went to order one as well before Cater stopped you, reminding you that you could just eat his. You laughed, saying you forgot and thanking him. Once he got the dessert you went to sit outside, not wanting to stay in with how packed it was.

⋆ It was a nice day out, the table he chose giving you a nice view. Cater took the dessert out of it’s container, setting it up so that it looked good. He used the natural lighting to help take his photo, immediately uploading it to Magicam. When he looked up from his phone he noticed you sitting across from him, eyeing the dessert eagerly. His heart raced as he told you he just needed to take one more photo before you could dig in, focusing on you rather than the dessert as he took it. As soon as he said you could eat it, you started digging in, looking happy due to how good it was.

⋆ You stayed there for a while, Cater scrolling through his phone as you ate, talking and laughing in between. Whenever Cater saw a video or a meme he knew you would like, he would hold his phone out to you, watching as you tried not to choke on the dessert while laughing. Before you went your separate ways Cater gave you a hug, thanking you for coming with him. You hugged him back, telling him that you should be the one thanking him, considering he paid for the dessert. You promise to treat him next time as you wave goodbye, Cater watching you go before heading back to Heartslabyul.

⋆ As soon as he got back Ace was there, a teasing grin on his face as he asked how his “date” went. Cater gave him a look, used to his behavior as he tells him it wasn’t a date. After a moment he goes on, letting him know he had a good time, and that the dessert seems to be worth the hype. He heads to his room, running into Deuce along the way. He too asks how his “date” went, though his question seemed more genuine, Cater not having the heart to correct him. He breathes a sigh of relief once he’s inside, immediately laying in his bed.

⋆ He did his best to relax, mind racing as he pulled up the picture he took of you earlier. It had turned out better than he thought, your eyes lit up as you looked at the dessert on the table. You looked almost like you were glowing with how the sun hit your face, your hands clapped together in excitement. You looked so happy, so cute. He had to resist the urge to make it his phone background, shaking his head. He sat his phone on his chest, holding his arm over his eyes. He just needed to calm down, everything would be alright. You guys were friends, you were only hanging out. You weren’t dating, you weren’t his partner, he wasn’t…

He wasn’t…

“I’m not in love with them” he mutters to himself, though his racing heart wants to prove him wrong.

⋆ It’s in this moment that he realizes what he wants his song to be about, slowly getting up and moving to his desk. He writes what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling, using it as inspiration. After having to edit and rewrite it a few times he was finally happy with it, realizing how late it was when he checked his phone.

⋆ At their next club meeting Cater bursts into the club room, presenting the song he had written. Lilia gave him a knowing look as he read the lyrics, Kalim complimenting him on how good it was. After talking some more and discussing the songs Lilia and Kalim had written, they decided to perform the song Cater wrote, with him singing the lead vocals. As it got closer to their show date they began advertising it, posting on their socials and putting up flyers around campus. You even made a post on your Magicam about it, encouraging anyone who could to attend. You texted Cater the night before the show, telling him how excited you were, and wishing them good luck. He tried not to think about how it made his heart skip a beat.

⋆ The night of their show the Pop Music Club was buzzing with excitement, a fairly large crowd coming to see them. As they went on stage Cater’s eyes were drawn towards the front, right where you stood in the crowd. You waved at him, mouthing good luck as he gave you a small wave back. They did their usual introduction, playing some of the songs they were known for before playing the one Cater wrote near the end. He did his best to focus on different parts of the crowd as he sang, but he couldn’t help how he would always go back to you, locking eyes with you more than once.

You’re always on my mind I think about you all the time Um, no Let’s not talk about it Drama, we can live without it Catch a wave if we’re bored There’s a clock we’ll ignore Find a way around it Hey, I can tell there’s something Even when you say it’s nothing When you’re playing with your hair Like you just don’t care It’s a tell you’re bluffing Now please don’t take this the wrong way I love the things you do It’s how you do the things you love Well it’s not a love song, not a love song I love the way you get me But correct me If I’m wrong This is not a love song, not a love song I love the things you do It’s how you do the things you love The way you sing it, Put me through it I guess I always knew it (I always knew) I love the way you get me But correct me If I’m wrong This is not a love song (not a love song) Not a love song (I know it’s not a love song)

Bonus scene:

⋆ After their show the boys headed backstage, ecstatic by how well their performance had gone. Lilia turns to Cater, a knowing smile on his face as he informs him, “You do realize that was a love song you wrote, don’t you Cater?”

Cater stumbles for a moment, laughing awkwardly as he shakes his head. “It totally wasn’t! I don’t know where you got that idea from, Lilia!”

Lilia eyes shine with amusement at his response, asking, “Oh, really? Can I ask what the inspiration was for the song, then? Perhaps, you had someone in mind…?”

Cater was quiet after that, knowing his response wouldn’t help his case. He couldn’t say that he wrote the song thinking of you, after all. ♡

𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾! ♡

[wanderingblindly]

Hey bb!! For the WIP game!

Fuck it, we (don't) ball

Oopsies, fucked my boss

😋🫶

oh god, those are two that will probably get moved to my graveyard folder eventually ((when hell freezes over and I stop being so stubborn). But!!!

Fuck It, We (Don't) Ball:

This was actually meant to be another installment in my silly little Is It Gay Verse! Inspired by that interview in the offseason, when Oscar put together his fake basketball team and -- notably -- didn't include Lando. Snippet below the cut <3

“He’s cheating on me!” Lando gasps, looking down at his phone with comically wide eyes. He thrusts the phone in Daniel’s face, ignoring his closed eyes, and repeats it with more exaggerated emphasis: “My husband is cheating on me!” “Cheers to the happy couple,” Daniel mumbles, pulling the rim of his hat down lower and sinking further into the couch. “With Charles.” He says, shaking the phone where it continues to hang in the space between them. Daniel cracks an eye. “Actually?” “He can’t even play basketball!” Lando whines, tossing his phone onto the couch and hiding his face in his hands. There’s a moment of silence between them – Daniel’s eyes once again closed and Lando peering through his fingers. “You’re s’posed to comfort me, mate.” “I’m sorry your husband kicked you off his imaginary basketball team.” He says without enthusiasm, the words lazy in his semi-consciousness. Clearly Daniel isn’t going to play along – even though Lando is notably not playing. He’s peeved, the edits he saw of Oscar spinning a basketball on his finger suddenly in the back of his mind. The cute slideshow of him smiling through an interview, clearly equal parts uncomfortable and excited, feels like a distant memory. Oscar would put Charles on his basketball team over him? Alex and George? Fine, he can accept being short. Logan? Sure, Americans basically come out of the womb with a basketball, or something. Zhou? He seems confident, Lando can’t argue. But Charles?

