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#live in the air the series
gillianthecat · 2 years
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Thoughts while watching Love in the Air episode 8 (PrapaiSky 1):
~ Obviously they're going to return to that first illegal race to start this section - no question, everything was set up for that to happen. Yet I still feel inordinately proud of myself for predicting it. 😊
~ 🥺 Sky psyching himself up to follow Rain.
~ I don't think we've met Pakin yet? He keeps getting hyped as scary and I had the sudden thought that he's Sky's evil ex. But I don't think that would actually make sense.
~ What motorcycle adjacent company is sponsoring this, by the way? I wondered last time and then never looked into it.
~ Ooh. I think I like this moment of first eye contact - Prapai's interest and smirk, Sky's [puzzled?] stare. The musical cues there were effective.
~ I really really want to like these two together. Please Mame, don't fuck it up for me. Please.
~ I personally connect more with these actors and their chemistry, which makes them more fun to watch, but would also make any creepy parts harder for me to brush off. (Who am I kidding, I know there will be dubcon stuff, the only question is how much, how dubious, and for what percentage of their story.)
~ Sky! I love you. The way he gathers up his courage and grabs Prapai's collar. 💜
Ok. Well this kissing looks pretty fucking consensual so far (if I close my eyes and ignore the whole pressuring him into part.)
Ok. Yeah. That was hot. 🥵 😳 And Sky definitely looked like he was enjoying himself.
~ Ok why are we revisiting this entire scene with Rain and Puyu? Not what I'm here for. Oh maybe it's exposition about how powerful/dangerous the street race organizers are? (But we don't need the whole scene for that, musical cues, kiss and all. It takes away from the PrapaiSky momentum.)
~ Sky 🥺 Why are you sad?
~ But so far it feels like dubcon and pressure, not noncon, so it's tolerable to me. It helps that it's obvious that Sky enjoyed the sex, just doesn't trust Prapai (understandably!)
~ I hope this little nepotism baby at his desk in his suit is supposed to look like a kid playing dress up to go to his dad's office, because he does. Although he looks very good in the suit anyway.
~ Yes Sky! Ignore him and just walk out the door! I love you. 💜 (Shades of Sher from Fahlanruk)
~ I think I like this structure of both characters recalling the night before in flashes the next morning.
~ Prapai is smitten. It's adorable. And it feels true to me that he would be after that night.
~ Ooh. An entirely new character. Hello little brother. An odd conversation that I'm just going to ignore, but we establish that Prapai likes being single and free.
~ I'm starting to feel hopeful that Prapai will have his own character arc and have to change in some way. But not confident.
~ Oh, Sky 🥺
~ I do like that LITA is continuing this structure of their parallel lives in montage. And that we're revisiting some of the university moments from Sky's perspective.
~ Ok. Time skip.
~ SIG!!!! Sig Sig Sig 🥳 (And possible support for a Sig-Som background romance? 👀)
~ Long suffering Sky. My baby.
~ Random non-Sky lover, and Prapai is not feeling it.
~ SIG!!! He continues to be great 🥰 And it's nice to see a more serious but still weirdo side to him. Mediate, baby!
~ I guess we're still mid RainPayu? I don't remember their exact timeline, but I do think it wasn't finished until summer break.
~ Wise elder and occasional wingman/occasional cockblock Saifah is back.
~ I actually like Prapai's decision to pursue Sky. He's waited months, Sky's still on his mind; it makes sense. (However I still don't trust how he's going to go about his pursuit.)
~ More weather puns. They're probably even better if I understand Thai.
~ Sig relaxing and having fun reading 💜 And pulling an all-nighter to do it. I knew there was a reason he's a fandom fave.
~ (More acting through pouting. I'm still not sure about this choice, even with my beloved Sky. Ok, actually I am sure; I don't like it.)
~ Ok, yes, objectively Prapai is being a creep here. But it kinda works for me. And I love Sky's sarcastic responses. 💜 (I think he knows who it is?)
~ Or I guess not?
~ Not to justify predatory behavior, but I'm gonna justify predatory behavior by saying that it's at least plausible that Prapai would think that Sky would welcome this game. (If I squint and ignore a lot.)
~ Oh, Sky 🥺 Is that why you think it couldn't be Prapai? Obviously he's attracted to you, that's how this all started, remember? Are you dealing with low self esteem along with your trauma?
