#like…. I experience opposite extremes of emotions sometimes

[jojo-schmo]

More Schmojo!! And I decided to name her dark matter friend living in her bubble rod, “Beauregard.” >:3

Plus some doodles I thought of during work, and a lighthearted poke at myself lol.

[mxrcurysb1tch]

𓂃⋆.⟢ Astrology observations pt. VII ⟢ .⋆𓂃

｡𖦹° Hi my loves! I Hope you’re all doing well. Don’t forget that you can send me any astrology related questions to my asks and I will reply the best I can! (Please note that I don’t do vedic, persona charts or super minor asteroids). As always, take what resonates and leave the rest! <3

｡𖦹° 8th house synastry is the energy of unrequited obsession. It feels absolutely magnetic. Naturally, being the 8th house, the obsession will be very secretive and can involve frequently checking their socials, following them and just “happening” to be at the same place at the same time… generally just creeping on them in secret. The connection is likely to be very one-sided, with the house person being much more intrigued and concerned with the planet person. The planet person may be completely oblivious to these feelings. The house person may even be deluded into thinking there is a mutual connection. It can sometimes feel like being torn apart by the sheer weight of this longing and the impossibility of it all.

｡𖦹° 1h: Lilith/Pluto/Saturn/Capricorn/Scorpio: you probably have been told you have a resting b!tch face or just a mean looking face in general. Everyone thinks you look intimidating or angry or unapproachable. Don’t worry though, you’re baddass.

｡𖦹° Moon in the 1h synastry: The moon person is inclined to share their inner feelings with the house person because they feel intrinsically understood and comforted by them. The house person seems to instinctually know what the moon person is feeling and will know what to do to cheer them up and validate their emotions. I have this with one of my friends, his moon in my 1h, and despite us not being all that close, he opened up to me about something emotionally traumatic that happened in his life and I found myself compelled to do everything I could to make it better. We’re now really close because of that experience.

｡𖦹° I’ve noticed that 8th & 12th house natives have this interesting thing where they don’t always need direct experiences to learn lessons. I feel like they pick up on subtleties very easily so they can learn life lessons extremely fast and even without direct experience. They absorb the energy from those around them, learning what to do and what not to do just by intuiting and observing. Their lessons may be very psychic/emotional/mental rather than being outward so they can sometimes feel that though they have all of the same wisdom (and usually more) than their peers, they lack the concrete tangible experiences to go along with it and they can sometimes feel ‘left out’ of or unable to relate to the physical world.. They can also sometimes treat the physical world like it is optional or just not worth their time. 8th housers especially can develop a lot of apathy.

｡𖦹° Capricorn mars is the warrior placement. Mars is exalted in Capricorn and it is for a reason. Unless they also have other more emotional placements or afflictions, these people never ever throw fits. Instead, they calmly get on with whatever life has handed them and make the best of it every time. They are adept at turning pain into power and being extremely resourceful. They may have come from poverty or lack or even abuse but they do not wallow in it or allow it to stop them. These people have the drive and ambition to accomplish their goals despite any obstacle and that is truly an admirable trait.

｡𖦹° Libra moon with Aries Mercury is such an interesting opposition to have because they’re always talking a big game about all the thrills and dramas going on in their lives and all the people that have gotten on their bad side, who they hate and such but when you actually observe them in action they’re very accepting, easygoing people who don’t actually start drama or have these “wild” moments at all.

｡𖦹° it is really important for cardinal signs, especially moon to do something active or physical to get out of an emotional rut or stagnation. Transmuting and expelling energy is super important for them and creating something can help them to feel they’ve accomplished something for the day. Feeling useful and productive is extremely important for cardinal energy. Exercise is the biggest one imo but it could also be channeling energy into work, creative endeavours or even taking the focus off oneself and looking to helping others instead. Anything that is proactive. It may not help them to do a more passive activity or rest before they have had this release of stagnant energy because they might wind up more frustrated than before.

[starsandsuch]

Observations about how men from each Nakshatra act in dating & relationships 🏹 👩‍❤️‍👨 💌

Spilling the tea on men through the nakshatras , thank me later ladies 😌😉😏

Disclaimer : Mostly observations of public figures / personal experience/ what I’ve heard from friends. Feel free to add your experience!!

TW: some of these are really honest or 18+

➽──────────────❥

Ashwini men: very childish no matter how old they are. Can be possessive, kinda psycho with a violent streak.

Bharani men: don’t have much notes about them but from what I heard they are extremely possessive// many girls haves told me they’ve been stalked by bharani men. When their love is unrequited they will never let it go. Traditional and takes care of women. Masculine.

Krittika men: goofy and funny personality. Enjoys being babied by their partner.

Rohini men: know how to be the perfect storybook gentlemen. Prince Charming vibes. Very devotional to their partner. Seemingly innocent but are very s3xual individuals. Lowkey perverts. Can be stalkers.

Strives to satisfy their sexual craving within a relationship but will cheat on their partner to do so. Don’t put anything past them.

Mrigashira men: very intentional with who they chose to date. Specific criteria that only makes sense to them. The type to have a bunch of exes that all look identical to each other.

Seem like big heauxs but are loverboys on the low. They know how to please women on a fundamental level, theee most romantic and thoughtful gifts ever.

They like dating outside of their race, they tend to like girls who are flawless looking. If a Mrigashira man likes you, just know you’re probably a 10.

They can be misogynistic but are simultaneously obsessed with the opposite sex. They are really cute when they’re in love. They love playing mind games though.

Tend to be pretty boys, I notice they often have gay allegations on their reputations. They give bisexual vibes even if they’re straight.

Ardra men: similar to Mrigashira they are lover boys. They are used to dealing with rejection or unrequited love connections. They love hard but have trouble finding the right person for them , causing heartbreak in their love lives.

They are traditional in relationships. They act sad and emotional to get girls to like them. Their sad boy act is authentic sometimes but they are huge fboys too. Emotionally manipulative. Loves doing romantic gestures for their lovers. Very thoughtful gift giver.

Punarvasu men: they are like the ideal husband archetype . Caring, traditional, effectionate, generous. They are naturally feminine and understands what a women needs. However, they are very passive tho and end up being cucks in their relationships.

They attract more assertive women that energetically over power them. Classic Jupiter dominant man trope. Gets played a lot. Often friend zoned a lot too. Has weird fantasies.

➽──────────────❥

Pushya men: traditional and like taking care of a woman. They love pretty b!tches so if a Pushya guy likes you , you’re top tier. They are heauxs tho.

Ashlesha men: have serious mommy issues that get in the way of their romantic relationships. They are innately feminine and struggle expressing their masculinity in a healthy way. Very draining individuals. Tend to be romantic and generous, they are promiscuous tho.

Magha men: enjoys princess treatment from women, they like to be pursued by women. They are withholding with their energy and resources and usually women who date them leave the relationship with less then they started with. Misogynistic tendencies.

Purva Phalguni men: they tend to have all the qualities that women desire from men in relationships. Romantic , protective, generous , they are good at s3x. They are very devoted and romantic in a monogamous relationship. However they often have scandals in their love life that spoil their relationships and reputation.

They are very sexual and will go to great lengths to satisfy their sexual desires. These men have HIGH body counts. Usually involved in taboo relationships.

Uttara phalguni men: seem innocent and orderly but are s3x freaks. They are womanizers and pretend to treat women well to keep a good reputation but can have a negative side to them in private. Pervert-Chad vibes.

➽──────────────❥

Hasta men: cheap and feminine. They lie a lot. Haven’t heard great things about them.

