#just thankful for my heart and the fact that i am creating something meaningful | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ryuichirou · 1 month

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I’ll start with some news.

I am currently locked out of my twitter account. We did everything we could to try to get it back, but no matter what happens, it will most likely take some time.

I don’t like bringing attention to this kind of stuff because we have tons of other things to talk about which are more important than some toddlers trying to obliterate us for 1000th time (frankly I would rather talk about the colour of Leona’s butthole), but this time it’s kind of serious and important. We don’t know what’s going to happen next, but for now I wanted to say that if we won’t get the account back in time or will lose it indefinitely, we will have to ask for your help. I am sorry for that in advance.

Also, if you were discussing/working on commissions with me via DMs there, please email me or contact me via any other platform as soon as possible. Just in case.

Mass-reporting is wild, eh?

I am rambling a bit, and I didn’t really want to complain, because I know for a fact it would give satisfaction to some people, but you know? I am going to complain: it sucks ass. It happened at the worst time possible and it happened over nothing (literally, the art that got it was a Todd/Wallace non-sexual piece that got too many likes for children’s liking). I don’t care if people don’t like us, I don’t care if they gossip with their girlies about us, all I want is for them to leave us the fuck alone and let us do our thing in peace. Imagine being so unbelievably boring and so incredibly unlikeable and unable to make meaningful connections not only with other people but also with any kind of media that you just have to go out of your way to ruin things for others because this is the only thing that makes your immature brain produce something that even remotely resembles joy. Because your own pathetic self is so deeply insecure and constantly frustrated at yourself that you just have to create an illusion of control over someone else to feel important. I can’t even call it a troll behavior – at least trolls are funny sometimes. This is just someone who hit a midlife crisis at the age of 16 and made it my problem for some reason.

And yet, it’s okay. Even if we end up losing our account, it’ll be a huge disappointment and it will hurt us tremendously, it already did. And it’s scary to think about this scenario, and it’s difficult to talk about how, if it happens, that it’s going to be okay. But eventually we’ll get over it and build ourselves up again, just like we did before several times. And these clowns will still be boring, unlikeable, lonely and very likely shit at drawing.

So yeah. Take care of yourself and block everyone who seems suspicious on sight. It’s not a panacea, but certainly is helpful.

Alright, time to talk about Leona’s butthole (not really, but we will talk about SebeMal, and it’s even better) 💪

Anonymous asked:

Seeing Vanitas made me curious about something: did you ever read Pandora Hearts? I think for a lot of people that series went hand in hand with Black Butler as the main "victorian aesthetic mangas" from the late '00/early '10. Gothic lolitas really had it all back then..

Ohh you’re so right Anon, it was the ultimate late ‘00/early ’10 aesthetic! Boys in vests with bows/ties, crosses and rosaries and traumatic and problematic backstories lol I really miss it sometimes. What an era.

I personally haven’t read/watched Pandora Hearts, but Katsu did! But it was even before we met… So my only association with this title is that Katsu’s old username was “ozbezariusnya” 🥰 Oh, and that Gilbert (?) looks very cute, but let’s be honest, of course I would think he is cute.

nebula-ryuu asked:

Regarding my question, I mean if the Malleus and Sebek ship has a dynamic or a context 😅😅 a background or a story. I have a certain feeling about what it is like but I don't want to affirm anything hehe

I don't know if I made what I said better understood, in any case I can explain it again, no problem 🙏

Oh! Thank you for clarifying!

As for our background for shipping them, we just really really love loyal characters that are a bit unhinged about their loyalty and love/obsession. So we didn’t even have a choice, they stole our hearts… and Malleus is very interesting in his interactions with Sebek too; he is annoyed by him sometimes, but he tolerates a lot and teases him.

As for the ship itself, we tend to think that in addition to Sebek being loyal and obsessive with Malleus, he is also deeply in love with him ever since he was a child. He is conflicted because he really wants to be his lover, but also thinks that he isn’t worthy. Malleus is amused by Sebek and allows him to do much more than he probably should. Actually, I think I talked about their dynamic in this post!

I hope I understood you correctly. Thank you for your question! And if you have any more questions, please let me know.

Anonymous asked:

would Lilia and Azul ever fight over who gets to have Idia?

Replied here! Thank you for your question, Anon.

#replies

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tom-whore-dleston · 9 months

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Love Changed the Minds of Pretenders

Pairing ▹ Bucky Barnes x gn. reader

Word Count ▹ 1k

This fic contains ▹ angst, fluff, songfic, unestablished relationship, mentions of sex, mentions of Joaquin x reader, mutual ending of relationship, light beta reading (even though there are no explicit mentions of adult themes, I do not want minors or blank blogs interacting with this fic)

Summary ▹ Do you remember | The 21st night of September?

Notes ▹ I should be asleep right now because I have work at 7am but I just had a random burst of creativity and I needed to let it out. Anyways, this is my submission for @bucks-and-noble Summer Send Off. Thank you @buckets-and-trees and @sgt-seabass for creating this challenge and refueling my love for Bucky. And a special shoutout to the book club! I am so happy I met y'all and I am beyond grateful for the bond we have created 💖 Fun fact: This is my first ever Bucky fic woop woop!! Remember to reblog and comment if you enjoyed! 😊

Prompt ▹ use a lyric [from September by Earth Wind and Fire] as direct inspiration for a theme/idea

September 21, 2022. 10:02 pm.

The night you met Bucky Barnes.

Of all places, you met Bucky at a bar. The same bar where your friend performed their first live show and they invited you to watch. You weren’t expecting to meet anyone that night. Your heart had been broken only a few weeks prior.

Everyone thought: Was he a rebound? A distraction?

No. He was so much more than that. It could have been easy to feel that way fresh out of heartbreak. Even more so when outsiders were constantly questioning what you and Bucky really were. But there was clearly a reason Bucky showed up in your life after this period of hurting.

Bucky gave you love and security. He made you feel safe when he took you to the movies, when he made love to you, when you slept peacefully in his strong arms. You always thanked him for the things he did to make you feel secure and loved. He’d reply with his typical phrase, “I’m glad I make you feel that way.”

He welcomed you into his home, his life, and his heart after many years of keeping the door locked and the key tucked away. Waking up and stroking your face before pressing a kiss to your dry lips was something that made your love for him stronger. Then after an hour or so of getting tangled between the sheets, you both would jump in the shower, gently caressing one another with soapy hands. Breakfast with Bucky was another tender ritual that you cherished. Whether it was at 10 in the morning or 1 in the afternoon, you never skipped breakfast with him.

He challenged your negative thoughts and beliefs. You and Bucky would stay on the phone until 3 in the morning talking about the universe, aliens, and other conspiracy theories. The two of you would ponder on the purpose of your lives and the ways of the universe. One thing you both were certain about was that you wanted your lives to be fulfilling and meaningful. Your world expanded and bloomed with beauty and wonder because of him. You wanted to be better and so did he.

Bucky made you believe in love again. And you made Bucky believe in love again.

As the months passed, everything was splendid. Perfect, even. But with perfection, there’s always something lacking. Of course, you wouldn’t have seen what was lacking if it slapped you in the face.

After 10 months of dating Bucky, you finally revealed your love for him. Now, Bucky wasn’t the type to say it. Heck, he didn’t even say “I love you” to his sister unless she said it first. Yet that wasn’t a deal breaker because he expressed his love in other ways.

“I love you, too. I know your feelings for me are strong, but I don’t know if I can give you what you want.”

It was understandable. He did mention in the beginning that he wanted to casually date. You forgot that you wanted the same thing. Man that felt like such a long time ago. Time really does fly when you start to fall in love. And hard you fell.

You hid your disappointment by making more excuses as to why being committed to Bucky would not be in the cards. First, there was the long distance. Then, there was the uncertainty about both of your futures. For a couple that talked a lot about your ambitions, you both lacked the confidence in where you would go in life. As the list of reasons piled up, there was one that made your brain fuzzy and your heart swell.

That reason was Joaquin Torres.

You met Joaquin through your cousin. There was an instant attraction between the two of you yet neither of you pursued each other. If you had gone for Joaquin, you would not have created the world you had with Bucky. So when your feelings for Joaquin grew stronger than your feelings for Bucky, you knew you had to take action before someone got hurt.

Contrary to your belief, no one got hurt. You were transparent with Joaquin about your status with Bucky, and he understood. When you revealed to Bucky your feelings for Joaquin, he too understood.

“Listen, angel, I know you. You know what you want in your life and you don’t let anything get in the way of that. I do love you, but who am I to stand in the way of living the life you want. You’ve let people tell you how to live your life for so long and now it’s my turn to stop that cycle. If this is what you want, don’t let me stop you.”

You and Bucky shared beautiful memories over the 10 months of being together, but the words he said to you on August 8, 2023 will always be ingrained in your brain for the rest of your life. That night was the last time you spoke to him and saw his face, even though it was over a video call.

“I’m grateful for having you in my life,” you confessed to him, trying not to cry. You couldn’t figure out if it was because you were surprised this conversation went way better than you thought or because you were saying goodbye.

Bucky grinned, “No need to get all sappy on me, angel.” You shared a final laugh together. “Well, if you ever find yourself in the city, you know where to find me.”

Part of you wanted to make a joke about how you’d run into him at the bar where you met, but you stopped yourself. Instead, you replied:

“You got it, Buck.”

And that marked the end of you and Bucky.

You and Bucky’s love was never meant to fail. Yet it was never meant to succeed. Perhaps it was just meant to simply exist.