~ More shirtless seme in his home gym scene for... reasons. Damn, this scene isn't even pretending to be about anything but admiring Prapai's body. No objection here. I have to say, my first thought (other than hot!) when I see a muscled up actor these days is "good for him, I'm glad he gets a chance to show off all that hard work in building those muscles."
~ SIG!!! 🥳 In the perfect setting for his weirdness. I'll bet $100 bucks this scene was improvised by Tonnam.
~ Hiding behind the box!! Instant reflex. I love it. Too bad it's also completely ineffective.
~ Rain! Why are you selling out your bestie like this? 😟 oh, I guess he's just kind of oblivious.
~ Prapai is a manipulative dick, but my expectations for him were on the floor, so I'm able to find it kind of cute. And Sky kind of opened himself up by not accepting Rain's offer for a ride. He seems like he'd know better.
~ Prapai's attempt at seduction is neither awful nor all that interesting. I like Sky's hardass responses though.
~ Aww, I think I'm gonna like Sky's developing habit of grabbing Prapai by the collar. And Prapai's smitten look as he Sky walks away.
~ Again establishing (to the audience though not to Prapai) that it's lack of trust, not lack of interest.
~ the steel-hearted boy. I love it.
~ Sky makes a very good point and Rain should grovel. Never give out anyone's phone number without their permission. Rain you darling space cadet.
~ I 💜 Sky
~ Not really excited about this dorm manager gossip, tbh. I like her outfits though, those triangle earrings especially.
~ The complex and nuanced journey of Sky's face when he's on the phone with Prapai. (My instinct is to blame all the moments of overacting on the director, because he can be quite good and subtle.)
~ Plant daddy 🪴 Sky doesn't want to hurt the sunflowers 🌻 🥺 (25 bucks that next episode we'll see them in a vase and not in the trash can.)
~ Teenagers. Lol, Sky is four years older than you, you nepo baby.
~ I like this (probably long-suffering) assistant!
I went into this with basement level expectations for Prapai, both because of Mame in general, and because from the few glimpses I saw on my dash that made it past the filters, it seemed like people hated him. He managed to be nowhere near as bad as I expected, so I was able to enjoy him and Sky overall. I'm sure if I'd watched it naïve I would have hated him much more.
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praisethelorde · 3 months
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Remembering that Oak has goat legs is almost as shocking to me as finding out that Holly Black confirmed that Valerian was sexually attracted to Jude.
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wanderlust-in-my-soul · 8 months
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Dispair [noun] /dɪˈspeər/ - the feeling that there is no hope and that you can do nothing to improve a difficult or worrying situation
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gunsatthaphan · 7 months
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mark & namtan on 'pluto'
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podsn · 7 months
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I’m glad to see animated kids actually look like kids. It makes the fact that they are child soldiers more real and shocking.
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imaybe5tupid · 1 month
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Why bother? (Why bother?) It's gonna hurt me. (It's gonna hurt me.) It's gonna kill when- (Why bother!) -You desert me! (Gonna hurt me!)
Set after Nightmare. Laios is reminiscing and contemplating.
