#like i get it. i just cannot justify that. TOO MUCH. ill just enjoy the hi res cover art i can see on ebay... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ofmermaidstories · 7 months

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(This is all about ''Something (just like this'' :], i apolagize in advance)

Theres an auther (you, i'm thinking of you) that has given sutch weight to the simple human pains everyone has, let them cary a greaf in every breath they're mentioned, i can't help but ache with the mc as one because i get it, i understand and even if i handn't felt the same pain that crushes your hope of ever being loved in the same way you do, if i hadn't though myself cynical and bitter the way she does i still think i'd get it.

I still think i'd be able to see myself cradle my heart like an infant, even though it's an old ugly, terrable creature.

The plots so ritch it's unbalivable that i get to read your works for free, like i knew it was her bestfried the second our artist glaced over her sholder and saw her drawing kids with guns in masks. But it was her best-fucking-fried, who dies without answering her livid questioning.

It's her constant self awair bitternes to the person she is that just-

Chefs fucking kiss.

Like the way she views herself and everyone else she thinks threatens the few things she sees as good in her with a sort of cynicalnes, but through herself that is bloody perfect.

Shes insane for the shit she pulls, Gods i love her.

I cannot expres enough of my love for the way you craft your words, the story and the way you put so mutch care into it makes me ill.

Izuku is caprured so well, his whole being being intertwined with Katsukies-....i am going feral as we speak.

Also her being an artist so acuretly presented, it's insane, the way she is about her skill, her talents, her works and her instuments and the way there are these little moments she wants to capture is so stupidly accurate to how i see the world as a creative. Always hungry and always craving to make, even when im no where near a peace of paper or even the shittiest of pens.

Im grinning and in fucking tears. (As i was writing all of this in my notes i wasn t even that far into the last chapter.)

Holy fuck, god i fucking despise Hana. And i get why, and im amazed at how her resoning, her pain and anger dosn't justify(?) shit when i've seen a lot of things where someones inhumane actions get swept under the rug cus they were hurting quietly, or something.

She was like a quirk nazi. Nothing redeams(?) that, y'know?

Auther i am shaking you by the sholders, and im sorry if my nails dig in too deep but holy fuck. Breathings hard, fic so good my rib cage has started to feel too small for my heart, and my lungs, and the hole your story has carved inbetween all of it.

Fic so good i haven't even gotten to the end and i want to thank you for, for all this has done to me. I'm shit with fics where there are a lot of words, no matter how mutch i love the characters and yet, and yet somehow this is one of the 100k + fanfics i have enjoyed every gut wrenching second of.

I feel like vomiting

In fact

I might.

They all need therapy after this, methinks.

(I know this is long and loopy, and my english (my second language) is not great, and that ultametly i kinda said nothing but i needed you to see (at least a little bit of) how insanely wonderful your craft is)

Anywho, i still haven't finished, and that was a lot of words, but i hope you have a lovely 24 h, i wish you the best with all of your future works. "Something (just like this)" has...given me brain damadge i'm guessing.

Blue, there is nothing to apologise for, I think you are wonderful. 🥺 You said everything. 🥺 From this message alone—from you taking the time to write it, and send it, I can tell you that there’s nothing about your heart that’s old or ugly or terrible. If anything, I think it’s golden—like the afternoon sun, reflecting all that good light back until it’s too much to hold. 🥹🫀✨

But okay, lemme try and do the thoughtfulness of this ask some justice. 🥹💕 God, to be honest I kinda worried about Hana, and her place in the story. Like—knowing how it was going to end. I think a lot of us will end up parting ways with people in our life that were important—and some, unfortunately, for ugly reasons. Hana’s betrayal is like, so extreme, so dramatic and terrible. And it doesn’t just hurt Reader, it hurt other people, kids. Like sure, Hana was hurt—but then she turned around and hurt others, willingly. And there’s no justice for the ones she directly affects. You’re right, Blue. You can’t redeem that—you can only pick up the pieces around it.

Tbh, I think Reader’s bitterness would’ve made building a life after it all that much harder, if it weren’t for other people. 🥹 Like—Scribbles cynical nature was such a fun part of writing the fic, lmao, and it absolutely would’ve made life that much harder for her in the aftermath if she didn’t have support. 🥹 I think someone like Scribbles, who barely trusts themselves, was a good match/contrast for Izuku who—like, even in canon is learning to overcome the worst of his most fear-driven habits. It gives him the ability to see Scribbles in a way that—that she needed. 🥺

Bluey!!! You’re an artist too??? Like our Reader. 🥹 The need to document everything is so real lmao. Like—it’s constant!! An insatiable way of looking at the world. 🥹 How do I capture this, how can I do this. I literally just had that feeling the other night, driving home under a perfectly straight trail of cloud like a comet’s tail. The sky was that perfect, indigo glow, and there was a single star alongside of it and it genuinely looked like the trail of a meteorite streaking over the sky and I wanted to remember everything about it. I wanted to draw it, write it, anything to keep it.

Blue, you have said so many kind things about my writing. 🥺 Either in this ask or in the tags of other things. And!!! It means so much to me, every time. 🥺 This is what I mean when I say you have a reflective, golden heart. 🥹💛🌿 I’m always going to be glad that like, I could write something that made you wanna reach out and say hello, lmao, but mostly I’m just glad you’re here. ☀️

(Also, as an aside—you mentioned a song, in the tags of one post a little while ago. I wanted you to know that I immediately ran to spotify to try and find it, lmao, and listen to it and like, now it lives in my likes and every time I listen to it I think of you and also of maybe trying to write a Bakugou worthy of the association, lmao. It’s such a sweet song, Blue, thank-you for the new music 🌷)

#ofmermaidstories-asks #something just like this — fic

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nova-alien-jewposting · 4 months

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welcome to my blog! 🌈🤎 ~~~~

about me 🌈🤎 ~~~~

🤍 hi there! i'm nova/ariel (נובה/אריאל), and welcome to my jewposting sideblog where i will be posting stuff having to do with judaism and israel! i am over 21, jewish, israeli, ukrainian, and american. i have deep ties to israel especially, with most of my family currently living or having lived there.

🤍 i don't feel like i align neatly into any specific sect of judaism. in terms of practice i'd say i'm conservative leaning, but i'm an avid tanach learner and enjoy examining orthodox and chasidic teachings.

🤍 i am currently a student at a major university in the united states under federal investigation for how severe its antisemitism has gotten. i will not be disclosing which university this is, but just know i am experiencing firsthand what has been going on in terms of these issues.

🤍 i block freely, and i don't owe an explanation to anyone about who i block or why. i do so for my own comfort, and you're welcome to block me as well. i don't care.

🤍 i am autistic and ADHD, and am mentally ill. if i accidentally say something questionable, please TELL ME! i want to do better, so please don't pull that "you know what you did" shit. i promise you i literally have no clue what the hell i did.

🤍 want more info on me? see my carrd here!

🤍 the character you see on this profile is one of my own! i love him very much and i hope you do too. all things retro and nostalgic are huge sources of comfort for me. :3

art by nekonekodesu23 on toyhouse!

things to know 🌈🤎 ~~~~

🤍 i am not pro-israel, nor am i pro-hamas. i don't give a shit if you-re pro-palestinian. i have a problem with the hamas supporters/antisemites. i've hated bibi (netanyahu for you non-israelis) long before this conflict broke out, as do many other israelis and jew alike. i don't agree with a lot of the shit he says or how he is handling the current situation. i hate both sides of this conflict. imo, the hostages should be returned, and a PERMANENT ceasefire should be honored (this does not mean hamas consistently violating the ceasefires set in place; october 7th WAS a ceasefire violation).

🤍 so many of my family members are currently in the IDF being forced to fight in a war they never had a say about, and i don't know who out of them is still alive. i don't think the IDF's intent is to completely annihilate gaza, because trust me, they could have turned the entire strip into a fucking parking lot MONTHS ago. that said, i don't like what bibi and his posse are making them do over there. they're mostly just scared college kids forced into combat.

🤍 if you believe that jews control the media, that jew = zionist and vice versa, that israeli = jew and vice versa, that jews are responsible for all the world's problems, that all jews and/or israelis are evil and want to murder palestinians, that antisemitism isn't real, that october 7th was justified/didn't happen, that hamas are "freedom fighters," or anything similar, get the fuck off my blog. i don't need antisemites here. similarly, if you cannot have a conversation with a jewish person without bringing up the i/p conflict, you are also not welcome here.

🤍 i don't consider myself to be a zionist, nor do i consider myself to be an anti-zionist. you can call me whatever you want. but as a jewish israeli, i'm not cool with people trying to justify the largest massacre of jews since the HOLOCAUST, or calling for the destruction of the only country i've felt at home in. i don't give a shit if it's a one or two state solution or what, i just want peace. i don't want anyone else killed or maimed on either side. i have no issue with advocating for and supporting the palestinians OR criticizing israel as long as antisemitism isn't thrown in.

🤍 the second anyone as a non-jew starts saying what they think antisemitism is or isn't, they're getting blocked. if you wouldn't say something about any other marginalized group (POC, queer, disabled, neurodivergent, mentally ill, homeless, etc), don't say it about jews. and if you would, you're DEFINITELY not welcome here.

🤍 this is the ONLY blog i will be posting political things on. do not bring politics from this blog on to any of my other blogs, or you will be blocked. i keep my blogs separate for a reason.

user boxes 🌈🤎 ~~~~

#jew #jewblr #jewish tumblr #jumblr #jewish #intro post #introduction #blog intro #introductory post #pinned intro #pinned post #am yisrael chai #jews #judaism

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bosskie · 8 months

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The First Page of My Molluck Sketchbook

Yeah, last night I felt like starting doing my Molluck sketchbook stuff since like I said, I kinda wanna make it be like a book about Molluck. I finished this after I woke up. But yeah, it felt logical to start the book with the info about Molluck, so the next pages I do tell about him and his story.

I felt like drawing his 'older version' of him and his Soultorm version together since they both are him. While drawing this, I just felt stronger that the Soulstorm version has the same feeling than his older versions. He looks even more similar to his older versions than I thought. I mean with 'older versions' New 'n' Tasty, Abe's Oddysee and such versions of him in general since they are so similar but not identical. There are little differences between NnT and AO versions, like his cigar and suit have less details in NnT. The 'older' Molluck I drew is a mixture of those older versions, like that cigar is from AO but his face details are from NnT. Oh, and I have never really drawn his older version before.

I kinda started to see his older version in a new light after I drew it. I do also really like his older version; he is so handsome and cute there too! Yeah, for me, it's difficult to find Molluck really intimidating... Him looking 'intimidating' or 'sinister' only makes me think how handsome he is... I just love this Gluk too much for that... He is my only desire... Man, like I started to love and learn about octopuses just because of him... But I do love octopuses just like they are too but I cannot help myself with the fact that I love them more because they do remind me of Molluck... He just makes me like things that remind me of him...

I feel like I don't care what Molluck has done in a sense of loving him since true love doesn't care about such things. Love is not about logic, even my self-hatred wishes me to think that love do is about logic and deserving... Man, I just had one self-hatred moment today and my mind just told me that well, I deserve a jerk like Molluck... I don't think about Molluck like that, it's just my ill mind.

When it comes to Glukkon standards, I just feel like Molluck is a sweet Gluk; he just gives me this impression even he is portrayed as 'the meanest boss in the world'. I more like think that it's what Abe sees, he is the teller in that cutscene after all, after seeing Molluck's plan to kill him and his fellow Muds. Of course it must have been a shock to Abe, just like seeing Molluck as naked... I just laugh like everytime at Abe's reaction to naked Molluck in AO... And yes, AO because in NnT, Abe's reaction is milder. I feel like there gotta be like a Gluk inside me since I feel like a Gluk when I do play Oddworld games...

