#listen Benn makes like two appearances okay

[n3on-graveston3s-calling]

Hand.

Word Count: 800

Characters: Shanks, Benn

Warnings: Brief talking of phantom limb syndrome.

Author's Notes: @/huyandere posted This Amazing Art earlier and it gave me brain worms about Shanks and his arm. Thanks. <3

Shanks lost his dominant hand. 

That’s the first thing that he has to come to terms with, really. That he did, indeed, lose his dominant hand. Arm, really- not just the hand. The Neptunian did a number on him, but then again, he’s lucky, isn’t he? To have just lost the arm, not the side of his torso, nor the child who he had foolishly protected because for one reason or another, he liked Luffy. This scrappy, chaotic child who had survived so much already, who he saw so much promise in even if it scared him half to death to imagine him on the seas one day. 

He lost his dominant arm. 

The healing process was difficult. Hell, having a limb suddenly amputated wasn’t something you did every day, after all. The poor village doctor nearly had a damn heart attack looking at his arm. Benn had cried- shed actual tears over his arm in private, holding him close to his chest, whispering about how he’d failed him as a first mate.

(He hadn’t failed. Shanks just acted without thinking. That was his fault; he had always been a touch too impulsive, even as a kid).

So he’d lost his arm. 

It took months of healing before even thinking about leaving. An open wound like that on the sea was simply asking for gangrene to set in, or for the flesh to grow infected with Gods know what, for him to take ill suddenly and oh, Gods, he couldn’t imagine how bad that could be! He loved his former captain, but he didn’t want to follow in his footsteps of getting sick. 

He had to learn how to use his right arm. 

His sword had been a custom, made for him to wield it left-handed. Gryphon was the blade’s name. A strong saber, custom made to have a longer than average blade length to it. Green hilt; beige guard. The weight was off for his right arm, he was sloppy with the way he waved it about. For a while, he thought that he was simply doomed to never wield a sword again.

(He couldn’t fight Mihawk like this, couldn’t even think about looking him in the eyes after this accident. How could he take him, now? Not one handed, not like this.)

Practice. Stamina training. Relearning how to draw his blade without cutting into his own hip. (And oh, the scars that lay on his right hip now from countless injuries done by practicing with Gryphon rather than a wooden blade at first, like an idiot.) It took well into a year before he was able to keep his balance again. Able to walk across the ship while waves rocked against the hull and not tip himself over with his inability to hold himself up. 

The worst part was the phantom pains. Not the training- no, Benn and Yasopp kept him on his toes with their training. Soon enough, they were working together once more without issue. The phantom pains are what kept him awake in the night, biting down on his hand or his pillow to muffle the sobs of pain that tore from his throat. It burned, it ached. He could still feel his arm. He could still feel it reaching out. Could swear it was touching his blankets- but no, it wasn’t there. It isn’t there. It will never be there again. 

He had to relearn how to write. 

He’d had remarkable penmanship prior to this, something that Rayleigh had forced both himself and Buggy to learn. Something about a good pirate had good penmanship? He wasn’t sure; Roger was never bothered with it, his own writing had been chicken scratch. But he had good handwriting. 

Not anymore.

Looking at the parchment, he felt a wave of anger crash over him. He almost- almost- swept the contents of his desk to the floor before he caught himself. No use in that, really. Ink was expensive. Parchment- good parchment at that- even more so. So, he sat down, and started once again. A, B, C, D- the entire alphabet. His hand shook as he held the quill; it ached in his fingers, this odd form of writing. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t do it- he would do it, Benn reminded him, leaning his hip against his desk. He would do it, because he needed to. He would do it, because he wanted to. He would do it. 

He did. 

The first letter was wobbly written, looking more apt for a ten year old rather than a man who had just turned thirty-two. The lines weren’t straight, the script tilting down towards the right side of the paper despite his best efforts. 

“Dear Buggy,

ㅤ⠀I am writing to you

ㅤ⠀ㅤ⠀once again.

ㅤ⠀ㅤ⠀ㅤ⠀Hope this letter

ㅤ⠀ㅤ⠀ㅤ⠀ㅤ⠀Finds you well…” 

[short-honey-badger]

Peppermint Tea 27 - Lavender 8

Okay. So I've had this chapter in the back burner for a while. Just fluffing the bare bones of it every now and then. We are introduced to a couple of new characters of my own creation. Forgive my lack of creativity on names and appearances.

Note!! I've posted this part once and then took it down like 10 minutes later when I realized I wasn't happy with it. I apologize to the ones who have already read this part. There have been some changes!

I really hope you enjoy! This plot has definitely thickened, and more drama Llama has come. I'm pulling out all the stops.

Warnings! Drinking and Shanks fucks up big time! A bit of a time skip happens. Also, a SURPRISE!

Masterlist

Shanks is drunk. Far more inebriated than he had planned to be, but the sake and rum were tasty, and he and his crew were celebrating a raid gone perfectly. The hoard that Yasopp had found at the end of the fight, if you could even call it one, had been the cherry on top. The group of organized bandits had been at work for a long time, stealing and taxing the villages of this island until everyone was as poor as dirt.

A child of all people had begged Shanks and his crew to take care of the bandits. The redhead had seen another kid in this one’s place, a big sneaky grin and mischievous eyes, and had easily caved. Lucky Roux had found the trail to the hideout quickly, and it was over after that. The bandits and their leader didn't stand a chance against someone like Shanks.

So now, they sat in the bar that had the most booze, going through the bandit hoard for anything they may want for themselves. The villagers had been adamant that the entire crew took something as payment, and Shanks wasn't about to say no to anything for free. He was a pirate, after all.

The Emperor had caught sight of a beautiful hair clip, one simple but ornate with tiny blue jewels embedded in the silver material. Shanks had thought of his treasure, specifically his Snowflake when he'd seen the hair clip and had swiftly pocketed it before losing himself in the copious amounts of booze that flowed around him.

Now that Shanks was thinking about you, he realized just how much he missed his treasure. It's been just over two weeks since he last saw you and tasted your lips on his. Far too long since he'd been able to bury his head between your legs and bring you to the edge over and over before you were begging him to let you come. Or having you ride his cock until you were nothing but a sobbing mess who couldn't remember anything other than the names of the two men who you belonged to.

It’s been three months since the first time Shanks had gotten the privilege of making love with his little treasure. In his drunken state, these two weeks felt like that long ago, and Shanks sighed dramatically and slumped over the bar, his mug of ale sloshing dangerously over the lip, “Benn when can we go back to _’s island?”

Shanks is far from quiet, and the bar is still filled with other pirates. People are listening in, most uncaring for the drunk pirate lamenting about his want for some woman. But to one, the old man hears your name, and recognition lights his brain.

Benn slaps him on the back of his head, a scowl on his face as he narrows his eyes at his Captain. The idiot was drunk as a skunk, “You need to be more careful, Shanks.”

The redhead pouts at Benn, dark eyes glassy, and then he drunks straight from the bottle of sake he holds. He wipes his mouth, “I know what I'm doing, Benn. No one here could ever beat me in a fight. I can protect _ just fine.”

“That's not the point, Shanks,” Benn hisses at him and tugs his Captain close by his black cloak. He shakes him, trying to knock some sense into the other man. Beckman knows that Shanks could be irresponsible, but this was ridiculous.

“Think for a damn second. If someone overhears and spreads a rumor that an Emperor of the Sea is head over heels with her. It's over. You know her past, you know who would be after her. Not to mention that Mihawk would kill you.”

The redhead sees everything that has gone so well the past six months with you and Mihawk all go up in flames. His treasures would despise him, and he would have no choice but to accept that, because it would be all his fault. Already ruining something good.

He spirals further when he thinks about the news you had shared with him and Mihawk the last time the three of you had been able to get together.

--------

You stand before the two men. Shanks can tell that you are nervous, snow has gathered around your feet, and he fights the urge to pull you close and demand what's wrong. Mihawk sits beside him, concern swimming in his ringed gaze. Hank lays on the floor between the three of you, big dark eyes trained on his human.

You begin to pace, picking up the now massive orange fluff ball and holding him close. You hold Sukuna close to your chest, threading your fingers through his thick fur. They watch you take a deep breath and then turn to them, eyes wide and full of trepidation.

“My period hasn't started yet. I keep careful track of it, and it's been fifty-two days since my last one. I-I’ve been really sick in the morning and feeling weak, and all my books say that I'm probably… pregnant?”

Mihawk nor Shanks like the fear in your voice, but your announcement has both of them star-struck. There was a baby inside of you? Made by one of them? Shanks pictures a little girl with bright red hair and golden eyes, chubby cheeks, and a brilliant smile. It's picturesque and perfect in his mind's eye, a beautiful mix of all three of them.

Hawkeye is the first to stand from the couch and go to your side. He takes your face in hand, calloused fingers holding you so carefully, and then dips down to press his lips to yours. Dracule is a mess of emotions, but elation wins over all of it. Never in his life did he think that he would have this chance, and he vowed that he would not squander it. As he kissed you, Mihawk came to the harsh conclusion that he no longer had a choice in keeping his involvement in her past a secret. The warlord would have to tell you.

Shanks eyes his lovers, a smile playing on his lips as he stands to gather his treasures close. He drops a kiss to the back of your head and sneaks his hand around your stomach, a look of wonder coming over his face as he strokes your belly.

“A kid, huh?” Shanks murmurs, and his haki creeps forth, wrapping around you and Mihawk, “I think we can swing that.”

---------

Shanks seems to sober up a bit at the harsh reminder. He sits straight, frown replacing his easy-going pout. his first mate is right, and his chest feels tight with guilt at his incompetence. Had he really been that loud? Fuck. Shanks doesn't remember. He licks his lips and pushes the bottle of sake to the side, suddenly not in the mood for any more drinking.

How could he be this dumb? Shouting your name to the heavens in a drunken stupor, needing his first mate to come in and literally shake some sense into him.

“Thank you, Benn,” Shanks croaks and runs his hand through his hair, grimacing at the state it was in. Gods, what was wrong with him tonight, “Let's head back to the ship, yeah?”

Benn stands, tossing some berri to the counter, “Best idea you've had tonight, Captain.”

The old man stands to go to the bar and order a drink, watching the two men stumble out of the bar. Though he looks unassuming dressed in regular clothes like a local, it is far from the truth.

Wiseman is an old member of the Big Mom pirates and remembers the destruction of the Nammu Isles and the two members of the royal family who escaped. They knew of the location of one, but to hear the name of the princess who was thought to be dead was interesting news that his Captain would be delighted to hear about.

------------

Thousands of miles away, a man sits at a dingy bar. He wears a navy uniform, and a Vice Admiral coat clings to his shoulders. His white hair is shaggy and unkempt, and a pair of brilliant green eyes stare into the sake he holds in his hand. He is clean-shaven with a sharp jaw, though his face is marred by a single scar that crosses vertically on the right side of his mouth. No one bothers the man, for which he is very grateful.

Today was his baby sister's birthday, and he always made sure to take off from any kind of work to mourn her. She wasn't dead. At least he didn't think so, but it's been twenty-two years since the last time he'd laid eyes on his sister. He couldn't visit her, it was far too dangerous for that, so the best he could do was make this day for her. Just like he used to before their home had been taken.

The officer knows back his sake, and the bartender helpfully refills his cup. He sits there for another hour before his peace is broken by one of his subordinates.

“Vice-Admiral Delemur?”

He sighs heavily, and a scowl crosses his face when he gives the younger man his attention. His crew knew better than to bother him on this date, so this had better have been important, “Yes, Nitchell?”

The young man gulped in the face of his superior, and Delemur cursed whoever had allowed this wet behind-the-wear recruit into his platoon. Wait. Fuck. That had been him. Was he an idiot? He focuses back on the kid when he speaks up.

“Vice-Admiral Smoker is here to see you. Said he would wait for you on the docks, Sir.”

Smokey was here? Well, that changed things now, didn't it? Smoker, and when did he get Vice-Admiral? He'd been a Captain last time they spoke- was one of the two people in the Navy who knew about Delemur's sister. The other was Sengoku, even if the white-haired man wasn't a fan of the Fleet Admiral.

Delemur stands and pushes his cup into the recruit's hands, “Here. Finish that for me. Be a good kid, and pick up my tab, too.”

He leaves the kid blubbering at the bartender and disappears, body dropping to the ground and turning into dust. He flies past citizens and pirates alike until he arrives at the docks. The officer finds Smoker at the end of the docks, and he reforms beside the other man, the scared side of his lips twisting up in a welcoming smirk.

“Hey, Smokey. Long time no see,” He murmurs and the other man gives him a matching smirk, “Nice coat.”

“Tomura, still a smarmy ass, huh?” Smoker drawls, and shifts the two cigars in his mouth to the opposite side. He looks at his old friend up and down, seeing the drunken haze in those green eyes. The Vice-Admiral knows what day it was, it's why he came to seek Tomura out when he found out that the other man was only an island away. Not to mention that he had news that the other man might want.

“You know it,” Tomura quips back dryly. He shifts to look out at the raging ocean, and two pairs of knuckle dusters clink on his belt. He licks his lips and eyes his friend out of the corner of his eyes. While it's good to see Smoker, it's odd that the other man would go out of his way to see him, even on this particular day, “Whatcha doin’ here, Smoker?”

Tomura doesn't know if he is thankful or not that the other man has never beaten around the bush. But he does know that he hates the look of pity that Smoker gives him.

“Someone's been talking about your sister, Tomura. Rumor says that it came from Red Haired Shanks singing her name, which started circulating about a week ago. News travels fast in the Grand Line, but there's not been a peep from him about her since.”

Tomura sober instantly and orders his crew to start packing up the second Smoker finishes telling him about the rumors surrounding his little sister. He can hardly see through the film of red that threatens to block out his senses. His hold on his devil fruit fluctuates, his body a weird mix of dust and flesh.

The G-5 Vice-Admiral wishes his old friend good luck and departs as quickly as he'd shown up. While he'd like to go with Tomura, he unfortunately had orders to return to Impel Down for prisoner transport. Smoker grips his friend by the forearm, hand tight enough to leave fingerprints behind, “You watch out for those damn, pirates. Good luck, Tomura.”

The white haired man books it to his ship, shouting orders to his crew that lingers around the docks. They break into action right away, most of them running to the ship to begin readying it to sail. Tomura goes straight to his cabin, dropping to his knees and pulling out an old trunk that is full of old documents and things from his past. He bypasses everything until he finds the old log pose that would lead him to where he needed to go. Back to the safe house. Back to his sister.

@writingmysanity @djbumblebee @goth-mami-writer @myradiaz @fluffybunnyu @bookandstar @foggyturtleknightangel @browneyedhufflepuff @anastasiyax @jaguarthecat

[gatitties]

can i ask for something based on my daily suffering? It's interesting (or not) something fluff, welcoming, consoling, kind and gentle, I need happy things

Headcanons or Scenario for Red Hired and Whitebeard ( Whitebeard's daughter)

-My friends won't talk to me after a little annoying fight after I said how I felt about myself and apologized for something I shouldn't have, now my friends won't talk to me (whatever I was already alone)

-I'm desperate about grades in high school and no one wants to understand my situation of extreme anxiety, panic and depression

-I am not getting psychiatric and psychological help

-my cat died, now I'm suffering

-I tried against my life

-I don't have anyone to talk to about it, I'm practically alone

- I hate myself

Sorry for that, do it if you want, thank you 🫶

─Red Hair Pirates & Whitebeard Pirates x fem!reader

─Summary: You are not having the best days but your family and friends make you see that you should not drown in a glass of water

─Warnings: none

I feel your loss :( and hey, everyone argues from time to time, things can be solved by talking if both parties want to work it out, I hope you are feeling better now love, feel free to message me if you need anything! 🫶🏻

Your mood was really shitty lately, you argued with some important people over something silly, nothing seemed to go your way and you thought you were being a complete nuisance to all of your father's crew right now, so you decided to run away for a few weeks hoping a break would lift your spirits.

It seems you couldn't enjoy your alone time either because it just made you overthink the situation you were in which caused anxiety to kick in, everything was going so bad lately that you couldn't take it anymore, you needed to unload everything you had but you did not find any psychologist or doctor who convinced you to be able to try to calm your mind.