Tbh I stll think the idea is cute, I might fiddle with it later....

Oopsies Fucked my Boss:

GOD I JUST WANT TO WRITE A FUCKING OFFICE AU SO BADLY WHY DO NONE OF MY OFFICE IDEAS PAN OUT!!! NONE OF THEM1!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! BITCH!!!!!

“He’s not even good at his job!” Max exclaims, slamming his half empty glass on the table – Lando watches the beer sloshes dangerously around the edges, holding back a wince. “We fucking went to Uni together! I’m the reason he even passed Tax! ‘It’s Mr. Leclerc, actually’,” He mocks a French accent with disdain. “Like, are you fucking kidding me?” “Maybe he doesn’t remember you?” Lando suggests light heartedly, hoping to move on from the subject before Max gets even more upse– “Obviously he fucking remembers me! We were,” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, lowering his voice to a low, harsh whisper. “We slept together, ok? I know he remembers.” Lando stares at him with wide eyes, mimicking his body language and leaning towards the center of the table. “Real shit?” He whispers back, earning an eye roll as Max sits up and downs the remainder of his beer in one go. “No. I’m joking about sleeping with my new fucking boss, obviously. Cheers, mate.”

(original post)

[emptywwwriting]

Morning Patrol

Paring: Jackson!Joel Miller x Fem! reader

Summary: It's your first patrol shift since you joined Jackson. When your friend, Jesse, calls out sick you have to go on the patrol alone with Joel Miller.

Warnings: Horrible Writing, HUGE age gap (33 years LOL), reader smokes cigs,  reader is also lowkey a horse girl (shut up), smut will be added, edited this @ 3am sry for mistakes lol, no use of y/n

A03 Link: Morning Patrol

Word Count: 3.8k omg...

First writing ever. I'm sorry if it sucks LOL. I wrote this because I’ve been replaying TLOU2 and it re-awoken my love for these characters.

Idk if I will make this a story or not, it depends on the feedback I get. Correct my grammar/spelling if you see anything wrong, feedback is much appreciated. Also, this is a no-Ellie AU not for any reason, in particular, I just didn’t know how to combine her storyline into this. Please read the warnings!!

It's freezing this time of year, cold frosted winds that are carried by the slopes of the mountains swirl the small town of Jackson, freezing everything over. Even the small wooden stove that usually warms your bones isn't cutting it. Yet you have to stop your eyes from fluttering close while you sit next to the open flame. With only your undergarments to cover you, you're balled up as small as possible sitting on the floor next to the heat. Your alarm had gone off 15 minutes ago, but you’d been procrastinating since. It’s your first patrol shift ever since Jackson took you in nearly 4 months ago. This idea was suggested, rather drunkenly, by Tommy at a bonfire just last week.

…

“It’s about time you start pulling your weight here,” Tommy mumbled with a beer resting on his lips, tilting his head towards you.

Your head snapped up to meet his gaze angrily.

Jesse had arranged a get-together by a bonfire following a town event, inviting Tommy, Joel, Dina, and a few other lookout guards. The hangout was calm, warm, and cozy, with everyone sitting around enjoying their drinks, sharing funny stories, and discussing unusual experiences. As a fairly new member of the town, you were unfamiliar with most of the people there. Jesse, who had played a key role in bringing you into Jackson, made sure to introduce you to Dina, with whom you had formed a close bond. She introduced you to the wonderful team of people who manage all of the horses that Jackson uses. Having grown up around animals, and having extensive knowledge of them, you felt right at home. 

However, not everyone was as friendly. Tommy, in particular, seemed to have a strong dislike for you. Ever since the night shift had found you, he had been suspicious of your presence in the town. Tommy constantly questioned you about your past, making you feel like a criminal rather than a newcomer just trying to fit in. While you understood the need for caution in a town as advanced as Jackson, Tommy's suspicions seemed to linger longer than necessary, this pissed you off. Despite your efforts to become a part of the community and form relationships with Jackson’s people, his distrust towards you made it difficult. You couldn't help but feel like an outsider, even when you are trying to enjoy a casual gathering. 

Jesse let out a cough next to you in an attempt to break the tension. Tommy’s brother, sitting next to him, didn't look away from his bottle, staring awkwardly into the brown glass. Jesse adjusted himself upright in his chair and began.

“I mean you can always come with us on a morning patrol shift… if you feel like it of course,” he added quickly, before staring into his own beer bottle.

You hummed in response. 

Still mad at Tommy, you shoot him another hidden glare before finishing your drink quickly.

“I think it would be a good start for you, hell of an early shift but usually a quiet one.” He looks over at you. “Just me and Joel now, another person couldn't hurt.” Jesse finishes.

Tommy's brother, Joel, grunts from across the fire agreeing.

You stare into the open flame thinking about his words.

“You up for it?” Jesse prods.

“Yeah, I'll do it.” You reply.

Tommy lets out a huff but you choose to ignore it. 

Still basking in the awkwardness from Tommy's comment, Dina and Jesse yawn and start collecting their stuff murmuring their goodbyes to the rest of the group surrounding the fire. Tommy and Joel stomp out the flames before falling into quiet conversation, as you follow Dina and Jesse towards the housing strip.

…

You finally force yourself to get up, the cold air wraps around your body as the stove's heat leaves your skin, you quickly get dressed. Sliding your thickest sweatshirt over your head and thick pants onto your legs. Stepping into your boots, you grab a beanie, gloves, and your backpack, making sure that your revolver is with you. After extinguishing the stove's flame, you exit your house and start down the quiet road.

You thought that things were quiet at night, they are even more quiet at four in the morning. Not a soul is awake at this hour, you've never seen the streets of Jackson so still. None of the town's Edison bulbs were on, only the occasional lamp that came from a house's window illuminated your path. Your mind wanders to the patrol, and you recall how just yesterday Jesse called out sick. A horrible stomach flu had torn its way through Jackson, particularly the school kids and teachers. Jesse got it after participating in a snowball fight with the school children, and Dina was now stuck taking care of him.  You had been sick with it nearly a week ago, the aftereffects still haunting your body. Your stomach gurgled with hunger, feeling as if it had sunk in. Chills racked your body at night, but you had no fever and could keep food down, sometimes. You didn't want to leave Joel to do the patrol alone, even though you know he could.