But who knows, maybe that fateful night in August was not the end. Only time could tell. That was the beauty of time and the universe. You can plan and make certain choices, but ultimately, the universe will lead you to where you’re meant to be.

Now, it’s September 21, 2023. No, Bucky is not in the picture, but your thoughts are with him.

Do you remember? Yes, you remember. You always will.

Navigation | Fanfic Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

#bnsummersendoff #bucky barnes #winter soldier #sebastian stan #tfatws #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier x you #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes oneshot #angst #fluff #reader insert #no y/n

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elytrafemme · 4 days

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hi, mare!!!! i have no idea if u remember me, lmao, i sent an ask back in february i think! (also i am so incredibly sorry for sending this in general but… anyway…)

but, i just wanted to say that you write so incredibly beautifully i actually cannot. i was just like, pacing around in my kitchen doing my maladaptive daydreaming shit when cough syrup came into my mind . specifically that one scene from chapter 28, when cs!ranboo says the sunset is pretty and cs!tubbo tells him he’s also pretty. and i genuinely teared up. that scene is always in the back of my mind it’s so insane. i think it might be something ill think about for a long time, even though i read it for the first time so long ago. i think it’s mainly the way you wrote it. “beside him, the sun says, “so are you.””

something about that like genuinely drives me insane (in a good way, i promise!). i just. it is so small and niche and mundane and probably shouldn’t matter this much but i am crying over it. and i am far from a crier, so if you’ve gotten me to cry over a single sentence you’ve done something incredibly right.

i don’t know if you’ve heard it a million times, or not at all, but you seriously have a way with writing. just so you know! because you definitely have to know!!!!

anyway… sorry for sending a cs ask, (also that it was very long) but!

thank you, once again, for writing this amazing piece. even if it never gets updated again, it’ll always be in my heart, i guarantee it lmao

have a good day/night/afternoon <3 (and to anyone reading this)

hi there! i thought i recognized your url somehow, it's nice of you to stop by again! i'm really terrible with answering asks but honestly you are always welcome in my askbox, i like to visualize it as a cosy space

this is such an incredibly meaningful ask to me, my God. i'm so unspeakably glad that you liked that scene and the fact that it stuck with you this long really makes my entire week, honestly. it was a scene i poured a lot of heart into, as i did those two characters in general, and i'm really really grateful that it was received in such a caring way. thank you for giving that scene space in your heart.

i really really appreciate it, thank you. i've been struggling with prose writing lately so hearing that my writing can stick with people means a lot to me. cough syrup feels sacred, like an untouchable thing i've created that i now can't touch after so long of being estranged from its writing, but hearing kind words makes me feel like i can touch it again.

it's a fic i intend to finish, though i realized a few weeks ago it may take me several years to. i've sadly lost all love for that segment of content that became its source- -with no judgement to those who appreciate it, it's just no longer part of my heart (aside from my friends' artistic creations) but cough syrup is still meaningful to me. and honestly hearing that it is still thought fondly of even in 2024 is like earthshatteringly incredible. just a bit ago i remember freaking out over whether cough syrup meant anything and honestly, your kind words reminded me that it does, and it did. and the reason it mattered so much was because of the people like you who appreciated it.

so seriously, thank you. always feel free to send me cs asks -- again, i don't respond very timely but i always will see them. i appreciate you, and i hope you like the next upload, whenever it arrives.

have a delightful day/night/afternoon as well <3

#nightmare.ask #nightmare.cough-syrup #it's easy for me to get discouraged with CS but it's these kinds of comments that make me feel like. okay. i can face this #and in every fathomable way CS was nothing without all of the people who appreciated it #who sunk time into creating for it who commented on it who theorized about it #hopefully updates soon. hopefully soon.

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tenpintsof-sundrop · 2 months

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I am appalled there is even a debacle over you requesting that authors receive sincere interactions from readers. I’m sure there is nothing more dehumanizing than readers and commenters sending a request or demanding a sequel like you are able generate one on command and there is not a please, a thank you, or even a conversation. Especially after pouring your energy and existence into a piece of art. I am still so grateful for ‘King For A Day’ and how much you had put into that piece of art. You brought the golden trio to life for me and they’ve always been dearest to my heart. I had always been hesitant about requesting or writing something polyamorous due to my inexperience and not feeling comfortable questioning monogamy. Knowing the type of fanfiction you write, how unapologetically comfortable you are with your identity, and your genuine drive to have a relationship with your readers made me unafraid to ask. You created something so meaningful about sexuality, sacrifice, identity, temptation, loyalty, acceptance, and love while preserving the magic and characters. That was just from a smut request! Meaningful conversations, requests, interactions, etc are not just benefiting her. If more authors received a morsel of this quality of feedback or humanity, they’d want to provide more for their readers. We have devolved from symbiosis to amensalism. What do authors get out of a few notes after spending weeks, months, or years crafting plots, conflicts, resolutions, and characters? Food for thought.

okay but discussion of King For A Day is so important when it comes to this topic. because it is such a great example fic. thank you so much for sending this message!!!

just in general thank you for everything you have said in this message, because everything you are saying is so true and makes so much sense. and I just - I need to chat about this fic in particular and everything surrounding it. people who know me will know that I bring up King For A Day so often

King For A Day was a huuuuuge spiritual awakening for me as a writer. I consider it to be a perfect fic in terms of a representation of me as an artistic and the execution of my ideas being perfect in the final product on paper

something I have not mentioned - as a kind of experiment, so far this year I have been writing down what are my top ten fics of each month (statistically) from Tumblr, and putting them on a chart. so, the ten fics that get the most notes each month (not just new ones) get noted down so I can see which fics and which fandoms do the best, and so I can see if new fics are performing well - just out of curiosity.

King For A Day has made the list a few times. and every single time I go back to the fic, the number of likes and reblogs has increased, but it always has the same 15 replies on the post. and those 15 replies are the discussion that you and I had on the fic when it first came out - and even if I don't always read through those, seeing that number brings me so much joy. because it reminds me that I made just one person really enthusiastic about the fic in order to spark a discussion about the fic

and it makes me feel like the fic was successful. I do not judge the fic's success on whether or not the likes go up - but by the fact that there was a full fledged discussion in the comments, and it made one person enthusiastic about the fic. that's it

on the other hand - I consider the AO3 comments of King For A Day to be the fucking war trenches of comments. I consider it to be like the Menacled effect (and I think that the Harry Potter fandom is one of the most tiktokified fandoms when it comes to AO3 memes and 'big' fanfics, so they are one of the most entitled fandoms, and one fandom where the culture feels so different, especially on AO3) - but the AO3 comments of King For A Day are a huuuuuge example of how not to comment on fics.

50% of the fucking comments are passive aggressive and asking me to change something about one of the main elements of the fic

'I would like to read a second chapter' - this is not a chaptered fic, this is a oneshot. so there won't be one. also you put this in like a McDonalds order, and that's not how this works?

using the word 'but' in comments like this just doesn't work. if you have to put the word 'but' in a fic comment, then you shouldn't be commenting.

this comment would be perfectly fine and normal and good if it stopped at the heart. BUT (lmao) this fucking comment lives in my mind in infamy because this person for some reason clicked on a fic that is clearly labelled as an x reader fic (written by an author whose entire account is x reader fics) and wanted me to change that main element of the fic??

and for this fic in particular - I have no fucking clue what canon character they would have wanted me to put in place of the reader character. there is no character who easily gels with the dynamic of the Golden Trio - hence, why I invented the reader character in the first place (to show someone balancing out the trio's personalities and acting like a bridge between them to mesh all of them together). like if you want this to be with a canon character - pick one, and use Word Replacer to put them in. don't fucking bother me about it.

and right now, some of you reading this post are readying your little fingers to type a message to me going:

"well you can just moderate comments! you can delete comments you don't like!!" - yes, but I still have to read comments like this.

comments don't get filtered and deleted before I even see them.

even if I delete comments like this, even if I moderate comments - I still have to read them. when people go through the thoughtless process of typing out a comment like this and hitting send, not at all thinking about how that comment will appear to the author, the author still has to read their weird demanding passive aggressive comment. even if they don't reply to it and delete it. (and I usually do reply to comments like this, because I try to politely guide people in the way of being more polite with my replies by telling them I have no plans to change the fic and no plans to make a sequel so they shouldn't ask for it.)

HOWEVER - there is a big difference to me between people commenting on a fic that is in progressing and a fic that is already finished. I have gotten all of my creative satisfaction from King For A Day. especially from the discussion that you and I had surrounding it. so those passive aggressive comments annoy me, a lot - and it makes me feel like people don't appreciate something I think is perfect and beautiful - but they don't ruin the work for me.

people commenting something like that ^^^ on a wip would ruin it for me. and it would completely dash my motivation to finish it at all

and like people have to realize that most of the fics I post are FINISHED. they are finished. so commenting on a finished fic asking for major changes or asking for a sequel where one was never intended is just a douchy thing to do. it's like if someone made a chocolate cake and brought it to a party (for free) and then you took a bite and told them that they should have vanilla cake instead. they're not gonna go back and remake the whole thing just because one person said so. or it's like saying that they should have made and brought brownies too. like nooooo

most of the time, I am posting a work that I have already gotten creative satisfaction from and I am just looking to (maybe) get a second burst of creative satisfaction (like a secondhand high) from having a discussion about it with someone. seeing people notice details in my work or having them ask me about my thought process gives me a second burst of creative energy - and that's all I'm looking for. and sometimes it gives me more ideas for those characters, or even ideas for a sequel to that work that you guys might want to read as well

otherwise, I move on to other creative pursuits, looking to get my creative high somewhere else. that's it

if anyone remembers the time I wrote You Shook Me All Night Long - discussion surrounding the fic got everyone a 20k bonus blurbs series. because people were messaging me excited to see Max get makeup lessons from the reader character and they were excited to see more about Steve and the reader's family. and I wouldn't have written it if not for people's excitement and discussion of the fic. I would have moved onto another fic right way.

