#literally took 2 days I'm sobbing

[movedunused-account]

[kaisacobra]

Second Best - Tara Carpenter

Summary: It used to be Tara and you against the world, but now you can't remember the last time she'd ever put you first.

Warnings: Fem!Reader, brief weed mention, alcohol, mentions of throwing up, angst

Word Count: 4.8k

a/n: Part two, anyone?

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4 (alternate ending)

Everybody knew that you would always be by Tara Carpenter's side. Her friends, her family, and even Tara herself. Especially Tara.

When the girl's sister left home without explanations shortly after their father, and when Christina Carpenter began what would become a long battle with alcoholism, you were there for the younger Carpenter. You held her in your arms as she cried, unsure of herself, confessing between sobs that she felt cursed, as everyone she loved eventually left.

You were already friends, of course, but from that moment on, you had made a powerful oath that almost felt like it had been signed in blood. You would never be like the others. You would never leave Tara alone.

She smiled at your promise and allowed you to wipe away her tears with the sleeve of your sweatshirt. It was such a small gesture, but just catching a glimpse of her dimples made you consider that promise like the words of the Bible. Little things about Tara always made your heart race and brightened your world. You eagerly awaited every day for a fleeting sight of the girl's smile, and a part of you dimmed on the days you didn't see it.

It was evident that you were in love with Tara, perhaps even more than that, as the feeling was so intense that it could hardly be described with words. However, your relationship with her was also driven by your devotion. You never made any mention of what you felt for her, too scared to even consider the idea of confessing your love and facing potential rejection, which could eventually lead to the downfall of such a perfect friendship. Yet, your love language was well expressed in the everyday actions you did for her.

It was very obvious, so much so that even Mindy had noticed. Your smart friend Mindy, who had noticed how you looked at Tara like a lost puppy and always catered to her wishes. Your observant friend Mindy, who had also noticed how Tara didn't seem to do even half of the same for you.

She talked to you about it with the best intentions, but still, you had to discuss it with Tara. How could you not? Tara was your best friend! Keeping something like that from her would be almost like a betrayal! And the young Carpenter girl obviously felt uncomfortable with Mindy's statement, finding it completely absurd.

"She must be jealous of us!" Tara said defensively, crossing her arms. Her hair gently moved to the side as she huffed. "Yeah! That's it. She probably just envies not having someone as close to her as we are."

You didn't mention how Mindy had a twin brother who literally was always with her because there was no need. Tara must be right, as usual. Instead, you just nodded in agreement and volunteered to make more popcorn for your movie night.

That doesn't mean the words of the Meeks-Martin girl simply vanished from your mind. Everybody knew that you would always be by Tara Carpenter's side, but would Tara Carpenter always be by your side?

_

I'm boreddd. 

Wanna do something?

It was 11pm when Tara sent you this message, the notification ding echoing through the walls of your quiet and currently calm dorm room. You took your eyes off the book you were studying, and a sigh escaped your lips as you read the words on the notification bar. It was almost midnight, and even though the next day was a Saturday, you didn't feel like leaving the college dorm and taking 2 subways to get to the Carpenters' apartment.

Especially because things had been weird since the events in Woodsboro.

You looked around to avoid the phone screen, as if that would make the message disappear along with your dilemma. The room was dark, except for the lamp lit on your desk, and you had planned to relax and watch an interesting movie, taking advantage of the fact that your roommate had gone to some fraternity party.

But it was still Tara. Even after what happened, it was still Tara, and you could never say no to the girl.

Defeated by your own feelings, you picked up your phone and thought for a few seconds before typing something decent in response.

Sure. I'll be there in 30.

You barely had time to get up from the chair when someone started calling you, the saved contact name indicating that it was your best friend. With a sigh and a grimace, you answered, quickly putting the call on speaker and placing the phone on the table so you could get ready more quickly.

"Tara?" You called out as you searched for some nicer clothes in your wardrobe. "I just sent you a message, okay? I'll be there in 30."

"No! Don't come here!" The girl answered with an urgent tone that sparked your concern. Was something happening at the apartment? you thought. Before you could let go of the shirt in your hands to get the phone, she continued speaking. "I thought we could go out? There's a party happening near campus, a guy from my class invited me."

Feeling a bit more relieved now that you knew nothing was wrong, your brain caught onto what you well recognized as Tara's sheepish tone. Your "spidey sense" for trouble seemed to be buzzing when you thought of a specific detail. "Did Sam allow you to go? At this hour of the night? To a party?"

Since the massacre last year, the dynamics in everyone's normal lives had obviously undergone some changes, but perhaps the biggest of all was the role Sam had come to play in Tara's life, as the adult presence she had always needed. Unfortunately, the younger Carpenter didn't seem too thrilled about it.

It was clear that she was more than happy to have her older sister back; that wasn't the issue. The problem was that Tara had gotten used to essentially raising herself. She didn't have a curfew, nor did she have someone breathing down her neck about her grades; she simply made the best decisions for herself and enjoyed the freedom of not having anyone hold her accountable for anything.

You knew Tara well enough to understand that this was driving her crazy. She wanted to change, wanted to move forward and not have to look back and face the horrors she endured, but she also didn't want anything to change. You knew, more than anything, that Tara didn't want anything to have changed.

Maybe that's why she never brought up the things she had said.

The girl's voice on the other end of the line snapped you out of your thoughts. "She took a shift at a bar. If we go now, we can be back before she even notices I'm gone."

"I don't know, Tara," You scratched your neck, trying to convey your skepticism in your voice. "What if she finds out? She'll be furious, and God knows I'm terrified of your sister."

"Oh, come on. If anything happens, I'll be the only one she gets mad at. Besides, Sam loves you. I dare to say she loves you more than she loves me."

Despite Tara's playful tone when saying those words, you pondered their meaning. It was true that within your group of friends, Sam considered you the most responsible and felt a sense of gratitude for your efforts in protecting Tara while she was away. It was painful to admit, but perhaps it was true that Sam loved you more than Tara did.

Especially because Tara was the one who replaced you. Not Sam.

"Come on, please!" The Carpenter girl tried again. "It'll be fun! Mindy and Chad are meeting us there!"

"Oh." You paused, a bad feeling spreading through your chest. "Do they already know about the plan?"

Tara laughed, as if you had made a joke. "Of course. I talked to you last because I knew it would be harder to convince you."

A bitter taste lingered on your tongue. There was no reason for you to have thought that Tara might want you to accompany her to the party alone, but the truth was that you could never control your wishful thinking that maybe, one day, she could see you as something more than just a friend.

But, of course, you hadn't been Tara's first choice for anything in a long time.

Still, your irrational love made you choose Tara every time. "Okay. Send me the address."

With the call ended and a notification with the address of the party, you ruffled your hair in frustration and decided to focus on choosing at least a presentable outfit for a night filled with loud sounds, bright lights, questionable drinks, and even more questionable people.

Your eyes were fixed on options of shirts, pants, and dresses, but your mind seemed determined to remind you of the same thoughts that kept you awake at night. Why were you still subjecting yourself to this? Even after what happened last year?

You remembered it had started gradually. Tara and Amber's friendship. It used to be just conversations about common interests, gossip about annoying people at school, and the usual teenage life complaints. You were still Tara's best friend, still the person she sought at the end of the day.

Suddenly, it was taken away from you. Tara and Amber seemed to grow closer, and people started to see them as a single entity. Amber became included in everything you and your friends did, and Tara's presence became scarcer in your life as she had more and more commitments with the dark-haired girl.

You became a secondary thought for Tara, as if your strong friendship meant nothing. As if your promises meant nothing. When the two of them started a relationship, then you knew you had no chance of getting your Tara back.

Still, out of love and consideration for her, you decided to stay. You still had the same group of friends, anyway, and you didn't want the atmosphere to become awkward or any friendships to be broken. You continued to do your best for Tara even if she didn't know or even acknowledge you the way she once did.

Every now and then, you think about how it could have spared you a lot if you had distanced yourself at that moment.

With your chosen outfit and an immense desire to give up, you left home and began to make your way to the party location. It wasn't too far, so you could walk, but the dimly lit streets and the silence of the late hour left your nerves on edge.

Fear had always been a constant emotion in your life. Fear of people judging your sexuality, of Tara discovering what you felt for her, of Tara growing tired of you. Eventually, this fear escalated to the fear of being killed by a maniac who wanted to kill you and all your friends with a knife.

Oh, sweet memories.

The thump of some music booming from a speaker made your walk feel a little less lonely. You began to hear the sounds and see the lights of the party as you approached the house. There were people dancing on the sidewalk with bottles in hand, and others sitting on the front stairs, passing a joint from hand to hand and laughing at absolutely nothing.

You glanced through the open window, and a hint of panic struck you as you realized the immense crowd of people packed together. How the hell were you going to find your friends like this?

Taking a deep breath, you decided to get it over with and entered the house, looking around for at least one familiar face. You tried to make your way through the people shouting and dancing together, elbowing some and pushing others. No one seemed to care anyway, being more interested in enjoying the moment.

Fortunately, your salvation came in the form of Mindy Meeks-Martin, who spotted you from her place on the couch and raised her hand for you to see. You approached your friend and you could see that next to her was an unfamiliar girl. She had shoulder-length hair with platinum highlights at the tips, and a cute face. The two seemed to be sitting close to each other, but you decided not to comment on it. Mindy would tell you eventually if this was going to be something.

"I can't believe she actually convinced you to come," Your friend commented, raising the red plastic cup in her hand in a greeting, along with her trademark sarcastic smile. "Have a little self-respect, y/n."

"Ugh. You're annoying." You rolled your eyes and looked between the two girls sitting in front of you. "So... who are you?"

The unknown girl smiled kindly and waved. "Anika. Nice to meet you."

"She's from one of my classes," Mindy quickly explained, and you noticed her hand hovering over Anika's shoulder before giving a casual nod and starting to look around for a certain person.

Realizing your thoughts were elsewhere, the twin sighed and nodded her head in a direction. "She's in the kitchen. You know, you should have some fun before you start your babysitting duties."

You smiled and began to turn. "If I wanted to have fun, I wouldn't be here. You know that." With that, you gave a final wave to the two girls and headed to the place you could now identify as the kitchen.

Being in a fraternity house, you hadn't expected to find an organized and clean room in the midst of a party, but you also didn't expect it to be this bad. Plastic cups were scattered on the floor, spilling liquids you couldn't identify, some couples were kissing, including one that was making out on the countertop full of empty bottles and crushed chip bags.

The strong smell of alcohol, smoke, and even sweat irritated your nostrils, but at least the light was bright enough for you to see what was in front of you. This allowed you to witness the exact moment when a certain girl, no more than 150cm tall, ran out of the room with her hand covering her mouth.

Muttering a curse, you sprinted after her, praying that at least she could make it to the bathroom before throwing up. You knew how Tara was at parties. Weak with alcohol but stubborn enough to keep drinking even knowing she was pushing her limits.

You still remembered the first time this happened. Amber had thrown another one of her parties, and this time, Tara was determined to drink everything she could, claiming it would be fun. You had declined her request for you to do the same, arguing that someone needed to stay sober enough to make sure the house didn't catch fire, but in reality, you just wanted to make sure you could take care of Tara if necessary.

As predicted, she drank so much that she spent 20 minutes puking in the bathroom. She asked you a few times not to worry, that Amber would show up soon to take care of her, but the girl didn't appear until the end of the party. In the meantime, you took her place, holding Tara's hair back and getting water to prevent her from getting dehydrated.

You had always been there to take care of Tara, and yet...

The flashbacks from that day gave you a sense of déjà vu as you did the same thing, but at a different party, years later. One of your hands held Tara's hair in a ponytail while the other stroked the girl's back, trying to provide some comfort as she emptied her stomach into the toilet.

When she finished, you closed the lid and flushed, leaving the girl leaning against the wall as you went to get a tissue to wipe her face. You silently thanked the closed bathroom door for doing a good job of muffling the loud sounds from the living room, as you needed something quieter now.

With the tissue now in hand, you turned to look at Tara, and your heart skipped a beat. It was unfair and almost inhumane that the girl could still look like the statue of an angel even when sweaty and weak. Your eyes traced every feature of her face, from her closed eyes to the slightly open mouth. You knew Tara's face as if it were a map, but every time you looked at her again, you found a different kind of beauty, almost like an unexplored path.

You crouched down to be at eye level with her face and began to gently clean the dirty areas so delicately that some might think the girl was made of porcelain. She shifted a bit at your touch, and a hint of her dimple began to show as she murmured softly, "Thanks, Amber."

The words that sounded so sweet and vulnerable came out of Tara's mouth like projectiles that punched a hole in your chest. Your lips trembled, and tears began to threaten to fall down your face, causing you to close your eyes to contain the flow.

It still hurt. It still hurt to know that Tara kept choosing her even after everything.

It was painful enough when Tara was attacked, and you had to anxiously wait as she went in and out of surgeries with no prognosis in sight, especially a positive one. But everything that followed caused the worst pain you had ever felt in your life.

It would be much easier to blame Amber for everything that happened. She was the one responsible for filling Tara's head with lies and manipulation in a moment of vulnerability, talking about how you were suspicious for living near the Carpenter house and not hearing anything, how it was obvious to everyone that you were obsessed with Tara and maybe had finally gone crazy because you couldn't have her.

But you couldn't put all the blame on her when Tara was the one who got scared when you visited her alone in the hospital. You couldn't ignore that Tara was the one who looked into your eyes and told you to leave, saying she was afraid of you. Saying she would never feel the same way about you.

Tara only believed your words after everything was over, and Amber and Richie were dead in the hall of Stu Macher's old house. You never received an apology, but maybe the blame was yours for not demanding one. You were so focused on taking care of Tara, as always, that you just let it slide as if it hadn't happened.

But at midnight, when you can't sleep, you wonder what would happen if Tara could choose you as the killer instead of Amber. You're afraid of what the answer would be.

But, as always, you put yourself second and bite your lower lip hard to prevent yourself from crying. Creating more distance between you and Tara's face, crushing the tissue in your hands to stay centered, you uttered the words as gently as you could. "Y/n, Tara. It's y/n."

"Oh." Tara chuckled, as if she had made an innocent mistake and not just called you by the name of her deceased ex-girlfriend. "My bad."

My bad. That's all she said.

But you continued to clean Tara, even knowing that the most you would get the next day would be a thank you if she hadn't been drunk enough to forget everything.

Love could be a real leash sometimes, but maybe you were at fault for letting Tara hold it.

_

You had never felt so exhausted in your life.

As you watched your friends having fun at the Halloween party, Chad and Ethan dancing on the dance floor, Mindy and Anika, as always, sitting together on a couch, and Tara drinking her whatever-number-it-was drink, you felt as if an anchor was pulling you down and waiting for the right moment to bury you under the ground.

It was a constant and growing exhaustion within you since Woodsboro. Everything seemed stacked, and you hadn't even stopped to seek help, trying to juggle everything as if everything were fine, as if a part of you weren't dying day after day.

You were trying to stay strong. For yourself, for your studies, for your friends. For Tara. But, oh, how difficult it was.

Meanwhile, Tara danced freely with some stranger, drinking a bit more of whatever was in her plastic cup. Part of you wondered if she would ever notice that you needed her help, her support, even if it were just for friendship.

But then, you remember the unspoken apologies and realize that perhaps Tara doesn't know you as well as you know her. Most likely, she may not care enough to try to notice any change in your behavior, as long as it doesn't affect the way you treat her.

It was pathetic and humiliating that you kept coming back to her and treating her as the center of your world even though the feeling clearly wasn't mutual. But the love you felt for Tara consumed you like the most powerful drug in your system. It might not be healthy, but you needed her presence to calm down, needed her to look at you to breathe, needed to make her laugh to feel your heartbeat.

And every time she laughed at one of your terrible jokes or every time she leaned on you during a movie, it was as if all the bad things disappeared just for the tiny possibility that she might be opening her heart to you, so you could finally have a chance to make her happy.

Your cloudy thoughts made the party pass quickly, like a timelapse in a movie, and you realized you had been standing in the same place while everyone else was having fun around you. How fitting.

When you really started paying attention to your surroundings, it was already too late. Sam had entered and tased a guy in the balls, and Tara had stormed out of the house completely furious. You quickly followed Mindy and Anika outside, knowing that a fight was about to happen.

The street was chilly at that early hour of the morning, and you tried to suppress a shiver that ran through your body. Most of your friends had also left the house, and all of you could see the Carpenter sisters arguing a bit further ahead. Both were angry and yelling at each other, and you knew Sam was right, but this conversation would probably be better to have in a private setting, without the curious eyes of other people passing by on the sidewalk.

You already had enough problems in your daily life without needing another Twitter post calling Sam a crazy scene maker.

"Hey, I'll try to talk to them, okay?" You practically whispered to Mindy. "It's better to resolve this at home."

"Isn't it better not to get involved?" She whispered back, but you were already determined that this was the best solution, letting the advice go in one ear and out the other. As you approached the sisters with cautious steps, their voices gradually increased and became more aggressive.

Sam noticed you approaching them and pointed at you, which caused you some astonishment, making you slow your steps to grasp the situation. "If you won't listen to me, why can't you at least listen to y/n?! She's your best friend, isn't she? At least she knows you need therapy, not drowning your sorrows in alcohol!"

Your cheeks heated up at the comment, and you shifted uncomfortably in place. The entire street seemed to be looking at your group now, urging you to try again to end the argument at that moment. "Guys, maybe we-"

"Oh, I'm sure you wish I were more like y/n!" Tara shouted and turned to you with a dark look. She was still clearly intoxicated, and her wobbly posture was the biggest indicator of that, even though she tried to restrain herself by crossing her arms over the pirate costume.

She scrutinized you from head to toe with a malicious smile that sent chills down your spine. "Sweet little y/n. Pathetic and stuck in the same place all these years. Is that how you want me to be, Sam?"

The tone loaded with disdain, even slurred by the alcohol, felt like a stab to your heart, bringing some tears to your eyes. She's drunk, it doesn't mean anything, that's what you were trying to tell yourself.

But... Drunk people usually speak the hidden truths lurking in the depths of their minds, don´t they?

Still, Tara didn't seem satisfied with what she said. "You said I need therapy, Sam, but what about her, huh? All this time, and she does nothing but stick to me. That's bordering on obsession, isn't it?"

Obsession. Exactly what Amber used to say about what you felt for Tara.

The cold of the street and the overall situation clashed to determine who would control the tremors running through your body. Shame and humiliation left your ears hot and your head dizzy, as if you were about to faint and fall onto the freezing concrete sidewalk.

"Tara, that's enough." You heard Mindy's voice closer, or maybe it was farther away. Your sense of location seemed to blend and twist along with all the other senses. The sound of something shattering reached your ears, and it could be either a bottle or your own broken heart.

"Why? She'll always end up coming back anyway." The younger Carpenter murmured and staggered with unsteady steps until she got close enough for you to smell the cheap alcohol on her breath. You wanted to move, run away so she couldn't see the tears streaming down your cheeks, but Tara's gaze left you as petrified as Medusa's.

You swallowed hard as your eyes focused anywhere but on the girl in front of you as a last attempt to escape from this torment, but it wasn't enough to prevent Tara's words from rolling off her tongue like poison.

"You know you'll never be her, right?"

Sobs escaped your throat, and you no longer felt control over your body. Unfortunately, your reaction seemed to fuel something primal in Tara. "Why do you still try?! Do you know how hard it is to ignore your pleading eyes every time you see me?! As if I'm a damn monster just because I don't want to kiss you?! It exhausts me! You exhaust me!"

"I never asked you for anything. I just... I just love you." You whispered those words the best you could with a shaky voice and quivering lips. Looking at Tara used to be the best part of your day, but now it felt so painful that your insides seemed to be squeezed.

The girl flashed a mean smile, and, for the first time, the sight of her dimples made you ache. 

"Then stop. You weren't my first choice back then, and you won't be my first choice now."

More sobs escaped you, and the whole world seemed overstimulating. Lights were too bright, sounds were unintelligible yet too loud, everything seemed to tremble and crumble at your feet, and you just wanted to curl up in a fetal position and beg for that pain in your chest to go away.

Someone pulled Tara away from you, and a gentle hand rested on your shoulder, but your eyes were too watery to identify the owner. Nothing made sense, and you didn't even know how you were still standing. A physical pain spread through your body like a disease, and Tara's words echoed in your head like a siren.

Without the strength to stay there any longer, you turned around and ran as fast as you could towards what you hoped was the direction of your dormitory. It was already late, and the streets were empty and dark, but you didn't care anymore. The faint sound of an aggressive conversation faded from your ears as you ran farther and farther away from everyone.

You had always been by Tara Carpenter's side.

But now? Now, you were tired of being her second best.

[belovedcloud]

Sick Days | Roommate! Leon Kennedy x Fem! Reader

Notes: Been pretty bedbound recently and thought about how Leon would be if he was sick and had his roommate help him out. This is literally just Leon and you being lovestruck by each other but you both are too scared to say it until he does.

WC: 1.9K

CW: Talks of Ada leading Leon on, nervous Leon but cute outcome. He loves you a lot and just can't convey it well. Fluff, maybe a Part 2?

➽───────────────────────❥

Lazing around in bed was nice every now and again, but that's when you haven't got a tissue shoved up your nose and the highest temperature possible. Leon never meant to get sick in the first place - but when you magically find yourself in a sewer and get stuck in shit-rotting clothes for a good few hours in the cold, it tends to happen. So here he was, trying to breathe properly whilst you tended to him every hour and so. If he wasn't sick he would've thanked you properly by getting you a gift but being bedbound was difficult enough. So his forms of gifts to you were sneezes and coughs as he tried to stomach the pills and cough syrup you gave him.

"Maybe try and not sneeze on my arm..." You jokingly said as he grumbled in bed, wrapping himself in his sheets. "Shut up.." He coughed out as he tried to hide his smile from you, it was impossible to not smile around you. The feelings you gave him were indescribable at the very least. It was like he was a teenager again, fumbling over his words sometimes and not being able to make sense of himself as you would smile at him. Your soft hands swat away the hairs that fell in front of his face as he sniffled, groaning in pain as his head ached continuously. "When can I have my pills again?" Leon asked as his teary eyes travelled up your face, taking in your beauty as you placed down another hot chocolate on the nightstand for him to gulp down any minute by now. "Uhh.. give another 30 minutes, I don't want you feeling even worse because you took your pills too early." You chuckled out as you saw his disheveled state, he really could be dramatic at times. "Fuck.. as if I could be in anymore pain." He muttered, taking the hot chocolate into his hands as he painfully sipped at it, the hot liquid seeping into the cracks of his lips. The lack of hydration causing his skin to dry out.

"Hold on let me get you some chapstick." Seeing you walk out Leon couldn't help but sigh. You were too kind to him, too kind to a man who killed monsters for a living. Yet you wouldn't mind hearing him sob out his monstrous nightmarish stories, you wouldn't mind helping him when he needed help. You would always be there, and that's why he fell in love with you. It took him a while to understand the concepts of love after being lead on by Ada back in Raccoon City. But he got there in the end and he was content with having a crush on you. Even though he thought you would never get with a man like him. Your smile and friendship was enough for him. For now. Your love for Leon was no different. The way he carried himself and his strength mentally was always something you looked up to. He was courageous, no normal person could be like him if they put up with what he was put through a few years ago. His kindness still resided within him - something that you longed for.

Moments later, Leon sees you coming in with a stick of chapstick. The pop of the lid makes him shuffle up from his homemade pillow and blanket mess, his groans apparent as he sat up. "Remind me to not lay down like that again.." He moaned out in pain as he saw you level up the chapstick. "Even when you're sick, you're still funny." You laughed out. "Finally admitting I'm funny now, when I'm on my deathbed?" He playfully rolled his eyes as he put his hand to his head, reenacting how someone would faint. "You are so dramatic Leon." The flick of your finger on his forehead made him yelp. "What the fuck?" Leon chuckled, turning his eyes back on the chapstick. "Red chapstick... really?" He looked at you with tired eyes as he saw your hands approach his head. "It's either this or you can have chapped lips, which one will it be grumpy?" You retorted out jokingly as your left hand tilted his chin up towards you. His face couldn't help but feel warmer... How the hell could it feel warmer when he was ill? A sense of embarrassment overwhelmed Leon as he pursed his lips, a sigh eliciting out his throat. "Fine, chapstick it is."

His gaze wondered over you as the feeling of chapstick replenished the moisture in his lips, slowly rubbing his lips together as you stopped applying it. "Looks like you have lipstick on." He heard you snicker out as your remark slowly made you burst out in a fit of laughter. "Shut uppp.." Leon couldn't help but laugh with you - your giggling made him smile. It was harmonic as he saw tears of joy appear in the creases of your eyes. Laughter slowly died down as you put the chapstick in your pocket - sitting down on Leon's bed. "Does princess Leon need anything else now?" You joked at him as he snuggled back into his fort of blankets. Leon rolled his eyes and averted them towards the side of the room. "You're so kind to me when I'm ill." He grumbled out, a small smile appearing on his lips. "You're welcome." You quipped back as you ruffled his pillows, fluffing them back up to their original shape.

