#like the psychic thing was dumb but the rest? it was well done. it was satisfying!

[lunar-years]

The horrifying fandom takes and theories it's generated aside, one of things I really love about Ted Lasso is the way it handles motherhood/babies/the future for its two main female characters. Like, on the one hand is Rebecca who so obviously and vocally has always wanted to be a mother, but married someone who didn't feel the same way and put her own desires aside for his, then had that fact thrown back in her face years later after he's abused and divorced her and gotten another woman pregnant.

A big part of Rebecca's arc is the constant frustration of having to accept the hand life's dealt her even when it's the opposite of everything she'd always wanted for herself. She's someone who wanted to be a wife and wanted to be mother and then finds herself in middle age as neither of those things. Then she makes the decision to pursue it on her own (which was awesome, I love that they showed her going to the fertility clinic and inquiring about whether pregnancy was a possibility for her! there's not way to become a mother!) and then she has to face her inability to get pregnant. And it sucks! but as sad as that is, it's also very...real? And the show doesn't miraculously let her have a miracle pregnancy anyway (like stupider shows would do, tbh), but instead has Rebecca come to terms with herself and her life under its new circumstances. She finds purpose outside of the things she once thought she would be and the roles her younger self assumed she would play as an adult. By the final episode, she's calling Richmond her family! She's realized what she wants most is the stay at the Club. She's come into her own. And then, yeah, there's the little ambiguous opening of Matthijs and his daughter and her possible future there with them--but importantly it isn't the end all to her happiness, anymore. It's a sign that she still has opportunities, just maybe not in the way she first envisioned, that no doors have closed forever and that what she's been looking for might come from unexpected places. there's no timeline!

And then you have Keeley, who's in her 30s and focused on her career and still figuring out how she wants that to look and who she wants to be. And yeah she's dating, and she has a serious onscreen relationship, but the topic of children (or marriage for that matter) never even once comes up! It's not made some big arc about how she doesn't want those things, and it's not some big fight with Roy or a goofy "really, you've never thought about babies?' conversation with Rebecca, it's just never something that's made relevant to her character nor her growth! She's a whole person without those things and she's clearly not actively pursuing them. And these two women with very different goals and wants are completely supportive of one another--it's never even a question :)

I thought both of their storylines in that sense were very refreshing to see on TV and like, comforting? If anything, the discourse it's spawned has been very...eye-opening...about how conditioned people have become to expect traditional marriage and babies storylines from every single female character. But the show doesn't give in to that mentality and instead shows that there's not one way a family has to look and not one way to be a mother and there isn't a set timeline for any of this stuff even if later you change your mind. And then if things don't turn out how you think, it doesn't mean you aren't going to end up with a good life! that was such a good message.

[fabuloustrash05]

What is your honest opinion on the TMNT 2012 girls? In my opinion I don't understand a lot of the hate they get and they weren't even horrible or that badly writen. Yeah there were flaws in their writing but so did the other male characters have it as well.

I love all the girls! Some more than others. They all have their good qualities and I will admit even my favorites have flaws, but I blame the writer's more than the characters themselves.

This took awhile to put together and get my honest thoughts through, but here it is! Here’s my opinion of the TMNT 2012 Girls: April, Karai, Irma, Renet, Mona Lisa, Shinigami and Alopex!

April O'Neil

My opinion of April has changed throughout the years. As a kid first watching the series I felt indifferent towards her (I didn’t hate her but I also didn’t like her), then when the series was over I grew salty and began to hate her on rewatch. I became a toxic person because of my hatred for 2012 April, but lately I’ve grown to like her and appreciate her for the good things she’s done. I’m proud of her for how far she’s come in her ninja training. I think most of that change came from how ridiculously hated she is in the fandom when honestly she doesn’t deserve that hate. She's not the best or the perfect character, but some people make it their religion to hate on her and it's pathetic. I realized how toxic 2012 April haters are and I wanted to distance myself from that and I began to chat with 2012 April fans and things got better for me and my opinion of her change to something more positive.

My biggest problem with April still to this day is her relationship with Donnie and how it was handled. I disagree when people say she was manipulative towards Donnie and Casey cause honestly I can understand that she feels uncomfortable and awkward in this situation these boys put her in and is conflicted on how she should handle it, because in the end she is only a 16 year old girl and both Donnie and Casey are still her friends that she cares about. Now her kissing Donnie at the farmhouse, I was mad at her for, but that was a dumb decision on the writer's end. That choice made it come off that April is leading him on, but honestly Donnie is not perfect either and he is just as bad when is comes to this relationship, but this post isn't about Apritello, it’s about April. If you wanna know how I would've handle Donnie and April's romance, you can check it out HERE.

I fully blame the writer's on this one, but I feel April's plot with her family's connection to the Kraang, her mom missing, and her being a half Kraang herself was totally wasted and forgotten by the 3rd season. They were doing good build up to it but then I feel they completely dropped it and forgot about it by season 4 and onward. My guess is the writer's didn't know where to go on from there so they just ignored it for the rest of the series hoping we wouldn't notice. Her have psychic powers is cool but feels totally random and out of place at times. Yeah, Kraang Prime has psychic powers too but most of April's Kraang heritage plot often leaves more questions than answers. Another thing is I wish she was given more Kraang features as the series progressed. I see a lot of fans today draw her with Kraang like eyes or tentacles coming out of her head and neck and it looks really cool! Let my girl embrace her alien side!!

Karai

She used to be my all time favorite character in the series, her intro episode is what got me into fully watching the rest of the series. So I thank Karai for being the reason I really got into TMNT. I loved her, but after rewatching the show a few times, I would see her choices and just wonder “what the hell was she thinking?” She does so many dumb decisions as the series goes on and it begins frustrate me. She had two opportunities to go back to her real father and be a family with him and her turtle brothers, but instead she is blinded by her vendetta against Shredder and wants to overthrow his empire. Now that is a cool concept, Karai taking over the Foot, but when she returned in season 4 it just feels out of no where and I feel I skip a whole arc or season. I wish they gave her more time to grow and we see her come to this decision instead of it just happening. Side note, but I love how even before the reveal, Karai acts like a teasing older sister towards the Turtles. Her dynamic with Donnie, Raph and Mikey is rare to see but you can see that they care about her and she cares about them too and I love it.

Her snake form was very cool and had a creative design, though that whole arc of trying to find her and then her being brainwashed was pointless filler, such a waste of time. How she out of no where mastered her turning from human to snake at will was so random. The whole brainwashed Karai arc in general didn't need to happened!

I feel I'm obligated to talk about it, but Karai's biggest flaw, as well as it being TMNT 2012's worst quality, was her relationship with Leo. What were they thinking with that shit?! If they wanted Leo to have a crush on the enemy that's fine! That can be good drama, but why then throw in the twist that his crush is also his sister and continue to push a romance between them in the same episode when they are acknowledged as being family?!! Such wasted potential for them to just be enemies who respect one another that grows into a friendly rivalry that becomes two siblings looking out for one another, but still like to get on each other's nerves. Beside that mess, her and Leo do have a fun and good dynamic, when it isn't being ruined with forced uncomfortable romance. I also wanna add I like her dynamic with April and parallels between the two girls. Overall, I like Karai, but she could've been better.

Irma/Rook

I'm adding "Irma" to the list cause she counted as a character for a short while before the twist and she did technically come back in season 4. I liked Irma, she was funny, quirky, and her dynamic with April and Casey was fun to watch. I liked her banter with Casey, it always made me laugh. I'm honestly still disappointed that it was revealed Irma was not even Irma but was just a robot controlled by Kraang Sub Prime. All that hope to see Irma befriend the Turtles was destroy for me.

I am glad they were able to find a way to bring back Irma in the form of the Utrom Rook in season 4. She had little screen time but she always stuck out to me for some reason. Also, wasted potential of not having April meet Rook and for her to have a heart to heart with her about the friend lost because Rook looks like her old best friend.

I actually did a whole rewrite of how I would've handle the Irma is robot twist and still keep her as a character: LINK.

Renet Tilley

I love her so much! She's funny, entertaining and a total sweetheart. I love how she's a very bubbly and overall kind person but isn't afraid to punch someone right in the face. I like how she's perceived as dumb and naïve but is actually very smart and is usually the one saving the Turtle's from certain doom. I also love the little detail of her having a gap in her teeth. Really brings out the childish nature to her character. My favorite part about Renet is how much of a fangirl she is, literally representing the entire TMNT fandom. From first meeting them Renet has so much faith and trust in the Turtles because of what she's read about them in her history books. They are her heroes, she believes in them and knows in the end they'll save the day. The very concept of the Turtles befriend a time traveler from the future was another thing that was underused and could've open the door to so many cool new stories and adventures, but like many characters, she was underused and only came back when need, like for a Halloween special of all things. I'm really surprised Mikey or any of the Turtles didn’t mentioned her after the Earth was destroyed by the Black Hole Generation, remembering what she told them about how they've saved the world so many times.

I know some people find controversy with her romantic relationship with Mikey nowadays because of them both being from different time periods, but I still find their dynamic very sweet and entertaining to watch. As best friends or as romantic partners, you got to admit that they are fun to see together. She understands Mikey and never judges him for his weird antics/ideas and Mikey finds her quirkiness adoring and always makes sure she is safe.

A little nitpick I have is with her character design, mainly when we see her without her helmet. Her hair model design doesn't look good, like it looks like she's wearing a wig that they just slapped on her at the last minute. Which sucks cause in her concept sketches her hair looks very good, with having a more proper hair line, but since the braid crown is playing as her hairline in the 3D model it doesn't look good.

Also, technically Renet is the most powerful ally the Turtles have because of her weapon alone. Why does no one talk about that?? The Turtles are lucky that Renet is on their side.

Mona Lisa/Y'gythgba

SHE IS MY QUEEN AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH!! <3

Next to April, Mona Lisa also gets a lot of unnecessary hate, but I know why she gets hate. It those toxic whiney Raphael fangirls who can't accept the fact that he's fictional and is happy with an actual girlfriend so now they can't have him or ship him with their self insert Mary Sue OCs. A true Raphael fangirl, like myself, would be happy for Raph that he found someone who loves and respects him for who he is.

It's already obvious that Mona was another underused character in this series. I absolutely LOVE the space arc in season 4, but the concept of the Salamandrians, though cool, were very underused despite the Turtles fighting a Salamandiran before (Newtrailzer). If you ask me, Mona and Sal should've been more present during the space arc and they should've been there helping the Turtles when they were fighting the Triceratons on Earth at the end of the arc. This choice could've given the writer's the opening for Mona to start living on Earth sooner and join the Mighty Mutanimals during mid season 4 instead of saying she joined the Mutanimals in season 5 but never see her with them! (I'm still so mad that they got our hopes up that we'd see Mona interact/become friends with the Mutanimals only to find out that we will never see her again after When Worlds Collide) I have actually wrote a whole post on how I would've included Mona in more episodes, give her more time in the spotlight and her joining the Mutanimals sooner: LINK.

Mona being a lieutenant for the Salamandiran army already says a lot about who she is and what she has been through. You cannot tell me that this woman as killed people and has war trauma! Mona is an interesting character and her personality clashes well with Raph's, even before they became a couple, them butting heads shows what kind of person Mona is. She can be short tempered and stubborn like him and would often jump to conclusions, a fight first ask question later kind of gal. She loves to fight and is a very strong and skilled warrior. She is loyal to those she looks up to and respects like her commander and is a rule follower, but sometimes she loses control of herself and steps out of line, to which her commander has to hold her back. She cares deeply about the ones she's close to and especially shows how much she loves and cares for Raph. Most fans result her to just being a love interest, but she's still her own character and grows as a person from being with Raph. Honestly the push up scene was one of her highlights, not only for being hilarious and showing how in love she is with Raph, but also showing that she's more than a strict serious lieutenant. That scene reminds us that she's still a teenager and is acting her age, even she can't help but break her serious military persona once in a while.

I absolutely adore her and I'm so happy more fans today are growing to love her as much as I do! She's such a great character and its ashamed that we didn't get to see more of her in the show, but I'm happy with what I got.

Shinigami

My only criticism I have of her is that she is underused (I know I say that a lot) and I really dislike that she was forced shipped with Mikey. It was the most pointless decision they did for her character. You can just tell the writer's didn't know what to do with her so the made her a love interest as well thinking that would make her more interesting. That was a dumb decision. Her and Mikey are not a good match for many reasons I won't get into, but here's what they should've done:

Not ship her with anyone cause we already had enough love interests by the time she entered the show.

Ship her with Leo instead of making him crush on his freaking sister. They already wanted him to have a crush on a female ninja from the Foot Clan who's a bad girl, why couldn't they hold it off until he met Shini instead of Karai?

Ship her with Casey as a way to give Casey a happy ending after that whole love triangle drama.

Ship her with Karai cause they were obviously already dating in the show! Shinirai forever!!

Regardless of that poor decision, I love Shini, her design is very gorgeous and creative, and her concept of being a witch brings something new to the series with magic and illusions. I feel there has been wasted potential with her not being involved during the Kavaxas arc, cause come on, she's a witch who specializes in dark magic. Why didn't they have her be attached to the Kavaxas cult in some way? Or have her know about Kavaxas and help the team stop him? Honestly I was convinced at one point that Shini was going to be a surprise villain and she was secretly loyal to Shredder not Karai and betray her during the finale. I made a whole post about it actually LINK.

Overall, I love Shinigami! Next to Mona Lisa she is one of my favorite female characters. I love seeing her teasing April and the others, especially towards her enemies, treating a battle like its nothing more than a game to her. Her loyalty and romance friendship with Karai I adore. She is such a fun character and underrated too if you ask me.

Alopex

She stole the show and she was only in one episode! Once again, another underused female character. Alopex is technically (not counting April) the first female mutant on the show (not counting Karai cause she's able to turn back), and we only get one episode with her. That should be consider a crime, but the episode she was in, she made a damn good impression. We learn of her and Tiger Claw's tragic backstory and you grow to understand why she is so hatful towards her brother for the life he put her through and him supposedly killing their parents. She establishes herself as a badass and continues to prove she is a badass throughout the episode. The way she cut off her brother's tail and later is arm without a second thought and then leaves shows shows how ruthless she is, but her sparring him also shows her compassion and her hope that one day her and Tiger Claw can be a family again.

Her line "Just remember, I could have taken your life" sent chills down my spine when I first heard it.

My biggest complaint is WHY didn't they bring Alopex back during the Kavaxas arc in season 5?! How cool would it have been if the Turtles recruited and teamed up with Alopex to take down her brother!

[marypsue]

Old if you’re still doing the trope rating but if so! Outside POV and found family! Also this is not tied to the trip rating but I’m honor of curse reverse being almost done (ahhh!!!!!!!!!) do you have any deleted scenes or directors commentary you want to share?

Hello, anon, hello! I’ll still do this trope rating meme, absolutely!

Outside(r?) POV: 

No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you don’t even know |

Hello, Mary-nip. There is much that delights me, in the world of fanfiction, but there’s very little that delights me so much and so consistently as a work that focuses on somebody who is peripheral to or completely disconnected from The Plot and The Main Characters, and their experience of the world/canon events. 

Love it when the outsider has no idea what’s going on and spends the entire time reacting with shock. Love it when the outsider manages somehow to miss the importance of (or just plain miss) all of the canon events as they unfold around that outsider. Love it when the outsider is just trying to live their life around whatever bullshit is happening in canon. Love it when the outsider is actually, secretly, an insider, has managed to put together, through dint of observation, deduction, and not being a complete fucking idiot, at least the broad strokes of what is actually going on. And has been taking bets with other outsiders-who-are-secretly-insiders on what dumb thing The Main Characters are going to do about The Plot this time, and how long it’ll take The Main Characters to notice that they’re doing a really bad job of keeping their Big Important Secret...secret. Just. Love love love love love it. 

Found family: 

No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you don’t even know |

I’ve seen this done badly, but more often I’ve seen it done well. I’m a big ol’ sucker for characters being important to each other. (Hate it when authors try to slot the characters in a ‘found family’ situation into nuclear family roles, though, especially when the characters in question already have biological/nuclear families with whom we are never shown they do anything but get along with and love.)

Also, speaking of deleted scenes, I’ve got a couple! The first one was from when I thought I was going to go in a slightly different direction with put your curse in reverse from much earlier on. And the second one is one that I couldn’t find a good place for, but might still find its way into the AU, in a slightly different form.

...

“What did you think we were talking about?” she snaps back at Robin, and is rewarded with another of those oh-god-I’m-gonna-puke looks.

“Nothing. Nothing. None of your business.”

“Are you kidding? What, do you not trust me now? You’ve got my secret. If it gets out, I’ll be a laughingstock. Or worse.” Barb shakes her head, leaning into the corner by the door. Somebody else must have sat here, like this, sometime. There are initials scratched into the paint of the door. “I know you don’t believe me. You don’t have to. Just don’t – tell anybody. Please.”

Robin still sounds disbelieving, but also a little curious, as she says, “’Or worse’?”

Barb can’t look at her. “If the wrong people hear about this – last November. Remember Will Byers went missing? And they found his body? And then he came back?”

“I thought that had something to do with how decomposed -”

Barb presses on. “They faked his death. And they nearly did the same for the rest of us. They still could.”

Robin’s quiet, for a while. Barb can’t bring herself to say anything else.

“You…really are scared, huh,” Robin says, at last.

Barb shrugs one shoulder. When she looks over at Robin, Robin’s biting her bottom lip, giving Barb a long, considering look. “So…what can you do? What kind of -” She chokes on a laugh. “Psychic powers do you have?”

Barb turns her face back toward the door before she mumbles, “I know the future sometimes.” She’s uncomfortably aware that Robin’s going to ask her to demonstrate. She’s equally uncomfortably aware that she won’t be able to. Not with this freezing darkness lying over all the possibilities and pushing her out.

“The future,” Robin repeats. She doesn’t sound convinced. She also doesn’t sound totally unconvinced, though, either. Barb dares to raise her head, a little. “What about Nancy?”

“Nancy? Oh, she blows stuff up.”

“She what?”

“Okay, blows holes in stuff. It’s very violent. Very Carrie.”

“That is -”

“Not what you would’ve expected from her?” Barb risks another look over in Robin’s direction. “Trust me, if you know her, it makes perfect sense.”

Robin leans forward, folding her hands on her bent knee and resting her chin on top of them. “Would she be willing to demonstrate?” She must catch the meaning in the look Barb’s shooting her, because she puts on a flippant smile. “No offence, but knowing the future sometimes is a little vague. Blowing holes in stuff is a little harder to deny.”

She still doesn’t sound like she believes Barb. But at least she’s willing to try. That’s a start.

“And harder to fake, right?” Barb nods. “I might be able to persuade her.” She pauses, thinking, before she asks, “So, you really don’t have any – odd talents that nobody else can quite seem to do? Never done anything, known anything, that you couldn’t really explain?”

Robin shrugs, without unfolding from her curled-up pose. Her smile goes a little wry, for a second, and then she just looks sad. But all she says is, “I can twist my tongue over so the front part’s upside down?”

“Really? How? I mean, that’s not really the kind of thing I was thinking of, but -”

Robin opens her mouth and demonstrates. It is weirdly unsettling.

“Okay, stop it, stop it!” Barb has to begrudgingly admit, “Very impressive, though.”

Robin shuts her mouth again, with a smug little smile.

“So is that what all that out on the soccer field was about?” she asks. “You – what, had a premonition of that kid getting electrocuted?”

“He didn’t get electrocuted,” Barb says. “And I wish I’d known that was coming. No. What happened out there is – kind of a long story.”

Robin shrugs, again, and settles back against the wall. “Well, it sure sounds more interesting than trying to solve for x. Take all the time you need.”

Robin doesn’t skip class any more than Barb does. Barb knows an olive branch when she sees one.

“Okay,” she says, unwedging herself from the corner and sitting up so she can get comfortable. “Okay. So it started last November…”

...

“So, tell me. When the Brain says ‘if you need anything at all’, does that include help digging up a pumpkin patch by hand?”

Joyce sighs, jabbing the point of her shovel into the dirt and leaning heavily against the handle. “Why do you have such a problem with him? And don’t try to tell me it’s just that he’s too good to be true, again.”

Whatever answer she’s hoping for – and even she’s not sure – she doesn’t get it. Hopper just goes back to throwing shovelsful of dirt out of the steadily-growing hole at their feet and doesn’t meet her eyes.

“I worry about you,” he says, finally, to the dirt.

“Worry about - ! Hop, he’s the biggest sweetheart I’ve ever met. Nothing at all like -” Joyce bites off her own sentence. “Honestly, sometimes I wonder what it would even take to make him get really angry.” Honestly, sometimes, some perverse part of her wants to push. Wants to be cruel enough to find out.

Even thinking it, trying to put it into words, just makes it sound crazy even to Joyce. God, what is wrong with her. Bob’s seemingly endless reserves of calm patience should be reassuring, not anxiety-inducing.

Joyce just – she doesn’t know where his limits are. Doesn’t know if maybe she’s already found them. She’s fallen for one lying, manipulative sonuvabitch already. The more helpful and understanding Bob tries to be with each new thing Joyce has to put him through, the worse the nagging worry gets. That maybe he’s putting on a friendly face to get something out of her. Or quietly stewing over the best way to hurt her back for something Joyce didn’t even realise she’d done. That maybe it’s all about to blow up in her face –

That sounds paranoid. It sounds paranoid, and Joyce knows that’s not what Bob’s like. She trusts him, he’s never given any sign that he’s anything other than exactly what he seems to be, anything other than genuinely kind. It’s just –

Sometimes, she just doesn’t know what he’s thinking.

If only he’d blow his top every once in a while, draw a hard line of how much more he’ll put up with, maybe then Joyce would be able to tell where she stands.

“That wasn’t what -” Hopper huffs out a sigh, resting a foot on the head of the shovel and leaning against the handle as he looks Joyce in the face. “You got him right in the middle of everything. Keeping him in the dark’s gotta be a full-time job. Especially right now.”

“That’s why I don’t want to, anymore,” Joyce says. That’s part of the truth, anyway. “He’s part of my life, now. I – I want him to be a part of my life.”

...

(Oh, and also this:)

“Seriously, Karen, you must remember being a teenager. Doing stupid things is baked in.”

[bonesandthebees]

10, 17, 23, and 41 for the ask game!

10. How do you decide what to write?

well, I'm someone who always has a million ideas buzzing around in her head at once. if I'm actually going to sit down and write something, I gotta set some criteria to make sure it's something I actually want to take the time to write out. like if I'm trying to decide what my next longfic is going to be (ie: clinic, world forgetting, stars) the criteria I have is meant to help me figure out if this is a project I'll stick with for months on end. these criteria are: do i have an ending already in mind for it? do I have multiple scenes floating around my head that I know won't come till later in the story, but the excitement about eventually writing them will keep me going? do I think this is a concept others will enjoy reading? will this take at least 90-100k words to tell this story if not more? if the answer is yes to all of those, boom, I have a potential longfic

for shorter stuff my criteria is a little different. it's mostly just me asking myself if the story interests me enough to write the entire thing out or if it's just something I'd rather leave in the brain microwave lol

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

oh man this is just me staring at a list of movie aus i've never cared enough about to write but would love to read. give me an au of the 2009 movie push with chris evans it's such a dumb movie but the concept is so fun. you have this very done with life 20 something guy who tries to cheat at gambling with his psychic powers but he never practices them so he's shit. then you have a random 13-14 year old that just bursts into his life and can see the future so the kid is just like "alright we're working together on this i've already seen it and if you listen to me we'll get rich" and he's like who are you and why the fuck are you in my apartment. it's sooo crimeboys i want it so bad

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

answered this in more detail in the previous ask but soulmate au!!

