#the art is worth reading it for but I feel like some people might hate this art lol ((I love it sm....))

[allgremlinart]

Batman drawn by Eduardo Risso

from Batman: Broken City

[qaanngi]

Scrolled to 2020 to try and update the file for Theo's birthday pic (HBD to him 💙) and that really was such a wonderful period for me in terms of drawing 🥲

[obae-me]

I have been asked to expand on the MC with trauma scenarios, and you know what, I need the comfort, so let's do it! (No these are not based on myself, I don't know what you're talking about....)

Also I've seen a ton of people's responses to the last one and just know that I am spiritually patting you all on the head and wrapping a soft blanket around your shoulders.

--

MC with ~Trauma~ PT 2!

Imagine an MC who has been mocked, berated, or criticized for their joys and hobbies. They don't do those things anymore or go to great lengths to hide them.

They never share their writing or their art with anyone. They are surrounded by demons and angels much more talented than them. The thing that they felt they were moderately talented in is below average compared to these beings... Everything they create is hidden in secret digital folders or kept in notebooks under their mattress or tucked in secret spots on their bookshelves.

They never sing or dance or play their instruments. They almost avoid the music room altogether. It's almost too painful for them to think about. If they attend a dance they just stand off to the sides... They don't participate in karaoke. They don't hum to their favorite songs.

They hardly cook, or garden, or read, or edit, or color, or knit, or crochet, or embroider, or anything else that they might enjoy.

Imagine some of the nosier brothers not realizing the pain that hides behind their passions and either playfully spying on them or digging up their secrets. Their hearts are fully destroyed when their human breaks down in tears. Now, every single day, every character encourages them to do what they love and giving them private time and space to do it in a place where they feel safe. They all hope that maybe one day MC will feel comfortable enough to share what they love with them but they will never pry it out of them, and all the while giving them the support they need behind the curtain.

Imagine Satan, Levi, and Mammon grouping together and creating a PowerPoint presentation. With Satan's organizing skills, Levi's technological know-how, and Mammon's morally grey skills of espionage, they gather all the characters together and teach a class on what to do and not to do around MC. Things like having a clear voice in text messages to keep them from having anxiety. Or not slamming doors, not entering their room without knocking, reminding them to drink water, knowing when to give them time to breathe etc. Everyone takes it seriously (some might say too seriously), including Belphie who didn't even sleep for a second during the whole thing.

What about an MC who takes on too much and never says anything about it? At first, Lucifer, Barbatos, and to a lesser degree Diavolo, are pleased that they've found a human with a strong work ethic and a love for responsibility. Little do they know that while part of that might be true, they are doing it because they are non-confrontational, a people pleaser, or try to prove their worth through success (or all of the above). They burn themselves out and forgo their other needs to conserve all their energy for the work that's been given to them, and it's not until it becomes a serious health issue that anyone really notices. They all take a blow when they come to know how much they had been pushing a human beyond their capabilities. So they tell MC to do less, not expecting the human to try and convince them that it wasn't an issue, maybe even apologizing for failing. Now they all have to keep an eye on MC and make sure they don't take things too far, and make sure that MC knows that their worth isn't tied to how much gets done in a day and they don't think of them any less for taking breaks or time for themselves. And maybe they all learn to take care of themselves a little more for it too. Especially one work-a-holic demon known as Pride.

How about an MC that hates the way they look? No matter what that might be. Body size, shape, height, skin-tone, skin-color, scars, blemishes, freckles, etc. What if it was drilled into their head since they were a child that they were not beautiful? What if they can't look into the mirror or take any photos of themselves without feeling sick? How about being around a demon like Asmo? Maybe resenting him, maybe avoiding him, maybe wishing they were like him. It probably would hurt Asmo to see someone hating themselves and their body so intently. Maybe it's because it reminds him of himself. Maybe they both have to sit down and rethink what beauty really means? It's a long process for both of them.

All of them work with the human with their image and not in a shallow way like trying to deny the things they have and who they are. They find ways around pictures, because there are more ways to keep memories rather than selfies and commemorative photos.

Or what if:

Beel: *In MC's room.* Alright, we'll just do some basic stretches.

MC: Okay, just tell me what to do.

Beel: Well, if you want, you can put on some music to make it more relaxing.

MC: Music? *Looks a little nervous.* If you want...

*MC then turns some music on their phone on the lowest setting and sets it on their bed.*

Beel: Um...you can turn it up more than that if you want.

MC: Louder? Really?

Beel: Don't you think it's a little quiet?

MC: Oh...um...okay... *turns it up by one more click.* Is- Is that okay? I can turn it down again.

Beel: *Opens his mouth, confused for a moment before shutting it again. In the quickest second, he's in his demon form.* Who do I need to find?

MC: B-Beel?!

[anonimityblog4000]

I actually hate having to post this, but

I feel like I have to post this in response to some recent drama stirring. I will cop to making an alt blog to post this because the hate around this has been virulent.

Recently this post has been shared regarding another artist creating locked tomb fan art

In this post which you should read they make the claim that the creator of these pieces 100% for certain created them with AI image generation software generating quite a lot of attention. The problem is that their supposed supporting evidence is INCREDIBLY flawed to the point of contradiction and nonsense. For example both of these cropped images

are given as evidence of AI generation, claiming that the smudge is the result of AI failure and that the hand is CLEARLY ai generated…except that even a cursory examination and familiarity of what AI image generation ends up looking like would make it obvious that these aren’t AI hands and are just…normal hand drawn hands. As for the smudge we could easily explain that as the artist not noticing a mistake in one of their layers before posting, but we don’t know that. Except we do.

Because if you were to look at the artists blog now you might notice they have made some corrections and small edits to the original piece and lo and behold…no smudge. Now here is where things get properly silly, instead of drawing the obvious conclusion from this that the artist being able to go in and fix the layers of their work means that they actually drew it THEY CLAIM THAT THE ABILITY TO DRAW AND EDIT IN THE EXACT STYLE OF THE PIECE IS FURTHER EVIDENCE OF AI.

WHAT.

I don’t think I need to point out to most people that AI image generation tools do not work that way and they certainly don’t allow you to make subtle targeted fixes and edits.

There is also a claim that the artist admitted to using AI to produce the piece which is a gross distortion of what they explained, the artist openly stated that they have tried using image gen tools to assist with their thumbnailing process. Let us be clear that thumbnailing is NOT producing any sort of final piece but is simply the process of brainstorming ideas and concepts. It’s seriously gross to flat out lie and claim the artist said anything different. Thankfully someone else screenshotted this so there’s actual evidence that accusations are being made that are straight up lies.

It is also at this point we should take a look at some of the artists other publicly available work.

I chose this selection because another accusation in the post that is hard evidence of AI is that because the posted pieces are “too different” in style from other earlier work posted on their blog, it should be fairly obvious how silly this is with even a small sample of what they have produced. This is an artist who obviously has the ability to work in a wide range of artistic styles and mediums but instead this is being used to claim they…can’t art? It’s also worth pointing the obvious that there are plenty of works in that artist’s portfolio in the exact same mucha style, including ones that are literally hand drawn on paper. Works that literally predate the availability of image generation software going back years. It is a complete farce to suggest this person CANT DRAW HANDS.

Frankly it is incredibly disappointing that the community is barraging this artist with insults and hate because of one persons incredibly flawed accusations. A person that I might add has deleted comments on their post that disagreed with them while at the same time castigating the artist for blocking them and deleting their post as evidence of their guilt.

While this isn’t conclusive in and of itself I’ll end with this.

It’s more effort than the accuser went to before rallying a witch hunt against someone else.

[nicodrawings]

Idk if I ever said this out loud, but I’m from Maryland (well the DMV) and a chunk of my childhood was spent in the suburbs of Maryland. I remember seeing the cicadas episode of COTC for the first time and it felt like I was going back in time to when I was a kid.