"Thank you..." He hushed out, nervous as it escaped his mouth. Fuck, was that too obvious? "Huh? For fluffing your pillows?" Your head tilted in confusion as your eyes gazed back onto Leon's face. Even when ill, he was so handsome. "No, I mean yeah but.. Thanks for looking after me these past few days. When you could've been having fun with your friends." Leon stuttered out. His heartbeat felt rushed all of a sudden, scared of what you would say back. "You don't have to thank me Leon, it's nice being able to help you out." A soft smile appeared on your lips, he couldn't help but give a weak smile back. "And anyways, you would've done the same thing for me right?" Your hand slid to caress his. Aiding him in some sort of comfort as he mumbled out what he said next. "Yeah.. of course. I would help you with anything."

Leon felt himself get too hot as he hushed out his words. You couldn't help but feel nervous in this situation. His raspy voice hit spots in your heart where you thought it could never be reached. The way he spoke to you, the way he looked at you. Were you both really just friends? "I uh.. Sorry if that came out weird." He broke the silence between you two, feeling scared if he had made things awkward. "No, don't worry. It was really sweet of you to say that." You stumbled over your own words trying to make him think otherwise. The way your soft lips moved as your hand kept caressing his hand made Leon crazy. All he wanted to do was kiss you, hold you in his arms. Make you his. "Leon?" You nudged at him. Oops. He forgot he was mid-conversation with you.

"Sorry." He chuckled out. Fuck it. "You're really pretty." He whispered out meekly. It had felt like you short-circuited. Did Leon just call you pretty? "Huh?" Was all that managed to come out of your mouth as you stared at Leon in bewilderment. "Pretty?" You asked him, as if you were begging him to say it again. A soft chuckle erupted out of Leon's throat as his gaze wondered all over you. "Yeah, really pretty." He made it clear to you his thoughts. "Inside and out, and I'm sorry if I made this awkward I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore." He groaned out as he plopped his head back on his pillow. A subtle smile emerged on your face, looking at the man who just confessed to you. "It's okay, I just didn't think you thought of me that way." A mellow laugh elicited out your throat. "What? Of course I do, I mean look at you... You're beautiful and oh my God.. you treat me so well. I can't help but be in love with you." Leon rambled out, hushing himself as he realized the last part. "Shit..." He mumbled out, knowing he had fully confessed his love to you. He anticipated a rejection, instead he felt a soft kiss press on his forehead.

"I'm in love with you too Leon." She couldn't help but have a wide grin as she relapsed his confession in her mind. Leon on the other hand couldn't believe what just happened. It soon sent him into a coughing fit, with you patting his back and laughing. "Agh.. fuck." His voice rasped out of his throat. "How about you get some rest?" You stroked his face, getting the stray hairs out of his eyes. "Uh.. so we're going to just forget that you kissed my forehead?" He joked as he looked at you with teary eyes, still struggling to breathe from him coughing fit before. "Well I can't kiss you on the lips can I?" You snickered as you pinched his cheek, a small whine escaping his lips. "Yeah.. okay. I'll make it up to you when I'm not dying." Leon groaned out as he melted into your touch. "How are you gonna do that?" Confusion laced in your voice as you asked him that question. "Well if I tell you that'll ruin the surprise." He laughed as he looked into your eyes. Feeling your body leave his made him whine. "Where are you going?" He held onto your hand.

Your lips pressed against his forehead again as you stood up. "It's time for your pills." Leon yanked you back down to him as he rolled his eyes, a yelp leaving your lips. "They can wait." He grumbled out, his arms slowly wrapping around you. "Weren't you just crying about not having your meds?" You snickered out as you melted into his touch. "Hush, I don't need them now." He murmured as he lifted up the blankets, covering the both of you. Leon couldn't care less about the medication if it meant having you in his arms, at least for a bit. "Leon.." You whined out, "You're going to get me sick." You tried to escape his embrace, but to no avail. "We can be sick together." He joked as he kissed your neck, feeling content in his sick body. "Shut up, I'm getting your medicine." Getting up from his tight embrace was hard, but it was possible in the end when he felt you kick his kneecap. "You're really going to leave me when I'm like this?" He huffed out, a small pout forming on his lips. "I'll be back soon with your medicine, it's not like I'm leaving forever." You flicked his forehead as you walked out the door.

He was so in love with you.

➽───────────────────────❥

[dandylovesturtles]

I lied

this fic is going to have at least four parts. oops.

Sorry this took longer than I intended! I started working on it literally the next day after the first part went up and banged out 3K words, then wrote another 1.5K over the next couple days, ended up hating it, deleted the whole thing and started over. I'm much happier with this version.

I had intended for this part to go deeper into the immediate aftermath buuuut this part ended up so long I decided to make that the next part!

And I got enabled on discord to be mean with the cliffhanger, so... sorry <3

CW: minor violence, angst, nobody having a good time, Bishop being Bishop

btw this is Part 2 of the Room Fic that doesn't have a title yet. If you're confused, start here!

-----

They're somewhere in Nebraska, and Raph's never seen so many stars before.

He thought he had seen stars, when they went camping in the woods that time with Todd. Now, sitting on the side of the road by the Turtle Tank, he's realizing that he didn't really see them.

He wishes he could enjoy it, but he can't. Not really. Because nine days ago, Leo stormed out of the lair and never came home.

(Raph knows the thing he'll always blame himself for is picking the fight in the first place.)

It took them several days to learn what had happened to him. Even more days to learn where he was taken. And now they're stuck on the side of the road in Nebraska while Donnie fixes a flat.

Mikey's dozing against his shoulder. He hasn't been getting enough sleep, not that any of them have. April's handing Donnie tools and keeping him company while he changes the tire. Draxum and Splinter are inside the tank, on the lookout for cops with the help of Donnie's police scanners.

It's cool since the sun went down. Quiet. Crickets are out and playing their songs. Raph's seen a few deer, and an owl. The stars are twinkling overhead, and it's calm, peaceful.

The weight on his shoulder is suddenly gone; Raph looks down to find Mikey sitting up straight, wide awake and head cocked to the side like a bloodhound who just caught a scent.

He opens his mouth to ask - and then he feels it too.

It's a cacophony of emotions, strong and hot and mixing together until they're overwhelming. Fear, pain, exhaustion, loneliness, and a blinding fury like even Raph has never felt before. Hatred and bile and the desire to attack, to harm, to destroy.

And underneath it all, a presence as familiar to him as his own, one that's been by his side since almost the day he was hatched. One that is fragile and desperate and screaming out for help.

Leo.

Raph stands up - next to him, Mikey is already on his feet. Raph reaches out his hand, his ninpo flaring to life, straining out into the open air like if he just stretches far enough, he can pluck Leo out of the hell he's trapped in and bring him home.

But he can't reach far enough, because the EPF took him all the way to Colorado. And they're still on the side of the road in Nebraska.

As quickly as it came, the presence is dying away again. It shrinks smaller and smaller and then fizzles out. Raph releases his breath, letting his ninpo fall away, his fingers still grasping open air.

A sniffle. Raph looks down and finds Mikey sobbing. He scoops his little brother into his arms, and Mikey throws himself into Raph's chest, heaving breaths shaking his tiny frame.

"Leo," he whimpers. All Raph can do is pat his shell.

He turns to take stock of Donnie next, carrying Mikey over. His other little brother has tears trickling down his face, too, more subdued but still visible. He's holding his wrench in a vice grip, and for once he doesn't utter a single protest when Raph reaches out and tucks him in under his free arm.

"...What just happened?" asks April, hesitant. Raph wishes he knew how to explain.

"It was Leo!" Mikey does it for him. "He... he's reaching for us."

"What!? Like, mind meld or something!?"

"No," answers Raph. "I don't really know what that was... but it was definitely Leo."

"So..." April pauses, eyes searching each of their faces. "Is he... okay?"

None of them know what to say, but she gets it anyway.

"...I'm going to destroy the EPF," says Donnie, voice dark and cold. "I'm going to raze it to the ground. There will be nothing left."

Raph squeezes his shoulders, pulling him closer.

He doesn't know what to do other than agree.

-----

"This is a good thing," says Draxum. "That means he's still alive."

"But they're hurting him!" Mikey argues. He's halfway in Draxum's lap, arms wrapped around Draxum's middle. Donnie sits on one of the bench seats, curled tight around his own legs, while Splinter strokes his head. Raph sits on the bench seat across from them, April leaning against his side.

"I told you what the EPF is capable of," Draxum reminds them. "This is not a surprise."

"Read the room, Barry," says April.

Splinter's look is increasingly far away, his touch on Donnie's head automatic and absentminded. He's able to stay in the room with them when there's something to do, but now the fear and depression are threatening to take him away again. For the hundredth time since this nightmare began, Raph feels the hopelessness set in.

Draxum sucks, but he's right, echoes the voice in his head that sounds too much like Leo. The plan hasn't changed. Now get moving before you tire out.

"Drax is right that Leo's alive," Raph echoes. "So we need to get a move on. Donnie, how's the tank?"

Donnie uncurls, coaxed by the request to talk about his baby. "The spare's on, and I did some checks on the engine and interior systems. We're ready to go."

"Alright." Raph stands up, rolling his shoulders. "It's Raph's turn to drive. Everyone buckle up."

The mood in the tank shifts after that; they have a direction, and a plan. Leo is hurt, but he's still alive, and nothing has changed.

Donnie and April sit together in the front seats. Mikey passes around snacks and drinks from their cooler, then snuggles in between their dad and Draxum. Draxum says something negative about the snack food, which pulls Splinter out of his trance and starts up some heated bickering between them. Even more of the tension leaks out of the cab.

Raph puts the tank in drive and pulls back onto the quiet highway, driving west again. At their back, the sun starts to rise.

-----

It's late in the day when they reach Colorado Springs.

Donnie was able to pin the EPF base's location down to the mountains surrounding the town, but he couldn't find its exact location. Whatever equipment they have, it's completely scrambled the subcutaneous tracker Donnie put on Leo (and boy, was that a stir when Donnie revealed he'd put trackers on all of them). It had taken a combination of Donnie's hacking and April's investigative skills to get this far.

"It makes sense," says April as they pull the tank into a campsite outside the city limits. "There's, what, three bases here? Where better to hide a secret branch of the military than with the military?"

There's snow on the ground outside, even though it's early May. Even so, the temperature was pretty mild while the sun was up. "It's the proximity to the mountains," Donnie explains when Raph mentions it, but the rest of the explanation blurs together. He's too tired to keep up with Donnie's science facts, but infodumping calms his brother down, so he lets him do it and nods along.

They eat a proper meal that Mikey cooks for them on one of the campsite grills, then settle in to nap until the sun goes down. Raph isn't sleeping, and he can tell from all the shifting around that Mikey and Donnie aren't, either. They're too close to Leo now to rest.

But you gotta catch some Zs before you go storming into enemy territory, the Leo in his head reminds him.

Raph hates every second you're in there, he thinks. But it won't be long now. Big bro's comin'.

He wishes the Leo in his head would say that he believes that. But all Raph can remember are the words they said during the fight, and he never quite goes to sleep.

-----

They break into pairs for their search. Raph goes with April, Mikey with Splinter, and Donnie stays with Draxum at the tank. Donnie uses his tech to try and narrow down the location of the base, while the other two teams go in opposite directions and start scouting the area on foot.

It takes a long time for them to learn anything, and as the sun comes up again, Raph starts to worry that they're going to have to leave Leo trapped for another full day.

But then he and April finally get a lead. They send the info to Donnie, and it helps narrow down his search.

Just after dawn, they reconvene at the tank, gathered around satellite images and drone shots of a nondescript military compound several miles outside the city.

"There it is," says Donnie with finality. "That's where they're keeping Leo."

"Then what are waiting for?" asks Mikey.

Wait for dark, says the Leo in Raph's head.

And that advice makes sense. There will be fewer employees at night. The dark provides natural cover. It's sane. It's smart.

Raph ignores it entirely.

He's not leaving his little brother with those people for one second longer. Not after what he felt, sitting on the side of the road in Nebraska.

"We're not waiting for anything," he says. "Let's move out."

From the looks on their faces, they all agree.

------

The site looks as generic as possible. There's a high electric fence circling the whole thing, with a basic "No Trespassing - Government Property" sign. A simple guard stand sits at the drive-in gate. The buildings visible beyond are drab and featureless.

The government stopped publicly funding the EPF in the nineties, Draxum had told them. But the organization had never truly gone away; it was just funded through underground means now. Miscellaneous defense funding. Anonymous donations. Private benefactors.

Originally it had been founded to defend Earth against aliens. But when no alien threat appeared, they moved on to a new mission: defending the United States against yokai.

"Even though we were here first," Draxum had said testily. "Typical Americans."

Raph hadn't liked anything Draxum had to tell them about the EPF. That they weren't bound by any of the laws the rest of the military was. That the yokai they had managed to capture were never seen again. That Draxum had had a very brief run-in with them once, decades ago, and he doubted they had ever forgotten it.

Really, though, all he'd needed to know was that they had his brother.

It's the middle of the morning, so their stealth options are limited. Still, they aren't ninja for nothing; they use the forest and the snowy terrain to their advantage and sneak their way into the compound. Raph has to admit, he was a little worried about Draxum on the trip over, but the old goat does a pretty good job keeping up.

It takes them a bit of time to work out which building to enter. They rule out a mess hall, a medical ward, the barracks, and some kind of training center first. Then, toward the furthest reaches of the compound, they find a building that looks particularly suspicious, with a guard gate on the path leading to it and more armed guards on the roof.

"That has to be it," says Raph. No one disagrees.

They use a passing supply truck to slip past the guard gate, then sneak around the back and use a fire ladder to get to the roof. They dispatch the guards on top quickly and easily, then find a ventilation shaft leading inside. Mikey, Donnie, April, and Splinter fit easily enough, but Raph and Draxum are too big to wiggle through.

"Find out where we're going. Radio us as soon as you find something," Raph says. Then he gives Mikey, April, and Donnie's shoulders each a squeeze in turn. "And be careful."

"Take care of Red," their dad says to Draxum just before he follows the others inside.

"He's safe with me," Draxum promises.

"You're safe with Raph," Raph feels the need to say. Splinter chuckles before disappearing into the shaft after his siblings.

Waiting outside becomes nerve-wracking quickly. Raph starts to pace the length of the roof, back and forth, glancing at the unconscious guards from time to time to make sure they're still unconscious.

"You're going to wear a rut on the roof," Draxum admonishes him. Raph keeps going anyway.

-----

Finally, after what feels like ages but is only about ten minutes, his radio crackles. Raph freezes, pulling his wrist close, where Donnie's tech is hidden under his wraps.

"Hey." It's April's voice. She sounds out of breath, but not distressed. "Come to the back of the building. Should be a door."

"On our way," says Raph, waving at Draxum to follow before dropping off the roof.

The door is easy enough to find, the snow around it trampled down. He gives the metal a rap with his knuckles when he gets there, and the door swings open, April grinning, her bat perched against her shoulder. Behind her is another unconscious guard.

"Nice, April," says Raph, hustling inside. He kicks the last of the snow off his feet once he's on the cold linoleum floor, Draxum following suit. April lets the door swing shut again. "Where's everyone else?"

"We found some kinda security room. Leo's gear was in there." She pushes by and starts to lead them down the hall, voice low, eyes watching for anyone rounding the corner. "Donnie's poking through the camera footage. Didn't look like anyone much was in this hall, so I came to get you."

"And Leonardo?" asks Draxum.

April gives a shake of her head. "Haven't found him yet, but he's gotta be here. There's not much more of the building to search, so we're close."

Raph peeks in open doors and through windows as they walk, taking in the space. It looks like an ordinary office building inside; nothing nefarious, except for the fact that the people working here are kidnapping scum who have done something so terrible to his little brother it made him scream out in anguish and fury. But if he hadn't known that coming in, he wouldn't have expected anything. It all looks very...

Raph comes to a sudden stop. Through the sliver of window in a door, he sees the first occupied room since he's entered the building. Only one person is inside, wearing a white lab coat and tapping away at a computer.

But what's more interesting is the door on the other side of the room: solid metal with no window, and a sign that reads "Inmate Observation - Authorized Access Only".

Raph grabs April by the shoulder before she can get too far ahead, pointing at the window. "Do you know what's in there?"

She turns back and takes a peek. "...No. I don't think we went through there yet."

So they haven't ruled this part of the building out yet. And it's the only one so far with anyone inside.

Inmate Observation.

"Raph, wait, I think we should-" April starts, but Raph doesn't listen. Raph can't stop himself.

His little brother is in here. He knows he is. The one who was taken from them. The one who cried out to them in fear, begging to be saved.

He's not making Leo wait a moment longer.

Raph throws open the door and marches inside.

"...Okay," April says behind him. "I guess we're doing it this way.

-----

The scientist or whoever they are tries to radio for help. Raph picks the radio up and crushes it in his hand. They turn and run, and that takes care of that.

April calls the others on her radio. Raph doesn't listen to the conversation. His eyes are locked on the door.

Inmate Observation.

He reaches out and throws the door back with a bang.

He's ready for the gunshots before they come, and his ninpo is already active, forming a protective bubble around himself and shielding Draxum and April. He's expecting bullets, but instead it's darts; they embed themselves harmlessly in the arms of his projection. Raph waits until the volley stops, then drops the projection, and the darts fall harmlessly to the floor.

He steps into the room and clocks one of the guards on the head before they can reload, watching as they fall to the ground. April wallops the other one, then kicks their fallen gun under a desk. She brandishes her bat at the other occupants of the room: two more scientists in lab coats, and one steely faced man in a suit.

The scientists seem intimidated. The suited man does not.

"Ah," he says. "So you've finally made it here, Draxum."

"Bishop." Draxum sounds equally unimpressed. "I thought you died in the nineties."

"So does most of the world. It's convenient for my work."

"You guys know each other?" April asks, looking between them.

"We know of each other." Draxum sneers. "If my plans had gone as I intended, he would truly be dead by now."

Raph narrows his eyes at the man. "Are you the one who's been keeping my brother here?"

To his credit, Bishop still looks unphased, even though Raph is tall enough to hulk over him. "I am the director of this facility."

It's enough of a yes.

Raph rushes Bishop, slamming him into the wall behind his back. Raph keeps him pinned, one hand on his neck, the other arm pressed against his chest, and Raph presses until he feels something start to crack.

Bishop hisses but does not cry out.

"Where are you keeping him?" Raph demands.

"He's in there," says Bishop, wheezing only slightly from the constriction on his lungs, his voice firm otherwise.

Raph tosses a look where Bishop indicates, seeing a large window. It's looking into a seemingly empty room; white walls and no furniture other than a toilet in the corner.

"Raph don't see him," he growls.

"He hides under the window." Bishop's eyes flicker to one of the scientists. "Pointless, really," he says, giving the man in the lab coat a nod. "Show them."

The scientist looks uneasy, but he turns and clicks a few buttons on a desktop. A screen pops up, but it doesn't show anything other than static.

"...Something is wrong with our camera signals, sir," the scientist reports.

"Ah." Bishop's eyes glint, and then flick back to Raph's face. "So there are more of you."

Raph doesn't answer that. He gives Bishop a rough shake. "What have you done to him?"

"Your brother?" Bishop clarifies. "Nothing."

Another shake. "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying." Bishop's eyes are steely, even as his wheezing picks up the more Raph leans into his chest. "Other than as was necessary to move him, we have not touched him."

Raph doesn't move an inch. "I don't believe that."

"Then see for yourself." Bishop looks at the other scientist now, giving a small nod of his head. "Dr. Keller, open the door for this brute so he'll stop assaulting me."

Raph scowls, staying exactly where he is while the other scientist scurries to the metal door by the window and inputs a code into a keypad. There's a beep, and a clipped, artificial voice says, "Inmates clear the door. Security personnel entering. Stay still and you will not be harmed."

Finally, Raph lets Bishop go, and approaches the door.

-----

When Raph imagined one of them getting kidnapped by a shady, quasi-governmental agency intent on imprisoning mutants, he always pictured something... different.

He thought they would be in cages, not tall enough to stand in. That they would be fed from dog bowls or water drippers. That handlers would patrol the room with cattle prods, ready to shock anyone who stepped out of line.

But there is no cage, and no cattle prods. Leo is just in a room.

The first thing Raph notices about the room is the cold. The rest of the building is hardly stifling, but even then, the blast of air that comes through the open door feels like Raph is stepping into a freezer.

As he saw from outside, there's no furniture. Or he doesn't think there is, until he looks down, under the window, and finds a cot.

And what's on the cot makes his heart stop.

Raph can barely remember the last time he saw Leo pull himself fully into his shell for anything other than shell bowling. He complained that it was too small, that the hot and cramped space made him feel claustrophobic.

Now he's completely pulled inside, still and silent in a way Leo should never be.

For an eternity, Raph thinks he's too late. They came all the way here only to save Leo's corpse.

"Leo...?"

He kneels by the cot, reaching out and putting a hand on Leo's shell. He's cold to the touch, and it unsettles Raph even further. He shouldn't be this cold.

Raph keeps his hand where it is and stays very still and very quiet. And he waits.

And then he hears it, so faint he almost misses it: a terrified, whimpering chirp.

Leo is alive.

Raph feels tears spring to his eyes. He puts his other hand on Leo's shell, rubbing in big, soothing motions.

"Leo! Leo, it's me! We're here, we're getting you out! It's all going to be okay, just trust Big Raphie, alright?"

So saying, Raph straightens back up, and grabs Leo's shell in his hands to carry him out, to take his little brother home.

A hand shoots out of the shell, stick thin. Though it's clearly weak, it grabs on to Raph's arm with a desperate ferocity, clawing at the skin there.

Raph freezes, not putting Leo down but not lifting him any further, either. He peers into the gap in Leo's shell, and sees eyes peering back at him, glassy and wide and full of terror. A cornered animal fighting for his life.

Raph takes a deep breath. He summons all the love he has for Leo, all the relief he feels at finding him alive, all the happiness he has from having his little brother in his arms again, and he pours it into a genuine smile, no matter the danger outside.

"Hey, Leo," he says, voice soft. "It's just me. Raph came to get ya. Everything's okay now."

A second passes, then five, then twenty. April starts to come in, but Raph waves a finger at her to tell her to go back before she startles Leo. He keeps the smile on his face, his eyes locked on Leo's, his hold secure but non-threatening.

And then, slowly, Leo pokes his head out.

"Raph?" he asks, in a voice that is exhausted and hoarse and warbling and absolutely beautiful.

"Yeah," says Raph, blinking tears back. "Hey, buddy."

Steadily, Leo unfurls the rest of himself, one limb emerging at a time. He looks terrible. His cheeks are sunken and gaunt, his skin is an unhealthy color, his eyes are ringed by dark black circles showing off how little he's slept.

Raph is so happy to see him. He so wishes this wasn't the state he was finding Leo in. If he could turn back time and make it so Leo never suffered, he would in a heartbeat. But he's so happy to have Leo back that the tears keep flowing.

The grip Leo has on his arm shifts. No longer trying to claw himself free, but grabbing on, holding still, with all the same desperation as before. His eyes search Raph's face, over and over until it seems he's finally satisfied.

"Raph," he repeats, and it's not a question this time.

"Yeah," Raph says anyway. "I'm here."

He lifts Leo the rest of the way, cradling Leo against his chest. Leo's so much lighter than he should be, and Raph feels a sharp pain in his heart over it.

It's okay. They'll leave. They'll take care of him. And then Leo will be all better again.

Leo shifts himself, reaching one arm up and hooking it around Raph's neck. Just that much movement seems to sap a lot of energy, and he slumps his head against Raph, giving up on holding it upright. It reminds Raph of when they were little and he would carry Leo to bed, before Leo started insisting he's too old for that.

"Am I dreaming?" Leo whispers.

Raph's heart breaks, but he doesn't lose his smile. "Nope. You're wide awake."

"Then..." Leo nuzzles closer. "Can we go home?"

"Yeah." Raph sniffles, shifting his grip so he can get a hand free without disturbing Leo. "We can go home."

Leo doesn't say anything more, just hums quietly against Raph's neck. Raph wipes his tears away, then turns and carries Leo out of the room.

-----

Bishop is still against the wall; it's Draxum's vines holding him there now.

When Leo sees him, he shrinks into himself, crossing the arm not hooked around Raph over his chest. Raph turns his body so Leo is shielded from view, glaring hard at Bishop as he does.

"Didn't do anything to him, huh?" he asks, voice icy.

"He is unharmed," says Bishop, equally cold. Raph wants to kill him.

"That's enough out of you," says Draxum, and a new vine wraps around Bishop's mouth. That shuts him up.

April's eyes are wide, her hand over her mouth as she looks at Leo, but she quickly pulls herself together, her expression turning to one of hard steel. She comes closer, only softening when Leo's eyes lock on her.

"Hey, Leo," she says, reaching up and giving his arm a pat. "How're you feelin'?"

"Happy to see you," Leo rasps, and it's so sincere that Raph feels tears spring to his eyes again. April has to blink hard behind her glasses.

"We're really happy to see you, too."

"Yes, everyone is happy now," says Draxum, though his eyes are worried as they look Leo over. "But we still need to get out of here."

"Right." April opens the door back into the offices, letting Raph through, before she pulls up her wrist to talk into her Donnie tech. "Guys, you there?"

"We're here, April," comes Donnie's voice. "We've extracted the information and we're on our way to meet you."

"Great." She smiles up at Raph. "We got Leo."

