#like. there's criteria that must be met.

[tarvek-sturmvoraus]

for christmas i want leftists to learn that 'genocide' and 'mass murder' aren't actually synonyms and shouldn't be used that way

[aelswiths]

Lord Aethelhelm has arrived. A good choice, I feel. Yes. He has quite a gathering with him. Oh, he likes to show his feathers. But he has money and men, both of which I will need. A perfect choice.

[ben-marco]

Does anyone realize that the "everyone is valid" thing has actual diagnostic implications?

Yes, every case of DID will have differences from another. But all DID cases must meet diagnostic criteria in order to actually be DID. You can't say "everyone is valid" and "DID can look like anything" because really, it can't. At the end of the day, there are still diagnostic criteria that must be met. If anything goes and anything is valid and anything can be DID, then DID is nothing and we might as well not even classify it as a disorder at all.

Same thing as people who say that "everyone has a little bit of DID" or "everyone has parts". Yes, you act differently at work than you do at home. This does not mean that you have dissociated parts of a fragmented self, and if it did, then DID would be a redundant diagnosis and there would be no need to have it in the ICD or DSM if "everyone" had it.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

pairing: dad!bucky barnes x au pair!reader

warnings: age gap (reader is 10 years younger than bucky), smut (18+, dni if under 18)

author’s note: sorry for the delay folks xx

masterlist

now i wish we’d never met ‘cause you’re too hard to forget while i’m cleaning up your mess i know he’s taking off your dress and i know that you don’t but if i ask you if you love me i hope you lie to me

Bucky Barnes was a great many things, a paradox in a single man, many opposite things to different people. For some he was an angel, charity driven and ready to sacrifice himself for everything and everyone. For others, he was a demon, someone who was power driven, filled with the need for success and stepping on anyone he needed to be the first and the best. No matter what both thought, all agreed on one thing - Bucky Barnes was one hell of a charmer. He’d gotten that from his mother - old high class British charm, his father used to say. That combined with his looks made him irresistible to most people. Everyone flocked to him, everyone except for Y/N. She’d vanished from his side a bit later into the night and he hadn’t seen her since. Each time he thought to look for her, someone would need him or catch his attention.

Even with all that, he couldn’t find her. Y/N was an eye catching woman, she was beautiful and if she were anywhere near he would’ve found her. Instead, she was nowhere to be found and he was starting to get annoyed. He wanted to spend the evening with her, or at least he had intended to spend the evening with her, introducing her to the right people who could help her. He continued listening to whoever was talking to him right now - truth was, he wasn’t even sure who that person was. He just usually smiled and kept up simple talks, that was what was required of him so he would gladly keep doing it as long as it yielded results.

As for Y/N, she had almost forgotten who she was here with. Christopher Davis was someone who she always could picture herself with. He was smart, well spoken, well mannered and seemed to have an interest on her. Besides, he had gone through the same thing as her back at Columbia.

      - I’m just saying Professor Williams is a pain. - Chris laughed as Y/N explained what her supervisor had said. - If Professor Anderson likes you then you must be a bright student.  

      - Or maybe I’m just really daft. 

      - I don’t think so. - he smiled. - Sergeant Barnes doesn’t employ someone who doesn’t have promise. 

      - Except I don’t work for him ... I mean, not like you work for him, I’m just an au pair. I reckon the only criteria was are you a threat and are you good with children. 

      - How is it working with Sergeant Barnes if you don’t mind me asking?

Chris looked at her and then back at James whom he didn’t notice had been staring them down until now. He sighed, putting on his best smile, after all, he was trying to impress this girl. 

     - He’s uptight and a bit controlling but I guess you have to be if you want things to run smoothly. Specially when you work in advertising. 

     - That’s most CEOs isn’t it?

     - Yes but James Barnes is .. different. Sorry, I don’t mean to sound like a disgruntled employee. 

     - That is fine. Sergeant Barnes has got me on my nerves every once and again?

     - Is that so? - Y/N felt the blood drain from her face as she turned around to face her boss. She wasn’t afraid of him per say, but she also knew, she just knew he would probably be pissy for the rest of the evening. - Good evening Y/N, Mr. Davis. 

     - I will see you tomorrow, Y/N. - Chris smiled at the au pair.

To say Y/N was over the moon was a massive understatement. He liked her, at least she thought he liked her enough to invite her out. She didn’t think she still had it within her, she was usually busy looking over Sadie or with her postgraduate studies - that didn’t give her enough time to think about her sex and love life. That being said, maybe that explained why she was having the weird dreams and fantasies about James; familiarity. Right? It had to be that.

Bucky on the other hand felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. Chris was ... well, he didn’t know that much about Chris other than he came from money yet he couldn’t even blame him from that since he had come from money as well. He was just boring, Bucky found him boring. He didn’t take risks, at least not enough risks for someone who worked at advertising. He played it safe. It worked, but it wasn’t revolutionary. Still, Bucky didn’t like him. He definitely didn’t like him for Y/N either. Y/N was smart, innovative, caring and another bunch of positive adjectives which were too long to list. Chris was just boring.

     - So how’s that lady? - Y/N broke the silence between the two of them, a bit tipsy on the champagne which she wasn’t used to drinking.

     - What lady?

     - Delilah? - she looked up through her dizzy, tipsy mind, before snapping her fingers. - Delia. Yeah, that’s her name. How is Delia?

     - You would know if you weren’t busy flirting with my employees. 

     - Oh so you can flirt but I can’t?

     - Not when you’re with me. You’re embarrassing yourself and humiliating me.

     - But I’m not here with you, am I, sergeant? I am not your date, am I?

     - No. - he smiled forcefully. - However if I were going to flirt with someone I would pick someone less boring. 

     - You work in advertising, Sergeant. Everyone is boring. 

(...)

Bucky had never spent a whole night alone with Sadie, not when she was awake. Yet, here he was, left behind by his au pair so she could go and date boring Chris while he had to deal with a very hyper Sadie who was running around as if it wasn’t 8 o’clock yet. He usually had a babysitter or he had Y/N, or Steve yet right now he was by his lonesome. He thought she would’ve settled down if he played princesses, yet, she did not. Instead Bucky now had knotted hair, glitter on his face and probably some on his eye and permanent marker on his neck. He had finally given up and done the worse thing in the eyes of every parenting book - he’d given her a tablet loaded with all the Bluey seasons. Meanwhile he’d taken to watching re-runs of Mad Men. 

     - Bed? - he asked the curly haired ginger who looked up at him, her hair in front of her face. - I’ll give you 10 dollars?

     - No. - she replied before looking back at her tablet. Bucky sighed, looking up at the ceiling. Soon the terrible twos would be done and he’d have the terrifying threes. 

    - 20 dollars? - he said once again but she ignored him. He sighed, how come Y/N managed to do this? - Sadie, you can either go to bed or you can be tired tomorrow and not go to the park with Y/N. Choose. 

She looked at him with the death stare which she had inherited from him, but eventually got up, grabbing his hand. Bucky smiled, picking her up and walking to her bedroom. He pushed the sheets from her bed, carefully rolling her to her mattress before tucking her in, handing her a Bingo plushie. 

    - You want a story, babe? - he asked her, brushing her curls away from her forehead. - No?

    - Light?

    - I’ll turn your little moonlight on. - he kissed her forehead. - I love you, Sisi bug. 

She smiled at him and it was enough for him to know she meant she loved him too. He tucked her once more before turning off the main light, leaving the room softly lit by the nightlight. Slowly and softly he went up the stairs, grabbing a wick basket and started collecting toys onto it. She had too many toys, still he wouldn’t stop buying them. As he finished it, Bucky sat back down on the couch. He was annoyed. Why did she even go out with that prick? The only thing they had in common was an alma matter and god knows Chris was a legacy student so it wasn’t like he tried as hard to get into university like Y/N had. God, he hated him. Hated how bland and boring he was. 

He toyed around with the remote, trying to find something that would get his head out of the idea of goddamn Christopher Davis trying to get her out of the practically translucent dress she had been wearing. Bucky could swear she did it on purpose, just to show off to him in those strap heels and short sheer black dress like a temptress. He changed channels once more, hoping he’d find something ... maybe a pay per view porn channel or something. Yet nothing took his mind of his au pair, his employee who he should have some professionalism with, and that stupid lacy bra he could make out under that dress. Dressing up like that for goddamn Davis. 

He stared at his phone, watching as hours passed yet nothing fulfilled. Eventually, Bucky made a mistake, a huge, massive mistake. A mistake which fulfilled itself as he opened the door to show Delia. He handled things badly but right now he needed his fill. 

His lips attacked hers as they stumbled towards the bedroom, Bucky locking the door behind him. This was a bad habit, a terrible habit but her lips felt good, her taste was tempting and Bucky wasn’t the one to have good habits. However, today, things were ... different. Her lips leaving lipstick marks on his neck didn’t feel the same. Maybe this was a mistake. He shouldn’t really have a woman in the house when his daughter was asleep upstairs. 

   - Are you alright? - Delia pulled away from him.

Bucky blinked, he had to be going ... stir crazy. Maybe he’d drank a bit too much whiskey but her features morphed and he could swear that in place of the woman he usually called whenever he needed release, stood the woman he wanted to be here now. The sheer dress a vivid memory in the back of his mind. He ignored her question, moving to kiss her neck and putting his hand over her mouth. His fantasies took full front stage as his mind drew a different reality.

All he could see was her, red lips open wide with soft, high pitched moaned as he kissed down her body, doing away with her dress and her underwear. He wanted to mark her, he wanted to mark this vision of a woman he craved. His hands found the top of his joggers, pushing it down as if he were a horny mess. His cock was painfully hard, slapping against his stomach as he stood over her, this vision of Y/N. All he could think of were all the times she saw her, the outline of her breasts, her collarbones. He didn't pace himself, instead lining up with the woman's entrance before he gripped her hips and slide himself in, without much a second of though. The feeling made him grown, he was insane he reckoned, insane because he knew this wasn't her but all he could see is her. The soft moans, the contracted muscles. He fucked her hard and rough until he felt his release approach. Once he did, he slide himself off, jerking off and coming on her stomach, rolling to the side of the bed. He stared at the ceiling fan of the guest bedroom, his mind lulling him back to reality ... all he could think when that moment was once simple thing - Fuck Chris Davis. 

(...)

Y/N didn’t spend the night. He noticed that in the morning as he was getting prepared from work and saw her walk in, with her dress crimped and hair barely brushed. His blood bubbled. If she wanted to fuck old money, she could’ve fucked him. 

    - Had your release? - he knew he was being mean now, just looking to stir the pot. - Fun night?

    - Why? Need some new jerking off material? - she crossed her arms, speaking in a manner and language that almost made him spit his coffee. - Who’s taking Sadie to school?

    - Well, if you can still walk I’d say he did a pretty shit job, huh?

    - I guess I’m taking Sadie to school. - she rolled her eyes. - And it’s none of your business.

    - Well my employee is fucking another one of my employees. Maybe you should go to HR. 

    - Maybe I should and tell them that the boss is acting like an ass. Are you seriously still upset at me that I flirted with someone at your weird benefit? I’m single, I’m allowed to flirt!

    - Not with Chris Davis. Seriously, Y/N, get a better taste in men. 

    - Because you have such a great taste in women. - she poured herself a cup of coffee. - Since you’re dressed, maybe you should take Sadie to school and see your favourite ego boosting group the PTA mums. 

    - Maybe I will.

    - Picking Sadie up from school or do you want me to?

    - Steve’s picking her up.

    - Steve?

Steve. 

////////////////////////////////////

taglist : @talesofadragon @themermaidscales82​ @winters1917​ @vladsgirlxx​

[sinimake]

Opposites-Attract headcanons of Johnshi

I love putting opposing traits to my ships more than anything so enjoy!

Kenshi is pretty low maintenance. All he needs is clothes on his back and Sento, that's it. Probably can survive zombie apocalypse on his own while Johnny must have his grooming essentials with 10-step skin routine, a cup of coffee with the exact milk-sugar ratio at 9am sharp in the morning or he will DIE

Johnny is glued to his phone, always taking pics and documenting things while Kenshi doesn't even know where the fuck is his phone half the time

Also Johnny is texter and Kenshi is caller/voice message sender

When Kenshi is angry, he blazes like fire. One look at him and you know he's fucking pissed. While Johnny is silent rager. He will appear fine and brush off things convincingly good with his acting skills till he snaps. Like ocean pulling back its tides just to slam whole ass tsunami upon its victims.

They're both ambiverts but different flavors of ambiverts. Johnny makes friends with everyone, always chats and charms. He somehow knows the lifestories of people he met even briefly. However Johnny gets overwhelmed a lot that he needs his down time or he will start becoming murderous. Kenshi, on the other hand, rather die than make a small talk but he is a natural leader who can read people very well.

Johnny is chronically online and Kenshi is deliberately internet illiterate

People think Johnny is the rulebreaker while Kenshi's the voice of reason but they get it so wrong. Johnny is all about being pompous and mischievous but when the shit starts becoming serious and so much real, he panics. Kenshi though? He will charge head first into a trouble swinging and crackling. He didn't want to break the rules, but if it must, Kenshi will twist that notch to extreme.

