#like im sorry youre miserable too but telling other miserable people that its just going to get worse isnt gonna help anything

[layuhsblog]

Hi, I'm not sure if ur still open to requests (I'm so sorry if ur not >_<) but could u do some princess treatment with nct dream bcz I've genuinely just thought of them spoiling their gfs🫶🏻

NCT DREAM GIVING THEIR S/O PRINCESS TREATMENT

its not too princessy and more domestic and 'nct dream as boyfriends'

reqs are still open, ask away babies

idk how to write diff stuff for diff members but i tried and i hope you like it. definitely very fluffy tho. and YEP THEY'RE DEF THE SPOILING THEIR GFS TYPE

warnings: very fluffy, suggestive at some places, very crack, a bit imagine based as well, i think i swore once? i dont remember, some members are too short I'm sorry i was having writers block also ITS LONG.

also cus its so long its unedited.

members drabbles under the cut

Mark:

• I feel like if you're dating Mark, your house will never be quiet, whether its with his chaotic unhinged questions, his jokes, him singing or producing songs or just his playlists playing in the background. especially if you're the type to always need some kind of background noise while doing chores- he'll make you like a thousand playlists for every mood, every chore etc.

He'll even make you a personal playlist with secret songs only meant for you to listen, even if the lyrics are highly unhinged like;

"Yoyo my girls cookin, and she's hella goodlookin yoyo" just for you to laugh at his silly antics even when hes away for too long.

• I dont see him as someone who'll get you flowers cus I feel like he will get sad when they die. He'll stay up at night when youre asleep finding origami videos to make you paper flower bouquets. Each date a different type of flower. Even goes out of his way and googles what flower signifies what feeling, literally befriends a flower shop owner.

• He once called them at 4am to ask what flower means "I'm sorry, I messed up. Please don't break up with me." The phone hung up on his face ofc. Your argument was about mint chocolate and pineapples on pizza. You obviously wouldn't break up with him for that. (He hopes)

•You definitely have a specific closet filled w those paper flowers. He has never given you a handmade bouquet of your favourite flowers cus he plans on doing so when he proposes to you, hiding the ring at the bottom of the bouquet. AHH IM SOFT

•Personal Spotify, he'll sing you to sleep whenever you tell him to, whatever you tell him to.

•You once had an argument with him in public and he asked you how he can make you forgive him so you made him sing 'Welcome to Miami' infront on random strangers

•OH I FEEL LIKE. If you're on a picnic. He would take help from his members (the 127 hyungs. Dreamies are hopeless I'm sorry) and make you both a bento. Imagine your surprise when you opened the picnic basket and saw two lunchboxes one was spiderman and the other was hello kitty.

"Mark, this is so cute. But yknow I like spiderman too right?"

"WAIT WHAT DUDE, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME. YOUR FAVOURITE MOVIE? YOUR FAVOURITE SPIDERMAN? OPINION ON NO WAY HOME."

I've said this before and I'll say it again, Mark's the type of boyfriend to snatch a jar from you, tell you he got it and fail miserably. Most of the time when you DO have a problem opening a jar and you go to him..he gulps nervously.

"I, have to go to the bathroom. Be right back."

"Mark- ...you took the jar with you.."

You know where this is going.

"JOHNNY HYUNG, QUICK LOOSEN THIS JAR SO I CAN IMPRESS ____"

"LOOK BABE, I'M SO STRONG."

"Baby, I know you asked Johnny to help. But thankyou! Yes you're very strong."

To sum it up, being with Mark is dorky and comforting and you love that man with all your heart.

Renjun:

•I see Renjun as the type to do princess treatment stuff with you together.

•Like Idk how to explain it- you both spoil eachother. Your nighttime skincare takes you both HOURS because instead of doing like sane people, you do it on EACHOTHER, explaining every step of your routine to the camera (the mirror) in a fake accent.

•If he sees you painting your nails, he gets offended because he's your personal nail tech.

I definitely see him as the type to tell you,

"Gurl, that watermarble is a disaster. Let me do it for you." and he does a better job than you.

"Silly girl, this is why you should always let me do your nails. Don't even bother."

•He's adorable, if its your birthday or you achieved smtn big at a job or at uni he would celebrate it with you. Decorate your room with pink balloons and stuff, get you a tiara and a sash- like a true princess, get you a pretty dress to wear. Click your pics and share it on his close friends story.

You love it. You saved that same tiara for his birthdays and achievements and crowned him your princess. CUTIES

•Allows you to do his makeup while you're sitting on his lap on one condition, you don't click pics.

Once he grows into it though-

"Hey! Blend that foundation properly, my neck and my face are two different shades."

You show your puppy eyes to him he's cracking. Lets you take as many pics as you want, doesn't say shit when you post it. He's soft for you.

•I dont see him as a very verbally expressive partner, he'll show you through his actions, like the one time a family member of yours was very sick and admitted in the hospital while he was on tour.

•You were continuously crying on call and it was late where he was. He knew you had trouble sleeping for a few days as you were staying at the hospital with them. He flew in to surprise you and had a mini date in the hospital cafeteria. He made sure you ate and you both took a walk around the building after dinner as he comforted you and gave you advice on how to deal with everything going on.

He stayed in the room, looking after your family member as you showered and slept soundly after forever. You felt bad as he was jetlagged and tired but he scolded you and forced you to sleep.

You woke up to the sound of the door opening and the nurse greeting your relative the next morning. There was a note propped up on the couch you had slept in,

'Had to fly back baby :( Call me anytime and I'll be there. My girl comes first always, I love you<3'

•Oh your family loves him btw, he had also got a get well soon card and a bouquet for your relative.

You were gonna marry this man, you were sure of it.

•Overall he scolds you when you don't take care of yourself and always puts your needs first before his and trusts you fully to do the same when he needs it, and you will<3

Jeno:

•This is so random, but I really see Jeno as the type of boyfriend who bakes for you?

•its just a you and him thing. When you started dating, you were at his dorm and got hungry and night. So he decided to make you a mugcake? It tasted like rubber but you ate it anyway ans reassured him that it was really good. (It wasn't)

HE WAS DETERMINED TO ACTUALLY LEARN HOW TO BAKE FOR YOU.

•Y'all know that guy on tiktok who bakes for his gf?? THAT'S HIS INSPIRATION RIGHT THERE.

•Experiments each recipe on Jaemin before making you try it. Why do you think Jaemin hates strawberries? Its HIS fault.

•Yknow how...Jeno is so buff and sexy?? His favourite part of going to the gym is sending you post workout bathroom mirror selfies. (YES THAT IS SPOILING. SHUSH)

•He also definitely seems like the type to call you princess. If you hate that nickname? He doesn't care he'll call you anyway cus you ARE his princess. You eventually grow into it.

•Definitely the type to wake up no matter how late it is if you need anything. You're hungry? He's up and running ready to cook, go to the convience store or order food for you. Anything his princess wants. You got your periods? You think he already doesn't have your necessities stacked in the dorm bathroom already? Pads, tampons, everything- even if you're on cups, he'll always keep them ready for emergency purposes and incase the other dreamies have their girls over and they need it. Your bf is a gentleman yes. You love it.

•PASSENGER PRINCESS PRIVILEGE. You'll always be connected to the Bluetooth. You never have to drive ever in your life again. His favourite part of driving is you screaming out the lyrics of ur new favourite songs.

He will never tell you how tired he is of listening to the same song over and over and over again. Even if his ears feel like bleeding from listening to the same song again, he'll hold back his tears and just smile. He loves you but he's not a big fan of your music.

"CUS TONIGHT WILL BE THE NIGHT THAT I WILL FALL FOR YO-"

"For the love of GOD- Y/N IF I HEAR YOU SING THAT EMO ASS SONG ONE MORE TIME I'M ACTUALLY GONNA RIP MY HAIR OFF."

"You're so quiet babe, what's up?"

"Huh, nothing... just focusing on the road.. You keep singing, I love your voice hehe."

•Yknow how much it annoys him, youre testing his patience to see when he'll tell you to stop. He wont tho babe, he's getting tortured, stop please. (I unironically love that song)

Haechan:

•I think he's the most princess to ever princess which is why he's perfect at giving princess treatment.

•Also hes very clingy, wont leave you alone for even a minute.

•One time you were cutting fruit with a new knife you had just bought and cut your finger on it. He was so annoying with it;

"NOOO MY BABY GOT AN OUCHIE! NO DON'T TOUCH IT. I'LL GET A BAND-AID. DON'T MOVE."

"Hyuck, its just a small c-" He pecks your lips to shut you up and runs to his room. He runs back and to your surprise shows you a hello kitty band-aid. You laugh at that to which he pouts and claims that "it hurts less with this specific one"

Doesn't even let you wash the cut yourself. He washes it for you, puts antiseptic and lastly puts the bandaid on your finger.

He proudly admires his work and when you thank him he "kisses your ouchie" to which you cringed out for a solid five minutes.

•He's the type to say, "I GOT IT" to everything you're about to do.

Opening a jar? He's got it. Opening your apartment door after a date? GASP YOU JUST GOT A MANICURE, HE'LL DO IT. Reaching for the shelf to grab a mug? He's got his Johnny hyung to get it for you cus he can't reach it either.

•He absolutely thinks it's his job to make you laugh. You literally cannot laugh at another guy's jokes now. Mark is an exception tho, he'll fite you for Mark. How dare you not laugh at a stupid joke Mark made.

•Speaking of fite, He'll let you win all playfights. This is how you know shit is srs between y'all. Haechan is competitive. But he'll let you win. I know its an unpopular opinion.

•Especially if you don't have much in common with Haechan and start showing interest in gaming and ask him to teach you, he'll go very easy on you. Yknow, set his pride aside, let you win a lot of games before actually becoming competitive with you as well. Still he won't ever admit it even years after being together- if you have a particularly bad day, he would let you and not make it very obvious, even if you call him names and make fun of him for being a loser, he'll just have a lovesick smile on his face and stars in his eyes as you're doing a dorky winner dance for beating him.

The 127 boys are very proud of their maknae, he's surely grown a lot. You're both still incredibly immature but they love you together.

•Oh the only down side is you're always competing with Renjun.

"Blink twice if you love Renjun and Mark more than me"

*blinks twice*

"We're done."

"NO. I LOVE THEM BUT I ALSO LOVE YOU. DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE PLEASE."

•You love him too much to get mad at the fact that he still didnt choose you

Jaemin:

here we go..

my bias wrecker.

•YOU CANNOT DENY He's going to be the best boyfriend ever.

•You want to put ribbons on him? he bought you those himself. the pinkest of pink ribbon for you to tie his hair, biceps, _anything_ with.

•He loves making you flustered.

•Will check up in you every second of the day.

"Did you eat yet? Slept properly? Drink enough water?"

•Nags at you like a mother.

•If you're studying for exam or just working from home in general he'll pop up to check in on you every five minutes with coffee, freshly cut up fruits, chocolates etc.

•If you're too busy to eat, he will pull a chair and sit beside you, stare at you while you work and feed you occassionally.

•When you're tired he'll give you a massage and draw you a pretty bath with rose petals and scented candles and stuff.

•He cannot say no to your puppy eyes. He loves cats but you're the reason he has three.

•Also the type to get jealous of the cats, AND you if you're not giving him attention. He doesnt know whether he wants to be at your place or the cats'.

•HE COOS AT YOU. A LOT. ANYTHING YOU DO. "AIGOOO MY BABY IS SO ADORABLE *insert incoherent wooing noises as he pulls your cheeks* and you're just there like- '🧍😀'

•If you're on a date, you don't even have to ask. He'll already have his camera ready, suggest you cute poses and click pictures for your Instagram. He'd stay up late to edit them himself.

When you're with Na Jaemin you cannot have a blank looking Instagram.

•Overall hes the sweetest and absolutely adorable but he also has a babygirl to take care of. (He himself is a babygirl)

Chenle:

•Oh hes SPOILING and hes SPOILING BADDDD

•Another one to call you princess.

•I saw a reel of him asking his nephew for a kiss before handing him money. THAT'S SO ADORABLE OH MY GOD MY HEART HE'LL DO THAT WITH YOU TOO.

•Even if you're not the type to accept gifts or ask for money he'll MAKE SURE you get used to it because he JUST LOVES SPOILING HIS PRINCESS

•If you're going for a spa or to get your nails done or any type of self care activity and you DONT ask him to pay, he gets mad. he'll sulk, wont talk to you.

"What's the point of being born in a rich family and working hard to earn a living if my girlfriend doesnt want to spend my money?😔"

"CHENLE, I CAN BUY MY OWN GUM FOR GOD'S SAKE. HOW BROKE DO YOU THINK I AM?"

•He loves you so much. Every night when he does his skincare, you're sitting on the bathroom sink and hes doing your skincare as well.

•Another nagger who will ensure you're hydrated and wellfed, keeps track of your period.

"Hello?"

"Open the door, I know you're on your period, I got you heatpacks, pads and chocolates. Let's watch Hamilton and cuddle."

"Lele, marry me."

"Pick your diamond, baby."

AAAAHHH I AM GOING FERAL.

•But, we all know chenle is so much more than just a rich guy, he'll sing you to sleep and stroke your hair whenever you're stressed

•He may be mean and nagging and annoying sometimes but hes such a huge huge softie for you its crazy. Everytime you walk into the room, its all music and wind blowing and time slowing for him. Cliche lover boy and I'm here for it.

•He loves you so much, if you pout at him he'll be on his knees at your service doing anything and everything you tell him to...even aegyo.

"HEY YOU TOLD ME TO DO AEGYO, YOU CANNOT CRINGE OUT NOW. I'M CUTE!!"

Jisung:

•MY BOY PAINTS YOUR NAILS FOR YOU, MESSILY

•He also tries to learn how to cook for you. The first time he cooked, the food tasted like dish soap cus he thought vegetables had to be cleaned with soap.

