#marauders era funny textpost

[wolvesandshine]

I’m so convinced that the only reason the Marauders find out about Remus being a werewolf is because of Regulus cause let’s be real all of them are dumbasses like this is how it prob went down

Sirius: My new best friend gets sick every month I don’t know what to do

Regulus *innocently*: oh so he’s like a werewolf?

Sirius *scandalised* : No-

Sirius: *thinking back to all the times Remus’s sickness coincided with the full moon*

Sirius: Oh fuck

[marauderstars]

Sirius hearing Remus calling a microwave a “popty ping” because he’s Welsh and thinking all Muggle appliances are just named after the sound they make and calling a washing machine a “sloshy box” or a blender a “wazzy wacker” or something. That’s it that’s the post.

[missmarauderbvtches]

(date at a muggle zoo)

Sirius: so what are they in for

Remus: this isn't muggle azkaban

Sirius: so they can leave?

Remus: well no but-

Sirius, pointing at a penguin: I bet that one killed somebody

[www-librarytearoom-com]

James, pointing at Regulus: I love you!

James, pointing at Lily: I love you as well!

Regulus: we return the sentiment but why are you announcing it in the middle of a battle?

[anxiouslygay]

the marauders playing truth or dare-

sirius- kiss the most attractive person in the room

lily- ok but you won't like it

sirius- ????

lily- *kisses Remus*

sirius- uh lily! that's my boyfriend!!

lily- what?? he's the most attractive person in the room!

everyone- *silently shakes head in agreement*

sirius- *absolutely gobsmacked*

remus- *blushing, looking like a mf tomato*

[enbysiriusblack]

severus: the problem isn't that you're gay. the problem is that you're a communist

remus: i'm not a communist...

[theidlespoon]

reminder to check in on your marauder fan friends. reblog to save a life.

[little-mary-marauders]

Regulus: *Puts a knife to James throat* James: *James's thoughts* OMG OMG OMG HES SO HOT THIS IS SO HOT OMG YES HAVE ME IM YOURS. Sirius: WHAT THE FUCK JAMES- Regulus: *is flabbergasted* James: Oops did I say that out loud... *awkward laughter* Remus: *laughing his ass off* Sirius: JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO RUN BEFOR EI KILL YOU

[redadidassneakers]

Remus: hey, why aren’t koalas considered bears?

Sirius: because they don’t have the right koalafications

Remus: no you dumb piece of shit, it’s because they’re marsupials

Sirius, muttering: the one time I think he’s trying to tell a joke I get it wrong, fucking-

[b-u-g-g-y]

Stranger at the park: Aw, he’s so cute!

Remus: Thanks, he’s a rescue.

Sirius: You’ve gotta stop telling people that.

[jilywolfstar03]

Remus: Pros and cons of dating me.

Remus: Pros: you will be the cute one

Remus: Cons: HOLY SHIT WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN

[wolvesandshine]

Regulus: Sleep is for the weak

Regulus:

Regulus: On an unrelated note if you don’t shut up in the next minute I will kill everyone in this room and then myself

[iamademigodandwizard]

Lily:What’s my exact height?

Sirius: Short

Cut to Sirius running away from Lily and the rest of the gang dying of laughter

[missmarauderbvtches]

Sirius, drunk as hell: Remus

Sirius, drunk as hell: Remus, I like your name

Remus, even more drunk than Sirius: Thanks I got it for my birthday

[whore-for-fluff]

marauders as texts my girlfriend has sent me p1 <3

remus

marlene

lily to remus, after he rants about sirius for a whole hour

sirius and remus

lily (green) and remus (grey)

remus to a very disturbed peter

remus to sirius about the girls weekend w/ lily, mary, marlene and dorcas

james to sirius

remus after james punched up a homophobe

sirius (grey) to james (green)

part two / part three

[thewideeyedgayze]

james: im seeing someone but im not sure if you'll be okay with it

sirius: just say it mate

james: its a guy

sirius: (making proud eyes) prongs, i hope you know i will always love you, and now we can go on double dates and-

james: its your brother

sirius: get back in the fucking closet mate