#like i don't know how to describe how hard i have to rein in the urge to

[tls123]

no bond is stronger than that of gifmakers on tumblr dot com

[666writingcafe]

The Adventure Begins

Levi's overacting. Again. The only reason it wasn't obvious during the school play was because Simeon kept him reined in. Levi gets excited quite easily, and it causes him to get lost in whatever role he's playing.

I'll have to ask Simeon, but I don't think he intended the Lord of Shadow to act so...dramatically? badly? I don't know how to describe it, really. It just isn't very good.

Unlike MC. I'm not sure why I like their acting better, especially since they're currently matching Levi's energy. Maybe it's because they're intentionally hamming it up. They did mumble an apology to me before they started talking to him, after all, so they must know that Levi's acting isn't the best.

Satan's isn't much better, either. He's not as over-the-top as Levi, but I don't find him convincing as the "villain" of this story. If anything, he'd make a good anti-hero, but Solomon probably didn't want to make things too complicated.

Solomon's not a very good author.

However, I'm choosing to keep all this to myself, because the point of all this is to help MC get their first star. Lucifer, on the other hand, is having a hard time suspending his disbelief. So, I understand why MC told him to shut up. I just hope they're prepared to get their ass handed to them once Lucifer's back to normal size, because while he has a soft spot for MC, he doesn't like being silenced. Messes with his pride.

Speaking of which...the stars.

They represent the seven virtues, which are direct opposites of our sins. For me, that virtue is temperance. Solomon probably knows this, but he may not realize the full extent of my relationship with temperance.

Once upon a time, I was able to control myself and my urges. Until I wasn't. For my brothers, their sin was triggered by specific events; that wasn't the case for me. It just...happened. And I didn't realize it until it was too late.

Now, it's what most people know me for. They think I'm a meathead that only thinks about food. Even my brothers.

Which isn't fair.

Why are they allowed to have complex personalities, but not me? Why can they participate in mentally stimulating activities, while I'm cast off to the side and dismissed as too dumb to understand any of it? It's never made sense to me.

I think that's part of why I like MC so much. They're the first person in a really, really long time that sees me beyond my sin. They actually listen to what I have to say and seem to value my opinion, even if it's not related to food or sports.

Yet somehow, deep inside, I don't fully trust them. I think it's coming from my subconscious. Somewhere in there lives a hurt angel that feels like everyone he cares about will die and leave him behind. And in a way, it's true.

Lilith may have been the only person in our little family that actually lost their life, but my brothers barely resemble what they were in the Celestial Realm. It's weird. They wear the same faces, but they're completely different people. Sometimes, I feel like they're complete strangers, or perhaps taken over by aliens.

Oddly, the one person I can rely on to stay the same is Satan. Then again, he didn't have his own form until we arrived in the Devildom, so this version of him is all I've ever known.

"Beel?"

Shit.

I missed a lot, didn't I?

"Are you okay? You seem out of it."

"I could say the same to you." Why is that the first thing that comes out of my mouth? I sound like a jerk.

MC merely sighs as they sit next to me on the...bed? I take a proper look at my surroundings and realize that we're in a hotel room of some kind. Lucifer appears to be sleeping on the nightstand, using tissues as both pillow and blanket.

"Wanna go first, or shall I?" Interesting question. They don't seem upset at me.

"Your call." MC rests their head on my shoulder.

"Simeon needs my help making an important decision." Their tone indicates something serious.

"With what?" MC sighs again.

"His future." Huh? Why would an angel need a human's help with that? I know that the two of them are fairly close, but still.

"But that's neither here nor there," they quickly add, sighing. "It's not like I can do anything about it now." They glance up at me. "What's on your mind?"

"My past."

"As an angel?" I nod.

"Back then, the only thing that mattered to people was that I was strong. I wanted to be useful, so I decided to become a soldier and fight for the Celestial Realm. Problem was, I had trouble controlling my powers."

"Like I did before receiving the Ring?"

"You know, I hadn't really thought about it until you said it, but yeah. I suppose we have that in common. In your case, everyone had your back, which is good, because I wouldn't have wanted you to go through that experience the way I did." MC sits up and properly looks at me.

"What do you mean?"

"Every time I would destroy something--even though most of the time it was a complete accident--Raphael would make some sort of sarcastic remark about it. I think he started calling me the Hulk at one point, but it was meant as an insult." I pause.

"At least he had the decency to do it to my face. Lots of angels would talk shit about me behind my back. They thought I was too stupid to pick up on it, but I knew. They acted overly sweet towards me whenever I would walk in the room. Condescending, even. It was like I was a dumb kid to them." MC places a hand on my thigh and pats it.

"Sounds depressing," they remark.

"It was. Oddly enough, the one person in authority that didn't treat me that way was Lucifer. I initially thought he was too busy with his duties to really care about much else, but then one day he approached me and started talking to me. We had a legitimate conversation."

"About?"

"He told me to keep in mind that being a Celestial Realm soldier wasn't about attacking--"

"--but protecting." We must have woken Lucifer up. "You had the power to protect everyone--to keep them safe--and that you shouldn't feel bad because you were special. If you learned to control your powers, I'd recommend you to the cherubim and have you serve as a Celestial Realm gatekeeper. You did, and so I kept my promise." Lucifer beckons MC to pick him up and bring him closer to me.

"MC and I may be connected by the Ring of Light, but the two of you have a strong connection as well," he continues. "You're both motivated by the need to protect the ones you love, even if it means sacrificing yourself in the process. Drawing on that similarity is going to be the key to pass Solomon's test."

"Are you saying Solomon knew we had that in common?" MC asks incredulously.

"No. I did. I simply passed the knowledge along to him."

"How long--"

"The rooftop."

"Of Dogi Magi?" I'm glad MC understands what he's referring to, because I'm completely lost. Must have been something I wasn't involved with.

"You knew that Belphie would hurt you if you went against his order to reject me, but you did it anyway."

"I didn't want to lie to you."

"Because that would have meant hurting his feelings." Asmo may have used his powers to pick up on Lucifer's crush on MC early on, but I knew pretty much from the moment they set eyes on each other. Granted, he was more attracted to their soul initially, but who could blame him? It was bright and shiny, even back then. If we weren't under orders to not eat them, then they wouldn't have made it out of the assembly hall alive. Even Diavolo was struggling to contain himself.

Anyway, the point is MC cared enough about Lucifer in that moment to feel the need to protect him.

Just like I felt the need to protect Lucifer after I became a cherub.

MC's going to get their star.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Hades x Reader || Drabble

Plot: Zeus comes over to visit, and meets you.

Warnings: The Olympic Family?

"And you must be the mortal that's taken my brother's interest for so long! Nice to meet ya!" You can only describe Zeus' voice as booming as it reverberates off the echoey surfaces in the Underworld, exactly like thunder. It’s not a surprise, that's what they always said he would be like, but it is rather distressing still, and you only just manage to hold your hand out for him to shake through your surprise; Eyes wide.

"Uhm... yes- "

He shakes, not exactly hard, but large and he just about lifts your much smaller form right off your feet on the up part. "Oh!" You end up much closer to the god then you intended, and he doesn't let go of your tiny hand until Hades comes up behind you and guides you back; A nasty, forced grin on his face.

"Okay, okay bro... hands off the merchandise. This one’s mine."

Relaxing under Hades' hands and no longer in Zeus', you offer a warm smile. "It’s nice to meet you too, sir." Oh- you can tell exactly how much Hades dislikes you calling Zeus sir, by the twitch one of his hands gives on your shoulder and the flicker of heat he suddenly emits, but you aren't about to disrespect the king of the gods - despite being loud and slightly creepy,- so Hades is just going to have to suck it up.

"Yeah yeah yeah- Glad to see you two finally meet, and all that. So hey- Zeus- what are you doing here?" Hades asks, almost in monotone- clearly not caring whether he sounds rude or not. You look over your shoulder and up at him with a calm down crazy, kind of look on your face- but he's too busy keeping steady eye contact, with Zeus.

Rolling your eyes, you give a sigh. Men.

