#like its meh sometimes but. I do come back to it every so often

[allgremlinart]

Batman drawn by Eduardo Risso

from Batman: Broken City

[mdhwrites]

The Owl House's Problem with Genre

So this is more a general lesson of: You are supposed to set your expectations for something by the genre set forth by it. If you're consuming a tragedy, you need to understand that fundamental flaws in who a character is are going to doom the entire cast. That doom is inevitable for them by who they are as people. However, if a RomCom tries to pull the same trick for angst and sadness, that's when you get the Third Act Breakup in both its good and infuriating incarnates because, well, it's two genres about joy more than pain.

So what does this have to do with The Owl House? Well, it's something that I struggle with as a writer myself because I can blend genres some and that makes it hard to entirely quantify what genre a work is in. TOH has a problem where the genre will often shift between various episodes.

Like let's look at the first episode. Pretty firmly, that is a comedy adventure. It's got some fun jokes tying into the problem, the action is silly and the powers are a bit goofy to play up the comedy even as they're in danger and the show is telling a lot of jokes pretty rapidly.

Jump over just two episodes though and you have the first episode with a comedy B plot. Sure, Eda and King are having a comedy adventure of sorts but Luz? That one is magical slice of life. It's somewhat comedic but calling it an adventure feels a bit like a stretch. Yes there's a fight eventually but it's much more about the societal issue presented and making friends with some cute banter that you'd expect from a light hearted show. The fight is barely a fight and is over quickly so it just... comes across as something you'd see in any magical school show. Not necessarily bad but not in the genre TOH claims to be. Covention is very similar where there's not actually any real adventure element as it just does some world building until its fight scene mostly. Even then, besides a quip, the fight itself isn't funny.

And mind you, SOME genre blending is actually a good thing. A comedy knowing when to slow down for a serious moment is good. Times for a party to breathe in town can lead to great chances for sides of characters you otherwise wouldn't see. There's a genuine back and forth to be had there.

But it shouldn't ALWAYS be contrasting like that, especially with your main character. Luz actually has VERY little to do with the comedy side of the show. Almost always, there's a moment or two in an episode but the majority of the comedy is either through comic relief characters or explicitly through the B plots. She does just enough comedy to get her character across (which is part of why it fades from her so much in S2B) but no more. Sometimes, she's even gone from the adventure elements too because Luz is too caught up in romance or drama or slice of life stuff to even be put in peril, or isn't until the very end. Like Hunting Palisman has a couple cute jokes but it's mostly a serious affair... except for giving Hunter shit. Otherwise, the show honestly treats Luz mostly seriously. She isn't funny to me as much as she is cute when it comes to how she's trying to express herself which is fine for an adventure, much more questionable for something specifically branded as a COMEDY adventure.

But if it's not the greatest comedy, what genre fits TOH? Was it just listed wrong? Well, pretty much EVERY genre falls into this sort of problem with TOH. It's not a great slice of life because it's not inventive enough to make many of these situations interesting. It's most archtypical episodes are considered some of its worst. It's not a great adventure because the action is pretty meh most of the time and there is zero threat to the main characters so there's no tension. No threat/tension means it's also not good horror. It spends a LOT of time on romance but all of its romances are bland and samey and when they are together as a couple, they often struggle to do anymore than fluff. As a drama, there's never any consequences to anything so the angst feels hollow as it just makes an episode feel bad then moves on. And finally, as a fantasy show, its magic is really basic, kind of boring and there's nothing unique to its world or rules that don't make it feel like it's not just the modern world with more teeth and that's not great fantasy.

The best stories know what they aren't as much they know what they are. Genre blending is a good thing but there's a point at which you're just a composite sludge. Master at nothing, impressive at little.

And there is no genre TOH impresses with.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[caycanteven]

Lexverse - Current Skele Head Canons! (Sans Versions)

Since the skele-boy’s are comin’ along on their own, I decided to take some time to describe my head canons of them and their relationship to Lex–to satiate the curiosity as well as remind me of personalities when there are so many bone boys as it is ;3; I’ll also include some stuff they like to do as well.

Sans - Still a lazybones. He often doesn’t get out much and prefers to just stay home if he can help it. Lex and Sans share a common inability to remember things they have to do, so they help each other out. They sometimes go out and stargaze on the roof or watch a bunch of terrible movies on netflix. The two of them together often ends up with a lazy day every day, with occasional “fun” if they run out of movies.

Red (Fell!Sans) - Cocky and arrogant, but easily Lex’s best friend and lover. Not as lazy as his classic counterpart, but he would rather be in his room than around other people. He can’t keep his shoes tied for the life of him and likes how sweats feel over shorts (probably blames Lex for it). Easily pissed off and will argue with you just for shits and giggles. Red makes teasing remarks at Lex while she easily likes to push his buttons too (they will wrestle it out if necessary), but if she needed him, he’d be there in a soul-beat. Their favorite pastime is listening to music, preferably rock, and he owns a white electric guitar he calls “Ivy.”

Blue (Swap!Sans) - Lex and Blue act more like siblings, and she's quite protective over him. Though, while being his second biggest supporter, she is also the one who encourages his outlandish behaviors just to get under Stretch’s marrow. Blue is a great listener despite his slightly obnoxious tendencies. He likes working out and will do whatever he can to try and get Lex out of the house to do the same, but fails miserably more often than not.

Axe (Horror!Sans) - nobody gets her more flustered than the soft spoken, yet very deep toned skeleton,  Axe. He also suffers from short term memory, so two often write notes for each other to remind of important dates, events, or what’s for dinner. Axe is an excellent cook, though relatively humble about it for Paps and Butch’s sake. He focuses on baking in his free time, but when he’s not doing that, he’s enjoying Lex’s company in more ways than one. He is quite smart despite his short term memory, capable of speaking German fluently (mostly to tease Lex) and often reads plenty of fiction. He naps just as much as Sans, but enjoys cuddles more than anything. 

Dusty (Dusttale!Sans) - Dusty is pretty laid back and keeps to himself, but he’s protective in his own way for Lex. While she helps keep his LV attacks to a minimum, he keeps his eyes—or mostly his brother’s—on her any time she goes out by herself. Does Lex know? Meh, he doesn’t know or care really if she does. When he’s not doing work for Nightmare, he spends some of his past time throwing up Graffiti in random AUs; helps relieve stress.  He’s got a big brother vibe going on, and while he may be quiet around others, he always knows how to make conversation with Lex when he’s out for a smoke or it’s drink night. Lex often helps him sleep on rough nights by singing to him, and letting him stay in her room if it’s nightmare levels of rough. What else happens, well, he may not tell you.

Killer (Killer!Sans) - Probably the most dumbest, craziest, and perverted character Lex has ever come to meet—yet whatever this energy he’s got going for him, she’s all for it. Lex and Killer are two chaotic smartasses wrapped up in dynamite with its fuse lit. If Killer finds trouble, he’s dragging her with him. And if Lex gets in trouble? Killer ain’t there to participate (if it’s Nightmare that is.) Killer has made his shot with her before, but Lex often turns him away, not because she isn’t interested, but because he gets absolutely dramatic. It's always funny to see him whine about it. Definitely not because Nightmare would have his head…

Nightmare (Dreamtale) - Nightmare, the dark and brooding guardian of negativity, didn’t take to Lex when the two first met. Though, after an encounter with one of her trauma induced panic attacks, he realized everything she did was simply an act of hiding her own negative aspects. Nightmare, to say the least, pitied her and the two would often congregate in his study to talk about things that bothered her, where the negative energy wouldn’t be as harmful and would sustain him as well. Lex, while her positive expressions were undesirable, was never unwelcomed around him even so. Nightmare won't admit it up front, but he favors her dearly and has genuine care for her wellbeing…and the fact he admires her stubbornness. He’s a bit of a romantic, and if the two are ever alone, he takes his time “appreciating” her, but his jealousy is unmatched. He often will throw Killer into the nearest wall if he sees the two flirting. Sometimes, he does it just cause he finds it funny.

Big E (Error Sans) - First he stole her chocolate; then, an entire box of instant hot chocolate; the last straw was when her favorite pair of sandals went missing. Error, of course, being the culprit, took pride in the fact he got away with it too. Error and Lex didn't quite start off on the right foot when they first met either; Lex shook his hand without realizing he had Haphephobia, sending him into a glitching fit and leaving quite the impression following. Error holds a grudge like nobody’s business, and often steals some of her belongings to mess with her, sometimes even keeping them for himself. He managed to steal a pair of her black sweat pants one day, but they didn’t quite fit, so he had to stitch them up. He prefers to stay in the Anti-Void in his comfy bathrobe where he relaxes on his bean bag, watches Undernovela and enjoys knitting, crocheting, and whatever he can make with string, yarn, or fabric. He has a pair of glasses he stole from Lex, only to find out they weren’t even hers. He doesn't need them, but he likes how they look and makes him feel important. While he has no interest in being anywhere close to Lex, sometimes he tolerates her visits if she promises to watch at least five episodes of Undernovela, stay the FARTHEST away on the bean bag, AND bring him a chocolate milkshake. He doesn’t like her. Not even a little. Nope, not at all…

Ink (Ink Sans)- If there’s one thing Error and Lex have in common, it’s the fact they have little patience with Ink. While he means well, he often fails to read the room. Personal space isn’t a thing for this guy, but it’s easy to fall for his charms and enthusiasm. Lex often engages in conversation with the little bastard mostly to make it up to Error (if they happen to be in the same room). Lex actually enjoys discussing art with him, but she can’t last too long because Ink will forget everything within a few minutes and she’ll have to start over. It’s not his fault, of course, but she admits it can be tough. Though, she has seen his mischievous smile before, and she has gotten chills from it. Whatever he has cooking in his skull, she’d rather not be around to find out.

Lil Man (Edgy Bittybones) - Lil Man was a rebellious bitty who more so found Lex, instead of her finding him. While she didn't want to call him Little Red (Red would have her soul for it) she decided to call him Lil' Man, since he was so adorably small. However, he was also a little shit. Leave him unsupervised, and he would cause all kinds of trouble. Red wouldn't even watch him, it was too much work. So, Lex bought the little guy a tiny CD player and if he was good, he'd get a new CD when they went to the store. Much like Red, he enjoyed Rock music, but he also enjoyed musical numbers too. He's never not hungry, leaving Lex having to buy extra snacks for him so he didn't raid the fridge every week more than once. Even if he is a hand full, Lex loves him, and Lil Man always enjoys ranting about random shit with her...even if he doesn't know what it is they are ranting about.

[rin-and-jade]

I have only one other alter. And we are pretty much ambivalent to each other. We don’t hate each other, we don’t particularly like each other either. Due to this, I feel as though I’m faking because alters are supposed to be formed to help, to comfort take care or in the case of a persecutor to cause trouble. But she and me don’t do any of these things to each other. When she front sometimes I come ba k to realize she got me in trouble but it’s never for the express purpose of getting me in trouble. Even in the inner world void, we don’t talk to each other, just sometimes see each other. It’s also very isolating because I feel so left out of system positivity posts, as they’re always about how much their system supports them but I have one other person and she doesn’t like me. I feel like I. An never talk about or be positive about my system in system spaces. It’s lonely. What should I do? Is there anything I can do? Am I faking? You don’t have to answer every question I know it’s a lot just any kind of answer would be nice.

My guy, you come here to look for answers, i'm here to do my job by answering any and every questions people give to me,, it doesn't matter if its silly or its unimportant because.. i want to do it for you guys. Also bare with this long explanation, i got to...

When people think of the perfect image of a family or friendship, it all varies but the similarity in general (of how i think) is everything being as functional and as happy as possible all the time, right? I wish, that only exists in fiction sadly. It does not work that way in real life (or to an extent) as not everyone can be friends with each other and thats fine.

I hope you would appreciate me telling my own relationships with others-- i'll give you one,, this one's a secondary keeper, it's a he, so in short he and i are sort of "meh" with each other,, sometimes he gets me in trouble or i get him or others in trouble,, we do not click at all in a discussion or in a debate as we got our own opinions and morals. Does this makes us perfect? No it doesn't. Does it also means we're not doing the things we're supposed to? No, we do our work. Even though it is true that parts are created to be of help, its only half of the truth,, and the even trickier thing is if you don't see things from a different perspective, it will make people assume that the "help" has one definitive meaning and form. This is untrue.

If you think of love, what comes to your mind at first,, is it physical touch like hugs? Maybe being supportive? Attentive? Meeting your emotional needs? Physical needs?? If a guardian love its child, it may not be able to sacrifice time to play together or go somewhere and have fun, be it either too busy working to meet your needs or other problems,, does this means the guardian doesn't love you because not being with you all the time? No. Do you wish it talks with you more? Probably yes. If love can comes in many form, so does with help.

Back to my relation with the secondary keeper, we do not fare well with each other and i BARELY talk to him,, but taking account of his or my actions, mutually agree to work together in solving (because i'd just push him away i couldn't care that much) and keeping an eye out of each other is still a form of help, not what anyone would ask for but needed. Do we go along well? No. But sure we do still have our own ways of being a help. It is alright to have fights, to have enemies, to not know each other despite living in one same body for years-- it is also okay if everyone goes along with each other and barely fight and support each other pretty often,, everyone's dynamic look different, so in conclusion, you are not faking for having it differently.

- j

[jacqcrisis]

One of my favorite things in fanfiction about video games is how people work in game mechanics, which is what I would find interesting in a stardew valley fic. Like magic exists, and the farmer engages in it with the totems and the monsters and the junimos and the talking to fucking bears and getting a special boy sword in the desert with a cool rock. That's fascinating to include for a story about a character who comes to town where THE LOCALS DONT SEEM ALL THAT BOTHERED OR THEY JUST DONT NOTICE.

