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oftenderweapons · 3 years

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Mold Me New (3) — Taehyung

A Small Town Swoons Story

Pairing: Taehyung x reader (nicknamed Frog — for now)

Wordcount: 3.7k

Genre: ceramic artist!Taehyung, divorced!reader, Strangers to Lovers, Fluff, Angst, Slice of Life

Rating: 18+ (for future smut and explicit thoughts)

Hello to my readers!!! Welcome to the Small Town Swoons Universe! 🥰✨

In this episode: Terry has given very generic instructions to Frog about how to retrieve her birthday gift. A more then welcome surprise follows.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: None. (Wow. I’m shocked.)

Once more let me thank potter supreme @joheunsaram (I’d be wandering in darkness and despair without you. Lob U)

Here is my complete masterlist and in case you need it, here’s the Spotify music companion.

Navi: Chapter 1 — Chapter 2 — Chapter 3 — Chapter 4 — Chapter 5 — Chapter 6 — Chapter 7

“Hello?”

You felt deeply embarrassed venturing into the backyard of a stranger.

“Excuse me? Hello?”

The heavy sound of something slamming against the floor of a garage had you slightly worried. You were ready to run away when the door opened. The neighbourhood wasn’t familiar to you and Terry’s refusal to tell you anything about the specific address she had given you scared you even more.

You feared you’d end up at one of Terry’s friends with benefit’s house.

You changed your mind, however, when you recognised the man standing out of the door.

“Frog? Is that you?”

“Taehyung?” You said, recalling the name of the man. You had met him only a couple days before, spending a good time with his friends while your own had ditched you.

“Hello Frog!” He exclaimed, incredibly happy to see you. “Are you here for a four pm meeting?”

“All I know is that Terry told me to be here by four. She gave me the address but,” you laughed, shaking your head and touching your hair nervously. “She didn’t mention it was you. She didn’t say anything. She only said it was a surprise.”

Taehyung’s laugh exploded suddenly, deep and loud. “That explains many, many things.” He nodded to himself, waiting for you to get closer. “Welcome to my studio,” he said, letting the door open a bit wider.

The space inside was bright and airy, with a wall that resembled a glasshouse, while the others were made of brick and lined with shelves. In a corner you noticed a strange contraption, like an iron cauldron, and an unfamiliar machine close to a basin. There was also a large table all along the glass wall, like it was waiting for plants to be hosted, but none were found.

“With me you’ll learn the humble, raw art of modelling clay.”

You turned to him with a furrowed brow, completely confused. “Clay?”

“Yes. Clay.”

“You model clay?” You asked, giving him an amused look.

“I am an artist,” he stated clearly. “I also model clay but that’s not all I do.”

“So that’s my gift? A clay lesson?”

“Ten clay lessons. I’ll make you an intermediate.” Taehyung reached a wooden cabinet, opening it and taking out a large block of clay, grabbing something from his apron and detaching a smaller part before putting the clay back in the cabinet. “But first, let me get you an apron.”

You felt your eyes blink in confusion. “You teach?”

“Art should answer anyone’s calls, in my opinion. I help people learn how to call.”

You were positively impressed. The quiet, if a bit Darcy-esque man, seemed relaxed and talkative in his natural habitat.

Taehyung reached a coat hook on the wall, giving a good look at you before choosing a garment suitable for your height. “This should do,” he said, offering it to you and letting you put it on.

You appreciated the independence he allowed you, allowing you to wear it yourself. You hung your tote on the now free hook and slipped your arms and head into the different loops before closing the tie around your waist in a cute ribbon.

“You'll want to fix your hair before your hands get messy,” Taehyung suggested, watching you carefully get it out of harm's way, since the last thing you wished for was dirt in your hair.

“You didn’t mention you teach art the other night.”

He smiled shyly. “The night you introduced yourself, I remembered I had gift lessons booked under your name. I wanted your birthday surprise to stay a surprise.”

You were entirely endeared at the thought. “That’s very sweet of you!” You exclaimed, watching him collect the piece of clay he had previously cut.

“It’s not a big deal,” he murmured, looking away as his cheeks blushed.

He was eager to watch you learn. He already felt like your hands could have so much potential. He had studied them all night after he met you, watching the sinewy fingers arch and straighten and hold and curve. “Okay, let’s start from a little bit of theory.”

He moved to the table by the window, “Would you mind grabbing a bowl with some water, there?” He pointed to a large utility sink in one of the corners, where you found a bowl and filled it halfway with water.

You made a careful work of walking to the table, placing down the bowl and sighing in relief once you realised you had caused no issues so far.

“Two questions. Have you ever used clay before?”

You snorted and shook your head. “Nope.”

“So you supposedly know nothing about it?”

“Exactly.”

He chuckled and bobbed his head. “That’s okay. All you need to know so far, is that clay is a mineral, and it can have different compositions which make it more or less difficult to model and to cook. I’ll have you use very generic clay, which is suitable for beginners, isn’t too picky about cooking and will look a bit plain, but is also pretty easy to shape. You’ll thank me later.”

You raised your eyebrows and smiled.

“It’s easy to work with, it cooks at low temperature and is also cheap, which will make it better if you ever choose to continue this hobby,” he explained. “It will take a fairly long time for you to master several techniques with this one, so no use spending money on fancy stuff. We’ll keep that for when you’re an upper intermediate. All cool?” He asked, checking in on you with his beautiful, dark eyes.

He had very pretty eyes, you noticed.

“Yes, got that.” You confirmed, startling when he slammed the clay against the table.

“Cool.” He replied with half a grin. “Let’s start from zero.”

Once more he extracted a tool from the pocket of his apron, showing it to you. “This is a wire. You’ll find one in your apron too.”

You rummaged in the pocket and found it. “This will help you with step one — Wait. Lemme start from very very zero.”

He walked back to the cabinet and dragged a block of clay out — the one he’d cut a piece from a few minutes ago. “This is called craft clay or potters’ clay. It’s ready-made and you can buy it in any diy shop. Some artists make their own mix, but let’s start with this since it’s specifically made for learners.”

“It looks very tough,” you commented, testing the small amount he’d cut before, prodding it with your finger.

“It just needs some love,” he explained, pouting sadly. “Clay is so misunderstood. It needs to be firm. But it’s pliable, as long as you treat it appropriately.”

You arched your eyebrows. “I just thought it was softer. Messier, somehow.”

“It is once you wedge it and moisturise it.” Taehyung acknowledged. “Clay contains platelets. Platelets make it solid, but also plastic as long as it’s not dry. Right now you have two enemies. Shape memory and air.”

Taehyung’s hands got on the piece instinctively. “Today I’ll only manage to explain wedging and centering. So be careful and pay attention. If you mess up wedging, your life will get ten times more impossible on the wheel. Let’s start.” He brought the main block back in the cabinet. “That one needs to stay fresh.”

Once at the table he settled beside you. “What’s wedging?” You asked, staring at your piece of clay.

“Wedging is your starting point. As you saw earlier, ready- made clay comes in blocks. Which means square. On the wheel, you’ll always start from a cute soft ball. Which means round.”

Taehyung’s hands massaged the clay for comfort. He felt somehow uneasy at the way he was going to interact with you. “Basically clay holds memory of the shape it was in. You want to erase it to make it more pliable. Like… When an introvert is in their comfort zone for too long and you need to get them back in society and you just… force them in several different social circumstances to warm them up, make them more versatile. More sociable.”

God, he felt ridiculous. He was using his inner turmoil to explain pottery.

He was going to defenestrate himself.

“Okay,” you laughed. “I got the introvert thing. I like the parallel.” You smiled and for a second you thought about all the years you’d been there, shaped like a block to fit inside someone’s life — or to fit them in yours.

You could use some wedging too.

“We usually wedge on plaster, or concrete or wood, because they get the extra water out of the clay. You want it to be a tiny bit humid. But not wet.” Taehyung spread his large hands over the small disk in front of him. “You want to make it more homogeneous. Uniform. For today let’s use the ram’s head method. It’s basically like kneading dough.”

His hair fell over his eyes as he bent down, leaning towards the table. “We have a small amount of clay, since you’re starting. You basically want it to become a thick block first.”

He bent the disk in two, turning it in a thicker, longer rectangle before placing his hands to the opposite sides and pressing, making the clay become more compact.

“Okay, try,” he invited you to do the same.

You mimicked his actions, focusing on the cold, solid feeling of the material under your fingertips.

“Use your palms. Don’t be afraid to get your whole hands on it. You’ll need all your strength.”

You nodded and followed his lead, the cold expanding to your palms, the feeling amplifying beautifully. It was somehow reinvigorating after the initial strangeness.

“Good. Now. Ram’s head.” He inhaled and regained his position. “These,” he said, wiggling his fingers, “and these,” he explained circling his hand around his shoulder. “That’s where you want to focus. All your strength resides there. You won’t feel it right now, but you will once you work with larger pieces.” He steadied himself and placed his palms on the sides of the piece. “Palms on the sides. Your wrists will do all the work. Your thumbs wrap around the top of the piece. The other fingers on the back of the piece. Focus on the wrists. You want to push the clay downwards first, then outwards, to the back of the piece. Okay. Position your hands.”

Taehyung stood straight up, allowing you to see his clay, on top of which he was previously bent over.

“I’m not…” You frowned and tried to feel the clay under your hands, trying to recognise the different sides.

“It’s okay. May I?” He asked, bringing his right hand close to yours.

You nodded, waiting for the contact.

It was chalky, somehow, almost dusty with the way the clay was already drying up, but it still held some cold dampness.

He corrected your fingers, staring at them and giving them a slight twist. “This way your wrists should reach just fine.”

He stood at your side, respecting your personal space even though his hand touched you. The smile on his face was the gentlest, most exciting thing you had felt in a while.

“Okay, mirror it with your left,” he told you as he stepped back, regaining his own space.

“This feels nice,” you admitted, giving the first twist of your wrist.

“Let’s see if you still think so after wedging for twenty minutes,” Taehyung chuckled.

“Twenty minutes!?” You said, already worried.

He giggled and shook his head, his curls brushing against his forehead, which you didn’t notice, because you were too busy focusing on the clay under your hands.

“Ten, usually. Twenty if you need very pliable clay. Like if you’re doing hand-building. But we can use something a bit rougher.” Taehyung helped you get out of the position your clay body was stuck in. “Help it with your fingers. Bring it back, yes,” he encouraged you once the position was right. “And now your wrists. Exactly. Look at you. You’re learning!”

He looked excited when you turned to look at him. He was literally shining with the meek sunlight coming from the window.

“I’m learning!” Your excitement mirrored his own.

“Okay, now, watch. This is why it’s called ram’s head.” Taehyung showed you the spiral on the sides, and the elongated triangle on the front.

“That looks fancy!” You said, feeling curious about the shape.

“Keep going and yours will be just like this!” He spurred you on, making you work harder and faster, which eventually led you to the ruthless burning that possessed your arms afterwards.

With his elbow, Taehyung pointed at your shoulder blade. “Just push your body weight into the clay. The whole motion should mimic a wave,” he showed you how. “If your hands are positioned right, you only need to lean in to wedge— Just. Like. That! Good job, Frog!”

You smiled and went on, paying attention to his corrections, and his gentle advice, enjoying the gentleness with which his pinkie finger pointed to a specific direction, or a finger that was in the wrong position, realigning it.

“Nice! Now, tuck the corners in in a cute fluffy ball. See how soft and warm and round it feels now?”

You nodded enthusiastically. There was something in menial tasks that always made you happy with yourself. Seeing the results of your efforts and hard work always made you feel accomplished, productive.

And it’s been a while since you felt that rush, except for seeing an organised shelf in your shop, with books neatly aligned and rated.

“Okay. I’ll show you how to work the wheel. We got little time left, so maybe I can show you the groundwork and then you can toy around with the body I centred, so you can get familiar with the feeling.”

You agreed.

Taehyung gave a few more twists to your clay body and brought it to the wheel. “Okay. Here we go. Forget Ghost, this thing is a lot more difficult than that. And forget all that water. Too messy. Bowl?” He asked.

Your forehead creased as he pointed to a small stand with a basin. It looked like a short version of a vintage stand for those porcelain bowls used in bedrooms.

You moved it closer to him.

“Thank you,” he smiled and caught the clay body, throwing it on the middle of the turning plate, currently still as he hadn’t yet activated the wheel.

“You can aim for the centre. There’s an indentation to show it. See,” he pointed to the plate. “There are all these circles to show you if you’re actually following the shape.”

He dipped a finger in the bowl, letting the extra water drip down, until it was just slightly damp. “You run around the base to seal it. That way you don’t need to slam it down and you don’t risk watching it unstick and mess around with you.”

“Okay. Great!”

“Now. Position is very important. With your legs you hold the holster and the wheel. Don’t worry about getting too close. Check three things. Knees around the wheel. Elbows braced on your thighs — that will stabilise you. And your torso leans forward. Not angled but perpendicular to the wheel. You need to be right on top of it, so your weight sinks down. Not across.” He showed you the correct position, his lean frame protecting the ball of clay like a hen defends her chicks.

Watching him become so tactile and connected with the material under his hands was endearing, but also fascinating, especially with the way his hands wrapped around the body.

“Okay, let me centre it for you, then you can try. It’s a procedure that can go back and forth, so I’ll have you doing this over and over for a few times. It will help you familiarise with it.”

“Thank you,” you replied, watching his fingers sink in the water. “Now, trick. You wet your hands. Let them drip down just a little, so you don’t drench your piece. If the piece is drenched, the platelets will loosen and the walls of your cup, bowl, vase, whatever will collapse. And we don’t want that, right?”

The way his head snapped towards you with an inquisitive look made you shake your head and reply readily, “nope.”

“Exactly. So, we sink our hands in, rest, and— one, two three, drip and—” he moved his hands over the clay body, letting a few tens of droplets fall onto the material. “Nice and wet. Not sodden, of course. We don’t want that, remember?”

You blinked and nodded as his hands started moving.

Taehyung grinned as he noticed your captivated gaze. You were learning. You were curious, interested, completely amazed. It was the most satisfying look he had ever seen. “This is your treasure now. You curl yourself around it and protect it. Like a dragon hoards its gold.”

He leaned down into the piece, his foot looking for the pedal and pressing it down very, very delicately.

“Your pinkies and ring fingers are doing all the work right now. They seal around the base, reinforcing the sealing we did before. Once you gave enough spins around the base — oh, feel the plate with the side of your pinkie and palm!” He reminded himself, showing you the part of his hand and securing it around the wheel once more. He corrected his position. “You will feel the clay push you up. That’s when your palms close in. You want to make sure it goes up.”

The wheel suddenly stopped and Taehyung showed you the result. “See. Cute mushroom shape. A two inch stem, and then the round hat.”

You bent down to check and studied the way the table started spinning slowly again, showing you the consistent shape.

“More water. Same technique.” He repeated the dip-drip process. “Now. Pinkies stay in. Lots of pressure. And your palms are going to push the hat of the mushroom up. You want it to turn into a cone. So once the hat disappears, you’re gonna keep your hands steady, with a lot of pressure, and drag them up, slowly. And bend them inwards slightly, into a tip.” He followed the process with his hands, his fingers steady and his veins thicker at the effort and the pressure. The way his elbows braced against his hands brought even more blood to the back of his palms.

Still, you didn’t let that cloud your focus. You stared at the process, especially once he stopped the wheel and took his hands off.

“Now we’re bringing it downwards with the thumbs. We’re helping it regain the center. This,” he prodded the ball of his thumb, the soft part where the finger could sink, “is the part that gains the centre. You push it down, while your fingers lean over. Like you’re projecting energy from your palms.” He finished showing the procedure, showing how the ball of clay was a perfectly round dome, placed in the exact middle of the wheel.

“Now you take the lead!” He turned to you with a grin.

With a shy blush you watched him stand up and gesture to the seat elegantly.

You settled down and fixed your position around the wheel, following the instructions he had given you previously.

“That’s nice. Closer.” He corrected you helping your seat closer to the holster of the wheel.

“Now we’re ready to go. Wet your hands—” he directed you, helping you count the dip and drip. “Steady.”

You placed your pinkies tightly around the base, feeling the dome a bit too large for your hands. That’s because it was shaped for his large hands.

“Yes. Steady,” he encouraged you. “Go.”

The taglist is open!

Navi: Chapter 1 — Chapter 2 — Chapter 3 — Chapter 4 — Chapter 5 — Chapter 6 — Chapter 7

#taehyung fluff #taehyung x reader #kim taehyung fanfiction #thetruthuntoldnet #thebtswritersclub #Taehyung strangers to lovers

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farfromtommy · 4 years

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home (sebastian stan x fem!reader)

not my gif

summary: sebastian is interviewed during quarantine and is asked about life at home with his wife and kids

a/n: i was so ready to post my first draft of this and it was 2800 words and i read it again and hated it and deleted so much stuff but wrote even more now its 3600 words WHAT AM I DOINGGG. i read a fic in this sort of style and absolutley loved it. i don’t remember who wrote it but i believe it was a chris evans x reader. if you know what it is please let me know! the italics are the interviewer and regular text is sebastian! thanks for reading in advance! this was mildly edited for grammatical mistakes i will edit it soon i have so much school work i’ve fallen behind on but spent hours writing this oop

wordcount: 2,800

masterlist

taglist

Sebastian! It is really good to see you. How are you? How is life at home?

-Hey! It’s good to see you, too. I’m doing pretty well, considering. I have

nothing to complain about. I’m here with my wife and kids and we’re enjoying this time with each other.

How is everyone at home handling the madness?

-We’re all doing fairly well. It’s not easy having to change our routines so drastically, especially with 2 toddlers. They were frustrated with us and we were frustrated with them at first, but we adjusted and are trying to take it day by day.

As you know, we’re doing these interviews with a handful of celebrities, talking a little about their lives as parents during these unprecedented times. As a fairly new father, we were interested to see how things have been in the Stan household and a little more about your family life. Thank you for allowing us to ask you these questions. I know you keep your personal life private from the public.

-I don’t mind at all, I love talking about them. I could go on and on about them for days, so ask away.

How did you meet your wife, Y/N?

-I met her through a mutual friend. They had this party that we were both invited to and had introduced us. I believe she had gotten out of a pretty serious relationship not too long before we met, and from the get-go was not interested in talking to me at all.

How long before she gave you a chance?

-After a few drinks I went up to her and told her if she didn’t want to go out with me she didn’t have to, but that I heard so many great things about her and wanted to get to know her better. We exchanged numbers and we talked on the phone almost daily and when she was ready, I took her out on a date. The rest is history.

Where did meeting her fall into your life career-wise? What were you working on when you met her?

-We met in April of 2014, so I believe Cap 2 had just premiered and I was signing on to do The Martian and The Bronze.

Was she a fan of any of your work before you met?

-She had told me on one of those phone calls before we had officially started dating that she was a fan of shows like Pretty Little Liars, New Girl and was a huge fan of Gossip Girl, which I was on for a considerable amount of time, and I guess she didn’t realize it until I said something about it. Very early on I had promised to cook her dinner so she went to my place and we had dinner and then drank too much wine and watched a handful of the episodes I was in. The whole time she couldn’t get over how different I looked.

I’ve seen the pictures of you two at your movie premieres, does she like going to those with you?

-She loves it when we dress up and go somewhere nice, so premieres are right up her alley. She doesn’t participate in the interviews or anything but loves walking the carpet with me and standing in front of the photographers. I always have her close to me and I’ll be saying things to her to make her laugh, which in turn makes me laugh. We get good shots out of those moments.

What was the very first premiere you took her to?

-Our first premiere was probably Civil War. I had taken her to some film festivals and other events before but that was our first big movie premiere together. We actually got married shortly after that premiere.

I remember when you both walked out on the carpet at the Toronto Film Festival in 2017 for the premiere of I, Tonya, you had a pretty big surprise for everyone.

-Indeed we did. Y/N was about 34 weeks pregnant with our twin girls when we went and that's how we announced it! She was nervous about everything that day but she looked phenomenal and stole the carpet. We have a joke that she’s always pregnant when we go because she was 16 or 17 weeks along with our son when we went for the premiere of Endings, Beginnings in 2019.

That is amazing, I didn’t know that!

-No one did except for us, until now!

What would she say has been her favorite movie you’ve been in?

-That’s a hard one. Every time a new movie comes out with me in it, she says it’s her favorite. But I think it would have to be between Endings, Beginnings or Hot Tub Time Machine.

Hot Tub Time Machine is definitely the right answer to that question.

-I agree!

Let’s talk a little bit about your kids. You have 2 daughters and a son?

-Yes! Y/N and I had our twin girls, Genevieve and Elena, in 2017 and our son Luca earlier this year.

You sent me a few pictures of them and they are beautiful. Congratulations to you and Y/N on the new baby. How is everyone adjusting to the new addition?

-Thank you! I think now that we have a somewhat steady routine now, it’s a little easier for all of us. He’s only 3 months old so he’s still waking up every few hours to eat and it was hard on us for the first few weeks since we still have 2 toddlers requiring our attention as long as their eyes are open. But being home all the time and not working at all has given us the time we needed to establish a new routine for us with an extra person in our home. Y/N and I are a great team and work well together.

Do the girls help you guys out at all with Luca?

-They love helping Y/N with Luca. We bought them some of those creepy baby alive dolls that you can feed and change their diapers when we first found out she was pregnant, and they were thrilled. Once we brought them home they couldn’t believe they had a real baby to take care of. It’s the sweetest thing ever.

What kind of things do they do?

-Y/N is breastfeeding Luca, so she’ll sit on the rocking chair in our bedroom or on the couch and is confined to that spot for however long he eats for and she always gets super thirsty while doing it. So I bought her this water bottle that keeps her water cold and is easy to carry around when she’s holding him, but she never remembers to fill it before she sits down to feed him, so they will run to the kitchen and fill it for her. Or if she forgets her phone in the bedroom, they’ll go and grab it for her. They sit next to her and talk to Luca about their cartoons or anything they think of. When I’m on diaper duty, they grab the wipes for me and help me pick out his new outfit. Gen loves picking out his clothes and Elena helps me put them on him.

