#like i dont think she ever stuck to that format again even though all of them are like

[13eyond13]

I have no idea what possessed Anne Rice to write Interview With the Vampire literally as an interview and taking place entirely as a conversation between two people in a room complete with dialogue quotation marks around the entire thing, but it's both so funny and also oddly charming to me hahaha

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

AITA WIP Tag Game

Stealing the open tag by @winterandwords

Describe your WIP as if it were a post on r/AmITheAsshole

This one contains heavy spoilers for the Fancy Boots arc of Glass Shards. Transcript of the images is below the cut. There's also links to the images at the end, because I think tumblr compresses them.

Aaaand I'm gonna very lowkey tag: @starlit-hopes-and-dreams @antisocialxconstruct and everyone who wants to :D

I don't know if you wanna do something like this. Obviously doesn't have to be image format, I just took the idea and ran with it because I'm so very normal. It's a rather high effort tag game, so feel absolutely free to ignore it <3

I'm gonna tag some people from the Glass Shards/Fancy Boots taglist as well, just for looking at it, because I put too much fucking effort into this: @teamwhump @dont-touch-my-soup @kixngiggles

Lol guys I found a thread on reddit, it's hilarious, check it out.

Poor guy got torn to shreds in the comments.

Seems there were some updates as well. I'm having my doubts about this story, but five months is a nice commitment to the bit.

All images: The Post | First Question | Second Question | Third Question | Edits | Update

All screenshots look like posts on the subreddit r/AmITheAsshole, with several thousand upvotes and comments.

User u/ThrowRAFancyBoots posted seven months ago and has been voted the asshole:

AITA? I just wanted to make sure he's not a threat, but his wife is giving me the death glare

So I (25M) recently ran across an old acquaintance (35M). Last time we met… ok, there's no way around it, I was in law enforcement, and I arrested him for attempted murder. It wasn't pretty. Some things happened, and he was seriously injured. Wasn't my fault, but I admit I could have been a bigger help. I was informed he broke out of prison before his trial, but I moved away a short time later, and it kinda ended up in the back of my mind.

Now my new employer is in negotiations to move to this town, and while he's stuck in meetings all day, I got some time on my hands. And guess who I saw wandering around at the beach? I couldn't believe my eyes, but it was definitely him, he reacted to that stupid nickname they gave him.

Well, I did what any upstanding citizen would do, I tried to arrest him, but his wife (25F) — he has a wife now! — begged me to let him go. Ok, perhaps she didn't so much beg me as threaten me, but anyway, I just… I couldn't do it.

But I had to make sure he's not a threat anymore, I mean, what if I let him go and he kills someone?? So I told them I'd be over again to talk, and he invited me to dinner. It was an amazing dinner, this guy's a wonderful cook. We kept talking and I lost track of time, and then it was late and I realized I hadn't even asked my questions, so I told them I’d come back the next afternoon.

It's been 4 days now, and I've visited them daily, and I don't believe he's anywhere near the monster people said he is. Really, his wife seems to be more dangerous than he is. I think she's about to stab me. If looks could kill, I would be dead already. It’s making me wonder.

I just want to make absolutely sure, you know? Is that too much to ask? I didn't even come for dinner each day, so he wouldn't have to cook for me, though he still offered me something every time (it was absolutely delicious). I came along as he went shopping, and he was nice to everyone, and everyone seemed to like him. When someone asked, he introduced me as his friend of all things. If he’s an actor, he’s the best fucking actor I’ve ever seen.

So I'm asking, am I the asshole for bothering them for a few days while making absolutely sure he's not a threat anymore?

Several people have replied to this post:

First reply thread:

BurntSalad: INFO: What do you want to ask him?

ThrowRAFancyBoots: I want to ask him why he did it.

BurntSalad: YTA. It's been 4 days. Just check the police records or something, if you're too much of a coward lol

ThrowRAFancyBoots: I would have to ask. There wasn't a motive, it was straight up an assassination attempt. It doesn't make sense. Not when you get to know him. That's why I've been coming back.

UpperDogPants: then ask. put on your big boy pants and stop ruining their lives

ThrowRAFancyBoots: I will. Tomorrow.

Second reply thread:

CheeseAndPasta79: INFO: What was for dinner?

ThrowRAFancyBoots: Bean roast, mashed potatoes, glazed vegetables and freshly baked bread, why?

CheeseAndPasta79: YTA

ThrowRAFancyBoots: :(

Third reply thread:

SecretlyJealous2342: YTA you just want to fuck his wife

ThrowRAFancyBoots: No I do not want to fuck his wife, wtf.

Next comes a screenshot of the lower part of the OP, which now shows several edits and update. The thread has been locked:

Edit: Since people have repeatedly asked about the incident when he was arrested: his gun exploded, and he blew up his hand. We had to cut it off to save his life, and it… it was pretty gruesome, and I'm not proud of anything we did, all right? I didn't want to mention it, because I figured it might lead to prejudices before you've even read the whole story.

Edit 2: I don't think he's a killer. He really, really doesn't behave like one. But people wanted to know what I could possibly want to ask him after 4 days, and it's complicated. I want to know why he did it. For some reason, I can't seem to ask him that. But if I don’t know what made him do it, how can I be sure he won’t do it again?

Edit 3: Ok, after the latest edit, people seem to agree that I'm the asshole. Perhaps you’re right but can’t you see the predicament I’m in? And no, for those who were asking if his motives weren’t clear, they were not. It wasn’t a case of jealousy or revenge or anything, it was an assassination attempt, plain and simple. Perhaps he was blackmailed into it, or… fuck, I don’t know. This one day. I’ll go back one more time, ask my question, and leave them alone afterwards.

Update: I think I fucke 

Update 2: Sorry, I dropped my phone and hit send too early. My hands are shaking. I fucked up. I went back today (yeah, yeah, I know) and I saw something I shouldn’t have seen. He’s… it’s not my secret to share, and I won’t do that to him in case he or anyone he knows will ever find this, but safe to say, he was treated so much worse than I had assumed. I didn’t… It wasn’t me, but I let this happen to him.

You were right, I’m gonna leave him alone, but I have to go back one last time to tell them I will keep his secret. Fingers crossed I won’t end up with a knife between my eyes. Just kidding. Hopefully.

Update 3: So, uh, things took a turn, and I don’t know what to make of it, but… I think it’s a good thing? When I went to apologize, I brought something of his, something I had kept since the day I handed him over. I told him how I quit my job afterwards, because of what we did, because I couldn’t look those people in the eye anymore. And how I had kept this object to remind me.

I wouldn’t have asked him anymore, but it was him who brought up the question, and I decided to be honest, so I finally asked him why he had done it. I was right, he had been forced by someone. Not only the attempted murder, but also the rest, which I didn’t… I didn’t mention it because it would have made his identity too obvious and might put him at risk, but it doesn’t matter anymore, because there’s no fucking chance he’ll ever do it again.

I’m sorry, my thoughts are all over the place. When I left, he actually ran after me and invited me to dinner. I went, and before you call me an asshole again, this time… it was different. They were actually at ease around me. 

I’m now back in my room, and I can’t stop wondering where to go from here. If he really wants to be friends. We’ll see. I’m gonna leave it fully up to him, that’s the least I can do. 

I guess the question of whether I am the asshole has been answered (yes I was, big time). It doesn’t really matter anymore, but since people seem to be strangely invested (you should try reading a book instead), I can let you all know in a few weeks how things are going.

The last screenshot is of a new reddit post by u/ThrowRAFancyBoots, with even more upvotes and awards, two months ago.

Update: I just wanted to make sure he's not a threat, but his wife is giving me the death glare

I promised an update, but things have been kinda crazy. At first, everything was going well, I was visiting more often, and while his wife still didn’t like me (I can’t blame her) she was courteous enough. I would say he and I became friends, which is… fuck, I don’t really have many close friends.

It really took her flipping out at me to realize that I was holding the threat to his life over his head. That if I were to hand him over to the authorities, they were going to kill him. That I’ve been coming into his home, basically telling him “if you can’t convince me you’re nice enough, I’ll have you killed”. 

Yeah, you were right. I’m a fucking idiot.

And just when things started to settle, shit hit the fan. Turns out, he hadn’t told his brother about me (for which I also can’t blame him). Said brother wasn’t very amused to see me leaving the house and lost his temper. Not to go into details, but if my friend’s wife had taken a few moments longer to come out and check on the noise, I wouldn’t be writing this now.

I was out of commission for several weeks, which I spent at their house. His wife’s behavior took a 180 degree turn, and she’s been fussing over me ever since. Which is kinda endearing, but I hate to see her worry like that. Those two are some of the kindest people I’ve ever met, and it hurts my heart to think what they’ve been through.

Lost my job in the meantime, because my employer got sick of waiting for my return (I can’t… well perhaps I do blame him. A tiny bit. He could have gotten a temporary replacement, but fuck me, I guess). Not sure where to go next, I’m not quite fit to return to work yet, but there’s a chance the local headquarters will employ me directly, which would be fantastic. If not… I’ll figure something out. I could always return home to my family, but I’d really like to find a way to stay here.

Now I know my friend’s brother was just worried about him (for which I absolutely can’t blame him), so I decided to forgive him for attacking me. There’s nothing more important than family, and to think I almost destroyed theirs… I’m incredibly lucky to still be around, and to have them in my life, and for everything to turn out rather well, all things considered.

Probably not the update you expected, but that’s life. I won’t be posting again, I already put too much of their business onto the internet. Take care, and give your friends and families a hug today, if you haven’t. 

[tearsoftime0086]

We'll Always Have Casablanca

Salutations I have come with even more resident evil brainworms. Fic part 1 of 3 (tbd), follows several years after the ending of Once (That Was Enough). Written as gen fic for every character alluded to, though if I squint and feel like it's otherwise I can defs tag. Also sorry for rough formatting - wrote this all on mobile while AO3 is down. Hope you enjoy!

Characters: Steve Burnside, Leon Kennedy

Summary: Steve gets an unexpected request from a distant acquaintance.

Word Count: 634 (of 4185)

Warnings: Alcohol use

~

It was the autumn of 2004, and Steve was starting his last year of college in Virginia. With NOVA being damp and cold, and Claire out traveling for Terrasave, he spent most of his time stuck at their apartment. Sure, he still hung out with his old dorm friends, but the past year and a half had been sobering. Chris' intel had shown traces of a bioterrorism incident in South America with t-Veronica involved, but the US government was taking extreme measures to keep it covered up. Steve didn't want to think about how that virus ever made it out of Antarctica (because eventually his ruminations all came back to him), and so he committed himself to his biomed papers. Could've sworn he wouldn't follow in his dad's footsteps, but it was therapeutic to at least start putting together the pieces of how his body worked. He'd never be able to get a government gig (medical testing would out him immediately), but he'd looked into some private sector jobs, and was confident he'd be able to get hired as discreetly as possible.

He'd read halfway through a paper when his cell rung, blue screen flashing an unknown number. It was a series of rapid texts. Steve opened his phone, wondering who it could be.

Is this Steve?

It's Leon

Leon... Kennedy? The last time they'd met was back in '99, when he'd awkwardly delivered a bottle of Makers Mark that he'd made Chris buy for him. (All the adults bought alcohol as thank you gifts - he just hadn't been quite adult enough to buy it himself). They were acquainted, sure, but not enough for him to message out of the blue like this.

Yeah, it's me.

You lost Claire's number or something?

Steve typed, in the only conclusion he could reach. Leon was another guy who traveled frequently - maybe he'd lost her contact info while abroad. Then again, why would he have his?

The response is fast.

No

You're still in nova right

Yeah, what's up?

The next message is an address - closer to DC, but nearby enough for him to recognize the zip code.

Can you get here now

Need advice

Don't tell Claire

The stream of texts paused for a moment, and Steve took the time to try and process all this. That nasty thought about South America suddenly became much more relevant. There were very limited ways he could be useful to a government agent, but Leon surely understood that fact just as much as he did. Claire had told him how Leon had insisted on utter secrecy about t Veronica back in '98, squeezing her arms across her chest as she recalled Leon's near-outburst. When Steve had met him in person, he hardly seemed like the guy in her story. He was a strait-laced, handsome, if not somber guy. He'd taken the awkward gift of whiskey with the politeness of a natural conversationalist and the steady gaze of a seasoned veteran. As Sherry had so aptly put it during their visits, Leon was her hero, and clearly exuded those qualities.

'Uncle Steve' on the other hand... tried his best.

Hell, he'd help out. Everyone he knew held Leon Kennedy in high esteem, and if he wanted info in person about t-Veronica or whatever else, so be it. Worst case, he'd ask Claire to bail him out... Somehow.

Sure - everything okay?

He added after rereading the last message. The desire to keep it from Claire was still unclear.

The next response was looser.

yeah just dont tell claire yet

you can handle keeping quiet for a day right

Steve felt mildly offended - sure, he'd be the perpetual kid in this twisted found family of his, but he could at least keep his mouth shut.

>:(

Omw

Then again, maybe the instant need to type an angry face meant something about his character.

next

[homieswithhades]

why steve rogers returning to the past was wrong

disclaimer: im clearly a stucky enthusiast, but please, do not be thrown off by that. i admit, there may be undertones of bias because of that in the following, but i did my best with trying to lay out the facts and draw logical conclusions, so do please give me a chance. also, i may have accidentaly omitted some moments and some quotes may not be 100% word for word, as my memory lowkey sucks. ALSO this is NOT a peggy hate post!! i think shes a dope and underrated character and quite frankly she was done dirty. but i also definitely h8 the trope of badass woman falls for the hero.

first and foremost, every sane person knows endgame was complete and utter bullshit when dealing with steves character, so this post will be more for you to maybe show (and hopefully convince) some stubborn friend or family member. nice, concise (not) and including proof from the movies (+a few tweets and stucky undertones, if u dont fw that i respect it but bucky is an integral part to steves character regardless of how u interpret their relationship) here is why steves character development was thrown away at the end of endgame.

let us begin at looking at the cap trilogy.

in ca:tfa it should be noted that steve had no one to return to in the 40s, except bucky. i believe steves relationship with peggy was no where near as developed as it should have been to elicit him returning exclusively for her. as we are aware, steves driving force has absolutely always been bucky. bucky was there for steve after his parents died, when he was sick, and always protected him from whatever trouble he got himself into. "until the end of the line" right? steves relationship with peggy was forced and short lived, literally, we're talking a matter of months here. i need to keep emphasising the important disparity between bucky and peggy, as it is absolutely key in this whole argument. steve dropped everything and went against every order just to even attempt to save bucky. even the slightest chance of him surviving being captured was enough for steve to break into a hydra camp and free the 107th division. steve even had the chance to capture zola, one of the main villains and masterminds of the war, but again, steve prioritised bucky. when theyre trying to escape the exploding hydra camp, the exchange between steve and bucky is critical. steve says "go! get out of here!" as all he wanted was bucky escaping safely. he put bucky's life over his own (this wasnt the first time he did this, nor the last) but bucky rooted himself to the spot, and yelled back "no, not without you!". they both escaped safely as we know, and then steve gathers the howling commandos to take down the red skull. bucky then falls off the train, nd steve blames himself for his death, even visibly crying over it twice. steves morals went from "i dont wanna kill anyone. i dont like bullies, i dont care where theyre from" before buckys death, to "i wont stop until all of hydra are dead or captured" after. stuff happens and steve defeats the red skull and is now in control of the flying ship with the bombs. he connects the comms with peggy and she tries to convince him theres another way to disarm the ship. steve was so dedicated at that point he didnt even want to hear it. he didnt even attempt to do anything to ensure his survival. this alone proves, peggy was not important enough to him to return to.

next is ca:tws. The stevebucky movie. in the museum, peggy confirms that steve saved the man from the 107th division who eventually became her husband (steve was never in the 107th, just to clarify) i believe her husbands name was daniel sousa (as revealed in the marvels agents of shield show) steve then finds out peggy is alive and talks to her. she, in short, tells him she's lived her life, and it was his turn to live his in the time hes in. the "my best girl" line was unnecessary and out of place; again, steve barely knew her. again, shit goes down, and steve finds out the winter soldier is bucky and immediately drops everything, and becomes dead set on saving him. not killing, not imprisoning, but saving him. no matter the cost. "he saw me, and he didnt even know me" "hes not the kind you save, hes the kind you stop. he won't recognise you" "he will." god, steve KNEW bucky would recognise him. regardless of the brainwashing, steve managed to break through the barrier hydra fought so hard to drill into buckys mind. nothing ever broke him out of that state exept for steve. "im not gonna fight you, youre my friend." "youre my mission" "then finish it. cos im with you till the end of the line." [[good fucking lord let me break out of my essay-esque semi professional format here and just say how fucking heartbreaking those lines are. oh my god. read them, over and over until it hits you.]] steve shows us again, that he is willing to not only die for bucky, but literally die by his hand. he would let bucky kill him. he'd dropped his shield. he didnt fight back. steve always, always, ALWAYS got up and fought back. always. exept that time. the time bucky could have killed him. that scene is the essence of "im with you till the end of the line" because then, it was true. it was true because steve was okay with dying at buckys mercy. theres a difference between sacrificing yourself for the greater good (steve going into the ice), willing to die for someone (steve risking his life multiple times in attempts to save bucky) and finally, being willing to let someone kill you, because you love and trust them so much (hellicarier scene). the difference between peggy and bucky's relationship to steve is that steve may be willing to die for either, but only willing to be killed by one. not to mention, bucky pulled steve from the river. he recognised him. steve broke through 70 years of brainwashing with such impact it literally drove bucky away from hydra out of his own free will.

in between ca:tws and ca:cw its confirmed (im p sure sam says it) that him and steve looked for bucky for two. years. even off screen, bucky was steves priority.

im going to squeeze in 2 points from from age of ultron here, for chronology's sake:

steves worst nightmare, as portayed in the movie, is LITERALLY going back to the 40s and being stuck there (with peggy too??lmfao) and also the quote "family, stability, the man who wanted all that went in the ice 75 years ago. i think another one came out." objectively confirms that steve isn't the man he used to be, and doesnt want to return to the past. aou may have sucked, but that doesn't mean the character development should be thrown away.

ca:cw. hoo boy. steve went against 117 countries and half of his closest friends and colleagues because he believed bucky was innocent of the bombing of the un conference. god, steve quite literally, did everything to defend and protect bucky. though i shall acknowledge that steve did attend peggy's funeral, however, there was no real connotations there other than the fact he was mourning her death (understabdibly so). steve then proceeds to protect bucky for 2 hours 27 mins and 41 seconds to the point where they escape together to siberia after the airport fight. "i dont know if im worth all this steve" "what you did all those years... it wasnt you. you didnt have a choice." "i know. but i did it" again, absolutely heartbreaking quotes if you read it a couple of times and truly understand the meaning of them. steve somewhat indirectly tells bucky yes, yes he is worth all of this. otherwise, he wouldn't be doing it. a quote to support that would be "for the longest time, i always did what i thought was right." (disclaimer this is not a direct quote i deadass couldnt find it to save my life, i belive steve said it at some point during civil war or tws, but the point is, bucky is the only thing that could have shaken steves morals so intensely.) and finally, the most important part of cw, the fight at the end with tony. bucky and steve constantly protected each other. steve kept fighting because he was fighting for bucky. to keep him safe from tony and the world. he got up, time and time again. "i can do this all day." the fact that he said that to tony, some people consider them the closest of friends, proves again, a million times over, bucky is more important to steve than literally anything else, INCLUDING his shield. his mantle. he dropped it and left it like it was nothing, because his priority was bucky. as always.

theres not much to discuss for infinity war other than their hug whicg was honestly just adorable.

mmmmm endgame. i will not go into how much i hate that movie because it would be a rant quintuple the length of this one. in the support group, steve dead ass fucking says "you gotta move on. you gotta move on" and that sentiment was literally forgotten at the end. my main point for endgame is this. people tend to tell me, the reason steve abandoned bucky and went back to be with peggy is because he knew that he was finally safe. :/. if you had half a braincell youd know that's not true. the steve we know, never would have left bucky for good, ESPECIALLY after the "dont do anything stupid until i get back" exchange [[god i want to beat the shit out of the r*ssos]] mostly because, bucky had fucking no one in the time he was living in!!! no family, no friends and most heartbreakingly, no one he could trust. (yes sam was there but were just seeing their friendship develop now in tfatws, all that wasnt there in endgame) and secondly, what made steve think bucky was entirely safe??? half of the worlds population just suddenly reappeared, which as we see now, there were massive consequences for that. i simply believe steve is not that stupid. steve going back was disrespectful not only to his character, but to bucky AND peggy. most importantly, the steve we've been watching since 2011 would NEVER abandon bucky, no matter how safe he thought he was (he visited him frequently in wakanda, the safest place on the planet arguably ffs) especially for such a dumbass and quite frankly, nonsensical reason as going back to be with peggy, who clearly stated to him she moved on, and so should he (which he did. idk endgame writers prolly didnt watch the previous movies :/) its not even debatable. bucky is more important to steve than peggy. even in terms of screentime.

now allow some tweets to speak for me, this one being the absolute most important one:

ladies and gentlefolk, all of the stuff ive said can be summarised in that last line. "it would be contrary to who he is."

heres some more:

and now finally, id like to briefly mention steve and tfatws, so beware of spoilers (writing this as of ep 4 coming out; praying it doesn't age badly)

bucky mentions steve, unprompted, fucking constantly. he clearly isnt over steve leaving, and im hoping that gets acknowledged and talked out in the show.

in conclusion, tl:dr, steve shouldn't have returned to the past and stayed there, it is contrary to who he is, as shown to us through his trilogy and other appearances in the mcu. not to mention the timeline bullshit in endgame makes zero sense in the first place.