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

I mean I love anything written by roxy, but their fic ritual purposes just hits me so hard in such a weird way?? not weird bad, it's just strange how much i connect with it for no specific reason? there's just so many little things about the writing that suck me in. like i think there's one line where phil rests a hand on tommy's back and the writing mentions that his shirt is warm from standing in the sun for so long and idk why that little detail just felt so insanely real to me. all the tiny domestic moments in it are filled with those types of details and it makes me go insane i love it so much. (the archaeology aspect is soooo cool too it's so fun to read about that stuff) anyway I'd love to be able to write like that, just with all those super small details that make it feel so much more real

ty for this!!! these were fun!

ask game!

[dogbearinggifts]

What are your thoughts on tua S2? Did you feel like the characters grew? What did you like? What did you not? I’m interested in your perspective. Your analysis are super thoughtful and interesting!

Aw, thanks, Anon!

Overall, I really enjoyed S2 and thought it was a solid follow-up to S1. I do have my quibbles about it, so I think (for ease of reference and because my thoughts are a little scattered today) I’ll list some of my personal highlights (in no particular order) before getting into what I didn’t like as much.

Big spoilers ahead.

Allison. I thought they handled her storyline especially well. Of all the siblings, I think she had the most difficult obstacles placed in her way (not only is she a Black woman landing in 1961 Dallas, but she’s a Black woman landing in 1961 Dallas who can’t even speak in her own defense for a year) and they sugarcoated exactly none of it. The writers pulled no punches when showing what civil rights protesters went through, which just made their nonviolent response all the more breathtaking. Allison’s fear and anger during those scenes were palpable even as she kept them hidden. But along with that horror, we see the kindness and warmth of the Dallas Black community, the women who take her in simply because she needs their help, and her love for Ray, perhaps heretofore THE most thoughtful husband ever portrayed on screen. I loved him, and I loved him and Allison together. While I understand and respect his choice to stay in 1963, I wish they’d gotten more time together. They both deserved it.

Vanya. We got to see how much the baggage from her past affected her by glimpsing what she might be like if it were taken away. It’s an interesting philosophical question, and it was explored well, in my opinion. She finds it easier to love and be loved, and she stands up for herself more readily—but she also doesn’t hesitate to use powers she can’t quite control and threatens Five without fully realizing how dire her threat is (or how it might dredge up traumatic memories she doesn’t know exist). The moment where Ben finds her curled up, fully convinced she’s a monster, was heartbreaking. I loved watching her find happiness with Sissy, even if that was fleeting (and dear god, Sissy deserved her happy ending with Vanya, dammit, I don’t care if it would fuck up the timeline). Her patience and sweetness with Harlan were just beautiful. And the way she used the confidence she gained during her amnesia to fully come into her own not to exact revenge on her siblings, but to save them, was fucking phenomenal.

The humor. There was a lot more humor this season, and it was awesome. So many iconic scenes—Olga Foroga, Luther babysitting two homicidal Fives, Elliot awkwardly lecturing his guests on the history of Jello, “NEW TIMELINE NEW ME,” “Your vagina needs glasses,” AJ the fish gobbling up the cigarette bubbles, Five getting to say “fuck”….this season was a lot funnier than the previous one, and I think that was one of its strengths.

Klaus’ cult. It was played for laughs, which I both expected and thought was the best way to handle it. He didn’t want to start a new religion with himself at the center; he just wanted to not get thrown out of any more diners, but Destiny’s Children had other ideas. The “I too am a fraud!” scene was hilarious and tickled the question of whether or not a religion founded on false pretenses can still help those within it find meaning.

Luther. Getting him away from his dad, his siblings, and the Academy was exactly what he needed to become the pure of heart and dumb of ass genius we always knew he was, but his first major step in that direction was heartbreaking. We all knew he’d be rejected once he got to the Academy. We all knew Reginald would rip his heart out and stomp on it in his admittedly fashionable shoes. It gets Luther out on his own and forces him to become his own person apart from his dad, but that doesn’t make it any easier to watch. He got the positive character development he needed, but the catalyst was tragic.

Diego. We see, for the first time, exactly how Reginald kept him in line—not with meds or with PTSD-inducing torture, but with words. Even when he knows Diego as little more than a stranger, Reginald is able to rip off his skin and fling it in his face with a single diatribe; and even at 30, with years away from his dad, Diego is left unable to speak, feeling as if all of his accomplishments up to that point were the work of a dumb kid who thought he was smarter and more capable than he actually was.

Luther and Diego sharing a braincell. Luther has bad ideas. Diego has bad ideas. When they put their bad ideas together, they get terrible ideas. I loved watching them work together as a team, rather than being at each others’ throats for most of the season, even if I’m left hoping Olga Foroga had a pleasant and quiet day after that phone call.

Reginald. At first glance, it may look like the writers were trying to make him likable so they could parade him around as your average abusive-parent-with-a-soft-side. But it’s more nuanced than that. Abusive parents (and abusers in general) often fly under the radar because they fool outsiders into thinking they’re good people. They’re active in their communities. They give to charity. They have friends who attest to their virtue, significant others who think they’re the greatest. And that’s what we see with Reginald. We see him as the rest of the world did: an intelligent, eccentric man with a sharp sense of humor who cared deeply about scientific advancement. That’s how he evaded suspicion—because there were stories from years past of lively parties at his mansion, of what a gentleman he was to Grace and of how he did everything he could to save little Pogo. But those stories would all have come from people he considered his equals. When he’s with people he considers his inferiors—aka, the Umbrella kids—he’s openly condescending and demeaning. We get to see how he fooled the world, and it is chilling.

Elliot. He deserved better, and you can ship him with any one of the Hargreeves kids and get the cutest thing ever. 

The Swedes. They said so much while speaking very little.

Ben. He got more personality and screen time, and it was glorious. His love of his family and resentment toward Klaus practically leapt off the screen. The way he says “I’ve missed you all…so much” once they’ve all left was one of those right-in-the-feels moments; and watching him get so much of what he’s wanted for years when he possesses Klaus was beautiful.

Now, as for things I took issue with….

Ben. I understand why they ended his arc the way they did. I get that they were probably afraid the Klaus/Ben dynamic would grow stale if they didn’t change it somehow and wanted to give him a larger role in S3. His death(???) was heartbreaking and extremely well-done. But it also wasn’t foreshadowed. We never got any sense of what ghosts in the TUA ‘verse are, so the fact they can be destroyed by a ton of sound-turned-energy or by going too far into someone’s psyche or whatever happened….it’s not that it doesn’t make sense so much as there’s not enough evidence to determine whether or not it makes sense. It feels like the writers just kinda made that up so they’d have a reason to change Ben’s relationship dynamics, but if that’s the case, couldn’t they have done it another way? Couldn’t they have made it so the immense energy or psychic woo-woo or whatever gave him a power-up instead of destroying him? Vanya transferred some of her energy into Harlan and brought him back to life. Couldn’t something similar have happened with Ben? And if it tied him to Vanya as well as to Klaus, great! More fodder for angst and humor! (”Vannyyyyyyyy, stop hogging Ben!” “You got him for 17 years, Klaus, you can part with him for 20 minutes.” “Guys, don’t I get a say in this?”) I’m glad they didn’t write him out of the series entirely, but I still wish they’d kept him and all the character development he’d gotten throughout S2.

Episode 10. It looks like they tried to cram half a season’s worth of developments into 45 minutes. Twenty minutes in, I’d already said “Wait what the fuck” half a dozen times. A lot of those moments were explained later on, and I was able to make enough inferences to fill in any lingering plot holes, but…still. Too much stuff, too little time. E9 was a perfectly satisfying ending to the season. Yes, it leaves the siblings stranded in 1963, but they could’ve tied up those loose ends in the S3 premiere.

Lila. She’s an incredibly fun character, but her arc is kind of a mess. Most of that is due to E10, and I do feel that more time to let her arc breathe would’ve worked wonders, but I’m left feeling like her turn from “Handler is the best mom ever and I lurve Diego too” to “KILL DIEGO AND HIS EVIL FAMILY” to “Handler is a bad mom and Diego is right” happened too quickly.

The Commission. Okay, so, the Handler announces the entire Board has been killed, and she’s stepping in as director even though everyone appears to know she’s been demoted (and demoted pretty severely—she went from having an office bigger than some apartments to being a case management drone). There’s suspicion and lots of it. But then, La Resistance is….ten or so people in a single room? And when she calls the temps agents to her side, thousands of them show up ready and willing to fight and die? I dunno. Just seems like there should’ve been more splintering going on there. Again, I think they needed more time to tie everything up.

Aside from those complaints, I loved the season. I set aside most of a day to binge it, and I do not regret that decision at all.

[twofrontteethstillcrooked]

1 Oct. Suptober: Harvest

"Going to have a proper harvest for once," she said. The other witch laughed in agreement. "Think of the price we'll fetch for pure angel grace."

post-15x09 au snippetfic; deancas, samwena 

"Get the fuck away from him," Cas rasped, and it was the swear as much as the simple fact of Cas being alive that caused Dean to gasp and open his eyes.

He'd screwed them shut in anticipation of a killing blow that never landed. The witch had reeled around and away from Dean toward Cas, and the dagger in her hand glinted in the one of bar of light that was piercing through the boarded up basement window.

Dungeon window, more like. Cave window. The darkness made it difficult to determine where exactly Cas was in relation to Dean. A few feet away? Way on the other side of the room, maybe still half slumped against the spiderwebbed stone wall? Dean tried, and failed, to stand. Something was oozing into his right eye; his legs wobbled like the floor was made of bouncy house.

"Cas," he said once without the sound reaching his own ears. He fell backwards, wooden slats splintering on his weight.

In the dusty beam, the tip of Cas's angel blade blazed like a falling star that blinked out as the second witch holding it stalked into the dark again. 

Dean heard her guttered low cackle, as though she were a radio station the dial had finally properly tuned. His whole body went cold. 

"Going to have a proper harvest for once," she said. The other witch laughed in agreement. "Think of the price we'll fetch for pure angel grace."

"And feathers," the other crowed, before beginning a frantic chant in a language Dean did not recognize.

"Feathers, yessss." The witch's hiss poured like venom into Dean's veins. 

His eyes had adjusted only enough to see the angel blade raised high, and, somehow, the shadow of Cas's wings spread singed and mangled on the wall.

"Or perhaps both wings."

No, Dean thought. No, no, no, no. Please, no.

"We can hack them off at the--"

She'd stopped talking because her head was whizzing past Dean's own. He might have yelped in the effort to dodge it. Overhead fluorescent light banged into the room. Rowena stood in the door, arm raised like she was hoisting an invisible car over a fence; the witch who still had a head had crumpled to the ground. Sam stood over the beheaded body, breathing heavily and wild eyed as a banshee, small sword still aloft dripping red.

The witch on the floor squeaked once, like a mouse stepped on by a particularly pointed heel, and fell silent. 

From beneath her now unmoving form, what seemed like a mere pool of ink spread and spread until it almost touched Dean's boot.

He couldn't catch his breath. The room was quiet like a roar and he could not stand up. He thought to rub at the wetness in his eye and found the substance was sticky. Pressing harder made fire race into his eye socket and up his temple.

Sam was moving towards him, weapon thrown down with a clatter, but Cas arrived first, his face, wracked with fear and dappled with blood across his cheekbone, swimming into view as he knelt.

If his was the last face Dean was ever to see, Dean could take some comfort in it. He refused to close his eyes again.

"Hey, buddy," Dean said, smiling lopsided and rueful. 

Cas's hand fell to cup Dean's jaw like a blessing; it turned out Dean was lying down, though Dean had no memory of seeking earth. 

Cas's other thumb rubbed across Dean's forehead like he was tracing runes onto Dean's skin. Dean felt something crackle beneath his bones: for a split-second, his heart stopped, suspended in pain. The next second was like being punched out of a cannon -- he sat up and nearly knocked his newly healed skull directly into Cas's.

"Dean," Cas breathed in relief despite the pallor of his complexion and the way his hands shook as they pulled away from Dean. Then: "Thank you," he told Sam, who nodded and hauled him to his feet by the elbows before reaching to do the same for Dean.

Sam patted Dean on the shoulder. Rowena stepped around the puddle of witch and grinned her smug grin. 

Cas looked at Dean like he might vanish and Dean returned the stare until he had to look away or… Or. 

There was crimson on the sleeve of Cas's trench, in a crease.

Rowena and Sam collected the angel blade, the dagger, the gory sword. Dean collected himself. He followed Cas's heavier than usual trudge up the stairs and into the coming dusk. The ache of wanting to gather Cas into his arms followed him all the way back to the motel.

In the other room, Sam was talking to Jack on the phone while Rowena hooted. Well, that's what it sounded like she was doing anyway, and since there was a child in the mix, albeit a twenty-something toddler who was 90 miles away, hooting was by far the least concerning noise she could have been making.

Not that Dean in any way was going to ponder what other sounds she might choose to unleash in a room also containing his brother. He sat on the edge of the bed nearest the bathroom and stared at the three jack o'lantern sized pumpkins that he and Cas had bought at a roadside stand a few hours before the case went witch-shaped. He envisioned the pumpkins with toothy grins and chose not to think about anything else with such effort it was a miracle he wasn't carving the gourds psychically.

Cas came out of the bathroom sans trenchcoat -- which was to say, almost naked -- and with a clean face. He sat down beside Dean carefully. "How are you feeling?" He looked at Dean with soft eyes, like Dean was the only concern worth voicing.

After a moment, Cas sighed into the space Dean was supposed to have filled.

"I guess," Dean started. He gave his own sigh. "We've fixed a lot of things, recently, haven't we?"

Cas tipped his head, waiting for Dean to continue.

"Like. Chuck's out there. But. Jack has his soul. Rowena isn't dead. You don't have a deal with the freakin Empty dogging your heels bad as a pack of hellhounds." Dean curled his fingers like his hands were going to betray him somehow; his throat felt full of glass. "You gotta stop saving me, man."

Cas took a breath like Dean had struck him. A variety of memories of actually hitting Cas -- blood crisscrossing, bruises blooming -- flashed through Dean so quickly he almost retched. 

He was trying to keep his mouth closed and his treacherous stomach obedient when Cas said, "You cannot ask me not to help when I can still help."

"You're the one who said I wasn't listening about your powers--" He held up a hand against the protest he could see Cas about to make. "And you were right. I dunno what to do about it, but I know you havin' to heal my dumb ass nine times a week isn't makin' things better."

Dean could see Cas's eyes were wet.

The shards in Dean's throat made it hard to speak. "You're worth more to us, to me, than just what you can do as a powered-up angel." He nudged Cas's knee with his own. "You know that, right? Not that I'm not grateful as hell for you fixing me up tonight, 'cause I am. Grateful, I mean."

He looked at Cas, whose exhaustion seemed to be draped around him like a cloak. Dean was tired too, and not just from the major brain injury he'd sustained earlier. He’d wasted so much time not saying certain things, not letting certain things happen; he’d protected the wrong things, maybe, or maybe the right thing the wrong ways.

Maybe he could blame lingering effects, illusory or otherwise, on what he chose to do next. 

Cas, he prayed, you might have died tonight. We… I. I almost lost you again. 

A prayer continued, whispered: Please let me hold you.

Beside him, Cas startled, looked over at him. Searched Dean's eyes and shook his head just a little, as though he could not believe what he'd heard -- as though having hoped, but misheard, was too agonizing a possibility to endure.

"Please," Dean said, sliding an arm around Cas's back, sliding himself closer on the mattress until he'd vanished the space between them.

Cas turned into Dean's arms. "I almost lost you again tonight too." His voice brimmed with tears. He hooked his chin over Dean's shoulder and Dean soothed his hands over the blades of Cas's shoulders. He thought of the shadow of those majestic, tattered wings, and held on more tightly. 

He and Cas rested like that, trembling, for what seemed like an hour or more, neither of them willing to let go. When sitting upright became less comfortable, they reclined together on top of the polyester comforter patterned in pinecones. Cas tucked himself into the hollow of Dean's body, as though he had done it before somewhere other than in Dean's imagination. Dean pressed his face into Cas's soft hair and let his eyes burn as they would.

None of it solved anything; it was simply more right than anything Dean had felt in a very long time.

[marathoning-barbie]

Watching and ranking all (for now) 39 Barbie movies: an introduction

Oh God. How do I even start?

I was absolutely obsessed with the 3D-animated Barbie movies as a child. I religiously watched all of the ones up until Barbie and the Three Musketeers before I sadly dived right into my tween Not Like Other Girls™ phase and decided they were too immature and girly for me. Internalized misogyny is a bitch.

During lockdown, I eventually had the idea to marathon every single one of these movies. I started in early 2020, back when the movie franchise was still in a hiatus, then took a break and restarted the entire thing in late 2021, and now, 39 movies later, here we are.

I don’t really expect anyone to truly care about my opinions on any of these movies. I don’t even think anyone will ever see this, apart from the random seemingly-not-bot person who started following me before I even posted anything (shoutout to you, I guess). With some of the movies I kinda hope people won’t care, because the alternative is anger. But if anyone does see this, I hope my fevered rantings are mildly amusing to you.

I mostly did this to catch up with  all the movies that came “after my time”; not just because of curiosity. If you look at any discussion of these movies online, especially Youtube, there is a pretty clear pattern among people giving their opinion that whichever movie they saw last as a child was “obviously” the last good Barbie movie, and all the others since had been irredeemable trash. That can be as early as Swan Lake or as late as Rock ‘N Royals (and I definitely receive 10 points of psychic damage whenever that one is counted as old). It’s such an obvious pattern that I’m about 90% sure I could tell you which movie a person considers to be the last good one if you told me their age. That’s hyperbole, don’t actually test me.

I always thought this was an unfair assessment. I mean, I can’t deny nostalgia isn’t important to me either; I won’t even pretend my dumb little reviews or my ranking are in any way objective. But I still didn’t want to bash on the new movies just because they were new. I’m sure I’d have counted many of them among my favorites if they came out early enough for me to have watched them. Some of them are among my favorites now even without nostalgia. Not to spoil the rankings, but my avatar is a pretty obvious sign.

I have now watched every single one of these movies at least once, and I have a bit of a preliminary ranking, though I won’t publish that one yet. I will go through each movie in release order, give a super short description of the plot and then remark on everything that stood out to me — whether good or bad. I might even bring up the movie-tie-in doll if I feel like it.

After I’ve finished my reviews for at least two movies, I’ll create a ranking post, which I’ll edit whenever the next review is posted. I might rewatch a movie again before writing the review, but I won’t make that a rule, because some of these I really don’t want to see again. It should also be noted that I’m looking at these from the eyes of a young adult woman, and I’ll not only be downright mean to the movies I didn’t particularly like, I also swear way too much for my own good. Sorry for any actual kids reading this I guess.

I’m not sure if I’ll make it to the end, and if I notice that I’m not gonna continue this I’m just going to post the full final ranking and be done, but let’s hope it won’t come to that. Also, if a new movie is released while I’m working on this blog, I’ll watch and review it as well.

Now that all this is over, I guess we can go on to the reviews. I’ll post the first one in a few hours, and the rest every few days afterwards. Don’t expect me to have a proper schedule. If anyone actually reads this, feel free to ask whatever or just tell me how wrong my opinion on a movie is.

Note: I am aware of the existence of the 80s movies, but since they’re separated from the 3D-animated movies, I won’t count them for this marathon.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #175

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re entering the Dead Heat Summer Race! That’s right, we’re finally doing some Summer servants... in the Summer! We’re still a year off, but at least they’ve got the spirit!

As an added challenge, I’ll make sure all the teams get their own car! Fran & Maid Alter get a pass since they’re teamed up with people that already have cars (Babbage & Nero, respectively), but the others will all have their own vehicles to ride!

Anyways, today we’re building Nero Claudius... again. I promise this is... probably(?) the last time. She’s a Creation Bard to build up her golden theater on the sea as well as a sick car. She’s also a Draconic Soul Sorcerer to grab those giant guns she’s got on her back.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Team Electric Steam feat. Papa!

Race and Background

Nero is still a Human Noble. This gives her +1 to any two stats, and her Constitution and Charisma will need rounding up in a second, so go with those. She also gets proficiency with History, Persuasion, and Performance, plus the Lucky feat to re-roll her attacks, saves, and checks plus incoming attacks three times per long rest. You might be in a bikini, but you’re still the emperor. You get what you want, and what you want is just about everything.

Ability Scores

Surprising no one, your Charisma is your highest stat. The race was basically a popularity contest, and you won almost every leg of it. Second is Dexterity- you’re fighting in either a dress or a swimsuit, but in either case it’s definitely not armor. Your Constitution is next, races take a while and there’s no time to stop for snacks, so you’ll have to toughen up a bit. After that is Intelligence. You’re flighty, not dumb. Your Strength isn’t amazing, you don’t really need big muscles to look good, but we’re dumping Wisdom. It wouldn’t be high at the best of times, and the caster class suits you to a dangerous degree.

Class Levels

1. Sorcerer 1: Starting off as a sorcerer may get you less health and fewer proficiencies, but you still get Constitution and Charisma saves, as well as Arcana and Religion. You’re a caster now, it’s time to act like one.

The big reason we’re starting here right away is for the goody you get from being a Draconic Bloodline sorcerer, Draconic Resilience. Thanks to your great-great-great-great-great-grandparent Dragon Ancestor being a red dragon, you get an extra 1 hp for each level of this class, as well as a doubled proficiency bonus on charisma checks involving dragons.

You also get an unarmored defense of 13 + your dexterity modifier. Now you can wear a swimsuit anywhere you like without issues. I’d still recommend you don’t meet the king dressed like that, but you’re a noble, I’m sure he’s already expecting a bit of eccentricity.

You can also cast Spells using your Charisma, grab Light and Minor Illusion to put on a good show, Sword Burst so you can actually use a sword (we’ll get better options later), and Magic Missile and Create Bonfire for some quick shots from your cannons. You also get Absorb Elements, because this and Blade Ward are the easiest to get “weakness nullifying” spells, and this one’s actually good.

2. Bard 1: Bouncing over to bard real quick gives you another set of Spells that also use Charisma. You also get Bardic Inspiration, d6s you can hand out as a bonus action to allies. While they have one, they can add it to an attack, save, or check they have to make. You have Charisma Modifier inspiration dice to give out per long rest.

You do whatever you want, and while Prestidigitation isn’t quite that open-ended, it’s still pretty good for a single spell. You also get Friends, Command and Charm Person to be your usual charming self. Grab Cure Wounds for just a touch of healing, and Feather Fall. You’ve got giant metal wings, they should be good for something, right?

You get proficiency with Animal Handling as well.

3. Bard 2: Second level bards are Jacks of All Trades, adding half their proficiency bonus to all ability checks. You can also perform a Song of Rest on short rests, adding 1d6 to healing done. Your dulcet tones inspire everyone around you! (Usually to put as much distance between themselves and you as possible, but hush)

Your inspiration also turns into Magical Inspiration- creatures can use your inspiration to add to their spell’s damage or healing potential.

Finally, you get the spell Unearthly Chorus, which doesn’t have any damage or healing potential! It just makes you even better at charisma checks. It’s also very flavorful for someone about to open a theater.

4. Bard 3: Third level bards graduate from their college, and the College of Creation will one day allow you to afford a car! For now, you only have a Note of Potential, adding extra effects to your inspiration depending on how they’re used. Adding one to an ability check gives the user advantage on the die roll. Adding it to an attack roll deals thunder damage to the target and each creature next to it that fails a constitution save. Adding it to a saving throw adds temporary hp to the user equal to the roll plus your charisma modifier.