I still don't get how or why people think that discussing the work with the writer is a trick when it directly benefits them because it just gets more fics for them???

because like you said - King For A Day, a fucking 22k fic, came from you randomly planting an idea in my inbox - not a request, not a demand, a seed of an idea - an idea that sparked my brain and made me so crazed that I wrote the fic within a week. and that is the kind of thing I'm looking for. people to vibe with me and help my creative vibes. and if not for you, that fic would not have existed.

that is the power of readers reaching out to writers with good intentions

#articlesofalise #sundrop answers #fanfiction #discussion #interactions

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norelationtoatticus · 9 months

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Hi! I have been reading your Stucky story on AO3 and I have to say I'm absolutely in love with your world and characters. I've never read an unfinished fic before so I've never followed a story weekly or anything, and this is actually the first Stucky story I've ever read (although since starting yours I've read others).

I'm autistic and I see a lot of myself in your Bucky and how he gets overstimulated. I love how you wrote him and he's so much more human and relatable in your story than in any story I've ever read of him.

I'm also trans and Jewish, so Junie feels like a cool older sister. I've got some mixed feelings about religion because I'm nonbinary and my family goes to a fairly religious temple, so it's hard for me to feel like I have a place there, because I feel like it's a very gendered environment and there's not a lot of room to be nonbinary.

Seeing Bucky reconnect with his Judaism is SO healing. In ways I can't even describe. Especially because his mentor is trans. I've cried reading your story. Junie is helping me in much the same way she is helping Bucky. Thank you for writing them and their dynamic. From the bottom of my heart.

Steve's character arc so far is fantastic. I love how strong and righteous he is, and how determined he is to fix this fucked up country. I'm in California so I feel like I've been protected from the worst of it, but I've heard the horror stories and I'm angry too. Steve feels like a vessel I can channel my fury at all the fascist assholes through. He really hits the nail on the head. I'm very curious to see where his story goes after this week's chapter. I just read this week's chapter this morning.

I also love how passionate you write their smut, it seems like lovemaking a lot more than fucking like you get in a lot of fics. That's hard to do, and that's coming from someone who writes smut myself.

I could go on and on about this story. I've never been so invested in a fic. You are an amazing author and I wanted to say thank you so much for creating this. ❤️❤️❤️

Hi, this is so incredibly kind. I read this message and cried, so I left it for a while and planned to respond when I could read it again without crying. Utter failure, I'm crying again lol

Thank you so much for this amazing note. I am honored that this is the first Stucky fic you've read! We are together in that, as this is the first one I've written! And this is the first time you've read an in-progress fic? It's also the first time I've ever published anything in pieces like this! We are on a journey together and I love sharing it with you!!

All of your insights and the things you love about this fic are so thoughtful and meaningful to me. I know this story is long and meandering, I know it's a lot to ask people to commit to reading. But it is something I have put so much heart, and thought, and care into, and the fact that you have connected with it means the world to me. Thank you for noticing all of the things you have noticed. I am especially touched by what you've said about gender and religion and how you're relating to those elements of this story. Thank you so much for sharing that bit about yourself with me. I'm grateful this story resonates with you on that level.

I hope you enjoy the rest of it! There's lots more healing, and smut, and fighting fascism still to come as we finally wrap this thing up.

Thank you so much for reading, and thank you for reaching out.

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trans-luis-serra-navarro · 4 months

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hi again!! i sent you an ask about luis and the merchant a few days ago

thanks so much for such a detailed answer omg, i got so so excited over it!!

tbh i never noticed that his stuff actually looks cleaner in the merchant's room, but !!! omg it's such a tiny tiny detail, but the fact that luis actually took time to take care of these things because they're meaningful to him and probably remind him of his grandfather/his childhood !!!!!! excuse me while i go cry in the corner

and literally crying about the fact that luis used every opportunity, all the time that he had, to work on the medicine, because he just wanted to help them so much and do better 😭😭

and i never noticed the chess board, but you're so right, omg i love the thought that luis possibly played chess and drank with the merchant. good for him!!!!

there's something else i want to say, but i think im gonna send it in a separate ask in just a few minutes bcs im not sure if there're any limits for asks, but i don't want it to be too long and be cut off

OUGH THANK YOU for sending in such a long and detailed ask are you kidding me!!!!!!! I created this entire blog for literally the sole purpose of overanalysing EVERY tiny detail of Luis’ character and trying to piece together the missing pieces of his life, so finding new information makes me absolutely ECSTATIC!!!! ESPECIALLY when other people are just as enthusiastic about it as I am, it really honestly truly makes my entire day!!!!!!

BUT ARGH YES RIGHT???? Luis is clearly a SUPER sentimental person- like beyond the obvious acts of kindness we see him perform, he does a LOT to hold onto his family heritage (carry’s around his Grandfather’s Red9, goes by his Maternal middle and surname etc etc) which really just adds SO MUCH to his character especially when taking his culture and it’s history into account!!!!! Little details like that absolutely drive me nuts!!

AND YEAH. Y E A H !!!!!!! Like I already elaborated on it in the last ask I answered but he was working on that cure for EVERY SECOND he had!!!!!! That’s why I always raise my eyebrows at people who try to imply that Luis had a very quick and sudden change of heart when he met Leon/he was an entirely selfish person before we meet him BUUUUUUT HEEEYYY THATS JUST AN OPINION A GAAAAME OPINION

There are just SO S O MANY little details that Capcom poured their entire heart and soul into for Luis and I’m SO happy they did

I’ll answer your next ask in the morning when my brain is less fried (this week has been SO BUSY for my oh my GOD) but again!!!! Thank you SO much for sending in an ask in the first place!!!!!!! <<<33

#ask #asks #luisposting #luis serra #luis serra navarro

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clarawaking · 11 months

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My Trans SuperPowers -- #2

A poem, dedicated to the celebration of being trans, and to the education of those who 'don't get it'

(lay this down to a sweet groove...)

* * * * *

I’d like to share a bit with you — about my transition

To counter the spite for people who are in this position

Transphobes accuse this of being an arbitrary decision

That we make to ally ourselves with leftist activism…

They have zero respect for the emotional precision

Of discovering your authenticity, and escaping your body-prison,

...

To be a trans person, is to belong to a tribe

Who find themselves always, on the outside

You hear the people joke, mock and deride

But you really fear the violence that follows from the jibes

Can you imagine your life if you always had to hide?

And hate? Like….hate?

Why do we get this hate?

Like we’re fucking-perverts-always-looking-for-new-ways-to-masturbate?

...

The anti-trans paranoiacs call us groomers & pedophiles

But you ever wonder what on earth they’re teaching to their child?

“God is love” they preach, behind judgemental smiles

But He doesn’t make mistakes, the phobes say with confidence

Well then me being trans was EXACTLY God’s intent

My path in this life was to be born a girl

But to be thought of as a boy by the entire world

So my soul’s journey has been to uncover my Real Self

And if my body wasn’t designed to be accurate off the shelf

Then who the hell is anyone to question God’s decision?

To react to His creation with disgust and derision?

“But surgery is butchery!” they vociferate with gumption

But they’ll get eye glasses, or nose jobs, or take Viagara for their dick dysfunction

Anyway, I’ll defer to what Roger Waters said

“As I’ve always said, I prefer your lips red,

Not what the Good Lord made

But what He intended!”

…

So let me tell you a bit about my own experience

Before you tell me your fear-based doubtful sentiments

Unless you think there’s something wrong with people who are different?

You don’t need to treat me like I’m sick, or weird or strange,

Just because my body’s undergoing a specific change

That hasn’t happened to you (…..yet!!!)

...

And by God don’t tell me therapy’s what I need

When it’s been years of exactly that, that finally helped me see

What I had been repressing for my entire life

What has lurked in my unconscious, & created all that strife,

From the carved-up scars that were once left by my knife

To no doubt the fact things didn’t work out with people, like my wife

...

You know…just cuz you might not see the meaning in someone’s blahaj shark

Doesn’t make it any less meaningful than some belief in Noah’s ark

And what, should trans people spend their lives hiding in the dark?

Living lives of shame and loneliness and never feel the spark

of being loved for who they are, and opening their heart?

proudly moving in society, contributing their part?

...

And are we really so scary that you need to be protected?

Like if we piss in your washroom, you’re gonna get infected?

Or we’re sneaking a peak at your junk so that we can inspect it?

It’s trans people’s privacy that tends not to be respected….

Which is why we band together, cuz we know we’re not defective.

And we just want to be able to take a pee….without vigilante bathroom detectives!

…..

In truth, being trans has already cost tons of sacrifice

But I am so goddamn thankful this was MY roll of the dice

Because it has softened me and deepened me in the most delightful ways

And I’ve found acceptance by friends, family, the allies and the gays

I’ve met courageous people whose eyes shine like sun rays

And a feeling of simple joy is what accompanies my days

Cuz being trans is like discovering that you have superpowers

I’m a fucking x-man (pun intended!), and I do not plan to cower

I know that in the future, I ain’t getting many flowers

It’s kinda like playing euchre, never getting any bauers

Future lovers or not I have Clara, and I guess that makes me now hers

And you find you can handle rejection, when your own self-love towers

My emotional struggles, I find Estrogen now cures

And my eyes, hot damn!!!, they have a new allure

And it’s fun to feel confident, but also play demure

...

