#like i was hungry for once in my life when i got home nd i made a bunch of food

[grapecaseschoices]

For the tav backstories ask, how about 3, 7, 17, 23 for all of your tavs hehe (also jsyk I’m gonna properly answer your ask for these after work since I answered the wrong ask game lmaoooo)

[no pressure!! but yay!]

3. Who was your Tav raised by?

Wow you're really making me think!

Sekryd: I think by local guild members, my brain wants to say this. I'm doing a quick and dirty research run and it seems Gold Dwarves don't like anyone, in short. Except each other and mostly humans. LMAO.

I think her parents were traveling merchants. She didn't always travel with them but sometimes she did. When she was left behind in BG I think the guild as a whole helped raise her. Various aunts and uncles and piblings by heart if not name. Mostly though, it was an much older aunt that she saw as a grandmother.

Adair: His nanny on paper, but xyr's servents in reality. Mom was occasionally around and active. But it was mainly her nanny a nd the butler.

Orfeo: Himself. The streets? the occasional sympathetic and/or taking-advantage-of-a-hungry-urchin shopkeep. the occasional sympathetic and/or taking-advantage-of-a-hungry-urchin crimimal. But usually other street kids. But mostly himself.

Kaeliana: I'm still trying to feel around on the durge bg and what I want to work for her. Fel, of course, was one of the people. But I think she had foster or adopted parents for a time -- they were good people. I feel before that maybe a group home?

Integrity: His older sister and an elderly aunt for a time. [This may change but it works; definitely leans towards his protectiveness for tiefling women. Especially the ballsy ones.]

Andy: Too many people. If you could call some of it "raising". People who saw him as either an obligation or a tool. But the people who really raised him were his parents, for a time, and then his older cousin.

Kendis: Her parents and her brother.

7. Did your Tav travel a lot pre-tadpole?

Sekryd: Moderately. Mostly around BG. Mostly for business outside of it. She has passing familiarity with parts of the areas around her city. Waterdeep, Candlekeep. Been to the Sword Coast once.

Adair: To a couple of places extensively but not in the way xe is now. Mostly was a "homebody", in the sense that they had to be at home due to responsibilities [Noble, you see]. But, of course, would visit other nobles and etc.

Orfeo: [This may change] But I feel he was JUST starting out. He probably made out around the city and surrounding areas and was just venturing outward before he was snatched.

Kaeliana: She doesn't remember ... jk. Yes. Seems that Durge got busy and bloody.

Integrity: For a time. Before the hermit life. Call it the indiscretion of youth.

Andy & Kendis: Yes. Andy mostly lmao. Vengeance path!

17. What’s your Tav’s worst childhood memory?

Sekryd: Some other child, maybe another kid of a guild member, borrowing a book of hers and basically returning it like shit.

Adair: Her grandfather didn't really acknowledge her existence [but he was the only child of his beloved - though rebellious - eldest daughter]. But one time he invited her to an event, she was very excited. However, the night was -- not the best ... xe was used to people's muttered comments but usually they never stared xyr down. I guess it's different among your grandfather's people vs other nobles. The cherry on the cake was her drunk grandfather who left for home without her.

Orfeo: Just one?

Kaeliana: Blood. Blood. Bloodbloodbloodblood. She wish she could say it was that but that group home was the pits. Strangely she remembers THAT.

Integrity: Other than the racism, it was good. Most of his horrid memories started at their later teenhood [still a child, arguably. and yes they would argue.]

Andy: Man. ROFLMAO. Where do we begin~~ But no. It will always be his parents. His parents went on a trip and the boat disappeared.

Kendis: When their parents left her behind in the grove. They understand the reasoning, but it doesn't make what happened around it any better. For a time she thought they had died.

23. Share any hcs/anything you want to say about your Tav’s backstory

Sekryd: I believe has a skilled hand with a hammer. She will read. Anything. May be my most curious. That's saying something given Andy, Kendis, and Integrity are in the lot.

Adair: Is surprisingly a guile hero. Surprising because xe tends to lean straightfoward and blunt regularly. But I suppose facing fiends and ogres require the same silver tongue as dealing with nobles. I also picture him dedicated to his people [who have warm up to her and some also are protective].

Orfeo: He tried his hand at criminality [if yall were gonna arrest him for being poor, why not actually do something worth it yeah?]. But not really for him; far too cut throat [towards him .... and you know, maybe other people. Maybe he cares about that too.] Still. He has his moments and remembers some things.

Kaeliana: I haven't reached it all in Act 3. But I think before Orin got her, Kae was starting to wonder. Starting to have a change of heart. Before Wyll. I think it was from being a paladin.

Integrity: I put outlander in his bg but he's a Hermit. He left his grove/people/wte. Fuck them druids.

Andy:

Tremble for yourself, my man You know that you have seen this all before Tremble, little lion man You'll never settle any of your scores

Your grace is wasted in your face Your boldness stands alone among the wreck Now learn from your mother or else Spend your days biting your own neck

Kendis: Very much still dead not-gf central.

[transmigrationmacabre]

like i just straight up don't kno wht's going on at all ever anymore

[13-reasons-ideas]

Can’t Go Back Part 19

A/N: Sorry this one is a few days late. I was having issues with it. I couldnt get it to flow and it had to be reworked a few times. No smut in this one. It also wasn't working for me. There will be smut in the next Present chapter. The next chapter will be posted on Friday as usual. As always, feedback is appreciated and much love. -Em

Monty and I were still dancing around each other a little, but things were getting easier. Our life had fallen back into a comfortable routine. The date night we indulged in last week seemed like it hit the reset button on our relationship again. Our alarm went off on Tuesday morning and we both groaned in protest. It was so warm in bed. “Remind me again why we can’t just cut school and lay here all day?”

“Because we need to go learn things. Helps with the whole graduation thing we are supposed to do this year.” I could feel Monty peppering my neck with soft kisses. “It’s not going to work, Casanova.”

“Shhh. Let me try.” He shushed me.

“No. We don’t have time.” I sighed. I really don’t want to get up. How was I a morning person before?

“I think we do.” Oh yeah.  I didn’t have someone waking me up with cuddles and kisses. Nd begging to stay in bed.

“We do not.” I sighed again. Monty sighed. He let go of me and I rolled out of bed. I could feel his eyes on my ass, and I shook my hips a little. He ignored me.

After a hot shower, separately lest we run late for another joyous day at Liberty High, we enjoyed coffee and breakfast together. I smiled to myself while I ate. I was just thankful that we were getting back to normal again. I hated fighting with him. We both knew that it would happen. Especially since we are both stubborn and have an inexplicable need to be right. We were prepared for the little tiffs that would come along. We were prepared for the big fights that were sure to come. Forever is a long time, after all. There were just some things you couldn’t prepare for. Our current struggle was one of those things. But we were getting through it.

Monty startled me when he placed a full cup of coffee beside me. “Thank you.”

“I promised I would never leave your morning coffee empty, remember?”

“I remember.” I smiled fondly and took a sip. He placed his bowl-we had moved up from sticking his hand directly in the box, thank God-in the dishwasher. Scott texted me while I was packing up my backpack.

Can we talk before lunch?

Yeah, sure. About what?

Monty.

Is everything okay? I looked up from my phone at my husband. He was shoving his physics textbook into his bag. It didn’t seem like anything was wrong.

Nothing’s wrong exactly.

What do you mean? He didn’t reply. There was still no answer when Monty and I got to school. Scott wouldn’t look at me when we stopped to chat with our friends. What the hell?

Scott met me outside of my class. “Hey.”

“Hey.” We walked to an empty alcove outside, chatting about nothing in particular. He sat down on the bench and motioned for me to join him.

“I want to keep this short because I’m hungry. We need to talk about Monty.”

“What about him?”

“Now, I know I said I would stay out of your marriage unless I was invited.”

“Yes. You did?”

“And I’m glad everything is working out between you two now.”

“Yeah.” I was beginning to get nervous.

“I also swore to myself I would take zero interest in your private life.”

“That sounds like bullshit. But okay.” He didn’t say anything. He looked at me seriously. Oh. “You mean, our private life.”

“Yeah.”

“So, why do we need to talk Scott?”

“You need to have sex with your husband.” He stated.

“Oh. Okay. I’ll get right on that. Shall we text you updates before, during, and after?”

“Addison. I’m serious.”

“If you are going to lecture me on ‘needs’ Scott….”

“No, nothing like that. He’s just really fucking annoying.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Don’t worry, we don’t talk details. All I need to know about that is that its consensual. But he’s getting kind of cranky.”

“Not with me.” I shrugged.

“Yeah. Because he loves you and he just got out of your bad books.”

“You think that would stop him from being cranky with me? Are we talking about the same Montgomery de la Cruz here? Have you met your best friend?”

“Yes. I think, given the situation, that it would. He likes you. He doesn’t exactly like many other people. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed.”

“Maybe once or twice.” I shrugged.

“Will you just think about it?”

“Yeah, I’ll think about it.”

“Great. And no. I don’t need updates. Or want them.” We stood up and started walking to the cafeteria.

“Hey Scott?”

“Yeah Addy?”

“Thank you. For being so supportive during this whole mess. I don’t think many other people would be.”

“You’re my friends. It’s what I’m here for. And you feed me at least once a week. I wasn’t about to start missing out on that.” He grinned at me. I laughed and pushed him gently.

“Let me check with my wife.” Monty was saying as Scott and I sat down at lunch.

“Check with me about what?”

“I was just asking Monty if he was down to come to my place for a party later this week.” Bryce said.

Monty gave me a look. “And so, I said I would check with you.” Ah yes. The old checking with the wife line.

“When this week?”

“Friday. Are you his daytimer?”

“Friday?” I thought for a second. “You have a doctor’s appointment at four and physio at seven. It seems I am.”

“Sorry man.” Monty shrugged.

“It’s one appointment. I’m sure you’d be fine to miss them. Or you could swing by after.” I rolled my eyes.

“Do you want your friend’s knee to be permanently fucked? No? Then he can’t go.” Bryce didn’t answer. Thinking the matter had been decided and was no longer up for discussion, I settled in to eat my lunch.

“You could just come anyway. How would she know?” I heard him whisper to Monty.

“Considering we live together I think I would notice if he wasn’t home.” I whisper said back. “We share a bed.” I left the implication of what happened the last time he wasn’t home in our bed, but rather out with Bryce, be.

“Fine.” Bryce pouted.

I caught up with Monty after lunch and he walked me to class. His arm was thrown over my shoulder, possessively, more often than not now that we were getting back on the road to happy, healthy marriage land. “Check with your wife, huh?”

“Yeah. Don’t want to hurt his feelings.”

“You know I’m okay with you going, right?”

“I know. But I would rather spend my Friday night with you. I don’t actually have a doctor’s appointment I forgot about, do I?”

“No. You’re free for the night.”

“Good.”

“How has your knee been doing, by the way?”

“It’s been okay. Not like I’m doing anything to stress the ligament too much.” I smirked softly. “I mean, I can’t play ball. I’m not even supposed to be working out that much.” Right. That’s what you meant.

“That’s true. What are we doing instead of Bryce’s?”

“I was thinking pizza? Maybe make it ourselves?”

“Hey guys. Wait up!” Scott called after us. We stopped and turned around. Scoot was tailed by Anders.

“Hey.”

“Doctor’s appointments?” Scott smirked.  

“Sure.” Monty nodded.

“You really don’t want to go on Friday, do you?”

“No. I have much better plans.” He squeezed me softly.

“He really does.” I nodded.

“What are your plans?” Anders asked.

“No pants pizza night.”

“What?”

“No pants pizza.” I repeated.

“What’s that?”

“We make or order pizza. And then we sit on the couch. And eat it. Without pants on.” I explained slowly.

“No pants pizza.” Monty shrugged. Scott quickly quirked his brow at me. I made no indication of noticing. The warning bell rang so we went our separate ways.

In class, I took my seat next to Alex and Zach. Alex had come around to Monty and I after we all had dinner. Zach was still pretty stand-offish. The Zach issue had been pushed to the side. We had bigger things to worry about recently. And trying to figure out what was going on in Zach Dempsey’s head was always a tossup. The boy was far from an open book. “Hey Addy.” Alex greeted.

“Hey guys.”

“Hey.” My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out to look. It was a reminder about Monty’s physio appointment tomorrow night. He texted me right away. I didn’t forget about this one.

“How are things?” I asked.

“They go.” Zach replied. Why the hell is he so cranky. It’s been two months. Over two. Everyone else has moved on. Why can’t you?

“They’re good. I started working out with Caleb and Tony.”

“That’s great Alex.”

“Yeah. Girls aren’t really that into scrawny guys.”

“That’s not true.”

“Says the girl married to an Adonis.”

“Semantics.” I shrugged.

“You’re a catch Alex.” Zach added.

“Thanks Zach.” His smile seemed a little brighter at the compliment. Huh. That could be interesting. We chatted a little more before class started. We were watching a video in class and our teacher hadn’t come back with the TV yet.

“Hey, did you guys want to get a burger or something from Rosie’s tomorrow night? Monty has physio so it would just be us.”

“I’m always down for some junk food.” Alex laughed.

“Zach?”

“Sure. I mean,” he paused, “I could eat.”

“Great. Say five thirty?”

“Works for me. I can give you a ride Alex.” Zach offered.

After school, I waited for Monty. He had a test in physics and Mr. Brown was still a hardass about people leaving after they were done. He made everyone wait until every test was handed in. That being said, he always gave everyone five extra minutes at the end of class to finish. For daytime classes, he gave the class notes to excuse lates in their next class.

“Hey Casanova.” I called as Monty left.

“Hey Bookworm.” He leaned in to kiss me when he reached me.

“How was your test?”

“It was okay. My brain hurts.” We walked hand in hand to the Jeep. He hadn’t let me drive since he got cleared by Dr. Marcus. I miss driving it.

“Awe. I’m sorry. Can I drive?”

“No. My car. I drive.” Oh. Okay maybe Scott is right. Maybe he is a little cranky. That’s okay.

“Okay.” I smiled. I climbed in the passenger seat and buckled up.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound that harsh.”

“No, I know. It’s okay. I just thought I’d offer since you look drained from that test.”

“I appreciate the offer, really. I’m good though.”

“Okay.” He leaned over and kissed me again before we drove home.

Inside, I grabbed a snack and refilled my water bottle. I grabbed a couple bags of fruit snacks for Monty too. We worked on homework quietly for a couple of hours. Justin called as I was finishing up. “Homework help?” he asked in lieu of a greeting.

“Shoot.”

“The discussion questions from my English class make no sense.”

“What are the questions?”

“What’s going on?” Monty asked me quietly. I pulled the phone away from my ear and covered the mic.

“English discussion questions.”

“I have them here.” He handed me the sheet. I looked over it carefully. I had uncovered the mic while reading.

“These are kind of dumb. Is this what you do in regular English?”

“Yeah.” My boys responded together.

“Huh. At least you get to read fun books. City of Bones is good. Okay then. Uh let me see.”

“The movie was still bad.”

“Shh. I’m helping Justin.” I grinned.

“Sorry.”

“Okay. Valentine’s rebellion.” I thought for a moment and then discussed it with Justin. “If you just write down what I say, your teacher will know you had someone else do it. So, work through it on your own now.”

“Thanks Addy. You’re the best.”

“I know. Night Justin.” After we hung up, I remembered the plans I made with Alex and Zach. “I’m going to Rosie’s with Alex and Zach tomorrow while you’re at physio.”

“Sounds good.”

“Okay.” I grinned at him.

With our homework finished, we spent the rest of the evening cuddling on the couch. There was something Monty wanted to watch on tv. I had lost interest in it pretty quickly, so I got up and grabbed a book. Laying back down on the couch, I rested my head in his lap. He absentmindedly stroked my hair. Scott’s words played over in my mind. I thought about it for a little while but decided a Tuesday evening probably wasn’t the best time to potentially spend all night having sex. We have school in the morning after all. When we were getting ready for bed though, instead of putting a pair of shorts and one of my old gym shirts on, I walked over to Monty’s dresser and pulled out one of his shirts. I swam in it. I changed my underwear. He whistled to himself when he left the bathroom. I smiled to myself. The seed is planted. Monty pulled me a little closer than usual when we got in bed.

I met Zach and Alex at Rosie’s for dinner. I had run home to change first because it was warmer than I expected it to be today. I didn’t feel right going to dinner in my gym shirt, even if it was at the local diner. Since it was quiet, being the middle of the week, our waitress was at our table almost before we sat down. Melinda had been our waitress here since Zach and I were kids. She was a kind old lady. She knew everyone’s orders by heart. As such, we didn’t have to give our drink order. She did let us look at the menu “just for fun”.

“How’re things with you guys?” I asked when our drinks arrived. I took a few sips of my Cherry Coke float and stirred it to mix it up.

“Things are good. The team is looking pretty good this year. School prospects are looking good.” Zach said.

“Monty was saying that they’re shaping up pretty well. And you Alex?”

“Good. Jess and I are friends again. Tony says I’m getting stronger.”

“That’s great Alex.” I smiled.

“How are things with you Addy?”

“They’re good. I’m done with college applications for now.”

“Early admission?” Zach asked.

“Yeah. If I don’t get in anywhere, then I’ll apply for regular admission somewhere.”

Melinda was eyeing us from the counter, so we looked at the menu quickly. We decided to split a couple baskets of fries, some chicken strips, and each get a burger. I got a chicken sandwich. The boys both got cheeseburgers. After our drinks were refilled, we got back to talking. “How’s Monty doing?” Alex asked. Zach’s face pinched slightly. Seriously what the hell is his deal?

“He’s doing okay. Stubborn. But that isn’t a surprise to anyone.”

“Is he ever not stubborn?” Well, sometimes. During sex.

“I don’t think you want to know. And he would have to kill the three of us if I told you.”

“Oh? Are you trying to tell us that he’s fun?” Zach asked.

“He likes to make me smile. So sometimes he does stuff to make that happen. And that’s all you’re getting out of me.”

“And his knee?”

“You know. It’s a process. Some days are better than others. I think it bugs him more than he lets on, but I don’t want to push. Physio is helping and Dr. Marcus says he should be able to do some lower body workouts if things keep progressing well.”

“That’s good. Tell him to stop by practice sometime?”

“I’ll try. I think there’s only so many practices he can go to and just watch.”

“I get that. The invitation is open though.”

“I’ll let him know.”

Our food arrived. The three of us took a break from catching up, to savour the food. “How’s married life?” Alex asked.

“Oh, you know.” The boys looked at me, expectantly. “It’s mostly a lot of asking each other what we want for dinner. Every night. For the rest of our lives.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.” Zach smiled.

“That isn’t. It’s agreeing on something that’s the hard part. I married a guy who would be content eating chicken nuggets and fruit snacks for dinner every night. Trying to get him to eat a vegetable is an almost insurmountable battle.”

“Is it that bad?”

“Can you blame him?” Alex asked.

“It feels like it is sometimes. And not really. But would eating some carrots really hurt him?”

“Yes.” My friends said in unison.

“Boys.” I rolled my eyes and laughed. “It’ll only get worse when we have kids and they’re at eating regular food age. Because they’ll need to be included in the decision.”

“And how can you make them eat vegetables when their dad doesn’t?” Alex laughed.

“Exactly!” I exclaimed, pointing a chicken strip at him. The three of us laughed.

“How are things with you guys… otherwise?” Zach asked, hesitantly.

“They’re,” I paused, “getting better. We’ve talked a lot in the last few weeks. I think we are back on the same page. It’s a work in progress.”

“That’s good. Things seemed pretty….” He didn’t finish his sentence.

“I know. And they were. We are working on it though.”

“It was pretty funny watching him shut Bryce down at lunch.”

“What happened?” Alex asked.

“He played the ‘let me ask my wife’ card.”

“Oof. And I’m guessing that went over Bryce’s head?”

“What do you think?”

“Of course, it did.” He grinned and shook his head.

We talked for another hour or so. Melinda brought us another basket of fries on the house. Around seven, Monty texted me. I grabbed a couple of pints of Haagen Dazs at the store.

Okay. I’ll see you at home. I love you.

I love you too. The three of us called it a night around eight. We bid each other good night and promised to text each other when we got home.

I’m on my way home. Do we need anything else before I get home?

No, I grabbed a couple of things. I’ll get your ice cream out. Drive safe Bookworm.

Okay. Thank you. I will. See you soon Casanova.