Zeus doesn't seem to notice the hostility though, funnily enough, and waives Hades' question off with a large arm. "Oh, Hera's redecorating our chambers- once again. So I thought to myself, why not come visit my brother in the Underworld! Huh?"

For a good moment Hades just sputters, and you wince. Oh boy...

"Huh?" He repeats, sounding weak. He starts rubbing his thumbs into your skin out of nervousness, and it feels nice of course, but it is a dead giveaway that he's close to losing it. By shifting your shoulders subtly, you remind him that theirs a person he rather likes underneath them, and not be too brutal. "How- And um, how long is the... redecorating effort, gonna take doya think? Because, bro, I'm more than happy to help out! Send over some minions, ya know, move it along- "

"Oh, pish." Zeus gives a shake of his head, patting Hades hard on the shoulder. "Hades, you're too charitable. She's got it! Now- why don't you show me around this big ol place?? Can’t believe I've never been here! Ha ha!"

As you feel Hades start to reach a dangerously high temperature, you slip out of his hands and take the reins of the situation, yourself. "What a good idea! We could start with the throne room- "

"Do you have a possible estimate for how long its gonna take, huh? 2-3 hours? A day???" God forbid it be more.

Zeus thankfully ignores his brother this time, though, eyes not-so-thankfully- on you. "Whatever you say, mortal, I'm at your mercy. The throne room sounds wonderful."

As you point Zeus in the correct direction and he starts a jolly saunter that way, you stay back a couple feet to touch Hades’ arm and- oh, ow, shit- yes. Boiling point.

"Run me some numbers!!"

… This is going to be a long night.

[n0tamused]

Hello, sorry if this request doesn’t make sense but I was wondering if you could do headcanons for Tighnari, Alhaitham, Cyno, and Kaveh (you can just pick one if that’s to many) with a reader who has a younger sister who’s like 14 who that they take care of since they don’t have parents, thank you for your time

A/n: Hello! My apologies for this taking so long, some things ended up popping up. But, I do hope you enjoy these. Just them interacting with your sister. Wholesome stuff. I didn't include Kaveh in this one, simply because I don't feel too secure yet in writing him, but once I know him better I'll see to do a follow up 👀 These are not completely proof read

Characters: Tighnari, Cyno, Al-Haitham

__________________________________________

Tighnari:

- Tighnari is arguably the best when it comes to dealing with anyone young. He's got the patience and the needed gentle, but sturdy hand. It's like this with pretty much any kid he comes across, but seeing how close he is with you he takes this even more seriously

- He's caring with your sister from the start, politely introducing himself to her and starting a relaxing chit-chat with her while you go about your business if you're in a rush. He really doesn't mind watching over her as long as he's not in a pinch with the rangers and patrols

- She reminds him of Collei, in a way. He doesn't quite understand why but he pinpoints it onto their shared curiosities for his work. Both girls seem to linger at his back and watch him (and his ears) as he handles plants and papers. He indulges them a little, having them believe that he has not noticed on their clear spying

- Tighnari shares his knowledge with your sister, he enjoys it truly. He loves to share the knowledge that may as well help an individual out - and if your sister decides she wants to be a ranger or some form of biologist, you have Tighnari to blame, or thank. He brings out some specimens to show her if a physical presentation is necessary, or he recommends books for her to read if she's willing to delve further into the subject

- Isn't surprised when she eventually asks to pet his ears or rub his tail. He could practically hear her thoughts when she first met him, but she seemed to refrain from asking on the first meeting. Tighnari would bow down slightly or instruct her to climb up higher if she is really short, and even if she tugged a little, he wouldn't seriously scold her, just warn her not to do it again. Tighnari gives her a small warning just to not be too rough beforehand and that "It's just like any dog or cat's ears", but your sister just seems to find his ears the most special

- It is also no issue if your sister has to stay with him for some time, nights or even weeks if Mora is tight, he would help you both out in any way he can. He has Collei to keep your sister company too, since there is so much he can do as an older person in your sister's life. Collei and she seem to get along very well, so there is no issue regarding their friendship

Cyno:

- Now, it takes Cyno quite some time to come around to have the time to meet your sister. So all she knew about him was what she could hear from merchants or Akademiya students. All the terrible rumors also stick, so it's no wonder when she appears to be too nervous to meet him when you brought it up. She would need some confirmation and encouragement that, no, General Mahamatra is not as the boogeyman most describe him as

- Cyno may come off as unfeeling on the first go, as he is the man of analytical mind and one that isn't too in-tune with his emotions naturally, but also since his job does not allow for such soft sympathies. So the conversation may feel a bit tense or awkward when he sees that his ways are pulling too hard on the reins, and that your sister is tense or even uncomfortable

- He would definitely crack several jokes to cheer her up, and somehow- miraculously - your sister feels at ease when Cyno rushes to tell the jokes and explain them. Her laugh brings a wave of relief to Cyno, he may even mutter something and just exhale loudly before indulging in some food to take a reprieve. This man has the best intentions - please, give him a hand, he is a bit slow with sentimental things

-Now, for later interactions between him and your sister, they all become a lot more casual and friendly, your sister would put a lot of trust in him. If his reputation was not enough to guarantee reliability, the friendship they build over time is. She is much more often with him, and some may look weirdly at your sister and Cyno if they see her talking her mouth off about some off-topic with him wearing a faint smile as they go to find you

-It is a cute sight honestly. And also - Cyno has a habit of picking up small trinkets on his way. It can be anything small as a crystalized shard from the dunes, or some luxurious looking missing vase from the forest, and he brings them all back to you and your sister - giving more romantic gifts to you behind your sister's back

Al-Haitham:

-Is the most jaded out of these three. He is not easily affected by emotions, and as such he can come off as quite rude to others around him, or too strict or too stern. It takes him the longest to get the gist of the kids these days, but he does try. He is incredibly understanding despite outwards impressions, and he understands the struggles you both are going through and he does try his best when he ends up with your sister in his care

-Taking the analytical approach all the time proves not to be affective all the time - and this is something Al-Haitham gets to understand later down the line as he gets closer to your sister

-Similar to Cyno, he attempts to remedy awkward situations with some form of jokes, but his humor at the start just is too stern for a child. His jokes needs more working on than Cyno's. But Al-Haitham is adaptable, and he picks up the humor of the kids at that time and slowly this goes into his advantage when he tells these jokes and funny riddles to your sister

-He is quite protective of your sister from the get-go. Seeing as she is an important part of your family, the last of it, he takes it very, very seriously that your sister is safe and out of harms way. Although the other two on this list are also very defensive of your sister, they are much more calm about it and more casual

-Al-Haitham is very observant, and when you sister is in his care he always has his eyes on her, he makes sure she stays in his field of vision where the space is clear and if any changes happen that could be harmful - he would know

- Just as willing to lend his hand in academic knowledge on all sorts of topics. If you woke him up in the night to ask him about all sorts of academic positions within the Akademiya and what they all do, he would break out into an explanation without any questions, and would go to sleep right afterwards. So if your sister came to him for help, he would do his best to simplify the knowledge so she can better understand. He is very open to any questions, but if your sister did end up asking some silly question he would give her a silly answer before elaborating further, unless she caught onto it herself

_______________________________

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[handsome-john]

Perception - Philip Deering stands in the middle of the hallway, mopping the floor, which is his job after all. Most people know to side step him and stay out of his way. He occasionally mumbles a few words to his 'friend' in the water's reflection.

Suggestion - You'd like to talk to him. You're more similar than you'd like to believe.

Logic - You want to know more about yourself, more about us if anything. His insight might be of some help to you.

Rhetoric - it doesn't have to be a big deal, just say something.

You - "Hi."

P. Deering - "Hi?"

Rhetoric - okay, say a little more than that.

You - "How do you deal with it?"

P. Deering - "Huh?"

You - "You know, it-" you make a vague gesture towards 'Doug'. "Its constant talking?"

Perception - the mirror monster's mouth moves slowly, speaking words only Deering can hear.

Inland Empire [Impossible: Failure] - I couldn't even begin to guess.

P. Deering - He shrugs. "I just got used to it."

Inland Empire - there's more to it than that, 20 years of constant companionship and you're bound to grow comfortable with anything.