You were in the middle of a mental breakdown, in the middle of nowhere, on your way to another island when you saw it in the distance, you hadn't seen them many times, but you knew the Red-Haired Pirates, you thought it was better not to bother them considering your state in deplorable spirits, but once Shanks saw the ship with Whitebeard's mark on it it was inevitable that you would not end up aboard his ship.

The screams, belches and music made you shudder at first, too used to your deafening stupid thoughts, you looked like a little animal about to be run over while you watched all those men dance and drink without worries.

"What's the long face? This is a party, you should celebrate!"

Yassop patted you on the back offering you a drink which you refused, Benn denied seeing the interaction, coming closer to see how little receptive you were, he knew that something was occupying your mind now and it wasn't a party exactly what you had in mind.

"Don't listen to this idiot, you can do whatever you want, you can even hit Shanks if you want."

A grimace similar to a smile appeared on your face, a bit amused by Benn's words, apparently he summoned the redhead just by saying his name.

"What's up with me?"

"Oh nothing, we were just planning the way to kick you."

"Again? You should stop inciting our guests to hit me!" he looked at you, changing his silly smile to a fake look of a kicked puppy "Don't listen, okay? I know you're better than that! Someone like you wouldn't kick me, would you?"

You were amused by his nonsense, sharing a quick glance with the other two men, the grimace on your face turning into a wider smile.

"I don't know, the offer sounds good, what do I get if I kick it?"

"It!?"

Ignoring Shanks's betrayed expression, Benn and Yassop looked at you laughing, both patting their captain on the back making him take a step closer to you.

"Whatever you want! As long as you hit him with your greatest force."

"Hey! I'm the captain what the hell is wrong with you?"

They started a silly argument which the others joined in, making you chuckle slightly at the absurd situation, this little visit didn't exactly fix your problems, but spending time with this crew made you clear your mind and feel a little better, you decided you could deal with your problems a little later, for now you needed to release some tension.

Coping with the loss of a pet, arguing with some friends, feeling like everything you do is not paying off, it all came crashing down on you like a storm hitting hard, you felt so bad you didn't even want to bother your father with your problems or the others.

You felt miserable, the days began to go by like a blur, unable to leave your room or socialize a bit, you felt alone and locked up, you were terrified of facing your father to talk about your problems thinking that you would only be a burden to the whole the crew, you felt bad asking for help even if you needed it.

And, honestly, you would have kept drowning in your own misery if it hadn't been for Ace noticing your absence, he could tell you weren't fine pretty quickly, although he didn't want to push you, he felt that you were simply making things worse for yourself by locking yourself away.

He asked Marco for help because he knew that he could not approach the subject delicately, the least he wanted to do was cause you to have an anxiety attack because of him, he did not want to be abrupt or direct when talking about the subject, so it was Marco who asked you how were you.

You didn't know if it was due to despair or mental exhaustion but you ended up telling between sobs that you weren't feeling well, that lately you felt that everything was against you and that your life became a constant uphill.

"Okay, calm down, everyone has bad streaks, does your father know anything about this?"

"N-no…"

"You don't need to say it right away if you're not comfortable, but talking to him will calm you down, it's stupid for me to say it but Whitebeard is a kind man, your father will understand you perfectly."

You nodded, burying your face in his shoulder, tightening the hug a little more before letting him go, it took a couple more days before you faced your father, it was hard for you to open up about the situation but Marco was right, once you let go everything, your father hugged you saying that everything would be fine.

"Oh my daughter, you should not worry, life turns its back on you sometimes so you have to stay strong, please, if there is something that can cheer you up right now I will do it for you immediately."

Your father's devotion to making you dear raised your spirits a lot, you smiled widely, denying his proposal for the moment, there was nothing he could do right now, you just wanted to hang out with the others since you had wasted a lot of time locked up.

"Oh look, isn't she my favorite girl? It's good to see you around here again, come on, just tell me what you want and you'll have it as fast as possible."

You laughed slightly at Thatch's enthusiasm to see you appear in the kitchen, ordered your favorite dish and got to work, while Izo walked in just to pick up something he'd forgotten, although he did stop to talk to you about some gossip you'd lost, put you up to date with everything.

"Is that food I smell? Can I have one piece?"

"No way, back down demon!"

And the peaceful gossip talk went overboard when Ace came into the kitchen drooling from the smell of your food, you and Izo laughed as Thatch tried to hit Ace with a spatula to scare him away, a small fight started in the one where the cook was juggling your plate while trying to keep the other boy from touching your food.

You lost it when Ace tripped over a cloth on the floor, grabbing onto Thatch's apron which knocked the plate into the air, they both fell to the floor and mysteriously the plate remained intact right on top of the cook's toupee. Izo smiled seeing how you laughed at the dumbest fall you'd seen so far, everyone knew that you hadn't been feeling very well lately and seeing that you were beginning to have a better mood made them happy.

[imaginingsoftly]

Wedding Date Pt. 5 - Tyler Seguin

Type: strangers-enemies-lovers, series

Requested: no

Warnings: swearing, mentions of emotional manipulation and shitty exes

A/N: Sorry about forgetting to post last week! Here’s part 5, and there should be two more parts after this one.

Tyler was already at the Benn house when Melissa arrived the next afternoon. Jordie had promised he would be, and it appeared the middle Benn kept his promises. Tyler was actually the one who met Melissa at the door, and his jaw clenching gave away that he was still mad. For just a second, she wondered if he would shut the front door in his face. The baby on his hip seemed like the only reason that he didn’t. Billie reached out for Melissa as soon as Tyler opened the door, and just like that she was in. Melissa made a note to get Billie a book or something as a thank you, even if the kid wouldn’t understand what it was for. 

He stepped back as soon as Melissa crossed the threshold and began walking away. Melissa followed him down the hallway towards the kitchen much like she’d followed Jordie the day before. “So am I never going to be able to visit Jordie without you being here now?” Melissa glared at Tyler as he walked in front of her, though it was mostly as she tried not to look at his ass. It was hard, especially considering how tight his board shorts were. 

Jordie frowned at Tyler as the two of them and Billie appeared in the kitchen. He’d more than likely heard what Tyler said to her. “Hey, Lissa,” Jordie said, “how’s it going?” His face changed when he looked at her, and the brotherly smile he flashed at her was incredibly reassuring. 

The baby sitting on Melissa’s hip started babbling and clutching at her hair before she could respond. Clearly, she hadn’t been paying Billie enough attention. “Yeah, babe, I see you. You wanna tell me all about your day?” Billie continued to babble at her animatedly, and Melissa tried to ignore Tyler’s quiet huff as he stalked out of the kitchen and into the backyard. She stared after him as he began to help Jessie set up some lights around the deck. He hip-checked her out of the way, and Melissa’s heart tugged at the laughter that filtered in through the open door. 

“You’re really good with her.” Melissa turned her attention to Jordie. He leaned back against the counter and jerked his chin at Billie. “You look like you’ve done this before.”

Melissa smiled and squeezed Billie gently. “My younger sister has two. She married her high school sweetheart right out of college, and they had their first kid right after she turned 23.” She bounced Billie until she started to belly laugh. “I’m the cool aunt.” Jordie laughed, and Melissa chuckled along with him. Sarah’s boys were the toughest part of moving out of the DC area. She had been the go-to babysitter from the time the oldest was born, and now she’d be lucky to see them a few times a year. 

She looked out at the deck again, and Jordie gestured for her to make her way outside. Jessie gave Melissa a hug when she saw her, and Billie started reaching for her mom. Tyler looked like he was doing his best impression of a statue until Jordie punched him on the shoulder and ordered him into the yard to haul chairs in front of the firepit. 

It seemed like Jordie and Jessie were doing their best to keep Melissa and Tyler separate during the entirety of setup, though they were making Melissa do things that involved her being in front of Tyler. If she had to wager a guess, Melissa would say they were trying to get him used to having her in his presence before they talked. 

The party was well underway by the time Melissa finally caught Tyler alone. He was inside making himself a mixed drink when she went for another beer. Much like he had done all night when she tried to get him alone, Tyler immediately made a beeline for the back door. 

“Tyler.” He kept walking, and Melissa hurried after him. “Tyler please just listen for a second.” He stopped, mercifully, and she hurried to catch up to him. “I’m sorry for almost all of the things you mentioned yesterday.” His body was stiff, shoulders tight and angry as she stepped around to look in his face. “I’m not sorry that I hooked up with you though. It’s the stuff afterwards that was the issue. I didn’t plan on sleeping with you, just sex, and when I woke up and felt comfortable I panicked.” It had taken Melissa until she saw Tyler again to realize it, too. She could easily imagine waking up next to him all the time, and it felt wrong to be that comfortable with someone she’d just met. Especially someone she imagined didn’t do relationships. 

It felt like progress when she grabbed his hand and he didn’t pull it away. “I really really like you, Tyler, and it scared the shit out of me. I’ve never been the type of person to make friends easily, and I’ve sure as hell never been the type of person to fall for someone I’d just met, and both of those things happened with you.” Melissa squeezed Tyler’s fingers in an attempt to really make him understand. Brown eyes met hers, and they weren’t as angry anymore. He still looked hurt, but he wasn’t really angry. 

Someone shouted for Tyler, and he jerked his hands back. “I’ll talk to you later.” His shoulders lowered slightly as he walked away, though his steps were still short. Melissa bit her lip. She had no right to expect him to forgive her easily. Ghosting him had been pretty shitty, and appearing in his friend’s backyard had been even shittier. 

In an effort to save her heart from another rejection from Tyler, Melissa found Jessie and did her best to pretend he didn’t exist. Jessie seemed more than happy to be a distraction, shoving cookie dough and a scoop into her hands and instructing her to fill the cookie sheets. Jessie stood on the other side of the kitchen island scooping out of her own giant batch of cookie dough, and Billie stared at them from her seat in her high chair. Melissa made faces at the baby every few minutes, and at one point threw some cookie dough in Jessie’s direction. Billie screeched in excitement, and the pair of women laughed as they continued to do everything they could to make Billie laugh. 

Later, Melissa was sitting by herself near the fire when a large body dropped into the chair beside her. “Why did you ghost me?” Tyler stared out into the fire when he spoke, and he wouldn’t meet Melissa’s eyes when she turned her head in his direction. “I thought we at least had enough of a connection to be friends.” 

Rather than anger, Tyler looked hurt. She hadn’t even considered that he would be upset about losing a potential friend. Honestly, she’d assumed it was embarrassment over being rejected that was bugging him more than anything else. “I panicked.” Tyler scoffed, and she placed a hand on his thigh so he didn’t try to get up. “Kirsten convinced me that a hookup would be good for me, and I agreed. I thought we could hookup, maybe more than once, and be friends.” Melissa squeezed Tyler’s leg to get his attention, waiting until he looked into her eyes before he continued. “I woke up the morning after the wedding and realized that I liked you way too much for this to be a casual hookup. My last relationship ended really badly, kinda messed me up, and I told you about that, which is crazy. Nobody except Kirsten knew that whole story.”

Tyler was melting, she could see it in his eyes. Somehow, Melissa was lucky enough that he understood. He leaned into Melissa’s space as he spoke again. “We didn’t have to be a hookup. Maybe I would have been interested in a relationship, especially if I knew you were here in Dallas.” 

He met Melissa’s eyes with a fiery intensity. She found herself getting lost in them again, just like she had the morning after the wedding. “I don’t know if I can handle another relationship right now. Liam messed with my head pretty badly, stuff I didn’t realize he was doing until we were over.” She looked down at her lap because meeting Tyler’s eyes was out of the question. It was hard for her to admit, but it was the truth. Liam was a master emotional manipulator, good enough that she didn’t realize he was doing it. Looking at language in emotional manipulation was one of her damn areas of research, for fucks sake, and she still hadn’t figured it out until after.

The fire crackled a few feet away. A large hand snaked into Melissa’s lap to cover her hands, and another hand pushed her hair out of her face and gently tilted her head up. Tyler’s eyes, so incredibly expressive, had changed yet again. There was none of the sympathy she’d expected. Just sheer determination that took her breath away. “Let me try.” Melissa opened her mouth to speak, but Tyler shook his head. “Let me chase you. I’ll gain your trust. Be my date to events. Let me show you how incredible you are, and when you feel comfortable moving us forward you tell me. Okay?” Tyler gently rubbed his thumb along her cheekbone, and Melissa sank into the touch. This was what she missed about being in a relationship. She craved physical intimacy.

“Okay.” Melissa whispered the words, and could hardly believe they were coming out of her mouth.

“Okay?” She nodded at Tyler’s repetition, and he grinned cheekily at her. “We’ll start Saturday. There’s a donor event before the draft, and I need a date. We had a bit of fun the last time we went to an event together, yeah?” Tyler winked, and Melissa couldn’t help but laugh. 

Tyler’s face turned serious again as he searched her face. “Are you sure about this? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, baby, and I damn sure don’t want you to run away again.” Melissa’s heart tugged. She would never stop feeling bad for that, no matter the reason why she’d done it. 

She nodded. Tyler kissed her forehead gently, and she leaned into his touch. “I’m gonna make this worth your while, I promise.” Despite herself and lingering reservations, Melissa believed him.

[onepdumpsterfire]

Disclaimer: These stories are based ‘loosely’ on the game Obey me shall we date. The major stuff will be the same, but here and there the story will be changed or embellished. It is just an AU and I do not own the game the characters, from both One Piece or Obey Me, nor do I own One Piece in general. It would be cool though…

Warning: The characters will mostly be ooc and for the most part will not have the same background as in the anime/manga. The reader’s age will be above consent; the exact number is up to you.

Nola

Devildom!AU

(pt6/?)

Various Characters X Reader

Shanks heard about the fight the brothers had. He’d heard about how you got hurt. At first, he was angry at Sabo for doing what he did. If anything happened to the exchange student this whole thing would be a waste. He punished Sabo for what he did. Beating him bloody. Shanks decided he couldn’t take his eyes off him until he was sure he wouldn’t rage out again. So he proposed a three-day retreat. He could keep an eye on Sabo, and make all three realms get along. He needed to see results in his plan, if this was the only way to do it then it’ll have to do.

As courteous as he was, he made it known that this request was no entreaty. You all would show and be in your best behavior. No protests. No complaints. No objections. And so, that is how you found yourself taking a tour of his palace. Benn, One of Shank’s loyal servants, was explaining the more historic artifacts that decorated the halls. It was interesting to hear the different stories each piece held. One, in particular, held more than the rest. It was a painting of a woman she dressed in clothing from what seemed like the mid-1800s. She wore a high waisted baby-blue gown with a white lacy bonnet and shawl. This seemed to be from the human world. Her out of time style clothing wasn’t the only thing that drew attention to her. She seemed to be moving…

“Sanji!” came her scream. The painting can speak? Sanji looked puzzled. Had he done something to the painting to make them mad? “Oh, I know you! Violet, from when I visited Spain in the human world.” So he had. “You hornswoggler, pigeon-livered, ratbag!” 

“Now, now, sweetheart. No need to get nasty.” Sanji barely seemed to consider her as anything. What wrong had he done to make her say such strange…insults? “What brings you down here? Was the power you gained from me not enough?”

“Power?! From you?! Yeah right! You left me for dead!” Her shrieks shook the frame she was imprisoned in. “the coven betrayed me and trapped me in here! I’ve been passed around and showcased like one of those wagtail wenches! This is all your fault! If only you had st-”

“If only I had what? Stayed and helped? If I recall correctly all you asked for was ‘unimaginable power’ to bring those meaters of the coven to their knees” Sanji approached the painting, “If you didn’t know how to properly use them and was outwitted by those Vazey, Mumbling coves, it was on you.” His tone was dark and airy. Like he was trying to threaten her without letting the others know, but by how the room seemed to resonate around him, it wasn’t that convincing. “You Flapdoodle! I’ll make you pay!” You what…. Flapdoodle, really? You didn’t get much of a chance to wonder what that word implied. She let out bright light, oils swirling inside the painting. They turned into a vortex sucking everything near inside. First, it was Sanji then Nami and Ace. the last ones it took were you and Kid who grabbed on to law for support, but they were both dragged in anyway. 

The lights where you appeared were dim. Beside you was Kid and Law, separated from the rest. “We need to find the others,” was the first thing said in the eerie quietness of the corridor you were in. “What we need to do is find out where we are.” An interjection from the other male. “Not the time to fight, both of you.”