Chitra men: feminine and tend to be himbos. I don’t think I ever met a straight chitra man? If they are straight they like being chased by women. Pretty boys.

Swati men: “Prince Charming takes you on a whirlwind romance” they like impressing women and like to be traditional. They have hot and cold vibes tho most women find impossible to deal with. They are eccentric and flighty. Emotionally unstable.

Vishaka men: will fight for the woman they really like. “Warrior/solider who defends the honor of the princess he’s in love with”. They are thots tho. Have a lot of drama in their love lives.

Anuradha men: falls in love hard. Devotional and romantic, will do grand romantic gestures for their partners. But tend to have addictive personalities and violent tendencies. Can have s3x addiction. Will stalk their love interests. Some have really creepy vibes and weird fantasies. Emotionally turbulent.

Jyeshta men: treat relationships like a game, they like collecting trophies and prizes, so they will date many women at once. They are generous and manly and good at manipulating women. Seemingly enjoy the attention of relationships more than the actual relationship. They like to chase. Lie a lot.

Mula men: traditional and kinda boring. Epitome of “she’s Barbie and he’s just Ken”. They are goal oriented, ambitious and logical. They tend to prioritize their career and desire a “trophy wife” to compliment them. Have stoic personalities and are straightforward and blunt.

Purva Ashdha men: traditional gentleman archetype. Very romantic in relationships. Kinda tend be players though. Pretty boys.

Uttara ashdha men: traditional and fatherly. Usually dates Sun nakshatra/ Leo women or women who have solar qualities like them. They like dating the “female version of themselves”. Doesn’t really understand the complexities of women. Typical “he’s just Ken” vibes.

➽──────────────❥

Shravana men: not really assertive in relationships. Likes hanging with the bros more than devoting self to a relationship. Not the most committed, but can be, but only if it’s connected to their social status. Usually marries their high school sweetheart. Not much notes for them.

Dhanishta men: complex relationships with women. A “bachelor” Nakshatra. Some of them hate women or only have a partner bc it’s socially acceptable. Likes the social status that comes with being with a beautiful woman. Doesn’t have successful relationships till later in life. Best suited towards “friends to lovers” relationships. Some are kinda innocent and virginal. Haven’t heard great d reports about them.

Shatabhisha men: surprisingly act very fatherly in relationships, enjoys taking care of the partner. Not the most emotional in relationships but tend to handle responsibilities well. Likes hanging w the bros prob more than their girlfriend. This nak in general is like the “ghost nakshatra” they will ghost pretty much anyone , and are hard to connect with. Sneaky & secretive. Tall & handsome.

Purvabhadrapada men: acts like a gentleman. huge heauxs. Although when they find “the one” they’ll move heaven and earth for her. Gomez and Morticia Addams vibes. Nonchalant about most relationships but women tend to go crazy for them. Usually has the hots for one women but will entertain many he doesn’t really care about. Makes great fathers.

Uttabhadrapada men: odd personalities in general. Can have trouble connecting with the opposite sex. Don’t have much notes about them. Kinda boring.

Revati men: are generous, assertive masculine. If they want you they’ll show it. Tend to like having a mommy figure as a partner. They are heauxs tho and always have a big roster. Very s3xual individuals. Major players. Immature.

[signanothername]

Can we have a more in depth look into how you think Dream and Nightmare experience autism and how it affects them?

YESSSSS LETS GOOOOO!!!!

Ok before we start this ramble, I’d like to emphasize how important the time period Dream and Nightmare grew up in, it was a time period in which anything mental health related was immediately connected with “demons” and “possession”

I like to say that the twins are masked Autistics a lot, but in truth, I like to think they both started off without masking their Autism at all, they never saw anything wrong with the way they behaved (cause there indeed wasn’t anything wrong), they were comfortable with who they were and how they behaved, it was their normal in a world that saw it as abnormal, but it was when the villagers started getting in the picture that problems started

Nightmare experiences his Autism through his special interest in learning new things and reading books, hyper empathy, isolation, avoiding eye contact, semi-repulsion to touch if he wasn’t the one to initiate it, understimulation, extreme difficulty in understanding his own emotions (and by extension, difficulty in expressing them), generally being blunt, brutally honest and direct, and selective mutism, Nightmare mostly stims by repeating certain sounds or phrases and humming

Dream experiences his Autism through his special interest in nature (especially flowers), precious stones as well as sewing, difficulty understanding social cues, selective mutism, extreme sensitivity to bright lights (he has a love/hate relationship with the sun) and loud noises, overstimulation, low empathy, and learning difficulties especially when it comes to language, Dream tends to stim by flapping his hands or stomping his feet

Both the twins perfer to follow a routine, however, Nightmare tends to plan his days carefully, and finds any change in his routine extremely distressing to the point it can cause him to experience a meltdown if he couldn’t think of a quick solution

Dream finds a change in his routine distressing too, but his reaction is a bit milder, he tends to get anxious and starts stimming to calm himself down all while he works on a way to get his routine back on track

Speaking of meltdowns, whenever the twins are extremely distressed, Nightmare is more likely to experience a shutdown while Dream is more likely to experience a meltdown, that doesn’t mean the opposite can’t happen sometimes, but it really depends on the situation

Then the villagers came and abused Nightmare into masking his Autism, using his Autistic traits as an excuse to demonize him, made comments about how he must be “possessed”, meanwhile they abused Dream into masking by making sweet tainted mean spirited comments about any behavior he exhibited that felt “abnormal” to them, they’d say things like “honey, it’s rude not to look someone in the eyes when speaking to them” or how he should “use his words” when Dream felt like he couldn’t

Both Nightmare and Dream internalized such comments deeply, and started subconsciously masking their Autism, they were children at the time after all, and especially after the apple incident, Nightmare truly believed he might be a demon or at least possessed by one for centuries after, cause for so long Nightmare couldn’t find a logical explanation in his beloved books for why he behaves the way he does

The word “Autism” never even existed back then, Nightmare spent years of his life researching for any logical explanation only to hit a dead end each time, and now that he’s out in the multiverse seeing how many people don’t really exhibit the same behavior he and his twin do, he was trying desperately to reassure himself that he can’t truly be a “demon” considering Dream exhibits the same “abnormal” behaviors (it rarely made him feel better about himself), even as an adult, the thought of being a “demon” distresses Nightmare so much that he sometimes experiences a meltdown cause of it

Nightmare eventually gives up trying to understand himself and instead starts consciously masking his Autism, he starts forcing himself to look people in the eye when he speaks or spoken to, he stops himself from stimming, he forces himself to speak when he’s overwhelmed, he starts hiding his love for his special interest (he has an entire big library of books yet he’d force himself not to spend most of his time there), he stops isolating himself and forces himself not to avert from anyone touching him, all to appear “normal”, all while it’s physically painful and emotionally draining to him

Same thing with Dream, except Dream never consciously masks, it’s all subconsciously, he forces himself to make eye contact, he stops stimming when people are around, he forces himself to act “normal” when he’s overstimulated, he forces himself to speak even when he feels like he can’t, he hides his special interest and puts on a mask of empathy even when he can’t truly understand/ tune in with the pain or feelings others experience but rather only able to understand their pain in a logical manner (and it makes him feel so damn guilty, cause Dream loves to help people, he thinks that he should be able to feel sad when others do), he pretends to understand social cues when in reality he only mimics how others act in social situations, he blames his learning difficulties on “time constraints” and how he simply doesn’t have the time to sit down and learn

