#listen is he writing sad boy poetry in his book? yes

[wolvesandshine]

Regulus Black being an emo writer and being a jock are two things that can and should coexist

[dreambranding]

Rain anon if you don't mind

I went and read the monologue you mentioned. Genuinely love the writing there. Honestly it's low-key so c!dream coded, with the stuff he was saying to Tommy in the prison

And do not worry, Dream is such a fun villain and it's gonna be fun seeing different interpretations of him. I'm gonna be honest I never really analyzed him much just cause I was way more focused on tommy and Wilbur. (I have some hot takes on him that will anger the masses kekw)

I wish so hard that dream has built his character up a little earlier cause like man is he interesting. Especially the way they used the very beginnings of the smp, at a time before cannon was even a thought in the wind to show more of an evolution than we really thought

And ok, I'm actually in love with so many of the monologues they said during the SMP. Wilbur by far and away having my favorites during the pogtopia era. But Dream's during the disc finale. It hit me in all the right ways. Like, he nailed the tone and the inflections and the way he was so cocky and like djdjsnwn.

And also that's one where I love to bring in the meta

Cause like, great verbiage aside. That monologue was low-key the first time it was obvious the cc's were listening to the fans

So many fan interpretations were canonized there. Tommy's power and how his attachments dictated the tides of the server, dreams obsession with control and so many other things. As a fan who had been more than knee deep into the lore at the time, hearing it was amazing because it felt like dream was acknowledging us and actively encouraging us

And not to bash them because I love all the cc's so much. But aside from a few of them, they weren't really storytellers. I could go into the meta of mcyt and how they as a generation influenced the next wave of mcyt but the current wave of mcyt does what they lacked and that is making epics out of nothing (and yes there's a new gen of mcyt don't open that can of worms unless you're feeling brave)

The dsmp people had a few captains and definitely a lot of creativity but in the best way possible it was a give and take relationship where the creators would do something random and the fans would then build on it and then the cc's would see that and smoothly incorporate that.

And I'm not saying we wrote the characters, cause we didn't. But they did these broad strokes and we helped them fill in the finer details. That's just how improv works, a team effort from everyone involved.

So much of the smp was accidental and I don't think they thought of the lore the same we we did and I have no doubt that that monologue is the manifestation of that

(also yes, when there was no more lore I went down the path of then choosing to analyze the fandom itself and oh man oh man. Sorry I am like, 8 levels of insane for block men and block game)

🌧️

cdreamie my most beloved crazypants guy the way you can see him spiral into his doom is so fucking awesome. To me. and the decision of ccDream not to stream to not steal views being translated into nobody knowing his intentions ughhhhh sorry i can talk ages about him o(-( my boy

i wish i knew where the monologues are transcribed bcs i know they are and sometimes i'd just like to reread them for the fun of it, like one would a book . i think they could be kinda charming at the beginning when they really didn't know well the improv thing and would just say shit and then reporpuse said stuff with a deeper meaning it was AWESOME

i wanna know your hot takes about cCrimeboys. in a different turn of events i didn't care for them much post doomsday, idk, i felt sad but that's about it. i would always see people waxing poetry about them and like i love that for them !! just not my thing

Cause like, great verbiage aside. That monologue was low-key the first time it was obvious the cc's were listening to the fans

YES this is something i clearly remember, that wink to the audience in a way that said — we see what you're doing, we like it, keep going, and that translated into so many iconic moments; i guess that's like the main consequence of being so closely interwined with their fandom (idk i think it was a bit of a interesting decision in general terms and i don't know if i liked how it ended up making some people feel like entilted to an ending they wanted, you know? it's a complex issue. it was cool and then it wasn't).

and yeah i get you, mcyt has been a fascination of mine for a while, kinda the reason i'm studing anthropology! digital anthropology offers many windows in this age where older academia/just normal older folks don't know how to navigate the internet and their subcategories, not the way content creators are forced to learn. it's p interesting!!

[rostovs-lover]

dalí on tuesday

charlie dalton x reader | cursing, smoking, brief mentions of sexual things, charlie (probably) has daddy issues, cameron | she/her pronouns | fluff | wc.2562

i am in love with charlie, this is now a charlie dalton centric blog, also ignore how terrible the title is please

anon : Hi!! I love your blog! can I request a charlie Dalton x reader fluff where reader is an artist and he visits them while they're painting? (maybe they end up wiping paint on his face?) I don't know, something really sweet at cute <33333

Charlie Dalton had been resigned to relish in small pleasures to keep himself sane at school, never did he think the library would be one of those. More specifically, the painter tucked into the basement of the library. 

                            ───☮︎───

     Charlie Dalton was a connoisseur of many things. Pretty girls, expensive wine, shitty poetry, and hand rolled cigarettes - to name a few. His imprisonment at Wellington made only one of those things readily available. So he settled - boxes of cheap smokes bought through upperclassmen, bottles of grocery store wine someone would sneak in from a party, and the two girls that occasionally came with Knox. The shitty poetry was always on deck, he had that at least. It was a tragedy to be resigned to such a bland life, there was absolutely no carpe diem-ing happening in a school that held adolescent boys to uniforms.

      It was miserable, truly, but Charlie scrapped by on the thought that soon enough there would be no more stuffy Catholic school and he could finally have a taste of freedom. In the meantime, he would have what little fun he could. The meets in the cave were always the highlight of the week. A place where he could talk and people would listen, and not because they had to but because they enjoyed it. They enjoyed his words and thoughts and presence. No one else had ever really seemed to enjoy Charlie’s presence. They could tolerate it, handle it, but they always had more pressing matters. A business meeting to attend, a bill to pay, a dinner to go to. Always something just a little bit more important and never quite enough time for Charlie. But the other Dead Poets, they valued him. He wasn’t just a kid, a college tuition to pay and a life to layout. He was a person, with interests and hobbies.

      It had been there, in the safe haven of the cave, that the idea for the library first came up. Meeks had already talked Pitts into coming, Neil didn’t take much convincing at all, Todd was also easy to lure, Cameron groaned about leaving school grounds but refused to be left out, and Knox agreed to go but only if Nuwanda came too. Charlie had already started to cover what there was to do at a library, read?

      Meeks dove into the technical manuals and Pitts followed tentatively, cradling their science project in his arms. Todd had followed Neil to the S authors, Cameron was trying to chat up the woman at the register, and God only knew what Knox was doing. He had been stranded with few options. He could find the geniuses and be talked over for the next hour or third wheel Neil but that guaranteed intruding on something he probably shouldn’t. The polite thing to do would be to rescue Cameron from making a complete fool of himself, throwing bad pick up lines at a clearly uninterested college student, but it was amusing to watch.

      Charlie settled on trying to find Knox, at least then he could have some company. Said company was absolutely nowhere to be found. The rows of shelves wound in a confusing maze and Charlie was lost before he could even begin to look. Weaving around he did come face-to-face with a rather large picture of Charles Dickens that made him recoil. It was perched just at eye level above a short staircase and it seemed to judge his every movement. Charlie followed the carpeted stairs down to escape Mister Dickens’ strange little beard and beady black eyes.

      The further down the steps Charlie descended the brighter it appeared. The lower level was the children’s section. Considerably more fun than science books or Shakespeare. The big oak counter was abandoned but the lights were still on. He was alone, still.

      Charlie sighed, sitting down in one of the bright red wooden chairs. He was much too big for it but it held well under his weight. A sad stuffed bear stared dully into him from the green glossy table.

      “Well hello,” He mumbled, picking it up under the arms, “And you must be?” He cleared his throat to take on a gruff baritone, “Mister... Bearington,” Charlie sighed, that was bad. He dropped the bear into his lap, “This is so stupid,”

      “Bearington?”

      Charlie shot around in the chair, tipping himself off center and stumbling to his feet, bear still clutched in his arms, “Where the hell did you come from?”

      “A few blocks over, walked here actually.” You turned back to your work. A painting. Not just a painting, Charlie realized, a mural. It stretched the length of the wall, roughly sketched in pencil and waiting to be finished.

      He blinked, “That’s good. The wall I mean,”

      “Thank you,” Your face flustered and Charlie took notice, “It’s not much of anything yet, just an outline. It’ll look better painted.”

      He took a few steps closer, sidling up to you, “What’s it supposed to be?”

      “A forest,” You pointed to a rotund blob perched on a long line, “That’s an owl, and there’s going to be a fox somewhere down in the grass,”

      Charlie grinned, “That’s an owl?”

      “That-” you tapped the blob, “Is a shape, objectively. Subjectively, it’s an owl.”

      His brow creased, “Subjectively it’s an owl? That's like saying Mister Bearington is a rabbit, subjectively,”

      You stared at him, baffled. It was almost irritating that he could so casually come down to your domain and invade your creative bubble. And it was even worse that he talked to himself as a stuffed bear but now he was challenging your judgment on what was and was not subjectively an owl. But he had a wonderful smile and it lessened the intrusion. Plus, you had never seen a teenage boy develop an attachment to a stuffed bear as quickly as he had, “What’s your name?”

      “Nuwanda,” He grinned, setting his chin atop his bear’s plush head.

      “Nuwanda?” You blinked at him, “That’s… neat. I’ve never heard that before.”

      “What can I say? The only Nuwanda this side of Vermont. What’s your name?”

      As you opened your mouth to answer several sets of footsteps thundered down the stairs. Knox spun around the corner first, closely followed by Pitts and Meeks.

      “Charlie!” Knox called, “We gotta go before Cameron proposes to the clerk.”

      You looked at the boy in front of you, “Is Charlie short for Nuwanda, or just a nickname?”

      He shrugged, “I’m Nuwanda, subjectively. It was truly a pleasure meeting you. Can’t wait to see your thing DaVinci!” He set the stuffed bear back on the table as he made his way out of the room. With Charlie’s energy gone it became much quieter and you were plunged back into the impressionistic outline of your artwork.

      The next time a library trip was suggested Charlie didn’t completely dread it. Yes, it was still numbingly boring because it was a library and he didn’t have clerks to fall in love with, people to write love letters to, anyone to kiss in the aisles, or a spaceship to build, but he did have his own personal Van Gough to torment.

      The lower level was the first place he went, not even hanging his coat on the rack inside the big double doors. He made his way past Cameron’s preoccupied receptionist and under Dickens’ hard glower. Halfway down the steps, the smell hit Charlie. Wet paint.

      You had just picked out a brush when he pulled one of the wooden chairs next to your station. He sat in it backwards, holding Mister Bearington out in front of him, “Never got your name Monet,”

      “Well, it's not that. Or Da Vinci.” You stroked the brush up the grassy outline.

      “Do you want me to guess?”

      You had yet to look at him, “Nope,”

      “Are you gonna tell me?”

      “Should I?”

      “Obviously, I told you my name.”

      You set the brush down and turned to face him, “(Name).”

      “Pretty,”

      Charlie Dalton liked many things and the musty old library uptown had never been one of them. It had ancient red carpets and gaudy gold ceilings and it was trying too hard to look regal. So it was a sheer shock when he began to leap at the suggestion of going and even more so when he chose to go by himself one afternoon. Naturally, the other poets followed him, they had to.

      Charlie didn’t dally upstairs, waving hi to the clerk and rushing down to the children’s section. A sign was posted outside the entrance warning of wet paint but he stepped around it.

      “You’re making progress Picasso!” He set his hands on his hips and took in the wall.

      You turned back to look at him, “Did you not see the caution: wet paint, do not enter sign?”

      “Oh no I saw it,” He pushed his sunglasses up on top of his head, “It's bright orange, hard to miss, really,”

      “So you just chose to ignore it?”

      He nodded, making his way over to sit by you on the ground, “I choose to ignore lots of things, it really makes life easier,”

      You shook your head, “Are you just going to sit here and bother me?”

      “Yes, that's actually the whole reason I came today, believe it or not.”

      You blubbered in vague disbelief, “Please tell me you’re not serious,”

      “Dead serious,” Charlie grinned, leaning closer, “I had to see how your weird owl was going. And also make sure you hadn’t gone mad and cut your own ear off yet,”

      “You’ve already used the Van Gogh joke, Charles,”

      “Maybe I want your ear,”

      You paused, “You… what?”

      Charlie’s confidence cracked, “That was bad. Shit, that wasn’t supposed to sound that way. It was like, a bad pickup line? Because Van Gogh cut his ear off to send to his girlfriend,” He sighed, shaking his head, “Sorry,”

      “I mean if I had to pick someone to give my ear too I guess you would be my first choice?”

      Charlie looked at you, eyebrows pinched together, “Why?”

      You shrugged, “No one else has asked, first come first serve.” You dipped your brush back into the blue paint and went to work on a patch of flowers.

      “Huh, well I do appreciate it,” Charlie scooted closer, leaning over your shoulder. He was close, very close. When you took a breath you could smell his cologne and whatever it was he used in his hair and you could feel the edge of his sunglasses brush your ear. He brought an arm around to dip his finger into the soft sky colour on your palette. And then he wiped it on your nose.

      You gasped sharply at the foreign feeling, snapping your head to the side to glare at him, “Why?!”

      Charlie snickered, leaning back, “The opportunity presented itself, how could I just let that pass?”

      You reached back, squirting a touch of purple paint over the palm of your hand, “That was truly a horrible idea,”

      Charlie shot up just as you did, stumbling backwards, “I’m sorry-” He stuck his hands up in surrender, “I regret my actions and if I could take them back I would,”

      “Hmm, but you can’t” You took a step closer, “Surrender now and it doesn’t have to get any messier than this,”

      He pointed towards your paint coated hand, “Do not,”

      You grinned, “I might,”

      “I’m begging,”

      “Fine-” You offered him your other hand, “Truce?”

      Charlie mulled it over for a moment, “Fine, truce,” He grabbed your clean hand and you used it to pull him towards you.

          “Why on earth would you trust me?” You tugged him even closer as he shrieked and smeared your hand down his cheek, “There, now we’re even,”

      Getting distracted by your triumph gave Charlie the upper hand. He pulled you to him the same you had done to him and pressed his cheek flush to yours. The paint was cold against your skin and you jolted back, away from him.

      “Vile,” You hissed, “You are vile and evil. That's so cold. You will pay, I hope you know that.”

      Charlie snorted, “Oh please, what’re you gonna do?”

      “You underestimate me, you ass, I’ll figure something out,”

      “Will you?” Charlie grinned, “I will be waiting in anticipation,”

      “You better be,”

      Meeks elbowed back into Cameron’s ribs, “You’re going to knock me over,”

      Cameron craned his neck further to peek around the corner into the children’s section, “I just want to see, let me look,”

      “Nothing is happening-” Meeks snipped, “They’re just talking now and I might be able to hear if you could can it!”

      Cameron rolled his eyes, “Of course, whatever you say,”

      “Will you shut up?” Knox batted at Cameron’s shoulder, “They’ll see us, we’re not super well hidden,”

      “If you don’t stop talking they’ll realize we’re here,” Pitts mumbled, rolling his eyes. Cameron started to rebuttal, turning to look at Gerard but the motion knocked Meeks out of place and he gasped, stumbling forwards. This did indeed draw Charlie’s attention.

      “Meeks, what the hell?” Charlie snapped. He was in a state, sunglasses askew in his hair, paint smeared from his cheekbone down to the corner of his mouth, and his shirt was wrinkled away from his collarbone.

      Meeks stared, “Hi Charlie. Are there any textbooks down here, uh… the science ones?”

      Knox groaned, stepping out from behind the wall as well, “We wanted to see why you came here on a Tuesday afternoon by yourself,”

      Charlie blubbered, “Did you all come? Is Keating there too?”

      “He could be,” Meeks shrugged.

      Charlie rolled his eyes, “Will you leave, I’ll be upstairs in a second,” The other poets nodded, scampering up the steps to the first level.

      “Assholes, should have known they’d come,” Charlie sighed, adjusting the sunglasses atop his head, “I need to go before they decide to intrude again. I’ll see you soon though, anxiously anticipating payback,”

      He was almost out the door when you bucked up the courage to call out to him, “Charlie, wait.” You let him turn back to you before continuing, “Could I have your phone number?”

      He clicked his teeth, “Don’t have one, private school. But I’ll find the library number in the books and try to shoot you a call sometime,” He winked and started back up to his friends.

      Knox was waiting at the landing with a handful of tissues, which he shoved into Charlie’s hands, “So you’re gonna read your stupid poem about tits at a Dead Poets meet and then not tell us you’ve got a girlfriend?”

      Charlie grabbed the tissues, “Not my girlfriend, I meet her like two weeks ago,”

      “Didn’t stop Knox,” Neil elbowed him.

      Charlie wiped at his face, “Well I’m not Knox. I like her painting, she's good.”

      “It looks like she was painting you,” Cameron slapped at Charlie’s chest and he threw the tissues at him in retaliation.

      “Shut up, at least my library worker actually talks to me,”

      Cameron fumbled with the dirty material, batting it away from his chest, “You dick!”