It’s possible, and it’s fine, if you want to make some changes

Everybody does as their life flows and rearranges

But trans people are discovering just how wide that range is

And the haters & the intolerant are really, the only dangers

...

Heck, I’m learning to biohack this flesh vessel!

Cyproterone & Estradiol are my mortar & my pestle

Crushing masculinity, releasing femininity

If I add progesterone, it’d be the Holy Trinity

And if religion don’t agree with me, I’ve found my own Divinity

With joy, & love, euphoria, there ain’t no way a sin it be

And if I’m destined for damnation? Into infinity??

Then I say bring it, bitch, cuz that’s where all my friends’ll be.

…

To me, being trans is beautiful, there’s nothing to be mourned

I don’t feel it like a death, I more feel like I’ve been reborn.

And, I cherish it. ❤️

#trans pride #i love being trans #trans is beautiful

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joshuadiazzz · 1 month

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'figuring it out' thank you's

First and foremost, I want to say that I am extremely excited to get to write these “thank you’s” down. I remember as a kid, looking through the CD booklets of my favorite albums and being fascinated by all the people that contributed to the record or just helping the artist along the way. So let’s get these credits going.

Special thanks to

Gerald Bailey, Max Davis, Martina Cohran, Rosy Aguilar, Amy (The Social Worker at the Lutz Building), Ms. Coller (for being one of the most encouraging vocal teacher ever), Ms. Lattimore, Paige Kizer, Megan Esther (Paige and Megan being the two best music tutors that genuinely helped me and were rooting for me during every tutoring session), Mr. David Grant, Mr. Harvey, Mr. Crawford.

To the people who helped me bring this little EP to life and have put in their “granito de arena”:

Nikki Pacheco, thank you so much for being the best manager I could ever ask for. I absolutely appreciate every single thing you have done to help me over the past couple of months. I have never worked with a manager before so for you to be the first, I was absolutely ecstatic!!! Thank you for believing in me. Here’s to our future growth and achievements!!!

Edson Marca, for literally opening your doors to your house the entire month of July 2022 and giving me a space to just create.

Jordan Siwek, for the lovely chord progression I stumbled upon in the fall of 2021 that later contributed to the base for “a love that never was”.

Val Morales, for being the best human and person who accompanied me during the first two (very formative) years of college. Your friendship and your wisdom is something I continue to carry with me to this day. Thank you!

Khalif, for stepping inside that one studio session I had with Val for “good enough for u” during its early stages of conception. Despite not having met you prior to that encounter, I was extremely fascinated by your ear when it came to harmonies, and for you have added some “ooh’s’ (alongside Val) underneath my song’s chorus?!? mind-blowing in the best way possible.

Ivy-Jolie Camacho, IVY!!!! Prior to “outta the blue”, the number of times we would talk about songwriting together was insane. I’m so glad that we got to create something that one very special Friday and how working with you, took me out of my comfort zone as a songwriter (in the best way possible).

Abdiel Diaz, for being the missing puzzle piece to “good enough for u”. Having the song fully written and produced back in the winter of 2022, I was in search of a guitarist for the LONGEST TIME but was too afraid to ask anyone since they were all busy or unavailable. So for you to add your guitar-playing skills and add that missing element (because I do in fact sing, “How do you manage to strum each string on my heart, like when you play your guitar”), made it feel complete. So thank you.

Ambercita, for shooting the amazing cover art and the headshots that form what is the “figuring it out” aesthetic. Being able to work with a photographer for the first time was such a great experience but also being able to step into your world and see the behind-the-scenes process and see you in your element, is truly inspiring.

Additionally…

To my band, Sumar Suliman, Daniel Rovinsky, Nate Freedman & Stephen Ryan. Thank you for bringing my songs to life on stage, especially ‘good enough for u’. I sound like a broken record whenever I say this but I am truly grateful for each and every one of you that was willing to help me, rehearse with me, and as I said previously, bring my songs to life. You truly don’t understand how meaningful it is for you guys to be the first instrumentalists I got to form a band with.

To Nicole Nicolalde, for showing me what a true performer looks like on stage. I knew I had it in me but seeing you perform gave me reassurance that I too can display my performer self on stage (no longer a bedroom-my-hairbrush-as-a-mic performer). Also for sharing so much wisdom with me about what it takes to do so. Te quiero.

To both Kacie and Maggie for giving me so much advice regarding forming my own band. It was something that I wanted for a really long time and wanted to be a part of one so so badly. But receiving so much insight from you both absolutely helped me when the day came that I had my people, my band, with me.

and to Avi Nathan, for performing with Abdiel and me at the open mic back in February on such short notice. The way I gave you the rhythm chart just HOURS before the open mic happened… insanity. Thank you for helping me out and taking the time to do that with me.

To you, the listener. Thank you for giving my music a chance to be heard by you. I hope that you continue to follow me along on this journey of mine and get to witness my continuous growth. I promise it’ll be worth it.

and to Britney Spears, Ariana Grande, Mariah Carey, Beyoncé, Brandy, Whitney Houston, Kehlani, Selena Quintanilla-Pérez, Lady Gaga, Janet Jackson, and Omar Apollo for all inspiring me as a songwriting, vocalist, producer, and performer <3 (because why not)

and to all my friends that I’ve made along the way and have supported and believed in me. To all the friends that were willing to collaborate on songs with me and step into each other's worlds, I value you and I am grateful for you.

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eachday4j · 1 year

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I’ve always tried, on this website on Mother’s Day, to express to you the insight and imaginings of your life as a mom, filtered through the histories, words, and sometimes even the artwork created by our three boys. Today, though, I wanted to do something different.

I just want to send you a message from me.

So this year my message is one of wonderment, pride and admiration, and — absolutely — the deepest, most profound gratitude I can imagine. In fact, I’m not even sure I can imagine it, when it comes to this kind of gratitude. It’s so deep, bottomless, so strongly tied to all the threads of our life together. How can I even begin to make you understand, what your gifts as a mother have meant to my whole world?

I am in wonderment. Really, it’s every day. I know I may not look like I’m in wonderment every day, but — even if my wonderment is, on occasion, small — I assure you that I am. Because every day I experience at least one moment of extraordinary clarity of the impact you make on our lives. From your endless work in our home, to your constant ideas of things to do, to your skills and talents in cooking, baking, saving us money, and so very much more. You make everything better. You do all of this for us, day in and day out without fail. And I know how hard it all is, I know the toll it can take on you. I’m sorry for all of those times that I don’t make it easier for you, when too many things get in the way of simple helping. I know you can be overwhelmed by all that you do — but here’s what I believe: sometimes things are hard exactly because of how good you are it! If you chose to be lazy, or didn’t care, it would all be easy. But because you make it all so meaningful and important; because you’re unwilling to be half a mom, half the time, half involved — all of this can be hard, and sometimes unforgiving. Being all that you are takes world-changing effort and strength, I know, and I’m every-day so amazed at how great you are at it! Just as you you inspire the boys every day, you also inspire me.

I feel proud, all the time. My heart is filled every time I think of you, our home, our lives. It is magnificent to contemplate all that we have achieved together, and I simply cannot imagine our family being any other way. I’m so happy to be married to you, to be alongside you raising our boys, to join you on this familial team as we continually set out to make our world. We see so many people who appear unhappy, or coasting along, or beaten down by life that I’m so gratified to be sharing all of this with you, even in our most challenging times! I look at you and see nothing but love and family and lifelong commitment. I see our journey as parents and as a couple, stretching back and forth through unending time. Whatever my life was before there was us, I can’t even imagine it and can barely remember. I see you and me and our family with such hope and excitement, fearlessly surging into our shared future. And even though I’m certain we’ll encounter hard spots, as there have been already — times of frustration and uncertainty and longing and loss — still, I’m even more certain I’ll be proud and in awe of how we’ll face it, solve our challenges, share our triumphs, make our memories, you and I and us.

I will spend all my life thanking you. Even though I said above that this was hard to imagine, it actually should be the easy part. I’m already locked into being with you, seeing you every day, living the rest of my life with you — so it should be a pretty simple thing for me to express my gratitude for you, in a million different ways. I hope you see that I do try to do that, all the time. From your morning coffee to our times away together, I want you to know and really understand, constantly, how grateful I am to have you as my wife and the mother of our boys. I get to live this incredible life because of you — a better life than I really ever thought was possible!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, J. You are everything to me, and everything to our boys, and everything to our lives!

Happy Mother’s Day!

#mothers day #mother's day #mother #family #3 boys #together #commitment #forever

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lakelandseo · 1 year

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How Content Is Evolving Thanks to AI — Whiteboard Friday

There's no question that AI has already started to have a meaningful impact on organizations that create content every single day.

"The wonderful world of AI is changing rapidly. ChatGPT4 is driving even more improvements in the output from the technology and the space continues to take off," says today's host, Ross Simmonds. "The best piece of advice that I can give anyone looking to use AI in their marketing workflows today is to take the time to plan and create a culture where embracing the evolution is not only embraced but also celebrated. The future is here."

In this video, Ross shares how our workflows, processes, and content creation will positively evolve thanks to AI.

Click on the whiteboard image above to open a high resolution version in a new tab!

Video Transcription

Howdy, Moz friends. So are robots coming for your job? That is the question that a lot of marketers and creators are asking themselves today and for good reason. Every single time that you log in to one of your favorite social media channels, you're probably seeing a plethora of news around the new AI, ChatGPT 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, who knows, right?