So the character of the farmer is a trans guy who's always been bigger, more chubby, and working a few years in an office job has only exacerbated that even if he tries to eat well and exercise when he can. He generally aloof, kind of weird, absolutely had adhd, nice once the social awkwardness around new people fades, an absolute nerd, and determinedly hard working. Despite doing okay in life, the ennui of the corporate world takes hold and something about his late grandpa's old farm has always captivated and called to him in a way he can't explain so when he finally opens that letter, he quits and buys a ticket to Pelican Town on the spot.

Obviously, the farm is a dump and barely has working plumbing but with a mindset of 'its either this or go back to the office', he sets himself to work, clearing out the overgrown fields and planting what little he can. This is his chance to remake himself after all; no one here knows he's trans, no one here knows he's kind of a goober, and no one here has to know anything more about him than what he lets them know. So he decides to present himself as the cool quiet type when he goes into town instead of the talkative annoying, red headed dweeb he actually is.

During his first month, the locals are kind of meh about him, the junimos make their appearance, the wizard makes him drink the Dank Soup, and some interesting things happen to the farmer's...physique in the following months that is both impossible and has him scared and then jazzed. After the first change, he goes to the wizard for help who calms him down and assures him its probably some kind of thanks/incentive from the forest spirits to keep him on track with helping them. With that, the farmer is even more determined to meets the junimos demands.

While the place is weird and weird shit keeps happening, he’s more than happy he moved out here as the first of his crops come in. The farmer gets settled into the town, meets all the locals, and that is where the second part of 'trouble' starts...(this the self indulgent part which is going under a read more)

It's during the first summer that the attitude of the local bachelors starts to change around the farmer. He's always been reserved, quiet, and yet nice around most of them, so for that first season, most didn't notice much. Yet, as if by magic, the farmer gets a bit taller, broader, stronger, and it becomes a lot harder to ignore him when he's hurriedly walking through town, trying to make it to Pierre's before it closes because he forgot to buy more seeds AGAIN.

Shane is the first to have a new opinion on the farmer. He gets kicked out of Marnies on one of his days off for being a depressive little shit and so he takes a walk half drunk into the woods but ends up on the path to the farm up north. Suddenly, he's doing this every Sunday, starting out sometime at noon with a six pack and all hushed up about what he's doing when Marnie asks which is, in fact, spending a few hours drinking and watching his aloof quiet neighbor work under the hot sun, often times shirtless. It's a late Sunday night in early fall after an awful work week when he works up the liquid courage to hop the fence and see if the farmer needs some kind of hand that has nothing to do with his crops.

Harvey starts having to see a lot of the farmer, especially when he starts going into the mines cause he's getting the shit beat out of him by slimes and bugs. So doc sees him in all states of wear and tear and undress and dear God is it something for the awkward doctor man who's finding out his exact type is muscular and chubby and happy to follow the doctor upstairs for a special kind of exam.

Elliott is listless in his search for inspiration but becomes fascinated by the burly new farmer who comes to the beach every few days to fish and check his traps. An odd man reminiscent of a romantic interest in a bodice ripper who rebuilds the broken bridge and gives Elliot any extra fish or crabs he's caught and who doesn't seem to mind when Elliott sits close by with pen and paper, covertly observing. A storm surprises them one fishing session in the winter and its out of the kindness in Elliott’s heart to offer a dry place to stay until the worst of it passes and if he asks for some personal assistance in garnering a different kind of inspiration, well that’s neither here nor there.

The farmer is seen a lot throughout the town, and someone as athletically conscious as Alex has had a wide range of judgements passed onto the farmer. First, a smug mocking opinion about this overweight, out of shape dude taking over a farm, and then one of amazement as the dude works hard at his job and gains more muscle and then finally, at the spa, something a bit more conflicted as he keeps stumbling upon the farmer disrobed and relaxing from a hard day’s work. Alex discovers a few things, most importantly that sound carries extremely well in the spa, but, thankfully, its just the two of them around to hear it.

Or so they think, as there’s one blonde who’s accidentally stumbled across a few illicit meetings of the farmer's and this latest one at the spa is the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Sam bitches about it to Sebastian the next time they hang out, ranting and raving about how many times he’s seen the farmer inside some guy around Pelican Town. It’s not like he’s homophobic or anything, but holy shit, why is this always happening to him? Sebastian is kind of weird after hearing this, and actually leaves early because, well...

For Sebastian, he's gotten a very different side of the farmer than most everyone else. He's goofy, he's awkward, he's anxious, he can't sit still, he doesn't stop talking, and he seems to love dropping by and handing things off to Sebastian, whether it's food or something neat from down in the mines. At first, Seb thought he was kind of weird but they've become friends due to shared interests and he's slowly realized he's had a crush on the farmer for a while now and has been trying to figure out how to broach that topic or even just find out if the guy is into dudes at all.

Hearing from an annoyed Sam the farmer has literally fucked every other eligible bachelor in the Valley except him is soul crushing. He doesn't know how to take it and kind of avoids the farmer as he goes around to confirm that his friend and crush is indeed kind of a manwhore. The other four dudes confirm it, all of having hooked up with him anywhere from a few times (Alex) to several (Elliot) to a *shrugs* 'I stopped counting two hands ago' (Shane). Harvey isn't forthcoming with a number but it's somewhere close to Shane given how he mumbles something about ‘bi-weekly’.

His confidence somewhere in hell, Sebastian pretends not to care, realizes he cares a lot, gets a little drunk, and goes to confront the farmer...

And yeah. It's story that would incorporate the forest magic and the inherent weirdness of the game mechanics while also being smutty cause why the fuck not. Idk if I'll ever write it, but I think about and refine it whenever I play stardew valley.

[wind-becomes-lightning]

hiii nisiii c:

19. kissing their injuries + kakaobiyama

this reminded me of kissing top surgery scars. and well.. transkashi and transmato could use some kisses from their bito, right

hanna im sorry you had to wait so long for this as I was suprisingly busy this weekend?? and now its also kinda MEH! im sorry! I think when its tree people my brain just cant work that well, too many people to coordinate or idk what it is, I hope you find a little joy in this anyway. again sorry for the delay.

Kakashi dipped his finger in the ointment and carefully applied it to Obito’s face, making sure to rub it into the scars as carefully as possible. Obito watched his face while Kakashi was working, all concentrated on his work. He wanted to say something snarky, but all he could think of was: “Couldn’t Tenzo do that tonight? He is much faster.” 

The opposite man didn’t even move a muscle: “It was my turn.” Then he winked: “Also he might be faster, but I am more thorough.”

Obito bit his lower lip. That they were doing this ritual every evening might have meant that he would eventually get used to it, but the reality of the situation was that it made him uncomfortable each time, no matter how often he had done it.

Sometimes Obito’s scars would hurt. It was a rather odd phantom pain that brought him back to when he was trapped under the pile of rocks for hours, before the Uchiha ghost found him and patched him up. The doctor called it part of his PTSD, but also admitted that scars as deep as his, even after years, could still start hurting. He prescribed Obito a soothing salve that he could apply to his face in such situations.

And while he had obviously tried to figure this out on his own, deal with it without involving his partners, eventually both Kakashi and Tenzo had found out about it . Tenzo had been the one to suggest that he could apply the ointment for Obito, to make sure that all the scars were covered well. Obito had declined back then, but had been ushered to a chair anyway, held down by Kakashi’s arms while Tenzo touched his face. 

Maybe he would have gotten used to it quicker, if not for their ritual following right after the application of the treatment. Both men usually gave it a few minutes to set in, then they would leave light, fluttered kisses on the scars, forehead to shoulder in an effort to relax him, but the intimate gesture just made his nerves fly even more.

That was, he thought sometimes, also why they did it. Because it would fluster Obito and then the both of them liked teasing him, Kakashi more so than Tenzo, which is why Obito preferred the evenings where Tenzo was on scar-treatment-duty. Unfortunately there was no such luck today.

Kakashi set the little case with the salve down and leaned back to look over Obito’s face again. “I think I got it all,” he said with glee in his voice. “Now we just have to wait a little for it to set.” He preemptively put his hands on Obito’s knees so he couldn’t just get up and leave.

Obito was rumbling on the inside, growing tired of Kakashi’s grin of superiority as he just sat there waiting. Sure, Obito liked the kisses too, he just didn’t particularly enjoy not having the upper hand in any situation. And when Tenzo and Kakashi flustered him like that, they always had the upper hand instead.

Tired of looking at Kakashi’s smirk, he instead went on the offence. Kakashi didn’t see it coming at all so Obito could overwhelm him easily with a push of his arms against the other man's shoulders. “Today will be the other way around,” Obito said. “You get to be embarrassed for once.”

Kakashi fell with his back against the chair he had been sitting on, his arms pinned down so that he couldn’t move. He watched with wide open eyes as Obito leaned forward to kiss his eye scar, first above the eye and then below.

“That was sweet, thank you,” Kakashi sneered. “I don’t think it was much of the punishment that you think it was.”

“Just wait.”

Obito pushed Kakashi’s shirt up with one hand while holding him down with the other. Realising what Obito was about to do, Kakashi finally squirmed a little. Of course Obito knew that those were much more sensitive scars to him. He dove down and trailed both lines under Kakashi’s chest with his nose first, before then going back the entire round by kissing each little centimetre of it. Kakashi eventually stilled and Obito could stop holding him down as he made his way back to the other side of Kakashi’s body.

“Well, I guess that did it,” Tenzo said from the other side of the room where he had been reading. “Senpai is very red in his face now.”

Now with a grin of his own, Obito straightened himself back up, his eyes dangerously flickering towards Tenzo. “You are next,” Obito said with a joking growl.

Tenzo almost dropped his book so he could get up quicker, but Obito had already crossed the room to catch him by the wrist. “In the end you can make fun of me all you want,” Obito said, “But you are not different from me, we are all very flustered by intimacy.”

“Right, you made your point, it’s alright,” Tenzo waved with his hand. “We won’t joke about you anymore, so p-”

Suddenly Kakashi was there behind Tenzo, holding him by the shoulders just like he had Obito that first time they had helped him with the ointment treatment. “No way, you can't get out of this.”

And so, despite Tenzo’s assurances that he had learned his lesson, Obito fluttered kisses from his neck to his collarbones and then trailed the scars under his chest, chest just like he had done with Kakashi previously, savouring every little reaction that Tenzo would allow himself to be heard.

“This would probably be easier in the bedroom,” Kakashi said at some point and neither Obito or Tenzo disagreed.

[kusundei]

he confuses me a whole lot.

i watch him and i think why isnt he like this normally? hes a certain way with her and i notice it always, it might just be the fact theyre best friends but youre also my best friends too? maybe im too blind to see it within our friendship specifically or its the yearning and lack that he got from her - the way it was never reciprocated like how i was with him.

i dont know, my feelings switch a whole lot. sometimes he does stuff thats annoying, disappointing, sickening. and sometimes he does things that make me believe im just focused on the wrong bits of him - that i wasnt dumb for falling so head over heels a few months ago and that spark comes back briefly every once in a while , then it crackles and goes out in an instant

i just think ab it alot. hes cute still, charming. quippy, and has a sense of humor. he knows so much but also so little at the same time. he’s cute with kids, supportive often - knows when to act that kind way, and whenever it appears its just like. oh wow. hes still in there. he’s just attractive in a way i cant exactly describe, a charming sense. its strange though because i also fight with the weird thing of like, why am i not like him? and then its also why didnt he like me?

im not one for comparison because it can dig you into graves sometimes, however i find myself comparing myself to her every once in a while. she has her redeeming qualities, shes pretty, funny and people fall for her acting dumb shpeel. shes charming too. shes charming in a way that im not, pretty in a way im not - a girl in the way i am not.

its just like.. meh. whatever i guess. i love my friends, it just pops into my head every once in a while where im like. what was wrong with me? what IS wrong with me? am i too much? overbearing? annoying? am i still annoying? i dont know. ive always focused on self improvement, bending backwards in a way so that others can have it all and it makes me wonder if my efforts will ever work and or be enough. i try often not to be selfish, however i find myself acting selfishly often. its just strange. my opinion of myself changes so often i dont know what to think sometimes, but i battle it by just not thinking about it at all.

i love her, i love her with every piece of myself, i love her in a way i cannot be - an unconditional platonic love where in a way, shes everything i wish i couldve been howEVER i do not regret how i am myself. shes the half of me i need and id give up whatever for her in a heartbeat, genuinely. im not sappy, however i have been making a sort of effort to make that a teeny bit clearer with her. i love my friends and i just think alot

[purplekiwis]

OMG YES! Damaged goods blurb! Can you do a fluff one where one of them is sick with seasonal flu and the other has to take care of them, but they're being stubborn about it because that's just what they do and how they are 🤧

Okay, okay... here she is! It's a bit meh I think, but I hope you like it! 🥰

*

Harry is sick and grumpy, and Y/N takes care of him (from the Damaged Goods AU)

Harry feels miserable.

He’s worse than miserable, really,

because he has a cold… or is it the flu?! He has never known to spot the differences between the two, but he recognized all of the early signs, of course...

As per usual, it started with nothing but a sore throat one morning when he woke up, that ended up lingering throughout the whole day, then came a headache, and the tiredness, and the chills…

It wasn’t so unbearable at first… but the symptoms only kept getting worse and worse as the hours went by, to the point of leaving him with no choice but to skip his classes in favor of staying in bed… suffering.

