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saerotonins · 9 months

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in a world full of boys, he's a gentleman

ft. nanami kento x fem!reader

— in which kento unintentionally proves how much of a husband material he is.

content warnings: fluff, smut, light angst, suggestive, making out, nanami kento being a certified hubby, fiancée!kento, weddings, mentions/implied slut-shaming, reader has horrible relatives, reader is described to be non-traditional, riding, p in v sex, creampie, breeding kink, daddy kink, choking, hair pulling, curses still exist but nobody dies (yay!) and geto is mentally fine and a teacher at jujutsu tech <33, im so in love with him, some can be considered bare minimum and subtle but idc if he does it he's the standard, kento loves it when you're checking him out, just kento being a gentleman, kento is so in love with you, you you and you in his mind, reader is just as the same btw, corny ass vow (idk how to write one srry)

wc: 5591 (holy shit lol)

note: im!! so!! head!! over!! heels!!! with!! this!! man!! (it's really not that obvious, right?) he's so dreamy he deserves a lot of kissy kisses and a ticket to malaysia <33 also!! just realized this is my first piece for 2024 tehehe happy new year, everyone! 🎀🎆

best enjoyed with: slut! - taylor swift

that time when you both went out for a picnic

the sunset paints the sky with the most vibrant colors as you and kento bask in each other's presence and sit on a picnic blanket, surrounded by the quiet sways of the green grass, accompanied by some people who decided to hang out around the vicinity.

it's one of those days that kento is blessed by once in a blue moon break from being a jujutsu sorcerer. kendo's always grateful to have this kind of day because it would mean that his hands would spend their time stealing soft touches against your skin instead of fighting curses.

a faint clink can be heard when you and kento toast your glasses together, half filled with your favorite champagne. it's a tad bit sweet to kento's liking as he is not good with sweets, but he opted to bring it to your picnic instead of his favorite whiskey because he knows you love it.

kento watches you put your lips on the champagne flute and drink your sweet alcohol with glee. he takes a small sip from his as he stares at you with admiration.

satisfied with your drink, you set it aside on your coaster as you lean your head on kento's shoulders. "such a lovely day, isn't it?" you say while you close your eyes, soaking in the remaining rays of the sunshine before it sleeps, allowing the night to take over the sky.

kento hums in approval as he puts his free hand on your head, giving it gentle and loving pats as he rests his head against yours, but not before giving you a quick peck. "we should do this more often,"

"i agree; you should ditch gojo more and spend more time with me," you joked, and you heard your fiancée chuckle, "that wouldn't be so professional of me, darling," it's your turn to let out a chuckle.

"it's gojo; being professional is already out of the window."

"you're right, maybe i should," kento jested back.

the two of you just sat in comfortable silence until a slightly strong gust of wind blew in your direction. caught by the shock of it all, you close your eyes and hold your sundress down to avoid flashing the strangers. but before you could even do it, a strong pair of arms wrapped around you.

kento had covered you, so any speck of dust blown by the wind wouldn't be able to get into your eyes. your sundress is also held down by his knees between your legs. when you opened your eyes, you were greeted by your fiancée's face close to yours, assessing you. you suddenly feel your stomach tumble and fill with butterflies.

"are you okay? didn't get anything in your eyes?" he says gently, eyes observing you with worry. you give him a slight nod, "mhm, i'm fine kento, how about you?" kento answered with a hum as he tried to fix your dress and some parts of the picnic blanket that was slightly blown away by the wind.

"i think that's the cue for us to pack up, or do you want to stay for a while?" kento asks you while he starts to pack up some of your stuff into the picnic bag. "we should stay until the sun completely sets, it's a shame to leave while the sky looks pretty."

kento nods and finishes packing before he sits beside you, looking at the view. he then makes your head lean on his shoulders once again, his hands caressing the top of your head. "yeah, i agree, the sky looks pretty." he states.

he feels you nod and continues, "but you're prettier to look at," he says as he looks down at you and to his surprise, he meets your eyes on him. "i could say the same to you, kento," you say before capturing his lips against yours.

kento smiles on your lips before reciprocating your gesture, slightly tasting the remnants of your sweet champagne earlier.

and at that moment, he thought, it doesn't matter if his tongue tasted something so sweet, as long as it's from your lips.

that time when you went christmas shopping

the mall filled with bustling crowds is not a perfect way to spend time with your fiancée. but when this is the only time your schedules align to go for a last-minute shopping to buy gifts for your loved ones, you don't really have a choice.

kento especially noticed how much you were on edge today despite being excited to buy gifts for everyone especially his mentees. you weren't the type to enjoy a busy crowd, so he knows how to elevate your stress.

store after store, he gave you every opinion he had (that you asked for) ever so gently and thoroughly but not too much to overwhelm you since you're technically a ticking time bomb now. kento was attentive at every store you went to and immediately picked out gifts you thought were best to give. he stood up in the busy and long line as he let you sit on the lounge chair present in the store.

by the time you're done shopping, he carries all the bags and refuses to give you any (even the small ones). and when you insist, he gives you an offended look, telling you he can manage.

while you're walking to leave the mall, your stares don't go unnoticed by your fiancée as he sees you mindlessly gawking at his arms that flex every time he has to fix the bags while walking.

and that makes carrying your shopping bags even more worth it to him.

that time when you got drunk at a new year's party

gojo has set a new year's party that includes everyone in jujutsu tech in one of his vacation homes in japan. it was supposed to be a reasonably small party but this is gojo satoru we're talking about; he's going to be extra about anything and everything.

the party is semi-formal and requires everyone to dress up nicely. kento does not enjoy parties, but seeing you dress up in a pretty dress that enhances your assets makes him think that attending this event has benefits too.

the party wasn't uneventful per se, but despite the semi-formal wear that everyone was rocking, the event itself was casual. the house was filled with laughter and noise, mainly from the students and everyone else sharing stories and conversing. an hour or two into the party, you and kento decided to part ways as you go on your way to interact with gojo, geto, and shoko.

kento trusted you enough to be alone with them so he opted to talk with some of his colleagues whose presence calms him (obviously not gojo). he spent his time talking with higuruma, sharing ideals and mundane stuff they both enjoyed doing. it was a calming conversation for both men, who wanted peace and tranquility.

"there's this store that sells rare vintage vinyl; i think you'll love to shop there," higuruma suggests as they talk about collecting vinyl, a hobby they share. kento was about to reply, but even before he opened his mouth, he heard a very loud—

"nanamin!" which made both men turn their heads in the direction where the sound came from.

the voice no doubt belonged to itadori, his face painted with concern as he rushed to kento's area. "what is it itadori?" he asked the young man the moment he arrived while panting.

"your wife! she's—" before itadori can even finish his sentence, kento's already sprinting to where you are, itadori following suit.

kento doesn't need to know what he needs to say; the worry on itadori's face, accompanied by your name, is enough for him to look for you.

turns out you're drunk of your mind.

when kento arrives in gojo's kitchen, it's just you and him having a very drunk and heated argument about whether cereal or milk comes first.

"no! that's so stupid, cereal should come first, think about it you stupid idiot, if you pour milk first, you'll miss the chance to fill the bowl with so much cereal!" your fiancée sees you standing on gojo's kitchen island alongside him, slurring your words as you sway the glass of wine in the air, threateningly spilling as you keep on moving.

gojo scoffs at your argument, "maybe t'was the point! it's all about ratio, how else can you enjoy cereal when there's too much cereal and little room for milk!" he barks back, holding a—

is that a massive cup of sunrise tequila? no wonder he got so drunk, kento thought as he sighed.

"there's no such thing as ratio for you, gojo! you're the same person who adds too much pineapple on pizza that it becomes disgusting!" you shouted at gojo's face as you continuously pointed at his chest with your index finger.

across the kitchen island stood geto and shoko with unamused faces, looking like they were just waiting for everything to die down on its own. kento sighs and asks them, "did they have an alcohol-drinking battle again?" and all they reply is a solid nod.

"gojo got too competitive and drank that sweet poison, which led to this... argument," shoko adds, looking at both you and gojo incredulously. "they immediately started gulping down the alcoholic drinks right after midnight," geto said, a chuckle threatening to leave his lips.

"please help me break them up," your fiancée kindly pleads to geto and shoko. they immediately showed empathy to their former junior and decided to hold gojo back together while kento held onto you.

it took almost half an hour to break you and gojo apart, not to mention the commotion and your silly drunk discussions that blew out of proportion because the both of you are just so passionate and no one would back down without a fight. after successfully separating the two of you, kento immediately guided you away from the party and to your car, not without leaving shy goodbyes to the people he would face along the way.

the drive back home was thankfully not chaotic, but it was definitely filled with your drunken chatter as you slur words kento can barely make out.

getting you to your shared home was relatively easy; you were patient enough to let kento walk you off to the front door and remove your heels before gently placing you on the couch.

he was about to let go and grab some water until you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer to your face; kento felt his heart race. "hey there," you whispered against his lips, distance threateningly close.

kento could smell the alcohol on your breath, probably a mixture of beer, wine, and then some. still, he couldn't bring himself to care when he knew your lips would probably taste slightly sweet. "have you ever been this handsome, kento?" you ask, your voice dripping honey despite being out of your mind, trapped in your own drunken bubble.

"maybe that's just the alcohol's doing, darling," he jokes.

"no no, i think i already saw this face years ago."

"really?"

"really. you look even more handsome now, you should give me a kiss," you say as you pucker your lips, slowly leaning towards his.

kento couldn't even say no even if he didn't want to (not that he will ever not want to kiss you). he decides to give you a swift peck just to entertain your shenanigans, but when he is about to let go, you deepen your kiss, tightening your wrap on his neck, forcing him to lean forward and straddle you with one of his thighs digging on the couch.

he can taste the red wine you had recently drunk, and he's confident he can get drunk with your lips alone. kento's mind went hazy as he moved against your lips languidly, letting himself drown in your kiss. he wanted this to last longer, even take it further, but alas, kento has always been a man of self-control, so he lets go of you, not before giving you one last kiss on the forehead before heading to the kitchen.

the whole night, kento tends to your every need that you couldn't do. he had prepared you a warm bath, removed your makeup, and did your skincare for you that he knows at the back of his hand. he had lathered you up with your favorite lotion, dried your hair (not without a fight since your drunk self found the hair dryer too loud), and kissed you good night before tucking you to bed, leaving a pack of aspirin and a water bottle on your nightstand before sleeping.

the morning after, you woke up to the smell of your favorite soup and your fiancée insisting on feeding you even though you told him you could manage.

you make sure to pay him back really well that same day.

that time when you attended a family reunion

it's always this dreaded day you always wanted to avoid but couldn't.

you would rather stay home with kento rather than attend a gathering that will just piss you off, but your mom had pleaded with you to come— "so that they won't gossip about you," she said.

you know that's a lie; whether or not you attend, they'll always find a way to talk about you anyway; there's no winning. but since you wouldn't want to let your mother down, you suck it up and prepare for it regardless.

what makes you nervous is that this is the first time Kento has come along— or more like you let him come along.

you had heard complaints from your relatives about not meeting kento when he was still your boyfriend, and now that you're engaged, you should've at least let them meet him. you begrudgingly agreed, but it doesn't mean you're not nervous.

your relatives have been annoying throughout your life, always meddling with things they shouldn't even care about.

it always started with asking about your weight change, school activities, grades, chosen course, and relationships, not to mention the ever-so "you should do better" undertone in all aspects of your life. and for some reason, always making you feel small is included in their mandatory list to piss you off.

you know that once you let them meet your now fiancée, they would bombard him with questions and annoy you and him for the rest of the day. you only keep up with the tradition because your mother is too kind to tell them off, laughing awkwardly when they berate you and always giving you a silent apology through her eyes.

it wasn't her fault; you just wish she'd shut them off.

kento had noticed your change of behavior ever since this morning while preparing in your home. you had been silent and spacing out, only replying when he had finally snapped you out of your daze. he doesn't know what the deal was with your relatives, but all he knows is that your mood drastically changes whenever they're involved in the conversation, and that's enough for him to tell you that they're not really good news.

"are you sure you want to go, honey? we can always drive back home," kento said with worry, cutting through the thick tension in the car. "it's fine; I can handle it; we're almost there anyway. it would be a waste if we turn around," you tell him with a smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes.

Kento replied with a small smile, taking your hand to his face and kissing your knuckles, "just know that i'll always be there, alright?"

you nod, feeling slightly relieved, before looking out the window to drink in the scenery as you pass by.

it turns out you can't handle it.

you thought your relatives would be a little tamer because you have someone over, but you were totally wrong.

ever since you both arrived, your aunties had surrounded kento and bombarded him with questions. from his age, degree, university he graduated from, where you met, wedding date, monthly income (which is incredibly embarrassing), to how many children he plans to have.

most of it wasn't a problem, but your blood boiled the moment they asked about what he saw from you.

this would've been such a sentimental moment if it weren't for your auntie's sarcastic tone, as if the question was meant to belittle you, to make you feel like you're not worthy of him.

when kento was about to open his mouth just to pour out how much he loves you and how he's lucky to have you, one of your aunties butt in with their loud mouth.

"well, she isn't really a traditional partner isn't she?" she said, a smug smile forming on her ugly and wrinkly face. "yeah, i mean, i assume with a fine man like you wouldn't be attracted to someone like her," another one added.

kento clenches his fists as he felt fury fire inside of him. how dare they think about you like this and talk about you like this, like you weren't just in front of him, seething in pain and anger.

he was about to give a proper and calm response when your uncle had spoken, "besides, she dresses like a... you know," then an ugly cackle. "a what?" your auntie had joined, taunting him to say the word.

"oh, you know, like a sl-"

that was the final nail in the coffin. his words are cut off when kento angrily smashes both palms on the table, seemingly angry, forming an angry red aura you have never seen. "i've had enough," he started, while all eyes are on him, including yours.

"i will not allow any single one of you to disrespect my wife any longer. i will not tolerate your old and immature ways of talking about her. i've been patient enough, but this bullshit is something I will not allow," kento's vulgar choice of words has made everyone's eyes at the table grow wide, shocked.

"i would say this respectfully, but you guys weren't to my wife either, so please, i'll say this once," he inhales, trying to calm himself down.

"fuck off," kento declares before taking your hand and exiting the venue.

during the walk to the car, he had been slowly calming himself down. once you reach it, kento holds your face gently, "i'm sorry for the outburst there; i just couldn't stand them disrespecting you any longer, so I had to." he says before putting a gentle yet quite long kiss on your forehead.

once he lets go, he sees your face. your eyes had been filled with tears, and it broke his heart. "that's fine, i've been wanting to tell them to fuck off for years anyway. if anything, i should thank you," a smile spread through kento's face before opening the car door to let you in.

once the both of you are finally settled in your seat, you ask, "by the way, I just noticed you called me your wife; what was that all about?" you ask him out of curiosity. he knows you're happy about that based on how happy your voice sounded when you asked him.

"i'm just so sure you'll end up with that title anyway, unless you're having cold feet?"