Sometimes both the twins’ masks slip away when they’re extremely overwhelmed, other times, they let their masks slip when they’re alone, and it only adds to their stress cause they feel a sort of fucked up guilt and shame over not acting in a “normal” way, other times it’s a guilty pleasure, they almost reached a point in which they think their Autistic traits are some sort of privilege, punishing themselves if they mess up by not giving themselves the relief of letting the mask slip when alone (like forcing themselves not to stim)

The fucked up truth is, their masks also really impairs them socially, cause sometimes they get anxious thinking about being normal, that it might distract them or cause them to lose track of things

And even when the centuries passed by and science developed and changed and the idea of demonic possession became outdated and mental health became more prominent, and the word “Autism” came to be, neither twins really know they have Autism, neither of them even know what Autism is, Dream doesn’t have the resources to understand what it is, and Nightmare gave up trying to understand himself a long time ago to realize he’s not demonic for it

Will they eventually know about it, understand themselves better and get the support they deserve? It’ll probably take as many years to undo the damage done but I like to believe they do

A kinda part 2

[scorpionickiss]

Asteroid Vulcan 4464

TW: trauma mentioned.

here i will try to provide my own interpretation on the asteroid :p i am not a professional astrologer so take everything with a grain of salt.

vulcan is the Roman god of fire and destruction. he was the second son of jupiter and juno and the husband of venus. sometimes, he would be summoned to calm down fires. he was the father of caeculus, founder of Praeneste. his greek equivalent is hephaestus. he is considered the god of oven trade, arms, jewelry, metalworking.

he plots revenge against his mother, crafting her a deceitful golden throne. he did that because she exiled him for being born ugly. after being thrown off from mount olympus, he landed into the ocean, where he was raised by a sea nymph, thetis. his interest for fire and metalworking happened there.

during his adventures under the sea, he found the remains of a fisherman's fire, thus an unextinguished coal fascinated him, as it was still glowing. he took this coal to his grotto and made a fire with it. in the second day after he ignited it, he noticed that ”certain stones sweated iron/silver/gold.” in the third day the cooled metal was formed into jewelry.

one day, vulcan's foster mother left the grotto to attend a dinner party in mount olympus, wearing a necklace that vulcan made for her. ultimately, she got noticed by juno, who asked where was the necklace from. having thetis' reaction, juno became suspicious and later she realised how her son became a blacksmith.

so, what could this mean in a chart?

IN MY OPINION it may refer to places where you are forced to work on under pressure of heavy emotions. it refers to places where you have to work on your own and with some support outside of your family. in can refer to places where you may feel abandoned and where you fear abandonment, even places that caused such fears. surely, it represents areas of life that causes most trauma for you and parts of yourself that you are forced to transform, but it is for the greater good because once those purified, you will meet so much prosperity based on the placement of the asteroid.

ARIES/1ST HOUSE  1, 13, 25°.

you may have had a lot of transformative experiences regarding your image, and the way you act. depending on how the 1st house behaves in your chart, you are forced to do whatever it takes to achieve your purpose and to make yourself heard. if any planets are in the first house, you are forced to work on any hardships caused by those planets.

TAURUS/2ND HOUSE  2, 14, 26°

if you have vulcan in this placement, i feel like you might have gone through narcissistic abuse. someone might have been overly possesive towards you. if you are a woman and this asteroid is in afflicted aspect (square, opposition and even semisquare) to neptune/saturn/jupiter, i feel like you might have suffered a lot because you had a lot of expectations upon you.

GEMINI/3RD HOUSE 3, 15, 27°

you might have had a lot of conflicts in your near environment. you might have been bullied a lot in school and maybe by your neighbours. you might have been mocked for the way of your speaking. however, over time, you might become a master communicator and might have a job in areas relating to communication.

CANCER/4TH HOUSE  4, 16, 28°

might have had an absent mother figure. a lot of pressure in the family and might have suffered because of people who have extreme views about homeland. because you suffered in your family, you might have had tendencies to plot revenge against them. your mother figure might have not supported you in pursuing your dreams. could grow bitter over mother.

LEO/5TH HOUSE  5, 17, 29°.

you could be a pretty isolated individual. you are a very creative individual but any creative endeavor of yours might have been shamed on. might have been bullied as a kid because of the way you expressed yourself. i think that drama could surround you, you might have been involved in drama during your childhood, which might have created psychological blockages that affected self expression.

VIRGO/6H HOUSE  6, 18°

you might have been shunned away for being too kind. i feel like you could have been the kind kid who got bullied a lot for no reason. could have some health issues that you are forced to work through, and you will be very blessed once you do. i feel like you are forced to work under a lot of pressure in your work place and this effort would be greatly appreciated.

LIBRA/7TH HOUSE 7, 19°

if you have this, i feel like you might have abandoment issues because of some past trauma related to relationships. you might have been criticised to how you connect to others and this might have led to an isolation. might have had difficulties in marriages, and the damage caused by them might have also made you isolated.

SCORPIO/8TH HOUSE 8, 20°

this is very intense. with this placement, and individual could have gone through a lot of transformative experiences while developing. this might have been very discouraging to them, and any time they tried to rise up they were punished. however, with this aspect, i feel like all these things forced you to reach a higher, purified version of yourself.

SAGGITARIUS/9TH HOUSE 9, 21°

you could be very fascinated with spirituality and be shamed for it. you could say that you are spiritually gifted, but there might have been times where people did not believe you. you might find yourself fearing abandonment from people from different cultural backgrounds. you could be very wise, but maybe nobody took you seriously until you grew up.

CAPRICORN/10TH HOUSE 10, 22°

might have been very affected by male figures, like father, boss, and such. IF you are healed, i feel like you could feel very secure around masculine people and benefit a lot from them and if not, i feel like some insecurities related to abandoment might arise because of their behaviour. if you are a woman, you could have female rage because such presences.

AQUARIUS/11TH HOUSE 11, 23°

might have abandonment issues because of friendships that were gained in an online environment or in large groups. i feel like you might be an idealsitic person, but people never respected your ideas until they actually saw achievements of yours if you had any. might be very quiet in friend groups.

PISCES/12TH HOUSE 12, 24°

with this placement, you might have been prone to delusions during developing. like saggitarius/9h, i feel like you could have be highly intuitive but people could take advantage because of that. you might have been idealising people and things and you might have suffered because of that. i think you are an empathetic individual, but you could have been shamed for it and shunned away.

A/N a more in depth study on this asteroid will be on my patreon SOON.

if these do not resonate, consult the PERSONA CHART of this asteroid. also, if the degree of the placement is low(close to 30°) it may mean that the impact of this asteroid might not be felt as intensely. (29° AND 18° MAY MAKE AN EXCEPTION) of course, the impact of this asteroid also depends on the other planets/points/asteroids surrounding it. - however, in my opinion, the intensity of this asteroid may not be smoothened in the case of the following placements of degrees: saturn/cancer/mars/mercury degrees are bound to saturn/cancer/mars/mercury/pluto.

want a reading for this asteroid?

how to read the persona chart of this asteroid

[sillybruja]

random placement observations: natal chart edition pt. 1

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional astrologer, this purely my observation based on repetitive patterns I notice within the signs, placements, houses etc. Take what I say with a grain of salt and understand not every astrology observation will resonate.

Aquarius moons and their mommy issues go under the radar too much. In my experience, I have noticed Aquarius moons have the most complicated, sometimes love/hate relationship with their mother's. There's usually some sort of disconnect between the placement person & their mom, and it is usually because the mom fails to fully understand Aquarius moon's personality, or need for personal freedom. Mothers to these individuals tend to have issues with boundaries -- either they are too overbearing, or too under involved -- which leads the Aqua moon person to sometimes want to crawl out of their own skin. I've also notice ppl with this placement having trouble with coddling by a mother figure, or generally having a harder time gaining independence due to the specific or unique way the person was raised.