That is amazing, you and Y/N are raising some pretty wonderful kids.

-They are pretty remarkable, they take after their mom.

Who do your kids take after, looks-wise?

-The girls look more and more like Y/N every day. Her parents sent us pictures from when she was their age and it’s scary how identical the three of them are. Luca is starting to look a little bit like how I did when I was a baby, I’m super pumped about that. They all have blue eyes very similar to mine, and all have my cleft chin.

Is it safe to say Gen and Elena are daddy’s girls and Luca is a mama’s boy?

-Absolutely. There are days when I cannot get Luca to relax and stop fussing but the minute he hears Y/N’s voice, he’s calm and it’s like nothing is wrong. His favorite place in the world is on her chest with his ear against her heart. He loves to stare at her whenever she’s holding him or if I’m holding him and she’s across the room, he’s got his eyes on her. He’s always just absolutely taken by her and refuses to let her out of his sight. He gets it from me. The girls are a little more complicated. When they’re full of energy and want to be rowdy and obnoxious, they run right to me because I love chasing them around the house or having them climb all over me. When they are chilled out and want to play with their dolls, color, or watch cartoons they always go to Y/N. The three of them love laying in our bed watching cartoons with one girl on either side of Y/N. I bet that’s what they’re doing right now. But they’re 100% daddy’s girls, don’t let the cuteness in our bed fool you.

How do you and Y/N handle the inevitable tantrums?

-We have created a really good system with them. If one of them starts to have a meltdown we separate them before the other one starts getting upset, we take whoever is having the meltdown and sit down on the floor and try to get them to talk to us about why they’re upset and allow them to express their feelings to us. We want to teach them how to understand and express what they’re feeling and develop the skills to deal with them in the future. The same goes for if they have tantrums at the same time or if they’re upset with me or Y/N. When they’re ready we put the girls together and have them apologize or say whatever needs to be said.

What do your days look like now that you’re at home with them?

-Luca wakes us up at about 6 am to eat and a diaper change. Mornings are one of the only times Y/N and I have to ourselves so we go back to bed and just enjoy being there with each other. The girls come in around 8 and want to get under the covers and cuddle with us for a bit. Sometimes we’ll get Luca out of his bassinet and it’ll be all 5 of us, but usually we take this time to love on our girls for a bit before we get our day started. After an hour or so they start to get hungry so one of us will stay in bed with the kids while the other handles breakfast. Once we get them out of bed and they’ve had breakfast I play with them before I do some work. I’ll work for a couple of hours and then we’ll eat lunch together and all the kids go down for naps.

-During their nap Y/N and I are working out a little and tidying up around the house. When the girls wake up they’re full of energy and we’re chasing them around and keeping Luca happy until dinner. After dinner they all have bath time with mom and I’m finishing up some work and doing the endless amounts of laundry we have. Bedtime for the girls is 9 pm and after they’re asleep we’re in the living room with Luca until he starts to get tired and he goes back into our room and goes to sleep. When all the kids are in bed we’re in the living room watching a movie or listening to music and talking to each other. We’ll take a shower or a bath together before we get ready for bed and do the same thing all over again!

Wow! You guys have your hands full it seems.

-Kids are no joke. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when Luca is mobile. My life nowadays is chasing after toddlers and laundry. So. Much. Laundry. But I really wouldn’t have it any other way, I love being a dad.

Have you thought about taking everyone to Romania and showing them where you grew up?

-Y/N and I went in 2016 while we were in Europe for our honeymoon and spent a couple of days there. We had talked about going this year or the next and leaving the girls with her parents but then we found out she was pregnant with Luca and we don’t want to leave him when he’s too young. Maybe when they’re older and can appreciate it more we’ll take them, I’d love for them to learn a little bit about their history.

Have you taught them any Romanian?

-I have. My mom encouraged me to introduce them to it when they’re young so they’ll absorb it better. The girls know a couple of words and can understand and speak basic sentences when I’m talking to them in Romanian. They’re picking it up a lot quicker than I thought they would. Luca just giggles when I talk to him in any language.

What about Y/N? Did you ever try teaching her?

-I did, and still am. One of the ways I tried impressing her when we first got together was how I could speak a different language and she loved it and made me promise to teach her the basics. When things got serious and I introduced her to my mom, we spent the whole evening teaching her simple words and phrases. She’s good at picking up what we’re saying and putting everything together to understand what we said. I translated for her the entire time we were in Romania. She knew what she wanted to say but didn’t know how to say it. She’s getting there.

What changes when you are cast for a movie that is going to keep you away from home for an extended amount of time?

-Before I met Y/N and had kids, I was taking jobs wherever and didn’t care if I was going to be away for months at a time. Once we brought up about settling down and buying a house together and starting a family we had a long conversation about where my career was going to go and how we were going to fit a family into that. She never wanted me to give up what I love doing and always said a family could wait until I was ready to step back from acting. I knew most of the things I’d be working on would be based in New York or Atlanta. We have our house in New York and it only made sense to have a house in Atlanta. Now whenever I’m needed in Atlanta for work, we pack up some things and have it shipped to our house down there.

How did you handle having to shoot for Infinity War and Endgame for so long?

-Luckily I didn’t have a huge role in either of them and didn’t have to be on set as much compared to Evans or really anyone else in that movie. Shooting started for Infinity War January of 2017 and we bought our house down there just a few months prior. I had some other things I was working on in Atlanta and we had just decided to stay down there until everything was wrapped. We got there at the beginning of February and found out Y/N was pregnant with the girls about a month after that. We wrapped Infinity War in July and Endgame started in August. We did the premiere for I, Tonya, and went back to Atlanta since I would be needed there again. Y/N went into labor a few weeks later and we had the girls in Atlanta right in the middle of shooting Endgame.

Did you take them to set to introduce them to everyone?

-We did. We had them a couple of weeks before we shot the final scenes in Endgame and when Y/N was a bit stronger, I asked her to bring them to set for morale and dear God everyone lost their minds. Everyone knew we had them but I wasn’t on set at all until that day and a couple of hours into shooting I told everyone to be prepared for what was coming and with everyone standing around looking confused, here comes Y/N with these 2 tiny babies in her arms. I have some pretty epic pictures and me holding them with the metal arm on and Evans holding them with the Cap suit.

Who do you trust most to babysit them out of everyone you worked with on Endgame?

-Evans is definitely on the top of my babysitter's list. He did watch them a few times when he was in Atlanta for a another movie while we were shooting Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Y/N and I needed a date night and he offered to stay at our house and watch them. The girls adore him. Mackie is great with them, too. I could probably call Tom Holland if I was desperate.

Did Y/N have Luca while you were shooting The Falcon and the Winter Soldier?

-Yes. We started shooting in November of 2019 in Atlanta, and she was about 24 weeks pregnant. I took her and the girls with me and Y/N went into labor in February.

When production was set to move to Europe, were they all going with you?

-So when we found out we were set to shoot in Prague we knew Y/N and Luca weren’t going to be able to go since he was going to be too young to travel out of the country. We planned to get her and the baby back to New York in March and I was going to take the girls to Europe with me, so Y/N could focus on Luca and not have to take care of all 3 of them by herself. We were shooting for 3 weeks so it wasn’t a crazy amount of time for us to be apart.

How did the virus change those plans?

-When news of the virus spreading broke we got Y/N, Luca, and the girls to New York before it spread here. Y/N has some family in Florida so they drove up and flew to New York with her so she had help with the baby and the girls. Production was halted the first week of March and I was on the next plane to New York to get back to them.

How scary was it sitting at home with your 3 young kids just watching how quickly the virus was spreading?

-It was terrifying. As a parent all you want is to protect your kids from anything that can hurt them, and you’ll do anything to make sure they’re safe and healthy. I had never felt so helpless. When the numbers kept rising and rising here I felt like we had made a mistake coming back and wished we would’ve stayed in Atlanta. But we didn’t know how long this was going to be happening so it was ultimately the right move to come back here. I’m the one who does all the grocery shopping and leaving the house for essentials. Y/N and Luca have had a few postpartum appointments and checkups but that’s the only time either of them is going out. We are lucky to have a yard for the girls to run around and be able to play outside and for us to get fresh air.

We’re just about wrapped up here but I have a few more questions. These are questions that some fans sent in. How has your life changed over these past few years since becoming a husband and father?

-It’s changed for the better. Meeting Y/N was probably one of the greatest things that have ever happened to me and has given me so many amazing opportunities in my life I wouldn’t have had otherwise. I’m not even just talking about becoming a dad, but she has helped me see things in me I never saw before and she pushed me to become better. I’ve become a better person because of her. There are so many things having kids has taught me, I could probably write books about it. I love my kids with everything in me and couldn’t imagine my life without them, and I never want to.

Do you want more kids?

-Y/N and I would love to have another baby. I don’t want to overwhelm myself or Y/N with adding another baby into the mix too soon. I still have a lot of commitments I’ve made to work once all of this craziness is over. Maybe in a couple of years when I can step back from acting, we’ll revisit the idea of another baby. I do need one more boy to level the playing field. There are going to be 2 teenage girls in this house eventually, I’m going to need all the testosterone I can get. But right now, everything is perfect.

What is one thing you want to make sure your kids remember about you and Y/N after you guys are long gone?

-I want them to remember the love we had for them, and for each other. There’s a line from The Office I always think about every time I see Y/N. “When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that.” My kids are never going to doubt for a second the love I have for Y/N. I hope they grow up believing in that sort of love and one day can share it with their person like I am with mine.

Thank you Sebastian for this amazing interview. I send all my love and well wishes to you, Y/N, Genevieve, Elena, and Luca.

-I’ll be sure to pass that along, thank you so much!

a/n: im a sucker for dad!seb this made me SO SOFT

tagging some mutuals : @bellamys @constantaking @auroraevans @angrybirdcr @auroraevans @tfandtws @smilexcaptainx @rubberducky-jrr @rosetintedbucky @disaffectedbarnes @cosmicbucky @spideyspoods @hollandsosterfield @spideybrie @wildflowerbarnes @marvelxholland @cutesparker @afictionaladventure16

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imagineaworlds · 4 years

Text

I Love You (Part Ten) -- Aaron Hotchner

Written By: @desperately-bisexual

Request: None.

Warnings: Mentions of getting shot. Mentions of blood. Explosions. Mentions of kidnapping. Mentions of stalking. Literally the whole shabang.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Greenaway!Reader

Word Count: 11066

Timeline: Season 2 Episode 01. Right after part nine.

HOTCH’S POV

Morgan came into my office just as the sun was rising over Quantico. The rest of the BAU, and really all of the FBI, was just starting to pour into the building for a long day’s work. He told me that Y/N went to get donuts and coffee for everyone, and offered me the chance to order something if I wanted. I stared at him with a blank face for a moment. No one went with them? We had an Unsub stalking us, and no one left Quantico with them? What the hell were Reid and Morgan thinking? Gideon made JJ hold a press conference almost two hours prior— which was a bad idea on its own— and now Y/N left without anyone with them? I didn’t doubt that they could handle themselves. I knew that they could. But this guy knew everything about us. We could afford to take such a risk.

“No. I don’t want anything,” I responded calmly. Morgan shrugged and nodded, patting the door frame before leaving. The second he was out of sight, I picked up my cell and started calling them. They picked up after the first ring.

“Morgan was supposed to call me with your order, Aaron.”

“I know, I know. Why did you leave without someone else?”

I could hear the annoyance and defiance in their voice, “It’s not that big of a deal, Hotch. I’m just going to Leonard’s for donuts and coffee, and then I’ll be right back. You won’t even miss me.”

I already missed them, though. And I was already worried about them. They should have just gone home or stayed at the office. They knew better. But they were also reckless, and they didn’t like to listen to me. It was fun for them to push my buttons, but this simply wasn’t the time.

“Leonard’s and right back. I’m serious.”

“You promised to not worry so much about me,” they sing-songed.

I couldn’t help it. They sprang the “I love you” on me just the other night, and it awoke something in me that I hadn’t felt since Haley. Actually… to tell the truth, it didn’t even feel this way with Haley. All my life, I thought I was going to spend it with Haley; but she got tired of waiting around for me, and I couldn’t blame her. Then Y/N came along, and something changed. I didn’t have to pretend or settle for them. This job was just as important to them as it was for me. Making it work rather than putting unfair pressures on each other made me feel comfortable and loved. And now they were telling me to not worry about them as if I hadn’t said “I love you” back to them the other night and in Jamaica yesterday. I loved them with every inch of me and I worried about them every second of every day. I earned that right when I saw them playing with Jack and getting along so well with him. I earned that right when we said “I love you” to each other. I earned that right when they became my partner. I knew our rules, I knew our dynamic… But none of my feelings just washed away whenever I would get to work, contrary to popular belief.

“I'm not worried,” I lied. “I love you.”

I could practically hear them smiling through the phone. “I love you, too.”

We hung up our call and I sighed. They would be fine. Leonard’s was just a few blocks away— not even a ten minute drive. They would be around people, in the public eye. No one would be able to take them if they were being careful. And then they would be back before I could even say their name.

I stood and exited my office to check on the rest of the unit who was just now appearing for work. They all seemed busy, yet entirely ignorant of what was really going on. They only knew what everyone else had seen on the news, and that was all they needed to know. Everything was going to be fine. Like Y/N said, I had nothing to worry about.

And then I spotted Anderson at the copy machine.

My brows furrowed as I hurried down the ramp outside of my office and called his name. He looked up from the machine and fixed his posture to stand at attention like a soldier would for his commanding officer. I asked him where Elle was, and he only responded with a confused look. I asked him why he was back already, and he still looked confused.

“You told me to take her home, sir.”

“I understand that, but taking her home is not the same thing dropping her off. We have an Unsub who’s stalking our unit. He knows all of our personal information, including our addresses. You can’t just leave her there. Get back there now.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but I glared and he silently retreated out of the building. I picked up the nearest phone, which happened to be on Y/N’s desk, and tried calling Elle’s cellphone. When she didn’t pick up, I figured that she must have let it die or left it in her purse when she fell asleep. So I tried calling her house number. Still, nothing. Shit. I kept trying to reach her. I wasn’t about to give up. Soon, she would finally get annoyed by the constant ringing and would get her ass out of bed long enough to pick up the phone and let me know that she was alright. Either that or Anderson would get there on time and he’d call to let me know that she was safe. But until then, I wasn’t going to stop calling.

“Agent Hotchner,” one of the secretaries approached me. I raised a brow at her while still dialing Elle’s number. “The delivery man from the news last night is on his way up. He just turned himself in.”

Shit. I put the phone down. “Thanks for letting me know. Do me a favor, keep calling Agent Greenaway for me until she picks up her phone.”

“Which Greenaway, sir?”

“Elle.”

“Right away.”

We separated in opposite directions. She returned to her desk, while I headed up to Gideon’s office to let him know about the delivery man. Reid was in his office with him, which saved me some time from running around to tell everyone on the team. Gideon was up on his feet the moment I mentioned a delivery man, he didn’t even need to hear the rest because he already knew. That was why he had JJ hold the press conference. It wasn’t to snuff out the Unsub, but our only living witness thus far.

I was the first one into the interrogation room where the witness was waiting. He matched the description that Jessica gave the sketch artist perfectly. As we entered the room, his terror filled eyes looked up at me. People only looked like that when they had something to hide, but I didn’t think that a guy like this could be our Unsub. He was too shaky and shy for that— Not to mention that our Unsub wouldn’t’ve turned himself in when we still had some kind of quest to complete.

I decided to be up front with him. No dancing around it. We needed answers and we needed them fast. “You delivered a packing to my ex-wife’s house yesterday, and it was addressed to my son—”

“Do I need a lawyer?” he questioned.

I continued, trying to move past the idea of calling a lawyer because that would only slow us down. “It was late in the day. You told the woman you gave the folder to that it was imperative that it get to me because a girl’s life depended on it. Ring any bells yet?”

“I— I guess I could check my logs, yeah,” he stuttered.

“No, you already know which one I’m talking about.”

“Listen, all I know is that a guy came up to me, asked me if I could drop off this package a mile down the road, and that a girl’s life depended on it. I was headed that way, anyhow, I figured what could be the harm?”

“And you didn’t find it at all suspicious that this guy mentioned that a girl’s life was at stake?”

The witness shifted in his seat uncomfortably, a telling sign that he was about to lie. “No, I didn’t think anything of it. I heard that a girl was in trouble, so I knew that I just had to help. Does that make me a bad guy?”

I chuckled, “So you’re a humanitarian, then?”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“How much did he pay you?” Gideon asked.

The witness looked at him and shifted again. “I… I don’t know what you mean…” He looked back at me, but I didn’t budge for him. He swallowed hard. “A thousand dollars in cash. Gave it to me when he gave me the folder.”

“What did he look like?”

“I don’t know. He had a big coat on and a big hat covering his face. All that I could actually see was his neck and his hands, and they were all fucked up. It looked like he had been burned everywhere.”

I looked over at Gideon. That was everything we were going to get out of this guy, and it was really all we needed. We silently left the interrogation room, but we didn’t release the witness yet in case we decided that we would have more questions for him later.

“Burn scars would explain why he seemed uncomfortable in the video,” I told Gideon.

“It’s also how we’ll find him.”

Reid smiled ear to ear after I complimented his good work— rightfully so, too. Together, him and Garcia had cracked a huge problem in the case. While we had earlier hit a wall with the numbers on the letter Jessica gave us, they had figured it all out finally.

Garcia opened her mouth like she was about to say something, likely to apologize again for her mistake. She knew that she had fucked up, and she knew that Gideon was the most upset about all of it. But as she was about to begin, a secretary joined us in the hallway to deliver a message.

“Agent Gideon, there’s a call for you on line 2.”

Garcia closed her mouth and let her shoulders fall as she hugged her files over her chest in order to put her guard up again. What little bravery she had mustered only seconds ago immediately disappeared and she was back to being silent and self-loathing again. Gideon sighed at the interruption, however, and asked who was calling and if it was really all that important. When the secretary responded that it was urgent and that the man calling had named himself “The Fisher King”, we all knew that something was wrong.

We all rushed to the door that led to the BAU wing. Gideon and I were the first to the phone; Reid, Garcia, and the secretary chased after. Gideon unmuted the call, put it on speaker, and introduced himself.

“I didn’t have any other choice,” the Fisher King said. It was the same voice which called me the other night when I was with Y/N. This was our Unsub. “It was distasteful and barbaric. But it had to be done. You forced my hand, Agent Gideon. I told you that there were rules, and you blatantly ignored me. So I had to make sure that you would never break the rules again. Agent Greenaway didn’t have to die like that, Agent Gideon, just remember that. If you would have listened, I wouldn’t have done it. Not like that. Remember the rules or there will be more consequences.” And then the call ended.

I looked up at Jason, my heart racing in my chest. Both Elle and Y/N were out. Anderson had just gone back to Elle’s place, which meant… No. I immediately reached for my phone and took a step away from the group as I began to dial their number. Straight to voicemail. I cursed under my breath as I dialed again.

Behind me, Gideon was instructing Reid to reach out to every nearby hospital in search of a patient with the last name Greenaway. The whole office was set in motion as everyone went to do their assigned jobs for when an agent was to go missing. Garcia hurried to her office to check the computers and Gideon went to grab his things— including his car keys. By the time he returned, I had called Y/N three times, and every time it went directly to their inbox. Either they were being an asshole and not picking up, or something truly did happen to them. I prayed that they were just being an asshole again.

“Hotch!” Reid called from the balcony. I looked over. “It’s Elle! She’s at Sentara Northern Virginia Medical Center!” He retreated back into the boardroom to sort things out while Gideon threw his keys at me as we both turned to the exit.

I immediately turned on the lights and the sirens after we pulled out of Quantico. I was speeding down the roads, trying to avoid all of the cars who weren’t moving to the side for us, while also trying to call Y/N to let them know what had happened. They still weren’t picking up, and I remembered that they told me not to worry, but I didn’t end up worrying about Elle, and look at what happened. So I just kept dialing while Jason watched me out of the corner of his eye.

Please just be an asshole and not dead. That was all I wanted from them. I wanted the excuses, I wanted the fighting back, I wanted the sass and bratiness that all came with dating them. I wanted to know that I would get to see them again, to just hold them in my arms and tell them that I love them again. If I could have, I would have never stopped saying it because I wasn’t about to let them get away like I had with Haley. They weren’t going to win that easily. But they just had to pick up the fucking phone first.

I slammed my hand against the steering wheel. “Fuck,” I cursed under my breath.

“I’m not going to say it…” Gideon said, looking out the window to avoid my glare.

“Good. Then don’t.”

I knew what he was going to say. He didn’t like the idea of me and Y/N dating. He didn’t like the idea of anyone dating on the team because he knew what potential distractions it could create. But I didn’t care what he thought. At least not then when I just needed to focus on literally anything positive. So I tried to focus on how happy it made me to see Y/N with Jack. They were so good with him, and he took to them immediately. I had never seen him connect with anyone like that before. It was such a relief to me that they liked each other.

And then my phone started ringing.

I briskly flipped it open and brought it to my ear.

READER’S POV

I was busy juggling a box of donuts and a cardboard cup holder carrying four coffees when my phone started ringing again. Morgan had called me just before I started ordering inside at Leonard’s to tell me that JJ wanted a cup of cold brew, and that Hotch and Gideon turned down coffee, but Gideon would love a donut. So I ordered a dozen donuts— just to make sure there were plenty extra— and four coffees. Yes, four. I heard Morgan tell me that Hotch didn’t want anything, but I knew him better than that, and I knew that he would want it later, so I got him one anyways. I figured that even if he didn’t end up drinking it, someone else would. Maybe Elle would take it when Anderson would bring her back to the office.