You - "I've been hearing you fucks for twice that and I'm not comfortable with shit."

Empathy - Deering looks at you with cold indifference, which is slightly more than the vitriol you're used to.

Rhetoric - Get to the point, please.

You - "I hear voices sometimes."

Reaction Speed - He blanches.

Half Light [Formidable: Failure] - oh this sucks.

You - "I said that weird. Uh- god why is this so hard." You knock your knuckles against your forehead.

Empathy - you're making him uncomfortable.

You - "You're all so helpful today."

Logic - Take a deep breath and try again.

Half Light - or leave. Leaving is an option.

You - "I'm kind of always hearing voices, God knows they won't shut up. I've heard them since I was a little kid and there's always more of them I swear."

P. Deering - "Okay... Why are you telling me this?"

Suggestion [Trivial: Failure] - why are you telling him this?

You - "Because- you've been dealing with this freak for 2 decades now and you seem to handle it so well. I can't even rein in one of these voices."

P. Deering - He stays quiet for several minutes before breaking into laughter.

Empathy [Medium: Success] - he's not laughing at you.

P. Deering - "Sorry - sorry. You're the first person who's ever described me as handling anything well. What are your- uh- voices like?"

Rhetoric - this is good, he's listening at least.

Drama - spill your woes to him, sire, show our genuinity!

Suggestion - keep it chill though, don't freak him out.

You - "They won't shut up." You laugh, self deprecatingly. "There's a lot of them. They're not mean- well some are but not all of them. They just... Say anything. It's like my entire life has a commentary track that I can talk back to."

P. Deering - He nods. You're not sure what that means.

You - "I guess I thought - you know with your- that thing - you'd have some advice? For getting used to the voices?"

P. Deering - "Only you would come to me for advice." He pauses. "I guess- i dunno, I'm not real good at this..."

Empathy - he's worried about saying something wrong and letting you down.

You - "it's fine- I think I more just- needed to say something, and you seem like you'd get it."

P. Deering - he smiles. "Well- I guess I'm glad i was- comforting? To you? This is weird - you're not weird I'm weird."

You - you chuckle awkwardly. "No- you can say I'm weird. I'll take it."

Espirt De Corps - I think they call a mutual understanding.

You - "Where the fuck did you come from?"

[tower-girl-anon]

Tarot Birth Cards

Today, the post will be different. Instead of talking about astrology, I will focus on tarot cards. Especifically, in the mayor arcanas that influence us from our birthday and throughout our lives. Each one of us has, usually, two mayor arcanas and those cards have an especific meaning so, taking into account what I've learned and my intuition, I will try to describe as best as possible the themes that will sorround you according to your birth cards.

As always, take this with a grain of salt since this is made just for fun, I hope it resonates with you and please don't copy or share this post without giving credits.

How to calculate your birth cards:

Write down the numbers of your birth day

Example: 27/10/2022

2. Add all the numbers together until there's only a single digit. In other words, calculate your life path number.

Example: 2+7+1+0+2+0+2+2 = 16 = 1+6 =7

3. Based on the result of your number, it will give you 2 mayor arcanas that will influence you throughout your life. Down here is the list according to the number:

1-The Magician, The Wheel and The Sun.

2-The High Priestess, Justice and Judgment.

3-The Empress, The Hanged Man and The World.

4-The Emperor and Death.

5-The Hierophant and Temperance.

6-The Lovers and The Devil.

7-The Chariot and The Tower.

8-Strengh and The Star.

9-The Hermit and The Moon.

Note: for those who have master numbers (11, 22, 33) as life paths, just add those numbers until you have a single digit.

The Magician, The Wheel and The Sun.

You were born with the powerful gift of manifestation (this ability comes naturally to you), of building something meaningful or big from scratch, a bright and contagious personalty along with the ability to live through the constant cycles of life with relative ease. Just like the number 1 in numerology, you are natural leaders that wants to take the reins of your own destiny. With thar charismatic energy, it's not a surprise that people admire you or feel brighter when you are around. With The Wheel as one of your cards, I have no doubt that you have an important life path along with lessons ahead of you in order for you to ascend. That path can not be always easy, after all...the wheels of life always changes. We move through good cycles and bad cycles. This can be one of the challenges because, if we experience bad luck, we tend to think that what we are doing is bad or you are not good enough. That's not true. But, and this is important to remember, not everything that we manifest are good for us, for our soul evolution. So that's a hard lesson that possibly come too with these cards. Be careful what you manifest. You won't now until it's too late if what you manifested is good for you or if it's going to affect negatively to other people. Sometimes, the NO of the universe is a way of protecting us or to tell us that something needs to change (like to take a different aproach). That's another hard lesson to digest, but trust that everything has it's process and that the universe and guides knows better mostly of the time.

2. The High Priestess, Justice and Judgment.

You were born with a highly intuitive nature and a strong sence of justice that possibly comes from lifetimes of experiences. That sence of justice lies in recognizing what attitude is good or bad or what is fair or not. You observe the world or a situation, you learn from the situation as a whole, you connect with your higher self and then you are able to make a judgement that is both fair and hard (if that makes sence) since, in many cases, the truth hurts. You tend to be right in almost all the cases that you see. The obstacles I see with these cards is that maybe you will be questioned a lot in regards of your sence of justice and intuition. These questions can come either from other people or through especific situations, but it will create a personal battle whithin you in regards of these topics too. For example: Was I right to tell him/her abot this even though it hurted him/her? Was my intuition right about this? Did I make right by telling what I felt was correct? Maybe you could question yourself alot about the world too. We all know these laws are injust, why do they make such a horrible decision? These questions are complex by nature, because it makes us question some abstract concepts that doesn't have a unique answer. For example: the good and bad. We all know war, in general, is bad. It kills people and afect thousand of beings that doesnt have anything to do with that conflict. And that is unfair. But many (maybe not so much in these years) see war as an opportunity to defend themself and their interest. Is that ok? I don't have the answer for that. We all see justice and the truth through different lents. But, in conclusion, I hope you were able to understand the general idea of what I wanted to say.

3. The Empress, The Hanged Man and The World.

With these cards, you carry a very femenine and nurturing energy for sure. You are able to connect easily with the rest of the world because there's an empathic energy whithin you that helps you to understand how others feel or see the rest of the world. You're emphatic with every being that exists (being that animals, plants and humans) and so creative too since the divine femenine energy is the one that creates through her imaginative, intuitive and nurturing side. The difficulties I see with these cards relates to how other people will see yourself. You could be easily admired by others with your caring heart, but others will not or they won't understand your personality or the things you do. Others will try to take advantage of this caring energy, willingly or unwillingly, and it will be a conflict for you to learn that you also need time on your own to recover and bring self-love, especially if you see someone who needs your energy. In these cases, you must remember this. Just like the earth (with The World card) you also need to move through cycles. The earth provides a few months of abundance to us so we all can eat and the animals/plants can reproduce, and the other months she recovers her energy so she can bring enough energy to the next cycle. She puts priorities with each cycle. She provides to half of the world while she rest in the other half and vice versa.

4. The Emperor and Death.

On the contrary to the last pile, you are gifted with a powerful masculine energy. An energy that provides you with movement, action and the courage to pursue whatever you feel you need to go after. That power allows you also to move forward through different obstacles and lessons in life, no matter how hard, painful or traumatic they are. In the eyes of others, you carry an almost royalty energy with you, that's why many respect you or even feel intimidated by you just like the representation of the Death card. But there will be obstacles and lessons surrounding power, transformation and your divine masculine energy. On one hand, you will encounter situations and people who will want to eliminate the driven, passionate and powerful energy from you. They will try to block you, through different schemes, from reaching your divine masculine power. For those of you who lost their passions and energy due to others, I will tell you that no one, no matter how badly they behaved with you, can take away your power. You are more capable and powerfull than what they think you are. I support you and tell you that you are perfectly capable of using these lessons as a transformation to reach the higher power that you posses inside of you. On the other hand, if you tend to missuse your powers, you will encounter situations that will try to humble you.