The worst part about it? He wasn’t even suffering at home – where his mom could be taking her lips to his forehead every so often to see if he had a fever, and bringing him bowls of soup and fruit cubes on that same familiar bedtray that had accompanied him throughout all his periods of sickness.

Mom would also be making sure he stayed hydrated and took his medicine in time... which by the way, he wasn’t taking any. Logically speaking, Harry knew he should have gone to a pharmacy by now, to get something to make him feel better, but how? When he couldn't even muster the will to get up and go downstairs to fill the empty water bottle perched on his nightstand.

He couldn’t move.

Every single inch of his body hurt.

And now he was starting to get shivery under his bedclothes... for fucks sake.

If only he had Pepper, his spaniel mutt puppy, around to snuggle and keep his body cozy and warm like a hot water bag... then perhaps Harry would've been in a better mood. Yeah, definitely. Pepper would've let him bury his snotty face into its soft fur, and not even think to complain if its owner left a puddle of guck all over said fur.

But well, Pepper isn't there.

And being sick sucks.

Especially because Harry really wants some cuddles... and it hasn't been helping his case whatsoever that in this trying day of illness, his mind has done nothing but think of Y/N.

Pondering over what outfit she must have worn that day and what she might be up to while he’s laying there on his deathbed. He also wonders if she has noticed his absence, and if so… if she’s worried about him.

He huffs once he checks his phone again and realizes there are still no messages from her. She doesn’t have to check on him. He knows that, but he can't help that he likes to be cared for sometimes… and as it turns out illness has a tendency to turn him into a big, needy baby... who really wants to have Y/N taking care of him. It would be so good. She could play with his hair the way he likes, give him forehead kisses, hold his hand…

Harry sighs out loud. Her company would be even better than Pepper's, he believes... although Harry isn't so sure Y/N would enjoy having his snot on her as much as his trusty pup would, but that’s beside the point.

It’s even more beside the point because he knows she's not coming to see him.

She’s mad at him, he recalls now. Stupidly so, if he's allowed to think that - he did nothing wrong, after all. She asked him for a “brutally honest opinion” on a design work she was doing for one of her classes, and he simply gave her what she asked for, plain as that. But of course, then she didn’t like what he had to say and got sulky. Just girls being girls, he guesses…

Harry should've known better than to think that would stop her from coming to see him, though. His girl was a little box of surprises, after all... a true master in the art of keeping him on his toes.

She showed up only half an hour after she was done with her classes... softly knocking on his door before poking her head inside with a smile, only for her jaw to drop in shock at the absolute misery that oozed from his pores.

“Y/N…” His voice cracked sickly, almost comically. Harry could have laughed at it if he wasn't so utterly lethargic. “What- what are you doing here?”

“Well, what do you think?” The girl huffed, shutting the bedroom door behind her and heading towards the end of the bed to get a good look at him, hands on her hips. “Why didn't you tell me you were sick? Here I was, going about my day thinking you had slept in for being a bum, only to find out through your friends that you were unwell.”

Harry bit the inside of his cheek, trying to hide his downright amusement at her worried state. Y/N was worried about him? Well then, perhaps her irritation had passed and she had forgiven him… which meant maybe he’d get to have those cuddles he wanted so bad. “I thought you were mad at me?” He poked, eyebrows arching teasingly the best they could with the little energy the muscles on his face could muster.

“Well, I was and am now even more.” She punctuated. “But I still care, obviously. How am I supposed to leave you by yourself when you look like that?” She put down the bag she was holding at the edge of the bed and kneeled next to it on the floor.

“Look like what?” He frowned again. “All snotty and gross?”

“Precisely… and an awful lot like Rudolph the reindeer as well.” Y/N added, with a soft pat to the tip of his swollen, red nose.

Harry smiled at that, right before his eyes fell on the bag over his bed. “Did you go to the store to get those creepy sheet masks you wanted?”

“Huh?” She muttured confused, before noticing where he was looking at. “Oh no, um… these are just some things I got for you. Just vitamins and those gummies for when you have a sore throat, and also uh…” Y/N's cheeks went a little hot. “I got some chicken soup from the buffet restaurant as well, you know… the one next to the drug store. I thought it might do you good…”

“You went to get all that stuff for me?” Harry asked, Y/N hummed happily in confirmation, her eyes gleaming with tenderness. “Y/N... you shouldn't have. That shit is so expensive, and I'm fine, really. It's just a cold. You dont have to worry, let alone take care of me.”

“No offence, but I think I do.” The girl challenged his statement, picking up the halfway used toilet paper roll placed on his nightstand. “For a start, you shouldn’t even be using this to blow your nose. It’ll only irritate your skin and make it more sore.”

Harry rolled his eyes playfully. “That’s such a mum thing to say…” He grumbled in attempt to mask the fact that the secret big, needy baby in him was loving every single bit of the mom talk, and the same applies to when Y/N clicked her tongue chastisingly once he stubbornly snatched the roll off her hand and pulled out some more paper.

She took the chance that he had moved his arm to move a bit closer, sitting on the edge of the bed next to his pillow. “Is there anything else I can do to make you feel better?” She asked, lovingly running her digits through his unwashed curls. They felt a little waxy and knotty in her hands, but she didn’t mind it in the slightest. She just wanted to make him feel better in any way she could. So she kept playing with his hair, scratching at the roots and combing her fingers through his strands just the way she knew he reveled in - only breaking contact once she was almost certain that he had fallen asleep on her... However, as soon as Y/N began to pull her hand away to check her phone, Harry let out a whine and bumped his forehead against her wrist, in a silent request for her to keep going. “You're such a baby sometimes…” Y/N whispered, proceeding to fulfill his wish.

“Mhm... your baby.” He sighed happily.

Y/N smiled to herself at the state of pure bliss Harry was in. So utterly distracted by the slow puffy nature of his breaths, that she almost didnt notice that his droopy eyes had opened and were now fixed on her. He cleared his throat painfully. “Y/N... can I have one of those gummies you got? My throat hurts and I really want to try one.”

Y/N let out a tiny chuckle at the pleading tone he'd used, nodding as she got up to grab the bottle from the bag. She threw it at him playfully to catch midair, knowing that his reflexes were outstanding. “Ohh these seem nice. I love lemon and honey flavored shit.” He told her whilst inspecting the label.

“Yeah?” Y/N couldn’t help but to grin, feeling quite proud of herself for picking the right flavor. But her smile quickly melted into an expression of concern once she watched Harry crack open the bottle and carelessly throw a bunch of gummies into his mouth. “Harry! What are you- that’s not candy! You can’t eat them by the handful!”

“Oi, chill out… it’s just gummies. What wrong could it do?” He asked as he blithely chewed them. Words coming out garbled since he was speaking in between a mouthful.

“Oh, I don't know, perhaps there could be anesthetics in them... but who knows? It was just a thought.” Y/N ironized.

“Really?” He made a wry face similar to hers, inspecting the label closer. “Do you think we can get high on this shit?” He smirked, still chewing as he rolled the container around to check the ingredients in the back. “Cause I'm not gonna lie, that sounds like a pretty good afternoon plan to me...” He half joked, cracking the bottle open again and dropping a couple more gummies in his palm.

Y/N heaved at the suggestion. “I think it’s more likely that you get a terrible bellyache, and we end up in the ER...”

“You really think so?” Harry asked teasingly, taking another gummy to his mouth.

“Okay, that's enough. Give me that.” Y/N demanded, pushing for him to pass the container, but all he did was shake his head with a mischievous, defiant smirk. The girl rolled her eyes at him. “You know what? Fine.” She shrugged. “Eat as many as you want. Can't wait to watch you shit the bed once those anesthetics give you a loose bottom.”

He chuckled at the warning, amused. “If you’re so bothered, why don’t you come get them from me?” He questioned, but before he could prepare himself Y/N jumped on the bed to try and take the bottle away from his hands, what forced him to abruptly sit up and hold it over his head just so she couldn’t reach it from where she sat. “That was... real cute. Is that all you got, hm?”

Y/N huffed and crawled over his legs until she was practically on his lap. Seeing right through his facade once he happily handed off the gummies without putting up a fight and wrapped his arms around her middle to pull her in for a hug instead. “You must think you're so sly, don't you?” She mumbled in question, going back to petting his hair. “If you wanted a cuddle, you could’ve just said so… I don't mind your germs.”

“I was trying to behave to avoid getting you sick, actually…”

“Yeah right...” Y/N grumbled, dropping her head on his shoulder for a moment. “But I guess, since you've already passed me the germs and all... might as well just give me a kiss, no?” She proposed shyly, waiting for Harry to make the move. He did, pulling away slightly and placing his lips in hers softly. “Mm, more.” She pouted.

“Greedy.” He joshed, pecking the girl's lips again, and again... and once more for good measure. The damage was already done, after all... they might as well just keep doing it. “I feel disgusting, though. If I knew you were coming, I would’ve at least taken a shower and brushed my teeth. Can’t believe you still want to kiss me when I am like this.”

Y/N scratched at the frizzy hairs of his nape. “I promise you don't smell or look nearly as bad as you think you do… and you taste like lemon and honey so, that’s nice.” Harry distrustfully scrunched up his nose at her allegation, sniffing up some in the process before his digits rushed to grab some more toilet paper. He took it to his nose, blowing noisily. “Alright, snotty boy…” Y/N laughed, swiftly crawling off his lap. “How about I go downstairs to plate up our soup while you pick a movie for us to watch as we eat? It can be one of those “guy movies” and all, I promise I won't complain... today only, cause I'm giving you privilege for being sick.”

His eyes strayed towards you with interest, the lower half of his face still covered behind the poorly ripped toilet paper sheets. “I was actually thinking more like a musical or a pixar movie, maybe?”

“God, Harry.” Y/N gasped in awe. “I swear I've never felt more attracted to you in my life. Snot and everything.”

[tellmeburrito]

Hiiii! Can I ask for your honest opinion on AL MCL and Eldarya s2? I know that we ridicule, laugh and complain a lot on tumblr, but honestly, at the end of the day I know opinions of maybe 3 plp and just... want to know more. Is it good? Better then previous season(s)? You play for perfect score or really enjoy it? Things like this :)

HI ! Sorry for the wait.

Well, let's start with AL MCL : I've mixed feelings about it. I know I know I cried over 4 years over my Lysander - and it was justified - because I missed him, I wanted him back and now that it’s here I'm like meh.

Don't get me wrong, I still love him. It makes my heart melt every lines. But what I was looking for when I started MCL was the drama and the romance. I had both in . And it was wholesome

Drama in high school : Childish most of the time but could be fun and talk about serious issues sometimes ( revenge porn )

Drama in UL : LMAO IT WAS AWESOME the Castiel ONS ??? GIIIRRRLL there isn't a day without me thinking about Nath and Castiel confrontation over Candy's pussy.

Drama in LL : It was fucked up i didn't enjoyed EXCEPT MY BABY ERIC WHO SAVED THE DAY He said hold my coffee I'm gonna sparkles that girl life.

But in AL?? NOTHING.

I get it, it's not the purpose. And we don't have time ( Only 4 episodes ?? Which are less than 1000 AP? Yes it's a good thing everyone can enjoy it but fuck nothing happens because again WE DON'T HAVE TIME. )

Yes I'm glad for Lysander cute contents, to learn some news facts about him ( But do I really need to spent 5 minutes talking about his house and its imperfections?? ) but fuck, it would never be as good as if he was in UL and LL, i'm happy but FUCK I'm bored.

It nice but forgettable. Like thanks for the moment. But meh.

Because like I said in a post Beemoov will never make me believe that he enjoys this life they want to give you the " Look how happy he is! Look ! " YES IN AL because he's still with Candy, Castiel comes often, they co-write songs together and he still sees his brother, but in UL based on what we're told, he's just alone in his farm hours away from the only family that he has, his only friend, separated from the girl he loved and giving up his dreams to work everyday, a job that sorry but it's clearely not the greatest and easiest one like does Beemoov ever even informed themselves about the farmers situations ?! Like OK he's a lonely guy but fuck that's liking being alone it's being abandonned ! That's fucking bullshit. It seems so fake.

He's only doing this to save his family inheritance!

Also the fact that new episode come out every 2 weeks like Beemoov wants to get rid of it ASAP 💀 They don't even try to look like they give a fuck

Should have let him be in UL and LL like Kentin and Armin. tf how can 4 episodes can compensate for 2 seasons and a wedding for the others.

My experience with those games would have been so different if he was there.

Anyways let's talk about Eldarya.

I don't think I can really talk about it, because I'm not as much into Eldarya as I'm in MCL and like every end of episode I'm like 👁👄👁 Ok anyways.

LIKE ERIKA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGG I HATE HER how can she still be alive that's episode thanks they have the excuse that it's a fantastic game cause that bitch would have die day one.

I NEED TO TALK ABOUT LANCE BECAUSE AGAIN THERE ISN'T A DAY WHERE I DON'T THINK ABOUT IT AND BEING LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

HOW HOW HOW HOW can you kill a LI and replace him WITH HIS KILLER BROTHER

I don't really blame the players choosing him because.. Drama. It's gonna be wholesome and FUCK I hope Valkyon will do an appareance and omfg sorry I can't that's too much.

Also EZAREL??? Like ??? How could he not came back after learning his ex-gf wake up??

I don't know how Beemoov gets their ideas but they need to fired the whole team and hire some people with logics.

Like the last episode how the butler recognized Erika based on nothing but just a random girl in the house, them being chased but still having time to go to a fast food in downtown and explaining every single basic aspect of our world to the faeries

Also I'm mean can they stop making there villains so obvious? Like my man Matthieu mhm mhm that man so suspect he can't even hide it. I mean it was obvious with Leiftan too in season one but at least there was the " plot twist" of Lance / Ashkore.