Although my childhood was very different from a lot of kids in the show, I think it’s one of the few shows where I feel like I truly see myself in it. Especially as a black girl and I know that if I was still a kid I would still love it as much as I do now.

So yea…seeing this Warner Bros. situation really fuckin hurts to see.

Like idk how else to put it. It’s just heartbreaking. I hate seeing people lose their jobs, their shows, their fuckin work, for some dudes at the top to make a quick buck. It absolutely enrages me and it’s something I’ve ranted and cried about to my sister. And I’ve seen many people around my age and younger say that they might step away from the animation industry for something more stable. And sometimes I wonder myself if I’m going the right path, and if pursuing the animation industry is worth the risk. And y’know what…I do think it’s worth the risk. Art and more specifically animation is quite frankly the love of my life. It’s helped me get through life in so many ways and I just don’t know where the hell I’d be if I didn’t have it. There’s so much love put into these shows and shorts and movies. From writing to concepts and characters, to sound design and effects, like I love it all, and it’s my dream to be a part of it all, no matter how small the role is. My sister told me that moments like this (where corporations try to fuck over craftsmen and they care more about a product than people) never end well for those mfs, especially in art, because artist won’t take that shit sitting down. And I’d like to think she’s right. That we won’t take this shit sitting down, that whether your a causal viewer or someone who wants to make a career in animation, we’re gonna be like “man fuck this shit you gonna respect me” and actually square up with these companies that think they can just throw ppl away and fuck people over. Animation isn’t nothing, creators aren’t nothing. I know it’s a hard fight to go up against but I don’t think it’s impossible to fight, and it’s something I wanna help fight in. I think the animation industry and the workers involved are worth fighting for and I know I’m definitely not alone in this thought.

I don’t know of any of this makin any sense but honestly I just wanted to speak from the heart.

If you’re reading this and you worked on Craig of the Creek or were a part of the creative teams under Warner Bros. or Netflix or whichever big animation studio (miraculously lol but you never know whos reading i guess) and you were laid off, from the bottom of my fuckin heart, thank you and I’m sorry. Y’all put so much hard work and creativity and love and dedication into the shows you worked on and I have so much respect for y’all for doin what you do. Y’all aren’t nothing, y’all aren’t garbage to be tossed away and you shouldn’t be treated as such. And I know y’all have a big and bright future ahead.

Keep supporting animation

Keep watching and loving animation

Keep fighting for animation

[pea-brain]

example donation link

if you are an artist or something and want to offer the same commissions, please feel free to take any of these images and use them yourself (edit however you want, remove my art, obviously), the text is free to use.

*in the unlikely event i receive a ton of these, i might have to close them. will let you know. reblogs will be turned off if i close commissions

extra information below v

thank you so much for reading! i used all caps for ease of read, it comes across super agro lol sorry <3 i will be nice in person

also, small note, i dont consider mobility aids (including wheelchairs) to be props, those are free to add.

any further questions DM away!

TEXT IN FIRST MAJOR IMAGES BELOW

------------------------------------

HOW DOES THIS WORK?

FIRST: AGREE UPON AMOUNT IN APPROPRIATE CURRENCY (SEE "QUESTIONS")

SECOND: WE AGREE UPON ONE OR (IF THE COMMISSION IS OVER $40) MORE GOFUNDME'S TO SEND IT TO TO SEND THE AMOUNT TO

OPTION 1: PAYPAL

SEND ME THE AMOUNT AGREED UPON VIA PAYPAL

I WILL IMMEDIATELY SEND THIS AMOUNT TO THE GOFUNDME OR GOFUNDME'S WE AGREED UPON

I WILL SEND YOU PROOF OF DONATION (SCREENSHOTS, FORWARDED EMAILS, WHATEVER YOU NEED).

(THIS IS MY PREFERRED BECAUSE I CAN BE 100% SURE THE MONEY IS SENT)

OPTION 2: STRAIGHT TO THEM

CREATE AN ACCOUNT WITH 'GOFUNDME' AND ALLOW THEM TO SEND YOU AN EMAIL TO SEND YOU A DONATION RECEIPT

SEND THE MONEY STRAIGHT TO THE AGREED UPON GOFUNDME/S

SHOW ME PROOF (SCREENSHOTS AND FORWARD THE EMAIL CONTAINING THE RECEIPT TO ME)

IF YOU CANNOT FORWARD THE ACTUAL EMAIL TO ME, I WILL NOT ACCEPT YOUR COMMISSION.

THIS HAS TO BE A NEW DONATION THAT WE MAKE TOGETHER (PEOPLE NEED MORE MONEY RIGHT NOW, I WILL NOT BE ACCEPTING COMMISSIONS BASED ON OLD DONATIONS.)

additions:

+75% extra character, complex background/ scene*, full render, complex outfit design by meee ;)

+50% medium background/ scene*, flats (will include nice lineart), complex outfit/ design, simple outfit design by me

*scene means a complex pose or it looks like they're actually in the background. interpretation of this is up to me

addition prices are calculated based off of the base price and do not compound

example calculation: half body ($30) + extra character (+75% of $30 = $23) + medium background/scene (+50% of $30 = $15) = 30+23+15= $68

for stuff not covered here (like a complex prop) just shoot me a DM

will draw: furry (not great but i can try), gore (incl extreme), horror, artistic/ casual nudity, fanart, your roc's, my doc's, romantic/ ship art, anything LGBT+ (people might not know me i felt i should add that)

wont draw: porn, fetish (up to me to interpret what i consider that), ship/ romantic/ nude art involving persons who are or appear to be under the age of 18 (even if they are 'aged up'.) even if its like kids kissing, i'm not comfortable with that cheers, anything i consider 'hateful' (i dunno man i felt i had to add it)

if i am uncomfortable i reserve the right t refuse aspects or the entire request

ownership of the art is yours, if you dont want me to post it to my account i wont

QUESTIONS

USD? AUD? CAD? EUROS?

I TRUST YOU TO BE HONEST, IF YOU ARE AUSTRALIAN, AUD, IF YOU ARE AMERICAN, USD. IF YOU DON'T USE THOSE, PICK ONE. (EUROS AND USD ARE WORTH MORE SO I WILL PUT MORE EFFORT IN NGL)

DO I (THE ARTIST) KEEP ANY OF THE MONEY?

NO!! 100% GOES TO A GOFUNDME (OR MULTIPLE) WE AGREE UPON MUTUALLY

WHEN DO YOU (THE COMMISSIONER) PAY?

ASAP! (BEFORE I START PREFERABLY) THESE PEOPLE NEED MONEY NOW. IF YOU CAN ONLY PAY HALF NOW, HALF LATER, THAT'S FINE. I WILL NOT SHOW YOU THE FINISHED PRODUCT UNTIL ALL THE MONEY IS DONATED. (I WILL SHOW YOU PROOF OF WORKING ON IT (A SKETCH))

WHEN WILL YOU (THE COMMISSIONER) RECIVE THE ART?

I AM CURRENTLY A FULL TIME UNI STUDENT, AND IF I RECEIVE A LOT OF REQUESTS IT MAY TAKE SOME TIME. I DON'T KNOW HOW STRESSFUL THIS WILL BECOME

HOW MUCH WOULD ONE LIKEDRAWING FROM MY (THE ARTIST'S) ACCOUNT COST?

DM IT TO ME I'LL TELL YA

HOW IS 'RENDERING' DIFFERENT FROM A 'FULL PAINTING'

RENDERING INCLUDES CONSIDERED LIGHTING AND SHADING AS WELL AS ATTENTION TO DETAIL. A 'FULL PAINTING' INCLUDES THAT PLUS INTERESTING COMPOSITION, BETTER LIGHTING AND DETAIL, A BETTER 'VIBE' TO IT. ITS HARD TO EXPLAIN, BUT YOU CAN SEE IT FOR SURE. IF YOU DISAGREE

REFUNDS?