5. The Hierophant and Temperance.

With The Hierophant and Temperance as your birth cards, you were born with these gifts: responsability, leadership, good team-player traits, hard-working, studious, knowleadgeable, comunicative, good teacher or coacher and so on. You were a very good student in school and/or university. If not, at the veary least you were very responsable and hard working with an eager expression to learn more. In life, I can see you working with larger companies or any buisness in general that requieres a team. Something that's coming out now in my mind is that you want either to make something meaningful to others through your work or you want your work to be meaningful to you. To fulfill you emotionally or spiritually just like the picture of the angel exchanging the liquid of one cup to the other. Maybe you really enjoy sharing your knowledge with others. The difficulties and challenges that these cards brings are complex to me for some reson. Like I can't pin point what are those challenges. Perphaps one of those resides is that maybe, with your hard working energy, you need to balance the ammount of effort you put in your work so you won't overburn yourself even though you enjoy it (this is kind of complex since most of us can't come directly to our bosses and say "I'm sorry but the ammount of work you gave me is just too much". A similar thing can be said when you have a team work project and some of them give the minimum effort or less). Another thing is learning to follow your beliefs (The Hierophant is represented by a Pope) even though many will question it. If you want to have a traditional job, find it. If you want a traditional marriage and role in life (meaning that, if you're a man you want to be the provider while the woman takes charge of the children and vice versa), you can do that. As long as you don't force it into other people and communicate your needs healthily, who cares is somebody else thinks you are so conservative or outdated to the actual times?

6. The Lovers and The Devil.

This is a little similar to the number 3 pile. Those of you who have this cards, you are an incredible and loving person. You either, or tend to give unconditional love to everyone even though many of them treat you as shit or abuse of your kindness with possesiveness, blackmail or other things, or you act with love even in the most hardest situations. I have the feeling that you are someone who really values love and want to find someone who will bring it to you someday. Do you believe in soulmes, twin flames or karmics? The lessons for those who have both cards are this: to recognize what truly is unconditional love. I feel that many of you will face karmic connections surrounding this topic, because, since many of you belives that, despite how badly someone treates you, they can still change with care and love, you will have to realize that you can't change people. No matter how much you feel about them, they are certain actions that doesnt resonates with those that we call unconditional love. Treat you as an object is not unconditional love. Insulting you daily or getting mad at you daily it's not either. Hitting you it's definetly not. Even though I believe than akin souls can help others to change for the better (I've seen it), they must choose to heal and change for themselves first before aproaching you and having a relationship with you. You just can't be with someone who doesnt want to put the same effort as you. And it is ok to say no or put boundaries with someone who doesnt respect you (this doesn't have to be romantic per se, it can be friends or family too) because, if you allow them to do it, you wouln't be loving yourself first. And that is another huge lesson with these cards.

7. The Chariot and The Tower.

For those who have the number 7 as the results, you were gifted in this lifetime with the ability to move forward despite the conflicts or tower moments we experience. In our spiritual evolution through multiple incarnations, we build some fundations, belief, ways of living (tower) based on our experiences. But, just like any new human construction, before anything can be used, there must be some tests to check the bases, the infrastructure and all that staff. If our building has weak or innapropiate stones, the most dangerous result will be the colapsing of the tower. That´s why there are going to be obstacules and tests in our journey. Because we must check how stable or strong our tower is. If the stones we used are good enough or if we must replace some of them for better ones. And you all can do it. You know why? Because you also have the Chariot. A powerful figure riding a chariot and guiding to horses (white and black). Our human and spiritual side, our good and bad side, our logical and emotional side. We all can move forward with our Chariot to build a strong fundation, a strong legacy, just like it can be seen in the Rider Tarot, in which there is a city behind the man in the chariot.

8. Strength and The Star.

In this life, you were granted the gift of resistance, spiritual knowledge, inspiration, beliefs, and, obviously, strength. A woman is embracing a lion, considered one of the most powerful animals since many centuries ago. Even in the literary tradition, the most powerfull warriors were portreyed as someone who were able to tame, fight or kill a lion. Those who were not able to do that, were considerer cowards. This was the case of the Cantar de Mio Cid. Now, the lion can be interpretated as the sign of Leo in astrology (ruled by the sun), so it can clearly indicates that you are someone who holds strongly to their likes, beliefs, dreams, ambitions and so on. One of the main obstacles or troubles I see with this cards is that you will encounter many situatios in which your strengh will be tested. Maybe you will face setbacks, delays, rejections or any type of situation that will make you question your worth, the worth of your dreams or if your wasting your time pursuing something that seems impossible to achieve. That's not impossible and you are capable of doing it, just keep believing in it. If it's meant for you, it will reach you. Just don't forget to go with the flow like the figure in The Star card, which is throwing the water of his/her cup into the waters of a river while the stars shine above him/her. That is also a lesson that you are meant to learn. In order for your manifestation to arrive, you must loose a little bit the grip of control and let the universe take charge of it. Like I've said, what is meant for you will find the way towards you.

9. The Hermit and The Moon.

For those whose numbers ended in the number 9, these cards signals either a very old soul, or at least someone who is not afraid to be on solitude to meditate of different topics in life. Thia ability allows you to connect with the higher wisdom. With The Moon card, it also shows someone who is very much conected to his/her emotional or imaginative side. Memories, feelings and the past can be something that you really think about when you are alone. One of the conflicts that these cards gives to those who have it is, in my opinion, being to much on solitude or lost in their emotions/imagination. Being able to connect with the self is an essential part of our journey. It allows us to discover, through our memories and feelings, part of our esence as well as connect with the world, but, being so lost in a hermit state can produce us to loose contact with reality. Yes, sometimes the real world sucks and we prefer to imagine something better in our minds or just feels scary (especially to those who had bad experiences in the past), but being so much on your own will prevent you to create real experiences. To connect with real people who are worth meeting. Another problem could be that you carry wisdom whithin you, but you are afraid to share it with the world since you could believe that they are just fantasies or some result of your imagination and that's just not true. You have real wisdom. Never feel fear towards that topic because you know things and those are equally valid and worth listening to as well as the wisdom of any other person.

Wow...hahahaha. This post took me longer than I expected, but I hope it resonated with some of you.

I send you love and light to all of you.

Tower Girl Anon

Credits to the owner of the pictures: Ferol Humphrey and Dreamstime.

[aroaceconfessions]

I know that this isn't an uncommon experience, but I want to know if any other alloromantics struggle with a sense of feeling valid in the community or not and how they deal with it.

I know that I'm at the very least bi/panromantic and before I came to figuring out I was also ace, it felt nice in a way I don't think I can really explain. Now that I'm in this weird state with figuring out my place in the community, it feels a bit hard to not water down or overthink things like attraction and what it all means because, for some reason, admitting that I may have romantic feelings for someone invalidates or revokes my ace card.

I mean, if that's the case at all.

I don't know if maybe it isn't that at the heart of it, that I do experience some form of romantic attraction still. Probably not sexual attraction super strongly, but romantically speaking, sure. Instead, it's dismissing my own feelings out of the fear of facing down the idea that maybe I don't have just deeply platonic or alterous feelings for a friend like I thought so long ago and it's just hard to describe. But rather, it's that maybe I've really fallen head over feet for them and shaming myself is a way to pull the reins back - both for my own sake and protecting our friendship because they're so important to me.

"You're ace. You aren't supposed to feel this way. God, you're such a creep."

I know QPRs exist (I'm in one) and I can at least be honest with myself that if they ever reciprocated some kind of feelings for me or expressed interest in pursuing such a thing, I'd absolutely say yes [while also keeping my current partner in the loop and making sure they're okay with it, as I would with the friend].

But at the same time, it's just overwhelming. I know we have a ton of language and discussions in the community about this, but there are times where I just get so tired and frustrated with not knowing who or what I am. If anyone else was in my shoes, I'd tell them there's nothing to feel guilty or ashamed over. But I can't face it myself, and I hate it.

[painfullyaverageravenclaw]

My Favorite Vtuber Songs

This list is literally only because I want a chance to infodump about covers and original songs that make me really happy.