•Eventually gets better and cooks very comforting meals. They taste like home, you love it. Yknow the type of food that's not too fancy but its warm and make your heart feel full.

•Thats also what loving him would feel like. He wouldn't go OUT and extreme but whatever he does is warm and fills your heart with love for him more everyday.

•Occasional flowers, gets you chocolates/cookies/ice cream everytime you hang out.

•Lot of movie dates, he'll always let you pick the movie. You'll always be the small spoon

•Oh he always pulls your chair at a restaurant. Also has a habit of putting his hand under your shirt and just holding your stomach when cuddling, makes him feel closer to you. Same with hugging, when you hug his hand peeks under your shirt so hes touching your bare back. It's nothing sexual, it's just intimate.

•He would always purposefully leave his hoodies at your place so you dont have to steal them. He's too shy to admit he left them on purpose. Also does it cus if you stole his hoodie, his poor heart wouldn't be able to handle it. It would probably combust into flames.

"You forgot your hoodie at my place."

"Oh shit, well its okay, you can take it. I don't wear it much anyways." and you're just there thinking,

'That's your favourite hoodie man, you'd rot in it if you could.' You don't tease him about it though. Its cute to you that he trusts you with his favourite hoodie.

•He's the type to be jealous of your plushies but then would also go out of his way to buy more for you. He gets sad if you buy new ones.

In his logic, if he buys them for you, he's the father and the kids will be loyal and know their place. But if you buy them, they'll be too greedy to share you with him. Oh please, he talks to trees don't tell me things like these wouldn't cross his mind.

•He loves it when you ask him to pay for dinner cus you usually split the bill. He realised he loves it a BIT TOO MUCH, makes him feel all alpha-protecter, big boy and would start demanding that he pays for dates more often.

Unlike Chenle he's cool with it if you don't like it, he'll turn it down a notch.

•He just wants you to be comfy and he'll always stick to his boundaries while also keeping an eye on you, making sure you're okay, comfortable and happy with him.

-

[richeeduvie]

Baby taking in a pathetic looking wet black cat she came across one day. It doesnt stay w her forever (or maybe it does 😳) but during the time shes nursing it back to good health she lovingly calls the frail looking gremlin Roman. She’s all “I need to go home as soon as work ends today because I have to take care of Roman” and people are like ????what before she explains its the cat she took in. The real Roman overhears this one time and hes all horny bc wait what shes gonna come over and is telling everybody at waystar about it and just gets pissy and flustered when he realizes that shes talking about an incredibly pathetic looking cat

“you named something you want to take care of after me? Loser” and he bullies her about it and on the other its “im right here you can smother the real roman with love too but youre choosing rabies over me kkkk whatever”

Baby's walking along the street and hears these whiny and small meows. She looks down.

"Hello, you."

Snickers could never look as pathetic as this slimy, wet cat looks. And it looks to be a he.

Baby coos, fitting to her insulting nickname given by Roman. She picks up the mewling little thing. It looks so miserable. And it clings onto her the minute she lets it settle.

"You poor little baby. What happened to you?"

"Meow."

"It's alright, we'll get you better."

He's a frail thing. Frail, wet and drying frizzy fur when Baby takes him home.

"You need milk and water...and some heat, huh?"

The kitty does well in the bath, surprisingly. It's cartoonishly pathetic looking. But it takes the love so easily. Needily and greedily. But then, in a hour or so, he becomes entitled to Baby's attention. She's expected to be with him in the apartment all the time before he starting meowing in whines.

It reminds Baby of someone.

"I think it'll be fitting to call you Roman."

So Roman the cat is called. Her favorite thing to do is take care of Roman. Kitty Roman. Black Roman? That doesn't seem right. But human Roman hasn't been to her place in awhile, she's just been over at his - but she's been canceling sleepovers (which are daily) and it's been pissing him off.

"Oh, Mr. Roy? I though-"

"Who are you?"

"She said she had to take...I thought that meant you were sick?"

Roman stares, unblinking.

"Who?"

The poor intern is just stuttered and stuttering. "...Just...I'm sorry."

It's when Roman overhears a few other people with perfect timing.

"So, is it like a sex thing?"

"Taking care of Roman? With them? She's gonna eat his dick?"

"Why was she telling us?"

Roman doesn't breathe. He makes his way out the building quickly. He almost trips on his way out.

Why the fuck is she telling people about how she's gonna come over and they're gonna do things? Why is she describing it as taking care of him? There's no why on why it's so hot, why it makes his cock twitch. She's telling everyone about it, fuck her. He's the son of the CEO and this shit is what burns reputations but...he should go home. Or to her place.

He's antsy. He'd flick whoever would use that word to describe him, but really, Roman's pressing his hand against his crotch and struggling to breathe because she is actually going around and telling people about them.

Roman's at her place a little too quickly.

"My cock is ready, and you are a fucking bitch for telling randos about you suck me to...take care of me. Seriously...are you ovulating? You get great ideas when you do...."

And that's when Roman hears purring. He comes into her sight.

"...What the fuck?"

"Roman, meet Roman."

Cat Roman's in her lap. He's very sassy, or at least human Roman thinks so.

"What the fuck?!"

"I found him the other day, I've been busy with him. He's so needy, it's hard to keep up. But I'm glad he finally got to meet his maker. Come here."

"No! This is who you were talking about?"

"Hold him!"

"Fuck you!"

It's ridiculous, but genuine jealousy and pissyiness from Roman at the sight of the cat cuddled up with Baby. She's named a gremlin after him? What a bitch, why would she do that? Is that how she sees him?

"This is almost beastiality."

"What?"

"I mean...fucking loser. You named that after me? You taking care of it is an obvious...what does that say about you?"

"That you're pathetic. He's so needy, too. It was just the perfect name for him. He's a little bit more of a sweetheart than you-"

"Instead of coming to me, you've been nursing a pointed-ear rat instead?"

Baby clicks her tongue and presses cat Roman's head into Roman's chest. He squirms. "Don't think of him like that. I think you two would like each other."

"He smells like wet ass. Fuck. I'm telling Frank you're spiraling."

Sooner or later, Roman's slumping on the couch - he glares at the way the black kitty has his little corner with toys. This is what she's been doing for the past four days, attention on the pussy that he's sure is rubbing it in his fucking face. That thing is an alien.

"Fuck you."

Cat Roman's purring in his corner as Roman picks at his fingers.

[altrodent]

Not Losing You

Pairing: (Jealous)Steve Harrington x Reader

Genre/Warnings: Fluff, established reader/character lore, slight cursing, gender neutral reader, use of (Y/N) (IM SORRY) Tired 1-2am writing (not proof read)

Summary: After you and Nancy stopped hanging around Steve, a certain blonde takes a liking to you, and Steve can’t take it. 🤭❤️‍🩹

When asked about the Halloween party, mostly everyone would say it was fun, sexy even. Mostly- but to Nancy and Steve it was nothing but a mess, of course a mess that you got dragged into by a drunken brunette. You could tell immediately by Nancy’s fuddled walk and Steve’s miserable expression that something terrible had happened. Nancy slowly dragged you with her, the girls words slurred “Come on… t-this parties just bullshit.” You looked at her confused, the crowd around you loosening as everyone stared. “Nance, what are you talking about? What happened with-“ she turns around and places her well manicured finger up to you face shushing you “Don’t worry about it- let’s just leave…”

She began to head out the door before a California-tanned arm grabs a hold of your waist, “Hey, leaving so soon?” You turn around to see Billy, standing almighty and extremely way too close. “I thought we were having fun, baby” Nancy looks at Billy annoyed and keeps pulling you with her. “Yeah, we were it’s just- she needs a ride home, it’s been a long night.” Nancy hops into the passengers seat, pouting with her arms crossed. “Ah, well, don’t be afraid to come back. You could always come back to my place too to keep the night going” he winks at you through the smoke of his cigarette. You go to respond to his suggestive comment when, you peak over his shoulder and see Harrington staring at you. Usually you like to believe people don’t stare, but his eyes were set, and weren’t going anywhere. Unfortunately, you looked back for too long and Billy took a notice. “Harrington, huh? Look between you and me, babe, that guys a total freak show. Here-“ he takes out a piece of joint wrap and writes his number on it. “Call me whenever you wanna experience a real man, ‘kay?” Now, usually you’d never go for this type of guy, but this is the first number you’d ever gotten from an interested guy… it was like a golden ticket. “‘Kay.” You repeat back, putting the paper into your pocket. “Drive safe, hot stuff” He winks one last time, definitely staring at your ass as you walked away to the car. You couldn’t help but look past him, Steve looks even worse than before. Wonder what happened…

After driving Nancy home and talking her through her drunkard emotions, you drove home ready to end your night. There was a part of you that wanted to know more, that wanted to be more helpful. So instead of going to sleep you picked up the phone. “This is Steve..” he sounded glum, but at least he picked up “I know I know-“ suddenly his tone becomes more joyous “(Y/N)? Wh- why are you calling? What’s up?” Your brows furrow “I talked to Nancy” he sighs, loud enough that you can hear it through the phone “Did she tell you what she told me?” You chuckle anxiously “that everything’s bullshit?” Steve chuckles softly before going quiet “look, I’m not trying to get involved in your business or anything, but… well, they do call alcohol truth serum and while the truth may hurt, at least it’s out… god that is not helpful at all- sorry, I just-“ Steve interrupts “no, I get what you’re trying to say, it’s okay. I’m glad I know how she really feels about me…” the line goes quiet before he clears his throat “so uh, what was Billy saying to you?” The paper in your pocket making its way into your hand “oh, he was just doing what he always does, try to pick up people. Usually he picks up more…” you pause trying to find the word before Steve says“immodest people?” You gasp dramatically “Wow, am I too modest? Can’t believe you Harrington, I work hard to disturb the peace!” You hear him laugh on the other end “There is no peace in this town to begin with” you laugh softly before the line goes dim again

“Hey, (Y/N)?” You hum in response “Do you… do you like Billy?” Your brow furrows slightly “What do you mean?” Steve sighs deeply “I mean what I said, do you like Billy?” You stop to think, only for a moment. “I mean, he’s okay, but I just don’t think I could ever see myself with a guy like him.” Steve scratches the back of his neck, and tries to nonchalantly ask “Well, what kind of guy would you see yourself with?” You feel like you know why he asked, but he’s still in a relationship! Keep your act together! “Well, I mean, probably just someone who wouldn’t want to use me like Billy, but that’s kinda bare minimum, no?” Steve sighs exasperated, “yeah, I get that… hey, uhm, would you wanna hang out tomorrow? Maybe go see a movie or something?” You chuckle “we’ll see how the day goes, now get your beauty sleep Harrington” you chuckle “yeah, yeah… goodnight” you can hear a soft smile forming at his mouth over the phone “goodnight” You hang up, before flopping onto the bed, only praying that nothing bad happens tomorrow.

The next day rolls around, and almost immediately you’re picked out by the sun kissed blonde with the nice ass. “Hey, hottie, you never came back to the party… did I scare you off?” You roll your eyes sarcastically “Yeah, as if you could scare me” he puts his arm around your shoulders, and immediately everyone is looking at the two of you. You’re not extremely popular, nor are you the type Billy has ever gone for, so people are whispering left and right. Billy notices how unnerved you are by all the people, he leans close to your ear “just ignore them sweetheart, they just wish they were in your place.” He kissed you temple before standing back up, and almost immediately your cheeks are a bright shade of rose. He chuckles softly “You really are cute, you know that?”

He brings you to your locker and leans against the ones next to yours, just scanning your every move, and admiring every feature. “I mean, compared to everyone else here, I’m not really all that special…” you gently bite the inside of your cheek as you input the code on the lock of your locker. “See, even that- most of the people here and stuck up snobs with broom handles up their asses. You’re very… pure, very cute. And, if I may add, more attractive than most of the others, even if they don’t see it.” He seemed to be getting closer and closer with every compliment “Oh, you don’t mean that… I bet you say that to every girl you try to get with” your brows furrow as you close your locker door. “I’m past my… date hopping days, baby. You can only do it for so long before you start to feel a bit guilty.” You roll your eyes “I wonder why.” You look past Billy and see Steve waiting alone for first period to start, it’s sad seeing him without Nancy or the goons. “I’ll see you later, Kay?” Billy sighs “alright sweetheart, just don’t forget what I said. Don’t be shy to call me whenever you want” he smirked before kissing your cheek, letting you leave.

You walk away, gently touching the spot he kissed. Even if you didn’t want him to, Steve noticed. “You and Billy are a thing now?” He raised a brow as he stood upright, looking at you with his… sultry, beautiful eyes… “No, he’s just picked me as his victim of the month I guess… why, jealous?” You tease, gently tapping his chest. He scoffs “As if… we’re still on for later though, right?” You nod, smiling warmly “of course… how did things go with Nance, if you don’t mind me asking?” His shoulders fall “We’re uhm… split. She said our relationship was bullshit- she said I was bullshit, so… now we’re broken up.” Your heart breaks, you’ve known them for years, and now they’re broken up. “Oh, you poor thing…” you hug him tightly. Steve would always mock you for being very nurturing, always like a parent, but he really needed the hug. He grasped the material of your top tightly as he hugged you back. “I just don’t know where I went wrong…” he whispered softly. You pull back, seeing even more people begin to crowd. “Hey, uhm… let’s talk outside.” He nods as you lead him to the empty courts near the back of the school.

The bleachers are cold, but it’s better than the dirt, he sits next to you looking glum. You rest your head on his shoulder “How are you feeling beyond the Nancy thing, how is everything else going?” He rubs the back of his neck “Well, uhm… there’s this person I know, they’re super cool and stuff, but I feel overly protective of them… like- as terrible as this sounds- I feel like I’ve loved them even when I was with nance… is that wrong?” You tilt your head up “Well, I mean, most school relationships don’t last as sad as it is, and while you might’ve liked this person while in a relationship I guess it doesn’t make you bad… you didn’t actively cheat or anything. Does the person know you like them? Do you still like them?” You poor oblivious thing. His posture stiffens “Well- I don’t think they do… and yeah… I like them a lot” he groans and paces the seats behind you “god, I like- I love them. And it kills me because they don’t know it, and if I don’t tell them they’re going to fall for this other guy who I personally think is a giant douche bag but-“ you pipe in “who is it?” Steve freezes.