NO FULL REFUNDS

IF I AM UNABLE TO PRODUCE A DRAWING IN A MAXIMUM OF 3 MONTHS I CAN REFUND YOU 50% OUT OF MY OWN POCKET. IF THIS HAPPENS, YOU WILL NOT RECIVE ANY ART FROM ME FOR THIS COMMISSION

IF THERE IS AN ISSUE WITH YOU DECIDING YOU NO LONGER WANT THIS, OR YOU ARE UNABLE TO PROVIDE SUFFICIENT PROOF (OUTLINED ABOVE) FROM THE ACTUAL GOFUNDME THAT IS NOT MY PROBLEM. YOU HAVE JUST DONATED MONEY TO PERSON/S IN DIRE NEED SO THATS AWESOME ACTUALLY

TO BE CLEAR: IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND AND THE MONEY IS SENT, I WILL NOT REFUND YOU. I WILL ONLY REFUND 50% IF I FAIL TO PRODUCE A DRAWING IN 3 MONTHS FROM TIME OF COMMISSION

[galesdevoteewife]

I imagine Zilvera at times has problems keeping up with the moral compass of some characters, namely Wyll and Karlach, specially with subjects as slavery, child abuse (as she might not consider some abusive traits as abuse), and others.

I can imagine them seeing her free the deep gnomes and being "thank gods you are against slavery", and because she avoids confrontation her reacting being like "Yeah, yeah, sure. Whatever helps us sleep soundly at night without more conflict than the one Shadowheart and Lae'zel bring."

Hi Anon! Thanks so much for your ask! This might get a bit, or very lengthy because I find it hard to stop talking, or thinking, about their story 😅😂💜

Yeah Zilvera's moral compass is basically "whatever leads to what I want is right."

The storyline I chose here was: co-op with the duergar elder → used regular explosives to blow open the cave and kept the Smokepowder → killed Nere and loot all his money from his body without being noticed. This battle turned into a favor the elder owed her, since he failed to pay what he promised. → freed the deep gnomes, including Barcus.

In Zilvera's eyes, these were all minor skirmishes, and the true enemies haven't shown their faces yet. She wanted to gather all possible advantages for the upcoming real war. The little guys with powerful explosives technology were worth investing in. And Nere? Who?

She has no sympathy for slaves or children. She thinks these people brought it upon themselves; powerlessness and compliance are the true crimes. Wyll and Karlach were great "good-guys" moral examples for her because their reactions were honest, instant, and easy to read. She influences people by making them to like her, and in general surface people like the good guys. She knew the concepts of slavery, manipulation, and abuse are triggering to many, so she prefers putting on an act. Nobody ever openly asks her opinion towards slavery, but if they did, she'd give sly, witty answers like "Of course, I ran a slave farm back home," or "Why? You need a mistress?"

If she was alone, she'd probably wrest control from the duergars by making shocking horror examples of her capability, then force the gnomes to figure out a way to blow open the rocks immediately. Her approach would be, "Your loved ones are in there too, right? Don't you want to save them? Clock's ticking, and their fates are depend on you."

In her opinion whipping slaves to make them work faster is foolish child's play—how can injured arms swing quicker? She has no need for defective slaves. She slaves with a long-term reward and punishment system. Learning the slave's drives and fears, creating conflicts of interest among them to ensure they don't band together, making them prone to betraying each other. She has a twisted appreciation for the true art of manipulation. The master's work should always be deeply ingrained and unnoticed. Flogging? Beating? Starving? Amateur. My spider baby was raised in Lolth's church after all.

Ironically, her core has always been a devoted lover, a giver, a pleaser. Her lover's approval means everything to her. Zilvera feels embarrassed by the way she loves so she's pretty shy in romance, even worse in bed. It's an endless cycle for her—she gets hyped by their affection and then hates herself for having no dignity. But the sweetness is all she wants in the world so she'd easily go back to the same track. I wrote a story curve for her and it'd eventually gets a lot better as their bond grows and she slowly learn self acceptance. Her moral compass had became guessing-what-Gale-likes ever since she fell in love with him XD She’s already hopeless way before they reached the forge. She always looks for opportunities to put a smile on his face, to make him proud of her. Anything she thinks he wouldn’t approve, she'd do behind his back or find another way. This tendency eventually sowed unease in herself. She thought that once Gale find out everything about her then he'll definitely leave. She thought their relationship was but a countdown on a tightrope which she tried hard to cling to. My HC Gale actually knew some of her secrets and struggles, but he was treating the matter carefully. He sees her true nature as quite selfless, a rare and precious attribute that he loves about her. Plus it's intoxicating for him to see how much influence he has upon her and how obvious that he is her priority always.

[DISCLAIMER] I wanted to build an anti-hero character and create a reasonable, relatable drow culture out of the straight silly evil frame so I built Zilvera this way. None of these represent my own moral opinion! XD

[aluria-sevhex]

ToT Bonnie i love you but that is not how it's pronounced

NOW FOR MY NOTES, COPIED FROM MY NOTES APP INSTEAD OF SCREENSHOTTED THIS TIME (edit: put it under a read more because long)

ACT 2

-THE TIPS ON HOW TO PLAY ARE FUCKING DIAGETIC?

-"stardust" are you the starhead bitch from the trailers

-i feel like i'll have to ask the librarian for a book eventually

-THE RUNNING ONE IS CALLING OUT SIF LOL (for running from his problems) (hmmmm Sif what problems r u running from?)

-ugh. it's the starhead bitch

-plot twist the star head is Siffrin and that's why he's depressed :P

-their name is Loop. i don't trust them

-"Yeah, better know this one's pronouns so you can think very clearly in your head that they're getting on your nerves."

-LOOP CAN READ THE PROFILES? WHAT KIND OF META BULLSHIT IS THIS </positive i fucking love meta bullshit>

-hm is Loop some sort of weird representation of the player. or a god.

-learn WHAT?

-hm feel like this game might explore some of the moral iffiness that tends to arise with time loops. is a friendship genuine if one person knows exactly what the other will say?

-"don't eat pineapples. you're allergic" fuck you. i WILL eat pineapples and i WILL enter anaphylaxis and i WILL die stupidly but it will be WORTH IT

-WAIT HOLD UP WHAT WAS THAT DIALOGUE IN THE >> TUTORIAL "don't make the same mistakes i did" I THINK THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID HOLD UP

-maybe Loop was a normal person who got stuck in a time loop for too long and fucked up somehow? and that's why they're like this

-idk if i'll zone out much i don't wanna miss any differences

-altho if there's a difference won't i zone back in?

-then again there's a lot of dialogue

-maybe this will be plot-important somehow?

update after being gone for a bit:

-Tears weewoo

-SIFFRIN SAID NYA

-side note i am so glad i fought that thing that dropped the crest even tho it was hard. fighting it again on future loops is gonna suck tho

-also fun fact right after i died to the Tears i ran ahead and accidentally got crushed by the rock again. which i think is bullshit because I RAN TO THE SIDE OF THE ROOM

-back to more important things. like Siffrin saying nya. or the thyme pun.

-ODILE SAID IT. look she has a phd or whatever equivalent there is here probably, she's like 40, i think she's earned the right to do whatever the fuck she wants

-Isabeau is AOBB (Assigned Omelette By Bonnie)

-"It'd be awful to keep yourself from becoming a person you feel comfortable with just because it would upset someone else."

Breaking news: the game where the protagonist uses he/they, two other major characters use they/them, and there is a conversation explicitly referencing pronouns and giving them, unsurprisingly supports trans rights

-BONNIE DO NOT EAT THE EGG KEYCHAIN

-BONNIE HAS A WOK >:D

-uh... why are the Vaugardians freaking out over crab. does the Change religion ban it?

-Vaugarde is weird. first, they have a VERY SPECIFIC RULE where entering the FIRST ROOM of a house is fine, but any further is rude. second: crabs??? ok i guess???

-an openphrase... ya mean a password?