You know how I just said you only have the note? We lied. You can also make a Performance of Creation once per long rest or by spending a second level spell slot. You can create any nonmagical item, as long as it is worth less than 20 times your bard level in GP, and medium or smaller. Neither of those restrictions will help you make a car, but they’ll improve as you level up.

Finally, you get Expertise in Animal Handling and Arcana, doubling your proficiency bonus in both skills.

For your spell, Enhance Ability makes it easier to do whatever you set your mind to, giving advantage on one kind of ability check for the duration.

5. Bard 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Charisma for stronger spells and more inspiration.

You also learn the Dancing Lights cantrip so you can put on even better shows, and Pyrotechnics for pretty much the same reason. You need an existing source of fire to set it off, but you can always combo it with Create Bonfire in a pinch.

6. Bard 5: Fifth level bards are a Font of Inspiration, recharging your inspiration on short rests instead of long ones. Also, your inspiration grows to d8s.

You can also make a Motivational Speech with a third level spell slot, giving your party temporary HP, advantage on wisdom saves, and advantage on its next attack if it gets hit by an attack.

7. Bard 6: Countercharm is okay, spend an action to give advantage to your party on charm and frightening saves, but we’re really here for your subclass specialties. Your Performance of Creation can make Large objects now, and you can spend an action to make an Animating Performance, turning a large or smaller (gee, that worked out nicely) object into a Dancing Item for up to an hour. It’ll only dodge on its turn unless you use your bonus action to command the thing, but you can inspire people and command it in the same action. You can make a dancing item once per long rest, or by using third level spell slots. Also, you can only have one at a time. I’m pretty sure a functional car in a medieval setting is worth more than 120 gold though, so we’ll work on it some more later.

For your spell, I’d suggest Suggestion, it’s very useful for making the world revolve around you.

8. Sorcerer 2: Second level sorcerers become a Font of Magic (you are just becoming a font for all sorts of crap, huh?), giving you sorcery points equal to your sorcerer level. You can turn spell slots into points, or points into slots, or even cooler stuff next level!

For now, the big new thing is you can cast Shield. Those giant metal wings make it harder to hit you than you’d think.

9. Sorcerer 3: Third level sorcerers get that cooler thing I was just talking about, Metamagic! When you get it now, you get two metamagic options that can alter how your spells work; Heightened spells force disadvantage against their save on one creature they effect, and Twinned spells target two creatures instead of only one (Note: twinned spells only work on spells that target a single creature.)

You also get Scorching Ray, giving you a macross missile massacre of fire out of those organcannons you’re hauling around with you.

10. Bard 7: We’re stopping back in bard real quick to grab your fourth level spell, Hallucinatory Terrain. Somehow you always bring the waterfront with you when you use your NP, and now you really can do that!

11. Sorcerer 4: Use this ASI to max out your Charisma for the best spells possible. Speaking of the best spells possible, you can cast True Strike now for advantage on an attack next turn! You can also cast Shadow Blade so you have a sword you can attack with. A cool, spooky sword that deals psychic damage and has advantage against targets in the dark. Yes, it took us half the build to get a sword, that’s what happens when you’re a cavalry class.

12. Sorcerer 5: Fifth level sorcerers are even better at skill checks now thanks to their Magical Guidance, using your sorcery points to reroll failed checks for, essentially, permanent advantage on whatever you do.

You can also cast Water Walk. Eventually your NP will involve actual water, so you’ll want to be prepared for that. Forcing your whole party to do the doggy paddle every time you want to cut loose isn’t a great look, be a team player here.

13. Sorcerer 6: Our last stop on the sorcerer train is sixth level, giving you an Elemental Affinity for fire. All your fire damage spells get your charisma added to their damage, and you can spend a sorcery point after casting one of them to gain resistance to fire damage for an hour. Always remember to apply sunscreen throughout the day. Now more than ever, that shit gets hot.

To take advantage of this new affinity, you can cast Melf’s Minute Meteors, launching chunks of those cannons off and firing a couple per turn at your enemies, dealing fire damage in a small area around their destination. Creatures have to make a dexterity save, and if they succeed they take half damage. Like scorching ray, these are multiple instances of fire damage, so add your charisma to each one.

14. Bard 8: Back in bard for good now! Use this ASI to bump up your Dexterity so you can start being good with a sword. Just in case that’s still not enough, you can cast Charm Monster now too. You have enough gravitas to bend the authors to your will, I’m sure you can handle a manticore or two.

15. Bard 9: Your Song of Rest grows to 1d8 now, but more importantly you get fifth level spells! Animate Objects is another way to build your car (we’re still 5 levels away from performance of creation building it) or to get your cannon bits into position.

16. Bard 10: Tenth level bards get another cantrip! Honestly, we probably should’ve gotten Mending earlier. Adventuring in an outfit where a single snapped string can completely remove your top isn’t a great idea. You also get Magical Secrets, giving you two spells from any spell list. Flame Blade gives you a more thematically appropriate weapon, and Fireball is a big boom you can fire off.

On top of that, you get another round of Expertise, doubling your proficiency in Performance and Persuasion.

You also get a bigger inspiration, letting you hand out d10s.

17. Bard 11: Eleventh level bards get sixth level spells, like Mass Suggestion. It’s like Suggestion, but for the masses.

18. Bard 12: Use this last ASI to bump up your Dexterity again for a higher AC and better swordplay.

19. Bard 13: Your song of rest increases to a d10 as well, and you get the seventh level spell of champions, Mirage Arcane! If you make an illusion you can really feel, is it still an illusion? Anyways, you can make your golden theater now and the ocean surrounding it, and it all lasts for 10 days!

20. Bard 14: Your capstone level of bard lets you hit a Creative Crescendo, creating up to five items at once when you use your Performance of Creation. One of those objects can be Huge, the rest all have to be Small or smaller. You also don’t have to worry about cost when making objects, so that car is finally within reach! 

You also get Magical Secrets again for two more spells. Prismatic Spray gives your golden theater some big ass cannons, creating a 60′ cone of light that deals different kinds of damage and effects. You also get Tenser’s Transformation, turning you from a full caster class into a proper fighter once more. You get temporary HP, permanent advantage on weapon attacks, you deal extra force damage, gain proficiency with all weapons as well as strength and constitution saves, and you can attack twice per action. The downsides are you can’t cast spells and after it ends you have to make a constitution save afterwards to prevent exhaustion, but I think it’s appropriate that we finally gave Nero those migraines she’s always complaining about.

Pros:

As usual, nero’s build is pretty adaptable, with a little bit of everything to help out any dedicated role in the party. She has healing, dps spells, utility, social graces, pretty much all skill checks, and also literally the ability to make whatever item she might need in a given situation.

Tenser’s Transformation is meant to turn wizards into melee fighters, and you’re (more or less) a bard. With almost 200 HP thanks to this spell and the ability to make your own armory, you can turn yourself into a terrifying war god practically at will.

Elemental Affinity can be really scary if you game the system right. Max out a casting of scorching ray to deal 20d6+50 damage to a single target. That’s better than a 9th level fireball. It also gives resistance to one of the most common damage types!

Cons:

Fire is one of the most common damage types, so it’s also one of the most common resistances. You have other stuff to fall back on, but it’ll put a crimp in your style if you go up against fire elementals. Or water elementals. Or fiends. Or- you get the picture.

We don’t improve on physical stats until level 14, which means you’ll be stuck with an AC of 15 for a majority of the game, and your sword skills won’t be that useful until very late in the campaign.

The big moment where the build really comes together as Nero is around level 19-20, meaning most players will never actually reach that point. Sorry guys, Nero is a luxury few can afford.

[raysofcrosby]

28 & 42 with matty please 🥺

28. “how drunk was i?” + 42. “stop being so cute” w/ matty tkachuk

“Could you please drive slower,” you groaned, pressing your head against the cold window. “Or at least try and not hit curbs. It’s a miracle the state of Missouri granted you a drivers license.”

“It’s not my fault you decided to do a shots contest with Sam,” Matt laughed, reaching out the bottle of pedialyte to you and nudging you with the end of it.

“I was defending your honor,” you mumbled, grabbing the bottle from him and opening it, closing your eyes as you took a sip.

“My honor didn’t need defending, thank you. Besides, that’s his big party trick.” Matt took the bottle back from you and put it down in the cup holder. “Go after the newbie, challenge whoever they came with to a shots contest, add in a wager and boom, hook line and sinker. Newbie gets wasted and Sam gets richer.”

“You could’ve warned me,” you sighed, shutting your eyes tight to hopefully relieve the slight headache.

“I did and totally got shit for it by the way because it’s a huge party foul,” he laughed. “But you were already buzzed from pre-gaming and brushed me off. ‘Don’t worry, Matty. I’ve got this,’ I believe is what you said.”

“Well now I don’t want to go to this team barbecue,” you said, sitting up and turning towards him with a pout on your face. “I probably made a fool of myself and they all think that I’m stupid or easy or something.”

“Nah,” he replied, shaking his head as he came to a stop outside of a beautiful two-story craftsman style home. “It’s his thing, think of it as an initiation of sorts. Besides, no one else takes it up because they know he holds his alcohol like a camel holds water. Everyone’s been in your shoes before.”

“Whatever you say,” you sighed, taking off your seatbelt and getting out of the car. “At least I didn’t make a fool of myself then.”

“Well,” he sang, nodding his head from side to side. “I wouldn’t say that you didn’t necessarily...do that.”

You stared at him, holding onto the plate of cookies the two of you made earlier this morning as he walked beside you. “What do you mean, necessarily?”

“Come on, we’re running late.” He said, nudging your lower back as the two of you walked towards the front door of the Giordano’s home.

“You tell me right now Matthew Tkachuk,” you demanded, standing on the front porch as he rang the doorbell. “Tell me right now or I’ll call–”

“Matt, Y/N,” Gio smiled, looking relaxed in board shorts and a tank top. “Come on in, everyone’s out back.”

“Thanks, man.” Matt smiled, greeting Gio with a broshake before leading you through the house, raising an eyebrow at you as he smirked, knowing damn well he got out of your threat.

You’d known Matt and his family since forever, really. They moved across the street when Keith had gotten traded to the St. Louis Blues and your Mom was thrilled that there were two kids your age  moving right across the street, practically giving you instant friends. Matt was a year older than you, Brady a year younger which was perfect. And an instant friendship is what it was. You grew close with the two Tkachuk brothers and Taryn too once she came along.

Family summer barbecues, invites to the Tkachuk’s lake house, carpooling throughout elementary school, movie nights on the weekends when there weren’t hockey games, watching Keith play from the family box, teaming up with Brady against Matt in any pick-up game and when Matt went to Charminade instead of the public middle school like you did, he was at the receiving end of the chirping lessons and notes you’d picked up from Brady and Keith.

It sucked when he decided to go off and join the USHL sophomore year of high school, ending up all the way in Michigan at the USNTDP for the remainder of your high school careers, but that just made the summers all that better. The two of you would spend the three months catching up on the others’ lives– friendships, drama, hockey, relationships– and then he’d go off again for another nine months and come back and you’d do it all again. And that never changed once he went off to the OHL. Besides his family, you were the first person he told about choosing to go for the draft and were even invited alongside the Tkachuk clan, sitting beside Brady when you heard his name called as the sixth overall pick. And sitting next to Matthew two years later when Brady got drafted fourth overall.

He went off to Calgary and you went to Mizzou, the two of you staying in touch over text messages, facetime calls, an occasional email when he felt like being a pest cause you didn’t respond to his text right away. And when the summer rolled around, you both returned back to your hometown and picked up right where you left off, like nothing had changed and nothing skipped a beat.

Until this past summer, when something did change.

••••

A late night in the Tkachuk’s driveway on Matt and Brady’s last night before they’d go back off to their respective training camps. Your two roommates from college had decided to fly in early from their respective states so the three of you could all arrive at school together that weekend. Matt and Brady had invited some of their high school friends over too, the group just sitting around a portable fire pit as you all mingled and laughed, sipping on the mixed drinks you guys had been making all night.

Which is exactly what led the group of twenty somethings to play what started out as a game of never have I ever but eventually turned into most likely to. By the time you all were in at least a couple of rounds, the mood was light and everyone was laughing.

“Most likely to…” Callie, your roommate, smiled as she looked around the circle. “Get a ‘special’ piercing.”

“Special piercing?” Brady asked, furrowing his eyebrows. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Like on your dick, dude,” Max, one of Matt’s friends chimed in, looking at Callie. “Or for girls, nipple piercings or…” his eyes dwindled down, the sexual tension between them had been high all night and no one could stand it.

“God, please just get a room and thump it out already,” Tori, your other roommate replied, rolling her eyes as she pointed at Callie. “My votes for her.”

“Same,” you smiled, pointing at Callie.

“You guys are cheaters! You were there with me!” She groaned, shaking her head as the four boys followed suit and pointed at her, making her the one who had to drink.

“Shouldn’t have asked such a dumb question then.” You smiled, shrugging your shoulders.

“Fine, Tori?” She leaned over to tori and whispered, the two of them looking at you with smiles.

“Okay, most likely to..” Tori’s gaze settled on you as she raised her cup. “Fall in love with their best friend?”

Immediately, you felt your cheats get hot as you watched the two of them point at you. It only got worse when you saw both Max and Trevor pointing at Matt, who looked just as embarrassed.

Brady laughed, resting his cup between his legs as he used both hands to point at the two of you. “I love this game.”

“Oh fuck off, all of you,” You said, flipping them off as you and Matt both took sips of your drinks, not even daring to look at the other.

“No, no, I think I’d love to explore this one,” Trevor smiled, nodding at Matt. “Clearly since both friend groups and Brady voted for the both of you, there’s gotta be something there.”

“Or you’re all just a bunch of drunk assholes,” Matt replied, shaking his head. “Just because I’m a guy and she’s a girl, doesn’t mean we can’t be platonic best friends.”

“There’s nothing platonic about the sex eyes you guys give each other when the other isn’t looking, Matt.” Max laughed, patting his shoulder.

“I suggest a new game,” Tori smiled, raising her hand. “Seven minutes in heaven and the first two to go are Matt,” she pointed at Matt and then turned to you. “And Y/N. All in favor?”

Everyone raised their hands and you wanted to sink into your chair and disappear. “Maybe it’ll eas the sexual tension that’s been building since 9th grade.” Brady laughed, shoving Matt out of his chair.

“This is stupid,” you said, shaking your head as Trevor got up behind you and nudged you out of your chair, Tori grabbing both yours and Matt’s hands and dragging you over to the garage. “Come on–”

“Inside, seven minutes,” She smiled, nodding at Matt to enter the garage code.

He rolled his eyes and did as she said, the door slowly opening to reveal Matt’s old dodge sedan he got for his 16th birthday. “Let me guess, lights on so you guys can creep in through the windows and get off?”

“Oh no, lights off,” Tori smiled, nudging you both into the garage. “It’s not our business what the two of you get up to. But trust me, I’ve seen Y/N come back from plenty of make-out sessions and shes easy to read, so I’ll know if the two of you are lying.”

She pressed the code Matt had done and waved as the door closed between you, leaving you and Matt in the dark. He sighed and pulled out his phone, turning of the flashlight as you stood there. “We don’t have to do this, Y/N.”

“She wasn’t lying when she said she’ll know, Matt.” You sighed, shaking your head. “She’s like a freaking psychic or something I don’t know.”

He laughed, nudging you to the car. “Well, we can at least sit in the car instead of standing by the door. Cobwebs, you know?”

You agreed and the two of you walked towards his car, Matt opening the door and getting inside. “The fact that you don’t lock your car in the garage is concerning,” you laughed, closing the door behind you as he did the same.

“It’s a safe neighborhood.” He replied, shrugging. “So...that was interesting...the game.”

“Or our friends are assholes,” you laughed.

“That too.”

It’s not like you’d never wanted to kiss him before, because you had. For the entirety of junior high, you’d dreamt of Matt being your first kiss, but that went to Trevor during a game of truth or dare at his own 13th birthday party. Besides that crushing defeat, Matt never showed any interest in you like that. You never caught his gaze lingering on yours or him taking a double look at you when you were even in your hottest bathing suit at the lake. As much as you hated it, to him it was like you were one of the guys. Which is why it was even more embarrassing that Trevor and Max had claimed Matt was most likely to fall in love with his best friend.

Because that was you and you were more than sure he still pictured you in your tomboy phase.

“I’m never going to hear the end of this,” you sighed, resting your head back. “They’ll bring it up at every party, watch.”

“Why? Because we didn’t wildly make out in the garage?” He laughed, looking over at you only to see that you weren’t laughing. “Oh shit, you’re serious.”

“Dead serious.” You replied, shrugging your shoulders. “Oh well it’s senior year, I can take it.”

“What if you don’t have to?” He asked, shrugging. “I’ll kiss you if it means you won’t get tormented.”

“Wow, maybe don’t act like kissing me is such an inconvenience, Matty,” you laughed, rolling your eyes.

“You’re dramatic.”

“You’re mean.”

“How am I mean?” He laughed, leaning onto the center console.

“Because you made it sound like kissing me was a chore!” You huffed, rolling your eyes again. “Which, by the way it isn’t because I am a great–”

His mouth was on yours before you could finish your sentence. The moment you melted into the kiss, his hand came up and cupped the side of your face as you parted your lips slightly, allowing his tongue to brush against yours. And before you could even get your body to move over the center console, there was a knock on the garage door.

••••

You’d kissed quite a few people in your time at college and even before. Boys, girls, the few short term boyfriends you had– but nothing ever made your stomach twist into the knots that kissing Matt did. And since then, you hadn’t been able to get it out of your head...but your friendship stayed the same.

Spring Break, Matt asked if you wanted to come up and stay with him since Calgary weren’t on the road for the week you’d be there and you took him up on it. Finally excited to meet his teammates and friends he’d spent so much time telling you about and talking about. Part of you came under false pretenses, though. Sure, you wanted to spend time with Matt, but you also wanted to talk to him and ask him about that kiss...something you could never manage to do over the phone. But four days here and you hadn’t mustered up the courage to do so.

Which meant you only had three days left to do it or else you’d have to wait until the summer when he came home– which was pure torture.

“Well if it isn’t my girlfriend!” Sam smiled, standing at the edge of the pool with Jacob next to him.

“I’m sorry, what?” You laughed, placing the cookies down onto the food table as Matt walked beside you. “Please tell me he’s kidding.”

“I told you that you didn’t not totally act a fool,” Matt replied, rolling his eyes.

You looked at Sam and stomped over, poking his chest. “I want my $10 back. I know your party trick.”

“Sorry, babe.” Sam smiled, shrugging his shoulders. “A bets a bet. Which speaking of,” he looked over your shoulder where Matt was standing and then back at you. “We need to talk about last night.”

You looked towards Jacob, frowning. “Are you sure I’m not dating you instead?”

Jacob laughed. “Unfortunately, not.”

Sam rolled his eyes and held your hand, walking you away towards the Giordano’s back deck. “Okay, in all seriousness...are we playing it up today or not?”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you shook your head. “Playing what up?”

He exhaled, shaking his head. “We were going to fake it today, being into each other to make Matt jealous so he’ll make a move.”

“I’m sorry, what?” You blinked at him in shock before laughing. “How drunk was I?”

“Drunk enough to where you told me how you’ve been in love with Matt since junior high and that the two of you kissed this summer and it was,” he cleared his throat, smiling at you. “The best damn kiss of my entire life, I swear it made me we–’”

You gasped, smacking his shoulder. “Stop, no I didn’t.”

“But you did, babe. So, I agreed to make Matt jealous, which shouldn’t be too hard because he doesn’t seem all that pleased that we’re standing over here talking.”

Sure enough, you looked over your shoulder to see Matt frowning as he talked to Jacob, his eyes moving away from you and Sam. You looked back at Sam, crossing your arms. “You don’t think I’m overthinking it?”

“Please, do you know how excited we all were when he told us you were spending the week with him?” Sam laughed, taking a sip from his cup. “Everyone knows he’s practically in love with you and we’ve all been waiting for him to make a move. So if this is what does it, I’m game.”

“Okay, let’s do it.” You smiled, shaking his hand.

You and Sam spent the better half of the day together, laughing and getting to know each other. He was a pretty nice guy and you could understand why him and Matt were close. Matt stayed nearby the entire time and sometimes it was like he was eavesdropping on your conversations. Sam made sure to throw in some flirty banter during a fun game of volleyball in the pool and kanjam with Jacob and Elias.

But it wasn’t until you were playing with Gio’s daughter at one of the kids table where she was drawing you a picture. You were helping her pick out what glitter pens and markers to use when Matt came over, tapping you on the shoulder. “Can we talk?” He asked, looking at the pool.

You looked over to see Sam with Jacob, a smirk on his face as he sent you a knowing wink. You looked back at Matt and nodded. “Sure,” before turning back to Gio’s daughter and telling her you’d be back.

Matt walked ahead of you the entire time as he lead you towards where you and Sam had met up earlier, only this time he stopped around the side of the porch, leaning against it as he took a sip of his drink. “You can’t do that.”

“Do what?” You laughed, crossing your arms. “Sit with a little girl and help her draw a picture.”

“No, yes...ugh,” he groaned, leaning his head back. “Just...don’t do it, okay?”

You furrowed your brows, shaking your head. “I don’t understand, Matt.”

“You with kids!” He huffed, motioning back to the pool. “It’s cute and you’re cute and damn it, Y/N, stop being so cute! It’s giving me thoughts of you with kids and you having kids and you can’t have kids with Sam, okay?” 

“Is this about me and Sam?” You laughed, pointing towards the pool. “Because it was all a show, Matt. Sam and I aren’t dating and we’re not anything, it was just a joke.”

“Oh,” he paused, his cheeks turning red. “Okay, that’s good.”

“It is?”

“Yeah,” he placed his cup on the edge of the porch behind him and reached out, grabbing your waist and pulling you into him. “Cause then he won’t be mad if I do this.”

His hands moved up to cup your face before he pressed his mouth to yours, the scruff scratching against your chin as you pushed yourself further into him, wrapping your arms around his waist and letting your hands travel up his back. Before you could deepen the kiss, he pulled back and sighed. “I’ve been wanting to do that again ever since–”

“This summer,” you sighed, nodding your head. “Yeah, me too.”

You kissed him again, feeling him smile against your lips as his hands moved back and tangled themselves in your hair. Matt pulled back again, looking down beside you and raising his eyebrows. You looked down to see Gio’s daughter standing there, a smile on her face. “Sam told me to give this to you.”

She held up the piece of paper and once Matt took it, she ran off giggling. He looked at it and laughed, rolling his eyes before turning it around to face you. The glitter additions belonged to her, but the two kissing figures sitting in a tree...did not. Especially since Sam’s sloppy handwriting was tucked in the corner. The two of you looked back over at the pool to see Sam smiling at the art table, waving.

Matt rolled his eyes and looked back at you, brushing his thumb against your cheek. “Any way I can convince you to go on a date with me before you leave?”

“I think I can fit that into my schedule.”

[fluffymisha97]

Baby Rose

Summary: Reader and Chris had a little baby girl. But not everything is going that well, you're both trying to navigate life as new parents.

You were desperately trying to get your 3 month old baby to sleep. But that wasn't happening anytime soon. She just kept crying and crying. You felt like the worst mother ever. You couldn't even comfort your own child. You tried everything that you could think of.

You were bouncing her slightly while singing every lullaby you knew. Nothing worked. Dodger was on floor in the nursery looking at you two. After an hour of non stop wailing, the dog ran elsewhere. You didn't blame him. You went to get your phone to text Chris.

You kept bouncing Rose on your hip while she cried at the top of her lungs. You tried calling him but it went straight to voice mail. He was supposed to be home by now.