Johnny is a picky eater and Kenshi will eat anything. That's why Johnny cooks almost all the time bc their criterias for "food" are vastly different.

Johnny exists in the public eye. He thrives in people's love and attention while Kenshi is shunned and feared for his past in the crime organization.

Kenshi is paranoid while Johnny is bit too confident sometimes

Johnny thrives on routine and schedule since he's a busy celebrity, he plans ahead and sticks to it. On the other hand, Kenshi just goes along with wherever the wind takes him.

However, when it comes to training, Kenshi is all about going by the book. Breathing exercises, meditation, stances, katas, footwork, practices, and everything, he follows them through to build up discipline. But Johnny? He just wings it bc it's all natural talent, baby! If you ask him how he does some moves, he will just shrug and say "it feels right that way"

Their fighting styles differ, too. Johnny is light on feet, flexible, fast, and slips through guards like a shadow. Kenshi is grounded, steady, tough, and even his blade swings are focused on elbow movements than in wrists.

Adding on the previous point, Johnny's name is a reverse pun of Kage, which means "shadow" in Japanese. On the other hand, Sento's powers are represented through glowing lights, hence creating the opposite elements of Light and Shadow in Johnshi

[lets-try-some-writing]

Friendship and Intimacy

A slight update to my personal headcanon regarding Cybertronian habits and relationships, at least the physical stuff.

━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━

Even before the war, friendships have always had unspoken rules amongst Cybertronians. There are differences depending on city state, function, and caste. But as a general rule, Cybertronians follow the same sets of guidelines when it comes to close connections.

Unlike organics, Cybertronians do not biologically procreate. Yes, they are capable of cold forging and even creating new life from their own spark if they try hard enough. If they truly feel like fighting against the natural order, a Cybertronian can use technology to go through a similar process to create new life. However, as this is not a natural act and considering there is no biological function that allows for reproduction, there is no instinctual need to have close connections. Cybertronians will travel in groups instinctually if certain criteria are met, and they do have pack bonding abilities, to a limited extent. However, there is absolutely no immediate desire to touch one another, not even in the slightest. Touch is a dangerous thing. For a species that is all but functionally immortal, one of the only things that can effectively kill them is another of their kind.

Their coding recognizes this, and thus Cybertronians simply do not touch often. It is not even a high caste or an Iaconian exclusive mindset. All Cybertronians are not fond of being touched unless it is specifically agreed to by both parties. Touching is dangerous, especially with outliers and various frame types having unique abilities that can make touch even more dangerous on any given day. Generally speaking, the only places a mech is allowed to touch if absolutely required are the shoulders. This is due to the fact that the shoulders are one of the most armored locations on the body, and thus touching there can allow both parties to accomplish whatever must be done without invading the other's space more than required.

This makes friendship and interesting subject.

Touch, due to its rarity, has a great deal of symbolism behind it. Co-workers and acquaintances only touch the shoulders and strangers try not to touch at all. Cybertronians, even once they consider each other friends, can still remain at a distance physically for extended periods of time. But eventually, a sign of trust will come into play through touch.

The closer two mechs are, the more touching is allowed. It always starts small, usually with the servos. It is completely normal for two individuals, regardless of weather their relationship is platonic or not, to hold hands. For them it is a show of trust. By limiting themselves to one arm each and allowing the tactile sensors on their digits to touch, they are expressing trust in the other and their belief that their counterpart will do them no harm.

Regardless of relationship type, individuals move from servos to other heavily armored parts of the other's frame when it comes to touch. It is completely normal for close friends to sit close enough to touch shoulders and legs. Rubbing each other's backs is widely accepted as another form of showing trust. Running digits along arm guards and messing with external kibble is all perfectly normal behavior. These things show the closeness of a pair, and usually the type of touches are unique to every single duo. Romantic partners may begin to get a tad more touchy during this phase, but platonic and familial relationships can do the same depending on the situation.

Usually companionships do not progress past this point of general body touching. Even familial relationships can remain in this limbo for vorns upon vorns if neither party feels comfortable making a move. This is largely because the next step is one that most cannot back out of. Protoform is the most sensitive and easily damaged part of a mech. In order to really show absolute trust, a pair must allow each other to have access to said protoform. This is when things can begin looking strange to other races.

Once a pair have moved to this phase of absolute trust, it isn't at all weird to see them behave in ways that would otherwise appear VERY scandalous to species that reproduce organically. Before the war, Megatron regularly stuck his digits into the gaps in Soundwave's hip plating to touch the protoform there. It wasn't romantic at all, merely a way of assuring that they trusted each other. Jazz was very comfortable sticking his servos into the gaps around Orion's vents to prove his loyalty. Ratchet wasn't all that much better and after so many vorns at war, it is totally normal for him and Optimus to be found in a strange cuddle pile with their limbs entangled and digits in places human would see as very much NOT appropriate.

Touching is a sign of trust, and by the Allspark humans simply do not get it. They read everything WRONG when they catch bots interacting in similar ways. Optimus wrapping his arms around Bumblebee and resting his helm on Bee's shoulder is familial. Ratchet randomly sticking his digits into Optimus's hips is just a fact of life. Arcee periodically sticking her little claws into Bulkhead's various kibble is just their way of playing. Wheeljack and Bulkhead are extra open about being touchy. More than once June has ushered the children away when they get a bit too much for the adult humans in the room to be comfortable.

Touching is a way to bond. Nothing more, nothing less. Humans look and see things they shouldn't. Cybertronians witness a pair who are close enough to allow one another to come near their vital systems.

[lucy90712]

could write about rúben is jealous at your used to be uni crush when you accidentally met him at party rúben ended up being protective and a bit cranky (or clingy), fluff at the end. thanks <3

WC: 2.4k After a very long gruelling season everything is finally done and Ruben and the rest of the Man City team have a lot to celebrate after winning the champions league to complete the treble. This season has been hard on everyone including me as Ruben has been so busy and stressed that there was a period of time where we barely saw each other and whenever we did all we did was argue. Thankfully we made it through that time and now we are closer than ever which I'm so glad about as I was really worried I was going to lose him but that's all behind us now. 

Tonight we get to celebrate everything the team has achieved as Jack invited Ruben and I out to a nearby club to enjoy a night off. Ruben isn't usually one to go clubbing but this time he seemed more than happy to go as I think he wanted to go out and enjoy himself after everything he's worked hard for this year. He deserves it too Ruben has been so dedicated to the team the entire year and I've never seen him work quite this hard which is saying something as he always gives 100% to anything he does. As much as it's been difficult at times it's been amazing to be involved in this incredible year for the team and for Ruben. 

Despite agreeing to this a few days ago Ruben neglected to tell me until this afternoon but luckily for him I'm not high maintenance at all so I'm happy to get ready in an hour if I have to. Straight after Ruben decided that I needed to know about our plans I ran upstairs to shower as he dragged me to the gym this morning and I've been too tired to move since. I took a nice long shower washing my hair and shaving so I felt good as you can't look good if you don't feel good. By the time I was done Ruben was in our bedroom shirtless looking at his wardrobe to find a top to wear which was a beautiful sight as not only does he look amazing without a shirt on but I absolutely love his concentration face and that's the expression he had looking at all of his clothes. He didn't notice me to begin with but then I stepped on the one creaky floorboard and of course that caught his attention and his concentration face changed into a smile. 

"Seeing as you're here do you want to help me pick an outfit?" I asked Ruben 

"Of course I do now what criteria do I have to meet" he laughed 

"Well it's not cold as it's summer so warmth doesn't need to be considered so it is completely up to you" I said 

"Well then I think you have to wear this one" he said pulling out a red dress which happens to be his favourite 

"Ooh tonight must be a special celebration if I you want me to wear this" I teased 

"I just want to see my beautiful girlfriend looking and feeling her best" he said 

"Thank you babe" I said

"Plus I feel like making some guys jealous that you're all mine and not theirs" he smirked as he left to go into the bathroom 

I got myself ready in record time with a bit of help from Ruben in putting my jewellery on and zipping up my dress. He also did my shoes up for me which I said wasn't necessary but he did it anyway. With that we were both ready to go so Ruben drove us to the club as he's not going to drink he did that after the champions league win and made me promise to never let him drink again. I'm not a huge drinker either but on occasion I will have a few and I plan for tonight to be one of those occasions as I think I deserved to have some fun plus Jack will probably have me doing shots within a few minutes of our arrival anyway. 

As soon as we arrived Ruben led me over to the vip section of the club where everyone that was coming was already sat. Straight way the other wives and girlfriends came over and took me over to their table to catch up as we haven't seen each other in ages. Ruben brought me a drink a few minutes after we had sat down but after that he left me to talk to my friends. That's something I love about Ruben he doesn't have to be by my side at all times he's happy to let me have fun by myself but somehow he's always there when I need him. 

I enjoyed catching up with the girls but I wanted to spend some time with Ruben so I collected him and made him come to the dance floor with me. Neither of us are great dancers but I always enjoy dancing with him so we always dance together and just forget about what anyone else thinks of us. His arms went straight round my waist and I rested mine on his shoulders as we both swayed to the music. Ruben had a devilish smile on his face as we were dancing together and he made it very clear what he wanted in the way he started kissing my neck and gripping my waist tighter but I'm not going to give in that easy. 

After a while of dancing the both of us wanted a break so we stood by the bar so we could have some space. As we were stood there I thought I saw someone I recognised then he turned around and my suspicions were confirmed. It was a guy I met while I was in university we were friends throughout my studies but I had a huge crush on him so when we finished uni and he brought his girlfriend to graduation we drifted apart and I got on with my own life. We haven't seen each other since graduation and it's been years since I've even thought about him so it was weird to see him in a random club in Manchester. Seeing as I studied in London it felt very random but that being said I always love seeing people from uni as I feel like I've changed so much since then and I love hearing how everyone's life has unfolded. 

"What are you looking at?" Ruben asked 

"Oh there's just a guy over there that I went to uni with" I said 

"Which one?" He asked

"The blonde guy Joey I can't believe I used to have a crush on him" I laughed 

"Wait you had a crush on that guy" Ruben questioned 

"Yeah a huge crush but he brought his girlfriend to graduation which crushed me so that ended that" I said

Ruben went to say something else but before he could Joey noticed me and made his way over with a smile on his face. He greeted me with a hug before he introduced himself to Ruben before shaking his hand. Ruben is usually more than happy to meet people new people especially people I know from before I met him but for some reason he just seemed off. As soon as he let go of joey's hand his arm went back around my waist almost protectively and I could see that his jaw was tensed. It's so unlike Ruben that I had no idea what was wrong with him I mean surely he can't be jealous I've been with him for 3 nearly 4 years now and I’ve not seen Joey for even longer than that. It's not like I still have any feelings it was a stupid crush anyway he was just the only guy that had ever paid me any attention at the time so that's why I liked him so much. 

"It's been so long now have you been?" I asked 

"I've been good I just got a new job here in Manchester so I'm out with a few new coworkers what have you been up to I feel like I haven't seen anything of you since graduation" Joey said 

"Life's been good busy but good I got a job here in Manchester straight out of uni which is how I met Ruben and since life has been pretty crazy with traveling to games all over the place" I said hoping mentioning Ruben would make him less tense 

"Thats amazing I knew you would do great things you were always the smartest one in the class" Joey said 

"Also congrats on the treble mate it's an insane achievement" he added 

"Thanks" Ruben replied rather coldly 

I ignored his attitude and kept chatting to Joey as I'm probably not going to see him again for another few years after this as that's just how life is. The longer I kept talking the more Ruben moved his arms around my waist and held me tighter to his chest. It was so weird seeing Ruben act like this he's usually never the jealous or overly protective type he only ever got jealous one time when this guy was flirting with me before we were officially dating. I could almost feel Ruben's dislike for Joey and I wasn't even looking at him which is also weird as he always tries to get along with everyone he meets as he's just they type of person but clearly in this situation the Ruben I know and love has disappeared. For some reason it was making me feel slightly angry that Ruben couldn't even attempt to see that Joey's a nice guy instead he has to embarrass me by acting like an asshole when all I want is to portray him as the loving boyfriend he really is. 

Joey offered to buy us drinks and seeing as I'd only had 1 so far I accepted and of course Ruben declined but again I could feel his anger at me for even accepting. At this point I was completely fed up with his attitude so I ignored him and his many attempts to get my attention or stop me talking to Joey. I know this will probably cause an argument later but I'm simply just catching up with an old friend who I haven't seen in years and I'm not going to let Ruben ruin that just because he's jealous or whatever he's feeling. 

It was lovely catching up with Joey but after a while he had to get back to his new co workers and of course Ruben took his chance to say we should get back to his teammates before quickly dragging me back to where everyone else was stood. Seeing as he'd let go of his death grip on me I managed to slip away from him and go back to the girls ass I needed their advice and also a bit of time to calm down before I yell at Ruben and say things I don't mean. The girls were really helpful as they told me that Ruben was being over the top but they helped me see his side of the situation by saying that I wouldn't like it if Ruben made me talk to girls he liked before me. I understood what they were saying and it made me feel a bad so I decided it was time to leave to go and talk to Ruben. 