"oh god, no! i'm just touched, 's all," you shrugged as you settled in your seat, a smile stretched across your face.

kento chuckles and leans forward to kiss your cheek before starting the engine and driving off.

your mom visited you and kento later that week, saying she was happy she was finally not invited to the next reunion. she then made you your favorite dishes as an apology for that day.

you don't mind what gossip they would come up with next, not when you have the kind of man kento is.

their little toxic gossip train had nothing compared to the love that kento gives you every single day anyway.

that time when you asked him to be rough

the night is still young and cold but kento does know how to make it hot.

his hands fumble the plush ass as you keep on taking his cock, sloppily riding him as you let your hips and thighs do the work. your cunt meticulously takes all of him, molding your walls just like it was made for him. "hah, faster darling, please," kento pleads, voice broken and desperate for release.

his calloused hands caress your body gently like you are someone sacred, a figure that shouldn't be harshly touched or you'll be condemned, the same hands that used to exorcise and kill curses without a single thought. and yet with you, he carefully carries them lightly, holding onto your waist, not too tight enough to leave you in pain.

you feel your stomach tie into a knot, slowly feeling yourself come to a climax, "shit, kento, you're so big, mngh, make me feel so full," you say through gritted teeth, further speeding up your pace. the sound of your thighs slamming against his echoes through your bedroom, accompanied by your ragged breaths and kento's broken moans of pleasure.

your fiancée's hands then find their place back on your ass, squeezing it tight, but not too much, guiding you to bounce on his cock more as he feels himself closer. "s'good for me, yeah? taking me like a good girl?" kento looks at your eyes lovingly, his brown orbs touching your soul. you nod, not finding the words to say, mind too hazy to answer as you keep on taking his dick, taking him in like you always do.

"yes, oh god, yes, kento— please, inside— me," were the only words you managed to let out as your movements kept on getting sloppier and sloppier each moment passed by. he knew what it meant, and who he to deny such a polite request?

kento let himself release inside of you with a groan, making sure every drop of his cum is given to you.

your pants envelope the room as you both try and catch your breaths— then a beat of silence.

you take kento's face in the palm of your hands and caress his cheek, "you know, i sometimes wish you could be rough," you say as you observe his sexed stupor, "i occasionally get rough on you, don't i?" he asks, eyebrows raised with confusion.

"no, like i mean, rough rough," you emphasize, "you're always so gentle. you don't think i can handle you?" faux sadness evident in your voice, one that your fiancée can never say no to, not when you're asking this nicely. "oh darling, i'm sorry, i will do it next time," he coos, fixing the loose strands on your hair by tucking them behind your ear.

"we can do it now?" you suggest, making the corner of kento's lips perk up, "oh? you sure you can handle it?"

"i know i can handle it," you say as your voice rang with confidence.

you knew kento had it in him to be rough, but good god, you never expected him to be this good.

he had given you a more than good fucking, which leads you drooling on your sheets, with your back arched, ass up, and your hands held behind by kento as he drills his cock into your sopping cunt. his hands left prints on your ass and thighs, which left a delicious burn on your skin. "want to take my babies, don't you?" kento says as his hips meet your asscheeks.

"mnghh, yes, daddy! full— 'f your babies!" that was enough for him to unload himself inside of you, burying himself deeper to make sure you'll take all of it before he pulls out.

you were about to sit up, panting, when you felt kento's large hands wrap around your neck from behind, squeezing it while the other was pulling your hair.

"who said i was done with you, pretty?" the deep timbre of his voice went straight to your pussy.

this side of your fiancée is undoubtedly a pleasant surprise.

the following day, though, you were treated again like a queen, a bath ready for you by the time you woke up, surrounded with fresh flower petals that he had taken the time to buy from your nearest flower shop, and your favorite candle burning alongside your bath products. kento also insisted on giving you a full body massage to ease any tension and muscle ache.

you asked for it anyway, but you also don't mind this kind of treatment from him every now and then.

that time when you had a cold

you woke up feeling like absolute shit.

you don't know when or why it happened; it just did.

your head was throbbing the moment you opened your eyes, squinting at the sun rays that peeked through your windows. your body felt heavier than usual, and your shoulders felt sore. kento had taken notice of this as soon as he woke up, tending to your every need.

it pains your fiancée to see you in such a state, voice hoarse, your sniffles meet with a crumpled-up tissue near your nightstand, a mucus-filled cough every now and then, and an occasional "my throat hurts" whenever you speak. you had begged him to bring you some slightly cold water along with your food because lukewarm water doesn't hit just the same. but being the ever-responsible adult that kento is, he says no, leaving you sulking as you begrudgingly eat your food with a frown.

taking your medicine, though, is a different kind of task.

you stall every single time, finding it hard (or hating) to swallow the pills. even more so if he gave you water with a dissolved effervescent tablet, claiming it's too gross to drink, even if it doesn't really have any flavor. whenever you're sick, this is always the obstacle he has to face.

"please give me some juice or candy kento; it'll help when i drink the medicine," you begged, adding a touch of cooing pleases to make him say yes.

"i think the sweets you ate are what led you this way, darling," he says, which practically means no.

a pattern he noticed is that whenever you eat too much salt or sweets without drinking the right amount of water, it always leads to you getting this sick. "it'll just be a little sip, please? baby?" you had finally hit a new low, busting out the occasional nickname when you need something from him.

"you're a big girl, honey; you can drink this. here, i'll cover your nose for you," at this point, you just let him do it; there's no way you'll be able to convince him. you reluctantly nod and decide to drink the medicine instead.

kento pinched the sides of your nose together, effectively covering the smell, or lack thereof (he doesn't even know why he covers your nose, he just knows you'll take it if you don't smell anything). your face scrunched as your tastebuds are met with an unfamiliar and unwelcome taste, but you drink it anyway, your throat desperately chugging it so you can be done with it right away.

once you felt that you had finally consumed all of the medicine, you immediately let go of kento's hold on your nose, quickly reaching out to the glass of lukewarm water on your nightstand. after you drink enough to allow the aftertaste of the medicine to go, you place it back and let yourself lie in bed.

"i'll prepare you dinner, and i'll be back, alright?" kento takes away your glasses and places them on the tray he had brought them with. he was about to leave the room when he felt you tugging on his shirt "hm? do you need something?"

you shake your head, "no, just... thank you,"

a small smile spread on his face, your fiancée takes his free hand on your head and gently ruffles your hair, "this is nothing to thank about darling, i'm just doing my job," he bends down and gingerly places a long kiss on your forehead, "i love you, get some rest."

you nod, but not before giving him a small smile back.

that night after you had eaten your dinner and drank your medicine (albeit hesitantly), you spent the night with kento caging you in his firm, warm arms.

you feel yourself get better by then.

that time when you got married

when you walked down the aisle, kento looked at you like you had hung the stars for him. his eyes sparkle as he sees you wearing the gown you've been working on for months; even kento himself can't believe he's seeing an angel.

is this what heaven is? is this a dream? are you even real? how lucky is he to be with someone like you?

kento always believed you're out of his league, someone out of reach, and like the stars from the sky, the only way to capture your beauty is through his eyes. but he couldn't believe that the universe was on his side, fate working its way to make him yours, and he happily obliged.

cupid had shot him through the heart, and you stole it, and he can't even be mad at it. he'd happily give you all of him at the snap of your fingers. let himself be bare to you; let himself mesh with you. your soul, senses, beliefs, and love clouded onto him.

he consumes every single aspect of you within him, lovers stitched together by fate that no one can even cut.

kento sees himself becoming one with you, so he will never regret the time he got on his knees to present you with the prettiest ring he could ever find, but nothing can compare to the beauty you carry, not even this ring.

when you accept him with a delighted "yes," kento swears he's the luckiest man alive ever, blessed by your whole being.

so when you finally reach his side, everyone becomes a blur, his eyes focused on you the whole time, soaking in your beauty; he can't believe this is the face he's going to see every morning for the rest of his life.

"hey handsome, you look great," you say, holding kento's hand. "i could say the same to you, pretty," he replies, and he had to stop himself from kissing you right there and then.

and comes with the exchange of vows; kento feels slightly nervous but proud because he gets to declare his love for you in front of the people you both cherish most.

he clears his throat before opening up the letter in his hands and looks at you with such love and contentment.

"to the person who helped me see love in your form,

you've always painted colors on my blank canvas, and i cannot thank you enough. you shed light when i'm in my darkest days, have been with me through my stormy nights, and share my gloomy days.

you have been the compass to my lost soul, guiding me to the destination i know as love. you give harmony to my life as your laughter always brings music to my ears; your voice reminds me that you're here with me. you had composed the greatest symphony that sang its way to my heart, making me bare my soul, something that i will never regret," kento pauses, his voice croaked, words stuck in his throat as he tries to stop his tears from spilling. he fails to hear the audience coo in awe, focusing on you.

he continues, "loving you became my eternal pursuit, my garden whose roots are planted deeper than the sea where my endearment continues to blossom.

every step with you feels like a dance, one that i will not get tired of swaying my heart with. your hands had made a map of my body and soul, imprinted the images of love one couldn't see, and only i could feel.

and the only time i get to call something home, i stare into the deep abyss of your eyes and see myself tangled with you.

with you, i am willing to get even our souls intertwined, dancing through life as we face the uncertainty together, with love ink deep within my veins.

to my anchor, my only solace, the only anthem my heart will forever sing,

i hope the warmth of your arms will forever embrace me, even after death." the attempt to keep his tears falling fails, so does the audience, and so did you.

your eyes filled with tears, but one that's full of love. your heart feels so full that it's threatening to spill out of you. you love kento so much that it hurts; it aches to the core that someone could ever love you this much.

and you're forever thankful.

that day, your promises to each other are officially sealed with a kiss so intense and wedding bands that even evil couldn't break, that no trespassers shall get into and rip your bond away.

when kento's lips met yours, it was soft, it was warm, it was sweet, it was comforting.

finally, your husband thinks.

that day sealed the chapter to your newfound forever.

another note: i'm not so proud of the vows i made but i hope it captured kento enough lol srry 😭

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going-to-ikea-for-the-fries · 7 months

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It's a Match! || 141 x Reader

[ Chapter 10 ] || [ Chapter 12 ]

Pairing: 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.1K~ Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: i'm in love with gaz

Chapter 11: Excuse me?

A DM suddenly shoots up to the top of the pile in Kyle’s Tinder DM list and his eyebrows raise when he sees your name.

It’s been a month and a half, maybe longer, since you two last matched and after the brief rejection and you having gotten with Price, his life moved on and he kind of forgot you existed.

But your sudden message whose preview starts with “hey sorry to be botheri-” intrigues him so he presses it.

you: hey sorry to be bothering u but i figured it was safe to dm u about this because between u and johnny u seemed to be the most mature one! is simon okay? he stopped replying to me like a week ago and im concerned

Kyle’s eyebrows shot up on his forehead upon reading the question.

Kyle: he’s been texting u? 🤨 you: HI! yeah he has Kyle: excuse me? 🤨🤨 Kyle: like texting texting u. Kyle: as in you text him and he answers and u 2 chat? 😐 you: yes? 🙃 Kyle: tf kind of witchcraft did u pull on him? 🤨 Kyle: he doesnt text. Kyle: not one of us can get more than a thumbs up reaction to our texts in the groupchat. 😑 you: he texts me! Kyle: 😫?? Kyle: jesus christ. you: you didnt answer is he okay?? 😭😭

Kyle thought back on a reason why Ghost would suddenly, well, ghost you. But he can’t think of any… Ghost is a notoriously bad texter, it doesn’t surprise him that he went MIA…

And then it hits him.

It’s 8 A.M. in the rec room of their floor and Ghost was making tea just as Johnny was taking a seat in the couch.

Kyle oofed as Johnny hit him, throwing his legs over Kyle’s lap. “Watch it mate, fuck you’re bloody heavy!” He complained.

“AH, FUCKIN’ HELL!” Ghost cursed as he threw his hands up in the air the sound of water dripping on the floor catching his attention.

Kyle looked over to see Ghost had spilled his boiling hot water everywhere on the counter.

“You alright L.T.?” Soap asked a she lifted his head over the back of the couch to peer at Simon just like Gaz was.

“Great.” Ghost grunted as he picked up his phone from the counter, which was also dripping in water, while his other hand threw a rag onto the mess of water dripping down from the counter.

“Oh fuck… ‘s your phone dead?” Soap asked and Ghost grumbled under his breath, not quite answering the question, as he busied himself soaking up the spilled water.

Just then, Price showed up at the rec room door. “Simon, gear up. Got a briefing for a solo mission in 10.”

“Fuckin’ hell, yeah, yeah, I got it.” Ghost grunted as he cleaned the mess and then rushed out the door, leaving his mug of tea in the counter and clutching his now broken phone in his hands.

Kyle: hes fine. Kyle: he spilled water on his phone and killed it I think. Kyle: and he got sent out before he could get it fixed. 🙃 you: oh okay good! you: thanks! you: sorry to have bothered you! 🙏 Kyle: now wait just a minute. 😤 Kyle: u need to explain how in the hell u and ghost talk.👀 you: ghost? Kyle: that’s his work name. 🤷‍♂️ you: fitting seeing as i thought he ghosted me Kyle: THAT’S THE JOKE I MADE JUST NOW TO MYSELF! 😭 you: were in sync it seems 😭 Kyle: answer the question tho. you: idk what u want me to answer with Kyle: wdym u dont know??? explain yourself. Kyle: how do you get ghost to text u???? you: idk? im funny ig Kyle: 😑 you: im sorry if thats not what u want to hear Kyle: wait Kyle: a couple weeks ago he was out all night Kyle: during morning training soap was talking about how he had a date Kyle: was he with u? 👀👀 you: soap? Kyle: johnny. Kyle: keep up cmon now. you: jeez don’t patronize me you: yes simon was with me Kyle: 👀👀👀 Kyle: i see. Kyle: tell me more. you: theres nothing to tell Kyle: thats a lie and u know it. you: its not!!! Kyle: cmon. Kyle: u cant just meet with a bloke with a skull mask on and then say u dont have anything to tell. 😑😑 you: a skull mask?? Kyle: did he not wear a mask when he was with u? 🤨🤨 you: yes? you: a black one Kyle: with a skull print on it yeah? you: no??? 🙃 you: just black! Kyle: jesus christ. Kyle: and what? what happened? you: nothing?! Kyle: walk me thru it. you: we went out for a drink then came back to mine and watched a movie! Kyle: 🤨🤨 Kyle: and had a shag? you: NO???? Kyle: wdym no? thats what would normally happen with a bloke. you: and???? you: this is simon were talking about kyle you: nothing about him screams normal exactly 🙃 you: hes joked about being able to kill me with his bar ehands you: bare hands* Kyle: fair. Kyle: this raises more questions for me. you: what Kyle: like u would meet with a masked bloke that can kill u with his bare hands alone without protection? 🤨 you: i had protection Kyle: not a condom. you: oh 😅 you: well we met at a pub soooo Kyle: what did u 2 do then Kyle: other than watch a ‘movie’ 🙄 you: played mario kart you: slept Kyle: as in Kyle: you SLEPT? like honk shoo honk mimimimi? you: yes🙄🙄 Kyle: im confused. you: ur confused? im fucking confused bro Kyle: wdym u SLEPT TOGETHER? 🙃 Kyle: WHAT KIND OF WITCHCRAFT IS THIS? Kyle: wtf have u done to him Kyle: like ghost doesnt text, he sure as shit doesnt visit people, and he doesnt go on dates, he doesnt sleep next to people, im almost sure the man doesnt have feelings or emotions and only speaks in sarcasm Kyle: how can u get that out of him?? 🤨🤨 Kyle: no one else can! you: well with that mentality you cant you: idk what to tell u you: we hit it off 🙄 Kyle: explain yourself. you: ive been explaining it!!!!! Kyle: no explain it better. Kyle: I think Im having a stroke. you: idk how to make it clearer??? Kyle: thats it. Kyle: are you free rn?? Kyle: I need u to explain urself. 😑 you: Im at work? Kyle: whens ur lunch break? 👀 you: in 35 minutes. Kyle: do u like ramen? you: yes? Kyle: whats the closest japanese to ur job? you: Akira Kyle: meet me at Akira for lunch. Kyle: I’m buying. you: who said i want to meet up with u?? 🤨🤨 Kyle: man just get down there. Kyle: im offering to pay. you: fineeeee 🙄