My phone rang again on the way to the car, but I still couldn’t reach it with both of my hands full, so I just tried to hurry up to the car. It rang a third time and I groaned. It was probably just Aaron again, all worried that I wasn’t back yet. It wasn’t my fault that I got caught in the morning traffic outside of Quantico, and I didn’t realize that Leonard’s had some kind of deal on Sunday mornings which always drew in a huge ass crowd. It wasn’t like I made my trips to Leonard’s a common occurrence. I hardly ever went there, so I sure as hell didn’t know about any discount deal that somehow brought in half of Virginia.

The damn phone rang again and I cursed Hotch for making me practically run to the car. He was too worried about me since the other night. Granted, I basically had a breakdown yesterday when I saw my jewelry box, but we had our rules for a reason. I just needed him to calm down and wait until I could call him back. He had already called me three times while I was ordering, which I couldn’t answer any of those calls since I was already busy. Now he had called me at least four times on the way to the car, which meant that he wasn’t even waiting for it to go to voicemail every time.

I put the cupholder on the roof of the car so that I could have a free hand to open the car door. I reached into the car and set the box of donuts on the passenger’s seat, then went back to grab the coffees. They wobbled in my hands as one of the cups managed to slide out of the grip a little too far. I managed to catch it on time, thankfully, before it could spill all over me, and let out a sigh of relief before making sure the cup was put back all the way.

I slid into the car, closed the door, and put the coffees next to the donuts on the seat. When that was settled and I was fairly sure that nothing was going to fall over or spill everywhere, I reached for my phone to see what the hell was going on. Aaron had called me seven times. Seven. Either he was dying or they caught the guy and I could go home. Either way, I was going to kill him.

I dialed his number and called him back. It rang twice before he picked up. “I’m on my way, Hotch. Did you guys find something?”

“Why the fuck weren’t you answering your phone?”

“My hands were full. I couldn’t reach my phone. What’s going on?”

“The Unsub shot Elle.”

I stopped worrying about turning the car on and getting out of the parking lot in a rush but also satefly as he said it. I froze for a moment, just staring at the building in front of me. I tried to wrap my brain around what he said, and almost went to deny it, but I knew that he wouldn’t lie to me like that. So why had he said it? Maybe this was Gideon’s next ploy to try to weed out the Unsub, but they had to make it real, so they had to make me believe it. That had to be it. Elle was fine.

“Y/N?”

“Hmm?” I hummed into the phone.

“She’s alive,” he clarified. My gaze fell from the building and to the car’s emblem in the middle of the steering wheel. I was slowly starting to come back to reality. “She’s at Sentara North. Gideon and I are headed there now. I can have Reid pick you up.”

“No,” I insisted, my eyes falling shut. “I’ll… I’ll meet you there.”

“Y/N—”

“I’ll be fine.”

I hung up before he could say anything. He didn’t want me driving. I understood. But what else were we going to do? I put the car in reverse and started backing out of the parking spot I was in. I was just trying to come to terms with how the hell this could have happened. Aaron sent Elle home with Anderson. She should have just been resting in her bed while he kept watch. So how the fuck did the Unsub manage to break into my sister’s home and shoot her? Where was Anderson?

I thought about how Hotch wanted me to go home, even if it was with Elle or Morgan. He just wanted me to get some rest since I hadn’t slept in nearly forty hours. But I turned him down selfishly because I wanted to focus on the case. I knew that there was an Unsub out there who had it out for my sister, and I chose to stay at the office with Hotch. If I would’ve just listened, I could have been with Elle, and maybe I could have stopped the Unsub. Maybe she wouldn’t be in the hospital at all.

Sentara Northern Virginia Medical Center was only a twelve minute drive from Leonard’s, I made it in nine. One of the Bureau’s vehicles was parked directly out front, and I knew that it had to be Hotch and Gideon, so I parked Hotch’s car next to it and hurried out the second I turned the ignition off. I left my purse, the donuts, and the coffees all in the car as I just hauled ass inside and ran up to the front desk.

The nurse at the front desk was taken aback by my panic and the way I was flashing my badge in her face, demanding for the floor number that Elle was on. After likely having just dealt with Hotch and Gideon perhaps a few minutes prior, the nurse already knew the floor to give me, and I was running again to the elevators where I kept pressing the up button like it would somehow make it arrive faster.

My foot tapped against the bottom of the elevator anxiously as I counted the floors I passed and the seconds it was taking to get there. For all I knew, Elle could have already been dead. Every second spent trapped in that elevator was one less second that I would get to be by my sister’s side when she needed me most. And I absolutely hated it. I hated not being able to make the elevator go faster. I hated that I didn’t pick up Hotch’s calls sooner. I hated that I didn’t just go home with Elle, instead I chose to get coffee and donuts like an idiot. Gosh, I was so fucking stupid.

The elevator dinged before the doors began to slowly slide open. The second the gap was wide enough, I squeezed past and ran into the bright white hallway. Ahead of me was a glass wall that divided the waiting room from the hallway I was standing in. Behind the glass, I could see Hotch sitting across from Gideon, who was working on a crossword puzzle in today’s newspaper. Hotch looked up from his hands like he could sense that I had just arrived. When our eyes met, he pushed himself to his feet and hurried to meet me halfway. I ran up to him and jumped into his open arms. My arms wrapped themselves around his neck and I cried in his shoulder. He tried to soothe me by rubbing small circles on my back with one hand, and whispering that it would be okay in my ear.

“She’s alright,” he told me. “She’s in surgery still, but she’s going to be alright.”

“I should’ve gone with her.”

“You didn’t know.”

“I should’ve been there. It should’ve been me.”

“No,” he shook his head. “No.”

“How did this happen, Aaron?”

I felt like I was going to be sick again. The whole car ride over, I was convinced that it was some kind of sick joke. I didn’t want it to be real, so I tried to pretend that it wasn’t. But standing in that hallway, wrapped in Hotch’s arms as I sobbed and he tried to calm me down, I knew that it was real. I could feel it. My sister had been shot. The Unsub promised that the other one was being taken care of, and we thought that it was over when we got Elle out of jail in Jamaica. But the Unsub was only just getting started. He saved his big moment for when we least expected it. When we were all exhausted, hungry, separated, and our anxieties had actually calmed down. It was the calm before the storm, and none of us saw it coming.

Hotch was trying to find the best way to explain without hurting me. He was treating me like a victim of a case rather than his partner, because that was all he knew how to do. With Haley, he thought that he knew what he was doing, but she shattered his idea of love, comfort, and romance when she left him suddenly. Now, he didn’t know anything about how to comfort me in the way I needed most. And it made me sad. I was trying so hard to help him. We had gotten so far together since he first asked me out, but this was the one thing that we hadn’t prepared for. This was the one thing we never wanted to be ready for because we didn’t want to imagine that it could happen. So now he wasn’t prepared and it broke my heart.

He did what he understood, though, and that was explaining it to me like a stranger in a case who just lost a loved one. “He went in through the back door, caught her by surprise, and shot her.”

“Where?” I begged him for more details. As both an agent and her sister, I needed to know more than just that.

“The living room. He went through the kitchen and into the living room, and shot her point blank in the shoulder.”

I squeezed his neck tighter and he pulled me closer. “Why didn’t we know sooner?”

“The Unsub took her badge and gun.”

I pulled from Hotch and he let me, but his touch didn’t leave me. His left hand trailed up my side and up my neck before he cupped my cheek. He wiped away one of my tears with his thumb.

“The crime scene— I’ve got to go look at it,” I said desperately, trying to make a move for the elevator.

Hotch made sure to hold me still as gently but as assertive as he could. “No,” he insisted. “You don’t need to see it. Trust me. Anderson’s there and he’s sending me photos. You don’t want to know, Y/N.”

“I can find this asshole. I can do it if you just let me.”

“You need to be here for when Elle gets out of surgery and wakes up. She’s going to need you.”

I wiped another tear that was falling down my cheek. “That’ll be hours from now. I have to go—”

“I’m not letting you go anywhere,” he whispered with more harshness to his tone. “He called us after he did it…” Hotch pressed his forehead to mine. “He said that ‘Agent Greenaway didn’t have to die like that’ and I thought that he meant you.” His eyes fell shut as he tried to stop himself from crying. “I thought it was you and I nearly died.” He kissed me tenderly yet eagerly, just wanting to know that I was still there with him and that he could still kiss me. He didn’t want to think about losing me and the opportunity to love me. “So you’re not going anywhere until we find this guy.”

My fingers found the back of his neck and slid under the ends of his short hair. I grabbed slightly, not enough to hurt, but just to be affectionate. “Okay,” I gave in. He didn’t want me to leave, and I wasn’t going to fight him on this one thing. It made sense and I didn’t need to get under his skin when there was already so much happening. “I’ll stay.”

He let out a sigh of relief, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

It felt good to say it again to his face. It was the first time since the other night at his house. Just the difference between saying it against his lips compared to saying it into a phone made my heart flutter in my chest. Every time he said it, every time his face was so close to mine that I could feel his breath, and every time he looked at me like he loved me more than anything in the world, my day brightened just a little more.

Hotch escorted me to the waiting room where Gideon was pretending to still be focused on his newspaper, when, in reality, he had likely been watching Hotch and I in the hallway to get a feel for how serious our relationship was. I wondered what he thought about us. Gideon was always a softie deep down, and he was just another hopeless romantic like the rest of us; but he also held his own bias against coworkers dating, which made him view us differently. But I wondered that if after seeing us in the hallway and how we needed each other, he decided that maybe it was alright after all. Maybe he wouldn’t try to convince Hotch that it was a bad idea.

I sat down in one of the seats across from Gideon and Hotch let go of my hand. He wiped his face with both of his palms as he tried to recollect himself before turning back to Gideon. “Any luck reaching Morgan and JJ?”

Gideon shook his head, writing in another word on the crossword table. “They’re still out of cell range.”

“Keep trying.” He turned back to me, “Did you leave the drinks and food in the car?” I nodded. “Okay, I’ll go get them. You need something to eat.”

I whispered a thank you and slumped against the seat I was in. I watched him leave and step into the elevator. As the elevator doors began to close, he sent me a short, small smile. My head fell back gently against the back support of the seat I was in and I let out a heavy sigh. All I wanted was to be with Elle at her house, her asleep with me watching over her to make sure that she was alright. Maybe I just needed food and sleep like Aaron kept telling me. This whole time, while I had been fighting against him to make sure that I was constantly keeping up to date with the case, I had forgotten that I needed to take care of my body in order to keep pushing. And without having eaten anything in hours and I hadn’t slept in almost forty hours, I felt so weak. Even if Elle woke up or they found the Unsub, I felt like I would be of no use in the state I was in. It made me feel utterly powerless.

Gideon was still paying no attention to me— or at least pretending as such. He was purposefully doing it. No one could actually focus on a crossword puzzle like he was when one of the teammates was up in surgery and it was his fault. Yeah, I said it. This was all his fault. The Unsub gave specific instructions that we weren’t allowed to go to the media or any outside resources. He knew that there were rules, and he broke them, and I was sure that it had to do with Elle getting shot. Not only did the Unsub want Elle out of the way for some fucked up reason, but he wanted to make sure that we understood that there were consequences to breaking his rules. So he won by getting rid of Elle and proving a point to us. Two birds, one stone.

Gideon should have been more careful. He should have listened to Hotch about not holding the press conference. And that was likely why he wasn’t looking at me. He knew that I would be upset with him for letting this happen to my sister. He also knew that I wasn’t going to blame Hotch, even though he was the one who sent Elle home. He knew that I couldn’t do that, but I’d be looking to point fingers, and it all pointed to him. He was ashamed, and as much as I hated to think it, I was glad that he felt that way. I wanted him to regret his decisions. Because if he had just stopped to consider instead of going on a personal witch hunt, then Elle wouldn’t have been lying on a surgical table with doctors trying to pull a bullet out of her chest.

When Hotch came back with the donuts and coffee, I pushed myself to sit back up again. He took the seat next to me and handed me one of the coffees, another to Gideon, and one for himself. I knew that he would want it. I tried not to smile behind my cup. It didn’t feel like the time to smile about such a silly thing, but I couldn’t believe that I had him pegged like that. It felt good knowing him that well.

“I called JJ and Morgan, told them about Elle, but they're still heading out there,” Hotch explained to Gideon as he handed him a donut.

I raised a brow after accepting my own donut from Hotch. “Where are they?”

“They’re checking up on a lead about the victim and her family. They’re going North to talk to her family.” He relaxed in his seat beside me, “Anderson called as I was about to get in the elevator. He told me that they found a partial print at the crime scene.”

That was the best news we had all day. While we had been falling short of any real leads since finding the jewelry box yesterday, the Unsub leaving a partial print in Elle’s house meant that we were one step closer to catching him. One step closer to me looking at my sister’s attacker in the eyes as I got to read him his Miranda Rights and put him away for a very long time. That was a reason to smile.

“How did they get the partial?” I asked.

Hotch looked at me with soft eyes that spoke volumes. I didn’t want to know, according to him. But him not telling me only confirmed any suspicions I might have had about the crime scene. I saw what happened in Jamaica, I saw what happened with Frank Giles. Our Unsub liked to write messages in blood. “SAVE HER”, “IT’S BEEN HANDLED”, and “HERE THY QUEST DOTH TRULY BEGIN” were all apart of his M.O. He wouldn't have left Elle without completing his ritual.

So I wanted to know the truth. “What did it say?”

Hotch scratched his stubble and shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He knew that I wouldn’t stop pressing for answers, especially when it came to Elle. His choices were to either tell me or find a way to travel back in time and stop himself from ever saying anything else about the crime seeing. Seeing as the second option was neither logical nor possible, he had to give me something. He knew that I had seen all of the other crime scenes first hand, and if he reused to tell me, I would just walk right out of the hospital and drive over there to see it for myself. It didn’t matter what promises I made to him. If I didn’t get answers, I wasn’t going to stick around long enough for him to start an argument about it.

“It said ‘RULES’... In Elle’s blood.”

“I’m going to kill him, Hotch. I swear, I’m going to kill him, even if it kills me.”

I was right about the Unsub and his reason for attacking Elle. Gideon broke the rules and the team had to pay.

“We still don’t have enough for a profile yet, though,” Gideon said quietly. “At least not a good one.”

Hotch picked up my free hand with his and held it tight. Even with Gideon in the room, Hotch was going out of his way to make sure that he was with me, that I understood that he wasn’t going anywhere. We had our rules. We knew that we weren’t supposed to touch at work— especially not like this. But something had happened to Hotch while I was at Leonard’s. He said that the Unsub called them to tell them that he had killed Elle, but he used our last name, and Hotch’s first worry was me. The fact that he called me on my way out of the parking lot to give me crap about leaving on my own, then all of the calls at Leonard’s, and his persistent need for touch all told me that the Unsub had really gotten under his skin by using me. The call when we were together the other night was the first step, and it kept escalating from there. The Unsub wanted us to be together at all times, for some reason, and he found a way to ensure that it would happen. All it took was stalking us, sending something to Jack, and scaring the crap out of Hotch about losing me on a thousand separate occasions.

Hotch’s hand squeezed mine. “Once JJ and Morgan finish up with Rebecca’s family, we’ll hopefully have another lead. Until then, there’s not much we can do. I think we should all get some rest.”

Gideon shook his head and flipped the newspaper pages to a sudoku puzzle now. He was really trying not to face me, and I didn’t blame him. I was sending him the worst death glare I could throw at him for what he did. But Hotch was at least right about the sleep idea. I was done with my donut, and the warm coffee was starting to lull me to sleep, even though the caffeine should have knocked me back on my feet. I guessed that I just was so tired that even caffeine couldn’t save me. And there wasn’t anything to do with the case or about Elle in surgery. Hotch had the right idea, and sleep was the one thing I couldn’t argue with at that point.

I peeled my hand from Hotch’s so that I could push myself to lean forward and put the cup of coffee on the table in front of us. When I reclined back in my seat, I shifted to the side so that I could rest my head against his shoulder. My eyelids were already heavy to the point that they fell shut without any effort. Sleep felt so natural, I didn’t have to fight to keep my eyes shut or quiet my thoughts.

Everything was oddly peaceful in that hospital waiting room. The lights were gold and dim in order to comfort those who would be waiting around, just like we were. All of the newspapers and magazines that Gideon had collected in front of him just reminded me home and how my dad would lay them out the same way. The air conditioning was right above my head, blowing cool air that helped my heart rate slow down and find peace. It was just so quiet as though the room itself were inviting me to sleep for once. I didn’t mind the feeling at all.

“The press conference was the right thing to do,” Gideon said quietly, assuming that I was already asleep and didn’t want to wake me up. Hotch’s hand fell to my knee and his thumb started to draw slow circles over the fabric of my pants. “I mean, it forced the Unsub to come out, forced him to make a mistake like leaving a partial print. If I hadn’t done what I did, who knows if we would have that information. I did the right thing. I know I did. I was just doing my job. Elle will understand that and Y/N will forgive me.”

“Jason…” Hotch whispered, trying not to move the shoulder I was resting on. “It’s no one’s fault but the Unsub.”

“I know.” He sounded so unsure about himself as he stood to leave. “I know.” He carefully put the newspaper back down on the table. “Let them sleep. I’ll be outside if you find anything out from Morgan or JJ.” He patted Hotch’s other shoulder gently on his way out.

When Gideon was gone, Hotch kissed the top of my head clemently, “I love you.”

I nuzzled against his shoulder and picked his hand up to intertwine our fingers again. “I love you, too,” I whispered. He kissed my head again and I let out one last breath of relief and tranquility before I managed to fall asleep.

Hotch gently shook me awake about an hour later. I woke up carefully, rubbing the side of my neck where it was sore from being crooked against his shoulder for so long. He massaged my shoulder in an attempt to help with my tight muscles, but also to help me wake up from my nap. I didn’t think that I would be out of it for so long, but if I were just being woken up by Hotch, it meant that something had only just happened. Whether it was about the case or Elle, I didn’t know until Hotch was sure that I was entirely awake again.

I reached out for my coffee on the table, which was now cold, but it was better than nothing. I chugged the rest of it before setting it back down. Hotch threw his arm over my shoulders as I leaned back.

“The team identified the Unsub,” he finally said.

“How?”

“I don’t know. Gideon’s sending me to oversee the arrest.”

I jumped out of my seat. “I’ll go with you.” I was already fixing my hair back out of my face and making sure that my gun was prepped in its holster on my hip. I knew what Hotch was going to say before he even said it, and I already knew what my response was going to be.

“No. Stay here and wait for Elle.” Like I said, he was being predictable.

With my response already prepared, I grabbed my purse from the floor. “I’m coming with you, Hotch. I want to be there when we get this guy. I want to see his face when he realizes that he lost.”

Hotch stared at me for a moment before nodding, “Okay.”

He wasn’t going to win this one. I had gotten some food, coffee, and sleep. I was now at the top of my game, perfect for arguing with him. And while he usually enjoyed playing along, we were on a time crunch. So he gave in and we headed for the elevator. As we waited, I asked what we knew since I fell asleep.

Hotch told me everything the team had told him. Our Unsub’s name was Randall Garner. We stepped into the elevator. He was Rebecca Bryant’s biological father who had been severely burned in the fire that burned their family home down and killed everyone but Rebecca and Randall. When she was sixteen, Rebecca had been kidnapped by her father after he was released from a mental institution. He had been keeping her for two years before finally contacting us. Hotch wasn’t sure why yet, but he was sure that Spencer would have answers for when we would get to the office.

And answers he did have. From the moment we stepped into the office, everyone started bombarding me with questions about Elle, while Reid was trying to catch Hotch up with everything he had learned about the Unsub and the profile he had created single handedly while everyone was gone. Morgan and JJ were following me around with endless questions, even though I really didn’t know much more than them about Elle’s condition or the crime scene since Hotch refused to take me or tell me much of anything about it. I apologized for not having answers, and they seemed upset that they were just as helpless as I was.

“He thinks that we’re modern-day Knights of the Round Table,” Reid explained to us as the group of us walked into the boardroom. There was a woman sitting in the corner, biting her nails, but I was the only one who seemed to take notice. “He thinks that he’s in a fantasy world where Rebecca is a grail that we need to rescue in order to save the day.”

“Do we know where he is?” Hotch asked, refusing to take a seat at the table.

Reid, Morgan, and JJ all looked through the files they had pulled and the notes they had taken, but there was nothing. His last known address was his home before it burned down in the fire— then, technically, the mental hospital. That was it, though. When he was released, he went off the grid. No one had any clue as to where he was.

“I have something,” the woman in the corner spoke up.

Reid leapt from his chair and hurried over to her, “No, mom, it’s okay—”

He came to a sudden halt when his mom pulled a photo from her purse and handed it to him. Spencer examined both sides before turning to all of us with wide eyes that told us that he suddenly understood so clearly. He handed it off to me and I took a look at it myself. One side was an address and the other was a picture of a large house in the middle of the woods.

Reid’s mom had this the entire time and she never said anything. The Unsub gave her another clue— the last clue— because he knew that Reid would send for her. To make sure that she was safe. He knew Spencer and the rest of us like he was us and could guess what we would do before we could even think of it for ourselves. He was ten steps ahead of at all times when he never should have even been a single step ahead of us in the first place.

I handed the photo over to Morgan. “Shiloh, Virginia?” he read the address. “That’s only ten miles from here.”

“Gear up quickly,” Hotch ordered, already heading for his office.

We all jumped to our feet and headed for our desks. Hotch was up in his office, calling the SWAT team for back up and giving them the address of where to meet us. Morgan tossed me another flashlight after I tested mine to find that it had died after Reid used it yesterday to find the jewelry box clue.