[snowdice]

Folds in Paper (Chapter 1: Burnt Rubber Pop-Tarts)[Folds in Time Universe]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Janus/Patton, Remus & Roman, eventual Logan/Virgil (maybe more)

Characters: 

Main: Janus, Patton, Remus

Appear: Remy, Emile, Virgil, Logan, Roman

Summary: Janus, a disillusioned senior agent working for the Time Preservation Initiative, struggles to find meaning in a world where time travel could change everything about your life’s history in less than a moment. When time distortions start popping up, threatening the timeline and the fabric of reality as he knows it, it becomes a race against the clock to fix the damage before everything unravels. And the problem with time travel... you never how long you have before the clock strikes 12 and your time is up.

With a partner who has more mysteries in his past than Janus had anticipated and an enigmatic free agent time traveler mucking about time always with a clever pun or a time appropriate pet name on his lips, Janus will need to figure out what went wrong with time, and more importantly, how to fix it.

Notes: Time travel AU, mystery, enemies to lovers (more to be added)

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

The words in front of him seemed to squirm back and forth across the screen as he watched, despite the fact that he’d bought this screen to prevent that exact thing from happening. The ‘d’s and ‘p’s and ‘b’s seemed to blur together into a sludge of incomprehensible nonsense, just like the voices around him seemed to.

He wasn’t quite sure how long he sat there staring at that report. Time itself seemed almost like the words and the people, it swirled past him in a blur of sounds and colors, but he never could quite grab ahold of it.

Something smacked him in the forehead, and he startled, looking up. “Remus,” Janus sighed. He picked up the projectile that had just been lobbed at him. “Did you steal paper from the 20th century supply again?” he asked, staring at the folded-up piece of white paper in the shape of a crane. It was one of Remus’s favorite designs. “That’s not what it’s for.”

“There’s a message inside!” Remus replied, happily, giving no thought to Janus’s admonishment.

Janus glared at him and carefully unfolded the paper. He squinted at it, and as he’d anticipated, that was way worse than the screen. Maybe the reader was worth his money after all. Or maybe Remus’s handwriting was just horrendous.

He squinted at it for a few moments and then looked back up. He blinked at his surroundings. The note had said ‘Go home. Work ended hours ago.’ and that certainly seemed accurate considering he and Remus were the only people left in the office.

“I still have to finish this report about the New Easter Island mission,” he said to Remus.

“I’ll do it,” Remus offered. “You’ve been working without a break for hours, and I probably owe the agency some time since I took a coffee break to 22nd century France this afternoon.”

“You what?” Janus asked.

”They have the best coffee,” Remus said, and then grinned wolfishly, “and the best guys.”

“Stop doing that stuff,” Janus hissed. “You’re lucky I haven’t reported you already.”

“You wouldn’t,” Remus said, very sure of himself. “You like me too much. Plus, without me, you’ll forget to go home and sleep every night. So, it’d be a loose-loose. Now up! It’s time for you to go home.”

Janus sighed and stood. “Fine,” he said. “I’m going, but that report better be done like you said, or I will report you for your coffee excursions.”

“Sure, you will,” Remus said. “Now shoo.”

Janus spared him one more glare before standing from his desk and waving his hand through the air. The machine at his wrist buzzed softly and the display screen lit up around him. He jabbed a finger at the last of the three pre-set locations and, with a feeling like he’d just stepped into a pool of softened butter, he was home.

He groaned and fell back onto his couch immediately. “Time?” he asked.

“1:57am,” a soft voice said from his ceiling. He groaned. Considering the agency liked to keep their schedules aligned even though his house sat almost 2 millennia before the agency even existed, he’d have to be up in 4 hours to head back to work. They said it was to ‘stop them from experiencing time jet lag’ and ‘maintain their circadian rhythm,’ but with Janus it usually just ended up with him ‘not getting enough sleep’ and ‘suffering greatly.’

Sure, he had been fine with it, encouraged the policy even, when the agency was created, but that had been before he’d had to live it.

His stomach suddenly grumbled, reminding him that he hadn’t eaten since before the mission he’d been on earlier that day. He was exhausted, but he also knew trying to go to bed this hungry would result in him not being able to sleep at all. He dragged himself to his feet and onto one of the barstools at the kitchen island. He didn’t want to wait for the auto cook feature to cook him something and he especially didn’t want to cook something himself, so he pressed a few buttons on the side of the counter and a protein infused, still cold pop-tart popped out of the table.

He thought it might be a Hot Fudge Sunday one, but he honestly couldn’t tell. The protein infusion made all of them taste rather horrible. For all he knew, it was one of the Burnt Rubber flavored ones Remus had once snuck into his pantry. To be fair, he hadn’t even noticed until he’d went to go stock his pantry and realized that there was half a box of those things. It was just another example of Remus using time travel for things he shouldn’t. They were a year 2513 delicacy.

The 2510s were an odd set of years.

He chewed on the possibly chocolate, possibly rubber flavored pastry and glanced out of the window. Though it was dark, one could still see the water of the man-made lake his home sat on thanks to the floating lights that hovered above it. Each agent working for the TPI received a home and alternate identity in a time and location of their choice. (Within reason, that is. Remus’s request to live among the dinosaurs was quickly denied and new rules were put into place immediately after.) Janus had chosen the late 24th century with a moderately sized home on Lake BlueBox. He didn’t have many close neighbors, but the ones he did know thought he was an accountant who went by the name of Declan Banks.

No, he had not chosen the last name. Yes, everyone got those types of names. The people at the Agent Management Office had a sense of humor or were just not creative. Janus only knew one employee in the AMO and he’d been avoiding him for the past three years as much as possible. Cowardly, maybe, but he knew if he gave the man too much information about his general lifestyle, he’d be dragged into the AMO to talk about his mental state and feelings, and honestly, that would make everything worse.

As soon as he finished the pop-tart, a glass of water popped up from the table making him jump despite the fact that he had been the one to set it to do that automatically years ago. He downed half of the water and picked up the glass to take it to his bedroom. He should probably clean himself off before bed, but he couldn’t be bothered today, and just stripped off his uniform and collapsed into bed in his underwear. The morning was going to come far too soon, he knew. Yet, his mind would not quiet. His brain kept filling out the report he trusted (well, hoped he could trust) Remus had already finished by now.

He eventually groaned and rolled over in bed. “Play something,” he requested. The screen by the side of his bed lit up.

“Randomizing the ‘Something’ video playlist,” the soft voice said from the ceiling.

A dance recital which he knew had been recorded in 2033 started playing. The images moved on the screen in front of him, but the sound drifted from all around him. He let his eyes linger over the way the dancers’ bodies moved as the sounds washed over him. The image of elegantly twisting limbs remained in his head long after his eyelids drifted shut and he finally fell asleep.

Want to read more? Click below!

AO3 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

[m0onbean]

tutoring & loving

genre: enemies to lovers!AU, tutor!reader, popular boy!eunwoo, high school!AU, JEALOUSYYYYYYYY, flooooooof!!! angst but it’s okay because angst is wonderful, basically most of my favorite AU’s combined in one

warnings: jealous eunwoo and this AU is much more in depth than the others ones

words: 2.8k 

note: this is an old draft that has been sitting in my notes so i thought i would post!! enjoy and I HOPE  EUNWOO IS CASTED FOR TRUE BEAUTY!!!

as one of the top students in class, all of your teachers absolutely ADORE YOU

school is pretty smooth for you: you study well, pass tests, socialize with friends....... except for one little threat that makes your life so much more difficult... 

Cha Eunwoo.

not only is he one of the most popular boys in your grade, but unfortunately he’s also your seat partner for English and he’s the most annoying person you have ever met

you haven’t given him a reason to disrespect you!! ... okay maybe sometimes when you see him and his group of friends being loud in the hallways you shoot an icy glare....... ok and MAYBE you roll your eyes everytime he says smth dumb in the middle of class

but other than that??? completely innocent you are. but this man doesn’t seem to agree, as he seems to have made his life goal to ANNOY THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. 

foe ex. you would be peacefully paying attention in class when suddenly you feel something kick your foot 

and when you look up, you see eunwoo “paying attention” to the board and feigning innocence

but you immediately know that he’s just trying to aggravate you because when has this man ever actually paid attention in class??

so you go back to listening when you feel ANOTHER kick and you’re like BITCHoh hell no so you kick him back bc we’re not all perfect human beings let’s be honest

and now y’all are kicking each other back and forth, and everyone can hear the desks shuffling underneath them

he also makes snarky marks constantly when you literally just breathed???

like you would sit down at your seat and he’d be like “Congrats, you’ve somehow managed to choose the ugliest outfit in the world to wear today”

and you respond, “It’s about time i have a turn, you’re wearing the ugliest outfit everyday” and then you just glare at each other until the teacher tells you two to snap out of it

on some days eunwoo will just flat out point out one of your flaws like if your hair is messy or if there’s a stain on your shirt

so one day your English teacher asks to see you after class and you’re like Oh he’s just gonna offer me extra credit ... but instead of doing that he asks right off the bat, “i have another student that needs tutoring, are you willing to take one more?”

for the past month, you’ve already been tutoring a few students your teacher recommends to you. it’s easy money, especially since you’re saving up for college 

only this time, you can tell he’s desperate because he’s like “Please (y/n) he’s failing in English and misbehaving in class you’re my only hope!!”

and now you’re like Hawld on..... Why Is He Being So Desperate About This.... like you’re cool with tutoring..... what makes this-

the realization strikes across your face. 

who in this school would you would hate teaching??? who is failing in English??? WHO IS THE BANE OF YOUR EXISTENCE. look to: c. e. w.

 “ofdjoaaja i’ll give you gummy bears or something” he pleads. and honestly, if you were not so broke, you would’ve spat on his feet and walked out the door. but you need the cash, and you sure do like gummy bears.......

you gracefully relinquish, and your teacher gives you a proud smile. he then goes on to tell you that his mom requested extra help smh why couldn’t she have just hired a tutor i hate rich people.. anyways so yeah pls Help me

so the next day @ school you approach your seat and you see eunwoo sitting on his desk, talking to his friends until he notices you.. and he’s about to open his mouth to probs criticize your untied shoelaces but you interrupt him and are like:

“eunwoo i’m privately tutoring you starting today. Meet at the library after school.”

and he’s just sitting there, jaw dropping to the floor and you’re like :) He’s finally quiet for once... 

but little did you know that during class he’d be pestering you with complaints like:“why you??? is there anyone else that can do it???” “i don’t need tutoring.. i’m getting consistent D’s... not a singular F and it ain’t much but it’s honest work” 

at a certain point, you get so sick of his complaints and go like “your mom asked for you to be tutored!!! OK i didn’t just ask to tutor you, you dumbfuck.”

and once you mention his mom he just kinda shuts up... and stares at his desk for the rest of the period

ou notice this and recall the teacher telling you that eunwoo’s mom is a tiger mom... you keep this in mind because now you know that making his mom proud might be his motivation

after school, you wait at the library for him inside.. but a couple minutes pass and you’re like ? did he forget ? .  

and eventually an hour passes and you’re like nope he’s definitely ditching

and honestly,,, you feel a little betrayed and a little hurt ... but just when you’re about to leave you see him panting and making his way to your table nd you’re like ???????and eunwoo’s like “im so sorry i forgot...”

and you’re like oh? so you didn’t ditch? 

and he’s like No!! i just ... forgot. 

and you’re like well you little shit don’t forget next time i’ve been sitting here for an hour..but then he reaches something from his pocket and hands it to you and it’s a triangle sushi (it’s super crumbled too...) 

and he’s like “i got this to make it up” and you’re like flustered and just weirdly but pleasantly surprised he feels this bad about almost flaking

but you catch yourself slipping and go back to your annoyed tone: ���uh-What the fuck are you on?? I-Wh-I’m not hungry. T-thanks tho.”

the first tutoring session is... awful to say the least. 

he couldn’t pay attention well and continuously complained and even tried to go off topic

like you’d be asking him what foreshadowing meant and then he’d be like “so.. where’s your family from (y/n)?” 33r*#$&(@$

after an hour of no progress you get frustrated and shut the textbook, about to call it a day

but just when you stand up eunwoo grabs your wrist 

and he’s like “where do you think you’re going?” you scoff and reply with “why do you care? it’s not like you want to be tutored right? well i don’t want to tutor anymore”

when you try to budge, you feel his hand still firmly gripping onto your wrist and you’re like “let go of me” until you realize he’s staring at you dead in the eyes

and in a quiet voice he sadly says “please don’t give up on me... i’m trying my best.” 

it looks like he’s about to tear up and that’s when you realize that you need to be patient for him... and need to help him because he’s trying to make his mom proud. 

when you sit down again, he gets a bit startled that you gave in so easily but regardless, a relieved smile spreads across his face. 

instead of going back to teaching, you conclude that you two should “break the ice” first so tutoring wouldn’t be you two just glaring at eachother

“breaking the ice” turns into a two hour conversation about random things or anything that comes into mind. 

eunwoo is really good at conversing and he’s good at filling in the awkward pauses and bringing up new topics!!

next thing you know the librarian is trying to shoo you guys outside since the library already closed fodjsoakal

when you get back home, there’s a stupid smile on your face and you’re like SHIT why am i smiling? why can’t i stop smiling???? get yourself together youRe just helping him you still think he’s annoying!!! ..but he has a breathtaking laugh... NO he’s still that annoying guy i hate

the rest of the tutoring sessions aren’t as bad at you thought.. eunwoo is actually pretty smart he just has the attention span of a toddler honestly.

you could be trying to read him an excerpt from The Great Gatsby and when it’s his turn to read.. it’s absolutely silent and when you look up like ??? 

you see him staring at you and you’re like “eunwoo.. it’s ur turn” and he’d be snapped out of his trance and be like OH! and ask you where you left off

and inside you’d be like.. was he.. staring at me?? (he actually was. you just looked so pretty reading out loud with such emotion)

after a couple of more classes with him, he starts immensely improving in class. he doesn’t really bother you anymore, but he stills throws some playful remarks at times. 

tutoring sessions seem to be effective, and you learn that he actually has a really.. really great personality

one day, you’re approaching your seat in English and are about to roast eunwoo as your daily routine when you almost bump into somebody

but thank god you have great reflexes so you managed to stop yourself... and when you look up you see a handsome face and you’re like. Oh.and he’s like smiling sheepishly and is like “sorry! i’m clumsy hehe” and you’re like Oh.. he’s cute

you smile back and insist it’s fine.. and now you’re both still standing there smiling at eachother because he’s like eye candy

he manages to introduce himself as Moonbin and you’re like I’m (y/n)!! and then his face transforms into recognition and he’s like “oh! you’re eunwoo’s tutor aren’t you?” 

and you’re like “Oh?? yeah how’d you know?”and he’s like “Ah.. i’m good friends with him. i heard your tutoring sessions are really helpful though. you’re super smart”

and on the outside you’re like :3 m-Me????!??! <3

what you actually say: ah, thank you. 

then he’s like “do you mind if you tutor me too?? i’m kind of struggling in English as well” and you’re like “oh sure!” it’s raining money girl

the bell starts ringing and he waves goodbye 

 you go to your seat with a wide smile, and when you sit down, you don’t notice that eunwoo is glaring at you 

so when you look at him with a smile on your face, he gets even more glary. 

you quickly wipe the smile off and are like “oh it’s you.”

but instead of insulting you back he’s like “why were you talking to Moobin?” and youre ???? “why CAN’T i talk to Moonbin? he was asking me to tutor him.”

when he hears that, he clenches his fists under the desk and is like.. “did you accept his offer?”

and you’re confusedly like “yes.. why would i reject him?”

not one to handle complicated feelings well, eunwoo just stands up, his chair loudly screeching against the floor. 

he wants to tell you that he doesn’t want Moonbin to watch you read lines from poetry so dramatically, smile whenever he makes a joke, text him reminders to study before he goes to sleep. 

but when you’re looking at him with such bewilderment in your beautiful eyes, your facial features frozen as you wait for his next move, he feels disgusting for having these feelings towards you. you’d probably be happier with Moonbin, who doesn’t have these nasty problems you’d be burdened with.

but before you can even properly react, he’s leaving the classroom and you look around, grateful that nobody was watching. 

and you don’t know how it happens.. but your feet control themselves and now you’re running after him, not caring about class starting already

and as you’re sprinting, so many scattered thoughts run through your mind. eunwoo.. jealous? does he like you? and even though you thought you were interested in eunwoo... there’s something about eunwoo you can’t let go about.and there’s no way you’re going to lose him.

so when you finally catch up to him you grab him by the arm and turn him around so he’s facing you... you hug him tightly.

and the crawling feeling that’s been stirring in eunwoo’s stomach suddenly dissipates

and bc you know that nothing will be the same after this, why don’t you just end it off strong? so you confess

you quietly tell him that you’re new to this... relationships have always been a new territory for you. liking somebody is new for you. “please don’t run off and let go of me either... i’m trying my best, too”

and he wants to push you off of him, tell you what’s best for you, and go back to being the annoying shit he once was. but your hug feels so nice and.. well.. maybe eunwoo can be selfish once in a while.  

falling in love with eunwoo is a gradual but addictive progress. when people describe falling in love, they would describe it as fireworks... exciting but risky. you would pretty much say the same but.. it’s so much more than just that.

it’s feeling tingly and funny when he randomly holds your hand or shows affection. it’s feeling enormously upset when you’re not around him or when you see him talking to somebody attractive. it’s feeling empty when he cuddles you because you want this to last forever, but you’re scared because you know it won’t.

you tell him this as you two are nestled on his couch, blankets jumbled across and TV playing some cooking show neither of you care about

he laughs and kisses your forehead which makes you feel that stupid tingly feeling again. 

“are you confessing that you’re in love with me (y/n)?” before you can try to smack him, he says “i love you too.”and with that.. you quietly respond “i love you...” 

and it feels so refreshing voicing that out loud.

eunwoo as a boyfriend would be the most blood rushing and adrenaline pumping feeling there is. he’s filled with so much energy that it’s never not fun around him

he would sneak you into carnivals, and take you on the ferris wheel where you two would probably makeout in the passenger car scksksoao

he’d also try to win you prizes at the arcade but.. he’s just so bad at playing it and either A) you end up playing and winning him a prize or B) he bribes the arcade owner to give him the prize

lots of PDA. lotssss of them. 

sitting next to eunwoo in English is a struggle now.. he’s always distracting you from the teacher. 

like you’d be taking notes but then you’d feel his head on your shoulder and now he’s straight up cuddling you in class

eunwoo always encourages you to have more fun 

“you’re always locked up in your room, studying.”

thus, he likes to knock on your door and enter the house with your parents’ delightful approval (because your parents love him. so much.) and go in your room and shower you with kisses while telling you that it’s time to stop studying because you’ve been reading the same chapter over and over again

your texts to each other would be littered with emojis that don’t even relate to the message. like you’d text “i stopped studying. are you proud of me 💃👒🐟🥐”and he’d reply with “of course my sunshine 🍣🎧🔑”

you still tutor him but your tutor sessions are a lot more longer now since they take place at either of your houses instead of the library LMAO. 

+ after tutoring him, you two would just cuddle and raid your fridges

when you meet moonbin again, eunwoo gets a little jealous again since he thinks that moonbin has a chance of snatching you 

but after kissing him and assuring him that you’ll never be “snatched”, he feels so relieved

eunwoo relishes all of the affection you give him. and he always gives you twice as much :’)

one day the same English teacher asks to see you after class and you’re like “is there something you need?”and he’s like “.... ok so tell me how y’all went from kicking eachother to cuddling together in class 🤔🤔”

and you’re like “.. BYE I THINK I HEARD SOMEBODY CALLING ME”

the doors were closed... nobody heard anything... 

when you ask eunwoo why he hated you so much in the beginning, he tells you that he was just jealous of you. jealous of how flawless you did in academics and how you’re such a bright student + your glares were “extremely unnecessary” 

he also tells you that his older brother is already a doctor and has been so successful in everything so his mom always pressures him and compares them

and you’re like weaving your fingers together while telling him “don’t compare yourself. he is him and you are you.” 

and you pause.. and say “and i love you this way. i’m proud of you”

and eunwoo just immediately breaks down right there because nobody ever tells him that.. nobody is ever proud of him

falling in love with one of your enemies was definitely one of the best things that’s ever happened to you :)

[vergilthelibrarian]

Second part to whatever this is. I don’t know what to name this story but enjoy ^^

Yandere!MarkLeexMale!reader

CW: A dead body appears and also limbs gets cut off

Moaning, you moved your head around, your eyes slowly blinking open, being met with an orange light.