“We’ll look around, figure out where we are and find the others at the same time.” Both men looked at each other, surprised by your sudden leadership. “Yes, ma’am,” Law mocked you but listened to your orders nonetheless. Not like he had much of a choice. After the pact, every order you gave no matter how small, was followed. You didn’t like making them do things, giving them orders, but when the hands were down… You needed them to focus right now. 

The path twisted and turned in many directions. There were dead ends and traps, like a maze. For the leader of this makeshift gang, you had to take the back seat in most dangers that befell you. They were too grand to fight off yourself. If one thing came out of this, you learned the extent of both your companion’s capabilities and an invaluable piece of information. While you held a pact with them their demon forms wouldn’t hurt you. The power that they release, that is.

Their presence felt otherworldly, like Sabo’s. Their combined power would have pulverized you. It was just as great and magnificent as the first time you were able to see it. When Sabo threw you against the tomb’s wall. This time you could hold your own against this gripping force that radiated out of them. Your sight was clear and your head didn’t hurt. Your body didn’t weaken at the proximity. It was probably because of the pact you made with them.

Their forms changed as Sabo’s had. Law grew tusk-like horns that protruded from the back of his head, wrapping around to the front. They were pearl-white and sharp. Under his coat there was a tail, thin with a tuft of black hair at the end. Kid Had also grown one of his own, a golden tail that faded into pitch black. His own set of horns came out from the top of his head, twisting into their sharp endings. His teeth ground into fangs. They looked savaged like they’d maul anything that crosses his path. 

They both ferociously protected you from any trap that was set up in the labyrinth. Tearing into anything that moved and ripping you away from any danger that befell you. Eventually, you did come across the others, having a hammering headache as your guide. The two demons had to go ahead in front of you to tell Ace and Sanji to turn back from their demon forms so you could step closer. Nami, on the other hand, wasn’t affected by it. Her magic gives her protection from their power. “Oh my sweet, Y/n. it’s okay to come closer now.” Sanji called out for you. “R-right,” you turned the corner to meet them.

“Now we need to find an exit.”

“Darling, how I love it when you take charge.” Sanji was a flirtatious fool, no wonder that woman, Violet, was mad at him. However, she should have known better than to cross a whole coven. Pushing you in front, the two brothers you made a pact with ‘protected’ you from their brother. Not wanting you close the lascivious demon.

There was more walking, the labyrinth seemed endless. Yes labyrinth, Ace had filled you all in about it when you caught up. It was below the castle, and nearly inescapable, to those who didn’t know the way. But a powerful mage could figure it out with a spell or two, she just wanted to find the others first. With you guys here there was nothing stopping Nami. She started her spell, but there was this rustling coming from the chambers. It was a persistent sound, like sliding on the floor. Nami stopped her spell to hear it better, “what is that?” All present stopped to listen to the low creeping sound that was… getting closer. 

A wall down the path to your left was moving, you could swear that it didn’t lead to a dead-end before. “Guys, what is that?” You pointed at the scaly impasse that seemed to be moving to block all exit points. “Oh, fuck,” Law whispered under his breath, “That’s my pet Mindsnare Naga, Nola.” Kid punched his arm, “a mindsnare, really Law, really.” They were nasty creatures who seek power above all else. They’re immortal beasts that needn’t worry about time, creating convoluted plans to get to their goal. The highest-ranking person in the location they decide to nest in. They live to control and dominate their victims into submission. They suck them out of life with their venom then fill them with false memories and a built personality to help them reach their goal. If it was deep in the bowels of the castle had it already started it’s schemes? Does the ruler of Devildom know what resides underneath his very feet? You could worry about the troubles of the palace after you manage to escape its clutches.

Law had forbidden you all from harming his ‘poor Nola’. The others protested though he left them no choice, threatening that he’d destroy everything they loved if they were to harm a scale on the serpent. He gave them no choice but to oblige. Crossing the avatar of envy was one of the last things anyone wanted to do. He knew how to ruin any person until they gave up on themselves. He’s sent many into an endless cycle of loathing and suffering. “You’re its master, command it!” Kid yelled at law. “I can’t, she escaped when she was still young. I didn’t have time to train her.” How useless! How were you all supposed to defend yourselves now? You can’t hurt it, much less fight it. “I should have known she’d head to the palace. Her kind charm leaders of lands to do their bidding. Shanks must have found her and trapped her down here. My poor baby.” Not the time to hand out sympathy to something that wants to kill you. “Then what are we gonna do,” Ace piped in, the first time he talked since you’ve all gotten together. “We can’t fight it-”

“Her.”

“Not the time, Law.” If anyone was pissed at the scenario you seemed to be stuck in, it was wrath himself. “Don’t those things grow a second head if you kill it?” Law rolled his eyes at his brother’s ineptitude. “No, that’s a Hydra of Lerna. And they only regrow TWO heads from one that was chopped off, not if you kill it.” Thanks for sharing the knowledge, not helping though. “A mindsnare naga charms its enemies to kill them. Which is what she should be doing now….so we better think of something. Fast.” Law said this like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Why not try to be a little less smug and a little more helpful? “I know what we can do.” It was Nami this time who spoke up. “If I use my pact with Sanji I can boost his own power and mesmerize the snake.”

“Not a snake.”

“No one cares.” Nami turned to Sanji. “Are you ready?” He gave her a seducing smile. “For you? Always.” Nami raised her hand, a ball of glowing light sitting in her palm. Power flowed from her and Sanji seemed to be transmitting her energy. “Praebueris tua poteste quod tibi commodare mea. Nos hanc novam transmittat; coniuncta cum virtute non moveretur a te transiret ponam inimicos.” Her incantations forced an unyielding power to surge out of Sanji. “Don’t worry, Y/n. with my power I’ll protect you, so you won’t pass out.”

Sanji’s demon form is an incubus. Leathery wings bent to make a heart around his head then they straightened into a fine point. Short curved horns came out of each side of his head, and a long thick tail with an arrowhead tip at the end. He radiated an aura that was seen flowing out of him. The boost Nami gave him made his already grand power even more so. Sanji flew through the space between the ceiling and the top of the snake. Following it till he reached the head. Nola had wrapped herself around every way out. She was now coming in through the last passageway with Sanji in tow. He had charmed her on his way over, the serpent didn’t hold any more malice. “Get on! Nola is gonna show us the way out.” Law grabbed you by the waist and jumped on, the others in right behind you. “If she knows the way out then why is she still in here?” Sanji chuckled at Law’s question. “She’s not imprisoned. Shanks found her when she was young and let her stay down here. She gets fed every day and can go out if she pleases.” Law looked sad. His serpent had chosen a different master. As much as he loved her, there wasn’t anything he could do. She was just another of the nine monsters in this realm that guarded the nine circles now. 

After you finally got out of the labyrinth you all had dinner prepared by the demons. Shanks announced that the next day you will be doing a scavenger hunt in the palace. Hence the tour of the place. The lower demons had continued the tour after you vanished, so most of what the ones left standing saw was a mystery to you. The scavenger hunt tomorrow was gonna be hard. All of them knew this and demonstrated it with a groan that passed from one to another. After supper, Shanks separated you into groups. You were with Sanji and Ace. Kid was with Law and Robin. Nami was with Luffy and Usopp. Lastly was Sabo and Shanks.

Kid had protested, yelling that you had a pact with him and should be placed with him, but Sabo told him to zip it and follow orders. You all split up into separate bedrooms for the night. Nami staying back to have a word with you. She lent you some of her power for the rest of the retreat. She said you deserve to have some form of protection for the rest of the trip, not to mention she wanted you to have a good time with the rest. You were a bit confused by her sudden willfulness to share power, something you didn’t even know could be done, but Nami was very front face about everything. She wouldn’t have lied about her intentions. Feeling a tad closer everyone you made your way to your shared room with the rest. Today was a long day, though it was filled with many fun and exciting things.

1800’s slang-

* Hornswoggler- a fraud or a cheat

* Flapdoodle- sexually incompetent man

* Meater/Pigeon-Livered- coward

* Mumbling cove- a shabby person

* Ratbag- a general term of abuse

* Vazey- stupid

* Wagtail- promiscuous woman/ dissolute man

[holidaywishes]

Hard Not To Notice

  Requested: 🙅‍♀️

  Summary: Your roommate decides to take in your Sociology Professor after he gets locked out of his apartment and shenanigans ensue

  Author’s Note: So I did it. I know nobody asked for it, but I wrote Jamie Benn as a Professor as imagined in my dream. It is VERY VERY VERY long, like longer than I intended but I didn’t really think it merited a second chapter --  Because I know me and a second chapter would’ve turned into three and three to five and before you know it, it’s a whole thirty chapters. So, I’m sorry. You get one exceptionally long, drawn out, hopefully not boring, Jamie Benn imagine. Yeah, thinking back on it, I probably should’ve split it up -- but it’s too late. ENJOY!

  P.S.: YNN stands for Your Nickname

  P.P.S.: I have a cold, so I was drinking Hot Toddies and Rosé, meaning there was alcohol in my system, when I wrote part of this.

  Warning: (not super descriptive) smut, fluff, Jamie Benn as a University Professor, such a long chapter.

  masterlist

  “I’m going to fail out of University...” you whined, frustrated by the lack of material that your brain was retaining, “I’m such an idiot!”

  “Relax!” your roommate, Natasha, said, “you’re probably thinking too much about Mr. Benn”

  “Our Prof?”

  “Yeah,” she nudged, “I bet you’re having all kinds of fantasies about him teaching you a lesson...”

  “What on Earth are you talking about Natasha?” you countered

  “The guy is hot! And he’s got authority over us? Double hot..”

  “He’s our Professor...”

  “And you’re legal, as long as it’s consensual what’s the big deal?”

  “The fact that it’s unethical...”

  “Pfft..” she brushed you off and you rolled your eyes, going back to your notes to try to study for your final exam tomorrow afternoon but you couldn’t help thinking about why she thought you were thinking about Mr. Benn

  “Why would you say I’m thinking about him anyway?”

  “Simple.. you’re a virgin” she said matter-of-factly

  “Natasha!” you laughed, slight shock in your tone

  “What? Am I wrong?” she asked and you shook your head shyly, “see. Listen, it’s fine. Every virgin has someone they fantasize about losing it to and are super obvious about it...”

  “Wait, what do you mean?”

  “Don’t worry, guys are oblivious to literally everything. I hardly doubt he’s noticed. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t”

  “How am I obvious about it then?”

  “For one, your face goes beet red when you see him. Two, you try to avoid conversations about him in case you get a little too invested...” she wandered over to sit beside you, “three, he’s a hot Professor. Forget being a virgin, anyone with eyes would fantasize about that man...” You noticed her eyes wander to a corner in the room and you could tell that she was thinking about him, so you went back to studying.

  “It’s not like he notices us like that anyway,” you finally said, “we’re his students, he’s more.. decent than that”

  “Oh please,” Natasha rebutted, “guys aren’t decent. None of them. They’re all looking for sex and they’ll drop all their morals and ethics to get it”

  “Don’t be so cynical”

  “All I’m saying is that you’re hot and I’m hot and we all know he’s hot, so who’s to say he doesn’t see us like that?”

  “Let’s just study okay?” you pleaded

  “I can’t study here... too stuffy,” she giggled, “I’m going to the library...”

  “Good luck” you waved her out

  “And to you, my love“ she called back

Jamie’s P.O.V

  “I love my job, I love my job, I love my job...” you repeated to yourself as you wrote the copies of the final exam, “I love my job, I -- I hate these stupid exams!” Your whole apartment building seemed to be blaring EDM music that night and you couldn’t concentrate, it also didn’t help that your roommate brought back what you were almost positive was a Sorority girl and the two of them were fucking like Gorillas.

  “Hey dude!” your roommate, Lawrence, busted out of his bedroom after hours of not making an appearance, “are we being too loud? Sorry.. but I can’t say it’s going to get any quieter if you know what I mean...”

  “It’s fine.. I think I’d be better off at the library tonight anyway,” you admitted, “you two can be as loud as you want...” Larry smiled in excitement before rushing back to his room and slamming the door. You headed out to your car, making sure you had everything you needed before you drove to the library

  “At least it’ll be quiet” you thought to yourself. Once you got to the library, you searched for a table you could spread your papers out on and sat down.

  “Mr. Benn?” a voice whispered in front of you, forcing you to look up

  “Natasha...” you quickly tried to cover your papers from her, “what are you doing here?”

  “I came to study...” she said, still trying to keep her voice quiet, “what are you doing here?”

  “Last minute exam stuff...” you confessed

  “Couldn’t you have done that in your apartment or your office? It would’ve been way more private”

  “Apartment was too distracting and there’s more space at one of these tables than at my desk. I’m a tactile kind of guy. I like to hold the papers in my hands instead of writing everything on a computer, you know..?”

  “I get that..” she said and you noticed her bite her lip, “look if you need somewhere extra quiet, with a lot of space to spread out all of.. this, (Y/N) always manages to keep our apartment silent during finals. You’re welcome to use it, I’ll just text her and let her know”

  “That’s nice of you to offer, Ms. Parker, but I think it might be inappropriate”

  “Nonsense. Neither of us will be there. I’ll just give you my key, you go in and do your stuff and then that’ll be that...” You were just about to dismiss the offer again when you heard a loud crash behind you and you caved

  “You know what? I might have to take you up on your offer...”

  “Great, let me just text (YNN) to let her know”

  “(YNN)”

  “Mhmm. It’s what I always call (Y/N),” Natasha said as she put her phone back in her pocket, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Professor.” The words rolled off her tongue like venom and you knew that she would end up getting you in trouble one day.

  “So I may have done a thing...” Natasha texted

  “What does that mean Nat..? What did you do?” you replied warily

  “I ran into our beautiful Professor and he was desperate for some peace and quiet, so I offered up our apartment. He’s on his way over now...”

  “Excuse you?”

  “He has my key. I told him you’d be out of there...”

  “Tasha!”

  “(Y/N)...”

  “Where am I supposed to study?”

  “Oh hush you’ve done enough studying. Come hang out with me and the girls at the bar”

  “You and the girls? You mean the Sorority chicks who can’t stand the fact that I exist?”

  “Don’t be dramatic, they like you. They just haven’t had a chance to really get to know you...”

  “Mhm...”

  “I’m serious!”

  “Fine, what bar?”

  “O’Finnigan’s”

  “Of course... I’ll see you in like 10″

  “Love you bye!”

  You rolled your eyes and began rushing around your apartment. You definitely didn’t feel like you’d studied enough but the last thing you felt comfortable with was struggling to study while your hunky Professor was in the other room. Just as you went to grab the door handle, you heard the rustling of keys and you knew you were about to come face to face with Mr. Benn.

  “(Y/N).. Natasha said you wouldn’t be here,” he stammered, “I’m sorry”

  “No don’t be, I was just on my way out, Mr. Benn” you blushed

  “Okay, well don’t be out partying too late, you’ve got an exam tomorrow...” he smiled, making your face heat up and your stomach flutter

  “You don’t have to worry about me...” you said as you turned to leave, squeezing your eyes shut at your ridiculous words. When you got to the bar, you ordered a Vodka soda immediately

  “Someone’s on edge” one of Tasha’s Sorority girls chimed

  “Not on edge, just thought I’d join the party..”

  “That’s my girl!” Tasha yelled, “but I think we need shots. Lemon Drops, Tequila, Whiskey, Porn Stars!” You knew this would happen. Every night out with Natasha turned into an ‘I’ll drink you under the table and ask for more shots’ kinda thing which is why you had mastered the art of throwing back shots without actually throwing back shots. After a couple hours, your best friend was almost completely trashed and so were the other girls, so you called two Übers -- one to get the girls back to their Sorority house and the other to get you and your drunk roommate home. Getting everyone out of the bar was the biggest struggle but once they were in the respective cars, it was smooth sailing; you just hoped that Mr. Benn had gone home for both yours and Natasha’s sake.

  “Well holy shit!” Natasha yelled when you opened the door to find your Sociology Professor doing squats against the wall, an immediate flush of heat ran through your body and you could tell he was caught off guard by Natasha’s words.

  “What time is it?” he asked

  “It’s almost 2 AM,” you answered, “we thought you’d be gone by now...”

  “Yeah not working out and looking like a Greek God!” Natasha slurred slightly

  “Yeah, uhh, sorry. I find that any kind of exercise after long periods of sitting helps me think better but I should be on my way home...”