Once I suggested we leave Ruben was more than happy to go so I followed him back out to the car where he seemed to be a lot happier and more relaxed than he was earlier. He held my hand and we sung along to music together which is a lot more like the Ruben I know and love although there was still a bit of unresolved tension in the air but soon that will all be resolved. When we made it home both of us changed into more comfortable clothes and settled down on the sofa with a movie on but I quickly took the remote and paused the movie so we could talk. 

"Is everything alright?" Ruben asked 

"Everything's fine I just think we need to talk about what happened earlier at the club" I said 

"It's fine y/n I'm over it" he said pretty unconvincingly 

"You might say you're over it but I still think we should talk about it so first I want to say I'm sorry for putting you in that position I know I wouldn't like it if you did the same to me I just saw him and wanted to catch up as it's been long but I'm sorry for that" I explained 

"Now you can tell me what's on your mind" I said 

"It's not necessarily the fact that you used to have a crush on him it's just he's so different to me I mean he's blonde with blue eyes and I'm the opposite of that and you said you had a huge crush on him and that just made me question why you love me" he said 

"Oh Ruben I only had a crush on him as he was the first guy to ever be kind to me but then I met you I realised that it was just a crush and nothing more as my feelings for you were so different to what I felt for Joey it was love I love you and only you Ruben" I said 

"That really means a lot to hear because I felt exactly the same when I met you I'm sorry I got so jealous it was silly of me but believe me I won't ever forget what you just said to me" he smiled 

"Good because I want you to know that I love you at all times" I said 

He leaned in to give me a kiss but once our lips connected he pushed me down onto the sofa and began tickling my sides. I couldn’t stop myself from laughing even if I wanted to so I had to pull away from the kiss which made Ruben chuckle too. Any tension or bad feelings were gone within and instant after that and we were back to being completely in love with each other which is how I always want us to be. 

[formulafootball66]

Promoting

a/n: hello! this is my very first fic! criteria is welcome, but please be nice! pairing: neymar x reader warnings: language and slightly mature at the end. word count: 1100 enjoy!

I really don’t want to be here.

But I had no other choice, my work forced me to be here. Due to the success of my movie in Brazil, I had to go for some kind of event. Of course, where there are events there are after parties, and where there are parties there are potential connections. I’m here for that last purpose.

I’m not doing a good job. I have only spoken to the bartender yet, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t recognize me. The drink sure did help with the mood.

There is nothing wrong with this party, the lights are maybe a bit too bright, but still. The purple lightning made it impossible to even see your drink. One thing you were able to notice, is the smell. It smells so horrible. Sweaty bodies, strong alcohol and awful food.

The worst part of this place? I don’t speak a word Portuguese and I have zero friends here. So I do what a girl has to do: get another drink.

While walking to the bar, I make sure to check the floor. God forbid that slip over some trash and someone takes a picture of it. So I make sure to focus and dodge all of it.

I was a little bit too focused on not slipping, cause I crashed into someone. “Oh shit! I’m so sorry!” I say embarrassed and I look up. In front of me stands the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on.

And, oh my God, now I recognize him. Shit. I just bumped into Neymar Jr. The Neymar Jr. The man who was is magazine every week, either with a hot a photoshoot or a rumor that he’s dating a new girl.

“Sem problemas, lindihna,” he says and his voice is just as attractive as himself. I don’t know what the last thing he said means, but I’m pretty sure that he said that it’s not a problem.

“Uh, sorry again!” I mutter, because, man, I want to get away from this awkward conversation. I walk away, but he grabs my arm. “What’s your name again, beautiful?”

“I’m Y/N. And you are Neymar.” I say, lowkey flabbergasted. Hello? He wanted to know my name? He called me beautiful? Neymar has still a hold on my arm. I see that he notices too, because he let’s go of me. Instead he grabs my hand, leads me to the dancefloor area again.

He pulls me closer, hands that have snuck on my hips. His face gets closer. I can feel his hot breath on my skin. His eyes are gleaming mischievous. I feel my heart pounding in my chest. How many times in your life do you get a chance to be so close with an insanely hot man?

“Yeah, are you a fan?” He whispers in my ear, sending shivers over my body. Oh god, what was he doing to me? I only met him like 2 minutes ago.

While my mind wanders, my body knows exactly what I want. I feel hot everywhere. It’s probably a combination of the busy crowd and his body close to mine.

“Kind of. At home we watch a lot football. I think I saw you play a couple of times.” I’m really trying my hardest not to make this awkward. I must admit, I don’t really know Neymar as a player, nor as a person, obviously.

Meanwhile his arms lay loosely around my waist. His right hand creeping down a little.

He chuckles. “So, what brought you here in such short skirt You’re on a mission?”

I blush and look down. I really should’ve worn something else. Now he probably thinks I’m just some easy girl. Then again, I try to gaslight myself into thinking that I don’t care what Neymar thinks or says about me.

“No, definitely not. I had a movie come out. I’m here from promotion, but it’s not really working.” I don’t mention that I’m too scared to talk to people and that I should actually get that third drink.

“Ah, an actress.”

“Yeah, something wrong with that?” I ask kind of defensive.

“The opposite actually.” He says flashing a cocky smirk.

A new songs comes up and it’s some song of the Weeknd. He begins to sway me around. Holy shit. He wants to dance. I’m not a particularly bad dancer, but it’s definitely not one of my talents. But the way he moves, the pure confidence in all what he does, makes me lose it to rhythm too.

“You know, I think I can solve your promotion problems,” he says seductively. His hazel brown eyes looking in mine and locking contact.

I was intrigued, because everything was better than what I was doing. “Oh yeah? Please, tell me.” I say, without breaking the eye contact.

“I can’t tell you, only show you.”

“Show me then.” I say with sudden confidence. His hands lift your chin and his thumb runs over your bottom lip. His other hand cups my jaw and he finally breaks the eye contact to look at my lips. He looks me in the eyes again to asks for permission, maybe? I nod and it happened all in a flash.

And all of sudden his lips are touching mine. I do not kiss back immediately, out of pure shock. The kiss, that was gentle at first, was getting more intense, he kissed me harder. He also gave my ass a little squeeze. That made me gasp and therefore he had the chance to slip his tongue into my mouth.

He tastes like expensive alcohol and there is a slight taste of spear mints on his tongue. While our kiss was getting deeper and more passionate, I let out a slight moan and grab his hair. It seems to have done something to him too, because now he groans into the kiss. He grabs my ass and pulls me closer to him than I already was. I can now feel him. Every part of him.

In the heat of the moment I move my hips slowly, earning another groan from him. He breaks the kiss. “Don’t do that here. Save that for later.” These words make me do it again. And now move hips in a way he can definitely feel it. I do too. In that short moment, I can feel his hard-on. Oh god, is he just as turned on as I am?

Our lips connect again and all of sudden I see flashes around us. Shit, the paparazzi. Neymar doesn’t break the kiss though. That happens a minute later. He let’s go off of my jaw and he brings his mouth close to my ear.

“I’m sure you will make the front page now, bêbe.”

[ckret2]

Hi, found you through your Hazbin fic "You've Got A Face for Radio" and just. I've already left a comment on the ao3 about the fic in particular, but I also wanted reach out to another aro ace person, because while I do think I am on the ace spectrum, I am still kind of figuring things out. I've talked to a few people about not experiencing attraction, at least in the form most people do, and what they say almost always boils down to "you'll know it when you feel it" and "maybe you've felt it but repressed it subconsciously", which, I know they mean well but, it's not what I think is the case. I'm just. Kind of stuck on the enjoying NSFW stuff if it's fictional characters bit. What even classifies as sexual attraction anyway? Who defines it when it can vary from person to person?

Anyway, I hope I'm not being a bother, it's just that your fic gave me a lot to think. I'd have sent a dm since this might become a discussion (if you're willing) but I'm not sure what the Internet etiquette is here.

"You'll know it when you feel it" "maybe you've repressed it" lmaooo if that isn't THE MOST COMMON line questioning aces/aros get. Have you got "maybe you haven't met the right person" yet? There probably isn't an ace/aro in the world who's explored their identity without some (hopefully) well-meaning but oblivious allo saying one of those things.

When they DO mean well, it comes from a place of not being able to imagine being ace/aro; it seems more likely to most allos that the attraction is hiding rather than absent entirely. You can rest assured that anybody who says that is expressing something about their own understanding of sexuality, rather than anything about their understanding of your sexuality.

Honestly and sincerely, the "enjoying NSFW stuff if it's fictional characters" bit is what personally delayed me from identifying as ace for, like, a decade longer than it had to. "Well hey, I love thinking about sex if it's some kind of alien or robot, that doesn't seem very ace; so I must not be ace, maybe I just haven't yet met a normal real-life person who's interesting enough for me." But that kind of thinking comes from not understanding what being ace is!

Because the criteria for being ace is actually a lot lower than most people think. It's not "never thinks people are attractive," or "disgusted by sexual situations," or even "never wants to have sex." Those can be part of the experience of asexuality but they aren't necessary. (Some aces think people are attractive, just not sexually attractive! Some aces want to have sex, they just aren't sexually attracted to the people they're having it with, they're interested in the act rather than the partner! It's a spectrum!)

The litmus test I personally use for "sexual attraction," and that's worked for a lot of people I know, is this:

Have you ever looked at somebody, thought they were hot, and automatically thought to yourself that you'd LOVE to have sex with them if the opportunity ever arose? Maybe not even realistically wanted that to happen, but just felt that as a gut feeling? Just thought yeah, it'd be hot to sleep with them with the same instinctive immediate reaction that you might, say, see something delicious and think "ohhh that looks so good I wanna eat that" or see a really cool trailer and think "I SO wanna see that movie"?

That's sexual attraction. You, personally, automatically feel like you wanna have sex with somebody—possibly even a stranger!—possibly even if you know you wouldn't actually really choose to do it IRL for whatever reason—just because they're sexy.

If you haven't experienced that specific feeling before, you're almost definitely some flavor of ace.

(And even if you HAVE experienced that feeling before you might still be ace—possibly some flavor of gray-ace or demi-ace. Some people do experience that feeling, but so so very rarely that they feel like their overall experience of sexual attraction is more ace than allo. Some people experience that feeling but ONLY toward somebody they have a deep emotional connection to, whereas allos can experience that feeling toward strangers. Some people experience that feeling but if actually faced with the OPTION to have that sex they're turned off. All of these are ways to be ace. So the litmus test isn't the be-all end-all; but if that feeling has NEVER happened to you, that's probably ace.)

Based on this ask and on the comment you left me on Ao3, I'm guessing your form of engagement with sexuality is like what I wrote about in the fic: reading about characters having wild nasty sex is great, could read smut and/or smutty comics all day, maybe you fantasize about your blorbos screwing, maybe you've gotten off to these fantasies or to smut... but: all your fantasies are about somebody else having sex. Probably somebody else who isn't even real.

Are you ever in those fantasies? How do you feel about "character x reader" fics, does being y/n turn you on or does it squick you out to imagine [character] flirting with YOU? Do you ever think "wow I'D like to fuck [character]" or is it only "I wanna see [character] fuck (but I don't wanna be there myself)"? If "you" ever ARE in these fantasies, is it actually YOU, REALLY YOU, or are you just imagining the fantasy from the perspective of another character who isn't you? Do you ever have a sexual interest in the actors/voice actors, or does your sexual interest in them vanish when you aren't viewing them as their (fictional) character?

I can't tell you whether you're ace; but I can tell you that "I'm ONLY interested in FICTIONAL characters doing EACH OTHER, and I would lose interest if they were real people" is not a normal/common allosexual experience.

And if you're into micro labels, there are a couple under the asexual umbrella that describes that exact experience. The current term is aegosexual. (Older term autochorissexual; that was the current term when I learned it so I still tend to use it lmao.) It's for people whose primary experience of sexuality is fantasies that they themselves aren't part of. It's not mentioned on the page I've linked, but a LOT of aegosexuals have reported that they're specifically most into fantasies about cartoon/drawn characters and other fictional characters—the more "real" they are, the less appealing they are.

(And there's the related term "aegoromantic"—I'm focusing on sexuality here since that's mainly what the ask focused on, and also because historically I've seen less people struggle with "I don't want romance, I just enjoy reading love stories; I must be aro" compared to "I don't want sex, I just enjoy reading smut; I must be ace.")

Learning the term autochorissexual/aegosexual and why it made sense to fit under the ace umbrella is what got me over the hurdle of "oh, hey, I guess I am ace"—if you think it describes your experience, I hope it can help you too. If not, it at least shows just how varied the ace experience can be.

(I'm answering this publicly because I've seen SO MANY PEOPLE grappling with "I like FAKE sex; does that mean I can't be ace?"—many of whom have contacted me because of that fic, shocked to see someone else describe their own experiences and call it a flavor of ace—so I'm hoping this might help other questioning aces/aros! But you're also welcome to DM me!)