You hissed as you slowly sat up, your right hand in pain as you used your hands to moved yourself, your back leaning against the headboard of the bed you were on.

Looking around the room, you wondered were you where.

Your ears perked up as you heard footsteps and soon the door to the room opened.

Your eyes widen in fear and you grabbed your patched up right hand, remembering what the young man who had now just entered the room did to you.

“What do you want?” you asked afraid and he sighed.

“Isn’t it obvious? It’s you.” he said after he closed the door, putting his hands in his pockets.

Tears began forming in your eyes and soon you started softly sobbing, putting your head in your hands.

You soon felt weight on the bed and a hand rub your back.

You move away from the man who frowned but quickly changed his features to a blank look.

“Please don’t cry. I hate seeing you cry…”

“Then let me go.”

He quickly shook his head.

“No. This is your home now.” his thumb caressed your cheek and you tried to push his hand away and immediately felt a strong grip on your chin and you were forced to look at the man who didn’t look so pleased.

He was silent for a moment and you stopped crying, fear causing your body to shake, whimpering from the tight grip.

The look in his eyes was murderous.

It was something you’ve never seen before and it truly scared you.

His head titled, his breathing shallow as he stared at you.

“You look so beautiful this way...” he breathed out, finally breaking the silence.

Then he blinked a couple of times, shaking his head, falling out of the trance he was in.

“I’m… sorry.” he said, letting go of your chin. “I made breakfast. You should come down to eat before it gets cold.” he said before getting up and exiting the room.

Once you thought he was far enough that he couldn’t hear you, you began crying once more.

~~

Mark shook his head as he leaned back in the couch, his hands covering his face.

Ever since he saw you that fateful day when you walked into his class, he honestly hasn’t been the same since.

You were the new kid and was rather shy just like him but unlike him, you weren’t as awkward and quickly you gained a group of friends.

He would always watch you as you went about your day, wishing he was your friend.

That’s the thing.

Mark just wished he was your friend, nothing more but soon he started developing a crush on you which soon developed into him falling in love with the image he had of you.

He knew how dumb it was, that he was in love with you despite not knowing who you were but that didn’t stop his heart from pounding when your eyes met with his and you smiled brightly, giving him a small wave.

Back then though, he wasn’t stalking you. That started happening once y’all graduated and you ran off to the big city for college while he stayed back to work at his father’s church.

He was pretty sad when you left, crying randomly whenever he thought about you, causing his friends and family to worry about him.

He didn’t tell anyone why he was so depressed, deciding to keep it all to himself. Not even talking about it during confessions.

Mark genuinely didn’t mean to stalk you. He was only curious about how you were doing.

That’s all.

He found you on twitter through a mutual friend and started following you.

You were in your 2nd year of uni, going to school for English. All you did was tweet memes and political causes you were passionate about but there were also times where you would tweet about personal issues you were going through.

That’s how he learned about your family issues, the mental illnesses you had, how lonely and heart broken you were.

Learning about your parents homophobia against you made him so angry. You always looked so happy during high school. Always laughing and having a smile on your face.

But your parents treated you like shit all because you were gay and he understood why you ran off as fast as you did when you two graduated from high school.

Honestly, he wanted to kill your parents as a way to help you feel better but he didn’t know how he could live with himself from taken someone’s life.

Murder was a sin… but he’d do anything to protect you and make you happy.

Anything.

“What’s wrong with me?” Mark wondered out loud.

~~

You grimaced as your stomach growled.

You were so hungry but you didn’t want to see him.

He scared you and it wasn’t just because of him kidnapping you.

That look in his eyes was so… so dark.

To you, it looked as if he wanted to kill you and if looks could kill, you would’ve been dead from the way he was staring you down.

You grabbed you right hand, rubbing the top of it, your head wiping to the door as you heard it open.

The young man walked in with a bowl in his hand.

“You’ve been in here all day. You must be starving.” he said, sitting down on the bed and handing you the bowl.

You looked at the bowl.

It was ramen and you licked your lips.

The man chuckled.

“I didn’t poison your food or anything if that’s what your thinking. I know your hungry.” a small smile was on his lips.

You picked up the chopsticks and began eating the noddles.

As you ate, he cleared his throat.

“So um like I know your name but you don’t know mines. My name’s Mark Lee.” he said and you glanced up at him for a bit before your attention when back to your food.

Mark silently sat on your bed as you ate, watching you slurp the noodles.

You felt nervous because his eyes never left your figure.

Once you were done eating, you heard Mark say, “I’ll take that.” he grabbed the bowl.

He looked at you as you stared down at the sheets of the bed.

He got up from the bed and leaned down, kissing the top of your head.

“You should get ready for bed. I’ll bring you some clothes and a towel.” and soon he left the room.

As Mark got you some clothes and toiletries, he couldn’t help but think back to your tear stained face.

Though he hated seeing you sad, there was something about the fear in your eyes that he loved.

Honestly, it turned him on seeing you so helpless and docile like that.

He clenched his fist.

No.

He shouldn’t think that way about you.

He was suppose to care and protect you, not hurt you… but still, there was a side of him that wanted to be the only one to not just give you pleasure but pain as well.

As he walked back to the room he held you in, Mark sighed before opening the door.

You looked at him as he gave you the things you needed for your shower.

“Here. I’ll show you where the bathroom is.”

~~

It’s been half a year since you’ve been with Mark and you wanted to escape so badly.

He was sweet at first. Awkward but very considerate.

But soon he started becoming touching, his hands and lips lingering on your cheek or neck or thigh.

Sometimes he would just stare at you, that dark, murderous look on his face.

Mark was becoming more and more unstable and you desperately wanted to leave.

He would also talk to you about his faith, crying, mostly about how he was going to hell for what he has done because apparently, hes done something so sinful that God would never forgive him.

You wondered what exactly it was that he has done that was so unforgivable because obviously, he wasn’t talking about kidnapping you.

One day, you tried to ask him but he gave you a stern look, pretty much telling you to drop the topic and you did, never bringing it up again… until now that is.

While Mark was away, curiosity overtook you and you went into his bedroom. You began looking through his stuff, looking around and soon found yourself in front of his closet.

You opened it, being met with clothes. Moving it aside, you saw a huge trunk and wondered what secrets were in it.

Opening the trunk, your face twisting in disgust as a rotting smell hit your nose.

There was brown leather inside of the trunk and it looked as though it was sewn up with something inside it.

Though one half of you was yelling at you to shut the damn thing and leave Mark’s room, the other half grew even more curious, wondering what exactly was in there.

Running out of the room, you grabbed some scissors and come back.

You ripped the leather sheet opened, the rotting smile growing stronger.

You ripped the leather wide enough only to scream, falling back onto your butt as you finally saw what was the cause of the smell.

A rotting corpse was bunch in the fetal position.

Your body shook, your hands pulling at your hair, your eyes wide.

So this was way Mark believed he was going to hell.

You didn’t hear the door to the apartment close as Mark walked in, cursing to himself as he smelled the air of the house.

He ran to his room and saw you on the floor having a panic attack.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!” he yelled angrily at you, grabbing you off of the floor, shaking you.

“I-I-I didn’t I didn’t-” you were a stuttering mess. You were so afraid at what he was going to do to you. You’ve never seen him this angry before.

Mark slammed you against the wall, his hands tightly pinning your arms to your side.

“You know you’re not allowed to come in my room...” he said lowly, the murderous glint in his eyes.

“I-I-I I’m so sorry Mark. I-I didn’t meant to-”

“Bullshit!” he sneered.

He looked at the trunk then back at you.

“Since you disobeyed me, you need to be punished.” he threw you to the floor.

“Stay here.” he said before walking off.

You sat up, shaking in fear as you waited for him to come back.

So many thoughts were running through your head.

What was he gonna do to you?

Who was that in the trunk?

How long has that body been in there?

Your thoughts were interrupted as Mark walked back into the room, a big ax in hand.

Your eyes widen and you began to back up, your back hitting the wall.

“P-please! Mark please! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to-” “Shut it!” he yelled.

Tears began falling down your face and Mark breathed out a shaky breath at your appearance.

He loved seeing you so afraid.

He moved closer to you, towering over your body.

“As punishment, I’m cutting your legs off. So lay down and don’t move.”

“Mark please...” you begged but he stared at you with a stone cold gaze.

“Lay down. Don’t make me repeat myself.”

You shook as you did what he said, praying to whatever God that existed that someone will save you or for your existence to at least end.

“Just know that I’m doing this because I love you.” he said before lifting the ax, slicing your left leg above its knee.

You screamed loudly soon passing out from the pain.

[the-last-cuddlebender]

I wish you would write a fic where Aang and or Katara dies

*inhale* I knew this day would come. (I have -32% skill at writing character deaths because I am soft and squishy, but I tried...and I reluctantly appreciate the practice, especially since this got a lot longer than a fic request lmao🙃) BUT SERIOUSLY, ANON, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME—?!

Katara was an ocean reduced to a puddle, and Aang held her close like she might drift away.

His hug was warm, his arms were home, and the soft coo that spoke her name almost made her believe that everything was going to be okay...

Rating: T

Words: 3,300 (AO3)

*****************************************

Dozens of cracks tore open the cave floor like a dried log being snapped in half. The continent itself was being torn asunder, but the world falling apart wasn’t what filled Katara from toe to brim with frozen static.

The look on Aang’s face made it harder to breathe. He held her still with that unfamiliar but familiar smile of his that brought down her every defense. He cradled her face as she caught her breath and recovered from the sprint for their lives.

His voice was a gentle coo that was forever concerned, but his words were distant and fuzzy like he was speaking to her through water.

“—can, Katara. I—”

The tunnel threatened to collapse again, and Katara braced herself to the wall and coughed on the dust that greeted her stinging lungs.

“—be right behind you. Look at me. I promise. I’ll be right behind you, okay? I promise.”

Aang kissed her brow for a second too long. It didn’t feel right. He didn’t look right. He didn’t sound right.

Katara was almost too weak to speak, so her concern bled into small touches and little tugs to pull him closer. The Uprisers were not known for being kind to their captives, and Katara had been no exception. The drugs they forced down her throat were thick and sour like rancid syrup; her bending was numb and kept just beyond her ball and chain, and the living hum thrumming just beneath her skin refused to give up control of her body.

Aang, however, looked as horrible as she felt. She tried not to think about what he had to fight through to rescue her from the compound.

Aang had never struggled to breathe before. He was an airbender. The scratchy sounds from his every pant were crimes against nature.

“Aang—”

“I promise.” Aang stepped closer like he was giving himself as a gift—No, no, not a gift, something worse. His presence was warm like something safe and soothing, and it radiated in the air between them...but his winds were wilting.

Aang’s smile got a little bigger. He stroked her face again. “I’ll be right behind you. I promise. Have I ever broken a promise?”

The mountain groaned and warped beneath them like the rolling shoulders of some large beast. The imaginations of their children’s cries were in Katara’s ears, now; the force of them nearly jerked her off her feet.

Aang said something else—something reassuring that began with a soft promise and ended with a gentle whisper of her name.

The hairs on Katara’s nape stood on end, and her stomach flipped into everywhere it shouldn’t be.

Aang’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. It didn’t spark any color, either; it was just enough to dress his face in a grin. 

His smile—damn that spiritsdamned smile—

His little laugh was a sledgehammer driving into her gut, his brushing touches were claws sinking into her heart, and the little shadow in his eyes—terrified and so sad that Katara nearly cried for him—was a beast threatening to rip her apart. 

He...He wouldn’t...

Heat crawled into her face, warmth slid down her cheeks, and Aang’s unspoken words were daggers twisting into open wounds and bleeding her out.

...He couldn’t.

The whole continent shook with a mighty roar. Aang stiffened and failed to pretend to ignore it. He looked at her like he was looking through her, into her—flipping through the pages of her soul and signing them so his presence there wouldn’t be forgotten.

He couldn’t—He promised—

His image blurred. “No…” Katara’s first tears raced down her face like they might be able to stop him if only they hit the ground fast enough. “N-No...No, I am not—Dammit, Aang, I am not leaving here without you!”

Aang’s smile was a tranquilizer, and it was made all the more potent when he claimed the space between them again. Katara fisted his robes; it took her a few fumbling tries—like her fingers were stiffened from frostbite—, but her shaking hands eventually found purchase.

His hands caught her face before she could hide under his chin. “Leaving me?” He said it so casually that Katara would have smacked him if she could move. “Who said you were leaving me? You’re not leaving me. I’m just giving you a head start. I’ll catch up with you.”

“Aang, please. We have to go home. You—You know how Tenzin gets when it storms like this. He and Bumi and Kya need you so…so we have to go home...please.”

Aang’s smile got a little bigger. His eyes got a little wetter. The press of his brow to hers was as gentle as he always was and like how he always made her feel.

He exhaled—the sound was familiar; the air was, too—, but this breath left him like it did in her nightmares after those days when someone walked into her clinic and didn’t walk out.

“...Tell them that I love them?”

Katara’s chest caved in like it was made of glass. Everything flushed too hot and too cold all at once. Her head was fuzzy and filled with cotton.

Aang had the audacity to smile a little more—lopsided on the left side with the shadow of a dimple that never did choose whether or not to call his face its home—and wipe his thumbs under her eyes like he could wipe away her broken heart just as easily.

Katara’s voice was watery and taut like a cable about to snap. “I’m not telling them shit.” She glared hellfire at his stupid face even as she leaned into his touch and drank the safety he cloaked her with. “You’ll tell them yourself once we get home. They’re probably hungry since it’s close to their bedtime and—”

“Katara…”

“No! We are going home—both of us—and y-you can tell them yourself! We are going to regroup and try again, but right now we are going home—!”

She tugged him, but he didn’t move. Her buckling knees nearly took her out, and some hidden part of her ripped in half and bled poison—sharp and twice as toxic as the Uprisers’ drugs—into everything that she was.

Aang’s eyes misted over like the boulders on Ember Island that sat in the sand and surf and bore a perpetual glaze from the ocean throwing itself against them.

He could not have begged her any harder if he was on his knees.

“Katara…”

No. No. She wouldn’t—she couldn’t...

Katara sucked air on her next inhale as her throat threatened to close.

She yelled at him. She screamed at him. The mountain shook some more, Aang grew all the more concerned, and the look on his face and the sag of his shoulders—defeated—made her weep all the harder.

“—expect me to care for you so little that I would leave you behind! How could you ever—how could you ever j-just expect me to—!”

He let her tire herself out. Typical airbender tactic. Her body, the drugs, and her exhaustion fought her on his behalf, and her shaking fists beat his chest in little more than muted pats.

Aang slipped past her defenses, held her face in a way that compelled her to lean into his palms, and showered her with chaste kisses that lasted for seconds at a time. Each one lasted longer and pressed deeper than the one before like he was guiding her into warm water. They were simple, they were welcoming, and they were perfect.

He tamed her like it was the most natural thing in the world, and, when he mumbled sweet words into his every kiss, she shuddered like something dead about to be blown into dust.

Katara was an ocean reduced to a puddle, and Aang held her close like she might drift away.

His hug was warm, his arms were home, and the soft coo that spoke her name almost made her believe that everything was going to be okay.

Katara choked on her next breath and buried the wet sound in the singed tatters of robes resting over his heart.

“P-Please, Aang…Please...”

Aang hugged her tighter to keep her from falling apart. “...I love you.”

Katara trembled, but the small kiss to her cheek caught the pieces of her shattered heart, and the hum of his voice calmed her storm like he was shepherding it back home. Katara’s legs buckled. She almost smiled, damn it all. She hugged his neck and rushed to tell him how much she loved him and how much she needed him to come home.

He promised. He promised.

Aang kneeled and guided Katara to her knees like he knew better than she did that she would fall flat the second he was gone. Katara scrambled to hold onto him; she clawed his back and prayed that her fingers would not be numb for long enough to keep him there.

“No, no, no, no, no, Aang, please, no, please—”

“I love you...I love you...I love you…” He kissed her some more and rubbed her back. “It’s okay, Katara.”

Katara shook her head. “N-No…’s not okay. It’s not. Aang, I don’t...I can’t…” She pressed her face to his. It was the only part of her she could move. “My…’m husband ‘nd I need you and...a-and…”

She was scared. She was so, so scared. His arms were the safest place in the world, and she needed him. She loved him. He was her husband. He was the father of their children. He was her full moon when she was at her weakest, and he was the man she was going to spend every boring, exciting, sad, happy moment of her life with.

“You...You promised...You promised, Aang…You promised…”

Aang’s hand was ghostly as it trailed up and down her back. His touch was a key and she was his safe, and he unlocked the tension out of every part of her so she could barely muster the control to hold onto him. His next kiss was longer than the rest. The hug he tugged her into was so safe that it almost tricked her into thinking that he was leaving for only a little while.

“I did promise. And I am promising.” She felt his smile when he kissed her neck and talked right into her ear. “I’ll be right behind you, okay? Just keep walking east, and Appa will find you. Keep your eyes ahead of you. You can get lost if you look back.”

Katara hesitated, frozen, for a second that lasted an eternity.

...She didn’t want to say goodbye. 

“Don’t...Don’t go…Please, don’t go. I’m begging you, Aang, please…” She fought the numbness trapping her within the cage of her body, but her efforts to hold him tighter did nothing but make her arms shake. “I love you...I love you so much, and I can’t...P-Please don’t go…”

Aang pulled away; Katara flinched like a bandage was being torn off and scrambled to keep him close, but she might as well have tried finding purchase on wet glass. 

He cupped the curve of her jaw, and his fingers wove into the stray hairs that curled under her ear. She leaned into him. She didn’t bother trying to hide her desperation. Her next plea was the whine of a dying machine, and her shaking hand held his wrist to brand his warmth into her. She closed her eyes and prayed to be anywhere else.

She could tell him how much she loved him until the universe itself buckled and collapsed and still not have said how much her heart bled for him.

He was the daydream that made all of her nightmares worth it.

...He was her best friend.

Defeated grey eyes like ashes left in the wake of a fire looked at her like he was seeing her for the first time.

Then he smiled. And Katara’s heart went to war.

Because the way he looked at her made everything bright and warm and perfect even though his eyes were kissing her goodbye.

“I’ll be right behind you, Katara,” he said. His quiet voice—always gentle and forever concerned—was strong and reassuring, but he swallowed so heavily that she saw his throat bob. His touched his forehead to hers and drowned her in all things safe and familiar and home. “I promise.”

Katara made a sound like a whimper. Her world turned crooked, and her grip on his robes was the only thing keeping her above water.

He was supposed to teach Bumi how to fly a skybison. He was supposed to help Sokka prank Toph the day after next for her birthday. He was supposed to teach Tenzin how to airbend. He was supposed to teach Kya how to dance so she wouldn’t be so nervous in front of other people.

He promised—He promised...

Aang kissed both her cheeks and twice between her eyes.

“I love you.”

And then...nothing.

The warmth was gone—just a gust of air in his wake. He didn’t let her see him leave.

There was a wall where he once was, sealing the cave shut.

Katara was suddenly drowning, and she fought to find her air. “No!” She dragged herself forward and fell flat twice before touching the cold barrier. She shook like a building about to collapse. She clawed the stone as she spiraled into something worse than darkness. “No! Aang, you promised!” Her numb limbs got a little number, and her soul burned like it was peeled raw. She screamed so loud that it threatened to make her throat bleed. “Aang, you promised! Aang, please! Please! Aang, you promised!”

The mountain growled and threatened to crush her, but Katara yelled at it, too. She yelled at the Spirits and the Avatars and her stupid, stupid best friend.

The sounds from beyond and below the stone wall would haunt her forever. Katara clawed the door he had slammed in her face even though she could just barely find the strength to keep conscious.

He promised. He promised, damn it all. He promised—

Sokka and Suki found Katara mere minutes before the mountain collapsed. Her fingers were bloody. Her voice was gone. She was crying more than breathing.

Sokka cursed as he dragged her, weakly kicking and mutely screaming, out of the cave while Suki tried to keep Appa still. 

Katara scrambled and fought—frantic—but her world was spinning out of control. She couldn’t muster more than a desperate squirm and a heartbroken whine that Suki had to look away from.