      Charlie grinned, pulling his glasses down and starting towards the door. Something about it was thrilling, having this to himself. A little secret that he and you shared. His personal Salvador Dalí, something to look forwards to besides bad tobacco and Keating’s eccentric lectures. It was bright and exciting and he felt seen. He felt important. The blue paint he had stolen from your tray was still on the tip of his pointer finger and he wondered how long it would be until he could see you again.

 ( @interwebseriesfan24 )

[discocactusblogs]

Annabel Lee- Tim Drake x Reader

{Disclaimer: For anyone wondering, the poem I used is Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe, (site used for reference). I do NOT own the poem nor do I claim to. I am merely using it for entertainment purposes.}

{Author’s Note: My brain was fried from school today and I’m still not done but I decided to take a break to write this request from almost a month ago.  I wrote this for @cjtherandomchild & @trytokillmeorsomething123 Hope you guys enjoy!}

“How long has it been since you slept?” I ask, watching the dark-haired boy stumble into my room and plop down on my bed.

“Three weeks.” He sighed into his hands.

“Three weeks?! My dude, you’re going to kill yourself like this! Here, just lay down.” I motion for him to rest his head on the pillow on my lap.

“No. I’m fine. I’ll be okay.” He argued, rubbing his face. “I just need coffee.”

“Timothy, lay down." I sigh, setting my book aside on my nightstand.

“Why? I can sleep at home.” He looked at me with tired eyes. 

The poor boy had dark bags under his eyes and just overall looked sickly and sad.

“Tim, we’ve been dating for how long? I know you, and you need to sleep before you pass out in class like last time.” I remind him, earning a groan from him in exhaustion.

“On one condition.” He replied as he laid his head in my lap.

“And that is?” I raise an eyebrow at him in suspicion.

“Read to me. I like it when you get caught up in the story.” He looked up at me with a playful smirk tugging on his lips.

“But I’m reading dark poetry.” I chuckle nervously.

“I don’t care. Just read.” He finally yawned, resting his eyes for a few moments. “Please?” He whined.

“Fine, you win. But, you better sleep!”

“I will!” He smiled in satisfaction.

I grabbed my book and opened it to where I left off.

(1)“I was a child and she was a child,  In this kingdom by the sea, But we loved with a love that was more than love—  I and my Annabel Lee— With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven Coveted her and me. ” I read, looking down to check if he was asleep.

 “Keep going. It reminds me of you.” He mumbled sleepily.

 I smiled softly and continued reading. After a short while, I gazed upon his peaceful, sleeping face.

  (1)“The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,

   Went envying her and me—

Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,

   In this kingdom by the sea)

That the wind came out of the cloud by night,

   Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.” I continued, running my fingers through his hair as I read the following verse by memory, yawning sleepily as I too, was growing sleepy.