"Oh I know, I know baby. Daddy isn't home yet. It's okay we can do this. He'll be home soon."

Rose got a bit quiet at the mention of Chris. But she was still unhappy. You tried to put her in the stroller and walk around the house but that only seemed to make it worse. By now you had called Chris three times and still no answer.

You could feel your own tears forming and a lump caught in your throat. You even considered calling your mom for help but it wasn't like she was the most maternal person you knew. So instead you called Chris's mom. Lisa answered almost immediately.

"Hi Lisa, sorry for calling you so late but I just..."

You couldn't help but let out a sob.

"Sweetheart, what's going on? Talk to me."

You couldn't find the words and was borderline hyperventilating. It felt as if you couldn't breathe.

"Come on Y/N sweetie you gotta breathe. Take deep breath. We can do it together. Listen to my breathing and try to match it... That's so good, hun you're doing great."

You could feel yourself calming down from each breath you took. 

"I don't know what to do. Rose has been crying for hours now and I can't get her to stop. I tried singing, the swaddling, rocking her, feeding, changing... Nothing helps. I CAN'T do it. I'm a horrible mom. And I'm all alone. Chris isn't answering his phone and I don't know what to do. And I can't do it by myself."

"Sweetheart listen to me. You're a good mother and I know that because I've seen it. Okay, all of this is still new and you guys are getting the hang of it. I picked up most things along the way. I was nervous and scared each time but it takes time."

You and Lisa talked for a little bit and you had never been more thankful for her. She knew exactly what to say. You had grown closer to Lisa after the birth. The three of you had stayed at his family home for a month or so after Rose was born. Lisa had been such a great help.

Lisa had offered to come over to help you seeing as she only lived half an hour away. But you being you didn't want to burden her any further. The two hung up then phone and you went back to your daughter that were still crying.

Not long after did you hear a door open. You thought it was Chris but when you turned around you came face to face with Lisa.

You could almost cry all over. You had never felt more relieved, she walked over and hugged both you and Rose. She quietly took Rose from you and sat in the rocking chair and started humming a tune. You had never been more thankful for Lisa.

You tiptoed out of the nursery and went down to the living room. A little while later, Lisa emerged from upstairs and went to sit with you. You then poured out your heart to her and she listened. Each time Rose got a bit fussy, Lisa went to see her. She offered to spend the night so that you could rest.

About two hours later Chris came home. Dodger went to greet him at the door and you had stayed glued to the couch of exhaustion. Several days of insufficient sleep was catching up with you.

Chris went to get a beer and sat down next to you. Chris wrapped up an arm around you and you automatically leaned into his touch.

"Hey. Where were you?"

"After working on game plan for ASP, Mark invited us to stay for a beer afterwards."

You could feel your body boiling with anger now despite the exhaustion. You turned your head and glared at him before standing up.

"So I'm home alone with your baby while you're out drinking beer with your buddies"

"Hey, why are you getting upset? You make it sound like that's the only thing that I've been doing."

"Oh I'm so sorry honey. That was inconsiderate of me. You know what else is inconsiderate, you leaving me all alone with Rose when we had a deal."

"I'm sorry but one of us has to keep working towards a normal every day like. I'm working my ass off trying to get things ready for the big launch of ASP."

"I do understand that Chris. But I recall you saying before Rose was born, that you would still help me and that we would figure things out. But here I am all alone in this. Even when you're home it's like you're not here."

Chris was quiet for a while and didn't really know what to say. You threw your hands in the air and went to go upstairs.

"I'm going to bed now and I would prefer it if you slept on the couch seeing how the guest room is occupied."

He was about to ask you who was using the guest room but kept his mouth shut. Chris watched as you walked upstairs with Dodger hot on your heels. Chris turned on the TV and sipped his beer but he couldn't shake was you'd just said.

Chris had done as you had told him and spent the night on the couch. He could feel his back aching. He then caught the scent of freshly brewed coffee and followed the smell and found his mother working her way around the kitchen.

"Hey... Ma. What are you doing here?"

"Don't you 'Ma me' Christopher Robert Evans. I'm here because your girlfriend needs you. Y/N can't do all of this alone. She and that little baby needs you to step up."

"Ma, I was only a few hours late last night. And apparently she had you around to help out. I don't get why she got so upset. It was just a one time thing."

"Chris, honey that's just plain dumb. Because this hasn't been a one time thing. You're leaving her all alone and coming and going as you please. You don't see Y/N do that, do you? I know that ASP and your other projects has been a handful and I'm truly proud of you for doing something you're so passionate about. But as your mother I am compelled to say when you're acting like a idiot. If you don't start to prioritize better, then I fear Y/N isn't going to stick around in the long run."

"What am I supposed to do? Can you just... "

"Chris, you have to figure this out for yourself. But trust me if things aren't going to change. You're going to risk losing them both and I know that you don't want that. Chris, be the dad that you're meant to be."

Chris stayed for a while in the living room after his talk with his mother thinking about she'd just said. Chris watched as Lisa went upstairs to say bye to his daughter and girlfriend. Chris went up to stairs and hugged his mom as she was leaving. She gently patted his cheek confident that her son would to the right thing.

Chris could her your voice from the hallway. You were humming a tune as you changed Rose's diaper. The baby giggled and was flailing her small chubby arms in the air. She was just the cutest baby in the while wide world. Rose had her dad's eyes but your lille button nose. When you were done you picked up Rose to go downstairs.

You came face to face with Chris who had been watching from the doorway. Chris always had a very telling face. You knew that he felt bad but it wasn't enough. You marched straight past Chris and went downstairs where you put Rose on her playmat. You went to the kitchen to prepare yourself some breakfast and get Rose's food ready. You could feel Chris's eyes in the back of your head.

Rose was babbling while trying to reach some of her toys. She was doing a little more every day. Dodger came over and laid down next to Rose. Rose rolled bit over to try and pet the dog with her uncoordinated grabby hands. Dodger didn't seem to mind at all.

You smiled at the sight but your smile fell as you saw Chris's sad expression. He felt like he missed it all. He hadn't even noticed how big of a psychical development she had gone through. He had been around of course but hadn't been paying good enough attention to what was happening.

Chris sat down on the couch and watched his beautiful daughter in disbelief. He had no one to blame but himself. This right here was something that he'd wanted for so long and now was missing out. You walked over to Chris and kneeled down in front of him.

"I can't believe how much that has happened and I didn't even notice. Y/N I'm really sorry."

Chris continued apologizing while saying there was no excuses for his behavior or actions. You cut him off.

"I know, Chris. But we have to find a better solution. I know that one of us has to work and everything. But there has to be a easier way for us all. Rose and I need you here too..."

"Yes. I'll figure something out. I’ll talk with Mark about finding something more fitting to our situation. I'll fix it. I promise."

Chris later watched as you fed Rose. His heart swelled from the sight, watching you and his daughter. He couldn't afford to miss out on anything else in you or Rose's lives. He couldn't bear it. He made a deal with Mark about working as much as possible from home. Chris loved you and Rose so much and he would do anything to make it work.

And on that day he had never been more thankful for knowing the two best mothers in the world. His mother Lisa, for calling him out in his BS. You, for having Rose's best interest at heart and for giving him a chance to be a better dad.

(An idea I got earlier today. NOT that I'm saying Chris would be a bad dad or anything. He’ll most likely be an amazing dad when the time comes.  This is strictly fiction - please don't hate me. BUT I have my doubt about this one being okay or not. 

There's probably some errors here and there and timeline might not fit) 🤷‍♀️😅

[sylvain-writes]

Unbroken (Mikey x Reader)

Rated: T Gender Neutral Reader, pre-relationship, angst, hurt/comfort, Mikey whump, brothers not coping well with stress/fear, victim blaming, affection, love confessions, friendship/love

Mikey's been injured beyond anything his family has experienced before, leaving his brothers terrified. While Donatello, Raphael, and Leonardo struggle with their own guilt and fear, you take over your dearest friend's medical care. for @brightlotusmoon

Tension pours from the Lair into the tunnels. You move quickly. 

Something had told you to bring your delivery of medical supplies early, but what you had chocked up to a gut-feeling now feels much more likely to have been a call from the energies that connect you to Michelangelo and his Father. That psychic pull flares as you draw near and there's no longer room for doubt.

Your messenger bag slips down your arm as you increase your pace. It catches on your elbow awkwardly as you carry the heavy cooler of sundry medicine vials, but you don’t let that slow you down. There’s panic in the air - anger and fear. Casey’s and Raphael’s voices echo through the space - another call for your attention. 

Casey urges Raphael to stop raving before he says something he’s going to regret. But his pleas are ignored. 

Raphael shouts over Casey’s shoulder from the tunnel into the infirmary. He spits accusations and threats at someone unseen. 

In plain clothes, but with all the authority of a Detective, Casey gives Raphael a final warning before pushing past his raging friend and stepping up to you.  He grabs the cooler and leads you into the infirmary, thanking god for your arrival.

“Donnie will be so glad you’re here.”

You would have come sooner had someone sent word. You’re about to say as much when Casey steps out of the way and the sight of Mikey laid up on a hospital bed leaves you speechless. Frozen. Donnie gives you a frightened look before his eyes drift to his quarreling brothers, then draws the curtain to block them out.

Raphael’s bellows behind your back, shocking you out of your stupor. “Ya shoulda been there!” 

Your heart leaps, thundering against your ribs. You turn around, breath caught in your throat wondering how on earth you could have prevented such a thing. But Raphael is rounding on Leo, not you, shoving his older brother square in the chest as he brings his face too close. 

“Ya shouldn’ta sent him away!"

Tension ripples up Raph's arms from his fists to his shoulders as he crowds Leo into a corner. "This is on you, Leo. If he don’t wake up- If he don’t... “ 

When words fail him, Raphael launches himself at his brother with a growl. 

Casey’s face twists into horror as Leo, outwardly stoic and calm, takes his brother on. 

In a quick series of grabs, Leo has Raphael twisted and pinned against the wall in seconds. Leo eyes him with a look of impatience and disappointment. “Walk it off, Raph.”

“Try’na get rid of me too, huh?” With his face pressed against the cement, Raphael grinds out his words through clenched teeth. 

Leo turns to Casey, as if he doesn’t have time for such an inconvenience as this. “Get him out of here. He’s making Don nervous." His grip on Raph lets up as he turns to face the curtain once more. "We’ve been hurt before. We heal. Everything is going to be fine.”

You've only caught a glimpse of Mikey's condition. But you've never seen Donatello so scared. You wonder who Leo is trying to convince.

Raphael seethes as Casey takes him by the arm, but he isn't forced out of the room. "Ain't been this bad. Never this fuckin' bad."  Raph's voice is hoarse from shouting and crying, but his words don’t seem directed at Leo anymore. As his disbelief turns from swears to prayers, you think you hear him making deals with god and the devil.

“Swear to god, bro,” Raph says, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor, “if you don’t wake up, man…” With his elbows on his knees, Raphael buries his face in his hands. 

Casey lays a hand on his friend's shoulder before the radio at his belt urges him topside. "I'm sorry," he says to the room. "I gotta..."

Raphael's head hangs lower, but he nods. 

Leo stands stoic - arms resting at his sides, ignoring Casey's words of departure, watching the drawn curtain. Blinking but not seeing. His breath is even enough for him to be attempting some form of meditation, and you think that’s for the best. But you wonder how long the quiet will last.

Casey tips his head toward the hospital bed. A small jerky movement that grabs your attention. You look at him, head spinning. “You gonna be OK with this?”

You glance over your shoulder to where the curtain hides Donnie and Mikey from view.  Slowly, you nod. Even before med school you were proficient at compartmentalizing. You can help Mikey without becoming overwhelmed by seeing your best friend in whatever condition he’s in. You just need to get in there, see what you’re working with.

“I’ll be alright,” you tell Casey and remind yourself.

You wave him off, draw back the curtain, and take a fortifying breath. 

At the head of the hospital bed, Donnie moves as if on autopilot. He's set a PICC line just under Mikey's shoulder and is starting a transfusion. He's talking himself through the steps, laying out his plans for what to do next. Even as you approach, he remains completely focused on his tasks.

His hands shake as he lifts a fresh bag of fluids to the IV stand. Careful as he tries to be, the bag slips from the hook and lands with a wet slap on the floor. 

You crouch down to help and lay a hand on his arm as he apologizes for this little hiccup in Mikey's care. 

Unshed tears cloud his vision.  He looks almost as pale as his brother lying on the bed. It's obvious he's doing the best he can, and you couldn't ask for more.

Donnie watches you easily hang the bag and open the line. He holds his breath as you properly take in the scene. “He shouldn’t have been out there alone,” he says quietly. It sounds like another apology.

From the edge of the curtained area, Leo parrots the same words. The way he says them, however, sounds like an accusation. 

“He knows better,” Leo continues, coming closer to Mikey's bedside. The more Leo speaks, the more life returns to his eyes. Fire heats Leo’s words. You suppose anger is easier to feel than fear. “What was he thinking?” 

From the floor, Raphael chokes on a sob. “You knew better. The fuck were you thinkin’, huh?” 

Leo widens his stance and rolls his shoulders back, ignoring his younger brother's latest outburst.

The monitor at Mikey’s bedside beeps, Mikey starts to convulse, and it’s easy to tune out everything else.

You and Leo struggle to hold Mikey still as Donnie checks the equipment.

Donnie adjusts the speed of the morphine drip, scanning Mikey's body and the monitor displays. His mouth is set in a hard line. His jaw ticks with how hard he's clenching his teeth to keep his lip from trembling. 

He wipes his eyes on the back of his wrist and pretends he's not close to tears seeing his only little brother injured beyond what any of them have ever faced. 

Even as their eldest brother works to restrain Mikey from further aggravating his injuries, Leo asks if it's really a good idea to increase the narcotics. "We don't want him dependent on that stuff." 

It was the last straw for Donatello. His resolve falters. He faces Leo with color high on his cheeks and opens his mouth to argue. But he sputters and fails to string together an explanation fit for Leo’s approval. Too much of his energy has been depleted by Mikey's care for Donnie to dumb down his course of treatment into terms Leo can understand. 

You place a hand on Donnie's shoulder and offer him a knowing look. 

"One thing at a time," you tell Leo with the calm authority of your medical expertise. "We get Mikey through this, first. We'll titrate him off the meds when he no longer needs them." 

Exhausted and exasperated, Donnie ducks his head and steps aside to let you take over. He watches you assess the work he's done. He holds his breath as you review the scans and x-rays he provides. 

There’s nothing for him to be ashamed of. His stitches are hasty, but they'll hold. The broken bones have been set properly. 

There's a pain in your chest as your brain switches the images in front of you from patient to Mikey to patient again. You know that unbiased detachment will serve you best in your decision making tonight, but the crease between your eyebrows twitches as you spend a second too long watching Mikey's eyelids flutter, hoping for them to open.

Mikey is barely conscious, groaning with every squirming movement but seemingly unable to keep still. 

The file Donnie's prepared lists a concussion on top of deep tissue bruising, stab wounds, broken bones, a dislocated knee, and a cracked plastron. Mikey's head is wrapped. Thick gauze pads the left side of his skull and dark bruises color his swollen face. With each injury your interest in the case, in the patient before you, grows more clinical. 

You mutter, more to yourself than to Donnie or anyone else, your review of what's been done and what still needs doing. Donatello nods along, keeping up and eager to learn even in the midst of the crisis. Perhaps especially due to the nature of this one. 

And after a few more minutes of tweaking the medications, your dear patient eases more deeply into sedation. 

You smooth your hand over the gauze above Mikey’s ear and allow yourself a breath of relief. His glassy eyes blink up at you, unfocused until you run the back of your fingers down the side of his face. 

Memories of all the times he’s called you ‘Angel’, the times it felt less like a place holder for ‘Dude’ and more like a pet name chosen specifically for you, poke and prod the edges of your mind until one memory rushes through.

You and Mikey sitting on the rooftops together. His feet dangling over the edge of the building, kicking out a rhythm as he percusses with his hands upon his thighs. You rocking forward and back as he listens with rapt attention to you talking about Med school: your residency, your hopes and dreams for advancing the field of neurobiology, and the sundry inbetween stuff that never feels like tangents when you're speaking with him. 

You’re lost in the memory of the night, of you and Mikey and endless possibilities, when Donatello gives your shoulder three taps and pulls you back to the present.

The hairs on your arms rise when Master Splinter arrives to check on Mikey's progress. You wish you could say it was his raw psionic power that gives you chills, or his virtuous presence that tears your attention from your patient. There's no compassion or concern flowing from him right now. And it's neither respect nor admiration you feel for him in this moment. 

Though Splinter approaches the bed, his energies remain rather distant. Cool. Complacent. He reaches out to Mikey through their psychic bond and nods in approval. "He will learn from this,” Sprinter says, voice a low, monotonous hum. “Grow stronger." He turns from his youngest with a clipped, "Humph," and moves to the corner of the room without offering a word of comfort to any of his sons. He sits to meditate, unperturbed by the scene.

As if taking a cue from their father's indifference, Leo and Raphael start up their squabble again. 

It's too loud. Too much. Reading Splinter's energy and watching Mikey's shrink from it like a kitten being scolded for mistaking wicker furniture for their scratch post tests your nerve, grates on your mind, and burrows under your skin. 

A year into your residency, and twice as long helping the Hamatos, you think you'd be able to handle anything. But you begin to get shaky. How Donatello worked so long with his brothers looking over his shoulder and arguing behind his back, you'll never know. 

Every now and then Splinter comments on the strength of Mikey's chi. He seems oblivious to the fact that his son was literally writhing in pain on this hospital bed moments ago. The harder Splinter insists on Mikey’s resilience and tenacity, the more you feel Mikey pulling in on himself, frightened to show his Father the truth of his condition. Protecting his family from his frailty and pain even as he lay nearly unconscious.

Meanwhile, Leonardo insists that this all could have been avoided if Mikey would have exercised some patience and common sense by not going up to the surface alone. 

“Where were you, anyway, Raph?" The unending feud cycles around and around. "You’re supposed to look out for him.”

When Leo starts apologizing on behalf of Raph's and Donnie's negligence, you think his younger brothers are going to snap. You make the call to get them all out, so you can focus on Mikey without worrying about playing referee.

Leo catches Splinter on the way out, making plans to meditate together through the night.

Before Donatello leaves, he pops by for a goodnight. “Get well quick, little bro,” he pleads, squeezing his arm and dropping a kiss upon the crown of his brother’s head.

Raphael does similarly, adding that they’re bedroom won't be the same tonight. Without Mikey's headphones hanging off the side of the bed, still playing music while his snores somehow ride the beat of each song, Raph won't get a wink of sleep. “Won’t sleep til you’re there buggin’ me again.”

Mikey responds with quiet murmurs that his brothers all but ignore. They're more accustomed to and comfortable with hearing their own voices than listening to their brother's pain.

With the room clear, it’s easier to hear Mikey’s mutterings for what they are. Though speaking through a fog of pain and anaesthetic, he’s not incoherent. 

Your heart sinks to realize he understands what's happening to him, that he’s likely heard everything that’s been said in the room. The shouting, the crying. The selfish demands on his suffering body. The detached sureness of his Father. 

So confident that all will be fine, Splinter hadn’t even laid a hand on Mikey or spared a shred of empathy before he had gone. 

You pay close attention to Mikey’s words, letting them inform your care. 

Mikey’s eyes peek through heavy lids, trying to follow you around the room. But when you’re at his side again, and your hand strokes his face, his eyes close.  He leans into your palm despite his bruised and fractured jaw. 

For a few minutes you remain just like this - cradling his face in your hands, watching him drift in the haze of sedation, feeling his energies ebb and flow from their hiding place in their search for the safety he’s always found with you.

“I’m here,” you assure him gently. “It’s only me.”

Your promise is enough for his energies to move free. 

Hushed sounds and quiet clicks of your tongue fill the space between you as you put Mikey’s mind at ease. Your fingers pitter-patter over his cheek bones and down the sides of his neck as you palpate for further injuries. They pass over his clavicle and shoulders as Mikey stutters a breath.  

A sling traps his arm against his chest, where his fingers tap the scute over his heart. It’s a small movement, perhaps one of the only movements he can safely make in his condition, and even then, it must be a challenge. For someone you’ve only seen lying this still during his most depressive episodes, you think being incapacitated thusly must be torture.

His bandaged hand is heavy as you lift it. His fingers are cool under the press of your lips. They curl reflexively around yours and you kiss his hand again. 

“My best days are the ones I spend with you,” you whisper. It hurts to be burdening him with such a thing right now, but you also think it’s a truth he should hear sooner rather than later. 

Mikey’s chest rises and falls with staggered, labored breaths as you pet his chest. You talk and Mikey lets your voice wash over him. He leans his head back, relaxed and floaty, feeling like he's in a dream. And as he has so many times before, in dreams, Mikey tells you he loves you.

You bite your lips together as tears fill your eyes. For the first time tonight you think they’ll truly spill over. “Love you, too,” you say, and it doesn’t matter to you whether he means it romantically or as friends because the relationship you share and the love you’ve fostered for each other doesn’t need labels or constraints. 

When Mikey seems to be falling asleep you try to give him some space, but he doesn’t want you gone. His mind is quieter when you’re at his side. 

You rub his leg as you stand by his bed. Though your back is aching and your feet protest the constant bustle, you still haven’t been able to sit. 

“Tell me if you need anything,” you say in earnest. 

Despite your efforts to keep Mikey hydrated, his words are but a croak. “Just you.”

“Hm?” 

“You here. Could you-” Mikey’s eyes close and his hand turns palm up on the bed. Though he can’t muster the strength to lift his arm, his fingers curl and release inviting you back. You slide your hand into his and give it a light squeeze. 

“Stay,” he whispers weakly.

Sleepy, and still in pain despite the heavy opiate cocktail you and Donatello created for him, Mikey gives a weak tug on your hand and whimpers, begging you to understand what he needs.

You climb up, thankful for the extra wide bed, and rest against his wrapped plastron carefully. He buries his face into the top of your head. He nuzzles the hand you’ve raised to cup his cheek. The soft, sleepy sounds he makes drift in and out, sometimes words and sometimes just a hum. 

“...M no good,” Mikey mumbles into your hair, and you feel his breath hitch. “Not good enough.”

“Oh… no, baby,” you say, bracing yourself on the mattress and pushing up to look him in the eye. You stroke the lines of his brow ridge above his eyes, left and right, until his eyes flutter open. They shine with tears threatening to fall. “You’re always enough. Always been enough.”

He gives the slightest turn of his head, but his eyes stay locked on yours as if desperate to believe your words. His lip trembles. His tears slide down his cheeks.

“You’re perfect, sweetheart.” You continue to pet his face, but you let his tears fall freely, letting him know it’s alright to cry.

“For you?” Mikey asks, bordering on inaudible. But you hear him. The question rises from the depths of his being, calling out to you, and you answer the call with the truth of your soul.

“Always. Perfect for me. Forever perfect for me.”

[fiesta-freddie]

Hi hi! I just saw your dazai headcannons and i just came from a crying session by watching violet evergarden (im excited for the new movie tho) but could you do headcannons for chuuya, dazai and maybe one of your preferred character like they come home to you crying or maybe even sobbing at a movie and at first they were panicked when they heard you cry from outside and the rest is up to you. I hope you have a good day today and thank you! Also if i requested for too much please just ignore it-

You asked so you shall receive. I’m actually very in love with this idea! Also I chose Ranpo as the third character bc I love him so much

(I feel your pain with violet evergarden)

Osamu Dazai

You had just finished watching possibly one of the saddest movies of all time

You figured you’d probably shed a few tears here and there but by the end you were SOBBING

Like uncontrollably sobbing 

You had tissues piled around you and your eyes were red from a mix of rubbing them and tears pouring out of them

Unbeknownst to you Dazai was on his way home from the Agency

He was in a unusually happy mood, probably because he had other things on his mind, if you know what I mean...