Also I love how Lance and Leiftan are avoiding each others that hella funny. Like they used to plan on destroying the world together and now they barely look at each others.

Right now I don't know where Eldarya is going but it's seems chaotic. And I want to know how it ends but you know Erika's unbearable dumbness, the 5 min of affection per episode...

I think that I'm just a hater anyways. Because I complain but I keep playing, cause I'm attached to the characters and I love following them in their adventures. I can't help but wanting to know how it will all end.

Anyways I don't even know if I answered your question because I went everywhere sorry, but I would be glad to know your opinion too.

And anyone else who would want to share it 

[wickedpact]

A ranking of all the TTT stories in order of how much I liked them.

(Oh god this is so long)

1 My Mother's Axe

BABY ANDYYYYYYYYYYYY. Honestly this one had the trifecta of developing a character's motivations, developing a character's backstory, & developing their personality. The story starting out with Andy teaching Nile to use the axe was so charming and fun, and you could feel that chemistry they had in Opening Fire, the way they teased and bickered with each other so naturally. I loved the wedge between them on the subject of the axe, how Nile was perhaps a little too young to understand Andy's feelings about whether or not its the 'same' axe. I also love how the axe is obviously the symbol of the franchise and hugely important, but you never get a sense of exactly how important it is to Andy until you read the story.

I love the entire Ship of Theseus theme, and how it feels so natural that for Andy she has to get attached to the idea of things rather than the things themselves because she'll always outlive the things themselves-- the axe is symbolically her mom's axe, even if physically it isn't. And I love how she clearly clings to that concept so tightly. "This is the labrys she held in her hands...." IT GETS ME.

And the fact that this sense of BELONGING, of FAMILY, of CULTURE is so important to Andy that she clings to it (figuratively and literally) with both hands. And of course it's important to her, she spent so long alone that the woman doesn't even remember her birth name. That axe (or the idea of that axe) is all she has left of her mother and that family/culture she was born into.

PLUS on that note I love how Andy doesn't remember if her mom was her actual biological mother, but it doesn't matter to her. This woman was her mother in all the ways that counted. And how her mom BETRAYED AND KILLED Andy but Andy loved her so much that she avenged her and carried her axe for thousands of years. THOUSANDS OF YEARS!!!!!!

I also loved how the story transcends the timeline of the whole franchise and seeing Andy through the years. Loved seeing her with the varying squads and with varying axes. Also baby Andy was so cute. It was cool seeing her so young. like holy fuck. Andromache The Scythian, Immortal Warrior (but smol). Love that.

Also I think this one is one of the few ttt stories that doesn't suffer from length problems.

tldr: goddammit greg you've done it again.

2 Zanzibar and Other Harbors

Zanzibar my beloved. I've said before, but it's downright comedic how little regard there was for Joe and Nicky's character designs in this story. The same person who does the colors for the regular comic did the colors for this one too, and you can tell, every panel of this story was Beautiful.

Ik there was A Lot of criticism of this one (lmao @ how the fandom had no idea what was to come) but I thought a lot of The Discourse was a bit dramatic. I did think Nicky came off as a little oblivious to Joe's feelings in this story, but I've said before, I honestly think that was a 'tone not translating' thing. It felt like Nicky was nagging Joe for [checks notes] saving innocent people, but Joe was so amused by Nicky's complaints I really do think it was supposed to come off as teasing.

Plus I know the 'Joe running off into danger and Nicky reluctantly following' dynamic wasn't popular (I'm a pretty meh on it meself) but I did love how Joe's impulsiveness (if you want to call it that) was interpreted as heroism and not hot-hotheadedness. All of the examples Nicky and Joe talked about included Joe explicitly saving people. (and it also took A Lot for the nazi to actually provoke Joe).

I also feel like their characterization here was closest to the movie canon-- the bit where they hear the woman scream and Joe goes running in to save her while Nicky swoops in on Joe's heels to comfort her while Joe and the nazi were fighting reminds me of the train car scene. Joe had suggested First that they go find Nile because she needed to be protected, and Nicky later added that Nile probably also needed emotional support. Similar reactions.

But it was So Good, the themes of queer community and the enduring nature of queer culture are Not themes you see in media that often and it was such a delight how it was done. Also it's one of the few more modern TTT stories that has a completely valid excuse for taking place when it did. Chef's kiss.

3 Passchendaele

I love the Duality between seeing baby Andy and then seeing Mama Andy in the very next issue. This story doesn't have a ton of meat to it, but the entire concept of Andy adopting a war orphan straight off the battlefield PLUCKS MY TENDER LITTLE HEARTSTRINGS, and I think it's especially poignant for comic!Andy. I think most people wouldn't think twice about movie!Andy doing something like that but comic Andy is so hardened and almost cruel sometimes, and seeing that even for her the world hasn't beaten all of the compassion from her yet is SO!!!!!!! this woman contains MULTITUDES okay, she's violent and angry and tired and Done but she's also so kind and compassionate and THE STRENGTH OF HER!!!!! Also the idea of her and Yitzhak co-raising a kid together is so damn cute. It was #mysterious pre-Yitzhak-story but now it's cute. holy fuck. It's cute.

& the headbonk panel of her and Zeus lives in my heart. anyways.

4 Many Happy Returns

I Know people weren't thrilled about Booker being in this one, but I've developed a pet-peeve about that: this story was *not* booker-centric. Booker only exists in this story to the extent required to explain the importance of the gesture Nile makes towards him. If there was a story about Booker making some grand gesture of kindness to Nile no one would be saying it was Nile-centric. bc it wouldn't be! Booker exists in this story to explore Nile's kindness, its not about him. I saw that a couple times and it bothered me. anyways.

AAAAAAAAAA I loved this one, the art was beautiful, I loved how Andy Nile and Booker were drawn (like their comic selves but.. more looking like actual people). I loved Andy and Nile's Bants, how Andy wanted to jump right in and Do Violence but Nile was basically telling her to hold her horses.

I feel like I'm just repeating the post I made on this story a few days ago, but I LOVED how Nile's plan revolves not around violence or Cool Mercenary Skills but on Nile's own life skills (as she canonly did a lot of minimum wage job-hopping before the marines in comics canon). Her plan used her skills, not the skills of an immortal warrior, and HER SKILLS were in fact more useful for the situation! lov to see Nile's resourcefulness and planning skills.

AND HOW NILE WAS PROBABLY WATCHING BOOKER??? it's so Much bc 1.) nile knew booker A SINGLE DAY and yet he made such an impression on her emotionally that she had to keep an eye on him and 2.) she said in the movie she wanted Booker to get off free with an apology. Yes she's a member of the team but that doesn't mean she's necessarily going to follow orders like a good little soldier. I also love how she convinced Andy to go along with it. her HEART, her KINDNESS, her THOUGHTFULNESS, UGH.

5 The Bear

Honestly I have like no negative things to say about this one other than a.) character design issues which is less about the story itself and is more of a 'tog comic in general' criticism and b.) too short, but it was supposed to be a tease, so.

But I loved Yitzhak, I wasn't expecting to really like him at all but like I said in my other post, he tickled me. I love characters who are Kind™, especially if they have little reason to be so given their backgrounds. Chef's kiss. Lov him.

6 Bonsai Shokunin

I know this one was a little controversial bc of the outsider POV but whenever I see people upset about that they never point out that the Outsider Guy (the samurai) existed as a reflection on Noriko. His ideas are explained in the text to develop hers. The whole story follows how she gave mercy to a scared young man and in response he murdered Noriko, repeatedly! Who gave him the right to inflict such pain and suffering on the world? In his opinion, the lack of response from the gods was his permission. And for Noriko-- over and over again she dies and suffers because she gave mercy, which lines up with her ideas in FM about how it's their fate to rule mortals and if they don't align with that plan/fate/whatever then they suffer. It shows some background to those ideas and how they developed in her mind outside of Ocean Madness™. Additionally, his idea of 'the Gods have done nothing to strike me down so it's fine if I do these things' kind of explains how Noriko may justify her own morally corrupt actions-- she's died so many times and it's never stuck. Maybe if she did die any of those times, or while she was in the water, maybe that would've been a sign she was doing something right, or at least doing something normal. But she hasn't died. Fate isn't done with Noriko yet. And maybe there's a reason for that. In her mind, it's just not a very pleasant reason, is all.

There were things I was kind of meh about tho. I did kind of wish we saw something of Noriko and the team, or smth explaining the way she was before her dip in the pool-- personality, likes dislikes, etc. but it wasn't bad or anything. It was super vague tho, I had to read it a few times before I got what it was going for. Liked the art. Liked the bonsai metaphor. And of course I Respect the decision to use the 1300s (1200s? I don't remember off the top of my head) rather than using the last 200 years.

7 Strong Medicine

Honestly looking back, this one made me kind of sad because both this one and Bonsai Shokunin explored character's ideas on Fate and The Divine and how that intersects with immortality and I totally thought that theme would be continued, especially with Love Letters. But Then It Wasn't™.

Admittedly.... I had to re-read this one to remember most of it. I liked Booker's ideas on God, 'The conductor of the symphony just may not be very good at his trade' but the plot itself was kind of forgettable. Some fuckin cowboys try to kill a doctor (their second) because he couldn't save their sickly brother. Book tries to stop them, gets killed, and then comes back and kills them all before they get the doctor. Alright. I liked the artstyle because the characters were ugly in a similar way that leandro's are, but way more bearable.

I love the Irony of Booker concluding that there is no such thing as fate or destiny and nothing has meaning, AS HE UNKNOWINGLY SAVES MERRICK'S GRANDFATHER FROM BEING KILLED. Booker getting fucked over by life/god/destiny yet again. It also kind of explains about where the fuck hell Merrick's interest in immortal mercenaries even came from.

I originally had this one a lot higher and then I thought about it and moved it down like two spots.

8 Never Gets Old

I liked seeing Booker interact with his kid. And we got a name for the kid! Philippe was a little bitch though, he was a little obnoxious. I liked how Booker was so thrilled to experience a restaurant with his kid (and since we know he was there before, it can be assumed he went with all of his kids and yet he was so charmed each time). It fits with his line to Nicky in the moon landing story about how you don't appreciate beautiful things 'unless you have someone to share them with'. It was charming to see Booker interact with his kid, and to see him so happy. Also lmao @ Booker's big fat Ye Olde Crush on Andy.

However at the same time it was like.. of all the things to write about,,, I guess? Booker's Night Out...... alright. Especially since Book had so many stories.

I don't know, it was alright. The old man killing him really came out of nowhere, (but the 'Salut, asshole!' panel was funny tho).

9 How To Make a Ghost Town

I've hit a point where talking about these stories has gotten less fun. I liked this one but I felt like Achilles getting lynched was not really necessary for a story that was already tragic (a story that already involved Achilles doing a lot of suffering at the hand of bigots). When we first got the blurb for this story I thought it would be about Andy returning to the squad and making friends with Booker after losing Achilles and them butting heads on the idea of family and when to cut off ties. So a little bit of my underwhelmedness about this one might be just my expectations being different.

Honestly I was pretty interested in Andy and Achilles' relationship and I would've liked to see more of them-- like, what was their dynamic like? What did they love about each other?

But anyways Andy leaving and Achilles getting killed anyways feels so pointlessly tragic (which I suppose is the point..... I don't like tragedies) she left to save him and yet people killed him anyway. Meh.

I did love the bits about Andy wanting to have a domestic life (Andy and her multitudes again) and the little detail about how she buried her axe near the road but he buried his guns under his bed-- he was an escaped slave, he never had the luxury of assuredness like Andy did. It was a sad story.

10 Lacus Solitudinis

'You put this one above love letters crim??? how could you???' easy, lmao.

There was stuff in this one I liked. But to talk about stuff I didn't like: (I'll keep it brief, I know ragging on this story has been done time and time again)

UH, setting aside the 6 year cold shoulder between Joe and Nicky, I thought their chosen method of conflict resolution was... bad at best. Nicky's inability to talk about his feelings was also annoying, especially since the entire point of this story is a fight Joe and Nicky had, and yet we don't get both sides to the story, which is...... important? That fact is especially annoying bc in the absence of Nicky explaining his side of the story, it's absolutely a possible (and admittedly probably unintentional) interpretation of the text that we do get that Joe routinely resolves conflict between him and Nicky by simply cutting Nicky out of his life entirely until Nicky just. caves? Even if it takes years?

WHICH i could get into that interpretation and how fucked up i find it. but im not going to. out of restraint.

I don't know, I think there are a lot of interesting ways to go about this conflict but 'Nicky wants to kill a guy and Joe refuses to acknowledge his existence until he stops because he thinks Nicky is too much of a Good Boy to get his hands dirty like that' ('I wont watch as the world turns his (...) compassion into something ugly'. ) wasn't.. how I would've done it. (I mean you know Joe doesn't give a shit about what Nicky is doing in a moral way, because Joe doesn't even care or mention that Booker is killing those cops too. Joe only cares because he doesn't like the idea of Nicky changing in a way he finds undesirable.)

admittedly I've said before, I do like the emphasis Joe's reaction puts on Nicky's kindness. Joe has a complete inability to cope with Nicky simply Not Being Kind. It speaks to the steadiness of Nicky's compassion all those years. but still that fact doesn't make it the conflict feel worth it

hm. I said I would be brief and I wasn't.

oh well. basically I thought there was interesting conflict potential there but it wasn't done the way I would've liked, and the way it was done leaves a lot of disturbing (and again probably unintended) interpretations to lie.