Yeah, I cannot deny that I'm on Molluck's side... He is just a perfection for me and I cannot help it... I do keep saying this stuff since I feel like I just cannot get enough of this Gluk... I just love this smoking hot(tie) so much...

Oh, and yes, I do prefer that Soulstorm version of him because he just looks even more handsome and adorable but also beautiful! And yeah, like I have said back then, I feel that already in NnT, Molluck started to get 'softer' but he has that something in AO too. Like, he even calls his own meat products disgusting.

I just think that Molluck only cares about getting his moolah and living his luxury life, not really killing all the species; he just does what he can to get that moolah, no matter how. He was in a tight situation when his business started to get down and he had tried different products, like having his own cigar brand, and not to forget that 'Molluck's mouth lube'... But they were flops. So, he probably didn't really have any other choice if he wanted to survive. I just wish to understand Molluck, not really justify his actions. It's not easy to be a Gluk, and he did all that backstabbing to gain his position. Yes, Molluck do can exaggerate, be unforgivable, cruel, and enjoy killing... But I still feel like he does have a heart; I just feel it.

Man, I didn't really mean to talk this much but I just love to talk about Molluck...

#molluck #oddworld molluck #molluck the glukkon #oddworld #art like a bosskie

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struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor · 1 year

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In regards to the performance thing… I honestly think it’s nerves. As much as he is really showing a new side to himself and leading with this image of confidence and bravado, it’s hard to shake the type of self-critical feelings that we know he has had for years about his performances— and that was when he was with a group that’s like family to him, supporting and performing all together. It really is another thing entirely to walk onto a stage alone and ‘fill’ it with your presence, voice, dancing, energy etc.

He is of course most certainly capable of doing it! BUT it’s not easy and a totally different mental game. I think Yoongi mentioned it in their Suchwita episode… this feeling of knowing that you HAVE to go on despite illness, a bad day, stress, nerves, or whatever because you’re the only one and everyone came to watch you.

I think he may be skipping some of those more difficult lines at times because JK (as we know), is the type of person who would much rather only have a perfect version exist… almost like he’d rather pull back slightly than hit a run slightly flat or not 100% perfectly. And let’s be real, he’s amazing but he’s human— you cannot do everything perfectly every time. But when you’re alone on stage and all eyes are on you, it’s really easy to get more worked up in your head than you’d assume even a seasoned performer would get.

He knows we know that he’s capable, so I think sometimes he’s making split second decisions to not risk ‘marring’ (in his head, I don’t think anyone would actually expect the level of perfection from him that he expects of himself) a performance, if he can recognise that the nerves are more prevalent that day.

I also think it comes down to how ‘ready’ he deems himself to be. In his live he said he didn’t really get to monitor the performance well beforehand and he only ran through it once. From all the years of behind the scenes content, we obviously know that as a group and individually when BTS are prepping for shows they rehearse for weeks/months, do multiple tech run throughs, stay late to do extra practice… but when it’s a concert organised by other people, you get your allocated time to tech and that’s it. Nerves are often dampened by how adequate you feel your preparation is, so it could be that for a lot of these overseas schedules he just feels more out of his depth a bit because he doesn’t have as much opportunity to prepare the way he’s used to.

Of course this is something that all the members will have had to navigate, but I think perhaps in trying to push himself to be this new ultra confident version of himself he’s actually unknowingly made it harder for himself to not be ‘perfect’. That, and he’s definitely promoting in a way that’s unfamiliar/outside of the usual schedule for comebacks… the other members seem happy to align their promoting style with their personality or working styles, so maybe they’ve given themselves a better chance at feeling comfortable alone and also comfortable to be human/flawed.

I don’t know, just some thoughts! Sorry this is so long lol

I don't think it's nerves or being a perfectionist. Jungkook performed at the WC so his Seven performances can't be more nerve wrecking than performing in front of random soccer fans. When he's nervous you can tell (maybe his voice is shaky at first) but he gets over it. His performances have been consistent too, from his US and UK promos to performing at home for Army at Inkigayo or Yoongi's concert. He's been enjoying himself, and I don't think nerves have anything to do with it. Even his cold doesn't justify his performance because now that he's seemingly recovered, his performance is the same. I also think Jungkook isn't afraid of taking risks. He's never 100% perfect on stage and he's experienced enough to know that. Sometimes his vocals are a bit flat or pitchy, and that's normal. He's proven that he can sing anything he wants to sing during live Seven performances (he does one high note, so he could do the rest), but I think he's choosing not to, and that's what's disappointing. Surely, bad weather and the cold don't help, but it's more than that. I don't want to make excuses for him. I think the consistency of his performances prove that these are all choices he's making, and I just don't like them and think he can do much better.

#ask #bts #jungkook #thanks for the ask #text

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system-startup · 1 year

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We ["I"] need to stop focusing on feeling in order to check on our health. It's too complicated and it's become abundantly clear that we've been in severe constant pain for so long that we can't use sensation as an accurate determinator. "Am I in pain?" is not a question with an uncertain answer. It became "am I in too much pain — enough that I should utilise limited resources to do something about it?" and the answer is difficult to find.

I can't complete chores.

On a "good" day, I can make myself do a few dishes in one "session", and I pull away in higher pain to rest so I don't hurt myself.

Today, I forced myself through a couple dishes, and stumble away in agony, barely made it to the chair and had to recover from hurting myself.

So behaviour, cause and effect: This is how we discern.

I was less inclined to do dishes, didn't do it for a day, went from making myself do it to forcing myself to do it.

So at that point, I take the medicine. But how to figure it out before I take it too far...

I made myself do dishes because the sink was full. I live with 3 other people currently; two work full time, perletually exhausted and ill. The other is elderly, ill, and in need of surgery. I am crippled and ill, but with stubborn maintenance I become the best option for a lot of things.

Making my honey use his extremely limited free-time on chores is cruel. I'd cook too, if I could. I miss my own cooking anyway. It's never been for lack of wanting to do chores—I used to enjoy chores. I liked doing the dishes a long, long time ago, before the family abused every drop of ability out of us by forcing labour and refusing to maintain us remotely at all even a little bit (nor allow us the means to do it or teach us almosr anything about how to do it ourselves).

But it's always painful now, excruciating now...so it's always forced. Unlike them, we know now better—we can do a few dishes in multiple sessions, and if we can't do them all, we understand that we still helped decrease the load.

It's not all or nothing.

Knowing where it comes from, why it happens, why it gets worse, how to avoid it getting worse, understanding that I can't always, and not letting that get in the way of my logic but instead continually adjusting...

It's exhausting but nobody's going to do it for me.

Unfortunately, rest isn't something I can afford. If I'm not suffering, someonelse is, and I can't justify doing nothing no matter what people tell me. It's nice and all, but it doesn't pay the bills, or fill stomachs, it doesn't help with pain, or help anyone's work-load, including my own honestly. If I don't do anything not only do I feel worse, but I and up having to deal with more shit.

It's a privilege to be able to rest and unfortunately, I was raised to be an unstoppable force, and within that design I remain, though I pilot myself as my own now, and integrate health and maintenance and consideration best I can.

Who I am cannot, and will not be changed. The idea that I should rest, can rest, deserve to rest is the only damn answer I ever get from anyone and it's just not an option and at this point seeing it's honestly starting to really piss me off.

It's only really left me having to figure out how to calibrate myself on my own.

But I don't have the energy to try and find someone who knows these things. I have to make my own path or hope someone with the kindness to bother speaking to me knows something, can remind me of something.

#CNS Jailbreaking

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prince-tulip · 1 year

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Im so terrified. I dont want to get hurt. Its not even been a month and i am so fucking obsessed and invested and i definitely want to be, i know what i feel and do want but its like damn I got hurt so fucking devastatingly bad this year that literally killed me, the levels of despair i cannot feel again, i am not strong enough for that, i barely have made it back to reality and its like as soon as i get the hang of things, things get crazy again and its like everything is exactly how ive always wanted them to be right now and i couldn't be more happy cause i truly know what i feel and when things are at its best, god its so fucking perfect but i feel im not able to talk to anyone yet or be more open about stuff cause i feel like a secret, like ill get casted out again..like i worry i am getting kept in the dark so i dont see or experience something bad, like for example they dont have me on their social media at all and i feel weird and scared about asking or getting on there and getting triggered by something and that maybe im just being used for validation and as a rebound because im so forgiving and easy to talk to or something.. in return its causing me to not know what's really happening, am i what they want? Are they talking to anyone else? Do they think so highly of me like i do them? Do they recognize the way we move together and talk to eachother? Is it as meaningful to them as it is me? Its like i know would lie about where they were or what they wang and their true intentions before, so why wouldn't they lie again? But at the same time thats not fair, cause its like i coukd very well be accused of being shitty too and still actually not be doing anything shitty and its like man..i feel like ive been living a honest and decent life, i maybe do keep to myself a bit much but i just enjoy my company and also not feeling like i have to explain myself caused ik people often times feel they have a say in things when they do not..i dont think bad things are happening behind my back the last two weeks or so and things have been magical and passionate and full of conversations, synchronized behavior, mutual understanding, growth, literally alway being able to meet in the middle on something, the dynamics i adore, we are so different but so much alike and I love it with all my being and im continuesly betting on the good things but that first week and a half idk..things seemed really off at certain moments that maybe hinted at things but again i can get very paranoid and of course cant control someone's actiona..I just dont want to throw awayy boundaries in attempts to please and i feel ive done that already in a lot of ways but by simultaneously finding such new perspectives and found love that was always there just stuck and idk i guess the feeling of trust has become so hard this year. Ever since January and in between i felt very used and thown away and lied to because i was to a degree i guess and even if ive done wrong in the past and yeah did i royally do some stupid fucking idiot type shit but ik it doesn't justify getting hurt back and i had to really come to terms with that. I had let go of that crazy person in me that would stay up two days straight crying and obsessing over what was and what is and whats happening without me, while drunk or high out of my mind constantly and go through the loneliness, the guilt, the shame, the loss all on my own in a small room with literally no one to talk to and forcing myself to come as close to dying as possible and finally move on from everything aweful in my life ever and do my best to block out every single god aweful image or notion in my head that i would get, causing insecurities and paranoia that i didn't know i was capable of...im really trying to make sense of everything cause everything is so fucking touchy right now but still having to push through and communicate and understand and love with all of my heart and vice versa I think wins every time and i feel life has been showing me that

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 2 years

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@deadgodjess yeah I thought I was done being peeved about this but I just spent a full forty minute yoga session unable to think about literally anything else. starting a new post because this one has gotten unwieldy but for anyone just joining us this is the tl;dr:

sorry it’s a day later and I’m still thinking about how dirty this godforsaken show [Gotham] did the riddler. why did you have to give him such a tacky ~ooooo mental illness is SCARY!! uh oh I killed my girlfriend by aCcIdEnT!!~ origin story when it would have been infinitely funnier for Ed to just run some numbers re: how many cases would actually get solved without him and come to the completely justifiable conclusion that he can absolutely get away with quitting his job and turning to a life of riddle-based crime.