But he stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he heard noises coming from the other side of the door

He could tell you were crying, but was it because someone had broken in and tried to hurt you? Or because you had fallen and hurt yourself?

Immediately he rushes in through the door, full badass mode, prepared to kill someone if it comes down to it.

But when he sees you, sitting on the couch, vulnerable and a crying mess his entire demeanor changes in an instant

Suddenly he goes from “who hurt my baby” to “Oh, my belladonna whats wrong?”

You explain to him why you were crying and he laughs only because he thinks its adorable

“I-I didn’t think I was go-going to cry but wh-when they separated at-at the end, I JUST COULDN’T T-TAKE IT.”

He would hold you close to his chest and stroke your hair, pecking small kisses on top of your hair until you stopped crying

He makes you a cup of tea and cleans up after you

He cuddles with you on the couch while you two watch something happier to cheer you up

Every few minutes he’s telling you how much he loves you and giving you lots of kisses

You end up falling asleep in his arms which is absolutely the cutest thing ever to him

He ends up carrying you to bed, trying his best not to wake you up

Chuuya Nakahara

You didn’t think it was even humanly possible to cry as much as you were right now

it just seemed like no matter how hard your tried the tears wouldn’t stop coming

Of course Chuuya came home at the worst time

He didn’t even hesitate when he heard you sobbing through the other side of the door

He rushed in so quickly he probably could’ve broken down the door if he wanted to

“Y/N! Whats wrong? Who hurt you? Why are you crying so much? Blink twice if your in danger!”

You didn’t say anything

You managed to look up at him through your blurry vison but you just kept crying

Once he actually takes a second to look around, he realizes what's going on 

Of course he rushes over to you quickly, wraps his trench coat around you and holds you close to him and all of his 5′3 self

You start to calm down but your breathing is still very shaky

Even though you aren’t hurt he can’t stand to see you cry the way you are

“I know I-Its dumb to cry over a m-movie, but It-its the way that h-he died!”

He reassures you that its not stupid

“Sweetie, its not dumb. It’s okay to cry over it”

He’s actually a big softie so he does start to cry a little when you explain the movie to him

He would stop at nothing to protect you even you aren’t psychically hurt

He’ll go full out mom mode on you

Lots of kisses because he claims that “kisses can fix any problem, even the small ones”

Gets you anything you want or need

Encourages you to drink wine because he “knows it will instantly make you feel better”

He won’t leave your side unless he absolutely has to

He makes sure to remind you of how much you mean to him and how much he absolutely loves you every few minutes 

Ranpo Edogawa

He’s Yokohamas greatest detective, so of course he already knew you were going to be crying your eyes out to a sad movie when he got home

Fully prepared for the situation, he made a stop at the convivence store beforehand

He picked up lots of snacks

Lots of candy

He made sure he got the ones he knew you especially liked

He even got you flowers too, just because he knew how much it always made you smile when you received them from him

Of course, because he already knows the situation, he doesn’t come bursting through the door

Instead he casually walks in, fully expecting to see you crying

But he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw just how much you were crying

It broke his heart to see you that sad

He drops everything and comes running into your arms

Even though it should probably be the other way around

“Y/N! Please don’t cry! I’m here now, its okay!”

He immediately showers you with lots of kisses all over your face

He buries his face into your neck once he’s done and you two just sit there in a comfortable silence for a few moments wrapped in each other arms

All of the sudden he gets up

“I almost forgot! I brought you home surprises! Here look, its a little teddy bear. See? Look how happy he is”

He’s so adorable, you love him so much

Later while you two are cuddling you ask him “Ranpo, I’m sure you already knew I was going to be crying once you got home, so why did you seem so surprised?”

He just kind of looks at you for a moment

“Well, as great as a detective as I am, not even I can always see how things are exactly going to play out.”

You hum in response and he pecks your lips

[popculturebuffet]

Scottrospective: Scott Pilgrim Vs the Universe or So Sad So Very Very Sad

Hello all you happy Scottaholics! And welcome back to Scottrospective, my 8 part look at Scott Pilgrim: all 6 volumes of the comic as well as the game and movie just in time for their respective 10th Anniversaries. If your just joining us or needa  quick refresher, here are links to the other four parts, in order: Precious Little Life, Vs The World (Comic), Infinite Sadness, and last month’s look at my favorite volume Gets It Together. And if that’s not enough to fill your belly with Scotty Goodness, hop over to my patreon, patreon.com/popculturebuffet.  There you’ll find reviews of all the content I didn’t have time for in the retrospective proper: Free Scott Pilgrim, The Wonderful World of Kim Pine, Monica Beetle, Style, and the bonus comic strips. It’s only a dollar to get access to the bonus reviews, and every bit you can give not only helps me make these reviews int he first place, but gets me closer to my stretch goals, the 25 and 30 dollar ones including looks at O’Malley’s Other Works: Lost At Sea and Seconds for the former and Snotgirl for the latter. 

But more than plugging my past and paid works, there’s something else far more important I need to get to before I get into this one: Thank You. No Seriously thank all of you who have been reading these, liking them. My Precious Little Life Review is easily one of the most liked things i’ve ever had on this blog, getting more viewers every day, and last month’s look at Gets it Together is STILL racking up likes. Given most of my non-duck reviews, paid for and on my own time, tend to be ignored half the time, this just warms my heart. It shows me two great things: that even after a decade Scott Pilgrim still has a huge following and given how young this platform tends to skew that it’s gaining more fans every day, and that people care about what I have to say about htis wonderful comic. It really touches me to both know my voice matters and that something I truly loved as a teen and still do now is STILL picking up more and more fans. What i’m saying is you guys are the best and I wouldn’t be doing these reviews without your support of my very hard work. These are some of the hardest reviews i’ve done at times, but seeing you all enjoy them makes it all worth it. 

As for the Volume itself there’s something I just gotta get off my chest right away: I HATED this volume when it came out. To understand why you have to consider my mental state: I was a teenager at the time, in my junior year of high school. Scott Pilgrim was my goddamn world: while I was picking up comics monthly at the time this was honestly the first north american comic I loved and obessed over and Scott and friends were like family to me. To an awkward teen who couldn’t talk to girls, struggled to keep the video game club a friend founded together in a way that in hindsight was wholly unecessary, and getting messed with due to my anger issues by friend, foe and frenemy alike, Scott was my port in the storm. A sunny version of Tornoto where I could retreat to to feel at peace.

So yeah this shattered the fuck out of that peace and was essentially one long slow motion kick to the balls to a younger me: Hollie gets derailed and horribly betrays Kim, runing my faviorite characters life and leading to her LEAVING, Scott and Ramona’s relationship crumbles, the band breaks up , and the volume ends with Gideon still gunning for our hero because life hadn’t punched him in the face enough for one month. I was livid, not stopping the series, obviously, but upset that everything i’d grown to care about was basically gone in a flash and couldn’t understand WHY O’Malley would fucking do this to me. This volume was also what kept me from re-reading the books for as long as I did as while the rest had fond memories all the ones I had of this one were pure misery.

But by the time i re-read it in december of last year I had two important things in my hands that helped me truly enjoy this one: The first was Volume 6 itself: knowing things would work out, that most of the bad stuff would be undone and in a truly awesome and satisfying way helped.

The other thing was the perspective that came with growing older: For one as an adult while I still like Scott as a character and find him intresting I no longer look up to him, nor put stock in his hapiness for his own. Sure I still care about characters and relate to some, but Bojack Horseman taught me the hard way you CAN’T put all your hopes in a character’s fate or them getting better for you to get better. 

The other is that while this volume again is pretty bleak after a while.. it’s also NECESSARY. Part of the series charm is i’ts realisim and a sad part of real life is people can drift apart from you, and things can change seemingly all at once. And things moving the way they do is necessary for the ending: every step and move here puts things where they need to be for the final chapter.  The pain our heroes go through is necessary so they can all grow.. except Stephen and Wallace. Stephen sucks and Wallace dosen’t need to change. He does need his own spinoff. But for Scott, Ramona and Kim the trials to come are necessary to make them into their best selves by series end. 

So join me under the cut as we get sad so very very sad, this is Scott Pilgrim vs the Universe. 

Precious Little Life:  We open with Scott’s Birthday! Hit it MC Chris!

But yes it’s septmeber and Scott is now 24 years old. Also Julie is there because presumibly Stephen dredged her out of her swamp for the evening despite Julie likely not wanting to be there and Scott sure a shell not wanting her there.  He vows that he will be the best 24 year old ever...... yeah let’s take a brief look into the future to see how that pans out

But we have a full volume and more metaphorical rakes to whack Scott in the face before that paticular one. 

A MONTH AND A FEW DAYS LATER

It’s the day of the dead, whoa ho way down in Tornoto. It’s hosted by Satan Herself, who dosen’t realize the holiday for hags was yesterday. This is for remembering the dead and rising out of the grave to go resuce your young wards by ramming a bunch of guys in butterfly costumes with your car or stealing your children’s kidneys.  This is Rat Girl’s new place, a fancy loft she and 3 other girls went on to throw the best parties beaause of course. She’s also a bitch to our hero and heroine because of course. 

But Scott soon has more important things to worry about: Ramona spots his next two opponents.. the twins hinted at last time, Kyle and Ken Kataynagi, Perfect Jerk and Handsome Asshat respectively.

Kyle and Ken are easily the least intresting of the 7 exes. With the other 4 so far having been a loveable ham, a stoic movie star whose suprisingly nice and dies via skateboard, a gloriously douchey and dumb psychic evil version of our much more loverable dumb douche with personal connections to both him and Ramona, and Roxy who was genuinely sympathetic, held back by her own selfishness and anger.. we get.. two smug assholes who use robots. Their not UNINTRESTING, the robots have cool designs and the fight with them is genuinely exciting.. but they just don’t have the charisma or personal factor. Their jsut two assholes ramona dated at the same time who happen to know more about her well guarded past than the other exes and are more liable to bring it up.. and even then it’s not anything new as Envy pulled similar tactics far more intrestingly in volume 3. THey don’t ruin the volume or anything, thier fine, but I just wish O’Malley had done more. Especially since he clealry had more intresting ideas with them: the sound battle we saw in the movie was an early draft of this and one early draft had Scott’s previously unseen brother Laurence working with them. I don’t knowWHY he scrapped that as it raises the stakes and makes this far more personal for Scott. Which at this point is what the exes SHOULD be: Todd and Roxy BOTH were more personal threats, Todd being his ex’s boyfriend and first love and Roxy being a genuine competior for Ramona. These guys again are just two douchers who show up because we need 7 douchers to complete the doucher circle. 

So the twins declare their not going to fight scott.. and instead send a tiny robot to fight him. Awww. But for this fight O”Malley does something really intresting and creative.. he dosen’t focus on it. No really Ken and Kyle are dicks to Ramona so Kim wisely gets her out of there, and the two have a casual talk on the balcony while Ramona smokes. It’s some fun banter between the two that both shows why their shipped to all hell. The two just play off each other really damn well. Though we also get Craphole asking people if they want to come watch Scott get beat up because the worst. 

Something important character stuff comes up though: As was shown last time at her rightful rage that Stephen HAD an opportunity to book a gig and kept refusing it for his fecking album, Kim is still fairly salty about the whole recording an album bullshit. The biggest part of it..

It��s something you really DON’T expect to here coming out of kim: that she really LIKED the band. But beneath the pillar of salt she puts out daily... these were her friends, this was getting to do something creative and passionate, and it was a break from the daily grind. Even if her job isn’t TERRIBLE, getting to watch movies and hang out with her best friend Clerks style.. it’s still a retail job and those still weigh on you.. though frankly i’d take one of those over food service but sadly tha’ts what i get most of the time. This was fun.. and Stephen ripped that away from her for his own selfish reasons. No one else in the band really cared about making an album.. if Stephen REALLY wanted to find a more professional band.. then he should’ve just told them so Scott and Kim could find someone else to do guitars for them. Instead he forced them into doing something they don’t want to do and refuses to actually play shows, which COULD help both perfect songs for the album version and get them new fans for said upcoming album and provide them recurring venues to SELL said album,  because he really just wants to be with Joseph and fuck anyone else. Stephen is really just an inhernetly selfish git and i’ll get more into that in a bit. But first Wallace has a text for Scott. 

Now I COULD have just skipped over this.. but I didn’t want to. Plus we dont’ se Wallace for a while in this story so i’m taking what I can get. 

So back to Stephen being a repugnant ass. I’ve been waiting for this scene for the entire retrospective. I”ve hinted at it, and largely blamed it for why I hate him so damn much. The time is nigh to explain WHY. 

Stephen is with Knives, as the two are close friends and such. Stephen expalins Sex Bomb-Omb isn’t playing because he and the personfication of bitchiness broke up. Which knives points out is for...

But it’s clear from context this was the LAST time. Why he still got invited I dunno, plot convience. So far so normal.. until Stephen picks up that Knives is STILL hung up on Scott. Which is understandable crushes can last a while but i’ts equally understandable that Stephen is utterly baffled by it. Which I get,  I didn’t make an entire tom lucitor retropsecitve because I liked that his relationship with Star ended with him stepping aside due to what the show thought was “true wuv” but what comes off instead as his self loathing casuing him to blame himself for a realtionship that’s crumbling for reasons that aren’t his fault. 

And his actions here are incredibly well meant: He bluntly gives Knives the wake up call she DOES need: Scott cheated on her, he dated her because she was easy to date, strung her along for a bit while seeing someone else, then dumped her with not one care for her well being. That is stuff she NEEDS to get into her head so she can move on. She needs to see him for what he IS and not for what she’s built him up as in her head. And while yeah his rant DOSNE’T take into account the fact Scott geninely tried to make up for his actions in volume 3, Stephen wasn’t there for that and Knives probbably didn’t tell him about it.  So from his point of view scott broke her heart and did nothing.. and evne IF he knew that, Scott still hasn’t tried to do anything since despite Knives still being obessed with him nor come clean to her or Ramona at any point. Scott deserves this call out and the consequences that come with it. 

So your probably wondering WHY I hate Stephen because of this scene when he’s you know, RIGHT. Well it’s simple: being right dosen’t save you from being a MASSIVE hypcorite. He’s railing on Scott for cheating and hurting someone.. when he cheated on Julie and would’ve hurt her if she had the capacity for human emotion, empathy, or self awarness. The ending of the last volume and how bad, even for them, their relationship was implied the hell out of it, with him nervous when she brings up being paranoid over knives.. as if he WAS cheating. on One Face just not with a teenage girl but a grown ass man who hates everyone as much as BLARARARGAGAG does. 

Not only that.. but he was with Julie for the SAME DAMN reasons Scott was with Knives: it was easy. Now I WILL grant Stephen some sympathy: he’s a queer man and as one myself, bi for the record, I GET how fucking hard it is to come to terms with that, that what you thought you were isn’t ENITRELY true or, if Stephen is gay and not bi or pan, ENIRELY FALSE. So I do have some care that it was hard for him to sort all this out. I do and that Jospeh could’ve seduced him or what not. We don’t have all the context here. But he STILL cheated at the end of the day instead of telling her he was queer until MONTHS later.  And why yes the fact I have to feel bad for JULIE does make it that much worse. And yes their relationsihp COULD simply be that toxic or she could’ve gaslit him, but it seemed more like their relationship was messy breakups and getting back together over and over. While Julie IS vile, she’s not a domestic abuser mental or physical as far as I can tell. She’s a bitch and their relatioship is unehlathy but there was no indication their relationship involved gaslighting or evne phsyical violence: it was just fucked from minute one. So yeah he stayed in an awful relationship beacuse it was easier than coming out, when he should’ve broken it off as soon as it was clear he and Joseph were actually going somewhere. Waiting while he figured out who he was is one thing, tha’ts fiar, but cheating on someone just because you don’t have the nerve to break it off with them when their genuinely awful to you and your only hurting them as much as they can be hurt by dragging this out... yeah that just makes you an ass. 

Another point of contention is that he NEVER called Scott out on this. Never. Not even after this scene. Never encouraged him to tell Ramona or apologize to Knives, again he didn’t know Scott already had tried that. Never gets on him.. he just ignores Scott’s shitty behavior like eveyrone else and unlike Kim, whose still got unresolved feelings and is at the very least clearly bothered by his shitty behavior, and Neil, whose young and thus like me likely looked up to Scott at the time, he dosen’t have an excuse other than “Well I don’t want to ruin our friendship by actually calling him out when he does something objectivionally awful.” Especially since Wallace DID actually take action: he didn’t break up the relationship or say anythign to Ramona, which is wrong... but he did tell scott flat out after his first date with Ramona to break up with Knives. And when Scott chickned out of that, Wallace gave him the ultimatium, may it live in empathy, to do so or he WOULD tell Ramona. And at least Wallace has a motive for not telling Ramona other than “I don’t want to risk my friendship with a guy I really don’t care about and think is shitty”. He wanted to see Scott recover from Envy, something Stephen never gave ONE. SHIT. ABOUT. He saw Ramona was good for him and knew telling her, while the RIGHT thing to do, would severely harm Scott, and by volume 4 leave him homeless. Plus Wallace frankly enabled him for some time anyway, letting him live at their place rent free and paying for all his food and frequently letting Scott steal his credit card. WIth Wallace at least while it’s not the RIGHT move, it’s understandable and complicated vs Stephen who really dosen’t seem to like or get along with Scott after volume 1, suddenly cares what happens to his relationship. 

And what proves this... is this little exchange that ends the conversation. 

Knives despite her issues, despite blinding herself to how Scott treated her, despite everything... thinks Ramona should know. And she’s right. And Stephen KNOWS THIS. He knows it was the right thing to do and just.. takes a swig instead of admitting he’s a fucking hypocrite or explaining himself in any way.  He NEVER cared about Ramona’s feelings or how this would effect her or saw her as important in any way shape or form. Kim at least clearly feels guilty. Wallace clearly is only doing so because it’s better for both her and Scott that their together and is a flawed human being. Stephen.. just dosen’t do so out of some masculine bullshit code of not ratting out your friend and his own cowardace. He clearly COULD go walk up to Ramona right now and tell her, but he won’t. And again I don’t buy he honeslty cares enough about Scott for their friendship to TRULY be enough of a factor to stop that. Fuck. Stephen. Stills. 

So Scott wins naturally, but is bummed there’s no reward.. but Stephen points out there’s tons of free food over yonder so he noms before he and Ramona leave. 

We get some cute domestic bits with Scott and ramona: Scott playing games on her phone all day, the two cooking dinner, and Scott admititng he hasn’t thought of envy at all. “I have you now”. Though through it there are some signs of unease: Scott finds a letter to Gideon, and Ramona asks about her hair and stares out into the window. Nice little hints that even before the big bomb abotu to drop she’s not at ease.. she loves Scott.. but it’s hard for her to let herself BE happy. It’s easy to wager she wasn’t for most of her life. 

Can’t Face Up

So next we find Sex Bomb-Omb working on the album. Or rather Stephen and Joseph are. Scott and Kim are praying for death but death won’t come and Kim wonders why the fuck this isn’t finished. Joseph wants her out of his house... forgetting that Kim lives in said house. 

Still his expressoin implies he’s going to do a murder on her if she stays in the room and since Drummers are hard to come by Stephen spirits them to kim’s room for a band meeting. Turns out they do have a gig but naturally Rosemary’s Baby booked it... and they haven’t practiced in months because Stephen’s a moron. He theorizes it’s Freddy’s Revenge, which is admitely probably valid though Kim can TELL something worse happened Stephen won’t cop to because he’s a piece of shit. I spent several paragraph’s establishing that. They try blaying and two sucktacular minutes i’ts clear their fucked sunday. 

So after a scene of Knives trying HARD to justify Scott’s actions and blame htem on Ramona, to no success, we get one of my faviorite parts of this book: Scott rambling on for god knows how long about the x-men while Ramona gets dressed and is presumibly barely listneing. 

I relate so hard to this it hurts. While not this era I wll GLADLY go on and on about X-Men and anything X-Adjacent at any goddamn opportunity and anyone who reads my blog on a regular basis and you know this. I need to tlak more x-men outside of my slowly failing New X-Men retrospective (Which is on the back burner because no one seeems to genuinely care after chapter one). If I did have a signifgant other, they would probably end up in a situation like this quite a lot and i’d have no shame about it. 

I also love this scene even more as while I DID love x-men at the time, I wasn’t quite the mega fan I was, nor as familiar with Claremont’s long, epic and often fucking weird in the special wonderful way only comics can run. Given I OWN over half his run at this point, that has changed. Though oddly not this part. So not only do I get Scott’s talking about x-men I Know what SPECIFICALLY. 

And for the unitatied, a quick explination of what the fuck Scott’s going on and on about: In the late 80′s, the x-men fought a reality warping malevolent trickster god named the Adversary. IN order to beat him their friend forget had to perform a cermony to lock his ass away that required willingly given life forces. The X-Men did REALLY fucking die.. but the Goddess Roma, daughter of Merlin and enemy of the advesary brought them back to life. With their deaths having been broadcast on live tv, and with tons of dangerous enemies at their heels, the X-Men choose to let the world continue to think they were dead so they could hit said enemies where it hurt.

SO this is where Scott’s story comes in:The X-Men’s first mission was clearing out the reavers, a bunch of racist cyborgs, from a ghost town which they took over as their base. As Scotty said they traveled all over the world, fought aliens, more racists, and then went to New York as it literally went ot hell. it’s a LOT and I haven’t read most of that era. I just know about it. I have read that last part though: the x-men were ambushed while wolveirne was away by said racist cyborgs so Psylocke shoved them through the siege perilous, a gate thingy romana gave them that would give them a new life and amnesia and such, leaving wolveirne to get crucified till Jubilee, who’d been hiding in their base gary busey style, freed him. The two would travel the world, find psylocke body swapped which is why she was asian for several decades, and get into general stuff for a few years real time till the X-Men slowly reunited. And you probbaly dind’t need to hear all of that but your life is better for knowing it. 

As you can tell Ramona’s discontent is mounting. And probably not because of Scott rambling about x-men. Last night he told her about the time Magneto beat them all because they stupidly rushed him one at a time then forced them into high tech chairs while a robotic nanny babbied them and then esecaped because shut up before fighting magneto, getting surrounded by lava and having beast ASSUME they were dead because fuck actually coming back and searching just in case like a rational human being because magma or no the x-men have surivived worse, including the depths of space, and restoring all of reality from scratch.  I may of just read those issues tonight. 

She procedes to make things worse for our hero as when he asks fo rher advice.. she reveals she dosen’t like his band.. and while she means nothing BY that, she’s nice about it, telling him his band sucks days before a sudden show where you guys eat a lot isn’t something you do. Wallace is naturally even less helpful and maybe his not liking the band is why we barely see him interact. Maybe he just figured Stepheen was on the fence sexuality wise but wasn’t willing to put up with Julie to test that. I dunno. 

So at the restraunt Stephen’s a dick, refusing to help Scott with his problems. WHich for once are legitamte as he worries abotu Ramona keeping secrets. He just wants to talk about hte band.. but 48 or something hours after this he has no real plan. 

Scott mopes to Kim about Ramona and she has some sage advice for him...

Also thing one and thing two are at the bar with a remote. This cannot end well... granted givne our heroes are not at all prepared and are playing two diffrent songs, this was never going to end well. 