He knows his answer, but he’s scared of the result. “God, (Y/N), I love you. I always have, I always knew. I don’t know how I got this far without telling you yet, it’s so incredibly hard to contain my true self around you. You’re hilarious, you’re cute, you’re supportive… hell you’ve been helping me through this rut with Nancy, and I hate it, because I don’t wanna even think about Nancy, ‘cause the only person I’ve ever had on my mind is you! I’ve only ever wanted you- to be with you, since the day we met. You’re everything to me, and I’m not losing you to that piece of shit Hargrove after I’ve spent all these years this close to you!” He sits down in front of you gently grasping your shoulders physically shaking because of all the emotions he let out. He scans your face for a second, you’re trying to process everything he had just said. Almost for a moment, it feels like you and Steve have mind-linked together, as you both lean in. Though the weather may be cold, the kiss is warm, and his embrace is delicate. Every problem that was stressing him out melted away, every worry in your head had disappeared. For once, everything seemed right with the world, like it was just the two of you, forever. You pull away from the kiss softly, gently running a hand through his voluminous hair“You’re not losing me, Harrington.” You smile warmly as he smiles up at you, “That’s all I ever wanted.”

~

(A/N): Screaming, crying, peeing my pants. Needed to get some Y/N moments out of my system, I hope you enjoyed! 🤭❤️

[trans-androgyne]

I'm so sick of this. Trans men could be fucking like "lets have a discussion about unsavory attitudes or actions within queer communities when it comes to gender" and a bunch of fucking people INCLUDING OTHER TRANS MASCS are like "wooooooow cant believe youre attacking TRANS WOMEN like that this is obviously bigotry. after all theyve been through?? I am going to assume this mild criticism is about trans women (which you never said it was at all even once) and THEN tell you that because transphobia exists any disagreement with a trans woman means you want her to be HARASSED. I can't believe you think harassment is okay. also even though trans women are poor victims (I am speaking on behalf of all trans women) who you arent allowed say anything in opposition to (I think trans women are defenseless and attack people based on the idea that any criticism is trying to ruin their lives) (don't you know its impossible for a trans woman to ever be treated with respect or have a good life ever and in fact they are all doomed to being treated horribly?) (this is me HELPING trans women by the way I'm an ALLY) and trans men are the problem and somehow even though we're all in the same community Poor Trans Women are so oppressed they would be RUINED by disagreements (I am speaking on behalf of every trans woman and I know not a single one wants to have an interesting discussion about oppression or gender) this is me being an ally btw I could never be transmisogynistic by talking like this. also somehow transphobes check what type of trans you are, if youre a trans woman they hate you and if youre a trans man they say "yay you're a man" and treat you wonderfully because if youre a man youre always treated well no matter what other types of oppression you might face I think of this as being progressive.

Sorry for the long rant(?) I have a lot of thoughts. In summary: some people see themselves as such trans woman defenders that they a hundred percent loop around to infantilising them by implying its too hurtful to have a conversation. I've seen this exact type of behaviour as a trans man when it comes to misgendering. someone slips up and instead of being like "oops I mean he" they go some equivalent of "oh my gosh im sooooo sorry i cant believe I did that to you you probably feel miserable have I ruined your day oh my goodness dont cry ill make it up to you I know you have now become an emotional wreck from the horrible thing I did to you im sorry im sorry im sorry I just need to make sure everybody can hear how HURT you are by one misgendering" this is an example of how "being an ally" loops around to calling you fragile and a literal baby. They make it worse even though theyre "on your side" by implying you cant handle anything and they have to "fix it" because you just would collapse immediately at something maybe affecting you.

On the one hand, I understand where a lot of this is coming from. Trans women do get harassment campaigns started against them for small issues. It’s best not to resolve real problems with specific transfems in a public forum. So many have described the feeling of transmisogynistic hypervisibility as a panopticon and that very much applies in these discussions.

But trans women also aren’t made of glass. And they aren’t immune from making mistakes and causing harm. Making posts that contradict some trans women’s understandings of transmasc oppression is not transmisogyny. Pointing out that something they said or did was hurtful or transphobic is not transmisogyny. People act like this is how you treat trans women with respect and it’s very much not. This is not being “normal” about trans women. They are human beings who yes need some extra care and protection but are also capable of talking things out instead of collapsing into dust at the first sign of criticism. I know not all trans women like being treated this way in the slightest. I hope we’ll be able to find ways in the community to still uplift their voices and mitigate harm done to them without putting them on a high pedestal or shielding them from all criticism and intracommunity discussion that does not go their way.

[tigerdrop]

i find it very cool that youve accepted yourself n can write shit that you actually like—the repressed era is over, now all ur characters r obligated to b trans and gay tysm

im finally free. and i keep being annoying about it b/c i have spent literally my entire life being scared to admit it for one reason or another. to the point that my own spouse was too nervous to ask me out years ago b/c i didnt seem like i was into afab ppl at all! if i had never met them i would probably still be deep in the closet to this fucking day

being trans and gay rocks. feeling like youre finally among people who get it rocks. "dyke as a gender" rocks. ive gotten to the point where i can even go outside without a binder sometimes. did you know most people can fully inflate their lungs on a regular basis? and not just as a treat??

did you know im a fucking bottom???? I DIDNT. because bottoming to cis men made me fuckin miserable!!! i knew i was basically "just a girl" to them. i was constantly told that getting facial hair and body hair would make me uglier. ive literally had them tell me to get on my hands and knees so they wouldnt have to see my beard. the only way i could guarantee that men would respect me as a man is if they never knew that i was trans.

which, uh, sucks, but especially when you hate anal and you hate sucking dick. i hate it so goddamn much. i have sucked so many fucking dicks in my life and i have never enjoyed it!!!!! but what else can you do when you like guys oh so much and youre horny and desperate to be taken seriously as a gay guy

and now i get with other people who are Like Me and its literally night and day. people in my life who actually genuinely love the fact that im a butch transsexual with a beard and a pussy. life-changing

sorry i keep writing essays about it but its my blog and i do what i want

[sloshys]

HI I WAS THE FIRST ANON AND YOURE SO FUCKING RIGHT. GOD.

I just think that Daan has this kinda like. Need to be towered over? I think thats why he interacts with the people who are kinda cold/uncaring/powerful most. I mean. He's found himself almost in every aspect of his life in a position where someone was constantly telling him what to do, and I feel like strong characters (like O'saa or karin) kinda fill that niche of "I need someone to boss me around and tell me what to do because I've lived my life at others whims and while I can hold my own for a good bit after a while I'm not sure what to do but asking for help would be too vulnerable so having someone be a higher up towards me gives me a sense of security but i will also kinda be a little shit about it so it doesnt seem so vulnerable" and with O'saa he's super blunt. Very much "I will do things my way wether you like it or not and you will follow my lead or get out my way." and I mean, hell he was a leader! He very much outwardly has control and leadership tendencies, even if inside he doesn't feel like he can ever truly fit the bill. Which is what Daan is looking for yknow? And O'saa, i just kinda think for O'saa its one of those things of he cant for the life of him figure out why he likes him so much, but then Daan starts talking to him about scholarly topics and they have discussions of religion, medicine, science, war, and other things and theres this draw of Daan's Intellegence paired with this strange need of "i want to see him happy, because his whole life hes been miserable and part of it reminds me of me and if i cant be happy then perhaps i can make someone else happy to fill the void" (touching on the whole joking between the two) but being as O'saa has an enlightened soul, i feel like he would be incredibly interested in what Daan has to say. If the two ever got the chance i feel theyd definitely debate between eachother. Imagine that one reaction meme image of the two scholars talking to eachother. Thats them i think. I feel like the two compliment eachother but in a way of like. They fill a niche the other is searching for. Neither are good with words, much less pda, but alone? I feel like if there ever was time alone in a different time in a different place their intimacy would be intense, passionate, and wordless. Nothing would really need to be said, just intimacy, a smoke on the balcony, and dinner in a perfect world. Other people may find their relationship seemingly loveless, but they just couldn't understand the wordless display of trust, of closeness, and of tenderness. How could they? The two have only ever really been truly vulnerable with the other, and I feel if conflict was to arise, they may argue, take a heated break, and then come back with a wordless apology and cook for eachother. Acts of service, cooking, and gift giving i feel would be something that again, if given the chance, the two would indulge in regularly. I feel if O'saa was being particularly sappy he'd maybe get Daan some expensive alcohol he'd been eyeing. As for Daan, I feel he'd get O'saa a nice clothing piece the other had been admiring. But that's in a life they'd never get, I suppose... sorry for rambling in your inbox, I care for them dearly PFT

Anon rn:

BUT FR LIKE IM SOSO GLAD TO RECIEVE THIS RESPONSE BC YOU EXPLAINED SO WELL WHAT I WAS THINKING

I put my thoughts down there i hope i was able to cover everything

Im going to start off in a daan analysis tangent real quick

Daan has been neglected by his cultist parents ever since he was a baby. He probably never got the proper feeling of security or personal growth as a child because he was always living to survive. Which worsened even more after the death of his parents, and was doomed to child labour very young. Im sure he never got to properly play or express himself as a kid until he got closer to Elise. But The only thing about himself he found worth talking about were his insane cultist parents. His life at the Baron’s mansion was everything he had, as were his studies of modern medicine. That's why he feels attracted to powerful and determined people like O'saa and Karin (and Marcoh too, I believe), who seem to know exactly what their own goals are and think they still have control over what is happening. Despite trying to do things on his own, he still craves company. He also wants to protect the younger ones, like Levi and Marina, because his ass is projecting! But the sad thing is that Daan can't be too dependent on these people and doesn't want to share too much of his past with them because it's very traumatic for him.

If the discussion had taken place, I think O’saa would have been very interested in Daan and his upbringing. Daan never followed the religions and cults of Europa and is aware of their danger. He prays to Sylvian not as an act of worship but to help those who are sick. He also ran away from Pocketcat his whole life and never wanted to give himself to him until depression hit him harder than before. This makes Daan rational, smart, and inquisitive. Which seem to be attractive traits for someone who possesses an enlightened soul.

TOTALLY AGREE ALSO ABOUT THESE TWO HAVING BIG BRAINED DISCUSSIONS O'saa proves himself to be a good listener to others feelings in the booth; Daan can be a very open-minded person; and they both have similar views about the use of magic. I agree that the way they show affection is when they’re both very intimate with each other. O’saa does not trust people lightly because, in his case, his greatest fear is manipulation due to the fact that his country is being invaded and controlled by Europa's religions, wars, and cults. So he only ever relied on himself, which is why he chose to be a yellow mage. I imagine it might take a great deal of time and trust for him to share his vulnerability and feelings with Daan. But they seem to both crave social interaction since they're both lonely at heart, so there might be a chance (we’re winning, girlies!). Either way, I agree with sappy O'saa, that's such an adorable concept and somehow fitting since he finds his own jokes funny. I hc that he’s very genuine when he talks about his emotions, and no matter how embarrassing they are, he always says them with a straight face. But Daan is so sappy too. They would write each other love letters; you cannot tell me otherwise.

Also, I thought of an ending for these two surviving the festival: Daan confessing to O’saa that he doesn’t have anything that waits for him and O’saa noticing the true meaning of those words. He feels a tinge of sympathy because Daan has lost everything to war and religion, and he can't bear to see him give up after surviving the gruesome festival. So O’saa proposes to make a deal to be his personal doctor because he plans to travel dangerously, defy the authority in his country to establish his own teachings, and rise to the top. Since Daan doesn’t have anything to lose, he agrees to it. I think that it is during those travels that they will slowly fall for each other. They might also find some closure on their pasts during those trips.

