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munamania · 3 months

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ok um i am going to vent on something as someone with an outside perspective and people are going to be normal about that right. okay lol. im sick of hearing about taylor swift <3 as compared to a few years ago even she is like... suffocating. and i feel like we never advance this conversation because on one hand we have people who swing into full misogyny when talking about her, and on the other we have people who won't admit that she blatantly uses feminism to deflect from her problematic behaviors, or at least they won't like, do anything about it, and in this way she sort of ends up misleading a lot of young girls into like. girlboss liberal white feminism. im not saying shes a supervillain for it but you can't deny the ramifications of what she does and doesn't speak up about, just given the absolutely massive platform she has. she is the biggest pop star in the world

for the record, i don't expect taylor to be like. a normal person. she was very famous from a very young age and people aren't normal about teen/adolescent stars, especially when they're girls and women. she had her personal drama aired out in front of the world, had so much misogynistic dialogue surrounding her, from demeaning her success to interrogating her dating life (and never holding the pedos who preyed on her at a young age to any sort of standard!) and for many years people weren't very critical of that. it was normalized to be trashing this young girl's name and saying vile shit about her to like the entire nation and i dont blame her for being like, a little off after that. and yeah i also don’t think we should look to celebrities as our end all be all of activism and opinions on sociopolitical issues

but we've gone full swing into like. she is so famous and so big that her actions can be harmful and she does these things anyway because she doesn't expect her fanbase to hold her accountable, lest they be acting like the very sexists who tried to ruin her career. at least i imagine that's what the thought process is like, at least at some level, but at this point it's just like. this woman makes so much money. so much money it's ridiculous. idk how y'all fathomed paying so much for concert tickets but like i'll give props that they at least seemed to have some insane production/theatrics... so like alright. there's that.

but she is reselling the same songs. sometimes that don't sound that good. and making more money off that. yes yes to 'officially own them' and whatever. and releasing vault tracks and other versions of albums with different songs on them. but never all the same bc u need to collect them all. and the thing is some of them are like kinda bad. but you listen to them anyway because we live in a time of overconsumption/consumerism in late capitalism and it's like trendy and fun to be able to tell what song of hers is playing in the first millisecond. sorry or just your personal attachment to her. and don't say it's embarrassing to be a taylor swift fan these days she's like. so huge. and some of you equate embarrassment with having to hear criticism toward her. which might not be as common if swifties idk stepped it up and actually expected something from her?

which i guess is getting me to my main point here. can you imagine like. what would happen if taylor swift actually said anything about palestine? or anything of value in the world right now? no one's asking her to be a fucking scholar on it but genuinely sorry there’s like a genocide. several. the most documented real time genocide of our time i don’t care if it makes you upset that people expect something from her. she is time's person of the year. she has everyone from young girls to lesbians to gay men to bored football wives to dads to well fucking etc you get the point tuned in. she has dabbled in so many different spaces done so many collaborations aligned herself with so many entities who can keep up? if she, as massive as she is right now, posted something as simple as 'free palestine' or called for a ceasefire, can you imagine what would happen? i can’t help but think about it when day in and day out my feed is filled with screaming people being pulled from rubble or having their limbs amputated.

but she won't, because, quite frankly, what does she have to gain from it? she’s teaming up with the nfl right now to make some more money, she's gotta have at least like 4 new albums recorded in the last two years and at least um what three more that you're expecting? and she doesn't even have to like? write new music really? (edit: oh boy!) why the fuck would she be doing anything with her time other than poisoning the planet with jet fuel to visit her pr boyfriend?

taylor swift is never gonna be punk or what the hell ever beyond like a white liberal-at-best moderate woman. but if any of you could talk to each other and talk about, like, organizing in ways that it would be impossible for her to continue to ignore these situations, and just keep playing her tour FILM (how could i forget) in israel and etc, like if you could flood her socials or do a mass movement (and it would be massive given the sheer amount of peoples' top artists she's in) of not listening/buying/interacting with her stuff, until her agents and whatever had to make some sort of statement? like that's the only chance we've got with her

i'm not saying don’t be her fan, or listen to her music, or have an attachment, etc, but she's been around enough vile, anti-feminist, racist things this past year that y'all DO need to hold her accountable. like way more than you do. or it's going to be like really difficult to. tolerate it. haha. like you SHOULD be vocally and loudly disapproving of her actions when it causes a lot of damage overall. speaking up about her insane climate irresponsibility when we're having the hottest years on record is not the same as the people who felt the need to like pick apart her dating life on the news. but can we talk about how she's officially like. circled back and now is purposefully making news about her dating life? for her personal gain and that of the fucking nfl? lol. in a way it is funny for her to ‘take that power back’ in a way, of her image, and i think that’s how some people might view it, but like on the other hand she obviously is gaining a lot from this. you know. a lot of actual money. she is going to profit off this image of her being misunderstood etc for as long as u guys allow it and well i just think that has run its course. yk

continuing into 2024 (edit: and now with the release of a new album!) i don't want to see swifties automatically exonerating themselves from difficult conversations because like they feel like their fave has faced enough unwarranted criticism. or bc other people should also be criticized. much of it is warranted! and you guys need to grow up and be able to talk about it and stop painting taylor swift's face as like the Pinnacle of feminism. she doesn't and shouldn't have to be, and she isn't, and she should in fact be held accountable when she does really fucking shitty things on account of they're shitty! i don't care that she's a woman! it's like that meme of oh yay a woman democrat sent these missiles. oh yay a woman is massively damaging the planet and proudly dated a violent misogynistic racist, and faced minimum criticism for these things over and over because your only comeback is ‘well what about’ if a man did the same thing, etc, you refuse to just look at the situation we do have. yes we should. we should do that we should hold men accountable but you can also like not accept awful fucking behavior from your faves when you have a chance. do you think that’s helping feminism genuinely. use your voice use your power (your money) to like. do something for once. i cannot keep living in the taylor swift echo chamber.

and for the record. i like enjoyed taylor like back when i was a young girl and she had a few songs on the radio, and i honestly even had a moment where i used guys' opinions on her as a first step to navigate who i felt safe around in a very hypermasculine sexist college space. because yes. some people do need feminism 101 and some people's genuinely misogynistic rage will be demonstrated in their hatred of taylor and her success. but at some point we gotta move on from that. if some people will look at the most powerful woman in the world, who has enough money to stay away from them and an extremely massive loyal fanbase watching and supporting her every move - if some men take out their hatred on her, a powerful white woman, how do you think they view and treat women who are not white, thin, "conventionally"/eurocentrically attractive, or accessible to cis/het audiences?

anyway i hope that i can bring a conversation to the swiftieverse cause i honestly believe u guys could have comparable impact to like. bts stans. maybe. if you put your minds together for a good cause. and we don’t have to do the oppression olympics or whataboutisms or WHATEVER for forever. can we please move the conversation forward does anyone else feel insane with like where we’re at

on that note, i really do think now is the perfect moment for you to disrupt shit with your voices and demand better from her. it might not save the world, but it could make a huge difference in changing peoples' minds

okay um. thanks 👍

tldr i can’t do another year of swiftie discourse i just can’t please if there is a god out there help us

#abby talks #well here’s a draft that i guess is relevant #taylor swift #swifties #swiftie #midnights #1989 #folklore #evermore #taylor’s version #travis kelce #long post #ok swiftie mutuals u better have my back here 😇👍

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noeggets · 1 month

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Noeggets has a lot of deep thoughts about Shadow's characterization

it's so sad that Shadow was only a project to gerald, like we all joke /think that Shadow was "part of the family" but he was only a cure to Maria, that man was not as good a person as we think he was IM NOt SAYING HE WAS BAD but i usually see him depicted as super super kind to Shadow but i was reading the lore of SA2 and watching an analysis video and if the president never asked him to make whatever he asked him to make Shadow very well would not have been created.

It's so dark and so sad, like he manipulated Shadow when he went insane how do you think it feels to Shadow to know the person who made him didn't truly love him? like neither of the things that created/help create Shadow really truly loved him, he's only a cure, he's just a thing to reach immortality, he very well could be immortal himself, Shadow i don't think he can die cause he was created to not be able to catch any disease and be immortality it's self.