  “No, no it’s fine. You can, uhm.. you can take my bed. It’s really too late to leave now and you’re probably tired. I’ll just get this one to bed” you said, gesturing to Natasha, “and I’ll take the couch”

  “You don’t have to do that, I can sleep on the couch”

  “No it’s okay, I’ve got shorter legs. You’ll be much comfier on an actual mattress than a makeshift one. And it’s just one night...”

  “If you’re sure..”

  “Absolutely!” you smiled and helped your friend into her bed, trying to get her to stay quiet. Once you got her to sleep, you were able to grab some extra Pajamas and head over to the couch. You sighed heavily before changing into the comfy set of clothes and grabbing a blanket; falling asleep almost immediately. The next morning, the alarm on your phone rang in your ear and you raced to turn it off before it could wake anyone else up; You had a very particular exam ritual that needed no interruptions. First, wake up at 8 AM. Second, shower with steaming hot water. Third, banana smoothie. Fourth, moisturize. Fifth, pick outfit. Six, brush teeth. Seven, do makeup. Eight, figure out something to do with your pathetic excuse for hair -- always ultimately settling for au naturel; slightly wavy, but mostly straight with an elastic around your wrist in case you needed it off your neck. Nine, get dressed. Ten, cram before the exam. It was almost always a foolproof system. Except this time, your Professor was in your bedroom and you found yourself compelled to be as quiet as possible; especially when step five came into play.

  You tried your best to sneak into your bedroom to grab a pair of light wash high-waisted skinny jeans, a loose fitted white v-neck and a lacy black bralette, nearly forgetting to grab underwear and a pair of socks. Once you had everything, you tip-toed to the bathroom to brush your teeth, do a little bit of makeup and start on your hair, looking it over in its wet state as if you were going to do anything other than just leave it down; quickly spraying some heat protectant and brushing it through. You made sure the door was completely closed and locked before you started blow drying, hoping that Mr. Benn was a heavy sleeper. You were surprised by how long your hair was getting. Once it was dry it hit just past the middle of your back and you got a little distracted by the feeling of it sweeping across your skin that you didn’t hear Natasha wake up until she tried to open the bathroom door.

  “I need to pee” she whined

  “I’m almost done, I just have to get dressed,” you replied, “just give me like 10 minutes”

  “Five!” she countered and you agreed. You looked yourself over, making sure your outfit was okay; you would’ve just gone in sweatpants since this was your only final of the day but your Mom had always believed that if you look good, you feel good. Which is why she always wore dresses on flights, even 14 hour ones across multiple time zones. Plus, you had to be prepared for the very real possibility that celebratory ‘we finished Sociology’ drinks would happen after the exam. So, you wore a light top and figure flattering jeans that made your waist look tiny, spraying a few dabs of your favourite perfume behind your ears, on your neck and on your wrists before throwing on white vans for comfort.

Jamie’s P.O.V

  “Morning, girls” you greeted (Y/N) and Natasha

  “Morning Mr. Benn” Natasha said, popping blackberries in her mouth

  “Good Morning,” (Y/N) said with a sweet smile and, for some reason, this was this first time you noticed how different the two really were, “alright! I am off, I think.. Tasha are you coming with me?”

  “Hmm?” was Natasha’s only response

  “Why are you leaving so early? The exam isn’t until the afternoon..” you asked

  “Ugh, she does this every exam” Natasha said, rolling her eyes, “she thinks that she can cram every last molecule of information in before every exam. So she’s up at like 6 AM getting ready and then is out of the apartment a solid three hours before the room is even ready”

  “That’s not it exactly...” (Y/N) tried, “I just like to go over my flash cards and make sure I’m as prepared as possible. That way, at least I know I studied enough and that if I fail then I’ll do better next time...”

  “You ever heard that saying ‘if you don’t know it by now, you just don’t know it?’” Natasha asked snidely and you noticed (Y/N) narrow her eyes at her, making you laugh slightly

  “Don’t worry, you’ll do great!” you tried to reassure her, noticing her straighten her posture, “you’re one of my best students. Plus, I don’t make my exams super difficult...” The smile she gave at your words lit something inside of you that worried you slightly. She was your student, at least for a couple more hours, you shouldn’t be feeling this way toward her.

  “Good to know,” she said with that same smile on her face, “I’m still gonna head to the library for a bit, just to clear my head a little. Tasha?”

  “Nah, I’m good. I’ll stay here with our Professor...”

  “Okay, you want me to bring you anything? Coffee, Tea, Croissant?” she giggled and Natasha replied by shaking her head, “Mr. Benn?”

  “Jamie,” you corrected, “I think you can call me by my name after I just spent the night in your b-- apartment...”

  “Okay.. Jamie, would you like me to pick you up anything?”

  “No I’m fine, thank you though” you smiled and she nodded before waving goodbye to you and Natasha.

  “Guess it’s just the two of us, Jamie” she whispered your name and leaned forward, purposefully pushing out her chest

  “Call me Mr. Benn, please, Ms. Parker,” you replied, placing her key on the counter, “I’m actually going to get ready myself. I suggest you do the same.” You could tell by the look on her face as you turned away that she had never been rejected before and it confused the hell out of her.

  Which actually made you extremely satisfied for some reason.

  You were ready. You knew you were. But this was just part of your routine. You always had to cram before you took your final or else you’d only have yourself to blame if it all went horribly, terribly wrong. Though, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t trying to get some distance between you and Mr. B-- you and Jamie before the exam started. You were one of the first to get to the classroom, preceded only by Autumn -- the epitome of a Teacher’s Pet. You walked straight to your regular seat, in the front row, and brought out some lined paper, an extra pen and pencil and an eraser, scrolling through Instagram as the rest of the class drifted in and claimed their seats when you saw a post from Natasha -- almost completely naked, with only underwear on and her arm covering her breasts -- and your body filled with anger. You hated when she did this and you knew, even before you read the caption, that she was looking for some kind of approval from somebody, anybody.

  @yourfavouriterussianprincess: I think I look pretty good, don’t you?

  Before you replied, you decided to look through the comments; seeing a flood of, “you’re beautiful,” “I’d do filthy things to you,” and, the one you always hated to see because it gave her such a huge ego boost, “I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful than you.” You rolled your eyes and decided to send her a text

  “What the fuck, Natasha?”

  “What?”

  “You’re posting nudes now?”

  “It was tasteful, I was covered”

  “What happened? You said you’d never do that?”

  “He fucking rejected me (YNN), Mr. Benn. Our ‘classy, gentlemanly’ Sociology Prof. Rejected ME”

  “So you took to Instagram to what? prove him wrong?”

  “Yes! I needed a bit of validation. Sue me!” Just as her text rang through, he walked through the door and you made eye contact with him, smiling awkwardly and he turned his gaze away from you

  “And you tagged him in it! are you crazy? you could get him fired!!”

  “Relax miss goodie goodie, he’s not gonna get fired. It’s not like I said anything about him. I just wanted to make sure he saw what he was missing out on...” You were starting to get angry with her. It was like she didn’t care that she was putting his career in jeopardy

  “Whatever. Are you on your way? The exam starts soon and everyone is pretty much here...”

  “Don’t worry, I’m like five minutes out”

  “So... see you in 15?”

  “Har Har.” You rolled your eyes and put your phone on silent, sitting back in your chair and fidgeting with your pen.

  “Alright everyone,” Jamie said, “now, I know who you all are but unfortunately, it’s exam protocol for you to put your University IDs on your desk. So, if you could please grab those and put them in the left hand corner of your desks. I’ll come grab them and give them to you once you’ve handed me your exam...” You leaned down to grab your wallet and you felt like someone was watching you, forcing you to snap back upright in your seat when you noticed Jamie staring at his phone and quickly putting it face down as Natasha came into the room. Shit, you thought to yourself, he saw it and after this exam she wouldn’t be his student anymore...

  “Sorry I’m late, Professor...” she said in a baby voice as she found her seat

  “That’s fine Ms. Parker, take a seat..” he said, clearing his throat as her eyes never left his, “Alright a few things before we start. I didn’t have time to proof-read the exams last night so there might be some typos; if you find any, raise your hand and I’ll come see you. Since all the exams are different, I can’t just write the corrections on the board, so it’s easier if I just come to each of you... Okay, you can start.. good luck everyone!” You opened your exam booklet and began reading the questions, listening to everyone frantically circling and scratching out their answers while Mr. Benn came to collect IDs. It wasn’t long before half the class was raising their hands to call Jamie to their desk about this typo and that mistake and, while you had the same concerns, you figured it would save everyone a lot of time if you just wrote your corrections on a blank sheet of paper and brought it to him after the exam. You could hear some students getting increasingly frustrated even though they seemed to be whizzing through the exam but you had to stay focused on the papers in front of you. Autumn was one of the first to turn in her exam and she shot you a sarcastic smile which you immediately shook off but when you saw Natasha hand in her exam and glide her hand over Jamie’s arm before sauntering out, you got a flurry of butterflies in your stomach and you forced yourself to take a deep breath. One by one, the class began to empty and you found yourself getting more and more nervous, pushing your hair from one side to the other out of habit; when you looked up to check the time, you saw Jamie staring at you rather intensely and your eyes quickly snapped back to your paper.

  You had two questions left on your exam but all you could think about was what he was thinking and why he was looking at you.

Jamie’s P.O.V

  When you walked past to collect her ID, the smell of (Y/N)’s perfume permeated the air; leaving you in a bit of a daze. The rest of the students were constantly raising their hands to call you over to correct a question but not (Y/N) and you couldn’t help but wonder why; there had to be typos on her exam. You figured you’d let her do whatever she was planning and focus on the students raising their hands. Eventually, there seemed to be a lull and you were able to sit down at your desk, where you were faced with the sexual advances that Natasha was clearly making by tagging you in a provocative Instagram photo.

  “Here’s my exam, Mr. Benn” Autumn smiled, handing her paper to you

  “Thank you, Autumn,” you replied, giving her back her ID, “have a good break.” You looked back out to the rest of the class to see if anyone needed help when you noticed (Y/N) biting her lip and tracing her pen along her collarbone and just barely down her cleavage.

  Holy fuck you thought to yourself, taking a harsh gulp that you hoped was silent enough for no one to notice but that didn’t stop you from imagining what (Y/N)’s lips would taste like and the noises she’d make as you kissed her neck.

  “Mr. Benn...” Natasha shook you out of your thoughts, “just need my ID from you. I hope you liked what you saw today...” she slid her hand over your shoulder and down your arm before you stopped her, making her pout before she sauntered out of the classroom. You noticed (Y/N) take a deep breath and gather her hair to push it to the opposite side of her neck, revealing flushed skin underneath and your mind continued to wander. There was only one other student besides (Y/N) in the classroom and you could tell she was procrastinating.

  “You two finished?” you asked, stepping out from behind your desk just as (Y/N) stood up; almost running into her. Her (Y/E/C) eyes stared widely up at you and you licked your lips in anticipation. What was happening here?

  “Thanks Mr. Benn! It was a great semester. Have a good summer” Tanner said as he raced out of the room, grabbing his ID off your desk.

  “Take it easy Mr. Brown!” You smiled at (Y/N) who slowly handed you her exam.

  “So.. I had some things I thought I’d save for after the exam...” she said and you cocked your eyebrow as you sat down at your desk. She leaned beside you, hair falling effortlessly off her shoulder, and started explaining what she had put on the separate sheet of paper but you were too distracted to really pay attention. As she finished, she tucked some hair behind her ear, “I just thought, with everyone raising their hands at once, this was a more effective way of pointing out corrections. Hopefully, it makes sense. I mean I think it’s clear but I’m the one who wrote it so obviously I w--” she stopped suddenly when she looked at you and you realized that your mouth was gaping slightly

  “Wow..”

  “Oh my gosh..” she said, covering her mouth, laughing lightly, “I’m probably creating so much more work for you. God, I’m an idiot. I knew it... I’m so sorry” just as you were going to talk her down, her phone chimed and all her attention was drawn to it and she started toward the door; you had to stop her.

  “(Y/N), wait” you laid your hand flat against the door, stopping her from leaving, your chest pressed against her back so tightly you could feel her breathing

  “Mr. Benn...” she whispered, “I have to go now...” You dropped your hand from the door, worrying what it might look like to her and waited to see what she would do. When she chose not to move, you took the chance to run your index finger along the side of her exposed neck, slowly making your way up to her ear before you moved your mouth to her collarbone. You had just barely made contact with her skin when she turned the handle and opened the door, running out before you could stop her. Fuck, you thought to yourself, this wasn’t good.

  “Did you get this text that Autumn sent out to everyone? Are you going?”

  “What? Oh yeah, I just saw that.. Sorry, something just kinda.. happened...”

  “What does that mean? Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, no I’m fine. Are you going?”

  “To Autumn’s thing? I mean, it’s at O’Finnigan’s. She doesn’t have a claim over the pub but I guess if she sees us we can join the table..?”

  “Yeah, sure. Sounds good. I’ll meet you there...”

  “Is everything okay?”

  Was everything okay? Technically, yes. But how do you explain to your best friend that your hot Sociology Professor almost, kinda, sorta kissed your neck? Especially after he rejected her. Do you even tell her? Nothing had happened and it’s not like you had stopped him from doing anything but you couldn’t think of where to even start.

  “Absolutely! I’ll be at the pub in like 15 minutes. Where are you?”

  “I’ll be there in 10.” Sure enough, you met Tasha there and saw Autumn with the rest of the Sociology class right by the bar. It was impossible to avoid them, so the two of you just decided to embrace them.

  “Shit, I can’t believe he showed up!” Natasha pulled you aside, “how do I look?”

  “Who showed up? What are you talking about?” you asked, looking around until you found Jamie at the bar

  “I honestly thought he’d be marking exams...” she said, fixing her dress and adjusting her bra to push up her boobs, “seriously, how do I look?”

  “Uhm.. you look great but are you sure--” you tried but she had already left to walk toward the group. You sighed and followed behind shortly after, trying your best to avoid Jamie because you were still unsure of what happened between the two of you; this would be the only time that you were grateful for Natasha’s need for validation. You headed to the bartender first before even grabbing a seat but after you got your drink, the only seat left was beside Jamie, so you reluctantly made your way to him.

  “Hi,” he said shyly, “can we talk?”

  “It’s not a gre--” you started before Tasha interrupted

  “So what was with all the typos Teach?”

  “I think I was just really distracted last night” he confessed

  “Hopefully we all passed” someone from the end of the table joked and everyone else laughed. A few hours later, some of your classmates had gone home, others were trying to create a dance floor and you were trying not to drink too much; to prevent yourself from doing anything too stupid. Tanner pulled you to the makeshift dance floor and you danced and laughed until every part of you hurt, running over to the bar to get another drink. You watched as the rest of the group went home and then you searched for Natasha, realizing she must have gone home as well, and you took out your phone to order an Über.

  “Dance with me?” you recognized Jamie’s voice in your ear and you agreed, only because everyone was gone. The song switched to something slow and Jamie took your hand in his, staring into your eyes before speaking, “I wanted to apologize for what happened earlier”

  “Hmm..” you hummed, laying your head on his chest

  “I didn’t mean to overstep...”

  “You didn’t overstep,” you finally said, “I was just a little surprised”

  “Surprised?” he asked, making you look up at him

  “Honestly,” you started, “I didn’t think you noticed me like that.. I just thought I was one of your students.” He smiled at you and let your head fall back on his chest

  “You’re hard not to notice” he whispered and you pulled your eyes back to meet his, staring intermittently at his lips while his hands gripped your waist tighter to pull you close to him, your chest heaving with want; Jamie leaned in to close the tension that had been there all night, since you left his classroom really, and pressed his soft lips against yours. You hesitantly kissed him back before wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders, feeling the tickle of his beard against your cheek.

  “Wanna get out of here?” he pulled back, breathless, but kept his forehead against yours. You nodded and he led you out of the bar, getting in one of the cabs already waiting out front. The whole ride to his apartment, you ran your fingers over the lines on his palm; mockingly reading his fortune

  “So this is your money line..” you giggled, “apparently, you’ll run into great fortune later in life but until then you’ll suffer financial uncertainty..”

  “Whoa.. dark” he laughed

  “And this is your life line...” you stroked the line that curved around his thumb, “it’s long. Which is good. That means you’ll live like forever!” You smiled and looked up at him through your eyelashes, catching him staring and he smiled back at you

  “Let me see yours,” he said, playfully grabbing your hand, “this line here, is your heart line...”