And things only get worse for Scott in the bathroom.. he’s not there.. but his girlfriend and his ex are. Knives tries to work it out.. but Ramona being a bit short with her, which is fair given Knives tried to stab her a bunch a few months back and never apologized, leading to a quick fight.. but with Knives heart not in it this time and Ramona pissed and this time NOT confsued as to what the hell ihs going on, it ends with Ramona slamming knives into a wall... and Knives sadly revealing the truth to Ramona...

The scene hits like a truck with both devistated.. Ramona not having realized Scott with this shitty.. and Knives FINALLY accepting that he is. Finally letting her obession with him drop and realize what he was and what he did and let the full impact hit. The last part also hits hard “No One Else Would’ve Told You’.  It’s a sad hard truth and it’s CLEARLY something that hits both women hard.  For Knives it’s realizing Kim and Stephen, who she’s increidbly close to at this point, both don’t have the stomach to do the right thing, and thus hid this from her and Ramona. Stephen DID tell her.. but he still didn’t have the guts to tell RAMONA nor the actual care. It’s the realization the people she looked up to truly let her down and that she had to do what they couldn’t, even if it tore her apart to do it. For Ramona it’s realizing her closest friends outside of Scott could’ve told her and never did. No matter how close she’s gotten to Kim and Wallace, neither gave a fuck about her rights or her need to know. 

So Ramona is rattled and barely speaks while Scott has been fighting anothe rrobot and ends the gig accidnetly smashing his bass. Stephen is pissy with him and blames hi mfor runing the gig, which turned out to be a trap anyway complete with fliers. 

Ramona decides to gently throw him out as he forgot his keys while his other friends won’t house him leaving him with the one friend he has who dosen’t hate him right now. WALLACE!

The Glow:

So at Casa De Welles, Wallace has some buddy time, not making any bones about the fact Ramona clearly threw Scott out for the night and wearing a neat robe. Scott mopes about the fact he hasn’t met mobile whose apparenlty on the astral plane. I wonder if he has any buisness with Emma.. I mean the x-men did live in san fran sicsio but given decimation didn’t have many psychics. Might’ve been tryign to get another one. THey didn’t have a whole island that walks like a man yet.  And while Wallace wasn’t in much of a coaching mood last time he is willing to help. He couldn’t get bupkiss on the twins since Scott can’t even remember their names, but he did pull off a miracle. Despite their being a million Gideons in New York.. Wallace found THE Gideon. Granted all he got was his full name, Gideon Gordon Graves, and a few burry photos, one with Ramona confirming this is our douche, but given he had only a first name and an ex to work with this is some damn fine work. Wallace asks scott about his future with Ramona but he just.. has no earthly idea because of course he dosen’t. He hasn’t REALLY thought about what comes after beating the exes because he never thinks anything through. Interesting stuff The next day Scott meets up with Kim at No Account Video and we get our first, and I mean literally first, indiciation things are falling apart with her and Hollie. Scott wants to say hi, Kim refuses him and gives a smart ass comment when he asks if them being roomates isn’t working out. He wasn’t even being a dick it’s just clear SOMETHING bad’s going on she won’t talk about because she puts up walls around hrself on a GOOD day and this clearly isn’t one.

It gets worse when they stop by Stephen’s place only to find Neil whose both taken up a combination of smoking and moping in a dark room. Never a good sign. Nor is Stephen apparenlty being at band practice.. meaning either he lied to Neil about where he went.. or he already started the band we’ll see him with next volume and is already stabbing his friends in the back. There wasn’t much to like about the guy to BEGIN with, but his behavior just gets worse with every volume and it’s reached it’s apex here. The speech was shitty enough, I spent several paragraphs explaning why, but the rest of his behavior isn’t much better. He abandoned two people who were, for god knows what reason loyal to him and abandoned the band because of some bearded asshole probably encouraging him to. 

We also get some telling behavior on Kim’s part. Whlie she’s usually morose around Scott in the face of this both just hang out, it’s plesant. She even smiles when she asks if it’s going to be a regular occurance when he stays with her that night. Granted she brings back her frown soon after, but as has been clear her feelings for him never really went away entirely, and this is the closest the two have been in volumes, just enjoying each others company. It’s also telling that Scott trusts kim with a favor.

We see the favor the next page: Kim hangs out with Ramona.. and Scott marchs in completely on purpose soon after. Granted Kim probably didn’t know THIS was part of the plan, and it’s mildly stupid.. but it DOES show progress for Scott. Keep in mind his usual tactic is “avoid the fuck out of it and hope it goes away’ So ACTUALLY wanting to talk about things and find her again, and not doing it in a creepy way but simply drawing her out with a friend, shows SOME maturlity. It’s still not the most mature.. but with Ramona clearly not wanting him at their place, her work not having a set location as she just picks stuff up and drops it off (And even if she’s picking up packages at the post office we don’t know which one or if there’s multiple and even if we did scott sure as hel l does not), he was out of options. It also WORKS, with Ramona breaking her mopeynesss to laugh and Kim stunned it didn’t just piss her off further. 

So we find out what happened with Hollie when Scott brings up jason. She points out they were dating but... welllllllll

Yeah... as you could probably tell I do not like this plot point at all. For one thing we never really got to KNOW Jason, and with him and Hollie getting a little too cozy at the end of the last volume...

It’s clear his ONLY roll in the story was to be there so Hollie could betray Kim in some way. And look I get a LOT in this series happens while we’re not looking, ti’s part of it’s charm. Things not pausing for the side cast is a trope I enjoy: it allows some things to progress faster and allows for some intresting stories when the main cast catches up. Steven Unvierse and Ducktales both used this well as does Scott Pilgrim but all three weren’t immune to someitnes goofing up and taking it too far. 

This whole situation is that: Hollie is a character I got attached to: She had a great report with kim, they were really close and she offered her a place to stay when it was clear she was miserable with the four horseman of the bitchpocalypse she lived with. So while having her suddenly heel turn is realistic... it just feels thorughly unsatisfying. We do not see Hollie again after she’s sudeenly derailed, so we never get to see what she’s apparenlty REALLY like or get any explination why this happened. Suddenly Kim’s best friend is a douchebag even though it makes no sense for her character. Just because in real life people can turn out to be really shitty on a dime dosen’t mean it’s a neat thing to READ in a story and it feels like a waste of what was one of the series best side characters. And granted i’ve been through FAR worse treatment of side characters, trust me but this one still blows to this day and if there is a netflix adaptation this either needs to not happen or have actual depth. Seriously Netflix your adapting everything else, get on the bus already. 

Scott is GENUINELY apologetic, we’ve rarely seen him this nice but he genuinely feels bad for her.. and unlike Stephen’s thing it’s okay to feel shitty someone got cheated on even if you were a cheater in the past. As I said Stephen wasn’t wrong about how Scott treeted knives.. he just also was trying to take moral high ground which Knives proved he absolutely did not have in seconds.

This triggers Ramona’s glow, the squggly line thing that shows up over her head ocasoinally.. and while Ramona grills Scott... Kim just finally asks what the hells up with her head. Scott’s reaction is “OH good you guys see it too”. Kim does try to show it to ramona but it’s gone by then and she drops it for now and outside encourages her to come to Julie’s latest shitty party.. I mean their miserable but at least it gives thems omething to do

So we get another instalment of “Scott rambles about the X-Men” or New Mutants in this case as we’re talking about Magik, Aka Illyana Rasputin 

So for the long version: The X-Men were staying at a creepy temple that Magneto had been working out of beause the mansion was being repaired. Colossus, everyone’s favorite Russian and Deadpool co-star, had his kid sister Illyana with him as Arcade, a ginger maniac assasian whose gimmick is creating elaborate murder theme parks, kidnapped her in a plot to get the x-men to fight Dr. Doom for him. Given this was during the Cold War they coudln’t exactly take her back, so she stayed with the X-Men and her beloved big brother. 

So naturlaly the spooky temple decorated in Cthulu’s had a portal to hell in it and  an evil and genirc looking fucker named Belasco kidnapped her to a hell dimension known as Limbo>  the X-Men went after her as you’d expect and things got WEIRD as due to some complicated and weird time dialition stuff I sitll don’t quite understand there ended up being two copies of the x-men: ours who came in right after, and a second batch who stayed there for about 7-8 years and got warped by Bellsaco’s magic as he killed or changed most of them. As a result Storm became a sorcerer to fight back, Kitty Pryde became some sort of cat creature and Kurt became a creepy evil version of himself. Illyana stayed htere, learned magics from both storm and asshole, learned to fight from cat kitty, and eventually escaped after a lot of horrible bullshit, hardnered and with her soul scarred from it, now a teenager. She joined the New Mutants, the training class of x-men in the comics, soon after. She’s a member agian in present day, one of the great captains of Krakoa, and one of the two co-leaders of Krakoa’s younger mutants, i.e. 20 something to teens and kids. 

This is the best of the two scenes as the narrative , or at least Scott’s versions parallels Ramona’s own; Getting taken in by an evil man and feeling tainted by that. 

So at the party Ramona runs into Neil whose a dick about it and with some girl. She WAS going to be fleshed out more in the original draft but Brian ended up scrapping it for time, but does regret it. It’s here we get Neil’s face punchingly dickish comment that’s also a massive hint as to Stephen’s sexuality. 

Yeah even if Stephen’s been an UTTERLY shitty friend to him.. this was uncalled for even for the late 2000′s. What a prick. I do like the arc of Neil slowly falling apart though getting more and more bitter as his old friends abandoned him casually, especailly Stephen. While his comment was still HORRIBLY unwarranted even with Stephen being a dipshit. 

Speaking of assholes we get our last major with Julie who berates Scott for grabbing some booze and brings in the twist. I’m.. i’m not even bothering to give her an insluting and weird nickname. She’s still a HORRIBLE piece of shit, as she brought Scott’s enemies there to try and beat him to death for her own amusment and berated him for getting booze at a party she CLEARLY expected him to come to, but she’s ALMOST gone. Seriously after this she’s GONE for the volume and barely in the rest of the series. So i’d rather celebrate FINALLY having earned my freedom over worrying about her any more than i have to. Cue the music!

So with that Kyle.. or is it Ken. 

But the blonde one needles ramona, giving her her faviorite booze and telling her “this is all just temproary”

So Ramona gets all glowy.. and Kim gets her phone out....

The Universe Fights Back So in a random bedroom Ramona gives up the ghost: SHe DOES know what that is she just can’t tell Kim. Kim accepts it and they share some drinks. Scott, after beheading the douche bros latest science project, joins them and we get a lovely scene of the three drinking and bonding and geneuinely just having a good time. Though Kim DOES mention that she wants to go back to school.. This will naturally be very important. 

What’s more important is this scene is ENITRELY while I poly ship these three dum dums. I mean while part of thier hapiness here is their blasted out of hteir heads, it’s also just Kim’s wall sbeing down. She tells the two she loves them, and I think MEANS IT. Not to mention this...

Okay maybe it’s just the two of them but they also love Scott. And again I get htier VERY obviously drunk.. but given Kim and Ramona are clearly actively supressing any bi parts of themselves most of hte time this is telling. The fact Ramona asks kim to sleep in THIER bed, likely with them, is ALSO very telling and Kim only dosen’t because their using sub space. No really that’s the only reason this volume didn’t end VERY diffrently with the three of htem having a three way before the argument coming up.. and possibly fixing said argument by having kim to mediate. I mean I get Scott’s not a big part of this so if you don’t want to ship him with them and just leave them alone that’s fine, ut I like the idea of them as a throuple: they ballance each other out.. and frakly with Scott’s irresponsblity and Ramona’s emotoinal issues they need someone to call them b oth out in the relationship, while these two are two of the only three people in the work i’ve seen Kim take her walls down for. Not even Jason got that, but Jason was also a carboard cutout. 

Things take a turn from Kim.. from an almost threesome where she CLEARLY would be getting most of the attention... to two assholes kidnapping her. Now while I don’t like the twins that much their plan for the final act IS actually clever: their the first ones to think to actually use the people Scott cares about.. or anything resembling strategy really. Matt just charged int here, Lucas coudln’t give less of a fuck, Todd just used brute strength like a teletkentic juggernaught, and Roxy DID use some but it was less to actually fight scott and more to get into ramona’s pants again. The twins see Kim clearly still loves Scott, and that while he acts aloff to her sometimes she really is one of his best friends. No really, think about it. Wallace is his BEST friend.. but Kim sticks by him even when he’s shitty, calls him out when needed, and despite her grumpiness is the one who has the most faith in him out of ANYONE. It’s a large point of the volume: she dosen’t bother watching the fights.. because she belivies he’ll win simply because he’s Scott. That’s love right there. The kind of love that gets you kidnapped as part of an elaborate scheme but love nonetheless. 

So we then get the scene that’s been coming for five volumes... after having sex, Ramona confronts Scott. While Scott admits he didn’t cheat on her with knvies, the other way around, that’s not better. He admits he’s been trying to forget about it.. and she calls him a bad person. And that. .hits him hard. While he DESERVES scorn for what he did... as he puts it next he’s been trying to change for her. To BE better. And all she sees, and outright confirms is another evil ex in waiting with Scott DESPERATE to prove her wrong and wrongly thinking beating the next three exes will fix this. It’s a VERY hard sceen to watch as while Scott does deserve this.. it’s also hard not to feel bad for him too. It really sums up the character: He is a dick.. but he’s TRYING to be better. He WANTS to be, he just dosen’t know how. And MAN can I relate to that.  It dosen’t help that Ramona is clearly projecting her own insecurties about this lasting, about actually being happy and about this really being her life onto him, using this as an easy out after having a month of doubt. Yes Scott did something unbelivibely shitty.. but both are trying to take the easy way out of it instead of genuinely discussing why it’s shitty, what he did was wrong and geniuinely unpacking if this is the end. Ramona clearly wants to bail, and Scott clearly just wants to punch a few guys to make it better. Neither thing will work. They need to work thorugh their issues to work... but neither is capable of that right now. They both want to run from the problem. 

This volume is in part about Ramona herself.. and showcasing her OWN flaws.. and like Scott her biggest is that she runs. She wants to escape her past too and both assumed the other would be an easy fix, that by having a good partner they’d be better.. when really their both mildly shitty people who need to make peace with their past and repair the bridges they’ve burnt and flip off the ones not worht reparing instead of running from it all the time. But sadly before both can.. their just gonna run again. Because sometimes fixing yourself is just not that easy. 

So the next morning Scott’s heart stops fo ra second when Ramona is seemingly gone.. only for her to instead be in teh shower. But Scott gets a text telling him the twins have Kim and TRIES to tell Ramona.. but she’s in the shower. As a result she’s worried he just ran off... and makes a decision , her hair cut back down after growing it out this volume, a sign of her hapiness.. now gone. 

The Glow Part 2 So at an abandoned wherehouse the fight is on. The twins have the advantage in part because Scott is hung over.. something they take offense to.. even though they were THERE last night. He was at a party. They don’t know he teatotles. What state did they THINK he’d be in this morning?

We also find out their origin: as Scott correctly guessed at the end of last volume, Ramona dated them both at the same time and pit them against each other. They found out and vowed to always fight as one.. which means Scott is not only fighting two equally powerful opponents at once, but two who work as a perfct team and double hurricane kick him. They also mentally break him down, pointing out her previous job and how she’s a runner and she’s here to run from her past working for Gideon.

They aren’t but I already went into that so let’s get onto more pressing issues: Scott is not only hung over but now doubting himself and his dumbass plan to beat gideon and magically fix things, while Kim is naturally not happy about being stuck in a cage all night. And while at first she’s genuinely just grumpy as always as it becomes clear Scott has lost hope and the twins are going to win this one her expression is heartbreaking...

After EVERYTHING she still loves him and can’t bear to see him in so much pain... and can’t loose him.. so she gets desperate and claims Ramona texted him to give him hope. 

This is one of Kim’s definting moments, the other coming next month. When faced with the person she loves possibly dying.. she lies to him.. so he can surivive. So he can have hope and make it through this.. despite how much it’s CLEARLY KILLING HER to not only tell him someone else loves him but to clealry lie that person loves him, knowing it’ll hurt him more.. but knowing if she DOSEN’T he’ll die. It’s one of the most painful, heartbreaking and beautiful moments in the entire series. It’s why I said earlier while I don’t like the brothers their climactic fight his excellent.. because it is. Their verbal breaking down of Scott is hearbreaking and Kim’s sacrifice equally so. 

And before stomping them into coins SCott shows further growth.. by showing he CAN give off a good one liner now...

So Scott beats them and gets Kim out of the cage, worried about her.. but despite having a chance, Kim lets him get on his way to ramona and morsoely wlaks off... while ominously the sign points out this will soon be the Chaos Theater. There’s still one left to go. 

But.. it’s sadly not enough. While Scott gives her a heartfelt speech... even if he quotes the song as long as you love me... he dosen’t care who she is.. but Ramona does.. calling herself a bad person.. as she vanishes.... and I cry my eyes out again. God two really heartbreaking scenes in a row sweet jesus this volume will be the death of me.. and not just because i’ts taken so damn long to write this review. And on top of tha the looses the cat and ends up locked out. 

World of Ruin:

So yeah if you thought those bits weren’t easy.. it only gets roughter as we see Scott in the aftermath of the breakup. His dream world is now desolate and he’s alone. Now to his creidt as much shit as i’ve given him Stephen didn’t ENTIRELY abandon Scott: he put him up fo rth enight (though he kicks him out after work) and offers to take him to after work drinks. We also see a nice side of Scott’s intimdating boss as she offers her symaptheties at him crying... while he says it’s the onions... he’s transparenlty lying. 

Next up is Kim. Though she dosen’t have a couch because Hollie sold it.. which as dickish as she suddenly is it IS her couch as Kim points out.. so yeah Kim and Scott end up sleeping awkardly in the same bed facing away from each other.. and to add another emotional guttpunch at the worst possible time: She’s going back home. 

Stacey is even lesss helpful as SCott continues to ask about cats and is unsypantethic about her leaving despite you know,  him REALLY not being at the shit talking her stage yet bud. At least we do get to see Stacey in this one I genuinely forgot she was in it. 

So at Wallace’s he’s no help either pointing out she might be with someone else because he’s wallace and we meet a guy with Glases.. and in his bad state Scott assumes i’ts gideon. it’s not though. WE finally meet Mobile!

He’s exactly what wallace needs.. a fellow sarcastic asshole. 

So next up is Kim’s goodbye.. which once again is really emotinal..a nd not just because  my faviorite character is leaving and again, younger me didn’t know this wasn’t forever.. or that she’d be back for a rather huge role next time. But still it’s a damn good scene that shows how far Scott’s come...

While the first part is standard... the second is Scott realizing that she still had feelings for him, clearly given her actions during the fight, and he’d been a right dick this whole time never dealing with it or apolgoizing for his past. Granted he still has a way to go to REALLY apologize for it... but he’s trying and means it. And with her possibly never seeing again.. she needed that. Also her coat is damn cool. I’d say I want one like that btu i’d really prefer one like Scotts complete with x-men patch. Pax Krakoa bitches. 

We get a really nice scene after where we meet Scott’s parents! Their also really kind helping him get a new place and move on... and runs into another glasses guy. But this time it’s Laurence! Who he drop kicks.. and then gives a broken bass back to. Eh... i’ve seen worse relationship with siblings honestly. He didn’t murder scott’s friend or plunge a whole galaxy into war or try and murder his daughter. Other Scott’s weren’t so lucky. 

So after that awkardness SCott finds the note to gideon which is a break up letter... she never sent. However there’s something more pressing as he gets a call... and you can probably guess given his luck lately who that’s from. 

Eh it’s not that murderoius creep but another one. 

The end.. is in a few weeks.

Final Thoughts: 

As I said I hated Vs the Universe on first read but re-reading it with hindsight and maturity.. it’s damn good. It’s depressing as hell.. but the things it does need to happen to push scott into a bad enough place for the next volume to work, and are natural: Ramona and Kim leaving, The band  breaking up, Scott kicking his brother in the face.. all natural things. It hurts, this was a HARD one to write and I only feel the next one will be harder because it’s way longer with less slice of lifey stuff to skim through in my recapping. 

But it’s a damn good one, with fantastic art, really gripping scenes, x-men refrenes and a spotlight shone on my girl kim. Even it’s weak spots dont’ hurt it: the twins are only weak by comparison, and still work well enough for the story, pushing ramona into the bad mental place she needs to be for the story to work. Hollie’s thing DID Need to be written way fucking better... but it does push kim into leaving which is CRITICAL for next time. So they aren’t GREAT elements, but they work. The only real other problem I have is knives just.. vanishes after her scene outside of one bit with Stephen, but that I can understand as the book is pretty tightly packed and she gets a fitting sendoff next time anyway. All in all another amazing entry and the perfect warm up for one of the best endings in comics history

Next Time: I said it and I meant it: one of the best endings in comics history as Scott hits on some exes, fights himself and betters himself as he prepares for his finest hour! Will Ramona Come back? Will Kim? Will Julie?... to answer your questions yes yes, and god dammit. Thank you all for reading, see you at the next rainbow. 

[reidgraygubler]

not just a ghost hunter (raymond wadsworth/reader)

Title: Not Just A Ghost Hunter

Request: no

Pairing: Raymond/Gender-Neutral!Reader

Category: Fluff/Angst

Content Warning: seance, talks of demons and ghosts, swearing, bloody nose, mentions of dying and death, use of a Oujia board, mentions of the death of a parent

Word Count: 4,194

Summary: A ghost is haunting Reader’s home, so they get in contact with a close-by Ghost Hunter, Raymond Wadsworth. 

A/N: the final day of my 7days7fics!!! I had a lot of fun writing these this could be read as platonic, could be read as romantic, depends on how you want to read it :). Also I'm sorry if there’s ANY inaccuracies with this one, I just went off the knowledge that I knew… which is basically from buzzfeed unsolved… not a super trustworthy source… anyways… and lastly, my sister read this and she said she got spooked at some parts, so just… proceed with caution. thank you all so much for the support! i really do appreciate it. check out my masterlist!

My house isn’t haunted. It can’t be haunted. Right? I mean, all my life I’ve lived in houses that were normal. I’ve never lived in a haunted house. And if they were, I’m sure I’d remember that. Though, I did have an imaginary friend when I was a kid, and now that I think about it, I don’t think it was imaginary.

So, if my house isn’t haunted, can someone tell me why my reflection wasn’t my reflection… And was instead the face of a little girl…? She was pale and translucent and looked… lost. 

She looked lost until she jumped at me, causing me to fall back in my chair.

“What the fuck!” I jumped off the ground and looked back at the mirror. The little girl was gone now, and I was left staring at my own reflection. It was like nothing happened. Everything was… normal. 

I was quick as I finished getting ready for the day, trying hard to ignore anything… out of the ordinary. But it felt so hard when the room went from comfortable temperature to freezing cold. A shiver went down my spine, causing me to squeal.  

My house seriously can’t be haunted…. I just moved in! Maybe that was why the house was for sale. The previous owners were sick and tired of a creepy little girl wreaking havoc in their lives. Aren’t realtors supposed to disclose whether a house is haunted or not? Or was that just a myth?

I did what any other sane person would do: I ignored my problems and hoped they would go away on their own. That’s the right thing to do, right? I mean, I’ve done it before and those issues went away. 

It was hard. At first, it was the lights flickering on and off, then came the clattering from the attic, then I would find the chairs in weird spots or pulled out from the table… And then what it was… was waking up with scratches on my arms, legs, and torso. That was what got me worried and scared. 

I decided to stop being a normal and sane person. I couldn’t live like that anymore. So, I called someone. I was half expecting them to laugh at me and hang up. But, instead, they were very understanding. 