How do you think that feels? to just be a thing? Biolizard is just a failed attempt at making Shadow based on Chaos, those Chaos things in the ARK are failed attempts at Shadow also based on Chaos, i never knew this until i read the wiki 2 days ago SA2 has such a dark story i feel so bad for Shadow

re-thinking what i used to think about IDW Shadow lemme explain

And now that i know all this about Shadow the way he acts in IDW makes a little more sense to me, we all thought he was stupid when Sonic said "don't touch those zobot guys you'll turn into one" and Shadow was all "yeah, i dont care this wont effect me" HE WAS LIKE THIS FOR TWO REASONS

he was mad at Sonic cause his whole thing i want to achieve world peace i already talked about how IDW Shadow doesn't have as much compassion as the Shadow we all know from any other game but this is Eggman we're talking about, with everything Eggman's done up to this point do you think Shadow believes there is any good in him when he rarely does anything good Shadow has seen? Time eater, Sonic unleashed, Shadow is not ignorant to Eggman waking up a monster inside the planet everybody whether we seen them or not knows sonic unleashed happen, Sonic brings up sonic unleashed in IDW so it canonly happened. i remember reading that Knuckles and Shadow were gonna be in Sonic unleashed and if that's true SHADOW IS AWARE OF THIS

Eggman is a threat to the world to Shadow but he allowed the doctor to be cause Sonic keeps him check, Sonic is starting to be "unable" to keep him in check from Shadow's view, Shadow was there in forces, he witness what Eggman did to greenhill, he fought infinite who is a merc hired by Eggman mercs off people, Shadow is trying to save people that's his whole thing. After what happen to Shadow in Episode Shadow in forces do you think Shadow would hold any sympathy for Eggman the next time he physically see's him? After what he did to the world, after what he did to Omega? right in front of his eyes? Using Infinite to corrupt Omega and scare him Shadow cares about Omega that's his friend i had a point but i forgot it dang it anyway Shadow was in the war,

i remembered it a little bit i think i think i was gonna say something about when GUN sent Shadow to rescue Omega idk i haven't touched forces in sometime, and Shadow didn't come back as well as Omega. Eggman immobilized Shadow Shadow does not think the world is safe with Eggman around i think that was my point i don't remember...

ANYWAY that's why when Shadow came to see mr tinker he was pissed that Sonic allowed Eggman to be, this is dangerous to Shadow. when Shadow was getting mad at Sonic cause Sonic was preaching let Mr. Tinker live Shadow was thinking about the bigger picture: This man is terrorizing people and the only way to keep everyone safe is getting rid of him, this may be the only chance we get, but he let him live because Sonic explained that Shadow did bad things in the past as well so does that mean Shadow gets to go down with Eggman?

Shadow was mad at Sonic and the mess he made, Shadow was being compassionate i just didn't see it or understand it until now, it shocked him greatly when he was consumed by metal virus because he truly believed he could not catch a disease, this is a disease, so he wasn't being stupid i will admit he should have been more cautious not to put it to the test if it would work on him but Shadow was so sure he couldn't catch it, cause he believed he can't catch any KNOWN diseases this was a new disease his body wasn't created to understand therefore it works on him.

We thought SEGA didn't know what they were doing when they were writing IDW Shadow BUT THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING people probably don't even care or remember about when that issue came out and everyone got so mad that Shadow was written "wrong" and being "stupid" but now that i have a understanding i think understand what he was doing and his thought process.

Shadow is moving up on my favorite list for this i feel so bad for Shadow F in the chat for Shadow his story is so sad like really. also heres an old thing i did that's really valid now

#shadow the hedgehog #sonic idw #Sonic #sth #character analysis

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itsaspectrumcomic · 3 months

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man ok idk if youll be able to advise on this or something but like. do you know anything regarding dealing with like internalised ableism?

i live in a rural part of ireland, right? and idk what it is about rural ireland but some of the people are heinous. my school is in a small miserable-ass town and like. God, man. not everyone sucks, of course but like. jesus lol additionally i have a ~mildly ableist~ mother (a "we're all a little bit autistic" and "erm. youre not disabled because youre not in a wheelchair or blind/deaf" etc etc type stuff. + "npd = bad person" which isnt particularly good for me specifically because i have npd (that i both Cant get an official diagnosis for, for various reasons, and im not really Looking for one either because i know what i am and its not like you get support for it because ~ooh scary narcissist~.)

and like. idk if this is Obvious but that can kinda cause a weird-ass relationship with You (being Me in this case, yk how it is with the second person perspective when. ranting) and The Concept Of Being Disabled. like, objectively. im disabled. im autistic, ive definitely got adhd (that im hopefully going to get examined for at some point cause college stuff requires it for the disability forums and stuff. gotta love that. fuckin 80% comorbidity right?), ive got a laughable number of repetative strain injuries, i have a sensory processing disorder, an endocrine disease that effects my Entire cardiovascular system, a spine that felt a lil quirky and bent in too much. so on a so forth

but also like. it feels wrong to call myself disabled. yk, like im doing a disservice to all the other ~actually~ disabled people (being Anyone but me lol) (none of this is At All helped by the fact that my mother refuses to listen to me regarding Jack Shit about my health in Any way. "oh you nearly passed out on top of a hill because of your cardiovascular condition? erm youre just not exercising enough actually" "you dont have depression [said while i was filling out an assigned mood diary after being forcefully brought to camhs for Reasons" like. shut the fuck up and Listen to me please. at least Entertain the idea that i could be right about something for fucking once lmao. cause ive been right about EVERYTHING regarding my mental health so fucking far so. fuck off /nay ofc) (also man. like, even if you ignored the physical issues ive got im still disabled on account of being autistic. like, motor function is fine, despite being a lil clumsy and/or unsteady sometimes but like. my emotional needs are Fucked. think of the response youd get if you asked a. fuckin. 8 year old or something to do algebra. but with a very emotionally stunted and traumatised 17 year old lol. lmao, even /lh)

so like. if youve got. any advice or whatever on any of this thatd be Super cool + no pressure obvs. sorry this is a whole. like. fucking essay's worth of Random Guy Complaining To You On The Internet lol

-🐢 <- just so i can find this again if you respond. i Like Turtles. i am Normal about the tmnt and also turtles The Creatures. i wont talk at length about turtle mutant anatomy (i am deceiving you)

Internalised ableism is a really hard thing to deal with, especially when you're surrounded by people who constantly re-enforce it. I've also spent a lot of time worrying that I'm not disabled 'enough' to deserve certain accommodations, that I'm making an unnecessary fuss. But the truth is, autism IS a disability and if there are accommodations that can help support you, you deserve access to them. You're not taking away from others with disabilities by advocating for yourself.

It's taken me a long time to understand this and I still worry sometimes. What has helped is talking about my experiences with people I know understand, like my therapist or best friend, and learning about the experiences of other autistic people through books, social media, YouTube and even real life.

I'm sorry your mother and others aren't being understanding - remember that's a them problem, not you, and try to spend your time with people who do understand.

🐢🐢🐢 <- the turtles wish you luck

#🐢#ask #anon ask #autism #actually autistic #advice #autistic #autism is a disability #its a spectrum #long post

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gemmasgraveyard · 3 months

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Hi! My name is gemma, im 22 (mdi)

◇300lbs sw active in 2024◇

My account has gotten deleted so many times and it makes me so sad. Backup @riotgrrrlgemma

Sw: 305

Cw:??? Idk I don't have a scale

Gw:240

Gw2:222

Gw3:199

Gw4: 175

150 is the goal ♡

Or less

Read for stupid rambles, update frequently

If you scolled this far thx!

I'm gonna put some stuff here about me, like my favorite music and sh!t like that

I'm 22, a Gemini. Although I don't believe in astrology, I do think a little of it is true. Like,, my moon and rising are so accurate.

Scorpio moon, sag rising

Anyways, I'm a size 22, isn't that crazy?

I remember when I was size 18 and actually to into actually how my teen body changed from size 12 to 18. This was the lowest in my life, I basically just shoved down the way I felt with food. My parent kicked me out because I told them I was as by their partner.