[strawbearyhoney]

Just say you hate ppl with eating disorders and go

if someone were to promote depression ( literally using a pro-depression tag and telling other people how to get more depressed and encouraging others to self harm and be miserable ) and i said ' tumblr should block that tag ' would you say i hated ppl who suffer froam depression . lol

i have ppl close to me who have suffered from eating disorders and i have a complicated relationship with food myself . its one thing for ppl struggling with an ed to have a space to talk about it , to connect with other people going through the same thing , even to vent about it / their challenging thoughts and talk about when they relapse . its another thing entirely to make posts like " fat ppl are ugly disgusting monsters you have to be skinny pale and frail to be worth anything or beautiful " and then plop urself right into an echo chamber of people obessing and nodding along liek yes yes i must be thin i must be thin all i want is to be thin im disgusting

you are going to die . full stop . you are going to die . your organs will fail and your hair will fall out and your teeth will wear down from the acid of you throwing up so often . you are going to die and it wont be pretty . you are going to die if you do not get out . eating disorders kill people , full stop . liek i need you to understand how serious this is . you either recover or youre dead . this isnt me saying " i dont liek that these people are talking about something thats bad " or " ppl struggling with this should have no spaces to talk about what theyre going through " , this is me saying " the pro ana tag is so incredibly dangerous and tumblr should block it liek theyve blocked countless of other way less harmful tags " . this is me saying im begging you to do some reserach to get out of the echo chamber and i know its not that easy and you cant just say ' wow ur right im healed now thanks ' , but you have to want to get better and that starts with cutting out " thinspo " and to stop encouraging eachother to slowly kill yourselves

liek there are a host of other problems too . the fatphobia is an obvious one , but also the colourism , racism , etc . the pro ana / thinspo communities are obsessed with reaching this ideal of a skinny pale waif , so many blog titles and urls are centered around being ~ fragile ~ and ~ pure ~ and they only ever focus on white girls ( or apparently kpop stars now ) . its an incredibly toxic place . " meanspo " is a thing now ?? i couldnt stomach too much of it

but without getting into the ~ discourse ~ or how ~ problematic ~ those communities are . putting that aside . youre going to die . full stop you either recover from an ed or it kills you . and some people with eds are suicidal and that wont deterr them , for some their goal is to wither away into nothingness . ppl with eds are not healthy , mentally or physically , and that is not a moral judgment , it is a fact . people get eds for all sorts of reasons , from trauma ( abuse , bullying , sa , etc ) , from being fat in a fatphobic world , because they latch onto food as something they feel liek they can control-- there's so many reasons , an endless amount of reasons . i am not here to shame anyone for having an eating disorder

that does not change my stance on the fact that the " pro ana / thinspo " tags ( and their copycats . #proana #proed #thinspi #thinspii #thinspø #thinsp0 #ed not sheeran #ed not sherran #ana miaa etc etc ) are dangerous and should be removed . similar to how someone going into tha #depression tag and promoting and encouraging others to kill themselves should be banned

srsly if someone went into tha #depression tag and started posting and commenting on others posts liek " kill yourself , its never going to get better , heres some accessible ways to die , heres some suicide inspo , heres cute suicide note ideas , kill urself just die prove everyone wrong , everyone will be so sorry and regret the way they treated you , just die " , people would mass report them and dogpile them and be angry at them and get them banned . but when pro ana ppl do it suddenly its " let us cope " lol ????? not all coping methods are good or healthy or should be encouraged / promoted . and self mutilation is one thing , but when you are actively harming others it cant be left alone

to quote Blythe Baird from her spoken word When The Fat Girl Gets Skinny : if you are not recovering , you are dying

[mariajmajesty]

JK and Jimin are inevitably going to interact again. We will most definitely get evidence at some point in the future that they were as close as ever even during these times when people are swearing up and down that they “don’t hang out that much anymore”

It always happens this way and I don’t know why people keep playing themselves like this when they know that every time people get so adamant that jikook is “distant”, something happens that proves otherwise. Its been happening like this for years and people still won’t learn to stop speaking on jikook when they don’t know shit. And then when it comes out that jk and jm were hanging out and are just as close as they always were, they get mad and pile hate on jimin for god knows what reason, it is a vicious fucking cycle at this point.

I literally don’t even know what they are basing their conclusions on right now, I don’t know why people always reserve this kind of negative energy for jikook. When was the last time we saw jimin and yoongi or jimin and tae hang out outside of work? Yet you never hear anyone jumping to the conclusion that either of these pairings are not close anymore or dont hang out at all. And it’s not even just tkkers now, it’s popular blogs claiming to not be concerned about shipping yet boldly declaring that they are sure jikook don’t hang out anymore. Give me a fucking break.

Why does jikook bother people in this fandom so much? Why do people seem to be so smug and self satisfied when it appears that they are not hanging out as much? It is becoming more and more obvious each and every day how differently jikook is treated by ARMY and fans need to take a good hard look at themselves and figure out why the thought of these two members in particular being close seems to rub them the wrong way. Because I have a lot of reasons why and all of them start with homo and end in phobia.

Sorry for ranting and cussing in your inbox I am just so tired of the way jikook and jikookers are looked upon in this fandom and the amount of reaching and jumping to conclusions that started after jimin’s live kicked my annoyance into high gear. I had to unfollow a jm centered blog I really liked before because they started going off about how they’re sure jikook aren’t close as they were anymore and haven’t hung out in awhile. It is just so disheartening especially when Im over here trying to enjoy jimin month in peace

Jimin telling fans to watch Tae's show after watching it himself, JK telling Jimin to come over for chicken and beer at night, Tae laughing and liking Jimin's post talking about his birthday, Jungkook telling his coach that Jimin will come over when he can, Jimin saying to Tommy that he misses him, JK spending time with Tae's group, JK's coach telling Jimin to come over..Do these people really seem like they are caught in some weird 3 way pit fight stressed and miserable?!

You asked what haters basing their conclusion on? Nothing because they don't know anything and it's the same thing they say all the time only with a different fake narrative. Last year it was "Jikook don't interact on social media like all of them do so it means they aren't close"...until they did and showed them all wrong. The year before that it was "Jikook hang out too much so it means they are fan service and being payed" ...untill they both started to shy away from it while still giving us enough content to see that they are doing damn great and proved them wrong. This time it will be "Jikook only interact on vlives and social media but not in private haha it means they are not close and always were fan service". See how that works? See how the argument is changing according to what suits weirdos at the moment?

No matter what jikook does, public or private, on social media or not, whether they’re a couple or not, their relationship and closeness would always be considered as fan service or be viewd as non authentic or on the verge of a fall out

Some people want them to hate each other so bad and project things they saw in one dynamic to another dynamic just because they think if they say it out loud (and they are loud) it will happen in real life but life doesn't work that way and they are all friends who were always friends and always hung out together when we don't even know about, and about to enlist very soon. And yes, they have their own schedules and responsibilities to juggle with now and people who ignore that need to grow up. If Jimin wants to see Hobi a lot maybe because he's enlisting and Jimin is a sweetheart like that, he can because nobody knows what he does the rest of the time, not to mention they are already at the company at similar times. Nobody knows where JK is right at this moment or what Tae did yesterday. The arguments that starts with 'X are never together' about any relationships in the group are straight up troll tallk because non of us are living in their pockets and these people aren't worth talking to because they forget how daily life looks like and ommitting other parts that happen on purpose. If Tae doesn't mention Jin as much as he used to it means they were fake? If Suga doesn't talk about JK it means they aren't friends? Of course not that's why you don't see anons go around in circles fearing a fall out. If Tae and JK can hang out nowdays even after them talking about having an awkward phase at one point it has to mean that they are in love and will forever be best friends who are the closest of all.

But jikook . .... jikook being cute on February doing late night invites for chicken and boxing practice must mean that on March they fell out and didn't saw each other for months or refuse to hang out in public..sure..make sense lol

Enjoy your Jimin month in peace because these people are not going to go away. They have no sense of shame when they are slapped with reality and won't have any when jikook will interact again. Non of us have a way to determine who is closer to who unless it comes from the guys own mouths, they'll just do what they always do and fold only to come back with a changed narrative or twist their words into something they never said with wrong translations and no critical thinking skills like they did yesterday with Jimin not wanting to share when he saw Jungkook. These people live in constant feeling of dread. Take breaks to avoid the nastiness, come back when you'll feel like it, keep streaming and focus on the good that is all Jimin ❤

[stars-and-loops]

We're taking a break from the lovely reunion in Clockbank to check in with Ochette, Alfyn and H'aanit!

Alfyn: I'm glad we're done tending to the sick and wounded

Ochette: mm

Alfyn: are you alright? You're very quiet

Ochette: there's monsters outside town. If they hear us, they'll abduct more of our people

Alfyn: oh, I- uh, I'm sorry, I'll be quieter

Ochette: there's a bunker we can stay in, we can speak louder there

Alfyn: where is it?

Ochette: follow me

(Ochette led Alfyn to a great tree near the center of town. Between its roots was a hatch to a room below ground. The main room looked like a market but Ochette led Alfyn to one with a sign above the door. "Ochette", it read)

Ochette: this is my room

Alfyn: it's cozy in here

Ochette: close the door

Alfyn: so, how long has this all been going on?

Ochette: a while. Some weird people wanted to see a cave further in land. The rifted rock, I think it was called. They disturbed the cave and it's all been miserable since

Alfyn: is this cave in any way magical?

Ochette: yeah, some curse there turned all my people into half monsters. We used to be humans too. We're still just as smart as you all, but a lot of humans think the opposite. It took an apocalypse for Cohazeh to stop treating us like animals

Alfyn: I'm sorry. You're so sweet and helpful, I don't understand how anyone could think ill of you

Ochette: ...Thanks, Alfie

(she lies on a mat, resting her head on Alfyn's lap. She's quiet, but he can just faintly hear her cry. He tries to comfort her. Hours pass. Someone knocks on the door)

Ochette: come in!

Cohazeh: Alfyn, there you are

Alfyn: what is it?

Cohazeh: your friend was hunting but her leopard returned alone. There was a note tied around her neck, but none of us can read it

Alfyn: what!? Let me see!

(Cohazeh hands him the note. It is written in the common tongue of Osterra. H'aanit had very neat handwriting but near the bottom of the page, it had become so shaky that it was almost impossible to read.

The contents of the letter are as follows:

Dear Alfyn, I'm sorry

Some monster bit me and I don't know what's wrong with me but I only want to hurt people. I keep thinking of killing Linde and running to town only to kill all of you. It's been hours but this bloodlust will not subside. A beastling I briefly managed to talk to spoke of a legend, that an "arcanist" (whatever that is) lives in the ocean to the east and can save me before I am too far gone. I wish I could stay, but I see no other solutions. I'm taking a boat there by myself.

Alfyn, it has been a pleasure traveling Osterra with you. My most treasured memories are of late nights spent with you and the others talking about the wonders we had seen that day. Even as I write this, even as I can feel my grasp on reality become weaker and weaker, I hold those memories close. These past few weeks, my love for you all has been the only thing keeping me going. If I lose that, I would not know who I am. I love you so much, Alfyn. Live, find the others and tell them that you love them, tell them that I do too and that I think only of them. Kill Galdera. Please take care of Linde.

Sincerely, H'aanit Krause

PS, even now, I keep thinking of all those bad jokes you, Tressa and Olberic loved. Everything aches and I am scared of myself but those lovely memories make me want to live)

(As Alfyn read the letter, tears welled up in his eyes. By the final sentence, he broke into a wailing mess and collapsed on the floor. Ochette hugged him tight, comforting him as he had done for her mere minutes earlier. Linde found her way into the bunker and sat by his side, licking his hand and refusing to leave while he mourned his yet living friend)

WHAT THE FUCK. IM GONNA FUCKING CHEW ON DRYWALL. HAHSHDSJAHHAHSHS AAAAAA

[xanfeursel]

heard you were bored so here are some questions :) (i realized halfway through that these are all durgetash because those little shits have taken over my mind) do you like leaning into the angst of durgetash or do you prefer the more lighthearted (aside from the atrocities) dynamic? if larian dropped a gortash romance, is there any icks that would absolutely ruin it for you?

or conversely, what would be the best thing they could add in a hypothetical gortash route?

what were your biggest inspirations for lophi and vyper? do you prefer one over the other or are they equal in your eyes?

(hopefully you won't have to answer these since you'll get out of work soon)

HELLO ANON. im sorry to tell you infact waited till i actually got home to answer these because i have!!! THOUGHTS and OPINIONS about the questions asked . thank you very much btw these are all really good questions ill have fun answering

FIRSTLY, it all depends on the kind of durge gortash is being paired w imo. with vyper i tend to lean more into These Two Are Fucking Insane while w/ lophi i lean more into the sort of melancholic 'angsty' side of durgetash that i think can be real yummy too. and it's all because of who vyper and lophi are as characters pre-tadpole, too. vyper liked being a loud insane freakus while lophi was a lot more reserved and kind of a miserable mess, and that informs their relationships w/ the characters around them. i think both are good and fun to explore and i definitely like exploring the more angsty side w vyper x gortash and vice versa w lophi x gortash, so. i guess both. really. LOL .

secondly, going to answer both of the gort romance related questions in one, but i think i'm probably in the unpopular opinion that gortash doesn't really neeeeeeeed a romance and i could go without it in game. i do think he deserves more content and screentime, but that's something i can say about orin also, and frankly a Lot of parts of act 3. me and act 3 have a toxic on/off again relationship. alright.

that being *said*, if i was mr larian and i was to implement a gortash romance, i'd have it be something exclusive to a durge/evil run. or at the very least, have it have consequences with your party (i.e karlach leaving or something. love gort but i do not think you should go off romancing him scott free).

i Do think having it be exclusive to a more evil-aligned run would help add more actual content to doing an evil run (and god knows we need some with how bg3 seems to like punishing people who just want to do the evil options They Gave You) and would make the most sense, but all in all i'd just hope it's handled better than the mizora sex scene cause god how that whole thing is handled still pisses me off. hopefully this all makes sense

tl;dr, its a fun idea but i can very easily go without it especially knowing how the game treated its one other antagonist romance option

now for the lophi and vyper question... i do obviously have my biases towards vyper /looks at my blog theme/, but i genuienlly cannot pick favourites with them besides that... i use them both to explore different aspects of the durge origin in different ways bc despite what some other people say i Do think you can be very flexible w durge as a concept despite the pre-established lore for them ^_^ and i think it's very fun to play around with.

as for specific inspirations, lophi takes a lot of insp from vintage pierrot art + has accidentally gotten a very 1920s makeup vibe in My Mind. i should also note her name comes from the scientific name for anglerfish, cuz thats what i had in mind when giving her those freaky sharp ass teeth i always draw her with

and while of course, both of my durges are trans, lophi specifically was birthed from my want to make a dark urge that leans in as heavily as she possibly could in the whole trans allegory thing. so theres that as well!

vyper's specific inspos are harder for me to pinpoint cause he's much more of a 'made up as i went' character than lophi, given he was my First dark urge and i didnt really fully know what i was going into all this yet while making him (and also i was maybe a little bit high while doing so...lol) THAT SAID THOUGH, i did initially make him with akira fudo from devilman in mind. he has the horn style he does because it reminded me of devilman ... although the akira insp is very lose and barely effects his character now.. ~_~ despite bg3 being my main fixation atm devilman is still a very very important piece of media to me so vyper being loosely akira-pilled is not too surprising if you know me well enough lololol

[elio-monroe]

im so incredibly depressed. this post is bad and contains a lot of content warnings that i can't even get myself to type out. i have a hard time seeing any of the stuff ive gone through as real or actually mattering. through most of my life if i tried to use the proper words or phrases i was told i was lying and those things dont count.