You have never talked with Joel before, just knew of him. His gruffness made itself apparent when he entered a room. He is a very respected man in the small town and it makes you feel like you know him to an extent. You have to admit that his large size and powerful aura make you slightly scared of him, yet it intrigues you even more. You often catch yourself staring at his aged and calloused hands gripping a beer bottle, or while cleaning his gun, and would have to force yourself to look away; But for such a strong and large man he was so quiet. It made you nervous to go on patrol with him. It's not that you dread the patrol itself, nor does it mean you don't want to be alone with him, but you dread the awkwardness of it.

You are both very quiet people, it's bound to get awkward. With someone chatty like Dina, you could rely on her for conversation for hours, and there would never be a dull moment. But with Joel? Who knows.

Finally, you arrive at the greenhouses which are next to the exit of Jackson. In the moonlit shadows, you see Joel, hand near his mouth, a lit cigarette between his fingers. The tip of the cigarette glowing red illuminating his face in an auburn glow. The sight makes your stomach flip, or maybe it's the virus. He catches your eye as you approach, now a few feet from him.

“Mornin.” He mumbles, voice groggy with sleep.

“Morning” You offer back sounding weak.

His peppered beard nearly sparkles in the dim light, his nose sculpting his face beautifully. Towering over you even at a distance.

Fuck he’s hot.

“We should head out a little early today so I have time to show you all our check-in spots,” He says after another puff.

“Sounds good to me!” You say eagerly, slightly embarrassed at your peppiness. 

He tosses the cigarette into the snow, before stepping on it with his boot, turning away from you and towards the gate. You're suddenly very thankful for Jesse's illness, given now you get to be alone with possibly the hottest man you have ever seen. 

Fumbling for the key he unlocks the gate, before having to open a set of precautionary doors, that you remember entering just a few months ago after night patrol found you nearly dead.

“Watch your step.” Joel throws back at you as you exit the final gate and start up a path of icy rocks.

“Got it.” You retort.

Looking up you can see the moonlit glow of the frozen rocks, a long path up into the cover of the forest. It's eerie, too quiet, and too steep. You would not know what to do without Joel here. Even though his presence puts your mind at ease, it's still terrifying while dark. You had almost forgotten what it's like to not be in Jackson. A whole year of struggling to survive on your own forgotten in a handful of months.

I’m spoiled. You think.

You know Jackson has spoiled you but it's not like you don't deserve it.

 The thoughts of your life before, outside the walls of Jackson, creep into your mind and you become nauseous.

“How long will we be out here?” You ask, trying to get your mind back to Joel.

“Well-” He sighs. “Depends on how many stragglers we have to get through. If the weather holds up and there's nothing out of the blue, the whole watch will be about 8 hours.” 

“Eight hours?” You repeat shocked.

“Yep, a whopping eight hours.” He says sarcastically. “Forget how you outbreak, kids never worked a normal job.” He chuckles to himself.

“I was born as soon as the outbreak started, I think that's hard enough.” You say smiling. He huffs.

“I’d take eight-hour shifts over an infection any day.” You smile.

“Yeah me too.” He replies.

It's quiet again and the awkward tension seeps back in making you more uneasy. The sound of his boots crunching the snow under him fills the air, and you're now closer to the woods. You follow Joel a few feet back, studying his frame while he can't see you. 

Why can’t you think of anything to say and why is he so quiet? You pray for Joel to say something, anything, and when he doesn't, you force yourself to talk.

“Do you like your shifts with Jesse?” 

“Jesse's good, a little woman crazy but he's fine. At least he's a good shot.” He lets out a huff.

“Yep, that sounds like Jesse.” you smile to yourself.

The conversation goes silent again and you begin to wonder if it's just this awkward in your head. The path evens out as you enter the brush, and Joel turns his flashlight on, illuminating the now even darker path. As the forest thickens the moon becomes less and less of a help, your eyes strain, trying to make out the terrain. 

Crunch Crunch Crunch

Focusing on the sounds of snow and wind you space out, now trying to ignore the awkwardness between you.

“How old did you say you were?” 

you didn't 

Joel asks awkwardly.

“Twenty-five.” You reply, 

“Jesus.” He says under his breath.

“How old did you say you were?” You ask playfully.

He laughs, seemingly embarrassed.

“Too old.” He says shortly.

You laugh and begin walking closer behind him. When finally in the complete cover of the woods Joel climbs up onto a large rock, one nearly bigger than you. After getting himself up right, he reaches a hand down to you. He looks majestic like this, so tall above you looking down with a rough and large hand extended. Even his thick wool coat can't fully conceal how large his biceps and chest are. You want to take a picture of him. 

Him saying your name, snaps you back into reality, grabbing his hand quickly, he hoists you up onto the rock. His powerful tug launches you faster than you expected. Your foot lands on a chunk of ice and you slip slightly before he holds you up with the hand he was holding. Dangling from his strong  grip you quickly try to find some kind of footing grunting in pain.

His other hand comes down to the collar of your clothing grabbing it and pulling you up. You reach for his arms for stability and take a breath before opening your eyes to look up at him. You're a mess, knees weak, one arm on his bicep the other on his flexed forearm staring up at him like a hurt puppy. You snap your head back down and release him, brushing yourself off. He slowly lets go of your jacket collar and hand before huffing out a chuckle

“Told you to be careful.” He beams down at you.

Your face is so red it's warming you in contrast to the freezing night air.

“Not my fault you flung me over the rock.” You laugh lightly looking down to hide your face. Not only were you red but you are trying to hide the grimaces you are making from the shooting pain in your ankle.

“Whatever you say darlin'.” He laughs.

And, oh that made your stomach do actual flips. You freeze as he starts down the path again, you're trying to comprehend the nickname, and why it sounded so good coming from his lips.

Darlin’....

 Shaking your head you follow after him promptly. The wind picks up and your hair starts whipping onto your already red cheeks. It is cold, and the wind makes you feel even more miserable. Joel's hair, which had only grown since you joined Jackson, moved in the crisp breeze, he seemed to notice the wind picking up, and he started walking faster.