-fuck it i am fully in "taking gratuitous extensive notes" mode

-hehe protector craft is gullible :P

-oh hey tasteful artistic nudes. so this room's resident is an art student. hopefully their grasp of anatomy was improved :]

-Mira said what the crab instead of what the hell

-"what the CRAB did you let Bonnie do when we said no!!!"

-YOU LET THE PRE-TEEN DRINK VODKA???

-LMAOOOOOOOO IT WAS WATER. I LOVE HOW MUCH OF A LITTLE SHIT SIFFRIN IS

-checked it again. the people are "doing fun things" eh so what if an art student draws porn, that's on me for peeking ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ still hope it improved their grasp of anatomy. if the anatomy was bad and the narration didn't tell me i would be disappointed in it :P

-ooo drawn tarot card. isn't the Six of Swords a bad one? i feel like it's foreshadowing somehow but i don't feel like looking its meaning up

-i fucking hate the triplet Sadnesses they're so annoying

-the reason the Mandela Effect with Berenstein/Berenstain happened is because Sif equipped the e

-OH? saving records party progress if you loop back to that spot :0

-yippee i beat the Sadness boss that changes its type (this is like the first enemy that does that i think)

-Mira are you hungry

-YEAH LET'S FUCKIN' EAT

-this question keeps popping in my head but where the fuck IS Siffrin from plot twist the kid was right and he's from the sky idk i'm saying random shit

-SNACK TIME

[guppygiggles]

Look, this shouldn't be a surprise if you read my pinned post... and I generally don't get involved in discourse, but I want to be explicit about something. This is NOT a callout, or aimed at anyone in particular, and this is the only post I'm ever going to make about this.

While tickling usually isn't sexual for me (only with my partner), it is intimate.

I obviously don't feel "normal" about it. I get flustered, I blush over it, I get excited, I feel cuddly and loving over it, I get in playful moods... I feel a lot of things about tickling that "regular" people don't. I mean, just look at my art. Look at what I write. This shouldn't be shocking, right?

Connecting with my friends in the community via teasing them, tickling their characters, and generally just "playing" with them is how I show I love and care for them, or even just that I really enjoy their characters. It's how I cuddle them through a screen. It's a fun and unique way we interact that I don't think people outside the community really have an analog for, which is why it's so hard to articulate.

For what it's worth (and, sort of, the whole point of this post) -- I am friends with people who are knismos and kinksters, who are into the very NSFW side of tickling. That aspect of it doesn't really interest or appeal to me, because I'm demi and I only feel those feelings with my spouse... but just because I'm not interested, doesn't mean I think it's wrong. We are adults, we communicate what we're okay with in terms of interacting with each other. It's a bit different with each one of my friends, and that is completely okay with me; I am more than happy to learn and respect their boundaries and nuances.

If you understand this, then it should make sense to you why I don't want minors to interact with me, regardless of how sfw my content is. I don't want physical -- even as an idea -- or emotional intimacy with minors.

I want to make this clear, too: I'm very sex-positive even though I'm on the ace spectrum. I do not like the puritanical attitude that some people in the sfw community have toward the nsfw community, like they're immoral or gross because they enjoy tickling in a sexual way, or as a fetish. I might not be in their circle, but I'm on their side.

Most people, on both sides, have a "live and let live" attitude about this discourse, which is fine; I'm not talking about you, okay? But if you're sending hate to the nsfw side of the community for no other reason than you just think they're weird, gross, or you think you're superior for some reason because you only enjoy it in a sfw context, etc... just know that those are my friends, and if you're against them, you're against me, too.

[kaurwreck]

you remind me of a time i wish i could go back to; a time in which i would obsessively read and keep reading about anything that interested me slightly. i would stumble into entirely new ways of thinking with all the delicacy of a bull in a china shop, and learn to engage with it on its own terms. the ability got lost somewhere in the haze that was school and uni and people and work and now i’ve… lost the ability to think on my own. it comes maybe twice a month, in random bursts, and i fucking hate that i don’t have access to it continuously anymore. i hate that now when i’m bored i can’t think up stories in my head and chew on ideas in my free time. i see you and i’m so happy and so envious; i wish for my thirst for life back. i’m so tired. i’m saying this to you because, of all people, might be able to see it clearly. i respect the fact that you managed to retain it to adulthood or beyond is so much. you don’t know how much that means to me, as a young adult.

If it helps, I don't read nearly as much as I did as a kiddo. Like, not even remotely close. Quite frankly, I've only recently gotten back into reading lit, after years of only reading comics and manga, and not nearly at the volume I did before.

But! There are all sorts of opportunities to engage with stories and ideas and reconnect the synapses that spit where they used to spark. Once, in the throes of a heavy and prolonged period of uncertainty, I was gripped by the color of spray paint on the sidewalk on the way to pick up an espresso while sleep deprived. I consciously chose to stop and appreciate it.

Which is to say, I also get exhausted and burnt out and go through periods where I wonder if I've lost some fundamental part of myself. But then I rest or I change my routine or I receive an affirmation I didn't realize I desperately needed, and my verve returns, as it does. I think having pediatric onset bipolar disorder has advantaged me in this regard because even when I feel like nothing, I know that the intensity will return, and that it will continue to ebb and flow like the tides. I used to dread the ebb, but the ebb has its own value, too; in the ebb is where I nurture roots.

But to my earlier point, there are lots of stories and ideas buried in all sorts of moments. We can imbue meaning in the things we do as an observed ritual until it becomes habit until it becomes sincere. And for the periods in which we can't, it's worth remembering that the winter solstice is the longest evening of the year, but the sun will come back because it always has. In the meantime, you can stoke a hearth and sip on coaxed together warmth while tucking into your memory this grief so that you will recognize what you've been missing when it returns, so that feeling excited is remarkable enough to cut the present ennui. In time, you'll start to feel substance in the contours of the grief, too, because to be exhausted and numb and tired means that you exist enough to be anything at all.

And, if you're too untethered from yourself for even that, find something mundane and look for a glimmer of anything worth observing. If you can't find anything, choose to give some facet of what you see meaning anyway.

(It's not that the sidewalk was purple. It's that I chose to see that it was that particular, beautiful shade of purple rather than remain adrift into my own ether and, in doing so, tethered my intangible enormity in something tangible enough for me to stoke while I weathered the season.)

If you practice enough, this becomes muscle memory. Same with thinking on your own. I don't think reading is ever enough on its own anyway; sometimes, we mirror ideas and mistake them for our own. Or we encounter ideas but don't allow ourselves to be changed by them.

It's why it's important to engage intentionally, and it doesn't have to be with text. It can be with movies, art, those around us, our environment, our own understanding of the world, the condensation on a window. Mindfulness helps, but so does adopting the mindset of a toddler and asking why? Constantly. Again, it may begin as a rote exercise, but the more you do it, the more it becomes muscle memory. If you think you know something, consciously stop and ask why? Where did you learn that? What assumptions does your conclusion rely on? Could there be another explanation? Pretend you're someone else for a moment, a favorite character or historical figure or loved one. What would they think given the same facts? Also important is saying, like a toddler, because I said so! as the only reason you need. Try things for the sake of having not tried them before. There's a reason why Lao Tzu advises being like a newborn baby, soft boned with a strong grip.

There's very little I do, read, watch, or consume that I don't think about applying elsewhere, too. This is sometimes exhausting. But it's also where I get my well of passion. Because there's always an opportunity for meaning, my life bursts with it.

This doesn't mean I don't still have rough weeks or months or years. I have bipolar, adhd, cptsd, and social phobia; I have frequent insomnia and sleep paralysis, etc. etc. But I look forward to what I might learn next, and there's purpose and intention to how I experience even my lows. The life I'm currently living is so unlike where I came from, in part because I decided I wanted meaning and purpose. Before I knew what that was supposed to look like, I picked a direction and strove for it, feeling out what I couldn't see. I still do, when necessary. It will always be necessary.