Kyle quickly hopped up from his seat at his desk with a start and rushed back to his room to change out of his fatigues.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

taglist (CLOSED! not adding anyone else, sorry!): @daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling , @tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva , @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe , @kariiiel , @ltbarnes , @irregulardongyoung , @spacelia , @hayleybarnesx , @infpt-zylith , @xxshadowbabexx , @frescoisnotinthemilitary , @leeeenistop , @lucienbarkbark , @zombie-freak , @wittleespur

@severenswife , @enarien, @agoodmoviekiss , @l0lziez , @whos-fran , @greatstormcat , @openup-yourmind , @neoarchipelago , @sodavrr , @cutiecusp , @lilliumrorum , @c-nstantine , @kneelforloki , @comeonatmebruh , @codsunshine , @waiting-so-long , @captainquake42 , @gazspookiebear , @mynameismisty , @reap3erslov3 , @reaper-chan666 , @poohkie90 , @kitwithnokat , @stick-the-dumbass , @mothsdrabbles , @justanerd1 , @thesinsoflust , @thriving-n-jiving , @blckbrrybasket

#ikea writes 💚#it's a match! fic #cod modern warfare #cod fanfic #captain john price #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #text story #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader

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hattersarts · 2 months

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hi! ;_; i come to you seeking wisdom: do you know of any f/f ships featuring mothers/mother figures? I know persephone/nyx or hekate/selene but i was trying to find others and can't think of any. There's no way there's only two. So i thought I'd ask you since it sounds like something you might know about?

Hi!! sorry this took so long to respond, i wrote the answer out once and then my web browser refreshed on me and i lost all my paragraphs 💀💀💀💀💀

Im going to assume you mean strictly mother/mother pairings (i don't know hekate/selene so don't know what those dynamics are)

Emma Swan/Regina Mills (Once Upon a time) These guys were the top f/f ship on ao3 for years for a reason, they literally share a son BUT ARE MORTAL ENEMIES AS DECREED BY A MAGICAL CURSE. AND THEN THEY HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER. the show is often batshit insane but when you get 13K fics that cover a massive range of plots and are so well written i cant complain. s1 is recommended watching to get into the fic but honestly even just the first half of s1 is probably fine and then a plot summary of the rest. Grace Hansen/Frankie Bergstein (Grace & Frankie) i mean am i not supposed to root for the two women who's husbands cheated on them with each other to then get together?? fic pool has a lot of established older writers in it so the quality is so good and grace is the best non-canon comp het character to ever exist (yes even within the the text of the show, some of the things she does are CRAZY) lmao i guess i can also suggest alicent/rhaenyra from House of the Dragon, but the depends on if you enjoy GoT/HotD things (its milfs with shared history i enjoy them a great deal)

I've a few others that are very minor (lol Queen Lillian/Fairy Godmother anyone) but these are the biggest mother/mother pairings that come to mind that have somewhat of a fandom. I've a few that are single mother/single character that have kids as an important part of the ship but not sure if thats what you're looking for.

#ask #kawouwu

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radioactivesweet · 1 year

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Ok hear me out, what about moon god s/o x Poseidon, its been itching my mind cause of the sea x moon troupe.

What i imagine is, s/o being a powerful god like nyx but rarely appears so only a few gods know or saw them so Poseidon became curious about this mysterious (beautiful) god. Feel free to add more about this!! im just really craving for someone to write this 🥹

Uhhh I like this concept a lot!! I tried to keep the reader's gender kinda neutral, I hope it's fine^^ btw I really enjoyed writing this!

word count: 1.2k

Poseidon often found himself staring at the moon. He couldn't really explain why he would do that - not that anybody would dare asking the God of the Sea what he was doing. Unbothered, Poseidon would stand silenty on the ivory balcony, looking up to that apparently endless sky. Even for someone like him that domain appeared far and full of mystery.

It was a dark night, its only beam being the peaceful and perlescent light emanated by the sleeping moon. He was once told that a god inhabited the moon, far from all other living beings. It wasn't known the reason why the deity ended up there, observing humankind from the satellite. Some believed they refused to get involved with human affairs and chose to live as a hermit instead; others claimed the god was exiled and was cursed to live on their own, bound to live in loneliness; some believed that god to have died long ago, the moonlight being their only inheritance, the memento of a god who existed no more, the reminder of a otherwise forgotten past.

Poseidon, everytime he would look at the moon, would wonder the real story behind it. None of the moon goddesses he knew could give him a response, despite asking themselves the same question - with whom were they sharing their moon? A god, a ghost or nothing at all?

Not knowing made the God of the Sea restless. He wasn't supposed to be this ignorant - it was his duty and right to know the truth. Yet, all he knew didn't make sense to him at all. He couldn't find a reason why a god would choose to abandon their place a seek shelter on the moon; if a deity was trapped on the moon, he would have surely heard of it somehow. It wouldn't have been just a rumour; lastly, gods weren't meant to die, it wasn't their nature. They didn't have an expire date nor any time limits, so it was impossible to begin with. If there really were someone looking down on him from the moon, Poseidon would discover it.

Poseidon spent that whole night reading books and looking for information regarding the legends surrounding that mysterious and mystical figure. There weren't many references and he couldn't even find the name of that god, yet there were reported some events which most likely involved them. A beautiful deity whose melancholic face was reflected on the moon on certain nights, someone wearing a silvery armor while riding a shining chariot across the sky. Also, a powerful god who could conceal the sun and the earth. A god capable of moving the stars and making humans into constellations. A god who could flex the tides to their own amusement - which meant disturbing the God of the Sea too - the moon phases and the sea had always been strictly connected to one another, but the thought of someone directly interefering had never crossed his mind. An ancient deity whose name had been long forgotten and all traces canceled, no statues nor temples left, their believers long dead and turned to ashes.

Poseidon was intrigued to say the least. He couldn't recall even if tried the last time he had felt so interested in someone - maybe last time was when he recognised Hades as his brother thousands of years before? He didn't remember anymore, and it didn't really matter to him neither.

Rumours spreaded fast across the Heavens. It was a matter of days before everybody knew what the lonesome Poseidon was looking for, yet nobody dared approaching him nor suggesting him the information that could have helped him reach his objective. Yet, everybody was curious as to why he was interested in that legend in the first place. Poseidon was used to those lower deities' gossips, so he didn't pay them much care, they were nothing more than a bother and wasn't expecting them to act some other way. He was more interested in what certain gods had to say.

Zeus, despite his prestige, knew no more than him but reccomended talking with the goddess Nyx, whom he was afraid of, much more ancient than he was. Hades and Hermes agreed with Zeus and added some rumours that had been circulating for ages in the Underworld regarding a moon deity who lead the souls of the dead to Hades' domain. Beelzebub clearly remembered studying moon's phenoma and seeing that legendary face. They didn't ask him the reason why he was looking for the god. He wouldn't have answered anyway. Without a single word, he left, approaching his next destination, the goddess all gods feared: Nyx.

He respected the goddess, recognising her value and strenght, but didn't understand the reason why even the almighty Zeus feared - he could only suppose it must have been because of one of his many affairs that didn't end the way Zeus imagined. Poseidon didn't have anything to do with that though, therefore had no reason to fear her.

Nyx knew it all, the story of the human who ascended to the skies and then flew even higher above. That god's name was (Y/n), the vagabond of the stars, the hermit who found a home in the dim light of the moon. Poseidon was satisfied by the answers he had finally found - and a way to reach the moon itself. He was close to his goal.

He had finally landed on the moon. Poseidon had never been there before. It was the first time he got to see the sea he ruled from that perspective. It was a foreign feeling to him. He could almost understand the reason why humans tried so hard to leave Earth and reach the space - it was undescribable. He couldn't even blame (Y/n) for hiding in that timeless place. Poseidon felt as he could touch the stars if he only wanted to. And he was just about to do it, if only a sudden voice hadn't interrupted him.

"I've heard someone was looking for me. I don't receive many guests, so I suppose you must be that person." it was quite, almost a whisper. It didn't surprise Poseidon. (T/n) mustn't have had someone to talk to in a long time.

"You are Poseidon, aren't you? You often stare at the moon, I noticed it." a voice comparable to the music of the spheres, the musica universalis, the harmony between the celestial bodies.

(Y/n) seemed to have no material consistence, one with the stars and the deep blue sky surround them, floating on the ground, detached from the earthly beings. Poseidon almost felt unworthy of being before someone surrounded by such a, otherwordly aura, belonging to a different dimension. On the other hand, he was attracted by that holy creature.

"You are welcome here, God of the Seas." almost as if they had read his mind, (Y/n) reassured him "We all belong to the moon, all beings are made of the same stardust. There are no differences between us."

For once, Poseidon, enchanted and bewitched, couldn't reply. He was part of that symphony too - he could feel it resonating deep into his bones.

The everlasting sea below him, the everlasting stars above him. Poseidon felt whole for the first time in his equally everlasting life.

#record of ragnarok #shuumatsu no valkyrie #ror #record of ragnarok x reader #snv #ror x reader #snv x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #shuumatsu no walkure #poseidon #poseidon x reader #record of ragnarok poseidon #shuumatsu no valkyrie poseidon #snv poseidon #poseidon record of ragnarok #poseidon ror

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dovveri · 4 months

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could you love me while i hate myself?

synopsis: y/n, nayeon, momo, and sana are in a polyamorous relationship. momo walks in on y/n self-harming for the first time in 7 months. they all try and talk and work through this together.

warnings: we got depression, suicidal ideation, self-harm (cutting), blood, sexual references, cursing - also this is poly!namosa if ur not into that but i love getting comfort from everyone i love so

w/c: 6.9k

a/n: sooo i wrote this in a day bcs im utilising my #depression as inspiration and lwk we love writing as a coping mechanism - i’m so fine tho i just need my meds to start working again LMAO and they will vvvv soon trust - but in the meantime i can pump out the sad stuff hehe! lwk forgot abt boo and dobby until like halfway thru writing this IM SO SORRY #fakefan and i wasn't bothered to write them back in so they js don't exist here oops!

⸸

fuck. fuck fuck fuck. the thoughts were coming. you wake up hazily, dream forgotten, arms wrapped around nayeon, legs entangled with the three people you loved most in the world. you don't deserve them. shut up!

you shut your eyes, trying to will away the thoughts. they were always there, always in the back of your head, always nagging, telling you that you didn't deserve to live, that you were a worthless piece of flesh born only to cause others suffering, or born with no purpose at all. there's no point to it all. just die. they'd be better off without you. they'd be happier without you.

you feel tears prick the corners of your eyes. it was so loud. you needed them to be quiet. to return to the depths of your mind. you curl in closer to nayeon, trying to breathe in the scent of her to distract you, feeling sana's breath on your hand, listening to momo's soft snores, they were the only thing grounding you. they pity you. that's why they've stuck around for so long. they know if they left you you'd break. they don't love you. it's pity. they'd be happier together. just the three of them. they didn't need you. you needed them. you were a burden to them. you need to leave so they can be happy. you want the best for them don't you? SHUT UP.

you couldn't take it anymore, you slowly unwrap yourself from your girlfriends. slipping your arms from around nayeon's waist and pulling your legs away from the mess of limbs. you look back at them, sleeping peacefully, watch their chests rise up and down with each breath, it's bittersweet. you had so much love for them. you turn around again and slip out the door, closing it softly behind you.

you pad softly towards the bathroom, entering it quietly and sighing, looking at yourself in the mirror. dark circles under red eyes, messy hair, disgusting. look at you. how could anyone love you? the thoughts were louder in the bathroom. almost echoing off crisp white walls. your grip on the sink tightens, you tear your gaze away from the mirror, letting your tears fall into the sink silently. why did i have be born like this? born like this? honey you're not different. everyone else is able to cope fine with trauma, with all the shit that happens in the world. you're just weak. weak, crying little bitch who can't deal with a couple sad emotions. don't think you're special. you're not. why can't i feel normal? you're not normal. you never will be. you'll always be that weird kid on the playground that no one wants to play with. grow up and get used to it already. why won't you leave me alone? i can't leave you alone. i am you. you are me. we're stuck together.

your head's splitting, you don't even realise you're crouched in on yourself now. hands gripping your head, nails digging into your scalp, anything to try and stop thinking. you wish you could just go back to sleep. sleep was easy. you didn't have to think when you were asleep.

that's right. sleep. sleep forever. run away from your problems. that's all you'll ever be good at right? running away. you ran away from your parents when they found out you were dating not one, not two, but three girls! whore! you left your brother and sister with them. they probably got the brunt of their anger. or maybe not. maybe they hate you too for being a fucking disappointment. it doesn't matter. they don't care about you. you left them. now leave your girlfriends. it'll be easier. leave. leave. run. do it.

your lip is trapped between your teeth. you're biting down so hard it draws blood. you're rocking yourself on the floor of the bathroom. pathetic. all you do is cry. grow up already. you can't take it. it was too much. you needed- needed-

you're reaching for the loose tile you know is second from the towel rack, opening it and finding your stash of emergency goods. you had meant to throw it away you just kept avoiding it and now... well you needed it now.

you take out a scalpel, go into the old routine of cleaning it down with an alcohol wipe, the motions that are familiar to you helping you drown out the thoughts already. they're still there though. they were always there. you'd be lonely without us wouldn't you? you actually enjoy being mentally ill don't you? take some sort of sick pleasure in it? is it comforting? it's easy to fall back into old habits isn't it?

once it's clean, you can see clearly again. you remove your pants, spreading your legs and look down at the scars that decorate the insides of your thighs. you take a breath, clearing your head as best you can, and bring the tip of the scalpel to start a new line.

the immediate relief when the blade enters your skin and you watch the scarlet liquid pour out of you is incredible. you're like an addict, drinking in the pain and using it to clear your mind. suddenly, the only sound you hear is the quiet of the bathroom and your own shallow breathing. you've never felt more at peace.

but it's only temporary. like everything is only temporary. seriously? this again? is this the best you can do to try and get rid of me? we talked about this you idiot. you're never getting rid of me. because we're the same. you just made yourself even uglier. congrats. good luck getting your girlfriends to ever touch you again after they see those.

fucking hell. you can't help it when your hands move to the start again, just under the new line you've created. you're about to push in again when you hear a gasp.

you look up in alarm, bloody scalpel in your hand, fresh cut on your thigh.

