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#like i knew the middle school staff sucked but what the FUCK
foldingfittedsheets · 9 months
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One of my earlier jobs in life was at a little pizza place. I worked there when it was first starting up. It’s the only job I’ve ever been fired from and it was because a new manager came in and cleaned house. Because my state requires a reason to be fired he said I used too much pepperoni. So now on job applications I get to write that I was fired for “excessive use of pepperoni.” Never fails to get a laugh.
Anyway! For this story to make sense I’ve first got to set the stage. This pizza place started out as the Wild West of management but one of the original investors was super committed to work programs through the prison. We hired a ton of ex convicts and they were all, to a one, super hyped on Christianity. Like born again for the sole purpose of lauding Christ with their every breath.
I hadn’t been working there long but I’d definitely noticed the Jesus bug had gone around, and as I’ve never been religious at all I tried to steer clear of the topic for my own safety.
The day our story takes place, I was folding boxes. Anyone whose ever worked pizza can attest, there’s so much box folding. It’s something that happens at every lull, the pizza machine demands box folding on a grand and epic scale.
On my right folding his stack of boxes was a guy wider than he was tall, made of pure muscle, Corey. He was newer on staff, and due to a stutter he didn’t talk much. All I knew about him was that he got hired through the rehabilitation program and had done time.
On my left folding was a tall middle-aged woman who loved to yell at me, Cindy. She and I rubbed each other the wrong way and had nothing in common, leading to a tense working relationship.
We folded boxes in silence. This was really my best case scenario as a quiet Cindy was a Cindy not riding my ass, and Corey intimidated me.
But the weight of the silence grew too much for Cindy, who finally said, “I really want to go to bible school.”
I folded a box. I had less than no idea what bible school even was and I didn’t want to get sucked into a religious topic.
On my right Corey said, “W-why, Cindy?”
“Well, cause I believe what’s in the Bible, but I just don’t know it all.”
He nodded sagely to this.
Cindy continued, “And every time I sit down to read the Bible I get real sleepy. And I know it’s the devil.”
It’s so hard to convey her tone in written format. It was delivered with the emphasis and exasperation of an inevitable inconvenience. Like, I just know it’s the squirrels eating the bird seed.
I froze in place at this pronouncement. My only exposure to Lucifer was Neil Gaiman’s Sandman comics and I was trying to mentally twist into a frame of mind where The Morningstar cared enough about this one middle aged lady expanding her knowledge of the Bible that he followed her around cursing her with sleepiness when she picked it up.
I think I expected Corey to say, “Well that’s silly,” or something to acknowledge what a bizarre thing Cindy had just said.
Instead he said, “Yeah!” In a tone of complete agreement.
I didn’t look up. I tried to keep my face neutral at this development.
But something must have shown. Corey said, “You don’t believe in God?”
I shrugged casually and said, “If I did I wouldn’t talk about it at work.”
“C-cause it’s t-true. If y-you t-ry to r-read the B-bible on unsanctif-fied gr-round the d-devil m-makes you s-sleepy!”
I made a noncommittal sound and fled into the back room.
Over the next week it drove me crazy though. The logic of it wouldn’t leave me alone so finally one day when it was just Corey and I in front, and the restaurant was empty, I said, “Hey man, I have a question.”
He shrugged and listened.
“I really don’t mean this with any disrespect, I just genuinely want to know about the logistics-“
“J-ust ask.”
“Okay, so if Cindy gets tired when she reads any book, is it only the devil making her tired when it’s the Bible?”
His face went purple with fury and he yelled, “F-fuck you!” at my retreating back as I fled once more into the back room.
It will forever remain a mystery.
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brrrkdslek · 1 year
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HYUNG'S SECRET! O.O
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❒ psh x male! reader
❒ porn w plot
❒ dry humping, raw sex, mommy kink, kinda somnophilia, recording, pet names, nipple play, possessive hwa, belly-bulge, creampie
❒ you discover your seonghwa hyung's secret and one thing leads to another.
❒ 4.1k
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you have a problem. so your current room was yours. since there are nine members, the staff decided to do a lucky draw to see which member would get a room all to themselves. and guess what? you got it of course.
sometimes the members would sneak in and cuddle you at night and you never minded. in fact, you loved cuddling with your members. they all held a soft spot for you as you were the youngest and last member to join.
but recently something weird was happening. you'd wake up most mornings covered in sweat, and your thighs and shorts would be covered in- what even is it? you didn't know.
you just think it's some weird shit you do when you sleep, but how wrong you were.
the members all had split schedules for the day. you would sometimes come across a few members and talk for a bit before moving on, but throughout the entire day you barely saw your seonghwa hyung.
you brushed it off as everyone's schedules were packed and busy, so you thought nothing of it.
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seonghwa was the last to arrive back to the dorms. he sighed tiredly as he entered, placing down his things before making his way into the living room, where he found you cuddled up between yeosang and yunho, watching a movie.
seonghwa's blood boiled as he saw yeosang lay against your neck, and yunho's hand gripping your thighs gently. however you didn't seem to mind, instead you smiled more at the affection. which angered him even more.
seonghwa had always held this possessive behaviour towards you. he knew you way back during middle school. you were a few grades below him and always looked up to him, his heart would swell whenever you would run up to him yelling 'hyung!' and telling him all about your day.
not that he hated his members, he just hated how touchy they were with you. you were his, damn it. he knew you longer, been with you longer. heck, he was the one who brought you into kq in the first place.
seonghwa rolled his eyes as he went into his shared bedroom with hongjoong, unpacking his things.
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he shouldn't be doing this. seonghwa knew how bad it was, how much trouble he'd get in. but he couldn't help himself.
he wrapped his arms around your waist, big spooning you as he rubbed his hard erection along your plump ass. he reached under your baggy tshirt, playing with your nipple as you let out a quiet whimper in your sleep.
he took a deep whiff when he buried his face against your nape, he moaned. god, you smelled heavenly. he almost came as he heard you let out a breathy moan.
you blink a few times, adjusting to the darkness as you felt something rub at your ass. you stayed silent as you blushed furiously. you bit the edge of your pillowcase as you held back moans.
you could feel yourself get harder. seonghwa leaned forward and nibbled at your ear, "oh fuck-! my darling n/n, hyung's sorry- ugh~ shit! fuck, i love you so damn much." seonghwa sucked at your neck, marking you as his.
he stopped and slid his cock between your thighs, squeezing him perfectly. "oh- n/n you were made for me, see how perfectly we fit with each other? fuckkk~ you feel so good, taking such good care of your hyung."
he thrusted messily as his tip rubbed against your leaking cock every now and then. both of his hands moved to fiddle with your chest, he pulled and twisted your nipples, massaging the flesh of your chest. you whimpered as he bit down on your neck once again.
there's no way seonghwa hyung would do this. there's no way, right? of course you recognise his voice, you knew it was him but you just just couldn't believe he would do something like this. you weren't disgusted at all, the opposite actually.
"fuck- n/n, mommy's gonna cum! cum with me, okay?" seonghwa put his hand into your shorts, stroking your hard cock gently. you bit your lip at the feeling of his callous fingers, you were so fucked. god, why did he have to call himself that? it made you feel all weird and shit.
"ugh~ you're mommy's boy, aren't you? you're mine. mine, mine, mine! fuck- you belong to me, and i belong to you. i- i'll do anything for you, baby," seonghwa kissed your neck lovingly as you feel your orgasm nearing at his possessive tone.
"i love you so much, n/n-! so please, love me too! mommy will take care of you and love you- ah! fuck, you feel so good..." seonghwa teared up, moaning beautifully before cumming all over your thighs.
you came into your short right after, tears sliding down your face. you felt so good, so needed, so loved.
you panted as your eyelids became heavy, just then seonghwa flipped you on your back as you stared back at him with half-lidded eyes. he smirked and kissed your forehead, "go to sleep, it's all a dream..." seonghwa covered your eyes, lulling you back to sleep.
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you woke up clean for the first time in forever. bits and pieces of last night coming back to you as you became flustered.
you guys had a fan meeting to attend today. you were pumped and excited to see your lovely atinys, you jumped around with wooyoung as you neared the stage.
the meeting flew by so quickly. you met a lot of nice atinys that gifted you plushies, your favourite! you and the members began answering some questions from a mystery box filled by atinys.
"okay atinys, it's time for our maknae to pick his question!" san taunted as he handed you the box, you swayed your hand around it for a while before picking out a small slip of paper.
you opened it and read exactly as it said, "is seonghwa your mommy...?" the crowd roared and cheered as you stood, flustered. seonghwa smirked and wrapped his arms around your waist, face dangerously close to yours.
"aww, you're all flustered n/n~ do you like mommy that much?" the crowd along with a few members screeched at the sudden comment. your hands rested on his forearms as you stared at anywhere else but him, "uh- yeah of course i like you hyung, what are you talking about?" you laughed it off as you detached yourself from him.
seonghwa's heart fluttered even if it wasn't the 'like' he had wanted. he smiled widely and latched himself onto you again. the atinys awed and cooed at your adorable interaction.
you felt his hand slid under your cropped top, kneading at your waist. you bit your lip and squeezed your thighs together.
"n/n, i know your birthday is coming up soon. look what i got you!" a staff ran out to pass the giant kuromi plushie to him, before he passed it to you.
completely forgetting the past event, you squealed happily and threw yourself at him. catching you easily, seonghwa kissed your cheek. "thank you hyung! really, i can't believe it! it's so huge!" the plushie was almost as big as you.
the audience cooed at the interaction, atinys have always adored you, being the youngest and cutest member, you easily attracted lots of fans.
wooyoung whined, "yah! hyung, why do you only buy nice things for m/n? what about us?" "maybe if you behaved properly i would buy you something too." seonghwa said with a raised eyebrow.
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you laid on your bed as you cuddled your very very large plushie. you buried your head into the fur, taking a deep whiff of its scent.
it smelled like... seonghwa? i mean, obviously. he bought it for you. weirdly enough, his scent overtook your senses. your sight became hazy as you sniffed more and more, hips moving instinctively.
"hyung..." you mumbled as you humped the plushie. you muffled your moans by biting into the ear or the plushie. memories of the night before flooded your brain, seonghwa's moans plagued your mind as it replayed on loop. it made you realise how hot and bothered he got you last night.
as you got more into it though, "ah~ m- mommy... oh-!" your toes curled as you shivered at the memory of his touch. his delicate fingers, pretty hands touched you so gently, with so much care, so much love.
you stopped and looked through the crack of your door, thanking the lord no one heard you. you got up and wobbled over to close the door, closing it gently then picking out seonghwa's hoodie from your closet, which he gave you and put it over your tshirt.
you squeezed your thighs together as his warm scent engulfed you. you laid on your bed again as you brought the hoodie up to your nose. you shut your eyes as you suffocated yourself in his florescent smell.
you whimpered as you caged the plushie between your legs, grinding on it. "mmh~ ah-! mommy, please- ouh~!" you pleaded pathetically at seonghwa no one in particular.
then, you heard a quiet giggle. you opened your eyes, face red with sweat as your hair stuck to your forehead. there seonghwa stood at your door, leaning on it. your eyes widen as you froze in embarrassment.
seonghwa walked in, closing the door and locking it as he made his way to sit at the edge of your bed. "so... i guess you like your present a lot, hm?" seonghwa smirked as he held your chin with his finger.
you blushed and swatted his hand away, "n-no! you're crazy anyways! how could you be doing such... lewd things to me when i sleep, hyung!" seonghwa smiled gently before crawling towards you, caging you between his arms.
seonghwa dipped his head next to your ear, whispering seductively. "you're so cute, my love. fuck, i want you so bad," you squirmed as you tried pushing him by his chest, only to have them pinned above your head.
seonghwa licked along the shell of your ear, squeezing a whimper out of you. "i know you want me too, baby. just say the word and i'm yours~" he smiled as you squeeze your legs closer to each other, trying to create more friction.
he slid his knee between your legs and rubbed circled against your crotch. you moaned loudly as you arched your back. taking the chance, he slid his tongue into your open mouth, sucking your tongue as drool trickled down your chin.
he let go of your wrists as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close. then, a knock sounded at your door. you pulled away with wide eyes as you and seonghwa held eye contact for a second, before the man smirked and dived down to kiss your neck.
everybody knew how sensitive your neck was, so it didn't help that he attacked at your sweet spots so eagerly. you let out a quiet moan, covering your mouth immediately.
"m/n, are you in there?" hongjoong asked as your doorknob shook,
"why's your door locked-? whatever, have you seen seonghwa hyung?"
"n-no..." you bit your lip as you stared down at seonghwa who moved his knee, you felt him smile into your neck as he teased you. you gripped his hair, hoping he's stop, but it just made him groan and whimper.
"you okay? you sound sick, do you need me to-"
"no! i mean- uh, no it's fine! i'm just feeling a bit t-tired..." you shivered as seonghwa's hand slide under his your hoodie, trailing up to your chest slowly.
"alright... then, sleep well!" as you heard the footsteps of hongjoong slowly diminish, you allowed yourself to relax into his touch.
"a-ah, not there!" you whined dumbly as seonghwa caught your lips again. kissing you with so much heat and passion, making your head spin.
his fingers flicked and toyed at your nipples, making you whimper into the kiss.
seonghwa pulled away, replacing his knee with his crotch as you rubbed against each other.
"baby- ugh, let me fuck you, please? mommy will fuck you full of his cum," he stare at you with half-lidded eyes, sliding his thumb into your mouth.
"tch, i don't know why you're always so touchy with the members. you're fucking mine, got that? i loved you way longer than they did, it's only fair that i should have you, right?"
he slid his finger further into your throat, making you gag a bit in the process. as he pulled out, a string of saliva connected at the tip of your tongue and his thumb. he smirked and licked his thumb clean seductively.
he grinded himself into you agonisingly slow. eyes begging you to just say the word,
to let him take you,
let him pleasure you,
let him love you.
which is what you did. you leaned into his ear and blushed furiously, "uhm, i want you... mommy, ah!" he suddenly bit down on your neck, nearly drawing blood.
"there, now you're all mine. now they'll know who you belong to, right baby?" he stroked the bite mark on your neck, internally hoping it'll last forever.
the male cooed as he watched tears well up in your eyes, softly stroking your cheek, kissing you sweetly. "awh, i'm sorry honey, did it hurt? mommy's sorry, let me make it up to you, hm?"
his hands slid under you as he pulled you up swiftly, switching your position with you now straddling him.
he laid down as he lazily pulled you up by your thighs. your crotch slowly inching towards his face. you leaned forward, putting your hands above his head to level yourself.
"what are you... doing?" you were almost afraid to ask as you internally sweat-dropped.
"i want you to sit on my face" he smiled, almost sweetly if it wasn't for such a lewd thing he just said.
you blushed furiously as you tried to get up, proving to be futile as seonghwa pulled you back in, capturing your lips in his.
"i promise i'll make ya' feel good? please? just once, baby... spoil your mommy please?" he jutted out his bottom lip, eyes begging you to approve.
you thought about it for a few seconds as seonghwa kneaded your ass, teasing your hole by brushing his fingers against it.
you shuddered before nodding. seonghwa helped you take off your boxers, your leaking cock bouncing as it freed. seonghwa smirked before landing a few small kisses on the tip, making you shiver.
you slowly moved yourself forward and closer to his face, "are... you sure about this?" you shot him a worried look as he just nodded frantically, begging you to suffocate him already.
"i just– ah!" he pulled you down onto his face as he kissed and sucked at your hole. his pants tightened more and more every second he smelled your strong musk, it was intoxicating.
you moaned and whimper as your toes curled at this new feeling. his tongue began prodding at your hole as he held you down by gripping on your thighs.
your vision became hazy as you gripped his hair, pulling his further into you. seonghwa moaned at that, sending vibrations into your core.
"oh... mommy! i- ah!" you could only mumble the word 'mommy' pathetically as you rode his face, not even able to form comprehensible sentences.
your thighs tightened against his head as your soft flesh sandwiched his face. seonghwa swore he would've came on the spot if you had squeezed him any harder.
you felt his hands shake as you pulled away from his face. seonghwa's face was red as he panted.
"oh my god! why didn't you tell me you couldn't breathe, i-" before you could finish your sentence, seonghwa pulled you back on his face, sliding his tongue into your hole.
"w-wait, ah~ mommy!" tears started filling your eyes as pleasure overtook your body. his tongue slide in and out of your hole, teasing you.
you looked back to the kuromi plushie and pulled it back into you. moaning as you buried yourself into seonghwa's scent, getting closer and closer.
with you gripping his head and sitting on his face, seonghwa knew he couldn't last any longer. you softly whimpered that you were close as seonghwa went ballistic.
hands groping you everywhere as he slurped and licked at you. your moans were music to seonghwa's ears as he felt himself getting close.
"mommy... 'm gunna cum—" just then, you came all over the kuromi plushie as you pulled at seonghwa's hair, triggering his own release.
slowly, you pulled yourself up as your thighs shook. seonghwa had slick covering his mouth and chin, lazy smile painted on his face as he stared at the ceiling, as if fucked out.
"mommy?" you softly poked his arm as he turned to look at you for a few seconds. fuck, how could you look so innocent even in this scenario?
he crashed his lips into yours, as you tasted yourself on his tongue. you moaned into the kiss as you sat on his lap again, grinding yourself on him.
you looked towards your clock as it read '2:00am'. you made a mental note to not be too loud as you'll disturb the deep slumber of your members.
seonghwa gripped your thigh as he flipped your position, never leaving your lips. "are you finally gonna let mommy fuck you?" he mumbled between your lips as you nodded your head, pulling him so his body was flush against yours.
your hard cock grinded against his, the only thing separating the two were his shorts as he wriggled out of them, stroking your cocks together.
seonghwa went down and licked your nipple, suckling it in his mouth. you shut your eyes, throwing your head back as you tangled your hands into his hair.
he used his free hand to play with your other nipple, twisting and pulling at it. you covered your mouth as you moaned whorishly, never in the world did you think your seonghwa hyung would ever have you in such a position.
even if you did have a big fat crush on him during middle school, you never expected him to eat you out and probably fuck you dumb later. you turned your head to look at the picture on your nightstand.
it was your graduation and seonghwa had surprised you by coming with flowers and chocolates. you remembered how shy you felt as if he were your valentines. you still remember how you squirmed when he pulled you in by your waist for a picture, kissing your cheek.
seonghwa pulled away, looking towards the direction you were looking at. he smiled at the sight of only his picture on your headstand, "'ya know, i actually liked you back then." you turn to him with wide eyes,
"what? no way, i did too!"
he smiled apologetically, "i should've made you mine back then, huh?" you blushed and pouted, "well, you can still make it up to me~" you laid down with your hands above your head, flashing him a flirty wink.
"fuck- i can't do this anymore, i have to be inside you." seonghwa spat into his hand, stroking his hard cock before lining it up to your hole. you gripped the bedsheets above you as you gulped nervously.
he entered slowly at first, holding you in his arms and checking on you as he didn't want to hurt you. you moaned out at the feeling, you felt so full already.
he kissed you sweetly as he entered more and more. seonghwa had to hold himself back from fucking your brains out right then, the way your walls clenched around him, how warm you are, everything was driving him insane.
he felt you relax as he slid his entire length in in one go. your body jolted as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, he was... gigantic.
seonghwa waited until you told him to move. he slowly dragged his cock out, making you whimper. then, he snapped his hips back in. "AH! fuck..." you looked down to see a bulge at your belly as you closed your eyes and threw your head back into the pillows.
"heh, you looks so cute like this my love." he began fucking you quickly, almost dizzying. seonghwa pulled his phone out of his shorts pocket, putting his phone eye-level as he recorded you.
"c'mon baby, tell mommy how much you love his big cock, hm~?" he gripped your waist with his free hand, fucking you into him.
"puah~ mommy, i love your- ah! 's big..." you moaned whorishly before opening your eyes, you turned your head to the side, burying it in the pillows. "noooo, mommy don't film me please..."
seonghwa tsked as he gripped your jaw, turning your head towards the camera. "c'mon love, tell me. tell me how much you love it, how much you love me. unless, you like your other hyungs more than me?"
he sped up as you cried, cradling his hand at your cheek. "no- no way! i- ah~ i only wan'chu, mommy... not them, only- mmh! only you...!" you look up at him past his phone as fat tears streamed down your face.
you'd always craved seonghwa's affection since you first knew him, he was the perfect man in your eyes. you were attached to his hip like a puppy during your middle school years.
he was only ever gentle and loving to you. the mean glares he sent to other students were nothing compared to the large sparkling eyes that watched your every move.
of course, you two shared a whole lot of sexual tension. such as 'accidentally' making out with each other during a project at your house one time, but you both pushed it behind.
you always told yourself you only needed him, which he did you too. not that you didn't love the other members, just that your love towards them couldn't compare to yours for him, your hyung.
seonghwa cooed as he rubbed the tears from your cheek, "awe, my love. did'ja think i was giving you away or something? mommy's only teasing~ i would never do that to you, babyboy."
you blushed and smiled sweetly before he put down his phone, hands at your hips as he thrusted speedily. you felt yourself getting closer and closer with each look you shared.
you wrapped your arms around his neck, forcing your eyes open as you spoke, "mommy- ouh! i- i actually enjoyed it when we made out that time during middle school. i was jus- just scared you, ah! scared you wouldn't like me back..."
you shut your eyes, dizzied by the mix pleasure and pain. seonghwa's heart clenched, "my love... if i'm being honest," he leaned down near your ear, licking the shell.
"i actually thought about fucking you after that. every time i'd see you, i imagine folding you on the desk and fucking you in front of all the students. it would've been fun, huh?"
your stomach flipped as you only whimpered in response. it would've been heaven... just imagine, everyday after school he'd fuck you in your seat, in your classroom, where anybody could just walk in. you moaned as you felt a knot in your stomach.
"mmh, mommy, just a bit- faster please..." you nibbled at his neck as he pounded you, lewd sounds of skin slapping and bed creaking arousing the two.
"the bed might break if you go any faster..." you giggled into his neck as he let out a breathy laugh.
"doesn't matter. i need to show my baby how much i love him, how much i've needed him, how much i've wanted him." he rubbed your waist in small circles as you shivered.
"i'm gonna- mommy!"
"ugh! me too, love."
he thrusted messily before cumming inside you, triggering your own release. your back arched as your eyes rolled back, seeing stars. you moaned loudly as he filled you up the brim, hot cum burning your insides.
you let out a quiet moan as he pulled out, kissing you lovingly. slow and sensual, making you sleepy.
you pulled him towards you, tangling your legs together as you whispered a soft, "g'night..." before drifting off to sleep.
seonghwa smiled, kissing your head as he picked up his phone. he watched the recorded video, already getting hard again. he smiled as he went onto his messages.
he scanned the contacts of his members, who should he send this video to?
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©BRRRKDSLEK 2023
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symptoms-syndrome · 2 years
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Normally I'd preface this with a lot of "people who experience this are valid" kind of disclaimer but my therapist is urging me to do that sort of thing less and just be upfront. So I'm going to do that.
I'm honestly really, really tired of a lot of the conversations, online and offline (though those lines are more blurred now) surrounding mental health and illness being about how "you can't always tell." Stuff about how you notice it more than others and stuff like that. "You're valid if you're struggling in silence" or "x isn't meant to support or notice people with issues" or whatever whatever, talk about people being passed over and people not noticing or whatever kind of "validity" talk.
I've been, to some degree, objectively noticably fucked up for a very, very long time. I've been going to a therapist since I was six years old. I started Special Education in elementary school with gradually increasing intervention, and was sent to a separate special education school for most of high school. As far as I know I didn't get clear diagnoses (or they weren't shared with me) until middle school (when I got diagnosed with PTSD + depression, with some other diagnoses soon to follow) but even without clinical labels school staff, as well as my classmates, knew there was something wrong with me. A lot of the time other people knew there was something wrong with me before I knew it myself. I've been to a lot of therapists. A lot of partials. A fair amount of inpatient. "At risk" programs for "at risk/troubled" kids. I've been dropped from therapists for being "too much" or "untreatable." One I remember meeting for an intake appointment, and he told me to my face that my trauma was far too much for him.
Rarely ever do I see people talk about that sort of experience. I feel really alienated and sidelined by a lot of bigger conversations because I'm one of "those people." There's an implicit message of "it's okay if you're not one of those crazy retard sped kids" but what if I am. What if I am the kind of kid that even the kids with real bad depression or ADHD or whatever side-eye. My college counselor deleted all the colleges I said I wanted transcripts sent to (I had very good grades, the best I could do with my extremely limited access to mainstream school) in front of me because she said I shouldn't set my hopes high and "people like me" usually go for a trade instead. I got accepted to one of the best when I went around her and submitted the transcripts myself. Even if I wasn't able to go in the end because of homelessness.
There's such a unique trauma to being constantly under the examination of professionals. Like I'm squished under a microscope slide at best and discarded as a "someone else will deal with that, I can't" at worst. And then sort of loosely thrown into the "real world" which is quite the culture shock when you're used to your every move being highly controlled and needing authorization and permission and all that shit to do anything. But there's this weird dichotomy of being watched and controlled at every moment while also having no one give a shit about you. I'm sick of hearing only shit about how no one can tell you're mentally ill and how that's sooo hard and they wish they were more visible. No you don't. If you knew you would know it fucking sucks. And everyone hates you for being so visibly fucked because you're a bad mark on their program or whatever so they just send you off to someone else or just give up on you altogether. And now I gotta pick up all the pieces by myself and figure out how much of what I'm fucked up with is what I was told and how much is real. The people in charge of making me better just fucked me up.
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eroticcannibal · 2 years
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Do high school horror stories count? There was one specific math teacher at my school that was famous for making kids break down and cry in class. For late work or asking questions or any stuff like that. And she kept her job for years! Needless to say I dropped calculus before i had to have her be my teacher.
And a different teacher who took over only our middle year of Spanish (5 year high school) she was so bad when our old teacher got us back the next year she was shocked how little we learnt (we were supposed to learn more tenses but all we did was recover the basics). And the bad teacher was one of those. She thought she was nice and helpful to kids with learning disabilities but really she was just over bearing and one time yelled at my friend for not making eye contact.
Oh and last one. An English teacher was so mad I was skipping her class (what can I say I found it rather boring and was annoyed we werent covering the material thats on the standardised goverment end of year test) she was loudly complaining in staff room. I found out about this cause my history teacher told me cause she bragged to that teacher how i never skipped /her/ class.
Any such reputation should result in being fired immediately. Administration cannot even claim ignorance then. Fuck sake.
And oooohhhh my goooood i have met so many of those teachers who swear they are "so good" with the special kids and "care so much" and they all suck. Honestly they are worse most of the time. Their saviour complex justifies some truly horrific treatment. But oh they are just so nice they just want to fix those poor broken children uwu.
Honestly I think kids should be allowed to skip. Just as long as the school offers some other education options like, idk, make lessons resources available on the computers and let kids sit in the library or something. I skipped my boring science classes because I LOVED science. Loved it so much I already knew it all! I could have passed triple science at the start of the first year, but come exam time they moved me down to double. Even though I knew the material. Litterally robbed me of a vital qualification and ruined my career plans over fucking attendance.
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cutelilpupboii · 6 months
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⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⚠️THIS IS MY SAFE PLACE THIS IS MY STORY NOBODY SHOULD EVER GO THROUGH WHAT I HAVE SO THIS IS MY VOICE ⛔️⛔️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⚠️⚠️
THIS IS NOT A KINK THIS IS REAL RAPE NOT CNC ACTUALLY IRL FORCED SEX SLAVES NOBODY SHOULD EVER GO THROUGH SAFEWORDS ARE A MUST IN THIS COMMUNITY AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW OR BELIEVE IN SAFEWORDS AND UNDERSTANDING BOUNDARIES YOU ARE PART OF THE FUCKING ISSUES ITS NOT ALL MEN BUT UNFORTUNATELY ITS MOST CIS
MALES I HAVE MET AS A ADULT ARE CREEPS AND ITS OFFICIAL IM SCARED OF CIS MEN NOW IRL
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My thoughts and my story
I remember i was in grade 6 and was in middle school school was horrible life was horrible i was already cutting often i started self harming at a very young age due to the abuse i was going through unfortunately nobody believes a crazy kid whos already been on the mental health ward and is a frequent flyer due to "self harming behaviors " unfortunately alot of the stuff i went through my abusers would blame it on me being bpd and crazy and that i have a crazy imagination and that i hurt myself just because i want attention 🍄
🐶 yha because a 13 year old should definitely know about being a sex slave and know that if i play along and act like im enjoying it they wouldn't hurt me too much ...... but of course its all in my head right because a 13y have a abortions is so common im just acting out lets put you on these pills maybe these will help..... meanwhile im actually being drugged to the point where i cant move around much in and out of hospital restraints often enough while im on a unit in hospitals as well and i was drugged at group homes often in hospital restraints often being raped daily and SA and trying to run away and unfortunately nobody believes a kid with cuts on there arms ....... the amount of times i truly tried to kms as a kid is alot and i suck at it often punished afterwards so i would be on eyes on i was at the point staff were 1-1 on me i was 2-1 and arms length away ...... which ment i was abused more i had some good staff but unfortunately the amount of people in this is crazy cps is fucked up i was often sold for money and was a sex slave as a kid ...... and it was made so easily the amount of doctors nurses staff in group homes and they all kinda knew each other its werid because in every single one i was in as a kid i was sexually abused and physically and emotionally its just crazy how it could've been prevented if someone actually listened to me and got me help and actually helped me and Didnt take advantage of me.
🐶
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sonicenvy · 6 months
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the incident that had our library's head boss get fired publicly by the library's board of trustees (with no due process, staff surveys, public comments, or full investigation into the events in question) this past saturday is literally destroying our library, which sucks.
There are 2 (loud) camps of staff internally: the camp that is pro-our boss and the camp that is anti-our boss. The two loud camps are very passionately only on their particular side of the issue, and it has made stuff really awkward, because you don't know who you should and shouldn't stay stuff to. Like we're all walking on eggshells around each other and tip-toeing around the actual issue because there are certain (loud) members of these camps that are absolutely willing to retaliate against their "enemies" in petty, middle-school ass ways despite all being grown ass fucking adults with adult children. I don't have a deeply strong affiliation in this conflict, because I don't feel like I have all the (true) facts, and I'd rather not be hasty about this (and I also don't really want to jump into the fucking sea of sharks that are circling it now at work tbh).
So much of this situation was the result of miscommunication, journalistic malpractice, and good-old fashioned misinformation with a side dish of reactionary nonsense. My "neutrality" as it is in this situation (insofar as I'm not 100% loudly pro one camp or the other) makes it really awkward at work, because every interaction with a coworker has become a guessing game about what they really think about the situation, who they're afraid of upsetting, and whether or not they're in one of the two loud camps. Once again this whole thing fucking sucks actually.
So far, my feelings are:
The board of trustees acted HIGHLY inappropriately when they made the decision to fire our boss at the board meeting before allowing for public comments (aka the hearing) from her supporters or her opponents, without doing the (promised) internal staff survey about our boss and, without instigating a formal investigation (basically putting our boss on administrative leave while they investigated the original situation and the accusations, before making a conclusion)
At least some of the information from the anti-our boss camp that I originally knew about the situation, I've come to discover originated with a colleague of ours who has in her TWO years working here been the instigator in a variety of negative workplace incidents, but never received any consequences or discipline for her highly inappropriate actions in those situations. Why was she never disciplined despite behaving inappropriately and unprofessionally in multiple situations you ask? Well, she has a history of being a known public facebook smear-campaign reactionary against others, and often cries "racism" against others when it is not true in the least, and takes these accusations of racism to facebook to publicly smear the people she is accusing. A lot of people are genuinely afraid that she'll retaliate against them for speaking out about her actions. tldr; she is a highly suspicious source of information that given her history I do not trust to be measured, reasoned, and non-reactionary.
Our boss made a mistake, and initially doubled down on her interpretation of events in an extremely weird and public way via the library's website (and our email blast). She did eventually publicly apologize for the initial mistake AND retract and apologize for the doubling down. My current vibe read on her initial apology/retraction email was "Youtuber apology video" tone/language wise, but genuine desire to improve afterwards. The mistake our boss made btw has been blown up a lot, but was hugely embarrassing for us as an organization, and she did make it worse with her initial double down on her interpretations of events.
I think our boss's worse mistake (and the more inappropriate action she took) was actually the doubling down using the library's official website and the library's email blasts. Unfortunately for her, her doubling down, the retraction several hours later and the apology email all worked together to make the perfect shitstorm to bring her mistake(s) out into the open. A small but loud group of angry patrons made a petition calling for her resignation (and the resignation of several other members of LT/MT)
There were multiple layers of miscommunication that caused the original issue, all of which could have been resolved if our internal policies were clearer for that particular issue.
Our boss is taking way more of the heat for this mistake than she maybe should, while our com lady and our second in command boss who were also involved in making this mistake and in orchestrating the double down, the retraction and the apology are not facing the amount of scrutiny our boss has faced over this. Interestingly com lady and 2nd in command boss are both white and our (now former) boss is black. hmmmmmm wonder if that had anything to do with the imbalance in how the "guilty" parties who worked together to make this mistake have faced consequences....
the local village newspaper has been very closely following this drama to an obsessive degree and their reporting on this issue is SO ridiculously biased towards one camp rather than the other (the anti-our boss camp if you were wondering) that I feel comfortable calling it straight up journalistic malpractice on the part of the village paper newsroom. Their reporting relied extensively and almost entirely on the accounts of members of the anti-our boss camp. They also published stories with bad speculative information, and failed to do any interviews of the individuals in the pro-our boss (or indeed OUR BOSS) camp when they published their initial stories on the initial incident. Their only pro-our boss voices that got heard where the soundbites they took from the first board meeting on The Incident™.
The Incident™ in question is just the tip of the iceberg on much, much larger internal interpersonal drama shitshow that has been going on for MONTHS. No one reporting on this situation from outside has been taking that into consideration.
The board has set out no plans for an intern god boss or for the new god boss search at this time. We all wonder if anyone qualified for this position will even be interested given this new history we now have because of the board's inappropriate actions. Will we instead get someone who is inexperienced AND unqualified as our next boss? What would that mean for our library? Bad probably.
This whole thing has been a sobering reminder of the absolute power that library boards hold over the operations and staff at every public library in america. Ultimately we serve at the whim of these unprepared, often non-knowledgeable publicly elected officials, who, as this incident has shown are not afraid of terminating anyone within the library without due process. Extremely bad vibes and rancid look from the board. On that note, library workers across this country are literally begging y'all to give a fuck about library board elections.
The entirety of this incident from the initial Incident™ to the our boss getting fired in the public board meeting, to the weird tense environment at work has basically nuked our credibility as an institution among our peers.
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bobatealie-archived · 2 years
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explodes
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The Sommelier (Hannigram x Female!Reader) pt. 5
More people said yes to Hannigram, which is good because Will is already involved in the plot and it would be awkward to have him just disappear. Also, I had someone request a Hannigram x reader in my asks. Apologies to the one person who voted no; I promise there will be more solo Hannibal x reader content in the future.
Hannibal decides to that y/n could do with some extra protection, but doesn’t anticipate what she has to tell him.
I have no idea how to make a proper tag list but @deadman-inc-bikeshop and @dovahdokren here you go 
Trigger warnings: discussions of alcohol, victim blaming
“When I saw his face, I immediately knew he had never once experienced the touch of his own hand, let alone that of a woman.” Charissa read out loud to everyone on staff. “Or, that he was buried so deep in the closet he found Narnia, but those two things aren’t mutually exclusive.” 
It was expected to be a slow night, as was normal for an ordinary Tuesday. On nights like those, you could get away with more, like reading a tabloid article out loud for everyone to hear. 
“I can’t believe [F/N] actually went public.” One of the new busboys commented. “What an absolute madlad.”  
“Did you just unironically use reddit terminology in an actual conversation?” You narrowed your eyes at the kid. 
“[F/N], you are making a very dangerous enemy.” An older waitress said, cryptically, from the corner of the room. 
“Who, Jason?” You gestured to the busboy. “What’s he gonna do? Make me cringe myself to death?” 
“You know that’s not who I mean.” She frowned. “I’m talking about Chase Mulvaney.” 
“Don’t be ridiculous.” You shook your head. “He’s not stupid enough to come back here.” 
Charissa made a noise that denoted her doubt. “I dunno, [F/N]. You’d have to be pretty stupid to start stabbing people at a crowded restaurant in broad daylight.” 
“But he was smart enough to get away, right?” Jason asked. “That’s gotta count for something!” 
You and Charissa exchanged glances. Neither of you had the emotional bandwidth to explain white privilege again. Instead, you just humored him. 
“Yeah.” Charissa lied. “He was smart enough to get away, meaning he probably knows better than to come back.”
"You're kidding yourself." A third waitress, who's name you couldn't seem to place, added. "People always say that killers are these galaxy-brained superhumans, but they're not. Mulvaney believes he's divinely ordained, so any thought that pops into his coked-out head is a sign from god."
And so shattered your thin firmament of denial. You made a point to never learn this person's name just out of spite.
“Oh, shit.” You said, trying to hide your genuine fear with a sarcastic voice. “Maybe he is coming back for me.” 
Charissa glared at the two other waitresses, equally pissed at them for scaring you.
"And it'll be your own fault for provoking him with that article." The older waitress said.
"Holy victim-blaming, batman." You mumbled.
“Alright, listen up, y’all.” Matthew announced to the group. “In ten minutes we open for dinner. Remember, if you want to switch shifts with another person, you have to run it by me first. I don’t want to see anybody but [F/N] at the bar tonight, capiche?”