[starlightkun]

❧ word count: 8.7k ❧ warnings: cursing, mentions of drinking (new year’s eve party) ❧ genre: fluff, new year’s themed, attorney kun, wedding planner reader (i know next to nothing abt wedding planning, sorry!), aged up kun (he’s like mid/late 30s and reader is implied to also be around that age) ❧ extra info: this is the last of my impromptu series of three (and a half) hallmark-esque fics starring kun for the 2023 holiday season. i've made a mini masterlist here for fun ❧ author’s note: i once again wrote this in like 48 hours and had even less time to proof it bc i wanted to get it out before new year’s so im sorry abt any errors! also a happy early birthday to the loml

“Hopeless for the Holidays?” You snorted, reading the email flyer your friend had just forwarded to you. “You told me you had something fun for us to do for New Year’s.”

“This will be!” She pleaded with you. “It’s a mixer for single professionals who, you know, have no other plans on New Year’s Eve. Like us.”

“Hopeless for the Holidays?” You snorted, reading the email flyer your friend had just forwarded to you. “You told me you had something fun for us to do for New Year’s.”

“This will be!” Eunji pleaded with you. “It’s a mixer for single professionals who, you know, have no other plans on New Year’s Eve. Like us.”

“So, an excuse to get drunk and mack on a stranger at midnight. Did that enough in my twenties. Pass.”

“Nooo, it’s going to be super classy; I swear! It’s happening at the old courthouse downtown. It’s so nice there. The dress code is literally festive black tie—”

“What does that even mean? Is it festive or is it black tie? And how did you even get invited to this?” You read the domain name of the original sender, then zoomed in on the details of flyer to double, triple check. “It’s being held by the Bar Association?”

“Attorneys aren’t that bad,” she replied, clearly miffed.

“Yeah, you aren’t,” you said pointedly. “Former debate bros are.”

“There’s going to be so many mature, serious, single professionals there for you, I promise.”

“It’s literally called Hopeless for the Holidays.”

“So it’s a bit tongue-in-cheek.”

“If its tongue were any more in its cheek, it would bite it off.”

“See? You’re so witty, these guys are going to be falling over themselves trying to have intellectual conversations with you.”

“If a single one calls my job cute, I’m out of there.”

“That’s a yes! Thank you thank you thank you!”

On December 31st, you stepped into the old courthouse downtown with Eunji, out of the freezing cold and into a bright, glamorous venue. The main entry had been converted into a ballroom of sorts for the occasion, all the original marble flooring and walls, and oak and gold detailing preserved. Round, standing cocktail tables had been set up all around, a bar to the back and the side, waiters coming around with hors d’oeuvres, and even a live band set up on the landing of the grand staircase at the back. It was decorated in festive, New Year’s appropriate gold, silver, and black decorations, tinsel, baubles, stars, miscellaneous firework-adjacent shapes.

“Okay… not bad,” you muttered to Eunji as you took it all in.

“Told you it would be classy!” She whispered victoriously to you. Latching onto your arm, she pulled you into the crowd. “Come on!”

She diverted your course towards a table, and you saw a dark-haired man standing there in a neutral grey suit with a red-and-green plaid tie.

“Y/N, you remember my coworker, Kim Doyoung.” Your friend gestured between the two of you.

“Of course, it’s good to see you again, Doyoung.” You greeted the man brightly.

The few lawyer activities that Eunji had dragged you to before—more casual affairs—you had been introduced to many of her coworkers, but Doyoung must have been the only one that fit the criteria for tonight: single and hopeless on New Year’s Eve.

“You too, Y/N.” He nodded to you politely.

You liked Doyoung and all, he was a nice man, but you could already tell from the few times you’d met him before that he was a workaholic. Now, you were aware that most lawyers were, but Doyoung seemed beyond that. Eunji brought you to their firm’s Holiday Party last year, where he was recognized for putting in the most billable hours out of dozens of attorneys—and he was only a junior partner. You doubted he went anywhere but work, the courthouse, and home, where he presumably did even more work.

“Eunji, I’m so glad you’re here, actually,” Doyoung pulled out his phone, opening up his email app. “I was at the office right before I came here and—”

“No, Doyoung.” Eunji snatched his phone from hands, turned it off, and tucked it inside his jacket pocket. “No work. Don’t make any work calls, take any work calls, check your email, none of that.”

“But we’re surrounded by other lawyers.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine, you can talk about some law stuff, informally. But I want you to actually talk to human people not for the purposes of a file tonight, okay? Sound good?”

“I suppose I can do that for a night.”

“And I want you to find someone to kiss at midnight.”

“What?!”

“That isn’t me or Y/N.”

Doyoung seemed like he was about to pass out. “Eunji, this is very unprofessional—”

“I just said I’m off-limits.”

“Yes, but—”

“I’m going to get Eunji and I drinks,” you interrupted their typical bickering.

“Negroni!” She chirped, squeezing your arm before going right back into with her coworker.

With the sounds of their squabbling fading into the din of the crowd, you slowly meandered to the bar on the opposite side of the room. Putting in Eunji’s negroni and your own cocktail order with the bartender, you watched as he got caught by a very insistent older man who clearly thought himself to be very important as he put in what seemed like seven different drink orders as he ticked them off on his fingers as he spoke.

The bartender stopped by you to grab a glass, and you offered, “You can take care of him first, if you need. Seems like he’s in a rush. I don’t mind waiting.”

“Are you sure?”

“Go for it.”

And he moved off to do that, you were happy to turn around and people watch for the moment. You’d always known that law was a boys’ club, but this was just… sad. The few women who were here were interspersed, but you were definitely outnumbered at least 10 to 1. That left a lot of the men to group off and chat among themselves. If Eunji didn’t find somebody tonight after dragging you out here, you’d kill her.

A movement in the corner of your eye caught your attention, and you saw three men coming towards you through the crowd on your left, at least one of them already visibly tipsy. You shifted your eyes forward, trying to gauge if you should just abandon your drinks and find Eunji and Doyoung again wherever they ended up.

Then, someone was sliding up to the bar on your right, a pretty, smooth voice, “Hi. Do you have a moment to talk?”

You turned to your right, the voice matched to a rather handsome man, face framed by chestnut brown hair, and lips pulled into a charming, dimpled smile. He wasn’t too close to you that you felt like he was invading your personal space, a polite distance, just near enough so that you knew he was talking to you. Well that, and his piercing, dark eyes focused entirely on you as if there were nothing else he could possibly be looking at in the room. Not unblinking, but not distracted. He was the only man that you’d seen so far who had figured out the festive black-tie dress code, in a traditional tuxedo except in a deep midnight blue color, with several glittering brooches of fine materials on one lapel. Not overdone, and definitely not Christmas, which was a week ago. He already had a drink in his hand, some kind of dark liquor, neat. Whiskey, scotch, or bourbon, presumably.

“Sure.” You offered a small smile in return. “I’m waiting on my drink.”

The man set his drink down on the bar then, and offered his hand that hadn’t been holding it out to you.

“Qian Kun.” He introduced himself. “I haven’t seen you at a Bar Association event before.”

You shook his hand. It was warm. “That’s probably because I’m not a member. I’m a plus-one.”

“Ah, well that makes sense.”

“Y/L/N Y/N, by the way.”

“So what do you do then, Y/N?”

“I’m a wedding planner.”

“Wow, I’ve heard that’s pretty high-stress.” He actually seemed impressed, his eyebrows disappearing into his hair for a moment.

“I’ve heard the same about being an attorney,” you pointed out coyly.

“I don’t have bridezillas or in-laws to deal with on a daily basis.”

“I’ll take talking down a bridezilla over why she can’t have those specific orchids she saw on Pinterest because they won’t survive the two-hour outdoor ceremony and four-hour reception at her summer wedding due to how sensitive to heat they are over having to argue with my whole chest some position that I don’t even believe in just because I’m being paid to.”

“You think trial lawyers are sleazy?” He asked, the corner of his lip quirking up as if he found this amusing.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to offend,” you apologized flatly.

He sipped his drink. “Not all attorneys are trial lawyers, you know.”

“You aren’t?”

“Corporate. General counsel for businesses, contracts, that sort of thing.”

“Paper pusher.”

“You were brought here by a litigator,” he said knowingly.

“How’d you know?”

“Us paper pushers don’t really call each other that.”

“Right. She does insurance defense.” You were interrupted by the bartender finally returning with your two drinks, and you thanked him, opening your clutch for whatever cash was in there to hand him as a tip. Turning back to Kun, feeling the need to clarify something. “I don’t think she’s sleazy, exactly. You know, in criminal proceedings, the defendant is entitled to an attorney, right? And the state provides one if they can’t afford it. I think normal people should have competent representation in civil proceedings, too, just to help navigate the legal system. I think she does something good overall. I just… couldn’t do it myself.”

“A lot of time, it’s not about the facts, or what you believe, it’s about the law. Making the better argument.”

“Yeah, which is kind of what I hate about it.”

“That’s more than fair,” Kun agreed. “So what do you like about wedding planning then?”

“The moment that everything finally comes together, and I get to be the one who delivers the couple’s perfect day to them,” you sighed happily. “Every single meltdown, canceled vendor, whatever, is worth it when I get to see it all come together.”

“You love love?”

“Well, that, and I’ve also been told that I’m a bit of a control freak.”

“Playing to your strengths with your choice of career.”

“I’ve long embraced the control freak,” you declared genuinely. “What do you like about corporate law?”

“I’m not a trial attorney, first of all,” he started, making you chuckle. “And I really like contracts. Reviewing them, drafting them, refining them. I’ve been told I have an eye for detail.”

“Isn’t that a nice way of saying of saying control freak?”

“I suppose it is, yes.”

“And you know why that is, right?” You asked pointedly. “Why you ‘have an eye for detail’ and I’m a ‘control freak?’”

Kun didn’t miss a beat. “Of course. You’re a woman, so the same traits that are desirable in men are things that you get shamed for.”

“Huh.” You hid a pleasantly surprised smile behind your glass as you went to take a sip. So far, he had passed every level on your mental flowchart that you used to quickly weed out men who weren’t worth your time. “So you’re responsible for the Terms and Conditions nobody reads?”

“Possibly.”

“And you’ve definitely heard that one before.”

“Would it make you feel better if I said I hadn’t?”

“No,” you shook your head with a smile.

“It was worth a shot.”

You gathered up both of the drinks you’d been given. “It was nice chatting, Kun, but I do have to get this back to my friend before the ice melts and waters down her drink, unfortunately.”

“By all means; I’m grateful for your time that I did get.” He nodded to you graciously. “It was lovely meeting you, Y/N. I hope we’ll talk again later.”

Taking the two drinks back over to the table that Eunji was standing at, she looked at you with wide eyes and a knowing smirk. Doyoung had disappeared at some point, presumably to get on with his assignment from Eunji.

“Your drink, ma’am.” You handed it to her with mock fanfare.

“So who was that?” She asked lightly.

“Hm?”

“The guy you were talking to at the bar for so long.”

“Oh, uhm, Qian Kun? Have you heard of him?”

“No, I haven’t. He say what firm he works for?”

“Didn’t think to ask. But it makes sense you don’t know him, he’s a paper pusher.”

“Ohh… corporate?”

“Yep. General counsel for businesses, contracts. Guy really loves contracts.”

“Oh boring.” She wrinkled her nose with distaste, then took a sip of her drink. “Ack. Y/N, seriously? You let my cocktail get watered down for a contracts guy?”

“I thought I had excused myself before it got watered down, sorry,” you apologized, rolling your eyes at her dramatics. “But he wasn’t talking about contracts the whole time I was over there, really. He was asking me about my job.”

You opted to not mention the part of your conversation about trial attorneys such as your friend.

This detail piqued her interest again. “Oh, okay. You didn’t walk out, so I assume he behaved accordingly?”

“He… was nice.” You conceded.

“That’s the best thing I’ve heard you say about a guy!”

“Eunji, hon, I didn’t come out here expecting to find my soulmate, alright?” You patted her shoulder. “A couple free drinks, hanging out with you, chatting with some nice people, and I’ll consider it a success, alright?”

“Why can’t you be open to something?” She sighed.

“I am. If it happens to find me. I’m just not exactly looking for it right now, okay?”

“Fine.”

“How about we worry about you in the meantime, alright? Since you definitely are searching,” you suggested, looking around the large room with intent. “What about those guys over there? By the Christmas tree?”

“God, no.” She coughed and turned her head, very conspicuously covering her face with her hair. “You see the tall one?”

“Yeah, he’s really good-looking.”

“And we’re going to be avoiding him all night. Johnny Suh.”

“Wait, as in—”

“Yeah.”

“—your ex from law school.”

“That one.”

“Well. I definitely get it now.”

“Could you be more obvious that you’re staring, Y/N? Christ.”

You casually moved around the table so that both of your backs were to that group as you continued talking. “How have you been attending like any Bar Association functions then? If you’re like this?”

“He just moved here. I heard rumors but didn’t want to believe it until I saw him with my own two eyes. Which ended up being tonight.”

“Okay, well…” You looked around again, spotting another group at a nearby table. “How about them? The guys that Doyoung is talking to.”

Eunji peered over at where you were looking. “I mean, one of them is Yuta, which, ew. He works in international law at my firm but the other three… yes, sure, yeah. I think I did my clerkship with one of those guys, actually. Let’s go.”