The evolution of AI is always in the press, in the buzz. It is taking off, and there is a real reason why you should be paying attention to this rise of AI. I'm not here to strike the fears of marketers around the globe to make them think that the robots are going to take their jobs and the robots are going to send them out into the streets to be unemployed.

That is not the message that I have for you today. There's no question that AI has already started to have a meaningful impact on organizations that create content every single day. An evolution is happening. The same way that an evolution happened when the modern printing press was evolved with technologies like laptops, the same way that evolution took place when we went from people who consumed content on VHSs to DVDs to Blu-rays, to now streaming sites, technology continues to evolve.

That evolution now today is through generative AI and how it's influencing the way that we create content every single day. In this video, what I'm going to share with you is how our workflows, how our processes, and how we create content is going to evolve thanks to AI. Now, some of you might be fearful.

Some of you might work for organizations that are actually viewing AI as a replacement to writers, and I hear you. My heart breaks for those who would consistently be met with the idea that a boss would tell them, "Yeah, I can just replace you with an AI," because that is not the intent of these tools. These tools are kind of like our Ironman suit, so to speak, right, or vibranium if you're in the world of Wakanda, and you understand the fact that you can take these things to just elevate us as humans, that is the power of AI.

AI is supposed to be a tool that we can use to be better. I do have some bad news. If you are a mediocre writer and you use an AI tool, you're still going to be a mediocre writer. You're just going to be able to create more mediocre content faster. But if you are a great writer, if you are a great creative and creator, you have the opportunity to use AI tools to elevate and improve and enhance the rate in which you can create great content, and that's the magic of this stuff.

Evolve to the new way

So let's jump into it. All right. There was a great quote from Howard Stark. Howard Stark, Tony Stark's dad. It's not a real quote. It's not a real person. But he said, "I am limited by the technology of my day, but you have the opportunity to unlock something special. You will be able to figure it out."

Even today, technology that we have at our disposal is going to continue to evolve, but we are only limited to the technology we have today as long as we make the decision as creators, as marketers to embrace the technology instead of rejecting it. My goal today is to show you why you need to evolve from the old way of creation to the new way of creation, which is rooted, in many ways, in leveraging tools like AI.

So let's go back into time a little bit. Let's go back to 1992 when we're creating content on our typewriters and things like that. Things shifted, things change because that's a part of life, that's a part of business, that's a part of technology. Then we got computers and we got laptops. Fast forward now to, let's say, 2018. We're now using computers to create content.

We're writing blog posts. How do we do it? We embrace a process that we would call content creation, content workflows. Every organization is going to have a different workflow, and every single type of content is going to have a different type of workflow as well. Let's talk about the writing workflow. Let's talk about creating content with the intent of search. If you're watching this, you're probably someone who's interested in search.

So let's talk about that. You start your process with research. You start your process by understanding the keywords that your audience is going to Google to type in. You're trying to understand the search intent behind the behaviors that they're going to Google to understand a certain topic, a certain industry. Why would they type in a certain thing? You want to understand that.

Then you want to do things like interviews. Let's talk to our customers. Let's learn about their pain points, let's learn about their needs, and use this information to inform us on the stories that we should be creating. Let's analyze social. When Facebook comes out, Twitter comes out, we start to use these tools to gain insight into, "Hmm, my audience is talking about this thing. Maybe I should create content about this." These are things that we should be doing today.

These are things that your organization might be doing. Diving into the SERP, using great tools like Moz to understand the SERP and understand what is already ranking for certain keywords, and then using that to inform your decisions on the stories that you should create. That's happening today. Since the beginning of the creative industry, we've started to do things like brainstorm. So you get all this insight.

You get all this information and you brainstorm. You might drink coffee, you might drink wine depending on your appetite and what you're into. But you're going to brainstorm. You're going to come up with new ideas, new stories, new headlines, new topics, stories that you think your audience is going to love. Then you start to create them. You put on your suit and you walk into the class, "Everyone, I have new ideas that I want share with you today."

Then you start to share them. You write a brief. You write a brief on why this idea is going to resonate, why this idea is going to rank. You create content based off of the research that you've developed. This might take two to three days, right? Like this might take maybe even a week depending on your industry, your space, your company. It's taking time to create these briefs.

The briefs get approved by a creative director or a content director, whoever it might be. Then you brief your writers, your creators, and they're developing drafts, maybe in Google Docs. Maybe they're going in and they're actually writing it up. They're having coffee. They're hitting a writer's block. They're getting stressed out. They're leaving.

They're having a smoke break, whatever it might be. They're struggling to create this draft, and then boom, it hits. They've come up with an amazing piece that they believe is going to set the world on fire and everybody is going to give them applause because they just identified a great topic. Then they press Publish. They upload it to the CMS, content management system. It goes live, and an SEO team starts to throw SEO stuff on it. They start to audit it.

This is the workflow of 1.0. That is the workflow that probably sounds very similar to a lot of you. It might be the process and procedures that you are using right now within your company. That's okay. But as you look ahead, as you start to look at the SERP, you're going to start to notice a shift. You're going to start to notice a shift in the fact that more companies and more organizations, more people, more creators are going to be able to produce higher volumes of content at a higher rate because they have embraced the evolution of content. They've embraced the evolution of content by embracing AI.

AI content will get better

Now, some of you are probably thinking, "Ross, AI content is garbage. AI content is not good. It's not high quality. Nobody wants to read that stuff, and it's just going to put a bunch of spam on the internet." I hear you. But Google is smart. They understand the difference between bad content and good content. Over time, as their algorithm continues to change, just like the AI tools that we're using continue to change, they're going to start to understand the triggers of what is a great piece of content and what is a mediocre piece of content.

So in the short term, yes, we might see a lot of trash content, true. But over time, the content is going to be forced to elevate due to things like Double E-A-T. When Google announces Double E-A-T, the new requirements around what they're going to actually rank and what they want to see from creators and marketers and businesses, that gives us an insight into where things are going.

Think differently

This is why I think AI can still be embraced, but we have to think differently. Now, when we're going through the new workflow, where does it start? It still starts with research, but it's going to be a different type of research. You're going to be able to go to an AI tool and you can say, hey, give me the top 20 keywords that I should be going after if I want to increase my SERP visibility based off my analytics, which the AI can actually pull data from, and give me a recommendation on the keywords that I should go after.

This can happen within minutes now. It's no longer taking a human the time to go through a spreadsheet, to pull up Tableau. They can use a tool that's going to analyze this on your behalf. Then from this detail, from this data, you can then start to dive into the SERP, and there are AI tools that will allow you to do that. You can start to look at social media and start to use AI tools that will analyze on your behalf the topics that are trending in your space and use that to start getting into something very special, which is when you actually start to create content using AI.

What does that look like? So imagine you're using generative AI, which is essentially a tool, a technology that has taken all of the content on the internet, and it's scraped a bunch of it. It's using language processing to understand it and come up with stories and messages that really sound natural, human, right? Natural language processing is at the core of all of this. If you go to a tool like ChatGPT, if you use their API, you can do what I'm going to share with you as the future of content creation in AI, and this is what it looks like.

You go to one of these tools. You set up a Google spreadsheet. You can tell that spreadsheet, you can tell the AI that you want them to find 10 blog posts based off of the keywords that you pulled out of your research. So if a tool like Moz gives you 20 keywords that you need to actually rank for, great, you've got the starting point. Now, I want AI to take each of these keywords and find 10 blog posts on these topics.

Give me 10 headlines. You now have a list of 10 headlines. You tell Google Sheets that you want each of these headlines to be on a separate cell, right? This is all pretty basic Google Sheets efforts right now. Once that's done, you tell AI to hit those headlines and write an outline for this headline using headline, actually using the cell with five key points.

Now, ChatGPT is now creating for you an outline that outlines all of the things that should make up these different blog posts. This is essentially the briefs, right? The briefs are being replaced. Now, after that is developed, you say, hey, ChatGPT, based off of this headline, can you write me an introduction using AIDA, Attention, Interest, Desire, Action, that formula to create a great intro for this blog post based off of the headline that they computed and actually created for you.

Now, here's where it gets even more interesting. Now, you take all of that information that ChatGPT just gave you, right, and you're able to say, hey, ChatGPT, write 400 words based on the topic and key point. This is what the outline gave you. The outline gave you five key points. So you're now able to tell it to take the headline from that output and write 400 words based off of that topic.

It creates that on your behalf, and you tell it to write it as if it was in a blog on this headline. If you wanted to get really fancy, you can say using a tone that Ross Simmonds would use, using a tone that somebody else would use. You can use other information to make it tell the story the way that you want it to. What are you met with?

You're met with a draft. You're met with a draft that you might be thinking is going to be trash, that might have some inaccuracies. All of those things are true. But you didn't have to have coffee, you didn't have to have wine. You didn't have to lose sleep. You didn't have a writer's block. You didn't have to have a smoke break.

You didn't have to do any of that. You didn't have to go through Docs. You didn't have to go through any of those things. You didn't have to do any of those things to get to your draft. So where do humans start to come in? We come in as it relates to elevation. As I mentioned, these are not tools to replace us.

They are tools to augment us. We then go in on that asset and you elevate it. You elevate that content asset to make it worth reading. You set the bar for what content excellence looks like in your industry, with your brand and with the story that you want to tell, and then you start to look at things like this. This is the elevation checklist. You're looking at: Do we have, can we incorporate in this blog post two DA60 URLs being linked to?

High-authority sites, can we make sure that we're referencing high-authority sites? Can we ensure that we have four images within this blog post? So in point three, where they're talking about a certain topic, can we create a custom visual that showcases this? Can we double-check to make sure that AIDA introduction is actually strong, and that the facts and the information within it are actually real information and not something that ChatGPT just made up?