“Yessir.” You saluted him and made your way over to the bar. You’d been doling out your bartending shifts left and right to avoid even the possibility of being cornered by another Freddie Lounds. You were only prolonging the inevitable, though. Eventually, you needed to return to the bar.
You passed the hostess's stand, where Charissa was stationed. Suddenly, you felt someone grab at your arm.
"Fucking hell, dude?!" You flinched violently and your heart rate jumped. "Don't do that!"
"Shit, sorry!" Charissa looked immediately regretful. "But, look!"
You followed her gaze through the window where a fancy car was parked. He leaned against the door, adjusting the cuffs of his dress shirt.
Now your heart was beating fast for a completely different reason. You squeezed Charissa's hand, trying to keep a lid on your nervous excitement.
"I think your luck's starting to turn." She said in a sing-songy voice.
"Yeah, I bet he'll protect me from the Baltimore Butcher." You whispered, trying not to giggle like an elementary school girl.
"Oh, could you imagine those arms around you?" She sighed deeply, her hand firmly against her chest. "I would die."
"Not until he sinks his teeth into your neck." You smirked, gnashing your teeth together.
"I would let him." She rested her chin on her hand.
"Yeah, me too." You agreed.
"I would give anything to trade shifts with you." Charissa groaned.
"Well, you heard the boss." You shrugged, suddenly feeling much better about your assignment. "I gotta stay behind the bar."
"Oh, pobrecita." Charissa rolled her eyes. Underneath the stand, she put up her middle finger in your direction. "Suck a dick, [L/N]."
You walked backwards towards the bar, keeping your eyes on your friend. "That's the plan, baby."
You tried to make yourself look busy. You dared not look at him as he entered the restaurant.
He exchanged pleasantries with Charissa then took his seat at the bar. You pretended not to notice him right away, only to give you an extra second to compose yourself.
"Hi there." You greeted, knowing you'd feel stupid no matter what you said. "Er- good evening."
"[F/N] [L/N], I assume?" He asked.
Fuck, you thought. His voice was dark, low and made your insides tremble. Even though part of you knew he was going to know your name, it still felt so sensual passing his lips.
You realized you had waved to him with your bandaged hand. That's how he was about to identify you so quickly. "Yes, I am she. I mean- her. Me."
Way to go, dumbass. You thought. Now he knows you're nervous and he's going to wonder why.
“God, I need to stop wearing this damn thing.” You said, clearing your throat. “What can I get for you tonight?” 
He was quiet for a moment. "What do you recommend?"
"Well, that depends." You said, pulling your gaze from him and grabbing a few wine glasses down from a high shelf. It was the only way you could maintain your composure.
"On?"
"What you're having for dinner, for one." You said. "And whether or not you're a vulpine tabloid journalist trying to corner me into a dubiously ethical interview. That's also a factor."
"So that's how Miss Lounds wore you down?" He concluded. "With wine?"
You rested your elbows on the bar, filled with an intoxicating confidence. "She tried wine first. Then she tried to get me fired because she asked for chardonnay and I brought her chablis. And when that didn't work, she siphoned my gas."
"I wish I could say that was out of character for her." He looked at you, apologetically.
"I take it you've had your own run-ins with Freddie?" You smiled.
"She's tried to infiltrate my practice multiple times." He sighed. "She's entered my office under a fake name with a recording device in her purse."
"What a sick fuck." You said, before remembering you really weren't supposed to curse in front of customers. You covered your mouth. "Sorry."
The corners of his mouth turned up into an amused smile. "Don't apologize. You're right."
“So you’re a doctor?” You asked, hoping he wasn’t the type to be offended by questions. 
“I’m a psychiatrist.” He nodded. “I used to work as a surgeon, but I find the mind much more compelling.” 
"Seriously, though." You pushed yourself back to your feet. "What can I get for you?"
He eyed the wine menu and then looked back at you. "What is your favorite red?"
"My favorite red?" You placed your hand on your collarbones. "On a night like this, I enjoy a nice, dry Argentinean Malbec."
"In that case," he thumbed through the list once more. "I'll have a bottle of Cobos Chañares from 2016, please."
You smiled. You wouldn't mind taking a sip of that if he offered. "Right away."
You carefully pulled the solid black bottle from its crevice and placed it on the bar. You removed the plastic seal and reached for the corkscrew. The bottle opened with a satisfying pop, filling the air around you with the strong, complex and seemingly contradictory aromas.
You poured a bit of this criminally expensive wine into his glass. He smelled it, then swirled it for a moment before taking a sip.
"Redcurrants and vanilla," he began. "With floral notes that operate with the precision of interlocking gears in a clock. Everything in its place."
"So you're a sommelier and a poet?" You tilted your head and filled his glass. "I'll bet you make women swoon at every corner."
You never had the best grasp on flirting, but even you knew that line was awful.
“Are you flirting with me, Miss [L/N]?” He asked, clearly not too worried about the consequences and enjoying the flattery. “Or are you just trying to get a taste of this Malbec?” 
“Little bit of column A, little bit of column B.” You shrugged. “Though you are as handsome as everyone says, I’ve had my eyes on that wine for slightly longer.” 
You fought the urge to slap your hand over your mouth. You had just broken the cardinal rule of workplace gossip. Panic reverberated through your body as you tried to break down his unreadable expression. 
Once again, he just looked amused. “I’ve seen those lingering glances, the way you all whisper and giggle. It’s flattering.” 
You felt your cheeks growing hot. “...I see.” 
“If you tell me what they say about me, I’ll let you have a taste.” His eyes bored into yours. 
You paused, trying to decipher exactly what he was offering. Then it hit you. 
“Oh!” You interjected. “The wine.” 
“Yes, that’s what I meant.” He said. “Dare I ask where your mind went?” 
Your cheeks stung from all the uncomfortable smiling. “I’d really like to keep my job, thanks.” 
“Have you never heard of bartender-client confidentiality?” His voice lowered and his eyes found your lips. “Nothing we say tonight has to leave these four walls.” 
Your insides turned to jelly. He rested the wine glass in his hand and offered it to you. Your hands shaking, you cradled the glass like an 18th century French village prostitute being offered a mug of hot soup. You brought the glass to your lips, the strong, overwhelming smells assaulting your orifices.
You let the wine grace your tongue. You had taught yourself to overcome the sting of the alcohol and focus on the undertones. Your eyes rolled back in to your head and you let out a little noise of pleasure. 
“Christ on a bike, that’s decadent.” You said, gasping for air a little bit. You quickly passed the glass back to him before Matthew could see you. “Thank you.” 
“Now, indulge me.” He instructed, glancing at the fresh pink lipstick mark on his glass. “What do the lovely women of Terroir whisper while I’m just out of earshot?” 
You rested your elbows on the bar and leaned in close. “They say you’re a vampire.” 
Judging by his unchanging neutral expression, it clearly wasn’t the first time someone had made that connection. “Perhaps they’re on to something.” 
“One of our line cooks used to say you were the devil.” You informed him, hoping that was one he hadn’t heard before.
“Used to?” He raised his eyebrows. 
“Until Chase Mulvaney came around.” You instinctively ran your fingers over your bandages, as if to make sure they were still there. It was a nervous tick you’d developed anytime someone brought up that day. “He’s stopped talking about, like, anything having to do with his religion ever since.” 
“It takes a lot to get an evangelist to stop evangelizing.” He refilled his glass. “Do you think he lost his faith?” 
“I heard someone say in passing that it was because he and Chase Mulvaney went to the same church.” You whispered. “But I can’t verify that.” 
“I’d say it’s more likely than a regular customer being a vampire, wouldn’t you?” 
“I wouldn’t trust their word because they made a regular customer into a vampire.” You corrected, hoping he would overlook the fact that you were one of them. “Secrets may stay within these four walls, but they tend to bounce around. It’s only a matter of time before one escapes, and you’d better hope it’s not one of yours.” 
This man must have been an exceptional therapist, because, there you were, baring your soul to him after fifteen minutes and one sip of wine. Occasionally, you were pulled away from the conversation by another customer who had the audacity to also want a drink. But, very few people came to you with the sole intent of drinking on a Tuesday evening. You and the sommelier talked until closing time. 
“Thank you for a lovely evening, Miss [L/N].” He said pulling out his wallet. “You are as delightful in person as you are on paper.” 
“Thank you, but I never caught-” you said, but stopped yourself. “I mean, you never gave me your name.” 
He signed his name on the paper check, then pulled out a fifty and unceremoniously handed it to you. “Now why would you want to ruin the mystery?” 
“Nothing we say tonight has to leave these four walls, remember?” You grinned and crossed your arms. “Come on, I won’t tell anyone.” 
He took the customer copy of the receipt and scribbled something down on it. He the folded it in half and slid it in your direction as if it contained nuclear launch codes. 
“Join me for dinner someday.” He ordered. “I’ll supply the Malbec.” 
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creepytoes88 · 4 years
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His cumslut
Letting Vinnie do basically whatever he wants tends to benefit me more then most people might think. My best friends are always saying I’m gonna regret letting him go to whatever party or anyone's house. They say he’s a hypocrite because he always has tabs on where I'm at and who I'm with honesty it does get annoying at times but he can't help that he has trust issues. I knew what I was getting into when I said yes to being his girlfriend he has had a bad past with every girlfriend he's had, all of them have cheated and every girl he got with outside of a relationship just uses him. He was very clear on how he feels about unnecessarily revealing clothes “Wear what you want but if I have to kill a guy tonight I'm punishing you when we get home.”
A very common phase he uses but that's the worst of it I don't mind telling him who I'm with or where I am, I never ask him where he is because because I know he won't go looking around anywhere else. I've explained this to them a thousand times “Well tell us why your so confident he won't cheat” I blush slightly and shrug “YOU DO THIS EVERYTIME” I look down “it’s personal” they look at each other and laugh “tell us you prude” I chuckle slightly “promise no Judgement or making fun of me!” they both hold out their pinkeys and nod “wellllll...I let him do whatever he wants-” kay laughs “Yea we know” I look down “i mean anything” I slowly look back up “what he says goes.... Don't wear clothes for the rest of the week.....suddenly I'm busy all week” they look at me dumbfounded “of course there are exceptions but I let him have complete control with the sexual side of the relationship.” I say with a small smile “and he's good at it too” they look at each other and look back at me before busting out in laughter, “no wonder your not worried...your his sex slave” I tilt my head Vinnie had never used that term with me, I grew up with Vinnie me and him went to school together we weren't close till middle school we decided in freshman that we would be best as friends. The second week him and I were in LA we went to a party and ended up hooking up I was a virgin, and I thought it was gonna ruin everything but to my surprise, we just kept getting more and more serious.
After 5 months of living in the sway house, we moved out into our little house, our sex life completely changed when we no longer had people living with us. Vinnie told me his sexual dreams of having me whenever he damn well pleased and having me wear things he likes. Vinnie makes jokes about it but in real life I'm only allowed to call him Vinnie if we're in public inside the house his name is Daddy and that alone. The first time we had a fight in the house I called him by his name and he simply picked me up threw me over the couch, he edged me for hours when he finally let me release the power of it made me faint for a minute scaring the the absolute shit out of Vinnie. ”Honestly your not wrong...he’s never called me that but I guess your kinda right” they are quite for a second so I look at them “what” they look at each other before kay takes a deep breath “are you happy though, Outside of the sex he not controlling or pushy?” I smile “oh he's perfect and so sweet to me honestly I'm more worried of hurting his feelings.” I feel my phone vibrant and then Vinnie’s ring tone I answer quickly wondering why he didn't face time me or text me “hey bab-” I hear him breathing deeply “whats wrong?” I ask with worry “I really need you to head home now baby I’ve had a very long day and I need to release some tension.”
I feel shivers go down my spine and I feel myself already starting to get wet I let out a fake sigh “alright Vinnie if it’s that important I’ll be home in 10 minutes” hoping the girls won’t think it’s about something dirty. Vinnie lets out a chuckle “they are still giving you shit about me?” I laugh “I’ll be home soon I love you” I hung up and give the girls an apologetic face “girls I’m-“ they laugh and stand up “it’s okay Y/n we don’t want him to throw a tantrum because your not naked when you get there” I gasp turning around seeing their playful faces “you guys are ridiculous.” We all laugh as we go separate ways, I get in my car rushing home I want to beat him to the house so I can keep the plan of being naked. The second I step in the house I start stripping and then as I’m about to pull my skirt off I hear a door slam. I gasp and rush upstairs flinging my clothes off just leaving them there. I hear the Door open then slam shut I jump on the bed quickly, I place my head and chest against the bed my ass in the air. I spread my legs as far as possible trying to calm my breathing my heart is basically beating out of my chest as I wait for him patiently.
Vinnie's POV
I pull in to the house and shut off the car taking a deep breath ”Vinnie it's not Y/n’s fault that Justin is a dumbass” I say to myself getting out of the car I slam the door releasing as much anger as possible before going in the house to my beautiful wife to be. I will marry this woman she's everything I've ever wanted or needed but now isn't the time for marriage or at least that's what I keep telling myself walking in to the house and slamming that door too I am already kinda feeling better I'm still fucking pissed but I'm not raging anymore I toss my keys into the bowl and take off my shoes seeing hers just tossed to the side unlike usual. I walking into the living room to see her shirt and bra on the floor I smirk and walk up to the stairs seeing her skirt and her panties along with her socks right outside the closed door. “Hello my love-” I walk in to see her bent over with her ass in the air, her beautiful flower on full display along with her cute little button. The sight takes my breath away I can see her arousal dripping down her legs “well aren't you just the prettiest view.”
I see her wiggle her squishy cheeks making me laugh a little “wanna give Daddy a little dance show princess?” I was kidding but my baby never disappoints she immediately started to shake her butt to an imaginary song I watch with my mouth open a little I truly didn't know she was capable of dancing that way. I watch in awe as she began to make her ass clap (as one does💀) I grunt as I feel my dick become impossibly hard I began to take my clothes off as I pull down my boxers. My cock slaps against my lower stomach making my stomach twist I grab ahold of it watching as large amounts of pre-cum slip out. I swiping my tip letting out a little grunt, I hear her call my name I look up at her to see her look at me from between her legs “can I help?” she asks as she bites her lip. I immediately let go and I feel another large amount of pre-cum drip down my staff again making me blush slightly no one makes me as horny as she does.
Y/n’s POV
I jump up from my spot I roll off the bed dropping to my knees in front of him I take both my hands and intertwine them with his big warm hands. First I lick up the line of pre-cum that's made its way to his balls all the way back to his tip before sinking down till he hit the back of my throat. Vinnie lets out a gasp rocking his hips against my face pushing the rest of his cock down my throat a gag comes out as a result but I continue to bob my head and suck I pull my head off taking a breath or two before opening back up and taking him all the way till my nose is pushed against his naval. The prickly hair tickling my nose I let out a small giggle “Oh fuck what was that” Vinnie moans above me and he grabs the back of my head by my hair in a fist “I'm gonna fuck your throat baby are you ready?” I nod my head best I can with his thick and long cock stuffed in my throat and blocking my airway. He pulls back till his tip is almost out before thrusting back in a popping and gagging sound come from my throat and my eyes rolls to the back of my head. I never thought I would get so much pleasure from giving a man head in my life but something about his taste and the feeling of him stuffing my throat that I just can't get enough of. Once I spent a whole day just sucking his dick he came in my mouth and down my throat too many times to count I had a little stomach bulge after and it kinda looked like a food baby. I remember Vinnie asked if that meant I was technically carrying his children now I smile slightly at the memory but I'm brought back to reality when I hear him calling my name “oh fuckfuckfuck” he pushes his cock as far down my throat as possible “Shit Y/n fuck baby!” shooting a long, and hot load down my throat I grab his hips gargling my throat around his cock making him jump and try to pull away as he continues to cum down my throat. He succeeded in pulling out and the last little bit of cum landing on my tongue “mmmm Daddy you taste so good” I say licking my lips I use my finger to the the rest off my chin and off his tummy I look in his eyes at I take the finger and put in my mouth moaning at the taste again. “Fuck Princess you enjoy that way to much don't you think?” he laughs as he lays down on the bed “my balls hurt” he laughs I crawl back on top of him kissing his cheeks and finally his lips “you taste so good though Daddy, I just can't get enough of you.” I run my hands threw his hair “give me like 10 minutes and ill make you feel so good baby” he says as he kissed my neck I sit beside him rubbing his god like body (somebody said something about licking his biceps in the comments as I kinda like that idea so enjoy)
I run my hands over his shoulders and down his arms admiring his gorgeous skin I feel the need to worship him show him just how much of a slave for him I am he doesn't need to tell me I'm his slave, I already know I am and I'm gonna show him. “Mmm Daddy let me worship you” I whine as I began to kiss his chest and shoulders I run my hands up and down his toned stomach I began to kitten lick his hard muscles sucking little hickeys while I'm at it. “Fuck Princess what did you say” I start to kiss and lick his abs my hands rubbing his hard thighs pulling away I say “when I was at lunch with the girls I finally told them the truth about why I trust you so much they called me your sex slave.” I stop and begin to leave hickeys all over his hips and sex lines his hard cock brushing my cheeks and chin “I thought about it and I agree and honestly I wouldn't have it any other way” I lean down kissing his lips “oh princess I'm gonna make you more then just my sex slave” I sinister smile runs across his face and gleam appears in his eyes “I'm gonna make you my cumslut and your gonna beg for my cum....well everywhere if I have it my way.” he says looking in my eyes I feel a blush run on my cheeks and an excited shiver run down my back “you know you'll have it your way Daddy that my job right?” I say with a cute smile tilting my head trying to look innocent Vinnie let's put a dark chuckle “I can't wait to ruin you and really turn you into my cumslut” he pulls me down before flipping us over so he's on top “you won't be able to think about anything else except the way it feels for me to cum in your beautiful body” that sentence sent a violent shiver down my spine, I just got on birth control a little over 2 weeks ago but we haven't had raw sex quite yet mostly because we wanted to be sure the birth control is in full effect before taking the chance. (let's pretend you can't get pregnant on birth control at all lmao) I guess now is better than never “please Daddy make me your cum slut” I whine hooking my leg around his hip running my hands threw his hair.
Vinnie’s POV
My poor little bunny had no idea what she was doing to me as far as she's concerned these are just words flying out of her mouth but to me they are her words of true love and true trust. She trusts me enough to control her body and soon her mind, once she falls into the state of a cumslut I know she won't be able to control her body or her mind hopefully she feels relaxed in that state. The last thing I would want is for her to have a bad experience with me being the one in charge. I push my head into her neck running my staff between her slick lips a small moan falls from her lips “thank you, baby, I won't disappoint you I promise.” I kiss her lips once more before grabbing ahold of both of her legs pushing my spongy tip into her entrance the feeling completely different from when I have a condom on I let out a low gasp. Goosebumps pop up on my skin and a shiver runs down my spine as I pull out a light popping noise is made “UGH FUCK YOUR SO TIGHT” I let out a loud moan throwing my head back. I look back down seeing my sweet girl looking back up at me with wide innocent eyes and her mouth slightly open her hands hold tight onto my shoulders without even thinking I push inside of her both of us moaning as her wet walls fluttering around my dick about sending me into orbit I quickly bottom out letting out a grunt using my free hand to move her hair out of her face “F-fuck Daddy please I want you to use me” I began to jackhammer into her feeling her wall pulse around me her loud moans filling my ears as I pick up her legs pushing them into her shoulders feeling myself go further inside of her “Da-DADDY” I chuckle “what baby is there something you want” she whines and grinds her hips into me making me go even further if that's possible. “Daddy please cum inside of me I wanna feel it” Her little body was shivering, I feel my balls tighten so I began to rapidly pound inside of her “OH YESSS IM CUMMMING” she yells out thrusting her hips up. I grunt pushing as far into her as I can releasing deep inside of her, I look down to see her tense and shivering “you ok bunny,” I ask slightly worried “i-so um I-please” I look at her slightly confused “what baby?” I say with a little laugh I see her open her eyes a little before spreading her legs again “more please.” she whines out I drop my mouth open at my cute little whiney mess “oh princess you have no clue what you just did”
I have other things coming but should I make a part 2 to this
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magicalsalamander · 4 years
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Lacuna
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Pairing: Jin ⇆ Reader
Genre: Law Students | Werewolf | Childhood best friends to idiot enemies to lovers | F | A | S
Summary: Lacuna(n): (1) In law, a non liquet (commonly known as “lacuna in the law”) is any situation where there is no applicable law. (2) An unfilled space or interval; a gap.
You are well equipped at handling whatever life throws at you. You had worked hard to erase the past and mold a new you, and the future were to become a lawyer. Well, everything was planned expect for your ex best friend who came back into your life like a crashing gavel. Just when you thought you could deal with his presence, he was now your partner on a case that was bigger than you had ever imaged.
Words: 21K
Warning: Mature; explicit themes, sexual content, and violence.  Lots of law inaccuracies. Alcohol and  club situations. Heavy angst with lots of arguing. Previous trauma of abandonment, harsh words and feeling unworthy. Knotting, cunnilingus, fingering, mentions of impregnation, soft dom Jin, marking/claiming, and possessive behavior.
A/N: It’s been so long since I’ve put out something! I want to thank everyone for being so patient and always supporting me! Thank you @heyitsmee2 for reading over this early on. I apricate you!
*Story mildly edited due to time constraint, will edit further 
| Masterlist | Copyright 2020 © by magicalsalamander. All rights reserved.
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You were no stranger to the game; surviving and trying to be someone in the charade of corporatism.  It was all too important to be unemotional. You’d soon find yourself in Prometheus place than on the highest rock on Olympus if you let yourself slip and you were sure of your path.
Calculation leads to quantification—and it takes only seven second to make an impression.
Your throat narrows with altitude, but the breadth of your career expands.
The raspy voice of the jazz singer was a rich wine as she caressed the vintage microphone intimately. The soft notes of the piano and band follow in tandem with the slow, romantic song she sung. The dark golden hue casted over the ballroom from the multitude of chandeliers only perpetuated the elegance of the atmosphere. Parties like this were suffocating despite being in a room sized for a hanger. You wouldn’t doubt either than some of the patrons here own their own planes.  
You down the rest of your wine nearly rolling your eyes at the romantic lyrics. When you were a little girl events like this were a dream, places like this gave promise of finding a prince charming. At least that’s what all the movies feed you and lead you to believe would happen until reality set in. This event wasn’t romantic in the slightest. It was to celebrate the 70th anniversary of the law firm. The entire point of the function tonight was to schmooze and be seen. As an intern, this was prime time for you. However, you suppose you were living the dream, just not a fairytale. You had worked hard to get this internship, nabbing one of the four spots that over thousands applied to. You had done what felt like to be the impossible—coming form a school that wasn’t ivy made it all the more surreal. Important business people, old and new money mixed in with ‘top of the food chain’ lawyers were all present and hiring opportunities post-graduation. That is if you don’t end up getting a job post with the firm, but a smart woman always keeps her options open.
The obligatory greeting and sucking up to had already passed and it was the lull of time where everyone was wondering who would be the first to leave. Your senses go off as you catch a two of four making his way through the crowd towards you. Standing up as if you hadn’t caught glimpse of Logan from your peripheral. You smile at those who you had shared the table with, names already forgotten, number three’s included, silently bidding them an underserved excuse me. You grab at the bottom of your dress and move through the crowd. You miss the scrunch in brow from Logan as he picks up speed after you. He was the typical American type of handsome with brown hair, strong brows, square face, shadowed beard, lean and tall. Logan was nice, made his name memorable by persistence, but the guy couldn’t take a hint. How he’s made it this far has been a mystery to you.
As you break the crowd going into the hallway, you hear him calling your name. Acting as if you couldn’t hear him, you ask a server where the restroom was and quickly headed in that direction. He began jogging to catch up with you. Your pace began to pick up too. You counted down the seconds, four, three, two—the bathroom was still to far to accommodate for your sudden pick up in counting.
“Y/n! Wait, oh, sorry, excuse me.” Timely a cart full of new hors d'oeuvre blocks his path.
Seeing his distraction, you abruptly turned and head down another hall from the main meant for staff. You reached for the first door and to your muttered curse when it was locked. You jogged to the second door which opened and closed it behind you as if fire was at your feet. Not bothering to turn on the light, you backed up further into the closet until you hit something. You had expected to hit a wall, but instead what you bumped into what oddly felt human, a large one at that. When they oofed, you scampered away. Fear thickening in you as you rapidly apologized under your breath. Instinct dictated you get out, as you opened the door to leave the heavy sound of footsteps outside had you closing it right back. The person with you murmured a beginning of a question but you quickly reached up, cupping the mouth of whomever was inside with you. Shushing them they quieted up instantly. The slight stubble under your hand indicated it was a man. At this point you didn’t care if they were someone important. You winced as you heard Logan calling your name again. The man murmured a muffled question that you couldn’t understand and you shushed them again until the footsteps outside quieted.
Sighing in relief you removed your hand from his mouth, using the same hand to search for a light switch. With an apology on the tip of your tongue turning to face the stranger, you froze, staring back equally as motionless as him in shock.
Kim Seokjin.
Number four.
Dressed to the nines in a black suit that clung to him tightly. His broad shoulders were pronounced, and with his height tall he took a lot of space. His thick, dark hair was pushed away from his face. His eyes flashed red before it disappeared back into its espresso color. He looked gorgeous. You’d never utter that out loud, but you couldn’t ignore it either. It irritated you even more. He irritated you.
“Oh for fuck’s sake.” You drawled out the oh incredulously.
A smirk pulled at his thick lips. “Hello to you too.”
“I never knew you to be so forward, at least take me to dinner first.”
Looking around you realized you were in a janitor’s closet. The scent of bleach was thick, taking up as much space as Seokjin’s personality in the confined space.
“What are you doing here?” You asked while wiping the hand that was over his mouth on your dress not so subtly.
He shrugged, suffocating a laugh at your gesture. “Needed a break.”
That was hard to believe. Jin was a natural at talking to people. He made it seem easy. He always had this sense of composure and poise about him. Staring at eachother his eyes broke from your gaze as he looked you up and down. Suddenly feeling self-conscious you adjusted your dress. The black satin dress you were wearing suddenly felt tighter than when you put it on. Under his gaze you’ve always felt this way, vulnerable, but you’ve learned how to conceal it better over time.
“What?” You hissed at him when he still stared.
“This isn’t the first time you caught me in a closet.” Quietly he followed up with, “Reminds me of the first time we met.”
You don’t know what bothers you more, Seokjin’s casual reference to the past or the fact that you suddenly are placed back there. You remember being terrified, wrapping your blue, pilling blanket over your head only letting your head poke through. You had been reading under your blanket when you heard thumping coming from your closet. With your flashlight pointing at your closet you swallowed harshly as the sound came again. Your parents had told you that monsters were fake, but the sounds sounded real.
Your light was shaking on the white double doors. “H-Hello?” you bravely called out. The thumping stopped. You gulped inching closer. You were taught to be brave. Your dad said that monsters couldn’t hurt you, especially if you don’t show fear. Like the book you were reading, “Where the Wild Things Are”, you like Max, could confront the monsters too. You could become and make them friends with them. You were sure of it.  
“H-hey,” swallowing hard, ”I’m opening the door, don’t bite me okay. I won’t hurt you.”
When no response resounded you breathed in deeply through your nose. Reaching out and yanking the door open you came face to face, inches away, from a boy hiding in your closet. A majority of your clothes were pulled from their hangers and piled on the floor which he was laying on. Similarly in equal fright from you bursting open the door, a shirt he had over his head fell off revealing furry grey dog ears.  At the sound of your gasp, he gasped, and a tail that swept to the floor wrapped around his middle.
Buffering in the moment you stared at the boy who seemed to be around the same age as you. Recognition filters through you, “Max?” Your eyes lit up in wonder.
The boy squinted at you, almost upset. “My name’s not Max, it’s Seokjin!”
“Why do you have ears and a tail like him then?”
His brows furrowed, “Because I’m a—.”
You heard a knock on your door from your mother hushing Seokjin instantly. “Sweetie, are you still awake?”
The boy lurched forward cupping a hand over your mouth seeing you were going to respond. “You can’t tell anyone I’m here.”
You whispered, “Why?”
“Y/N?”
His eyes gleamed as he silently pleaded with you, switching between the shadow from under your bedroom door and your eyes, bidding for you to understand.
Nodding in understanding, somehow you understood. Your mom from the other side of the door sighed, “I know you’re pretending to sleep, Pumpkin. Put the book away. I know its Saturday but remember lights out by 9.”
“Okay, Mom.” Finally speaking up.
“G’night.”
“G’night.”
She walked away.
Seokjin studied you carefully, eyeing you skeptically. “You’re not scared?”
“No, should I be?”
He paused truly thinking. “Yes. You should be.”
“Well, I’m not. I’m brave.”
He’s getting nervous and began muttering to himself. “You shouldn’t have seen me. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep. It just smelled so nice.” The last part was whispered out low enough where you couldn’t hear it.
“How did you get in?”
He pulled you into the closet down next to him, closing the door behind. The flashlight was between you both pointing towards the ceiling tightly grasped between your hands. His hands over you. His gaze serious and intent. “Promise you won’t tell anyone, swear on it! Swear on your life!”
You felt like you were being presented the ultimate challenge. This boy was trusting you with his all, maybe this was your adventure. Your destiny. You could be honorable. You nodded, “I swear, I swear.”
“What are you though? Why do you have ears and a tail? Are they real?”
“They’re real.” He said haughtily before pridefully confessing. “I’m a werewolf.”
Your eyes were sparkling, the blanket surrounding you long forgotten and dropped. “Oh, wow! Can I touch your ears?”
He nodded. Your reaction to his secret was surprising to him. He had been told by his parents and everyone in the pack that he should never real his truth. Humans had been enemies for centuries, hunting his kind since the beginning of time. Although, the kind had lived amongst humans for centuries, finding ways to blend in and look alike. The difference was the ability to shift into their natural form.
“Why are you not, like, you know—a wolf?”
“Papa said I can shift fully when I become a man.”
You carefully reached up and felt. He shivered at the touch. “Puppy.”
He growled at you, “Don’t call me puppy.”
“But you’re cute.”
He blushed, scrambling up and pushing your closet door open before heading over to your window. “I have to go.” He began climbing out of your window landing on the ground. Your home was one floor.
You stuck your head out of the window. “Wait!”
He turned around,
“Will I see you again?”
He looked around, nodding before he disappeared between the trees.
It was nearly magnetic the way you both clicked. It was nearly painful being apart from eachother after that night. He would come to your window and sneak into your room almost every night. The following school year you finally went to the same school, Jin having convinced his parents he wanted to change schools. That’s when you both became inseparable. Years later he still snuck into your room, even though he could come through the front door, and still hid in your closet just to scare you. Although, you learned to growl back at him.
It was your normal, but at some point things began to change.
More specifically you were no longer kids. Puberty hit and you were no longer innocent to the maturity that began to bloom in you both. You knew Jin was always touchy. He would hug you and sometimes his hand would linger on you longer than necessary. He would lean in sometimes to smell you, nuzzling his nose against your temple. Initially it had bothered you, the sensation ticklish, but he had explained it quickly it was a werewolf thing. That didn’t change the way your heart would flip each time though.
Jin grew taller than you towering over you, and signs of man began replacing the baby fat. Time was good to him. He found a pack and you no longer spent every waking moment together. It wasn’t that you weren’t welcome, the six boys in his pack were nice, but you had your own group of friends that you began hanging out with. You suppose that was the beginning of the unraveling of your relationship. Naïve and feeling lost you latched onto the first group that accepted you.
Even if they weren’t good for you. You were becoming aware of popularity and boys as it was the only topic they choose to discuss. You began to feel self-conscious because your friends all had boyfriends before, but you still hadn’t. When you introduced the girls to Jin, your presence was made solely into providing information about the boys. The pack were isolationist, but you suppose that’s what made them more attractive besides their looks to hormonal teenage girls. Only now do you realize they accepted you was because you knew Jin and his friends. Specifically, one of the girls, Jenna—if you could remember correctly, would always asking you about Jin.
The breaking point was when Jenny, who knew of your obvious unrequited crush, finally asked you. “You wouldn’t mind if I ask him out right?”
“Jin?” You repeated his name as if you were unsure you heard her right. Although you heard his name coming out of her mouth more times than you can count.
“Yeah, Jin. I mean, you don’t like him, right?” Like a snake she drew out the last words, expression full of pity to resemble comfort. It didn’t help when the other girls at the table all had a similar expression, encouraging her and cornering you.
“I-I—.” You were cut off as another girl spoke up.
“Be real Jenny, they’ve been friend since forever. If he liked Y/n, he would’ve said so already. He doesn’t see her that way.”
The other girl sitting next to her laughed, “Totally doesn’t.”
Blinking back the tears, her words weren’t wrong. Embarrassment flushes through you. Embarrassed that you had even believed that Jin’s affection towards you could ever mean more. The fact that he had made your heart skip a beat. Swallowing your heartache, with a voice more confident than you felt, “Yeah. We’re only friends.”
Squeals and laughter echo out throughout the table in excitement. “Oh my god! Then when you two start dating, you should introduce us to the rest of the friends. I mean Y/n hasn’t done it, but I know you will.”
You were quickly forgotten. The bell rang and the all of them got up as they giggled and walked away to their classes. Sitting alone at the table, you stare at your tray, food partially nibbled on. A single tear falls down onto the table before you suck up the other that threatened to fall. How could you be so stupid. How could you have misread things all along? You get up from the table in a hurry, nearly tripping as your foot caught.
As you step out of the bench of the picnic table you make eye contact with Jin who had been standing at a lunch table a few tables away. The rest of the pack moving around him, but he was still staring at you.
Your embarrassment flushes deeper, had he had heard it all? Your heart breaks even further as you force a smile at him and he returned the gesture. The simple response solidifies everything—you’re just friends.
You miss the way his eyes follow you out of the lunchroom.
The heartache only gets worse as Jin begins making excuses on why he can’t hang out. Claiming he has pack things to deal with. You also begin making excuses no longer hanging out with the girls, even though they don’t seek you out. You instead dedicating your time in the library. You begin reading the books tucked away in the furthest corner of the library, vintage leatherbound books on laws, just to distract yourself. It becomes your new solace.
A few months pass, the sudden silence between you became increasingly awkward. You hadn’t realized how Jin was entangled with every single part of your life. You grew annoyed because your parents would always ask where Jin was. The visible change was when you began noticing the extra portion at the dinner table for him was no longer there. The look they began to give you, seeing the distress in you began to wear you thin.
Deciding enough was enough you decide to confront him, but still cowardly enough to do it between passing. Walking through the halls you headed towards his lockers, knowing he’d be there. His locker just a bit in from an intersection of the halls. When you finally catch sight of him he stood there with two other boys form his pack, Jimin and Hoseok. You swallowed hiding behind the wall where you could hear them, waiting for the two to leave so you could get to speak to him alone.
“Come on hyung. Come on another run tonight.” You could hear Jimin asking
Jin closed his locker after switching out his books then leaning up against it. “I can’t tonight.”
“Why? Gotta go see your girlfriend?” Jimin teases.
Jin hesitated.
You couldn’t see his expression from your place. Your heart sunk, lower lip trapped between your teeth. Had Jenny finally asked him out? Your heart was beating out of your chest.
“No, fuck off Jimin, you already know why.”
Your brows furrow. Has something been going on with Jin? How come he hasn’t told you. He used to tell you everything. You miss the conversation slightly as you contemplate what you’ve been missing with Jin. You had so much to ask him. The question on the tip of your tongue too was –had he finally fully shifted? He had always told you that he had wanted you to be the first he showed his wolf.
Zoning back in you hear Hoseok question. “Come to think of it, haven’t seen Y/n in a while, she doing okay?”
“Normally you’re like a dog in heat around her.”
“No I’m not! I don’t see her like that.”
“You sure?”
“I don’t have time for feelings or emotions.”
You cover your mouth, swallowing your feeling. You suffocate the tears. Everything the girls said were confirmed.
Jin had been so engulfed in his protecting his ego, he hadn’t been able to sense you just around the corner. He then smells it. He smells you. His head twirled towards the wall where he knew you were hiding just behind. He knows your there. He clenched his fist, he wants to go after you but he can’t, it would only prove the teasing.
Clenching your books closer to your chest you run away. Your mind working a thousand miles an hour. Lost in your turmoil you miss that you’re walking straight into someone. Stumbling slightly you look up seeing the person you didn’t want to run into. You don’t pause to apologize or recognize her yelling at you. You needed to get away. The whole day you manage to evade him and everyone—you praise that it was Friday.
Coming home your parents were sitting in the kitchen, the only light on in the house was hanging over the dinning table. Your parents look up at you sadly. “Honey, we have some bad news.”
Your backpack slouched off your shoulders and onto the floor as you took a seat.
Your mother swallowed, placing her hand on top of yours. “We’re moving. I’m sorry, Pumpkin. I know you have so many friends here. Your father’s job is forcing him to transfer to the city, the plant here is shutting down.”
You remain stoic, processing the information. However, you smile, squezzing her hand back in assurance. “How soon can we go?”  
Their expression registered shocked. Clearing their throats as they somberly told you, “We’re leaving next week.”
Nodding you get up from the table, leaving your parents apologizing to you. You dragged yourself to your room. Standing alone in the darkness, words found you again. “Not soon enough.”
You moved away, and soon what it was like to be around him everyday was forgotten. You became strangers. An unpleasant memory.