The five of us— me, Hotch. Morgan, JJ, Reid— all hurried to one of the FBI company black SUV vehicles and stuffed ourselves inside. Hotch turned on the lights and sirens before we even made it out of the parking lot and started hauling ass down the streets towards Shiloh. None of us said anything. We were all just focused on getting there and finally taking this guy down. We wanted answers and we wanted him to pay for all of the suffering he caused. It was high time he met his modern-day Knights of the Round table, just like he wanted.

The SWAT team Hotch had called in was already parked in front of the house when we arrived. They were all huddled around the trunks of their cars as they put on their gear and loaded their weapons. While we drove up the path with all of the lights off, they looked over to make sure that we were a friendly vehicle and not the suspect or otherwise.

Gravel crunched under my shoes as I jumped out of the car and walked around to the back where Hotch had popped the trunk for us to grab our bullet proof vests. I threw mine over my head and worked in silence as I connected all of the straps. Everyone was silent. The only sounds that echoed were from everyone’s boots compressing the gravel under us. If the Unsub were near a window or door, he likely would have heard us, even though we were all trying to be quiet.

When everyone was ready, Hotch traveled to the front of the group to lead us in. He gave a silent signal, and the SWAT team split into three small groups. One headed to the left, another to the right, and the one Hotch and I went with went straight for the front door. Our team split up, too. JJ and Morgan went to the left, Hotch and I down the middle, and Reid to the right.

We were still quiet as we ran up to the door and Hotch messed with the doorknob to see if it was unlocked. When the door opened easily, he gave us a silent signal to be careful because the Unsub was likely expecting us. This was his game, afterall. He had to know where the players were at all times.

Hotch and I went together towards the dining room while the SWAT members of our group branched off to check the kitchen. With our guns raised, Hotch and I ran into the room. We checked every corner, hiding spaces behind doors, cabinets, etc. but there was nothing. Rebecca had to be somewhere in the house, we were sure of that much, the only question was where?

I dragged a finger over the dining room table before bringing it up to my eyes. The table was caked in dust, just like everything else in the dining room. Around the table were six chairs, each covered by white sheets. From the other end of the table, Hotch whistled quietly to catch my attention. He was holding Elle’s badge and gun. So we did have the right guy’s house. That was some consolation.

“It’s Morgan. We’re clear on this side,” he said over the comms.

“Kitchen’s clear.”

“Living room clear.”

“Nothing in the parlor.”

“Dining room’s empty,” I said.

“I’ve got movement upstairs,” Reid said.

Hotch and I gave each other a nod before traveling together towards the staircase. Reid was halfway up, his gun and flashlight pointing at the hallway that diverted to the right of the stairs. He gestured with his flashlight that he saw someone heading that direction, and we followed him up.

The SWAT team ran past us, taking the lead in order to clear the upstairs rooms while we followed Spencer’s hunch. Reid, Morgan, and Hotch were in front of me, JJ behind me. She tapped my shoulder when we reached the top floor and she pointed towards the left, letting me know that she was going to look for Rebecca on the left side of the house with the SWAT team. I nodded an acknowledgement and continued to the right.

Reid jumped across the entrance to another hallway that turned to the left. He hid on the wall opposite Morgan, Hotch, and I. Morgan took point on that wall closest to the new hallway, meanwhile Hotch and I backed up for support. Down the new hallway that we had discovered, there was a room all the way at the end. The door was half open, and I saw a man pass by it. My blood ran cold as I gestured to Hotch that I saw Randall Garner.

“Cover me,” Morgan whispered to us.

“No, no, no,” Spencer insisted. Morgan stepped back from the corner. “Give me a second.” He raised his voice, “Mr. Garner? My name is Dr. Spencer Reid. I’m with the FBI. You were in the hospital with my mother. I think she may have confused you about who we are and what we do. All we want to do is help Rebecca— which is what you want to do, too, right? That’s why you sent us the puzzles and the clues. That’s why you wanted to see us.”

“Did you bring her?” Garner asked from his room down the hall. The sound of leather creaking echoed in the hallway just after I saw him taking a seat at a desk inside.

“Bring who? Rebecca? We don’t have her. You do.”

“No. No. The one Arthur loves. Guinevere.”

Hotch, Morgan, and I all exchanged confused glances. Arthur and Guinevere? We knew that he saw us as the Knights of the Round Table, but we didn’t know that he had assigned us to the specific character.

“We didn’t bring any Guinevere,” Reid played along.

Randall Garner huffed angrily from his office. “I was very specific that Agent Hotchner and Agent Greenaway were to be together the entire time. Did you not learn your lesson about obeying the rules?”

I suddenly realized that Aaron was Arthur and I was Guinevere. That was why he wanted us together. He saw our relationship and wanted us to recreate how he imagined the characters behaving in his delusion. We were only confused at first because he said “she” and that wasn’t what any of us were used to. The only “she” we brought with us was JJ, and she was off searching the other side of the house.

“We brought Agent Hotchner and Agent Greenaway, yes.”

“Ask the question, dear Guinevere.”

I looked across to Reid for an answer because I didn’t know of any question. Was it in one of the clues that Spencer solved? It had to be. “He believes that if you ask the right question, then it will magically heal his wounds. That’s why he wanted us. He thinks that we have magic.”

“Do you know the question?” Hotch whispered.

Reid shook his head, “But I know what he wants. Fall back.” He held his gun out to me, which I reluctantly took. “It’ll be fine…” he told us before walking into the hallway with his hands raised. “Stay calm, Mr. Garner.”

“Ask the question, Ser Percival, if Guinevere is incapacitated.”

“I told you, I’m not Percival and Y/N isn’t Guinevere. My name’s Spencer and we work for the FBI. You know my mother, Diana, from the hospital. Do you remember?” He kept walking down the hallway, closer and closer to the room Randall was in. “I think she might have made you think that your daughter is a grail and that we’re knights sent to rescue her.”

“No. Your mother was very specific—”

“My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic who would forget to eat if she wasn’t reminded. She doesn’t know real from fiction, just like you, Mr. Garner. We’re not characters in a story. We’re real people who have come to help you and your daughter.” Reid finally reached the door and carefully pushed it open. I tried to crouch down low to get an angle on Garner, but Reid was entirely in the way. I couldn’t see anything. “Don’t you want to help your daughter?”

“My daughter doesn’t really exist. She never did.” Leather creaked again and I could tell that Randall had spun around in his chair, but I still couldn’t see him. “Ask the question!” he demanded with more force.

“Hey, guys…” Spencer called back to us calmly. “Maybe you guys should go wait downstairs.”

“What?” I hissed.

“We’re not going anywhere,” Morgan responded to Spencer.

“Ask the question! Heal me!” Mr. Garner shouted.

I couldn’t hear anything else that was being said. They were too far into the room and their voices had lowered so that their conversation was just theirs. I didn’t know if Reid was getting anywhere with Randall, and I didn’t know if we were going to get the location of Rebecca. Now that we had the bastard, all we needed now was to find his daughter.

Reid started running back down the hall, headed straight for us, yelling, “Run!”

Next thing we knew, the office Mr. Garner was in exploded, shaking the entire house. Reid dove to get further from the blast, and Hotch turned and covered my head with his arm. After the explosion, Hotch and I stood up straight again and made sure that the other was alright before looking over to Morgan and Reid. Morgan was putting out a fire that caught on Spencer’s legs while also helping him up to his feet.

The fire from the explosion started to spread along the hallway, making its way straight for us. We didn’t have much time before the whole house would burn down. I made a dash for the side of the house, calling for the SWAT team and JJ to hurry back downstairs, warning them of the fire that was spreading. Hotch and Morgan were pulling Reid along with them towards the stairs.

“What the hell was that?” Hotch asked.

“He had a bomb,” Reid responded, coughing the smoke out of his lungs. I went in front of them and started racing down the steps. “Wait— Stop, stop, stop, stop… Rebecca—”

“Reid, there’s no time for a search.”

Spencer shushed Hotch and pushed his hair out of his face so that he could think more clearly. “Randall was the fisher king, and this is his castle… Rebecca has to be here…” He snapped his fingers when a lightbulb went off in his mind. “The basement! She’s in the basement!”

Everyone started running downstairs, chasing after Spencer who decided to take the lead again. The boys ran into the basement while JJ and I made sure all of the SWAT team got out safely. We weren’t about to leave a man behind after all of this. Once they were all out, JJ and I stood on the grass in front of the house to watch as it burned. I was staring at the front door intently, praying that they would het Rebecca and come out soon, because if they were going to waste another minute inside, I was going to go back in to find them.

Just as I thought it, though, Reid and Morgan came stumbling out, but not Hotch. I ran back up to the front of the house and caught Morgan. “Where’s Hotch?” I questioned. He was coughing too hard to answer. All he could do was point into the house. “Hotch!” I called, continuing up to the door. “Hotch!”

When I was about to take a brave step into the house, Hotch came stumbling out with Rebecca in his arms. I moved out of the way and followed him back into the grass where he gently put her down. I grabbed his shoulders and turned him to face me.

“You okay?” I asked worriedly.

He nodded. “You?”

I nodded with a sigh of relief.

“Hey, lovebirds!” Morgan called. “Fire department's on their way! We should get Rebecca to the hospital!”

He was right. Randall was gone and Rebecca needed to get treatment. She had been trapped in that basement for two years— who knew what he did to her, even if she was just his daughter. The fact that his delusion was so strong that he couldn’t even recognize that they were family meant that he could have done horrible things to her. Things that I didn’t want to consider. So the best thing to do was make sure that some doctors could check on her.

JJ, Morgan, and Reid took Rebecca in the car we arrived in. Hotch decided that he was going to stay to make sure the fire would be contained and that the SWAT team would clear the area safely. In the car, however, there was no room for me when they had laid Rebecca down next to JJ in the backseat to make sure that she was comfortable. My only option was to stay with Hotch and wait to get a ride back into town.

When the fire department showed up, they drove onto the grass and tried to maintain the fire spread, attempting to keep it away from the woods surrounding us. As Hotch and I watched, my phone started ringing. I turned around, took a few steps out of the way, and answered the call.

“Y/N?” It was Gideon’s number, but it was Elle’s voice. She had woken up after surgery. She was okay. “Are you there?”

I didn’t realize how silent I had been while just thinking about the weight that lifted off of my chest when I finally got to hear her voice again. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m here, Elle.”

“Did you catch the son of a bitch who did this to me?”

I glanced over my shoulder to look at the burning house. “He’s gone.” I bit at my nails and kicked the gravel under my feet nervously. “Are you okay?”

“Never felt better,” she laughed shortly before wincing in pain. “When can you come visit me?”

“I’m on my way right now. I promise.” I snapped in Hotch’s direction to catch his attention before pointing to my phone and mouthing Elle’s name to him. He nodded, said goodbye to the chief of the fire department, and came over to me. “Hotch and I will be there in a few minutes, okay?” Elle hummed an agreement on the other end. “I love you, Elle.”

“Whatever you say, loser. Just get here as soon as you can,” and she hung up.

I rolled my eyes and bit back a smile. The SWAT team had room for us in one of their trucks and offered to drop us off at the hospital. It was a kind gesture, one they really didn’t have to give us, but they said that they didn’t mind since it was on the way back to their office. In the truck, everyone was just as silent as when we first arrived at the house. Even when they dropped us off at the hospital, they only wished us goodnight in quiet murmurs before we closed the back of the vehicle and they were off again. Hotch and I didn’t watch them drive off. We immediately hurried into the hospital and headed for the room that Elle had been assigned to.

When we got to Elle’s room, I saw Gideon sitting beside her, reading something about the case, and she was staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. As Hotch and I entered, however, Gideon stopped reading and Elle broke her trance to look over at us standing in the doorway. She smiled at me as best she could considering the facts. She had only just gotten out of surgery and she was in a lot of pain, and she would be for a long time. The physical and mental wounds of being shot at point blank range wasn’t anything that usually disappeared overnight, no matter how hard Elle would try to convince herself and us otherwise.

Gideon squeezed Elle’s hand gently before standing from his seat and taking his leave from the room, still refusing to look up at me. Once he was gone, I stepped further into the room and took a seat next to Elle’s hospital bed.

“He’s dead,” I told her. My vest was still on and my hair was still pulled back out of my face, which was a tell tale sign that we had just gotten back from a scene, but the fact that Hotch was covered in soot was another sign that something had happened. “We found the girl. She’s going to be okay.”

“That’s good,” Elle smiled.

Hotch was still standing in the doorway, watching Elle from a distance as she slightly struggled to breathe with the oxygen they were pumping into her nose. He gulped and looked at the floor. “I’m going to head out and make sure that the rest of the team is alright.” He glanced at Elle shortly, like he had only mustered enough courage to do so for a few seconds, “I’m glad that you’re here. I’m sorry for sending you home like that.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Hotch,” she insisted, shaking her head to encourage her point.

Hotch nodded like he was trying to convince himself that she was telling the truth, but it wasn’t quite sticking with him yet. He switched his glance to me, “Are you going to stay here tonight?” I nodded. “Do you want me to bring you a change of clothes?”

“If you don’t mind.”

The left side of his mouth curled into a small, shy smile. “I’ll be back in a few hours.” He waited for Elle to look away for a brief moment so that he could steal a second to whisper that he loves me. I whispered it back to him and his smile brightened before he left.

Elle looked at me with a grin, “So… Hotch, huh?” I glared playfully at her, daring her to be careful. “I can’t believe I owe Morgan $20. Is it too late to break up with him?”

I smiled but scrunched my brows in curiosity. “$20?”

“I thought that you would end up going out with him. He didn’t think it was possible. Maybe he knew about you and Hotch this whole time and just wanted my $20.” I hit her good arm gently. “Ow!” she laughed.

“It’s a good thing we’re in a hospital, otherwise I would have killed you.” The joke didn’t quite land the way I thought it would. “Sorry,” I doublebacked.

Elle squeezed my hand. “I’m just glad that you’re here and that you’re happy. That’s all a sister could ask for.”

“I love you.”

She smiled behind the oxygen and the pain coursing through her veins. “I love you, too.”

#criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds imagines #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner imagines

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bellakitse · 5 years

Text

Before the Sun Rises

After everyone leaves the hospital, Carlos still sits with TK. Waiting for him to wake up he tells him how he feels.

SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 8

The clock on the wall says it’s 3 am, which means it’s only been nine hours since TK got shot, and Carlos’ world fell on his head.

“Your dad finally got everyone to go home,” he says softly, he has a firm hold on TK’s hand as he watches him sleep. He can’t help but frown as he takes in how still he seems. TK Strand is not a still man, he’s kinetic energy, a force of nature that barged into Carlos’ quiet simple life with his pretty green eyes and boyish smiles, that make Carlos’ heart race every time he’s lucky enough to have TK’s attention. “I think he might have had to threaten them into going home to get some sleep, but he stayed of course.”

Last he saw, Captain Strand was in the chapel trying to get in touch with an entity, he’s not all that sure he believes in.

“He let me stay too,” Carlos tells TK, he touches the side of his face, pressing at the corner of his mouth. Usually, when he does this, TK grins at him teasingly before pretending like he’s going to bite on his finger. It makes him laugh, and Carlos always has to hush him with a press of his lips against his. “I think he might know about us,” he whispers.

“I tried to play it cool, I swear,” he continues, trying to drown out the beeping of the machines TK is strapped to. “But I think the cat is out of the bag now, sweetheart. One look at my face told him and your team everything they needed to know. I’m so far gone for you, and I’m so damn scared.”

He takes a shuddering breath, closing his eyes hard to keep the tears at bay. His eyes sting from the effort, and he has to bring a hand to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose to be successful.

“You’re not supposed to get shot, Tyler,” he whispers hotly, anger coursing through his veins. Anger at the situation and his helplessness to fix it.

“If anyone is going to get shot in this relationship, it should be the one with the badge, okay? I have enough to worry about with you running into burning buildings, can’t have you adding bullets to the situation too. My heart isn’t built for this kind of stress,” he rants, feeling winded, his skin vibrating, and he has to take a couple of deep breaths to calm down. “Now, I’m ready to forgive you for the emotional distress you have caused me tonight if you open your eyes. Can you do that for me, Tyler? Can you open your eyes?”

Carlos looks at TK, committing his face to memory, laughing softly at himself. Like he hasn’t done that already a million times over. He knows every freckle, every line of this beautiful man’s face. Every new discovery is like a gift, just for him.

“I know we’ve been keeping this thing between us casual and fun,” Carlos swallows hard around the lump of emotion in his throat. “But I think this evening has proven that it’s anything but casual for me. I’m sorry for dropping that on you like this. You have enough to deal with, getting shot and all. But I can’t hide it, not now, not after this. I’m falling for you, TK, every smile, every kiss, every night you spent in my bed, I fall for you a little more. I’m not trying to push you, and I can even take you not feeling the same way. It will hurt, but I can deal.”

Carlos brings TK’s slack hand to his lips, kissing the back of it. “What I can’t deal with is you not opening those big green eyes of yours, so I need you to do that for me. I need you to open your eyes, and if you want me to take a hike, that’s okay. Just let me see your eyes first,” he pleads.

He holds his breath as he watches TK, waiting, hoping that maybe, just maybe, the man he’s been falling in love with does as he asks.

Minutes pass and nothing, and this time when his eyes well up, he doesn’t blink back the tears. He drops his head to the bed next to TK’s hip, allowing himself a moment to silently weep.

“I didn’t think I would fall for you this fast,” he whispers, his voice rough from the tears, and he closes his eyes, trying to get his breathing back under control.

“Me neither.”

Carlos snaps his head up, his eyes going wide as he finds TK Strand looking at him, his eyes a little hazy but open.

“TK,” he breathes, standing up quickly to be able to get closer to the man in the bed.

“Hi,” TK croaks out, wincing from the pain. “You okay?”

Carlos lets out a sobbing laugh at the question, making TK frown as he opens his eyes more fully.

“You��re crying,” he says softly and worried.

“You got shot,” Carlos answers, not being able to keep the reproach out of his voice.

TK frowns again, grimacing as he remembers the call from earlier. “Did everyone get out okay?”

Carlos feels his heart squeeze, of course, that would be one of TK’s first concerns.”Yeah, they’re all okay. Your dad sent them home a little while ago, he’s around here, though. I’ll go get him,” Carlos starts to turn around, stopping when TK grabs hold of his hand.

Carlos turns back to him, finding those big eyes of his on him.

“I heard you,” TK says softly, looking at him meaningfully. “Me too.”

Carlos lets out a breath as his heart pounds hard in his chest. “TK –“

“I’ve been fighting it,” TK continues, his hold on Carlos’ hand tightening. “I thought it was too soon after everything, but now it seems like all I’ve done is waste time. I don’t want to do that, not with you.”

Carlos leans down until his face is inches away from TK’s, he runs a hand through his hair just like he had done earlier. “We have time,” he promises, meaning it more than anything he has ever meant before. “We have all the time in the world. After you get better and get out of here, I’ll show you just how much time we have, and how amazing it’s going to be between us. Okay?”

TK smiles at him as he gives him a nod. “Tell me again,” he sighs, his focus solely on Carlos.

Carlos presses his forehead against TK’s, watching as TK’s smile grows when he runs his nose against his. “I love you, Tyler,” he whispers, and the smile that TK gives him before he goes to sleep again, could rival the sun.

#911 lone star #tarlos fic #tarlos #911 lone star fic #spoilers #tk x carlos #my writing

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archivingspn · 3 years

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Variety- “‘Supernatural’ Team Talks Doing ‘Justice’ to Show, Characters and #SPNFamily in Final Season”

As “Supernatural” prepares to sign off this year, the men behind the show are trying not to let “the weight of what this season is creep into” their daily work on-set, series star Jensen Ackles said at the farewell panel for the CW demon-hunting drama at the Television Critics Assn. press tour Sunday.

Instead, they want to focus on the work, doing what they have done for 14 seasons, rather than try to “reinvent the wheel,” added Ackles.

“I want it to do justice to what we’ve built for the past 14 and a half years, and right now I think the game plan we have is going to do just that. You’re not going to please everybody — you just can’t — but for the majority of the fans that have been with us on this journey, it’s going to feel right and it’s going to feel good. I know that’s how I feel and I’m still excited to tell that story,” he said.

In the show’s earliest days, “Supernatural’s” future was not so certain. Series star Jared Padalecki admitted that he originally thought the show would simply end when they closed the trunk and said, “We have to work to do” in the pilot. The show had not been picked up to series yet, and the pilot process is “such a bizarre thing,” he said.

The show did get picked up, but in its earlier years it was very much a bubble show, filming (and often airing) a finale without knowing if it would see more life. In the later half of the show’s life, that began to shift, with the CW granting the series early renewals.

“One of the blessings, I feel, has been that we’ve known that we’re carrying on so we don’t have to create a false ending every season,” Padalecki said.

Over the seasons, a couple of spinoff ideas were attempted at the network, as well, but they did not go. Earlier in the CW’s TCA tour Sunday, network president Mark Pedowitz admitted he was not looking at other ways to continue the world without Ackles and Padalecki right now.

“There is something very, very humbling about the fact that this show keeps going. We do see a lot of spinoffs on our networks and other networks and in movies, and it’s humbling to think still want us to be a part of it,” Padalecki said.

Added Ackles: “When you have a show that is so anchored, not in a world but around two characters, it makes it difficult to tell the story without those two characters.”

(...)

The boys and Castiel (Misha Collins) are stuck in this temporary shelter, and although “it’s a triage situation first,” Padalecki told Variety to first stay alive, “there are undercurrents of anger, of tension, resentment [that] we’ll get to when we get to.”

Added Collins: “At the outset of the season [Castiel] is working with the boys but also not feeling emotionally integrated, if that makes sense. We have a fight to fight here, but I think there’s a detachment there, too. And that’s hard, and that plays out later in the season.”

The reason for this, he continued, is that “This is an instance in which Jack’s death is so hard on him, but he’s also dealing with Dean being mad at him about Mary’s death, and I think that Cas doesn’t really feel responsible for that: I think he feels he did his best — he was trying — so it’s a rare instance of him not taking the full burden of something.”