What I did like? Andy and Joe having that pessimist/optimist dynamic. Joe nerding out about science. Andy not being impressed by The Achievements Of Man. I loved Booker needling at Nicky about his outdated slang and also trying to give him Older Brother advice practically in the same breath. I loved Booker giving The Worst relationship advice ever and Nicky being like 'I Will Not Do That, Ever, Thanks.' the family vibes were so good. The Joenicky vibes left a lot to be desired tho.

11 Love Letters

I talked about my problems with Nicky in this story (and Lacus Solitudinis). I don't know, the story isn't bad but I do hold a little bit of a grudge towards it because its very existence begs the existence of a solo Joe story and we didn't get one. If we never got this story, then we could happily count Lacus Solitudinis and Zanzibar as The Joenicky Stories™ and move on with our lives. sigh.

I remember when we first got the blurb for this story I was really curious about why Nicky specifically + the setting, and the answer kind of feels like 'the author had an idea for a story like this and saw ttt as a good enough place to utilize that idea'. Plus I was really underwhelmed by the Romantic Sentiment in the letter. If you look at it line-by-line, the majority of the letter is actually Nicky talking about how lonely and disturbed he is, rather than actual,, yknow,,, Romantic Sentiment. I mean, compare the van speech and this letter and this letter is just kind of meh in comparison. I liked nicky calling joe wise! and I liked the brief sun/moon metaphor! and otherwise it was eh. It didn't even have cute squad banter, which is why Lacus Solitudinis is above this one.

12 An Old Soul

Nun orgy. Nun orgy?????? Nun orgy.......

The whole story felt like a setup to have a nun orgy. Why did Booker have abs? Why did they do that to Andy's nose? ?????? the art was good at least.

nun orgy.

[im-frickin-trying-okay]

Random BNHA Headcanons

(This is my first time doing this 😭)

Summary: A bunch of random BNHA headcanons. So, basically the title. The only reason I’m adding a read more is because I want it to be easier to navigate my page, lol

Bakugo is oddly nice when he first wakes up, but he's not exactly a morning person. He's less "I hate the world, why am I awake???" And more like "I'm extremely comfortable and the only thing that can ruin my mood is becoming less comfortable." He likes hovering between awake and asleep, y'know? Which is why if he's sleepy, his guard drops. When leaving the dorms, if he hasn't fully woken up, he goes from "outta my way, shitty-hair," to "mornin' Eijirou," and by the time he's actually aware of what he said, Kiri's already freaking out. If he's in bed all day for any reason other than being sick, he's probably soft for at least a few hours.

Kaminari's the type to wake up at 2 AM with an idea, go to jot it down, and then realize that he wrote a ten chapter book and now he's late for class. He'll probably put it into a google doc or something, so he can continue to add onto it throughout the day. I also feel like he probably will also randomly get a question and then spend hours researching it and any surrounding topics, before rambling to Kiri about "bro, if I went to the beach, I could make a bunch of glass! Probably! Maybe!" And then have to try and convince his friends that he can just make windows if anyone needs them.

Sero had added moves to his skill set, and practiced particular actions, with the sole intention of mimicking Spiderman. When Kirishima questions him on it, he compares Spiderman to Crimson Riot. They have a conversation that's essentially fanboying, both of them saying "we are not bringing All Might into this," and then more fanboying.

Jirou has an extremely eclectic music taste. If you can name a song, she probably knows it. She can memorize full melodies and all the lyrics within two or three listens, because she's just that good. Some people call her the human Shazam, because if you play the first five seconds of a song she likes, she'll immediately know what it is. She's also called out artists if they made a clear rip-off of a much better song. Her music taste is all over the place, which therefore makes it superior. However. This does not stop her from listening to the same six songs on repeat for a week. The six change a lot, though.

Koda has trouble with bugs, especially big ones. They scare him. But he has pretty much no issues with tigers, lions, horses, or even wolves. He loves animals, he really does. If you just showed up at his doorstep and shoved a bear cub in his arms, he wouldn't really question it, because he'd be happy to have a cute animal to play with.

Todoroki believes himself to be the opposite of moody. His definition of moody is switching emotions for no reason. He, personally, doesn't feel any emotion until something happens that day, be it a thought or an event, and his emotions stay fixed like that until something else happens. He could be having a great day, and then suddenly, it's a horrible day, and he can't figure out how people just "get over it." He does, however, find that unless something REALLY bad or REALLY good happens, his brain does a little emotional reset when he goes to sleep. Like, go to sleep feeling down, wake up feeling kinda meh.

Kirishima has considered re-dying his hair. Come on, hot pink is so manly! How could he not consider it? But he eventually resigns himself, because red just is his color now. Also, I feel like once, before dorms, he was really out of it, so he went to class with his hair down, and this was the first time anyone had seen him like that, and everyone was just confused as hell. Especially Bakugo. "Your hair's less shitty today. What the fuck."

Uraraka takes part in stupid bets all the time. Partially for the fun, and partially for the profit. She once floated Bakugo to the ceiling for 26 minutes before she had to put him down, because Kiri said that if she survived, he'd give her a dollar per minute. She ended up having to go to the recovery girl's office, but at least she got her money.

Mina is one of the few people who can understand and keep up with Deku's mumbling. This is not because she specifically tries to, (like Uraraka) or because she's known him long enough, (like Bakugo.) She's just used to gossipping with Hagakure at 4 AM, and therefore can understand high-speed low-volume speech. She's called him out on things before, but only when she's interested. She completely tunes out things about All Might and heroes and whatnot, but if he ever has anything to say about his classmates, specifically about Uraraka, Todoroki, and Bakugo, (because she, Hagakure, and Denki placed bets,) she hears every word.

Iida secretly loves to break the rules. He acts strict in front of anyone who he respects, or wants respect from, but after he thinks everyone's asleep, he relaxes, doing things that he considers rule-breaking without any remorse. Denki heard someone walking around outside while on one of his late-night internet searches. After finally willing himself to break away from an article about pandas, he popped his head out of the door to find Iida sneaking around. After some silent observation, Denki realized that not only did Iida just get back from breaking curfew, but he casually stole Hot Cheetos from Bakugo's room on the way back to his dorm. He said nothing the next day, at least not directly, but he sorta shoved Sero and Iida in the same room so that they could be bad influences on each other.

Despite it being a major part of her quirk, Hagakure almost never feels invisible. She has a lot of friends to talk to, she can wear cool outfits to stand out, and she is always talking. The only time she's not talking is during stealth training, and when she's using said stealth training to spy on people.

Tsu's little "ribbit" thing is actually just for fun. It feels right to do it, so she does it. Nothing wrong with that. However, pretty much everyone else assumed it was a part of her quirk. It took an insane amount of convincing to get that idea out of their heads. Deku was proud to be one of the few who never actually associated it with her quirk. He could prove it if he wanted to, actually, but that would require showing someone his notebook, which would open a whole other can of worms.

Oh yeah, speaking of Deku's notebook, he has multiple. Six to be exact. One is on his fellow classmates, one is on most pros, one is on the LOV, one is specifically on All Might, one is on his own quirk development, and the last one is a narrative of what's happening in his life, which is why he's constantly thinking as if he's telling a story. He mentally narrates everything that happens in his life, although he sometimes wonders if he's dramatizing things because of that. His internal monologue is constantly running its mouth, and sometimes he ends up speaking over it.

Tokoyami really likes plague doctors. He just does. He wants a plague doctor mask so he can walk around with less judgement, or maybe more, who knows? He just loved the concept. He claims that they're just really cool, which most people agree with, but he's never told any of them that he likes them because he saw a plague doctor mask for the first time at the age of six, and immediately thought bird man.

Sato likes baking, but he can't cook normally to save his life. Well, he can, but he can't. He hasn't burned water, and he knows how to do the very basics, but he can't function without a recipe, not to mention the fact that he's googled how to saute mushrooms three times and still doesn't get it. Baking comes pretty naturally. Exact measurements, precise times and temperatures. Cooking does not. Eyeballing ingredient amounts, guessing if the flame is high enough, trying to figure out how often 'stir occasionally' is. He actually once asked Bakugo if he had advice, to which he responded, "Why the hell are you asking me?!"

[sgstories123]

Neighbours Help Each Other

When Mr Lim opened the door of his flat, he saw his neighbour, Charlene outside her flat kissing a teenage boy in a white junior college uniform. One of her hands was fondling the front of his trousers.

“I am going to miss you and the little one.” Charlene muttered softly to her boyfriend before realising that Mr Lim had just walked out of his flat. “Oh, hello, Mr Lim.”

Mr Lim smiled at Charlene and her boyfriend. He turned towards the common rubbish to throw away the bag of rubbish in his hands.

Mr Lim had been neighbours with Charlene for several years. He had seen how she had grown from a young girl to a sexy teenager. Now in a junior college, he had seen her often in her uniform in the mornings where she would sit in front of her flat, wearing her shoes. Sometimes, she will spread her legs too wide and he would catch glimpses of her panties. He was not sure if Charlene knew that he was stealing glances at her but he knew that Charlene was confident of her sexuality. He had seen her bring home too many boyfriends and had behaved too intimately with them, especially during the afternoons when her parents are not at home.

Mr Lim threw his rubbish in the chute and walked back to his flat. He caught a glimpse of Charlene’s boyfriend as he took the lift down. Mr Lim smiled to himself. He was right. This was another new boyfriend as he had not seen him before.

As he walked towards his flat, he saw that Charlene was still at the door. She was smiling at him, seemingly waiting for him. He had not realised earlier but Charlene was wearing a white tee without her bra. He could make out the dark nipples, protruding through her tee and the shape of her breasts. He wondered if she was wearing panties under her black FBT shorts.

“Mr Lim, are you free to help me? Some of my stuff fell off the top shelf of my cupboard and if you could help me, I will like to put them back properly.” Charlene asked.

“Sure. Why you never ask your boyfriend to help you?” Mr Lim made his way into Charlene’s flat.

“He needs to rush for his basketball game.” Charlene responded as she led Mr Lim into her room

“Basketball game more important than pretty girlfriend, meh?” Mr Lim teased. “If I were him, I will drop everything to please my princess.”

“Mr Lim! I did not know you were such a flatter. So this is how you got Mrs Lim to marry you.” Charlene laughed. “Anyway, my boyfriend was the one who made the stuff fell off the cupboard in the first place.”

“So, he is doubly guilty. Make things fall and don’t help you put them back.” Mr Lim looked around Charlene’s room. He had been to Charlene’s flat several times but never in her room. He saw a single bed that seemed to be slept in recently, with the pillow and blanket placed untidily. He saw a tall cupboard with several books on its side. These must be the things that Charlene wants to put back in place.

Charlene had produced a short stool ladder. “Can you hold me so that I don’t fall off.” She went up the few steps and Mr Lim had her round ass in full view. “Mr Lim, hold me quickly or I might fall off.”

Mr Lim woke up from his stupor and held onto her thighs. Charlene’s skin was so smooth that he had to control his urge to run his hands all over them.

“Can you hold a little higher? Maybe hold my buttocks? I need to reach higher.” Charlene suggested.

Mr Lim held onto Charlene’s round, firm ass. It was heaven to touch something so sexy even though it was covered by a pair of FBT short.

“Mr Lim, can you switch around to the front and hold my waist. I need to reach further out and I don’t want to fall flat on my face.” Charlene took another step up the ladder stool.

As Mr Lim moved to the front, he looked up and saw the bottom of Charlene’s naked breast now exposed through the bottom of her tee. As Charlene moved, he could also catch glimpses of her erect nipples. Mr Lim was aroused. He was trying hard not to stroke his hard cock just looking at the pair of young breasts.

“Er, so how did your boyfriend made the stuff from your cupboard fall off.” Mr Lim tried to distract himself from his naughty thoughts.

“Ha ha! That idiot was trying to fuck me against the wall and he got so excited that he hit the cupboard and everything fell off.” Mr Lim regretted asking the question. Now he is only more aroused as images of Charlene and her boyfriend fucking each other started playing in his mind.

He tried to look away from Charlene’s breast by looking around the room. He saw the untidy bed and guessed that must be another place of action. He thought he saw dark patches but he was not sure if he was imagining things. Then on the bedside table, he saw unmistakable evidence of what happened earlier. There were two used condoms, with white sperm still in each of them, trapped by a knot at the end of the condoms. There were also two condom wrappers, an unused condom and the packaging for a 3-piece condom. Sex was everywhere in this room.

Charlene stepped down from the ladder. “Thanks, Mr Lim! Now everything is back in place.”

“Er, not really. You should have thrown that. You shouldn’t leave these around.” Mr Lim pointed to the condoms.

“Oops. I had forgotten about that. But I usually don’t throw them away.” Charlene replied. “I keep them as tasty snacks.” Charlene picked one of the condoms up, untied the knot, turned her head upwards and using her fingers, pushed the sperm out of the condom and into her mouth.

Mr Lim watched Charlene as she sexily gulped down her boyfriend’s sperm. By now, he was horny as hell. Before he realised it, his hand was already stroking his hard cock through his shorts as he watched Charlene.

“Oh, are you hard? Shall I help you since you helped me, Mr Lim?” Charlene bent down in front of Mr Lim and without waiting for an answer, pulled down his shorts and underwear in one swift stroke.

“Oh my God! You are so hard. Your cock is definitely bigger than any of my boyfriends. I knew an older man would have a larger cock. I am going to so enjoy this.” Without another word, Charlene swallowed Mr Lim’s cock, curling her tongue around it, enjoying the warm rod in her mouth. It was much larger than any of the cock that she has sucked so Charlene took time to get used to it. As she got more familiar with it, she was able to get more of Mr Lim’s cock into her mouth. She could feel it reaching into the depths of her throat.