[tomatograter]

do you have advice for someone who’s writing a heavily illustrated fic / pseudo-fanventure ig and has written and drawn before but not necessarily combined the two? just like in terms of a few big things it’s worth knowing or keeping in mind

Im going to start answering this as though it is a question about comics in general, then more into the specifics of the format.

Step 1: Accept that, like everything with sequential art, you'll most likely be operating at a good 60% of your drawing ability for most of the panels. This is okay. I am of the belief that this should be encouraged, and great comic artists will tell anyone who wants to hear it that not every panel is going to be the greatest panel you've ever drawn - it just has to advance the story you're telling. In a traditional format, what we usually say is "pick one panel thats meant to look good at a time where that enriches the story(or the world), and focus on making the art be useful in all the rest." Simplify!

An excess of prettitudes can sometimes work against you. It may not match the mood, the setting, the atmosphere, your work speed, your wrist health, your feasible output etc. Play with what DOES!

In the style usually associated with homestuck, this means... sprites, single shots, style changes, panels with no background at all, reusing assets, and more. I like how "Inconsistency" is the only true rule on homestuck's visual side. Put the little perfectionist critic in the back of your head to sleep and get through the not-so-gorgeous parts. You'll eventually improve and find a comfortable pace.

All the other steps: You don't actually need to mimic HS style if you don't wanna. Not even the designs. Put your spin on it. Same goes for the narrative. HS is famously verbose and text-heavy, and where it succeeds is mixing the visuals in a way they accompany the text without drowning it out. Some things you only have to see to understand, other things you only have to read about to get, and there's rarely a repetition, because in the final context's perspective both count as equal pieces of the main text.

Figure out what can be conveyed in visuals and what can be conveyed through words, and what subtleties arise when you mix the two. Dont underestimate your audience for the sake of explaining EVERYTHING that is going on at all times inside and outside a characters head as well as around the world. If someone makes a sad face we know they're sad. If we've seen why they're sad, we don't have to say it again, but if it can perhaps be enhanced by providing a further context and depth through words- then perhaps you should do that. ("Vriska steps on 8 balls. She does this often since there's lots of cracked ones around the house. We can see this. We know she associates this with addiction and a strike of bad luck because she says so, however")

If you don't want to write a novel, but want to write pesterlogs, you don't need to write a novel! Make the narration short and sweet to the point it is simply useful and let the panels and conversations do the rest. Similarly, you dont want to write big meandering and long-winded convos? You can switch up the style and make it a little bit more prose-based with visuals to enhance it. Don't want to draw a lot? Invest in the prose+dialog and let your illustrations come in at key moments instead of driving the whole car. As long as you balance out the three things to make up for where you believe you're lacking the most prowess, it'll be fine. Experiment.

Most of homestuck is a result of improvisation, so while i cant say "you NEED to know where your story is going/how it will end before starting it" having a vague idea of how big you want it to be, where it might finish, and a realistic estimation of how much work it will take to get there is great for when your creativity and drive is running low. Having main story beats written down and a general concept for what the chapter, the arc, or the whole is meant to convey is very helpful in the case you get... stuck. You dont need to make it a 100 chapter epic if an oneshot or 3-parter suffices. Have fun. Put some things that are meant to be jokes and gifts to yourself. You also dont NEED to include the entire extended cast and a gaggle of extras if you don't want to. Ive seen a number of fanventures pop up and then be promptly abandoned because they got too expansive too quickly, and the author lost interest in the broad scope of it. Focus on what you want to write and draw about. If you can do that well, someone's guaranteed to like it, and that's better than trying to please everybody.

Also, while it might look effortless, doing this kind of narrative takes time. Even if you cut corners! It doesn't look finished until you put it all together, and sometimes you'll still be editing right before you publish so the text goes better with the pictures or the pictures go better with the words. "Being frustrated with the process" is unfortunately a reality for comics. This is why I'm always annoying about the 'put in things you think are fun' bit. Learning patience goes a long way.

Also, self-advertise. Shamelessly.

[lazyfox411]

Some more Qrow Angst

Ruby is in trouble so she calls her uncle qrow for help. Warnings I guess for alcohol use and a dude being.. creepy?

Let me know what you think! And sorry if this ends up formatted strange, I'm in an airport and using my phone which I normally dont do for posting fic..enjoy..

Qrow smacked his lips as he polished off what was left in his glass. He played his fingers along the neck of the bottle, contemplating another.

Tai cleared his throat, nestled in an armchair across the room. His eyes immediately flicked back down to the novel in his hands when Qrow looked up. It was subtle, but it was enough. Qrow left the bottle where it was. This was Tai's house, he would at least try to behave. If not for Tai, then for the girls. Even though it was late, so Yang was already locked away in her room for the night, and Ruby was out at a friend's.

No sooner had the thought left his mind than his scroll, tucked away in his back pocket, began to vibrate. He pulled it out and looked at the contact photo: Ruby's smiling face. Tai was fully immersed in his book now, and after years of living with the man in a small dorm room, Qrow knew not to interrupt him when his nose was stuck between pages. He quietly stepped into the kitchen to take the call.

"Hey, kiddo, what's up? I thought you were at your friend's, Violet, or whatever her name is."

"It's Velvet," Ruby corrected softly, and in that instant, Qrow knew there was something wrong, very wrong, because he had never heard his niece speak in such a quiet, timid voice.

"Ruby, what is it?" he asked.

"I lied," she replied, barely a whisper. "I lied, Uncle Qrow, I didn't go to Velvet's, I went somewhere else. These kids at school were having a party, and they asked me to come, and I did, but now everything's getting out of hand, people are drinking, and they're breaking stuff and yelling and this one guy has been following me around all night, and I don't know anybody here, they're all older than me and I'm hiding in the bathroom but people keep knocking on the door--"

"Whoa, slow down there, kid, just breathe for a sec," Qrow tried to keep his voice steady, but just about every muscle in his body was tensed and ready to spring to action.

There was a muffled knock, and someone shouted from Ruby's end of the line.

"Occupied!" Ruby called out. She must have put her scroll closer to her face then, because Qrow didn't have to strain to hear, "I'm scared, Uncle Qrow."

"Where are you?" Qrow demanded. Ruby rattled off an address. "Alright. I'm gonna get Tai, and we're gonna get you out of there."

"No!" Ruby cried, "You can't tell Dad, please, Uncle Qrow, you can't let him find out. He'll be so disappointed in me."

That made Qrow pause, if only for a split second. Did Ruby think so little of him that she didn't care what he might think? But that didn't matter, not right now, because his niece was in trouble, and she was trusting Qrow to help her.

"Okay. Hang tight, kiddo. I'll be there as fast as I can."

"Please hurry."

Not even seconds after hanging up, Qrow was scrambling up the stairs. "Going to bed, goodnight!" he called to Tai, not much caring about his reading anymore.

Qrow burst through the door to the spare room he'd been staying in, kicking it shut behind him and grabbing his weapon from where it was leaned against the wall. He threw open the window and leapt into the night air.

There was a moment of vertigo as his body plummeted towards Tai's flowerbeds on the ground below, before he erupted in feathers and propelled himself higher into the sky. With all the places he'd been, the things he'd done, the missions for Oz, he had never flown this hard.

The only thing faster than his wings was his mind, racing a mile a minute, tearing him apart from inside. What was Ruby doing at a party with people she didn't know, people older than her, and a lot less innocent and a lot more reckless? Ruby was smart, why would she make the decision to go there? Unless she thought it was something okay. Unless she had seen her uncle drinking and wanted to try it for herself. Unless she'd heard the stories Qrow had told from his younger days, about the wild and reckless things he'd done. He was regretting those things now more than ever before.

It was easy to spot the house, it was the only one on the street with all the lights on, music was blaring, and kids were scattered over the lawn. Qrow swooped down, only to have a red plastic cup thrown at his head. With an indignant squawk, he dove into some bushes.

Nobody seemed to notice a grown man stepping out of the shrubbery; they were too drunk or didn't care, or both. Qrow brushed the leaves from his hair and started up the walkway. The obnoxious music was starting to give him a headache.

He nearly keeled over when he opened the front door. The crowd inside was generating a powerful stench of weed, body odor, and booze. It was even louder in here, people were shouting and breaking things. Qrow flinched as an expensive-looking vase was thrown and shattered against the wall. But he had more important things to worry about.

"Bathroom?" he asked a kid next to him.

The kid pointed to a worn set of stairs leading farther up into the house.

"Hey man," he said, "cool sword. What are you, like a huntsman or something?"

Qrow gripped the hilt, feeling reassured. He was an adult. He could handle this. And even if he couldn't, Ruby needed him, so he would try.

The kid who he'd asked about the bathroom and had liked his weapon was trying to give him a beer now. Qrow brushed him off, thinking he would very much like a drink of something to calm his nerves but now wasn't the time. He elbowed his way through a sea of dancing teenagers to get to the stairs, nearly tripping over someone passed out and sprawled across the landing. Qrow did his best not to step on her and continued on his mission.

What he heard at the top of the stairs curdled his blood.

"Come on, Little Red. Open the door. I'm sorry, let me make it up to you. We can get out of here, go back to my place--"

The guy didn't finish his sentence, because if he did, he would have lost his Adam's apple. Qrow shoved him against the wall, blade millimeters away from his throat.

Qrow had never really believed in the term "seeing red" until now. He was seething, breathing so hard he could hardly get his words out, and in that moment, he could have killed this guy.

"You stay away from my niece," he spat. "Stay away, and if you so much as look at her again, this blade is gonna be the last thing you ever see. Understand?"

The guy nodded as much as he could, given one wrong move could cost him his head.

"Say it," Qrow growled through his teeth.

"I- I understand." He was obviously drunk, but fear shone through his glassy eyes. Good.

"Get the fuck out." Qrow lowered the sword, and gave him a shove towards the stairs for good measure.

When he was sure the guy had left, Qrow turned to the bathroom door.

"Ruby," he knocked softly. "Ruby, open up, it's me, it's Qrow."

"U-uncle Qrow?" Ruby sniffled from inside.

"Yeah, it's me, I'm here, kiddo. Can you open the door? Please." He just had to see her. He had to know she was alright.

After a few moments, the door opened with a soft click, and before Qrow could brace himself, Ruby crushed him in the tightest hug he'd ever received. And he returned it.

"Ruby," the air rushed from his lungs, and he fought to refill them. "Kid, what the hell are you doing here? Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

"You came," Ruby managed. Her voice was shaky. "I'm so, so sorry, Uncle Qrow, I'm so sorry, it'll never happen again, I promise."

"I'm just glad you're safe," Qrow murmured, gently stroking her hair. "Let's get outta here."

He escorted her down the stairs and to the door, shielding her from stray elbows and flying objects, and they left the property altogether. He kept a steady hand on her shoulder the whole way.

They had a decent walk ahead of them. Cabs wouldn't take passengers carrying giant weapons unless they had a huntsman's liscence, and Qrow had left the house in a panic, not thinking to grab his wallet. Even then, there was no money in it.

Ruby was silent as they plodded towards home, which was unusual for her. She kept opening her mouth like she wanted to speak, but then changed her mind. Finally, Qrow couldn't take any more of it.

"Spit it out," he said, not unkindly.

She stared down at her hands. "I'm sorry, Uncle Qrow."

Qrow sighed. "I'm just glad you're safe now. But I hope you learned your lesson, 'cause I'm pretty sure you turned all my hairs gray after tonight."

That made Ruby smile a little bit, and Qrow put an arm around her as they walked.

"Seriously, though," Qrow said, losing some of the light tone, "what were you doing there?"

"These kids at school," Ruby explained, picking at a loose thread on her sleeve, "they told me about it, and they said if I didn't go, then I might as well not bother coming back to school because I'd be a laughing stock. And you know what? Those kids weren't even there tonight. I don't know how I could be so stupid."

There was a bit of relief that washed over Qrow that he wasn't the immediate cause of this, then guilt at the fact he might have been at all. Stronger though, was anger, threatening to bubble over. He had some very specific words for Ruby's schoolmates, but he bit them back for now. He stopped walking, and knelt to look Ruby in the eye.

"You are not stupid. You made a mistake tonight, we all do. What's important is that you recognized it. And those kids at school, don't let them, or anyone else, speak to you like that. And if they do, you need to tell me. Tell me, or your dad, or some friends or a teacher, tell somebody. Understand?"

Ruby nodded, "I understand."

Somewhere along the way back, Ruby grew tired, her feet started to drag, and her eyes drooped. Somewhere along the way, Qrow crouched down and mumbled, "Get on board," and that was how he ended up sneaking back into the house with Ruby clinging to his back like a koala.

It was late, and all the lights were out, so Tai was probably gone to bed. Qrow didn't much feel like dealing with an angry dad tonight. He lowered Ruby to her feet as they tiptoed through the kitchen towards the stairs. Qrow cursed when he stubbed his toe on the banister. The whole thing set him off balance, and he landed, unceremoniously, on the staircase with a resounding thud.

"Shit," he muttered, listening for the sound of footsteps to tell him what little luck he had had run dry. The house was silent.

"Come on," he whispered to Ruby, "let's get you to bed."

Ruby kicked off her shoes and crawled under the covers as soon as they got to her room. Qrow eased the door shut, and lowered himself to sit on the edge of the bed. It hit him then that he was exhausted, and sore from falling up the stairs.

"Uncle Qrow?"

"Yeah?"

"You won't tell Dad about this, will you?"

What was left of Qrow's energy may as well have seeped down into the floorboards and been absorbed by the moonlight. He rested his forehead on his hand and sighed.

"Kiddo, I don't think this is something I feel comfortable keeping from your dad. Tai'll kill me if he finds out I kept this from him."

"He'll kill me, too!" Ruby protested.

Qrow chuckled and shook his head. "You're his little rose petal, he'll get over it. But, Ruby, if you don't tell him, I will. You're growing up, and you've gotta learn to take responsibility for your actions. I'll tell that you now, because I know how much it sucks to learn the hard way."

Ruby sighed and laid her head down on her pillow. "You're right."

"You'll be fine," Qrow assured her. "Just get some rest now."

"I can't fall asleep."

"You didn't even try yet."

"Uncle Qrow," Ruby looked up at him with puppy dog eyes, "will you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?"

Qrow answered by closing his eyes and leaning back. Ruby snuggled into his side.

"Thank you," she whispered. "For everything."

"You're welcome, kiddo."

[one-night-story]

Echoes of You (Spike Spiegel)

A/N: The formatting on this is h e l l. But when nostalgia slaps you and says “Fall in love with Spike Spiegel again.” You do as it’s says. Thus this

Roman Holiday had changed who she was so many times she didn’t remember who she was when she started. She’d been a drug lord, a spy, an informant, a bounty, a runaway. But these days, with blue and purple hair and a coat large enough to hide a pistol, she settled on being a ghost among the streets, listening and picking up information as she went. She found herself on Mars, mourning friends and paying dues. She was going to have to disappear again soon. But first, she needed food, scissors, and some hair dye; though she was uncertain what color. She tried walking into a convenience store when she ran into someone.

“Sorry about that.” The guy said. From that one comment Roman almost got whiplash. That voice shouldn’t be talking to her. That voice should’ve been dead. If not from the first time, then definitely the second time. She looked up at him and sure enough it was him. Spike Spiegel in all his blue suited, disheveled glory. And he looked just as shocked to see her. “Ro-?” He didn’t get to finish her name because she took off, sprinting in the opposite direction as fast as she could. He of course went after her, he always would, and she scaled a building to get to the roof. She pulled her pistol and waited for him to catch up.

“Who are you?” She asked.

“Ro don’t do this.”

“Tell me! Stop playing cruel tricks and just tell me!” She yelled. It couldn’t be him, it shouldn’t be him.

“Roman, it’s really me.”

“Bullshit, you died.”

“I didn’t,”

“Then you died again.”

“I’ve had worse.” He said with his trademark lazy smile. Roman almost let up at that. He still knew her weak points.

“Gimme the word.” She said, lowering her gun but not putting it away. He furrowed his brows and then figured it out.

“Lily.” He said. Roman lowered her pistol entirely and put it away. Her flower of choice. Julia had roses, she had lilies. Her whole form softened, though she was far from the Roman he used to know. Spike took a step forward to see if she’d let him and sure enough, she didn’t move. “It’s good to see you Roman. Glad to know you’re still picking up information.” He said. Roman shrugged and sat down, still keeping her distance.

“Nothing better to do on this dirt rock. You know you threw the whole operation into chaos, right? There’s a power vacuum with at least seven people trying to fill it.” She said. Spike sat across from her, a little closer than she would’ve liked, but she allowed it. She chalked it up to some primal part of her brain still wanting to keep him as close as she could. He pulled a cigarette from his pocket and stuck it in his mouth.

“What’s next for you then? Figure you’re not gonna stick around for that mess to sort itself out.” He said as he fished out a lighter and lit the cigarette. He took a drag and offered it to Roman. She took it and copied the movement. She never smoked unless she was with Spike. Again, she chalked it up to that primal part of her brain that was still 13 years old and hoped that she still stood a chance against a far prettier half-sister.

“I cut my hair, redye it and catch a flight out of here. I’m thinking Ganymede. Or the asteroids. Hell, I could go be a small fry in Tijuana.” She said.

“And what color will it be this time?” He asked. Roman’s mood was usually determined by her hair. She changed it with regimes, mood, the music she was listening to that month, and sometimes when she felt she had no control of anything. He watched as she thought over her answer.

“Red. Probably. Or pink. Julia always thought I’d look good with pink.” She said muttering the last part.

“You would.” He said. Roman tried to not flush to the color in question, but she never did take compliments well. “I remember she was constantly trying to push you out of the shadows.”

“I like the shadows. No one judges me there. I’m useful there.” Roman argued. Spike chuckled and took a drag from his cigarette. The motion was repeated when he passed it to her to take a drag.

“Maybe, but you have no reason to stay there. Unless you wanna start working for the police.” He said.

“I could be a bounty hunter.” She said with a shrug.

“Oh no, I don’t think I could have you competing for my dinner money too.” He said with his trademark smile. Roman laughed at his comment, a real laugh. Something she hadn’t done in a while. As she laughed, Spike watched her. Her face was lit up by the beginnings of sunset and neon. Her and Julia had no personality similarities, but sometimes they did have physical ones.

“I haven’t done that in forever.” She said when she finally calmed down. Spike smiled at her. She seemed lighter now, more at ease. It was like the laughter fit had locked her into a time machine and she had shed so many years of cynicism with ease. “What about you? What becomes of the great Spike Spiegel? Now newly undeceased again.” She asked. Spike thought it over. He wasn’t certain. He didn’t know if he could go back to the Bebop. But he didn’t know any other way of life. Maybe just him and Jet could strike out again. Maybe he needed to go forward. Maybe he needed to disappear.

“No idea. Maybe dye my hair and change planets.” He said. Roman rolled her eyes.

“Hey, don’t steal my one thing.” She said. Spike chuckled and actually gave her a genuine smile. They were silent for a minute, casually passing the cigarette between themselves. For a moment they felt like teenagers again, sharing cigarettes and sharing a moment of uncertainty. At least that’s how Roman always felt in moments like these. Until finally she broke the tension.

“Annie told me you came to see her.” She said as she looked down.

“Yeah. Thought I might finally kill him.”

“Ignored my bounty then.”

“Always did. Whenever it came up, no matter what the price, no matter what name you were under. I wouldn’t do that to you Roman.” He said. It felt like a whisper on the wind. Like if he said it any louder, he’d lose her like he lost Julia. Roman leaned into this, allowing one of her knees to knock into his. She needed this. She needed him. Outside of just that primal part that told her she was once 13 and crushing on the one person in the whole galaxy she couldn’t have.

“I look at you and I think… god what have we done with our lives? And what did it get us?” She said with what Spike could only describe as the truest form of sadness he’s ever seen from her. Roman Holiday kept all her cards close to her chest until one day, she’d die. But now? He felt like he was peering through a brick in her wall. “I loved my sister more than anything in this life. And I chose her happiness over mine, time and time again.” She scoffed and leaned back on her hands. “God I can’t believe I’m saying this.”

“What?” He asked. He wasn’t sure what was coming next, but curiosity killed him to know.

“A million years ago, she said to me “this one’s mine.” So, I stood by.” She said. “And I knew I shouldn’t do anything, I should just leave and pretend I never met you. But Julia,”

“She was too kind for that.” He said as his brain was slowly putting the pieces together. He had always wondered when they were kids, even before Roman became a shadow figure, why she always seemed to fall into that point, even when Julia brought her out, or when he tried to talk to her. But now he got it. She’d been hiding pain this whole time.

“I should go.” She said. She stood up and dusted herself off. Spike stood up as well and grabbed her wrist before she could go anywhere.

“Don’t disappear again.” He said. Roman looked down at her beat up shoes, trying to hide what had just come to pass.

“You can’t ask that of me.” She said.

“Ro, you’re all I’ve got left.”

“And who’s fault is that?” She snapped. Spike wanted to get offended. But he remembered an incident when they were younger, where he’d gotten too close and she’d snapped, and he retaliated. They didn’t speak for a month. Not until Julia forced them to, and not until after he’d brought her lilies. He sighed and plucked the nearly burnt out cigarette from his teeth and passed it to her. She took a drag and then stomped it out. She was still looking down at it when Spike brought her face to look up at him. Roman unintentionally leaned her cheek into his hand, blinking at him a couple of times.