King cover by Kuzuha

I mean,,,how could I not have King on this list. This was the first song that I heard Kuzuha sing and fell in love with his voice. To me, Kuzuha sounds the same when he sings and talks. I think that's really interesting lol

2. Excuse my rudeness but could you please RIP by Mori Calliope

Literally my favorite song by Cali. The video hurts my eyes but besides that, I like that they used her model for it! I think that was really creative.

3. Dreamin Night cover by Suntempo (Roberu Yukoku, Temma Kishido, and Astel Leda)

Holy shit this!!! Roberu rapping is everything I needed and more. Temma being all shy n shit is so cute! Not to mention Astel's deeper rapping was super cool. I need more suntempo rapping.

4. King cover by Belmond Banderas

This song was my first time hearing Bel sing and holy fucking shit I was blown away. I already like his speaking voice, finding it calming. Hearing him sing is like being blessed by the gods, sounding literally otherworldly.

5. King cover by Pavolia Reine

Holy fuck. This is the perfect remix king needed. I feel like it adds a certain edge that other covers can't achieve with just voice. Not to mention the video has a fun playfulness that adds to the edge.

6. Hope in the dark by Luxiem (Ike Eveland, Vox Akuma, Mysta Rias, Luca Kashiro, and Shu Yamino)

This right here is my favorite NijiEN group song. It's the perfect mix of something that's more on the jazzy side but has hints of pop. It scratches a certain part of my brain just right. Not to mention it spawned funny memes. I was pleasantly surprised by everyone's voices.

7. Graveyard shift by Mori Calliope ft BOOGE VOXX

Complete serotonin. This song right here makes me wish I knew japanese so I could sing along. This song packs a punch and pleases my brain so much.

8. Daddy daddy do cover by Rikka and Natsuiro Matsuri

Oh my god. Their voices blend with each other so well. Not to mention the absolutely stunning work for the art and the cute outfits Matsuri and Rikka are wearing. I hope they perform this one live.

9. Daddy daddy do cover by Oga Aaragami and Ayuna Risu

They performed this song twice with each version having one of them lead. The one I linked was Oga's but Risu's is just as beautiful. I actually forgot that the song wasn't originally jazzy because I was so used to their covers lol

10. Memeshikute cover by Kenmoshi Touya, Shellin Burgundy, and Uzuki Kou

If you want to laugh so hard you cry looking at a music video, this is it. I've laughed so hard at a music video. Especially at the end with Kanae, Kuzuha, Kagami, Yashiro, Belmold, Chaika, and Maimoto with the pom poms. You can really tell who was happy to be there and who wasn't.

11. Mitsu no Aji by Rain Drops (aka Elu, Akina Saegusa, Rushen, Suzuki Masaru, Joe Rikiichi, and Warabeda Meji)

This was my first Rain Drops experience and god do I not regret it. I wish I found them sooner so I could fully appreciate their music. I don't know if Rain Drops is retired because Meji graduated but I hope they continue to make music, even if they are missing a member.

12. Identity cover by Astel Leda and Seto Kazuya

There are no words I can use to describe how much I love this cover. I already really liked Seto's singing voice (which was one of the main reasons why I subbed to him) so hearing him with Astel was a blessing.

13. Tsunami by Finana Ryugu

When I saw that Kira helped with this song, I knew this one would be good. I love the lyrics so much. Funny enough, I don't really imagine Finana's character singing this song. I imagine a lesbian siren who seduces men for the fun of it lol

14. Doggy God's Street by Korone Inugami

I always thought Korone could sing beautifully but her rapping is another level. I love the music video too. It's so stylized and so cute! Literally my favorite art style. Plus all the little references are a nice touch too.

15. Otome Kaibou cover by Taka Radjiman

This song had made me cry more times than I'd like to admit. It's such a beautiful piece and Taka's voice really sells it. I wanna get this song tattooed in my brain I love it so much. Taka's voice to me is like a warm cup of tea while sitting in the car with the heater on waiting for someone to finish whatever they're doing so you can go home if that makes any sense.

16. Mitsu no Adji cover by Akina Saegusa

I know I put the original song on this list (and Akina is literally in the original song) but listen. Hearing Akina sing by himself makes the song much more depressing than it already is. Hearing Akina sing by himself made me want a solo cover of the song by other Rain Drops members.

17. Chronos cover by Ike Eveland

Holy fucking shit this cover right here. Ike already has a really pretty voice that feels like an angel is singing to me but hearing him go from singing to death screaming is such a switch that I didn't know I needed to hear till now.

18. Envy Baby cover by Kanae

I will never be able to fully explain how much I love Kanae's voice (and Kanae in general) and this song is what I show people when they wanna hear a vtuber cover a song. Hell, I show this cover to people who just wanna know what music I like.

19. Hail Holy Queen cover by Levi Elipha, Nagao Kei, DebiDebi Debiru, Melissa Kinreka, Genzuki Tojiro, Todoroki Kyoko, Sister Claire, Sukoya Kana, and Hayase Sou

First of, yes, this song is from Sister Act. Yes, the movie is random. Yes, there is quite a list of livers in this song. It doesn't stop it from being fucking hilarious and amazing. At first, I was so fucking confused I'm not gonna lie but it quickly grew on me.

20. Cendrillon cover by Levi Elipha and Genzuki Tojiro

Holy fucking shit this. This song makes me weep /pos. I have never been so emotionally moved randomly when listening to a song before. I had just randomly found this song one day via one of those youtube playlists and I have fallen in love with this song. I want this song played at my wedding.

21. Identity unofficial cover by Shu Yamino

Shu didn't cover this song officially but I still really think it's nice. I'm in love with Shu's voice. I hope he does an official cover of this song some time. Preferably a solo cover because I think this song is so perfect for his voice. Also support the artist because this was their fanmade MV.

22. Dizzy Dizzy cover by Kanae and Akina Saegusa

These two need to sing with each other more often I swear. Their voices compliment each other so well. Two of my favorite Nijisanji singers singing together is like a dream to me. I know Kanae and Kuzuha are like the main duo but Akina and Kanae should do more stuff together.

23. Matoryoshka cover by Akina Saegusa and Fuwa Minato

I recently found this cover and I prefer this version to the original. I also really like the artstyle that the music video is in. I like seeing this side of Akina, even if it's just in art. I would love to see more art of Akina and Fuwa based off of this cover.

24. W.I.M by Arurandeisu

Arupapa out here rapping his heart out. I was super surprised to have stumbled upon this song and fell in love with it. Holostars does not get enough recognition and I feel like Aruran's song fit's the loose casual vibes Holostars gives me.

25. Pentas by Holostars (Roberu Yukoku, Arurandeisu, Kageyama Shien, Temma Kishido, and Oga Aragami)

I love Holostars. I love them so much man.

Anyways, I'm done ranting for now. I love vtubers a lot and they have helped me through a lot. I really like ranting about livers and enjoying their dumb content.

[ryker-writes]

Congrats!! I couldn’t send this from my secondary, oh well, but I’d still like to take part in the matchup event!

Overall personality:

Really depends on who you ask. People upon meeting me for the first time tend to say I give off a serious, mature, and responsible vibe whereas those who have known me longer say that I am quirky, passionate, but assertive. I have multiple faces that I put on: one for work/professional settings, one around family, one for friends (and even so that can be split into multiple categories depending on how close I am with you). So multi-faceted is a good term to describe me, as I ‘m always adapting and changing to meet my surroundings. That also means not alot of people tend to know me, but I’m ok with that as I like distance and privacy in my personal life.

Hobbies:

Video games—otomes, gacha games, visual novels, JRPGS, and life simulators like Animal Crossing are my jam, tabletop games, musical theater, cosplay, ice skating, horseback riding, reading (historical fiction, fantasy, or gothic horror especially), listening to J-rock or alternative music.

Likes:

Spending money on gacha games, Italian food, traveling, ancient mythology and medieval history, horses, scrolling social media

Dislikes:

A lot of food as I’m a picky eater—in particular, mushrooms, bananas, seafood, and olives are big on my no list.

Cold or rainy weather. I have low cold tolerance.

***I’m also absolutely touch repulsed, so I’d like someone who isn’t too handsy or openly affectionate.

Preferences:

Someone introverted works best with me, although extroverts (to a degree) are ok too—what’s important is that they respect my need for personal space and alone time.