  (1)“But our love it was stronger by far than the love

   Of those who were older than we—

   Of many far wiser than we—

And neither the angels in Heaven above

   Nor the demons down under the sea

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;” I finished and set the book aside. Softly stroking Tim’s hair and listening to the sound of his soft snores, I drifted off into a late-night slumber.

~~~

1. Link to full poem, Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe

Masterlist

[infinitegalahad]

GENERATION KILL: COMFORTING THERE PARTNER

"This is just me formally submitting a request for that gk boys offering their own forms of comfort fic/ headcanon/ thoughts wtevr. Lol just as a reminder. 😀"@theboardwalkbody

Gif Credit: @ymagor

A/N: You're wish is my command, homes❣️ Here's a little change of pace! @theboardwalkbody inspired this post (and asked it!), so thanks for the Inspo friend! 🤩 I'm doing this for BoB and TP because I'm going through a slight writer's block and instead of thinking about long descriptions, I just wanna so head canons that get a little out of hand. I hope this isn't too ooc😔 Reader has *inserted mental illness* btw, it's up for interpretation! ALSO GN! READER! Enjoy!

Taglist: @theboardwalkbody @contrabandhothead

Masterlist

NATE FICK-

Nate's a calculated person. He can see the patterns in people, things, etc. Like how his father's eyebrows wrinkle when he's excited, or when his mother likes to prep a meal from vegetables to the main course. So when you're happy, sad, whatever-he knows it, and you don't even have to tell him.

He'll come home and see you. He knows that you've heard him calling you're name, but you don't move. He looks all over the house and finds you inside of your tub, just sitting there with no response. The water is running, and your clothes and hair are soaked.

So in an attempt to not disrupt your peace, Nate climbs in and sits next to you. You look over and he's stares at you. Just as your about to speak, he beats you to it.

"I'll get you a towel and some clothes."

And then, he just leaves. You hear the door quietly shut, and you blink for a few seconds. What the hell just happened? It snapped you out of your depressive trance. Now instead of feeling sad-you just were confused.

So you hear the door lightly open again and then close. After a few more minutes of soaking, you get out and see a towel and a set of clothes that are most certainly not yours. It's Nate's Dartmouth Lacrosse sweater and a pair of underwear-he knows you too well.

So you exit the bathroom and you see Nate, putting two cups down of you're favorite tea

And he's got that face. You know the face were he's like ☹️

"Hey, c'mere."

The two of you climb into bed with eachtoher. He throws one of those ugg blankets over you. You rest his head in his chest and he pats your head. There's a silence, until Nate says, "Do you wanna walk about it."

Normally, you'd say no and he'd read you a book you're reading or hold you as you cry, but this time, it's different.

"Yeah, I do. You won't judge, right?"

Nate tilts you chin up, and he's got a tired smile on his face.

"Why would I?"

BRAD COLBERT-

Brad may appear horrible with emotions and reading the room...in which he isn’t

Okay, scratch that. He tries to understand them, it’s just hard for him to give advice and use words to comfort you. He feels like he’s walking on glass, But sometimes, you just need him psychically more then anything.

When you storm out of a room when Chaffin makes a comment on your weight, Brad takes a few minutes to think what he should do.

Normally, he’d just leave you be, but he’s gotta do something. Getting up, he follows you down the hallway. You’re not far, and he’s calling you’re name.

You stop in the hallway, wiping the tears coming down toye face. Brad turns you around with his hands on your shoulder. He’s got a blank face on as he looks at you, seeing your red face and the tears.

While you sob and stutter, he fixes the collar of your shirt, tucks your hair behind your ear, which is normal. He likes to neaten you up to make you feel better.

But he starts to use his thumb, wiping the tears coming down your face. You shocked as he cups your face, making you look into those icy cold eyes. He looks like the Iceman, cold and emotionless, but what he says very Brad.

“You’re beautiful.”

Then he pulls you into a tight grasp. He’s a whole foot taller then you, and you like the way he snakes his hands around his waist and slightly lifts off you your feet. His sheer presence is intimating, but for you; comforting. 

RAY PERSON-

THIS MAN. although a hick with a big mouth, he does know when to shut up and can read you’re emotions like the back of his hand.

He can just see the sadness swelling in your eyes and the way you pick at the foot at your plate and avoid all of needs for cuddles in bed. Heck, it’s making Ray sad.

So he does what he does best-not shutting up, well-about things he likes about you.

“Man! Look at my hot girlfriend/wife! There reading books by the liberal media, total smartie here! Oh! And they have a degree from-“

Ray will also beg for to your attention and follows you around like a puppy. Like you’ll be sitting on the couch and he’ll come rest his head on your lap. You ignore him, but he starts to twist and quote random movies so you finally give in.

Is Ray annoying? Yes. But did he make you smile? Also yes.

Also Ray is a cook, and knows all of your favorite meals. Of course, he sets the table, lights a few Mantown candles (yes there real google them), and comes to serve your meal with two plates.

“The most beautiful man/woman I have ever seen, the love of my life, the apple of my eye, the Avril to my Bizzy D-you’re hot pockets.”

It makes you laugh, which makes Ray happy. He feeds off of that attention. You sit in Ray’s lap, eating hot pockets, and watching The Best Damn Tour. You lean on Ray’s shoulder, and he leans right back.

POKE ESPERA-

Alexa play Whatta Man’ by Salt-N-Peppa BECAUSE! WHAT! A! MAN!

Poke is one tough mofo. He embodies the meme of “Good morning to my beautiful wife/husband and child everybody else get fucked”.

But like every baddie; baddie’s gotta have soft spots for there bitches. He has two; you and his daughter. And oh god he’s love the two of more then anything in the world.

Poke knows you and his daughter well enough. His daughter first notices that your not as enthusiastic and bubbly, and then she tells Poke. But Poke already knows because he’s observant and very in touch with his emotions.

So when he’s a work; he thinks and does a lot of self reflection. He wonders why you’re upset. Did he cause it? What can he do to make it better? He asks all the guys for advice, and even his own daughter.

An idea strikes! Poke’s got a lot of anger, so his therapist told him to express his emotions by journalling. But Poke learns that it helps him get everything out of system, so he’s a secret writer. Heck, he even likes poetry; and would kill anyone if they’d find out.

While off at work, small letters start to appear across you’re house. Some are long, some are short, but there sweet and make you’re day.

“I held the stars in my arms wen I held you”

“I can’t wait to kiss you.”

“Your eyes stole all of my words away”

And the covers of the notes are done by Poke’s daughter, covered in glitter and Lisa Frank stickers.

You confront Poke about this “mysterious pen pal” and Poke is like “I mean, your lips do sound tempting”

You know it’s Poke, and he knows it, but there’s something about the mystery that is very romantic.

WALT HASSER-

Here comes our favourie country pumpkin

Now let me say. This man LOVES you more then anything the world

Doesn’t wanna show you off (but he does)

So when you’re the slightest bit sad, Walt is even sadder then you are

Walt is someone that lives to receive attention, and also he’s someone that likes to give it. Especially to the love of his life!

Walt gives you things you actually need, and nothing that is materialistic. Growing up, his parents had a healthy relationship, and the apple clearly doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Waits on you hand and foot. A back massage? Done. A fuzzy blanket? Right on it! A specific burger from a joint that is thirty minutes away at three in the morning? Walt’s driving like a manic just for you. You have the man’s undivided attention.

“Walt?”

He stops whatever he’s doing and runs over, getting on his knees, “Yeah, what’s up baby?”

“Can you sing the song? Y’know, our song?”

Walt nods his head, now an eager puppy, and gets his gutair to play the song he wrote especially for you. And this is making me realize how painfully single I am oh my

RUDY REYES-

Rudy has an iv of respect woman/men juice. He always understands the assignment-and desires extra credit.

So whenever you’re down in the dumps, Rudy will drop everything and drag you into the car to go walk on his favorite trail. It’s ten miles long, but Rudy is a fitness freak.

First, you hate doing it. But the more you talk these long walks, the more you begin to enjoy it.

Sometimes there silence. Rudy won’t speak force you to talk. Talking is stressful, and Rudy will wait until you’re ready. The two of you holds hands, and Rudy has such a calming presence. It’s really hard to get angry at him.

You finally speak and tell Rudy you’re problems, and he listens and doesn’t interrupt. He’s got a hand on you’re lower back, or on your thigh. He’s basically you’re emotional support teddy bear and will always be a lending ear, or a total cuddle monster.

Rudy has the best advice as well. It’s always some yoga shit, but damn, those breathing  exercises do actually help.

EVAN “Q-TIP” STAFFORD-

Oh Q-Tip. My feral goblin son😭

I love him, but sometimes-things can fly over his head.

But when you start to ignore him and hide away from him, he begins to notice. And he HATES IT.

Like Christianson will ask him if he’s okay and he’ll literally quote a 2pac song and be like,

“I would drop all my girls for you, Walk barefoot 'round the world for you, Fly around like the birds for you, Thats why I wrote these words for you..”

Lilley is like “Brah we gotta help a homie out”

So the three stooges create Lovegate. The mission? to make Q-Tip’s partner happier.

Q-Tip is very artistically inclined. So with Christenson’s editing skills and Lilley’s camera, Q-Tip writes you a song and does a whole music video.

The man rents out a movie theatre venue just to show you. Of course, you’re blown away. It’s horrible and you can taste the autotone, BUT IT’S THE EFFORT THAT COUNTS. and q-tip has that smile on. you know what i’m talking about!

Doc Bryan walks in on the two of you making out and is pissed since all he wanted to do was see the re-screening of Bridemaids but NO, Q-Tip just had to rent out a theatre to show his partner a music video about them and then make out.

He see’s Lilley, who’s recording and asks to interview what Doc’s opinion on the music video, and this is what he’s says.

“I think my ears bled, but thank fuck those two aren’t acting like emo’s.”

DOC BRYAN-

The gif has a purpose. Trust me. SPEAKING OF THE MAN OF THE HOUR

Bryan, like Poke, is a very observant guy. He’s an angry motherfucker, and even a little insensitive, but ever since dating you; he’s tried to change.

He hates the world. People are shitty, and it makes him feel shitty that you’re sad because when you feel shitty, he’s in a shitter mood then he’s usually in

Knowing that his words might sound a little harsh, Byran knows how to distract you. Without words. After all, he didn’t work out for nothing.

Long hugs are you’re thing. The two of you will run into eachother, find a private place, and he’ll just wrap his arms around you. His big arms are protective, and he’s warm, and you just sink into him.

Sometimes, you’ll fall asleep. Byran sometimes will fall asleep with you, other times he’ll gently lay you down and put a blanket with a gentle forehead kiss.

When you cry in his arms, he’ll wipe the tears away. He can feel them against his arm, and he doesn’t know what to do. Crying girls/guys are not his speciality.

But when you squeeze his arm back, to let you know what your there and that you love him, Byran will freeze. He has no idea what to next with words. He’ll put his hand over yours, and turns out; it works well.

After this is all over, he’ll check up on you and ask you simply if you’re okay. You respond with a smile. Byran isn’t one for smiles, but for you, he shows a subtle smile back. Just to let you know.

[chrystal5gem]

THOUGHTS. Don't mind my ranting.

SPOILERS

EPISODE 1

- Eloise made people cry? Right on track?

- I like Anthony without the sideburns, actually?

- Pen be girl bossing!!

- lady Danbury is living for the drama!!

- ANTHONY BE STRESSED THIS SEASON...

- Anthony wants a bookworm wife , cough.

- different Kate and Anthony meeting? I like it though.

- THE BANTER. We are being fed WELL.

- I love how lady Danbury has a hand in every love story!

- NEWTON MY GOOD BOY

- NEWTON YOU FLUFFY, CUTE ONE

- Colin and Pen have been in touch while he's on holiday?!

- THE MUSIC, I'M OBSESSED

- Kate's tiara 😭

- the queen has beef with Mary Sharma?

- Benedict to eliose's rescue

- Sheffield-sharma... Book surname was still included, cute

- our wallflower, Kate. I hope she and pen become besties. (They didn't, sadly)

- Kate giving off whistledown vibes, listening in to conversations.

- pen's family making fun of her writing to Colin? Saying he's not her friend. MY ANGER.

- the new Lord Jack Featherington?!

-he seems kind, hope it matches up. (Lol, it didn't)

- Pen / whistledown hyping up the fellow girls!!

EPISODE 2

- Is blue Kate's colour?

- is Benedict the wingman in Colin's absence? (Book difference)

- THE RIVALRY, YES it does the book banter justice!!

- COLIN HAS RETURNED...

- PEN AND COLIN'S LOOK!!

- Pen and Colin bonded over their letters!!

- he's noticing her more, too

- Kate showing her smarts.

- eliose who is this boy?

- THE QUEEN HAS 15 CHILDREN?

- pen and Edwina being friends instead?

- Colin found himself with pen's words!

- THE FRIEND ZONE, NO, MY POLIN HEART TAKES ANOTER HIT

- Benedict having to teach Anthony poetry? LOL.

- Benedict, a man of many words of love. I CAN'T WAIT FOR S3

- Anthony stumbling over words when looking at Kate.

- THE LONGING GLANCES

- PEN WAS ALMOST CAUGHT

EPISODE 3

- YOUNG ANTHONY AND HIS DAD 😭❤

- Violets husband got stung while picking flowers? I read the book, but still sad.

- Edmund dying in Violets arms. CUE MENTAL BREAKING DOWN. I'm sobbing

- DAPHNE AND AUGIE

- Colin doting on baby Augie!!

- Anthony has to win over Kate and NEWTON

- violets wedding ring 😭😭

- baby Anthony IS STRESSED. GIVE HIM A BREAK.

- PALL MALL LET'S GO, best banter material there will be 👏🏻

- THE MALLET OF DEATH

- THE MUD SCENE

- IT'S RAINING, CUE MY TABLE SCENE

- scratch that, it seems, a light drizzle

- Anthony had to pick between his mother and hyacinth!!

- my heart hurts for violet.

- oh pru, honey, no.

- Daphne and Anthony talking about love and how it should be, I almost cried.

- Cowper you lying tit 🤦‍♀️

- is Colin giving Benedict weed? LOL

- wow, violets love for Edmund... Is beyond.

- Anthony not wanting his wife to grieve as his widowed mother did. Ant, my poor.

- BENEDICT GOT INTO ART SCHOOL

- is pen looking for a partner in crime in madame DeLacroix? YES

- Anthony's beef with NEWTON!!

- THE BEE STING.

-where is my scandalous bee scene though!! I WAS ROBBED!!

-THE TENSION OF THE ALMOST KISS

EPISODE 4

-Madame DeLacroix helping pen! Legend.

- FINALLY, PEN IN MINT GREEN!

- "OF COURSE SHE IS "

- LADY CRANE AND HER TWINS.

- SIR PHILLIP

- BENEDICT'S CROOKED SMILE

-The hunting scene was a beautiful add.

- IT'S RAINING AGAIN. CUE THUNDER

- wow, marina has changed for the worse. Dang.

- marina opening Colin's eyes to pen caring for him!! A backhanded kindness, but nonetheless

- THE THUNDER. COME ON LIBRARY SCENE.

- WHERE IS MY LIBRARY TABLE SCENE? IT IS ESSENTIAL.

- ironically a bee was floating in my room while watching, so it's to say, I was freaked out just a little 😭😭

- Pen IN FLATTERING PINK

- THE DANCE, THE MOVEMENTS, THE HANDS

-lady Danbury sees all, including your distraught at Kate possibly leaving, Anthony.

- Daphne walking in on Anthony on his 3rd almost kiss... Ironic, them switching roles lol

-ANTHONY PROPOSED TO EDWINA, SHIT.

EPISODE 5

-jealous Anthony, Colin and pen having a more easy converse.

-THE BOOK QUOTE SPEECH ,the almost kiss!

- I feel for Kate, this girl needs someone to talk to

EPISODE 6

-Kate needs a stiff drink, seriously.

- shook by Edwina saying "half sister"

- Colin finally realizing pen cares for him greatly, and seeing it, seeing her!!

- please note everyone calls each other by last names, but to Colin, she's always "pen".

- THE KISS, GET IT MISS KATE.

EPISODE 7

- foody book Colin!!

-Oh shit. The queen thinks lady W is El?

-episode of betrayls

- lol, what is it with bridgertons and gardens?

- Anthony ft his fear of losing loved ones.

EPISODE 8

-THERE'S BLOOD, OH NO

- Anthony crying over Kate AND getting rejected?

- el be sus of pen

- Colin is dancing with the Cowper girl? WHY.

-COLIN BE HOLDING PEN'S HAND

- Colin returning the favour of warning pen

- pen and Colin dancing, yes!!

-" I will always look after you Penelope, you are special to me"... MY POLIN HEART

- this ep is stressing me out

- el finding out whistledown is pen, the fight

- PEN OVERHEARING COLIN SAY THAT, GIVE HER A BREAK

Conclusion. I liked it, they moved up the time span of Colin saying THAT about pen, which makes me wonder if it's Benedict or Colin's season next...

I hoped to see more of married Kate and Anthony, but here's to hoping. And dang! Daphne's knocked up again? Lol.

[toorumochi]

Hello~ I created some KaruShuu Headcanons for you guys~ hope you enjoy ❤️🧡 (Questions ain’t mine, I just answered them) Also some of them are based off fanfics I have written/read.

Who rocks the Ferris Wheel seat and who flips out and begs them to stop?

KARMA IS A BITCH AND IS ROCKING THE FERRIS WHEEL SEAT WHILE SHUU IS HOLDING ONTO THE POLE FOR DEAR LIFE

Who is always horny and will have sex at any time, at any place and at any time?

Hm. Both. Lmao

Who is more into taking showers/baths together? Who tries to make it relaxing and who tries to make it sexy time?

Karma is the sexy time, always time and Shuu is the relaxing time one BUT. That doesn’t mean he isn’t playing along with Karma

Who likes to walk around the house naked and who tells the other to go put some clothes on?

Karma. Karma walks around at least half naked maybe some boxers - and it’s not like shuu doesn’t enjoy watching his manly man walking around the house beefy af and flexing his muscles without even trying but he still tells karma to put some clothes on

Who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight?

I DONT CAREEE HOW SOFT THE ARGUMENT WAS. KARMA SLEEPS ON THE COUCH.

Who takes photos of the other while they sleep?

BOTH DO. BOTH DO TAKE PICS OF THE OTHER ONE AND THEY TEASE THEM WITH THE PICS LATER ON

Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?

I would say that Karma was the first one who said ‘I love you’ and the ‘bc I love you’ feels like smth Shuu would say

Who likes to wear the others sweatshirts?

Shuu likes to wear Karmas, and then:

“...shuu pls give me my clothes back I swear I have nothing to wear-“

Who wakes the other up in the middle of the night to tell them a cool dream they had? Who has the most nightmares, and who sings them back to sleep after?

Karma would be the one with cool dreams and wake Shuu up but since Shuu is a supporting bf/husband he will listen to him ❤️ and when it comes to nightmares, I would say that Shuu gets them but Karma is always there to comfort him ❤️❤️

Who is more likely to cheat?

No❤️ but if it’s in a video game- karma. He is a little bitc-

Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?

NDNSNSNSBD KARMA WOULD MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT LIKE

“Wait whattt??? You have a crush on me? Omggg stahp I’m blushing now”

“......Karma we are dating-“

Or better!

“What? Omg- really? You actually have a crush on me? Damn Shuu why didn’t you tell me”

“...Karma we are marrIED-“

Who starts a food fight in the kitchen?

Karma is a little bitch and he would start with maybe splashing some water onto Shuu and then Shuu turns to face him with a straight face “oh it’s on”

Who initiates duets? and who is the better singer?

Both initiate duets; anywhere and everywhere - and Shuu is the better singer. Karma sounds like a bitch

Who starts the hand holding? Who grabs the others butt? Who slides their arm around their waist? Who likes to put their fingers in the belt loops?

Hmmm maybe Karma would take it easy with the hand holding; like he would start taking Shuus hand when they are at home and when it comes to public he lets it be and waits for Shuu; cause if he is ready to hold hands, Karma is ready too.

GRABBING BUTTS- OMG PLS. KARMA. KARMA WOULD. AND AND HE WOULD TEASE SHUU ABOUT BEING HEAVIER THAT HE IS AND SAY THAT HIS ASS IS 4KG HEAVIER.

AND THE ARM SLIDING AROUND THE WAIST- *slams fist on the table* KARMA WOULD DO THIS ANYWHERE LITERALLY ANYWHERE.

AND THE BELT LOOPS- SHUU. SHUU WOULD THIS BUT LIKE HE WOULD DO IT AS A SIGN THAT HE IS UNCOMFORTABLE AND WANTS TO LEAVE SO HE SHOWS IT TO KARMA THAT WAY AND I THINK ITS ADORABLE.

Who likes to write the others name on their wrist?

Karma would doodle his own name on Shuus arm during study sessions or so ksksksks bonus: Shuu does NOT wash it off, when in the shower, he has this one hand stretched out so the water won’t touch the doodle.

Who is more seductive when they are drunk? and who is louder in bed?

Shuu. Both is Shuu. Pls.

Who is more protective?

Karma is pretty protective- but not in an obsessive way, more like taking care of Shuu and his health as well as his eating habits and sleep