Venus conjunct pluto: This aspect, to me, manifests very differently based on what chart it is in. Venus and Pluto making contact usually can suggest some obsession / hyperfocus becoming present in your life. While on one hand this can definitely suggest that a person with this natal placement can tend to be obsessive in love, or with money, material resources, etc - it usually mostly suggests the types of people, situations and relationships we attract. People with this people can naturally attract a lot of eyes and attention -- good and bad. Due to pluto's contact - the planet of death, obsession, sex etc -- with the love planet venus, this can suggest attracting obsessive partners. This can manifest in both a negative, and positive way. This placement can absolutely attract their spouse, love of their life etc -- but they can just as easily attract lots of unwanted, creepy attention. Also, if you have this placement there's a good chance you were sexualized as a child, or much sooner than you should have been -- I am sorry 😞

1H Luminary placements: these placements get such a bad rep in astrology imo lol. While the first house is the house of the self, this does not suggest a person with sun/moon in 1H being extremely selfish (which pop astrology suggests). In my experience, people with these specific placements have them to learn what it means to find & live in your own truth. I find that people with these placements (sometimes venus 1H and Mercury 1H too) are very selfless and might actually neglect giving themselves the energy of the planet in their first house. For example, to the outside world, a Sun in 1H person might seem confident, extroverted even (sometimes, the opposite is true) but on the inside, this person actually struggles with their identity and confidence a lot. they ask themselves who they are, who they want to be, as much as they think about breakfast. They can be too hard on themselves which can make them hyperfocus on themselves, their lives, their goals etc., -- but it is literally part of their life purpose to go through these cycles which to the outside world, looks like the person is being selfish. Same is said for Moon in 1H --these people are considered manipulative, secretive, very emotional -- but the truth is, they might have gone their whole lives holding onto emotions that were never allowed to be released. Perhaps this individuals pushes their own feelings away to always make space for others. These people are extremely empathetic and while there will be a few rotten apples out there, the good majority of people with this placement are not awful emotionally selfish people, they are just here to learn how to honor, accept, and transmute their emotions just as often as they help others do the same.

Having lots of 3H, 6H, 10H placements usually makes a person really busy, or manifests as someone with anxiety especially anxiety that arises from the lack of work. These placements are the real workaholics but to an extreme level. I know someone with a 6H stellium & 10H Saturn who at one point worked 3 jobs and was a full-time uni. student. Same person is now a NICU nurse, actively getting two more masters degrees, so yeah, y'all like to keep busy. I have noticed these placements have big issues with time management, especially when it comes to any personal time you give yourself (do you even give yourself any time to wind down? like lets bfr 🙈). As a taurus moon I feel compelled to remind you that you literally need rest to accomplish all the things you want to do! What good is pushing past your limits if you feel exhausted constantly?

Jupiter in 4H -- I have a question, how was your childhood? I feel this placement can manifest in lots of ways, I feel for some of you maybe you had lots of siblings, more brother's than sisters. You could be the younger child. Jupiter is about expanding whatever it touches, so when its in the 4H it is essentially "growing" in that area. This could mean having lots of siblings, but in the same extreme, this could mean having none. The could have manifested in a happy, healthy home & family dynamic. This can just as well manifest as serious family trauma (generational trauma), or serious and repetitive familial themes and karmic cycles. You are here to learn something about balance in regards of the home, lineage, magic, traditions, wisdom, and love in general. Because Jupiter is in the 4H here, you will have a lot of opportunity to have luck in terms of buying a home, relocating, or in general "leveling up" in a secure way. But jupiter does not give just to give... if you want the blessings of jupiter you can't be stagnant -- this is something else jupiter in 4H seems to struggle with. I've noticed y'all can get lazy 😭 If you grew up in a happy home (hell or not) and had a parent (s) figure do everything for you, then the time you hit adulthood will be a rude awakening. Same is said for those with overbearing or controlling parents with this placement. Remember that jupiter is not just about luck, its mostly about expansion, so having things go your way, or having a support system that fails to teach you how to be independent will make things difficult for you when you have to be. Using Jupiter in 4H energy to your benefit looks like breaking generational curses, ending self-destructive patterns, watching negative habits such as alcoholism, drug abuse, and gambling, and in general, actively making better choices.

[philosophicalparadox]

In honor of my not feeling good:

Some Signs of having a Fever (and you might not know it)

Feeling cold even when the temperature is warm or you are buried in blankets

Chills that come and go

Headache (very common, particularly behind the eyes)

Mild to moderate nausea

Feeling like your body is really hot and your extremities are cold

Racing or thudding heart

Changes in breathing, faster and shallower usually but sometimes the opposite

Cold sweating

Fatigue

Wandering or incoherent thoughts or severe brain fog

Achy joints

Weakness

Feeling sick when you drink something cold or if room temp water feels cold

Noticing your eyes water a lot

A hot, sticky feeling in the back of the throat

Getting dizzy all of a sudden or experiencing vertigo when moving

Your eyes physically hurt

extra crackly joints.

Restlessness

Just. Odd behavior in general. Maybe you got the sudden urge to call someone you haven’t talked to in years. Maybe you just feel like laying on the floor for no apparent reason. Maybe you get the idea that the wall might taste good. Goes along with wandering and incoherent thoughts.

Sudden anxiety that compels you to find other people. Anyone’s company is better than none and you can’t explain why. The idea of being by yourself is suddenly unpleasant. I refer to this as the Puppy Response.

Alternatively a compulsion to hide and bunker down away from everyone else. I call this the Cat Response.

What I call Panic or Manic Circling where you’re a specific kind of restless that’s compelling you to find somewhere to be but you don’t know where “it” wants you to go or why, so you just kinda go in circles hoping the answer jumps out at you.

Bizarre emotional states. Maybe you’re extra moody, or you’re ugly crying for no obvious reason. Maybe you’re unusually elated or happy, (that one’s always sus to me) or get upset over absolutely nothing. Maybe a depression spiral hits you out of nowhere and won’t quit.

Perhaps it’s because I have OCD too(brand spanking new diagnosis), but I find that compulsive comfort behaviors are suddenly much more frustrating or nitpicky when I have a fever or don’t feel good in general.

Now all of these can happen independently of a fever and for lots of other reasons, but I have found that if more than like three are happening all at the same time, I should check my temperature.

I have an unusual quirk (though it’s not really odd for ADHD or autistics, much less AuDHD) in that my body is absolutely terrible at telling me something is wrong and tends to find the weirdest ways of expressing that.

I have, for the record, checked my temperature when I had like 9 of these all coinciding and I actually really felt like I had a fever, and have a temp of a whole whopping 99.5. (Like now) I have also checked my temperature when I only had 3, all the emotional ones, and my temperature was 104.2. For some reason the higher my fever gets the less able to feel it I become, so I’ve learned to do a self check of these symptoms often.

I feel like these may be useful for anyone writing a sick character and wondering how they could possibly not know they’re feverish, especially very feverish. Plus it’s interesting to see if other people experience these odd things.