“Let me go! He promised!” Katara screamed, but her voice was a leaky stream of air from a broken pipe that was barely louder than the rain. Her words were full of holes and made the back of her tongue her taste like iron and salt. “Sokka, he needs me! Please, they’re going to kill him!” She looked up at her big brother. Her world was being ripped apart, but Sokka wouldn’t look at her. “Please, Sokka! Please! I can’t lose him again! I can’t...I can’t—!”

Her big brother set his jaw and said nothing, but his grip shook the barest bit.

A broken sound—a long keen like a wounded wolf’s howl—dragged itself out of Katara. She wanted to fight, but even her body was letting her lose him.

Lose him.

She was losing him.

“Sokka, I...I promised...I promised...”

Lightning flashed white-hot scars across the blackened sky and cracked Katara’s eardrums like a whip against her back.

Katara’s element called to her in every sheet of rain flooding the ground in inches of water, but she was trapped behind dirty glass, helpless to the drug humming with laugher just beneath her skin.

She kicked Sokka where it hurt, but even when Katara fought free, she couldn’t pick herself up off the ground.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair.

Appa paced and pawed the mountain. He softly groaned, his eyes searching.

He...He promised.

Katara fought to move her head enough to face the cave entrance. She panted, too confined, too enclosed, like she was being compressed into her own skin.

Aang...

Her other half was missing.

He was in danger.

He was alone.

She needed to get him back—she had to. Everything would be okay if she just got him back.

She always brought him back.

She tried to picture his smile, but the memory didn’t carry the warmth that he did.

The broken sound dragged itself out of Katara again, and, this time, it broke her apart and dragged her pieces with it.

“No....No, no, no...Please, n-no...Please...”

Mud and rain touched her tongue, and Katara didn’t know who or what to curse anymore when still her element wouldn’t come to her. It mocked her like a million devils and burned her with just as many hateful glares when she dug into what wasn’t there and dragged herself forward a few inches.

...Suki gathered her into a submission hold and scooped her into the saddle.

The shredded parts of Katara that had held on to something like hope were torn off and left to bleed out.

“No...” Katara clawed Suki, the saddle, and anything else she could reach. “No—N-No...” 

Aang—He needed her. He needed help. 

When next the mountain roared, what was left of Katara’s heart tore into pieces as fine as ashes. 

Aang...She heard him.

He was hurt. 

He needed her.

He was stupid.

He was alone.

He was scared.

He was her best friend, and she wasn’t going to leave him. 

She promised. 

Appa whuffled a concerned sound when Suki pinned Katara prone in the saddle to halt her next escape attempt, but the ground giving way gave him no choice but to fly.

There was a last crumble of stone like a god falling out of the sky.

There was a plume of dust and dirt that stole the space in Katara’s lungs.

And then...nothing.

The mountain—The mountain was gone, swallowed into the ocean with the rest of the peninsula.

It was gone.

He was gone.

But he...he...

Suki tried to console her even as she fought back her own tears. Sokka sat beside her and squeezed her hand so hard that she couldn’t feel her fingers.

Katara’s limbs were filled with lead, and she slowly sank, like through quicksand, into something cold and dark that reminded her of nightmares and flirts with death. She was at the bottom of the ocean, and she was being crushed alive.

Her ears rang, her insides became more slush than bone, and the wind howled and beat them like it was mourning its last master.

Breathing was no longer a passive function, and Katara had to remember her children just to convince herself to fill her lungs again.

Her children.

Their children.

The emptiness was a pit in her chest that sat on her with the weight of a mountain, and it was swallowing Katara whole.

“You…” Katara hiccupped and pressed herself into the waterlogged saddle like she might be able to hide there. Her voice was the crunch of glass underfoot, and the whole of her shook like she was freezing to death. “You p-promised…”

The hole in her chest where her heart once was tightened its inky-black chains around her. Her insides rang hollow, and ice crept in frozen webs just beneath her skin. She was numb. She was floating—She was falling—, but Katara kept fighting anyways.

Her only moment of peace came when Suki chi-blocked her.

Unconsciousness was a blessing, and Katara welcomed it like she was sprinting towards it.

This was all just a nightmare. It had to be.

She would wake up, roll over so she was buried even deeper in his arms, and smile as he mumbled a sleepy ‘I love you’ and lazily kissed her hair.

Because Aang promised.

“I guess this means we’ll always be together.”

...And she thought Aang would never break a promise.

*****************************************

.

.

...🥺

aka the “Katara: the Last Airbender” AU that I have equal parts love and hate for. Aang dies protecting the world—and, more importantly, Katara and his family—when Tenzin is a baby, so Katara has to teach Tenzin airbending from what she learned/remembers from Aang. Being his sparring partner made her the best—and now only—resource for airbending, but she knew more than most people realized. She knew Aang better than anyone. His every facet was a mirror and a duplicate embossed into her own. She gave Aang his own Kataango but with airbending, after all, and learning his way of interacting with the world made her connection with him all the deeper. (Sokka was the better storyteller, though, and Katara could only hope that he could tell the three lights of her life about their father without summoning tears at the mere mention of their good times like she did.)

Btw If you heard a loud crack, that was my heart breaking🙃

I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY, ANON

[blissfulalchemist]

"Why... why did you just take off your shirt?" + "Does my being half-naked bother you?" for Victorious Secret

Thank you for this Kate! Here’s more of their new canon!

Fourteen days. That’s how many days in a row Wes had seen Chance, including weekends, from exactly six in the evening until nine at night, except on Fridays when Chance had a lab night and they met for some dinner in the dorm hall from five to seven thirty. Wes didn’t mind, even if it was late on the weekends, good parties didn’t start till ten anyway, he got to be with him and get to know him, well, as much as one can in between research for their project. It was Saturday with the only difference being that for once they started earlier in the day, the deadline a week away. Chance’s nerves must have been starting to get to him as the two were in his dorm instead of the library, their textbooks and notebooks sprawled across the floor with no care as Chance didn’t have to share his room for the next week. 

Wes felt himself start to nod off as the words became blurry and lost their meaning the more he looked at the textbook trying to annotate it to Chance’s standards. They had been going at this for almost four hours straight. Wes rubbed his eyes looking up to Chance as he sat in the cloth chair next to the desk, his feet propped on the ladder of the raised bed, eyes glued to the supplemental book on Jar Head’s approved list. Wes stared at him, noticing the way Chance’s mess of curls were starting to fall into his eyes as he shifted sliding down farther off the chair, Wes felt tempted to brush his brown hair out of his eyes, make life easier for his friend, It looks like it could be really soft. Chance blinked a few times before looking over to Wes, his green eyes sparkling in the last bit of sun filtering in, “You getting lost?”

In your eyes, “No,” he said, looking back down finally realizing he hadn’t turned the page in almost thirty minutes. Time to give up, Wes thought as he adjusted himself on the futon sofa below the roommate’s bed. 

Chance looked around the room frowning, “Have we been sitting in complete silence for the last,” he glanced over at Wes, “What time is it?”

“Almost four.”

Chance’s eyes widened, “Four hours?! We’ve been sitting in silence for four hours,” he groaned leaning back covering his face with the book. “No wonder I’ve been staring at this page for at least thirty minutes,” his voice muffled by the book. 

Wes couldn’t help but notice the way Chance’s shirt pulled up his body exposing a sliver of his abdomen, “Break time?”

“Damn right,” Chance said, tossing the book on the built in desk, rubbing his tired eyes, “Should we get dinner?” He looked out the window behind him, watching as the big snowflakes started to fall, “Dorm food or order in?”

“Not hungry,” Wes said, stretching out his muscles. 

“Dude, I haven’t eaten all day so you haven’t eaten all day,” Chance pointed out, “Here toss me my phone.” Wes picked up the red and black phone in its case flinging it his way, almost hitting Chance in the eye, Oops. “Careful,” Chance opened the phone scrolling through the places that delivered to the dorms and weren’t that far away, “You ever had Pita Pit? Never mind don’t answer that. You probably haven't,” Wes gave a small shrug, Chance wasn’t wrong. He placed his order pushing his hair back, “You want me to pick for you or do you want to scroll through the menu?”

Wes held out his hand, “I’ll do it.”

Chance handed it over standing up, reaching his hands up to the ceiling, distracting Wes as he watched taking in Chance’s lean muscle that he could see as his shirt raised up. Wes quickly looked down to the phone quickly picking something that looked good, “Get a breakfast one too,” Wes looked up through his lashes, at Chance as he pointed out the window with his thumb, “In case the snow gets bad and you gotta stay here for the night.”

“Oh,” Wes looked back and just ordered whatever Chance had ordered, “That why we came here?”

He nodded, “Yeah. Here all day cause of the deadline, Seed hates us, and lastly, perfect timing that my roommate went ice climbing with his family.” Chance took the phone back placing the order, “What should we do while we wait? We can play games, power nap, or watch a show.”

Power nap, “Whatever you think best,” Only one useable bed. 

Chance rubbed the back of his neck moving to sit with Wes, “Maybe some games while we wait,” he said grabbing the controllers, “Might fall asleep and miss the food with the other options.”

“Can we nap after,” Wes asked.

“Yeah,” Chance patted Wes’ shoulder, “Sure big guy. We can nap after we eat, you’re not leaving until nine anyway,” Wes gave him a smirk, “Unless the weather gets bad.”

“Right,” Wes agreed, his mind saying silent prayers for blizzard-like conditions. 

Chance handed over the controller, “You fine with fighting games, or do you want to play something like Halo?”

“Uhm,” Wes hadn’t really played any video games, sure he watched when his two roommates played against each other but he never joined in. “Fighting….games?”

Chance was turning the console on getting ready to sift through the digital library, “Sure. I got Mortal Kombat, Blazeblue, Injustice one and two, Marvel vs Capcom three, uh, let’s see what else,” Chance leaned forward looking at the squares on the screen.

“Whatever’s easiest to play,” Chance looked up to him, his green eyes curious, Wes gave a shrug looking away, “Never played.”

“Huh,” Chance leaned back clicking on a game that Wes didn’t catch, “Thought you would have.”

“Why’d you say that?”

He gave a shrug, “Cause of your roommate, the short one.”

“They’re both short,” Wes retorted.

Chance gave a laugh, “Fair. Everyone’s gotta be short to you, except maybe me on a good day.” Chance turned the tv volume down, the sound loud enough to trigger a small headache, “The not so hot one. She dresses in flowers.” Wes knew which one he was talking about now, “Anyway I remember seeing her at the game store, she kicked some ass during the Injustice tournament, thought you’d have played against her at home.”

Wes shook his head, “No. Wren plays with her though.”

Chance gave a sly smirk, “Plays with her or plays with her?” Chance laughed getting a small shove from Wes, “Joking jeez, but Wren though, that’s her name. Pretty,” Chance said her name once more giving a small nod, “More serious note, are they together? Are you all together, like some kind of poly thing.” Wes gave him an exasperated glare, this wasn’t the first nor the last time Wes had been asked this, Chance held his hands up, “No judgement here, just curious is all.” Chance snapped his fingers to point at Wes, “If it is though, you’re one lucky guy, get to go home to them every night, livin’ every guy’s dream.” Chance turned back to the tv the game starting up. 

Wes hesitated in answering, he could easily lie and say that Wren was taken, stop Chance from ever trying to hit on her. Then again, “No. To all of it.”

Chance gave a slow nod, “Nice.” Wes knew Wren wasn’t that into guys like Chance, but if he believed it then maybe he’d come around more. Chance’s phone lit up as he got the beginner settings set up with Wes’ controller. It was a text message from someone saved as 413, asking if he’d come down and help keep them warm with the incoming snow tonight. It was cheesy and Wes noticed there were a few other messages like that on his phone, some with names more cryptic than the others.

“You’re popular,” Wes commented, Chance glancing down at his phone rolling his eyes.

“Gotta block ‘er,” he shook his head, “Texts me twice a week at least. Don’t want to hook up with her again ‘nd she can’t take the hint apparently.” 

“Whatta ‘bout the others?”

Chance handed the controller back over to Wes, “What about them?” Wes took the controller, “You’re here, don’t have time for them.”

Them, he keeps saying them, Wes turned the words over and over as Chance explained the game, Was it possible that Chance was bi. Could I actually have a shot at this? By the time they started playing Wes forgot all the basics that Chance had just explained, hitting whatever buttons he felt would do something. It wasn’t lost on Wes that Chance held back letting him get a feel for the game and it’s mechanics, which just meant that Wes was able to become semi-competent in the team Chance helped him pick out. 

“Alright now the real competition begins, button masher,” Chance said as he picked a new team for himself. 

An idea came to mind, Wes unable to stop his mouth from holding it back, “We play like strip poker?”

Chance didn’t even look Wes’ way, “Yeah, sure man. Whatever you want.” Wes gave a small, sly smile before turning to the screen. The fight itself didn’t last very long even with the second round that Chance started to really determine a winner, then again it didn’t help that Wes only learned one move for each character he could successfully repeat to do more than just basic punching and kicking. Chance threw his hands up in victory as Wes set his controller down in his lap, pulling his shirt over his head. Chance did a double take, “Why-Why did you just take off your shirt?”

“We’re playin’ strip fight,” Wes felt his heart race, “like strip poker.”

The slightest bit of red started to creep up Chance’s neck, “Uh. Oh, well, I thought you were asking to play Street Fighter after this.”

Wes swallowed, sifting for another excuse to want to pull off the impulsive idea, “It’also kinda hot in ‘ere.” He heard Chance hum a tune Wes didn’t recognize, “Sorry.”

Chance shook his head, his eyes looking over Wes’ bare chest briefly, “It’s fine,” Chance felt the blood make its way up his neck higher towards his cheeks. 

Wes felt himself at an impasse as to what his next move to be, after seeing the brief, very brief, running of Chance’s eyes on his body. The blush was hard to make out of it being from being uncomfortable or from some form of attraction. On the one hand he could keep up the temperature lie, see if Chance would look at him again, or just put the shirt back on and hope he didn’t just screw things up. “Does it bother ya? Bein’ half-naked ‘nd all.”

Chance blinked a few times, “Well, no, if it’s too hot in here for you. Hard to control the temperature in here,” he stammered, heart racing and ignoring the pull in his abdomen. “So if you want to you can stay as you are. Shouldn’t care too much anyway cause it’s just toxic masculinity and all that.” Chance needed to shut up, he looked for a change in subject as he rubbed the back of his neck, his cell phone ringing. He let out a breath of relief as he recognized the delivery driver’s number, “Looks like the food’s here.” Chance made his way to the door grabbing his keys, “Go ahead and pick something for us to watch,” he switched the lock on the door. “So no one walks in and gets the wrong idea about you. Some of the guys here can be mean,” Chance justified seeing the worried look on Wes’ face. 

Chance walked out the door, quickly making his way to the stairs to walk down the ten flights to the lobby. Wes sat, his heart slowing as he put his face in his hands, rubbing his temples, “Hope I didn’t fuck up.”

[welcometotheocverse]

Henry in 2x05 at the dinner at Lorelai's?

Ooooh okay

So Henry’s arrival at Stars Hollow is actually heralded by a fight between Liz and her Current Boyfriend Number Whatever who is at this point helping support the expenses and getting sick of Jess “mouthin off” and both boys “being underfoot and doing nothing half the time but sit around reading they got no respect for me-” ( which is yknow Bullshit bc they’re 17 and 10 but whatever he sucks)  And right after there’s a fight between Liz and Jess “Why..hey?! Why are you packing up my stuff??” “You’re going to Stars Hollow. Tomorrow.” “Excuse me?!” “Your uncle Luke, he’ll take ya in. It’s all set up. Oh you boys are gonna love it there-” “Fucking Excuse Me?!!” “Jess can you just for one fucking time-” aaaaand  a  huuuge ass screaming match later during which he is Very Much Staying In His Room For:  “So...I guess we’re moving huh” ( this all happens either before or after Luke is done yelling at Liz over the phone like we see in the episode. Theres just... its a yelling heavy day and then they’re on a bus to the Hollow)

Which leads to him not meeting Lorelai until the dinner because he doesn’t step down from the apartment for the entirety of the first day because of the fight and the whole “being shipped to a relative he’s never met before.” he’s pretty nervous and just stays put where Luke leaves him and also while Luke bought the frosted flakes and “kid food” he didn’t think to specify they were allowed to have it without asking so neither him nor Jess really go for it ( Jess picks him up like  a sandwich while he’s scoping the town out) so he’s like really hungry when they go. He’s mostly excited about not having to worry about asking permission to grab food because they were invited and he can just eat what they serve him and also is mildly curious about Lorelai and co. because  Luke’s...nice enough and she’s friends with him and the others are friends with her and despite being in a bad mood and not saying much Jess didn’t really say much about her when Henry asked  past “she talks a lot” and like everyone talks a lot compared to Jess sometimes so

So they get to the dinner and Henry’s v polite and looking around. He smiles at Lorelai and she at him and his first ( if not lasting) impression of her is “huh she’s actually pretty nice” and like he mostly sticks to Jess because neither’s keen on being apart in a place they’re new at. Unlike Jess though he actually smiles a little when he meets Jackson and Sookie because yeah they’re freaking out about a lemon but it’s...it’s pretty funny. He takes a liking to them and asks Jackson about fruit and is scared kinda looking around and sticking to Luke like glue ( like the questions come out hesitant) but nice to them smiling and trying to talk a bit  ( which is like his general  setting tbh.)

He sticks with Luke while Jess and Rory meet ( I haven’t decided if Jess asks Rory to bail in this because while yeah he tends to go on his own a lot ( because he doesn’t wanna be around Henry when he can tell he’s angry and also he hated being home a lot and it just became a habit) I don’t think he would do so when Henry’s in a house with A Lot Of Unknown People specially with how I’m interpreting their life with Liz to be in this verse) 

The dinner scene is actually v cute with him because it like...takes him by surprise just how homey it all is Luke and Lorelai playfully arguing about the food on Luke’s plate and Sookie talking about this dish and that and Jackson offering up conversation here and there. It’s like  a legit family dinner and mostly he’s pretty thrown and sorta just smiles and enjoys it. Rory actually gets him to talk about books since he takes after Jess in that ( though he likes different genres) and mostly he’s just a little kid getting a glimpse at a family dinner and being cute and shy and mirroring Luke ( he starts eating when Luke starts eating he relaxes a bit when he sees how Friendly everyone’s being ect) and coming a bit out of his shell and going “oh these adults are nice and wanna talk to me” and its v cute. I kinda love it. t-t

He’s aware Jess is “getting a soda” but sorta figures Jess either IS getting a soda or is out smoking and will come back so while he’s anxious because Jes isn’t there and he’s alone with people he doesn’t know it’s mitigated by him knowing Jess would not just up and leave with these many unknown people and also like I said they ( Sookie Jackson Rory and even Lore at this point and how homey everyone is and nice and Happy) put him a bit more at ease even if he doesn’t realize it.

I think this is also when some of him and Jess’ past living habits start showing like Henry Demolishes his food but doesn’t ask for more and after exchanging a glance with Luke Sookie offers him more and he -hesitantly- accepts and Rory brings up the books she was reading when she was Henry’s age ( Henry lets it out that Jess read similar books but he likes fiction better and isn’t in a hurry to read Bigger Kid Books even if he Can and Jess ( who always ahead in reading) is always bugging him about how great they are and then Rory  goes on a tangent about the merits of Fairy Tales and Fantasy as story telling with Rory doing most of the talking ( and kinda smiling herself at having someone who wants to listen and looks Up to her bc she is the babie mostly in Stars Hollow so hey nice for a change  and also she’s just straight up infodumping which is just really fun and even more fun when the person’s interested ( because this might as well be when i mention I hc both Gilmore Girls as ND) ) while Henry smiles again and listens because now he has something to say back to Jess when he pokes fun at his book tastes  even if he doesn’t completely catch everything she’s saying bc she’s going full on Future English Major but she makes sure to try to level with him and also wow he really likes Rory and she’s really smart like Jess and she likes him and wants to hear him talk about his books and  ins’t that ....that’s really nice and  is completely unaware of what looks the adults at the table are giving and its just...Its Very Cute. Listen Im love them.) and then Jackson pipes up ( when he can tell Rory’s losing Henry)  with “you know when I was his age mom would just tell us to go run around the farm. We did use to have this ball to kick around though you like outside Henry?” and again Henry’s very taken aback by being Included and talked to like that but it’s?? Nice?? And the food’s nice?? And he’s actually having a good time all things considered and feeling less on guard since he got there and its just A Nice Dinner Wow.