  “Hmm..” you hummed with a small smile playing on your lips, “what does it say about me?”

  “It’s curved, which means you’re... adventurous when it comes to love...”

  “Well that’s just not true” you admitted with a bright smile and Jamie looked back at you, capturing your eyes with his, placing both of his hands on either side of your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb; beginning to lean in for a kiss when the driver stopped the car and asked for payment.

  You tried to be as quiet as possible when you got into Jamie’s apartment but the alcohol was starting to hit you and you just wanted him. You wanted him to strip you of the fabric covering your skin, you wanted him to press his lips against yours, you wanted him to let his hands roam freely around your body, you wanted him to push his body against yours, you wanted him to make you feel things you’d never felt before.

  “Larry?!” Jamie called and you giggled before he pushed you up against the wall, “Larry, you here?”

  “Who’s Larry?” you laughed, running your fingers delicately up and down his forearms, and kicked off your shoes

  “My roommate. I don’t want him walking in on us if he’s here...” he said and you nodded once, biting your bottom lip and snaking your hands behind his head while you waited if someone returned his answer. When no one did, you pulled Jamie down to kiss you and you felt his hands move down to your ass where his grip tightened just enough for you to let out a small scream.

  “Sorry,” you giggled, covering your mouth, “you surprised me...” He brought his lips back to yours, quickly laying a kiss there before smiling against your lips, picking you up and taking you into his bedroom, kicking the door shut with his foot. You twirled your fingers in his hair while you laid gentle kisses along his jaw until he set you down in front of the bed. You moved your hands up and down his torso, feeling his toned body underneath, as you kissed him deeply and unbuttoned his shirt, pulling the hem out from where it was tucked and moving it off his shoulders. You reveled in his body for a minute before pushing yourself up onto your tip toes to kiss him passionately, your hands slowly caressing his body as they made their way to unbutton his jeans. His hands seemed to stop yours and he pulled his lips from yours; you opened your eyes and caught his just as he knelt before you, his large hands untucking your shirt from your jeans. You looked down at what he was doing as he nipped at your skin and unbuttoned your jeans, tugging at them slightly as he pulled them off, lifting each foot when the denim got to the floor and his eyes found yours as he made his way back up to remove your t-shirt.

  “I’ve always wondered what you looked like under all these clothes...” he smirked, moving your arms above your head so he could lift your shirt off, leaving you in just your lacy black bralette and black underwear. You instinctively covered your exposed body but Jamie shook his head, peeling your arms away before lifting your chin up so he could lean down to kiss you; deepening the kiss by wrapping his arms around your ass to lift you onto the mattress. He wrapped your legs around his waist to bring you as far back onto the mattress as possible, positioning your lower back on his pillows before stepping off the bed to push off his shoes and remove his jeans. Before too long, he was on top of you again, kissing and nipping at your lips, gripping your body tightly and grinding his hips into yours; you craved more but you weren’t sure how honest you should be.

  “Jam-- Mr. Benn?” you reverted, causing him to stop his kisses, “maybe we should slow down...”

  “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” his face scrunched in concern and you raised your eyebrows before stroking his cheek

  “No, of course not!” you said, “I’m sorry, I just... think I have to tell you something”

  “Go for it...” his eyes bored into yours and you hesitated, hearing Natasha’s voice in your head

  “Here’s a tip: guys already know when a girl is a virgin. It’s something about the way she presents herself in bed... So when you do finally have sex, just don’t tell the guy.”

  “(Y/N)?” Jamie asked, snapping you out of your head

  “I’m a virgin” you finally said, more blunt than you anticipated

  “Oh...” was Jamie’s only response and immediate regret filled your body, “that’s okay”

  “I want to keep going...” you admitted, noticing the smile on his face return, “I just couldn’t continue if I thought you thought I had.. more experience...” Without missing a beat, he found your lips and pressed his body close to yours, closing the last bit of space between the two of you.

  “Hmm wait...” he pulled away and you whined at the distance he created, “please don’t call me Mr. Benn..” you smiled at his request before pulling him back to your lips. His hands began to roam your body, slowly making their way down to your core as he nipped at the skin behind your ear and kissed your neck slowly. When his fingers reached into your underwear, one slipped inside you without hesitation and you moaned at the sudden sensation, lightly tugging on Jamie’s hair. You felt him nip at your neck quickly before making his way down to your chest and with each moan you let out, he pumped his finger faster inside of you.

  “Fuck” you breathed, making Jamie quicken the pace of his finger before sitting up to adjust his position, falling back onto his shins and bringing you up with him, fingers still curled inside of you.

  “Take this off...” he gestured to your bralette with a quick bite on his bottom lip and you removed the fabric quickly, revealing your peaked nipples, Jamie’s mouth moving to cover them just as quickly as his finger moved inside you and you let out a breathless moan; you needed him inside of you. You snaked your hand to the waistband of his briefs and pulled his face back to yours with your free hand to watch his face as you took him in your hand. He scrunched his face at you and you laughed

  “What?”

  “Lean back, let me take care of you...” He laid you back against his pillows, moving the hair out of your face before laying a kiss to your forehead; His hands gripped your hips tightly before pulling your underwear off. You could tell that he was hesitating, so you lined him up with your entrance and drove your hips up; the feeling of him finally inside you practically lifted you of the mattress and you let out a moan that you swore echoed through the entire apartment. His pace was faster than you thought he’d be and you were still trying to adjust to his size while he pumped in and out of you; your face contorting between pleasure and pain until Jamie finally slowed his movements. The slower his pace, the deeper his thrusts and the more pleasurable the experience. As he kissed your neck, you hummed at the feeling, making him nip at your collarbone and increase his speed slightly; a strew of curse words left Jamie’s lips as your hands roamed his body before stationing them just above his ass

  “Harder...” you breathed and he obliged, his head falling to rest on your chest as he continued to thrust into you. It wasn’t long after that Jamie’s pace became more and more sporadic, letting you know that he was close. You moaned into his ear as you felt his hand travel down your chest to your clit, circling his thumb as he pumped into you

  “Cum for me, baby” he whispered in your ear as he continued his ministrations. You arched your back to create more friction and enhance the pleasure and before you knew it, you were seeing stars. Once he finished, he rolled off of you, laying on his side watching your chest rise and fall while you came down from your high; you turned to look at him, smiling and feeling your face flood with heat

  “Are you blushing?” he asked, dumbfounded

  “Maybe...” you admitted

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know..” you moved the sheet in front of your face to cover your blush

  “I’m not your professor anymore...” he said, knowing that’s probably what you were thinking about, and began tracing shapes on your shoulder

  “That’s probably for the best,” you smiled, turning your head to look at him, “I really hated your class...” You waited for his reaction and he just laughed before pulling you close to tickle you; causing you to laugh loudly

   “Oh yeah? That a fact?” he asked, tickling you and intermittently kissing your neck

  “Stop! Stop!” you laughed, telling him you had to get up and he just watched you put on his shirt and saunter out of his room.

Jamie’s P.O.V

  (Y/N) made her way back into your bed and you couldn’t believe that she hadn’t just decided that she’d made a terrible mistake and that she should leave. Instead, she curled up next to you and you basked in the smell of her perfume that had managed to last through the night. When she caught you staring at her, you could tell that she was a little concerned

  “Is something wrong?”

  “Nope, why would anything wrong?” you asked

  “You’re staring...” she smiled and tucked her head into your chest

  “You’re beautiful,” you blushed, “I couldn’t help but stare.” The two of you laid awake for a while, her fingers roaming over your shoulders and yours tracing down her back, before both of you faded to sleep. The next morning, you woke up to an empty space beside you and you brought your hands to your head, thinking that she finally got sick of you.

  “What’s wrong?” you heard her voice ring through the air, “have a bad sleep Professor?”

  “You’re still here?”

  “Of course I’m still here, weirdo,” she smiled, lifting her glass up to show you, “I just wanted something to drink.”

  “Come here...” you lifted up the sheets to guide her back into you. She took a quick sip of her Orange Juice and set the cup on your nightstand before jumping under the covers with you. You kissed her neck quickly and pulled her close to you, “now what did I say about calling me Professor...”

  “Nothing...” she giggled, “you said not to call you Mr. Benn anymore...”

  “Sneaky” you said, letting out a laugh. After a bit more teasing, you managed to convince her to stay in bed with you all day. And it was the best day you’d had in a long time.

[backstrom]

jamie benn deserves your love

hello welcome to the jamie benn love hour where i’ve had too much to drink, my amazing captain broke his goal drought against the blues, and we’ve been talking about a love of this jam cow today and i need to express some feelings okay like look at this amazing wonderful human

my jordie post was pure thirst and it caused some people to have the thought that i love jordie more or think he’s the better benn but look peeps, i love jordie, i do, there’s no questions about that but my love for this giant eyed beautiful fridge of a man can’t be compared to how i feel about jordie because jamie? he is my ride or die okay, i can’t even begin to try and compare my love for him to anything else because nothing seems big enough i just have a lot of feelings about him and it’s hard :(((

I’M INTERRUPTING THIS JAMIE LOVE TO GIVE LOVE TO FAKSA AND RADS BECAUSE??? THEY BOTH SCORED??? YALL I LOVE THIS TEAM I’M CRYING RIGHT NOW

okay i’m sorry back to the jam love okay look everyone thinks he’s boring and doesn’t have any personality but like he’s just shy okay!!! he’s a shy soft cow who doesn’t like to be in the spotlight always okay especially when so many people talk shit about him i can’t blame him but like he’s funny and a goofy dork and more people should realize that so let me help you

okay the rest of the second one wont appear but like he’s making fun of hank lundqvist and i think that’s beautiful AND JAMIE SCORED AGAIN!!!! THAT’S MY LOVE!!!! anyway like if you don’t love jamie benn you’re wrong and i won’t hear any arguments about this okay because you’re wrong like can we talk about how much his team loves him??? like no matter what he is their leader and they respect him and look up to him and like it just makes me cry?? also like even sidney crosby loves him and you’re really gonna disagree with him?? anyway here’s some words of everyone loving jam bean and thinking he’s great

“jamie benn, yeah. great two way player. he’s big, strong, and tough. when you talk about the top players, not necessarily right away does his name always come up, but i definitely think he deserves to be there.” - sid when asked who he thinks the most underrated player in the league was, someone else also said jamie and said some nice things but that person is shitty so

“he big and i got big love for him” - courteney, 2019

“If Monty is not talking, Jamie is. He’s another coach. I think he’s really good at leading by example. And when he’s on his game, you can see the whole team has rallied behind him. Because everyone is playing hard. So when he starts talking, guys respect him and listen because it’s not taken lightly…” - dicky talking about jam

“He is laser-focused and intense. Jamie really walks the walk, and in my mind, is a great captain because of it. There aren’t many players that have his mix of skill and physicality, and you know the other team is always aware of him. He’s the type of person that you not only want to play with, but you want to play for.” - tyler aka jams biggest fan fuck you fight me

other things i love about this dumb cow: 

- he has a fear of heights so bad he can’t even do a vr walk the plank game yet he goes on a helicopter around the city because that makes sense, sure. 

- also the fact that his voice? still honestly surprises me like it’s not what you expect coming from someone who is as big as he is but like it just makes him that much more lovable and cute okay. 

- i don’t think i need to talk about how petty he is, because like who doesn’t know that about him? but i fucking love it like, it gives me so much joy to see him just sitting on someone??

- bunch mox, nuff said

i shall leave you with this bc like damn look how attractive he is and also sorry not sorry for how long this is i could have made it a lot longer okay i have a lot of feelings about him as i’ve mentioned

[butlegendsneverdie]

Party of Four {7} (b.h)

A/N: Here ya’ll go. Nothing special. But Enjoy! Like Comment (plz) Reblog. 

Find the rest of the series by typing in party of four into the search bar

Pairing: Ben x Reader Words: 846 Summary: Ben after seeing how his phone blew up and yeah Warning: hospitals

A/N2: Please please please let me know if you guys want to know the genders of the babies. I don’t think I’ve revealed it anywhere and that appointment is coming up and do you guys want to be surprised or what?

picture not mine

October 19, 2016

“What the fuck happened?” Ben asked through the phone. There was fear and panic spreading through his body. He was trying to control the very evident crack in his voice. Ben was determined not to breakdown over the phone.

He had just talked to you the night before and everything appeared to be going just fine then. You had made every indication that you were following your normal schedule. But maybe that was just a facade, the misrepresentation of how you were really doing, which wasn’t well. Ben made a mental note to talk to you about that at a later date, you can’t be lying to him about this stuff.

“I don’t know Ben. I was checking on her like you wanted me to and help her out with stuff.” Your sister, Georgie, explained over the phone. Ben had called after he listened to the first voicemail. “I got there this morning and she was just laying on the floor. And I couldn’t wake her so I called Evie and nothing was working. I’m sorry Ben.”

“It’s not your fault Georgie. I shouldn’t have left. That’s on me.” Ben sunk his teeth into his lower lip. If he was there and not in the the hotel room that he was currently in, this would not have happened. “Just. What’s going on?”

Georgie explained how the doctors thought you had fallen and hit your head on something, knocking yourself unconscious. They thought that maybe your symptoms took a turn for the worse and you had stopped eating and drinking what you little you could stomach, all together now. That you were really dehydrated and you seemed to have lost a bit more weight than you had the last time you were in.

“They want to consider putting in a PICC line. They say the almost constant flow of fluids will help her with everything.” The younger sister sighed, hoping her brother-in-law would understand.

“But she’s going to be okay? The babies are going to be alright?” In the end that’s all the blonde haired actor cared about. He needed for everyone to be okay. He didn’t know what he would do if you weren’t going to make it.

“Yes.” Ben heard her say. He felt like a but was coming, though it never did. “Just get here when you can. She needs you. They need you.”

Ben tried get to you as soon as possible. Insisting that he had to leave immediately, he made it clearly known that this was a family emergency (which it was) and that the paparazzi were not to be made known about this. It was in the agreement he and his manager made when he told them you were expecting. It still took him the rest of the day.

You had been in the hospital almost one full day, when Ben burst through the door to your room. It didn’t bother you any because you were still in a mode of sleep. You wouldn’t have even noticed if he was there or not.

“I’m here now love. I’m not going anywhere.” He picked up your hand, placing a gentle kiss on the knuckles. He hummed one of your favorite songs as you laid there.

You started stirring sometime during the second day. Ben noticed this, he often murmured soft words on how much he loved you and how perfect the little ones were going to be once they arrived, even though it was still a good four - five months before you were to great them.

“Ben?” Your voice hoarse called out for the man sitting next to you. You let out a soft groan as the nausea started to set in once again. There also was a weird pain emanating from left side of your forehead, an ache that was not there before.

“Hey, Y/N.” He looked you over when he saw your face scrunched. You tried with what little energy you had  to sit up on the uncomfortable bed, but found it difficult to do so. “You gotta be careful. Why don’t you just remain lying down for now?” Your husband helped you get a little more comfortable in the position you had been in.

“Wha-what’s going on?” You came out a bit clearer this time. You could probably figure out where you were. But in that moment you were very confused, having woken up in an unfamiliar place with Ben, who was supposed to be away on business. You were fine, the little beans were okay. They had to be.

A second of sheer panic washed over you at the thought that something was wrong with the two little souls living inside you. Your flew towards your protruding belly, confirming in your mind that they were still there.

“Love, your in the hospital.” Ben watched a another emotion spread across your face. “Everything’s going to be okay, alright? Let me go find the doctor. I promise I’ll be back.” He leaned over your form to kiss the top of your head before exiting the room, leaving you alone.

TAGS: @har-rison-s @ken-yee-not @blathena @dreamerofzaldrizes @kellysimagines @everybodyplaythegame @toger-raylor @onceuponadetectivedemigod @rinastylesworld @stella2445 @jonesyaddiction@inst4daily @mrsmazzello @anna-1946 @benn-seguin-1491 @poteda@anikatcmh @banana-tree-freddiemercury @amy-brooklyn99@cheeseedreams47 @lisannehus @valeriecarolinaw @snow-99 @ixchel-9275 @megalony @blushingwueen @likeit-or-leaveit @jacqueline1916 @rebelrebelyourefaceisamess @rogertaylorsfalsettogivesmehives

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[canonsuponheadsonepiece]

Sex Ed à la Grandline!