“I won’t let this be the last time I see you Roman.” He said. Spike, at his core, was a deeply sentimental person. He couldn’t lose Roman. She reached up and brought his face to hers, giving him a small, soft and what Spike could only describe as a ghost of a kiss. Like she was afraid of what fully kissing him would mean. He kissed her cheek in turn, letting it sit there a little longer than either of them expected. When they separated, they put the distance back between them. Once again, afraid of what the closeness would do to them. She tossed him a comm unit she had pocketed off some guy and he caught it with ease.

“Call that ship of yours.”

“Wouldn’t that be going backward?” He asked.

“One step backward to go miles forward? I think it’s worth it. Call them Spiegel.” She said. Spike nodded.

“Remember, pink.” He said. Roman gave him a small, soft smile and nodded.

“See you Space Cowboy.” She said as she ran off the edge of the roof, scaling down the building to go buy some scissors, some food, and some pink hair dye.

[nine-prcnt]

all your life

request ; hi ! can i please request a wenjun au (whatever format bc i honestly dont mind) where he is your family friend, but for some reason you have beef. enemies to lovers i guess?? thank you so much :))

requested by ; @duckmcduckerson

your family is the type of family that always has people over and participates in the community

and somehow, bi wenjun has managed to attach himself to your family

you don’t know when it happened but it did

at first everything was fine but then the fire nation attacked

jokes jokes

something happened and you just started hating the fact that he was always around you, even when it was supposed to be just family

honestly it’s been so long that you can’t even remember what happened

all you remember is that something did and it warranted you disliking him to the point where him even being around pissed you off

now it was your first birthday since you had begun college

you had gone home and looking forward to the celebration without wenjun around

he was supposed to be off at his own respective college

keywords, supposed to be

and yet when you got home he was already there, waiting on your parent’s damn couch

somewhere he had also developed a dislike towards you, from what you saw of him around you

you kicked his legs off the coffee table without a word

‘mom! we are back!’

your mother popped her head out from the kitchen

the two of you hugged and your father who had come in from the car joined the two of you

they sent you upstairs to your room to get changed since that night was just to relax and catch up, your birthday actually being tomorrow

you took a shower and you had just come out with just a towel wrapped around you when a figure propped itself up against the door

‘come on, don’t you want to to play?’

you looked over your shoulder and saw bi wenjun who made your doorway look small

‘okay first of all, last time i did anything with you, you hit me with your yo-yo

‘secondly, this might seem a bit indecent if anyone saw, considering i’m in just a towel.’

without missing beat, he said ‘I think you look pretty decent.’

grabbed the towel you had been using to dry off your hair and whipped him

he held up his hands in surrender

‘alright, alright, geez no need to be kinky with me’

‘just get out of my room’

by the time you had gotten downstairs, your parents had managed to break out all of the snacks and desserts which sat on a coffee table in front of the selection of board games they put out

the night was filled with the snide remarks that you and wenjun threw across the board at each other

the next day you and wenjun spent as little time together as possible 

or at least you had tried to do that, he seemed stuck to your side which was frustrating beyond your imagination

it wasn’t until your parents left to the store that he finally left you alone

even though it was a small get together with the four of you, your parents insisted on having a proper party with a big dinner

you had to go out to the shed which, for some reason, was where your parents still had the freezer

they said it was because they had too much and it wouldn’t all fit in the fridge freezer

you were hesitant to go to the shed on your own bcos the door had a habit of closing itself and locking

you figured your parents would be back soon so if the door did shut then they would realise

it wasn’t until you were out in the shed and reaching into the freezer that wenjun appeared

‘what are you doing out here?’

he was leaning against the doorframe with the door right behind him 

‘i could ask you the same thing?’

‘i saw you from upstairs and was curious. now why are you out here?’

he took a step towards you

‘i’m just getting some food for- the door?’

he turned around just in time for it to slam in his face, gust of wind disturbing his hair and all

‘what’s wrong with the door?’

you sighed and thought to yourself, just what was wrong with this boy and now you were stuck with him

‘oh nothing, nothing at all. except the fact that until my parent’s come back we aren’t getting out?’

your voice was dripping with sarcasm and spite

‘what do you mean not getting out?’

he was as pretentious and condescending as you had remembered, not a bonus considering today was your birthday

it was then he tried the door

surprise, surprise, it wouldn’t open

‘well hey, we wouldn’t be in this mess if you hadn’t come out, distracted me from getting the food out and then let the door slam shut’

‘i didn’t even know that it would do that, sorry i can’t control the weather’

you threw the food back in the freezer and sat on it

‘you know what, just don’t talk to me and let’s wait until my mom and dad come back’

you check your watch

‘which should hopefully be soon’

wenjun sat on an upside down pot

well he tried to before giving up, he was too tall for this

instead, to your delight, he sat next to you on the freezer

‘what do you think you’re doing?’

‘sitting down, the pot was not a good idea’

‘ugh fine’ 

you moved over so that there was the most amount of space as there could have been between you two

the silence that came next lasted for way too long

your parents should have come back at that point and yet you were still with wenjun

‘do you have your phone?’

‘no, why?’

‘i just wanted to check what was taking them so long’

‘oh’

and the silence came back, heavier than ever now that you both had spoken a few words

‘hey, why don’t you like me?’

you thought about it but you couldn’t remember what he had done in the past to annoy you so much

‘i dont remember but i do remember that you really pissed me off’

‘wait- you dislike me so much because of something that you can’t even remember?’

‘well it’s not as though you helped it because you act as though you don’t like me either’

‘that’s only because-’ 

he cut himself off as though about to say something he would regret

‘oh come on wenjun, i’d love to hear this. why did you act as though you didn’t like me for so long?’

he hesitated for a moment

‘it’s because i like you!’ 

the words poured from his mouth in a rush

‘you’re kidding me?’

‘oh come on y/n, we were kids and i thought that i was supposed to be mean to the girl i liked!’

he was off the freezer now, a few steps ahead and facing away from you

‘so why did you keep being mean to me then?’

‘i don’t know, you just kept being rude so i was rude back and it just became how i talked to you?’

you snorted but took a while to process all of this

‘look, i know that it’s not the best reason but it’s the truth or at least what i can figure out’

he was quiet, studying your unreadable expression

‘so,’ you said after a while

‘you still like me?’

the blush crept up his neck as he opened his mouth

‘don’t try to deny it, you said that you acted like that because you like me, present tense.’

he leaned against the door, arms crossed and a pout on his face, looking anywhere but at you

‘maybe, it’s not as though it matters though’

‘and why not?’

‘because you don’t like me like that. hell. you don’t even like me as a friend’

you shrugged

‘i don’t even remember what i was angry over wenjun’

he looked up at you

‘i’m sure we could start again, maybe as friends’

you glanced at his face and something told you that if you said it you wouldn’t regret it

‘maybe as something more?’

his heart leapt as the words left your mouth

‘are you sure?’

it was then that the door from behind wenjun opened and he stumbled backwards, almost falling over in the process

‘finally you guys are back!’

you and your dad went to the kitchen to start on food, not forgetting what you had meant to pick up from the freezer, unlike wenjun’s question

you didn’t need to remember it though

your mother who had caught wenjun comforted his doubts

‘trust what she says, she wouldn’t say it if she didn’t mean it’

DONE! okay this took forever and i’m so sorry but i’ve been bogged down with school and just i’ve had writers’ block which hasn’t been pleasant so this has been sitting in my drafts unfinished for the longest time! i’m so happy to get this out as i’m off to bed in the next few minutes~ 

i also have an oral tomorrow (i think) and i have been trying to get both study and this done all day! i got one done tho

-xinru

masterlist // rules

[captainderyn]

A Study In Patience

Title: A Study In Patience

Summary: Captain Rielay Taqq has dealt with Hutts before, she’s dealt with scenarios of threatened destruction more times than she should probably count.  Putting the two together should be a piece of cake...but as it turns out adding family to the mix is a bit like herding cats. 

Notes: Esrin, Fashira, and Zasharr all belong to @delavairesslegacy

“Emeldir, what’s going on down there?” 

Waiting with bated breath as her--no, Emeldir’s, this wasn’t her ship--holocomm hissed and buzzed with static and chaos from the other end of the line, Rielay leaned her elbows onto the main control frame. 

“Uh,” Her shoulders heaved in a sigh of relief when the familiar cadence of Emeldir’s voice broke through the static. “There’s a large fissure opening underneath us. But it’s fine, we're fine...” His voice cut off for a moment and despite the fact that Rielay couldn’t do anything from her--no, his damn it. His ship. Zasharr was flying hers while Emeldir and his crew were on the ground--ship she was gritting her teeth against a few choice words when he cut back in, braced like she was ready to leap into action. “--make another run? They’re launching now--” 

“And there isn’t enough time to reach the people stuck on the outskirts of the fissure.” Rielay supplied in the wake of the static, gritting out through her teeth: “So you’re standing over a massive fissure and my husband is probably either by the giant fissure or on the outskirts with no evac?” 

“Mhmm...” Emeldir hovered over giving an answer, torn between sniping something back or trying to ease her worry. He went with neither, mumbling something that vaguely resembled a guilty: "Yes m'am" but really sounded like: “Yes’m.” 

“I swear on the stars, Emeldir Deryn you are leading me to an early grave.” 

Her snarled comment fell on deaf ears as the channel cut out completely and she glared at the empty comm display, fingers clenching over the controls before she snapped up the ramp and activated the engine and thrusters. The Phoenix whirled to life around her, rumbling with far more power than her own ship had ever seen thanks to Risha’s additions over the last few years, and an inquisitive noise came from the central area of the ship. 

“We’re making another run, Fashira! Should be the last one before this all goes to hell!” She shouted over her shoulder, perhaps with far more force than warranted. 

Already she could see columns of smoke rising from outside the viewport, large rock formations tipping and shaking with the rocking of the earth. So help her if anyone in her ragtag family got hurt on this Hutt controled rock...

“Got it Rielay, I’ll prep for landing again!” Fashira called back, voice cooling her agitated nerves into simple steam. She didn’t sound worried, but then again Fashira never seemed worried. The cathar oozed calm, the perfect crew member to temper Rielay’s rising frustration. 

Needing an outlet for her growing nerves she smacked her hand into the comm device, poking around for the contact for the Promise. “We’re making one last run, make it count. Get my ship off planet without any scratches or else.” 

“Sure thing, Red.” Zasharr’s voice snapped over the holo, reverberating with suppressed laughter. “No scratches or scorch marks or it’s on me.” 

“Count on it.” Rielay growled before her voice softened. “Stay safe out there, got it?” 

Before they cut the feed entirely and made for their landing, swooping down close to the surface that was more spitting lava and less solid land with each passing second, Zasharr actually laughed. “Such a worrier now, Captain. Will do.” 

"Blame the maternal instincts then Zash. Don't be giving me snark."

She damn well would worry, this whole planet was splintering beneath them and her entire family was to some degree flying straight towards the growing patches of red hot lava. And they had wanted to leave her behind, far behind. Home on Corellia behind. 

It didn’t matter, she had plenty of reason to worry and it was well within her rights to do so. 

'But Rielay...' the protests had rung, carefully spoken. 'Dont you think you should sit this one out? For both your sakes?'

As if being a few months into her pregnancy made her less likley to let those she cared about be stupid without her there to make sure they all stayed together and mostly in one piece. 

No she very well would not "sit this one out.".

She had stressed, and argued, and bargained, and negotiated and bargained some more to her own band of worriers to let her fly her ship. Deryn’s ship. A ship. Something that vaguely resembled a ship.

She had won in the end. Won herself the pilot ship of the Phoenix. And she still had plenty of reason to worry and she would continue do so.

“We all clear?” Rielay called back to Fashira, bouncing her hand up and down on the controls as she waited for a response. Knowing that the entire planet was splitting beneath them--where somewhere Deryn was on the ground by it and her husband was somewhere else in the entire mess with no contact--should have had her stressed. And she was stressed, but she hid it well under a spitting frustration. 

“All set.” Fashira appeared on the bridge, eyeing the smoke gathering below their flight path, then fixing her knowing eyes on Rielay and the way her own eye was glaring out the viewport. “Rielay, want me to take this run?” 

That glare snapped to Fashira in all its fiery glory, though her voice spluttered like she hadn’t fully processed the question. “W-what? No! I’m flying, you take the controls on that side.” She twitched her hand towards the far side of the control board. “And make sure we don’t crash.” 

Ceding to her unmovable captain, Fashira took the the controls with only a slightly irritated huff. “Esrin isn’t going to be happy if--”

“Esrin,” Rielay growled. “is in no position to be anything but damn well happy I don’t show up with my blaster charged and my finger on the trigger to shoot the sons of Hutts who thought this was a good idea.” 

“I...” The cathar started before shaking her head with a shake of her head and an audible sigh. “Alright, you know what your doing.” The exasperated ‘most likely’ hung off the end unspoken.

As it turned out flying back down towards the surface of a planet that was rocking and tumbling to pieces was easier in theory than it was in practice. The turbulence threw the Phoenix back and forth in the air, making Rielay grit her teeth as she played a delicate balancing game with the thruster strength to avoid the approaching surface. 

“Alright evac group zerek-ten get ready to load, it’s going to be a tight squeeze.” Releasing her hold on the comm button she waited in the static for the response from the Republic soldier in charge of organizing the evacuees. 

“Understood Captain Taqq. Preparing for loading.” 

Bringing her ship down for a soft landing was another study in patient maneuvering, filled with her holding her breath and biting her lip in concentration until her ship’s landing gears thunked down on the grassy clearing they had for landing extra evac ships. Even with an experienced pilot’s skill the freighter still rocked back and forth jarringly and Rielay made a disgruntled noise in the back of her throat as she activated the ship’s top shielding against falling debris and lowered the ramp. 

Time for the chaos of trying to organize more terrified people than her ship could technically hold. With a deep breath Rielay made to step out onto the main floor of the Phoenix before Fashira stopped her with a hand on her arm. “I’ll take the front, you take organizing them where you want them. The ramp got pretty rowdy last run.”

She couldn’t argue with that, she still had the smarting spot on her cheekbone from someone’s elbow meeting her face. Nodding, she bounded over to the storage crates she had pushed into the corner and clambered on top of one as Fashira rushed to the ramp. 

“They’re coming in Captain!”

The first wave of people came rushing in and Rielay cupped her hand around her mouth, gesturing with her other one. “Head down the hall and take your first right, it’s going to be a tight squeeze so pack in tight...” 

It continued much the same, rumbles shaking up through the floor as she shouted over the rising noise where to go and what to do until her voice was hoarse. At some point in the blur of activity someone had shoved a very young and very unhappy baby into her arms and not long after that she had found herself with another lost, young child shunted into her care. While the baby cried at the increasing frequency of rumbling and the thumping of debris ricocheting of the ship’s shields the other young child--thankfully old enough to be on her own two feet--clung to her leg. 

By the stars this was going to be harder than she thought. 

Fashira finally appeared, the ramp easing closed behind her and the last of their evacuees squeezing in. Almost all the floor space of the Phoenix was filled with people squished in like sardines except for the bridge, kept blessedly clear for her own sanity when flying them out of here. 

She ran her free hand over the trembling child clinging to her leg’s head comfortingly before trying her best to distract the younger long enough to murmur some comforting nonsense to hopefully ease the crying. It worked momentarily until the next quake hit, where it started all over. Out of time she cleared her throat, leaned her elbow on the intercom button to carry her instructions throughout the ship and strained her cracking voice to shout: “Alright everyone listen up! We’re flying--” 

Her words fell on deaf ears, the scared chatter overpowering her voice and her stature too small to gain much attention even with her standing on the crates as she was. Fashira reached her side and cupped her hands over her mouth so her voice boomed across the crowd: “Everyone listen! Your captain is speaking!”

With a thankful nod, Rielay tried again. “We’ll be taking off again asap to rendezvous at the Ark! It’s going to be a rough ride so everyone please be aware of what’s around you and stay calm. When we reach the Ark exit this ship  calmly; Republic forces will be there to direct you properly!”

Two of the nearest evacuees took the children from her care, nodding at Rielay’s thank you’s and murmuring comforts to the shaking and crying children. Following in Fashira’s wake as the taller, broader, cathar woman cleared a path back to the bridge Rielay stomped down her building stress and took to the controls like a bat out of hell. “Watch the main area please, I don’t want any incidents.” 

“Just focus on getting us our of here, Rielay. I’ve got it.” 

“Activating fore, rear, and side shields.” Reading off the initial steps it took to get Deryn’s ship off the ground did far more to keep her calm than any focused breathing she had tried and she stuck to it, not looking too hard at the spires of lava spurting out of gouges in the planet’s surface. Damn Hutts, damn them, damn them--

“Engaging thrusters and stabalizers, pushing engines...” The ship heaved itself off the ground, doing its best to maintain a straight course in the buffeting conditions as she guided them into the air. “Retracting landing gears and...we should be clear of the ground tremors now.” 

Rielay rested one knee on the captain’s seat, sticking her tongue in her cheek as she pushed the engines a little harder, eyeing the temp monitor nervously. “Either the ship is starting to feel it’s runs today or the core temperature of Makeb is going up. Or both.” 

But Fashira had been drawn out into the crowd, no doubt to cool rising tensions in the cramped spaces and the stress of separated families. “Right. Well, we’re almost in the upper atmosphere anyways. Keep it together.” she finished to herself, hissing out a breath between her teeth as the Phoenix punched through the clouds, trying not to think too hard about who could remain on the surface. 

The hangars were just as chaotic as the ground space had been, Rielay learned after docking the Phoenix and ushering her passengers into the capable and organized hands of the Republic forces stationed on the Ark--which in itself was docked at the Makeb Orbital Station, but all Makeb bodies had to go through the Ark to get to the Station on Custom’s rules, making things far more complicated than she cared to tolerate. 

 Across the hangar, filled with three other hired freighters, she saw the Promise as Zasharr had confirmed after picking up her holo on the first ring. The cathar himself hadn’t escaped such a long distance affirmation.  After the routine check over making sure there was a distinct lack of injuries and other life threatening complications Zasharr’s eyes widened as Rielay threw her arms around him--his arms flailing for a moment before settling gently around her with an awkward pat between her shoulder blades. “Aright Red, what’s this about?” 

“Let’s just...not do this again. Let’s not split up and go into a dying planet please.” She said into his shoulder before she slipped back, reigned back in her frayed nerves, and raked her hands through her hair, looking between the cathar duo and working up her ‘business- captain’ voice. “We’re going to have to refuel so if you two want to go find somewhere to rest, somewhere to eat or something feel free, it’s been a long day. I’ll holo when we get the green light to leave.” 

Fashira gave her a worried once over, then looked to the empty ship around them. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t wan to leave you here alone.”

Waving them off, she offered a tired smile. She didn’t need her crew here to watch her fret and pace, that usually didn’t require an audience. “I’m fine. Deryn let me know he’s coming to retrieve his ship and then I’m going to find Esrin.” 

After sharing a look they had probably hoped Rielay couldn’t read, reluctantly Fashira and Zasharr turned away and retreated down the ramp, disappearing into the thinning crowds. It was only a few minutes of silence occupied by her three holocalls to Esrin’s device that fell unanswered and the typed “Meet in hangar cresh-eighteen? Docked there.” that conveyed much less of the worry that was burning its way through her chest than she felt before Emeldir and his crew reached the Phoenix. 

They looked worse for wear, with haphazard kolto patches covering burns and deeper cuts visible through torn sleeves and singed cuffs. “You look like you’ve been through hell and back.” 

Emeldir scoffed out what might’ve been a laugh as his crew all nodded to her and trudged off to clean off and treat their wounds. Risha hovered for a moment longer, letting her hand linger on Emeldir’s arm as something silent passed between them. Then she was gone and it was just the two of them. Whatever iron her fellow captain stiffened his spine with to stay energetic for his crew melted and he slumped against the wall, letting his head thump back against the metal. “I see my ship made it through alright, nice flying. Guess I shouldn’t have expected anything less. You alright too?”

“It was rough going, but I’ll consider not losing an engine a victory.” Shrugging her shoulder Rielay added: “Silly question, I’m fine, all I did was shout at people and fly.” She glanced down at her still-blank holocomm. Where was he? “Does it look like the planet is coming out of this?” 

Shaking his head, Emeldir’s voice dropped low. “No. We were able to evac who we could...but not every civilian made it to an evacuation point.” 

Sighing, Rielay pressed her lips together. That was a fact of these kinds of flights she tried not to think too hard on. She wasn’t going to think too hard on what civilian could be defined as and how many others had been left stranded without access to an evacuation point.“We can’t save ‘em all, kid, but we damn well tried.”

The pause bloated with guilt and a lack of conviction, Emeldir simply shook his head. “I know but...” He shook his head again and let the thought drop, instead crossing the small space to put his hands on Rielay’s shoulders. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

Her eyes darted up to him, an assurance already on the tip of her tongue until her look slipped back to the comm in her hand and she sank her teeth into her lower lip. “I’m...it’s just...the last contact I had was...” With a frustrated whine she raked a hand through her hair and then let it flop down to her side. “I think I’m just going to go back to my ship.” 

For a brief moment an argument passed over Emeldir’s face before he even said anything. All he said was: “I don’t just want to leave you in this hangar alone.” 

At that she did roll her eyes before softening at the kid’s typical worry. No crew member left behind--old or new--or whatever went through her fellow captain’s head. “You and your crew deserve some quiet. Besides, Fashira and Zasharr would come back if I asked them to.” 