So, while I don't know if what works for me will work for you, I can promise that something will excite you again, eventually. Adulthood isn't a linear decline or a separation from yourself. It's variable and dynamic, and you have agency in what you do with that. There isn't any objective meaning or purpose to be assigned, so you get to choose it for yourself, and it can be as variable and dynamic as you need it to be. So, if you don't want to grow into someone who can't think on your own, you don't have to. If you don't like your current state of mind, you don't need to settle in it.

tl;dr: It's not what I've retained, it's that I've ebbed and flowed and changed, and given myself the space to clumsily stumble towards what I want and what I value, even if I'm not always sure what those are. I'm letting go of the construct that I have to be anything, and I emphatically choose not to be lots of things. It's a process, and it's nonlinear. But nothing is, and there's grace in the inevitably of ebb.

[swanpit]

starlightmeadowbloom has a tendency to hound people to read their fanfic so that people can make art of it. Just so you are aware.

It’s in all likelihood that they are constantly asking you to read their fanfic so that you can make art if it

i've heard and in that case, i regretly gonna inform that kind of approach is just going to put people off, and totally will backfire the more people are hounding me about something like this the LESS i want to do it. in that case, my advice is, Please FUCKING DO NOT. CEASE. unless you wanna get hated so fucking badly for some reason.(not you twilight, it's for those who still think being pushy like this is ok, no it is not, it's fucking annoying) dont chase people, let them come to your work first, DONT FORCE YOUR WORK ON OTHERS. lack of interest doesnt mean "i should try harder", NO that means leave them alone!, they can turn from just neutral to dislike very fast especially if you're not the kind of person who can take a NO. i know it feels like you're really made it when famous big name artists are drawing and liking your fic. if you're lucky, they will but realistically that cant always happen. I assure you the fic isnt worth any less if it's not drawn by more popular artists, hell if you already have close friends constantly drawing for your fic, cherish them! are their contributions not enough??? (why even me i dont even think i am that popular anyway! i hope she doesnt do the same to other artists, we hate it if we were made to feel like we're NOTHING BUT drawing tools!) i have personal experience with someone in the past who gets super pushy with their fic, and whoo boy i do wanna give benefit of doubt at first and in the end it just got worse and worse, the persistence become more desperate and annoying and all the guilt tripping comes out and my only regret is that i didnt destroy this person any further. (fyi i just got more info that this person is still doing their shit, and even worse, good fucking grief) also ps : this person i met before has a "loyal army" of "friends" that will HARASS anyone who doesn't like their fic so yeah that's hmmmm. is this post of mine here gonna lead to a repeat of that? sadly i don't think the probability will be zero…but absolutely NOT the way to make people gonna suddenly like your friend's fic, kiddos~ i DO NOT appreciate being pushed, pressure or harassed and guilt tripped to liking something that i am not into. it might not be at that point yet for now in this situation but how am i gonna know that it wont escalate to that level? NO is NO even in this situation. if people are not interested, do NOT force it. being desperate is only gonna make people hate you , is that what you want? ask yourself, is that really what you want?

please understand that not everyone is gonna like what you put out there and that is ok. it doesnt always mean what you make is bad, sometimes because it's just niche and not people's cup of tea. if you make it personal i guarantee as fuck we're gonna make it personal too. so i'm warning you and others who still think of doing this shit now. CEASE. FUCKING CEASE. STOP

i am feeling still neutral at her fic she's trying to push constantly on others at this point, i admit i dont know enough about the content to judge, just doesnt feel like my cup of tea. nothing personal. (disclaimer this doesnt mean bad, just doesnt feel like my thing) BUT if the pushiness is still persists, that might change...and NOT in the good direction. i am truly SICK at this attitude at this point but i also know that if it was never told, no one will know and nothing will be learned. i know sometimes there's no malicious intent and it's not something people are aware on how other people take it when they're acting like this. so i have to tell now why all this "i should try harder to make everyone like my fic even if they arent interested yet i should try harder till they will" is NOT GOING TO WORK

[caplanbuckybarnes]

OMG I SO SORRY FOR THE ASK I HADN'T FINISHED IT I WAS ASKING ABT YOU GIVING ME SOME WRITING TIPS AND IT AUTOCORRECTED WHEN I WROTE I BC MY PHONES MESSED UP LIKE THAT AND I DIDNT REALISE OML I'M SO SORRY PLZ FORGIVE ME MOOT PLEASE I LOVE YOUR WRITING I PROMISE ESP YOUR BUCKY FICS AND THAT I'M SORRY

no worries, honey.. i figured that was the case. you want writing tips?? Sure.

Never force your writing. If ideas don't come to your mind, don't force them. It will sound like hell, and you will indeed hate yourself over it. Are you stuck on a scene in your writing? Skip it and write what comes after. The words will come eventually. I can't tell you how many times I was stuck on a scene to write out the following few scenes after, and then the scene I was stuck on came back to me in droves.

Write what YOU love and what YOU want to write if you don't want to write out a request/idea someone sent to you, then don't. You don't need to explain yourself. Don't feel as though you HAVE to accept a request from someone; you'll burn yourself out and hate yourself worrying over the request/idea.

Write about whatever you want to: your favourite character/blurbs. Write new AUs, write angst, fluff, smut, whatever you want. Ignore the antis; every fandom has them, and it's honestly not worth the time and effort. Block the people who try to bash you for writing a character/pairing they don't like. Fandoms are meant to be a fun, safe space. Write what you want, and love every word of it.

Don't proofread ANYTHING until you know you're finished with your piece of writing/art.

Get an extra set of eyes to look over your work, whether it's some stranger on the internet you trust or a person in person who you trust to be completely honest with you about edits/scenes you need to rewrite/whatever else they might ask. Sometimes, when we look over our writing, our brain ignores the mistakes, so get an extra set of eyes.

You don't have to post every day/week/month to be a writer. You're still a writer if only one word gets written/typed daily. Take care of yourself first & foremost. I know writers on tumblr/ao3 that have burnt themselves out writing nonstop, it's not mentally safe to force yourself to write just for a few commetns/reviews/kudos.

Which brings me to Ao3/Tumblr stats. DON'T compare yourself to other writers. EVER. Yes, there's always going to be a fic that's more popular then yours will EVER be. & that's totally fine. Whether you get one like/kudos/comment, or a thousand of them. ENJOY WHAT YOU DO! because guess what?? As they say on Whose Line Is It Anyway? THE POINTS DO NOT MATTER! you're writing for FUN, no other reason!!!

You'll be your absolute worst critic when it comes to your own writing. Don't be too harsh on yourself. The reason why you hate your own writing and think it sucks & nobody is going to read it is because you've read it over numerous times yourself and found it to be predictable; NEWSFLASH, DING DING! It's NOT!!

You will ALWAYS improve your writing. I recently went back to look at a bunch of my own writing from 2018 and noticed how much I've improved since then. Yes, the writing makes me cringe, but that's entirely okay. It means I grew as a writer.

Experiment with Aus that you wouldn't see in canon. I tend to always, always go for a good ole Mafia AU, because, let's face it, guns?? blood?? gore?? but also, fluff?? baking cookies with your lover ay 3am AU?? hellooo?? I never know where my mind will take me when I start a new drabble/one shot.

11. Take your time; don't rush a word out.

[scandalouslamb]

Hi! I'm new around your ask box, your blog in general, but it's been keeping me so entertained with all the writing for these characters i've never even paid attention to before! Keep up the good work, you got me to be interested in reading the HG novels, haha.

Anyway, since you recently published work on Dr. Gaul I feel like this would be the most appropriate time to talk about it. I don't know if you've ever explored this concept before, or if someone has already mentioned it to you or if it's just common knowledge in the fan base, but the fact that Dr. Gaul hadn't considered Coriolanus' proposal of 'getting people attached to the tributes' for the past 9 editions is so fascinating? It's such a basic concept in writing, people will want more out of something they care for—usually and especially characters— that it boggles my mind that it wasn't something she considered before (though, to her credit, applying fiction logic to a gore fest reality show does seem pretty unconventional. Or maybe it's a case of Oops! Missed something obvious!).