Until Lorelai goes to get the garlic bread/finds Jess.

I don’t think he knows she’s out there talking to Jess or what’s said but with the hypervigilance both Mariano kids have going, he definitely hears Lorelai slams the door ( and he had been keeping an ear out for Jess as well) 

I’m not sure if he follows Luke because even  if they’re nice he still isn’t in a place he feels safe around everyone or if he gets up After Luke because Jess is missing and a door just slammed and these are things where it’s best to Know What’s Going On And Also What’s Coming but he hears Lorelai’s “that kid is way more screwed up than you think he is.” rant and his opinion of her immediately just falls. 

See and here I’m kinda torn because I can see him going “My brother’s Not screwed up! You don’t even know him!” like really upset ( because yeah Jess can be grouchy and moody but Jess Is His Brother and Henry is privy to Why he’s moody and grouchy and specifically “screwed up” are words that really hit a nerve because he’s heard them before from people specifically about Jess and usually it means nothing good for either of them but also “screwed up” just Hurts to hear  and Lorelai realizes Henry’s listening and goes “oh crap” and Luke tells him to go sit back down and Then they keep arguing ( though Henry would still listen in on their fight because again Hyper vigilance) or if they just agreed as he watches and then when they hit “Go Find Jess” “Don’t tell Me what to do! I’m gonna go find Jess” Lorelai finally sees him and Then the “my brother’s not screwed up!” line happens

And on yet another hand I also don’t know if he would say it because while “I” would find it cathartic Henry’s character is Highly Not Confrontational like even when he’s not nice he would be scared to confront Lorelai because sassing is Jess’ thing and he’s seen what that can cause to happen yknow? So that I’m a bit fuzzy on.

But either way his opinion of her just kinda really falls really far really quickly ( remembering he was like “oh she’s nice” when the dinner started) and it doesn’t really go away until like after the accident when I have her shape up a bit. It really just sets up Lorelai for him as someone who A) does Not like them ( because to him if she doesn’t like Jess and doesn’t want Luke to take them in then she also must not like Henry and not want Luke to take him in) and B) someone who can Make Luke Send Them Back because their argument reminds him or Liz’ fight with her Boyfriend Number Whatever ( and a lot of past fights like “you know your kids are a hassle Liz.” “that kid of yours’ a fucking punk Liz” “Can’t  you keep ‘em out of the house? You know I work all day I pay all the bills-” ) which uh....Ended With him and Jess being shipped to their uncle so it’s not....it’s not great. From then on he’s pretty subdued and only really talks to Lorelai when she inquires things ( and this is the pattern that will continue until Luke and Lulu and Lorelai herself understand some things like he becomes really quiet around Lorelai and Cordial But Monosyllabic to the point shes like “wow they’re really brothers huh” at least once to Luke ( and is a really big contrast to how he is with Luke and Jess and some other people ) and pulls off some incredibly avoidant feats when she comes at the dinner ) and just on top of not liking her a lot from here on out sees her as Someone To Avoid/Someone Not To Be Trusted 

Anyways after the dinner all 3 head home and Henry ( when Luke is downstairs doing inventory or counting the till or some other thing)  shows Jess the garlic rolls he shoved in his pocket when no one was looking ( another habit he’s picked up)  and gives him some and it’s a nice moment between the two. Jess passes him one of his annotated paperbacks in return.

 Again ignore the caption gifs are hard to find lmao

Send me one of my OC's + a canon scene from the show and I'll tell you what they do in it/how they fit in

[viiolences]

     (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ     🍓 🌼 🍒     *     here  .  .  .  have  some  cute  emojis  to  pretend  tumblr  isn’t  an  absolute  hell  hole  rn  !!  my  name  is  vic  (  she  /  her  )  ,  i’m  nineteen  &  will  be  here  every  step  of  the  way  to  keysmash  in  ur  ims  .  .  .  please  bear  w/  me  .  im  tragically  unprepared  but  hit  the  lil  heart  &  i’ll  message  u  for  plots  !!

*     basics     ,  

name  :  viola  jane  soo  .

korean  name  :  soo  bora  .

age  :  twenty  four  .

gender  :  cis  female  .

sexuality  :  bisexual  .

occupation  :  director  /  screenwriter  .

height  :  160  cm  .

fc  :  im  nayeon  .

*     digging     deeper     ,

a  world  watched  cautiously  through  a  tinted  lens  ,  never  to  see  its  true  colors  ;  a  crashing  wave  of  reality  coming  in  to  soothe  a  hand  that’s  finally  been  let  go  of  ;  the  kiss  you  leave  on  a  stranger’s  lips  ,   begging  them  to  love  you  ,  at  least  until  sunrise  .

the  soos  live  in  the  prettiest  house  on  their  street  ,  oozing  a  studied  elegance  their  youngest  daughter  could  never  live  up  to  :  viola  was  clumsy  and  sweet  ,  would  cling  to  anyone  who’d  hold  her  hand  ,  forever  hungry  for  affection  .  but  neglected  children  don’t  wear  designer  dresses  ,  they  don’t  take  piano  lessons  every  saturday  ,  they  don’t  smile  this  bright  ---------  barely  saw  her  parents  growing  up  ,  left  at  the  mercy  of  her  siblings  ,  all  preoccupied  with  their  own  lives  ,  little  viola  would  spend  most  of  her  days  at  her  friends’  houses  ,  finding  a  shred  of  parental  love  in  their  families  .  

almost  too  soft  for  her  own  good  ,  walked  through  life  with  a  toothy  smile  ,  desperate  to  believe  there  was  good  in  everyone  ;  was  easy  to  take  advantage  of  ,  got  picked  on  by  kids  tougher  and  stronger  than  her  .  but  she  only  grew  kinder  ,  never  learned  to  fight  for  herself  ,  always  turned  the  other  cheek  .  .  .  then  ran  home  crying  ,  only  to  be  welcomed  by  silence  .  silence  became  screaming  matches  when  she  was  in  middle  school  ,  her  parents’  marriage  falling  apart  with  her  older  siblings  off  to  college  .  viola’s  mother  used  her  as  a  shield  ,  the  reason  for  her  father  to  stay  .  she  became  collateral  damage  in  a  vicious  war  ,  her  own  living  room  the  battle  ground  .

started  recording  with  her  father’s  old  vhs  camera  to  distance  herself  from  the  world  around  her  :  it  always  seemed  more  beautiful  through  a  lens  ,  a  sweeter  place  .  by  high  school  she  was  already  putting  together  short  films  &  constantly  recording  her  friends  ,  too  .  it  was  the  best  possible  escape  ,  a  souvenir  she  could  keep  forever  .  hid  her  own  feelings  behind  the  words  of  characters  she  created  in  her  head  ,  every  story  to  this  day  extremely  personal  .  

could  have  easily  been  seen  as  the  baby  of  the  group  ,  extremely  dependent  on  her  friends  and  always  cautious  of  her  surroundings  .  she  was  the  one  always  tugging  at  someone’s  sleeve  ,  the  designated  driver  ,  the  person  who  spent  most  of  the  party  playing  with  the  host’s  dog  .  she  was  cheerful  and  loyal  ,  but  clingy  and  often  insecure  ,  always  needed  reminding  that  she’s  loved  .  always  had  a  crush  on  someone  ,  almost  addicted  to  pining  over  someone  who  doesn’t  care  for  her  in  the  slightest  .  her  sexuality  was  causing  her  a  lot  of  confusion  ,  too  ,  often  compensating  her  newfound  attraction  to  women  by  trying  way  too  hard  to  get  attention  from  boys  .

her  parents  absolutely  hated  her  decision  to  study  film  ,  her  mother  going  as  far  as  burning  all  of  viola’s  tapes  shortly  before  she  left  for  college  :  years  upon  years  of  footage  ,  only  some  of  it  stored  digitally  ,  gone  in  the  blink  of  an  eye  .  something  broke  in  viola  then  and  she  realized  something  she’s  been  trying  to  avoid  her  entire  life  :  that  she  hates  her  mother  ,  that  she  never  felt  loved  by  her  ,  that  she  survived  years  upon  years  of  quiet  abuse  without  ever  saying  a  word  .  a  hopeless  romantic  grew  thicker  skin  overnight  ,  came  to  los  angeles  without  a  smile  on  her  face  but  with  a  drive  ,  a  smothering  need  to  prove  to  her  family  that  she’s  worth  so  much  more  than  they  think  .

cut  all  ties  with  her  mother  and  hasn’t  been  back  home  since  ,  sees  her  father  and  siblings  sometimes  when  they’re  in  california  for  bussiness  .  film  school  was  so  good  for  her  ,  though  :  she  was  finally  free  of  her  mother’s  watchful  eyes  ,  didn’t  have  to  meet  her  expectations  .  her  student  film  (  still  life  )  got  really  good  reviews  and  painted  her  as  a  director  to  watch  .  her  debut  (  honeysuckle  )  premiered  at  sundance  (  a  lot  of  it  thanks  to  her  proffessors’  connections  but  shh  )  and  was  very  well  received  .  her  third  movie  is  set  to  premiere  later  in  the  year  !!  and  she’s  excited  !!  she  loves  what  she  does  !!

coming  back  home  for  the  first  time  in  six  years  is  not  a  pleasant  experience  for  viola  ,  all  her  good  memories  of  this  place  burned  with  the  tapes  ,  everything  a  reminder  of  how  weak  she  used  to  be  .  she’s  almost  embarrassed  of  it  ,  that  tenderness  she  once  had  .  

*     with  bella     ,

everybody  knew  viola  was  completely  in  love  with  bella  ,  perhaps  even  before  viola  realized  it  herself  .  still  clueless  ,  only  wrapping  her  head  around  the  fact  she  likes  girls  ,  viola  was  completely  in  awe  of  the  other  girl  ,  who  i  imagine  loved  the  attention  ,  perhaps  even  flirted  with  her  sometimes  just  to  see  her  blush  .  they  were  never  extremely  close  ,  but  viola  created  an  image  of  bella  in  her  mind  that  she  held  onto  for  months  .

*     extras     ,

was  always  running  around  with  a  camera  when  they  were  younger  !!  like  every  little  outing  was  documented  ??  we  love  a  vlogger

has  a  samoyed  puppy  named  cherry  whom  she  loves  and  she  brought  him  along  bc  she  couldnt  bear  to  leave  him  alone  in  la

literally  renting  out  an  airbnb  bc  she  refuses  to  stay  with  her  parents

loves  baking  but  she’s  really  bad  at  it  but  it  gets  her  so  excited  nd  she’ll  give  her  friends  cupcakes  please  dont  tell  her  they  suck  !!!

nails  always  painted  rly  nicely  she  goes  to  a  salon  to  do  cute  nail  art  once  a  month

deep  down  still  a  hopeless  romantic  dnt  let  her  fool  u

*     wcs     ,

lifelong  best  friend  /  love  interest  :  on  the  main  .

someone  she  wasn’t  close  with  before  but  met  again  at  uni  and  they  hit  it  off

a  bad  influence  when  they  were  younger

FIRST  KISS

 ffhdjgjg  puppy  love  please

a  sibling  figure

someone  whose  parents  noticed  she  was  alone  a  lot  when  she  was  a  kid  and  kind  of  took  her  in  whenever  she  needed  a  place  to  go  after  school

someone  who  remembers  how  soft  she  was  but  they  fell  out  of  touch  nd  they  just  cant  understand  why  she’s  suddenly , , , so  cold

one  of  her  thousands  of  crushes

um  , ,,  , met  again  like  three  years  after  graduation  in  a  bar  somewhere , , ,  a  one  night  stand  please

exes  but  like  break  my  heart  please

anything  u  might  have  in  mind !!!

[canumoveurseatup-no]

Fortress

summary: he doesn’t get in your brain, he doesn’t fill up the spaces. you don’t whisper his name now that you’ve built a fortress.

word count: not sure? but there won’t be a keep reading tab bc i am on mobile.

pairings: peter Parker x black!reader, father!rhodey x black!reader

warnings: it moves fast, angst hoe, bad boyfriend (peter even though i feel like he wouldn’t be one), running away from your problems trope.

a/n: inspired by fortress by lennon stella. please reblog and comment, it’s 2019- support your fandom authors :)

————

“Let it out, sweetheart,”

You never cried over a boy. A fucking boy. Never had anything moved you like this and it shook your spirit and didn’t sit well with you.

“I hate him,” nose stuffed, lips dry from the salt in your tears, you could only imagined how bad you looked.

It’s not like he cheated, he was just a shit boyfriend then had the nerve to hit you with “it’s not you, it’s me” bullshit.

You had no idea why he even called it a relationship- it was an unrequited love. But he thrived having someone finally pine after him, he was addicted to your sadness and it’s taken this long for you to see that?

———

“Stark!!” You stormed into the compound in search to give him an earful about how much of an ass his verbally adopted son has been.

“Uh oh,” he muttered and turned around but not before sighing to himself and praying for the Lord to give him strength, “Y/N!!,”

You were seething, finger trembling as you pointed at him, “Don’t you Y/N me!!,”

“What did he do now?”

What didn’t he do? He completely blew you off in front of your friends just to hang out with MJ and Ned as if he hadn’t been the entire week. You’ve only been seeing him at school and Avenger related tasks.

You explained everything to Tony but it’s not like Tony could do anything. What could he do? Give peter a wag of the finger and a time out? That’s not how it works.

You sigh and realized this was going to fix nothing, so you stormed out and went straight to your room to sit and think what could be done.

———

Did he even care at all? He could have called it off a long time ago to avoid all of this but it probably gets him off to see you still double texting and sliding up on his stories to reply just for him to leave you on read.

It wasn’t until he hadn’t texted you all day or even talked to you in school that you decided to build those walls up all over again and move on. It might be ridiculous to let a simple boy get to you like this but something has to be done.

“Dad, I think I want to go to that all girl’s boarding school,”

Sitting with your hand in his, you felt him squeeze it in reassurance. He proposed that idea a while ago, knowing the horrors of public schools.

“Y/N I don’t think you should be letting him run you off like this,”

“It’s not me running away. It’s self care,”

A simple bandaid on a gunshot wound.

“If you’re sure... I’ll call in the morning”

———

All those quiet nights Peter spent on you had you thinking he meant it when he was really talking out the side of his neck, making you think he was deep while he talked about something he supposedly wanted.

But it was really what you wanted, and he knew that... he knew exactly what to say and because of that you kept letting him take you.

“I can’t believe after crushing so hard for so long you’re finally mine,” you whispered, head lying on his chest, hearing the steady beat of his heart. He was so good at lying to you that you couldn’t even hear a skip when he lied.

“I care so much about us and where we end up. Thank you for letting me in,” every time he kissed the side of your head your cheeks would heat up and every nerve in your body would tingle.

The show he put on was always so believable, he deserved a standing ovation now.

“Tony says he’s proud I chose a good one. I can see what he means. You mean so much to me”

Did he ever feel the way you did at all?

———

No one knew you were leaving, they didn’t need to. Rhodey arranged the plans and as bad as it hurt to see some fucking idiot run his daughter off, you said this is what you needed and who was he to argue with that? You were old enough to make your own decisions.

Everyone threw a conniption when they were informed of your absence weeks later when it came time for another battle and it was all hands on deck and someone finally had the courage to ask where’d you’d been.

“Well where’d she go? Rhodes?” Natasha frowns and stares at the man who wasn’t reacting like everyone else.

Peter didn’t miss the way he cut his eyes to him before shaking his head.

“She’s fine, that’s all that matters”

“Bullshit!,” Tony guffaws

“Y/N wouldn’t just leave,” Peter pipes up.

“Oh what do you know?,”

Peter looked across the table at Rhodey and didn’t have much to say then. Peter then realized he never knew you at all. You were just someone who showed him the attention he was starved for.

He became an Icarus and had flown too close to the sun.

Running out of the room to dial your phone and only getting a dial tone.

You cut your losses, knowing you’d never be the same after this. You hated feelings, you hated crushes, because someone always gets... crushed, and not in a good way.

Peter tried calling he doesn’t know how many times until he tried the compound phone itself. The caller ID came up on your phone as “home #2” but you knew it was probably him.

You ignore it. That’s be the best. You were thriving. You made friends- your friends were your own- you didn’t have to share his, you didn’t have to worry about mutual friends.

This was for the best.

———

Ned and MJ were doing their best to calm Peter down but did he really have a right to be upset? He didn’t give a fuck about where you guys ended up nd everyone could see that, even if he said he did.

He just saw it too late.

“I hate to break it to you Peter but... I don’t think this is fixable,” MJ shrugs, “She’s come to me about her feelings multiple times and I’ve tried talking to you about it for her but you just won’t listen... she built those walls back up. Her heart isn’t on her sleeve anymore it’s surrounded by a fortress now,”

Peter didn’t want to hear that. He looked to Ned for help but all his best friend could do was frown and look away, knowing the truth of where you stood.

“How could I let this happen? How did I let it get this bad?,”

“You got off on finally having someone, especially someone as sweet as her. I don’t know what it is with the male species but you all are so attention hungry that you forget to take yourself off your own mind for even a millisecond to see the damage your self centered tendencies have caused,”

MJ was not the one to sugar coat it. Sure as Peter’s friends that didn’t do much to help because they did always hang out even if you and Pete had plans.

“A sweet girl like her can only get her heart broken once before she’s never the same again,”

———

Break was here that fast? Were you ready to go back? Were you ready to see everyone? Ready to see him?

Months have passed and he’s tried calling from different numbers, leaving 9 minute voicemails and long ass text messages. You applauded yourself for the self restraint.

You were better than that. You are better than what you were receiving.

“You know he’s going to be there? I can get you a room at a hotel if you want to avoid it,” Rhodey was good to finally have you home for a good month. Visiting you every weekend didn’t do justice for your bond as father and daughter.

“I’ll be fine. He doesn’t move me”

You’ve told yourself that enough to the point where you believed it without a doubt and that’s why you could walk in the doors of the compound and greet everyone without batting an eye at him.

His breath hitched at the sight of you. You were glowing- you were smiling- something he didn’t see much before you left.

Your eyes were already red from lack of sleep and worrying yourself. Skin always dull from pushing yourself to seem put together. He now sees how fake and pitiful your smiles were before. Seeing you now was how you first were when you two started “dating”- it should have never gotten to that stage of no light.

“We missed you, kid,” Clint picks you up and twirls you around.

“I missed you all too,”

“It’s late, but let’s get you settled in and you can tell me all about life where you’ve been,” Natasha took your bags.

Being in your old room was refreshing. Everything was the same and nothing was moved not even. A centimeter. Nat let you clean up in your own space before you called her back.

Hearing a knock on your door, you expected it to happen.

“Peter,”

You didn’t even have to turn to look to know it was him.

“Y/N,”

You were placing clothes in your dresser when he stood awkwardly at the door.

“How you been?,”

“That’s not why you’re here. Now is it?,” no point in beating around the bush right?

“Why’d you leave?”

“Why’d you turn a lover into a savage,” spinning on the heals of your feet you shoot a question right back and found it amusing how he looked like a fish in water trying to thin of an answer.

“All the words you don’t say speak the loudest, Peter,”

“I never meant to be so bad. I- I let it get to my head that I finally had someone who liked me and while I didn’t feel that was at first, I was getting there-,”

“You can’t force yourself to like someone, Peter,”

He knew that. But he feels that way now- but at what cost? it’s too late and he knows that.

“You said you gave a fuck about us but you didn’t and now I see that and that’s fine,”

He went to speak but you stopped him. He had more than enough time to realize his lack of effort before it got this far.

“You don’t get in my brain, you don’t fill up the spaces. My brain is finally void of any thought of you and it’s honestly exhilarating!!,”

You’ve thought about this moment for months. Rehearsing what you’d say until everything was scrapped now and you found the right words.

“I can finally see things that used to remind me of you and not whisper your name. You can stand right there and probably get on your knees begging for me back but I still wouldn’t let you in now!,”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I should have been better,”

Yeah- he should have been. Maybe this will be a lesson for him to do better, to be better.

“Tell me,” you step closer and look him in his eyes, “Did you ever feel the way I did at all? Before it even got to this point?,”

He couldn’t even maintain eye contact- that was all the answer you needed

“Get out,”

“Wait, Y/N just listen-,”

“You don’t get my attention anymore!!,” voice booming over his, you stormed passed him and opened your door wide, “Now get out!,”

He still hesitated and you stomped your foot in frustration, now he wanted to stay and be around you? Now that you didn’t want him... how rom-com of him.