I'm going to offer my alternative for what I, personally, think would have been a more fun Riddler buildup across Gotham's 4.5 season run. I am absolutely not seeking feedback, this is a thot exercise meant to be enjoyed by me, myself, and maybe like three people that I trust on this hellsite.

anyway having our boy Ed abruptly jump headfirst into the shallow end of the homicidal maniac pool was executed in a way that was not just wildly ableist but also mmmm dumb and boring as hell and really ripped away a lot of opportunities to use this character in a more interesting way, and by "more interesting" I cannot emphasize enough that I mean "ways that I think are funnier."

if I'm being totally honest I think producers/execs whoever got nervous about the show's continuation and insisted on pulling the trigger on Ed riddling out before season one ended in the hopes that having another Batman villain active pre-Batman would help build a little more railroad for this awful show to keep careening along on. this has to play out via the manifestation of a fucking evil alternate personality because, frankly, up until this point Ed has been characterized as pretty much a total sweetheart with absolutely zero ulterior motives and possibly the only brain cell in the entire Gotham City Police Department. he is literally Just Some Guy with hamfisted autism coding and a fondness for riddles who regularly gets dismissed and bullied by his colleagues, all of whom I wish would die in a fire (except for maybe Harvey Bullock because he's really the only man bringing any kind of eye candy to this show, but we're not here to talk about that).

what I'm getting at here is that the writers had a really great opportunity to spend a few seasons showing us how life in Gotham gradually wore down a man who was one a friendly and law-abiding colleague of Jim Gordon's into a little freak in spandex who cannot stop trying to one-up a man dressed as a bat. he actually could have been a compelling foil to Jimothy, whose whole deal is that he's somehow managed to remain The Only Honest Cop In Gotham despite years of horseshit; building on the relationship between the two of them and exploring how their paths eventually diverge could have been really cool and yes, I will be drawing on that in my posthumous script doctor.

as long as we're talking about the Riddler and basically everyone else in the show sans Selina (and... sort of Poison Ivy, idk, I don't like the in-universe age lift and I don't want to contemplate it too much) I think it's stupid that Gotham is basically setting up a universe where all of Batman's iconic enemies are actually more like a bunch of middle aged assholes that Gordon already has decade-old beef with. it's dumb but it's also what I have to work with because if we tweak things any further to make Bruce and all of his future rogues teenagers together I think we're just remaking Riverdale.

sorry we got a little lost in the weeds there, I wasn't originally planning on making that and I don't want to admit how much time I wasted on it. anyway after a little "oh boohoo I'm just a poor little guy I can't believe I did murders" Ed's pretty much straight to bugfuck crazy murdertown with every other villain on this show. everybody on Gotham is like two seconds away from committing homicide at all times except for MAYBE Bruce; pretty much every recurring antagonist is a kill-happy maniac and most of the one-off villains of the week are as well. even the Penguin gaslight gatekeep girlbosses his way through a truly staggering number of people in the first half dozen episodes alone. what I'm getting at here is that dropkicking the Riddler straight into the same mold isn't just ableist or lazy - it's also the very worst thing that writing can be, which is FUCKING BORING. what if, god forbid, we had one rogue bringing a different kind of sauce to the party? in this essay I will -

season one: my pitch here is actually so simple, because I literally just want to keep Ed's characterization the same for the entire season. no abrupt slip and slide into stabbing and/or choking people to death, just a weird little dude who's around and good at his job and has a little mug with a question mark on it. he shows up once an episode for two minutes to crack the case wide open and tell a riddle and the remind the audience that he's around. "yep, that's the Riddler," they'll say. "no need to give him a violent split personality, I know where this is going and I am indeed capable of waiting for that payoff."

season two: now at this point you might be saying "Makenzie wait - is your pitch going to assume that the original storyline of Gotham is otherwise proceeding as it did otherwise? because that's going to get pretty impossible pretty fast if the Riddler has a drastically different personality/role in the show." yeah hey listen man. listen. I don't give a shit about what actually happens in the show. I give a shit about the Riddler. don't ask about this again. this all takes place in an AU where Gotham is a competently written show; I know that's sort of a stretch but bear with me.

anyway season two is when we can start getting some cracks in Riddleboy's chipper little exterior but for god's sake, let's deploy a little subtlety. probably he needs to start getting bullied more - possibly because he's notably friendly with Jim and easier to bully than Bullock, Jim's only other friend. anyway, this is how Ed learns that sometimes fucking people over is okay, actually. nothing drastic, just manipulating evidence here and there to ruin the day (and then career) of some of the biggest assholes in the department and bolster his faves (Jim). I cannot emphasize enough that the first half of the season has to be about this man realizing that most of his coworkers are VERY DUMB and EXTREMELY EASY TO MISLEAD.

come the second half of season 2 we get to see him getting a little too cocky, which will ultimately lead to his downfall. tl;dr being smarter than everyone is fun but still doesn't solve the problem of nobody else noticing or caring that he's smarter than them, and it's really starting to rankle. this will be the point when Ed upgrades to like. full sending his own boss cut-up magazine ransom notes and shit making demands to try and steer the GCPD more efficiently. there are, obviously, subtle little riddles embedded in these letters, but Gordon is the only one who will notice because Gordon's the protagonist and gets to notice things. this will end in a big confrontation, whatever, he's not going to turn Ed in because he believes Ed was genuinely acting in the interest of flushing out dirty cops, but he's also a little bitch so he IS going to tell Ed that he'll turn him in if Ed doesn't resign. Ed goes quietly and with a frankly unsettling amount of glee that someone was finally smart enough to solve one of his little puzzles. personally I love when the Riddler won't really look at or acknowledge anyone who won't play his silly little games I think that's so fun of him.

season three: the first half of season three is actually by far the most fun for me because it involves Ed a.) doing the Riddler thing where he tries to be a private detective for a while and b.) getting mercilessly bullied by all of Gotham city for a bit. you can fill in the specifics of the goofs yourself but suffice to say he's just a plucky little guy investigating some weird ass shit and still getting dumped on a lot in the process. our boy is going to have to learn to get a little unscrupulous.

it's vital that during this half of the season Jim comes to him at least a couple of times to ask for input that frankly none of the useless sadsacks at the GCPD are qualified to provide now that Ed's gone, because they're all doing the equivalent of that John Mulaney bit where they look at a corpse and go "ew! clean it up!" instead of gathering anything useful in the way of evidence. for some reason that I can't QUITE put my finger on it seems important to establish that Jim Gordon is willing to work alongside people who are operating a bit outside the law as long as he believes their intentions are good. and listen - Ed will genuinely help him! but he is also absolutely going home and idly jotting down notes for how he'd get away with exactly the crimes he helped solve.

the second half of season three involves him getting nabbed by Someone and pretty much extorted into helping them work against the GCPD on account of being a former employee who knows exactly how they investigate. what ensues is a series of crime scenes that have an abundance of fake evidence designed to lead the cops in circles that go nowhere - UNLESS you piece together some extremely abstract hints being hidden there, because Ed is sincerely making an effort to alert his old GCPD chums to what's going on. except, oh no, the stress of being held hostage is getting to him and he is SORT OF starting to enjoy how good he is at this and also beating his head against the wall in frustration over how fucking stupid literally every single one of his former colleagues is. he'll get rescued (by Jim) by the end of the season but god will he be bitter by then.

also I said he was being forced to work for Someone and it truly could be anyone in this horseass show but like. come on. it's Penguin. the rest of canon can go to hell but it's so important to me that Penguin still wants to fuck the Riddler so bad it makes him look stupid. it's just hands down the funniest thing that happens in all of Gotham and I wouldn't change it for the world.

season four: alright so Eddie boy starts this season trying to go to therapy about his whole kidnapping and probably PTSD thing but we the audience will realize very quickly that he's getting twitchy and is just purposefully playing with like. MULTIPLE different therapists and giving them all wildly different information to see if he can get each of them to give him different diagnoses. he has absolutely no idea why he's doing this except that it's fun and he evidently can. this man is living on the knife edge he's so sweaty and gross and he wants to do crime again SO bad and is really running out of reasons why he shouldn't.

if this show were written by people I could trust I'd say we could actually do a really thrilling mental health(TM) storyline here focusing in on Ed getting increasingly manipulative and ruled by compulsive behavior. I'd say the crux of his arc in the first half of the season is Jim convincing Ed to check himself in to some kind of mental health facility for his own wellbeing - probably Arkham, since it seems to somehow be the only mental health facility in Gotham despite the fact that it appears to be patterned on ghoulish 19th century sanitariums more than anything. anyway, this lasts approximately one day before Ed disappears from the facility and leaves an elaborate riddle behind, thus ending his arc for the first half of the season.

second half starts as a straight up revenge plot against Penguin because I love when these awful little homos fight with each other, but Gotham being Gotham I think a bit of an emotional roller coaster can ensue. Penguin can definitely convince Ed to ease off and work with him as more of a partner for a bit, but I still want this Riddler to be a murder lite contrast to most of the other villains in the cast so I think that will be the point of contention that ultimately drives them apart. the Penguin CANNOT stop lethally girlbossing; it's his first love.

anyway after that Ed's just fucking with the GCPD for shits and giggles because fuck 'em, am I right? he's definitely got the whole question mark suit Look going by this point; hanging out with the Penguin for too long changes a man.

season five: god I don't even know; there were only 12 episodes and one of them was for the flash forward. he tells some shitty riddles and probably gives Gordon one final helping hand but in a way that benefits him, firmly securing his status as "sometimes useful, always a bastard." all that really matters this still happens to him. this is the last we see of him, dangling next to Robin Lord Taylor in just the least convincing fake gut I've ever seen in god's green earth.

anyway sorry this got so long I'm genuinely appalled and disgusted with myself. I have problems!

#gotham time

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superrman · 4 years

Text

I got a couple asks about my reply to an ask where I said that I acknowledge cop propaganda in procedural’s, and believe that everyone falls for it, while still acknowledging that I have enjoyed those shows. More than one ask said they are fully aware of the propaganda and so they can still watch those said shows, this is something I want to expand on because No one is above falling for propaganda.

I have loved and watched cop shows since I was 12, and I also have studied propaganda academically for half a decade, and that is why I can say with certainty you have internalized and fallen for propaganda within cop shows.

It is important to note that cop shows are designed with the aid of professional police for this exact purpose, they are insanely important to the normalization of behaviours of police, and justifying their actions, because you as an audience emotionally connect with the characters.

There are many things that have circulated around tumblr that have acknowledged certain forms of propaganda - the continuous use of violence, in a way that claims that the police must in many cases resort to violence, Trevor Noah did a great small clip showing how many cop shows do this. On top of that the villainization of internal affairs and the entire defence system, claiming public defenders are moronic and don’t defend their clients well, which in turn makes people afraid to turn to public defenders, which in turn results in people not asking for a lawyer, and at the same time paint defence attorneys as evil as well, and an impediment to justice which makes people dislike lawyers in general.

These are all important functions of the propaganda system as it justifies many actions of cops, but there are so many layers of propaganda, with hundreds of cop shows, all with police consultants, all employing underhanded tactics and specific messaging impacts you, below is a small list of things I either personally have internalized or know people have internalized. In brackets I mention just a couple shows I have seen this on, keep in mind many shows do this and they all tend to overlap

1. We as a society all agree that murder is wrong, but how many times in a cop show have you rooted for the police to get away with murder? How many times has the protagonist killed someone for personal reasons? They may find a way to kill said individual in the line of duty and that is legal, and or in many cases personally hunt them down and commit murder, and then the story line is about them getting away with murder, but at the same time many story lines in the same series say no one has a justifiable reason for murder, and they may even arrest someone for the same reason as they killed someone.

This teaches the audience that you can’t kill for abuse, country, cause, or revenge, but the police can and should kill, and if they do kill it was only for a valid reason

(NCIS, NCIS LA, The Mentalist)

2. The ‘red tape’ and intense scrutiny of police shootings is the worst, and harmful for the police, in general the scrutiny of all of the measures meant to prevent police violence and harassment of citizens is hindering the police. How many shows have you watched where the main character scoffs at the idea of mandatory counselling post a shooting, or is angry by the idea of having to justify why they took a shot and killed a man

(Rookie Blue, Cold Case, Hawaii 5-0)

3. The police are underpaid and lack the funds for the necessary policing measures. This one in particular I internalized to the extreme, I have always held the false assumption that police are underfunded like all of the other services they equate themselves too - but the police departments have more than enough funds as the protests have revealed. Yet, every cop show depicts a scene of complaining about budget cuts, lack of funds, cannot pursue a case because of budget cuts. On top of that any cop that gets caught stealing is justified because if he was paid fairly, he wouldn’t have to do that.