so im sorry i cant make content warnings for the read more. just take this as a big general one i guess. im not writing this for an audience im writing this for me.

this is also like a novel. so maybe don't read it because you could be doing anything better with your life. i am not exaggerating. this is so long.

i always feel like a huge bother. like im making peoples lives miserable by being around them if i am not doing everything they want to do. lately i haven't been able to make many decisions by myself, i freeze up and i just cant do it. i have to wait to be told and its frustrating, i hate it. i feel so stupid but i also feel so deeply that anything i think to do will be wrong, that ill be stepping on someone's toes.

i know my friends think i should stop making myself smaller and smaller, they encourage me to take up space. which is nice, i think, but i feel nothing but disgust for everything ive ever chosen to do.

i wish i actually didn't know why im like this. but like... i grew up every summer going to east side michigan, my grandma's house. where my cousins were, my mom's side of the family. my cousin's demanded i spend my time equally amongst them. every night i would swap what house i slept over at, if they got into a fight and didn't want to spend days playing with each other id have to make sure i evenly split my time between them and acted like i was equally on both of their sides.

if they got mad at me, even if one got mad at me, they both would ahhh you know theyd do stuff that wasnt great. a... small and lesser example would be the time they chased me and get me into a corner to terrorize me with a mechanical toy hopper (bugs life). i was very scared of that character when i was young because he was the bad guy and i was like 5 or 6. theyd do a lot of stuff like that, that would elevate as we got older. sometimes even doing more... physical stuff. i tried to tell on them when i was younger, get any adult to help me but none would really believe me. i had a reputation for being a cry baby so to them i was making stuff up. my mom would be too drunk to care at the time (she is better mother now), and my dad wasn't present in my early life (navy).

eventually i stopped being a snitch, it only ever made things worse. i guess that was a good lesson to learn early on... maybe... idk. anyways, anything theyd do to me id just keep it bottled up. i still do. and its extended past my cousins.

in late elementary my friend, who was a few years older then me and in middle school and knew a lot more about sexual education ah, well i dont think she ever meant anything bad by it im still like friends with her though we don't talk really. but i think she is a good person who just, i mean i didn't know what was happening other then being confused because i hadnt had any sexual education.... haha aaah ive just been so stupid and behind my entire life...

when we had sleep overs at her place she would usually have me sleep on a single pillow because i was pretty small when i was younger and she thought it was cute and i wanted to please her so bad. i didnt have a cell phone but she did (these were flip phone times) and she use to take a lot of photos of me... kinda non-consensually, not like sexual ones or anything so i just let it happen because there wasnt any real harm other then my mild discomfort.

eventually she moved away. and then i moved away. we kept in contact though. like i said im still her friend.

middle school was catholic and rough. i was the poorest kid going to a private school. i had hit puberty right before entering 7th grade (my first year of middle school) and my boobs had already grown to be nearly double d. catholic school uniforms are not very friendly to more curvy body types. most of the girls called me fat, i really only had one friend (and one kinda weird stalker-like girl) who had much bigger breasts then me and was a little chubby. i tried my best to not be offended at the fat comments because my friend would get them a lot more and i thought that was fucked up. i never liked when fat people where the punchline to jokes, i didn't know the word fatphobia but i was against all the shit they went through.

anyways i joined the co-ed soccer team and all girl basketball team. i had three years of soccer (on an all girls soccer team, aka real soccer) and i was a fucking killer mid-fielder. my thighs were giant and powerful, i could run for and sprint for hours without slowing down. i was a jock and i didn't even know it. i outclassed pretty much everyone on that team and i was benched pretty often because of this. the coach hated me, like literally told me how i shouldn't be as good at soccer as i am because i was making the boys feel bad. he told me it wasnt my place as a girl to do that. he'd make me run lap after lap after everyone else was allowed to stop i had to keep going.

a bit of a back up here. but i am physically disabled... i don't usually like to say that because its... minor i guess and there are so many people who have it worse. so please don't think ill of me if you are reading this, i know it doesn't count but im just getting it out there i guess. anyways my ankles (and do some extent my wrist as well) are very weak. my ankles actually hurt every single day because i am a very active person and must be on my feet a lot for my job too. but basically my ankles never really fully developed despite how much i worked out as a kid. i droll my ankles probably like 3 times a day when i was younger, im a bit more careful now, only about like once or twice a week and i rebound from it very quickly.

anways after my first year of soccer we had a new coach (this was on the all girls team) bc our first couch had to retire due to... being... not a very great person lets say. the new coach noticed i walked and ran a bit funny and one day asked me if i would allow him or my parents to wrap my ankles in bandages. i agreed and let my dad do it since he was a (navy) doctor. and lo and behold i could play soccer so much better. the pain was pretty much gone and i could fully concentrate on playing the game. and i was so fucking good.

back to middle school (in an entirely different state too) the co-ed soccer coach found out about my bandages, because one of my teammates saw me wrapping them in the bathroom and told him, and he made me stop. i got worse but i still kept trying, i wanted to spite him so bad. i wanted to spite all of them. i especially wanted to spite the girl that disclosed this information.

i hated her so much. she commented on my body so often. she bullied me every single day of middle school (thankfully i only went to middle school for two years). she was fat but called me fat, i never retaliated because it was pretty fucking clear she was insecure. sure the comments hurt because they were mean, but god i much preferred her fat comments to what she would end up sticking with after she saw me naked.

we were both on the soccer team (and basketball team), this was a very small school and i was in the largest class, at 18 people. usually we would have a good amount of time for everyone to change in the bathroom stalls individually, but it was going to rain in the late afternoon and because ppl in ct can't handle the rain like ppl in wa our game had been moved up so we all needed to get changed fast. whatever, i did not care, and i began to take off my uniform. it became very apparent to every girl on that team right then that i was not fat. so much so that bully girl had to give her thoughts on my body which was "wow, deadname! you really aren't fat." she said more but i refuse to quote her directly as it was horribly degrading and very rude to sex workers. but the gist was i had a body type perfect for men. i was 13 and appalled by this comment.

i know that probably seems like a pretty mediocre thing to be upset about in the grand scheme of things. but at 13 i had some... unfortunate sexual time on the school bus with another kid. over the fact that i couldn't be ace because of.... being a tease i suppose. before 13 my cousins often commented about how id dress like a slut from time to time. and i guess they had a point, i have a pretty more sense of what my body looks like and what it is doing at any moment in time. through out my life and still to this day i accidentally show more "private" areas of skin. my ass is fat and short skirts look better on me then long ones (and i honestly do not care that much if strangers get a glimpse, its not hurting anyone and you can just fucking look away). as a kid i often had plenty of "outfit malfunctions" that'd show off my boobs, they really don't make little girl clothing that fits around double ds. and once again i was small as kid, i could not fit adult shirts or bras or underwear (despite how fat my ass is i still wear teen/little girl underwear if im not wearing boxer breifs bc most woman's underwear will sag on me unless i go to an asian run store. mass produced clothing is fucking awful and a scam).

one time, with my first soccer team, the first coach had invited us all over for a halloween party. my mom didn't allow me to dress goth (she was and might still be scared i'll turn out to be a serial killer) but on halloween she allowed me to wear anything i wanted. and i wanted to be a skull fairy because i liked skulls and i loved being able to wear mostly black whenever i could. the top was strapless, the breast size a good amount too small for my honkers but that didn't stop me. mini skirt and thigh highs. i added a black feather boa because i loved boa's but being surrounded by other children meant i could hardly live my true camp-self day to day, but on halloween i could wear the biggest sparkly black boa i wanted. i also had some cool black fairy wings.

at the party she had us play some games, typical things like dunking for apples (i didn't participate in that one because im very bad at not breathing in water when its on my face), and pin the tail on the donkey, like super regular kid games. but there was one game where we were split into three teams, where one person on the team was tied up and chained to a chair while the other teammates took turns trying to find the right key to release the various padlocks along the captives body out of a large bowl of keys. first team to get their captive free wins. as you might imagine this game went on for a long time because there was a lot of fucking keys and if the key didn't work you had to return it to the bowl bc it might work for the other teams and all the keys looked extremely similar to each other. i was voted to be the captive (i wasn't really liked on my soccer team but i was fairly good at it for my first year and the coach saw promise in me and the team wasn't about friendship, it was about winning (we won 90% of our games that year)), which i was fine with because i didn't like the idea of running back and forth and getting frustrated. and in all honesty i was a little freak and for reasons unknown to me at the time, i really liked the idea of being tied up so i let it happen.

and oh boy how i had greatly misjudged how disliked i was! i was the first of the captives to get tied up, and i honestly don't know if there was a sorta mistake on the amount of supplies that were needed but after me, the two other captives were tied a lot less strictly to their chairs. they only had their wrists, ankles, and waists tied and padlocked to the chair, where as i also had my thighs and chest and tied up (no padlock on those two areas though). it quickly explained to me those were for like setting the scene or something. i accepted it but i was starting to panic a little because my chest was tied pretty tight and if i moved even a little bit my top would start to slip down. i tried to stay as still as possible and not bring any attention to my gradual double nip slip. but ya know, its hard to not wiggle a little when you've got various girls hands brushing against you as they try key after key.

the horror of it really came after one of the other teams won, the other team finishing seconds behind them, and my team had yet to find a single successful key. my boobs were fully out at this point and my skirt had rode up so my kim possible themed underwear was on full display. i was pretty embarrassed about the kim possible thing, and i suppose i was right to because my teammates absolutely thought it was lesbian behavior to have shego's smug face beaming from crotch. and to make everything worse, there was no skeleton key to this game. i was stuck there until the actual fucking keys were found. the teasing was pretty relentless, even after the mom came back into the room to see how things were going she didn't help. i asked her to help, i was on the verge of crying because i was very humiliated and wanted to go home (plus i was battling the very alien feeling of arousal), but she figured it would toughen me up to... sit through everything. eventually i was freed and i cried in the bathroom and asked to have my mom pick me up. she did, she asked me how the party was and i said it was fun but i was tired. (as a side note i'd be totally down to recreate this in a far more consensual way hahaha. being tied up and played with by some actual friends sounds so lovely)

so yeah, the comment about my body being great for men, for sex, was a bit to raw for me. i didn't say anything back though. i didn't know how to respond because all the other girls agreed. i got into the next stall as soon as possible and never changed in front of girls again.

i also never wore that skull fairy custom again unless it was with a long sleeved black turtle neck.

i became so much more conscious to cover my body up. but that never worked. i'd continue to be touched and groped until i eventually chopped those puppies off in my third year of college.

but even throwing my boobs away, even after starting t, cutting my hair short, wearing the most conservative outfits, people still touch me. i've grown fine with being touched by friends, i know they mean no harm. or... i guess i hope they don't mean any harm. i think overall people are good and have good intentions and sometimes just do things on accident and we don't have to over analyze everything.

i dont like strangers touching me. but... i'm very very awful. im no good at anything and i just, i just let it happen. every time. i let it happen. i guess i try to softly push their hands away, but i get so scared if i try any harder things will go worse. i dont speak up or say no. at most i maybe shake my head. god i wish i wasn't so fucking stupid.

but then maybe im not. the overwhelming majority of people i try to tell about these things don't believe me. or don't think its really bad that it happened. when i was in college i tried to use the woman's resource center for... ah well for like rape related stuff. but they told me i wasn't welcomed in the center and that whatever happened to me was not rape and does not warrant support. i know its wrong to use resources and support for something you've never actually for real gone through, but i was... and i guess still am desperate for something. i don't know what that is. i don't know how to define what i've gone through. i just have been told its not rape, its not really sexual assault, and its so minor that i can't even call it sexual harassment. but... i've seen people with similar stories to mine get those resources and be welcomed, embraced.

i hate to say this... but sometimes i wonder if its because i wore a tie and dress pants everywhere in college. i've never dyed my hair, and i don't really... idk i guess i don't look queer enough or feminine enough. maybe i scared people because i looked like the people who did bad things to them. i hadn't started t yet when i was rejected from the center, i hadn't even had my boobs removed. but no matter where i went there was this overall feeling that i was 100% a man and men don't go through those things very often. and it made it worse that i was a trans man, if i talked about those things i was invalidating my own gender and it made others uncomfortable. i had friends that hated to think of me before i was chosenname, that would tell me i was misgendering myself if i talked about specific things i went through. so i stopped.

i understood then that anyone who claimed themselves to be a safe person to talk to about things, to come to when you needed help, where not for me. i did not count.

i didn't mention my time in high school. i had one good year, 9th grade, at a tech school in ct. i moved to mi a year later. but i was loved, i was popular, i was just me. i still cry thinking about how much better my life could have been if i could have stayed at that school and not moved away. yeah i was being used because i was the smartest kid in the school and i was actively improving the test grades so much that i became a literal bargaining chip at a big conference for the district panel on fund allocation amongst the public schools. i was very happy with this by the way, and i had actively and enthusiastically given consent for the board members to use my grades as a means to afford more for the school, we all pretended that i wasn't moving come the next year. a few teachers joked about kidnapping me so i could keep attending the school (another thing i told them to do but this time they didn't :c). anyways, worked out well, the whole school got funded, more kids with higher test scores started attentending after me, and now the schools been completely remolded (it was originally designed as a cold war bunker turned tech school hahaha. we had a boiler room still that would constantly blow up and we'd just get random days off of school. it ruled).

then i moved to mi. everything went downhill. i become the obsession of one kid in my grade who i unfortunately had a locker right next to. again i wore a lot of short skirts, but at this point i was wearing leggings underneath as opposed to thigh highs, and i wore my blouses all the way buttoned up with a scarf acting as a diy tie. it was a killer look, id still wear it. but this guy decided i was his anime waifu. he'd try to get me alone. he'd push me up against walls to tell me how beautiful i am and how he would do anything for me. it was pretty bad because i didn't know how to make boundaries. i was scared of him getting violent with me (though he never showed any tendancies to do so... i was... well we've established im stupid). so for three years id occasionally just have to deal with some guy with a huge asian festish trying desperately to date me. i avoided my locker as much as i could.