"m-momo."

"y/n- what-"

"it's not what it looks like i swear- fuck- oh my god- mo- please-" you're scrambling, trying to pull up your pants and cover yourself, dropping the scalpel onto the floor with a clang.

she's on you in seconds.

"no no sweetie it's okay i'm not- it's okay it's okay-" she's pulling you into a hug, and you start sobbing.

you're burrowing your head into her neck, sniffling and crying, she wasn't meant to find out. they were never meant to find out. now you've done it. good luck keeping them now. no way they're going to stay with you after this. better breathe her in while you can because she won't be yours in the morning.

you're squeezing her tight, crying and blabbering into her and she lets you. hushing and brushing through your hair, pressing light kisses along your forehead.

when she starts to pull away you panic, shaking your head against her, terrified she's leaving you and this is it.

"no sweetie i'm not going anywhere. i promise. we just gotta clean you up okay?"

she pulls away from you gently, opening the cabinets next to the sink to grab the first aid kit and comes down to sit next to you.

your sobs have ceded but you can't bear to look at her, staring down at the ugly scars on your legs.

"can i?" momo makes a gesture towards your legs and you shrug, moving closer to her so she can work.

she's quiet when she cleans the wound, focused.

you idiot you stupid fucking idiot. she hates you she thinks you're so gross and-

"do the others know?"

you don't trust your voice to speak so you shake your head.

"is this why you never let us touch you?"

you blush bright red, gripping the bottom of your shirt.

"you know we wouldn't have judged right?"

the tears are coming back, you feel them building up in your neck again, clogging it up, choking you.

"i'm sorry if we made you feel like we would have." momo's voice breaks then, and you look up. momo wasn't one to cry. sana tended to be the more emotional one, nayeon and momo cried too, just less often and definitely more private, momo just took a little longer to come to conclusions sometimes.

"y-you didn't." your voice is croaky when you speak up.

she sniffles a little, finishing cleaning and grabbing the bandages.

"a-are you mad?"

she sighs. "not mad. just... confused."

"i-i- i'm sorry. i'm sorry i didn't tell you guys i didn't- i thought you would think- i thought you might leave or think i'm too much or i don't know i-"

she finishes wrapping the bandage around your thighs, looking up at you then, her eyes shiny. "i could never leave you y/n. i love you. all of you. you, nayeon, and sana are my family."

you're crying again now, hands coming up to wipe at your tears. she gently helps you put your pants back on then pulls you into another hug, breathing shakily as she lets herself cry as well.

you cling onto her shirt, the confirmation that she was still here and she still loved you grounded you.

you both sit on the bathroom floor there, tightly wound around each other. you memorise the way her breathing comes in and out, focusing on the little hiccups, every single movement. it was quiet.

she pulls away from you, hands coming up to cup your cheeks, thumbs swiping along them. "do you want to talk about it?"

you shake your head.

"do you want to come back to bed then?"

you think a little, "i might sleep in the guest room tonight. i don't really... it's not that i don't want to sleep with you guys, i just-"

"is it okay if i join you in the guest room then?"

you look surprised, "why?"

"it's okay if you don't want me to. i just want to be with you if that's okay. to make sure you're safe for one, but also just because..." she sniffs, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear gently, "i love you and i want to make sure you sleep well."

the tears well up again. "of course. it's not you i just- i don't want sana and nayeon to find out like this."

momo nods, pressing a gentle kiss onto your nose, "i understand. do you want anything before bed? water? a snack?"

you smile tiredly against her, still in a sort of disbelief she was still here. "i'm okay. let's go to bed."

momo nods again, standing up and pulling you with her, but she stops again suddenly, looking down, "does it hurt?"

you wince, "not really. i mean the point is kinda for it to hurt." your eyes widen when momo frowns, "but it doesn't! not anymore i mean. i kinda got used to it." her frown deepens, "i mean no not like that! like- well yes- but-"

"it's okay y/n. i want to know these things. if you're okay with sharing them." she's sincere when she looks at you, and then she's pulling you along towards the guest room. your heart drops a little when you pass by the master bedroom, thinking of nayeon and sana sleeping peacefully inside, wrapped around each other blissfully unaware, but momo squeezes your hand and you look back towards her, following her into the guest room.

she turns on the lamp light and starts removing all the extra pillows and everything that were only really there for decoration. once she's done, she starts ushering you into bed and you laugh a little at her earnestness, "you don't have to treat me any different momo. i'm still the same person."

she frowns, climbing into bed after you, "i just found out about a massive part of your life that you've been hiding from us. you're not the same person to me. not when i've only known half of you."

you still at that, unable to look her in the eye as she fumbles around with the blanket, covering both of you and then sliding an arm over your side.

"i'm sorry." you whisper once she's turned off the light and snuggled in close to you.

she takes a breath, "you don’t have to be sorry. i'm here now. i'm sorry it took me so long. but i'm here now. and i'm not leaving."

"even if i'm not the same person to you anymore?"

she finds your eyes in the darkness, "y/n i didn't mean it like that. i fell in love with half of you. i just found out there's another half that i can also love now. you're the same person, you just have more to you than we knew. and i want to know more about that so i can be a better girlfriend for you."

"you already are a great girlfriend."

she sighs, a hand trailing down your back, drawing random shapes, you curl in closer to her.

"i wanted to throw it all away. i wanted to tell you all. i just-"

she hums, letting you think out your words, continuing to trace patterns into your back, eyes locked on yours.

"it was hard. and i didn't think i'd need to say anything because i was doing good. i hadn't done it in so long. i don't know why today i just- i lost control again."

"y'know nayeon would say just because you haven't done it in so long doesn't mean you were better. it just means you stopped thinking about it but that didn't get rid of the problem. which is why eventually the problem came back."

you smile at her, poking her cheek, "you've been hanging out too much with nayeon."

momo whines, "we're girlfriends! of course i hang out with her!"

"you're right though. i'm sorry. i stopped cutting when we all started dating. i think i got swept up in all the excitement and the love but once the novelty wore off and i grew more comfortable with being in a relationship with all of you, some of the bad thoughts started to come back."

"what sort of bad thoughts?"

"...like that i'm not good enough for you- or that the three of you would be happier without me, or that i don't want to... that i didn’t deserve to live or that it’d be better if i wasn’t- y’know… alive-"

you can see the shine in momo's eyes and feel your own start to well up again while you talk. she lets you speak though, just lays there, stroking your back softly while listening to you.

when you're finished its quiet save for the occasional sniffle from either of you.

"do you still think that? that you're not good enough for us?"

you hum contemplating whether to be honest or to try not to hurt her, you decide you’ve hurt her enough and it was time to be honest, she was still here after all, she wasn’t going to leave you, "...yeah."

she's pressing her lips gently against yours, barely there, almost as if she's asking permission, and you press against her softly back to say yes. you can taste the salt of her tears in the kiss, its short, reassuring. you break away with a tender smile.

"i can't speak for the others. but i don't think we could work if we weren't the four of us. you know that sana and i tried to date when we were younger right? and it didn't work out? because we always felt like there was something missing. but once we all got together, it feels right to love each other like this. i think it'd be the same if you left. i think it'd feel like something was missing and i wouldn't be able to stay either. i'm not saying that to pressure you into staying like a 'if you leave i leave' kinda thing. i'm just saying that you are needed in this relationship and i don't think we would be happier without you, i don't even think we'd work without you, without any one of us."

god you didn't deserve her. you loved her so much.

"and the other stuff... we don't have to talk about that now but... if you're open to it in the future, i want to help you find some outside help if that's okay? you don't have to answer me now, just think about it, because i want to help, but i don't think we can do this alone."

you nod, lips quivering while she smiles at you, noses touching.

"thank you momo."

"of course sweetie. i love you."

"i love you too. so much."

she pecks you again, then places your hand over her chest, and you can feel the calm thumps of her heart.

she closes her eyes, lips only centimetres apart, you follow her lead, focusing on the feeling of her heartbeat rather than the thoughts, letting that fill your head, and slowly, you drift back into sleep.

⸸

you wake up with a dull sting on the inside of your thighs. you curse internally when you realise that it was because you had self-harmed for the first time in months. but then you feel a familiar hand tracing lines down your back, and the smell of soft peaches and you recall that momo had found you cutting yourself. but the way she's tracing your back means she's still here and she hasn't left and that you're still okay.

momo realises you're awake, moving her hand to your hair and brushing the pieces that have fallen over your face. "hi sweetie."

"mm morning. what time is it?"

she giggles a little, "its 5pm actually. i didn't want to wake you. nayeon and sana should be back home soon."

you startle, "what?! 5pm?! where did they go? did they-"

"shh shh no it's okay. i woke up early and made everyone breakfast. when they came in they asked where you were. i told them you slept in the guest bedroom because you weren't feeling well. they wanted to see you but i told them to let you rest. i don't think you should hide this from them for much longer though y/n."

you sigh, relaxing back into her embrace, "i know. i'll tell them when they get back." you can feel the anxiety beginning to chip away at you as soon as the words leave your mouth. you'd thought about it before in the past, about how they'd react. on the worst end of the spectrum, they'd leave you, thankfully momo hasn't done that yet. and realistically you don't think nayeon and sana will either. but there was always that fear in the back of your head. it was more likely that sana would feel hurt and start crying and nayeon would get angry that you didn't trust them with the information. both of which you didn't really want to deal with because you didn't want to cause any of them any negative emotions. but if you didn't tell them, it would mean forcing momo to keep a secret for you and have her constantly go around on tip-toes while worrying over you. it wouldn't be fair and you’d essentially be self-sabotaging your own relationship.

momo breaks you out of your thoughts when she uses her hand to rap lightly against your forehead, "what's going on in there sweetie?"

you shake her off giggling and she smiles, "nothing i'm just thinking about how to tell them is all."

"do you want me to be there?"

you look up at her, her eyes are sincere and caring, you could stare into them for the rest of your life, "yes please, if that's okay with you."

momo squeezes you against her even tighter, planting a kiss on your forehead and murmuring against it, "of course it's okay with me. i'd love to be there."

you smile against her, reminded of your eternal gratefulness and love you have for her, before your stomach starts to growl and you pull away embarrassed while momo starts to laugh that adorable, contagious laugh of hers.

you whine, climbing out of bed as she toddles along behind you, still laughing when you enter the bathroom.

you pick up your toothbrush and start to brush your teeth when you notice that the bathroom's been cleaned up since last night. there's no more blood on the floor and you look briefly over at momo who's standing on that tile looking at you carefully, the hint of a laugh still on her face.

"youscdonthaftawatchmeyknow."

she giggles when some toothpaste dribbles out of your mouth, tilting her head indicating she didn't catch what you said.

you spit out the toothpaste and repeat yourself, "you don't have to watch me y'know."

"i know."

you squeeze some of your facial wash into your hand, staring at her in the mirror when she doesn't move, still looking at your reflection with a gentle smile.

you shrug, closing your eyes and beginning to wash your face. you go through all the motions of your morning routine, and when you finish up and turn around to wipe your hands on the hand towel, she's still standing there watching you.

you clear your throat, leaving the bathroom and moving towards the kitchen. you hear her footsteps padding along behind you.

she overtakes you once you reach the kitchen, going towards the fridge and pulling out a few things. you sit at the kitchen benchtop and watch her reheat a few dishes that she must have made for breakfast and lunch.

"where did nayeon and sana go?"

"to the shops. we were meant to go check out that new bakery together in the city but i figured may as well let you rest, we can go another day."

"oh crap i'm so sorry i forgot! i would've woken up i'm so sorry-"

"it's okay sweetie don't worry. they were both fine to reschedule, they were more concerned about you than missing out on the bakery."

"why didn't you go out shopping with them?"

"i wanted to stay home with you."

"i was asleep."

momo hums, taking the food out of the microwave, "i didn't mind. here." she sets a bowl of sundubu jjigae in front of you and then goes to scoop out a bowl of rice from the rice cooker as well. you spent a lot of the last 24 hours crying but you can't help the tears that well up in you again at the smell. this was one of the first dishes momo made for the four of you when you moved in together.

"do you want me to feed you?" momo's joking as she slides the bowl of rice over, but when you look up at her and she realises you're crying she quickly panics, "i mean i can! if you want!" she's frantically rummaging for a spoon and scooping out some rice and stew and holding it out to you.

you laugh, wiping at your eyes with your sleeve, adoring the way she tilts her head like a confused puppy in bewilderment, a small pout appearing on her lips.

you lean up and take the spoonful into your mouth, chewing and swallowing before leaning across to peck her on the lips. "i just love you is all you idiot."

momo blushes and you take the chance to grab the spoon from her and start eating the meal yourself.

she pouts and is about to whine when you both hear the door open, the telltale sign of keys jangling and the happy chattering of your other two favourite people in the world.

"momo! we got that ice cream y/n likes but i still don't think it's a good idea for her to eat it if she's sick!" nayeon's yelling from the door, probably taking off her shoes and you can hear a short squeal and something crash followed by laughter and you know sana has probably knocked something down or fallen over.

you raise your eyebrows at momo who shrugs and grins sheepishly, grabbing nayeon and sana's mugs and filling them with water.

when they come into the kitchen all loud and giggles its a sight for sore eyes. nayeon's kissing momo hello and setting the bags of shopping they have down. sana rounds the corner with more bags and that infectious smile. you loved all of them so much.

nayeon spots you first, frowning and walking over to you immediately, placing the back of her hand on your forehead. "hey baby, sorry to hear you weren't feeling well last night. are you feeling better now?"

you blush, nodding your head, your mouth still full of food.

sana's next to bound over to you once she's kissed momo in greeting as well, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and kissing the top of your head, "we missed you today. i got you this top i think would be really cute on you though! and momoring we also got you one of those draw-on shirts but we thought we could turn it into a date or something so we have four!" she's rummaging through her bags, producing items of clothing and talking about each one with her endless energy.

you swallow your food and look up at nayeon who has a fond smile on her face while watching sana, when she notices you looking at her she smiles and leans down to brush her lips against yours.

"wait... you're not sick with anything contagious are you...?"

"what if i was?"

she's squealing, running behind the counter before momo laughs and hands her the mug of water she filled and urging her to drink it. she also passes sana her mug who kisses her again in thanks.

you hum in content, happy to be around the people you loved most. its almost as if... they'll leave you. you don't deserve them. this is all temporary. don't get comfortable. you clench your spoon a little tighter, trying to will away the thoughts as you shove another spoonful into your mouth, focusing on the taste and the love behind the person who made it for you.