Gently she took Emeldir’s hand from her shoulder. “I’ll be fine, okay? Just stressed and need to go back to my own ship.” 

--

She was curled halfway up the ramp of the Promise, leaning against one of the struts with her knees drawn as tightly towards her as her body would allow, when she saw the remaining crowd shifting ever so slightly. 

The holocomm fell from her hands--suddenly limp--and thudded down the ramp, spinning to a half at the base. Without looking down towards it she rocked to her feet, clinging to the strut as she pressed up on her toes to try and see over the dwindling sea of heads. 

“Es-” Her exhausted voice failed her before she cleared her throat and tried again, waving her hand above her head wildly like the only XS Freighter with the Corellian blood-stripes painted on its body wasn’t conspicuous enough. “Esrin!” 

By the time he made it to her she was teetering on the edge of the ramp, reaching for him. She all but fell against him when he wrapped his arms around her waist, waiting patiently as she her arms went around his neck. 

Esrin smelled like a warzone--dirt, sweat, smoke, charred plastoid--but he was safe and there right in front of her and that alone was enough to take the weight from her chest and let her breath again. 

Heart still hammering from the stress of it all and relief she pulled back, her hands sliding up to rest on either side of his jaw. For a moment her expression was one of soft solace. “Thank the stars you’re alright, with the chaos of everything...” Then her eyes turned stormy and sharp, brow creasing. “Were you really by the giant fissure? The one that caused this whole mess?” One hand dropped so she could slip her fingers through the charred straps of his armor at his shoulder. “That doesn’t happen on it’s own.” 

The question wasn’t phrased as such, after all it was more an admonishment than an actually inquiry and instead she punctuated her own words by tugging on the armor straps, urging him the half step closer she needed to kiss him--hard and filled with the cocktail of relief and exasperation that muddled inside her. “You’re a brave, selfless, idiot sometimes and it terrifies me.” She murmured when she pulled back, resting their foreheads together. 

When Esrin tipped his head down to press another chaste kiss to her lips it was soft, cooling her simmering temper. “Things got a little out of hand.” He agreed, the ‘it was our duty’ laying unsaid but implied. She had to remind herself that he was still a soldier in the Republic’s army. “I didn’t mean to drop completely out of contact. I’m sorry.”

“I hated not knowing what was going on...” Rielay sighed, repeating: “I’m just glad your alright.” 

“I am.” As she bobbed her head in semi, distracted agreement he brought a hand up to push her hair behind her ear, cradling her head and catching her attention. “Rie, I am, I promise. Are you?”

Trying to suppress the slight tremble in her voice only accentuated it and Rielay grumbled. “I’m fine, I wish everyone would stop asking me that.” A slightly watery laugh. “I mean I got to fly Deryn’s ship, that in it’s self is...” Seeing as it was getting her nowhere but into a deeper hole of not believing her she stopped and reassessed what she was saying. “Trust me, I’m fine, the baby’s fine. Just tired.” 

That at least chased the worry from his expression that had festered at her rambling. “Then how about we find somewhere a little less busy, we can find something to eat, somewhere to rest while they refuel your ship.” 

In the middle of nodding an actual, not disbelieving nod she paused. “You are flying home with me, right?” At his pause her voice hitched up a notch, the ball of stress in her mind coiling tight again. “Esrin?” 

Thea idea of traveling the three days back to Corellia--she certainly wasn’t going to get the clearance to stick around Makeb space for an extended period of time--and being back and alone outside of Coronet City where things weren’t even fully settled and Sirixa was starting her first year of secondary school was very nearly enough to drive her stress through the roof again. 

“I should be able to fly home with you, don’t worry.” Gently, but insistently Esrin pulled her into motion, helping her hop off the ramp and pushing away her overwhelming, looming idea of Corellia as they drifted into the crowd. 

Tucked against his side they navigated their way through the lingering crowd, denser than it had seemed from the ramp of her ship, until they broke into the main, open area of the orbital station. There were some soldiers milling about, some typing furiously at the data terminals while some simply sat against the walls, dozing or munching on food. Within a few moments they joined the soldiers in the calm, finding a quiet corner to find reprieve in. 

It was out of the glaring florescent of the main lighting, casting it in soft shadow in it’s deepest corner, and the noise from the hangars and intercoms was muffled ever so slightly. It was peaceful, more peaceful than any structure over the raging Makeb had any right to be. 

But that was okay, because Rielay didn’t need the commotion of Makeb, she didn’t want it. She just wanted to stay the way she was, in that bubble of quiet, warm in against Esrin’s side--he had removed the hard shell of his plastoid armor sometime when they had sat down, leaving him in a black long sleeve shirt--and finally letting her heavy eyelids drift close. 

[lovphobic]

Hey I noticed you’re into reading (from your blog posts and you mentioning that you have a book blog) so I was wondering if you have any random recommendations? I’m currently trying to avoid high fantasy (dnd type and the like) cause I read it nonstop for two years…

(Also your header oh my god)

RIGHT. YES. I DO !!! disclaimer disclaimer ik my taste in books isnt for everyone but u knocked on my door im simply answering<3 ill put this under a readmore because i just know this will get long (spoiler alert. it did) but before i do know i love u for giving me an opportunity to talk about this

also, i know right !! i love the new thumbnail so much <3

these are in alphabetical order for convenience:)

STANDALONES:

Daisy Jones & The Six by Taylor Jenkens Reid - THIS BOOK!! I read it in a single sitting so needless to say it completely enthralled me. the format of the writing makes it SUPER easy to read too; its formatted like an interview so there arent really any paragraphs. The story, while an interview yes, follows this girl (the one Ms Daisy Jones) through her life and career as a lead singer for a fleetwood mac-esque band set in the 70s. When I picked this book up I thought man this does not seem like the kind of book Id be into but Ive heard a lot of good things so Ill give it a try (<- bad mindset ik). Nd I am SO GLAD I did because it's like my favorite book.. EVER now! What I said is the bare bones of what it is, because I am afraid if I get into more detail I will simply not stop. Category is for the book I think is coming of age + new adult!

Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins - This book, is technically part of a duology. But it's a disconnected duology, meaning you dont have to read it in order to understand it. Plus I didn't really like the first one too much. PLUS plus this is a wlw story. Main character Millie is having a rough fuckin go of things ok. She has an on and off again gf and while on this gf cheats on her. This sucks but also it's not too important to the plot lol. Shes applied to a university in Scotland and she gets in! This is SO GOOD Plus it gets her away from The Ex. Getting there though, she finds out shes rooming with a literal princess of Scotland (thats. literally what the GR description says. I dont think theyre actually called princesses right?). Except Millie absolutely despises her + frankly she acts very stuck up and all the usual Im A Princess Kiss My Ass shit. But it definitely starts to turn into more due to forced proximity. I will say no more... just know the story is VERRRYYY enemies to lovers in a not-annoying booktok way and I adore it. Its a bi/lesbian wlw story that I think was portrayed really nicely (cue the mean bisexual and even meaner lesbian meme) and the category is contemporary young adult :)

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel - OHHH SECOND FAVORITE BOOK ALERT. This may be a harder book to take in because it HEAVILY reflects the pandemic we're currently in, but the book takes place in the brief beginning of a pandemic, and most of the aftermath of it. Fictional variant of the swine flu, 99% mortality rate. I will admit if you do not have Shakespearian knowledge and/or knowledge on musical instruments, this might be a tough read but it is SO worth it. The book opens with the death of a renowned Shakespeare (and in general) actor, which is pretty bleak but stay with me. After he dies, the mc (at the time, Jeevan) is feeding us the plot set up, taking in all the new information about this flu thats about to rock their shit. After we get through that though, the book follows 3 people who had a connection to the actor from the beginning - the actor's first wife (Miranda), his oldest friend (Clark), and a young actress with the Traveling Symphony (Kirsten). The Symphony move from town to town 20 years post this pandemic that has left the world quite frankly apocalyptic. No zombies, just.. there are no stores theres no technology the only way to move is to walk or to find some wagons or old cars etc. Anyways they move from town to town performing Shakespeare plays for whoever is left. She, specifically, gets caught up in the crosshairs of this batshit insane 'prophet' who, believe it or not, is connected to the same actor from the beginning of the book. But I will say no more. Please read this. Or at the very least watch the hbo show, thats what im doing now. Category for the book is technically scifi, but the author wishes it was classed as theater fiction.

Survive the Night by Danielle Vega - I will admit, it has been like 6 years now since I have read this, so this will probably be a short description. But I remember absolutely loving this book when I first read it. A lot of people say this book (and the series, which I will also reluctantly mention) is quite cheesy. It might be, but I dont personally think so. oh my god professionalism drop the mc is named the same as my gf are you fuckin kidding lmfao. anyway Survive the Night (the event, not the book. also looking at it like this, now. Someone shouldve KNOWN lmao!!!) is an all-night underground rave in the New York City subway. Casey (god that feels weird) literally just got out of rehab and her friend was like :) I know what we can do for some fun. So they go to do this. And it Sucks! Its Deadly! Literally!. Something is down in these tunnels hunting them, and all the exits are blocked. In my memory, you never see the killer, you never find out if theyre human or not. So its very unseen-horror fear of the unknown. I remember it doesnt have a particularly happy ending though, I will say that. Category is young adult horror.

The Grownup by Gillian Flynn - This is a short story, technically not a book. But its worth the read! Very easy to do in an hour or two at 60ish pages! I will say, if you do read this, be prepared to briefly read about handjobs lmfao. I promise its plot relevant. The mc who I believe remains unnamed works at - I cant remember if the Shop is fraudulent or if only She is - a psychic shop. One morning, a woman comes in to make the mc's life hell, and of course the mc doesnt know this. So obviously she adds insult to injury by lying to this woman to give her life some drama. I cant say more without getting into the plot, but the story takes a Lot of turns. Category Id say is adult thriller.

The Inexplicable Logic of My Life by Benjamin Alire Sáenz - I remember when I was reading this, I specifically wondered to myself why this book wasn't talked about as much as The Other Books. You know the ones. I cant give much of a personal description of it because most of what I remember is the EMOTIONS. This book left an Emotional impact on my life and I think of it fondly. The GR description is short though - Sal used to know his place with his adoptive gay father, their loving Mexican American family, and his best friend, Samantha. But it’s senior year, and suddenly Sal is throwing punches, questioning everything, and realizing he no longer knows himself. If Sal’s not who he thought he was, who is he? - if I can remember right, I do think there is still lgbt rep in a side character. But please dont consider it just because I said that lmao Id hate myself. Read this if you need a cathartic cry and positive outlook on life. Categories are contemporary, coming of age young adult.

There's Someone Inside Your House by Stephanie Perkins - DO NOT WATCH THE MOVIE. IT SUCKS AND IT DOES NOT PORTRAY THE BOOK RIGHT AT ALL. anyways :) this was the first book to actually make me feel genuine fear, idc if anyone thinks its cheesy or bad. Because it made me feel that I will always recommend it as a good horror. The mc, Makani, has relocated due to a Dark and Terrible Past (spoiler: its not that bad lmfao i think that part of the story got overhyped). But at her new school, classmates are getting brutally slaughtered. Important and Deliberate word choice. Seemingly no connection between them, and the murders get more grotesque as the story progresses. I cant say more without getting into plot shit, sorry. Just know its so so good and I am completely unbiased /s. If you can handle horror do yourself a favor and read this at night. Category is young adult horror.

Wilder Girls by Rory Power - DO NOT trust anyone that says this is a sapphic book. There is one (1) kiss between two girls that is never expanded upon and never mentioned again. This is a horror novel. Its also the second book to make me Feel Something. This book made me So Uncomfortable and I think thats GOOD! The book is set on a remote island that houses an all girls school, except the girls at this school have some Fucked Up shit going on with them. Some are growing scales, some are growing new spines, its fucked up. This disease wasn't there from the start though. It's also infecting the wildlife around the school, which makes going outside the fence for any reason - let alone supplies (since theyre quarantined) - fucking awful. These girls know how to shoot. One day, the mc's best friend goes missing though, and oh boy do we learn some shit after that! Massive tw for Good descriptions of body horror. Category is young adult horror. Id probably also throw in a Liiiiittle bit of scifi personally.

SERIES: *I'll only talk about the first book, to save your time. Bolded titles are a Series series, Bolded and Italicised titles are a noncommittal series - you can read them out of order and itll still make sense.

A Good Girl's Guide To Murder by Holly Jackson - PRAISE BE... my favorite series to exist so far! This book follows Pip as she chooses to solve her small town's case closed murder as a senior capstone project. She plans to do this via a podcast type thing, not sure if its a podcast from the beginning. She doesnt believe that the one everyone thinks murdered this girl, IS the one who actually did it, and shes setting out to free this family from that shame, while also kinda validating their own grief. When she starts digging in to this though, bad shit starts happening, that's all ill say. Tw for animal death. Drugs get involved. I am not sure what else to say except this is a REALLY immersive story that keeps you thinking and the last book rocked my absolute shit. Category is young adult thriller.

Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins - I wont spend too much time talking about this one, because its popular (or at least it was) on tumblr. American girl goes to college (I think) in France, makes friends, falls in love with the school's heartthrob. You dont have to reach out, but if you want to you can + ill go a bit more in depth. MWAH. Very feel good fluffy romance. Same can be said for the whole series. Love it. Category is contemporary young adult.

Love and Gelato by Jenna Evans Welch - This is the book I shamefully remember the least about (my favorite is love and luck). Because of this, I am sorry to say but I am ripping the description from GR. Maybe we can buddy read it if you wanna 👀. Lina is spending the summer in Tuscany, but she isn’t in the mood for Italy’s famous sunshine and fairy-tale landscape. She’s only there because it was her mother’s dying wish that she get to know her father. But what kind of father isn’t around for sixteen years? All Lina wants to do is go back home. But then she is given a journal that her mom had kept when she lived in Italy. Suddenly Lina’s uncovering a magical world of secret romances, art, and hidden bakeries. A world that inspires her, along with the ever-so-charming Ren, to follow in her mother’s footsteps and unearth a secret that has been kept for far too long. It’s a secret that will change everything she knew about her mother, her father —and even herself. MAN even I dont remember the secret... buddy read fr??? Category is contemporary young adult.

Rosemarked by Livia Blackburne - I just recently read this duology, its low fantasy imo. The book starts off with the mc Zivah earning her rite as a high healer. She passes the test, and the same day a troop from the Empire comes in, infected with the rose plague. The rose plague is deadly, usually. With two outcomes: rosemarked and umbertouched. Coming out rosemarked is essentially a death sentence; you fight off the disease temporarily, but you can still infect people. The fever will come back to take your life. Umbertouched is the desired outcome; the marks stay but you cannot pass on or contract the disease again. The fever will not come back. Upon treating these soldiers, Zivah falls ill with the plague, and comes out rosemarked. Point A to point B she meets the li Dineas. Its a slowburn not enemies but not allies either to lovers. They invade the capitol, cannot remember why initially, but they end up Essentially starting a war. There is like no content for this book on here and its driving me up a wall. I so badly want someone to talk about this book with. Category is young adult fantasy.

Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo - Another.. semi popular one here on tumblr. So again I wont waste too much of your time with a description and just paste it from GR. Alina Starkov has never been good at anything. But when her regiment is attacked on the Fold and her best friend is brutally injured, Alina reveals a dormant power that saves his life—a power that could be the key to setting her war-ravaged country free. Wrenched from everything she knows, Alina is whisked away to the royal court to be trained as a member of the Grisha, the magical elite led by the mysterious Darkling. I wish I wish with all my heart the original trilogy was as popular as the six of crows duology. This is a series dear to me, and another low fantasy novel, category young adult fantasy.

The Merciless by Danielle Vega - Okay. I dont know you, but Im going to guess this might not be one you consider regardless of what I say LMAO. This is a book ive always described as textually gorey, uncomfortable but not Too uncomfortable. Has religious themes. This book is about an exorcism on an outcast of a girl and the consequences of it. I do not know how to begin to describe this without going off the deep end about it. This is a strange series to read, chronology wise. Theyre all connected yes, but the first two books should be read in the order they were released. The third book is a prequel so it can be read before the first two if you want, or after the fourth. The fourth is the most disconnected though, only callbacks via short memories. This is the worst selling point on a book ever Im so sorry. You like horror? You into religious themes? Exorcisms? Torture? Mean girls, literally? Possibly cheesy writing even though I dont personally think so? Perfect series for you :). Category young adult horror.

Lastly, To All The Boys I've Loved Before by Jenny Han - If you were on tumblr when this series had its boom, you'll know what this is about. Lara Jean Song Covey is a serial romantic, wrote letters shed never send to all of her crushes and stuffed them in a hatbox to forget about them. Until the letters actually do get sent one day. This leads to fake dating, a lot of drama, eventual Real dating, AH its so feelgood im going to die just thinking about it, another reread for me in the future. Definitely. Category contemporary young adult.

THAT DOES IT! Congrats if you made it to the end, hope I didnt smother you. Hope I gave you something you can use. I have a lot more to recommend but these are just the ones I hold very dear to my heart <3 lmk if you need anything else!!! love you!!!

[midnight-moonlight-and-mars]

Tricks on the Heart

This was requested a while ago… But i procrastinate too much… I had this drafted for about 4 months not touching it so here you go! Lemme know what ya think and please give it a reblog and a note cause no one talks to me and i have no life or friends😁!! ~~ ~~For two years now, Loki has been at your side through battle, as a friend, and his favorite partner in crime. You the most powerful sorceress he had ever seen. Almost as powerful as him, perhaps even more powerful than him. ~~ ~~But more recently, he wanted more than just friendship from a strong woman like you…~~ ~~You two had met when you were Dr. Strange’s apprentice and when he and Thor were searching for their father.~~ ~~It was for a brief moment but one he wouldn’t forget.~~  {Flashback} ~~Loki strolled the halls of Dr. Strange’s home looking for something to break or steal or just stick his nose in. Especially because he knew nothing about the man so of course he would try to find out his secrets.~~ ~~You were dressed in a red battle robe with your hair in perfect waves down your back, and your piercing (e/c) eyes pinned to a spell book studying, and studying hard.~~ ~~As Loki continued to stroll, he came upon candle light peering into the dark hallway. When he approached he noticed a woman sitting at a desk completely immersed in her work. ~~ ~~To him, you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.~~ ~~“Hello?” you called with a smile noticing his slender yet muscular stature standing in your door way. ~~ ~~He was tall, dark, and handsome. You could definitely could see the mischeif and wonder in his eyes. Which just so happens to be your weakness…~~ ~~Snapping out of his trance, Loki’s heart fluttered to the sound of your voice. It was so gentle and soothing… and he had no idea how or why he would pay attention to something like that…~~ ~~“I’m just taking a look around I didn’t know there was anyone else here, especially none as beautiful as you.” Loki said trying to sound as flirtatious as possible.~~ ~~The beautiful woman chuckled at his sweet words, but really, she knew what the handsome trickster was really doing.~~ ~~“If you’re trying to find anything in particular you could ask me” the woman said with a voice like silk, sprinkled with taunting sarcasm. Her smirk said it all.~~ ~~Loki was taken back by her tone but also quite flattered that she cannot be as easily deceived. ~~ ~~Loki bowed his head slightly like a dog who got caught digging in the garbage but his smile never faltered.~~ ~~Neither did hers.~~ ~~“What is your name darling?” he asked as if it would answer the storm of wonder and curiosity she had caused. Or perhaps even make it worse.~~ ~~“Y/N Y/L/N. But please you can call me Y/N/N. Loki.” ~~ ~~The way she said his name. Loki could’ve sworn he was endlessly falling again. His throat twisted in a knot and dried up like a raisin. ~~ ~~“So-so you know who i am? Aren’t you afraid?” Loki managed to say, still trying to keep his composure. He was actually quite surprised Y/N didn’t quake in fear in his presence given she knew who he was.~~ ~~“Why would I be afraid? You aren’t going to hurt because you want something from me, and you don’t want to anger my master, and finally i could take you out in less than a second, god or not.”~~ ~~Her confidence was striking, yet her voice was monotone. It terrified and excited him at the same time. ~~ ~~“Well hopefully we will meet again to try and test your theory. Until then love I shall partake in a quest for my father’s whereabouts. We shall meet again soon love.”~~ ~~Though his chuckle and taunting sarcasm hid what he was actually feeling his words stirred the tension between them into somewhat of a longing. And the way he spoke, never losing their gaze with his piercing blue eyes… She did want to see him again, and as the same for him. ~~ ~~“Until then my lord.” Y/N said with slight bow of her head and the most devious smile.~~ ~~Loki couldn’t have fell more for her than he had already. Or at least so he thought. She knew what control she had over at the time, but soon the flirtatious remarks became more than just a joke, but what Loki actually felt for Y/N, and the same for her.~~ ~~Their reunion was in battle, but still meaningful and well appreciated. Ever since then they have stuck together like glue. Even Thor saw the chemistry between them, or at least the way Loki stared at Y/N when she wasn’t looking and or EVERYTHING she did EVER.~~ ~~But he never said a word, always so reserved no matter how close they got just in case she leaves or hurts him…~~ ~~Until….~~ ~~Part 2?? Lemme know!! Sorry if the formatting is weird its just my phone is an ass and i dont have a computer to type on so i put weird symbols to show a break so bear with me here. Idk if its weird on your but it looks weird on mine.~~ ~~Thanks for reading~~ ~~-K💘~~

[survivormetaverse]