(Castle, Lucifer, Brooklyn Nine Nine)

4. The police can’t save ‘everyone’ in the context of the most vulnerable of society drug addicts, sex workers, the mentality ill, the sad reality is that some people ‘don’t want help’ - it says societal problems are unsolvable not that the police are not qualified or effective in solving society problems but even then there is a plucky do good cop not yet jaded that will try and try to save people, but eventually have to come to a hard realization you can’t save everyone

(Perception, Criminal Minds, Law and Order SVU)

5. The police always work with experts in the field, have the best technology and moreover, experts will want to work tirelessly for the police or the police themselves are geniuses- this is not the case, in fact in many cases police incompetence and ignoring experts leads to false convictions

(Bones, Rizzoli & Isles, all the CSI, Criminal Minds)

But the most malicious form of propaganda is the way in which police procedurals acknowledge the real world political climate and use the criticism as a way to bolster the police, by this I mean, so many cop shows will have an episode of focusing on a corrupt cop, or a civil rights activist wrongfully arrested, wrongful conviction in general, and the narrative will show outrage throughout the system, cops all banning together to undo this injustice, but with enough resistance from some bad apples to make it seem as if they acknowledge the system is not fully functional but reinforces to the audience that many cops can and do fight the system to get the wrongfully accused out of prison, to protect civil liberties and that cops do care and will willingly fight their own to do it .

Moreover, this is shown in the context of the importance of police brotherhood. Being a cop is always more than a job it’s a lifestyle, you can’t stop being a cop, and it’s a part of your identity, so its extra heroic that the protagonist challenged the corrupt cop, it’s as if he or she turned on his own family to do what is right.

There are always episodes about going after the rich and politically connected and how no matter what the protagonist will do what’s right and fight against the system to get justice for a poor, or poc , or down on their luck victim, it teaches us that even though in the news cops might not be able to stop all of the big evil rich people, Kate Beckett or Jake Peralta is out their fighting the fight, trying to take on corporations, it teaches us to go on faith that the police are separate from the corrupt system, and will try to take on politicians and corporations rather than the reality of them working for those same people

Finally, so many cop shows have minorities and women leading the charge to challenge the old guard, usually with the new era of white men, that laugh at the police brutality and incompetence of older generations. It’s hard to ignore the damage the police have done, but every show simply disregards this with a change in the vanguard, newer cops are immune to racism, classicism and agree older cops used to break the rules and where more corrupt but now that isn’t the case. It’s meant to undermine all of the arguments against police, think about how many people agree that the police during the civil rights movement of the 1960s were bad, or the police that co-operated with drug dealers were terrible but no more, cops now are much more ethical.

Propaganda is dangerous, because it is continuous and repetitive, it is subtle and seeps into your life, you internalize things because we all consume media for enjoyment not to subject it to academic rigour, and that's how they get you to sympathize and feel for cops, we constantly watch stories of brave souls putting their lives on the line for us, and of course we want to believe that this is a real life story and reflective of most cops, but we need to realize now that this is not the case in reality, and its not just a few bad apples, but a system that is broken beyond repair, who relied on the entertainment industry to spread and maintain the false face of the police industry to avoid and undermine criticism.

Just remember No one is above falling for propaganda

#police brutality #cop propaganda #propaganda #the most dangerous cop shows are the progressive ones

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gagmebucky · 3 years

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(please DONT reblog this post — the only way for me to justify even asking for this is for the people who’ve read and enjoyed my works to be given the option to donate if they feel anything they’ve read is worth something monetarily.)

okay 😭 my pride is one stubborn bitch so ive never wanted to make a post like this but 😅 the situation is getting serious not only financially but mentally as well! in july, my oldest cat passed away. i had paid $3000 in care credit/discover/deserve credit cards for an operation that was supposed to save his life but the next day the vet told us that he was too far gone and had to be put down anyway.

here’s a picture of my little baby, whitey, who had blessed my life every single day since he first came into my life:

i cannot express in words what he meant to me and the blessing it was to be able to have him and be graced with his love and attention. he was strong, smart and brave. he was sweet and protective, and i know where ever he’s gone, he’s getting the royal treatment because if anyone deserves it, he does. i can’t count the times he’s saved my life or my family’s life. it’s been months since he passed and i still can’t believe i won’t be able to hear his meow, see him, or feel him purr or just pet him. and i know no matter how much i cry, beg, pray or plead ill never get to to it again.

not going to lie it was very difficult writing that - feels like there’s a hot poker being stabbed into my check but i have to state that i fully understand and accept that this was my decision to do and thereby the debt acquired ultimately falls on me. i am currently working in order to pay that debt off but the pay isn’t much and i still have to pay bills for my parents and i’m sort’ve drowning in it. so if you have any spare money or anything like that, i would be beyond appreciative! please don’t feel any pressure or obligation to donate!

here’s the link to the gofundme, if you’re interesting in donating. alternatively if you want exclusive writing — a multi chaptered fic with 20 chapters and over 100k+ words and three one shots and deleted fics/drabbles — you subscribe to my patreon for an one time fee of $5 dollars!

#this shit hurts so bad #it's been months and i still breakdown every time #every bad thing i ever experienced he was there #i still pour a bowl of food for him whenever i feed our other cats #he was my heart and ever since hes been gone ive just felt hollow #the morning we had to put him down and got to say our goodbyes the way he meowed and clung to me my mom and dad was like #'it's okay i'm gonna be okay' the look on his face #i am so sorry for putting this all in the tags but it hurts so bad

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gffa · 3 years

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I know I've brought this up before, but how much of the fandom reception of the prequels do you think stemmed from the genre dissonance? That the prequels, genre-wise, are closer to high fantasy, while the OT is more an adventure/space western/underdog triumph story.

The prequels also have elements more reminiscent of a romantic period/court drama/Shakespearean tragedy, while if you consider the underdog angle of the OT, the OT also seems kinda similar to some of those inspirational movies about sports teams or something, or a shonen anime with the "Power of Friendship".

I'm just saying, these are rather disparate genres that tend to attract different demographics of people.

And not many people tend to be... great about understanding why they don't like something, much less putting it into words, or understanding that they can dislike something without that something being actually bad. (For example, instead of "I just don't really like [thing]," the usual statement is something along the lines of "[thing] absolutely sucks.")

So the usual response is trying to find (and gather) solidarity while putting down or being condescending towards any dissent, and trying to justify their own dislike. (*gestures vaguely towards pineapple on pizza*)

And historically, it's not uncommon for people to... react strongly towards things they find... different or abnormal, which they judge based on themselves, their emotional response to something, and what they're used to.

Looking at kids, this behavior is... fairly normal. "You're weird," "ew, why do you like that, that's gross," "that's stupid," and so on. A lot of kids/teens/young adults also get defensive really easily. And let's face it--adults are basically just older, taller kids who've had to deal with more of life.

(To be honest, I also get defensive really easily. A lot of people do, and it's... it's normal. The defensive reaction can be lashing out, denial, or just being passive-aggressive or staying silent and tuning it out or mentally rolling your eyes at it. But I'm trying to work on it, because just because it's normal doesn't mean it's a good reaction.)

So, what I'm wondering is whether some fans dislike the prequels simply because it's a different genre...

...but instead of realizing that, they try to defend and justify their dislike by pointing fingers and criticizing whatever stood out or looked different from the OT or cherry-picking details/taking things out of context or making negative conflations (that can be refuted).

Because it's not about logic, it's about how they feel. And people want to feel justified and validated, and we want to feel like we're right and we enjoy staying in our comfort zones. So... yeah. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

LOL, okay, this response is going to be really disjointed because I went off in like a dozen different tangents and even then it's not enough to cover everything, so just kind of read this in a Scattered Thoughts Nerd kind of tone, where I'm staring off into the distance because Navel Gazing Gets Me Going Sometimes. 😂 In my experience, it's sort of a mix. I don't hang around a lot of people who dislike the prequels (in the sense of dismissing them/not being fannish about them) because, well, that's the heart of my interest in Star Wars, so our areas of interest basically don't really overlap that much, so I don't have a chance to talk to a lot of people and find out their reasons or even how they dislike the prequels, in the bigger trends of fandom. I do think there's an element of what you're talking about, that sometimes people can't just dislike things because it's not their genre of choice, that's absolutely a part of it. Mostly because that's how a lot of people react to anything they don't like (and it's something I and literally everyone else has to work on), there has to be a reason for it that it's objectively bad and, like, I have experienced a lot of people getting mad because I like something in a different way than they do. And I don't mean just in Star Wars fandom, but in almost any given fandom--if someone likes something in a way someone else doesn't, if they talk loudly about it (even within their own space), then there's always a contingent of people who have to find a reason why that person is objectively wrong (or even try to make them morally wrong), rather than just shrugging and going, "We see things differently, my view on things doesn't overwrite theirs and their view on things doesn't overwrite mine." It gets more complicated in instances where fandom attitudes genuinely can be hurtful, especially when they're overlapping into the way real people are treated, likes/dislikes don't 100% exist in a bubble, especially when it comes to queer fans, fans of color, disabled fans, mentally ill fans, etc. But that there are a lot of instances where fandom culture has always been--and is increasingly so--contentious and it's hard to chill out when someone is always screaming at you, when the atmosphere of the fandom is always so intense. Further, there's also an element of how fandom has always been--and also is increasingly so--about personal resonance, personal emotional investment, interpretation, and meaning. That sometimes we identify with something so deeply that we feel attacked when someone else likes or dislikes something we feel so strongly about, something that we feel is a reflection of ourselves, and I see a lot of that as well. And this, too, often crosses over into lines of how the context of how we treat characters can be reflections of how we treat real world people, but that there's no monolith here as well. For example: I make fun of Anakin, this angers some people, because how dare I not take this fictional victim 100% seriously, despite that I have repeatedly said that Anakin is the character I most identify with, that things I make fun of him for are ones that I resonate with personally. I'm not disrespecting mentally ill people, especially considering that Anakin is not bound to a single interpretation on this front--he is not canonically mentally ill, no matter how easy it is for us in fandom to map much of that onto his character or, in my case, feel that so much of what I see in him are things I struggle with myself. By and large, the majority of the people I see (at least on tumblr) who make fun of Anakin are doing so within the same vein, that they're being silly about him on things that they personally relate to. (My experiences on this are not universal, I cannot speak for the whole of even any one part of fandom, only my own sphere of experience, but this is what I've seen.) As always, it's fine if someone doesn't vibe with my style or they find that it's not their thing because they do take him more seriously, but that preference does not make my jokes

suddenly not have the context that I relate a lot to what I see in Anakin. In contrast, the way some of the fandom treats Mace or Finn isn't just personal all the time. Not liking their characters isn't inherently racist, but the way they're consistently, consistently treated sure as hell speaks to a larger pattern of racism in fandom and doesn't come without that context. It's the same with Rey--is there a huge vein of misogyny when it comes to her character? Abso-fucking-lutely there is. Things Luke and Anakin get a pass on, Rey is raked over the coals for. Is everyone who dislikes Rey a misogynist? Not even close. Some don't like her because Finn was used as a prop for her story. Some people don't like her because she got sucked into Kylo Ren's story too much. Some just don't care for the way she was written for other reasons. Some just don't vibe with her. It's fine. Nothing is a monolith. And to circle this back around to what you're talking about--it's hard to judge, both because no part of fandom is a monolith in their reactions, but also because we're only hearing from a selection of the fans. How do you know how many people who aren't fans of the prequels, who just don't care for them because it's not their genre, but just go about their day? You don't hear from a lot of them because they moved on to things they do like, so it seems like they must not exist--except, they do, and they're just out there doing things they like more. We only hear from the people who feel the need to tell others they dislike the prequels for this reason or that reason, some valid, some less valid, etc. Ultimately, I do think there's probably a fair amount of genre dissonance for why people dislike the prequels and channel that into "they're objectively bad" and get defensive when people like them and say they were great, but only because that's true of anything anywhere. But that it's only one small slice of the bigger picture (and there's a lot of stuff that I had to eschew in the writing of this response as well because it can be a pretty sprawling topic), where there are tons of reasons and reactions that people have, as well as they're perfectly free to dislike the prequels for whatever reason they do or don't have, it doesn't really affect my opinions, unless they're trying to shove it in my face or are being a dick to those who disagree with them.