then there was the pathetic guy. he was a year ahead of me and not interested in my at first. i was on the quiz bowl team with him and he had a bit of a reputation of going after woman who continually turned him down, and he often tried to go for the more.... aaa mentally ill girlies. he went after my friend who was a senior (also not a girl anymore) and i hated him forever after being told about it. i tried to be rude to him, though i don't know if he ever understood that or maybe i wasn't good at being rude (though i'm pretty damn good at it i think!). but after my friend graduated he suddenly started to push himself on me. at quizbowl matches, id sometimes get a little overwhelmed by all the buzzer sounds so id occasionally sit at the back of the room to get a bit of distance from the noise (which everyone was pretty cool with!), and well he'd follow me right on back. he didn't want me to be lonely he told me. i never felt lonely, but i did begin to worry that maybe i looked lonely or maybe he was lonely. but i also didn't like him, but also i was at a sporting event and he was my teammate so i can't be rude to him. so id let him sit near me. then he'd get nearer and nearer and nearer until he had his arms wrapped around me. he'd whisper in my ear and dig his fingers into my thighs, sometimes he'd pull them apart. but i never tried too hard to stop him. i don't know why.

eventually a girl in his grade and on my team noticed this, and she started sitting by me too. he stopped. i never told her thank you, but i thought it, i tried to convey it with my eyes. she didn't care much for me but she always kept her gaze on me when he was around. sometimes.... i find it hard to believe she was the first person to ever help me out of something like that.

occasionally at school the guy would get me alone and he'd be rather violent. he'd make me feel bad that i never told her to stop staring. didn't i like him? didn't i trust him? he was so alone and i was too and he was just trying to make me feel better. he threatened to sue me when i told his younger brother i didn't much care for his big brother as he pushed himself on my friend years ago. i did laugh in his face because that was such an empty threat, even someone as gullible and stupid as me could put that together.

god id never want to relive middle or high school, or even elementary school... or college... wild because i was really good at school and i've never been good at anything ever again.

now these days... ah my adult years have been a bit better. i get groped a little less now that i don't have boobs. but i don't wear as much conservative clothing as i use to. i've started wearing feminine outfits again, which are nice. i try not to let the... weird things people say to me get me down. i try not to believe i deserve those words.

i tried to get use to taking the bus again. i live an hours walk away from my job but i live on a direct bus line to it. though over a year ago... when i was trying out the buses again by myself a man came up to me. i was sitting down at the bus stop and he stood right in front me of, very close, as close as he could be. he was very clearly homeless and most definitely mentally ill so i didn't want to be mean about personal space right away. so he started talking and i slowly pushed myself to the end of the bench se we had more distance while talking. but that did not work as he just followed. his questions got weirder. he had commented about how he thinks boys look nice in skirts and stockings and my stupid fucking ass was like "oh well thats great! he seems really supportive! i guess i don't have anything to worry about!" then his hands came down on my thighs. i placed my hands on top of his hand gave them a slight push downwards, i was trying to say "please don't" but that wasn't clear enough. he instead started rubbing my legs up and down.

at this point i was like "ah fuck! again! again with something happening at a bus!" but i could not summon up enough of a fight in myself and i just kept answering his questions like a dumbass.

then he asked "where are your parents", that was an odd question. "not here, at home probably." "are you heading to school?" "no... no." i was so lost at this question. it seemed so fucking bizarre to me "what school do you go to? what school around here? where are you going?" "i graduated!" "from where? when?" "grand valley! a few years ago!" then i watched his eyes grow cold. he stopped smiling. and he turned and left me. no further questions. the bus arrived and i got on. i just stared out the window and cried silently as i slowly realized what had just happened. i was suppose to then take the bus back, but i couldn't. i called my boyfriend and cried to him and asked if he could pick me up instead and he did. he promised me he would if i ended up getting to uncomfortable.

i try so hard to get use to the bus. i think public transportation is great. but i keep getting scared. my looks get me in trouble more then they give me any benefit. he isn't the first guy to think im a kid and try stuff with me. even in college well meaning people told me their attraction to me felt incredibly illegal. i still don't really know how to process that. personally i think i'm rather ugly and unapealing. but i've had plenty of people tell me they are attracted to me but feel bad about it. and i don't know what that means.

i know i can't have an onlyfans. no matter how much i prove my age it just gets reported for being csem, same with instagram. i had to stop posting pictures of my fully clothed body on insta because even those were getting reported! i can't show my face for my works socmed bc it'll get taken down. even when there was just the back of my head people thought i was a child (and were freaked out by the content of the reel due to my perceived age).

i feel like im just trapped forever in this weird... bubble. nothing ive been through is considered to be enough. but all of it slows me down. all of it scares me. all of it continues to ruin my life. i get anxious. i get so scared. i have to be told what to do. i need people to not see me as human because when people care about me at a deeper level, when they don't just see me as some fun toy to play with and throw out in a year, i get scared.

god this has gone on for so long. i did not mean it. but i gotta get in the shower. i have to go to work. im scared and anxious and depressed but i gotta go to work. i wish i could just do art. but i've just started self harming again instead. im so stupid. but i guess writing all this out was better then cutting myself.

now if you somehow read through all this. do not call the cops for a wellness check. i will try my hardest to do suicide by cop.

also never call the cops for a wellness check on anyone ever you fucking moron. do you know what they do? do you? do you fucking know? would you believe me if i told you even a single fucking thing they've done to me? or are you just going to ignore that and call because "youre so scared for me" and you think because im white ill be safe. shut up and unfollow me. never talk to me again. block me. you are a fucking idiot and only view the world in black and white. i do not need that in my life. educate yourself on the history of cops and disabled folks, trans folks, and gay men. seriously. fucking go and learn and be a better person.

[leanrexisfin]

His dad made me uncomfortable with his statement 

I said he acts nice when other people are around 

He said what do you do 

He said woman are hell 

I said right 

He said men are normal were just animals 

Justin made ape sounds 

It grossed me out 

You guys are to emotional and that we could conquer the world in two days if we get our shit together 

I felt like he was trying to tell me fall in line 

I  felt insecure in my current setting 

I felt like he was comparing me to his wife (she’s 45) 

I felt like Justin didn’t stick up for me or tell him to stop 

I felt like Justin talks about me to him (I have been emotional ) that makes me uncomfortable

 I don’t like being compared to them because theyre old and the world is new and bright ( im 25)

I know that I am fine I feel like im just going through a difficult time right now and people are judging me for that. I wish I wasn’t having hard time but don’t have control over the current circumstance 

  Its a shame to me that I can’t have a weak moment. At least to the public in any sense male/female 

   I hate the patriarchy and how it makes women out to be this emotionally unstable raging bitch. 

 Women are not allowed to be women. Men are tyrants and just pass it off as being animalistic.

 I have a right to feel. and men do as well

 They get on high and always think they’re above the rest of the humans.

They forget when they feel 

  Justin was the most miserable person in my life who he had no money and life wasn’t going the way he wanted 

  I felt bad for him I empathize with what he may have been going through and I actually started to see things better. In this moment I began to grow 

  Goerge was miserable his job laid him off and he was in between jobs I witnessed it Fran spoke on it multiple times as well. 

 just the same I felt bad about Jorge and I couldn’t even imagine the pressure on his back to keep up the house and also the stress on Fran too have ahold up her end for her husbands sake I can’t imagine how that felt for george as well. 

 Justin is following behind his dad as he should but I am afraid that his father will contaminate his head with his nasty. Thoughts on women. I saw good in George until this conversation. Although Ive always noticed he goes on many power trips I never judged because I liked his character and maybe I still do but I completely disgree with his views on women and I don’t need someone who plans to be my husband having the same thought patterns. seeing woman as “emotional” instead of all knowing is delusional  . To think men call us such a stupid word is exactly that , delusional. Women are so Devine 

What’s the quote again ? Behind every great man is a greater woman.

So tell me how a great man is led by a emotional raging delusional bitch. 

Go figure 

And to the men that don’t respect woman as people. As humans. how about you take your dick and Continue to use womans bodies to jerk off. Because you deserve just that pathetic life you wish for. Filled with nothing 

And I feel sorry for Fran as much as I don’t like her either 

  How complicated of a life to live behind a man 

I don’t even think she likes to swing 

She just doing what he wants 

She so caught up in keeping her man and being a wife she can’t even see it anymore 

I don’t want to be like that 

Not ever 

I don’t wanna lose me in a man 

She works everyday

She cooks for him 

Cleans behind him 

Organize his life 

Probably take behind him

She has to stay happy stay horny and also be prepared to lick pussy when he feels frisky 

She’s VERY jealous and pretends to play its off and it kills her insides that (this is my assumption) she puts in all that work for a man who never kept his dick for her. Not even his eye balls 

She is constantly comparing herself to other woman she talks down on the girls she feels threatened by 

  and after feeling all that rage she plays it cool and washes the dishes the makes him a drink while trying to cook up a new way to suck him 

She’s not emotional she’s exhausted 

She’s pretending she’s not 

My mother does the same thing 

Women carry this burden and its so stupid and meaningless I wonder if it is even worth is to try to keep a man 

Do I get white man ? 

Do I settle so a rich mana nd cry in a rolls royce ?

Do I manipulate my man for years on end to stay on top ?

Do I find a stupid man who offers no mental elavation because he’s easy ?

Do I waste my years “waiting it out”?

Or do I die alone. 

[endthedrugwarnowdotorg]

im gonna go with my gut here & my gut which is still trying to untangle itself from the knots its rightfully in for AGAiN FAiLiNG TO MAKE MY WAY TO MY HAPPY HOME it also tells me that, without a doubt, there was one thing i fucked up by doing & that was letting my family know where we lived & anything about our lives because they killed the god damn beautiful lil boy who wanted to make me his wife so badly & deserved all the happiness & everything he had coming i also fucked up when i didnt testify or at least fucking watch Cody do so apparently he fucking said some shit that will FOREVER MAKE HiMA A GOD AMONST MEN & THAT WiLL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN god imisshimsomuch i was already being taunted by martha & Keenan & all their bullshit i dont know why they were fucking with me so hard then but i should have been more present i will never forgive myself for not being more there for him especially then but he still had so much hope for the future & then that got crushed despite it being already led astray not that he even cared how much he had to not be himself to make me someone that would fit into his life, as fake & fucking lied on that shit was why does the god damn dark lord want him to not be happy? i fuckin know he deserves it & it will fucking happen & i will be the one who makes it happen & again, i dont want to have to destroy all these people in the process he wanted to marry me so what? thats something to be upset about? he wanted to make me a princess.. i deserved that &i will fucking live up to that & he will be happier than anyone has ever been if it is the last thing i ever do but the other thing my gut is telling me is that they just dont want those assholes to know where we are so we arent going to tell them & its definitely worked thus far so as long as i can just do my part & not tell my family anything about where i am or basically anything ever again then i can take my place where i have earned a spot & we can be the happy couple that lives above all the people that we tried to hangout with but who just for the most part COULD NOT HANG for too long maybe a fateful few will be able to come thru but as it stands, nope cuz every person just could not handle what we handledd without even questioning whether it was fair or if we deserved it its not hard to do when its what youre meant to do & damn were so good at our job lets go back to work babe come get me tho i deserve a ride, im weaker than i seem & more miserable than i come across & ive found a way to do what we love but its JUST TERRiBLE WHEN THE PROMiSE OF YOUR RETURN iS NOT ON THE HORiZON iM SORRY EVERYONE iS SO DiSAPOINTiNG :( CANT SAY i DiDNT TELL YOU SO JUST REMEMBER THAT iM NOT LiKE THEM neither are u, you rock, rock

[hugepolecat3298]

oh also more about that post i was talking about in the tags of the graduation post: someone in the comments was like ‘yeah its just like a participation trophy for finishing the easiest years of your life’ or something to that idea and like wow youre out of your fucking mind if you think thats an appropriate thing to say to the teenagers who everyone agrees are currently going through a godawful mental health crisis like i hate to break it to you but if you say that to your actual irl students at least one of them will use it as an excuse to genuinely kill themself like that statement isn’t anything but encouraging suicide you’re not funny

[mikeyelistsukasa]

Hi!!! :>

Can I request Hanako and Yashiro with an powerful supernatural s/o that seemed super nice and friendly at first but then they start to realize they have a god complex? Over time, they only show themselves to be arrogant, fervently self-confident and with an excessive apathy for the people around them (something that people with this complex possess). Only once in a while S/o puts them down and how lucky they are to date them. S/o also don’t really hesitate to hurt other people and treats them as peasants and/or toys. Just remembering that S/o doesn’t love Hanako and Yashiro, they love the idea of them. Thank u!

And i’m so sorry if this request is too weird and wrong, you can refuse if u want!

I admit writing a mean s/o is harder for me then i thought but i tried to make the personality as fitting as possible for you! (11th request)

—————————————

Hanako and Yashiro with a powerful supernatural Darling who has god complex

Oh jesus this some chaos and not a relationship

How was he able to get fooled by you

You were so kind and lovey-dovey to him

He misses the kind smile you always showed him and when you all had fun in the bathroom all cleaning

And now he can’t even recognise you

It all started with the toilet cleaning

“s/o there you are! Why aren’t you cleaning with the others? Come hop hop!”

“Nah i don’t feel like it”

“I do not recall asking you it was an order~”

“Well I don’t recall being the slave in this relationship”

He was taken back at your words. He now kind of feels guilty for saying that

“Im sorry you’re right but yashiro could really use some help?”