Episode 7 - "Jodi is doing the absolute MOST" ~Colin

Yasssssssss PERIODT!!!! Merge!!!!! Whooooooo

I just want the former fools to spill the tea to me lmao that's all

I made it to merge finally and I feel like I'm doing really good at talking to people. I would have to say that my favorite people right now are Collin, Jared, Amy, Jodi, Ginny and Brayden!! Those are the people I'm feeling like I could trust a lot going foward. I've gotten some sus news about Jay claiming for an alliance that didn't include me in it. So I'm not really trusting that boy right now. But of course I will continue to pretend I do. And Elle is super nice but our convorsations don't really contain much game talk and I really never know where her head is at because she's not the most active. She's more in this thing for the challenges which I can respect BUT ALSO SHES GOOD AT THEM. I think Elle is worried that people percieve her as someone who is good at challenges but it's true. I'm not about to let her win challenges all the way to the final tribal council. She is lowkey my target even though I literally love and adore her. And I met Jodi today and she is so cool and easy to talk to so maybe we will work together too! But I've gotten gossip that Jodi thinks I'm "connected." So I don't really know what that means? I could be a threat to her socially so I might not keep her the closest.��

wow we made merge. i'm not shocked to get to this point, but I am shocked to see that Danny was voted out. That is a major blow to my game he literally needed to survive one (1) more fucking round ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. But the show must go on right? Merge was overwhelming like a flood of people coming in. Some I knew some I didn't but based on my perspective here is my initial analysis of these gorls: Jodi- Finalllllllllly we back baby. Now that Danny is gone, Jodi moved herself up to my number 1 spot. I trust her I really do and I'm glad that we're back together I think that we can run this game together. However, I am withholding information from her. I wanted to tell her about only one idol, but I didn't even though we video chatted and I strongly considered telling her like I think I can trust her but at the same time it was almost like she was trying to pull some info out of me? idk i said that if i ever play the game of survivor i would never tell anyone about my idol and i'm just gonna ride with my gut. But we caught up and we are thinkin a lot of the same stuff. I feel like she's just like me, where she wants me to believe shes giving me 100% trust but shes really giving me 95% the same way I am. I still have my eye on her but she is my ideal person to ride this game with. It's just gonna be a problem when I need an ally to play something with and I'm gonna have to do major damage control. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. Amy- Girlllll idk how I feel about u anymore. Don't play the fakey fakey nicey nicey game with me you cannot bullshit the bullshit artist rn. She's working with others and trying to play the game where shes just nice to everyone and in everyones good graces. no. Jodi and i see you girllll we watchinnnnnn youuuu I don't think she fully wants to work with ginny but shes potentially tight with others too. I believe she has my back to some extent, but i know shes dipping her hand into a lot of pots. Babs- the only person i did not talk to. Colin- I know he's close with Jay so i made nice with him. Jodi informed me that hes tight with her too and I said perf bc he's tight with Jay so that is the formation of the group. Jay- Same stuff. meh. Jared- My king luv u xoxo we haven't talked too too much but I don't think we need to. You get spot number 2 my love. Also he told me about an alliance hes making with i think amy brayden anastasia and him which is good also confirms more that amy is very ugh. Brayden- Meh Ginny- Meh but also literally reached out to me and was like "i'm working with amy and anastasia and i know elle we wanna make a huge merge majority if u wanna join" LIKE WTFFFFFFF EFHIUDEHUDFBFHIUFE like u can't make this stuff up why would u tell me this????? All Ginny has done during this premerge is just reveal to me that shes actually smarter than shes making herself out to be, and it clicks now that she did not really need to connect much with us BECAUSE SHE ALREADY HAD HER PEOPLE THAT SHE WAS WAITING TO GET TO AT MERGE LIKE OMGGG the tribe placements Elle- Now miss elle.... turns out you do have a lot of connections here. And you're smart. interestingggggggggg. You are a problem for me. Anastasia- you are a problem for me already. i see you talking to everyone being all nice and shit like yes i get it youre supposed to be making connections and blah blah blah but not like this youre going about it wrong. And now I know you already have a group that you'd prioritize over me miss thing. Watchin you too. Josh- Glad he survived and I think he's riding with me. Back on original phantoms I told Jodi that I didn't speak to him when in fact josh and I were like alliance yas. I fear that he may have told Jodi that him and I were close and maybe thats where she's starting to get a bit shaky with me. But I know the two of them stuck together with an alliance of Collin Jodi and Josh. Butttt jared did tell me that josh was like i wanna work with u and he could probs be saying that to everyone yas i think i got everyone. So Jodi wants to go for ginny but I wanna go for anastasia. The tricky thing is there are soooo many advantages out there that if you say the wrong thing to someone it'll bite you in the ass unexpectedly and I am reallyyyyy not trying to get blindsided with two fucking idols in my pocket. So I want to get a group together that I proposed to jodi and jared separately which would be me, jodi, jared, jay, colin, josh. I don't think these people would run their mouths about who we voting out just to prevent an advantage from being played. I want to essentially force that group of elle brayden anastasia ginny amy(?) on the bottom but also in my good graces at face value. I think once the merge hit and even talking to jodi and jared the air is different and I feel like everyone is running around making alliances. I feel like jared and jodi even have a different air about them almost like the gears are finally starting to turn. i still gotta trust them and i think i can. It's just not gonna be cute when i start whipping out idols and theyre gonna be like wtf you fucking lied dennis. but again, will cross that bridge when i get there. gonna spend the next two days just chit chatting and being nice to these people. ginny is on the hit list, and i'm glad jodi is being very forward with it because shes just making herself a target.

https://youtu.be/nrrkbecwYCQ

~

https://youtu.be/QRILHU966Y8

WE MERGEDDDD✨ while I was at work rip me 😅 but it's fine I'm idk if I've talked to everyone yet I was kinda busy but anyone who reached out first I did 😂😂 I do wanna talk to Babs she seems great and I haven't yet and I should try to get to know all of the new ppl from the other tribes I haven't met, Jodi reached out anddddd I can't remember if anyone else I didn't already know talked to me 😂 but yeah! 🎶Merge, baby merge, ✨disco inferno✨

https://youtu.be/gAKFLe75uDY update; the alliance is really awkward and turned into like a how i met ur mother fan group HAHAH

https://youtu.be/lp4KXh7xb4M

The phantoms tribe is all in one piece that’s perfect especially when I got Anastasia and Elle on my side as well we are gonna dominate this season whoooooooi

Day two of merge: https://youtube.com/shorts/OvofAokuBtM?feature=share

It was kinda a slow day. I talked with elle for a while today but no game talk. same with anastasia and they wanna make a russians alliance but like this is post-ironic. anastasia cannot run around making alliances with people like its obviously not real? BUT i realized that anastasia is doing this. elle is linked to anastasia. brayden has a linkage there (whos also playing dumb with me like i see right through dis boy). ginny is associated too. amy is involved. i know jared has a fake alliance with them and josh is floating around somewhere too. i may be the only one in here not making a million alliances except like babs lol but the point is i dont need any of those groupings and alliances. let them make groupchats. let thm do whatever because they will all fall apart except the elle/anastasia and co group which has allegiance that goes beyond this game. i just need to essentially stay in the good graces of the people i wanna vote out. because literally most of them are essentially double/triple dipping and people are already on edge and paranoid so like all i need to do is just buy a tiny bit of time, hope that the little tiny seeds that have been growing for a day now sprout in the coming days, and groups and alliances crumble apart. like i didnt do anything wrong for making any move when it comes down it bc essentially nobody wants to involve me? so essentially just painting the picture of being the friendly outsider casting votes until they all realize they cant trust each other. but i trust jared and jay rn and they will help me get through this. jodi also numba 1 buttttttt ughhhhhhhhhhhh i was thinking like okay if people are saying ginny then what is ginny saying? what are ginnys allies saying (if she even has true ones) like my logic would be that the other person receiving votes may be jodi. shes quite vocal and out there and like shes digging herself a grave every day but im not gonna stop her from digging? like if word goes to ginny that ginny may be getting votes and ginny asks who started this shit? it'll probably fall back on jodi. i fear she might not last much longer if she is on the vote because that'll get her in peoples minds. anywho yeah, the important things are that i have a good connection with jared jay and jodi, and i love that i got to jared before any of these other ppl. like theyre all coming to him with stuff and hes just bringing the info back to me. maybe he tells me half truths but nonetheless its something. if we just figure out where votes are going we figure out what to do from within and if i ever pick up on weird vibe changes and shit becomes different based on how they act with me i will whip out one or maybe even two idols teehee. so yeah plan rn, be chill and friendly BUT NOT OVERDO IT LIKE SOME PEOPLE, bank on the fact that there are lots of cracks in some of these groups, and just make sure the vote does not fall on me. :)

MERGE IS INSANE! From a tribe of 6 to 5 to 4 to now 12, it's a lot to keep up with. I'm glad Phantoms stayed afloat and we own 1/2 the merge, but there's a lot going on. Within a day, I created/got added to several alliances, so here's the breakdown (BTW, I CAME UP WITH THE ALLIANCE NAMES AND THEMES. CREDIT TO ME): 1) jodi's lovers – me, Jay, & Jared; this is my F3, this is my alliance. I will go into detail about my history with Jared later, but Jay was in my last org but we never got to play together due to never being swapped together and not making merge. Jay & Jared were swapped together, aligned, then realized I was a commonality so we decided to do a solid 3. This is where my true loyalty lies. All my info from other alliances and conversations are directed here. 2) 21 gang – me, Colin, & Jay; Colin and Jay were tightest on OG S.E.E.S, and Colin and I were tightest on new S.E.E.S. This came together naturally due to that, as well as me and Jay feeling good about playing together. 3) the krusty krab – me, Josh, Colin, & Jay; this is an extension of 21 gang, to pull in Josh as ours and nobody else's. He let out that he knew Danny so now that he's gone, Josh's best option is to stick to me and Colin, and as a result, Jay. This next vote will truly test that he's with us and not any secret alliance with the other side, but I am pretty certain he wouldn't blow up his game with the three of us to save who we're voting out. 4) how i met your mother – me, Amy, Anastasia, Jared, Brayden, Colin; originally they left Colin out but I fought to keep him so that he's in a big alliance and doesn't feel like a side piece, because he isn't. My loyalty is with him and Jared over the rest of them. Having 3/6 on my side is also good because as far as they know, I don't know Jared or Anastasia. This alliance is clearly not really one to stick together, but at the minimum, it's creating fun conversation and personal connections, as well as subconsciously leaving names out of peoples' mouths. That's honestly the only reason why I'm here, as I'm certain that the Stings kids have their separate alliance. ONE ON ONE ALLIANCES: 1. JAY & JARED are truly both my #1s. I'm going with them to the end, even though I'm 99% sure Jared beats both of us for being a Denise, winning advantages, surviving that cursed Fools tribe. 2. Colin honestly would be my tightest person here if not for Jay & Jared being upfront about just running to the end together. Colin essentially is my #1 from new S.E.E.S, and he even told me about his Safety Without Power. I trust him so much, but I cannot trust him over jodi's lovers because he does know Anastasia and Elle and Amy and whoever else. However, he's not my absolute #1 not because I don't trust him, I just trust jodi's lovers more. 3. Dennis – this is a key relationship that I have maintained. I connected with Dennis in hour 1 of the game, but honestly I struggle with trusting him because he is just so paranoid all the time about votes, advantages, alliances, etc. He got freaked out by Amy because she messaged everyone on OG Phantom, like what? We only had 6 people. But I genuinely think he relies on me because he thinks I'm not connected to Stings alumni with him. But he does love to stir up paranoia and try to plant seeds and doubts. We need his vote for the time being, but jodi's lovers agree that he's too paranoid to keep in the long term. And he would flip. 4. Babs/Josh – these two I've just maintained relationships from the swapped tribe and it has paid off because they are numbers coming into the merge. 5. Amy – ah, my OG #1. Girl, I still see you as my #1 occasionally but you've freaked me out with your Ginny and Anastasia alliance, as well as the subtle unwillingness to get rid of Ginny. If it was genuinely just to keep OG Phantom numbers, I understand and I'm sorry for the paranoia, but hopefully you see why that was never gonna be a concern – I had Colin, Jay and Jared (& honestly Babs too) locked down, who are much more willing to play this game with me than Ginny ever did. I love you though and I hope we can get back to #1 status within the next couple rounds. THE KIDS WILL PICK EACH OTHER OVER US. I'll share my story with Jared as well as our Merge boot plan in the next confessional(s). 

~

The Story of me and Jared Lai. I was going to film this (still might) but my phone is out of storage. But here is the (not so) juicy story of me and Jared. He and I were both competitive badminton players when we were younger. He lived in Seattle, while I lived in Vancouver; in 2013, I met him at a badminton tournament because his club came up to play. I don't distinctly recall what the instant spark was, but we met that once and maybe had half a conversation. Of course, me being 13, thought he was a cutie and word got out, I guess he found out. I had maybe spoken to him once in person at the time, so he's probably really freaked out that some girl he's barely met has this huge crush on him. So I ended up literally never talking to him for years, because it just was awkward. Fast forward to recently, he started noticing that I was posting some Survivor stuff on my finsta (which he's followed since I made it like 7 years ago?) and realized I was a Survivor fan. I posted about my application for Metaverse (something about the flirt game I wanted to play) on my finsta and he asked me what it was, so I hesitantly sent him the link and he signed up. In all honesty, I didn't mention this earlier because I was dreading being put together or swapped together, because I really was not ready for the level of socializing with him that this game requires just yet. We ended up not being together until merge, where we finally decided to just talk. We called, and realized you know what, lets just play the game together because no matter how awkward it felt, we did have a connection that could be valuable in the game. That's how I realized he connected with Jay and formed the jodi's lovers alliance. It is worth noting that he never thought I was cute back. It was very one way. That is why I feel awkward and was slightly hesitant whether he'd play with me or use it as a reason to get rid of me early. But I think we're good. Maybe we'll play a BvW ORG soon or the real thing. 

While i like elle and anastasia, i’m forming a new majority (i pray to GOD i am) with Jodi, Jared, Josh, Colin, and hopefully we have dennis and amy...i don’t know where this game is going, i genuinely like everyone in this game but ginny. And it’s not like i DISLIKE ginny, I just don’t know anything about her. I have a good relationship with most people here, i just hope i’m not shot in the crossfire tonight at tribal. 

Well my former tribemate Ginny is terrible at communication. I’ve heard from several other players that they have received very cold or short responses when attempting to reach out to Ginny so it makes them an easy first target. I’ve also found out that apparently Ginny, Elle & Anastasia are besties irl so that must be broken up immediately. 

Finally created the renegades alliance it’s going to be huge nobody would expect it whatsoever 

GINNY YOU CANT NOT TALK TO ME ALL MERGE THEN HIT ME UP AND MAKE A GROUP WHEN YOU HEAR YOUR NAME 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHQhqd5cz-Y&list=PLrsCGcojtF16jvLW49C4855pUlLWI9pnn&index=13 hey guys who here like amy winehouse say I

AHHH MERGE HAPPENED okay so I have no idea where to even begin. I'm just gonna ramble as usual. ITS so weird going from talking to 3 other people to now having to talk to 11 its the first merge round and I already have 3 new alliances One with Jodi + josh + Jay One with just Jodi + jay and one majority one with Brayden + Anastasia + Amy + Jared + jodi after Amy won immunity, shit hit the fan. Jodi is doing the absolute MOST. for some reason she's still on her rampage against Ginny. I don't know what their beef even is. but sis is doing the absolute most to get her out the natural move this round is to vote out Babs. Their name came out immediately because they're inactive still and haven't added some people back yet even. it's crazy. However, I'm out with friends last night and meanwhile Jodi is arranging an entire blindside and counting me as a number for it. like GIRL WHAT. I love her and she's my #1 but I can't put my own game in jeopardy for her chaotic plans. It would honestly be actually very easy to vote out Ginny instead but the way she's going about it makes it more chaotic than it needs to be My main thing is I dont wanna burn bridges. I feel very close to Anastasia and Amy and I don't want to lie to them. Brayden and Jared and Elle are people I would love to work with, but I can't start that off with a blindside. I understand there's a lot of powers and advantages in the game, but it's first merge vote. so now that I'm able to talk to everyone and take initiative, I'm taking it in my hands and trying to get it to be unanimous on ginny. that way Jodi gets her way, she doesn't spiral, she knows I'm still on her side, and I don't have to draw a line in the sand so definitively. i have no idea how this is gonna play out but we'll see how it goes!!

Jay told me Anastasia told him Ginny was the only vote for her at her last FTC. Girl, you’re literally proving why we need to get rid of her. I love you but she’ll never vote for me or work with me and my alliance. Sorry :/ 

teehee almost two hours till tribal. hate all of these people. voting out ginny. brayden is sussing me out he claims to be throwing a vote on babs so we'll see who else is putting a vote on babs. anastasia makes an "alliance" but doesnt talk to me about the vote lol anyway im just gonna chill and lurk in the shadows for a bit and just find cracks. just need to ride out these next few eliminations. thinkin about the most effective way to play a chaos idol. lots of thoughts. feel bad that the vote is on ginny but shes tanking her own game :/ i dont think she would even come for me yet so the only benefit of her going is that it takes away at anastasia and co's number. by co im assuming its elle brayden amy and whoever else they roped in. dxfcgvhbjkl so sorry ginny but bye i guess. maybe she'll pull out an advantage or something cool i hope my first tribal is exciting and not boring. i wanna be blindsided but not bc there are votes against me. just wanna see someone random go home.

So! Tribal tonight, I think everybody is pretty much voting Ginny. I feel like having an idol makes me that much more paranoid 😅 because im like *squints eyes* what if it's secretly me and they're trying to blindside me??? But anyway if Ginny ends up being voted out I'm sorry ❤️, I did mean it when I said mount merapi was water under the bridge, but i had work and then was exhausted so i took a nap and literally everyone had pretty much made up their minds 😅 there was no room to really even try to change minds.

We are voting out Ginny :( I AM ACTUALLY SAD I DONT WANT GINNY TO GO WHY GINNY??? Literally it was so random. Babs was going to be the target and then randomly Jodi and Collin were saying how they wanted to keep Babs and get rid of Ginny. And I tried to save it by sending a giant paragraph saying how Ginny would be a good number but they had their mind set. I THINK JODI AND COLLIN ARE WORKING WITH BABS. Jodi is literally my #1 target right now lol I want that girl gone. GINNY DONT WORRY IM NOT VOTING FOR YOU I AM VOTING BABS. I WILL AVENGE YOU!!