#lumi.txt #idk how to tag this

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lorei-writes · 3 years

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Abuse in Fiction

I think I spoke of a related issue once already, but well, I do not mind repeating myself. In a way, I even enjoy it, I suppose. It’s mildly personal this time too, hm.

So, as some of you may know, I am of a strong belief that fiction should not be hopeless and that it is easy to write a story full of despair - and harder to undo all the harm that’s been done. However, I am also of belief that... My views never matter more than that of another person, and that we are all entitled to our own stances, morals and opinions, for at least as long as we do not enforce those on others. (For the record here, I do not consider hatred an opinion or standard of any type; another distinction that needs to be made: facts are not opinions).

As such, the following will be my opinions, and nothing more. Whether you agree with them or disagree - this is yours, not mine. I do not aim to convince anybody to see the world the way I do.

Well, where do I even start? One step at a time, I suppose.

Bad people do good things. & Good people do bad things.

You need knowledge to realise what is abusive.

Themes of abuse are not inherently harmful.

Gatekeeping requires proof.

What can I do?

A little bit personal something.

Bad people do good things & Good people do bad things

As alluring as it may be, the world cannot be split in neat categories of pure goodness and pure evil. What makes a person good? What makes them bad? Is the good one that who does not harm others? It is generally the definition of goodness I go by, and yet - it is not absolute.

What I’m trying to say is that, to try and split people into good-bad categories based on a single action is... Not really productive. It may be an error. It may be a result of something you are not aware of. And, yes, it may turn out they are indeed not a “good person”, whichever definition you go by - but it also may not.

We are talking about fiction here, however. Not killing, not abusing somebody yourself, but an act of writing about it. If it is tagged appropriately - then who is being hurt? If it is tagged, the person who read it consented to it in the first place. They could have withdrawn. If it is not tagged... Then, it brings me to my second point.

You need knowledge to realise what is abusive.

I would love to see a world in which every single person is educated and capable of recognising different forms of abuse. However, we do not live in such a world. We live in one where access to sex education is still limited in plenty places, where access to mental health services may be restricted, where mental illness is sometimes still a cultural taboo, where humans are being trafficked, abused in all form, dehumanised, enslaved, all to the benefit of rich countries. We do not live in an ideal world, so to require people to act in ideal ways? I consider it ludicrous.

Plenty cultures around the world glamourise abuse - or so it is at least in Europe. What books are best-sellers? 50 Shades of Grey. 365 Days was somewhat big too. If a person cannot get education from a reliable source, if the culture perpetuates the belief that a form of abuse is not in fact abusive, or what is arguably worse, is well-deserved, then how will they know it is in fact hurtful?

You must realise that, even for victims of abuse, it may take decades to learn why they were hurting, to realise that something was in fact wrong. You must realise those people may include themes of abuse in their work thinking that this is how it just is.

Is it perpetuating the harmful norm? It is.

But are they doing it consciously? Or is it the by-product of their culture? And if so, is it their fault?

Is ostracising them and calling them morally wrong doing anything to counter the hurtful norm? Do we need to abandon a topic completely, as some approaches to it may be hurtful? Or do we need to deconstruct it? To realise what beliefs linger behind the words?

Themes of abuse are not inherently harmful.

Abuse victims do not always get their feelings validated. Not only that, they may lack a safe space to share their experiences in any form at all. Fiction provides such an outlet.

Are all depictions of abuse good? Well, of course, no. Romanticising abuse justifies it. It normalises it. We should strive not to ever include such a thing in a work. Many hurtful beliefs can be transferred through fiction - “abuse made them stronger”, “abuse made them kinder”, “once abused will turn into the abuser”, “if you were abused, you do not have a choice but to abuse”, “a parent and child always have some magical bond tying them together”. The list goes on and on. Some people use it as a shock factor, something that does not have any lasting and realistic influence over the characters - and that, in my opinion, is disrespectful.

However, if one were to ban abuse from fiction, they would have to cut out all the scenes calling out abuse for what it is. They would have to cut out hopeful stories, to take away from what may lead somebody to realise they are not treated appropriately. People learn through stories too - and some use fiction to process the issues they faced.

Gatekeeping requires proof.

As you might have noticed, I spoke about how themes of abuse resonate with abuse survivors themselves. Of course, some will not need it. Some will avoid the topic completely.

But, the question is: so perhaps, only abuse survivors should be entitled to writing about abuse?

Well... No. First, it requires proof. Then, it would require some sort of grading system - and that by itself is so dehumanising and humiliating I do not think I have to explain it. Also, the fact that somebody survived abuse does not mean they worked through all the toxicity it brought upon them and that they are capable of not repeating the hurtful messages.

Some people survived abuse and they are not aware of it. Does it make them a bad, hideous person if they include themes of what they considered normal in their work? Or perhaps they do not view it as ordinary, but cannot see a reflection of that in their own situation? Are they morally detestable? Or are they a victim?

What can I do?

Does it mean you should approve all depictions of abuse in fiction? No. Absolutely not, never. It means you should be critical about it, and that stigmatising people does not solve the issue.

Be critical of what you read.

Educate yourself on what is and what is not abusive.

If your friend (or a person you feel comfortable pointing it out to) made something toxic seem romantic/normal - tell them. (It can be a rather emotional discussion, so really, make sure you can handle it).

Do your best not to romanticise abuse in your own work.

If you do choose to write about abuse, make sure to label it clearly.

If it is a NSFW type of content, and the characters are acting out a scenario - show that it is a scenario played out between two consenting adults, and that it can and it will end the moment one of them opts out. If it is not consensual and was not meant to be consensual, show it for what it is - abuse.

Educate yourself, and if possible others, on what is and is not appropriate.

And, if you interacted with a piece of media that bothered you personally:

Block the author of it. Do not interact with the rest of their work.

If it is not labelled appropriately, do tell your friends of it. Warn them.

If you enjoy other works by the author and still want to follow them - ask them to label abuse. They may do it, they may not do it. Decide whether you still want to follow them afterwards.

A little bit personal something.

Content Warnings: discussion of abuse, domestic abuse, suicide mentions, self-harm, rape

Well, I never hid the fact that I lived through domestic abuse. There are authors in our fandom whose works I avoid specifically because of their poor handling of themes of abuse at the hands of a parent.

It took me 15 years to find words to describe my pain. I did not know I was abused for the majority of the time it happened. It was my reality - it was just how the world functioned. Did it spill into my early writing? Yes. But not in the ways you would have expected. My characters were not abusive themselves. They idealised suicide. They would hurt themselves, although not with blades or anything of the like - and at the time, I did not know it was self-harm either. In the plot, they were being abused, and they would come out of it victorious.

I am comfortable saying this. But somebody may not be. They may not know yet.

This post was sparked by a person calling people who write rape “sick in the head” (ugh, stigmatisation of mentally ill people aside, at least this time, okay?). I do not condone romanticising rape. It is disgusting, as any form of abuse. I blocked authors who did not label it and thus exposed me to sensitive content without my consent. I did not go through it and I do not wish for anybody to go through it. However, the post lacked this sort of nuance. It was about the entirety of it, however it was handled.

I do not know why somebody writes it. I do not think I have the right to demand an answer to that. I do not have the right to decide who was hurt “bad enough” (as if something like so existed in the first place) to touch the subject.

I also do not want to stigmatise people who did not get proper education on the matter. How many of them were raped and did not know that lack of consent equals rape? How many of them realised or will realise it after years? How many were failed by their education system, were victims to the times they were born in, to the culture?

Because, remember, to plenty people rape is something that happens in the black alley, at hands of a stranger. Not something done by their partner, when they hope to just get done with the thing and move on - after all, it happened to them. And said partner is not a bad person, so how could he do something bad?

I cannot say whether a person is processing something. I cannot say whether a person consumed so much of modern popular media and lacks knowledge and experience necessary to understand that scenes depicted in it are in fact ABUSE. Sometimes I am near stating that media almost conditions us to accept some forms of abuse as normal.

What I can say is that, well, if you make writing about one type of abuse a taboo, another one may follow.

I do not think this approach answers the problem of why do multiple people, across different fandoms and countries, perceive something abusive as “not that bad”, even bordering appropriate. I do not think that stigmatising the people who write such things is going to change much. It will certainly not target the ones who need education.

And well, it removes the opportunities to critically approach the matter. I know it is hard. But people need to understand why certain narrative choices are harmful and hurtful, not just be presented with “writing about abuse is evil”. We still need spaces to safely discuss abuse.

People need to understand why something is bad, not just label it as bad and be done with it.

#lorei spoke

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gwynpool · 3 years

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it’s 2AM and i just finished Rule of Wolves (spoilers definitely up ahead)

first, to inform everyone, i read the spoilers when it got leaked in twitter cuz i can’t help myself. (it’s a sickness, i know) i think this is important since it definitely influenced my perspective upon reading the book. also, this is my first time being early in a party so yay me! going in ROW was easy for me because i started King of Scars the day before book 2’s actual release date so everything’s fresh.

secondly, this is really long so i’m sorry. i just have a lot of feelings and need to write it all down. on with the rant.

King of Scars was wonderful to me since it gave me my favorite Shadow and Bone character and the girl who i used to hate for being a mean girl but who I now admire with every ounce of my being. It also introduced a new ship that I am now obsessed with and is ruling besides my love for Jude&Cardan. Not to mention, it gave us Nina, whom though i’m not entirely a fan of due to all my love focusing on Kaz and Inej, allowed the connection between Shadow&Bone with SixofCrows.

Moving on, ROW was a ride and whirlwind of emotions. unfortunately, it wasn’t always the best kind.

I love the fantasy elements of it (tho it was a huge leap especially with the saints power thingy) and the politics because i am a sucker for scheming and stealing thrones.

the zoyalai teasing and angst was painful but in the best way since slowburn is what keeps me going.

nina finding comfort (and attraction, apparently) from hanne made my heart flutter because i haven’t gotten over matthias but this allowed a sort of closure and next chapter for our waffle-loving queen.

the promised wedding by leigh wasn’t what i expected but i’m not complaining since david&genya deserved nothing but happiness.

almost everything seems going well (aside from the fact that aleksander was ressurected apparently)and then everything crashes and burns and i just have to wonder why?

so the promised funeral alongside the wedding one, immediately comes after two? three? chapters as they were attacked during the afterparty of the wedding. and guess what? leigh killed the fcking groom.

the thing is i already knew he was going to die (with the spoilers and all) but i did not expect it to come immediately after the freaking wedding. not even halfway through the book!

being spoiled, i think, took most of the pain from the event but it doesn’t lessen the fact that it was completely unnecessary??? like though the characters grieved, nothing much was affected from his death? also, don’t talk to me about the character development for the survivors from this tragic event because there. was. absolutely. NONE.

and then we have the fricking darling ressurected. i love him in the first book of the grishaverse though i knew he was still a villain, don’t get me wrong. and my heart ached but was also relieved with his death in the third. he also inspired one of my all-time favorite fantasy villain(antihero?) in the form of Adelina Amouteru in the Young Elites series.