Who talks to the other while they are sleeping?

Karma would just talk and talk till Shuu falls asleep but karma KEEPS ON TALKI-

Who drives and who has the window seat?

Karma drives bc he is the most terrain oriented and besides, Shuu likes to drink from time to time (like coming back from parties or so) so there is no way that a drunk Shuu at the steering wheel would survive.

Who falls asleep in the others lap and who carries them to bed?

Shuu would fall asleep in Karmas lap (DURING SHREK MARATHONSSS 🥴 Idk if anyone gets that but in my fanfics on Wattpad Karma is OBSESSED with Shrek lmao so Shrek marathons >>>) and Karma would carry him to bed.

Who cuts the others hair?

I would say Shuu would cut Karmas hair, pls he is perfect at everything. (.......except cooking and baking *clears throat*)

Who is super bad at sexting? and who sends them encouraging messages throughout the day?

Shuu is hella bad at sexting, but when he is drunk he is the god of flirting lmao

And the encouraging ones- hm... both djdjdjd

Who thinks they are not good enough for the others love? and who’s more afraid of loosing the other? Who thinks they keep messing up, only for the other to tell them they don’t need to worry?

AAAAAA NOOOO *war flashbacks: “You’re my Moron” fanfic ending II”*

Who starts random slow dancing with the other in the kitchen? Who holds the other just above the ground and kisses them?

KARMA KARMA KARMA WOULD. KARMA WOULD START TO RANDOMLY SLOW DANCE WITH SHUU IN THE KITCHEN AND THEN KISS HIM AAAAA

Who says shitty puns and sex jokes just to see the other giggle and blush?

KARMA DOES THIS IN THE MOST INAPPROPRIATE TIMES PLS

Who kissed first?

OH OH!!!

I think!!! That if maybe Karma was the first one to confess bc come on, Shuu has a reputation so yea, but when it comes to first kiss- Shuu would. Shuu would be the one who kisses Karma like totally randomly, maybe hanging out at each other houses and watching a movie and then Shuu leaNS IN AND KISSES HIM AAAAA-

Who orders take out at two in a morning? and who wakes the other up at three in the morning to go downstairs with them to get a glass of water because it’s too dark?

JDJSJSHS KARMA WOULD ORDER TAKE OUT BUT ONLY WHEN THEY ARE MAKING MOVIE MARATHONS AND THE FOOD RUNS OUT- AND THE THREE AM WATER GETTING IS SHUU BC HE IS JUST SCARED OF THE DARK YES.

Who writes poems/stories and love songs about the other? Do they sing the songs the write for them?

YES. THIS. SHUU WOULD. Since he plays many instruments, he finds himself creating love songs for Karma butttt he wouldn’t give them to him bc he would be too embarrassed ndndndnd on the other hand, Karma would write poetry and stories for Shuu like very dorky ones and cute and Shuu finds it adorable on the inside but he has to keep his reputation and standards and stuff like that up so he just says it’s stupid but let me tell you, that boy loves Karmas poetry and stories

Who does some crazy stunt to try and impress the other and who ends up driving them to the emergency room after it backfires?

KARMA WOULD TRY TO IMPRESS AND THEN BAM. HOSPITAL.

BUT. JUST BC KARMA IS A DORK, IT DOESNT MEAN THAT SHUU ISN’T. IMAGINE SHUU TRYING TO BAKE SMTH FOR KARMA FOR THE FIRST TIME AND HE FUCKS UP SO BADLY THEY HAD TO CALL A FIRE DEPARTMENT-

Who is embarrassed when they have to wear their glasses and who thinks they look super cute?

KARMA WOULD WEAR GLASSES BUT HE WOULDN’T BE EMBARRASSED BUTTT SHUU WOULD FIND HIM EVEN MORE ATTRACTIVE

who worries about what they will look like when they are older?

BOTH, they worry that they won’t be good looking enough for the other one

who hogs the blanket?

Karma is a hoe.

who eats the others uneaten pizza crusts?

Pls, Shuu would rather die than not eat his own pizza left overs butttt Karma sometimes wont finish them and Shuu gladly accepts 😩❤️ (also a fanfic reference, bc Shuu loves pizza in that one fanfic so yea-)

who is more likely to cry over a sad book or movie?

BOTH BUT WHEN THEY ARE WATCHING A MOVIE TOGETHER AND ITS SAD THEY WONT ADMIT NOR SHOW IT

who talks while playing video games?

KARMA WOULD CONSTANTLY TALK AND THAT WAY HE CAN BEAT SHUU BC HE DISTRACTS HIM BUT SHUU ALSO TALKS BC HE HAS QUESTIONS ABOUT THE GAME

who sings along with the radio?

KARMA SINGS BUT HORRIBLY AND SHUU IS THE TYPE TO HUM TO THE SONGS

who would enter them both into a talent show?

KARMA BUT NOW THAT I THINK OF IT, RIO WOULD FORCE THEM TO DO THAT BEFORE KARMA CAN EVEN THINK OF IT

who would accidentally set the kitchen on fire while cooking?

DO I NEED TO ANSWER THIS? 💀 (Shuu.)

who would throw the other into a pool?

KARMA WOULD THROW SHUU INTO A POOL. IDC. HE WOULD. B U T SHUU WOULD QUICKLY GRAB ONTO KARMA AND THEY BOTH LAND IN THE POOL. I DON’T MAKE THE RULES.

who shops for groceries?

THEY BOTH DO BUT KARMA IS MORE ORIENTED DJDJDJ

who kills the spiders?

PLSSSS SHUU IS S C R E E T C H I N G AT THE SIGHT OF A SPIDER. KARMA IS THERE TO KILL/GET IT OUT TO SAFETY BUT BEFORE THAT, HE CHASES SHUU AROUND THE HOUSE WITH IT

who is the morning/night person?

SHUU IS A MORNING PERSON AND KARMA A NIGHT PERSON. BUTTTT ON SOME DAYS- *EHEM* SHUU ISNT A MORNING PERSON BC THEY HAD S-

whO PROPOSES?

KARMAAAAAAAA

I thinkkk that I have more of those- as soon as I find them, I’ll post them here 😩✨

[jaehyunhour]

for the first time... | huang renjun

summary: a collection of firsts with huang renjun.

warnings: suggestive at one point, but it’s mostly just cavity-inducing sweetness.

2.6k words. (a/n: i’m writing these for other members per request, so if you want to see another member please send me an ask!)

jeno | haechan | jaemin

the first time renjun… kisses you.

“ah, it’s getting late, i should go,” you sigh, much to the dismay of the dreamies. you stand up and walk towards the door slipping your shoes on. behind you, jeno nudges renjun and jeno wiggles his eyebrows at him. chenle and jisung are mouthing ‘walk her home’ to him, but renjun can’t make out what they’re trying to say.

“hey, y/n?” jaemin says.

“what’s up?” you say, turning around.

“do you need someone to walk you home?”

“oh! that would be nice, i guess.”

“great, renjun will take you.”

“wait, wha-“ renjun says, but jisung is already handing renjun his sweater and pushing him towards the door.

the walk home is silent on renjun’s end, he opts for listening to you talk about your weekend plans and how excited you are to sit on your couch all weekend and watch tv. he nods and hums along to what you say, so you know he’s listening to what he’s saying. when you get to the door, you thank him for walking with you.

“do you want to come inside for a second? or do you have to go back immediately?” you ask.

“it’s late, i should probably get back,” renjun says. good going, renjun.

“okay, sounds good. thanks for walking with me again, i appreciate it.”

“no problem, just let me know next time.”

you give him a final nod before walking into your apartment, and renjun stands outside the door with his hands in his pocket. he debates leaving, but before he can process what is happening, he’s knocking on your door again. you open immediately, knowing he was still there since you were watching him through the peephole.

“renjun?”

“can i kiss you?”

“what?”

“nevermind, that was stupid, i’m sorry,” he mumbles, about to turn around.

“shut up,” you say, grabbing him by the collar and pressing his lips to yours.

the first time renjun… takes you out on a date.

renjun ignored you for a few days after the kiss, not really knowing how to process having gone from a very silent crush on you to actually having kissed you. once he got over the initial shock, he decided to stop by your apartment to see how you were feeling, but his thoughts became overwhelming once he got there and acted out of impulse again. he knocked, you opened the door, and immediately renjun said:

“do you want to go out with me?”

“sure,” you respond. “right now?”

he nods quickly.

“um, i have to get dressed, give me like 5 minutes?”

“okay, i will wait here.” you nod and close the door and immediately renjun starts talking to himself.

“renjun, what the fuck was that? you were just supposed to come over here and talk, what’s not clicking?” he mumbles. 5 minutes turned into 15 minutes, as you struggled trying to find the perfect outfit to wear since renjun didn’t allude as to what he had planned.

he didn’t really have anything planned, so you wandered around the city for a while just talking.

“um, is there anything you want to do?” he asks.

you think for a second before suggesting, “do you want to go to a karaoke room? you know the single stall ones they have at the mall and maybe you can sing a few songs for me?”

“okay, sounds good,” renjun says, speeding up his walk a bit. you speed up to catch up with him, interlacing your fingers, and walking to the karaoke room. you squeeze into the small room and hand renjun the microphone, singing every song that you ask him to until you’re satisfied.

the first time renjun… says i love you.

renjun had snuck you past the boys and into his room, knowing that if the dreamies knew you were there he wouldn’t get to spend any alone time with you. you lay on his bed, flipping through a poetry book as renjun sits on the edge of the bed looking at lyrics for their new comeback and practicing his parts.

you put the book down on the bed, rolling over onto your side to stare at him. every time you look at him, your chest fills with love and his does the same when he looks at you. he can feel you staring, and it causes a blush to rise on his cheeks, but he continues to practice. at this point, you’ve also memorized his parts and quietly sing along with him. he turns around and gives you a big smile, teeth and all.

“i miss your little snaggle tooth,” you say, causing him to stop his singing.

“really?”

you nod. “i think your smile now is beautiful, but you looked really cute with your teeth back then too.”

he leans over you, pressing a kiss to your lips. when he pulls back, he hovers over you and looks at your face. now you’re the one blushing.

he gives you another kiss, then says: “i love you.”

you start giggling and he’s confused.

“what? what’s so funny? is it too early to say that?”

“no, dummy, it’s not too early. i love you. it’s just, now jaemin owes jeno $20.”

he cocks an eyebrow at you.

“jaemin bet jeno $20 that you would be the first one to say i love you, i overheard them last week.”

the first time renjun… makes love to you.

after you and renjun had both said your ‘i love you’s, you had become more affectionate with one another, no matter who was around. renjun was once reserved when it came to being affectionate in front of the dreamies, but after knowing that you both loved each other he didn’t care who saw. he would hold your hand in front of them, cuddle you in front of them, and kiss you in front of them. the only times he was more reserved was when the managers were around, as he didn’t want to be disrespectful to them, but no one could get him to stop being affectionate with you.

when it came time to preparing for their new comeback, renjun’s schedule began to get busier and he felt like he was neglecting you and your relationship. you told him it was fine, you understood he gets busy, but he still wanted to make it up to you. so he took you to a fancy dinner at a restaurant winwin recommended to him, and made sure that the dorm was absolutely empty when you went back. and then you ended up pinned underneath renjun’s body, stripped of your clothes, as he kissed all over your face, your neck and down your body.

“renjun, what if the others come ho—“

“they won’t come back until 10, and it’s only 8, we have time.”

“o-okay,” you say, breath shaky as he goes further south.

as he reaches your underwear he takes a second to ask: “are you okay with this?”

you nod, looking down and making eye contact with him.

“i have to hear you say it, baby,” he responds.

“yes.”

and just like that, renjun peels your underwear off and makes you feel so so loved.

the first time renjun… argues with you.

it wasn’t very often that you and renjun fought, but when it did happen it was tense. often, renjun let his emotions get the best of him and unconsciously picked fights with you. today was one of those days, where renjun was overcome with jealousy and was arguing with you over it.

“i just don’t understand why you feel the need to spend so much time with him, that’s all,” he says.

“he’s my friend, renjun, i can hang out with him if i want to. he’s your friend, too! i don’t understand why you’re so upset about me hanging out with jeno.”

“i’m not upset,” he responds. “just trying to wrap my head around why you’re always spending time with jeno.” he heads over to the sink and starts washing your dishes, still not turning to look at you.

“i hate when you get like this,” you say.

“i have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“you’re being so immature, renjun. you know that, right? you’re being jealous and immature for no reason, and need to figure it out. he’s your friend, you introduced me to him and now you’re upset that we hang out? do you not trust me?”

“i trust you, i just don’t trust him.”

“bullshit, he’s one of your best friends. you should know better than anyone else that he would never make a move on me because he wouldn’t do that to you.”

he doesn’t respond.

“i’m going to be in my room, don’t come talk to me until you’ve realized how immature you’re being.”

and so you stomp over to your room, and sulk in your bed while you hear renjun moving around in the living room. at least he’s cleaning, you think. you text jeno and ask if anything happened at their practice today to set him off. he says renjun couldn’t quite get a specific part of the new choreography and got quite frustrated, then stormed out when jeno mentioned your name. the movement in the living room stops, and you hear renjun’s footsteps in the hallway and stopping in front of your door. then he knocks.

“are you done being an ass?” you ask through the door.

“yes,” he says, a huge shift in the tone of his voice. he sounds sad.

you open the door and renjun looks at you with a slight pout on his lips. “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have gotten upset with you. i was just frustrated from practice, and i feel like i haven’t seen you lately and i got sad when i found out jeno had seen you lately. you have every right to be mad at me.”

“i’m not mad,” you lean in and kiss the pout off his lips. “i just hate when you get like that. you need to be better about talking through your feelings.”

“i’ll try to be better, i promise."

the first time renjun… buys you a present.

“renjun, you’re almost an hour late!” you whine pressing the phone to your ear.

“i know, i know, and i promise you i will be there soon.” he practically yells back, the sound of arcade games spilling through his end.

“are you at an arcade? are you kidding, renjun?”

“look, baby, i promise you i will be there so soon, i just needed to do this real quick.”

“i’m locking my doors in 15 minutes, so if you’re not here in 15 minutes you’re not being let in!”

and surely enough, renjun walks through your front door in 14 minutes bent over and out of breath. he’s holding a gift bag and hands it over to you, as he tries to catch his breath. you take the bag out of his hand, pulling out a small ryan plushie.

“what’s this?” you ask.

renjun finally catches his breath. “i was on my way over here when i saw this plushie at the arcade in a claw game, and i remember you mentioning it you wanted it. so i tried to win it for you, and i got caught up playing. then you called and i realized how late i was.”

“how much money did you spend?”

“too much. i didn’t even win this, i paid one of the staff members to open the claw machine for me so i could just take the plushie.”

“i can’t believe you,” you respond. you set the plushie down on your couch and walk over to renjun, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing kisses all over his face.

“sorry i was late,” he says sheepishly.

“it’s okay baby, don’t worry. thank you for the gift, i love it.”

the first time renjun… goes away.

“i’ll only be gone for two weeks, baby,” he says, wildly looking through his room for all of his things and stuffing them into the open suitcase on his bed.

“why do you always wait until the last minute to pack?”

“you only need like 10 minutes to pack, why spend more time than that?”

“because you look like a headless chicken running around the dorm trying to make sure you’ve packed everything.”

“suggestion noted. have you seen my toothbrush?”

“you packed it already.”

there’s a moment of silence while renjun looks through what he has packed to see if there is anything else he needs to pack.

“i think that’s everything,” he says, closing the suitcase and crawling into bed next to you. you wrap your arms around him as he places his head on your chest and sighs.

“i’ll miss you,” you say.

“i’m only going to be gone for two weeks.”

“i know, babe,” you say, running your fingers through his hair. “i feel like you keep saying that to remind yourself that it’s only two weeks. you’re so clingy.”

“you love when i’m clingy,” he pouts.

you lay in silence, enjoying the last few moments together before he has to go, when jisung knocks on the door. he opens the door slightly and peaks in, opening it fully when he sees you two laying there. renjun is half asleep in your arms, drifting off as you play with his hair.

“uh, the manager is here with the van so we can go,” jisung whispers. “we have to leave in 5 minutes.”

you nod at him and he leaves, and you let renjun rest for just a few moments more before waking him so he can go.

and the first time renjun… introduces you to his family.

renjun couldn’t go back to visit his family often, so you had yet to meet his real family, but the dreamies were his found family. you hang out with them often now, but you had met renjun first and knew him for a month before he introduced you to the dreamies. you worked as a barista at the cafe inside of the smtown coexartium, and every so often renjun would come in to order something. your friendship quickly grew, and his crush on you began, and he wanted to introduce you to the rest of the group.

he invited you over to the dorm for one of their game nights, meeting you outside of the coex building and walking with you over to the dorm. once outside of the door to the apartment, he stops for a second.

“okay, just warning you, it’s going to be very loud in there. and probably a bit stinky, and the boys will definitely get annoying, but if you ever want to leave just let me know, okay? i understand if you don’t want to spend a lot of time with us.”

“renjun, are you nervous?”

“a little bit,” he admits.

“how come?”

“well, i don’t really have a lot of friends or family here besides them, so i’ve never introduced them to anyone outside of our company before, and i don’t want them to get the wrong idea and think we’re dating or something,” renjun rambles.

your smile fades a little bit as his worry of them thinking you’re dating, but you quickly assure him it will be fine.

and, it wasn’t entirely a nightmare. the inside was loud, as promised, and was a bit stinky (but nothing you couldn’t handle). but you didn’t get annoyed with them. they quickly accepted you into their home as one of them, and you absolutely dominated during game night. you exited the dorm that night as the reigning mario kart champ, knocking jisung from his long held position.

[im-the-punk-who]

Hey, I was wondering if you have a book rec

!!

Okay so in full disclosure, I have a really hard time reading books. My brain sometime around six years ago just decided that wasn't its style anymore, so I don't read a TON. A lot of these aren’t going to be recent releases. However, here are a bunch of books I would absolutely recommend checking out! I tried to include a variety of genres but I have uh.....five bookshelves in my apartment so if you're looking for more of a certain genre let me know!

Theatre:

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead - Tom Stoppard

Waiting for Godot - Samuel Beckett

These are my two favorite plays - they're both absurdist, humorous, and have some fun things to say. They’re both by old white guys but like....I love both Tom Stoppard and Samuel Beckett DEEPLY and they have all of my love and respect.

Non-Fiction/Educational:

Why are all the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria by Beverly Daniel Tatum - this is considered a 'classic' on the psychology of racism, and was particularly helpful for me as a white person in arming myself against 'reverse racism' thoughts and in dissembling my own prejudices. This is mostly a rec for other white folks, but Tatum also addresses 'having the courage to sit at the black table' as a way of claiming your own identity outside of the stereotypes the dominant society expects of you.

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown - Okay listen I just really REALLY love Brene Brown, she is a therapist most famous for her TED talk about Vulnerability and this is just...listen I really like to read this book when I am sad and feel like shit because it makes me feel strong. I reread this book at least once a year.

Imagined Communities by Benendict Anderson - This is an absolutely fascinating read on the rise of nationalism. It’s a bit dry and wordy, but the ideas and use of history as propaganda, spinning the story of a nation to pit it against or on the same side as other nations, and the ways in which these tactics shaped cultural history is just!!!! Amazing.

Gay New York by George Chauncey - This is just one of the most informative and interesting reads of queer history in New York that I’ve ever come across. It’s one of the ‘must reads’ of queer history and has so many interesting tidbits that I have to recommend it. It’s a bit old(published in 1994) but I still find it relevant and interesting to read.