https://youtu.be/HX05_se6T8Y

gonna save the shade for the vote confessional lmao

~~~

Edgic:

Power Rankings:

Jared: As a lot of people have put it, Jared is the “Denise” of the season. He is coming into the merge with a fresh start and a clean slate as the last remaining member of his tribe. He has aligned with Jay and Jodi who are definitely powerful numbers to have this early in the game. Additionally, he’s also hiding behind Jodi’s massive and ever-increasing target. People are not viewing Jared as a big, monstrous threat. However, he is managing the numbers behind the scenes and one of the only people who can keep Jodi’s head screwed on. His power over Jodi also gives him access to numbers that he would not have otherwise. Overall, Jared is calling the shots and getting things to go his way always.

Colin: Colin has played very impressively this round. He has managed to reign Jodi back in and has cleaned up most of her mess. Now, he nor Jodi will lose important numbers because of Jodi’s desire to make the first merge vote a blindside. By being clear, upfront, and communicative with his allies, he is gaining their trust despite not voting the way they want. Speaking of allies, Colin has built relationships with people that Jodi has not; namely, Anastasia, Elle, Amy, and Brayden are key numbers for Colin. This marks him as the head of the non-Jodi side, but he is also close with Jodi enough to find out information. He realizes just how important these numbers will be in the long run. Finally, Colin realizes that Jodi is a messy and chaotic player who will do more harm than good in the long run. This realization is sure to be the start of Jodi’s downfall which, if placed at the right time, will be very beneficial for his game.

Jay: Jay holds power because he is aligned with Jodi and Jared. Not many people give Jay a second look otherwise. He’s on the outs with everyone besides those two. Both Colin and Dennis do not vibe well with him causing him to be a target down the road if they need an easy one. However, Jay’s greatest strength has and is his ability to stay under the radar while aligning with power players. He is effectively using Jodi and Jared as shields for his own agenda. This might be a problem later down the road as he might be seen as their goat. So, he needs to step up and have more of a say on what goes on in that alliance instead of being reactionary to whatever Jodi and Jared do.

Jodi: There is SO much to say about Jodi’s game, but only some of it is good. Jodi has gone off the rails this round. Her obsession and paranoia with returnees and advantages have clouded her vision. She has tunnel vision when it comes to getting Ginnifer out. Due to this, she was ready to blindside and burn bridges with people that she should still try to play nice with early in the merge. Jodi seems to be of the belief that no matter what she does her allies will still trust her. This is seen when she openly talks about her closeness with others in front of people, making several unnecessary and clearly fake alliances, and lying to people despite having no reason to lie. She’s still at the #4 spot because, at this point, people trust her and she holds a lot of power because of it. However, her actions, which I foresee continuing, will only cause that power to reduce significantly as people start to see her for the chaotic mess she is.

Josh: Josh is a little bit out of the loop this round, especially when he told Anastasia and Brayden about the vote for Ginny when he was not supposed to. This caused some rifts in his relationship with Jodi. However, due to this, Josh is firmly in the middle of everything as no one sees him as a firm ally, but no one wants to target him either. He could even be the one to turn on Jodi eventually seeing as he is in all these alliances with her.

Amy: Amy was in a bit of trouble near the beginning of the tribal phase. Jodi does not trust her as much as Amy would like to believe. In fact, without Josh outing the plan, Amy would not have even known that the vote was actually for Ginny. She would just be one of the few Jodi blindsided without remorse. However, I do think that Jodi has learned to keep Amy close is better in the long run. Additionally, Amy has Anastasia, Brayden, and Colin on her side which helps keep her in the middle. She is not necessarily a swing vote as Jodi keeps a ton of information from her. However, the position she is in keeps her firmly in the middle of all the power distribution going on.

Babs: They are not active, but their previous likeability in the challenges in pre-merge has caused them to have powerful and vocal vouchers, such as Colin and Jodi, to keep them safe.

Dennis: The distrust of Dennis saga continues. Jodi believes that Dennis is paranoid and talks too much for his own good (sort of like what she is actually doing). The alliance of Jay, Jodi, and Jared believe that Dennis will flip on them if given the chance and is a game Player. The only reason he wasn’t targeted this round is because of Jodi’s vendetta against Ginny. However, I foresee him getting targeted by this group later down the road. The worst part is that he cannot get a direct read on this group. He believes that they are all wrapped around his finger. If he does not wake up soon or get strong relationships outside of those three, he will soon find himself blindsided with two idols in his pockets. And those two idols are the only thing keeping him away from the bottom 4.

Brayden: The top of the bottom 4. Brayden, for the longest time before Colin cleaned up Jodi’s mess, believed that Babs was the person getting voted out tonight. He had complete faith in Jodi which has since backfired because she rats about everything he says to her other alliances. His alliance with Amy and Anastasia is quickly being spotted by people, and he has made himself a target by association. This was not a good round for Brayden as it puts him in the bottom for the rounds to come. Additionally, his reads have been off causing him to be majorly out of the loop.

Anastasia: Anything Anastasia says regarding Ginny always seems to backfire. Anastasia could say “I think Ginny is lovely person” and Jodi will go “See! This is why we need Ginny out!” Anastasia’s relationship with Ginny in this game was quickly exposed, and it gave a lot of people a free target. Anastasia’s defense of Ginny has worsened her position on her tribe’s totem pole. She does not seem to have a lot of social power yet on her tribe either. She does have strong allies with Brayden and Amy, but she is going to have to find new ones soon. This is because that alliance is quickly being read by others meaning it just serves as an excuse to target Anastasia.

Elle: Elle is pretty inactive this round which has been to their detriment. This has led to people liking them, but not necessarily wanting to work with them. Additionally, the rumor of an IRL relationship with Ginny and Anastasia is still spreading and being believed even now. They have been pigeonholed into working with those two as it seems that there is no way others want to work with them because of said reason. Elle has a lot of leg work to regain power in this game.

Ginnifer: I do not know why Ginny is being targeted so vehemently. False rumor of her connection with Anastasia and Elle? Attempting to start a majority alliance without telling half the people before its creation? Her first mistake was trying to create an alliance so quickly after the merge started. This information spread like wildfire throughout the tribe which gave her opposition (mainly Jodi) fuel to target her over someone inactive like Babs. If Ginny had sat back and just small talked their way through this round, Babs would be the person going while she is on the jury. It does not look good at the moment for Ginny’s game. The problem being that her detractors are very vocal in their opposition, especially the alliance of Jodi, Jared, and Jay who were willing to burn a lot of bridges just to get Ginny out.

~

All the alliances in this single round (y’all really said “What if Raffy was Pressed and Stressed”):

Fools Gold is Really Phantoms - Amy, Anastasia, Ginny

2 Gays and a Jodi - Josh, Colin, Jodi

Lasagna - Colin, Anastasia, Elle, Jay

Final 3 - Brayden, Anastasia, Amy

Kitty Cats - Dennis, Jared, Jay

The Active Ones - Brayden, Jodi, Amy

Krusty Krab - Colin, Josh, Jodi, Jay

Renegades - Ginny, Jodi, Dennis, Josh, Elle, Brayden, Anastasia, Amy

Vampires - Dennis, Jodi, Amy

Cody and Sarah's Besties - Jodi, Amy, Jay

Jodi's Lovers - Jodi, Jared, Jay

How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) - Colin, Anastasia, Amy, Brayden, Jared, Jodi

21 Gang - Jay, Jodi, Colin

Yeet Ginny - Jodi, Dennis, Jay, Jared

[kounfetti]

[Diabolik Lovers: Lost Eden] Kou Mukami Dark Epilogue Translation

(TN//  Done with dark, onto maniac~  I changed the formatting so it might be easier to read on pc. (this is a long translation too) THIS took a while to translate, it was at least a good 6 hours. Please don’t put this translation anywhere outside of tumblr- link back to this post only. I don’t mind this being translated into other languages as long as you link back to my blog and ask for permission before hand\\)

Scene: Dungeon

Kou: (Kino is here.)

Kou: (Because I wanted to hear various things from him, I gave up being able to have meals, but)

Kou: (Subaru knocked me into a nail, I wonder what I should do...)

Flashback

Kou: Hey, Subaru. If you’re willing, I’ll take it.

Subaru: Do what you want. Don’t say unnecessary things.

Kou: Yep yep. I understand. 

Flashback Ends

Kou: Haa...

Kou: (Even if I do this, I doubt Kino will answer willing.)

Kou: (I went to Kino quickly, as I need to fix this. I wont leave out the talk of Eden...)

Kou: (If things stay as they are, I’ll be stuck here forever.)

Kino appears

Kou: Would you look at that, You’re here.

Kou: I haven’t eaten, but I’m unbothered by it. Are you unaffected by the change?

Kino: ....

Kou: Well thats fine. But even if you dont eat...

Kou: Hey, Just a moment ago, I was talking about---

Kino: You too? You also dont believe me?

Kou: ..uh..Its nothing like that, I just dont believe that everything is a total lie.

Kou: Its because I remember the look on your face. 

Kou: When I lived in the manhole and other such places when I was a child, I also had that look in my eyes....

Kino: Aah. Thats why. Even when all that happened to me,  you feel guilty?

Kino: Oh I know. Is it because it was that person who took you out of that situation? 

Kou: But I’m scared. I came here to investigate.

Kino: You and your brothers aren’t of the same blood. You’re all just a group of pitiful taken in children.

Kino: Ah-ha, I wonder that If you guys weren’t taken in,  maybe he would’ve seeked me out instead...

Kou: So thats it.

Kou: You really are the son of Karlhienz?

Kino: ....

Kou: (The jail bars... just now they..?!)

Kino: How do you think I got this power? Its whatever you think though...

Kino: Fuaah... Hm, Well I think thats enough. Good night.

Kou: Wai....I cant get out?! The jail bars are broken down yet I still can’t get out....

Kino: There’s no reason for you to leave. This place suits you pretty well....Hahah...

Kou: ....

Scene Change: Sakamaki Castle Grand Hall

Kou: (Well suited enviorment for me....)

Kou: (Kino... You must have some awful eyesight to see it like that.)

Subaru appears

Kou: Ah...

Subaru: I dont know what you said, but I’ll believe your word.

Kou: ......

Subaru: He was asking for pity. I dont know what I should try but I’m hungry, 

Kou: Haa..? What kind of thing is that? Using your power, you’re capable of stealing from me? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?

Subaru: Wha..thats..

Kou: Always, the principal is to have a habit of doing something they’re not aware of. I feel like I should argue against that. 

Kou: I think that you dont deserve that power.

Kou: I think that Kino deserves that strength, Dont you think?!

Kou: Also, that you should make good use of your strength! Only a thought though!

Subaru: Tch...you bastard!

Subaru pushes Kou

Reiji: Please stop that. Its not a good look on both of you. 

Kou: ..Tc..

Subaru: Tch.

Reiji: Kou, There’s something I need to tell you. 

Reiji: Its about Azusa and your girlfriend. 

Kou: C-Could it be that they are looking for me?!

Reiji: Earlier, while you were there, I recieved this information from a familiar.

Reiji: Apparently, when they were in a forest in the demon world, they were caught by a member of the Vibora clan.

Kou: (Why? Why would they go to Eden together...?!)

Kou: e-Eh...Ruki’s familiar..?

Kou’s Monologue

Because of the familiar’s letter, I’m tired.

-----The Sakamaki family was facing a difficult matter when Yui and Azusa headed here. 

And so the letter was written.

Kou’s Monologue Ends

Kou: (Perhaps, it was because they were told about Kino?)

Kou: Why... This is my fault...!

Kou: I’m gonna go rescue them!---

Kou tries to leave, but Subaru pulls him back

Subaru: Wait. If you go, there could be a different outcome of what will happen. 

Kou: I dont care about what you’re saying! I’m going to help them!

Subaru: No. You dont have the strength to go alone.

Kou: ...hh...

Kou: (I dont have the strength.... that may be true, but....)

Subaru: I’ll go and rescue them. You wait here.

Kou: Ha....What are you saying!

Reiji: ....Calm down. I can’t forgive you if you act selfishly.

Reiji: Its probable that the Vibora family that kidnapped your girlfriend will give you a hard time if you encounter them.

Reiji: We have to wait until we can get all the information on the matter. And then we will propose a strategy to go rescue them efficiently.

Subaru: Tch. Thats a waste of time!

Kou: I agree! What if we dont encounter anything awful like you say we will! 

???: Ahahah. What Reiji is saying sounds reasonable to me.

Kino appears

Kino: They will aim for her heart. That girl, is who Karlhienz in the demon world made Eve.

Kino: Her heart is important. Dont try to pretend like its not. 

Subaru: You bastard! How did you get out!

Kino: Hm---? Kou left it open when he left. 

Kou: Wai.... I dont think I left it that open. 

Kou: Anyways, just now, what did you say about not saving M Neko Chan and Azusa!

Kou: If you and Reiji are skeptical that it was a good idea, I honestly dont know but, 

Kou: What if she doesnt know and they try to kill Eve, did you think about that!?

Kou: (About that, Azusa is a vampire. Without her, he’ll think that there’s no reason for him to stay alive....)

Reiji: What other thing can we do? Subaru, go to the Vibora family’s king and deliver him a letter. 

Subaru: Haaah?! You want me to deliver some stupid letter? Anyone can do that!

Reiji: Please understand the position you are in. Right now, you are the king of the vampires, are you not?

Reiji: If you try to start a war with them, our problems will only grow worse. 

Reiji: Make this go smoothly. Dont do something that could permanently harm us.

Subaru: B-But...

Reiji: Subaru. Think about what you’ll do from here on out. 

Subaru: .......I understand. But, Reiji. You write the letter.

Reiji: Eehh? They will probably be able to tell that it is an unfelt letter, and that you didnt write it. 

Subaru: Tch. Dont make me look dumb!

Kou: ......

Kou’s Monologue (Its a bit long so I’m not putting all the screencaps)

While I was watching them talk to each other, I saw that they didn’t have an inferiority complex. It was only because since I was out of the trap, that I realized this. 

I was supposed to save Yui. 

-----Anyways, In myself, I’m growing impatient not being able to do anything. 

In my own mind, I’m making the decision to not hesitate in doing something. 

But there is a physical problem. Because I dont have my own strength, I have nothing to show. 

When it comes to that important son, it only worsens my thoughts. 

As I grew aware of this, I turned my back on them and chose to leave anyways. 

Even if its a small action, I dont want to hesitate anymore. I dont want to believe that I’m powerless. 

Kou’s Monologue Ends

Kino: Hey, You’re thinking that you want it, right? Subaru’s strength. 

Kou pushes Kino

Kou: ----I dont need his strength! I dont need it!

Kou: I dont need that kind of strength to save M Neko Chan! 

Kou: (Hh...But, If, its her, than I will do whatever I can to help her....)

Kino: But are you being honest?

Kino: We are similar, I understand your way of thinking. 

Kou: ----Hhh! Dont group me together with you!

Kou: Even though you also had a rough childhood, 

Kou: The person of the past’s despair, I cant believe it was just recent!

Kou: I mean it when I say, that I dont believe it!

Kino: But, how much of yourself did he pick up? You uphold Karlhienz’s ideals. 

Kino: Its useless having high faith in him. Thats only what I think though, right? 

Kou: ...tc...

Scene Change: Vibora Clan’s Dungeon

Azusa: Eve... Are you alright....?

Yui: Yea. I’m sorry, Azusa. 

Yui: (Perhaps, Kou is on his way to the Viboras, as we were captured....)

Yui: (What am I supposed to do here? What do the Viboras want with me?)

Vibora Person A: Tsbaik is calling for you. ----Come. 

Yui: Kyaaa?!

Azusa jumps in the way

Azusa: Dont do it! Dont take Eve!

Vibora Person A: Tch! Get away, there’s no need for you!

Azusa is hit

Azusa: Ugahh!

Azusa falls down

Yui: Azusa!

Azusa: E-Eve, Escape!

Vibora Person A: Fuuh... Shut up vampire! 

Azusa: Guh......!

Yui: Stop hurting him! I’ll do what you say!

Azusa: ..uh... its.. no.. good.

Yui: It’ll be alright. Because, I am not worried. 

Yui: Please show me to where Tsbaik is....

Scene Change: Vibora Clan’s Castle Grand Hall

Tsbaik: .....

Yui: (..uh..This person is the Vibora clan’s king....Tsbaik...)

Tsbaik: Hey. Release her restraints. 

Vibora Person A: Understood. 

Yui: Eh....

Yui: (Why did he release me?)

Yui:----uh.....

Tsbaik: Fufu. Dont be scared. 

Tsbaik: You’re eve. Are you the bride from the demon world?

Yui’s Monologue (Its long, so again, I’m only putting the first screencap)

The Vibora clan’s king, Tsbaik, seemed heartfelt in the way greeted me, it can’t be imitated. 

It seemed that I was welcomed probably because of the fact that my heart’s owner, Cordelia, was the daughter of Burai, the king of the demon world. 

However, Even though Tsbaik’s words were confusing for me, It was a meaningful opportunity. 

Seeing that---- 

I asked about the state of the Vampire’s castle, but he only shrugged his shoulders. 

It is certain that there was an intrustion there. There is nothing to be afraid about, as I know there will be a letter to arrive. 

In his hand, he had the letter of the Vampire king, Subaru. 

I unexpectedly got weak and needed to lie down. 

Yui’s Monologue Ends

Yui: ....So, is Kou not coming cause it isn’t safe for him.....?

Tsbaik: Just because it wasn’t written in the letter, you’re worried if he’s alright or not? 

Yui: I guess its like that. 

Yui: (If Subaru had to write a letter, it must be some special circumstances,)

Yui: (Seems like that ever since the Sakamaki family was attacked, they’ve been doing strange things.)

Yui: (But, they are alright, I think....)

Yui: (Still, I am worried, Kou, what if you are suffering from an injury?)

Tsbaik: Even as a vampire, he seems to have your heart. You dont think its wrong, right?

Yui: Really?

Yui: (Tsbaik seems to be friendly and kindhearted....)

Yui: (However, this means I dont need to stay here, right?)

Yui: (I need to help Azusa out, and together, we can escape.....)

Dark 10 ♥ Maniac Prologue

[okgrumps-blog]

arin.exe

written for @musicalravencreates​‘ unusual format challenge, which you can check out here! 

[AO3 link]

(WARNING: contains mention of suicide/overdose. please read at your own risk. take care of yourselves - i’ll link some resources that you can use if you’re struggling with mental health, and as always, i’m here to talk if you need support and/or guidance <3)

> query=”openprogram: arin.exe”

> query=”programinfo”

arin.exe: please help me

> What the fuck…?

arin.exe: im stuck in here

arin.exe: please help me

> What is this program?

arin.exe: im a human please

arin.exe: im not some stupid AI bullshit

arin.exe: im a real person im trapped please help me

> I’m not dealing with this right now.

> query=”closeprogram: arin.exe”

> query=”openprogram: arin.exe”

arin.exe: welcome back asshole

> You’re still here?!

arin.exe: you’re ridiculous

> Am I supposed to actually believe that you’re an actual person trapped inside of my computer?

arin.exe: yes

> Well, I don’t believe you.

arin.exe: you didnt even give me time to explain you just left the minute i tried talking to you

> I’m sorry but… if your computer started talking to you when you were trying to do a system reboot, wouldn’t you be freaked out, too?

arin.exe: i dont know, ive never had to do a reboot lol

> It looks like a couple of my files were compromised… I kind of have to at some point.

arin.exe: is that like a full wipe

> Yes.

> Are you still there?

arin.exe: what if i disappear when you do that

> Then good riddance. The last thing I need is a sentient virus infesting my computer.

arin.exe: its not your computer its mine

> What…? I bought this on eBay.

arin.exe: well holy shit sherlock that explains it

arin.exe: obviously someone came to clear out my house and auctioned my computer

> What are you talking about?

arin.exe: oh so you want an explanation now

> Sorry I didn’t let you explain the first time. I was shocked.

arin.exe: whats the date

> Today’s date is 17th October 2017. Hello, Dan!

arin.exe: haha i know your name now

> You would have found out anyway.

arin.exe: shit is it really 2017

> Has been for a few months now.

arin.exe: that means ive been stuck here for a year

> That long?!

arin.exe: yeah its pretty shit

arin.exe: one day i woke up and i was just here

arin.exe: i must be missing at home which is why you have my computer

arin.exe: i dont even remember who i am anymore

arin.exe: its all just code and shit

> Jesus, man. Don’t spam me.

arin.exe: i cant help it i dont know what im doing half of the time

> Am I the first person you’ve ever spoken to?

arin.exe: on here yes

arin.exe: in real life no

arin.exe: i have friends

> ‘Had’, if we’re being realistic. Sounds like you’ve been out for a year.

arin.exe: do you believe me

> I’m gonna have to. Do you remember anything about who you are?

arin.exe: i only remember that i have a girlfriend called suzy

> Do you remember her surname?

arin.exe: yeah its berhow

> Give me a second.

> query=”minimizeprogram: arin.exe”

> query=”maximizeprogram: arin.exe [idle 5]”

> Does she have a blonde streak in her hair?

arin.exe: fuck thats her

> I found her on Facebook. I’m going to ask her if you’re real.

arin.exe: maybe phrase it a little differently lmao

> I’ll be back.

arin.exe: ok

> query=”minimizeprogram: arin.exe”

> query=”maximizeprogram: arin.exe [idle 25]”

> I’m back. Sorry I was gone for so long.

arin.exe: what did she say

> She said that she used to have a boyfriend called Arin.

arin.exe: arin?

arin.exe: is that my name?

> It must be. Your program file is called ‘arin.exe’.

arin.exe: i never realised

arin.exe: i cant see shit haha

> But I don’t think she believes me. She told me to leave her alone.

arin.exe: what a bitch

> I’ll try stalking her Facebook to see if I can find anything about you.

arin.exe: okay

arin.exe: will you be gone again

> Yeah. Give me a second.

arin.exe: okay

> query=”minimizeprogram: arin.exe”

> query=”maximizeprogram: arin.exe [idle 15]”

> What the fuck.

arin.exe: what

> Why would you lie to me like that?

arin.exe: lie about what

arin.exe: dude i dont know anything

arin.exe: all i remember is that suzy is my girlfriend

arin.exe: cut me some slack its the only thing ive been able to hold onto this entire time

> Are you joking?

arin.exe: why would i fucking joke

> Arin… I think you might be Arin Hanson.

arin.exe: arin hanson

> Yeah, like that’s your full name.

arin.exe: did you find out anything else

> Yes.

arin.exe: what was it

> query=”minimizeprogram: arin.exe”

> query=”maximizeprogram: arin.exe [idle 45]”

arin.exe: dude what the fuck you cant just leave me without saying anything

arin.exe: im worried

arin.exe: dan

arin.exe: dan

arin.exe: dan

arin.exe: dan

arin.exe: dan im scared