"-and i almost fell into the fountain and she just stood there and laughed at me!"

look at them enjoying themselves. you’re the odd one out. the one who’s about to break everyone’s happy mood.

you can make out nayeon's cackle, "in my defense! it was pretty funny! you had all your bags and everything and you threw your phone at that little boy!"

"wait sana you did what?"

you should just leave. leave them. look how happy they are without you. all you bring is sadness and anger. you can’t give them anything they’d want. what could you offer them?

"momoringg!! don't join her in this! he pushed me!"

"yeah because you were trying to steal his girlfriend!"

useless. hopeless. there’s nothing you can do. you can’t get anything right. not your job, not your friends, they’ll realise soon enough you know? that they’re better than you. that they’re too good for you. then it’ll be them leaving you. do it first before they realise that and break your heart.

"i was not!"

"that definitely sounds like you actually."

"y/n! you're on my side right?"

you look up in a daze, confused at what the context of the conversation was. "sorry?"

momo's frowning, trying to meet your eyes but you avoid her, looking at sana who's pouting, "were you listening? are you okay y/n?"

"y-yeah sorry i was just- just thinking about something. can you tell me the story again?"

suddenly sana's all in your space, basically climbing into your lap and cupping your cheeks with her hands, squinting at you. "what were you thinking about?"

you blush immediately, "oh y-y'know, just work."

"work's more important than me?"

"no sana i didn't mean it like that i'm sorry. of course work isn’t more important than you. can you tell me the story again? i'll listen this time i promise."

sana hums, nudging her nose against yours gently, "i'll tell you if you tell me the truth."

"what truth?" you feign indifference.

you can tell nayeon is looking at momo, asking for an explanation with her eyes but momo shrugs, turning away and going towards the sink to do the dishes.

"we've been together for 7 months y/n. and i've known you for much longer than that. i can tell when you're lying honey."

you gulp, clutching the spoon tighter with your hands when you feel someone else, nayeon, unwrap your fingers gently and take the spoon away, interlocking your fingers with hers instead.

you stand up quickly, unable to be interrogated at such close distance anymore. sana looks a little hurt when you do, pouting but letting you go. you look at nayeon who's eyeing you with a concerned curiosity. momo still has her back to all of you with the tap on but you can tell her shoulders are tense.

you rub the back of your neck in nervousness, avoiding all of their gazes. "u-um... i actually kinda... have something i needed to talk to you all about..."

you can feel the anxiety ramping up, the adrenaline and urge to run away pumping through you, your palms beginning to sweat.

momo saves you when she turns off the tap and wipes her hands clean, "let's all go to the living room and have some ice cream and we can talk about it yeah?"

you smile at her gratefully and she returns it, grabbing the ice cream nayeon and sana just brought back and a few spoons and bowls.

nayeon and sana exchange looks of confusion but help momo bring the utensils over and eventually you're all sitting on your couch in the living room with the television on for some background noise so it wasn't too awkward.

you fiddle with your hands, not looking at any of them while the random sitcom you have plays in the background. momo notices and grabs a hand, intertwining your fingers and squeezing gently, reassuring you that she was there.

you take a breath, clearing your throat and looking up at nayeon and sana.

"so i- um- i don't really know how to say this-"

"it's okay baby take your time. it's just us right?"

"yeah we're not going to judge you honey. we're here for you whatever this is okay?"

you take a shaky breath in, mumbling incoherently to yourself before deciding, "u-um it's probably a bit easier to s-show you." you let go of momo's hand and start to undo the tie at your pants.

"um... y/n if all you wanted was sex i think there were other ways to-" momo slaps nayeon who yelps, rubbing her arm where she was hit mumbling a "what?" but momo shushes her and gestures back to you.

you stand up and drop your pants, immediately feeling the cool breeze against your naked legs, shivering a little and fighting the urge to cover yourself. you stare down at your feet when you hear the little gasps. you decide to start talking, refusing to look up, "i'm sorry i made momo lie to you. i wasn't sick last night. i woke up and started thinking some… not so great things and i needed it to stop so i- um- i went to the bathroom where i hid some of my old stuff and i um- well-“ you awkwardly gesture at your thighs before continuing, “momo woke up and found me after the first cut. i would’ve kept going if she didn’t find me. she helped me clean up and bandage it and then i asked to sleep in the guest room because i didn’t want to um- i wasn’t ready to uh- to tell you guys yet- i’m sorry for keeping this from all of you for so long.“

when you’re done, you risk a glance up, and find the three loves of your life, tears running down their faces.

sana’s the first to move, she gets up and practically jumps over to you, but she stops short right before you touch, “c-can i- c-can i hug you?”

you smile at her, feeling your own tears well up at the sight of your three girlfriends crying. “of course darling. i’m still the same. i still love cuddling with you.”

she doesn’t give you a second thought and buries her head into your neck, wrapping her arms around your waist. you realise you’re still standing in the middle of the living room with your pants down which is a little absurd but you wrap your arms around her, sagging into her a little when she squeezes. you can feel her soft crying and the tears wet your neck.

nayeon stands and comes around as well, a little hesitant but you look at her and offer a wet smile and she breaks, enveloping the both of you in her arms as well with a muted sob. momo joins in as well because of course she does, you look at her gratefully as she sniffles, fiddling a little with her fingers before coming around behind you and moulding herself to your back, hands coming around your waist and holding onto sana’s hands, giving them a squeeze for reassurance as well.

you're surrounded with all the love you wanted. so why do you still want to die? you don't listen to that voice, pushing it down and trying to stay in the moment. eventually, someone breaks away, and you awkwardly shuffle your pants back on, glad to be able to cover up your scars.

nayeon speaks up first, a hand still holding yours, squeezing gently, "how long have you been... y'know-"

"since before i met you. the thoughts started getting really bad when i was still in high school. and all the pressure with doing well and all the extra curriculars i was picking up, it just got too much. the only thing that worked was the pain. it got me through high school, and i started to rely on it. but then... the first time i slept with someone... she was appalled. i had almost forgotten the scars were there until my pants were off. she got scared off and i told myself i wouldn't let anyone else see this side of me."

"baby..."

"it's okay. it got better after i met you guys. and when we all started dating i stopped. i felt happy." you smile up at your girlfriends, tears still streaming down your face, "being with all of you made me forget those things. but they came back. and worse this time because- because i have so much more to lose now. i can't- i can't lose you-" you can't control the sobs when you break down again. pathetic.

the girls are surrounding you instantly, whispering reassurances, brushing through your hair, tracing shapes into your skin, you try and focus on your bodily sensations rather than your internalisations, try and focus on them.

"we'd never leave you honey... we're not complete without you, you believe me right?" sana's tilting your face up to meet hers, her eyes are watery, nose red.

"i'm trying to believe you."

she places her forehead against yours and closes her eyes, sighing slightly, "i'm going to tell you that everyday from now. that i love you and that i'm not going anywhere. until you believe me." she smiles and tries for a joke, "you're going to have to deal with clingy me for the rest of your life."

you let out a broken laugh, kissing her sweetly. "i love when you're clingy anyway."

she laughs as well, wiping at her nose.

you peek at nayeon. you know she has more questions, the frown on her face and the little pout she has breaks your heart. you reach a hand out to her, she takes it after some consideration, and you pull her into your lap.

"you can ask anything. there's nothing off limits. i'll try answer everything i can and i promise i'll be honest with everything. that goes for the both of you as well." you look over at sana who's moved to your side to allow for nayeon to sit on your lap, she's got a hand on the eldest's waist, playing with her shirt, her other hand on your shoulder.

momo moves to your other side, lifting nayeon's legs and placing them on her own, tracing her calves and brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear.

nayeon's biting her lip, you focus on the small mole under her left eyebrow.

"w-why didn't you tell us?"

you sigh, "i didn't really think i needed to at first. because i hadn't done it in so long. i thought i was better."

"is it because you thought you couldn't trust us?"

"no baby that's not it."

"why did you keep your old stuff hidden then? when we moved in together? a part of you must have thought you weren't entirely better."

you bring a hand up to caress her cheek, she leans into the touch. "you're right. i'm sorry."

"is it still here?"

you look towards momo for an answer and she nods, "i didn't want to throw everything away. i wanted you to make that decision on your own. i thought that if we forcefully got rid of your things you might just try and hide it from us the next time the feelings come up. it's there but i... i don't really like the idea of leaving you alone y/n..."

nayeon's squeezing one of momo's hands, "pretty baby's so smart. i'm thankful you found her momo."

you nod in agreement, "is that why you kept following me around?"

momo nods shyly, her eyes still wet.

"i'm okay with that. i don't- i don't really trust myself right now either. i think it'd be good if someone was with me. if that wasn't... a burden or anything of course..."

sana jumps in, "honey no. you're not a burden. i hope you don't think that about yourself. i love taking care of you. i'd love being able to be there for you while you get better."

you smile at her gratefully.

"what are some of the bad thoughts you have baby?" nayeon's bringing your attention back to her, you can tell she's struggling to formulate these questions. but you're glad that she's asking them.

"a lot of it is about you guys. because you're all the reason i'm still here today."

"what about us? what can we do sweetie?"

you shake your head, looking down at your hands which are quickly taken ahold of by momo and sana. "i guess it comes down to... wondering if you can still love me while i hate myself." your grip tightens around their hands.

"you hate yourself?" nayeon's voice is shaky now, she's trying her best to hold back her emotions, wanting to find out everything she can do for you.

you nod, tears dropping onto her pants.

"there's this song. i think- i think it might be easier to play that for you guys if that's okay? i'm not really- i don't really know how to talk about this..."

they nod and quickly try and find your phone. momo finds it and hands it over to you. you quickly unlock it and search for the song you're looking for. could you love me while i hate myself - zeph.

you press play, clicking into the lyrics and staring at them to avoid looking at your girlfriend's reactions. it's a short song.

could you love me while i hate myself?

could you love me though i don't deserve it?

could you love me like there's no one else

even though you know i can't return it?

could you love me when the water's rough?

or when i leave you in a desert?

could you love me, though i speak with knives?

knowing all to well that you'll get hurt

if you can't answer 'yes' just go

i'm more trouble than i'm worth

could you love me while i hate myself?

because i don't know how this works

i never learned how this works

when it ends, you awkwardly tap out of your app, putting your phone down.

"thank you for sharing that baby."

you hum.

nayeon takes a shaky breath in, then quietly asks, "is it okay if i sing for you?"

you're surprised, looking up at her, her eyes are red. you nod.

she closes her eyes, humming a note to start, taking a breath in again and steadying her voice.

i'll love you while you hate yourself

i'll love you because you deserve it

i'll love you like i love us together

until you're ready to return it

i'll love you when things get rough

no matter where you leave us

i'll love you even when you're

working out all your thoughts

i'll get hurt if it means

some of your pain comes onto me

i'll love you while you hate yourself

and we'll figure out how it works

together we'll learn to get better

when she finishes and opens her eyes, you're sniffling again, tears streaming out of your eyes.

sana's the first to speak up, bringing her hands up to wipe at the tears on nayeon's cheeks, "our little musical genius. of course you came up with a response exactly on pitch after listening to a song once."

nayeon lets out a broken laugh, leaning into sana's touch.

you meet her eyes, a bright smile gracing your face, and you probably look a little silly, wet cheeks and red nosed with tears still dripping out of you, but nayeon laughs again in relief, coming in and kissing you.

you kiss her back gratefully, trying to convey how much you loved her in your action. you can feel sana's hand on your arm and momo's fingers in your hair. you loved them.

the thoughts are still there. you think they’ll always be there. but you don’t have to take them on on your own anymore. it would take time, but the people you loved were going to help you through it. you needed to put some trust in them as well, trust that they wouldn't leave, trust that they loved you just as you loved them, you wanted to get better, for them and for yourself, you believed you could get better with their help, for now, that was enough.

⸸

an extra a/n bcs its important: hi! i recognise that all experiences are unique so i just wanted to say the descriptions here aren’t meant to be generalised and i didn’t intend to write any stereotypes or misconceptions and i apologise if i have - i try to draw upon my own experiences to be able to write - in saying that i hope that anyone who feels they relate to similar themes etc seeks the help they need from professional sources - my dms are open ofc but i am not a professional and it is best to speak to someone who can help you in real time and in physicality. stay safe love y’all practice some self care today if u get the chance! <3

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deathbxnny · 6 months

Note

Ik i already sent a request to you but.. once you said you’re also accepting JJK requests. I just had to. I hope you dont mind this

Ok so im not into JJK as much as i am into Genshin and HSR and all but im aware of season 1 plot and some of season 2. But can i request Gojo and Geto with an underclassmen who they have a sibling like relationship die and came back as a curse spirit? (While this request have them together, you can make them seperate if you want)

Here the context:

So the reader is a year below Gojo and Geto. After some time since you guys met, the two of them sees the reader as their cute little sibling and in return the reader sees them as their cool big brothers. All was fine until the reader died from a mission. How did the reader die? They dont know. Both of them werent told how the reader died but if there’s one thing they were sure of, the reader wasnt killed by Jujutsu. Because what other explanations do they have when they see you come back as a vengeful spirit? A vengeful spirit they need to take out.

So in the JJK wiki, it is said that “Sorcerers must also be killed with Jujutsu or they can become a vengeful cursed spirit after death” Which makes a very good angsty sceanrio dont you think?

Hope you have a great day/night!

- Flower Anon 🌸

Hey there, Flower anon!! I absolutely love this idea, and thank you very much for the tasty angst. I've been itching to write some jjk angst, haha. Also, regarding your other request for the second part to the Lyney x reader one-shot, just know that I will make it in a separate post to your ask due to formatting issues! But either way, I hope you meanwhile enjoy this!<33

Content: Heavy angst, platonic relationships, Geto is deeply depressed, Gojo is in denial, hurt/no comfort, reader is a year younger than both of them, vague descriptions of readers death, mentions of blood/injuries, vague descriptions of jjk canon violence, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

Inspired by the song "Death" by Melanie Martinez

((Not fully proofread))

Back from the dead.

At first, you appeared in the flickers of lights, in the corners of mirrors, in the shadows casted by trees and their own bodies, in reflections of windows and water, in gruesome, awful dreams.

And then you began being there in larger ways. You'd stand behind them, follow them around, no matter where they went, no matter where they looked, you were right there.

It was easy to ignore you at first, act like you didn't exist, like you were just a part of their traumatised, exhausted imagination. When was the last time they had slept properly? Perhaps the day before your funeral. Your face was plastered everywhere, a smile gracing it like it always did, an excited, pure one for a sorcerer. But there was nothing to be excited about anymore.

Maybe that's why you looked so sad now, as you stood in front of them in this classroom that was reserved for people a year older than you'll ever be.

Suguru wondered if you felt guilty for taking the color of their world away with you when you died.