Can we do that? Can we make sure that there are two third-party quotes, meaning I'm going to reach out to two people in the industry to get third-party quotes to elevate this content and ensure that Double E-A-T is being met with its expectations of having people with experience in my content? Can I ensure that I have one internal reference where I'm talking about my product, where I might even upload pictures and screenshots of the thing that I'm selling?

Can I ensure that I am embedding a YouTube video that has been uploaded? Why? Because Google bought YouTube for billions of dollars, and you can leverage that to ensure that you are increasing your ability and your chances to show up in the SERP. Can you ensure that that conclusion is inspiring? Can you ensure that the humans on the other end of the keyboard, when they're reading this blog post that AI essentially developed, feel inspired to take action to do something when they're done reading?

Can you ensure that there are charts and graphs? Can you ensure that the definitions that are being made and talked about within the piece are actually isolated from the content so it could possibly show up as a featured snippet? Can you run this content through a duplication check to make sure that there's no duplicate content where this isn't already been written, that there's no plagiarism happening in this piece that was created by AI?

If you can do this, you will have on your iron suit, right? This is where the magic happens. Then you're able to do it much faster than you would have the old way. Will the content still be good? No doubt about it. But as long as you have that commitment to content excellence, as long as you are there to elevate the content and embrace a culture that actually cares about the end reader, the content that your AI tools, your AI workflows produce might still be mediocre.

But when you add that human touch, when you add that expertise, and when you take that piece and you take it up a notch through elevation, that's when you get a piece of content that is worth reading, worth sharing, worth bookmarking, and ultimately worth creating, because at the end of the day, you still have to hit Publish.

You still have to share it. You still want to understand whether or not it's going to show up in the SERP. You're going to use elevation to ensure that it's ultimately set up to do that, but you're going to do it much faster because you embraced the evolution of content. Content is at the foundation of society. Every single piece of content that you create has an impact on the people on the other end of the screen.

Do not take it lightly. Create content today that you can distribute forever and ultimately have a massive impact on culture. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed this video. If you want to learn more, check me out online @TheCoolestCool. Thank you so much. Have a great day or evening.

Video transcription by Speechpad.com

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bfxenon · 1 year

Text

How Content Is Evolving Thanks to AI — Whiteboard Friday

There's no question that AI has already started to have a meaningful impact on organizations that create content every single day.

In this video, Ross shares how our workflows, processes, and content creation will positively evolve thanks to AI.

Click on the whiteboard image above to open a high resolution version in a new tab!

Video Transcription

Evolve to the new way

AI content will get better

Think differently

Video transcription by Speechpad.com

0 notes

tackytigerfic · 2 years

Note

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love! 💖

Hello Anon! Thank you so much for sending this, and also thank you to the ever-lovely @pennygalleon who also asked me this. I've been so enjoying reading all the ones I've seen - it's always really fascinating to see what fics the writers themselves love.

A few factors that matter to me when it comes to liking my own fics:

I need to think the writing is alright

I need to have had a nice time writing it

I need to feel like I accomplished what I set out to do with it, or at least that it has some sort of meaningful impact for me after the fact of writing it

So here are my own five favourites, the ones I think are my best writing and also that I am fond of in that sort of indefinable writerly sort of way ("I made this!").

I've kept this to Drarry, which I was torn about as I think my favourite sex scene occurs in Aim for my Heart (which is a Dronarry, or Draconarry as I think the new ship name should be, thank you to the clever bookmarker who showed me the Dracon light!). But I'm a Drarry man at heart and I think my Drarry fics are ultimately why I'm here, so they got the edge.

In the Hallway (M, 1.9k, PTSD, nightmares, eating pot noodle shirtless which is a recipe for disaster)

I like this one because I was really trying to create a mood (which I think I hit) and also to write Hermione, who I find hard. It's a bit of a gamble for me to write things I find challenging, because if they go wrong I get frustrated with myself, but in this case I think I achieved what I wanted to. And I really like the sort of ruthlessly efficient Draco here, who basically makes loving Harry and making him happy into a project.

Between the Power Lines (M, 3.2k, American roadtrip Drarry, topless driving, lots of motels)

I think this is probably my best-written fic? I don't think there's much I'd change about it even now (usually I can't read over my writing for fear of instantly wanting to rewrite every line) and I am a sucker for Americana and the enforced intimacy of a roadtrip. Plus Harry getting the seatbelt caught in his chest hair and Draco asleep with his face against the window just ping all the right buttons for me every time. Oh and again happy with the very vague smut here - I was trying to write something unexplicit but also that was clearly still sex 😂

The Long Fall (M, 3.6k, mpreg, baby fic)

Phew this one came out of nowhere and I think I like it because I was so surprised to have written a trope that I find very tricky. It also feels very realistic for me in terms of how I experienced parenthood. Umm and I am really happy with the dialogue in the car scene, that came out just as I wanted it to.

Our Little Life (M, 7.2k, multiverse, alternate universes, WW1 Drarry, Ancient Roman Drarry, wilful appropriation of Dorothy Sayers' best line)

Oh this is a favourite because it's the sort of thing I love to read. Very romantic and very fanciful but (hopefully) on the right side of readable and convincing (i mean, magic explains a lot, amirite). I used to be a big Roman history buff so had to get that in, plus I really love WW1 literature, plus obvs Peter Wimsey had to be shoehorned in somewhere. It was just really self-indulgent to write, in the nicest way.

Modern Love (E, 62k, Muggle world Draco, lots of references to biscuits)

If you had asked me in 2019, I would have said I could never write a long fic. Draco in the Muggle world was always a favourite trope of mine as a reader, and this fic felt like it was just waiting for me to write it. It was a very easy and lovely process, it unfolded naturally, the tone felt right, it was the best mix of partly knowing what I wanted to get in there, and partly having things meander off in their own direction as I went on... This is just a fic I know I would probably want to read if I hadn't written it, which is a nice feeling.

Tagging @bonesliketambourines @kbrick @maesterchill @onbeinganangel @pineau-noir @shealwaysreads @skeptiquewrites @teacup-tai @the-starryknight @theonlywolfpants and anyone else who wants to do it and please tag me as i'm a nosy bastard and love reading these things, and miss anything i'm not tagged in!

#drarry #drarry fic rec #drarry rec list #self-rec ask #lovely people being lovely #fanfic writer asks #drarry squad #i queue

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zodiacrant · 3 years

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🍉Astro Observations🍉

Hello everyone! Hope you’re doing great and feeling positive. I decided to write observations because I got a lot to do and I need a distraction 😅✌️. So, without further a-due here are my observations

(These may or may not apply to you, please keep an open mind and take it as entertainment rather than life changing facts. Please credit me if you’re going to use my work, or ask me beforehand.)

🍉People with Earth Mars or/and an Earth sign in the 1st or 6th house have very healthy and strong bodies

🍉Even though Pisces, Neptune and the 12th house is associated alot with dreams, Scorpio, Mars, Pluto and the 8th house can tell us about our nightmares and the theme of our dreams. (EX. I have a Scorpio Mars in the 9th house Sagittarius, which Chiron resides in as well, empty Virgo 8th house, Pluto in 10th house Scorpio, which Lilith also resides in Scorpio. Because of the high concentration of Scorpio and Virgo residing in the 8th my dreams have always been very vivd, chronological, and all in all a world of it self that I developed since childhood, as far as I can remember. I rarely get awakened by nightmares as well. Because of Mars in the 9th house alot in dreams I am either looking for something or on a journey to some place.)

🍉The houses where we have Taurus and Libra is what we’re envied for, while those ruled by Scorpio and Aries is what we envy in others and desire to be.

🍉The aspects Between Jupiter and other planets can tell us how friendly, open, stiff, fun loving, uptight and mean we’re. The more Squares the meaner a person may be, the more opposites with Jupiter would make the person paradoxical or “fake”. While Trine gives a more of a fun and carefree personality and conjunctions indicates being a “down ass bitch”.

🍉People can help us, influence us or teach us something regarding the house their Sun and Moon resides in our chart. (EX. If you have Cancer in the 2nd house, Cancer Sun, Moon and dominant can help you with your finances, spending habits and better your relationship with money and vices. This can either be in a friendly advice, leading by example, or you falling for a scheme they did but you’ll ultimately learn nevertheless.)

🍉I have noticed people with Air Venus have a salad taste in music. They would listen to slow music, very emotional and heart hitting then it is followed by an earth shattering EDM track, having a rave on their own.

🍉Staying on the topic of music, I noticed the sign of the 3rd house and the planets residing there effect what we seek in music alot. (EX. Me and my sister both have Fire signs over the 3rd house, so we prefer to listen to something upbeat, however, I have Sun, Mercury, Saturn and Jupiter there so music to me should be meaningful beyond belief, and great in everything from vocal, melody, writing and production. She on the other hand has Mars there and all she cares about is a good beat on the track.)

🍉Although Fire signs are viewed as very competitive, which they’re, it is rarely talked about how competitive Earth signs can be. They are as, if not more, competitive, the difference is that they’re more quiet about it.

🍉I never understood why people say that Scorpios are mysterious, dangerous, ominous sex driven demon spawns. I never met one and felt that in any way. I think they just read a room and people so closely and thoroughly that they might give a death stare here and there.