Long story short they don't believe me and never will... so I kept shoving how I felt with food

Now I live alone, I'm happier

Or. Am I. Because like I don't feel anything but guilt and anxiety. I try not shove my face with food but unfortunately I'm not better than I was before.

I'm still so fucking massive and I've been doing this since November. I fucking hate my self.

Sorry to like trauma dumping

Anyway, I always found my outlit to be creativity. I love knitting, painting, crafting, and making diy clothes. Music is another thing I'm trying to dabble in, I love all music and all genres. How can anyone make a horrible song? At least, that's what I think. So much goes into it. It's just such a beautiful thing. Even in the songs that others find bad or corny, I love.

I love smoking w33d and gaming.

I know that sounds corny asf, but honestly, I could spend all day being a gremlin and not binge. I used to play Cold War so much, and because I have anxiety, I would clench my jaw. The way that felt was enough to make me not want to eat.

I want to start going out, but every time I do I feel so ugly and gross. I start to feel guilty just being there. I guess I'm guilty other people have to see me? I don't know. Anyways sorry for dumping this here. But yeah I might just dump my rambling I have in my head.

April 5

Sometimes I think God isn't real then I pray for strength in order to fast and it works.

April 12

I went out a few days ago. No one worried about how ugly I was because I did my makeup. I am starting a 44h fast. I love the number 4 soooo much. Anyways, I'm almost out of weed and cigs, which is very annoying... just like how my partner wanted to sit down with me and have dinner before he went to work. I tried to just serve him, but he was like almost lecturing me, and I ate. It's okay. Like I said, I'm starting a 44h fast now. I just hope this isn't a problem in the future. Update at 2 pm so my partner made me make breakfast, I'm not upset. I just had eggs, but I was able to make him some eggs and sausage. He went to go pick up his check, and he got me cigs and weed. But he came back with a pizza and was like "oh this is for dinner and maybe tomorrow's breakfast" so glad to have this man in my life but why pizza !

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why-the-heck-not · 7 months

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how do you study/code everyday? Genuinely asking, like how do you maintain focus and not get distracted or stop when it gets hard? Ignore the following question if you live your major and school and all that: how do you not get sad? And if you do what do you do when that happens?

With love and admiration, a fellow computer science student who is struggling so much

Heyy and thank you for the ask!

Honestly, I get very distracted a whole lot. Like 50% of my days are procrastination bc I don’t want to do things. And I don’t study every day, but most days just bc I’m bad at taking full days off bc of The Guilt lol. Waking up early has helped me a ton, bc even if I procrastinate the morning bc don’t want to start doing things, it’ll still be early. The annoying thing to say, but it rly does feel like u have more hours in a day that way.

For stopping when it gets hard: I have this one playlist that’s like 30mins long, and everytime I wanna give up, I put that on, and it’s like a ”okay just gotta work until this playlist stops”-thing. And sometimes I do just stop after bc I’m getting nowhere, but sometimes that ”permission” to stop doing things actually makes me want to get them done. And sometimes u luck out and figure out the thing in that 30mins. (Sure a timer would work as well but I time my time with music a lot of times idk)

And yeah I get sad, bc like who doesn’t. Idk, I feel like the key is to try move on the second u can. You had ur bad days and can’t do anything abt that now, so wallowing & feeling guilty about that is not gonna do anything. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, and a week or so won’t ruin things. Trying to not get stuck in it, the cycle of ”I’ve fucked this up ohno” and getting more depressed from that and then continuing to not being able to do anything is very real. At that point, u gotta remind urself that any little bit helps (if that’s either towards the school things or like washing piled up dishes; anything to move anything along helps to get urself out).

Also big thing that has helped me; no social media when it gets bad !! All that ”respect the grind” ”that girl” ”grind mindset” etc. makes it feel way more shitty. But also the mental health awarness side sometimes makes it too easy to be ”yeah so im sad, im not going to even try to do anything” (it’s fine obv when u just can’t, but when u notice 2 years have gone by bc ”i’m just having a bad day today” everyday, it’s no longer selfcare). So idk, what helps for me is to have the bad days just by myself in the bubble and at some point getting up and doing a thing. Which sometimes/usually snowballs into a couple things. And never underestimate the power of taking a good long shower. Everything seems more doable after a shower idk why. Also I think I say this in about every ask but WALKS !! Are so good !!!!! For everything !!

#sorryy a long one but one of those things I’m also trying to fogure out so don’t have a clear answer lol #asks #october 2023 #2023

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safety-writes-noms · 7 months

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I SAW DRAGON AND STARTEDNABRAGRHAHB

holding out my idea of wolfwalkers type shit but with dragons. im jsutbtrghgrhgbrjrghrgjngrughibkjfggfhbjgrfihdkjh SMASHING MY HANDS ON MY DESK. PLEASE.

just imagining big angry dragon miguel with gold accents trying his damn hardest not to snap as hes got a bunch of smaller dragons clambering on him and excitedly talking while waiting to be told what to do. being dragons and all they go around and make sure theres peace between kingdoms and stuff ....

sobbing into my hands. i need to see more dragon content im GGGGHR AAHHHHHH

YES OMG PMG I LOVE DRAGON AU’S (so sorry this is kinda late 🙏 school seriously beat me up this week. Also YOUR ART IS SO SO SO COOL!)

(Also also I’m so sorry but I’m not familiar with the wolf walkers series and never got the chance to watch it :(( but I absolutely love the animation style and premise from the ads I’ve seen)

THIS IS NOT NSFW AT ALL!!! KINK BLOGS AND NSFW BLOGS DNI

I can just imagine miguel grumpily walking around with all of the spider kids either nestled on his back or chattering somewhere in the cave, waiting to get assigned their missions. I am in LOVE with the idea of Miguel sending them out to keep the peace between humans since sometimes humans can be very… not wise. Idk actually, maybe the some of the spider kids are humans and that’s how they meet Miguel or peter and Jess (bc I’d love to see them as dragons theyre so cool)

imagine a human Hobie just confidently walking around a dragon’s cave/network society and just casually arguing with a giant dragon Miguel. I’m feel like he’d get in the dumbest arguments with him just for the giggles. I can see him also baby sitting a hatchling mayday, keeping her fully entertained while Peter goes off to finish missions too dangerous to bring her along. Their little interactions in atsv were adorable especially the little salute he gave her.

or the fight between miles and Miguel ☹️ even tho I love him (Miguel) and understand why he did that and his motives, I’ll always feel so bad for miles. I feel like it would even be worse because instead of having a 6’9 roughly judged 310 pounds of muscle man chasing after you and pinning you down, there’s a ten ton dragon hellbent on having your dad die for the sake of the canon, claws, wings, VENOM/FIREBREATHING. It’s pretty much game over at that point. Ofc miles is a resourceful amazing wonderful intelligent human so I think he’d be able to reason with him. Besides, even then I kinda doubt Miguel would want to kill a kid, even if they’re a human. Nurturing instincts don’t go away after ur daughter dies 😋! Actually Miguel might even nom miles in an effort to keep him from messing up the canon :( can you imagine being so so terrified of this huge creature and getting nommed and you don’t know you’re safe and you’re panicking and —

The hurt and comfort is strong here :o. And the guilt. So much guilt. Once they work out their issues (there are so so so many poor dudes) I’m sure they’ll be besties. But that’s for human miles au

dragon miles would definitely get the short end of the stick. Even if he’s a hatchling (kind of, he’s in that odd stage between adult and adolescent but on the younger side) he’s still a whole lot more durable than if he’s a human. Which means that Miguel won’t be nearly as cautious handling him physically. Ouch. Miguel genuinely wants to protect miles in the movie but does it in the worst way possible. That would probably transfer over to this universe too.

But still because I absolutely LIVE for found family, I want to imagine they work through their problems in a long and very very non linear path that has setbacks and leaps forward and minor changes and everything because I love all of these characters sm and without depth they don’t feel like people. Plus imagining sleepy spider kids/dragons stumbling into Miguel’s section of the cave system/lair and deciding to take a quick nap there because it feels safe and waking up with Miguel curled loosely around them, wing slightly shielding them from the chilly drafts and hsjskskdjskj they have my heart. (Miguel will deny it later.)

or peter b taking the human kids out flying to let them feel at least a little what it’s like to taste the sky while Miguel lurks in the background anxiously, crimson eyes tense just in case peter accidentally drops one of them. Not that he would, he may be goofy but he’s most definitely not stupid.