“I think we are getting caught in a storm.” He says defeatedly, pushing forward into the dark night. 

Your heart drops as you push to keep up with the older man who is somehow faster than you, your ankle screaming at you to stop.

“Let's turn back.” You suggest sighing, you pause for a moment to take the weight off of your foot. 

This earns a quick,

“No, too far back, we are closer to the first check-in.” His voice becomes more strained as the terrain gets more steep and the wind picks up. You quickly start following after him again, in a limp.

“How much further?” 

“Half a mile.” Joel quips.

“Focus on the trail. The wind is getting stronger, we have supplies at the check-in and can camp out there until day shift comes.” 

His strong legs take large strides up the mountain. You continue to follow, the wind nearly knocking you over at some points. The gusts of icy air start picking up fallen snow, blurring everything in a cloud of white dust. Your ankle only seems to be feeling worse as each twist and turn gets harder and harder to trek. In a panic, you grab Joel's backpack so as not to lose him. He yells something at you about the path you think, but you can't hear, the wind is screaming in your ears too loudly. Your ankle feels warm. Twigs and branches snap, each making you jump, you slip only slightly, catching yourself before continuing hot on Joel's trail. Your knuckles are white from the grip you have on his bag. Frozen in place. 

Finally, you see the outline of a shed, Snow, and ice slinging into the side of it from the wind. You see the back of Joel's head raise as he spots the structure before his pace picks up even more and you're practically being dragged. Noticing this he blindly reaches back, taking hold of your forearm and dragging you to the front of him, his warm chest pressed against your back. The wind slams into him, blocking it from you. He pushes you slowly, now noticing your limp. Step by step you make your way to the wooden shed. You hear him breathing ruggedly in your ear, your gasp and breaths fill the air along with his. Finally at the door moving you to the side yet not taking his hands off you he opens the door and shoves you inside. The sound of whirling wind, snow, and branches snapping disappears outside of the dark room, muffling the chaos nearly completely. 

Joel puts a large wood plank in the shed's lock and takes a deep breath before turning to you. He looks you up and down.

“You okay? You slipped a few times pretty good back there.” He sighs trying to catch his breath.

“Yeah, I think I'm good.” You breathe deeply and try to think. “I twisted my ankle a little though.” You sigh.

Throwing down your heavy bag you plop down on the dirt floor next to it. You definitely did something more than twist it because the pain is radiating up into your knee, making it hard to hide your discomfort. 

Inside the shed is small, there's enough room for you, Joel, and a small stove with a plastic crate filled with what looked like ammo and food and first aid, underneath it. Joel looks down at you and you meet his gaze. The feeling of his chest against your back lingers on your skin and in your thoughts. You push your thighs together and look away, hoping he can't read your mind. He kneels in front of you grabbing your ankle suddenly.

“Shit!” You hiss trying to pull your leg back up to your body.

He takes hold of your leg again, this time underneath your knee. You move around trying to find a comfortable position.

“Stop squirming, I need to look at your ankle.”

As he wishes you hold as still as possible as he pulls your pant leg up and begins to untie your boot. Gently he slides off the shoe and pulls your sock off halfway. Unveiling your ankle beat red and swollen. Joel cringes at the sight of it and gently puts your leg back on the ground. Reaching behind himself he grabs the plastic tote and opens it looking for what you assume to be painkillers.

“It's really not that bad, I'll be okay, just need to lay off it for a bit.” You sound defeated.

“We have pain killers in here, you can-” 

You cut him off “I'm okay, and I'm not wasting Jacksons supplies.”

He looks at you, at your ankle, and then slowly up your body. 

“You're not going to be able to walk back down with that.” He says.

You go to disagree with him but you stop yourself because you know he's right, there's no way in hell.

“Im sorry, I-” 

“Not your fault.” He cuts you off and places the small crate at your legs for you to prop your foot on.

“I know I just- I feel like the town already doesn't like me, hell I know Tommy doesn't. And I just don't want to be a problem.”

“Tommy’s a paranoid old man,” He begins. “I love my brother but his suspicions get the best of him sometimes, he loves Jackson, and wants to keep it safe, don't take it personal kid.” His eyes show you his sincerity, and you look down, still ashamed.

He looks up at you saying nothing sympathy written across his face. He groans as he gets up from his knees now looking down at you, examining.

“I hope day shift brings up a horse. We gon’ have to carry you if not.” 

You cringe at the thought of the issues you're causing but know he's right.

“As for this storm,” He walks around the room and cracks the door open slightly before having to slam his body on it to get the wind to stop pouring through. 

“Yeah-” He breathes heavily, locking the door back. “That's gonna hold up for a while.” He puts his fingers on the bridge of his knows like he's trying to figure out what to do.

Joel then spends the next twenty minutes doing something you may call nesting. As you watch, you can sense the anxiety pouring off him. He paces back and forth, seemingly unable to calm down. While he doesn't say anything, the worried look on his face speaks for him. It's as if he's trying to distract himself from the nervousness that looks to be consuming him. He checks and double-checks the locked door, and starts a fire in the small stove, he meticulously tends to it. The pacing continues, with Joel occasionally glancing at the door, as if expecting the weather to magically change.

At this point you're lying on the ground head on a Joel’s pack, just staring into the fire.

“Jesus sit down Joel.” You finally tell him, getting tired just from watching him.

He pauses his pacing and looks at you as if he didn’t know he was even doing it. Mumbling an apology, he walks over to you and sits against the wall a foot or two from your head. You two sit in silence for a while, listening to the fire crackle what sticks were left in there, while the wind whistles through the small shed.

“You got any more of those cigarettes you had earlier?” You ask shyly, like you are doing something bad. You meet his gaze craning your neck up while he looks down confused and surprised.

“Didn't know you smoke” He huffs, reaching into the backpack under your head, he grabs a small white beat-up box and pulls from it, a neatly home-rolled cigarette.

You hum, admiring his strong hands digging through the box.

“Don't tell on me.” You smile looking at him sheepishly. He rolls his eyes before sticking the cigarette in his mouth and bringing a match to the end of it, lighting it and inhaling deeply. Taking it from his mouth he brings the cigarette to your lips until you open them, sticking it between them. Your stomach does cartwheels as he focuses on your lips wrapped around the smoke. Inhaling deeply you lock eyes, staring back into his. He takes the cigarette in front you and lets it rest in his hand as you both exhale.