It makes me wonder a couple of things about her and her worldview. She spends the entire movie (and I assume, the book) harping on about humanity's inherent savagery, yet she considered that empathy and sentimentality could get in the way of what's allegedly biological? Is that why she saw Snow as so promising? Because on top of proving her right he proved that even human kindness can be weaponized to favor violence?

I'm so sorry for the long ask I ended up rambling too much but i thought you'd be the only person in the fanbase at the moment who'd engage in Dr. Gaul discussion lol!

Oh, hello, anon! Welcome! Always happy to answer asks, no matter the length! Feel free to ramble!

Also with the exception of Gaul, there might be a good reason no one pays attention to the characters that I talk about (I basically made most of them up)! But I appreciate the interest! The novels are great! While I do fixate on minor characters, I do try and align what I write with the themes and ideas the novels explore, so there's still plenty of appeal to them! Just don't expect the Ravinstills to be a really big part of them lol (Gaul discussion under the cut)

To me, Volumnia doesn't seem like the type to care if people watch the Games. Like I know she reacts like this in the book:

Dean Highbottom shot Dr. Gaul a look. “You see? It’s a failed experiment.” “It is if no one watches!” she snapped back. She gave Coriolanus an indulgent smile. “He’s a child himself. Give him time. I’ve got a good feeling about this one. Well, I’m off to visit my mutts.” (Ch. 4)

But to me, I think it only starts mattering to her, because there's this implication that if they don't start raising viewership (or having some more concrete worth to the Capitol), then the Games will end, and she would hate for her little experiment annual art installation to be taken down. I think part of the reason that she doesn't come up with getting people attached to the Tributes is that she gets tunnel vision. She doesn't understand why no one can see her thesis statement. The worth of the Games is self-explanatory to her because of her worldview. How can she get people to see what should be obvious? The Games for her are the point in themselves— her little microcosm of the world reflecting her ideology. If the people don't understand the message right in front of them, then they're fools.

Volumnia Gaul, in my mind (and like many people in the Capitol), is a hypocrite. She'll say that humanity is inherently savage and then close her eyes to any signs of empathy and compassion happening around her (and in her Games). I think that she latches onto Snow, because she sees the seeds of ambition and the desperation of someone on a shorter leash than most in him. He's the perfect candidate for someone she can mold into understanding her worldview (and I think he reminds her of President Ravinstill, but that's fully me taking vague subtextual friendship between her and Pres. R and turning it into a whole thing). I also think that Crassus Snow being someone who used his best friend to get ahead and also was likely fully okay with an idea like the Hunger Games, plays a part in her initial interest in Snow. (Also in the above quote? I love that she's already got an eye on him! "I have a good feeling about this one." ehjtkrhjk)

I think Snow's weaponizing of empathy is actually very appealing to her like you say! I think she sees it as a way to rationalize acts of kindness and sentiment as something rooted in her idea of humanity's inherent violence! She gets to use him as a case study for that even if not all his kindness was a way to get ahead. Her whole worldview maintains itself through confirmation bias, and I think what she thinks of Snow is no different. She actively shapes him, and then probably turns around and goes "see that? human nature."

Anyway, I hope I answered all your questions! Once, I start typing I get a little lost, so if you'd like elaboration or clarification or just have another question, let me know!

And as always, these are, of course, just my two cents. There's definitely many ways to interpret Gaul and just everything.

I am also surprised that there isn't more discussion on Volumnia though... Like there are a few others, who contemplate her as well, but I thought there would be more. Anyway, thanks for the ask again, anon!

[threadsdemiseif]

Made by @sapphirestones09

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS AUSGHSJSGDKSHSI

CRYING SHITTING SOBBING

TYSM FOR THE FANFIC, I AM FLOORED

Note: It took an embarrassingly long time to find the submission post. Cons of being tech averse. First fanfic? Yey? English isn’t exactly my first language, and some sentences may sound weird and also punctuations are my enemy. Was supposed to be just a drabble, just a take on the “The Incident” nothing too fancy. It was supposed to be straightforward and simple but then 2.7k words.

During this time the story didn’t even start and there are a lot of details that I may have missed, and plot points are not addressed directly. The fic maybe embarrassingly incorrect when it comes to the events and the interpretation of characters. I know…but I did it anyway.

 This is just purely written with no certain Doctor MC in mind but gained inspiration by asking myself “What would a psychopath in “love” do in this situation?”

 ***

You have never been a romantic.

Although there are times that you convinced yourself you are.

People describe romance and love with words that when put together only sounded like ancient language to you. Foreign. Alien. You drowned yourself in poetry, art, songs, movies, books, you consumed all kinds of media you can get your filthy hands on that emphasizes that kind of ideas, all that work and yet the concept remained an enigma to you. Try as you might it seemed like there is a buffer in your brain causing the words to become static and incomprehensible. Like wisps of smoke and childhood bubbles that pass through your hands when you try to catch it.

People seemed to revolve themselves around it though, becoming the center of their worlds. You? You only saw yourself as an outsider when it comes to this subject. You witness the people you tolerate spinning themselves dizzy around it until they collapse, vomit, and destroy themselves in the process.

You like that. Not romance no, you like the aftermath of it. The chaos left in its wake that you can’t help but marvel. You are curious, intrigued, determined to understand the nature of it and see if you can truly bend it to your will.

How odd your interests are…

And so your experiments began, you engaged yourself for a time. The people around you were more than happy to, it’s a wonder how humans quickly drop to their knees at the sight of a pretty face. Never quite understanding the kind of wretchedness hidden beneath. You instantly learned the system, a smile there, a touch there, a wink, a reassurance, a kiss, a bite, and they are wrapped around your pretty finger.

It quickly got boring. Frustration building inside you. All this time and you still don’t understand it. Everyone says its fun, fulfilling, gratifying in a way that resembles the feeling of jumping from a skyscraper. It overcomes all types of high that you can get from pills and drugs. It’s exhilarating. Maddeningly so.

You want that. That type of feeling. You want to understand it and judge it. If it was truly as amazing as they said it is. If it was worth the wars that waged for it. The lives lost in the name of it.

You want to know the ruin. The hurt. The despair. The madness.

But alas, monsters can’t love, can they?

If that is so, then what is it that you are feeling now?

Why is it that when you look up to their face marred with insanity and tears, do you feel that your heart skip a beat. They look good with hate twisting their soft and gentle features. They look so adorable as their eyes become wet and red with tears and blood. They look so delightful when they sob and growl as they continue to bash your kneecaps.

You are supposed to be feeling pain.

There is a theory you read that when humans experience so much pain beyond their limits of tolerance the person does not feel it. Stimuli overriding the nerves and senses that the person just becomes so numb to it.

Maybe you crossed the threshold of it already as you just feel the lightheaded.

Does the theory even apply to you?

Afterall, you never even thought of yourself as one of them. You could always look beautiful enough. You could always mimic their behavior to the best. You could replicate the twinkle in their eyes and yet. There is always something wrong with you.

You’re only a mess of organs. A casket made of flesh. A jumble of limbs. All to contain nothing but raging madness. You feel it sometimes. Licking the part of your brain and whispers, tickling you with thoughts so vile you can’t even understand it half the time. But sometimes it screams and during those moments you contemplate bashing your head on a rock and watch as blood and brain viscera scatter like red fireworks.

But you don’t feel the madness right now. Pleasant numbness coating you in warmth and comfort.

You can’t really remember what happened that lead to this situation. Them above you, ramming a steel chair on your lower half. Did you even fight back? Did you injure them? Did you curse at them first or did they?

No, you don’t want to think about that, you just want to revel in this moment on how they look so lovely covered in your blood. Yours.

How beautifully tortured they look right now.

So beautiful as they look broken, so so broken by your hands.

You stare at them determined to commit the image to your memory. You will your synapses to work, embedding them to a part of your mind that not even the sickness would touch it.