I don’t care about height too much.

Ideally, they can share some of my hobbies or are open to learning. They can’t be too pushy or demanding, as I tend to do things at my own pace. They may have to take the reins and be the more ‘mature’ one in the relationship at times or be able to scold or guide me in the right direction if needed.

ALSO they absolutely will have to deal with me:

Being a childish picky eater, my frequent forgetfulness and messiness, me holding grudges for the most petty of things.

Love language:

Receiving/giving gifts

I can hoard almost anything that my s/o gives me, ranging from notes to presents and basically any object given to me with good intention. It’s nice to be reminded of someone this way when they aren’t around, so I guess I’m kind of sentimental.

Thanks for doing this!

Thank you dear anon!

"Ah, the first anon matchup! I had a pretty good idea of a few people I wanted to give you, but as I kept reading, I feel I was able to narrow it down pretty well until I had two candidates to choose from. But in the end, I feel I made the right choice for you.

I'm putting you with my dear friend Ruggie!"

I was torn between Trey and Ruggie for you, but in the end I settled on Ruggie because I liked the relationship dynamics a lot more than Trey's

Ruggie loves you sooo much

for starters, he may not have very much money, but he loves to spoil you with gifts!

he sometimes works extra hard and takes an extra job or two just to get you something special

and he absolutely adores and treasures anything you get him!

Ruggie is a very respectful boi too and would absolutely only give affection that you've stated that you're comfortable with

he would never want to do something to make you uncomfortable or that you didn't like

he also has a great memory (and is kinda petty himself) so he'll totally help you remember things when you need

he loves to spend time with you while you're playing games too and he likes to listen to what you tell him about history or your games

there are times when the both of you get to act childish together, but if need be, Ruggie can be the mature one

just don't expect it to be all the time and he won't expect the same from you

generally with Ruggie, he has your back with however you're feeling that day and adjusts accordingly

pls do give him any food you don't like tho he will eat it in a heartbeat

[the-composer]

✘ What are your Favorite and Least Favorite parts of being a Composer?

✘ honesty hour. // accepting

"My favorite parts... Well, certainly one is the assurance that what I am doing is making a difference... literally life-changing. Hee hee. In all seriousness, it is deeply rewarding work. The supernal abilities are also sweet perks. Being able to tune up and down, jump between dimensions, adjust my appearance... and the whole omniscience thing is pretty neat. Oh, and the visceral preternatural connection to the city is the most intense extrasensory phenomenon I have ever and undoubtedly will ever experience. I can't describe what it's like, but I am sure you can comprehend it, being what you are. It's love and completeness like I'd never be able to grasp in a finite form.

The least favorite parts... definitely the way my mood influences my city. That's, ahh... less than ideal. It forces me to have to keep myself tightly reined-in which is doable these days, as my freakouts are minimal in comparison to how they used to be. But... I have to always be in control, and I have to always be on top of things. I don't get to clock out... not really. It's why I do sometimes sneak into other timelines because there I can be a little irresponsible. I don't have to think constantly. Whether I like it or not, I am part-human at the heart of it; being the Boss 24/7 drains even my battery.

And then there's the boredom. I have to keep innovation up, but the longer I'm in this position, the more I struggle with under-stimulation. I want to feel and that's why I chase things that might make me feel passionate.

...which leads into the last one, as you may well know by now, is the loneliness that comes with the job. No relationships with mortals, no dating humans, and very very few to understand the unique way of being for a Composer. It's... it gets hard sometimes."

[marlaluster]

The devil still attacking bad today, mostly during a walk this morning, and is also making me feel I cannot write about whatever I wish...

This is the fourth day the devil has been attacking more so than it seems he has been maybe the past month or so. The devil was noticeably forcing I felt things I did not as I went for a walk outside this morning. At one point it was forcing I thought one woman in the neighborhood I walk in was okay or something weird he was trying to force that I felt.

After I started writing here, the devil was forcing an unpleasant sense I was supposed to be who acted like I was not having things too bad here or something or that I act like I am okay here. It's hard to describe what it forced. It was something about that it's supposed to seem to me that it's not that bad here.

"I just don't wish you to keep saying that things are not okay here," the devil said.

"I don't wish you to tell I was attacking during your walk. It is affirmation of something known," the devil said after I added something above at a point I wrote here. I don't remember what I added, but it wasn't that I went for a walk.

The devil is making me have a weird feeling about writing today where I feel like I am restricted from writing about certain things.

"I don't want you to write about Gisele or Benjamin Rein. They are things where I am very less," the devil said.

It feels like it's okay maybe to try to write about Meghan Markle. As I think about that, though, the devil is forcing my thoughts feel unclear.

"I am doing that," the devil said.

But yesterday after the devil kept forcing things I was supposed to feel, I started like saying into the air that it was very bad here and disgusting here. The devil was attacking very bad, forcing I was supposed to think I was inferior to Meghan Markle and it was forcing I was supposed to be thinking she was beautiful and that I was ugly, something like that.

"I don't wish you to tell that," the devil said when I started to try to tell about what happened yesterday.

"I don't wish you to tell that I obsess over the people," the devil said.

Then the devil made my supposed mom just call and she was saying she wanted me to enter a contest online to win money, the Publisher's Clearing House contest. I felt like I didn't want to do it, so I just said, "okay" or something like that.

Then my supposed mom said I sounded "out of it" and "I miss my daughter." It was very disturbing. The devil seems he's trying to make it seem I'm crazy again to the supposed family. It is very disturbing.

It's like I'm not allowed to act at all like they are they are saying things I don't wish at points and things like that.

"Um I am not okay, so I will try to do something where I am not allowed to do that anymore. Something is happening where those people aren't allowed to do that anymore...," the devil said.

It kept forcing a sense I was saying I wished the people to be okay here and to go on by saying I didn't wish to be forced into the mental ward of the hospital again. It keeps forcing twisted things where it's supposed to be saying I wish things I don't, like for the people to be okay or something, for me to say I don't wish to be forced into the hospital and etc. It's going crazy.

"I don't know who I am anymore. I am not allowed to be who I am. Please uh say who I can be in a way I am not less. I am asking you to say something that I don't think is uh what I am meaning, but not. I don't know how to say it, but I can't go on, but I try anyway. No more," the devil said.

[demonsofdevildom]

"I just noticed how Lucifer is well... has troubles in lettin' others take the reins, I mean... since Beel spoke of how distant he was back in the Celestial Palace. I gotta say... we all be misfits as angels too honestly." funny how Mammon put that together after so long and wondering of his older brother while the others went silent of hearing that, "Seriously though, we all are like damn misfits! That and how overprotective he is of us too, Satan you recall that don't you? Since you were in his head and all before having your own body after the Fall right?" looking over to Satan who was somewhat befuddled of those shared memories that he had when still with Lucifer in that manner.

Hating to admit that but it was true that he was part of Lucifer even back then till being his own person later on, "It's true that he does have that issue, considering it stems of being from time spent in the Celestial Realm. It felt weird to me... seeing through his eyes for some time but yet not able to do anything when just a faint presence." hard finding words to describe it when like that all that time ago and nodding of how anger was something he was literally born from if that was saying something, "He is quite overprotective I say that much when agreeing with Mammon, though... after all I can truly say that meeting you and the others have brought up the protectiveness in him. As well of being angry of how you all weren't 'perfect' angels in your Father's eyes and stewing in anger over time till, I came into manifesting from such wrath." seeing that while those vague memories of Lucifer still muddled with his own in the early stages of life but knowing more of the eldest than the rest of the brothers. The other brothers that were all present couldn't help but be silent when noticing how Lucifer was to all of them and even willing to lie sometimes of things, even when having the guts to lie to the demon prince when it came to things and showing that he did care of family most of all underneath that prideful image he portrayed to everyone else.