I can imagine Miguel trying his hardest to stop some of the kids from doing things that he thinks is wayyy too dangerous for them and just giving up and tucking them away in his brooding pouch. If they won’t listen to his very very valid concerns then he’ll just have to make sure they don’t go anywhere >:(. Plus it’s warm and safe and even though Miguel will never admit it, he feels calmer if they’re there, protected completely bc he’ll never let anything hurt them. At least not while they’re nestled in one of the literal safest places in the world. I can’t imagine anyone would have an easy time getting to them when there’s a very protective and vengeful dragon guarding his precious brood.

and I haven’t even really gotten into the other characters either :( especially exploring the relationship between Jess and Gwen or Hobie and miles/gwen and pav but I feel like I’m writing too much so I’ll end it here. If you or anyone else wants to continue this thread/au PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME AN ASK! I LOVE THIS AU SM 😭😭

#sfw vore #extreme cuddling #s: spidervores #spidervores #nonsexual vore

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rocketyship · 7 months

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That poll is so hard to vote for cause on one hand, it feels like Tiff would fit the best because of her incredibly unreliable narration matching Ted's while it would still be a subversion of the original because of the reason why she's unreliable(rose tinted glasses and extreme devotion to BE as opposed to the stuff Ted's got going on) and her pov on and relationship with BE would just be so fun to see explored and the horror of the situation being a subtle thing thats swept under the rug could be so cool.

But on the other, Evan would also kinda match with the original due to his open emotional distance and disconnect from the girls, AND it would bring a lot of fun, fresh stuff! Seems like Evan is the one who pays most attention to AM, and seeing what's happening there from his pov would be so interesting! He, just like Ellen if she would've narrated could bring up how things like being the only one of the opposite sex and gender in the group and (from what we know from the short story at least) only dark skinned person would like.. idk change perspectives on things?? I'd also love to find out more about him!

Oh, not to mention Naomi!! Having narration that is pretty damn reliable would make worldbuilding and exploration much easier and she's also got that disconnect due to her age and crystal clear memory, being able to see things as they are and were could be really refreshing in a ihnmaims universe and i really want to know what her whole deal is! Being born toward the end of the war must've made quite a difference to how a person would process everything, Ted's whole "I'm youngest so my experience is different because i barely had time to live as an adult before the nukes" wouldn't have shit on someone who wasn't even like... done w puberty.

Ooooh they'd all make for such fun narrators 😭 It's really too bad that writing takes so much time and effort or it would've been amazing to see all three's povs! I still don't know what to vote for or how the results are looking so far but im really looking forward to seeing what the results will lead to!

Maybe you have a character you have the most ideas for or would like to write most? Cause if so, that'd def help me choose what to vote.

Sorry for the wall of text(would you believe me if i said i wanted to write more? This is me trying to show restraint, didn't even write about the potential AM could have as a narrator), and i hope you have a good day!

Okay so first off, I love-love-love this response. You have such fun perspectives on these silly little au characters of mine and it makes me a little sad that you didn’t write anymore cause I definitely would have read it, especially what you were thinking about what an interesting narrator AM could be.

As to which character I have the most ideas for, is such a difficult thing to answer cause well I have so-so many. But I do want to put them out there for you so here they are:

Tiffany: narration wise, I imagine the stuff she says can and does come across as nonsensical and border line trigger happy, however sometimes she occasionally lets something slip that clues into her true feelings and that a part of her may indeed be aware of the gravity of the groups situation, however she shuts it down as she has severe attachment issues and cannot fathom how she could possibly survive without BE. Another thing I pictured is that she very often quotes the bible and other religious texts, as BE doesn’t present herself as machine and genuinely as a divine entity. I also have been toying with a scene similar to the one in the radio drama, where AM is talking to Ted about bumblebees and getting high r something. Where it is set up as the reverse. BE showing Tiff the horrors of what the radiation and world has come to (in a way that is seriously deceptive) and claiming that all she has to do is snap her fingers for it to return. It would definitely read as a story where there is total tonal whiplash from one scene to the next, so that is something to consider.

Evan: I have come up with so many pasts for all these survivors before they were “rescued” by BE, however one thing to note is that I don’t really think of these characters as just “genderbent versions of the originals”. Evan is one of the key examples of this, as in this au he is technically the original Ellen’s older brother, however he left home when she was around 12-13ish, as he didn’t like the life, college and job his family set out and tried to push him into. Unlike Ellen who was a successful engineer, who may have been a hopeless romantic based on the original text. Evan was and very much still is kind of a massive party animal. I picture him very punk but like the old kind of punk. Like he was the kind of guy to go motorcycling around the country (even into war-devastated bits, cause it was a thrill), he went to underground clubs and concerts, and sure as heck slept around and had no shame in it (both women and men if you are curious). He doesn’t want to get sentimental, he wants to live his life on the edge and BE doesn’t allow that. He constantly tries to upset her, get some kind of intense reaction from her. He tries to escape, he kicks and tries to tear open parts of her internal network. This man has tried to kill Gloria (Gloria kind of deserves it thou) and the only reactions he gets from BE is her finding him cute, amusing, or as if he just needs to be put in a corner to calm down for a bit. Truthfully he is someone who just wants to go back and experience life again, recognising that BE’s utopia isn’t living and refusing to buy into it.

Naomi: I won’t lie, Nimdok is so boring in the og story, and they definitely tried to do “something” with him in the game. I don’t like it, again different ramble. So like Evan, she is a different person. Like you said she has barely started puberty and because of BE neither her body or even her mind has really aged in anyway and she is horribly aware of this. Due to the war she has had her childhood taken from her, but now because of BE she shall never experience adulthood or growing up. Her memory hardly anything particularly helpful. She remembers exactly what BE did to the others when they first got brought to the compound, she has seen what goes down in the labs, she knows what pills are and aren’t sleeping pills, developing a habit where she will pretend to take one and spit it out if she is able to. As stated in the survivors master post, she knows BE’s blind spots and will often go there on her own. Not really to do anything, just kind of sit around. Further more, she and Evan have a way of communicating, number of blinks, which fingers moved when you spoke to them, that kind of stuff. Still she doesn’t want to escape, she knows she’ll die if she does, generally she acts more like a mediator in the group. As a narrator, I did have this idea for a few odd habits she has learned over the years. Example is that she constantly counting, time and routine is import to her, as she notices when something is wrong and that freaks her out. She also has this habit of just staring at the others for very long periods of time, especially Gloria. She clearly remembers seeing her on tv during her old life, and also remembers how she attacked her when Naomi attempted to mention it to Gloria.

Writing does take so much effort, especially for me, cause truthfully I’m always jumping back and forth on what I’m working on. On top of this au and the fic, I’m also in the process of finishing the final script and sketches for a different web comic I’ve been planning for a while, as well as a completely unrelated world building project that I’ve been at for two years now. Anyhow!! Tell me more please

#i have no mouth and i must scream #ihnmaims #am ihnmaims #ted ihnmaims #ihnmaimsloveau #alternate reality #harlan ellison #ellen ihnmaims #ihnmaims am #allied mastercomputer #small artist #horror #fanfiction #ao3 writer

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mooodyblue · 2 years

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call me | 70s!elvis x fem!reader

summary: you and elvis meet at a time where he needs someone the most.

warnings: angst, gets nsfw at the end but not too crazy. mentions of pills, loneliness and idk it's kinda sad. sorry if i missed anything

word count: 3,029

note: written while listening to call me by kali uchis <3 i don't know why everything i write is always sad, maybe i'm portraying my own feelings on elvis. WHO KNOWS! i honestly wanted to write more to this but i needed to stop myself lol i skimmed through for errors so if i missed any, that's my bad. if i read my writing over again, im deleting it 🤷🏼 may contain inaccuracies. i write everything with the real elvis in mind but you could probably imagine aus!elvis if you wanted.