As Charlene bobbed her head on his hard cock, Mr Lim held onto her head, enjoying a young girl sucking on his forty-year old cock. He closed his eyes, enjoying the pleasure that was emanating from his cock to every part of his body. As Charlene worked on his cock, he could feel his orgasm approaching.

“I am going to cum.” He whispered softly. Charlene did not stop but continued sucking even harder and faster. She squeezed the base of his cock, increasing the pleasure for Mr Lim. “Arghh!” As Mr Lim lost control, he ejaculated streams of sperm into Charlene’s mouth. Charlene was sufficiently experienced to know what was coming and swallowed the jet of hot cum as quickly as she came, finishing with a final suck and licking off any remains on Mr Lim’s dick. When she removed her mouth from Mr Lim’s cock, it was clean except for a thin layer of Charlene’s saliva.

“That was a huge load of tasty cum. Have you not been fucking Mrs Lim lately?” Charlene laughed with a little twinkle in her eye.

“Not really. We don’t have sex that often now.” Mr Lim confessed. “Sorry. I am not sure what came over me. I should not have done that.”

“Are you sorry? Then make it up to me.” Charlene looked at Mr Lim with a serious look.

Mr Lim was worried. Is he going to be blackmailed for having sex with his neighbour? “What do you want me to do?”

“Fuck me.” Charlene took off her tee, finally revealing her breasts fully to Mr Lim. She took off her shorts as well and as Mr Lim had suspected, she was not wearing any panties. She laid down on her bed spreading her legs and revealing her slit, surrounded by a thin and small patch of pubic hair.

Mr Lim was unable to control himself. His cock was hard again. He moved towards her bed, picked up the last unused condom, tore it open with his teeth and rolled the condom over his hard cock. He pushed a finger into Charlene’s slit, only to find it already wet and inviting. Without further invitation, he spread Charlene’s legs further apart and placed himself between them. He guided his cock into her cunt. Even though she was so wet and had just been fucked by her boyfriend, Mr Lim still found her cunt tight. He inched slowly into her, enjoying the tightness and warmth of her cunt.

Charlene was moaning in pleasure as Mr Lim’s large cock entered her. This was a man’s cock, larger than any of her boyfriends. She could feel her vagina walls expanding as the cock slowly entered her. There was an edge of pain to the pleasure which made it even more exciting. She clenched the bedsheets tightly as she allowed the pain to subside and the pleasure to take over.

Finally, Mr Lim entered Charlene fully. He could feel their bodies connecting. He looked at Charlene. Here was a sexy young girl, moaning in pleasure as his cock engorged her cunt. He felt a sense of invisibility, he felt like Superman. As Charlene becomes more accustomed to the size of his cock, he started moving, pumping her first slowly and then increasing his pace. As he had already ejaculated once, he was able to last much longer and enjoy himself a lot more.

Charlene was moaning, louder with each thrust as she enjoyed Mr Lim’s fucking. As Mr Lim increased his pace, the frequency of the waves of pleasure increased as well. She was soon screaming in pleasure, all other sensations were numbed except for the pounding in her cunt. She felt herself growing weak from the intense orgasms that she was getting.

“I can’t take it any more, Mr Lim. Oh, please. I can’t take it any more.” Charlene gasped. Hearing that, Mr Lim quickened his pace, emptying his load into the condom and collapsing on top of Charlene. He kissed her on the lips and hug her tightly.

Charlene was relived that it was over. It was just too intense and her cunt was so sore. She remembered about her snack, and pushed Mr Lim off her. She rolled his condom off expertly and quickly tied a knot to secure the sperm.

“Thanks for the snack, Mr Lim.”

[vivithefolle]

Not sure if you already talked about this. (I’m pretty sure you have) but someone seemed to notice that when the trio get into fights, Hermione’s always in the right. Even when she’s supposed to be wrong she always seems to be half right. That kind of bothers me. Especially since it’s evident in the whole Scabbers situation.

I have indeed, on Quora, so let’s move yet another answer of mine to Tumblr!

Hermione is seldom wrong in the Harry Potter books. Sometimes she makes mistakes but those mistakes are either completely swept under the rug or downright ignored.

It’s partly due to lazy writing and partly due to Rowling’s own growing bias in favour of her Author Avatar that was fuelled by Steve Kloves, the primary advocate of the Hermione Granger Is The Perfect Girl Ever line of thinking (an utterly ridiculous line of thinking mind you).

Lizo: Steve, Hermione is a character that you have said is one of your favorites. Has that made her easier to write?

Steve: Yeah, I mean, I like writing all three, but I've always loved writing Hermione. Because, I just, one, she's a tremendous character for a lot of reasons for a writer, which also is she can carry exposition in a wonderful way because you just assume she read it in a book. If I need to tell the audience something...

JKR: Absolutely right, I find that all the time in the book, if you need to tell your readers something just put it in her. There are only two characters that you can put it convincingly into their dialogue. One is Hermione, the other is Dumbledore. In both cases you accept, it's plausible that they have, well Dumbledore knows pretty much everything anyway, but that Hermione has read it somewhere. So, she's handy.

Now this, right here, is the exact core of the problem.

Rowling herself admits it: if she wants the readers to have information, she puts Hermione in the scene. Hermione is our primary means of exposition because, like *grits teeth* Sssssteve puts it, it’s easy to assume that she’s read about it somewhere and it makes sense.

That’s all well and good but at first, if you notice, Ron also gave us exposition about the wizarding world, mostly about its culture. He was able to recall the exact year of the Wizarding Confederation that outlawed dragon breeding in Philosopher’s Stone! He explained what were respectively a “Mudblood”, a “Squib”, and Parseltongue, Hermione doing a little exposition about the history of that last one! He was also able to identify Sirius, after being dragged into the Whomping Willow, as an Animagi!

But then Goblet of Fire happens and you can notice the first change that will exponentially grow through the books: instead of Ron, pureblood Ron, born-before-the-end-of-the-war Ron, lived-through-the-aftermath-of-the-war Ron, identifying the Dark Mark, it’s instead Hermione, muggleborn Hermione, lived-as-a-Muggle-for-most-of-her-life Hermione, has-no-idea-about-the-emotional-impact-of-the-Mark Hermione who looks terrified as the Dark Mark shoots into the sky!

And it only will get worse, by the end of the series, Hermione pretty much knows about everything the plot needs her to know, instead of having to work with things she knows but can’t always apply to the situation:

Suddenly has a deep knowledge of Magical Law (in the will of Dumbledore’s chapter, while we had Rufus Scrimgeour who could have provided it to us, or to a lesser extent, Ron could have explained how a wizarding will basically worked)

Is suddenly an expert at finding edible plants and mushrooms. Apparently books are always the goddamn answer in JKR’s world, you can literally learn anything from them

She can decipher all the Tales of Beedle the Bard (may I remind you that they were written in Runes, okay Hermione may have a few years of Ancient Runes education BUT I once tried to translate a 3k+ story I had written for fun, from French to English, which means I knew what the subtleties and intentions were, I knew which turns of phrase I had to preserve so it would make sense in the end, and it still took me two gruelling weeks to get a satisfying result!)

Has suddenly grown a sense of quick-thinking (escaping Xenophilius’ house, using the jinx to make Harry’s face weird-looking) despite it being the only remaining flaw she had at the time (remember when she turned her back on her enemy while he was still conscious just to compliment Harry, and almost died as a result, even though she had been training in the DA to learn how to fight Death Eaters?) Quick-thinking under pressure can be learned, but it takes time and a lot of work to force your brain to override its instinct - and it’s fine because we’re all human and different. But no suddenly Hermione is the Greatest Strategist Evah™ and those silly boys (who actually were the original quick-thinking ones, and one of them was established as the strategist early on) better be grateful for this literal goddess because she protects them from all harm with her superhuman brain.

Somehow knows about Quidditch stuff - she knows about a Snitch’s “memory-touch”. Why should she give all the answers? Why can’t Ron give us this particular tidbit of information?

And then when we come to something Ron actually knows, the damn narration itself goes “woah a book that Ron has read but Hermione hasn’t??? shocking!! incredible!! Ron is not dumb, somebody call the news channel”. But… is that really so surprising? We’ve never seen Hermione read wizarding fiction or even Muggle fiction. We’ve never seen Hermione with anything other than schoolbooks in her hands. Of course Ron has read books she hasn’t read since she doesn’t seem to read fiction at all!

Sorry, bit of a tangent over here.

There are only two characters that you can put it convincingly into their dialogue.

So, that’s one part of the problem: the fact that Rowling, after making Ron our insight into magical culture and Hermione our provider of knowledge, ended up saying “eh whatever I guess Hermione can tell us everything we gotta know because it’s more convenient for me”. Which is a decision that was not based on Hermione’s character, but simply lazy writing. Long story short, it probably went: “Could Ron explain this bit of trivia? Meh, better make Hermione say it cause she’ll have read it in a book. It’s convenient and I won’t need to bother myself with exploring Ron’s characterisation.”

(And thus completely forgetting that Ron could maybe ask his big brothers via owl and provide us with a good heap of extra advanced knowledge - Bill is supposed to have aced his NEWTs after all.)

The other part of the problem is quite simply that Hermione is more often than not, either painted as a victim by the narrative (which makes more people take her side, classic manipulation tactic), or made to be right anytime it’s about a plot point.

Hermione’s mistakes are never explicitly stated, corrected, or even pointed out as being unethical.

Hermione only gets one mistake expressedly pointed out as being a mistake: her misadventure in Polyjuice Potion. The rest of them? Even her crush on Lockhart can’t be counted as a mistake - people get crushes all the time, based solely on physical appearance, it’s not something awful or terrible (Except when it’s Ron who crushes on someone. Ron crushing on someone is absolutely forbidden, and he must be punished with much ridicule and humiliation if he thinks he can get away with not worshipping Hermione like the goddess she is. The nerve of him, really.).

Throughout the books Hermione eventually morphs into Rowling’s Powerful Angel of Vengeance, that punishes the people who dared to do something she disliked - Rita is silenced but at a very ethically dubious price; Marietta gets scarred for life because she was more loyal to her mother than to a bunch of people her friend insisted she hang out with; Umbridge is led to a very, very alarming fate that is never made clear but some people have ideas and they’re not all very kid-friendly; Ron first is “helped” without knowing it because Hermione can’t be bothered to have faith in his capabilities, then when he fails to dutifully reward her for “helping” him, she causes him bodily harm before actively bullying him for not mind-reading her interest in him; causes even more bodily harm to Ron because that’s how feminism works; etc.

Hermione’s mistakes are always justified through the plot itself (which is lazy writing).

Turning into a cat? Only affects her.

The Firebolt? Scabbers? Well, in the end, it was really sent by Sirius Black and Crookshanks really wasn’t the culprit. Therefore all the feelings that were hurt and all the trust lost are irrelevant because Hermione was right all along.

Trying to free the house-elves? Well, it’s the intent that counts, right? And we’re never told enough about house-elf lore to know whether they’re poor brainwashed victims or powerful Penate-like symbiotes who need to serve a wizard to survive?

Kidnapping Rita Skeeter, trapping her and blackmailing her? Rita may be one foul little beetle, but that’s going a bit far, isn’t it? Harry approves? Oh, well, I guess it’s okay then…? A main character can’t have a dubious morality, right?

Manipulating Harry into forming Dumbledore’s Army and forcing him to relive a traumatic event with the same woman she’s kidnapped and blackmail and that she knows he hates? In the end, it all works out for the best and Harry’s hurt feelings don’t matter since it’s all about the greater good.

Using the centaurs to get rid of Umbridge (which poses the highly distressing question of what did the centaurs do to her?), realizing that the centaurs aren’t nice little horsies that are going to gently obey her every orders like good Disney princess’ companions, my goodness could this be an opportunity for character growth - nevermind, here comes Grawp the Giant Ex Machina, saving her arse and protecting Hermione from all that scary possibility of introspection. Thanks, Grawp Ex Machina.

Trying to dissuade a highly stressed-out and irrational Harry from rescuing Sirius by telling him exactly what he needed not to hear, a.k.a. “you have a saving people-thing” which causes Harry to completely go bonkers and go save his godfather without thinking twice? Well she was right after all, it was a trap! Nevermind how mind-boggingly insenstive and inadept at dealing with someone else’s feelings she was being, she was right! That means it wasn’t Hermione’s mistake!… probably. (Geez, I’m sensing a pattern here…)

Endangering Cormac’s life (Confunding him WHILE HE’S ON HIS BROOM) to promote Ron’s success? Oh but that’s so romantic! (Yeaaaah, how romantic to display exactly how much faith you lack in your crush. Top it off with a broken neck and that’s a picture perfect first date!)

Assaulting Ron with magic and causing him even more scars than he already had? But he was being cold with her first, right? And he totally should have known she was asking him out! It’s not like her invitation was even worse than his attempt to ask her out two years earlier! Plus she’s just a teenage girl expressing her emotions, anyone who tries to find fault in this is a disgusting abusive misogynist pig! Ha!

Getting all jealous that Harry is better than her at Potions, then pretending she’s not jealous by claiming that TEH BOOK IS EVIL, HARRY, and giving him the cold shoulder too? But no, she’s right, look, Harry used Sectumsempra and he almost killed Draco, nevermind that he’s very horrified about it! Hermione was right, like she always is!