You had done college, and decided early on that you wanted to go into law. Those leather bound, vintage law books was the only thing you actively brought with you from the past. Law was consistent, but ever changing. It allowed you to find a voice, a place where arguments meant something—your voice meant something. It paved the way for a new you and when you entered law school you flourished under the pressure. Everything felt like progress, at least until the day you showed up at the internship. You no longer had the luxury of pretending. Standing in the attorney’s office was Jin among the two other interns. Seeing him first saw him again felt like all wind had been sucked out of you. It was like a ghost had aspirated and so did the sting of rejection. It was all accompanied by an odd sense of longing that passed through you. You saw the way his eyes widened with recognition when he saw you.
But you both made no motion towards the other, frozen in space and time.
Ironically, time should have done its job and all healing had been done, but scars were just thicker scabs.
The nostalgia quickly washed away as it twisted into the familiar shape of disdain towards him. He was brilliant and It was irritating, so you always were sharp with him, cold even, not willing to lose to him. A rivalry quickly evolved between you. He seemed to feel the same way as he would always retaliate back. You couldn’t last a few minutes without bickering. Words just as venomous and an amused smirk always followed.
“What are you doing? Did I mess up a secret meeting?” He throws your question back at you, grounding you back into the present.
Looking at Seokjin now, he had grown up well. He had grown in height, completely towering over you. His shoulders were broad tapering off like a V to a tiny wait. He looked great in an all black suit. Thick, dark hair pushed away from his face showed off his thick brows and symmetric features. You had eyes, but your mouth would never admit it out loud how good he looked.
Rolling your eyes, you sighed, running a hand through your hair. “Avoiding Logan.”
“Logan?” You missed the way his red eyes darken deeply as it looks black. He had heard the footsteps, but now he could put a name to it. “Are you fucking him?” He questions easily, never one for a filter.
Your eyes widen, the crudeness expected despite your aggressive bickering. “Are you seriously asking me that Seokjin?” The though was so absurd and ridiculous. Has he lost his mind. What more you had never even touched this type of topic with him before, who was he to ask about your sex life.
He tucked his hands into the pocket of his slacks. “I don’t know, it’s just an obvious conclusion to draw. Considering he follows after you like a lost puppy.” He feigned a look of pity. “It’s pathetic.”
The tone he takes with talking about Logan surprises you. He never outwardly showed that the man irritated him. You had seen them chatting around the office even. Considering your desk were next to one another it was inevitable. Anger filled you again, was he calling it pathetic because he was pursuing you? Bastard.
Lazily he leaned up against the shelf, as if he was waiting for a reaction he knew he’d get from you.
“I can’t deal with you right now.” you groan, an onset headache coming on from how childish it all was. Growing frustrated and hotter by the second stuck in the closet with him. You turned to leave.
“Leaving so soon? Don’t you want to wait for him to come back around?”
“Seokjin, will you cut it out. What is with you right now?”
He shrugged, still measuring you with a hardened gaze and lips tight in anger. “Nothing.”
Why was he so angry? Earlier you had noticed that all the bigwigs were laughing easily at his jokes. Something you couldn’t deny about Seokjin was his charisma. It was easy be persuaded by him, you used to be stupid enough to be swayed by it too. Shouldn’t he be on cloudy nine, probably having already solidified a job post grad.
“Whatever. Enjoy your night Seokjin. Don’t suck off potential employers too much.”
That had him laughing. “Ever one to need footsteps to be followed. Lead the way then.”
You glare at him in what you picture to be intimidating at him. Pulling open the door. “Fuck you Seokjin.”
You stomped away, faintly hearing the laughing coming from the closet. Luckily, no one was in the hallway.
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You had been aimlessly staring at an one of the many orange sticky notes you had tacked onto the glass pane between the desk. Pink was current deadlines, orange upcoming, and blue was for your frustrations. The low cubicles truly didn’t provide privacy, but it wasn’t permanent anyways so you didn’t really put effort into personalizing it. You were trying to read the orange sticky note with the date November 29th ominously written on it. You couldn’t for the life of you remember what was due on that date. The pink note next to it reading the date December 4th was a blaring reminder of the last day of your internship.
Awakening from your thoughts you heard Logan still been droning on to you about whatever he was talking about. You had stopped listening after he called your name, you hummed like you were paying attention, then zoned out. He was leaning on the glass, his desk situated right next to yours. Jin’s was situated across from yours, but he wasn’t at his desk at the moment. At least that saved you a headache.
Your phone rings and you answer it instantly, cutting off whatever he was saying. You give him a pretend fake smile, one to which he luckily accepts sitting back at his desk. Its quick as the secretary is hanging up on you before you can tell her that you’ll be there in a moment. Gathering your things, taking an extra pen just in case, you head towards the elevators.
Knocking on the door twice you let yourself in quietly behind you. Your boss was a passive man, preferring those to act than be told what to do. Turning around taking in the office before pausing noticing the back of someone’s head already sitting in one of the two chairs in front of the desk. The chair meant to occupy your boss was empty.
Remembering where you are you and ignoring him as you stride until you plop yourself into the empty seat. You refuse to look at him, instead sorting out your tablet to take notes on. You just had to wait until your boss came in the room—you could be patient. You had a vague idea of what he may want to talk to you about, but with Jin here you were at a lost. What was he doing here anyways? Had the secretary gotten his appointments mixed up? It’s been two weeks since the event. You had spoken to him since, but it had been the usual bickering. Something had changed though, it was something atmospheric between the two of you, but you couldn’t place an instance on the beginning of the feeling. Oddly, you found yourself searching for him whenever you came to the office, which had brought its own set of turmoil that you’ve yet to unravel. Now that you were sitting next to him, somehow you felt the sense of pettiness overcome you again.
Finally looking at him you notice how great he looked today. He wore common slacks and a button up, but he made the ensemble look great.
Jin asked, “What are you here for?”
Crossing your legs over you flip open your notebook. “None of your business Kim.” You hate that you had done such a good job hiding the layers of hatred and anger, but you could even recognize the coldness in your tone.
He rolled his eyes, “Typical.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m just saying.”
“Clue me in Seokjin.”
He shrugged, clearly wanting you to put the pieces together. Rubbing at your scalp muttering under your breath. “It’s too early for this,” checking your watch, “it’s only eight-thirty in the morning, I haven’t had my coffee yet, and I have to deal with guy.”
“That explains your snappiness. You do seem constipated.”
You audibly gasp, a retort on the tip of your tongue when the door burst open to reveal your boss. A grin already on Jin’s face knowing he got the last word in before he neutralizes it. Paying you both no mind he continued grumbling into his phone that’s tucked between his neck and ear as his other hand holds a cup of coffee and a stack of paperwork in the other. Min Yoongi, your boss, was a man of few words elusive at times, but his tongue was sharper than any knife. His mind was brilliant too, a legend amongst law students. you had heard stories of his infamous mock trials when he was in school and how he had won trails out like a daredevil. He was intimidating to say the least.
Jin’s gaze was still on you before he turned to your boss who plopped into his chair. He seems frazzled, tie a bit disheveled and dress shirt not as freshly pressed as it should be. The fact that you looked kept together in front of him was kind of embarrassing. It was common sense that interns should look that way. Did his appearance have something to do with the 29th? Shit, you really needed to figure out what event was happening that day.
He flung a thick packet in a folder over to you and Jin. You flipped open the folder and read the first page. Peaking over from yours to Seokjin’s you see he was given the exact same paper.
“I’m assigning this case to the both of you.”
“Mr. Min, I don’t mean to impose on your judgement, but I can handle this on my own.” You squinted as you read it over. It seems like a generic divorce case based on the short preliminary interview.
“Can you?” Jin quirked a brow at you. You already have insults on the tip of your tounge but he continued. “Look, I’m just saying because remember that one time—.”
You bark out his name before he can continue, already knowing what story he was going to reference.
“Mr. Kim, Ms. Y/L/N.” You both instantly shut up. “If you both are treating this opportunity simply as some game between the both of you then I’m sorry to inform you that you may not be needed anymore. This is court of law. So tell me—do I need to provide this opportunity to someone else?”
At the same time you both respond. “No, Sir.”
The way he was glaring at the both of you had your toes curling in your shoes.
“Look, Ms. Y/L/N, I’ll admit you are smart, just as much as I think Mr. Kim is capable of handling his own cases. I need the both of you on it because this isn’t an ordinary case. It won’t only go to trial in court, but Kinds court too.”
The only thing you hadn’t expected to come to find out was he was also a kind. Kind being something they used in the human world to refer to their supernatural counterpart for political correctness. One afternoon not long into your internship, but months ago, you had called Jin wolf boy in the breakroom, not knowing your boss was walking in. Anyone else would think it was a passing comment, but the narrowed look that he gave you had you crystalizing. It had become second nature to you identifying when someone was otherly. Yoongi only commented as he walked out to make sure that you both keep it that only you knew.
Jin stiffened next to you, his gaze snapping up to look at Yoongi. An exchange of glances went between them that you couldn’t quite decipher.
“Seeing as you already know about our kind Ms. Y/L/N, I would like that you both work on this together. Prepare it for the courts and depending on how it goes there the Kind’s will deal with it following. Frankly, we need you on this case to keep things right on the human end. And Seokjin we need you because you have the knowledge that comes with it. I expect the both of you can approach this and prepare a case that is thorough. We cannot risk the underlying truth getting out to the public. Dress it up how you have to, leave the kind out of it until human laws can punish as needed.” He centers you both with a stare that’s unwavering, even you feel the expressive. “Do I make myself clear.”
“Yes.” Simultaneously you both respond.
Yoongi finally sits back taking a sip from his coffee that was still just a little too hot. “Everything you need is in the folder. Now get out.”
Beginning to gather you stuff, relaxing your jaw just a bit, “Thank you Sir.” You stride out of the room without looking back.
You leave not bothering to hold it for him. He was right behind you, closing the door so it wouldn’t slam shut. He watched as you strut down the hall. He huffed realizing you weren’t going to wait to talk about the case. Calling your name does no good as you still keep towards the elevators.
When the door closes, you take a moment. Truth be told, the gravity of it is not lost on you. This was going to force you and him to be close again. Backing down would prove you and the grin that would be on Seokjin’s face knowing you gave up would be enough to keep you up at night for the rest of your life. You swear you could handle it. It is just Seokjin. Your career depends on this and doing well.
But why was your heart beating so fast?
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Sitting in an empty conference room, you were going over the material again. It seemed like a regular case of infidelity and the wife was filing for divorce. After Min’s pressing of the importance of this case it felt like he was mocking you. This was a case that felt “practical”. In school you had gone over these types of cases a thousand times—introduction on legal fairness and getting the most for your client. Just because it involved the kind doesn’t mean the law will treat it any different.
At least that’s what it all seemed to be.
Standing up from your seat when you heard the door handle clicking open you put on a an air of professionalism. A short woman, who nearly curled in on herself shuffled into the room. Her blue cardigan nearly engulfed her being, but her maxi dress underneath disguised most of her petite figure anyways. A male followed behind her with a hand on her back. That had you breaking your professionalism for a split second as you lifted your brow. The way he held her was anything but platonic. You wondered shortly if that was the man in the ex-husband in question.
Extending your hand out to her in greeting. “Hello, Ms. West, I’m Y/N. Pleasure to meet you.”
In the softest voice she greeted you back. You turn to greet the male he introduced himself as Damien Caldwell. With your hand still out towards him, he refused to shake your hand. Mentioning something along the lines of scent tainting. Pretending you understood you signaled them to take a seat.
You all take a seat with Jin next to you and them across.
Carefully observing her you monitor that she was fidgeting a lot, clearly nervous.
Jin glanced at you and his expression was conveying, “Stop it, you’re making her nervous.”
You forced a smile in his direction, reading into his silent message. “Fine.”
Jin adjust himself, pen in hand gesturing towards them. “Mrs. Gloria West , can you please restate your case?” Although you both had the intake form in front of you, you needed her to state clearly what she was here for.
She begins fidgeting, biting her lip tears welding up in her eyes. Damien gently began rubbing her back. “You can do this. This is your story to tell.”
She nods, sniffling, finally looking up and you finally get a glimpse of her face. Her delicate features look worn out, dark circles under her eyes.
Your features soften, and you give her a genuinely soft smile. Handing her a tissue she thanked you softly. Dabbing the corners of her eyes she began, “My,” she licked her lips as if uttering the words brought bitterness to her, “husband has been cheating on me. I found out he has another family.” She reached into her purse pulling out a card that says Happy Father’s Day. “I found it in his underwear drawer when I was putting his clothes away last week.”
Jin followed up. “You’ve previously stated that your husband has claimed you, is this correct?”
“Yes.” She pushed aside the collar of her cardigan exposing the flaring bite marks where fangs met skin.
Pen pausing on paper you forced your jaw to stay closed. You hadn’t really prepared yourself for what claiming really meant. The primal signature was jarring. The two puncture wounds looked poorly scared, the tissue surrounding it somehow still rejecting the mark.
She covered it up again. “I was young and naïve when we first met, just out of high school and didn’t have much experience. He was five years my senior. I didn’t understand what it all meant at the time. I thought the butterflies I got seeing him meant he was my mate. I was hopelessly in love.” Tears brimmed in her eyes again, but she sniffled preventing them from falling.  “He told me I was his mate. I believed him. I let him mark me.” She spoke the words as if they burned her. “We got married three years ago, right after he marked me.”
You were disgusted, stomach unsettled, forced marriage seemed so archaic. Your fist curled under the table. You didn’t understand the depth of what happened in the kind context, but it still irked you. You didn’t let it show on your face though.
Damien was getting restless, clearly irate.
Jin visibly tensed. You see his jaw clench. You fill in for him. “Daniel West, your husband, how did you know he wasn’t your mate?” The word sounded unfamiliar in your mouth. You had heard it spun around before, but never truly knew the meaning. Although you could conclude that it seemed to imply partner.
She looked to Damien and her face seemed to lighten up, dark circles diminishing, as she looked at him. He had the same look at her. Clearly you could tell they were in love. “I found Damien. I knew it was the real thing because it hurt being apart. I couldn’t get him out of my head. Just a touch and it felt electric. I can’t explain it, but I just…knew. I just knew he was it.”
“Is there any other signs of another partner or family?”
“He smells like her.” She swallowed harshly. “He smells like other women too, but her the most.”
“Is there any other factors that are telling? Like photo evidence?”
“No.” You tilted your head considering it over. You couldn’t use smell in court to prove infidelity. You breathed in harshly, slouching forward. How were you supposed to find evidence?
Jin hasn’t spoken the entire time, lost in thought and focusing on the incoming information. “Are there any children?”
She nodded.
“How many? Please identify them.” She goes on to list two children, one three years old and a newborn.  
Jin stared at the Damien for a moment. “I know this is a sensitive question, however, I must ask this. Did you mark him?”
It seems Jin had already predicted Damien’s response as the sound of paper crumpling in Damien’s fist was loud. His fist shook form the strength of his anger. Gloria reached over grabbing onto his leg, and his grip loosened up slightly.
She apologized to him. His fist completely unclenched as both of his hands cupped her face. “No, no, no, honey. Don’t apologize. None of this is your fault. You know that right.”
She closed her eyes, calming and basking in the affection. “I know.”
You blushed yourself, feeling as if you had intruded in an intimate moment. You can’t help but follow your instincts telling you to look at Jin. You feel like you see Seokjin for who he is, not how you’ve constructed him. At the same time you find yourself suddenly reminded—he was different. Stern and cold, eyes empty of all the things that used to make him goofy. It was as if you had lost the dictionary. Unable to translate a language that was once native to you. His quirky awkward fillers and jokes have matured into standards. He holds punctuation in his tone, powerful. Calculating in a way you didn't know he could be. Your eyes follow the curve of his plump lips, the curve of his nose and then the entire profile. It feels intimate.
You pause and wonder if Seokjin has a mate. Did he look at them like that too?
You pause diffusing those thoughts, you shouldn’t be thinking of him that way. Focusing back on the case at hand you know mating is something that cant be proven scientifically. It’s a feeling.
She blushed, taking both of her mates hands into hers and placing them on her lap. With more confidence she turned back to you both. “No. I didn’t know then that it had to be both. Daniel told me that marking me would be enough for the both of us. I didn’t realize it until later. When I brought it up he told me I was wrong, that I didn’t know any better. That people were just trying to put ideas into my head and he knew best. I believed him, until I felt the real feeling.”
“You will have a trail before the elders after this, are you aware of that?” Jin says.
“Yes.”
With a thoughtful pause, Jin smiled reaching out to shake their hands. “That concludes questions for today. Thank you both for your time.”
Reaching out to Gloria, you shake her hand, “You’re very brave for this. We’ll do whatever we can to help.”
She smiled, patting your hand. “Thank you.”
You help escort them to the door and they assure you they know the way out. Shutting the door with a click you find Seokjin hunching over his notes. All sense of comfort he offered earlier and professionalism drained form him.
Eyeing him curiously, you asked, “What’s wrong?”
“This…this…this is worst case scenario.” He says.
“Can’t she just get rid of the mark? Things like this are reversable right? She found her mate,” you say the last word with uncertainty as its unfamiliar on your tongue. Logical solutions are the only way you can navigate.
“No, Y/n. it doesn’t work like that.” Voice accusatory.
You shrink, feeling as he had called you stupid indirectly. His fingers couldn’t stop fidgeting over the papers, unable to look at you. “The mark is permanent and can’t be undone. She’s bound to him, but he wasn’t.” He raises his voice towards the end.
“Why are you getting angry?”
When he looked up at you his eyes are red. “You don’t get it.”
You falter. His words hit hard and ring like a ghost putting you back into your old room. Those words engraved like a scar on your heart. Pulling back the scar you are put back in time.
Pacing more folded clothes in the cardboard boxes you glance out your window. It was a full moon.
You couldn’t sleep so you began packing, you were due to move out the following day.
Standing up, you went to the window, staring at the moon. Your eye follows the bush and thick trees that line the property. The night seemed to be so quiet and clear. You felt suffocated in your room, your thoughts making you claustrophobic. You pushed open the window, carefully to make the least noise as possible. Going back to your boxes you fished out a jacket and put on shoes. You slipped through and hit the grass with a thud. Closing your window behind you, you turn back towards the beginning of the forest.
Suddenly a wave of sadness fills you as you remember how Jin used to always come through the same bushes to see you. Clenching your fist and tucking your jacket tighter over you, you force the thoughts of Jin out of your head.
You push pass the bushes, the light of the moon enough to light your way. You follow a faint overgrown carved out path.  In all truth you had only ventured out a few times into the forest each time with him. Jin had always warned you that it wasn’t safe, but he wasn’t here to tell you otherwise. You could make your own choices. Remembering that there was a small ravine nearby you began heading towards it knowing it was somewhere nearby. The sounds of crickets was the only thing you heard besides the crunching of your shoes on mulch.
The air grew noticeably heavier with a mist and you could hear the soft sound of water running. Heading down a slope you end up at the shore of a riverbed. The water was running gently over the darkened stones underneath, just a bit further down the river picked up, frothing as it hit protruding stones. You dip your hand into the spring water, the cold causing you to shiver.
For a moment you can imagine that it’s just you in the world.
Tomorrow this would be all but a dream.
From across the bed, along the other shoreline, twigs crunch. Ripping your hand form the water you freeze in place.  Scanning the shoreline, you couldn’t see anything. Your mind pictured a thousand things it could be. Even in the dark you could make out red eyes looking at you. The being shifted to an opening on the shoreline before taking on the large silhouette of wolf. Its fur was black, dark as the sky.
You stayed put, afraid to rile it up by running despite all instincts saying to do so. It stepped closer, entering the water and trudged closer to you. You weren’t ready to die. It held your gaze the entire time. As it grew closer the wolf was larger than what you’d expect to be average, it was more comparable to a grizzly bear.
It kept coming closer and your heart even louder in your ears. You lost your balance falling on your ass with a shriek. You weren’t quick enough to recover as it was hovering over you. You could feel its hot breath fanning over you with its heavy breaths. It growled and your muscles tensed in fear. It just hovered over you, you wondered if it was waiting for you to make a move.
Willing your eyes to open, all at once you felt like you had recognized the beast. “J-Jin?”
Sensing your fear, it then whined. Then he is shifting, limbs elongating and spine curving as he growled through the process. You can’t bear to look at him as you hear the sound of bone cracking and popping. The sound having goosebumps pill your flesh.
"What are you doing out here?" His voice was deep and cold, lacking its usual warmth. When you turn to look at him you no longer see a massive wolf but Jin. His eyes were still red and you stare, trapped within the color. It’s the first time you’ve ever seen it. The tattered clothing that had stuck to his previous form manifested in torn pants, but he was shirtless.
Wrinkling your nose. Just when you thought you could get away from him, he manifest. “I can be here if I want. Who are you to say I can’t?”
His wolf hadn’t settled, taking your challenge personal rather than rational. “Its too dangerous.”
“We haven’t spoken in so long and the first thing you do is yell at me.”
His expression softened, but he still appeared stern. “Go home.”
“Really Jin?”
“Go home!”
“Do you really not care about me? What you said to Jimin, is it really true?”
When he remained quiet, you found your answer. You bit your lip, forcing yourself to suffocate the tears.
“You don’t understand.” He heaved.
“Obviously, so why! Why won’t you talk to me!” Your nerves finally snap. Tears were prickling at your eyes regardless of how much you fought to keep them down.
“Can’t you give me some space! You just need to give me space sometimes.”
“No! This isn’t you, you’d tell me everything. There are no secrets between us. I want answers. Is it that easy to you to throw away everything we have?”
He growled and stepped up to you, inches away looking down at you. Your neck was kinked back staring back at him with equal challenge. His nostrils flare as he takes in your sense. His chest rumbled.
“I don’t want you to know! I don’t want you know about that part of me. So stay out of it! Leave it alone and me alone. I don’t need you.”
Feeling so small, it hadn’t occurred to you that he didn’t see you as important enough. You hated how much you had relied on him. You feel like a child whining to a parent. Maybe the girls were right. Jin would never look at you like that. You were an outsider to his real world anyways. “Fine. You know what, you’re right I don’t understand and never will. I see what I mean to you now.” Tears were rolling down your cheeks but you swiped them away as soon as they broke.
“Y/n.” The anger melted away from his being instantly, realizing what he said. He wants to take it all back, but he can’t find the right words. He stepped towards you and you took two steps back. You wanted to get away from him.
“You’ll never have to see me again.” You laughed, but it wasn’t in humor, instead full of bitterness.
“What?”
“I’m leaving.”
“What do you mean leaving?”
“What do you care Jin? Aren’t you getting what you want? You don’t need me. You’ll never have to worry about me getting in your business or caring about you again. I’m moving tomorrow.”
“Goodbye.” You turned away from him. His red eyes imprinting in your memory like a branding. You swore before you turned away you saw tears, but you refused to believe it.
He had made his bed, now he had to lay in it.
When you remained quiet, Jin began packing his stuff quietly realizing his outburst. You can only assume he remembered the same thing.
Sighing heavily he tries to dispel the anger, his eyes flashing back to normal. “We’ll discuss things later.”
You hate that it makes your heart sink. You don’t like that he’s pushing you away. He had done it before, but he wasn’t going to do it again. “Of course I don’t, so explain it to me now.”
He ignores you and makes towards the door. Before he makes it you grab onto his forearm. “Will you listen. Don’t walk away from me.”
His body stiffens instantly, although his chest was still heaving. When he turns to look at you, you let go of him like you had been burned. You crossing your arms over your chest protectively. Knowing he no longer plans to leave you follow up, “Look, I don’t know as much as I thought. Don’t punish me for it. I just want to solve this case as you do.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I just…imagining someone claiming—.“
Your chest deflated too with his reaction it gave you an unspoken conclusion. He had a mate. You should’ve known better than to let your thoughts trail on earlier. Instead you focused on his apology. “We need to work together right? This is our last case here and we can get through this professionally.”
“Can we?”
You smirked, “I can behave if you can.” You straightened up, extending out your hand to him, “Let’s call a truce or something.”
He accepted it, but still held onto it which was something you didn’t expect. “Something?”
“I mean do you have a better status to call whatever this is?”
“Truce implies I hate you. I don’t hate you.”
The way Seokjin looked at you felt like he was truly looking at you. You almost felt paralyzed as you couldn’t look away. His words felt—genuine. But you refused to lean into that, you didn’t want to read into his words too much. You rolled your eyes, unconvinced pulling your hand out of his. “Okay, alright, I said behave”
“Really. I don’t.” Weakly he smiled.
“So truce or not?”
“Okay.” He answered.
“Okay.” You repeat back.
“Good.”
“Yeah.”
“Give me your phone.”
You pulled out your phone and handed it to him. He saved his phone number, calling himself, before handing it back. “Don’t abuse it now.”
You scoffed, nearly choking on your own saliva. Unable to stop yourself from laughing in disbelief. “You wish.”
He genuinely laughed, the high pitch sound unique and squeaky. Turning to leave, he paused in the doorway looking over his shoulder. “Another thing.”
You hummed, looking at him expectantly. You saw the cheeky smirk before it bloomed. “Keep the messaging to during the daylight hours, alright.”
“Seokjin!”
He closed the door quickly behind him, evading your spitfire.
He isn’t sinking back into your life. You aren’t even friends. You both were going to go your separate ways after the internship, and you were never likely to run into him again.
You had nothing to lose.
Truce.
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Shutting the door behind you a bit harder than necessary, you toe off your heels and hook your keys up.
Your roommate, Mia, was already sprawled out on the couch. Slumping right next to her and crowding her out. The sounds you emit sounded like a deflating air mattress as you groan.
“Yikes, that bad of a day?” Shuffling to adjust herself again on the couch.
Closing your eyes you nodded. She laughed, clearly not buying the way you played victim. “What did he do today?”
Mia had been a friend you made during college, and quickly became your closets friends. When you both graduated you found yourself needing someone to roommate with while job searching and grad school stuff. You had found out about her being a Kind early on in your sharing of home. She was more surprised to find out that you had already known about it. That’s when you told her about your childhood, leaving out names, all until recently where she was too smart and connected the dots. Wolves and their intuition.
“Okay, first off, not everything isn’t about him. And secondly, how dare you be right about it.”
She laughed, her laptop nearly falling off her lap. You loath her, her and her perceptiveness. She was smart, but sometimes too smart for your own good. “It just—he’s so irritating! I just said one wrong thing today and he exploded. Then we had a truce and get this, he said he didn’t hate me.” Confessing all on your own, you felt accosted just by her silence.
Her eyebrow quirked at that, followed by a cheshire grin. “You two getting along now then? Is that’s what’s upsetting you?”
“No. It’s just—he played the good guy and it made me feel stupid. I have been doing my best and then he comes along and makes me feel—ughh! It’s just this case is stressful. I feel way out of my depths.”” You have your hands in the air scratching at the air.
“Leave then.” She shrugged, stating the obvious solution. She already had let this type of complaining go in one ear and out the other. Since the beginning of your internship you had come home and vented about your day, mostly revolving around him as the topic of choice. How he irritated you that day, or simply breathed the wrong way. Even to yourself, the amount of time he has been able to rile you up lately has become annoying.
“I can’t just leave, you know how hard I worked for this. You know how important this place is. Besides, I need it to graduate.”
“Well then, why were you arguing anyways? What does this have to do with your case?”
“Everything to do with it.”
She nodded. Realizing it must not be within your realm she opens up, “Need insight?”
You shifted on the couch tucking your legs underneath you. “What’s marking or ‘laying claim’?”
She turned to you, “Are you serious?” For the first time in your friendship you saw her blush. She was always forthcoming with sexuality and whatnot, so this was out of character for her.
“Yes.”
“Did he ask you about it?”
You squinted at her, “No, why?”
She cleared her throat, waving her hand, “No, nothing.”
“Well its not PG-13.” She licked her lips.
“Well thank goodness I’m not a virgin maiden in waiting. What is it? You’re stalling.” Her reaction made you infinitely more curious.
“Okay, well honey, when two mates, who love eachother very much—.”
“Oh god, stop it, please be serious for once!”
She laughed. “Fine. It’s a sacred ritual that connects two mates together. Or in layman terms, two soulmates together via a bite mark. It acts like rings? But its more than that. Its hard to explain.”
“Soulmates?” You suffocated the scoff. Out of all things she said to be appalled at. “That doesn’t exist.”
She smiled at you. “They do! You humans just don’t believe it because you’ve corrupted the system.”
“So it can’t it just be anyone? You know, fall in love and just know that person is it, the one?”
She shook her head. “No, it’s this instinctual feeling. This soul connection. You’ll know it when you feel it kind of thing.”
“Ugh, that’s what she said too.” You rubbed at your temples. “I can’t use a feeling as evidence.”
You sighed, “I can’t tell you about the case, but hypothetically if this happened. Hypotheticals only.”
She suffocated a laugh, rolling her wrist in a circle, hand gesturing for you to continue.
“So hypothetically, the client was hypothetically marked by someone other than her mate. What does that mean—hypothetically?”
Her face sobered, “Are you serious?”
You nodded.
Fiddling with her fingernails, she looked genuinely troubled. “How can that even happen?” She mumbled to herself before she turned to you. “I don’t know of any worse punishment. The pain that comes with that either is unimaginable. It’s violation of not only culture, but its inhumane. The human equivalency of forced marriage, but even then that equivalency doesn’t compare how bad it is. Murder, maybe?”
“What would happen to the one who bit the other…hypothetically?”
“Normally, death. There would be a match between the actual mate and the one who bit until death, but times have changed. The punishment is still severe.”
You take pause realizing how serious it all was. You weren’t sold to the idea of love, or soulmates, but being forced in a marriage the idea made you sick. You finally could see why Seokjin was so upset earlier. Sighing heavily you let your head fall back on the couch onto the cushion stared at the ceiling. How could you find evidence against this guy then?
“We gotta make him pay.” Looking towards her. “Do you think a guy who has a separate family would leave a paper trail?”
“You just need to find his social accounts. Cheaters usually have multiple accounts under different pseudonyms. Their downfall though is that most guys are stupid enough to not undo the geo tag or take the photos all in the same place.”
“I’ve already looked into it. He only has one account. It’s pretty generic, nothing telling.”
“But have you?” She gave you this side eye. “He must have a fake account then. Probably all his closets friends follow it, so we just have to find a similar name that seems to be a generic account.” The whole time she had been speaking to you she had been doing the research.
“Done.”
Your jaw dropped. She did that so fast. Could you blame her though, as an IT specialist she knew the ins and outs of things like this.
“You evil genius!” She pulled it back to herself, you scooching to sit next to her so you can watch what she does. Scrolling through, she squinted. “Seems he recently was on this page.” She clicked on link bringing up a page to a club named Fluxx. Scrolling through you both catch a comment under an event from West. The DJ who was playing there apparently was his favorite, him and his boys were going to be there to see it that weekend.  
She turned her laptop towards you. “You’d think he’s in college still.”
“What if…what if I go. I’m sure he isn’t going to just party with his friends. I’m sure he’s going to be there looking for his next victim.”
She shut her laptop, scowling at you. “No. Absolutely not.”
You pout, “Why not? You realize this give me the evidence I need to proof the case.”
“You don’t understand. It’s a club for others. Humans can’t get in here unless you’re someone’s play thing or—.”
“Or what?”
“With someone who is.”
You stare at her expectantly.
“No.”
“Come on!” You whine, tugging at her sleeve.
“No, this is dangerous!” She set her laptop on the coffee table, moving away from you so you couldn’t provoke her. Getting up form the couch she headed towards the kitchen. You sigh following after her. She reached into a cabinet for a mug.
“Don’t treat me like a child.”
She slammed down her mug, and you jumped. You had never seen her upset. She turned to you with a look of disbelief. “Child? This isn’t a game, y/n. You apparently don’t what kind of shit you’re getting into. My kind have to live in the shadows, and do you know what happens in the shadow.” Her comment was rhetoric.
You kept your mouth shut.
“Humans are no longer the superior race in there. Not all kinds are what you think. You’d get eaten alive the moment you let your guard down.”
“I didn’t go through all this trouble to find a good lead to get scared away by the what ifs. Besides, you’ll be there with me, right?”
“They’re not what ifs, y/n.”
“Yes, they are. You went there before and are standing here today.”
“Don’t get smart with me.”
“I’m not. I understand okay! I know you don’t think I do, but I do. I’ve heard it before and I don’t need to hear it from you!”
She turned to look at you with a pointed glare. You stood your ground.
She huffed preparing herself a drink. You stared at her back. For a moment you held doubt. What if she was right. What if you were getting yourself in something bigger than you anticipated. Picturing back to earlier in the day to Gloria and the amount of fear she had regarding her husband had your stomach sinking. The look that Seokjin had, the anger in him, and now hearing of the significance. The sense of justice found itself rooting in you even thicker.
“Alright.”
Pushing off the counter you were leaning on, Mia dropped the spoon she was using to swirl her drink in the sink noisily.
“You’re planning on going anyways aren’t you.”
Painting her with a look of exhaustion and resolve. “I am.”
“How?” she tossed her hands up in the air.
“I don’t know, I always figure things out somehow.”
She picked up her mug pushing past you then picking up her laptop going into her room. She slammed the door.
You slumped back onto the couch. Biting on your thumb. How were you supposed to get in now?
She came storming out of her room thirty minutes later. Rubbing her temples with a look of distress.
“Can’t you just hire a PI or something?”
“No, you yourself said being a kind is a secret. I can’t hire someone to watch him.”
She bit her lip, “Do you have to be this stubborn?”
You chuckled. “Yes. A woman’s life is going to be decided if or not I can prove her husband is a dick. Even if that means putting myself out there to prove it. I really want justice for her.”
“God, I really hate you sometimes.”
You smirked sitting up. “Does that mean you’ll get me in.”
“I swear to God if you get hurt—.”
“We won’t, I won’t.” You rushed towards her wrapping her in a hug. “Thank you, this means a lot. You know I wouldn’t ask something form you if I didn’t mean it right.”
She sighed. “Yes.”
“You owe me big time!”
“Whatever you want darling, the world is ours!”
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Finding yourself back at the office after finishing all your classes in the morning. You were exhausted. The week, on top of the internship, had been exam heavy. You found it difficult to raise your head from your desk. Luckily for you, the office was nearly empty including of the other three. All others were at their campus or otherwise. You purposefully came on this day to get your work done.
Your phone pinged, notifying you got a text. With your hand you blindly searched for your phone dragging it so you could look at it form your lap with your head still on the table.
You sat up when you noticed who had texted you. You blink at the ID a few times.
Partner in Crime [2:07 p.m.]: We should meet up to work on the case.
You knew enough to deduce it was Seokjin.
You [2:09p.m.]: Who’s this?
Partner in Crime [2:10p.m.]: Are you serious?
You [2:10p.m.]: I’m at the office now.
Pain in the ass [2: 12pm]: Can you meet me at my school’s library in thirty? The office is nearby. I’ll buy you a coffee.
Location sent.
You contemplate. You just wanted to go home. Deal with the case more after this weekend after going to the club. You want to present all your finding and seal the deal all in one session. However, the thought of coffee was convincing enough to have you texting back.
You [2:20pm]: Okay. Be there soon.
Pain in the ass [2:21pm]: I’ll meet you outside.
You found yourself standing outside of the library half an hour later, staring up at the towering building. This was their library? This looked more like a historical site. Well it explained why the tuition here was so expensive. He went to the ivy school, one of the best, if not the best, law programs in the nation. You eyed things with envy. You had applied for this school too, it was a dream of course. But you suppose going to state university granted you only so much prestige.  
“The clouds telling you something?” You jump when Jin comes up next to you.
You glare at him. He’s laughed. “Sorry, you looked so lost in your thoughts. Didn’t actually think I’d scare you. Here.” He handed you the other coffee in his hand.
You accepted it gladly, fingers feeling frozen, but pause. “You didn’t poison this right?”
“No, that’d be too easy.”
You nearly snort into your cup. “Spoken like a true soon to be lawyer.”
You miss the endearing stare he gives you as you begin walking up the stairs. He quickly catches up with you putting a hand on the small of your back when a large group of students come your way. He guides you up the stairs keeping you close with the abundant of students pouring in and out. You suppressed the squeak you wanted to let out. His hand was large and warm, the touch radiating through your coat. Your mind tells you you should move away, but you don’t. He leads you to the lower floor where to your surprise was just as magnificent as the base floor. The gothic architecture feels almost as if you’re entering a cathedral. The tables were dark oak wood and heavy looking ordered in long rows of five. Green banker lamps were in the center of each table basking the old scratched up wood in golden light.
Leading you to a table secondarily inward, he took a seat next to you.
Finding it odd, you debate on moving, but you neglect to comment on it. He settled into the seat looking none the more comfortable. Settling in you pulled out your laptop plugging it into an outlet underneath the table. You needed a second to re-center yourself. You didn’t like that you instead of revulsion like you expected to, you felt his presence give you a sense of security. It’s all dangerous, the feeling all too close to the ease you used to have with him.
“Have you come across any new leads?” Jin asked.
You quirked you head, having been so lost in your thoughts. “Huh?”
“New leads?”
“Oh, yeah.” You bring it up a on your laptop and show him. “I found his secret Bookface account. It’s even under a different name, Ethan Miller. He must have many identities and more accounts than this one.”
He brought his arm up resting it on the back of your chair, bringing the both of you closer. You flush thinking nothing of it as his thick thigh brushes yours as he leaned in.
“How’d you find it?” He clicks through the photo album. Pictures of ‘Daniel’ and children appear that look very much like him. Children who were not his with Gloria.
“I know people.”
He looked mildly impressed. “I see, if you tell you’ll have to kill me kind of scenario.”
Shrugging with a bit of pride you crossed your arms over your chest and leaned on the desk. Lamely you shot a single finger gun at him. Realizing how lame it was you quickly tucked your finger back into your fist and crossing your arms. When did you do lame things like that ever?  He laughed, and you tried to ignore the embarrassment.