“How long until they come for us?” You sigh after gently taking the cigarette from Joel’s hand and sticking it in your mouth again.

“Day shift starts at 1:30, and it’s still dark out,” He takes the smoke from you and takes a drag before exhaling.

“So we still have a while sweetie.”

You hide the smile that forces its way to your face by adjusting your body so that your head is now closer to his thigh.

You both take turns puffing on the cigarette until it gets too short to hold, Joel tosses it into the stove, and wipes his hands on his pants. You however are plotting on how to get closer to him. Too shy to say anything, but too desperate to not be closer you casually scoot up more and place your head on his thigh before turning away from him, pretending to get comfy. He gets stiff at this and you get nervous.

shit was that too much?

Frozen in fear you listen and wait. Slowly he relaxes and you hear his head thump against the wall. You let a breath out you didn’t know you were holding, and begin to relax. It was nearly 15 minutes later when you started to hear a small grumble coming from the man under you, he was snoring. You smiled to yourself, proud that you had managed to lay on him and not weird him out, maybe he likes it as much as you do. When he wakes up you'll think about testing your luck again, for now though, you need to rest. Closing your eyes you drift to sleep on his thigh, thinking about his hands all over you.

[pensbridge]

This is a thought I had before that I'm rethinking a bit since they decided to drop the trailer yesterday (bless! Oops buried this in my drafts and never got around to finishing til now)

Warning: Long post! (I'm sorry or you're welcome)

I've been trying to stay away from spoilers, so I could be totally off base here, but

Thinking about how Colin will react to Whistledown

I've already talked about Colin having to be needed, but surely there will be layers...

Colin has that line in ep. 1, where he talks about ruining LW and how she ruined his family, yeah after she rips him a new one in the paper - it's a clear deflection. This was never going to be about Marina, or his family. This is about Penelope seeing through the very real facade of Colin, and the fact that he'll believe she thinks those things of him. Because he's insecure if he'll be good enough for her. He needs to be needed, but also I assume Colin will be hurt at the deceit and mindblown at what it means when he puts the pieces together. Replaying certain moments/events, as well as oh, that's why that was so weird. moments that make him feel pain about the sincerity of their romantic relationship right ahead of their nuptials. Because up until the carriage, Colin thought Penelope couldn't see through him. That him trying to be someone else was working. That he was concealing his obvious feelings well. (And he was right; when Penelope "is this a ploy for attention" Whistledown couldn't see him foaming at the mouth and about to pass out on dance floors to know that something had changed.) The carriage was his moment of admission to everything he's been hiding from himself. And she's Whistledown! She's the one who first pointed out those things about him. She even said "does Mr. Bridgerton even know, himself?". He is going to be hurt for what he perceives is her looking down on him. He is going to feel betrayed, because it will seem like a joke he wasn't in on about himself. He's probably going to cry from that, because it will all feel unreal (maybe even like their relationship is fake and she was playing him; he's still insecure about how he's perceived and fearful of getting hurt, especially with Penelope). And the carriage will probably feel meaningless to what he believes her to view it as. like: "what do you mean you saw me pretending all this time for weeks?" Colin was on a different timeline in his feelings and when they sprung into action, they really sprung to all feel like it happened all at once for him. For Colin, it was like they spent all this time together now, he saw her for who she really is - to be less concerned for how she appears to him - and it was like something had really changed between them. And then, to know that Penelope's got an inside edition to how exactly he is maybe feeling, before he fully knows himself.. It's like he gave a full speech on that part of himself (how he portrays himself), and she already had an idea!

It's a complicated scenario, because on one hand there's this conflict between them of the secrecy and certain level of deception (Penelope having this information he's unaware to when they're supposed to be getting married), but on the other side of it Penelope sees him and knows him better than he knows himself (and I don't even think she's aware of it) - it's really the soulmatism aspect of them.

But the carriage won't be ruined. Because Colin and Pen at the core are meant to fall for each other due to seeing the sum of all their parts. Colin now sees Pen, which as I was saying before was not possible without Penelope dropping her crush veil and acting unnaturally around him. Like, right now, he's sure he loves her, because the pieces clicked in the past few weeks. Pieces clicked that he's not even fully aware how or why they come together, and there's a subconscious feeling to the things that can't be explained. I mean, when he goes to see Penelope outside her house and she's like "Whistledown did not want to seem suspicious;" (girl, wtf ), that's a piece to Penelope that he doesn't have the answers to, but he senses. It's all going to make sense once he has time to process and be privy to the hidden pieces of why they are compatible. But, sometimes things just fall perfectly into place without the why.

And he still doesn't know about her feelings prior to the carriage. Like, he thinks, "we both got closer over the past few weeks and we fell for each other through that" (he knows Penelope has always been a constant and that his feelings go back far deeper although he can't pinpoint an exact moment, but up until she reveals it, he's not gonna think she feels that (he probably thought they both fell through the kiss); like they were just good friends and somehow those moments in the past weeks have awakened something in them that neither has realized until this moment).

But that obviously won't last for long. Same as a fight (most likely) won't extend into this long drawn out thing of actual opposition.

And back to the Marina vs Pen debate, the answer to the difference is as simple as this: he didn't love her; he loves Pen! There's nothing more complicated about it; it wasn't real and that goes beyond just the willing deceit of Marina. I could talk about the rose- colored glasses romance/love idealization trope and how that's important to the development (*cough how the change to the show makes sense*), but the crowd isn't ready for that. [I love Marina, therefore her slander will not be allowed here]. But I'll just say the illusion of someone vs knowing someone is going to be the biggest difference [and the greatest catalyst (more on that later)] for how this plays out. Despite not knowing the Whistledown secret, Colin knows Penelope.

It's funny how similar they really are. They're both over-romanticizers. They're idealistic and they both idealized someone and had the pedestal knocked down. We already saw Pen's moment for this, the vital poor declaration moment at the ball. Now, I'm thinking Colin is going to have to battle this idea. He loves her, we know this! We also know that Colin can be impulsive for all of it's good and bad qualities. He is going to have to fight this idea where he acts towards his deepest insecurities. He's sitting outside the bedroom, so it looks promising (lol)! He's angry, but he's ruminating and he's internalizing all of that confusion and fear (I know they'll fight ofc, but for the little moments like that..). He thinks love is a thunderbolt in the sky, not that he fell for her like that, but that love is grand, fairytale-ish; he is a true romantic. His proposal shows as much for his his gestures of grandiosity. He's over the moon about the engagement and he's in a happy bubble after the swift timeline of the realization of their feelings. He'll have to break this idea. Because Colin didn't know love before Penelope. In the conflict of the Whistledown reveal, he'll see that love isn't always this gradiose thing. But that it's moments, being fully understanding of one another, wanting the person, seeing them, and (very important for his development) having them see you. Because that's what REAL love is. He'll actually see the real her and the full picture. Thus, we can actually get the real love confession where he says it. His perfect love idea will be shattered, but the end point will be sweet and more worthwhile than actually not knowing someone. They'll have a deep, dork bond, full love connection for life!