Personal Fiction/Autobiographical Fiction

White Girls by Hilton Als - I went to a reading of this book when it first came out. It was so much fun and so eye-opening for me as a baby queer in NYC that I bought the book there. I wanna be really clear that Als does not pull punches and a lot of people don’t quite like it, but I love Als’ style of writing. The stories and essays in this book are amazing and funny and heartbreaking and informative of queer experience - particularly black queer experience - that I always feel like...honored? to experience through writing? This is one of those ‘you’re gonna suffer but you’re gonna be happy about it’ reads - it can be hard to face because of how very hard the pills are to swallow but like....gosh I just love this book and it’s interesting and hilarious and great.

Confessions of an Economic Hitman by John Perkins  - this is my tin hat favorite. It hits....ugh. This is one of those books that came out and like every government agency freaked the fuck out over it. It’s an interesting look into the quote-unquote dark underbelly of capitalism; how and why countries manipulate each other through economic policies. Super interesting read with a nice style of prose.

The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to become the Smartest Person in the World by A.J. Jacobs Okay so full disclosure I have not finished reading this, but I’m far enough through to rec it. This book chronicles the author’s attempt to read the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica from front to back, and it is just as kooky and hilarious as it sounds. I am very incredibly and deeply offended this author stole both my schtick and my initials, thereby preventing me from doing this exact thing. I read through the phone book in its entirety when I was three. I had it in me. Anyway, this is basically the author just listing weird interesting facts he’s read about and connecting them to his daily life, but it’s a fun read, and you learn a lot of totally useless facts, which is absolutely my jam.

When Skatboards Will Be Free by Saïd Sayrafiezadeh - HI I LOVE THIS BOOK. I’ve read it maybe three times over. It’s so fun and interesting. You may notice that a lot of the books I rec are very absurdist in their humor, and this is no exception. This book is full of the dry wit and just weird goddamn shit you could only expect from the child of a revolution that never came. You want to read a book about someone who Went Through Shit? Read this book. It’s funny and heartbreaking and just. AHHHH. Seriously I cannot recommend this enough.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosch - FIGHT ME ON THIS. I love this book.....so much. Yes it’s technically a comic book but the stories are so INTERESTING and hilarious and full of exactly the dry absurdist humor I eat the fuck up. Also! Allie Brosch recently released a sequel of sorts called Solutions and Other Problems that I recommend without even reading it.

Poetry

Pansy by Andrea Gibson - IF YOU ARE NOT READING THE POETRY OF ANDREA GIBSON WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING WITH YOUR LIFE. I cried seven times reading this book. There are only like 14 poems. Please please read this to break your own queer heart :)

Bloodsport by Yves Olade - This is a tiny book full of absolutely devastating poetry. Most of it has to do with the grief of relationships, but like....gosh I love all of Olade’s stuff. (Also!! This is available as a pay-what-you-wish pdf!!)

Bright Dead Things by Ada Limón - This book focuses a lot on the author’s experiences of loss, and knowing that loss is going to happen. I’m completely devastated every time I read this.

Science Fiction/Fantasy

The Bartimeaus Sequence by Jonathan Stroud - So what if I am a dumb millennial I love this series. It’s another dry and deadpan humor, with weird additions and Stroud’s use of footnotes to absolutely crack me the fuck up means I gotta rec this. I just gotta. Four(I think?) books following the deeply unlikeable Nathaniel and his Djinn Bartimaeus, who just wants to eat humans and have a deeply enjoyable enemies to lovers plotline with his arch rival.

The Magic's Price Trilogy by Mercedes Lackey - Okay I know I’ve recced this before. I will rec it again. This was the very first series I ever read that featured a gay protagonist and I was. Devastated? Reformed? I latched onto Vanyel Ashkevron and I am never letting this depressed emo boy go. Try me, I bite. Seriously, this book was released in the 80s and yet it is still relevant, I still cry - god i LOVE this series SO MUCH. And, MERCEDES LACKEY actually invented unbury your gays, sorry I make the rule on that one. :) Also there are magic talking horses??????? Seriously please read this series I love it so much.

Fire Bringer & The Sight by David Clement-Davies - This is another series that was absolutely formative in my baby lexicon. These are books about magical animals and their inner societal workings and both books address the ideas of good, evil, darkness, compassion and good will, and destiny. I am obsessed with these books, they are some of the most interesting of the genre I’ve read, and so incredibly intricately written. LOVE these books.

Vampire Earth Series by E. E. Knight - The Witcher before it was cool. Sort of but like...there are schools of Cat, Bear, etc and it has COOL VAMPIRES I LOVE THSI SERIES. Basically, earth has been taken over by a race of alien ‘Vampires’ and follows a human involved in the resistance. The writing in this series is...wow. It’s so intricate and interesting and involved. I own the whole series because I love it so much, including the after-series hardback novels. I’m so messy and I love it.

Kindred by Octavia Butler - You know how people are like ‘YOU SHOULD READ OCTAVIA BUTLER!!’ ? You should absolutely do that. This novel is mindblowing and interesting and the pace and narrative are so so so interesting. Heartbreaking, god, horrific. Butler is an amazing writer and this novel, while my personal favorite, is not by any means the only of her books I would recommend. STORIES. STORIES!!!!!!!

Fiction

The Ballad of Barnabas Pierkiel: A Novel by Magdalena Zyzak - This book is so fucking good. It’s imaginative, funny, intelligent....it’s honestly one of the best fiction novels I’ve ever read. Again, dry, absurdist humor, this book sort of reminds me of Terry Pratchett’s style of writing.

The Call of the Wild by Jack London - This is a classic, a true classic. The social commentary of this book is so so good, London’s style flows and, personally, as a dog and animal expert, the anthropomorphisation of Buck and his fellow animals is just so well done. I love this book, it’s quite an easy read, and I reread it at least once a year.

Rolling the R's by R. Zamora Linmark - Okay. Okay okay!!!!!! I gotta take a deep breath about this one. This book is. Yuh. This is a bit younger leaning than the other fictions, focusing almost entirely on high school level characters, however the experiences and commentary is just so so good. Focusing on a diverse group of characters growing up in Hawaii in the 1970′s, this book addresses the intersectionalities of gender, sexuality, race, immigration, education, and how we define who we are. I’m obsessed.

A Separate Peace by John Knowles - A heartbreaking novel about war, innocence, adolescence, and how we hide from our truths. It’s...so good, this book hurts me a LOT okay. The prose is phenomenal, the story is poignant, and it feels like I’m ripping my own heart out with a fishhook every time I finish it.

The Toss of a Lemon by Padma Viswanathan - This is one of those books I half recommend because it’s so good, and half because of the deep wealth of knowledge it presents the reader. The author’s use of her own culture is just....goddddddddd. Intricate and interesting and so delicately included in the narrative that you can feel the love the author has for it. It’s a long read and it took me almost a month to get through reading every day, but god. It’s so soft and amazingly written I both wanted to read it all at once and take my time with it. This is another one that deals with the duality of humanity and how we connect with one another. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!

P.S. Your Cat Is Dead by James Kirkwood Jr. - I love this book I love this book I LOVE THIS BOOK. It’s fucking hilarious, entertaining, I literally laughed out loud at every single chapter. Hilarious and poignant and surprisingly deep, this book literally follows the journey of a man in which literally everything that could go wrong does. It’s fucking hilarious.

I hope that helped and gave you some new books!!! <3

[morkofday]

thank you once again @yibobibo​ for tagging me ♥ even if, like I said, this is pure torture. I have so many sons that I’ve given up on counting them sigh but here goes.

favourite male fictional characters.

I took it that this meant ten so am going with that (tho am not gonna try and put them into order). am also sticking to all the characters I loved this year. and gonna ramble and add gifs so cutting it here. 

1. Liu Sang

The Lost Tomb Reboot/Reunion: The Sound of The Providence

I have so much love for this boy it’s not even healthy. it’s a bit funny tho bc once I started tltr, I didn’t really like him and almost forgot about him as the first season ended. he just felt so annoying and bitter in what I saw him, even if I did get that he had a Tragic BackstoryTM (I felt for him but well. tltr really made him hard to like at first). but then they brought him back in the second season with his sad puppy eyes and inability to handle his thoughts on wu xie and being all touch-starved and pitiful and whatnot and baam, I had the adoption papers ready. he’s wonderful and so strong and so smart and amazing. and liu chang as his actor has been wonderful (and he’s so pretty my god, have you seen him??)

2. Shen Wei

Guardian

never did I expect to just. fall into this hole after a year? I remember what a mess I was when I first watched guardian over a year ago, right after finishing the untamed. I was in shambles even as I knew how it would end. and now I’ve done this all again while also reading the novel and. my love for shen wei, especially bc it’s zhu yilong acting as shen wei? astronomical. I want to write poetry about him and his stupid responsibilities that he chooses to carry silently and his devotion to zhao yunlan and his love for his ppl and his didi and. I hope that one day I manage to write weilan bc I have this one idea and you can come pry it from my cold, dead fingers if it doesn’t get out there (am also super happy about the edit I made bc my god does he deserve at least that)

3. Cloud Strife

Final Fantasy VII

ok so stepping into the video games territory now. I was waiting for the remake like crazy and it was everything to me once the quarantine hit during spring. the game is so beautiful and I felt like I looked at this gorgeous boy once and was ready to give him my heart (tbh am quite sure he owned my heart before I even learned to know him). he is tragic in so many ways (I’ve only scratched the surface of all of his pain I know) and I wish I could just. hug him a lot. he is kind and cares very deeply even if he hates to show it and I love it how remake showed him also just being a human disaster (some of his scenes are just. peak comedy). I would kill for his smile (I have already cried for it a dozen)

4. Geralt of Rivia

The Witcher (The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt)

if there’s one grumpy, brickwall of a man I love, it’s geralt. I affectionately call him “papa wolf” while playing witcher 3 and his voice in it does things to me (I am just so fond of him ok, begone you dirty fuckers). I got introduced to him through the books and adored him in them bc he is so prickly and sarcastic and still so full of love even if he will never admit to it. he is the father figure I wish I could have in real life. (and yes, I’ve seen the tv series (or at least a couple of the first episodes) and it looks stunning but. this is my version of geralt and that’s the hill I will die on)

5. Xiaoge

Zhang Qiling, Daomu Biji (The Lost Tomb 2)

(wow finding a gif for him was a pain, apparently I gotta learn how to gif or?) ah, my dear boy who I’ve ended up just calling xiaoge bc he seems to prefer it over his real name/title/whatever zhang qiling really is. I got introduced to him through tltr where we really didn’t get to know that much about him bc he was just... there. huang junjie was absolutely stunning tho and his soft smiles made me super fond, but only in the lost tomb 2 did I really fall in love with xiaoge as a character. I was surprised tbh bc I didn’t expect it to be this drama? I had so many doubts about the cast in tlt2 but they all delivered! and I think cheng yi’s xiaoge is now my favorite bc he somehow captured that softness and the pain of him? (and we do not talk about that buxun storyline tyvm) tho now that ultimate note is on the way, I gotta say that xiao yuliang does a wonderful job as xiaoge too!

6. Wu Xie

Daomu Biji (Ultimate Note)

(sorry we have to go with a pingxie gif now but maybe it’s only fitting) tbh it’s hard to choose my favorite version of wu xie. I think all of the actors for him have done amazing job showing wu xie in different parts of his life (all of them are very distinct but still feel like the same person) but currently zheng shunxi takes the lead. I really wanted to put the reboot version of him here (bc I love that mature, relaxed and somehow very soft version of him and the angst is phenomenal and the thoughts he has about death... yeah) but I already have zhu yilong’s face here once so :’D wu xie is just one of those characters you cannot not like. he is so strong, so kind, so stubborn, so wonderfully stupid sometimes and in need of careful protection. I also adore it how smart he is and I could listen to him spew history facts for 10 hours straight (even if it was in a tomb full of blood zombies) ♥

7. Jiang Cheng

Jiang Wanyin, The Untamed

my darling boy! my beautiful angry grape! I love him beyond words. I love him in all of his raging, misunderstood, stupid, sassy, constipated, abused, tragic, bitter, big hearted glory. I could write novels about him (and I did and am still writing oh boy) and his love for ppl and his inability to show that love and his loneliness and his issues. I could also write another novel for all of his outfits etc. bc damn, what a fashion king. he is just so great. he owns my soul. he deserves happiness and in this essay I will

8. Isana Yashiro

Adolf K. Weismann, K Project

I rewatched k project this spring bc a) it’s one of my favorite animes ever (it just looks stunning with all the colors) and b) I love yashiro to bits. I remember falling in love with him when I first watched k project many years ago bc he was just so kind and bright. this time though, I ended up seeing another side of him and my god did I cry. he is... so sweet. he cares for others so deeply and is ready to sacrifice so much for them and his love for his two clansmen... yeah. I think I finally saw the tragedy of him too, all the pain and loneliness and insecurity he decides to hide behind his smile and obnoxious personality. he reminded me a lot of myself and watching him made my heart bleed in a good way

9. Qi Tiezui

Ba Ye, The Mystic Nine

(wow am going to riot for the lack of all the gifs hhh) yes, we’re continuing with the dmbj universe that sucked me in big time this year. the drama of the mystic nine wasn’t probably that earth shattering for me as it somehow got boring more than once but I did love ba ye to bits. he was just... so nice? I got it that he was somehow this “comedic relief” in the drama with all of his funny scenes and ridiculous mannerisms but I could see the brilliance of him. he is warm and smart and kind of a romantic too and he cares for all of his friends so deeply? it was also sweet how protective of him his two zhangs were (does that run in the family? the tendency to imprint into one smart but disastrous man and keep him safe? maybe) and I really hope I knew more about him bc he seemed to have a lot of knowledge and a lot of impact to ppl’s lives (I yelled when they mentioned him in ultimate note, I miss him ;;)

10. Dorian Pavus

Dragon Age Inquisition

(yes I’ve been replaying DA:I this year, this counts!) another darling boy! my lovely sass master son! I have so much love for him and his story in DA:I. he is my favorite companion (and his romance is my favorite too, probably obvious in the way am currently romancing him for the third time) and he has given me a lot of strength. the way he stands up against his father, how he’s ready to reform his homeland instead of walking away, how he’s so caring for those he sees struggling... it’s very warming and I feel like I’m safe with him. it feels a bit silly to say that but he really is that comfort character I will seek out when I just want to know am doing fine :’) (and I am so excited to see him again in DA4! probably?)

+ 11. Li Cu

Tomb of the Sea

yes I cheated a bit (with my own rules lol) to fit li cu here. I didn’t really expect to like him or tomb of the sea as much as I did once I started it? I’ve seen leo wu elsewhere before this (battle through the heavens, nirvana in fire) and his face always makes me think about a sad puppy so maybe I just grew fond over li cu instantly bc he was... so hurt? the first episode really slaps you in the face with all of it, showing him being abused, wounded, kidnapped, tortured, used and then just very, very scared and broken. he continues being that throughout the whole drama and I feel like tomb of the sea (or sand sea or sha hai idk) is the darkest and angstiest story in the dmbj universe. I know it deserves to be bc this is a dark time for wu xie but... my darling li cu. I wish him only happiness ;; he was so strong and smart and wonderful in this and it was just so amazing to watch him grow and find his own place in the world just bc he did something himself (even when he got dragged into all of this bc of wu xie) also I support the wu xie adopts li cu -agenda

Honorary mentions: 

Zhang Rishan, Xie Yuchen and Hei Xiazi from DMBJ universe. The Twin Jades of Gusu and Ouyang Zizhen from The Untamed. The Iron Bull and Fenris from Dragon Age games. Thane Krios, Kaidan Alenko and Jaal from Mass Effect games. The whole lot of Assassin’s Creed protagonists (especially Ezio Auditore and Shay Cormac). Adam Parrish and Ronan Lynch from The Raven Cycle. Neil Josten from All For The Game. Eduon and March from The Smoke Thieves. Qiling from L.O.R.D. Critical World. Luo Fei from Detective L (played by Bai Yu). 

well, with this I can really see that I have a thing for those who are tragic :’D I have a thing for grumpy, prickly and antisocial guys or those who hide their pain behind a smile. maybe it’s bc I am somehow both, even if I can’t show my anger or be mean to others and even if I feel like my smile never sticks either. I just find kinship in all of the characters who are on this list. and I feel like I aspire to be as strong and as kind and as loving despite all the pain I’ve been put through.  

thank you, this was so much fun! and sorry I made this so long and so complicated ^^’ but well, there are just way too many male characters I love haha

at the end I want to tag @i-am-just-a-kiddo​ @ashenwren​ @kholran​ @tiesanjiao​ @lan-xichens​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @manhasetardis​ and @lzswy​​ ♥ feel free to do this in your own way or not at all! and thank you if you managed to read through my rambling :’D

[365days365movies]

March 9, 2021: Orpheus (1950) (Part One)

Greek mythology was my first mythological love.

And yes, that is ironically a very cliché thing to say about Greek mythology, since it’s by FAR the most popular and well-known mythology in the Western world, but...what can I say, I’m a sucker for the classics.

When I was 6, my mom got me a copy of the Odyssey, followed by D’Aulaire’s Book of Greek Myths, and that book was my SHIIIIIIIIIIT. From the Titanomachy to the Trojan War, from Decaulion to Daedalus, from the Lernaean Hydra to Ladon, and from Zeus to Dionysus (my second favorite Olympian), I LOVE Greek mythology.

There have been countless adaptations of these stories over the last century of so, some better and more faithful than others. We got Blood of Zeus (which I...genuinely dislike) on Netflix last year, Lore Olympus is a fantastic webcomic and modernized retelling of the universe of stories in general (fuck Apollo, that’s all I have to say), Hercules by Disney is fun (though extraordinarily inaccurate), and who doesn’t like some Percy Jackson (the books, not the movies)?

Today’s entry won’t be the first of the Greek mythology stories this month; after all, it’s DEFINITELY fantasy, so there were going to be a few entries in here. Some will come pretty close to each other later this month, but for this one, we’re jumping forward 10 years from The Thief of Bagdad to 1950. Let’s get back to France, shall we?

Famous for his adaptation of Beauty and the Beast is Jean Cocteau, legendary French surrealist filmmaker. His stylings definitely capture a sort of practical magic, compounded with clever angles and fascinating visual and practical effects. It’s evident with the classic fairy tale, which I would’ve done this month had I not already seen it. So, instead, we’ll be looking at the middle film in a trilogy known as Cocteau’s Orphic trilogy. This is, apparently, the most important one. And that makes sense, since it’s focused upon...

Is Hadestown good? I’m real tempted to find a way to watch it, and it sounds like it’s just up my alley. I’ll probably check it out one of these days.