They were supposed to be another pretty thing to play with. They were so cute and foolish enough to be swayed by your words and touch. Just like the rest, it was so so easy.

And yet here you are underneath them on the cold hard floor covered with your warm blood. Instead of defeat or rage, it is ecstasy that fills you. A sense of pride swells inside. This feeling so exhilarating, gratifying, making you giddy with the excitement.

Is this the love the people spoke about? Then you can understand it now, like puzzle pieces placing themselves until a sense of completion fills you.

You never felt like this before. So whole. So full.

For a moment you are not broken. You are not insane. You are not a disgusting mimicry of everything that is wrong with the world.

You want more. You need more. More...more…

More of what?

More of them.

Of their hate, their ruthlessness, their violence, their cruelty.

Give them all to me, Deziree…

I’ll take it all.

Give me everything that is wrong with you and I’ll kiss it, cherish it, nurture it.

Thank you for existing Deziree, now I don’t have to be alone.

Now, I have someone I can drag with me to the pits of hell.

A siren blares in the background. Shouts of composed terror echo outside. Loud enough to pierce through the cloud of your deliriousness. It seemed to have the same effect to Deziree too as their eyes began to shine with clarity. Horror, regret, disgust, quickly replacing the ferocity of their wrath.

No!

You will not this moment to be over yet! For the first time you felt your heart soar, you felt complete, a sense of belongingness together with them. You can’t let it be over so soon! You simply can’t.

Along with the clarity, the madness began to whisper again. Its tendrils crawling their way to consume any resemblance of sanity left from the previous moment. It offers a way to make the most out of the moment. A way to bind both of you for life. A perfect ending for this absolute freak show.

Your stomach tightens pleasantly. You felt your spine shiver in excitement. Electricity tingles down to your- oh you can’t feel your toes anymore. Nevermind.

Mustering up your strength, your bloodied hands reached over to their face.

Eyes on me.

Only me.

Their attention is now back to you. And you feel complete again.

Oh, how far have you fallen?

You give them a weak smile to which they reciprocate with a blank stare. Mind racing, rationalizing what just happened, remembering the moments that lead them here. Just how did things get this bad? The ever loving Deziree…

You can see them shivering, are they cold? You were the one who’s meant to be cold, considering the blood loss, you are certain you’re going to die if left to your own devices. Well, if that will be the end, why not have some fun.

Your hand slides down to their arms. Their muscles underneath taut with tension and through the stormy expression you can see as clear as day the gradient of emotions. Madness, rage, confusion, love, tenderness, all hues of suffering flicking from one to another. You could sit here all day and watch them in reverence.

They have never been more beautiful as they are now.

Your hands connect with theirs, your smile widening even bigger as your fingers intertwine. You’d be blushing like a fair maiden if it wasn’t for all blood gushing out of you. If your head would have been any clearer, you would question the absurdity of the situation, but its not. It’s filled with chemicals actively trying to keep you alive. The kind that makes you high in glee.

You would also have half the mind to check your own condition being on the brink of death. And you would remedy that immediately. You’re far too smart to be killed aren’t you?

But not this time.

There is nothing as important as you and him in this little corner of the world you marked with red.

His eyes track your movement with the accuracy of a hawk. Then finally, you place his hand around your throat. You’re now a willing prey, baring their most vulnerable to a bloodthirsty predator.

There was no need to wait, their hands immediately applied pressure on your neck. Their fingers that previously held warmth and care now ice cold and harsh. It squeezes your carotid veins, blocking your air until you feel yourself turn blue in seconds if it wasn’t for the blood loss. They grit their teeth even more as a small moan spilled from your lips. Did he take it as a sign of pleasure or pain? You would lick your lips if he could, but you could only manage a pained smile.

“Disgusting. Evil. Vile. Why?! I loved you! I trusted you! And you used me! Ruined me!” they sob.

There were no thoughts in your head. Not a whisper of regret or remorse. You are only staring at him, pupils blown at how beautiful he is under the alternating blues and reds from the window. You now choke and as survival instinct begins to kick in and you thrash. You dig your fingers into their wrists in an attempt to let you go.

You know this is futile and this can cause even more damage to your neck than it already has. But still your body moves in self-preservation. Your mind and body disagreeing in the most beautiful way. You are dying no doubt about that, but by the Gods do you feel so alive.

You feel the precious air being taken away from you. Your blood rushing to your head. Your life slipping away at their hands. It makes you appreciate these little things when you are on death’s door.

Your body begs them to stop, trying to pry away their hands, to push them away from you. You feel the heat of them against you. Your body screams for mercy. But you don’t and you will never want that now, don’t you?

Please don’t let go.

Please hold me.

Please kill me.

“You deserve this. I did nothing wrong! The world will be better without you. I hope you burn in hell,” they spat.

You wheeze as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. The lack of oxygen and blood finally hitting you as you feel your consciousness ebb away.

A bang echoed the walls of the room from the door opening harshly, footsteps and harsh voices goes in. The weight on top of you was then pulled away, you whimpered at the loss. Practiced and efficient hands began to land on you to check on your condition and at the edge of your vision, see that they had restrained Deziree a few feet away from you.

Face planted on the red floor as they thrash against the restraints of police, their voice panicked but their bloodlust evident from the string of curses they release in your direction. The officers are successful in putting them in their place.

You are promptly carried away. The paramedics dons a concerned expression as they talk ensuring to keep your consciousness awake. You close your eyes only replying in tired hums. You don’t have to look at yourself to see that you’re all levels of bad for seasoned healers to panic.

And even though you can’t see, you feel the people’s righteous fury and sympathy for you like water. From the officers to your neighbors who watches from the sidelines parched and in need of some new gossip to talk about. You can already pinpoint their thoughts, their sadness, relief, worry at how such a young thing was already subjected to the cruelty of such a harsh world.

The human mind is truly such a wonder. People will determine who received the most injury, who is more sympathetic, unnecessary details that help them fuel their own beliefs. Twisting it to suit their own narratives. You can hear them talk words that will end up being printed by tomorrow’s newspaper. And that made you sneer in amusement inwardly.

Because they have never been so wrong than equate you to a pitiful little victim.

It was a good thing the old lady next door was fond of gossips. You made a show of yourself spilling your relationship problems acting all teary and vulnerable, not-so-subtly hinting that you may be in possible danger. So, when the crash and fight started you were sure they were the one who called the police on time.

The strangling part was seriously a last-minute plan, the blood loss making you all loopy and droopy. The police force has body cameras attached to them. Meaning that they have caught Deziree strangling a person on camera. A person who in addition, mutilated your legs you might need it amputated and end up a cripple for the rest of your life.

You shrug. You’re plenty resourceful. You can imagine the opportunity it presents.

Mutilation, strangulation, and the other deeds of Deziree will be revealed in the court. Even if they plead not guilty, the evidence will stack upon them one by one, drowning in proof that you orchestrated like an elaborate game of chess. There is such a thing we call as falsified truths.

Deziree will be hated, scrutinized, their entire being skinned and every part of him will be laid bare for others to see and judge.  You mentally calculate and figured they’re going to prison for 10 years give or take. 10 years of living in hell that you personally decorated.

You can taste their pain already. Their expression falling at the verdict of the judge. People cursing their name both inside and outside the bars. And even when they are alone, they’ll never be rid of you. Making sure that their thoughts will always be haunted by the image of you. You only you. What a pretty mental cage you put them in.

There was no regret or remorse as you allowed yourself to smile.

Not one of pleasure nor pain.

It is simply a smile of victory.

Deziree came close, but it’s not enough. They’ll have to become stronger, smarter, better. You needed a drive, you needed them to improve to beat the game you have designed. They might go to prison but you’re far too smart from thinking this is all over. They’ll come back, you know they would.

You inflicted just the right amount of pain for them to persevere. Not too much that they would give up and think that this is all pointless. Not too little that they won’t grow from this. Every factor of this event, taken into account into your pretty little head, all for what?