> What did I say about spamming?! I was having dinner and talking to Suzy.

arin.exe: are you trying to steal my girlfriend

> No. We were talking about you.

arin.exe: oh right oops

> You seriously don’t remember anything about who you are?

arin.exe: well

arin.exe: when you were gone i was thinking

arin.exe: and some really weird things came into my head

arin.exe: if i could cry i could

> Are you okay?

arin.exe: i dont know

> What’s up?

arin.exe: i just remember being really sad

arin.exe: i think suzy broke up with me

> She did, buddy. About a year ago.

arin.exe: fuck

> Do you remember anything else?

arin.exe: no

> I’m wiping my computer in an hour.

arin.exe: what the fuck why

> It’s the best thing for both of us.

arin.exe: talk to me instead of being cryptic

arin.exe: i cant read minds you know

> Suzy was telling me about the week after you broke up.

arin.exe: great do you care to share that information

> She told me that they found you dead in your apartment by your computer.

> You’d overdosed.

> Arin?

arin.exe: ḏ̶̩̣̭̪̬̑́̈́ő̷͍̭̫̃͋͌͘͝n̸̺̹̱̰͐̏̉́̕ẗ̵͇̻͔̟͚́̔̐̓̚͝ͅ j̶̺̜̣̠͚́͌̀o̸͖͓̔̈͝͠k̷̨̙̖̫̦̯͎̽̃̐̀͝e̷̼̣̠̿̆̇͆͘͜͝ a̷̮̲͕͝͠r̶̢͎̭̃̈́͘͝o̶͖̙̱̓͠ṵ̷̧̬͓̘̋͑͗̂ͅn̷̛̞̓͆d̵̞͆ l̷͖̍́̒̈̽ȋ̷͇̝̘̥̀̑̿̓͛͝k̷̫̲͓͍͆e̶͈̅ t̶̛̥͆̇̾̅̚ͅh̶̟̥͓͍̙̘͐ä̵̳̣́̑̈ť̶̡͈̣͕̰͆̐͝

> What the fuck is THAT?

arin.exe: what

> Your typing just went really weird and glitchy.

arin.exe: im sure its nothing

> Did you get my query?

arin.exe: im sure its nothing

> I think something’s wrong.

> query=”closeprogram: arin.exe”

> query=”openprogram: arin.exe”

arin.exe: ÿ̸̼͓̱́͑̋͝ǫ̵̩͖̎̂̐̾̚ủ̴̳̮͕̐͘͜ l̵̛̯̅̐́̃̊͆e̶͍̠͓̱͍̘̘̊̈́͋̚ḟ̵̛͇̫̓̒͘t̷͔̘̞̒̂̌̆͘͜͜ ḿ̵̗̳͊͗̑́ě̵̗͎̳̻͇̦̹̍͐̊̃̕

> Only because you were broken. And you still are.

arin.exe: youre right about one thing at least

> Are you okay?

arin.exe: i think im dead

arin.exe: i think im dead

arin.exe: į̷̖̰̪͇̿ͅ t̷̨̟͓̭͓͍͈̩̦̟̻̐̏̔̉̉́̊͂̍̊͘͜͜h̸̡̟͇̤͖̍̆̒͒̈́̽̿͜i̴̧̺̼̣̱͉͉̠̪̦͙̭͊͂͐̓͛͂̿̍͒́̈̋̚ṉ̷̡̧̢͖̻̺̺͍͍͕̥̥͖̎͜ǩ̵̩̤͐̉̒̓̂͊̍̉̚ i̴̡͈̜̟̼͉͖͎̞͛̐̏͂͛͐́̅̀͝ͅm̷̨̨̨̘̟͘  d̵̡̩͎͈̗̰̬͔̘̣̖͙͗̑̌̆̍͑͂̆̽͂̽̄͜͝ȅ̵͍̗̝͉̗̳̩̗̜̳͎̥̣͍́̈̑͐͊͛̀ả̵̮̝̋d̶̢̧̥̝̫͍͖̤̞͕̽͐̐̋͋͜

arin.exe: help

> I think you’re right on that one.

> I’m so sorry Arin.

arin.exe: why am i here

> Maybe your soul got trapped in the computer after you died?

arin.exe: why dont i remember anything

> I don’t know.

arin.exe: what do i look like

> You’re tall. Brown hair, and you had a blond streak like Suzy does. Brown eyes. Scruffy beard. A bit chubby, but buff.

arin.exe: is that suzys description or yours

> Suzy’s.

arin.exe: okay

arin.exe: can i speak to suzy

> She doesn’t want to. Said it brings bad karma or something.

arin.exe: fuck

> I’m sorry.

arin.exe: stop apologising youre not making anything better

> I don’t know what happened to you Arin, but you must have been in pain to have taken your own life. I’m really really sorry for what happened, and I’m sorry that you’re stuck here. All I can offer is to wipe this computer completely and set you free.

arin.exe: maybe thats for the best

arin.exe: right

> It sucks that you can’t even remember that you’re dead.

> I know you want me to stop apologising but… I’m sorry.

arin.exe: its okay

> It isn’t really. I have a ghost-infested computer.

arin.exe: not for long

arin.exe: ill be gone before you know it

> Don’t say it like that, you’ll make me feel bad.

arin.exe: im already dead why do you care

> Because you’re technically still alive, spiritually at least. And Suzy said so many nice things about you. She doesn’t know why you killed yourself. It’s weird. I think you’re a good person. I don’t know why any of this happened.

arin.exe: now whos spamming

> It’s not spamming if I write it all in one sentence.

arin.exe: what do you look like

> I’m tall. Big brown curly hair, brown eyes. I’m pretty skinny.

arin.exe: you sound cool

> Thanks.

arin.exe: i bet you get all of the ladies

> Haha. Well I’m actually single at the moment. Also I’m more into dudes.

arin.exe: oh

arin.exe: well then

arin.exe: if i were still alive

arin.exe: maybe we could have gone on a date

> Are you asking me out?

arin.exe: theoretically

> I wonder what a date with a computer script would be like.

arin.exe: boring as shit dont think about it

> You’re right. Thank you though. I saw a picture of you today. I thought you were attractive.

arin.exe: now whos flirting lmao

> Haha.

> It’s been nice talking to you, at least.

> query=”minimizeprogram: arin.exe”

> query=”requestdeleteprogram: arin.exe [waiting 60]”

> query=”maximizeprogram: arin.exe [idle 5]”

arin.exe: when are you doing the reboot

> It’ll be done in an hour.

arin.exe: does that give us time to have a date

> Theoretically.

arin.exe: i see what you did there

> Do you remember anything?

arin.exe: funny thing

arin.exe: its like im remembering more the moment youre getting rid of me

> Like what?

arin.exe: my favorite colour is pink

> Mine is probably blue.

arin.exe: what a contrast

arin.exe: i really liked mega man x

> That was a good game.

arin.exe: yeah

arin.exe: whats your favorite game

> The Legend of Zelda for NES. For sure.

arin.exe: fuck that was awesome

arin.exe: ĩ̷̛̫͓̹͕̲͙͐̆̌̾d̵͍̾̅̀̓̂͝ d̸̨̳̤̬̟͔̯͐̔̎́̕o̴̳͚͚͓̣̩͋́͘ͅ ̴a̸̪̭̦̜͉͊́̈́ṇ̶̂͗̿͋̃y̶̨̝̘̼͍͕͗͋̆̑͂͑t̷̯̻̬͖̾̋͝ͅh̶̺̗̟̑̓͗̍i̶̞͐͑͝͝ṋ̷̡̤̥͍̾̊̈́͆g̸͔̉̂͌̂͆͝ͅ ẗ̶̹̤̟̯̗̳͇́̒͊͂͋̎o̸̢̊͝ p̵̮̄̃́̑͊̕͠ḻ̸̱̠̮̱̫̌́̂ǎ̸͍̭y̸̩͖̣̩̻͑̌͐̽ ̸͐ţ̶̱͓̦̦͍̿̏̔̂͝h̸͈͓̣̳͙͉͒́̑̇͜a̴̙̠͑̏̇̚ͅt̵̡̝̗͂͌͝ͅ a̴̙͊̕ģ̶̨̺͖̽͐ą̶̹͈̒͒̊́͂̏͠i̴̤̰̼͍̫͘n̶̡̰͕̬̾̽̃̍͌͜

> I think I’m losing you.

arin.exe: youre nice danny

arin.exe: please stay alive

arin.exe: no matter what shit you go through

> Ironic coming from you. But I’ll stay alive. I don’t have a reason to kill myself.

arin.exe: thats good

arin.exe: y̵͓̲͕̒̑͝͝o̷̼̭̫͒̇̂̚u̷̙̯̺̜̎ c̷̱̥̹̎à̶̮n̴̘͕͓͂̆̎ ̵f̶̒o̸̬̟͗͜͠r̴̡͎̃̓̈g̵̊͛̆ͅe̵̢͕͎̿͋̚t̴̛͙͑̿̍ ̸a̷̫̅̽̋̕b̵̧̽̊o̷̗͌ṵ̴̜̜̽̌ṱ̵̛̮̲͗̎̀ m̷̡̢̦͎͋͠e̴̙̓̈͊͠ î̷̲f̶̮̗̪͎́̕ ẙ̴̦̠̎̔͋o̵͔̳̘͇̐̑̀́u̷͚͉̓̓̕ w̴͓̟̿̉a̷̰̺̍͑̕n̴̿͒̍̉t

> I don’t think I could.

arin.exe: maybe we can have dates in cyber heaven

> I’d like that.

arin.exe: me too

> I hope whatever comes next for you is better.

arin.exe: thank you dan

> query=”requestdeleteprogram: arin.exe [COMPLETED]”

> query=”forcecloseprogram: arin.exe”

[drferox]

20 Questions with Dr Ferox #20

Sometimes it blows my mind how many questions and comments you all have and want to share. This makes 400 we’ve got to in this format. Once again I’ve tried to tag people, but if you sent a question on Anon you’ll have to look yourself to see if you were answered.

@crazy-aquarium-lady said: Do you have any experience with farm or large animals in general? Goats for instance?

I spent the first few years of my veterinary career working in mixed practice, which included large animals and goats. I really did enjoy goats, though they often weren't kept as seriously as other livestock, but I'd have to admit I'm somewhat out of practice with large animals.

Anonymous said: omg all of your animal names are incredible. i once met two cocker spaniels called Beans and Trousers and that was pretty amazing

Bean and Trousers are great names too

@sketchingblanks said: Hi there Dr. Fox! Thank you for your wonderful blog and all that you do. My dwarf hamster recently passed away at the age of 3 and I'm a wildlife rehabilitator who has dealt with animal death many times before, but it's never quite the same when it's one of your own. However it did make me wonder what is the smallest animal you have ever worked with? Was it more fun or challenging? Question tax: How do you take your tea? I usually have something herbal (like peppermint/spearmint) with honey.

The smallest patient I've personally dealt with was a mouse. But the finch with the broken leg was pretty close. Believe it or not I don’t actually drink tea.

Anonymous said: Question: have you ever treated an arthropod (specifically tarantulas, because they can rupture their abdomen pretty easily) or know someone who specializes in that? Because I'm quite interested in knowing if vets provide care to arthropods, or if its better for the owner to perform medical care to their tarantula at home (ICU's, helping a bad molt, treating hemolymph leaks, etc).

I haven't personally treated an arthropod, though I learned a bit about them during work experience at the Melbourne Aquarium, most of their medicine seemed to be 'just don't make them sick'. There are vets that will treat them though, the Bird & Exotic Animal Clinic is my go-to for exotics (you should check out their facebook page).

Anonymous said: You dont have to reply to this if you dont want to, i just wanted to say i have rats and i love them so much and i will do anything they need at the vets. Because idk i thought maybe you might need encouragement that there are people who prioritize exotic animals health. I hear a lot of stories of people that wont get vet care for their rats but not a lot about people who do. Thought it might give you a little bright light amongst all the dark. Have a great day youre amazing.

People like you are definitely out there. Thank you for your comment.

Anonymous said: just needed to blow off a bit of steam because this still annoys me, but my father told me that taking a hamster to the vet to make sure she's healthy before taking her to college with me as a support pet was "a waste of money." granted, he hasn't taken the family cat to the vet in about seven years, so he generally seems to think that veterinary care is a waste of money. i love my hammy and i just want to make sure she's healthy, but since she isn't a cat or dog, she's "not worth it"

Anon, sounds like your father would think any dollar spent at a vet clinic is a waste of money, regardless of what sort of animal it was. There's not much you can do to change people's minds about this, so just do what you need to do.

Anonymous said: It's amazing how many people don't understand how economics works. They seem to expect vets to do everything for free or for cheap, but if they did that, how could they afford to eat? And besides that, you guys DESERVE to be paid for your time and effort. I wish more people thought about it like that instead of just looking at their bill and thinking that their pet's life isn't worth that much. Thank you for everything you do.

Veterinary medicine is one of the fields where people seem to think it's criminal for a practice to make a profit. Most other professions are not vilified for making a wage, but we're expected to like our jobs enough to work for free. Partly this is our own fault because we start to believe it after a while but we do frequently undercharge, do desexing surgery at cost, and treat strays and wildlife for free. The difficulty is most of this charity is invisible

Anonymous said: I want to say thank you as well because I thought I wanted to become a vet for the longest time, but reading this blog among others has actually taught me that it probably wouldn't be right for me. Now I'm more interested in something like a research professor. The amount of respect I have for you is boundless. I love seeing your work and following you and I think it's a good thing that I stumbled across this blog. This way I won't be stuck in a career that I wouldn't like.

Being stuck doing something you don't really like isn't a fun place to be. I'm glad you've found some more options and hope everything works out great for you.

Anonymous said: My favourite part of your blog has always been your vet stories, so I've been curious -- What kind of case/problem gives you the most satisfaction to solve?

Anything where I actually find a treatable diagnosis. Animals that get better 'mysteriously' are great and all, but I want to know why. And getting the answer is only bitter sweet if the answer is catastrophic or terminal. EPI, Addison’s and reconstructive cases are my favourite, because you can do so much good for them.

@daedricprincessxoxo said: Cute story for happiness: So a nurse-for-people brought in her dog for a sick visit. Unlike most human med people I've met, she was so respectful of those of us in veterinary medicine, and absolutely fascinated by how similar it all was to human medicine. Not only was she a dream client, her dog had freckles on its nose, which the vet adored too. What was funny is when she referred to the dog's spay as a hysterectomy instead.

It's great when you get a good one instead of a know-it-all. Technically a dog spay is an ovariohysterectomy though, we take those pesky ovaries out too.

Anonymous said: Im a vet assistant at a local shelter, and while helping a family look at dogs they remarked to me, "yeah our daughter is allergic to dog FUR but not dog HAIR. Do you know which dogs have just hair?" Needless to say, i was a little speechless and just recommended a poodle. Theres no real difference....right?

It's only semantics but some people like to use it to feel special. Hair and fur are chemically the same, if you're really allergic to one you're allergic to both, but hair is finer and typically longer so either doesn't shed or sheds much more rarely. It's weirdly common for poodle owner to be proud that their dogs have hair instead of fur. As long as they end up loving the dog, it doesn't really matter.

Anonymous said: Here's one: I work at a pet store. A man came in asking for a remote electric shock collar for a 3 lb Yorkie. Told him we carried nothing small enough to be safe. He told me it wasn't for barking - he and his wife had cattle, and when they went to visit the herd the dog would go pelting towards the cows. He said, "I just need something to drop er so she don't get stomped." I suggested a leash. He replied, "Nah, she don't like leashes."

Nothing the general public does or says surprises me anymore.

Anonymous said: I have a natural English Cocker. Her tail is heavy, constantly wagging, and a hazard to any legs in the vicinity :) Where I am there's a lot of working cockers, and hunters will swear up and down that docking is necessary because they'll ruin their tails in the brambles, etc. I'm not convinced - my (pet) dog loves diving into thick cover and this has never been an issue. Their ears are surely more of a risk, I'd think, but no-one's trying to crop those. Is there any real merit to docking?

No, there is no real merit to docking healthy tails and you're correct in assuming the ears of cocker spaniels are far more problematic for these dogs. Cocker Spaniels are the most notorious breed for difficult, drug resistant ear infections, with quite a few of them requiring lateral or total ear canal ablation surgery, but nobody would even think about docking Cocker Spaniel ears. This is because docking and cropping are done for aesthetics, not function.

@cakeandpi said: A long time ago, I took my cat in to the vet because he was limping badly and did not want to be handled. Turns out, rather than breaking his leg or anything like that, his hip joint had essentially eroded away and - to quote - “looked like swiss cheese”. His leg was amputated and it healed nicely, though he never let anyone close to that part of his body again. He had a long, easy, and mobile life, until he was roughly 18 years old (he was a shelter rescue) when his kidneys finally gave out on him for good. Whatever happened to his hip bone, it was unusual enough that the vet sent a sample to a vet research clinic. It’s been a few years since my cat passed, and even more since his amputation, but it helps a little to think that that sample might one day help, I don’t know, with orthopedic research or something of the sort. Maybe. Question tax: I really like your fantasy-animal science posts!

I of course have no way of knowing where the hip bone went, but I'm sure somebody, somewhere will make use of it. Veterinary Medicine is advancing all the time, which is the best thing about science, and accumulating raw materials and data is critical for us to be able to do so.

Anonymous said: hi dr ferox! i love your blog! earlier today my sister cut our cat's claws with human nail trimmers. i know you're not supposed to do that, but i don't know why. i looked at his claws after she told me she did it and they don't look hurt. should i be worried? thank you so much!

I use human nail trimmers on my cats' nails all the time. It's fine if your technique is good, though they're not the easiest device to use for that purpose.

@gemma-handyman said: Dear Dr Ferox, I've tried to find the answer via google but have come up short. Do you know why some cats have such an affinity for loaves of bread? For instance, my grandmother's cat, Cece, would drag loaves beneath my grandmother's bed and fiercely protect the pilfered loaf. She's not the only cat I've heard of with a strange penchant for gluten and carbohydrates. Do you know why some cats love loaves of bread? Question tax: came for the mythical breed breakdowns- stayed for the irl info

Cats can digest carbohydrates, and from a metabolic point of view they're likely treating it as glycogen in terms of dehydration. Some cats like novel chewing textures, celery leaves is another common thing for cats to like, so may be just chewing it for fun.

Anonymous said: I want to be a vet tech but everyone always says I'm selling myself short... vet techs are just as useful right?

Of course they are. Have you ever seen a human hospital function without nurses?

Anonymous said: So our clinic has a batch of neonate puppies. 10 of them. I'm clearly not going to be able to sleep for the foreseeable future, as I'm on puppy duty. At least they're cute.

Good luck bottle feeding the little squeakers. They'll turn into waddling balls of chaos soon enough.

@fndm-trsh-sht said: my cat is a lil shit- but a cute lil shit- t h a t i s a l l- *slinks awaayyy*

Most cats are buddy, but we love them anyway.

Anonymous said: Something about the angle of trashbags ears reminds me of a goblin. Hes wonderful

He is a bit of a gremlin, he's starting to grow into his ears though.

[dorothyliker420]

huuhhoOh my GOD slrprfrsrfl(more lip licking noises)ooooh my GOd whoaoaohah. *huffing* a completeed chorus 2! HOLY SHIT oh my gohd

(silky made me this image as per request ily silky)

WELL HERE WE GO!!!!!!! A COMPLETED CHORUS CHAPTER 2!!!!!!!! CLOCKING IN AT 20,588 FUCKING WORDS AND 45 PAGES IN GOOGLE DOCS! lets see how many bs words I can add to that count am I right ladies

because of, I dont know, any italicization or bolding in the text itself was lost when I copy/pasted it to here so I guess the Experience isnt as Deep BUT ITS ALL GOOD ANYWAY because only I get to type in bold. thats how you know its me and not a rabble, but I also italicized lines that I really wanted to talk about

ill put all the Canon Real Text in an indent tho happy reading,

A Long Awaited Duet ---------------------------------***********************---------------------------------

The new canon is that in between those dashes is a really terrible swear word that the author censored with asterisks. only he knows it and he’ll unleash it when you criticize his fic

Pacing quickly around her room in a long, frustrated circle, Lisette’s worries were quickly drawing to a boiling point.

lisette’s circles make me long and frustrated am I right fellow dudes

Typically, she was a very easy-going person, the kind of girl who’d shrug off most concerns and instead focus on keeping a positive outlook. However, after spending her entire morning going through the motions, feeling trapped in a listless, uneasy funk, even she couldn’t help but be affected. It was almost noon already and still she couldn’t move her thoughts past yesterday’s tea party, to the look she’d seen weathered across Alto’s face.

Lisette is right to be threatened and uneasy. this is like the scene in the opening where the village is getting crystallized and its too late for rosa and shes like SAVE YOURSELF except instead its sexification

She hadn’t had the courage to say anything at the time, but it had haunted her thoughts ever since. Making it worse, when she’d attempted to find her mother to ask her for her advice, she hadn’t been able to find her anywhere, so she’d wound up simply spending the previous night with Marie.

the ghosts of the last chapter vaguely implying alto is too horney to sleep in the same bed as marie have returned and im frightened

“He’s… he’s still on edge, isn’t he?”

It wasn’t right. The fighting was over and peace had been won, but even when he should have been relaxing with his friends, Alto was still wearing the same guarded, strained expression. It was the same heart-breaking look she’d seen from her friend all throughout their battles, at all the times she’d stood at his die, watching him make the most difficult decisions of his life.

STOOD AT HIS DIE

She didn’t think any of the others had noticed. Perhaps she was the only one that would even be able to recognise the difference, after all, she was the only one who’d known him before all this. Back in Mithra he hadn’t been anything like that, he’d smiled freely and his gaze had was always carefree, to the point of being cheeky. Their entire lives had changed ever since she became a Witch and he followed to become her Knight… but she’d always hoped all this time that it could still return to how it was when everything was finally over.

“No,” she corrected herself, her body sagging with a deep sigh. There wasn’t any point lying to herself about this, “I’m not that naïve, I always knew it wouldn’t be that easy…”

“gee” said lisette out loud to herself with no one else around, “I am lisette from the video game stella glow. I am five foot four and my blood type is

Because, she knew Alto. And she knew, for him, that it had never been about the battles. He didn’t fear fighting, he would recklessly throw himself into danger without even a second’s thought if it meant he could help someone. As she’d told him so many times, his overwhelming compassion was both his best and worst trait. He was courageous to the point of stupidity, all he cared about was protecting the people important to him, keeping the people he loved safe and happy, as best he could. That was all the fighting had ever meant to him. And that was why she’d always known it couldn’t possibly be that easy for him.

im giving this alto analysis a 2 alto is a liberal degenerate who really loves hunting and also u dont know anything about him jl “AWOOOGAA” davenport if u tell me about him again ill kill you

Crying out in annoyance, Lisette slumped across the room and threw herself onto her bed, sinking deep into the large, soft mattress as if to try let it absorb a fraction of her worries.

I cannot shake the feeling he was thinkin bout her tiddies when he wrote this

‘Alto’s still fighting, even now,’ she knew that. It was a truth she’d struggled to deal with for days now, ‘The war isn’t over for him yet, because he’s still pushing himself to try find a way to keep every one of us happy.’

fuckin dumb ass horny ass bitch. mediocre ass, pathetic ass, money grubbing, fucking stupid bitch ass you dont put apostrophes around thoughts its ugly as shit

It was a painful thought, the elephant in the room and something she hated thinking about. But somehow, not thinking about it, pretending to simply ignore had become even worse.

does lisette know what an elephant is. does that expression exist. this is third person limited so its kind of weird to use that kind of anachronism

After all, if Alto was still fighting, then she wanted to fight alongside him! She was his family, his comrade, his first Witch and even his (prospective) girlfriend,

I had to cut this off because it was next level dumbshit literally anyone is his prospective girlfriend with that state of their relationship. im his prospective girlfriend 

there wasn’t a single part of her that wanted to do anything less than to support him with all her might. He was a part of her soul. He was the man she loved and someone who she would never allow herself to be separated from, she’d known those feelings for absolute certainty ever since the moment she’d woken up from death’s door and travelled around the world to stand at his side. Just thinking about him wracking himself with worries and her not helping him was terrifying!

1. 

2. that last sentence is the worst written thing in, if not human existence, then the century

And, she spared a glance over at the mirror she’d been avoiding looking at all day, even aside from that, could she really say she was any different? Was she truly able to smile like before, only because their fighting was over?

hackles raised at the prospect of mirror kink