"Leo!" Mikey's voice comes booming through the radio, loud enough that April cringes and leans back. Raph can hear Donnie make a noise of protest in the background. "Is he okay!? Can I talk to him!? Did he miss me!?"

April raises her wrist so the tech is in front of Leo's mouth. He tilts his head towards it, saying, "Course I missed you."

"LEO!" screams Mikey even louder, and Raph thinks he hears the shout from somewhere in the building, too.

"-key, give me back my arm-" comes Donnie's voice, then there's an exaggerated throat clearing before he's saying, "We'll be there in one minute. Be ready to move."

"We're ready," Raph assures him. They move to the door and watch for the others to appear.

-----

Days of stress seem to fall off his brothers and Splinter when they see Leo.

Raph wishes they could have all the hugs and reassurances he knows they all need, but there's just no time; they're still in enemy territory, and the man who hurt his brother the most is just behind two doors, only being held by Draxum's vines. There's time only for brief shoulder touches and for Splinter to jump up on Raph's shoulder and give Leo's forehead a quick, relieved kiss.

Raph gives the rest of his family a quick glance over. Mikey is carrying Leo's gear, the katana sheathed across his shell and the rest of it slung over his shoulder. They haven't gotten any injuries, as far as he can tell. Everyone looks good to go.

"How do we get out of here?" asks Raph. Donnie pulls up his wrist tech.

"It may be inevitable that we'll face resistance on our way out... But the closest door is this way." He points down the hall, back the way Raph, Draxum, and April came from.

There's a weak thump against Raph's shoulder. "Gunners on the roof," Leo rasps once he has Raph's attention.

Raph wonders how he knows that, but there's no time to ask.

"We took care of 'em," he says instead. "You just relax, okay? We're getting out of here."

Leo lets his head fall against Raph's shoulder again, and Raph takes that as the okay to move.

It takes less time to get out than it did to get in. No need for stealth now that the director knows they're here, after all.

They run down the hallways, through doors, past the still unconscious guard April took care of earlier. Draxum takes the lead through the door, and they all crash as a group outside.

Where a ring of soldiers are waiting for them, guns trained their direction. And Raph isn't sure they're loaded with darts this time.

Leo shudders in his arms, and Raph curls protectively around him, already summoning his ninpo to shield them. His family forms their own protective barrier around the two of them, readying their weapons and squaring off against the soldiers.

Behind them, the door opens.

"This doesn't have to end in anyone getting hurt," says Bishop as he walks out.

Raph doesn't turn towards him, keeping the shivering Leo out of his sight. "What, like you didn't hurt my brother?"

"I've already told you, I didn't touch him." Bishop sounds only mildly put out. "He can attest to that himself."

"It's cute that you think any of us care what you have to say," snaps April, rounding on him and pointing her bat his direction.

"You should care what I have to say." Bishop nods at Raph. "Your comrade needs medical attention. Care that I can provide, if you lower your weapons and surrender."

"Care he only needs 'cause you jerks kidnapped him!" yells Mikey.

"Mikey," whispers Leo. Raph glances down at him, but Leo isn't looking his way.

"I gave Inmate 24365 plenty of chances to cooperate in exchange for more comfortable living conditions. That he declined was his choice. But I have no wish to see him dead. We were going to transfer him to the medical unit just as you arrived and interrupted us; surrender, and we'll take him there now."

"No," snaps Splinter, stepping toward Bishop. "You will come nowhere near my sons ever again."

"Mikey," Leo hisses with more urgency.

"These turtles are your sons? Really?" Bishop sounds disbelieving. Raph still doesn't turn his direction. "What am I supposed to believe next? That humans can give birth to birds?"

"They are my sons!" Splinter asserts. "Come near them again, and you are dead!"

"Perhaps we should kill him now, Lou Jitsu, and be done with it," Draxum suggests.

"Mikey," says Leo, kicking one emaciated foot. Mikey finally looks their way, confused. "Gimme... swords."

He doesn't have to explain. But Raph feels uneasy. He exchanges a glance with Donnie, who seems similarly concerned. "Nardo, I don't think-"

"Hey," says Leo, and even though his vocal chords sound tired and out of use, they can all hear him, their confident face-man of a brother, with a big ego and a cocky tone, shining through. "Trust me, I got this."

Mikey gives him the katana.

"The American government have allowed the yokai to live peacefully within our borders up until now," says Bishop. "If you kill me, that peace will be ruined."

"This war was started when you kidnapped my child!" cries Splinter, snapping his tail.

"You threaten the Hidden Cities as though you know anything about them," says Draxum. "They do not fear you."

"We know more about them than you think."

"You expect me to listen to this blathering?"

"Is it a chance you're willing to take, Draxum?"

Draxum falls silent. The lack of answer makes Raph feel even more on edge. But Leo is holding his katana now.

"You'll threaten the yokai no matter what we do today," says Splinter, voice dark. "No. We will not hand Leonardo over to you. You will not lay a single finger on him."

"So you're saying you won't surrender." Bishop pauses. Leo takes a deep breath. "You agree, Draxum?"

"...Leonardo is my creation. My son." Draxum sounds resolute. "No. I will not surrender."

Bishop scoffs. "Your son... this animal."

It's only the fact that he's holding Leo, fragile and shaking in his arms, that keeps Raph from turning around and killing Bishop right then.

But he doesn't, and Bishop raises his voice.

"Baron Draxum is a known yokai terrorist, who has threatened mass murder on the civilian human population of the United States and the rest of the earth. These five yokai are co-conspirators, and this woman with them a sympathizer and accomplice. They are attacking this base with the intent to harm those inside, and so anything we do now is self defense."

There's a smile in his tone as he says it.

"Fire at will."

Around them, triggers are pulled, and gunshots sound off.

But the flash of blue under their feet is faster.

For the first time since coming outside, Raph chances a look over his shoulder at Bishop, just as he's falling through the portal. Bullets whiz overhead, and one hits home.

The last thing Raph sees as he disappears into the blue light is blood blooming across Bishop's suit.

-----

They fall out of the portal somewhere outside the fence. Raph's not sure exactly where. He's not even sure Leo was aiming, beyond getting them away.

He lets out a relieved laugh, looking around at everyone, in one piece and notably not shot. They still have to get back to the tank, but they made it. They're safe.

"Leo! You did it!" He whoops, looking down at his little brother. "I can't believe you really- ...Leo?"

That's when he realizes that Leo isn't moving.

He's slumped over in Raph's hold, no longer holding himself up. His katana slip out of his lax grip and fall into the snow with a soft whump.

"L-leo!? LEO!"

Part 1 | Part 2 (here) | Part 3 (coming soon)

[sssilverstoned]

while you can still smell them ꩜ ln4

type: full length fic

word count: 3.9k

title from: i wish you roses by kali uchis

warnings: some fluff, angst, but like it's a happy ending. cursing bc i'm me, italics are memories

lily said: you know me i can never leave well enough alone. i thought this little snapshot of the break that was never really a break would be cute! for context, i'd suggest looking at the ig au linked below! this would be taking place in between part 2 and 3.

part 1

part 2

part 3

masterlist

You've only seen Lando cry on occasions that called for it. When family members died, when racing got too much for his mental, in some awful, awful moments. Maybe that's why it hurts so bad to see him cry now.

"A break feels a lot like you should add 'up' to that statement," he had said, turning away from you, looking out at the stars. You were sat on his balcony, feeling suffocated by the apartment. But the AC was on and working fine, and windows were open. Your emotions were suffocating you, that was more fitting.

"We can't keep on like this, Lan," you say in a broken voice, the lump in your throat thick and threatening. "It's not fair to either of us."

He doesn't realize he's crying until the drop hits his nose, making it quirk up in surprise. He swipes at his face, a pawlike move to get rid of the teardrops.

"Do you not love me anymore?"

His question makes you sob. Full body, head dropping to chest, your hands writing in your lap. The sound of you breaking down turns him back to you, rushing to the chair you've melted into. He lifts your face in his hands, and you take a breath when you see his face, discolored with tears.

"I'll always love you," he makes out of your words, just barely. "I, I just, it's not the same,"

"We can fix this, us. We can work on it together," Lando's brain is whirring at hyper speed, damage controlling the last 8 months of your lives together.

The cracks began to become schisms when he committed your largest pet peeve, which was ignoring things out of ease. Blissful ignorance, if you will.

It was small things, like forgetting about date nights in lieu of longer trainings or prolonging trips. Sometimes he forgot to water the plants, or didn't move laundry over, and that was manageable. That's what every couple encounters. What every couple does not encounter, was the intense pressure of racing a car for a living.

He was frustrated, with Zak, with anything papaya colored, and with his own self-doubts. He carried that frustration in his chest, and it came out in some of the words he spoke to you, and actions he took. You eventually stopped offering to come over and cook, because dinners were becoming continuously tense, and you were uncomfortable. Felt like a nuisance.

But at the same time, you were both so codependent. Without anything being said, you two began to avoid things you assumed the other wouldn't like, and asked for permission to do the smallest of things. You first noticed it when your sister pointed had asked you to come go with her out of town for the weekend, and you hesitated. "I'll have to ask Lando," you had told her. She bit her tongue.

Lando was just as bad, he had quite literally lost the ability to sleep when you weren't around. It made Grand Prix weekends an actual nightmare when you weren't there, calling you at any times in the day or night.

"Are you alright, it's 4am,"

"Sorry, can't sleep again. The melatonin does nothing,"

"Did you try the tea my mum got you?"

"Baby I just," he scrubs a hand down his exhausted face. "I just need you here."

"I can't just get up and go to Australia."

"I'll get you a flight, or maybe we can-"

"Lando," you say in a sterner voice. "I can't."

He's quiet for a moment, and you wonder what's going through his head. You hardly raised your voice or got intense, certainly never at him. But then again, recently, you seemed to never know what was going through his head.

It was silly to think that Lando was the same man that you began dating. You were 19, you would pray that he had changed somehow over the span of 5 years. But there was something missing that once was. The relationship was becoming more of a task, and that wasn't right. Which is what brought you to this moment, brought you to telling him you needed to talk.

"Lan," you whimper, bringing a hand up where his hold your face on either side. You don't even have to say anything more, he knows you better than you know yourself. And he begins to cry harder.

"I've never loved anyone but you, baby."

"I know."

"I can't, I really don't want to live without you," he shakes his head, standing back up to his full height. His hands stay busy, though, ripping through his hair.

"I'm not going to go away," you explain, agonized that you're calmer than he at this point. You stand from the wicker chair, but don't edge closer to him. "But my career is unpredictable right now, 6 months in Marbella is a long time. And you're, well, everywhere. And you need to focus on that."

"I've multitasked for 5 years," he says bitterly, making you sigh. His eyes are back on the stars, and his back to you makes your eyes blurry again.

"I'm not happy." You finally blurt, making his body stiffen. "I'm really not."

When he looks at you again, his expression reads clearly with fatigue, with anguish. "Please, baby, don't,"

It's your turn to clutch his face, bringing his forehead to touch with yours. Through your contact, you feel the heaves of his body, the breaths he's trying to control. "It's not forever," you whisper, mustering courage. "But we need to stop acting like everything's fine."

"I don't see myself without you."

"You're not," your hold tightens, he leans further into your palm, "but we've grown up together. The flower pot's too small now," you try to joke, he barely can fake amusement.

"I'll buy a thousand new pots."

"We need to clean up the broken one, first." His jaw clenches, you soothe it with your thumb. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." He says back, almost silently. "Still wear that Mclaren shirt on race days, I need the luck."

You finally crack a smile. "I'll wear the hat too if my hairstyle permits."

He kisses you, almost convincing himself this if is the last fix he can get for a while, he needed it now. Not that either of you know it, but you both have the same thought. You both notice that your cheeks have each other's tears on them now, not sure which ones came from whom. You were on the same page in that regard, at least.

꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜

"You should ask y/n out," your best friend says to Lando in the middle of a party. He chokes on his drink, not expecting her to come up to him like she did, and not expecting the words out her mouth.

You all were freshly 19, still congregating in someone's living room to try to have a good time. He knew your friends better than he knew you, the newest of the group in town, only having moved to the area with your family when you were 16.

"Should I, now?" He says, recovering from his fright.

"Yeah," she replies, ignoring the sarcasm. "She goes on about you, it's cute. She'd hurt me if she knew I told you, though. Not sure what she sees in you," his eyes narrow at the girl, which she ignores once again. "You'd be lucky to have a girl like her in your life."

That much, he knew. You were fiercely loyal to your friends and family, and treated him with a kindness that made him melt every time. You were funny, and genuine, and not to mention, the most beautiful person he's sure he knows.

When he bumps into you later at the party, he asks you what you're doing the following evening.

That was the story he'd tell people with a proud grin when they ask how you two got together. All you recount is how he nearly ruined your cute top with a shitty guinness.

He's struck with the memory when he sees the guinness logo in the ads on the walls of a restaurant. "Mate," Max all but snaps his fingers. Lando locks back in, humming for what he missed.

"Was just curious if you wanted to go out tonight. They've been texting in the chat about it, I saw you never responded."

Clubbing wasn't as fun as it used to be, not when you weren't dancing your heart out beside him, or waiting in bed with your nose in a book when he came home because you weren't feeling like going out. It felt like a waste of his time, and like he was sucking the fun out of other people's nights.

"'M alright," he says with a tight mouthed grin. "Gonna sit this one out."

Max looks at his friend, seeing through his response. "When's the last time you went out?"

If he had to take an educated guess, you last graced his apartment that night on the balcony, 4 weeks ago. So, 4 weeks ago. Perhaps longer, judging by the schisms. "A while. Not up to it."

"You're torturing yourself."

"I'm not interested in getting shitfaced, Max."

Max looks away for a second, quickly weighing the pros and cons of asking what he's been wanting to for the last, well, 4 weeks. "Do you think Y/n is wallowing too?"

The sound of your name makes his fingers twitch inadvertently, almost like a flinch. "That's not fair."

"I'm serious, Lando. You said she needed a break because she felt like you two were co-dependent and not actually working through problems, and look at you. You're not functioning without her. I mean, it's your fucking birthday next week, and you haven't brought it up once, you realize that, right?"

He knows he's right. Nothing he said was out of line, or wrong, and that's why Lando has nothing to say back. He wants to argue, to prove him wrong, but he can't. He's seen your ads and campaigns, the beautiful shots of you promoting luxury brands and names that your fans only dreamed of owning. Despite the distance, he was so proud of you still. You worked hard, were disciplined and humble through your success. He had texted you when the Dior campaign had launched, and the message of your thanks, with a smiley face, made him, for just a second, think that things were back to normal.

When they left the restaurant, and ran directly into fans, Lando tried to put on his best face for them, smiling for selfies and signing what was gestured toward him. When a sweet looking girl with glasses shyly spoke up, telling her favorite driver where she was visiting from, his tired eyes light up. "You're from there?" He confirms, and she smiles with an eager nod.

"Y/n is too," he almost mumbles, but every fan in earshot heard it. The typical squeals followed, the hushed whispers amonst themselves on if they'd push the questions they were itching to ask or not. And heard it they did, as the encounter made its way onto social media and gossip pages. But Max was right, his mourning period needed to be over, if anything was going to change for the better.

You call him on his birthday. It was nerve wracking, which made you bitterly laugh, because never did you think you'd be nervous to talk to Lando Norris of all people. One of the few people in the world you wholeheartedly trusted.

It had only been about a month since you requested time apart, and he had honored that. The texts were sparse, the calls nonexistent. Although, that was sort of what had brought you to this point anyway. But you were working on yourself, and your career at the same time, and things were looking better. Change never happened overnight, but the journal your therapist recommended, and the disappearance from social media besides professional posts were great starts.

You bite at your cuticle as the phone rings. You take your cell away from your ear, chest panging at the contact name "Lan <3" at the top of the screen. Was he really going to screen your call? Is that what you deserved, possibly?

"Y/n," he finally answers, and you quickly bring your phone back to your ear.

"Hi," you say awkwardly. "Happy birthday, Lando."

"Thank you," he says stiffly. "I'm happy to hear from you."

"Yeah I um, haven't really been on my phone here," you bite harder on your finger. "I think it's nice here, you'd love Marbella."

"I'm sure I would," he says with what you can hear is a smile. "I miss you, you know?"

"I miss you too," you concede, "how have you been?"

"Not great, I won't lie. Much rather would hear about you."

"'s not my birthday," and he smiles a bit at that.

"Well, racing's fine. But Max is sick of my shit, says I've been wallowing."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Yeah."

You don't really know what to say, you've rarely been the perpetrator of his negative feelings. No relationship was perfect, but you all hadn't really hit a communication wall until now. It was uncharted, scary territory. "Well, I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, that was all. Have a good day, really. 24 is a big one. Kobe year, that's what someone said to me. I hope this year is great for you."

"Y/n, wait," he halts your beginnings to hang up. "I'd like to come to see you soon, I've got some time before Abu Dhabi and maybe I could swing by Spain on the way."

"Lando," he absolutely hates that you're calling him by his whole name. Lan, that's what would you called him almost exclusively. Lando feels so formal from you.

He needs to hear it, you know he does. He needs to hear that you want to see him, that you need to see him just as much as he yearns to put eyes on you once more. But you were constantly afraid of accidental manipulation, holding him by some invisbile garotte. But this was his first birthday you hadn't celebrated together since you were 19, that meant something.

"Please focus on racing," you implore, and squeeze your eyes shut before adding, "but you if you'd like to come and it won't be an issue in your plans, you're more than welcome."

꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜꩜

You saw the posts, it wasn't very hard. Fans utterly disappointed that you and Lando hadn't been seen together in ages, putting pieces together quickly after you didn't post for his birthday. It didn't make you feel worse, to be truthful, and to your surprise. You were sure there'd be a barrage of insults hurled your way, maybe a cheating rumor or two. But really, all there was to see were requiems for your relationship, nostalgia for what once was. What did cause you to delete instagram from your phone, was the response to the podcast.

You were single for the time being, that's what you and Lando had agreed on when he visited you. It wasn't an invitation to go out and find the next man to lay in your bed, but you both had agreed that it wasn't healthy to hold out in anticipation of your rekindling.

"You're the only girl I've, you know," he awkwardly trailed off, scratching the back of his neck. He sits up in bed, linens pooling around his hips. Hooking up with your now ex-boyfriend, might've not been your brightest idea, sure, but you were both human, at the end of the day.

"Fucked?" you tease, remaining comfortable against your plush pillow. "I know. First few times kinda showed that."

He looks back at you pointedly. "You cried the first time."

"It hurt!"

He rolls his eyes, shaking his head in fake annoyance. You grin. "I'm sure the girlies are gonna have a field day with you being single now,"

He rolls his eyes again, laying, or rathing slumping, back into the pillow next to you. His arm instinctively comes around the top of your head, you try not to lean into it. "I think I really will finally listen to you and focus on racing."

You turn on your side, admiring his profile as he stares up at the ceiling, probably tangled in his thoughts. His nose sloped perfectly, the little freckles dotting his skin like constellations. Your boy.

"I told my mum."

He snorts. "She hates me now, I'm sure."

"Mm, no, her first ask was what I did," your mom was Lando's biggest fan, through and through. Of course, you were her daughter, but she was convinced he was cosmically made perfectly for you.

He looks at you then, realizing your eyes have been on him the whole time. He copies your position, turning to you so your bodies lay parallel, nowhere to look but each other's eyes.

"Do you regret that I'm the only boyfriend you've ever had?"

You immediately shake your head in denial of the question. "No, not at all," you were lucky, if anything. "You?"

"Well, I've had other girlfriends,"

"Ouch?"

"You knew that," he chuckles, and yeah, you did. "But I don't regret that you're the only one I've been serious about. I still am."

"I know. I am too."

"An ex-boyfriend doesn't lay in bed with you, you know."

"And an ex-girlfriend doesn't still remind your team when your doctor's appointments are,"

"Fair enough, guess we're just weird."

You share a matching grin. "So weird."

So once Alex uploaded the Call Her Daddy episode you were a guest on, and it was official to the masses that you had been single for now almost 4 months, the articles came in. The timelines of you and Lando's relationship, the rumors of him leaving clubs with random girls. You'd be lying if you said you didn't zoom in on some of their faces, relaxing when you recongized most of them as friends or even family members. He wasn't yours to be worried about, you suppose, but you also knew that any girl he decided to share his time with would be a lucky one.

Your friends had tried to get you on dates, that wasn't a lie when you said that on the podcast. But you weren't ever excited to get to know someone new, small talk was painful and you didn't feel comfortable going home with them.

But then, a few weeks later into February, you get a phone call from Lando. "Hi," You answer, pleasently surprised.

"Hey there," he says, sounding slightly out of breath. "How are you?"

"I'm good, great even. Finished up everything down here, leaving Marbella next week to head back home." Home was London to you, not Monaco. You constantly visited, had a family flat there and everything, but couldn't leave officially becuause of your career.

"Congratulations, everything looked stunning," he compliments, and your stomach flutters.

"But um, how are you? I'd ask if you were relaxing, but I'm sure training's well underway."

"Meh, more or less. I'm heading to Surrey next week, actually. Got some stuff to do at HQ."

"Oh," Surrey was only about an hour and a half from where you were in London. "Would you, well, not assuming anything, but if you'd have time to spare, it would be great to catch up?"

This isn't why Lando called you, you fully know this. Who knows what he picked up the phone for, he could be calling to let you know he's eloped with someone he's met in the 6 months you've been apart.

"I'd love to," you hear his grin in his voice. "You haven't moved, have you?"

Not only had you not moved, but you haven't changed much about your flat either. Same bedding, same color schemes, same photos decorating your tables and walls of your friends, family, and Lando. He never took the photos of you down either, and that photo from your 21st birthday was still stuffed in his wallet.

You order takeout, sitting across the kitchen island from each other acting like it didn't feel like your first date again. He acts like he doesn't want to reach out for your hands as you animatedly use them to share stories of Spain, and you act like you don't want to push the curls back that threathen to land over his eyebrows.

The food gets cold as you two catch up, a few glasses of wine becoming a whole bottle gone. You actually can't remember the last time the two of you had done this, and perhaps, absence had truly made your hearts grow fonder.

"Bahrain is on leap day," Lando says, making you gasp.

"That's got to be good luck, no?"

"It's just the first practice,"

"But still, you're starting your first weekend of the year on a special day like that," you muse, "so exciting. I'm excited for you,"

His chest warms at endearment in your voice. You truly and honestly rooted for him through everything, that was one of the things he was most grateful for about you. He knows you don't truly care about all of this, if he won or lost, but that you care about him and his development, how he sees himself and his profession. He fell in love with that about you.

"Would you come?"

You hesitate, daring to look at him from where you had begun to clean the countertop. "To the race? "

He nods, and turn back to the counter. "I don't know, Lan. Is that where we are?"

He hopes so. He's missed you something horrible, prays you missed him just as bad.

Lando takes the cloth from your hand, replacing it with his own. "I know it's only been about 6 months, and that's not enough time to say everything's well and dandy," you fight a smile. "But I want to work through things, with you. I've had nothing but time to consider what was off with us, and I want to be better. For you, more than anything. Yeah, I learned how to be just Lando. But I know I prefer being Lando and Y/n."

You bite your lip, finally meeting his eyes. "I want to take it slow."

"We can do that,"

"So, I don't know if I'm ready for the race. But, my birthday's coming up,"

"It is,"

"And we'll be in Dubai. My sister did it up, got this crazy plan going since it'll be my 25th."

"Quite the old woman you're becoming,"

"Oh get off that," you scoff, pushing his chest. He chuckles and pulls you back into him, where you go willingly. "But, if you can, I'd love for you to come to the dinner."

He raises an eyebrow with a smirk. "You want me to fly to Dubai just for your birthday dinner?"

"You'll be in Saudi Arabia then anyway,"

The smirk gets bigger. "You know my schedule already, love?"

"You're so fucking cheeky, can't stand it," you feign annoyance, but never move from his arms.

He holds you, as your arms delicately find themselves behind his neck, not daring to kiss just yet. To really be honest, you're not sure if you're ready to take that whole plunge.

"I'm happy to be back, even if things are slow. They can be molasses for all I care."

"Thank you for being patient with me," you lean your forehead against his. However, this time, neither of you are crying. Nice, for a change.

"I'd wait decades for you, my love."

After a beat of sweet silence. You speak up once more. "One thing though," he hums to prompt your continuance. "I'm pretty sure, when it's said, it's Y/n and Lando, just so you know."

[typicalbrainchaos]

There are multiple reasons I'm sobbing. 1 could be how gently they are helping this dog w/an injury. Or 2, it's the way the dog is trusting them & patiently waiting while it's being helped, or maybe it's 3, the fact an entire group of Palestinian men are working together to help.4) the bandage is taken from one of the man’s injured leg. He literally took the cloth of his back to help someone else and it didn’t matter that it was a dog who required it. I sobbed whilst seeing it. The kindness of Palestinian men, I’m in complete awe.

As she is leaving, he is yelling: “she’s fine, she’s fine. Come back in 3 days for physical therapy “ ❤️❤️❤️

[acourtofmarvels]

Comfort - Cassian Pt.2

Part 1

Warnings: none. cuteness overload :D

*35 years later*

"Cassian can you please take your feet off the table? We eat there." I smacked his leg and took a seat beside him to eat lunch.