“Fine” you said in a annoyed voice as you walked into the bathroom

“Oh S/O-san/kun! Im glad you came to help me ag-“

*splash*

You put the bucked that was full of water on her head

„There i helped her by cleaning her and now im leaving“

…this boy was too stunned to move he just stared at you in shock as you walked away

The next day he asked you why you did it

„isn’t it obvious? You told me your poor cinderella needed help so i cleaned her up so that her prince will come to the rescue and out of annoyance i left because it hurts to know im the bad guy and my bf goes to rescue the poor cinderella yahiro here yashiro there…im sick of hearing her it males me want to punch you in the face so that you remember with who you are“

2x feels guilty

„Im sorry its okay to be jealous but you don’t have to go overbo-„

„Jealous?????? Me!?!?!? Are you kidding hanako? Im a powerful supernatural who could end her life anytime i want and you’re telling me I’d be jealous of some girl with the most thick ugly legs like her?!?!“

You continued to act that way towards his other friends and you always managed to guilt trip him.

He tried to tell you that you can’t act that way but then you always replied with some mean comment

He probably asks his friends to help for a break up because he can’t stay in such a relationship where his partner hurts others and treats him wrongly.

She thought you’re a gift from heaven from her

You’re so handsome/pretty

Strong/powerful

And most importantly sooosooo kind and romantic towards her

God if only she knew before your actual true colours

„Stop hanging around with that stupid hanaroable n.7“

„Im so sorry honey its just remember i made a deal with him and-„

„I don’t care! And don’t call me honey that’s disgusting you’re not on my level to call me that“

Yashiro started to often go to hanako to vent about you to having a fight again

So hanako offered to help you break up because it’s obvious you will only bring nothing but toxicity in this relationship

So here she is standing in front of you saying she wants to break up

„You seriously want to break up? With ME? Are you crazy or something?? I knew you were spending too much time with your little friend ghost there.i should’ve gotten rid of him.After i treated you so nicely gave you a chance to be with me you are now saying you want to break up and thats how you repay me.pf im shocked you clearly forgot that if you leave me then you will be all miserable again every guy will reject you and your fat daikon ankels snd your big stupid forehead“

This was so hearbreaking to hear. She broke down crying

„Stop it with dour whining before I’ll give you a reason to cry“

Hearing that she immediately stopped crying fearing for her life she stood up and ran away from you glad that she Finnaly gor rid if you

Hanako and kou eventually had to always be closer and keep an eye on yashiro in case you might show up

Well i tried🥲😅 thank you for your request!!!hope i left you satisfied as always and that you will keep visiting my page ^^

[mercy-burning]

Move This Along

Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: After months of waiting, Spencer decides he finally wants to have sex with Reader. Category: SMUT (18+) Warnings: Language, sex (oral sex- female receiving, virgin!Spence, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie) Word Count: 5.6k

Full Request: “...so a smutty oneshot with like virgin!spencer but im talkling like baby spence. and hes super blushy and cute but then when it happens its rlly raunchy and therws a lot of dirty talk. and like reader doesnt work at the bau but theyre close friends. and like she goes out to a bar with him and the team and they tease him so then she takes him home and literally fucks him after a movie or smth idk...” — @mggscumrag

MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST

NOTE: It took me forever to figure out how I wanted to do this, but once I did, it came out so quickly! I hope it’s to your liking 🥰

***

The first time she went out to meet Elle's friends from work, Y/N found herself absolutely nervous, and she wasn't sure why. She was always great with meeting new people, but for some reason, the prospect of meeting her next-door neighbor's co-workers seemed to really do a number on her.

She remembers how anxious she'd been, constantly worrying that they wouldn't like her, not to mention they were all probably super smart and strong and intimidating, just like Elle. Anyone who aided in putting away serial killers, rapists, and other monsters had to be just about the most intimidating personality there ever was.

But as Y/N soon learned, that wasn't quite the case at all.

To be fair, they were all intimidating in their own little ways, though it was really easy to forget about that when she was laughing with them, sharing drinks and stories, and exchanging phone numbers to stay in touch.

That's how she and Spencer had come to be good friends. Despite how obviously shy he was whenever they saw each other, the two of them managed to have conversations on just about everything. It usually happened that he talked and she listened to whatever he was teaching her, but she'd always add on the occasional, "Wow, I didn't know that," or "That's really fascinating." All of which she could tell he was surprised at and appreciated.

And since the first time they met at Elle's birthday party, the night she met the whole team for the first time, they'd been practically inseparable. While Y/N was good friends with the whole team, save for Gideon, who always seemed to like it better by himself, her relationship with Spencer seemed to even surpass the bond she'd built with her neighbor-slash-best friend.

Elle even told her as much one Saturday night, as the two of them were driving to the bar to meet up with everyone for a few drinks.

She'd mentioned it as a joke, but Y/N was instantly apologetic.

Elle only laughed. "Don't apologize. Actually, I think it's good that Reid has another friend outside of work. You're good for him. And you know, I think he has a little crush on you."

Warmth rushed to Y/N's cheeks, and she tried to hide it but failed miserably, causing Elle to give her a knowing smile. "Y—You don't know what you're talking about, Elle, it's not like that."

"Oh come on, it totally is. You give him the light of day when no one else does, he talks about you all the time, and everyone at work knows it."

She paused. "They... do?"

"Of course they do, we're all profilers, but it doesn't take one to see how obsessed that boy is with you. I think you should go for it."

Y/N would have been lying if she said she hadn't thought about asking him out. But in the end she had always figured it was a little weird, being that she was friends with all his and Elle's co-workers and she'd kinda been adopted into their family of sorts. But hearing what her neighbor was saying... She started to think differently about it.

"You really think so?"

Elle nodded. "Absolutely."'

"Okay," she replied with an excited smile. "Maybe I will, then."

A week later and the two of them started dating. Y/N always thinks back to the first few weeks of their relationship, how adorably shy and blush-prone Spencer was, even after they'd been together for some time. They spent almost all their free time together, and it still seemed like he was nervous to be around her. He'd assured her on multiple occasions that that wasn't the case, but Y/N still wondered why he hadn't fully warmed up to being around her.

Especially in public. Oh, in public it was worse. Y/N clung to his arm, and his face immediately got red. What confused her the most, though, was that every time she pulled away to make him more comfortable, he pulled her back in, seemingly desperate to feel her warmth.

In the end she and Spencer had grown to develop their own little communication system for public settings, something to let the other know when something was really wrong, and when to ask if the other was comfortable.

One night everyone was meeting after a rough case somewhere in Denver, and Y/N offered to buy everyone drinks once Spencer had called to tell her they were all back. It wasn't out of the ordinary for her to do that, but it had been a while, so everyone was quick to except. Well, mostly everyone— Gideon as per usual went his separate way, and Hotch was eager to get home and see his family.

Y/N was waiting for them at their favorite bar downtown when she heard a loud squeal that sounded a lot like her name. Sure enough, it was easy to spot a very yellow-clad Penelope Garcia headed straight towards her with her arms stretched out for a hug when she turned around. The smile she adorned was instantaneous as her arms came out a well, embracing Penelope with a large hug that almost knocked the wind out of her.

"I missed you!" she exclaimed, still hugging Y/N and swaying them back and forth a little. "I mean, I know I don't ever travel with the team, but because of that we should hang out more."

"Next time I need some company, I know who to call."

Y/N spotted Spencer then, behind Penelope and patiently waiting for a greeting. She smiled at him and whispered, "Hi," to which Penelope must have heard.

She quickly released her from their embrace and stepped out of the way. "Oh! I'm sorry, I'm keeping you from your boy wonder."

She laughed as she transferred from Penelope's arms to Spencer's. He muttered a little, "Hi," into her hair as she squeezed him and shoved her face into his neck. If she had to bet, he was probably red as a tomato right now with how close her mouth was to his neck—it was his weakness and she knew it. And just to tease him a little bit she quickly kissed up his neck, his jaw, and placed a decent peck on his lips before pulling away and grabbing his hand.

Despite the shy smile and the blush adorning his cheeks, he squeezed her hand tight and kept her at his side like they would die if they weren't touching at all times.

Everyone gave little greetings to Y/N as they all made their way to a large booth near the back. Y/N was sitting on one side with Elle to her right and Spencer to her left, while Derek, Penelope, and JJ sat across from them. Y/N got them all their preferred drinks, and a beer for herself, which Spencer couldn't help but find oddly attractive.

He glanced over at her as she took swigs from the bottle as the night progressed, and for whatever reason the sight made his insides all warm and tingly. And when she used her unoccupied hand to grab his under the table, rubbing gentle circles over the inside of his palm with her thumb, he'd never felt more in love with another person. He wasn't even drinking any alcohol, yet his head swam and his heart soared all the same, every bone in his body humming with euphoria at just the mere thought of her.

He must have been staring a little too obviously, because Derek kicked his leg under the table, pulling him from the lovesick daydream he never wanted to leave.

"I can't tell if those are cute ol' puppy dog eyes or bedroom eyes," Derek laughed, and everyone laughed right alongside him.

"Oh, stop it," Penelope said, swatting his arm. "He's obviously just very in love with her, what more could you need to know?"

"Oh, come on, tell me you're not curious to know how they... operate."

She smacked him harder this time, and everyone laughed.

Knowing her boyfriend didn't really care for the spotlight, especially when it came to their relationship, Y/N squeezed Spencer's hand under the table in reassurance. She drew a question mark in his palm, their signal for, "Are you uncomfortable?" And he responded by drawing an "X" in her palm, their answer for, "No." She laced their fingers together then, and set her beer down.

"Morgan, our sex life isn't any of your business," she stated simply.

Spencer felt his stomach churn at the sentence, if only because said sex life was, as of late, non-existent.

He and Y/N had made out a lot, sure, but the one time they did try having sex, he made it about ten seconds being inside of her before he finished, and since then he'd been kind of embarrassed about it. They only ever made out since then, because before it ever got that far he stopped it, nervous that he'd disappoint her.

And now his non-existent sex life was the topic of conversation, and if anyone picked up on it, he would have felt worse about the whole thing.

So, he didn't stop himself from speaking. "But if you must know, it's great."

Y/N's hand tensed up in his, and she looked over at him, shock marinating in her eyes. To anyone else it would have looked like she was surprised he'd even bring it up, but he knew she was most likely more curious to know why he'd lied about it.

Their friends laughed regardless, Elle adding a curious and joking, "Care to elaborate?"

Ready to change the subject, Spencer shook his head. "Nope."

"Yeah, actually I think we're gonna head out early," Y/N added. Spencer was suddenly worried he'd made her upset, but she rubbed gentle circles into his hand that reassured him everything was okay.

He got out of the booth and Y/N followed, as their friends grumbled.

"Oh, come on, we didn't mean to embarrass you guys," Derek said.

"No, that's not it," Y/N said as she threw on a light jacket. "You just reminded me how much I'd like to operate with my boyfriend since I haven't seen him in a few days, so we're leaving. Have a good night."

Spencer felt searing heat rise to his cheeks as he turned around and ushered Y/N out the door, accompanied by low whistles and claps from their friends.

***

The two of them were sitting on the couch now, Y/N having just set down a couple classes of water.

"Sorry if you wanted to stay," she said quietly, playing with her thumbs. "You know we don't... actually have to operate if you don't want, obviously, I was just looking for something to say..."

"Oh, Y/N, I know. Don't worry about it. Really, I... I was the one who even brought it up, I should have just let you handle it."

She looked up at him with a small smile. "Why.. did you bring it up anyway?"

"Well, I... I guess I just felt embarrassed. And I know what we do together isn't any of their business, but I was just... I really was thinking about how much I love you, and when Morgan brought it up, I felt like I wasn't... living up? To your expectations? I don't..." He sighed, unsure how to properly articulate how he was feeling. "I don't know. I just thought about the last time we tried having sex, and I felt embarrassed about it, that's all."

"Oh, honey," Y/N cooed, scooting closer to him and bringing her hand up to brush some of the hair from his face. "You know, you... don't have anything to prove, right? I know how much you love me, and you don't need to be having sex with me to show me, I hope you know that."

Still, he couldn't bring himself to look at her face. "I do," he choked out, pulling at the hem of his shirt. "I'm... I'm sorry."

Y/N's tongue clicked, and she leaned into him, wrapping one of her arms around his neck and placing the other across his lap. She held him tight and kissed the side of his head. "Don't you ever be sorry, unless you cheat on me. Then there will be something to be sorry about."

He laughed at her joke, turning his head to brush his nose against hers. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered, giving him the lightest of kisses on the lips.

When she pulled away, he leaned in again, kissing her a little harder, and she gladly reciprocated. With every passing second, all of his worries started to melt away like the snow to her sunshine. Within every kiss was an emanation of outpouring love and comfort that warmed his soul and gave him the confidence to try something bold.

His hands threaded through her hair as he drew her in closer, and instinctively, she climbed over his lap, resting her hands on his shoulders as he gently probed her mouth with his tongue. The sound of her sigh as she opened up to him and allowed him to fully explore her mouth with his made his stomach bubble and tense.

This would be about the time where he'd stop, telling Y/N that they should slow down, and she'd sweetly oblige and stay cuddled into his side as they drifted off to sleep.

But tonight he didn't want that.

Tonight he wanted more.

While one of his hands remained in her hair, gently massaging her scalp, the other snaked down to her lower back. He gently slid his fingers under the fabric of her shirt and pressed his palm flat against her, pulling her closer to him with a desperation that both shocked and excited her.

Deciding to test the waters, Y/N rolled her hips, feeling him jump slightly underneath her, followed by a whine that vibrated her mouth and sent a low hum of pressure through her stomach.

Still, she pulled away.

Well... She tried to.

When she pulled her face away from him, Spencer used the hand in her hair to bring her back, tilting his head in the other direction and continuing to kiss her with enough passion for the both of them. And it didn't help that the sound she made when he did it spurred him on. She whimpered loudly into his mouth, and the hand on her back involuntarily slid down to grab her ass.

"Hey," she managed to get out when he pulled away momentarily for air. "Hey, you don't... We don't have to really do this if you don't want. I—I don't want you to think that what happened earlier means we have to have sex."