❤︎

elvis was grateful for everything in his life. he was happy to be able to make millions of people’s lives a little better by singing the music he loved.

but god, he was so lonely.

going back to his hotel room, show after show, it was tiring. he loved performing but coming back to a quiet room after hours of social interaction left him feeling empty. of course, he would occasionally bring a girl to his hotel room but that was never enough for him. the sex was always great, but sometimes he just wanted someone to talk to. the women who came to his room never cared about talking, they just wanted him.

he was having one of those nights. finishing up his final show of the month before flying back to memphis for a few weeks. he planned to leave in the morning so he could get a few hours of sleep before heading out.

you happened to be staying in the same hotel elvis was staying. seeing elvis was a dream come true. it had been an awful week for you but nothing was going to stop you from seeing him, that's for sure. it was a chance for you to forget the real world for a little bit.

oh, but of course something had to go wrong on this day. your stupid, little hotel key wasn’t working. that or the door was stuck.

“well, i sure hope you're not tryin’ to break in my hotel room.” a man said in a strong, accent that sounded awfully too familiar to you. he walked closer to you, taking his glasses off.

you looked up at him, then at the number on the hotel door. stupid, stupid, stupid. it was the wrong room. yours was next door. you had just tried to break into elvis presley’s hotel room. “oh….you're-i….i wasn’t-...it's not what it looks like-” you stammered.

he laughed and pat you on the shoulder. “darlin’, don't even worry about it. i can tell by the look on your face that you got the wrong room.”

“i’m so sorry, elvis. really! it's been a long week, i just wasn't paying attention.”

elvis shook his head,”don't apologize. d’ya need anything?” he asked. you were taken back by the question, even if it was a simple one. how do you even answer that question?

“i don't want to be a burden-”

“definitely not a burden. i can’t sleep after a show anyway.” he unlocked the door to his hotel room, “you did just try to break into my room, it's the least i can do.” he joked.

you wandered into his room, looking around. there were only a few clothing items hanging in the closet and the room seemed as if nobody was staying there, besides the various pill bottles you noticed on the side table. it did smell like him though, in a good way.

“i never leave my room when i’m tourin’ except to perform. that's why there's not much to look at, sorry if you're disappointed.” he chuckled. he placed his glasses on the dresser and slid his shoes off, setting them aside. “make yourself at home! i’m gonna shower and freshen up.” you nodded as you watched him make his way to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

you sat on the edge of his bed, still wondering why you were invited into his room. you've read about the girls he brings into his hotel rooms, there was no way that's why he invited you in. you loved elvis, you thought he was very handsome but you weren't that kind of girl. it was definitely tempting to snoop around his room but you had too much respect for the man to do that. his personal business was not yours.

he opened the bathroom door, glancing over to see if you were still there. you turned your head towards him, flashing a small smile at him as he ran a towel through his hair.

“have you just been sitting there? you haven't even taken your shoes off! i promise i don't bite!” he hung his towel up and made his way to pour himself and you a drink. “unless you want me to, of course.” he grinned.

“oh come on, you don't even know my name.” you giggled, slipping your shoes off. he handed you a drink and sat beside you.

“alright then, what's your name?” he asked.

“y/n.”

“lovely name, y/n.” he took a sip from his drink. “so, y/n….”

you turned your body slightly to look him in the eyes. “elvis…i-i hope you know i’m not that kind of girl…y’know that sleeps around. you're a very nice looking man but-”

his eyes widened at you, almost as if he was offended. “woah, wait a minute. who said anything about sleepin’ together?! i was just joking about the biting thing! you said you had a bad week, i thought you might wanna talk about it. is that why you think i invited you in here?” he exclaimed. “i’m not all about sex, y’know!”

ah–now you felt bad, you felt the heat from your cheeks turning red in embarrassment. “oh lord, i’m making a fool of myself tonight.” you muttered, drinking the entire glass he handed to you earlier. you don't even drink often and the liquid burned as it went down your throat but god, after tonight, you didn't care. “look, i’m sorry. apparently my big mouth continues to fail me.” you stood up. “can't keep a job, can't keep my relationships and apparently i can’t even talk to elvis presley!”

he pulled you back down onto the bed next to him. “let’s just start over, sound good?”

you nodded, apologizing again. “i’m sorry. i just–seeing you tonight was amazing. i lost my job last week, just got out of a awful relationship and all my friends have been avoiding me ever since. i was supposed to be here with my best friend but she won't talk to me so i had to come alone and to make things worse, i almost broke into your hotel room.” you sniffled. “i’m a disaster.”

“don't say that.” he frowned. “first of all, if you hadn't tried breaking in here, you wouldn't be talking to me. second, you're not a disaster, don't ever say that about yourself. one bad week doesn't determine your whole life.”

elvis stood up from the bed, walking over to the window showing the night sky over the city. he leaned against the wall, drink in hand while staring out. you couldn't help but stare at his tall figure, dressed in basic black pajamas with his hair still slightly damp from his shower. it was the most beautiful sight you've ever seen.

“i ain’t ever said this to anyone. but my heart is telling me to trust you.” he took a sip from his drink and continued to stare out the window. “do you know how many friends i’ve lost since….” he pointed outside. “all this? all these shows? all people ever want from me is money or expensive shit, nobody ever asks how i’m doin’” he stood there silent for a minute. “i finish a show, hop on a plane, do another show, sit in a hotel room by myself and just rot. that's all i do.”

“but the girls-”

he looked over at you. “the girls?” he scoffed. “gotta do something with all that adrenaline.”

you looked down at your hands, still holding the empty glass that was handed to you earlier. the urge to pour yourself another drink was strong, but you were too nervous to get up from the bed. who would have known that someone who has made such a huge impact in music, was struggling so much? it broke your heart listening to him tell you his troubles, you could tell he had been holding it in for so long.

you looked up at him again. “do you enjoy it?”

“enjoy what?”

“performing.”

he sat in a chair in the corner of the room facing her. he sighed. “i enjoy making people happy.” you stood up and made your way to the spot he was standing in near the window, crossing your arms and looking down at him.

“but are you happy?”

elvis had never really been asked that before. he didn’t know how to answer that question. to be honest, he wasn't unhappy. but he wasn't thrilled about how his life was going either. the colonel refused to let him leave the states, he was very much overworked and exhausted, but no matter how tired or how much pain he was in, he went on to perform a hell of a show for hundreds of people every night. seeing the fans happy is what brought him so much joy.

he sat there in silence, not looking at you, almost as if he was holding back tears. god, he was so overwhelmed. he didn't even know you and he was sitting here, opening up his more vulnerable side to you. “i don't know if i can answer that question.” he murmured.

crouching down in front of him, his tear-filled eyes glanced up at you. “can i hug you, elvis?” he nodded, reaching his breaking point and letting tears fall from his blue eyes. you sat on his thigh and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, giving an awkward, yet comforting side hug. it was nice. the smell of old spice and aftershave giving you a sense of peace.

“thank you.” he whispered. “i’ve been feelin’ so lost, so alone….i have nobody to talk to.”

“do you have a show tomorrow?” he shook his head. “‘m going back to memphis tomorrow.”

you got up from his lap and went over to the desk, reaching for a pen and ripping off part of a small hotel notepad to jot down your number. “if you need anything, and i mean anything…..i want you to call me. if you feel lonely or just need to escape for a bit, call me. i don't care what time it is or what day it is, please reach out to me.” you begged.

he smiled at you. “i may just take you up on that offer.”

a few days passed. there was no sign of elvis, you hadn't received any calls since you saw him that night. it was a little worrying. maybe he didn't like you or maybe he was embarrassed? you tried to not let it bother you.

you were back home in california, spending each day checking the papers for new job listings and trying to keep yourself busy. the only time the phone rang was when your so called best friend finally called you, apologizing and asking about the concert. there was no explanation for them ignoring you for so long so you didn't say a word about the night you had with elvis.

the day was dragging on, it was hot and musty outside and the neighbors upstairs were arguing for the third time that evening. you were sat on the couch staring at the ceiling as a movie played in the background when the phone range. you turned your head towards the phone, almost afraid to answer it. picking it up, you nervously held it to your ear. “..hello?”

“is this y/n?”

your eyes widened. it was him. “elvis?” you gasped.

you could hear a slight chuckle on the other end. “hi darlin’, sorry for not calling. once i got to here, i just slept and uh….” he cleared his throat. “i was embarrassed…about-y’know.”