Those pieces of the story come in the second episode, although all three men (Ackles, Padalecki and Collins) admitted they hadn’t thought about how much animosity might have been caused by the fact that Chuck aka God answered Castiel’s prayer in the Season 14 finale, after he had failed to answer the brothers’ prayers for so many years.

“I don’t think they’re there yet, to complain about that,” Padalecki said. “I think Sam and Dean, certainly Sam, is more like, ‘Have we been hamsters on a wheel the whole time? Rats in a maze? What have we done?’ I think we then start dealing with questions of, ‘What is free will? Is it all predetermined? Why try hard if it’s all going to turn out the way Chuck decided it’s going to turn out?'”

Added Ackles: “Basically, is everything we’ve done our whole lives now erased — eradicated — because these things are back? All of that work is essentially gone.” This will lead the brothers — and the show — to “tackle” why one should keep fighting if nothing they do matters, to which, Ackles said the ultimate answer is, “This is what they do. Any excuse to give up is not an excuse good enough for them. This is who they are.”

Although Dean and Sam would be willing to spend “years and years and years” fighting all of these things again, as Ackles put it, maybe the bigger question is how to handle Chuck. After all, if they can get rid of the big bad that brought back all of these foes, wouldn’t that ensure the little bads stop coming?

“The season hasn’t been written yet,” Padalecki admitted, “but I feel like we’re after Chuck. We’re trying to get answers. We’re trying to earn our free will, so to speak. So I feel like what’s been really important to Sam and Dean for many, many years was, ‘Hey, we’re making decisions to make the world a better place — to help the people who can’t help themselves.’ And now we’ve been told, ‘You’re just a story I like to watch,’ and now we’re trying to fight for the privilege and responsibility of actually having free will.”

Executive producer Robert Singer noted that in previous seasons, they would always end on a cliffhanger, but in developing the final season, “it’s a different experience.”

“It’s a true ending,” Dabb added. And “in a true ending, people can’t keep coming back over and over again. They’re going to be facing life or death — this time it’s for real.”

Collins was one actor who admitted that he didn’t feel his character needed to survive the series. “It’s funny, but from the very beginning I’ve always imagined that Cas would die right before the end, because I feel like the show somehow needs to end with Sam and Dean alone,” he told Variety. “But I don’t see a lot of people living at the end of ‘Supernatural’ because I think it needs a kind of closure that only definitive death can bring. That’s very morose, but true. I don’t think we want a ‘Game of Thrones’ ending on ‘Supernatural.'”

One thing Collins did say he wanted before the series ended, though, was to see Castiel truly express his loyalty to the Winchesters. “I would love to see him just be able to say, ‘You’re my people. You’re who I care about that.’ I’d love to see him make a sacrifice,” he shared.

The reason they wanted to go out now, Padalecki shared because they didn’t want to be “the last guy at the party.

“This show is going so strong. It’s going so well right now,” he explained. “We’re such a well-oiled machine, we thought it would be almost poetic and indicative of what ‘Supernatural’ is about to say goodbye too soon.”

However, while “Supernatural” as a long-running drama will definitely end in 2020 after the 20-episode 15th season, Ackles said he felt the culture the show has created and the experience of the show is “a long journey that I don’t think is ever going to be over. I just think we’re going to go away for awhile.”

Does this mean the “Supernatural” cast and crew would be open to a limited series revival in a few years or some kind of movie?

“I’m never ever ready to close doors or burn bridges, I think that’s foolish. Am I saying there’s conversations? No. Am I saying I’d be open to conversations in the future? What’s the harm in that?” Ackles said.

[source]

#2019-Aug #2019:August4Variety #*SMT #*BOG #*TOF #c/m saved the show #Jensen Ackles #Jared Padalecki #Misha Collins #Andrew Dabb #Robert Singer #author: Danielle Turchiano #Variety

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embracethecringeside · 4 years

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OK, here's one: do you think that there's any genuine good in Rick? I can't make up my mind about that one. I don't think he's evil or a sociopath (a lot of fans called him that in the early days, that term is so misused), but his intense self-hatred seems to be the only redeeming thing about him. He must have some sense of morality because he knows he's done horrible things, but he makes zero effort to stop doing horrible things unless it benefits him somehow.

My short answer is yes, Rick has genuine good wrapped up in there but my full answer is a bunch of examples from the show that I would like to call Soft Sanchez moments, where Rick either does something good/says something real and genuine/or his goodness is talked about in some fashion.

Meeseeks and Destroy

Morty: Look, I want to leave now. You win the bet, okay? (Searches Rick's lab coat for the portal gun) Just give me the portal gun and let's go, please!

(Rick sees the badly beaten Mr. Jelly Bean walk out of the bathroom and pieces together what happened)

Morty: Please, I just want to... go h-home. (Tears up and holds onto Rick)

Rick: Okay. Listen, Morty. I just won a bunch of shmeckels. Why don't we use 25 of them to pay slippery stair here for a ride back to the village, and then we'll give the rest of the shmeckels to the villagers, huh?

Morty: Really?

Rick: Sure, Morty. Yeah. You know, a good adventure needs a good ending.

Rick: Good job, Morty. Looks like you won the bet.

Morty: Thanks, Rick, but I don't know if I should. You know, you were right about the universe. It's a crazy and chaotic place.

Rick: Well, you know, maybe that's why it could use a little cleaning up every now and then, you know. This one's wrapped up neat and clean because we did it Morty style.

(They portal away, but Rick makes another portal back and sticks an energy pistol through it and shoots Mr. Jelly Bean, splattering him all over the screaming villagers)

A Rickle In Time

(Puts his own collar on Morty, who disappears)

Rick: I'm okay with this. Be good Morty. Be better than me. Holy shit, the other collar! I'm not okay with this! I am not okay with this! Oh, sweet Jesus please let me live. Oh, my God I—I've gotta fix this thing, please God in Heaven, please, God, oh Lord, hear my prayers. Yes! Fuck you God! Not today, bitch.

Mortynight Run

Rick: Screw this. I’m out.

(Rick forms a portal and leaves through it. Morty tries to start the car as a Gromflomite approaches, but it stalls.)

Morty: Oooh…! Come on, come on!

Gromflomite: Get out of the vehicle made of garbage or we will open fire!

Morty: *still trying to start the car* Oh no no no!

Gromflomite: Open fire!

(A portal appears directly above the guards and water pours out of it, flooding the room. Another portal appears on the floor, and the water and Gromflomites are sucked into it. A third portal then appears and Rick emerges through it, walking up to the car.)

Rick: Stupid-ass fart-saving carpet-store motherfucker! *shoves Morty out of the driver’s seat and takes the wheel* Move!

Auto Erotic Assimilation

Rick: You got that right. But... baby, listen. Y-you're talking about taking over planets and galaxies, you gotta... you gotta just... remember to let go sometimes, you know.

Unity (Administrator): I can let go! Hey, look! You see that town across the river? Watch this.

(Planes fly past and bomb the town, blowing it all up)

Rick: Whoa!

Unity (Administrator): Ha ha! Woot!

Rick: Whoa! That's not what I meant!

Unity (Administrator): [laughing] It's okay! It's okay, I evacuated! I evacuated the town, look!

Unity (Townspeople): Hey! Right here! We’re fine!

Rick: (laughing) Oh, that was awesome! My grandkids weren't in that town, right? A-are my grandkids alive? ... H-hey, my drink is empty

Get Swifty

Rick: Take it from me, Ice. *burp* You can’t just *burp* float around space not caring about stuff forever.

Morty: Tammy… gross. Birdperson, you always stick up for Rick, but he doesn’t care about anyone but himself. He doesn’t think about the consequences of anything he does.

Birdperson: And as a result, he has the power to save or destroy entire worlds. And he is the reason you and I know each other. And the reason I’m alive at all.

Look Who’s Purging Now

Arthrisha: Wait, stop! Please, don't kill me! I-I never intended to harm you, I swear. I am trying to end the festival. W-w-what do you mean? I was going to use your ship to destroy the rich assholes that run our society and save my people from the horrors of this yearly festival.

Rick: I'm not here to judge. I'm just a guy from another planet. But this girl is one of your poor people, and I guess you guys felt like it was okay to subject her to inhuman conditions because there was no chance of it ever hurting you. It's sort of the socio-political equivalent of, say, a suit of power armor around you. But now things are evened out, so, Arthrisha?

Morty: I can't help but feel ashamed about what I did back there, Rick. I guess you were right. I've got a lot of repressed stuff. I need to deal with.

Rick: Don't worry about it, Morty.Remember those candy bars earlier that we got in the first act?

Morty: Yeah, what about them?

Rick: Turns out they have a chemical in them called purgenol that amplifies all your violent tendencies.

Morty: Oh, boy. Whew! Thank goodness for that, huh? That's a relief.

Rick: Yep. Don't even sweat. You're still the same old Morty. Your character's totally protected. (camera pans out to reveal the label on the chocolate bars reads “now purgenol-free”)

The Wedding Squanchers

BirdPerson: The guest list at this wedding includes 17 of the federation's most wanted. We have committed numerous atrocities in the name of freedom.

Rick: But... but... Here's the thing. Birdperson is my best friend, and if he loves Tammy, well, then I love Tammy, too. (Cheers and applause) To friendship, to love, and to my greatest adventure yet... opening myself up to others.

The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy

Rick: And you know what? I’ll cop to it. I put a lot of strain on your marriage. It wasn’t fair. I’m sorry.

Jerry: What?!

Rick: I didn’t respect your marriage. I certainly didn’t do it any favors. And for what it’s worth, I’ll apologize to Beth for it when we get home. Whoo! Whirly Dirly! Yeah!

Pickle Rick

I’m trying to let the scripts show all the ways Rick is good before I jumped in but since this is really weird without just watching the episode I’ll just explain that Rick doesn’t kill Jaguar after he finds out he has a daughter and then they work together to escape.

The Old Man and The Seat

Tony: Can I look at a photo of my wife while you kill me?

Rick: Sure, but I'm doing her a favor. She either has terrible taste, or she's trapped in a marriage to a toilet thief.

Tony: She's dead. And I don't mind joining her. Life has been hollow since I lost her. Using your toilet was nice, though. I'm a bit of a shy pooper. I'm ready when you are.

Rick: Stay there. (goes through a portal, comes back with another Tony) Tell him what you told me.

Other Tony: What is this? What's happening?

Rick: Tell him what you told me.

Other Tony: My wife's still alive. Sh... sh... she went into remission 10 years ago.

Rick: And what did you do today?

Other Tony: Oh, I, uh, pooped on a really awesome toilet I found... Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, oh! (Rick shoves him back through the portal)

Rick”: Don't use your dead wife as an excuse. You ( Bleep ) on my toilet because you don't know your place, and your place is nothing. So next time you stumble onto a toilet that feels too good for your ass, trust me, it is.

Tony: You're not gonna kill me?

Rick: Don’t tell me what to do!

Tony: You can make a perfectly-realized, toilet-filled simulation of heaven, but you can't share a toilet?

Rick: Don't insult my craft. The chemical is Globaflyn. It connects the whatever-you-want section of your brain to the whatever-you-have section. If your heaven is toilets, that's on you.

Tony: All of these people...

Rick: Are living their wildest, meaningless dreams and leaving me out of them.

Tony: People you refuse to kill and refuse to let into your life.

Star Mort Rickturn of the Jerry

(Rick reveals he has saved what he could of PhoenixPerson)

Okay and on to the big one where I am actually going to talk instead of just letting the script go off Rest and Ricklaxation. We see two sides of Rick, Healthy Rick and Toxic Rick. After Healthy Morty slaps Healthy Rick, and he slaps him back, he discovers the machine doesn’t actually know the difference between what is truly healthy and whats actually toxic, it goes by each person’s individual definition. Shortly after we as the audience learn that Healthy Rick? Is actually apathetic. He doesn’t care about others. All the caring and emotions are wrapped up in Toxic Rick. Everything Healthy Rick did and said is all stuff he believes are good, he apologies, he takes responsibility for his actions, he’s polite, he’s trusting, and he doesn’t try to control others, but he is doing all of this simply because he thinks he should. So it is completely selfless when he makes the bargain so Toxic Rick will merge with him, because, and he even says it, he hates having what he considers his toxins inside of him, but it’s the right thing to do.

Then of course Healthy Rick calls Toxic Rick out, knowing that he is the one with all his, “irrational attachments” as he puts it, and as much as Toxic Rick no longer wishes to be a part of Healthy Rick, he merges with him under the pretence that he will then be able to save Toxic Morty. Both act selflessly for different reasons, Healthy Rick believing it is the right thing to do, while Toxic Rick does it for Morty.

So do I believe that there is good in Rick?? Heck yes!! Good is stored in the garbage grandpa!

#rick sanchez #rick and morty #this took forever im sorry #ellie answers #long post #rnm #ram #rick sanchez has morals and a heart y'all #ellie's answers #love my awful grandpa

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kim-lexie · 4 years

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‘start up’: week-by-week playback

here is a week-by-week playback of events from ‘start up’ and my unfiltered feelings. hope you enjoy! if you want to see somewhat cohesive thoughts on ‘start up’ check out my official review. here :)

*spoiler alert*

ep 1

ladies and gents it’s going to be a good one. i loved being able to see this backstory to lay all the groundwork for the future of the drama.

his story is devastating as a young individual unable to make his way into the world and then making a way to find it isn’t how he expected and lost a real thing he had with the relationship with the her grandmother. but the redemption when he goes to see her again.

her family becoming broken. her sister severing the relationship and chalking it up to being ‘oh i made the better choice’. and her father dying while getting her chicken and trying to get an investment to not let his daughter go hungry and to bring his family together.

to him making up a character that got her through hard times. and then trying to find him again. this is going to be great. and i know i’m going to be devastated bc she fell in love with the other man to begin with, and now she will see this new person.

soooooo much happened and i’m clearly not ready.

ep 2

why? why do we lie? we know nothing good will come of it. if anything this jipyeong is who she loves. but why lie? literally you can own up to it and start over boo.

disappointed in our sweet grandma for lying to dalmi for so long.

her sister is awful. and so is this ‘mother’.

this man just wanted to start up his start up but he was like nah don’t want to help you even though i need you. feel in love with the girl in the letters and showed up bc of the goodness of his heart. hope he doesn’t get lost in the fantasy of it.

their business, samsan tech, is going to be wild and great and he missed his opportunity.

ep 3

her mother saying she is the same as her dad not having a plan is so wack, and makes me want her to slap her.

aren’t you curious? why aren’t you asking why i am like this? because that is my concept the quiet good looking type. i can’t with him hahaha

i love that he asked about the music box. i wish it was really him that wrote the letters, because this will be heartbreaking when she finds out.

‘it wouldn’t be bad to sail off without a map even if we got lost, if it’s with you.’

this kid, dosan, is too funny.

i cannot believe her ‘father’ just throw her under the bus and had her oppa takes over the Korean branch of her company that she formed.

dang it. girl quits her job because he started his own company

they got first place. is that enough inkling for you?!?!?

they both like her. but only one of them will admit his feelings so he will win in the end. i’m so excited to see all of their relationships develop.

the cringe level of the edit of her winning her award. i cannot even. they’re charming everyone loves it.

ep 4

him learning how to be a hot shot ceo. i can’t. the placemats he is struggling.

his friend breaking the 3rd wall and telling us how dosan drives away all the ladies in university.

poor guy the only things she likes about him aren’t him at all but jipyeong.

she is going to be their ceo isn’t she. bc he said that he can’t be ceo. she’d kill it. what a queen.

yes boo! there it is we know who you’re going to pick. bc she wants them to recruit you not the other way around.

ep 5

this was a stellar episode. from both teams using the same data set and coming up with wildly different ideas to samsan tech almost crashing down. but setting a fire to dosan to do better and be more ambitious. i’m so excited.

our girl killed her presentation yes queen. you got this. the fact that the boys created a whole new software. these folks would be crazy to not invest.

this alex guy really believes in them i’m excited to see if there will be rivalry between the two hot shot ceo’s

the fact that her grandma doesn’t regret not sending her to college but rather regrets not meeting him earlier to support and encourage him made me cry.

ep 6

this was a great episode. so much happened in the development of their little company. disorder and disagreements led to stronger relations within the company.

i love how she picked the mentor. like yup i know alex is the biggest deal since slice bread but you’re our homie.

the fact that dosan was ready to come clean about the letters but overheard the grandmother get a sad report from the doctors and wanted to protect her and her granddaughter. so sad.

ep 7

i really need more than a second male lead for this man. i can’t stand the way he looks at her. he loves her and is trying so hard to shut off his heart to her.

i love the bickering between the two male leads. like seriously hilarious.

i love the sweet relationship that nam dosan will now have with her grandmother. and i love the idea concept he had for their business. a beautiful heart behind the machine.

dosan standing up for her and standing against this horrible man out to exploit their talent.

this ending scene i can’t. they’re cute too. and precious.

he kept the plant and is going to give it nutrients to keep it well. please do the same with your relationship with her honey.

ep 8

i really love jipyeong and need them together.

i cannot with their ceo step dad. like isn’t this too much.

i want the boss lady at sandbox to know that dalmi is the sandbox girl!!!

ep 9

the wind turned into a heavy storm that destroyed his self esteem. he feels himself falling apart bc of his secret.

she was attacked!

‘i made a wrong turn and stumbled upon fireworks’ nam dosan.

he brought them to the beach after reading that review of wanting to see more beauty that the world has to offer. i need him to own up to his feelings and make a move.

don’t lie bro we know you like dalmi. and of course it’s raining. bc that’s how it is.

we still get a scene with them running through the rain the chul-san and yong-san.

my heart is crumbling into a million pieces. jipyeong’s there and dosan isn’t. what are we going to do. this ain’t the moment of revelation we wanted.

ep 10

jipyeong is so great. 10 out of 10.

i don’t know what it is but i really am not about dosan’s character for some reason. i really just want jipyeong to be honest from the start and he could have ended up with her.

my heart. our dalmi.

‘i wanted to be the person you wanted. but it was too hard to bear.’

‘the person i want. i don’t know who that is.’

is the sibling of the member that died in their group?

do-san can’t leave his boys!!

‘does my dream have to be success. can’t it be a person?’

he just confesses to liking her while he was mixing their noodles. i can’t with him. love that he’s finally being honest. now it’s all up to dalmi.

everyone encouraging her before she has to promote their company. she did this. she is the ceo. she’s got this.

what the even?!? jipyeong was the one that was harsh to him. and it led his brother to commit suicide. oh no. and now they’re in the elevator together what’s going to happen?!?!

now she has two plan b?!? one from the investor and one from dosan and the big tech company.

they both confessed to the nice lady at the bar. hahaha i love these epilogue moments.

ep 11

yong-san’s brother story is so sad.

his dad standing up for the present he desperately wants to keep. and being the bridge for innovation.

their software worked on alex’s scheme!!!

and they won demo day.

oh no but alex isn’t as great as we thought he was...

chul-san and sa-ha are dating. i cannot even. this is the best!!!

they’re such a good team. brainstorming after their win. they cannot disband them.

i thought our man was going to get to them

in time to stop them from signing. but he didn’t.

ep 12

bro. alex is awful i hate this man.

the moments between. hjp and mrs. choi you are brilliant and heart breaking. i really want them to continue to grow into a better person and end up with dalmi.

why y’all got to fight why is dosan doing this. bro you’re not getting any brownie points by being like this dude.

i really love this side story with chulsan and saha. they’re cute. well we can share the vanilla latte. cute!!!!

chulsan made her a video of numbers to help her fall asleep. he’s too cute i want her to admit that she likes him. ahhhhhhhhh

the fact that they ended up going and we’ll have a three year gap errrrks me. like our boy jhp is going to finally start making moves and dosan is going to run in and save the day. like bro you’re a mess.

i hope they were able to save the app for her grandmother.

her applying to her sisters company i’m excited.

ep 13

lolol they used his cousin for the commercial and injae looks sooo cute. frozen inspired.

i love how she had /iced vanilla latte lover’ as chul-san’s contact name and the vlogs!!!

hjp our man saved her from the insurance guy.

now they all play go stop together!!!!

she tucked him in and he gets to stay

youngsil calling him out to just swing the bat and don’t hesitate or he’ll lose. is this foreshadowing our man losing dalmi?!?

they finally got to eat at the bbq restaurant that was below their original building

frick my life. why is his timing always wack.

at least chulson and saha can sail.

the whole gang is back together!

it was the twins that hacked it wasn’t it?!?

he stopped him. come on baby.

ep 14

i love his man listening to her cry. hiding her because she didn’t want her staff to see. and telling her to chill until she is ready. i love this man.

that’s right honey. don’t answer that phone move on.

their little photoshoot was faboulous, them as RGB

yes queen. she went to confront her family. and be like boo you thought i didn’t chance. honey you’re in for it.

her mother wanting to pay back her mother-in-law for raising her daughter in her steed.

dosan turned her down her offer to be their AI specialists at her company.

i love that his father saved the baseball.

me finally accepting my ship won’t sail when their girl walked 5 hours in the woods to get to dosan.

yong-san apologizing for saying that jhp killed his brother. they both are apologizing.

they all end up joining her company!!!!

ep 15

their self driving car passed the test. they’re too cute in their celebration.

she doesn’t want to lose her team again if they lose their bid.

sa ha is finally falling for chulsan. he’s so precious. him being like oh wait you’re asking me out.

of course it would be this trip getting stuck in an elevator together.

sailing off without a map. never will regret it. -dosan

injae absolved her adoption after seeing her grandmother.

he tired to out so all their memories with that one thing alone his big hands. hahah oh do san.

my hjp finally let go. he took his losses and kept the money tree and letters. it isn’t enough honey boo.

stop feeling inferior to me. work on your self esteem and look at dalmi again. then you’ll know who she really likes. with those hands alone, you beat our memories. -hjp

because it’s you. you’re the reason. that’s it. -dalmi on liking dosan

i really don’t like them together. but whatever i shall not have my way in this. it’s fine hjp is mine.

i love the sisters together. they’re precious talking about the sandbox girl.

is this article going to frick up their bid?!? but it was his hackers that did it the twins!!!

is hjp going to save the day?!?

ep 16

dalmi and dosan are a dream team. and they just served that reporter one great tell all.

i still can’t process bc i love hjp.

i feel like it hit mrs. choi when they were all talking dosan and dalmi when are finally saw dosan after a few years that her good boy would feel alone. TT

‘don’t become any lonelier jipyeong...’ their relationship makes me cry. i love that

i can’t everyone saying what they’ll do if they win. PROPOSE. say who their boyfriend is?!?!

i’m excited to see this start up to connect orphanages with a sponsor to help them in that transition. it’s a perfect fit for him. ‘i like your voice’, because it sounds like young-sil the voice of the app/help device. he’s going to personally invest and help them with their business plan. and then sponser kids!!! he is seriously a dream.

chulsan and saha are too cute. i love that she introduced him as her boyfriend. he was not expecting that. she finally found someone who she’s been looking for!

was that their goodbye? he isn’t the dosan from the letters? huh?

in jae is such a queen serving those papers to her dad at the q and a session, that no one showed up to.

them all crying in their old rooftop office. they’re such dorks i love them

his father took the sign to replace it with the one from the math competition.

dalmi and injae’s relationship is too precious.

he’s going to invest in their company. and dosan accepted hjp’s investment.

i want to change the world. follow your dream.

i liked this one.

i wonder if they won.......oh the epilogue!!!

they got married. and they kept the baseball. chul-san and saha revealed they were a couple. chul-san shaved his hair! i loved that we saw it all though pictures on their desk!! that was a creative way to fit everything in!

shareholders meeting!!! the gang taking over the world!