After being introduced by Doyoung to the three men with him—Jungwoo, Sicheng, and Taeil—you found out that Eunji had in fact done her summer clerkship under a federal judge with Jungwoo during law school. As they got to chatting, and the others talked about some recent fascinating court ruling, you slowly sipped on your drink, zoning in and out of conversations. You loved your friend, really, but there was a reason that you had met at yoga and not in law school. Hearing lawyers talk about law was going to make your brain bleed out of your ears. Your thoughts drifted back to Qian Kun, and your eyes briefly flitted around the room, wondering where he had ended up.

“And what do you do, Y/N?” Yuta suddenly yanked you back into the conversation.

“Hm?” You blinked. “Oh, I’m a wedding planner.”

“Cool. Sounds fun.”

You immediately looked over at Eunji, and she flashed you the quickest lift of her eyes in an eye roll that would be imperceptible to anybody else.

“So how’s your mission coming along, Doyoung?” You decided to entertain yourself.

Sicheng and Taeil immediately stopped their conversation to look over, confused.

“I’m talking to people not directly about cases at work.” He looked at you with wide eyes, obviously hoping you wouldn’t divulge the other half of it. “I’ve done it.”

“Okay, and who are you kissing at midnight?”

“Huh?!” Yuta let out a comically bewildered noise.

Doyoung groaned, then pointed an accusatory finger at your friend. “Eunji… ordered me to not work tonight and find somebody to… kiss at midnight…”

You shrugged. “I’m checking in on his progress.”

“Are you offering, Y/N?” Yuta questioned teasingly.

“No,” you snorted. “I’m ineligible. Sorry.”

“You came to a singles event and you’re… not single?” Jungwoo cocked his head.

“I am. I’m just not letting some stranger put their tongue down my throat at midnight because of it.” You finished off your drink. “Sorry.”

“And there’s no way I’d let either of you do anything to my friend,” Eunji grabbed your arm protectively, pointing between Doyoung and Yuta. “I know how you live. And I’m not impressed.”

“Gee, thanks,” Doyoung scoffed.

“Yeah, understandable,” Yuta shrugged.

After a bit more mingling, you and Eunji once again ended up by yourselves at a table. She had her cheek dejectedly in hand, visible pout on her face.

“So? Have you liked anybody so far?” You asked her. “Felt a connection? Seemed like you and Jungwoo were getting along… Or that environmental attorney, uhm, Taeyong?”

“I don’t know, I don’t think so,” she sighed, straightening up. “I’m going to use the bathroom. Come with?”

“I can, or I can get us drinks again. Which do you want?”

“Mm, drinks. Thanks.”

“Of course, hon.”

On your way back to the bar, you spotted a familiar blue suit jacket in the crowd and decided to make a short detour.

“Kun.” You approached, stopping behind him at a table.

The attorney turned around, a wide smile coming to his face as he recognized you. “Y/N, hello again.”

“Yeah, hey,” you beamed. “Mind if I chat with you for a second?”

“Please do.”

“I was on the way to the bar to grab another round for my friend and I while she freshens up, then I saw you,” you explained, settling in to lean beside him at his table. “But she’ll be a while…”

“Lucky me then.” A dimple appeared in his cheek. “And honestly, you might want to hold off on the drinks. They’re going to start bringing out champagne at eleven.”

“What time is it?”

He checked his silver, analog watch. “Ten fifty-four.”

“I think I will hold off, then. Eunji loves champagne. Thanks for the tip.”

“Of course.”

“You here all alone?” You indicated the empty table he was standing at. “I mean, I know it’s a singles event or whatever, but people have at least been talking to friends or colleagues too.”

“I was with some others a few minutes ago, we were celebrating a recent promotion, but they all seemed to have left me.”

“Promotion? Whose?”

“Ah, mine,” he admitted, hand habitually smoothing over the lapels of his suit.

“Congrats. And what have you been promoted to?”

“Senior partner. Non-equity.”

“Celebrating your promotion at an event for lonely singles? Bit sad.”

“If I’m being honest, I’m only here because my friend pressured me.” He nodded towards a dark-haired man in an emerald green velvet jacket, who you had seen darting about the event the whole night. “Ten helped organize it.”

“I was forced here by my friend too, Eunji,” you laughed. “She just about dragged me in kicking and screaming.”

“I didn’t put up that much resistance myself, admittedly,” Kun chuckled.

“Oh? You secretly wanted to come?” You half-joked and half-asked.

“Something like that.”

“Really? Do tell.”

“When Ten was first telling me his plans for the event, I thought, knowing him, it was just a convoluted way to get wasted and make out with a stranger,” he shook his head. “But the promotion sort of put some… things into perspective. And I feel like the New Year always makes me reflect more than others.”

“Why is that? You feel like you reflect on New Year more than other people?”

“My birthday is January 1st.”

“Oh…” You nodded in understanding. “Time marches on.”

“Yes, it does. I get the hit of a New Year and getting older on the same day.”

“I know we just met, but I feel like you’re already sharing something pretty personal, so I’ll ask: How old will you be? At midnight?”

“Thirty-six,” he said it like he was in a confessional, quietly, dipping his head down to looking down at his feet, then straight up at the ceiling, tilting his head back.

“Kun… You know that’s not even half your life, right? Statistically?” You arched an eyebrow.

“I’m aware. I’m not ashamed of my age, really. I’m quite happy to be out of my twenties. But now, about to be closer to forty than thirty… there’s things about my life that twenty-year-old me thought would’ve been quite different than they actually are.”

“Is this connected to your new perspective from your promotion?”

“Yes. A lot of people take their promotion as an incentive to work harder but… I think I’m going to cut back.”

“Does your firm know about this?”

“My new position comes with a certain amount of security.”

“You’re a damn good lawyer, Kun,” you chuckled.

Kun seemed caught off-guard for the first time in your conversation. “Well, I mean, yes, I suppose—”

“You’ve been talking around your point for the past five minutes. Now that you’re at a certain place in your career, you want a family. When you were twenty, you promised yourself you would do it all, career and family, then along the way you slowly started conceding more and more in order to get ahead, and now you’re looking back and realizing you wanted to have more in your life than just work by now. So you let Ten talk you into coming out to this singles mixer hoping that maybe you’d luck into your future spouse in one go.” You poked him on the chest. “Sound about right?”

He raised his gaze from your finger on his dress shirt to your face, a wonder-filled smile on his lips that turned into a knowing smirk as he challenged, “Seems as though you’re… familiar with similar circumstances.”

You took your hand back before giving a casual shrug. “Maybe. How close was I?”

“Scarily accurate. Did my mother put you up to this?”

“No. But, let me guess, she’s been not-so-subtly asking for grandchildren?”

“Only for the past decade.”

“Ouch.”

A waiter then came by carrying a plate of champagne, offering some out. Kun grabbed two flutes off the tray and offered one to you. You accepted it graciously.

“Thank you.” Tilting the golden liquid back and forth contemplatively, you asked, “Do you happen to know if Ten got real champagne or sparkling wine?”

“Whatever real champagne is, he probably did not splurge on it, no,” Kun chuckled.

“Nobody actually knows the difference, I was just curious.” You took a sip. “Good quality wine.”

“What is the difference?”

“Technically, real champagne can only come from the Champagne region of France,” you explained. “Whenever a couple comes in insisting on real champagne, but without the budget for it, I have tell them that they’ve probably never had real champagne in their lives anyway, and their guests will not know the difference between real champagne and a good sparkling wine.”

“Your job must require you to be knowledgeable about a lot of different things, doesn’t it? Wine, flowers, food, logistics.”

“Money, budgeting, color theory, weather, you name it, I probably have to know at least the basics, maybe more.”

Kun’s admiration and interest once again seemed genuine. “And what sort of degree do you get to be a wedding planner? Is there a degree for it? Certification program? I mean, it’s not as linear of a path as being an attorney…”

“There’s some event planning associate and bachelor programs. I have a degree in hospitality, and then mentored under a wedding planner to learn the ropes before going off on my own.”

“So you own your own business?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Wow…” He trailed off, eyes focused on you, beholding you.

You laughed self-consciously. “I don’t think I’ve ever made anybody speechless with that information. You alright, Kun? How much have you had to drink?”

“I’m quite sober, this will only be drink number two.” He lifted the champagne.

“Really?”

“I do need to drive myself home tonight.”

“I’m DD as well. And I’m also past my ‘getting shitfaced in public’ days,” you chuckled, lifting your drink to your lips again, looking out over how many of the other partygoers were more than tipsy.

“You’re beautiful, by the way.” Kun’s voice brought your eyes back to him, his eyes twinkling under the lights as he looked at you.

Your skin felt warm, and your heart jumped a bit. “Thank you.”

“That’s what I was thinking about, when I trailed off a moment ago.”

“You didn’t open with that. Earlier, by the bar,” you commented. “Why not?”

“I needed to know if you even wanted to talk to some random man first.”

“But after that.”

“I didn’t want you to think I was walking up to every woman here tonight and telling her that.”

“You’re not?” You teased, the corner of your lip quirking up.

He shook his head. “I’m not.”

“Well, you’re a paper pusher… so I suppose I can take your word for it.”

“I appreciate that.”

Checking the time on your phone, you then got up on your tiptoes, peering around for Eunji.

“Looking for your friend?” Kun asked.

“Yes, she should’ve been out by now.” You frowned.

“Do you need to go look for her?”

“Let me shoot her a text first. She might just be taking a while fixing her makeup…”

[you: jiji, you fall in? everything okay?]

Thankfully, but much to your surprise, she texted back almost immediately.

[jiji: i’m okkkk! chatting with taeyong from earlier! sorry for leaving you!]

[jiji: GREAT champagne btw 🍾🍾🥂🥂]

[you: that’s fine. you two have fun! call me if you need anything]

“She’s alright,” you chuckled, turning off your phone. “Found a friend. And the champagne.”

“Does that mean you’re free right now then?”

“Why yes, yes it does.”

“Lucky me.” He grinned. “So have you ever been in the old courthouse before this?”

“No, I haven’t. Never been to an event here, and it closed before I was born.”

“Well, we have…” He looked at his watch again. “Fifty-three minutes until midnight. How would you like a personal tour?”

“Can you do that?” You raised an eyebrow. “There’s ropes blocking off the hallways.”

“Ten’s part of the event committee for the Bar Association, and I’m part of the historical committee. We’re in charge of the preservation and restoration of the courthouse. I know which parts we can go in and which ones we can’t. Besides, if we were caught, the person they would report us to would be me.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “Alright, sure. Sounds fun.”

“I will have to ask that you leave the champagne. No liquids.”

“Of course.” You nodded, stepping away from your drink.

Kun cordially offered you his elbow, and you took it, well aware that the giddy, warm buzz in your body wasn’t from the few sips of champagne you’d just had. He led you through the crowd, and as you approached the black velvet ropes cordoning off the hallways, he looked around to make sure nobody was watching, then stepped over it. He offered his hand out to you, and you placed yours atop for him to steady you as you also stepped over the rope. You took one more look over your shoulder before you two quickly ducked around the marble column and out of sight.

The darkened hallway you entered was much smaller than the grand foyer you had been in for most of the night. In the dim light being let in through the windows, you could make out the multitude of frames along the walls, sconces clearly meant for oil lamps, and a few pieces of furniture—mainly chairs and tables pushed against the wall.

“This is where the clerk’s office was,” Kun explained. “The door at the end of the hall. But first—”

He stopped at a frame, and with your eyes adjusted to the low light, you could see the art that was in it. It was of the courthouse itself, but a whimsical interpretation, with flying chariots in the sky above it, and mermaids swimming in a river in front of it that certainly had never been there.

“It’s a beautiful etching,” you commented. “Do you know who did it?”

“We think a local artist, but they didn’t sign it,” he sighed, gesturing to the four corners, all blank. “And there’s nothing on the back. It’s something we’ve been working with local art curators and historians to try to track down.”

“That’s… sad.” You couldn’t find a better word. “I mean, it’s incredible that their work survived all these years and is still being seen and people are working to find out who created it… but it’s still sad that their identity was lost in the first place.”

“One of the experts we had look at it believes it’s a first or second state that the artist never intended to actually be the final piece, so that’s why they didn’t sign it.”

“It makes you wonder if they never made the finished piece or if the finished piece didn’t survive.”

“Also makes you imagine that artist all those years ago looking at this and thinking that it wasn’t good enough to put their name on, and now we’re looking at it wishing we knew who made it because we think it’s so beautiful.”

Your eyes scanned over the chariots and puffy clouds and mermaids swimming among the waves, then drifted over to Kun. “What was your undergrad degree in, Kun?”

“History, why?” He looked over at you inquisitively.

“Just curious.” You shrugged. “I know you can do anything before going to law school, so I thought I’d ask.”

“A lot of my peers did Political Science or Criminal Justice, but you don’t actually learn much about the law in those programs like people think you will. Everybody starts on a pretty even playing field when it comes to stuff that’ll be on the tests. But as for practical skills... majors that give you good research, writing, and critical thinking skills were really the best ones to go with. So the humanities majors were honestly running laps around everyone else the first semester or so.”

“You’re on the historical committee, so you just like history, too. Right?”

“Yes, I do.” He nodded, slowly guiding you further down the hallway. “I like knowing how we ended up here. The people that came before us, how they’re still influencing us even today. I think we have a duty to remember them, learn as much as we can, and preserve that knowledge and pass it down. Because I would want somebody to do that for us as well. I know we have cameras, and phones, and can document things so much better now, but that’s probably also what they thought a hundred years ago. But things still get destroyed, and lost, and people pass, and stuff gets forgotten. So I hope we never stop being curious about where we came from.”