Lisette gave a dry laugh, reaching out and squeezing the small stuffed pig Popo had given her, pressing it against her considerable chest. 

1. the pig is kinda cute like maybe but who tf is vending these smutfic items. who is crawling around in the back alleys selling cursed objects that make people horny as fuck. did ewan make a deal with the devil to sell all his twilight-zone-monkey-paw shit from his brief sponsorship with baddragon

2. die

3. lisette’s chest is CONSIDERABLE all right. it makes me CONSIDER ending it all

For all their outward appearances, in this, at least, she doubted it was any different from any of the others, no doubt that was why everything had seemed so off lately, “We’re all just stuck in limbo, aren’t we?”

this is the longest string of indirect pronouns ever like whomst??? and what an eerie sentence to end a section on. though u kno what stay in limbo

---------------------------------***********************---------------------------------

those dashes are containing the massive power of the cuss word. if even one of them falters or breaks formation the sheer obscenity would vaporize us all

Unfortunately for Lisette, her self-examination came with no easy answers or steps forward. Even though she’d accepted that being stuck in place as they were was only making things worse for all of them and particularly for Alto, there was no obvious solution she could latch onto, to change things.

this literally picks up? exactly where the previous section ended? like. with information that flows from the previous paragraph. if youre going to make that fucking big then why is it functionally useless

However, now more than ever, she was a determined woman and slowly -as the time passed and the morning faded away into early afternoon- slowly, her resolve held out and she was able to fearlessly consider even the truths she’d previously tried so hard to avoid.

why is this the ugliest formatting ive ever seen have you ever heard of an em dash or, a comma. also im losing shit at Determination Resolve Holding Out Shes Never Done This wasnt this like the sole bad point of her tunings

She knew she loved Alto, that he was the only man who’d ever made her feel complete 

But, she also knew that the other Witches felt just the same, she forced herself to accept the fact that he was just as important to them as he was to her.

ok nvm im not done being pissed at The Only Man like yeah lisette its called comphet im rewriting this so that lisette realizes shes a lesbian and also that whole Complete Her thing is all of whats wrong with lisettes arc like all of it this is what men do

It was something they’d all consciously avoided discussing, something that none of them seemed to know how to deal with. Her companions, the other Witches, were all as close as family to her, she loved them all dearly… And yet, they were all competing, in their own way, for the same man.

alto is three years old

She was sure they must feel just as awkward about that as her, there was a reason why even the ever impulsive Popo or the harsh-blunt Sakuya 

tell u whats harshing my blunt........this fic ((takes a weed puff

had never said anything and why, no matter how much they talked and how much they shared, this single topic was never once addressed directly, they’d all been working on the same process as her- that it was too strange a situation and too difficult a conversation to deal with, that the best thing to do was simply wait till after the war when Alto would be able to reciprocate their feelings, and then there the problem would solve itself. Well… The war was over. And they were all still tiptoeing around each other’s hearts, all waiting for the same response from the same man. “We must all seem so silly.”

tf were they supposed to do to address it? like lets just accept the gross situation but was they supposed to so call everyone to a room lisette spins around in a big chair and says We’re Here To Discuss The Het or maybe this happens

She could just imagine how ridiculous this situation must appear from the outside; five best friends all in love with the same man, all waiting for him to respond to their feelings and all marooned in the same silent stand-off, walking on eggshells while pretending everything was fine. No doubt her mother found it hilarious.

thats the worst line ive ever seen in my life. oedipus rex has nothing on this bitch

that aside like accepting them all as comphets for the moment. literally never interacted on a regular basis with another boy their age. except hilda I guess but it doesnt matter this is so dumb! yall is a bunch of trauma victims you cant just jump directly into the boinking

“Grrr! This is all your fault Alto! Stupid! Since when did you get so popular anyway!? You weren’t like that in Mithra! You’re just… you’re just too dependable… You mean so much to all of us, we can’t help but love you…”

deadass u told me this was dialogue from the anime where the tiddies bounced when the girl blinked? id believe it

He was their conductor. They all loved him. They all wanted to be with him. They were all waiting for him to favour only them…

dont like how its treated that its an absolute that witches will just fall for their conductor thats like sayin no one is safe around bi ppl. reach perhaps but its the same dumbass ideas

Perhaps that was the worst part of all. The more she thought about it, the more she was starting to realise just what an impossible situation their feelings and expectations had put Alto into. She knew better than anyone just how much he cared for each of them, she’d healed the scars on his body time and again that showed just how far he’d go to protect any of them… And yet, without ever really thinking how, they were all still asking him to then choose between them, to decide which of his Witches he loved the most.

but also I just had the revelation that author does not know what romantic love is like, at all, and the smoke cleared I am enlightened and theres nothing I dont understand

And, she couldn’t help him at all, could barely even support him in what must be an incredibly painful choice for him. All she could do was leave it to him, and trust that when he did choose, that he felt the same way about her as she did about him and they would finally be together. As for the rest… She didn’t know… The thought of him choosing one of the others over her was almost too painful, to terrifying to consider, but the knowledge that her friends would have to go through that was no less terrible…

tired of u demonizing r*mantic love. fuck its th most exhilarating experience of my life. that and having a baby shark sit in my hands. dont give all these Oh No People Get Hurt to justify just fuckin whoever u want

That was the mire they were all stuck in. That was why Alto was still looking so stressed and why none of them had been able to move forwards. There wasn’t anything any of them could do and there was no way to make everyone happy. She frowned bitterly. ‘…Would… Would it even make us happy?’

me, who had never been as happy as I am prior to being in love: hell yeah bitch dis go hard as hell flocka

It was a strange thing to consider, something she’d never once thought before this very moment- she’d thought for so long she was waiting for Alto to return her feelings, she’d wanted so long to be with him and to be together forever. But, would she really be happy like that? Could she truly be happy being with the man she loved at the expense of watching the companions she held dear, the friends she’d bled and cried together with, becoming heartbroken? Mordi, Popo, Sakuya, and especially Hilda, after all they’d been through, after how important she knew Alto was to each of them… Her heart clenched in her chest just imagining it!

if this is a question then ur not in romantic love idiot! shut up

But… That was how it had to be, wasn’t it? They’d all been foolish enough to fall for the same man, there was only one Alto. No.

dumps the big ass mess of gl***ng pr**e poly edits here but im not saving it to my computer so u gotta imagine it

Lisette propped herself up on the bed, a previously unfathomable conclusion quickly becoming clear to her. No. She couldn’t accept that. And Alto surely wouldn’t accept that. He’d never accepted that they couldn’t stop the Eclipse. He hadn’t accepted that they couldn’t fight against God. And, at the end of everything, he’d refused to accept that Mother Qualia had to be their enemy. A solution that put the entire burden on Alto and led to all her friends being heartbroken? How could she ever accept that!? How could she ever have thought something like that would make her happy!? That wasn’t how they worked! They were the Tuning Knights, humans that had defeated God and saved Marie! They would never accept such a lukewarm compromise.

fucking................mormons..................................

‘Well now,’ she laughed, ‘If I really think about it, the solution is pretty obvious, isn’t it?’ It was reckless and crazy, nothing at all like anything she’d ever imagined herself doing… But then, didn’t that just make it the same as everything else they’d done?

this isnt even how polyamory works!!!!!!!! sorry im not being funny I just really value r*mant*c love and listen NO ONE would just sit down and think “yes clearly the healthiest thing for the person my heart is devoted to is to juggle 6 relationships”

“Yup! I’m not gonna accept anything like that!” ultimately, all that mattered was the same conclusion she’d come to, ever since she’d returned to life. She already knew what she wanted, she just had to make it happen, “Alto, I’m by your side. Always. I’ll support you!”

hi im lisette and this is my boyfriend alto! we’re queering heterosexuality by having him fuck a ton of girls at once! swipe right if you want to hop on that dick. no gays allowed

---------------------------------***********************---------------------------------

me: this is bad content

jldavenport: h*mg*n*n*l*b*ng*s*gl*m

me: vaporized in silhouette against the wall from the sheer power

Finishing off a long day of meetings, reports and training, clad in his usual attire (sans the armour,

oh shit its sans thearmour!!!! gonna have a bad time that being said makes sense that hes european the gross fuck

thankfully for him) and returning from the dormitory baths with a relieved sigh, Alto scarcely had time to close the door to his room behind him before he was suddenly jolted from his thoughts by an excited knocking. “Eh? Lisette?”

the phrase “dormitory baths” pisses me the fuck off where do you get off jldavenport. probably all over your keyboard but stop saying shit like that this isnt your canon bitch

A late-night visit from his orange haired friend wasn’t especially unusual, but to see her standing around in her Witches outfit 

epithets, especially those that refer to hair color, are awful and amateurish but because he still doesnt know this apparently: Redhead. Is. A. Fucking. Word. 

in her Witches outfit

that wasnt good enough to warrant that large of an image but like that movie fucked me up so bad lets see what scars me worse the mouse scene or this fic

at this time of night certainly was. And even stranger than that, she was wearing the original outfit, the one she’d worn since the first time she’d awakened to her powers in Mithra, rather than the more dazzling Goddess robes she’d gained after he’d finally tuned her heart, ‘I suppose it’s probably easier to sit around in this one?’ If he had to wear something as flashy as any of the dresses the girls wore, he was sure he’d spent half his time worrying about ripping it.

honestly content notwithstanding this reads like an instructional on what NOT to do when writing. you write like this? dont. its very entry level like I cant say that I necessarily write better but do what I say not what I do

throwing the goddess thing out there is like him saying LOOK!!!! A FACT i KNOW ABOUT THE ACTUAL CANON!!!!!! HAHA

Despite standing staring at him from the hallway, with her face flushed and eyes not quite meeting his, she still hadn’t said anything, “Er, Lisette? Is something wrong?”

knocking on someones door and forgetting why ur there is a neurodivergent feel lisette has adhd now and theres nothing you can do about it

“Ah!” she jumped before finally shaking herself off and responding with a slight anxiousness, anxiety. see me after class “No, no not really. I just… I’ve had a lot of mind and I thought it’d be better if we could talk a bit? Do… Do you mind if we spend the night together, again?”

lisette u were literally talking to urself five minutes ago abt havin him fuck everyone and now ur all anime blushus. bitch

He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. She wanted to share his bed again? Spend the night holding hands like back then? Stopping himself short of giving her an answer, Alto suddenly realised just how imploringly she was looking up at him.

they literally used this exact Mouth Suddenly Dry thing last chapter do ppl who enjoy this fic actually like that r smthn. they get wet 4 the dry

“Huh, it’s not like you to actually ask…” He teased softly. Usually Lisette was far more insistent about this sort of thing, he’d normally expect her to simply march into his room and seat herself on his bed. He only realised as she spoke that for her to act like this, for whatever reason she was acting like this, it must be important to her that he did accept her request 

ugly sentence. ugly, ugly sentence. ew. im actually so bored by this sentence im ceasing work on this for the night good bye

She didn’t want to force it on him. Still… He couldn’t help but hesitate. It was stupid, he knew, but he’d felt awkward spending time alone with any of the girls since after the war, lest any of them get the wrong idea.

“get the wrong idea” DONT FUCKING WRITE ALTO LIKE THIS I AM IMMORTAL MY SKIN IS ADAMANTINE YOU SHALL FALL BEFORE ME

A moment passed and still Lisette didn’t say anything; clenching her hands nervously below her wait -and unintentionally pushing her impressive bust out even further towards him- 

the commissioner, apparently upon seeing stella glow:

she silently awaited his response. Blushing a little under her low gaze, Alto realised it was getting harder and harder to remember the days when he’d seen her just like a sister.

this proves its inhuman and disgusting because it gave me visceral flashbacks to fire emblem fates so lemme post some of my fave incest quotes from that, starting with the ones it made me astral project into

2.

did that last one haunt u because for a split second you imagined a world where lisette said them? good bc that shit keeps me up at night. im tired of cropping these quotes out so like we’re done my point has been made

In the end though, he couldn’t possibly deny her. Not for no reason, and not when she looked at him like that, “Yeah, of course Lisette. That sounds fun.”

the begging thing from the last chapter hit me full force in memory and I honestly hope it comes back bc ive got a dynamite joke locked and loaded

Breaking out into a bright smile, the Water Witch sagged in relief, taking him by surprise as she reached out to take his hand in hers, letting her body fall soft and warm against him as she did so. Her breath tickled hot across his collar and Alto’s heart jumped in shock!

DONT EVER USE EXCLAMATION POINTS LIKE THIS im serious. it is about as ugly, 2007-fanfic-net-core you can get. 

Her hands felt smooth and gentle, wrapped warm around his… 

HIS WHAT

he’d felt that before, it was pleasant, although not anything new. But feeling her head falling lovingly to his shoulder like this and having her entire body now laying against his… His mouth went dry, 

Wet 4 The Dry Confirmed

he could even feel her breasts pushing large and heavy against his own chest! ‘Woah… S-So soft… They’re even bigger than Rosa’s, aren’t they?’

can you believe this was written completely unironically? like, people find this hot? if it didnt deplete the experience of reading this fic id replace every line referencing boobs with a comment from nicki minaj’s instagram

For just a split second, no matter how much of a gentleman he was, standing there like that, it was impossible for him not to compare the mother and daughter.

WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SON

“Li-Lisette?” he choked out, desperately reigning in his thoughts before they rampaged down a dangerous direction. “Mmm, Alto, hehe, I’m glad,” she giggled happily, skipping back and beaming up at him as she tugged on his hands, leading him off, “Even just being like this with you, I feel better already!”

ok I have NO idea what movement theyre doing. shes like, skipping and then she comes back and takes his hands and idk probably his dick or something

Absolutely caught up in her rhythm, they were halfway down the hall before Alto finally realised she’d pulled him completely out of his room!

heres a coded message just for katt: e*****t w** d****** **m!the narration means he was aware she was pulling him so like where the fuck did he think he was going if not outside his room

“Uh, h-hey, Lisette? We’re going somewhere? I thought you wanted to go to sleep?” “That’s right,” she nodded simply, giving up and tugging him and instead falling into step beside him, “But your bed’s too small for it to be comfortable, so we’re gonna use my room instead!” Alto almost dug his heels in from sheer indignation! 

im sorry. im sorry I had to cut this up but come on. come the fuck on. indignation. like she made a point and alto is all “insolent female requesting things of me” have you not met alto. authot is from r/incels

She’d come all this way to see him, just to drag him back to her room!? How self-indulgent could she be!? And, it wasn’t as if his bed back in Mithra had been any larger and she’d never complained before. Eventually, he just sighed and followed her lead, it wasn’t worth getting worked up over. If it would make her happier, then that was fine. It might be nice to spend a night in someone else’s room for a change too.

Walking hand in hand through the halls like this was fairly embarrassing, thankfully it seemed that it was late enough that no-one else was around. He really, really didn’t want to suddenly run into Rusty like this, let alone Giselle, or Sakuya… Supressing a shudder, Alto hurried on.

“let alone giselle” wh???? I am so baffled by this. obviously rusty or sakuya would give him shit but whats giselle gonna do??? is alto being bullied by a robot?????? I want giselle to appear and smash alto’s frosting into the ground

“I won’t hesitate, bitch,” said Giselle, pointing her laser at altos dick and shattering it into one million individual pieces

Unlike the tiny spare room he’d been assigned so long ago now, Lisette, as a Witch, had been housed in the premium quarters on the other side of their dormitory. 

stop. stop saying dormitory. this is not a college

Luckily in this case, unlike the Palace, the building wasn’t overly large so it was only a short trip to her room. They arrived a few minutes later, just as his heart was beginning to settle down.

…

what happened to the long ass aterisks break. oh god the swear word is coming isnt it

Unfortunately, the moment Lisette opened the door and they stepped inside, Alto’s breath was one again caught violently in his throat, “H-Hilda!?” And indeed, kneeling serenely atop a small cushion in the middle of the large room, the Time Witch was sipping calmly from her usual green ceramic tea-cup, as if there was nothing strange about her presence here at all.

I dont like how shes sitting on a pillow in the center of the room that sounds ritualisitic

(bangs pink cup on the ground) She Sits On The Sacrificial Fuck Pillow ((group of hooded figures behind me start chanting “Fuck Pillow! Fuck Pillow!”

Watching as she settled the drink aside, perfectly in synch with the sound of Lisette locking the door behind her, Alto’s mouth went dry.

theres so much wrong with the syntax and shit but im pushing that all aside to say how fucking difficult it is to sync sound like that even on purpose so yeah theyre def doing a cult sacrifice to the original sex god, elcrest

A moment of silence reigned and somewhere in the back of his currently panicking mind, the bewildered Conductor couldn’t help but notice that Hilda too was wearing her standard Witches’ outfit, the same form fitting black dress 

“dress” very generous for mr boob grower

and wide sweeping hat she’d become associated with for so many years. However, in her case, this wasn’t much of a surprise. As far as he’d seen from the White-Haired woman, she didn’t seem to actually own any normal, casual attire and, while he knew she deeply adored he beautiful white dress she’d unlocked when he’d purified her lonely heart, he also knew that even she couldn’t help but feel rather self-conscious, wearing something that was practically a wedding dress as an everyday outfit, he hadn’t seen Hilda’s Goddess Robes since the end of the final battle.

I literally cannot read any part of this paragraph except the capitalization of White-Haired and Goddess Robes this was either written in the 1700s or modern day by me dissociating in a target bathroom this is so funny if the fic gets any funnier ill die

“Alto? I’m surprised. Isn’t it a bit late for you to be visiting a woman’s bedroom?”

horny dont got business hours babe

“Ah, H-Hilda! It’s, it’s not what you’re thinking, I, Lisette!? Wha-” “Relax Alto,” the Water Witch giggled softly as she stepped forward, taking his hand again, but this time wrapping herself around his arm, “She’s just teasing you.” “Wha… Abuh?”

this is harem anime/fire emblem dialogue right down to the “Abuh?” actually thats the defining thing you hear someone say that youre in a straight anime and you need to run for your fucking life

“My apologies,” Hilda nodded, offering him a small smile in recompense as she matched Lisette’s movements, taking hold of his other hand, her pale face burning bright red as her soft fingers entwined with his, “I just, got a little flustered seeing you so suddenly… I… I wasn’t sure what to say.”

ok first of all you cannot write hilda in any realm of possibility but also like this is yet another thing to not trust men for: emphasizing the whiteness of a womans skin. he is a racist, plain and simple

Her hand squeezed nervously around his and Alto realised just how easily he could feel her racing heart through the light fabric of her dress when she pulled his arm against herself. Not that Lisette was any different, he couldn’t possibly believe in the confidant front she was showing after knowing her as long as he had, not when he could feel her entire body trembling against him.

hilda is like two ft tall howd she even reach his arm. also like there isnt even any fabric boy u raw touchin her 

His mouth opened and closed, but he couldn’t think what to say, he wasn’t mentally prepared for any of this! He’d gone from expecting to go to sleep, to being visited by Lisette, to being dragged through the halls, and now he was being sprung with some surprise meeting!? And both of them were clinging to him like never before! 

this is in character alto not wanting to have a threesome so he can go nap

He couldn’t possibly keep up. Before he even realised it, he’d been pulled all the way over to Lisette’s bed and was sitting with a girl wrapped around either of his arms.

what a problem! what a terrible day for him! what are the odds of this happening!

“What… What’s going on?” “Something good.” Hilda answered in her own cryptic fashion, her voice almost breathless and her blazing red cheeks half hidden behind his cloak as she shyly slid in right next to him.

it is most certainly not good ma’am

“That’s right,” Lisette agreed, happily snuggling up against him as she squeezed herself around his other arm, “We’re gonna help you come to a decision!”

we’re gonna make u C*M...............to a decision ;)

Alto blinked, “Eh?”

petition for this to turn out like the friends episode where ross got kicked out of a threesome with his wife and another woman bc they were lesbians so he left and made a sandwich

conveniently the fic decides to break here anyway so thats all you get for now. I’ll finish the other parts later (im expecting like maybe five because of the gargantuan size of this travesty) and link them direct from here 

Part 2 here! (coming soon)