“not embarrassed enough cause you decided to call me” you joked.

“well, you got me there.” he laughed. “i wasn't feelin’ all that great so, i thought i’d suck it up and finally give you a call. how are you doin’?”

the two of you caught up. it hadn't been that long since you first met but it felt much longer. you rambled on about your friends and not being able to find a job, he rambled on about the colonel booking more dates.

“why don't you come down to memphis?”

“oh elvis, i don't have that kind of money–”

“did you really think i was gonna make you buy your own ticket?” he interrupted. “i can get you on the next flight down here. i just really need to see you.”

you didn't pass up on that offer. the flight was that same night, he had even arranged someone to pick you up and bring you to graceland. none of this felt real to you. you both spent nearly every second together, outside and inside of his home. he opened up to you even more, expressing his feelings about his mom, the colonel and the many friends who used him throughout the years. you told him about your hometown, how you didn't have many friends growing up and the struggle of keeping a job. it was like that for a few weeks.

eventually, people were starting to question his relationship with you. it wouldn't be long before the colonel started getting involved, especially with the new vegas shows coming up.

one morning, you were greeted by jerry, one of the few friends elvis trusted. he gave you a slight smile, wishing you good morning and asking how you've been. “i’ve haven't seen him like that in years, y’know.” he said.

you looked at him, puzzled. “like what?”

“happy.” you opened your mouth to respond, but nothing came out. “and for once, it's not because of the pills.”

you didn't see him much that day due to him being off recording an album, but you stayed at graceland, thinking about what jerry had said to you earlier. there was no denying it, you had feelings for him and you were positive he felt the same towards you. there was the occasional flirting and hand holding, maybe a few friendly kisses here and there but nothing more. now, it was just a matter of when elvis would confess to you his true feelings.

he returned home later that night, lighting up when he saw you dozing off on the couch. you jolted awake upon hearing the door shut. “hi, doll.” he whispered. “sorry for wakin’ ya.” sitting up, you rubbed at your eyes and got up from the couch. “i didn't mean to fall asleep, how was your day?”

he shrugged. “the usual. ‘m just ready to sleep” he sighed.

you hummed, stretching and wincing at the slight cracks your bones made. “i’ll let you sleep then, see you in the morning?”

“actually,” he took your hands in his, “would you sleep with me tonight?” he asked. his hands were warm against yours, you felt your heart skip a beat. “okay.” you responded, not giving it a second thought.

he took you to his room upstairs, you had been in there several times already but it was different this time. you sat in his bed and waited for him to return from the bathroom as he washed up. looking around, you couldn't help but notice the small bottle of sleeping pills next to him. he had always complained to you about never being able to fall asleep, maybe he just wanted some company tonight.

you watched as he stepped out of the bathroom and into his bed, bracing yourself for the conversation you were about to have with him.

“i-i spoke to jerry this morning.” you mumbled. his eyebrows rose, “oh? was he sayin’ anything bad about me?” you let out a small laugh. “no, no. nothin’ like that.” you stretched your legs out, playing with the hem of his blanket. “he said you've been happy lately.”

“i see.” he rubbed the back of his neck. “he said it was because of me.” you blurted out. elvis’s face turned red, “ah…that man..” he muttered, covering his face with his hands.

you removed his hands away from his face, giggling at him. “c’mon, sweet boy.” his face turned even more red. “don't call me that!” he felt his heart flutter at the pet name.

despite the many love songs he sang almost everyday, it had been awhile since he felt this much love for someone. he was absolutely, madly in love with you despite only knowing you for just a few weeks. your presence filled that emptiness that had been lingering in his heart for so long.

he looked away from you in embarrassment. “you can be honest with me, it's okay.” you squeezed his knee. elvis turned his head back towards you, fiddling with his hands nervously.

“i like you a lot, y/n. you breaking into my hotel room-”

“that was an accident!” you yelled.

“damn, honey! lower your voice!” he yelled back. “i’m trying to confess to you, let me finish! ever since that night, i haven't been able to stop thinkin’ about you. you don't know how bad i needed someone like you in my life…..baby, it gets lonely. i don't feel like that when i’m with you.”

you cupped his face, staring into his eyes lovingly. “can i kiss you?” you asked, softly. “yes, please.”

you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing his beautiful, soft lips that you adored so much. he tasted like mint from the toothpaste he used earlier mixed with your cherry chapstick and you wouldn't have it any other way.

you always imagined this day, but never once thought you'd ever get to kiss elvis presley. he always kissed fans during his shows. unfortunately, he missed you at the last show. but now you finally had your time and boy, was it worth the wait.

he pulled you onto his lap, deepening the kiss. you rolled your hips against his, forcing a small groan to escape his lips. the two of you continued for a few minutes till he pulled away, breathless and looking at you, pupils blown and with lust in his eyes. “baby, if we keep goin’, i’m not gonna last long.”

“mmm, i guess we'll have to find out, won't we?” you grinned.

#elvis x reader #elvis presley #elvis 2022 #elvis #elvis movie #elvis x y/n #ill post this on ao3 later #i cringed writing the last part idk how people write smut

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seeingivy · 20 days

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bsfs older brother sukuna asks!

(these are old asks so ik this is about the last chapter)

BUT EEK THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS IS SO SO SWEET. like legit all the characters are all my friends in real life but also they are all me and i LOVE that they feel real bc lowkey I put my own feelings into it 90% of the time so.

THANK U THANK U THANK U I LOVE U SM

will gladly take you up on the offer 💌 but on the real, THANK U SO SO MUCHHHHH

so real of you though bc he gives me hyperfixation too. chapters lately have only been so long or thought out because I think about him 24/7.

I am cooking some INSANE stuff like I need to chill out in the brain. it's giving method acting level "that was so unnecessary you did not need to write that" but here we are.

today I looked at the masterlist and realized the content tag said "light angst".....so I definitely need to go change that LMFAO.

this is also old. BUT APOLOGIES! do hope you loved the sammy arc bc as a girl with a big sister I LIVE FOR THE SAMMY ARC!

correct. they also do that one where you paint each other but y/n paints him really good and he just paints her as the babadook.

oh. my. goodness. YOU ARE AMAZING!!!

first of all, appreciate so bad that you don't comment about chapter updates. i gets lots of asks (both polite but also some that are kind of demanding) about when i post chapters but i appreciate that you just pop out and read when i'm ready to write.

i saw a post today about how people treat fic writers on this app like influencers, how there's an expectation to always be producing that comes with that short attention span content type relationship and i can't stop thinking about it. i do really think that my best work comes out of me being able to sit on it, think about it until i am ready to put it out (and I hope that it shows in the quality of the work that i'm trying to put my best foot forward instead of uploading all the time)

i am also just a girl™️ college is stressful, life is stressful, sometimes there's a lot going on and i disappear for a few weeks so i appreciate you always coming back when i'm ready!

and UGH thank you so much about the comments about the past and overcoming it. i've said this before but a lot of sukuna's past but also y/n's is from stuff that is quite literally me pulling the crazy thoughts out of my brain and putting it out there. even though what's happening in the fic isn't really happening to me, it does somehow make those types of things so much better for me when people send me sweet stuff like this and tell me that it makes them feel seen, or they feel things, because it makes me feel warm that I was somehow able to make all that pain worth it for someone else, even if it is in a silly little fanfiction. IDK im getting emotional tomorrow is the one year anniversary of me starting my silly little blog so im thinking lots of thoughts.

AND I LOVE YOU!

(I ignored all the asks about posting another chapter bc I already posted the new chapter LOL)

#asks!#bsfs older brother sukuna!

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destinyc1020 · 3 months

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yes im going opening night at 1am or technically friday night, I'll be fine I've read the books and love denis films. I am more worried about my anxiety more than anything. Huge dune book fan didnt want to wait but crowded theatres scare me more so 1am kinda works for me just getting home might be slightly difficult but I'll hopefully manage if something bad happens at least a zendaya movie will be my last 😭😭😭😭

Awww....

I understand girl. In this crazy world we live in, crowded theaters make me feel a little weird now days too. 🙃 From theater shootings, to covid..... like, going to the movies is risking your life sometimes. 🥴

I'm going to IMAX too..... which is way more people! 😳

But I'm just gonna relax and have fun. Quite a few friends and I are going. It's like the first movie event of the year lol so far.