He groaned and obeyed, putting his feet on the ground. "Gimme a bite." He pointed to the sandwich I had just made. I haven't even taken a bite of it yet.

"You just ate like, 3 minutes ago." I took a bite of my sandwich, glaring at him. I swear he is always hungry.

"Yours looks better than mine," he whined like a child.

I looked over at Azriel who was sitting across from us. He'd already finished his lunch and was reading a book at the table.

"Azriel did you not give the dog a treat after lunch?" Azriel lifted his eyes from his book, humor in them.

"That was rude," Cassian replied.

"Let the girl eat her lunch in peace," Azriel defended me, going back to his book.

I stuck my tongue out at Cassian and then took another bite of my sandwich. He was glaring at me but I could see the mischief behind his glare. I'm in trouble.

"Ask the house to-" I stopped my sentence. The air grew cold and eerie. Still, everything went so very still.

Azriel and Cassian felt it too, sitting up straight in their chairs. Something was different. We could all feel it.

There was a thud from the balcony. As if something jumped onto it, or someone landed on it.

Azriel and Cassian stood up simultaneously, grabbing their weapons. Their siphons glowing as they listened around.

Who the hell just landed at the House of Wind? No one can get up here unless they have wings. The Illyrians wouldn't dare to step foot up here. It can't be Mor, she's suppose to be in the Hewn City all day.

Azriel's shadows swirled around him, informing him of whatever just entered our house. My heart plummeted as I saw the color drain from Azriel's face.

"What's wrong? Who's here?" I shot to my feet. I was almost tempted to grab one of the daggers at Cassian's hip. If Azriel was scared then-

"I was expecting some open arms, not swords and daggers."

I don't think I ever turned around so quickly in my life.

Rhysand. Rhys. My brother. He's home. He's here, he's alive.

My knees buckled and I would have fallen to the ground if Cassian had not caught me.

My hand covered my mouth, silencing the sob that escaped me, tears poured out my eyes.

I beat Cassian and Azriel to him first, wrapping my arms around his neck so tightly. I held on for life, afraid this was a dream and the second I let go he would be gone. But I could feel him, smell him. He's here, home.

His arms stay wrapped around me as I placed my hands on his face, looking him over.

"Are you hurt?" I didn't dare ask if he was okay. How could he ever be okay from what ever torture she put him through?

"I'm alright," he replied. No signs of injury or bruises. But he was so very pale. Years away from sunlight would do that to you.

"I can't believe you are here." I wiped the tears from his cheeks, he did the same to me.

I wrapped my arms around him once more, kissing the top of his head a few times.

I didn't want to let him go but I know Azriel and Cassian would want their time with him.

The second I stepped from his embrace Cassian replaced me, literally picking Rhys off the floor and spinning him around.

"If you do not put me down I cannot promise that I will not puke on you," Rhys's laugh sent warmth through my body. I never thought I'd hear that again.

It didn't feel real. The days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months and the fact that Rhys was here still felt like a dream.

Amarantha was dead. Feyre saved us all, Rhys's mate. Rhys's mate... He has a mate. Who's marrying someone else. He showed us her. Showed us all she did. His face lit up telling us the story about her killing the wyrm.

It's been 3 months and I am savoring every last bit of it.

***

"You're different, sister." Rhys stared at me from across the room. He sat at his desk as I lounged in the chair in his bedroom. We did this often. This was where we always had our deep talks or hashed things out if we were upset. He would do work at his desk and I would occupy my time in the chair by reading or writing. 

"I'm happy. You're finally home." I looked up from the hat I was knitting, another thing I picked up in the 50 years he was gone. 

The smile faded off his face as he looked down at his hands. "Mor told me..."

"Whatever she told you, is in the past. Everything is good, now you're home. I'm good, I promise." Though I looked away from him I could feel the guilt in him from across the room. "Enough with the sadness, please."

"Fine, you don't want to talk about it. I'll respect that. Is there anything you do want to talk about?" His voice was hinting. There's no way he knows. We haven't.... well not since he got back. That was my decision. 

"Like what?" I didn't dare look up at him.

"Hey, you guys down for Rita's tonight?" Gods his timing was the worse. Of course Cassian had to come in and interrupt now.

Rhys and I made eye contact. He had a stupid smirk on his face. He knew... How did he know?

"Cass, please join us. We were actually just about to have a chat." Rhys pointed to his bed for Cassian to take a seat. 

Cassian went to take a seat, completely oblivious to the situation. "No, leave." He froze in his spot, looking at Rhys and me confused.

"Cassian, take a seat. As your High Lord, I order you." I could smack that stupid smug smile off his face.

"You can't do that." I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest. Pulling this High Lord card... I should smack him up side the head.

"Can and just did, sit."

Cassian took and seat and glanced between at Rhysand and I, who were having a stare off. 

"Cassian..." Rhys began, now looking at him. Cassian was trying to play it cool but I noticed the sweat beginning to form on his forehead. My heart was racing a hundred miles an hour, no doubt my brother could hear it too. "Are you sleeping with my sister?"

"Oh my gods, really Rhys?" I shot up from my seat. I felt the lie on my tongue, "Cassian and I are not-"

"We're together, yes. We have been for a while now. We take care of each other, watch out for one another. You can be mad at me, beat the shit out of me but I don't give a fuck." Cassian stood back up, no longer looking at Rhys but now me. "400 years I have loved her. 35 years I have been utterly, hopelessly in love with her."

Silence all around. I was shocked he admitted that right away. I mean we were caught, it was gonna be hard to lie to him. Cassian was standing up for us and here I was gawking like a complete idiot.

"Cassian and I are mates," I admitted to my brother nervously, but proudly. "I am madly in love with him. We wish to be mated and married but only with your permission."

That smirk had faded from my brothers face the minute Cassian spoke. His face was blank of emotion and he was silent for a while.

"This is not what I was expecting." He spoke. He crossed his arms over his chest. He looked mad but he was silent again for a while. "Fine. You have my blessing. But I'm still kicking your ass for hitting on my sister." He stood up a punched Cassian in the shoulder and then came and wrapped his arms around me which automatically relaxed me.

He placed his hands on either sides of my face, forcing me to stare into his eyes. The eyes we shared from our father. 

Are you sure? He spoke to me in my mind. My shields were down for him the second he wrapped his arms around me.

I nodded and replied to only him, I've never experienced this type of happiness before.

His face softened as a single tear rolled down my face, and he wiped it away. He was always the one to wipe away my tears. He placed a kiss on my forehead and pulled away.

"Just don't show it around me," he shivered and I rolled my eyes.

"Rhys I'd like to request some time off work," Cassian said with a smirk, looking me up and down.

"I hate this already. Get out of my face." He waved us off.

Cassian held his hand out to me which I gladly took as we ran out of Rhys's room. The second we were out of earshot, to spare Rhys, Cassian's hands and lips were all over me.

"I'm never waiting that long ever again. It was pure torture not to kiss you, to hold you, to touch you," Cassian growled in my ear. 

"I know, I'm sorry." I brought his lips back to mine. "Never again."

"Are we doing this?" He whispered, out of breath.

"Meet me at the cabin in an hour." I stepped out of reach from him, a big smile on my face.

"An hour?" He groaned. 

"One hour and then... you'll have me for eternity." I stepped forward and kissed his lips once more, in a slow and achingly long kiss. "I love you. One hour." Then I winnowed away. 

A/N cute little ending :) hope you guys liked it!

Masterlist

[starstruckmoony]

call it what you want.

masterlist

pairing - remus lupin x fem!reader

summary - part two of the social media concoction i came up with. it gets pretty tooth-rottingly fluffy in some parts but this wouldn't be a fic of mine if it weren't for the tooth-rooting fluff.

trope/tags - band/celeb!au, instagram/social media!au, modern!au, fluff, terrible humour

word count - 993

warnings - language

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

yourusername added to their story

rjlupin

❤ liked by mmmckinnon, vance_emm, xeno_lovegood and 1,930,392 others

rjlupin never felt more appreciated

tagged yourusername

29,067 comments

yourusername did you like it?

rjlupin it was so good i almost vomited

starmanblack i'm still mad bc we didn't make the furry one 😐

rjlupin you took part in this? starmanblack IT'S Y/N'S FAULT

pete__ why does it look like it was written with ummmm 👀👀

yourusername what if it was? 😳 bartyyy WHOSE yourusername fym whose? it's just white icing 🤨

lily_evans kids these days

yourusername weren't you the one who suggested to write "deez nuts" on it? prongsyboy you just got exposed for having bad humour lily_evans we're breaking up

user3835292 LMFAOO

user7382380 this is what i call poetry

yourusername

❤ liked by pandorasbox, bartyyy, prongsyboy and 1,999,738 others

yourusername the cutest

22,044 comments

rjlupin i miss you two

yourusername awwee we miss you too

lily_evans CUTEST BOY EVER

prongsyboy what about me? lily_evans you're of your own sort

r.a.black cats are superior

yourusername is that why the only posts of mine you ever interact with are the ones of my cats? r.a.black correct

user709990 WHERE'S TAYLOR?

yourusername she was napping in the kitchen 😭😭 user709990 HSHDJAHDJQNSNQNDNWB

user020994 everybody's favourite cat

user372838 REMUS' COMMENT??????

user139299 IS THAT REMUS' SWEATER?

user300011 THE SWEATER HELLO??????

yourusername

❤ liked by lily_evans, ev.rosier, marymacdonald and 1,999,738 others

yourusername can't believe i spent the whole day with this idiot

tagged rjlupin

22,044 comments

starmanblack i would literally rather die

rjlupin love you too sirius

casmeadowes write us some music please 🙏🙏 i'm craving for a new album

mmmckinnon soon soon soon

maraudersofficial wow and you rejected my offer to go watch puss in boots 🙄 so rude

yourusername sorry james but remus was being a baby and i didn't want him to cry rjlupin i'm gonna sue you for slander

user372838 you two have been spending lots of time together lately 🤨

user020994 HEIQJAJ WHEN IS IT MY TURN TO BE HAPPY

user709990 i'm sleeping on the highway tonight

user139299 wake me up when they start dating bc i can't put up with this no longer

user82111 NAH BUT THEY'RE BEING OBVIOUS

rjlupin

❤ liked by yourusername, r.a.black, lily_evans and 2,188,033 others

rjlupin i think y/n loves her cats more than me

tagged yourusername

23,901 likes

yourusername suck it up

rjlupin where's the empathy you were on about? yourusername i left it at home

r.a.black cats>people

yourusername exactly reggie

marymacdonald i love you equally if that helps

rjlupin thank you mary

user738881 OFC SHE DOES IT'S CATS

user272771 i can love you more than my cat

user323276 but cats remus

user001231 CAN SOMEONE BE THE Y/N TO MY REMUS I WANT THIS FRIENDSHIP SO BAD

user734444 bro u mad delusional if u think this is friendship 💀 user001231 are you volunteering?

yourusername

❤ liked by pete__, prongsyboy, starmanblack and 2,022,704 others

yourusername moonlight out may 15 🤍

37,898 comments

rjlupin when can i preorder?

yourusername very soon my love

prongsyboy feeling excited

starmanblack something tells me it's gonna be your best one to date

yourusername egomaniac

user738277 OH MY HOD IT'S HAPOENING

user229994 HOLY FCJING SHIT THERES JO WAYQUDBQHDHQHDNQJDBBW

user737470 DID SHE JUST CALL REMUS "MY LOVE"?????

user829384 THE NAME??? MOONLIGHT? REMUS? MOONY? IS THIS PR? IT BETTER NOT BE PR

user300111 I'M SOBBING SHDJAJXNSBS

user383838 TAKE MY MONEY

user001213 PLS TELL ME THERE'S A COLLAB ALL 4 MARAUDERS LIKED THE PHOTO

user030390 STFU LET'S NOT CLOWN AGAIN

celeb_gossip

❤ liked by yourusername, rjlupin and 56,086 others

celeb_gossip rumour has it that rjlupin and yourusername have been in a happy relationship since summer '21. the two young stars have been spotted together once again! they must really enjoy spending time together, as they've been captured on several occasions since their friendship has become public and their interactions don't exactly seem "platonic", if you get what we mean 😉 despite of these obvious receipts, many are skeptical and think the relationship is purely just another pr stunt, especially since yourusername just announced her new album that is very likely to involve a collaboration with maraudersofficial 🤔 what do you guys think? 👀 let us know in the comments 😘

7,770 comments

user556464 i think you should leave them tf alone <3

user182828 tea pages are so weird like get a life bro

user262626 I KNEW IT

user677747 omgg i hope it's true i've been shipping these two for so long

user555668 y'all ever heard of privacy? 🤨

user075222 WHAT.

user333933 you can't even tell who it is 😭

user086443 GUYS THEY LIKED THE POST SJOQHYIQHSJ

user285551 WHAT TGE HELL

user124000 LMFAO NOT THEM BOTH LIKING IT

rjlupin

❤ liked by vance_emm, starmanblack, casmeadowes and 2,798,929 others

rjlupin it was in fact never pr

tagged yourusername

42,990 comments

yourusername can't believe someone would even think that

rjlupin maybe we weren't lovey dovey enough

yourusername we should step up our game

rjlupin wanna kiss in the rain?

yourusername you don't even have to ask

mmmckinnon i knew HEHEHEHEHE

lily_evans AWWWWW

bartyyy about time

pandorasbox CUTIES

starmanblack not the tea page being right

user003021 WAIT A DAMN MINUTE

user285554 IT WASN'T PR IT WASN'T PR AHSHAHSHAHSNABS

user222399 HOW LONG HAVE YOU TWO BEEN PLAYING WITH US 😭😭

user356456 MY PARENTS DJQJDJQJSQ

user422222 OH NY JEUSUSUSHDQUXHHQS

user532111 FIQODI1USH IS THIS FOR REAL

user106626 IM LIETRALU CRUING

yourusername

❤ liked by lily_evans, xeno_lovegood, ev.rosier and 2,782,53 others

yourusername i love my silly little boyfriend

tagged rjlupin

39,843 comments

rjlupin i love you too

yourusername it will unfortunately not pass rjlupin *fortunately

marymacdonald YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE EHEHEH

mmmckinnon i knew about them long before all of you TAKE THAT

r.a.black isn't he taller than you lolol

starmanblack REG SHUT UP LET THEM BE CUTE

vance_emm so happy for you two ❤

user002931 IM SHITTING TEARS

user362678 ok now marry him

user777771 MY PRAYERS HAVE WORKED AT LAST

user322256 i feel like world peace has been restored

user988211 whatever you do, don't break up

user300102 SOULMATES

rjlupin added to their story

tagging moots again :D

@littlemissscarlettwitch @innerloverpainter @goodoldfashionedluvergirl @withastrangerheart @forourmoons @forsiriussake @sw34terw34ther @nyxxxxxxxx @laluna0 @incorrectwolfstar

[sakusafilm]

in which kiyoomi sakusa is inlove with you.

fem!reader, fluff, angst, established relationship, mentions of cheating, suggestive (?), not good with tags im new here im so sawrry 😩, just pain (did not proofread this btw)

part 2

© sakusafilm. do not repost.

sakusa is inlove with you.

no one knows how and why it happened. he just woke up one day, and somehow, his grade conscious classmate looked and felt different. your eyes are sparkling, your lips made his stupid heart race, your voice isn't so annoying anymore. he doesn't care if you take his coffee, but will put atsumu to hell if he ever does that. he doesn't care if you play with his curls, but will look at people with disgust if they do that to him.

god, he is inlove with you.

so when he asked you out on a date when the both of you turned 3rd year, you couldn't reject it. because maybe you felt the same, you love him too. you love his introvert ass who hated attention but still turned out to be japan's number one ace at such a young age, initially getting all the attention around itachiyama and the whole prefecture. you love taking his coffee away from him just because you're too lazy to get yours from itachiyama's bending machine that is literally just outside your classroom. you love his curls, they're cute and makes him look prettier. you love his paralleled moles in his forehead, kissing it when he falls asleep in your lap.

from then, the relationship that you two had was stable. it was mature, understanding, all-knowing. full of trust. his fangirls hated you, but you couldn't care less because you were so sure that kiyoomi sakusa only ever loved you. he never missed a day in assuring you.

“kiyoomi, can we take a selfie?” a regular watcher of his games approached after the match. you know the girl, you've seen her too many times. you're even sure that even your boyfriend knows her already. she always asks for a picture after the game, like today. especially today. because itachiyama just won their match and will finally had the chance to claim the championship in the interhigh again after falling short last seasons.

sakusa eyes you, waiting for a response. you almost laughed before nodding at him. he didn't really have to do that. you really don't mind. but, you think its his way of giving respect for to you.

they took a selfie again and bid their thank yous after. kiyoomi immediately pulled himself out of the crowd to finally go to you, pulling you into a tight hug. he's fucking sweaty, but still smells like mint and fruit. you couldn't pinpoint what fruit. you just know that this perfume came from jo malone. his personal favorite.

“congrats, baby.” you whispered, pressing a kiss on his cheeks.

omi chuckled, placing a kiss on your forehead, “thank you, and thank you for watching. how was the admission exam?”

“i still don't know. results will be out in a month but i'm pretty confident. i reviewed a lot.” you answered. you came to the game after finishing a qualifying exam to tokyo university. if sakusa wants to build a career in volleyball, your dream was to build a career in medicine. two completely different paths, but you couldn't imagine going through it without him.

he nodded, “i'm sure you'll be accepted. it's you.”

“i hope so, omi.”

life was surely unpredictable... and cruel. that year, itachiyama failed to bring home the championship once again. kiyoomi wouldn't take it to heart for a long time, you know that. but with the results of the admission exam being released on the same day and figuring out that you did not get in to your dream university— that hurts him more.

seeing you sob quietly in your dorm as he hugs you tight. it hurts more for him.

sakusa knows the security he has with volleyball, that even if he failed today, that loss won't define his whole career after training so hard for years. as long as he did his best, he won't have any regrets. your situation was different. tokyo university is your childhood dream. you prepared your whole life for this. pulled all-nighters, drank tons of caffeine for examinations, wrote your reviewers until your hands calouses appears, tried to get all the extracurricular activities that could give you extra merits, and still... you failed.

kiyoomi doesn't know what to say. god, he's just equally heartbroken for you. he hates seeing you like this.

“do you want something to eat?” he finally gathered the courage to speak after you calmed down for a bit, “you haven't eaten your dinner, baby. tell me what you want, i'll go for a drive and come back immediately.”

“i am not hungry, kiyoomi.” you told him.

“even if you are not, it's bad to skip dinner without a proper diet. i'll get you something light and come back, is that okay?” he asked, yet tightens his hug around you, “i love you so much. you are amazing, and hardworking and i know that these words won't be able to comfort you right now. but i hope you know that i believe in you. i still believe in you. your dreams will still be possible,”

“it hurts so much...” you started tearing up again, “i worked so hard for it...”

“i know. i know, baby,” sakusa whispered, “i love you...”

“we won't be going to the same uni anymore, omi.” you told him. kiyoomi sakusa is being recruited to tokyo university's mens volleyball team. it would be perfect to attend the same school with him again. but this time, it would be impossible.

“that's nothing.” he answers, “nothing will change.”

with kiyoomi sakusa, everything felt easier. even if you feel horrible today, you know that you will feel better tomorrow with him around. he helps you in every single thing. breakfast, ironing, gym— which is his favorite thing to do back then, and even tying your shoelaces.

you were together at every stage of your lives. prom, graduation, graduation ball, his acceptance in tokyo university because of his outstanding performance in both academics and volleyball, your acceptance in osaka university. his mvp award at the japan national collegiate volleyball championship, his recruitment in msby black jackals.

“congrats, omi,” you chuckled, hugging him tight, “it's not a surprise but i am so proud of you.”

“you always say that it's not a surprise whenever i win something,” he chuckled.

“because it's not!” you said, “that's just japan's number one ace for you... doing his thing...” you cupped his cheeks, “i can't wait to watch you at the olympics. you'll be there sooner than you expected, i just know.”

kiyoomi held your hand a planted a soft kiss on your knuckles, bringing butterflies in your stomach as he whispers, “i'll marry you.”

silence embraced the two of you. you didn't know how to respond to that. you're unsure if that's just a spur of the moment statement or he actually meant it. sakusa stares back at your eyes, “i'll marry you, once you're ready.”

“you will?” you pulled youself together and smiled at him.

he nodded, “just watch, i will really marry you.”

“you can wait? let's say... for eight more years?” you asked. it was a joke, but it's not impossible considering the amount of time that you have to dedicate to become a doctor.

“i can wait for a hundred years and i won't change my mind, baby.” kiyoomi answered and smiled, “eight years is a piece of fucking cake. i do not care, as long as i will marry you after all of this.”

you believe him. because that's kiyoomi sakusa.

he never once failed you. always keeping his word, always running to you. even after a match, if he knows that you're on a graveyard shift for your internship, he will visit you just to give you food and coat. in which some of your colleagues giggled over. it's rare to see msby black jackals' most promising rookie.

you yawned, “thank you for coming today. i know you're tired from the game.”

“not anymore,” he chuckled, pulling you into a tight hug, “i hope you're taking care of yourself. you should sleep and eat properly, you big baby.”

“you too.” you chuckled, “and don't take atsumu seriously all the damn time, that's why he's always making fun of you,”

kiyoomi made a face, “wanna take you home...”

“i'm sorry, i have to finish my shift.” you hugged him tighter. you miss him too, so much, that it's killing you. the both of you have been very busy with you doing your internship and omi consistently training for his matches. you miss him so much. you want to go home with him too. you want to kiss him for the whole night and make love. but you have to prioritize your internship first.

“no need to apologize, i understand, baby.” he whispered.

being with omi is like sailing in a calm sea. there's no reason to be afraid because you know that whatever happens, you'll see each other home. at the end of the day, you'll take a peaceful sleep beside him, with his arms around you and making you feel safe. you'll welcome another cozy and lazy morning with him, brushing your teeth as a morning routine and showering butterfly kisses to each other.

kiyoomi tugs your bottom lip using his, chuckling at that before showering kisses on your neck. this is just another weekend where the both of you doesn't have anything to do and when he's bored, he does the most unbelievable things. like putting hickeys on your neck.

“kiyoomi!” you laughed, “i have work tomorrow...”

“stop talking about work.” he said, “kiss me.”

you reached for his nape, pulling him close and chuckling with him as your lips collided with his once again. kissing sakusa is like hearing fireworks. it's been years since your first kiss, but the effect it had on you is still the same. when he starts caressing your waist, igniting the flame even more, you know you'd end up under his mercy once again.

he loves hearing you call his name desparately, begging him to give you what you want. it is the only moment where you're reversed because kiyoomi knows that beyond all of this, he's always the one who will answer all of your whims. sometimes, he thinks that he's more head over heels for you and that's okay. he loves being head over heels for you. he loves being inlove with you.

every summer, you and kiyoomi would go to your favorite beach, spending a day or two beside the quiet shore. taking each other's pictures using your film camera. after that, you would take the film rolls and have it processed, putting it in a memory box you kept through the years.

“we have to buy a new box, kiyoomi,” you said, taking a look at your old photographs with him, “i remember this!”

“when was that?” sakusa asked, “oh! your fangirl phase!”

“suck it up, i was never your fangirl.” you told him and laughed, “everyone would go gaga over you in itachiyama but i am not one of them. i never understood the hype...”

he made a face towards you, “you're lucky.”

“you're luckier, i literally had a crush on inarizaki's captain back then and i still ended up with your lucky ass...” you chuckled, “let's get a new box next weekend.”

his eyebrows furrowed, “who the fuck?”

you burst out laughing at his reaction.

kiyoomi sakusa easily gets jealous. something you will never understand because you know that he knows that you will only ever love him. still, when you seem so close to his teammates, like miya atsumu, he will start feeling something hateful in his stomach.

one time, you visited kiyoomi in his training with the jackals and brought food for the whole team. they have a match with adlers next week, with hinata shoyo playing his game for the first time. you know hinata from high school, he made such an impression in his games but he's very different from your boyfriend who doesn't seem to approachable at first glance.

miya atsumu, on the other hand, ate the food you brought immediately, giving comments as if he's a professional food guru and bokuto came mocking him. it's easy to be friends with omi's teammates.

“omi-omi's not in a good mood!” until atsumu pointed that out again. you looked over to your boyfriend who has this annoyed look on his face, trying to make the volley ball hit the floor harder than what he usually does, when it hits the floor and it made such a loud thud, atsumu gasps, “calm the fuck down, sakusa! you're nasty!”

atsumu leans forward to your ear, “he's jealous.”

“right.” you chuckled and sighed, watching kiyoomi.

he ignored you all throughout, doesn't even spare you a glance once you reach home and went straight to bed after cleaning up. lying down, you tried to hug his waist but he pushed your hands away, “omi, i don't even know why you're so worked up.”

“ask miya, maybe he'd know since you're best friends with him.” he uttered, yawning.

“you're jealous of atsumu? come on, be serious!” you said, laughing, “atsumu? really?”

“shut up.” he firmly said, “i'm going to sleep.”