“Anything else?” He was so close to you when he looked up. You couldn’t help but let your eyes flicker down to his lip for a second as he mouthed the words. You quickly brought them back up to his eyes, the dark chocolate color another vortex. Heat rises to your cheeks and he could probably hear your heart picking up in pace. It didn’t help that from how close he was you could smell the cologne he wore, which made you want to lean in and press your face to smell it from his skin. Heat flushes even hotter through you, how brazen of your thoughts were getting.
Remembering he asked you something you answer more breathier than you would like. “No.”
When he straightens up, you were glad he didn’t comment on it. You contemplated telling Jin where you were going, but you keep your mouth shut. You could handle it on your own, all you needed to do was bring the evidence.
You cross your legs attempting to move away from him.
He nodded, taking screenshots before moving on. He finds the photos of his other family just like you did, and the other woman too. He carefully zoomed in squinting at the image of the woman.
“She’s wearing a scarf and in a majority of them.”
“Didn’t take you to be in the fashion police.” That has him snorting a laugh before he goes back to the page. He looked around, finding no one in any of the other rows, you both completely had the basement floor to yourselves. “He must’ve marked her, or newly marked her when they took these photos. She’s trying to cover up the bruising.”
“Is that so abnormal?”
“Well, not necessarily. We just heal rapidly, cuts heal within hours. Marks do take a bit to heal, but it usually heals within a day if cared for properly. But just the way she hiding it and the bruising, It means she’s human. Kinds know marks aren’t meant to be covered up. They’re something sacred and to be worn proudly.”
“So…?”
With his head propped onto his hand he turned to you, eyes boring into you. That feeling arises in your stomach again. The way he was looking at you felt deeper than just a simple glance. You think back to when he said he didn’t hate you. The words still feel impossible.
“Human mates are rare.” Without letting you question it he says, “Bruising could mean it never healed because her body is rejecting him.”  
“Wouldn’t he be feeling some repercussions too? It’s a two-way thing right?”
“Yes, but it seems that he’s not being affected. Gloria would have mentioned illness or signs of hyper aggression.” He scrolls over the images. “You’d expect this kind of behavior from—.” Again he pauses, lost in though.
“From what?”
“A rogue.”
You squint. “English, please.”
He smiles at you. “An exiled wolf. When we don’t have a pack for too long our sense of direction becomes distorted. Signs are aggression, loss of humanity and morality, eventually they lose their its ability to revert.”
“And you think he’s one?”
He leaned back in his seat. “It’s plausible.”
“Let’s go through his account and gather more evidence. I can began transcribing the interview. We can do case search too if we have time.”
He nodded his head. You send him the link to West’s account and begin sectioning out the work. Surprisingly, you had worked quietly next together, no bickering. It was—pleasant.
“How’s school going?” His husky voice breaks you out of your concentration. He was still looking at the laptop and writing down notes.
You hummed. “Getting by, you?”
“Same.” He hums back and the lull begins again. You bite at your lip, curiosity getting the better of you. “Why did you decide to go to law school? Weren’t you going to become a chef?”
He had always told you when he was younger, he wanted to become a chef. “Duty called.”
“Let me guess, pack stuff?”
He nods, not missing the way you said it. “I’m expected to become a council member when I graduate. I’m going to take my father’s position and practice in the kind’s court.”
You didn’t know much about his family, things were always surface when you were younger. Playtime and other things taking precedence. You had no idea his father was a lawyer. You had only spoken to his parents a handful of times. His mother was the one who spoke to you mostly, his father was a stoic man.
“But, your dream?”
“I still cook, I just don’t do it professionally.”
“Do you regret it?”
“No, I’m happy.”
You thoughtful consider his words. It pains you a little to know he gave up his dream.
“How are they, your pack?”
A fatherlike smile comes on his face. “They’re all well, Namjoon is to be the next pack leader. The others are all doing their own thing, but they’re doing great.”
You smile, the fond memories of the boys resurfacing. “I miss them.”
“Why’d you leave then?”
There it is. The conversation the both of you had been avoiding this whole time. You had asked him something so personal and now he was returning it. The implication of the question wasn’t only why you left town, but him. You knew that, both physically and emotionally. You don’t know if you could offer him that though.
Abruptly your smile leaves you. “My dad got a job here in the city. I had no choice.” Your tone was frigid despite how much you wanted it to sound neutral.
“That’s the only reason?” He didn’t buy it. Based on his tone he sounded hurt. Knowing there was another reason. You hated that he could still read you.
You shrug, maintaining your stance. “Yes.”
“Bullshit.” His voice comes out clipped and sharp.
“What other reason would I have Seokjin?” Willing your voice to stay leveled, you begin using a voice you only use in professional settings.
“You left me.” He spoke the pain that he had held within. When you look over to him his eyes are red.
Leaning back in your chair, you crossed your arms over your chest. You wanted to remain unaffected, but you wanted to reach out to him. You felt the urge to touch him, but your anger kept you steady. “I didn’t leave you, you weren’t there. How can you say I left when you weren’t there.”
“You know that’s not true.” He accused, gaze darkening.
“It’s true.”
“I tried, but you wouldn’t answer.”
“That’s bullshit Jin and you know it. For months you ignored me.” Using his words back at him you choked on your words towards the end. You want to say, ‘you didn’t need me’, but the word hung heavy on your tongue, too hurtful even to yourself. You know that you didn’t try to reach out because after what those supposed friends said, it was made true when he just suddenly left. The prioritizing of his pack over you. All your feelings for him were crushed. Heartbreak was easier to deal with when you didn’t have to see their face.
He growls out, “I had things in the pack to handle.”
“Good excuse.” You knew he avoided you for other reasons, it was beginning to urk you that he wasn’t voicing it.
“I couldn’t help it. I was being initiated and had my first complete shift. It was a lot.”
“It’s different and you know it. I—forget it.” You wanted to say so much more, confess how you used to love him. Those feelings feel trivial now, even if they still exist in the present. The realization of the words, even though spoken in your mind had you reliving the pain all over again.
He falters and you almost feel guilty. A darkness spreads over the atmosphere. You spend a moment staring at one another. There is a tension between you two. Yet you can’t deny it’s like magnets. You feel drawn to him despite it all. Always have been. The knowledge of that has you shattering inside.
You stand up. “I’m going to look for a case study.” The wooden chair screeches against the floor. You needed to get away, to cool down. The sound of your shoes echo with the emptiness of the library.
Slinking between the bookcases you keep walking until you are deep within, feeling far enough where you can breathe again. Leaning against a bookshelf you sigh heavily. How come he had this much effect over you still?
Suddenly you feel heat overcome you as Jin suddenly towers over you. Softly his chest rumbles in hushed growls as he caging you in.
“Seokjin, leave me alone.”
When he doesn’t move you attempt to escape, placing your hands on his firm chest and pushing him. Unsurprisingly he doesn’t budge, but he shifts to keep you within his outstretched arms on the bookshelf. His gaze is intense, the red seeming to glow. “No, why do you run away when the conversation gets difficult?”
Humiliation clouds you. “Don’t patronize me.”
“Seokjin I’ve never run, it was you. I stopped chasing when I realized you had other priorities then and I wasn’t one of them. You said so yourself. Simple as that.”
You see him register the memory. His expression turns bitter. “That’s not true.” Gaze narrowed, his hands turn white as he clutches the shelf behind you. “I didn’t ignore you on purpose. Things were complicated and there was a lot I didn’t understand yet.”
“Good excuse.”
“It isn’t!”
“So what?”
“I realized something that—.”
“You didn’t need me.” The words come out of your mouth quietly finishing the sentence for him.  
“No!” he growled.
“Keep telling yourself that.” You bit back the feeling of tears. “What do you gain Seokjin from this, huh? Reliving the past? It’s not then anymore. The us, whatever it was, is not now. And nothing will change that.”
The bookshelf creaked under his grip. “Don’t. Don’t say things like that.”
“What? That I’m no longer that young naïve girl? The one that used to follow you around? The one that used to think you were—.” The word mine dies on your tongue. “I don’t need you anymore and haven’t for a while, face it.”
“Please don’t cry.” He looked at you sadly.
You hadn’t realized you were crying. Attempting to wipe your tears, Jin hand took yours holding it while he caressed your face with the other wiping it away for you.
“Please don’t. I can’t handle it.”
He lowers his head and kissed you. The first press of his lips was gentle but deep. A small whimper escapes you; he rumbles in response pressing you closer to the bookcase. His hand dictates yours onto his shoulders while it wrapped around your waist pulling you close to him. It was making you dizzy with how good it felt.
He pulled away warm breathes of quiet between you two. You slowly open your eyes meeting his fiery ones. The warmness and adoration of it catching you off guard. The boyish loopy smile that followed had your heart melting. He lowered his head, resting his forehead against yours. His lips press against yours again unyielding. You had imagined this before, but this felt better. He kisses your jaw down to your neck. You shiver. The implication of it is not lost on you. He trailed back up finding your lips again in a harsh mesh. With a sigh he pried your mouth open. He moans your name.
Bringing you back to reality. “I—We can’t.”
This wasn’t right on many levels, but most importantly, didn’t he have a mate? Why was he kissing you? You had messed up, messed up big time. How had you caved so easily when he kissed you. You hate that you liked it so much too. You realize from the moment you both met again that the feeling you worked so hard to suppress came back strong. This was a mistake from the beginning. He still makes your heartbeat like it used to.
Seokjin’s arms were still extended towards you. “Why not?”
“I can’t—we can’t.”
You do what you do best. You run. Your heart breaks again for the second time.
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Standing outside in line in the dead of fall would have to be the last place you wished to find yourself. The bombing bass thumped through the walls and neon lights outlined the vicinity. Other patrons in line to the club seemed at ease with the near freezing temperature. You suppose its a caveat of being human that your body didn’t run naturally warm. You had been to clubs throughout your college days, but they were far in between. Except this wasn’t any regular club, Fluxx was meant for the underworld. Those of the other kind.
Crossing your arms over your chest you attempt to conserve as much heat as possible. The fire within only kindled by the fact that you are only doing this for the case. The dress you had borrowed form Mia after she had deemed your choice to tame barely covered anything. It was too tight and you were sure that everything underneath was outlined.
Your phone vibrates in your clutch. You step away from Mia, although she was distracted chatting up some guy in the line. You answer it without looking at the ID.
“Hello?” Plugging your other ear with your finger.
“There’s something you need to know.” Jin’s voice comes through. You startle looking at the phone to check if it really was him. After what happened yesterday you hadn’t expected to never speak to him so soon.
Putting it back to your ear. “Can it wait?” You hiss.
“No.”
“What is it?”
“I talked to Yoongi about him being a rogue. It all checks out. I don’t know how much longer before he turns.”
You bite your lip, heart pausing in your chest. You stare at the club for a moment contemplating what you are about to do. You knew what you were doing was dangerous, entering territory still uncharted to you. However, this was the best way to get more proof.
“Y/n? Y/n did you hear me?”
His voice comes back into your ear, bringing you out of your thoughts.
“Are you out right now?”
Form the corner of your eye you notice a bouncer going down the line, eyeing those standing in line. Mia grabs your elbow pulling you back to her. You hadn’t told her what happened yesterday. Unable to articulate it either. She mouthed to you, “Everything alright?”
“Where are you?” Jin asked.
You nodded to her.
“I gotta go.”
“Y/n, wait—.” You hung up on him tucking your phone back in your purse.
The bouncer scanned you over before looking to Mia. The smile that bloomed on his face was a bit salacious. “Go on in ladies.” Mia grabbed your arm pulling you to bypass the line. Going through the entrance, the dark narrow hallway, you focus on your footing as it was hard to see. The deep house thumping grew louder until it opened to a large room. Strobing lights were made opaque by the hazy air, thick with the smell of alcohol and sweat. Bodies were moving to the music as Mia pulled you towards the bar. You were nearly knocked twice by people too drunk to notice or have body awareness.
Mia had already given you the rundown of what to expect. She had spent at least two hours lecturing you on what goes on. These clubs were not just host to one kind, but all. The fact that you were human would send off a few sense and mixing alcohol in the situation it makes things a bit more dangerous. It had already been decided early on that you both would split up.
Mia leaned in at the bar catching the bartender’s attention and ordered for the both of you. Without turning back.
“Spot him yet?”
Scanning the crowd, you look over the bodies, none of them striking familiarity. It isn’t until you scan the private section where the tables are do you find him.
Mia receives the drinks, handing you the soda. Stealthily she looked over spotting the area of where you were looking.
“I’m not getting good vibes Y/n.”
You nearly snorted into your drink. “It’s a club of course you don’t. This place is grimy and full of fuck boy energy.”
Her lips lift in a smile, but it doesn’t stay. “I’m serious.” Biting her lower lip in uncertainty, leaning in she spoke into your ear, “Are you sure about this?”
“Yeah.” An important detail you left out was telling her that he was a rogue. You knew that just like Jin she would talk you out of it. To her he was just a douchebag and you were just an ordinary girl hitting on him.
“I’ll come find you. Don’t do anything stupid okay.”
You nodded. She disappeared into the crowd weaving into the swaying bodies dancing seamlessly, leaving you at the bar.
You spotted him leaning into a woman, holding her by the hips and grinding to the beat. She wasn’t any woman you had found on his social media before. You snuck photos pretending to take selfies then going through a few other apps. Seeing him move away from her at the change of the song you took your cue. Moving through the dance floor you approximated yourself. Your heart was beating in your fingertips, fist tightly clutching at your drink. Steps beside him you went into action. Stumbling slightly in front of him, you spilled your drink on his black slacks. He growled as soon as the cold liquid spilled all over him.
Trying to swipe off the drink, “What the fuck!”
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You played up to the image of innocence and a naïve human.
He paused in his attempt at brushing off the liquid. “A human. What are you doing here sweetheart?” When his eyes meet yours, they don’t just look they linger. The girl he had been speaking to completely forgotten. His eyes flicker down from your face to your body, lingering in erogenous zones before meeting your eyes again. Pretending you didn’t notice, you suppress the urge to smile knowing he’s playing into it.
Now that you were closer you couldn’t deny that the guy was attractive. It made sense how he was able to play so many. His tousled hair was dark and silky. His eyes were piercing and intimidating.
Seokjin’s words ringing in your ear again. Don’t know how much longer we have until he turns. Why did you have to think of him now at all times.
Touching his leg over the stain you squeezed it suggestively still pretending innocence of attempting to clean it. “I’m so sorry. I’m such a clutz.”
“Hold on princess. Take me to dinner first.” He grabbed your hand, but kept it over his legs.
You couldn’t explain it, you felt his touch turning nausea within you.
“Can I pay you to get it cleaned?”
“This thing? I got twenty more, its fine.”
You leaned in, putting your hand on his chest. “Is there another way I can repay you?”
That had him quirking his brows before a twisted grin bloomed on his face. “Got any ideas babygirl?”
You leaned in, playing with a button on his button up. “I can think of a few wolf boy.”
He growled clearly taking on the challenge. “My names Daniel and don’t forget it baby girl.”
He leaned in to capture your lips but you turned to the side. You whispered into his ears, chuckling, “Don’t tease me baby. you’re going to bring the beast out in me.”
Pretending his words were stimulating, you giggled, tossing your head back. Biting your lip you gave him a doe eyed look, “Let’s take this somewhere else.” Blinking up at him, “Please.”
He took your hand leading you through the crowd. You didn’t have time to search for Mia in the crowd, but you had hoped she saw you. He moved towards the back towards an exit door. He pushed open the door you were pulled out into the back alley. As soon as the door closes the noise of the club softened, and Daniel’s labored breathing is the loudest sound. Fog had settled in over the city, and you could see a group of guys lingering just at the entrance, the ember of their cigarette light.
Stepping closer to you he caged you against the damp brick wall. His overwhelming smell of alcohol was suffocating as he leaned in with a smirk on his lips. He leaned in close enough that his breath fanned over the side of your face. Moaning and humming, “You smell like a bitch, hard to believe your just human baby girl.”
“I’ve always had a bit of wild in me.” You smirked.
Throwing his head back as he laughed, then lowering his head following with a groan. He bit the bait. He presses himself closer to you, enjoying the soft curves of yore body against his. Leaning in to speak with hot breath into your ear, “I can tame you. You’d like it if I’d put you in your place right.”
Goosebumps pimpled over your whole being, except it wasn’t because of him. Something changed in the air. Your heart began beating faster in your chest, like a radar beeping when a target was nearing. Breaking eye contact with Daniel you turned towards the alley where your instincts were indicating something was coming. In turn you exposed your neck to him. Daniel rumbled contently in appreciation at your action. He leaned in sniffing your skin, trailing his nose along the column. The action having your stomach twist in a sudden nausea.
The radar in your chest pinged its loudest as through the dense, grey fog you saw red eyes. A shadowed figured, large and imposing, began taking form of the owner of the red eyes. They were heading towards you at a face pace like when a predator locked in on its prey. A harrowing growl comes from the shadow sends a shiver down your spine. Daniel was so lost in your scent he didn’t realize the figure coming at breakneck speed.
When the figure was close enough you finally caught a glimpse of the shadow.
In a whisper, “Jin.”
Fire burned in his eyes, as he struck like a missile. It all happened in a blur of motion; Daniel was ripped from hovering over you. The vicious growls that came from both beings was terrifying. Jin’s anger had always been cold and blunt. You had only seen it once before, but even then, that time feels minute to what happened in front of you. You had never seen him fight before. Fist struck and the sound of bone cracking was like thunder. It was gruesome.
Daniel lost his balance, his eyes turning red as well. Their heavy breathing steamed around their mouth, their fangs elongated to their lower lip. Daniel twitched seemingly resisting shifting fully. However, Jin was the larger of the two, his body partially shifted. His muscles bulged against the fabric of his clothes. The buttons of his dress shirt barely maintained against this broad chest. His sleeves were rolled up, veins pulsing against his muscular forearms. He was out for blood.
“What the fuck man! Get your own bitch!” Daniel growled at Jin, still maintaining his goal of getting you. When Daniel’s eyes shifted over to you, Jin charged him as the scent of lust filled the air. He grabbed at Daniel’s throat, moving backwards until he slammed him to the wall. He held him growling out words you couldn’t make out until he felt Daniel fall unconscious. His heart was still beating. Released him and let him slump to the floor, hovering over him like a predator.
“Jin.” The quiet whisper of his nickname has him coming back down to earth. He whipped around finding you leaning against the wall, knees weak. Your eyes were wide taking in his face. His eyes the deepest red you’ve ever seen, fangs over his lips, and body near feral. However, as soon as he sees that you, it dropped from him and he looking more like a puppy. He hurried over to you. Instead of greeting he grabbed your chin and angled your head to the side to get a glance at your neck. He breathed a sigh of relief. He was still more wolf than man at the moment. He leaned forward and whined. Your heart stopped in your chest. His body was warm sending a shiver down your spine. His scent was comforting. You hate how good it feels, you hate that your body relaxed instantly when he came to save you. As if you already know everything was going to be alright. To trust and rely on him felt so foreign, but so familiar.
He pulled away but you were so close you could make out his eyelashes individually. He growled, “What were you doing!”
Suddenly what you had been trying to forget comes back full force. Why was he acting like he cared so much? You curled in on yourself, the pettiness returning. “I could’ve handled myself.”
“Oh really? You were just going to let him mark you?” He seethed with an anger like wildfire.
You tried to remain indifferent. “I don’t see what the problem is. It’s just a bite, it’ll heal. I’m not one of you.”
Ignoring him, you pulled your phone out from your pocket showing him that you had a recording going. “I got it.” You pressed pause and saved the file. You hadn’t realized your hands were shaking, the adrenaline of it all still coursing through you.
His brows furrowed. “What?”
“I recorded everything. I even took pictures of him with other women. We can use this as evidence.”
“Y/n?” The moment shatters and you search for the familiar sound of your name.
You see your friend stumbling drunkenly through the door out into the empty alleyway.
“I’m here to save you!” For being a kind, her alcohol tolerance was low. She turned towards you, squinting her eyes. “Whoa, who’s the hot guy? Was I interrupting something.”
You pushed Jin away from you slipping past him to support her as her ankle kept rolling due to the uneven asphalt.
Jin didn’t bother smirking or returning the understanding. He was still beyond pissed.
She looked down to the passed out man, “Holy shit.” She looked to Seokjin, seeing the remnants of his partial shift as he hadn’t bothered to transition back. There was a silent understanding of one another between them as he could tell she was the same as him.
“You were supposed to keep watch, how could you get drunk?”
“I didn’t mean to, I was feeling really nervous about all this. I needed to calm my nerves, so I had a few drinks.”
“We’ll talk in the office.” You directed your words to Seokjin before you began walking away with Mia.
“No, I’m taking you home.”
Mia wiggled her eyebrows. “Can you stay forever?”
You shushed her, bewildered by her behavior. The intense glare he was giving you had you agreeing. “Fine.”
Walking towards his car in silence. She squinted, then her eyes then widened thinking she was whispering to you, “Oh my god is he the one you’ve been talking nonstop about.”
You hush her. “Shut up.”
Through the walk Jin had shifted himself back. A black Audi RS7 beeped as Jin unlocked his car. Mia whistled, “He’s rich.”
“Mia!” You whisper yelled at her. “Please, behave!”
She nodded holding her hands up in an apology. “I’ll behave. I’ll behave.”
You slip into the back with Mia. Her head falls on your shoulder. You gave him your address. He presses the car to start and pulls away. Not long your friend falls asleep, her head falling asleep on your shoulder. You caught him looking at you a few times through the rear-view mirror, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything.
Pulling in the parking lot of your complex, Jin got out first then opened the door for you. He helped you with Mia and supported her up.
Going to the first floor of your apartment complex you made sure Jin was following you with Mia. Shoving the key in your door you let him in, leading him through your apartment to her room. He laid her down onto her bed. You began helping take her shoes off, Jin leaving to go to the living room. Taking a moment to help her clean up and ready for bed. She smiled at you partially awake, partially asleep.
“What?” You smiled back.
Giggling, “He likes you too.”
You froze, staring at her incredulously before you played it off as she was too drunk to know what she was talking about. “You’re drunk go to sleep.”
She shook her head. She grabbed your hand staring you directly in the eyes. “No, I’m sure.”  
“He already has a mate.”
Her eyebrows squinted. “No he doesn’t. He doesn’t smell like it.”
You refrained form rolling your eyes. “You wolves and your weird olfactory fixation.”
She sighed then let go, allowing her eyes to close as she fell asleep. You remained crouched by her bed, trying to decipher her words. Jin, didn’t have a mate? And liked you? She must mean that he tolerated you, civil at most. The kiss the other day meant nothing, you were sure of it. It was spur of the moment, high stress and you both didn’t know what you were doing.
She was drunk what did she know.
Standing up with a click to your knees you groaned, you were exhausted. The adrenaline finally wearing away of what happened earlier. Seeing Jin standing in your living room was awkward. He was looking at the photos on the wall. Specifically staring at a photo of when you were younger and Jin was also in it. You both looked so happy, with paint on both of your faces and white shirts.
You hesitate, weirdly feeling as if you were caught with something you should be. “Kinda hard not finding a picture of the old days without you in it.”
He looked at you, putting his hand down from touching the edge of the frame.
When he says nothing you clear your throat, “Thank you.”
He turned towards you, sticking his hands in his pockets, humming in acknowledgement.
“I’ll format all the recordings and photos for the—.”
He cut you off. “You looked happy here.” He pointed to the photo next to the one he was touching. It was of you and a few friends at the beach. It was taken the last year of college.
You smirked. “Hey, I know how to have fun. I’m not all business.”
He smirked, “Would’ve fooled me.” You knew he was poking fun. This time you enjoyed it. Turning to you. “You even turned our night off into a work night, at a club no less.”
You couldn’t argue there, in steading biting your bottom of your lip. He follow the motion before looking up. Clearing your throat you changed the subject.  “He said that I was his mate.”
His whole body stiffened. “Impossible.” He crossed the room closer to you, just stopping a foot away.
You looked up at him, the sudden hostility throwing you off. He scanned you over once more. “Are you sure you’re alright? He didn’t touch you?”
“No.” You fought off the blush that threatened to rise to your cheeks. The attentiveness he was giving you was doing things to your heart that you promised yourself you wouldn’t let happen again. You flush suddenly remembering how soft his lips feel.
Nodding seemingly distracted with his thoughts. “I’ll look into that.” He began making his way towards the door and you followed. He stood outside your doorway.
He hesitated before nodding, as if he had contemplated something. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” You returned the words in a soft whisper.
He began walking away towards his car.
“Jin.”
He turned around.
“How’d you know where to find me?”
He paused, his face clearly. Your heart nearly stopped in your chest when a smile, an expression you haven’t seen on him. Jin looked like his old self.  “I just went where the wild things are. I knew I’d find you there.”
You laughed, “I hate you.”
A smirk came back to his lips. “Don’t go soft on me now, Y/n.”
You watched him slip into his car before going inside. Alone with yourself you felt unsettled. Lately, it had been happening more. You chalked it up to being stressed, but stress was a constant in your life. This emotion was blaringly obvious to you, but you didn’t understand. Why did him leaving leave a hint of sadness.
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“You sure?”
“Yeah, totally. I’ll catch up with you soon.”
Logan pulled a face saying he wasn’t convinced. The others had already gathered their stuff and were heading towards the elevators. Yoongi suddenly threw his arm around Logan’s shoulders. “Let’s go. I need a drink.”
You couldn’t help but smile biting back laughter. Yoongi was a man of few words, but he always knew when to insert himself.  
You turn back to your desk when they’re out of sight. In all truth you didn’t want to go. You wanted peace, and despite wanting to follow the social cues it was the last thing you needed right now.
Accompanied by the lone light from your desk, the silence of the office greets you in full embrace. The electronic whorl of central air kicking on. You busy yourself with “last-minute” paperwork you had purposefully withheld on doing, knowing this celebrating was coming. The case had gone incredibly well, it was easy to prove the divorce with your added evidence. It was set to go to secondarily trial within the kind’s court. You just needed to give yourself enough time to know they were out of the building and you could go home.
“Y/n?”
You looked over your shoulder. Seokjin stood there, you could see wear of the day on him but it somehow painted him like oil paint. His hair was disheveled, and the top buttons of his white button up were undone.
“I forgot my wallet.”
You hum. It’s a bit awkward. Watching him round the desk to his in silence. Ever since you had turned in the case over to Yoongi, you had distanced yourself from him. There had been no incentive to not go because of him. It had been a looming idea over your head though that after this you weren’t going to be seeing him.
He held up his wallet, “Found it.”
“You found it.”
He swallowed tucking it in his pocket. He rounded the desk standing just near yours. His hand was clenched in a fist, words on the tip of his tounge.
“Well, it was great working with you Y/n.”
Standing up you extend out your hand. Staring at it for a moment his eyes soften taking yours in his.
“The truce was sufficient after all.” He joked.
“Don’t get too soft on me now.” You joked back.
He smiled. The handshake had long outlived itself, but you still held his and he held yours.
“Well, this is goodbye.” When you tried letting go his grip tightened. “Jin?”
“I can’t. I can’t keep pretending.”
“Pretending?”
“Pretending I’m okay with you walking out of my life again. Pretending that I’m not effected by you. I can’t. I can’t handle it for the second time.”
His logic was flawed. You didn’t allow your heart to pick up pace, fall into his words. “What do you mean? You said you didn’t need me.”
“I lied. I never meant what I said then. I never wanted to hurt you or push you away.”
Your eyes flicker about his face, looking for signs of deception but couldn’t find it. “Then, why did you?”
“I couldn’t control it, I couldn’t control my wolf. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Hurt me? Jin, you wouldn’t have hurt me.”
“No, I would have. I couldn’t control it back then, the urges were too intense. I’m weak when it comes to you.”
“You can’t mean that.”
“I do though. I was weak, and whenever you would come near me it became harder to control. The night I found you I couldn’t think straight. Now though, I can’t deny it anymore, I know what I want. And I want you.”
“What do you mean? Don’t you have a mate, what are you talking about?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well don’t you?”
“I’m not seeing anyone or have claimed anyone—yet.”
You pausing looking at his distraught face.
“Oh.”
“Oh?”
“You don’t?”
“No.” His touches were romantic.
“Well I still don’t see what this conversation has to do with me.” , “Look, I’m not here to get mixed up in whatever.”
“Are you really that oblivious? Do you really not see it?”
“See what?”
He groaned rubbing his hands over his face. “Y/N, you’re killing me here.”
“It’s you. You are my mate.”
Everything froze around you.
Your hands trailed up his chest to wrap around his neck.
“My mate.”
“What?” You freeze. Attempting to put all the pieces of the puzzle together none of it makes sense to you. “You said so yourself humans can’t be mates.”
“I didn’t know how to tell you. You aren’t bound by the same instincts or rules that I am. I was worried, I thought it was only me who felt something. But it’s you, always has been.”
He pulled you closer, and you didn’t fight him.
“Please, I’ll tell you everything, but I need to know. Do you feel the same?”
You swallowed hard. “I do.”
His body melted. “Do you mean that?”
You rolled your eyes. Your hands were around his neck, pulling him down and your lips crashing onto his even before he could finish that sentence. The sudden softness in the midst of the charged tension had you even more sure that you wanted this. The electricity just a kiss from him confirmed it all. You did feel the same way, have for a long time. He reciprocated gripping the sides of your waist and lips moving in tandem with yours. All the built-up tension from before exploded as your tongue brushing against his.
You push him away needing to breath. Tucking his head into your neck he presses kisses into your skin not wanting to part from you. “Why were you so worried? Didn’t you know that I was your mate before?”
“No, we can only begin to find our mates after we’ve fully shifted.“
Finding a place between your neck and collar he nipped at the flesh causing you to moan and shiver. Appreciating the sound he dug his hand deeper into your hair angling your head so he could access it better. “I knew it was you for sure after I shifted, but you were human and I didn’t understand. I had always been told that a mate couldn’t be human. But its been you all along. My elders had tried to talk me out of it, they had tried to keep me away from you. It didn’t help that I had so much to learn after shifting. It didn’t change anything, I kept looking for you. From the first time I found myself in your closet, I was too young to understand destiny, but its always been you.”
You didn’t realize how much you wanted to hear those words from him until he admitted it.
“Why? Why were you so mean.”
“I couldn’t get your attention otherwise.”
You giggled into eachother mouth. “Dumbass, all of this could have been avoided.”
He pinched at your side causing you to shriek.
“Let me take you home.” His voice is low and sweet, and drips like honey.
It takes a second to register what he said, awestruck by how much the words feel common place. “Okay.”
He chases your lips before pulling you along with him. “Wait! I need to get my stuff.”
You laugh at the whine that comes form him as you collect your things form your desk. When you turn around he has his hand extended and you tangle your hand in his. You can’t get the smile off your face. The next movements are rushed as you find yourself in his car. His hand tangles back in yours as soon as he’s in the drivers’ seat.
It takes all about fifteen minutes to get to Jin’s apartment. The moments in between getting there were filled with tension as his hand no longer was just content holding yours but clenching over your thigh and kneading the flesh. Upon reaching his unit he fumbled with the code for a few seconds. When he finally had you inside he pressed himself to you. He no longer appeared to be completely human. His fangs were extended, eyes gleaming red, and he at you like a man starved. He rolls his hips to your center, letting you feel the evidence of his erection tight against his slacks. “Tell me what you want. Anything you want, you can have it.”
“Jin.” You moaned at the feeling of him pressed against your center. You wanted all of him, but you didn’t know how to voice it all. You wanted to feel his weight on top of you, feel him within you and to hold him against you. You wanted more than just that though, but words felt unfulfilling besides his name.
“You really don’t realize what you do to me.” He grabbed under your thighs lifting you up so that your legs rested over his arms while he supported you against the wall. He grinded into you again, his hot breath fanning over your face before he sloppily kissed you.
“You turn me into a beast.”
He shifted so that your legs were wrapped around his waist and he held onto you tightly as he moved towards his bedroom. It all happens so quickly. You were pressed down on his bed with him hovering over you. He tugged at your shirt silently asking for permission to remove it which you give him happily. He pulled it off you delicately, as if you were an art piece he was afraid of breaking. He reached behind you an unhook your bra, tossing it.
He stared for a few moments. You wanted to cross your arms over your chest but he stopped you.
“Beautiful.” He swallowed harshly. He leans down trailing his nose along your sternum before nuzzling at your breast. His hand trailed up the side of your body before reaching your breast and kneading the flesh. His thumb traces over your nipple until they pebbled. With the other his mouth sucked marked into your flesh before taking your nipple into his mouth. You release soft gasp at the gentle pleasure. He switched showering each breast with kisses and small bites until they were both marked.
He propped himself up as he moved his mouth down from your chest to your stomach, caressing your sides. He moved until he was nestled between your legs. Sitting back on his heels he reaches for the waistband of your skirt again asking for permission. Intoxicated on the feeling you nod at him lazily. He pulled it down landing somewhere with your other clothes.
He spread your legs wider fitting himself between your legs. You were so wet that the fabric of your panties stuck to you. Using the slick he traced his finger over your slit, focusing on your clit. Your back arched off the bed, bowing towards the ceiling. It was a simple touch, but you were hypersensitive to his touch. With his face between your legs he looks deliriously in bliss.
The dichotomy of his nature made him an anomaly. He was domineering but tender in each of his approaches. Each motion was made with love, but eagerness to feel you. No partner you’ve had before had been so attentive, trekking your body as it was meant to be explored and learned.
“Shit, Y/n, you’re so wet. Is this all for me?”
You gasped his name when he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your clit. He chuckled, “Is my name the only thing you can say now?”
You flushed, “Stop teasing me.”
He pressed a kiss to your knee soothing the teasing.
“Fuck, you smell so ready for me.”
“Please.” You pleaded breathlessly.
“Just a taste, please.”
You nodded threading your hands through his hair. He hooked his fingers in your panties and pulled them down tossing them somewhere in the room. Yanking you forward and closer to him he spreads your legs for him putting you on full display. Kissing up your thighs moving closer to your center. When he places a kiss on your mound before he begins to gently. He sighed against your folds. “Delicious.”
He taste you longer than just a sample as he buries his head between your legs. The sounds of your moans and mewls awaken the cavernous part of him. He growled, the sound sending shivers down your spine and making you even wetter.
“Jin!” you gasp, as he eats you out. When he pushes a finger inside you can’t help but tighten your grip on his hair. It felt so good, the stretch was sending your sensitivity to overdrive. It has been a long time since you’ve had sex with someone, but your cunt was accepting his finger easily. He worked you up and slipped another finger inside you, the stretch causing you to screw your eyes shut. Letting out a pained cry of pleasure and a bit of sting from the stretch.
“Doing so good for me Y/n.” His fingers moved to spread you open, to let him in. He watched you from between your legs as he increased his pace when he felt you relax a bit around him.
He was driving you crazy, the sounds he was admitting as if he was enjoying it more than you was such a turn on. No one had ever made you feel this way, as if he wasn’t just touching your body but your soul.  Your pressing your hips upwards, feeling your end coming near. Your pussy clenches around his finger when he keeps stroking that one spot within you. In combination with his lips on your clit and him finger fucking, you had never felt so much pleasure before.
“I’m—.” Your body tenses and you can feel yourself just on the edge.
“Come for me.” His words commanded you and like a band you snapped. Your walls pulsed around his finger as he kept you through your orgasm. He pulled his fingers out of you, licking them clean. When he seems your release dripping down from your entrance he leaned down licking it up. He pressed his tongue inside you. The action surprising and jerk, but you couldn’t move away. His tongue moved languidly and rhythmically within you until he was content. He continued to lap of your sweet release until you pushed him away.
He crawled over you. “So good for me. Fate couldn’t have chosen a better mate.” His words were possessive but you didn’t mind it. The word mate fell off his lips so easily.
You came down from the high gradually, chest heaving, and eyes
You see that he was still hesitant to let it through. You reached up cupping his face, gently tracing your thumb. “Let go.”
“I can’t. I don’t want to hurt you.” He peppers kisses along your collarbone.
Your fingers make quick work of his shirt. You pause to admire his broad chest. It had been .
He grabs your hand before you reach for the button of his pants.
“Do you really know what this means. Know what I mean when I say you’re my mate and want you?”
“Yes, mark me. Claim me. I want you. I want all of you.”
“Even if it means forever?”
“yes.”
He allows you to undress the rest of him, he kicks off his pants and underwear and he’s completely bare before you.
His endowment makes your thighs clench. His cock was hard, thick and throbbing, the tip ozzing.
Coming down to his elbows he fits himself snuggly between your thighs, cock brushing your pussy. He reaches between you gathering your slick before spreading it over his cock. He teases your pussy by teasing your entrance, and with your slick he coats his cock with it.
“I’m going to fill you with my cum y/n. Knot you so none of it spills out.” He rubbed your hips. “You’d look so beautiful swollen with my pups.”
You couldn’t help but tremble, excitement filling your veins. You wanted to be sated, to feel him inside you already.
“I want it Jin.”
‘Anything for you, my love.”
That was the last warning you got before he was pressing into you. He watched your face as he filled with you with this thick length. You cried out, as you fisted the sheet under you. “Oh my god.”
His grip tightened on your hips enough you were sure they were going to bruise later. He was trembling just as much as you were. Slowly sinking in you he pumped until he was full seated inside you.
“Holy shit, this is way better than I’ve ever imagined.” He paused allowing you to adjust to his size.  
When you shifted against him he took it as a cue to finally move. He pulled out almost the full way before he was sliding back in slowly. It drew out a choked moan from the both of you. His length dragged against your walls hitting that spot each time.