Are you able to go with someone? Idk.... smthg about you going alone and then going home being "difficult" for you (at 4am) doesn't sit right with me. 😔

Please girl.... don't go by yourself. 🙏🏾 Grab a friend, a sibling, or SOMEONE to go with you that late to the movie theater...😭😭 Especially if you have anxiety.

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emeritus-fuckers · 5 months

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hello i was wondering if i could participate in the match up event?

I am afab and nb, I use any pronouns :) I'm cool with being any gender or being with any gender neither matters much to me

I lov the ghouls and their silly little shenanigans :)

I'm pretty feminine looking, I'm 5'1 and I'm built like a comic book male superhero like broad chest and shoulders but a straight line from the ribs down like a upside down dorito w legs

I'm asian so my eyes and hair are dark, my hair's like a shoulder-length wolf cut ish thing... idk I just hack at it. sometimes I wear glasses, but sometimes I just feel like being blind. When I get dressed I pretend like im dressing up in a fun little costume so my day is more whimsical and silly my go-to is like sailor uranus prince-type girl crush but a wizard or a wizard who is going on an epic expedition to recover lost artifacts but no matter the outfit the key is that I look like I'm secretly a merlin-style cartoonishly evil wizard. So i guess maybe like goth grunge academia something something pinterest buzzword Oh and I have major rbf, and it makes ppl scared of me

I'm an introverted person and I tend to be very logical but. I think different from a lot of ppl apparently. I've been described, to paraphrase, as "sort of ominous and mysterious but actually funny", "uncanny and unsettling in a good way", and "awkward and weird but its endearing" which just sound like insults. I like to live in my head and make silly stories and things to play with. Like every tumblr user I've got fucked up mental health and bad parents so I am kind of like one of those freaky ass chihuahuas that is always scared and shakes and bites people and has digestive issues. I tend to be hard to read or sort of deadpan so I like fucking w people since they can't tell if I'm joking bc i love mischeif and japes. I want to be a silly not-quite-supervillain like Dr doofinshmirtz or like a trickster archetype sort yk

I was a pretty intense synchronized swimmer for like 9 years I competed at like opens and nationals and all that when I was in school but my university doesn't have :( I'm on the rowing team now but I would rather do synchro esp since being my main thing was being flexible and it has no advantages in rowing lmaooo I've been a huge vocaloid fan since elementary school so I've been around in that community for a while (I am so well-adjusted). I like to make vocal synth covers and draw, especially when I'm able to work with producers to provide art for their vids it's so cool hehehehhe I mostly listen to vocaloid music but I like a lot of metal stuff as well that's how I found out abt gonst. I also like 2 play video gamez, I'm so fucking bad at them but I think it's rly funny so I just spend hours giggling and watching myself get mauled over and over.

I love horror a lot but I'm less a slasher girlie and more of a supernatural psychological tormet girlie esp if its got mythology or religions shit involved. Im majoring in history bc all good history ppl like silly metal and I wrote this instead of my abstract that's due in like an hour bc I have no idea what to do for the topic 🥲🥲

- the fuckin wizard

This post is part of the 1000 followers match up event. Entries for the event are now closed.

Your match is... Zephyr

They like listening to you talk about your major and interests. He's a very good listener.

While they might not be the best swimmer, they enjoy the activity and if you want to show off, they'll absolutely let you and be super proud.

He doesn't mind how unique your style is. He probably wouldn't really try to match clothes with you, but they'd try their best to buy you stuff you'd enjoy.

Since he doesn't really walk much, they picked up drawing and started doing it with you. They're surprisingly good at it for someone who just randomly said "I'm bored, maybe I should start drawing".

Also, horror movie date nights! They're also much more of a psychological horror person, but his favorite is of course the paranormal (he finds it hilarious) so you two take turns picking the movies.

Video game dates included, too. He's got a PS3 and the first three Uncharted games, as well as some others. Their favorite is Uncharted 3.

He'll insist you wear your glasses. He knows the consequences of ignoring his health. It's not fun.

Written by Nosferatu with the help of the wonderful and of @ask-zephyr-ghoul (ilysm pookie).

#ghost band #ghost bc #ghost #ask #anon #ghost band x reader #ghost bc x reader #ghost x reader #nameless ghouls x reader #nameless ghoul x reader #nameless ghoul #nameless ghouls #zephyr ghoul #zephyr #match up event #match up

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oscill4te · 5 months

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cringe to vent about it here but i have only ever been truly in love with one person- as in wanting to spend time with and build a life together with that person bc being around them is... i dont have words but like. someone who makes you feel a calm type of love rather than intense limerance or simple infatuation. someone you could listen to for hours and hours. someone who makes the world feel a little brighter when you get to spend time with them.. i think true love comes with strong friendships and we were very close friends who happened to have feelings for each other

sometimes i wonder, if our circumstances were just a little different, would we still be in each others lives? we were both living in abhsive households with caregivers who were not supportive and tried to tear us apart from each other, we both were young and things would get very messy/tense in our friendship sometimes

in these past 5 years i have changed so much as a person and i am so certain she has as well. would she even approve of me i wonder? would we be good friends as the mid-20s adults that we are now? how has she been, i wonder? What matters to her most in life these days? i dwell and dwell and dwell on things that can never happen or ask..

people always say you can reach out again, but i dont agree. In our circumstances i cant be the one to reach out bc i respect boundaries and she set a boundary she was clear about not wanting to speak again. we had a bad falling out. it hurts so much in a way words cannot ever really describe but i want her to be happy and if it means never speaking again thats okay. but even with 5 years passing, it is still so hard to not feel some type of way some days.

i sometimes wonder if she has these messy feelings about me sometimes. we both were seriously considering dating each other at some point and had feelings for each other. we were taking things really slow and it was also ldr

intense homoerotic friendships as a teenager w messy falling-out gang ride up... these feeelings are probably toxic but idk its genuinely how i feel. it feels cringe to miss someone so much after 5 years of not speaking but at the same time, she was my closest friend.. we were there thru thick and thin for each other. how can i not miss her? im slowly losing memories as i move on, while back then everything used to remind me of her, i would somehow be able to link things like as simple as a show, a fork, the opening of a fridge door to the anecdotes she'd tell me... i see a dog that looks like hers and i remember her. i will never forget her but id rather die than ever have her know that bc again, she cut me out so. I mean. :( complicated but its for the best

#oversharey personal post abt love #diary post #txt

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w3ath3r-0f-sw34t3rz · 21 days

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as many ttpd thoughts as i can coherently write down

first of all grateful for the folklore x midnights x 1989/rep sound we have going on here. i hate comparing artists but seriously the best way i can explain it is phoebe bridgers this album sounds like phoebe bridgers. not like it's a bad thing it's phoebe fucking bridgers!!!

i feel like it's so easy to call music "intimate," whether because of lyrics that feel personal or just a certain raw sound, or whatever else, but this album truly is the most intimate thing i think taylor's ever given us. i don't know what sets it apart, cuz at this point she's written plenty of deeply personal lyrics, but the way i best know how to describe it is that it truly feels like she trusts us.

anyway i'm willing to admit that this album isn't a spectacle or a revolution or game changer, and i know it won't satisfy everyone (ngl i'm scared to see what everyone else is saying bc they'll never understand Like I Do) but damn it sometimes that much is more than enough. without further adieu

fortnight a solid vibe. i'd literally love any song with the lyric "i love you it's ruining my life"

ttpd love that lucy and jack cameo that's about it. but really who else is gonna hold you

mbobhft AUGGGHHH THAT HOOK. you'd think you'd be able to tell which tracks are entirely self-written but you'd never guess some of the best tracks would you? jokes on me. love the metaphor (as i tend to do), big fan of infantilizing men (no like actually)

down bad this song was not clicking at first but it won me over with the alien abduction theme

so long london aw fuck yeah i knew i was right to claim this one. that hook is delectable. every verse is like a juicy kiss on the mouth i love this song yOU SWORE THAT YOU LOVED ME BUT WHERE WERE THE CLU

but daddy i love him this was the point where i thought to myself "wow this album is a lot more romantic than i would've thought" which, in hindsight, idk if that can be the consensus but still--this is such a feel good happy lovely time

fresh out the slammer evermore would love this one. yee haw

florida i mean there was really no way for this song to be bad and damn. twas not. this is a screamer fs. how on earth they managed to make a song about fucking florida feel like this mysterious shady world that we the people are not apart of is astounding to me

guilty as sin yas girl let your freak flag fly!!! successor to false god fr

who's afraid of little old me oh. o,h my god. taylor. taylor r u good honey. this song is fucking batshit wild oh my god YES GIRL TELL EM i will never be the same i could end the california drought with these tear ducks holy shit im gonna go set something on fire

i can fix him i love this bc this is literally my best friend and now they're gonna know how they look. that "woah maybe i can't" both absolutely slaps and is hilarious. also love how horny that bridge was yas girl let your freak flag fly!!