“so we are not gonna talk about this and go to sleep like this? okay,” you scoffed, “i visited you, not anyone else. i am trying to be friends with them because they are your friends too, omi. i'm sorry.”

you lied down, turning your back away from him as well. the shut up was a little harsh. you couldn't help but tear up a little because of the frustration. you know that sakusa can be quite a handful with his choice of words and you understand that it's a bit of a struggle for him to communicate but it's still hurts. he's not always like this but when he is, you know that he's seriously mad.

your tears quietly fell through your cheeks to your pillow. you hate fighting with kiyoomi. you hate enduring a cold night when it could've been warm with him beside you. you hate nights like this, and kiyoomi hates it just as much. so, he turns over and slowly hugged you.

“i'm sorry, that was mean.” he whispered, “god, i'm so petty... i'm so sorry, baby...”

you faced him, his lips parted when he saw a stain of tears beside your eyes. he immediately pulled you into a tight hug, “i'm sorry. i should've been more thankful that you took the time to visit us when—”

“no, no,” you immediately stopped him, “your feelings are valid too, baby.”

he sighed, “but it wasn't valid to be that rude. i'm sorry,”

kiyoomi is prideful. everyone knows that. he has a reason for that. but, when it comes to you, he will always fold and eventually give in.

the love you had for each other isn't perfect. in fact, it's the complete opposite. it's flawed, so flawed that the both of you endured so many things. the stagnant days, the worst days. days when you want to walk away, days when he wants to be alone. your love is so flawed and that's okay, because a perfect relationship is nonexistent. a perfect relationship is fictional.

your love is flawed, but you kept choosing each other everyday.

“i failed. again.”

“baby, it's okay. you can always try again. let's not get tired. you can still—”

“you don't understand, sakusa.” kiyoomi's ears rang as you call him again by his last name, he stared at your empty eyes, swollen from crying the whole day. he didn't know. fuck, he didn't know. he was busy with training and their coach took their phones away.

“baby, i know. but—”

“you do not understand because you never felt like a failure.” you said, “because you are good at everything you do. because your dreams are not dreams anymore, they are already your reality. you don't understand.”

“what do you mean, then?” he asks, “that i did not work hard for this? nothing was handed to me in a silver platter. i went to tokyo university because i worked hard for it. i was able to achieve shit because i worked hard for it! and i am not saying that you did not work hard for this just because you failed but please stop invalidating my hard work!”

tears started streaming down your face, “don't put words in my mouth.”

“i am tired of this,” he remarked.

“me too.” you answered back, catching his eyes.

but what happens when you stop choosing each other everyday? what happens if love isn't enough anymore? what happens if it gets too tiring? what happens it kiyoomi sakusa isn't in love with you anymore?

“what happened to us?” you whispered under your breath, in the silence of the apartment and his guilty eyes, kiyoomi shook his head, unable to answer the question. you looked at him. the curly haired boy who used to love you so much felt like a stranger.

it has been three months. three months of trying to make things work out for the sake of invested time and memories. three months of trying to feel his warmth, three months of trying to run after him, three months of trying to know him again. but each second and millisecond of those three months just felt like he's further drifting away.

“there's someone else, right?” you asked.

he shuts his eyes and the silence answered you. oh my fucking god, it hurts. you don't even know how much it hurts, but it hurts, nonetheless. it hurts so much that you felt it in your veins, in your bones. it hurts so much because you already knew— this is over. and he's just waiting for you to walk away so he doesn't have to.

you stood up, “i'll... be going.”

“where? baby...” fuck you. your hands are shaking as you look at him again in disbelief. sakusa stands up, looking at you again, “i can leave instead—”

“no, this is your apartment. i'll leave.” you firmly said. silence embraced the two of you again and you wished for this to end already. it's too much, too much. you turned your back and immediately took the things you could for the meantime. sakusa waits in the sala.

your sobs became more clear when you saw the memory box below the bed. all of this... just to end it so horribly. all of this... just for it to be nothing. all of this... just for him to kiss another woman just because you're in a slump. all of this... just for him to fell out of love.

and there's nothing you can do.

was it your fault? was it his fault? was it anyone's fault? was it because of the things you said after failing the licensure examination? you were unsure. because you're sure as hell that no matter what the fuck is his reason, you do not deserve this bullshit.

maybe you make things complicated. maybe it was just a simple equation after all.

because maybe, sakusa kiyoomi just really fell out of love.

“i'm sorry,” he whispered once you went out of the room, preparing to really leave this apartment where you built your dreams together, “i'm really really sorry.”

you looked at him, “what went wrong, omi?”

he shuts his eyes tightly, before looking at yours again, “i don't love you anymore.”

[jazeswhbhaven]

Beel, Are You Srs Brah? WHB Event React Part 1 *Spoiler Warning*

So here we are at our third event since the start of the game!!! Here's some quick things I noticed right off the bat 1. It's LONGER? Instead of stopping at SP15 it's more like SP26, which I thought was a good call considering our Avisos bbys had 3 fucking places to search and there's no way to squish that in such a short amount. 2. The enemies are more challenging??? I think my wording may be off here for this, but more angel enemies were popping up that you normally wouldn't see until chapter 3 or 4. I h a t e the specific ones that scream at you from a distance...if you know, you know which ones...and yeah a bunch of those bitches were popping up so I was like AYO >:( 3. Tons of l o r e. We actually got to see some background lore for two characters in this, and it still leaves me wanting more because honestly, because Andre is from Niflheim though he praises Beel as to be the one to stop the war... For this event I gave a 10/10. I loved learning about the freak nasty devils of Avisos (i mean this is in a good way), and what really goes down after dark. (adult swim, all kids outta the pool! *i get i'm old, bye*) Plus the dynamic of our three bois???? Omfg I couldn't trust them with barely anything if they can't even bother to feed themselves. But I did notice something.... Why the fuck Beel opening tabs and not paying? He'd have to come see me, because baby I ain't made out of money, Mammon is. ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ANYWAYS I'm talking too much, let's go, but not before you all grab your snick snacks <3 (this may very well be a three-parter) ♨(⋆‿⋆)♨

So we enter in the grand office of Beelzebub, swanky stuff. And the story starts off with Bael literally being buried in an organized stack of paperwork...(poor bby) He even didn't bother to have the guard devil tell him that Beel decided to not reach out...like at all. .-. And he just brushes it off because he's used to it. Bael is really out here handling the entire country by himself for the most part. He was so tired he nearly ripped his horn off (we now are aware that the crown on his head is a uniquely shaped horn, imagine how that thing grows out of his skull like that? w i l d).

So the guard devil reassures him that the subjects of Avisos do respect all of his hard work, but right now Bael just cares that Beel is being a shitty best friend by causing him so much trouble. Tickets, tabs, just stacks upons stacks of things Beel owes money for (again why is he traveling around broke asf, and having his friend deal with the consequences back at home T^T) So he calls our bbygirl, Amon...and well he shows up with Stolas AND Naberius all of their tummies growling and Bael is like "??? Do you not eat?"

So basically what happened is it took the two of them to wake up Amon so it killed all of their calorie intake for the day. Also, another big eater, Stolas (Eligos also being another big eater) was complaining about his third snack of the day. So it makes me think he eats on a specific schedule everyday. But here we also see he's like "Let's just kill Amon he's annoying."

Like damn Stolas okay T^T And poor Naberius is like "My energy was spent trying to stop Stolas from killing him... Dysfunctional bunch aren't they? Lol

NOW BAEL's face here....he looks so done rn. Amon sleeping off his starvation just so he can wait for Beel to return and eat with him *quiet sobbing* But he also is like "Your fake Majesty" as you know he's aware that Bael isn't really Beel but it's still funny he calls him that. Naberius tries to correct Amon, but they just go into a spat about what to call Bael. Stolas even calls both of them stupid for not just using the normal title (again they are a trip and a half their dynamic makes me want to see them interact animated wise) Then Amon, our no.1 Beel simp is like "Majesty Beel is the only Majesty for me" (cutie) Bael is done with them all and what's worse they can't leave because they're too hungry and their energy is spent. (FEED THE BOIS). Stolas out here complaining about tea time...sir you can't even move... So from here the story starts going on about how Avisos is. A rough area where you can basically just do whatever the fuck you want and it sounds like something out of a GTA game if you think about it. Also there tends to be ALOT of accidents. The line "Avisos routine was a battlefield even before the angels appeared" just reads to me like they really there just fucking shit up 24/7. Honestly, do the angels even have to bother with Avisos?? Cause it sounds like they rarely touch that area. But even a place as lawless as Avisos, what binds them together-

My...guilty pleasure. My one-night stand. My fuck buddy. The devil that always has the Plan B prescription ready.

ANYWAYS Beel is that order, you know even when he's out there just fucking roaming around his country still respects as if he's there. Bael is just here being the temporary face, and it's funny because they mentioned how he wanted to kick his ass (understandably so because goddamn) Also Amon is so me...because he was asking Bael if he could take a nap before the mission when his ass literally slept for months. But Bael gives everyone the mission: Find Beel and drag him back here. And Amon brings up his crown asking when Beel returns would he be able to remove it and Stolas is like wtf you idiot-

But with how Bael replies to him confuses me a little because he's just like "Oh you think I'm just gonna do that, I'm throwing off these sunglasses too!" So now I'm like...is your horn removable? Like...can you take it off and put it on, or are you just agreeing to agree? ;.; don't mutilate yourself Bael. *also small tender moment where Amon and Bael are excited to speak to each other like friends again when Beel returns * Now after they're dismissed it seems to me that Stolas is really fucking excited that Bael would be stepping down, and even offers to put him out of his misery (what's up with Stolas being a little gremlin it's funny)

So our Avisos bois are on the hunt, but they need a plan right? The papers are basically receipts and tickets that Beel has racked up during his travels (like goddamn Beel where's your cash?) What gets me is that Naberius mentions that most of the places are so old it wouldn't be beneficial to even check. And this has me thinking...how fucking long has this king been MIA? So our Avisos bois are on the hunt, but they need a plan right? The papers are basically receipts and tickets that Beel has racked up during his travels (like goddamn Beel where's your cash?) What gets me is that Naberius mentions that most of the places are so old it wouldn't be beneficial to even check. And this has me thinking...how fucking long has this king been MIA? So they keep talking and it's been decided that traveling in threes might take too long so splitting up may work better, that is until Stolas and Nabe stare at Amon like yeah nah he can't be trusted Poor Amon. Like he really just seems like he stays out of trouble for the most part, but maybe it's just due to his personality and how he does whatever is why his comrades question him so much.

Stolas is Amon's #1 hater. He's literally just hating on Amon because he just wants to lol. Here is when we found out that Stolas can shapeshift. Fun stuff. Not that I'm surprised since OG demon Stolas is an owl (no srs look it up). While going without Amon seemed like a good idea for them due to their mistrust...Nabe did bring up that Amon is devoted to Beel so badly (yes a fanboy in every word) that he would point out clues, track things easier etc. Amon's their hunting hound.

Bael is so pretty <3 But yes we get more lore about Avisos. At night time it's apparently not the best country to be walking about in the heavy city areas. Though from the background it looks really pretty D: (that's how they'll get me) Nabe then says during their mission he will observe Amon closely, also admitting to himself (and us) that he always though Amon was pretty soft of a devil. That's very judgmental but okay lol

So the pub they're gonna go see first is called Dance of the Bumblebee (cute name) and Amon is like IT FAMOUS FOR BEING NASTY. (this had me cracking up because yes, thank you Amon for telling us this) And by reading through this again I realized that he meant "nasty" as in not really a place devils wanted to hang out at too often? And Stolas is like calling him out how how he knows this info when he's always asleep. Amon apparently has awareness even when he's sleep, so this pisses off Stolas even more to realize that while they were trying to wake him up he was listening to them try xD

To be fair though, just because one can hear you doesn't mean you're fully awake. *shrug* They keep talking about this pub and how it makes weird alcohol with extra additives in it and how Beel would be up for visiting there just for that reason. And I'm the same as Stolas WHAT IF THERE IS SOMETHING LIKE POISON IN IT? And even though Amon pointed out other stores in Avisos do it, Stolas says it's really an image issue to the other countries if they suddenly have deadly alcohol lmao

So outta nowhere Stolas turns himself into a crow. And I'm cryin' look at his little crown and cape/outfit! He'd peck me because I'd call him cute all the time. His point of turning into this was so Nabe and Amon can follow him because it is dark, so certain landmarks may be difficult to see.

We start off in what looks like a downtown area, and it's described as being really loud and noisy. The devils are literally just out here doing whatever, someone was even singing out loud, cussing each other out, the works. LMAO It even sounds like people were smoking (probably different types of things lets be honest...) and other devils were making out, PDA, and even though they won't say in game.... there was probs public sex happening too Like pit stop, have any of you come across those wild fucking vids of ppl just straight up fucking on the sidewalk and someone is filming and there seems to be no one else on the streets? it's just weird to me lmao

So there's a devil with good eyes (whatever that's supposed to mean) that says there's one place where there's something fishy going on. And fishy is right because it's fucking quiet.

So the Dance of the Bumblebee seems like really swank place. A great place to find some sugar devils~ /j though watch me be exactly right that you can waltz in there and come back out with a devil that will pamper you...

It's fully of customers, and looks nice, but it's quiet and no one is really making a move??? Well...guess who decided to show up?

Dreeeeeee <3

So they're talking about how everyone is nervous because this tall ass devil with wings a halo and a nice suit is just chillin' in the pub and they can see the horns so they know he's not an angel...it's just...

they all assume he's some kind of assassin

So they were explaining how the jazz music stopped and do did everyone smoking and I'm just laughing because of that meme

skskskskkskskkskskskks xD

But yeah like the devils weren't concerned about the music anymore they literally were trying to figure out what Dre wanted and if he was the famous 'Angel Hunter' based on his appearance.

More rumors (which are true about him) are that he plucks the wings and other parts off angels and sticks them to himself to provoke them. His eyes were damaged by an angel and the scar on his neck shows where his head was once severed. Even so, they're calling him savage looking. (i mean he does look a bit rough around the edges, you would too if you were on a mission)

GIRL YES SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS Dre is my kind of devil. I wonder if he likes brown tequila or the clear kind... Could he drink me under the table? Yeah...like two drinks in and I'm giggling and being a klutz.

So as someone tries to buy him that drink, the owner pushes the bartender out of the way and starts making small talk with Dre. However he calls him out quick, asking to see the real owner. And now the fake owner is sweating more than he was before.

Dre pulls out his sycthe on him (sexy asf move) and then it goes to black. We then see that this fake owner was actually a fucking angel in disguise and Dre starts hacking off his ears. The angel was bitching and crying about it, asking why he didn't bother to ask him to confirm he was the fake owner and Dre knew the entire time that it wasn't the real owner and that the angels are here following our Avisos bois around. Thankfully tho, it seems they don't know why.

Dre is a fucking beast. Because like he gives 0 fucks here. And it appears that Dre can isolate the area to where it's only him and the imposter owner where no one else can see or hear. This is some powerful stuff and some more lore behind how powerful each of the 72 can be.

That fucking unhinged grin.

And yeah of course the angel is shitting his pants at this moment. Dre even was saying that each time he lied he would rip his body piece by piece and he only has 6 chances to waste his time and if whatever of him is leftover is able to return to heaven he will do that. But... who knows what he'll leave behind. bloodthirsty. stands on business. focused. Dre for the win everyone.

(not to mention the first part of the angel he aimed for was his dick lmao)

While Dre is basically having some fun with his victim, it pans back to our bois. This lets me know this probably happened some time before they got there.

And Stolas is back to his regular looking self saying that they should go in and get some clues. Amon brings up how he looks and Stolas gets upset about it. Though in the game I was concerned with how they described his looks being 'boyish' I figure this is the literal sense of young looking but he's of age/adult. As he has said in the Raphael card prologue as well when Amon teased him about his looks there too.

See? He's just not gonna let him win this one ever xD These two, I swear So Amon is just walking into the pub without caring and he realizes that it's abnormally chilly. Even the doorknob is. (probably Dre's doing from that alt. area thing he did) But the way it said the other stores were sweltering hot I'm just like crying inside because I hate the heat and I hate sweating. I'd have to keep a bottle of water around me traveling in Avisos. Amon is feeling a bit uneasy, but he has to do the mission. The others follow him in and the guard is putting up a front asking if they were customers.

There's a comparison to Gehenna in saying that Satan and his nobles knew basically everyone and that their approach isn't so frigid. The guard questioning the three active nobles of Avisos makes it seem like ppl don't care if you're important or not.

The guard demands that each of them show their proof. And at first I'm like what proof???

So Nabe shows his ear, Amon his tongue, and Stolas his 'pretty pink' nipples. It turns out that these areas all have piercings. Not only are they pierced, the jewelry has a green hue to it when a flashlight is shown on it.

So, it is confirmed, that our headcanons that Beel knows how to give out piercings is true! He pierces his citizens when they turn of age and he feels that they belong there truly. Anddd I guess that's out 1st stopping point! Part 1 and done. I think there will be two more parts for sure....because this event was l o n g. Sorry if there's less screencaps than usual it's just most of this stuff is better said than with millions of screenshots lol

See you in the next post <3

[heavyhitterheaux]

Not So Happy Birthday Part 3 (NSFW 18+)

AN: pay attention to what you have before you lose it. our wild ride is finally coming to an end! here we go!

Synopsis: Jack is willing to do anything to get back in your good graces so that he can have a chance to make things right between the two of you

Pairing: Ex-Boyfriend!Jack Harlow x Ex-Girlfriend!Reader

Read Part 1 and Part 2 first

Jack Harlow Masterlist

DO NOT ENGAGE IF YOU ARE NOT 18+

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

It had been a total of three months since Jack's birthday and while he was at home in Louisville, you were at home in New York trying to keep yourself distracted. 

You were literally working almost every day and your older sister Melissa was obviously concerned, but you simply brushed her off. 

She already knew why you were doing it.

So you didn't have to focus on your feelings for Jack. 

Out of sight, out of mind. 

You figured that if you didn't think about it, you would be able to go back to how life was before you met him.

But, who were you fooling?

It honestly took everything in you not to accept the ring as Jack had held it out towards you. 

All you did was stare at it for what felt like hours, but was only mere seconds. 

"Y/N?"

"Jack, I can’t." You croaked out while trying to do your best not to sob in front of him.

The look of disappointment that flashed across his face almost made you want to accept it.

Almost.

Thinking back towards that moment, you honestly wondered if you had made the right decision. 

Even though you and Jack weren't together anymore, you had grown a lot closer to his mother, Maggie and she wanted you to have lunch with her and she was treating you. You just so happened to have an event in Louisville this weekend with Melissa so it worked out perfectly. 

You knew Jack was at home, so you were obviously bound to run into him which you were dreading.

Every time you had gone to see Maggie, Urban, Ace, Shloob, Quiiso, or 2fo you had miraculously dodged him, but you had a feeling that your luck was going to run out soon. 

You had a feeling that Ace had something to do with it, but he never admitted it. 

There you were at the 21C hotel in downtown Louisville applying the finishing touches to your make-up when you heard your phone go off. Melissa had gone off earlier to meet with a client leaving you by yourself to hopefully not run into him. 

Your heart jumped out of your chest when you saw that it was Jack. 

Jack- I heard you were in Louisville 👀

SHIT

You- Yes, for an event and to see your mom

Jack- So you can go out with my mom and not me? 😧

You- Get a hold of yourself. You thought I was cheating on you with Ace and now you’re jealous of your mom? Come on now Jackman 🙄

Jack- I just miss you, but you already knew that 👉🏻👈🏻

You- How did you know I was here anyway?

Jack- Um, I just heard a few people mention you, that's all. Sooo, how long are you here for?

You- Long enough to see your mom, Clay and PG and then I'm going back home

Jack- I'm in PG, so that means I'm included right? 🤔

You- Bye, Jackman

Jack- You didn't give me an answer tho 

Maggie was treating you to one of her favorite restaurants in the city and it just so happened that it wasn’t far from the hotel which you were thankful for. In the back of your mind, it wouldn’t surprise you if Jack had convinced Maggie to bring him with her even though it was supposed to be just the two of you. 

You did miss him, however, you still can’t shake from your mind what he did and how much he hurt you.

And Druski included.

You hadn’t talked to him either even though he slid in your DM’s multiple times trying to apologize and tried to do so at Jack and Urban’s birthday party, but you were too overwhelmed after Jack had pulled you to the side to talk to you so you told him that you didn’t want to hear it and that he knows you better than that.

You were currently munching on mozzarella sticks and you could feel Maggie eyeing you. You realized that it was only a matter of time before she found out about you and Jack not being together and had a feeling that it was going to be sooner rather than later. I mean you would think that because Jack was taking a break that he would spend some time with his so-called girlfriend, but that wasn't the case.

“What’s going on between you and my oldest child? I don’t mean to pry, but I can tell something’s wrong. Especially this morning when he asked about you. I didn’t say anything to him, but I was like "isn't that your girlfriend so shouldn’t you know the answer to that?”

And that’s when you started to cry. You couldn’t hold it in any longer.

This was the first time you had cried over him

In two days

You were honestly surprised that it took this long

And here you thought you were getting over him, but let’s be honest. Who were you kidding?

“Oh, no. I didn’t mean to upset you. What did he do?” Maggie exclaimed while handing you a tissue so that you could wipe your face.

“We haven’t been together since the beginning of March.”

“But….”

“At the party, that was all for show. Jack took it upon himself to accuse me of cheating on him with Ace because of pictures that Druski took and showed him. But we all know that he had been helping me plan the entire party for him. He didn’t even ask me about it. I had gone out to pick up a necklace that I had gotten made for him and came back to him packing my suitcases and handing me a plane ticket and telling me to go home. I was stuck at the airport for three days because my flight kept getting delayed and didn’t want to tell my parents or anyone what happened. I still don’t even know why I decided to show up at the party, I guess because I didn’t want all of my hard work to go to waste and I obviously do still care about him. I just…. How am I supposed to come back from that because that was him telling me that he doesn’t trust me. Druski has been trying to apologize to me ever since, but I don’t want to hear it. Oh and Jack decided that when he pulled me to the side at the party to suddenly give me a promise ring and I was like as bad as I want to take this, I can’t. He said that he had been planning on giving it to me anyway, but at that moment, it just seemed like he was trying to give it to me in order for me to forget what he did. And I just… I don’t know. And this morning, he sent me a text saying that I heard you were in Louisville and I said that I was coming to see you and he had the nerve to say oh so you can go out with my mom and not me? I’m sorry I’m rambling… I’m just still so incredibly hurt. It’s been a few months, but I don’t know if I can forgive and forget that easily.”

Maggie was sitting there quiet, taking it all in and listening to you as you told her everything.

“I just don’t get it. He has trust issues, which I know because his last girlfriend cheated on him and I would never do that because I also know how it feels to be cheated on. Why would I ever want to do that to someone else? I think deep down that I do want to forgive him, but I feel like this is always going to be in the back of my mind.”

“And your feelings are valid after everything that happened. I just can’t believe that child of mine because I definitely raised him better than that.”

“I know you did, but he’s an adult that has the ability to make his own decisions and unfortunately this was a bad decision on his part. Let me go to the bathroom and touch up my make-up, I’ll be back.” You said before getting up from the table, and Maggie immediately pulled her phone out to text her oldest child.

Maggie- Jackman Thomas

Jack- Uh oh, full government….. Yes? Am I in trouble?

Maggie- You most definitely are

Jack- What did I do?!?

Maggie- You know exactly what you did

Jack- Umm… are you at lunch with Y/N?

Maggie- Yes

Jack- And she told you what I did, didn’t she?

Maggie- I taught you better than that. You better be at the house when I get back so we can talk about this

Jack- I tried to apologize to her!

Maggie- With a ring that she felt that you were only giving to her so she could forget what you did. 

Jack- I didn’t want it to come off that way because that isn’t true

Maggie- Well it did. Like I said, we’ll talk later. 

After Jack had read the text message from his mother, he was now dreading the conversation that he was going to have with her later.

He didn’t know how much you had told her, but it seemed like from what she said, that you told her everything and he knew that he was about to be in for it.

He admits that he should have asked you and shouldn’t have reacted that way without having clear cut evidence of what was going on between you and Ace.

The two of them were talking, but just not as much as they were before. Jack was hoping that they could move past this and that he would be able to rebuild his relationship with both of you. 

It had been three months, but at least you were still talking to him so that counts for something right?

You didn’t completely shut him out, so in his mind he still had a chance to win you back. 

And he was going to make it happen no matter how long it took.

He was currently out with Urban and Clay to take his mind off of missing you when both of them noticed the switch in his demeanor.

“What’s wrong with you?” Urban asked while looking over at him confused.

“Y/N told her.”

“Told who what?”

“Told my mom what I did, obviously and now my ass is probably in for it.”

“Welp, can’t blame her. You definitely earned yourself the dumbass of the year award for that one.”

“Thank you for that, Clayborn.” Jack responded while rolling his eyes and all Clay did was smile and pat him on the back.

“Of course, any time.”

“I don’t even know where to begin to get her to forgive me.”

“Didn’t she already say no to the ring?” Urban inquired as Clay’s eyes went wide.

“WHAT RING?! YOU LEFT THAT PART OUT!”

“It was just a gift that I had gotten for her and I gave it to her at the party, which probably wasn’t the best idea, but I wanted for her to have it. My mom said that she thought that I was just trying to give it to her in order for her to forget what I did, but that wasn’t my intention at all.”

“Kinda looks that way though. The timing of it all.”