“Harder, please, harder!” You cried out. You trusted him enough to know he would keep his strength in check. You knew he could crush you, as lifting you earlier seemed like nothing to him.
The pace was gentle until he picked up a merciless pace. Each powerful thrust pushed him in deeper to you. You were quickly unraveling approaching your second orgasm in record time. The sensation of everything was addicting as you lost yourself in the pleasure. Tears built in the corner of your eyes.
He mouthed at your neck murmuring, “My mate. My sweet little mate, so good for me. Taking me so well.”
Nearing your orgasm you began trembling in his embrace. “Come again for me, my love. Give it to me.”
You clenched around him, shattering around his cock and in the same moment he sunk his fangs sunk in between your neck and shoulder. The pain meshed with the pleasure into an addictive eliquer that flooded your system.
He kept going. “Too much Jin!”
Licking clean the marking he pulled away from your neck. He pressed your legs up into your chest. He could see his cock going in and out of your swollen lips. He kept pounding into you, somehow reaching deeper into you. “I’m going to fill you up, love. Do you want it baby?”
You nodded. “Give it to me.” Tears were spilling form your eyes from the overstimulation.
With a final slam of his hips his length swelled inside you spilling his seed within you. When you expected it to end his length was still swelling at the base.
“Jin, what’s happening?” Your nails dug into his shoulders.
“Shhh, baby, its okay.” His mouth slipped back over to your neck, kissing over the fresh mark. He peppered you with affection as his hands soothed your flesh. He relaxed your legs until they wrapped around his waist holding you close.
Just when you thought you couldn’t take anymore the knot stopped swelling. You heaved, panting slightly from the painful stretch.
“You did so well.”
You smiled, pulling him to your lips to kiss. The way he was looking at you as if you were his world had you reaching up to cover your face.
“What just happened?”
He stilled, “Do you regret it?”
You pulled your hands away form his face. “No, no, no.” He easily succumbs when you pull him closer to you. You rub your nose against his back and forth, wanting to return the affection. “It was perfect.”
He flushed crimson.
 You spend hours after within eachothers embrace, even when his knot swelled down. You talked, whispered words of affection to eachother and fell into eachothers embrace again. Like the first time his touch is gentle, he praises the moon for bringing him to you. He leaves no part of you untouched, and you his.
You feel at home for the first time in a long time.
When the sun rises, you wake in his arms, head in the crook of his neck, as he held you tightly to his chest. Bodies still bare, you both felt there was no need to cover, he had his hand over your hip. Breathing in the scent of him and . The silence doesn’t feel uncomfortable. The sound of his heartbeat in your ear was calming.
Slowly pulling away from his neck you reach up and caress his face. With your thumb you trace under his eye and cheek with a butterflies touch.
“I love you.”
He smiles. “No. I’m supposed to say it first.”
You quirk a brow at him. “Who says so?”
He opened his eyes, the trails of sleep still evident. “I do. I love you, always have.” He captures your lips in his.
“You stayed.”
You pulled away. “Of course, I would.”
He smiled. “I know, but to have you here. In my bed. Next to me. It all seems like I’m still dreaming.”
“Oh my god, you’re so cheesy, you dork.”
“But you like it.”
Giggling as he peppers kisses all over your face you manage to worm out of his embrace. You jump out of bed. Taking his dress shirt from off the floor you toss it over yourself buttoning up a few buttons. “Don’t sour the sweetness too soon, wolf boy.” You let the last word roll but with no real malice. You know the word will rile him up.
From the bed he watched you. He had never seen anyone more beautiful. You had his heart that was for sure. He tossed the blanket off of himself chasing after you. “You take that back.”
You giggled running down his hall and out of sight with him chasing right behind you.
Even after the wildest journey, some things in life, like home, just won’t change.
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heavyy12 · 3 years
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Colin and Tripp: Part 2
“I just hope this whole thing doesn’t implode on us.” Colin said as he folded some jeans and placed them in a suitcase. “This is going to come as a HUGE surprise to them.”
“You’re not kidding, babe.” Tripp said as he closed his laptop from atop their bed. “HUGE, indeed.”
Tripp got up and walked behind Colin to rub the belly that contained his unborn sons. Tripp had never been so turned on by another person than Colin in all his pregnant glory. Colin had ballooned over the past couple weeks and easily resembled a man nearing full-term. At 29 weeks, Colin had managed to pack on forty pounds, all of which seemed to go to his belly.
He was so perfectly round and miraculously had very little stretch marks. His ass had become far more plump and his pecs were noticeably fuller as they sat atop his protruding midsection.
Tripp swatted the clothing from Colin’s hands and lifted his pregnant lover’s shirt over his head.
“Really, babe?” Colin smirked, “I have to get this packing done! We leave in the morning.”
“I won’t be long.” Tripp whispered as he kissed Colin’s neck and lowered the pregnant man’s briefs to expose Colin’s plump cheeks from beneath.
“I want a piece of that pregnant ass,” Tripp continued as he slid his erection between Colin’s bare cheeks.
“Well, by all means, daddy, have at it.” Colin cooed.
Colin was on his back within seconds, belly high in the air and his thick thighs hugging the sides of his growing orb as Tripp positioned himself to begin fucking his pregnant lover.
Tripp couldn’t keep his eyes and hands off Colin’s belly as they fucked. The father-to-be was constantly looking for signs of his unborn sons through his baby mama’s massive orb. Colin knew what Tripp was looking for and when he’d feel a kick from within as Tripp’s cock was impaling him, he’d guide his baby daddy’s hand to that location on his belly. The pair couldn’t get enough of pregnant sex.
Colin decided to tell his parents of his pregnancy before the dinner Tripp had planned. There was obviously no hiding his condition, so it was an abrupt conversation. After a few minutes and the question of paternity came up, Colin said it was someone they knew. Their most shocking revelation of Colin’s pregnancy was that Tripp was the father and they were in a relationship.
His father pressed Colin to be honest whether Tripp took advantage of him and the pregnant college student assured him that wasn’t the case. Mrs. Lacey was able to calm her husband down and Colin explained the dinner he had planned was actually at Tripp’s home down the street.
The dinner started off awkwardly, but by the end, everyone seemed comfortable with Tripp and Colin’s situation. The pair said goodbye to their dinner guests and after the caterers left, they retreated to the backyard for a bonfire.
It was a cold, late-fall night and Tripp donned a baggy Cornell sweatshirt, chinos, and boat shoes, while his pregnant lover lowered himself into an Adirondack chair wearing a similar outfit. Tripp had a beer in his hand as they discussed what they believed was a successful dinner with Colin’s family.
As the fire grew, Colin became overheated and removed his sweatshirt, revealing the underside of his massive belly in a tight, white tee. Tripp noticed while Colin hadn’t yet and started snapping pictures of his pregnant lover in the firelight.
“What are you doing babe?” Colin asked as the flash from Tripp’s phone nearly blinded him.
“You just look so beautiful sitting by the fire and so full with our children.” He replied.
“Well, I feel like a hot, sweaty blimp.” Colin said as he lifted his tee for air circulation.
“We can go inside. It’s been a long day.” Tripp said as be began getting up.
“No, no, a couple more minutes.” Colin insisted, “I’m going to need help getting up from this damn chair anyways.”
Tripp was already up and moved over to his pregnant lover, ran his hands through Colin’s hair and bent down for a kiss on his forehead. While his older boyfriend kissed his forehead, Colin felt an unpleasant jab coming from within and moaned as his hand immediately went to assess the action.
“Are the boys giving you trouble?” Tripp asked as he noticed Colin’s expression and joined his pregnant lover in examining the situation.
“I think they’re a little overheated from the fire.”
“No worries, babe, it was nice while it lasted.” Tripp said as he began extinguishing the fire. “How about a nice, relaxing bath before bed?” he suggested to his pregnant lover.
“I’d love that.” Colin answered as he covered his belly back up and reached his hands out signaling Tripp to help hoist him from the chair.
Colin and Tripp returned to Ithaca after a couple days so Colin could finish out the semester before winter break. With a February due date and Colin already a semester ahead from college-placement classes in high school, they decided he’d take the spring semester off to have their sons.
Colin’s family had plans to spend Christmas and New Years apart in different places around the world. It left Colin and Tripp on their own; which they preferred.
Tripp planned a vacation getaway, the last as a childless couple, to the Caribbean. Colin was cleared to fly at 33 weeks, although he easily resembled someone who was overdue. For convenience, Tripp chartered a jet for their two-week vacation.
When they arrived in the Caribbean, Colin was excited to see that Tripp reserved a penthouse apartment with a butler for their duration. Their balcony had amazing views of the ocean and surrounding islands, as well as their own rooftop pool.
It wasn’t long into their first day that Colin stripped naked and lowered himself into the refreshing rooftop pool. After Tripp finished unpacking and pre-ordering dinner, he was surprised to find Colin already soaking up the Caribbean sun in all his naked, pregnant glory.
“Damn babe, we’ve only been here for an hour and you’re already getting me worked up with that view.” Tripp exclaimed as he removed his cutoff shirt and stood over Colin from the pool’s ledge in a speedo.
“Being cooped up on the flight and drive here was too much for these two!” Colin said as he stood up in the shallow end of the pool, his belly exposed above his recently popped navel and dripping wet. “I didn’t know how else to calm them down!”
“Well you know they get tired after a good fuck, sooo…” Tripp suggested as he removed his speedo, exposing his hard eight inches.
Tripp entered the pool and the pair began making out as both their erections grew. Tripp’s poked his pregnant lover’s lower belly and Colin’s poked his underbelly with nowhere else to go.
Tripp hoisted Colin, with the pregnant man’s assistance, onto the pool ledge. They continued making out with Tripp’s hands firmly planted on the sides of Colin’s massive orb and Colin’s on his baby daddy’s plump ass cheeks.
Colin’s erection was covered by his immense midsection and was getting uncomfortable as his own heaviness weighed down on it. He laid back with Tripp’s help and positioned his legs atop his baby daddy’s shoulders. Tripp slowly inserted himself into Colin’s hole from inside the pool.
The pool’s slate tile wasn’t the most comfortable on Colin’s back as his belly weighed him down, but he easily worked through the pain because of the ecstasy from being impaled by Tripp’s thick cock.
Tripp grabbed handfuls of Colin’s fuller pecs and picked up speed. Colin played with Tripp’s nipples as they both neared climax. As Tripp slowed to deposit a warm load within his pregnant lover’s hole, his right hand caressed Colin’s cock and the pregnant man soon blew his load between his protruding belly and Tripp’s lower abs.
“What a way to start the vacation!” Tripp exclaimed as he pull out.
“I’d say! The three of us enjoyed that, daddy!” Colin said as he cradled his belly in their afterglow.
Tripp kissed the mound that held his unborn sons sensually before pulling Colin up to a seated position. The pregnant man then lowered himself into the pool where the pair relaxed for the next half hour as their bodies cleansed of sweat of cum.
Islanders at their resort were astounded by Colin’s size every time the two men decided to leave their penthouse suite. Although they had a capable butler, every time they’d walk to the beach, two or more additional staff would offer their assistance. They both spent their days on the beach where Colin resembled a tanned, beach whale, before retreating upstairs to prepare for an exquisite dinner.
Tripp made sure to always have snacks and lunch ordered for their time on the beach so Colin and his boys wouldn’t go hungry. The expectant fathers always made sure to accentuate Colin’s pregnancy, as if it wasn’t already truly astounding.
When they’d have lunch delivered to the beach, before the waiter had time to leave, Tripp already had one hand caressing Colin’s belly and the other feeding his pregnant lover. They didn’t care how awkward it made anyone else feel. Nobody at the resort had seen a pregnant man of Colin’s size before and could rarely take their eyes off his belly. It also didn’t help that Colin wore speedos that barely fit his plump ass cheeks and when seated and being served on the beach, eluded to being nude since his belly covered every inch of fabric he had on.
On the last day of their vacation, Tripp hired a photographer for the day to capture Colin in all his pregnant glory. The pregnant twenty-one year old was nearing his 35[sup]th[/sup] week and had gained 70 pounds, ballooning to 285. His tanned, stretched skin was nearly 60” around. Tripp often wondered how big his pregnant beau would get at this rate.
They took intimate pictures in the morning on their bed while both wore just briefs. The focus of both men was Colin’s belly. After nearly two weeks in the sun, his tanned, olive skin covered any faint stretch marks he had. His belly button almost looked cartoonish and stuck out far from his massive middle. His fuller pecs were accentuated by enlarged nipples that Tripp often sucked on.
Tripp stood behind the photographer for Colin’s solo photo shoot in bed. He couldn’t contain the erection that was forming as he watched Colin cradle their unborn sons and pose so sensually; nearly nude in the bed they fucked in the night before. They both changed into 5” inseam shorts and linen, short-sleeve button downs and headed to the beach for more pictures.
While Tripp’s shirt stayed mostly buttoned, Colin’s was opened almost instantly to show his massive baby bump. Tripp’s favorite pose during Colin’s solo beach shoot was when his pregnant lover sat in the sand, folded and tucked his right leg under his lifted left leg, leaned back into the sand with his right arm and rested his left forearm on his raised left knee. Until then, Colin hadn’t looked so massive to Tripp. The sun beat down on him as sweat glistened on his chest and belly. Tripp popped another boner thinking Colin still had over a month left of growing.
After their final dinner on the island, the pair decided to take a midnight stroll on the beach. Both men had plotted fucking in the sand and were hoping to do so that night.
They came to a curve in the beach that had a grouping of palm trees hidden from the resort’s view. They smirked at each other and Tripp guided Colin to the middle of the palm trees and ripped off his pregnant lover’s clothing. They made out with Colin in all his naked glory and the moonlight reflecting off his ballooned belly. Tripp quickly surveyed the area once more before pulling his shorts down.
Tripp was leaking pre-cum on his pregnant lover’s belly before turning Colin around to expose the pregnant man’s inviting hole. Colin bent slightly and grabbed ahold of a palm tree as Tripp’s warm mouth met his hole. After a minute or two, Tripp’s tongue was replaced by his dick and the two began fucking wildly. Colin’s fat ass cheeks were clapping uncontrollably as he moaned from being fucked so hard. His tits were bouncing violently atop his perfectly round baby belly. Tripp had his hands planted on the sides of Colin’s belly as he thrust harder and harder into his pregnant lover’s hole.
Tripp normally lasted much longer but felt himself getting close after only a few minutes. He moved his hands up Colin’s blossoming body and grabbed a handful each of Colin’s pecs and pulled his pregnant lover back, plush against his body. Tripp slowed and kissed Colin’s neck and bit his ear as he flooded the pregnant man’s hole with another huge load of warm baby batter.
They stayed in that position for another minute, making out madly as Tripp’s hands caressed Colin’s belly and his cock grew limp from inside the pregnant man’s hole. Tripp pulled out, turned Colin around to lean against the palm tree and consumed the pregnant man’s cock before swallowing the load the shot from it.
“That was so fucking hot, babe.” Tripp said as he lifted himself up to Colin’s eye level. Colin noticed his own cum was still left on the sides of Tripp’s mouth and wiped his baby daddy’s face with two fingers before shoving both and his bodily remnants into Tripp’s accepting mouth. They kissed and hurriedly put their clothing back on before retreating to their suite.
The pair returned to the states with a little over one month left in Colin’s pregnancy. Since Colin was taking a semester off to have the twins, they moved everything back to Tripp’s Manhattan apartment. Contractors and interior designers were in and out the entire month of January preparing the nursery.
Photos from their pregnancy shoot in the Caribbean were returned to the couple at the end of January. Colin noticed how enamored Tripp was with them that he had one blown up, nearly life-size, and framed for their foyer. It was a surprise for Tripp, so Colin had it hung while he was at work and unveiled it one day in early February.
Colin was just two weeks from his due date when he stood by the door waiting for Tripp to return from work. When Tripp arrived home, he noticed his pregnant lover in the foyer and the massive, covered frame on the wall.
“What’s this, babe?” Tripp asked as he hung up his coat.
“I have an early Valentine’s Day gift you.” Colin smiled as they kissed.
“You didn’t have to do that babe, our boys are the gift of a lifetime.” Tripp said as he caressed his pregnant lover’s belly from beneath Colin’s navy polo.
Colin backed away and removed the drape covering the 56” x 70” frame. It was the photo of Colin sitting in the sand during their beach photo shoot that Tripp liked so much.
“Babeeee” Tripp exclaimed, pulling Colin close so the pair could look at it together. “You are so breathtaking.”
“I knew you liked the picture a lot.” Colin said, “And although I’m not a huge fan of having a life-size photo of myself in our home, I knew you’d appreciate it.”
Tripp kissed Colin and rubbed his 38-week belly that recently surpassed 63” and 305 pounds.
“I LOVE it.” Tripp exclaimed. “And I love YOU.” He continued as they kissed again.
“I wouldn’t mind making this a tradition.” Tripp suggested.
“What do you mean? Colin asked.
“Well, did I ever mention I wanted a BIG family?” the baby daddy smirked.
“Oh yeah?” Colin cooed as he backed away from Tripp and smirked back. “How big?” he joked as he turned side to side to accentuate the belly that was home to their unborn sons.
“Of epic proportions.” Tripp smiled as he approached Colin and pinned him against the wall. At this point in Colin’s pregnancy, Tripp had to lean far in to meet his lover’s face. The belly that stood between them was no joke. “Is my baby mama up for the challenge?” Tripp whispered in Colin’s ear.
“Challenge accepted.” Colin replied before the pair began making out and undressing in their foyer.
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jeon-kookie-dough · 3 years
Text
Caught in the Game - Chapter 01
After growing up in the midst of Toman and a rather wild time in college, you are now working for a popular fashion magazine. You were aware of your boss's gang past - Kokonoi Hajime's name having been well-known during your school time - but after you bumped into an old friend at work the other day, one coincidence follows the next and you find your past catching up to you...
pairings: Koko x reader, Chifuyu x reader genre: angst, gang!au rating: m for violence & slowburn smut word count: 2,536 next>
The subway was much stuffier than usual. Bodies pressed into each other at every curvature, the sweat mingling on the sticky handlebars. And it is only the morning, for fuck’s sake.
The way from my house, which is located kind of in the outskirts of Tokyo, to Chiyoda where my office was located, felt like a lifetime this hot morning. Between trying to avoid creeps in the subway and standing in the longest queue in front of my favorite coffee shop for what seemed like hours, I was trying to supersede immense tiredness.
As of November, of the year prior I was working for one of the bigger fashion magazines in the country and the deadline for my latest article was already scratching at the front door. More like clawing, actually.
Up until starting up this job, I was used to living a half-assed life. School came easy to me, despite having been caught up in some…situations. College was a blur of alcohol and parties and I just barely graduated. After college I held myself above water with various part-time jobs, having been kicked out from home at barely 18 and landed my current job by chance. This upcoming article was more than important to me, thus stressing myself, and crying my fucking eyes raw from frustration, since it was the first time having my work printed in an actual magazine instead of just publishing online.
The second I stepped foot into Marunouchi Park Building, I sighed of relief and thanked who ever invented ACs. I entered the elevator, pushed the button for the 23rd floor and leaned back against the cool metal wall of the cabin. Just as the doors were about to close, somebody sprinted into the otherwise empty cabin. The person was male and of average height, balancing a couple garment bags and shoe boxes in his arms. I wasn’t really surprised that he was going to exit on the same floor, as the other offices in this building were mostly financial firms.
Not minding the other person, I let him leave the elevator before me, clocked in and greeted my colleagues with a friendly nod. I took a while, but in the past eight months, people seemed to have accepted that I was far from a morning person, so they learned to appreciate my curt nods. Only because I bring coffee. At least that’s my hypothesis.
“Good morning, sunshine!”
My eyeballs immediately rolled to the back. Hearing my boss’ voice in the morning was like nails on a chalkboard. I rolled back with my chair, peaking around my cubical. The bright sunlight illuminated the office through the glass front, reflecting in the angled door to the chief editor’s single office. His figure leaned in the door, arms crossed and hand holding out expectantly.
“S’up, Koko?” I mumble. I knew exactly what he had his hand stuck out for, but I wouldn’t give him the gratification he wanted. That rich fuck, I thought. Bet he snorts his coke with 10k yen bills but can’t even get his own fucking coffee.
“Think my hand is missing an iced Americano this morning. Care to explain?” His slender frame circled around the cubicle wall, now towering above my sitting person. My office was usually occupied by five people in total. Inui always being late and the other three on vacation left me as the only victim. I rolled my eyes at him. “Dunno”, I retorted, opting for my most innocent look. “Think I might have dropped it. You can have a sip of my Cappuccino, but I’m afraid I spat in it.”
Kokonoi Hajime was a peculiar person. He stood at 5’9” and his black locks braided away from the left side of his face was his signature look. He cared a lot about his staff being dressed well, as he himself only own designer suits from Italy. Despite enjoying the power he had over his staff, he also was very liberal in the way we communicated with another at the office. I had never met him before taking the job, but I had certainly heard of Kokonoi way before.
Koko was only a year or two older than I was and back in middle and high school he had a reputation. He lived one school district away from me, but the stories about him were also told at my school. Stories of a financial prodigy that hid behind his wannabe gangster friends that, most of the time, resorted to violence.
“You have a foul mouth”, he snickered, grabbing my cup and taking a sip anyway. “Somebody ever told you that?” I hummed in response, counting my coffee lost, and turned on my laptop. “I have a meeting in five minutes, so please take my calls, will you? Inui is useless, as always.” I nod silently, still grieving the loss of my coffee. Koko’s gaze rested on Inui’s empty desk, then on me. “How’s that big article of yours coming along?”
I knew he meant no harm with that question, but my elevated stress levels along with the acid, that always seems to wing in his voice, made me snap. “Fuck off, alright? I’m working on it.”
The chief editor raised his hands in defense and backed away from my desk, a smile playing about his lips. “The meeting’s until noon. Tell Inui to take my phone when his drags his lazy ass here.”
Inui arrived at 10:30, offering a coffee and a doughnut as a peace offering. I told him to screw off and, finally, concentrated on my article. It was almost done, but I needed it to be perfect before handing it to Kokonoi for proof-reading. I couldn’t afford messing this up if I ever intended of becoming a regular in the print.
I was so emersed in my work that I never saw the visitor arrive or leave. At lunch, all that occupied my mind was my hunger. I didn’t really have a lot of money left, thanks to the fucking chief for having me dress in expensive clothes so he quote unquote didn’t have to claw his eyes out at the sight of me, so a snack from the vending machine it was.
With food just in sight, my feet may have become a little too eager and I stumbled a crashed face first into someone walking by, having them fall onto the marble floor with me. I cussed under my breath and tried to get onto my feet, when there was already a hand outstretched to help me.
“You okay?” I averted my eyes immediately, embarrassment written on my face. “Uh, yeah, I’m alright, I guess. Er, I think you dropped something.” I dove right back down, picking up the visitor laminate. It read ‘Visitor for KOKONOI Hajime. Name-‘
My gaze darted up immediately, meeting a pair of silver eyes staring right back at me. “Mitsuya fucking Takashi?” I whispered in sheer disbelief. My opposite grinned, squeezing his eyes shut doing so. “It’s been a long time, huh, (Y/N)?”
I found myself accompanying Mitsuya to a Korean restaurant down the street for lunch. His treat, he said. The sun was merciless, and he scolded me for not carrying an umbrella with me. “It’s bad for your skin, you know?” I grunted, looking up at him. “Like I care.”
My high school graduation ceremony had been the last time I had seen Mitsuya. Up until then, we had almost been inseparable, having lived in the same shitty apartment complex, visiting the same middle school and him only being one year older. Back then, a lot of things happened. We never really had a fall out, at one point things just changed.
At the restaurant, we slid into a booth and a young waitress came to our table to take our order. Her eyes revealed that she found my companion attractive, but as per usual, he was oblivious. A couple minutes passed, and we were handed our drinks.
“Alcohol at this hour?” His eyebrow shot up in worry, vanishing behind his silver hair. He changed it up a bit since then, leaving his shaved sides in his natural black hair color, his top hair raked with black strands in the otherwise light hair. “Thought you had given up on that.”
I stirred my vodka soda with the glass straw, the ice chinking against the glass. “Yeah, I had.”
Mitsuya didn’t dig any further and leaned back into the cushioned bench instead. “So, a fashion magazine, huh? I thought you always wanted to become a sugar baby, what happened?” At his question I emptied half my drink in one gulp, disregarding the straw completely. “Turns out I’m not really cut for sucking wrinkly dick.” To that, Mitsuya busted out laughing. “You achieved just what you always dreamed of. How does that feel?” I asked quietly.
He stayed silent for a while and I watched him gnawing at the inside of his cheek, clearly thinking about how to choose his next words. “A lot of time has passed, you know?” His voice was dull as he finally spoke. “And a lot happened in between. I guess it was either getting my life under control or…” His voice trailed off, but I knew exactly what he left hanging in the air. Prison. Or even worse, death. “For my sisters’ sake, I chose to get my life together.”
I nodded, fumbling with the glass straw, one burning question on the tip of my tongue. How are the others? Is everyone still alive? I was too afraid of the answer, so I pushed the thought way back.
“Tell me about you, though”, Mitsuya smiled and leaned forward, folding his hands and propping his chin on them. “Working for Koko now, huh? How’s that been?” I groaned quietly and let my head hang. “He’s a fucking pain in the ass. Making me buy all this expensive shit so I’ve got nothing left in the bank. If I knew beforehand who the chief editor was, I would have never taken that job.” Mitsuya chuckled and flicked my forehead. Just like he always used to.
“I know what you mean” he mused. “I never thought I’d see his face again after-“ My eyes shot up at the tone in his voice. I never knew they had met before. Back then, I would have feared for his life. Everyone was young and stupid back then; delinquents with nothing but fist fights on their minds. But the folks Koko had surrounded himself with were more on the actual criminal side.
“What? Mitsuya, you never told me!” Even I was surprised at the pure horror in my voice. “Why didn’t you say something?” Mitsuya shrugged. “Nothing bad ever happened. It was just a surprise to see him in a position like this, that’s all.”
After lunch, which was fucking delicious, dare I add, Mitsuya and I exchanged numbers before going our separate ways.
The rest of the day I couldn’t concentrate on anything anymore. Before I headed home, I met Kokonoi’s gaze through his glass door and it gave me the shivers. Like he was watching me. Like he knew something. Creep. This weird feeling followed me all the way home and I caught myself looking back at every turn, at every red light. For some reason the conversation I have had with my old friend had me nervous. Nervous for him, for me, for everyone. What if Koko’s the same old thug, but with a lot more money and influence?
At home I opened a bottle of white wine, dunked the cap in the bin and sat at my desk, ready to catch up on the time I wasted at the office being worried. With a little liquid confidence, of course. Cheers!
I had approximately gotten about three hours of sleep. My body felt like it had gotten run over by a truck, my brain felt like soup. The only silver lining was, that I had, hallelujah!, finished my article – and my favorite co-worker Natsuki returning from her vacation. She had been working at the magazine already when I had started and showed me around.
Only a few days after I had started working, Atsushi Sendo had been transferred from another internal office to ours. There had been a lot of rumors occurring around his transfer, sexual harassment among them, but in the end, he had only royally fucked up his latest pitch and, as a punishment, had been put under Koko’s supervision, since he’s known to be the meanest editor. He ended up liking to work with us so much that he just stayed. The three of us ended up becoming the bane of Koko’s existence.
I stepped one foot into the office, yawning and pulling an Inui, I can’t believe that I arrived even after him, before I heard Natsuki already picking a fight with the chief editor. I silently put her coffee next to her cup of tea, handed another one to Inui and sat down at my own desk.
“With all due respect, Kokonoi, but you can’t expect me to not freak out when I come back after three weeks and find myarticle published under your name!” I leaned back into my chair, eyes closed, and head thrown back, and listened to the bickering in the chief editor’s office. A few minutes later, Natsuki threw the door into the lock behind her, the heel of her shoes dangerously echoing in the otherwise silent room.
It only took a moment before my sleepy body jumped awake when it got hit by a paper ball. My eyes ripped open just to find her eyes lingering over the wall between our cubicles. “Thanks for the coffee”, she said, raising the cup in a silent toast. I did the same, somewhat straightening up my spine in the seat. “Glad you’re back”, I yawned. “Old scrooge was unbearable.”
“Was?”, Natsuki barked under her breath. “He’s the spawn of hell! Remind me to never take anything from him again. He’s the kind of person to always expect something in return and I don’t even want to think about what he would expect.” I grunted in my chair and sipped on my black coffee, leaving a red lip print on the paper.
“Money” Kokonoi, who unbeknownst to any of us had left his office, answered Natsuki whilst keeping his sly eyes on my. “I don’t take anything but cash. (Y/L/N), where’s your article. Deadline’s today.” Natsuki’s and my eyes met over the screen. Our boss rarely called us by our names, much less our family names - he prefers shit like darling or sweetheart. Why the fuck am I still working here?! – so we knew something was up. And maybe I have a hint.
“Check your mails. I submitted it at, like, 3.” “A.m.?” Natsuki mouthed in disbelief, but I kept my eyes fixed on Kokonoi. He beckoned me with a finger to follow me. “Come in my office for a minute, would you, sweetheart.” There he was again. The egotistical, chauvinistic asshole. The chair hit the screen behind me as I rolled back a little more forceful than intended, but I followed him, anyway.
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connordavidscamera · 3 years
Text
Extra Shot | Connor Brashier
A/n: My precious Rina @goldenflickerx has been attacking me with CONcepts again and I decided that it was time to write one that we’ve talked about. Also, it’s Connor’s birthday, so what better way to kick that off?
Summary: You come into the same cafe at the same time, three times a week and Connor (your barista) has taken a liking to you.
Warnings: fluff, humor
Word count: 2.1k
***
“Hey, wasn’t your shift supposed to end like ten minutes ago?” My coworker, and unfortunate best friend, Sam asks. 
I check the time on the clock again. She was supposed to be here by now, but I guess there’s a lot of traffic. At least, that’s what I’ve heard like six customers complaining about this afternoon. I don’t want to leave until I see her. It’s the best part of my day and if I could just hold off for - 
The bell above the door rings and there she is. I push Sam out of the way and stand at the register to greet her with a bright smile. “Hi, y/n.”
She smiles back at me, and I swear my heart stops when she does. “Hi, Connor,” she says back and oh wow, my name sounds like heaven slipping off her tongue with ease.
“What can I get you today? Vanilla latte, right?” I ask, even though I know her order by heart. “Or are we looking to branch out a little this time?”
She sucks in a breath and looks at the menu, chewing on her bottom lip. “Hmm… I don’t think today will be a something new day. Maybe next time though. Next time you can get me your favorite drink. How about that?”
I nod, grabbing a cup and writing her order on the side. “I think I can’t wait for that.” I tap on the screen, “So that comes out to $4.36.”
She already has her card out, she always does, and inserts it in the chip reader. I watch her perfectly manicured nails tap the counter as she waits. She always has her nails done. Not in those long acrylics that most girls come in with, although I have seen her come in with those a couple times too. But they’re always done, I’ve noticed. “So, how’s your day going today? Busy?”
I shake my head, “Not too bad. It’s been pretty steady. You’re actually my last customer of the day. My shift ends in five minutes.”
“Oh, well lucky me,” she teases, but I know she means it and I have to look away so she can’t tell that I’m blushing.
The machine prompts her to take out her card, and at the same time we go, “No receipt.”
She smiles softly at me and gives me a single nod. “I’ll have your drink right out for you.”
“Thank you, Connor. You’re an angel.”
Now I really can’t fight the blush.
I take extra care making her latte. I’m the only one who makes it. Not because she requests me, but because I won’t let anyone else touch it. She’s my customer and I’m not letting anything get in the way of that.
“Here you go, y/n. Iced vanilla latte. I added an extra shot. Looked like you needed it.”
She smiles brightly at me, “An angel, Connor. I mean it. Thank you.”
I nod, “Of course. I’ll see you next week?”
“Same time,” she nods. “Yes. Have a good weekend.”
“You too,” I say as she turns to leave.
The door barely closes behind her before Sam is right behind me. “You’re drooling,” he says in my ear, causing me to jump.
“What? No, I’m not. Shut up.”
“Bro, you’ve been caught up on that girl since the day she started coming in. Just ask her out already.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, no? So you didn’t just push me out of the way so you could take her order? And you haven’t done it every single time she’s come in since the beginning?”
“Nope,” I shrug, untying my apron.
“Your shift ended almost twenty minutes ago. You were waiting for her.”
“Drop it, Sam. You have no idea what you’re even talking about.”
He holds his hands up in surrender. “Okay. Sure. I’ll leave it alone. But she does have you so fucked.”
I toss my apron at his head. “Fuck off! I’m gone,” I say, clocking out and grabbing my keys from my locker.
He laughs as I walk out of the building. I shake my head as I head to my car. Maybe he isn’t wrong. Okay, no. He isn’t wrong at all. I am completely and totally gone for her and I know next to nothing about her.
I do know this though. Tuesday, the first day she comes in during the week, she almost always gets an extra shot of espresso in her drink. And on Wednesday, she always gets a scone – if we have them, she prefers blueberry, but she’ll settle for any other kind if we’re out. (And when I’m in charge of ordering inventory, I make sure we have enough.) And Thursday is usually a surprise. She flip flops between what she gets on those days. I think she’s just worn out from school or work – I’m not sure which one, if either – at that point that she just comes in for a pick me up.
Little does she know that she’s my pick me up. Every day she comes in, I’m so excited to see her. The first time I saw her? I swear I saw my future walking through that door. She just looked so fucking pretty. And she was so sweet, and she smiled at me like she knew me, like she could see right through me. And not to be dramatic, but I’m pretty sure her smile could light up the night sky if the moon wasn’t out. Actually, it could probably compete with the moon and win. (But again, I’m not being dramatic.)
---
Tuesday is crazy busy. Finals week. It always get s like this, and honestly, I am running around the café like a chicken with my head cut off. People aren’t getting what they ordered, they’re complaining that we’re out of something. Others are complaining that we’re taking our sweet precious time as if their time doesn’t matter – or as if there aren’t fifteen other orders in front of them that we have to take care of before theirs. It’s absolute chaos and I’m so ready for this shift to be over so I can go home and pass the fuck out.
And I swear if one more person complains about the fact that we’re having to use paper straws, I’m going to lose it. I’m in the middle of filling the coffee maker with more grounds when the bell rings above the door and I swear I can feel my heart beating in my eyeballs (although that might be because I added three extra shots to my drink when I took my break).
“Connor,” Sam pats my shoulder. “You take this one.”
“What? No, why? I’m already doing-“
“Y/n’s here,” he says.
I quickly turn to the register and it’s like my whole mood has changed. “Oh, yeah. I got this one.” I set the water down on the counter and run my hand through my hair that’s no doubt a mess at this point. I hope she doesn’t notice. “Hi.”
She sends me a sympathetic smile and that’s how I know I must look as bad as I feel. “Hi, Connor. You doing okay?”
“Better now,” I say matter-of-factly. “I’m glad you’re here. Good to see a friendly face.”
She hums, “Not a lot of nice customers today.”
I chuckle, “Let’s just say drinks have been spilt, names have been called, and my two week notice has been typed up and it’s ready to be sent if one more person complains about us being out chocolate chip cookies.”
She laughs, “Oh no. I’m so sorry.”
I shake my head, “It’s okay. Helping you out has been the highlight of my day.”
“Oh? Well, I am flattered.”
“What am I getting you today?”
“Well, I think we discussed last time, you making me your favorite drink. So I can branch out.”
I nod and smile, grabbing a cup, “Yes. We did. I’ll have it ready for you in a minute.”
“How much?” She asks, ready to insert her card, but I shake my head.
“No charge. It’s on me today.”
“What? No, Connor. I can’t let you do that.”
“No, please. I got it. Especially because I don’t want you paying for something and then you don’t like it? No way. It’s on me.”
“But-“
“Y/n, I’m not taking your money. And if you argue with me, I will put in my two weeks’ notice right now.”
She gasps, “The audacity!”
I laugh, I can’t help it. “Your order will be right out,” I say smugly.
Reluctantly, she puts her card away and moves to the side of the counter to pick up her drink. I’m about to start swirling in the caramel when it all comes out in one big glob and then nothing at all. I groan and look to Sam, “Gotta get more caramel from the back. You good here for a minute?”
“Yeah, got it covered.”
It takes me five minutes to find the caramel because whoever put it away during the morning shift didn’t put it where it was supposed to go. And in these five minutes, I have heard the bell above the door ring six more times and I know Sam can’t handle this on his own. But I finally get it, and promise to rip the morning staff a new one next time I come in. I rush out the back and Sam is working the cash register again, and y/n is standing there at the counter patient as ever.
I breathe a sigh of relief because of course she’s there with a soft smile on her face. I return the sentiment when I catch her eye. Then I’m back to making her drink. Before I hand it to her, I draw a semi-terrifying smiley face on the side of the cup and hand it to her. “I hope you like it. And sorry about that wait. The morning staff is so gonna get it tomorrow.”
She laughs, and I melt. I want to hear that sound for the rest of my life. It’s the most beautiful sound in the world. “Don’t worry about the wait. I’ve got nowhere to be, so I don’t mind the wait. Or the company,” she smiles. “You’re working tomorrow?”
I nod, “Same time.”
“Okay, maybe if it’s not so busy, you can tell me about how it goes with the morning staff.”
I smile, “Yes, I will definitely do that.”
“Okay, well I will leave you to work. Sam looks like he’s about to pull his hair out.”
I look over at my friend who is attempting to make three drinks at a time, which in a rush like this, is only a recipe for disaster. “Yeah, I should help him. I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
She hums, “Yes, you will. Have a good rest of your day, Connor.”