#laishuro#laios touden#i make a lot of jokes on here since part of the fun of this blog for me is limiting myself to only expressing ideas via drawings#as much as I can to try to see what I can try to convey in the limited time I have to draw each day which is sometimes like 15minutes#but laios idea of who shuro was to him and who he continues to be and how it ties into his own feelings of self worth and self hatred#not to mention being so thoroughly defined by having never been indulged before by the men in his life#are so compelling to me#and then of course you mix in toshiros own mind prisons#and their established dynamic of him begrudgingly putting up with him because he feels he has to and bc hes cursed with obedience#whilst laios genuinely thinks shuro does it because he likes it and likes laios because why else would anyone act like that#when everyone else in his life has not hesitated to Let Him Know#this is what is so fun about relationships like this…forever passing by each other’s true feelings like ships in the night#and on toshiros side umineko said it best People are riddles. They want someone else to solve their riddle#they live life wanting someone to solve the riddle that they are#the most difficult riddle in the world#without love the truth cannot be seen sighhhh many such cases#sometimes i get embarassed how deep i get for some of the characters in this series it really is that deep sometimes but not always#but WHATEVER#i never even engaged in or was interested in shipping the several years i read dunmeshi EXCEPT laishuro lol#which i sadistically wanted to stay one sided and miserable forever. I rarely get fed such genuinely fraught dynamics as their one in manga#so i became obsessed#and walked through the desert alone for 40 years and then checked in as anime started airing that other people ship this and gaf#and decided to unleash the jokes and ideas that my like 2 friend who like anime previously suffered alone as though they were jesus christ#now tho as much as I still enjoy tragedy and pain and emotional suffering I’ve let love and peace and requited fulfilled yaoi into my life#with laishuro. and its great!#my comics
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in honor of thailand passing a same-sex marriage bill 🌈
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cavennmalore · 28 days
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with the amount that the main series dunks on the forbidden cities i would just love for unraveled to be just an unabashed celebration of humanity. like yes there is poverty and pollution and crime but also there is dancing and music and rollercoasters and scary movies. let keefe discover the beauty here! the first book was all about the wonder of the lost cities but unraveled could be all about the wonder of the forbidden cities
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absolutebl · 3 months
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Top 10 Great BLs That Are REALLY hard to find (but worth tracking down)
But you may want to go hunting anyway!
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Seven Days
Seven Days: Monday-Thursday
Seven Days: Friday-Sunday
Japan 2015
Never doubt my ability to recommend this show. One of the best live action yaois ever made, with perfectly structured angst, fantastic characters and acting, and no problematic tropes (rare in Japanese BL). The leads have excellent chemistry although it’s low heat there’s still some really cute mutual kisses.
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Cherry Magic AKA 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii
Japan 2020
The sweetest fluffiest magical realism BL, packaged as a pinning office romance, very low heat (practically chaste) but the cutest. It’s truly great.
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Cherry Magic Thailand
Thai 2024
A soft charming warm hug of a show about crushes and mind reading and self worth, with no-fuss execution from a consummate team and an OG lead pair proving why they remain eternal and deserve to grow up. Look, here’s the thing, Cherry Magic is a great Thai BL in its own right not comparing it to any other iteration. But even when I do compare (and I've seen all the Cherries and read the manga) it still stands. I personally like it slightly better than the Japanese live action, but I think that’s because I just really like Thai BL and I LOVE TayNew. Also all the kissing was both present and better than any other iteration. As it should be from Thailand.
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I Feel You Linger in the Air
Thai 2023
IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework (much like Until We Meet Again). Steeped in history and family drama it edges into lakorn (but no as much as To Sir With Love and with way less scenery chewing). This is an elegant and classy BL... from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. The main couple (both as a pair and individuals) were excellent, particularly Bright (Yai) whose eye-work acting style is a personal favorite of mine. Pity about the ending. Oh it wasn’t that sad but it wasn’t good either. This show could easily have earned a 10/10 from me except that it fumbled the… erm… balls in the final quarter. Argh. Whatever.
All about the ecstasy and the agony here.
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Restart After Come Back Home AKA Risutato wa tadaima no ato de
Japan 2020
Atmospheric study in rural Japan meets complex family dynamics built on a romance framework of city boy meets country boy, grumpy/sunshine. It’s beautiful and icy sweet. Slow moving in places but ultimately worth the patience, low heat, low angst, and stunning.
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Given
Japan 2021
Boy joins band, falls in love with other boy. The singing is terrible, fast forward through that but with the possible exception of the hair styles, this BL could have been made in 2015 and no one would be surprised. As such, it wasn’t ground breaking, but it didn’t disappoint either.
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Make a Wish
Thai 2023
A doctor who can see the dead strikes a bargain with a wish-granting irreverent tree angel - naturally they fall in love (from Sammon: Manner of Death & Triage). Stars Fluke Natouch opposite not Ohm, but who cares because Fluke has chemistry with everybody. Once again the Thai afterlife is incredibly bureaucratic but I enjoyed the premise and the unfolding of the story (it’s not predictable but still satisfying and with nice little twist). I like that the doctor is just gay AF - fag hag bestie and all the swagger. The cast is excellent but the comedic stylings are a bit overblown and tonally off. It had sad parts and did make me cry but is ultimately happy with a great sex scene, good smiley kisses, and all the agency.