“I get it, but I was desperate and willing to do anything in order for her to forgive me and I still am. It wasn’t meant for her to forget what happened. I apologized so we could acknowledge it and hopefully move on from it.”

“Still can’t believe you listened to Druski’s dumbass. Like out of all people? That’s your most reliable source?”

“Look, I just didn’t know what to think. I couldn’t take someone that I care about cheating on me again. That’s a feeling that I never want to have. I experienced it once and don’t want to ever again.”

“He needs to help you get her back because it was both of your dumbasses fault.”

“I think he’s done enough and I need to figure out how to do that on my own. I’m the one who broke up with her and kicked her off tour.”

“Hmm, maybe Ace will help you.”

“I HIGHLY doubt that. I’m surprised he’s even talking to me.” Jack answered while shaking his head.

“Well, she’s not ignoring you so that at least counts for something, right?”

“I guess, but still.”

It was around 11 PM when Jack made his way back to his parents house in the hopes that his mother would be asleep so that he didn’t get yelled at because he already knew that it was coming. He had stayed out the entire day hoping to not have to run into her.

He quietly opened the door and was trying to make his way to his childhood bedroom when the light turned on in the living room startling him.

There Maggie was sitting on the couch waiting for him.

“Avoiding your own mother, now?”

“I-... no…. I just….”

“Yes you were. Come sit.”

Jack did as he was told and sat on the couch across from her waiting for her to start ripping him a new one.

“First, what the hell went through your mind to confront her without any evidence? And no wait, back up. Druski? Are we serious? That’s who you choose as your most reliable source?”

“He took the pictures of the two of them and sent them to me! I didn’t know what to think!” Jack exclaimed while running a hand through his curly hair. 

“And that’s why you should have asked her! Instead now both you and Druski look like dumbasses. I raised you better than that. Don’t even get me started on you packing her bags for her and the fact that she was stranded at the airport for three days because her flight kept getting delayed! And she was too scared to tell anyone!”

“I… know. I wish she would have said something to me.”

“But, at that moment, would you have even bothered to answer her? Probably not all because of what you thought she did. And she still threw you the party? I know I probably wouldn’t have.”

“I definitely don’t think I deserved to have it, but I'm thankful that she went through with it anyway.”

“I don’t even know where you would begin to fix this.”

“Did she say she still wanted to be with me?!” Jack asked her with a hopeful look on his face.

“Well, she didn’t exactly tell me no, but what she did tell me was that even if she did forgive you that you not trusting her would still be in the back of her mind. I remember telling you not to do anything stupid to lose her, but of course you had already done it. Y/N really cares about you and I can see it in the way she talks about you even if you did hurt her feelings.”

“I just hope she eventually forgives me. I want to see her happy, but I want to see her happy with me.”

“Hold up. That’s not up to you. Even if she is happy without you, you are going to accept it and move on from it because at the end of the day it was you who lost her and you who broke up with her. If she still wants to be with you, great, if she doesn’t want to be with you, fine. Either way I’m still invited to the wedding whether she gets married to you or not.”

“I-.....”

“Own up to what you did. And stop pestering her about wanting to see her. You obviously didn’t want to see her that bad because she was here earlier.”

“AND NO ONE TOLD ME?!”

“Calm yourself, Jackman. She wanted to see Clay and your dad before she left.”

“But not me, of course.”

“She did ask for you, but you were nowhere to be found and didn’t answer your phone so that’s on you. Do what you want with the information I just told you, but if she doesn’t want to talk to you anymore, you need to respect that. For now, I’m tired of looking at you because I still can’t believe my own child would act like that, and on that note, Goodnight.”

It was now Tuesday at one in the morning and you had been back for a day and a half at home in New York and your thoughts were running rampant. You hadn't been able to sleep and you suddenly heard your phone go off signaling that you had a text. The phone was on the dresser and you would have to change your position in the bed in order to get to it. 

A few minutes had passed before you finally got the strength to turn and grab it to see who it was.

And it was no one other than your ex-boyfriend. 

Jack-I know it’s late, but I need to fix this, so will you please give me a chance to do that?

You- I’m willing to hear what you have to say

Jack- Good because I’m outside your door and I have food

You- Wait, now?!

Jack- Yes now, come open the door for me pretty girl

You took the steps two at a time and you had mixed feelings about this entire thing and how eager you were to actually see him. You missed him and there was definitely no denying that. But, just like you told Maggie, this will probably forever be in the back of your mind as long as you were in a relationship with him. 

Once downstairs, you opened the door to see a sleepy-eyed Jack holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers and another bag which you couldn’t make out the contents of. Your breath immediately hitched in your throat.

“I caught a red-eye flight because I couldn’t sleep and truth be told I really haven’t been sleeping since I decided to end our relationship. I just…” You immediately cut him off.

“Just get in here before my nosey neighbor sees you.”

“I thought Ms. Wanda was moving out?”

“I did too, until I saw her all up in my business when I got back the other day.”

You moved to the side to be able to let him in and Jack made his way into the kitchen to put everything down on the island and to find a vase to put your flowers in with some water. You were silently watching him hoping that he would break the silence, but you could tell that he was just as nervous as you were.

“Thank you for actually letting me in. I was definitely debating on coming from the airport if you even wanted to see me. It was the fact that I was already in New York before those thoughts even hit me and I was praying that you did even though deep down I had a feeling that you probably didn’t. I was prepared to go right back home just in case, seeing as I brought literally no clothes with me.”

“I still have a lot of your clothes here that I never gave back to you and shoes so we’re good on that. And why in the world did you not think that I wanted to see you? Maggie had told me that you were going to be at the house so when I went I was surprised and a little hurt that you weren’t. She tried to call you and everything.”

“And I’ll be honest. I was dodging her calls because I knew she was about to rip me a new one because of what I did to you. She had sent me a text and told me  that she wanted to talk to me and I didn’t even go back home until almost midnight in the hopes of trying to avoid her, but I should have known better than that. She told me you had been there earlier and I honestly did feel some type of way about it, but I can’t blame anyone but myself.”

“I like your mom a lot. What’s in the bag?” You curiously asked and Jack simply slid it towards you.

You curiously opened it to see that it was benedictine, one of your favorite foods that originated in Louisville. You still remembered the first time that Jack ordered it and let you try some. You had been hooked ever since.

“I figured that if I was showing up around 2 in the morning that I needed to at least bring some food with me. Luckily the place that I usually get it from doesn’t close until three.”

“Thank you, I actually didn’t go and get it this past weekend, because every time I thought about getting it, it reminded me of you. I already missed you too much and I just didn’t want to end up feeling even worse. Every time that I would get this, we would share it.”

“And we’re about to share it now.”

You simply smiled as Jack turned around to get utensils for you both before sitting across from you at the island. Jack had heated it up for a few minutes and now the two of you were eating in silence.

“Um, I just want to explain my thought process and why I did what I did.” Jack quietly said and you simply nodded. 

“I’m listening.”

“You knew about my ex because I told you and you also knew how I felt about the entire thing. I still remember that night that we were at your condo when you had that rooftop party in the city after Ace had introduced us a few weeks before. I was hesitant about meeting you, but once I did, you were the only person that I wanted to be around. I remember always wanting to fly you out to wherever I was because I loved having you in my presence and all the positive energy that you always give off. When Druski showed me the pictures, I snapped. Me feeling insecure combined with what I thought was you blowing me off for Ace when you were really planning something for me just sent me over the edge. I didn’t even think twice before I made the decision and didn’t bother asking you which was stupid on my end. I know deep down that you would never do that to me, but I don’t know at that moment? And that’s the same exact thing she told me. Fucked around and had an entire baby on me. I couldn’t fathom going through being cheated on again so I figured if I hurt you first, I wouldn’t have to deal with those feelings. But I did deal with the feeling of me hurting you. The look on your face is embedded in my mind and to think I was the cause of all of that hurt you had, hurt me too. And not to mention you being at the airport for three days. I wish you would have told me, but I get why you didn’t. You probably thought that I wouldn’t answer you, which is fair. Bottom line is that I’m sorry for how I acted and I just want us to be okay again. But only if that’s what you want. I don’t want to put pressure on you or anything. Whatever you decide, I’m going to respect it.”

“I’ve been going back and forth in my head so many times and trying to think of every possible scenario on if I did forgive you or if I didn’t.”

“And the ring was not meant for you to forget what I did at all and I’m sorry if it came off that way.”

“Jack Harlow apology tour 2023.”

“And I already apologized to Ace. It’ll take some time, but I think that we’ll get back to how we were before.”

“If I say yes…”

“Yes?” Jack asked, looking up at you hopeful.

“You have to promise me that if you are unsure about something involving me that you’ll come to me first and ask before jumping to conclusions.”

“I promise. It’ll never happen again. I lost you once because of my own stupidity and I definitely don’t want for that to happen again. You mean a lot to me and not really seeing and talking to you these past few months….”

“Clean slate?” You asked while taking the last bite of your food which Jack had scooted towards you. 

“Clean slate.”

“From this point forward, we will never bring this up again. Even if we may have a disagreement, we make no mention of this.”

“I’m on board with that. But it’s still going to be in the back of my mind what I did.”

“And it will be in the back of mine too, but we’re going to heal from this. Just one huge big misunderstanding.”

Jack had gotten up from the island to put the food container in the trash and the utensils that you both used in the dishwasher before saying anything else.

You could tell that he was deep in thought and you simply looked at him curiously.

“Jack?”

"I know that this doesn't even begin to cover how sorry I am, but…" Jack started to say but you immediately got up from the island and cut him off with a kiss which he gladly returned and wrapped your arms around his neck. 

"I've missed being in your arms so much and I never want to go that long without being in them again. Like I said, we’ll get past this." You quietly said as you looked down and Jack lifted your chin with his finger so that you could look at him.

"And I'm going to make sure you don't and that we do.." 

"Just know that I would never hurt you like that. You mean entirely too much to me." You quietly said and Jack simply nodded.

“Oh, one more thing. I mean you don’t have to wear it, but I want you to have it.” Jack said as he let go of you to reach into his back pocket and pull out the ring that he wanted to give to you three months ago.

“I’ll wear it, it’s pretty.” You answered while Jack slipped it on the middle finger of your left hand.

“Now, if people look at my boyfriend, I can tell them to fuck off with showing off the ring he bought me. Oh and I see you like your necklace I bought you. My closet is still full of your gifts.” You looked up at him and you played with the KY necklace that graced his neck.

“I don’t think I deserve them to be honest.”

“Then who else am I going to give them to? And yes you do for how hard you work. I am still very proud of you.”

“Can we get to opening them later?” Jack asked and you came to the conclusion that he was probably tired.

“Sure, let’s go upstairs and get some sleep.”

“Oh, I’m not tired.”

“Your eyes are saying otherwise sir. It looks like you’re about to fall over at any moment.”

“It’s been almost four months and I can imagine that your vibrator is definitely not on the same level as me.”

—

"Relax baby and let me make you feel good. Give me some room down here.”

You did as you were told and felt instant pleasure when you felt Jack’s mouth on you making you grip the sheets underneath you while trying to hold back a moan.

“Nuh uh, none of that. I didn’t wait this long to not hear you tell me how good I’m making you feel, let it out.”

“But…”

“I don’t give a fuck about your nosey ass neighbors, let it out.”

Jack dove back in between your legs and inserted two fingers while still keeping his mouth on you and you couldn’t hold it back any longer.

“Fuck, baby. Right there.” You finally let out and he couldn’t do anything but smirk as he inserted a third finger trying to make you reach your peak as quickly as possible.

“Good girl.”

Your left hand found a way to Jack’s curls, while your right was massaging your breast in order for you to reach it quicker.

Jack knew when you were close that all he had to do was play with your nipples and you would fold each time. 

He literally made you cum several times by doing that and nothing else. 

"Shiiit… I.. "

Jack took the initiative to hold your legs tighter so that you wouldn't try to move away from him as he continued to lap at your folds and he planned on showing you how much he missed you all night as your screams continued to get louder. 

A few seconds later you were coming undone before him and instead of letting you ride out your high in peace, he continued to suck on your clit immediately making your legs shake.

When he had finally removed his mouth from you, he proceeded to place kisses all up and down your thighs before he reached up to kiss you.

"Are you ready for me?" Jack whispered in your ear as he kissed the shell of it and you immediately nodded.

"Have you been away from me that long that you forgot your manners? I need words baby. My pretty girl needs to tell me what she wants."

"I want you in me."

"Now that's better." Jack answered before slowly slipping into you and bottoming out making you both moan out in pleasure.

"Damn, you feel so good around me. But baby you need to relax. You're still tense and I can tell."

"I'm just nervous I guess."

"Nervous for what? It's just me and you know that I'm going to take care of you." Jack replied to you while reaching down to kiss your forehead. 

"I know…. Just…"

"Just focus on me and nothing else."

You didn't know why you were nervous.

Having sex with him was nothing new and you had done it plenty of times before. 

It almost felt like this was a dream and that you could wake up at any second and be right back to square one. 

And you knew for a fact that your heart couldn't take that.

Jack slowly began to move in and out of you and he could tell that you were slowly relaxing little by little.

He was always going to take his time when pleasuring you and didn't shy away from putting your needs first.

You wrapped your arms around him wanting for him to be as close as possible to you in that very moment. 

Jack then reached down to slowly massage your clit as he was also giving attention to your left breast before switching to the right and waiting for you to come undone in front of him. 

"Mmm, baby… I'm…"

"I know, babe. Me too. You going to be a good girl and cum all over my dick?"

You eagerly nodded but of course Jack stopped his movements which left you confused.

"Jackkkkk!!!"

"Good girls use their words so fix it."

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes I'm going to cum all over your dick." 

"That's what I thought." Jack answered while then continuing his movements.

Not even four thrusts later, the two of you were coming completely undone.

As you were riding out your high underneath him, Jack was placing kisses anywhere that he could reach on your body as you were scratching your nails down his back.

Jack then slid out of you making you wince and simply laid his head on your chest as you were running a hand through his curls. 

"Just wait until I get some actual sleep. We aren't leaving this bed." 

And for the next week, Jack had stuck to his word and you were convinced that your best friends and sister probably thought you were in a ditch somewhere when you were actually just getting ducked down. 

Jack had just finished making you cum for the seventh time and it wasn't even noon. You had then swung your left leg over in order to straddle him when Jack's hands immediately went to your hips to help guide you as you slowly lowered yourself down onto him. 

The two of you got into a comfortable rhythm before you heard a shriek from the doorway startlingly the two of you and Panchito proceeded to run full force towards you and jumped on both you and Jack. 

Jack immediately brought you to his chest in an attempt to shield you from Blanca and Jessica who were now eyeing the two of you.

"This is where you’ve been all week then, I thought I was gonna have to send a search party. I hope you made his ass beg for forgiveness for all the shit he was accusing you of.” Jessica said while shaking her head and Blanca motioned for Panchito to come back towards her but instead he curled up at the bottom of the bed.

"It looks like she forgave him if my eyes aren't deceiving me. Have yall even came up for air? Gotten food? Taken a nap?" Blanca asked while you were looking at them in disbelief how they were having a full blown conversation with you while Jack was still inside you.

"No. Not really, no."

"Well shit, Jack is Ace with you? I want to get dicked down too. Y/N can't be the only one having fun around here. And how have you been by the way? Miserable I presume without my best friend?"

"Are you two seriously trying to have a full blown conversation with us while my boyfriend's dick is still in me?"

"Yes, it looks that way. We already know it’s big from what you told us." Blanca said while shrugging.

“BLANCA!” You scolded her and she just smirked while Jack was trying to hold in his laugh.

"Better us than Melissa! She was going to come over herself but we volunteered to check on you. And Jack, hurt my girl again and I'll make sure you can't have kids."

"Wait. Did she say boyfriend?"

"I got it. I already know and no Blanca, Ace isn't with me ." Jack answered while you were moving on top of him trying to get as much friction between the two of you as possible. All Jack did was grip your hip tighter in an attempt to tell you to stop.

"So we're just going to skip past the boyfriend part? She said, " BOYFRIEND!" 

"Now that you two know that I'm alive, close the door and let me continue riding the shit out of my boyfriend's dick and then I want his cum eventually sliding down my throat. He made me cum seven times and I'd like to return the favor."

"Okay daycare in her throat! Get it Jack!"

"SEVEN!?! IT'S NOT EVEN NOON!"

"The two of you have three seconds to get out and I'm not responsible for what you're about to see if you don't."

"We're going! We're going!"

"BLANCA GET PANCHITO!" 

All you did was shake your head as they finally closed the door and when you looked back down at Jack, he was simply smirking.

“So, my dick is big, huh?” He asked and you threw the pillow at him that was on your left side at him while he laughed. 

“Keep it up and I won’t let you cum at all.”

You saying this wiped Jack’s smirk off his face and he held up his hands in defense. 

“That’s what I thought.”

—

You were now in the middle of the dance floor celebrating your birthday with Blanca, Jessica, and Melissa dancing beside you as Jack sat next to Urban, Druski, and Ace admiring you.

“I never thought she was about to forgive you, but I’m glad she did because your ass was fucking miserable without her.” Ace said while making googly eyes at Blanca.

“Me either, but I’m happy she did. I just knew her bodyguards were going to kill me.”

“Still can’t believe you call them her bodyguards.” Urban said while laughing.

“Because they are! They’re so protective over each other so when I caught that red eye flight from Louisville, I was praying that she was at home by herself because I know if they were there, they would have made my ass turn around and go right back home.”

“Especially Melissa. She was at your birthday party shooting daggers at me and holding the knife to cut the cake. I thought her ass was going to stab me.” Druski confessed while taking another swig of his drink.

“She still might. I put NOTHING past her older sister.”

“Wait, I just noticed something.” Urban said while eyeing your ring finger.

“What?”

“That isn’t the same ring because it looks different. Did you do something and not tell us?!” 

“It just happened this morning soooo.” Jack answered while rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“I want full credit for this love connection and I want to make a speech at the wedding reception.” Ace added while Druski was still looking at Jack in disbelief.

“Say less, I have to let her bodyguards make speeches too or I know that they’ll have my ass.”

“They grow up so fast!” Druski exclaimed while hugging Jack and congratulating him.

Just then you came over to him and promptly sat on his lap.

“Is it okay if I steal you for a minute?” You asked while reaching up to play with his beard.

“The birthday girl can do whatever she wants.”

You got up and held out your hand towards Jack and let him outside so that you could get some fresh air.

“You okay?” He asked while looking down at you and you simply nodded in response.

“Never better. Just wanted to thank you for all that you do for me. And keeping this party a secret from me and getting Ace to help you was top tier.”

“I thought I would return the favor since you did it for me. Just wanted to show you how much I loved you.”

“You literally don’t have to do all of this to show me that, it’s the simple things that you do on a daily basis that lets me know how much you do.” You said while reaching up to kiss him and he eagerly kissed you back.

“You know I’d do absolutely anything for you.”

“I know. Track 3.”

“But also track 13. Don’t be anxious, I got you.”

“Right back at you.”

“You ready to go in and tell them that we’re already married and did it at the courthouse yesterday or is that too much?”

“Hmm, too much. We can tell them tomorrow. But either way, your mom is going to kill you.”

“But will she though? She already calls you her daughter-in-law and would text me just about every day asking if I proposed yet.”

“You definitely did not tell me that!”

“Well obviously I didn’t want to tell you because that would have ruined it!”

“Just get me pregnant soon to make up for it. She’ll forgive you.”

“Shit, say less. We can get started right now.”

“Good, because I got my IUD taken out last week so…..”

“Oh, so you were planning to trap me?” Jack playfully asked you while raising an eyebrow. 

“Hmm, no. I just wanted my kid to possibly have your eyes or curly hair. Keep in mind I’m a trust fund baby so did you in fact trap me?”

“Urban told you my plan, didn't he? I’m meant to be a trophy husband.”

“No, he just told me that you loved me a whole lot.”

“And that’s never going to change. Now let’s get started on that baby.”

Liked by yourinstagramname, blancaaa, jessmichelle, yungskylark, urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, neelamthadhani, djdrama, champagnepapi, and 4,903,619 others

jackharlow: Happiest of birthdays to my baby girl. I love you so much and I'm so thankful to have you in my life. Ever since we met, I knew you were something special and I can't wait for us to spend the rest of our lives together. Always want to be able to make your dreams come true 💕

yourinstagramname: I love you so much and you always make my heart go boom. so blessed to have you in my life 💖

yungskylark: yall can thank me for this! I got the two of them together!

claybornharlow: PAUSE, SPEND THE REST OF OUR LIVES TOGETHER? DON'T THINK WE DIDN'T SEE THAT

blancaaa: jackharlow did you get her pregnant?!

jackharlow: blancaaa working on it!

jessmichelle: jackharlow I'm surprised that she isn't already from what we walked in on a while ago 👀

yourinstagramname: jessmichelle get ready to babysit

jessmichelle: yourinstagramname as long as I can give them back lmao

yourinstagramname: jackharlow oh I guess I can tell yall now then

claybornharlow: yourinstagramname TELL US WHAT?!

yourinstagramname: claybornharlow we now share the same last name Clay! hi brother-in-law!

maggieharlow: did the two of you get married and NOT TELL ME?! I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN PLANNING FOR MONTHS

jackharlow: uh oh

claybornharlow: I KNEW IT!

jessmichelle: what the hell? DID MY INVITE GET LOST?!

blancaaa: I will grab Panchito. why were we not informed?

yourinstagramname: save the date... August 6th, 2024 and it was literally a spare of the moment thing kbye

blancaaa: Y/N! GET BACK HERE!

jessmichelle: WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!

y/nharlow: jackharlow husband, lock the door so we can make a baby and hide from everyone.

jackharlow: y/nharlow say less! see yall in August

jessmichelle: not this bitch changing her username too smh

blancaaa: who the hell was the witness?! Melissa fucking show yourself because you've been quiet as hell

amomentcaptured: I was the witness and now I'm about to go back into hiding

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[writingjourney]

ziplocked love pt. 3 | dew x fem!reader

summary: you visit dew on tour and finally get to do all the things you've been so desperately missing.

content: ~8.5k words (I'm sorry, it developed a life of its own), this is a mix of light-hearted/silly and some slightly more emotional conversations, lots of smut and fluff (18+ only) (some praise, slight blood kink, rough sex, biting, p in v, dew being more subby at some point), banter, mentions of reader dealing with some anxiety, Aether being a cutie yet again

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Read on Ao3

⸻

On top of the world, or in the depths of despair.

Goethe was right – there is but a gossamer thread between the greatest happiness and the greatest pain for the one who loves.

Today you’re not shifting between extremes, but you’re both at the same time. The worst and best mood fighting for dominance. The worst because you missed the ritual you were supposed to attend because your flight got delayed. The best because in a few minutes you get to see Dew. The worst because you’re worried about how your visit will go. The best because no matter how it goes, you get to see Dew.

The venue is a labyrinth but unlike Theseus you’re not looking for the minotaur who would probably be easy to spot but your long lost boyfriend… who is most likely hidden in some sort of dressing room. Ten minutes ago you got dropped off by your taxi, someone let you in backstage after seeing your visitor’s pass, took your luggage to take it to the busses, and then just left, too busy with packing up.

And so now you’re not only late, but stranded.

You’re pretty sure you’ve passed those bathroom signs before. Twice. Just like in the abbey when you first got there, your sense of orientation is not adapting fast enough to the new, confusing surroundings. You follow a random green arrow to a white-walled hallway you’re pretty certain you haven’t seen so far, even though they all look the same. After a few steps, you vaguely make out muffled voices…

The first one you spot is Aether.

He’s already changed, carrying a small bag and eating a banana, still in human glamour. When he sees you, he drops the bag and swallows the rest of the fruit in one go, practically sprinting into you. It’s not a real bodycheck but the impact makes you stumble nonetheless. And yet Aether’s arms grip you so impossibly tight that you don’t need to worry about falling. He lifts you up and spins you around, so many times you feel dizzy when he sets you back down.

“Ew, you still smell like that little gremlin,” he mumbles into your hair, squeezing you once more. “Disgusting.”

You think it’s mean he can still smell him on you when you’ve lost his scent for over a week now. Nevertheless it makes you chuckle. “I missed you, too, Aether.”

“Hey, I did really miss you,” he says. “But I know someone who missed you so bad he was staring at his phone all day, screen time up by two-hundred percent at least. Someone who got so grumpy when we teased him about you that he almost bit Swiss’s head off and I mean that in a literal sense. He fucking hissed at him, we had to tie him up.”

You laugh, you can’t help it. It’s then that you hear a door open, rapid footsteps that you’d recognise anywhere. Aether steps aside just in time before Dew slams into you. He practically jumps on you, making you both stumble backwards. In the narrow hallway he manages to steady you against a wall, catching the impact with his side. Both arms tightly slung around his shoulders, you take in his scent, the feeling of his slender body wrapped around yours.

“I heard you and I felt you…” He lets out a growl. “Fuck, I can’t believe you’re here. Oh, fuck fuck fuck.”

You whimper, tears already pricking your eyes. He feels so good, so warm even in his human glamour. His hair tickles your nose and that feeling alone is enough to fully make you cry.

This is where you’re supposed to be.

For the first time in over a month you feel like you’re finally home.