“Now!!,”

Your shout was like a jolt of electricity in him that got in to move quickly. You slam your door behind him and catch your breath. Breathing slowly to calm down. That needed to happen. Now you feel like you can finally move on, you said your piece, getting any last words off your mind and feelings off your chest.

Now that you’ve built a fortress, you’ll never be the same. He never felt the way you did at all.

——————

This was probably bad? But I finally had inspiration to write so I hope this is enough. It’s 3 am and I needed to write this before I couldn’t.

Please reblog and comment!!

tags: @vozit @yournonlocalpoc @babybubastis @blackreaders-assemble @retroxvailles @mokacoconut @marvclheaux @dumbchick @warmchick @spideys-wife @xye-weirdo @m00nlightdelights @micki-smiles @veryhellshdia @never-enough-time-for-sleep @here-for-your-bullshit @valynsia @valkyriesnymph @chonisberonica @valentinevirgo @crawlingnightmares @hisxblackxqueen

[musicnoots]

Hold Me Tighter

Babe Heffron/Reader

Requested by anon: “Hey! If your requests are still open, would it be ok to request some good ol babe fluff? I’m having the worst time at uni right now and could really use some babe cuteness to cheer up”

A/N: Major sleepy Babe fluff. Hope you feel better anon <3

Synopsis: A sleepless night in the Ardennes leaves Babe restless and curious when he asks you a tricky question.

Tags: @gottapenny @croatianbagudna @dustyjjumpwings @higgles123 @wexhappyxfew @curraheev @medievalfangirl @bandofmarvels @those-dusty-jump-wings @majwinters @junojelli

“Are you comin’ with me to Philly?”

His voice is breathy, raspy and tired. His hands shake under the cold January night sky, eyes looking out at the snow right in front of his foxhole as he pulls you closer to his side, thin army-issued blanket spread from shoulder to shoulder.

Babe is tired, restless, and almost at the brink of tears when it comes to sleeping. Usually, he’s out like a light once the sun sets and the sky turns into the dampest shade of a black, but tonight, he can’t find himself to take the angels’ hands into slumberland where the sky is pink and the ground is as fluffy as the clouds.

He asks you the question like it isn’t the pink elephant in the room, fifteen different tangents going off in his head as he stares at the pile of snow in front of the foxhole. You shoot him a quizzical look, hand gripping the edge of the worn out blanket spread across your laps. “What?”

“Like, after the war? I mean—damn, I shoulda phrased it differently,” he stutters and his cheek start to grow red under the darkened sky. “Are you comin’ with me? Am I comin’ with you? Where we goin’ after the war?”

“You’re asking me this now?”

“My Ma always said it’s better to be prepared than sorry,” he yawns for the first time in hours since the sun said goodbye to the stars. Babe has this fear of losing you—not to bullets and grenades, no. He’s afraid he’ll lose you because of something stupid he did, like not telling you how much he loves you or if you wanted to come back to Philly with him. “And I’m kinda in love with you, y’know? I don’t ask you to come and cuddle with me in the middle of fuckin’ nowhere for nothin’.”

A small part of your heart, that isn’t frozen from the cold, warms up a little bit and your stiff lips curl up into a smile. “I feel your love so hard right now, Babe. So romantic. I love you, too.”

“Yeah, yeah, but tell me—where we goin’?”

You shrug. “I don’t know, I was thinking about going back home and just relaxing for a bit. War’s a tiring workplace, bub.”

“Aw man, so no Philly?” Babe whines, and you giggle, not sure if it’s the real Babe or the sleep deprivation clouding his head. “I was really hopin’ for Philly, Y/N, not gonna lie.”

“Alright, then it’s settled. It was nice knowing you, Babe.”

“Wait, nuuuuhhh—” He turn towards you and rests his head on your shoulder. He was going to caress your cheek like the gentleman he is, but he’s way to comfortable in the position he’s in under the blanket—slight warm and cozy next to your presence. “Y/N, I love you. A lot. And I am the man of your dreams. You don’t wanna be with the wrong guy, ‘cause I’m the right one for you.”

His words are slurred and his eyelids are droopy, obviously way too sleepy at this time of the night, but he fights against it to stay awake, sniffling as he tries to find the right words. You hum, squeezing his hand under the blanket as he drifts in and out of consciousness. “Well, Edward Heffron, what makes you the right one for me?”

“Well,” he tried to sit up but fails and ends up slumped against your side like a fat fish on land, “number one, I’m cute, and you like cute guys.”

“I do?”

“Yeah, a...nd I am very talented and romantic. You remember that heart I drew in the mud a while ago? That’s my Da Vinci side.” He draws a heart in the air with his pointer finger, giggling at the memory of him presenting you his masterpiece. You weren’t in the best mood back then, a little bit pissed at everyone when he dragged you out just to show you a lop-sided heart drawn with a twig he found laying around. “What else am I good at...um, I make a mean banana and peanut butter sandwich. The recipe is from my Ma, but I always pass it off as my own—shhhhhh, don’t tell her. What else...oh! I can also fart on command. Wanna see?”

“No,” you chuckle and wrap your arm around his shoulders, fingers rubbing hexagons on his cheek gently and softly and he melts into your touch.

Babe can just sit here and fade into dreamland while you play with a strand of hair peeking out from his helmet—this is his favorite way to fall asleep. With you right by his side and him snuggling into you like a cat on a rainy day, knowing that he’ll be safe in your arms. He always thinks about this moment, not in a war setting, but in a domestic setting where he is fast asleep on the couch of your shared Philly home with hot chocolate on his upper lip as you keep him by your side. He thinks about it way too much than he likes to admit, but if it’s that life he wants, then he might as well just marry you right here, right now and put a ring made of leaves on your finger.

He hums at the feeling of your fingertips on the nape of his neck so comfortably, he feel like he’s home. “I think ‘bout this all the time.”

“Baby, I know you like it when I play with your hair.”

“Yeah, I do. Can you move your hand just a little further ba—yeah, that’s the spot,” he moans as you he tug the little tuft of hair on the back of his head, eyelids screwing shut as he feels lighter than the clouds. “But I always think ‘bout us just living together. A small little home just for the two of us, a garden in the front—it’s mine, by the way—and a cat. I want a cat, Y/N. I don’t want a car, I want a cat.”

“Mm, and what would you name this cat?”

Babe is silent for a moment, and you think he’s asleep until his lips twitch. “I wanna name ‘im Sergeant Purrkins. Get it? ‘Cause...Perkins…” he yawns.

“Maybe it’s time for you to go to sleep,” you say, reaching to pull the blanket up but he slaps your hand away.

“Nooooo, I’m not finished yet!” he whines. “I need to tell you about our lives back home! You got me sidetracked, Y/N! Now I can’t remember what else I was thinkin’ about!”

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry.” You kiss his cheek, and Babe instantly forgives you. He loves it when you kiss him, especially in front of the guys—it makes him feel special. “Go on.”

“Thank you, as I was sayin’—I’m gonna marry ya. Gonna marry ya in the world’s biggest wedding with ice cream instead of cake because I’m cool like that. I’m gonna be the best husband in the entire world because I make good food and I love everything about you. Boobs and ass mostly, but I enjoy your lovin’, too.” He yawns, way too tired at this point to even continue on because it’s way past his bedtime. “So whaddya say, Y/N? You comin’ with...me to…”

Babe doesn’t even finish the sentence before he’s silent again. Eyelids shut tight, and snores escaping his parted lips as he finally falls asleep in the early hours of the morning in your arms. He dreams of that life back home with you—the one where you live comfortably with a ring on your finger, drinking hot chocolate by the windowsill as it rains outside. Sergeant Purrkins walks on the dining table as Babe pulls you into his lap and smothers you in kisses, your hand running through his locks just the way he likes it, and he will never grow hungry, just satisfied knowing that you’re his in the moment and for the years to come.

“Yes, I’ll go back to Philly with you,” you say, and he’s already fast asleep when you say it. So when you call it a night and find yourself sleeping just minutes after, you dream of the same life with Babe in Philly.

[bendywackyadventures]

The Ink Demonth Day 31

Here we are the final day of Ink Demonth! The Free Day!!!

So for Free Day I decided to work on an idea that’s been playing in my head. What if Allison and Susie ended their hatred and became friends and having a girls day together. I need some wholesome moments where its not just hating on each other or being sad, just some cute sweet wholesome friendship between Allison and Susie!

Well it was fun working on Ink Demonth! Thank you @halfusek for this amazing event!!

It was my role! It was my role!

That’s all Susie Campbell thought since that day, Allison Pendle came to the studio and took her job, her best friend, everything from her. She wished Allison never stepped foot in the studio, never glanced at Joey anything that kept her away from the studio and Alice Angel. Now all Susie does is just complain about her role getting taken, and her on and off relationship with Joey.

Luckily, today was her day of so she could stay in bed all day till the next day; this was her routine ever since her role was taken from her. She only came out of her room if something was needed like meeting up with Joey. What got Susie out of bed was her stomach she hasn’t had any breakfast, and wasn’t going to stay in bed hungry.

The former actress went to her fridge and saw there wasn’t much in the fridge just a pitcher of water, juice a few loaves of bread and a carrot. Susie sighed guess she had to get groceries, but first a quick clean up. Susie took a quick shower, got dressed and headed out the door with a list in hand. All she needed was some groceries and she can head back home in bed with a radio playing some slow tunes.

The bus ride felt like forever as Susie waited for it to stop at the local market. Once it stopped she jumped out of the bus and headed inside the market. Susie looked at her list and read through what she needed. Not too much on her list just food that will fill the fridge for the week. Susie gave a confident smile grabbed a kart and started walking towards the isles.

Susie got a few cans of soup, some produce and a jar of orange juice. She crossed out what she got and went to the next item. “Alright, so I just need eggs and milk. Then back to bed.” Susie stopped, glaring at the girl in the distance.

Allison was doing shopping herself getting some butter from the shelf, probably for a new recipe. Susie sighed and rolled her eyes; out of all the days to go out she had to run into co-workers, especially one she despised. Susie sighed rolling her eyes, this wasn’t the studio Susie just had to look away and walk to another isle. However, Allison turned and spotted Susie walking away.

“Susie!” Allison waved.

“Crap” Susie mumbled. She turned glaring at Allison, she took a deep breath and looked at Allison straight in the eye. She remembered a time when Allison and Susie were like this. It ended with the two girls fighting, punches and hair pulling included. Many of the guys from the Music and Animation department enjoyed it, but many workers like Sammy, Norman and even Wally was horrified seeing how brutal the fight was. Heck, Joey didn’t do anything and it gave the former actress 2ndthoughts about Joey.

To make sure no scene happened Susie tried her best to act calm when in reality she wanted to yell at this girl in front of everyone. However, this wasn’t the studio so she kept it classy. “Hello, Pendle.” Allison gave a small smile at the former Alice Angel voice actress and it made it awkward around people. “Its…nice seeing you here.”

“Yeah. Same here.” Allison replied rubbing the back of her head. She gave a chuckle, “small world huh?”

Susie wasn’t laughing. She grabbed what she needed and walked off to finish her errands so she didn’t have to speak to this role taking backstabbing angel! Susie stopped when she saw a hand grab her kart stopping Susie in her tracks. “Listen Susie. Could we talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Susie replied. She tried to walk off again, but Allison held firmly on her kart.

“Please Susie. I need to speak to you.” Allison begged. Susie sighed. Allison wasn’t going to stop till Susie spoke to her,  “What do you want?” Susie asked.

“I’m inviting you to lunch at a café I love to go too. I figured it would be a nice place to talk.” Allison concluded. Susie wasn’t sure about where this talk with Allison would lead too. Did Joey send Allison to tell Susie she’s fired and kicked out of the studio like how Joey did with Sammy when he told her that Susie got replaced?

However, Susie’s stomach told her that she’s hungry and needs food as soon as possible. Susie had no other choice, “I guess I’ll come with you.” Susie groaned, even though she didn’t want too.

Allison smiled. “Great! Now,” she took Susie’s list. “Let me help you with your list. I’ve done my shopping already so let me help with yours!” Allison grabbed the end of the kart so she can make Susie’s shopping trip faster. Susie could do her shopping herself, and didn’t need Pendle to help her around the store, Susie knew her way around the store. Allison got what Susie needed and even helped paid for Susie’s groceries, which Susie didn’t need she had her own money, why was Allison being so sweet to her all of a sudden. Something was up.

By the time they were done, Allison dragged Susie to where the café she wanted to chat at. Allison hummed a song while Susie just wanted to jump on to the oncoming traffic and get ran over by any of the passing cars. “Okay here we are!” Allison beamed. Susie looked up and was surprised at the café they were at.

Café Fleur

Susie loved coming to this café, she took Sammy to this café once on a date and even took Wally for his birthday since no one wanted to celebrate. This was one of the places that truly made her happy. “I didn’t know you go here?” Susie asked.

“Yep. I’ve been coming here for a while with Sammy and the rest of the band members. He told me you like this place.” Allison pointed out.

This was the first time since taking her role, but Allison swore she saw Susie give a small smile. “Y-yeah he’s right about that.” She said quietly. Allison took Susie’s hand and they headed inside the café seated at the table.

They both looked at the menu’s seeing what they should order, but first their waiter asked what they wanted to drink. “Vanilla coffee.” Susie and Allison said at the same time. The two actresses stared in shock as their water jotted down their order and left leaving the two girls shocked and confused.

“Okay, this is getting creepy. How do you like the same coffee I like?” Susie asked. “Are you trying hard to be my friend, because I’ve listened to radio shows and movies, I know how this works.” Susie explained.

“I’m not acting or anything, Susie.” Allison replied. Susie glared crossing her arms not batting an eye at Allison. Allison sighed getting quiet. Their coffee came and Susie drank it not looking at Allison.  “Look.” Allison started making Susie look at her, “we got off the wrong foot I want to start over.” She explained. “I felt bad I took your role, when I took the job it was to be part of the band and cater the lunches at the studio. Joey came to me and told me about the job and when I heard you were being replaced I felt bad.” She explained.

Susie listened to Allison and realized what she was saying was the truth. There wasn’t a lie or some form of acting in her voice. “How could Joey just hire you out of the blue like that?” Susie asked.

Allison shrugged. “I don’t know. All I heard from Tom and Norman was that Joey has been acting strange.” Allison looked at Susie, she’s been seeing Joey a lot lately has she seen or hear anything strange? “Does Joey act strange at all too you?” Allison asked.

Now that Allison mentioned it Joey has been talking about “appeasing the gods” and “dreams coming to life” more then recently. Then just yesterday she heard Joey arguing with Grant and his secretary. She mentioned this stuff to Allison, but before they could continue on their talk about Joey they ordered their food, and once they ate they talked more about Joey’s weirdness.

“It’s a funny thing, Joey’s never been like this before. Ever since Henry left.” Susie mentioned.

“Henry?” Allison asked. That name was never familiar to her.

“You weren’t hired, but he was Joey’s best friend, the co-owner or should I say former co-owner of the studio animator and the creator of Bendy, Boris and Alice.” Susie explained.

Allison was intrigued! Joey never mentioned Henry to her nor he was the original creator of the toons. “Joey never told me Henry created Bendy and his friends, how did you-“

“Pendle, when you dated Joey he tells you everything.” Susie mentioned. Allison wasn’t sure to feel angry and betrayed or surprised and confused. Joey kept this all from her.

“What else do you know?” Allison asked with a smile interested over this Henry Stein and what else Joey has been hiding behind her back. Susie smiled excited to tell Allison everything. Maybe starting over wouldn’t be a bad thing after all.

The next morning, Lacie walked into the studio for another day of wild moron workers playing around the Bendyland games. However, to her surprise she saw Allison and Susie talking and laughing. She shook her head hoping this was a dream or Joey put something in her drink a few nights ago because usually Susie and Allison are fighting then laughing.

“Uh what is going on?” Lacie asked.

Susie and Allison looked up at the confused. Bendyland worker. “Oh Lacie! So glad you’re here! I’m just talking with my best friend Alli!”

Alli? Lacie thought to herself. Okay its official Joey put something in her drink.

“We had a great day off yesterday, we ran into each other at the store, went to the café, did shopping and spent the entire day at Susie’s apartment.” Allison explained.

Lacie wasn’t sure what to say, she never had any of these girl talks before and hope she would never be pulled into one. “That’s…great.” She replied giving thumbs up.

“I know!” Susie beamed. She gasped looking at Allison. “Lacie you should join us!”

“No.” Lacie replied before walking away not wanting to deal with this and walking off. Allison and Susie looked at each other and shared a laugh.

[lovemesomerafael]

No One Else                               Chapter 2:  A Picture Of Love

Source:  @adacarisi​

Chapter 1   Read It On AO3

Kate hears a knock at her door and wonders who is bothering her at nine thirty on a Tuesday night.  She decides not to answer it.  Let whoever it is think whatever they want, she’s tired and she’s sad and she’s got a head and a heart full of Sonny Carisi, who looked so good this morning she just wants to sit here and replay every second over and over like a weepy love song.  Whoever it is knocks again, harder this time.  If they knock a third time, they’re gonna get put on blast and if she gets physical, it won’t be her fault.  They knock a third time.

Kate swears and swings her legs off her couch.  She’s wearing yoga pants and a T-shirt and her boobs have done their mandatory hours in a bra for today, so if the person has a problem with her being braless, they’re out of luck.  She looks out the peephole and gasps.

She can’t form thoughts and her fingers are suddenly only marginally under her control as she fumbles with the locks and opens the door.  Sonny is leaning against the wall next to her door, still wearing his suit from this morning and looking a little rumpled.  He seems just a bit nervous as he looks uncertainly at her with a guilty grin.  He doesn’t talk and neither does she.  She just pulls him inside and he takes her into his arms, kicking the door closed behind him as he covers her mouth with his.  They’re not the most technically proficient kisses ever, because both of them are too desperate and hungry for each other to focus on technique.  They just need to get as close as possible as fast as possible.  It’s like breathing again after suffocating all this time.  They’re gasping and groaning immediately, and as soon as Kate starts to push Sonny’s suit coat off his shoulders, he knows he’d been right to come – as if he could have stopped himself.  

They’re clumsy and a little rough as they pull eachother’s clothes off on the way to her bedroom, and he almost falls over trying to get his shoes off.  Taking their lips from each other’s seems physically painful; every time they have to break off their kisses to pull some item of clothing off or to climb onto the bed, they rush back together again as if afraid the spell will be broken and this won’t really be happening.  There is nothing close to finesse or foreplay; Sonny’s inside Kate as soon as he can get on top of her and she can get her legs around him.  

That’s when they start talking.  It’s more like gasping words between kisses and cries of indulgent joy.  The point isn’t to reach a destination, at least for now. They’re there.  What they need is closeness.  Connection.  They need to be Sonny and Kate again.  They’re sure to come at some point, but right now all they want is this, to be as close as they can get, gorging themselves on each other after starving since the day Sonny left for his new life in Manhattan.

“Oh, fuck, Sonny…  I missed you so much…  I love you… Shit, you feel good…  I love you, you have no idea…”

“Awwww, Katie, I love you…  Shit, I – fuck, Kate – I missed you every minute of every day…”

“Me, too-“

“I had to see you.  I couldn’t stand it…”

“I’m so glad!  So glad you’re here…”

They change the order of the words, but the message is the same, over and over. It seems like forever that they just move together, be together, saying all the things they’re feeling, both noticing with relieved joy that they’re the same things.

Sonny pulls out eventually because he needs to touch Kate everywhere, needs to get his mouth on her breasts, but he doesn’t go far, and pretty soon he’s back inside her. He can feel in the way she’s grinding her hips against him that she’s becoming more goal-oriented.  He doesn’t want to come yet - he wants more time with his cock buried in this woman who is as necessary to him as oxygen - but she can come a lot more times than he can so he’s happy to help.

“Tell me what you need,” he groans, looking down at her as he slows his rhythm just a little.

“Me… on top-“  That’s all the words she can get out as he rolls them over.  Once she can move against him any way she needs to, it isn’t long before she’s crying out and shuddering.  When she starts to come down, he pulls her down to his chest, running his fingers through her hair the way he’d wanted to this morning, and holding her close.  He’s only gently rocking his pelvis now, keeping the intimate connection he craves while he lets her catch her breath.  

In a minute, Kate lifts up enough to deposit a series of kisses across the parts of his chest she can reach before raising up on her arms to look into his eyes.  