For an elaborate game of course.

A game that will not begin until later. But you don’t worry, after all patience is truly a virtue especially in this sense. Even though you’re already achingly awaiting the moment.

The cards are dealt, the stakes are ready, and the table is prepared for all the players that will be involved.

You’re already buzzing with excitement. You wonder what they will become. What kind of monster have you created? What kind of chaos and destruction will they bring? How much will be left of you when they’re done? Or will there be any left?

How you long to see it already.

Them in their full potential to end you.

Ah, see, you can be a romantic after all.

[ryuichirou]

Hello!! I'm too shy to send you this out of anon, but I wanted to let you know how much I admire you. I'm a TWST artist myself, and I like certain problematic tropes and pairings. I also want to draw nsfw of my favorite ships, but I'm too afraid of doing it. The anti movement in fandoms is too overwhelming and I'm scared of people going after me. I don't mind kids yelling at me for drawing teens doing what most teens do nowadays (like sex) but everything has escalated so far that people are willing to doxx you and ruin your life over what you ship or draw, and that's what I'm scared of. I know that you probably get nasty messages and people bothering you, but seeing you and Katsu continue creating regardless of what people might say gives me encouragement to post whatever I want. And you seem to be a sunshine of a person, not to mention that your art is amazing. I wish I could post daily as you but sometimes I'm a little bit lazy and I yet need more confidence even if I've been drawing since I was a teen. Anyways, sorry if this got longer, but thank you for contributing amazing art to the TWST fandom. (I'm also into Hetalia and SnK!!! Seeing that you like DenNor made my day haha)

Sending you and Katsu my best regards!

First of all, thank you so much for your support and for your kindness, Anon. And thank you for messaging us at all about this topic, even if anonymously. I think this is a very important thing to talk about, and your message honestly made us kind of emotional. It was a bad idea to read it before going to bed lol

Just like you said, the anti movement is honestly psychotic. I feel like a lot of people who participate in it simply don’t realise the weight of their actions and words, which make sense, because the majority of them are very young; and the ones that are adults are usually quite deranged and dangerous. It’s not rare for their actions to lead to horrible consequences, but I guess this is nothing new. It used to be overbearing conservative parents, now it’s some kids with too much free time. That being said, these days we see more and more people who ignore, criticize or ridicule the antis for their hypocrisy, and this is very nice to see.

We really do get quite a lot of hate, but honestly, we used to get even more stupid comments, even though we haven’t been hated with such passion before. But still, the support we’re getting now is also much more impactful and vocal than what we used to get. There also are people who aren’t even into our ships, but would defend us just because of what this whole thing represents: their own right to do whatever they want when it comes to fiction.

Our personal thing is that we’re just way too spoiled and self-indulgent with stuff that we like. Even if it meant that we’d never get hate, we would be miserable if we had to restrict ourselves for the sake of others; and I know that because we tried. So the worst thing that could happen is that we’ll stop posting, but we’ll still continue creating, because it gives us too much joy to give it up just because someone has no friends at school and wants to impress other antis with their sick (moronic) post when they completely miss the point of our content and ignore our 18+ warnings.

So yeah, I hope you’ll remember what you love about drawing and keep doing whatever you want, even if you don’t post it. But I also think that, if you’re comfortable at any point, you should also post it. You can create an account with no link to your regular acc and your personal info whatsoever and post whatever you want there. You could still get hate, but at least it will be safer and without any high stakes, although I understand you might feel fear because people could recognise your artstyle and connect the dots.

Also preventive bans work wonderfully. If we stumble upon a post that has certain aggressive messages (you know the ones), we simply block everyone who interacted with that post. It takes time, but it’s worth it, I think. Hell, people use “call-out” (because there is nothing to call out, we’ve stated everything plainly ourselves) posts with us to block people.

Also also, ironically, ignoring the hate also kind of helps… I know it’s easy to say, and it’s not a 100% guarantee, but we just think that people are more prone to attacking you if you react to hate in any way. So the best thing is literally to just block and delete it. Oh, and always report it if it gets aggressive – this could do nothing, but it could also bitchslap them out of nowhere lol

Anyways… I am very grateful and glad if we could give you any type of reassurance and comfort with our posts. I hope to see your stuff one day, and I hope there’ll be more people who post whatever they want, so fandoms can become healthier again.

And I’m very happy you like Hetalia and SnK too, especially DenNor! <3

Thank you again from both of us, and I hope you’re having a good day.

[anonzentimes]

LONG ASS ASK INKOMING ZEN so its super cold in brazil today so typing is a little hard and there might be weird typos fkshdkjd but

when i was like 14 i had online friends that were also 14 and were into danganronpa but all they talked abt was the flaws of the series and how much they hated the more problematic aspects of it, it was a constant wave of gender discourse and sexuality discourse and nagito is a bad portrayal of mental illnesses and miu iruma is too sexual and this character is bad cause of xyz and that character is bad because of this and that and honestly whatever the fuck else you can argue about this series about, whenever i mentioned that danganronpa seemed fun and id like to get into it my friends would tell me that its not worth it, that the series is fucking horrid that i should run the other way and be glad i never entered the hellhole that is being a danganronpa fan

so thanks to this and like constant fucking weird shit coming out of the hell hole that is the fucking dr fandom on Twitter for like, four whole years I straight up didn't touch the series. a series that I was so fully aware that I would love btw, because i was always into gorey art and i found the art of dr so pretty and the characters had such intresting designs and the pink blood was so cool and i love the killing game genre and the mystery solving aspect, of danganronpa seemed so cool, i did not go near this series with a fucking 10-ft Pole

until literally maybe some months ago at 18 years old a streamer I like said on stream something like "oh yeah danganronpa is fucking awesome im so glad i played it" and I was like fuck it, this guy has high standards, if he likes it it cant be that bad. and so I downloaded trigger happy havoc and i was so pleasantly surprised by it, sure case 2 is a case that exists but like other than that i immediately fell in love with this franchise, i loved almost everything about the game, then i started sdr2 and nagito took over every single part of my brain within 0.2 seconds of gameplay AND DR2 IS SO PEAK JUST IN GENERAL udg was super fucking fun i love touko and komarus relationship and the warriors of hope so much, dr3 was awsome even if i didnt really care for future arc despair hope and 2.5 were awasome the end of drv3 hit me like a truck and it genuenly took me a couple hours to understand that my beloved class 77b wasnt just retconned out of existence and currently im trying to kill executive dysfunction and procrastination and read dr0 and again want to replay dr2 cause my hyperfixated ass would rather play the game when she should be alseep to know what happens next than play it when she isn't too tired to understand whats happening lmao

and after i was done with the series i sat down and thought about how i let 14 year olds on the internet who im not even friends with anymore keep me away from something that now i hold so dear and close to my heart, and i wonder how many people who would love danganronpa will never give the series a chance because not only does the wider interner find it cringe but the fandom constantly tell potential new fans to stay away and act like its the worst midea ever written, the way some people are unable to enjoy what they love without guilt is so sad because not only does it affect them but also others

and this is super personal but i wonder how danganronpa would have impacted me if i got into it back when i found out about it at 14, how much different having danganronpa to hang on to would have made my life when i was burning out at school because i was trying to survive neurodivergency hell with undiagnosed autism and possible adhd

dangabronpa is awsome i love it so so much

YOU JUST MADE ME FEEL SO UNBELIEVABLY YOUNG OH MY GOD. I HEARD ABOUT DANGANRONPA WHEN I WAS 11 I'M PRETTY SURE AHHHH HAHA!!! Overall I think this raises a good lesson that we should trust our guts and from our own opinions on media. Look into things you're curious about, learn if it's worth it yourself, and come to your own conclusions! I feel bad for those who never get to understand Nagito Komaeda, let alone know he exists. This franchise has some negatives but the positives outweigh the issues entirely to me and I wish people gave it more of a chance. dangabronpa is awsome INDEED lmfao.