"You know... denial never suited you, 'toru." You whispered quietly to Satoru, breaking this suffocating silence at last. Your body leaned against the desk a row in front of him. It all felt so casual, as though everything was perfectly fine. You never left. You simply came back a little different.

This was the first thing you've ever said since you've come back, Suguru then solemnly realised in his depressive haze. He nearly didn't hear you and wished he hadn't either. Your voice sounded distorted, like it didn't belong to you at all. But it was still you... wasn't it?

The only visible sign that Satoru meanwhile had even heard you was in a stutter of his hands that in turn messed up his text to Shoko again. He took a deep breath and exhaled shakily. What was he even texting her for again? Maybe for help? For a way out? "I'm seeing things again, Shoko. They're talking now." That's what your colorless eyes could read off his broken phone screen, which made you frown a little. You knew he'd never want to upset you. But he never wanted to face you again. Not like this.

It was so unlike him too, wasn't it? He hadn't been the same for a while now.

It was late in the afternoon by then, the orange hue filtering into the empty classroom through the blinds. An awfully nostalgic feeling that was now filled with tense bitterness. A past filled with laughter and joking now seemingly disappearing into the smoke of the burning incense sticks nearby.

Neither of them had said a single word for the entire duration of your little "hang out" session. Suguru simply leaned his head against his palm, gaze turned to a far away point in the darkening horizon outside, as the sun bid it's last warm goodbye. He took a deep breath, words shaky and filled with a deep exhaustion, not even his dear best friend could ever come close to feeling.

"Let him be... he'll come around eventually." The blackhaired boy muttered back to you, not bothering to look at your bloody, dead form anymore. He had come to terms with it a while ago. Or at least, visibly, he has.

Gojo just took a little longer in accepting your death, is all. Neither of them really knew who was handling the situation worse.

"Who are you talking to, Suguru?" There it was again, the odd denial the white-haired teen had drowned himself in. You never thought that he'd be the one to end up like this. You figured that Suguru would've had it harder, but perhaps this was just one of the many new things you've learned as a spirit. "Stop it, Satoru... you're not helping with any of this. It's just... making things worse." Gojo's teasing smile twitched, his head turning to look at his friend before he seemed to slowly deflate into his seat. You probably could only imagine how red and puffy his eyes were behind the sunglasses he refused to take off nowadays.

But in a way, you must've also understood why he was this way. How couldn't you?

Your death was untimely, unexplainable. No one knew what happened, and your body was never found either. One day, you were absolutely excited about going on a mission with your two favorite seniors, four hours later, you were missing, and a week later, you were declared as dead. The only proof they really had was a piece of your bloody uniform floating in a river nearby where the mission was supposed to take place. Other than that, there was no trace of anything else regarding you.

Suguru wished they would've at least had something to bury you with. Your casket was empty. And Satoru was ashamed to admit that he dared open the lid in a desperate attempt to see if you were in there after all. Just hiding, waiting to jump out and scare him. But seeing nothing made him break.

Everything got worse when you reappeared as this, however. A vengeful spirit that simply followed the both of them everywhere. You were relentless. And yet, neither of them could ever find a single trace of anger on you. Their guilt was heavy enough to make up for it, though.

It didn't help that Satoru refused to talk about it, even when they knew what they had to do. You only ever appeared around them, and both of them had made the unspoken decision to deal with you themselves. They felt like they had caused your death indirectly. The what if's kept piling up higher and higher until it eventually brought them here.

They thought that they were finally ready to move on, but oh, how wrong they were. It was so hard to see you as a simple spirit to exercise when you still looked like yourself most of the time. It just got bad when you looked dead. They couldn't hide behind their excuses and delusions when you looked like this.

Time ticked on and the silence was deafening again. You leaned in close to Satoru, glossy eyes staring into his side profile. "Stop ignoring me. I know what you're here for." You hummed, face devoid of any emotion. But the constant dripping of the blood that poured out of your nose and lips made Gojo close his eyes for a second longer and gulp down the painful lump in his throat. It was childish, absolutely stupid. But maybe... if he acted like you weren't there like always... then you wouldn't be. You were just a hallucination, surely. Neither of them had slept or eaten properly in months. He just had to pray that you'll go away, finally find the peace you were looking for.

But when he opened his eyes and you were still there, he just bit his lip. He couldn't take any of this anymore.

"Tell them to go away, Suguru. Please." "So you're finally done pretending now?" The blackhaired male asked, glancing back at his friend for the first time in hours. The great Satoru Gojo. The strongest of them all. Now reduced to nothing more than a miserable teen at your death. It would've been funny if he wasn't actually losing it right now.

Suguru shook his head at the lack of response before getting out of his chair and standing over the white-haired sorcerer. "Let's go outside." He said, not waiting for the other to agree before pushing past you. Or rather through you. He shoved his hands into his pockets to hide this really was for him. As expected, however, he heard Satoru's footsteps following behind him with ease. Typical.

The walk was silent and rather aimless. Neither of them knew where they were going. But their subconsciousness seemed to know. Suguru's body felt heavy, like he was dragging and fighting himself with every next step he took. He felt uneven and unbalanced. Like he'll fall over and break apart at any moment, and he doubted Satoru would be able to glue him together with shaky hands and teary eyes.

Geto pulled a hand through his black hair, strands unkempt and messy as they fell down hus shoulders. He caught a glance at his face in a mirror, the dark circles, even darker eyes staring back at him near accusingely. The anger and festering hate hidden under a thick layer of sadness.

"They weren't killed by a sorcerer." He suddenly said when they arrived at the schools courtyard. Satoru glanced at him, frowning a little. "Why does it matter now?" He asked, yet his best friend didn't bother answering. Why should he bother when the white-haired male was unwilling to wake up to reality. Instead, he stared at the Sakura trees filling the area, the ones you loved the most. And as expected, you stood right under them.

Your hands were clasped behind your back, smile so gentle and serene, that it made it look like you were simply waiting on them as always. And in a way, you were indeed doing so. Geto was thankful that your consciousness was strong enough for you to realise what was going to happen next. "Can you do it, Satoru?" He whispered, voice so soft, that it made Gojo actually consider it for a moment. But despite always having prided himself in being the strongest, he just stood still. Suguru couldn't help but smile tiredly at him. Perhaps the other boy would be happy about this if his smile didn't seem so bitter and exhausted. Like it took up all of his energy to force the corner of his lips to go up.

"I think they are the one thing I could never exorcize." "I'm glad you're being honest... I can't do it either." The two boys approached the empty bench next to your form before simply sitting down. There was a large gap between them, one reserved for you.

Your smile stretched wider as you took their silent offer of defeat and took a seat as well.

Gojo tensed when you leaned your head against his shoulder, a familiar melody leaving your lips. Suguru leaned his arms on his knees and listened to you, eyes closing with a tired sigh. Perhaps playing pretend was easier. Perhaps you were never meant to leave them in the first place. Maybe one day someone would free them from you, someone who was stronger, someone who wasn't ever going to be them.

You were back from the dead, and they figured it was better than you having left them for good.

If only they could ignore the mangled state of your body too.

Alright, I'm sorry this took so long! I also don't think it's that good, but I hope you like it anyway, Flower Anon! I've been super busy with work and everything else going on in my life, so I'm glad to post anything at this point. Anyhow, thank you again for this great request!<33

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen geto #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk geto #jjk suguru #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jjk x gender neutral reader #jjk gojo #jjk satoru #jjk gojo x reader #jjk fanfic #jjk oneshot

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geminibsworld · 8 months

Text

fingertips- t.b

chap: 2

warnings: smut, cussing, drinking, smoking, & infidelity

⭐️this is hella long SORRY⭐️

priscilla had been avoiding mike all day. she felt guilty. flirting with his best friend? bad. wanting to fuck his best friend? also bad. she had a boyfriend, a perfectly fine boyfriend, priscilla really had no complaints other than sex. sex isn’t even important, she loves mike so she doesn’t mind. they have intimacy, romance, respect, and excellent communication. what can be worse? nothing, that’s why she’s so mad at herself. mike is perfect in her eyes, she loves perfect things. she works hard to view herself as ‘perfect’ and mike is already perfect to her.

but tom? he was a mess. so chaotic, all over the place, careless, reckless, doesn’t care, the list goes on. those things annoy her unbelievably so, she couldn’t stand to be with someone like that. the fact that she was responding back to him that night? made her feel disgusted. she didn’t even reply back to his text. she hated the way he talked to her, treated her, existed around her.

she felt so conflicted that she avoided not only mike, but tom. even in the classes she has with tom, of course, she could feel his eyes on her. they basically burned a hole into her. she hated it, the way it made her body feel. that was different. she felt.. turned on. she wanted him, physically. to the point that she’s touched herself every night soaking her sheets to him. that’s the main reason she felt disgusted, the way he talked to her made her feel dizzy and warm.

the bell rang signaling class was over, she grabbed her bag and sprinted out the door. she was speed walking towards the doors, pushing past some.

“priscilla!” she recognized that voice, she wanted to throw up.

she pushed past the glass doors. cursing to herself as she hears a shout again. she was annoyed, she had been avoiding both tom and mike all day. but now, the avoidance is over.

“priscilla? hello?” tom’s voice is next to her ear, she groans loudly. she can hear tom let out a laugh.

“why are you ignoring me?” he asks, his brows furrowed. she looks at him, scoffing. he raises his brows at her, a small smile now on his lips.

“why do you think?” she snaps, looking around making sure no one was around. tom shakes his head, messing with his hair.

“oh maybe, because i said some things and you actually responded back?” he asks, quietly. priscilla’s cheeks burn, she could feel herself blushing. she cleared her throat, avoiding eye contact with him. he laughs, she internally is screaming.

“i knew it,” he laughs, “she’s embarrassed.”

“oh piss off,” priscilla yells, turning and looking at him.

“i have a boyfriend, and he’s your best friend asshole,” priscilla hisses pointing a finger at his chest, tom looks down at her. for the first time ever he looks annoyed, he’s holding his jaw in this way that makes him look likes he’s got something to say.

“you’re a bad person for going after me. your best friends fucking girlfriend, do you know what that makes you? a terrible, terrible friend. what if i told mike, huh? you’d be done, you’d be over with. do you know how happy that would make me?” she seethed, tom stares at her his eyes never leaving hers. she was so angry at him, of course she was just as guilty and maybe that’s why she was so mad.

“you’re an asshole tom, a genuine asshole.” she said, her voice hard cracking like she was about to cry. tom looks away for a split second before he starts speaking.

“im the asshole, huh? you were responding. edging me on. you never ONCE told me to stop, besides your weak ass reply, something the lines of ‘i have a boyfriend’ or whatever the fuck you said. you are just as guilty as me. you’re an asshole to,” he snaps, her eyes widen at him. anger and anxiety coursing through her making her feel like she was about to cry. he stares at her, before his eyes fall to her lips back to her eyes.

“fuck you, tom.” she says, dryly. she turns around to walk away before tom grabs her wrist pulling her into a kiss.

she gasps, she bumps into him as his hands cup her face. kissing her in a way that makes her knees feel weak, he kissed her with desire and hunger. she felt dizzy, her hands grab his uniform tie pulling him closer as her hands grip his hair tightly. the kiss felt so electric, her body had shock waves all through out her body. she could feel herself melting into his body as his hands roamed her body. his hands gripped her waist, pinching at the skin. she suddenly felt conscious all the sudden, her eyes snapped open and pushed herself away.

tom and priscilla both breathing heavy, chests heaving. she clears her throat, trying to regain her breathing. tom shakes his head laughing a bit.

she looks over at him, she couldn’t help but admire him. his lips a darker pink, his messy brown hair even messier. she thought he looked so attractive, the messy after kiss look was definitely his look.

he looks at her, her cheeks pink, her lips swollen and puffy. her glasses fogged slightly, she smoothed down her shirt. he couldn’t help but want to kiss her more.

“you’re an asshole,” she speaks, softly. tom nods, before walking up to her again.

“you kissed back, and look at you now. you want more,” he says, his brows raised slightly with a amusement in his voice. unfortunately he was right, she was fighting the urge to kiss him. she wanted more, so much more. she imagined what it was like kissing him, and it’s so much more than just a kiss. she knew she was wet, she was turned on. no wonder why girls love kissing him.

“oh, fuck off. you’ve done enough.” she sneered at him, rolling her eyes beginning to walk towards her house. he follows after her, jogging slightly.

“i clearly haven’t, you’re still being a cunt.” he spat, she turned around. she clenched her jaw, and marched up towards him. they were in the middle of her yard now.

“fuck you fuckhead,” she seethed, flaring her nostrils slightly. tom rolled his eyes, a smirk slowly revealing itself.

“nice one, genius,” he scoffed, she takes off her backpack and shoves it in his chest. he grabs her bag, letting out a small ‘ugh’ he sets it down by his feet.

“yeah because you’re so fucking smart?” she snaps, her fists balling up at her sides. he glances at her fist, and steps closer. his scent invading her senses, she took a deep breath her eyes flutter shut before she stares at him again. his face doesn’t look upset, she knows he’s going to try something.

“yeah i am, going after my best friends long term girlfriend? priscilla, you’re so angry. know why? because you need to be taken care of.” he says, his hands reaching for hers. she looks down at his fingers gently grab her wrist, she gulps quietly before looking back at him. he nods, almost like reassuring himself before talking again.

“let me be the one who takes care of you? please? mike doesn’t have to know. we can be bad people together,” he says, softly much more gentle than before. priscilla groans, yanking away from him. her eyes meet his, suddenly she wants to kiss him again.

“please- just go home,” she said, she was tired and done with this. done with him. done with all of it. she leans down to grab her bag, she begins to walk away. as she reaches the porch, she turns around and he’s still there his hands in his coat pockets.

“go. go home tom,” she says, reaching for her keys in her coat pocket. she looks at him, seeing him nod and walking away.

her stomach hurt, she entered the home. she chewed her bottom lip, anxiety making her shake. she threw down her bag in the chair before she jogs up to her room.

she danced on mike, grinding into him as his hands lay on her hips. the music vibrating the room, lights flashing, sweaty bodies everywhere. she felt like she was on cloud 9. she was so drunk at the moment, she just felt so good. she moved her hips back into his crotch, his hands occasionally gripping her tighter than normal.

some 2000’s song played surrounding everyone, priscilla was pretty drunk and she missed mike also. after everything that happened, she needed a break. she never goes to parties so when mike invited her, she agreed. mike was actually surprised that she agreed but he was happy. priscilla thought about the kiss all day long, she couldn’t help it. she still felt like her lips were tingling now, several hours later.

“babe!” mike shouts in her ear, she looks up at him from the side slightly moving her ear closer.

“i’m gonna go get us more drinks okay?” he shouts again, she nods smiling as he walks away in the crowd. she continued to dance, in her own little bubble. she twirled around and shook her hips to the music. she closed her eyes letting out giggles as she bumps into someone.

“fuck! i’m so sorry-“ she starts, sorry written across her face before she looks at tom. his hair was messily flat on his forehead, he was holding a red cup probably filled with liquor, the cup looking so small in his hand. he leans in closer to her.