“You too, y/n.”
---
I plop down on my bed, completely exhausted. Besides the drive home, this was the first time I’ve been off my feet since I got to work. I check the time on the clock by my bed and groan. I was supposed to meet a couple of my friends for a drink tonight, but honestly, nothing sounds more unappealing than that right now. So, I shoot a text to Will and tell him I won’t be coming out tonight and then I slowly push myself off the bed.
A shower would be nice. You wouldn’t think being a barista would cause you to sweat so much, btu dear god, when we hit that afternoon rush, it feels like you’re running a marathon. And right now, I just need to get out of these clothes and into bed.
My shower takes longer than usual, not for any particular reason other than I just stood under the water for a good ten minutes before I even thought of grabbing any soap.
I come back into my bedroom to my phone dinging with a message. I assume it’s just Will calling me out for not wanting to go with them tonight, so I ignore it and go to my dresser to get some boxers and a pair of shorts. I’m wringing out the water in my hair (that desperately needs a cut, but I’m far too busy to get one right now) when I go to grab my phone as it dings again.
I have one message from Will, and one from an unknown number. I furrow my brows at that and click on it.
Unknown
Hey! Did your day end up getting better after I left?
That’s weird. I never get random texts like this.
Me
I’m sorry. I think you have the wrong number.
Unknown
Is this Connor?
M
… yeah
Unknown
It’s y/n. Sam gave me your number. Apparently you get mopey when I leave.
So… did it get better? Or were you mopey lol
***
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that-otome-potato · 3 years
Text
Making Up for Lost Time
This was something I put together for a request sent to me by @lancermylove ages ago. Request: You don't have to do all or even any of the requests I'm sending in. XD Here's my other idea: Kokuyou and s/o grew up together in an orphanage. Kids were mistreated there and s/o was always targeted, but Kokuyou always stood up for her. I imagine kid!s/o not getting food and kid!kokuyou sharing his food with her. They stayed together even through their teen years and even got intimate (nsfw sprinkles, if you like)~. Then one day they had an argument over something at the old Starless, and she disappeared. Kokuyou thought he left her, but she was kidnapped. She was rescued by Kei or Sotetsu and ended up getting engaged to him. When she met Kokuyou, she didn't recognize him, much to his shock. The rest of it, I leave up to your creative mind~. <3 Pairing: Kokuyou x MC (name insert) Rating: NSFW - Explicit Warnings: Kidnapping, detailed sex scene. Note: I'M SORRY THIS IS 6 MONTHS LATE!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!! Read more to save space because this is a long one...
There were many things Kokuyou found himself regretting throughout his life.  Decisions he’d made only to find out he’d been wrong, actions that ended up hurting himself or others.  There were fights both physical and verbal, arguments that would lead to tears and wrinkled brows.
It was the same with his relations with __________, but it didn’t stop the passions the two of them had afterwards.  Perhaps that was why he sometimes started the heated arguments they would have, because it would often lead to him taking her against any flat surface he could find, the level of privacy depending on how fast he could steal her away from prying eyes.
The two of them had been friends since their days in an orphanage.  __________ was the new kid and some of the older boys were picking on her, stealing her food, the day he met __________.  It was survival of the fittest back in those days and there was something about the way her eyes peered into his, touching him soul deep even when both of them were so young, that drew Kokuyou to her.  He became her personal protector despite her protests.
Many years later, he had been walking down town, skipping school, when he came across a place he’d never seen before. Underneath an unreadable sign, there was a half hidden door that had been propped open. He shrugged and began walking past when he heard music coming from within.  Something about the style made his legs move towards the entrance.  Inside, it was dark all around the stage, but the stage itself? Lit up like the sun shining on snow covered ground in the middle of winter.
After being asked to join when Koharu had discovered him practicing along with the group on stage, Kokuyou brought ___________ in as a stagehand since she couldn’t be a part of the performers and he couldn’t bring himself to not have her near.
~A couple years later~
“Hey you!  Have you seen __________ anywhere?”
The stagehand smiled down at an older Kokuyou.  “Made her run off, have ya?  You two are always attached at the hip, but you sure argue a lot.”
Koharu raised her head up from the other side of the stage where she had been working on some decorations for the next show.  “I saw her run off towards the back door.”
Kokuyou turned to follow, but was stopped by a small hand on his bicep as he passed her. “Kokuyou, I know you’re young and have a lot of time for thoughts of the future, but I know how much __________ means to you.  You guys have been friends - and more - for over ten years.  I know you love this old place, but don’t you think it’s time to choose?  Starless or __________?”
Twenty-one year old Kokuyou threaded his fingers through his hair and released a huff.  “__________ wouldn’t ask me to do that, Koharu.  She loves this place almost as much as I do.”
“Then think of your future.  Is she in it?”
“What do you mean?  Don’t ask me such a stupid question.”
“You might want to remind her of that.  Especially when she sees other girls and women draped over you, night after night.  It’s why you fight more often than not, right?”
Kokuyou stared down at the older woman.  She looked worried about what was going on.  More so than usual.  He just shrugged it off, turning to go back to work.  “Koharu, you worry too much.  She always comes back, you’ll see.”
He rubbed a painful throbbing that had formed in his chest as he went to follow her.
~Six years later~
Kokuyou woke with a start as the memory of the day __________ had disappeared bore down on his subconscious.
She never came back.
He sat up and clutched his head to keep the memories from that time from taking over, but it never worked - they always blocked his vision of anything else until they had run their course.
The memory about how he had waited three days after not finding her in the alley, before he called her phone only to find out her number had been disconnected.  When he had gone to where she worked when not at Starless, they hadn’t seen her in as many days.
‘Must have really pissed her off this time.’ Kokuyou remembered thinking to himself after receiving the news from her job. Eventually, he had left that thought alone in the back of his head.  He’d pined silently for her, kicking himself for fucking up so bad because he never told her his feelings for her. Koharu had been right - it wasn’t his style, but he should have told her that she wasn’t just his fuck buddy and best friend.
All these years later, it was still one of his greatest regrets.  He just threw himself into Starless more after, trying to get past her loss. But it wasn’t as easy as he thought it would be.
At times like this, by himself in his room, he thought about her. His early life was filled with memories of her that played before his eyes now like a movie. How they’d met as kids, the time she had given him a black eye because he was new to teenage hormones and had said something she hadn’t liked.  How they grew up together, were each other’s first kiss. How they had acted on their attraction after he’d graduated, when she was in her third year of high school.
The memories from then on hurt him the most.
Those memories were softer, more intimate, where Kokuyou showed _________ what he felt for her with his body rather than with his words.  He told her how special she was to him when he would carry her bridal style to the bed they shared.
‘You are beautiful’ when he would place kisses all over her barred flesh.  ‘You are my world’ when he touched his lips to the heat between her legs, worshiping her as she deserved, making her cry out in pleasure.
‘I love you’ when he entered her slowly to set a steady pace he knew would set her body aflame with desire, his own always responding in kind.
‘I need you with me’ when, after their thirst for each other was quenched, he would face her in bed to take one of her hands and lace their fingers together and hold her tight against his larger body.
Now, Kokuyou rubbed his large hand over his face and flopped back onto his back in the bed they’d once shared.  He placed his hand on the side of the bed you had favored, spreading his fingers out as if seeking the heat you left there, long since gone.
His stomach clenched as the last days they had spent together returned.  How they had come together in a frenzy after a particularly intense rehearsal with the other guys.  The muscles of his lower belly tensed, the tip of his hard manhood weeping and begging for attention.
Kokuyou took himself in hand and began stroking, thinking about how __________’s lips used to feel around him, sucking him deep.  The way her body gripped him like a vice the closer she got to climaxing as she rode him hard and fast.  In mere moments, thoughts of their sexual activities over the years they were together brought about release, leaving thick streams over his skin and pooling in his bellybutton.
When his heart rate calmed again, he let out a ‘tch’ with disgust.  When would it end?  Why did no other woman he’d been with since then, haunt him like __________ did? Was it her spirit refusing to leave him alone?  He immediately cut that thought off.  He refused to believe anything happened to her that was irrevocable and meant they woudln’t meet again.  She was out in the world somewhere, living her best life away from Starless - away from him - and she was happy.
It had to be enough.
Kokuyou turned over to look at his phone charging on the bed next to him and saw he still had an hour before he had to get up.  He had to get his head in the game today - It was the first day of a new versus challenge, and his team was up against Rindou and his crew.
‘Might as well start warming up then’.  He thought to himself as he sat up once more, flinging his legs over the side of the bed to place his bare feet on the cold ground.
An hour later, he was at Starless.
~*~
After warming up with the rest of Team W and going over the performance one more time, Kokuyou and the rest of his team went into the locker room to change into their performance costumes.
“Has anyone else heard about Sotetsu’s lady friend?”
“Why?  That’s K stuff.”
Takami, who had asked the question, shrugged, his blood red eyes flashing with his smile.  “I bring it up simply because no one else has mentioned it. I felt the topic merited conversation.  Particularly since it’s Sotetsu.”
When he received a number of confused looks,  Takami released an exasperated breath. “There is no greater teaser of women in all the city than him.  What kind of woman is she to have gotten so close to him?”
‘__________ would have,’ Kokuyou’s thoughts wandered as he pulled his shoes on.  He ‘tsk’d, shaking his head to scatter such thoughts.
The small sound he had created caught Takami’s attention, drawing his studious gaze unbeknownst to him.
Hours later, the show having just finished, Kokuyou and the rest of that night’s performers were just finishing changing when Sotetsu poked his head in, still in his Wait staff attire.
“Everyone decent? V.I.P coming in.”
“V.I.P? What the fuck is he on about?” Kokuyou wasn’t expecting a reply, but got one from Sin.
“Sotetsu’s V.I.P.”
Kokuyou pushed his curiosity away.  That bastard’s friend had nothing to do with him.  He was just finishing packing his gym bag to head home, when he heard a voice that made his entire being freeze in place.  One he never thought he’d hear again.
‘It can’t be…' he thought to himself as he turned slowly, his brows furrowed deep as his crimson gaze honed in on Sotetsu before moving to the woman next to him.  He felt a gasp catch in his throat in its attempt to escape.
It was __________.  At first, he hoped his eyes were deceiving him, that his dreams from the night before were affecting his waking world, but Sotetsu introduced her by name and it was Kokuyou’s missing lover.
A look of displeasure became etched deeper and deeper on Kokuyou’s face.  What the hell was going on?  Where has __________ been for the last six years?  Why is she with Sotetsu of all people?  He wanted, needed, to know, but all the pain he felt after and since she disappeared came back in one fell swoop, making his chest hurt. Something he didn’t like at all and he felt the need to knead his chest muscles with his knuckles to relieve the tension.
When Sotetsu got to him with the introductions, her eyes widened then furrowed ever so slightly with a look of confusion. So, she recognized him.  There was infinitesimal relief at that information that had managed to get past his upset at her arrival.
Back out in the break area outside the locker room, Sotetsu left her with Team W so he could help his own team with something.  The moment Sotetsu was out of sight, but before his team could move in on her with their curiosity, Kokuyou strode over to her on long legs, gripped her upper arm with his strong hand, and dragged her towards the back alley.
She protested, but he barely felt it.
Once outside, he let her wrench herself away and she spun on him, hackles and fist raised in defense as she faced him like a cornered animal.
“What the hell is going on?!”
“I’d ask you the same thing, __________.  What are you doing here with Sotetsu?”
She bristled at his question.  “I don’t see how it’s any of your business.  I don’t even know you!”
Not much could shock Kokuyou.  But her words caused his body to cease any kind of movement and his eyes went wide.  Didn’t know him?  How was that fucking possible/  Sure, he’d changed a bit over the last six years, but they’d slept together for years before that.  No one could know him better than her.
Kokuyou reached out and clasped her shoulders to make her focus on him. “What do you mean, you don’t know me?”
__________ moved her arms to her front, as he’d taught her when they were younger, and quickly broke his hold on her before shoving the palm of one of her hands up into his nose.  Pain exploded from where she had hit him and he reared back.
“Motherfucker!” Kokuyou howled, his hands moving to cover his injured nose, relieved that it was somehow not bleeding.
“I mean, I don’t know who you fucking are beyond Sotetsu’s introduction, asshole.  Touch me again and I’ll kick your ass into next week.”
A sense of nostalgia came over Kokuyou as she stormed off back towards the others, the exact same way she had the last time they’d fought.
He needed to talk to Sotetsu since she likely wouldn’t speak to him any time soon after the way he acted.
~*~
The next day, Kokuyou found Sotetsu in the back alley taking a smoke break.  Kokuyou took out his own pack of cigarettes from his pants pocket as he sat on one of the stairs and pulled one out.  He cursed under his breath when he pat his pockets down for his lighter and it was missing.
He eyed Sotetsu for a moment. “Can I get a light?”
A moment later, Sotetsu flicked the tab on his zippo and it flared to life.  Kokuyou leaned forward, lit the end and took a drag of his cigarette before sighing.
“What’s on your mind, Kokuyou?” Kokuyou looked at the side of Sotetsu’s head from where he sat two steps up behind him and to Sotetsu’s right.
“That friend of yours…”
“What about her?”
“You know her past?”
Sotetsu released his own sigh, a wisp of smoke escaping and moving up into the sky. “Nah, though not for a lack of trying.  Why? Do you know something?”
‘Ever the info broker.’ Kokuyou simply shrugged.  “Knew her back in the day.  Doesn’t remember me though."
Sotetsu looked at him from over his shoulder for a few moments.  Kokuyou could feel his limbs twitch under the other man’s gaze. Kokuyou readied himself to decline any further questioning the other man may want to perform, but Sotetsu just shrugged and focused his golden gaze forward.
“Want me to talk to her?”
Kokuyou frowned.  “Why? What would be in it for you?”
Sotetsu took another drag from his cigarette, released the smoke, and smiled at nothing before him.  “For entertainment’s sake, of course.”
Kokuyou just rolled his eyes, causing the other man to chuckle. “I’ll be straight with you, Kokuyou.  It’s more than entertainment.  She’s my friend and I want her to be happy.  She is also a nut I’ve been unable to crack since I met her because she doesn’t remember her childhood.”
This caught Kokuyou’s attention. “She doesn’t remember anything?”
“Yeah.  I’ve tried asking her about her past, but when she doesn’t avoid the subject altogether by talking around it, she unintentionally alludes to not knowing things.  Even her birthday.”
Without even realizing it, Kokuyou blurted out her birthday, then immediately pursed his lips tight to keep from offering the other man anything else. Sotetsu just smirked.
“Thanks for that.  Now I know when to celebrate.  To repay you for the date, a little info for info.  Over the last year that I’ve known her, I’ve gotten two impressions from her: Something traumatic happened to her and that she cared deeply for someone from her past.  Since you say you knew her once, maybe you’ll be able to help her regain her memory.”
Kokuyou watched Sotetsu stand to go back inside before turning back to stare into the alley behind the shop.
“Oh, and Kokuyou?” Kokuyou looked up at him again.  “If you hurt her, I will insist on a rematch between us. Next time, I won’t lose to you. More will be at stake than my pride.”
A scoff escaped his lips at the brunette’s boastful proclamation. He had learned his lesson when she had disappeared the first time.  He wouldn’t let his anger get the better of him again. At least he’d try not to. ‘Memory loss, huh? Makes sense now.’
The question he really needed to ask was after how he’d spoken to her earlier, would she listen?
~*~
Several days later…
“Kokuyou? Sotetsu said you wanted to talk about something? He said you might be able to help me find out about my past.”
‘Meddlesome asshole…’ Kokuyou sighed when he heard __________’s voice.  Though he had a few other choice titles to bestow the Team K member, he was also a little happy for the other man’s help.
Several days had passed since Sotetsu’s introduction.  In that time, __________ had only been back once and when she had been here, it had felt as if she had been avoiding him the whole time.  Honestly, he couldn’t blame her after the way he’d grabbed her - his nose still ached.  So when he watched her approach him now from under the table he was at, he couldn’t help but feel a little leery on the inside.
“Yeah, I know about your past.  Are you sure you want to know?  That you’re ready?”  A nod from her made him pause as he finished repairing the table in the audience area, then moved until he could look up at her.
She stood above him, arms crossed under her breasts, pushing them up enticingly, yet he noted the way her hands gripped the elbow of the opposite arms. She gave off an air of being strong and in charge with her words, but her actions spoke of anxiety and fear. Of what he might tell her in answer?  Understandably, but this wasn’t the same woman he knew before she disappeared.  What happened to her?
Kokuyou stood up from the floor and pulled a chair out.  He set it backwards against the table, flung a leg over the side and sat, crossing his arms over the back before looking at her. He tilted his head towards the chair next to him indicating she should sit down, which she reluctantly did, never releasing the hold she had on herself.
“What do you wanna know?”
__________ looked down at the top of the old, chipped, wooden table before looking back up at him with determination.  “Where am I from? How do you know me?”
Kokuyou scratched his chin as he looked at her, then nodded when that determination remained.  “You came to the orphanage that I’d been living in when I was, oh, eight or so.  You were six. Don’t know why you got left there, never asked.  Didn’t even notice you at first until one of the other kids in my age group and his crew started picking on you.”
He carded his fingers through his blood red locks and let out a sigh.  “Dunno why, but I felt compelled to help you with them.  Even after they stopped bothering you all together, I couldn’t bring myself to stop trying to protect you.  There was just something about you that drew me in and I didn't want to leave.  You were fun, witty, smart.  We were friends until I was nineteen and you were seventeen."
"Is that when I lost my memory?"
'Should I tell her we were sleeping together?' Kokuyou asked himself, looking away for the first time since he started.
"Kokuyou?  What happened next?"
He released a sigh.  After she had disappeared, he had sworn to himself that if she ever returned, he'd never lie to her and would put her first. But how do you tell someone who'd lost their memory that you used to fuck?
"Our friendship remained, it just...evolved to something more."
"More? As in..." Kokuyou turned to face her, red eyes locking on hers and refusing to release.  Her cheeks colored a pretty shade of dark pink and that told him she'd caught onto his meaning.  "I...I see."
One of Kokuyou's dark eyebrows shot up nearly to his scarlet hair.  "You believe me?" __________ nodded.  "Why?  Because of your lost memory, we may as well have just met.  Everything I just told you could have been a lie."
She just nodded.  "You're right about that.  I don't know.  Something about seeing you makes my stomach feel strange but not in a bad way.  Perhaps it's similar to your story about how we met?  Besides, you're the only one who's made me feel like that and gave me some form of answers about my past.  Not even Sotetsu could help me find out about my past. All though, he probably could have complied an entire history on me if I knew my last name, birthdate, etc."  She continued staring at him, any trace of her previous blush was gone.
"Trusting you feels right."
Her last words were like a punch in the gut because she had said something like that when they were kids.  "You've said that to me before." Kokuyou felt a small, soft smile form unbidden on his lips.
__________ gave him a look of surprise for no longer than the blink of an eye before scooting her chair closer to his and placing her smaller hands on either side of his face to make him focus on her. An awkward moment followed where she stared deep into his wide eyes as if trying desperately to find something hidden in their depths.
What was she looking for? Could she see the answers she sought in his eyes? Could she see his last memories of her, with her back facing him as she stormed off, playing back over and over in his head over the years? How that thought, and the accompanying regret, haunted him until this day?  The regret he felt for not going after that day and how he took for granted that she would always return?
A shorter version of __________'s name escaped his lips, deep and raspy, as if he'd spent too much time in the smoke surrounding a campfire - like sandpaper on wood on a humid summer day. A tone and texture reserved for the bedroom when two lovers are in the midst of passions, when sugar sweet words get whispered between them. A voice that only she had ever caused him to use - no woman since had done so.
He watched as her eyebrows flew up under her bangs in surprise, followed by a slight pinkening of her cheeks, before her brow scrunched hard as if in deep thought.  A grunt of pain escaped her when she looked to the side while still clutching his face.  Kokuyou reached up to gently hold both of her wrists in his hands, concern flooding him. "__________?  What's wrong?"
In a snap, her eyes went wide and she shoved herself away from him despitehis grip on her.  She covered her mouth with her hands as she sent herself flying back in her chair.  Kokuyou moved with her in reflex, to catch her so she wouldn't hit her head on the polished concrete floor.  He managed to wrap himself around her, her neck in the crook of his arm and his other arm around her waist, as they fell to the floor with a crash of chairs and tables he'd hit on their way down.
Once they'd settled again on the floor, Kokuyou shifted so he was looking down at her in concern.  He wanted to chuckle because she'd managed to keep her hands cupped over her mouth and eyes tightly shut during the entire situation, but he didn't feel the time was right.
When he heard the sound of multiple sets of feet rushing over, all expressing shock and concern at the cacophony the two of them had made, Kokuyou waved them off, assuring them everything was okay and that he'd teased her too much.
As soon as their audience had vacated - Kokuyou could still feel Sotetsu's eyes on him - he used his hand not under her to show her rare tenderness when he brought his hand up to stroke her cheek with his palm, moving strands of her hair from her face.
"You good?  What was that?"
His focus honed in on her when he felt her whole body shiver at his touch.  The sensation was achingly familiar to him from their days as lovers.
After a few moments of silence, __________ sighed.  "Kokuyou? Did we argue a lot... before?" Kokuyou grunted his confirmation as he paused his hands movement on the side of her face.
"I...I think...I see..." She uncovered her face and looked up at him with tears in her eyes.  Hope dared to flare in his heart at the flicker of recognition growing in her eyes.
Kokuyou quickly sat up, bringing __________ with him, never taking his eyes off of her. "Do you remember something?"
She cast her gaze around as if with new eyes, then they landed on him and she smiled before wrapping her arms around him.  When she pulled herself close to his pierced ear, she whispered, "I remember everything."
Kokuyou turned his head to stare at her in shock.  She remembered everything? "Everything?"
__________ nodded. "I remember how I stormed off after our fight.  I'm sorry I'm so late coming back."
He turned away from her and wrapped his strong arms around her tight. "Stupid, you don't need to apologize for that. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you," he growled into her shoulder, pressing his nose to her shirt, taking in her familiar sweet scent.
She nuzzled her nose into his neck, her hot breath on his flesh sending chills down his spine. "If I'm not allowed to apologize, neither are you."
They embraced for a time, not nearly enough to make up for their six-year separation, before Kokuyou pulled away enough to look into her shining eyes.  He tilted his head slightly in question as to why her eyes were watering and she chuckled. __________ just shook her head.
"You look older than I remember." This made Kokuyou grown playfully at her before huffing.
"You haven't changed a bit."
There was so much he wanted, needed, to say. So much he should have told her before she disappeared for six years.  But no words came forward.
"Let's go to my place.  Can't talk here." ___________ nodded immediately and they left the shop, hand-in-hand.
~*~
After being attacked by two dozen gazes of differing emotions as they left Starless, Kokuyou and __________ were back at his place in no time.
Kokuyou watched her as she walked around the small apartment;  eyes taking in every detail she could see aorund her, soft fingers trailing along every surface she came in contact with to feel familiar textures.  He could hear her take in scens around her with happy little hums.
"Nothing's changed? In all this time?"
Kokuyou's shoulders lifted and he gave her a look of indifference.  "Been busy at Starless and keeping Mizuki out of trouble."
Things instantly quieted and he knew why - his dedication to Starless.  The reason for their arguments.  He knew it was a problem he'd had from the beginning, but he wasn't going to change.  She had known that, yet it had been upsetting to her enough to storm off where it wasn't safe, leading to her getting caught by an unknown enemy.
"Sotetsu mentioned him.  Team B's leader, right?" Kokuyou nodded.  He felt everything inside him freeze and heat up at the same time when __________ returned to stnd before him. She gently placed her smaller hand on his chest, the heat of her touch seeping into him, thawing the ice that had formed in her absence.
She looked up at Kokuyou again for a moment tht felt like an eternity. "I was wrong."
When he looked at her in confusion again, she smiled softly at him.  "You've changed.  You've become even more handsome than I remember." After she gave her words time to sink in to his thoughts, she offered him a frown to match his own.
"Kokuyou, I have to ask:  After everything that's happened over the last six years, could there ever be an 'us' again?  Even when my memory was taken from me, my heart never belonged to another.  But I don't know if you feel the same."
He didn't know what to say in reply.  So many years has passed - faceless women, places, events - she had been like a phantom, a wraith, in the back of his mind, coming forward in his times alone where dark thoughts took over and when he needed release.  No one had replaced her in his heart. Yet she was the one asking about a potential future, a continuation of what they'd had before.
This had to be a dream.
His depraved mind was playing tricks on him again, making him think she'd returned.  He was still asleep in his bed - had to be.  Her scent, the feeling of her skin, her body against his, all figments of his imagination. If he was right, and this was his mind giving him a sight he'd longed for for so long, then he was going to enjoy it. If it turned out he was completely mad, then so be it.
Without uttering another word, Kokuyou placed his hands on both sides of her jaw and drew her into a deep, passionate kiss, thrusting his tongue past her lips when she gasped in surprise, to tangle his tongue with her own.
It didn't take her long to recover before melting into his kiss, pressing her body against his as if she couldn't get close enough.  It felt familiar, this kiss.  It felt like home. It felt different, too - the six year gap lending their meeting of lips a sense of newness.
Kokuyou moaned into her mouth that scorched him like the sun when she took his tongue between her sucked hard on it, reminding him of more things her talented mouth could do.
His hands trailed down her arms, her sides, pausing at the hem of her shirt, placing his thumbs under the cloth to touch the skin of her belly.  He marveled at the feeling;  Soft as velvet covering firm muscle, heating up under his finger the longer his hand lingered there.  He pulled away, their lips smacking at the separation, and he looked into her eyes.  Half-lidded, heady desire gazed back.
"Koku -"
Kokuyou felt a sound rumbling in his chest at the use of the shortened version of his name she had started calling him as children, something only she had been allowed to do.
Slanting his lips across hers, he took them hungrily once more.  He gripped the hem of her shirt and pulled away long enough to jerk the offending fabric over her head and allow her to do the same to his red sleeveless shirt, both articles of clothing flying off somewhere else in the room.
His lips were instantly back on her skin, attacking her neck this time and tasting the sweat that was leaving her flesh shining and making his mouth water.  He was spurred on by her deep groans and breathy moans, especially when she latched on to leave a petal-shaped mark on her neck, under her earlobe.
Through the fog of arousal currently clouding his vision and thoughts, he felt her hands touching his hard chest, curling her fingers slightly to leave red lines on his tanned flesh.  Without warning and with surprising strength, she pushed against him hard enough for him to fall back on the bed.  He looked up at her in surprise as she immediately jumped onto him to straddle his hips, his arousal pressing against the zipper of his jeans to nestle comfortably in her cleft through her cloth pants. He gripped her hips with his large hands to steady her, relishing in the feel of her body on his in such an intimate way.
Kokuyou had to choke back a moan as __________ began rocking her hips back and forth along his clothed shaft, her body undulating like a wave in the ocean. His hands moved from her hips, up her torso under her shirt, to cup her breasts through her bra, feeling her pebbled nipples against his palms.  __________ didn't seem satisfied when he didn't squeeze her breasts, so she placed her hands over his and made his hands grip them harder without ceasing how her hips were moving over him.
"Fuck, _________, you been practicing?  Where did you learn this?" Kokuyou panted out as he took her nipples between his calloused thumb and index fingers, rolling them with his digits.
"I've always been lusty, I'm remembering. Might have seen this on a vid or two and wanted to try it but no guy over the last few years has been the right one.  Not Sotetsu, either, though he expressed interest." She let her voice trail away as the quiet was filled with panted breath and the rustling of clothes.  Then she looked at him and stopped moving all together. "So Koku, when are you going to fuck me?"
Kokuyou blinked up at her in surprise before smirking.  He sat up straight, wrapped his strong arm around her waist and flipped them over so he was looming over her.  He used his arm around her to move her further onto the bed, then he used his free hand to pull her bottoms off, the heat from their activity burning him from the inside out, flaring hotter when he found she wasn't wearing panties.
He raised one dark eyebrow in question towards her.  All she did was shrug.  Kokuyou chuckled and finished removing her bottoms, leaving nips and kisses on the revealed skin of her body and lower.  Pants cast elsewhere, he pressed his middle and ring fingers against her entrance, finding no resistance from the level of arousal she was feeling. Pride filled his chest when her body shivered from the top of her head to the tips of her cute toes.  A rumble escaped him from deep in his chest, his body moving down and curling to place his lips on her sensitive bud above where his fingers were sliding in and out of her body.
__________ reached into his hair, gripping the crimson strands hard and holding him closer as he devoured her, drinking down the sounds she was making and the desire pooling between her legs.
"K...Koku, wait.  I... I want..."
Kokuyou released her clit with a wet pop before looking up at her while licking his lips clean of her sweet essence. He smirked at the sight of her eyes dialating with desire and following his tongue along his lower lip.
"What do you want, __________?" He eagerly awaited her answer with a smirk as he continued slowly moving his finger within her, scissoring them to stretch her for him so she couldn't feel pain.
She used her grip on his short hair to pull him up so she could take his lips that shone in the dim light of the room, tasting her arousal on him.  "I want to fuck like we have six years to make up for and not a lot of time to do it."
Kokuyou nearly choked in surprise as her words caused an intense shot of arousal straight to his groin.  "That can be arranged."
He almost didn't recognize his own voice for how much deeper and raspier it was with his desire.
Kokuyou sat back, __________ moving with him, and together they removed his pants and boxers lightning fast. __________ fell back on the bed again, Kokuyou falling on her, their torsos gliding against each other easily from the sheen of sweat on both of them.  As he moved forward to kiss her again, he hooked both of her knees with his hands, pressing her knees up near her shoulders, his shaft drawn towards her heat as if controlled by magnets.  With one easy snap of his hips forward, he was completely sheathed inside her.  __________ called out and he looked towards her in concern, thinking he'd hurt her somehow, but all he saw was her flushed face and blown pupils.
__________ reached around her sides to grip his hips when he didn't move once inside her, and dug her blunt nails into his skin and growled in frustration.
"Come on, Koku.  Show me how you've changed.  Unless you've gotten rusty..."
A bark of a laugh, rare in sound and form, escaped him at her challenge. "Damn, woman, gimme a sec.  It's been a while since I've felt this good being with someone.  Couldn't have things end too soon, right?"
"Like at the school festival my final year of high school?"
Kokuyou frowned at her before giving her a punishing thrust and smirking at her gasp.  "Why didja ahve to bring that up now?  I'm gonna have to prove myself now." __________ started giggling until Kokuyou pulled his hips back again and plunged back into her hot depths  and she gasped again, reaching for his forearms to leave rescent marks on his taught, tanned flesh. The marks darkening when he rubbed the crown of his manhood along a particularly sensitive spot within her body.
Over the next several minutes, with his hands holding her hips steady, while the speed at which Kokuyou moved within __________ increased, making her quiet gasps turn into shouts of pleasure.
Kokuyou could feel her body tightening, forming a vice grip around him.  He trailed a finger from her hips to her belly button, up between her breasts and across her collarbone, with a feather-light touch even as he conintued his near punishing pace. While the one had was moving up behind her neck, his other hand moved between them where their bodies were joined, to rub little circles around her clit. He was determined to make her find release twice before he found his own.  At least at first - the night was still young.  His pride demanded it after her comment earlier.
Before he knew it,  he had __________ screaming her release, drawing blood from where she had latched onto his arm with her nails. Kokuyou paused for a moment to be sure he wouldn't be following her in her bliss, but he didn't quit his ministrations on her body, doing what he could to keep her orgasm going.
"That's one." He smirked at __________ and, before she could say anything or protest, he flipped her over onto her stomach, pulled her up by her hips so she was on her hands and knees, then re-entered her body and receiving a cry of surprise.
"O-one? One what? Orgasm?  How many are you planning to pull out of me!?"
"You're talking too much.  Seems like I'm not doing my job right, keeping anything but gasps and moans from leaving those sexy lips."
___________ turned to look at him from over her shoulder, lips slightly parted as she panted for breath.  Kokuyou leaned over her to probe those pouty lips with his fingers until she opened fully for him, running her tongue over his digits, tasting herself on his skin.
Kokuyou used the anchor he had of his fingers in her mouth.  He gently tugged back until she was on her knees, her back to his front, his manhood still buried deep inside her.  __________ made a noise of confusion past his fingers, but it soon melted into a heady groan as he began moving once more, hitting spots inside her she didn't know she had. He offered a groan of his own when he felt her wet heat squeeze him.  He leaned in to press his lips to her ear at the same time he placed his free hand on her lower belly with his fingers splayed to cover more space.
"You still affect me the same way you did before. The way you move, the way you talk, how you sound when we're fucking, how you touch me and I, you. If anything, you have an even greater affect on me now than ever before.  I just wanna stay right where I'm at forever, even after both of our bodies collapse from exhaustion." She reached up with one hand to pull his fingers from her mouth.  "You...nng...may get your...aah!...wish, Koku."
From constant stimulation from his movement, even after he made her come once, he could feel her muscles contracting around him again and could feel a vibration wracking her body.  His glutes tensed when she grabbed his ass with her other hand. "Have I brought you close to falling apart again already?" His whispered words against her ear made her shaking intensify, his pistoning hips moving faster, chasing his own climax still with her help.
"What do you think?  Now give it to me harder, Koku.  I won't break."
Kokuyou sighed heavily at her words, feeling them course through him like a drug shot straight into his veins.  He pushed her back down on to the bed, took both sides her hips into his hands again, and proceeded to drill into her at a punishing pace, sweat falling from his temples in rivulets, dripping down his sculpted torso to mix with her arousal on his cock as he moved.
Several choice curse words escaped his lips when her body gripped him tighter and tighter with her impending release.  He could feel his own crawling up his shaft with each second he held back. "I can feel you getting close, you're gripping me so tight.  Making it hard to hold back."
"Then don't hold back."
"Sure..." he panted, brows furrowed in concentration and his long, strong fingers moving to her nub once more to apply pressure to help her reach her end.
All it took was a few passes of his rough finger tips on her sensitive flesh for her to scream her release, soaking him and the sheets beneath her.  Kokuyou waited as long as he could after she climaxed before following her into the oblivion of release, pulling out just before his orgasm exploded from him in thick, white streams over her shapely ass and back.
He slowly leaned over her back and bit on her shoulder gently, affectionately, before collapsing onto his side next to her, pulling __________ in close - her back to his front while they caught their breaths.  When they had calmed, __________ turned over in his arms to wrap one of her own around him.  Kokuyou looked down at her the same time she looked up and they shared a tender kiss.
"That was better than I remember.  You've been practicing?"  Kokuyou wasn't sure how to answer her.  Tell her the truth or shake it off? Distract her with more loving as he'd planned and promised?  She gave him an out before he could decide.  "It's ok, you know.  We weren't together.  I probably would have never remembered you if we hadn't met again."
"Yea, I practiced a bit, but they weren't you, so it wasn't the same." He let silence fall between them before asking what he had wanted to since she walked in the door with Sotetsu. "I have to ask... what happened when you disappeared?"
She cast her gaze down to stare at his collarbone while he maneuvered them around to take her hand not already on him and laced their fingers together.  "I... was grabbed and knocked out in the alley.  I remember fighting my attackers, but ultimately failed. Woke up in a glass box with breathing holes, wearing a hospital gown.  No one spoke to me directly though there were other people around.  I screamed at them to let me go, I screamed for you to find and save me, for someone to release me.  I screamed so much that I lost my voice for a time. That's when they would take me to a room with a surgical table with monitors all around, strap me down and hook me up to those machines.
"Then the whispers started and my memories of anything before that day began to fade as if they never existed.  There were a couple times I almost remembered, but then they would play a song and it'd disappear again.  I don't know how they did it or why,  but I'm not sure I want to know now. What if it makes me forget again?"
Kokuyou pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead.  "Things are different now.  I'll protect you better this time."
__________ nuzzled against his bare chest and sighed contentedly, as if she had been waiting to hear him say that forever.  "I love you, Kokuyou."
His heart gave a heavy thump.  She'd said it when they were younger, but it'd been so long ago, he'd started wondering if it was fabricated by his mind.  Then Koharu's words from the day __________ had disappeared came to him about reminding __________ how he felt. He wouldn't make that mistake again.
"I Lo..."
"Oi! Kokuyou!  Where the hell are ya, big bro?  You ran off without finishin' ya shift!"
Kokuyou grumbled about kids interrupting things under his breath and __________ giggled.  They heard Mizuki pause, obviously listening because he'd heard something.
His hearing was becoming more canine, because from the outside of Kokuyou's bedroom, he shouted, "__________ is with ya? Wacha doin'? Fuckin'?"
Kokuyou shot out of bed and pulled on the pants he'd worn to Starless that day, hurrying to his door before the kid could barge in and see __________ in her state of undress.
"I'm about to beat some manners into him, I swear." He growled, making __________ laugh as he exited his room and coming face to face with the younger man.
Mizuki did his best to try to see past Kokuyou, who was blocking the open door, but Kokuyou gently cuffed him on the side of the head, earning the younger man's ire.
"Wacha do that for!? I was just curious."
"Too curious." Mizuki just glared at him. "Yeah, that's __________.  It's a long story I ain't gonna tell ya right now, so leave it."
"Yeah, yeah," Mizuki rolled his golden eyes and went up on the tips of his toes to call out past Kokuyou's shoulder.  "Sorry __________!"
"It's ok, Mizuki." __________ came up behind Kokuyou wearing one of his shirts, exhibiting no shame in her lack of clothing.
Mizuki blushed slightly when he saw her then looked at Kokuyou for an answer.  "We dated when we were younger and were catching up."