Orpheus was (maybe) the son of Calliope, the muse of poetry, and Apollo, god of music. Maybe. Parentage differs based on the retelling. No matter the parents, he was renowned for his charm and grace, as well as his voice and music. He was loved by animals, nymphs, and maidens alike. He was invited to be the Bard of Jason’s DnD group (AKA the Argonauts), and used Bardic Performance to inspire his comrades (and also helped them overcome the sirens by singing EVEN LOUDER).

But the one whom he loved most was his wife, Eurydice. Unfortunately, a satyr (AKA horny horned half-goat man) chased her right into a viper’s nest, where she was bitten and died. Orpheus was CRUSHED, and his song was so depressing that even the gods cried. They said, “Dude, go to the Underworld, get back your lady from Hades, please!” And he did.

Hades, the old romantic that he secretly is, agrees to let Eurydice’s soul, on one condition. That he doesn’t look back at her as she follows him out. Orpheus agrees, but the man can’t stop himself from looking back to make sure that she’s there. And she was...and then she wasn’t. So, our sad boi fucked up, and then...well, it’s spotty. 

See, some people say that he stopped worshipping Dionysus (his previous patron), and the wine boi’s female followers tore Orpheus to pieces as punishment. Some say that these same women got a liiiiiiiiiittle too into the Bacchanalia (think orgies, but religious and violent), and ripped him apart in a frenzy. And some say that he only took male lover from then on, and women tore him to pieces for not paying attention to them (also, possible homophobia). You know, it varies. Still, we can agree on the ripped apart by women thing. His head could still sing, and as the women threw his body parts into a river, it sang a song so beautiful that the rocks and branches in the river refused to strike it. His instrument of choice, a lyre, was eventually interred amongst the stars as the constellation Lyra.

The story of a pained artist searching for a lost love and losing her is all over the goddamn place, with the crazy-ass Moulin Rouge being a solid example of it.

But OK, let’s finally begin Orpheus, or Orphée to be more accurate. Gonna be a weird ride, I guarantee it. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

The story starts with a recap of the original myth, and notes that it doesn’t need to be limited  by time and place. This sort of story, after all, could happen anywhere and at any time. And in this case, that time and place are 1950s-era France, where we quickly meet famous poet Orpheus (Jean Marais).

At a café, he meets a friend, the Editor (Henri Crémieux), where they speak on Orpheus’ fame, which is not well-liked in a cafe frequented by poets. Also arriving there is a young drunken poet, Jacques Cégeste (Édouard Dermit), who is accompanied by his patron, known only as...the Princess (María Casares). Come on, guys, can we give our female characters names, please?

Anyway, Jacques quickly gets into a drunken brawl with other patrons, which leads to the arrival of the police at the café. They forcefully arrest him, but before they can, he’s hit by a couple of motorcycles, and potentially killed. The police bring Jacques back to the Princess’ car, with the help of her driver Heurtebise (François Périer). For unknown reasons, she summons Orpheus to help them. He agrees, and goes with them to the hospital.

Or he would be, if they were going there. Instead, as they drive off, Orpheus discovers that Jacques is dead already. They aren’t going to the hospital. Instead, they head to a mysterious mansion, as ominous and oblique poetry plays on the radio. They’re soon accompanied by the men on the motorcycles that killed Jacques, who work for the Princess. The plot fuckin’ THICKENS.

Back at her mansion, they bring the body of Jacques upstairs, much to the confusion of Orpheus, whom the Princess keeps calling stupid whenever he asks questions. However, he’s not proving her wrong, as she immediately convinces him that she’s actually dreaming at the moment. Although...maybe he is?

She sits in front of a mirror, which breaks...somehow. Frustrated, she commands Orpheus to wait there for her to return, as she goes to check on Jacques and her men. Like me, Orpheus is confused. This gets worse for me, though, as the Princess goes to the other room and tells the dead Jacques to get up. AND HE DOES. Well, Jacques’ a zombie, I guess. He identifies the Princess as “his Death”, which she agrees to. She tells him to hold on to her coat, and then...

...I got questions. I GOT QUESTIONS HERE.

They go through the mirror, and the Princess’ henchmen follow, just as Orpheus walks in. He also has questions, and he tries to go through the mirror, to no avail. Completely confused at this point, he passes out against the mirror, alone in the mansion. And then...he’s outside.

Yeah, he’s just outside now, and waiting there is Heurtebise, the chauffeur! Orpheus is freakin’ out, and Heurtebise has no answers for him, but has been told to take him back to town once he...arrived. OK. Still questions.

In town, the disappearance of Orpheus is being discussed by a police inspector, his wife Eurydice (Marie Déa), and her friend Aglaonice (Juliette Gréco). Aglaonice doesn’t seem to like Orpheus very much, as she’s trying to convince Eurydice that he’s cheating on her. And that’s hard to argue, since he was last seen with the Princess. However, just as there’s about to be a scandal reported by a spontaneously appearing journalist, Heurtebise and Orpheus arrive home.

After a rough encounter with the journalist, he arrives home to a relieved Eurydice, and an enraged Aglaonice, whom Orpheus also dislikes heavily. He’s apparently forbidden her from entering his house, and tells her off. The Inspector leaves too, and asks Orpheus to come to his office to discuss the matter of the missing Jacques.

Eurydice reminds Orpheus that Aglaonice is dangerous, as she runs...the League of Women. Well...I think we know what role Aglaonice is going to play by the end of this. Her and her League of Bacchanalian Women, get me? Yikes. Anyway, the conversation turns into an argument, when the EXTREMELY ornery Orpheus basically just storms off, being a DICK to his poor wife. And when he goes upstairs to his room, he actually sneaks out of the window.

Meanwhile, Heurtebise comes into the house to offer an alibi to the pained Eurydice. While she doesn’t quite believe it, the two share some time together and seem to bond. However, when he smells gas from the stove, Heurtebise lets it slip that he committed suicide by using a gas stove. He covers it up before Eurydice notices the slip-up, but...OK. So, “the Princess” is death. Going by the traditional Greek myth, she’s some form of psychopomp, and the world beyond the mirror is the Underworld, I can only assume. OK...I can dig it.

Orpheus, meanwhile, is at the car, listening to the strange radio poetry and writing it down. The, uh, “Princess” is busy as well. Like a ghost, she walks into the household and watches Orpheus as he sleeps. A narration refers to her as Orpheus’ death. Funny, I’m pretty sure that’s going to be Aglaonice’s role.

Two days later, Orpheus is increasingly obsessed with the poetry from the mysterious radio and its odd messages. While Eurydice seems to mock this obsession, Orpheus also seems to be far too enraptured in it. But, interestingly, the messages seem to be coming from nowhere known. However, it’s all beginning to affect their marriage greatly.

On the phone, the Inspector comes calling, and Eurydice asks Heurtebise to answer the phone. He does so, and soon after, we see the phone float into place, as if placed there by a ghost. That’s confirmed as Heurtebise phases to the outside from nothing, where he meets Orpheus and informs him of the message. The two decide to head to the Inspector in his car, rather than the mysterious talking car.

While Orpheus goes through town, looking for the Princess rather than the Inspector, there’s something that I wanted to mention here. Call it an interpretation. Apparently, Heurtebise is often considered an angel by critics and interpreters. However, I’m gonna suggest that he’s actually supposed to be a representation of Hermes, the messenger god and a psychopomp who escorted souls to the Underworld. Not sure about the Princess yet, but Cocteau apparently never meant for her to be portrayed as actual death. Interesting.

Meanwhile, at the Inspector’s office, both Aglaonice and Orpheus’ poet friends (supposedly) are accusing Orpheus of being involved in Jacques’ disappearance. The Inspector turns them away, just as Heurtebise and Orpheus reconvene in town. While Orpheus didn’t find the Princess, Heurtebise says that she came by, saying that he could stay with the married couple for now.

Speaking of the Princess, we see her at night, staring over Orpheus. And her eyes are...strange. They seem artificial, and it bothers the EVER-LOVING SHIT out of me. And the whole affair isn’t helping Eurydice either, as she’s tired of Orpheus’ obsession with the car, and is planning on going to Aglaonice for advice. Heurtebise tries to stop her from doing so, but she insists. But when she goes...the motorcyclists come for her. And she’s dead. As proven when the Princess arrives through the mirror.

Alongside her comes Jacques, acting as the Princess’ servant. She notes to him that their work isn’t easy, and couldn’t be done if she were dressed in the way the humans portray her. So, she is seemingly Death, or at least an aspect of Death. Obviously, as we’re talking about the Greek story, we can assume that she’s meant to be Hades in particular. But, we’ll see. It’s also confirmed, by the way, that the mysterious messages are indeed Jacques’ poetry, recited by him on the radio waves from beyond the grave. Neat.

Heurtebise is clearly upset with what’s just happened to Eurydice. He asks if the Princess actually had orders to kill Eurydice. She avoids the question, and guesses correctly that Heurtebise has fallen in love with Eurydice. He confirms this, and counters with the fact that the Princess has seemingly fallen in love with ORPHEUS. The plot fucking THICKENS.

Good place to pause, I think. Halfway mark and all. See you in Part Two!

[juwon-ah-moved]

i was tagged by the wonderful ellis @serannes thank u!! <3

rule: list 3-5 snippets of literature/media that live in your head rent-free to the point where you have them memorized; write them down from memory, no cheating allowed!

well okay my memory sucks but i’ll try my best!! under the cut because this got long

“chanon always knew someone had to take the blame. he knew, but it didn’t stop him. it wasn’t because of his idealism. he knew that your future would be fine if he was willing to ruin his instead.” (the gifted, ep 12) yes this is the first thing that came to mind and yes i am sad constantly. i only watched this sort of recently but i rewatch it like... every other day. it just... truly destroys me that chanon was willing to ruin his future, his life... for pom. “will you take the blame for me?” YES HE WILL POM. HE WILL. i am so devastated don’t talk to me

"days i feel like a human being, while other days i feel more like a sound. i touch the world not as myself but as an echo of who i was.” (on earth we’re briefly gorgeous, ocean vuong) honestly this whole entire book is filled with quotes that make me ache and that heal me at the same time, but this one always stuck with me. i feel it so much. i don’t even know how to describe it, and honestly i always have a hard time explaining how ocean vuong makes me feel, but that’s okay because his words say everything that needs to be said. if it speaks to you, you will understand.

“i colored outside the lines i colored outside the boxes                                 like freedom” (punching the air, ibi zoboi and yusef salaam) this book is so SO good, i read it all in pretty much one sitting and it was so powerful and beautifully written. it’s a novel in verse and it’s about a black 16yo boy who gets convicted for a crime he didn’t commit and about how he gets through this awful time in his life thanks to art and finding himself in poetry. it’s just... so emotional and i truly think everyone should read it, yusef salaam, one of the writers, is one of the central park five and he speaks from personal experience. this line in particular stuck with me because it really captures the main message of the book imo, that the world, we try to put black people into boxes and we don’t allow them the freedom of being, doing what they want. and in this book the main character wants to write but (almost) no one thinks that’s what a black boy should do, they want to trap him inside the lines they drew for him and the book is his journey trying to “color outside the lines”. i just think it’s such a wonderful analogy.

“i don’t want an easy life, i want a meaningful one.” (girls of paper and fire, natasha ngan) i simply adored this book when i read it and i’ll be honest, i don’t remember everything super well, it’s been a while, but this line? absolutely amazing, will always stay with me. i love my girls!! if you want sapphic asian girls overthrowing a cruel king... read this. (it’s a series, 2nd book is out, the author is working on book 3. do check out the trigger warnings tho)

“i’m sure we’re taller in another dimension / you say we’re small and not worth the mention / you’re tired of moving, your body’s aching / we could vacay, there’s places to go / clearly this isn’t all that there is / can’t take what’s been given / but we’re so okay here, we’re doing fine” (white ferrari, frank ocean) can’t remember the couple of lines before “we’re free to roam” rip but anyway, THIS SONG. it’s one of my favorite songs ever and i don’t think i will ever tire of it. and the way the song transitions into this last part... chef’s kiss, truly. nothing will ever top “i’m sure we’re taller in another dimension, you say we’re small and not worth the mention” LIKE. !!!!!!!!!!! i don’t know how to explain how much i love this song, please just go listen to it

i tag @wjmild, @teh-ohaew, @petekaos, @planthusbands, @gawincaskeyy and @wongyuqhei only if you want to!!

[blackypanther9]

Part 19 - Wrong Move...

Your POV....

I went outside and back into the room, where Loki was in the glass. As I was there....he wasn't in the cell anymore. I panicked.

"Loki ?", I asked into the room....nothing.

"Loki...this isn't funny.", I told the room.

Suddenly the door opens and I turned around. I saw Fury enter, he looked at me.

"Loki is in my office. He is waiting for you and wants to know where the scepter is.", he told me.

I nodded and ran out of the room to the office. As I got in I saw Loki sitting on a chair, waiting.

"Hey...Lucie. Do you know where the scepter is ?", he said.

"It's in the lab... The boys are investigating it."

"Can I look at it ?"

"Why ? It's the reason you killed people. It controlled you."

"I just want to see it."

I got closer and stared into his eyes...still green. Nah ! Fine.

"Alright...fine...", I gave in.

He smiled at me and got up. I went with him into the lab and he saw the scepter immediately. He went closer and....no....no !

"DON'T TOUCH IT !!!"

.....too late....he drew his finger over it and he shivered.

'No....What have I done ?'

He took it in his hand, turned around and had blue eyes again. I stared at him.

"I wanted to see if it was the scepter...Guess it was.", he said, smiling.

I got in fighting position. He attacked me and wanted to hit my head with the scepter. I dodged. I ran out of the room and into the room, where his cell was. I opened the doors and made an illusion on it. It was looking like it is still closed. He came inside. He still smiled, then grimaced.

"Is the power not working ? Oh you poor mortal.", he said sarcastically.

He went to me and was going to touch me with the scepter. I took a hold of it, lifted it with Loki up and threw him in his cell. I had the scepter in my hand and Loki was in the cell again. I made a move with my hand and the door closed. He tried to run out, but he was too slow and ran against the glas.

"Why did you idiot do that ?! Look at you !! Odin will kill you for that ! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT ?!", I screamed at him.

"I do. And I honestly don't care.", he said smiling at me.

I shook my head, turned on my heel and went to the door outside. He chuckled, before I was on the door. I stopped in my tracks and turned around, to face him.

"What are you laughing at ?", I asked.

"Look at you and your great friends. You won't be having this kind of freedom forever.", he said amused.

'So much for he is finally free and trusting him and all...'

I rolled my eyes, turned around and left. I heard Thor calling me and running to me. I stopped, turned around and looked at him annoyed.

"What, Thor ?"

"Why is Loki in his cell again and you have the scepter ?", he asked.

"Loki touched the scepter, to know if the scepter was the reason of his sudden change. And it is. He is again under the control of it. And no, I won't ask Banner again, to knock the shit out of him. I am sick of it."

Thor's eyes widen in shock. I turned around and went into my room, locking the door behind me. I fell into my bed and hugged Loki's blanket....again. I hit the wall, I was facing and I broke my hand. ....Right....I put my wristbands on, in case I do something like that...

"Lady Lucie ? Please open the door...", I heard Thor knocking.

I hid my face in Loki's blanket and screamed.

"Leave me the fuck alone, Thor !"

"Why ? You are sad. I want to change it."

"Then go away !"

There was silence. After a moment of silence I heard footsteps, getting further away. A few minutes later I fell asleep, still tightly hugging Loki's beloved blanket.

In my dream....

I was standing in Loki's room and looked outside the window. I looked down at a book. I didn't saw any writing on the cover. I sat down on Loki's bed and opened the book. The first pages, I saw nothing. Then I turned a page again and gasped in shock. There was a drawing. Not just any drawing... It was Loki killing Odin, Thor and Frigga. I let the book fall to the ground and wanted to stand up. But I couldn't. Out of nowhere, came out of the book blood. I lifted my legs and laid on Loki's bed. Suddenly the door opened. I turned my head, slowly, afraid of seeing Loki in blood or any dead person in the doorway. But instead I saw Loki, clean and well. He came to me in a rush as he saw my face in shock.

"Dest, what's wrong ?", he asked worried.

"The book....please tell me it was a prank of yours.", I said pointing to the book on the floor.

He looked at it and then at me. He picked it up and opened it.

"I don't know what you are talking about...The book is fully normal. I swore that I won't play mean tricks on you...and I stand to this promise. What did you see, dear ?", he asked worried.

"I saw a scary painting of you killing Thor, Frigga and Odin. I dropped it and suddenly, out of nowhere, came out blood of it. Please tell me you pranked me !"

He stared at you as you stared at him.

"Darling...don't you know anymore ?", he asked.

"W-what do you mean ?!"

"You drew this picture and burned it after that. It was 5 years ago. And......I am....dead.", he answered.

I stared at him.

"But you ARE here !!", I screamed.

He turned away from me, his back facing me and as he turned back to me, I saw his eyes were white like snow, no green orbs and no black pupils... I screamed and jumped from the bed.

"WHAT HAPPENED ?! WHO DID THIS TO YOU ?!", I screamed in panic.

"Don't you remember ? He did this to me."

He pulled his collar down and I saw his neck blue and purple as if he got strangled to death. Suddenly his head fell to his right, with a sick cracking noise. I screamed in shock again. His neck was definitely broken.

"LOKI ! YOUR NECK !!!"

"I know. He killed me, 5 years ago..."

"W-WHAT ?!"

He stood up, walked to me, took my hand and kissed it. He used his right hand to move his head to its actual position and pulled his collar up again. He pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek. Then he let go.

"When will that happen ?", I asked.

"You have 4 - 6 years left.", Loki answered.

I was frozen in shock.

"You need to wake up. You don't belong here. Wake up... I will see you."

I shook my head. He sighed.

"I am sorry.", he said.

Before I could ask him he was a dark creature and jumpscared me.

End of dream....

I startled awake and sat up. As I woke up it was 2PM. I fell asleep at 2 AM today. I sighed in relief, but couldn't forget the nightmare... I stood up, grabbed a poetry book, not caring how I looked like right now and went into the room with Loki in his cell. He looked at me and I teleported the book into his cell. I was relieved that he wasn't dead. He took the book and smiled at me, after he read the title.

"Thank you, Lucie.", he said.

"No problem........Could you stand right in front of me as close as the glass allows you ?"

He looked at me confused.

"And why should I do that ?", he asked.

"Please ? I just wanna check something."

He hesitated but did as I asked him. I got as close as I could and looked at his throat. Nothing. Good. I stepped back.

"Okay thanks. I need to go now, I am busy... Goodnight Frosty."

He then stepped back too. Looking at me still confused.

"Goodnight...", he replied.

I walked outside and back into my room. After 20 minutes the ship, or whatever it is, rattled and I felt like we were falling and my feeling didn't trick me. Because I fell from my bed onto the wall to my left. Hard. It almost knocked the air out of me. I stood up and ran outside. Luna was with Tony the whole time, I was worried for her and what happened. Tony ran as fast as he could with Luna in his arms, as soon as he spotted me.

"Take her !", he screamed.

"What happened ?!"

"We got attacked ! I have to go !", he answered and ran away.

"TONY !"

He stopped and turned around to look at me.