Ceased to be a Darklina fan and am now shipping Aleksander with Adelina because their power tho? like clings to like and they are both imbued with unfathomable darkness. somebody write fics please.

but bringing him back was what for exactly? leigh bardugo preached on how toxic the darkling character was and how we really shouldn’t like him in terms of agreeing with his ideals and yada yada. and yet she brings him back because apparently, he’s the only one paying her bills.

his conversation with alina tho had me expecting some darklina crumbs with fan service on the side since the stans were all raving about it on twitter *vomiting noises from toxicity* but i was surprised since it just further reminded us of how he truly is a villain in his very core and would do anything to get what he wants. so all in all it wasn’t entirely awful and it actually made me like Mal a bit. (never was a fan of him but that’s my issue, not the character’s)

setting aside the darkling issue a bit, the POV from Mayu was skippable. i mean obviously it still needs to be read for the Shu politics and the khergud existence but it just made me want to go to the next pov. Same goes for the “the monk’s” POV since you all know how i feel about him and the cult with it’s assembly and shit ended up also being unnecessary towards the end. honestly, i could do without the journey of the starless saint and his cult.

i truly enjoyed the fjerdan plot to my surprise and i like how nina kind of went through the last of us 2 circle of hate journey. it was definitely difficult knowing her pain and all that she went through and still choosing to be the better person. and yet, i can’t help but be more proud of her development. also, the supposed death of hanne got me going for a second and was actually ready to storm leigh’s home to fix her mistake. thank god it was plot twist. that’s all i have to say on the nina POV because i don’t wanna ruin my good feeling on this.

the crows cameo gave us a mini heist and it just made me miss reading their adventures. also the suli scene tugged at my heart.

imma skip zoya’s transformation but it utterly made me feel amazing and i have never been more glad that she’s kind of overpowered. she deserves it so fck all them haters. you can choke.

nikolai’s revelation and decision for the ravkan throne was not all that surprising, even without my knowledge of the spoilers. i honestly had a feeling that he was always his best self when he was strumhond and he only chose to fulfill the duties of the king because at that time, there was no other choice. so him giving up the throne to his beloved soldier, summoner and saint was a quite satisfying choice of route. there has been some others who would contest nikolai’s decision to step down as something unnecessary in the grand scheme of things but i would stand by my belief that nikolai made the best choice for ravka and for himself. not to say that i didn’t want to see both the queen and king side by side ruling but what are fanfictions for?

zoyalai is canon and endgame. finally. i can die now.

now the last two chapters was a toss up. for the first one was the darkling’s sacrifice. okay, so i was also spoiled by this from twitter but when i was reading the book, i keep expecting it to be brought up and it wasn’t. so i honestly thought that maybe that spoiler was a prank. lo and behold it was not and it wasn’t until the very last end. so the buildup was goddamn awful. the whole concept of the thorn wood and sort of atlas moment was just no. like you’re just springing this up now? when we’re supposed to be tying up loose ends but making sure it had history and buildup to well, back it up.

also leigh outright writing genya saying it was not a redemption for the darkling and him being unapologetic about his crimes (basically being a truly evil asshole) doesn’t remove the fact that it still comes off as a redemption arc especially with what is now the synopsis of SOC 3 but ill get to that. he still was the one who did a heroic deed and that fucks me up because it was just devastating to me after making peace with his end in ruin and rising. not because i was hurt that he died yet again boohoo but because it kind of invalidates everything that alina, genya, zoya and countless other victims went through.

on a side note, the darling stans on twitter who keeps defending his actions, i would really advise you to reflect on your decisions cuz it is honestly unhealthy. also, you lot talking smack about nikolai and zoya refusing to sacrifice their lives? stop twisting the story to suit your toxic admiration, nikolai was even first to offer up his life and would do so if it was actually possible. so just go hide in your darkling cocoon and stop hating on other characters to justify your favored aleksander.

the very last chapter aka coronation was good because it gave us inej ghafa cameo as captain of her ship and bonding with our resident privateer and also genya, alina and zoya bonding. but it was bad because apparently the darkling chronicles is still not over and now we’re supposed to grant him death like that’s going to make everything okay? i know forgiveness and breaking the circle of hate and revenge is a huge theme in this duology but honestly, this is just too extreme. with nina it was understandable and the people she hated were born of twisted mindset and circumstances but the darkling? hahahah no. he is a literal immortal who was delusional so now that he’s paying for his crimes, you want to allow him death because you have nightmares? zoya, goddamit no! same to you genya and alina. and so this will be the plot for the third six of crows? why can’t we just stop making this about him. now he gunna steal kaz’s thunder? over my dead body.

in the end, i gave this book 4 stars in goodreads because if i ignore the darkling plot, it was a really good use of politics and fantasy merging in a storyline. i can’t fault leigh for choosing to do this since it’s still her book so i definitely don’t have a right to dictate what i expected from this. also, i have a half a mind to believe that she fell in love with ben barnes and had him in mind writing this so i really cannot blame her because i have been under that man’s charms since prince caspian came out. the spoilers i read made me more open in reading this (backwards thinking but eh that’s how i roll) so i’m not at all crushed by what transpired. it was just weird and was lackluster in its attempt to give ravka some sort of peace. frankly, i just want to read the third six of crows book to maybe find some sort of calm in all this craziness and also delve in some zoyalai fanfiction because it was a long time coming.

shameless promotion but if you guys want to check out my nikolai duology spotify playlist, here’s the link:

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lafirmament · 4 years

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DEAD ROSES.

twisted wonderland, (overblot) riddle rosehearts.

yandere, abuse, malnourishment, gas-lighting, drugging mention, sadism, power differences

dedicated to @yandere-romanticaa

“... Looks like this little individual needs a quick refresher on the new, exciting laws I laid out for a stubborn, vile mutt like you, [Surname]. You agree, don’t you?”

Riddle’s breathy grins grows even more sinister by each spurred word. The more he muses over the awaited punishment to pair off with your improper deeds that moment, the more cruel the sadistic glint in his ruby, lustrous eyes gets. You’re such a pest, right below the very dirt under his endowed feet. Playing off the charade of a displeased ruler when he’s up high in the clouds discovering another fault in your stupid actions. You see the way he sneers at his lackeys every minute of the day to pass the time, it’s no surprise that you too, are getting scolded for the poor performance you display daily for him.

How pitiful.

Clumsy when it comes to coordination, deficient listening skills, unable to do the mundane of things - you have to be told to do it right rigorously in order for you to actually take the time to fix your shitty mistakes.

And despite every harsh word he’s inflicted upon you, you’re still his favorite (one to belittle) judging by the after care he bestows upon you after the harsh discipline ... or is it being provided just to give you some more false hope to cling onto as you’re being pulled deeper into a wonderland full of despair? Whatever the case may be, you’d have a hard time speaking up against the prefect, knowing full well it would’ve been “off with your tongue !” as consequence.

All everyone knows, including you, is that he thoroughly enjoys reprimanding wrongdoers, relishing every second of their misery.

... But fair not, do not get this treatment twisted one bit, this is to shape you into a better ... proper student. He is doing his part seriously as your beloved senior, showing you the welcoming ropes around the dormitory, Heartsbyul, even if it is a bit too constricting around your limbs. It is important to learn the appropriate way now than never. This is a method he has dealt with personally for his entire life, you’re getting the same bitterness he was forced to take since childhood - not allowed the warmth of a caretaker, the sweetness of a strawberry tart, and the welcoming arms of a home. What a callous joke.

All he knows is that this is working.

Why wouldn’t it be if this has been successful in his lineage for ages?

“I’ll go over them slower than usual, don’t want to overwork your brain ... you’re lucky I’m patient with you. Let’s get along well for sure now, yes? Now, where should we begin ...”

“Do not make me repeat after myself.”

There’s always heavy malice laced in his name when being whispered among the students, he knows this - and is quick to shut down said rumors by a single snap. Easy fix. But you on the other hand, don’t you dare say anything negative about him. It’s different when the person he supposedly loves, to speak of him like that. He may even consider actually cutting off your tongue if it comes to that. It won’t bother him much, he’ll still love you even if you cannot respond to his questions. Perhaps maybe he’ll love you even more?

Riddle reigns - and everyone abides, for his word holds the kingdom’s structure up after all. There is no ill intentions behind his crude actions … but that does not justify every single decision made. Because all choices are painfully hefty when at the hands of the Queen’s laws, there will be many storms and anguish brewing throughout the relationship - for you that is. Just know that the authority has always been him. You can question all you want as his loyal partner, be it known, the man will stick through his ruling no matter the consequences. Until someone proves him wrong, he guesses.

Long term dedication on changing his ways cannot reach his untamed heart. As do the rest, he kills mercilessly - precious and all. The love he has in store for you is frankly the wrong kind because he feels inclined to bring you down: your soul, your hopes, your dreams, everything shall all come crashing down along with the rest of the kingdoms. Everything, will soon come falling into place.

‘Accidents’ can be overlooked if it is the first time, there should be no reason for you to casually make a mistake another time. Was it because you were given no discipline? Is it because people do not learn until they are punished properly? Well that had to be the case, the others know better than to mess up in general. This is why you have to cherish those merciful words he bestows rarely upon you, and quickly fix up any errors.

“You must not take off that collar.”

Yes, the fact that you aren’t a magic user is already let known amongst everyone in this academy since day one - it is not difficult to lay out the principle that he is the one in control here. Everyone knows that, and you should too... if you treasured the silly thing you called, freedom. But can you really call it that when everything falls under his authority?

Still, you’re not getting away from wearing one of those collars. In fact, he has a personalized one made just for you that you should be wearing at all times. It’s just a little touch to let everyone know that you’re off-limits, a silent declaration of war on those who even dare try to approach something that is his - shall be met with a detrimental fate. If anyone is curious to know, well, they can try it for themselves. No one is technically stopping them from talking to you anyways. In fact, not far off to say Riddle wants someone to provoke him. He wants to prove how very wrong they are, and show you that you don’t want to involve anyone else in this mess, do you?

He doesn’t view you on his level. No, he doesn’t see anyone on the same level as his. You’re just much, much lower than the usual... which is strange if you are considered his favorite student. Not even the typical wrongdoers get this bad of a treatment, just you.

Dare bring the unfairness up, he’ll surprisingly answer without any hesitation - ignoring all the justifications of yours. “Because I feel like it.” Riddle doesn’t try to hide it, there’s no need to, and for you to carelessly ask him such question like that out of nowhere is already out of line.

“You are to take any punishment you deserve.”

There’s a reason why you don’t try to make it even worse by getting on his bad side, intentionally at least. When he’s enjoying your light suffering, the penalties are surprisingly much more tamed than when riddle is throwing a crazed fit at somebody’s disobedience. Times like that, is when he’s absolutely feral on making you feel worthless, disgusting, every unfavorable trait. This can range from starving you for up to a week, isolating you from everyone including him for god knows how long, and even drugging you with the treats Trey had baked and laced. They’re delicious in the beginning, yes, but then you slowly start to heat up and feel ... strange.

Everything starts to get hot. You’re getting restless, fidgety, panting, staring up at him dumbfounded, as if you were waiting for him to move. His gaze sweeps down to see your current state. A faint smirk tugs at the lips, the effects are working efficiently - and he only turns his attention away to talk with the others. The obvious desperation in your eyes and body, are deliciously divine - if only you acted affectionate like this sober, then maybe this whole post would’ve been altered drastically.

Does he help you out with this in the end? Most certainly not, he leaves your dependent self on the cold floor, deal with this incident yourself. Look where your misplaced actions have gotten you, and now you must face it head on... troublemakers, won’t get the justice they think they have merited.