“I like that, Kun.” You squeezed his arm. “I really do.”

He smiled almost bashfully, looking down at his feet, then back up as he stopped in front of the door at the end of the hallway, gesturing in. “This is the clerk’s office. We can’t go in since it is very much still pre-restoration and I’m afraid you may get injured.”

“That’s fine, I’ll peer in from here,” you chuckled, looking around from the threshold. There were floorboards haphazardly strewn about, but you could see one main desk, in the same dark oak color as everything else, multitudes of filing cabinets, and several different large, old manual machines that you weren’t quite sure what they did but you were sure there were probably an electric version of most, if not all, at any office building in the city.

“So this is where all the court documents were filed?” You clarified your knowledge that you had picked up from knowing a few attorneys in your life.

“Yes. Court documents were filed, real estate documents, and notary applications. They also did a few other things in this building that weren’t just trials, but weren’t handled by the clerk. I’ll show you in a second.”

Around the corner, Kun showed you where business licenses used to be processed, and where motor vehicle and driver’s licenses were taken care of before they got their own office long before this courthouse closed. In between all of these rooms, there were various pieces of art, painting, photographs, drawings, maps, or historical documents to look at on the walls as well.

The next room was a bit larger, and you were able to actually walk into this one, the first out of all of them. It had higher ceilings and a skylight, but not quite the infrastructure and grandeur to make you think that you were in the courtroom yet.

“The historical committee has been focused on getting this one ready sooner, with some pressure from the event committee. They think it’ll bring some outside business in,” he explained, guiding you towards the front, where there was what looked like a wood countertop of some sort. The windows on the far wall had a funny sort of tint to them, and you realized they were stained glass in various colors. They didn’t depict any specific religious imagery, but they were the only ones you had seen in the entire courthouse, almost giving the impression of a chapel.

“Why is that?” You asked Kun curiously. “Also, why is this the only room with stained glass windows?”

“This was where all the marriages in this jurisdiction were performed for hundreds of years. At least the legal part, the signing of the certificate. The actual wedding ceremonies were obviously up to the couples.” He said, then gestured to the wood countertop. “That’s where the certificate was signed. The stained glass was to emulate a religious setting without directly referencing any one religion. The event committee thinks people will want to hold their actual weddings here.”

You looked around at the room, already thinking about how many people would fit in here, how you would set up a possible wedding ceremony in here.

“So what do you think, wedding planner?” Kun prompted you.

“You want my advice for free?” You teased.

He held his hands up. “I’m humbly making conversation.”

“As a favor for taking me on this lovely tour, I’ll tell you what I think,” you giggled. “It’s pretty small. This area attracts a lot of big money weddings. It might work for a couple who wants an intimate ceremony but a bigger reception, if they can also use the foyer for the reception. Especially couples who aren’t necessarily religious, but don’t want to completely go off-book by not having a church wedding, since it feels similar to a chapel, and a courthouse is still formal like a church. You’ll also attract the kind of couples who are looking for unique venues: old bank vaults, railroad stations, cemeteries, that kind of thing. But again, the size of the room for the ceremony is really going to be a limiting factor for booking.”

Kun looked at you with wide eyes. “You can get married at a cemetery?”

“Uh-huh.” You nodded, unfazed by that factoid at this point in your life. “Halloween weddings are pretty popular in a certain crowd.”

“I don’t think I’d want to get married on a holiday.” He shook his head. “Christmas, Valentine’s Day, anything. Or one of our birthdays. It’s…”

“Tacky?”

“There we go.”

“I agree. I think the only special date that I can make an exception for would be an anniversary. Anniversary of getting engaged, anniversary of our first date, anniversary of when we met, that kind of thing.”

Kun had the same look in his eyes as when you told him that you owned your own business, like you were the most incredible thing he had ever witnessed, and he couldn’t imagine ever looking at anything else for the rest of his life. “What if one of those is on a holiday?”

“Then we’d just have to pick a different date. Can’t be tacky.”

“Oh God, of course not,” Kun chuckled jokingly. “My worst nightmare.”

Still gazing around the non-denominational not-chapel, you were overcome with a feeling of unease, suddenly being overwhelmed with memories that you hadn’t thought of in a very long time. You glanced down at your empty left hand, then wrapped it back around Kun’s arm, looking up at the stained glass windows again.

“I was almost engaged once. In my twenties,” you stated into the stillness.

Kun took this pivot in conversational tone in stride. “And how do you almost get engaged?”

“He had me pick my ring and then… never proposed with it.”

“Oh, Y/N, I’m so sorry,” he said softly.

“Mm, could’ve been worse. I could’ve married him,” you laughed. “You know what’s funny?”

“Tell me.”

You turned to him still with a grin on your face. “He was a lawyer.”

“What kind?” Kun asked, then immediately followed up with, “Don’t say a trial attorney.”

“Nope.”

“Family law.”

“A wedding planner and a divorce lawyer getting married? That sounds like a pretty savvy business model. Or a really great rom-com.”

“You like rom-coms?”

“I’d call it a guilty pleasure, but I’m at the point in my life where I can’t be ashamed of the things I like.” You confirmed your love of the movie genre. “I just can’t watch any that are about wedding planners.”

“Too inaccurate?”

“Yes! It’s always about falling in love with the best man or brother of the groom or something. I’m way too busy to find my soulmate on the job.”

“So was I right? Family law?”

“Nope.”

“IP. Intellectual property.”

“No.”

“I can keep going, there’s practically infinite areas of civil practice that are non-trial.”

“I’m not the one who turned this into a guessing game!” You guffawed incredulously.

“Wait, was he… a corporate attorney?” He let out a fake gasp. “Do you have a type?”

“And who says I’m attracted to you?” You fired back immediately.

“That’s fair, I shouldn’t have assumed.” Kun laughed, smoothing down his lapels. “So what kind of attorney was he?”

“He wasn’t.”

“Wait—”

“He went to law school, so he’s a lawyer, but he never took the bar in order to practice law, so he’s not an attorney,” you declared victoriously through chuckles, much to Kun’s disbelief.

“I can’t believe you got me with that.”

“Don’t contracts require precise language or something?” You feigned cluelessness, making him snort as he knew that you weren’t that dumb.

“Yeah, they do.” He was shaking his head at himself, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “You really got me with that one, goddamn.”

That was the first time you’d heard him curse all night, you realized, despite the fact that you’d already done so multiple times.

“I do… think you’re attractive, by the way, Kun,” you admitted. “And you’ve been great company tonight. I’ve had a wonderful time on this little impromptu tour.”

He chuckled. “Don’t worry about hurting my feelings, attorneys need their egos checked every once in a while. I’m honored to have such a stunning woman checking mine this time.”

“Well, any time you need me to lie to your face and say you’re not one of the most gorgeous men I’ve ever seen, I’m there.”

Kun patted down the front of his tuxedo jacket almost self-consciously, a pleased smile coming to his face and both of his dimples making reappearances. “Really? Well…”

“And I haven’t been walking up to every man tonight saying that, by the way.”

He laughed with his whole chest, eyes and nose scrunching up as he leaned forward, hair getting knocked out of place with his sudden movement. You smiled fondly as you watched him laugh so genuinely, so unrestrained, not in the practiced, manicured way as before. You didn’t think that they were necessarily forced laughs earlier in the night, you were sure that he did genuinely think what you said was funny, but he presumably had a laugh for these formal types of scenarios. And you’d been right, as the sort of laughing he was doing now was far different, warm, joyous, mirthful. It made your heart full to know that it was because of you.

As he caught his breath, the thought occurred to you of how much time you’d spent on your tour already.

“What time is it?” You questioned.

He checked his watch once more. “Eleven thirty-five. I should hurry this tour up to get you back in time for the countdown.”

“Lead the way.”

You and Kun slipped back into the main party with five minutes to spare, and grabbed a couple more glasses of champagne off a waiter as he walked by. You looked around to see if you could spot Eunji now that you were on the opposite side of the room as before. Funny enough, you saw Taeyong and his colleagues that you had met earlier, but not your friend.

“Is something wrong, Y/N?” Kun asked.

“I’m sorry, do you mind if we go talk to someone?” You couldn’t shake the feeling of something being off, despite the large screen set up behind the band displaying the timer now at less than four minutes.

“Of course not.”

Pulling Kun through the crowd by the arm, you landed in front of Lee Taeyong out of breath, offering him a wide smile. “Hi, Taeyong. I don’t know if you remember me, I’m Y/N, we met earlier.”

“Of course, yes, you’re… an event planner, right?” He offered you a bright smile.

“Yeah, yeah.” You didn’t have the time to correct him. “My friend Eunji that was with me, have you seen her? Is she with you?”

The man’s features immediately turned confused. “No, she’s not with me. But I have seen her.”

“Oh, good. Where?”

“Over there,” he nodded behind you. “With Johnny.”

You turned around, eyes zeroing in on a corner of the foyer where Eunji was in fact pressed up into Johnny Suh’s side, giggling and laughing, his arm around her shoulders. He looked about as tipsy as she was, pink-cheeked and giggling too.

Looking back to Taeyong, you smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, Taeyong, one more thing: To the best of your knowledge, she’s been with him for the past hour or so?”

“Uh, yeah, I think so.” He nodded. “They look like they’ve been having a, uhm, pretty good time together. Not to be indecent...”

“Cool, thanks.” You walked off, taking Kun with you.

“So what was that about?” Kun questioned.

“Johnny Suh is Eunji’s ex from law school,” you explained the gravity of the situation. “Not a pretty breakup. Or second breakup. Or third breakup. From what I heard, I didn’t know her then.”

“Are we going to do anything?” Kun questioned as you were very clearly not walking over to Eunji and Johnny.

“I only got Eunji two drinks spread across two hours, so unless she has been chugging champagne at superhuman rates for the past hour, she’s probably only had one or two glasses, which with her alcohol tolerance would put her at mildly tipsy,” you responded with a shrug. “I’m not going to let her leave with him. But otherwise… she can deal with her choices in the morning. It would be way more trouble than it’s worth if I went over there and tried to remove her right now.”

“Gotcha.” He nodded.

“Besides…” You looked over at the countdown, which was now at 1:30. “It’s almost midnight.”

Kun tapped the side of his glass, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Y/N, I don’t want to be presumptive. Just being able to enjoy your company tonight has been more than enough—”

“Kun, I would be offended if you didn’t want to kiss me at midnight.”

“I do, I do,” he chuckled, clearly relieved. “I’m just aware that you had your reservations about coming here tonight, and about the entire premise of the event.”

“Well I said I didn’t want to get drunk and mack on a stranger. I’m not drunk, and I wouldn’t exactly call you a stranger. I feel like I know you a little bit.”

“Yes, I feel like I know you as well.”

A bauble nearby refracted the light into Kun’s eye just right and turned it a rich honey brown color, and the crowd around you began chanting the final countdown from ten. You and Kun both set your champagne flutes down on a nearby table, and you happily stepped into his personal space.

On one, you leaned forward to slot your lips with his, the cheers of the crowd fading out to silence. Kun’s mouth was gentle against yours, even as you curled your fingers in the hair at the back of his neck, resting your other hand on his lapel, fingers mindlessly messing with his brooches. His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

You squeaked into his mouth as that arm around your waist was suddenly used as leverage to dip you, the other supporting your back. You laughed against his lips as you wrapped your entire arm around his neck instead of just one hand, before kissing him again.

“Happy New Year, Y/N,” he murmured.

“Happy New Year, Kun,” you stole another kiss. “And, Happy Birthday.”

“You remembered.”

“Of course.”

When he pulled you back up to stand on your own two feet, you were still grinning like a madwoman, and stayed pressed against his side. “I have to say… I’ve never been dipped before.”

“Seriously?” Kun seemed dumbfounded.

“Seriously.”

“Every man in your life has been dropping the ball, Y/N. Absolutely unacceptable that you hadn’t been dipped before that.”

“I’ll keep that it mind,” you giggled. “Find a guy who’ll dip me when he kisses me more often.”

“Y/N…” He sighed taking both of your hands in his.

“Yes, Kun, I would love to see you again. Specifically, to go on a date.”

“Wedding planner and a mind reader.”

You laughed, cupping his cheek to kiss him again, letting him slowly, tenderly move his mouth against yours. Just as he went to deepen the kiss, you heard a throat get cleared much too close for it to be coincidental, and you damn near jumped out of your skin.

Breaking the kiss, you dropped your hand down to his shoulder and turned towards the source. Eunji was standing there with her arms crossed over her chest and an eyebrow raised. Except she wasn’t alone, as Johnny Suh towered behind her.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying about getting wasted and letting a stranger stick their tongue down your throat?” Eunji cocked her head to the side, eyes flicking back and forth between you and Kun.

“I’m sorry, and what were you saying about Johnny Suh?” You snorted, pointing to the man with her.

Johnny looked down at her, surprised. “Yeah, what were you saying about Johnny Suh?”

“Nothing you didn’t deserve. Good or bad,” Eunji replied dismissively.