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tomeandflickcorner · 4 years

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Episode Review- The Real Ghostbusters: Janine Melnitz, Ghostbuster

Awesome! We got a Janine centric episode! And it really gives her a chance to shine!

There’s apparently been a huge spike in paranormal activity within the city, and the Ghostbusters are struggling to keep up with their mounting workload. Each day, they have to head out to take on a number of busts and when they come back, they’re greeted with a pile of new additions to their worksheet. Needless to say, they’re really exhausted. Peter asks Egon what could be causing this rising amount of ghosts appearing in the city, but Egon doesn’t have any answers. And when he takes out his PKE Meter, it immediately overloads, further illustrating how serious things are.

When Winston and Ray head down to the basement to unload the new batch of captured ghosts into the Containment Unit, with Ray saying they’ll have to add another Klein Bottle to the machine to prevent it from going over max capacity, Janine approaches Egon and Peter. She basically says ‘hey, I know you guys are super busy and all, but my apartment is haunted. Can you please do something about that?’ But Peter and Egon tell her they can’t address her problem until after they resolve the supernatural crisis. And yeah, I can see both sides of the issue here. Janine is clearly not the only one dealing with a ghost problem right now, and it probably should be an issue of first come, first served. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be fair to everyone else. At the same time, Janine is on the Ghostbusters’ payroll, too. You’d think there would be some sort of office perk to that.

Anyway, Janine ends up returning to her apartment after clocking out for the day. When she arrives, she is aggravated to discover that the ghosts haunting her apartment have moved all of her furniture up onto the ceiling. In frustration, she yells at the ghosts to get out, but the ghosts all just laugh. Though they do unstick all her furniture, which all falls to the ground, forcing poor Janine to put everything back in place. The next morning, Janine wakes up to find her bed is floating in midair. And when she gets into the shower, no water comes out of the showerhead. Instead, the shower quickly fills up with frogs. As one might expect, this is the final straw for Janine. So when she returns to the Firehouse, she is fully prepared to demand the Ghostbusters help her out. But when she arrives, she is greeted only by Slimer, who informs her the Ghostbusters had already headed out to deal with other calls. So Janine decides to take matters into her own hands, borrowing one of Peter’s spare uniforms and taking an extra Proton Pack and Ghost Trap. She returns to her apartment to catch the ghosts herself, with Slimer tagging along. When they get there, the apartment seems to be deserted. And for a brief moment, Janine wonders if the ghosts had simply gotten bored and left on their own. But then the lights suddenly turn off, and the ghosts begin throwing random objects at Janine while Slimer hides in a nearby cabinet. (Janine is particularly angry that a vase her mother had given her gets smashed against the wall.) Despite Janine’s best efforts, the ghosts quickly get the better of her, wrapping her up in a blanket and taking away the Proton Pack she was carrying. Fortunately, Slimer eventually decided to quit cowering in the corner and actually help out. While the other ghosts were distracted in tormenting Janine, Slimer carefully pushed the discarded Ghost Trap into position and triggered it, making sure to hold onto a fixed object in order to keep himself from being pulled into the trap as well. So the ghosts haunting Janine’s apartment are soon trapped. And Janine thanks Slimer for coming to her rescue.

Meanwhile, the Ghostbusters were still hard at work catching all the other ghosts plaguing the city. Including a group of thug-like ghosts who were actually wielding real guns. I have no idea why I found this so hilariously shocking. After all, it’s not the first time we’ve seen guns depicted in this show. Maybe it’s the fact that the guns are being held by these small ghosts as if it was no big deal. Sometimes I forget that the 80s were a different time. Anyway, as the Ghostbusters start to head off to their next assignment, Winston remarks how the last time ghosts were crawling out of the woodwork like this, it was when Gozer was around. Peter briefly wonders if it was possible that Gozer was somehow coming back, but Egon says this wasn’t the case, as none of the readings suggest such a thing. However, he does take note that the ghosts they’ve been catching all have a common spectrography. Which suggests that there’s a single source for all the ghostly activity. Unfortunately, there’s too much spectral static for him to pinpoint the exact location of that singular source. Peter tries to put a positive spin on things by reminding his teammates of how much money they’re making. Winston counters this silver lining by reminding Peter that they’ve been too busy to make much use of that extra money.

As the Ghostbusters head off to Gracie Manor, which is being haunted by a Class 9 Free Roaming Vapor, that statue of Atlas at Rockefeller Center suddenly comes to life, scaring off all the ice skaters in the process. (So I’m guessing this episode takes place during the winter months.) The Atlas Statue ends up throwing the globe it was carrying, which just narrowly misses the Ecto-1 as it drives by. The Ghostbusters try to shoot the Atlas Statue with their Proton Packs, but it proves to be completely ineffective, since the stature was infused with so much ectonic energy, it could resist the force of the Proton Streams. So the Ghostbusters have no choice but to run. They try to get creative and slow the Atlas Statue down by using the Proton Packs to melt the ice beneath it as the Atlas Statue sets foot onto the ice skating rink, but this doesn’t work as the Atlas Statue is able to jump back out of the hole in the ice. The Atlas Statue then fires of a beam of light emanating from its finger at the Ghostbusters. In a flash of light, the Ghostbusters all vanish from sight, much to the shocked dismay of the onlookers and news reporters.

Elsewhere, Janine and Slimer return to the Firehose after capturing the ghosts that had been haunting Janine’s apartment. When they see the Ghostbusters haven’t retuned yet, they decide to wait for them to get back. As they wait, Janine pulls out a TV set. This results in her seeing the news report announcing that the Ghostbusters disappeared while fighting the Atlas Statue. So Janine and Slimer hurry back out to try and figure out what happened to the Ghostbusters. When they arrive at Rockefeller Center, Janine pulls out the PKE Meter she’d brought with her, but quickly admits to Slimer that she has no idea what she’s doing. She can’t even properly analyze the readings on the PKE Meter.

Janine and Slimer begin to wander along the city streets, at a loss as to what to do. But that’s when Janine realizes something. Remembering how the Ghostbusters seemed to disappear as if they got pulled into a Ghost Trap, she gets the idea of getting information from some of the ghosts that have recently been caught. After all, maybe they might know what happened to the Ghostbusters. While she admits it’s a long shot, it’s the only possible lead they have. Of course, Janine can’t enter into the Containment Unit herself as she’s alive. (And she probably can’t use that special suit Egon used to enter into the Containment Unit back in X-Mas Marks the Spot as I imagine she’d need someone who knew what they were doing manning the control panel.) So she recruits Slimer to go into the Containment Unit instead. Slimer is not exactly on board with the idea, but Janine doesn’t give him much of a choice. Upon being put inside the Containment Unit, Slimer wanders around for a bit before he manages to locate the Thug Ghosts that the Ghostbusters had recently caught. Slimer eavesdrops on their conversation, overhearing them gloating how they won’t be there for long as Proteus will see that they’re released soon enough. And that Proteus already has the Ghostbusters in the Erie.

Okay, hold on a minute here. First off, how do these Thug Ghosts know what happened to the Ghostbusters? From what we saw, these ghosts were captured before the Ghostbusters encountered the Atlas Statue. How would the ghosts in the Containment Unit know what’s going on in the outside world? And come to think of it, when did the Thug Ghosts get put into the Containment Unit in the first place? They were just captured earlier this very same day. Did the Ghostbusters swing by the Firehouse between capturing the Thug Ghosts and starting to head off to Gracie Mansion? Because I didn’t get the impression they had the time to do that. Talk about a plot hole.

Getting back to the episode, Slimer’s presence is discovered before he can get the chance to hear anything more, so he has to make a run for it when the captured ghosts begin chasing after him. Slimer manages to make it safely back to the entrance/exit port of the Containment Unit, and Janine is able to pull him out in the nick of time while preventing any other ghost from escaping. Now that she’s armed with the information Slimer was able to gather up, Janine does some research and locates the only Erie building listed in Manhattan. After making a remark about how there’s never any thirteenth floor listed on the elevator buttons due to how superstitious people can be, Janine ventures up to the top floor of the building. But she notices the PKE Meter is going off as they pass by the 14th floor. As a result, Janine is able to discover this building has an unmarked 13th floor, and she is able to reach it by hitting the emergency stop button and blasting the elevator doors open. She finds herself in some sort of other-worldly office building, complete with a demonic receptionist. After brushing past the Demon Receptionist, Janine forces her way through a large doorway, ending up in a room that appears to be filled with mirrors. These mirrors are soon revealed to be some sort of prison cells, with the Ghostbusters all imprisoned within one of the mirrors. Which gives Janine the opportunity to make a Lewis Carol joke. Egon instructs Janine to get out of there since she doesn’t know what she’s up against. Ray backs up Egon’s statement by explaining that Proteus was a primal god like Gozer.

At that moment, Proteus himself appears. And he somehow knows Janine’s name. (Yeah, I suppose he might have overheard the Ghostbusters calling her Janine, but that doesn’t explain how Proteus knew her full name.) Janine attempts to shoot Proteus with the Proton Pack, but to no avail as Proteus is much too strong. Slimer, showing some courage, ends up charging at Proteus and keeping him distracted. While Slimer is distracting Proteus, Janine turns and fires at the mirror prison holding the Ghostbusters captive. This not only results in the mirror breaking, freeing the Ghostbusters in the process, but the light reflecting off the mirror surface apparently momentarily blinds Proteus. The blinded Proteus ended up firing off one of his finger beams randomly, with the finger beam bouncing off the other mirrors. This resulted in the finger beam overloading, causing the place to begin to fall apart. Thankfully, the Ghostbusters, Janine and Slimer are able to make it out of there safely before the 13th floor blows up, clearly taking Proteus out in the process.

Upon returning to the Firehouse, Egon remarks that Janine showed real bravery to come after them like that. The other Ghostbusters then notice the phones are no longer ringing off the hook, and Ray concludes that, with Proteus gone, the paranormal activity in New York will probably return to normal. Peter then tells Janine that she’s pretty handy with a Proton Pack, so Janine suggests that she should try to go into business for herself. Peter offers an alternative suggestion- she stay on as their secretary, but with a raise in salary. Janine accepts this, on the condition that they continue to make sure her apartment remains ghost-free. With the exception of Slimer, of course.

As someone who likes Janine as a character, this was one episode I’d recommend to anyone who was interested in giving the show a chance. Obviously, Janine doesn’t have the experience and knowledge that the actual Ghostbusters have, but she still is able to hold her own when the situation calls for it. She even managed to defeat Proteus, a literal god. Sure, Slimer did help keep Proteus distracted for a little while there, so she didn’t do it alone. But the fact remains that Proteus was defeated because of Janine. And she also helped save the Ghostbusters in the process. That’s not just an impressive feat for a secretary with no real Ghostbuster training, it’s impressive for anyone. Though I do find it a bit strange that Peter seemed surprised how good Janine was with a Proton Pack, as this isn’t the first time she’d wielded one. Even if you don’t include that time in Mr. Sandman, Dream Me a Dream (since that was technically Dream Janine), she did get the chance to wield a Proton Pack in Janine’s Genie.

There’s one other thing I want to comment on for this episode. In the opening scene, we can see the Ghostbusters heading out to what I think was either a library or a bookstore. I couldn’t tell which. But the ghosts they were catching were clearly Captain Ahab, the Frankenstein Monster and one other ghost that was apparently supposed to be Mr. Hyde, though I didn’t get a good enough look at him to properly identify him. I wanna know the story behind this haunting! Are they suggesting these characters were actual people, the way Ebenezer Scrooge was shown as an actual person in X-Mas Marks the Spot? Or were the ghosts haunting that location simply taking up the form of famous literary characters? Because that would have made for an interesting episode. Especially since it could have potentially gotten kids watching the show interested enough to actually read the actual novels, the way the movie Pagemaster was trying to do. (Although, I’ve been told that with the book Moby Dick, every other chapter in that novel takes a break from the actual narrative to discuss the whole history of whaling. I imagine kids might get bored rather quickly if they tried to read that one.)

(Click here for more Ghostbusters reviews)

#the real ghostbusters #rgb episode review #ghostbusters franchise

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chickensarentcheap · 4 years

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Sanctuary -Chapter 55

Warnings: mentions of PTSD, anxiety, SMUT

Tagging: @innerpaperexpertcloud, @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @alievans007, @thunderintheshadows, @valkyrie-of-the-light

“Do you smell that?” his voice is a near whisper, corners of his eyes and the bridge of his nose wrinkled in obvious disgust, leaning sideways in his chair, getting as close as possible as he can get to her without practically sitting on her lap.

It's nine in the morning and they're already at the hospital, the waiting room of the radiology department near standing room only; a mixture of both in and outpatients waiting for x rays and ultrasounds.

Esme looks up from the intake form attached to a clipboard in her lap. “All I smell is hand sanitizer and whatever they use to clean the floors with.”

“Are you sure that's all you smell? That's it?”

She nods. “Why? What do you smell?”

“It smells like death.”

It's the PTSD. She's dealt with many a triggering episode in the past five and a half years. Anything out in public can cause an immediate and extremely negative reaction; as simple as someone slamming a vehicle door too hard or even a car backfiring. Fireworks are a nightmare; the Fourth of July an extremely stressful time for him, made even worse by wanting to do things with -and for- the kids for the holiday. She often wonders how he manages when he's on the job; rifles and handguns being the weapons of choice after all. But he'd once explained that when he was 'the zone', he didn't really hear anything. He'd become so accustomed to the using weapons that he could block the sound completely out.

Hospitals have always been a hit or miss. Some appointments go smooth and without any triggering moments. Where he's completely calm and relaxed and nothing bothers him. Others are a disaster right from the get go. Everything from the lights being too bright, to too many people in scrubs, to the beeping of various monitors. Today is somewhere in between bad and mediocre; a slight panic attack the moment they'd pulled into the underground parking lot, having to take the stairs (alone) because he couldn't stand the thought of being enclosed in an elevator, and now the smell.

She doesn't say anything in response; when he's this agitated, the less talk, the better. Instead she offers a reassuring smile, lays a hand on in back between his shoulders, and then returns to filling out the form in her lap. Sometimes simple touch is enough; that light pressuring helping ease the tension and calm the nerves. Today he's wound extremely tight. Hands clasped tightly together and resting on his stomach, right thigh violently moving back and forth.

“I hate hospitals,” he says, and she can hear the slight panic in his voice. This is huge for him; having to fight his own fears and his own demons while trying to help her. It breaks her heart; that this big, strong, seemingly fearless man has to battle with such a powerful, invisible force. Even when it comes to trying to support his own wife during what should be an exciting, happy time. But there's pride as well; that he's so determined to be by her side and he's handling his own discomfort and suffering so well.

She places the clipboard on the small table beside her, then grabs her bag from it rests on the floor between her feet; rummaging through it until she finds a bottle of prescription meds. Proceeding to twist off the lid, dump three small pills into her palm, and then offer them to her husband. No words are needed. He doesn't need them. And he gives a small smile of appreciation, presses a small kiss to her forehead and then takes the meds from her, placing them under his tongue and waiting for them to dissolve. She hates this for him; the struggle he has with his mind. And she notices the way the young couple sitting across the way keeps watching them. Maybe it's his sheer size; , long and leggy, the broad shoulders and the muscular chest and the powerful arms. Maybe it's even the mixture of the tattoos and the various scars that are in such visible places. But she guesses

it's his behaviour; the shaking of the leg, the eyes that never stop surveying everything and anything around them, his tightly clasped hands. She glares at the pair sitting across from her; that one simple, dark look letting them know that under no circumstances will she hesitate in calling them out on their bullshit. And her hand moves from between his shoulders to the back of his neck; fingernails lightly scraping just under the band of his baseball cap.

It only takes a few seconds to work; the shaking of the leg stopping and his hands slightly relaxing. When they'd first sat down, it had been the repetitive actions of removing his hat, running his hand through his hair, putting his hat back on. Several minutes of the same until she'd had to redirect him by getting him to go into the hall and get her a bottle of water from a vending machine. The OCD tendencies are extremely rare and don't flare up often, but when they do, the only thing that is successful in getting him to stop whatever he's doing is to give him something else to concentrate on. Once that happened, he never went back to the other. Now he's moved on to fidgeting with his wedding ring; repeatedly pulling it up to the knuckle and then pushing it back down, sometimes just rubbing the pad of his thumb against the smooth metal. It's relatively harmless, until he manages to rub the skin underneath completely raw.

“Do you want to take this up for me?” she asks, as she holds out the clipboard.

It gives him something to do; a simple task that will take his mind off whatever thoughts are plaguing him. It's a temporary fix , but it gives him some relief at least. And she watches him as he heads off, noticing the attention he seems to attract everywhere they go. He exudes confidence; sure in his ability to handle any and all situations that come his way. And it's that confidence that draws peoples interest; a man of few words that can express more in his body language and facial expressions than in an entire sentence. And of course, the ladies like him; young and old. What's not to like? The face, the blue eyes, the insane body.

It's only thirty feet, but when he returns he's calmer; whether it's from the redirection of the medication kicking in, or even both. But he's stopped fidgeting and his eyes aren't darting around with the same intensity they were before, and there's no longer sweat linger at his temples or the band of his baseball cap. And he when sits, he just stretches his legs out instead of shaking them, and he drapes an arm across her shoulders, hand resting on her upper arm. A different person, just like that. Which in turn helps her to relax, and she leans into him, head resting back on his shoulder, hand on his thigh.

“I have to pee,” she announces. “So bad.”

“You can't. That's the rules.”

“Screw the rules. I feel like I'm going to explode. It hurts.”

“Well go and let a little bit out,” he suggests.

“Have you ever tried to pee just a little bit? It doesn't work that way. I hope it's not too much longer. Because I don't know how long I can sit here having to go this bad. Do you still smell it? What you were smelling earlier?”

He shakes his head. “It's gone now.”

There was nothing ever there of course, although he doesn't realize that. He associates the normal smells of a hospital with death. Not surprising, considering how close to death he'd actually come and how long he'd had to stay cooped up with various wires and tubes attached to nearly every available spot on his body.

“Remember the first ultrasound we had for the twins?” she asks. “When we found out there was two? You looked like you were going to faint.”

“I went in there expecting one. So when they tell you there's two of everything...”

“You were probably just worried it was two girls.”

“That's not a lie. That is exactly what I thought at first. How the hell am I going to deal with two more girls? I didn't want to be that outnumbered. I was already getting bossed around and there was just you and Millie was still tiny.”

“A tiny dictator,” Esme concludes. “That's because you'd pick her up every time she made even the smallest noise. You wouldn't leave her alone. Now she's five and you're totally wrapped around her little finger. You complain about being a whipped husband? Oh no. She's the one that has you completely whipped.”

“She hasn't gotten me to wear the tiara yet. She hasn't broken me completely.”

“Give it time,” she laughs, and rubs his thigh. “She's only five. There's tons of time left.”

Her cell phone...in the bag once again on the floor between her feet,,,begins to ring and he leans down to grab it for her; helping keep any unnecessary pressure off of her already full and extremely nervous bladder. There's no secrets between them; able to go in and out of each other's belongings without question or permission, and he pulls out her phone and checks the call display. Immediately frowning.

“Your mother.”

Esme groans. “That's the fifth time since we left the house.”

“Want me to text her and tell her to fuck off?”

“Next time answer. That'll scare the shit out of her and she'll probably hang up.”

“Or she'll lose her shit on me. I'm kind of hoping she does. That way I can just snap. You'll let me, right? Snap? Just this once? Normally you don't let me flip my shit on her. And I really want to.”

“It's been five and a half years in the making. She has it coming. How cute you are you?” she reaches up to rub her palm against his cheek, the bristles of his beard tickling her skin. “Wanting to defend my honour.”

“It's her goddamn fault we're even here right now. What is something worse had happened? Not just stitches and a concussion. What if you'd lost the baby because of her bullshit.”

“Tyler, let's not even think about things like that, okay?”

The leg starts to shake again, and she moves her hand over to to it.

“Don't dwell on what didn't happen,” she says. She knows him far too well; how his mind works when the PTSD kicks in. Obsessing over things that either never happened, or he fears will. “Everything is fine and we're just here for a more in depth ultrasound. Not because there's a problem. Hey...” she squeezes his knee. “....calm down just a bit, okay?”