You sob against him and he squeezes you even tighter, one hand wandering into your hair while the other one presses against the small of your back.

“Fuck, baby, don’t cry please.” When he breaks away to look at your face you can see that his eyes are glassy as well. Then he smiles brightly. “Hey, look, it’s my pretty girl.”

You let out a sound somewhere between a sob and a chuckle. Dew cradles your face, wiping the tears away. Then he rests his forehead against yours.

“I missed you so much,” you blubber out.

“I missed you too,” he says. “But damn you smell like Aether. I can’t believe he beat me to it.”

You smile. “Funny, he said the same thing about you.”

“Did he?”

“Mhm, said I still smell like you.”

“She did, it was awful,” Aether says somewhere behind you. “By the way that was very cute to watch. I sent the video to the group chat.”

Dew ignores him, buries his face in your neck and takes a long, drawn-out sniff, nose tickling your sensitive skin until you have to giggle. “Hmmm yea a little, but you smell even more like yourself which is far better. And I’m sure I’m getting Aether off of you in no time.”

“How’re you gonna do that?”

He leans in. “Oh, I have some ideas.”

“Ehhhh, get a room, please,” Aether interrupts. “Since you want privacy so much these days I won’t ask if I can join.”

Dew flips him off but pulls you into his dressing room anyway, practically slamming the door shut. You have no time to look around. He immediately pushes you up against the wall, kissing you so hard you think he’s trying to swallow you. His mouth is insistent, his tongue only waiting for your first moan so it can taste you almost violently. Your lips are going to be bruised later, but you don’t care, you try your best to kiss him back just as hard.

He breaks away only when you’re both short of suffocating, your chest burning from lack of oxygen. Dew swallows all of it, like a blaze eating itself through all the fuel it can find.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” he says between deep breaths. “Oh fuck.”

Your reply is a meek whimper. It’s like your brain has lost any control over your body.

“I want you so much I’m losing my mind.” He groans and you see his glamour slip as he loses control. “I can’t hold it in. I’m going mad.”

You pull him closer, driven by the same desperation. “Kiss me again. Don’t fucking stop.”

He wastes not a second before devouring you again, pinning you to the wall with the little weight he has but with surprising strength nonetheless. You burn up from his sudden heat spreading out to you and it feels like you’re burning with him. His knee is pushing between your legs and you settle onto it, relishing in the friction it provides.

Dew pulls your hips towards his, your back arching into him until there is not a millimetre of space left between you. With his tongue in your mouth, his thigh digging into your core and his heat basically boiling you alive you start to feel faint.

It’s too much all at once, so much pleasure and desire but so much worry and pent up anxiety, and you feel tears in your eyes again, a sniffle leaving you after a barely concealed attempt not to cry. You turn your face away to gasp for air, effectively causing him to stop dead in his tracks.

“Fuck, baby, did I hurt you?”

You snivel. “No, no.”

He sets you down, one hand carefully cradling your cheek to turn your face back to him. “More good tears?”

Nodding, you press yourself to his chest for a hug. “Sorry.”

His arms are ready for you, holding you, one hand stroking your hair in soothing circles. And maybe the break is necessary to help your lungs recover, to ease the anxiety. Dew is still hot but he’s cooling down with every second, making it easier to breathe.

“You know you can tell me,” he finally says. “We’ve been here before, on the phone, and I didn’t like it.”

“It’s just… I missed you so much,” you admit. “I’m so relieved.”

He smiles. “Me too, baby. I missed you so fucking much.”

You can’t help the Really? that spills out.

Dew immediately frowns. “What? Do you doubt that?”

Staring at his chest to avoid his gaze you shrug. “No… but I feel so pathetic because you did so much better than me. I’m such a mess without you.”

He lets you go, frowning, tilting your chin up. “You think I didn’t miss you?”

“No, I know you did, just…” You shrug, averting your gaze again to play with his shirt instead. “I mean I know you missed my body a whole lot and I know you missed the rest of me, but… I wouldn’t expect you to struggle as much. Maybe I am fragile after all.”

Dew looks offended. “Babe, no, that’s not true. I know I can come off… like… like touching you is all I think about. Aether made me do this stupid quiz and said my love language is physical touch. So it’s just how I best know to express my love for you, okay?”

You stare at him, the unexpected admission circling in your mind. “O-okay.”

“Of course I missed all of you.” He shakes his head, pulling you close again. “Silly little minx.”

You bury into him, trying to get as close as you can. He’s so incredibly warm, so comforting, his frame perfect for your shape. You fit right in, like you never left.

“Let’s go, huh? Cuddle on the bus until we’re alone?” he eventually asks. “I’ll even let you be the little spoon.”

“Can’t let you go,” you mumble against his neck. “‘m sorry. I feel really clingy right now.”

“That’s fine, I love it when you are.” He pulls you even tighter. “For all I care you don’t have to let go of me for the next five days. Or… forever, really.”

You smile against his neck. “But you’ll be on stage Sunday.”

“I’ll just carry you around like a baby monkey all day,” he says. “You’ll have to live with watching me pee though.”

“’s fine, I can ho…”

“No, you won’t hold it,” he interrupts.

“Boring.”

“Who’s boring? Dew?” Swiss’s head is peeking into the room. When he sees you’re decent, he comes inside. “I thought I’d find you fucking on the floor or something.”

“What, like we’re some kind of animals?” Dew asks in mock offence.

“Uhm, do I have to remind you of that time whe–“

“No!” you interrupt. “No, you were right to be cautious, Swiss.”

“Oh, I wasn’t trying to be cautious, I was going to ask to join in.”

“In your dreams,” Dew says, clinging to you even tighter.

Swiss scoffs. “I know you’re a selfish ass now but I thought it was worth a try. Anyway, actually I’m here to tell you we’re heading off. Better get ready or we’re leaving you behind.”

“You wouldn’t leave my girlfriend,” Dew says confidently.

“No, I’m talking specifically about you. I can take care of her, I’m sure Aether would help me.”

“Mind your fucking business, Swiss, or I swear to Satan–“

You shut him up by pulling him closer, hand pressed to his chest. “We’re ready to go, Swiss, thanks.”

Swiss gives you a saccharine smile and when he notices Dew’s narrowed eyes he blows him a kiss, then ducks out of the room just in time to avoid his wrath in the form of a flying guitar pick.

“Don’t be so mean to him.” You press a kiss to his cheek, nuzzling his skin.

“He’s the most dangerous of them all,” Dew just says. “Sexy bastard.”

“You don’t think I’d do anything with him without your consent?”

“No, no, I don’t.” He runs a hand over his face. “Sorry, I’m worked up. Fuck. This is so intense.”

You feel bad for ruining your passionate moment and leaving him all high and dry. In truth you couldn’t have fucked in here anyway, at least not if you wanted more than a stupid quickie for your reunion.

Dew sees it in your expression. “Don’t you dare apologise.”

You keep your mouth shut and he scowls in warning, so you swallow the words on your tongue. His arms wrap around you for one more hug, nose nuzzling your neck, and you can feel he’s still not fully recovered.

“I’ll make it up to you,” you whisper. “Promise.”

“You have nothing to make up for, silly,” he says, kissing your nose. “Come on, gotta pack the rest of my things and then we’ve got all night.”

You help him gather his belongings, motivated by that promise, and five minutes later he grabs your hand and pulls you towards the bus. Everyone else is already waiting inside, so upon entering you’re pulled into a plethora of hugs, so so many wet kisses pressed to your face.

“So good to see you,” Cirrus says, hugging you closest of them all.

The ghoulettes adopted you very early on in the relationship with Dew, just like Aether who immediately pulls you to his side, not planning to let go of you anytime soon with his heavy arm draped around your shoulders.

“So, how’s everything at home?” he asks.

“Oh, it’s–“

“Come on, you can pester my girlfriend tomorrow, gimme some time with her,” Dew complains, big pouty scowl on his face and arms crossed in front of him.

“She’s our girlfriend, too!” Aether complains.

“Absolutely,” Cirrus agrees. “We haven’t seen her in over a month either! Stop being obsessed.”

You grin, all the love making you dizzy.

“Ah, i miei figli, we are all happy that she is here, but he is right,” Papa says. “Give them some time, eh?”

You break free from Aether’s strong grasp, following Dew to the back of the bus where the bunk beds are. He throws his mask somewhere, then pulls you into his booth and closes the curtain. Before you even manage to get comfortable in the tiny space, you’re wrapped up tightly in his arms.

“You’re mine,” he mumbles. “Mine, mine, mine.”

You smile against his neck. “I am.”

His knee pushes between your legs and you wrap one of them around him, getting impossibly close. You missed being cuddled up to your own personal furnace, his comfortable warmth immediately easing your anxiety from earlier. When you slide one of your hands under his shirt, feeling his hot skin on your fingertips, you let out a content sigh. Meanwhile Dew starts stroking your back, breathing a similar sigh into your hair.

“I love you so much,” he says. “You have no fucking idea.”

“I love you, too.”

He hums but the sound turns into a low purr, pressing gentle kisses to your temple, your forehead, your cheeks. Before long he’s kissing your mouth and then the kisses stop being gentle altogether. He’s half on top of you, his mouth pushing yours open, sharp teeth nibbling at whatever he can reach – your tongue, your bottom lip, your jaw. When he bites your lip once more, harder this time, you taste blood. You moan into his mouth, moan again when he involuntarily bucks his hips, his hard cock pressing against your centre.

“I want you so much,” he says, breaking away to bury his face in your neck instead. “Fuck, it’s torture. I’m so turned on right now, I feel like I’m on fire.”

You can’t help but giggle. “I know. You’re practically cooking me right now.”

He kisses your neck, lips lingering just below your ear. “And how’s that feel?”

It’s hard to ignore the tingles, the throbbing between your legs. “It’s toasty. I think I’ll be medium rare in a second.”

His teeth dig into your skin then, barely avoiding to break it. “You know that’s how I like my flesh.”

“Thought you always went raw?”

He chuckles, pulling you even closer. “Fuck, I missed you so much, baby.”

“I missed you, too.”

“If we’re not there in the next ten minutes I’m fucking you here and they’re going to have to live with it. They can’t blame me, they know it’s dangerous to make me wait for what I want.”

“If we fuck in here they can drive us to the hospital instead because you’d probably snap me in half. This space is far too small.”

“Hey, I can be careful and gentle!”

You hide a smirk. “No, I don’t think you could be right now.”

He sighs in defeat, pressing his face back to your neck. “I hate that you’re right.”

You stay like that, stroking his soft hair, both of you whimpering and groaning whenever you rub against each other. It’s like a miracle when the bus finally comes to a stop. You somehow stumble outside after squeezing past everyone else, random ghoul body parts pressing into you. The others loudly complain but quickly shut up when Dew gives them death stare after death stare. Swiss gives you an “I’m gonna knock on your door later” but Dew is so fast, you don’t have to worry about any bloody consequences.

“I already banished Aether to Rain’s room,” he explains, not bothering to go any slower even as you reach the hotel lobby and he has to focus on his human glamour again. “They always make me share these days because they know I’m not bringing anyone back.”

“And Aether?”

“He just loves to be roommates. But he can be Rain’s roommate for a few nights.”

You get into an elevator and he doesn’t waste a second before he kisses you, his mask bumping against your forehead. The ride is far too short anyway and a bing, followed by the doors sliding open, rips you out of the kiss. Dew is still impatient, practically fuming, so you’re dragged to the right room, watch him struggle with the keycard, mumbling a string of curses before he finally gets it open. He immediately throws the mask away again, his human glamour fading in an instant.

You’re on him before he can even react, pressing yourself against him as you wrap your arms around his shoulders. Dew immediately kisses you, hands digging into your ass so hard that you can feel his claws even through the fabric of your pants. He is frantic and bites your already broken lip more than once, moaning at the metallic taste of your blood. It makes you kiss him even harder.

You start fumbling with his jeans, but as you finally open the button he pushes your hands away, doing much faster work at getting them down. So impatient. He’s not even wearing briefs and for a second that surprises you so much you let out a moan when your hand connects with his bare erection.

“Thought they’d only be in the way,” Dew just says, pulling his shirt over his head.

You want to take him in, this body that you missed so much, but he’s already kissing you again, obscuring your view. It’s your turn to undress then but as you try to open your pants, he again pushes your hands away to do it much faster himself. You’re naked in practically thirty seconds.

“You’re so impatient,” you mumble. “Am I too slow for you?”

“Yes.”

You scoff, raking your hand through his hair when he starts kissing your neck. He nibbles on your skin, then gives a harsh bite. A sudden wave of lust makes your pussy throb.

“I waited long enough, ceremonials can fuck off. I just want to be inside of you and fuck you senseless.”

He’s not exaggerating. Two seconds later he’s too impatient to keep messing with your neck and pushes you onto the clean white hotel bed. You bounce, watching in awe as he crawls over you like a wild animal hunting down his prey. Yet again your struck by his preternatural beauty, the edges of his face framed by his silky hair, the white horns, flawless grey skin.

“You’re so pretty,” you say, reaching out to cradle his cheek.

Dew smirks, eyes glinting as he leans into your touch. “So are you, baby. The prettiest.”

The tender moment is gone as fast as it came. He leans down to kiss you again, tongue pushing into your mouth without any warning. He’s forceful, impatient, all passion and violent lust. Teeth dig into your lips, hands grope you painfully hard, his tail twists around your leg in a vice grip. You haven’t seen this animalistic side on him in a while and it reminds you of the early days of your relationship. He’s always passionate, always feral, even when he’s occasionally more submissive, but the rougher the sex the longer you need to recover. So he’s been trying to tame it.

There is nothing tame about him now.

“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted you as much as I do right now.” He exhales sharply, nose nuzzling your neck before his eyes meet yours again. “Fuck, I feel like I’m in heat. I can’t… please, tell me this is okay. Let me be rough with you.”

“Be as rough as you want. Please, I need you so much.”

He growls and you can see how any rational thought leaves him, his pupils blown wide with unbridled lust. He bends down and you think he’s about to go for your neck again, but he stops right by your ear instead, taking a heavy breath.

“What’s the safe word, baby?” he asks, nibbling on your earlobe. “Tell me.”

“Dew–”

“I know, but we need to be safe.”

“Red velvet.”

“Good girl.” He kisses your pulse, sucks just the tiniest bit. “Now you have to do exactly what I tell you. I’m gonna wreck you, baby, and you’ll take it like a good girl without complaints, yeah?”

“I will. Promise.”

“Good. Hands and knees, right now.”

He smacks your ass and you scramble to turn around, so fast you bump against him as you do so. Dew, ever helpful, pulls your hips up as soon as you manage. You can feel his erection against your ass when he leans into you, hot and already leaking. His sharp nails trail over your back, gripping your hips tightly. But he doesn’t go all in yet. Instead you can feel his mouth on your lower back. He bites gently while his hands kneed the flesh on your hips. You automatically sigh at his touch. Now that you have it again, you cannot imagine how you managed to go without it for so long. It’s pure bliss, the single best thing in the world, to be so close to him.

His mouth wanders down to your butt, nibbling at the soft skin there and trailing kisses all over. Suddenly, he bites you forcefully, a sharp pain spreading out in you as his fangs sink in. You yelp in surprise, a sound that turns into a moan when he licks the tender skin afterwards. Every touch sends sparks to your core and your walls clench around nothing.

“Hm, almost forgot how much you like this,” he mumbles, moving a few centimetres before he bites you again, soothing the spot with his lips this time. “I’m sorry I’m so impatient, baby.”

“’s okay, me too.”

“I’m just gonna fuck you now,” he says and you know he’s promising to be loving later, when this is out of the way. You have four whole days ahead of you for all kinds of love-making. Now all you want is to be released from this torture, to finally have him inside of you.

And there is no resistance when he slowly starts pushing in. “Fuck, you’re so wet, babe.”

“Mhm, more.”

“Wanna take it all at once, huh? My pretty baby, so hungry for my cock.” He rams into you, one hard thrust, bottoming out immediately. “Fucking have it.”

You cry out but there is only a dull pain when he hits your cervix, nothing else. The sensation quickly turns into pleasure when he starts moving, one slow thrust, testing the waters. His patience is still gone, though. As soon as he sees you’re okay he just hammers into you, roughly pulling your hips into his. You lose balance, falling face-down onto the mattress. Your hands reach out, uselessly grabbing the sheets for support. The change of angle makes you see stars. Suddenly he’s hitting you right every single time, so hard you’re a moaning, mewling mess within seconds. He gives your butt another smack, pain woven into pleasure, and you clench around him.

“Hmmm, fuck… Dew…” you whine. “Fuck, I’m gonna…”

„No no no no,“ he interrupts. „Don’t you dare come yet. Don’t you fucking dare.“

You whimper, unable to form any words of protest, and he pulls out just before you can stumble over the edge.

„‘m sorry…“ He inhales sharply, grabs your hips to flip you around. „Fuck, I need to see your face when you come. I didn’t think you’d be so fast.“

With that he pushes back in, same rough pace as before. This time, the angle isn’t as good but you’re not complaining because now you get to see him, too. And it is a sight, his lean body, muscles tense and moving, his chiseled features contorted in pleasure, forked tongue poking out in concentration. He leans down, pressing a sloppy kiss to your bruised lips. His hand finds your neck, just holding, not pressing in, a sharp nail scraping against your chin. You moan at the sensation, reaching out to grab his hair, pull the slightest bit.

“Hm, you like that, huh? You like being my little toy?”

You nod, drunk on lust, unable to think properly.

“Words,” he says. “F-fucking say it.”

“I love it,” you say. “So much.”

“I know you do, you’d… you’d let me do whatever the fuck I want.” He starts moving even harder, thrusting so deep you start seeing stars. “You take it so well, baby, so fucking well. I want to hear you fucking screaming for me.”

You’re getting very close again, his rhythm almost violent, right at the precipice between agony and lust. You can already feel yourself leaning over the edge, the first tremors of pleasure in your limbs, but then…

There is a suspicious creaking sound and you think the bed just sank by a few centimetres.  Dew falters for a moment but you grab his chin and force him to look at you.

„Don’t you fucking stop,“ you say breathlessly. “Don’t you dare fucking stop.”

You know he loves it when you’re commanding, so that’s all he needs to go on. He’s hammering into you until you’re finally falling, screaming his name as your walls convulse around him. It’s strangled, high-pitched, and you wrap your legs around his hips to keep from kicking out. His tail wraps around one of your thighs, almost pinching off the blood flow as he continues to thrust, the bed giving more painful moans. They barely register as you plummet into overstimulated whimpers, your whole body shaking.

When Dew comes it’s with a strangled moan, your name following soon after in a breathless whisper. He’s still propped up on one elbow but you can feel his body pressing you down. It’s an odd angle, something’s definitely not quite right.

“Fuck,” Dew says, still breathing hard.

“Mhm.”

He slowly rolls off of you, then moves to stand. „Uhm…“

„I think you broke it…“ you say, struggling to regain your composure as you sit up and take in the massive dent right in the middle of the bed.

„I broke it?“ he asks.

„You were the one pounding.“

„Your ass is right where the dent is, seems suspicious to me.“

You sigh, not sure if you should laugh or cry. When you try to get up the bed gives another tortured wail. Dew helps you stand and the sight is not any better from up there. What’s even worse than the dent is the wet stain right in the middle of it. You’re still dripping, but at least onto your thighs now.

„So, what do we do?“ you ask, fishing for some tissues to wipe yourself clean.

„Wait, let me get you a proper cloth.“

Before he can do that though there is a commotion right in front of the door to your hotel room. You recognise the voices of a bunch of ghouls and ghoulettes, talking all over each other so you can’t make out any words.

„Did someone die?“ Swiss finally asks loud and clear.

„No!“ Dew yells. „All good! Leave us the fuck alone!“

„Open the door?“

„Fuck no!“

The door opens away.

„Aether still had a card… OH!“

You cover your body with the sheets and go digging for some clothes.

„Don’t get dressed on my account,“ Swiss says with a smirk.

You think Dew is going to kill him right in this instance. But you’re in no mind to prevent that from happening. Instead you decide the bathroom is the safest option, so you go change in there, leaving the other ghouls to mediate.

In your hurry you only grab your panties and the shirt you wore for your flight. Your luggage is still in the bus, so you don’t have a choice. It has to be enough, you can shower and change again later when you get your clothes. You have no idea when Dew gets dressed but once you come back out he’s wearing boxers and a Metallica shirt, looking unharmed. It’s pretty obvious what you have just been up to, his hair is sticking up at odd angles and his cheeks are flushed. You can’t tell if it’s anger or the last remnants of lust.

Swiss, Aether, Rain, Cirrus and Cumulus are all standing in the middle of the room, their voices blending together into a cacophony of teasing, rage and laughter. Dew has his arms crossed, pouting, visibly struggling not to murder anyone.

You’re pretty sure you’re beet red by now.

„What’s going on here, eh?“

You freeze when you recognise Papa’s voice. He’s dressed in a red track suit and looks infinitely tired when he enters your room, probably woken up by the endless arguing of the ghouls.

„They broke the bed,“ Aether says before any of you can find a different excuse.

„They–“ Papa sighs. „Why am I not surprised?“

„We uh… need to go to reception to ask for a different room,“ Dew says. „Or… you.“

Papa’s eyes widen. „Me? I should go?“

„Well, you’re the authority figure here.“ Aether says.

„What do I tell them?“ he asks, fidgeting uncomfortably.

„I’m pretty sure they will know exactly why it’s broken,“ Swiss says, then loses his shit yet again, wheezing with laughter.

The other ghouls join in and you crawl into Dew’s arms, hiding your crimson face in the crook of his neck. This day seems to be truly cursed.

✦✧✦

Turns out being cursed is not all that bad.

Twenty minutes later, you and Dew get a cute new room, the last vacant one they have – the honeymoon suit. Because the hotel staff can’t see the ghouls in their earthly forms and the risk is too high, Papa is walking you. You got your suitcase in the meantime, the wheels soundless on the thick carpet as you trail after him. Face still flushed, you feel awful that he has to do this for you, especially after a ritual when he’s so exhausted.

„Alright, more careful now, huh? Be happy you only broke the bed and not your amore.“

He looks at Dew as he says this and your cheeks get even hotter. Dew only smirks and with a defeated sigh, papa retreats, closing the door on the way out. You hear him mutter something in Italian but when you look around the room, you stop caring.

It’s so beautiful.

The bed is heart-shaped, so much bigger than the other one, and the whole room is a soft shade of pink. Walls, carpet, furniture. All of it.

“That’s a lot of pink.”

“Whatever,” you say, jumping onto the bed. “It’s so nice!”

“Oh, hey, careful! Not that your cute ass breaks another bed.”

Your nostrils are tickled by the smell of roses, but there are non in the room. You find two chocolates on the pillows and hold one out for him. Dew smiles at your antics but joins you on the bed nevertheless, bringing his mouth to your hand and taking the treat right from your fingers. His hand closes around yours and he licks the molten chocolate off your skin.

“Dew…”

He starts sucking. Hard. “What? Just enjoying my treat.”

You can’t help but moan, especially when he looks up, your eyes locking. His tongue languidly swirls around your digits and he moans, a sound that immediately gets you wet. He’s so insatiable, the embers never fully cooling down, one spark enough to light a whole fire within seconds.

“Baby…” You reach out, pushing a strand of his hair behind his ears. “You look so hot right now, with my fingers in your mouth.”

Dew moans again, louder, practically vibrating. Slowly, he crawls up to you without breaking eye contact and lays half on top of you. He’s already getting hard again and even though you still feel tender, you could…

Your eyes drift past him and catch a glimpse of the open bathroom. You jump, effectively pushing Dew off of you. “Hey!” he complains. “What the–”

„Dew, we have a bathtub!” You shake his shoulder in excitement. “A bathtub! You have to take a bath with me!“

„So we can break that thing next?“

„No, I mean an innocent bath. Washing, you know. Getting clean. Relaxing“

„Sounds boring. We were about to do something way better.“

You pout. „We don’t have a bathtub at home. The other room didn’t have one. We only have it for one night. And it looks like it makes bubbles!“

He takes in your face, the big eyes, the pout. His lip twitches. “Fine.”

Fifteen minutes later the tub is full, lavender scent from a diffuser and fog clouding the bathroom. Dew is the first one inside the tub, despite his complaints, and plays around with the bubble settings. You’re fixing your hair up, trying to avoid getting it wet.

“Come on,” Dew whines. “I want you with me. It was your idea.”

“Please stop complaining. You’re going to feel so relaxed after this.”

When you walk over, you can feel his eyes on your naked body, taking you in, and the confidence boost is instant. You slowly dip your toes into the water but flinch back before your foot  fully covered.

„What?“ Dew asks.

Your toes immediately turn bright red, throbbing in pain. „That’s too hot.“

„It’s not, just get in.“

„No.“

„Baby, it’s only as hot as it came out of the faucet. I didn’t make it any hotter.“

„It hurts. Gonna burn my pussy and you can’t want that.“

Dew rolls his eyes but you can tell he’s mostly amused. He moves his arms in the water for a bit, probably absorbing some of its heat.