“Okay, that’s probably fair.”

“Anyway, I think it’s JiJi and I’s bedtime, so, goodnight, guys.” You took Eunji’s arm and backed away from both Johnny and Kun. Eunji went willingly on both hers and Johnny’s parts, which you were relieved for.

“I’ll walk you to your car,” Kun immediately offered.

“We’ll walk you to your car,” Johnny tacked on, flashing you a million-dollar smile that you were sure had done a lot for him in life.

And so you and Eunji headed out, Kun and Johnny on either side of you. As you were heading for the front doors, you saw a familiar face though, and just had to stop.

“Hey, Doyoung!” You called out to him. “How’d your mission go?”

He stopped, and despite the fact that it was you who asked the question, it was your friend that he focused his stern gaze on. “It’s done, Eunji. Happy?”

Her jaw dropped. “Who was it?!”

“It would be improper of me to say.”

“Oh come on. I’m just supposed to believe you?”

“The deal had no clause for supplying proof. Only that I find someone.” He straightened his tie. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

“I’m going to kill you, Kim Doyoung!” Eunji lunged forward, but Johnny easily caught her and kept her from her intentions of presumably ripping Doyoung limb from limb.

“Maybe you should’ve had a paper pusher like Kun there, Eunji,” you snickered, squeezing Kun’s arm.

The four of you continued your journey outside, Kun holding the door open for the other three of you, as Johnny was still restraining Eunji, just in case. Once the doors had closed behind you all and Doyoung was contained on the other side of them, he let her go.

“God, you get corporate dick one time and you’re brainwashed,” she complained. “Y/N, come back from the boring side! Please!”

“You’re drunk and dramatic,” you deadpanned, leading the way in the direction of your car. “Stop embarrassing yourself more than you already have at your big age.”

She immediately became more serious, but with a slight pout to her bottom lip. “Fine.”

Approaching your car, you slowed to a stop.

“This is us. Thanks for all your…” you paused, looking at Johnny, “…help, guys.”

Johnny flashed you that same million-dollar smile. “Anytime. It was nice meeting you, Y/N. Eunji talked a lot about you.”

“Yeah, sounds like you two were doing a lot of talking from what I heard,” you replied lightly, opening your passenger door for her.

“You’re not subtle, Y/N,” Eunji grumbled, willingly getting in.

You handed her the seatbelt buckle. “I wasn’t trying to be.”

After she had gotten herself situated and you gave her the keys to start the car and the heating, you walked around to the driver’s side, where Kun was waiting for you. Eunji had rolled down her window, and Johnny was bent over, leaning his elbows on the open window to talk to her.

“I have to say, I did not expect to meet someone like you tonight, Y/N,” Kun chuckled, his laughter coming out as fog in the winter air. “You’re… amazing. More than amazing.”

“I think I made it more than obvious that I wasn’t expecting to meet you either,” you laughed. “But thank you, for making this night not only tolerable but incredible. Unforgettable.”

“We uhm, got interrupted earlier, but if we want to see each other, we’ll need to contact each other…?”

“Right, right.” You brought out your phone, handing it to him with a new contact open. “Here.”

He quickly typed in his number, then handed it back to you. “I’ll let you go, since it’s cold and late and you have to get Eunji home.”

“Thanks. I have your number now, so I will definitely be using that.”

“I’ll patiently be awaiting that time then.”

“Goodnight, Kun.” You went to hug him. “And Happy New Year and Happy Birthday one more time.”

“Thank you.” He squeezed you back. “Happy New Year, goodnight, and drive safe.”

“Will do.” You pulled back, giving him a final peck on the cheek. “See you.”

“Bye.” He was beaming, and you took in the beautiful sight of his dimples one last time before turning around to get in your car.

As Eunji took over the Bluetooth in your car to change it to her own phone so she could play her music, you did one more thing on your phone, going into Kun’s contact that he had just created. Qian Kun, and his number. You had one slight correction to make.

Qian Kun 💍

Putting your phone away, you drove away from the curb, looking at Kun waving to you out the rear window. Yeah, you had a good feeling about this one.

⤷ 2023 hallmark movie marathon | blog masterlist

[writingforatwistedworld]

Hi! First time requesting. Do you think you could do a first time meeting neige in the self aware au? Like we're in their world? Thank you ❤️

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, poison, manipulation, unhealthy relationship, obsession, possessiveness

Entering their world

Neige always had a love-hate relationship with you

On one hand you were his ideal, perfection in person and whilst he was not crazy about being the best and only trying his best you were always what he wanted to achieve

On the other it always seemed so easy whenever you did something. Ruling a country? Easy. Being a inspiration? Done in your sleep. Being the embodiment of perfection? Just you breathing checked that criteria

The distaste of the young man also heightened whenever he saw Vil, seeing as his colleague was working himself to exhaustion just for you

Was this what it meant to admire you? Being inferior to you forever?

When the competition happened between Royal Sword Academy and Night Raven College he was also visiting and oh

You were here....

At first he thought it was a trick of the light, seeing you leave the hallway just as he was entering

And then he saw you again helping with the preparations, doing whatever could be done

Don't forget that he was also feeling a bit bitter towards you so at first he thought this was just a facade to appear kind and caring

But it just didn't end, and then finally there came the moment the two of you spoke to each other

Neige wished he could have met you under less ugly circumstances in the aftermath

Not knowing the grounds too well he decided to go on a walk, only the light of his phone guiding him

And as fate wants it he found himself in the forest far away from school having fallen down a pit of which he wasnt able to get out by himself

Neige was already giving up on getting out again having tried to climb up and shout for help with no avail

But then he heard steps upon the dead leaves on the ground

Looking down was your concerned face which morphed into a small smile when you saw him not being seriously injured

Telling him to wait you soon returned with a rope, helping him out of there with it

Apparently you saw someone disappearing into the woods and knowing about the pits which made no NRC student enter that place at night you ran after him

That was when every bit of unsavory feelings for you disappeared

And also he was ashamed

Leaves were in his hair and dirt was all over his clothes

The next day he came up to you with some sweets to thank you and oh dear, you looked even more perfect in the light of the sun

Even after he left you would always stay in contact with him whether you like it or not

How? Well he sends you presents even if you tell him to stop

Well at least they are good firewood for that fireplace in your room

Although Neige looks like he couldn't hurt anybody he is actually quite manipulative and that also without even noticing it

Making sure that no one gets too close to you by paying some students at NRC so that they keep others away to even harming himself

How? Well usually he lets the presents his fans send him be checked before accepting them

But that Apple pie that one time just looked so delicious and...

Yeah you had to make that potion to safe him

But in the end you saved him so he must mean at least a bit to you, right?

This is also where his unknowing part of being manipulative ends and it dawns on him that he might have another side to himself

But don't you worry, they just had some food poisoning from a cookie they got from an unknown sender as a present. Hm? Why are you looking at him like that?

There isn't a thing he wouldn't do for you even if it means becoming the evil*cough* I mean fairest queen

[anti-endo-haven]

These Endos have no respect. The entire community has been proven to be extremely toxic. Not only are they anti-recovery, but they regularly deny people's lived experiences be invalidating their trauma. They like to talk about their 'oppression' at the hands of real systems and yet they don't have the basic human decency to stay out of the places they aren't welcome. They are the ones that come at us. They are the ones that send the hate. Most anti-endos I have ever met have stood on the opinion that real systems exist in the endo community, but they are regularly encouraged not to explore their trauma and so encouraged not to heal from it.

What kind of person does it take to invade spaces designed for healing just to tear down the people in those spaces? How dark must your heart be to retrigger and retraumatize people with severe mental health conditions? We came here looking for solidarity and what we found was repeated invalidation, constant ridicule and unending denial of the things we have been through. If we don't need trauma to be systems, what would be the point of the mind fragmenting? It doesn't make logical sense and yet we hear the denial almost every day.

They say they do these things because we exclude them, but if you don't fit the criteria for a group, why would you be in it? You wouldn't show up to a breast cancer support group of you've never had the disease and of you would, that's not okay!! Those spaces are for survivors exactly like our anti-endo spaces. They are for people who have come through the worst things imaginable, and here the endos are, waltzing in as though they have a right to this healing space. They don't. Endos. You don't have that entitlement. Take this seriously. There are PEOPLE on the other side of that screen.

You would never tell a soldier that you know the horrors of war. You would never invade those spaces, so why is it okay to do it to people with a mental disorder? Please. When people tell you to stay away from a place, DO SO. It's not for you.

^^^^^^^^^

All of this.

[redjadethewriter]

Blank the Series: The Novel vs The Show

After finally sitting down and reading the source material for the series, I must admit that I had expected it to be more provocative. However, to me, it was more like reading a soft-core erotica - nothing too outrageous. I hesitate to even classify it as soft-core, but that’s the best way I can describe it. Of course, anything involving BDSM is bound to stand out.

Despite my initial reservations, I found myself engaged in the love story between Khun Nueng and Anueng. The story, although a bit too PG-13 for my taste, held my attention. In my analysis of the series, I primarily focused on the character interactions, their internal struggles, insecurities, and how these factors influenced their actions and decisions.

Being a crone, I naturally gravitated towards examining Khun Nueng’s character more closely, as I found her to be the most relatable. However, I must acknowledge that Anueng is a well-developed character as well. She serves as a reminder that, regardless of age, individuals can possess cunning and resourcefulness.

While Anueng may appear childish around Khun Nueng in the series, after reading the novel, I gained a deeper understanding of why she expresses herself in such an over-the-top and annoying manner. It’s because she wants to elicit a reaction from Khun Nueng, as it seems to be the only way to make her “look more human” or act like it. In the novel, Khun Nueng rarely shows facial reactions unless she’s prompted to do so, which Anueng does often. Otherwise, Khun Nueng would simply hide behind her stoic mask all the time.

Interestingly, Khun Nueng’s go-to response to anyone expressing a romantic interest in her is, “Are you worthy of me?” as a tactic of scaring them away. This phrase serves as her motto, even though she doesn’t have any specific criteria for determining who would be worthy of her love, mainly because she has never truly loved anyone. So, when Anueng challenges this line by asserting, “I’m not today, but I will become worthy,” it deeply shocks our ice queen, both in the novel and in the series. It’s something she never expected.

As I’ve mentioned before, Khun Nueng finds herself in quite a bit of trouble because she has met her match in Anueng. They are contrasting yet compatible characters, and that’s what I find intriguing. They possess similarities that draw them closer together while also reflecting their deepest flaws. In a striking revelation, I realized their insecurities were actually quite similar, but in reverse. Anueng becomes jealous because of her insecurities about being young and not having much to offer, constantly worrying that Khun Nueng might end up with someone her own age who has a more established life. On the other hand, Khun Nueng frets about being too old and the possibility of the young girl eventually growing bored with her, changing her mind, and leaving.

Khun Nueng exhibits striking similarities to her grandmother, both in the series and in the novel. They share an icy demeanor, a controlling nature, and a toxic fixation on perfectionism. Despite leaving behind her privileged status, these traits have carried over into her more humble life as an artist. I now understand that her choice to rebel against her grandmother was not all simply out of spite, but a deliberate decision to assert her own identity.

While Khun Nueng desires her grandmother to acknowledge her responsibility for Song’s death and their collective suffering, she also longs to discover her true self. Above all else, Khun Nueng yearns to experience a wider range of emotions. She craves the taste of disappointment, having never truly felt loved or experienced the exhilaration of a racing heart. In the show, she exemplifies this by placing her hand over her heart and feeling it race in the presence of Anueng.

Khun Nueng lacks ambition. Although she pursues a career as an artist to sustain herself, she does not envision it as a long-term path. She wishes to continue using her artistic talents, but without the constraints of working for someone else. Her yearning for freedom outweighs any financial concerns, despite her constant struggle to make ends meet. In fact, Khun Nueng embraces the hardships that come with being a “starving artist.” Her upbringing with her grandmother shielded her from feelings of disparity and anguish, making the challenges she faces now exhilarating rather than burdensome.

Khun Nueng remains unimpressed by materialism and possesses a practical approach to life. She values essentials like food over fancy clothes, which captivate Anueng in the novel. Khun Nueng refuses to let those who flaunt their status and wealth sway her, as she cannot be bought.

Overall, Khun Nueng’s character is complex and multi-faceted. Her resemblance to her grandmother, with her stoic demeanor, her secret pursuit for emotional depth, her lack of ambition, and her indifference towards status all contribute to her unique persona.

While watching the series, I noticed that the first episode started the story at a much later scene from the novel. In this scene, the characters were already familiar with each other. Initially, I was confused because I wondered why Khun Nueng walked the girl to the bus-stop and knew which bus Anueng needed to get on. The wordplay exchange between them, especially with Anueng stating she was running away and asking to stay with Khun Nueng, added to my confusion.

As I continued watching, around episode 2 or 3, I noticed the girl had a lot of drawings that Khun Nueng had made for her. Being the analytical person that I am, I figured they must have met multiple times before. My confirmation of this came later when I read the story.

To explain Khun Nueng’s constant worry for the girl’s safety and her habit of always walking her to the bus stop, we found out that since the day they met, Khun Nueng had discreetly made sure Anueng got home safely at late hours. She would even follow Anueng from a distance to her house. From day one, our favorite dead-face character had been the protector, constantly concerned about the girl’s well-being.