“Ghost Hunting and Psychic Medium,” a woman spoke cooly into the phone. I pulled the blanket tighter around my body as I looked around my home.

“Yeah... Hey, hi, I was just wondering how much your services are?” my voice was soft as I spoke. It was hardly a whisper. I wasn’t afraid that the ghosts could hear me. I was… Yeah, no, I was afraid the ghost could hear me. 

“Well, that depends on what you’re looking for. If your house is haunted and you need help putting the ghost to rest. Or, if you want to reach out to a loved one…” she continued, her voice droning on as she talked. I wondered if she actually liked her job. 

“Uh… I think my house… is haunted.” I wrinkled my nose as I looked at the coffee table, watching as a magazine dragged off the edge of the table by seemingly nothing. “I definitely think my house is haunted,” I nodded and spoke quickly.

“Do you know by what?” 

“What? What the fuck does that even mean?” 

“What kind of spirit is it? Like, is it a poltergeist, because if it’s that we don’t do that. Is it a normal spirit? A ghost? Do you know what type of spirit? And have you seen any orbs?”

“What the fuck are you talking about? I just… I don’t know! I need help. That’s all. I just need help.” I spoke quickly, “The fucking magazine just fell off the table! I woke up with scratches on my body from nowhere! I just need help." 

“I’ll send Raymond to your place, right away. What’s your name and address?” she asked, her tone suddenly calming as she spoke. I took a deep breath before giving her my address. “He’ll be over when he’s done with this client.” 

“Thank you.”

“Oh! Real quick! Do you have any pets? Cats, dogs…?”

“No?” I raised an eyebrow, trying to not think about how weird of a question it was, “Is… Is that important?”

“Mmm, a little bit. Raymond will ask you more questions when he gets there. But, I can tell that you need our help with the urgency in your voice.” 

“Thanks, I… I think…” I furrowed my eyebrows as my eyes shifted across the room. 

“He should be over soon!” 

“Thanks, again,”  I swallowed roughly before hanging up the call. I held my phone in a tight grip as I stared at the front door, waiting for the bell to ring or there to be a knock with the knocker. 

‘Stupid old house,’ I thought to myself as I slowly nodded off.

However I wasn’t asleep for very long because 20 minutes later, there was a knock on the door, causing me to jump awake and fall to the ground. 

“Coming!” I shouted, pulling the blanket tighter around my body as I shuffled to the front door. 

When I unlocked the door and pulled it open, I was met with a tall, scrawny-looking guy who looked nothing like a ghost hunter or psychic or medium. He just looked like a normal-looking dude. 

“Are you…?” he asked my name, looking at me with a friendly smile on his lips. I stared at him and nodded, forgetting that I gave his secretary my name earlier. “Perfect! Nice meeting you, I’m Raymond Wadsworth,” he stuck a hand out with his introduction.

“It’s… It’s nice meeting you too,” I stared at him before stepping to the side, “Thanks for helping me, by the way. I just moved in and I swear my house isn’t haunted,” I lied as he entered my home. My lie was foiled as a loud clatter followed by a bang came from up the stairs. “That’s the cat,” I lied, again, although I wasn’t sure why I was lying to begin with. I’m the one who called for help. I think my nervousness is making me lie. I’m pretending that I don’t need help when I really do need it; it was just a defense mechanism. 

“You said you didn’t have a cat,” Raymond looked down at me with a raised eyebrow. I swallowed roughly before shrugging.

“I… I don’t,” I widened my eyes before stepping into my house a bit more. “Roommate?” I glanced over my shoulder and at Raymond. He didn’t seem too convinced by my lie. And to be honest, neither was I. “I thought I lived by myself,”

“When did you say this house was built?” he asked, looking around at the old crown molding before looking down at the original hardwood floors that creaked with every step.

“Uh… 1901… I think. I don’t remember. I just know it’s very old.” I stepped so I was beside him, making the floor creak with my step. Raymond jumped slightly at the sound, forcing me to hold back my snicker. 

“People definitely died in this house then.” Swallowing roughly, he looked towards the staircase. Another clattering came from somewhere upstairs, causing me to jump behind him. It wasn’t like that’d do much help, honestly. I mean, standing behind a ghost hunter… while we’re both looking for ghosts… doesn’t really make sense. 

“Sorry,” I looked over at him as I felt the terror grow in my stomach, “I can’t move out either… I just moved here two months ago…” I spoke as I gave him the tour of my haunted house. I really wished I didn’t move into a haunted house. 

“You definitely do have some angry spirits here,” he looked around my home. I froze as we walked through a cold spot. “Dining room?” he looked over at me. I swallowed roughly and nodded before taking the lead back to the dining room. 

“Do you need anything? Like, uh, water? I don’t know. I’ve never thought I needed to do this before,” I looked up at him as he placed his bag on the table.

“Do you have any offerings to give the spirit?” Raymond asked as I sat across from at the table. I looked at him as my hands folded on the tabletop. 

“Uh… Er… An offering? I thought you were the ghost hunter here! Not me!” I watched as he set up a Ouija board and candles. 

“Not a ghost hunter,” he looked up from the candles as he lit them. I furrowed my eyebrows before standing back up. “Do you have anything?” he didn’t exactly clarify what sort of offering I would need. So, I went in blind.

“Yeah, yeah, let me… Let me check,” I tapped my fingers on the table before walking away. I slowly walked back to the kitchen, my phone flashlight safely guiding the way in the dark, spooky halls and rooms of my home.

“Stupid offering,” I scoffed, rummaging through the cabinets for something, anything that would work as some sort of “offering” for this stupid ass ghost. 

It was near impossible to find anything for this ghost. Granted, my food situation was a little on the lower side, seeing as I needed to grocery shop. Maybe this dumb thing would like.…

“Rice Krispies!” I exclaimed as I spotted the blue boxed cereal treat. I grabbed a few Rice Krispies before running back to the dining  room. But, before I made it, I seemingly tripped over nothing. 

“Fuck!” I shouted, landing hard face-first into the floor. My hand found its way to my nose, feeling blood trickling down my lips. “Shit, shit shit,” I muttered as I scrambled to my feet. 

“Did you find something?” Raymond looked back at me. I smiled, ignoring the blood coming from my nose, as I held up the 3 Rice Krispie treats I had. “What happened to your nose?” his shoulders dropped and worry took over his face as he looked at me.

“Oh! Uh, I tripped over the rug,” I lied, looking at him as I approached the table. I have one rug in the whole house, and it’s in the dining room. It was obvious that I had lied. He’s picked up on my lies covering for my fears.“I have… I have Rice Krispies! Will these work?” I looked down at the snack before placing them on the table.

“No-Well, yeah, they’ll work,” he shook his head as he picked up the treats. I nodded before rushing back to the kitchen, grabbing paper towels to hold to my nose. I returned to the dining room to find Raymond sitting at the table. The candles he had set up on either side of the Ouija board were lit, and the lights were turned off. 

“Do you do this with your girlfriend?” I laughed, looking at him as I slowly approached the table. Raymond looked up from his book and right at me. 

“I… I don’t have a girlfriend,” he furrowed his eyebrows. I swallowed roughly before sitting across from him. “Now, we have to summon the spirit,” he looked at me, watching as I nervously tugged my finger tips. 

“You… You want to summon the spirit… H-here? Are you sure that’s a good idea,” I could feel my body shaking with fear with his words. I was already dreading this. But I knew something had to happen because I couldn’t live in a haunted house. Something had to go, and it wasn’t going to be me. 

“We need to figure out why it’s here, where it came from, what it wants, and how to get it to leave.” Raymond looked at me as he placed his hands, face up, on the table. I stared at them for a moment before carefully resting my fingertips in his hands. 

“Are… Are you sure you need me for this? I could wait outside if you don’t really need me,” I stared at him. The way the small flames glowed off his face only mildly scared me. The intensity of his eyes told me I should stay here. “Okay, I’ll stay,” I whispered. 

Raymond started talking, bringing the ghost to the dining room with us instead of where it lived upstairs. I jumped out of my skin the second a loud bang came from my room. Raymond looked back at me, his grip around my hands tightening slightly. I couldn't tell if he was doing it to keep me still, or he was doing it to reassure me. I hoped for the latter. 

“Everything will be okay. I’m scared too,” he whispered as he looked at me. I swallowed roughly and nodded. 

“Don’t you do this for a living? And you’re scared?” 

“Everytime I do this, I’m scared. Because, if it’s a vengeful spirit… I’m fucked. I just started this business with my partner last year. I’m in no way equipped to deal with a vengeful spirit or poltergeist. I just do pissed off ghosts who need help crossing over.” The way he spoke was almost sad. I couldn't exactly put my tongue on it, but there was a certain sadness in his words. “They get a little lost and get stuck in the homes of their former lives.”

“That’s… That's really sad actually,” I whispered, looking down at the Ouija board in front of me. “Don’t make me feel bad for ghosts. This thing has been tormenting me since I’ve moved here.” I looked back at Raymond and scolded. He only smiled and shrugged.

“Ready?” he asked as he removed his hands from mine and placed them on the planchette. I swallowed roughly, resting my fingers opposite his. “Are you here?” his voice was low as he looked down at the tiny window on the board. 

I watched as the planchette moved across the board, slowly moving towards ‘Yes’. My heart was in my throat as I stared at the yes. I had to convince myself that this was real, and it wasn’t just Raymond messing with me. I mean, this whole thing could be a total scam and this guy I invited over is a total scam artist. 

“Can you tell us your name?” Raymond asked, causing me to look up at him. He had a crease in his brow as he looked down at the board. 

I looked back down at the board as my hands were moving with the planchette. It moved between letters, giving us the name Marjorie. 

“That… that’s the name of the little girl I dream about,” I looked up at Raymond. He looked back at me with a raised eyebrow. “I only have dreams about every so often, like once a week.” 

“She must be trying to get a message to you,” he looked back down at the board.

“Hello Marjorie, I’m Raymond,” he introduced himself to the spirit that was with us. “Can you tell us how old you are, Marjorie?”

My eyes dropped back down to the board, watching the planchette move to the number 1 twice. 

“She was 11 when she died,” I whispered, staring at where our hands sat. My heart slowed as I stared. Swallowing roughly, I looked back up at him. “She’s just lost…” I blinked as my eyes began welling up. 

“We’re here to help her,” Raymond reminded me. I nodded, feeling as a tear rolled down my cheek. “Marjorie, are you lost? Do you need help finding your way home?” 

I was too distracted to see the answer. And the reason why I was distracted was because there was a laughter of a little girl coming from behind me. 

“R-raymond,” my voice shook as my body froze. Raymond slowly looked up from the board and right behind me. “Please tell me you heard that too,”

“I need you to stay very still,” he whispered before he stood up. I watched as he walked beside me and knelt to the ground. “You must be Marjorie,” he looked behind me as he spoke. 

“C-can I move?” I asked, swallowing roughly. And, before he even got the chance to answer, the candles were blown out and the room got very cold. 

“Fuck,” Raymond muttered as he stood up straight. I looked up at him with wide eyes.

“Fuck as in “fuck she’s gone for good” or Fuck as in “Fuck she's fucking gone”? Because I don’t like the way you said that,” 

“The latter,” he paused when more clatter came from upstairs. I swallowed roughly before turning in my chair to look at the stairs. “She must’ve gone up there. I’m willing to bet her bedroom is your current room,” he looked down at me. 

“I-I’m guessing you want us to… go up there?” I stared at him. He dropped his head before nodding. I looked back at the table, looking at the Ouija board.

“I’m never sleeping ever again,” I muttered as I stood.

“It’ll be that way for a long time. But then someday you’ll have the best rest of your life, and you won’t even realize it,” he looked down at me. “Trust me, I speak from experience.” 

“I mean, I suppose I have to trust you. I’m paying for you to get rid of this ghost… Which I feel bad about now… Now that I know it’s a little girl,” I sighed as I slumped my shoulders.

“C’mon, we should go see if she’s up there,” Raymond nodded, taking the lead from me and brought us towards the stairs. And just as we made it to the top of the stairs, his hand brushed with mine. I looked over at him with wide eyes. “You don’t have to hold my hand… I’m not that scared,” I laughed as his fingers interlocked with mine. 

“I don’t know how to tell you this…” his voice was low, and he audibly swallowed. 

“Tell me what?” I shivered as a cool shock went down my spine.

“I’m… I’m not holding your hand,” he looked over at me as he slowly lifted his hands. Swallowing roughly, I very slowly looked down at the space between Raymond and I. The ghostly figure of Marjorie standing between us, her hand encased with mine. 

“Fuck!” Raymond and I both screamed at the same time before we both ran towards my bedroom. I slammed the door shut before locking it and pressing my back to it.

“Offering!” Raymond looked at me with wide eyes. I stared at him, feeling my heart jump to my throat from the fear. 

“I-I gave you something,” I stuttered over my words as I vaguely gestured towards the kitchen. 

“Do you have, like, something important to you?” he placed his hands on my shoulders. I swallowed roughly as I looked around my room. A tattered stuffed rabbit sat on my bed. It was something I’ve had since I was little. My dad had given it to me for my 11th birthday. It was the last birthday I had with him before he died. “Something that isn’t a lunch snack.”

“Why do you need something important?” whispering as I asked. My eyes went back to him.

“Marjorie is lost. She’s a disturbed spirit in your home and she needs help crossing over. Giving her something of great importance will help her cross over,” he explained as he kept his eyes on me. I swallowed roughly before nodding.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll have to look." I stepped away from him as I went deeper into my room. 

“Okay, I need… a mirror,” he turned as he watched me look in my closet. I turned to look at him, my eyebrows raising in confusion. 

“A mirror?” 

 “I need to leave a simple message for her to figure out what she wants or needs. She can give us a message to help us… help her,” he looked over at the mirror by my dresser. My raised eyebrows slowly became furrowed the longer I stared at him. 

“A message?” 

“That’s what I said,” he looked over at me as he went up to the mirror. “Stay here, keep looking for that offering. I’ll be right back,” he pointed at me before exiting my room. 

I was going to have to  pretend that I didn’t have anything of great importance. I wasn’t willing to give up that stuffed rabbit. Not now, not ever. Marjorie was going to have to want something else.  Or she was going to have to become like Casper the Friendly Ghost if she was going to stay here longer. 

The door opened and closed with a soft slam.

“Hey, I have… this,” I held up a book that I got a few years ago from an old friend. It had no real importance to me anymore, but what Raymond and Marjorie won’t know won’t hurt them…. 

I turned around to show Raymond the object, my eyes looking at the cover of the book. When I looked up, I didn’t see Raymond. It was Marjorie that I saw. 

“H-hi Marjorie,” I whispered, lowering the book. She stared at me as she slowly lifted her finger, pointing right at me. “R-Raymond!” I shouted, taking a step back. Marjorie copied my step, except she moved closer to me. “Raymond!” I shouted again, this time a little bit louder. 

Raymond came crashing into the bedroom, looking at me with panic on his face. 

“Oh, I-I see,” he caught himself before he could crash into me or Marjorie. He looked between me and the ghost as he slowly walked towards us. Marjorie’s head turned, her body staying put, to face Raymond before screaming and vanishing. 

“Something tells me this book won’t work,” I lifted the book back up and looked at it. I wrinkled my nose as I looked back at Raymond. He was looking at me, watching me carefully. 

“Do you have anything else? Something more important to you, maybe?” Raymond stepped up to me, his arm extending out to take the book from me. I looked at the book before looking over at the stuffed rabbit. 

“Y-yeah, I do…” I sighed deeply, my shoulders slumping as I walked over to the rabbit. I picked it up and looked down at it. “It’ll be gone forever if I give it to her,” I pushed the ears back before resting my hand on its stomach.

Raymond looked at me, a certain sorrow on his face. “It’s the only way,” he whispered softly. I looked up at him and sighed deeply. 

“How do you know?” 

“When I went down stairs… On the bathroom mirror, she had written stuffed animal,” he stepped up to me, looking down at the rabbit in my hand, “She must’ve left hers behind… and she can’t leave without it,” 

“I…” I stopped, cutting myself off with a deep sigh, “I guess… I guess if it’ll help her, she can… she can have it,” I swallowed roughly and looked back up at Raymond. 

“I’m sorry it has to be this way.” 

I shrugged before looking at the rabbit. “She can have it,” my voice cracked. I wiped my cheek on my shoulder and shook my head. 

“Come on, the quicker we give this to Marjorie, the quicker you can have your home back,” he looked at me with sad eyes. I looked up at him and nodded. Raymond took the lead back down to the dining room, his set up with the ouija board cleaned up and my room was back to normal. 

“Do I just-” I stopped talking when the little girl appeared beside Raymond and I. I looked down at her, watching as she was looking between me and the tattered bear in my hands. 

“She’s waiting for you,” Raymond nodded at the bear. I swallowed roughly before lowering to the ground. 

“H-hi Marjorie,” I smiled at her before holding up the rabbit, “This… This rabbit is super important to me… You take care of him… O-okay?” I held the rabbit closer to her and blinked. 

Marjorie looked at me and nodded lightly before grabbing the rabbit from my hands. I smiled softly as she cuddled the rabbit before vanishing on last time. With a deep sigh, I stood up and looked at Raymond.

“Thank you so much for your services, Raymond,” I smiled sadly at him and nodded, “I’ll uh… You’ll send me a bill?” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Raymond smiled and shook his head. “Happy to help you get rid of your problem,” he spoke as he collected his belongings. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, really… It’s no problem,” he held his bag over his shoulder, “Hope you finally get a good night’s rest,” he smiled before leaving. I smiled, standing alone in the dark dining room. It took me a long time before I finally moved to get ready for bed. But, when I did get to bed, it was the best night of sleep I’ve had in a very long time.

And, when I woke up the next morning, sitting at the foot of my bed was the rabbit I had given Marjorie the night before.

if you want to be a part of a taglist or have any comments about this one shot, let me know here

[lovelylogans]

honey, you’re familiar (like my mirror)

see other chapters, notes, and warnings here!

chapter four: symbiosis

symbiosis: interaction between two different organisms living in close physical association, typically to the advantage of both.

VIRGIL

“Uh,” Virgil says, scrambling in the face of his mother—hair wrapped for the night, blinking the sleep out of her eyes, her arms crossed, “My—myself?”

Technically true, he guesses, according to some of the sensate’s personal beliefs about the connections they share with their clusters, according to Logan according to Dot. Like having other selves scattered across the world.

Andisiwe frowns. “At this time of night?”

Virgil shrugs weakly.

She frowns deeper. Then:

“You know,” she says, looking at him very intently, “your grandmother used to talk to herself at all times of day, too.”

Virgil stays silent. His mother crouches to sit with him on the floor, settling with a long sigh.

“About anything at all,” she continues. “She’d talk about the snow when this country hadn’t seen snow for ten years. She’d laugh when no one told a joke, cried when nothing sad had happened. She’d make recipes I’d never heard of before. You remember her pitha?”

Virgil nods, confused. Of course he remembers her pitha. They’d have it at every large family gathering.

“That’s an Indian dessert. She’d never left South Africa in all her life, but she knew how to make pitha and speak Tamil like she was born in Bangalore. Just like you were speaking a language other than Xhosa or English just now.”

Oh, Virgil thinks, then, oh.

“So unless you started taking language lessons while studying for your doctorate,” she says, staring at him.

Virgil chews at the inside of his cheek.

“No,” he says hoarsely. “No, I didn’t.”

She nods, accepting this. “How long…?”

“I don’t know,” Virgil admits. “A week and a half? Two weeks?”

“Not long at all,” she murmurs. “ I suppose it might skip a generation. She told me once it started when she was a child. A horrible headache struck her, and once it let up she had seven new friends all around the world. When they were all ten, maybe.”

Ten, Virgil thinks, mind whirling. God, to deal with all this at the age of ten?

“Sensates,” Virgil croaks. “We’re called sensates.”

His mother offers him a smile. 

“I know,” she says. “Tell me about them.”

“One’s here,” Virgil says, and he looks at the big, tall, tattooed man. “I don’t think I got your name last time.”

The man walks from his plush apartment rug to sit on the hardwood floor. 

“Patton Taumata,” he says with Virgil’s mouth, offering a bright smile to Virgil’s mother, sitting beside him. “Māori, New Zealander.”

And then Virgil feels what Patton does next—pull seems too strong a word, but it’s the closest he has.

Sitting across from him, looking vaguely disgruntled to find himself on the ground, yet still sitting at his desk in his home office.

“Janus Slange,” he says. “London.”

He slides out of Virgil’s body to find a spot to sit that’s a bit more refined.

Patton turns his head, and Virgil turns his gaze to follow.

“Roman Regio,” the actor says, looking up from his script to gesture beside him. “And my brother, Remus. Who is currently on his way to Mexico City, which he should have done as soon as he got accused.”

“This is such a dumb plan,” Remus groans, resting his head simultaneously against the bus window and Virgil’s bed. “I want all of you batshit hallucinations to know that I don’t come up with plans this stupid. My plans are refined in the way they cause utter chaos.”

Sitting in his bed in the barracks and beside Virgil, so close their thighs almost touch, giving Virgil a thrill that shoots all the way to his fingertips—

“Logan Zieliński,” he says to Virgil’s mother, careful to sound respectful. “I was just here. I’m Polish, but I’m currently studying in Antarctica. Space research.”

They’re here. All of them here. But Virgil sees Patton reach again—

EMILE

—and Emile beams at the sight before him. Patton turns to grin at him.

“Well done!” Emile says, filled to bursting with pride. 

Patton! Reliably being able to pull them all in to visit together! That kind of skill—coupled with the fact that Patton, back in his apartment in Auckland, is peaceably planning lessons with a sitcom in the background—can take other sensates months of practice to truly achieve. 

“Is this your mother?” He asks Virgil.

Virgil says, “Um, Mom, my—cluster parent?”

Emile makes an eh handwavey gesture followed by a thumbs-up. “Whatever you’re comfortable with, I’m comfortable with!”

“—is here right now. His name’s—”

He speaks at the same time as Emile does.

“Dr. Emile Picani, hi there—!”

“—and he’s American.”

Virgil’s mother’s brow wrinkles in distaste, but she does a good show of trying to hide it.

“That’s fair,” Emile says. “Americans are—well, y’know. You’ve seen the news.”

“This is my mother, Dr. Andisiwe Nkosi. My grandmother was a sensate too, apparently.”

“Oh, that’s lovely!” Emile exclaims. “There are sensates within biological families, of course—” he gestures to Roman and Remus, “—but things are still up in the air about if and how being homo sensorium passes down.”

“Dot said the number of sensates is rising due to epigenetic factors,” Logan says.

“Oh, you’ve met Dot!” Emile says delightedly. 

“She answered many of the questions I have,” Logan says, and for a blip, they’re all sitting in the barracks in Antarctica as Logan reaches for a notebook and pen. “But I still have many questions.”

“Entirely understandable,” Emile says.

“Wait, you got your questions answered?” Roman demands, and they’re all sitting on Roman’s apartment’s massive balcony overlooking Mexico City. “I just got this one—” he points accusingly at Janus, “telling me hey, surprise, you’re not actually losing your shit!”

Janus shrugs, and they’re all surrounded by monitors, blinking with so many different points of data it makes Emile a little dizzy. “He just showed up in the mirror while I was shaving.”

“Well,” Emile says, and they’re all in Emile’s apartment at home. Emile puts a kettle on the stove. “I’m here now. So what questions can I help you answer? Or, at least, activate the Archipelago to get some kind of answer for you. If you can think of some kind of subject, there’s probably a sensate that knows something about it, but I suppose we should probably start with the sensate-specific questions.”

Remus puts up a hand and asks, loudly, “Can I use the psychic connection with other sensates to have some kind of insane worldwide orgy?”