“I love you, Carisi Homicide,” she whispers.

“I love you, too, Baby.  I love you, too.”

He rolls them over again, beginning the long, languid strokes he especially loves, while he kisses her slow and deep.  He’s feeling less desperate now, not as voraciously needy, and he thinks he might be able to survive just clinging to her naked body.  It’s not quite as necessary to actually be inside her anymore. Besides, she feels so fucking good and it’s been so damn long and it’s not like this with anyone else and oh, shit, the wave is rolling through him now and he starts to come and his mind goes completely offline and he thinks it’s the longest orgasm he’s ever had.  

Lying together, arms and legs hopelessly tangled because they still need to be as close as possible, they don’t try to talk about what comes next.  That’s too much right now, too hard.  Right now, they feel complete and at rest for the first time in years and it’s enough.  It’s plenty. Kate asks if Sonny can stay, and he says he’ll have to get up at a hideous hour in the morning, but he’s not going anywhere.  

She dozes with her face buried in his neck, but Sonny doesn’t sleep.  He strokes her back and her hair, reveling in the weight of her on his chest.  Where she belongs.  He’s going to have to figure something out.  And he will.  They live in the same city, for fuck’s sake.  It’s a ridiculously huge city, for sure, and the price to be together is going to be insanely high, but it always was.  And now Sonny knows that he’s going to pay it, whatever it is, because he’s been half alive. He’s not giving Kate up again.  

Later, Kate wakes up when Sonny shifts position.  There’s no moment of sleepy confusion; she knows it’s him and remembers what’s happened.  She’s still laying in his arms with a leg between his, but she’s just far enough away that she can focus her eyes on him.  He’s very warm, almost too warm, but there is no part of her that’s tempted to move further away from him.  She lays there, smelling the scent of him that she’s ached for and just looking at him. His hair is FUBAR, and it’s sexy as hell, because of the way it got like that.  She smiles a secret little smile.  Sonny is here, in her bed, in her arms.  All is right with the world.  He came to her.  He said that he couldn’t stand being apart.  There is no decision to be made.  Tomorrow, she will request a transfer to Manhattan Narcotics and, if it isn’t granted, raise holy hell until it is, or simply quit.  She has no idea what she can do instead, and she hopes she won’t have to figure it out, but she’ll dig ditches twelve hours a day if she can come home to this.  To him.

His eyes blink open and he grins sleepily.  “You watchin’ me sleep?”

“Kinda.  Mostly I was just thinking about you.”

Sonny makes a lazy, drowsy sound of happiness and pulls Kate to him.  

“I love you,” he murmurs, almost asleep again already.

Yeah. Kate will do whatever it takes, because she’s not giving Sonny up again.

As long as they’re both awake, though, she lets her hands wander.  He doesn’t protest when she strokes him to hardness and then climbs on top of him, murmuring words of love while she slowly rides him until they both come.

********

About a year after Sonny moved to Manhattan, Ahmad Washington had made Sergeant.  He remained Kate’s partner until the Captain finally had the inevitable heart attack, when Washington was appointed Acting Commander of the unit. Kate had never known that anyone actually lived the cliché of retiring to Boca Raton, but the Captain did exactly that and whenever they heard from him, he said he was living the dream.

Washington didn’t get the job as Commander – NYPD wanted at least a lieutenant in that position, so they transferred one in – but he pretty much runs the unit. The Lieu is a politician with his eyes on One PP, and doesn’t really like to get his hands dirty with things like details.  So it’s Washington to whom Kate goes the next morning.  They know each other well, and he knows she’s got something on her mind.

“You’re about to ask me for something.”  His tone isn’t unkind, but he’s turned out to be the kind of boss who runs a tight ship.  Their long partnership and his deep fondness for Kate notwithstanding, he doesn’t do her special favors.  She respects him for it.

Her face tells him it’s something big.  She doesn’t look right, like she didn’t get much sleep the night before or something. When she calls him ‘Ahmad’, he realizes this is going to be serious.

“Ahmad, you know how I feel about you, and about the 92nd.  I’ve been in Brooklyn North my whole career, and it’s always going to be home.  But I gotta go.”

Washington says nothing, just runs his hand over his bald head like he does.  He feels gut punched.  He’ll never understand how a middle-aged black man can have such affinity with this disaster-prone white girl.  Their backgrounds and their lives are nothing alike.  But then again, they were partners.  They’ve been through some shit together.  Saved each other’s lives a few times.  

“I’m requesting a transfer to Manhattan.  I’ll take anything in Manhattan, but if I could specify, I’d ask for Manhattan South. And I want it yesterday.”

“May I ask why the sudden need for a transfer yesterday?”

“That’s where Sonny is.”

Washington raises an eyebrow.  “He’s been there, what?  A few years now.  And I thought you two were over a long time ago.”

“We were.  Well, we weren’t, but you remember what happened.  We couldn’t make it work with him there and me here, and the Cap wouldn’t let me transfer.”

“He was right.  You wouldn’t be where you are now if you’d transferred out.”

“I know.  But this time, I’m not taking no for an answer.”

Washington tapped his pen thoughtfully on his desk blotter.  “I didn’t know you two were back together.”

“I’m telling you now.”  Kate’s not going to explain that she saw Sonny for the first time since their breakup just the day before, because if she does, she knows Washington will make her wait.  He’ll think this is a snap decision based on nothing but hormones and he’ll tell her to give herself time to think it through.  She doesn’t want to.  She doesn’t need to.

“Kinsella, be sure.  Because I think we can make it happen this time.  But, you know how it is.  Once you transfer, that’s a bell you can’t un-ring.”

“I know.  And I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

“All right.  If you’re sure.  I’m gonna miss the hell out of you, but if this is what you want, let’s do the paperwork. I’ll handle the Lieu.”

***********

Sonny is starting a trial.  The biggest one of his career, although that’s not saying much, since his law career is just beginning.  He has no time for anything else.  He had no time to go to Brooklyn the night before, but after seeing Kate in the courtroom, after holding her again, it wasn’t optional.  Today, he has no room in his head for anything but this case, although Kate is in there, anyway.  She told him this morning to focus on the trial, that they’ve waited this long, they can wait a little longer to figure things out.  So that’s what he’s trying to do.  But he’s still getting aftershocks, because he keeps flashing back to Kate’s cries the night before, the way she’d felt, the way she’d smelled… He thinks he can still taste her, although that’s probably his imagination.

He calls her that night from his tiny little office.  He loves his office.  He knows it’s not anything like Barba’s office – no, Chief Hadid’s now - and he’s fine with that.  It’s enough to know that he, Sonny Carisi, has a room at One Hogan Place with his name on it.  He can only imagine what Barba would say about this closet of an office – nothing kind, that’s for sure.  But Sonny thinks that there would be a tiny bit of respect hidden beneath whatever snide remark Barba would make.  Barba would have grudgingly – very grudgingly – admitted that he’d done well.  He doesn’t know where Barba is – nobody does – and he sends up a quick prayer that, wherever he is, he’s ok.

Kate picks up on the third ring.  She’s out at a crime scene, but she has time to tell him she loves him, and that he is not supposed to be thinking about her right now.

“Tell that to my brain,” he replies.  She can hear the little smile in his voice, and imagines his pink lips, just the barest hint of teeth showing, and his eyes twinkling.  

He makes her promise to stay with him the night before she has to testify, and to meet him the night his trial ends, no matter what.  They both know their lives don’t let them make promises like that, but she promises anyway.  They just like the idea that they will see each other again soon.

 ***************

Kate is nervous.  Sonny says the trial is going well, and she’s not nervous about testifying.  She has a great new suit to wear, and it has pants, so she doesn’t even have to deal with nylons.  But sitting here at some restaurant called Forlini’s near Sonny’s office the night before she’s scheduled to testify, she is nervous about what she’s getting ready to say.  It’s one thing to talk about ‘making it work’.  It’s another to actually take concrete steps, change her life, to be closer to Sonny. After all, it’s been years.  Sure, they seem to fit together as well as they always have, but what if they’ve changed in ways they just haven’t recognized yet?  What if he just wants a physical relationship and when he said “work things out”, he didn’t really mean “get back together”?  Maybe she’s jumped the gun asking for a transfer.

“You know, I could always tell when you had somethin’ to say, and you were workin’ up the nerve to say it.”  Kate focuses on the crinkles around Sonny’s eyes as he smiles.  

“And, apparently, you still can.”  She says. “I do have something to tell you.”

“Everything OK?”  Sonny’s expressive face registers his concern.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.  It’s just that…  I, um… did something.  And now that it’s done, I think it might have been a little premature.”

“What did you do?”

“I, um…”  She looks into his eyes, willing him to react favorably to this.  “I asked for a transfer to Manhattan South.”

Sonny’s grin starts immediately.  It’s small at first, although his eyes are already in full smile mode.  Kate watches it grow until it changes his whole face, and he glows like someone lit a candle inside him.  “Katie, that’s…  Holy shit. Yeah, I mean… that could work.  That would be… perfect.”

She’s relieved.  “Are you sure?  You’re not feeling, I don’t know, stalked?”

“Hell, no!  How many times have I said I want to be with you?  Did you think I was just sayin’ that?”

“I know, but it’s been a long time.  I just didn’t want you to feel pressured, like if I move to Manhattan, that means you’re obligated somehow.”

“Look, I get what you’re sayin’.  It’s fast. We just found each other again.  We can go slow.  I mean, not sexually, cuz obviously that’s not gonna happen, but…” Kate’s insides turn to mush when he smiles at her like that.  “No pressure. We could…”  Sonny tries to keep it light, but he was never good at hiding his feelings, and he doesn’t want to now.  She might be skittish, but he isn’t. “Katie, I never felt for anyone what I feel for you.  Nobody even came close.   So I want you here, and I know you’d do great here.  This is right.  This is what I want.”

“Me, too.”  

They hold hands across the table.  The looks they’re giving each other make a couple of people in the restaurant smirk, and the waiter gives them a few minutes before bringing their dinners.  He’s seen the guy here before, he’s a cop or something, but he’s never seen the chick.  The cop guy always seemed like kind of a goofball.  He’s not surprised to see him acting like such a lovesick fool with his girl.  

 After dinner, they decide to walk to Sonny’s apartment.  It’s a nice night, they’re together, and suddenly they have time. They’ve both been looking forward to tonight, but somewhere in both their minds has been the sense that it would be like their night together the week before: stolen and frenzied, with an element of trying to get enough of each other to last through the long, lonely time to come.  Now, with the possibility that they might actually have a chance to be together, to make a life together, things feel a little different.  There’s less desperation.  It feels like they can relax a bit and just enjoy each other.

But they’re still looking forward to reaching Sonny’s apartment, where they can be alone together.  Kate’s feeling relieved; Sonny couldn’t have reacted better to the news that she’d requested a transfer.  Now she wants to get him naked and prove to him that having her here would be a good thing. Sonny’s feeling a lot of things.  He’d decided to do whatever it took to be with Kate, but he’s a little relieved not to have to give up the life he’s building. And he’s grateful as hell to her for being the one to make the sacrifice, even though, realistically, she’s the only one who could at this point.  Career-wise, it might actually be good for her.  But he feels a huge responsibility; she’s uprooting her entire life for him. He wants to get her naked and prove to her that he’s worth it.

A woman comes up behind them, calling Sonny’s name breathlessly, as though she’s been running to catch up with them.  She’s flushed and a little sweaty.  Her glasses are a little fogged up on the inside and she takes them off and wipes them on the tail of her shirt.  She’s looking at Sonny as though he is her lord and savior, manifested here on Earth and just about to deliver the secret of eternal joy.  She does not look at Kate.  At all.

“Hi, Sonny,” she says, in a voice that’s a bit nasal and more than a bit flirtatious.  

“Oh, hey, Mary,” Sonny replies.  Kate hasn’t seen Sonny for quite a while, but she doesn’t have to be a detective to sense that, underneath his friendly demeanor, he’s not happy to see this woman. He’s uncomfortable.  “Headed home?”

“Yeah,” she responds, smiling too much.  “I finished putting together your binders for your witnesses tomorrow.”

“Oh, thanks.  I appreciate it.  Uh, Mary Duderon, my assistant,” he turns to Kate, putting an arm around her.  “This is Kate Kinsella.”  He looks Kate in the eye, smiling.  “My girlfriend.”

Kate feels lightheaded hearing that and beams at Sonny.  

Mary isn’t beaming.  She’s also not looking at Kate when she mutters, “Hey.”  

Then she turns the smile back on and starts asking Sonny whether he wants something or other.  Kate doesn’t know what she’s talking about.  Sonny kindly tells her it’s not necessary, whatever it is.  Mary looks disappointed.  Kate thinks Mary’s neck probably hurts at the end of a day if she spends the whole time looking up at Sonny like that, because Mary is not much over five feet tall. She’s carrying a good fifty extra pounds for a frame that size and, as a result, her proportions make her look decidedly square.  She so obviously has a crush on Sonny that Kate thinks about how they’d look as a couple. Weird, Kate decides.  She can’t really feel jealous, because she’s not getting any attraction from Sonny at all to this short, squat woman.  In fact - and this surprises Kate - he seems to feel the opposite.  He’s actually backing up a little as Mary crowds into his personal space.  Which seems like a strange thing for her to be doing, when he’s holding hands with another woman he’s just introduced as his girlfriend.

“Well, Mary, we’re gonna get goin’.  Goodnight,” he says, turning around and pulling on Kate’s hand as he begins to walk a little fast.  He puts his arm back around Kate, squeezing her possessively, which she likes but she’s pretty sure it’s not for her benefit.  

“Bye, Sonny,” they hear Mary call plaintively after him.

Neither Sonny nor Kate say anything for about half a block.  Kate’s not sure how to talk about what just happened. Teasing Sonny about it doesn’t feel right, because he seems a little disturbed by it.  

“Sorry about that,” he finally mutters.  “She’s my assistant.  Well, mine and two other ADAs.  She’s a little… I dunno.”

“She has a crush on you.”

“I know.  It’s kinda embarrassing.”

Kate shrugs.  “Makes perfect sense to me.  I have a crush on you, too.”

Sonny blushes and smiles down at his feet.  

“Is she good at her job?”

“Yeah.  Yeah, she is. I mean, I never had an assistant before, so I don’t really have anything to compare her to, but she gets me what I need, and she definitely makes my life easier.”

“Then don’t worry about it.  Just keep your distance.”

“She’ll get over it pretty soon, dontcha think?”

Kate laughs and squeezes Sonny as they walk.  “I’m the wrong person to ask.  I never did.”

 *********

Sonny had to do a lot of work in advance in order to be able to take a whole night off with Kate during the trial.  It was infinitely worth it, and Kate’s testimony this morning was devastating to the defense.  But now she’s back in Brooklyn and he’s playing catch-up, and he didn’t exactly get a good night’s sleep.  It’s after seven p.m. and he’s not getting out of the office anytime soon. 

He looks at the little snapshot of himself and Kate propped against his desk lamp and grins just a little.  For a few bucks, you can have a picture of you and your dinner companions taken at Forlini’s, and they print it out for you right then.  It’s not much, but it’s the only picture of them he has to put on his desk, and he’s ridiculously happy about having it there to look at whenever he wants.  

Mary comes in with some things for him to sign.  She’s been slightly off today.  Her mousy brown hair looks like it hasn’t been washed, and she looks a little sad, or angry, or annoyed.  Something. It’s hard to put his finger on, but it’s there.  He would think it was about seeing him with Kate last night, but Mary’s seen him date a couple of other women.  Granted, he didn’t introduce them as his girlfriend, but even so, she didn’t seem to react to them.  So maybe it’s something else.  Sonny doesn’t have time to worry about it.

Maurice sticks his head in the door.  “Hey, Carisi, you remember my weenie-waver?  The one on the carousel?”

“Yeah?”  Sonny smiles. It’s a good story.  No kids were hurt; they reacted by laughing and pointing.  One of the moms took video with her phone until another mom punched the guy out and sat on him until the cops arrived.  

“He pled out in five minutes.  I didn’t even have time to set my briefcase down.  Which means I win the pool for this week.”

“Nice,” Sonny laughs as Mary silently shuffles out of his office.  

Maurice watches her leave and then asks conspiratorially, “What’d you do to Sister Mary Dude Ranch?”

“So I’m not just imagining it.”

“Naw, man, she’s pissed at you.  I don’t think you’re gettin’ any tonight, bro.”

“Knock it off.”

“Don’t worry.  It’s probably not over between you two.  She’s just mad.  I’m sure she still wants to have your babies.”  Maurice loves to tease Sonny about this.  

“Fuck off.  I got work to do.”

Maurice walks away, laughing.

************

The last day of the trial finally arrives.  Sonny cannot wait for it to be over.  Sure, it’s exciting to be part of a major criminal trial, but it’s also exhausting and Sonny needs a break.  He’s thrilled when, just after three in the afternoon, the case gets turned over to the jury.  He kinda hopes their deliberations take a while.  He’d love to get a little nap in his office.  

He dumps his briefcase on his desk and hangs up his jacket on the hanger behind his door, then rolls up his shirtsleeves as he walks around his desk to sit and text Kate.  He reflexively glances over at the picture of them at Forlini’s.  It’s not there.  He thinks it must have gotten mixed up with some papers on his desk, but he sifts through them and doesn’t find it.  He looks around on the floor.  Not there. He looks everywhere again.  He likes that picture.  He has some on his phone - a couple of Kate and some silly selfies they took when she was in Manhattan - but that’s the only one on paper and, besides, it’s a good picture.  Where’d it go?  

He spends ten minutes looking, and now he’s sure it’s not in his office.  

Mary comes in with some coffee and a cookie from the place he likes down the street. She’s smiling and happy today.  “I brought you a treat, to celebrate the end of your trial,” she says, too enthusiastically.

Sonny is irritated.  He can’t help but wonder if she took his picture because she’s jealous of Kate. It seems like an overreaction on his part, and he takes a deep breath to make sure he doesn’t snap at her.  “Well, we don’t have a verdict, yet.”

“I know.  We’ll celebrate the end of the trial now, and then when you get a conviction, we’ll celebrate that.”  She smiles cheerfully.  

“Hey, have you seen that little picture that was here by my lamp?  Of me and Kate at Forlini’s?”

Mary glances over at the lamp with just the slightest edge of distaste in her expression.  “Haven’t seen a picture.”

Sonny gives it up, leans back in his chair with his long legs stretched out in front of him, and texts Kate.  He doesn’t tell her about the picture.

[heterowomanist]

Longing for Lamb My Holy Week Reflection in the midst of a Pandemic Gospel of Truth 17:8-16 (A New New Testament Translation) By Rev. Stephanie A. Duzant 4/10/2020

For as long as I can remember, I have always had at least one meal made with lamb during Holy Week. Growing up, my grandmother would make lamb for Easter and serve it with a little mint jelly on the side.  I remember my mother making lamb chops with potatoes a few times.  But the Lamb meal that I most fondly remember is the lamb that was served at St. Matthew’s Community A.M.E. Church of Hollis, Queens NY, during the Maundy Thursday Service.

For more than 15 years the Stewardess board would facilitate the meal and service. It was not a reenactment of the last supper, but a remembrance of it.  Lamb, pita bread, lettuce greens, horse radish and an apple and nut mixture were the menu for the evening, to commemorate the food that was served during the Passover meal that Jesus shared with his disciples.  We would fellowship over the meal and then there was a reflection on what the last supper of Jesus meant to us as modern-day believers.  The sacredness of this event within my faith community was never lost on me.  

I moved to Nevada 6 months ago.  I have worked hard to adjust to this west coast way of living.  I have found new ways of keeping up my faith traditions. I fellowship with a wonderful A.M.E. Church here in the valley, and was ready to participate in all the Lent and Holy Week activities and then, Covid-19 hit. The Stay-At-Home order from the governor brought all of my grand plans to a screeching halt.  In order to slow down the spread of this monster of a virus folks would have to stay in. No school, no work, no social gatherings, no church.  

I was dealing with it fine until I got to Palm Sunday. I am grateful to be shut in with my immediate family, but I was missing my church family in NY and my church family in Nevada. I needed some familiarity, so I turned to what was handed down to me from generations of mothers before me.  I would cook.  I started looking at where I could buy a piece of lamb to carry on the ritual. Just then my family reminded me that eating meat was no longer good for my digestive system.  I wanted to dispute them but I couldn’t because they were right.  We have vowed as a family to do all we can to keep ourselves healthy and our immune systems as strong as possible so that if we did contract the virus, we would be able to have a fighting chance to beat it.  My search for lamb abruptly ended.