I would like to highlight the similarities between Khun Nueng and her younger sister, Sam. However, before discussing their similarities, it is important to address the issues that arise between siblings. The reason Khun Nueng behaves more like their grandmother is because she received the most attention from her. Sam acknowledges this fact, admitting that although both of them were loved by their grandmother, she never had her undivided attention. This observation became clear to me while watching Gap the Series, as Sam was the one who received the least amount of attention. This dynamic only changed when Khun Nueng left and after Song passed away.

Even until the very end of their grandmother’s life, Sam tried to convey this, trying to get Khun Nueng to reconcile with their grandmother. Episode 6 showcased their close relationship, despite their occasional conflicts. I also understand the perspective of sibling favoritism, as Khun Nueng received the most scrutiny and was molded by their grandmother to potentially take her place in the future. This is why I see such striking similarities between Khun Nueng and their grandmother. However, Sam and Khun Nueng are undeniably similar as siblings. Sam has a tendency to express her jealousy openly, while Khun Nueng displays it in a manner that is passive-aggressive. Both of them struggle to admit their jealousy and have a tendency to hurt their partners in the process, as they refuse to acknowledge their own flaws and weaknesses.

Sam undergoes a transformation. We witnessed her growth in Gap the Series, and in Blank the Series, we see Sam attempting to show her love for Mon by baking a pie from scratch. This action surprised Khun Nueng, especially considering she could have easily purchased one from a top-tier bakery. However, Sam wanted to infuse her love into the pie.

We observe a similar act of love in episode 6, but this time it is Khun Nueng cooking home-cooked meals for Anueng instead of going out to eat. This is why I concluded by saying, “Girl... you are lying to yourself.” Cooking for someone is an incredibly personal gesture, and I don’t do it for just anyone. Therefore, I know fully that she constantly deceives herself.

In conclusion, the novel and the series share many similarities. Although there were some necessary omissions and alterations to the timeline and character interactions, I hope these changes will be seamlessly integrated in season 2, maintaining the steady pacing that has been established. Based on the first 6 episodes, I have a sense of what elements they might keep and what they may change. However, I do hope that they don’t stray too far from the meaningful aspects of the original source material, which I won’t go into detail about. I must acknowledge that the novel was clever in incorporating elements that kept me engaged until a satisfying conclusion. Therefore, if I see these same qualities in the series, I will be truly impressed, and the show will prove itself to be deserving of my attention.

I appreciate the good content.

Thank you.

[redlips-greensleeves]

The Psychology of Qi Rong (TW for cannibalism and mental health)

This is a review of Qi Rong's behaviour and symptoms in relation to this authors note. According to MXTX, if put into a modern day context, Qi Rong would be said to have bipolar disorder. In order to verify this statement, this post is dedicated to comparing actual symptoms of bipolar disorder and Qi Rong's behaviour from the novel in order to prove this statement true.

I would like to put out a disclaimer that I am not a licensed psychology practitioner, but a student who hasn't finished his degree yet. I am simply writing this because this authors note wouldn't leave my brain. Please don't expect total accuracy from this post, though I will try my best to ensure that there is no error on my part

I would also like everyone to note that the term bipolar itself, is used to describe a spectrum of disorders, and that simply regulating it to one term would be incorrect, and that treatment can vary depending on the disorder

Bipolar Disorder: History, Symptoms and Probable Causes

Bipolar disorder is characterized by chronically occurring episodes of mania or hypomania alternating with depression and is often misdiagnosed initially. Treatment involves pharmacotherapy and psychosocial interventions, but mood relapse and incomplete response occur, particularly with depression.

(I want everyone to m

The first recorded case of Bipolar Disorder as an illness was by Pierre Farlet in the mid-19th Century (1851-1854), who called it “folie circulaire” (circular madness). It was defined by manic and melancholic episodes separated by symptom-free intervals.

In 1854 Baillarger used the term "folie à double forme" to describe cyclic (manic–melancholic) episodes (Pichot 1995; Ritti 1879).

There also seems to be a mention of bipolar disorder (Unsure of this, take with a bit of salt) in the book Eight Treatesies on the Nurturing of Life by Gao Lian (Different character from the Lian in Xie Lian); dating back to the Ming Dynasty (1591 {first publication()} [requires fact checking])

(Note: Records of treatment of mental disorders in Ancient China go all the way back to the Tang Dynasty. If you check wikipedia, there is the claim that it goes back to 1100 BCE, which I can't confirm [requires fact checking])

Criteria to be met before diagnosing someone with Bipolar I Disorder according to the DSM-5 are at least one manic episode. This may be preceded by and may be followed by hypomanic or major depressive episodes and the occurrence of the manic and major depressive episode(s) is not better explained by schizoaffective disorder, schizophreniform disorder, delusional disorder, or other specified or unspecified schizophrenia spectrum and other psychotic disorder

Manic episodes are characterised increased talkativeness, rapid speech, a decreased need for sleep, racing thoughts, distractibility, increase in goal-directed activity, and psychomotor agitation. Some other hallmarks of mania are an elevated or expansive mood, mood lability, impulsivity, irritability, and grandiosity (Can be remembered using the DIGFAST mnemonic)

Rapid cycling in bipolar disorder is defined as having at least 4 or more mood episodes in a 12-month period. These mood episodes may be manic, hypomanic, or depressive but must meet their full diagnostic and duration criteria. These episodes must be separated by periods of partial or full remission of at least 2 months or be separated by a switch to an episode of opposite polarities, such as mania or hypomania to major depressive episodes (Note: Switching from mania to hypomania or vice-versa would not qualify because they are not opposite polarity). Rapid cycling bipolar disorder patients have been found to be more resistant to pharmacotherapy.

Hypomania and mania can be distinguished by a certain feature- hypomania does not cause major deficits in social and occupational functioning. The duration of a manic episode is at least a week, while a hypomanic episode is about four days

Symptoms of a depressive episode include feeling very down/sad/anxious, slowed down or restless, trouble falling asleep, waking up too early, or sleeping too much, talking very slowly, feeling unable to find anything to say, or forgetting a lot, trouble concentrating or making decisions, unable to do even simple things, lack of interest in almost all activities, and feeling hopeless/worthless, or thinking about death or suicide

(Note: According to the DSM-5, major depressive and hypomanic episodes are common in bipolar I disorder but are not required for the diagnosis)

Bipolar II Disorder is defined by a pattern of depressive episodes and hypomanic episodes. The hypomanic episodes are less severe than the manic episodes in bipolar I disorder

And finally, cyclothymic disorder/cyclothymia is defined by recurring hypomanic and depressive symptoms that are not intense enough or do not last long enough to qualify as hypomanic or depressive episodes

Like in the case of most mental disorders, there is no known cause for disorders on the bipolar spectrum, however the most widelt agreed upon risk factors are brain structure and functioning (some studies show that the brains of people with bipolar disorder differ in certain ways from the brains of people who do not have bipolar disorder or any other mental disorder), and genetics (some research suggests that people with certain genes are more likely to develop bipolar disorder. Research also shows that people who have a parent or sibling with bipolar disorder have an increased chance of having the disorder themselves).

In relation to genetics, many genes are involved, and no one gene causes the disorder (Which, if the authors note is true, we can assume that one of his parents carried the genes for it, most probably his father).

青鬼戚容

Qi Rong needs no introduction or abstract (Because I don't have to submit this to a prof hehehe) to start with. He is iconic, and rightfully so. In order to try and analyse Qi Rong's behaviour, let us take a glance at his introductory (In this case, first physical) appearance.

In his first (physical) appearance Qi Rong talks shit about others, which isn't really notable in regards to this topic. Its like my Mother after the guests leave and she's finished playing social politics. Its nothing interesting, just the typical criteria for the average aunty.

But you know what is interesting? His lair.

He has a throne, a banquet hall style dining set up. The only things he needs is the cauldron to cook (human) meat. I don't remember any of his subordinates needing to eat, and considering all of the salted carrion he has hanging around; not to mention the fresh meat stores he keeps (Three hundred humans...three hundred), he doesn’t eat a good chunk of the humans brought to him immediately. Its all unnecessarily grandiose for a single person, (We know that he doesn’t invite any dinner guests over. If he did, they'd be the main course)

If you notice Qi Rongs behaviour a majority of the time fits the criteria for a manic episode. Its also probably why his schemes seem to fail most of the time. Note that there has to be a remission period of two months in the case of rapid cycling (Which I belive occurs in Qi Rongs case), so MXTX is right, in a way. Qi Rong would be diagnosed with a disorder on the bipolar spectrum, more specifically Bipolar I Disorder

(One may also assume that he had cyclothymia during his days as a prince, but I believe that its just a showcase of certain symptoms of Bipolar I Disorder from a young age. He always had it, but it didnt manifest much more visibly until later on in his life)

Now Lets Talk About Kuru

Kuru is an infectious, acquired, non-immunogenic, fatal neurodegenerative prion disease. It progresses rapidly with cerebellar and extrapyramidal signs and symptoms, with death occurring within one to two years of onset of symptoms. What causes Kuru? Cannibalism, or more specifically the consumption of the brain tissue.

The diesease originated and was confined to the Fore Tribe in the Eastern Highlands of Paupa New Guinea, where ritualistic cannibalism was practiced. Kuru is now extinct due to the outlawing of ritualistic cannibalism in the region.

(Note: There is a theory that cannibalism occurred due to famine, and that it was ratonalised by the Europeans who arrived their as a ritualistic practice. Colonisers have also used the excuse of cannibalism to colonise and kill indigenous populations)

What causes cannibalism? Usually, the two most predominantly ascribed motivations are hunger and hatred, and the occasional belief that eating human flesh is medicinal.

(This is a bit of a personal note from me, but from what I've heard, human flesh is not good for any living creatures health. In my hometown there are plenty of stories about animals going mad or dying after eating human flesh)

A point I want to make is that we do not know how Qi Rong died. Did he die from being eaten alive? Or did he pass from a neurodegenerative disease caused by consuming human flesh in order to survive? If its the latter, it could explain his behaviour.

Kuru is also known as the laughing disease, as patients exhibited sporadic uncontrollable laughter, due to being emotionally labile. Perhaps Qi Rong passed before the disease could reach the sedentary phase? Maybe he was killed before that. Symptoms of Kuru can take time to manifest completely, so I feel that this theory should not be discounted.

Reference(s)

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK559103/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3188776/

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/bipolar-disorder

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK493168/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519712/table/ch3.t8/

https://web.archive.org/web/20070928103521/http://www.nmh.gov.tw/nmh_web/english_version/exhibition/exhibition_s0703.cfm

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2813703/

A note of gratitude for @toowolfdelusion for posting that authors note, otherwise this brainfart of mine would not exist

[buckybarnesevents]

Mods:  HR (buckyismybicycle) &  Maya (cable-knit-sweater) Email: buckybarnesevents@gmail.com Discord: https://discord.gg/buckybarnesevents

What is Build-a-Bucky Bingo?

Very much like Build a Bear, you get to customize what your Bingo card will look like! You will get a list of prompts to choose from for each month. Each list will include a few of the following: AUs, NSFW/kinks, SFW prompts, quotes, places and general prompts open for interpretation.

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[sgiandubh]

Más se perdió en Cuba 

Whenever a stupid, annoying and predictable thing happens (the three criteria must simultaneously be met), somebody fundamental to me does an eloquent, unique eyeroll and lashes out with gusto: más se perdió en Cuba. The precise English translation of it being "worse things happen at sea".

Mordor's horrified reaction at the sight of S sporting recently a nice cigarillo, while holding the Belgian flag, is hilarious. Until it isn't. This is at best gullible, at worst parochial - you pick your side - and it goes to show how easily people spit on something completely foreign to their world, without checking for context or meaning.

Presenting yourself as a cigar aficionado is a deliberate marketing choice. It enhances the image of a grown-up, sophisticated man-about-town, flaunting Old World charm and an access to gentlemen's clubs worldwide. Most of which feature humidor rooms, where profitable networking and business conversations happen. In 2023, this hobby is akin to what fox hunting was to the Victorians: an occasion to meet and greet, stay relevant and keep up your social standing. It is also what remains of that Bond dream, shaken and stirred and long lost: but let's not scratch a wound that didn't properly heal, yet.

Lo and behold, the Naysayer Brigade quickly gathered speed, on Twitter and Tumblr: oh dear God, Mary, the Apostles and all their spoons, this is pure insanity, he is doing it again, how could that be, the Viking God is smoking like a mere mortal, good grief did you think of the ozone layer, what a stupid peasant, how dares he encourage such a VICIOUS THING?

In an effort to calm the menagerie, Miss Marple herself gave us her usual smug two cents, writing confidently something like "my favorite would be he does not inhale". This is where I parked my drone and laughed and laughed and laughed like a drain.

YOU NEVER INHALE A CIGAR, MEVROUW. EVER.

But you can do plenty of other fun things with it (don't be dirty, don't think Lewinsky). You can plunge the uncut tip in brandy, let it dry, savor the new complex aroma, cut and go for it.

I know I do. Not everyday, but from time to time. And it's glorious.