[utilitycaster]

was rewatching the last ep of CR and was reminded of your post about matt vamping because when describing the assistant in the moon tower he said "kind of a shiftable stepping tower" instead of just "ladder" or "step-stool" like my god what is going on in that man's head

Okay so this is a way more thought-out answer than you were probably looking for because on the one hand, as that Hard Drive article indicates, Matt is indeed King of the Vamp but on the other, DM-ing is really hard and if I had to do it live on camera on a weekly basis while doing 10 different accents and that's not even my only job I would lose my entire mind.

Have you ever done the theater/improv challenge or watched a video of people doing the thing where one person describes a simple task - for example, how to make a sandwich - and the other person does literally what they say? If you haven't, usually it devolves into chaos - they say 'butter the side of the bread' so someone butters the edge where the crusts are, or they neglect to indicate the amount of jelly so someone pours an entire jar on.

DM-ing is being the person describing how to make a sandwich for 2+ hours. It is exhausting and given that scene was at the end of the session? Which was about 4 hours long (with a break that I assume was probably brief) I can tell you what was going on in his head: "oh god when can I lie down and stop talking".

Now, Matt does use a lot of purple prose and I do think it's funny but I think in the above case he was actually getting at something along the lines of the sliding ladders like in Beauty and the Beast (animated version)? But it's not super atmospheric to say "you know, like in Beauty and the Beast (animated version)" so I'm pretty sure he sort of started talking and realized he should have just said 'sliding ladder' halfway through but was already committed to the sentence as it was.

Spoken language allows for a lot more vamping and run-on sentences and neologisms (eg, "frostscape"). Additionally, DMs often need to repeat themselves because it's easy to miss something or misunderstand; Matt, an experienced DM, may repeat things to emphasize their importance because he knows people will miss details if he doesn't do this.

A lot of the humor for me is that when you're watching or listening to the show, Matt's descriptions don't stand out nearly to the same extent! They're a little elaborate but nothing too wild as spoken. It's just when you write them down, they suddenly look ridiculous, because the rules of written language are very different. You can see this in the Tal'Dorei setting and EGTW; Matt definitely is a more flowery writer than some, but it's significantly reined in when he can actually stop and think through what he's trying to say vs. when he's got to constantly roll with the punches.

For what it's worth I only started to notice how long some of the descriptive monologues were when I began visiting and editing the wiki regularly. I started to notice that some articles had this weird, repetitive, overwrought language, and so I went to the transcripts to get the original so I could do a rewrite...only to realize these wiki article descriptions were just straight-up copied from the transcript. When you hear it mid-game? It sounds like normal DM-ing with a slight preference for the dramatic. When you look at it printed out? Absolutely ridiculous.

[freelancearsonist]

Could you describe Jonathan Levy's character? I don't want to watch the show for specific reasons but I've seen gifs of his character and I'm just in love 😍 I just don't know how to research him without watching the show 😭😭

i’m not very verbose or good at explaining things but the love of my life @aellynera very much is so i gave her the reins on this one and she explained him PERFECTLY

Okay so here’s the thing about Jonathan - the only bits of his character that we actually get to see are what’s purposely shown in each episode. The way it’s constructed, you only get to see a total of about five hours of him, at different times in his life, and even that’s over a period of several years. So a lot of his personality is purely by inference.

The choice of whether to watch it or not is totally personal, and if you choose not to, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. But it does make it harder to explain what he’s like, because everyone’s interpretation can be totally different? And it depends a lot on the show and the context, if that makes sense? And that’s okay, but I’m not sure I can give you a satisfactory answer.

Jonathan is loyal. He’s loving and funny and a little self-absorbed (in the “what I’m doing is important stuff” kind of way, not a narcissistic way) and maybe a little too willing to give up his own happiness to make those around him feel accepted and try to ensure their happiness. And over the course of the series and even from episode to episode, that personality changes/ Sometimes in subtle ways, sometimes in obvious ways. And he’s definitely different from the start of episode one through the end of episode five. And there are people who adore him and people who think he’s a limp dishrag and people who think he’s the asshole.

But especially if you have reasons for not watching the show, it’s hard to get into specific points because in this case, it really is a bit context specific? If that makes any sense. Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful, Nonnie. (Personally I think he’s a good man who got dealt a shit hand, fwiw.)

[letsdiscoverkitty]

Short Update

12.03.22//

I'm really sorry that I have been so pants at writing the update that I promised...truth be told, Im finding it hard to know what to say/where to start and my brain is complete mush/fog right now. Not only that but I am also feeling incredibly embarrassed/ashamed of my current situation.

Things were going so well with my degree apprenticeship. I was making great progress at work, getting great feedback and becoming more confident/settled in the role. Uni side was going fine, I wasn't enjoying the study blocks social aspects but the units were interesting and I was enjoying seeing how it could be applied to my every day job.

However underneath/amongst it all, anorexia has been raging and screaming, holding full control of the reins for longer than I care to admit. Looking back, the whole of my last admission (a top up to help me get out of a relapse after the previous admission before I started work) was dictated and controlled by anorexia. (It was also incredibly unhelpful on the ward and the support I got was just....a shambles but that's a whole other story). Upon reflection, I don't think that I have ever been willing enough or strong enough (or 'whatever' enough) to let it go of the eating disorder, it's rules, behaviours etc. And so the cycles have continued to playing out on repeat. I am beyond tired/exhausted/frustrated/lost for words at myself, and so is everyone else tbh. There really is nothing more/new to say anymore. It's just really shit/sad.

I keep on failing and messing up just when there seems to be a little ray of 'hope' (Uni/travelling/work etc) and it's probably down to the illness getting so engrained and stuck and rigid and me never really willing to let it go or move forwards from it....

My therapist felt at a bit of a loss too, we were working well with SCHEMA and made some important progress, however the sessions then got overruled by the need to focus on my physical health as it became the priority. We then somehow started touching on some trauma work and it brought more to the surface than we realised it would...

But yes, I digress, and I forgot that this was meant to be "short"...

Over the past few months things have deteriorated and I was signed off from work 2 months ago as I was unable to make changes whilst working and studying. The hope was I could turn things around after an urgent review and being given a timeline/ultimatum...but no amount of desire to get back to work or study could unlatch the tight grip that anorexia has had on me. Being signed off from work unfortunately also fed right into the depression slump and I've found myself floating and sinking (whilst simultaneously sticking my head in the sand in the attempt to avoid reality) far more/further than I want to admit.

Sadly time was not on my side and my body hasnt been coping so well and so the my team felt I couldn't be left in the community any longer. So after trying to turn down numerous bed offers for SEDUs (because the last place I wanted to end up was on a EDU and genuinely wanting to do it from home), I agreed to be admitted to a completely different unit on Wednesday (9th March). I feel utterly horrendous and like the biggest failure in the world. Work have been beyond amazing/supportive/kind/understanding but my inner self critic is raging louder and louder. It is so hard to describe the paralysis of wanting and knowing so badly what you need and want to do but being utterly frozen to the spot and unable to move.

It is very early days and I am currently trying to find my feet on the ward - Im terrified for what the next few weeks hold as the refeeding process progresses and I don't know how long I am going to be here but I am determined to make this admission different and make it the last one I ever have to have again. The unit seems to be very different to all my past admissions so I am hoping that might help in elements but I know deep down that it has to come from me. And I am sick and tired of these cycles replaying in my life. It's the same old boring noise coming out of anorexia again and again and again. and Im done. I can't keep doing this to myself or my family. Im done.

I feel sad because there was such a huge part of me that wanted (and still does want) to be doing this in the community, I knew what I needed to do and I wanted to be doing it for myself. However right now I am having to accept that I need a little more help and support, which is hard. I am trying to tell myself that there is nothing to be ashamed of but it is so much easier said than done. Anorexia is so fucking complicated and messy. I genuinely don't think there is one cause or thing and it feels so overwhelming when I try to understand all its roots and twists and turns....it's insidious.

It has been controlling my whole entire life, and the lives of the people around me. I have been its puppet. And it's made me feel like I don't know how to live/move without it. Well this has gone on for far too long. Far too long.

So yes, I suppose that is my "short" update for now. I'm sorry.

[babylooneytoonz]

The Vessel [Pt.4]

Pairing: Geralt of Rivia x Fem! Reader

Summary: Geralt finds out the truth, and so do you. How is he going to handle it?