Description: Luffy asks Shanks and his crew where children come from. Genre: Humor —————-

It all began so innocent. A quiet day- as quiet as a day with a loudly drunken pirate crew can be- a few destroyed chairs, four, maybe five shattered bottles, just one fight and some harmless screaming… it rarely is that peaceful. Shanks played with his half empty bottle on the counter, eyeing the wet, roundish marks it left. He admitted, that he almost bored himself. “AND IF I TELL YOU, I SAW IT WITH MY OWN EYES! WITH MY OWN EYES, I SWEAR-“ “NEVER” “NO WAY” “I NEVER HEARD SO MUCH SHIT OUT OF SOMEONES MOUTH-“ “SHIT??! I’LL SHOW YOU WHAT’LL COME OUT OF YA MOUTH ONCE I’M FINISHED, YOU DIRTY LIL-“ “YES??! GO ON!” Shanks moved a bit to the side, dodging the flying beer bottle and for a short moment he contemplated if he should climb onto the next table and do his job as a captain to keep them calm. But not because the noise annoyed him (they weren’t even at their best yet) but simply because he finally had something to do. But he decided, while another bootle flew over his head, he felt way too lazy to move- and climbing into a table was undoubtedly something that required a minimum of movement- something he didn’t felt like doing. “HEH?! HEH?! WHAT DO YOU SAY NOW, YOU LITTLE DIRTY-“ “BE HAPPY I DIDNT STUFF YOUR FACE YOU MOTHERF-“ Behind him shattered some wood. Apparently there was a beautiful fight forming and he is too lazy to turn around. It can’t stay like that! “Benn.” He moved his head a few inches, just enough to see his vice who sat a few meters away in a corner. The usual unmoved expression and a cigarette in the corner of his mouth. Raising his eyebrows- letting his emotionless expression change to an almost questioning one. What? “Where’s the little boy?” For a moment it seemed like Benn didn’t knew who was meant but everyone who spent years with him knew, that was never the case. Benn always knew. Shanks thought for a second, that his vice just thought about all the possibilities to answer him without actually opening his mouth. “Outside.” Shanks giggled. He probably couldn’t think of a way. “Where outside?” “Outside.” “Ah.” “Just across the street, if you want to know exactly.” “Ah.” “...” “And what’s he doing there?” “Captain, i don’t want to be rude but...how about you’d just turn around? You’ll see him perfectly through the window.” Shanks just moved his hand, which could have meant everything and nothing at the same time. “Don’t want to.” Benn rolled his eyes. Shanks would’ve seen it as extremely rude but for Benn Beckman, it was a clear sign of him being perfectly amused. “Aye, Capt’n.” “So?” “I don’t know, he… is sitting there and starring at the sky…” It bothered Shanks. “And why in God’s name is he doing that?” Nonchalantly shrugging. “Ask him?” “Ungh…” Asking that brat meant he had to stand up and leave the bar and even walk to the other side of the street. Again. Anyways, why’s that child not here? On the barstool next to him, loud and annoying, with a thousand questions and a thousand self made answers, a glass of juice and three times more self esteem than what’s considered healthy for someone his size- so why wasn’t he here, where he’s supposed to be? “Get him.” Benn frowned. “What?” “Get him here.” Shanks emptied his bottle in one go and pointed to the barstool next to him. “There.” He clarified. He only got a loud huff for an answer, not sure if it sounded annoyed or amused. “Hey, you!” Benn sat up straight and Shanks assumed one of the fighting pirates reacted to his command. “Go and tell our little boy that our captains wants to see him.” He didn’t even ask who was our “little boy”. Everybody knew Luffy. Everybody loved Luffy. Everybody did in their own crude, drunken but honest way. The loud bang of the bars’ door drowned in the chants of intoxicated pirates and wrongly sung Binks Sake. Someone softly took the bottle out of his hand and gave him a new one. He raised his head. “Hm?” Makino smiled quietly. “Hm.” He started opening the bottle in an all too familiar motion. The bar stool next to him rattled and a black haired boy let himself fall onto the seat. Shanks happily turned away from Makino and eyed the boy on his right. “Morning, little brat.” “I’m not little!” “How about you also say hello?” “Maybe I don’t want to anymore!” “Just maybe?” “I don’t want to say hello to you!” “Ah.” Awkward silence. “You know… pirates also need to be polite. If you want to join my crew, a nice “good morning Captain!” Has to come…” Someone behind him fell hysterically laughing onto the floor. A glass shattered again. “Ouuu...shit!” Shanks stifled his laughter at the reaction and stayed serious. Them and polite, a good joke! Luffy still fell for it. “Gooood moooorning captain”, sang the boy with the most innocent face he could muster. “Way better.” Shanks gave him a tired grin and Luffys face lit up. “Are you drunk?” The question came with way more enthusiasm than expected for a child his age. “Remember, boy. He’s always drunk.” Yasopp crossed his legs, now sitting on a table, feeling like he needs to join the conversation. “And proud of it!” Shanks raised his beer in one swift motion- the first really active thing he did today- And clinked his bottle with a passing guy. His bottle being almost empty didn’t interested him the slightest once he put it on his lips. “Hello Luffy.” The angle from the other side of the counter appeared. “What would you like to drink?” His face became deadly serious:”Rum” Making smiled. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. You get some orange juice, okay?” “I’d get it anyways, wouldn’t I?” She winked at him:”I think so.” “Okay…” he crossed his arms and pouted:” Mrs Makimoto got really fat. I saw her today.” That’s typical for the boy. He couldn’t and wouldn’t insult Makino for not giving him what he wanted, but someone had to face his wrath. “Fat women?”, Lucky Roux yelled from the back,” you should forget fat women, they’re no good, little man!” Everybody nodded their head in agreement “There on men: AMEN!” “You can’t say it loud enough!” “True!” Makino smiles at their charmless reaction. “Listen Luffy…” she put the juice in front of him,”Mrs Makimoto hasn’t gotten fat, and anyways, it’s really rude to say such a thing, she is just pregnant.” The boy frowned:”pregnant?” “Pregnant.”, Shanks confirmed. His deep voice overflowing with conviction, even though he didn’t even knew who Mrs Makimoto was. “Pregnant…” repeated Luffy and after a short pause, “Can...can you eat that?” The whole crew broke into laughter. “Try it, boy.”, Yasopp grinned like no other,” Just try it!” “Luffy.”,Makino looked at the boy,” pregnant means, that Mrs Makimoto gets a baby.” “She…”, the boys face contoured in a strange way of pure concentration,” That means...ahhhh. I know!” “That’s what I want to hear!”, Shanks slapped his shoulder comradely, “finally understood everything?” “OF COURSE!”, Luffy proudly grabbed his chest, “I’m not stupid.” Shanks grinned and moved the bottle back to his lips. It is only his fifth after waking up, he’s far behind his normal dose! “Say...Shanks...?” “Mmh?”, he blubbered with beer filling his mouth. “...do I have to become fat too once I’m pregnant?” At that moment Shanks suddenly felt like choking. “Ugh…” He probably choked a whole two minutes to get the alcohol out of his lungs, before being able to breath again. “You won’t get pregnant, Luffy.”, explained Yasopp calmly while Lucky Roux is still trying to prevent their captain from choking, even though he already stopped… “No need to panic.” “Oh…”, the boy reached for his juice,”sure?” “A 100% boy, I’ll bet my life on it.” “Uhhh…”, he took a sip,” and why won’t I ?” Nobody answered. Luffy looked at Yasopp, who suddenly seemed to be interested in the floor, before starring at Lou who was still hitting Shanks back. “Why not?” Silence. “Shanks?” “Ehm…”, Shanks scratched his neck, “Well...little boy…” He looked around, stopping at Makinos amused face. “Could you help me?” “I?”, she raised her hands,” why me? This sounds like a talk under real men. Am I Right, Luffy?” He nods enthusiastically-even though he didn’t even know what everything was about. She smiled oh so innocently at Shanks, Schadenfreude evident on her face,” Then start, my beloved pirates- please tell Luffy why he won’t be pregnant anytime soon.” Shanks started at her for a few seconds, before his brain even understood what she just said. “Fuck it…”, he mumbled while emptying his bottle. Not even five minutes ago his biggest problem was, if he even managed to lift himself from the stool back to his ship, and now? Now he’s sitting here, with a vice who didn’t had that much fun in a while and two giggling commanders. How was he supposed to tell a little brat like Luffy with big innocent eyes about the birds and bees? It doesn’t happen often but at this moment he hated himself for not having given into his laziness and spent the day sleeping. Yasopps smile grew to an almost scary size:” so... captain...show us what you can do…” “Okay…”, Shanks took a deep breath and waited until Luffy concentrated on him, “now listen… a priest goes into a pub and he sees a blonde, a brunette and a black haired-“ ~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~ “What’s with the rum?”, Shanks opened the door to the bar a bit and raised his voice. “Makino?” “I’m on my way!” He felt way too sober for this. Makino has put him and Luffy together with Benn, Yasopp and Lou into the now empty storage room, after listening to the end of his- to be honest not really family friendly- joke with a growing frown. According to her, they had to stay in there until Luffy knew, that not storks and neither mermaids brought babies. The boy seemed to have the time of his life though. He crouched on one of the shelves-at about the height of Shanks shoulders, who sat on the floor leaning against a wall- letting his legs dangle looking at the men with big eyes, like they’re about to tell him the biggest secret in the world. Yasopp sat in front of them, Lou shared the corner with glasses filled with pickles and Benn leaned with crossed arms against the door (as nonchalant as always). “Okay…”, said Shanks, stressing each syllable, “Gentlemen? Does someone want to start?” He only faced silence. What an ungrateful crew he had, they don’t even know when to help their captain! “Why are we sitting here?” Starts Luffy,” Why’s Makino making such a fuss?” “Well, little boy”, Yasopp sat up,” we’re here because of something really important. Something that’ll change your life forever.” The eyes of the boys lit up,” something secret?” “Something top secret.”, Lou smirked,”secret for all little brats like you. But you’re lucky, because we’ll tell you. But only because you said such a polite “good morning” to our captain!” “Cool!” Again, silence. “So.”, Luffy pleated, “ What is it?” “Look.”, said Shanks, who somehow felt obligated to direct the conversation into a not so bizarre direction,” You know...that little children don’t fall from the sky, right?” Luffy started at him visibly shocked:” of course I know!” “Okay, well...then-“ “Because little children are just grown up babies- that’s how it is!” So far, so bad. Lou almost choked and mumbled something about “him not being wrong” into his nonexisting beard. “Ehm...right. But do you also know that babies don’t fall from the sky?” Luffy tilted his head. “They don’t?”, he asked innocently. “They don’t.”, Benn said with his monotonous voice and deep down, Shanks felt grateful for his interjection-even if it wasn’t all too helpful. “Exactly.”, began Shanks again,” and that’s why… ahem… Mrs Makimoto is pregnant, do you understand?” The boy frowned. “So you want to say..”, he sounded like he didn’t believe anything, ”...that this dumb cow is carrying a baby in her fat belly? A BABY?!” “Yeah.” His brain started rattling. Shanks already expected he would just proclaim that he didn’t believe a word, but Shanks seemed to be wrong. “That’s dope!”, Luffys expression changed between “fascinated” and “unbelievable”. “That means she won’t stay fat?” “No.”, explained Benn patiently,” after some time the child doesn’t want to stay there and wants to go outside.” The eyes of the boy lighted up:” and then they cut her open.”, added Luffy eagerly. “What?!”, Shanks stared at him perplexed, “Why in the whole world would they do that?!” “But how’s the baby supposed to get out, Captain-Know-it-all? Mmh?!” “Stupid question.”, blurted Shanks before thinking about what he’s about to say,” it gets born, that’s obvious! Cutting open the mom, for God’s sake…!” He only realized his tactical mistake once six eyes tried to burn holes into him. “What does that mean, “Being Born”?” Suddenly Shanks knew what he just maneuvered into. “That, ehm...means, that a child come into our world.” “Of course.”, Ruffy started at him in disbelief,” and how does it do it?” “Yeah, Captain”, Yasopp sounded way too amused for his tastes,” how is it supposed to come out?” “It’s easy…”, he played with his hands while searching for the right words,” the...ehm, the mother...knows when the child wants to come out...ehm…” He threw an irritated look at the group, They could at least try to help him. But nobody felt the need to say something. “And the mother lets the baby outside?”, Luffy really tried to learn from Shanks mumbling. Lou sounded like he tries not to choke, while Benn stayed as calm as always:”Exactly.” His eyebrows furrowed:”she can do that?” “Yes.”, hurried Shanks, “yes she can do it. Period.” “Oh, this one just came to my mind.”, interrupted Yasopp, “goes a pregnant women on a bike to the doctor and-“ “Not now.”, growled Shanks- because on one hand he already knows the joke by heart and on the other hand because he wanted to end this conversation, before venturing into dangerous waters. “Okay, Okay.”, Yasopp raises his hands:” how ‘bout this one: four nuns go to heaven and Petrus asks them-“ “Yeah, Yeah.”, Shanks interrupts him,”haha, funny. Everybody laughed. I-“ “Shanks?” Luffy again. “What now?” “So, Mrs Makimoto has the baby in her belly-“ “Exactly.” “But… how-how did it get in there?” “Arghh…!” It happened. It happened and he wanted to throw this topic under the carpet. “Yess Captain… how did the baby get in there?” Suddenly Shanks felt like he needed to choke Yasopp with his bare hands. But instead he looked back at the boy. “It grew in there!” “Just like that?” “Yes. Just like that.” That’s his chance for an easy escape. “But it’s a bit more complicated though. I don’t even want to know when your last time was, Captain, if you don’t even remember the details.” Threw Lou into the conversation, earning an angry stare. “What details?”, Luffy exclaimed with his interest peaking, “Shanks, What kind of details?” Shanks glared at his two commanders with a starte that’s left his enemies shaking. These drunken, useless, ungrateful…! ��So Luffy, Listen: in order for a women to get a baby she needs a bit of...ehm...help beforehand.” “Help?”, the boy tilted his head,”help from whom?” Lou raised himself to his full size despite the pickles blocking his way:”help from a man.” Benn smirked and leaned his head against the wood. “And there was light.” “Heeeehhh?”, Luffy visibly confused,” From a man? Why? What does a man has to do with it?” ~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~ “NO!”, explained Shanks for for the fifth time,”the man does not stuff the baby in there!” You could hear a quiet cough from Yasopp. “But...to be honest… somehow, he does.” “Shut up.”, hissed Shanks. He could explode. He thought of himself as a relaxed man. As far as he’s concerned, he even annoyed the whole world with it- for example when he stayed calm in moments where a bit more concern had its advantages. But at the moment he didn’t feel even the slightest bit of calmness, and what was even worse, he wasn’t even the slightest bit drunk- as if the rum came in no time! The unusual soberness probably fueled his bad mood- “How’s it supposed to work then?” -either that or it’s the fault of this little black haired gnome, who still tries to argue about 8000 years of evolution. “Please god!”, he ripped the straw hat from his head and ran through his hair. “In the name of the seven seas, please help me!” With no immediate reaction he threatened,” this wasn’t a plea.” Yasopp threw a doubting look at him. “Okay…”, he began, hesitating,”well...the thing is…” Lou interrupted him,” I have a comparison for you, boy.” He grinned facing his triumph. “Imagine it as a cooking pot.” A despising huff came from the door. “Ehm…”, Shanks didn’t sounded all too intelligent, “Ehm...what?” “Shhhh.”, hissed Luffy annoyed,” shut up Shanks!” He seemed to be really interested,” What is with the cooking pot?” Lou opened his arms-“imagine.” Throwing in a pause for drama,”...you want to cook something.” “I can’t cook.” Admitted Luffy, irritating Lou for a moment. “Ehm… well, okay, your problem. Still imagine it, okay?” “Aye, aye.” “Good boy… so, when you want to cook something, then everything is supposed to taste good in the end, right?” Luffy nodded eagerly:” I like meat.” Lou waved him off,”whatever… anyways, it’s the same with babies. You need... ehm… certain ingredients to get something good, you understand? Metaphorically speaking… you take a bit of water, a bit of garlic-which you get from the women- and a bit of milk- which you get from the man and then you need a pinch of salt… stir everything, heat it- et voilà! The soup is finished!” He looked at the group searching for recognition, “almost like it is with humans. Remember boy- everything’s like cooking. Only that you’ll burn your fingers more easily…” ~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~ It remained silent for a few seconds. “You…”, observes Benn objectively,” You...just compared human intercourse with cooking garlic soup.” “Yes, and? My comparison fits!” “You…”, repeated Shanks and moved his head back to its place,” You just said fucking is like cooking soup.” “Ehm…”, said Lou hesitating a bit,” again, yes. Yes i did.” Silence fillend the little pantry. Suddenly Shanks started rolling on the floor, filling the room with his hearty laugh. Yasopp jerked upwards, startled by Luffy joining into Shanks laughter. He may not know what’s so funny, but if Shanks thinks it’s funny enough to laugh, it was reason enough- not to mention his problem with staying serious once someone laughs. Outside Makino stopped at the door suprised, before quietly grinning and throwing another shattered glass into the bin. ~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~ It took a whole 10 minutes for Shanks and Luffy to chatch their breaths again. At the same time the seating changed. Yasopp is now sitting on the shelf, Lou’s sitting on the only wooden box he could find, Benn moved down the door and Shanks is now laying across the room- Luffy sitting cross-legged on his broad chest. “So”, summarized he,” Babies grow in the belly of women and they only get there if a men helps them beforehand, right?” Shanks laughed again,” perfect, Luffy!” Yasopp rubbed his hands together,” wonderful! That’s it, I guess we can leave now.” “Shanks?” “What now?” “This whole...soup-story with the baby only works when a men helps a women?” “Yes.” “Does it also work the other way around?” “I doubt it, Luffy.” “Ahh…” “But.”, mumbled Benn absentmindedly, “actually… everyone can try to make a baby. It won’t work, but you can try…” Shanks shifted onto his elbows, trying not to shove Luffy off of him. “How...everyone?” Benn looked up and seemed to have waken up from his deep thoughts. “Well… everyone can.” “Also two men? For example?” A cough from the corner with the pickles filled the room for a second. Every human would’ve turned red with three pairs of eyes starring at them, saying: What the…? But Benn just looked at the wooden floor beneath him, before clearing his throat and giving an almost-smile to Luffy. “I said everyone, little boy… and that’s exactly what I meant.” “Hm.” Luffy seemed to be completely content with the world now- something Shanks and the others didn’t necessarily share. “Tell us, Benn…”, started Lou,” There… isn’t something you want to tell us, right?” Now it’s Benn who’s looking perplexed. “What?” He jumped up to his feet, searching for words, “WHAT?! You...damn! Y’all lost your minds! I-“, he noticed the amused faces. “That were just theories! All theoretically possible answers! Theoretically, understand?” The urge to beat their stupid smirks out of their faces rose. “The child has the right to be informed and anyways-“ “Of course.”, Shanks grinned, “we understand, theoretically.”, he winked at his vice. “Come on Benn, nobody will judge you! You can always-“, he bit his lip suppressing a smile,”... you can tell us everything. You can tell me everything, ol’ buddy- no secrets anymore, how ‘bout that? You don’t even have to-“ “Argh, shut up, you drunk idiots!”. Benn reached for the door nob,”this is like a kindergarten!” “I’m sober, so please watch your mouth!” Yelled Shanks after him, before he shut the door. ~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~ Makino polishes the counter, dodging flying glasses from time to time, before they’d hit the wall. Benn was sitting in his corner again, cigarette hanging from his lips, Yasopp and Lou followed his way. She carefully poured some rum into Shanks glass and there he was- the door of the storage room opened and Shanks marched out of it. Deeply bending under the doorway, so Luffy wouldn’t hit his head sitting on his shoulder. “So.” He announced loudly and in a matter of seconds the whole bar fell quiet. “NOW WHERE’S MY RUM?” She smiled and pointed at the counter. Loud shouts filled the background again, Shanks fell back onto his barstool and Luffy climbed back into ‘his’. The orange juice still untouched. The boy drank like he didn’t drink anything for week, Shanks doing the same next to him, making Makino smile. “So?”, she asked Luffy curiously,” how did it go? Did you learn anything?” The boy nodded, his mouth filled with juice. The glass now empty. She grinned,”tell me.” He gulped down the rest and answered:” women can let their child out of their belly and Benn wants to cook garlic soup with another man.” And this was the second time Shanks terribly choked. End ————- A/N: I just couldn’t stop me from translating this masterpiece. It’s way funnier in german but I tried my best haha… I just had difficulties translating the whole “Kindergarten” stuff and the infamous “na?”-“na.” But I think it could’ve been worse. If you know german please check out the original author, she has even more stories that deserve some recognition!