"BE CAREFUL AND GOOD LUCK !!", I shouted to him.

He smiled, nodded and then ran off again. Luna pulled out her claws and clung onto me. I ran into my room and stayed there for good 12 minutes. I then pulled out a collar for Luna, put it on her and pressed a button. She now will stand like that even if she is upside down. Yes a gravity collar for animals... I am clever. Then I ran out and heard a gunshot in Loki's cellroom. I opened the door, to see Agent Phil Coulson laying there with a weird weapon in his lap. His body and suit had his own blood everywhere.

I ran back out, I searched for an first aid kit. As I found one and returned, Director Fury was already there and Phil was dead. I stopped dead in my tracks. I let the aid kit fall and Fury looked me in the eyes. He was mad.

"He and on our side now...huh ?", he asked angry.

"Mister Fury...I can explain myself. I swear ! He-"

"NO. You lied to us. You said he was good now. Bruce said he can be trusted again. Why did you lie ? Huh ?! Answer me damn it !!"

I flinched everytime he yelled at me. It wasn't me who let him out. But it was my fault of being too late, of him touching the scepter again.

"Thanks to you, he escaped ! Thanks to you, Agents died ! Thanks to you, we almost all died !", he yelled at me.

I got angry and looked at him. Now it was my turn.

"YOU THINK I DID IT ON PURPOSE ?! LISTEN HERE ODIN NUMBER TWO, HE WANTED TO SEE WHERE THE FUCKING SCEPTER WAS AND I SHOWED HIM !! HE RAN HIS FINGER OVER IT AND IT PUT HIM UNDER CONTROL AGAIN !!! HE WANTED TO TEST THAT ! BEFORE I REALIZED WHAT HIS DAMN PLAN WAS IT WAS TOO LATE AND I LURED HIM INTO A TRAP AGAIN !! I LOCKED HIM UP AGAIN !! I WASN'T THE ONE WHO FREED HIM !! I WASN'T IT IN THE FIRST PLACE AND IN THE SECOND PLACE ALSO !! INSTEAD OF ALWAYS JUDGING ME, YOU SHOULD HEAR THE PEOPLE OUT FIRST INSTEAD OF JUST BLAMING THEM !! YOU GOD DAMN MORONS !!!"

He stared at me in shock and respect, but I was too angry to see it. I turned on my heel and ran out into my room, locked the door and packed my stuff. I am going to leave now ! I knew it was a big mistake in the first place. Why didn't I listen to my feeling ?!

Part 20

Masterlist with all Chapters of this Story click here !  

[milky-mochi]

before you (2) | cyj

genre: nerd! yeonjun, nerd! reader, aged up! yeonjun, college! au, boyfriend! yeonjun

pairing: choi yeonjun x reader

summary: falling in love with choi yeonjun was like breezing through the chapters of a book, with highlights of him bookmarked in your head.

listen to: 🎶 me after you - paul kim 🎶

chapters: intro | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

the first time you realised you liked yeonjun, you couldn’t believe you had been blind to it for so long.

four months had passed since that first day of library club. since then, you and yeonjun formed a friendship you had come to depend on. it started out by sitting next to each other during lectures. then, it evolved into study calls, which turned into talking on the phone for hours. at the height of it all, your weekly study sessions.

thursdays were reserved for your time with yeonjun, when you both would sit at the cute little cafe across the road and pour over your books. misery felt a little less bad when done with another person.

initially, you were just there for the friendship. the study sessions became a source of comfort. the both of you were working hard to keep your reputation afloat, and yeonjun was the only one who understood your struggles. he felt your pain and your joy. there was sincere companionship in this boy that you had never found in anyone before.

eventually, these meetings meant more and more to you. they became the highlight of your day, before climbing its way into becoming the highlight of your week. before you knew it, you depended on it so much that just thinking about it brought you excitement.

but you didn’t even realise it then. you did, however, in one study session.

one thursday, your professor asked to see you after class. at first, you didn’t want to go for it. you were waiting anxiously to go see yeonjun instead. the temptation to give your professor an excuse and run off was overwhelming, but he did mention giving you some good news, and the overachiever in you had to give in.

picking up your phone, you speedily dialed yeonjun’s number. he picked up after only three rings of the dial tone, startling you. in the background, you heard the sound of cars driving by, indicating that yeonjun was already off campus.

“hey y/n! i’ll be there in a few, i’m walking over now!”

“hey yeonjun, i’m so sorry, i’m gonna be late. my professor has something to tell me so he asked me to meet him after class. i’ll probably be like, 15 minutes.”

you braced yourself for his reaction, expecting his voice to fall in disappointment or disapprovement and your heart to twist in pain. instead, his chirpy voice rang in your ears. “oh it’s okay don’t worry about it! i hope it’s good news?”

you sighed in relief, releasing a breath you didn’t even realise you were holding. “he slipped that it was regarding a new opportunity, so it should be good?”

“hell yeah! go get that thing! whatever it is! i’ll wait for you at the cafe, yeah?” yeonjun said.

you laughed before humming in agreement. seeing your professor bidding you to come over, you ended the call and made your way over to his desk.

“hi professor, you wanted to see me?”

“right, y/n,” your professor started, gathering a stack of papers, “you know about the praestantia award right?”

everyone knew what the praestantia award was. it was the most prestigious scholarship a person your age could get. the scholarship was a guaranteed ticket to all the embellishments on your portfolio. all the opportunities you were dying for would easily be within your reach.

“yes of course, sir.”

“well it’s nomination period, and the english faculty has decided to nominate you under the language category,” he said, handing you an envelope. “i’ve emailed you the portal for the application, and these are the resources you’ll need to complete your application. thank you for all your hard work, y/n.”

receiving the envelope with a nod, you smiled graciously at your professor. your heart was beating out of your body with excitement. all your hard work had finally paid off into something you could be proud of. as soon as you saw your professor leave, you scooped your bag out and dashed out of the lecture theatre, heading straight for the cafe.

after running at top speed, you reached the cafe. grabbing the handles of the glass front doors, you swung them open. inside, yeonjun sat comfortably, staring down at his books. a single earbud was in his ear as he picked his pen up to write something down. his coffee sat patiently beside his pencil case.

“hey yeonjun i’m so sorry i’m late,” you sighed, sliding into your seat. after placing your bag down, you took another look at the table. raising your eyebrows, you asked, “what’s all this?”

yeonjun flashed you a sheepish smile. “well, you said you were gonna get good news, so i wanted your coffee to be here by the time you were. i got you a cake too!” he said, gesturing to the second drink and plate in front of him. “i got your favourite, hot white chocolate mocha, and the red velvet cake. i even got them to add marshmallows into the coffee, since we come here so often.”

you felt like melting, like said marshmallows were melting into your mocha.

he remembered your order. not only did he remember it perfectly, he remembered the coffee you drank for celebration, which was different from the coffee you drank when you were sad (a cold brew with coconut milk and extra sugar, yeonjun remembered that too).

“yeonjun, oh my goodness, thank you so much,” you gushed, “how much was the coffee and the cake? i’ll pay you back-”

“don’t worry about it,” yeonjun waved, melting you with yet another smile, “my treat. you deserve this, y/n.”

shit.

it was at that moment awareness knocked on the door of your mind. everything fell in place: all the stolen glances, all your smiles at the thought of him. this was the moment you realised your oblivion melted away to reveal what you had been blind to: you liked choi yeonjun.

it was, however, a very weird moment for you to realise. it was nothing like all the love scenes you had read in your books. usually the female lead came to this epiphany when the male lead hugged her in the spur of the moment, or when she got jealous of another girl, or even when he brushed his hand against hers to reach for something.

but no. you realised you liked yeonjun because he bought you coffee and a cake.

but it really did mean a lot to you. it meant so much that yeonjun cared for you enough to want to celebrate your good news, without even knowing what it was for. he made you feel seen. so, maybe, it wasn’t that weird at all.

“thank you, yeonjun,” you thanked him once again.

he smiled and told you to try the cake. you complied, picking up the fork and scraping a piece off its side. when you tasted it, your face lit up. yeonjun laughed at your smile and offered you a napkin to wipe the cream cheese frosting from the corner of your mouth.

over cake and coffee, you talked instead of studying, for the first time this semester. usually, your conversations would unfold on the way to the bus stop afterwards, and on the bus home. but that day was not a usual day, given the two new pieces of information that had shaken your world. that day, the both of you had synced mentally, subconsciously aware of the fact that both of you wanted companionship, and not to study.

you talked for a long time, about anything and everything. about all the weird times you’d experienced together: the time you caught two people making out during library club, the time your professor brought his dog to class, the time an old lady asked you guys for a recommendation on the cakes and then bought you said cake. you talked until every drop of coffee had been sipped and the white plate by your side held nothing but maroon crumbs.

once yeonjun realised that you were both finished, he asked, “by the way, what did your professor want to tell you just now?”

“oh,” you said, mouth full of your last bite of cake. you swallowed it before continuing with a proud smile staining your face. “he told me the english faculty is nominating me for the praestantia award. under the language category!”

yeonjun let out a laugh, a mixture of surprise, happiness and pride. he put his hand up, offering you a high five. “y/n that’s incredible! you deserve it so much!”

smiling brightly, you high fived yeonjun. in his excitement, yeonjun held your hand and shook it as he commended you on your achievement. he gushed about all the opportunities it would bring you, about how high you could fly with that award. he didn’t even realise your hand in his.

a blush crept up on your cheeks as you felt yeonjun’s fingers on your. how else could you respond when the guy you liked held your hand, and didn’t even realise it?

it took yeonjun a while, but when he did realise, he pulled his hand away, the same way you did the first time you placed your hand on his shoulder during library club. under his breath, he muttered a sorry as he darted his gaze away from you. you swore you could have seen a light pink dust his cheeks too.

yeonjun cleared his throat to try clearing the awkwardness lingering in the air. “well you did amazing y/n. i’m so proud of you! we should go celebrate.”

your ears perked up at his words. he wanted to celebrate your achievement? with just the two of you? your heart picked up speed as you nodded meekly, unwilling to reveal what you were actually thinking.

“where do you wanna go?” yeonjun asked, almost nervously, as he placed his hands on the table.

“the new bookshop across town,” you answered, almost too quickly. “i heard they have cats in it, and they publish their own poetry. they publish their books with the binding i like.”

“the ones with a wide margin before the text starts?” yeonjun asked. he didn’t know why he did, if he was being honest. of course he remembered your favourite type of book binding. you liked it that way because then you could read without creasing the spine of the book.

delighted that yeonjun remembered such a little thing, you nodded with spritely energy. “and they use e.b. garamond!”

looking at you geeking over the books, yeonjun laughed and promised to bring you there over the weekend. it excited you to no end. but you had to chastise yourself for being unabashedly thrilled to go to the bookstore with him. your heart swelled with unknown and unfamiliar feelings, categorizable only by whatever you had read in books. and yet, you told yourself that your life wasn���t a romance novel. this crush would go like all the ones you had before. it would result in a one-sided pining for someone who would never like you back. you told yourself not to get too ahead of yourself and to cut all this crush stuff out. yeonjun could never like you back.

but little did you know, yeonjun’s heart resounded with the same feelings for you.

---

next chapter

[mochuelovelli]

ASOUE AU? ASOUE AU. Pt 1 (Characters)

Okay so I just posted a little doodle I did for an A Series of Unfortunate Events AU that I had been thinking about ever since I realized that Esmé was obviously Magica's VA (which was 3 days ago so oop). I don't have all the characters figured out right now (mostly bc quite frankly there aren't really enough adults that act so... neglectful towards the kids in ducktales). I'll list the ones I am pretty concrete on VS the ones I'm unsure or ones that I "reimagined" due to not everyone fitting perfectly in this world.

Characters that are Definite:

Glomgold as Count Olaf: Think about it, horrible actor/cosplayer (yes thats what he is). Both obsessed about riches, revenge and are generally incompetent. Really, Olaf is much more wicked in the ASOUE series imo (bc even tho Glomgold wants to kill Scrooge and steal his money. This anger only extends his wards if he wishes to use them against Scrooge and is less keen on the murdering of kids. Notice I said LESS). Not 100% if I want him to be as...well explicit as Olaf can be at times. Especially his characterization in the Bad Beginning if you know what I mean (pst it's child marriage)

Magicia DeSpell as Esmé Squalor: Like I said, this is a no brainer. She has the stage performance of Magicia with a bit of Mark Beaks Mom (forget her name) mixed in. Probably would downplay her love for fashion and replace it with an obsession with the occult. I would also not have her be obsessed with Glomgold, its more in character for Glomgold to be obsessed with her anyhow. It is also possible bc I tend to believe she is a more compelling villian in canon that she might take the place of Glomgold on the Island in "The End". But I also plan for Scrooges Number One Dime to replace the Sugar bowl so, maybe not.

Doofus Drake as Calmanita Splats: Duh, spoiled brat who is very creepy and probably has parents that want them dead? Instead of wanting to sing all the time he mainly wants to wreak things/people. He still definitely dresses up tho into a hodgepodge of things. It always changes and Glomgold is always annoyed by this but he likes him more than Magicia. She definitely wants him dead just like Olaf in the series (she really hates kids).

Duckworth as Larry your waiter: Yeah not much competition for this role. It was either him or Launchpad. Duckworth is too perfect for this role and he honestly will play a better spy than canon Larry. If I ever write it out a lot of the "fight scenes" and anime-esque "explaining how I fooled you" dialogue will definitely be reworked but still present. I will however not keep out the main theme of neglect or ignorance with the adults, they will still fail in that regard as always but will just not literally stand there and tell Olaf "We finally caught you, now let me explain why we are so smart oh no you set something on fire again". I mean...maybe for a Mr. Poe but not the VFD. Or...SHUSH I should say but more on that later (or in another post who knows?)

Scrooge McDuck as Lemony Snicket (sorta): Okay so OBVIOUSLY we can't have our "Lemony" have the hots for the McDuck siblings mom (yes another thing I must explain oh boy). Scrooge will still be gilted in love by, of course Goldie though I am still not 100% if she should play part of the the role of Kit Snicket (again NOT related to Scrooge) or should she be someone else entirely. Scrooge is basically the reason everything is happening in this AU just like the canon Lemony but writes sad letters to Donald and Della as well as Goldie. As you might of well guessed, Scrooge's Fortune is also the riches the McDuck's have.

Fethry Duck as Dr. Monty: Of course a snake lover will become a marine lover in this AU! Also of COURSE Mitzy will play the roles of the incredibly deadly viper AND the great unknown! Fethry and Dr. Monty not being mentioned by their family but also too enthralled with their studies to care all that much (but seriously thats fucked up ducktales). Totally made for this role. As far as setting goes this will be where the siblings will be underwater first but since the series already has plently of aquatic locals I will probably swap out the Lake Lacamose story with Peru or the Galapagos. Speaking of...

Ms. Quackfaster as Aunt Josephine: For narrative purposes it would make sense that Ms. Quackfaster would lose her edge as a brave and bold woman. For what exact reason I am still trying to figure out. Not sure if I still want to keep the "Ike" storyline, maybe she just got really spooked by FOWL. Maybe some creature from the Galapagos ate her leg or something.

Ma Beagle as Dr. Orwell: This particular role was sort of hard for me to cast due to the fact that Dr. Orwell is older and romantically involved with Olaf (at least its sorta there). I really didn't want to give this role to Owlson bc other than she isn't a bad person, she is also way too young. Ma Beagle already has a similar motivation im canon to want to reclaim Duckburg as Beagleburg so the Terrible Mills plot to frame the B for causing a fire in order to have control over the mill is very in line with Ma. I originally wanted the Beagle Boys be working in the Mill but since I am changing the setting to Egypt, I decided to use the people stuck in the pyrimid (idk what they are actually called) and will either use Amulet, Launchpad or Dijin as Cookie

Characters that are Mixed with others:

Huey Duck as the Narrative Role of Violet B.: I mostly imagined(?) the kid characters in a approximation of set characters from the books/series. For this reason, Huey plays the ROLE of Violet Baudelaire so that he can take the "inventor" occupation. I went back and forth on finding who would have Violet's quirk of using an object to help her think. My mind originally went to Webby since she has a bow and I wanted Huey's obsession with the Incomplete History of Secret Organizations to take the place of his JWG. However I reworked it so that Huey's JWG would act as Violet's ribbon with him having to flip through his beat up (and slightly burnt) journal to find a quick solution or just to calm his nerves. Something that applies to all the triplets and twins is that their last names are changed to "McDuck" mostly bc it sounds better that they are later called the "McDuck Murders" instead of the "Duck Murders" as well as Scrooges edited role in the kids lives. He has a mix of Klaus' social awkwardness and habit of talking at length about his special interests to whoever will listen. Huey is also the one who gets hypnotized in the Miserable Mill ep.

Louie Duck as the Narrative Role of Sunny B.: Pretty sure I swapped Louie and Webby for this role in my first post but whatever. I wanted to confusingly change Klaus' role into a "Charmer" or "smooth talker" (obviously still a work in progress) since I felt that Huey in DuckTales canon was always well researched as well a good mechanic and having two characters who pretty much fit the same role was... redundant. I also wanted to really make Webby's Sunny much more inline with her notorious/abnormal fighting abilities. However, I realized that instead of changing Klaus' role I should just change Sunny's characterization since I would have to rework it anyways since she was a baby. I also got the idea from recently rewatching the series and saw Sunny basically trick her way out of being trapped with the Hook handed man (i.e. Fernald). I will instead make Louie's role as what he functionally is in DuckTales (the guy who can talk his way out of anything). He would probably also say his occupation is "Defense Attorney" or something along those lines. He is also the one who gets captured the most but not by much. However while he still has Sunny's sarcasm, he also has Klaus' inherit skeptism and distrust of adults.

Webby Vanderquack as the Narrative Role of Klaus B.: Like I said in Louie's segment, Webby is changed to Klaus or more accurately the "Researcher" of the group. She is often the one who stays up late, researching ways to get out of Glomgold's schemes. Unlike Klaus though, she has more of the optimism of Violet but might not put as much belief into all authority as Huey might. She still has role models that she looks up to but isn't against bending the rules. She also unfortunately takes Violet's role of becoming "Olaf's bride" in the Bad Beginning. In the story she has always lived with the McDucks but didn't take their name and still had Mrs. B (until she was around 10, she was 12ish when the fire happened). However, she is still in the McDuck Will and therefore Glomgold hatches a plan to use her to get the fortune. She also tricks him by signing her name "Vanderduck" or "McDuck" instead of Vanderquack to make the marriage null in void. She is also a mix of Sunny since she is generally the most physically capable out of the children.