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2 Moons The Ambassador AKA 2 Moons 3
Thai 2022
A Thai pulp that felt like it came out 5 yrs ago with many of the flaws inherent to that time and studio system, including manufactured angst and convoluted plot, but an ultimately sweet main couple that (as a pairing) feels a bit more modern and satisfying to watch than they started out. This will probably go down in history as one of the few BLs where I genuinely didn’t care about any of the side couples. All that said I find this show oddly appealing and rewatchable and I have no excuses for that.
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I Want to See Only You AKA Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai
Japan 2022
This is a beautiful, well acted piece of cinema, about two boys who are opposite personalities and grew up together. Gifted and serious Sakura pines after outgoing eccentric manic pixie dream boy, Yuma. It is very pretty and this is the kind of atmospheric elegantly performed BL that only really comes from Japan (complete with dead fish kisses - what you though Korea invented them? oh no).
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Triage
Thai 2022
BL does Groundhog Day featuring a doctor stuck in a time loop who must save a poor little rich boy from death by seducing the stuffing out of him, then PLOT TWIST, poor little rich boy must do the same for doctor! Unfortunately... stuffing keeps leaking. I thought the plot was engaging if a little redundant and occasionally exhausting. The pairs were all well done, low heat but with decent chemistry and the support characters were likeable (or unlikeable, as required). If anything, the romance arc detracted and distracted from the main plot, but that doesn't stop this from being a genuinely good show.
HONORABLE MENTION
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Great Men Academy
Thai 2019
Bodyswap involving unicorns making a teenage girl into a boy makes this questionable as a BL (because, ya know, gender). But the fact remains that James is killer in the lead, and I (who do not like bodyswap) loved this damn show. Look, there is actual plot, hotties at boarding school, "bully the one you love" trope, some weird VR shit, very bad CGI, and yes, the boys end up together... whether they boys or not, so to speak.
Some of these shows may appear on a smaller streaming service, like WeTV, or they may be on a legal platform in your territory. I hope it goes without saying you should check there first.
(source)
This list updated Spring 2024, not responsible for cool stuff that went missing (or was added to a platform) after that date.
It's it last in a series the rest of which are:
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willyoubemycherryy · 4 months
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➯imagine being Thomas Webb’s pretty shameless neighbor❣︎#𝟙 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤
❥𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐛𝐚𝐝, 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐟 𝐧𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐬, 𝐟𝐞𝐦 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 ⚠︎︎MDNI⚠︎︎
ALSO: this is an x reader but I used my name Dollette Watson ie. Doll/D.W for short (my mom was born in the 60’s can u tell?) just because I think the constant y/n is annoying if u want me to change it lmk and I will♥︎
“𝐻𝑒 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑜𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑒. 𝐻𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑢𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑛’ 𝐸𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑜 𝑃𝑢𝑐𝑐𝑖..“
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When you first moved in, you actually hadn’t seen him at all for almost 3 weeks.
Between settling in, moving your stuff together, job hunting, and being somewhat social, it wasn't until things slowed down a bit that you finally did see him and damn, did you see him.
You had just walked through your buildings door. Tired from work and the tight ass “uniform”, which was nothing more than a button up top with a tiny pinstripe skirt. Huffing in irritation you ready yourself for the trek up the stairs in goddamn heels, when you notice feet and the man attached to them blocking your way.
Raising an eyebrow, you wait a beat for him to move until you realize that he was wearing headphones.
You walk closer until the tips of your shoes are nearly kissing and watch the exact moment he snaps back to planet earth. Startling as he looks up at you.
You were suddenly grateful he had headphones on when you gasped because nothing could have prepared you for someone so attractive.
He was undeniably the finest man you have ever seen in your life, period.
Pretty cut brown hair, thoughtful baby blues behind smart framed glasses that brought attention to his high ruddy cheekbones, and god his nose. You have to blink away the graphic image of how good said nose would feel grinding against your clit before the present dull throb in your core turns into full blown pulsating.
Your efforts don’t matter because it’s game over for you once you drop your eyes to his lips. They were just so…full. Deep pink n plush, that line down the middle of his bottom lip was doing something to you.
You don’t even care if he notices you checking him out. In fact, you want him to. Because you were going to have him one way or another and have a real fun time with it too.
So, you watch his eyes flit to the hem of your shamelessly short skirt before trailing them down your legs, all the way to your heels. Enjoying the heat that his gaze alone lights in you.