Author: S_ACD on Animexx

[ciathyzareposts]

Curse of Enchantia – In the nose of madness

Written by Alfred n the Fettuc

Just when I thought this game couldn’t get any weirder, it throws you a curveball and creates the most mindf..king world I’ve seen in a long time. Let’s just say this part of the game would make the island of fairy tales in King’s Quest VI look like a perfectly normal office bullpen. But first things first, I had to reach the next part, which is easier said than done when you’re back in the same town area without any change and no idea on how to progress in the game…

Rejoice citizens! Your savior is back!

The first thing I do is check if the seal is telling me any other clue for my money, but no, it still shows me the fact that I need to get past the guard wearing a pig disguise. I go spend some time in the meat shop, notably trying in some way to interact with anything else, giving more money to the butcher, eating the meat again and again in order, I don’t know… to turn into a pig? It would still not be the most nonsensical thing to do in the game. After running out of options, I decide (with a deep sigh) to try and go back to the cliff in order to give my fire extinguisher to the parrot. Maybe he would give me something else to advance? So I go back to the mage, pay him and… he turns me into a pig.

Insanity : doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

But why? Why would this fraking game do that? Even with the fact that it’s all word-less, surely they could have given me any kind of clue that the wizard dropped the teleport business and went into the pig shapeshifting business? Or they just expect their players to try and go back to the cliff out of boredom like I did. Anyway, counting on player’s boredom doesn’t seem like the cleverest game design idea, but that’s just me.

I guess the pig I’m impersonating must be a big deal among the monsters… probably because of the cool shades.

Passing the beetle guard, I arrive in a new section of the world of Enchantia. The first thing to greet me here is a full rock band of slugs called “The Slugs”.

I prefer the Wolfenstein The New Order pun on the Beatles : Die Kafer

Anyway, despite all the noise the band is trying to make, they still can’t cover the soundtrack of the game, which is a shame. There is some kind of recording device here but I can’t seem to operate it yet. Trying to talk to the band of throwing them some money (or a fire extinguisher) doesn’t work either. On the right of the stage I see a door closed by some kind of card reader, as well as a path going southeast. I finish exploring the screen on the west to find a huge pile of letters, a mailbox, and a huge pile of what appears to be human hair.

Cousin Itt has put on weight…

West of the mailbox, the path seems to be blocked by a constant rain of fireballs so I keep this option for later. I take a letter from the pile as well as a handful of hair (eek). I try to mail the letter but it doesn’t seem to work. Interestingly enough, going back east with the letter in my possession makes it fly back to the pile. Thankfully I can keep the hair. Score! I proceed to explore the path southeast of the Slugs and find a hippie with a boombox next to a dinosaur skeleton, what appears to be a volcano and a crashed plane. The hippie asks me for some music.

Yeah I’m pretty sure you use the same drugs than the guy who designed this screen.

I guess I’ll have to find a tape of some kind and maybe use it to record the Slugs before I can make more progress. I keep going east and find… a giant angry nose, a pile of pens, a pile of socks and different cars piled up in top of each other.

Ok I’m now pretty sure the developers typed random words on a paper and the graphic artists made the best with what they had without asking any questions…

I pick up a pen (which allowed me to understand the pile in question was indeed pens and not used up syringes à la Saw) and a post stamp right next to it. I also pick up a sock (that you can’t pick up unless you go behind the pile of socks… another flawless victory for player-friendly puzzles) and try to give it to the nose or use it on him, but to no avail. I try attacking the nose with everything in my inventory but nothing works so I move on. Going down the stairs on the east brings me to another screen that makes as much sense as the last one.

An aggressive mouth on a pile of cellphones… Dali and Picasso would have loved this game.

I can’t pick up a cell phone probably because the mouth tries to bite me every time I approach it. Once again, I try to attack the mouth with my whole inventory but it doesn’t work. I’ll finish exploring before going back to these random attacking organs. I approach the boat in the back of the screen and see this is the Marie-Céleste, one of the most famous ghost ships in history.

And as in real life, it’s guarded by a robot

Right next to the boat, there is a huge pile of gold coins I can’t seem to take. I try a lot of options on the gold coins and stumble upon a solution a bit by accident. You have to COMBINE the sock with the gold coins in order to take a few coins. You can’t USE the sock on the gold coins, of course, it would be too easy. I will take credit and say I completely did that on purpose because I’m a genius by now and can read through the developers’ twisted logic.

Considering what I was trying to do is combine the sock and the pen, this solution seems more logical in retrospect.

I find a use almost immediately for the sock full of coins because I can attack the robot with it. Interestingly enough, this time the option didn’t work from afar and you really have to be close of the robot for it to work. It’s no big deal but it’s weird a bug from another place in the game is not working here. Maybe every part of the game has been developed by different people not talking to each other? Actually that would explain a lot!

Brad keeps up with the tradition of killing random beings with no reason.

A bit disappointed I can’t take anything in the collapsed robot, I enter the ghost ship. The hull of the ship is crossed by a river I can’t jump across and two boards in the lower corner of the place makes for a straightforward and easy puzzle, which is as mundane as it is relaxing in this game. Pick up the first board / Move near the river / Throw the first board / Pick up the second board / Move on the first board / Throw the second board.

If only it could be only puzzles like this till the end, at least we’d be done quickly.

I am then able to pick up some kind of golden sheet or map or whatever in the back end of the ship.

I mean seriously what is this? A yellow cloth? Baking paper?

I kinda hoped googling the Marie-Céleste wikipedia would maybe give me a clue, considering the Mr Benn reference in the past chapters of the game but turns out the Marie-Céleste was only carrying denatured alcohol when it disappeared so nope… no idea… we’ll call it the gold map for now. Exiting the Marie-Céleste, I find…. A pile of cassette tapes!!! Yay! I’m actually making progress on a puzzle I know about!

With a pile this size, hopefully we’ll finally be able to listen to something good.

I grab a cassette tape and exit left to find myself back to the Nose and cars screen. I now have a tape and a stamp in my possession so hopefully I’ll be able to make some progress in the entrance screen of the area. I go back to the Slugs stage. On my way there I try to give the tape to the hippie but, as foreseen, he doesn’t want it and asks for music on the tape. Once near the Slugs, I eagerly put my cassette in the audio recording device. Neat!

No Stairway to Heaven, guys.

And… and… and nothing happens. I can’t get my tape back and it doesn’t seem to record, or if it is recording, nothing seems to happen for a while. I wait a bit. I try other things, including throwing money at the band again just in case they’re not actually playing but rehearsing and I need to make them start playing somehow but nothing happens. I try using the hair on the console just in case it’s actually wires and not hair (I’ve been confused several times by these icons, I’m not letting that happen again) and the console needs to be wired, but it doesn’t work. I spend some more quality time yelling “Hi” and “Help” at the Slugs then move on to the post box. I pick up the envelope on the ground, put the stamp on it and post it. That’s a job well done!

I kinda hoped it would make something else happen though…

So yeah. I just put my letter in the post box and nothing else seems to have happened. Yay. I then proceeded to go west in order to face the fire storm.

Forecast for today on Enchantia : fire showers are expected through Wednesday morning.

I then encounter a facepalm moment : you can actually cross the fire rain. Brad may receive one fireball or two, resulting in him being burned to a crisp, but nothing he can’t shake off and keep going.

That’s a resilient protagonist, I’ll give him that.

Simply crossing the fire rain for the rest of the screen, I’m able to grab what appears to be a silver tray of some kind and jump down a cliff… to get back to the mouth-protected pile of cellphones.

Okay, so I’ll fast-forward a little bit in order to save you time and I’ll skip to the part I actually found some solutions to the puzzles. Needless to say it involved way too long time and a LOT of cursing and profanity. The first solution I practically stumbled upon is what I needed to do with the nose. I needed to INSERT the hair into his nostril so he’d eject himself out of the screen by sneezing. Pretty obvious and the thing that annoys me is that I’m pretty sure I tried it several times earlier but it didn’t work. The main problem is still with the interface where I randomly need to USE or GIVE or COMBINE or UNLOCK or INSERT two things and only one option works and I often walk away sure I tried everything. Anyway, inserting the hair into the nose works here and is pretty obvious in retrospect.

Watch out! It’s gonna sneeze!

I soon realize that making the nose go away also removed the mouth on the other screen. I’m guessing these random moving organs are connected in some way which makes some kind of sense but not too much (as the rest of the game does) and get myself a nice cellphone. Then I proceed to wander another long time trying to do a lot of things on another lot of things but I can’t seem to do anything with the cellphone. Then it occurs to me it might not be a cellphone but might be related to the recording device and I finally manage to make the recording device works! It seems it was not a cellphone but a remote control of some kind.

Thank you boys, now get out of there, the next band needs the studio.

The thing is : I spent a LOT of time managing to do that. You have to be in a very specific post and then PUSH the remote in your inventory. You can’t use the remote on the machine, combine the two or it doesn’t work if you’re not in the good spot. The worst thing about all of this is that I’m not even sure that’s the reason why I needed several tries to make all of this work. It might also be that you need to do all this in a very specific order. It might explain why every time I successfully do something, I’m sure I tried doing the exact same thing a few hours ago and it didn’t work. Then again, it’s also possible I just missed the exact command to put in when I tried making it work the first time… anyway it leads to more frustration than any feeling of success to complete anything in this game. But moving on. I bring the tape to the hippie and I suddenly realize he now had a letter in his hand, probably the one I sent earlier.

Ok so your postal address is “the hippie with the boombox near the cave west of the dinosaur skeleton?”. Pretty efficient post-office service in Enchantia!

I give him the tape and he gives me the letter before leaving. The letter contains a keycard. I try not to think too much about why I needed to send the letter to some random dude instead of opening it myself in the first place and I’m just pleased I now have two more things to try. I enter the cave and find nothing but a huge pile of rocks covering a hole of some kind. I try several things that don’t work (as usual) and go back to the door with the keycard slot near the Slugs.

Nice hut you got there, dude.

Opening the door, I fall down on some clouds. There is a little bag on the right of the cloud but every time I try and reach it, the wind blows me away.

Can’t… quite… reach… bag… gaaaaaaaaah.

After a few unsuccessful tries, I go through the cloud and land near the Slugs again. I don’t quite get the spatial disposition of the place… is the door a teleporter of some kind? Does it make sense to fall down on what appears to be a very high cloud only to fall back again at the exact same place afterwards? I guess that’s Enchantia’s famous coherent world building at work once again.

Turns out the solution to this puzzle is a pretty simple one. You need to walk to the opposite end of the cloud for the wind to blow you back in the middle and use the momentum to walk as far right as possible before being blown away once again. A few tries and I manage to grab the bag.

It’s one of those famous fabric bags that look yellow from afar but are grey in reality.

And that’s about it. I’m once again back to square one with a new random item in my possession. I was hoping the bag was containing explosive or something equivalent that would allow me to open the stone wall in the cave but it doesn’t seem to. Once again, I find the solution out of sheer luck/persistence because it seems you need to yell “HELP” for the wall to collapse.

Once again, it seems kinda logical after the fact but it’s almost impossible to find if you don’t try everything everywhere.

Oh and behind the wall lies not an exit but some kind of soda bottle. I eagerly pick it up and try to mix it with everything else in my inventory as per tradition. Nothing works so I exit the cave… and find myself in front of a magical appearing door!

You have picked up five random items. You are now allowed to continue the game.

Ok. I’m sorry but I have to ramble a bit there. What is the purpose of all this? I have five random items in my inventory that did find no purpose yet : a pen, a gold map, a silver tray, a bag full of something and a soda bottle. I’m guessing that the door appears only when you have the needed items to continue (Actually I don’t have to guess, I tried reloading a save, do the same things without picking up the silver tray and the door doesn’t appear). On one hand, it avoids dead-ends : you are required to have the needed items to continue, but on the other hand… my, my, what a terrible, terrible puzzle design. I didn’t accomplish anything! I just picked up random items until something happens! It’s probably on page one of the list of cardinal sins of bad adventure game designs! I won’t ramble too long on this. As Michael, Laukku and ATMachine referred to last week, this discussion has already been addressed on the Adventure Gamer, but it’s sooooo infuriating. I hate you so much, game. So much.