I began to lament for my Holy Week lamb.  Yet, it was really not the lamb that I was lamenting, but the loss of a faith tradition, and a way of life that was sweetly familiar to my soul. I was lamenting that I was far away from loved ones, and a place that I could no longer call home. A place where people I love dearly are battling a virus that is running rampant in their streets. I was lamenting the days of socializing and fellowshipping without restrictions, boundaries and cyber windows. I was lamenting a way of life I once found so tangibly familiar, that was now in its 4th week of my past.

At times I can only call familiar to these (because I have never been through anything like this before) I turn to sacred text for wisdom filled guidance and assurance. And of late, it has been text found in the Nag Hammadi that has taken my Blessed Assurance to new depths of understanding.  

“For what is the sabbath?  A day on which it is inappropriate for salvation to be idle.  Speak of the day from above which has no night and of the perfect light that does not set.  Say then from the heart that you have the perfect day and within you dwells the light that never ends.  Speak of the truth with those who have sinned through their transgressions.  Strengthen the feet of those who stumble and stretch your hands to those who are weak.  Feed those who are hungry and give rest to the weary.  Raise those who wish to arise and awaken those who sleep - for you all are understanding drawn forth.  If strength does these things, strength becomes stronger.”  

~~~ The Gospel of Truth 17:8-16, ANNT Translation

 And just like that God speaks to my anxiety, anger and grief through this powerful portion of Early Christian text.  Written at a time when Christianity as a religion, and the church as an institution were still new and in development. The writer is believed to be Valentinus by some scholars, who was deemed a heretic after leaving the Catholic church to start his own group in the 2nd Century.  

The writer reminds folks that the sabbath is not just a mere day that centuries of Jewish law has told us it was.  The sabbath is every day, because there is no day that is appropriate for salvation to be idle.  The text reminds us that the light that never ends is within us, and that we should use that light to encourage ourselves and those around us, for that is how the strength within remains and gets stronger.  

Yes, things are changing and there is trouble and uncertainty everywhere, but in this Sankofa moment within my 2020 Holy Week, I am to strengthen my faith by never forgetting that although there will be no lamb to eat this weekend, the Lamb of God is always with me.  Even when traditions have to be let go of, and new ways of being have to be embraced. In times like these, I am to share the Lamb in any and all ways now possible.  That gives me hope, and hope gives me strength to adjust in any way I need to, to keep me and my faith alive.  

So, I will welcome the Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday Sunrise Service live streams. I will welcome all the Zoom conferences and meetings, the teleconference prayer line calls; and all the Facetime, WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook Messenger video calls and group chats that I can get.  For where two or three are gathered, God is surely in the midst. And those are the midst that matter the most to our everyday living.  

Imagine, a text once deemed heresy and unorthodox, now being the saving grace of my Christian Spirituality.  Times are definitely a-changing…and thank God, I am here for it!

[littlesilverplatinum]

Visions, and a Miracle

---

Hikari hadn’t dreamt of him, ever since she arrived in Johto just short of a month ago. April went by as quickly as it had arrived – and with it, the constant downfall was replaced with something that better resembled the springs she knew like the back of her hand. The early break of summer was evident, as her bedding had been changed to better fit the rising temperatures.

Though it would seem – as she moved her legs beneath the light covers draped over her small frame – that another changing would be in need…

How embarrassing.

--Hikari hadn’t dreamt of him, ever since she arrived in Johto just short of a month ago. But on this night, after a meal she hadn’t felt she needed (though, when was she ever truly hungry? It felt like years, even though much less than that had come to pass) – his hold of her throat had crept up upon her as though he was a nightmare abstractly created into a physical form. And that she had been anywhere but his void – within the bedroom her father grew up in – had perhaps been what frightened her the worst.

Because, truly; Giratina should not be anywhere but within his own personal hellscape.

(Yet he had awoken her with a start – or at least, from the slumber within her dream of which she had fashioned herself to take. Towering over her body, hands that looked nothing like that of Pokémon; but of man, forcing her down against her mattress by the shape of her shoulders. --And as though he was nothing but a fickle manifestation within her own mind – no features could be seen.

Nothing but a dark, blurry void of which would swallow her whole should she not escape him.

But that, too, was impossible. Even if she very well tried to move her limbs, even though she wanted to struggle – she couldn’t. For osmium coursed through her veins and weighed her down, and the taste of metal sat prominent against the swell of her tongue.

Upon his own, tar spilled with each accusation he made.

‘You left me’, he said – as though she had ever tried to do anything but. ‘You’re not here, you’re gone.’

And as the blurred shape of his hand raised from her shoulder to settle against her throat – to test its limits, as air ceased to fill her lungs and the silence that rang clear within her ear became almost deafening; he lowered himself to mist his hazy breath against its shell. --Tar, staining her skin past recognition.

‘Where are you, my lamb?’

‘I should kill you, for your faults. I should violate your body and leave you broken for the world to see.’

A breath, a hitch – and it’s as though tendrils spew from his fingertips and pierce through her skin. Breaking flesh as they wrap around her vocal cords, her airways, in a much more hands-on manner than previously displayed. And Hikari finds it in her to shake, to move, and wrap her own around the void that is his wrist – and finds that there’s nothing for her to grasp at.

She’s helpless.

‘… Come back to me, lamb. Your home is with me.’)

A knock upon her door, before it slid open to invite daybreaks light inside. Beyond it, Masae watched her with kind, charcoal eyes. --Before the older woman got the chance to speak, however, Hikari voiced her humiliation.

Her shame.

“I wet the bed.”

---

The days surprising summer gale was something not adored by the young new resident, yet Hikari found herself taking refugee outside still. Laid on her side upon the porch lining the perimeter of the aged farmhouse, her feet rubbed together through thin knee-high stockings – a motion that, subconsciously, was rather soothing and comforting. --Something she felt the need for, however little, after the mornings events.

And if there ever had been an inkling of a doubt of the reality within her actions – how real her dream had truly felt, then she need just turn her head to the fields below to catch sight of the laundry line stretching between the toolshed and a single wooden beam.

Basking in the sunshine, her thin mattress as well as bedding joined the rest of the laundry for the day.

But Hikari dared not look to it, rather taking care in finding interest within every chip of wood that she could uproot with her fingernails. (That they were in need trimming was a matter to focus on at a later date.) Something she perhaps shouldn’t do, but wasn’t that just the sort of thing befitting someone like herself?

To do wrong, when there truly was no need for fault.

(‘I should kill you, for your faults…’)

--The pads of her fingers find their way against her cheeks. And they press, as hard as they can, to leave dents of crescent moons within her skin.

(‘… I should violate your body and leave you broken for the world to see.’)

The soft thud of bare feet across wooden boards’ reach her ears, and the world as it is builds up before her once more. Losing the ringing, the tightness within her chest, until she sees the hem of her grandmothers’ skirt just a few short steps before her. --Her gaze turned upward, but Masae doesn’t meet it.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” she would comment – and Hikari need her not to explain what she means. Her knees tuck against her chest, as though she’s a child who’s getting scolded for bad behavior. Yet Masae continues down a different road, “… Koh wet his bed up until he turned fifteen, so it’s no wonder a daughter of his would have the same issues. Though, you are a little past those years now.”

Mentally, Hikari corrects her – that she truly was but fifteen. --And perhaps, just maybe, there was a swell within her chest about the fact that she carried similarities with her father. However meaningless, or circumstantial, those may be.

She had to pry, as much as she was allowed. Wasn’t it just the right of a daughter, to learn about her father? “… How come? Nightmares?”

Worn hands kneaded together, and Masae seemed to truly consider her next words. Dark eyes saw beyond their small space – past the rice papers that served as walls, holes gnawed away by wild Spinaraks’ letting rays of sunlight seep through its wake, to where her husband worked tirelessly within a field he rightfully should’ve retired from tending long ago.

The chirping of birds, echoing across the valley.

“I find it unlikely, though I only have my own guesses to go off of…”

A moment of silence, before the older woman bent at her waist to lay a hand to rest against Hikari’s shoulder.

(She tried her best not to wince.)

“Why don’t you come help me inside, and I’ll tell you a story.”

---

That she had wandered the beaten path of a trainer in her younger years was a matter that her paternal grandparents didn’t exactly see in a positive light. Which is why, should Hikari desire to stretch her ‘pets’ limbs – then they would rather she does it away from their home. --Why, had never been fully explained. And so when Masae revealed that her son once had owned a Pokémon of his own, it was hard for doubt not to ring clear within Hikari’s tone.

“… A Jolteon?” She questioned, the motion of rinsing rice momentarily pausing. Masae clicked her tongue in agreement, as though she herself could not believe such a thing.

“Grandpa is an old friend of Mr. Saito up in Ecruteak.” She explained. When no further sounds came from her granddaughter, she elaborated – voice cast over her shoulder. “He is the breeder that supplies the Dance Theater with its cast. So, we figured it would be a fairly safe creature to keep around the farm.”

A beat of silence.

“… That thing almost killed him.”

---

Johto, outskirts of Ecruteak City – 19xx

---

Koh had always been a boy who lacked interest in all things social. When housing guests, events, for the other independent households of their small agricultural community – the Otsu’s young boy had stayed more interested in digging dents within the soil than to act as the dapper young man his parents thought him to be.

“It’s a phase,” the guests would chuckle as Masae’s frown became more prominent. “Our own boys were just like him. He will grow out of it.”

--He had earned himself but one friend to call his own within his admittedly short life. A neighboring boy coming from a different family tree. Hannes, as was evident by his name and appearance, was a child born from foreigners. Birthed within the aged region, yes, yet stood out all the same.

(Never once had he been heard speaking his parents’ mother tongue.)

Because of his orange locks and freckled frame, Hannes distanced himself from the other children of the area. Enough, to where Koh had felt confident in sharing in those faults. Because of a speech impediment that haunted every word he spoke since the day he first learned to call his mother by name, the two stuck together like glue. Koh didn’t judge Hannes for his appearance, while Hannes returned the favor. Being patient, as the other struggled to say the most simple of things.

The boys would eventually be known to hide away together within the forests around the Otsu property, playing by the nearby creek and dirtying themselves beyond recognition by the time it was the hour for dinner. ‘Boys will be boys’ was a mantra Masae came to chant each time, and the boys quickly picked up on it to mock her.

Koh slurred his words and could never say it in one go, but Hannes seemed to always find it more amusing than anything else because of the fact.

However, eventually the day would come where the boys would grow more distant towards each other. Though it wasn’t by choice. Hannes’s family had taken the opportunity to sell their modest plot of land to the developing Ecruteak to expand within, and quickly the life upon the farm got changed to that of the city. Since Masae fell pregnant with her only child but twelve years ago, many things had changed around them.

(Yet they stuck to their ways, despite the offers of money for their property coming their way on a regular basis.)

Still, Hannes came over once or twice in the coming months until the day the big move was due. Though the boys no longer disappeared behind the thicket of the forests – rather lingered around the grounds to dig up soil or tinker with things they should not touch within Hiroji’s shed – they still carried on as though their days were not counted. As though they would stay friends, even when Hannes no longer was around.

On the fated day, Koh didn’t come out of his room. Not even when his only friend came to bid his farewells, could he be beckoned from is space. (Hiroji was the force that allowed it to be so, as he understood it was hard for his son to let his sorrow be displayed. Many times, he stopped his wife from fetching the boy against his will.) --However by dinnertime, Masae lost her patience and went to check on her son. A light knock on the frame, before his door was pushed to the side.

Young Koh was seated upon his windowsill, feat dangling over the edge as though they stretched to touch the tiled roofing just below. That there was a hitch within the mothers throat as the sight (ever so worried about her child damaging himself in any way) was only natural, and as she treaded the distance to be by his side, her arm came to lock around his middle to keep him close against her chest.

“Are you sad?” She would ask, her cheek pressed against his own. Koh shook his head. “… Upset?” Still a no. A moment of pause, and Koh himself came to voice his thoughts.

“L-Lonely.”

(The solution, as it were, should come as no surprise.)

---

Ever since the kit got brought into their home, their son had left it more and more. Running outside by daybreak, doing his chores given by his father – until lunch could be had and he would be free of his duties. Then, the familiar act of venturing into the woods began anew. --As though Hannes never had left.

Of course, Masae always worried about her son. For his safety with the kit. They had experienced the harm of Pokémon onto their crops more times than they could count, coupled with news reports over the radio of kept such being going against their owners. Rare occurrences, certainly – yet no less real. The thought of them, as her hands sat lathered in soaps within the kitchen sink, haunted her enough for her husband to take notice.

Hiroji rattled the paper settled within his grasp to get her attention. “The boy is safe,” he said, his voice giving no room for refutes. But his wife had never cared to listen to such things.

“You don’t know that,” she would counter – glance cast over her shoulder. Lines of worry marred her skin enough to age her beyond her years. “Those creatures are anything but domesticated.”

“The kit is harmless,” he would amend, shifting in his seat. “If it had wanted to hurt him, then it would’ve done it by now.”

‘It would have good reason to,’ he didn’t add, finding it more counterproductive to do so than anything else. Koh wasn’t the most gentle of children, and it displayed in his handling of the creature. Though he never outright harmed it, he carried it as though it was a rag rather than a being – wasn’t shy in letting his frustrations be known whenever the creature wouldn’t listen, and had more than once carried on a game called ‘Target’ in which he threw pebbles at the poor thing. --To build evasion, he supposed, but it only seemed to confuse the kit more than anything else.

Better a Pokémon than another child, he supposed.

Masae felt she had done enough of housework for the time, and dried her hands within the apron wrapped around her middle. Still, she gnawed at her lips as though they were sweets rather than a part of herself. When she passed her husband by, he reached for her skirt.

She turned to look down upon him, to which he raised a meaning brow. A tilt of his head – a request.

Her kiss was given, just as the lights of their home gave out. A flash of thunder flickering outside, fast enough to where should you have blinked – you would miss it. Yet it was as clear as summer rain to the only inhabitants of the modest farm home. --Masae’s fingers stilled at her husband’s cheek, quickly losing their warmth as ice spilled down her spine.

Hiroji read her mood like handwritten poetry, and reached for her wrist.

“… The kit is harmless,” he dared repeat – yet the mother had already made up her mind.

Masae hurried outside to find her boy.

---

The pace of which the mother kept as she hurried through the thicket could be described as anything but graceful, yet grace was not needed. Her breath, fleeting within her chest as she forgot to take them in her anxious hurry. Branches that were messily shoved out of her way as she hurried along narrow, treaded paths left tiny cuts upon her bared skin – marring her knuckles and arms for later viewing once her heart no longer nestled within her throat.

What had transpired at the scene was anyone’s guess – but not every guess could be the correct one. Once Masae broke through the covert to the creek making its way through the woods, more questions filled her, rather than answers. --More concerns, rather than calm.

Within the barren creek – never having filled enough past that of children’s ankles, a sight no mother should ever have to endure made itself known. Koh’s small frame laid unmoving and alone, the plain shirt he wore stained with soil and water. And though the lighting was poor as the sun struggled to filter through the crowns of bark-clad giants, Masae still could make out clear blemishes upon his skin. Thin silvery lines creeping up his arms, disappearing past the sleeves of his shirt to who knows where.

Yet it was not the most pressing issue at hand.

Masae stumbles to his side, falling to her knees beside her only child – not a care for the stains it would leave upon her wear. Quickly she gathered him in her arms, lifting his head from where it had rested almost fully submerged within the murky water to be cradles against the crook of her arm – against her chest, as her fingers held on to him so tightly she would leave further bruises.

“Koh,” she sobbed, her voice breaking apart. Tears felt thick within her throat, yet she had not shed any. “Koh, please baby please… Answer mommy.”

She shook him, gently at first – before more force was given out of impatient desperation. Something clicked within her mind, and the seasoned mother quickly turned him within her hold to angle his face downwards. --The palm of her hand, coming to lay flat against his shoulder blades.

Three times, she pounded on his back hard enough for an ache to build within the bones of her palm. By the third one, he coughed – mucus lodged in water heaving past his gaping mouth until he cast out more and more of what had come to block his airways. Koh struggled to catch his breath, his body twitching against his will. But his mother held him tightly against her, kept him stable. Until nothing more would be let out, and the sounds of the world once more returned to him.

Dull, broken and scattered into that of music.

“Koh!” Her voice echoed – and eyes the color of coal came to search kindred ones. Mother and son locked eyes but not for long, as Masae quickly hugged him tightly against her chest in her relief over his safety. That he was with her – that he wasn’t dead.

Finally, the tears would come. A rush of emotion too strong to properly contain any longer.

“Oh my sweet, sweet baby…” Masae cooed and fussed, rocking them both in her attempt of soothing. Koh’s hands came to search something to hold on to, something to grasp – and found fine pearls around his mother’s neck.

“It was that beast, was it not? It hurt you- I knew it would hurt you.”

Koh pulled and the neckless broke at its joints and spilling like that of first snow. That, if not his next words, caused his mother to go mute.

Speechless.

“Mom… I need to do that again.”

---

Hikari gingerly fingered at the burn marks caused by youthful stupidity of which marred her fingers and knuckles – the harm a Pokémon can do, all too familiar. (That there were other such marks upon her petite frame, was something she rather not think of.)

During her talk, Masae had moved from surface to surface within her modest kitchen – doing work Hikari perhaps could’ve (and perhaps even should’ve) helped with, yet hadn’t. But her grandmother had never shown signs of displeasure at the fact, nor had she commented on Hikari’s pause of rinsing the rice entirely in favor of listening to the recounting of her father’s childhood. --Perhaps because she only had one granddaughter – just like she only had one son.

“I didn’t understand what he meant, when he said that,” Masae eventually amended, hands drying by the help of a kitchen towel. The bowl before Hikari was taken without much protest. “… And it didn’t fully register to me in that moment that he had spoken without much trouble at all.”

“… H-his stutter was gone?”

That her own made itself known, could be rather humorous under any other circumstance. In the company of anyone else but the two women.

“That boy never stuttered once in his life after that, much to my dismay. Puberty made his mouth foul and I more than once prayed for it to come back just so that I could have some peace of mind.” Masae shook her head, taking over the rinsing so that dinner could be served at an acceptable timeframe. Hikari took to setting the table, feeling as though she should be of use in some way.

It only felt right.

Yet she stilled, plates in hand – and poked her grandmother with her elbow.

Her cheeks sat rosy. “What did this have to do with bedwetting?”

“Oh!” The older woman gasped, before her attention returned to the task at hand. Hikari followed suit, however no less attentive to her grans words. “I’m not certain, but I imagine the shock from that beast messed him up more than it did him good. He never had struggled with keeping his bladder under control until that incident.”

“I… suppose that could be the reason.”

It made her no less ashamed of her own mishap, however. It was an embarrassment she would have to carry for as long as she remembered it. --And these things, as they are, have a tendency to linger.

---

Retreating to her bedroom was a habit she had formed in a short amount of time – one neither Masae nor Hiroji seemed to particularly mind. If she stayed within the stairwell leading up to the second story, as dishes were placed within the sink for later washing; then the quiet chatter or her grandparents could be distinguished within the quiet home.

Most often, they spoke of nothing other than farm work and friends. About crosswords, about tomorrows tasks. --But sometimes, they spoke of her. And part of her always waited with bated breath for something… bad. Something cruel.

That they would mock her, without there really being a reason to.

At most, Hiroji had confessed to his granddaughter being quiet. Hikari figured it was meant as a compliment, as the man himself wasn’t exactly a chatterbox.

Johto, well and truly, had brought with it more good than bad. And as she looked to her bedding – freshly made with sheets that lacked stains – even the most dangerous parts didn’t seem all that daunting.

Dreams can’t hurt her, no matter if they are clouded in darkness.

Still, the young girl dug into her packing and brought out the one thing that would cause her grandparents concern. The shell keeping one of her teammates captive. It was cold despite the lingering summer heat, and as Hikari sat down within her bed; she pressed it against her lips for but a moment.

Grace appeared within the blink of an eye, eyes wide and innocent.

“Y’know,” she whispered to him – reaching to gather him into her arms. The kit gave no protest, nestling within her embrace as though it was the very air he needed to breathe. “Dad had one of your kind.”

A mewl.

“... Isn’t that funny?”