ROMAN

Sasha is out for a key art photoshoot, so Roman has the whole apartment to himself. Which is good, because he got a bit busy last night with the whole explanation of what exactly it is that’s been happening to him, and then yelling in disgust when Remus asked gross questions about it.

Roman’s considering if he wants to paint his nails—it’s not like he can keep it, if solely for movie continuity—just to have something to do with his hands when the door cracks open.

And in steps Remus—absolutely filthy, staring at Roman incredulously, a fake mustache plastered above his real mustache that he immediately rips off.

“It worked,” Roman says gleefully. “It worked!”

“First of all, cops ain’t shit, I probably should have expected literally every police officer to sleep on the job when seeing someone suspicious board a bus, but Jesus fuckin’ Christ, your security munches ass,” Remus declares, “They let a murderer get into your apartment.” 

Roman bursts out laughing.

“It’s not funny!” Remus says, pulling off the fake beard he’d donned. “It took five pesos of stolen fake beard and mustache to fool everyone, are you fucking kidding me—?!”

Roman slides off the couch, gripping his stomach, he’s laughing so hard.

“What?!” Remus demands, throwing off the overly large trench coat he’d been huddling under.

“You,” Roman wheezes, then, “you said the plan was stupid and it wouldn’t work—!”

“It is stupid! I come up with way better plans than this, you’re telling me that you came up with the stupid kid movie plan and I didn’t?! And it shouldn’t have worked—Roman, stop laughing, your fangirls are fucking batshit crazy, could you imagine what kind of weird Wattpad shit they’d get up to if they knew how easy it was to break in here?!”

Roman is screaming with laughter, because literally all they needed was a fake mustache and beard, and ooh Roman can tell that Remus is pissed that Roman came up with this plan first because it’s such a perfectly Remus plan. He isn’t sure how much of it is a sensate thing versus a twin brother thing, but all the same, Roman knows that Remus is absolutely fuming, which makes it even funnier.

Remus storms off, shouting, “Just for this, I’m going to use up all your fancy shampoo! I’m going to take the biggest, nastiest shit in your bathroom! I’m—I’m going to eat all your soap! I will! I’ll do it! I’m eating all your soap!”

LOGAN

It’s still a little startling to look over at his notebook and suddenly find himself in South Africa, but he’s gotten a little more accustomed to it since the night before. He’s been feeling a pull to South Africa all day, like an ache deep in his chest. He isn’t entirely sure why.

Virgil glances over at him and smiles, just a little. Logan smiles back. Virgil clears his throat and returns his attention to the textbook before him.

“Roman’s plan worked,” he says. 

Logan huffs, shaking his head. Honestly. It’s like those American movies when three children stack on top of each other and wear a large trenchcoat and a fake beard to gain access to the movies, but it actually worked. 

In retrospect, Logan’s sure that Remus would have foregone his escape into the wilderness if he’d known that donning a disguise and having his rich brother pay away the arrest troubles and their psychically connected lawyer argue before the court would have worked so neatly.

However, considering that nearly every aspect of that plan is absolutely off the rails ridiculous, the escape into the wilderness must have seemed like a prudent measure to take at the time.

“How’s your research?” Logan asks, sitting down on Virgil’s bed. 

“Pretty good,” Virgil says, his tone very casual. “I think the fact that abrus precatorius—”

“The scientific name for rosary peas,” Logan assumes. He is rewarded by a nod from Virgil.

“—isn’t native to Mexico and the fact that Remus hasn’t traveled for years on end is a pretty good basis for Janus to go on. Plus, abrin—”

“The toxin?” Logan clarifies and receives a nod.

“—is incredibly toxic, to the point where anyone ordering rosary peas would probably get pinged under some kind of monitoring system. So there wouldn’t really be a way for Remus himself to get them. Miguel Contreras, on the other hand—”

“The murder victim?” Logan says, startled.

“Yes—on the other hand, he went to Florida very recently. He got back three days before his death, in fact.”

“I thought they were native to Asia and Australia?”

“Yeah, they are, but rosary peas are an invasive species, and they’ve been clocked in the pine rocklands there,” Virgil says. “Symptoms usually occur pretty quick, but it can take up to five days to show up, depending on the method of ingestion. And considering the seed of just one pea could be fatal…”

“Then the cause of death could very well be found in Florida!” Logan says. “And the only thing they have on Remus—”

“—Are threats, exactly,” Virgil says enthusiastically. “And considering the way Remus is as a person, Janus could probably get those hand-waved away as being under jest, rather than an actual threat to kill him.”

They smile at each other again, Virgil’s lips twisting wryly. 

“I’ve been wanting to visit you all day,” he says abruptly, and Logan feels that flutter in his stomach again, the one he’s been feeling since they first met; he’s willing to admit to himself that it most certainly isn’t unease, now. It is a near antonym of unease.

“I have too,” Logan admits, trying his very best to keep his voice informal.

Virgil’s smile softens, a little. “Yeah?”

“Yes,” Logan affirms, and the flutter in his stomach intensifies.

They stare at each other. Virgil’s eyes, Logan notices abruptly, are objectively beautiful. Framed by long lashes, his eyes are so dark a shade of brown they’re practically black, so easy to stare at, admiring the way a sudden shift in the lighting would illuminate the subtle honeyed depths of them. 

For a moment, Logan gets a flicker; he’s looking at his own eyes, blue and framed by his glasses, but the emotion in him doesn’t change, the fleeting thought of look how gorgeous, and suddenly he is back to looking at Virgil, and, as one, they look away.

Virgil coughs awkwardly. “This sensate thing—weird, huh?”

For the first time, Logan wonders if the feeling in his stomach is not entirely his own. If it is something shared.

But, Logan thinks, sneaking a look at Virgil taking notes, twirling his pen idly over the backs of his long fingers, he supposes that neither of them would be able to tell that, anyways.

REMUS

Remus is bouncing his leg so much that the cop near him is giving him a disdainful look.

Or maybe the look is because the cop thinks he’s a murderer. Whatever.

“Are you sure this is gonna work,” Remus mutters out of the corner of his mouth because he hasn’t gotten the hang of visiting someone in his cluster and going about day-to-day life like a normal person, the way more experienced sensates can. 

“Positive,” Janus says. He’s sitting crossed-legged beside Remus in his holding cell, where they’re waiting to be transported to the courtroom. Remus is pretty sure most lawyers shouldn’t turn up to court in pajamas, but considering that to the rest of the courtroom Remus is going to play at being his own lawyer, it’s all fine. 

“All they have on you is proximity and threats,” Janus continues. “And considering the voice in your novels, along with the parts in your dust jackets’ where you literally threaten your readers, I can get that set aside no problem.”

Remus inhales heavily and exhales just as noisily.

“Right,” he says. “Right.”

Roman flickers into sight just long enough to shoot Remus a thumbs up, and as Janus resumes spitting legal jargon, Remus feels his shoulders relax.

PATTON

“Be careful with our bezzie Buzzy Bee!” Patton says brightly. He’s crouched before Sophie, having helped untangle the string. “Let’s make sure we don’t tangle him up again, eh?”

“I will, Mr. T!” Sophie shouts, already on the run with the toy, and Patton huffs ruefully. It’ll probably be tangled up again by the end of the day.

A brief chill across his skin, and Patton shivers before he refocuses on the sunny afternoon, here, in Auckland.

By the time he’s stood upright, Logan’s beside him, in a white lab coat.

“Do you really need that much air conditioning down there?” Patton says. “Seems a bit overkill, mate.”

Logan shrugs, closing a door, hiding away some kind of equipment that looks very finicky and complex. “I’m not the one in charge of the facility.”

“Fair enough,” Patton says. “I’m pretty sure I’ll be asked to join in on some kind of game, soon. You like rugby?”

“It’s not exactly popular in Poland.”

“Hm. Guess not,” Patton says. “Probably should’ve known that already.”

“The whole sharing knowledge aspect of this does seem to be rather dependent on a variety of factors,” Logan says thoughtfully. “I don’t think I automatically know the minutiae of New Zealand history and culture just because you might; I think we have to be doing something to trigger that sharing of knowledge.” 

Patton huhs thoughtfully.

“If you didn’t know how to drive a car, for instance,” Logan theorizes, “and I did, and you sat behind a wheel and needed to drive somewhere, I would probably be able to impart that knowledge to you.”

“I can ask Emile,” Patton says, ready to turn and look in on Florida, but he’s stopped by Logan’s frustrated, “how do you do that?”

“Hm?” Patton says, turning to look at him.

“This seems to come so effortlessly to you,” Logan says. “You drop in and seem totally at ease, you could control if we all came to see Virgil a couple nights ago, and by the reactions of those around you, you don’t seem to be talking to thin air—”

“Well, we’re mostly, surrounded by five-year-olds, they wouldn’t be too phased by the concept of me having an imaginary friend,” Patton points out. Logan doesn’t seem particularly amused by this.

“I don’t know,” Patton admits. “Emile thought I was just very communicative, for a sensate. That might be it; I’ve always been pretty chatty. It also might be because Māori have beliefs about how we are all connected—people, nature, all living things—so maybe I was a little more prepared to accept that I was literally connected to other people because I grew up with that as a sacred ideal.”

They watch children run and play for a few minutes; Manaia, diving to catch a football in the game of rugby that had assembled; Sophie, racing between everyone with her Buzzy Bee clack-clack-clacking behind her; Oliver, shyly joining in on a game of hopscotch.

The grass sways in the light breeze, the sun had peeked out from behind its clouds, leaving the entire playground awash in light and warmth. The laughter of children carries on the wind. Patton’s coworkers occasionally look up from their tiny charges to smile and wish him a good day.

“It’s really rather nice here,” Logan says quietly. “I’ve never been remotely near this continent. Coming to research in Antarctica is the most travel I’ve ever really done.”

“Do you miss home?” Patton asks.

Logan considers this.

“Some things,” he says. “Kluski, makowiec, honey mead. Newspapers written in my native language. The coffee shop I studied in throughout all of university. Proper herbata góralska. My mentors. The ability to go to a grocery store. My mother.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“But I love the research I do here,” Logan says firmly. “It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be able to study down here.”

“It sure seems like it,” Patton says, his admiration clear in his voice. 

“This whole situation threw a bit of a wrench in the works,” he says.

“I think it did for all of us,” Patton says. “Not all bad, though. Remus would probably still be on the run if he hadn’t connected with Janus.”

“No,” Logan muses, a soft flush touching his cheeks. “Certainly not all bad.”

Unbidden, images flash in his mind; black coffee, an expanse of wide sunny road, the sensation of dirt under his fingernails, purple jacaranda blossoms.

Patton tries his hardest not to grin. But—

“What,” Logan says defensively.

“Nothing,” Patton says, not hiding his smile, and Logan huffs irritably.

“You know,” Patton says, “Emile’s been dating someone in-cluster for, like, nine years? They were the first people that they saw, of the people in-cluster. In-cluster relationships are apparently pretty common, which I guess makes sense. Sharing feelings, knowledge, everything—it sure can bond two people together.”

Logan’s flush deepens. 

“Just sayin’,” Patton offers cheerfully, and he goes off to join a game of hopscotch, leaving Logan with his thoughts.

JANUS

The language is different. The procedure is different. The situation is, most definitely, different. 

He’s used to English, English law, English crimes. He’s been a barrister for years, jumping from one firm to another because the latter had seen partner potential in him; it paid much better, too, which certainly hadn’t been a negative. Janus had become a well-polished lawyer, a viper in the courtroom, a boomslang to his rivals. 

He’s good at it, is his point. He’s always been good at it.

He stands, surveying the judge. A different uniform, but a similar dime-a-dozen judge. He’s seen this type dozens of times. He could debate them in his sleep.

But as he looks to the side—Remus sitting, Roman beside him, the rest of the cluster in a line past them, just peeks of their profiles past the twins—he remembers why he started to study law, too.

Because he wanted to be able to get himself and his brother out of any and every sticky situation they could ever stumble into.

Janus stands when he is bid to. He takes the oath, Remus’s mother language tripping off his tongue like it’s his own. It is now, Janus supposes. 

Roman reaches over and grips Remus’s hand. Remus pinches Roman as hard as he possibly can, but Roman doesn’t flinch.

Janus begins smoothly, “Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the court...”

[ptolomeia]

Story Time: Restitution

Teen and up

Brotherly/Platonic DRLAMP AU, Clones, psychic powers, Believed Major Character Death, Protective brothers, Suicidal Thoughts, Grief, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Second Chances, Rescues, Brief appearances of first person narration, but we promise they don't last, Everyone Needs A Hug, And surprisingly most of them actually get one

Summary: Story Time: Once upon a time, there was a boy named Thomas who developed psychic powers. Let me tell you, it did not go the way I dreamt it would.

* * *

When Janus learns what the men who made them had done to their progenitor, he knows he needs to get his brothers out. As soon as he can, he defects and starts the work needed to take down the men who made them, and keep his brothers safe.

* * *

After Deceit kills Janus, Virgil is left helpless to watch as Deceit takes his older brothers away from him one by one, until all he has left is the ghost of Not Janus and the possibility of a new brother to hold onto.

AO3

Story Time: Once upon a time, there was a boy named Thomas who developed psychic powers. Let me tell you, it did not go the way I dreamt it would.

* * *

Janus was the first of them to fall to Deceit. He’d been the oldest and smartest and best of them all, and Deceit had killed him.

Virgil knew that made sense. Janus was the most powerful and smartest of them all. Deceit had to know that any plan he made with Janus still around to fight him would have failed, so Deceit had killed him. Ambushed Virgil’s oldest brother on one of his missions, killed him, and started trying destroying everything the organization that made Virgil and his brothers had ever worked on. Deceit was brilliant. Deceit was terrifying. All of their training had been turned towards making Virgil and his remaining brothers powerful enough to destroy him. Apparently they’d done well enough, because the orders had come down last night. Remus would be going after Deceit in two more days.

Virgil bit his lip and tried to keep his worry from even Patton, useless as it was to try to hide what you were feeling from an empath. It wasn’t that he didn’t think Remus could do it—Remus was incredible! Brutal, creative, literally invulnerable, he’d take out Deceit no sweat and be home within the week.

But… Janus had been Janus. And Janus was never going to come home.

Virgil just didn’t want to lose another brother.

* * *

It had taken Remus days to get this deep into Deceit’s lair, but he’d finally managed it. Infiltration was his speciality after all. Well, that and mayhem. It was amazing what you could do when you didn’t have to worry about silly things like “bodily integrity” and “extreme temperatures”. But until he had Deceit right where he wanted him, he could be patient. And then, once Deceit was left in itty-bitty pieces, the Men who’d Made Them would be so distracted by cleaning up the rest of his organization that Remus would be able to grab his brothers and get out. Janus wasn’t there to protect them anymore, and someone had to. Roman would be safe. And so would Virgil.

He just had to kill this bastard and the brothers he had left would be free.

Remus heard steps coming down the hallway he was hiding over and shifted slightly, ready to drop down and destroy. Show time.

He would have sworn the movement was completely silent, but the figure stopped just outside pouncing range. Remus kept his breath as silent as possible, rage burning in his chest. Just a few more steps, and Janus’s ghost would be able to rest easy. All he had to do was wait.

“I know you’re there,” said a familiar voice, and everything inside Remus’s head came to a crashing halt. He was dead. “I can hear you. I don’t know how you made it this far, but you might as well—“

The angle was wrong, and his coordination off, but he still launched himself at the hooded figure not quite below him.

Shadow arms reached out and caught him, throwing him against the wall and pinning him there, and Remus was left staring into familiar brown and yellow eyes. Eyes that were full of things Remus couldn’t name.

“They send you to kill me?” Janus asked, letting go of Remus and vanishing his shadow hands. Remus’s legs refused to take his weight and he kept on sliding right down the wall. Janus was alive. “I wish I could say I thought they were above that,” Janus continued, “asking you to kill your own brother, but I can’t. Not after everything I’ve learned. Not after what they did to Thomas.”

“You’re alive,” Remus managed, not yet able to process anything else. “They told us Deceit killed you!”

“Right, because people who would send someone to kill their own brother—without even telling them—are the epitome of truthfulness,” Janus spat.

“Jan?” Remus asked, and for the first time in years, he let himself sound like the scared little brother no one could ever know he still felt like some times.

“They lied to you, Remus. To all of us. When I found out the truth about Thomas—“

“Who’s this Thomas guy you keep mentioning?” Remus asked. And why didn’t Remus know about him?

Janus looked down at him, thoughts flashing behind his eyes. Remus wished he’d let on what some of them were. “Our progenitor,” Janus finally said.

“Wait, what?” Remus asked. “You know about our progenitor? How? All they ever said was that he developed psychic powers and that’s why they cloned him after he died youn—“

Janus let out a dangerous hiss and Remus froze. Indestructible and immune to physical pain or not, he’d learned young it was really, really dumb to push Janus in a mood like this.

“That is what they said, isn’t it. ‘Died young.’ Well, at least that much wasn’t an outright lie, even with all the truths they hid with it.” Something solidified in Janus’s eyes—he’d made a decision.

“Come on,” he said, coming up to Remus and offering him a hand. “There are things you need to know.”

Without another word, Remus took his—living—brother’s hand and let himself be pulled up. There was no way he was going through with the original mission anymore, and once he had calmed down, Janus would be able to help him figure out what to do. It wasn’t his job alone to protect his brothers anymore. Janus would make sure Roman was never used to control Remus again. That Logan got to relax. That Patton never had to reach into someone’s heart and break them ever again. That Virgil… That Virgil was okay. All Remus had to do was hear Janus out and then they could get started on fixing things.

They walked through the twisting corridors of the base Janus had claimed. Remus’s mind made notes of small improvements that could be made to the already impressive security. He’d tell Janus when he’d calmed down again. Finally, they turned through a door into a small office. Nothing fancy—No pictures on the walls or rugs on the floor or anything. Just a small desk with a single screen on it, attached to a computer, and a chair at the desk. Janus sat down and started typing in commands.

“This room was one of the first ones I set up, when I left. My bedroom is the next door down and I come here when it feels like too much. When I need the reminder of why I left in the first place, and what’s truly at stake.” He got up from the computer. “They’re cued to run one after the other.”

Remus hesitated. His thoughts were too fast, his body needed to move, he didn’t want to—

“Do I really have to sit for this?” Remus asked.

“There’s a lot to take in,” Janus replied, looking over at him. Remus shifted slightly from foot to foot. This was obviously important but he could never focus when sitting sti—

Janus pulled something out of his pocket and tossed it to Remus. Remus couldn’t help his grin as he caught the fidget cube, hands immediately going to the clicking side. It might drive everyone else crazy, but he loved it. It was always the first side of his cubes to break.

“Aw shucks, bro. I missed you too,” Remus said, trying for a joke and an easy smile and for once having terrible aim.

“I’ve missed all of you,” Janus said, and he wasn’t even trying to hide how he felt, the confident bastard. “But after you see this, I think you’ll understand why I had to leave.”

Raising an eyebrow, Remus went and sat at the computer as his fingers danced across the cube, clicking and flicking and twirling. On the screen was a familiar face—the same one he saw in the mirror every day, or whenever he saw his brothers, though he didn’t know the subtle differences that distinguished this one. He knew for sure none of his brothers had ever looked that care free and besides, the kid on the screen looked older than most of them. Older than Logan, but younger than Roman or Remus himself. 16 was Remus’s best guess. He could turn and ask Janus—Janus definitely knew—or he could watch the videos and probably get the answers he wanted anyway. He reached up and pressed play.

On the screen, the kid started to move, smile becoming bigger and even more carefree, “What is UP everybody!”

Remus sat and watched. First were the videos of Thomas goofing around and having fun. And then the powers started showing up. Remus recognized them. The rest of their powers might be a lot more subtle, but he’d know Virgil and Janus’s shadow hands anywhere.

The next videos weren’t Thomas’s. They were security footage of familiar corridors and a cell and a kid who’d never been trained in his life trying to escape and failing miserably. Then came the experiments. Baseline stuff—Just tests to see how much you’d improved in certain categories. Lots of them, sure, but nothing Remus hadn’t been doing for as long as he could remember.

The next video didn’t have Thomas in it at all. It was a meeting of the men who ran the facility. The ones who’d ordered all of them made. Remus knew them from their pictures on the walls, but had never seen them in anything else. Not before now. The meeting did not start well. Disagreements. Arguments. Yelling. Finally, agreement. Conclusion.

Back to Thomas, with the experiments getting worse. More intense. Pushing Thomas to do more and more and more—again, it wasn’t anything Remus and his brothers hadn’t had to do, but Thomas wasn’t trained to take anyof this. Clips of Thomas crying in his cell. Thomas begging to be let out. To see his parents. To see his brothers. Thomas didn’t have any brothers in the facility. Remus felt Janus standing behind him, watching the videos with him. Janus who had died. Janus who was alive again. His fingers moved across the cube more and more frenetically. Harsher experiments—Worse than what they’d done to any of them except Remus, and Remus was indestructible—and then—

The explosion.

Thomas losing control or will or something—Remus couldn’t read his expression, the second it all went wrong, besides the fear. Maybe Patton could have, but Remus couldn’t. He just felt—He didn’t know that either.

The last video. A meeting. Blame, anger, (no guilt). A proposal. A ‘solution’. DNA recovered. They could start again, as many times as it took to get it right. They could tweak the sequence, adding and taking away as needed. They could build a team powerful enough to do whatever they wanted done. Experiments could be run to see if more power could be created, harnessed, controlled.

They would start with a single clone—increased senses, increased mental capabilities, some animal traits for senses humans didn’t have. He would teach them much about how to build the ones who came after him. The project was voted on. Approved. Code name: Janus.

The video ended on the smiles of the men. The cube cracked in Remus’s hand.

“You understand why I left now, don’t you,” Janus asked quietly behind him. “I’d long suspected there was something rotten there—the way they used Roman to control you, for a start—but once I knew the whole truth? Once I knew who the ‘Thomas’ I’d heard whispered about behind closed doors was and what happened to him… I had to stop them Remus. They tortured a kid to death—” Remus almost wanted to point out he wasn’t sure if Thomas was older than Janus by the time he’d… he couldn’t pick between ‘died’ and ‘was killed’ to describe it, but he didn’t. Even if he’d been years older than Remus by the end of the videos, he still understood thinking of someone that helpless and alone as a kid. “—and then they made more of us to torture until they could get it ‘right’.”

“I’ll help you stop them,” Remus said, turning to face Janus, the sharp edges of the broken cube digging painlessly into his palm.

“I didn’t ask you to.”

“Do you think you can stop me?” Remus said, surging to his feet and starting to pace. “After what I just watched? After what I know they’re willing to do? We can’t just keep leaving our brothers at their non-existent mercy Janus!”

“Because that was my plan entirely,” Janus snapped before coming over and grabbing Remus by the shoulders. “You have to understand, Remus. This is dangerous, even for you—“

“More dangerous than it is for you? You forgetting which one of us is invulnerable here?”

“They’ll use Roman,” Janus said, giving Remus a single shake. “You might be physically invulnerable but—They never had to hurt any of you to keep me in line, but they know you fold when they put Roman under pressure. If they think you’re dead, they wont’ have a reason to hurt him. You might be indestructible Remus, but are you willing to risk him?”

“So start a rumour you’ve developed mind control powers or something—They’d believe it! Dammit, Janus, you need me! I get you don’t have the resources to take them head on yet, but I can help you get them faster because we need to get them out!”

Suddenly, Remus had all of his big brother’s attention.

“What happened?” Janus demanded.

Remus pushed down all his panic and the memory of Thomas’s last expression.

“Janus. When you died—when you left… They started experiments on Virgil.”