Hermione Obliviating her parents, which pulls her from the “ethically dubious” zone into the “wow okay I’m pretty sure that this counts as a violation of basic human rights” zone, makes her one of those quirky wizardfolk who have the privilege to control those simple-minded Muggles because it’s for the greater good? But nooo she’s crying about it so it’s obviously very sad and angsty and it shows her devotion to the cause!

Splinching Ron while fleeing from the Ministry? Eeeh, but he’s fine, they’ve got Dittany, he’s good as new!… blood loss? Anaemia? What’s that?

Hermione was wrong about the Deathly Hallows not existing? Um, um, that doesn’t matter, LOOK DOBBY IS DEAD AND HARRY IS BACK TO LOOKING FOR THE HORCRUXES!! Therefore Hermione was right, the Hallows weren’t important for their quest, therefore the Hallows might as well not exist, HERMIONE WAS RIGHT NO REALLY I’VE GOT RECEIPTS -

The books never forget to remind Harry and Ron of their own shortcomings and moments of weakness.

Harry’s wrath and recklessness cost Sirius his life. This is the lesson he has to learn from his entitled behaviour in OotP: actions have consequences, and the greater your responsibility, the greater the cost will be.

Ron’s envy and insecurity lead him astray; they’re used to humiliate, ridicule and torture him throughout the books. They’re supposed to teach him that he’s worth something - but how is he supposed to believe that, when nobody ever tells him he’s worth anything? When nobody ever apologizes to him? When his feelings are taken for granted over and over? When his two friends seem to discard him whenever he does one thing wrong?

Hermione is never punished. Hermione is never said to be wrong, never shown to be wrong, never called out on her behaviour. From Prisoner of Azkaban to mid-Deathly Hallows, she stays exactly the same character. She doesn’t grow up. She doesn’t learn. She doesn’t change. She has virtually no character arc.

The only time, THE ONLY TIME IN SEVEN BOOKS, the only time we have something remotely resembling a call-out of Hermione’s horrible behaviour is with this sole quote in HBP:

Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge.

Note how it’s about “girls” and not Hermione in particular, which implies that any girl would do what Hermione does to Ron. Thanks for the generalization, JKR, but I like to believe I’m actually a decent sort of person that doesn’t resort to petty cruelty and exploits my friends’ insecurities whenever I’m angry with them.

Hermione NEVER has to apologize. Hermione NEVER has to learn from her mistakes because she’s always presented as a victim when she really isn’t. Hermione NEVER develops into something more - she’s emotionally stuck at fourteen years old. Even less than that when you consider that her reaction to Ron’s return in Deathly Hallows is to trash him with her fists - and she was going to get her wand!! The utter psychopathic b- wanted TO THROW BIRDS AT HIM AGAIN!!! - and this reaction is an appropriate one for a four-years old girl, but certainly not for a supposedly “mature” seventeen-years old.

(Yes, because what separates a child from an adult is the ability to reign in your emotions and not succumb to your impulses. Exactly what Ron did when he left the tent (notice that he had drawn his wand, then he left before he could start hexing Harry), he left to calm himself down. Exactly what Hermione fails to do when Ron returns (she has the impulse to strike him and immediately succumbs to it, which proves to us that The Brightest Witch Of Her Age has all the maturity of a very small child).)

All of that, on top of the awful portrayal in the movies which removes all of Ron’s characteristics to stuff them into Hermione and turns her into some impossible epitome of perfection, eventually contributed to the portrayal of Hermione as the one who is always right and knows everything.

Add to it JKR’s own ridiculous bias (“Ron was quite emotionally immature compared to the other two”, yeah right I don’t see him trying to force freedom onto unwilling creatures or making Harry fly into an irrational rage with mere words but you do you, Jo) and the sexist misconception that “girls are innately more mature than boys”, and you get yourself this apparent behemoth of righteousness that was literally the sole reason why those two silly boys survived everything, and don’t you dare criticize this angel of perfection OR ELSE.

[astrovian]

the official ranking of Claude Becker outfits

the official ranking of Daniel Miller outfits here

the official ranking of Adam Price outfits here

all Claude Becker outfits & rankings under the cut

we all know RA looks good in a suit, blah, blah, blah

after two of these rankings, this outfit is the physical embodiment of a yawn

I do appreciate the patterned tie to change things up a tad even if I’m not into the pattern itself. the intent is there, just not the execution

I will give props to the team for giving Claude a patterned dress shirt here (you have to squint a bit on the second image - more on patterned dress shirts later), but they really should have upped the game a little - change the tie & be less subtle with the shirt pattern

and I ask you, does Claude Becker not strike you as a man who would insist on at least a pocket square with his suits?? dream bigger stylists

3/10

@whoever stores old movie props if these weren’t disposed of immediately after filming i will pay you for a copy of one of these

putting aside the hilarious social commentary and fucking literal writing on this magazine cover done by some poor prop designer at 2am (”How to starve artists and other capitalist things”, as well as ”Claude Becker rolls up his shirtsleeves and unties his tie and puts on a vest and casually hangs his hands from his pockets” etc.), this is a nice change-up that made me question why we don’t have RA in just a waistcoat and dress shirt more often

also that tie pattern? fab. I love it. that is how to do a patterned tie. I hope we all know RA looks good in a suit, blah, blah, blah is paying attention

that being said, minimal points because we don’t actually see Claude wearing it in real life

4/10

where, oh where is my polo shirt? oh look, it’s right there

is there any RA character who is not afflicted with a polo shirt? not recently, apparently

I genuinely thought that it was a dress shirt for a moment which had me disappointed at the banality but then that turned into utter devastation as I realised we actually are looking at a long sleeve zip up polo shirt

the draping of the coat? phenomenal and what really brings this entire thing together

the long/three-quarter sleeves? the zip-up rather than buttons? better than one can normally expect from a polo shirt... and then they went and added stripes to the collar and sleeves?? regret

could be a lot worse but could ultimately also not be a polo shirt as well 4.5/10

could have tried harder during lessons but was a pleasure to have in class

I’m sure you all know my long-sleeve shirt obsession with RA but I made a promise to be honest with myself on these lists. the only feeling this outfit evokes is a ‘eh’

the equivalent of a middle slider 5/10

the Claude you’d actually have a fun day with

there’s something about RA in a hoody that just bangs. good lord I also have a weakness for those forearms

I also thought for a good moment these were dark jeans, but they disappointingly turn out to be sweatpants? however, it has made me think that we need to see RA in some darker denim shades more often 

this Claude is could have tried harder during lessons but was a pleasure to have in class but with just a little more fun and class to boost it *just* outside of the ‘eh’ zone

5.2/10

now this is how we do a long-sleeved shirt

I think it’s been fairly well-established by now that loose, long-sleeved RA is my ultimate weakness, so it’s nice to see that Ocean’s 8 is also making a concerted effort to murder me

also Claude’s obsession with sweatpants is giving me life

this is the Claude you make pasta with. and that pasta would be damn tasty, too

5.9/10

come hither

just-woken-up Claude is made 100x better by the bed head hair and the sleepy gaze

this man needs to get back into bed for a snuggle (preferably with me)

I can’t decide if I’m into the loose boxers or missing the tighter Adam Price undies. either way, it’s definitely not a bad aesthetic. and it reminds me, like dad chic Adam Price, that we don’t get enough of RA in shorts

I feel bad assigning numbers to a a shirtless one BUT Claude does transform into being fully-clothed in this scene so I’m going with it 6.4/10

you can kiss my hand anytime

the blessing of this film is not only the visual assault of attractive actors from all sides and genders, but it also instigates in me the thought that RA is wearing printed dress shirts and I can’t remember the last time I saw this?? I never even realised how much I need to see a lot more of this kind of look on RA until we were blessed with this vision

look at those lil’ elephants!! adorable. I hope Claude has a closet full of these with different animals on them

this outfit was so good, RA even wore it in his behind-the-scenes interview

7/10 for a printed, suited dream

the Claude you take home to mom & dad

god, it’s even better without the suit jacket

this is my honest appeal to the powers that may or may not be to put RA in more printed dress shirts

7.6/10

sometimes I think I should be more ashamed of myself

I feel like I need to preface this one thusly: okay, but like hear me out for real this time

I know this is ultimate hipster white-dude look and RA plays into that character so fantastically with Claude here. I mean just look at his expression. something about this whole look makes me want to simultaneously punch this man in the face and also take him home with me

this is a man who you know is a mistake before you make it, but choose to follow through anyway. he’s that last shot of tequila or the 5th glass of wine. you know you would go for him too. don’t even try to deny it

is the high ranking because of the novelty factor? is it because I’ve never seen RA wear a beanie like that and honestly the infamous running Daniel Miller could take notes? is it because I can’t take anyone who wears a beanie like that seriously?

all we do know is that I also can’t believe this is so high on the list

7.8/10

the moment we all learned Claude is 100% a bottom

one of the most iconic Claude moments in the film. RA plays the ‘dumb horny idiot’ character so well in this scene

not so into the pinstriped suit jacket but the hoodie peeking out from underneath combined with the thin scarf makes it for me

8/10

question: how may teeny-weeny scarves does Claude own, exactly?

who could forget the iconic moment when Sandra Bullock nearly shivs RA?

we have another printed dress shirt and I am HERE for it. it even has birds this time!! nice to see that Claude is not just a land mammal sort of man

I will concede that this is the sort of pattern that few men can pull off but RA is making it work and I am living

8.7/10

I’m not sure I can make a comment on this one that is even remotely appropriate except for “I told you Claude is a bottom”

safety first, buy some proper restraints for the bedroom please Claude/10

 modern royalty au Thorin

this is the moment that every single Hobbit fan went “hell yeah, now I have the perfect new aesthetic for my modern royalty Hobbit AU” (as an avid lotr/hobbit fan, I am not joking here)

RA looks like royalty here because he should be. please sign my petition to have RA usurp the British Queen

for real though, that baby blue sash is the 1000% perfect added touch to this suit and we love RA in a baby blue. a decent (and clearly successful) effort to match the faux Met Gala theme: European royalty. however, it is also pretty accurate re: the imaginative effort that most men have with altering their Met Gala outfits to fit that year’s theme

we need more RA in ‘modern royal’ roles for the #aesthetic and also so that he can dress like this more often

9.3/10 for a princely (or dare I say kingly?) figure

James Corden looks so gleeful running after Claude that it makes me happy. I get it, James. I get it

there’s really nothing spectacular about the general outfit here - except for the swagger RA is giving this

pants? shirt? boring, meh

check scarf? a brilliant switch up from Claude’s normal thin scarves. 

the popped coat? now we’re cooking

the sunglasses and wind-ruffled hair that screams “I’m hungover but I still look effortlessly handsome”? delectable

the dogs?? the best set dressing one could ask for

the attitude and ‘I’m too cool for you’ swagger? priceless and what makes this the second-best outfit of the whole film

9.6/10 this man could punch me and I would be grateful

hot diggity dog, someone get me Claude’s handcuffs

from the front view, it could be argued that this outfit (well, technically it may not really be a separate outfit as it’s the undone version of modern royalty au Thorin), while fairly exceptional, does not first place make

however, someone had the idea to shoot RA from a side angle in this and for that I am eternally in their debt

it’s all about the tease with this one. the glimpse of the suspenders (and holy shit, RA in suspenders was not a look I had thought about before). the way the waist coat hangs off Claude’s chest like that, just enough to make its presence obvious. the cufflinks. the delicate pocket watch chain.

if previous outfits on this list have been all sex and swagger, this is the foreplay. the subtle strip tease.

10/10 

[fiora-miriel]

Once again... mixed feeling when reading. I enjoyed the writing style, I rushed  through it in like 2 days or so. 

Also, I basically wrote this in 20min after putting the book down. So there are lots of feelings involved.

Nikolai: Prince Perfect comes to save the day

He is a fun character. A bit of a deus ex machina in my opinion, the handsome, intelligent prince, disguised as a pirate, sorry privateer, who has done so so much in his life (I mean how, he is not describes as that old) who knows how useless his father and older brother are and now wants to become king himself. And while privateering and what else he is doing is also an inventor. (He reads a bit like a male Mary Sue, but he is fun). I get that he is painted as the more intelligent, "light" equivalent of the Darkling, but come on...

I think Stormhound as a character on its own could have been fun as such, but combining making Nicolai into Stormhound? Not sure. Also: Where does he get his resources from?

The problem with Mal

I didn't like him very much in the first book, and it continues in this one. He is presented as Alina's big love, but they way she describes her interactions leaves me so cold? It feels very non-feeling to me? He is also very antagonistic. Towards the darkling, of course, but also against Nicolai. And sometimes Alina. Just for the sake of it. Him flirting with basically every woman and then still coming back to Alina? Him and Zoya?  Red flag 

Him wishing kind of (Or Alina interpreting it that way) that she wishes she still were a powerless little girl he can defend? Red flag

Him fighting Grisha and regularly winning? What is he the Ravkan equivalent of Superman?

He seems to wallow ins self-pity for so much of the book. 

Also, what is the reason for making him the human equivalent of kittens? Why does it seem like everyone likes him, wants to be friends with him or go to bed with him?

Alina's journey or whatever

I read in another review that Alina Starkov reads occasionally like Bella Swann, just with a different supernatural vibe around her. And hell yes. It feels that way, maybe it's the POV, maybe the self-doubts, maybe the co dependency thing with Mal, maybe the inability to read the room and the non observing the world around her, maybe something else... Character development: Alina does not want to be a pawn any more! Yeah! But does she succeed? Meh. She wants to head the Second Army at some point, but why? To oppose the darkling? OK, but what else? As it is pointed out in the book by the tsar, she is very young to lead an army, and she also doesn't have much of military experience. She also has no clue and finesse to navigate court. I still don't really know what Alina wants, what are her goals? Yes, it is told from her point of view, but I feel we barely get to know her character. Just her superficial thoughts about what happens, with a bit of an opinion in there. She still often only reacts instead of acting and while she is the main character that should be driving the plot, she is driven by the plot.