“oh. it’s you,” she groans, tom lets out a laugh throwing his head back slightly. priscilla begins to walk away before tom reaches for her, grabbing her wrist her mind flickered to when he did this earlier. pulling her close so they could hear each other.

“never seen you so… relaxed? have you been drinking ma’am?” he asks, with a teasing tone. she can’t help but smiles as he begins to smile with her.

“i had a bad day, so yes sir, i have been drinking,” she laughs, winking at him. he raises his brows, and he begins to chuckle at her.

“are you having fun?” he asks, taking a sip of his drink. she grins, nodding.

“so much fun, i guess i should ask if you are?” she says, he shrugs smiling slightly.

“it’s nothing new,” he laughs a bit, shaking his head slightly. her eyes glance to his hand, he had such big hands, never had she wanted a hand as necklace so bad till now.

she then glances back to tom, his eyes were on her. watching her, he seen her look at his hands. she didn’t feel embarrassed this time, in fact, she wanted to see how far she could go with this. mike was going to be back- she began to wonder about mike. where the hell did he go?

“you okay?” tom asks, furrowing his brows. she nods looking around, not seeing mike.

“i’m okay, did you see where mike went? he was supposed to get me a drink well the both of us drinks.” she asks, trying to peak around everyone. not seeing much due to her height obviously, tom begins to open his mouth before looking around.

“i don’t see him,” he says, his face showing worry yet something else lingered. she couldn’t read his face, that bothered her. he was normally expressive facially anyways.

“you saw something?” she asks, yanking him a bit. he shakes her off, grimacing before his face changed to amusement.

“i didn’t see anything- how about we go get drinks together?” he asks, she nods. he places his hand on her lower back walking slightly in front of her. his hand felt warm against the thin fabric, so warm she felt like her skin was burning. she loved the feeling at the moment.

they reach a table by the kitchen. bottles on bottles on the table, every type of liquor that anyone could think of was probably there. plus several other shooters, including soda, juice, and energy drinks.

“what do you want?” he asks, extremely close to her ear. she shivers, looking over the options.

“whiskey and coke?” she asks, biting her bottom lip hiding her smile. he gives a half smile before grabbing the two drinks and mixes them together pouring them in a purple cup then pouring another in another cup.

“here you go, gorgeous,” he smiles, handing her a drink. she rolls her eyes, a playful smile on her lips. she grabs the drink from his hand, their fingers graze slightly and she wanted to burst into flames.

“shut up, big nose,” she laughs, taking a sip. he laughs, looking down shaking his head.

“do you not remember what doja cat said about big noses or are you uncultured?” he asks, bumping his arm into hers. she chokes on her drink, looking at him wide eyed. he laughs, before placing a hand on her back slightly smacking her back. she coughs, and looks at him again. she regained her breathing tom stared at her almost concerned.

“did i knock the wind out of you with that one?” he says, before throwing his head back giggling. she groans, taking a sip again.

“dude, i hate you,” she laughs, quietly. he raises his hands up in defense smiling.

“no you don’t, quite the opposite kind of?” he makes a face of confusion, before laughing slightly. she stares at him, scrunching her nose up.

“here, follow me,” he reaches a hand out to her, she hesitantly grabs his hand. he pulls her into a hallway, opening up the bathroom she slowly entered. he lets go of her hand, closing and locking the door. she watches him taking a drink again, before hoping on the sink counter. she kicked off her heals, got comfy on the sink.

“i do hate you, ya know.” she says suddenly, he looks at her making a face. he waves her off, shaking his head.

“no, no you don’t,” he says, shrugging. she sits up slightly, he stands only a few feet away from her. she could still smell him.

“you don’t, you might not like me but when we kissed earlier. i don’t know, feels like you’re hiding something,” he says, nonchalantly leaning against the counter next to her. she scrunched up her nose shaking her head brushing her hair behind her ears.

“think whatever you want, but remember i have a boyfriend,” she shrugs, “plus, you kissed me,”

“you kissed back pri,” he says, the nickname causing butterflies to appear in her stomach. she’s never been called a nickname like that before.

she smiled softly, grabbing her drink and taking a sip. he looks at her, she meets his gaze.

“i did, but it was a mistake tom,” she says, looking away down at her feet. they swung as thoughts anxiously ran through her mind. she wanted to kiss him again, she couldn’t help it. his lips were soft and plump. his mouth had tasted like mint.

“was it such a mistake?” he asks teasingly, turning to look at her with a boyish grin on his face. she clears her throat, grabbing her drink downing her last swig.

“yes, it was and you know it to,” she says, stern.

“oh come on, really you’re being this way?” he says, his voice dry. she shrugs, before rolling her eyes. she hopped down from the counter, and began to grab her heels from the floor.

“yeah. i am because my boyfriend who just so happens to be downstairs probably looking for me so im going to find him,” she says, slipping on her heels and reaching for the door.

“you won’t find him,” he says suddenly, priscilla looks at him making a face.

“what do you mean?” she asks, raising a brow at him. he sighs, placing his drink down. he looks at her, she crosses her arms giving him a stern look.

“i saw him leave with another girl, when he was getting your drink,” he sighs, she laughs. he almost looks shocked at her laughing.

“you don’t believe me? i saw them, remember you even asked me?” he says, pushing himself off the counter. her heart thumped in her ears, she didn’t want to believe him, but she still felt anxious.

“you’re pathetic,” she says, scoffing. he puts his hands up in a defensive way.

“i’m just saying, some blonde girl walked out with him, and isn’t it funny how we didn’t see him at all?” the last part came out sarcastic. she scoffed rolling her eyes.

“sure, tom, sure. like id ever believe you anyways. mike would never cheat on me. he loves me.” she responds sarcastically grumbling the last two sentences.

“oh, like you love him? remember we kissed. you cheated on him remember and you’re supposed to love him.” he says, crossing his arms a smug look spreading on his face.

“fuck you tom, you’re an asshole.” she spits, scrunching her nose up. she unlocks the door and walks out of the bathroom. the music still louder than ever, and lights flashing, but all she could think about was the fact that what if mike left?

she turns a corner, peeking around trying to look for mike. she doesn’t see him, or anyone she recognizes at all.

she makes her way through the crowd heading for the front door, she grabs her jean jacket and putting it on before opening the door. her hot breath causes a vapor to come out of her mouth. she shivers slightly, reaching for her phone.

her-

hey. where did you go?

she stared at the screen, when the message didn’t deliver she began to worry. she chewed her bottom lip anxiously, picking at the skin on her lip.

she decided to call him, the phone went straight to voicemail. she began to feel more anxious then ever before. what if tom wasn’t lying?

“hey, it’s cold out here.” tom spoke, opening the door and stepping out behind her. she snapped her head to look at him.

“yeah,” she mumbles, she continued to try and send the message over and over.

“is that him?” he asks, peaking over her shoulder. she pursed her lips.

“yep.” she says flatly, she turns off her phone. she felt sober now, sober enough anyways. she was beginning to get upset. her boyfriend left without her? he was her ride?

“do you need a ride home?” tom asks, looking at softly.

“i guess i do need a ride home,”

it was sunday. the night after the party, and she still hasn’t heard from mike. she hoped he wasn’t just going to ghost her, which would be stupid because they had been together for a year, but mike was never the talk it out type.

her phone vibrated next to her, she picked it up quickly and answered it without even knowing who it was.

“mike?” she asks, she heard shuffling on the other line.

“no- it’s tom- wait you still haven’t heard from him?” he asks, confused.

“what? yeah, no haven’t heard anything thing. have you?” she asks, sounding hopeful.

“no, my calls go straight to voicemail, also i’m coming over,” he says, she shuffling again.

“what? no?” she says, grabbing a big t shirt to cover her shorts. she puts her phone on speaker as she slips the shirt over her head. it falls right below her shorts.

“well, i’m here so let me in,” he says, then hanging up. she groans, throwing down her phone and rushing downstairs. she opens the front door, and sees tom in a hoodie and sweatpants.

“why are you here?” she asks, annoyed. he smiles at her.

“well, good morning to you too,” he grins, sliding past her. she slams the door shut, and crosses her arms in front of her chest. he turns and looks at her. taking time to admire how simple, yet angelic she looked. her long dark hair, and hazel eyes. pale as snow skin. make up still smeared around her eyes, but in a way that it didn’t look like raccoon eyes.

his eyes travel down her body and couldn’t help but notice her legs. her thighs were the most exposed he’s ever seen. the shirt barely covered her, he pictured her curves under her shirt. he wondered what she would look like naked, a lot actually.

“stop checking me out, and answer me,” she snaps, he shrugs putting his hand in his pockets.

“i don’t know, just felt like i should come over. we can watch your favorite movie or something. i just felt bad about last night,” he says, looking around before giving her a small smile.

her face softened. she was worried about mike. he never does this. tom was trying to be nice, she rolled her eyes playfully.

“fine,” she mumbles, before walking towards the stairs. she glanced at him, he smiled before following her up the stairs.

his eyes wondered of course, he thought her shirt covered nothing, but so did her shorts. she walked up the stairs, he couldn’t help but watch the shorts ride up as she walked.

they approached her room, before she opened it. he’s never really been in her room before. the walls covered with music and movie posters. fairy lights hug around her room. her dark curtains keeping the sunlight out of her room, then his eyes went to her bed. it was covered in blankets and pillows.

“i like your room,” he says, glancing around. before taking off his shoes and sitting on her bed, making himself at home. she chuckled watching him, before grabbing her remote and turning on netflix.

she turned on the murder documentary she’d been meaning to watch. she brings her remote into bed with her. she climbs in next to tom, they were so close she could feel his body heat and smell his cologne he always wears. she felt immediately drenched in him.

“you watch these?” he asks, pointing a finger at the screen. she smiles and nods.

“they’re my absolute favorite thing to watch on days where i can do nothing, i typically watch them by myself. mike hates murder documentaries, he says they’re creepy.” she laughs, returning her eyes to the screen.

the two sat in silence watching the documentary for about thirty minutes. she was kind of leaning on him, and he didn’t mind. in fact he wanted her closer. he adjusted his position slightly, moving his arm around her yet not touching her. he glanced at her, he admired her bone structure. to him, it looked like she was sculpted from the gods.

her phone vibrated, she reached for it pulling away the cold air touching her skin. she turned on her phone.

mike-

sorry babe. got sick and left last night. hope you got home safe.

she sighs, rereading the text over and over.

“everything alright?” tom speaks up, she turns and looks at him and turns off her phone.

“yeah. mike said he got sick and left last night,” she says, tom scoffs next to her.

priscilla frowns at him. tom lets out a small laugh, and sits up. priscilla now facing him sitting cross cross, stares at him.

“what?” she asks, raising a brow at him. he rolls his eyes, a smile creeping up on his face.

“you believe that shit? also really shitty of him to be like ‘hope you got home safe’ like what?” he scoffs, priscilla rolls her eyes.

“he does get sick from drinking sometimes,” she shrugs, tom shakes his head beginning to stand up.

“you’re so stupid,” he scoffs, priscilla cocks her head at him disgust written all over her face.

“excuse me? i’m stupid? the fuck?” she spits, following after him. he stands up, and she scrambles to stand up getting off the bed.

“yes, you are stupid. he’s clearly lying to you.” he snaps at her, she puts her hands on her hips. a stern look on her face. his nostrils flaring slightly.

“oh like you’re lying to him?” she snaps, tom shakes his head scoffing.

“please. how am i lying if i haven’t even said anything or he knows?” priscilla wanted to punch him so bad at the moment.

“you don’t have to say anything you’re lying to him. you kissed me, remember?” she crosses her arms over her chest.

“and you kissed back.” he states, staring at her sternly. priscilla lets out a deep breath.

“okay. what’s your point? we’re both not innocent.” she says, nonchalantly.

“so, you’re ’technically lying’ as well.” he spits, she scrunches up her nose. she puckers her lips before chewing anxiously on her bottom lip.

“i don’t want to lie to him anymore that i have, tom.” she says, softly. he frowns down at her.

“what do you want then?” he asks, moving down to her height slightly. she looks down at her feet. her thoughts race through her mind. she wants to kiss tom again, but yet thinking mike and what if he was lying to her?

“i want mike,” she says, looking up at him. her hazel eyes meeting his blue ones. he nods slowly putting his hands in his hoodie pocket.

“i want you,” he says, she stares at him. her lips fall open slightly, before she closes her mouth into a tight lipped expression.

“i don’t want you tom. i want mike,” she says, sounding sure of herself. tom takes his hands out his pockets, taking a step towards her.

his cologne invaded her senses, she felt like she was falling under his spell. he stares down at her, she tries to hold eye contact. she can’t, she’s looking at him, past him, around her room, everywhere but him occasionally.

“are you sure?” he asks, softly. his gaze searching her face. she feels nervous. her heart was thumping in her ears. his hand reached for her hip, she tried to fight him off but it was weak. her hands pushed against him, as he pulls her close. her hands keeping a distance between them. he leans down to her height, before whispering into her ear.

“why aren’t you fighting this?” he asks softly, she shivered. he lets out a quiet chuckle. she chews her lip nervously. both of his hands on her hips now, he sits up to his full height.

“look at me,” he says, she looks up at him finally holding eye contact. his eyes bore into hers.

“you make me feel insane,” she says, finally. tom peers at her carefully. his hands on her hips distracting her, she removes his hands from his chest dropping them to her sides.

“in the worst… and best way,” she sighs, he raises a brow at her a smirk creeping onto his lips.

“tell me more, c’mon,” his thumbs rub into her hips. she lets out a deep sigh, and looks down. she purses her lips and grabs his hands on her hips and pulls them away from her. he frowns at her, and she takes a step back.

“i really can’t do this.” she says, meeting his eyes. he nods slowly, trying to understand.

before he can even respond, her bedroom door opens. tom looks towards the door as priscilla spins around, her eyes widening and her cheeks turning pink.

“mike? you’re here? hi?” she says, trying to muster excitement. he grins at her, grabbing her wrists pulling her into a tight hug.

she hears shifting behind her as tom begins to leave, mikes arms brought priscilla comfort yet it still bothered her about tom. what could’ve happened, what she wanted to happen.

#tom blyth #billy the kid #tbosas #ballad of songbirds and snakes #billy the kid 2022 #coriolanus snow #tom blyth smut #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tom blyth x reader #cornelius snow

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4pfsukuna · 8 months

Text

jealous!sukuna story here👇🏾

kings-get-jealous-to

Akward

The last thing Nanami kento expected to see at Gojo’s party (that he basically tricked him into going to) was his ex girl from 4 years ago in a black mini silk dress that if you just bent over a tad bit more—

“You alright man?” Gojo ask slapping his blonde hair friends back snapping him back to the reality where his cup of alcohol had been crushed completely in his hand.

He was sure of Two things in this moment.

His hand was wet and 2? He wasnt letting you get away again.

———

Incubus curse

After the mission Gojo sent you and Namami on to get rid of some incubus curse (which he didnt mention) Nanami is shocked when you dont show up to the school the next day and decides to pay you a visit.