“I hate hospitals.”

“I know. But you're doing fine. You're doing fine and I'm proud of you.”

That finally brings a smile to his face, and he lays his hand over top of hers, gripping it tightly.

“You can go wait in the hall,” she suggests.

“The hall is still the hospital.”

“Just calm down. Just take a breath. You're doing fine, Tyler. I know how hard this is for you. Being here. And I love you for doing this. For going so far out of your comfort zone.”

“I wasn't going to let you come alone. Not like you made the kid on your own. I just...” he sighs heavily. “...I just fucking hate hospitals.”

“It's okay,” she assures him, and tightens her hold on his hand. “You're fine. You're fine and you're doing amazing.”

Even the biggest and toughest need validation and reassurance.

****

The ultrasound had showed no abnormalities; everything developing properly, heart strong and healthy, growth right on track. It's a huge relief; the news putting all of their fears and worries to rest. The doctor's appointment had been slightly disappointing. The IV could come out, but weekly tests would monitor her keytone levels and the IV would be put back on (for much longer this time, maybe even through the rest of the pregnancy). The numbers had been shockingly bad when she'd been brought into the ER and easily could have escalated to kidney damage or failure. She'd been given an order to eat more now that the Zofran was in her system and working; a ten pound weight less at this stage of the game being completely unacceptable, according to the doctor. She needed to hydrate, eat, get proper sleep, and stress less. Sex however, was allowed. Just nothing too vigorous or rough.

“Well there goes all the things we like,” Esme had quipped, getting a laugh from the doctor but a glare from Tyler.

The house is empty when they get back, and they take full advantage of it. Eager and needy hands yanking at -and removing- clothes before the bedroom door even closes behind them. There's a desperation to the way they touch, the way they kiss; hungry and intense, yet possessing a a sense of urgency. He leaves in eight hours for New Zealand, and the realization that this moment together may in fact be their last hangs heavily in the air. His kisses are deep and aggressive, yet his hands are soft as they explore her body; those callouses rough against her skin as they move along it, his weight holding her against the back of the door. Her hands are in his hair; tugging, twisted; his mouth on her neck as his fingers move along the inside of her thigh, slow and deliberate,making her shudder against him. His touch is methodical, as if committing every inch of her body to memory, and she gives a mewl of disappointment when he suddenly removes his hand from behind her legs. Kissing her as he takes her face between his palms, using his size and strength advantage to push her across the room, until the backs of her legs collide with the edge of the bed and she topples backwards with a giggle.

She bites her lip as she watches him peel his t-shirt up and over his head. Even all these years and the extra pounds and muscle later, she is still turned on by the sight of him; the sheer power behind those solid muscles, the tattoos, the scars. All the the things that mix together to make him an incredibly beautiful man. The one who had both made her forget about anyone that ever came before, and ruined anyone that may -for some inexplicable reason- come after him.

“Baby...” she sighs in contentment. “...you are so sexy.”

Tyler just grins in response; big hands reaching for her hips, fingers hooking in the waist band of her simple cotton panties and then yanking them down and over her ass, fingertips gliding along her legs as she pulls them down and then tosses them onto the floor alongside his t-shirt. Her eyes fluttering shut as his mouth and his hands begin their slow ascent of her body, beginning at the side of her left ankle and then travelling upwards, lips and tongue teasing the inside of her leg as his fingertips drift along the back. Moving with such intent and purpose that she can barely stand it; anticipation building to an almost unbearable level. And when he reaches that juncture between her hip and thing, she's once more grabbing at his hair and his shoulders, desperate for more. To feel his mouth where she's hot and wet and ready for him.

He decides not to prolong the torture. Placing a forearm across her stomach and holding her in place; eyes riveted on hers as he drags the tip of his tongue along her slit, then bringing it in direct contact with her clit. Watching as he eyes close once more and her breath hitches; the grip on his hair tightening. He wastes no time; he knows exactly what buttons to push. How to use his mouth and his fingers to quickly bring her to orgasm. Loving the way his name sounds as it explodes from her mouth. And he can feel her entire body violently shuddering as he places a trail of warm kisses all the way up to her lips. Letting her taste her own juices on his lips and tongue. Then he pulls back to look at her; pushing a hand through her hair, eyes searching every inch of her face.

“You are so beautiful,” Tyler breathes. “And I love you. I'll always love you. I want you to know that.”

It's important that she does know. That she hears it in his voice and sees it in his eyes. Just in case he doesn't make it back and he never gets the chance to tell her again. Not wanting to her to left wondering just what and how he'd felt.

“I love you,” tears sparkle in her eyes. “So much. And I've never regretted a single second of the last five and a half years.”

He kisses her; long, slow, tender. Wanting to remember the feel of her mouth against his, the smooth glide of her tongue, the taste of her lips. If this is the last time...if he never does return home...this will be the last memory either of them have of each other. And when his end comes...if it comes...he will have had last this moment. Where no words were left unspoken. Where he showed her how felt. How he would always feel. And her hand comes to rest on the back of his head, pulling him tighter against her, the kiss deepening and becoming more intense as their hands work together to remove the last remaining bits of clothing. His name coming out of her mouth in a breathless moan when his lips travel across her collarbone, one of his hands once more delving between her legs, the palm gently cupping her mound before two fingers push inside of her.

Combined with the way he sucks at the top of her left breast -effectively marking her as his- and how his thumb swipes across her clit, it's too much for her anxious and needy body to take. And she comes a second time; not as powerful as the first, but just as incredible, her entire body arching off the bed as she heaves a long, content sigh. His mouth capturing hers as again as he slides his arm between her and the mattress, effortlessly lifting as he sits back on his heels, his free hand tightly gripping her hip as he positions her in his lap, slowly lowering her down onto his cock. She cries out at the sensation; the feeling familiar, but amazing all at the same time. No man had ever filled her in the way that he does; no one else ever able to make her feel the ways that he can. He'd long ago memorized each and every inch of her; finding all those secret, magical spots that drive her crazy, learning just how and where she likes his hands and his mouth. Both hands on her hips now as they gently guide each movement, matching each thrust he makes, his lips and his tongue teasing her breasts; taking those hard nipples into his mouth, alternating between gentle and aggressive suckling. Her hands exploring the hard, powerful muscles that make up his shoulders and back before once more pushing in his hair and aggressively yanking his head up towards her; kissing him with a ferocity and intensity that she'd never displayed before.

“Tyler...” his name comes out as a choked sob, her forehead falling against his. “...make me come....please...make me come...”

He slips a hand between them, once more finding that hard, slick nub; pressing his thumb against it and then rubbing in slow, smooth circles until she's coming apart for a third time. The scream muffled against his shoulder; her teeth digging into the skin; hard enough to break the surface and draw blood. And he once again places her on her back, still on his knees, fingers biting into her hips as he pulls her into him; filling her with several long, strong thrusts until he's coming as well. Body rigid, a low moan rumbling deep within his chest as he empties himself inside of her. Waiting until he feels that last drop leaving him before dropping his forehead towards her, placing warm, moist kisses on her quivering stomach before travelling up to her mouth. Their breathing harsh and ragged as he kisses her; slow and soft. Her hand on the side of his face when he pulls back to look at her, hating the sight of those huge, hot tears that spill down her cheeks.

****

Afterwards he lays on his side; her back tucked into his front, a hand resting on her stomach, one leg thrown over hers, eyes closed and his face buried in her hair. Relaxed by both their lovemaking and the way her fingernails repeatedly glide over his forearm.

“Tyler?” her voice is quiet, sullen. The tears have stopped for now, but they are never far away.

He presses a kiss to the back of her head. “Yeah?”

“The selfish side of me doesn't want you to leave. It wants you to just stay here. Where you're safe. It doesn't want you to go.”

“That's not selfish, baby.” he assures her.

“But the logical side of me knows you have to go. I mean, they're kids. What kind of person would I be if I told you stay? To just let someone else worry about them? I'd want someone to find my kids.”

“Esme, it doesn't make you a bad person because you don't want me doing the job. You're just worried. I think you'd be a horrible person if you weren't worried.”

“I'm scared,” she admits. “I'm scared you're not going to come back. And I need you to come back. I can't do this by myself. Four kids. Five, soon. That's not what I signed up for. We were supposed to do this together. I'm not supposed to be doing this alone. I don't want to this alone.”

“You will if you have to. You won't have a choice.”

“I'm not strong enough for that. You have all this faith in me. You think I'm so strong and I'm not. I'm far from strong.”

He places a kiss on her shoulder. “You're the strong person I know. And you'd be okay. I know you would. That's the one thing that almost makes it okay. That if I die, I know you and the kids will be alright.”

“”I can't do this alone. I can't. I know you want to think I can. I know you want to think I'd be okay. But I'd be far from okay if something happened to you. Five and a years is nowhere near enough.”

“We always knew this could happen. If I stayed with the job. There was always that risk. That I'd leave and I wouldn't come back.”

“But you always did come back. And now it just seems like you've just accepted that you won't. And you don't know that. You don't know what's going to happen. And you're talking like you do.”

“I'm not saying it will happen. But out of all the jobs I've ever gone on, this is probably the riskiest one yet. You even said so yourself; these people are far more dangerous than anything I've come up against. You know way more about them than I do. You've heard the stories. And I've got to go in there and get two kids out. Not just one. Two.”

“You said someone would be with you. That weren't going to go in there alone. Tell me you're not going in there by yourself.”

“I'll have someone with me.”

“Like with you, with you, or waiting somewhere for you? Because that's two entirely different things. You need to take someone in with you. Not have someone waiting outside for you. Be right inside with you. Tell me that's what you're going to do. Tyler...” she rolls over to face him. “...tell me you're not going in there by yourself.”

He gives a small, tight lipped smile.

“Are you serious right now? You said someone will be with you. And that means right beside you. Don't pull this shit with me. Not when there's only eight hours before you leave. Don't do this.”

“He's going in with me but he's not going to be right beside me. He's not going to be right on my shoulder. He'll be waiting somewhere so I can hand one of the kids off to him.”

“That's not good enough. That's nowhere near good enough.”

“Esme, I can't have someone up my ass while I'm trying to extract people. I just can't. I need to be able to go in there, do my thing, and that's that. It won't do any good if he's right there. That's only going to hinder me. I'll be worried about him fucking up and feeling like I have to babysit him.”

“I don't give a shit. I don't want you going in there alone. Not when you have two people to get out. That's too dangerous and you know it.”

“I've done hundreds of extractions,” he reminds her. “Hundreds. I know what I'm doing.”

“How many of them had two people involved?”

“None. But...”

“Then why would you even take the chance? Why would you even risk it? You need someone going in there with you.”

“What I need is for you to calm down. You heard what the doctor said. Stay calm, don't stress...”

“Easy for him to say when he's not married to you,” she huffs. “You're kind of stressful sometimes.”

“I am? See all this gray hair coming in? That's all from you. It all has your name on it. I think I aged ten years just on the car ride to the airport,” he pushes his hand through her hair. He'd dyed it earlier; returning it back to his normal chestnut colour, some of the colouring still lingering on his hands thanks to the supplied gloves being way too small. He likes it better this way; it's familiar, it's comforting. It's home. “It'll be okay. He won't be right beside me, but he'll be there. That's what matters.”

“What matters is you coming back alive. Not in a body bag.”

He presses his lips to her forehead. “Baby, I wouldn't leave you unless I had to. Unless I had no other choice. You know that, right? That the only reason I wouldn't come back is because I am dead?”

She nods.

“I'm going to do whatever I have to to get home. I promise you. Even if it means I have to leave those kids behind. If it comes down to it...if I have to make a choice...I'm choosing myself over them. No matter how selfish that sounds.”

“It's not selfish. It's smart. It's survival. But I hope you don't have to make that choice. Because I know that will be on your mind for the rest of your life and you'll constantly question whether you did the right thing. And I don't want that for you.”

“I know you don't,” he presses a chaste kiss to her lips.

“You're a good person, Tyler. Whether you see that in yourself or not. I see it. I know who you really are. When you're away from the job. I know the things that are in your mind and in your heart, and those are beautiful places. I know you see yourself as a terrible person. But if you could just...for once...see yourself the way I see you. How I see you when you're with your kids. How much you love them. How'd you do anything for them. And how much they adore you. You're a big man with an even bigger heart. And you'll never convince me otherwise.”

He grins, “Not even in the forty, forty five years we still have left?”

“Not even then. I'm not ready to let you go. It hasn't been nearly long enough. No matter how many times I complain that you drive me absolutely batshit insane.”

He gives a small laugh.

“But I'd rather you be here to drive me batshit insane than to not be here.

“I'm not going anywhere. Unless I don't have a choice.”

“I really do not want you to go.”

“I know.”

“But I know you have to. And I'm not going to stop you. Even if part of you wishes I would.”

Tyler smirks. “You really do know me well.”

“What? You think I've been asleep for the last five and a half years? I've been paying attention. I know what you're like and what goes through that head of yours. And you're probably the same way when it comes to me. There's things you know I'm going to say before I even say them. Or things you know I'm thinking. How many times have we finished each other's sentences? Or given each other the same look when someone has said or done something stupid?”

“A lot,” he says. “A lot of times.”

“Remember what Gaspar said? About how two broken people can't make a whole? That they can't heal each other, they can only make an even bigger mess of things?”

He nods.

“I think we proved him wrong. We're not perfect. Not by a long shot. But we're not the same people we were back then. Not even close to it. So we did heal each other. And maybe we've got a lot of scars left behind, but we look what we've managed to do together. We have a life. A normal life. We have four kids and this little peanut...” she smiles as she lays a hand on her stomach. “...did you really think five and a half years ago that any of this would be possible? If someone had have told you before you left for Dhaka, what would happen in the end, would you have believed them?”

“I would have told them they were fucking crazy.”

“Right? I would have said the same thing. I've someone had told me before I walked into that shack of yours that less than six months later you'd be my husband, I would have laughed at them.”

“Why?” he grins, and laying a hand on the small of her back, pulls her tight against him. “Was I that hideous?”

“As if you could ever be hideous. And that wasn't a slight on you. It was just how weird my life was at the time. I was so caught up in the job and travelling from place to place and never forming bonds with anyone. So if someone had said 'hey, that's your future husband and you're going to end up with four kids'...”

“Five,” he corrects. “Well, four and a bit right now.”

“...I would have thought it was the most ridiculous I ever heard. That wasn't what I had planned for my life. A husband, children. I thought that all went out in the window with Mark. I thought for sure I'd be single forever. That I'd never trust anyone again. That anyone would ever love me.”

“That was him putting shit in your head. All that bullshit he told you.”

“But then you came along and everything changed. Less than a week and half later, I was giving up everything for you. For some random Australian who lived in a shack with a chicken as a roommate. And it felt so right and so perfect. I never sacrificed anything for you. I just gave up one life for a better one.”

“This is better? Living like this? Having to put up with my bullshit and the job? How is that better?”

“Because you love me. No matter how big of a bitch I can be or how much I nag you. Because you helped me make four beautiful children. Because of this little peanut...” she pats her stomach. “...Tyler, I don't regret meeting you. Or that things happened the way they did. Or that they happened so quick after that. And I definitely don't regret that day on the Sultana Kamal bridge. And I'd do it all again if I had to. In a heartbeat.”

The honesty in her words...in her eyes...brings tears to his own. They've had a lot of heart to hearts over the things; sharing their deepest and darkest secrets, their most painful memories, their fears and worries. But they've never had this. Where the the emotions are just laid so bare. “I wouldn't change a thing,” he says. “Well maybe the choking you out part. I probably went a little overboard with that.

“Are you kidding? I know you were pissed, but that was insanely hot.”

He can't help but laugh at that, and he presses a kiss to her brow and lays his forehead against her. “I don't regret it either. How things happened. In Dhaka. In that hotel room. Maybe it wasn't right, but it felt right. And I don't regret how quick things happened after that. Millie, getting married, all of that. Only thing I regret is what happened on that bridge. That you had to see the things you did. If I could change anything, that would be it. I'd change it so we just got the fuck out of there.”

“But wouldn't it change other things? I mean, if things truly are meant to happen, wouldn't changing one thing change everything else? Millie would still be there. We made her during those first five days. So she was going to be on this earth regardless. But would the twins and Declan be here? If we changed the ending and took a different path, would they ever have been here?”

“That's pretty deep, babe.”

“Say you could back and change the ending of Dhaka, but you knew it would mean that the boys would never exist. Would you do it? If we just walked away that day and you almost didn't die, but it meant we never had them. Would you still want to change it?”

“No,” Tyler admits. “Not in a million years. I wouldn't give my sons up for anything. Any of my kids. I don't care what I had to go through. I'd go through it all again if it meant they'd be here.”

“Good answer,” she says, and he can feel her smile against his throat. “But there is one thing I would change.”

“Yeah? What?”

“The sewer. If I could go back in time, I would never let you talk me into that bullshit.”

“I didn't really talk you into anything, I basically told you to get your ass in it. There was no negotiating. It was get in there or get shot. You want to get shot? Because that's how you get shot.”

“Okay, so we'd have to change the Goonies from hell part too.”

“You just said we can't change anything. That if we change one thing, it changes everything. You're not playing by the same rules, here. If we get rid of the Goonies from hell part, that gets rid of the sewer part because we would have made it safe and sound to the bridge that night. So the next day never would have happened. See where I'm going with this?”

“Damn it! You aren't just a pretty face. You're right.”

“That's twice in two days. That you admitted I was right about something. That hasn't happened once in five and a half years and now it happens twice in two days?”

“Don't get too excited. It won't happen again. You had a good run, though.”

“For what it's worth,” he rests his chin on top of her head. “ I'm sorry I made you get into the sewer.”

“You should be. That smell is never going to leave my sinuses. And for what it's worth on my end, I'm sorry I told you you were like a bear with a sore asshole that first day in Dhaka. But you were exceptionally grumpy and mean and it was driving me insane.”

“I was only mean because you couldn't listen to simple fucking instructions before we went out in public.”

“Well I didn't like your instructions and you weren't the boss of me, so...”

“I was the boss then and I'm the boss now.”

“Yeah right! Baby, I just let you think you're the boss. I don't ever actually listen to anything you say. I just nod and agree and then I do my own thing anyway. It's how we ended up with a purple and yellow guest bathroom even though you distinctly said no. And I even talked you into painting it. So who's the boss around here?”

He frowns. “You're sneaky.”

“Don't underestimate my abilities. I have ways of making you do things. You just don't realize I'm using the powers against you. Why do you think I put out so much? Because it makes you happy and agreeable and you're more willing to agree with whatever I say and whatever I want.”

“So that's how it works.

“That's exactly how it works. See? You're five and a half years in and you had no idea you weren't really the boss.”

“There are some areas where I'm still the boss. I don't give a shit what you say.”

“Yeah...like what? Name one.”

“I can show you one if you want,” he offers, as he slips a hand between them, finding the warm place between her legs, wasting no time in slipping a finger inside of her.

She squirms. “Just the one?”

“I can make it two,” he adds a second finger, chuckling when she clamps her thighs around his hand.

“I think you should make love to me again,” she suggests.

“Yeah...” he smirks. “I think you're right.”

#tyler rake #tyler rake fan fiction #tyler rake fan fic #extraction #chris hemsworth character #sanctuary

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seaspaces27 · 5 years

Text

bfb and mechanical minds

in bfb, objects come in many different forms and shapes. today, we will be looking at a specific set of objects: tv, robot flower, remote, and roboty.

what these specific objects have in common is that they're mechanical minds, but it doesnt just stop there.

when i hear the phrase “mechanical minds”, connotations like technology, robotics, and ai, start to come up. the last one in particular interests me. are the mechanical minds some form of advanced artificial intelligence?

This is what golfball had to say about mechanical minds when choosing her team members in bfb1. what shes implying here is that mechanical minds are smarter than non-mechanical objects, but is this true? and if so, how exactly?

well, to answer all these questions, we first need to know what makes a mechanical mind a mechanical mind

1. structure the structure of a mechanical mind relates to machinery, whether this be as an electronic appliance or as robotic materials(e.g. metal, led lights, etc). in some cases, this can be beneficial, as roboty was able to survive being hit by a jawbreaker

2. compute mechanical minds are shown to be able to make computations

theyre able to take input data (”turn purple!”), process them(set screen to purple), and give off an output (display purple). this is a trait that is common in computers. with this ability, they can also make calculations

in bfb6, tv was able to calculate and display the votes of who was to be eliminated in the team beep. what he did here is a task that i think would be very difficult for non-mechanically minded objects (as well as humans) to achieve. the fact that he computed (or at the very least, estimated) the votes to such exact values, plus his history of calculating votes in bfdia, shows that he must have been using an algorithm or some sophisticated neural network that he’s perfected with time.

3. connect to the internet..? remember abntt in bfb7? as they were stuck on the moon, they weren't able to directly compete in the competition, so they did it indirectly, by controlling remote through robot flower.

ethics aside, this shows us that mechanical minds are capable of sending data to other mechanical minds

you can kind of imagine it as an internet connection between networks. below is a visualisation i made of how such a topology would look like:

tennis and basket ball send inputs to robot flower, who converts it to signals that the ship can send across to remote via the place robot flower(from now on, i’ll just refer to it as the internet) went to.

on a side note: perhaps the internet seems to be quite unknown to the mechanical minds? judging by how robot flower seems to be a bit confused upon entering the place.

this however, may not apply to remote. she defended herself by trying to send a bomb over to her hackers, which, quickly took a turn once rf closed the connection. at first this might seem like no big deal, but the fact that shes even able to send a bomb (and in a short amount of time, too) over shows that she has some knowledge/experience of the internet, and more possibly, herself, and how she works.

on one other side note about the internet. in the episode, you can see white star grid-like points moving in constant directions, moving pass a central area. could that be travelling data unrelated to robot flower and remote? and if so, would it mean the bfb universe isn't as quiet as we expect it to be?