Unfortunately, you are tired so playtime will have to wait.
Clearing your throat, you give him a cheeky smile, “Going up? Or are you waiting down here forever?” Tone teasing as you walk up the first two stairs to stand beside him. He watches your every move almost devotedly.
“No, I’m going up. I mean- I live here so that’s…yeah. I was just lost in thought.” His voice is deeper than you thought it’d be as he stumbles a bit through his answer and the raspiness in it makes you want to whine.
But wait.
“You live here too? Because I moved in a few weeks ago actually.” You tell him and he nods.
“Yeah? weird I’ve never seen you around the building though.” you laugh as you definitely would have remembered seeing him.
“That’s probably because you’re obviously a busy guy. Lost in thought in the middle of the stairs. Does this thought have a name?” Smiling, you prod him juuust a little, to gauge if he’s single. He smiles with you and it’s cute. Lightly shaking his head before he suddenly stands.
Fuck you upside down in a full Nelson he’s tall.
“Busy is the last thing I am. The name was Mimi. I’m just the friend that never made it to boyfriend, but I’ll get out of your way…?” He pauses as he waits for your name.
“DW. Dollette Watson. But for what it’s worth,” you hesitate before deciding to just go for it,
“I’m positive you’re the type to talk someone through it so it’s her loss entirely. Try not to sulk too much...?” You know you’re being bold. Innuendo all in your voice but he’s so hot you truly can’t help it. Thanks to his height and close proximity, you have to look up to make eye contact which is hard because of the way you’re trying not to stare at his full lips. And he smelled so good.
“Thomas, Webb. But thank you.” His voice is lower as he looks down at you with hooded eyes and the urge to devour his mouth hits you hard. But, you just walk up the steps until you can look down at him and turn to face him.
“Well, it’s been a pleasure meeting you but…if you ever want to get busy, come to 5b. I’m sure we could find something interesting to do”. You aren’t teasing this time. You mean business. Leaning in to whisper so close to his face that you can smell his chapstick. His eyes widen before they drop and you actually do whine as he bites his lip and comes closer.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Until next time though. Bye Thomas.” You can’t resist and lean forward to nip his bottom lip. His light throaty groan sends warmth all over your body as it tapers into a soft “fuck”.
“Bye Doll”, Thomas mutters after you pull away, briefly noticing how his ears and neck have reddened, before you start walking up to your place.
Oh, he’s going to be fun. You think, feeling his eyes on you while you walk up until you’re out of sight.
Smirking, you hope he saw your panties…and how soaked they were.
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blue-grama · 7 months
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Fave Thai BL moments of 2023
I thought about doing fave series for my own personal BL Wrapped, but this is the "live inside 3 seconds forever via a GIF" website. So: Here are some moments I keep coming back to. Thank you to the GIFmakers because you all are amazing.
Wen and Jim's first meeting, Moonlight Chicken
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There are so many visceral, gorgeous moments in Moonlight Chicken, but this scene?? My Roman Empire. Perfectly encapsulates the feeling of being drunk and wistful somewhere hot and humid. Anything could happen and everything mundane feels beautiful. Mix does yearning so well.
2. Khun Yai's drunken poetry recitation, I Feel You Linger in the Air
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Again with the drunken yearning. Yai's such a romantic and I love that in a period piece. Bright nailed that foggy intoxicated state and his makeup people nailed the flush in his cheeks.
3. The olive oil, I Feel You Linger in the Air
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This was maybe the most intimate scene of the year. The TENSION, the backwards way they get into the scene, the cuts between Jom and Jom with Yai. It was so creative and ridiculously well-done. I just--
4. The spin, Laws of Attraction
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Laws of Attraction was here to have a good time and so was I. Also, Jam Rachata should call me.
5. Tinn destroys a custom bedframe, Laws of Attraction
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This was everything. A clear Manner of Death homage, undercut with Laws of Attraction's unhinged brand of humor, in a scene that rapidly swung into full tear-your-heart-out mode. LoA was a series that knew exactly what it wanted to be and never failed to deliver. Often in slow motion.