🍉I noticed that where we have Neptune we get a positive illusion from ourselves or others, while Pluto is where people get misconceptions and take negative first impressions from us. (EX. Someone with Neptune in the 7th house and Pluto in the 4th house might be subject to being slut shamed based on the illusion that their many relationships and beauty (Neptune in 7th) makes them easy, have family issues or are home wrecker (Pluto in 4th)

🍉People with Moon or Venus in “Fatherly” houses (9th and 10th) may have mothers who took on the role of the father as well.

🍉Venus in opposition or Square to Mars/Saturn/Pluto will have a hard time finding the right relationship or a healthy one.

🍉Even though Taurus and Libra are Venusian siblings and their opposites are Aries and Scorpio, the Martian siblings, each sign fits with others opposite. Taurus and Aries share natural and rawness in their energy, Taurus is the natural and effortless beauty and Aries is the natural warrior and leader. Both come as they are.

🍉Scorpio and Libra, on the other hand, are known for deception and putting up a facade. However, they’re also more logical thinkers and diplomatic begins, which make them more likable and capable in comparison.

🍉Mars in Leo are strong willed and capable but that lion can be tamed with love. As powerful as they can be, their weakness lies within their heart, as love and loyalty hold them back. This can be negative, as they will be pushovers for those they love, as well as, fight others battles, making them prone to getting used by others.

🍉Saturn can be a tough teacher but if you learn the lessons and convert it’s energy to your advantage you’ll basically become unstoppable.

🍉With that being said, I find it to be particularly difficult in social houses (3rd, 7th, 11th) It creates a wedge and a block between the native and their peers. This can be either as they cannot express themselves, are misunderstood, and/or alienated by others.

🍉The season of the sign over the house your Moon resides in can be very difficult or a period of many emotional roller coasters. Also, where does it hit the most.(Ex. I have my moon in the 11th house and let me tell you, February have been the month of some of the worst and best things to happen in my life. Many friends I have lost and met in February/Aquarius season)

🍉 The degree of that house can also indicate the general feel or emotion you’ll run through in that season.

🍉Someone asked me about my “page chart” which I got very confused over. I don’t know where they got the idea but I didn’t think it was worth a whole post but here is the chart of Zodiacrant (the page):

Made on October 17th 2018

Sun: Libra

Moon: Aquarius

Mercury: Scorpio

Venus: Scorpio

Mars: Aquarius

ASC: Cancer

MC: Aries

I hope it is of any use to the anon and any of you 😅.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed the observations. Please let me know your opinions and thoughts, share with us your own observations and rants.

Love you ❤️.

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qqueenofhades · 3 years

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did you watch lucifer season six and what are your thoughts pls and ty

Ahaha. Yes. Yes I did watch it. Then I cried for a literal hour and attempted to compose myself, only to start crying again when I lay down and kept on thinking about it. Then I had more feelings. Then I slept like the dead due to emotional trauma. Then I reblogged gifsets and had More feelings. Then @buffaluff and @flynnanimal watched it and also required emotional support due to drowning in their own tears. So, uh... we're all fine here now. How are you?

My main takeaway from the final season was the sheer amount of love for the characters, story, and fans that you could feel shining through all the episodes, and which made SUCH a refreshing change. I had feelings in my tags the other day about how a show about the devil was constantly goofy, hopeful, loving, and uplifting, rather than all the grimdark nonsense they could have easily done with it. (As I said, just imagine it as written by the GOT idiots?? NO THANK YOU.) The writing really loved everyone and wanted to give them a proper ending and emotional journey, and it wanted to show the fans that they weren't stupid for having invested six seasons of effort and emotion into this, and just... that is so much rarer than it should be? Compare all the movies and TV shows that treat their fans like the enemy, that want to outsmart them at all costs even if it means changing major plot elements, that ferociously guard spoilers and think that "shock value" means good writing, by throwing hackneyed cliche upon cliche and making everything Depressing, and just... Lucifer had its hiccups and slow points and missteps, of course, but I am SO glad they didn't do that. The entire show consisted of Lucifer slowly but steadily progressing toward being a better man, despite mistakes and setbacks and sometimes a little too much will-they-won't-they. (Season 3 was the only one where I got bored and skipped over the filler episodes with Pierce/Lucifer/Chloe in order to get to the end).

That is an essentially simple premise, but they stuck to it, and they didn't try to create more drama by randomly wrecking what they had already established. I wrote a fic all the way back in mid-season 2 (In Nomine Patris) that ended up predicting quite a few of the future characters who had not yet appeared on the show at that time, including Eve, Michael, and Azrael, and several plot points, including the very major one of Lucifer returning to hell for the sake of his daughter with Chloe. And while this might mean that I am just that good at guessing TV shows (I would like to think this....) it also means that the writers set expectations, followed through on those expectations, and didn't suddenly derail everything or turn it totally on its head just for the sake of cheap shocks. As we can all attest, they certainly caused PLENTY of drama, anguish, pain, and suffering, but they did it in a way that remained faithful to the overall premises of the story and the characters, and wanted to see them become the best versions of themselves. I cried my eyes out at the end and then thought, "hey, I might want to watch the whole series again," which, if you ask me, is the mark of doing your job right. There have been so few TV endings recently where I didn't immediately swear off the whole thing or have to pretend that canon didn't exist, so yeah.

As I said, it was just refreshing to watch something that had that essential deep generosity at its core, where the message is that everyone is worthy of love if they make the hard and painful effort to change and become better, and that even if earthly things feel small next to all this messy celestial drama, they still matter, and that you are loved no matter what. I loved that Amenadiel became God and Lucifer returned to hell as a choice in order to help all the trapped souls be able to work through their guilt and go to heaven. There were obviously certain echoes of The Good Place in that ending; I don't know if it was something they had planned all along or if the success of TGP, another series asking deep questions about life, death, morality, and human nature within the framework of a goofy heaven-and-hell sitcom, influenced it, but either way, it worked so well. Even if it tore my heart out and stomped on it on the ground, it was fitting and oh so lovely to see Lucifer, once the most selfish being in the entire universe, following in Linda's footsteps and becoming selflessly dedicated to helping other people. Just. Chef's kiss.

And of course, Deckerstar. The Hades and Persephone vibes were IMMACULATE this season, and while it did take Lucifer and Chloe the best part of four seasons to get together, they never significantly backslid, never had third-party issues or cheap cheating storylines once they were officially a couple, and Tom Ellis and Lauren German REALLY killed it this season in particular. It was never easy for them and sometimes the drama went on a little too long over the course of said six seasons, but the love story was beautiful and incredibly meaningful and always true to the fact that the actors and characters and writers (not to mention the fans) all loved it so much. They were so much the emotional heart of this, and when they went to hell together in episode 6x03 (where they turned into cartoons because wHAT even IS this show), Joe Henderson said in an interview that this was to give the fans a view into Lucifer and Chloe's future (after) lives post-6x10, and to offer them a basis to write fanfiction. I mean... the showrunner saying to the fans "here, we love you, have something to write fic about!" is likewise pretty shockingly rare. It's again an example of how this show always audaciously poked fun at itself, never took itself TOO seriously, and was always welcoming its fans and the people who loved it to do so, rather than making them feel stupid or taking joy in wrecking beloved characters or plots.

Obviously, I loved Rory, the badass lesbian half-angel goth Deckerstar child straight out of My Immortal (seriously, she was SO edgy, it was amazing), because of the fact that Lucifer's entire arc was always about feeling abandoned by his father and that he was going to have to face it for himself. Dorky Devil Dad Lucifer trying his absolute HARDEST to bond with his daughter was simultaneously hilarious, adorable, and heart-wrenching, and yet again, the Growth. We all remember when he could barely tolerate Trixie touching him, and now we're here. Also, any variation whatsoever of "this is just a brief moment of time that we must be apart, love is eternal and stronger than death and we will never really leave each other" as a line is guaranteed to make me bawl my eyes out. So that was fun.

I got a big kick out of Ghost Dan running around and trying to get everyone to see him, and had feelings about seeing him in heaven with Charlotte and his beloved Pudding Pops at the end. I had feelings about how they handled Ella finding out the truth (or rather demanding to know why nobody had told her) and of course, I obviously loved Maze and Eve and their goth/femme wedding and the fact that they got a good three-season romantic arc (indeed, I wanted more of them). My god, Trixie is SO BIG, she used to be a tiny little nugget. I love that Linda was the moral and emotional rock all along, from the first episode to the very last, and that Amenadiel was Deeply Vindicated when Charlie's wings appeared at his first birthday party. I love how Lucifer in s6 is absolute thousands of light years from Lucifer in s1. And as ever, Chloe was Perfect. I am happy that I spent six seasons with these characters and saw them become better, and that I was never made to feel like an idiot for trusting the writers to end everything in a beautiful and emotional way. Because, well. They did. Sure, maybe I could go back and pick at a plotline here or a detail there, but I don't terribly feel the need to do so? It might not have been perfect, but it was perfect, and I am so grateful that it existed.

#lucifer #lucifer spoilers #deckerstar #anonymous #ask

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thefanficmonster · 4 years

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Tell Me It’s Not Too Late

(Sequel to Switchblade)

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Heartbreak, Swearing

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Summary: When is it considered ‘too late’ when it comes to expressing feelings? Is there even a time limit? Is the chance only momentary - is it a second that passes you by with no possibility of returning? All Corpse can do is hope that’s not the case. Cause if it is.....he’d rather not think about that.