Dewey Duck as the Narrative Role as Quigley Quagmire: Okay honestly after a rewatch, I don't exactly know what makes Duncan and Quigley that different from each other. I'm pretty sure Duncan is the Klaus of his siblings but whatever. Dewey mostly just 1/2 of the reveal that two people survived the fire during the Carnival segment (which is changed to an underground wrestling theme for reasons to be explained). I am fairly certain that during the last part of the Village of Fowl Devotees I want Dewey be the one left behind with Webby and Lena that way we can have more time spent with him and Weblena/ Magicia v Lena drama. Dewey's occupation would be "Comedian/Host/Actor" . He also is the one the adults ignore during the first half and will be the subject of Triplet/only child jokes that the Quagmires face.

Gosalyn Mallard as the Narrative Role of Duncan Quagmire: Okay so like, no she isn't related or adopted by the Quagmires

Lena Saberwing as the Narrative Role of Isadora Quagmire: c'mon both these kids like poetry. Literally I can think of no other DuckTales kid that likes that (other than Webby but that was more of her liking Lena's stuff). She will still have her background as Magica's niece and might take some of the role of Fernald where he gets redeemed by betraying Olaf/saving Sunny. I am unsure by what extent though as she isn't going to be a henchperson of Glomgold or Magica. It might be that she is uses morally questionable ways to get what she wants/needs. Maybe she is "good" but has to commit a terrible act similar to how the Baudelaires have to burn down the carnival.

Characters that I am uncertain about or straight up don't have someone in that role:

Violet Saberwing as the Narrative Role of Fiona Widdershins: Like Fiona, Violet was also originally distrusted by a part of the cast (in this AU, it probably be Webby and/or Louie as Huey catches feelings lol). She is also obsessed with the occult not fungus and has to save probably Louie from losing his soul or something (wip). Violet more than any of the main cast of kids will probably act more like her canon self since she is naturally straight forward and booksmart. She probably gets forced to stay with Glomgold until her and Lena can escape again. Also since I didn't want it to be another underwater local and wanted it to relate to DuckTales17 a bit more closely I thought it be better if they were in the sky. Maybe Violet got the Sun chaser or maybe even the Spear of Selene. Maybe instead of going to look for their dads (since they are dead oof) they come back at The End to tell the McDuck Siblings et all that they might of found something...or someone important.

Boyd as the Narrative Role of Friday: This is definitely more of a stretch as really he is only Friday because in role only because I want him at the Island at The End so that he can save the siblings from whatever organic incident happens since he is still an android. I previously thought he could also fit the role of Fernald since he could go through a redemption arc easier due to him sorta going through one in the show. Its not out of the realm of possibility that Glomgold could have reprogrammed him to obey him (he might still do something similar I haven't figured it out 100%).

Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera as the narrative role of Hector: He probably won't faint as much as Hector but he will have to be pushed by the kids to be confident in himself during the Vile Village (which will probably change to a Capital city since I plan to rework FOWL into this). Maybe its similar to a military academy which makes having a set of rules make sense. Its also possible that Fenton escapes with some of the kids in the Sunchaser by the end of this.

Steelbeak as the Narrative Role of Fernald Widdershins: I mainly chose him because Steelbeak and Hookhanded man both most clearly are shown to be sympathic antagonists. They are still functionally villians, much more so than any of the children like Boyd or Lena who, yeah, have done bad things but in one case wasn't given the freewill to decide for himself or was but when she decided to stand up for herself she was literally tortured and had her freedom taken away (more so than in the beginning since. Steelbeak would, like Fernald, be making a choice as an adult man to be apart of a mad man's troop and was harden enough to commit murder if it meant he could impress his boss. But because he is not related to (by blood or otherwise) any protagonist I struggle to know where to put him. I might still have him defect during the end of what would have been the Grim Grotto ep and comes back with the Saberwings at The End. Maybe he brings Gosalyn back after finding her at some point, maybe he dies somewhere towards The End. Not sure.

Gladstone/Ghost of Christmas Past/News Reporter Lady as the Narrative Role of Mr. Poe/Mr. Poes Wife: wow this one is really confusing. My reasoning behind these picks is because The News lady would be a great pick for Mr. Poe's wife or at least a substitute as she has similar motivations in DT17. The biggest set back for her tho is that she has no reason to be on the Baudelaire case (or McDuck case anyways). Ghost of Christmas past is a bit of a stretch since why the fuck would he be in charge of making sure the kids had guardians? I mainly want him just bc of his motivation (or lack thereof) to do his job and being incompetent at it. Gladstone while making some sense that he also would be uncaring about where the kids go is also a stretch given he is a relative and he while he might not care 100% about their whereabouts he wouldn't lose them like Mr. Poe would simply bc he is so damn Lucky. Its possible to work that against him, maybe in a scenerios like where he drops off the kids but gets whisked away because some rando gifts him a boat. Still unsure.

Mrs. Beakley as either the Narrative Role of Jaclyn S (Mr. Poes Secretary/VFD spy)., Olivia C. (Librarian): I want Mrs. B to have a role which fits her being experienced and competent but also met a tragic demise. I might mix the experience of JS with the fate of OC. Poor Webby.

Justice Strauss as ???: I'll be honest, I am stumped with this one. This is a very important role to fill and I can't quite find an adult character that fits the bill of Justice Strauss. Mrs. B is too smart, Launchpad studying law while ridiculous, is something inline with the show but he doesn't have a DT17 motivation similar enough to Strauss where he's desires can be exploited nor has he really want kids in the same sense as Strauss. Drake Mallard is close since he is an actor but having him work with law is a bit of a stretch, I also think that making him somewhat bumbling is an insult to his character but Strauss is tragic since she WANTS to very much be the Baudelaires guardian but fails so much. Maybe in a safer world she could have been, maybe if they were luckier. She loves them so much, but they run away where she can't find them to at least try to be there for them and is left heart broken by the end. Whoever becomes JS is in for a world of hurt and I'm sorry. Goofy could also be a replacement, maybe Max died for more angst 😬.

Goldie or Daisy as the narrative role of Kit Snicket: This kinda gets really fanfic-y as neither of these characters really fit nicely into this role. Goldie definitely has the skill of Kit and her disregard for the rules but the pregnancy thing is... something. Not entirely sure if I actually want her to be pregnant but I also want a Beatrice II type character (of course she would be named Della II) but again very fanfic-y. Daisy I am more comfortable being the one who gets pregnant, she might take Olivias role as the new VFD recruit instead of Kits more seasoned one. All I know is that if either or both outcomes exist they will die also a Dewey Deanumont(?) Character wouldn't be the father it would of course be Donald or Scrooge depending who gets pregnant.

Jacques Snicket as ???: Another mystery for me. Functionally? Maybe Manny could play this role or even Launchpad (he really is just my go to for any character idk about huh?) Whoever it is will die but wont have a romance with the Olivia character(s). Maybe its Goofy lmao.

This is quite long enough, let me know if y'all got any more ideas. I'll edit this when I can since I am tired of writing. Please comment or reblog for suggestions and the like thx u. And please...Look Away while you still can.

[talltree-writes]

I Didn’t Mean to Fall // Ineffable Husbands

Gabriel and Beelzebub try to pit Aziraphale and Crowley against each other by revealing some old information. 

Genre: fluff, a little angst, f2l, 

Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley (Ineffable Husbands) 

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.2k

Author’s Note: This has been sitting in my docs since a few months after the show came out. I think I was going to try to write it all out in a formal style, but I like this better, honestly. There are most certainly many fics with some of these same tropes, but I just really like them. I have not read the book (yet!!), so if something is wrong in regards to the written canon, I’m very sorry. 

-Basically Gabriel has seen what’s going on  and he’s here to sow discord for C/A

-Aziraphale is in his bookshop organizing his shelf of first edition poetry books

-In comes gabriel, smug little grin on his face

-Obviously he startles Zira because baby boy is no longer under Heaven’s thumb and doesn’t expect a visit from the archangel 

-“Aziraphale! So good to see you.”

-Zira just frowns at him because he knows the opposite to be true

-Gabriel just goes on

-He’s here to stir up trouble

-“Listen, why don’t we talk in the back, we have some private things to discuss”

-He grips Zira’s shoulder a little to hard in order to tell him it’s non-negotiable

-They get to the back and the smirk becomes a hard grin

-“I hear you and the demon Crowley have been getting pretty cozy”

-Zira, stunned, can only think ‘We successfully hid our friendship for 6000 years and they only find out once we no longer work for them?’

-But he says

-“Crowley is a friend, yes” 

-There’s no point in hiding it, after all, both Gabe and Beezlebub saw them at that air base

-Gabriel’s smile falters for a split second

-He wasn’t expecting that

-But he can work with it

-“A friend, really?” 

-He levels a gaze at the other angel 

-Zira’s not about to admit it right then and there,

-So he looks at Gabe likes he’s lost it and says yes

-“There have been whispers, Aziraphale, that there is much more between you and the Fallen… that, perhaps, you’re even in love with Crowley” 

-Aziraphale’s heart drops into his stomach

-‘How could he know? He hadn’t told anyone, had never written it down, had never even expressed anything to Crowley?’

-“I am not in love with Crowley.”

-Gabe raises an eyebrow

-��If you say so.”

-He shrugs and starts for the door. 

-But then turns around to look at the barely-concealing-his-shock angel

-“You know, She always intended for you two to be together.”

-Aziraphale became confused. Very few angels had intended mates, it was one of the few things She allowed them to choose for themselves. 

-She usually only had intended mates for...archangels  

-Gabriel took advantage of the moment of confusion 

-“Oh? He hasn’t told you who he was before the fall?” 

-Aziraphale’s mind flashed through all of the times he had brought the subject of the Fall up, and Crowley had gotten a distant look and changed the subject, or said “I didn’t mean to fall” or brushed it off

-Then he thought of the few clues that Crowley had given him over the years. One in particular stook out. Alpha Centauri.

-He hadn’t made the connection when Crowley was screaming it at him (to be fair, they were in quite the stressful situation, and were both focussing on the Antichrist) 

-She wouldn’t have entrusted the creation of an entire system to just any angel 

-Only an archangel would hold that power

-There were only two archangels who fell

-Lucifer, obviously, and…

-Raphael

-Raphael, who was never mentioned again after the fall

-Raphael, who’s loss hurt almost as much as Lucifer’s 

-Raphael, who had never spoken out against Her

-‘I didn’t mean to fall’... 

-Aziraphale’s face lights up with recognition 

-Gabriel sees this

-“I could never figure out why he Fell. Perhaps it was all apart of your beloved ineffable plan”

-Shoots a final grin

-And leaves Zira to his thoughts 

-Meanwhile 

-Unbeknownst to Crowley or Zira, Gabriel had gone to Beezlebub, who was also salty about being shown up by Crowley, and colluded together to throw them off and pit them against each other

-Crowley has a recording of Much Ado about Nothing playing as he reads along

-(He’s trying to surprise Zira with some knowledge and quotes and the last time he’d seen/heard anything pertaining to it was when the bard himself was alive)

-The recording scratches to a stop

-“Crowley…”

-Crowley froze, he hadn’t heard that voice since the Apocalypse that wasn’t

-Feigns nonchalance 

-“Beelzebub! To what do I owe the displeasure?”

-He doesn’t work for Hell anymore-- he doesn’t have to refer to anyone as Lord -unless he wants to 

-“I have heard rumors of you… consorting… with the Angel” 

-Crowley knows exactly what angel they’re talking about 

-(obviously, it’s his angel)

-“Which angel would that be exactly? I’m told Heaven has a whole host of them.”

-“The angel Aziraphale, of course.”

-“Oh that angel! No, I’m afraid we see each other as little as possible. Really only meet to discuss our mutual operative”

-“Are you denying that you see each other every day?” 

-Crowley didn’t know how or why they kept an eye on them. He thought that they would keep even less surveillance on them as they were no longer agents of Heaven or Hell. Apparently he was wrong

-“Our mutual operative has been having issues lately. We’ve been discussing, at length, whether or not the operative is worth keeping on either side. The goody-two shoes, of course, thinks we should, since the guy is such an imbecile that he maintains a perfect level of good and evil. I, obviously, no longer see the point in it, as we no longer work for either side. The sooner we dismiss him, the sooner we can go our separate ways.” 

-It hurts to refer to his angel as anything other than absolutely wonderful or to even pretend that every moment he spends with Zira wasn’t the most fulfilling thing in his life since… well, since he became a demon. 

-Beelzebub, knowing the truth, doesn’t buy it. 

-“Drop the act, traitor. Both sides know of your little friendship. I just thought you should know that the angel is being informed of your… former self as we speak.” 

-Crowley’s brain, and therefore, his mouth, stopped working

-He had spent so long attempting to keep his former identity concealed for so long. 

-He had never met his intended mate, and even though he knew he loved Aziraphale, he didn’t know whether or not his meeting Zira was apart of the Ineffable Plan, or just superb luck

-Then, he realized something Beelzebub said

-“Have you been in contact with the other side?”

-Beelzebub goes silent. Crowley is afraid he had disconnected the conversation

-He forged on anyway 

-“You have, haven’t you? I’d wager you’ve been in contact with the head halo himself. Tell me, have you told Gabriel of your former identity? I’m sure he’d love to hear that his intended is not only fallen, but, in fact, the prince of hell, themself.”

-When there was no response, instead the voices from the play filtering through his speakers, he knew the other demon had heard him. And he was definitely scared.

-Nonetheless, Crowley was also terrified. If Aziraphale knew, it could change how the angel thinks of him. An archangel? Fallen? It was practically unheard of. Sure, Lucifer himself had fallen, but no other Archangel had uttered any kind of alliance to their brother.

-His own falling had been a separate, private affair. He had approached God Herself (back when God still held audiences with her children instead of sending them straight to the Metatron), and innocently brought his questions before her. When he could bring himself to think about the occasion, he thought he recalled an air of regret and sadness in Her throne room. Almost as if She didn’t want to make him fall. Though, he supposed She’d be loathe to see any  of her creations become her enemies.

-Truth be told, he’d never understood why he fell. His questions had never been drastic, and not nearly to the extent She allowed Lucifer’s to get to. But perhaps any questions were grounds to fall after Lucifer’s rebellion

-At any rate, he had to get to the bookshop to explain everything to Aziraphale. His musings on Her decisions could wait until his next drunken pity party 

-He grabbed his jacket and miracles himself into the Bentley

-He speeds his way through London to the Soho-based bookshop. The lights on the first floor were dark, and for a second, he thought that Zira was out and about. 

-He parks around the corner anyway and got out to walk to the front door. He had no idea if Gabriel was still there

-He got his answer when he spotted the front door open. He went back around the corner and peeked to see a smug looking Gabriel step out of the shop

-Figuring both sides already knew, and they therefore had nothing to lose, he approached his former brother

-“Gabe! What a coincidence to run into you! I assume you’ve just come from telling Aziraphale my former identity. I’m sure you can imagine how grateful I am for sharing an incredibly personal piece of information with someone else without my permission. But how could I return the favor? Hmm… Did you ever meet your intended?”

-Gabriel froze

-Crowley continues

-“No, I suppose you didn’t. After all, your ceremony came after the Fall. Suppose they had to cancel it, then. Must have sucked, knowing your mate fell, but not knowing who they were. Almost as much as never knowing who your mate was in the first place. I, of course, knew, because I told them. But you already know this, y’know, since you were supposed to tell mine. Now that you’ve revealed information that was truly none of your business, I shall return the favor. I assume neither Michael, nor Uriel, have been ballsy enough to tell you who your mate is.”

-He didn’t receive an answer, but continued anyway.

-“You are familiar, of course, with our mutual companion, Beelzebub.”

-Silence

-“I’m sure you’ll be pleased to finally know who your mate is. Now if you would please fuck off and stay out of our lives, we won’t meddle in the matters of heaven and hell- especially your love lives.” 

-He pushes past his former brother into the shop. 

-“Angel?”

-No response 

-He heads into the back 

-“Angel?”

-He finds Aziraphale sitting, pensively staring at the wall 

-“...Angel…?”

-“Is it true?”

-Crowley knew what he was talking about, there was no use beating around the bush 

-“Yes”

-“Why wouldn’t you tell me? Things could have been so much different. Were you ever going to tell me?”

-Aziraphale looks up with a pained look 

-Crowley takes a deep breath 

-“Eventually… when I accepted what happened.”

-“It’s been 6000 years! Didn’t you think I deserved to know I was your intended?!”

-That stopped Crowley in his tracks. 

-“You- you’re my intended?” 

-His eyes are blown wide with shock

-Now Zira is confused

-“Yes… I thought that’s what we were talking about. You didn’t know either?”

-“Angel… I thought we were talking about me. I never found out who my intended was. I mean, I had hoped it was you, but I was never sure.” 

-“How did Gabriel know?”

-“He was assigned to tell you.”

-Zira’s face scrunched up.

-“I can’t imagine Gabriel being the deliverer of such happy news.”

-“He wasn’t always such an emotionless prick. I’m afraid losing one’s intended in the Fall is rather jarring to an angel. And a demon, to be honest. Beelzebub hasn’t been the same since they fell.”

-“Were they someone’s intended?” 

-“Believe it or not, they were Gabriel’s. Obviously, their name wasn’t Beelzebub, but Anabiel and Gabriel were supposed to be very happy together, in fact every archangel was very happy with their intended until they fell. Only Lucifer, Gabriel and myself were left to have our intended ceremonies.”

-Aziraphale got a thoughtful look 

-“Don’t you think it’s odd that half of every intended couple fell?”

-Crowley shrugged

-“I’ve been thinking about it for years, and I can’t come up with anything concrete.” 

-Zira muses for a second. 

-“It’s not worth thinking about, Angel. It all depends on several hypotheticals of what was happening in Her brain this whole time. Something neither of us are privy to.”

-“No, I suppose you’re right, my dear. Besides, I think other matters are slightly more pressing.” 

-Crowley raised an eyebrow at his angel

-Who rose 

-“What matters, Angel?”

-“The matter of our relationship, my dear, and how it progresses from here.”

-“...Oh”

-Soft BoiTM becomes super anxious 

-“Of course, if you would like to remain friends, that is okay. I do vaguely remember some archangels who kept their relationships platonic, and if that is what you wish, I will gladly-”

-Crowley stands up quite quickly and hugs his angel 

-“Aziraphale, I would like nothing more than to create a life with you, together as mates. Romantic mates.” 

-When Aziraphale’s smile lit up the entire room (literally, he was allowing some of his ethereal form to slip through the veil), Crowley had to shield his eyes

-But when the light dimmed (with a sheepish look from the still very excited Aziraphale), Crowley allowed a genuine smile to alight onto his face

-Now, here’s the thing about Crowley and smiling

-Aziraphale can count on two hands the amount of times he has seen a genuine smile when Crowley was sober

-He smirked, or scowled, sometimes he would let a grin pass

-But rarely would he truly, genuinely, smile

-But this was the best one Zira had ever seen in all of his 6000+ years