4. sentience mechanical minds are, without a doubt, sentient. they can make sense of the world from their unique point of view, and experience the world

from the perspective of a designer or automator, this would be good, as the mechanicals dont have to act on simple if statements, but instead, make their own logical choices(whether by neural networks or whatever). however, with the ability to make decisions and experience things, comes the ability to feel emotions, and these emotions can have an effect on decision making, which can cause mechanical minds to make irrational decisions.

for example, the situations remote and robot flower went through in the screenshot above. i spoke about this last post with remote, where she had a choice of going against her teams morals by killing, or lose the challenge and have her body hacked. robot flower was also in a difficult dilemma, where she had to choose between killing everyone on the moon, or going against gb’s earlier instruction by closing the connection (may i add that its a bit ironic how remotes the one who sends a bomb instead of following her teams passive morals while rf valued the safety of her friends over the challenge).

in both instances, these two minds have demonstrated that they are not only capable of feeling emotions like fear and pressure, but that theyre also able to think for themselves. they can deviate from their original instructions and make a choice based on their own individual experience.

sentience is not a feature that differentiates mechanicals from non mechanicals. they can have this regardless, however, for such a thing to be possible in mechanical minds means that theyre a very very advanced form of machinery. if you hooked these machine minds up to a turing test, they'd pass it with ease

the answer now, to actually answer the question. are mechanical minds smarter?

well, in terms of computation, being able to calculate things faster than anyone else can come in handy.

in terms of internet access, it can be seen as a huge advantage. what abntt did in bfb7 may have failed, but it was really smart and creative. im surprised they havent used this technique more

there isnt much to say about structure, except that it helps make the mechanical minds capable of computation and internet access

in terms of sentience, thats where im not so sure. on one hand, you can make your own logical choices and do what you think is best, but on the other hand, your emotions can make you do irrational things? so i guess it cancels out..

overview but in general, i think there arent that many perks to being mechanical. the closer mechanical minds come to emulating non-mechanic behaviour, the less of a difference there is between the two.

however, despite this seeming non-difference, we still get objects forming dichotomies and opinions about them.

#battle for dream island #bfb #bfdia #bfdi #battle for bfdi #mechanical minds

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drjackandmissjo · 4 years

Text

Roses are Red, Tattoos are Forever

Chapter 3 --- previous chapter

Feysand masterlist

The Sherlock Conundrum

Florist and tattoo artist Au, Modern Day

“Can you please stop with this madness? Hugh Laurie is clearly the best Sherlock ever!”

They were both sitting on the couch of his living room. Really close to each other. She had her left knee under her body and was fully facing him. He had been throwing glances at her way the whole time she’s been there, and now was admiring her everything as they bantered lovingly.

After a particularly rough client, that had taken her nearly seven hours to finish, she came into his shop claiming: “We’re both closing earlier, I need to rest and so do you.”

At his attempt to tell her off, cause “I don’t need to rest I am in pristine fit every second of every minute”, she simply replied with an elongated ‘Please’ and a pair of puppy dog eyes that would’ve put a Labrador to shame.

Useless to say, they ended up on his couch half an hour later, a marathon of the fourth season of House M.D. on the television and chips and popcorn all around.

Feyre is harder than she looks, tougher. She likes to drink whiskey and burning liquor and beer.

Rhys, on the other hand, is a refined rosé man. He drinks fruity drinks and cocktails and vodka. He tried the same stuff that she drinks, once, when they went out with the rest of the inner circle after Az had received a promotion. It didn’t end well.

Feyre and Cassian will forever tease him about it.

Since their taste in alcohol was on such a wide spectrum, they decided to settle for some sparkly Coca-Cola for that fine night.

About halfway through episode six, the debate had begun. The show was soon forgotten and left as a white noise machine that lulled them into their silliness.

“Feyre Darling. You are being delusional. Dr House’s got nothing on RDJ’s Sherlock. Just cause the character was inspired by Conan Doyle’s work it doesn’t mean it can be considered a Sherlock.”

She laughed. A delicious sound that was filling his days more and more each morning. “Do you know that Conan Doyle based Shelly on a doctor, right? Also, yeah Jude Law’s better than Wilson, that is true.”

“Can we just agree that Cumberbatch and Freeman are equally amazing.”

“Yeah, duh! But, controversial opinion: I don’t actually ship Jonhlock romantically.”

“More like platonic soul-mates? Makes complete sense. They are not interested in each other at all. You are right, Fey-ruh Acheron.”

‘HOW DARE SHE...’, he thought severely displeased.

“Oh please don’t be pissed at me. I like them together and everything, but in my mind, Sherlock is pretty much ace-aro. I mean, Cumberbatch was also Smaug. Which in the books is described as a dragon while the movies decided to portray him like a vixen...” He solemnly nodded.

That is, indeed, a severe problem in mainstream media.

“That is, indeed, a severe problem in today mainstream media. We live in a world where people don’t know the difference between one another! Daenerys Mother of Dragons? More like Dany The Soccer Mom of three cool lizards. That would be more appropriate!”

“Don’t talk to me about Dany, I’m still pissed about Jonerys. I mean, fan-service much? Okay, I can deal with that. But don’t freaking kill Viserion and try to make us all believe that HIS MOTHER WOULD FUCK HER NEPHEW THIRTY MINUTES LATER!”

She laughed again.

‘Gods above and below,’ he thought, ‘how much can a person love another?’

“Agree 100% on Viserion, though Jon after Ygrit should’ve just zipped up his pants and close business. You experience that kind of love once in your screentime. And when you do, Martin kills the counterpart off immediately after the big scene. You know that sadist is gonna kill you off, so just spare him the dirty deeds to write.”

“The dirty deeds are the reasons he is taking so much to finish that freaking book. Also, salty much?"

"You dare calling me salty? It’s been years and you still weep over Robb’s body.”

“Excuse you, it is a very fine body. Have you seen Richard Madden lately? With that kilt at Kit and Rose’s wedding? Fine AF.”

She was now scooting over, moving closer to his face to find a reaction.

“Fine, you’re right. But Darling, you know damn well I am attracted to that man, you can’t just casually throw his name around! That would be like me, saying that Misha has aged like a fine whisky.”

“And where would a lie hide in that sentence?”

“ANYWAY. We were talking of something terrifically important.”

He decided to add a Meaningful Pause to give himself some dramatic effect...

“How can you say you don’t ship Jonhlock romantically?”

‘Honesly I love that woman. She is my other half, I would die for her and with her. My life without her has no meaning.

But if her answer doesn’t please me then so help me God I will suffer through a meaningless life with the strength of my ships.’ His mind said.

“I told you before the 'The Hobbit/Game of Thrones' parenthesis. When I read the books I thought of Sherlock as a madman who cared about Watson profoundly, but mostly cares about himself and his work. Someone who doesn’t dwell into feelings, doesn’t really enjoy sexual times and, truly, a modern-day asexual and aromantic asshole with a kink for unofficial police work. Yes, He and Watson are amazing together, and especially with RDJ and Jude Law I saw the sexual tension, which then I also saw in the BBC’s version. But for me, since I read the books first, Jonhlock will always be the exact relationship shown by House and Wilson. Sorry to disappoint.”

She was so close to him, he could smell her shampoo and count the freckles across her nose. She was staring directly into his soul. Rhys was fully clothed in an old tee and some pants and yet he’d never felt more naked.

“You never disappoint me. As a matter of fact, you never cess to amaze me, Feyre Acheron. You are perfect and beautiful both on the inside as well as on the outside. Here I was, looking for a polite way to kick you out of my apartment after you say you don’t ship one of my OTPs and now, here still I am trying not to be drowned into you and trying not to get lost into your eyes and I love you so fucking much that it physically hurts.”

His inner monologue at the time? ‘Fuck. FUCK. What the fuck did I just say???’

She had managed to fry his whole brain with her smart reasoning and perfect voice and now he had ruined a perfect moment by saying cheesy stuff to a girl that didn’t particularly care for cheese.

That was the end of Rhysand Sphera as we all know and love him.

Cause of death: killed by Feyre Acheron as result of saying something completely idiotic.

Only...

“Do you really mean that?”

She sounded hopeful and scared at the same time. The horrors she had to face in the past came running back to her and were written all over her face. Rhys took her hands in his. They were both trembling.

His mouth had probably never been that dry and yet aching to speak at the same time. He could only nod and pray she reciprocated.

That was the moment of truth.

“Of course I mean it. All of it. Each unsaid sentence and each shared glances. Every time I bring you coffee or a send you a picture of a dog that walks into my shop with its owner even though I’m terrified of them. The dog, not the owner. Even though some owners of dogs are terrifying. I have been in love with you for so long, I forgot how it feels not loving you. I look back at those times when you were not in my life and even back then I knew I was missing something. And when he-who-must-not-be-named showed up and swept you off your feet away from me, I was broken beyond repair. But you came back and made me hope that maybe, maybe all my dreams could become true. But you were hurt and also broken, and you needed time to heal. You still do. I shouldn’t have said anything, but you’re just so fucking amazing that I struggle to not scream ‘I Love You’ every time you breathe. I am utterly in love with you and hopelessly devoted to you. I understand if you still need time to heal or would rather be with someone else. But I said it, and I do not intend on taking it back.”

She was kneeling on the couch, her hands still clutching his, tears streaming down her face.

“Don’t take it back.”

Rhys thought he had heard what he wanted, so he had to ask, “What?”, a dumbstruck disbelieving-his-luck expression plastered on his face.

“I said don’t take it back. I feel the same way. I am utterly in love with you and hopelessly devoted to you too. I thought you hated me after, well, Tamlin. It is pleasant knowing we reciprocate each other’s feelings.”

Feyre laughed again, breaking the spell between them. Only, now the deed was done. Neither of them could hold their emotions in any longer. Feyre leaned in and so did Rhys, and their lips met halfway in a once in a lifetime, epic romance, Full on Princess Bride type of kiss.

After they both ran out of breath, they simply remained connected in every way possible given their awkward position. Foreheads never leaving each other, hands clasped together, lips barely touching. That spell, though, didn’t last for long. Soon they yearned to touch each other’s skin and feel each other’s bodies.

They were never going to have enough of each other.

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bionicdragonguardian1 · 4 years

Text

Voltron Rewritten Defender (1/8)

Also known as My Almost Raging Bitch List for this Goddamn Disastrous Disappointment of a Show

I binged all 8 seasons in under a week, so believe me when I say almost nothing was forgotten between seasons/episodes and I do tend to note that.

If it’s not obvious by the title, I’m planning an entire show AU. I am extremely open to people’s opinions on what I’m currently thinking and when I finally post this I’ll be open to criticism there too. If you would like to avoid seeing anything in regards to this feel free to blacklist #voltron_rewritten_defender because that’s what I’ll be using for this whole thing.

Enjoy, I guess.

Fair warning I am a multishipper, but for this show I leaned towards Klance, so if that bothers you that’s okay, I’m not going to be bashing any other ships (mainly just Dreamworks’ forced Allurance). If you think I missed something for any other ship lemme know! If you wanna have a ship discussion that’s cool too. The only other thing I can think of is that Allura’s attitude in S8 really stuck with me to the point that she bothered me throughout the entire rewatch (I was admittedly one of the people who thought she could be very Mary Sue ish when I first watched this) so that’ll show up now and again.

If you want to look at the Google Doc for the whole show, click the link, if not you can expand this post to see Season 1. I’ll be doing these in chunks, but as some of you know I do a FicRecList on one of my other accounts here @sorcerusdragonbionics so I’m gonna be alternating between that and these for the next couple days.

If you do the Google Route it’ll have you ask me for permission, this is normal and if you request it I’ll give you commenting abilities.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1t30IRJonrBFh0qvs8recf3ayGoQ0rx02y0Tg1e4NTaI/edit?usp=sharing

Key

Things I kinda wanna bitch about

Things I did genuinely enjoy and like

Rewatch Thoughts (basically what I remember from further forward and how I feel like it reflects back on earlier seasons)

Ship Talk (behold my multishipping insanity)

Things I think I’ll do in the Rewrite

Writing Notes (mainly for me or as explanation for what I’m planning)

VA and Closed Captioning Things

Other Fic Thoughts

This ended up being music commentary in S8

Season One

Problems with the Season overall:

To be honest if I hated this season I wouldn’t’ve kept watching because by the time I started S3 had just dropped

Episode 1

Here’s the deal, WHY ARE YOU SO LONG BUT SO EMPTY?!?

Yeah, nope, that’s mostly it

Fix the problem of telling instead of showing about the other Lions and remove Allura’s explanation of the Lions if possible (thank you Kross for explaining why it felt so empty- this vid is actually where I started getting the idea to actually go through with a full series AU)

DON'T RUSH THE LION INTROS

Also let the 5 introduce themselves to Allura and Coran

Also Character Drive to Complete Mission Should Be A Thing

Flesh out Paladin Personalities so that the Aris Arrival is End of Part One (making it closer to the length of E1)

Flesh out Lion intros so part 2+3 are more like full Eps without Sendak

Episode 2

75 degrees… that’s definitely in Fahrenheit, which why?

How does no one have a watch with a date on them?

“A man can be driven to do anything if a beautiful woman is just really really mean to him”

More inbetween scenes bc I can

I will accept the transformation sequence here, I’m just not going to write it

Episode 3

Please watch the use of Earth Time Slices please, because it’s confusing

I love the portrayal of PTSD in this show and I would die before I change it

Bye bye transformation sequence

Pidge’s talk with Shiro can please change

Episode 4

“I say Vol, you say Tron” will come up again if it kills me

Lance, how do you know what hotdog water and feet taste like?

I love how Coran is completely nonchalant about the fact that he’s drinking a hair tonic

Shiro, don’t bring down the mood

Goddammit Sendak, you could stay for this arc, but god I want you GONE!

Keith, having an emotion? Really?

The Pidge plot DID NOT NEED TO HAPPEN LIKE THAT!

Fight me I will change it

Or minimally change the fact that their selfish motivations are revealed to BAD and should be changed

Oh yeah, let’s not give the ONE GUY with notable homesickness a character arc around that

That moment when you realize Allura is like ‘wtf is a peanut’

Allura, don’t push it, some people don’t want to talk about it

You will have something to talk about, BIOLOGY

Decryption happens here, and next attempt to find family occurs… when?

Poor Coran, if there is anyone who was more forgotten than Lance it was him

Keith isn’t wrong, but he also doesn’t know how to say it without getting mad, which mood

Just pointing out Lance is not only smart, but selfless, tell me how he’s not the main character

My inner Shance/Klance shipper is sobbing

“Bomb fuel” mentioned here, occurs… actually it’s ok

Timelines need to be a thing!

Can I make the fight scenes more intense? Yes, I write them for my YJ Scripts. Will I? Almost definitely.

Keith with that much fire your mask should be closed because smoke inhalation is bad

Can we explain Vrepit Sa before s6?

It feels like Coran forgets that 10k years have passed under an evil empire and part of me likes it, but it hurts me

Episode 5

The Katie flashback is hurts me

I want to add Gender Identity

Can we talk about how Shiro is a nickname for Takashi Shirogane?

That’s not how an EMP works

The Coran sitting on Hunk’s shoulders with a machine gun is everything

I know the back x-ray was a joke, but I still don’t like it

Rax is an idiot, just saying

Bonding Moment!!!

Episode 6

“Intergalactic time measuring competition.”

“We had a bonding moment!”

Where is Sendak’s arm?

Fight me, Pidge’s ‘gender speech’

It will be a gender speech if it kills me

Lance, why are you acting the way you are?

“I figured” and “We were supposed to think you were a boy” ARE NOT PROPER REACTIONS!

Rolo, sometimes I want to punch you in the teeth

Lance’s boner is going to get someone killed

Lance had 4sec of logic and then Nyma brings up Keith, which ofc does him in

Let’s expand on the Komar, yeah?

Quiznack means fuck and NO ONE can tell me otherwise

Keith’s ability to fly is impressive and it’s awesome

Friendly reminder that Lance acknowledged the bonding moment

Episode 7

I LOVE the laser gun sound effects!!!

I just realized that Allura has no clue what an Acronym is

We… literally just talked about this and YOU didn’t know that Shiro, I understand the point, but seriously?

LIONS are TELEPATHIC Shiro DID NOT need to say that aloud!

I do actually like the fact that Kieth gets excited before realizing what he did

FIRE and ICE PEOPLE come on! What the hell?! You barely had to try

“Yes sir?” Keith to Shiro, what?

I love them and their cute little arguments

Left vs Right, thank you Zamber

We be lovin’ Hunay bc it’s pure as hell

Thank you Shiro for validating Hunk’s concerns

You could check a little faster, Allura

I LIVE for this scene

Was it actually Rolo?

Do they have teleporters?

Keith being weird is my favorite thing

I love good big bros who argue tradition to save their baby sis

Zarkon is a bit of a moron

THEIR LIVES ARE IN DANGER ALLURA!

They all came through different doors… how?

What if the answer was no?

I’m ok with Lance embarrassing himself when he’s cocky, some people seem to forget that

Bye transformation sequence, I explained you ONCE and that’s it

Prorock… why are you familiar?

Episode 8

I admittedly forgot that they didn’t know these things would be different

Flying fight scenes I can do, teleporting not so much

Poor Shiro he thought he had an idea and he was wrong

I love Coran’s reaction

Also NO SHIT Allura

UHHHH Pidge said that not and of the other three so how did He know?

Allura may piss me off, but I do love this speech

“Your Altean Energy”??? Coran, you’re an Altean, I’m confused.

The “Sacred Altean” thing I get, but you must be more specific cuz it makes Coran sound like he thinks he’s not a proper Altean.

Oof, angsty

Also, I know we can’t kill Allura yet, but...

I love that Hunk forgot they hadn’t formed Voltron

Bye bye transformation sequence

Ummm, they NEED to explain the Bayard Equip bc that’s… two very different things that occurred between Hunk and Keith’s Bayard Weapons

Why is this a scene? It’s not a dog. So, yeah, I’m with Keith here

Episode 9

THIS IS NOT HEALTHY ALLURA!

I just realized that this doesn’t come back until S..7? 8? Whatever, WAY too long

I can’t unhear “Training Dick”

Did they have homework on Altea?

Be still my Punk shipper heart

WHY is he SO pretty?!

Y’know, the glowing red eye is usually a bad sign

I could SO mean and hurt Keith here

That moment when you’re like 90% sure Shiro heard that somewhere

Not what haunted means Coran, but accurate

Why could Lance see Alfor for a second?

I too would like the answer to “where was the Red Lion?”

PTSD IS AMAZINGLY WRITTEN!

It’s a shame this is NEVER treated properly again

Thank you for NOT making the swimming thing a thing

You didn’t need to TRY Voltron, what the hell?!

Here’s the deal, Altea not being Obliterated-obliterated is actually a really interesting idea

Lance still wins, for the record

If she was infected in any way this wouldn’t drive me crazier than a bot on Halloween

But she’s not so this is BULL

Shallura confuses me SO much…

Ok, admittedly the scene with Allura and Alfor is beautifully heartbreaking

Episode 10

The fact that Zarkon was a close friend to Alfor should be addressed

Also Shiro calling himself “an inexperienced Pilot” hurts

Allura’s a MORON!

YES! MASSIVE ISSUE WITH YOU COMING

Nice puppetry Hunk

What happened to THIS Allura?! She’s reckless but not INSANE (or so boring I might cry)!

Is this the same Druid from Season 8? Pretty sure it’s 8… I forget which, but the one Keith fought

“Don’t walk through that door!” / Keith does/ “I think I told him” // “You are a paragon of leadership, Lance”

Hehheh I love Hunk teasing Lance about Allura

I do actually the fact that I can’t tell what size the purple container is until Keith grabs it

Heheh the Allura interacting with the Galra soldier

The computer sounds like Lance

Also Shiro had that “holy shit” moment

I HATE WRITING TELELPORTING FIGHTS

I’m 99% sure that the ONLY reason I didn’t fall into the Galra Keith rabbit hole was the fact that I binge watched

This scene confuses me… so much now that I know Shallura was apparently never going to be a thing

So confused

Episode 11

That hair flip though...

Coran, I get it, but calm down

Okay, but Keith has a point. Seriously, he’s not wrong.

For the record, Haggar scares me

So much makes so much more sense now that we know Zarkon is the Original Black Paladin

That… makes no sense… “enough essence to open a wormhole”

Why are you transforming? More pieces to shoot at is usually a smart idea…

Hey hey, THACE!

Why can’t you have two active at once? I’m honestly serious.

I mean too OP, got it, but you can maneuver around that for temporary stuff

Shiro, use your words, yeah?

“Thinking” uh huh you mean “telepathy” right?

I genuinely forgot that Shiro got booted from Black

Damn! Yes Shiro! Kick some ass!

Ok, here’s the deal, Keith’s not listening to Coran, but he doesn’t have all the info (LIKE THE FUCKING BAYARD), Zarkon’s the OG Paladin, and he’s in distress

I HATE TELEPORTERS!

“Could have been” … uh Kuron exists ??

Also, Shiro with yellow eyes is fucking terrifying

We ain’t ficking stupid VLD

Zarkon’s a fucking idiot

Written properly his power-hungry attitude works even with him destroying his own ship

But it wasn’t so it’s null

You aren’t even subtle about Galra Keith

How can Allura see through Illusions?

Nobody knows!

Shiro, you have no jetpack, how are you so fast?

“Who cares, wormhole!” mood

I… uh… I want to do SO many things with this idea

Preferably not what they actually do...

#voltron legendary defender #voltron legendary disappointment #voltron legendary disgrace #voltron legendary disaster #voltron #voltron rewritten defender #voltron season 1 #ship thoughts #multishipper #episode thoughts #season thoughts #shiro #lance #keith #voltron allura #pidge #hunk #coran

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