6. The 25th hour, Only Friends
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I ultimately felt like Only Friends faltered pretty hard on story, and I will always be mad about Boston, but when this series hit, it hit. I loved its aesthetics and the music, and I will credit the writers with creating some absolutely amazing characters. The Sand and Ray angst in Episode 5 was probably the peak of Only Friends for me. The 25th hour concept was so good, and First and Khaotung just nailed the emotion.
7. The fishtank, Last Twilight
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It says a lot that just four episodes in, I struggled with which moment to pull out of Last Twilight. I'm going with the fish tank, because of the cinematography of it all -- the split between the clarity and the blur, the reflections, the way it's giving 1996 Romeo + Juliet. This also could have been the hands, or the pink shirt at the marketplace, or the flirting-via-the-scent-of-jasmine scene or or ... Anyway, Aof Noppharnach 4lyfe.
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casualavocados · 1 year
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“He must have wanted to express it, as his character can’t play anything.”  — dir. Au Kornprom
“I was a member of the music club at my school. I was a school singer before. So I’m quite familiar with musical instruments. However, I mainly sang. I’d observed how people played different instruments and I followed them.”
GEMINI NORAWIT as Tinn, MY SCHOOL PRESIDENT bts: Open House, Open Heart
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pharawee · 8 months
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—I FEEL YOU LINGER IN THE AIR 💮 Episode 11
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theyellowhue · 2 years
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I think its so hilarious that former playboy Prapai said "no" to sex with his whole chest and when he admitted that, "okay, i played servant all day for you BUT NOT FOR SEX. The end goal for today was to get kisses from you and maybe heavy petting" then you can just see the resolve in his eyes disintegrating but he was still firm on "what i really want is to love you and have your heart and if that leads to sex, then thats just a bonus not a priority"
Prapai really went from playboy to devoted house husband after a one-night stand and a single date from a college kid who is so emotionally guarded that the walls he built around his heart could make the great wall run for its money
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bl-bracket · 23 days
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Introducing the next BL Bracket: Most Unhinged in a BL!
Which characters are the most off the rails? Who is the least normal guy (gender neutral) in the room? Whose hinges have long since blown off and are doing things that are so out of pocket the second you think about them even a little bit?
Remind you of someone? Well, now is the time for all unhinged characters to battle it out for the title of most unhinged in our next BL Bracket!
Rules are in the pinned post and the submission form.
Submit them here!
Submissions close: June 8th @ 7 PM (GMT)
@tournament-announcer
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prince-liest · 3 months
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Was asked a question about how I write Alastor's relationship with being mixed recently and figured it might be worth sharing my answer here:
(Obligatory disclaimer: I'm not a mixed Black person and I've never even been to the US South, so I'm never going to do a deep-dive on this and my efforts are largely in writing this character in a cohesive and respectful way that doesn't overstep the bounds of my experiences but also doesn't erase his background, either.)
Alastor strikes me as someone who is pretty dedicated to, to put it potentially uncomfortably, masking as white. He straightens his hair, puts on a transatlantic accent, and generally presents himself in a way that he feels is representative of a certain style of "class" back in his day, which was a very white-coded style of class. The fact that his actual body is now extremely unnaturally colored makes it easy for people to pick up the hints he's giving them about how he expects them to see him, unthinkingly.
There's this moment I wrote in 666: Live On Air!:
He lets his smile fade until it’s that old, soft thing on his face. “I think,” he says quietly, “that I look rather like my mother. If she had red hair and antlers, of course.” Angel hesitates. “That a good thing or a bad thing?” Alastor contemplates for a moment. “I think it just is,” he says finally. “For all I know, she does have antlers up there, wherever she ended up. It’s nice to see the echoes of her in my own face.”
And given the context of the scene, it's not wrong to interpret it as an exploration of being aroace, or having loose attachments to gender underneath the vagaries of presentation. I think all of these things can be connected and intertwined; identities and memories are so hard to separate and isolate in that way.
But intertwined along with all of that, I think it's worth noting that unlike Alastor, his mother would not have had the ability to pass as white. So seeing echoes of her in his own face... it's a whole mess of feelings about being true to himself and his mother vs being safe vs taking advantage of what he can in a bigoted society vs his mother loving him and wanting what is best for him vs not knowing anymore if that is safety or truth vs him loving his mother and wanting to honor her.
It's a lot! And given what kind of person Alastor is, it's no wonder he doesn't want to fucking talk about it.
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