But even then, those are tamed. The more you get stubborn, the more cruel the bastard gets. The frustration boiling deep within his soul, shall be solved in unethical ways, the pristine tears you shed, caused by riding crops, are much equally a desirable reward as your compliance.

“You aren’t going to say something after to let me know that you understand?”

You whimpered as the pressure on your stomach increases the farther he pushes down with his pricey shoes. The answer is already perched at the tip of your tongue, but you’re finding it hard to push it right out - feeling the penetrating glare of the ruler’s accompany the stinging pain from your abdomen, and you most certainly sense the piteous stares of the onlookers who are forced to watch this sudden display.

You are just a prime example of what happens when someone disobeys.

“I’m waiting.”

A snide comment, coming from yours truly.

You have to answer all sorts of inquiries from him within thirty seconds, or another law has been broken. It seems as if you’ve dragged the time way past the minimum, but he’s merciful enough to give you a second chance again. You think you have it worst amongst everyone, think again. You had so many opportunities to mend any faults, but you chose to gamble them away heedlessly - for exemption.

Exemption, oh, the thought of that always makes him crack up.

“Y-Yes...”

See, there’s an obvious improvement in your actions. Well, besides the obvious tremble in your voice as you gathered all the courage in your guts to answer his rhetorical question.

“A wise choice.”

Riddle’s laughs sound frightening empty. Why have you sighed in relief after his answer, you think you’ve just entered the safe zone... How desperate can you possibly be?

He was never done with you.

“Pleased, I say, but - you haven’t completely earned forgiveness. Why don’t you get on your bare knees, and beg for it all night? Because from what we both know, I still have yet to believe you that easily.”

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nyxravessnow · 4 years

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Rambly Patalliro stage review

Stage Patalliro 2021 Foggy London Airport Arc Review

Today I finally managed to see the delays of the first and last day of the new 2021 Patalliro stage.

Overall, I will rate this show as a 9 out of 10.

I don't know if I'm giddy just because I watched the show today and have been really looking forward to it, and especially since I didn't enjoy the last 2.5D show I was looking forward to I might be projecting a bit onto this show. But I did enjoy every second of this show and can’t wait to buy the dvd.

While there were things, I was very nervous about for this show, I was also very excited as a lot of actors I really love are in the show.

I just wanna say anything I say about negative fan reaction is of course not most fans. Most fans stayed quiet and just did what they wanted, I’m just talking about a few fans whose comments I have seen floating about.

I was very nervous about the hostility to the new cast which I felt was unwarranted. Obviously, this wasn’t from most fans but was just from a very small amount of them. Hostility to the company and how they handled the graduation of the previous cost and the handling of the bringing in of the new cast is completely justified. However, this new cast is full of people who truly love the show and were very excited to be in it and no one had seen them on stage as those characters and so I feel like hostility towards them was undue.

The main reason this made me nervous was that I was worried if the show was bad the director and the company would not be the ones blamed but the actors who merely were doing their best in roles they were cast in.

I am so glad to say that I believe the show was fantastic. I believe that they lived up to the legacy of the previous cast and have started a good new tradition for their next shows and any cast that follows them.

One thing that really shocked me but also spoke to me about how this show most likely wouldn’t have happened without a new cast, was Kato Ryo Crying out of happiness on the final day of the show. Kato Ryo is known for never breaking character and not breaking down on stage which shows how much this show means to him. He was truly happy to be on the stage performing as Patalliro again, and it did seem as if he had also bonded to this new cast as Dai instantly went to give him a hug which he returned. He spoke about how it was amazing they could make it to the final performance as he didn’t think they’d even make it to a first one. I believe it is not too far-fetched to say that he might be referring to the fact that Nelke and the 2.5d association mostly likely said that they would not continue the show with Tsune onboard. As before Kato Ryo said he would only continue the show if the cast didn’t change and that seemed like a serious change.

I have seen comments that Maaya-sensei didn’t like the new cast and that he was completely unaware of the change in casting which I would be very surprised by. 2.5d shows have to sign off for new shows with the creator of the original and also you could see that Maaya-sensei’s family had bonded the new cast greatly. Giving the show a standing ovation and kept waving to the cast on the final night.

I know the re cast is a very difficult topic for people who likes the old cast and don't want to see a new cost, for people who liked the old cast and are willing to see the new cast, for people who didn't see much of the old cast but excited for the new cast or for people who like the new actors coming in and so getting into Patalliro for the first time.

I believe that as long as you are not attacking anyone your thoughts and feelings are completely valid and if you only liked the show for the previous cast then you have every right to just ignore the new shows and just watch the three amazing instalments from the old cast. You are valid and I hope you have a lovely day/week and hope that this awful situation (covid and the such) isn’t being too bad to you.

In my opinion if this show was the result of the recast, and that if it hadn't happened we wouldn't have gotten another show, then I'm very glad it happened because I think this show was excellent and another fantastic instalment under the name of Patalliro stage. Under the cut I will include a spoilered review of the stage but before then I just wanted to say some of my basic thoughts for anyone who doesn't want to be spoiled for what is in the show.

Acting: All the acting was fantastic. There wasn't a single actor who I wasn't entranced by and I was enthralled and engaged the entire show. I think every actor performed their roles perfectly and to the best of their abilities.

Singing: Obviously the big stand out for singing in this show was the transgender actress Nakamura Ataru as she was hired for her singing voice, her being a professional singer. However, I think everybody performed extremely well. I continue to be a little frustrated with the use of recorded singing for everybody except for Ataru, as I believe the music they have on it is too loud and it makes it harder to hear a lot of the singers and I also feel it's not necessary to record the songs as all of them are professional actors who can definitely sing on stage. That being said, I fell in love with every single song in the show and thought they were all amazing.

Directing: I think a lot of very very wise decisions were made about this show. I was worried this show would either reflect too much on the previous cast or just not mention them at all and pretend it didn't happen. Luckily the stage did neither. I will get into more specifics and my spoiler review, but I think they handled it very well with having stuff for new fans, old fans and fans who would be irritated by seeing knew actors continue on jokes that previous actors started. In regards to other sides of the directing, I believe it was same as always, very good for the type of show it is. The comedy was very good but due to only having seen two shows I can't say how much was the directing and how much were the actors just being funny, because this is a very funny cast.

Casting: I believe every actor in this stage was perfect for their roles. This may be a controversial opinion but after seeing Dai and Yuuya act opposite each other I am very glad that Sana wasn’t brought back. They couldn't continue to have Tsune in the show as 2.5D does not have the kind of reputation yet where they can have an actor who has committed crimes in their shows and back him for if he ever did something again then it could do a lot of damage to the industry. Nelke and the 2.5d association are companies and in order to keep putting on shows and paying actors and all the staff they need money. And to have money, they need a clean reputation, at least while it’s still relatively low in popularity. I do not wish Tsune ill at all, I think he is an excellent actor, and I really hope that he does continue acting but I completely understand why he was not cast in this show again and why that led to a recast of most of the cast. I think that Sana was excellent as Maraich in every way he embodied the character. But having been in quite a few previous shows together Yuuya and Dai already had excellent chemistry, and I think it would have been quite odd to see Sana as Maraich acting opposite a different Bancoran. I can't imagine any actor having better chemistry with Dai’s Maraich than Yuuya’s Bancoran and visa versa. And I really hope that with the end of lockdown and quarantine, and everything calming down a lot in terms of physical contact on stages they will be able to show the bond between their Maraich and Bancoran even more. (They didn’t actually kiss, converse to what I’ve seen some people reporting about how Nelke wanted to pretend everything was fine by making them kiss.)

Well enough on them, the Tamanegi. I think all of them were completely perfect for their roles and they all handled it with enough seriousness to make the comedy different enough from the past cast and therefore make it their own but also for it to actually be funny. I cannot wait to see this group in more shows together and see how much funnier they can become. My only slight complaint, and it is very slight, is that one of the Tamanegi is 19 years old, therefore underage, and it made me slightly uncomfortable when he took his shirt off. as I am now an adult watching the show. Having not been an adult when I watched the previous two, I do rather approach it with different eyes and that was something that I wasn't very comfortable with but I do understand that everybody isn't me and it would have been a bit strange if only one of them didn't take their top off.

Other cast members included Damian, the Maaya man and Ataru the ‘singing princess’. Again, all three of them were amazing, I was especially impressed with Shouta as Damien as I believe he carriage the emotion that came with that role excellently. Knowing what kind of personality Shouta has off stage, it still makes it slightly weird for me to see him playing less-good characters but I cannot fault his acting. I will cover the other two cast members in my spoiler review.

Anything else: I think the staging was excellent, prop work was very good and they obviously worked very hard on this show.

That will do it for my spoiler free review underneath I will get into a lot more detail on things that I liked, disliked or just wanted to comment on.

If you're stopping reading here thank you very much for reading and I really recommend if you weren't sure about this cast and weren’t sure how much they'd put into these roles and how much they would love them I can assure you that these roles have been trusted to people who really love this show and are working very hard. If you are considering getting the DVD but aren’t sure, I really recommend that you do get it if you like Patalliro and don’t just want to see only the old cast.

If you have any more specific questions about the show, I will be happy to answer them so just drop me an ask.

Spoilers under cut (Warning, it is very long)

God, where to even begin. This show was so good. They combined old stage Patalliro, with new directing, a new cast, and a really interesting arc. I'm going to separate my review into story, acting, singing/songs and directing, as well as mentioning some extra stuff that I might think of at the end.

I will illustrate bits I’m saying with pics but pics cannot do this show justice. And I’ve bolded where I begin each section so it’s more easy to find.

So first, the story. As someone who doesn't know the exact intricacies of this arc, I do know roughly what happens I just couldn't remember all the specifics, I think the show was set out in a very non confusing way compared to other Patalliro content. They did make the story a lot more linear and wasn’t showing stuff that happened at the same time as other things too much which can sometimes hurt my brain. Even with all the flashbacks and flashforwards I felt it was really easy to keep track of what was happening when. The story had a very clear and defined beginning, middle and end, and I just thought it was very well done.

Acting, with occasional dips into directing and story when appropriate. As I said before the acting was amazing. I had chills, the entire scene with Damien, Maraich and Bancoran. I think they balanced the comedy and tension very well and didn’t try to undercut all the serious scenes with comedy which is my main complaint with a lot of gag manga/anime/stages. Except during Maraich’s more emotional song where one of the Tamanegi was still wearing bdsm gear which I thought was a bit hmmm. I’m not rly gonna cover Kato Ryo bc he just is Patalliro at this point.

Maraich and Bancoran, despite having very few scenes actually talking to each other, had undeniable chemistry. Dai and Yuuya, sold me on them being a couple immediately with the way they looked at each other and how they held each other. Their final scene before the end together where Maraich lay in a hospital bed and Bancoran was clutching his hand gave me so many emotions (First night he held his hand and final night he kissed him). I was 100% sold on how much they cared about each other, even if they might fight a lot in the end no one will ever love the other more than they do, and I think that that is what makes this couple so special. They have a true unconditional love for each other and they would, quite literally in Maraich’s case, throw themselves on a bomb for the other one.

Bancoran. I think Yuuya played Bancoran so well. You could see the character maturing before your eyes as we moved from 15 years previously to 12 years previously, to 10 and onwards until the normal time. And you could see the vulnerability he had with Damien and how that was still there but how he truly loved Maraich and that the vulnerability he has with Maraich is different. While Damien didn’t tend to let his guard down around Bancoran, his relationship with Maraich is a lot more give and take and I think he played all of that expertly. I know how much Bancoran cares about Maraich is a lot more vague in the original but I think that was partly as a product of its time and they somewhat had to make some humour out of these two men being in a relationship without flat out making fun of that aspect. So, I am very happy that the stage lets these character’s be in love and despite everything, truly show that they care about each other. Also, he did make me cry a few times when he saw Damien broken, Maraich with Damien as his heart broke seeing that happen to the man he loved but also breaking for the trust he put in a man he had once loved as well in the final scenes where he has clearly decided to kill Damien but is still holding onto a feint hope that maybe, he is not completely lost.