[inchidentally]

I dw to go too deep into it bc the emotions are too high and the extremes are not fun places to stir up etc etc etc

but the way post Monza felt like a joint experience in misery for Lando and Oscar that they then took a joint approach to with the media, followed by a joint sense of relief and exuberance following this race...

and I always bang on about their joint decision to not do the whole joint content/bromance PR stuff or post when they have down time/social time together and asked to have both their drivers rooms accessible to only each other behind a door barring everyone else - this is exactly why. the job they have to do individually and together is far easier when they can keep fans and media - and Netflix - on the outside and just get on with it in private.

bc there have been drivers in their thirties with 10+ years of experience who haven't kept things as mature and balanced as these two and while the extremes of fandoms and media are projecting melodramas and hatred and conspiracy theories onto them, they deserve way more credit than they're given for maintaining such consistent unity and calm considering they've been thrown into the hottest oil fire situations with a team still struggling to get used to being front runners again, all while only having been teammates a season and a half and both under 25.

like I always say, I keep fully expecting them to at some point be normal and take swipes at each other sometimes and be in a funk w each other for a week or so before being buddies again etc etc the usual stuff for teammates who like each other but are also close rivals on track in a front runner team. and that may still happen and it still won't be cause for alarm for me! but goddamn they've faced some hellish situations and held their composure and traveled home laughing and smiling together each time and showing up for work at the races or MTC beaming into each other's faces. all while never once having a typical PR bromance to uphold/maintain for fans or therefore benefit from. they're just... wanting and choosing to respect and like each other when they literally don't need to do any more than tolerate each other - and could've stuck with rooms opposite management's offices like they used to. with the amount of people desperate for them to hate each other and the fact that teammate rivalries actually generate more engagement and headlines than friendly teammates like, they're (currently) choosing to huddle together and discuss and reach agreement so they can get back out and do the best they can with a team that's still strategically trying to learn how to be at the front again.

[schizoidvision]

🤔 Are Schizoids Simply Skeptical?

People sometimes describe schizoids as extreme skeptics... as if we’re stuck in constant doubt, endlessly questioning, always pulling back. And on the surface, that can seem accurate. But I don’t think that’s the full picture. What looks like skepticism from the outside may actually reflect something more related to our internal structure.

Skepticism usually implies curiosity combined with confrontation... a way of challenging what’s presented in order to test its truth. But what we tend to experience isn’t really doubt... it’s a form of disengagement. A kind of automatic detachment from shared assumptions and external narratives.

We're not standing in opposition to the world... we just never fully merged with it to begin with.

There’s a difference between questioning because you're unsure, and remaining outside because you were never entirely in. Many of us didn’t deliberately choose to be observers... it’s simply the position we found ourselves in. When the outer world doesn’t match our way of functioning... or when it demands emotional responses we don’t naturally generate, it makes sense to fall back on our own logic and way of thinking.

So maybe we’re not skeptical in the traditional sense. Our orientation is inward. We observe... we interpret... but from a place of distance, not defiance. To others, that distance might look like skepticism. But for us, it’s more about maintaining coherence in a world that doesn’t feel mentally or emotionally compatible.

And yes, that sometimes means not believing in much of what others present us with... not because we’re cynical, but because belief often requires adoption and immersion... and these things often take us out of our way.

So no... I wouldn’t say we’re “simply skeptical.” What we’re doing is more about self-preservation than opposition. If we seem distant, cold, or hard to convince, it’s probably not because we doubt everything... it’s because we’re staying aligned with how our minds are structured to process the world.

Schizoid Education Videos

[creatingblackcharacters]

hello! i'd like to start this by apologizing in advance for my rambling and if i end up saying anything that could be offensive or insensitive

ik how that sounds, the truth is that i am a little bit scared of coming here bc of previous experiences i've had asking for advice on the internet when it comes to Blackness in my writing. at the time i was an overly excited kid who didn't know better and i have learned from my mistakes, but the fear of offending ppl has kept me from doing any more questioning and i am done w that! i am white. i was raised by white ppl. i've had very little interaction with Black ppl. i am ignorant, and i want to change that, and i don't want this anxiety to hold me back from learning, so here we go:

for context: i've been playing a lot of interactive fiction games, and the way that i find the most fun to play them is by having a premade cast of OCs for me to toss at Situations and see what happens. i find that to be a really interesting and different way of developing a character, with the downside of being limited by options that were predetermined by someone else. the two characters i play with the most ended up with confident, sometimes downright defiant personalities, and i wanted a character who was the opposite so i could explore each game more fully... well, that character is Black, and that's where i think i might have made a mistake

Cynder, the character in question, started out with the objective to be a more shy, meek, submissive character. i genuinely didn't realize this was a problem until 5 min ago when i scrolled through your blog a bit before opening the ask box. i want to keep their shyness, and maybe their meek attitude, but i do want to know how i could work with a character like that in order to make them better? they might have started as a premade for me to use in place of a self-insert, but much like my other characters who started out that way they're developing to become much more, and one day i want them to have a story of their own

Cynder has anxiety and wears their heart on their sleeve. they're very friendly, but very shy, and prone to crying when they feel very strong emotions. i think part of their character arc is definitely becoming more confident and coming out of their shell a bit more, but they're happy to not be the center of attention. the major issue is their lack of a backbone. ngl, i wanted a doormat character, and that's exactly what Cynder is. they want to do good and have a strong sense of morals, but their first instinct when panicked or faced w danger is either "freeze", "flee" or "fawn". they're extremely insecure and prone to manipulation, even when they know they're being used, because they lack the confidence to think they could do better. that's a trauma thing, and is definitely going to be worked on, bc otherwise what's the fun of it, but that doesn't change the fact that's p much their default state. they're smart, but not a genius, they're extremely observant, very tuned to people's emotions, prone to guilting themself for things they couldn't have helped with, and their biggest weakness is their lack of physical strenght, but they're extremely fast and very good at stealth. they love music and drawing, and are overall a sweetheart who wins people over by just being extremely genuine and kind in their friendliness

basically their character archetype is "shy baby who really needs to learn to love themself". how can i work with that with a Black character? do i just scrap the whole concept and go for something else?

another aspect of Cynder is the fact that they're usually religious. once again, this is bc my other characters always end up being atheists of some kind, and Cynder came in to fill that "hole" when playing games that involve a religious aspect, be it fantasy religion or irl religion. im not sure how much i'd like to explore that on my own, but it is a important enough aspect of theirs that i thought i should bring it up; this is gonna sound very vague, bc i genuinely dont have a specific religion in mind (im not christian, i know nothing abt christianity or any other religion that involves the bible, and honestly i'd much rather work w a made up religion than anything else if im gonna be writing abt this stuff) but do you have any pointers for writing religious Black characters? is there anything i should avoid or be aware of, any harmful stereotypes and the like?

another issue with Cynder is their design. they have dark brown skin with warm undertones, black coily/kinky hair kept in stylized cornrows, and hazel/amber eyes. im worried abt their eyes. they're meant to be downright golden, a light brown that looks gold when hit by sunlight, that is when their eyes aren't just straight up yellow in a more fantasy setting. i know the problems with giving Black characters features such as light eyes, and i wanted to know if that'd be a problem w a character like a Cynder, who has such a different eye color?

i have a lot of other questions, but this ask is already extremely long and probably messy. thank you so much for reading all of this, and thank you if you decide to answer it as well!

There's nothing wrong with your story description so far. Why would meekness be inherently bad for a Black character to have? I will say, if this is one that you'd feel better leaving as your self insert, then you don't have to make them Black- it's okay to have your own self insert character! I'd far rather you do that, than project onto Blackness and... Not get it.

Nothing you've described would anything that is somehow inherently different because that character is Black, so much as it is the perspective that they, you, and the audience will have on them will change because they are Black. So them being a "shy baby learning to love themselves" is not something that we wouldn't experience! We'd have a lot more to face about it, even!

I've made a post with resources about Black Christianity, I'll see if I can find it and post the link in the comments.