loml oh god. lmao my ass rlly thought this album wasn't gonna be too depressing. they had me in the first half ngl. i'm not crying you're crying nahhh we're both crying and you know it. the lyrics here really popped off, like more than the rest of the album and that's saying something. bonus i remember seeing someone theorize that it was actually gonna be "loss of my life" instead of love, and while i was listening i had that in the back of my mind, but then i was like "ok no it's actually love" but then THEY WERE RIGHT and i felt so accomplished for no good reason. so if ur that person who called it, good job brother

i can do it with a broken heart this one shocks me so good oml why is this making me wanna throw it back. with all do respect if you didn't want us to enjoy your suffering why did you make your suffering such a bop. /j that "i'm miserable and nobody knows!! :D" gives me chills but like in a good way. "try and come for my job" literally get it queen i love you

smallest man who ever lived it's quite funny to me that literally nobody was claiming this track and then it permanently altered my brain chemistry. back at it with the hooks damn. wow this one really. this one is really sticking with me guys

the alchemy yay the vibes are back!!!! sweet simple romance you gotta love it

clara bow you had me at that intro. shove that guitar down my throat if u will. this is the better version of the lucky one (im not sorry.) damn "you look like Taylor Swift in this light" gets me every time i'm sorry that will never not hit

the black dog OLD HABITS DIE SCREAAAAAMMMIIINNNNNGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG i did not expect to like this one as much as i do but i can't stop thinking about it

imgonnagetyouback i had really mixed feelings but i literally can't dislike this song it's straight up good (also this song is so gorgeous-coded its wild)

the albatross idk i just love this one it is so sweet to me. in the way molasses is sweet but still

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus this melody has wriggled its way into the few folds of my brain and i don't see it leaving soon. i love me some good whimsy. fr as i'm listening to it again rn i'm realizing how good this production is. anyways bi rights

how did it end? you know................... i was really trying to not tie her real life into any of these songs, since i really don't know that much lore + i'm not a big fan of obsessing over celebrities personal lives--relationships most of all (especially when it comes to taylor)--in general, but damn i immediately did just that with this song and.. wow. but aside from all of that oh my god welcome back to Songs On This Album That Absolutely Haunt Me

so high school this one's kinda crazy bc damn it's such a taylor swift song but the sound is so new to her and it kind of makes me cry. but anyhow "touch me while your bros play grand theft auto" is the funniest fucking line i have ever heard in my life

i hate it here oh wow hahhahahhahahahha taylor what the fuck :3 imagine relating to this song on an cosmic level lmfaooooo

thank you aimee removing from irl context, putting this song next to mean genuinely makes me want to cry. like the maturity and growth both happy and sad is so evident it's like watching my child graduate

i look in people's windows another stellar string hook thank you and goodbye. ok but fr the visual here is inherently funny

the prophecy claiming this one for the neurodivergents

cassandra yeah yeah drama i know but damnnnn greek mythology BANGER

peter *taking notes* never... trust.. a man.. named..... peter.........

the bolter she's a runner she's a track star (can you tell i've run out of things to say it's just a good fucking album)

robin ohohoho i am an absolute SLUT for a good ode to childhood

the manuscript now that's a story

and at last--my current rankings:

who's afraid of little old me?

so long, london

how did it end?

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus

the smallest man who ever lived

florida!!!

clara bow

the alchemy

loml

i can do it with a broken heart

the albatross

my boy only breaks his favorite toys

i look in people's windows

cassandra

fortnight

i hate it here

the black dog

but daddy i love him

thanK you aIMee

the bolter

guilty as sin?

robin

i can fix him (no really i can)

the prophecy

peter

the manuscript

so high school

fresh out the slammer

the tortured poets department

imgonnagetyouback

down bad

now i know being critical is not one of my specialties but seriously it's a solid album ok. midnights is literally my baby and it has a skip for me so

now naturally my enthusiasm for each song will potentially decrease and most certainly increase over time cuz that's how i process albums buttttttt yuh 👍

almost any other artist building an entire persona about being an emo poet would make me roll my eyes but damn it she's so right

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ask-rw-dark-au · 4 months

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Hello, you don't really need to answer this ask. I just enjoy your blog and well, idn, I just want to give a little bit of advice/encouragement. I'm bad with words, specially in English, which is not my first language, please don't take this as an insult or offense, I really tried to just come here in friendly terms (terms? That's how you said it? Idn 😅)

What I wanted to say it's, whatever you do in any fandom it's always best to do it for intrinsic motivators, specially if the fandoms are small. Having engament it's great, I'm a fanfic writer, I know that feeling of seeing any comment in my stories, but I learned long ago that I must do things for myself, for my personal enjoyment and fulfilment.

Don't get me wrong, i enjoy your blog, you will probably figure out who I am bc I'm gonna reblog stuff lmao but you know, do this for your own personal happiness, not to seek engament. I have stories from 2013 and even 2015 that to this day have no comments but I'm fine with it. I really enjoyed writing them and I'm proud of them, even if they have almost no engament at all, I wouldn't delete them for any reason <3

What I try to say it's try to not seek motivation in extrinsic motivators like engament and just do it to have fun! Do it for you, not expecting attention, but to just have fun and feel nice inside. Do gender bend, play with sexuality and relationships, explore and come out with new designs and lore, and enjoy it fully. Don't be afraid to take breaks if you need and come back when you feel like yeah, I wanna have fun with this again! I may be shooting myself in the foot since I'm saying dude take a break if you need, that it's totally fine, even tho I wnana see more of your ideas, but seriously, your personal enjoyment comes first :D

So yeah, have fun, ignore the haters and all that people that don't get what Au means can go live under a rock ;v

Have a nice day/night 😘

thank you so much for the ask !!!!! im answering it so other people can see since i think this is a really really good message,,,

i do my best to do things for my own enjoyment, and i do absolutely LOVE this au and i love making it :3333

however, ive always struggled with doing things i enjoy because of how often its ignored by friends, family, ect, so im prone to forgetting even though it was enjoyable

engagement helps me remember it exists, helps me get new ideas, and mostly helps me know that its worth posting to places. i dont enjoy doing things when nobody knows it exists, and although im not sure why, its kinda just how it goes for me idk man SHGSSGD

ive been taking breaks periodically throughout winter break, and thats why i usually answer asks in short bursts since it means they all build up and then i can answer them all at once :3 i get myself hyped to answer and then i can and it works pretty well for me,,,

fr man i think. i think that "au" is a bigpart of the "ask rw dark au"

sure, just about nothing in this au is the same as canon, but thats. thats the point of an au im just silly like that !!!!!!

ive been working on not relying on engagement to enjoy things, ive been getting better about it and i have been able to make things just because i like them

idk if it makes sense or not, but sometimes it feels like i shouldnt enjoy something when nobody else does or seems to, you know? ive struggled with people pleasing for years as well as having problems with adhd / anxiety (unmedicated) making it difficult for me to kinda just. do things guh

im not saying this bc i disagree because i dont at all i completely agree with what youre saying and i do genuinely appreciate this !!!!!

im working on getting better abt it and i think im going to delete the reblog post soon just because i dont really think its worth it, hopefully if i just keep answering asks and making designs and drawing these silly creatures ill be able to get past the worry that people dont like it and just start posting because i like it !!!

thank you so much !!!!!!!

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