"Y/N..." His hand gently kneaded her ass, and against her better judgement, she rolled her hips again, sighing out against his lips. "I don't want to put it off any longer... Really, I... I want to. I want to show you how much I love you."

She kissed him softly again, bringing both of her hands up to cradle his face. "You already do. Every day."

She was giving him an out, and Spencer appreciated it. But with the way his insides were practically melting away at her presence, he knew more than anything that this was what he wanted.

"I know," he said. "But if you don't mind, today I'd like to show you a little extra." And then he kissed her deeply again.

Her hands tightened on his face, right before they slid up and through his hair. She gently tugged at it, and he let out one of the most delicious sounds she'd ever heard. For future reference, she relished in that sound, in that feeling, and made a mental note to try it out some more when they got further along in their sexual path.

But tonight, she would let him call the shots. He was finally ready to try it again, and seeing how confident he grew in his touches and kisses when she submitted to him, it was the simplest decision.

So she remained on his lap until he made another move, encouraging him with whimpers and languid rolls of her hips against his. Her hands grew frenzied in his hair when he dipped his hand past the waistband of her jeans and underwear, sticking his fingers in only about a knuckle deep. The warmth of his hands against her bare skin sent shivers down her spine, which she let show by involuntarily grinding down on his lap.

Spencer groaned deeply more than whined this time, his grip on her hands gripping tighter to her backside. He forced himself to remove his mouth from hers long enough to breathe out, "Bedroom. Please."

As much as Y/N didn't want to get off of his lap, she knew that what waited for her in the bedroom would be worth the momentary loss of complete physical contact. So she peeled herself away from her boyfriend, grabbing him by the hand, and lead him to her bedroom.

Once the door was closed, he was on her again, caging her face between his large hands and capturing her lips in another heated kiss. They moved backwards until she hit her back against the door, and the second their movement stopped, Spencer used their standing position to press his full body weight into her, their legs tangling together.

Meanwhile, Y/N was trying to figure out where to put her hands. She wanted to brace them on his chest, but it was pressed tightly against hers. So they wandered over his back, but she couldn't decide whether to place them under his shirt or on his butt. Or maybe she wanted to grip his arms to feel the veins as they strained against his skin from holding her face. The possibilities were quite endless.

So endless that they were even surprising—Spencer noticed her wandering hands and promptly decided to place them where he wanted, which was apparently above her head. He removed his hands from her face and pinned her wrists to the door above her head, and she huffed a breath as he pulled away to speak.

"Is this okay? I wasn't too... too rough?"

The concern swimming in his lust-filled eyes drew a little whimper from her throat as she struggled to find the right words. But finally, she settled on, "That was so fucking hot..."

Relief flashed over his gaze right before he grinned. His fingers flexed against her wrists, and even though she couldn't see them, she could imagine how it looked. And it really was fucking hot.

Seeing the expression on her face, Spencer leaned forward again and kissed her one last time. Their lips moved together hungrily, dancing in perfect synchronization, the music being the frantic beating of their hearts.

And then he started to trail his kisses down her jaw and neck, keeping her hands firmly pinned to the door. Usually she was the one to explore his neck with her tongue and teeth, but this time he wanted to try it for himself. Mirroring what he'd felt her do to him hundreds of times over, he soaked in every single sound she made, from the little whimpers of pleasure to the soft, choked whispers of his name dancing over her lips. And when her hips canted forward, searching for any kind of friction, he decided to grant it to her.

As his kisses moved down along her collarbone, his hands gently slid down with him, over her arms and then down to the bottom of her shirt as he kneeled in front of her. He lifted the shirt slowly, each new inch of exposed skin being met with soft kisses until it reached her breasts. He reached up to palm them over her bra while he trailed his kisses downward again.

Even though she was wearing jeans, he pressed kisses to her legs anyway. She squirmed under his touch, and the feeling made his heart soar.

"Please, Spence," she huffed, bringing her hands down to lay overtop of his. She felt the tendons and veins in his hands as they squeezed her, and with everything she had, she tried not to beg him to use them in more interesting places. She wanted to let him take his time, to be a vessel for his exploration, but it was growing harder every second to be patient.

Thankfully he seemed to get what she was feeling, because his hands slid out from under her shirt and rested at her jeans. "Can I take these off?"

The fact that he even asked when she so clearly begged him to do it made her heart swell. "Please do," she chuckled, though it turned into a choked sigh when his fingers actually started undoing the button. And at the sound of her zipper going down, she could have come undone right there.

He pulled her jeans down slowly and helped her step out of them. And she thought maybe he'd take the next step and do the same with her underwear, but he opted to use his mouth instead.

With gentle kisses, he traced the hem of the fabric all the way to either side of her waist. And then he looked up at her with curious eyes and shifted his face, pressing his nose right up against where her clit would be. Her hands immediately went to his hair, but he grabbed her wrists again and laid them at her sides. "Do you want me to move this along?" His voice wasn't teasing as much as it was genuine curiosity.

Still, Y/N resisted the urge to tell him yes. "I—I want you to do whatever feels right. Tonight's... about you. What you want."

"Well, what I want is to make you feel good. So, again... Do you want me to move this along?"

Every time his lips moved, they brushed up against where she desperately wanted him. And it was killing her. So, she nodded vigorously. "Yes, please," she whispered.

And with that, Spencer released her hands and used his fingers to gently rub her over the fabric. The contact made her shiver visibly, and he took that as a good sign. So he wasted no more time and replaced his fingers with his tongue, fluttering his eyes closed at the taste of her. And he knew that once the thin fabric was gone it would be stronger, but even then he was thoroughly wrecked.

He kept lapping his tongue over her, feeling her panties get wetter with ever second, and he only finally removed them when she started grinding her hips closer to his face, desperate for more.

When he did finally bring his tongue to fully taste her for the first time, they both let out the filthiest sounds, months and months of build-up starting to come to a head. He tasted her like he would an ice cream cone, and for the first few moments his eyes remained closed, all his focus on this brand new sensation. But he wanted nothing more than to see her react to him. So he opened his eyes and continued his ministrations, pupils blowing wide at the sight of her above him.

She was panting, her mouth hung open and her tongue just barely peeking out over her bottom lip. Her eyes remained shut, though Spencer could tell she was struggling to open them. With a tentative flick of his tongue over her clit, he took notice of the little gasp she made, and he knew he'd found it. So he repeated his action, providing small kitten licks to her clit as she picked up her breathing and clenched her hands at her sides.

He picked up the pace then, taking note of every little thing that made her cry out or jump with pleasure until she was clutching his hair. He was sucking on her clit now, his middle finger gently sliding in and out of her when she spoke.

"Oh, fuck, keep doing that. I'm... I'm almost..."

He felt her tighten around his finger as she started careening off the edge, and he did his best to keep his eyes on her face, because it had practically been haunting him, wondering what it would be like to see her come undone at his mercy.

To say it was better than he could have ever dreamed was a severe understatement.

Y/N's head leaned back against the door, her chin jutted out so he could see the beautiful contours of her chin and neck. He saw her throat contract as she moaned out his name, saw her chest heave as she struggled to catch her breath, and best of all, he felt her flutter around his finger and mouth. And if that was high inducing, he couldn't wait to feel wat it would be like to replace them with something else.

The mere thought had him trembling.

He pulled back when she huffed out an over-stimulated, "Okay, please, please stop, oh..."

Though it could just as easily have been a painful sentiment, the hungry, dazed look in her eye suggested otherwise.

Spencer stood up and brought his finger to his mouth, still caught up in her taste before she ripped his wrist away and kissed him, threading her fingers through his hair and moaning into his mouth.

Before he could get lost in it, though, she pulled away and nodded. "Okay. I think you're wearing too many clothes."

He tilted his head down in a little flush, and with the help of Y/N, his shirt peeled away from his body and joined her pants and underwear on the floor.

Y/N mirrored his actions, kissing gently down his jaw, neck, and then down his torso. Her hands wandered his bare back as she sunk to her knees. But when her hands moved to his belt, he stopped her.

"W—wait."

She peeled her hands away and looked up at him. "Are you okay? Do you want to slow down?"

He visibly swallowed, and she could read that look on his face that he got whenever he was embarrassed to tell her something. "N—no, I... I want... the opposite, actually."

"I don't follow..."

"Well, I know that... if you return the favor, I won't last very long, a—and I... I don't want to wait anymore."

Y/N smiled, standing again and bringing her hands to rest on his shoulders. "So you're saying you... want me to move this along?"

Spencer smiled at her recollection of his words. "Yes, please."

They travelled to the bed then, Y/N taking off her shirt and bra when they got there, and leaving her completely bare to him. She sat down and reached for his belt, looking up at him as he stood.

"I'm clean and on birth control, do you still want to use a condom? I have some in my table drawer."

He thought about it for a moment before shaking his head. "As long as you're sure."

Y/N undid his belt quickly and threw it to the side, making work of his button and zipper with a smile. "Oh I'm so sure..."

The way she said it made his dick twitch, images running through his mind of how it would look seeing her filled and dripping with—

Her hand was palming him through his underwear now, and it was all he could think about. He had already been hard before, but now it was tilting on the precipice of painful pleasure. So he stopped her, taking a deep breath.

"Lay down?"

"However you want me," Y/N answered, positioning herself on the bed so she was leaning back, her head nicely laid out on the pillows.

Spencer swallowed and removed his underwear before climbing on the bed and kneeling over her. Her legs were already wide, feet flat on either side of him as he positioned himself and got ready.

She reached out and gently grabbed his forearm, a gentle smile on her face. "You ready?"

"Mhm," he answered with a curt nod, bringing himself forward to run the head of his dick through her wetness. They both sighed at the feeling, and Spencer knew he was in trouble.

It was finally happening, he was getting another chance to have sex with her, and if he didn't last long again, he was going to—

"I love you," Y/N said reassuringly, rubbing circles into the hand that rested on the inside of her thigh.

He looked into her eyes and saw that love radiating from them. It warmed his insides and gave him the confidence he needed to finally, slowly push into her as he whispered, "I love you, too."

Once he was fully sheathed inside her, he let out a large breath, leaning down to brace his arms on either side of her head. The pressure of her clenched around him was overwhelming in the best way possible, and he never wanted to move.

But he had to.

She stroked his hair, pressing soft kisses all over his face, and whispered, "I love you."

With those three words, Spencer had the courage to pull back and then forward again, testing the waters and more accurately, his limits. He picked up a slow pace that burned him from the inside out, every muscle and vein in his body on fire with the knowledge that he was finally, properly making love to the woman he was pretty sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

But he was holding back. Y/N could tell. He glided through her with ease, sure, but his eyes were squeezed shut like he was concentrating, like he was pacing himself and trying to hold on to this feeling.

She moved her hands down to his back and lightly ran her fingernails over the skin, feeling him tremble under her touch.

"You feel so good, Spence," she whispered. "So perfect for me..."

The words made his hips stutter just a little, and Y/N knew then what the hesitation was.

He wanted to go faster.

So she moved her fingers lower, cupping his ass and scratching featherlight circles into the skin as she moaned. "You like when I talk to you, baby? Does hearing my voice help you out?"

Spencer choked out a groan as he opened his eyes and saw how feral she looked. Her pupils were blown wide, her mouth was pouted cutely, and she smiled as soon as she saw him bite his lip.

"You wanna go faster?" she cooed, digging her fingernails a little harder into the flesh of his ass. "Hmm?"

"F—fuck, Y/N... I..."

"You fuck me however you need to, baby. Don't hold back. Just let it all out."

He groaned out then, his hips picking up speed. She felt the relief and the tension rolling off his body as he finally gave into his urges, and it was just about the sexiest thing she'd ever witnessed.

"That's it, baby... Don't stop... Give it to me, let me feel you..."

He leaned down and kissed her then, pumping into her harder and harder with every second. She moaned out against his mouth, swallowing all his breaths and grunts. Meanwhile her fingers gripped his ass harder, relishing in the feeling of his muscles as they aided in fucking her.

His mouth pulled away as he shoved his face into her neck, and she sighed. "You're doing so good, baby. Fuck... " His hips kept moving, and she clenched around him hard, hoping to gauge his reaction.

Sure enough, he groaned against her neck and canted his hips harder. Every thrust forward now was so deep he hit her g-spot, and the sensation made her sigh with a smile. "That's fucking right, baby... Just like that, don't stop, don't stop. You fe—el so... ohhh."

Her words lit this fire in him that was impossible to put out. His body was hers for the taking, and so he'd give her everything he had. Which is why he picked up the pace and fucked into her as hard as he could, dangerously close to finishing.

"Fuck, Spence, I'm gonna... —na..."

Y/n's moans turned into a quiet scream as she came, clenching tightly around his dick and digging her fingernails into his ass. Her eyes squeezed shut with the swirling patterns of fireworks exploding behind them, meanwhile he twitched inside of her and lost it at last. As she came down, she helped him hold himself there, deep inside her as his cum spilled over in warm increments. They both moaned out at the feeling, all their tension easing and dissipating.

By the end, all that was left between the both of them was a thin sheen of sweat and murmured promises of "I love you."

They could have fallen asleep right there. Y/N's hands slid up his backside, over his arms, and then to the back of his head, combing gently through his disheveled hair as he pressed loving kisses to the patch of skin where her neck met her collarbone. He was still inside her, unwilling to leave the warmth she provided, and she did nothing to object.

"How are you feeling?" she finally asked, opening her eyes.

Spencer tilted his head up to look at her, his heart once again swelling at the adoring look in her eyes. "I'm great."

She laughed, and he laughed with her. And they were silent for a few moments before he spoke again.

"So, uh... What we just did is what we're counting as our real first time together, right? Like, the other time doesn't count?"

Y/N laughed again, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "If you want to count this as our first time, then yes. I'd be more than happy to agree with you."

"Good. This was much better."

Even though she would never hold their first first time together against him, she was inclined to agree.

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