[princess-glassred]

Imagine if in the 1990's version of IT, when Richie walked into the library, instead of instantly seeing Pennywise, he looked down a specific aisle of books and remembered his own version of the arcade scene?

It was a saturday, and Richie was checking out comic books at the library since he was bored and almost all his other friends were busy. He pilfered through the bottom shelf for a while, until another boy just around his age walked over and started searching for comics too.

He's a really good lookin kid, dressed in baggy overalls and a sweater with the most gorgeous slicked back blonde hair he'd ever seen. And when Richie sees something amazing, well, he's gotta open his mouth and start talking.

He makes a joke, Richie is so flustered he cannot remember what the joke was but it gets this kid laughing and Richie is happy to have an audience that doesn't roll their eyes. They shake hands. "Richie Toziers the name, and doing voices is my game!" "Connor, Connor Bowers.".

The boys last name makes him take pause, but Richie laughs it off with another joke that gets them both giggling. He spots an issue of mad magzine in his hands and instantly launches into a big neurodivergent spiel about it, talking a mile a minute about his opinions and love for them while Connor stands and listens totally impressed.

They make more small talk until Connor breaks the news he has to go and Richie jokingly tells him not to let the door hit him on the way out, but just when Connor turns to leave, Richie is overcome with the urge to talk to him more, so he grabs him by the arm.

"Y-you know, I have a whole big comic collection at my house, first editions and stuff. Maybe sometime you could come over and see it... if you want.".

Connor seems interested in the idea at first, but some one turns the corner of the aisle and sees them: Henry, here to pick up his cousin. They are in a terribly compromising position right now, with Richie's hand on his arm like they've known each other for years, and Connor knows if he wants to avoid humiliation or worse he's gotta tell them kid off.

So, he jerks his arm away and yells "Get the hell off me! Are you a fuckin queer or something? Leave me alone.".. poor Richie doesn't even know how to process it, he's confused, offended, and deeply hurt, but he's not sure why. If it wasn't true why did it hurt so much? I mean, it wasn't true... right?

Connor turns to Henry and starts going on and on abour how this little fairy made a pass at him and is trying to get him to comeback to his house even after he told him no over and over again, and Henry gets fucking pissed. Richie attempts to talk his way out of it, but for the first time ever Richie doesn't have anything to say. What happens next is a total fucking blur to adult Richie, all he remembers is Henry pulling out his switch blade and grabbing him by the shirt collar. "I want you to get the fuck away from me and my cousin before i get down and show you what we do fags like you in Derry. You got it?" Henry says, and poor poor Richie can do nothing else but drop his books on the ground and comply.

So he runs, out of the library and out of adult Richie Toziers memory, leaving him to sit with his cup of water, badly shaken and ready as ever to run back home, just like he did all those years ago. And that's when Pennywise shows up.

[dutybcrne]

HSR verse Kaeya ideas:

Path of Nihility, Element Ice

Fell in stride with that path due to his depression after his conflict with Diluc and belief his fate due to his family's ties to the Abyss Order may be to bring his new homeworld's doom ( in part because of his Father's final words to him ), maintained in growing to find amusement in the impossible and working towards it regardless of the fact

Has every intention to try and defy his so-called fate even still, even knowing all that effort may be for naught in the end. But at least he would like to say he tried

Tends to help people on a whim, without desiring credit for his actions or if it may help them in the long run

His abilities sap the vitality of his enemies, but consume his own when he uses his strongest ability

Due to his family's contract with the Abyss Order, his lifespan is longer than most humanoids, spanning centuries. Though not quite that of a Xianzhou native, like them, his people do still face a terrible curse to become monsters after a time, like many of the Abyss Order.

He is glad his loved ones will never live to see him succumb to it. One way or another.

Though he also secretly harbors the strongest desire to force the Abyss's immortality on them to ensure they can stay with him, and face the same fate. He has to wonder if the slumbering monster in him is to blame for that, or his own attachments

[theygender]

What are you talking about. Exactly zero of these things are essentials

[roxyandelsewhere]

Angels’ trueforms in their most memorable moments [24/?] - Zachariah in 4x22 Lucifer rising

inprnt | society6 | redbubble | ko-fi

[astranauticus]

im back on my 'never shutting up about animatics i cant make' bullshit but like, orv and changgwi by ahn ye eun anyone

[lit-in-thy-heart]

one fic completed for merwaincelot week :D

[arthur-r]

tonight has been a weird night but it’s about to get better because i just happened upon a completely roget edition of rogets thesaurus and it’s being sold on ebay for ten dollars

[wooawi]

i deleted two wips i was regularly posting on ao3 a few years back, because i did not like where the stories were going and was too disappointed in myself to keep them going. they’re still sitting in my google docs today.

but while i was updating both fics, there were about 3 people who regularly commented on the works wanting to know what happened next and generally sharing their opinion. they gave me the motivation i needed to go as far as i did on both ideas. i feel terribly guilty for not leaving those works be and for deleting them with no prior notice.

i think about those 3 people very often

[voids-ideas]

Ok I am going to do this simply because the first thing I will put here I NEED to do it and I have 0 motivation to do it even though it is EXTREMELY important

In fact, I think that's the reason why I don't want to do it... anyway

If this gets to 30 notes, I do that thing ✅️

50 notes, I call to ask if my doctor's appointment has been scheduled (I've been avoiding it for two weeks now) ✅️

100 notes, I go wash my shoes that have long needed washing and are just sitting there, existing, waiting for me to deign to wash them. ✅️

200 notes, I finish organizing my room (I organized it halfway and then left a bunch of things that still don't have a defined place) ✅️

500 notes, I use the things I have to bleach and color my hair. The only thing that has stopped me is the fear of doing it wrong or being too lazy to maintain it. ✅️