„Okay, should be better now.“ He reaches out and takes your hand, slowly guiding you back over. „Come to me, baby.“

You slowly step inside the tub, water still wonderfully hot but not scorching. Your muscles, tense your travels and the bed-breaking, finally relax. Dew pulls your back to his chest and you lean against him, his body just as hot as the water. You can already feel a thin layer of sweat forming on your forehead. But compared to all the cold and lonely nights you spent at the abbey, all the times you’ve been longing for his heat, this is exactly what you need tonight. Once you’re settled, Dew presses one of the buttons and you feel the gentlest bubbles caressing your skin.

You turn sideways slightly so you can kiss his neck, somewhere close to his windpipe. You feel him swallow. “It’s so nice, Dew. Don’t you think?”

“Mhm.”

His hands find your stomach, squishing slightly, before he fully wraps his arms around you.

Then he stops moving.

What you don’t know is that Dew is thinking about your earlier conversation. He knows that humans greatly value declarations of love. He’s still unfamiliar with the feeling. He knows lust, desire, greed – and he’s very good at showing those.

Love, however?

That’s new. A good kind of new, but still hard to understand. At least the kind of love that he shares with you. Of course he loves his fellow ghouls. And he loves performing, he loves playing the guitar. But loving you feels different, much more profound, almost daunting, which makes expressing it so fucking hard.

You’re really good at showing him, however, with all your gentle touches, softly whispered words, all the small things you do for him throughout the day like making sure his shirts are clean or bringing him snacks during practice. He knows you love the physical demonstrations of his affection, but he also knows making you come five times a night is not enough. While he got the „I love you“s down by now, the gentle touches too, there are still some things he doesn’t understand. Human things. Like… buying flowers, long speeches about his feelings or going to fancy restaurants for dinner on your anniversary. Or… taking baths together.

But at the same time you’ve never expressed wishes for any of those things. Well, except the last.

„I’ve never seen you so contemplative,“ you whisper as to avoid startling him. He’s been staring at the ceiling for a few minutes now.

Dew sighs. „Sorry, kinda stuck in my head. I thought you were napping against me.“

You run your hand through the water, spreading your fingers out as you do. „What are you thinking about?“

„You.“

„Me?“

„Yeah, I… what you said. That you thought I didn’t miss you.“

„I never said it like that,“ you argue, sitting up. „Don’t worry about it, I know I misjudged. I was just anxious, you know I get like that sometimes when I’m stuck in my head.“

He lets out another thought-heavy breath. „You feel loved by me, right?“

„Yeah, of course I do.“ You furrow your brow. „Dew, I never meant to give you the feeling that you’re doing anything wrong. Because you’re not.“

His expression is unreadable. „But is it enough?“

Never in your life would you have thought Dew would be one to doubt himself. His confidence, the sass, the brazenness… it makes you forget that this is all new for him, being in a committed relationship. Having a human mate, no less.

„It’s absolutely enough.“ You turn around, moving to straddle him, supported by your hands on his warm chest. „You give me so much that I never knew I needed, Dew.“

„Like what?“

„Like… unconditional love, the type of intense, all-consuming love that makes every previous experience seem like a waste of time. And you accept me so fully, you make me laugh, you reassure me all the time even when my doubts don’t make sense. Hell, you show me how easy loving can be, that it doesn’t have to be painful.“

„But you were crying. Actually you cried twice because of me now.“

„Dew, sweetheart, I cried way more often because of you. Only you didn’t see it.“

His eyes widen. „What?“

„Well, not because of you. Or at least not because you hurt me. But because being without you sucks, because I can’t always switch off my overthinking. It doesn’t matter, though, because I would choose you over and over again even if I could only see you one day a year.“

„Sure?“

„Yes, absolutely.“

„You would be so unhappy,“ he says. „I couldn’t do that to you.“

„Well, we’re lucky it’s not like that.“

His hands find your hips, running up your sides. „But you were unhappy this past month?“

You lean down to rest your face against his neck and he embraces you, wet fingertips dancing over your back. „No. I was just missing you. But you can only miss what you truly love and to experience that is a blessing in and of itself.“

He hums and presses a soft kiss to your hair. „It’s just… I missed you so much, I want you to know that.“

You lift your head back up to look at him. „I do know that.“

„There were days I didn’t feel like going out with the others at all, doing all these cool things, because I wanted to experience them with you. Or they complained about me being on the phone all the time but really all I wanted was to text you instead of talking to them. When they teased me about it I wanted to rip their heads off because they just wouldn’t understand how awful it felt. How much it hurt to think of you being so far away.“

You lean down to kiss him. „It’s okay, baby, you don’t have to prove to me that you missed me.“

He sighs, a long drawn-out sound, like he’s still not satisfied. „Maybe I’m bad at showing things like that.“

You shake your head. “No, you–“

“Stop trying to make excuses for me. You need to tell me when I do something wrong.”

“Dew.”

“What?”

“Nothing you do is wrong.” You grab his head, thumbs pressing into his cheeks. “You’re looking for an unnecessary fight.”

“Am I?”

“Yea. Because you want to be mean to yourself. I won’t let you.”

His eyes narrow, but you just smile and squish his face until he pouts.

“I’m Dew and I can’t accept that someone truly loves me,” you say, imitating his voice and pushing your thumbs together to get his lips to move. “So I find reasons why the person should hate me instead.”

He scowls at you, then suddenly turns his head to snap at your thumb. You yelp in surprise, then you have to giggle.

“I don’t sound like that,” he says, letting go of your finger. “And I can accept it.”

You run your finger over his bottom lip, then lean in for a gentle kiss. He returns it, softly moving his mouth against yours. Tangling your fingers in his hair, you deepen the kiss, taste him. He sighs into it, hands moving down to your waist again.

“I love you,” you mumble against his lips.

“I love you, too,” he says. “‘m so happy you’re here.”

“Me too.”

You rest your face back against his neck, hugging his body close to yours while the bubbles surround you, a soothing white noise. It’s relaxing, the lavender scent, the moving water, Dew’s warm skin against yours.

“I wish we had a bathtub at home,” you mumble.

„We can just stay in here forever, I can keep the water warm.”

“I’ll turn into a fish if we do that.” You sigh, thinking, kissing his neck one more time. “Dew, my baby, my sweet little menace, would you still lo–“

“Yes, don’t even finish that question. I’d love you in any shape, silly.”

You lift your head up, squinting at him. “What’s that tone?”

His eyes widen. “What?”

“That tone.” You fully sit up, moving your hips forward. His cock is right at you centre now and you rock your hips for good measure. “Sounds… bratty.”

“Ohhh… ugh. No?”

“I know you think you’ve got me wrapped around your little finger. But you’re just as tightly wrapped around mine.”

You can tell he’s excited, eyes so laser-focused on yours, mouth slightly parted. “What if I am? What would you do?”

“I would make sure you know that this goes both ways,” you say. “That I can turn you into a puddle just as well as you can do with me.”

Dew’s hands wander over your back, his sharp claws leaving burning trails on your skin all while a smirk is forming on his face. “Sure you can?”

“I know it, yea.” You grind your hips again, his erection rubbing between your thighs. “You doubt me? Because I think your dick doesn’t.”

Dew groans, hands shooting to your hips to keep you still. “Hm, you little minx.”

“Repeat that and I won’t let you come.”

His mouth opens. Then closes again. He’s contemplating whether you’d really do that.

You decide to stop teasing and just show him how much you mean it as plainly as possible. So you lean down and kiss him, roughly this time, pushing his lips open to taste him. His tongue meets yours but it’s gentle; he plays your game, lets you explore his mouth with nothing but a purring moan. He’s still vaguely tasting of chocolate.

“You like that?” you whisper against his lips.

“Hmmm.”

One of your hands slowly moves over his chest, trailing his collarbones, from left to right and back, until you let it dance further up to his neck. You don’t dare to squeeze, you’re not as confident and practiced as he is, but you keep your hand there to feel him swallow. The next kiss is more heated. He tries to take control but you use your other hand to grab his hair and pull him back just slightly. Dew freezes.

“No shenanigans,” you warn, taking over, kissing down his cheek, then his jaw, nibbling at his skin as you go.

“Gotta bite harder if you want to achieve your goal,” he teases.

You stop, go back to his mouth and catch his bottom lip between your teeth, pulling. He yelps, moans when you bite harder. Despite being in the water you can feel yourself getting wetter from that sound alone. When you’re satisfied, you lick over his lip, then give him a soft kiss because you just can’t leave it at that.

“That’s what you do to me all the time,” you say. “Feels good, right?”

He hums and you kiss down his neck again, sucking bruises into his ghoul skin that sadly won’t linger. It doesn’t matter, you do it anyway, and when you reach his pulse, just below his ear, you bite him again. He swallows any sounds, but Dew’s hips buck, giving him away.

You smirk. “Ah. Look at you.”

“Babe…” he whines.

“What? Now you’re done being a bitch?”

“Fuck this. Fuck me, right now. I waited a whole damn month.”

“Sorry, not taking orders from a brat.”

Shifting your hips again, you rub your pussy over his cock, repeating the movement a few times until he’s whimpering, hands running up and down your body. When you place him at your entrance, his lips part but he doesn’t say it, only growls.

“Pretty noises,” you say. “Do I get some more?”

“Fuck, babe.”

“You want it? Gotta beg.”

He tries thrusting up and into you, but you’re prepared, shifting to the side. You press him down with all your weight, hands on his flat, tense stomach, until you’re barely touching him anywhere else anymore.

“Please,” he finally whispers.

“What was that? I don’t hear shit.”

“Please, fuck me. I need you. I missed you so much.” He growls, hips jerkin in the water. “I can’t wait. Please. Stop starving me.”

You sink down on him and he groans so loudly that it echoes in the tiled room, hands squeezing your hips, gripping you like a lifeline. For a long moment, you just stay like this, taking in the mess of sensations. It feels amazing, the water only adding to the intensity.

“Thought this was an innocent bath?” he says between deep breaths.

“Shut up.”

“What?”

“Shut up’n let me do my thing.”

His pupils widen, hips jerking the tiniest bit. “Fuck, you’re so hot.”

“I know, stop babbling.”

He bites down his smirk, swallows hard. “Sorry.”

You give him a warning scowl and start moving slowly, using his shoulders as leverage. You’re scared of the water spilling over, so you keep the movements deliberate, a slow, steady rhythm. Dew tilts his head back, but keeps his eyes on your body. One hand moves up to cup one of your breasts and he squeezes. You can’t help but arch your back, forgetting that you’re supposed to be in control for a second.

“You look so pretty like this,” he says. “Bouncing on my cock with all the bubbles around you.”

You snap back. “Shut up, I swear. This is my moment.”

“It is,” he whispers. “You’re so hot.”

It’s just impossible to get him to keep his mouth shut, so you decide to stop and just revel in his compliments. You’re actually impressed by how patient he now suddenly is, because he doesn’t try to get you to move faster and he also doesn’t start moving himself.

“You’re being so good now,” you say, leaning down for a kiss. “You really want to come, huh? No edging tonight?”

“Hm, no time for that.”

“What? You busy tonight?”

He fights a smirk, but you and your already protesting bones silently agree. With the slow build-up, you’re already impatient yourself, so you rock your hips a little harder, water splashing against the rim of the tub.

“Hmm, you’re killing me,” Dew mumbles, voice strained. “I’m s-so close. ‘s too slow.”

“Oh, you wanna come?”

“Hmmm.”

“What?”

“Babe…”

“Can’t hear you.”

You stop moving and his eyes widen, hips bucking. “Please. Please let me come.”

The smirk on your face is too strong to hide and you move again, go a little harder until you feel your own orgasm approaching. Dew groans, nails digging into the flesh of your hips and then he lets out a low sob, hips stuttering into yours as you feel him release right into you. The sounds he makes push you over the edge as well, legs trembling and walls clenching around him. He whimpers in overstimulation and you feel your eyes tearing up as well.

“Fuck,” he says.

“Hm.”

“Baby…”

You look at him, his big, beautiful eyes so filled with emotions. “Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“I won’t let you go again. I don’t care.”

You sigh, hands moving to his neck. “Don’t think about it now.”

He shakes his head and pulls you close, some more water spilling over the edge of the tub. But you don’t care. You just want to hold him. And so you do, slowly coming down from your high. Your body is protesting wildly, tired and tender and overstimulated, but the water helps.

Dew hugs you almost painfully tight and by now you feel ridiculous for even thinking he struggled less than you. When you look up at him he’s still somewhere else, lost in thought. You decide that this is a conversation for later and snuggle back into him. You don’t care if your skin gets wrinkly, if you turn into a fish, all you want is to stay like this forever.

✦✧✦

Half an hour later you’re ready for bed, all snuggled up in the soft sheets and pillows of the honeymoon suite. Dew is true to his promise and lets you be the little spoon, strong arms wrapped around your midriff as his nose tickles your neck. You’re bone-tired and yet you try to stay awake for a little longer, just to feel his breath against your neck, to stroke the back of his hand with yours and thank Satan that you finally get to be with him again.

You think Dew is already asleep, but then he starts kissing your shoulder, sighing contently. The peace doesn’t last long, though. You should have known it.

There is a loud knock right before you feel like falling asleep.

”What–“

“Please?” Aether asks, voice muffled by the door. “Rain won’t cuddle.”

You smile to yourself and watch as Dew gets up to open for him.

✦ ✧ ✦ 

I feel so weird about this chapter, I think I'm kinda burnt-out from writing smut, so I am deeply sorry if this doesn't hit the right spots. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and thanks so much if you read all of this ♡

Special thanks to my Sodo anon who had the idea with the breaking bed, this goes out to you :)

Part 4

[buddhamethods]

10 BL Characters I Want Carnally

AKA I'm just a person with two keen eyes and dubious morals when it comes to enjoying media so don't take it seriously, I'm here for a good time.

Thank you @sndrys for tagging me! This was an eye opening experience putting this together. As it turns out I might have a type (ew).

1) Guy from Bake Me Please (2023)

The sole reason for me creating this list! Look, I dropped Bake Me Please almost immediately because it just wasn't for me BUT I've been lowkey watching through my dash. And let me tell you, my fingers gain consciousness and hit reblog everytime this baby's face pops up because...well...LOOK AT HIM. He is beautiful and he should get the guy (hehe get it) in the end idc.

2) Yok from Not Me (2021)

Yok is such a beloved character and for good reason! He is sexy, he is gay, he sets buildings on fire and steals cops' wallets on accident because HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT GUY HE WAS STALKING WAS A COP??? I love you Yok, never change.

3) Palm from Never Let Me Go/ OurSkyy2 (2022-23)

The anger I felt for all the injustice and mistreatment our beautiful Palm had to face in this show took literal years off my life. It's rare for me to get this passionately protective over a character and yet here we are, in the Palm Protection Squad headquarters. Even Nueng is on the watchlist!

4) Tonhon from Tonhon Chonlatee (2020)

Not to out myself as an enjoyer of silly goofy times , but I did have fun watching Fish Upon The Sky and Secret Crush On You, so OFCOURSE I thought I would like this one too but GOD was it rough. Did I still finish it? Yes. Did I fawn over PoddKhao pairing and have been quietly praying for some kind of reunion ever since? Also yes. Was I foaming at the mouth barking everytime Tonhon AKA Podd was on my screen? I'm not gonna comment without lawyer present.

5) Tew from My Dear Gangster Oppa (2023)

Speaking of Tonhon Chonlatee...AH! Ai Long Nhai (TC's spiritual prequel of sorts) was sure...something. And by something I mean I saw Meen and decided I will never speak ill of men ever again, feminism quite literally left my body. And then a year later My Dear Gangster Oppa came out and guess what??! MEEN IS THE GANGSTER OPPA! Dreams really do come true, kids.

6) Wen from Moonlight Chicken (2023)

(or Tian from ATOATS or Mueang Nan fron FUTS). Mix...I will eat you. Always so dewy and healthy and sparkly-eyed. But Wen from Moonlight Chicken is something out of the realm of my imagination. The sex appeal? The maturity?? The gentleness??!! Somebody sedate me before I say something I will not be able to justify in court.

7) Vee from Love Mechanics (2022)

He is a pretty bisexual who makes the most abhorrent stupid decisions known to men and then weeps and suffers for them WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED? Once again, is the show flawless or even remotely coherent? Absolutely not. That being said Vee brought me so much joy by being stupid I'm forever grateful.

(also YinWar are so back GO WATCH JACK AND JOKER TRAILER)

8) Prapai from Love In The Air (2022)

To a certain extent I've enjoyed every MAME show I've watched. To do that you need to possess the rare ability called "I abandoned every shred of moral integrity to gawk at hot men". And Prapai? MAN is this bitch hot. Tall dark handsome? Check! Bisexual on a bike? Check! Stubborn and annoying? CHECK!

9) Xiang Hao Ting from HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (2019)

*incoherent wailing and sobbing* IM NOT EXPLAINING SHIT ABOUT HIM LEAVE ME ALONE

10) AlanJeff from Pit Babe (2023)

My newest obsession! I refuse to separate our local senior citizen and his favorite prophetic mechanic. Both of them are hot as shit in their own way. Alan is a sexy dilf with so much weight and responsibility on his shoulders it's a miracle he retained his optimism and youthful awkwardness. And Jeff is a prickly baby-cow-baby-deer eyed baby that is so touch starved it's actually a little funny. SO I GUESS ALANJEFF SANDWICH IT IS.

(don't be shy tag yourselves besties <3)

[2myl0ver]

wish I hadn't left ☆ koga yudai

Genre ⋅ angst Wordcount ⋅ 870 TW ⋅ reader is dead (suicide), separation, regrets, reader is now 23 but died 19 Masterlist ⋅ here

Author's note ⋅ this is a bit different from my other works so if it's kinda bad it's because i'm not used to writing stuff like this! :[ I literally cried myself while writing this lololol

© 2myl0ver Copyright 2024. Do not copy, repost, or translate without my permission. ♡︎ and ↻ are very much appreciated !

every year, on the date of your death anniversary you come down to the land to stand guard of your grave.

whenever this time of the year comes around, you like to play a game with yourself – you guess who'll stay on your grave the longest.

it's been 4 years now, you've won a couple of times in the span of those 4 years. usually, it was your mother or one of your siblings. the one time you were wrong was when you guessed your sister but your best friend stayed the longest.

now, it was that time of the year again. February 17 – your death anniversary.

you sat on the grass beside your tomb and waited for people to arrive, each year the numbers of people that come to visit you get lower, but this was something you had expected the moment you wrapped the rope around your neck.

it was a cloudy day, will anyone even come? the day had just began and you were already thinking negatively, you get snapped out of this the second you start hearing foot steps and the voices of 2 familiar people.

you looked into the distance and saw it was your mother and your sister. this immediately lit you up though you knew they wouldn't last long because they hadn't brought anything with them like a picnic blanket, food or anything but it was nice to see them.

they talked to you or a bit, explaining why your father and your brother couldn't make it, updating you on things that has happened since the last time they came.

they lasted about 25 minutes before leaving, your mom didn't cry this anniversary – this relieved you. you didn't want to burden herself and this was the first year she visited without crying, this made you feel like you could move on and stop worrying about her.

an hour after they left, your group of friends from highschool came and spent 3 hours with you. seeing them again felt like a breath of fresh air, it seems like they've spent the longest today even though it was only 2pm. this year you hadn't guessed anyone as the amount of people coming to see you had lessened, it felt pointless.

but this particular day isn't the day you chose to burden yourself or drown yourself in regrets.

without notice, it was already 6pm and so far they have been the only ones to visit you. just as you were about to get up and look at other graves you heard footsteps coming towards your tomb.

you look up and see a tall, pale man dressed in black pants and a black turtle neck.

he sits down in front of your tomb before laying down a bouquet of red roses and removing his mask.

that's when realization hits you.

Koga Yudai. your first love, your best friend, your everything. in the span of 4 years, he has never visited you. you were childhood bestfriends, he left to pursue his dream when you were 15, he swore to comeback in a couple of years but being without him and having other mental problems consumed you which is what lead you to ending your life. you never got to confess your love to him

he brushes his hair out of his face, he looks hesitant – like he has so much to say but can't get any words out.

just as he opens his mouth – he breaks down crying, moving his hands from his lap onto his face.

"I-Im s-so sorry." he sobs out, it doesn't take you long to follow, tears quickly forming in your eyes.

you just sit there, staring at him with pity.

"I'm s-so sorry it took me so long to visit, I'm so sorry for leaving I-I.." he pauses, he knows he wont be able to say another word if he doesn't calm himself down.

he calms down in the slightest, wiping his tears away while more come pouring down. "I'm sorry. I wish I hadn't left, then maybe none of this would've happened. m-maybe to you we were bestfriends but to me you were everything. y/n, I was in love. maybe this is too late, and it's stupid to tell you now that- that you can't even listen but I can't live knowing I never told you. I love you, in every way you can imagine. I love you and everything about you, I wish right now I could be telling you this with you alive, in front of me but it's too late. If this is how I have to do it, I will. I went everywhere to find these flowers, I remember-" he lets out a laugh before continuing, "I remember I used to pick out the same roses from school because you'd always talk about them. remember the mystery person that left roses on your table? that was me."

you sat next to him while he rambled, telling you everything that he's achieved, also telling you secrets he did in highschool just to get you your favorite things.

he left at 11pm, just before your time came at 12am. you lost guessing this year, but it was worth it.

[iovesia]

hello I took a good 2 day break (unwillingly because I literally had to drag myself away from searching up your user just because I wanna have more content to read when I get back :(( it was a terrible break) ANYWAYS IM BACK NOW AND IM NOT SURPRISED TO SAY YOU HAVE A NEW THEME.. (it’s so lovely Constantine brain rot frfr) anyways how have you been doing josie? (Ik I call u pookie most of the time but a change is good too)

Anyways school is starting after a months break. I am distraught. I’m gonna lose it. I need to sob in jc’s arms while he calls me stupid for being dramatic over these little things BUT HE PROBABLY STILL WOULD PAT YOUR HAR TO MAKE U FEEL ABIT BETTER EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT.. ☹️ I love him so much he’s so pookie coded

-🥖 anon

HI POOKIE!! i missed you in my inbox ♡! ofc, y'know, i had to switch up my theme again— it's a routine at this point i can't keep one for more than two days i fear. my summer break finally started omfg but ty for asking <3

i'm sorry you're starting school omg :(( i feeeelll youuu, school literally made me pop a blood vessel jfc— but you're so real on constantine, pooks. i dunno if you've ever seen "bonnie and clyde" (1967)— but this scene where she's upset and just curls under his arm is so constantine coded i fear...

just curling in constantine's lap with dollops of tears rolling down your face. constantine —being the massive douchebag he is— scoffs when he sees you so stressed out and upset, but still lets you crawl onto him. he makes you look at him if you're facing away, his hand brushing tear tracks from your face.

"look, don't cry. you're gonna be fine, okay?" constantine's eyes soften when you turn to face him, and he purses his lips trying to think of something to say that doesn't make you feel worse. in the end he just shuts his trap, letting you enjoy his warm embrace.

[kuregure]

okay so second part!

volume 8 Japanese limited edition with the drama cd. I got it at a reasonable price on Vinted as well so I was very happy!

Even if I understand absolutely nothing of what they are saying, there is no image or subtitles, I appreciate it 😔 I literally jumped when I heard Shinya's voice calling Guren as he knocked on his office door! I was listening and smiling like I understood something LMAO

also it's a limited edition of volume 8, the volume where Guren is on the cover, ARE YOU AGAINST HIM?? IT'S A CONSPIRACY ?? DO YOU WANT TO REPLACE HIM??? 🤨🤨🤨 (this is a joke just in case huh)

and I saw that there was another limited edition, I don't know which volume, but I'm waiting for it to be on Vinted because well yk, ebay is a definite no from now on

next, the cat16 drama cd!! With the volume number 6 of cat16 ! I haven't listened to it yet and this time I was able to read the translation on tumblr of what was there thanks to someone (she will recognize herself and THANK YOU really!!!)

it had Guren on the cover too, of course I took it. I bought it from the same seller as the limited edition volume 8!

I miss cat16 a lot and i miss Asami

the supposedly limited edition DVDs but there is always stock somewhere lmao so not really limited. However, the stickers, posters, photos, cards and books inside were VERY appreciated!

both POP Yuichirooooo! the second is damaged because the person who sold it to me didn't put it in a box, just in bubble wrap 😠 I was outraged

maybe I will buy Shinoa later. It will depend on how it evolves! For now, I'm proud of her

I'm sad there's no Guren in POP but that's life. (I sob)

THIS is my favorite thing in my entire room. I received it this week and OMG I spent so much on it! I had no choice but to buy it on ebay because it was no longer in stock anywhere and no one was selling it on another site. I've been looking for it for 2 years at a lower price.

One day, someone listed it for only €70 on Vinted, I was only €20 short and my mother told me NO. As a result, obviously someone bought it and I had to buy it 2 years later at the price of €295 (shippings included) 🤡 it's my trauma

but I don't regret it and sometimes I suddenly remember that I have it, I raise my head to look at him and I smile 😭

And finally my wall ! Everything is from the limited edition DVDs, I had to hang them somewhere. And the frame is a gift from my mom! I didn't hang the stickers and cards

I'm thinking of printing and hanging a nice picture of Guren somewhere. I had done this before but crushed a bug on it so had to throw it away 😔 maybe I'll print some cat16 images too

so Kagami, I spent a lot on your work! so you better have to make a happy end 😔😔😔😔

what do you mean by "Guren" is my favorite?? no 🙄💅