"Catching up while naked?" Kokuyou saw the disbelief on his face and made his hand into a fist again.
"What if it, kid?"
"Koku, be nice.  He was worried when you left the shop suddenly." Mizuki's eyes went wide at her use of the short version of his name.  Kokuyou saw this and glared at Team B's leader.
"Don't go gettin' ideas. Only she gets to call me that."
Mizuki shrugged and looked at __________. "So, did ya 'catch up'?" Mizuki added air quotes to the last words with his fingers.
"That's gonna be a work in progress.  I haven't seen Kokuyou in a few years."
"So ya gonna be 'round for a while?"
"Yup.  That ok?"
Mizuki rolled his eyes again as if that was the dumbest question seh could ask.  "Of course.  Just don't disappear again."
"Can do!" she replied returning the fist bumb he offered her.
Satisfied, Mizuki turned away from the room and went into the small open kitchen, grabbed something in the refridgerator and gave it a sniff for freshness and a soda, then left out the front door.
There were several moments of silence as both Kokuyou and __________ stared at the front door where Mizuki had left out of.
"So.  Think he'll be back sometime before midnight?"
"Possibly.  He's probably hanging out with his team, planning the next event."
"We have the apartment to ourselves again."
"Yup."
"Wanna pick up where we left off?"
"Hell yeah!"
__________ quickly moved behind Kokuyou, reared back her open palm and slapped Kokuyou on his ass before running into the bedroom with cackling laughter.
"Oh you're gonna get it now, woman." Kokuyou smirked as he quickly followed her, both collapsing onto the bed together to pick up where they left off in their goal of making up for the last six years separation.
-------------------------
15 notes · View notes
apricusss · 3 years
Text
gone forever. (bakugou x gn! reader)
Summary: Bakugou discovering that you are the U.A. traitor
Warnings: Extreme angst, anxiety attacks, swearing
Word Count: 981
gone forever.
It was a typical day at UA high school (cliche but deal with it)
Around this time, the current UA first years would be towards the end of their second year.
So far, no one had suspected that there was even a UA traitor in the building
Everyone believed  that it was just a story made up by the media to send Panic throughout Society
That was, until everything stopped when an announcement came over the PA system.
“Attention all UA students and staff. At this moment, the entire building is going into lockdown. It seems a traitor has been identified amongst our student body.  Police have been called to come and apprehend the traitor. Teachers, shut off all the lights, lock your classroom doors, and don't let any of your students leave for any reason. Authorities believe the student to be very dangerous, and have close connections to the League Of Villains. Stay on guard.”
Of course, this sent the classroom into a frenzy 
Kids were freaking out, some were crying, and others were in deep discussions with their friends on who the traitor could possibly be 
Among them were Momo Yaoyorozu, Mina Ashido, (first name) (last name) and Shoto Todoroki 
They were all sitting in a circle, discussing who the possible traitor would be 
Mina was visibly upset, and  Momo was trying to comfort her
in the middle of their discussion, everything was abruptly stopped when  the door to their classroom was kicked in, revealing for officers, and Eraserhead to be standing there
“(first name) (last name).” 
The entire class was silent.
 everyone's eyes were frozen on the teenager, now standing in the back of the classroom 
“Yes, officer?”
There voice became much more sinister, more dark and more evil than anyone had ever heard before
“(first name) (last name), you are under arrest for association with the League of Villains. You have the right to remain silent.”
Without another word, (first name) stepped forward, holding their wrists out to the officer.
 they had the most evil, diabolical smile on their face
Todoroki, Yaoyorozu and Ashido all stared in horror as they watched the classmate, the friend they once knew and loved being led away in handcuffs.
Yaoyorozu started crying, Mina begging and pleading with (name) not to go
“No…. no no no no no! (name)! Wait! You’re kidding right? Please tell me this is a joke! You’re not actually a traitor!”
“Ashido,” Her teacher said sternly. “Calm down.”
“They were our friend! They loved us! They would never do this to us! (NAME), COME BACK, PLEASE!”
*Time skip to after classes ended, everyone was sent back to their dorms
Katsuki Bakugou was laying on his bed in his dorms, eyes glued to the ceiling as if he were deep in thought
When I find out who that damn traitor was, Bakugou thought to himself, I'll kill them.
Suddenly, his phone rang, it was a call from Mina
He also saw that she had texted him a couple times, and she seemed rather upset
He decided to answer her call, figuring she wouldn’t leave him alone unless he answered
He sighed, rolling his eyes and answered the phone
She sounded like she was hysterically sobbing, Bakugou couldn’t make out anything she was saying to him
“Whaddya want, Raccoon Eyes?”
“(Name) was arrested!”
Upon hearing these words, Bakugou felt like his heart dropped into his stomach
His hands began to tremble and he felt like he couldn’t breathe
This had to be some kind of sick joke
There was no way his s/o was the traitor.
“If you’re fucking with me right now, I swear to god I will blast you all the way to hell.”
“I’m not kidding! They were arrested during class today! Ask Todoroki, or Yaoyorozu! They’re gone, Bakugou. They're....”
Mina once again began uncontrollably sobbing. bakugou assumed she dropped her phone because she was crying so much
Without another word,  Bakugou hangs up the phone and storms out of his dorm room.
He ran all the way up the flight of stairs to (Name)’s room, shoving past anyone who got in his way
When he finally got to their room, he almost lost his balance 
There were two officers standing outside of (name)’s dorm room, and the door had been boarded up.
“What the hell,” he gritted through bare teeth
Like an automation, Bakugou ran and pushed past the two officers and tore the boards off of (Name)’s door with his bare hands
One of the officers attempted to hold Bakugou back
“Sir, you can’t go in there-”
“SHUT UP! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THEIR ROOM?!” Bakugou shouted as he wriggled from the officer’s grasp, tearing off the last board
He used his quirk to blast the door open, praying to god that his (name) was in there, safe and sound
However, when the smoke had cleared, Bakugou had found nothing but an empty room, void of all of (name)’s furniture.
 no pictures on the walls, no bed nothing
 it was like they were never there.
It seemed the reality had started to set in for Bakugou Katsuki 
The big, bad Lord Explosion murder had collapsed onto the floor in tears.
He was hyperventilating, tears streaming down his face
Every time he tried to suck in a breath, his body prevented it
For the first time, in a long time, Bakugou felt like he was losing his mind
What was he supposed to do now that they were gone?
They were the one who was always on his mind, the one person he trusted more than anyone else, the one person he would truly put his life out on the line for.
All of it was gone
His entire world had crashed and burned, knowing that his (Name) would never be coming back to him
26 notes · View notes
malkumtend · 4 years
Text
(Their) Booth. Human Warriors AU.
“This is my booth.”
Crow does not consider that the voice is directed in him, therefore he continues to scroll through his phone.
“Hey.” The voice raises and Crow hears the hint of annoyance. “I said this is my booth.”
His own mood souring, Crow turns and returns the narrowed eyes the girl gives him. She stands with her arms crossed, green eyes flashing, her look is so thundering that it may have looked intimidating, if it wasn’t clear that she was half a foot shorter than him.              
And he was only 5,7.
“What?” He tries to push her away with the growl on his tone.
“You’re in my booth.” She says it again, her frown sharpens.
“Your booth?”
“My booth.”
“Is your name on it?”
Her annoyed glare darkens. “Is yours?”
Crow already decides he hates this girl. Whoever she is. She seems familiar somehow (it would be hard to picture not remembering the dark ginger curls or the peach coloured skin or the dotting specks of freckles) but Crowpaw doesn’t care to find the time to remember.
He takes a sip of his milkshake, clicking his tongue as the tang of mint lingers. “I’m not the one claiming a seat is mine.”
“Well I am, so will you move?”
“Find somewhere else.” He tries to cut it off, turning back to his phone. He knows that she won’t; this break hour is near lunch which means that every table is full and bursting with laughter or chatter.
Still it’s a slightly more polite way of telling her to piss off.
She doesn’t budge. An eyebrow raises. “Why don’t you?” In the crook of her arm rests her own milkshake, her fingers drum on the cup impatiently.
“I’m already here.” There’s no way he would even consider moving, even if she was a friend rather than a nuisance of a stranger. It’s still half an hour before his next class, and without his friends out of their own periods, he’ll be damned if he’s walking out alone for that long.
Her green eyes dart over the booth, “Are you waiting on people?”
His eyes burn as she smirks. “None of your business.”
“You’re taking up a six-person booth, you seat hog.”
He leans back on the chair, his jacket squeaks against the leather seat. “I don’t hear anyone else complaining.” He ignores when she lazily uses her hand to gesture over herself. “Whatever.”
“Are you going to move or not?”
“Are you going to make me?” The silence makes him think he’s beaten her. A split second later, she’s across from him on the other side of the booth. Her feet tuck over the seat, letting her back slip against the wall as she pulls out her phone, scrolling as she uses her other hand to let a straw link her treat to her lips.
Crowpaw stares as she expertly ignores him. “What are you doing?”
Her lips smack as the straw leaves her lips, “Drinking a milkshake. Can I have some privacy?”
“You’re at my table.” He falls into the trap and cringes when she says it, smirking with a grin full of sugary, sickly sweetness.
“I don’t see your name on it.” She coos, “Now a little quiet please, I am letting you share my booth after all.”
Crow felt like he wanted to stand up and start screaming, but they were in the middle of a busy milkshake place, and he would more than likely be thrown out, and this time was the only peace he got to himself. So he glowers, sucking in milk and sugar through the bitten crease of his straw and tries to block out her face with the screen of his phone.
Same time the next week, he sits in that booth. It takes ten minutes for her to arrive. She doesn’t even speak before she sits down on the other (her?) side of the booth.
He figures they’ll stay silent like last time, so he just frowns and tries to focus on his drink.
Then she grins again, “Thanks for saving my spot.”
His hand grasps the cup so much a shot of vanilla goes right down his throat. After stifling his cough, he growls. “Haven’t you got any friends to hang with?”
She shrugs and pulls up a bright, sunny yellow backpack adorned with badges of flags. “Got class this period.”
He could say ‘likely story’ but he knows she’ll just throw it back at him. So, he just grumbles a complaint and fails to ignore when she pulls out a notebook and a textbook, something to do with film studies. She opens to a task page and starts writing in her notes.
She notices him looking, “It’s not at the last minute, for your information. It’s for tomorrow.”
He blinks. “I wasn’t going to ask.”
She doesn’t look up. “We both know you were.”
“I wasn’t.”
“Sure.” As she writes, her ginger curls fall over her eyes, blocking their gazes from meeting, ending the conversation. It suits Crow just fine, as he relishes the silence. It means he can tolerate the intruder (was she an intruder it wasn’t his seat either) enough to not feel a vein throb.
Then after filling a page, she speaks again. “Should you really be drinking that?”
Crow’s face twists, “What?”
Still not looking up, she points her pen perfectly at his vanilla bean iceblast, “That? You’re on the track team, right?”
His brow hardens and he sets the drink down. He tries to remember this girl again. “How do you know that?”
The pen flicks towards the gym bag beside him. “Well there’s that, and I don’t think you have the… build for the football team.”
Crow suddenly regrets wearing the thermal top today. He crosses his arms over his lean, but extremely un-muscled, body.
“That’s going to take a two-mile run to burn off, right?”
He scoffs, “You make that sound like it’s a big deal. Not much of a runner, are you?”
She lifts her head to frown at him, “Careful, you’re Miss Ashfoot’s kid, aren’t you? I don’t think she’d like to know what calories your poisoning your body with.” She almost sounds like her, wagging a mocking finger at him with her artificial authority.
She isn’t wrong though. His mother would freak out.
Crow scoffs, putting down his phone, “As long as I burn it off, it doesn’t matter. Besides, I’d still run rings round someone like you any day.”
“Oh, is that right?” The girl says furtively, “You wanna take this outside, then?”
Crow laughs, it’s full of mocking spite, but it’s a laugh. “I think I’ll save you the embarrassment.” He wasn’t going to waste his break over some fight or race he knew he’d win.
She leans back, her chin rising up, her eyes shine a gratified emerald. “Good excuse.” Crow wipes off the trap like dirt off his shoulder. His eyes drag down to her textbooks.
“A film student then?” He might have guessed. Those lot were known for being an extravagant type.
She pouts, placing a hand over her book like they’re in middle-school. “You’re nosy, aren’t you?”
“You seem like the kind of girl who’d be absorbed in a camera?”
She hasn’t taken off her dark green winter jacket, the beige faux fur on the hood surrounds her neck like a lion’s mane. It’s like she’s dressed like she wants everyone to look at her.
She laughs off his comment, sneering. “Says the weedy kid, on his own, dressed only in black.”
Fucking A! This girl was quick!
“And you’re wrong, I’m mostly behind the camera.” She says pridefully, her pen taps on the table with a show of reverence. “I’m part of the directing team.”
“What? The staff intern?”
“Ha ha, weedy. We’re in the middle of a major project.” She looks over her notes again, beaming. “It’s going to be awesome!”
He feigns ignorance with a small huff, but a part of him is interested. Everyone likes movies. Even the shitty ones could be a good laugh.
She writes another set of notes down, then looks up again. “So you’re Crow, right?” Her grin skulks over him. “Like the bird.”
He rolls his eyes, a lifetime of childhood taunts rolling in his memory. It doesn’t bother him so much, but it still makes him groan. “Mhmm.”
Her arm moves and Crow expects the offer of a handshake. Instead he’s met with a not-so-light punch on the arm. She whips the locks out of her eyes as he rubs his arm. “Squirrel.” She says.
“Oh, like the bushy tailed rat?” He says instead of ‘like the daughter of Fireheart, head of the Thunder department’ because he does not want her to feel like she’s special.
Regretfully, it seems she likes his answer more. “You can’t talk, bird boy.” Her laugh is real.
He easily wins the track meet, he always does. His heart doesn’t start pacing until the fourth lap, and by the time he’s finished the tenth, the rest are only on the eighth.
“Good work, Crow.” His mother says, permitting him to sit down on the bleachers. “Keep it up.” She pipes on her whistle, waiting for the others.
He drinks his water and rubs the sweat out of his eyes. He checks the stopwatch attached to his hip and purses his lips when he sees he’s twenty seconds off his last run. Oh well, he considers, he’s still at the top. It keeps his mother happy. (keeps him happy) He shakes his head.
He gazes up into the bleachers and smiles when he sees Feather is there. She’s part of the swimming team and they met because of a sports team gathering last term. She’d come up to him and told him he’d left his water bottle in the gym.
After that Crow was pulled into her smile. It’s a smile he always responds too.
Until he sees who’s next to her, waving, still keeping that stupid grin of hers.
After greeting Feather, he sits down and hisses into her ear. “Are you following me?”
“In your dreams, bird-brain. Feather’s my Math tutor, she wanted to come and see you before we head into Highstone Steet to go to ‘Milkshakes 4 You’ before we head to hers to study.”
Crow forgot that Feather mentioned how she tutored some students. “Have you two met?” She asks, her eyes glittering on the two.
Crow grumbles, “Unfortunately.”
“Oh, don’t be like that.” Squirrel pipes, gleaming Feather with a smile, “Me and him are milkshake pals.”
“We are not!”
“Oh, that’s great!” Feather’s always pleasant and friendly voice rings out, “Should we all head there together?”
Crow sees Squirrel’s fluttering eyelashes that prick him to shout a denial. But Feather’s friendly radiance forces him to say yes.
At the milkshake table (their table) Feather and Squirrel get on really well. Throughout their studying, they laugh and talk and it’s clear this is not just going to be a study meet. They’re friends.
Crow sighs because he can tell this is going to happen again.
After another half hour, they giver their goodbyes (a sweet wave from the actual girl, while the red-haired rat gives him a back-handed flick of the wrist). He’s not sure if it’s her cockiness that pisses him off, or if it’s the fact she’s the one going to Feather’s house instead of him.
They’re sharing a lunch table at school now.
Feather has her brother, Storm, with her (Crow doesn’t care about him too much but he’s alright enough) and Squirrel’s brought her sister along (she doesn’t say much but she can tell Crow recognises her, everyone knows about the straight A student since Firestar wouldn’t shut up about how she was one of the few who got perfect marks in her mock tests). Her name’s Leaf and she keeps her eyes behind the fringe of her cut short hair. It’s clear she’s only there because her sister dragged her along.
Squirrel does most of the talking for the table, which annoys Crow since she always offers her own opinion whenever he tries to ask Feather something. He doesn’t dare tell her to button it though. He would not turn into the delinquent that Squirrel likes to believe he is.
So, he keeps quiet and watches the group react to this girl.
It’s clear from Storm’s face that he thinks well of the ginger nuisance. Crow tries to hold back his vomit.
He also learns more about this girl than he cares to.
Her favourite class – Film.
Her favourite teacher – Mr Dustpelt.
Her favourite movie – The Breakfast Club (she stops to claim that Crow would make a good Bender. Crow’s never seen it, but the fact the group are laughing makes him scowl at her.)
Her favourite film studio – Disney (would have guessed)
Her favourite film movement – German expressionism (what the fuck is that)
She pulls her sister into the conversation, despite her obvious hesitance, but that only spurs Feather on. Calm, lulling and welcoming as always. It doesn’t take long before the shy girl has settled into some kind of comfort and safety as she actually begins asking the others’ questions.
“I’ve seen you on the field before! How do you do that without passing out?”
Crow feigns indifference but admittedly it’s always nice to be recognised. “Just practice and practice. It’s just like studying really.” He knows she’ll get that.
She does, letting out a small laugh. “Oh, well I could never do something like that.”
“Well that’s because you’re good at healthcare,” Squirrel nudges her, coyly smirking at Crow, “Something meaningful.”
“And just how meaningful are your little films.” Crow doesn’t hold himself back now, but he doesn’t scowl as the others share a cautious glance. Perhaps mercifully, Squirrel just flicks her ginger hair back with another throaty laugh.
“Don’t be an idiot. Everyone enjoys movies, we all have one that means something to us! Even little kids binge watching Disney films, those princesses and frogs will always be in their memories.”
Crow raises a brow, “So what are you making then?”
She wags a finger at him, “Ah ah, that’s classified.”
Leaf gives him another gentle shrug, “It’s true. She won’t even tell me what’s it’s about?”
“But if you’re interested, they’ll be airing at the end of term at the culture festival.” Crow vaguely recalls the festival where every class portrayed some kind of reflection piece, he also recalled staying far the hell away from any sign-up sheet. He wasn’t competing in some damn triathlon.
“Oh!” Feather bursts up, “That’s so cool! Could we come see it!”
Oh no no no no no!
“Of course!” Squirrel pulls out her phone and emails what Crow can only assume is an invitation. “It’s $5 for entry. But I’d say that’s not so bad!” The invitation is confirmed when his own phone beeps and he sees that Feather has forwarded it to him as well.
“I’ll be there!” Feather pipes, Storm soon follows suit. All eyes turn to Crow, Feather’s excited, Storm’s expectant, Leaf’s sheepish and Squirrel’s smug. So very smug.
He realises that if he turns this down, he’ll turn into this ginger haired director’s antagonist. For a moment he wonders if he can feign sickness on the night, but it’s a night four months away, and it will be oh so obvious what he’s avoiding.
So, he nods. And gives her this round.
A month later, their group has become normal. Feather’s still a complete angel, Storm seems to have realised how Crow sees his sister (if the stone cold eyes weren’t telling), Leaf’s a little more hard to get out due to her consistent studying phases but when she turns up she’s fine enough (she keeps to herself and is oddly polite whenever she speaks to him), and Squirrel is now a little less of a constant grievance.
Crow presumes it’s like one of those dark films where a person has been kept in a constant state of torture long enough that it seems almost calm now. What kind of torture punishment would she be? Crow’s stuck between waterboarding and being stuck in a basement for a month with the same terrible song on repeat.
They’re now waiting for her film class to finish so they can head to Highstones for a bite to eat (yeah waiting to be annoyed, that was what his life had come to). But he couldn’t argue. They all waited when Feather was caught up in Swimming practice and they all waited when he was running behind in the track meets.
They all had to deal with each other now.
He can hear her barking orders in some kind of movie nerd language he didn’t really get. It didn’t seem like some mindless drivel; she clearly had some idea of what she was talking about. But he still felt pity for the poor actors she was leading, lord know he wouldn’t be able to handle getting shouted at by the likes of her.
Eventually it ends though, and the director and her team exit the doors, red-faced, but shivering with excited, well-done, glee.
“Great work guys!” She yells after her waving friends; Crow recognises none of them. She points out to one short boy with curled brown hair. “Remember to work on your stunt moves, Shrew!” She hits her fist against her palm with spicy exaggeration, “We want real action, not Pinocchio caught in his strings!”
The boy presses his palms against his cheeks in mock shock. A real actor, Crow can tell. “Ouch! That hurts, ginger!” He rolls his eyes as he turns away, “I’ll knock you off your feet, next time.”
“That’s what I’m counting on!” She laughs for a moment, then finally turns to the waiting group. “Sorry to keep you guys waiting.”
“It wasn’t that long.” Stormfur says, a little too smoothly to be natural. Crow, disgusted, meets Feather’s eyes, she shrugs with a gentle chuckle.
“Are we heading over to Highstones then?” Leaf asks.
Squirrel nods her approval, but her eyes dart around the corridor for a moment, as if searching. It’s only for a moment, but when she smiles back to the group, Crow notices a slant along the natural perk of her shoulders. She hides it well.
Crow isn’t sure why he’s noticed it.
He isn’t sure why he can see her face tilt back and forth as they all walk from school to the high street. Still scanning for something unknown. Her smile stiffens and trembles as they begin to reach their destination.
Crow considers saying something, but he knows how well that would go down. Besides, it wasn’t his business. It wasn’t his concern.
By the time they’re at their table, her eyes aren’t smiling anymore. Crow can see a vague disappointment.
He says nothing about it.
But he does pay closer attention to her. Especially when she doesn’t have the energy to make quips at his expense today.
Crow wonders if he’s worried. Then brushes away the thought like dirt.
It’s next week when Crow sees Squirrel get angry for the first time.
It is approaching the end of the lunch period, and the four are leaving their newly established table when Squirrel’s head perks up.
Approaching them is a boy. A tank of a boy at that. If this guy wasn’t part of the football team, Crow was sure that the teachers were begging him to join. A golden ‘T’ badge is clipped to his bag. Clearly this guy was well thought of in the Thunder department.
He must stand a good foot over Squirrel, but he smiles at her, not really looking down. “Hey.”
Squirrel straightens her posture, her eyes half closing, “Oh, hey Bramble. How’s everything?”
“Can’t complain. Your dad’s giving me ear-ache though.”
“Heh. That’s a surprise.”
“Yeah. So, he wanted me to ask you when you’ll be home? I’ve got a meeting with him about the sports faculty later so I just thought I could tell him then.”
He doesn’t sound patronising, but Squirrel still coils back in offence. Her hair sways as she groans to the side. “Ugh! What? Does he not want me studying?”
Bramble raises a brow, “I’m pretty sure that’s what he’s worried about.”
“Um, excuse me.” A polite but firm voice steps in. All eyes turn to Feather. “Hi, I’m Feather. I’m the one who’s tutoring Squirrel for math, and you can tell Firestar that she really is working hard!”
Bramble’s eyes widen, and Crow can see the surprise. His gape stands while he marinates on his words. “Oh, really? Um, sure. I’ll let him know.”
“You don’t need to let him know.” Squirrel says under her breath, her emerald orbs losing the shine they’d had before. “I’m working on it, I just have other things to work on as well.”
As if snapping his fingers, Bramble’s chestnut hair whips up with realisation that makes Squirrel’s face fall. “Oh right, the film thing!” He clearly doesn’t catch when Squirrel winces. “How’s that going for you?”
Squirrel takes a breath that is too fragile to lay her exasperation. “Well-”
“Bramble!” A sharp voice cuts in. Another tank of a lad comes over. Not as warm as his predecessor. He stands taller than Bramble, more defined and muscled as well. His hair is the same colour, but it looks darker above the icy blue of his eyes. He looks over the group absently, it only takes that brief second for Squirrel to blast him with a look gleaming with hate, before he truly fixes his attention on Bramble. “Are we heading out? We’ve got to train for tonight, remember?”
Bramble’s lips thin, but he nods. “Yeah, I know Hawk. I’m coming.”
‘Hawk’ doesn’t move away, he stands there, dull impatience creasing his lips into a frown.
He might have looked bad if it weren’t for the storm taking place on Squirrel’s face.
Bramble turns, offering the group a generous apologetic smile. “Sorry, I’ve got to get going.”
“So, he said.” Storm chimes in, trying to lift the chill that has clearly overcome them all.
Only Bramble and Feather laugh, both equally weak.
“Yeah. I’ll see you later though. Oh, and I’ll make sure to let your father know to expect you late.” Bramble says that over the shoulder gripped by his mysterious accomplice.
Squirrel flushes with a spark of frustration and anger but once again, the ice thin polite voice of Bramble beats her voice. But he isn’t talking to her.
“Oh yeah! Leaf! Congratulations on getting first in the state Healthcare exams!” He chirps, casting her a swift thumbs up.
Leaf’s eyes widen, and her eyes slide from side to side nervously. It’s like it wasn’t a compliment she received, rather an arrest warrant. “Oh, uh, thank you.” Crow has heard her enough to know when she sounds genuine rather than hollow.
Then he follows where her hopeless look lands. And it becomes clearer.
“It’s all that keeps Firestar in a good mood these days!” Bramble chuckles, “So, thanks for making my life a little easier.”
“You’re welcome.” Leaf nods her head in a way that should share a joke, but her tight voice is almost a plead for him to go away.
Now Feather notices it as well, placing a gentle hand on the shaking shoulder.
The brown-haired boy is finally pulled out of the cafeteria by his growling friend. In his wake, a group of friends are left, all anxiously glancing at their tight-fisted, clenched-jawed, unmistakably gutted friend.
“Squirrel.” Leaf starts gently, her tone carrying something the others cannot peg.
Her sister brushes a stray ginger lock out of her eye and starts forward. “Let’s just go.” She doesn’t wait for another word of concern. She doesn’t even say anything until they reach the milkshake bar.
Well, more she doesn’t start yelling until they’re there.
“Piece of shit!” Squirrel bursts, chewing on the end of her straw. Her emerald eyes are now balls of green fire. She would more than definitely be making a scene if the place wasn’t at full capacity. “That pompous, know-it-all meathead!”
Crow’s sure that’s an oxymoron but he keeps his mouth shut for concerns of having his head snapped off.
“’Am I studying?’ The freakin’ nerve of that idiot! How’s it his business?”
“He was just asking for Dad.” Leaf says carefully, she’s been trying to calm her sister down since they got there. It hasn’t worked.
“Then he needs to mind his business as well!”
“He’s just worried.”
Squirrel’s eyes narrow into viper like slits, “He doesn’t need to be. I’m doing fine.” She leans onto a palm, her head sinking into her hood.
There’s something troubled on Leaf’s face as she turns away slightly. It’s clear to Crow that there may be a reason that Firestar is worried about his loudmouth daughter. But the dark-haired girl is smart enough to not say anything.
Crow sits there, half-lidded, pretending not to listen, and inwardly groaning every time Storm tries to bark some sugary compliments to the angry girl across from them. It does give him some mild pleasure to see the disappointment on his face when he realises that Squirrel clearly isn’t listening to him.
Still, it was aggravating to see the girl so damn moody. Crow wasn’t so sure why, but seeing her so clearly pissed made him pissed as well, the kind that makes your stomach shift and your breathing heavy.
Luckily, he’s able to get away from that when Feather returns from her assumed break to the toilet carrying back three milkshakes. She slaps them down in front of him and Storm, before sliding into the seat beside him, beaming.
Crow’s cheeks cruelly heat up. “Oh, come on, you didn’t have to-”
“It’s fine!” She pipes, gesturing to the drink before him. “You have to try this! It’s new here and I think it’s one of the best things I’ve tasted in freakin’ years!” Her eyes sparkle and her silver hair swirls in the excited movements of her head.
He sucks on the straw and a deep twist of caramel and honeycomb exploded on his tongue, coating him with a sweetness that could only be equal to Feather. It might be too sharp for his taste personally, but he smiles at her, relishing the fireworks that go off in her eyes.
“Told you so!” She exclaims.
“It’s a little too sweet for me.” Storm says. Off of Feather’s look, he quickly adds, “But it’s still really good!”
“I’m sorry I didn’t get you guys one.” Feather said, shyly looking to the two sisters across the table. “But you guys had already got yours so-”
“Oh no, it’s fine!” Leaf sooths. Squirrel only makes a passive murmur as she scans a page of crudely drawn diagrams.
“Thanks Feather,” Crow blurts out. The words feel like a tongue twister to Crow, embarrassment and hesitant glee melting in his mouth.
Her blue eyes light up again, and her hand pats a spot on his shoulder that instantly tingles. “No need. Next time it’s on you though.”
Crow manages to let out a laugh. It was easy when he was entranced in her happiness.
It’s two weeks later, and Squirrel isn’t at the lunch table.
“She’s filming with her group today.” Leaf says. Crow wants to take this moment to relish for the opportunity at a little silence, but Feather looks worried.
“Is she okay?”
“I think she is. Why?” It seems that Leaf does know why but doesn’t want to be a bad sister who spills secrets. It might have worked, but she was a terrible liar.
“Whenever she studies with me now, she looks stressed.”
“Isn’t stress another word for studying.” Crow jokes. He hopes to get a smile from Feather, but her worry keeps her mouth turned down.
“Well, how is she doing study-wise, anyway?” Storm asks.
“She’s definitely improving.” Feather considers, delicate fingers rubbing her neck. “But she was doing well enough before, in my opinion, and she wasn’t so…” She sighs. “I don’t know, I just thought that something might be bothering her.”
Crow’s frown tightens, he hates seeing Feather worried. He sighs, long and tight, “Maybe she’s just worked up about her film? She never tells us how it’s going. Maybe she’s behind schedule on something.” He’s grasping at straws but he’s trying his best.
Storm murmurs a sound of agreement but neither Feather nor Leaf give him a reaction that says they’re reassured.
“Maybe.” Feather twirls a silver lock in her hand.
“You don’t need to worry about it, sis.” Storm remarks, offering her one of the fries on his plate. “You’ve said she’s doing fine; she’s probably just worried about getting the grades. Like all of us!” He laughs. “It can’t be easy studying when you’ve got a department head at home breathing down your neck.”
Leaf quivers in her seat, the salad leaf on her fork trembles off and falls to the floor.
Everyone notices and now not even Storm is smiling.
“Leaf?” Feather probes gently.
The girl looks up, then down, then up again and swallows hard. “For the love of God, please don’t ever say anything like that to her.” She sounds as dry as sandpaper.
Storm’s jaw loosens then shuts with a clip. Nobody says anything about it, as if mentioning it further would call forth bloody Mapleshade herself.
But the thought is there in Crow’s head, remaining like a scorpion in his skull. Not because he truly understands what the issue is, he is not psychic. But-
It can’t be easy studying when you’ve got a department head at home breathing down your neck.
He wishes he didn’t, but he gets that.
In more ways than the others could understand. Certainly more than he would ever tell them.
He feels sick now. He actually sympathises for that ginger brat.
Crow is surprised when he finds her studying at their table the next day. Studying Math to say the least? It’s early in the break and the others will be on their way soon. For now though, it’s just him and the girl biting the end of her pencil with a scowl.
“Having trouble?” He smirks, sitting across from her.
“Piss off.” She growls but doesn’t look up. Her freckles look like small stains underneath the shadow of her fringe. Another frustrated groan leaves her lips as she scribbles out what looks like an angle diagram on her sheet.
Crow obliges her mood and pulls out his phone. After a series of three more grunts and four rips of paper being ruthlessly scratched, he gives in. He already knows he’ll regret it.
“If you don’t get it, just wait for Feather to get here.”
Her green meets his blue, her irises twitch like hungry fangs. “I’m just fine on my own, thank you.” She finishes poisonously, dimming back into her work while obviously trying to avoid his gaze.
Crow looks away, “Whatever, just don’t ask me for a sharpener when you’ve killed that pencil.”
Her hand makes an exaggerated line on the page, “I’ve got my own. I need it to be nice and sharp when I stick it in your eye.”
Unconsciously and conceitedly, he snickers. “If only your Math was as good as your comebacks.”
Now she is really glaring at him like she wants his head to erupt into flames. The hand gripping the pencil turns white and Crow actually wonders if she is straining from jabbing the instrument into his retina.
Instead, she hisses through clenched teeth and bores down to her scribbles of failed solutions.
This round goes Crow’s way.
There’s a twitch to her lips that makes him wish it hadn’t.
To hide his awkwardness, Crow makes sure his focus is on his phone before he speaks. “I don’t get why you’re so worried. Feather told us all you were doing just fine. It just looks like you’re worrying over nothing.”
He means to be (somewhat) nice, but Squirrel only shakes her head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Hey, I wasn’t the one who said it. What’s the problem, she said you were doing good? Newsflash.” His hands stretch out dramatically, “That’s a good thing.”
She’s clearly multi-tasking with ignoring him and realising she doesn’t know what the hell she’s doing. Her free hand digs into her head, strands of soft hair fleeting through the cracks. “It’s not good enough for me!” She hisses.
“Why? Did you get an F in your last exam or something?” He teases, though part of him braces for the possibility that that was the truth.
It wasn’t. “B-”
Crow’s mouth hung partway open while he blinked slowly a few times. “So, what the heck are you worked up over?” A B-? Crow used to get a trip to Purd E Cheese when that happened to him!
The pencil is dropped and lies still as she directs a stony gaze at him. There is no trace of animosity or bite, just plain out exhaustion. A dull emerald bore into him. “Different house, different expectations. I’d be happy getting a second in one of your little track meets.” She leans forward, a finger tap-tapping on the notes below her. “Would you?”
Damn. That makes Crow’s mouth feel like it’s full of glue.
He keeps quiet as he imagines the idea of not coming first in track. The shadows that would appear before him.
Point made, she slinks back, and they don’t talk. Either embarrassment or anger keeps them in this icy space. She still audibly struggles with the work, looking more and more drained by the minute.
Finally, she sets the notes down with a defeated grimace. “I’m getting a drink.” She says tonelessly, hands hidden in the deep pockets of her coat.
Crow doesn’t move, but his eyes fall on the abandoned notes, or scribbles, or whatever they were and were not meant to be.
He considers. Glancing back at the worthless news feed on his phone, then at the girl sulking in the line to the bar.
The shadow comes back to his mind. And then he sighs and relents.
She understandably isn’t happy when she finds him on her side of the table, scanning through the notes she was actually embarrassed about. She’s on the cusp of snatching her humiliation away from him when he says in a stoic voice. “You’re using the wrong formulae.”
She glowers, but she doesn’t argue. “What?”
He taps the page, “You’re using the theorem for binomial series here, you should be using the arithmetic series.” Off of her clueless expression, his brow raises. “Have you gone through this with Feather yet?” He doesn’t imagine she’d make that kind of mistake.
Squirrel blushes. She actually blushes, and it’s clear this was unknown territory for her. Crow stifles a chuckle while she crosses her arms and turns away. “I don’t remember any of that.”
By God, being nice to this girl could be a chore. Crow exhaled, “Come on, I’ll show you.”
“I don’t need your help.” She bites, still not looking at him.
Crow’s about to lash, but he bites his tongue, considering his words. “I’m not helping you. I’m just studying for myself.”
She gives him a half-lidded, uninspired glance. “Of course.”
“Just shut up and sit down.”
She doesn’t shut up, her mouth is full of questions (which he guesses is fair enough, least she’s actually trying) but she does sit down next to him and listen as he goes over the formulae. To be very fair, she’s a quick study and once she knows the right theorem it takes her half a minute to get the question done.
When they’re done and Crow rises to go back at his own seat, he winces as his arm feels her fist again. He’s about to snap when she looks up, and Crow has enough reasonable certainty to see the lightness in her eyes. Her smile is about as slippery as an eel, but it’s a smile nonetheless.
She wouldn’t be smiling if she was mad. He knew that much about her.
A punch was a strange, annoying way to thank someone. But he supposed that fit her rather well.
When the others finally arrive, they’re too focused on returning to their original seats, shouting that it wasn’t what it looked like, that they don’t notice the brief sadness coating the eyes of Feather and Storm.
It’s next week when the siblings finally tell their friends.
Squirrel, unsure, like the rest of them, of what to say, keeps her voice whispered. “What do you mean you’re running away?” She leans across the table so they can hear her over the din of the bar’s patrons.
Feather and Storm sit side by side, both equally unhappy, looking down at nothing but a stained and chipped table. “It means what it means.” Storm says, breaking off a piece of his chocolate bar. He nibbles on the ridge.
Crow feels like he cannot move, his mind thumps and crashes like it’s being pummelled by a heavyweight boxer, but he barely manages to speak. “Why?”
Feather holds her head up with a hand, tired, but encompassing all the strength she has left. “Our parents decided on the divorce terms.”
Crow tenses, he remembers hearing how shaky things were at their home. They used to make jokes out of how they couldn’t get sleep because of their parents screaming. Neither had looked perturbed, so he hadn’t thought much of it.
“Joint custody?” Leaf anticipates wearily.
Storm shakes his head, “We fucking wish. Our mom wants Feather to move out with her at the end of term, I’m meant to stay here with my dad.” His fist clenches, “No way that’s happening.”
Crow looks from him to his sister, they’ve both clearly made up their minds. They would not be separated.
He wants to admire them, but he can’t help how his chest stings.
“So what will you do then?” Squirrel asks.
“We have some family that live down in River County, once the term ends, we’re heading down there.” Feather’s voice shakes as she explains. It must have been a plan they perfected over the week but saying it out loud is a completely different ballpark.