“I want you to bend me over every surface including my balcony until neither of us have any energy left… and then go for one more round”

Part two

What if Nanami is the one who suffers the effects of the incubus curse instead of you?

He felt fine and whatever silly little pink dust the cursed spirit sprayed mustve been just that, that’s until he catches a glimpse of you pinning one of the students to the ground and damn would he work endless amounts of overtime to be under you like that— what was he saying?! Shaking his head he almost completely looses it when he watches the way your ass jiggles in your shorts and wonders how back shots would be.

Its not long before hes back in his office gripping his length in his fist and bottom lip between his teeth to quiet his moans.

“Nanami you shouldve said something”

“Like what? How i want to have you moaning and beging to cum for a fifth time with tears in your eyes? Or that i want to watch your eyes get wide as you swallow my dick taking it to the back of your throat like the good girl i know you are? Or that i want to fill you up with every drop of my seed to put my claim on you and my self control is dwindling because i can smell your arousal and i just want to burry my face in it” he says with pure raw desire as his eyes burn into mine.

——

Professor reward & punishment.

You suck at college math and luckily your neighbor who happens to be a proffessor offers to tutor you after you helped him out a few nights ago.

“Since you can’t seem to pay attention, for every answer you get right ill put in another finger and for every wrong answer you put clothes on reducing the friction.” He holds my jaw making sure im listening.

“And extra credit” i tease before he begins rolling his sleeves up the bulge of his muscles ans loosening his tie yanking aggresively.

A dark smirk reaches his lips that ive never seen before and ive never wanted to be more accurate in… whatever subject we were studying for again.

————

Jealous!Sukuna

You and sukuna had gone back and forth so much its almost like you forgot yuji was his vessel, almost like you forgot he was the king of curses.

But none of that mattered now you (23) and yuji also of age had comitted to getting drunk and letting loose for once.

Sukuna pays it no mind as you aimlessly flirt with some guy at the bar but your eyes are on him. Not the guy, not yuji but Sukuna who had taken over since yuji was to drunk to fight back.

He could easily burn the world to the ground and nothing could stop him except for the look in your eyes when your tounge trails up his abs to his chest tracing his tattoo that the only fire burning hes worried about is the one in your eyes.

“Id pleasure you in ways no woman in your 1000 years of existance could even think about” i smirk before flipping us over so im on top us still connected by our hips moving my hand from his wrist to his neck making him purr.

——

Dad!Sukuna

More of a drabble aka the 3 times his kids call him daddy and the one time you do.

“Get in the cage!”

“Sukuna stop telling them that! Theres no cage”

“He put fucking smiley faces in my book of incantations” he growls showing me the smiley faces with red eyes, fangs and a crooked smile.

“Oooh he drew you is that why youre mad” i tease watching him seathe as the sound of footsteps running upstairs can be heard smoke nearly comes out of his ears and foam from his mouth.

“As shitty as the smiley face may be he drew it because of you, now stop being such a sourpuss! if you be nice ill even call you daddy and let you give me another little you” i peck his lips listening to the growl of disappointment from pulling away too fast.

“I don’t think i told them how much i love them today” He mumbles pulling me into his lap.

#jjk x black!reader #choso x black!reader #jjk smut #nanami x reader #nanami x y/n #nanami x oc #nanami x black reader #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #sukuna x oc #sukuna x y/n #sukuna x black reader

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bethdutten · 2 years

Text

the ending i learned to love

summary: One of these days, he’ll get it right and he’ll see it through, one way or the other.

warnings: suicidal thoughts, self-harm, angst but with a happy ending!

a/n: this had no business being this depressing im sorry

Bucky survived everything, more than anyone should conceivably be forced to survive, but he wasn’t sure if he could survive himself.

He wished he could stop punishing himself. Could feel like it was enough. Sometimes he thinks he should stop calling himself a survivor; because, did he? Did he survive, if he still feels like this?

It was a regular November night when he met you. It also happened to be the night he had decided to finally commit to either living or dying. He couldn’t keep existing in this in-between place-- feeling like a man who should be dead, living anyway without actually wanting to.

He told Steve he was going for a walk, headed out towards Central Park, which was exactly the same and completely different than he remembered. He walked with his hands in his pockets, head down, going over the pros and cons of killing himself like he did every night, when a loud bark pulled him out of his thoughts.

It was the only warning he got before a large mass of fur knocked into him, jumping right up on his chest before he had a chance to dodge out of the way. He swore, right hand stuck in his pocket as he struggled to catch his fall. There was a thin layer of ice on the ground from an early rain that froze in the cold November temperature, and he just barely managed to get his left hand out to brace his fall, completely forgetting he’d forgotten his gloves.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!”

A voice called out from in front of him, a figure in a black coat holding a leash grabbing on to the dog before it could lunge at Bucky again. Bucky grimaced, clenching his fist against the ground, ready to snap at the irresponsible owner of the dog as he looked up and--

You held out your hand, eyes full of worry. “Are you okay? She never does this, I don’t know what got into her.”

Bucky blinked, watching your gaze flicker down to his metal hand when he hesitated. But you didn’t pull your own hand away, and he carefully took it, mindful not to grasp too tightly as he pulled himself up.

Your hand lingered in his for a second too long, sliding up his wrist to squeeze his forearm. “Sure you’re okay?”

He didn’t know what the hell was going on. He can’t remember the last time someone treated him like he was... normal. Before the war, at least. If it wasn’t the obvious aversion to his arm, it was his murderous facial expressions that tended to scare people off. He cleared his throat, shaking his head.”Um. Yeah. Uh-- I’m fine.”

You gave him a tentative smile, hand dropping from his arm. “She always walks right beside me without a leash, I don’t know why she jumped on you. You don’t happen to be carrying any dog treats on you?”

Bucky felt himself softly smiling back. “No, more of a cat person.”

“You seem like it.”

He tucked his hands back in his pockets, shrugging. “Are you saying I seem unnecessarily cruel and independent unless hungry?”

You laughed, and the sound made Bucky’s cheeks warm. It was a sound he instantly wanted to hear more of. “A bit? Is this your way of fishing for a dinner date?”

“Oh, uh, no. No, I just--” Bucky looked down, flustered and cursing himself for how lame he sounded. He used to be good at this-- but that was a different lifetime.

But you just knocked your shoulder against his, putting him at ease, again treating his left arm like it was no different from his flesh and blood arm. You grinned. “I’m kidding. Although, my dog did just maul you to the ground, the least I could do was buy you some food. Or a coffee?”

Bucky looked up, your cute head tilt and slight blush confirming that you were, in fact, asking him out.

Just a minute ago, he was contemplating whether Christmas was a pro or a con to be alive for, and here he had a gorgeous girl holding his metal hand like it was nothing and asking him for coffee. Later, he would tell you how close he was to picking death, and how you literally saved his life. Now, he just gave you a smile, a real smile, one he hadn’t had a reason to use in years, and said,

“I’d love that.”

---

That was two years ago. Now, Bucky lived in Brooklyn with you and your dog and Alpine (who reluctantly shared her home with you both if only to appease the man who fed her). And he still wasn’t quite sure if he was strong enough to survive himself.

Because he had everything, he had you. And he was still sitting on the bathroom floor, blood dripping down his shoulder from where he was clawing at where metal met flesh, and wished he no longer existed. Bucky thought of all the violence he has inflicted in his life, none has been as violent as what he has done to himself. Because it had to be, right? How else could it make up for all he did?

You came home from work, letting the dog out and feeding Alpine, going through your usual routine. Bucky had been on an assignment with Natasha and Steve all week, and he usually called before he came home. You were just about to text him and ask how it was going when you noticed the light coming from under the bathroom door.

“Buck? Are you home? Why didn’t you--” you pushed open the door, freezing as you took in the sight beside you. Bucky looked up at you with fear in his eyes, red-rimmed and wet with tears, his right hand shooting up to cover his shoulder. But the blood had trinkled down his chest and caked in his nails-- you knew immediately what he'd been doing.

“Oh my god,” you whispered, dropping to your knees and grabbing his hand, pulling it away from his shoulder to see the damage. It was bad, but at least he didn’t take a knife to it like that time a year ago. You met his eyes, sighing. “Baby, why didn’t you call me?”

“Don’t, please,” he choked out, watching you lean over to grab the first aid kit under the sink and rifling through it for the bandages and antiseptic.

You ignored him, pouring the liquid over his shoulder to get a better look at the injuries without all the blood. There were a few gouges that were still bleeding, but most of it was surface damage. You pulled off your shirt, shaking your head when Bucky whined as you struggled to pull him up.

“Come on, in the shower.”

“No, just leave me--”

“I’m never leaving you!” you snapped, looking him dead in the eye and steeling yourself for a fight. Sometimes it was like this-- arguing over whether to let him suffer alone or let you help, like you could ever just leave him like this. Like you ever stopped thinking about him, could stop loving him. Like you could live without him.

Bucky gave a huff of defeat, letting you pull him to his feet and undressing him the rest of the way, carefully leading him into the shower before following him in. You ran the water as hot as you both could handle, standing under the spray as it washed the blood down his chest and circled pink around the drain.

You wrapped your arms around him, letting him tuck his face into your neck and cry, and stood there until the water ran cold.

---

Afterwards, once you’d washed his hair, bandaged up his shoulder and set him up in bed with a movie, you cuddled up against his left side, pressing soft kisses to the skin above the bandage.

“I wish I could have met you when I was whole.”

Bucky said it so softly, so broken, you squeezed your eyes shut to hold back the flood of pain that brought tears to your eyes. You wished you could take all his hurt into you.

“Bucky,” you hushed, leaning up to meet his eyes, resting your hand on his face to make sure he was paying attention. “You have always been whole to me. And I love you.”

It wasn’t the first time you’d said it, but he still acted like it was. He stared back at you, frowning as he searched your face for a lie, and found none. “Really?”

You nodded, kissing him softly. “I love you.” You pulled back and smiled against his lips. “I love you.” Kissing him again, you whispered, “I love you—“ yelping when he swiftly rolled you onto your back and hovered above you, laughing. You grinned at the beautiful smile on his face; he was incredible, unbelievable. You didn’t understand how you got so lucky.

“I love you.” Bucky kissed you slowly, metal arm holding himself above you as his other hand trailed down your body, hips grinding down against yours. You moaned, back arching to press as much skin to his as possible.

“Bucky,” you panted, raking your nails down his back, avoiding his shoulder. “Need you.”

“My turn to make you feel better.”

—-

It was his birthday. Every year was a reminder of how he wasn’t supposed to be here. A bonus year, he called it. Usually hoping it would be his last.

This one was different. This year, he started to plan for the future; something he never really did until he met you. You asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday, and he said he wanted something lowkey. Just his closest friends, the ones who were like family, and you.

You said you’d book a table at your favorite rooftop bar in Manhattan, just a casual thing.

Bucky should have known you’d invite half of the city, instead.

He feigned a smile and tried not to flinch when they jumped out in surprise, Steve at least having the sense to look guilty.

“She planned it, man. Didn’t want you to think we didn’t all love you.”

Bucky just rolled his eyes and slung his arm around your shoulder, already resigned to the night being ruined. But he kissed you sweetly and murmured, “Thank you, babe. I love it.”

“Everyone here is so happy they get you in their life,” you whispered back, resting your forehead against his as you sighed. “Especially me. I can’t wait to celebrate a million more of these.”

Bucky laughed, shaking his head. “God, this serum might just make that possible.”

“If only I’d be so lucky,” you grinned, dragging him along to a table near the edge of the rooftop. “Come here, I have someone I want you to meet.”

“Oh?” There was a group of people gathered away from the crowd, a man at the center of it laughing. Bucky froze, yanking you back by the hand. “Wait. Is that… you didn’t.”

You shrugged, biting back a smirk. “I did.”

A cousin’s friend’s friend happened to know the publicist for Keith Richards, who was in the city with the Stones for a show later that week. They were Bucky’s favorite band, and he was convinced Keith must have gotten some version of the serum to survive the 80s.

He snapped out of it, turning to you with a huge smile on his face. “I love you.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Go on, fangirl with your favorite person. Happy birthday, baby.”

Bucky shook his head, cupping your face and kissing you hard. You licked into his mouth, moaning softly before remembering where you were, pulling away and feeling yourself blush.

He grinned, kissing you again quickly. “You’re my favorite person. Best gift ever.” He turned and headed towards the group surrounding the rock star, and you made sure no one bothered them for the rest of the night. And you were only slightly jealous.

You didn’t get back home until after 3AM, Bucky going on and on about his conversation with Keith in the cab. You grinned, sitting down on the bed as you slipped off your jacket and dress, leaving them in a pile on the floor to deal with tomorrow.

“So the night was good?”

Bucky sighed, collapsing down beside you. “No, actually. You kinda ruined my birthday.”

You frowned, leaning over and brushing a piece of hair from his temple. “I know you wanted something small, but I thought inviting Keith Richards would be more special—“

“But it was supposed to be just you, me, and our close friends where we went on our first date, so I could ask you something I’ve been preparing for for months,” he explained nonchalantly, reaching into the pocket of his jeans and pulling out a ring.

You felt your heart drop, staring at the diamond ring in his hand as Bucky slowly slid off the bed and onto one knee, taking your hand. “And now you’re making me do this at 3AM the morning after my birthday, in my stupid bedroom, nothing special at all—“

“James Buchanan Barnes, shut the fuck up,” your whispered, hands shaking as Bucky gave them a squeeze and smiled softly at you, holding up the ring.

“Fine, but one more thing. Will you marry me?”

You felt your vision get blurry, every moment in your relationship replaying in your mind— the first day your met, when he’d been walking in the park deciding whether he should live or die; every night you woke up from his nightmares, holding him until he could breathe again; all the times he tried to hurt himself, all the nights you whispered how much you cared about each other, every time he made you laugh until it hurt and he made love to you like he was worshipping you.

But he was still healing. Every day was a fight against himself. And someday you feared you wouldn’t be there in time. You couldn’t lose him, not as a best friend, not as a boyfriend, not as a husband. “Buck,” you started, voice cracking with emotion. “Promise me. This is for forever, right?”

There was a look in his eye like he knew exactly what you were thinking; and he probably did. He was so good at reading you. It’s why he never doubted your love for him, even if he doubted how much he deserved it every day. But he didn’t take this lightly— truth be told, he’d thought about this from the first month he met you. And he wouldn’t have asked you if he didn’t know it was more than a marriage proposal.

It was him finally deciding once and for all, to live.

“Listen. I love you now. I’m with you now. I’ll do my best, moment to moment, to be here now. That’s all I can promise. That’s all I have.”

You let out a watery laugh, smiling. “That’s all I ever wanted.”

Bucky held out the ring again, a worried smile of his own on his face. “So, will you be my wife?”

And despite giving him the best birthday and the worst proposal, he wouldn’t have changed a single thing when you said yes.

#bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky fic #bucky x you #james bucky barnes #bucky fanfic

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