Did you give him those eyes because you thought lighter eyes were better than darker ones? That's the perspective you need to approach this from. Why did you do it?

I'm gonna be honest, I know you said you scrolled for a bit, but I would highly suggest going through all of my lessons and all the links contained within to help broaden your education of this topic. Your confidence will increase with more knowledge. Because it feels like you are insecure about your lack of awareness of Black people, and rather than just asking for me- or anyone else on the Internet- to validate your fears and give you the answer, which runs the risk of them being not nice (because yeah, I'll admit, it doesn't sound great when you start with that) it would take more work but benefit you far more in the long run to do the reading. 👍��

[youremyheaven]

Omg thank you so much, now everything is much clearer! 🧡🧡

ur welcome angel 💛

for the unversed, this is an overly simplified summary of the mahadashas (keep in mind that this is a massive generalization and how u experience ur dasha depends on ur chart/placements)

Sun mahadasha - confident, slayy gaining recognition? whatever u do is a hit or if u have an afflicted Sun then the exact opposite 😬

Moon- 🤠 life is like a melodrama, extreme emotional highs and lows, lots of situations with women/mother,, imagine just being emotional for a couple of years and not being able to turn it off? yeah, that

Mercury- 💸🤑💸🤑cash money eraaa, use ur head and get that baggg

Venus- 😍✨🤌🏼trophy wife lifestyle even if ur not a woman or a wife, things just flow to u, people come to u like flies attracted to honey, whatever u do will be appreciated

Mars- 🏋️ girl boss era, could struggle with appearance but otherwise AMBITIOUS SLAYY

Jupiter - contrary to popular belief, Jupiter does not cover u in dollars bills, it tests u and if u are worthy, u will be rewarded

Saturn- 🥲learn everything slowly , be a late bloomer, learn things the hard way, struggle to keep up, wonder why u have to suffer more than others and then realise it's bc it's ur goddamn Saturn MD and then work your butt off to appease Saturn

Rahu- 🤪🥳😌 delusional era , on a serious note I feel like rahu md can make people paranoid bc they're literally too in their head 😬but it can give really exaggerated results and blow things out of proportion, I think doja cat is in rahu mahadasha rn and she's so different now compared to like her juicy era ??

Ketu 😳😤😩faith will help you bc nothing else will not to fearmonger but 😮‍💨girlies be so detached from life sometimes they stop living (figuratively or literally 💀) soooo many celebs have died during their Ketu MD im being so srs rn (not saying u will tho <3)

[venusianpulp]

Part 1 of Asteroids & Major Aspects

These are just some examples. I think, just like Tarot, it extremely important for peoples personal experiences and intuitive guidance helps create the whole interpretation from a chart by chart perspective, therefore... this would primarily help those of you who don't know the generak themes/are just starting out in astrology. Regardless, this is hyper-generalized as more of a starter guide:

Asteroid Juno:

The asteroid Juno represents marriage and commitment dynamics in astrology. Having significant aspects to Juno in a natal chart can reveal information about someone's approach to long-term partnerships:

Juno conjunct Sun/Moon - Commitment is central to one's identity and emotional needs. Loyal but may depend heavily on partner.

Juno conjunct Venus - Highly romantic nature. Idealistic in relationships. Strong desire for marriage or lifelong bonding.

Juno conjunct Mars - Sexual needs tied to intimacy. There can be contention around commitment needs.

Juno square Saturn - Difficulty with obligation in relationships. Fears of losing freedom or individuality through marriage.

Juno opposite Uranus - Drawn to unconventional relationships. Dislikes feeling "owned" or bound. Issues with fidelity.

Juno trine Jupiter - Faith in marriage and willingness to work through challenges. Expansive benefits from partnerships.

Juno quincunx Neptune - Yearning for soulmate union. Can sacrifice too much or ignore red flags when in love.

Aspects to Juno should be considered alongside the entire chart. But they can reveal someone's unique needs, wounds, potentials or lessons when it comes to long-term marriage and commitment. The house placement of Juno also adds additional context to these relationship tendencies.

Asteroid Ceres:

The asteroid Ceres represents nurturing, maternal instincts, and family/childhood issues in astrology. Having significant aspects to Ceres in a natal chart can indicate the following:

Ceres conjunct Moon - Deep need to care for others, especially children. Strong maternal instincts. Early childhood issues around nurturing may arise.

Ceres conjunct Venus - Expressing affection by providing food, comfort and security. Partners may take on child-like roles.

Ceres conjunct Mars - Nurturing drives or inhibits sexuality. Could indicate conflicts around parenting.

Ceres square Saturn - Difficulty nurturing oneself/others due to parental criticism or early life responsibility.

Ceres opposite Uranus - Nurturing patterns disrupted by sudden change. Rebellious response to restrictive mother.

Ceres trine Jupiter - Positive nurturing from mother and family. Natural talent for parenting, cooking, gardening.

Ceres quincunx Pluto - Intense need for security. Hunger for deep connection. Early power struggles around dependence.

Ceres Return - Time of reconnecting with these themes. Healing childhood issues. Revisiting parenting roles.

Aspects to natal Ceres help uncover your unique attachment style and talents/wounds around providing and receiving nurturance within families. Ceres' house placement adds more detail about where these dynamics play out.

Asteroid Pallas:

The asteroid Pallas represents wisdom, strategy, and political/social justice in astrology. Major aspects to Pallas in a natal chart indicate the following:

Pallas conjunct Mercury - Strong strategic thinking and gift for seeing multiple angles of a situation. Able to mediate conflicts.

Pallas conjunct Venus - Sense of justice and fairness applied to relationships and social connections. Diplomatic mediator.

Pallas conjunct Mars - Fights for beliefs, sometimes aggressively. May be combative communication style.

Pallas square Saturn - Difficulty employing practical strategy. Wisdom gained slowly through experience.

Pallas opposite Uranus - Innovative thinker but can be stubborn in views. Fights for radical change.

Pallas trine Jupiter - Expansive wisdom, big picture thinking. Natural lawyer or wise counselor. Lucky planning.

Pallas quincunx Pluto - Compulsive need to understand hidden agendas. Sees manipulation in all interactions.

Pallas Return - Period of reconnecting to inner wisdom and reassessing life strategies.

Pallas aspects in the natal chart illuminate your relationship to wisdom, discernment, strategy, and ability to negotiate. Pallas' house placement provides added context on applying these qualities to specific life areas.

Asteroid Vesta:

The asteroid Vesta represents devotion, focus, sacred rituals, and the temple of the self in astrology. Major aspects between Vesta and planets/points in a natal chart indicate:

Vesta conjunct Sun - Strong sense of inner purpose. Needs to dedicate self to meaningful cause for fulfillment.

Vesta conjunct Moon - Soulful devotion and emotional investment in what one holds sacred. Possible spiritual calling.

Vesta conjunct Mercury - Mental dedication to areas of focus and study. Disciplined thinker.

Vesta conjunct Venus - Deeply devoted in relationships but needs personal space respected. May be devoted to arts.

Vesta conjunct Mars - Drive to devote energy passionately but can lead to burnout without care.

Vesta square Saturn - Challenges in reconciling dedication with responsibilities. Tests of commitment

Vesta opposite Uranus - Needs freedom and humanity in what one dedicates to. Rebellious to dogma.

Vesta trine Neptune - Spiritual devotion comes naturally. Drawn to mysticism and esoteric rituals.

Vesta quincunx Pluto - Intense focus can lead to destructive tendencies without balance.

Vesta aspects reveal the positive and challenging ways one directs devotion, ritual, and sacred focus in life. Vesta's house and sign placements add more texture.