Requested - sort of, but not in a typical way. Thank you to all the readers of ‘Switchblade’ that wanted to see the story have an ending that’d lead to a new start. Here it is, guys! Hope it lives up to what you expected. Love you all to the moon and back. 💖💖💖

I end my stream after almost three hours of constant scares. I sigh, slipping the headset off my ears so it’s hanging around my neck. I don’t feel that fulfilling feeling that I’m always met with upon ending a stream. I look at the countless scratches and little holes on the surface of my desk - evidence of the fear and frustration I experience while playing certain games. Not all of them are caused by that, however - Coming home after possibly the most humiliating night of my life, that desk and a few other pieces of furniture suffered my wrath and are now decorated with stab wounds that were a result of uncontrollable rage, hurt, self-hatred and self-pity. It took me a while to put an end to my hazardous, switchblade wielding rampage throughout my house, but the tears didn’t stop until the early morning hours.

I didn’t care that my feelings weren’t reciprocated. That was and is the least of my troubles. The most amount of hurt comes from the fact that I ruined something wonderful for myself. Corpse is the only person I’ve felt this close to all my life and now, due to my own poor decision making, I no longer have him. He no longer wants to be a part of the shit-show that is my life. Especially not now that he knows how messy things get when I show my forever-hidden feelings. I can’t blame him. I know I’d be running for the hills if I were him. He deserves a person who knows what’s going on in their life. Who has themselves and their surroundings figured out. Not someone who has an irregular streaming schedule and catches feelings for her best friend, ruining the friendship altogether in the process.

As I stand up from my chair, accidentally hitting the handle of the switchblade on the edge of my desk. I look down at it and how tightly I’m holding it. I seem to not be able to let go of it. Almost like I see it as my last bit of link to Corpse. The remnants of the connection I felt between us.

Maybe I should return it.

No, that’d be weird. I’d either have to go over there and give it back or send it via mail which is worse. It just feels like a harsh gesture - mailing something so meaningful as though it’s as worthless as the bills people get in the mail. I can’t send it through others, I don’t want anyone else getting involved. The more people know, the more real it is.

I’m aware I’m being both overdramatic and irrational, but you have to understand how much pain I’m in. I can’t guarantee the pain will go away or even lessen if I let this switchblade go, but it’s the only thing I haven’t tried.

Only problem is - I can’t let it go. I can’t find it in me to destroy it or throw it away. A part of me is willing to take the suffering of keeping it just cause it wants to hold on to that little connection it resembles. It’s evidence it existed to begin with. I believe it’s worth the pain. The hurt will go away eventually, but the memories are forever. I’ll look back at the time I had an amazing person such as Corpse to call ‘best friend’ and I’ll have something to prove to myself that it wasn’t a fever dream.

“Oh for fuck’s sake.“ I mumble as I finally uncurl my fingers from around the damn thing and put in down on my desk.

I take the headset off and proceed to head out onto the balcony to light what I call a ‘stress cigarette’. I’m not a regular smoker, but when everything just caves, I prefer to resort to a quick puff rather than grabbing a drink. I can say no to a second cigarette but not to a second drink. That second will then turn into a third and so on. And I don’t trust myself when drunk. I don’t personally know, but I’ve been told I’m rather unpredictable.

For the first few seconds while I’m standing there I don’t notice the pouring rain by some strange miracle. I can only focus on the chill of the breeze and the fresh breath that’s finally entering my lungs. I take a moment to breathe in the cool air before I start mixing it with the cigarette smoke.

With my eyes closed, I hear more than I feel the rain on me. Storm noises always distract me from the actual storm, they calm me down. However, the sudden loud thunder causes me to open my eyes in a matter of milliseconds. I frown, slightly upset that I didn’t catch glimpse of the lightning that the thunder probably followed.

I’m not upset for too long, though. A lightning flashes right opposite me, creating the most mesmerizing of pattern you can see in the night sky during a storm. It’s so bright, it allows me to see my whole, usually unlit garden perfectly in that second or two it graces the sky.

Wait

My balcony has a clear view of my entire front yard and all it takes a glance to the left to be able to see the front doorstep.

Don’t freak yourself out, it’s just a trick of the light

I stay quiet and as still as a statue as I await another flash of lightning, my heart speeding past the point of a healthy pulse and into the realm of a near heart attack. The storm seems to be on my side because maybe a minute later another lightning bolt cuts through the black of the night.

Sure enough, there’s a person standing outside my front door.

Fuck, what do I do?!

The person doesn’t appear to be moving. They are standing just as still as I am, facing towards the house.

I thank the universe the lights inside the house are off. I turned them off cause I wanted the ultimate scary experience playing that game. The only light is the faint glow of my computer screen which is, thankfully, barely visible. I slowly start backing up towards the sliding glass door, never taking my eyes off the figure that I can just barely make out now that my surroundings have fallen into darkness again. If it weren’t for the lightning I would’ve never been able to see them.

I manage to get back inside, soaked as though I just got out of a pool, without making a single sound. Just to be safe, I shut my monitor off. I grab my phone to use as a flashlight in one hand and the switchblade just finds its way into the other, my fingers curling around it tightly, more on instinct than to use as a weapon. I know I probably won’t be able to stab whoever’s out there.

I tiptoe my way down the stairs where all the lights are also off. I flick the blade out as I hesitantly and shakily make my way to the door to look through the peephole. I let out an unsteady exhale as I look at the the figure who is now standing further away and seems to have one arm in the air, curled at the elbow.

Just as I’m about to pull away from the door to dial 911 another flash of lightning illuminates the yard, the figure along with it.

Can we go back to it being an intruder?

It’s no intruder, surprisingly - to my dismay.

I turn my phone’s flash off and reach for the switch next to the door, flicking the light on before opening the door and walking out.

“I NEARLY STABBED YOU WITH YOUR OWN BLADE!“ I yell in a desperate attempt to be heard over the waterfall of rain.

I can finally see him properly thanks to the light in my hallway. He looks like he hasn’t slept in years. He has his hood up but his black locks are sticking out in every direction from under the soaked material, not being protected from the droplets whatsoever. I read the shock in his eyes, almost like he didn’t know I lived there. He doesn’t make an attempt to approach or walk away from me so we just stand there, in the rain, staring at each other as though it’s the first time we’ve seen one another.

I snap out of the trance he has put me in, shaking my head at the ridiculousness of the situation as I step towards him, grabbing onto his wrist, “Come on, we look like drowned rats.” I don’t give him time to react as I drag him inside, closing the door once we enter. “OK, from the top now: Why were you embracing your inner serial killer on my front porch?” I keep blabbering, diverting my gaze to anything but him. “Fucking hell, I could’ve stabbed you! You could’ve gotten really badly hurt! I -...”

“You know, I wish you stabbed me.“ He finally puts an end to my sorry excuse for frustration, I’m aware I look and sound miserable. His voice drags my eyes straight to his, fixing them there. “I know you can’t kill a cockroach on your own, and I know you most definitely wouldn’t even scratch a person, but I wish you had hurt me. Inflict fifty stab wounds on me and you still won’t hurt me as much as I hurt you.“ His hand swiftly pushes the hood off his head, grabbing onto his drenched locks as an expression of pain paints itself on his face. He’s the one diverting his gaze now, “I know what you mistook my silence for and I want you to get that out of your head.“

I wince at the pang in my chest, barely restraining my hand from flying up to rest over my heart, “Don’t humor me, Corpse! I’m not a child and this is not a game!”

“I’m not humoring you. I’m telling you...“ he makes a step towards me, grabbing hold of my ice cold hands, “I’m telling you I’m an asshole that freezes up when it’s least acceptable. I’m telling you I’m the worst at expressing how I feel. I’m telling you I can’t open foil. But you already knew all that. And you still liked me.“ He breaths in, refilling his lungs before continuing his rant, “I know you can be very chaotic. A real handful. A fucking tornado. But I love you. I love you as every natural disaster you represent. And if you could humor me...“ One of his hands releases mine, coming up to push a strand of hair away from my face, resting his hand on my cheek. “...by giving me one more chance. You always let me try multiple times when I stumble over what I’m trying to say. Can you do that, for me? For us?“

I let out a dramatic sigh, rolling my eyes. “If I say yes will you stop showing up like that on my doorstep?“ Of course, my primal instinct is to act tough and cool when my heart rate is once again going at the speed from back at the balcony. The skin of face and neck is red and burning hot. My eyes are rimmed with tears, I hope he doesn’t notice.

“Yeah. I’ll start coming in through the chimney instead.“ He visibly relaxes, a smile dancing at the corner of his lips. He lifts the hand that’s still holding the switchblade, prying it out of my grasp. “No sharp objects, please.”

He drops it in the pocket of his hoodie, finally leaning down to erase any last bit of doubt I have left. This kiss teaches me a lot of things.

Love isn’t linear - nothing about it is linear. Not falling in nor falling out of it. Feelings aren’t digital or binary - it’s not always as black and white as we might want to believe. Feelings don’t just come and go. They are always present, but it depends on us weather they’re suppressed or expressed. We fear the latter cause we fear vulnerability and change. But we also crave the positive outcome we have a 50% chance of getting. It’s a fifty-fifty game, but here’s the thing: if you never express your feelings it’s a zero-a hundred chance that you won’t receive the outcome you’d like.

I took the fifty over the zero chance and regretted it for a day or two. It gave me closure if nothing more. It let me stand under the spotlight and carry my pride on my shoulders despite the tears in my eyes.

My feelings being reciprocated is just another benefit. But no longer being able to call Corpse ‘best friend’ cause he’s now got a bigger and better title is the positive outcome I have been dreaming of.

He makes it all worth it. He is worth all of it.

And if I had to go through all that again, you can bet your ass I would.

@susceptible-but-siriusexual @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @hacker-ghost @itsminniekat @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios @maehemscorpyus @loraleiix @letsloveimagines @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help @enigmaticmaze @divine-artemis

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