1k notes, I stop doing things that I know will trigger my chronic pain with the pure intention of confirming that the pain was indeed real (don't do this. 0 recommended) ✅️

5k notes, I try some new food without fear of wasting money by buying something I most likely won't like (my autism hates new foods) ✅️

10k notes, I wear my bi flag earrings in front of someone I wouldn't usually wear them with. I trust that they possibly wouldn't have a problem with me being bi, but I would never get up the courage to tell them anything ✔️ (I haven't, but that person was in my room next to where the earrings are. They were 0% hidden) ✅️

20k notes, wtf I have absolutely no idea. If it comes to this, ehhh... Honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing here. Do I promise to be honest in therapy and stop telling them that everything is perfect even though nothing has ever been perfect? Yeah, that probably works. Please don't go this far, I don't know how to do this. Maybe I should... but... it would be awful to learn it

April 2024: I stop procrastinating editing this post with the things I've already done. I WANT THE HAIR SO MUCH BUT IT'S SO DIFFICULT

May 2024: Red hair, red hair, red hair. I'M CROWLEY, RED HAIR!!!!!

[burntoutdaydreamer]

Things That May Be Causing Your Writer's Block- and How to Beat Them

I don't like the term 'Writer's Block' - not because it isn't real, but because the term is so vague that it's useless. Hundreds of issues all get lumped together under this one umbrella, making writer's block seem like this all-powerful boogeyman that's impossible to beat. Worse yet, it leaves people giving and receiving advice that is completely ineffective because people often don't realize they're talking about entirely different issues.

In my experience, the key to beating writer's block is figuring out what the block even is, so I put together a list of Actual Reasons why you may be struggling to write:

(note that any case of writer's block is usually a mix of two or more)

Perfectionism (most common)

What it looks like:

You write one sentence and spend the next hour googling "synonyms for ___"

Write. Erase. Write. Rewrite. Erase.

Should I even start writing this scene when I haven't figured out this one specific detail yet?

I hate everything I write

Cringing while writing

My first draft must be perfect, or else I'm a terrible writer

Things that can help:

Give yourself permission to suck

Keep in mind that nothing you write is going to be perfect, especially your first draft

Think of writing your first/early drafts not as writing, but sketching out a loose foundation to build upon later

People write multiple drafts for a reason: write now, edit later

Stop googling synonyms and save that for editing

Write with a pen to reduce temptation to erase

Embrace leaving blank spaces in your writing when you can't think of the right word, name, or detail

It's okay if your writing sucks. We all suck at some point. Embrace the growth mindset, and focus on getting words on a page

Lack of inspiration (easiest to fix)

What it looks like:

Head empty, no ideas

What do I even write about???

I don't have a plot, I just have an image

Want to write but no story to write

Things that can help:

Google writing prompts

If writing prompts aren't your thing, instead try thinking about what kind of tropes/genres/story elements you would like to try out

Instead of thinking about the story you would like to write, think about the story you would like to read, and write that

It's okay if you don't have a fully fleshed out story idea. Even if it's just an image or a line of dialogue, it's okay to write that. A story may or may not come out of it, but at least you got the creative juices flowing

Stop writing. Step away from your desk and let yourself naturally get inspired. Go for a walk, read a book, travel, play video games, research history, etc. Don't force ideas, but do open up your mind to them

If you're like me, world-building may come more naturally than plotting. Design the world first and let the story come later

Boredom/Understimulation (lost the flow)

What it looks like:

I know I should be writing but uugggghhhh I just can'tttttt

Writing words feels like pulling teeth

I started writing, but then I got bored/distracted

I enjoy the idea of writing, but the actual process makes me want to throw my laptop out the window

Things that can help:

Introduce stimulation: snacks, beverages, gum, music such as lo-fi, blankets, decorate your writing space, get a clickity-clackity keyboard, etc.

Add variety: write in a new location, try a new idea/different story for a day or so, switch up how you write (pen and paper vs. computer) or try voice recording or speech-to-text

Gamify writing: create an arbitrary challenge, such as trying to see how many words you can write in a set time and try to beat your high score

Find a writing buddy or join a writer's group

Give yourself a reward for every writing milestone, even if it's just writing a paragraph

Ask yourself whether this project you're working on is something you really want to be doing, and be honest with your answer

Intimidation/Procrastination (often related to perfectionism, but not always)

What it looks like:

I was feeling really motivated to write, but then I opened my laptop

I don't even know where to start

I love writing, but I can never seem to get started

I'll write tomorrow. I mean next week. Next month? Next month, I swear (doesn't write next month)

Can't find the time or energy

Unreasonable expectations (I should be able to write 10,000 words a day, right????)

Feeling discouraged and wondering why I'm even trying

Things that can help:

Follow the 2 min rule (or the 1 paragraph rule, which works better for me): whenever you sit down to write, tell yourself that you are only going to write for 2 minutes. If you feel like continuing once the 2 mins are up, go for it! Otherwise, stop. Force yourself to start but DO NOT force yourself to continue unless you feel like it. The more often you do this, the easier it will be to get started

Make getting started as easy as possible (i.e. minimize barriers: if getting up to get a notebook is stopping you from getting started, then write in the notes app of your phone)

Commit to a routine that will work for you. Baby steps are important here. Go with something that feels reasonable: every day, every other day, once a week, twice a week, and use cues to help you remember to start. If you chose a set time to write, just make sure that it's a time that feels natural to you- i.e. don't force yourself to writing at 9am every morning if you're not a morning person

Find a friend or a writing buddy you can trust and talk it out or share a piece of work you're proud of. Sometimes we just get a bit bogged down by criticism- either internal or external- and need a few words of encouragement

The Problem's Not You, It's Your Story (or Outline (or Process))

What it looks like:

I have no problems writing other scenes, it's just this scene

I started writing, but now I have no idea where I'm going

I don't think I'm doing this right

What's an outline?