“That’s just two months away.” Squirrel muses out loud, for once her voice doesn’t carry any kind of bite. Her eyes widen like a puppy being abandoned by its family.
“Our folks down there need to prepare for us arriving.” Storm sniffs, he gives his sister a small sideways look. “Plus, we need to decide what to take with us.”
It really was a plan they had thought hard about.
Two months to plan.
Two months until Crow would never see Feather and her glowing smile again.
He feels like he knows he should say something. Just a small wish of good luck, a nod of acceptance, and buried deep he knows he should reveal what he’s always wanted to say to Feather.
But what did that matter? She’d be gone soon.
There was no point at all.
So while Squirrel and Leaf speak about how much they’ll miss them, and while Feather and Storm apologise and thank them for understanding, Crow continues to stare and stay silent, making a case to look away from those tender eyes so desperately trying to reach his.
If he was going to lose them soon, why should he even try?
For the next two weeks, he spends most of his time on the track, practicing. Preparing for the final track meet before summer.
His mother is pleased, but obviously perplexed. Her son was just naturally gifted when it came to the field, he never trained more than every three days usually, now he was there most days from five till nine, just running again and again. Lap after lap. She makes sure to tell him to not overwork himself, but it doesn’t look like he’s listening. Even when she gives him the death stare that usually sent him to bed without a second thought, as a child, he just turns his head, drinks some water and gets back to the track.
She doesn’t know what it’s about.
She doesn’t know what’s he running from.
He runs until he can feel his muscles sting and his head goes blurry, that way he goes home focused on something else. He can’t focus on them. No point gripping to something that would soon let you fall.
He saw them appear once. Looking for him. No doubt wanting to question him about why he’s never at their table, at school and the bar, anymore. Storm looked pissed for reasons Crow didn’t care to know, Leaf was holding back a furious eyed Squirrel from storming up to him and screaming in his face, and Feather just looked sad.
Incredibly, shamefully sad.
He knows to turn back to the track again when he wants to go over and hug her.
So once again, he’s running, hiding and forcing them out. Reluctantly, one by one, they seem to get the hint, walking away from the field. Crow couldn’t help but watch to see if any of them looked back.
Only one person did.
Her green eyes were in a tight scowl, rigid with scorn. They lock on Crow’s sweating, pounding face for a moment. Then she shakes her head, slowly, at him, and leaves him there.
They don’t return for the next week. Crow is left running, burning, and aching on his own.
So, there’s nobody there when one day on the track, the muscles in his blazing ankle finally give in on him. It happens within the intake of a breath. For a suspended second, his foot hovers above the air, then hits the ground and fire chokes his tendon. He falls like a fat sack of flour, too amazed by the overwhelming pain to even utter a whimper. He tries to stand but falls on one knee with every attempt. He has to crawl to his bag to get his phone and call his mother to rush over from her office. Nobody else is there.
There are no tears running down his face, no sobs or moans creasing his throat, as he limps with one arm on his mother’s shoulder he just feels a deep, pulsing emptiness, a drainage in his gut that he feels could swallow him whole and he wouldn’t even complain.
It’s just a strained tendon, is what Dr Bark says; just two months taking it easy off the right foot; just one track meet, the final one, that Crow will have to miss.
Dr Bark actually had some relief to his voice when he explained it. Apparently, Crow is lucky that it’s not as bad as it could have been. You could have ruptured the tendon. Then you’d really be in trouble.
Crow does not feel lucky.
He is not glad that his time sitting on the bleachers, watching his teammates actually able to compete for once, will last just a little less than it could have.
He was still on the side-lines. His right ankle wrapped in a flurry of bandages that throttled his skin like a thick mess of barbed wire. He doesn’t need a crutch, but the weight of the bandages, as well as the thin cast stiffening his foot, makes him limp.
He knows, every time he passes a face, where the eyes will fall.
All pathetic pity. All the more knives that dig into Crow’s back.
They’re everywhere, Crow feels them, the thin smiles, the smouldering eyes, the low whispers, all of their bitter empathy. They stared at him as if he was some kind of invalid instead of the track champion for the past year.
All of those stupid get well soon cards his mother had gathered from his team-mates, he’d hidden under the bottom drawer of his cupboard. He knew what they really thought, they relished this, he would have. Now they had the chance to shine above him for once; hell, he wouldn’t even be considered. And yet, his mother thought it would be a good for him to turn up for the final race, just to show support for his team.
As if.
He spends the next week wandering, anywhere really, just so he can avoid those pathetic stares. Whether it was in the corner of the library or needlessly searching the computers of a barren class, he made sure that whatever free time he had, he spent it alone.
He’d rather be a shadow than a crack on the wall.
Unfortunately, some couldn’t seem to take the hint.
Thankfully, he’s able to avoid them. But his phone is a non-stop traffic jam of messages. He only gave his number to one of them.
Every single time, his finger lingers over the block button. It would make it so much easier; he’s practically blocked her in real life after all. But the messages, desperate, pleading, keep coming and coming like fingers digging into his shoulders. I hope you’re okay. We’re here if you want to talk. Please, Crow. I’m worried about you. Please! I’m sorry! Can you please call me back? … Call me if you want to?
Crow stares as they flood his phone, his finger still shaking over the words as he imagines them all in her voice; her trembling, hopeless voice that he hated to picture.
His arm limply falls every time, and the messages continue.
He knows he’s being unfair. He knows she’s hurting more because of him.
But he can’t do anything but sulk.
Unlike his father, he’s never had the guts.
“Hey!”
Crow cringes as the book falls from his hands. He hears the furious shushing of the librarian and the quiet ‘sorry’ the girl responds with. He pushes the weight into his swollen ankle, ready to get out of the library as soon as possible. He can’t be bothered to deal with her now.
But a hand, heavy and determined, forces him down into his seat, and she is there beside him. As furious as always. He remains impassive, undisturbed. He can’t lose his cool now.
“What do you want?”
“That’s a nice way to greet your friends!” She scoffs.
“We’re not friends.” Crow returns himself to his book, anything but her.
“Yeah?” The book burns his hands as she snatches it away, forcing him to glare at her. “Well I’m the closest thing you have to one right now! And that’s your own damn fault!”
She follows him past the snarling librarian and out into the courtyard. Crow grit his teeth, wishing he could limp any faster. The early rays of summer make the fabric feel like a constrictor around his ankle.
“Stop following me!”
“Didn’t you say you could run rings around me?”
“Fuck off.”
She doesn’t. She walks on, clutching her bag over her shoulder, never leaving his side.
“I know she’s messaged you.”
Crow tenses. “So what?”
“So why don’t you quit ignoring her, you asshole; what’s your deal?” She asks, as stabbing as possible without even realising it.
“None of your business!”
She makes a scoffing sound that is ripe with astonished disgust, “Uh, when my friend is crying because of you ghosting us all, I think it is.”
It’s only for a moment, but Crow’s pace slows. The image of her tear-stricken face flashes in blue luminance. His chest suddenly aches terribly. But he tosses it away, still storming off, his foot now stinging from his increasing speed. If he doesn’t get rid of this pest soon, he knows he’ll either have to stop from the pain or will fall down himself.
So, he lies. “So what?” He hisses as if she’s nothing but dirt on his shoulder. “Why the fuck should I care about her?”
Crow doesn’t know what he expects. Her to stop out of shock? Her to storm off with fire in her belly? Maybe her jumping on him with blazing fury?
He doesn’t expect the small, cold laugh. Or the words that leave her mouth. “Because it’s clear that you like her.”
Now he truly does stop. His burning foot sets like a stone he could never lift up. She stops right beside him, a thin gaze cutting into him. His head rolls up with a hollow exhale.
“What makes you say that?”
She snorts. “From what I’ve seen,” She responds, “She’s the only one who you ever smile at.”
Ouch. Crow would like to think he didn’t know why that hurt as much as it did.
The boy notices how heavy his steps had become. He sat down on the edge of the fountain in the courtyard, the nearest place, soon joined by his ginger accomplice. The boy shifts himself about so that he can face her directly without having to turn his head, now with his arms resting on his knees. But he waits for her to inevitably speak first.
Eventually, after what seems like a lifetime of her cold stare, she sighs herself, her ginger locks glistening as the sunlight flashes between the water and her hair. “Why do you have to be such a moron?”
He briefly wonders if she’s talking about his attitude or his foot. He now secretly considers the idea that he may be a bit of a moron.
“She misses you.” The girl says.
A month ago, he would have been overjoyed to hear those words. Now, in the face of an outcome he wants to abandon, it just leaves a terrible pain.
“Great.” He responds, hollow.
“No, it’s not.” She declares with a frown. “What the hell are you trying to prove by ignoring her? You think that’s going to make her stay?”
Crow stares for a moment, then his eyes dip. Admittedly, that was a good question. What was he trying to prove? Nothing really. He just didn’t want to say goodbye.
“Won’t you miss her?” He asks.
“Of course I will!” Squirrel says, letting a hint of anger bleed out of her assurance. “That’s why I’m trying to spend, you know, actual time with her before she goes!”
His eyes narrow. “But she’s leaving.” He finds himself saying aloud.
“She hasn’t yet.” Squirrel says plainly, like she knows she’s in the right and is tired of trying to explain it to the incarnation of self-pitying foolishness sat next to her.
Christ. Were those actually his own thoughts…
Shit…of course they were.
This girl was a pest of many variations, but that didn’t stop her from pointing out the obvious.
The truth that he’s been trying to flee.
His neck cranes forward again, staring at his feet. The pain in his foot has dimmed, leaving a tingling, but blank, pulse around his injury. “I don’t want her to go.” He admits, finding it easier when he doesn’t look at her.
Amazingly, she doesn’t say anything for a moment. Predictably, but deservedly, though she sniffs. “Neither do I. But moping around feeling sorry for yourself like some emo isn’t helping anyone!” Her voice punches him. “It’s not like she’s looking forward to leaving as well. But what else can she do? Her and Stormfur don’t want to be dragged apart because of their parents’ bullshit. You can understand that can’t you?”
He does. But it does not mean he likes it?
But then again, neither does she probably.
His fingers pinch the bridge of his nose as it begins to sink in just how in the wrong he is? Is it too late to drown himself in the pool? He doesn’t know how long he can take her vindicated glare.
“I guess.” He admits, dragging his voice like a corpse.
It’s not enough to sate the girl. “You guess.” She snorts, “You know there are better ways of saying you fucked up.”
He leans back, crossing his arms, remaining stupidly silent.
Her mouth creases down, her eyes sliding away from him. “Whatever. So, you going to apologise to her then, or are you just wanting to sit here remaining a jackass?”
“What good what it do?”
“What? You being a jackass? Not much.” She smirks when he growls at her. “What the hell do you mean? ‘What good?’ Does it really matter? It’s just apologising so you can hang out with her again, dumbass.”
His mouth sharpens to swing another sword of insults, then it dulls as the thought lingers. Hanging out with her again. There is some dark, small voice buried somewhere that reminds him how much he wants that.
Tilting forward, his voice is softer than he thought possible. “But she’s going to leave. What does it matter?”
That’s what happened to him. People were here, then they went, and Crow was left missing them. That was his life; the kind of bad joke you would find in a Christmas cracker.
He hears something rough start up like a boxer stepping into the ring, before a dry sigh follows. Something bumps against his arm, but it doesn’t hurt, it just gets his attention. She’s still there, sat beside him, relaxed, her eyes still sharp, but her mouth is curved into something flat and unjudging.
“If we’re going to miss her either way,” Squirrel says, far too smooth to be recognisable. “We might as well make up the time we’ve got left with her.” She adjusts herself in the cold, yet comfortable way that only she could. “Look, she misses you, man. Just come to the bar and talk to her.”
It’s so gentle there might as well be the ‘please’ on the end that she refuses to say.
She’s keeping a little bit of her pride.
Crow can admire that much; he’d be a hypocrite otherwise.
His own pride wants him to scoff and turn away from her, carrying on the same way he always has. His pride has always been the leader ahead of his brain.
But something’s catching up in that race.
Something that makes Crow stumble up, silently resigning himself to what he truly wants. He doesn’t wait for the clearly surprised girl to stand as well. She’d catch up soon enough. And she does. Crow half expects her to take a clear lead, walking backwards, grinning at his expense as he plods along like a fallen soldier.
Instead, she walks beside him, never taking a lead and slowing down when he needs to. He must have been going crazy; he almost swore he saw her hand reach out to steady him whenever he slightly stumbled. She looks away whenever he glances to see.
Hazily, he changes the subject.
“She really missed me?”
“Yep.” She snaps her jaw, beside him he can see the conceited sneer grow on her face. “God knows why? It was beginning to get peaceful without your miserable ass.”
The quiet part of him softens, pleased and guilty by the clarification.
The loud part of him is wounded by the insult.
“Oh really?” He scoffs; same old bitch she usually was. “Then why are you here?”
Her emerald eyes open halfway, a thin line across her mouth. “Feather was too scared you were mad at her, and Storm pretty much hates you.” She shrugs, “No one else would give you time.”
“Right.” He scoffs, nudging her with a force that’s halfway between play and pain. “Keep telling yourself that.”
“You should be grateful that I will.” Her teeth gleam in the sunlight. “Otherwise, you’d be limping your sorry ass back to crying in your room again.”
He rolls his eyes, annoyed that he’s gifted her another point. “Prick.”
She gently nudges him along. “Love ya too.
Every chemical in his brain is sparking. The thoughts rising up in a thousand screams that demand him to turn around.
At the door to the bar, the flashing neon lights seem to hurt when they meet his eyes.
Get out of here. They roar in flashing cries. She’ll never forgive you.
A hand softly pushes him on.
They’re all at the table. Their table. Her beside her brother, upset and anxious. Leaf on the other side, awkwardly trying to raise broken spirits. The empty seats make their space look lonely. Or maybe it’s for the best.
They’re better off without you. Just like you’re better off without them.
Squirrel raises a hand, calling over. They all turn to face the pair.
Crow wonders where their eyes linger, what they all hold.
You know where they’re looking right. Cripple.
He swallows, trying to taste whatever they see in him. Feather’s blue orbs shimmer on him.
She just feels sorry for you. You can’t make it right.
He slowly trudges to the table. Feather rises out of her seat. Storm puts up a limp hand cautiously.
See that. He doesn’t trust you. He hates you, and he should.
Storm lets the hand fall, lets her walk slowly up to where Crow stands.
Crow begins to feel spots blinking across his eyes, she gets nearer and nearer. His cast is beginning to warm up, the heat milking over his body, he thinks he can feel himself sweating a little.
She’s only a step away, her eyes close then open with direct intention.
Crow breathes in the silence accepting the hate she’s sure to give. The hate he now knows he deserves.
Then she hugs him.
Tells him she’s glad to see him, that she was so worried after hearing about his injury, that she’s sorry for not coming to see him herself. She pulls back, holding him dearly, smiling like only she can do.
Crow breathes in and out. In and out.
She’s going to leave.
She is. And it will hurt.
But he can’t let himself see her hurt again.
So he apologises.
She accepts it.
And they all blissfully move on.
They only have a month left. They all know that. There are days where Feather and Storm take the time to pack and plan, careful to not alert anyone. They all realise how quickly this time will fade in the hourglass before they can never see each other again.
So they use that time wisely.
Every moment they can, they are all together. Storm picks them all up in his car, sometimes early enough that they can get breakfast together, then it’s classes, breaks, lunches, and finally getting together so they can finally put their evenings to good use.
Movie nights and pizza meals where they laugh as Squirrel overanalyses every detail.
Final study groups where they all take turns being embarrassed by Leaf’s overwhelming knowledge.
Drinks at the bar where Storm and Feather sneak drinks out to the younger members before running as security spot them (those are Squirrel’s favourite nights apparently).
Sessions at the karaoke place – Crow refuses to take part for a while, watching as Feather sings Beyonce like an angel and Squirrel (admittedly perfectly) spits out every rap song from Hamilton. He eventually gives in when the bar added songs by The Strokes to the list and nobody else knew who they were; it was time to teach them about real music.
But even before that, Crow knows that, for the first time in years, he’s truly having fun.
Because when they’re together, laughing, not out of any mocking reverence, but true laughter, and he sees her smile in the way he loves, everything feels right. Perfect.
There is a part of him that stings, like a thorn twisted in his arm, at the thought that these days are slipping and fading through their fun, growing closer to the separation that rains on them all.
But for those smiling moments, he doesn’t care.
Because it’s only those moments he should ever care about.
“You’re coming, right?” She asks.
She’s sat beside him as they watch the final track race of the year from the bleachers. They all talked him into seeing it. Sure, he still had another week before his cast would come off, so of course he was side-lined, but it gave them all some more time to kill. Plus, apparently Storm was friends with some guy on the team (Crow pretended he recognised the name) so if Crow didn’t go, he’d be on his own.
Reluctantly, he’d acknowledged his pride wasn’t worth the bullshit of that.
So they all sat there (except for Leaf who was helping her friend Moth study), buried in the small crowd, wrapped up against the cold air (he’d never realised how cold these nights were when he wasn’t pumping air and blood throughout his body) watching the team actually compete for once.
They are all in the fourth lap when she asks.
“What do you mean?” He asks, stiffly looking ahead. He’s only playing, but there’s something different in the brief glimpse he can make of her. Her mouth is coiled into a frown that doesn’t look right. He lets the game go early. “Oh, the premiere? Yeah, sure. I’ve got time to kill.”
“It’s not killing time,” She scoffs, pulling the gloves from her hands to click her fingers. “It’ll be making it.”
“Is that a promise, or will I get a refund in the inevitable chance it flops?”
She tries hard to look angry at him, but there’s something twitching her mouth upwards. “Nope. You turn up, that money’s ours.”
The team ascends into the fifth lap and Crow scoffs, spotting that half of them are clearly running out of energy, they’d all drop before they got a winner. “It better be Oscar worthy then?”
The gloves slip gracefully back onto her hands. “You shouldn’t expect anything less.”
“I’m sure it’ll be great!” Feather coos from the other side of Squirrel. “You’ve converted it for me, haven’t you?”
“Naturally!” Squirrel promises. Feather and Storm will be able to attend the premiere, but the girl had begged Squirrel to burn the movie onto a disc for her. A parting gift. Feather spoke like it was already a masterpiece instead of a secret project none of them knew about.
“Sick! I can’t wait!”
“Well, you’ll have to. Just two more days.” Squirrel says, her dark ginger hair flares up as the light of her phone screen brightens on her face.
Just two more days before the film. A day later, their group decreases.
Crow sips down his coffee, the bitter taste mercifully numbing his thoughts.
“Come on, lad! You can do it!” Storm’s grunts resonate.
Crow watches as his (kind of) friend’s friend sprints near the front, sweating and panting in ways Crow could never do this early on. He keeps that to himself. “He needs to slow down a little.”
“Slow down in a race?” Storm’s tone is enough to scratch Crow with a stare. “Great idea.”
“Yeah, I know, numb-nuts.” Crow bites back, “Because if he doesn’t, he’s going to fall worse than I did.”
“There’s still like ten laps to go.”
“All the more reason to take his time. From the looks of it, he’ll be able to walk past a track of dead bodies if he holds back compared to the rest.”
“This is the team you were part of, right?” Storm’s leer prick from an eye corner, “Do you have a nice word to say about anyone?”
Crow gives him a look.
“Never mind.” Storm retreats, his sigh steaming in the cold.
“I don’t know,” Feather grins, “You might actually have a challenge when you’re back on the field, Crow.” Her voice is a tender prod that makes both her brother and Crow smirk.
“Oh, I’m shaking.” They all find themselves laughing.
Almost all of them.
Only Crow notices, but he doesn’t try to look like he does. Squirrel is staring at her phone screen, a dull look burrowing into a series of messages Crow can’t get a good look at before she buries the phone away.
Then she gets back to smiling. In that filtered, artificial way that Crow has begun to perceive with weak malaise.
Something is definitely wrong, Crow identifies.
The whole group had been able to get front row seats. Surprisingly, the film team made the hall look really damn impressive. The Home Ec class had sent a section of their team to cater at the front of the hall, and the whole room was pungent with the airy tang of buttered popcorn and hot dogs.
At least sixty chairs had been set up around the room, and each one was occupied, probably mostly by friends or family members, but hey, they all paid. Plus, another twenty people were stood at the back of the room, also eagerly awaiting. Crow sees Squirrel’s parents among them, both holding bright, jubilant smiles as they await for the introduction by the film team.
Crow remembers the way Squirrel felt when they were studying, the pressure on her shoulders.
Surely her father’s excited face would make her know that there were some who believed in her.
Crow doesn’t wonder anymore why that satisfies him.
It had been a great turn out, all things considered. The kind that Squirrel had wildly mulled over all these months. The kind that she should have been proud to see.
That’s what makes it so much more troubling when she steps out with her class. The group is a sea of faces, nervous and proud, but her face sticks out. Because after her eyes glaze the room, examining every seat, her face, actually done up with a little make-up, drips into disappointment.
Her voice, high and passionate as she thanks them all for coming, is enough to trick the audience with a mockery of eagerness. But Crow finds the small tics, the breathy snaps in the joy.
His stomach curls as she walks off to her own seat at the side, the green glow of her eyes darkening to grey, her fiery hair extinguishing, as the lights fade off.
Crow almost feels guilty that it isn’t the film that takes his attention for the next hour and a half. He catches on enough: it’s some stylised action-comedy about a group of teens who rebel against their domineering teachers and take several of the worst teachers and bullies’ hostage. It goes well enough, Crow feels. The audience laugh when they’re meant to, some in deep hysterics, it’s directed fairly well, especially for a student film (how they got the permission to set a car on fire, he’ll have to ask her), the actors are genuinely really good (though that Shrew kid is certainly melodramatic when he has the chance), but it goes by.
And it’s undeniably Squirrel. Crow isn’t sure how much of a hand she had in the script, but the jokes and one-liners he knows so well (usually since they’re at his expense) fly off the screen like bullets. The scenes are energised, fast, dragging every pair of eyes like they were on the back seat of a crashing plane.
It’s all her.
And Crow finds he likes it.
Hell, Crow actually chuckles at one or two jokes, that’s something they could put on the poster.
But still, his attention is driven away, like an itch on his neck, a pinch that convulses his head sideways, towards her.
The placid line, the lacklustre stiffness that makes her expression like a plastic doll, it never leaves.
There is a screen that is literally screaming everything he knows is her, and when he looks at the flesh, he doesn’t recognise what he sees.
Not even at the end, where the cast are bowing to a room of applauding, whooping, undeniably entertained people, she fakes the smile, her eyes give her away.
Crow doesn’t understand. Not why he’s worried. Not why she’s like this. Not how he’s the only one who’s noticed. A sigh to his left proves the last thought contrary.
“Leaf?” Crow prompts her as they exit the seats. “What’s going on?”
Unlike what he’s seen on the screen, Leaf’s acting is terrible. “I-I don’t know what you mean.” She stammers, blinking three times in a second. Storm and Feather follow a group of people to the front of the room where the film team are being congratulated, they join Squirrel and her parents, helping the adults gloriously praise the director. Squirrel smiles thinly and nods her head.
“Yes, you do.” Crow presses, his eyes narrowing. “What’s wrong with Squirrel? Did something happen?”
“I’m not sure.” Leaf lies, she doesn’t meet Crow’s gaze. “Not that I know of.”
Somehow, Crow suspects Leaf is one of the few that does know about it.                 “Come on, cut the crap.” He snaps. “You know what it is!”
“I- No, I don’t.” She tries to join the group, but Crow gently hold her arm. She turns to him, worry filling her eyes. “Let go.”
Realising himself, he does, but he speaks quickly. “I’m sorry. Look, I just want to know what’s wrong?”
Leaf does calm down, enough that her own eyes thin on the boy. “Why?”
(She helped him get over himself)
(She told him how much he had upset Feather)
(He hates how she looks when she’s upset)
“She’s my friend.” He admits and lies, bleakly, letting go of his annoyance at how hot his face becomes. Be calm. Keep cool. It’s not that big an admission, whether they say it or not, they’ve been hanging out with each other for almost half a year now, they definitely were not just unfortunate acquaintances anymore.
However, Leaf still looks at Crow like he’s grown a second head.
But after a moment of tense silence, and a promise by Crow to not tell Squirrel who told him, she admits that Crow is right and what it is that’s upsetting his so-called friend.
It takes him a minute to remember the face that matches the name. Bramble. He does eventually remember the brown-haired jock from months ago. Apparently, he used to be Squirrel’s English tutor before Feather. Leaf says that Squirrel used to get on really well with him. Enough that their sessions on Shakespeare had begun to turn into something else. But then he had to quit as her tutor because he wanted to spend time with his half-brother.
“Hawk.” Leaf says the name like she’s chewing on wire.
Crow doesn’t see the problem until Leaf explains more. Hawk is trouble, real trouble. Leaf has met him before, since her best friend is his sister. He’s terrible to that sister, Leaf says. Terrible in ways that are conducted by threats and insults. There are rumours that he is involved in crowds that are more, and worse, that plain out teenage vandals.
Squirrel had tried to warn Bramble about him. He didn’t listen. He continued to stick with Hawk, continued to stay over the line that was growing wider between him and the girl that had clearly liked him. He had made promises to meet her, to show he wasn’t giving all his time to one person, and had failed every time.
Failed again and again.
And tonight was one of those failures.
The night that had meant the most to Squirrel, the night that Bramble had sworn to uphold in every apology he had made before, it was a night where he hadn’t shown up. It seemed it was the final straw for whatever friendship Squirrel had thought still remained with the boy.
By the end of it all, Crow understands. And, though he knows he can’t really hate someone he doesn’t know, the thought of the brown-haired boy makes Crow’s fist clench and his jaw tighten.
Crow had hated Squirrel when he first said he would turn up, and he had meant what he promised even then.
“It really upset her that much?”
Leaf looks down, letting the silence speak. “Squirrel doesn’t like anyone easily.”
“I can believe that.” Crow mutters, exhaling. He wonders why his breath steams in a room as warm as this. “Do you think he might call her?”
Leaf huffs, anger looks wrong on her features. “Oh, he will. Just not when it matters.”
“Son of a bitch.”
Leaf nods sagely, craning her head for a moment. She’s staring right over his face, like a hawk watching a mouse.
“What?”
“Nothing.” She says, turning away. “Come on, we better go see her. At least someone can be there for her.” The awkwardness between them lets up a little at that shared goal. They both hated someone who had hurt their friend. They both now wanted to cheer that friend up.
But Crow didn’t know how to do that? It sounded like Squirrel really liked this guy. He must have meant a lot to her if his absence had caused that look to cross her face. What could he possibly say?
Well, he had to say something at least.
They walk over to where she stands, still soaking in the compliments like a wet rag. “Hey.” She says simply when she finds them. Her mouth crookedly curves up. “Did you enjoy it?”
As Leaf goes on about how much she did, Crow sees everything. The attempted blushes of make-up, the smooth dress she wears so differently from her winter coat, the way her hair has been smoothed down in red shining tails. Everyone had dressed in some formal style; this was different.
She’s made such an effort.
Squirrel takes in her sister’s words with lazy nods and a weak smile. Soon enough those hazed eyes will be on him, waiting for his own words that will fall off her like dust.
Crow’s stomach dances like a maniac, internal claws poking and prodding him to think of something that won’t just pass through her like a ghost. His breath hollows in his throat, and his fingers twitch in his pockets.
He didn’t know about this kind of-
Oh shit. Yes he did. Not the same way, but it was there. Liking someone close to him, and then feeling betrayed by her actions.
But unlike him, Squirrel was innocent. Still, he got it. Of course, he did. It was her who had come to him when he was like it anyway.
Leaf finishes her tune of praise, and Squirrel doesn’t look much better. Leaf can see that, but she doesn’t say much else, just gives her sister a close hug. Maybe there are some whispers that Crow doesn’t catch. Then they separate like rain off of glass.
And those green eyes find him. Crow straightens. She rolls her eyes, not in the way Crow likes, and her brow creases. “This ought to be good.” She sighs, reserved, “Okay, put me on the chopping block.”
Against his better judgment, Crow laughs lightly. He isn’t sure why. Around the two is an endless noise of celebration; whatever light revealing them mounts the shadow of a spotlight. Their own personal staring contest, as if they were waiting for the other to say something. But no, it’s Crow who has to speak, now or never.
Someone more cunning than Crow might have figured out the perfect thing to say. But Crow wouldn’t know wits if it spat in his face.
He’s always been up-front and honest. So that’s what he is. “It was good.”
The lines on her face break as Squirrel raises a brow. “Really?”
“Yeah. You all did a good job.”
Despite the noise, it feels quiet. “Oh.” The girl purses her lips, “Thanks. I’m glad you liked it.”
It’s plain and simple, that is Crow, but that’s not her. Crow’s mouth trembles open again, his mind digging. “Um, so, that part where Anita smears paint over her teacher?”
Her head raises slightly, “Yeah?”
“Was that inspired by Tarantino?”
Squirrel snorts, “Was it that obvious?”
“Kind of.”
“Are you saying I plagiarised? There’s such a thing as influence.”
It’s not the joke, but the snappy nature that makes Crow smirk. “You want me to write that in your defence notes for the trial?”
A tight sound escapes Squirrel, her hair curls out a little from the snap of her head. “Well, at least I know I got his style right.” She mumbles.
Crow shrugs, “You got a lot of his stuff right actually? Is he one of your favourites or something?”
“Pfft! I’m still convincing my dad to let me hang his movie posters in my room to this day!” She shakes her head a little, “Excessive violence, my ass. So, what else of his ‘stuff’ do you mean I got right?”
Crow doesn’t hesitate, “The humour.”
Now, a real chortle of laughter escapes the girl. Her eyes close, then open again, spunky and full of light. “Humour? Knowing you, I’m not sure if that’s really a praise!”
Crow stiffens himself with a coy shrug, “Well, it made me laugh. Whether the scenes were meant to or not,” His teeth expose in a real grin, “That’s a different question.”
The punch lands softly on his shoulder. “Jackass!” She pipes in a voice Crow can actually recognise.
He takes the chance. “Still, I wouldn’t like to be the idiot that missed this.”
Her smile remains, like an age old painting. But there’s something questionable in her eyes, and its hard to tell if she thinks he knows anything or not. “Yeah…” Her face flickers momentarily like a dying lightbulb. The silence comes back as her head falls a little, the smell of hot dogs becoming overshadowed by the fizz of cheap soda.
Crow swallows, “They don’t know what they missed. I guess that’s their loss, right?”
Her poker face is not as good as she likes to think it is. Crow is glad it’s not. Under the lights, he sees every detail buried in the screen of her emotions. The silent stare, the drop of her face, then the slow rise of the sun, and the settled, content smile that finally looks normal.
It’s probably not the end of it. Crow knows it wasn’t even really over for him.
But for now, it’s enough. The shine of green that lingers on him proves that much.
“Damn right.”
Crow is sad the next night.
For one, he stands in the cold air as Storm finishes packing the small luggage into the back of his car. They had to all be on time if they wanted to make this right. Feather hugs both Squirrel and Leaf close, they’re all making wet, crying sounds.
“I promise I’ll be in touch soon!” Feather exclaims, her face must be freezing from how much the tears streak down her cheeks.
“You better!” Squirrel hold back a real sob.
In touch. Crow suspects that’s a nicer way of saying I’ll never see you again. The cast is now off of his leg and he’s able to walk surprisingly well.
But it still hurts. Everything hurts.
As the women cry, Storm wipes his hands down, walking over to Crow. His impressive build is imposing and powerful in the red headlights. “I guess this is goodbye.”
“I guess.”
One of Storm’s hands lazily finds his pocket, the other waves aimlessly in the air. “Feel free to call if you want.”
Was that a last minute effort of a truce? Crow can’t tell as Storm’s face is remarkably stony; he guessed he had to be when his sister was crying her eyes out. The dark-haired boy nods, “Sure.”
“Great. Um, good luck on the field when you get back to it.”
Crow sniffs, “I don’t need luck.”
“Cocky little shit.” There’s a rattle of humour in his response. His hand extends out. Crow takes it. They shake and part without struggle. “I’ll see you.”
“I hope not.”
As he enters the car, Storm leaves crow with a smirk on his face, and a gradual nod.
Now it’s her turn.
Linking their eyes for the final time was harder than any race Crow thought he’d ever done or do. This had been the climax he’d hated to think about for the longest time. This was it. If there was anything he wanted to say to her, he had to say it now.
He doesn’t say it.
Partly because he knows it would do neither of them any good.
Partly, and more surprisingly, because when he found those blue pools he’d adored, they didn’t pull him in like they remembered. They were just the eyes of a good friend that he needed to say goodbye to.
A good friend.
And that’s how they part, after a long, tender hug, and more promises to talk over wires and electricity. He’s have to cherish that voice in the future, he knew that much. But it’s not as hard as he imagined. They pull away from each other, her eyes wet, his eyes beginning to leak, and then she calls a final goodbye as she enters the car, not looking back.
Crow feels like he’s only blinked once, his hand still in the air, when the red eyes of the headlights fade over the road and into the darkness.
It’s just the three of them now. And it’s then that Crow realises another reason why he’s sad. The link in his friendship with these girls was gone now, they had no reason to remain friends of friends anymore. It’s certainly that way for Leaf at least as she turns off, still rubbing her eyes.
To Crow’s small, slowly realising hope, Squirrel met him for a moment. Her eyes are red and raw, but she’s keeping herself tight and composed.
“Are you going to be okay?”
Apparently, hope was like a dominatrix, a real pain lover. It was only pity that Squirrel had for him. The pity for some heartbroken sap; that was all he was. Crow looked away.
“We’re going to have to be, aren’t we?”
Squirrel exhales, her breath fogs over the creamy glow of her skin. “She’ll call.”
“I know.”
He wants to leave yet wants to stay. It’s what she thinks that makes his lips tighten. But can he blame her? For a while, it was undeniably true. Not anymore, but it was still there, she was in her right to think that.
The quiet sticks, making the air sickly and humid, until Leaf pipes up. “Squirrel, Dad just text; we need to get back soon.”
“I’m coming.”
She lingers there. Her ginger hair un-straightened and blazing. The fire begins to cool as she turns one last time to the boy. He stands there, feeling stupid for so many reasons, his stuffy throat keeping him infuriatingly silent.
Once again, he’s running away, this time while being cowardly still.
She must realise that nothing else will come, as her pitying eyes only loom over him a second more before she nods slowly – a last goodbye – and walks off with her sister.
He stands there, watching another fire go out. In the cold. Alone. Once again.
He zips up his hoodie over his mouth and walks off home. Still terribly cold.
It’s the first day of summer vacation. The break towards a new start, some idiots have said. All he feels is an ending.
Feather has called him like she promised. Her and Storm have made it to River County. Crow is happy for her. He thanks her like the good friend he likes to think he is and talks about track and the swim team up there before they call off with another promise to speak again.
By the time he’s finished the call, he’s made it to the milkshake bar.
He’s terribly thirsty. Terribly drained. He’s ready to sip in the sugar again, this time at a new, smaller table.
He walks in.
They’re both already there. Sat at their table, two sisters talking between themselves. Crow thinks the seats beside them look full already. This was a bad idea. He swallows down the empty air before turning.
Then he hears his name. Then a nickname.
“Hey bird-brain, we’re over here!”
The name hits him like a dart. But it’s enough for his hand to fall off of the door. When he looks over, staring, still, he waits a tense moment to see if his hopes will be kind to him for once.
She’s standing up, her winter coat shaking gleefully in the summer air conditioning, not caring a bit as other patrons look her way. He doesn’t care either. Her hand waves frantically, “You still having trouble walking? Get over here, dumbass!”
Her sister scolds her volume and language. Squirrel laughs, pitchy and playful, then calls for the boy to come over again, exaggeratedly patting the seat next to her.
Crow doesn’t hesitate to take it.
“I would have called you, but,” She shrugs, “Turns out I don’t have your number. So, I got you this, just in case.” She pulls a shake up from next to her knee and holds it out to the boy.
Crow, like he did a while ago, blushes fervently, “Is this some kind of extortion scam?” He says, smiling, pulling out his wallet.
She smacks his hands down, “No, it’s a milkshake. This round’s on me!”
“What is it?”
“Try it and see.” There’s a glint in her eyes Crow finds charming and worrying all at once. He tries to see if Leaf knows if he’s about to be poisoned or not. The girl just smiles and shakes her head unknowingly.
He knows the chances that he’ll regret this far outweigh the chance that this will be something he’ll enjoy. He wouldn’t expect anything less from this girl. Yet he still grins as he gratefully takes and tastes the drink.
His face twists. Gleefully. Banana, cream and caramel leaps over his tongue, forcing a tidal wave of pleasure down his throat. They surge around his taste buds like a thousand fire-crackers.
It isn’t too sweet either.
It’s as sweet as the syllables of a name that feels warm in his mouth.
Just perfect.
His expression is clearly enough. “Thank God for that.” Leaf sighs.
“See! I told ya I had good taste, Leafy!” Squirrel punches him lightly on the arm and Crow thinks nothing of it. The girl may be infuriating, but she’s also remarkable.
But, he wouldn’t give her the round that easily.
He sets the drink back down on their table, flicking the girl’s ear. “If this makes up most of your taste, little bushy-tailed rat, that smirk of yours will go black.”
For now though, her smile is a beautiful, a really beautiful, white. “Laugh all you want, just know that whenever you get that in the future, I’ll be wanting an interest rate from you.” Her hand lands on his back, and it doesn’t leave. “How’s fifty percent sound?”
“How about I tip fifty percent of this over your head?”
“As long as you pay me, I don’t care.”
And they all laughed.
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