Darkling: or the darkest man who ever darkened the earth I have to confess, I was so bored. And also angry. It is alluded sometimes (and yes I know 1st P POV is unreliable) that he has planned so much of that for centuries... but it doesn't feel like it. I would expect someone who has lived so long as a commander of an army, hidden and re-emerged so often and worked at court so long to have more political finesse. Also, the evilness is so tropy that it hurts sometimes. Hunger for power? Sure, could you have been any more obvious with a villain? He could have been so much fun, but he remains a clichee. 

And that thing/connection between him and Alina? What is the purpose? What is the origin? Their powers? The stag? Something else? Whyyyyy? Why does Alina never tell anyone about it?   So many questions here.

He has also dedicated most of his life for a safer life for the Grisha, and then he slaughters most of them (in the Little palace) just because he can?

Additionally, the Darkling is build up to this mighty powerful creature here who controls the nichevo'ya against whom there seems to be no weapon except Alina’s powers. I’m curious to see how they get out of that predicament because it feels a bit difficult to see an out here in this book. His powers are basically endless, or almost endless, so how should they win against him. Will it end in a battle between him and Alina alone, because only they are equal to each other?

The love triangle or square... or whatever Alina - Mal - Nicolai - Darkling It lacks the nuance and the subtlety to really be anything. Or sensuality (yes it is YA, but yes it could have been done better without being explicit in any way). Mal --> see above Darkling --> See above Nikolai --> see above Without any lovey dovey stuff itmaybe would have been better? 

On the other hand, Alina is becoming kind of randomly cruel (threatening to cut out people's tongues?), maybe she and the darkling should just be miserable together.

That end battle

Where was the build up to it, where were the clues except for vague stuff like “We think the darkling is in Shu - No in Fjerda - he will be coming, we have to defend ourselves”. That whole moment with Vasily and the alliance to Fjerda and the immediate attack? There was barely any build up, tension whatever. The Darkling destroying David’s invention immediately. Why build it up and then just do that?

The confrontation with the Darkling: Alina had another Bella Swann moment and wants to sacrifice herself. Great, it kind of fits with what we know of her character. But once again, she is just going with the flow? Also, how does she suddenly understand her power and the darkling’s power? And why is he suddenly afraid? 

Telling Mal, that she has always loved him? After pushing him away and pining for him over most of the book? It left me very cold. 

Tamar and Tolya working with the sun soldiers and the Apparat - Alina girl, you should not trust anyone any more. Also, Nicolai should not trust them. The played you for most of this book. And that whole sun soldier/Apparat storyline has potentially opened another “front” in the book and made everything even messier. 

That underground tunnel system that just exists and barely anyone seems to have known about it until this point in time? How? People gossip, people discover things. The darkling had a network of informants, as well as other spies etc. How can no one have discovered this before?

All the little things I cannot fit everywhere else<b/>

Inconsistency with the magical system: Some Grisha are now able to do heartrendering, healing and tailoring in similar strengths? The shadow creatures, how do they fit into the magic system? Where are the consequences for using merzost?

I like Fedyor a lot, I hope he is not dead, but he probably is. 

Zoya - so much potential, but also why does she turn from mean girl to kind of supporter here? Why is she so high and mighty even though she is also not much of a noble woman? What is her purpose? Just to be Alina’s rival when it comes to Mal?

The whole timeline is weird? They are in Novi Zeym (are there no Grisha there??), the Darkling comes and is evil, and then they are on the ship. And boom they are in Ravka again for how long? The whole timeline of this book (and Shadow and Bone is so muddy)

Cruelty for the sake of cruelty? 

The darkling attacking Mal and Alina in Novyi Zem

Nicolai’s story about how he got the stormhound title

Most of the Little Palace dying

 Genya’s mutilation just to show us how cruel the darkling is

Timeline --> I don't get it, is there one?

Why the random inclusion of Russian - for titles, ok, but otherwise it is gimmicky

The Apparat and religion in the book(s) overall: Of course, the Apparat turns out to be a major creep

So much potential for conflict that is barely used: Court intrigues, Vasily vs Nikolai, The Apparat/religion, the problems between grisha and non grisha...

What about the wars at the border? Have they suddenly disappeared

Baghra: loyalties? I don't get her. Her plan to get Alina out of the country in book 1 was shit as well as her motivation and this just continues here

Botkin: Supposed to have been an instructor at the Little Palace for ages, and he still speaks broken Ravkan. Oh please? 

Unnecessary scenes - Nadia's brother, The Gritski party with the Apparat mysteriously appearing and disappearing - yes to tell us he has Morozovas journals but it felt gimmicky and a bit forced? And especially with Alina etc dressing up as Suli fortune tellers and then mimicking some accent? That scene where the darkling makes a shadow Mal to kiss Alina - very rape-y

Why were they included at all? They hardly drive the plot

To sum it up

It is a tropefest once again and for me, it lacked nuance, with the way everything was painted as either black or white (shadow or light). While the writing style is fun and engaging, it heavily suffers from 2nd book syndrome. And the characters (Alina and everyone else) lack depth and nuance. And yes, once again the POV writing explains a lot of that... but then we should at least get character depth with Alina. It could be said that we have character width, but not depth? I still like the whole concept of the world, and I will read book 3... but it will probably be a hateread (except if book 3 surprises me completely, but at the moment I don’t have hope for that).

And I’m pretty sad about it because there seems to be so much potential here, but it remains so flat. Fanfiction to the rescue?

I have Six of Crows and also Ninth House on my TBR pile as well, and I hope those are better. Because I feel there is so much good potential in Bardugo’s writing. 

[algernoninwonderland]

Miraculous, intertextuality and why referencing other works all the time isn’t necessarily a great idea

TL;DR: Miraculous loves itself some pop culture references, they’re in the show all the time for you to enjoy, especially if you’re a big nerd.

Only, making a list of references and trying to replicate what other works did before yours doesn’t make your show good by association, and when it comes to Miraculous, these references seldom do these original works justice. Instead, it makes comparing these other works with Miraculous really easy, and the comparison is rarely flattering.

Miraculous would be a much better show if it tried to be its own thing, a few scenes are just that and they are great. It’d be a wonderful show were they not so few and far between.

Miraculous is made by nerds, as is the case with most cartoons. The show itself lets you know that right away. It’s a pastiche of magical girl anime and Silver Age comics, it uses a lot of their visual languages, and references its other inspirations a lot, for instance:

The name of its fictional locations, (Françoise Dupont is a regular kid with a masked detective alter ego named Fantomette, Marinette’s address is a reference to a French illustrator who often drew a talking ladybird)

The way its characters look (Master Fu is both Mr Miyagi from the Karate Kid and Muten Roshi from Dragon Ball, when akumatised, Mme Couffaine becomes basically Captain Harlock and her houseboat becomes the Arcadia) 

Sometimes entire scenes are references to other works (Aurore’s akumatisation is straight out of Utena’s Dark Rose Saga, “Gorizilla” has a King Kong pastiche). 

You could fill an entire Wiki with all the references in Miraculous if you wanted to. If you paid me well, I’d do it myself.

Wearing your inspirations on your sleeves is a double-edged sword, really.

On the one hand, you showcase the things that inspired your creative process, a way to say, “hey, that show/film/book exists within a landscape, it’s the heir to such and such work”. You acknowledge that you owe a lot to your predecessors, you acknowledge that there’s no such thing as a 100% original thing. That’s a great act of humility. 

And intertextuality conveys meaning, too! Let’s take a very mainstream example. When you notice that ha! The pod-racing scene in Phantom Menace comes from the 1959 movie Ben-Hur for instance, you get the sense that you understand the cinematic masterpiece that is Episode 1 a bit more. It tells you that your movie about space wizards owes a lot to other genres, and that it transposes these genres to another setting, space! “It’s Ben-Hur, in that that slave kid is pod-racing for his freedom, but I gave it my own spin,” George Lucas tells you. “Look, the funny Gungan stepped into that space cow’s poop! Haha, sure hope I’ll sell lots of toys and buy myself some death sticks!”

You feel really smart when you get a reference, too! “Hey, that’s a Dezaki effect right there!” “Wow, is that a robot from Castle in the Sky in Age of Ultron?” Likewise, if you don’t recognise the work being referred to, you might get curious about it! References send back to other things and your knowledge of these things and when you get it, it feels nice. Lots of people discovered Utena thanks to Steven Universe and that’s really cool, and these references add to the meaning of the cartoon! Folks who casually got into RWBY but didn’t know Soul Eater and Cowboy Bebop heard about those shows and many others while discussing RWBY and I’m sure lots of them got into anime thanks to RWBY!

On the other hand, by being so open about your sources of inspiration, you expose yourself to criticism, especially in the case of your work being compared with what inspired it: it might be seen as derivative, or even worse, unable to do these previous pieces of media justice by only retaining and replicating their most superficial elements without a great understanding of what made them work, gratuitous fanservice for nerds.

And I’m not quite sure where Miraculous stands. Oftentimes, it feels more like a Spider-Man/Kamen Rider crossover with bits of outdated shoujo manga and superficial wuxia sprinkled in there than a show at least trying to be its own thing.

And the problem is, Sailor Moon is better at being Sailor Moon than Miraculous could ever be, as it uses its visual language better, and it has a tiny thing called “the main character having a group of friends who aren’t props and a plot you can follow” that is the very reason why people liked the manga and anime in the first place. Miraculous only retains the very superficial aspects of the manga/anime and of the genre. Marinette still trips over a cat in the opening. Because that’s how it happens in Sailor Moon. Her characterisation as a civilian screams “Usagi Tsukino but more stressed out”.

Spider-Man is better at splash pages than Miraculous because ML’s CGI is pretty meh when it’s not in motion, these weird filter effects don’t look great, that only works when you’re Into the Spiderverse and have comic-book aesthetics. Queen Wasp has a whole sequence that is just that scene in Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 2 only this time Queen Bee sabotaged a metro on purpose to stop it. It’s not an awful scene, it carries its point across rather well (Chloé is a selfish nerd who thinks she can be like these comic book characters but truly isn’t fit to be a hero) but the original did it better, it was more impressive, there was more tension to that original scene, some really interesting camera and foley work that made you feel the weight of that train. It didn’t feel cheap the way that scene in “Queen Wasp” did.

Utena’s Black Rose Saga explores the psyche of some of its secondary characters the audience is already familiar with, with problems we could already identify within them. It offers an examination of the storyworld from another point of view, and helps build it further. There’s always a proper buildup before these characters have a mental breakdown in an moody elevator with a butterfly pinned on the wall that turns back into a chrysalis, because the characters are going through a kind of regression that makes them easier to manipulate and turn into “villains” while acting out their true desires in a twisted way. “Stormy Weather” has most of that, an elevator with dramatic lighting, a butterfly and a mental breakdown, but the character is all new to us so it’s just not that impactful. Often, that one secondary character who’ll get transformed has had spoken lines, yes, but that’s only minutes before they get akumatised.

“Kinda the same but a bit worse and missing some of the key aspects of what made the original thing so good” isn’t much of a tribute, is it?

In an earlier post, I stated that Animaestro was basically “I have watched a lot of animated shows and I know how to mimic them, the episode”. It told us nothing about animation as a medium except that it’s cool sometimes and that you get to imitate other people who are much better at the things they do than you are. 

It’s not a clever metacommentary, it’s just “me likey moving pictures”. Good for you, I guess… Did you really need an entire episode to make that point?

And then you’ve got all the bad outdated shoujo tropes with characters falling on top of each other, aggressive flirting (harassment, really) from Adrien portrayed as really sweet and romantic because it’s just like in the shoujo manga (which one?) you see… And that’s just not great, is it?

Miraculous is a much better cartoon when it doesn’t try (and fail) to emulate other shows and movies and comic books and manga. The only thing it tells us about these works is that That Guy and co really like them and that copy-pasting them is the best way they’ve found to show their love. Imitation and flattery and all of that I guess.

“Look, it’s like in that scene in the anime! Did you like the anime? It sure was a good anime, and if our show makes you think about it, then it’s also good, right?”

No, you guys, I’m sorry but no. If making references was all it took to be good, then gaming webcomics would be regarded as masterpieces. 

Very often, the show seems interested in being anything but itself. And it’s a shame, because there are lots of ideas the show kind of brings up but never quite touches. Marinette is interested in fashion design? That’s great, show us more of that! Make it an important part of her character, and by the same occasion, make her creations look not-laughable. Miraculous could be the first cartoon to explore what it’s like to be a biracial kid with a Chinese parent in France (would that work with a crew of almost strictly middle-aged white men is another question to which the answer is a resounding “no”). The show is set in Paris? Cool, how about exploring the city outside of its landmarks every tourist and their mom already knows?

Inexplicably, in the middle of an episode when you expect it the least, you get brilliant bits of directing that aren’t references to other works. Alya becoming Rena Rouge and her first steps as a superhero? Brilliant, really immersive, loved it, not a reference. The sad car scene in Puppeteer 2? It’s really really good, not a reference either. All the unexplored lore? It seemed really promising and having more of it would help us understand things a bit more!

People don’t just like your show because it reminds them of another show. Why watch it if you can watch that original work in the first place?

Trying to make a superficial mashup of all things you think are great in other works is not the way to do these works justice, nor is it the way to make your show interesting, let alone good.