Drowning in documents

This. Doesn't. Make. Sense. How do I get from this plot point to this one?!?!?! (this ColeyDoesThings quote lives in my head rent free cause BOY have I been there)

Things That Can Help:

Go back to the drawing board. Really try to get at the root of why a scene or story isn't working

A part of growing as a writer is learning when to kill your darlings. Sometimes you're trying to force an idea or scene that just doesn't work and you need to let it go

If you don't have an outline, write one

If you have an outline and it isn't working, rewrite it, or look up different ways to structure it

You may be trying to write as a pantser when you're really a plotter or vice versa. Experiment with different writing processes and see what feels most natural

Study story structures, starting with the three act structure. Even if you don't use them, you should know them

Check out Ellen Brock on YouTube. She's a professional novel editor who has a lot of advice on writing strategies for different types of writers

Also check out Savage Books on YouTube (another professional story editor) for advice on story structure and dialogue. Seriously, I cannot recommend this guy enough

Executive Dysfunction, Usually From ADHD/Autism

What it looks like:

Everything in boredom/understimulation

Everything in intimidation/procrastination

You have been diagnosed with and/or have symptoms of ADHD/Autism

Things that can help:

If you haven't already, seek a diagnosis or professional treatment

Hire an ADHD coach or other specialist that can help you work with your brain (I use Shimmer; feel free to DM me for a referral)

Seek out neurodiverse communities for advice and support

Try body doubling! There's lot's of free online body doubling websites out there for you to try. If social anxiety is a barrier, start out with writing streams such as katecavanaughwrites on Twitch

Be aware of any sensory barriers that may be getting in the way of you writing (such as an uncomfortable desk chair, harsh lighting, bad sounds)

And Lastly, Burnout, Depression, or Other Mental Illness

What it looks like:

You have symptoms of burnout or depression

Struggling with all things, not just writing

It's more than a lack of inspiration- the spark is just dead

Things that can help:

Forget writing for now. Focus on healing first.

Seek professional help

If you feel like it, use writing as a way to explore your feelings. It can take the form of journaling, poetry, an abstract reflection of your thoughts, narrative essays, or exploring what you're feeling through your fictional characters. The last two helped me rediscover my love of writing after I thought years of depression had killed it for good. Just don't force yourself to do so, and stop if it takes you to a darker place instead of feeling cathartic

[belabellissima]

wait i have a question that most definitely is not about me and my endless wips what are you talking about?

[1pepsiboy]

Falling Asleep on the Vlog - Matt Sturniolo Fluff (request)

Matt Sturniolo x reader!

Word count: 842

Warnings: nothing except caring boyfriend Matt

A/N: sometimes I go into these knowing how I want it to go and then it just goes a different direction... But I think that was for the better this time.

***

Chris and Nick are ahead of you and Matt as you all piled into the house. Nick held the camera as they continued to record. The four of you went to get the new baja blast flavor from Taco Bell. Mostly for Chris since it was his idea after he saw an ad for it. Of course, there was also a party box of tacos that came home too. 

It was a long day at work for you. There were so many (rude) customers that you dealt with, and you helped with unloading the inventory that arrived. You only agreed to leave the house because Matt had to drive and you didn’t want to be alone. Being in the vlog?… That you were even less thrilled about since you looked like an absolute disaster. And your mood was not particularly cheerful. 

But coming over to the house always played the game of are they recording now or no? Matt was usually pretty good about giving you a heads up. He forgot to do it this time, but you couldn’t put all the blame on him. It was just part of the deal with dating him and being around their work. 

You reach the top of the stairs and Matt carefully starts to lead you toward the kitchen. You let go of Matt and your lightly laced fingers. Immediately, he turns around with puppy dog eyes. The scruff he had actually somehow made it cuter and more heartbreaking. 

“Where are you going?” His voice was so soft and only loud enough for you to hear. 

“No where, just want to chill on the couch till you're done.” You shoot him a small smile. 

This only makes slight concern cross his face and he steps in closer to you. “Is everything okay?”

You kiss him on the cheek. “Yeah, work was a lot today and I’m just tired.” 

“What happened? Your manager didn’t shit on you again, did they?”

Up to this point, you had been putting up a smoke screen, holding it together for your boyfriend and his brothers so they could get content. Without warning for either of you, tears welled up and slipped down your cheeks. 

“I do s-so much… I put up with a lot from customers… no one asks i-if I’m okay.”

Matt engulfed you in a tight bear hug and stroked your hair. He whispered into your ear, “Sssh, babe. I am and always will.”

After what felt like minutes of Matt soothing you, rather than leaving you by yourself he talks to Nick and Chris over his shoulder. You tried not to listen too closely. You only focused on the peaceful rhythm of his heartbeat in his chest.

He let go of his warm hug and you couldn’t help whimpering. “Babe…”

“I’m sorry, I just gotta do this one part. I’ll be over right after, promise.” He kissed your temple and gestured to the couch. 

Reluctantly, you slipped into the background on the couch. It felt like they were talking about the new drink and whatever else for hours. Matt was constantly checking in on you, and it would be obvious to the fans that something was off. Hopefully Nick could magically edit out a majority of the off screen glances. 

The slight breakdown and lull of scrolling through your phone made your eyelids heavy. You managed to pull the closest blanket over you to curl up in. A little while after closing your eyes, you felt arms pick you up and then both of you lowered onto the couch again. 

“What?” you groaned, a light yawn escaping. “What’s going on?”

Matt giggled. “You fell asleep, babe.”

“Oh…” 

Your head fell on his shoulder as Matt’s arms wrapped around your body acting like a shield. Matt kissed the top of your forehead then he rested his head on top of yours. Your eyes immediately tug close again, it was hard to fight off the prickling sleep. 

“You guys are disgustingly cute,” Nick commented. 

Chris aimed the camera at the two of you. “Goodnight campers!”

“Ew.” Nick scrunched his nose. “No, that was reserved for the podcast only. Don’t do that.”

“Well, now that’s over, we should start using it in the vlogs,” Chris bartered. 

Nick shook his head. “Absolutely not.”

“What? Why not? Come on! They love it!”

Matt flipped them off. “Ssh! End the vlog over there. Please?”

Chris jutted out his bottom lip. “Aww, Nick, he said pwease.”

Nick rolled his eyes, but then babied, “Aren’t you such a good boyfriend, Matty? Cuddling with (y/n) and defending her from us.” He reached over to ruffle his hair. 

Matt swatted his hand away with one hand, attempting to not disturb you. “Yeah? This is why I’m the only one not single.” 

“Oh, I’m single by choice,” Nick threw back quickly. 

“Me too,” Chris agreed. 

Matt rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say.” 

You couldn’t help the smile that spread on your lips and you snuggled more into Matt, fueling more of the fire between them.