Mariach. Wow, just wow. He was not super present in the beginning, but he was the standout in the show in my opinion. His Maraich was so so different to Sana-chan’s Maraich and yet he was absolutely true to Maraich. He approached Mariach from a very different angle and I am so glad we are lucky enough to get both of them playing Maraich. He seems a lot more mature, like he has definitely been with Bancoran longer. He gives him more trust and isn’t as quick to be jealous as well as very quickly understanding Damien and how important he is to Bancoran, asking Patalliro not to tell him anything until they were sure which is different to how he acted about Bjorn/Andersen in the last show, they are different situations but I do think it represents character growth. He was a lot more aggressive in his fighting and anger though, as shown by his heavy metal solo as opposed to the softer ones of Sana’s. Despite all that he still was clearly in love with Bancoran and still showed his cute side. As well as expressing more deeply about his love for Bancoran with one of the Tamanegi but more on that in the Tamanegi’s bit. The scene with Damien was done so well by everyone involved. They clearly condemned Damien’s actions, showed how disgusting what he did was and created incredible pathos for Maraich while also showing Maraich somewhat unaware of what had happened and during the sex scene with Maraich and Damien, Dai showed Maraich’s desperation to hold on Bancoran and love Bancoran, so well, and it broke my heart.

Damien. I don’t remember too much of Damien from the original but Shouta played him excellently. He showed the progression of this man who loved Bancoran to a man who was willing to throw him away and murder him so well and it was believable despite not seeing almost anything except his interactions with Bancoran or Bancoran/Maraich’s feelings about him. When he held Bancoran at the end, asking why he was fighting so much and why he wanted Damien to kill him, despite Damien obviously being the villain you couldn’t help but feel sympathy for this man despite everything he’d done. (Also I think there is meant to be a parallel between him holding Maraich and him holding Bancoran)

The Maaya man. I thought the actor himself was very good, but I am a bit confused about why he was in the stage. All the Tamanegi played multiple roles, changing costume, and there is only one of him, so I am not too sure what the benefit from having a single Maaya man was but it’s a very small complaint and mainly about logistics rather than show quality. Especially as it certainly didn’t take away anything from the show having him there.

Nakamura Ataru – The singing Princess. Oh. My. Lord. Her voice was phenomenal, and she was gorgeous in every single outfit she was in, reaffirming to me that I am very pan (Not just attracted to the men in the play but also this gorgeous woman. I am not saying I am pan because she is trans). What was a surprise to me is that she was genuinely really funny. In the scenes where she was meant to be funny, I laughed a lot and she definitely has expert comedic timing.

The Tamanegi. I am going to separate a few of them who were reasonably important and group the rest in together.

So, the ones who did not play major roles in the show were: Emoto Koki, Ookubo Tatsuki, Sagawa Daiki and Hoshi Gouki. They were all very good, played their parts well and I don’t think they could have done better. It was very interesting to see Koki in a bdsm outfit but besides that there wasn’t anything super memorable about these actors’ parts.

Harashina Motohisa. Motohisa played the Black Tamanegi and served as somewhat of a leader for the Tamanegi in their scenes. Given that he was the only 2nd season Tenimyu actor in the cast and was the first name in the list of Tamanegi this was pretty much the role I expected him to play. He was very good, and his high voice was super adorable to hear after not hearing it much from his roles.

Okuda Yumeto. It was very surprising for me to see that Yumeto was the Tamanegi who travelled back into the past with Patalliro to see Bancoran’s past. Not only is he the youngest of the Tamanegi but he was also last on the list of Tamanegi names, I might be putting too much onto that list, but I did think it was gonna be kinda going from highest ranked to lowest and from most importance in the show to lowest. I was kinda right and wrong about that as the four most important were the two first names and two of the three last names. He did get to sing a little in the Bancoran and Damien jazz sex song, more on that later, and I thought what he did was good.

Nakata Ryouta. (Yes I am saving Tsukasa for last bc I love him). Out of the four he had the smallest role but still had a solo bit in their trio song (trio is the name for a song where 3 people harmonise and have solo bits if you didn’t know, bc lol I didn’t) and was somewhat important to Maraich. I thought he was very good despite it being his first stage show and he had a lovely voice. He and Tsukasa made such a cute couple.

Taguchi Tsukasa. Warning, he is my favourite actor, and I am extremely biased. He was the best actor in the show, no question.

Joking, he didn’t have too much to do so obviously he didn’t shine more than Dai-chan, Yuuya or Shouta for example. He had two scenes with Maraich and while he didn’t do much in the stage overall it was clear how much of an impact his character, Tamanegi no.35, made on Maraich. He confessed to Maraich his love for his fellow Tamanegi, no.19, and spoke of their love and how special they were to each other which was never ridiculed or made fun of but was an exceedingly human moment and as a lgbt person it really touched me. He saw the love Maraich had for Bancoran and he and 19 did everything they could to help him. Without them, Bancoran and maybe Maraich as well, would most likely be dead as they picked Maraich up and brought him to Bancoran as well as getting Plasma X’s armour to protect him. Maraich, so far in the stages, hasn’t really had a friend. He always has just had Patalliro, shown by Patalliro being called in the 2nd stage to help them with their argument despite Maraich not liking Patalliro that much and this Tamanegi offered help to Maraich without judgement, just empathy, and I thought that was really special. I know, due to the nature of this being based on a gag manga and knowing Patalliro, that in the next stage they will likely not get another scene together but I can hope as their second scene with 19, 35 and Maraich might be my favourite scene in all of Patalliro content.

I know Tsukasa is a massive Patalliro fan, in a live he said he went to the previous show between 4-6 times and I have rarely seen him smile as much as he did in the finale of this show. It obviously meant so much to him to be in a show he loved and I’m incredibly happy for him.

Singing/songs.

There were 9/11 songs in this show. (9 if you don’t count Cock robin and Foggy London Airport which Ataru only sang a little of on stage but is an album exclusive)

These were:

1. Wow Patalliro

2. I can’t see your

3. Maybe we could meet again? – Mata Aeru Kashira

4. Foggy London Airport

5. Sexy dudes!

6. To leak out – Moreru

7. Kiss me Bancoran

8. Cock Robin

9. Don’t overlook me – Misugosenai

10. My special person - Tokubetsu na hito

11. Forever Patalliro ~ Grand Finale

1. Wow Patalliro

This opening song was such a bop and I don’t think I will ever get it out of my head. It was very different to the previous first songs, much higher tempo and energy which I think was interesting as this show felt slower than the previous two shows which I thought was interesting. Shouta, Damien’s actor, was having so much fun dancing around in the bg and it was adorable.

2. I can’t see your

God Ataru’s voice. Her voice was gorgeous in this song. This was my favourite of the 3/4 songs she sang and this is from a person who doesn’t usually like ballads. The contrast between the fast pace of the first song and the slow pace of the 2nd song was so well done. And it was such a good song to have the cast list play during as kinda a more formal opening as the first scene doesn’t do much except to show that Bancoran is acting strange and so isn’t super related to the rest of the stage.

3. Maybe we could meet again? – Mata Aeru Kashira

I love the club singer vibe of this song and Maraich was so cute with Ban clapping along in the back. It was a nice soft scene before all the angst and trauma in the rest of the scene and it was really nice to see them on a date together.

4. Foggy London Airport

Don’t have many thoughts as I didn’t really hear much of this song, about 2 lines, but I’m sure it’s amazing if Ataru is singing it.

5. Sexy dudes!

I love all the Tamanegi songs so much and I rly liked how different this one sounded, much like all the songs in this show, I like how the Tamanegi are built up in this song to seem so good then they having the dumbest dance ever, it was amazing and the final day with all of them stripping killed me. Of laughter bc of Daiki wearing a shirt that made it seem like he had abs and of other things bc of Tsukasa stripping. (I think Daiki might not have been comfortable showing his fully chest so I’m glad they allowed him to just wear a pretend ab shirt)

6. To leak out – Moreru

I never imagined a sex scene in Patalliro would be shown by a woman dressed like a bush singing a jazz song as screens showed the characters sex faces as they were on a spinning bed or doing poses but here we are. The song itself was very good and I think it worked weirdly well representing what happened.

7. Kiss me Bancoran

God all the songs in this stage were just so good. Another absolute banger. Yuuya’s voice as Bancoran is divine and the choreography and everything work so well for this song. I also think he looks super pretty in his past Ban outfit and love that the song was done in that.

8. Cock Robin

Pretty much as normal. Maraich’s little leg lift is so cute

9. Don’t overlook me – Misugosenai

This was not what I expected from a Maraich solo in any way shape or form. But it works so well?? Maraich screaming into the mic as Bancoran plays the guitar and the Tamanegi do back up dance is just phenomenal, Dai’s voice works for the song so well and him pretending to be Damien and Bancoran and impersonating their voices as they had sex was hilarious, omg. This song was the song we didn’t want but we needed so much. By far and away my fav song in the show. I have listened to it so many times already and I am never gonna get bored of it.

10. My special person - Tokubetsu na hito

A trio song between Maraich, 19 and 35 about what you do when with the person you love the most and what you would do for the one you love the most, with the other Tamanegi as back up singers. Despite looking a bit silly with Koki in his bdsm gear in the bg, the emotion was there, and the three actors are such good singers. /not at all biased. Honestly, I died when I heard Tsukasa start to sing. I didn’t expect him to get a solo bit in this show and I was so happy that he did.

11. Forever Patalliro ~ Grand Finale

I rly like the new ending song. It’s upbeat and fast like the first song and has a different feel to the previous cast. I’m kinda glad that the final bit with the circle head things that look like the headframes from the manga was the only song they kept. They’re showing that they are moving on from the previous cast without erasing what they did.

Overall, I think this show has my favourite soundtrack. In the past two shows and the film there were a couple songs I didn’t love but in this one I loved all the songs!

Directing

Like I said before I think there were a lot of good calls in the direction. They had I think two or three references to Stardust, I think this was to partly reassure fans that they weren’t completely resetting the world and that this was a continuation and from what I remember maybe four or five recurring things.

1. Patalliro at the start being asked who he is, this definitely makes sense tho and I’m super glad they didn’t change it

2. Maraich’s legs shaking when Ban looked at him with his beam. I kinda liked though how they even changed the beam for Yuuya. Tsune’s was a contant beam whereas Yuuya’s beam is more short bursts. (in terms out sound and the projection of the beam light)

3. Patalliro recreating the most tragic scene from the play again at the end. I was a little unsure about them keeping this at first as it felt like a joke of the old cast but it was mainly something Kato Ryo did and he is still here to continue his joke so it makes sense to keep it. Also, in the finale he gave Damien. Maraich and Bancoran characters from tv to impersonate while doing their lines which made the scene very funny.

4. The final bit after the finale song with the head frames but I think it would be weird to remove this song in retrospect bc it is the song that mainly relates back to the manga. Also, they did change what the head boarders look like.

5. And obviously the two mangaka that are referenced in all the stages are still there bc that is something that came from the original. (Micchan sensei and the shojo mangaka one)

Except for that stuff, from what I can remember, mostly everything was new jokes which I rly liked. That they’re making new stuff for the new cast.

That’s it!

I still have so many other thoughts but the best thing I can say at this point is pls watch the stage! It is just as faithful as it was with the original cast and the quality has not dipped at all.

Thank you for reading my rly rambly thoughts and I’m sorry it trailed off at the end, it is quite late now.

I hope it inspired you to look into getting a DVD or CD or supporting the stage in some other way.

Have a good day/week/month/year/life!

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