Asteroid Pholus:

The asteroid Pholus represents one's response to crisis, the unexpected, and where we may feel pressured to take extreme measures or actions. Major aspects to Pholus in a natal chart indicate:

Pholus conjunct Sun - Identity tied to managing crises. Drawn to emergency response and high pressure situations.

Pholus conjunct Moon - Heightened emotional reactions to the unexpected. Difficulty regulating feelings under duress.

Pholus conjunct Mercury - Strong mental strategizing to handle catastrophes. Tendency to give unsolicited advice when stressed.

Pholus conjunct Mars - Reacts urgently, aggressively when faced with disruption. Prone to impulsiveness under pressure.

Pholus square Saturn - Hardships build character and skills to handle predicaments. Can also cause rigidity and avoidance.

Pholus opposite Uranus - Rebellious reactions to turmoil. Uses shock value to shake things up.

Pholus trine Pluto - Able to regenerate and find power when faced with what seems like disaster.

Pholus quincunx Neptune - Handles chaos through imagination, spirituality, chemicals. Can lose grip on reality.

Pholus aspects point to our reflexive responses to crises and willingness to cross boundaries when pressured. Pholus' house placement adds more context.

[bibinibikkkkk]

Laurent's sin

I also decided to write about Laurent, but I warn you that Laurent drives me crazy, I have A LOT of thoughts about him. Since all the books are Damen's POV, many things about Laurent are up to us to interpret. So I also warn you that everything here is MY thoughts, and I know that sometimes I get lost in them. Laurent is one of my favorite characters, so I love seeing other people's interpretations, even if they differ from mine. There are things here that are more speculation since we don't have much information given by Laurent himself.

Laurent’s sin is wrath. Laurent's wrath is so great that it leaves him blind sometimes. Laurent is not the type of person who waits to truly know someone to have an opinion. He hates people from the go and waits for them to prove that they don't deserve his wrath. Laurent looks for the worst in others. It doesn't matter if someone is a great person, practically a saint, if they do something that isn't 100% honorable, Laurent will hold on to that one thing to classify that person as evil. So yeah, Laurent hates a lot of things and people. But most of all, Laurent hates himself most.

For my college degree, I had to do extensive research on victims of sexual abuse who developed PTSD. So I read and heard many stories from victims and I can say that one of the characteristics that most (if not all) of these victims have is that they feel GUILT. In my work, I basically analyze the defensive reactions that people who experience a violent event can have. For example, during sexual abuse, the victim can enter a state of tonic immobility or dissociation, where even though they really want to defend themselves, their body remains immobile. It is a 100% biological and involuntary reaction. But many victims do not know or do not understand this and so after the abuse happens, they feel like they should have done something, fought back, and defended themselves from the abuse. That is why many blame themselves. But what I mean by this is that Laurent probably feels this way. After he understands what his uncle did to him, Laurent most likely feels guilty. He must blame himself for not fighting his uncle, he thinks he somehow allowed this to happen to him. What would Auguste think if he knew this, that Laurent wasn't able to protect himself? So this guilt develops into self-hatred. Laurent's wrath is much more towards himself than against the world. Laurent hates the naive and vulnerable boy he became after his brother's death. He thinks that's why his uncle abused him: because he let him.

After Laurent realizes all this, he forces himself to change. He doesn't want to be vulnerable and weak anymore. He creates a personality that is the extreme opposite of that. He becomes cold, does everything to become physically stronger, and represses all emotions (except anger). He doesn't repress his anger because anger is, in fact, the only thing that keeps him alive. Anger and the desire to take revenge. Laurent also hates this character he had to create to protect himself. Because if he needs mechanisms to protect himself, it's because he's still vulnerable. I swear, Laurent's mind must be a living hell with so many contradictory thoughts. He knows he has become a bad person, he doesn't like it, but he is very afraid of being different.

He wants to take revenge on his uncle, but not just kill him, he wants to take revenge on his uncle by proving that he can be better than him, more intelligent. Laurent not only wants to beat his uncle, he wants to see his uncle lose, again and again. It may seem like the same thing, but it's not. Laurent tries hard to see through his uncle's schemes and plans meticulously to make all these schemes work in his favor, which he knows irritates his uncle more than anything. I would even say that for the last few years, Laurent has been in a limbo where he feels "comfortable" with these "games" between him and his uncle. Everything changes when he realizes that his uncle really wants him dead, because until then Laurent didn't think that, or didn't let himself think about it, which is more likely. Here is the irony of how Laurent is more like Damen than he lets on. Laurent knew that his uncle didn't love him, but he still didn't want to believe that his uncle would kill him in the end.

Meeting Nicaise and Aimeric is the closest Laurent comes to thinking that maybe the guilt he feels over his abuse isn’t justified. Because he sees himself in both boys and he can, from an outside perspective, understand that neither Nicaise nor Aimeric are to blame for the abuse they suffered. But he represses these emotions, especially with Aimeric. When Laurent freaks out at Aimeric, he’s freaking out at himself. It's the first time Laurent is capable of causing harm to himself, looking at the living mirror that is Aimeric. The craziest thing to me is how Nicaise and Aimeric's deaths, without Damen showing up at the end, are the only alternatives for what would happen to Laurent too. Murder or suicide (sacrifice).

Besides obviously wanting revenge on his uncle, Laurent wants revenge on Damianos, the man who killed his brother and then started his years of abuse. This anger and hope of one day getting revenge on Damen is also what keeps him going. Even more than the anger towards the Regent. Because, at the end of Kings Rising, when Laurent is free of the anger he feels towards Damen, after he accepts that Damen is not to blame for his years of abuse (he admits that his uncle would do the same regardless), I believe that Laurent finally admits something he always knew: he would never win against his uncle. Not alone. And, even now in a "relationship" with Damen, Laurent still feels alone. Now without the anger towards Damianos and with the conviction that he will not win, all that is left is self-hatred. And that is what drives him to sacrifice himself. He's all alone, not even his wrath is there anymore. And the love he feels for Damen still isn't enough to quell this self-hatred.

This makes me think that Damen, in a very twisted way, saved Laurent from himself from the beginning. I even thought that if Laurent didn't care about Damianos, maybe he would have killed himself right after he realized the abuse and that he had no chance of defeating his uncle. But no, Laurent is too complex for that, he only sacrifices himself because it would give Damen an advantage to win in the end. Despite all the horror that Laurent suffered and his wrath, he is probably the least selfish character, he would never kill himself to end his suffering, knowing that others are also suffering and that he can do something to help.

In my humble opinion, I think Laurent could be MUCH WORSE. I see a lot of people condemning Laurent as if he were the worst villain, but honestly, I would be much worse, especially against the man who killed my brother. Laurent still gave Damen many chances. Laurent made Damen suffer LITTLE (and it pains me a lot to say that, because I would hate to see Damen suffer more). I believe that the entire time Laurent was torturing Damen, he wanted the opportunity to kill Damen in a more honorable way, perhaps this is what stopped Laurent from killing him when he still had the chance. But this is just an assumption. Sometimes I think even Laurent didn't know what he was doing and what he wanted to do. We need to remember that Laurent is still a 20-year-old who has been isolated from the world for too long. Laurent may be very smart, but he doesn't have the necessary life experience. There's a lot that Laurent doesn't know, but he's very good at pretending he does (even Damen falls for it (and us)). Laurent ultimately regrets what he did, because, again, that was him hiding (protecting himself) behind his villainous mask. He also ends up forgiving Damen once he understands the circumstances under which Auguste died. Something he probably already knew, but didn't want to admit, once again, because that would put an end to the thing that kept him alive.