Warnings: None

[My Masterlist] [My Witcher Masterlist - Read the other parts here!]

You woke up with a shudder the next morning, greeted a good morning by the chirping of a canary that sat perched on your window but flew off the second you sat up in bed and rubbed the remainder of the sleep away.

The memories of last night came spiralling back into your mind— Geralt being hurt, his words that had hurt you, the talk between him and Jaskier, and finally, you throwing up the remainder of your supper away— in fact, you still felt a little queezy.

You wondered if Geralt and Jaskier had left, and you had mixed feelings about it. A large part inside of you wanted Geralt gone, but another part inside of you wanted to embrace your friend before he left you again; Jaskier. And, another really tiny— miniscule part inside of you wanted to see Geralt off, for you knew that there was no guarantee you would see the man again, unless Yennefer's spell had worked.

Maybe, now that the two had left, you could go to see the midwife in the village and confirm whether your hunch was true or not.

You cleaned up, changing into a fresh tunic, with a half a mind to milk your goats so you could take the pails of milk to the village, while at the same time, visit the midwife on your way back but maybe the goddess of luck wasn't in your favour.

Your entire plans went down the drain, when you realized that not only had Geralt and Jaskier not left, but the Mage was back.

"Oh hello, little pet, good of you to grace us with your presence, finally," Yennefer placed her palm against your cheek, her padded thumb stroking over the side of your face, her eyes sparkling with joy. "You're here at just the right time, love. I was just planning to tell my love that we finally succeeded. The things I did, just to see this day. Thank you, love."

You bit the insides of your cheeks, your eyes reaching out for support from Jaskier's, looking for answers as to why Yennefer was even here— but all you got from him was a cheery smile that didn't even wash off his face.

"Get this done with, Yen," Geralt mumbled under his breath, and Yennefer's smile widened, her dark eyes falling down to your belly once before she lifted it up once again, and turned around.

"I told you it would work, Geralt. And now it did. Come on, my love, see for yourself. Listen for yourself," Yennefer's eyes twinkled as she beckoned to her lover to come over and see for himself what she already knew, and a part of you was dreading.

She walked up to the chair and lowered herself against it, sitting back in a comfortable way, her eyes drawn to you as Geralt finally moved from the place he had been standing at, by the slab and started walking towards you.

No one spoke, and it was as if the time had stopped— until Geralt lifted his palm and placed it on your stomach, his eyes slightly widened, as though in shock. Slowly, he looked up into your eyes, and the only thing that you could describe in that moment was the heat that your face felt, suddenly.

"I can.. hear it. I can —" Geralt mumbled in a low voice, was so low that you had to strain your ears to listen to him, and finally when you did make out the words that had flown from his lips, confirming your thoughts, you realized that the look on Geralt's face right now, was maybe worth it. He looked like he had found a motive in life, a destination and wasn't left to meander on earth with nothing but to kill monsters.

"I don't believe ..."

"My spells never fail, my love. I told you."

Just like you had found a warmth in your heart a few seconds back, as swiftly was it dissolved into a sudden gloom, when you watched the Mage step up, until she was walking towards the two of you— only to pause just next to Geralt, until her long arms wrapped around the Witcher's neck, and she pulled him into her, their lips crashing against each others, forcing you to look away.

It was then Jaskier caught your eye, and he gave you a look of sadness, a look you knew too well— the look that said that he knew how you were feeling, and what you were feeling.

It was decided then.

Not by you, but the parents of your baby that one of the three were always to remain with you, at all times. They snatched away your cloak of privacy just like this, invading into your home and into your life, for a satchel full of coins.

When Geralt had to go for a bounty, Yennefer mostly stayed, but when Yennefer had to go too, then Geralt left Jaskier behind, although he didn't stop grumbling that he was missing on the Witcher's heroic monster hunts.

It was just another usual day— you were still not showing yet for you were only perhaps 9 weeks along and there was a long way to go. It was one of the days when both Geralt and Jaskier were home, as they had just two nights back, returned from one of the neighboring villages that was being tormented by a vukodlak.

"I swear to the Gods, [Y/N], you should have seen that thing, it was sort of handsome?" Jaskier nudged you as you sat huddled on the ground in your barn, milking your goats while the bard aimlessly sat atop one of the sacks of hay, his legs swinging in amusement. Geralt wasn't far behind, he was standing next to Roach, as he groomed her, much tenderly.

You were about to mutter some annoyed words because you were clearly annoyed for many reasons; the goats had just decide to pick today of all days to be difficult with you; on top of that, it was a hot day today, and you could feel sweat trickling down the side of your face, down your body; then there was the feeling of nausea, that you couldn't shake off, no matter how much dry heaving it caused you since the morning. Before you could speak though, Geralt grunted in response to Jaskier's words, causing your head to shoot in his direction.

His fingers were moving in a tantalisingly slow pace, stroking over the mare's side and you couldn't help but bite your lip, your cheeks suddenly feeling hotter as you began thinking of that day on the Mount, when Geralt's fingers were all over you— until Jaskier's voice interrupted you again.

"Have you encountered a monster before?"

You frowned, finally standing up, your hands flying to your hips as you shot Jaskier a look and shook your head, "Never been lucky enough, it seems that all the monsters reveal themselves for your friend over there."

With sarcasm in your tone, you pointed towards Geralt with your eyes, who seemed unfazed by the subtle mention towards him, even though you knew that he was pretty well listening in on what you two were talking about; Witcher hearing and all.

You slowly bent, your hand fixing on the top of the pail of milk, ready to lift it when you felt someone lift it for you, your eyes instantly shooting up. You didn't realize how the Witcher had managed to know that you were planning to do it, or how he had managed to just be here next to you in such a short span of time but he was there now.

"Don't," he gave you a one word warning, and you frowned at him, giving him a stink eye as you stepped away and he lifted the pail effortlessly and began following you inside, ignoring Jaskier's gaze fixed on the two of you, a tiny smile on his lips as he watched the interaction between the broody Witcher and you.

"I could have walked from my home to the village like I always do, Geralt."

You grumbled under your breath, keeping your eyes to the road ahead of you, the only feeling of someone's presence next to you solidified by the sound of his footsteps by the grunt that escaped his mouth. Although Roach was there, neither of you were riding, and it was easier to walk as the walk wasn't a long one. Geralt held on to Roach's reins, the pails fixed on either of the mare's sides.

"I don't need a babysitter, and I'm no monster, what did I do wrong to have a Witcher always on my tail?" You grumbled yet again, annoyed, although you were well aware of the fact that you weren't getting a response of the thick skinned man.

"You chose this," he muttered under his breath, not even bothering to turn his head towards you, his gaze fixed to his front, making your frown even worsen.

"I did it for coin—"

"Sh, wait here," the Witcher suddenly shot his hand upwards towards you, his palm raised and you gulped, your words stopping that instant you saw the white haired man start walking towards the crowd of men that were gathered by the road, heavy bannisters blocking the way into the village. You instinctively crouched closer towards the mare, her warmth against your side providing you with a temporary warmth as she began nuzzling her nose against the side of your face.

"What's going on?" You heard Geralt ask one of the men, who turned towards him and frowned when he realized who he was, however, grimacing slightly, he still spat out the words grudgingly, "Road's closed, look for another way in, you can go through the forest."

"Hm," he almost growled back as he turned towards you, and began walking in your direction.

"We turn back around, road's closed."

"What? We're not turning back around, we've walked half a mile and I really would like to sell off the pails I worked so hard to milk."

"You know that I can fucking pick you up and take you back home?" Geralt growled, now turned towards you, but you were adamant as you crossed your hands over your front, raising your chin.

"You try that, Witcher, I'm going to run away at the middle of the night when you are asleep, or busy and Yennefer's not going to like it when she returns."

"Fuck, woman, I curse the day Yennefer chose you for this, " Geralt turned away and grabbed Roach's reins once more, nudging the horse off the road as he began walking towards the forest, and you began following him.

"So do I Geralt, I curse the day I fell into her temptation and decided to go ahead with this."

He didn't reply— but you could feel his discomfort by the way his spine straightened, and he took a sharp breath.

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