So kids, don’t forget : this is the exact combination of reagents you need to make a door appear in Enchantia.

I pass the bloody door and enter one single room with a death trap protecting an electric fan!

Electric fans seem to be very precious in Enchantia.

The whole ordeal from there is pretty easy because you can’t exit the room so you have only your items to try and nowhere else to go. And that’s a good thing because… well I’ll just bullet point the steps to the solution. Needless to say all of this was managed out of sheer brute force. No logic was involved here. Just look at that :

You have to THROW the soda bottle (or whatever that is). It creates a stain on the north wall.

You have to PUSH the golden map. It creates a switch on the stain.

PRESS the switch to open the… wait…

Yeah, no, I can’t go on, I have to stop there : WHAT? Okay, for now a lot of puzzles made some sense at least in retrospect after the fact, but… WHAT? The fact that Brad puts himself in front of you before doing anything on the back wall doesn’t help because you can’t see what he is doing. So I tried very hard to make some sense. I’m guessing the bottle is in fact a solvent of some kind and the gold map is in fact a rag and that I need to clear the wall in order to make a switch appear but… is there ANY way to make this more obscure?

Maybe mixing soda and gold creates a perfectly functioning light switch in Enchantia?

Okay, Alex Romanov or anyone else knowing this game… just please help me make some sense here? I don’t have any other explanation here. Maybe the developers were way past the point of “don’t give a frack anymore” and just put random solutions to the puzzles in order to call it a day, but this is probably one of the most obscure and stupid puzzles I’ve ever seen. Thank Almighty Adventure Gods it all takes place on a single screen with nowhere else to go or it would be completely and utterly unsolvable…

Anyway, moving on, after having opened the portcullis, you throw the content of the cloud bag (which turn out to be marbles) on the electrified floor then throw the silver tray to surf on the marbles.

Yay! Marble surfing! Look at how much fun Brad is having!

Then I get the fraking fan, open the fraking door by once again unlocking it with the paperclip and we’re back near the village!

What were the chances this big metal door would lead here?

And that��s where I’ll stop. 79% complete, at least we’re getting near the end… I seriously think every wannabe adventure game developer must play Curse of Enchantia at least once in order to learn all that needs to be avoided. This game is crazy! I’m now very eager to see where it ends but still frightened about roadblocks. But after all I managed to get this far, I don’t think any more nonsensical puzzle can stop me now… From where I stand, next post will be either a WON status or a I BROKE MY COMPUTER WITH A HATCHET AND GOT COMMITTED status. Let’s find out together next week!

Session time : 2 hours Total time : 8 hours 30 minutes Inventory : Bag of money, Match, Fire Extinguisher, Pen, Electric Fan Score : 381 Percentage complete : 79%

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/curse-of-enchantia-in-the-nose-of-madness/

[hockey-yesplease]

Pre-Med? 1/?

Player Tyler Seguin (DAL Stars) mentions Jamie Benn and Brett Ritchie

Warnings: Cursing (I think that’s it)

Wow count: 1242

Requested? Yes, by @slutforseguin no prompt so I hope you enjoy this! I had a lot of fun writing this one:)

Gif by: stanleycup

A/N: Y’all let me know if you want a part two to this! I hope you all enjoy it. I am still taking request so just drop by my ask box!:)

You were sitting having a drink at a local Dallas bar after your shift; you were volunteering at the local hospital since you need more hours for when you started applying to medical schools. This shift had seemed to last forever and you still needed to study for you summer term courses, but you were mentally drained. You were still is the scrubs that you had to borrow from a friend of yours because yours had vomit from a patient and your jacket. You were just sitting here listening to the music as it played when a tattooed arm appeared beside you; looking to your left you saw that a man had sat down beside you and was looking at you. You obviously recognized him, how could you not? He is a Star and you live in Dallas, and you weren’t going to deny that you knew of him due to his looks and skill on the ice. You were a big hockey fan, and had been your whole life. You lift your head to look at him and he was already looking at you. “Long day?” he asks genuinely. “You have no idea.” “Try me, what happened today?” “Well I start my shift and the first thing that happens is I get thrown up on. Then I was informed that there was a missing patient from the Psych floor. Then I get the lovely duty of watching over a C-diff patient.” “Damn, are you a doctor?”

“Eventually”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” “I’m a pre-med student at Baylor University.” “Oh uhm, are you supposed to be here?” “I’m 21 if that’s what you’re asking.” You say as you start to laugh. “Oh well, that’s good. I’m Tyler by the way. Tyler Seguin.” “I’m Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N. And don’t worry, I know of you. So no need for the ‘I play for the Dallas Stars’ thing.” Tyler laughs and says, “I like you. You’re chill.” “Thanks? I’m not sure if that’s a complement or not.” You say as you laugh. Laughing with Tyler seems so easy, and honestly, you’d like to get to know him more. “What are drinking?” “Just Redd’s. But I’ll get it.” Nonsense,” Tyler waved the bartender over “A Redd”s for the Tired student please. Oh and put it on my tab.” “You didn’t need to do that Tyler.” “It’s the least I could do for the future doctor.” Tyler says as he smirks. “Well thank you again.” You turn as you hear Tyler’s name been called and see Jamie Benn and Brett Ritchie waving him back over to their table. “Tyler your friends are calling for you.” “Come sit with us. You’re too pretty to be up here by yourself.” This made you nervous as you became aware of the age difference.

“ No, no it’s okay. I don’t want to intrude.” “I insist, Y/N, come on. It’ll be fun.” You sigh, “Alright, but I can’t stay long. I have to study.” The two of you make your way over to the table; when you get there Tyler introduces you. “Hey guys, this is Y/N, she knows who you guys are, but don’t worry she isn’t crazy.” You shake their hands, “Well, depends on your definition of ‘crazy’.” You state as you laugh a little. “Nice to meet you Y/N.” Jamie says. “Just get off work?” You sigh, “Well kind of, I had a volunteer shift at the hospital today after my class this morning.” “Class?” Brett asks with a confusion expression. “Uhm yeah, I’m a pre-med student at Baylor University.” “Oh wow, you’re young then.” Jamie says while eying Tyler. Tyler rolls his eyes, “Don’t worry Chubbs, she’s 21.” Jamie nods weirdly, “I see.”

Feeling uncomfortable, you yawned, “Well, I need to get home. I have studying that I have to take care of.” “Aw, alright. It was nice to meet you Doc, I hope to see you again.” Brett says nicely. You laugh at the new nickname you’ve been assigned Jamie is still acting weird, “Yeah, good to meet you.” Standing up you take off your jacket, since its like a sauna outside, revealing the bottom portion of your floral tattoo sleeve. “Here, Y/N I’ll walk you out.”

You and Tyler make your way outside to your car. “Thanks for walking me and my drink.” “It’s my pleasure Y/N.” You watch him as he kicked at a rock that was near his feet. “You, okay Tyler?” “Oh- uhm- yeah. I’m good. I have a question actually.” You lift your head to meet his gaze, “What’s up Ty?” He smiles slightly as he hears his nickname come from your lips. “Would it be alright if I ask for your number? You seem really great and I’d like to see you again.” “I wouldn’t mind.” You say as you smirk. You turn to open the door and get in. “Y/N?” Smirking slightly before you turn around. Turning you see Tyler’s confused face and you see his phone in his hand as if he’s holding it out to you. “Well, you asked if you could ask for my number. You never actually asked.” Tyler smirks that devilish smirk of his once again and you almost melt, but you somehow keep your composure. “Dr. Y/N, would you do me the honors of giving me your number so I can see you again soon?” “Well, Mr. Seguin, today’s your lucky day. I’m feeling awfully giving today.” You say as you take the phone from his out stretched had. You put your number in and save it as “Doc”. Tyler laughs as you hand him the phone back and sees they name. “You better put it to use soon before I forget who you are.” You say with a wink. “Oh, I plan to Y/N you can count on that. And maybe you can show me the rest of your sleeve.” You smirk once again, “Only if you’re lucky Seguin.” You say as you reach up to plant a soft kiss to his cheek. You leave him standing there as you get in your car and start the 10 minute drive to your apartment.

You park your car and grab your backpack from the back seat and walk through the front of your apartment building. No sooner than you shut the door, set your bag down, and take your shoes off your phone goes off.

Unknown:

“I hope you didn’t forget about me already.”

You have the idea to let him sweat a little before replying, so you go shower and get your things ready at your desk to start studying for the night. 30 minutes later you finally reply.

Doc:

“Oh how could I forget?”

Seguin:

“Oh thank god, I was starting to think you gave me a fake number.”

Doc:

“Now why would I have done that?”

Seguin:

“Idk maybe I didn’t charm you enough😉”

Doc:

“Lucky for you, I was quite charmed. Now I need you to let me be so I can focus on my studying.”

Seguin:

“Sure thing sweets. But first, how about lunch tomorrow? If yes, send me your address and ill be there at 12:30😉”

You think for a minute and decide that there’s no harm so you send the address.

“Here goes nothing” You say as you look at your cat before returning to your studies.

[purghhappenings]

I LOVE your hc on shanks×mihawk! (I think their ship name is akataka??) and yes, it killed me that there is so little content about this ship. So can you do another hc on them but like, from the red haired pirates' POV? Like ben saw shanks with heart eyes staring at mihawk and he was like "oh crap" Thanks!

AhhhhH!!!!!!!!! It is akataka and if you search that your world will open up like mine did, alright we’re going to be going from basically Shanks and Mihawk first meeting to them developing over the years and i totally hope you like this cause I’ve been so excited to write about this all day. (This is kind of in the POV also kinda third person?? I’m so sorry if it sucks) 

I’m also putting this under the cut

Benn Beckman was usually a man of few words, and thankfully he had just the right amount of words for this situation. “What in God’s name were you thinking?!” -The next day after an entire town was leveled due to two pirates clashing

The day had started pretty normal, it was their captains birthday so naturally a party was held

They had stopped at a relatively calm Grand line island, rumors of a man with a permanent glare on his face reached the crew but “what does that matter, its my birthday”  -Shanks before Benn murdered him.

Luck be thy name, the permanent glare guy was at the fucking bar as the red haired pirates.

To this day both gentlemen refuse to admit they were too stupid to admit their undying lust and then love

Shanks: definitely love at first sightMihawk: It was something at first sight yeahYassop: murder at first sight

One wrong look turned Dracule “Hawk-eyes” Mihawk into a murderous heathen 

To this day Benn loses his shit because Mihawk thought Shanks wanted to pick a fight with how hard the guy was glaring at him but Shanks, in all of his glory, *cough* idiocy *cough* was completely and utterly star struck.

Benn: to most he looks constipated and severely confused but to us he still looks that way but it means he likes someone

Lucky Roo: My favorite part was they both didn’t know how to handle their obvious attraction and chose to have a fucking brawl in the bar

No, not with swords, even though they’re both swordsman I’m talking throwing punches and each other over shit

This went on for several years. For years they hated one another which the government of course tried to play up because of Shanks being an emperor and everytime his picture was shown Mihawk just fucking left(kinda like War of the Best, that motherfucker went nyoom)

Finally, they of course meet again on the same day, and Shanks has recovered enough brain cells that he shares with Buggy to start actively flirting with the terror known as Mihawk.

Eventually MIhawk gets so frustrated that he finally shouts “Why must you consistently appear on my birthday?!”

And like a fucking lightbulb every. single. red haired pirate crew member took a moment of silence for mihawk.

Shanks: Its your birthday?! -Said with a shit eating grinMihawk: What of it??Red Haired Pirates: Oh no.Shanks: Oh. Yes.

That was the last day Dracule “Hawkeyes” Mihawk ever had a cruise around the grandline in peace

Shanks at some point during this: he fucking enjoys it at this pointBenn marking down in a notebook: mihawk could be a masochist which is the least shocking thing our idiot captain has told about him

After the initial them wanting to absolute bang murder each other, they did start a bit slow because mihawk was a brick on the brake.

Or a total downer depending on which person you asked

A general consensus is Mihawk is the dumbest smart man they know because Shanks is fucking crazy and at least he had enough hindsight to say “I’m not getting out of this unless he dies or I do” and though he tried at first he realized some levels of crazy could not be killed

He seems pretty emotionless but Benn has never feared for his captains life more than when they met up after Shanks lost his arm and Mihawk almost slaughtered him, his crew, and half of the grandline

After Mihawk learned the story he said no kid is ever worth a limb, then he met his two children Perona and Zoro and his adopted son Luffy and dammit he would give up a limb for them too 

Benn has never feared for Mihawks life more than when Mihawk told Shanks he had gone after Luffy(in hindsight it was to keep other warlords off of him, but also to see what the kid was made of) Shanks was a momma bear and Mihawk actually disappeared for a few days 

Which also went into the notebook that has the affectionate title “Our Dumb Captain and his Somehow Slightly Dumber Boyfriend” Or the ODCAHSSDB because Shanks and Mihawk almost figured out it existed and Yassop was quick to make them confused cause honest to god try saying ODCAHSSDB a few times like(i can barely type it)

The Red Haired Pirates did. Not. Approve. At first. They had good points like

  He’s tried to kill you

he’s a warlord

he’s trIED TO KILL YOU

HE’S A WARLORD WHO IS TOTALLY AGAINST YOU

They effectively fell on deaf ears because there were actual fucking hearts in his eyes.

They warmed up to the idea pretty fast when they realized mihawk wasn’t psychotic like their captain oh my god an actual fucking playing piece Benn is not afraid to admit he’s called Mihawk on Shanks when his captain is being unreasonable and wont listen

Mihawk will not hesitate to admit to calling Benn when Shank’s is being a little shit and he doesn’t have the time what do you mean Zoro’s lost he said he was going to the bathroom

They are allies and powerful ones at that, especially when both Benn and Mihawk get called because Shanks is being one giant little shit

Yassop; We’ve only ever had to call them together twice, but the one time Captain got so drunk he wanted to burn Marie Jois to the ground and while we’d love to do that, we. just. can’t.Lucky Roo: It was fucking hilarious I’ve never seen captain more afraid and unfortunately turned on in his life and I can’t get the image out of my head

Nobody is not saying Akataka is kinky but you do the math 

They’ve had more ups than they’ve had downs because of how well they mesh, where Mihawk doesn’t want to sympathize Shanks is there to sympathize and when Shanks is too involved Mihawk works well as an anchor-Rockstar at some point being so drunk explaining to random people

Over the twenty or so years Mihawk and Shanks have known and been together the Red Haired Pirates have seen them fight only one time. And they regret to inform you it was not over something difficult.

It was how to pronounce Donquixote Doflamingo while drunk which spiraled into Luffy and Law purposefully mispronouncing his name 

That is unfortunately the best fight Yassop has got to witness

LR: Shanks tried to fuck with Mihawk when I asked for the salt by trying to hand him over, but Mihawk had to have been expecting it because three seconds later and captain was in my lap

Shanks is a hopeless romantic, the hopeless part about it is he doesn’t know how to be romantic while all it takes from Dracule is him stopping by on his coffin boat and a rose and Shanks cannot function for three days

They’re very domestic which is odd for a band of pirates to see because when they shop together its as people not as two feared pirates

It was very unsettling.

As it was said, they didn’t like the warlord much, then realized he was an ally, but now he’s more of a family member. They all joke and tease him, sometimes if Shanks is busy they’ll call to just check up especially if they hear the world government is doing some shady shit(especially after moria)

No, now Mihawk is unfortunately(to his ego) almost considered a redhaired pirate just to a point of “No he’s not officially with us but cross him and you’ve crossed us”

After Shanks lost his arm Mihawk slaughtered several schools of sea kings out of spite -Yassop trying to spread that around on various islands 

OKAY!

I’m so sorry if this is terrible, I’d like to blame wine but I really can’t I haven’t ever written HC’s like this before more of my POV with various feat. Of what I imagine the characters to be saying so I really hope you like it(if not you may stone me or challenge me to a Davy Back Fight)

My inbox is always open so hit me up with more requests!!!! I’m always bored and loving talking you guys so thank you for the ask and I seriously hope you enjoy it!!!!