Laurent finally agreeing to leave Arles to go on border patrol was the biggest turning point in his life. He meets the people of his kingdom, innocent people who have no idea what is happening at court. People who respect and love him. Those who remember him from the past, remember the real Laurent. The freedom he felt from no longer needing to contain his strength. All this and more was important for Laurent to be able to see beyond what his uncle allowed him to see and do. He starts to trust more people, the ones who trust him back. And then that's when Damen starts to see the "changes" and fall in love with Laurent.

This is probably super confusing, but that's how Laurent makes me feel hahahahhaha. What we read throughout the trilogy is still the very beginning of the romance between Damen and Laurent. Damen showing up at the trial was probably a big part of making Laurent realize that Damen's feelings are not frivolous, it's not just a passing attraction for him. Laurent is no longer alone. I go crazy wondering if maybe all Laurent needed was someone stubborn enough for him to start being himself, without having to hide behind masks. Maybe a friend, someone who would look long enough to realize who Laurent really is, like Damen did little by little. Laurent has been alone for so long, with his secrets and his pain. He probably isolated himself like that too for fear of loving someone like he loved Auguste and becoming even more vulnerable (that's kinda what happens with Nicaise). He's certainly done a lot of things he regrets because of his wrath, especially against Damen, so I think Damen will need to work a little harder to prove to Laurent how much he loves him. Just like Laurent will certainly do the same.

[piratesparrotdragon]

we all know neurodivergence and mental illness are common (and valid, if I really have to clarify that lol) origins for any form of nonhumanity and semihumanity. but does anyone experience the opposite? like you feel more human cause of your divergence?

so I have every symptom of BPD and most symptoms of AvPD and these make my internal/emotional life extremely hard. i also have both variations of alexithymia. so all that together, and i process/feel and express very little emotions, but when i do get emotions they're intense and distressing, and i am extremely afraid of abandonment, embarrassment, and i don't feel like it's possible for anyone to love me (insecurity + jealousy)

i'm currently having a BPD moodswing after seeing a trigger and let me tell you: i feel the most human when this happens (it happens often). i feel so small and stupid and stuck in my house. i feel a lot less like a dragon. being a dragon is how i view all the best parts of me, the healthiest parts of me, etc. but that means the worst parts are always the most human.

i also have over 30 signs and symptoms of autism (self diagnosed) and. this one is conflicting. autism sometimes makes me feel extra alien to humans, but when i'm having mental struggles related to autism, i still feel less dragon and more human anyway.

i always feel like a dragon but... neurodivergence makes me feel like a weak dragon, a faker, a worse dragon, unworthy of being one, or it just makes me suppress my draconity, resulting in it feeling weak or more human.

[theliteraryarchitect]

Hi! I wanted to say, I read that you are a professional editor, and think it's amazing! You also give very logical and well explained advice. I was wondering; would you say being an editor is a job you can support yourself with? I actually aspire to become one someday, but I'm not exactly sure if it's a good plan.

Thank you for your time, and I hope you have a good day/night

Hey there. Great question. It's totally possible to support yourself as an editor. I've done it, and so have other editors I know. However there are a few important things to consider before choosing editing as a career path.

Your chances of being a self-employed freelancer are extremely high. The number of in-house editing jobs in publishing are low and getting lower. While being self employed can give you a certain amount of flexibility, it also comes along with a lot of hustle and hassle, namely fluctuating income, a stupid amount of confusing tax paperwork, and the need to constantly promote yourself to clients in order to maintain steady work.

You probably won't make as much money as you'd think. Editing is one of the many skilled jobs that suffers from market saturation, which has sadly driven down the price the average client is willing to pay for editing services. I can't tell you the number of overqualified editors I know charging barely more than minimum wage for their work. Personally I've stuck to my guns about charging what I'm worth, but I've sometimes suffered by not having as much work as my colleagues who charge less.

Robots have already chipped away at the future of editing as a human occupation, and will continue to do so at exponential speed in the years ahead. They will never obliterate the job completely, as there will always be humans who prefer to work with humans instead of machines. But the outlook will become ever bleaker as more humans compete for fewer gigs, which in turn will drive down prices even further.

If you are also a writer, editing may adversely affect your writing. I don't mean that you'll become a worse writer, quite the opposite. My editing work has brought new depths to my writing, and I'm grateful for all I've learned by working with my clients. However, editing takes time, uses creative energy, and requires staring at a screen (or paper), and personally the more I edit, the less time/creativity/screen-staring capabilities I have left for my own writing.

If you mention you're an editor, someone will troll your post for a typo, grammatical error, or misused word, and then triumphantly point it out to you in the comments. This is mostly a joke. But it does happen every single time.

I hope this hasn't been too discouraging. If you feel a true passion for editing and really enjoy the work, none of the above should dissuade you. However, if you think you might be happy in any number of occupations, I'd honestly advise you to explore other options. Choosing a career path at this point in history is a gamble no matter what, but the outlook for editors is especially grim.

If you'd like to work with writers and aren't attached to being an editor, there are a few jobs (still freelance) that I believe will survive the coming robot apocalypse. Do a little Google research about "book coaches," "writing coaches," or "book doulas." These are people who act primarily as emotional supporters and logistical helpers for writers who are trying to get their book published or self published. Some of them do actual editing, but many do not, and due to the therapeutic nature of their work I believe they will flourish longer than editors in the coming robot apocalypse.

If you do explore editing as a path, the further away you can lean from spelling and grammar (e.g. proofreader or copyeditor), the longer your skills will be useful when competing with robots. AI still struggles to offer the same kind of nuanced, story-level feedback that a human can give. (Speaking from experience here--I'm a developmental editor and have yet to see a dent in my workload because of robots.) They'll catch up eventually, but it could be a while, and as long as there are human readers, there will always be humans who are willing to pay for a human perspective on their writing. Human spell checkers maybe not so much.

Hope this helps!

[julie09tarot]

Unpopular opinion

Based on extremely negative experiences

Intuition (or connection to guides, or deities) is a powerful, sacred tool - but it can often be misleading. Sometimes it's hard to distinguish, out of all the little voices in our heads, what's intuition, wishful thinking, anxiety, projection... the list goes on.

In tarot, many people rely on what they "feel" when looking at the cards, rather than on the knowledge they have built up. Although intuition can help establish connections between the meanings of the cards and the consultant's situation, it is not immune to personal biases, unconscious desires and projections. The problem arises when we let these subjective perceptions completely replace the symbolic structure of the tarot, turning the reading into a reflection of our own thoughts and beliefs, rather than a balanced and reasoned interpretation.

Furthermore, in the name of intuition (even if done in good faith; sadly that's not always the case), we can justify just about anything. The same symbol can be interpreted in opposite ways depending on the reader's emotional state, and if there is no commitment to a solid understanding of the cards, readings become inconsistent and even dangerous. We often hear phrases like "I know the card means X, but my intuition tells me it means Y here", which may seem legitimate, but often just reflects an unconscious desire to get a specific answer. In the worst case scenario, this approach can fuel illusions, reinforce unfounded fears or even lead to harmful decisions based on unobjective readings.

This doesn't mean that intuition should be ignored, but rather balanced with knowledge and discernment. Instead of blindly relying on "feeling", we can use it to complement our analysis, questioning where these perceptions come from and whether they are aligned with the symbolism of the tarot and the well-being of the querent. After all, tarot is not just a mirror of the reader's mind, but a structured tool for exploration and understanding. When we find this balance between intuition and study, the readings become richer, more coherent and, above all, more useful for those who receive them.

I hope you understand this isn't criticism, just a word of caution.